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pufflocks · 3 years

Note

Kuroo x bottom male reader, maybe readers riding him?

Summary: Honestly in my mind–, I believe if Kuroo had someone sitting on his cock I believe he would be so touchy. Touchy and impatient— Touching the readers curves and rubbing on his thighs until he couldn't take it anymore. ♡

"You- You are so fucking tight- ugh, I love it." -T.K ❣

Warnings: Slight degrading • Groping • Cum eating • Proof read • porn without plot

Cast: Bottom!M!Reader x Kuroo Tesuro //Kenma Kozumane//

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It was an alluring Friday. Volleyball club didn't have another practice until next week. Leaving an eventful evening afterschool for a certain couple.

"Phew I'm fuckin' exhausted-" Tetsurou exhaled stretching out his long limbs. Many people, according to Y/N would kill for his height. Yet he was always saying how much he hated it. Words only to tick his boyfriend off – which it did.

The rooster haired male slicked back his sweat covered hair. "Oi, kenma I'm gonna head out first since my oh so handsome boyfriend wanted me to take him home early." Kenma nodded quietly, chugging his water down quietly. He gathered his belongings along with the other members of the team.

'I wonder why he needs a chaperone to walk him home..' Kenma sighed. Shaking off the thought since it was not his business. Besides that he started picking up some stray volleyballs. Faster he does this the faster he gets home to play video games with his boyfriend.

You however, was just about to get out of your last period. Thinking about some random things to get out of the fact you and nekomas volleyball captain sending eachother lewd glances throughout the day. One action led to another throughout the day.

You sitting in the back of class softly giggling to yourself once while at your phone and blushing at other texts. Some texts were cute flirts like "I can't wait to see you" or "Coach is being extra angry. He needs pop a chocky milk" Leading to a raging tent in your pants in your last class period when he sent a slick nude of a boner he accumulated in the past hour. Ugh— The clock nearing 3 PM setting you slight edge in your seat.

BRING !

'Thankfully the teacher didn't see me with my phone.'

Sighing tremendously you snatched up your bag that had a cheesy volleyball sticker in nekomas colors with a big number '1' on it. Gifted by your yours truly, Tetsurou Kuroo aka rooster bf. A small nickname you gave him in your guys' first year.

You chuckled at your own humor as you bumped into someone the way out of your classroom.

"Ah-!" You failed to finish your small mental comedy show as your overly tall boyfriend encased you in a nearly bone crushing hug. Lovingly of course.

Your not so obvious erection slightly catching contact on his muscular thigh. "You scared me tetsu- Come on lets go." You grab hold of the mans hand in dire need to fix your lower situation, pronto. One think you hated about your boyfriend was how much of a tease he so unashamedly was.

You both agreed, over text to leave early to do it after class since he didn't have practice today.

"What's the rush doll ? You were just teasing me with that I wanna ride you BS over the phone." He snickered. Face automatically bloomed red as you scoffed in face. Pushy bastard he is.

"Yeah yeah. Come on before people see-" And before you knew it. Your boyfriend took one glace down south to notice you weren't lying. Your small cock pressing up against the unformed pants.

'Cute how eager he is~' he mentally mused.

He took this opportunity to just drag you to an already emptied classroom. The school seemed to empty out earlier on Fridays, you thought. Slowly coming back to your own senses you see just how peckish he really was. Air thickening. Your noticable shudders of arousal not going unnoticed.

"God,, I need you right now." No other words were conversed between you two as he eagerly ripped and tugged the cloth off your smaller frame. Canines slightly nipping at now heated skin and grabbing wherever his hands could easily roam. Sloppy kisses to your neck making you gasp and make your penis twitch in gratitude.

"Please tetsu.. I want it badly~" You moaned wantonly as he was gripping some belly fat lovingly. Tetsurou grinned as if he was a wolf in the night howling at the moon.

Grabbing a nearby chair, after he let you go with a small peck to your nose he sat down and shrugged off his trousers. Hard organ slapping on his lean stomach. The sight making you purr in the presence of this 'wolf'

'I can't wait to fucking ride him..'

The sight of his cock made you rub your legs together eagerly. A small "Hm..~" erupting from your throat. Oh god did it not only have girth and a red bulge of its head – His length and overall cock had been mesmerized in your small pink hole.

"Wanna ride you Tetsu.." you mewled already palming the hard on in your now very tight pants.

He pulled you closer and gripped your chin to make you look at him as he stroked his cock teasingly, "Wanna ride me dry and see if you can come undone or vise verse but you blow me ? Which is it sweetheart ?" Darting dark eyes your way as he audibly purred. Kind to not so kind kisses being placed to your collarbone making you shiver as his cold lips met your hot skin.

New hickies you never minded showing off, just as much as he never minded giving you to show off.

The choices were hanging heavy on your tongue, now realizing his question. Almost obediently, in one swift motion you got down your knees willingly let him unravel you with his slim eyes.

"Such a lucky ass man I am~"

Fuck you wanted him so bad.

"You gonna blow me my pretty Y/N ?" He said stroking your cheek as if you were the most rarest diamond from his thief heist. To him you were not only rare, but valuable beyond his mind.

Grasping hold of his member you lick up his shaft kissing here and there. Making quick work to get to the main course.

Tetsurou smiled. His pretty boy serving his cock like it was something holy. Before he knew it you started gulping down his length. Slobber dribbling at the creases of your mouth. Pretty eyes of yours making their ways to your rooster headed lover.

"Fuck-! Baby I'ma fuckin' cum-" He groaned, head flying backward as you got off hearing him announce he was gonna shoot down your throat. Swallowing every. Single. Drop.

"Shit.. You gonna take daddies cum baby ? Yeah ? Where you want it ? Tell me babes." He was tapping his cock against your now plump and messy lips as he stroked himself off to your filthy face. Fuck, he was using your face for his own pleasure. You wanted him to know how much you enjoyed this.

"Mm- I want it in my mouth!~ please stick your cock deep down my throat daddy!~" You whined pathetically stroking your own leaking cock and using your own arousal for lube. The lewd squlching noises invading your ears.

He snorted at your poor attempts at getting yourself off and opened your jaw enough to shove all the way in down your throat. Tears prickling and threatening to fall down your face. You let out small gags leading to moans from the action as he shot down your throat. You swallowed his seed successfully, sticking out your tongue to show you did.

"Such a pretty boy.. Fuck such pretty boy." Tetsurou praised as he wiped the tears you ignored from your puffy eyes. Also unnoticing the ringing one of your phones was doing. You didn't care though. "We ain't done yet though. Get your sweet ass up here my prince." You joyfully obliged as he helped you off your knees seeing they were red. He started rubbing small circles and kissing your bare shoulders. A way of saying sorry for making you be on yourknees for so long.

'So caring~' You groggily giggled to yourself due to your throat being slightly sore from your guys' previous actions. Damn he was rough this time. Does being found out really get him this riled up ?

He cocked an eyebrow, "What's wrong ? Did a do something silly ?" He wore his signature smirk. The one you loved and hated. A calming and goofy aura being replaced with the once heated lustful one. All you could do was giggle again and cup his face in the moment. Just enjoying him.

"You're just so caring with me and I love you for moments like these." You confessed. Heart beating erratically as he chuckled kissing your nose.

"I know. I'm a big ass softy for my boyfriend believe it or not." You rolled your eyes jokingly. You loved this man, but you also loved his cock which by the way, still hasn't gone soft yet.

Turning around in his lap you wrapped your arms and legs around his form as you whispered alluringly. "Let me do the work cuz my dick is aching now and I needa cum stupid bad." You smiled devilishly. He once again for the umpteenth time, chuckled at your words and throwing his hands up.

"No hands my prince. No hands." You nodded. Knowing full well he would lose it half way of your quote unquote dominance.

You slowly and steadily began inserting his member inside. God, the stretch you fucking waited for was heavenly. Making it all the more nearly impossible to not close your eyes in delight.

Sucking through his teeth your boyfriend let out a long "Fuuuck..~" as groaned instinctively grasping onto your hips. On a loose thread of keeping his promise of letting you in control.

"God, you're so fucking- huge-! Testu~" You whined already grinding the rest of length into your now gaping hole. The feeling all too familiar to your body. Soon beginning to bounce up and down with pure greed. Not giving the slightest flying fuck if someone were to see you through the small class window as you were rolling your eyes back in ecstasy like a expert porn star.

"You- You're so fucking tight.. Ugh- fuck I love it !~" He moaned out aggressively as your bouncing only quickened at his words slapping sounds got louder. "Who's fucking cock are you riding Y/N ?" He growled and huffed bear your neck. His breath tickling the hairs in the area.

Noticing he didn't get any answer to his no rhetorical question, Tesurou slapped your ass harshly leaving a delicious itchy feeling rupture in the spot his heavy hand slammed on. You lost it as an almost unbearable amount of pre ran down your cock.

"You- Ah!~ Fuck it's you Testu!~ Your cock- Ah-!~ is hitting me in all the right places oh my fucking god!-" You shrieked small little tears making their way down your ruined face.

'This slut is really egging me the fuck on today~' Tetsurou mentally grinned.

Not only did he like the words coming out of your mouth, but he lived for those damn tears of diamond racing out the corners of your eyes. "

"Fuck it. I'm pounding the shit out of this ass." He mumbled to himself as he snatched you off of his body as if it was completely nothing and pressed you forward on a desk, your perky nipples grazing the cold school furniture.

He took a second to adjust his angle until ramming into your prostate directly dead on as you let out a high pitched warble. Anyone could mistake your voice for a females out of context. "Fuck-! fuck- MM— FUCK YES~" you moaned as your cock swung heavily in between your legs as Tetsurou began deep stroking every corner inside you. The feelings making your mind go numb.

"Baby boy I'm finna blow my load~ Who the fuck is fucking your shit up right ? Huh ?~" Testu's snarled in your ear. Snatching you up by your neck up to his sweaty hard chest. Your bodies creating an almost unbearable heat between you both.

You whined in a needy voice as the feeling of your prostate getting hammered repeatedly. "YOU DADDY~ YOU YOU YOU~!!! GOD LEMME CUM FUUUCK—" His grip on your neck did not falter as his pace only got faster. Quickly gripping your slick penis and jerked you off all the while placing delectable light kisses around your bruised neck and shoulders. You were nearly seeing stars with overstimulation and his contrast of touch.

"That's exactly what I like to hear my amazing boy~" Tetsurou hips stuttered as you came hard, your eyes rolling back and drool sliding down your jaw. Coming straight after your release he gave one last deep push cumming deep down in your tight little ass. "Fuck babe..- Fuck-" He panted smiling lazily, grip already faltering around your neck. He never would forgive himself if he accidentally choked you to death.

Since you guys literally just fucked in a classroom, aftercare had to be done differently. Slowly laying his head on your shoulder, rubbing your hips and doing anything to ease any after pain off your body. Maybe you'll let him try out a cream he uses on himself after volleyball. Eases the joints and moisturizes your body.

Such a loving boyfriend you bad.

"I love you so damn stinkn' much Y/N.. God I'm so fucking lucky I swear." You chuckled, 'cause he always seemed to be so emotional after you guys had sex. You thought it was cute coming from him. "Let's get out of here cuz' we already stayed here for half an hour." You stated pushing the tall male off your body, much to his unpleasant dismay. He only hummed in response.

"Your house or mine ?" He questioned after pulling up his pants and tugging his extra volleyball shirt on. You stretched while yawning a bit. Sex is tiring.

"Yours. My parents will automatically smell the sex on me and no cologne can cover that." Giggling softly at your statement your boyfriend nodding in a agreement.

"Let's just hope they dont find out we once fucked in your living room-" You glared at him as he stopped, snickering at how cute his boyfriend looked after being roughed up.

"Let's go so we can cuddle now please." You softly pleaded as you tugged his shirt tiredly. You know the first thing you were gonna do when you got to his house was instantly plop smack on his oversized bed.

"Let's go my prince."

Bees are pretty..

Zenna, no.

#male reader #hq kuroo #kuroo x reader #kuroo x male reader #haikyuu x male reader #x reader #haikyuu smut #smut #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x you

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burnedbyshoto · 3 years

Text

a nurses job

— Bakugou breaks his arms and as a nurse, you have the responsibility to make sure that he is comfortable, even when he needs to use the bathroom.

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pairing: pro hero!bakugou katsuki x nurse fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, prohero!bakugou, golden showers/water sports/piss kink, degradation (giving), dirty talk, lusting/pining, handjobs

word count: 5,050

a/n: so, I was going to make this a piss in ur mouth and pussy type of fic, but I kept seeing all those beautiful bakugou piss arts where he’s with a nurse.... so this is inspired and brought upon by all the water sports bakugou x nurse art ive seen for three months.

kinktober day 21 main kink: piss | kinktober masterlist

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You’re not quite sure what persuaded you into wanting to become a nurse as a child.

Maybe it was because your quirk (when you hum at an A flat, everyone within 5 meters experiences accelerated healing properties) was useless for Pro Hero work, so you realized early on that being a Pro Hero was a distant dream. Maybe it was because medical staff were still hailed as everyday heroes despite being in a world with people who could perform extraordinary achievements. It started as a small obsession to prove to the soon to be jobless, dream broken, and graduated failures of the hero course high schools that you had done more than them. That you, unlike them, were recognized as a hero.

You were decent with math and science, so you strove for medical school. But with the horrendous costs of schooling, your then living situation, and your dislike of unneeded and unwanted competitive stress, you deterred toward the nursing pathway. It was a pathway where you really found yourself, or at least, you thought so.

Empathy, emotion, and the need to see people come out of a hospital better than when they entered was something that grew on you quickly and obviously. Your earliest clinical rounds often left you with swollen, tired feet from walking around for restless hours, but with a smile on your face that was irreplicable. With every semester in school, you got better, connected better with your patients. Your feet still ache after long shifts, and sometimes your smile is hollow and broken, and if you look closely, you could see dried tears and puffy eyelids, but you wouldn’t ever regret this decision to become a nurse.

At twenty-five, newly graduated from nursing school, already working full time at the best hospital in Japan, while studying for your degree to eventually become a nurse practitioner. You loved your job quite a lot. They had placed you immediately within their Post-OP, ICU, and recovery wings, and even though you were somewhat new, you were celebrating a year of working in a few weeks, you already had some… more than familiar faces.

“Well, Ground Zero-san, I guess you owe me a drink because unless my eyes are deceiving me, it looks like both your arms are broken, no?” you hum, your grin bright and wide, not even attempting to hide it’s glee as your high profile patient sat seething on the hospital bed. “It’s been, what? Two weeks since you last showed up here? You getting old?”

“Oh, would you shut the fuck up, you shitty ass nurse?!” Bakugou snarled, his arms obviously trying to tense and move against the large casts that envelope him. “The fuck would you expect to happen when facing off with a quirk that’s specifically meant to break people’s arms?!”

“Deku didn’t break any arms,” you point out with a soft laugh, eyes still scanning and reading through his charts to check his medical needs and medicine prescribed by the attending and when he should be taking them. “A bit weird that only half of the Wonder Duo was indescribably injured, no?”

A loud snarl ripped from Bakugou’s throat, and you stifled your own laughter as you raised your eyesight to look him straight in his raging eyes.

“I took that damn nerds hits because he’s broken his arms so many fucking times he’ll be forced to amputate them if he breaks them again!” Bakugou’s eyes were near white in his anger, but the intensity of his emotions was heavily diminished by the fact that his arms were strapped to his chest in thick, round bandages.

“You can admit you care for him,” you chide, ignoring his ‘like hell I do!’ Placing the chart down and walking to his IV drip, you checked to see if anything he was hooked to required any changes or whatnot. “Besides, this is not the first time I’ve seen you in here! It was quite surprising to see Ground Zero on bedrest on my first ever shift here.”

That much was true.

You had been working at Tokyo Hospital for nearly nine months now. Within the nine months, you saw a lot of heroes; that much was true. Your quirk was versatile as a nurse, and you were bright, young, very good at your job, and definitely a beautiful individual. So, when you were assigned to be working most of your days healing heroes because they were the backbone of the country, it didn’t quite catch you by surprise. It was a common assignment you had as a nursing student too.

You just didn’t expect the head nurse of the floor to assign one of your five rooms to be holding none other than Ground Zero, a.k.a Bakugou Katsuki.

Of course, you weren’t an idiot. You had known about the explosion hero since high school! You had sat in front of your TV in high school, attempting to do your homework while watching the rather intensive first-year battles. He had done well in every stage, placing within the top three each time and even winning the game! You had cringed at the awards ceremony but had been horrified at the news of his kidnapping.

But after that, with the rising tensions of the villain world upon the dying world left behind by All Might, you had forgotten him for a moment. As time went on, and finally, a new support system was brought forth, Ground Zero, much like his quirk entailed, exploded onto the scene alongside Deku and a few other young heroes.

So, sure, you expected to maybe one day run into the ash-blond hero, but you didn’t expect it to happen on day one.

All things considered, the two of you got along rather well.

His... strong personality did make you wary of him at first, taking his near verbal barrage until you, very flusteredly he will argue, told him to ‘shut up, you butthole!’

You were horrified at your lack of professionalism, and Bakugou had gone silent as he stared at you in silence.

“Did you just call me a butthole?” he echoed, his face full of emotions you could not read. You felt on the verge of panicking, unsure if he was going to potentially tell on you! The sounds of a barking laughter rang in your ear, and you looked up to see his grinning, much more relaxed form. “Are you some shitty preschooler?!”

Thus began a working relationship of sorts between you and Bakugou.

He was an asshole, and you tried your best to not let him talk you off a cliff. It didn’t take very long for you to find out what made him tick surprisingly enough, and you used that to your advantage. The best way to tease him right now was by reminding him that he had been hospitalized more times than Deku, who apparently had held the record for the number of hospitalizations between him and his friends.

“Are you going to mention that shit first meeting every time we talk?!” Bakugou barked, his eyes narrowed as he turned his head away from you.

“After you admit you care deeply for all your friends!” you chirp back, stepping away from his IV drip, satisfied by what you saw. “Well, you look good for now. I’ll be checking up on you every ten to fifteen minutes since you can’t press the button until we can get those casts off! Did ya need anything before I go check on my other patients?”

“Open the damn window; it’s stuffy in here,” Bakugou grumbled, his face finally facing you again.

“Of course,” you smile cheekily, your eyes squinting with your broad grin. “It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy!”

Standing at the side of the bed, you stretched over Bakugou to grab the edge of the window and slide it open. Through your stance, you were entirely aware of how this looked, how this felt. Your breasts centimeters from Bakugou’s face, your eyes never once breaking from the window to feign your innocence as you finally pull away. Even with scrubs on, you could feel his hot, sharp breathes expelling through your clothes, his ears tinging just the smallest bit red as you smile.

“Anything else?” you asked sweetly, failing to hide your impish grin.

“Put the water cup close by,” he grunted, eyes staring at the liter of water at his side table. Well, he wouldn’t be able to use his arms until just before he was set to be discharged, so moving the water closer was a good idea.

Nodding, you grabbed a nearby cup, filling it three-quarters of a way full before placing it onto the feeding table and dragging it near his mouth, a bendy straw already secured into the cup. You watched as he shot forward, putting the plastic straw into his mouth and beginning to drink the cold water. His eyes were back on yours, deceivingly cold had you already not been an expert on his personality.

With one final soft chuckle, you waved at Bakugou as you headed out, a cheerful smile on your face as he continued to drink his water.

“See ya in a few!”

Well, you guess there was one more important detail about your relationship with Bakugou Katsuki. For the past five months, you have been doing everything in your power to seduce him — to get him to admit that he wanted you too.

You knew the ethics and the morals behind falling for a patient of yours, much less a high profile patient at that. You knew that if your little crush was ever found out, you would most definitely be moved from his room. You were also damningly aware that you should have brought up your initial feelings for the explosion hero to your admin the moment it arose. But the thought and the way you were always so happy to be around him eventually overruled your logic. Five months ago, you had stayed at the hospital until nearly three am, talking with a severely concussed Bakugou. You were stationed for an overnight round with the task of making sure that he didn’t fall asleep. And for the first time in your time knowing Bakugou, the two of you somehow clicked into place, and when he was discharged the next morning — the nurse who had a quirk to rid of concussions finally arriving — he had thanked you.

It was so benign, so incredibly simple, yet the way the golden sunshine illuminated his blond hair and made his red eyes shine like a ruby, you found your own tired body feeling heated and warm. He wasn’t such a lousy conversationalist, and you had already enjoyed all your interactions together, yet it still caught you off guard to feel your heart pounding in your throat as he pulled on his jacket and left.

So after coming to terms with your sudden infatuation for the stubborn hero, you began to express your desires and feelings for him without having to say it. For all that he was worth and all that he expressed himself to be extremely observant, Bakugou Katsuki still had no idea that you liked him.

Unfortunately, your scrub nurse uniform wasn’t precisely seductive. The light blue of the breathable, sterile uniform was about as unsexy as uniforms got. But that never stopped you from leaning in too close when doing what Bakugou demanded of you. It didn’t prevent you from accidentally dropping papers in front of him and bending over to show off the curves of your ass.

There had never been a time such as this one where you hated that the old, ‘sexy’ nurse outfits were no longer up to standard and banned from use. How you would have loved to be wearing gartered held stockings just to accidentally flash to Bakugou. But, you suppose that it’s alright. Even though your feelings and ambitions to get the Pro Hero to like you as much as you did him, you never tried to push it.

For now, you were just an asshole tease.

You carried out the rest of your rounds in peace, your pager sitting comfortably in your pocket, unused, unneeded for now. The rest of your four patients were doing well for now.

One was asleep, most likely due to the medicine coursing through his veins, but his vitals remained unchanged.

Another was in the process of getting ready to be discharged, her family there to help her in leaving.

The third was eating his dinner, eyes concentrated on a poker game on the TV as he asked you to help fluff his pillow.

The last was busy with a physical therapist, her forehead slick with sweat as she attempted to sit up from her chair.

All in all, they were all doing fine, and you were back to the beginning, back to Bakugou’s room.

You entered his closed room door to be greeted by an empty bed. Your eyes widened immediately, the initial wave of pure horror flashing through you that by some freak accident, some murderous villain had kidnapped the injured hero straight from the hospital bed.

“Ground Zero-san?!” you called out, a pitched voice of concern frilling your voice as you stumbled through the room. Your eyes were frantically searching the room, fingers feeling the lingering warmth of his body on the bed and your eyes noticing the empty water cup on his table still. The sheets of his bed haphazardly thrown off as if in a struggle.

Your fingers wound around the panic button, your ears straining to hear any sort of sign of Bakugou still being here.

A gritted teeth snarl was muffled from the attached bathroom, and you froze, unable to move as you felt the untouched button in your hands turn as light as a feather. You approached the bathroom door with soft footsteps, the smile on your face, unable to be stopped as you pulled the door open.

The sight you happened upon was something that made your lips curl into a wider smirk as the hospital clothed-clad hero absolutely struggled with his lack of functioning hands and arms to pull down his pants. Something he couldn’t do himself because the socks and slippers on his feet kept him from even attempting to tug his pants off with his toes.

In his struggle, undoubtedly miserable attempt to get his pants and underwear off his waist, Bakugou seemed ignorant to your arrival. His back still towards you, his head tilted down in his struggle as he twisted and pulled at practically nothing.

And as you watched him struggle, you couldn’t help but let your eyes drink in his form that stood tall before you. Most occurrences where you found yourself face to face with Bakugou, he was always tucked in a bed (except that time you realized your feeling for him), whether it was because he needed to be or because he was forced to be. So seeing him in his full height, seeing how despite your size, you were still only at his shoulder, made your eyelashes flutter.

He was tall, so deliciously tall, you wanted to climb onto a chair to see if he would be taller even with that added height. And oh how the flimsy material of his hospital outfit was stretched then against the taut muscles of his back. They flexed and shifted with his aggravation, and the only thought on your mind was to rake your fingers against the tempting muscle and skin.

“Shitty. fucking. villain!” he hissed angrily, sweat trickling down the back of his neck as he still struggled to do what nature called him for.

But you couldn’t help it; the flexing muscles of his back, the lower tenor of his voice, and the way he seemed ridiculously larger than life at the moment tipped your restraint over. Your ability to hold back crashing through you like a tsunami wave, drowning you until you found your hand tethered to the tight spot at the center of his spine, your hushed words drifting to his ear like sweet, warm honey.

“You need any help here, Ground Zero-san?” you asked, your voice just loud enough to have your hot breath fanning against his sweaty exposed neck. You could feel him twitch in your hold, his body stiffening as he whipped his head around to look at you, red eyes wild, wide, and dark.

“Don’t ya know how to fucking knock?!” he snapped, his body flushed at being caught in the bathroom, unable to shed his clothes. He doesn’t move from your touch, and that small detail makes you warm, knowing that he wasn’t entirely repulsed by your touch.

“You were missing from your bed, and I called your name,” you smile despite his angry glare. “I know you are susceptible to hear loss, but I thought you were still in the clear.”

“I ain’t fucking deaf,” Bakugou growled, his face twisted with a frown. “And that still doesn’t explain why the hell you’re here!”

“Oh, were you not just completely struggling earlier?” you feign shock, the grin on your face unstoppable at the embarrassed scowl that sets on his face. You step even closer to him so that your torso is perpendicular to his side. Your hand still gently touching his muscled back, and your free hand gently pressing to his own abdomen, the feeling of his flexed muscles, making you dizzy as you peer down at the white toilet. “Is there a villain in the toilet? I didn’t think that was possible!”

“Of fucking course not, there’s not a shitty villain in the toilet.” Bakugou flushed, his body entirely trapped by you, but he made no play to escape.

“Oh, so did you need help?”

Bakugou stares at you, his mind whirling a kilometer a second as he contemplates his next course of action. The both of you know he needs help, and still, the both of you are aware that his ability to ask of that from you is slim to none given he couldn’t even wait for you to return to his room.

“Tch,” he clicks his tongue angrily, annoyed, completely fed up. His eyes rolling to the ceiling, refusing to acknowledge you as his head nods once. “Help me, shitass nurse.”

“Of course!” you chirp, your eyes finding his hooded ones.

You give him one last warm, sweet smile before the hand on his torso lightly drags down his stomach, soft in its unashamed way of feeling him up. Your head tilted as your fingers hooked into the tight waistband of his pants and pulled it down, the heat of your palm accidentally dragging itself over the imprint of his cock behind his boxers.

The slight, flustered choking noise at the back of his throat didn’t go ignored by you, but rather but aside for later. Your eyes flashing up to see his red eyes wide, his cheeks so lightly dusted with pink as you managed to pull down his boxers too.

“There!” you exclaim, your eyes closing in your grin before you turn your attention back down to his exposed dick.

Immediately, you had to hold back a noise of pure want and lust at the sight of him. He was long, undoubtedly eight inches, definitely more. Although you couldn’t tell how thick, you knew his dick would fill your palm without a struggle. The trimmed, dark blond pubes and the protruding veins are what did it for you, your tongue poking out for a millisecond to wet your lips as you stared at his dark pink head.

“Stop staring at it!” Bakugou hissed, clearly embarrassed if the slight voice crack said anything about it.

You looked back up at him, fake confusion swimming in your eyes as you tilted your head. “It’s only a penis. I see millions of these all the time.”

“Yeah, but it’s fucking weird!”

A soft laugh escaped your lips, your eyes rolling softly as you sighed in retreat, “Fine, fine, let's pee big boy and get you in bed.”

With your dominant hand, you grabbed his dick with a soft grip, pleasure simmering through you at the confirmation of the thick dick in your palm. But it seemed you weren’t the only one who thought that for the moment you tried to steer his dick toward the toilet to assist in aim, Bakugou hissed loudly. His flesh twitching to life in your warm, soft hand as it began to grow upward.

You didn’t say anything; your jaw remained as tight and closed as your vocal box despite the egging need to tease him and celebrate his apparent approval of your touch. So, eventually, in a voice that defied the nervous energy coursing through your veins, you asked: “Didn’t you need to pee?”

Bakugou let out a throaty, guttural groan, his anger hissing between his teeth as his dick twitched again in your hold, growing longer and harder still.

“I can’t take a damn piss with a hard-on, you idiot!” he roared despite the strawberry red blush on his cheeks. You admired the way he was still fighting for control of an upper hand here despite — clearly — not having any.

“Oh, haha! Silly me!” you laugh, your hand shifting against his length, your warm palm getting closer to the base of his cock.

“W-What are you doing?!” Bakugou spluttered, your soft butterfly touches sending him through a loop he clearly wasn’t expecting. “You could just wait for it to die!”

“It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy,” you repeat your words, your hold on his dick growing firmer and harder just as his cock continued to do. “You clearly need to pee, and there’s no telling when your cock will go down.”

“I’LL MAKE IT GO DOWN!” Bakugou yells, but the usual sharpness to his tone has deflated, diminished to nothing but whining embarrassed yell. You look up at his clenched jaw and how a pretty pink glows on his cheeks, and you’re mesmerized.

Looking back down at his growing cock that warms your hand immensely, you hum, slightly twisting your hand around his length. Bakugou shudders, a whine hidden in his throat as you open your own mouth.

“Do you want me to stop?” you question, your eyes fluttering up to look at his clouded red ones. “Do you not need or want me?”

That was a double-headed question if Bakugou ever heard one. He looked at your glossy lips, the way they were pouted, so ready to be kissed, to be claimed, and that delirious look of want and need in your eyes. And he knows better; he knows that this is not the place, not the time to act on emotions like this. The need to pee sits heavily on his lower belly, just like the need to cum makes him twitch and pace uncomfortably. God fucking damn his broken to smithereens arms.

But you already know this, of course, you do. But you also know how stubborn he can be, how anal he can be about the littlest thing. So with no answer, you weaken your grip, making him think that you’re ready to leave, and he falls right into the trap.

“Make it fucking q-quick,” his voice cracks, the embarrassment nearly tangible as you nod your head firmly, your fist tightening around his cock.

Your warm fingers pressed onto his length, beginning at a slow leisurely pace, your eyes glued onto his face, detailing how he reacts to every small flick of your wrist, every little difference of grip in his hands. Your strokes began to grow larger, your fingertips tracing the bulging veins on his cock, your eyes hypnotized by the way his face pinches in his pleasure, the blush on his cheeks, the way the hot pants expelling from his mouth curl warmly in your lower belly.

“Y-You do this with all your shitty patients?” Bakugou growls, but it sounds weak, too blurred and slurred with his increasing pleasure.

Your fingernails drag against the underneath of his cock, tracing the incredibly sensitive skin until he’s slowly thrusting his hips into your fist. “Only the hot ones,” you tease, your thumb pressing against the tip of his beading tip, the warm pre-cum slick and spreading quickly against his flushed tip.

“You’re fucking disgusting,” Bakugou continues, his head tipping backward, exposing the slenderness of his neck that begs for your teeth to sink into. “Just needed to take a fucking piss.”

“Nervous, you’ll pee all over me, and I won’t want to suck your dick?” you ask, your fingers brushing near his scrotum, eyes blazing dangerously at the sight of his gasping, jaw-dropping face. His hips rut forward, leaking cock dripping with his pre-cum, and you giggle softly, fisting him faster, spreading the pre-cum against his heated sex.

Your fingers run against his throbbing length, your palm tight and hot against his cock, the veins you drag across searing against your flesh, ingraining itself onto your skin and memory forever. Despite it all, the obvious near tangible horror Bakugou has on the thought of pissing on you, he continues to fuck into your fist.

“Damn bitch like you would probably l-like it if I pissed on you,” Bakugou pants, his casted arms twitching at his chest. His head tilted away from you, but his eyes burning into you, the red eyes hot as fire against your skin. “You want me to piss on you? Make you my bitch.”

The words burn against your skin, your teeth biting onto your lower lip as you meet his gaze. You’ve never considered it before, never thought you’d be into it. As a nurse, you’ve been around piss, shit, and vomit, and while you had grown unfazed by it, you never considered the prospect of a man pissing on you. But you thought of it, of Bakugou standing above you, free from his casts, hands on his cock as he smirks down at you with golden liquid spraying from his cock, soaking you where you lay.

You shudder, pleasant chills running down your spine as you stare into his eyes yet again.

“And if I do?” you ask, fingers rolling the head of his cock between your forefinger and thumb, relishing in the way that he snarls low in his throat. “What’re you gonna do about that, Ground Zero-san? You gonna piss all over your bitch after you get out of here.”

“You want me to piss on you here?” he asks, his voice snappish, strained, his hips drilling harder into your hand that was quickly speeding up. A battle of power and speed between the both of you as he looms over you, face flushed, pink, and lips demanding to be kissed. “Wouldn’t be surprised if you do.”

“Why’s that?” you breathe, his lips tantalizingly close to yours, a breath away as your hand grips and tightens even more around the base of his cock, causing a pained-pleasured hiss to rip from behind his teeth as he looks at you.

“Don’t act like your shitty ass hasn’t been trying to seduce me every time I show up,” Bakugou gruffs, his hips continuing a drilling rhythm into your fist, his body no longer shy or embarrassed.

“So you noticed but never said anything?” you counter, your fingers shifting over to his swollen, hot balls. You fondle them, tugging at their weight gently, taking in the way his eyes roll to the back of his head and the way his teeth tear into his lip. “Coward.”

“Hah?! Who the fuck—”

You can’t help yourself anymore, your mouth coming to slam against his in a piercing, searing kiss. He moans into the kiss, and you gasp back, tongues clashing together, teeth knocking into each other as awkward, nearing uncomfortable kisses are exchanged. His sweet scent of caramel wafts into your nose, and his grunts and groans are addicting, entirely enthusiastic noises that send your own thighs clenching shut to quiet the heated need in between your thighs.

Your hand increases in its speed, his whines and groans so pretty and piercing into you.

“How fucking gross,” you laugh into his mouth, the slicked heat of his precum lathering your palm until soft noises of your fisting hand begin to fill the sterile bathroom. “You’re a child, wanting to piss on things that you shouldn’t. You came to the bathroom and got a hard-on instead of pissing, Bakugou, aren’t you embarrassed.”

“Y-Y/l/n,” he hissed, his jaw falling slack against your mouth. His hips are drilling into you faster and faster, the throbbing of his cock, the growing, thick scent of his caramel sweat filling the room and your senses. “F-Fuck!”

“Such a dirty, childish pro hero,” you smile your tongue curling into his mouth and dragging against the roof of his mouth as he shudders helplessly against you. “Cum already, Bakugou, cum and piss over yourself like some small brat.”

He shudders, and you find your mouth leaving his own as you stare down, spurting white ropes of cum pour from his tip, completely covering the toilet seat with his sticky white cum. And you watch as soon as his body collapses onto you, entirely spent from the orgasm, yellow piss streaming from his tip.

The toilet fills with his cum and piss, and you grin once his balls and bladder are completely drained. His cock limp and weak in your hand as you hum, your quirk activating and causing the exhausted Pro Hero to recompose himself so that he wasn’t entirely weak against you.

“Such a good patient,” you coo, pulling up Bakugou’s boxers and hospital pants without a second's thought. Patting his butt gently, you watched as his still exhausted red eyes stared at you. You walked over to the sink, washing your hands so that you could continue to finish the rest of your shift.

“Don’t think this is over, shitty nurse.”

You look at him over your shoulder, your fingers curling under the warm water as you grin.

“I expect to be fucked and pissed on next time,” you counter, your smirk devastating and sending a fire right back to Bakugou’s groin. “No freebies anymore.”

#bakugou x reader #bakugou smut #bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bbs kinktober 2020 #tw: water sports

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yandere-daydreams · 4 years

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Kinktober - Day One

Prompt: Cockwarming

Pairing: Lucifer/Reader (Obey Me)

TW: Dub-Con, AFAB!Reader, Non-Graphic Violence, Semi-Public Sex, and Verbal Degradation.

Things always seemed to escalate, with Lucifer.

It was one of his many, many unpleasant talents, even if you seemed to be the only person who ever got to see its full extents. You might follow him into an empty classroom under the guise of looking for something he’d forgotten, and more often than not, you’d leave limping and bruised with a poor, nearly abandoned notebook cradled in your arms. He might call you into his room to help him with something he should’ve been able to handle by himself, and the next morning, you’d wake up in his bed, a uniform already folded on the bedside table to replace the one he’d shredded. And, when he asked you to come to his office to sign a form for the exchange program, you tended to end up stripped from the waist down, his coat draped over your shoulders and his cock buried so deep inside of you, you were afraid that if you moved in just the wrong way, you’d break altogether.

That might’ve been the problem. You’d break, meaning you weren’t already broken. Meaning he hadn’t broken you, yet.

That was another thing about Lucifer. Things always escalated, but tonight, they couldn’t seem to escalate enough.

It was frustrating. It was frustrating, and more than that, it wasn’t, it couldn’t be, it would never be frustrating enough. Even if you could feel that familar pressure, a tight compression that made your toes curl and your body heat up as your hips pressed flash against his, a strong arm kept you from moving, from going any further, and although the edge of his desk was biting into your spine, his chest slotted against yours as his warm breath ghosted over your exposed neck, he was more than happy to neglect you and scribble away at whatever paperwork Diavolo had sent off for him to do. There was tension, but there wasn’t friction. There was slick, dripping from your enterance and drooling onto his lap, but there wasn’t anything to do with it. There wasn’t discomfort, but there wasn’t the pleasure that would make it worth the pain, there wasn’t the satisfaction.

There was just Lucifer, the sound of his quill scratching against paper, and your own growing irritability, as he failed to provide anything but the prior.

You didn’t even notice you were starting to move, not until your fists were already balled around the dark fabric of his shirt as you attempted to grind against him, but whatever feeble, stuttering pace you were able to pick up was quickly interrupted by a row of gloved fingertips digging into your side, stiffling your progress without remorse. At least he felt the need to look at you, this time, a poorly concealed sigh making his exasperation more than apparent. Still, it was manufactured, dramatic, at best. He liked having power of you. He liked being in charge. If he’s denying himself anything, it’s only because he planned on making you beg for it.

Still, that didn’t stop him from pouting as he leaned back, a frown pulling at the corners of his lips, as overdone as it was enraging. “You’re squirming,” He said, his sympathy layered on so heavily, you could almost believe it was genuine. “Again.”

It took you a moment to remember how to speak, the air catching in your throat as soon as you opened your mouth. There wasn’t enough, there wasn’t nearly enough, but at the same time, there was too much for your voice not to shake, too much for you not to hesitate before you spoke. You could only hope it wouldn’t go to his head, but judging by how reflexively his frown broke into a smirk, it was a pointless thing to wish for. “Can’t help it,” You mumbled, making a half-hearted attempt to hide your face in his shoulder. “You’re-- It’s uncomfortable.”

That earned a jerk of his hips, a sudden thrust upward that left you biting back a moand clenching your thighs around his waist. From the light chuckle he let out, you would’ve thought that’d pinched your cheek or given you the gentlest love tap, but Lucifer was good at that. He always found a way to make you think you were the crazy one, that he was doing something innocent and you were wrong for wanting to get off on it.

“It’s uncomfortable,” He mused. His grip around your midriff began to loosen, but any relief that might have brought was short-lived. Before his arm could fall away completely, his free hand was cupping your chin, tilting your head back with a little more force than he really needed to use. “Is it uncomfortable? I thought I was doing you a favor by giving you so much time to adjust.” The pad of his thumb pushed into your jaw, driving out a low whimper before you could swallow it down. Lucifer only hummed as he pulled you closer and kissed the top of your head, a gesture much too loving for the situation he’d dragged you into. “You’re always going on about how much it hurts, how I’m being too rough, how you’re not getting what you want. Isn’t this better, (Y/n)?”

You didn’t answer. It wasn’t, he knew it wasn’t, but you had a feeling he didn’t care. It was all you could do to tug his coat around you, to ignore the way your cunt clenched around him and do your best not to meet his eyes as you changed the topic. “Someone could walk in,” You whined, nodding towards his office door. “If anyone hears something--”

You didn’t get a chance to finish. Before you could get another word out, his hand had fallen away from your jaw, his hold finding your neck, instead. It was a sudden movement, something so abrupt and so impulsive, you didn’t realize he’d moved, not until you were lying flat on his desk, your spine aching and your throat throbbing as you realized how difficult it’d become to breath. That wasn’t your main concern, though, no, it didn’t even come close. For a second, for a brief, blissful second, he was fucking into you, lighting your nerves on fire and making everything so beautiful as he inadvertantly forced himself even deeper, as he finally gave you want you needed. But, it was only for a second. Just as quickly as you’d caught hold of the slightest hint of contentment, it was ripped away from you, torn and destroyed by Lucifer’s firm grip and his stern scowl as he held you down, refusing to let you rut into him or do anything besides writhing and mewling for what he was just too kind to give you.

“Such a greedy little slut,” He growled, his patience giving in before his discipline. You could feel him twitching inside of you, he had to want this as badly as you did, but if Lucifer cared about his own carnal urges, you couldn’t tell. This wasn’t about sex, for him, it wasn’t about panting and sweating and making someone else feel good. He wanted you to suffer, he wanted to stand by and watch as you humiliate yourself into submission, and as much as you hated to admit it, Lucifer tended to get what he wanted. “I’ll give you a choice. You can either shut your mouth and wait your turn, or you can keep acting up and see how generous I’m feeling when you’re finished. I think you’re smart enough to make the right descion, love.”

You hated him. You hated him, and you hated his office, and you hated his cock and you hated how much you didn’t hate it, you hated how much you wanted more. You hated that he was right, and you hated how small he made you feel, by saying it so blatantly. You hated all of it.

You just wish you hated it a little more.

Meekly, you let your head fall to the side, Lucifer’s grin only growing wider as your body relaxed under his. You knew what he wanted, and he knew you were going to give it to him. The only thing you could do was try not to draw it out any longer than you had to.

“I can wait.”

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iambilliejeanok · 3 years

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🤎A Break With My Lover.🤎

Part One

Pairing: Might Guy x Tenji( made up character)

Summary: Tenj is back from her two month mission and is so excited to spend time with her new boyfriend Guy, who pampers and adores her. Just a cute little short story for all my Guy sensei hoes to enjoy.😊

Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, SFW and NSFW, smut.

Tenji now stood at the entrance of the Hokage mansion, grateful to have been granted a full week's rest after her team worked tirelessly for a full two months. Another breeze blew a curl that dangled from her loose bun into her face, not caring in the slightest to put it back in its place. Her main goal was to reach her beloved apartment and take a much needed cool shower to wash away the grim, sweat and blood that clung to her aching body. With her eyes closed she inhaled a deep long breath, forcing herself to take the first step. Her body felt so heavy and her mind fuzzy, a sudden wave of fatigue ripping a whine from deep in her throat. “Oi, Tenji,” a sharp flick on the side of her neck immediately snapped her out of her sluggish mood. “Tch! Genma what the fuck,” a sly smirk appearing on his smug face as he took pleasure in her frustration, relishing the irritated look he managed to put on her face. “Well hello to you too Tenji, it's been too long, glad that you're back and in one piece it seems,” he spoke as he gave her a quick once over, ensuring that she was really in one piece and he hopefully hadn’t spoken too soon. He noticed the dark circles under her eyes as he inspected her obviously fatigued face, a hint of sympathy pulled at his heart realising she would probably have to walk all the way home on her own despite how tired she was. Tenji noticed the slight worry in his light brown eyes and instantly thought of a plan. Maybe she could convince him to carry her home after seeing the state she was in. “I’m okay I guess, I’m so tired, just wish i had help getting home Genma,” she whimpered as she stepped closer, leaning her chubby cheek into his broad, muscular chest, she looked up at him, hopeful that her long time buddy would show even the tiniest bit kindness he claimed to have, pulling her best puppy face while looking into his light brown eyes, her darker eyes needy as her full lips curved into a pout that he almost gave into until he realised what she was up to. Now, it’s not that he didn’t want to help(maybe a little) but it was also that he had already been summoned by the Hokage and couldn’t afford to be later than he already was and also because he knew Tenji could be such a spoiled brat sometimes and he was not in the mood to baby her today. He averted his gaze and placed two long, slender fingers on her forehead before gently nudging her off of him. “Geez Tenji” , his words almost sounding empathetic until he opened his mouth again, “Good luck finding someone who will help you with that”. Tenji’s mouth hung open in utter defeat as Genma walked right past her, not missing how he unashamedly took in the gorgeous sight of her full, round ass, her uniform gracefully complimenting it with the way her pants clung desperately to the curve of her hips and hugged her ass in a way that he would always appreciate. “Tch”, Tenji scoffed as she turned fully to face him, his soft light, brown eyes slowly climbing up her body taking in her front, failing to hide the disappointment in them, missing the blessed sight she turned away from him, reluctantly looking back up into her darker orbs to wink at her, disappearing into the Hokage mansion. She blamed herself for expecting anything from that perverted bastard, as she hesitantly began her dreadful walk down the busy streets of Konoha.

Tenji kept her eyes glued to the ground, drowning out the sounds of the happy village folk all around her, as she continued on replaying how good it would feel to walk into her apartment and pamper herself to a nice shower and some well needed rest. A low growl from her tummy dirsturbed her train of thought, reminding her of her deep hunger for some delicious, warm food. The divine, savory smell of Ichiraku’s ramen, not helping her best attempts at ignoring it and heading home, her fatigue too overwhelming for her to entertain her hunger as she stood in front of the little ramen restaurant. “Tenji sensei!,” a loud voice erupting out of nowhere pulled her attention directly in front of her. A young and enthusiastic Lee stood in her path, the biggest grin spreading on his face, clearly excited to see her. A mini Might Guy, always bringing a deep nostalgic feeling in her heart, he was far too adorable for her to not smile at him, despite the exhaustion that tugged at her eyelids, with his little green jumpsuit, “Lee-san, so good-,” she was suddenly cut off as two large hands tugged at her waist, lifting her up and tossing her high into the air, she squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself for the one sensation she absolutely despised, punching her deep in her gut as the fall back downwards came shortly after. Landing right into none other than her boyfriend, Might Guy’s strong arms. “Precious!”, she shuddered as he spoke way louder than she would have liked; “After so long you have finally returned from your mission! Wow I’ve missed you'', Guy was basically roaring right in her face at this point, which she normally wouldn’t mind, but the fatigue she couldn’t shake off any longer made her highly irritable. “Guy!, put me down right now, baka!”, she blurted, his big, pretty grin never leaving his face as he gently complied. “My precious flower, how was your mission” he spoke in a much calmer voice, now sensing her irritated mood as he shamelessly inspected her entire body, not bothered by the irritation in her tone, making sure his eyes and hands didn't miss a single spot, hoping she wasn't injured as she replied, “It was a success. I just reported to Lady Hokage and I get a full week of rest as a reward so i'm going home now” , the tone of her voice growing more and more annoyed as she noticed Kakashi and his team all standing there, watching Guy fiddle with her body, the embarrassing display of care leaving a light blush across her plump cheeks. Everyone knew they were dating, despite the fact that their relationship was still very new, it didn't take a scientist to figure out they had been in love with one another even as friends. “Guy!” she whined, pushing him off of her hoping he was now pleased with his inspection. “As expected of my lotus! Always glowing in the light of her youth!”, he continued with his over enthusiastic praise. Tenji was now very used to his overly positive attitude that he was apparently born with, considering he was just as loud now, as he was when they were still children. Kakashi looked at her with a knowing look of second hand embarrassment as he nodded towards her “Yo, we‘re going inside Ichiraku’s now, join us whenever you’re ready Tenji-chan” he spoke in the warm, familiar manner, he always spoke in when talking to her. “Kakashi-san, I’m too tired. Next time?”, she replied, her eyelids noticeably droopy as he nodded in understanding, walking into the restaurant.

Guy stood in front of his new lover, feeling like his heart would explode with the surge of joy he felt to be near her after not getting to hang out much, especially in the past two months. Tenji stood before him and let out a deep sigh, knowing that she wouldn't have to worry about the dreadful walk home because her best friend and now lover would go to the ends to make her happy, as she would for him. Tenji looked up at him, her deep brown eyes never leaving his onyx ones as she stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his large build, gripping on the back of his green jumpsuit, sighing heavily into his chest. Her heart fluttered, remembering that she could now hold him like this. He was hers now. Guy’s flak jacket draped her arms as he engulfed her in a warm embrace, strong arms wrapping firmly around her, pulling her impossibly closer. Her eyelids fluttered shut, comfort washing over her as he began to rub his large hand soothingly up and down her back making her eyelids feel like a ton of bricks as she finally gave in to keeping them closed. She relished in the heavy slumber that quickly crept up on her feeling like she was sinking deeper and deeper into her lovers addicting hold, but it was cut short as she was abruptly interrupted by the rumbling of Guy’s hard chest, a deep chuckle leaving his lips as he felt the weight of her body dip further into his. “Someones ready for a nap I see?” he spoke placing a soft kiss on her forehead, “Mmhmm”, was all Tenji had the strength to say, too tired to move her mouth into actual words, revelling in the pleasant warmth Guy’s soft caresses provided—despite the afternoon heat—bringing his fingers to brush the coily strand that escaped the loosely tied bun at the nape of her neck and tucked it back into place. Attempting to tuck the one strand in, the whole bun began to fall apart and Guy being the sweet bean he was,decided to fix the whole thing for her. Speaking to her, he continued to work on it, gently detangling her hair from the scrunchie that failed to keep her thick, dark brown coils neatly bundled up. “How about I take you home and help you wind down?” , he continued, finally able to pry the scrunchie from the last little coil that wouldn't let it go, careful not to hurt her. “Miss you”, she sounded muffled, snuggling further into his chest, a pang of happiness filling her chest at the action, taking in her favourite faint scent of lemon and a much stronger earthy smell. Guy began to softly brush her hair back with his palms, making sure to pull all escaping strands into the ponytail he was forming in his fist at the nape of her neck, now securing it all with the scrunchie. “Well let's get going precious”, he sighed out, gently prying himself free from her tight grip around him, quickly silencing her whine, turning around and gently tugging at her arm, easily pulling all her weight onto his back. A move that she was all too familiar with, Guy always treating her like the ‘precious flower’ he always described her as ever since they were younger. Her heart leaped along with him as he jumped up onto the nearest rooftop, maintaining a firm yet gentle grip on her thighs, a faint sigh leaving her lips and excitement bubbling up from the pit of her tummy, pleasantly spreading around the rest of her body as thoughts of the cuddles and attention she was going to receive clouded her mind. Why didn’t they get together any sooner? Not only did she have a whole entire week off, but she also scored time with her lover. It couldn't get any better than that.

#might guy #gai smut #gai x reader #might guy imagines #black women #naruto imagines

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probably-haven · 3 years

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after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons.

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself. This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already. Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often. Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan.

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is.

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so-

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me. I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit.

Venti’s response to this:

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom.

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already-

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiaoven #genshin barbatos #opinions #discourse #? idk ill tag it just in case #dont mind my constant backtracking and justifying and repeated disclaimers-#i just have a crippling fear of being cancelled lol

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 3 years

Text

𝓐𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓻𝓪 𝓐𝓼𝔂𝓵𝓾𝓶: 𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙, 𝚢𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖, 𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎, 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚜. 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚈𝚞𝚗𝚑𝚘 × 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝙵𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎)

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟹𝙺

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚂𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚄

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I breathed out an airy and desolate sigh through my nose, obviously I unconsciously did it a little too loud as the raven haired male sitting across from me looked down at the floor.

"It was all my fault.....wasn't it?"

I looked up, the glasses sitting on my nose bridge tilting slightly that I had to push them back up so I could study his features, or should I say, his expressions. His eyelids never blinked once, his eyes were trained on the pattern of the carpet underneath him, but I knew his mind was elsewhere. I looked with pity at the bandages wrapped around his wrists, some of the edges stained with fresh blood. I gulped slightly, my stomach threatening to spill out my meager lunch of an apple and avocado toast slice from earlier. I could handle hearing patients tell and retell me about how they stabbed their parents to death, cut off their significant other's genitals because they were unloyal to them, even tackled a deranged lunatic that once tried to...... seduce me to put mildly.......

But to this day, I can't help but get dizzy when I treat or deal with patients who are self harming victims, because yes, they are victims. Victims of their own self loathing, guilt, and depressive state that isn't their fault. It just pains me so much to see them resort to such drastic measures...

But I'm also not stupid and know some, if not most only do it for attention or to manipulate others, and Yunho is a case not far from it. Which is why I was the one sent to deal with him. All the other psychologists would have fallen for his sad puppy eyes, good looks, well built physique and would have released him too early into the world. Not that he's dangerous and a threat to society, but he's not emotionally nor mentally stable to go deal with daily life yet. And I'm not a softie by any means even if I'm patient and meek doctor when necessary. But I'm objective and I seek deeper into the true person hiding behind the front they put in front of me.

"Do you believe it was your fault Yunho?" Usually one would get scolded for answering a question with a question, but I prefer this method in order to get my patients to reason and draw out their own conclusions......

And makes them pour out their true answers.

I watch Yunho ponder for a moment.

"It has to be- otherwise she wouldn't have...wouldn't have-"

He bites back a choked sob, teeth tightening and gritting against themselves as he fails to contain his tears. His hands cover his face as he begins to cry uncontrollably, desperate and heartwrenching wails resonating throughout the 4 walls keeping us company. Reaching for the purple plaid box on the coffee table between us, I take out a few tissues and stand up from my seat. Lightly tapping on his shoulder, I whisper a 'here' to him. He thanks me, but since he's crying too hard no sound comes out his throat. For the next few minutes, he's blowing out his runny nose, all red just like his eyes from crying too hard. He's sniffling while trying to control his previous hyperventilating session. I want to hug him or at least give him a pat in the back. But I can't, I can only sit back and try to imagine the agony he's probably going through, try to put myself in his shoes as I dive deep into the event that got him here in the first place:

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Coming back from a trip to the store, Yunho momentarily looks around confused when he heard his baby daughter crying. Quickly putting the bags on the kitchen counter, he makes his way over to the nursery that adjoined the main bedroom. Calling out for his wife, he receives no response as he walks down the hallway. He calls once more for her but stops midway as he opens the slightly ajar door. His heart stops beating and his veins run cold as he stares into the lifeless body of his beloved wife hanging in the room, feeling as if the oxygen is being ripped out from his lungs, suffocating slowly.

As if sensing his agitation, his daughter's cries from the other room grow louder, so much that they raise concern from their next door neighbor, a kind and sweet old lady who more than once has offered her help in watching over the child or help them out in any way she could. Typing in the passcode, she makes it there just in time to stop the tall male from inflicting more harm upon himself as he holds onto his wife's body in agony. Having been left with no choice, she immediately calls for an ambulance, who arrive there shortly and take him to a nearby hospital.

He was monitored 24/7 as he had a history of attempted suicide before. The nurses and doctors didn't want another episode to happen again, not wanting to leave a barely 1 year old fatherless as well as motherless. As an investigation went, police found a journal hidden deep between the mattresses on the bed. When they poured over the first pages, they knew there was much more to the story than just a doting husband who couldn't live without his wife, hence why he was relocated to the infamous asylum......

And a specialized woman was tasked to not only unmask the truth, but hopefully help a poor broken mind be put back together again.

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Hence why I'm here now, the folder I had read over and over again still on my lap. It honestly amazed me that I'd actually get to work on a case like this, and of course I took up the challenge of digging into a mind like Yunho's, not just to help him, but to leave a precedent for any other situations like this that came after.

"A precedent?" I remember the officer asking me.

"Yes. You'd be surprised just how common these types of toxic relationships there are in an everyday basis yet no one ever looks deeper because they're too focused treating a depressed person who's trying to kill themselves and don't focus on what they really are...."

Shutting the folder, I tucked it under my arm before turning on my heel.

"A manipulative individual who'll do anything to keep someone tied to them forever."

That's how I viewed Yunho, it's how I should be viewing him. At least until I could hopefully get him to change.

"How's......is my daughter ok?"

I let out a soft hum and nod as I scribbled something down on the notepad.

"She's fine. We're having someone take care of her in the meantime, don't worry."

Yunho let out a sigh of relief, fingers fidgeting against his thighs as he mustered up the courage to say something.

"Could I.....could I please see her?"

From the sad look in my eyes he could already tell the answer was negative.

"I'm sorry Yunho....I'm afraid until we see some improvement, we can't allow you to be reunited with her just yet."

I tried to keep my voice steady as I said that, bracing myself to possibly see him breakdown once more. He had already lost his wife and now learning that his only child was forced away from him could possibly send him spiraling down into another episode.

But Yunho instead took a deep breath and seemed calm.

"I understand.....it's ok..." I knew he was saying those last two words more to himself than to me.

Lifting his face up, he suddenly shocked me by looking so bright and rather happy.

"So I guess it's best if we begin right?"

Even to this day, I don't know whether I should have been delighted to have such a compliant patient.....

Or terrified.

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"Tell me Yunho, what was your first reaction when you saw your wife?"

A subtle hint of a smile curled at the corners of his lips.

"I thought she was the kindest and most caring person in the world, very pretty too. She just walked in and the room instantly lit up."

He was reminiscing about those times, I could tell. That fond look on his face was unmistakable.

"Do you believe you fell in love at first sight with her?"

His smile suddenly dissipated, eyebrows scrunching together as if recollecting memories from so long ago.

"I think.......I felt attracted to her.....but.....I don't think it was love?"

I could tell he felt conflicted with himself, but that's exactly what I wanted. I want him to question every feeling and sensation he felt at the moment so he could decide for himself if it was real or just a mere illusion he held. If he starts to second guess or question what he felt then he'd start reasoning and come to the conclusion that what he felt was wrong and mistaken. He'd see that his actions weren't justified.

"So when do you truly believe you fell in love with her?"

I stopped writing on my notepad and watched him close his eyes as he tried to pinpoint the exact time he felt whatever he thought was love.

"One night....one of our friends was feeling down in spirits. I witnessed how caring she was towards them...kindly reassuring them that they were loved, that they mattered. I vividly remember her kind eyes and loving smile as she comforted them. Then it hit me that she was that kind of person. Selfless, caring, doting, would sacrifice anything for her friends and family...... it was hard for anyone not to fall in love with her."

He turned his hand over, studying the wedding ring that he still wore to this day, the engravings of their initials being his prime interest.

"And at that moment I knew I had to have her. I couldn't let anyone else have her. I wanted her.... that love, compassion, empathy..her confidence and strong nature, I wanted-"

He stopped mid sentence and his eyes wizened in horror as he came to the realization I had foreseen long ago. He looked up at me, meeting my unwavering eyes that held no emotion at that moment.

"She had all the qualities I had always lacked in."

I took my glasses off and nodded.

"And I unconsciously wanted them for myself.... but the only way I could have them was...through her?" He seemed sickened with himself.

"Not exactly Yunho. You could have learnt to love yourself and raise your self esteem." I quickly scribbled my observation down.

"But I didn't. Instead I caged her up and slowly tore her down."

I couldn't help but let out an involuntary smile as he drew out that conclusion.

"Glad to know you've accepted that fact, even if it took several months for you to understand."

Shutting the notepad, I lifted myself up from my chair, straightening my blouse. Yunho followed suit.

"Is our session over?" He was always so polite, always escorting me out and holding the door open for me, which other doctors would have adamantly refused, too scared to come close to their patients. But not me. I let them have certain liberties at times.

"Not yet Yunho. As you've made remarkable progress, I got permission for you to see someone."

He was momentarily confused for a split second. Poor thing probably thought it was one of the nurses coming in to give him some new medication to take, which he hated with a passion. Stepping outside for a brief moment, I happily took the young baby in my arms, the little girl already used to seeing me as I always went to go see her after being with Yunho for a few hours. When I came back inside he had his back turned to me, once again staring off into nowhere. The light gurgled babbles the baby emitted caught his attention immediately. He whipped his head around so fast I thought he'd break his neck for a second. He teared up as the child began squealing in excitement as she recognized her father right away.

"Oh my-" He choked up with tears that he couldn't finish his sentence.

I calmly walked over to him, lightly bouncing the baby in my arms. Yunho hesitantly reached his hands out.

"Can I..?" He had such a hopeful glint in his eyes.

I didn't answer, I merely held his daughter out to him. As soon as she felt his embrace, she latched onto him as if he was one of the teddy bears she often slept with. Perhaps he was one.

No....he is one.

In my time of spending time with Yunho, I've come to strongly believe he is a sweet and tender individual. And judging by the way the little girl feels safe in his arms, I do believe he is capable of being truly loved.....

If he learns how to properly love not just someone else, but himself too.

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Stepping out of my car, I quickly grab the small pink bag on the passenger seat before locking it. Treading through the small patch of green grass, I ring the doorbell and wait for one of the occupants to open up for me. No surprise, I'm greeted by the same raven haired male I met nearly 3 years ago. He looks delighted to see me.

"Y/N. Hi!"

I wave at him, a small but genuine smile on my features.

"Hi Yunho. Did I come at a bad time?" I notice the apron covered in flour and leftover egg on it.

"Oh no not at all. Please come in."

Moving aside to let me pass, my nose catches the scent of baked goods filling the air. I can distinctly recognize the hints of lavender and french vanilla, an odd but surprisingly tasty combination. I spot out of the corner of my eye a little head peeking out from the kitchen, curious to know who had come to pay them a visit. Letting out a squeal, she quickly ran over to attach herself on my leg.

"Y/N!"

I chuckled and lightly run my fingers through her hair which was longer than the last time I saw it.

"Hi Jina, I see you've been baking something." We both chuckle as I scraped off some cake batter that had gotten on the tip of her button nose.

"Me and dad are making cupcakes for my friend's birthday party tomorrow." She explained.

"Wow that's a really nice gesture. I bet they'll turn out delicious."

Remembering that I was short on time and that I had one last task to carry out, I pull out the bag I had hidden behind my back and hand it to her.

"It's for you."

Her eyes began to sparkle so much they could rival all the stars in the galaxy. After thanking me like 20 thousand times, she plopped her tiny body on the couch to tear into the contents inside it. I shake my head before taking out a small paper from inside my trench coat.

"And this is for you."

Taking the slip from my fingers, Yunho opens it up and scans what it says. He seems confused for a moment, not fully understanding what it means. He looks to me once more, probably for the last time, asking for an explanation.

"It's your official release from the institution. No more drop in visits, no more eyes on you 24/7, and soon you won't have to continue with the prescribed medication, although when that happens they will send someone once in a while to check up and make sure you're ok without them."

Yunho nods but it is a rather sad and pained nod.

"So this means you won't be seeing us any longer?"

I inhale deeply and nod.

"This was a temporary thing until you got better Yunho. After all....I was only the doctor assigned to you."

It hurt me to say that as much as it probably hurt him, as much as it'd hurt Jina to know I wouldn't be coming back anymore.

"Can't we at least be friends?"

I hated seeing those puppy eyes of him practically beg me, signature trait he passed on to his daughter.

"That would be completely unprofessional of my part Yunho. I deeply cherish and treasure all the time we spent together and I'm beyond happy and satisfied that you've come so far since the start of our journey..."

I sighed deeply.

"But every journey has an end." He finished my sentence.

Extending his hand out to me, I took it and gave it a firm shake.

"I'm really going to miss you." He admitted.

"Me too. Me too."

Going over to the momentarily forgotten 4 year old, she let out an 'oof' when she suddenly found herself cooped up in my embrace.

"Take care of yourself and of your dad ok?"

I kissed the top of her head, her grinning face not registering that this might be the last time she ever saw me. Yunho walked me out the door and even escorted me all the way to my car. Always the gentleman, he held the door open for me. Before I could even get one foot inside, I felt a large hand grip my wrist. Turning to him, I was flustered when he suddenly pulled me close to him.

"Please don't leave. I need you....I..."

He looked conflicted with himself as he tried to finish his words. Taking a deep breath, he confessed:

"I love you."

My heart sank. He said the 3 words I hoped he'd never direct at me. Mainly because I was scared as he was. Don't get me wrong, Yunho is a wonderful man, and he truly deserves to be loved....

But am I certain that he has finally learned to love? Or is it because he feels he needs me?........

Only one way to find out.

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208 notes · View notes

mellowswriting · 3 years

Text

Meaning Found

pairing || Poe Dameron x Reader

summary || Sometimes it takes a crash and the fear that your best friend is dead to finally admit that you love his stupid ass.

word count || 3,466

warnings || language, allusions to sex, minor injuries, lots of teenage makeout sessions lmao

a/n || I rewatched the sequel trilogy and was reminded of my intense love of Poe Dameron, so this kind of just... happened. My first Poe fic, too, so I tried to nail his sarcastic, teasing personality but I don’t know how well I did. Let me know what you think!

Main Masterlist | Join the taglist!

“Poe?” You called out, your hands cupped around your mouth in a vain attempt to amplify your voice through the trees. “Poe, where are you?!”

It had been hours since you crashed on this godforsaken planet, the smell of smoke and overheated metal rousing you from your unconscious state. The first thing you noticed after the awful smell was pain. Your calf was killing you, the pain radiating up through your entire leg from a long gash that thankfully wasn’t bleeding too badly. It just hurt like a bitch.

Panic lanced through you when you realized your hot-headed pilot was nowhere to be seen. There wasn’t a single trace of him. No blood, no tattered clothes, no nothing. He was just gone. Fear thickened in your throat like glue, your lungs seizing under the weight of it. Still, you busied yourself with fixing what was left of the radio. Poe would be pissy if he came back and you hadn’t at the very least gotten a distress signal to the Resistance.

When he came back.

Poe would be back.

But then the radio was repaired and you managed to salvage some supplies from the wreckage of your precious ship - and Poe still wasn’t back. Enough was enough, you decided. Forget your fucked up leg, your pilot was out there somewhere, possibly in worse shape than you and in desperate need of help. So you found a branch that had been ripped from its tree when your ship met its untimely demise and tucked it under your arm in a makeshift crutch and got to hiking.

It was way more painful than you had expected. Each step had a sharp stab of fire-like pain bringing a wince to your face, but it seemed like the longer you walked, the more your body grew acquainted with the wound. It still hurt like hell, but the worry for Poe was far greater. The further you went, the more you really began regretting the choice to come on this mission. Your presence wasn't even entirely necessary - it was a damn supply drop for Maker’s sake. But when Leia herself asked you to have Poe’s back (and keep his pretty little ass out of trouble), you couldn’t very well say no.

Boy, was she going to get an earful if you got back.

When. When you got back.

“Poe, you shithead!” You screamed, your voice echoing off of the trees even through the rain. “I’m gonna leave your ass here, I swear! Where are you?!”

You barely heard it, the sound of his voice calling out your name. Hope lit in your chest, burning hotter than the pain that was now entirely forgotten as you took off through the trees, expertly dodging branches and raised roots as you went. His name fell from your lips over and over, hope falling away into relief when you realized his voice was growing closer.

The sight of Poe Dameron always took your breath away - not that you would ever admit that. It didn't matter when, it didn't matter the circumstance. He was too pretty for his own good, all sharp angles and dashing smiles. Even when you were at your grumpiest, usually as you sipped your coffee during morning briefings that always felt earlier than the last, his presence eased the heaviness that plagued your shoulders.

This time, it was infinitely more intense. Maybe it was the desperate way he crashed through the treeline. Maybe it was the huge grin that broke out across his face when he locked eyes with you. Maybe it was the way his arms immediately opened to embrace you and lift you from the ground, disbelieving laughter rumbling through his chest. Whatever it was, it had tears building in your eyes. For a moment, everything else was forgotten. The two of you weren’t stranded without a functional ship, you weren’t filled with fear and adrenaline, there wasn’t a painful gash in your leg. You were just in the arms of the one person who could make this whole shitshow a little bit better.

Out of nowhere, your relief gave way to fear. Sharp, debilitating, all-encompassing fear. You could have lost him. Poe could have died, or you could have died, and you wouldn’t have told him - fuck, he never would have known. Holy shit.

“Did you really have to call me a shithead, though?” Poe laughed as he put you down, his eyes sparkling with amusement. The gasp you let out when your feet touched the ground had that amusement disappearing, though. “Shit, what happened? How bad is it?”

“No, no, I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” You managed through the heaviness that clamped around your throat. Poe didn’t believe a single word that came out of your mouth, obvious by the way he sighed and shook his head. He ignored your protests and the way you slapped at his shoulders when he quite literally scooped you up. “Fuck, Poe, I said I’m fine -”

“You’re bleeding, you aren’t fine.” He gruffed out, readjusting his grip at your knees carefully. “Which way is the ship?”

The standoff only lasted a few moments, the both of you glaring at each other and waiting - Poe waiting for you to at least nod in a direction and you waiting for Poe’s dramatic ass to put you down. Of course, Poe won. When didn’t he? All it took was the jerk of your chin and Poe set off, grunting every now and then with the effort.

“You aren’t hurt, are you?” You whispered a few moments later. That fear was still rolling in your stomach. No matter how hard you tried to swallow it down, it still threatened to choke you up.

“C’mon, sweetheart, you know me. I’m tough as nails.” Poe laughed. He cleared his throat quietly when he saw the tears still gathered in your eyes. “Seriously, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”

The endearing term made your heart flutter. Pet names fell from Poe’s lips like second nature, you were used to it. Blame the leftover adrenaline, but this time it hit differently, right in your chest. Without thinking, you reached up and brushed his sweat-dampened curls back from his forehead gently, careful not to accidentally tug with all the jostling as he carried you. Your lower lip trembled. “We could’ve died.”

“I know.” Poe’s eyes hardened. “I know, I’m so sorry.”

“Poe, it wasn’t your fault.” You chastised gently, your fingers automatically carding through his hair and gently untangling it. He leaned into your touch slightly and a small smile graced your lips. “You couldn’t have known this would happen.”

“You told me to take the northern route, I should’ve listened -”

“Come on.” You sighed. Always so hard on himself, this one. “I literally argue with you about everything. That’s what we do, you dork. There’s no actual difference between the north route and the west route and we both know that.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Poe smiled softly down at you and your breath caught in your throat again. Damn it. The man really was gorgeous, even with the guilt that still lingered on his face.

“I wasn’t bitching at you or trying to say you got us into this, okay? I… I just realized that you… fuck, Poe.” Words failed you. Or rather, you failed your words. They were there. They had been there from the very beginning, but the overwhelming fear of losing his friendship choked the words from you time and time again.

You didn’t even realize you were back at the wreckage of your ship, too in your head to pay attention to the world around you. Poe set you down gently in the grass, apologizing quietly when you hissed in pain. Now that you weren’t adrenaline soaked and desperate to find him, your body was all too happy to let the pain flare back up.

“Let me get the bacta from the med kit,” Poe murmured, leaving your side for just a moment. He seemed just as anxious as you were, the idea of being apart making both your stomachs turn. Even just a few moments, even just a few feet of distance, it was too much. Poe kneeled at your side and easily tore the remainder of your pants from your calf, the comfortable material now only reaching just above your knee.

Cleaning the gash was no walk in the park, but the moment the bacta touched your inflamed, angry skin, you sighed. That shit was magic, no doubt about it. Nonetheless, Poe was still careful as he wrapped your calf, his every touch slow and gentle and the memory of the last time the two of you were like this bubbled to the forefront on your mind. The roles were reversed, of course, because it was almost always Poe making daringly stupid choices and ending up wounded, but you had been so scared of making the blaster wound to his shoulder worse that your hands shook.

There had been a gentle trust in his eyes when Poe reassured you that he was okay, that you would do just great. His normally confident voice became meek as he whispered that you were the only one he trusted to fix him up, so you better get to it. That was Poe. Always trying to cover up vulnerable moments with humor. But that sparkle of humor was nowhere to be found as he settled himself next to you. Hell, he could barely keep eye contact with you.

“What...what did you realize?” Poe whispered. Something in the way he was looking at you told you that he knew already, fear and hope and anticipation all plain on his face. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, something you had come to recognize as a nervous habit.

You drew in a deep breath, steadying yourself against the racing of your heart and the excitement that buzzed through your veins. It lit you up from the inside out, the very idea of finally, fucking finally, saying the words you had been itching to say for far too long. “I realized that we could’ve died before I told you how much I love you.”

Poe let out a shaky breath, those full lips parting and closing around words that couldn't seem to find their way into existence. A fleeting moment of panic wound its way through your chest at the idea that you had misread this whole thing, constricting your lungs in a vice-hold that threatened to choke the life out of you, but it was washed away by the sudden press of his lips against yours. On the many occasions you imagined what it would be like to kiss Poe Dameron, you envisioned it to be all teeth and gasping passion, but the reality was so much better than anything else your brain could have dreamed up.

Poe kissed you like you were the most precious thing he had ever had the privilege of holding in his hands. Your eyes fluttered closed the moment his lips brushed yours, a soft and reverent touch that pulled a wrecked sound from him. He leaned back, breaking the gentle embrace of your lips to study your face. There was a small crease between his eyebrows where he had them furrowed and you couldn't help but reach up to rub at the space with your thumb.

The smile that broke across his face was brighter than any sun in the galaxy and he pulled you to him. The second kiss was more confident, something you never thought Poe Dameron could be more of. The warmth of his tongue sliding along your bottom lip made a rough shudder slither down your spine and his hand at your cheek buried itself in your hair to tilt your head. The new angle let him press even closer to you and the quiet moan it drew from him had you practically giddy, excitement singing through your entire body. Somehow your hands found the collar of his shirt, your body moving instinctually as if it was commonplace, as if your body knew exactly how to move with his.

“I love you.” Poe whispered against your lips, pulling away just far enough to rest his forehead against yours. He kissed you again, a short one just shy of a peck. “I guess we’re both idiots, huh? Could’ve had you for so long if I had just said something.”

“You can have me now if you stop talking.” You teased and Poe grinned. It was a grin you had seen countless times, but this time it felt almost new. Like you were able to appreciate that pretty smile of his in a new light. “Kiss me again, flyboy.”

An almost wild groan rumbled through Poe’s chest and he did just that. Poe kissed and kissed and kissed you until you were both left with swollen lips and goofy grins. Neither of you could get enough, like you had been drowning and were finally up for air. There was nothing else that mattered. Not the slow establishment of peace and control that Leia had managed to bestow upon the galaxy. Not the sudden shifting of goals after the success of the Resistance. Not the sudden floundering for meaning.

Everything you were searching for, the meaning of it all post-war…

It was found in each other.

“Wait, did you radio anyone?” Poe asked suddenly, those pretty brown eyes blinking up at you inquisitively.

“What?” You were a bit dazed from the feeling of his tongue expertly taking you apart. It took your mind a second to remember how to process words. “Uh, yeah, Leia sent Rey out to get us.”

“How long ago?”

“...Seriously? That’s what you’re thinking about right now.” You motioned between your chests, an eyebrow raised. Poe just stared at you expectantly and you sighed. He would wait there until the Falcon landed right next to you with his stubbornness. “Like three hours ago. Why?”

That devilish smirk reappeared like it never left. “Just wanted to know how much longer I get to have you like this.”

Heat creeped up your neck at the implication. “Maker, you are so annoying.”

Poe bit at his bottom lip and for a mere second you were distracted, wanting nothing more to be the one nibbling at him. But then he had to open his mouth again. “Yeah, and you love me. Says more about you than it does about me.”

“Shut up and kiss me.” You demanded.

“Yes, ma’am.” The words were whispered against your lips as he leaned in, once again dragging you into a makeout session that could rival any other. Like teenagers, the two of you, all wandering hands and teasing nibbles.

It wasn’t long until the telltale sound of the Millennium Falcon approaching pulled you apart - a good thing, too, because both of you were writhing for more than could happen in a field in the middle of nowhere. Besides, it was growing darker and being stuck any longer without shelter when the creatures of the night would begin creeping out to prowl wasn’t the best of ideas. You weren’t surprised that the little orange and white droid was the first down the ramp when the ship had settled on its landing gear.

“Hey, buddy!” The excitement in Poe’s was unmistakable as he crouched down to greet BB-8, the impact of his droid crashing into him knocking him right onto his ass. A series of inquisitive beeps made Poe sigh almost exasperatedly. “No, she’s fine, I took care of her leg.”

BB-8 rolled over and bumped at your legs affectionately, completely ignoring Poe’s indignant, “I’m fine, too, by the way!”

Rey appeared a moment later when you were kneeling to pat the droid and look him over, ensuring he hadn’t been harmed since the last you saw him. It felt a bit strange to care so much for the little guy but he was practically a little kid to you. You had started calling him Poe’s son as a joke long ago when you first met, but you had come to realize just how right you were.

“What the hell happened to you two? Did you forget how to pilot, Poe?” Rey called out as she walked up and immediately a loud bout of bickering began. To an outsider, it would look like these two hated each other but you knew better. Your little friend group would do anything for each other, especially after all you had been through together. All that was missing was -

“Finn!” Poe smiled and embraced his friend in a tight hug before slapping him on the shoulder. “I didn’t know you were coming, too.”

“You think I would miss seeing you two stranded together? Nah,” Finn asked as he pulled you in for a hug as well, a laugh rumbling through his chest. “I figured the two of you would’ve ripped each other's heads off by now.”

“Ha, ha.” You intoned sarcastically. “It’s nice to know that you two have careers in comedy now that the war is over.”

The playful jabs continued as the five of you settled into the Falcon, Poe keeping a hand on you at practically all times. On your lower back, on your hip, settled on your thigh. It seemed like now that he had the ability to touch you like he always wanted to, he couldn’t stop himself. It wasn’t long until his little game became obvious - seeing how long it would take for either of your human companions to realize something was different.

It didn’t take long for it to escalate. A hand on your thigh quickly became tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, which became affectionately rubbing the tension from your neck. Within fifteen minutes of flying through hyperspace, you had to leave the cockpit with some bullshit excuse just to keep yourself from curling up in his lap right then and there. You busied yourself in repairing the wiring you had been working on the last time you were on the Falcon, a simple job that was practically finished already save for untangling and reconnecting the wires and replacing the panel that covered it. Of course it took no time at all for Poe to wander off and find you, his arms wrapping around your waist.

“Hey,” Poe murmured before kissing your neck gently, swiping your hair out of the way to give him even more access. The scrape of his stubble against your sensitive skin made you shiver against him and you could tell Poe felt it by the way he smiled against your neck. “Love how responsive you are...you’re never getting rid of me now, sweetheart.”

The lighthearted remark on the tip of your tongue melted away at the feeling of his tongue tracing that sweet spot just under your ear. You couldn’t help but lean back into his chest, one of his hands leaving your hips to brace against the wall. A low hum fell from your lips when Poe bit at your shoulder teasingly and you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching back to run your fingers through his hair and hold him against you, your attempted repair completely forgotten in front of you.

Every touch had pleasure curling around your body, lighting up your every nerve with need and excitement. The man was a god, but if you told him that, it would pump up his ego to an insufferable level. Maybe you could handle it, the ridiculous amount of pride, if he would just touch you…

“Please,” You whispered, your eyes closing as your head fell back onto his shoulder, and you didn’t miss the hungry way he hummed against you. The arm that was wrapped around your waist shifted and his hand slid under your shirt, the shock of his warm skin against your stomach forced a gasp from you. His fingers dipped below your pants, just barely teasing at the hem of your underwear, and -

“I knew it!” Finn’s deep voice echoed harshly through the metal walls of the Falcon and you both jumped, damn near cracking heads in your surprise.

“No you did not!” Poe scoffed, letting you bury your face into his neck to hide your embarrassed face. Poe’s dismissal did nothing to curb Finn’s excited sprint back to the cockpit, screaming something about Rey owing him credits all the while. A short, huffed laugh fell from his lips as he pushed you back against the wall, facing him this time. “We can’t go back up there, they’ll be impossible.”

You set your chin against his chest with an agreeing hum. “We could just go to the bunks… carry on where we left off.”

Poe grinned at you. “Hell yes.”

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron

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embrassemoi · 3 years

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Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 18

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader CW: mentions of abuse, throwing up, depression, horrible coping mechanisms, implied sexual references A/N: Read CW for this chap.

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 18: Love Isn’t a Magic Potion

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February 14th, 1976

There wasn’t quite another person like James Potter who knew what unrequited love felt like.

After years of harbouring feelings for Lily, making a fool of himself, his failed attempts of trying to impress her; she never seemed to take interest. Lily always sent him disgusted looks, never passing up the opportunity to call him a dirty arrogant toe-rag.

And sure, it phased him sometimes; her words cutting deep, but despite it all, James still believed in the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding your soulmate — your better half. His parents were his main inspiration for love. Years — decades they’d been together and still, the love they held for one another, so fierce and unstoppable, it even shocked James at times.

A long time ago, when he truly understood the concept of love, he made a promise that he wouldn’t settle for anything but for the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding his soulmate — his better half.

He wanted all of it. The good days, the bad days, the glitter and sparkles, the cheesy one-liners; long walks on the beach, nursing them back to health after they caught the flu, watching the sunsets, dancing in the rain — even the stupid petty arguments. He wanted all of it.

No matter how long it took to find them, he would; after all, everyone had their person.

Maybe that’s why he chased after Lily for so long — hoping for that romantic love — the love that’s made for movie screens — the type of love that conquered all. But he wouldn’t continue to beat on a dead horse, especially if Lily didn’t want that.

He wouldn’t force her and certainly, he wouldn’t harass her.

But, James would consider himself lucky, he found his friends — they were already his platonic soulmates and he’d go to the ends of the earth for each of them. His parents, the Marauders, Marlene, now Whiskers; he was always surrounded by only the purest amount of love.

He was never a person to cover up his emotions — hardly, that is. He wore his heart proudly on his sleeve, never once letting others dictate his life and the way that he loved. He laid himself bare, open, and there was a beauty to it that words couldn’t describe.

Love truly conquered all, whether it be romantic or platonic.

But to the women that fell in love with Sirius Black, well — there wasn’t quite another group of people like them who knew what unrequited love felt like — not even James ‘Oi, Evans!’ Potter could compare.

Love is shit.

Love is cruel.

Love is unfair.

Sirius would go on date after date. One fleeting look and soon enough, he had women at his feet, falling for his devilish charm that captivated them in seconds.

They swooned over his chiselled jaw and thick glossy hair; eyes so mysterious with profound, moonlit mirth. The epicanthic folds highlighted his sharp and pointed look that they swore cut through them, searching through the deepest part of their souls.

He was a part or used to be a part of the oldest and most noble Pureblood families in the country. He was rich, of high status, French, could speak five languages and a mischievous bad boy straight out of your classic Muggle film.

Falling in love with Sirius Black was an easy task, so simple and it could happen in a blink of an eye. The realization would come either fast or slow depending on the poor lovesick git who let themselves fall.

But getting Sirius Black to return that affection was an impossible task.

He was raised as a gentleman and would play the part before becoming bored. They were all fillers, the people he dated.

He would admit it, he’s a bit of a dick.

He never fell in love with anyone he’s dated so far — never got past the fancying stage and even then, it was never strong. It never made him feel those butterflies that James described them as. His heart never jumped, never sped up fast, he never felt his skin heat nor did their laugh ever put him into a trance — nothing like what he described them to be like. If anything, he’d always break it off with the girls he found himself getting too comfortable with; always severing it before it became too much.

Although, it technically never was his fault that they fell in love. Most of his admirers like to daydream from afar, or they’d make a promise at the beginning — no strings attached.

Well for them, it did. It almost always ended with strings attached with Sirius holding a pair of shiny scissors at the end of fried thread.

He did not believe in the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding your soulmate — your better half.

But that doesn't mean he didn’t want it.

But, above all, Sirius Black considered himself to be a realist. Unlike James, he couldn't — he wouldn’t let himself believe in that shit anymore. Love is disappointing and it does nothing but hurt you, nothing but a filler he used to distract himself with, no matter who it was. Love did not fix his fuck ups nor himself.

All of the adoring admirers, the ones that lined up for him, they would all leave if they caught a glimpse of the worst parts of him. The ugly, nasty parts. He used rage as a means of defence, he pushed the people he loves away, he was moody, dramatic and above all, reckless.

All they wanted was to take, use him for his body — they wouldn’t love him if they knew him. The real him: the ugly side along with the beautiful one he wore. The side that wasn’t always adventurous, daring, bold, brave… happy, go-getting.

Nobody would stay for the ugly part of him.

In that regard, Sirius was unloveable. Completely, utterly unloveable.

Currently, the uglier, caged part of Sirius re-emerged as he writhed around in his bed. Eyes moved rapidly behind eyelids, squinted in pain as he squirmed around, clutching the bed sheets tightly. His head flopped from side to side as he was unable to wake; stuck in a nightmare.

“You mudblood lover —” “Don’t call them that!” “Babies, Regulus, babies!” “It’s killing me to stay.” “CRUCI —”

Sirius woke with a jolt, choking on a strangled scream that clawed at his throat. His mind seemed to be encased in a wordless static, muting him to the noise around him as he felt the rapid, hard thumps against his chest. Distantly, he could feel his body raking in waves as the sticky, cold feeling of his sweat dripped from his temple and down the side of his face. It made his hair stick to his forehead uncomfortably yet somehow, despite the sweating and the overwhelming feeling of heat, he felt ice cold.

He swallowed thickly, sniffingly away the stinging growing behind his eyelids but failed as a few stray tears had already settled on his cheeks. Sirius looked around frantically, meeting the familiar red and gold bed sheets that were now pushed off of him as he sat upright in his bed. Red velvet drapes hung around the sides, pulled together as slivers of bright light sliced through them. It made him squint and focus on the surroundings.

Soon enough, it felt like a weight lifted off his chest, marked in unspoken forgiveness once realizing where he was.

You’re safe, his inner voice spoke firmly, It was just a dream. A dream.

“Wakey, wakey Padfoot!”

He had just enough time to wipe the freshly fallen tears away before James ripped back his curtains, jumping into his bed. He drew a deep sigh, avoiding James’ eyes and trained them to look outside.

Upon the grass and mountains, snow sprinkled on much like sugar over a cake. The distant chirping of birds could be heard singing their usual song, or more like an alarm clock, as they soared high in the sky without a worry in the world.

If only Sirius could be a bird, what a simple life he would lead.

“Fuck you,” groaned Remus, “He might be awake, but I’m not.” His eyes clenched in annoyance, throwing his blanket over his head.

“Well aren’t you lovely? Isn’t he, Sirius?”

“The loveliest,” he managed to grit out, throat groggy and dry.

“Shut up!”

“Okay, calm down big bad wolf.”

“Well,” he mocks James, his voice going an octave higher, “This big bad wolf can maul you.”

James beamed brightly, the ever morning person he was, unaffected by Moony’s response. Instead, he padded his way over to him, shaking him before Remus flipped the covers off his body, tackling him into his bed.

“Do you guys think I should cut my hair?” James managed to get out as he gasped. Remus sprawled out on top of him, pinning him in place as he was being crushed from his weight. “I want to make sure I look good for today.”

“You’re always in need of a trim,” Peter called out.

“You look fine,” Remus added, “Besides, you and scissors are not a good move right now.”

Meanwhile, Sirius’ stomach felt hollow, worry ate at his very being before he felt something rise within his throat. Quickly, swinging his legs over the edge, Sirius made his way to the loo in a rush while James and Remus were both distracted.

Peter was there, rifling through the cabinets with his toothbrush dangling from his lips. “Morning,” he said, not quite looking over to him, “Do we have any more toothpaste? I keep telling Prongs not to use so much…”

“Get out,” he managed to say before shoving Peter out of the door, closing it shut. He barely managed to cast a silencing charm before opening the lid of the toilet seat, throwing up. For the most part, Sirius gagged on air before finally attempting to collect himself, preventing hyperventilation.

Foolishly, even up until that dreaded night, Sirius had an ounce of hope. For what exactly, he wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was hope that Regulus might have turned out different, or maybe it was hope that he’d finally be accepted, even though he knew that would never be the case — never with parents like Walburga or Orion.

But every time he dared to dream, to hope, he was always quickly reminded why it hurt. Hope was dangerous, a false sense of reality — a taste of what people dreamt and chase for but could never quite grasp.

It was more addicting than any kind of alcohol he drank — or the girls — or pranks.

Eventually, he got up from the floor, jumped in the shower and followed his morning routine before wrapping a towel around himself and stepped out.

Sirius was drying his hair before catching a glimpse of himself in the large mirror in front of the sink.

Sirius had never been insecure about the way he looked. A part of him, the arrogant and narcissistic part of him knew that he looked good and he’d flaunt it. But there were times like today, where he’d look at himself, but feel as if he’s looking at a familiar face that wasn’t his — a monster reflected back.

He wondered if this is what Moony felt like.

For a moment, Sirius let his face rest, allowing the helpless, loitering fear and guilt he felt engrave its way onto the smooth surface of his skin.

The eyes looking back at him today were his father’s, his hair reminded him too much of Regulus, his high cheekbones reminded him of Walburga and the tired, slightly crazed look reminded him of Bellatrix.

A member of the Black family, that's what people saw when they first looked at Sirius, the heir of the most noble and ancient house of Black.

Sirius Orion Black.

Orion Black… Even his name made him want to cry out in rage. Another reminder.

Pushing back his wet hair, he studied the faded scar that disappeared into his hairline.

It was more apparent than ever that Sirius had scars.

But unlike James, whose scars were from happy memories of the Quidditch pitch, or Peter, whose only scars were from chopping chocolate for a fancy baking recipe — and lastly, Remus, whose scars were visible, laid out for everyone to see, Sirius’ scars were invisible.

He wore them day in and day out without anyone ever knowing.

With a blink, he drowned out his thoughts immediately; his dreams, his past, his thoughts were for another time.

He sucked in a breath, clicking the door open.

Remus was the only other person still in the dorm. He stood in front of the mirror, buttoning up his white school shirt before ducking down and grabbed his bag, shoving in books, his wand and any other loose pages of parchment that he assumed was for his little study group.

“Where’s Wormy and James?” He asked, not liking the way his voice sounded wobbly and hoarse. His eyes no longer peered up at his chap, instead looking around the room. Anywhere but his face.

Thankfully, Moony didn’t seem to notice, preoccupied with the now overflowing pile of Valentine gifts and cards on his bedside. He grew frustrated with them with every passing second as they littered his space.

“Accio bin!”

The black bin from across the room flew into Remus’ hand, quickly shoving the letters in but soon a guilty look flashed across his face.

Remus had always been too considerate about their feelings, perhaps Sirius should take a page from his book.

Sirius had a pile accumulating on the carpet beside his trunk; it seemed like more and more people every year were confessing their feelings, but this time, Remus seemed to be getting a lot more along with the rest of the Marauders. But he smiled, happy to know that Remus had been getting some action. He fucking needed it.

“Er — sorry, Pete’s off to Wood’s room to borrow their toothpaste and James —” Remus cut himself off, bringing a hand to the sides of his temples as he moved them in circular motions. “I’m pretty sure Prongs went to find Y/N. Something about finishing a sign or a song for today —”

Sirius bit back a laugh, “A song?”

“I guess he’s fucking Paul McCartney now.”

Remus passed him, disappeared into the loo, giving enough time for Sirius to get dressed.

It was his third dream that week about that night and it was wearing down on him emotionally. He was losing sleep, he wasn’t eating, he was reclining from the Marauders, he was so prone to anger; lashing out, yelling… he didn’t like how he was acting — it reminded him too much of Orion.

And the thought made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to be a monster.

Lost in his depressing thoughts, Remus re-entered the room. But instead of walking up to his bed, Remus halted, looking directly at him before he crossed the room, putting a protective, encouraging hand onto his shoulder. A serious and calculated look crossed his face.

“Do you need anything?” He spoke in a hushed voice, as if he were to speak any louder, the walls might hear.

Sirius felt unexpected annoyance brewing in his chest. Bloody fucking Lupin, of course he knew — using his heightened senses to sniff out his distress.

Unlike Sirius, who hid his emotions, who covered and buried even a sign of weakness, who searched for answers high and low, Remus was so blunt — clear cut with his emotions. He knew just what to say, knew what was happening before others did even if they hadn’t even spoken yet.

He wished his thought process was as clear-cut as Moony’s.

“What do you mean? I’m fine,” he said, faking nonchalance. Jokingly, he prodded Remus’ cheek with his finger, “Turning into Moomy, again?”

His friend did not smile, concern still latched on.

“You know I’m always here for —” Before he could say anything more, Sirius hastily grabbed his bag, slinging over his shoulder, bolting out of the room.

Hiding — running away from his problems — that’s what Sirius was an expert on. And like that, he switched off that part — the ugly, unloveable part of his brain for the day.

When Sirius reached the Great Hall, he wasn’t surprised when a dozen owls bombarded him with letters and chocolates. It brought a sly smile to his lips

What? He did say he was arrogant.

“Looking grand, Black,” Marlene teased as she observed the overflowing amount of cards already in his arms. She ruffled his hair as he was forced to take the seat next to L/N. Marlene turned to chat with Dorcas, who finally was back on her feet and kicking it.

“It’s not even eight and your bag is filled?!” Peter exclaimed, baffled.

A part of Sirius didn’t feel annoyed as he sat beside her. Maybe it was because his main stressor, the Black family, was out of the picture and he’d been desperately trying to control his lash outs, but Sirius was stumped. Since the break, especially after the ‘Muggle’ incident, he found himself tolerating her presence.

Just a bit.

He understood why James, Remus, Lily, Marlene; why everyone took a liking to her.

But he had an inkling as to why.

Although, his mixed feelings towards her were not helping in the slightest as he dealt with the string of recent events in his life.

She was the one that spoke first, which surprised him.

“Ugh —” Y/N fiddled with the hem of her robes, “Kettleburn wants us to switch the Puffeskin between us. I was thinking since we’re in the same house, we could keep it in one of our dorms. I was thinking about keeping it in yours.”

“Why not yours?”

“They liked to hatch in warm places. Your dorm has a fireplace, right? I remember James telling me you had one… And it would make it easier since women can go into the boy’s dorms.”

For some reason, he couldn’t stop himself — he just couldn’t. “I bet you’re trying to get off quick.”

The accusations did not sit right with her.

For someone like Sirius, someone who dealt with the worst shit imaginable; someone who'd been beaten down, both metaphorically and literally — someone who by the textbook was supposed to curl in on himself — keep to himself, be small, avoid drama, don’t cause arguments — Sirius did anything but that. Everything he did, he made sure to cause a reaction.

“No —”

“Are we about to argue because you want to win, or is it because you want to learn?.”

“You’re so arrogant. I don’t need you for grades. Your brain probably grew twice in size when I turned you into a dog.”

“Didn’t ask.”

“Then why are you replying?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Very creative.”

“Do you ever just shut up?” She snaps. Her face inched closer to his.

Unbeknownst to her, for a second, a second that he’d never admit, Sirius' brain falters. They hadn’t been this close to each other since that day after Kettleburn had assigned their group project. He catches the smell of faint floral — tulips, he thinks. Or maybe vanilla? Books? Tea? He couldn’t place it.

But his heart did a funny thing. It never does a funny thing like that and it concerns him. He wasn’t sick, was he?

Silence lingers.

L/N scoffed, “Well finally, it looks like you have.”

Although, she seems completely unphased by their closeness.

“Huh, you really do shut up.”

He snorts, his brain finally working again. “You nag an awful lot.”

“Well, you —”

“Whiskers. You’re a woman, how do I look?” James asked. He came bouncing up to them across the hall from the entrance. He twirls a little, showing off his outfit. In one hand, he held a sign and a bunch of roses. “Would you fancy me?”

“Dropping hints, are we, Potter?” She smirks playfully, “Anyway, I know you nicked that from Sirius.”

Sirius looked over to him, his head nodding up and down but was surprised that she noticed the difference, “She’s right, that is mine. Maybe that’s why you look so good.” He meant for the remark to come off as a joke, but cringed as the words spewed from his mouth. He sounded like a complete arse.

James ignores him, “I have everything planned.” Then, he holds up a sign, all in baby pink with hearts dancing across the page as a huge message declaring his affection for Emmeline was written in bold fonts. I looked fairly cheesy, but that was James for you. A romantic at heart.

“Well,” he starts, clearly happy, “Do you like it?! I’ve also got a song written!”

“Remember the last time you wrote someone a —”

Y/N kicked him, hard, under the table, which caused Sirius to look at her sharply before his face turned annoyed again. She hadn’t even glanced his way yet. She continued to calm James down, giving him a pep talk while Sirius would jump in with encouraging words.

“Of course we love it — is it for Lily or —”

James shakes his head and they both knew who he was referring to.

“— Then Emmeline will love it even more! Get the girl, Bambi!”

James smiled triumphantly, sticking his fist out for a fist bump before running off happily towards the Ravenclaw table.

“Y’know,” Y/N starts, talking to Sirius as they both watch as James gets up on the table, preparing to serenade Emmeline in front of the entire Great Hall with a guitar that vaguely looks like Remus’. “You can choose not to be a dick.”

Surprisingly, he laughed, small, but there. And then, he finds himself responding to her comments, “I beg to differ.”

“Then beg.”

Sirius’ eyes widened, feeling his mouth go dry. He bit the inside of his cheek, eyes fluttering shut a couple times. It didn’t help that she smirked at his reaction and it made Sirius feel funny. An odd swoop piddled at the base of his stomach.

“I’ll take that into consideration for later,” he settled on.

Remus and Lily waltzed into the room, both holding small cards of their own. L/N and Sirius shuffled over as much as they could to fit in with both Remus and Lily.

A part of Sirius’ routine had started incorporating Lily doing his hair. Most often, she did pretty braids or buns — but of course, not without James pouting to him later. He only hoped that with Emmeline’s new presence, James would stop.

“Ooo la-la!” Y/N mocked, swiping one of the cards from Lily and Remus. “You two are popular.” She turned to face Lily.

“It’s n-nothing, really, “Lily stuttered, her head ducking down. But her eyes seemed to look up at her, seemingly in hope of some recognition.

“Don’t be so modest!”

“A-hem!” James’ bostal voice. His foot wobbled on the edge of the table that made them all nervous if he were to fall. He finally concluded his song. Lily looked over and smiled, glad to know that James had finally chosen a different target to annoy.

“Fuckin’ barmy,” Remus muttered out, a hand going to cover his mouth in suspense. His hand travelled down to his chin-stroking his jaw.

“Emmeline, thou beauty —”

“Oh my god,” groaned Remus again, sinking in his seat from the second embarrassment but smiling nevertheless.

However, Marlene whopped loudly, a large grin on her face.

Lily looked over to the scene, her eyes finding their way back to L/N, Peter paled slightly at the scene, Marlene was howling in laughter along with Sirius.

But much like himself, L/N found herself laughing with them too.

Her laughter rang out, and Sirius found himself drawn to the noise. But what was worse, was that he wanted to hear it again.

And even though he knew that other women and even men were staring at him right now, ready to give him all their affection and attention, Sirius found himself unable to look away from her.

He felt his palms getting sweaty, his heart beat harder, he wanted to sit closer to her and a smile tugged at his lips but he forced it down.

Fuck.

It was almost as the realization hit him there like a thousand tidal waves.

His heart jumped, it sped up fast, he felt his skin heat and her laugh put him into a trance — everything like what James described it to feel like.

If it was what he thought it was, Sirius wasn’t quite pleased with his newfound knowledge. He already had too much shit to deal with and certainly, someone like her was not worth it.

As the thought arose, there was something else that pulled him from these thoughts; it was the very shit that Sirius was dealing with, coming to haunt him again.

Regulus entered the Great Hall and Sirius had the urge to run to the nearest bin again. He hadn’t seen him since that night.

Within seconds, Regulus sensed his gaze and their eyes locked.

He wasn’t proud of Regulus, if anything, Sirius resented him — hated him and his entire body spiked in anger as he stared at him. He chose his path. But he couldn’t help but feel immense, dreadful guilt.

He could’ve done more, been there for him more, talked to him more. There were so many possibilities, so many outcomes and Sirius managed to end up with one of the worst paths imaginable.

He both wanted to scoop him up in his arms, cry — hold onto him tight like how they used to years ago, but the other part also wanted to take a Beater’s bat and swing a Bludger at his head.

His head shook slightly, just enough for Regulus to get the hint.

There was a hard, hopeless expression on Regulus’ face as he seemed to take a sharp inhale, his shoulders slumping within every passing second.

They were from two separate worlds, more evident than ever now. They weren’t brothers, not really.

Two of the brightest stars were torn apart forevermore.

Once the bell rang, Sirius sprang out of his seat and walked down the halls. He dodged owls, letters, chocolates and even a few love potions. There was a familiar void that punched its way through Sirius’ chest.

It was too early for firewhiskey, he couldn’t get knackered, he couldn’t talk to James, not when he was this happy and getting a pack of smokes from Remus — he’d bloody know within seconds what was wrong and call a Marauder's meeting or sort out some intervention for his sanity. Besides, he needed to apologize to Peter for how he acted that morning.

So the next best thing; snogging — a quick shag.

The next girl that tossed a flirtatious wink his way, he immediately approached. She was pale, had brown hair, soft skin and he vaguely recognized her but couldn’t quite place it. They flirted, Sirius would suggest it, she smiled, nodding her head and giving out a breathless sigh as Sirius dove for her lips, walking into the nearest broom closet.

Things were fast, almost a blur. She reached down, fumbling with his buckle before it clanked to the floor; he unbuttoned her top, hoisting her up and pushing them against a wall. She let out soft whimpers and he groaned into her neck.

The sensation, the building pleasure had left as soon as it came, leaving him feeling empty once more. He peeled off the girl, checking if she was alright like every other time. He didn’t know her name, forgetting it, and smiled awkwardly as she dressed.

He watched her leave the broom closet, the door clicking softly behind her. He could hear the faint scuffle of her shoes as she skipped down the hall excitedly. She had gotten what she wanted, a piece of Sirius; the Sirius that he put out — the pretty, nicely packaged Sirius.

Bent down, sinking to the floor, rocking on the balls of his feet, arms wrapped tightly around his legs and his head resting on his knees; emotions pooled through Sirius, attacking his frail heart.

Sirius laughs; it was dry, sad, pathetic, defeated. It was hard enough to hide with smiles, pranks, the random girls, sex, but those happy hormones that he craved, it was never, ever enough.

He couldn't go on like this, he had to fix something because something else was bound to break.

His laughing became strained as the walls of his throat began to close, eyes filling with tears. But now, finally alone, he let them cascade freely as his quiet sobs echoed in the dusty closest.

Love isn’t a magic potion.

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

【I hope it was clear in this chapter that in no way am I trying to romanticize Sirius's trauma】

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finalgilmoregirl · 3 years

Text

new years : 40s!stucky x fem!reader (all platonic) 🤍

a/n: this wasn’t requested but i’ve been thinking about this for a few days and thought i should write it! i hope you enjoy, AND HAPPY LATE NEW YEARS!!!

sorry for any typos, i’m really tired.

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“you would think since she’s the one always rushing us she’d be ready by now.” bucky grumbled, leaning on your apartments door.

new year’s eve. an exciting time that brings hope of improvement and change in the world. every year for as long as you could remember you’d spent the night with your favorite boys. being friends since childhood, you never went a day without seeing eachother. even when one of your family’s decided to hold a trip, the other two just had to tag along. and tonight was no exception.

“how much longer we got till midnight?” steve asked.

“mmmm....maybe an hour and a half. we should be able to make it.” bucky said, checking his watch.

“i don’t get why we can’t just stay inside and listen to the countdown on the radio. or even go to a bar?” steve complained.

“she said she wanted to feel the new year. which if by feel she means the cold she’s gonna have us freeze to death in? then yeah. i’m definitely feelin’ it.” the older boy shivered.

their attention was turned to the door when they heard the sound of locks being undone, both letting out a sigh of relief. you opened the door, revealing you in your favorite turtleneck and long plaid skirt. your hair and makeup all done up, the smile you had on your face looking straight out of a catalogue.

“you boys ready to go?” you asked them, happy to see them dressed in their best coats with their hair slicked back. you locked your door and adjusted the purse on your shoulder before you began to walk toward the street, until bucky stopped you.

“you forgetting something y/n/n?” he asked, holding your arm. you suddenly felt the harsh cold and realized you forgot your coat.

“oh! right. thanks buck.” you blushed, opening your door again to retrieve your forgotten winter coat.

the boys smiled at your obvious excitement and started to walk away whilst you shut your door again. you quickly caught up and intertwined your arms with theirs as the three of you made your way to the nearest park to watch the fireworks.

the three of you walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes, listening to the sounds coming from different houses and restaurants. steve was the first to talk, turning his head to you and bucky.

“what do you guys want out of the new year?” he asked, curious to hear what his best friends were hoping for.

“that michelle santana lets me take her out. maybe save up to buy a telescope too.” bucky was quick to say. the ridiculous first answer making you and steve burst out laughing.

“oh please james.” you taunted. “it’s supposed to be a resolution not a miracle.” michelle was one of the most well known girls around, and while most would fall at buckys feet given the chance, she just wasn’t interested.

“oh yeah? what’s your answer then?” bucky huffed, offended by your statement.

“i’m going to get my driver’s license so i don’t have to be seen walking around with you clowns.” you sighed, earning a glare from both boys.

“the hell did i do?” steve asked, whipping his head to look straight at you.

“nothing stevie.” you reassured, patting the blonde boy’s face. “it’s this one that kills it for both of you.” you pointed your thumb at bucky.

“oh yeah? with the way you nearly crashed my pa’s old car? you might as well be asking for a miracle too.” bucky snickered, referring to your failed and only other attempt at driving.

you gasped and pushed him away, pulling steve’s arm to walk ahead of him. bucky cackled behind you two and jogged ahead, throwing an arm around your shoulder. “oh c’mon doll you know i’m just teasing.” he kissed your cheek, to which you fake gagged and wiped it away. “i believe in you. i really do.” he said, giving you a soft smile. you turned your head towards steve, who had yet to give his answer.

“what about you steve? what are you hoping for this year?” you asked. he squinted his eyes and looked ahead as he thought.

“well” he began. “as much as this sounds like wishing for a miracle too, i want to get better, maybe even stronger.”

you and bucky smiled at your friends answer. you knew that with his conditions, getting any stronger than he was now was asking for a lot, but that never stopped steve and you both doubted he would stop anytime soon.

the three of you conversed and joked about nonsense for the rest of the walk, and by the time you approached the park there was 45 minutes until 12:00. the park held the other families of the neighborhood. all drinking and dancing while the clock that stood at the church across the street shone bright. you sat down on a nearby bench, hoping to rest your feet before you inevitably had to walk back home. you hummed along to the soft love songs that echoed through the park, shoving your freezing hands in your coat pocket. meanwhile the two boys paced in circles, having their own conversation about god knows what.

a while later, bucky stood in front of you with a hand reaching out. you raised an eyebrow as your gaze flickered from his hand to his face.

“c’mon doll. dance with me.” he smirked. dream a little dream of me was playing, a song he knew you wouldn’t be able to resist, the slow song being probably your favorite in the world. you gave him a smile and took hold of his hand, him pulling you up and steve taking your place on the bench. bucky held your waist close with one hand, while his other held yours. you placed your empty arm around his neck and rested your head on his chest, swaying along to the music, letting bucky lead. you loved bucky for a lot of things, but one of your favorites was how much of a great dance partner he was, you swore he could be a professional.

the hand bucky held on your waist slowly began to creep down south, which steve was quick to catch. “hey! watch those hands big guy.” he called bucky out, causing you to slap the back of his head. bucky chuckled and retreated his hand back onto your waist, mumbling a “sorry” in between giggles. as the song came to a close and a new one began, you kissed buckys cheek and made your way over to the bench. now it was your turn to offer a hand, but this time to steve. steve simply shook your hand with his and placed it back into his pocket, ignoring your offer.

you rolled your eyes and kept your arm outstretched. “c’mon stevie one dance. please.” you pleaded. steve rarely wanted to dance, you being the only exception a number of times. he was always worried of messing up though you told him that the only way to get better is to slip up a few times and learn. but steve rogers was always known to be a stubborn boy.

he looked at your pleading eyes and knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against them. groaning, he hesitantly took your hand and bit back a smile as you gratefully squealed. steve relaxed once he took note of the slow tempo of the song, glad he wouldn’t have too much trouble with it. he placed his hands where bucky did before and the two of you began your dance. bucky grinned at the sight of his two favorite people.

you leaned your head on steve’s shoulder and quietly sang along to the song that was playing.

never thought that you would be, standing here to close to me

there’s so much i feel that i should say

a beautiful song in your opinion, one you feel you could only understand when you’re around the people you love.

steve, feeling brave, decided to try and spin you. this caught you by suprise but you quickly went with it and the two of you succeeded nonetheless. steve beamed proudly as bucky cheered. “beautiful!”

you laughed, burying your face into steve neck. the song ended way too soon and the two of you sat on the opposite sides on bucky on the bench. you rested your head on his shoulder and reached for his arm to check the time. “how much longer jamie?” you asked. bucky took a look at his watch.

“10 minutes y/n/n.”

you groaned, already wanting the countdown to begin. it was so exciting, not to mention the joy that went through you at the sight of fireworks. the boys quietly laughed at your impatience and began playing some hand game to pass the time.

next thing you knew, five minutes had passed and you shot out of your seat, pulling steve and bucky up and dragging them towards the main street, to get a better view of the commotion bound to happen soon.

“jesus y/n you’re gonna rip my arm off.” you heard steve complain, but you paid no mind and continued marching on. you eventually abruptly stopped at the sidewalk, causing the boys behind you to nearly fall over.

two minutes left on the clock!

“okay.” you turned to the two boys. “who’s going to be my new years kiss?” both their eyes widened at the question. most years, while you three spent the night with eachother, usually found someone before the countdown to kiss. however since it was just the trio of you tonight, you had to compromise.

steve cleared his throught uncomfortably. “kiss? you?”

“yes! i need a new years kiss.” you explained, annoyed at the nervous expression on his face. “oh don’t be like that stevie, i was your first kiss for crying out loud!”

“yeah i suppose.” he shrugged, licking his chapped lips.

“so you’ll do it?” you asked.

“yeah, yeah.” steve nodded.

“hey hey hey what about me?” bucky whined. “i don’t got someone to kiss me.”

“relax. i’ll give you one after.” you told him, turning your attention to the church clock and the crowd that started to form around it as the countdown began.

ten, nine, eight

you reached for their hands, to which they happily accepted.

seven, six, five

you began to bounce in excitement, making your best friends laugh.

four, three, two

you began to join in on the chanting.

one, happy new year!!

you turned to steve and grabbed his face, pulling him into a hard kiss. everyone cheered as the church bells rang and fireworks began to erupt. steve held onto your waist and blushed as you pulled away, looking up to see the colorful sparks in the sky. you then turned to bucky, who was clapping at the view above and you pulled at his collar to give him a kiss as well, to which he quickly reciprocated and tried holding you tight. you pulled away and threw your arms around your favorite boys, bringing them into a group hug.

“i love you idiots.” you told them. they mumbled a couple “love you too”s but the moment was interrupted with the sounds of more fireworks. you stepped back to watch them and at that moment you felt ultimate happiness.

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i really hope you guys enjoyed this :)

#steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky x reader #pre serum steve #40s bucky #40s stucky #little marvel baby fic

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theviolencedistrict-archived · 3 years

Text

what do i do with a love that won't sit still? written to: stray italian greyhound characters: mich/ael shell/ey (pre-distortion) & isaac campos (self-insert) words: 1,784 notes: How could he do that so easily? Michael was always the one in his place... walking on eggshells for other people who didn't truly care if he made it across the trap or cracked every shell trying. How was it so natural for Isaac to view him as his equal? As a human being?

Michael couldn't remember the last time he'd been on a date.

He figured it was during high school, and he recalled only one or two occasions where something akin to a date ever happened. With some other peon in the social caste of desks and period bells, desperate for positive attention as he was, and yet... They were always far more eager for his company than he was of theirs. It was never quite right. They were a lot like him in many ways, but they never clicked in a way beyond friendly classmates - not even really friends. He had few he considered that close, and though he realized it was fault of his own insecurities and doubts, it made him feel... guilt. Loneliness. He spent far too much time in those moments wondering if this was how life would be for him, or if he was born in a very wrong place, time, way, something -

"This is amazing!"

The blonde man blinked himself back to reality, as if waking suddenly from a dream. He saw sun rays on the backsplash of his cooking station, just above the oven. What had he been thinking about? He didn't know anymore. How could he? That special voice he could pick out in a crowd of a thousand people piped up behind him, and all he could do was smile and turn to face it, pulling mitts onto his large hands. His gaze met dull greenish eyes wide with enjoyment, a short man with a precious face and a soft sweater, sitting at his tiny kitchen table. It was lucky, he mused, that it was built specifically for two. What he failed to notice was that his smile was a real one. Not the tight-lipped, shy grin he gave to everyone he passed by at work, or to the archivist despite her never returning one. When Michael smiled around this boy, he showed all his teeth - the gap in his two fronts, the few slightly crooked on the bottom, and the snaggleteeth canines on both edges of his top lip.

He was so very sad about the state of those teeth, once. Not here. Not with him.

"Really, do you like it?" Michael's voice nearly cracked like a nervous teenager as he admired his companion sipping away at the contents of his patterned glass, "It's summer beer! Or, well, fruit beer - it's, ehm, lemonade and beer, fruit jellies, watermelon and pineapple and mint - with the other fruit there as embellishments - I-I felt you might be the kind of person who likes tropical flavors. Is it true, in America, lemonade isn't fizzy?" He rambled on, bright blue eyes bouncing from sight to sight, until he found himself calm enough to land upon that face once more... hanging on his every word.

"Mmmm... I never thought I'd like beer... You're very gifted, Michael," The dark haired boy spoke softly, "And of course lemonade isn't fizzy...! Once I find out who created lemonade first, we'll see who's in the right here." He giggled, and Michael felt his heart jumped as he gripped the oven handle behind him. There was nobody like Isaac. Nobody in the entire world.

"Well...! That's only refreshments, ahahah - I-I'm buzzing to see how you'll like the main course," He replied, taking internal note of the way his nervous stutters began to dissipate, and turned once more to let the hot air burst from behind the steaming door, "Hmm, which is better, though? In your American opinion, since you've had both?"

"Hm. I have always been a sucker for carbonated drinks..." Isaac answered honestly, pulling a high-pitched giggle from Michael. Isaac was sweet and carbonated, himself - the way he filled the tall man with tickling bubbles and smiles you just can't deny. With the heat wafting up into his face, the lanky man thought with a light blush that he wouldn't mind a long drink of that boy. Instead of dwelling on that, he allowed it to dissipate like the smoke, lips pursed in an embarrassed pout he hoped Isaac would mistake for focus. With this, he carried the full baking dish to the counter near the kitchen table, waving his mitted hands to help cool the food, though not quite well.

"Is that it? What is it? Can I see?" Isaac was chattery like a child, something Michael had never seen in him outside of their personal time together. It was precious, and it dawned on him that this was probably a side of the small man that only he got to witness. Batting his long lashes, the tall blonde hummed a familiar tune and playfully ignored the attempted peeks by the object of his affections. He professionally sprinkled honey over the main affair of lunch he had prepared for the two. Flipping it perfectly onto a large, kitschy plate, the smoke slowed and slimmed, leaving a trail of sweet scents on its way to the table.

"They are honey bread rolls," Michael began, smiling gently as the black haired guest stared in delight, "Rather simple, but a favorite of mine. It's... comforting. Like childhood... A-ah, ehm, it's, ah, hand-kneaded and baked with honey and sesame seeds. I-I made sure to find a gluten free flour for you, and it still turned out rather fluffy!" The unusual budding of pride germinated in his chest as he finished speaking. The way the other man's eyes glistened as he admired Michael's own home cooking, the genuine smile he wore... Nobody had ever made Michael feel like he did something right - like he was someone special, worth a damn - until Isaac.

"That's amazing! They smell so good! I can't believe you made this from scratch! We can just rip pieces off," The man's tiny hands reached for a corner piece of bite sized, browned bread, softer than sponge, and tore it from it's flimsy connection to the others, "Like this? Is that okay?" Isaac gazed up at the much loftier male with expectancy, as if asking for permission. How could he do that so easily? Michael was always the one in his place... walking on eggshells for other people who didn't truly care if he made it across the trap or cracked every shell trying. How was it so natural for Isaac to view him as his equal? As a human being?

He always did. Without fail.

"That's... Y-y-yes. That's just perfect." Michael uttered out, all effeminate and breaking, unable to will the red tinting his cheeks away. Taking his seat across from Isaac then, he took a piece of his own, happily taking questions from the man and falling into a conversation about cooking - as easy as pie. It was as if they had known one another since they were in cradles. From day one, their chance encounter and quick reunion, that bond weaved between them in the snap of a finger, the blink of an eye. Michael was so, so very grateful. They spoke, and they laughed, and the blonde's cheeks tingled each time his crush dipped a piece of his bread in his homemade cream. His bread, his cream. Those which he had crafted with his own two hands, the same shaky and nail-bitten hands which struggled with boxes and tea and everything in between at the Institute. Now... calmed. Warm.

It took both men by surprise when the sun began to set, the earlier yellowy white rays of sunlight now a dreamlike orange through the windows. The time for fun and games was winding down, and shortly, Michael would have to bid Isaac farewell until they next met - at work, most likely, in a day or two. The honey rolls were long since eaten, drinks finished, hearts full. The older of the two had begun to fiddle with the seams of his shirt, or the stitches of pockets in his pants, timid feelings creeping their way back into his ribcage. In truth, he knew fully - he didn't want to say goodbye.

"Thank you for everything, today. You didn't have to go out of your way for me, a-and it was all delicious. We have to do this again soon, okay?" Isaac smiled from below Michael, standing just outside the door to his flat. A slender hand reached to scratch at the back of his neck sheepishly, face full of starry feelings and most likely glowing. He nodded, chuckles escaping him.

"Y-yeah, of course! You're - you're always welcome back here, you know...!" Came Michael's response, grinning at the man he towered over. A small giggle came from the boy in the sweater, clutching the strap to his backpack. Then, the very same boy made a gesture that Michael didn't quite process at first. He beckoned him with his four little fingers, causing blue eyes to blink, but then obey. How could he not? Undone blonde curls fell over his shoulders and framed his face as he bent his knees and leaned over close to Isaac. Not close enough, clearly, as those same little hands grasped his shirt gently and pulled him down. Michael's mind swam, overcome with dizziness and confusion and rainbows.

This was definitely, definitely, not what he saw coming when he brushed his teeth and pulled on his trousers this morning.

Soft, sultry lips pressed momentarily to the corner of Michael's mouth. It wasn't quite a kiss, if anything at all, and yet his heart drummed maniacally through his entire body. Time stopped, and surely the whole earth did, as well. His face burned fiercely, and when Isaac released him at last, he got a front seat to watching the man lick his own lips.

"Sorry... You had a little bit of whipped cream there," Came Isaac's snicker and the flutter of his washed out green eyes, "I'll see you at work, okay?" He bit his lower lip and walked backwards in his worn down sneakers, watching his host tremble ever so slightly with his mouth ajar, before waving and making his quick exit towards the stairwell.

"T... T... T-t-text when you get h-home safe...!" Was the last thing that broke free from Michael Shelley's tightened throat, receiving a simple sound of understanding in the distance, sounding with echoes of footsteps down the stairs.

The poor man was going to lose his mind. Especially with the sleep he was not going to get that night. Swallowing hard, fingers upon the spot where his beloved's lips had been, he backed into his home and shut the door with a gentle click.

Michael couldn't remember the last time he'd been on a date. However, he was sure the only dates he'd want to be on for the rest of his life were with Isaac Campos.

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twobitmulder · 3 years

Text

When did Storm Shadow Become a Villain?

There is a scene in GI Joe Resolute where Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow are having their obligatory Ninja Battle and (Spoilers I Guess) Storm Shadow reveals that he orchestrated his uncle, The Hard Master’s, death and that he fully meant to kill Snake Eyes as well, out of jealousy and because his uncle would not teach him the final secret to killing a man in seven steps, fearing that young Storm Shadow was too volatile and violent. Towards the end of the battle Storm Shadows wrist bands come off, revealing his Arashikage tattoo on one arm and a Cobra Sigil on the other.

This version of Storm Shadow (Voiced by “every Beagle Boy on Ducktales” Eric Bauza) stands out amongst his post-2000 incarnations as an unrepentant psychopath, but still falls in line with the prominent view of Storm Shadow as a villain--one of the main villains with a special hatred for his GI Joe counterpart.

This is the version I grew up with. GI Joe vs Cobra through Sigma 6 were the prominent Joe adaptations when I was the target demographic and all throughout Storm Shadow was a bad guy to varying degrees.

I knew in the classic Hama stuff he eventually defected, but I was not prepared for just how much he’s a heroic character from the start. There’s no big sword dual with Snake Eyes, no Anakin and Obi Wan style “friend turned bitter enemy” dynamic. It’s made clear from jump that Tommy is undercover in Cobra and remains an honorable man in search of justice. He leaves Cobra quickly and is branded as a Joe in all his figures until 2000--when they started packing their characters in two-packs with one Joe and one Cobra. In all appearances, Storm Shadow is more a Joe than a Cobra. So what led to the the modern view of Storm Shadow as a bad guy, who, even when he gets his redemption, still has a mean streak and a cruel manner? How did a character in a toy driven franchise who had more toys as a hero than a villain end up as one of the franchise’s most consistent villains?

*(For simplicity’s sake, this is only going to cover film and television portrayals of the character).

*Spoilers for pretty much every GI Joe adaptation to follow.

The first portrayal of Storm Shadow as Cobra Commander’s loyal and competent hatchet man (one of the few) is not too much older than Hama’s original Marvel version. The Sunbow version of Storm Shadow (voiced by “guy you’ve heard in everything” Keone Young) remained a loyal cobra agent--with none of the Hama version’s depth.

He had what you might call “standard cartoon Ninja honor” where he clearly had some kind of code of ethics, but was primarily an arrogant killer (as much as he could be in a cartoon) who fought primarily with Spirit and Quick Kick (voiced by wonderfully talented “guy you’ve seen in everything” Francois Chau) as Snake Eyes was largely shunted to the side in the cartoon. The echoes of Sunbow Storm Shadow can be seen in pretty much every non-comic adaptation that followed.

Skipping right over the Dic continuation of the Sunbow cartoon because Storm Shadow actually is a Joe in that, as he was in the comics and figures of the time (and because I haven’t seen it) we come to the 2000′s era.

The Spy Troops and Valor vs. Venom DTV movies had a Storm Shadow (voiced by “guy who got his blood ripped out by Magneto in X2: X-Men United” Ty Olsson) who was essentially his Sunbow self with one major change. He actually had a history with Snake Eyes, and a bitter rivalry. The details are not gone into in either film (you get a little more in the figure file cards and mini-comics of the era) but Storm Shadow accuses Snake Eyes of betraying the Arashikage. The implication being that either Storm Shadow blames Snake Eyes for some crime or another or that there was a schism in clan.

The File cards of the time movie go from acknowledging Storm Shadow’s time as a Joe, and claiming he’s working with Cobra again for unknown reasons, to establishing their own canon that Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were once best friends and “Sword Brothers” before Storm Shadow fell to the dark side and joined Cobra. Though Storm Shadow’s file card does end with the ominous implication that he’s got his own agenda in working with Cobra (just like his Hama incarnation) the DTV films imply that he’s a Cobra loyalist in addition to his feud with Snake Eyes.

Spy Troops and Valor vs. Venom lead in a semi-canonical way to GI Joe Sigma 6 where Storm Shadow (voiced by “guy whose only other role I recognize is pulling double duty as Zeke Stane and Living Laser in the Iron Man 3 videogame” Tom Wayland) more or less continues the previous two iterations’ version of Storm Shadow. He once again accuses Snake Eyes of some great betrayal that broke their friendship. The GI Joe website at the time includes the detail that Storm Shadow was infiltrating Cobra when he was brainwashed into becoming a loyal Cobra agent. It’s another concession, like his 2001 file card, to Hama’s heroic double agent, while still portraying him in line with Sunbow’s villainous henchman.

GI Joe Resolute comes next, where we see a departure from any pretense of Storm Shadow being a good guy. Resolute, in many ways, comes off as a gritty direct continuation of the Sunbow series, and it takes Sunbow’s villainous Storm Shadow and strips him of even the token bits of honor and humanity he had. It also, as near as I can tell, begins the trend of Storm Shadow outright resenting Snake Eyes, rather than being his one time friend.

As an irrelevant aside, I have my problems with Resolute but I do love everyone’s character designs and Eric Bauza does a fantastic job as one fourth of the cast. His Sean Connery impression for Destro is particularly inspired.

This brings us to the big ones. GI Joe: RIse of Cobra and GI Joe: Retaliation where Storm Shadow is brought to the big screen by Lee Byung-Hun (who I don’t have a snarky/informative aside for because shamefully despite how prolific he is I’ve only seen him in these movies and The Magnificent 7 remake) and as a child by Brandon Soo Hoo (he’s also been in a lot of stuff, but I particularly liked his turn as Beast Boy in the animated New 52 DC movies).

Lee’s Storm Shadow in the first film falls in line with his portrayals up to this point, probably skewing most closely towards Sunbow. He has a code of ethics (he doesn’t kill women apparently) but he’s still a bad guy and he seems to quite like it. Lee brings a charm to the character that had not really existed up until that point. He also spends a lot of time maskless (and it’s hard to blame the production team for that one, he’s a very handsome dude) which was a shock for anyone who grew up with the 2001 era storm shadow where the thought of him without a mask was so insane that it was relegated to a mail in figure (As a kid I seriously thought he had some Mandalorian style code of not removing it)

His origin in this version takes bits of Hama and bits of Resolute (or Resolute took from this, Resolute came out first but this might have been in development). It is, as far as I can tell, the first version to have Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes train together as children and it portrays Storm Shadow, even as a child, as an arrogant and jealous person.

Now, at least in my opinion, it’s fairly obvious that the first movie fully intended Storm Shadow to be a baddie, full stop. There’s a little wiggle room given that we never see him stab The Hard Master in the flashback (the Hard Master in this version is Storm Shadow’s father rather than his uncle) but the way he taunts Snake Eyes about it during their final confrontation makes a pretty compelling case for his having committed patricide.

The sequel would bring back elements of the Hama backstory. Zartan killed The Hard Master and Storm Shadow had to infiltrate Cobra to discover that. Given Cobra Commander and Storm Shadow are of roughly the same age (Storm Shadow being a bit older I think) and this event occurred when they were both children it’s unclear on who’s orders Zartan did this but we do know it was done to turn the already volatile young man into the perfect angry ninja assassin (given this canon is pretty much over we’ll probably never know for sure, but my guess based on the IDW movie universe comics is that Zartan either did it at the behest of the Red Ninja Clan or just to have a tiny assassin of his own, probably the former since they seem to regard each other as unpleasant colleagues who sometimes work together).

What I particularly like about this version is that, because the first movie portrayed him as this charmingly sadistic Bond Villain henchman, even after he switches sides in the sequel he’s still kind of a belligerent dick. It’s a fun piece of characterization that even once he’s cleared his name, avenged his father, and made his peace with his family, it doesn’t change the fundamental fact that he’s not a very nice person.

This is something that would persist into the next (and for the moment last, but more on that later) onscreen version of Storm Shadow.

GI Joe Renegades (the best GI Joe Cartoon, fight me) saw Storm Shadow (voiced by “holy crap this guy originated the role of Saw Gerrera in Clone Wars” Andrew Kishino) as the leader of the Arashikage Clan (explicitly a crime syndicate, harkening back to implications in Hama’s version) who operates independent of Cobra except very briefly and only to fulfill his own ends (again bringing him closer to Hama’s version than any of his predecessors). Falling in line with the implications of the movie and Resolute, he and Snake Eyes were uneasy classmates more than friends and trained together as teenagers. An attempt to kill Snake Eyes went awry and resulted in the death of the Hard Master (who again, seemed to favor Snake Eyes over his own nephew). Storm Shadow believes Snake Eyes to have killed The Hard Master(somehow failing to connect the dots given his own murder plan failed the same night Snake Eyes allegedly murdered his uncle--or hell he’s probably just in denial until the truth slaps him in the face).

Also, irrelevant aside number 2, in contrast with Resolute I really don’t like this character design. Renegades had pretty good character design all around, neatly bringing together various versions in a way that felt coherent but I don’t like the little tufts of hair sticking out of the mask or the way it kinda hangs in front of his mouth. Is he hiding his face or not? It seems like he’s not so much wearing a mask as a bandana and an oversized turtleneck.

This version neatly ties together the “Snake Eyes betrayed us” of the early 2000′s, the “arrogant unfavorite” of the mid 2000s and the “out for justice assassin” of Hama’s run. He is, again, an arrogant prick from the start, but his genuine shame and resolve to abandon his quest for vengeance and his extremely short partnership with Cobra make his eventual redemption (or the start of what you assume would have been a longer redemption arc had the series continued) more believable than the live action movies--if a mite less fun.

And that’s where it ends, at least until the much delayed Snake Eyes live action movie is finally released, where Storm Shadow is set to be played by “guy from the best episode of American Gods Season 2″ Andrew Koji. I quite like the look of the cast of this movie, and I’m excited to see what Koji brings to the role. Will Storm Shadow be arrogant, murderous, honorable, charming, brooding, misunderstood, cruel, vengeful...some impossible combination of all of the above? We’ll have to wait and see.

*Including the various alternate comic book versions probably would have painted a more complete picture, but I’ve only read Hama’s run and the IDW reboot (where Storm Shadow is kind of a non-entity), besides this was more about tracing Storm Shadow through the adaptations I watched as a kid.

*None of the adaptations seem to go with Hama’s original detail that Storm Shadow and Jinx were from Northern California. On the one hand I see why you transplant them to Japan with the rest of their family (it’s a globetrotting element and makes the cast more cosmopolitan) but I always liked the idea of that they were children of immigrants.

*Adaptations have been touch and go about casting Japanese actors in the role but I was impressed to find out that Sunbow cast Japanese Americans as both Storm Shadow and Jinx, making them probably the most faithful casting in relation to their original backstories.

*Apologies for my complete inability to get screenshots of roughly the same size or resolution.

#gi joe #storm shadow

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lune-hime · 3 years

Text

Garden of Tulips (Levi/Reader) Chapter 5

~Click me for more chapters~

“What did it look like?”

“Hmm?” Levi looked up from his place next to your sleeping form. “The titan that tried to snack on my darling granddaughter.” “Ugly as fuck.” “Aren’t they all?”

Levi recounts memories of the reader and their shared life together while she recovers from a serious injury.

!!WARNINGS!! - Violence, gore, smut, wholesome content ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tulipa humilis ~ A tulip whose razor edged petals hold a sharpness akin to an ill-fated quarrel.

↞↠↞↠↞↠

Soon the quaintness of the surroundings turned into the bustling hub he had glided through yesterday. The city’s steeples were untouched by gigantic palms and virgin to their bloodied bites. Your grandmother parked the cart along the main street and bid Levi a farewell with the promise of a quick delivery.

Levi hopped out of the iron carriage and landed on the ground with a satisfying clap of expertly paved brick against his boots. After successfully depositing his letter into the letter box outside of the post office, he silently observed the busy mid-morning rush. Bakers displayed their sweet aromatic fresh bread, paper boys cycled vigorously as their bikes spewed water from the night’s rain, and your grandmother was networking with the smartly-dressed representative across the street. Levi was enjoying watching a poor passerby being swatted by a stray cat when two children across the way caught his eye. He was mid stretch when he realized they were staring at him. They would steal excited, and blatantly obvious, glances at him.

The boy could not have been more than 10 years old. He was a stocky child who looked like he should be sharing some of his breakfast with the timid girl next to him. She was fiddling with something in her hand but through the fanfare of carts and foot traffic he couldn’t quite make out it’s identity.

He decided not to be creepy and went back to his viewing of the street fighter match in front of him; the cat now battling a church going woman in her Sunday best.

Cat was winning.

Levi was so engrossed in the brawl that he had not noticed the children snake through the street to come and tug at his pant leg. He stiffened at the unexpected touch and his head whipped towards the disturbance. His eyes narrowed sternly, but softened when he saw their elated expressions.

“Captain Levi?” The boy chirped, bouncing on his heels. Levi could feel the excitement radiating off of him like a firecracker.

“Yes.” He responded curtly. He wouldn’t deny that he was quite awkward with children. He didn’t dislike them but he didn’t know how to act around them. The little boy looked as if he was trying to hold back a scream, like a little sponge soaking up all of Levi. The boy motioned rapidly for the girl to approach. Her face lit up immediately and she pranced over from her spot a little ways away.

“I never thought I would get to meet you in person! My sister and I want to join the Survey Corps and fight for humanity just like you and the commander!!” He declared proudly, falling into a salute. Levi could tell the boy had been practicing by the precision of his limbs. The girl nodded in affirmation, clenching her little hand into a determined fist.

“Hey-Heidi you forgot to salute!” The boy scolded his sister and clapped her on the shoulder. She squeaked and immediately mimicked the boy’s position.

“Good for you.” Levi congratulated their enthusiasm and waved their vigorous salutes off. His praise put sparkles into the young ones’ eyes. Levi felt a pang in his heart for their romanticism that would be no doubt shattered by the reality of what is out there.

“Just you wait, I’m going to tear my sword up through all of their gigantic, shit-eating asses!” The boy yelled triumphantly, eyebrows knitted into a fixed line and his sword hand aggressively jabbing at the air. The child’s profanity left Levi a bit speechless, but he found it amusing. He liked this kid.

“Big brother, shh! Mom said that potty mouths are what make the streets so dirty.” The girl attempted to hush her brother with her hands, their height difference dooming her to fail.

“Where did you get such a flavorful vocabulary?” Levi questioned the boy who looked more than happy to answer any inquiry laid upon him by his hero.

“It’s what my dad always calls them.” The boy answered and Levi nodded in approval.

“Mr. Levi.” The girl finally spoke up, her voice as delicate as her auburn curls. Levi directed his attention towards her and watched as her plush cheeks turned rosy.

“You’re humanity’s hero! And mine too so-” She began and the boy snickered.

“Heh, she wants to marry you, you know.” The boy interjected. His comment caused the girl to wilt like a crimson tulip and she lowered her gaze. The hand she still held behind her back shot further into hiding as she now seemed to be reluctant to share.

Levi exhaled and ran a frustrated hand through his silken hair. He didn’t really know what to think, no one has ever so innocently and genuinely told him that he was their hero and that they wanted to be like him. Let alone marry him. Hell, not even you had said anything like that. Sure, people praised him, admired him, lusted for him and his position. But something was different about this little girl’s confession. His heart softened.

He kneeled down, sucking up all the joint pain to seem unphased in front of the kids.

“What are your names?” He asked.

“Fynn!” The boy pronounced with a beaming grin.

“Heidi.” The girl said meekly. She smiled too; not as wide as Fynn but still glowed with the same happiness.

“Fynn, Heidi. It’s wonderful that you want to help humanity, but right now focus on being kids and don’t grow up too fast.” He put a hand on their heads, albeit a little stiff, but they didn’t seem to notice. In fact they were absolutely thrilled. Levi could almost feel the pure energy vibrating off of their giddy forms and into his palms.

“Don’t worry about having to stick a sword up their disgusting asses just yet.” Levi added with a small half smile that made Fynn gasp in excitement.

“And Heidi-” Levi started gently, looking into her eyes and making her blush even more.

“What’s behind your back?” He inquired, nodding to the hand she still held out of sight. Heidi tried to hold eye contact with her idol, but didn’t last more than five seconds before she sent her eyes downcast once more.

Without meeting his gaze, she uncovered her hidden hand to reveal a crown of dandelions. For as young as she was, it was beautifully crafted.

“I was going to give this to my mother but...now I want you to have it!” She explained with determination and held it with both her hands extended outward towards Levi.

He took it to humor her and released it from her little grasp. When she still didn’t look at him, he cocked his head to the side to meet her downcast gaze. When her shy eyes locked with his he warmly smiled.

“Are you sure?” He asked and she nodded firmly.

“Thank you.” Levi said, causing her to giggle.

“Well hello darlings. Out for a day on the town?” Your grandmother’s voice rang with a candied sweetness. She was now standing next to Levi, hands on her hips with a wide grin that wrinkled her cheeks.

The children nodded happily.

“Yes! We are waiting for our father to get out of work so we can walk home with him. That’s when we spotted Captain Levi!” Fynn explained. Your grandmother chuckled at their peppiness and looked over to smile at Levi.

“Oh? What is this Levi?” Your grandmother craned her neck to get a better view of the floral headpiece in Levi’s hands. Still in his kneeling position, he held it up to her for her to examine. When she delicately took it from him he gruffly returned to his feet.

“Oh how beautiful. Did you make this sweetie?” She asked Heidi in a lovely tone Levi had not heard uttered from her lips. Heidi only nodded once more, swaying bashfully.

“Levi, why don’t you put it on. This little one worked so hard making it.” Your grandmother chided, placing the ornamental crown on his head without warning. Levi shot her silver daggers and she tried to hold in her impending laughter.

“Are you Mr. Levi’s grandma?” Heidi asked with an inquisitive knit to her brow. Before Levi could clarify anything he was cut off by the older woman.

“Oh sure, this is my grandson. Such a brave kid, just like the both of you.” She cooed, making the children glow with happiness even more. She moved to ruffle Levi’s hair to which he swatted her advances away. The children found this amusing and continued to giggle.

“I’m going to need to be taking him home now. I bet your father is probably looking for you as well.” She announced and the children deflated a bit knowing their time with their hero was up.

“Aw, but we just got here!” Fynn whined with a violent pout. Your grandmother chuckled at his infatuation.

“How about a little treat for the road?” She offered, reaching into her dress pocket and pulling out a chocolate bar whose golden rapper rivaled the sun. Both children gaped at the dessert. She broke the bar in half and distributed it to them. They chimed a chorus of thank yous through their practically watering mouths.

“Run along now.” Levi bid them a farewell with a casual salute. The children said goodbye with one final elated salute of their own and skittered back across the street. Levi watched them for a moment making sure they made it safely back to their waiting place.

“Don’t you look pretty.” Your grandmother snickered and drew his gaze from them. He then remembered he had just been crowned king of the pansies and ripped it off his head gingerly enough to not break it.

The cart ride home was filled with a pleasant silence. However, the thoughts within Levi’s mind weren’t so kind. The decadent aroma of your grandmother's chocolate and the interaction with the children earlier, as harmless as it was, resonated too similarly to an ugly memory he wished he could forget.

↞♞♘↠

Many go numb when they experience a loss so immense that it feels like their world has been yanked from underneath their feet. Levi did not get that pleasure. He felt like he was experiencing every sensation on the planet. Whatever he touched scorched his fingertips in icy flames, every time he opened his eyes the light seared his pupils, and each time the blaze of rum burned his airway it did not do a thing to subdue the absolutely immense feeling.

~~~

Levi’s heart sank with his leg as his boot squelched against the freshly moist ground. The only part of this kid that was outwardly identifiable was the wide open eye that stood out against the bloodstained face like a bright emerald sea. And even that wasn’t much to go on, Many of the cadets had eyes that color. Levi sighed and lowered himself into an awkward squatting position, grunting as he tried to keep the fresh splint on his right leg straight. He moved a gentle hand over the eye to let it rest and not be exposed to any more horror. The lashes dipped delicately into the remnants of skin that had been peeled back much like the rind of a citrus fruit. Levi’s fingers hovered over the splinters of ripped flesh and pools of gooey blood, the odor that seeped from them triggering his gag reflex. Every scout’s jacket was personalized with a name in the inner lining for this exact reason. He lifted the jacket by the lapel and looked at the embroidered letters.

Emilia Schrieber.

He kept a straight face as he picked up his folder and began penning her name onto the list of the deceased. He straightened himself up with another noise of discomfort and hobbled over to the next body.

Emilia’s neighbor was as equally as unlucky. Titan canines had sliced right through his waist, snapping his body in two and leaving behind only a horridly torn torso. However gruesome the boy was now, he was easily identifiable at least, Levi reckoned.

Shit this kid was the newest member of Hange’s squad.

As he picked through the rows of their dead, he mentally envisioned having to write the mind numbingly cookie-cutter letters of deceased to their families and how a piece of paper would never be a fair trade for being able to hold their children again.

“ My condolences Mr. and Mrs. Schreiber your daughter Emilia-”

Even when death is an old friend, when it visits its knocks never get lighter. He felt like he had failed. He was no god, no guardian of the hunt. But as a squad leader he was responsible for those of lower rank, and by being a second late he had let those gargantuan molars grind one up. And he even got injured in the process, becoming useless on top of everything else. He had felt the flames of his temper being fanned as soon as his leg had been bound so he had opted to do this work in solitary while the rest of the scouts recovered on the main grounds of the outpost.

‘died bravely on the battlefield. She-’ Levi could visualize the horrified expressions of the girl’s parents as their features contorted into uncontrollable grief. As the rancid smell of death emanating from the words on the parchment brought them buckling to their knees.

He was nearing the end of the third row when he just barely registered your voice.

“How is your leg feeling?” You asked softly, fatigue and something else he couldn’t quite place dragging your voice down. You hadn’t seen him for a few hours after helping Hange splint up his injured leg.

‘was awarded an honorable medal of exemplary service for her dedication to-’ This sentence disgusted him. As if some esteemed piece of iron would fill the vacancy of their lost daughter.

He looked up at you briefly, only slightly acknowledging your presence before going back to his morbid recordkeeping.

“It doesn’t hurt when I don’t move.” He responded curtly, not even grimacing as he lifted a sticky limb off of the soldier’s chest.

You hummed in acknowledgement, standing awkwardly aside him with your hands clasped behind your back. He wanted to be left alone, and you had respected it. But naturally you wanted to come check on him and give him some company.

You followed him silently for a few bodies when he dropped his pen during a struggled attempt to squat again. You caught him by the arm, feeling the stiff weight of his muscle as he tried to steady himself. He brushed you off gently and you bent down to grab the pen for him. Just as your fingers had clasped against the plastic, a small silver object fell from your shirt pocket. You blinked a couple times before smiling. You picked up the piece of chocolate, its metallic foil crinkling in your hand.

“Levi, remember that kid we met in town last week?” You reminisced, the lightness of your memory a stark contrast to the scene set before you.

“Mhmm.” Levi acknowledged your question but did not push you any further. You worried at your lip but took his silence as an invitation to continue. You hoped maybe something cute could lighten his mood.

“I forgot that I still have the piece of chocolate in my pocket he gave me.” You chuckled. It was a miracle to you how the little candy still resided with you after all that had happened mere hours ago.

“I would like to have a kid like him someday. Wouldn’t you?” You smiled as you popped the sweetness into your mouth. There was a pause where only the shuffling of Levi’s papers and the rapid beating of your heart after you had realized what you absentmindedly said were heard. You and Levi had never really touched on the topic of children, given the circumstances, even though you were getting more serious in your relationship.

Something in Levi switched, as if someone was turning on the lights to his office without his permission. The stress, death, and feelings of inadequacy from his injury were all suddenly blasting him at full volume. He didn’t mean to direct at you, but you were the only other living being there.

“Why would I ever want children when all of these kids are being sent home to their parents in pieces? Everyone should just stop having kids at this point.” Levi snapped, turning towards you with an anger that you had never seen directed at you before.

His response left you speechless and it took you a moment to collect your thoughts.

“I meant after . It was just hypothetical, Levi.” You could feel yourself caving inwards at the sharpness of his words, but you remained composed. You didn’t have time to be sensitive now.

“How can we afford hypothetical fantasies when we can barely keep these children alive?” He growled, looking back at the bodies.

“We did the best we could…”

“Yeah well, look where that got us.” Levi mumbled, the frustration that radiated out of him was palpable.

You could see now that this conversation was spiraling uncontrollably. You reached out to touch his shoulder but faltered, and drew your hand back. Rather than adding more fire to the flames, you held back.

“Are you alright?” You asked choosing your words carefully, hiding how his comment stung with a furrow of your brow.

“I just-” Levi exhaled and knitted his eyes shut. He wanted to snap at you the least of anyone.

You could see something was really bothering him. You opened your mouth to say something when the shuffling of boots and clanks of a harness turned your attention behind you. Jean approached you two with a swift gate.

“The horses are all saddled and we are ready to go whenever you are.” He said in an even tone, making eye contact with you and smartly avoiding the intense eyes of the captain. You nodded once and he turned on his heel to head over where your squad was grouping up by the rustic stable.

“ Oh fuck no you aren’t going where I think you are, are you?” Levi said in disbelief, almost with a laugh. He roughly stood up and straightened out in front of you, his leg quivering in whiplash.

You narrowed your eyes, starting to get annoyed at his chastising tone.

“If you mean taking my squad to recover those letters then yes.”

“That’s reckless Y/N.”

Whether or not that statement was true, it felt like a dagger into your gut coming from him.

“Well, I am a squad leader and it is my squad. So I can be the judge of my own negligence.”

Levi’s silence was disconcerting, a challenge for dominance you were not going to submit to.

“Levi, it’s going to be dark for a few more hours and those correspondences hold information about the Reiss’ that are indispensable to us. My squad is the only one that has all members uninjured besides yours. And you can’t ride properly with your leg. We need to try otherwise this whole-” You started passionately, gesturing to the field of decay. “Excursion will have been for nothing.”

“Were we at the same bloodbath earlier?” Levi scoffed. “Those letters are speculated, we don’t have concrete evidence that they were even worth losing more lives than we already have.”

One look at your makeshift camp and an onlooker could see that it had been a massacre. Few were left standing unscathed in some way after a reconnaissance mission to intercept letters went sour. A hoard of titans had torn a large chunk in your numbers with a precision and calculation that acted almost as if someone had planned it.

“Exactly, we can’t know for sure. Any information we can get on the inner dealings of our government is one step closer to ridding our cities of this plague!”

“You don’t have the experience I do, Hange does, or the other scout leaders. Compared to us you are a child. Alone out there, you will be exposed.” Levi yelled with exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air.

“ How dare you. ” You fumed. The way he said child prickled your skin. It was true that you had just become a squad leader and yes this was your first time leading them on an excursion. But you damn well wouldn’t let him call you a c h i l d.

“I am your superior officer and I don’t authorize this departure.” He ordered harsly, glacial like a vacant cabin buried in mountain frost. The uncomfortable squeezing of bottled tears against your eyes was replaced by outrage at how unreasonable he was being.

“Oh so now I’m incapable of making decisions on my own?”

“Not if they are as idiotic as this!”

“Oh seriously, fuck you. I don’t need a permission slip from you, Captain.”

Levi wanted to punch something. He wanted to pound his fists into the earth until they reached bleached bone. Instead he settled for mutilating his pen, the poor utensil snapping in two in his riled up grip.

“This is what I mean! You’re being just like every other brat in this corps. Just fucking take it and follow orders.” Levi’s temper had reached its summit and exploded outwards. His was breathing heavily now as you stepped towards him so you were inches away from his face.

“Just because I’m a child doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself. I’m a scout leader now for a reason. Why don’t you get your middle aged balls out of your ass.” Your tone bit with a deathly venom.

“Only if you get your delusions out of yours.” He replied darkly. You held his gaze in a deadlock, neither of you backing down until Levi broke the silence.

“Y/N do you want to get yourself killed?” His voice held the same harshness but was laced with a bitter plea.

“If it comes to that I guess you won’t have to worry about having children.” You sneered with a crack in your voice.

Levi said nothing, keeping his eyes fixed on his broken pen littered in the grass.

As you left, you tossed him a spare pen, a parting gift that left him alone with his throbbing head and stiff limbs.

~~~

Erwin had instructed that everyone return to headquarters, having given your squad special clearance to return when the mission was completed. Levi’s frivolous anger had subsided into incessant anxiousness. That he kept to himself of course.

That night, the argument had replayed through his mind on a brutal and obsessive loop. The memory had an insatiable hunger and would eat every other thought that arose, persisting behind his eyes and enduring when they snapped open and viewed the ceiling.

Levi stood by his statement about children to an extent. But he didn’t mean to articulate it in the explosive way he did. Hours and hours of playing grim reaper had made him vulgar that night, which was no excuse to infantilize you, and Levi kept failing to come up with rational explanations for his icy behavior.

The only conclusion he circled back to was a desperate, broken man trying to keep his more than capable loved one from riding headfirst into carnage while he was unable to protect her.

And by the walls did he ever want to have kids with you.

If only parallel universes existed. Being a father terrified him almost as much as the bleak future of their pocket world. As he began to realize his feelings for you, though, a plethora of domestic scenarios that were so foreign to him had discretely danced through his brain. And now he might never get to talk to you about it again.

He didn’t close his eyes again that night.

The days felt blurry and Levi felt as if he was living in a haze. The tingling tendrils of grief were taking root and sending both his mind and body into a dull ache. His leg began to bounce frequently when he sat. His fingers grew weary at picking at their own skin. Guilt and self hatred became his constant companion, stealing his food and occupying his hours of rest. But meager seeds of hope still lingered under that skin and were not uet uprooted by his cultivating anxiety.

By night three, the only thing Levi obtained from the unsuccessful search party was taxed lungs assaulted by the frigid air. His voice cracked with overuse when Erwin called it a day, the internalized anger and frustration boiling over like water in a bubbling saucepan. Erwin was being level headed, of course, and he was right in calling off a grueling twelve hour search party by sunrise. But he did not attempt to fight Levi when he lingered at the site, Hange volunteering to stay with him. It was the first time she had ever seen him cry when the two of them found a tatter of your cloak snagged on a canopy branch. When his fingers started to go numb from his raw grip and the biting morning chill he wondered if you, too, were cold. Or if you could even feel autumn’s brisk kiss anymore. The sheer thought made him dizzy.

On the sixth day with no news or inclining to your squad’s whereabouts the darkness became increasingly tantalizing to Levi. As his eyes gazed dully at the intricate patterns of hardwood that made up his desk, he found himself contemplating joining you. If you were indeed already in the afterlife, that is.

Death’s sweet embrace had taken so many from him already, why not ferry him across as well? Why was the raven-feathered mistress torturing him so with vital puffs of air when she had continuously taken everything he cared about as he aged? These thoughts were most alluring when he left his head under the bubbles of his bath and felt the pressure caressing his lungs. Or when he sat alone at his desk with only the gurgling of his vile last words to you stabbing him between the ears over and over and over and over and over and-

And yet, the more he pondered this the more he realized he did have things he cared about still. He cared about eradicating the shitty government. He cared about making sure not another child had to witness their mother dismembered by the grinding of massive teeth. And you. He didn’t know if you were gone from this world yet, and even in death he wouldn’t be able to live with himself for abandoning you.

So,

He rose from bed and went about his duties as normal and ignored the stinging absence of you at the dining table. When someone tried to get his attention he would ignore the echo of your voice calling his name the last time it graced his ears, pained and burnt from his fiery temper. He led combat training. He talked to Eren. He ate dinner with Erwin, Hange, and Mike. He did paper work. He lived life as normal, yet everything was as tasteless as it had been before you and even worse than before Farlan and Isabel. Attachment breeds suffering, no matter how sweetly aphrodisiac it is. He found this at the forefront of his mind during your absence. But was that attachment worth the utter pain he felt? Your smile would keep telling him yes. He walked with an open wound in his chest, so gaping that he was surprised crows hadn’t come and began picking the flesh from his bleeding heart.

And when you returned that arid morning Levi felt a glimpse of what he believed the followers of the walls felt. A communion with his savior, an angel who had returned with hardly a halo atop her crown.

He barely registered how he arrived at the cobblestone precipice, for the moment Hange had uttered your name he had floated with the adrenalen of a thousand horses to the HQ entrance. When he laid his eyes on your rugged, but outwardly unhurt, form color flooded into his vision once more.

Six horses had returned, your steed at the front of the party. Jean was clutching to your waist, his eyelashes fluttering and fists balling at the fabric of your blouse as he struggled to remain conscious. Armin was also doubled up; in his care was a handicapped scout who no longer possessed the entirety of their right leg. Connie and Sasha looked the healthiest of the returning party.

Your horse was pawing at the ground as if he was aware of the urgency as Erwin helped Jean down first and into the arms of a resident nurse. Your expression was hardened with the repressive gaze of a squad leader, keeping your emotions and physical pains in check for the members under your control that relied on you.

It was this look that bombarded Levi with fierce waves of regret. Your body was harboring the soul of a poised leader. Only, you weren’t possessed at all.

It was you.

His foolish words meant shit.

Erwin then reached for you and you gratefully let his strong arms gently place you onto the earth. Your legs wobbled a bit from fatigue and you needed to steady yourself with a hand on the commander’s forearm.

You began collecting your bearings and allowed yourself to take in your surroundings. In an instant, your eyes locked with Levi’s and he felt himself begin to crumble. Tears began to stream down both of your cheeks like liquid stars.

He raced against the disintegration of his body like it was a ticking time bomb. It was like two comets colliding and bursting into galaxies of stardust when his body reached yours. The two of you melted together, the force of your cosmic union bringing you to your knees. He babbled incoherently through his hyperventilation and his arms grappled at any inch of your body he could hold. His body violently vibrated with all of the futures he wanted to have with you as he dry heaved over your shoulder.

Your tears pooled with his, now able to let the floodgates of the week’s trauma, anguish, and suffering free. You held each other as if an otherworldly thread had been tightly weaved around your embrace.

“I-” He hiccuped and buried his face further into your neck.

“I know.”

↞♞♘↠

The wheels screeched against the brake applied by your grandmother as the two of them arrived back at the estate.

“Levi.”

“What?” He hummed from the other side of the carriage. His head was barely visible to your grandmother, having just jumped off.

“Call me Oma.”

Levi’s eyes widened slightly in shock.

“Y/N calls me Oma, so please I’d like for you to as well.” She said, her tone uncharacteristically benign.

“Alright.”

Oma.

#levi #levi x reader #LEVI ACKERMAN #levi heichou #levi fanfiction #AoT #snk #snk x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #jean kirschstein #bisexual jean #levi/reader #hange zoe #fluff #levi fluff #aot fluff

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descendantofthesparrow · 4 years

Text

IDK I just went with whatever my mind told me to write - Harry Hook x reader - one-shot

Harry groaned as he shifted the gear in place. It was a muggy day on the isle of the lost, and Harry was, unfortunately, working on the ship doing repairs.

And it was hot as Hades ass.

Harry hated working on the rutter chain, it was always oily as fuck, and heavy as fuck, and it broke more times than he could count.

No wonder his dad just left it as a prize instead of selling it, it was a big ass pile of trash that needed a lot more than the isle could give it.

But it was Uma's treasured ship so he would take care of it when he was ordered to.

He sighed as he finally connected the final chain on the main gear, leaning back and wiping his forearm on his head. “fuuuck” he sighed, looking down at his hands and pants, that were covered in slick black oil. “this shit is never comin’ off”

“wow” Harry raised his brow and turned, smirking as he spotted you, staring wide-eyed at him. “um-“ you squeaked, turning dark as Harry chuckled at you and turned to face you.

“like what yeh see?” Harry purred, flexing a bit at you. You just stared at him, the oil dripping down his forearm to his bicep, and sweat glistening on his collarbone and soaking through his top, making it see-through and revealing his pecs and abbs.

“i-um-I” you stuttered, clutching the cold wet towel you had to your chest, feeling heat build-up in your face and reach your ears. “I-“

Harry's smug smirk softened into a fond smile, and he let out a soft snort, walking towards you and pressing a kiss to the top of your head “always nice ya know my bonnie lass finds me attractive”

“ha-have you seen yourself?” you pouted, pressing the cooling towel to his neck, which he jumped at before relaxing into it, a purr like sound erupting from him “it's hard NOT to find you attractive” you continued, reaching into your bag and pulling out a cold waterbottle.

“mmm thank yeh love” he muttered, cracking open a bright ocean blue eye and grabbing the bottle, fingers brushing against yours. “dunno what id do without yeh~”

“jump off a roof because Jonas dared you?” you snorted, looking over Harry's shoulder and nodding, seeing the rutter chain that connected to the ship's main wheel fixed “come on, lunch is ready.”

“yeh mean yeh aren’t meh lunch?” Harry purred, giggling as your face turned even darker.

You sputtered, smacking his hard torso “god you have no filter do you!?” “nope” he snickered, following you out of the mechanics and up to the main deck. “especially ‘round yeh~”

“harry stop flirting with (y/n) and get cho food!” Bonnie taunted, running off the deck and towards Ursuals chip shop.

Harry glared at her receding form, tossing his arm over your shoulder, and kissing your cheek “imma get changed real quick then ill be over there ‘right after’ kay?”

“kay” you laughed, pushing his face away and following after bonnie, waving to Harry as you ran out of his sight.

Harry sighed wistfully, a dreamy smile on his lips “how’d I score a bonnie lass like ‘er”

He went to his room and took a quick shower and changed into a plain black t-shirt that he bleached to make it unique a couple of months back, ripped black pants, and his usual boots. He shrugged on his jacket and sighed, slicking his still wet hair back and walking out of his room and off the ship, making his way to the chip shop.

He slid through the salon-style doors and made his way to the main table the crew sat at. He pushed gonzo aside and hopped onto the table, jumping off and landing next to you, who rolled your eyes.

“ya know there is such a thing as walking around the table?” you pointed out, scrunching your nose as harry leaned in close and stole one of your fires.

“but that’s borin’ love~” he teased, sitting on the stool next to you and tossing his arm around you, continuing to attempt to steal your food.

“Harry!” you whined, smacking his hands away “my food!”

“and Im hungry” he mocked your whine, giggling as you turned and started smacking his shoulders like a cat.

“Harry stop teasing her, here's your damn food” Uma tugged your hands away from Harry and tossed a tray in front of Harry, who gave Uma a little nod and started scarfing down his food.

You gave Harry a quick final slap and went back to your food, snickering as Harry stared at you with wide eyes, as if you had insulted his mother.

“you guys are adorable” Desiree and Bonnie giggled, cackling as Harry sat up straight suddenly and stared at them with wide eyes.

You snorted and rolled your eyes, grabbing Harry's shoulder and forcing him back down in his chair “Harry we’re kinda fuckin obvious”

Harry stopped, staring at you for a moment before, shrugging “aye we kinda are” he chuckled, stopping for a moment before a trouble-making smile grew on his face.

Harry quickly grabbed your hand and pressed his lips to your hand, peppering his lips on your knuckles and fingers. Your face turned dark and you ripped your hand away, squeaking at Harry with unintelligible words.

The crew burst out into laughter at your embarrassment and you pouted at them, deciding to bury your face in Harry's side to avoid them.

“awwww” Harry cooed, rubbing your back “im sorry love, I dinne’ mean ta embarrass yeh”

“yes you did” you muttered, looking up at him with glassy eyes. Harry's breath hitched, and he shook his head a bit.

“Yeh are jus’ too cute” he muttered, holding you closer into his side.

“wait you were trying to hide it?” Bonnie asked, her eyes wide before she burst into laughter “if you two were trying to hide your relationship then you failed big time!”

Harry rolled his eyes, finishing off his tray and glancing at yours, noticing you were also finished and placed his try on yours and pushing them into the middle of the table.

“while yeh all obsess over us, I’ll be taking the bonnie lass here ta go do meh chores with meh and be fabulous, good day” he picked you up by your thighs and carried you off, snickering as you let out a loud squeak.

You hurriedly wrapped your arms and legs around him, pressing your blushing face into the crook of Harry's neck. “you are sooo extra” you whined, voice muffled by his shirt and shoulder.

“but im your extra ass boyfriend,” Harry chuckled, thumb brushing against your thigh.

“can't deny that” you laughed, leaning back in his arms and forcing one of his hands to your butt and the other around your waist.

“lass oof” you giggled, leaning back even further, making him stop in place and wrap both of his hands around your waist, pulling you back into his chest “don’t test me”

You just grinned, leaning forward a bit and then letting your weight fall back completely, making Harry yelp as he struggled to hold you.

“(y/n) stop!” Harry growled, hiking you up on his hips and glaring at you.

“mmm” you hummed, a shit-eating grin growing on your face “nah~” you attempted to lean back again but Harry lifted you up and tossed you over his shoulder, rerouting to the ship.

“that’s it!” ignoring your protests of confusion, he kicked open his room door and tossed you on the bed, slamming the door behind him and smirking at your blushing face “time ta teach yeh not to test meh~”

“oh,” you squeaked.

Uma wasn’t happy with Harry when she learned he skipped out on his chores to do whatever he was doing with you.

And que the crew teasing you over your bruised hips.

-end-

permtaglist

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange

@lunanight2012 @daughter-of-the-stars11

@musicarose @random-thoughts-003

@verboetoperee @rintheemolion

@remembered-license

#Descendents #descendants #disney descendants #harry hook #harry hook descendants #harry hook x reader #harry hook imagine #fluff #little bit of steam at the end

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whatudottu · 3 years

Text

So I’m sure y’all (ben 10 fans specifically) know about the episode Inspector 13? And how Gwen couldn’t used her mana like she usually does?

Yeah, those are my thoughts today and I’m gonna talk about ‘em.

Let’s get this out of the way first, pure full Anodites will not have the same trouble that Gwen has, regardless of form. Basic reason here same as normal, they’re pure mana and Gwen is a fleshy human with a spark, so inherently there’s already a difference in the flow of mana.

But are other species capable of magic and mana manipulation?

Heck yeah!

Knowing what we’ve seen with Anodites already, sans Gwen of course, they’re the... uh... hmm let’s say playboys of the universe. Much in the same way that humans can’t keep it in their pants, Anodites don’t have pants in the first place and would definitely proliferate with life spanning galaxies. And just like with humans, there is a chance that any hybrid child of an Anodite can have the spark.

But does that mean that Gwen can use mana as each of the aliens she turns into?

Heck no!

At least not on first try.

Now let me explain. Humans have a filter on their flow of mana, one which Anodites don’t possess, but other species have that same filter. Why? Well, it’s their DNA of course, it’s what separates them from the pure energy beings of Anodites, the unfiltered raw flow of mana. This filter is there because while Anodites are filled with mana, a hybrid with a spark produces their own unique life energy that interacts and mingles with the flow of their mana.

But what does that mean for Gwen?

Given that the spark is not... uh... entirely genetic (there’s a need for an Anodite SOMEWHERE in the bloodline for the spark, but it doesn’t come up in DNA), it should exist through each transformation. But the issue here is that, while the spark stays the same, the filter wildly changes.

Gwen, as herself, is athletic and light on her feet, so her mana floats, twists and turns, and when solid, is akin to glass. But as Diamondhead, suddenly there’s more weight and less dexterity. There’s a difference that opens a new set of rules for Gwen that she’s never had to deal with, and just like at the start of her magic career, things don’t work exactly as they should.

I’m done with the whole analysis side of this thought, but the main reason why this is on my mind is because... well... I didn’t like how the show handled the differences in mana manipulation. It’s maybe a sneaky little episode rewrite, and maybe a little more interesting version of the ‘getting-used-to-another-person’s-powers’ trope... which I’m pretty sure is a thing. I don’t know I’ve seen it before a few times so whatever.

ANYWAY! Moving on to what I would’ve like to have happened, let’s go in order of Gwen’s transformations.

As stated (and is obvious), Petrosapiens aren’t very known for their light weight and dexterity, so one’s magic would reflect this. How this will affect their mana would turn the free flowing looseness of floating mana into physics based materialisation. But what makes this different to a Petrosapien’s natural crystalkinesis?

Let’s demonstrate with Diamondhead.

A falling Gwen would realise quick that her attempts at making platforms would fail, seeing them fall alongside her. However, producing these solid objects took nothing away from her physical levels of energy, meaning Diamondhead wasn’t growing fatigued unlike with typical crystalkinesis. Gwen would have the ability to form as much ‘crystals’ as she wants in order to keep her from crashing too heavily into the ground.

This use of mana is more so built upon traps, because they last a lot longer and barely need concentration to work. Used as a replacement for crystalkinesis, a Petrosapien ain’t gonna get very far, because these ‘traps’ work on everyone even if they can disperse the constructs. No, it’s better to stay away from the constructs because they amplify sonic waves (the mana vibrates as if like a tuning fork) and can create shatter explosions if struck the right way. For the latter, if y’all have seen the dude pressure plating a diamond, it’s like that.

Now, let’s talk about the second alien Gwen transforms into, Clockwork!

Chronosapiens are a little more robotic than Humans and Petrosapiens, especially Anodites, so their filter of mana is a lot larger. It is the fact that they are alive in the first place that let’s them use magic at all, but their mana capabilities are extremely limited. It’s like being trapped in a metal suit, where it’s hard to allow the internal spark to manipulate the external environment. But what if one doesn’t use external magic?

Clockwork can work like this.

Gwen may not manage to bypass the filter and create mana constructs, or even a flowing tendril, but she can find ways for her modified magic to work. Clockwork keeps the spark internally, so why not help that along with less offensive and defensive skills, and instead more utility casting. What does this mean? Flight, babes! But instead of the traditional sort of flight, Gwen finds that she can ‘walk on frozen time’ and ‘slip through the seems’.

Okay maybe that sounds a little too much like the Esoterica power set, but it’s not like seeing a fourth dimension and accessing the inaccessible. It may appear to be the same, but just like how people may perceive Clockwork to have super speed, even though he’s just slowed time for everyone else, it’s just a matter of perspective. But in general, learning to use mana outwardly would need more time than Gwen had.

Moving on to alien number 3, we have Humungousaur.

Now, in terms of filters, Vaxasaurians have a little more access to mana manipulation than Petrosapiens and especially Chronosapiens, but they have a whole lot of life energy due to their size, which has an effect on their spark. While the dexterity of their magic can be comparable to Human’s manipulation, the strength of it is quite limited, so while a Vaxasaurian may be dependent on their physical bodies for attack and defence, magic is just a bonus action.

So how would Humungousaur use magic instead?

Well, while Gwen would engage in a good old round of fisticuffs, she can use mana like a lasso/whip to trip opponents and yank them this way and that. And by ‘this way’ I mean directly into her punch, like you’re the ball of a paddle-board. It’s definitely more of an assistance type of magic, and it’s definitely not strong enough to support the weight of Humungousaur, but Gwen can control the battlefield by controlling the stability of the enemy.

Think hunting and gathering, this is where a Vaxasaurian’s magic thrives, where it helps with restraining and retrieval rather than attack and defence, they’ve already got THAT down. Prime Vaxasaurians, with their size increase, would lose the use of their mana when at max height, but Reboot Vaxasaurians can emphasise their tail shockwave with magic to make it even more deadly.

Up next is Upchuck, and boy is this an easy one.

Gourmands already have a natural relationship between themselves and energy, so someone with the spark can super enhance their energy bile. To the point where it’s almost unnecessary to actually eat anything to get at least some sort of fire power. Of course, with a Gourmand’s small squishy body, they are perfectly capable of throwing up defences (I swear that pun was an accident), but who needs defences when you’ve got a whole arsenal of explosive mana.

But there’s a little issue with Upchuck that Gwen has to get over.

The problem? Gwen’s a little self-conscious about a Gourmand’s abilities. Mana is the flow of life energy, so if the flow is restrained by embarrassment, it doesn’t act at its full potential. Upchuck can certainly try to use magic as a crutch to avoid needing to eat and spit her way in, but the free flowing stream cutting off is inhibiting the strength of her defence too.

SO! When Gwen finally caves and eats some metal, there’s enough power to blast a hole into the techadon factory big enough to get inside with time to spare. Aside from enhancing the blasting power of a Gourmand’s natural energy, the use of mana manipulation can change the ‘weaponry’ of the attack, which can turn into a gassy smokescreen (burp) and a sticky ball (loogie) to name a few. A Gourmand’s best strength is confidence, so Gwen would need to adapt her mana the same way.

And last but not least, we have Rath stepping up to the plate.

Now, Appoplexians are... rather straight forward and fight tooth and claw rather than strategically. They have a similar mana to life energy filter ratio to Humans, but that doesn’t mean that they’re just as magic friendly. Mana manipulation typically requires coherent thought other than the urge to beat someone up.

But Rath can use magic, and here’s how Gwen works it.

Cutting to the chase, there’s no range mana attacks, at all. For one thing, Rath would find it cowardly, another being that unlike ripping out a turret and throwing it at something else, there’s not enough brutal violence. And utility magic is not even considered. That needs some planning, and the only plan Rath has going into the fight is to WIN! And Gwen is not immune to the urge for violence.

So what happens instead, Gwen would accentuate a punch, slash or block with the extra kick of mana. Enemy fist approaching at 5 o’clock, t-minus 2 seconds? Mana armour. The techadon warrior is regenerating a little too fast for liking? Mana blade! Inspector 13 is being an annoying little techadon engineer with his constant downplay of their abilities? MANA PUNCH!

And after all that, Gwen gets to be in her own skin again. Some of the abilities she learnt that day don’t translate to her Human form. She can’t form crystal traps, she can’t slip between the seams of time, she can’t modify the properties of her mana. But some of the techniques she learnt can be adapted into her regular fighting. She can manipulate the battle field, she can construct armour on the fly.

But most importantly, she can see the differences of life energy, and how they effect magic use. Seeing a range of different mana manipulation, Gwen has unlocked a more open perspective on magic and can learn so much more, her expectations of Human magic pried open wide.

I think THAT would’ve been neat.

But instead we got same face syndrome not to rag on the episode haha.

#gwen tennyson #anodite #petrosapien #chronosapien #vaxasaurian #gourmand #appoplexian #ben 10 #Inspector 13 episode #headcanon #ramblings #a vague sorta #rewrite #but like not entirely #just a little bit of complaining but i just wanted to look at magic

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