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weirdthinkingdragon · 3 years

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Welcome To The Family (6/???)

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / here

Yandere EraserMic household x reader

Fun fact- Tadao was a sudden decision I made up on the spot after chapter 3 and wasn’t expecting to really make him a character other than a mentioned person with a mold/fungus quirk. I did though, and already love him as an OC more than I should. Oops.

It might be a long while before the next chapter. I think I may have drained myself a bit from focusing on this story so much.

Warnings- swearing, slight coercion I think? Not really sure but better safe than sorry.

I promise the darker stuff is coming soon.

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I wake up to someone calling me. Hitoshi? Why is he calling me at… 9 in the morning? Come on dude, I want to sleep more for dinner tonight. My fault for hanging out with Tadao a bit later last night than usual. He’s started walking with me to our apartment for the past few days. I wonder why we haven’t hung out until now. Meanwhile, Ryo and I seemed to drift apart. They refuse to even look at me now when I saw them last night.

Ugh, might as well answer it. “Hey, Hitoshi. You need something?” I tiredly slur from just waking up.

“Sorry for waking you…” Apologized the familiar voice of Eri. Wait, Eri? Why does she have Hitoshi’s phone? The wonder why she has his phone wakes me up a bit more.

“Oh, hey, Eri. Is something wrong?” A slight panic enters me in the possibility something bad could have happened to one of the guys. “Wait, is everyone okay?”

“We’re good. Just wanted to talk a bit with you before tonight.” Pipes up the familiar voice of Hitoshi in the background.

Relief floods me. “That’s good. What about?”

“Our dads!” Eri cheerfully informs.

My eyes narrow in confusion. “What about them?”

“What do you think of them?” Hitoshi asks. Huh? Why does this need to be talked about now? Maybe because more likely than not the two adults are asleep, and won’t hear the conversation?

I’m too tired to be filtered right now, so whatever comes to mind is whatever is going to be said. “They’re… An interesting two, to say the least. Hizashi seems like someone I can rely on to cheer me up pretty easily if I’m ever down, and after that day Shouta was sick, I realize Shouta’s secretly a lot more caring than he lets on. Still wouldn’t want to pi- anger him.” Ugh, it’s too early. I nearly just swore with Eri there! Well, saying “piss him off” wouldn’t have been that bad, but she needs to keep that innocence at least for a while yet.

Hitoshi laughs, probably catching on with what I almost said. “Seen it first-hand with his class. Can’t say I recommend it either.”

“What about looks?” Eri suddenly asks, catching me off-guard. What do their looks have to do with anything? They’re also a married couple, so whatever I think is invalid anyways.

“Well, had this weird thought of wondering what Hizashi would look like with his hair fully down when we went to the festival, but that’s really not something that I need to tell him. It’s something I probably shouldn’t be wondering in the first place.”

“What’s the problem in wondering that? It’s just hair.”

“Says the one who always looks like he stuck his head out a car window and hair decided to stay that way.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

I go back onto the topic. “Otherwise, I’m not really sure what to talk about with them. It’s their choices of what they wear. Though it IS pretty funny imagining Hizashi forcing Shouta to wear something he normally wouldn’t.”

“It’s happened more than once before.”

I tiredly let out a laugh. “I believe it.”

“Daddy made him wear a dress!”

An almost inhuman sound comes out of me at the thought of Shouta deeply frowning with a strapless hot pink dress forced onto him, and the only reason he does it is Hizashi would probably keep pestering him otherwise.

“Maybe sometime we could get him to do it again with you here. It’s quite a thing to see.”

“Oh, really? How did he not kill you for laughing?”

“He almost did,” he replies jokingly.

“If he tries to attack me when I’m there, you’re taking the blow.” I joke back.

He goes silent for a moment. “He wouldn’t dare. If he did, he’d have an angry little girl scolding him.”

“Toooshiiii!”

“What? You know I’m right.”

“Hmph.”

“Anyway, want to tell them what you’ll wear?”

“No! It’s a surprise!”

“Right back at you two,” I inform the slightly bickering duo.

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We both hung up after a bit more of talking about tonight. I could swear there was someone talking in the background for a second, but I brushed it off as the T.V. Eri was probably watching something earlier and forgot to lower the volume.

After playing on my computer for a while since it’s close to my bed, I decided to just get up and get ready. There are not many fancy things I have, so it’s quite limited on what to wear. Hopefully, they don’t mind if it’s a bit more casual than fancy. There’s plenty of time to shop for something, but I’m honestly too lazy to go anywhere. Just something of my favorite color and slightly more fancy than my daily clothes should work.

I have to dig much deeper into my closet to find said clothing from not wearing it too often.

One of my favorite color is grabbed. Nope, that’s not it.

I move a few more. Wait, there it is! I move a few more pieces of clothing and grab it, pulling it out. Hopefully, it still fits. Welp, time to try. I take off my pajamas.

Like a glove. Perfect!

Just to make sure there are no new forgotten holes or something, I look at myself in my body mirror. Huh, I actually look pretty good in this! I might have to wear it more often. Something feels like it’s missing though. Maybe a ring or something would help?

I look over to the select few rings I have, including the forgotten one Ryo gave me. My heart slightly twinges at remembering they gave it as a best friends type of ring years ago. A ring with real blue topaz fitting my middle finger.

Might as well wear it. I slip it on and decide to leave my room, though they won’t be here for a while yet. Maybe Tadao will be around.

My body instinctively starts looking around for the familiar- oh, not again. Does he LIKE sleeping on the floor in the hall or something? I walk up to his sleeping form. I gently nudge him to move with my foot.

He groans, and curls his head deeper onto his arm, also bringing his legs up so he’s a ball. “Come on dude, I know your quirk is related to mold and all, but you’re not supposed to BECOME it.”

“I am one with the floor… I shall be the floor…” He mumbles, probably sleep talking.

I nudge him harder, making him open his eyes to look up at me. “Heyyy Y/N. What time is it?” He sluggishly asks.

I check my phone. “Already half-past noon.”

That got his attention. Both of his eyes snapped open as he shot to sit up. He grabs his rather cracked phone and looks at it. There are a few messages on the screen without him unlocking it. They’re impossible to read as he seems frantic after looking at them. “Already!? Man, I gotta get ready! I’ll be late for work!”

I don’t even get the chance to ask him anything since he gets to his feet and sprints off past my door, probably to his.

Glancing at Ryo’s door, the thought of checking on them arises. No, they’re deciding on acting out like this. Crawling to them could only continue this childish way again at some point. Ugh, what to do now though? It will be boring to just sit around for the next few hours. The park could be good for a few hours.

The villains around though? Nah. Welp, more computer time.

Familiar brown hair in the corner of my eye catches my attention before returning to my door. It’s the woman that glared at me with Hizashi at the studio. What’s she doing around here? Never saw her around before, and she doesn’t exactly strike me as the type to like parties. Funny if she’s attracted to Hizashi like he told me.

She keeps her glare on me as she… Knocks on Ryo’s door? Oh hell no. There’s no way Ryo is hanging out with someone like that. I’m proven wrong though as Ryo opens the door and pulls them in without looking at me.

I- What? What’s going on lately?

Also, okay, what the ever-loving fuck Ryo!?

Calm down, give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the woman hasn’t told Ryo anything about my work, and maybe it can just be a sudden meeting they did at one point, and it’s an opposites attract type of friendship. After all, I haven’t really been around. They were bound to try to find someone else to hang out with I suppose. Should this be a concern to bring up with Hizashi and Shouta though?

I stand there still staring at Ryo’s door and blink confusedly. They couldn’t have found anyone better to hang out with? Even a villain would have been better than her in my opinion. Sure, more trouble from me being around two- basically three- heroes could arise, but I’d be willing to keep that kind of secret for them. But this? This gives me a bad feeling.

What if she’s the reason Ryo is acting so odd?

Next Sunday will be the day to get some answers from them. If they will talk to me, that is.

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Time seems to slip by while being on my computer. My phone notifies me of a text message. I look at it to see it’s from Hizashi.

“Hitoshi’s coming in to get ya! We’re waiting!” My eyes widen noticing it’s already past six at night.

I try to text him ASAP to not let Hitoshi come in. They won’t be happy with my living place. “That will be fine, call him off. I’ll be out shortly.”

“Too late! Sorry!”

I sigh. He doesn’t even know which one mine is! I put my computer away and quickly left. Looking left and right, there’s familiar purple hair far down on the right. Obviously, it’s Hitoshi. He is staring with great disgust at the peeling walls and ripped-up flooring. Oh boy, it’s probably a disaster with what is about to happen in the vehicle now.

The hallway is rather dimly lit now, making it slightly hard to see, but it’s easy to tell he’s wearing a suit matching his eye color. I’m feeling pretty underdressed now.

“Hey, Hitoshi. You could have waited outside. Uh… You probably should have no offense.”

He glares at a piece of wall that falls off onto the floor. “How do you live in this?”

I shrug. “Eh, you get used to it,” I noticed his frustrated expression. He’s about to ask me why I don’t move or something since I clearly could with my pay. “And before you say anything, I rather like it here. It’s where a lot of my closest friends are.”

His eyes narrow at me. “You could still visit instead of living here.”

Someone jumps upstairs, making the place shake, and a piece of the ceiling on this level chips off and falls next to the wall piece on the floor.

“That’s new,” I comment. It’s true, the ceiling has never fallen before. Makes me wonder when this whole building is going to collapse. Bit worried for my friends here now.

Hitoshi looks at me like I just told him the world is going to end tomorrow.

I start walking to the exit, having Hitoshi follow behind me too closely for my taste. Makes sense if he’s doing it for my protection, but he obviously doesn’t know these people as I do. He almost could be felt against my back. “You mind standing back a bit? You’re rather close.”

He does, but just barely.

It doesn't take long for us to get to the vehicle. Just like before, I get in the center and hug Eri. The slight light in the car makes it hard to see her dress, but I'm pretty sure it's a bright silverish blue. The light wasn't on long enough to notice the two up front.

They do seem to notice Hitoshi in a slightly on edge type of way. For the moment the light was on.

"What's wrong, little hypno-man?"

"Their apartment is not fitting to live in."

"What?" Hizashi's tone almost drastically changes. I'm glad I can't see them right now. I focus on the scenery past Hitoshi to try ignoring the growing unease of him whistleblowing to them.

"It's falling apart. A part of the wall fell to the floor. The inside is much worse than the outside."

"Why are you still living there? You can easily move with the money we give you." Shouta pipes up.

"Because I like living there. It's a walking distance from your place, and all my friends are there."

"You could visit them some other time if you moved. We'd pay a bus for you if needed."

"Exactly! Or I could drive ya to our place! It wouldn't be a problem, and it would give me a little somethin' to do while the grump wakes up in the morning!"

I don't feel comfortable at the thought of having to rely on them like that. They're already so busy themselves, it really wouldn't be fair to them despite what they say.

“Uh… no. Thanks for the offer, but my place is good for now.”

The air is rather tense, telling me that they want to push more on the subject, but decide not to for now.

I decided to bring up what happened earlier. “Remember that bad woman from before?”

“You mean Chiyo?” Shouta spits her name with such hate, someone would think he’d murder her if he could. Hizashi must have told him about our meeting in his studio. Wait, Isn’t that a first name?

As if reading my mind, Hizashi answers for Shouta. “She doesn’t deserve the respect of last name. What about her?”

“I discovered today she might be hanging out with one of my closest friends that doesn’t seem to be too happy with me lately. Isn’t it a bit of a concern she might tell them that I babysit for you guys?”

“That’s confidential information. Like it was said to you before you started, you can’t tell anyone our identities. They can get into serious trouble if they do, and they signed a contract accepting they wouldn’t.” Shouta replies.

“That’s good to know.” I say, sounding relieved. They could be told how Ryo thinks they’re bad parents for me babysitting so often, but that’s something that probably doesn’t need to be brought up. Especially if she can’t tell Ryo about it.

Hizashi pulls up and parks in front of the restaurant we must be dining in. wait- fuck, I’ve heard of this place. It’s one of the most expensive restaurants around here! We exit and enter the restaurant. The first thing I noticed was how well-dressed the two men were. Shouta was wearing a navy blue suit, white undershirt, and a light brown tie. Oddly, he’s also wearing glasses. When did he need glasses?

Hizashi was wearing a cream-colored suit with a dark grey undershirt and a tie matching his eye color. Looking at the four of them and the others around, I am… severely underdressed. Doesn’t feel much better with everyone that stares at me from their tables for a moment.

Wait- Hizashi’s. Hair. Is. Fully. Down. I whip my head towards Hitoshi and glare in betrayal.

He notices with a smirk, and puts his hands in front of himself in mock-defense. “Don’t look at me. He was there then, just didn’t speak.”

My eyes narrow. “So it really WASN’T the T.V.” Seriously though!? That’s so embarrassing! He must have heard everything!

Him and Hizashi chuckle at me, making me feel worse.

A woman comes up from the counter. “Please tell me the name of your reservation.”

“The Aizawa’s.” Um… I’m not exactly a part of this family? Well, it does make sense though I guess just to do a last name. Hizashi smirks at Shouta while he glares in return.

“Right this way please.” She starts to lead the five of us to a table farther in the back. The enormous chandeliers overhead from the really tall ceiling are slightly intimidating if I’m to be honest. Each crystal is taller than Hizashi from the top of his hair in his hero costume to his feet.

The white and gold walls of the place give a surprisingly calming type of effect. It’s rather cool in here as well. Probably to help combat the ones who wear layers of clothes to be more fancy or something.

“You couldn’t have chosen anything else?” Shouta hisses quietly enough for the woman not to hear, but I’m close enough that I can. I’m right between them from behind while Hitoshi and Eri are behind me. I can swear Hitoshi keeps trying to nudge me forward closer to them.

“Aw, don’t worry ‘bout it babe! Besides, you and I both know you’re known much less than me! This way they won’t know us!” He leans even closer to Shouta. “And don’t deny it, you know you like the thought of me bein’ called an Aizawa~”

I can see red start to cover the side of Shouta’s face even though he tries his best to hide and prevent it. Ha! Now he’s the one to be embarrassed!

I let out a chuckle, making Hizashi turn and give me a toothy grin.

We get to a table with booth seats. The color of them is surprisingly similar to Eri’s dress.

I go to sit with Hitoshi and Eri, but like before, Hizashi grabs my wrist and has me sit between him and Shouta. Why do you keep doing this to me dude!? Shouta is on my right by the wall with Hizashi on my left by the opening.

Eri is sitting by the wall with Hitoshi by the opening in front of us. I didn’t notice before, but her dress has some candy apple red jewels the shape of diamonds, adorning the dress even more than it already was. Must be new since it’s never been seen by me before.

… I don’t like the closeness of the two men beside me again. Saying it is uncomfortable is an understatement. A difference than before is the heat of their thighs radiating through their pants onto mine.

The woman hands us menus. “Someone will be here to take your orders shortly.”

I try to brush them off while looking at the menu.

“Hey Y/N, are ya datin’ anyone?”

“Maybe.” They don’t need to know I’m not.

“That’s a yes or no question.” Shouta states with slight annoyance. He must have forgotten I told him I’m not the day he was sick.

“They better not be a villain. We’d hate to have to do something to you and them. Better be honest, you’re not looking the best right now.” Hitoshi accuses.

What the heck Hitoshi!? You’re just going to turn on me like this!? Why I ought to come over there and smack the back of your head myself!

My saving grace as the waiter comes- Tadao!? This is where he works!? He comes up to our table with a notepad in front of him. "Hello, I’m Ito, and I’ll be your waiter for tonight. What can I get you started with?”

“Tadao, you work here?”

His head snaps up from the notepad, and looks at me. “Oh hey, Y/N!” His face becomes a smirk. “What happened to calling me glowstick?”

“Well, you’re not really glowing right now in this light, are you?”

“Ha, you got me there.”

The three men look between us with some look I don’t really understand.

“Ya know each other?”

“You could say we’re close.” Tadao informs. They grow rather deep frowns at the news.

He clears his throat and brings his notepad up. “What drinks could I start you guys with?” We each tell him our drinks and he writes them down. “All right, drinks coming right up!” He leaves to go get them.

“He’s one of the reasons I don’t move out of my apartment. Especially now. We’ve become really close recently.”

“You should stay away from him. He seems like bad news.” Hitoshi informs.

??? huh? “Why, do you know he has a villain record or something?”

“He could be using you. Stay away from him or we might have to make sure he doesn’t do anything.”

Okay, THAT pisses me off. “First of all, you guys can’t tell me who I can and can’t hang out with outside of babysitting hours. Second of all, I’d really appreciate it if you guys could be less judging of him, because he has never done anything even slightly villainous whenever we met.” My slightly edged tone makes them back off the topic. I wanted to add third of all being he walks with me at night to our apartment place, but that seems like a bad idea if their reaction is this so far.

It grows awkwardly silent between us all for a moment. Maybe I should have kept the others to myself too, but damn it, they need to have more respect for my decisions they were never a part of, and have no need to be a part of.

Tadao comes with our drinks. He places them down, and Hizashi immediately takes a big drink of his.

“Here you guys go, and one drink for one special person.” He jokingly winks at me.

I roll my eyes in response. “Sometimes I truly wonder if I hate you.” I tease.

He rolls his eyes in return. “Admit it, you know you love me.”

Hizashi chokes on his drink. I don’t help him from still being a bit upset. He should be fine anyways after a bit.

He does, and is able to manage keeping his quirk down as well.

“Do I?” I question teasingly.

The three men glare at him. Sheesh, what’s their problem?

He seems rather uncomfortable by it and leaves in a rush immediately after taking our orders. After I almost had a heart attack from the beyond insane prices, of course. Even the cheapest thing is over half the money I’m given a day for babysitting.

I’m getting pretty upset with these guys right now. Starting to wonder if they got hit with some odd quirk again or something.

That calms me down a bit since it would kind of make sense that’s why they’re acting odd. How long will it last though? Better not be long. I don’t know if I can handle them like this without losing my mind.

“Hey, Y/N. We have something for you,” Hitoshi pipes up, and nods towards Hizashi.

“Right!” He reaches into one of his pockets and pulls out a… necklace? It has my favorite type of jewel in it, encased behind and around the edges with what looks like real gold. A different shine is on it, like something is covering the gold to prevent it from easily being destroyed by weather or wear. The shape is in a rather large teardrop. It looks custom-made as well. Never seen anything even close to what this looks like before.

“It’s a gift!” Eri cheerfully chimes in.

“That she helped us pick for you.” Shouta informs.

Please don’t tell me it’s authentic. It looks real though. I can’t even begin to imagine the price of what it must have cost to create it if it is real. “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept this! It feels too much like I’m just using you guys if I do!”

The three of them frown. Even Eri seems a bit disappointed.

Eri asking me my favorite jewel kind of makes sense now, but why would they want to give this to me?

“C’mon, let’s put it on ya!” He hands it over to Hitoshi and stands up, pulling me to stand up with him. Hitoshi stands as well.

“Did you guys not hear me? I- I can’t accept it!”

Hizashi shakes his head. “Don’t be so worried, dear little lovesong! We want you to have it! Ya can’t just say no, we spent too much for it to go to waste now!”

Hitoshi goes behind me with the necklace and is able to put it on while I’m still rather reluctant to accept such a gift.

Eri’s eyes almost seem to sparkle when the clasp gets shut on it. “You look amazing!”

I freeze in my tracks to notice everyone is staring at us yet again. This time with slightly different reactions. A couple of them seem to be with envy, making me want to shrivel up and hide in a hole, and others seem to be appreciative I have something more expensive than my clothes now or something.

At least Shouta seems to give me mercy by pulling me back down in the booth and glaring at them all in such a way that they all stop staring. I’m feeling a bit like a ragdoll at this point.

Hitoshi joins him, making sure they truly stop. The glare combined of those two could probably curdle the blood of All Might himself.

The restaurant seems to grow quiet between all of us.

I decide to escape by using the bathroom. Hizashi didn’t have time to sit back down before it was necessary. “Stay here, it won’t take me long.” They still seem reluctant to let me go alone.

Getting to the bathrooms, I didn’t have to go, just wanted to get out of the stares and whispers for a little bit. Despite the men’s glares, of course there was still going to be gossip of someone in here who looks so out of place.

“Hey, Y/N, be careful around them, alright? They’re pretty strange.” Pipes up the familiar voice of Tadao behind me.

I play dumb. He probably shouldn’t know I know they must have been hit with some kind of quirk. “How do you know? They could just be being cautious since their children are with.”

“I admit, I did watch you a bit at the festival. More so the men you were with when they came. Something about them isn’t... “ He seems to be struggling with figuring out how to explain it. “It’s wrong. I just can’t quite put my finger on what it is. Again, just be careful, alright?”

I just nod and enter the bathroom.

A bit after cooling off, I go back to the dinner table, them all still waiting and chatting about school. Well, Shouta being nearly silent as usual. Hizashi quickly stands up to let me sit between them again. Ugh, I really don’t want to.

Yet I do, just to be kind. The least I can do is sit through this since they went through the effort of such a gift, even though to me it seems highly unnecessary.

Tadao comes with our food not much later with a secret frown on his face. He’s smiling, but I’ve learned him well enough by now it’s worry he has instead of a cheerful personality. It slightly drops to reveal his true emotions when he notices the guys glaring at him yet again. He doesn’t say a word, just drops all of the food off and leaves.

This feels like a really ruined dinner, even though this food is incredibly good. The atmosphere has definitely become shit. I seem to be the only one to notice. Hizashi looks over towards me and gives me another grin, not giving much comfort. What’s worse is every time I stop for a moment and rest my hand on my lap, Shouta seems to try to grab it. It led me to just keeping the utensil for my dinner in my hand.

I’ll have to apologize to Tadao for their behavior tomorrow. Easier said than done since I still can’t exactly tell him who they are. Cursed contract.

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taglist-

@dabi-s-whore, @angelicblackwolf, @fuegy-fuegy

Double fun fact- Did you know slapping someone’s back if they’re choking is actually worse than letting them try to get it out themselves, especially if it’s food? The food can actually get lodged deeper in their throat at the impact. Huh, First Aid is quite interesting.

#Yandere EraserMic household #x reader #yanderes x reader #platonic yandere shinsou x reader #yandere erasermic x reader #yandere shouta aizawa #yandere hizashi yamada #yandere eraserhead #yandere present mic #welcome to the family #yandere poly x reader

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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years

Text

//general dating headcannons//

Characters: Sugawara Koushi/Matsukawa Issei/Miya Osamu

Word Count: 1.5K (~500 a piece)

Warnings: none :)

Notes: my head is so empty. It is just tattoo artist!kuroo rn.

Sugawara Koushi

Ah my beautiful chaotic angel.

Sugawara is pretty bold for the most part, but-

When it came to asking you out? He couldn’t do it. His stomach would get all jittery and he was never able to form sentences.

So, when you made the first move? When you hit on him first? He instantly regained any and all of his confidence.

You thought he was just going to sit there and blush? Oh, honey. How wrong you are.

Sugawara simply smiles at you and flirts right back twice as hard. Knowing that you’re into him as much as he’s into you makes him forget any anxieties he has about approaching you. By the end of the exchange, Sugawara has your number and a date scheduled for Friday night.

It’s a very relaxed dynamic with the two of you.

Sugawara is really big on study dates and if you aren’t the best student, he doesn’t mind breaking it down step by step with you. He’s going to be asking if his explanations make sense after each step and if you’re still lost, don’t worry. Suga would love to try to find a better way to help you. He wants to be a teacher, so why not start practicing now?

He’s going to pester you about taking care of yourself. Please expect regular reminders to drink water and grab a snack, but the same applies to him. If he’s asking you to get a snack, I can assure you that he has unwrapped a granola bar. He tells you to drink some water? Koushu will be downing water as if he hasn’t had a drink in years.

He is a very “we” oriented person. Any problems he wants to get through together. He doesn’t see the point in attacking one another if there’s a bigger issue that needs addressed.

Because of this, you guys never really fight? Sure, there’s some minor spats every now and then, but it’s never anything serious.

Sugawara also doesn’t really get jealous. He has a crazy amount of trust in you and knows that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. But, if you need him to step in, he’s not afraid to be so overwhelmingly nice that whoever might be hitting on you backs off.

Always makes sure that you’re okay ;-; He wants to make sure that you are mentally, physically, and emotionally well at all times.

He’s very open with you and would really like it if you could be open with him. He understands that it’s difficult and not everything is the easiest to say, but he’s there to help you through anything. It’s the two of you versus the issue. Suga doesn’t want you to feel alone.

He’s a super kind boyfriend, but also very fun. He will be showing up at your door in the middle of the night because he’s craving a milkshake and some fresh air. It’s as simple as that.

Sugawara keeps an extra jacket in his club room cubby in case you ever get cold in class, because yes. He is that boyfriend.

10/10 recommend a Koushi in your life.

Matsukawa Issei

THE BEST

Like the absolute best

Issei is just so laid-back that it’s difficult not to have a good time with him.

He likes to have his arm around your waist and he’ll pull you into his side nice and tight, let you relish in his body heat.

He’ll give you a really soft kiss on your temple that makes you smile up at him, love in your eyes, so happy to be with him.

Only for him to straight up jab you in the sides with his fingers. Not hard enough to actually hurt you, but it’s definitely catching you off guard.

Issei loves to make fun of you. I don’t make the rules. He’s going to lovingly call you an idiot when you misspell something simple or make a simple calculation error. If you’re shorter than him, doesn’t even matter how short, he’s going to pat your head and call you ‘short stuff’

But he would never laugh at you for something that you were genuinely insecure about. He’s not that much of an asshole. And if he ever does say something that upsets you?

He’s right there behind you, bringing you flush against his chest, leaning down to whisper every reassurance and every apology, reminding you that every fiber of his being loves you just the way you are.

I would never outright tell you that he gets jealous, but-

The extra bite to his words whenever the conversation is focused on another guy would lead you to believe otherwise.

He refuses to admit that he’s jealous. Matsukawa Issei? Jealous? N o. yes.

One time he took you to work and the two of you took a nap in one of the bigger coffins

This was, of course, only after he hid from you. When you came looking for him, he waited until you were right in front of him before he grabbed you and pulled you towards him.

You screamed loud enough to wake the dead. Luckily, none of his clients had an urge to wake from their eternal slumber in response to your screams.

Nap time with Matsukawa is a must. Whether it be in bed or on the couch or, hell, he’s willing to sleep on the floor, he just wants to be able to stare at you while you fall asleep on his chest.

He really likes playing with your hair? That’s his go-to mindless habit; twisting your hair around his fingers absently.

Not going to lie, he prefers staying home for dates than actually going out. He wouldn’t object if you really wanted to, but sitting on the couch with take-out containers and Netflix is his preferred date night activity.

He doesn’t even ask if you want his jacket. The minute it even gets close to being the slightest bit chilly, he’s putting his jacket around your shoulders.

Loves back hugs and you can expect all of the back hugs from our gorgeous boy

Miya Osamu

It all started because Atsumu told him that he wouldn’t.

Ever since Atsumu had found out about his brother's little crush on you, he had made it his personal mission to tease ‘samu about it every single day.

Atsumu pretty much said that Osamu was too much of a scaredy cat to ask you out and if ‘samu didn’t ask you out by the end of the day, Atsumu would take you out on a date instead.

So, insert Miya Osamu immediately walking towards you without another word to his brother. He stopped you in the hallway and simply asked, “Would you like to go on a date sometime?”

Is he proud that it took his brother threatening him to get him to ask you out? No. Does he regret asking you out? Also no.

Osamu made you food and took you on a picnic for your first date ;-; He would’ve liked to have just invited you over and cooked with you, but Atsumu was home and there isn’t a bigger vibe killer than your twin brother down the hall playing video games with his friends.

It takes a lot for anything to really piss Osamu off. He would never yell at you, but he does have his moments where he gets annoyed and everything just bottles up until he snaps at you.

Instantly feels bad. The way you flinch at his words has his temper fizzling away from him in a moment’s notice. He’ll wrap you in a bone crushing hug, apologizing into your hair, not even giving you a chance to speak, because he’s practically smothering you against his shoulder.

Hahahahaha he’s one of the most jealous people that you will ever meet.

Maybe it’s from growing up with a brother and constantly having to share that made him despise the thought of someone else looking at you now.

Osamu is a pretty big guy which already makes him kind of intimidating, but his deadpan expression and bored words just adds another layer of icing to the cake.

His grip on your hand will tighten until his knuckles are white and you’re squirming in an attempt to pull your hand away because his grip is kind of uncomfortable.

He won’t even say anything. He’ll just stare and make the occasional back-handed remark towards whatever guy had approached you.

He really doesn’t like to cuddle. You can lay your head on his shoulder or his chest, but other than that, he doesn’t really see the appeal of it, and, quite honestly, he’s fine without it.

But, he does like to hold your hand. Like-

Always. If you’re just sitting on the couch together, he wants to hold your hand. You guys are waiting for something to finish up in the oven? He’s holding your hands in his. There’s just something so comforting to him about feeling your hands in his

In conclusion. Hi, I love Miya Osamu and I would like to purchase one ASAP. Thank you.

Taglist: @moncymonce @nicka-nell also hey @nekxrizawa come get your husband.

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sugakookielix · 3 years

Text

Calico: Chapter 3

Summary: It has been two weeks since Mika came to live with Yoongi, and it’s time for her to finally meet his friends

Pairing: CEO Yoongi x Calico hybrid OC.

Mentioned Pairings: Hinted potential Bunny hybrid Jungkook x Calico OC (but not really, this fic is Yoongicentric only). Other implied pairings for the future.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Extremely brief mention of mistreatment/abandonment, occasional swearing

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 5.4k

Calico Masterlist

Credit for header goes to a friend. Original character used in the fic belongs to me. Do not copy, translate, or repost my work onto other sites without my permission. If you find my work has been reposted, please let me know asap.

AN: This update took forever, and I know that a lot of you were waiting for it. As an apology, I have decided to make this chapter longer than my others. For future updates, please let me know if you guys prefer the longer or shorter chapters. I also would like to note (Since some people have asked) that this series started off as a commission to a friend who then decided to hand over character rights and rights to finish the fic as she left the fandom. If you would like to commission a fic such as this one, the link to my commission info can be found in my masterlist. Now, before I continue rambling, hopefully you guys enjoy the update!

It had been just over a week now and Mika seemed to be adjusting perfectly. As promised, Yoongi had taken her shopping and let her grab anything she wanted to help her feel more at home. Not the easiest task, given she would grab anything he looked at or recommended but never anything by herself. Eventually, he had given in and stepped back so she would have no choice but to pick things on her own, replying “If that’s what you want,” whenever she showed him something. It concerned the male a bit that she was so dependent for everything, but he assumed it was a result of her previous ownership and hopefully she’d snap out of it over time. Not that he minded having her cling to him, but it would be extremely tricky to get anything done if Mika always asked his permission to do something as simple as watch TV.

Another recurring issue was the obvious separation anxiety whenever Yoongi had to leave for work. Hoseok had kept his promise and came over every morning to keep an eye on her so Yoongi could leave, but it was clear the hybrid was already attached to him. Mika would whine and cling onto him until he gave her a pat on the head and promised that he would return home before dinner. Otherwise, she had to be pulled away from him physically which caused its own set of problems. Yoongi would never admit it, but it broke his heart a bit to have to leave her while she was still adjusting, but there wasn’t much else he could do. It wasn’t like he could just not show up to work for a week or two to spend time with her, and he wasn’t confident with bringing her to the office yet given how shy she was. All he could really do was promise he would return until he determined if it would be a good idea to start bringing her to work. Hell, he hadn’t even introduced her to his friends yet.

Thankfully, it was Friday, and Yoongi could spend the weekend focused on his new hybrid instead of the new business plan he was working on. His normally organized desk was now cluttered with various documents and files, some of which he hadn’t been able to open yet. It was that time of year where the male found himself flooded with potential changes to lead the business into another successful term and it was honestly overwhelming. Partnership offers, marketing plans, managing finances, looking over reports for all of the departments; it was a lot to handle, and yet here he was forcing as much of it as he could into his shift so he didn’t have to take work home with him. Not when there was a young calico cat waiting at home that deserved his attention on his days off. Especially since weekends were the only time she was actually calm, knowing Yoongi didn’t have to go anywhere without her. Yoongi had about an hour left before he could head home, and he was determined to complete as much of this paperwork as possible, having already worked through his lunch break as well.

A knock at his door pulled the male away from his thoughts, barely looking up from the paper in his hand as he groaned out a forced, “Come in.”

“You’re still working on that?” Yoongi looked up to see none other than Kim Seokjin, dressed and proper as always. If people thought that Yoongi was always professional, they probably hadn’t seen his business manager. Jin always dressed to impress, with well-tailored suits that molded to his form, hair brushed back with not a stray in sight, and the subtle touches of makeup to hide any potential imperfections. It was a very stark contrast to the way the older male acted, and definitely a contrast with the way Yoongi looked at the moment. His jacket discarded on the back of his chair and a few strands of his hair falling out of place from the number of times he’s run his hand through them in the past few hours. Jin took one look at the younger male and sighed, pulling up a chair to the other side of Yoongi's desk. “You’ve been looking at these since this morning,” he said, skimming through some of the papers, “why don’t you take a break before you burn out?”

“I want to get as much done as possible,” Yoongi replied, “it would be nice to not take work home with me again.”

“Because of your new hybrid?” Yoongi only grunted in response, but it was all the confirmation that Jin needed. “When are we going to meet her by the way? It’s been over a week now and everyone's dying to get to know the new member of the family.” Yoongi groaned and set down the document he was holding, pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand. He knew the question was going to pop up sooner or later but now was not the time.

“Don’t you have work you should be doing?” he asked.

“Given it’s the end of the day and you have most of the work, not really. Besides Yoongichi, you look like you could use the distraction.” Yoongi groaned again, but he knew that Jin was right. He probably wasn’t going to finish this in an hour anyway so a break was probably what he needed.

“I don’t know when you’re going to meet her,” he admitted, “she’s really shy right now and still getting used to her new home, crowding her with new faces is probably the last thing she needs.”

“Well she's going to meet us sooner or later,” Jin replied with a shrug, “what's the worst that could happen?”

“A terrified calico cat and my house getting destroyed,” Yoongi said with a deadpan tone. Jin laughed a bit at the youngers' expression before shaking his head.

“You say that as if we are barbarians, I’m sure everything will be fine,” he tried to assure, though his boss didn’t seem too convinced.

“It’s not you I’m worried about, or even Taehyung, since I know you’ll be gentle, it’s the other hybrids I’m worried about. Jungkook is hyper and practically twice her size, Jimin is physically affectionate, and when Namjoon isn’t accidentally breaking everything he can be very intimidating. Does putting them in a room together with a very anxious kitten actually sound like a good idea to you?” Perhaps Yoongi was being overprotective, but he had seen first hand how scared Mika gets by the tiniest of sounds, so her being scared by other hybrids was inevitable. Still, Jin seemed dead set on convincing him that letting them meet her was a good idea.

“Aish, you’re overreacting,” the older chided, “no ones going to pounce on her. She’ll have to meet us at some point, better sooner than later.” Yoongi sighed and shook his head.

“I’ll think about it,” that seemed to be enough to please the older, as he quickly excused himself before leaving Yoongi's office. The blonde sighed and ran his hand through his hair before looking up at the clock, it seemed that their conversation took longer than he thought as it was about time to pack up. His eyes glanced at the scattered papers on his desk before sighing, organizing them into one pile and placing them in the top drawer of his desk, already dreading having to come back to all of that work on Monday. Still, he promised himself that he wouldn’t take work home and would enjoy his weekend, so that’s what he was going to do. With a tired sigh, he stood from his chair and stretched, feeling his back pop a bit from staying in one spot for too long. Flinging his jacket over his shoulder and grabbing his things, he quickly scanned his office to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything before stepping out, locking the door, and making his way down the hall. A few of his workers paused to bow and tell him good evening, but he only gave them a slight bow of acknowledgment in return. Yoongi wasn’t really in the mood for conversation right now, he just wanted to go home and rest.

It was silent when he finally stepped through the door of his apartment, kicking his shoes off and calling out a soft, “I’m home.” Another few seconds of silence passed before Hoseok popped out from the kitchen.

“I was getting hungry so decided to make dinner, hope you don’t mind!” he said with a soft smile. Yoongi smiled back and shook his head.

“Not at all,” he walked over to his friend before pausing and looking around again, “where’s Mika?”

“Taking a nap on the couch,” the younger replied, returning his attention to the stovetop, “she’s been out for a while though so she’ll probably wake up in a few minutes.” Yoongi hummed in acknowledgment and took a seat at the counter. He groaned softly as he rested his elbows on the counter and his head in his hands. “Rough day?” Hoseok asked without looking back.

“Just busy,” The older mumbled, hearing his friend hum in acknowledgment. Hoseok knew better than to pry on work matters, which Yoongi was grateful for. He didn’t want to talk about it, or at least the actual work part of it. The conversation with Jin replayed in his mind, and Yoongi questioned if he should bring the idea up to Hoseok. After all, he knew more about hybrids than any of them, so his advice could be useful. “I spoke with Jin-hyung today,” he said, easily grabbing the younger attention.

“Oh yeah?” Hoseok replied, “what about?”

“Mika,” when he didn’t get a reply, Yoongi took that as a sign to continue, “he said everyone's getting pretty anxious to meet her and that I should introduce them soon.” Hoseok hummed softly in thought, turning off the stove and beginning to fill three plates so they could all eat together.

“What did you tell them?” he asked after another moment.

“I said I wasn’t sure,” Yoongi lifted his head to properly face the younger, “I mean, I know they have to meet her at some point but she’s so shy that I don’t really know if it’s a good idea.”

“I’m guessing that you are asking because you want my advice? I mean, Hyung does have a point that she will have to meet them eventually if you want her to stick around, and she seems to be adjusting well to living with you. I’d say that as long as you are right there with her, and she has a place to escape if she gets scared, then it should be fine.” He didn’t even have to look at Yoongi to know the older still wasn’t convinced, shaking his head as he walked over with two of the plates, having to make a second trip for the third.

“Thanks,” Yoongi said softly, beginning to pick at some of the vegetables as Hoseok took a seat beside him.

“Why don’t you just ask Mika what she thinks?” Hoseok asked, “explain what will happen to her and let her decide when she is comfortable enough to meet them. If you do it on her terms then it will probably have a better outcome.” Yoongi shrugged softly.

“I guess,” as if on cue, he felt two small arms wrap around him from behind, a soft tuft of white and orange fur tickling his cheek as the young cat curled up against him.

“You’re home!” Mika purred, nuzzling her head against Yoongi's neck. Said male chuckled and reached to scratch at her head for a moment.

“Why hello sleepy head,” Yoongi teased, “have a nice nap?” Mika yawned softly and nodded, still half asleep. It was very obvious that she had just woken up; eyes partly closed, hair falling messily in her face, and her tail swaying lazily under the oversized sweater she was wearing. As soft and precious as always, it was a wonder Yoongi hadn’t completely melted in her presence yet. She stayed curled up against Yoongi for a bit longer before he reluctantly pulled away. He was slowly opening up to how physically affectionate she was, but it still made him feel awkward at times, especially when someone else was around. “Why don’t you sit down before dinner gets cold, I need my arms to eat after all.” Mika pouted a bit but nodded and quickly climbed into the chair next to him, not hesitating to dig into her food. Both males laughed at her before returning to their own food, the conversation between them forgotten.

Hoseok left shortly after dinner, patting Yoongi on the shoulder and giving Mika a side hug before bidding them a good night. The pair migrated to the living room shortly after, Yoongi scrolling through the tv channels while Mika distracted herself with one of her toys. The soft jingle of a bell echoed through the room, coming from the soft ball that she was pawing at and pushing around the rug, letting her cat side start to take over. Occasionally, Yoongi would glance down at her and just watch silently, thinking about what Hoseok said. Would she want to meet the others? The more he thought about it, the more it couldn’t hurt to try his luck. “Hey Kitten,” he called softly, “come here for a moment.” Mika perked up and immediately made her way over to the couch, taking a seat beside him. “How would you feel about possibly making new friends?”

“New friends?” Mika asked, cocking her head to the side and giving him a confused look. Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as he nodded.

“I have a few close friends that would love to come and meet you. They own hybrids as well so you could have new playmates. They are a bit hyper though so I wanted to make sure you were ready before inviting them over,” he explained. Mikas' ears twitched slightly and she looked down for a moment. Yoongi frowned when he saw that, immediately thinking the worst.

“What if they don’t like me?” not the response Yoongi was expecting, though he probably should have.

“Of course they’ll like you,” he assured, “I’m sure once you get used to them they’ll love you.” Mika looked up at him to try and see if he was lying. He wasn’t, he was sure that they would like her, the issue was whether or not she would like them. After seeing that he was being honest, the hybrid softly nodded.

“Okay,” she said softly, “when are they coming over?” Yoongi felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I’ll talk to them tonight and see, probably sometime this weekend,” he was already pulling out his phone to text Jin, knowing he would pass the news onto Taehyung for him. Mika watched him for a moment before deciding that she wanted his attention again. A soft huff left the female as she slid closer to Yoongi, gently tugging at his arm and successfully getting his attention.

“Cuddles?” she asked. Yoongi bit his lip to keep from smiling as he lifted his arm so she could snuggle up against him. Mika immediately curled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his waist. The male could feel her purring against him after a few seconds, shaking his head as he let his arm fall around her.

“You’re very clingy you know,” he mused. The response he got was her nuzzling her head against the crook of his neck, mumbling something he couldn’t quite hear. “What was that? I can’t hear you.” He expected her to move and repeat herself, but she made no effort to do so. Her tail brushed against his hand as she relaxed, purring continued as her eyes fluttered shut. Yoongi realized that she was falling asleep and shook his head. If he was being honest, he envied the cat hybrid for being able to fall asleep when and wherever she wanted. He was lucky to get five hours of sleep on any given day with how hectic his schedule was. Yoongi quickly finished up his text conversation and set his phone down. After a brief debate on if he should stay or wake the sleeping hybrid, he carefully wrapped his arms around Mika and stood up. It was a bit of a struggle to lift her since he wasn’t the strongest, but she was thankfully light enough for him to carry to bed without much issue. Yoongi gently set the Calico down on the mattress and placed the blankets over top of her before going and getting ready for bed himself, making sure the doors were cracked a bit so Mika could wake him easily if she needed anything.

After texting Taehyung and Jin, they all decided to come over for dinner the following evening. Hoseok had to work, but he said he would stop by for a bit if he could. Yoongi had spent the day cleaning so his place would be presentable for their guests while Mika ran around and did her own thing. He had also decided to just order takeout for everyone so he didn’t have to spend hours cooking for potentially eight people. Plus, he wanted to avoid going to the store at the moment and leaving Mika alone in the house. She still didn’t have a proper collar, only a standard black one that he doubted was comfortable given how often she picked at it. Yoongi felt bad and tried his best not to take her out in public too often until he could get her one that was of better quality. Since most higher quality collars were more expensive, many people just bought simple ones and only made their hybrid wear it in public. Money wasn’t an issue for Yoongi though, and he knew when the time was right that he would get Mika one that was special.

The sound of knocking snapped Yoongi's attention to the door, apparently catching Mikas as well since she was clinging to him in an instant, hiding behind his slightly larger frame. He knew she was nervous, but hopefully, she would calm down once she saw them. “Relax,” he muttered, reaching behind himself to pat her head softly, “everything will be fine.” That didn’t seem to help much as the calico was still clinging to his arm when he opened the door, revealing Jin and Namjoon.

“I know we’re a bit early, but I was too excited,” Jin said with a smile. Yoongi nodded and opened the door further to let them both in.

“Figured as much,” he replied, closing the door and trying to pry the scared cat from his arm. If it was physically possible, Mika had curled up even more when she saw the new guests. Not that anyone could really blame her though, since there was now a large and intimidating wolf hybrid standing a few meters away from her. As sweet and as clumsy as Namjoon was, he could be very scary upon first glance. He knew it as well since he was actively trying to distance himself from the pair while Jin tried his best to get a look at the young girl. Yoongi had already explained how she might act to them so they would know how to better act around her. At least until she got comfortable with their presence.

Jin bent down a bit so that he was eye level with Mika, waving and giving her a soft smile, “Hi, I’m Jin and this is Namjoon, it’s nice to finally meet you.” She stayed silent for a moment before Yoongi gently nudged her.

“I’m Mika,” she whispered, so quietly that even Yoongi struggled to hear her. Jin couldn’t help but coo a bit at how adorable she was.

“Aren’t you precious, don’t worry, we don’t bite,” he assured. It was easy to notice now Mika's eyes darted to Namjoon for a moment before hesitantly nodding. Still, her grip on Yoongi never loosened and he was starting to worry that she would accidentally rip his sleeve.

“Come on, let’s go sit down in the living room while we wait for everyone else,” he urged, already beginning to walk. He knew Mika would move with him and Jin and Namjoon would follow after so there was no point in waiting. It was another struggle to get Mika to let go so that he could sit down, but they eventually managed to get her to sit without trying to cling to him. Even if she was still curled up into a ball; her ears pressed against her head and her arms wrapped around her legs. Jin remained standing while Namjoon made himself comfortable in another chair. It was barely noticeable at first, but he was doing his best to remain calm so that he would be seen as approachable. With their advanced senses, hybrids could easily pick up scents that went unnoticed by their human companions. It was oftentimes how they picked up on certain emotions or detected threats. Namjoon was also still keeping his distance, wanting the cat hybrid to approach him first. This seemed to work as she relaxed after a few minutes, staring at the wolf curiously. Yoongi and Jin were so caught up in their own conversation that it shocked them when Mika finally spoke up.

“What do wolves do for fun?” she asked, causing the two humans in the room to stop and stare at her. Namjoon thought over it for a moment before looking up at her.

“Well, I can’t speak for all wolves, but I like to read in my free time. I also accompany Jin-hyung to work a lot so I’ll help him there when I can,” he said.

“Namjoon is a pup at heart,” Jin cut in, “don’t let him fool you, he’s also very playful.”

“And clumsy,” Yoongi added.

“Yah! It’s not like I try to break things, it just happens!” Namjoon whined. Yoongi rolled his eyes and chuckled a bit in response. Mika seemed to get bored with this conversation and decided to change the subject.

“Does Jin work with Yoongi?” she asked.

“I do,” the male in question replied, “he is my boss.” Mika looked up at him in awe when he said this.

“Yoongi is really the boss?” the shocked tone in her voice caused the blonde to pout.

“I told you I was the boss the day I met you,” he reminded, “did you not believe me?” Mika blinked up at him for a moment before shaking her head. Jin held a hand to his mouth as he tried not to laugh, Yoongi giving him an unamused expression. “Why exactly would I not be the boss?” he asked.

“Because normally bosses are mean and scary, and you’re too nice!” At this, both Jin and Namjoon burst out laughing, confusing Mika and annoying Yoongi.

“Yoongi? Nice? That’s a first!” Jin teased, causing the other to roll his eyes.

“Oh hush,” he groaned before turning back to his hybrid, “you know that not all bosses are mean right? Hobi is the boss at the shelter, and he isn’t mean.”

“But Hobi is fun and doesn’t wear suits to work every day,” Mika pointed out. This effectively confused Yoongi as he tried to process what exactly she was implying.

“I’m guessing she doesn’t go out much?” Namjoon asked.

“Not yet, no,” Yoongi confirmed, “Obviously I can only speak for the past two weeks, but we haven’t gone out much.” Both Jin and Namjoon nodded, knowing what he was implying and not wanting to bring up a potentially touchy subject. If Mika did realize, she probably didn’t understand properly as she spoke up again.

“I was told hybrids weren’t supposed to go out much,” she said, referring to her previous owner, “the last time I went out we went to the park and then I ended up at the shelter.” Everyone froze at what she said, not knowing what to say. Thankfully, they didn’t have to worry as another loud knock echoed through the house, followed by another series of loud knocks. Yoongi sighed softly and excused himself as he went to answer the door. The second he opened the door, he was almost knocked over from the force of two hybrids pouncing onto him.

“Hyung!” both males shouted, nuzzling against Yoongi who was still trying to regain his balance.

“We missed you,” Jungkook said.

“Yeah yeah, you literally saw me two days ago,” Yoongi muttered, “get off.” He pushed both males off of him as Taehyung stepped inside, giving his friend a huge smile.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t be excited to see you!” Jimin argued.

“Whatever,” Yoongi straightened out his sweater before closing the door, “come on, everyone else is waiting in the living room.” When they entered the room in question, everyone was in the same position they had been left in. Jin was busy laughing at something, likely another one of his awful jokes, Mika was looking at him confused, and Namjoon was trying not to laugh himself. At the sound of footsteps, both hybrids' ears twitched as they turned to the source of the sound. Namjoon waved at the group while Mika gave them all a shy smile.

“Awe,” Taehyung cooed as he dropped to his knees in front of her, “aren’t you adorable? I’m TaeTae!” Mika flinched back a bit but nodded in acknowledgment. At least this time she didn’t immediately try to cower behind Yoongi. Well, that was until Jungkook and Jimin excitedly bound over to her, quickly jumping up on the couch.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook!”

“Hi, I’m Jimin!” both hybrids spoke over each other, their energy immediately startling the smaller feline as she yelped and rolled off the couch. Within seconds, she had dashed past the group and back over to Yoongi, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her head in his shoulder while muttering something about being too loud. Yoongi sighed heavily, ‘not again.’

“Yah!” Jin scolded, “we literally just got her to stop hiding and you had to come in and scare her again!” The two in question pouted a bit and lowered their heads, Jungkooks ears flopping down a bit.

“Sorry Mika,” Taehyung apologized for them.

“They’re just excited,” Namjoon explained calmly, “don’t worry, no one's going to hurt you.” Yoongi wrapped his arms around the girl softly before whispering to her.

“They’re idiots, just ignore them and they’ll calm down eventually.”

“We can still hear you!” Jungkook exclaimed, making the other roll his eyes. Still, the laugh he got from Mika was worth it.

“Come on,” Yoongi encouraged, “we still have a few hours before dinner, why don’t we sit down and you can meet everyone properly.” He waited for confirmation from Mika before he pulled away enough to lead her back to the couch. The others would definitely tease him for being soft later, but he didn’t care.

After a few hours, everyone calmed down enough and Mika actually felt comfortable being around the group. She was still a bit on edge and didn’t engage in conversation very much, but she did occasionally speak up or ask questions. Hoseok had decided to drop by as well which helped a lot, helping push Mika to interact more and not be shy. At one point, she had even allowed Taehyung to pet her, nuzzling into his hand a bit as he ran his fingers through her multicolored hair. They had all just finished dinner and were now winding down to watch a movie and relax before calling it a night. Yoongi, Jin, and Taehyung were tidying up in the kitchen, while the hybrids and Hoseok were playing in the living room. It was really just Jungkook and Jimin though since Mika was too shy to move and Namjoon knew better than to try and wrestle the younger boys.

Mika was on the floor with one of her bells, tossing it around softly as the others did their own thing. Jungkook and Jimin were play fighting a little bit away, having already failed at trying to throw the bell with her. Hoseok was leaning on the back of the couch as he watched, about to say something when he heard his name being called from the kitchen.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, “try not to break anything while I am gone.” He heard a mutual hum of acknowledgment as he walked away, leaving the hybrids alone. Jungkook watched for a moment to make sure he was gone before making his way over to Mika with a smirk. Of course, she noticed, looking up at him with a questioning glance.

“Can I see the bell?” he asked, causing the felines' expression to shift.

“No,” Jungkook pouted a bit, trying to reach for the toy as Mika pulled it back.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s mine and I don’t want to give it to you.”

“That’s mean, I just want to see it.” Mika huffed and held her hand out to show off the bell.

“There, now you see it,” she said with a smirk of her own. Jungkook glanced at her before chuckling. Moving faster than she could react, he snatched the item from her hand and darted back to Jimin on the other side of the room. Mika blinked in shock for a few moments before realizing what just happened, “Hey! That’s not fair!”

“Not my fault you weren’t quick enough,” Jungkook teased, laughing a bit as Mika glared at him, “if you want it so badly, why don’t you come get it?” The catgirl hissed for a moment before crawling over and trying to grab the toy from Jungkook, who only held it higher in response. “Really Jungkook?” she was clearly unamused by whatever game the bunny was trying to play.

“Jungkook-” Jimin tried to interject but the younger only shook his head at him.

“I already told you, if you want it then take it,” he pushed, dangling the toy over Mikas' head. She tried to grab for it again, only for him to pull it away at the last second, causing her to groan. Her tail began to sway behind her as she backed away slightly, ears pressing back against her head. Jimin, who realized what was happening, quickly tried to interject and grab the bell back, only for Jungkook to push him away as well, glancing at him and mouthing ‘Trust me.’ Namjoon had also picked up on what was going on and began to get involved as well.

“Jungkook…” before he could get his full warning out, Mika had pounced onto the bunny hybrid, successfully knocking him back. Jungkook gasped as the wind was knocked out of him, but regained himself before she could grab the bell out of his hands, tossing the item to the side as he flipped their position so he was the one pinning her down. The commotion immediately alerted the attention of those in the kitchen who immediately ran out. Yoongi and Taehyung panicked and immediately tried to run over and break the two up. They were stopped however by Hoseok holding his arm out in front of them.

“The hell Hoseok?” Yoongi hissed, to which the younger shushed him.

“Relax and watch,” Hoseok whispered back. Yoongi huffed but did as he was told, biting at his nail to calm himself down. Sure enough, Mika quickly regained herself and managed to push Jungkook off of her, dashing after the bell once she was free. The bunny was still quicker though and beat her to it, hitting the toy away so they were both chasing after it. After a minute, the sound of laughter filled the room as both hybrids wrestled and chased after the small object, Jimin getting involved shortly after. Both owners immediately relaxed when they noticed this, Hoseok smiling at them proudly. “See, they’re just playing! Nothing to be worried about.” Yoongi couldn’t help but smile at the sight in front of him, happy that they seemed to get along.

“Looks like we’ll be over for playdates a lot more,” Taehyung whispered.

Yoongi's smile widened as he nodded, “Looks like it.”

Twitter: SugaKookieBias

AO3: SugaKookieBias

Tag List: None ATM. If you want to be added to the tag list, comment or message me

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0ffgun · 4 years

Text

Alright so!! I got some requests from people for me to make a post with tips on how I self-study my languages, so here we are! It’s not perfect and everyone studies differently, but I hope some of these tips can help you out.

Personally I study Korean & Thai so this list is aimed at those but a lot of the study tips are pretty general and can be applied to whatever language you’re learning.

I’m an energetic puppy in human form - I simply CANNOT sit still and study for longer than 20 minutes before getting insanely restless and distracted, so I tend to only actually sit down and actively study once a week. If you’re expecting something clever and insightful this is absolutely the opposite of that... I basically trick myself into learning! So here is my silly little guide, let’s go!

General Tips:

★ Get ridiculous with sticky notes. Seriously, do it. If you’re just starting out and don’t know the words for all of those household objects then go ahead and scribble them down on those post its and stick them EVERYWHERE. It might drive your family members/roommates crazy but hey... you’re doing it for a good cause, right?

★ Don’t rely on romanization too much - if your language has its own writing system, focus on that using as much as you can. Romanization seems helpful but in the long run you’ll rely on it too much. It’s better to get familiar with the native writing system asap!

★ Pick out a word/phrase of the day and write it somewhere you’ll see it often. I have a whiteboard in my room that I’ll scribble a few phrases onto and then every time I walk past it, I’ll say them. Or if I’m not gonna be home all day then I write something on my wrist and glance at it throughout the day! This one is the most fun because when people see it they’re like “ooh that looks pretty!” or “ooh does it mean something deep and profound?” when in reality you have the phrase I like cheese written on your arm and it never stops being entertaining. Bonus points if someone native to that language reads it and looks at you like you’re crazy.

★ Say the words in silly voices. It sounds weird but if you’re sitting there repeating words (like the word banana, for example) from an app in a monotone voice you’re definitely less likely to remember it than if you’re yelling out “BANANA!!” in an opera voice or squeaking out “b an a n a” dramatically as you let go of Jack’s hand and let him sink into the ocean.

★ Don’t isolate vocabulary. Learning new words is great, but it’s useless and you’re more likely to forget it if you don’t learn to use it in a sentence.

★ Keep a diary! One of the absolute best ways to practice your writing and improve your skills is to just jot down a few things every now and then. It’ll be rusty and you won’t have much to say at first and will definitely keep needing that dictionary every 2 seconds, but after a few weeks you’ll really notice the difference. Buy pretty pens and stickers to motivate yourself to write in it! It’s also fun to do this around people who can’t speak it as they’ll look at it in awe and you can show off when in actual fact your writing is usually a clumsy scribbled “today I snacks eat and go sleep” but hey what they don’t know can’t hurt and it’s always fun to look like a genius.

★ Talk to your pets in that language. They’re not going to judge you, they actually don’t even care what you say as long as you say it in that entertaining pet voice. I don’t have any friends that speak Korean or Thai so the majority of my speaking practice is hurled at my dog. If you don’t have a pet, then plants or stuffed animals work perfectly too!

★ Listen to language podcasts while you do household chores, heck if you’ve gotta do something boring, might as well yell foreign words while you do it!

★ Change your phone settings to your target language. That way you’re literally forcing yourself to use it, and it becomes second nature and you pick up key words so quickly. Only do it if you know how to get back into your settings and change it back if you have to... or else you’re stuck and lost.

★ Listen to music and sing a lot. Just scream those lyrics! A little off-key screeching never hurt anybody!

★ Get comfortable with numbers. They’re something that is dominant in ALL languages and you’re going to use them on a daily basis. Start with learning how to count to ten and get comfortable with it, and then go higher. Once you’re used to numbers individually, make it harder. I used to get my mum to write out 10 random numbers between 1 to 10,000 in the morning and I would translate them, and then I would do the same for myself in the evening. After a while you get quicker at them and before you know it you don’t have to awkwardly translate them in your head anymore, the numbers are just there ready in your brain.

★ Don’t only watch dramas! Watch more natural stuff too - variety shows, vlogs, instagram lives... anything where people are just chatting like they normally would do. That way you’re subconsciously learning more casual speech patterns and casual language too!

★ Don’t just study at home! Always make sure you have a dictionary handy (like on your phone, for example!) and keep your brain busy while you’re out and about. Buying some groceries? Try to name everything in the fruit and vegetable aisles and if you don’t know the name of something, look it up! You’re more likely to remember vocab this way as your brain has a situation to associate it to.

★ Be mean and make yourself work for things you normally do - check your horoscope on a regular basis? Read it in your new language instead! Want to check out the weather forecast? Do it the hard way.

★ Don’t feel like studying? Not in the mood? Then don’t do it! Instead put on your favourite show in your study language of choice. Not every study session has to be a hard one. Just relax and watch a foreign movie! You have no idea how much your brain picks up without you even noticing, chilling out and watching a drama absolutely counts as studying. Don’t force yourself to study if you’re not feeling it, you’re more likely to learn if you’re having a good time.

Advanced Tips:

★ Get keyboard stickers - if your new language has a different alphabet and you use your laptop to study it a lot then you’re definitely gonna need these! You can buy them SUPER cheap on ebay!

★ Change the language on your Netflix account and get ready to binge watch your faves! If you change your profile language to the one that you’re studying, you’ll notice that a lot of the shows available will now show subtitles in that language too. If you’re pretty advanced then now is probably the time to drop your native subs and start watching with the original subtitles in the original language.. good luck!

★ Play Pokemon. When the latest Pokemon games started coming out with Korean language options I JUMPED at the chance - what better way to study than to just laze around playing video games? This is great for any other kinds of games you can snatch up in your target language too.

★ Read a favourite book in your new language. A common one is Harry Potter! It’s pretty much available in every language at this point and it’s a story you probably already know, which means you never get too lost because you know the plot already.

Resources:

Here are a bunch of apps and things that I use for studying that I find super helpful (and all of these are free!)

Drops (for Thai and Korean - available in both the apple store and the google play store) - I use this app every single day without fail. It’s brilliant for expanding your vocabulary (there are TONS of languages available on there too!) HOWEVER: It only lets you study for 5 minutes and then you have to wait around 9-ish hours before you gain another 5 minutes to work with unless you want to pay for more. But honestly? That’s a good thing. You only need 5 minutes of vocab study before your brain wants to dissolve into mush anyway. I get up, do my morning stuff (usually just involves rolling around and blinking in confusion before grabbing a coffee) and then sit and do 5 minutes of drops, and then by the evening my 5 minutes have replenished and I do it again. Rinse and repeat, and you’ll be learning more words in a week than you even realise!

Duolingo (I use this for Korean, there is currently no Thai option) - This app is fantastic. I don’t recommend it for beginners as it should be used as more of an aid alongside your natural studies, rather than as a study resource itself. This app expects you to already know the basics so I’d dig into this one once you’re starting to get a little comfortable with your language!

Naver Dictionary (for Korean) - I use this every single day! Not only does it help me when I need to find a certain word, it also gives me lists of example sentences which is PERFECT and super helpful when I’m trying to memorize words! And for Thai I use Thai-English Dictionary (I can only find it in the Apple store sadly) and that’s incredibly handy too, I wouldn’t be able to cope without it! I also use this website as a Thai dictionary when I’m not on my iPad!

Talk To Me In Korean (for Korean) - This has been a core element to my Korean studies. They have tons of lessons available on their website, they do regular YouTube videos (usually only 5-10 mins long, perfect for just a mini casual study session!) and they also sell textbooks and do podcasts too. If you learn best from textbooks then these are by far my favourite ones I’ve found, give them a try! They’re not too pricey.

Lingodeer (for Korean) - It’s cute, it’s friendly and it’s helpful!! I learned a bunch of new phrases using this one and it’s perfect for casual study!

Memrise (for Korean) - Fantastic if you’re a beginner! There are tons of languages available on here too. Although, there are only 3 levels in Korean so I got through this one pretty fast.

Eggbun (for Korean) - An app that encourages you to learn using a texting format! I haven’t really used it much but I have friends that have said it’s really useful!

Ling (for Thai and Korean) - This one was pretty good, once again though I wouldn’t use it if you’re a beginner, it’s probably a lot more helpful if you know the basics before you attempt this one! I’ve only used it for Thai but there’s a Korean option you could try checking it out!

Mondly (for Thai and Korean) - This app is cheeky and it wants your money. You get a bunch of free lessons to start with which are GREAT but that’s it. Then it reduces you to one free lesson a day but honestly? Still useful so go ahead and use it. They also have speaking practice available too!

Thai2English (for Thai) - This website is an absolute LIFESAVER!! If I’m ever browsing and come across a sentence that just throws me, I simply copy and paste and this legend of a website just breaks it down for me word for word.

Extra Korean links:

Children’s books in Korean

Learning Korean through fairytales - a textbook used in Korea for children who are learning to read, it’s helpful as a Korean language learner too! You get a little story and then it’ll ask you questions about what you just read.

TOPIK previous exams - these are so good for practice and if you want to get a general idea of what academic level your Korean skills are at.

Learning to type in Hangul - this one was fun and I now type Korean pretty comfortably on my laptop so if you know you’re gonna be typing a lot, I recommend this program!

#the way I learn languages is so weird I am so SORRY #I kinda just implement my language into my daily life and it works perfectly for me... I hope this is helpful to at least ONE person djgsjk #thai resources are sadly not that common but I'll add more if I find them!#language studies

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blueroseblaze · 4 years

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Hey, um do you think that you could do headcanons for Dante, Nero, and Nico and a female s/o who has really bad breakouts on her face,chest, and back and is kinda self conscious? Sfw or nsfw would be greatly appreciated. I’m sorry if this is too much.

Man I gate breakouts. Mine aren’t that bad but i what’s make them worse and end up with scars. And I don’t wear makeup so I just have to deal with them. If that’s what you’re going through I hope it doesn’t affect you too much :)

Dante ❤️

Dante doesn’t have much experience with insecurities at least not physical ones

He really doesn’t care as long as you aren’t horribly maimed. Scars, acne, horns? He loves your cute face all the same

He can be a little dense at times and not take your self consciousness very seriously

He starts out by just nonchalantly recommending talking to Lady who no doubt has some fancy lotions and face washes

He doesn’t mean to be flippant but he really doesn’t care about your acne so it doesn’t occur to him to be more considerate

If you start refusing to leave the house without some sort of covering or try to hide your face or skin in public, or express you’re in physical pain that’s when he finally gets it

He still doesn’t understand why you would be so bothered but he knows it does bother you and that’s all that matters

He tries to learn all he can to help you. At least make you feel better.

He asks if there’s any medication you can take. Anything to spread on your skin to make your acne better, and if there is he’ll commit it to memory so he can grab it whenever you need

He makes sure that you aren’t wanting for any of his affection. He’ll still kiss you and touch you just as much as he did before only now he makes sure you’re aware of it

He doesn’t want you to think he’s repulsed by you, or to think that he actually cares what’s on your face

And if you don’t want to be touched in those areas he’ll respect your wishes.

Because that’s the kind of man he is. He loves you, and will do anything to make you happy and keep you happy. Regardless of any ailments or blemishes

Nero💙

Nero is probably the most sensitive and sympathetic one of the entire dmc gang when it comes to insecurities. Both outside and in

He knows what it’s like to be ashamed of yourself. Both how you feel and of your physical form

He’s the easiest person to tell about your insecurities because you now he’ll take them very seriously

Upfront he makes a point to learn about them and the ways he can help. Meds, treatments, anything he should know to help you he wants to know ASAP

If there’s any remedy or treatment he can help with he will. If you can’t reach a certain spot on your back with lotion or something else he’s right there in an instant. If you run out of medicine he’s running to the pharmacy on his way home

He’s always affirming his love for you both emotionally and physically

He makes a point to let you know he doesn’t love you despite your acne, but he loves you even with it

He doesn’t just say that he doesn’t care about what’s in your face, back, or chest. He shows that he knows it’s a part of you and that he loves every part of you

He kisses every single area your acne flares up no matte show had it gets. He’ll even try and kiss every individual blemish. He calls it “target practice”

It took him a long time to be comfortable with who he was so if you’re not quite ready to fully embrace yourself he won’t force you to

If you don’t feel comfortable going outside without some kind of cover up then he won’t make you nor will he judge you for it

He know how frustrating insecurities and self consciousness can be. How they can keep you from living life to the fullest which is why he’s there to help you in anyway he can

He loves you for you inside and out and if he can’t show that to you every single day than he knows he’s doing something wrong

Nico🤎

Nico is no doubt a bit more crass than other what it comes to support

“What the fuck you got to be insecure about? A few red spots on your face? You think I think you’re any less beautiful cause you got a few zits? Ya idiot.”

You know she means well. It’s just Nico being Nico.

If her words ever really strike a cord and upset your then she’ll lighten up immediately. Total tone shift. She knows when to be sensitive

However her crassness doesn’t stop her from being supportive in other ways

She helps you with makeup and over coverings, whether they be clothes, concealer, or anything else

She’ll sit with you and do face masks, facials, and other beauty stuff. It’s honestly the best date nights, just sitting together in comfy clothes, clean and warm from showers and making funny faces at each other from behind your face masks

Since she crazy she also likes to experiment with those things. Like ordering really weird and niche beauty products from overseas she tries them first though cause she knows how sensitive your skin can be

Like Nero she shows that she loves you with or without breakouts, she’s not gonna stop kissing or cuddling you when you breakout

She’ll give you little pokes and boops and kisses here and there, both to annoy you and to let you know that’s she’s not disgusted by your blemishes

If she’s feeling really playful she’ll call any scars or zits on you demon kisses, (like how birthmarks are angle kisses) and that the more demons you kill the more they heal. You scoff and lightly shove her but it gets a good laugh

“Nico, demon kisses aren’t a thing.”

“Sure they are! Angle kisses are just excuses for birth marks why can’t there be an excuse for zits!?”

I hope you liked this one and I did a good job. My breakouts aren’t terrible but they still make me feel bad and O don’t know how anyone else’s makes them feel so I hope I did well and everyone enjoyed!!

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mytsukkishine · 4 years

Note

prompt where maybe dames is oblivious to the existence of a mythical employee that is always helping smosh in the background and everyone else knows how much she contributes but Damien is always leaving before credit is due or something and then he needs help with something and everyone says to go to her and it’s slightly angsts because maybe she’s been trying to be his friend for a while and he like never knew she existed and then FLUFF

a/n: hello anon. i apologize because this is not what you kind of expected. there is no angst here i’m sorryyy. i just can’t make angst in this scene because Damien is just too cute when clueless :D I hope you will still like this thank you !

a/n2: hello, i made a Kofi account and I hope you would support me! I needed a little help with my financial shts and I hope my fanfics can be a little help.

i hope you can buy me coffee, senpai :3

Summary: Damien needed help with a certain board game and Shayne suggested for him to go to you. However, Damien will not only learn about the board game but how cute that Mythical employee is also.

“And cut!” Matt yelled out with glee and the rest of the crew muttered a small cheer. They had just finished taping another ‘Board AF’ episode and all of them were quite happy with the outcome.

You placed a hand on Matt’s shoulder and gave him a dazzling smile. “Good job,”

“You know Y/N, you’re not from Smosh but here you are, cheering and helping us,” You grinned in reply as Matt patted your head gently. You walked over to the squad, towels in your hand. You neared Shayne and gave him one. He replied with a toothy grin, muttered his thanks.

You went over to Boze, Mari, Courtney, and Damien.

“I need to go, guys,” Damien suddenly said, eyes not even landing on yours as he said his goodbye to the rest. You weren’t even near him when he bolted out, murmuring on how he needed to live stream ASAP.

You pouted.

You have taken a liking to Damien when you have first seen him. At first it was just a simple fangirl moment. He was adorable, funny, and goofy. However, when you spent more time watching their shoots, you can’t help but to develop a liking to him.

He was another reason why you help out the Smosh crew.

However, as happened earlier, you never really had the chance to talk and introduce yourself to Damien, either you are too shy or sometimes, Damien leaves earlier than the rest of the crew.

“Towel?” Courtney asked as she saw you standing still. You nodded and handed her one. “Thanks, Y/N, you’re the best,” She said in her baby voice that you can’t help but to just chuckle.

“No worries,” You just smiled and helped out the rest.

~*~

“Hey man, do the small cubes go to any city before the start of the game?” Damien asked, one hand holding his script and the other his iced coffee. It was 10 in the morning and later on, they would be shooting for another Board AF episode where he, Shayne, Boze, and Wes would be playing Pandemic.

“Actually, this would be my first time playin this game, maybe? I dunno, Wes was the one who recommended this,” Shayne said as they walked towards the studio. Damien pouted, he really wanted to read first about the game, but he knew Wes would be late. He could Google it right now but, he really wanted a personal insight about the game.

Suddenly, Shayne stopped in front of the door, causing Damien to stop and look at him.

“How about you ask Y/N! She suggested that game to Wes.”

The door opened and Matt greeted the two with a smile. “Great timing you guys, can one of you get Y/N? Our Pandemic here is missing some pieces and she said she would bring hers today,”

Damien was still in the dilemma of not knowing the course of the game. He cursed himself for staying a little too late while streaming.

“I still need to do some touch-ups, how about you go Damien and maybe you can ask her about it,”

“Okay, who again?”

Matt’s face was a little surprised as Shayne laughed, “Oh Damien, Y/N! From Mythical. She always helps us in our shoots,”

“Really?”

“Yes,”

There was a moment of silence before one of the producers called out for Matt. He excused himself whilst reminding them of their task of the missing pieces.

“Y/N, the one who brings in the water?”

“I don’t—”

“The cute, always smiling, and Y/H/C?”

“I don’t really know…”

Shayne just sighed, he can’t believe Damien doesn’t know who Y/N was. I mean, event Garett knew who she was. “Okay, you can find her by the Mythical team—I remember she’s from the Sales department.” Shayne patted Damien’s shoulder—and before he could say anything, the blond left him alone.

~*~

“Uhm…” Damien cleared his throat, eyes scanning the busy office for anyone particular. He doesn’t know where to start and he should hurry and look for her because they were about to begin their shoot in less than an hour.

It was a little crowded, but not enough for Damien’s ‘excuse me’ to not be heard.

“Yes?” One girl from a cubicle looked up at him, “How can I help you?”

“Uhm, yes, I’m from Smosh and I’m looking for…”

Damien’s voice was cut off as someone called his name in the sweetest voice he has ever heard.

“Damien! Shayne texted me you needed help for Pandemic,” A girl with the most gorgeous hair and eyes said, gave Damien a small wave as she walked towards the paralyzed Youtuber.

In her hand was the game Pandemic but Damien was too awed to murmur a word.

“Hello,” Your eyes gleamed up at the Youtuber, both of your cheeks pink as you gazed at one another. You were so glad you were able to talk to Damien. You were always looking for a chance to talk to him, start a conversation and maybe get to know him more, but he was always busy or hurrying home.

“Hi?” You said, now a little unsure for the lack of response from him.

“Uhm—” Damien started as he cleared his throat. “Yes, you are Y/N?” He said with a hoarse voice and you giggled. Pushing the Pandemic game towards his chest.

Damien’s eyes were still following you and you thanked yourself internally for curling your eyelashes earlier.

“So what’s your question?” You asked, hands now behind your back as Damien held a little too tight on the board game box.

“Uhm…”

‘Oh god, he’s cute when he’s speechless,’ you thought, a smile still etched on your lips as you waited for Damien’s response.

“Pandemic… beginning,” It’s very cute when he stutter but you have a job to do and you can’t be seen just staring at each other, so you took it upon you to grab his arm and pushed him out of the office. “Let’s discuss this outside. Seems like you’re a little distracted,” You grinned and successfully closed the glass door behind you as you faced Damien.

“I will teach you Pandemic,” You offered, “But-”

“But?” Damien finally answered, cheeks a little more pink than usual.

“Let’s have lunch,”

Silence and then Damien finally smiled.

~*~

Tell me what u think

lovelotss :*

#smosh #Smosh Pit #damien haas #smosh damien #smosh shayne #smosh games #smosh fam #damien haas x reader #damien haas imagine #damien haas imagines #smosh fandom #smosh damien haas

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runefactorynonsense · 3 years

Note

Do you have any tips for someone playing RF1 for the first time? Obv there's references like fogu and freyashawk's walkthrough but I was wondering from the standpoint of someone whose played it several times, what are the most helpful hints you can suggest, mostly in re: to the storyline (I'm not as concerned with rushing marriage at this point).

Hello, anon! <3

First of all, I’m glad you’ve seen the two resources you named! They are definitely some of my favorite refreshers and guides; I encourage anyone else playing the game for the first time to look them up :)

Storyline and gameplay wise... I’ve jotted down anything I can think of, and apologize if there’s anything you already know, but hopefully something here is new and helpful to you or someone else!

Your friendship level doesn’t decrease over time.

I mentioned this in a previous ask, but friendship levels don’t decrease in this game if you don’t talk to someone, or if you don’t give someone a gift. They only decrease if you give disliked gifts. So you don’t have to stress about making absolutely sure to talk to anyone and everyone every single day unless you want to. So there’s a lot of time that you can use for your own goals, instead of socialization!

Item hoard + Make your own weapons.

Probably my #1 tip in any Rune Factory game honestly. If you plan to forge your own weapons - and I encourage you to - it can make the final 3 caves a breeze. There are 8 caves, and by the time I make a weapon with materials from 6 (and sometimes 7), I usually don’t need to make anything else afterward.

Take time every so often, go to a certain cave, target a certain monster or set of rocks, and just collect as much as possible from them. (This also helps level grind your actual level or mining/fighting stats, so, win-win.)

This can easily overload your storage, small or large, so I might plan ahead with what you want. For instance, I abuse the line of Wind Magic based weapons, so I need a lot of wind crystals, aero elements, and bird feathers, which means I can sell a lot of the other elements’ items.

If you craft, keep a stock of silver. I may be an outlier, but I always find I run out of silver way too fucking fast. Gold, too. But not as badly as silver gets.

Buy crafting books.

These can be grabbed from Russell in the library, and they rotate, the same books for every individual weekday. Grabbing them all as soon as possible is so useful when trying to raise crafting stats. Some can get as expensive as 25k - 28k, but they’re a worthwhile one time purchase. These can teach you how to raise your tools beyond what Leo can do, which will get you through chores and raise your levels faster- on top of the weapons I already mentioned.

The magic books at the back shelf are also useful, get them, play with them, see which ones you like! (Medication and Cure are lifesavers.)

Have a WATER or NON-MAGIC based weapon ready for later plot events.

I don’t know how much you care about spoilers, especially if you’ve already looked up those other resources- but. When you get to Danaan Cave, be ready to fight with a weapon with no magic ability, or something that is water based. Trust me. It will save you a lot of headaches. (Don’t be like younger me and try to brute force your way with a wind weapon.)

No magic is also a good strategy to have for the final cave, Greed, as well- but anything of significant power, if you level grind, with you having good accessories, can be viable.

Level grind.

Pretend this is Pokemon and get all your starters to at least level 12 before taking on the first gym. Run through any cave to the boss room, all the machines removed so you can enter the boss room at any time afterward- then go back. I like to go through the cave again, and again, until I can get to the boss room without breaking much of a sweat.

If you’re not pressed for time, grow two or three spots of quick growing crops somewhere in the cave that’s easily accessible, especially if you’re using lower quality sleeping bags. (If you’re going to Melody’s bath house to refresh before bosses, however, this can be ignored~)

Level grinding will also put you at a strength where you can more easily figure out if later troubles are because your defense isn’t high enough, or if there’s a magic weakness you’re not exploiting.

And, well, as mentioned, it nets you lots of items. Monsters can drop weapons or crop seeds or even nutritional things/other chemicals sometimes, and it’s nice to grab what you can get!

Upgrade your house.

2,000 lumber and 200,000 gold is a lot, but honest to god it is so worth it. This allows you to make food that actually helps your HP and RP, allows you to make NICE medicines for pennies, allows you to craft weapons and accessories more powerful than anyone should have any right to be.

And you finally get the blessed, larger storage units, that Ivan had no reason not to give you sooner.

You can easily get half this amount by participating in the summer’s Treasure Hunt Festival (summer 26), so I encourage doing it either year 1 or year 2 if need be~ (A mix of teleport/return, the speed of a Silver Wolf, and angling yourself while running can net you a fast time.)

Take advantage of the broken item pricing coding to make gold.

In the first RF game, an item’s price is multiplied by its level, not raised by a fraction based on its level. This can be particularly seen in mining, especially since rocks respawn every time you leave a cave, not once every morning.

Say you go to Toros Cave and mine yourself some rather common, 700 g base price Sapphires. A level 2 sapphire is worth 1,400. Level 3, 2,100. And so on. Upgrade your hammer, go to Toros, mine rocks in the first few rooms, and that one room where you loop around to the right and find yourself above the machine that spawns the slimes- a good day mining can net you a good haul of higher level sapphire and silver, perfect to stuff your pockets and ruin the local economy with.

I recommend doing that any time you need money. It’s easier, and much faster, than crops. However, using dungeons year round to raise crops to level 10 is also a super viable strategy if you want to use the farming mechanics!

Don’t feel like you have to rush!

Although the 5th cave - Misty Bloom - is landlocked, inaccessible except for in winter, it’s not the end of the world if you miss the chance to beat that cave in your first year! It will slow you down, sure, since you then have to loop the year all the way back around- but hey. You can get your farming level up, which means you won’t waste as much energy when tilling squares to get later cave permits. You can use the time to mine in the first four caves and raise that skill, which will also give you a lot of useful ore to craft with, give to Leo, or sell. You can work on upgrading your house. Or catching monsters to strengthen for either their products or to be cave companions. Or getting to know everyone in town so you can witness their side events. Or maybe you’ll decide to get married in the meantime, iiiiif you don’t have your eye on Lynette.

Or, if you get really tired, you can sleep through days and get to winter asap, it’s your playthrough, do what you feel you need to do! <3 Have fun, figure out what works for you, and so on~

If anyone else has any tips for anon, I’d love to hear them myself, as well! Best of luck, and enjoy the storyline!

#answered ask #kind anon #long post #It feels good to dig out all of this silly knowledge #Hopefully this helps out someone!#Apologies for it being so long-- tagged it *long post* in case anyone has that blacklisted

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rainofaugustsith · 4 years

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Thank you very much for the tag @vespertine-legacy! I can’t remember who has been tagged so @cyrraluu @shabre-legacy @shimmersing @tishinada @abbienormal @mimabeann @dreamy04 @soulparticle @levelofdepth NO PRESSURE, only if you want to! Viri (you know she’s always first because she is)

-CLOTHING MAKES THE WOMAN-

Do their bra and panties match consistently? Yes | No | Not applicable (and in Viri’s case they are usually completely clashing neon orange or stripes or smiley faces)

Do they wash their makeup off before going to bed? Yes | No | Sometimes | Doesn’t wear makeup

Do they wear socks? Yes | No | Sometimes (and just like the underwear, they are usually the most garish yet comfortable socks she can find. After Viri lost her foot, Lana tried to cheer her up by knitting her new socks that were ridiculously bright and would fit her cybernetic foot)

What do they usually wear to bed? Nothing | Undergarments | Pyjamas | Pyjama pants | Tomorrow’s clothes (Viri does like comfortable pajamas but they usually end up being worn to lounge around the house. By the time she actually goes to bed she’s *cough* taken them off)

Their clothes are usually… Stained | Raggedy | Like new | Well worn | Depends (If Viri loves a specific piece of clothing she will wear it until it’s rags, but she also is very sharply dressed when she is working and has to make an impression)

-FINANCES? LET’S SEE-

How do they handle their bills? Sets aside bill money each check | Pays them right away | Pays them last minute | They’re frequently overdue | Paying? Bills? What a concept. (Viri doesn’t like loose ends or owing anything to anyone, so if something’s due she will pay it ASAP if she is able)

Most likely to pay with? Raw currency (or barter) | Check/paper trail | Debit | Credit (the Star Wars equivalent of transfering credits electronically. If she pays by credit she will try to pay it off immediately)

-AN APPLE A DAY-

How often do they get exercise? Frequently, from work | Frequently, from a hobby | Somewhat, from a hobby | Somewhat, from work | Never (Viri spends hours every day exercising, conditioning, sparring and working on forms. She also dances for fun. And there’s that exercise she and Lana always have together...*cough*)

Do they drink? Always | Often | Somewhat | On rare occasions | Never (Viri can get drunk just *looking* at a bottle, it seems, so she completely avoids it)

Do they do drugs of any kind? Yes | Sometimes | No

Do they smoke? Yes | Sometimes | No

-EDUCATION MATTERS-

What education have they reached? None | Elementary/Primary | Middle/Secondary | High/Tertiary | College, bachelors | College, masters | College, PhD | GDA | Workforce training | (Viri went to Imperial schools and the Sith Academy from the time she was a small child, and her parents also educated her in their fields of science and math. The Sith sent her to get a degree at the University of Corellia because she was so strong in some disciplines of science. She also reads and seeks out knowledge from anyone who will teach her).

Do they frequently learn new skills? Yes | On occasion | Only as needed | Not usually (as noted above if you have something new you can show Viri, she’s all ears. Tying knots, learning sabacc tricks, silly jokes, new Force skills, slang she doesn’t know in other languages...anything)

-CLOTHING MAKES THE WOMAN-

Do their bra and panties match consistently? Yes | No | Not applicable (the Jedi ones matched, but they were drab. Now she wears whatever she likes and it’s usually racy)

Do they wash their makeup off before going to bed? Yes | No | Sometimes | Doesn’t wear makeup

Do they wear socks? Yes | No | Sometimes

What do they usually wear to bed? Nothing | Undergarments | Pyjamas | Pyjama pants | Tomorrow’s clothes (Ror did not have her own room until she was assigned her ship at the beginning of the class story. Once she did, she quickly learned that if she walked around naked or topless, people wouldn’t barge into her space anymore. She’s kept that up because it’s more comfortable and ahem, if she’s not sleeping alone there’s no need for clothes...

Their clothes are usually… Stained | Raggedy | Like new | Well worn | Depends

-FINANCES? LET’S SEE-

How do they handle their bills? Sets aside bill money each check | Pays them right away | Pays them last minute | They’re frequently overdue | Paying? Bills? What a concept. (Ror tries to avoid even getting a bill. When she was a Jedi she paid everything up front so the Jedi Order wouldn't find out and there wouldn't be a paper/cyber trail. That practice has stayed with her even though she's no longer a Jedi and the Alliance is much more chill.)

Most likely to pay with? Raw currency (or barter) | Check/paper trail | Debit | Credit (Ror never had anything other than raw currency as a Jedi and she had to hide it, since the Jedi aren't supposed to own things. She still has not figured out how to use an account, and both Somminick Timmns and the Alliance have agreed to give her cash.

-AN APPLE A DAY-

How often do they get exercise? Frequently, from work | Frequently, from a hobby | Somewhat, from a hobby | Somewhat, from work | Never (There are some very enjoyable hobbies Ror partakes in...)

Do they drink? Always | Often | Somewhat | On rare occasions | Never (Ror enjoys cantinas. It’s another thing the Jedi banned for her and she feels like it’s an extra ‘fuck you’ to enjoy wine, women and song.

Do they do drugs of any kind? Yes | Sometimes | No

Do they smoke? Yes | Sometimes | No

-EDUCATION MATTERS-

What education have they reached? None | Elementary/Primary | Middle/Secondary | High/Tertiary | College, bachelors | College, masters | College, PhD | GDA | Workforce training | I don’t know | Other (Since the Jedi grabbed her as a young child she's never been to school other than the Jedi Academy. That gave her a high literacy level and a strong handle on the Republic's government and perspective of history, but not much else. Since leaving the Jedi she's tried to read and learn on her own.)

Do they frequently learn new skills? Yes | On occasion | Only as needed | Not usually (Ror is usually very prickly to strangers and doesn’t make friends easily, but if you offer to teach her something or help her learn, you can often reach her and gain her friendship)

-CLOTHING MAKES THE WOMAN-

Do their bra and panties match consistently? Yes | No | Not applicable (sometimes)

Do they wash their makeup off before going to bed? Yes | No | Sometimes | Doesn’t wear makeup

Do they wear socks? Yes | No | Sometimes

What do they usually wear to bed? Nothing | Undergarments | Pyjamas | Pyjama pants | Tomorrow’s clothes

Their clothes are usually… Stained | Raggedy | Like new | Well worn | Depends (Iki lives in the Star Wars equivalent of well-worn jeans and T-shirts)

-FINANCES? LET’S SEE-

How do they handle their bills? Sets aside bill money each check | Pays them right away | Pays them last minute | They’re frequently overdue | Paying? Bills? What a concept. (Ikina and Ashara run their own tea house, and they’re acutely aware that they have to cover costs so they budget as closely as they can)

Most likely to pay with? Raw currency (or barter) | Check/paper trail | Debit | Credit

-AN APPLE A DAY-

How often do they get exercise? Frequently, from work | Frequently, from a hobby | Somewhat, from a hobby | Somewhat, from work | Never (Ikina likes to take long walks. As a slicer she’s at a desk a lot; as an owner of a tea house she runs around a bit more)

Do they drink? Always | Often | Somewhat | On rare occasions | Never

Do they do drugs of any kind? Yes | Sometimes | No

Do they smoke? Yes | Sometimes | No

-EDUCATION MATTERS-

Do they frequently learn new skills? Yes | On occasion | Only as needed | Not usually

#swtor #Viridana Dragoi #OC: Rorjhana #OC: Ror #OC: Ikina

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sevenringsblingbling · 5 years

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Sienna and Colson part 3

Word count: 5,921 (Damn Daniel!)

I sat there in shock reading Jade’s message. How does one respond to something like that? This is the same woman who kissed me and saw my bare tits not only that but she complimented them! How will I face her now? “It's Jade isn't it?” Colson asked with a smirk on his face. “Yeah.” I sighed. “What the fuck do I say?” I showed him the message. He grabbed the phone out of my hand and started typing. I was worried about what he would say. He was smiling the whole time. “Babe don't embarrass me. She's gonna think that’s shit I'm saying!” I tried to grab the phone from him, but he just moved around keeping me from getting it. “Girl after the crazy shit that went down last night, she probably feels embarrassed too.” He's right she's probably is feeling awkward too. Besides we were all consenting adults. I could handle this like a big girl. I think. He finally slide my phone over. I braced myself.

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*Later that evening*

“This steak tho. It's awesome. I'm not really keen on red meat but this hits.” We were sitting down at some fancy French restaurant. Finally I had gotten what I'd been asking for since we got here. No It wasn't the original place I had wanted, that place was booked solid but right across the street from it was this. The food was pretty good, hell it should be at these prices. Can you believe it a hundred and fifty-two dollars for a steak! That's not even including any sides but seeing as how it was our last night in Vegas might as well do it big. “Here let me try a piece.” He took the knife and cut off a huge slice of steak from my plate. As much as I wanted to, I didn't say anything after all he was paying for the whole thing. I should be grateful to have a man such as him. He’s got a lot of fucking money, a poppin ass career, he’s sexy, and has a big dick. I'm a lucky bitch to even be in his presence.

I tapped his hand on the table. “Thanks again for that thing earlier.” He raised his brow and smirked “Babe you don't have to thank me. You can suck me off whenever you want.” “Not the thing we did in the shower.” I smiled. “I’m talking about the thing with Jade.” I grabbed my wine glass off the table. He put his utensils down on the table and looked at me. “Oh, my bad. No problem. I've known Jade for a while now. She’s understanding. Besides she’s got to be to be Marco’s assistant.” We both laughed. I took a deep breath. “Yeah babe. I'm still fucking nervous about facing her but I'm just glad she was cool about the whole thing.” I pushed the steak around on my plate. “Babe did she ever mention her and Marco being fuck buddies? That seems odd.” “What do you mean?” He asked. “I mean they both work together it's got to be weird sleeping with the same person you work for. She made it seem like she hated working for him. Why sleep with someone you hate?” He shrugged his shoulders. “Well that's they business.” Turning his attention to his cell phone.

When Colson and I first started linking up he would always go into these rants about the industry and industry etiquette. He said that I was fresh meat and that he knew what was best for me. “These fuckers are vultures just waiting to pick at your flesh. Trying to see what they can get from you all the while pretending to be your friend. A lot of fake shit.” As things started to progress in our relationship Colson would give me a list of rules to follow when I was with him. One of the rules that he would repeat often was the ‘myb.’ Minding your business. I’d been to a handful of events and so far I hadn’t seen anything too crazy. Men would approach me and try their best pick up line. When I would reject their advances, sometimes they’d offer me drugs, camera time, basically anything to get me to say yes.

At first, I remember thinking ‘Wow these rich guys are so persistent.’ I’d left these events feeling flattered that these men had taken a liking to me. They’d must had seen something in me that I didn't see in myself. I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the room nor was I a celebrity, so I figured that maybe I did have a certain ‘it factor’. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't have stepped out on Colson, but it felt nice to know that I could still turn heads. “Don't feel special. Like I told you your fresh meat. Any woman riding out with me ain't gonna be no weak bitch. These idiots ain’t got love for you. Remember that.” The night he said that I felt all the air leave my chest. So I wasn't special? Did I not turn heads? That insecure little girl inside of me had crept up again trying to takeover but then I remembered simply that Colson was a vet in the game. He knew the truth and was only trying to protect me.

By no means was he ‘perfect’, yes he’s got a temper along with some anger issues but that's just because being in the industry can change people and most of the time it's for the worst. Also considering how his childhood was I shouldn't hold it against him. Colson was able to accept me and all my flaws why shouldn't I be willing to go the extra distance for him. I don't want to make him sound all bad. We’ve had some happy moments together. Sometimes where we actually agreed on a few things. “And so, then I told the guy I wasn’t doing no fucking club appearance for some wack ass twenty-five. I need at least forty-five. Like bruh I've got a family to take care of. I need all my fucking money.” I hadn't noticed Colson was talking this whole time. I had been so wrapped up in my own thoughts. “Right babe.” I responded hoping he wouldn't notice that my mind had wandered off. He shook his head. “You wouldn't understand. This industry shit is all fucked.” I always tried to comfort him as best I could. “Babe don’t worry everything will be taken care of.” Fuck! Sienna is that the best you could come up with. I could sense he was getting agitated. “Hey how about we order a yummy desert?” I asked the waiter for a menu to change the subject and lighten the mood. “Well let's see here.” I looked over it. “The tiramisu looks good. They've got your favorite babe, Cheesecake.”

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Once we got in the car to go back to the hotel babe didn't say much to me. He blasted music from the stereo system while smoking. Which I didn't mind much it gave me time to think about us. Think about our ‘relationship’ I'm not even sure if that’s what I could call it. I had been introduced to everyone as his ‘girl’ and a lot of people didn't even know my fucking name less I spoke up and told them. There were no formal introductions, no first name last name oh you two are so cute how’d you meet situations. “You wanna hit this?” he held out the joint to me. I took it and inhaled as far as my lungs could take which ended in a coughing fit. “You alright?” I rolled down the window a bit and nodded. Often I had wondered just what he really thought of me.

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Two a.m.

Sienna rolled around on the bed after a restless few hours of sleep. She awoke in a pitch-black room. Colson’s side of the bed was empty. No surprise to Sienna Colson rarely slept and if he did it was only for a couple of hours. She called out his name but of course no answer. She thought perhaps he’s just in some other part of the place and can't hear her. She got up to retrieve her cell off the chair and laid back down. Zero missed calls. Zero text messages. Nothing new about that. Sienna didn't have much friends and the ‘girlfriends’ she thought she had made weren't contacting her anymore for whatever reason. Colson told her that would happen. That sooner or later the women she had become cool with would distance themselves. Something about them being green. She didn't really understand it, but he usually was right about stuff like this, so she accepted it.

She had checked her social media just to see what was going on in the world. What butt hurt celeb would be going off on a troll in their comment section. What/who was trending. What fashions were trendy now. Things of that nature. In her recommendations she stumbled across a post that read ‘MGK gets lit at a Vegas nightclub.’ It had been posted 45 minutes ago. As she slid through the photos there were pictures of him arriving, inside the club, drinking and dancing, standing on top of the counter top rapping his songs. Giving a whole live performance while she was tossing and turning half the night.

“Is he serious?” I screamed into my phone hoping that somehow this was fake and that he really wasn’t at the club on our very last fucking night here! I needed a drink asap, Flung the fridge door open and picked up a random bottle of wine and drank it straight out the bottle. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Okay think bitch. I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. I didn't call because I knew he wouldn't answer. I didn't text because I know my man, he’s probably high out of his mind flirting with every dress in the building. I had no choice but to wait for him to come home...if he came home at all. I turned on the tv in hopes it would distract me. I channel surfed for a bit and settled on the cartoon network. A little while later my phone lit up with a text message from no other than Ms. Jade. I rolled my eyes. She was the last person I wanted to talk to. I was already pissed at Colson and this bitch was going to get the wrath of how I'm feeling right now if she didn't back off! Besides what the fuck could she possibly want to talk to me about this late at night. Jade: Hey hon. Hope you’re feeling better food poisoning is no joke :( anyways your guy is too lit lol rn. But don’t worry he’s getting to you in one piece.

The fuck? Did this fool really lie and tell her I had food poisoning. All I could do was shake my head. Truly I had no one else to blame but myself. I chose to be in a relationship with a fucking rap artist and this was the price to pay. I paced back and forth in the living room laughing while drinking my wine. “This shit is not what I signed up for. I swear I can’t pick a good man to save my life.” I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions just then I heard the key card ding and a voice other than Colson’s on the other side of the door. Dressed in a bra and boy shorts I ran into the bedroom and threw on one of his t-shirts to cover my body. The door was opened. I just sort of stood there not sure what to expect. There was a big guy helping Colson through the door. “Ayy hey baby.” His words slurring waving at me. I rolled my eyes. The big guy helped Colson over to the couch. “Alright bro you’re home now.” He shook his head. “Need to stop all that drinking man. I can't keep holding up your tall ass every time you get drunk. I'm out.” As he was walking toward the door, I stopped him. “Hi. look, thanks for getting him home safe. Wait something for your trouble.” He put his hands up in protest. “Nope I'm doing this. Don't try and stop me.” He put his hands down. I walked over to Colson and dug in his pants pocket pulling out a wad of loose bills and threw it on the coffee table. I figure he’s drunk and high it's not like he’ll remember any of this shit tomorrow, besides he owes this guy for getting him home on one piece. A fifty-dollar bill won’t break the bank. I handed it to him and sighed. “Looks like I'll have my hands full tonight. Thanks again.” He took the crisp bill and placed it in his pants pocket. “Oh no, thank you ma'am. This fifty going towards some flowers for my wife. I should've been home by now.” we said our goodnight and I shut the door behind him.

I looked over at Colson slumped over on the couch. I was so upset at this man I should leave his ass just like this and go back to bed. But deep down I would've felt terrible doing him like that. Sucking my teeth, I walked toward him, knelt down and pulled his boots off. “I'm fucked right now.” He laughed. “I know. You sneaked off to the club and had fun, didn’t you?” He nodded. Inside I was boiling but I kept a calm demeanor. I helped him take his jacket off and put it on the kitchen chair. I’d spotted my to-go container from earlier on the counter. Perhaps a little food would sober him up. “Okay babe open.” I tried to feed him some of the leftover fried rice, but it just ended up falling on the couch and carpet. So much for that idea. “Damn baby your skin. Its fucking soft.” His head was in my lap touching my thigh. Compliments won’t help you Colson. I rubbed his head trying to figure out how the fuck I was going to get this man in bed without breaking my back. I couldn’t let his tall ass sleep in the couch. It would've been too small for him and he already complains about neck problems. “Babe lets go to the bedroom.” I stood up and pulled him towards me trying to help him up. He stumbled off the couch. “Colson don't fall on me! Please baby be careful.” I was deathly afraid this big tall ass man would fall on top of a little five-foot one Sienna and I wouldn't have been able to lift him off me.

The time seemed to drag on as I helped him through the hall. I had to stop every couple of seconds to catch my breath and readjust. Colson may seem light but trust me he weighs a hell of a lot more than I do. I wasn't used to this. When we got to the bedroom I sat him up on the edge of the bed. I unbuckled his belt to get his pants off. “Oh shit. I'm finna get a blow.” He looked at me smiling. “No baby I'm trying to help you get comfortable. Help me I'm struggling.” He pulled his pants down to the knee waiting for me to do something. Shaking my head. I swear men are different creatures. I pulled his pants through his legs leaving them on the rug. He fell back on the bed, eyes closing. I straddled him and unbuttoned his shirt. He grabbed my ass rubbing it. I felt that big ass dick starting to stir in his boxers. “Baby when can I fuck this juicy ass. You've been holding out for too long.” My flesh was weak, but I was still pissed. Seriously now is not the time to try and get me to have anal. I put my hands on his chest. “No babe. Stop.” I looked at the clock on the nightstand. “Its four in the morning. We sleep now.” He sighed. “That's the perfect time to do the freakiest shit.” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah sure it is. Look baby it's late. I'm tired. Sleep honey.” Kissing him of the forehead I lifted off him and pulled the comforter on top of us hoping to get a few more hours of sleep.

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Periodically he’d get up and go to the bathroom, sleep for a bit, hold me, watch tv, walk out onto the balcony. I was certain his hangover was creeping up on him. Shit that's what he gets for sneaking out to the club and drinking like a fish! I mean I kind of felt sorry for him every time he held me. But then I remembered he lied about me to Jade telling her I had food poisoning. Really Colson that's the best lie you could have come up with? Honestly, I wasn't sure how to get my emotions in check. And to top it all off he didn't even apologies last night to me or that kind gentleman that got him home safely.

By eight o’clock I was up and ready to take on the day. I had taken my shower got dressed in some black leggings and a Fendi crop top (courtesy of babe) and was cooking some breakfast in the kitchen. Colson was still in bed sleeping. He’d had a rough few hours fighting that hangover. He told me the worst part of it was the nausea, so I had poured him a cup of orange juice and picked up one of his joints laying around to take it to him. I walked over to his side of the bed and sat down putting the cup on the nightstand. “Goodmorning baby.” I said with a cheerfulness in my voice. His eyes squinted open. “Ah fuck. Close the fucking blinds baby, too much fucking light.” I shook my head and got up to close the blinds and shut the door making the room dark inside. I sat back down on the bed. “Are you okay?” I asked him. “Look at me, does it look like I'm okay. My stomach feels sick and don't talk so loud.” But sir you're yelling but whatever.

Okay so someone definitely has an attitude this morning. “So I got you some orange juice. Actually, I made breakfast nothing too heavy just some fried egg, toast, and oatmeal.” He thought about it for a minute. “I'll take the toast, and can you get me that bottle of iced coffee out the fridge.” I simply nodded and went to get it. When I got back, we just continued our conversation. “I found this joint laying around. I figured it might help with the nausea.” I hit it up with the lighter that was on the floor and passed it to him. “Thanks babe,” He tongue kissed me then planted another on my chin and forehead. “That’s why I keep yo pretty ass around. You always know what daddy needs." I flicked my hair back. “Yeah whatever, you say that to all ya lil hoes.” He was such a player and could sweet talk any woman he met. I knew that because well first he did it to me and second, he flirted with women when he was out with me, so I had witnessed this first hand. His charming, smooth talking ass got on my nerves I swear. “Yeah I do but you're my favorite hoe.” He smiled at me blowing smoke out his mouth. I gave him the finger and snatched the joint out his hand. We smoked in the room talking and laughing for another twenty minutes before he got up out the bed to take a shower. “Our flight is at seven. I know that's late as fuck but I don’t have a show on Monday so shit.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Okay babe I'm gonna get my shit packed and we’ll figure out something.”

I'd realized that most of our shit was in the living room all sprawled out everywhere. Clothes on the floor, the coffee table had jars of weed and rolling papers all over it. The kitchen counter had liquor bottles and shot glasses galore. Looking around you’d think our vacay was lit and honestly looking back on everything that took place it really was though. I had cleaned up everything and had my stuff packed up an hour later. Colson was dressed and feeling much better than how he was earlier. He played music from the sound bar while he smoked some more. I joined him on the balcony outside. It was a sunny day but there was a nice breeze hitting our skin. “You’re feeling better I see.” He was dressed in a black merch shirt and a pair of grey joggers looking like a mutha fucking snack.

“Yeah I'm at a eighty percent.” He yawned and threw his arms up to stretch. “Only a eighty baby?” I questioned. “Yeah my fuckin head just feels clouded can't think straight.” Well that’s what happens when you go out to party and drink like a fish and lie and say I have food poisoning, I just smiled. “Poor baby. Well I gotta go lay down seeing as how I have food poisoning and all.” I glanced at him and got up from the table. He grabbed my arm in attempt to stop me. “Whoa baby, I need your help with something.” He looked me up and down gawking. “Oh please! Lotion is in the bathroom. I'm sure the hub has a nice selection of videos for you to choose from.” “Why would I do that when I’ve got a real live fucking mermaid in front of me.” He pulled me onto his lap. I could feel his haed dick. I sucked my teeth. Damn him and his charming good looks. “Please baby. Just help me feel better.” He looked at me with those beautiful eyes. How could I deny him in this state?

I dropped down to my knees and began pulling at his joggers freeing that big juicy dick from its confines. It slapped me in the face, but I liked it so much. I felt like a total slut, but it was worth it. I looked up at him and spit on his dick head twirling my tongue in all that pre-cum and saliva. He threw his head back in ecstasy. “Oh fuck. You dirty little slut.” I smiled back up at him and took that dick so deep my throat his balls were almost touching my chin. I pulled my top up exposing my breast. My nipples were hard, the cool air touching them just made them even more sensitive. I deep throated him while pinching my nipples. He looked down at me in disbelief at how deep I was taking his meat. I had practiced with bananas and popsicles for a while now so I'm just glad it was finally paying off.

“You like that daddy?” i jacked his dick with both hands leaving a trail of spit from my mouth to that dick. He moaned. “God damn baby yes. Play with that pussy while you suck me.” I nodded and put my right hand in my leggings, my cunt was already soaking wet. Sucking dick really turns me on. I put two fingers inside myself and went to town. He reached down to play with my nipples while I had my mouth full of his cock gagging on it and loving it with my throat. “Baby that mouth is incredible.” He grunted out. Next thing I know he pulled me up and tongue kissed me then went down my neck whispering dirty things in my ear. “You are such a nasty little girl.” Kiss. “That pussy is mine.” Kiss. “I own you.” Kiss. “Soon I'm going to fuck that ass too. Just think, when you're on your period you can please me and keep me satisfied,” Kiss. “And these tits...” He left a trail of kisses from my neck to my hard nipples and started sucking and biting them. Alternating from the left to right.

My breath quickened. I just realized how much I loved my nipples being sucked, such a turn on. He went to biting them harder it did hurt but the pleasure was amazing. I couldn't wait any longer I needed to be fucked hard and deep. My pussy was throbbing so hard I could feel my heartbeat down there. “Please fuck me.” I moaned. He put his hand in my panties rubbing my slit gently putting two fingers inside. “You’ve got the wettest cunt. I swear.” He was working those fingers inside me. I could hear my wetness sounding like someone stirring macaroni. I whined and moaned. It felt so fucking good to have something buried in my cunt. “Taste yourself.” When he pulled those fingers out of my panties, they were coated with my juices. It was so thick and creamy. I gladly sucked on them tasting myself. “Oh fuck baby what's that pussy taste like? Hmm tell me.”

He was so amazed by me sucking those fingers I could tell my man was in pure bliss. “Mmm it tastes sweet daddy.” All this teasing was just turning me on even more I just wanted to be fucked already. “Pleasee fuck me.” I bit my lip and put a pleading look on my face. At this point was just waiting to be penetrated no matter what hole he wanted to use. I just needed to be filled up. I started playing with my pussy in front of him and licking my own juices off. He just watched me in disbelief, I'm sure he couldn't believe I was being this nasty for him outside on a hotel balcony thirty-seven floors up. Something in his eyes changed suddenly they got dark. He balled up his fist and continued watching me. I was about to suck his dick again when he picked me up and carried me into the bedroom and threw me down on the bed hard. “You little teasing bitch, I'll teach you a lesson.” I felt scared. I wasn't sure what he was going to do to me. What he was going to do to my body. He yanked my leggings and panties off in one swift motion. I sat up on my elbows to get a good view of what was going on. He spread my legs open exposing my pussy to his eyes. “I’m gonna fuck your face and you’re going to like it.” He pulled the rest of his clothes off. I smirked up at him playing with my tits. I was so ready for this.

“Wait come lay across my lap first. Crawl over to me and keep those sexy ass heels on.” I did as I was told feeling so anxious about what was going to happen next. I laid there in silence hoping he would do something to ease the aching between my legs. “I don't want you to make a sound. You’ve been such a tease with that little slut body.” He spread my ass cheeks open so he could get a good look at my pussy and asshole.“Hmm you're really fucking wet.” His thumb glided over my clit rubbing it in circles then he went up to my asshole putting my juices on it. I tensed up. “Relax baby. I’ve got something special for you.” I couldn't see what was going on behind me, but I heard what sounded like a plastic bag and something clanking with the rings in his finger. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would jump out my chest. Colson has never fully penetrated my asshole with anything besides his finger and honestly, I wasn't sure if it would hurt or not. I had watched anal porn and thought it was erotic but to actually put something back there I was too nervous.

“What's going on?” I asked knowing fully well what was about to take place. “Shh calm down.” He rubbed my back. “You trust me Sienna?” Of course I trust you but this was all happening too soon. Vaginal is one thing but my ass was sacred. “Yes baby but I'm nervous, this feels like losing my virginity all over again. What if it hurts?” He reassured me. “It might hurt for a little while, but I promise it’ll start to feel really fucking good.” He slipped the toy in my pussy and started fucking me with it. I was so pent up with emotion I came instantly. “Yes..yes...I want it. Fuck that feels amazing.” I moaned and yelled out. “Good girl. Okay now relax.” I inhaled and felt that toy go right into my ass. “Oh god!” The feeling was odd. Definitely nothing I've ever felt before. I wasn't in as much pain as I thought I would be. Though it did sting a lot! “Fuck that looks so sexy.” He slapped me on the ass and stood me up on my feet. “Come look in the mirror baby.” He led me over to a wall mirror next to the T.V. “Oww. It stings a lot baby. Please take it out.” I groaned putting my head on his chest. He kissed me on the forehead. “Shh it's okay. Give it a few minutes to get adjusted.” I nodded.

“Suck me off while you wait.” I squat down in front of him. Trying to fight through the stinging in my asshole. He held on to the back of my head guiding me to his dick. It was glistening with pre-cum. I took all of it to the back of my throat. Gagging and slurping on it like a true queen of sucking dick. “Sienna baby...:” I looked up at him. “Ah I'm never leaving you.” He panted. “That throat is fucking gold. C'mere come sit on it.” He laid down on the bed and waited for me straddle him. I gently put the head of his dick inside and bounced up and down on it. “Yes ride that shit baby, get it.” His eyes rolled in the back of his head grabbing my ass. I went faster. “Cum for me daddy. I want your cum.” “Okay baby. How's your ass feel?” “It feels better.” The stinging was slowing starting to fade away and was replaced with a fullness and felt tight. Maybe this whole anal thing wasn't as bad as I thought. “Only better?” He moaned. “Hm I think I like it baby.” He smiled and whispered in my ear. “Can I fuck your juicy ass next time?” He kissed me and I nodded. “Mm thank you baby. I want to cum on your pretty face.” I hopped off and assumed the position my body was spent.

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After everything that took place with this crazy ass Vegas weekend I was just so glad to be back in L.A. don't get me wrong Vegas is lit but there's nothing like being back home. Marco had sent Colson a text to let him know we were welcomed back to his club and home anytime. He said and I quote “Don't worry about the couch. Things like that happen all the time.” That just made me feel even more dirtier than I already was, but Colson assured me he was just joking. Hm I had doubts. Jade facetimed me on the way to the airport. We talked everything over, and she insisted we get together soon for an all-girls trip. That she was friends with some cool down to earth women, and I agreed seeing as how I needed to make friends already. I was tired of going out either by myself or with Colson.

Monday was such a chill day I unpacked and just settled back into daily life. I cleaned up my apartment before I left so I didn't have to worry about that. My car however was a different story. I had a bad habit of leaving bags of clothes in my backseat. There were magazines everywhere, just a bunch of junk that needed to be brought inside. One of the perks of dating a celeb was that they always got goodie bags of merch whenever they went to an event. Colson would just throw all the stuff in my car and forget all about it. He didn't care about that crap anyways so I took full advantage. Just last month he got a free California king bed courtesy of some movie he was shooting as a thank you and guess what he didn't even want the damn thing! He gave it to me as a thank you for treating him right. I happily obliged.

Colson went back to his house and did whatever he does. I didn't much care for The Boulevard. I mean the name says it. People over all the fucking time day and night. It could be five in the morning and I swear folks will still be posted up kicking it. Not to mention all his bros were living there and shit is just awkward. I couldn't even walk around in a big t-shirt and panties because I never knew when one of them would just pop up while I'm fixing a bowl of cereal or some shit and Colson would not ask them to leave under any circumstances. It was thier home just as much as it was his. All I can do is respect it.

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“And then she did what!?” Slim sat forward on the couch letting Colson finish his story. “Mannn I'm telling you I had that bitch doing everything I said. Bend over, suck me, all that shit. My bitch so fire Jade even wanted a taste.” Colson stood around with a beer in hand talking. “Nigga you lucky as fuck.” Slim got up to throw his beer in the trash can shaking his head. “All I'm saying is Vegas was lit and I'm a muthafuckin player!” Colson screamed out loud. All the guys laughed. “Ayy hook me up with one of her sisters.” Slim asked. Colson shook his head and took a sip of his beer. “She’s an only child so good luck with that.” In his mind the Vegas trip was a sucess. They had spent time together, went to the club, had a lot of fucking sex. It was everything that a Vegas trip was supposed to be.

“Bro i went to the club got so fucked my security had to drive me back to the hotel.” Colson laughed. “Shit was so crazy. All the hoes was dancing on me. Man after a few vodka shots I don't even remember what the fuck.” He sat down on the couch putting his feet up on the coffee table. “Damn all that and Sienna ain’t say shit?” “Nope.” He thought about it for a moment. “Well I don't know. She seemed cool but I can’t call it. She's so damn good at hiding her emotions sometimes.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Ah bro looks like you’ve found the female version of yourself.” Slim explained. All Colson could do was agree in silence. Sienna did have some of his characteristics.

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A/N: Ladiessssss part 3 is up. What y'all think? I wanted to focus on getting some background info on S+C but trust me there is always more to the story *Big ass smirk on my face while Birdman hands*. I’m like 80% sure I know where I want to take this couple but ya know things never end up how they start. I really hope y’all have been enjoying this series. I swear they my mf babies. <3.

#machine gun kelly #mgk #mgk fanfic #mgkimagines #imagines #colsonbaker #fanfic #fanfiction #fantasy #Gunner #seven #OKurt

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laceandhockeyskates · 5 years

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What the hell I’ve been up to?!

I don’t even know how to make an introduction for this hot mess but I guess we’ll go month to month more or less because let me tell you 2018.... really fucked me up. Both in good ways, but also in terrible ways? I don’t know... I feel like it’s all worked out in the end but damn was it a mess to get to this point.

January- lovely, lovely January. Aka the last time I’ve posted anything of real value on this blog. I had my first trip out of the country!! Other than that uneventful?!

February and March (since nothing happened)- I turned 25. I don’t remember anything besides grabbing lunch with my grandma for it... so clearly it was a huge deal. Besides that though.... nothing.

April.... this is when things got.... interesting- we found out in April that the retail company I worked for was going out of business. Which was absolutely terrifying. I had no idea what I was going to do, how long it was going to take to find a new job... I knew nothing. That very day that we were told I put in 25 job applications. Within a week I had 4 job interviews lined up for one day that I had off of work, and at the end of that day I had a new job.

May- and it gets worse. May 4th was my last day at the store before I started my new job on May 5th. It was somewhere that I had applied to several times and never got a call back from, and it was only a three minute drive from my house so I thought everything was going to work out. Right? Wrong. I HATED it. With every fiber of my being it was the worst. I sat in my car on my lunch breaks crying more often than I wasn’t. It was honestly awful, and some greater power that be must have recognized how miserable I was because I was only there for less than 2 weeks. I started on the 5th and I worked my last day there on the 17th. I was scheduled to have that Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off already which I was thankful for and had all these plans. So since about November-December I had these back pains that started right between my shoulder blades and wrapped around my stomach every few weeks. At first I thought I had a strange strand of the flu, and then I thought I was just sleeping on my back wrong.... well neither was accurate. That Friday night I was sitting on the couch watching tv when the pain hit me again and at that point it was more of an annoyance thing because like seriously?? So I just did what I always did and took pain meds and prepared myself for a night of no sleep and taking a hot bath every two hours to pour steaming hot water over my back (aka the only thing that really helped), by Saturday I wasn’t any better and my dad offered to take me to the ER. I thought he was just tired of listening to me whine about the pain and not really worried but I did let him drive me to Walmart to get a heating pad and more pain killers. Which again... helped.... but only for so long. I actually got to sleep that night and woke up at 3 am in literally the worst pain of my entire life. I quickly got in the tub hoping that the hot water would work or the heating pad or really anything. By 5 am though I knew that something was terribly, terribly wrong and that’s when I asked my dad to take me to the ER. Which I don’t think he took me seriously until 7 when my mom woke up and I asked her to go. It took less than 5 minutes at the ER to be told I have pancreatitis and gallstones and I’m basically screwed. By the time I came back from chest x rays I was being admitted. And let me tell you... that shit sucked. My Er nurse asked me how I was feeling and I literally laughed and told her I was just happy that it wasn’t all in my head. Which she very much assured me that it wasn’t. And that I actually have a high pain tolerance considering anyone else would be screaming in pain, and that if I had waited another few days I’d be going in with a raptured gallbladder. That first day... sucked to put it kindly. Because I had a gallstone blocking my pancreas I wasn’t allowed food (I ended up going from 5 pm Saturday to 2 pm Monday without food) or water (4 am Sunday to 2 pm Monday). Do you know it’s like to go that long? I was the biggest asshole because all I truly wanted was applesauce and water. To top it off though they couldn’t figure out a pain med that actually worked for me. Morphine lasted about as long as it took to get to my toes (a few seconds at best) so I was miserably in pain the entire time. Monday wasn’t too bad. My mom came and visited me, and for the most part I was left alone with the occasional check in minus my surgery consult. Tuesday.... was a day. I’ve never had surgery before and to say I was anxious would be an understatement. I had been waking up around 5-6 am anyways and was just watching the news when I realized there were two people standing outside my door.... I had originally been told my surgery was the 3rd of the day and I wouldn’t be going until about 11 am which gave my parents enough time to get my brother off to school and to be back in time to see me off... that’s not what happened. They had bumped me up to #1. Which meant my labs hadn’t been put in as needed ASAP and had to be run again but as soon as that was done? I was being wheeled away. What I didn’t know was that my mom had a nightmare that I had been taken to surgery early and that I died on the table... so you can imagine her reaction when I texted them that I was actually going to surgery early... needless to say my dad sped all the way to the hospital. Actual surgery though? I don’t remember a ton. I remember going to the holding room and being introduced to a bunch of people that I knew for all of five seconds before going into the OR. I remember moving from my bed to the table and then being wrapped up in a bunch of warm blankets and given the mask. I wasn’t told to count down or anything but within seconds I was out. I remember vaguely waking up to be moved from the table to my bed and I THOUGHT I had only fallen back asleep for the ride to recovery... apparently it was a lot longer than that. I woke up once in recovery and could have sworn they cut me open side to side but nope. It was a successful surgery with only four tiny incisions that hurt like a goddamn bitch let me tell you and then I passed back out... when I finally woke back up again I was awake long enough I was allowed to go to my room where my parents were relieved to see me. I was up walking within an hour (I was told I wasn’t allowed food unless I moved around and got the gas out of myself and had bowl movements. They recommended walking. I wanted food.) and that day was spent between doing laps and sleeping. The next day? The day I was suppose to go home? My labs came back with a high white blood count... and I lost it. Despite my parents visiting me every day I was tired of feeling alone. Luckily though Thursday I was finally released.... in time for my baby brother to graduate high school. Which was a fun ceremony when you’re hopped up on pain meds.

June- was a hot mess of dealing with medical leave at the job I hated, but mostly? It was spent enjoying the summer. Once I was cleared for activity I was swimming nearly every day and soaking in the summer with my two baby cousins who turn 12 soon. Despite the physical pain I had to deal with and the stress of work I wouldn’t have traded that in for anything. It gave me so many fun memories to look back on and enjoy.

July- I was suppose to go back about the 8th but medical leave was... a mess. And tbh at that point it wasn’t worth the stress to keep that job when for the time being I was making enough by doing side jobs for my family to pay my bills. I did start applying for new jobs though while I spent more time enjoying my summer with my kiddos. By the 27th though I was starting my new job, which is where I’m currently at while I type this long ass post but we’ll get into that a little farther down. Two days later though as I was about to start my first full day at my new job I got the text message I never wanted to get. I had to call my cousin/best friend. Long story short her mother had passed away meaning that she had lost both of her parents in seven years. Something I can’t even imagine. But not only that but it meant that my grandma had also lost her sister and best friend, and my great grandmother had to do the one thing no parent should ever go through.

August- was honestly a really intense blur. Between two weeks of dealing with the fall out of losing my aunt and starting my new job I didn’t have a life. In late July/early August though I knew something was up with my car but I honestly thought it was just a tie rod going bad... no. Apparently my entire undercarriage was more or less rusting out and I was screwed. I didn’t have any money saved up for a down payment, I had no idea if I could even afford a car payment yet (despite working a better paying job with more hours but I was use to basically barely making ends meet with maybe $20 left over). Luckily my parents who are the real mvps of my life stepped up and helped me figure everything out and I had a new car within a week of starting to search (she’s my baby girl. I’m obsessed. She’s literally everything I wanted minus the fact that she’s white and my previous car was white and I wanted to avoid that: but besides that... I’m happy with her and she’s worth the pretty penny I pay every month).

September- was a goddamn mess work wise. It’s all I did. Work.

October- I took my first major road trip on my own (driving 2 and a half hours by myself on the interstate. It was a big deal.) and saw FOB in concert which was... life changing. I completely recommend seeing them if you ever have a chance (also machine gun kelly was there and despite the fact that I don’t care for rap.... he was pretty good.). Other than that though October was more work craziness.

And now for November, and if you guessed work was insane... you’d be right. When I was hired in July it was all “oh it’ll only be busy until like October” and now my boss is like “maybe by March we can get our sanity back for two months?” Which don’t get me wrong I’m grateful. I’m making a $1 more an hour, actually working full time, and I don’t hate a majority of my coworkers (there’s still a handful though that if I had a shopping cart at work I’d run of their bare toes but that’s more because they make my life unnecessarily stressful) but I’m actually happy???? Like as stressed out as I am basically 24/7 I’m doing alright. I have a majority of my Christmas shopping done and wrapped which like?? And idk... I’m just.... I’m in a good place. And I won’t lie I still check myself once and awhile going “okay something is bound to go wrong.” But also maybe all the good is outweighing all the bad that I had to deal with. Anyways so that’s the life update. If you actually read that... bless your soul. Message me. We’re now best friends. And hopefully in the coming weeks I figure out what the hell im doing with this blog.

December update I wanna die lol! We had two people quit in three weeks leaving us with four people to cover 24 hours 7 days a week....it’s a great time.

#if you read all of this hi message me you're my new best friend

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khondoker · 3 years

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How to Create a High Converting Sales page? Experts Talk

Sales pages, landing pages, sales page design, high converting landing page, conversion rate, CTA, landing page tools, landing page builder, high converting product, irresistible offers, these are words I live with. It’s my business to deal with these things for the past ten or so years. When I look back and compare, I see that I’m still fascinated by the landing pages as I was in my early days! I always keep myself open to learn new things and new views regarding the high-converting landing page. I see ideas here and there on the net; some are pretty good, and some are basic. Each of them has a choice of landing page builder. Some don’t use any landing page tools at all! But every one of them has their idea and presentation style. I gathered some impressive views on the high-converting landing page in a private Facebook group, and I want to share their thoughts here. Clearly, they were hunting for potential customers in the discussions, but they also outlined some cool basics of creating a high converting landing page.

The group is private, but it’s open for whoever wants to join, so I highly encourage you to join the group free.

Discussion From Simran Wadhwani (1)

How to Create a High Converting Sales page or landing page?

We’ve always heard the phrase, “The First Impression Is the Last Impression.” A funnel’s primary goal is to create a first impression in less than 7 seconds.

But, there seems a mystery as to how to create a high-converting sales page.

Following are steps that every funnel must include to become a high converting funnel.

Headline – The headline of the funnel speaks it all. The headline has the power to grab your client’s attention for the next 7 seconds.

Credibility – Credibility is a judgment that the audience makes about how believable the communicator is. Thus, Credibility acts as a factor of decision making.

Sneak peek – Sneak peek acts as a trailer of the movie. Sneak peek gives an idea about what is going to be the end-result of the product.

Assurance – Assurance basically speaks more about the product, which promises people what exactly they will get from the product.

Social Proof – Social proof Increases the client’s trust towards the product; social proof can be video testimonies, text testimonies, number of signs ups/purchases popping up, etc. Urgency- Urgency excites people to buy or claim freebies immediately. Urgency basically shows the limitation of the offer.

The image below shows an example of all the elements mentioned above. All those elements put together in the right flow, with eye-catching images/ background, with engaging copy, makes a Highly convertible sales funnel.

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Discussion from Simran Wadhwani (2)

How to make your Landing page/ funnel an automated Sales generator?

I’ve heard people saying funnels are money-making Machines in the business.

But is that really true?

I say yes; let me tell you How it works,

Imagine, You’ve hired a sales force that speaks to your clients, Tells them About your Product, Your Company, Focusing their problem and giving solutions for the same, Shows them the real results achieved by other clients and answers their concerns.

Do you think that’s enough to close the deal?

I know it’s a yes.

Now, Imagine Your sales page doing all of the above.

A Perfectly Optimised Sales Page does all of that; it can increase your sales from 5-20 times than before.

The image below is the template that shows how does high converting-funnel looks like.

I hope this helps you.

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Discussion from Kushal Raj

How to build a High-converting funnel

These are the steps for building high converting funnel.

1. Irresistible offer

2. copy – persuasive copy

3. pricing

4. marketing strategy

5. lead magnet

6. Design of funnel – People first see your design, trust and after that, they read the copy

7. Testimonials – Build trust

8. Traffic – You should choose your traffic source wisely. choose where your audience mostly hangout it many Facebook, LinkedIn whatever it is

9. Follow-up asset – Follow up assets are like retargeting people without paying anything through email

High-Converting Landing Page Creation2

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Discussion from Chetan Funnel Builder

Process of Building High Converting Funnel

Been doing funnels and websites for many years.

Many people ask me what the guarantee my funnel will convert is.

The answer is nobody can give you a guarantee.

Even Russell Brunson can’t give you a 100% guarantee that it will make you huge money.

Why?

Because

Building a high converting funnel is a continuous process that requires a lot of testing to make everything perfect for higher conversions.

for examples

irresistible offer

curiosity enticing copy

pricing

marketing strategy

lead magnet

design of funnel

testimonials

traffic

Do you think all this can be done perfectly in one sitting?

No,

It happens over time by doing test, test, test, test, test, and so many tests then only after receiving enough data, we get an idea like

What change should be made in the offer

what change should be made in the copy

how to create a design for funnel

what strategy should follow for ads

meaning you overhaul your funnel, then only it becomes a high converting funnel.

If you are not ready to do enough with your funnel, then you are hurting your own business. You don’t know what a small change in your funnel can do for you.

It may increase conversion or decrease as well, but there is no other way than testing if you want high conversion.

That’s the reason we have the concept of A/B testing.

Let me know your thoughts on this?

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Discussion from Edwin Teo Kah Wei

Tips for designing a High Converting LANDING PAGE

I am sure many know the importance of a landing page in a funnel because the Landing page is essentially where users land on. So the purpose of the Landing page is to create a Long-Lasting First Impression in less than 10 seconds.

So since we already know the importance of a Landing Page. The question is, how can we create a high converting one??

These are just a few tips from the tip of the iceberg that everyone should be aware of.

A strong headline– The headline of the landing page plays a huge role as it is the attention grabber, and it is essentially the first “Voice” of the page. Make sure the headline HOOKS the reader.

Keep it mysterious/sneak peek – Give the user a quick sneak peek but don’t reveal too much so that this hooks them even more to complete scrolling of the page, which in turns lead them to click on the CTA button.

Credibility – Ensure to stamp yourself as the authority in the niche. Increase credibility makes the reader trust more, and TRUST sells. Thus, Credibility acts as a factor in decision making.

Give Assurance– Assurance gives the reader confidence about the services or product, which promises people what they will get from the product. Assurance addresses some of the objections.

Social Proof– Social proof will further Increase the trust of the reader. You can use video testimonies, text testimonies, etc., as social proof to show them that people are actually opting into what you are selling.

Provide Urgency/Scarcity– Urgency and scarcity prompt the reader to take actions as most people fear the Missing Out tendency. When the offer is limited, they tend to take action ASAP to enjoy that special offer.

I have created this landing page with the above in mind. So when you create those, please have these in mind as well.

High-Converting Landing Page Creation-edwin1

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Discussion from Alex Tucker

How to Write Stronger Headlines For Sales Pages, Squeeze Pages, and Ads

If you want to make money affiliate marketing or selling your own products, writing high-converting headlines will become important at some point. Here I’ll focus on headlines for sales pages, squeeze/landing pages, and ads. Email headlines are a bit of a different beast, but many of these tips will apply to them as well.

First things first, writing great headlines is one of the most important aspects of copywriting. Copywriting is words strung together with the intention of encouraging the reader to take action. If you’re an online marketer, most of what you write will be some form of a copy.

The primary purpose of a headline is to attract attention, create interest or curiosity or desire or some combination thereof, and make the reader want to learn more. If you’re familiar with copywriting, you might have noticed I pretty much just described the most well-known copywriting formula, AIDA, which stands for Attraction, Interest, Desire and Action.

Because the headline is so important, it often determines whether or not someone reads the rest of your article or your page or your ad. Because it’s so important, it can actually be beneficial to condense an entire copywriting framework into the headline.

Of course, if you have a headline that just attracts attention, then that’s OK. But if you have a headline that attracts attention and creates some interest, then that’s better. If you have a headline that attracts attention, creates interest or curiosity and makes me click on it or do something else like buy something, then you’ve just done your whole job with a single line of copy. That’s why I believe headlines are the most condensed form of copywriting because you really do need to cram as much effective language as you can into space.

How do you do that? Whether you’re writing a squeeze page or an ad, it makes sense to craft multiple headlines. Even if you just write them for yourself, even if you’re not sharing them with anyone else, you’ll be surprised at how often the first or second, or even third headline you write is not the best one. And even if your first headline IS the best one, the rest do good practice!

The best headline often won’t be your favourite, and it’s not going to be the most creative of the bunch. A lot of people recommend writing 20 headlines per piece. The headline will be the most read part, so it makes sense to spend some extra time there.

I’ll be back soon with part 2 of 3 of this piece!

………………….

Discussion from Bright Djedje

The 5 step formula to come up with high converting offers quickly

For copywriters and everybody else

You can structure an amazing copy that keeps spitting you cash every time the right eyeballs see it. Now let’s get into it.

1. BIG Idea.

2. Intriguing Lead.

3. One core emotion.

4. False close.

5. An irresistible offer.

BIG Idea

If you get this wrong, it can affect your whole copy.

People don’t want to see/read yet another sales pitch; people are tired of clichés.

People are interested in NEW and BIG ideas, so position your copy exactly that way.

Intriguing Lead.

Now I’m sure you get this already. It’s a lead magnet, but one of your target readers cannot pass by.

Ebooks don’t work for this.

You should use something that is of value, like a free mini-course or a hardcover book.

One core emotion

You could try to use different emotions in your copy, but the idea here is to stick with one.

And use it throughout, subtly but effectively.

Fear, curiosity, anger….. it’s your choice.

False close.

This comes near the end of your letter.

False close is used when your reader is already sold on your idea and they’re expecting the sale.

And you do something different, yet another benefit or bonus your reader was not expecting.

An irresistible offer

An offer that is too good to pass by.

It would sound stupid not to take it.

And if you’ve successfully followed this, you can put up a copy that converts very easily.https://www.youtube.com/embed/91NLSOr-KXg?feature=oembed

I just posted only a few out of many thoughts on Creating a High Converting landing page or sales page. There many more, and anybody can figure out a converting funnel out of these discussions. The landing page building tools they are using are the same, and they all are looking for their potential customers. Again, I highly recommend you join the private group.

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briteboy · 7 years

Photo

yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)

*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD

Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty

they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe

I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.

OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3

A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.

OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3

You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;

you've ruined my life

Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)

OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly

hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone

Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.

i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫

NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭

let’s start protesting santi in the streets

Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)

yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3

so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!

👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏

HE’S TRYIN

i want to die

AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES

I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;

wait santi tried to kys :'(

WHERE U BEEN he did :{

what font do u use in your histories?

arial!

hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE 🌻

nyooooooom

I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL

@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??

i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao

gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love

omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333

i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on

this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored

i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.

OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR

Just a biiig prank. Huge

this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge

i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII

santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple

Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude

HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)

what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?

ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party

Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi

we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔

how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/

I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3

3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can’t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️

HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333

"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh

OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair

Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to

“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily

HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time

(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?

this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3

I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)

ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333

you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.

o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao

SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA

@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)

LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!

OK MOVE ALONG NOW

#AND I'LL BE ANSWERING THE CHARACTER ASKS TOMORROW (well today but whatev)#anonymous #nonsims #saviorhide #sunny answers

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frugalfarbie · 4 years

Text

Don’t Ever Go on a Date With a Stranger to a Baseball Game...

The guy seemed normal enough, as they always do in their online dating profiles, once you weed out the creeps. The purpose is to go out and meet new people, right? So why not go to a Rockies game on a first date? What’s the worst that could happen? Well, let me tell you...

[Disclaimer #1: I mean, we’re not talking “worst” in the sense that the stadium blew up or anything, but rather “worst” in my own personal experiences in the realm of dating]

[Disclaimer #2: I’m a Cubs fan, but I can still enjoy the game when it’s not my team playing]

[Disclaimer #3: I should also admit that I had an ulterior motive in accepting this date, as I wanted a picture in the purple row of mile high seats at the Rockie’s stadium, crossing off another item on my Colorado bucket list.]

I’ll save all the excruciating details and fast forward to the most fascinating points of this date, all the way up to him hitting it off with the Uber driver on the way home...

We were already on the CTA zooming towards the field when he told me one of his dogs [side note: he ran a doggy day care or something like that] chewed up his driver’s license. I made a “dog ate my homework” joke and didn’t think anything of it, assuming I’d grab all the drinks for us and he would lend his Visa for a couple rounds. Not so...

The first time I offered to buy drinks, I thought he might offer to pay for food or the next round. Nope. When we went to get our 2nd round of drinks, not only did he expect me to pay, he SUPERSIZED his drink to get the souvenir cup (which he later told me was for me). Sensing my jaw drop, he took out whatever cash he had in his wallet and handed it to me. Without looking, I shoved it in my purse, gave him the benefit of the doubt and proceeded to try to salvage something from the date.

After an unbearable few innings in which my date rarely talked to me but was more interested in conversation with his neighbor to the right about Rockie’s stats, I had enough. It was time to get my picture and get the hell out of there. My date had ignored me the first portion of the date and yet he seemed to be oblivious while he day dreamed out loud about all of the future dates we were going to have as we strolled towards the opposite end of the stadium. Within minutes he had at least 5 dates planned, without consulting my opinion on any of these, of course. I escaped into the restroom for relief and reprieve.

Because of my astonishment at his brazen gold digging and lack of knowledge about Rockie’s baseball, I had not been paying much attention to the details of the game. Imagine my surprise when I was in the quiet, calm of the restroom, and I hear the announcers over and over again say the name of my ex-boyfriend, who I dated for 6 years. That’s right - the Rockie’s pitcher shared the same name of my last, true love. Have you ever heard of such an obvious albatross? Anyways, I didn’t need any signs to spell out that this date was a disaster...

Bad omen following us through the stadium like a foul odor, we finally made our way to the Rock Pile [I think?] to grab one last drink before getting my bucket list picture.

[Disclaimer #4: I was honest from the beginning with him about wanting to get this pic before the date was over]

I pull out the money he reluctantly gave me for his SUPERSIZED souvenir drink to pay for my drink and realize that it is only $3. Not enough to pay for even half of my drink and only just enough to cover the tip of his SUPERSIZED drink. JUST THE TIP.

[Disclaimer #5: I think this is a good time to point out that he DID pay for the Rockies tickets, which were less than $20 a piece. Much less, in total, than what I paid in the few joyless hours we spent together.]

OKAY! So I got my picture!!! And it was a great one at that, so this definitely made the dysfunctional date somewhat worth it. That, and the fact that I get to tell this story for someone else’s enjoyment. Always gotta look for the silver lining, ya know?

In an effort to make my secondary intention less awkward, we sat down to watch the remainder of the 7th inning in the purple seats and had our first actual conversation of the night, now that there was literally only empty seats surrounding us. This is when he proceeds to tell me that Facebook is purposely tracking, filtering and restricting all of his personal conservative posts.

As the only outlier in my direct family of Republican, Trump-lovers, I assured him that Facebook was most likely not tracking and blocking his individual posts - my feed was flooded with friends and family expressing their conservative views loud and proud. But my curiosity was piqued, so I encouraged him to elaborate and hoped to be enlightened. Again, I’ll spare the details, but trust me that it all boils down to a date with a loony-toon conspiracy theorist.

I was done at this point and used my low battery as an excuse for the need to call an Uber ASAP in order to get home safe and sound. Instead of offering for a ride through his app on his fully-charged phone, he asked if I wanted to ride together as I desperately requested the Uber on my phone with 1% battery. I had no energy left in me, and for some unbeknownst reason to me in hindsight, I conceded. As we waited for the ride, he offered in a gentlemanly order: “We can drop you off first.” This is when my jaw dropped incredulously.

Here is a literal map of the route:

Stadium>>>>>>>>My House>>>>>>>>>>His House

Why on earth would he think that ME paying for the Uber and then offering to have me dropped off first, which was ON THE WAY to his house, was a gentlemanly act? I can only imagine. He somehow thought that the assumed and unspoken plan was to literally drive past my place to drop him off first, and then I would get dropped off after. I understand that everyone has their own perspective, but this was just downright goofy thinking. But again, it got worse.

Next, I endured a 20-minute ride home listening to my date hit it off with the driver. While it was not the most comfortable situation to be in, I remember actually feeling glad that I was excluded from their enthusiastic conversation and that maybe some benefit could come for someone from this horrific date. I am sure they exchanged numbers once I was out of the car, but ultimately, I don’t care if they did or not. Good riddance!

No text, no apology, no request for a second date. And definitely no offer for repayment of all the drinks or Uber ride home. But his dog ate his I.D....

THIS. This is the dating world for a successful, independent and decent-looking woman in her 30s.

Some may read this and think that I am naive and should have seen the warning signs. There are so many red flags in the dating world. We all have our baggage - especially dating in your 30s and beyond - and sometimes it can be tough to distinguish what to forgive and what to go running for the hills over. What would I have accomplished if I had not gone on the date and stayed home? Another unmemorable night, most likely, instead of coming home with this story I can look back and laugh about.

Ultimately, it comes down to chance and choice. Taking a chance on the unknown and having the choice to take that chance, over and over again, until you find what you are truly looking for in another human being, because of the belief that you will eventually find that person to share your goofiness with.

I just wouldn’t recommend doing it for the first time at a baseball game...

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