#obey me humor | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

another-lost-mc · 11 months

Text

When They Say "F*ck Lucifer" (& Think MC Takes It Literally) Headcanons | THE DEMON BROTHERS 2.6k words | NSFW | gn!Reader | Crack Treated Seriously Content warnings: Cursing, implied relationships, pet names, jealous/possessive behaviour, misunderstandings and poor communication, demon form mentioned (Satan), suggestive content.

BELPHEGOR

"Belphie, it's time for dinner!" Lucifer sent you to find him, and when he wasn't napping in your bed, you knew where to check next.

He mumbles something into his pillow and you can't make out the words, but you know he's listening. "It's the third night this week you've skipped eating dinner with the family. Come on, you know how Lucifer is."

Belphie turns his head towards you enough so that you can hear him more clearly. "Oh, fuck Lucifer." He rolls over and starts snoring again, and you stomp back down the attic stairs in frustration.

When you join the others for dinner, you jab your fork into your food with more force than necessary. You're halfway done your meal when Belphie suddenly plops down into the empty chair beside yours. He reaches for your free hand and leans against your shoulder.

"Belphie?" you ask him curiously, but he says nothing. He doesn't eat anything either. He tries to cuddle even closer to you instead, and he shoots glares at his older brother sitting at the head of the table.

It takes you longer to eat than normal with one of your hands firmly tucked in Belphie's grip. As soon as you finish your dinner, he pulls you away from the table and back up to the attic. He curls around you for the rest of the night like he's afraid you might disappear if he doesn't.

He doesn't skip any more meals for the rest of the week.

BEELZEBUB

You have one hand stretched out in front of you, pressed firmly against Beel's chest. The other is holding a container of sweets behind your back.

"No, you can't have these," you remind Beel for the hundredth time. "They're for tomorrow, remember?"

But Beel's only half-paying attention to you. His focus is latched onto the container in your hand, and if he wasn't worried about hurting you by accident, he'd simply take it from you.

"It's not fair," his low voice rumbles thickly, and there's drool leaking from the corner of his mouth now. "I'm starving!"

You shake your head and look around for something else to tempt Beel with instead. "Lucifer bought these for Diavolo, and we're taking them to the tea party tomorrow."

"Fuck Lucifer," Beel growls, and it's the loudest and angriest he's sounded yet. You both look startled by the outburst; your hand slips away from holding him back, and his jaw drops open when he realizes what he said to you.

You hold the container tightly against your chest. He could easily take it from you now, but he surprises you when he doesn't. His eyes are fixed solely on your face, as if the thing he wanted moments ago is completely irrelevant. He holds his arms out like he's trying to block you from leaving the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I'll look for something else to eat, but please, don't go."

ASMODEUS

"Are you sure you should post that?" you ask, glancing over Asmo's shoulder as he types another inflammatory reply on Devilgram.

"Of course!" he exclaims. "You read their comment. ‘Pretentious and gaudy?’ MY clothing line?! No, I won’t stand for it.”

He’s typing quickly and you’re not exactly sure what his Devildom insult is supposed to mean, but you imagine it’s not very nice by the way Asmo cackles when he hits Send.

“I don’t want to be that person,” you start nervously while Asmo scrolls through the other comments on his post, “but maybe you should ignore them? All this back and forth is drawing a lot of negative attention to your Devilgram feed.”

Asmo pauses what he's doing and looks at you suspiciously. “Who told you that?”

You bite your lip and look away. “Lucifer asked me to talk to you about it.” When Asmo rolls his eyes, you throw your hands up. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it? Aren’t you worried this little spat might impact your new launch?”

Asmo jabs his D.D.D. in your direction. “He’s only worried about drama if it involves someone close to Diavolo.” He runs his hand through his hair and looks down at his phone screen again. “Fuck him. If Lucifer cares that much, he can come talk to me himself.”

“Ugh!” You stand up with a huff and head towards the door. You tried to talk to him and it’s obvious he’s not going to listen. You hope Lucifer believes you later when you tell him you tried to get Asmo to see reason.

When you reach for the door handle, you’re surprised when Asmo suddenly blocks your way. Sometimes you forget how fast demons can move.

“I didn’t mean that,” he says seriously. His housecoat falls open slightly when he leans towards you, and his expression isn't angry but dead-serious.

“Didn’t mean what?” you ask confusedly.

“Fucking my brother. Don’t do it.” His hands grasp your shoulders and you can’t help but laugh.

“I wasn’t going to? I was going to go back to my room while you carry on with your…” you trail off, gesturing to his abandoned D.D.D. on the bed, “…little feud.”

He steers you back towards his bed. “If you want to relax, then I insist you stay here instead. My room is much more comfortable than yours. Besides, I just thought of something you can help me with.”

You sit on the edge of the bed and smile up at him. “Like apologizing to that poor demon lord you keep picking fights with?”

Asmo winks at you with a hint of a smirk, and he tugs at the belt holding his housecoat closed. “Maybe we can do that after.”

SATAN

Satan walks around the narrow pathways in his room, avoiding the fragile stacks of books that litter his floor. You sit on his bed and watch him anxiously, giving him the patience and time he needs to tell you what's bothering him. You're careful to give him space when he's in one of these moods; it was one of the stipulations you agreed to before he let you inside earlier.

"So, you were in the garden earlier with some of the stray cats, and Lucifer did...what, exactly?" You've been trying to piece together what happened between Satan and his brother earlier, but it's hard to make sense of his grumbled and disjointed complaints.

"He scared them away," Satan bites out angrily. "I wasn't even feeding them treats. I sprinkled some catnip for them. What's the problem with that?"

You know Lucifer complains about the stray cats that flock to the House of Lamentation if Satan feeds them when he's not supposed to. You know that Lucifer isn't a fan of cats in general. But, you also know that Lucifer wouldn't purposefully hurt any of the cats that make their way into the garden, and he's not usually this petty.

"Is it possible he thought you were feeding them? I don't think he would make such a big fuss if he knew you were only giving them catnip." Satan glances at you and you can tell he's not convinced by your explanation. "What if I go with you to talk to him?"

"Fuck him," Satan snarls as he keeps pacing in front of you, fists clenching open and closed at his sides.

Sigh. Maybe you can talk to Lucifer on your own. Things have been peaceful between them lately, and this is such a silly thing for them to be at odds over.

Satan watches you stand up from his bed with a defeated sigh. When you try to shuffle past him, he wraps his arms around you from behind and pulls you against his chest. There's a wave of warm energy around you, and you feel the familiar feathers of his true form against your back.

"You're not going to leave me to see him, are you?" his rough voice grates against your neck. "You should stay here."

"Tomorrow we're going to sort this out together," you tell him when you meet his gaze over your shoulder.

His hands on your hips tighten. "Fine. But tonight, you're mine."

LEVIATHAN

"I think there's something wrong with your Akuzon account."

Levi asked you to pre-order the Dogi Maji anniversary bundle on his tablet, but the Submit Order button is greyed out every time you try to purchase it for him.

"Huh?" Levi spins around at his desk. He was doing some dungeons with his guild and you've been waiting for him to finish so you could watch anime together.

You tap the screen a few more times and shrug. "I don't know, it won't let me order anything."

Levi opens the Akuzon site on his second monitor and he sputters when he realizes what the problem is. "Lucifer put parental controls on the account again! Why would he do that?"

Of course. You knew Lucifer was upset at Levi for what happened earlier this week, and somehow his threat of punishment completely slipped your mind. "Well, you did summon Lotan on the RAD campus again..." you offer hesitantly.

"That wasn't my fault!" Levi argues loudly. He wilts a bit under your skeptical stare. "Okay, it wasn't completely my fault. Mammon took my rare Ruri-chan capsule figurine and wouldn't give it back."

You rub the back of your neck. You want to be sympathetic, you really do, but you can't necessarily blame Lucifer for his reaction either - an entire floor of the building was unusable due to the flooding.

"You know how Lucifer is, he'll change it back in a few days and we can order the game then."

"But what if it sells out before then?!" he shouts in frustration. "Fuck Lucifer!"

Levi rarely raises his voice like this to you, and he deflates immediately after his little outburst. "Wait–wait–wait!" he stammers quickly, launching himself out of his computer chair and into the empty seat beside you on the sofa. He holds your hands in his and squeezes so tightly that you wince. "I didn't mean that," he says imploringly, and his eyes dart around your face like he's nervous you don't believe him.

You mistakenly assume he's trying to apologize for getting so angry, and you pull him into a hug. "I know," and he nods against your shoulder. "What if I go to Purgatory Hall and order the game using Solomon's account instead?"

Levi sniffles and practically drags you into his lap. "Maybe later," he mumbles against your chest, the game temporarily shoved aside so he can keep you to himself instead. "What do you want to watch first?"

MAMMON

You flick on the light switch in Mammon's room and glare at him in annoyance. You warned him last night not to stay too late at the casino, and here he is, sleeping well past his alarm. At some point he chucked his D.D.D. across the room and promptly went back to sleep.

Great, now you're both going to be late, but for some reason, Lucifer seems to think herding Mammon to class is your responsibility. Lover's perks, you guess sarcastically as you stomp over to where the Avatar of Greed is snoring under a pile of blankets. One of his feet is dangling over the edge of the bed, and if you had more time, maybe slow, torturous tickles would teach him a lesson. For now, you grab the edge of his blankets and rip them off him in one smooth motion.

His eyes are still closed while his hands search blindly for the blankets that are on the floor by your feet. He's only in his boxers so the sudden gust of cool air against his skin makes him shudder. You feel a bit of petty satisfaction as you kick the blankets away for good measure.

"'m tired, goin' back to sleep, babe," he mumbles sleepily.

Well, at least he knows it's you, even if he is half-asleep.

"We're going to be so late for class, and Lucifer's going to kill me. Or you. Or both of us!" You wonder why Lucifer would send you to wake up Mammon, when his own threats of dangling him from the ceiling would probably be more effective. You guess waking Mammon up is meant to be your punishment for choosing to be with him of all demons in the first place.

Mammon groans and rolls over so you can't see him, but you can tell he's half-buried in his pillow when he grumbles, "Fuck 'em."

You throw up your hands and spin on your heel. "Fine, be that way," you snap. Your mood's already sour, and Lucifer's pestering and Mammon being himself isn't helping.

You should have enough time to grab something to eat and make it to class on time if you leave now. What you don't expect is for Mammon to not only get out of bed, but to somehow make it to the doorway before you do.

Damn, he's fast.

He's panting heavily and his eyes are clear now, his razor-sharp focus trained on you. You bump into his bare chest because you don't expect him to block your path. You open your mouth to ask what he's doing, but he leans forward and gives you a sloppy kiss instead. There's something almost desperate in the way his hands cradle your jaw and he drags his lips away from your mouth and dusts your cheeks and brow with feathery-soft kisses too.

"'m sorry," he mumbles, pulling you against him in a tight hug, "Wait for me while I get ready, yeah? Just, don’t–don’t leave. I’ll make it up to ya later, promise.”

LUCIFER

Lucifer pauses outside your bedroom door when he realizes you're speaking to someone on the phone. His brothers are all studying in their rooms - or they should be, same as you. He wonders who could possibly be so interesting that you're ignoring your studies to talk to them instead.

He assumes it's Solomon or Simeon, and he can't decide which of those two options is worse. Not that he cares, of course.

Even through the door, he can hear you clearly. He feels the slightest sense of guilt when he recognizes the tired, sad tone in your voice. Some of his brothers failed the last set of exams, and perhaps he was too strict with you considering your own scores were satisfactory - excellent even, in some classes. He knows that you've been ignoring your extracurriculars and hobbies to focus on studying so you don't disappoint him like his siblings do.

He catches the tail-end of your conversation and decides it's definitely Solomon on the other line if you're being invited to human world outings.

"...yeah, I heard that movie is in theatres now too. I think it looks good, but I'm too busy with–look, maybe once exams are over we can go see it, okay? I think Satan might like to see it too...uh huh...alright, you too. G'night."

Silence follows, and before Lucifer can knock on your door, he hears you sigh and mutter quietly, "Ugh, these stupid exams. Fuck Lucifer."

Well, there's a thought, isn't it? He was going to offer to take you to Madam Scream's to pick up some of those cupcakes you like. He considers it for only a split second and decides he likes your idea even more. His lips curl into a feral smirk, and he knocks once before letting himself inside.

"Huh? Oh, hi, Lucifer. I'm just going to..." but your voice tapers off. Whatever you were going to say dies in your throat when he leans against your door and slides the lock into place.

"I missed you," he murmurs, a surprisingly honest (and to you, completely random) confession that causes your cheeks to darken slightly. You swallow thickly and stare when he brings his hand to his mouth and pulls his glove off with his fucking teeth. "I think you deserve a little reward for all your hard work, hm?"

3K notes · View notes

lost-sheep-in-the-devildom · 1 year

Text

Lucifer: is that my shirt?

Mc: *wearing a white button up*

Mc: *looks down *

Mc: no?

Lucifer: that is ABSOLUTELY my shirt, give it back!

Mc: what, right now?

Lucifer: you shouldn't have stolen my shirt give it back

Mc: *handing over the shirt, now half-naked* geez calm down, we have like ten of these, how do you know it's your shirt?

Lucifer: I don't

Mc:

Mc: did you do all this just to get me to take my shirt off?

Lucifer: no

Mc: okay then give it back

Lucifer: no

#obey me luci x reader #obey me humor #obey me headcanons #obey me shitpost #obeyme #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me lucifer #obey me simp #obey me mc

3K notes · View notes

that-one-pretty-bitch · 1 year

Text

Asmo: Breathe if you admit your love for MC or recite the bible in Japanese if you wont

Mammon, holding his breath: 初めに、神は天と地を創造されました。そして地球は形がなく、空っぽでした。そして闇が深淵の面にあった。そして、神の霊が水の面を動いた。....

Asmo:

Asmo: Is that actually Japanese??

Levi: I can confirm that this in fact, is Japanese

Asmo: WHEN DID HE LEARN JAPANESE??

4K notes · View notes

tsukii0002 · 11 months

Text

Luke: *to the demon brothers* Humans are pure beings!!! full of light!!!

Meanwhile, in the distance.

Mc: *eating cheetos* Is he talking about the same human kind I belong to?

Solomon: *stealing them cheetos* I think so.

Mc: Wow, I have never felt less identifies.

Solomon: Same.

Solomon: ...

Mc:...

Solomon: I'm going to tell him.

Mc: *Putting their hand on his chest* shhhh he is too young, as soon as he stay for a while in the human word, he will ralize.

Solomon: Mc, Luke May be a child, but he is still an angel and has lived for hundreds of years.

Mc: And? That supports my point, I mean, it has only taken me twenty years of living there to know that we are a lost cause.

#obey me #obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me otome #obey me memes #obey me crack #obey me incorrect quotes #mc obey me #obey me mc #solomon obey me #obey me solomon #luke obey me #obey me luke #obey me humor

2K notes · View notes

leviathans-watching · 8 months

Note

request for obey me headcanons where luke treats the reader as their older sibling n gets protective of them ?

bonus points for scenting, where luke scents the reader w his familial scent (cause i do imagine that there are different types of scenting, familial, romantic n platonic n each smell different from one another) n will try to “purify” the reader by replacing the brothers scents w his own

protective luke

includes: luke & gn!reader, minor the brothers x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .4k | rated g | m.list

a/n: aww this was so cute tysm for requesting <3 my inbox is open to chat, leave feedback, and req so come say hi!!

please reblog <33333

“seriously,” luke huffs, pressing his cheek to your arm, “do you just let them hang all over you? their scents are everywhere!”

you let out an amused sigh. “well, i’m living with them, aren’t i? it’d be more strange if i didn’t have traces of their scent on me.”

“traces,” luke mutters. “right. and thanks for bringing living with them up so i don’t have to. you need to move out and come live with us immediately. we’re way better than those no-good demons anyway. and simeon is probably a much better cook than all seven combined.”

he’s not wrong, but admitting that would only increase his overprotectiveness dedication to protecting you.

“be careful what you say about demons down here,” you say mildly, and he rolls his eyes.

“bah! i don’t even get why you care for them so much! i worry about you, you know! who knows what schemes they’re cooking up!”

“i appreciate your concern,” you reply gently, meaning it, “and i know how much you don’t like the boys, but they’re my friends and i enjoy spending time with them. i care about them like you care about me.”

he scowls, blond hair falling in front of his eyes. “that’s unfortunate. fine! i’ll permit you to keep living with them, as long as you don’t let them touch you anymore. they’re not subtle about wanting to sink their claws into you!”

literally and metaphorically.

“i can’t promise that,” you say.

“but you always stink! well, not you,” he amends quickly, “but their scent on you does. that’s why i don’t want them touching you! they’re laying claim shamelessly and it’s disgusting!”

you hide a smile. he doesn’t need to know that that pleases you to hear.

“i’ve got it!” luke says suddenly, leaning across his bed and grabbing one of the many stuffed bears. he offers it to you. “this has got my scent all over it! this should help keep theirs at bay and help protect you. promise you’ll keep it with you?”

“i promise,” you say, taking the bear from him. he also doesn’t need to know that the boys barely register his scent, weak due to his lack of age and power, especially compared to theirs.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

665 notes · View notes

ad0rechuu · 1 year

Text

MY FRIENDS AS CAKES; A THREAD. ━━ OBEY ME p2

warnings. ━━━━━ mentions of food, swearing, death, all the fun stuff

masterlist | part one

notes. (solomon is younger than everyone but luke btw) i’m working on an ateez smau and a long form obey me series so enjoy this in the mean time ^_^ thank u for all the love on the previous part it was my first post so it’s been really lovely and overwhelming!! i’ll make a part three when the new character become official playables or i’ll just learn more about them because i’m only on lesson 60

1K notes · View notes

devildomsvixenmc · 1 year

Text

MC's Bedroom Door is Gone

MC: Why is my bedroom door done?

Lucifer: What do you mean your door is gone???

Leviathan: *mumbling* Scumbag Mammon.

Mammon: OI! watch what you're saying!

Satan: What, you think we don't think that you're the reason why their door is gone just because your close to MC?

Mammon: The fuck??? I'm being honest 'ere! It ain't me who removed their door!

Lucifer: Mammon. You know how my punishment goes.

Mammon: I fucking swear, IT'S NOT ME!

Leviathan: LOL, rage moment right there.

Lucifer: *sighs* Well, whoever it is that stole MC's door, know that your punishment awaits you.

MC (who removed their own door): *gulps*

Lucifer: Everyone is dismissed. MC, you shall stay in my room in the meantime.

-- a while later --

Diavolo: HAHAHAHAHA, oh MC, what you did there was very chaotic! A funny prank indeed!

MC: Well in all honesty, it's not like It's gonna change much.

Diavolo: Hmm? Why so?

MC (who's starting to get angry): Well because my bedroom isn't event a bedroom anymore! It's evolved into a COMMON ROOM! Instead of hanging out in the living room, EVERY ONE OF THEM GATHERS IN MY BEDROOM!

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me diavolo #obey me crack #obey me humor

537 notes · View notes

acaribeau · 1 year

Text

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me shall we date #obey me meme #obey me humor #obey me barbatos #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #like they just stepped on my babies

471 notes · View notes

meyobe · 10 months

Text

Human myths I think the Obey me brothers believe.

Lucifer: you’ll get cramps if you go swimming after eating.

Mammon:goldfish have 3 second memory (Levi hates him for it)

Levi:bananas grow on trees.

Satan:coin tosses are 50-50 chance

Asmo: touching a toad will give you warts

Beel: the moon is made of cheese

Belphie: takes seven years for your body to digest gum

#belphegor obey me #lucifer obey me #obey me shall we date #beelzebub obey me #satan obey me #obey me headcanons #leviathan obey me #mammon obey me #asmodeus obey me #obey me mc #obey me #obey me crack #obey me fluff #obey me humor

327 notes · View notes

nerdypostpatrol · 10 months

Text

After solomon try to cooking in the castle kitchen Solomon:"there he is,my judgement" Barbatos:*with murderous face* "you wretched wizard"

#obey me incorrect quotes #obey me shall we date #obey me solomon #obey me barbatos #obey me funny #obey me crack #obey me nb #obey me headcanons #obey me humor #obey me nightbringer

339 notes · View notes

cosmicstarlatte · 1 year

Text

pt.2

Lucifer: 'Demon of the Week' board? Seriously? I refuse to-

MC: Mammon already has two gold stars on the board.

Lucifer:

Lucifer: You know, I haven't scolded anyone today now that I think about it.

Lucifer: Surely...that warrants some sort of...adhesive of the star shaped variety?

MC (putting a star): Wow that is good coming from you. Good job Luci! ♡

Lucifer: (accidently purrs)

Lucifer: Ahem! Thank you.

#DEMON OF THE WEEK #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me shitpost #obey me humor #obey me crack #◇˖・ﾟ— › cosmic obey me . ⊹#shitpostcifer

6K notes · View notes

another-lost-mc · 1 year

Note

Hello! I'm a lover of beauty supply stores and I was wondering as to how the brothers would react being dragged to the beauty supply store with MC!

I love your work! Stay safe friend! Xo

Ooooh this was a fun idea to think about! I selected the brothers that inspired me the most, I hope that's okay! 💙

Shopping Together For Beauty Supplies Headcanons | LUCIFER, MAMMON, ASMODEUS and bonus BEELZEBUB 1k words | SFW | Fluff, implied established relationships (x gn!Reader), some suggestive comments

LUCIFER

If he’s going to spoil you keep you company while you shop for cosmetics, he’s going to insist on taking you to a higher-end store that appeals to his appreciation of quality and luxury

The sales associates find him attractive but they’re too intimidated to approach you to see if you need any help, so they sort of stand around and pretend not to stare as he walks with you through the aisles

He acts like makeup and skincare are beneath him, but he can point out human world brands he’s heard Asmodeus talk about, or he might pick up something if he thinks one of his brothers might enjoy it

If you like to shop for fragrance, he’ll let you pick something out for him to try; even if he doesn’t like the scent very much personally, he slips the largest bottle into the basket if you like it on him

He might pause to look at deep black mascara and eyeliner for himself - but this trip is about you, not him

If you don’t wear makeup, or if your usual style is a no-makeup look, he might be curious about what you would look like with a smoky eye or a more bold colour on the plush lips he loves to kiss so much

He doesn’t want to try and make you feel like you need to “do more” to be beautiful in his eyes; he prefers to watch you quietly and see what products interest you and what products you avoid

He wants to remember what you like to buy, so he can buy you more as gifts later, or make sure you have replacements ready when you eventually run out

No matter what you do, you’re always beautiful to him - and he’s going to tell you all the ways he can until you believe him

He distracts you with a kiss at the checkout so he can slip the cashier his credit card when you’re too busy to protest

“Why did you put this tube of mascara in the basket? I told you, I wasn’t looking at – oh, I see. ‘Better Than Sex,’ hmm? We’ll have test that for ourselves, won’t we?”

MAMMON

He’s always up for a shopping trip, especially if he’s not the one paying!

Browsing beauty and cosmetic shops interests him since it helps with his modeling gigs

He doesn’t mind experimenting with his hair or makeup style if it makes him look even better than he usually does

If he’s picking out things for himself, he’s always asking for your opinion - and even if you get a little bashful or blush or mumble that it’s “not bad” on him, he’s grinning and keeping note of all the things that seem to catch your eye

Even if he doesn’t want to admit it, he wants to look his best for you

If you’re shopping for yourself, he’s going to find a way to compliment almost anything you pick out - he doesn’t mind being honest with you like this when it’s just the two of you

But if you show him something that he finds particularly fetching - he might be stunned speechless just long enough for you to notice (and yes, whatever it was that caused that reaction in him, he’s 100% going to insist you add to your basket)

He dyes the tips of his hair yellow sometimes, but if you comment another colour might look good on him too - well, don’t be surprised if he happens to pick up some to try

You’ll help him with the hair dye later, right? It was your idea, after all!

Yes, he knows he can use magic to do that, but why would he pass up the chance of having your hands on him? Your hands in his hair, massaging his scalp - he can hardly wait

If he managed to knick Lucifer’s credit card (or save Goldie), then he’s offering to pay - and you just go ahead and pick up whatever you like, his treat!

If he’s flat broke, he’s giving you puppy eyes with a promise to pay you back later

“Oi! This lipstick says it’s kiss-proof. What colour do ya like? I think we should buy one as an experiment. You know, for science.”

ASMODEUS

Oh, you better not go too close to closing because he’s going to be browsing for a long time

He will walk through all the aisles, open testers to swatch colours on himself (and you, don’t even think he’s not going to spoil you on this little trip)

You’re not there to buy “just one or two things,” don’t kid yourself

There are so many new brands and product releases for Asmo to try and keep caught up on, he’s always pointing out things that are new, products that have changed or maybe ones he noticed aren’t being sold anymore

He’s going to ask you opinion on a lot of things, even the items he buys for himself - especially if they’re things he wants to share with you, like his body care or bath products

Don’t even get him started on the nail polish

You know he’s been saving Devilgram videos of the newest trending nail looks, and he’s going to buy the supplies he needs to test them out - on him and you, of course

He’s buying nail polish to match whatever the trend is, plus some cute seasonal colours, and if any catch your eye, he’s throwing those in the (overflowing, exceedingly heavy) shopping basket(s) you’re carrying

Sometimes he buys things that remind him of you - nail polish the colour of your eyes, blush the same colour as your skin when it’s warm from his bath, lipstick the same colour of your lips after he’s kissed you breathless

He’s happy to buy literally bags' worth of items - but don’t be surprised when he whines about having to help carry them home after

“I hope you don’t have anything planned later! I think we could both use some pampering. Don’t worry if you get sleepy after, there’s room in my bed for both of us.”

BEELZEBUB

He went with you once

He’s not allowed to go shopping with you at the beauty supply store anymore

“Why does so much makeup smell like dessert foods? I thought we walked into a bakery, sorry about that.”

#obey me demon brothers #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #asmodeus x reader #beelzebub x reader #obey me x reader #omswd x reader #obey me x mc #obey me x you #x reader #obey me humor #obey me suggestive #obey me fanfic #omswd fanfic #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #gn!reader

435 notes · View notes