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ace-sher-bi-john · 6 months

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Sherlock Holmes: Aro-Spec, A-Spec, Gay Icon

What is Sherlock Holmes' orientation?

Asexual? Aromantic? Homosexual/romantic? Why not all three?

Something I've noticed during my time in this fandom is that people can't always agree on what Sherlock's sexual/romantic orientation is. Most people say that he's gay, some people say that he's ace. These two headcanons are rarely paired together.

I've seen people who think he's asexual be called homophobic because it feels like it's taking away from the gay representation they get from Johnlock. What they don't appear to realize is that asexual people can still have romantic or even sexual relationships. It also seems that people confuse being asexual with being aromantic a lot. Asexuality and aromanticism are not the same thing.

(There are lots of people who don't ship Johnlock, and either ship Sherl with someone else or with no one and that's valid! I personally am a Johnlock shipper)

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction and Aromanticism is defined as a lack of romantic attraction. Both of these have a spectrum as well.

Asexual people can experience sexual attraction, only experience it sometimes, or not experience it at all. If you are anywhere on the asexual spectrum, it simply means that you don't experience an urge to have sex with someone in some or all cases.

You might enjoy sex. You might be repulsed by it. You might be completely indifferent towards it. You might even have urges every now and then. That is still valid. On one end of the spectrum, you don't experience any sexual attraction, on the other, you do experience sexual attraction, and all throughout the middle are varying levels of attraction/urges or lack thereof. There are more identities out there under the ace umbrella. There's demisexual which means that you only experience sexual attraction towards people you've developed an emotional connection with first. Greysexual means that you rarely experience sexual attraction, but it does happen sometimes. Lithosexual means you experience sexual attraction, but don't want it reciprocated. There are many more, you can do your research if you want to know all of them. I don't want to make this post too long, as I fear I may already have done.

The same thing goes for the aromantic spectrum.

Being aromantic means that you don't experience romantic attraction. Depending on where you are on the spectrum, you may experience romantic attraction sometimes, or not at all. Some aromantic people love the idea of romance, romantic gestures, have no problem holding hands, kissing, etc. You can participate in romantic relationships, you can get married, and it will never mean you're less aromantic. All being aromantic means is that you don't feel romantic attraction. It being a spectrum means that on one end, you do experience romantic attraction and on the other end you don't. All in the middle, you experience varying levels of romantic attraction. The labels are basically the same as the ace labels and mean basically the same thing.

(Edit: I've just noticed that I forgot to mention queer platonic relationships. So here we go)

Aromantic people may experience feelings for friends that go beyond friendship, but aren't in anyway romantic or sexual. They may choose to form relationships with others that are more than friendship but not quite romantic. These are called Queer Platonic Relationships or QPRs. They are just as valid as romantic relationships and are not just friendships. People in QPRs love their partner just as deeply, if not more so than people in romantic relationships.

When someone is asexual, but not aromantic, you put a label for their romantic attraction. For example: Biromantic asexual, heteromantic asexual, homoromantic asexual, panromantic asexual, etc.

So basically, you can experience limited or no sexual/romantic attraction and still have relationships. You can be aroace and gay. So therefore my headcanon is that Sherlock is grey-homoromantic asexual.

It took me a little bit of deciding between demiromantic and greyromantic. But they both sound just as cliche as the other. In both cases, John is the one and only person that Sherlock ever falls in love with. If he's demi, it's because he's never gotten this emotionally close to someone before and that's why John is his only love. But I wanted to see Sherlock struggle with his new, unfamiliar romantic feelings from the beginning. From that very first day that John walked into the lab at Bart's.

Sherlock doesn't even know what the weird emotions he's feeling are. They are subtle at first, because love at first sight is even more cliche. He doesn't really start to feel them as anything too distracting or difficult until the pool incident. Almost losing John, caused other unfamiliar feelings that Sherlock didn't want to deal with, along with the telltale signs of romantic love. But Sherlock chooses to ignore it for as long as possible, denying the fact that he could be in love with anyone. Let alone his very straight, not gay in the slightest, bi in denial roommate. It's too much of a risk with anyone. Platonic relationships are already a risk, but he's seen the strange things that romantic love can do to people. He doesn't allow himself to feel most emotions anyway, why would he allow himself to feel romantic love?

Once he allows himself to realize that the emotion he's feeling is romantic love, he struggles with his identity. He knows that he's aromantic, so how is it possible that he's feeling this way? Eventually he will come to discover greyromanticism and realize that he's not crazy, and he's not suddenly alloromantic. He is experiencing rare romantic feelings for John, which he's never experienced before and will likely never experience again.

He's still aromantic. He's not "fixed". Sherlock is valid in being aromantic and feeling romantic attraction.

Then add in some asexual tension once they finally get together and we should be good to go!

Thank you for reading. Hopefully that wasn't too long for you.

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soulless-bex · 1 year

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peridot and lapis are platonic partners and i will take no criticism

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blended-ice · 2 months

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One more kiss

#peas n guac #been listening to whatever it takes and having so many feelings about vaggie #DO WHATEVER IT TAKES ILL MAKE THE MISTAKES ILL SPEND MY LIFE BEING YOUR PARTNER #and the reprise of more than anything #so many lives you’ve changed so many souls you’ve touched #vaggie believes in her so wholly I CANT #i’m in love with their love #vaggie #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel #chaggie #id in alt text #fanart

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mcytrash · 5 months

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Me: i dont rlly care about minecraft rp characters having canon sexualities, I feel like most servers just go from the fantasy books logic in wich this is a place ppl just don't have labels at all and/or characters are matched by the plot and their orientation is simply malleable by plot priorities and that's fine...

Bagi, cellbit, fit, jaiden, mike and bad: here is my character that is canonicaly gay/lesbian/aroace/aro and their orientation is brought up and it makes them have even more depth when considering backstory and current storyline

Me:

#the gay guy from a quite homofobic war wasteland #the two aroace characters that have their own playonic life partners and families that values them just as much as their romantic partners #they all make me so emotional #qsmp #jaiden animations #cellbit #fitmc #badboyhalo #mikethelink #bagi cattuzzo

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knifearo · 5 months

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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

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kyasunn · 5 months

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Coming soon to a theatre near you

#secret life #life series spoilers #trafficblr #zombie cleo #zombiecleo #grian #fanart #on an unrelated note does anyone want to talk about this session's cletho with me please #that one moment in the zombie movie when the partner gets bitten but chooses to self sacrifice instead of infecting their partner #ky-posts-drawing #third life was desert duo... double life was ranchers... secret life is the series of cletho...!#1k

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catsharky · 4 months

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Yeah I was right and there was no way I was getting the rest of this done without making you all wait another month or two, so I just went to the next good break point. We're officially past the halfway point with Astarion though, so not too much longer before you actually get to see Rolan again!

Part 1 • Previous Part • Next Part

Full page format under the cut:

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 comic #I just really love Ember and Astarion's dynamic as well ok #He's who she canonly ends up with but the Rolan timeline is if Astarion had decided he wasn't ready for a physical relationship after all #in which case his relationship with Ember doesn't really change they just end up platonic life partners instead of romantic ones #that duo who everyone assumes are a couple because they might as well be but nah #hopefully gonna get to show off how Ember and Rolan work together once I get back to him cause I love their chemistry just as much #rolan x tav #tav x rolan #rolan x ember #bg3 astarion #astarion #my tav #sharky's tav #tav: ember #oc: ember #sharky art

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stil-lindigo · 8 months

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warmth.

a comic about not being alone.

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creative notes:

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all my other comics

store

#to all the trans men and women and anyone who feels like they have to stifle themselves for their own safety #may you never feel like youre alone in this #this comic is one of my more grounded ones #it just felt right to not try to decorate this one in a lot of symbolic fanfare #sometimes i have to go above and beyond to fit the vision. this felt right being pretty understated.#i really did my best with this one and i hope it shows #you all deserve so much joy and so much love from your partners in life #and i hope you like this and if you dont thats okay too #thats all #thank you for your support #and as always #thank you for reading #comic art #lgbtqia+#queer comics #hearteaters #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

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emiko-matsui · 1 month

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if you wanna listen to naddpod you should know this about the hosts: brian murphy is a straightman to his inner most core and he's the funniest person alive, these things exist simultaneously and would not exist without the other. emily axford is clinically insane to a point where it's easier to not try to follow her logic when she says things. jake hurwitz is a certified cool guy but he's the biggest loser in a room of nerds playing dungeons and dragons. caldwell tanner can only be described as exactly what a 1930's cartoon describes as a rascal. three of them are a throuple and the fourth is their boss.

#naddpod #not another dnd podcast #brian murphy #emily axford #jake hurwitz #caldwell tanner #8 bit book club #bahumia #trinyvale #eldermourne #ba2mia #and yes i know theyre not technically a throuple its just murph and emily that are a couple but if the intro to your podcast is 'my life #slash comedy partner my wife and my other life slash comedy partner caldwell' im calling you a throuple

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bigchumpus · 26 days

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They bring me so much joy ┌(˵༎ຶ ل͟ ༎ຶ˵)┐

#saw some comments here and there about how this is the one time dd actually willing partnered together #then i thought about how we could've potential had that a while ago if it weren't for Scar's task in SL #AYYFBJUUYDFHKIEDHKOGG #THEN I realized I was pretty much dead the entire time on Tumblr #so have some secret life + real life :'D #grian #grian fanart #goodtimeswithscar #gtws fanart #desertduo #secret life #real life smp #traffic life #trafficblr #chump

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silvermoon424 · 8 months

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I'm so fucking sick of amatonormativity dude. Someone on Reddit left a comment that was basically like "the majority of people need a romantic relationship to be happy, it's how we're wired" and I responded saying that I disagreed and that more and more people (especially women) are finding fulfillment in other relationships and are happy being single.

I got heavily downvoted.

Of course most people like being in a committed relationship, but you don't have to be aromantic or asexual to enjoy being single. Maybe more people would like being single if we as a culture stopped pushing the narrative (especially on women) that being single is lonely, horrible, and depressing and that you need a romantic partner to be a complete person.

#amatonormativity is so insidious and prevalent and most people don't even realize they've fallen for the propaganda #like of course having a life partner is very important to a lot of people #but can we PLEASE stop acting like almost everyone is 'wired' for a monogamous romantic/sexual relationship #and people always fall back on 'well humans are social creatures we need to have relationships'#bitch I have my friends and family and colleagues what relationships am I lacking #amatonormativity #aromantic #aromantism #arospec #aspec #asexual #aroace #aphobia #1k

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lotus-pear · 8 months

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