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romancerepulsed · 4 months

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aspec terms for beginners!

since it's trending right now, i feel like it might be helpful to clear up some basic aspec (but particularly aromantic, as we are the center of attention currently) terms. if you have absolutely any questions, i would be happy to answer, either in the replies, dms, or my inbox!

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the split attraction model (SAM): a model of human behavior that posits that, for some people, romantic and sexual attraction are not the same.

[most often this will come in the form of someone being aspec on one axis and allo (not aspec) on another. for example, a biromantic asexual may be romantically attracted to two or more genders, but sexually attracted to none. some people may even use SAM for allo identities– a bisexual lesbian may be sexually attracted to multiple genders, but only romantically attracted to women (note that this is not the only way that someone can be an mspec lesbian, just one way!). the SAM does not apply to everybody, not even all aspecs! there are non-SAM aros, for instance, who do not differentiate their aromanticism from their sexuality.]

aspec: a collection of queer spectrums centered around the lack of a certain attraction or identity. the most common spectrums under the aspec umbrella are asexual, aromantic, agender, and aplatonic, though there are many other ways to be aspec.

asexual: experiencing little to no sexual attraction.

[aces can still have sex– whether its because they experience some amount of sexual attraction or they just want to participate in sex because they find the act appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aces who have not and will never have sex. it is a spectrum.]

aromantic: experiencing little to no romantic attraction.

[aros can still have romantic partners– whether its because they experience some amount of romantic attraction or they just find relationships appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aros who have not and will never be in a romantic relationship. it is a spectrum.]

agender: having no gender or little relation to any gender.

aplatonic: experiencing little to no platonic attraction.

[similarly to aros and aces, apls can still form friendships if they so desire– whether its because they experience some amount of platonic attraction or they find friendships appealing in some other way.]

aroallo: combination of aromantic and allosexual– allosexual being someone who fully experiences sexual attraction. an aroallo, then, is someone who is aromantic but not asexual. aroallos often do not have a standard relationship with sex due to its romantic connotations and the stigma against loveless sex. someone having sex with someone else they do not love does not inherently make them aroallo, much in the same way that having a nonsexual relationship with a partner doesn't inherently make either participant asexual.

aroace: someone who is both aromantic and asexual. because aro and ace are both spectrums, an aroace may still experience some amount of attraction on either or both of those spectrums, or they may experience attraction of some other kind (platonic, tertiary, etc.), and that attraction may be only for a certain gender or genders– these are known as oriented aroaces.

queerplatonic relationship: a type of relationship that is defined only by the people within it. i have a post dedicated to explaining this in larger detail.

partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has and/or desires to have a partnership or multiple partnerships– romantic, queerplatonic, or otherwise.

non-partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has no desire to form a partnership of any kind.

romance/sex/plato favorable: an aspec who desires or would not reject a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship. they are also generally not particularly bothered by seeing these relationships in their day-to-day.

romance/sex/plato repulsed: an aspec who does not desire a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship and generally does not like seeing those relationships in their day-to-day. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily judgemental towards people who desire or participate in those relationships, they just do not desire them for themselves. repulsion often takes the form of discomfort or annoyance. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily cruel sticks-in-the-mud– they are perfectly capable of being respectful, and they very often are. repulsion does not always stem from trauma, though it certainly can.

romance/sex/plato positive: not to be confused with favorability, [x] positivity is the belief that romance, sex, and platonic relationships are human rights that should be supported and uplifted. someone can be [x] repulsed and [x] positive at the same time, because favorability/repulsion revolves around the self, and positivity/negativity extends to others.

sex/romance/plato negative: not to be confused with repulsion, [x] negativity is an inherently judgemental and harmful ideology. most commonly in the form of sex negativity, these ideologies are centered around the opposition to or personal judgement of people who engage in romance, sex, or platonic relationships. sex negativity in particular is embedded in western white supremacist societies and it is important for aspecs not to play into that.

those are the basics, but i have more information below the cut!

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> how are aspecs queer?

aspecs are queer because "queer" does not only mean LGBT. queer theory is about far more than just LGBT people– though they are undeniably a large part of it– queerness is any subversion of the traditional cisheteronormative standard. this includes things that cishets may take part in/identify with, because you do not have to be LGBT to subvert those standards. cishets who are gender-nonconforming are queer, for example. a good rule of thumb is that if you have to explain what you whole deal is to cishets, you're queer. queer does mean strange, after all.

traditional cisheteronormative conceptions of attraction, gender, and relationships do not account for aspecs. it is expected that everyone will one day form a traditional partnership with one other person, and that relationship will include sex (even if only for procreation, under some dogmas). virginity past a certain age is seen as a point of shame and something indicative of a larger problem in someone– in men, a red flag even. people past 30 without a relationship are pitied. our economic structure is build for couples and families– it's near impossible for someone to live comfortably alone. romance, friendship, and love are placed on a pedestal, treated as the meaning of life, the best thing anyone could ever experience. "love is the point of everything," as many posts on this site like to claim. people who reject these ideas are undeniably queer.

> i can get behind aros and aces, but the whole "aplatonic" thing feels like a stretch to me. how is not having friends queer? "platonic attraction" isn't even real.

aplatonicism is more than just "not having friends," and many apls have friends anyway, much in the same way that aros can date and aces can have sex. someone who does not have friends is not inherently aplatonic, they only are if they identify that little-to-no platonic attraction in themselves and choose to label themselves that way (just like how virgins aren't inherently asexual). still, apls who don't have friends exist, and they are all queer. what is a greater subversion of traditional cisheteronormative relationship structures than an outright rejection of what's seen as the most basic, fundamental relationship our culture has to offer?

you may not feel that platonic attraction is a distinct phenomenon in your own experience, and that's fine! ultimately, a lot of aspec terms exist for the utility and comfort of aspecs themselves. the SAM isn't for everyone, and platonic attraction isn't for everyone either. you do not have the authority to tell people what their own experiences are, nor should you care.

> i think it's sad that you're limiting yourself with these labels. you'll find someone one day!

for the broad majority of aspecs, our identities are not self-disciplinary, nor are they necessarily permanent. all queer people are capable of misunderstanding their identity or having a fluid identity– it is not a problem unique to being aspec. that being said, a lot of us may always be aspec and completely happy with it. being aspec is not a tragedy. the only thing i don't like about being aromantic is the judgement i receive from other people about it. non-partnering aspecs are not "missing out" on anything, because we don't even want the things we're rejecting in the first place. many of us are romance/sex/plato repulsed and are far more happy engaging with the world and with other people in different ways, because there is so, so much more to life than relationships, and it's wrong to presume that relationships are universally fit for everybody. telling an aspec that they'll find "the right person" one day is no different from telling a lesbian she'll find "the right man" one day. there is no "right person" for an aspec just as there's no "right man" for a lesbian. a lesbian is not "missing out" on a heterosexual relationship just because it's culturally perceived as superior and more fulfilling.

[disclaimer before anyone tries to do a "gotcha," i'm talking about a lesbian who is fully not attracted to men in any way. it's not like homophobes know the intricacies of gender identity and nonconformity as it pertains to homosexuality anyways.]

lastly, i wanna give a special shout out to the loveless aros and the relationship anarchists.

loveless aros are those who either feel little-to-no love as they understand it, or they are someone who supports the de-centering of love. they're worthy of a whole post of their own, but in summary: the loveless experience is all about finding joy in yourself and the countless things our world has to offer that are not dependent on the vague idea of love.

relationship anarchy is another concept worthy of its own post, but in essence it's an ideology aimed at abolishing the standard hierarchy of relationships (in the USA, depending on who you ask, its typically friendship < family < romantic partnership or friendship < romantic partnership < family) and allowing everyone the autonomy to define their relationships for themselves.

if i made any mistakes, let me know! and of course i'm willing to answer any questions anyone may have. :-3 thanks for reading my long ass post!

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scretladyspider · 1 year

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Let’s talk about what demisexuality is not.

First off: what is demisexuality? We have to establish what it is to talk about what it isn’t.

‘demisexuality’ describes not experiencing sexual attraction until a close bond is formed. This doesn’t mean demis are attracted to everyone we bond with, and we can have differing desires towards sex. Demisexuals may or may not be demiromantic — they’re not one and the same.

While demisexuals can also be demiromantic, this isn’t true as a rule. Just like being asexual doesn’t necessarily mean you’re aromantic. It’s possible to be both, nothing wrong with that — but they’re not inherently synonymous.

*For some people who are aroace, include demi aroaces, their sexual and romantic orientations are deeply intertwined and there isn’t a big difference between the two. Other people use the split attraction model, which recognizes a difference in sexual and romantic orientations.

Many people think that “everyone is demisexual” because they read the definition and say “oh, that’s just being normal”. They’re confusing not experiencing sexual at ALL with waiting until a relationship is serious to have sex.

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation. The thing people confuse it with is a decision regarding sexual behavior that can be made regardless of orientation— the decision to wait to have sex until you’re emotionally close. That decision can be made by anyone, demisexual or not.

Often people read the definition and say “I’m demisexual, I wait to have sex until it’s not just sex. I want emotional fulfillment too.” When it’s explained that demisexuals rarely have sexual attraction and only under certain conditions does it occur, one of two things happens:

they misunderstand and assume that demisexuals are also experiencing sexual attraction without the bond and just not acting on it, or

they begin to understand that there’s a difference between sexual attraction and action.

More often than not it’s the former.

It’s interesting that this misunderstanding happens when demisexuality is described because allosexuals (people who aren’t ace) abstain from sex all the time but still feel sexual attraction. There’s this underlying assumption that everyone experiences sexual attraction.

But… just imagine that feeling of not being attracted and expand it. It’s doubtful that you experience sexual attraction to every person you see is physically attractive. Just expand that and there you go. Or imagine it like not seeing a particular color until you suddenly can.

Demisexuals aren’t all cisgender and heteroromantic. But there’s nothing wrong with demis who are! If ace isn’t enough for you to respect someone is LGBTQIA+, you don’t understand or accept asexuality or the orientations under its spectrum.

Demisexuality is NOT “just being a woman”. Demisexuality also isn’t “the patriarchy convinced young girls not having casual sex was a sexuality”.

There’s so much wrong with both of these, and they tie together, so I put them together here. Not only does this thinking see cis women and feminine people as being inherently “more” asexual, it robs allos and aces alike of bodily autonomy towards sex and sexuality. It bleeds out from conservative Christianity — it’s the same ideas that lead us to abstinence only sex “education” and that women must be sexually available at all times or their husband will cheat to “get his needs met”. Saying that cis women & feminine people are just all demisexual or ace removes the bodily autonomy of those who want sex and those who don’t by assigning a culturally acceptable narrative as more important than lived experience. But sexuality isn’t limited by cisheterosexism.

The truth is there are still a lot of people learning they’re under the asexual umbrella as educators and advocacy groups get education out there, and even in queer spaces asexuality isn’t always accepted, let alone its spectrum. A lot of people don’t even know it’s an option!

In addition, and partially because of, tropes like this, asexuality and everything under it are considered more “feminine”. Sex is seen as a symbol of status and depending on your gender and presentation, that status gets lowered or raised depending on the number of partners had.

Cis men and masculine aces exist, and also have to contend with cultural pressures to “perform” sexually, whether they want to or not. Erasing these experiences doesn’t help further acceptance towards asexuality or just sexuality in general.

And! Cis women and feminine people can have and enjoy casual sex! Others don’t but still experience sexual attraction regularly. Being allosexual isn’t limited to the masculine. Libido can also exist without sexual attraction. Human sexuality is just not as narrow as you think.

That’s where I’ll leave this one. Remember, it’s okay to be demisexual. It’s not okay to dunk on a group of people you didn’t bother to try to understand. Keep an open mind. There’s room at the table for learning, not bigotry.

#lgbtqia #queer #demisexual #Demisexuality #asexuality #ace #demi ace #text #sexuality #purity culture #heterosexism #asexual #acespec #asexual spectrum

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donovan-writes · 3 months

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Regarding the Alastair post! Absolutely not trying to be a bitch!!! But I get the frustration with people writing smut about a aroace character but at the same time it’s just a character that’s fictional??? I understand that representation of aroace people is important but a fictional character who is also a serial killer shouldn’t be the representation you want.

It’s sad that our only rep is a serial killer but at the same time that’s our ONLY rep. And sure he’s fictional. Im not saying DONT write smut. Im saying quit making excuses and twisting shit around. Im tired of seeing creators go “I think he’s asexual but he just SOMETIMES feels attraction.” Cause that means they don’t understand wtf it is

Asexuality is a spectrum much like everything in the LGBTQ+ community. Other people have a thing called a “Type”. This is their dream person to sleep with or a trait that really gets someone aroused. Asexuals don’t have this type. They can still have sex and some even enjoy it, but there’s the absence of SEXUAL ATTRACTION. Being ace doesn’t mean you just can’t have sex, it means you don’t feel the feelings the same as everyone else. Some asexuals even enjoy kinks because there’s not a person aspect of it, it’s just pleasure/stimulation. Some asexuals talk about sex ALLLLLL the time but don’t actually feel the attraction. It just depends on who you talk to! But the main baseline is there is no trait or type that gets us turned on. People do not turn us on.

Y’all can write Alastor having sex without bullshitting around the topic of him being asexual. Now clearly his character was written to not want sexual relations/being sex repulsed. That’s still under the umbrella of asexuality. I just don’t want people to erase his label/change the meaning of his sexuality and romantic orientation.

Sure it’s just fiction but at the end of the day it’s still kinda rude to rewrite characters like that. Straight people get mad when we make everything gay, we get mad when they make everything straight. It’s a constant battle but I think we have a right to speak up about being upset with it

#asexuality #asexual #aromantic #aroace #acearo #lgbtqia #lgbtq+#alastor #alastor x female reader #alastor x yn #alastor fanfiction #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor x male reader #y/n

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thearoaceshark · 3 months

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"But aro/ace people still can date" THAT IS NOT A VALID EXCUSE, MUCH LESS IF THE CHARACTER SHOWS REPULSION TOWARDS THAT TYPE OF RELATIONSHIPS.

"But the creator said we could ship him with whoever we wanted, it won't be canon anyway" OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T BOTHER THAT YOU SHIP HIM BECAUSE 1: IT BENEFITS HER BECAUSE IT ATTRACTS SHIPS FANS. AND 2: SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE COMMUNITY.

"We have not deleted the representation, it is still there, it is canon in the show. We just want to have fun, the things the fandom does do not have to be faithful to the canon and do not affect the canon" SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN. IN THE FANDOM THERE ARE PEOPLE FROM THE AROACE SPECTRUM AND IT ANNOYS US THAT WE CAN'T ENJOY A CHARACTER THAT REPRESENTS US JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN ENJOY THE CHARACTERS WITHOUT SHIPING THEM. ALSO IF YOU CAN'T WRITE CHARACTERS OR RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE NOT ROMANTIC/SEXUAL OR THAT ARE NOT FAITHFUL TO THE CANON THEN LET ME TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE A VERY CLOSED MIND AND YOU'RE LACK OF IMAGINATION. THERE ARE ALSO MANY CHARACTERS THAT ARE NOT AROACE THAT YOU CAN SHIP, WHY DO YOU CHOOSE THE ONE WHO IS AROACE?!! US AROACE PEOPLA ALSO WANT TO HAVE FUN, WE ARE ALSO IN THE FANDOM, AND WE ENTERED THE FANDOM EXPECTING TO SEE THAT THEY RESPECT THE ORIENTATION OF THE CHARACTER AND REFLECT OUR OWN EXPERIENCES IN HIM, BUT WE FIND OUT THAT THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT, AND WE FEEL BAD WHEN SEEING THAT YK. IT'S THE SAME SHIT AS MAKING A GAY CHARACTER STRIGHT.

"I'm dating someone who is ace/I'm on the aroace spectrum/I'm ace/my partner is on the aroace spectrum and in my opinion there's nothing wrong with shipping him" ...REALLY? JUST. REALLY?! LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME YOU'RE NOT A TROLL, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY. FOR THE ARO/ACE PEOPLE WHO ARE MAKING THESE COMMENTS LET ME TELL YOU THAT YOU LOOK LIKE THOSE HOMOPHOBIC GAY WHO INSULT THEIR OWN COMMUNITY FOR THE APPROVAL OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE.

"If they want representation so much, why don't they make their own content and their own shows with Aroace characters?" ...YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS EITHER. YOU ARE A TROLL, RIGHT? AND IF YOU'RE SERIOUS... DO YOU THINK IT'S THAT EASY TO MAKE CONTENT (BOOK/COMIC/TV SHOW/MOVIE/ETC)???

Edit:

OH AND I FORGOT THE WORST ONE, SORRY.

"Aro/ace people can also want and be in a romantic/sexual relationship, you are erasing people from your own community just because you don't want us to ship it" ...FIRST OF ALL DO YOU THINK AROACE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THOSE RELATIONSHIPS FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU USING THEM AS A CHEAP EXCUSE? YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE, YOU JUST CARE ABOUT YOUR DAMN SHIP, STOP USING THEM AS AN EXCUSE. AND SECOND, I THINK YOU HAVE A VERY ALTERED PERCEPTION OF REALITY, BECAUSE THE ONE WHO IS ERASING AND DISRESPECTING THE AROACE COMMUNITY IS NOT US, IT IS YOU DAMN IT.

End of the edit.

PEOPLE ON THE SPECTRUM GET VERY EXCITED WHEN WE SEE A CHARACTER THAT REPRESENTS US, AND I THINK WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET ANGRY IF WHEN WE ENTER THE FANDOM WE FIND THAT PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE ORIENTATION OF THE CHARACTER AND SHIP HIM, AND TO GET WORSE THEY GIVE US SO BAD EXCUSES OF WHY WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS PERFECTLY FINE. LOOK, DON'T YOU THINK THAT IF AN ENTIRE COMMUNITY IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THOSE SHIPS THEN THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG? NO? HAVE YOU NOT THOUGHT ABOUT IT? THEN YOU NEED TO CHECK YOUR HEAD TO SEE IF YOU REALLY HAVE A BRAIN!!! IT'S SEEMS YOU HAVE IT OFF BECAUSE IT IS NOT WORKING.

AND YES I'M TALKING ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL AND ALASTOR BUT THIS ALSO HAPPENS WITH MANY OTHER AROACE CHARACTERS (UNFORTUNATELY). AND IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT REPRESENTATION HAS TO BE JUST THE CANON OF THE SHOW? DON'T YOU THINK THAT AS A FANDOM YOU SHOULD MAKE THE PEOPLE OF THE COMMUNITY WHO ARE IN THE FANDOM FEEL COMFORTABLE BY RESPECTING THEIR ORIENTATION AND MAKING FANFIC AND FANARTS ETC THAT REPRESENT THE CHARACTER AND HIS IDENTITY?

(AND THOSE OTHER CHARACTERS I MENTIONED ARE NOT CANONICALLY AROACE, BUT THEY ARE EVIDENTLY CHARACTERIZED AS SUCH, BUT THE FANDOM MAKES THE EXCUSE THAT "THEIR ORIENTATION IS STILL NOT CANON" TO SHIP THEM EVEN THOUGH IT IS EVIDENT THAT THEY ARE AROACE AND THEY REPUDIATE SEX AND LOVE. AND NOW THAT WE HAVE A CHARACTER CHARACTERIZED AS AROACE WHO IS CANONICALLY AROACE AND SHOWS REPUDION TOWARDS SEX, THEY CONTINUE LOOKING FOR EXCUSES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL?! IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO RESPECT THE AROACE COMMUNITY??? )

#alastor the radio demon #hazbin alastor #aroace alastor #hazbin hotel #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace spectrum #let aroace characters be aroace

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reinekes-fox · 1 year

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Interactive WIPs w Demo

Grey Swan I - Birds of a Rose

The Divine Flock. Some call them crazy, some even dangerous. Some even say the cult is hiding dark secrets. But, in all your life you have yet to find one. After all you should know should there be any dark secrets: you are a member after all! A member, not only of the Divine Flock, but also of the Avis Academy, the best school the cult has. Your life is quiet and follows a strict routine, at least until two Strays from the outside, the normal, world are allowed in the normally so closed off grounds and as a newly appointed Wing it is your job to keep an eye on one of them. With their arrival some of those dark secrets may finally come to light…

You ARE not playing as a BIRD!!!

DEMO https://dashingdon.com/go/13119

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Dark Academia.

Moniker for MC: Wing MC.

Genderselectable MC: cis male or female, trans male or female. However due to growing up in a cult, MC wont know that trans is a thing/what it means, this is something MC can learn about. The same goes for sexual orientation: play as gay, bi, straight, aroace or ace, but be prepared for consequences.

Pick your level of devotion: be a devout follower of the teachings of the Divine Flock, reject it partly or wholly, or simply not care. All of it will have consequences.

Choose one of various school clubs, your volery, and get an unique storyline. Ranging from dance to school security, to managing your social media page.

Important people: Your flock, a group of younger pupils you were responsible for before the Strays arrived. You may not be their Wing on paper anymore, but you still hold a special place in their heart! They do miss you and are looking forward giving you a present on your birthday!

Your volery: whichever volery you joined, you are going to met pupils that are just as enthusiastic about your chosen interest as you are! Some more than others.

Your parents. It’s another question if the relationship between you is good, but important it surely is!

ROs: Fuchsia King

Chase Watson

Wing Droznik Juschka

Wing Astoria Rapace

-only for Peacocks: Marter

-only for Swans: Elrond/Estelle Falkenflug

-Vampire route: Sebastian Voss

-AMAB Raven RO: Marcel Rabenschlag

Grey Swan II - Hawks and Doves

Unless otherwise stated you are playing as a normal human! Two legs, two arms, internal organs, hopefully a brain too. We will see how much of this organ stays intact after state propaganda, will we?

Someone once said that you were the most happiest youth in the world after the Great Heartbeat, that had shattered the old world. Earlier you would have agreed in a heartbeat, wearing the light green uniform of your state youth organisation. But now? When war has come to Avistrions shores and news reels show only destruction ?

Choose your gender, way of thinking and stance while growing up in a religious dictatorship on the giant island Avistrion. Be a devout follower of the Divine Flock, the only thing that survived the earthquake that devastated the earth. Or be the Vulture, trying to rip it to shreds, while wearing the badge of youth leadership… where will you be when war strikes your so closed off country? Which side will you be on when it ends? Will you even survive long enough to see the outcome?

Moniker for MC: Fugol MC.

ROs

Agon Falkenflug Adler/Weihe Habichtklau

Johanna/Nikola Arra

Grey Swan III - Wisteria Birds

Wisteria Birds (fantasy, drama, angst)! Currently on pause.

You are beautiful, trained in art and music. You are deadly, trained in the unique weapons that no one except you can use. You are dying. Kept alive by the very same thing that keeps you save from others abusing their power over you… You have no rights. But you can do whatever you want, even kill, without having to fear any consequences. You are the most pleasant death that anyone can wish for. You are an artwork. And all you are supposed to be is look pretty, show of your owners wealth. But oh, you could become so much more…

You play as a highly specialised trained entertainer… an Artwork, expensive companion to the rich and noble ones in Aklant, a country with rigid rules and unspoken laws, strict class divide and obsessed with anything that shows how rich they are… or at least let them appear rich. Artworks themselves are outside of this all, freed from all those social chains, but not seen as human… maybe its time to change that? Or leave the status quo as it is, up to you!

Moniker for MC: Artwork MC.

ROs:

Fauconniers, your potential buyers:

Chevalier Armand Sanson Alexandre Desrosier Others, you may work together with one or more of them? “Mouette” Sanglant du Verdier

You have been a Hound, the human companion of a vampire, for years.

Until you find yourself among the undead and masterless after a night where everything went wrong… leaving you with no other choice but to move back in with your parents.

ROs (will expand)

Theo Grimm

Agent Rosa Caleb

Marian Viorel

Ghibli inspired! Mainly Howls moving castle.

You play someone from our world who ends up in another world! Since this is an aspect I greatly enjoyed in the book and was really sad they didnt include in the movie, there will be chances of jumping between the worlds (and of course becoming a magician too!).

ROs, some are locked into specific magic combinations:

Opera Job and changing into Animals: Santu Cajarin

Changing into Animals: Rosalind Eagledancer

#interactive fiction #birds of a rose #wisteria birds #if #cyoa #urban fantasy #dark academia #vögel der rose #low fantasy #hundsnächte #dog nights #citadel of dancing birds

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kalfui · 3 months

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Saw your posts and your anon posts on Aroace Alastor and wanna chime in lol. I 100% agree with everything in those posts. And to me the best way to describe how the fandom overall has been treating him is, well.

Shipping is the adult version of taking two dolls and making them kiss, right? The show creates these characters and gives them out to the audience to play with. The lesbians get a doll, the gays get a doll, the pansexuals and the bisexuals all get dolls specifics tailored for them. And the straights are allowed to play with the dolls but ONLY IF they treat the dolls like how they’re shown in the show.

And then finally, the Aroaces get a doll, one made just for them.

Except. We’re told. That it’s not for us. That in fact, we have to share that doll with everyone else because they want to play with it too. And it’s fine, sharing is caring, right? But now they don’t want to give it back. Now they’re making that doll that was made just for us do something that it’d never do in the show. That goes against everything the show depicted that doll as. That takes away the quality about that doll that made it be just for us. They do it, and then flaunt it in our faces. And when we ask for the doll back, when we try to tell them that that’s not how it is, how it’d act, in the show or otherwise. That’s not how your supposed to play with it. They tell us that it doesn’t matter, that it’s all just pretend anyways and why are we getting so butthurt over a stupid toy?

Well, maybe we don’t like it because you have ALL THOSE OTHER toys you can play with! One for every color on the rainbow and then some. But you’re insisting you want to play with our doll, and that what made the doll special for us is wrong and broken and needs to be changed or fixed. And then insisting that this space, this doll, doesn’t fit us anymore, and that WE should be the ones to leave when we try to protest.

I have seen so many untagged sexual posts and fanart for Alastor while going through just the normal Alastor tag. And this is AFTER I filtered the tags of explicit content. Everyone and their father ships him with someone, and never with his sexuality in mind. Three posts down and and I’m reading something on how he’s married to Lucifer and they’re both fucking Vox. (Not to mention the plethora of x reader posts which is a double no because, a) that’s not me, and b) that’s not him!)

And maybe all this wouldn’t feel like such Aroace erasure if the entire freaking fandom wasn’t in on it. People will bend over backwards to make it “ok” for them to ship Alastor, but the moment they try it with some other non Aroace character they get crucified by the rest of the fandom. So what’s so fucking different when it’s an Aroace character who’s getting this treatment instead?

It’s just so exhausting filtering through the tags for content of the actual character, and not some bastardized OC who only shares his name. And then all the posts defending themselves with “but aroace people can still date and have sex, it’s a sPecTrUm!” Which is honestly the absolute worst rhetoric that has come out of this discourse. Yes there’s a spectrum! But they only care about it because it lets them justify their behavior.

Really wish they’d just, respect Alastor’s canon orientation and who he really is, and not dismiss the one trait that so many of us relate to and connect with him on.

(Don’t have to post this/respond. Just needed to get this out of my system. It’s been boiling over ever since the Alastor x Lucifer ship took over the fandom, and it’s been getting hard for me to enjoy that particular dynamic when every other post has them making out. I also kinda wish that if people are going to ship him that they didn’t, y’know, make him completely allonormative and actually explored what being in a relationship with an aspec would look like? Because how we view and how we respond to “normal sex/romance things” are inherently different from everyone else.)

It's such a normalized thing to ship Alastor. Whenever you search up Alastor on anywhere you'll see so many ship posts, and thats so.. absurd to me. People take away his character, and then cry when someone mentions it. What's the point when he's not anything like how he used to be? He's just a shell of his actual self, watered down to dad jokes, jazz music, and technology hating grandpa. No.. There's a reason why I like a character, because they're their own person. I like everything about a character, every part of a character is what makes that character up. Take it all away, it's boring, it's not fun, I don't want my doll like this.

Every time I hear someone say that aroace people can still date while talking about Alastor, I want to bang my head on a wall. Why are you trying to justify shipping him when, yes, aroace people can still date and have sex but does he look like he wants to have sex or date??? And even then, these people do not know anything about aspec people, they go and find something and then flaunt it in our faces like it's treasure, you have no idea how aspec people are, how they experience stuff, how they date and have sex, one nonaroace person said it and now everyone's using it as some "I got you" moment.

I'm tired of people telling us to calm down or that it's just fiction whenever we say they're erasing aroace rep. They've got so many different amazing relationships they could delve into, yet they want to terrorize Alastor over here, is there even a character he wasn't shipped with at some point?

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alliepretends · 1 month

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Since I posted one of my Dimension 20 hot takes, and didn't literally explode. I think I'll post the other one that really matters to me.

The discourse around aroace Riz is really hard for me. And I find it really hard to be empathic toward people who think about it differently than I do. And I think it's important to put that lack of empathy in context. Fandom (and by this I mean the broader fandom culture, not D20 fandom specifically) has generally been an extremely hostile space for aromantic people. Shipping is the central pillar of fandom engagement and dialogue. And a romantic lens is typically the very first lens applied to the source material when it is brought into fandom spaces. By that I don't just mean it's what people think about first, I mean analysis tends to pass first through the lens of romance, and then only things the romantic lens can't lay claim to are left for other kinds of analysis. Even for aromantic people like me, who very much enjoy romance when it exists in the realm of fiction, it's hard not to feel like there's a message in that. "Characters, and the fiction they exist in, are only valuable when seen through the lens of romance. Regardless of the genre of the source material. That's because romance is unquestionably the most important and defining feature of life. Unless it's sex." This can get pretty extreme if you become a fan of something with an especially strong central ship (like a Supernatural), where it can feel like literally all analysis of any aspect of the work has to tie back to the ship. In my experience, the sub-culture of fandom, for all its trappings of queer acceptance, is far more arophobic and aro-hostile than any other culture or sub-culture I participate in. Not because fans are actively making anti-aro posts or hate aro people, but because romance is elevated as the primary element of human experience. The only one really worth talking about and exploring. The only one worth writing fics about or dedicating massive posts to. It is worth noting that the Dimension 20 fandom (and, based on my experience, actual play in general) seems to be less romance-focused than other fandoms. There's lots of gen fic. There's lots of discussion that doesn't focus on romance. But that doesn't mean the Dimension 20 fandom somehow exists separately from overall fandom culture. The baggage of that larger culture still informs this fandom.

And that's why the way Riz gets talked about feels like such a slap in the face. He is the first example I (and I expect many others) have encountered of a heavily-coded aromantic character popular with fandom. And yet, that hasn't freed him from the fandom scramble to read him through the lens of romance. I'll admit to being a bit of an extremist on this. I know that for many aromantic people having a single qpr that fills many of the needs of romance is really an important part of their experience. Many of my aromantic/aspec friends feel this way. But I don't even like qpr Fabriz. Because even though that is an authentic and important part of aromanticism to represent. With a character like Riz, whose fears are explicitly based around the lack of access he has to coupledom, qpr Riz still feels like an attempt by romance-oriented fandom to jam the first aromantic character the sub-culture gets its hands on into something that looks enough like traditional coupledom that no one has to change their romance-oriented outlook. The myth of the OTP can live on if you just change some of the verbiage. I know there are arospec people that would also feel excluded if fandom fell in line with my perspective and kept Riz as far away as possible from anything resembling romance. I don't actually know what the right solution to these problems is. We got thrown one bone and there's a bit of a desire to fight over it (Wikipedia's list of aromantic characters has 18 characters, and while that's not all of them, it's a decent percentage). But I did want to put this out in the world. Because I feel like there's a lot of context and baggage missing from this discourse. And all I really want is to have fandom still be able to treat an aromantic character as valuable even when they can't neatly pair him off

#Riz Gukgak #Dimension 20 #negativity #discourse #i will say #the other piece of this is that while I trust Murph and Brennan have the best of intentions #I don't actually trust them to really understand how much this matters to me and many people like me #not because of anything they've done wrong #just that when you have so little representation #it's hard to trust that people who don't share your identity will do it right

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aromantic-diaries · 3 months

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I noticed that after I came out to one of my lesbian friends as aroace I was almost put on a pedistal. We never used to hang out, I assumed because we had nothing in common, but since coming out she comes over to hang out all the time, invites me to play sports with her, gives me job opportunities that I might like and I was even added to a special group chat with just queer people. All this while we still have nothing in common. I haven’t changed as a person, I just put a name to my sexual orientation that isn’t heterosexual.

In all honesty I’m kind of offended that I wouldn’t have been able to be this close of friends with her if I was straight. I was always jealous of my two lesbian friends and my one very sexually active straight friend for always leaving me in the dust to go hand out with each other because abuse I wasn’t queer at the time and also didn’t have an interest in banging everything that moves.

But who knew all that had to be done to be bffs with her was to change my fundamental nature and make myself not straight.

Anyway, kind of upset and overthinking this situation. I felt left out of our tiny friendship for ages because I was the ‘token straight’ and was never invited to anything.

I can understand why queer people would be more comfortable hanging around other queer people but honestly I think sidelining "straight" friends is kind of a dick move. I get that there's a sense of safety and solidarity with people who are like you but at the same time we're all just people and sexuality shouldn't make a difference in how we judge eachother especially when you know the other person is worth keeping around. I think I get where your friends were coming from but I'm on your side here

#anon #mail time

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raavenb2619 · 7 months

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Does coming out lead to too much focus on labels?

(I don't really have a main thesis I'm trying to convince anyone of, I just had a thought and wondered what other people thought.)

When I had recently figured out I was ace/aro/nonbinary, I really cared about finding the right labels for me. And the aspec community in particular has so many unique perspectives and labels that you can apply to yourself. What kinds of attraction do you feel, how do you label your orientations and attractions, what model do you use to think about attraction, how do you think about relationships, how do you feel about sex/romance/relationships, etc. It was super eye opening to learn about lots of different terms, and different ways of thinking about things, and things I'd never even thought about or thought I even could think about, and I ended up applying lots of labels to myself.

But, it's been many years since then, and over time I've grown less interested in applying specific labels to myself. I'm still queer/ace/aro/trans/nonbinary/polyam, but I don't really use other labels. (And depending on the situation, I might end up omitting labels when vagaries work fine.) That's not to say that I don't have affinity with other labels, whether that's "I'm similar to what this label describes" or "this label provides an interesting perspective that I like", I just...don't use other labels to define my identity. If I'm comfortable enough talking about something that I could use a label for, I'll just describe my experiences directly, instead of saying "I'm [blank]".

And, I wonder if that shift from specificity to vagary has to do with coming out. For a young aroace like me, part of why coming out was so nerve-racking was that I felt like I had to prove that my identity was real, and having specific labels I could point to and say "look, this is real, I'm not making this up, other people are like this too" was super helpful. But, it's been many years since I've come out, and I'm more confident and know who I am, and that insecurity that I fought back with fistfuls of labels and well-rehearsed explanations is gone. (With the potential exception of QPR-related discussions, which feel kind of like coming out again; I might make a post about that some time if people are interested.)

Every time I've ever come out, or seen someone come out in real life or in media, it's always been "I'm [blank]", but I've never seen someone come out as "I'm not cis/straight". It's always a declaration that you are a specific thing, never a statement that you aren't something someone thought you were. I remember really wanting to make sure I knew exactly what I was and didn't come out as one thing and then change my labels later, because it would mean I'd have to come out again and it would be embarrassing that I got things wrong and maybe people would start to doubt me and not believe me when I said I was something in the future. But, people don't have to be a fixed, immutable set of labels forever; I'm comfortable with using vague labels for myself and letting myself be vague and nebulous and fluid without frantically trying to label every single part of myself. (And, in fact, I did technically get my labels slightly wrong the very first time I came out, and everything turned out okay in the end.)

So, maybe coming out puts an undue pressure on finding specific labels and making sure they're exactly right; maybe coming out should also be able to be "I'm not cis/straight". What do people think?

(This is not to say that specific labels are bad, because they can often be very helpful! Specific labels were helpful for me when I used them, and their existence can spark conversations and lead to new perspectives and learning. Even as I'm finding vagueness and nebulousness to be better for me right now than specific detailed labels, other people can be finding that specific detailed labels give them a sense of belonging and community and identity. But, I still wonder if coming out placed an undue burden on younger me to find all the right labels when vagueness could have worked just as well.)

#i had a random thought and i decided that i should post it and see if people had thoughts #gonna try to do this more i think #since i randomly have queer thoughts that i'd be interested to discuss with others #my thoughts #queer #lgbtq #original #aspec #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #nonbinary #trans #enby #transgender

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ryttu3k · 2 months

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Is it possible to be aro without being ace?

The extremely short version: yes, absolutely! You may want to look up the term 'aroallo'.

This post got huge (nearly a thousand words), so below the cut it goes for A Lot of detail!

With the disclaimer that I'm aro-ace personally and so this isn't my personal experience, yes, absolutely! The split attraction model (first proposed in 1879, later repopularised exactly a century later in 1979, with the aspec community in particular embracing it from around 2005 when the term 'aromantic' was first used, and coining the term 'split attraction model' specifically around 2015) says that romantic orientation and sexual orientation don't necessarily have to be the same thing.

A lot of the times, these orientations are congruent - someone who's panromantic pansexual, for instance, who might just describe themself as pan (or pansexual without differentiating the panromantic part), or aromantic asexual. They can also diverge - someone might be, say, homoromantic bisexual (romantically attracted only to the same gender, sexually attracted to two or more genders).

The aspec community does use it more in particular, I've noticed, although jury is still out on whether aspec people genuinely do have a higher instance of split attraction, or whether there are sociocultural reasons behind it (the term originating largely in the community).

So, some definitions! Aromantic = not romantically attracted to anyone. Arospec = on the aromantic spectrum, including aromantic, demiromantic, etc. Often uses qualifiers to describe who the attraction is towards. Alloromantic = romantically attracted to people. Asexual = not sexually attracted to anyone. Acespec = on the asexual spectrum, including asexual, demisexual, etc. Allosexual = sexually attracted to people. Aspec = pertaining to the arospectrum and acespectrum. Allospec = pertaining to alloromantic and allosexual people.

Then you can basically mix and match to describe your experience! Let's say you're romantically attracted potentially to all genders, but only after a strong emotional connection develops, and not sexually attracted to anyone. You could describe yourself as demi-panromantic asexual, or, more simplified, as arospec ace. Or, let's say you're a man romantically attracted to men, and sexually attracted to men and androgynous people. You could describe yourself as homoromantic bisexual. Or, if that same dude wasn't sexually attracted to anyone, he'd be homoromantic asexual, and could use 'alloace' as shorthand - alloromantic, asexual.

And yes, that absolutely includes being not romantically attracted to anyone (aromantic) and sexually attracted to others (allosexual, which can be described further - homosexual, bisexual, et cetera). As an umbrella term, you could use the term 'aroallo', which does seem to be the most popular term to use, both as a Tumblr tag and as a subreddit (r/aroallo). Probably on other socials but I don't use those XD;;

(Aro-ace specifically seems to use both 'aro-ace' and 'aroace'. I use the former. AFAIK, aroallo and alloace mostly use the non-hyphen version, but again, not much personal experience there.)

An important disclaimer - orientation is messy and imprecise. We use language to try to give some sort of definition, but it's not a black and white thing. People may describe themselves with apparently contradictory terms, like ace lesbian or the like. This is largely due to those spectra (the arospectrum and acespectrum) being huge. There are so many ways to be on those spectra! A small selection of acespec identities include not just asexual, demisexual, and grey asexual, but aceflux (sexual orientation fluctuates, either solely within the ace spectrum or between no and some/a lot of attraction), aegosexual (someone who experiences a disconnect between themselves and the target of arousal, ie. someone who experiences sexual attraction towards others but without themself being in the picture; I've found a lot of people in fandom fit aego, where they're sexually attracted to, say, two fictional characters but they never insert themself into the scene), cupiosexual (asexual or acespec, but still desires sexual actions despite not feeling sexual attraction towards a partner; someone who is otherwise ace but enjoys sex with their partner as a method of being close may describe themself as cupiosexual), etc.

There are also various views towards orientation, sort of along two spectra. One of these spectra is about how you view sex in general, between positive (sex, conceptually and in general, is a good thing!), neutral (sex sure is a thing that exists!), and negative (sex, conceptually and in general, is a bad thing!). Then, there's how you feel about it for yourself - sex-favourable means that even if you're ace, you may enjoy sex for assorted reasons (see: cupio), sex-indifferent means, eh, you don't have strong feelings about having it yourself, and sex-averse is "no thank you not for me!!", with sex-repulsed being considered a stronger variation ("sex is Ew and I don't want to even think about it") that can fit on either spectrum. I would consider myself sex-positive (leaning more towards neutral, I don't think it's a negative thing but it can be used in that way, like any sort of relationship) and sex-averse (no thank you not for me!!). A sex-positive and -averse person may still enjoy erotica; a sex-neutral and -favourable person may enjoy being intimate with a partner even if sex itself is just kind of. A thing.

This has got extremely long-winded, but the short version is: yes, it is absolutely possible to be aro without being ace. The split attraction describes that precisely, and precise definitions of attraction are imprecise and fiddly and can only really give an approximation of individual experiences, and all of these terms are optional anyway - but yes, very possible, often called aroallo.

I hope this helps! :D

#aromanticism #aromantic #asexuality #aroallo #aspec #lgbtq #split attraction model

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superiorkenshi · 3 months

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As an Aroace I don't mind seeing ship with Alastor what I do mind is people erasing the fact he's aroace. Yes Aroace people can be in relationship but they are still aroace and I feel like a lot of shiper forget that!

I think lesbian community would not appreciate seeing vaggie shipped with male caracter and the gay community would also not want to see angel dust shipped with female caracter, it's the same for alastor.

If you want to ship him and have fun with dynamics go for it but take time to explore aroace relationship like queer platonic ship and other way of caring for someone before screaming that you can ship him cause aroace can date like you actually know how aroace date-

I actually have a lot of Alastor ship cause yeah shipping is fun but I keep Alastor orientation in my ship and I play with different dynamics so yeah keep having fun but respect one of the few aroace rep we have 🧡��🤍💙

#kenshi's fandom #aroace #aromantic #asexual #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor

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ace-sher-bi-john · 6 months

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Sherlock Holmes: Aro-Spec, A-Spec, Gay Icon

What is Sherlock Holmes' orientation?

Asexual? Aromantic? Homosexual/romantic? Why not all three?

Something I've noticed during my time in this fandom is that people can't always agree on what Sherlock's sexual/romantic orientation is. Most people say that he's gay, some people say that he's ace. These two headcanons are rarely paired together.

I've seen people who think he's asexual be called homophobic because it feels like it's taking away from the gay representation they get from Johnlock. What they don't appear to realize is that asexual people can still have romantic or even sexual relationships. It also seems that people confuse being asexual with being aromantic a lot. Asexuality and aromanticism are not the same thing.

(There are lots of people who don't ship Johnlock, and either ship Sherl with someone else or with no one and that's valid! I personally am a Johnlock shipper)

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction and Aromanticism is defined as a lack of romantic attraction. Both of these have a spectrum as well.

Asexual people can experience sexual attraction, only experience it sometimes, or not experience it at all. If you are anywhere on the asexual spectrum, it simply means that you don't experience an urge to have sex with someone in some or all cases.

You might enjoy sex. You might be repulsed by it. You might be completely indifferent towards it. You might even have urges every now and then. That is still valid. On one end of the spectrum, you don't experience any sexual attraction, on the other, you do experience sexual attraction, and all throughout the middle are varying levels of attraction/urges or lack thereof. There are more identities out there under the ace umbrella. There's demisexual which means that you only experience sexual attraction towards people you've developed an emotional connection with first. Greysexual means that you rarely experience sexual attraction, but it does happen sometimes. Lithosexual means you experience sexual attraction, but don't want it reciprocated. There are many more, you can do your research if you want to know all of them. I don't want to make this post too long, as I fear I may already have done.

The same thing goes for the aromantic spectrum.

Being aromantic means that you don't experience romantic attraction. Depending on where you are on the spectrum, you may experience romantic attraction sometimes, or not at all. Some aromantic people love the idea of romance, romantic gestures, have no problem holding hands, kissing, etc. You can participate in romantic relationships, you can get married, and it will never mean you're less aromantic. All being aromantic means is that you don't feel romantic attraction. It being a spectrum means that on one end, you do experience romantic attraction and on the other end you don't. All in the middle, you experience varying levels of romantic attraction. The labels are basically the same as the ace labels and mean basically the same thing.

(Edit: I've just noticed that I forgot to mention queer platonic relationships. So here we go)

Aromantic people may experience feelings for friends that go beyond friendship, but aren't in anyway romantic or sexual. They may choose to form relationships with others that are more than friendship but not quite romantic. These are called Queer Platonic Relationships or QPRs. They are just as valid as romantic relationships and are not just friendships. People in QPRs love their partner just as deeply, if not more so than people in romantic relationships.

When someone is asexual, but not aromantic, you put a label for their romantic attraction. For example: Biromantic asexual, heteromantic asexual, homoromantic asexual, panromantic asexual, etc.

So basically, you can experience limited or no sexual/romantic attraction and still have relationships. You can be aroace and gay. So therefore my headcanon is that Sherlock is grey-homoromantic asexual.

It took me a little bit of deciding between demiromantic and greyromantic. But they both sound just as cliche as the other. In both cases, John is the one and only person that Sherlock ever falls in love with. If he's demi, it's because he's never gotten this emotionally close to someone before and that's why John is his only love. But I wanted to see Sherlock struggle with his new, unfamiliar romantic feelings from the beginning. From that very first day that John walked into the lab at Bart's.

Sherlock doesn't even know what the weird emotions he's feeling are. They are subtle at first, because love at first sight is even more cliche. He doesn't really start to feel them as anything too distracting or difficult until the pool incident. Almost losing John, caused other unfamiliar feelings that Sherlock didn't want to deal with, along with the telltale signs of romantic love. But Sherlock chooses to ignore it for as long as possible, denying the fact that he could be in love with anyone. Let alone his very straight, not gay in the slightest, bi in denial roommate. It's too much of a risk with anyone. Platonic relationships are already a risk, but he's seen the strange things that romantic love can do to people. He doesn't allow himself to feel most emotions anyway, why would he allow himself to feel romantic love?

Once he allows himself to realize that the emotion he's feeling is romantic love, he struggles with his identity. He knows that he's aromantic, so how is it possible that he's feeling this way? Eventually he will come to discover greyromanticism and realize that he's not crazy, and he's not suddenly alloromantic. He is experiencing rare romantic feelings for John, which he's never experienced before and will likely never experience again.

He's still aromantic. He's not "fixed". Sherlock is valid in being aromantic and feeling romantic attraction.

Then add in some asexual tension once they finally get together and we should be good to go!

Thank you for reading. Hopefully that wasn't too long for you.

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aro-bird · 3 months

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I've been thinking about how to phrase this post for months but honestly it's been a bit of a struggle but I'll try anyway.

Considering I made a post before about shipping aroace characters and how allos tend to use the lived experiences of aros and aces in order to justify shipping a (typically repulsed or uninterested) non-partnering aspec character I do think this discourse genuinely has way more nuance especially considering other aspecs and shipping and a wider discussion about the community.

As much as I do want to agree here that some aroaces do use media to explore their sexualities and romantic orientation and they often project it on to established or widely regarded aspec characters, as well as non-partnering aspecs have a right to feel upset when a non-partnering character gets partnered in media, it feels like there's a defensiveness from both sides about the issue and it definitely reflects a larger discussion on romance and sexuality in the community.

It's true, for example, that we don't get much aroace representation in media and the ones we get are often limited or very stereotypically non-partnering romance-repulsed ace characters, but even with these stereotypes there are very much real aroaces who fit them who shouldn't have to beg people to have a character's identity be respected especially from other members of the aspec.

It's also true that non-partnering romance-repulsed characters in media do need to be seen and respected as these characters often have an impact and helping the aspec community be recognized without being treated as some strange other, but being treated as some strange other is also something that other aspecs have to deal with especially if people have a very narrow view of what aromanticism and asexuality could be.

People seem extremely defensive on both sides and honestly it's not surprising. A lot of the people in the community deal with erasure, not just in media but even in their own social circles and it could be exhausting trying to prove your existence to other people, especially in spaces where you would expect to be more respected than others like a fandom that has a prominent aspec character for example. It doesn't seem to be just silly fandom drama at times but an extension of the other issues in the community too.

How we treat romance and sexuality for example as a topic reflects that with aroaces discoursing on whether or not we should discuss more of these topics with the amount of posts either saying that "aspecs can do [insert romantic/sexual activity] too and should not be infantilized or treated as all repulsed about this thing besides being a narrow view of aromanticism/asexuality which can invalidate and hurt other members of the community" or "we should be more careful with discussing sexual/romantic discussions because it feels like a lot of them are veering into shaming repulsed people territory which is what this community was trying to set out not to do like other communities had done to hurt us in the past". There's definitely a nuance there that should be recognized when diving deep into this and especially with regards to the effect of allonormativity and amatonormativity that often gets ignored in some of these discussions.

I don't know where I'm going with this but I guess I understand why some aroaces may want to ship the (typically repulsed or uninterested) non-partnering aroace character and I also get why others are defensive about shipping them.

I do feel like the solution isn't gonna be that simple except maybe stop harassing each other over this but otherwise the discourse will continue even if we get more aspec characters in the future from what I'm seeing. We genuinely have a lot more aspec characters than we ever did before and a lot more queer characters in general, and the discourse is still there as it was ten years ago.

#mayaposts #ship #shipping #shipping discourse #aroace representation #aroace #<- sorry for tagging this it's a wider community discussion to akdbsjfb #aromantic #asexual #aromantic asexual #aro #ace #amatonormativity #allonormativity

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boldlygreatsuit · 1 month

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youtube

Why I love one-sided radiostatic

Before I start this little rant I must disclose that I’m aroace (so please know that this isn’t me trying to erase his orientation and present asexually as a problem, this is me trying to explore these complex and flawed characters) and so naturally I love the representation of alastor also being aroace so maybe me shipping radiostatic is a little hypocritical of me but I can’t help but love the story and tragic character exploration behind it.

Personally I like to believe that Alastor GENUINELY loved Vox, just not in the way he wanted. (They had some kind of queer platonic relationship but Vox wanted more and Al felt uncomfortable) And I think it killed Alastor to hurt his closest friend so much when he turned him down, I’ve been through something similar with an old friend I used to have. I know what’s it like so maybe I’m projecting onto Al but ehhhh.

It’s easy to just paint alastor and a evil psychopathic serial killer, a cannibal, and sadist, who loves torturing and tormenting people, don’t get me wrong, he is all those things but don’t forget he’s also human, he still has emotions no matter how much he represses them for the sake of his pride, reputation and self preservation. I could totally see him struggling to understand why’s he’s different and just brushing it off, after all, it’s never been an issue before now. He never had many close friends, nobody he’d ever be interested in pursuing. And now the person he loves the most wants him and he cant bring himself to want him back no matter how much he wants too.

I like the idea that Alastor wants to want him so much but he just can’t and it absolutely destroys him. He feels guilty and ashamed that he cant reciprocate Voxs feeling towards him (remember he’s from the 1930s, I doubt he knows what the LGTB is, let alone asexually so he’s probably under the impression that’s he’s broken in some regard. He probably never gave romantic and sex much thought, assuming that he would start feeling something eventually but nothing ever happened). While Vox just cant understand why he doesn’t like him back and keeps trying and it creates an uncomfortable situation for both of them.

I think radiostatic can be so tragic, they both love each other but in different ways and it tears them apart and they lose their closest friend due to it. Which ends up with them both bitter, raw and angry. Both blaming each other outwardly (Vox hating that Alastor rejected him while Alastor is upset that Vox went and caught feelings, complicating their perfectly platonic relationship) but internally hating themselves (Vox thinks he did something wrong to scare alastor away while Alastor hates that he couldn’t feel the same way).

I know Alastor is a very prideful person but I think behind closed doors his incredibly sentimental, after all, he’s pretty much a snapshot of the 1930s and he doesn’t seem to happy about change. So I could just imagine him up at night staring at the ceiling struggling with what he could do, whether or not, he should just lie to keep Vox happy and enter a relationship He does not want to be in so he can avoid losing his best friend (but also risk leading him on); or he turns him down and is honest with himself, not forcing himself into a relationship he doesn’t want but irreversibly hurting Vox in the process, and also risking losing Vox forever.

This could also create an interesting situation where Alastor agrees to date Vox and really tries to love him, hoping that maybe he’ll start feeling something eventually or at least get used to it. Of course this doesn’t really work and just creates resentment and pent-up emotions. Due to lying to Vox about wanting him and digging himself into this hole and the longer he stays the harder it is to leave without hurting Vox, this could lead to a messy breakup when Al just cant take it anymore and leaves.

I think “never love an anchor” and “tongue and teeth” are such perfect songs to encapsulate this kind of situation, the guilt and remorse but also the inevitability and hopelessness of it, the knowledge that there ISNT a right answer, no fairytale ending, this isn’t something to be overcome only accepted, and no matter what is done someone gets hurt severely and the only question is who and by how much.

I want to see a Alastor and Vox confrontation where we see how upset they are and how they’re equally heartbroken. Al for the first time shows actual vulnerability as he’s expressing his self loathing and guilt towards his choices but even so he stands by them and tries to defend them. He hates that he did what he did but there wasn’t another option for him and he didnt know what to do.

They both struggle with their emotions but also their pride and respective personas, not wanting to put aside their pride and admit their own shortcomings and guilt, and be genuinely honest and vulnerable with each other. They want to comfort the other but they’re just at a point where they don’t know if they could, if it would make it worse. they both still love each so so so much (in different ways) but it’s all wrapped up in fear, resentment, guilt and heartbreak which complicates things.

Ngl the best outcome is these two going to therapy, probably Charlie, and actually learn how to communicate.

#Youtube #alastor hazbin hotel #vox hazbin hotel #Vox #Alastor #radiostatic #staticradio #i know im a sucker for the angst #angst #kinda controversial #rant post #rant #shipping #complex relationships

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demonicchicken1121 · 1 month

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sorry to be “that guy” but I saw your asexual henry willry post and I just wanted to say that asexual people can still experience romantic attraction! a lack of romantic attraction would be aromantic, not asexual. and aromanticism/asexuality consist of spectrums, you can still experience sexual attraction as an asexual, or romantic attraction as an aromantic!

Henry is aroace. He labels himself purely as asexual because he doesn’t know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction. He also feels more inclined to call himself asexual because that is the label he feels fits him best, which is based on my own experience. I am aroace but relate more to the asexual identity and asexuality is a bit easier to explain to the average person than gray-romantic, which I am. I also haven’t quite figured out his romantic orientation. This au is a wip. Many of the people who read my RtH post have been following the au for a bit, and understand some of the nuances and unfinished pieces of the characters.

also I am aware that asexuality and aromantism is a spectrum. I am on that spectrum. Henry is sex repulsed. RtH Henry has always been sex repulsed. Williams obsession with him is sexual in nature. If William had actually been open with Henry early on, then maybe they could have had a relationship, but it also could have led to conflict because of Henry’s sex repulsion. That is a major part of the story. William and Henry are both in love with each other, but in very different ways. It’s part of why this version of willry is so tragic, because they can’t love each other in a way that matters to the other. And neither of them are in the wrong in this situation. It’s just a part of life that gets in the way of relationships sometimes.

all parts of the aro and ace spectrums are valid, but it seems that many people only acknowledge gray and Demi and other such identities when they want to ship a-spec characters. People trying to figure out or represent their own identities create some really great stories and art. But often times people use Demi/gray identities, and things like qprs to erase a characters aro/ace identity rather than actually researching and attempting to write those identities and relationships well.

I don’t think you meant to be disrespectful, but please do keep in mind the current situation around aro/ace characters, especially when the person writing them is aro/ace. Idk if you are aro/ace yourself, but I’m also noting this because of how many people treat aro/ace people an characters.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy’s #henry emily #william afton #willry #fnaf au #road to hell au #fnaf road to hell #asexuality #aromantic #aroace #arospec #acespec

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