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atimeofyourlife · 10 months

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Steve being the one who is actually a fountain of queer knowledge because he has a gay uncle in San Francisco or New York, one of the cities that had the biggest queer communities.

Robin not having much information because she's a closeted teenage lesbian who can't drive, so she has nowhere to source that information without raising the suspicions of her parents.

Eddie doesn't have the chance because he can't afford to spend weekends in Indianapolis or Chicago, because weekends mean parties, and parties are one of the best times to deal. He might go occasionally, but just hitting up a bar to find a dude to hook up with, not getting into queer theory because he doesn't really care to. He doesn't bother to learn about hanky code or anything else, because he's not interested. All he's interested in is getting a little action.

But Steve? He spent a lot of time with his uncle, Hank, while growing up. Anytime his family was in the area, they would stay with Hank. Sure, Steve's parents would try to explain his partner, Joe, as a friend or a roommate, but Steve always knew. He could see how in love they were, even more than his parents.

It became normal for him. He heard the words that other people would throw around, how they would talk about how dangerous, how disgusting two men together was. But he couldn't understand why people thought so badly about it. Because Hank and Joe were so happy together and they weren't hurting anyone.

When he was twelve, they were the first people he told when he had the conflicting feelings of having a crush on a pretty girl named Annika in the grade above, but also really wanting to kiss Tommy every time the other boy laughed at one of his jokes. Joe and Hank just listened to him, then taught him about bisexuality. That it was perfectly normal to like both. They gave him gentle warnings, that he would have to be careful because people were cruel.

And because his parents had left him with them for a couple of weeks, they took advantage of it to introduce Steve to other people. They took him to a tiny queer bookshop that was run by a friend of theirs, giving him a space to learn in safety. Because of them, he met people of so many different orientations lesbians, bisexuals, gay men. Self-proclaimed dykes and faggots. Transexuals, men who were once women and women who were once men¹ and people that pushed the boundaries of gender entirely. He felt in awe of all these people, but also loved and accepted by everyone he met.

A few years later, the summer of '82, age 15 and between freshman and sophomore year, he was sat down for a more serious conversation. The day after he arrived, Hank and Joe sat him down for a serious talk about safe sex, in way more detail than what he got from his parents, which was just a pack of condoms appearing in his bathroom on his fifteenth birthday, with a note saying to use them so he wouldn't get a girl pregnant. The talk emphasized the need for a barrier during any type of sex, and brought up the very real risk of GRID, which had yet to be renamed AIDS², to point out why he had to be incredibly careful with everyone he had sex with. But they also made a point to reassure him that they were both okay, that he didn't have to worry about them. They made sure that he knew that they were always there for him, just a phone call away if he ever had any concerns or questions.

A year later, at 16, they decided he was ready for more information. They provided him with pamphlets and zines, covering everything from rights movements to AIDS to secret codes. He took an interest in the hanky code, but felt a little intimidated about what some of the colors meant. They also provided him with a fake id that declared that he was twenty one and that his name was Mark. While he was staying with them, he joined them out in the community. Meeting the people affected by AIDS, learning about the real effects of it and not just the few scare stories that were breaking through on the news. Hearing more stories of lived life, getting a better understanding of the people around him.

Just a few months later, November '83. When everything went to shit. Steve was terrified when he saw the photos Jonathan had taken from outside his house and developed in the school dark room. He couldn't help getting stuck on the what if? What if it wasn't Nancy he had in his room? What if it had been that night when he and Tommy got a little too drunk and kissed each other? What if he'd finally got the nerve to bring a guy home? His life could have been destroyed in seconds by an asshole being a creep.

He became more on guard, scared that at any point someone could be taking photos in his backyard. Then seeing Jonathan with Nancy in her room, it pushed him further. With the fight the next day, he just wanted to make his words hurt. He dug deep and threw out accusations that he'd never wanted to say. Allowing his anger and fear to take over. The moment the word queer left his mouth, he felt an uneasy sense of regret. Accusing someone else of being what he was, as if it was a bad thing.

After it was all over, the details were shared, the cover stories were given, the paperwork declaring that nothing had happened had been signed, Steve felt lost and alone. Even after apologizing, he still felt dirty for calling Jonathan queer. After a few days, he breaks and calls Hank and Joe, and tells them, well not everything, but what he can. The photos, the camera, the fight. What he said to Jonathan. They understood his anger and his fear. They disagreed with his choice of words, but told him that if he'd apologized and meant it, and it had been accepted, there was no point in him continuing to beat himself up about it. That he couldn't change the past, but he had to try and be better in the future.

The following summer, 1984, he joined them with a new hatred and fear of the government. He felt safer with them, not feeling like he was looking over his shoulder all the time. But he was also so worried, what if the Upside Down came back when he wasn't there to help. He threw himself into helping others, knowing there were so many ways that the government was willing to screw over citizens. Wanting to do the little he could when he could. It brought him some peace of mind, being able to do something.

After Starcourt, after getting discharged from the hospital, Steve confides in Robin. He tells her about Hank and Joe. About how much he'd learnt from them. He tells her that he's bisexual, a word she was unfamiliar with, but she embraces him anyway. He spins a story of all the different people he'd met, people that proved it could be okay for people like them.

It formed an even deeper bond between them, a shared understanding that they couldn't find in anyone else their age. They share secrets about crushes, about realizations. Judging how attractive customers are together once they got the jobs at Family Video. Steve showed Robin the zines, helping her pick up more pieces of information, about how many others there were out there.

Steve clocked Vickie pretty quickly, almost certain she was bisexual like he was. Robin struggled to believe him, not wanting to get her hopes up, or to risk getting hurt.

When Eddie crashed into their lives during the spring break from hell, Steve found himself falling hard and fast. He'd noticed the black bandana Eddie wore tucked into his back left pocket, and wanted it. He had never considered being into s&m, but would be willing to take anything Eddie gave him.

He tried to bring it up subtly to Eddie, only to be met with confusion. Even trying less subtle ways of questioning it, Eddie still didn't seem to get it. Steve had to ask if he was flagging, and Eddie responded by asking what flagging was. Steve felt mortified, and stuttered about it being a code, and he thought Eddie was gay. Eddie assured him that he was gay, but still had no clue what Steve was talking about with flagging.

Steve showed Eddie the zines as well, going through all the different colors of the hanky code. Eddie got a little embarrassed when he realized what he'd been signalling, but some of the interactions he'd had with guys the few times he'd been to a gay bar made a lot more sense.

It took a few more days after that for Eddie to realize what Steve had been getting at by bringing up him flagging. There was another awkward, and slightly embarrassing conversation to confirm that yes, they were into each other, and no, neither of them were actually into s&m.

(And of course, Hank and Joe got a kick out of the story when they were the first ones Steve told, other than Robin.)

¹I wrote it this way, as it would have been a way that twelve year old could understand different gender identities in 1979. Different language and terminology was used. I believe that it is up to individual trans people for how they describe and consider themselves pre and post coming out and transition, as it is a very personal thing. I'm non-binary and I consider anything about myself under the age of 17 to be a girl, because that's how I identified at that time. ²(AIDS was known by a bunch of different names, some less kind than others, including GRID [Gay-related immune deficiency] and 4H disease [Heroin users, homosexuals, hemophiliacs and Haitians], until the summer of 1982. The name AIDS was proposed on July 27th 1982, and came into use by the CDC in September of that year. The term HIV came into use in 1986.)

This was supposed to be a quick little headcanon, and it ended up taking me nearly a month to write 1.5k words. And I now want to write so many parts about Steve with his relationship to Hank and Joe. They're the gay uncles everyone deserves.

#steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #platonic stobin #steddie #pre steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve x eddie #atimeofyourwrites

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flowerandblood · 2 months

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Glass Cuts Deepest Epilogue

[ professor! • Aemond x student! • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, smut, angst, trauma, mention of sexual harassment and panic attacks, the power of fluff ]

[ description: Aemond and Wright have a year of their relationship behind them, full of joy, but also difficult situations for them, related to demons from his past. Despite this, they find their own ways to live normally and happily. Aemond, jealous that Cregan is now her professor, decides to find out if the girl who changed his life still loves him. Sexual tension, childhood traumas and sweet fluff. ]

This oneshot is the events that take place one year after Glass Cuts Deepest Series. This is a special chapter written to celebrate my one year on this platform, which falls on March 22.

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

My other works: Masterlist

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When a year had passed since he and Wright had officially announced that they were together, he was relieved to find that his panic attacks had almost disappeared, and if they did occur, they no longer involved vomiting and convulsions, causing only discomfort and a feeling of tightness in his stomach.

Wright was perfectly capable of recognising its symptoms, spotting instantly when he froze or turned pale, not touching him at the time, just asking quietly if he needed a moment alone or if he would like her to embrace him.

More and more often he wanted to simply cuddle up to her, so he would then ask her to let him, but not to touch him herself. He would then draw her close and sink his face into her neck, taking in her wonderful scent, listening to her breathing until he calmed down.

"− I'm sorry −" He mumbled then, ashamed that, as usual, he thought he had got it over with, that it was so good after all. He fought then against the grim thoughts that he would never be normal, that she had to live with someone who didn't cope, who was constantly afraid.

"− don't apologise −" She whispered softly, resting her cheek on his head, playing with the fingers of her hand, waiting patiently for him to be able to function normally again.

"− I'm glad that now when you feel unwell, you don't feel discomfort when I'm close − it's very important to me −" She said warmly, kissing his hair, and he felt his muscles relax slowly − the fact that she never made sudden movements, never tried to embrace him against his will, made him feel safe.

She respected the fact that he knew for himself what was good for him and what he needed, and she never forced him into anything − on the contrary, she always carefully studied his barriers.

Once when she showed him a picture of a nightgown, finding it lovely and pretty, white, lacy and strapless, of slippery, shiny material − he turned pale and shook his head quickly, looking away, seeing her enter his room then, what she was wearing was all too similar in his mind, a cold sweat on his back.

"− oh, I'm sorry − I won't show you this kind of things anymore − I just − I'd like to buy myself some nice pyjamas − the kind you'd like −" She muttered, looking up at him, turning on the couch − he sighed quietly, rubbing her bare legs that rested on his thighs.

"− I like it when you wear my Tshirts − nothing turns me on more −" He hummed, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, seeing her blush as she lay dressed in his black shirt covering her thighs − he knew she had nothing but panties underneath, just the way he liked it.

"− oh −" She mumbled quietly, embarrassed, pretending to scroll something further on her phone.

Since he had left the university and focused on his own studio, he felt that the immense frustration that had been with him all those years, of having to deal with strange women, having to constantly explain his decisions and apologise for the way he was, had left him.

In his new workshop, more spacious and brighter than the one he had worked in before, he felt free, and the only girl who was allowed inside was Wright.

Sometimes he couldn't help himself and would ask her how Cregan was doing in his job, seeing that she was progressing more and more each month, jealous that now someone else was her professor − she was spending a lot of time in class which was hard for him to come to terms with after they had spent so much time in each other's company up to that point.

"He is a really good teacher. He has a lot of patience and explains complicated things so that they seem simple, or he shows us something by doing it himself and we can watch." She said lightly, standing beside him, helping him cut out templates for his new commission, which he was working on with some of his former students he had hired. He hit the side of her cheek with the tip of his tongue, impatient for some reason.

"That's good." He replied dispassionately, feeling her cast him a quick glance upon hearing the tone of his voice, leaning lower to bend forward and look at his face.

"Are you jealous, Professor?" She hummed softly and he pressed his lips together, recognising that he hadn't given a shit, that he'd wanted to do this for a long time.

She squealed quietly as he grabbed her by the arm and turned her around facing the backlit table − his hands slid her panties down in a swift, sure movement, leaving her in a state of shock, his hand on the nape of her neck forced her to bend over. The material of her dress lifted slightly, revealing her naked buttocks − he noticed out of the corner of his eye her puffy entrance, glistening from her wetness.

She was his Eve, and although neither of them had ever completely undressed, and he wasn't sure he would ever be able to do so or endure such a sight without the memories overwhelming him, the sight of her partial nudity no longer frightened him, for her body was his temple, pure, warm and safe.

"− I've been thinking about this ever since I met you − you don't even know how many times I've stood over you barely restraining myself from fucking you good on a table like this −" He breathed out, quickly unzipping his trousers, lowering them a tad once with his boxers, not waiting a moment, forcing the swollen head of his cock between her swollen, weeping folds.

"− wider − that's it − fuck − are you okay? −" He muttered, casting her an uncertain look after he thrust deeper into her, sliding all the way in, her tight walls resisting him as he hadn't prepared her for this as well as usual.

"− y-yes − keep going − just − take it slow −" She mumbled softly, and he hummed under his breath, leaning down, placing his hands on either side of her on the backlit top of his table on which he usually cut glass, his lips pressed against her long, perfumed neck as his hips began to rock slowly inside her, barely sliding out of her without any rush, letting her walls get used to his size.

"− so warm − fuck, baby −" He gasped out, hearing her first shy moans, feeling his cock slide into her with increasing ease, slick with her moisture, her muscles began to throb around him, squeezing him − he looked down, watching as he opened her wide with deep, sure thrusts of his hips.

"− please, Professor − please −" She mewled and he sighed loudly; she knew how it affected him, she knew how much it aroused him − he involuntarily picked up his pace, his thighs began to slam against her buttocks with loud splats, all around them just their panting and the sticky clicks of her leaking wetness.

"− you have no shame − begging for your Professor's cock − is this how you got good grades at university? huh? − you like it when they fuck you well? −" He sneered, clamping his hands over her bare buttocks, letting go of control completely, allowing his subconscious to take over him and his movements, his pushes faster and more aggressive, rubbing her where she needed it. She leaned back on her palms against the table top, responding to his thrusts by rocking her hips, her hot, wet muscles sucking him inside with her moans of delight.

"− n-no − I work so hard −" She muttered frightened, as if some part of her really believed he could think that about her − he chuckled under his breath, running his hand through her hair, pounding into her so fast and deep that he was no longer sliding out of her with loud slaps of skin against skin.

"− I can see how hard you're working − how much it costs you to fit it in −" He scoffed, and she whimpered at his words, responding more and more eagerly to his thrusts, his knee spreading her thighs wider, forcing her to bend over again with her loud gasp of exertion.

"− I-I'm sorry − I promise I'll be good already, I promise, I promise, I promise −" She mewled, moaning low as he felt her muscles begin to throb in orgasm, her body arching backwards. He embraced her around the waist, his other hand gripping her cheeks, his lips pressed against hers in an aggressive, greedy, hot kiss as, after a few sloppy, messy thrusts, he came deep inside her with a heavy sigh of delight.

"− I know − my sweet little girl, am I right? −" He gasped, panting loudly along with her, embracing her tightly from behind, nuzzling his cheek against hers, her hands clasped around his arms, stroking them steadily, his half-hard manhood still twitching deep inside her.

"− yes −" She mumbled, burying her face in his cheek, as she always did after their rapprochement, needing his closeness and the tenderness he never denied her.

"− you don't think of him that way, do you? −" He asked quietly, ashamed of his insecurity, of his own fear and imaginings, of the fact that someone else, someone better could easily take his place at her side when he needed her so much, loved her so much.

"− oh, no, silly − I never felt anything like that before you − I think I was in love with you long before I realised it −" She said warmly, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, a sweet, girlish smile full of tenderness on her lips that melted his heart, his confirmation that all was well.

"− yes − yes, me too −" He murmured, leaning lower, placing warm, wet kisses on her face. He began to wonder intensely if the ring he had chosen for her, which lay tucked deep in one of his drawers where he kept his designs was still there, and if he would be a complete idiot to propose to her now.

After a moment he decided that yes, he would be a complete idiot and sighed quietly, smiling involuntarily under his breath, sliding out of her gently. He helped her put her panties back on over her buttocks, then zipped up his trousers, looking at her out of the corner of his eye − she turned to face him, all red from exertion, her eyes big, her breathing still slightly accelerated.

"Take me today to the church where you first saw the stained glass windows. You told me that story once, I think you mentioned that your father took you there." He said softly and she blinked, curious, cocking her head, leaning her palms against the edge of the table.

"Alright, why not, Professor. Where did you suddenly get this idea?" She asked cheerfully, excitedly, and he snorted under his breath.

"You'll see."

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strangertheories · 11 months

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I've been seeing people saying that platonic Stobin is only benefitting Steve or that Robin only exists to redeem Steve from past homophobia and I'd like to politely disagree. I don't think enough people realise just how crucial their friendship was to Robin's character development outside of Steve, so I'll just spell it out here in this long post for the four year anniversary of Robin coming out to Steve.

At the start of S3, Robin is deeply sarcastic and jokingly rude, but this is not entirely what she is actually like deep down and the true Robin doesn't emerge until her and Steve are talking to each other in the bunker. She says that she acts like she doesn't care and that she floats above it all (in reference to popularity) but deep down, she just wants to feel normal and accepted.

But Robin knows she could never be accepted fully because of her attraction to women. If she acts like she doesn't care and holds Steve at an arm's length, it keeps her safe. Robin can't be rejected if she doesn't let him in. She doesn't believe anyone could ever be friends with her if they knew her secrets, so constructs this personality around herself, however deep down she is just insecure and struggling with internalised homophobia.

A lot of people talk about Robin's coming out scene, rightfully so, but I think we need to talk more about what happened before. When Steve tells Robin he's attracted to her, she looks devastated. With her guard let down after a near death experience and drugs, she was finally able to bond with someone who she now has to reject.

At first, she tries to talk Steve out of liking her. She tells him that he doesn't know the real her and that if he did, not only would be not want to date her, but he wouldn't even want to be her friend. This is where it all becomes clear that Robin's sarcasm and refusal to let her guard down is not linked to her sexuality but rather because of it.

This is why Steve accepting her is so crucial for her character from then onwards. For the first time in her life, Robin let someone see her true self, knowing that she would be rejected and lose her only friend. And yet she wasn't. Robin let Steve in and his acceptance finally enabled her to realise that just because she is gay it doesn't mean that she's abnormal or could never be happy. Obviously, there are safety concerns that prevent her from running through the streets of Hawkins with a pride flag, but I believe this acceptance is crucial to the version of Robin we see in S4.

After S4, there were a lot of complaints that the Robin we saw in that season wasn't like S3 enough and felt like a completely different character. Firstly, Robin was shown to speed talk, be unhelpful and miss social ques when nervous in the final episode of season 3, so I disagree with that criticism. But most importantly, the reason that S4 Robin is different to the one in S3 is because S3 Robin was never real. It was a character she built in order to avoid dealing with the pain of rejection or accepting that she cares about what other people think of her. But due to Steve, Robin is able to realise that she doesn't have to be someone else, hence her personality shift.

That's also kind of why I dislike the idea that her relationships with Nancy and Vickie are better than her one with Steve because she wouldn't have had those relationships if it wasn't for him. Steve enabled her to open up and let down her cool and sarcastic persona. Robin is anxious and awkward with Nancy and Vickie from the get go unlike with Steve, which ends up enabling her to ultimately make more real bonds with them much quicker. She would not have been able to do that if it wasn't for the value his acceptance brought into her life.

I'm going to get a bit mushy and personal here, so feel free to skip to the end, but platonic Stobin isn't just meaningful to the fictional character of Robin. I'm an autistic lesbian and I have had a lot of struggles with making and maintaining friendships. For a while, I didn't have any friends at all and I was very depressed. But now my mental health is so much better because I was able to find a friend who fully accepted me, who I didn't have to mask around, who I easily came out to. Becoming friends with her has enabled me to become way more comfortable with unmasking my autism outside of that one relationship because being more vulnerable is what enabled that friendship to be so much better in the long term.

Robin is a character I relate to a lot, and I've written a lot of posts on autistic Robin in the past. I think seeing friendships portrayed on screen where a girl is able to let down her mask, learn to become herself and become much less distant to the point that she explicitly feels comfortable telling someone she has issues with social ques is great for all kids. So many people, especially autistic people, struggle with being themselves and with finding friends. Maybe Robin did just exist to redeem Steve or whatever, but I know seeing that friendship on screen meant a lot to me. It's so difficult to find someone who accepts you and to open up to someone, but I think that platonic Stobin shows that it can be worth it.

Sorry for the mushy side tangent at the end, but I hope this post explains the importance of Steve's acceptance to Robin's character development. Acting like she only exists for Steve is dismissive of the impact that friendship had on the development Robin has and will have, especially if you view Rebel Robin as being somewhat canon. Not to mention, clarifying a loveable character is no longer homophobic feels like a pretty good thing.

#long post #stranger things #robin buckley #steve harrington #platonic stobin #ronance #rovickie #autistic robin buckley #byler #<- target audience

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transforming · 10 months

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Dane's Unexpected Vacation

Here's a little something I put together, as a commission for @tf-lover, who's been such an amazing friend of mine in the TF community, with a shoutout to his amazing work and his collaborations with @mrwavellswaps! Enjoy!

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It had been a particularly long week for Dane De Bruin.

It was nearly a year ago when his life changed forever, from being a skinny young teacher who was tired of his life and having to deal with annoying teenagers, to a bona fide magical hunk, and now having a boyfriend in the form of the marvelous Mr Wavell. That was a whirlwind, magic carpet ride of a journey all on its own, not only becoming such a stud but also discovering he probably had powers of his own. Dane worked and trained with Mr Wavell, in the real world and in their home in the pocket dimension, to figure out what magic he has deep within him, as he channeled Wavell’s powers to help others find true happiness and fulfill their hidden desires.

He knew that loads of guys had a kink for soft, squishy pecs like his, and as much as he could make money appear from the snap of his fingers, he also thought about the thousands of pounds he could earn just from showing off his man-tits. That said, he began venturing into social media, posting at least once a week on Instagram for thirsty fans who’d be willing to pay him anything to support him, and even send him cute drawings that would especially highlight his knockers. It got a kick out of him, and in a way, he was helping people feel satisfied and fulfilled, and he was feeling great about that.

On top of all that, most recently he had been helping out Mr Wavell collect testimonials on the Homo Bomb he had dropped on the town of Bellmare, dividing up their research across the town’s residents. It was quite fascinating to see how the magical bomb changed the townspeople, varying from the simple change of straight men turning gay, already gay men turning into their fantasies or crushes, to the rare anomalies of women becoming men. The beach town was definitely a notable case study for the books, and it was worth examining on how happy people could be with the help of sudden magic being dropped upon them, all thanks to his boyfriend.

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However, in the past few days, Dane started to notice that he was getting quite tired, and it threw off everything he had been doing. He felt less motivated to go to the gym, and without a nice enough pump to show off, he delayed posting anything new on Instagram. Even channeling Wavell’s magic for his own use has been more strenuous than normal, and with Wavell busy collecting his side of testimonies from Bellmare, they haven’t had much time to themselves: whether it was to have a bit of fun in the bedroom, to work on strengthening Dane’s magical abilities, or simply to have lunch together. It was similar to the draining feeling he experienced long before when he was a teacher, dealing with these pesky kids who didn’t listen to him, or dealing with an admin that ignored his needs for support in the classroom – except that he was drained from everything that he enjoyed doing as Dane.

As much as he hated to admit it, Dane knew he was being stretched thin, and that he was on the verge of majorly burning out. He was in desperate need of a break. One day, when he finally mustered up enough courage, he eventually sat down with his boyfriend.

“Wavell, babe, I need to talk to you,” Dane said, looking forlorn and exhausted.

Wavell walked over from the kitchen with two glasses of red wine in his hand, handing one to his lover. “What is it, Dane?” he asked as they both sat down.

Dane sighed. “It’s been so amazing spending time with and falling in love with you babe. I’ve loved every moment we’ve spent together, and honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. The magic, our relationship and getting to channel your magic, the sex…” Dane chuckled a bit. “Even this Homo Bomb has been crazy interesting to observe.”

Wavell smiled and wrapped his arm around Dane’s waist as he took a sip of his pinot. “And I love you so much, baby. I still can’t believe you’re my boyfriend after all this time. How long has it been? What, nearly ten months since I made you into Dane?”

“Yeah, just about.” Dane smiled, as he took a sip of his wine. “I love you too, babe. Like I said, everything we’ve done together has made me feel so much happier, and life feels so worthwhile with you…” Dane paused, hesitating for a moment, but enough for Wavell to notice.

“I can sense a ‘but’ coming in,” Wavell said, kissing Dane’s cheek. “Dane, don’t worry, you know you can always tell me anything.”

Dane sighed once more, as he slumped his shoulders and finished his glass of wine in one gulp. “I can’t exactly pinpoint why, but I’m just feeling really drained. I’ve noticed it in the little things. Not feeling enough hype to work out, I don’t feel as strong as I know I could be after all our training and after using your powers, and in general I just feel a bit tired.”

Wavell looked down, thinking about it for a moment. In his experience, he knew that magic was enough to keep one energetic and dynamic, but he’d also heard enough stories of other warlocks and possessors of magic to know that not getting enough rest and relaxation could completely destroy their magic and revert them back to what they used to be, or even worse, drain them out of existence. A few of his own friends had disappeared in the past. He pulled Dane close, kissed him softly, and let him rest his head on his lap,

“You definitely need some R&R, Dane,” Wavell replied, smiling sweetly as he caressed Dane’s hair. “Your powers are still relatively new, and I don’t want to see you completely drained out when you’re still growing them to their full potential.”

Dane felt tears well up in his eyes, and after a deep breath, he felt them stream down his cheeks. “I know, babe. I just… I didn’t wanna let you down.” Dane sniffled, while Wavell rubbed his V-tapered back, comforting him.

“You’ll never let me down, babe. Never. But you shouldn’t ever be ashamed to tell me you’re tired, or to ask for a break when you need one.” Wavell wiped the tears from Dane’s cheeks, as he ran his hand down Dane’s arm to calm him.

Wavell smirked as he lifted Dane’s head off his lap and embraced him. “You deserve this break. And luckily, I know just the guy to help you out.”

Dane raised an eyebrow. “Who is this guy?”

Wavell chuckled. “His name’s Drew, and he runs this new resort where magicians like us can go to relax. It’s a new venture he’s exploring, an idea that came to him when he was taking a break of his own after running Transformation College years ago.”

Dane’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘The guy who created Transformation College is back?’, he thought. “I thought he’d disappeared long ago. He’s around again?”

Wavell nodded. “Yep, he’s back, and he’s hoping, since he’s running a resort, he can take it a bit easier than last time. The college really burnt him out,” he chuckled, “but I think Drew’s Transformational Resort could benefit you. Plus, knowing him well, he’ll cover all your expenses.”

Dane smiled, and kissed his lover with a renewed passion. “I fucking love you Wavell.”

“And I love you more, Dane. You deserve a break, and don’t worry about the Homo Bomb testimonies, I can cover that. For now, all you need to do is relax, yeah?” Wavell smiled brightly. The couple got up and headed towards the front door. Holding hands, they stepped out of the house and towards a little tropical hut with a bamboo door on the eastern end of Wavell’s pocket dimension. “Here we are. Just straight through that door and you’ll be at the resort.”

As he held the doorknob, Dane looked into Wavell’s eyes one last time and held his hand. “I’m gonna miss you. I wish you could come with me,” his voice quivered as he said that to his lover.

“I’m gonna miss you too, babe. But I know if I’m gonna be there, you might not be able to recuperate fully, considering we still don’t know what your magical powers are, if you have any. Plus, I don’t know if we’d even be able to relax at all with how much sex we’d have,” Wavell chuckled. He squeezed Dane’s hand once more, kissing him softly, before Dane opened the door and entered through.

-----

Once he was fully through, he was quickly blinded by a bright white light. Dane closed his eyes tightly, then when he opened them again, he found himself on the shore of a pristine white beach, on a secluded island completely surrounded by miles and miles of ocean. He could feel the water wade between toes, and the sand stick to his soles, as he looked around, the door to Wavell’s dimension nowhere to be seen. He then noticed that he was shirtless and just wearing a pair of beach shorts, which surprised him. “Woah, this is trippy,” he muttered to himself as he walked off the beach onto the grass further in, seeing a collection of small beachside villas, two larger buildings, and what appeared to be a lobby, where a young, shirtless and handsome stud stood behind a desk, holding a small flower in hand.

Dane walked over to the desk, but before he could speak, the young hunk turned and smiled. “Dane De Bruin?” he asked.

Dane stepped back. “H-how did you know?”

The handsome stud, who looked around college age, smirked. “Wavell told me everything before you arrived.” Dane chuckled, Wavell was always one step ahead of him. “I’m Drew, by the way,” the himbo-looking stud said, reaching out his hand for Dane to shake.

Dane reciprocated the handshake. “Pleasure to meet you, Drew. Did Wavell already tell you why I’m here?” he replied. Drew simply nodded, and quickly turned around to grab a passion fruit tequila welcome cocktail for Dane, handing it to him.

“We offer a lot of services, but our main purpose here at Drew’s Transformational Resort is magical rejuvenation, helping magicians such as yourself regain control over your powers, and come back feeling relaxed and reborn,” Drew smirked naughtily as he spoke. Luckily, Dane didn’t notice. Drew led Dane down a small, rustic path through the resort, passing by the restaurant and then the spa, all of it looked amazing and luxurious. They stopped at a villa, and Drew opened the door. It was a simple space, but a beautiful one too: a king-sized bed with an extremely soft coconut mattress that felt like sleeping on a cloud; an outdoor shower surrounded by a wall filled with orchid vines; a door that led to the back porch, which had its own swimming pool and jacuzzi; and further out, Dane’s own little cove, which was surrounded by coconut palms and hibiscus trees. It was all spectacularly beautiful.

“Wow,” Dane said, blown away by it all.

“I really worked hard on curating unique experiences for all my guests,” Drew replied, smiling as Dane walked around his villa and took it all in. “And first on the agenda for your Ultimate Relaxation and Rejuvenation package is a whole spa day.”

Dane turned and beamed at Drew. “Lead the way then Drew. I’m so excited for this.”

Drew smiled back and handed Dane his key card for the villa, before he led the way back up the path to the spa. As he looked around, Dane noticed a staff member at the hotel that looked like Drew. Then another one that drove a buggy. And then another at the front desk of the spa. The Drew working at the spa chuckled. “Yep, this whole resort is run by me.”

Dane laughed, impressed. “That’s amazing. So you could basically clone yourself?”

Spa-Drew nodded as he took things from Reception-Drew, leading Dane into a massage room. Dane quickly stripped out of his beach shorts and hopped onto the massage bed, while Spa-Drew placed a pair of AirPods into his ears, which began to play calming jazz music, canceling out all the noise and letting Dane doze off to sleep as Spa-Drew got to work. Once he knew that Dane was completely asleep, thanks to the binaural beats he added to keep Dane asleep in a deep trance, Drew took out a magical kit of essential oils, ointments, scrubs and tools. He smirked, and opened the bottle of plumeria essential oil.

Rubbing some between his hands, Drew began massaging Dane, kneading his back muscles and defining them even more till they were shredded. Reaching his shoulders, Drew built up Dane’s traps, and broadened his shoulders just a bit, his hands defining Dane’s delts, then worked his way down his arms and sculpting them like clay, defining them even further till they looked more youthful and strong. As Drew rubbed the oil all over Dane through the massage, a golden sun-kissed tan began to seep across Dane’s body, washing out his pale white skin until it looked like he spent a lot of time at the beach, and all his body hair receded, leaving him smooth and supple like a baby.

Drew smirked as he peeled off the towel that covered Dane’s ass. Lathering his cheeks up with more oil, he massaged them and rounded them up till they were bubbly yet firm with muscle. Finishing up the backside, Drew knuckled down on Dane’s thighs, shaping them till they were like well-defined tree trunks, and softly pressed on his calves till they gained a more aesthetic diamond shape. Upon reaching his feet, Drew squeezed every part –stretching Dane’s toes, knuckling his soles and pressing his ankles, till Dane’s feet shrunk by just a bit to accommodate his now slightly shorter stature.

Drew took a good look at Dane’s backside before turning him over, lifting Dane up with ease as if he were a paper doll. Once Dane was fully turned around, Drew chuckled as he continued pouring more oil all over Dane’s body. Fondling Dane’s pecs, Drew squeezed the soft, supple man-tits till the hairs receded and the pecs were more sculpted and firm with muscle, then worked down on his abs and sculpted each one till the ridges were sharply defined and looked like a washboard. Since the legs were technically done, Drew simply ran his oiled-up hands over the quads and shins, which caused any remaining leg hairs to completely disappear, then lifted up Dane’s arms to pour a strong, musky oil into it, rubbing it into his pits until the rest of his body began emanating the same intense smell.

Dane’s body was completely transformed, from looking like a big muscular Daddy to a young bodybuilder physique, but Drew wasn’t quite done yet. He smirked as he lifted the still-sleeping Dane across the room to a parlor chair, then grabbing the rest of his tools. First things first, Drew applied some shaving cream onto Dane’s face, massaging it deep into his jaw, then pulled out a razor and began shaving off all of Dane’s stubble and precious mustache. No stubble or facial hair was left behind, as Drew left Dane’s face squeaky clean like a baby. Grabbing the aftershave, he mixed it with some of the plumeria oil and massaged it into Dane’s face. It began to reshape, as his skin began to pull tighter as it regained its youth, pulling Dane back a few years in appearance till it looked like he was in his mid-20s, but the aftershave prevented him from growing any facial hair again.

As he kept up his work, Drew massaged the upper part of Dane’s face, the golden tan creeping up and washing his face, as Drew reshaped Dane’s eyes to have a more almond-like, distinctly Asian shape, while plucking out his eyebrows to define them further and make them look less bushy. Carefully, Drew opened Dane’s eyes and popped in a pair of dark brown, permanent contacts, and pierced Dane’s ears with simple silver diamond studs, making him look even more youthful. Finally, Drew pulled out a pair of scissors, a shaver and a comb, and cut off Dane’s luscious locks till his hair was shorter, with tapered fades on the sides, like a jock’s type of haircut, then topped it off by rubbing some coconut oil into hi hair until Dane’s rich brown waves turned jet black and straight. Dane was too deep in slumber to notice anything amiss, or even feel what was going on, he just felt very relaxed.

Once it was all finished, within just an hour of Dane’s arrival at the resort, Spa-Drew handed Dane over to one of the other Drews, who took him back to his villa, and dressed him up in a tank top, gym shorts and sneakers, and pulled out the AirPods. The magic of the massage and the oils Drew used had definitely rejuvenated him, and had helped rebuild the strength of his magical powers, but gave him a completely new appearance.

It was around sunset when Dane finally woke up, feeling plenty rested after having slept for most of the day. He smiled. “Fuck me, that –” Dane shut his mouth. His voice. It sounded different. Younger, for sure, but it wasn’t the deep, gravelly voice he knew to be his own. He looked down and saw a fitter, more shredded body than his, and his eyes widened. He rushed over to the mirror, and finally saw what had happened – he looked nothing like how he came in – he now had the appearance of a young Asian jock.

“Do you like the new look?” Drew said, leaning against the doorframe leading to the cove. “Enjoy your vacation, Dane. Just relax, get away from it all, and enjoy the new body – it’s yours until you get bored of it!” Drew chuckled as he ran off, leaving Dane stunned.

How will he explain this to Wavell when he goes back?

-----

I hope you all enjoyed this story!

Speaking of commissions, I will be opening up commissions to everyone very soon - keep your eyes peeled for a detailed post on it!

You can also tip me over on ko-fi, if you can't or don't want to commission! You don't have to tip me, but any support is always welcome.

#male tf #massage tf #mrwavellswaps #tf-lover #race tf #jock tf

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bunnyksj · 2 months

Text

Do I Wanna Know? - KSJ x Reader.

Summary: If your husband can sleep around, going after any woman he can get his hands on, what's stopping you from getting back at him by sleeping with your coworker?

Author’s Note: JIN MY LOVE, anyways thank you so much for all your support on the last fics like omg (>w<), i really appreciate it so much you don't understand.

TAGS: MDNI, smut, cheating (guys don't do it that shits wack), revenge sex, slight manhandling teehee, cunnilingus, praise, degradation, he hits it raw </3 (as normal LMAO).

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

It all started when your husband came home intoxicated from a long night out.

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

He lay sprawled out on your sofa, dark rings under his eyes. You could smell the alcohol radiating off his body from across the room, making your nose scrunch in disgust. His phone was violently vibrating, a plethora of messages coming through his phone. Angry mistresses demanding for cash in exchange for keeping quiet about his affairs.

“Fucking pig.” You muttered under your breath, a blend of hurt and anger flowing through your body.

You pour yourself a glass of champagne, softly crying into the glass, taking in the wright of the situation, the life you had built together, the love and adoration you once had for one another had slowly faded, and now, it had completely died out.

As more messages kept coming through, you felt your heart sink lower and lower, taking small sips from your glass. What should you do now? You stood there in silence, leaning against the kitchen countertop, pondering your next moves.

Should you just pack all your stuff and leave? No, you don't have anywhere to go, and getting a divorce is expensive enough, you dont wanna imagine how much it would be to find your own place, and settle in at the same time.

Eventually, an idea came into your head.

Who the fuck does your husband think he is? Sleeping around behind your back, like you wouldnt eventually find out. Well, it's time to show him you're not the only one who keeps secrets.

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

Seokjin was someone that you had worked with for a long time. You couldn't lie and said you didn't admire sharp features and soft smiles from time to time, finding comfort in his warm and caring eyes. And you definitely weren’t the only one. It was pretty common for the women around your office to fawn over him when he’d walk past. Talking in hushed giggles about what they would do to him if given the chance.

You thought you guys were friendly enough with each other, often talking during your lunch break, engaging in deep conversations about the issues you were dealing with. But that was mainly it. Seokjin usually kept himself closed off, brushing off the lustful stares and small giggles of his female coworkers, often keeping his gaze cold and calculating. He never gave them the time of day, and honestly, you didn't think he’d give you that either.

But hey, trying never hurt anybody.

You pressed the phone against your ear with shaking hands, adrenaline rushing through your veins.

“Hi..um..Seokjin,” You began, stamming with nervousness, but also a slight hint of excitement. “Are you busy at all today?”

“No, not really. Why?” He said, his soft voice coming from the other end of the line.

You took a deep breath, putting on a slight sultry tone in your voice.

“I’ve been thinking about you alot. Won’t you come over~.”

He took a deep inhale. “I don’t know if I should, y/n. What about-”

“My husband? Don’t worry about that dickhead.” You said, quickly cutting him off.

“Besides,” A small smirk crept onto your face. “You can keep a secret, right?”

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

“Shit…” He groaned softly, laying you down on your back. “You’re so fucking sexy baby, been wanting this for a long time..”

Seokjin came over shortly after you called him. His breath hitched as he entered your room, his hooded gaze trailed across your lingerie clad body. Your husband had left a few hours ago. To go where? Who the fuck knows. Not like you even cared anymore, you were having your own fun. Let him run around behind your back all he wants, you’ll do it too.

You felt a strange sense of satisfaction and power, like you had the upper hand now. You feel your heart racing in anticipation, as Seokjin lips slowly move down your neck, his hands reaching behind your back to unclip your bra, letting your breasts free.

Seokjin's firm hands run over your breasts, softly pinching your nipples under his thumbs. “So perfect…” He mutters, softly licking around one of your nips.

You whine softly, running your hands along his broad back, feeling his firm muscles under your soft palms. He slowly moves his hand down your torso, caressing the wetness pooling between your thighs. Slowly, he peels off your lace panties, throwing them aside.

“So pretty baby. You’re gonna let me take care of you right? Gonna make you feel so good.” He whispers slowly into your ear, breath tickling your throat.

He slowly moves over your clit, rubbing it gently, making you whimper softly. His hands run down your thighs as he places himself between your legs, his breath lightly fanning against your folds.

“Such a sensitive sweet thing. Poor baby hasn’t been fucked good in a while, has she?”

You shake your head, big eyes gazing down into his. “Wanna feel good…”

“I know, angel. Just relax for me, mkay. Gonna fuck you so damn good.”

He slowly licks over your folds, sucking on your pretty clit. His hands force your thighs apart, pulling you closer to his face, worshiping your body. He groans softly, moving his tongue around you, swirling over your clit, your arousal painting his lips. Soft wet noises and your whines fill the room, your hands running through Seokjin's soft hair, lightly gripping it.

“Mmm..fuck..so good~!” You cry, softly grinding your hips against his face, your eyes rolling back, pleasure coursing through your veins.

“You taste so fucking good..” He growls, slowly slipping his fingers into your pussy, spreading you open whilst he licks and sucks your clit. His fingers arch slightly, pressing onto your g-spot, making you arch and moan. Your hands pull on his hair, making him moan lowly, his fingers moving faster inside you.

“J-jinnie~,” You whine. “Want you now..”

“Yeah, you want me inside of you? Want me to fuck you like a good little whore?”

He kneels on the bed, throwing your legs over his wide shoulders, pulling you closer to him, your lower back slightly off the bed as he positions himself between your dripping thighs.

“Mhm..please, I want it so bad. Wanna be a good little slut,” You cry, your body aching with desire and need. “Please, Jinnie?”

He gives you a soft smirk, before pushing into you, his thick cock rubbing against your walls. “Gonna fill this little cunt up, fuck you just right.” He says, slowly pushing every inch as deep as he can inside of you.

You moan loudly, feeling him fill you up. He’s massive, way bigger than your husband, you swear you can feel him in your stomach. You lie back on the bed, eyes rolling and panting loudly as he claims your body. His hips slap against yours, wet slaps filling the room, making you even wetter. His hands grip your legs, pushing them back a little to reach even deeper inside you, slight bruises forming on your legs due to his tight grip. Your hands claw at the sheets, your vision blurring from the intense pleasure.

“Fuck, should’ve known you were such a slut, would’ve fucked you ages ago, made you my little bitch.” He says, emphasizing his words with his harsh thrusts.

“F-fuck…you’re so fucking good..so big..” You gasp, your body clenching around his girth, begging for more.

You bounce off his hips, chest bouncing with each thrust, the desperation and passion of your fucking filling the room. His hands run up your chest, reaching your throat, his grip softly putting pressure around it,

“You’re mine now right? My good little slut?” He says, running his tongue over his top lip, looking down into your eyes, his eyes clouded with lust.

“Mhm..yes~!” You cry, your body slowly reaching its climax. “Wanna be yours, Jinnie. Only you can fuck me this good~!”

“Fuck, that's it baby..” He growls. “Such a shame, your little husband never treated you right, good thing you’re getting fucked by a real man now. Now you know how good I can make you feel, right?”

You nod, a warm pool of pleasure forming in your stomach. “Fuck, Jinnie! I’m gonna cum~! Please…”

A dark smirk grows on his face, his fingers playing with your clit, driving you to your peak. “Go on. Cum for me, sweet angel.”

You cry, your back arching, your body losing control. You cum around him, wetness coating all over the sheets below you as he continues to thrust into you, riding out your orgasm.

He growls at the sight of you, your pretty face twisted in pure pleasure. It drives him over the edge, and he cums deep inside of you. Thick ropes painting your insides, filling you up nicely.

He pants, sweat coating his forehead, his hand brushing back his sweaty hair, leaning down to kiss you passionately. You return the kiss, your tongues both softly sliding around each other, enjoying the intimate embrace. He grabs you by the hips, lifting you up bridal style.

“Cmon, let's get you cleaned up.” He says, smiling softly, carrying you towards the shower. You give him a small smile, leaning into his bare chest, panting softly, catching your breath.

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

A few days have passed since then, and your husband is none the wiser. You smile softly, thinking about the night you shared with Seokjin not long ago. Your thoughts are interrupted by a text message coming through on your phone. It’s Seokjin.

“You free today, angel?”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

#bunny.writes #kim seokjin #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin smut #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts smut #bangtan smut

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genderkoolaid · 2 years

Text

"In my interviews with women coworkers, they expressed both curiosity and concern about their colleague's decision about genital surgery. One woman noted, "I've asked him about, as I like to put it, 'What is going on downstairs [with his genitalia]?'" Almost all of the women also brought up their questions about chest surgery. "I can just imagine it and think, why would I want to cut my breasts off? It just strikes me as mutilation." Another woman said, "I was kind of horrified, at first, about the chest surgery.... I think it was a similar feeling that I would have to a friend getting breast implants. You just don't want them cutting themselves up." Women also expressed hesitation about accepting transmen as men. One woman noted, [His gender] feels like a middle-of-the-road thing for me. I mean I have a lot of gay male friends, so I feel like in some way there is a similar characteristic.... At the same time, it feels like friendships I've had with women. So, it just doesn't feel the same as just a typical straight guy that I am friends with." Another woman said, "It is not like I see him as a girl. It is more just that knowing about this transition, it is a kind of an aura I pick up on." Their hesitation related to how to locate transmen in a male/female system. Heterosexual men presented themselves as placing less emphasis on the reality of transmen's gender—though one man noted that he felt self-conscious at times when interacting with his colleague. "[I worry] if there is anything that I should or shouldn't say. But it is just kind of a small background thing for me." Men also had questions about surgeries, particularly genital surgery. However, while women's concerns were baldly inquisitive, men framed their concerns as relating to an interest in "science" or "biology"—highlighting the social strictures on a heterosexual man expressing interest in the body of another man. One man said, "I think the whole [transition] process is interesting; Just the whole biology of how it happens." Another man added, "I had some specific questions.... It was more like from a scientific approach. Transgender surgeries just fascinate me from a scientific approach." As heterosexual women have a right based on sexual desire to be interested in men's bodies, they expressed less hesitation about direct questions. Heterosexual men, in contrast, adopt a "forgetting" strategy in which they do not publicly address the transition after the initial announcement unless it is in joking interactions. Describing this strategy, one coworker gave his impression of how other men in his workplace approached his colleague's transition: "They would rather forget. The problem is they've got only two categories. They've got 'normal' and they've got 'freak.' In order to avoid having to deal with a freak, they put him in normal." As heterosexual men typically hold the most workplace power, treating transmen like "normal" on an organizational and interactional level creates the increases in authority and respect that some open transmen report. Further highlighting this point, transmen who report being neutralized, policed, and tokenized were the most likely to work under heterosexual women and gay men. I am not suggesting that heterosexual men have fewer qualms about transmen's gender identity. Rather, I posit that when an open transition is given workplace support, heterosexual men feel more social pressures to "forget"'about the transition—as questioning another man about his body makes them potentially suspect in a way that heterosexual women; lesbian women, and gay men are not."

— Just One Of The Guys? Transgender Men and the Persistence of Gender Inequality by Kristen Schilt (2010), pages 126-127

#m.#transandrophobia

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uzuikyo · 1 year

Text

take me by the hand

inspired by this tiktok video that shattered my fucking heart </3 i couldn't stop crying after seeing that video send a therapist

pairing/s : akaza x fem!reader

genre : angst, fluff, smut maybe

warning/s : major character death, mentions of infertility, pregnancy, fingering, shower sex, pregnant sex, childbirth (normal & c-section), stillbirth (the baby suffocated from the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck), self-harm, suicide, everything’s just mostly sad and depressing, ): poor akaza, (pls forgive me if some of my medical knowledge or writing are inaccurate), also it was 2am when i wrote this so if there are some grammar or spelling mistakez, i apologize >.<

wc : 3.3k

ON REPEAT 🔂

🎧 understand x pluto projector (keshi, rex orange county)

“congratulations! we’re all sooo happy for the both of you!” your best friend, mitsuri, had tears forming in her eyes as she gently pulled you in a hug to not squeeze you and the life growing inside of you. you hugged her back, thanking her as you tried calming her down.

you accepted her gift after pulling away from each other, placing it on the table just for all the presents and gifts. you were feeling kind of overwhelmed as you did not expect this many of them.

your husband saw you and felt your anxiousness. “darling,” you hummed, looking at him. “you okay?” akaza had that soft look in his eyes like he always did ever since you two got together. you nod, “just a little overwhelmed is all. i didn’t know it was going to be such a big deal or something.” you chuckled and akaza let out a small smile, placing a hand on the small of your back and rubbed soothing circles on it.

“everything’s going to be fine. i’m going to be beside you. always. i know my soon to be princess needs her mommy and daddy.” he placed a hand on your round belly and kissed your forehead before both of you went on with the celebration.

all of your friends and family attended the baby shower and all of them were very happy for the both of you to be finally having a child of your own after years of babysitting and stealing your sister’s and mitsuri’s kids and after years of trying for one yourselves.

you and akaza always took it slow and patiently ever since your obgyn informed you about having a low percentage of conceiving a child. this, however, did not stop your lovely husband from adoring you and even told you that it doesn’t matter if you were able to give him one. kids or not, he still loved you no matter what and that was enough to make you feel better.

although you do admit that other women who were able to conceive in just a few tries made you feel insecure and jealous. it made you question yours and your husband’s relationship, but akaza always knew how to reassure you and make your mind be at ease. and you loved him even more for that.

you couldn’t ask for a better husband than akaza.

“akaza!” you giddily shouted from the bathroom and your husband was in your sight in a second. “well?” you showed him the result of all the the pregnancy tests. it all read ‘positive’.

“all three of them.” you said, tears forming in your eyes. “akaza…” a sob escaped from your mouth when he picked you up and spun you around. “we’re having a baby!” his blue eyes were filled with excitement and love as he looked at your tear-stained face. “i love you so much, darling.”

akaza put you down and kissed you like the world was ending. you pulled away, resting your forehead on his but you couldn’t stare at him for too long so you buried your face in his chest, uncontrollably sobbing. “thank you for being patient with me-“

“hey, i don’t wanna hear it. i told you, didn’t i? i don’t care as long as i have you with me.” akaza mumbled in your hair, caressing your back. “but right now we have received what we’ve been wanting for a long time. and i thank the gods for that.”

akaza was there with you for every check ups and ultrasound. you remember how smiley he was when he got the very first ultrasound pictures of your baby from the doctor. his smile got wider when the doctor added how healthy your baby was in that moment that you felt like his mouth would tore apart.

first trimester

“babe.”

akaza groaned from the light taps on his shoulder. slowly opening his eyes, he looked at the clock which read 2:48am. “you need anything, darling? is something hurting or bothering you?” his raspy voice indicates how he’s trying to stay awake.

akaza fully opened his eyes and immediately got up when he saw the tears im your eyes. “i’m craving some mangoes. and pickles.” your reply made him think about whether to laugh or curse at himself, but he eventually pulled you closer to him, trying to soothe you by caressing your hair.

“shh, it’s okay. i got you, baby. you’re not bothering me. i told you i would be right beside you, right?”

every midnight and 3am cravings were fully satisfied with a sleepless and tired akaza in the morning. everytime he would get up to buy or prepare your pregnancy cravings, he would make sure you eat well and go back to sleep which leads to him not being able to go back to sleep. although sometimes he does try, cuddling in bed with you and just waiting until he falls back asleep— which sometimes works.

akaza also dealt with your crazy mood swings during the first trimester.

how you would cry over as simple as not being able to fit in your old jeans anymore, or because the whole tub of ice cream that only you ate ran out. or it may also because of a character that died in a movie or series you’re watching.

how you would snap at him over the littlest things. like not holding your hands, or not giving his attention to you immediately, or not being able to answer your calls within the first ring.

and how you would laugh at literally everything. from rengoku saying his famous “umai!” everytime he eats, to mitsuri’s kids running around and trying not to fall face flat on the ground. also, how you laugh at every serious conversations and scenarios you’re in.

lastly, akaza was the most careful as if he was the one pregnant. he did not let you do any straining activities— even exercising or walking around too much! because he knew that this part of the pregnancy stage was the most crucial one.

and you understood that. you didn’t mind his overprotective nature since this was your first child and both of you you did not want anything bad happening to you and the baby.

second trimester

your bump was more visible now and you can kind of feel the additional weight on your body. you started buying more maternity clothes because most of your bottoms won’t even fit your waist anymore.

the little human inside you also started to kick in your womb. you and akaza would always wait for the baby to kick in the morning right after you wake up and whenever you were doing something exciting as you noticed your baby always responds to happy emotions. like when you’re laughing too much or eating your favorite foods.

akaza was still tending to your every needs and cravings. although it wasn’t as bad as the first few weeks of your pregnancy, but the mood swings were still there.

however as the cravings faded, your hormones started to spike up.

“babe- fuck, are you sure you’re okay with this?” akaza tries his best to hold back, but you always pushes him to his limits. “yes, akaza, please. need you right now.” you ran your hands from his naked chest to his lower abdomen, teasing the waistband of his boxers.

his fingers dipped inside your panties, gently sliding over your now wet slit. “already so wet for me, baby?” you nodded, cheeks flushed as you moaned from the feeling. “please- need to feel you inside me already.”

akaza placed his lips on yours along with the slip of one finger inside you, making you gasp in his mouth. “keep making those noises for me, pretty girl.” he groaned, adding another finger.

“f-fuck, yes-h-haa…” the kiss turned sloppy as his fingers moved faster, his other hand playing with your swollen tits. “look how pretty these tits are. so soft and swollen, hmm-“ you sighed, neck falling back onto the pillow as he sucked on your nipple, his other fingers playing with the other.

“‘m cumming- fuck! a-ah.. akaza-“

akaza curled his fingers inside you, hitting the spot once again as you finally released. your white juices staining the bedsheets as you tried to catch your breath.

“you need help bathing?” you nodded at your husband, smiling sheepishly. “yes please, i can’t clean my legs cuz of my tummy.” you pouted and he chuckled, “alright, ma, i’ll help you. like i always do.” akaza winked at you, and you lightly smacked him on the chest.

with a hand on your elbow and another on your waist, akaza helped you step in the tub, carefully guiding you down to sit as you held your growing tummy.

akaza made sure you were relaxed and settled before letting you go and grabbing the loofah, pouring a good amount of your favorite body wash. you sighed, closing your eyes as he began scrubbing and washing your body— starting with your shoulders and chest area.

"thank you," you mumbled, leaning your head against his chest as he continued on gently scrubbing your tummy and down your legs. "this is the best that i can do since you're doing all the hard work for our baby." he pressed a kiss on the crown of your head.

after your body and hair were all washed up, akaza got you a towel and carefully helped you get out of the tub to dry you. "lotion?" you nodded at your husband's question and he happily grabbed the bottle of lotion and started applying some on your back, softly massaging every area.

it was such an intimate and peaceful feeling. you were looking at him through the mirror as he was doing it and you let out a moan when he started massaging your breasts. "that feels good?" you nodded, letting out a whine when he suddenly pinched your nipples. "akaza!"

"wanna make you feel good.." he hummed, enjoying how you looked so naked and pretty in front of the mirror. akaza sat you down on the vanity and softly kissed you. your hands wrapping around the back of his neck automatically as the feeling between your thighs made you clench them together.

akaza pulled away and started kissing down your neck. his hands making their way back to your tender breasts and kneading them. "akaza.." you moaned, grinding your hips on his as you felt him get harder under his sweatpants.

"i know darling," akaza felt your wetness the moment his fingers touched your aching center. "fuck, already so wet for me." he pushed one finger in, then another, making you gasp. "more, f-fuck- akaza, more!" you moaned, feeling frustrated from how his fingers wasn't enough to satisfy you.

"just need to make sure you'll be okay, baby. fuck-" he continued pushing his fingers in and out of you, making sure you were feeling good but also comfortable in the countertop you were sitting at. he kissed your cheeks when he saw that you were close. "cum f'me, pretty girl."

you let yourself release the knot inside of you as your mouth formed an 'o', holding tight onto akaza's arms as you came. "that's my good girl. i love you so much," he kissed you passionately, and you responded, hands travelling down the band of his sweatpants to pull it down.

akaza helped you take it off and you bit your lip at the sight of his hard cock. "need it inside me, please." akaza hummed, "anything for my pretty girl." you stroked him a few times before lining the tip up your entrance. "let me do all the work, mmkay? don't want you tiring yourself." he gave you a peck and slowly pushed inside your needy entrance.

"ha-aah, s-so good-" you grabbed onto the back of his neck, watching as his whole length entered you with the sound of akaza groaning loudly. "you feel so fucking good." akaza pulled you in for a kiss and started thrusting in and out of your cunt.

both of you were moaning in each others mouths, your fingers grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging on it everytime akaza pushes deeper inside you, making the man groan. "yes, right there! ah!-" your forehead were on his as your mouth opened into a silent moan.

"are you close, my love?" akaza adjusted his pace, still being gentle as to not strain you too much nor the baby. "yes, mhmm- fuuck!" you cried out, looking at akaza with the most pretty yet lustful eyes. "let it all out darling, cum with me." both of you came, releasing the loudest moans and groans as akaza caught you in his arms before you went limp.

"i love you, my darling."

third trimester

you loathed your third trimester. you felt so heavy and tired. as well as uncomfortable, because of how round you felt. but you kept on telling yourself to stay strong for your baby. that you had a few weeks left before you can welcome her into the world.

akaza always tried his best to help you carry all the weight by holding your tummy whenever your standing up. like when your cooking, or getting ready. "i know this sounds easier said than done, but just two more weeks and we're going to see our baby."

for the last for weeks of your pregnancy, you've been going to the doctor once a week just to make sure everything is set once you give birth and that the baby is healthy.

you've also been staying inside more since you mostly felt like shit. all the weight on your tummy makes your body hurts, especially your back and waist. thankfully, your husband is there to give you a massage whenever you need one.

"i look like a ball," you pouted, talking to yourself as you were observing yourself in the mirror. akaza looked at you from his office chair at home, and smiled. "no you don't, you look like a strong, pregnant woman to me."

you frowned at him. "you're not the one carrying a whole human in him, are you?" he chuckled, raising both arms to accept defeat.

"you're ready to push, you're at 10cm already." the doctor alerted all the nurses as they began setting up the room for you and your baby once she comes out to the world. "is dad going to be with you during the whole birth?" the doctor asked, and you felt akaza hold your hand. "yes."

"okay momma, i need you to push in one, two, three!"

everything got so blurry after that. you could hear akaza telling you soothing phrases while the doctor was telling you to push and be strong. you were screaming, crying, and pushing for what felt like forever until you heard the doctor say, "i've got the head!"

you were so tired and exhausted that you didn't even realize that everyone was acting so frantically. the nurses were running everywhere, and the doctor was shouting things you couldn't comprehend although you heard the word "suffocating".

akaza was told to wait outside, and eventhough he was confused and nervous, he did what he was told to do for the sake of you and the baby.

you woke up in a different room from the one you were in earlier. the fatigue was still in your system, but you were eager to see your baby, so you tried sitting up only to feel a shooting pain in your lower abdomen.

akaza immediately stood up when he noticed you moving. your brows furrowed when you noticed his swollen, red eyes, and his overall dishveled state. "how's the baby?" you excitedly asked, only to receive a sad smile from your husband as a reply. "akaza?"

"where's our baby? is she healthy? did the nurse take her out to clean?" akaza's heart shattered when he saw the excitement and hope in your eyes slowly disappear. "darling.." you shook your head at him, terror coating your face as the tears just started pouring from your tired eyes.

"no, no, no, no!" you started thrashing around, not giving a fuck about the pain in your abdomen, eager to remove all the cords and needles attached to you just to see your baby. akaza immediately hugged you tightly, trying to stop you from hurting yourself further while whispering, "i'm sorry, my love. it's not your fault. i promise."

you kept on shouting "no!" and "my baby!" and it alarmed the nurses stationed near your room as they came in to check on you. your doctor soon came in and once you calmed down, she explained everything. about how the baby suddenly changed position and that the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, causing her to suffocate. they also had to give you a c-section in order to get her out of you which explains the pain on your lower abdomen.

everyone was devastated when they heard the news. it was hard. no one could compare to a mother losing their child. mitsuri and your family tried visiting you, but you turned all of them away. you didn't want to feel ashamed and embarassed for failing to bring your baby safely in this world.

akaza knew you were more devastated than anything else, but deep inside he also felt defeated and broken. it was his first ever child. your first ever child. you both waited so patiently for one and she got taken away from you so quickly and suddenly.

he did not ever leave your side after that day, not caring if he missed work because you were more important to him than anything and anyone else.

akaza knew you needed him and he needed you.

however, you couldn't be there for akaza because you feel deep down the rabbit hole and you couldn't climb back up no matter how hard other people helped you do so. it was like the world and just life lost its meaning.

you never once thought about how akaza was feeling, because you were to focused on grieving and blaming yourself for being a bad and a failure mother. you never once saw how akaza would cry in his office or whenever he was alone in the bathroom or whenever you were already asleep at night.

but akaza never blamed you for anything. he couldn't imagine how hard it is to carry a life inside of you for nine months just for it not to live once it was out of your womb. he understood how you couldn't be there for him because he knew it how hard it was. he understood how you couldn't comfort him and make him feel better, because at least you were there with him. at least, you were still alive and breathing beside him.

you should've known. you should've listened to all of akaza's words about how "it wasn't your fault" and "i still love you no matter what". you should've felt it through his actions. how he would still kiss you every morning when you wake up and every night before sleeping. how he would still cook your favorite foods and try to cheer you up by playing your favorite shows on the tv.

because maybe. just maybe if you did, then akaza would not be kneeling on the floor with your lifeless body swimming in a pool of blood.

maybe he wouldn't have to bear the silence of the big house which was once a home for both you and him, and your baby. maybe the house would still be lively from your cheerful presence and maybe even filled with little akazas and you running around the house instead of two pink urns designed with cherry blossoms on a table.

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comfortless · 2 months

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He definitely has a complex about being considered middle aged. Me personally, I see him as one of those guys that tell you they're a couple of years younger than they actually are, in the beginning, cause be feels too old for someone younger and (in his mind) 'cooler' than him.

I feel like joining the army at such a young age must've made him feel like an adult way too soon, and maybe back then he must've felt superior like 'All the people my age only care about love and having fun, I'm way too mature for those silly things'. (Could be a copping mechanism to deal with the fact that he wasn't getting love anyway, and wasn't included in all the fun his peers were having. Rejecting those things altogether are a way to take back control and make himself feel better, he's too busy becoming a real man anyway). But now that he's older he does feel like he missed out on things, and regrets not being a silly teenager when it was acceptable and expected at that age.

He makes me think of that one Yves Olade quote that goes like "I thought so many things & never said a single one aloud. I choked on such longing I couldn’t spit out. Yes, desire is so different when God bore you hungry. I could have devoured anything and still have been starving." When you get no love from your parents is one thing (still hurts) but when you get cast out in other social circles also, it makes you feel bitter like nothing else on this earth. It creates this feeling that you're the one that it's being inadequate for even daring to want connections to other people and you begin to resent people and yourself for wanting to be around them. There's this shame that settles on top of your chest when you want love but you feel like that's the cause of all your suffering in the first place, like you're doing it to yourself. This reminds me of another quote : "in front of my mother and my sisters, i pretend love is cheap and vulgar. i act like it's a sin- i pretend that love is for women on a dark path. but at night i dream of a love so heavy it makes my spine throb- i dream up a lover who makes love like he is separating salt from water." (Salma Deera, "salt"). I feel like this might apply to younger Konig, when convinced himself that love is for weak man to protect his poor heart. But now that he's older and has the money, the position and the body of a real man he needs to get a taste (just a small one, just once) of what he had missed out on in his youth. He finally feels deserving enough to attempt to have real intimacy with someone, not just quick hookups that leave him more hungry.

FEEL FREE TO NOT ANSWER THIS I'm just in a silly mood and had to psychoanalyse my babygirl real quick. Also, sorry for my English =))

how could i possibly just leave this in my inbox, anon?! this is all so correct…

thank god he wears that hood, because even on the field the sun isn’t hitting him too much - (he thinks) he can pass for early thirties. not that any lady who takes an interest in him is really considering his age much anyway, it’s always the shy “how tall did you say you were, again?”s or “what is your real name?”s that are telltale signs of interest. they ogle his build, the accomplishments he will prattle on about given the chance, the haunted look in his eyes and the strange lilt to his voice, the scars and lines only make him look cooler. if only that wasn’t such a rare treat.

he’s just in his head about things always. he missed out on the sweet, awkward dates: the mutual rush of adrenaline from holding someone’s hand for the first time, sneaky pecks in the schoolyard, passing notes and calling throughout the night. he never got to experience having his parents drop him off at the theater to take some girl from class out or… hell, even getting to go with a friend who wasn’t gossiping behind his back. König’s never gotten to live like any other, normal person, he’s been denied that since being birthed into a world that did not want him as much as he did not want it.

so, of course he’s bitter. he’s horribly bitter even now when things have finally started to fall into place for him. he’s got a stature even Adonis would be nervous around, a savings account so stocked he isn’t even sure what to do with the money, an impressive title, his own place, a car, and some of the soldiers even consider him a friend. he gets invited out every now and then, doesn’t mind downing jäger and listening to his men talk about their current affairs: what women they’re seeing, or how their children are, where they plan to go on leave. he takes to living vicariously through them. he even finds it fit to lie, pulls up a picture of some random woman every now and then to boast about how he made her come undone on his bed last leave with a stupid laugh. the truth is that no, last leave he bought a nice fleshlight, took a thirteen hour depression nap, maybe went on a long hike and had a film marathon on his own.

having a woman show him any interest immediately activates some self-destructive behavior: he’ll hound her (screw double texting, it’s moreso in the dozens. little “miss you”s and stupid accusations he immediately wishes he hadn’t sent), either withdraw into himself if he even feels slightly abandoned or become even more intense and clingy. no one’s ever loved him, not properly, so how is he supposed to know how? if his own parents hated him, then who is going to have the patience and understanding to teach him? his approaches are almost childish, the way he goes from boyish and giddy to closed off and pitiful. /: and the self-loathing only amplifies during these times, because my god he should be more disciplined than this by now. all that being said, i do think he would settle and be as well-behaved as a neglected bull could be if he feels his affection is being reciprocated. he just needs time (and a good therapist).

squealing at the poetry and how much thought you’ve put into this message. <3

Yves Olade is sooo good to quote from for him! i think that “You can have my heart if you have the stomach to take it. Kiss me hard enough to invert me.” suits him just as well, especially when it comes to the trepidation and fear amidst the sparks of him finally, truly having someone be selfless and loving with him.

König in love is a very special topic to me!! there are so many different ways this rabid dog could take to handling it and by and by he always seems to choose the most aggressive / uncanny approach, held back by a leash that no one’s ever thought to untie, constantly growling and leaping at anything that gets too close just to simmer down to whimpering and begging the second he’s pet just once!!

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captainsophiestark · 1 month

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Hypocrite

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Requested by @flowers-and-fichte! Hope you enjoy, Novalis, and thanks for the request!

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Bucky's gotten close with Peggy's best friend, the two bonding over the reckless mavericks they both chose to care so much about. But Steve and Peggy aren't the only couple dancing around each other in this war.

Word Count: 1,396

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: I can't believe this is my first time writing for Bucky, lol. Most of the rest of the fandom has been here since Winter Soldier, but better late than never I guess!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I shook my head as I barely managed to put one foot in front of the other, heading through the front door of my favorite dive bar. The Howling Commandos and I had spent many a night here, toasting success or planning our next move, but tonight I was without the rest of my group.

Peggy Carter was going to well and truly kill me, and I needed a night to process that.

She'd been my best friend for just about as long as I could remember; we'd joined SOE together, and somehow managed to end up on General Philips' staff, two of the only women getting as close to combat as we did. We made an excellent team, and normally, I had no complaints. But sometimes she could just be so reckless, flying head first into insane danger, that my heart needed a break lest it burst on the spot.

Tonight had been no exception. Peggy and Steve Rogers, the one and only Captain America, had worked together on a Commandos mission just across enemy lines. We'd been successful, and the two of them together had made an incredible difference in the war effort, but damned if I didn't also rue the day they'd met.

I slumped into a stool at the bar, barely registering my surroundings until someone slid a glass of my favorite drink in front of me. I frowned at it, then turned to my left to see who exactly it had come from.

Sargeant Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers' best friend, stared back at me with a faint smile on his face. He looked almost as tired as I felt.

"You look like you could use this," he said. I huffed.

"Thanks. How'd you know what I liked?"

He just shrugged, his eyes never once leaving mine as I took a drink, the corner of his mouth gently tugging up.

"I usually pay attention to the drink orders of pretty girls."

I snorted so hard a bit of my drink came out of my nose. It burned like hell, so it took me a few moments to recover myself enough to meet Bucky's gaze again. He'd leaned forward a bit, one eyebrow raised, looking a bit concerned.

"You alright there, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, fine. Just wasn't expecting you to hit on me, especially with that lame ass pickup line."

"Lame?" Bucky asked, a hand flying to his heart in mock-outrage. "That hurts."

I just rolled my eyes. "Knock it off, Barnes. We've quite literally been through hell together, I think we're a little past you trying to get my number in a bar."

"Well then how would you suggest I get your number?"

I paused, drink halfway to my lips again, and cut my eyes towards Bucky to let him know how truly ridiculous I thought the question was.

"You already have my number. It's the same one for Peggy and all the Commandos, as long as we're all stationed at the same camp."

Bucky just stared at me for a long moment. I sipped my drink and set it back down on the bar before he finally spoke again.

"Shit."

"Yeah. Nice try though."

Bucky huffed a laugh and took a sip of his own drink, then turned back to me with renewed energy and a bright, charming smile. I held up a hand before he could launch into whatever he was planning to say next.

"Okay Buck, why don't you just tell me what this is about. Because I came in here exausted after dealing with our best friends, and I don't have the energy to coach your rusty ass on how to flirt, if that's what you're trying to practice."

Bucky cleared his throat, deflating a little, but not all the way. He sighed, then set his shoulders and met my stare again with a determined expression.

"Actually, I'm trying to ask you on a date."

I laughed, until I realized Bucky wasn't laughing.

"Wait, are you serious?"

"Very. Although you're really testing my resolve, since you've now laughed in my face twice. You know I used to be good at this before the war?"

I shook my head, a disbelieving smile subconsciously forcing its way onto my face.

"Bucky... I'm not saying no, but... I mean, why? Why me, why now? We've known each other and been working on missions since Steve got you out of that prison... what changed to make you think this was a good idea all of a sudden?"

He sighed heavily, the muscles in his jaw working as he apparently forced the words to come.

"I've been feeling like I wanted to ask you out since I saw you, honestly. But we were going to have to work together, and I think it's pretty clear I'm a little rusty. So I waited, and I was just starting to convince myself to wait all the way to the end of the war, until I tried to get Steve to ask Peggy on a date."

My eyebrows shot up. "You did? How did that go? Those two have been dancing around each other for way too long, I've been trying to tell Peggy the same thing-"

"Well, maybe between the two of us we can actually get them to take the leap. But I realized when I was talking to Steve that I can't expect him to take my advice when I won't take it myself. I'm turning into the biggest hypocrite in the world encouraging him to talk to Peggy while chickening out on talking to you. So... here we are."

"Here we are..." I repeated, my voice a little faint as the full weight of Bucky's confession sank in. He had feelings for me, and apparently had for a while now. And now he was asking me on a date, the fact that we were in the middle of a war be damned.

I grinned.

"Is that a good sign? That looks like a good sign, but now I'm not sure..."

"It's a great sign, Bucky," I said, meeting his eyes and feeling a spark of excitement in my chest. "I'm glad you decided to take your own advice."

"So that's a yes?"

"That's absolutely a yes." Bucky's shoulders finally relaxed, a smile appearing on his face to match my own. "So... when do we do this? Do we call tonight our first date? We're out together, the two of us, at a bar..."

"No. No way," Bucky quickly decided. I raised an eyebrow at him, so he continued. "Tonight's not a date, sweetheart. Even in the middle of a war, I can find a way to make our night on the town something special. A little magical, and definitely just about the two of us. Tonight might be just the two of us, but it's about the two reckless idiots we call friends."

I laughed, then reached for my drink and raised it towards Bucky.

"I'll toast to that. To taking tonight to cope with the people we care about, and putting something on the books for a real night out together soon."

"Hear hear."

Bucky and I shared a smile, then each took a drink. I finished mine off, then sat back in my chair and stared at the man before me.

"So... how do you feel about a game of darts? Person who's not throwing is allowed to distract the other person, but only by relating the most insane shit our friends have done lately. True stories only."

"Bring it on. I've known Steve long enough that nothing's gonna surprise me anymore."

I snorted as the two of us grabbed another round of drinks and headed for the dartboard at the back of the bar.

"Look, Peggy might've gone through a phase of trying to be a proper lady, but she's been making up for it by doing even more ridiculous nonsense lately. Your boy's got nothing on her."

"I guess we'll just have to see about that, won't we?"

Bucky and I shared another smile. The routine was familiar, but now, there was an extra spark attached that hadn't really been there before. Even though tonight wasn't a date, spending time with Bucky felt a little different, now, in a very good way.

Maybe this could be the silver lining I held on to the next time Peggy tried to kill me via heart attack, until the end of the war and beyond.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten @coinsublime

If your name is crossed out, Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you for some reason

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soxcietyy · 2 months

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Temptation

Chapter 4 -> Chapter 5

Your dad is tired of you bringing home these unworthy men. None of them being fit to take care of you or to be given the family business since you are the only daughter. He decides to find you someone fit to be your husband and receive help from the father of the church. That’s when you meet Yuta, though just because he goes to church doesn’t mean he’s much of a saint

Mafia, murder, violence, mentions of religion, (will contain other things in the next chapters)

" Yu!! You won’t believe what I got at the store today!" You shout as you look for him around the house.

He could believe what you got because he was right there with you! He would have sent a guard to watch you but he couldn’t have you thinking something was wrong right off the bat. He had to pretend to live a normal like for the meantime. At least when you guys are married you wouldn’t be able to run so easily.

The second he got in the house he sped walk into his office. It seemed to be his only safe spot from you because you knew you weren’t allowed in there. He couldn’t handle another "what I got for my wedding haul". You did this every day and he felt like he was about to start throwing things. He didn’t know having a woman in his home would be this hard.

The other girl before you was more quiet, scared, and did everything he asked of her but you were the opposite. Every time you entered a room it’s as if the dark and lonely atmosphere vanished and transformed into happiness. He wasn’t used to this type of thing. He just slept with woman and threw them onto the streets right after. He never thought about marriage until now because his cousin talked him into this.

"Yuta, this business is all about family. About caring for one another and helping each other out. You’re too harsh on our people. You don’t even consider them family, it always more like "your men"" Gojo holds a cigar in his finger as he admired the fat object. He sat in his abnormally big office with a huge grin on his face. He never failed to wear it no matter the situation.

"I’m just not a family type of guy." Yuta leans back into the chair he sat in.

Gojo has been nagging him about the same thing over and over. All of this because Yuta always decides to resolve situations with violence instead of terms. His cousin swears up and down that getting a woman would soften him up more and if he got kids it would be even better.

So he sent him down south to a middle class area. He gave him the address to a church so he could find himself a good girl with morals and values.

"Yuta dinner is almost ready! Hurry up so we can say grace before the food gets cold!" You yell to grab his attention.

Unfortunately it seems like he got a girl with too strong of morals and values. Letting a heavy sigh out he stands up to leave. How do normal people do this? How does his cousin get with so many girls if they all act somewhat like this?

Maybe asking for advice wouldn’t hurt but his ego would be scratched. Would he rather get help from his lovely friend Hakari who will most likely make fun of him? Or should he just learn how to deal with you. He contemplated last week to call him after the bathroom situation but he thought it was too soon. Now though he felt like it was needed so he could keep his sanity.

Grabbing the phone he drags the rotary dial to the numbers. He waited a few minutes as it rang, immediately being connected his his friend.

"Hello?" Hakari speaks.

"Come over for dinner, also bring Kirara."

"What? Is there an emergency?!" He ask concerned.

"No, but I need to drink and I can’t even leave the house unless it’s an emergency. I just can’t be alone right now with her." Yuta says before hanging up.

He’s been around women a good amount of times but seeing you walk around in your tiny tight clothes made him feel a type of way.

"Sweetheart we’re having guest over for dinner." Yuta says as he turns the corner to see you in a small slim dress. Your behind and breast protruding beautifully under those cloths.

Yes you were annoying time by time but he couldn’t resist looking at you when you dressed that way. He found himself turning around to avoid looking at you so he could control himself. He just wanted to rip that dress off and have his way with you. He wanted you under him so he could see if that smile you always wore would fall off. Fuck, why was he acting like a horny teenage boy? He’s slept around with a dozen girls so why were you so different? What made him want you this bad when he basically already had you? Was is because you were playing hard to get? Because he was restricted to only look at you?

"Visitors at this hour?" You say

Turning around to look at you he sees you taking something out the oven. Though when you did you bent over and he could see everything you had under there. Quickly turning back around he grips onto the chair in front of him. He must wait a two more weeks.

"Yes darling, why don’t you go upstairs and get dressed into something more modest." Yuta says as he takes the chicken out of your hands.

Running up stairs you scurry to get ready leaving him to his thoughts once again.

He needed to talk to Hakari about the recent negotiations with the police. They’ve been acting a bit weird lately. It might be time to give them a new bribe. The only reason they been able to get away with lots of things was because they were in good terms with the police. They couldn’t just let their relationship collapse like that. Maybe it was time to work the the Zenin too. They had a huge influence with the police and own half of the station somehow. The Gojo family was in tight cahoots with them because of past situations. They might have to put differences aside if Satoru wanted this mission to get done.

Hakari got here in no time. He arrived in a casual suite and his lovely significant other in a casual dress. Letting them inside he grabbed Hakari by the arm pulling him back. He needed to talk to him before dinner so he wouldn’t throw it up later.

"We need to have a serious discussion about Heart." Yuta whispered in his ear.

Hakari rolled his eyes and waved Kirara off.

"Can it be after dinner? I can already smell the food from here and I’m starving." Hakari said with a long face.

Yuta glares at him for saying such a thing. He nodded him to the direction of his office. With a loud sigh Hakari began walking towards the double door. He wasn’t much of a thinker but he knew how to get the job done. If you ever need to get on someone, always bet on him.

"Boys arnt you guys going to eat?! The food is going to get cold!" You say stopping them from taking a further step.

Hakari turn around with a smile on his face. "Of course Ms-"

"Darling we’re kind of in the middle of something. How about later?" Yuta tried to shoo you away.

You stood by the entrance of the dinning room with your arms crossed. "Absolutely not Yu, Hakari is it? You must be hungry. Come on and eat I made such a delicious roasted chicken."

"Sorry Okkotsu but I won’t deny the your soon to be bride." Hakari laughed as he walked into the other room.

Yutas left eye twitched in what he didn’t know was anger or annoyance. He dragged his hand down his face before walking into the dinning room. As he entered he could see that the guest had made them selfs comfortable. Their eyes glued to all the dishes you were setting down. The chicken, bread, corn, mashed potatoes, and more. Ever since you got here you liked to spend most of your time cooking. You liked to try new recipes and make them all at once.

Yuta sat down at his usual seat and watched you serve his food for him. He couldn’t lie your cooking was so good. Sometimes when you irritate him really badly you’ll serve him dessert and his mood would change entirely.

Putting his plate infront of him you serve everyone else and finally take your seat. Yuta watched as Hakari grabbed his fork and was about to dig in. Yuta gave him a harsh kick in the shin making his friend drop his fork back down. He did this for revenge and because he knew what you were about to do.

"Alright guys let’s give grace!" You say as you hold your hands out.

Kirara gladly accepts your hands and gets ahold of Hakari. Yuta hesitate but grabbed Hakaris because why I’m the world would he want to hold his hand.

"Alright Yu it’s your turn." You say smiling at him.

"Lord god, heavily father, bless us and these thy gifts-" when Yuta finished he quickly lets go of Hakari’s hand. Though he planted a kiss on yours and thanked you for making such a wonderful meal for everyone.

As everyone ate Yutas temper seemed to have vanished. Maybe he was just hungry and needed to eat a bit. Everytime he took a bite of his food he was reminded why he hasn’t made his men kill you. He could always make it seem like a accident and look for a new bride. But you were special some how.

When everyone was done Yuta excuses his self and dragged Hakari into his office. He made sure the door was shut before grabbing two glass cups and a bottle of whiskey. Setting them down In front of Hakari, he took his seat and rested his elbows on the desk.

"You know about the Heart situation, it’s getting more dangerous." Yuta says. "Ever since he’s been all friendly with the mayor things have gotten harder for us to transport. Iv gotten reports about him being in my territory. Not only that but he’s been in yours multiple times." Yuta continues. "Why do you think he’s snooping around?"

"It’s kind of obvious he’s going to rob some of our production. Wait why don’t I know anything about him being in my area?" Hakari raises his brow.

If Yuta had to differentiate the two groups he would simply put it on the perspective of professionalism. Hakari was more in the underground side of the mafia. He hired hooligans and people with bad reputation. He didn’t care much about getting caught because nobody knows how he looks. Not even his own men knew unless they were his right side but that would have to be Kirara. Yuta on the other hand was the face of the organization. Also he had a role in the Gojo franchise. He had to keep his image clean but be good at his job at the same time. His people were made up of big politicians, lawyers, and anyone who owed the company even a penny. All they had to do was sign a contract saying that they’ll be given what they want but in return they will need to present their loyalty to them.

"Maybe you need to keep your men in check. Do you know how many things slip under your radar? You need to keep an eye out or we’ll be fucked. What’s going to happen when you’re dead? Who’s going to run your group? You don’t even have a heir for down the line." Yuta says trying to help his friend open his eyes.

"You don’t have one either? Trust me I have this all under control. Hey let’s just invite the don’ Zenin to your wedding. Let’s shape a good friendship with him." Hakari takes the top off the glass bottle.

"I’m getting married to have a heir and because Saturo told me to get one. Also don’t let that name slip out if your mouth again. He doesn’t go by Zenin, it’s don Fushiguro." Yuta watches as Hakari pours an even amount of liquid into both glasses.

"Your stressing too much man, I know your nervous about your wedding. You’ll do great trust me. Speaking of it seems you have found someone who won’t back down easily." Hakari snickers.

"Nothing a little teaching and discipline can’t do. I’ll have her acting like she should be in no time. The only reason I’m letting it slide for now is so she’ll have no problem getting married."

The phone starting ringing making them both turn towards that direction. Picking up the phone Yuta waits for them to speak first.

"Hello? Is the Yuta Okkotsu?" A woman spoke.

"Yes, who is this?" Yuta shrugs at Hakari who was trying to listen in.

"I need a favor from you and was wondering if I could make an appointment with you?" She said.

"Why of course you can, how about tomorrow morning."

"No I need to do it now please, I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it tomorrow." Her voice cracked at the end.

"Yea come on over, my address is-"

Hakari sat in the chair with his arms folded. "Wasn’t this supposed to be a guys night? We’re talking about business here. You need to keep ya clients in check, they walking over you."

Yuta put the phone down and took a sip of his drink. He could feel it running down his throat. "Don’t tell me how to run my business. Get your gun ready."

Usually the ones that run in late come looking for trouble. Last time someone tried to ambush him but luckily his men were on stand by. Tonight he was on his own with Hakari. The house would usually be buzzing. People running in and out and guards would be posted up. They had to go away for the time being. The second the wedding was over they would be back in business. He saw how you acted when he had his men in the back of the car, couldn’t have that again.

Walking out the office Hakari pulled Kirara to the side and whispered into their ear. She gave him a firm nod and ran to grab you from the living room. From the looks of it you seemed to be showing her the wedding plans.

"Girls why don’t you go upstairs in the room. I’ll bring you some tea and …" he turns to look at Hakari who looks at him confused. "Some pastries?"

"Oh Yu that would be wonderful!" You look at him with thoes big doe eyes.

Yuta smiled as you and Kirara walked upstairs. He waited till he saw you guys shut the door to drop the act. Walking to a table that held a big vase he reached his hand under it and pulled a gun out. Hakari pulled his out from his fat coat and loaded it up. The both of them sat in the living room watching the time go by until there was a nock at the door.

Hakari informed Yuta that he made sure Kirara would keep you in no matter what. That lifted some sort of pressure he had on his chest.

The both of them walked to the door and opened it. Outside stood a petite woman with blonde hair in a bob. Her green eyes glistened with tears and her pink lips quivered. Yuta couldn’t believe his eyes, the person who stood in front of them was no other than Ms.Heart.

This had to be done sick joke. Pulling his gun up he aimed it at her head. He wasn’t a fool to fall for something like this. Hakari jumped seeing Yutas action. Usually men would hesitate to kill a woman but Yuta was different.

The woman back up slowly trying to avoid the gun. "Please Don Yuta listen to me, I have an urgent request." She said with a pleading look.

Yuta looked at her dead in the eye, trying to make sure this woman wasn’t deceiving him. When he had finished evaluating her he put him gun down and let her into her office. Hakari followed along pretending to be one of Yutas workers.

"How may I help you today." Yuta said dryly.

"I need you to kill my husband." She said immediately.

If Yuta were drinking he would have spat everything out. That was such a wild request especially coming from his wife. He was confused on why she would want that if she lived such a perfect life because of him. He had so many quest but kept his cool.

"Why is that?"

"He’s a stone cold murderer. Don I just connected the dots to everything. I know who he really is, I know who you are. You guys arnt just ordinary business men, you guys are people who kill for what they want."

Hakari looked nervous. He could see his forehead beginning to damp. If this is how she reacted about the truth then how were you going to react?

"Okay but I don’t understand why you want to set a hit on Hearts."

"Last night I overheard him talking in a meeting. He killed my family because my father didn’t want me to be with him. I thought they got into a freak accident! I also overheard his plans and he’s up to no good Don." She said as she started to breath heavily. "Yuta he’s going to come for you. On your wedding day he’s going t-"

With a blink of the eye she went from talking to having a bullet in the middle of her head. Her jaw went slack as her body became limp. Yuta snapped his head towards Hakari who had his hands up.

"It wasn’t me man, look." Hakari pointed at the window that now had a hole in it.

Yuta ran his hand through his hair. This was starting to get too exhausting. Just when he was about to find out everything but at least he knew were to start. "Get the girls." Grabbing the phone he dialed a number. It rung once, twice, three times until someone picked up the phone.

"Father, I hate asking for favors but you need to move the date to this week."

It didn’t take him much convincing to get everything in line. He then called a group of men by to clean up this mess. He needed to dispose of this body quickly without you seeing but he also needed you near by. Someone had just easily shot a bullet into his house. He had to keep you by his side no matter what. Walking out he finds you sitting in the living room with a concerned look.

"Oh Yu, did you hear that loud gun shot?" You said standing up.

He quickly approached you and sat you right back down. He rubbed you back trying to ease you. "It’s okay, it was just near by." He whispers.

It was absolutely not fine. It was embarrassing knowing that a fool could get so close to his property to do that. That means that people always had the opportunity to kill him in one shot. He would have to build a concrete wall rather than the bar one he had. Maybe some more plants so they could cover the house a bit. More guards on stand by to keep watch.

"I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep on my own tonight. Do you think you can sleep with me?" You say squeezing his right arm.

Maybe this situation was not so bad after all…

Yuta had sent you to help prepare the guest bedroom. Yuta had offered his friend to stay over if they like and well they were scared of getting shot at on their way home. While you occupied yourself with that he let the cleaners in. He also told them to stand guard tonight and they would receive a bonus. Since he had offered his men a month off work and managed to interrupt it.

Leaving the work to them Yuta went upstairs to find you laying in bed already. A genuine smile spread across his face when he say you laying there with an empty spot next to him. If people would of witnessed this they would of thought it was because of you he would say it was because he finally get to sleep in his bed.

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ghostselkie · 2 months

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White raven Dracula au

So that first post I made about a White raven Dracula au was partly a joke, but then I started thinking about it more, and well this is the result of that brain worm.

Warning: this is a bit ramble-y.

Lenore is in the role of dracula, and annabel, at first, is in the roal of jonothan harker.

Lenore being a vampire is a secret that has been kept by the Vandernacht family for generations. Also they live in the Netherlands in this au.

Like in cannon the Vandernacts are ludicrously wealthy, and they using that money to help keep Lenore's vamp-ness a secret. Also cause vampire immortality, and a lack of male heirs when she was a human, she still has the money that existed when she was alive. Now Dutch families can be big, so only the main line knows about her.

As for why they keep her a secret, and not kill her for being an unholy creature of the night is because she is useful. She is probably at least a hundred years old at this point and has accumulated a vast amount of knowledge over the years, she knows more about the families wealth and how to handle it than anyone else. Also her vamp powers make getting info on competitors easier. They have a deal, as long as she does stuff to help them they wont murder her in her sleep.

Now this relationship has kind of soured in reascent years. There is no longer any one who remembers Lenore when she was alive, and no one who remembers hearing stories from people who knew her when she was alive. To the current Vandernachts she is a mysterious and potentially dangerous entity. So Thaddeus comes up with a convoluted plan to get rid of her.

He can't just reveal the secret, cause that would cause Lenore to retaliate. So he comes up with an idea for some one to discover Lenore, and say if they die, there would be enough rage to get people to investigate. This results in Thaddeus getting in contact with Ira, and therefore Annabel getting to stay at castle Lenore.

Now the intended result was that Annabel would either discover that Lenore was a vampire, or she would become one of her victims, as Lenore kind of has a taste for the blood of young women (she doesn't kill them though). What ends up happening is gay as fuck.

Lenore is not nearly as evil as book Dracula. She's more of a nuisance than any thing else, sucking just enough blood to satisfy her, but not leave the human with any lasting damage. She is unholy though, and therefore people are still scared of her, they just can't really do anything cause of the Vandernachts.

Now, Lenore has been a vampire for a long time now. There is no way she is still acting or dressing like a normal victorian woman. Shortly after she became a vampire she realized "wait, I'm an unholy creature of the night. I don't have to be straight," and started cutting her hair short and wearing pants. Current Lenore often wears things akin to her dreamland outfit now, or just men's clothing. So yeah, Annabel will defiantly be gay panicking over Lenore in her dreamland outfit.

It's going to start similar to Dracula, sans the racism (old stories are like that unfortunately), and the fear Jonathan Harker had felt in the original story with Annabel's horny. So this, isn't going to be a horror story, at least not from Annabel's perspective.

Now, as for why they fall in love with each other. For Annabel, the reasons are similar as in cannon. For Lenore though, the reasons are also similar, but with the add on that, Annabel is the first person who is not immediately scared of her, and who doesn't become scared of her once she sees all the spooky vampire shit.

Gayness ensues. The social season happens in the Netherlands, but Annabel and Lenore do stay in touch cause Lenore kinda had to act as her translator, since Annabel didn't end up learning much Dutch. So they get to be together, but Lenore has to watch Annabel meet with other suitors, all while their inevitable separation is looming. Unlike in cannon, however, they both know of a way to be together, but neither of them want to talk about it cause it would involve Annabel being turned in to a vampire. Annabel does end up going back to London to be engaged to her child hood friend, and Lenore, in good old Dracula fashion, fallows her home. Now this is when Annabel transitions from the role of Jonathan to Lucy, except the whole being turned in to a vampire is a lot more consensual.

Vampire lore for this au

#nevermore webtoon #lenore nevermore #annabel lee nevermore #annabel lee x lenore #white raven #lennabel

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fluffysucker · 11 months

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6. Help my lifeless frame to breathe

Bucky Barnes x Reader (AU)

A/N: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

I hope you are enjoying the story so far. Also. I hope I didn’t disappoint with this chapter

Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Bucky couldn't concentrate on anything, trying to remember how he got here in the first place.

He had an important meeting today. A potential deal that could make him lots of profit. He was nervous but knew he could handle it. He was good at this.

The clients showed up on time, and the meeting was going great. He didn't pay much attention to the woman; he didn't care to remember her name. She had been eyeing him ever since she walked in. He was being professional.

The meeting went well. They were able to get the deal for an even higher profit than he thought.

Maybe that would explain how he got here. He met with this woman, whom he found out was called Daisy, in a café shop close to the office. Celebrating the deal, maybe.

The woman seemed nice enough. She was the one to ask him out. He decided now would be a great time to listen to all his friends and family. Move on.

But he couldn't. He was barely listening to what she was saying. It felt wrong. Everything about this felt wrong for him. Him on a date with a woman who asked him out, and he didn't turn it down immediately because he was taken. But he wasn't anymore. That's why he had to move on.

His thoughts stopped abruptly. Daisy put her hand on his, creasing it smoothly. The touch was so foreign that he almost flinched. The touch was so small, but it was unwelcome from him. Daisy was clearly flirting, implementing something more serious than a small touch.

And he tried. He tried to go along but failed. He couldn't. He didn't want her. He didn't want any women. He only wanted one. You

Bucky wanted to hold you last night. Talk to you about the deal. Let you sooth his nerves and comfort him. You were the first person he wanted to call and share the news with. He wanted to celebrate with you. And the fact he couldn't was killing him.

Then it hit him. He wanted you. No, he needed you. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be with other women. It was only you.

It was like everything was finally making sense. He had to fix what he had broken. He shouldn't move on. He should be at home with you and the kids, begging for your forgiveness.

This wasn't working for him anymore. The life he thought he wanted, he absolutely despised. He was miserable. He had to put an end to this.

"Bucky." Surprise was clear in your voice. You just got home and were waiting for the kids to return from school, and he was supposed to be at work.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" Bucky looked distraught despite his collected nature. Did something happen to the kids?

"The kids are fine. I want to talk to you." He read through your mind. He almost forgot you only ever want to talk when it’s stuff regarding the kids.

You nodded and moved to the side of the door to let him in. He looked nervous about coming in but got inside anyway.

"Is everything okay?" You asked, concern filling your voice. He was acting weird.

"No. Nothing is okay." He waited for a second before he gave his answer.

You looked at him, confused and worried, ready to offer your help if you could. He let out the breath he was holding.

"Nothing has been okay ever since we broke up."

It was now or never. He was done being a coward. He was done letting his mind control him. Ruining his life.

"Bucky." You were not going down there again. You just got hold of your life. Gained a bit of normality. The pain wasn't suffocating you as much.

"No. You have to listen to me." Bucky understood why you wouldn't want to listen. But he wasn't giving up this time.

"You're the love of my life. The best thing that ever happened to me. The shining star in my darkness. The warmth to the coldness inside me. The lullaby for my loud, noisy thoughts. The music of my existence. You are my everything. "

"I messed up. I messed up big. I thought this wasn't what I wanted. I let my demons make the decisions for me. It's not true. It was never true."

"You are what I need. You complete me in ways I didn't know were possible. You saved me from myself. You bring me life. You're my life."

"I want to come home to you. I want to hold you and tell you how much you really mean to me. I want to be your husband. Your man. It's what I was meant to be."

"Bucky, you married me because our friends bet whether you were going to propose or not. You liked the challenge of people thinking you could never settle down. And now you are done." You were starting to make peace with it all. You always knew who Bucky was. It was sweet to think you were different. But you weren't. And you are working on that.

"No. I'm not." It hurt Bucky, knowing how this situation made you think—how it made you think his love for you wasn't as big as the ocean.

You were about to say something, but he cut you off. He wasn't going to let you, too, believe the lies his brain told him.

"I married you because I love you. I knew that if I didn't, thousands of men would. I married you because you were the only thing I could think about. Filling my days and nights with colors and light. I married you because I wanted to have this life with you."

"And I'm sorry that my brain tricked me into thinking I didn't. I did. I wanted this. Every inch of this life that I had with you, I wanted. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I'm sorry I ever thought it wasn't." It felt like waking up. Finally, he admitted the truth: All his doubts were nothing.

He was going to make up for his mistakes.

"9 years ago, I got on one knee and asked you to marry me, to be mine, and to let me love you forever."

"This time, I will get on both knees for you." Bucky kneeled to the ground on his knees in front of you. Hesitantly, putting his around your waist. Begging you with eyes to stay and don't push him

"Forgive me, please. Forgive the idiot I am. Forgive how stupid I can be. I'm sorry I shut you out. Made you think it was you. It never was. It has always been me. I never deserved you, but I swear nobody could love you more."

"I'm sorry for all the pain and the hurt. I'm sorry I was the reason for your tears. I'm sorry for never treating you like the precious diamond you are. I'm sorry; I forgot what matters most. You."

"If you would take me back, I promise you I will be the best man I can be." I will make up for my mistakes and wrongs. I will take care of you. I will never push you away. I will spend my life cherishing and loving you."

"And when you get bored again?" You couldn't hide the tremble in your voice. Emotions hit you with full force. There was the one you always loved, on his knees in front of you, saying everything you ever wanted to hear and more.

"I can't get hurt again." He had to know. He had to know you couldn't go through this again.

"You won't. I won't let it happen again. I will share my feelings and worries. I will put you first. I will remember how it felt not to have you by my side. I will be the husband you deserve."

He couldn't hold back the tears anymore. It fell on his face; he needed you to forgive him. To take him back. He knew you shouldn't, that you're not a game to pick and throw away. But he would do anything. He would do whatever it took. He was already on his knees. He would do more. Whatever you want He can't live another day without you.

"Prove it." Your voice was soft, and you looked at him with gentleness.

"Prove you really want me back. That you just don't want to be back home. You want me." You're not trying to play hard to get. But you had to know for sure that it wasn't another phase. Another indecisive episode he was going through.

"Prove, I really mean that much to you." Words were easy. You needed action this time. You needed to be sure. You needed to safety from your fears.

"Earn me." You already knew you were going to get back together. You would forgive him eventually. You loved him that much. However, Bucky had to work for it. He had to show you his love. His love for you

Bucky couldn't help but smile. He rested his head on your stomach, feeling like a stone had been lifted off his chest. There was hope for you. You didn't turn him down or throw him out of the house. You were willing to try. You were giving him an opportunity. A chance back to your heart. And God knows he would never screw it up.

He moved his head to look you in the eyes. He saw it. The light that kept him going. The hope for a new start. He got up, looking at you with determination in his eyes. Bucky was going to win you back.

"I promise you won't regret it." He had to reassure you. You made the right decision.

"Be ready by 7," Bucky said as he went to leave.

"What? Today?" You turned to him as he was moving towards the door.

"Yes. Dress nice." He was wasting time. He wasted enough.

"I can't find a babysitter now." You couldn't help but laugh. He was really serious.

"I will figure it out. See you." Bucky didn't leave you room to protest. He left the house, and the phone was already in his hand, making all the calls needed.

Taglist: @lethallyprotected @almosttoopizza @ragingrainbowshipl @dexter99 @xdarkcreaturex @nash-dara @paarthurnax59 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @unaxv @missmielyhoran @wintermischief @kandis-mom @aboobie @ozwriterchick @pattiemac1 @noahspickettfence

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queermania · 1 year

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Ok so I have a real question not trying to start discourse or any thing. If Dean knew how he felt about Cas slash knew he liked men why was he always so weird about gay people. I can see a reading where Dean knew how he felt about Cas but not one where he knew he was bi

this is totally a fair question and i don't think there's any one True reading or interpretation of the show/characters so it really just depends on what version of events resonates the most with you. the way the picture makes the most sense to me is that dean is a guy who was raised in the 80s-90s in a hyper-masculine environment with zero stability. i think all of those puzzle pieces slotted into place in his brain in a way that said "sex with men is okay, feelings are not." a furtive hookup with a dude in a seedy bar bathroom is fine. going on a date with a guy is prohibited.

and the thing is that this is kind of true for dean when it comes to women as well. a one night stand is a-okay. falling in love and settling down is not. so, you take that sort of mentality and then apply all the homophobia of growing up in the eighties and the nineties and a life lived out of a car bouncing between truck stops and, well, you get a dean who is absolutely flabbergasted when confronted with the fact that not only are you allowed to want something romantic with a man, you're allowed to say it out loud to other people. you're allowed to have it.

dean wasn't weird about gay people, necessarily. he was weird about people who were able to just be themselves. he didn't know that was an option. also, i don't know about y'all but as a queer person who doesn't necessarily read as queer at a glance, i too get Very Awkward when confronted with another queer person in the wild and it's not because i'm homophobic. it's because oh! new friend! must send telepathic signals that me queer too! my behavior around other queer people in queer spaces does not match my behavior around other queer people in random public spaces. i'm embarrassing and i see that part of myself in dean lol.

and dean being weird about other people making comments about his perceived queerness, to me, is a very normal reaction for a closeted person (or even someone who is selectively and/or quietly out). you can be perfectly at peace with who you are and still not want to be clocked. like???? homophobia is not a thing of the past. dean grew up during the AIDS crisis. he was, what? nineteen years old when matthew sheppard was killed? his reactions to people insinuating he might be anything even close to queer make perfect sense for someone his age, living the life that he did.

also, like, here's the thing: i realized i was queer when i was about eleven and i freaked out about it for about a day and then promptly suppressed the whole thing because of a deeply traumatizing childhood. being queer was the least of my worries and there was never any time to unpack it and deal with it so i just didn't. and then when i was about nineteen i started to have queer sexual/romantic relationships but continued to suppress the fact that EYE was in fact queer because, again, i didn't really have the space to unpack it. it wasn't until i was about twenty-three and surrounded by other queer people (in a platonic way) that i finally felt safe to fully admit to myself and to other people that i was in fact queer. and then i never really did a whole coming out thing. i just... lived my life openly as a queer person and let other people figure it out.

my point in all this is that i feel like my general experience/trajectory lines up really well with how i view dean's. he had a very traumatic upbringing so while he knew he was attracted to men, he had no time or space to deal with it. that didn't stop him from having sex with men, but he never really unpacked what it actually meant. it wasn't until he was older and had openly queer friends that he felt safe enough to fully acknowledge that part of himself. and then.. that was it. he just lived his life as a queer man. like, i feel like we actually watched that happen over the course of the show???

most importantly, i cannot handle any reading where everyone else knows dean is queer but dean does not know himself. i especially loathe the idea that sam Knows and has to explain dean's own sexuality to himself. that is so ugly. dean is a very self-aware person. you could even argue he is perhaps too self-aware at times.

anyway, this is all obviously just a watsonian explanation of dean's relationship to his queerness. it doesn't even touch on the doylist stuff but that's a whole can of worms i'm not really interested in opening on tumblr dot edu right now.

so, yeah. that's my personal reading.

#replies #anonymous #dw #queer!dean #mp

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suniloli · 3 months

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BOILING POINT p3

7 Feb 2024

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x fem!reader

Word Count: 3.8K (dayum)

Warnings: Swearing, sexual themes, crude language, description of blood and violence, angst

Setting: Prison (between s3 and 4)

Summary: It’s the next day at the prison, and you’re feeling good. However, something is said which is way over the boundary of acceptable. Is this truly it?

Author Note: Final part! And obviously who wants to read a fic of two people fighting for like 72 years? I know most readers probably wouldn’t act this way. But too bad >:) I’m thinking this might be a bit out of character for Daryl…but it amuses me so why not? I hope the carrot joke makes sense. I also hope the 'pay off' isn't rushed. (This gif is funny) -Sol

Part 1 / Part 2

Surprisingly, the next morning you were much more chipper. The sun was shining brightly through your cell curtain, and you could hear the chatter and laughter of people in the prison. Today’s gonna be a good day you smiled to yourself.

You tried to forget yesterday. You guessed crying it all out and venting to Rick must’ve allowed your brain to finally come to the beginnings of peace, and to let go of this whole thing with Daryl. He didn’t want a relationship with you anymore. And, who cares if he wanted one anyway? It’s hurting you too much. It’s hurting you both.

You were done.

So, no matter what happened, today was going to be good. You could feel it.

Normally you hated doing stuff in the garden, but today it was quite therapeutic. Bound to have some mighty tan lines with the sun beating down on your singlet-bearing skin, you fixed up your gloves. Wiping a bead of sweat from your hairline, you adjusted your sunglasses and pushed yourself up from your crouched position. Sighing contentedly, you observed the hustle and bustle of the mid-morning prison activity.

There were plenty of people in the courtyard sitting together in groups talking and laughing, sharing in the day’s glow. You could see Carol and some other women conversing and preparing some stuff in the outdoor kitchenette. Across the other side of the grounds, Glenn was teaching a group of people some combat skills. Turning around, you looked up to the watchtowers and saw Maggie and Sasha. You reciprocated Sasha’s wave and Maggie’s smirk and turned around when you felt a presence behind you.

“Hey Beth!” you greeted with a pat on her shoulder.

“Hey Y/N. Bringin’ round some water to everyone.”

“Thanks,” you said, eagerly grabbing a glass and chugging it within a couple of seconds. Handing it back to Beth with a grin, you added, “What? It’s hot out.”

Giggling, she agreed and placed the tray on the ground. “I can already see the burn on your shoulders…don’t be turnin’ into a lobster now!”

Nudging her with your elbow, you feigned offence. “I tan beautifully, thank you very much.”

Your banter was interrupted by a group of people from Woodbury. A few hey’s and friendly exchanges were made, mainly between Beth and them. They were a bunch of younger teens, some of which you recognised. The one with glasses was Patrick, who you liked because he was fond of Carl. And another was Zach. He was the one giving Beth rather flirtatious glances. Cute.

You waited until they left before speaking. “You get along pretty well with that Zach guy…”

“Hmm?”

You smiled. “Zach. The guy who was giving you flirty eyes.”

“What?! No he wasn’t…” Beth looked down shyly.

“Uh, yeah he was. The dude was flirting with you big time. For the record, I think it’s cute.”

“Do you think so?” Beth asked. Oh, to be a teenager with a crush again.

“YES. FYI, we’re living in the apocalypse. So if I were you, I’d go for it. Time is truly of the essence these days…” you mused.

“I’ll make you a deal…if I make a move, you have to too.”

A huff of air escaped your nostrils. “With whom exactly?” You humoured. You realised what she was hinting at until it was too late.

“Daryl of course. And for your information,” Beth paused, a cheeky expression taking over her face. “I saw the two of you that one time…behind the stables…”

“Uhhh…”

“My window was open…” she said sheepishly. You didn’t say anything. “He likes you, I can tell — ”

“That was a mistake. What…happened…meant nothing.” You tried to divert.

“As you said, time is of the essence. You should talk to him.” You could see her deliberating something in her mind. The next second, she brought you in for a tight hug which caught you off guard. “I…heard yesterday…it ain't very nice what he said. I’m sorry…”

Slowly returning the embrace, you took a long breath. “Well, I’m over it.”

Looking up at you, she sighed and gave you the best puppy dog eyes she could muster. “Well," she began, in an attempt to lift the mood, "As long as you know that I love you Y/N, and I’ll never let you go!” She squeezed tighter around your waist.

“Get out of here!” You laughed, trying to push her off and away from you. “Go hand out some more drinks!” Beth released a hearty laugh as she picked up the tray and headed to the other workers.

You looked down at your half-full bucket of harvested veggies. You sighed deeply. You just couldn’t escape him.

Fuck.

It was much closer to lunchtime when you approached the main courtyard. It was as if the people could sense that it was going to be served soon. However, as you approached, the delicious smell emanating from the kitchen space would’ve had you all antsy too if you’d been around.

“Howdy ladies,” You drawled. “Stew smells ab-so-lutely divine. Delicious. Delectable.” Placing your yield in front of an amused Carol, you pinched a carrot and munched on it slightly obnoxiously. Receiving a look of feigned disgust from her, you were satisfied.

“You like the letter D I see” she quipped. You hadn’t noticed someone standing by your side when you pointed your carrot to her and tried to keep a straight face.

“I certainly do like the D. But the kind exactly like this carrot. Thick…real girthy…”

A beat of silence before Carol burst out laughing. Your laughter was getting difficult to hold. You could feel the air being held captive in your lungs as you attempted to hold your breath. Eyes still sparkling, she looked a little to your right, pointing with the utensil in her hand.

“Like his D, I’m sure…”

You turned to see none other than Daryl, who seemed to be waiting with a pained expression. Based on his odd-looking grimace, you awkwardly assumed he’d heard everything.

Carol…you bastard.

You looked back to Carol, whose mischievous smirk turned slightly perplexed at his demeanour. Unbeknownst to you, Carol was thinking about her and Daryl’s conversation yesterday, and how she’d seemingly gotten through to him. She thought that you two had talked and ‘made up’. Guess not…

“Real classy, ain’t ya?” he spoke under his breath.

You got it wrong. Today was not going to be a good day.

As Daryl nearly threw a cut of raw meat down on the bench for its use in the stew, you attempted to keep it nonchalant.

“Lighten up Daryl,” you smirked, pausing for a couple of seconds. He looked up at you. You couldn’t help but stir the pot. Just a little. If not for yourself, but for the reaction of your friend next to you, you told yourself. “It’s not like I’m missing out on anything,” you said sarcastically, giving Daryl’s body a once over. You were about to ignore him and continue with Carol until you heard his voice, more of a growl than an actual utterance.

“Don’t seem like ya missin’ out on any dick lately.”

You could sense a silence overtake the people in the kitchenette. You don’t think you’ve ever heard Daryl be that vulgar before. But, you were incensed at his insinuation. Did you hear what you thought you did?

“......What?”

Daryl went to stalk off, but you moved forward, gripped his forearm, and turned him back around harshly.

“WHAT?”

“Ya heard me.” He spat. You were completely baffled. You had no idea what he was talking about. You did what you could to try and remain calm.

“What. Are you fucking on about?” you said slowly. You attempted to clench your fists at your sides to subdue the growing feeling. Your heart rate was beginning to rise. This was not good. And you still hadn’t even finished your carrot.

Staring you up and down, he seemed to consider you. But just as the softness in his eyes was there, it quickly vanished, and in its place was something sad and bitter.

Daryl aggressively chewed his bottom lip. “How bout’ ya just go find some desperate dick to warm ya bed.”

“Daryl!” Carol chastised. You glanced at her, at a complete loss for words.

You were barely aware of the growing crowd of people who were wondering what the commotion was about. However, that was your last straw. You’d had it with him and his emotional back and forth. Daryl’s face was looking punchable as fuck.

Holding back tears, it was like something possessed you. “You FUCK —”

"Y/N!" Carol yelled. Before she could stop you, you landed a beautiful left hook to Daryl’s nose. Immediately a rivulet of red poured from his nostrils. Daryl was stunned, to say the least.

“Uugghh!” Holding his face, he removed his hands to look at them. Daryl immediately moved forward to push you. “What tha' hell Y/N?!”

Luckily for you, your adrenaline had given you ultra instincts. You didn’t even register the pain in your hand as you deflected his own. Out of pure anger, you managed to shove both of you to the ground.

Half straddling him, you managed to lay a few good punches into his face, before Daryl realised his strength. Kneeing you in the guts, momentarily winding you, he flipped you over, and mid-flip his right hook made contact with your left eye. You could feel your eyebrow split open and felt something warm gush down your face.

You could vaguely hear children screaming and yelling in the distance. You thought you could see a crowd of people running towards you, but you were too blinded by your hurt (and blood). The both of you got another few good hits in until it became what could only be described as a cartoonish scuffle on the ground. It would’ve been comical if not for the blood and damage you’d inflicted upon the other.

“Fuck you, Daryl!!” You screamed. “Ooof!” Daryl had managed to pin you to the ground, holding both of your arms in place. Wiggling and squirming, you used all of your might to attempt to get out of his grip.

Daryl, just as fuelled, looked down at you from above. Time seemed to stop. You looked pained. There was blood pooling over and into your whole left eye. He was sure he looked just as bad, if not, worse. But what made him pause was seeing tears escape and roll down the sides of your face as you cursed and screamed and writhed like a maniac. He barely registered the “fucking get off me!” you hurled at him.

Just as he was about to loosen his grip, two sets of hands pulled him roughly away, two other people doing the same to you.

“That’s ENOUGH!” Rick bellowed. Sasha and Maggie rushed to wave off the circle that had surrounded you.

“The hell’s wrong with you?” Carol scolded, shocked. She tried to tend to you, but you pushed her away.

Trying to wipe your face of the blood there, you pointed your finger at him. “You’re such a prick!”

Daryl stayed silent with his signature steely expression, breathing heavily.

“I’m done with your shit! Whatever is fucking bothering you, you better talk, or…or you’re fucking dead to me…” He watched as a lone tear made its way down your cheek. It moved, tracing the underside of your jaw, before trickling off into the depths below.

One second. Two seconds. Ten seconds passed.

You sucked in a sharp breath. He thought he saw disappointment in your expression. Rick, Carol, and Glenn were glancing at each other exasperatedly. They dared not move in case you both started up again.

“Say something for god's sake.”

Daryl’s expression softened, however, his gaze was as piercing as ever. He wiped his nose and winced in pain as his fingers came back bloodied. He didn’t know where to start.

You scoffed. You began to walk back towards the prison.

“I remember tha’ night on tha' farm.” Daryl suddenly declared. Rick glanced over at Daryl with an understanding gaze, and subtly motioned with his head to Carol and Glenn to leave the two of you alone. You however stopped dead in your tracks, your back to him. “I think bout’ it all tha' time.”

You slowly turned to look at him. He was met with your inquisitive, yet fiery gaze.

“What’s your fucking problem then?”

Daryl saw so many pictures flash through his mind. He saw his childhood home burning to ashes, his mother inside. He saw his dad and that leather belt buckle shining in the light of the window. He was reminded of Merle, who left him all alone to bear it all on his own back, literally and figuratively. Suddenly, Merle morphed into his older form, and his insults echoed in his mind. Daryl replayed Merle dying and leaving him for good. He replayed you leaving him.

Daryl’s shoulders sagged a bit. The more he thought about the bad things in his life, the more he was reminded of the good in it. Daryl discovered that in his redemption, Merle had truly loved him. Right now at the prison, he had a found family who cared for him, and would probably die for him. He had you. He was so lucky to have you. He never dared entertain the thought, but you’d probably die for him too. He’s the one who pushed it all away. Daryl didn’t want you to hurt him, and leave him like everyone else did.

So, to answer your question: he was the problem.

After a couple of seconds of contemplation, Daryl spoke quietly, but resolutely.

“Me. Ma’ problem is me.”

“What does that even mean, Daryl? Because I’ve been trying to fix things this whole time, and you keep pushing me away!”

Daryl raised his voice. “We ain't’ ever gon’ be good anyway!”

You observed him for a long moment. You’d had deep conversations with him before. You knew of his past and he knew of yours. You knew he had it rough before the end of the world. But Daryl was a fighter. He kept on, even in hard times. Deep down, he was a shy, compassionate, and in your opinion, mistakenly self-conscious man, the latter of which you attributed to his upbringing. Knowing that you’d gotten so close, just for him to reject everything the two of you went through together made you even more frustrated.

“So you think everything we’ve been through was for nothing then? The way that we were means nothing to you?” With slightly less fire, you added, “The things we’ve done and what you’ve said to me…you never meant any of it?”

You could see Daryl struggling to bare himself completely. But when he looked up and into your pleading eyes, you saw the last of his defences crumble away. His next words were almost whispered in the wind.

“I meant it. And I still mean it.”

“Then why have you been so unfair?”

“‘Cause ya just gon’ end up leavin’ me!” He admitted. Daryl abruptly moved so he was in front of you. In your periphery, you saw him raise his hand, but he moved it back down to his side again, seemingly thinking against whatever he was going to do.

It was all so real now. Daryl pushed through his combativeness. This time, he did reach a hand up to your face, and ever so tenderly wiped the blood out of your eye from under your brow. You held back a flinch. Daryl caught it. However, he spoke his words so gently you would have never guessed that the two of you were involved in something so violent mere minutes before.

Looking at the damage he’d caused, he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. It only spurred on his thoughts of the previous night. “I won’ ever deserve ya’ anyways with how I’ve treated ya’. You’ll be better off with Rick or some other guy —”

You shook your head in disagreement.

“How could you have ever thought that I wanted to be around someone else? Has it not been clear this whole time how much I...like you?”

Daryl began biting his lip anxiously. It was clear to him, but deep down he refused to believe the extent to which you did.

“I appreciate you so much, Daryl! That’s why this whole thing’s been killing me! To have someone hurt me so much when things were so good…” He felt your head slowly shake against his hand. You inhaled deeply. “I’ve never hit anyone like that before. You just...you made me so fucking angry!” You abruptly grabbed his wrist and shoved his hand away from your face, taking a step back. He saw a hurt flash in your eyes again. “How dare you just insinuate that I’m what? A slut? That I’m sleeping around?” You were pacing now. “What business is it of yours anyway?” You sassed. “You’ve been so dismissive and rude that you shouldn’t even —”

“Goddamnit woman!” Daryl exclaimed. Surprisingly, he managed to stop you in your tracks, your mouth shutting with a clink of your teeth. “I’m scared alrigh’! I’m scared that I’m gon’ mess you up! That I’ll never be good enough fer ya’...I’m…I’m scared that somehow, somethin’s gon’ happen to ya’, or somehow, ya’ gon’ be taken from ma’ life like everyone else...”

For once, you were the one with nothing to say.

All Daryl wanted to do at that moment was give in to his desire for closeness. His desire for your touch once again. But he was still in the grips of insecurity. “And cause’ I’ve been such an asshole, ya’ve moved on and I don’ blame ya’. A-And seeing ya’ with other people…I ain't ever gonna be worth your time…”

“Are you seriously telling me that you’re not good enough for me? Daryl, if anything…never in my wildest dreams could I have conjured up a man as good as you in my own life.”

Etched into his face was still disbelief in your words. How many times did you need to tell him?

“No matter how much you infuriate me and piss me off,” you started, “No matter how things are between us, I’m never going to leave you. Ever.”

Daryl’s breath caught in his throat as he listened. He struggled to process the weight of your words.

“Nah, nah...I don’ think ya’ —”

“I'm fuckin' in love with you Daryl!” You yelled. “Is that blatant enough? Do you get it now?”

All he could do was look at you. Even all bruised and bloodied, even with your dishevelled hair and stressed demeanour, you were the most beautiful thing to him at that moment. Your eyes began to well up with tears. Your voice broke when you spoke next.

“So just please tell me if you want this to end, because I can’t do this back and forth anymore —”

Daryl purposefully strode over to you, and cut you off by grabbing your face, giving your lips a very chaste kiss. It took a couple of seconds for you to realise what was happening. When you did, your body moved into his, and you placed your hands on his sides, slowly snaking them around his back.

This kiss became more intense. More desperate. So much more emotion and feeling was expressed in this melding of your mouths. You both had been away from each other for so long, that once you touched again, it was like you became addicted.

“Mmmm…” you moaned against his lips.

Before it could get too hot and heavy, Daryl breathlessly pulled away. Still cupping your face, he looked directly into your eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I didn’t sort ma’ shit out. That I caused ya’ so much pain.”

“I’m sorry too…”

“Nah…it’s ma’ fault. And ya’ still stuck around. This whole time...ya stuck around...”

You both caught your breath, staring into each other’s eyes. You missed looking into those circles of blue. You missed this feeling.

“I love ya’ Y/N. I always will.”

You ducked your head and placed a delicate kiss on his lips. He chased yours until both of your mouths were granting the other entry. This time, the kiss wasn’t as rough, but it was just as intense, if not even more passionate. All you could hear were the wet sounds of your tongues tasting each other. Your hand moved from his back to his shoulders, feeling the rippling muscle there.

One of Daryl’s hands moved from your cheek to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss still. His other made its way across your shoulder to your waist, which he gave a loving squeeze. It was like now that you’d come together again, you just couldn’t stop.

Your little bubble of heated desire was interrupted by the sounds of…squealing?

Roughly breaking apart from each other, you looked to Daryl who seemingly thought the same thing you did. Still gripping onto each other's bodies, you both turned your heads towards the commotion and immediately flushed with embarrassment.

Your main family stood not too far away, hollering like idiots. There were a bunch of kids screaming, but excitedly. You were certain that you’d scared them with your brawl earlier. Now they seemed joyous. Most of the people from Woodbury just stood around and stared in shock.

You looked down shyly and softly pushed Daryl’s body away from yours. “Asshole…” He was back to chewing his thumbnail. Some of the two things you both had in common was your stubbornness and your hate of being the centre of attention. Especially like this.

“Finally…ain’t that a sight for sore eyes…” Rick mused.

Carol was still a bit dazed at her two best friends beating each other up. “Leave it to them to sort it out with their fists…”

“They did more than sort it out! ” Beth laughed.

Daryl removed his thumb from his mouth. “You might wanna get ya’ eye checked out...” he grunted, nodding to the bruising around it.

“You might want to get your nose set back into place.” You retorted.

For the first time in a long time, you heard one of your favourite sounds. A deep rumble escaped from Daryl’s chest. His laughter was the most beautiful music to your ears.

You beamed at him, unable to hide your admiration.

Today may have been shitty. You may have been bruised, battered and sore. Daryl equally so. But this moment right now wasn’t just good.

It was brilliant.

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