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sapphosclosefriend · 6 months

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- Money, Power, Glory pt 1 -

Pairing: CEO! Silverfox! Natasha Romanoff x Escort! Fem! Reader

Genre: suggestive

Summary: Natasha Romanoff, successful and rich CEO, books an urgent meeting with someone who she might be able to finally destress with. Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: top! Natasha x bottom! R, Natasha has a penis, BIG age gap (N=56, R=24), suggestive themes.

A/N: this story contains mature topics so anyone who isn’t 18+ DNI. Just as an introduction hehe don't worry, their first time is in the next one, I won't leave it out! Thanks sooo much to @rt--link and @supercorpdanbeau for being the kindest and both helping me out ❤️ As usual, likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated! Enjoy ♡

Masterlist

You still remember clearly the day you received the call from your agent. You honestly thought it was a cruel joke of hers at first, but the serious, yet excited, tone in her voice easily reassured you of the realness of the situation. The fact that she was calling you in the first place, and not quickly messaging you, was clear proof of just how important and urgent the matter was. Not only were you requested for that same night, meaning that the trusted woman deemed the new customer as important enough to ditch the advance days you usually demanded, but the house you needed to get to was of no regular person.

You were a high end escort, pleasing la creme de la creme only, well, at least in terms of monetary assets. You, and the agency you worked with, were known for your discretion, professionalism and skills, an overall level of competence that simply tended to attract clients of a certain status. And that's how you met her, the Natasha Romanoff herself, CEO of a multi-billion company she had created from the ground up in her decades-long career. But why was she so important? She would've been the richest one of your clients, it was as simple as that. Pretty much every single one of them were at the head of, if not close to, big and different companies, all with the highest power of the twenty-first century in their hands, money. You had actually thought about dipping your toes in the world of politics once, which was not so surprisingly filled with countless requests interested in your realm of expertise, but thanks to long consideration and much advice, you had decided to avoid its risks, settling on who you knew, after all, had what you wanted, filthy rich assholes. And gosh, wasn't she the richest one of them all.

Aside from her status, the thought of such a woman, so idolized she seemed unattainable, who could and probably had everything in the world, asking for your company, intrigued you immensely. That day, during every single hour you had spent to thoroughly take care of your appearance just for her, anticipation completely took over you. You knew she was beautiful and you genuinely thought she was fucking hot, which wasn't necessarily to be taken for granted in your line of work, but what you found yourself needing to know, and consequently making your interest in her grow even more, was how she was going to be in private. Was she going to be just like one of those countless naggingly cocky know-it-all's who thought of themselves as some sex gods, and gods in general, but really couldn't even figure out if you had cum yet? You found yourself almost wanting her to be different than everybody else, because deep down you felt like, even if she was the most annoying, full of herself bitch ever, you would’ve gladly tried to satisfy every single one of her needs and taken anything from her with a smile on your face. Ok, maybe scrolling for an hour through the internet looking up information about her and consequently ending up lost through any picture of her you could find wasn’t the best idea, but what could you say, you had a bit of a sweet spot for powerful women.

What you gathered from your innocent stalking session, though, was mainly about her countless successes in life but also concerning some gossip regarding her not so successful marriage life. It didn’t bother you, barely anything about your clients did at that point, but it only intrigued you more about why she wanted someone like you. She could’ve had anybody, she was a walking goddess with her pockets more than full and ladies most definitely falling at her feet left and right, yet there she was, in her car, getting back home after one of the longest and most tiring weeks of the past few months to wait for a girl she’d only seen a couple pictures of to take her mind off of everything. Her driver immediately knew not to even greet her by her frustrated sigh and the pinching of the bridge of her own nose as soon as she got in the car and immediately took off to her desired destination, making Natasha thank any and all gods for the nice relief after such displays of incompetence she had to endure from basically her whole staff. She was right at her limit and all the pent up anger and irritation from the week was finally starting to crack her composed facade at the prospect of the imminent weekend slowly reaching her. She didn’t even want to have dinner, she just needed to be at home, everyone out of her goddamn house and a pussy to unload some stress into. If she had to be honest, in that specific moment, she even missed her disastrous married life and the perk of having a wife always waiting for her at home, ready to meet her needs at the end of the day.

She, unfortunately, never felt the symptoms of "true love" with any of her ex wives, but the thought of how badly it had gone wrong with all of them still pained her a little every time her mind drifted to that phase of her life. During her successful yet busy life she'd been through her fair share of failed marriages, all with beautiful women she'd deeply cared for, but all eventually focused on one thing only, her absence. The first thing she'd always made sure to make very, very clear was just how little time she had to dedicate to anything outside of her company, which unfortunately included her personal life. Her best guess was that the haziness coming from a brand new love must've made it hard to get a grasp on her words…every single time, apparently.

It didn't matter anymore, though, because what she had to focus on now seemed to be much more important than any matter ever had. The quick, warm shower she had just enough time to take as soon as she got home was thankfully able to wash away the surface level anger that was starting to make her temple throb, preventing her from being a rude prick for the rest of the night. She was aware, after all, of the favor you were doing to her by working the night without any notice and all she wanted to do was be respectful for your kind availability. Being her perfectionist self, and deep down maybe even wanting you to like her, she knew she had to focus on not losing her mind on minor things like her outfit, so she decided to try to at least appear to be careless about her appearance and only focus the last bits of mental strength she had on the more relaxing, pleasurable parts of the night. Of course she still couldn't help but fix her hair just a little and change her sweatshirt for a still casual but more put together beige, cashmere sweater. She'd had it for years and, despite its condition not being the best, she couldn't bring herself to get rid of it, it just reminded her too much of- nevermind. A few small holes and pulled threads on her top would certainly be the last thought on your mind anyway.

She didn't even realize she was starting to zone out while still looking at herself in the mirror, when the sudden, distant ring of the front door slightly startled her, effectively making her get herself back together. What was minutes away from happening truly dawned on her as she descended the stairs to the first floor and, for a brief moment, as she walked through the entrance corridor and saw the blurry outline of your figure through the frosted glass of the tall door, time seemed to slow down and for the first time in years she felt a small twinge of anxiety creeping up on her the closer she got to you. She was really doing it, she was really about to follow the advice of her idiot Stark friend and didn't mind it too much. Maybe she was really getting old, maybe age was starting to actually play some tricks on her, because, as her hand pushed the cold handle of the entrance door and started to pull it open, the snippets of hair she could start to see of you lit a confident fire in her that only burned more vividly as your form was finally fully displayed to her, making it impossible for her to suppress the excitement she suddenly felt at the sight of you in person, looking at her through your lashes with subtle faux innocence she could see right through.

"Good evening, Ms Romanoff"

Part 2

Tags: @fxckmiup @natashasilverfox

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff smut #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow x female reader #black widow smut #marvel #mcu

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runningfrom2am · 5 months

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Hi, how’s your day been going? Hoping it was amazing. I just saw your post about needing inspo for Coriolanus fics! I’m not sure if you are taking requests but if you are Could you maybe do a touch-starved Coryo fic? Something fluffy/angsty where Coryo can finally fulfill those needs and be himself and vulnerable with the reader. Thanks!

as long as you need me - c.s

pairing: coryo x fem!reader

wc: 1.7k

tags/warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, he just needs you and you just want to help.

requests (currently closed- feel free to send whatever but it will be a while before I get to them!)

nav / coriolanus snow masterlist

a/n: ahhh thank you for sending this in! it was so fun to write like stopppp i just want to give him a hug omg. also thought i'd post this to hold y'all off until i post the next part of LTPF. anyway, enjoy!

You had a very stable grasp of the limits of your relationship. What was appropriate, and what was not. You were quite shy, and Coryo always carried himself with a high level of decorum. You would eat together at lunch, and he would walk you home most days. The weekends, your study dates, were always your favourite. He was significantly more relaxed, but you could still tell he was just a little tightly wound. By now, you've just learned that's who he is. Not overly affectionate, but he cares for you and you care for him.

"I can't stay late today, I'm sorry." You said, genuinely feeling bad for having to turn down the request. In your junior year, you started tutoring for younger grades at the academy and it is something you thoroughly enjoyed.

"I have a test tomorrow! Why can't you stay? Just for a few minutes- I just have a couple of questions." The first year, Aelia whined.

"My boyfriend is supposed to walk me home and he has a tight schedule, but I'll tell you what, I can meet you in the library in the morning before class. That way it will still be fresh in your mind, yeah?" You grinned, and she seemed satisfied as you agreed on a time, not knowing that a few of the girls in your grade were listening in.

"Y/N," Clemensia decided to approach you as Aelia walked off, Arachne and Livia following close behind. "Did I catch you telling someone that you have a boyfriend? Did I hear that right?"

"Oh, well, yes." You answered sheepishly, gathering your things to put in your bag before your next class.

"Really?" Livia chimed in, and you just nodded. "Okay, well, spill. Who is it? Do I know him?"

"Um..." You looked around, deciding what to say. You weren't necessarily keeping it a secret, but you just hadn't felt the need to tell anyone you went to school with. "It's Coriolanus. Snow." You cleared your throat, unsure why you even added his last name. It's not like the name Coriolanus was abundantly common.

"Shut up." Clemensia laughed slightly, eyes widening at you. "You're joking, right?"

"No... We've been together for almost seven months now."

"I just... wow. We had no idea. Seven months! I feel like I've never seen the two of you get closer than two feet apart." You weren't sure whether to interpret this response as teasing or genuine shock- so you just gave them an awkward smile and a small nod before walking away.

At the time, you had never considered how your lack of affection in public could be confusing to people- not that it mattered. Rumors had spread quickly after that, which was to be expected when Livia and Arachne were involved. However, PDA just wasn't your thing. General displays of affection weren't really your thing, either. Both of you always had a lot going on, and having been together for almost a year by now, you knew that you loved him and he loved you. You didn't have to prove it to each other or to anyone, there was no pressure for anything to change. On your end, anyway.

Coryo, on the other hand, was feeling something shift. Leading up to the reaping and more importantly, to the prize. You both were in the running, being in the top twenty-four of your class, and you had no doubt that Coryo was a shoo-in, but you didn't know how extremely anxious it was making him. The now constant thrumming of his heartbeat in his chest and his shaky hands were always less around you, and he can only dream of how much better it would be if he could just hold you.

These days, he'd wake up expecting you in his arms due to a particularly calming dream only to be disappointed. He respected you a great amount and wouldn't want to push your boundaries, however unspoken. Still, he wasn't sure how much longer he could go about his day-to-day without testing his theory that holding you could cure his fears, or at least let him forget about them for only a moment. He would happily take just a second of peace.

Coriolanus usually greeted you outside of your unshared classes, seeing that you tended to stay a few minutes late to ask questions or polish off your notes. He couldn't wait to see you, he needed to.

"Coryo." You smile, walking out of your lecture hall to see him waiting.

"Hi, Love. How was class?" Your boyfriend greets you, joining you on your walk towards the exit of the school.

"It was good. Though, I find the topic of the rebellion kind of redundant at this point." You say, books tucked against your chest under folded arms. "Is it not too soon to discuss it in a history class? I mean, I literally remember what it was like to live in a bomb shelter."

Your joke seemingly lands on deaf ears as he just hums, placing a hand on your lower back to guide you out of the building. This wasn't totally unusual, but with the way he was pushing you, albeit gently, was telling you that something was wrong.

"Is everything okay?" You ask him, looking up at the boy next to you as you reach the bottom of the academy's front steps.

"Fine." Coryo nods, attempting a reassuring smile that he isn't aware falls short.

"Okay, well... If you want to talk about anything, I'm here for you, you know. Always."

"I know. Thank you, Love." He drops his hand from your back to hold your free one, turning in the direction of your apartment.

The next afternoon, you're in the same class, one of the rare ones you don't share with Coryo, taking down notes from the lecture when there's a knock on the door, followed by it creaking open. You pay no mind, taking the opportunity to catch up on everything written on the board.

"May I borrow Y/N, please?" Your boyfriend's voice is scratchy and shakey in a way unfamiliar sounding to you, making your head snap up. You'd never seen him cry before. "Only for a moment."

Your teacher dismisses you, likely on account of your and Coriolanus's mutually spotless records and his red-rimmed eyes. Clearly, you were needed urgently. You leave your bag and your books, ignoring the whistles and heckling of some of your classmates as you rush to the door.

Coryo had reached his breaking point. He was writing his third paper of the week, unable to focus on that and get his mind off of how unlikely it was he would get the prize if the Dean had any say. Sitting in the library, the world had started turning around him. People were talking, laughing, even, and he couldn't take it anymore. The floodgates opened and he had rushed out of the room. He couldn't go home, his attendance would be affected and he'd be throwing away the prize most definitely. He had nowhere to go, except for to you.

You close the door behind yourself, thankful that the hallway is completely deserted during class time. "Hey, what's going on?" You ask, and before you can get a good look at him he's pulling you into a crushing hug, shaking around you.

You're shocked for a moment, pulling yourself out of your head to hug him back. Whatever is bothering him must be bad. He'd hugged you before, but never like this. "Hey, it's okay..." You whisper, rubbing his back. "Let's go outside for a second, yeah? Get some air?" You offer, gently prying yourself from his grasp to look at him.

Coryo can't speak, overtaken completely by the tears flowing down his cheeks and the anxiety flooding every inch of his body. He feels like he could be sick, all he knew that he needed was you. He just nods, trying to regain his composure, if only for the couple of minutes it takes to get outside.

"Okay. Let's go." You smile, trying not to show how worried you are as you wrap an arm around his back, still holding him close to you as if he has a broken ankle and you have to carry him. So far, his theory was proving to be correct. Just having you at his side was calming to him, and mentally he's cursing himself for not voicing his fears to you before they broke him.

As soon as the door of the rarely used back exit to the school is closed, he's essentially collapsing onto the ground, tucking his knees up to his chest and crying into his hands. You're quick to join him, draping an arm over his back and trying to grab one of his hands to hold. Your brow is knit with worry, rubbing his shoulder as he allows you to take one of his shaking hands. "Coryo..." You say softly, trying to get him to look at you but he won't. "What's happening? Talk to me, you can trust me. I just want to help."

He sniffles, looking up at you. "What is it?" You ask again, hoping to prompt any kind of information out of him. When he doesn't answer, you curve your approach to yes or no questions, hopefully, to make it easier on him. "Is someone hurt? Is it Grandma'am? Did something happen?"

He shakes his head slightly with every question, once again avoiding your eyes as he looks down at the ground, occasionally trying to cough out the knot in his throat.

"...Do you want to talk? Or do you just need a hug?" You realize, leaning in so he would look at you again.

He pulls you closer, wrapping both his arms around you awkwardly due to the way you are both sitting. "Just need you here." He mumbles, hardly audible as he buries his face in your shoulder and neck.

Relieved to hear his voice again, you place a hand on his hair and on his back, holding him tight. "I'm here, Coryo. As long as you need me."

taglist: @keziahcore, @soulessjourney, @kitscutie, @annaelise, @serrendiipty, @fratboyharrysgf0201, @totallynotkaibiased, @stelleduarte, @klplynn, @secretsicanthideanymore, @bejeweledreverie, @fals3-g0d, @gloryekaterina, @andrewgarfieldsbitch, @queenofspades6, @pepperonipastas, @ladybug0095, @lunamothwrites, @sbrewer21, @mus-tbe-a-weasley, @splxtscreen, @unclecrunkle, @karmaswitch, @rororo06, @coconut-dreamz, @nekee-lilac02, @ooooglymoooogly, @slytherinholland, @riddlerloveb0t, @lovedbalances, @notyourwildestdream, @snowlandson-top, @too-lit-for-fanfic, @utopiakys, @deafeningballoonnacho, @darlingisntit, @roosterschanelslut, @chmpgneprblem, @cosmoetik, @lauravanderbooben20, @dry0campa, @luclue, @lokidala, @urvampgfsworld, @carolanns-world,

#tbosas #tbosas fic #thg series #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus fanfiction #coryo snow #coryo x reader #snow lands on top #the hunger games #tom blyth

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ryukatters · 7 months

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kaaatttt 😭😭😭 i need some satoru headcanons to heal my soul... what is he like as a bf??

ask and you shall receive my love (writing this to heal my soul)

content: modern AU, fluff, nsfw headcanons at the end

SFW

“mmm..i think i deserve a little treat right now.”

except he says that at least 5 times a day and you will also be given a little treat. he does not care if you don’t want to eat kikufuku right now, you will be accompanying him to get some.

speaking of, this man is basically eating 24/7. if gojo leaves your side for any reason while you guys are home, just know he is scavenging the kitchen for scraps like the raccoon he is.

food is one of satoru’s main love languages. there’s something oddly satisfying and strangely warm about his loved ones eating and sharing a meal together, even if they tend to make him the butt of the joke in every single dinner conversation.

will force you to become a sanrio girly idc (if you aren’t one already)

“babe, look!” "satoru, we have enough cinnamoroll plushies at home." "so you hate me then?"

the type to pick you up and spin you around whenever you two hug. he’ll spin and spin until both of you are dizzy and crash onto the couch.

attention whore. also just a whore in general but mostly a whore for (your) attention. will absolutely do the MOST to make sure your eyes are on him— i’m talking about poking your cheek, locking your phone if you’re scrolling through tiktok next to him, and it doesn’t even take much for him to start begging. he’s a loser like that.

scarily in tune with you. satoru is a lot more emotionally intelligent than he likes to let on around others, but he picks up on a lot of things. both of you are at a function and he can take one look at you and know that it's time to pack it up and go home.

is very sentimental about the things you give him/the things you two do together. before you started dating, satoru wasn't really one to collect tiny trinkets or keep ticket stubs because he thought they were just a waste of space. after you two got together, he started keeping virtually everything in a little box hidden in his closet. he realized that it's nice to give sentimental value to the little things, because then the memories associated with them live on in something physical.

he just... can't keep his hands to himself LOL. and like not even in a sexual manner either (sometimes), he just naturally gravitates towards you and is almost always touching you somehow— hand fiddling with your jewelry or hair, arm around your shoulder when you're sitting, arm around your waist when you're standing, playing footsies, whatever.

this man is painfully in love with you, and he makes it everyone's (mostly nanami's) problem. manages to bring you up in every single conversation with a lovesick grin on his face.

you will rarely ever hear satoru address you by your actual name. it will always be some variation of baby, babe, sweetheart, love, etc. uses snookums, cupcake, sweet cheeks, cinnamon sugar roll, my little sausage mcgriddle <3 on a rotating basis to annoy you

NSFW

you know those couples that just have this pent up sexual tension between them for no reason? like y’all could just be looking at each other but to everyone else it feels like you two are just eyefucking 😭 that’s you and gojo

no matter how long you guys have been together for, that spark between you just doesn't go away. people can see the immense physical attraction between you two.

is somewhat of an exhibitionist LMAO. he literally gets horny at the worst times and will drag you to the nearest supply closet, even if it means breaking the door in the process. who knows, maybe his real kink is vandalism

enjoys when you put up a bit of a fight/act like a brat. it makes putting you in your place so much sweeter.

very vocal— talking, moaning, whimpering. he sounds very pretty. he's extremely receptive to your touch so simply rubbing your hand along the bulge in his jeans has him moaning like a pornstar.

say it with me: satoru gojo is a pussy👏🏻pleaser👏🏻!

really likes going down on you. he thinks he could stay in between your thighs forever if you'd let him.

nasty. will cum inside you and clean it up with his tongue.

oscillates between wanting to overstimulate you and deny you. sometimes he does both. the way you get this hazy look in your eye and become so pliant, so needy for him gets him going.

he gets strangely possessive during sex. maybe it's a way for him to affirm that you really do love him and find him attractive.

"i'm the only one that can fuck you like this, right? make you feel this good?"

is a fan of snacks during aftercare LOL. you could have just had the most wild sex of your life, with the two of you panting as you lie in bed before satoru rolls over and opens his nightstand drawer and pulls out a pack of oreos before shoving one into your mouth

Some of these aren't even bf headcanons they're just how I think he'd be LMFAO

#i have a lot more but i'll stop #gojo headcanons #jjk headcanons #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo headcanons #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #satoru x reader #kat's writing #kat’s demon time

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violetrainbow412-blog · 7 months

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Day 6: playing with hair

Masterlist flufftober 🎀

Reblog if you liked it!

“I brought more popcorn,” you announced happily, offering Spencer the full bowl and watching him clap silently.

The entire team had received Rossi's invitation to watch a movie at his house, under the excuse that in recent weeks you had not gone anywhere outside of work hours to spend time together as friends and not as co-workers.

Spencer was currently sitting on the floor, claiming that he really enjoyed sitting there instead of on the couches, with his back leaning on the space you had made between your legs and his gaze intent on the suspense movie that the host had chosen.

At some point in the middle of the darkness of the room your hand went down to reach the tip of a strand in his long loose hair and began to play with it carelessly, almost as if it were a reflex action. Spencer was used to you doing that all the time so it didn't take him by surprise, but at some point the movie stopped being interesting enough for you to pay attention and you decided to start running your hands consciously through his hair. When you massaged him you heard him sigh from time to time and you continued like that until with the help of your fingers you began to get rid of the knots he had and only a silky cascade of brown with golden touches remained.

“Hey,” you whispered, leaning down to speak right in his ear.

"Yeah?"

“Let me braid your hair?”

“Whatever you want, pretty,” he replied quietly. The man leaned to the side to plant a distracted kiss on your knee as if to make you aware that he had heard you, but also to show you that he was too interested in the plot of the film for a more enthusiastic response.

You did a few small french braids on the top of his head and a few more scattered throughout the loose section below, taking your time to get them perfect. From time to time he would raise his hand to put popcorn in your mouth, knowing that you were very committed to your work, and you didn't even realize that it had been long enough for the movie to end until the credits rolled and JJ turned on the lights in the living room.

“Well, that was an ending I wasn't expecting,” Emily exhaled, apparently satisfied with the film choice David had made.

"You liked the movie?" he asked suddenly, turning towards you for the first time and allowing you to admire your masterpiece. He looked totally pretty, in a feminine way that only a man like him could pull off.

“I got distracted halfway with you, if I'm honest.”

“We can see it getting home if you want, I want to test a theory about continuity errors” he suggested to you happily. Few commercial movies caught your boyfriend's attention and you thought that if he had enjoyed it you probably would too, although now from the comfort of your home.

“What's on your head, Reid?” Morgan smiled, looking at his friend and causing the rest to do the same. Spencer still didn't seem aware of what you had done until you lent him your phone screen for him to use as a mirror and then he could see what you had been focusing on for the last half hour.

"You like them?"

“I don't know, do you think I look good?” he asked genuinely. You loved that part of your boyfriend, the one that didn't let himself be carried away by prejudices and he only enjoyed things that could make him happy or, in the same way, make you happy.

You smiled and leaned down enough to place a gentle kiss on his lips, followed by at least three more spread across his cheeks and one on the tip of his nose that tickled him.

"I love them. I love you”

“Oh, come on, get a room!” Prentiss squealed as he threw a cushion at you and made a face of displeasure at your little romantic moment.

“How did you get him to let you do his hair? He never left me”

“I guess they're girlfriend benefits, Garcia,” you joked, while he pulled your hand to his mouth to leave a delicate kiss on your knuckles “Besides, he was too preoccupied with finding out who the murderer was to notice"

“That’s not true, I knew you were combing my hair. I only left you because it relaxes me a lot that you play with it” he confessed, looking at you out of the corner of his eye even from his position on the floor.

Spencer wanted to get that admiring look from you just a little longer and upon arriving at your shared apartment he slept with his hair combed, until the next morning he was greatly surprised when he realized that the locks you had braided were now curly. You took out some old tubes that your mother had given you, but they were now almost obsolete, and you explained to him that they fulfilled the same function, promising that if a case didn’t arise that same night, you would put them on so that he could see the results himself.

Seeing the experienced and brilliant doctor you had as a boyfriend full of blue tubes in his head was something you never thought you would witness, but the excited smile on his face at the new hairstyle was payment enough for your loving heart.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove @vivian-555 @r-3dlips @rhiannonhippiegirl

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #dr spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid x you #flufftober 2023 #prompt list #writing challenge #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid drabble

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stxrvel · 6 months

Text

hate is a strong word pt. 3

summary: after a few bumps, you and Bucky finally have that long-awaited conversation.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +5k

warnings: bad words, mentions of kidnapping and trauma surrounding it, reader is still stubborn when it comes to ther safety, mention of thoughts regarding death or possible death, reader tries to play it cool in front of everyone but she has a big trauma inside, reader is finally taking her time to understand things, bucky barnes?

note: this took me a while but still i hope you guys like this! this is the final part for this mini series and it didn't end up being as long as i thought but im still really satisfied. just know that feedback is always appreciated and i love reading your comments! see you next time <3

Things had become tense at the Complex. Not because of you, or Bucky. Black Lightning was attacking all of the Avengers' blind spots and was leaving them defenseless on the battlefield. It might seem like a joke that a single person with the power of lightning could defeat the planet's greatest defenders, but they couldn't underestimate a person with pain, a purpose and nothing to lose.

You had not been cleared to return to the field, yet Fury entrusted you with a special mission.

Find the infiltrator.

It was no surprise to anyone that lately it seemed Black Lightning was always three steps ahead of all your plans, any ambush or surprise takeover would be reversed and they would end up back at the starting point. Fury, very thoroughly, gave you a list of possible suspects that you were to intercept any communications from. Even though you couldn't go out in the field, you had a job that was almost as important, so you did it with great zeal.

But it was already ten days away. And, although the director didn't ask you to, you also kept an eye on the activity of the team members against Black Lightning, trying to spot any suspicious behavior through the cameras.

That's how you came to be in front of his desk, asking him to let you chase a man who went out every day at the same time and always came back two hours later, without fail. It would be too complicated for him to accept, for the same reason you weren't going on field missions yet, but you had to try. Besides, who else would he send if no one else on the team knew about it? He had to trust you.

He had to, and yet…

“No fucking way,” the director shook his head, taking with the air your precious opportunity to provide the team with a way out.

“This might be the only chance we have to get the upper hand on her,” you scowled at him, indignation bubbling in your chest.

“I'm not going to send you into the lion's den one more time,” his determined look left you speechless for a few seconds. It seemed you weren't the only one who kept thinking back to that ambush a few weeks ago.

Maybe the fear of being close to Black Lightning once again should be stronger than the desire to defeat her, but knowing the stakes gave you a little more courage to confront her. Still, you had to tense your jaw discreetly to keep Fury from noticing the fear that wanted to creep into your eyes. The very thought sent shivers down your spine, but… if not you, then who? If not now, when?

“In the position we're in, do you think that's what we should be focusing on now?”

The words burned in your throat, but you fought hard to keep your expression composed and furious. The fear in your chest was clashing with the discomfort of your rationality and you felt dizzy.

Fury shook his head once more.

“It's too risky a possibility, what are you supposed to do if she finds you?”

“I'm going to stay away from them. I don't need to hear what they talk about, just watch them together.”

The man wasn't going to budge, you knew that. Maybe, after all, you were just there to follow the regular conduit. So that, afterwards, you wouldn't have anyone wondering why you did it. You gave him the chance to go along with you on this, to be with you, because he had to know that a simple "no" couldn't stop you, and he wouldn't take it.

“There's no way she doesn't realize you're around her.”

“She doesn't carry a thermos sensor on her, Fury. And now we know she knows all our plans in advance because someone tells her, not because she has super mental powers or telekinesis.”

“I can't let you do that, Y/N.”

“And what were you planning to do with this information? If you're not going to send me and no one else on the team knows.”

Fury didn't respond.

There was nothing more you could say to him. If he didn't want to take that chance, then you would. It was a stupid, crazy, risky plan, probably the most dangerous you'd ever come up with, but it was also a great chance to get something when you'd only spent days losing.

You met Natasha when you arrived at the Complex common room. Bucky was there. You hadn't seen him since that last conversation you had in the intelligence room.

“How did it go?”

“Horrible.”

Natasha was the only one who half knew what you were planning, only because you couldn't contain the full truth to yourself without believing you were going to explode. A couple of days ago you had told her that you were going to ask Fury to let you go back to field missions, because it had been over a month. You left out some details, important and unnecessary details, but that was essentially what it was all about.

“Maybe it's for the best,” Natasha commented after pouting her lips. “It's still very fresh.”

“You guys are more traumatized by that incident than I am.”

“You could have died,” Natasha frowned at your words, looking at you as if she couldn't believe you would take so much credit for what happened. It looked like you had committed a crime.

“But I didn't die. And everyone treats me like I did,” you returned the gesture, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Don't blame us for worrying about you,” Natasha tried to move closer, raising her hand to put it on your shoulder, but you pulled away sharply with an annoyed expression. You didn't miss the flash of confusion that passed over her face.

“I've always done these missions, Natasha, what's different now?”

“That she almost killed you and you haven't given yourself time to process that like you should,” Natasha had always cared about your well being and having conversations like this from time to time wasn't that strange to you, but on this occasion it really had been too long and you hated that they think you were incapable of moving on with your life because of something that happened over a month ago that was no different than something that might have happened to you before.

“I risk my life on every mission, just like everyone else.”

“Don't downplay the importance of that. Worry more about your life.”

“Are you pulling a Bucky Barnes on me right now?”

Natasha let out an exasperated sigh. You watched as she run one of her hands through her reddish hair. You sure looked like you were going to explode, you felt your skin boiling.

Maybe you were having an overreaction, but who was determining that limit? There was no one in that Complex who knew you better than yourself. You hated to think that Fury had more reasons for not letting you back into the field, like you weren't as strong as the others with incredible powers and abilities. It was ridiculous.

And Natasha was saying ridiculous things too… but she cared anyway. You couldn't condemn her for that.

The big sigh you let out caught her attention.

“I'm sorry,” you told her, your voice a little more muffled and lower than before.

“I'm sorry too,” Natasha shook her head when she saw you were about to protest and took the floor again, “Sometimes I forget that you're one of the strongest and bravest members on the team. No one goes through everything you went through and still lives with strength like that.”

Did she just read your mind?

“Keep trying,” Natasha patted your arm. “With Fury, I mean. Maybe tomorrow you'll have better luck.”

You couldn't wait for tomorrow. He'd refuse again, that was for sure.

Natasha gave you a tight-lipped smile and you could barely return the gesture. You wanted to drag her back to your side to tell her what you really wanted to do, but you couldn't, nothing assured you that she would react differently to Fury, or worse, try to join you. Natasha was someone who would give her life to protect the team, but you were no slouch.

Besides, this was your kind of mission. Fury gave it to you because he knew you were the only one who would know how to handle it, even if he didn't want to accept it or want to let you execute it. Maybe only one person could come, but… No. You didn't have time to think about that.

You had to do it. And it had to be that night. You couldn't stand one more meeting with the team with no new news, having to endure their thinly disguised looks of disappointment. That was it, it was disappointing to not be able to get breakthroughs and keep losing at every attempt. Here was the opportunity and it could go very well or very badly. There was only one way to find out.

You had already learned the path by heart. It was the tenth day since you all had gone into crisis so you had time to draw lines on your mental map. Natasha, Sam and Tony had left the Complex and the rest of the remaining team were probably asleep or something. The point was that the coast was clear.

The person you were to follow would be leaving in fifteen minutes and that was your time to get ahead of them. You took one of the motorcycles from the parking lot and started your way to where the meeting point would be. You would leave the motorcycle at a great distance and walk the rest of the way in silence.

You were sure it was a good plan.

It had to be.

Several minutes passed when, in that building in front of the abandoned chapel, you saw the man with the glasses enter after looking both sides of the street. You were thankful that the shadows and darkness played in your favor that time. You tiptoed up to the chapel door after a few seconds. It was made of very old wood, old enough that the cracks inside it were large enough to get a good view of the inside of the building.

There, in the middle of the night and the shadows, you saw her. Once again you were close to her. And in front of her was that mysterious man who seemed to be the infiltrator in the team. You felt sorry for that poor devil.

That is until you felt movements around you and, just when it seemed that Black Lightning's head was turning in your direction, a pair of arms wrapped around you and pulled you away at incredible speed from the wooden door.

It had all happened so fast that you didn't even react until that person pulled you both into the building next to the chapel. There, hidden, it didn't even occur to you to raise your voice. You could see out of the corner of your eye through the window on your left side that Black Lightning came out of the chapel roughly, her head moving in every possible direction, surely looking for the source of the sense of surveillance she must have had.

You watched her until the person behind you gave you a tug in the opposite direction and you could do nothing but frown at him.

It was amazing how you could recognize him even without hearing or seeing him. It was as if your unconscious knew Bucky Barnes in essence.

Neither of you moved until you stopped hearing the voices a short distance away and until Black Lightning's distinctive whirring sound echoed as she flew off.

Your chest rose in sync with your accelerated breathing, increasing as the seconds passed in silence.

You had an internal dilemma thinking that night could have possibly ended very badly.

“You know what, I know how you get away with those crazy plans you always have,” you heard his voice low against your ear, his breath moving the unbound strands of your hair and sending electric currents throughout your body. “You've got all the fucking luck in the world on your side.”

His arms finally pulled away from your body. The hand covering your mouth left a cold trace on its path away from you. Everything seemed to move a little slower.

“Are you okay?”

Bucky grabbed your shoulders to turn you around. His chest was the first thing you saw, your head tilted slightly to the ground in a kind of shock. It was the adrenaline of the moment clearly, the possibility that she had found you and you hadn't returned that night to the Complex, the endless situations of suffering you could have gone through far away, no one knowing where you were or how to find you, all falling at once on top of your head.

You had been so close to death before on several occasions, but the feeling never became less tolerable. Sometimes it was easier to process it, with too much outside stimuli allowing you to escape the density of the situation. But at that moment, as at some others, the feeling of fear was overwhelming. Maybe you could walk over it, as you planned to do, but it would be whispering behind your ear at every turn, furrowing through your nerves and your bones as if it was born for that sole purpose.

Bucky moved you at some point, as you kept thinking about how you should process that not-so-close-to-death experience. Fury was quite right not to have allowed you to do this in the first place and you hated to think that maybe you should have listened to him. But you really hadn't counted on seeing her again to paralyze you so much. The idea hadn't scared you as much as it did at that moment.

Suddenly you were in a car that was parked in front of the Complex and it made you wonder how the hell Bucky had gotten to that place that no one knew about, when you had never told anyone where you were going.

You had probably fallen asleep because the next thing you knew you were in your room in complete silence with Bucky sitting on the edge of your bed. You barely looked at him not knowing what to say. How had you moved so fast? Did you really get so deep in your thoughts?

Well, enough was enough. Nothing had happened. You were fine. Just your luck. You didn't have to face Black Lightning again with the lowest chance of winning. Bucky had gotten you out of there. You were fine.

“How did you know where I was?”

“You took my bike,” Bucky shook his shoulders slightly, his serious face scanning yours for some kind of clue. “I got an alarm on my cell phone and when I saw that it had been you... I don't know, something told me you were going to do something stupid.”

Bucky rested his hands on the mattress and your eyes followed the movement as if it was the only thing you could see, the only thing you could focus on. Maybe you did, you didn't want to see him. Besides the fact that you felt ashamed because you really had been reckless, you still didn't want to be that close to him after what had happened.

But that wasn't the time to think about that. You had found the insider. You were right. Now, how were you going to tell Fury without him freaking out? He'd probably take away your license and ban you from the Complex.

“I got some great information thanks to that stupid plan,” you tried to lash out in a more cheerful tone, but it felt bittersweet between your lips. If Bucky felt it false, he didn't comment on it.

“What were you were doing anyway?”

“Fury had a suspicion that there was an infiltrator on the team. He asked me to trace calls, but… that wasn't getting me anywhere. I had been following one particular person who I noticed was always going out and coming back at the same time by watching the security cameras…”

When you ventured to raise your head, Bucky had a raised eyebrow.

“Sometimes I got bored of being there all day and checked the cameras, it's not a crime.”

“I didn't say it was.”

“You're judging me with that look.”

Bucky smiled, a short laugh flooding in.

“So you saw that person and decided they were the insider.”

“They had to be. I had to check it out.”

“And Fury wouldn't let you so you stole my bike and went to find out on your own in one of the worst ideas you've ever had.”

You twisted your lips. “Yeah, basically.”

“At least you're not contradicting me that it was a terrible plan.”

“No, I knew it was a horrible plan, but what else could I do? I was tired of not being able to get anything out of the reports and I had a great chance in the palm of my hand. Tell me if you wouldn't have done it.”

Bucky pursed his lips, but didn't deny your words. And that's because yes, it would have been even more stupid of you to listen to Fury and ignore everything after he had denied you a clearance.

Now you had a big advantage over Black Lightning. You had to tell Fury.

“You could have told me,” Bucky suddenly commented, his gaze wandering along the wall to the side of the bed.

You arched an eyebrow at him, even though he wasn't looking at you and snorted in disbelief.

“And for what, so you could charge me with Fury?”

“Ouch,” the man in front of you pretended his chest hurt and his right hand went to hover over his heart. “I would've gone along with you, of course.”

“Are you kidding me?” you let out a laugh.

“Of course I'm not. You're right about one thing and that's that it's a big advantage, but yes I would've preferred it if you hadn't gone alone. What would have happened if it hadn't been my bike you took? I don't even want to…”

A dense silence followed Bucky's words. That had been a possibility you had considered indirectly, in the back of your head, where reason didn't enter. It followed you like a blur, something you didn't know exactly what it was, but it made your hair stand on end to remember it was there.

And you had thought about telling him, you almost succumbed to the idea, but you were afraid it would go badly for both of you. For him.

“Very convenient, but thank you for following me.”

Bucky shrugged.

“We were right to follow our instinct.”

Things with Fury had become tense and you hadn't come out of one punishment and into another. Still, the information you provided was just what the team needed to get back three steps ahead of Black Lightning. She was a powerful woman, yes, but they could prepare much better.

The team was busy for days, almost weeks. You had too much time for yourself and office work, so much so that you already knew that by the time you could get back to field missions, nothing would get you out of there.

You would run into some of the team members from time to time and chat about anything. Sometimes you could almost say you missed the company of some of them. Even Bucky, at times, made himself missed.

Everything returned to a bit more of a normal rhythm when Black Lightning was defeated and locked. That day the team had a huge dinner. You spent almost the entire night with Natasha and Clint; Steve showed up from time to time and Tony moved from table to table. It was a very peaceful evening with nothing new to interrupt it. The next day you would return to the ordinary trot, but that night you all enjoyed it quite a bit.

You'd like to say you'd talked to Bucky, but…

You went several weeks without seeing him, as the team struggled to stop Black Lightning, and just as you continued with your office work and no longer had as much pressure on your shoulders having ripped that woman's Achilles heel, you used a lot of that time to do a lot of self-reflection. Weeks went by, so you had plenty of time. Also with some advice from Natasha, of course.

It had been so long since you'd last seen him that meeting him in the hallway of the rooms felt strange.

“Hello,” he was the first to speak, as you held tightly the container with the coffee you had half-drunk that morning.

It was barely dawn. You had gone to the kitchen to make your morning coffee and were on your way back to your room when you found him coming out of his. There was no way you could run away, he was literally right in front of you. But you weren't sure that was what you wanted to do, you were just too nervous. You had thought about a lot of things during all that time without seeing him, but not what to say to him when you saw him again.

“Hi,” you replied almost in a whisper, and you wanted to slap yourself at how embarrassed you sounded. You felt your face heat up.

“How are you doing?”

“Fine. All good,” you pursed your lips, swaying on your feet. You felt like you were on unfamiliar ground. “What about you?”

“Same, all good,” Bucky shook his head in assent, mimicking your gesture. He still had his white pajamas on and his right hand on the doorknob.

“I'm glad,” you tore the words from your throat, wanting to fill the silence that wanted to envelop you tightly.

Bucky continued to shake his head in slight movements, as he averted his gaze to the hallway. You had no idea what to do now, you never thought seeing him again would be so awkward.

“This is… weird,” Bucky spoke again after a few seconds, looking unsure and confused.

“Yeah, too much.”

“Sorry.”

“No,” you shook your head quickly and moved closer unconsciously. “It's not your fault. It's nothing. We must have become unaccustomed to each other's presence.”

You saw him tilt his head.

“It's just that it's been too long,” with his comment he agreed with you, suddenly looking a little less uncomfortable. “Speaking of which, how did it go? Because of what happened with Black Lightning, I mean.”

“Oh,” you took the container with your coffee in your hands, lowering your gaze. “I've been fine. It was a rough few days after that, but I'm better now. I'm not sure why that happened.”

“Really? I'd be stranger if it hadn't happened,” Bucky admitted, and at your frown, he elaborated, “She had kidnapped you a month before, we had no idea where you were. Even if it had been a short time, you must have felt desperate. She out-powered you.”

“But I've had near-death experiences before,” you shook your head. You'd had that debate in your head several times before, and it seemed Bucky had come to the same conclusion you had.

“When you've dealt with that kind of situation, it's been very easy for you to get through it because you were in control. Chance was up to you. But not that time, you were at the mercy of someone else, their power or their pity. There was nothing you could do.”

His eyes sparkled in the sunlight filtering through the window and you realized that you had missed his sympathetic, condescending gaze from time to time. You hadn't seen him many times before, especially not before that talk you'd had a couple of months ago that changed everything.

One such day, in the rain and thunder, you thought that a lot of what Bucky had to offer scared you. Maybe you hated him because imagining wanting him was so much harder when that decision was up to him and not you. Hate could be controlled unilaterally, love could not.

In conclusion, you were a very controlling person.

“You are very wise,” you smiled through your reply.

Bucky smiled too, a small gesture that triggered something in your chest, in your heart or to the side. You weren't sure where it was.

“I hope this time has served you well in many ways,” he commented as he stepped fully out of his darkened room and closed the door. “I'm going to the kitchen,” he gave a glance at your container, “I guess I'll see you later.”

You nodded absently. “Yeah, see you later.”

Bucky gave you a tight-lipped smile before he started walking back the way you had come. Watching him walk away left you with a sense of anticipation, because there was still so much you wanted to tell him but had no idea how to go about it. You still struggled a bit with the words, but you were already sure of what you wanted. And one of those things was for him to know as soon as possible.

You also struggled with the possible outcomes. There weren't many, but you didn't like one of them and you thought it might make you sad. You were trying to make peace with not controlling others and stop being a lone wolf about it, but it was still a little difficult.

You didn't see Bucky until a couple of days later.

It was Steve's birthday and Tony of course threw an amazing party as a celebration. The whole team was there and many other people close to them. You all had become a bit secretive since the issue with the insider, especially Tony with how he handled meetings and in this case, reunions. So it was crowded, but not overly so as it used to be.

You had had a good time, you chatted with everyone and drank what you wanted. You spent time sitting, on the dance floor and near the games. You enjoyed everything until finally your legs gave out. It was past midnight when you stepped out onto the balcony to finally get some air. The drink made you somewhat cheerful and social, but you continued to keep your sanity and reason. Enough so that seeing Bucky Barnes in a suit leaning against the railing caused a twist in your heart and an emptiness in the pit of your stomach.

“Did you come for air too?”

You didn't know if it was his super-soldier serum or something similar to yours, but it always amazed you that he knew when you were around. It also made your nerves calm a bit as you approached the railing.

“Yeah, they had me without a break today.”

Bucky let out a laugh, openly, and amidst your glassy-eyed stare from drinking, you couldn't take your eyes off him. You couldn't when he was regaling you with such an exquisite sight and such a harmonious sound. You didn't know how you had been able to spend so much time hating him. Or pretending you did. Hate is such a strong word, it shouldn't be used so casually.

“I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, really. You look more radiant,” he kept his gaze on yours, not wiping the smile from his face.

“How long have you been here?”

“I was just about to leave. I guess I was lucky I decided to stay a little longer.”

You arched an eyebrow at him with a half smile, which was answered with one of his own.

“I couldn't blame you,” you commented, averting your gaze to take in the incredible panoramic view you had of much of the city from where you stood. You had both worlds, the vast wilderness and the concrete jungle, “It's a beautiful view.”

“Indeed,” you heard him so close you didn't have to move much to know he was still looking at you.

With a hot face, you shook your head.

“You're very flirtatious, Barnes, I don't think I would've guessed.”

“You have no idea what I'm like, doll, you've got a long way to go,” his voice sounded a little deeper than usual and you blamed the cold for the shiver that ran through your body.

“Are you assuming I want to walk it?” you turned to see him with a falsely confused, playful look.

“I'll take my chances,” he gave you a beautiful cocked smile without taking his light eyes away from yours.

“Careful with that. You could end up walking alone,” you looked back out over the city, being all too aware of his gaze roaming the silhouette of your face.

“I have a good feeling. The wind is on my side.”

You let out a laugh inevitably, it was probably because of nerves or because he was building something around both of you that you couldn't control. And maybe that didn't bother you too much. It would be nice to let someone else carry the rope once in a while… wouldn't it?

“Are you implying something?”

You heard him sigh before taking the same position you had, facing the city.

“I guess I can't hide my curiosity,” he took a moment before speaking again. “You know we have a pending conversation.”

“Mhm,” you hummed, feeling the thrill of anticipation course through your body from head to toe. It seemed you weren't the only one who had waited too long for that.

“Do you have something to tell me?”

You turned your head, meeting his profile. The way the city shone in his eyes was magical and you didn't want to focus on anything else but that. Or on the way his eyebrows moved almost imperceptibly under your watchful gaze. Or the relief of his red lips that were almost…

“I think we should start slow.”

Liar.

Bucky turned his head, taking you almost by surprise. His blue eyes looked amused.

“So you agree that we should start?”

“Yes,” you shook your head in sync, his gaze causing you to be as unsettled as possible. “But we'll have to start from scratch.”

“I don't think I can control myself for that long,” Bucky almost whispered, his voice as low as you'd ever heard it before. He wasn't going to let you have it any easier.

“You'll have to learn to do it.”

But you wouldn't give up your arm so easily either. He could continue to provoke you all he wanted, but you'd take things at your own pace.

“You can bet on it,” his face was closer than before, you could almost touch his nose if you moved a little, “but I don't think it would be that easy for you.”

“Do you think I have no self-control? Me?” you frowned at him, but kept your expression warm. The man in front of you only laughed, creating distance between the two of you. A cold air swept over you from where he had been.

“I guess time will tell who will give up first.”

“And it won't be me.”

“Mmm,” Bucky hummed in reproach, shaking his head. “You're very stubborn.”

“There's still a lot you have to learn from me, darling.”

The nickname left your lips unconsciously, but that only made the corners of his lips lift even more. His face looked brighter than before if that was possible. You wanted to take it back, but you'd better think twice. A different, more pleasant and comfortable feeling settled in your chest and your heart seemed to beat to a different rhythm.

“Well, now that we've finally come to an agreement…”

“Halfway,” you interrupted him, rolling your eyes.

“We can start now.”

His eyes on yours felt too meticulous at that moment.

“Now?”

“Yes,” Bucky shrugged. “I can take you dancing right now, shouldn't I take the opportunity?”

You almost choked on your own words. You wanted to deny yourself for a moment, maybe it wasn't true that you were ready and able to safely embrace these new feelings he was generating in you. Maybe you really didn't feel as safe as you thought you did…

But when Bucky extended his hand towards you, with that lopsided smile and sparkling eyes, any negative thoughts disappeared from your head in the blink of an eye. You were afraid of what you two might turn out to be, yes, it was true, but you couldn't spend the rest of your life living like this. Not when already, without even having started, you knew that there would be no other place in the world you wanted to be, nor where you felt as safe as that moment.

When you took his hand securely, you never wanted to let go again, much less if you could continue to see that expression of happiness on Bucky's face. You moved beside him as if you had done it all your life before that moment, and in the life before that.

His fingers intertwined with yours and you felt like you closed a promise in that moment.

“You know, I'm not much of a dancer,” you commented to him as you approached the stairs.

“Don't worry. We have plenty of time for you to learn,” Bucky gave you a reassuring squeeze to accompany his words. “We're just getting started.”

You hoped to enjoy that night as much as you hoped to enjoy all the time you had with him, whatever it was. Despite the fear, you would take him with open arms. It was better that than nothing at all.

Anyway, you were already realizing that that wasn't something you were going to think about very often. Bucky said it himself, you were just getting started.

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buccini555 · 6 months

Text

𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

·˚ ༘ ┊͙Them finding out that you were already in a relationship with one of their friends after he flirted with you ! ˊˎ

⤌H e a d c a n o n s !⤛

. . ⇢ 𝑭𝒕. Mitsuya Takashi, Chifuyu Matsuno, Manjiro Sano, Rindou Haitani and Ran Haitani ˎˊ˗

𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐲𝐚 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢

Mitsuya's calmness is almost envy-inducing, despite this, the boy is easily irritated, not being the type of guy who lets situations go unnoticed before his eyes.

Mitsuya would be totally jealous to see anyone flirting with you, but the jealousy definitely affected him when he discovered your past relationship with that friend of his, making him even more uncomfortable with those flirtations, despite this fact and all this feeling, Mitsuya knew the past remained in the past, making him ignore everything in a way when he calmed down.

"You have questionable tastes when choosing who you have a relationship with, I'm sorry to tell you that." He would say trying to pretend custom, Mitsuya would make sure his friend never flirted with you again.

𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨

Chifuyu is sweet, he avoids showing any negative feelings, but when something bothers him, Matsuno doesn't mind being a little rude sometimes.

"I think the time for you to flirt with her is over, don't you think?" He would say to his friend in front of him in a calm and at the same time threatening tone, Chifuyu became even more jealous when he found out about the relationship left in the past, making a point of making the fact that he had lost you very clear.

He wouldn't be disappointed in you or anything like that, Chifuyu knew how to leave the past in its place, besides, it wasn't a friendship he took so seriously, ending up giving preference to you and ignoring the whole situation to avoid totally unnecessary discussions.

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨

As much as it may not seem like it, Manjiro can be somewhat possessive and jealous when it suits him, seeing someone flirting with you made him deeply irritated, even more so when it was someone he was close to.

After discovering through an affair that you and that friend of his had already had a relationship in the past, Manjiro immediately became jealous.

"Um? You and him? Ewww!" He would say, dissatisfied with the situation, Manjiro didn't seem to be serious, but he was somewhat angry about this past.

"Good thing you're mine now, aren't you? Say, you're just mine." Manjiro would make you say what he wanted until he was satisfied with your speech.

𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

"Have you already been with him? You have a bit of questionable personal taste, don't you? I believe I'm the only exception." Rindou would say ironically about such a discovery, he would be jealous, however, he would just pretend to be accustomed, certainly using this fact to bother you from time to time with unfunny jokes.

He would be uncomfortable seeing you together after finding out about your past and he would also be impatient when he heard anyone flirting with you.

Rindou wouldn't mind to a certain extent, as he always made a point of showing everyone who you belong to, despite being the type who doesn't give a shit, the younger Haitani doesn't mind treating certain matters seriously, for that reason , he would not allow any more advances from his friend.

𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

Ran is certainly not the type of guy who hides his jealousy when something really bothers him, despite not seeming to care about what happens around him, Haitani pays attention to every behavior and actions of the people who are by his side.

He would be uncomfortable seeing his friend flirting with you and would become even more jealous when he found out that you had been in a relationship in the past.

"First of all, ew! What did you see in this guy? I know he's my "friend" but I'm sure I'm much better." Ran would say mockingly, somewhat disbelieving the fact that you had already had a relationship with that person.

Ran would no longer allow flirting or anything like that, now, you belonged only to him and he made a point of making that very clear, he didn't care that much about his friendships, for that reason, in a way, Ran would give you priority.

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cherryxblossxms · 1 year

Text

Masturbation May - Day 2b: With Toys (Toji Fushiguro)

A/N: Toji was suggested by the darling @vampnyx and I decided to go just a little nuts with it. Sometimes you gotta write Toji a little nasty, as a treat. Posted a little late, shhhh

Featuring: GN afab reader || Toji x reader

Warnings: masturbation; roommate!Toji, reader and Toji aren't together; hate sex???/hate masturbation?????; no pronouns for reader, but reader has tits and a vagina; sexual fantasies of reader, Toji is kind of a creep; use of sex toys: fleshlight; Toji steals your underwear; creampie

Word count: 1712

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Toji couldn't stand you. He did a fairly decent job at hiding it, still helping you out around the apartment here and there even without your prompting, fixing up your car when the tire went flat or repairing the fridge when it started leaking. But sometimes you just managed to get on his nerves just right and drive him up a wall.

He hated your trusting demeanor. Despite how open he was of what he thought of as his "true nature", you still seemed to give him the benefit of the doubt, ignoring every red flag thrown your way. He hated the way you'd look up at him with clear eyes and strong resolve, how you seemed to look past all his layers and see his hidden self. And even more, he hated how these made him attracted to you.

It also didn't help that you'd occasionally bring some boring, vanilla dope home, sometimes as a new partner or just some casual fun. It was almost painful to him how boring they were, and he couldn't imagine they were actually any good in the bedroom. He was right there, after all, was he no good? You thought you were too good for him?

Instead of going out and finding these basic, one-pump chumps, you could have him instead. He knows they're not doing the job to satisfy you, evident by the awkward way you would send them off and he never saw them again, or at least not for long. No one would be able to make you scream like he could, and no one's dick would ever compare.

And at first, you'd made an effort to introduce these trysts to Toji, maybe as some weak semblance of telling Toji to back off. But as time went on, you eventually stopped trying, quietly bringing them in instead when Toji was out or simply not acknowledging him, and doing your best to sneak them back out at the end. But he knew, he always knew.

Another way he could tell that these trysts weren't doing anything for you was, late at night when you thought he was asleep or maybe hoped he couldn't hear, he'd hear the telltale buzz of a very special toy. He almost felt bad. Almost. You deserved someone that would rock your world, show you how your lovers were supposed to fuck you.

It wasn't actually intentional on his end, but over time, Toji found his thoughts drifting to you when he sated his appetite, whether that was with himself or he found someone at the bar to bring home. When he heard them moan his name, he couldn't help but wonder what it would sound like in your voice instead. When he came, he wanted to know what it'd look like sprayed across your tits, smeared on your delectable lips, or maybe even dripping out of your holes.

It even got to the point he'd imagine your face when he was fucking someone, wishing it was your sweet pussy he was pounding instead. He knew he needed to do something about this, but he'd be damned if he admitted something stupid like he'd caught feelings for you. So he did the next best thing and took your underwear.

If you knew the things Toji thought about you, maybe you wouldn't want to be roommates anymore. Sometimes you had a sneaking suspicion about the darkness and the lewdness of his thoughts, given the dirty jokes he'd make and how he had no qualms about openly checking you out on a regular basis. But even if you did, you couldn't afford rent in the area by yourself, and you couldn't even bare to think of the process of searching for a new roommate.

Something else seemed to tip you off as well, and it related to finding your... unmentionables in the wrong places, just differently placed enough to know that that wasn't how you'd left it, or sometimes they were just plain gone. But even as the suspicions grew, you just couldn't bring yourself to confront your roommate, always worried about falsely accusing him and honestly, you weren't sure what you'd do if he ever admitted his guilt.

Today, something you'd done (Toji's excuse) had managed to rile him up just right, feeling like a beast in rut, and he sought out your laundry hamper as soon as he knew the coast was clear. It took a little digging, but he managed to find a couple pairs of lacy underwear hidden inside. He quickly stuffed them in his pocket and made his way to his room.

He could feel his blood flowing to his cock even without a touch, throbbing with need to be buried inside your sweet cunt. Since he couldn't do that, his next favorite activity these days was jacking off with your underwear, soaking it in his cum before returning it to your hamper, and that was his same mission today.

He wasted no time in pulling out a fleshlight and bottle of lube from his drawer, something new he'd invested in since meeting you. He had no issue with finding plenty of decent lays at the bars. But ever since discovering his little personal problem, even that didn't seem to be enough anymore. Toys weren't exactly his kind of thing, but it took the edge off for now, and it would have to do until he finally made his move.

Toji didn't bother getting undressed before lying on his bed, just feeling it was a waste of time. When he tugged his sweatpants down, he was already fully hard, cock springing out eagerly, and the cool air was a relief as it hit his skin. He poured some lube into his hand and immediately started palming himself, spreading it evenly, even reaching down to tug his balls a little for more stimulation. He followed with pouring more lube into the toy, next, making use of his middle and ring fingers to get the lube deep inside.

The sight of his fingers disappearing inside the pocket pussy only fueled the monster inside him. He caught his thoughts drifting once more, picturing it was you that he was burying his fingers in, pumping in and out to prep you for his cock. Even better, he wanted to bury his face in there, get squeezed by your thighs as he toyed with your pretty little pussy and overstimulated you as much as he wanted.

Once he felt the lube was spread enough, he worked the opening over his tip, getting situated just right before easing it down his shaft. He always hated this part, feeling how cold it was, knowing that if it was you instead, your body would be so hot and comforting, rather than the cold unfeeling silicone. But as he started pumping the toy over himself, it started to warm up, and pleasure finally began to grow in his body.

The room air began to fill with the sounds of quiet grunts and wet, lewd slapping as his pace increased. He alternated between just working the upper, more sensitive part of his cock, and then slamming the toy down to his base. While his one hand worked the toy, he used the other to work his balls, heavy with seed. The pleasure that had started in his toes slowly crept up his body, filling his abdomen with heat now, and he felt like he was losing his mind.

He hated you, he hated your perfect body, and how perfect your pussy probably was. If there was anyone you should have been fucking, it should have been him. No one would ever make you feel as good as he could, no one would ever breed you as well as he could. He'd wait until you finally realize what you're missing, but it was damned annoying in the meantime.

As he felt his climax finally start to approach, Toji stopped for a moment to change positions. He knelt on the bed, pulling over a couple pillows and your underwear. This time, he wrapped one of the pairs of underwear around the fleshlight, admiring the lace and picturing how it would accent your body, and straddled the pillow.

Once he was in position, he started to rut into the toy, one hand on the pillow to stabilize it and the other hand gripping the underwear-covered toy. In this position now, he could better picture it was you that he was pounding beneath him, reshaping your hole to fit his dick and reaching depths you probably didn't even know of.

His grunts became louder as his pleasure rose again, the squelching of the toy and bouncing of the bed springs combining together to create an obscene symphony. Finally, as Toji's orgasm reached the edge, an image of you leaking his cum came unbidden in his mind, and it pushed him past the point of no return. He unleashed a deep, low moan for the final note of the symphony as he slammed forward into the toy, bottoming out and cumming deep inside the toy.

He could feel his balls clenching still, cock throbbing as it let out the last of its release, his whole body thrumming with his heartbeat. Toji sat for a moment, still straddling the pillow and effectively cockwarming his toy, just catching his breath, before sliding out. Instantly, his cum started trickling out and dribbled onto your underwear, still wrapped around the toy.

He loved the sight of your cum-soaked underwear, and it was always his favorite part of taking it from you. It felt like a step closer to claiming you, a step closer to marking you as his completely, and that thought was responsible for making him hard again well before he'd expected. It would be better if his cum was on your skin instead, but he had to think in baby steps.

He couldn't believe how much you'd affected him to make him so desperate, and wasn't even sure of the last time he'd ever felt this way, if at all. But it just proved to Toji you were someone different, someone he needed. He wasn't quite sure how, yet, but he was going to make it his new mission to make you his.

#toji x reader #fushiguro toji #jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #toji smut #afab reader #spicy minx 🔥#the minx can write ✍️

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atopfourthwall · 6 months

Note

Tbh you lament what people say about you and bemoan "harrassment and bullying". Yet you told RLM to "eat a bag of dicks" unprompted. You said Oneyplays "Are assholes, fuck them!". You'll constantly lecture your own fans, angrily yelling at them for asking when new Power Rangers are out, or for giving you simple, solid advice like below. You say youve calmed down in reviews yet still yell at the comic creators over minor stuff. The comments you complain about getting seem tame in comparison.

Okay, first of all I did not tell RLM to "eat a big of dicks" unprompted. What I said was "Eat a dick, jackass" while talking about the Plinkett Reviews in regards to how parts of them have not aged well, in particular the line that I felt was a bit racist - "Black people don't like Star Wars" (to be clear - I don't think anyone at RLM is racist [AFAIK]. The remark itself feels like it is, though, but that's also emblematic of edgier, wince-inducing internet humor from the time - we're all guilty of awful jokes like this to some degree, myself included). Now I ended up removing this line from the Star Wars Prequel reviews compilation because I realized it was needlessly inflammatory towards them and some perceived it as me attempting to star a beef with them… when of course I don't want to start a beef with ANYONE, much less someone much, MUCH more popular than me.

And no, I did not say Oneyplays "Are assholes, fuck them" (unless I said this on Twitter a long while ago). I'm assuming this is in reference to a part of the Fallout: New Vegas streams. Someone in the superchats asked a question relating to them and my other guests didn't know who they are. I proceeded to spend all of 40 seconds calmly explaining (though admittedly with a bit of light irritation) "They're other streamers, one of whom apparently does a GREAT impression of me. They're also responsible for popularizing calling me Lightbringer, soooo… screw 'em." That was it. But apparently "screw 'em" was TOO MUCH for a lot of people, because I got flooded with hate from that - videos made about how I was "TRIGGERED!" and "HAD A MELTDOWN!" Because that was one of the first public times I ever talked about how I wasn't okay with the nickname. We'll circle back around to this in a minute.

"You'll constantly lecture your own fans, angrily yelling at them for asking when new Power Rangers are out-" Aaand right there you prove that you don't actually watch my stuff. You're just repeating the same garbage from people who ALSO don't watch my stuff, but assume I have not changed at all, that I am the same person forever whose opinions don't change, whose attitude doesn't change, never gets better, etc.

Because I haven't been angry at people asking when the next History of Power Rangers is out in ALMOST TEN YEARS.

And the reason I know that number in particular is because I started my Patreon in 2014. The question annoyed me so much because I didn't have an answer for them and it seemed like they didn't care about anything else I did. But then I started my Patreon and one of the Milestone goals was actual release dates for HOPR. And thus since then I've been able to answer when new ones are coming out.

You want to know how NOT angry I am about the question I am now? I put it on t-shirts.

You can buy them at https://atop-the-fourth-wall.creator-spring.com/listing/when-is-hopr?product=2 and https://atop-the-fourth-wall.creator-spring.com/listing/when-is-hopr-03?product=2 (I was going to post pictures of them but Tumblr keeps breaking when I try). There's a third one, but I don't think I put that one back up because it was intended for Shark Robot where colors are limited and it didn't do very well.

But this is a thing that's brought up by people who hate me - my irritation at the question as if it was still something that bothered me because, again, they cannot conceive that maybe I've changed. No, I am cringe forever and there is nothing I can say or do that will satisfy them.

But no, I "lecture people constantly" evidently. People say I'm obsessed about this topic, about the bullying, that I just talk about it soooo much and I can't move on from it and it haunts my every waking moment and that such "simple, solid advice" like "Be okay with being bullied" is met with unreasonable hostility and my mind fixated on it constantly.

Unless of course you actually look at what I post, what I reblog, what I tweet about and then you discover "Oh, he actually only talks about it when people bring it up to him. He only made that thread because he said the harassment is starting to rise up again and that was days and days ago and hasn't said anything about it since. In fact, on this very Tumblr he's only bringing it up again because somebody ELSE is bringing it up, allowing him a chance to further break down why asshole behavior is still asshole behavior.

So let's bring this back to the "screw 'em" thing. You'll notice that in none of these longer rambling statements I've made have I brought them up. Sure, in that 40 seconds during the stream I did… but that was in the middle of the first wave of it where it really WAS affecting me psychologically hard… and I have not talked about them on stream since then. I don't talk about them in these threads. I don't tell my fans to harass them. I don't make up some nickname for them or mock them or do anything other than maybe some frustration at them during the thread a few years ago (and I am explicitly telling my fans not do so - if you want to be an asshole to them, you can fuck off from my fans). Because I don't WANT to talk about them. They can do whatever the hell they want on their streams. They can call me Lightbringer there, make weird memes about me. It's THEIR space to do with as they please.

The problem is entirely that their fans come to MY space to be assholes. To repeat those memes, to bully me and call me the name. Some do it innocently, thinking I'm okay with it (which, again - is who that thread was directed towards)… but there are others who are being assholes about it. And I'm going to call them assholes about it and block them. And I'm still not going to talk about Oney because I don't want to - they're not the ones who are spamming Lightbringer in my chat or comments or trying to find some way of sneaking it into the comments past my comment filters to try to get a gotcha on me. Hell, I've gotten some people who have said they discovered me and love my stuff now BECAUSE Oney talked about me.

And I'd really like to know which recent review you saw where I was specifically attacking creators in the manner you seem to think I did. Because being angry at a plot point or a narrative decision is not the same thing as attacking a creator. I'll freely tell you about the ones I HAVE specifically called out for shittiness - the racist, the homophobic, the sexual harassers, the transphobic, the one that spread misinformation, or just the greedy assholes. But just looking at the list of the last 50+ episodes I've done that maybe… once or twice? And even despite ALL those horrible things, I STILL tell my fans to leave them alone - to not start fights with them, to not send my videos to them, etc. Because I don't want my fans to be bullies, either.

I will end this with one final thing: "The comments you complain about getting seem tame in comparison." Yeah, well, that's because you're you and I'm me. Something that seems innocuous to one person may be deeply triggering for someone else. Something that seems like an innocent joke might actually be really fucking with someone mentally, as it was for me. And that's why I've tried to tell people "Hey, please don't do that." Maybe I do it aggressively. But sometimes that's the only way people will listen. If people are still doing it even after I've expressed how much it harms me - telling me that I should just "get over it" or "let them do it and respond with a laugh" even though I keep saying it DOES affect me, then those people are assholes and I don't see why I should give them the time of day.

Hopefully this lengthy response (I really am a windbag) helps people understand or it clears up some bullshit. And if it's still not good enough for you, then nothing less than complete capitulation to being called Lightbringer is the only thing that will satisfy you… well, fuck off.

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not-a-big-slay · 2 months

Text

Until it doesn't hurt

kaz brekker x fem!reader

summary:betrayal leaves some wounds behind, but even more questions when you can't figured out from whom it really came from.

warnings: violence, cursing

type: fluff

part: 12/13

previous part: part 11 masterlist

a/n: please, please, PLEASEEUHH im SO SO SORRY! it has been almost a FUCKING YEAR SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER?! HELLO?! WHO TF DO I THINK I AM? i need to keep myself in line cuz this aint normal! i have been hiatus for soo long i need to pull it together. anywayy, its finished finally. its long ahh hell and im gonna be working on another part immediately so it wont be another 50 years dw. dont mind any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and i have written one half of this in 2023, so i really dont feel like redoing it lol. i dare you if you can recognize where exactly i picked this draft up again. anyway, pleasee enjoy!!

also, sike, its not the last part hehe, there will be part 13 AND an epilogue

taglist (hi yall :'))

@chickencouncilrep

@venomsvl

@happy-nico

@twlegit

@ravenmedows

@blathena

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She had lost again.

That would be the third time tonight. Her change was getting thin and she predicted it would take one more game before she had to go kill someone for free again. So much for making a ton of money with this job. The girl watched her opponent spoon the coins from the table with one hand, laughing: "One more game and I'll have to dig up another grave, Y/N." Others laughed, so she wasn't the only one thinking that after all. It was logical, she really had to stop playing with grown men, they wasted away their old nights playing poker at this very table and she had other, young people things to do. It would be wise to get up and leave, no one would judge her for that. They would maybe even cheer her on, finally making a rational decision, no one ever seen that before when it came to her. Yet the thought of doing so was being blocked by a high indestructable wall, one that never goes away and will only be built higher.

If she does leave, she has to go home.

Her mother is probably fast asleep already, it is possible she could go to bed unnoticed and leave early in the morning. This option she used very little as Y/N never wanted to come back there. A year ago, after her mother left her blood soak through the wooden floor, Y/N made promise into her scars that she will never lay eyes on mother again. She successed in that for a year so far, becoming a hitman that was quite infamous in town. But her fame started growing from mockery, as she was really addicted to poker.

Her eyes gazed on Tim, the cemetary worker, the buryer as she liked to call him. He was one of the granpas at this table, but one of the peaceful people in town. He never wanted her to kill, just to help him with his work, although Y/N hated it more than the murders, she didn't like the aftermath of her work. Tim, being satisfied, started organizing the coins on the table. No, she cannot go home tonight.

"So what's it gonna be, kid?" asked the other player, Miyka. Her green eyes stared on Y/N's face, her wrinkles scrunched in excitment. Oh, how she hated all of them. The girl faked thinking about it before tossing dramatically her last money onto the table. "I bet 20." It didn't sound as good when she started that low, but it was all she had left. Intstead of the usual giggle and witty lines and jokes they threw her way before following up on her bad choices, they sighed, almost in dissapointment. It frustrated her, it seemed like they cared what she does instead of what amount of money she holds. It seemed like they cared about her. A wave of fear pushed her like a tsunami at this thought. People that cared ended up hating her, hurting her.

"What!" she snapped. Miyka looked at Lios, her brother, in concern, while Tim silently reorganized his coins. She looked around the table, frown getting deeper and frustration blooming wider. What was wrong with them. "Well, Y/N" Lios began, "We are just kinda...worried about you. That's all." Miyka took the word next- her previous question has been an obvious tease, the girl was dissapointed. "You clearly have nowhere to go, so you are spending your time here which is.... we get it, but." She sighed, trying to find the right words. "It's not good." Tim helped her and smiled at Y/N as if it would calm her. It did not in fact, she felt more and more anxious about their care, anxious situations made her angry. She wondered why she didn't kill them all instead of those free targets, she would never have to pay another debt again, because there would be no poker players left to play and her addiction would dissapear. "So that's it, huh? You ain't gonna play because you are scared I could actually win?" she said in her defense. Nonsense, she knew, but her heart was sweating and she was glad it didn't blow up yet. "We just care, Y/N, that-"

"Care?! Remind me Lios of just how many people I killed for you, then talk about caring for someone's life!" she spat as she stood up. Lios was more than content to her way of paying, she had no idea why he apparently cared when he could have another enemy at his feet if he just played one more game. Miyka tried to calm her down, touching her hand softly only for Y/N to flinch, hard. Her vision began to blur, the floor shook beneath her and sweat poured on her face. It was like the room was on fire, but she was the only one feeling it. Other people at the pub, being entertainted by the game or simply just hanging ot there, looked worried, some even disturbed by her behaviour.

What was happening to her?

She leaned on the table with her palms, the wood trying to ground her as she closed her eyes to not feel theirs. Voices of the players echoed her head as sounds in a cave and they felt distant, but still could make her more nervous with their caring attitude. They soon fell in whispers, driving her insane. Then, she caught one voice that silenced all the muttering, it was clear, quiet yet she felt as if its breath was in her ear. "Why play, when you can take a life for the exact amount of money laying on this table?"

She recognized the voice, it belong to the fourth player, Haltt. His voice was known only in the game. Hearing him say a sentence was unusual and therefore very powerful. It was deep, low, hard. It had authority and respect and it didn't need to ask for it. He had everyone's attention, he controlled the room with only his silent voice.

Y/N's eyes looked into his dark ones, she had to find them in the shadows floating around him, as if he commanded to them as well. "What are you saying?" she asked carefully, not knowing why. Haltt observed the table, his salt-and-pepper- although more salt than pepper- short beard surrounding his mouth as it counted the cash, then let out a little chuckle that brought goosebumps to everyone close to him. "920 Neredi. Being a hitman, a respectful hitman, would make this amount your pocket change." He grabbed the rest of her money she threw on the table and looked over to Tim. The buryer shook his head hesitantly, knowing what Haltt wants to do, but all it took was the man's neutral gaze for Tim to fold. Y/N watched him slowly scooping the money and anger took over. She pinned his hand to the table, not looking away from his face. She could hear people drawing breaths in fear, but she was free from all the anxiety now, she was grounded by his scary presence, she liked it even.

Haltt's head slowly turned to her direction, his eyes creating a straight path to hers, his eyebrows climbing up as he said softly: " You want this?" When she didn't respond, he stood up, took her hand off of his gently, not letting go as his freed hand reached behind his back, pulling out a gun. She observed quickly, it was an older model, it was small and only one bullet fit into it- however she knew a man like Haltt would only ever need one bullet- he then rotated her hand and placed it in her palm. He released her only when she seized it. Y/N let her hand warm the handle before looking up at Haltt again. "Then go make it." he finished his statement and sat back down in the shadows. Y/N checked the inside of the gun and she confirmed her knowledge about it.

She scoffed. "One bullet" Haltt nodded as if he answered to her statement. "That's all you need, I know your skills." his glass clincked when his rings touched it, raising it to his lips. She waited until he drank the remainings of his whiskey, having the suspision he might continue. "You kill the target, you'll get double of this." Her surprise was voiced by everyone around her, gasping and unbelievably whispering. Lios looked at Haltt, telling him he cannot do this. But Haltt only looked at her. "No one here wants you to play. You made them care, something a hitman shouldn't do." She squeezed her free hand into a fist, knowing his eyes are reading her like cards on the table. He leaned in: "Take your reputation back, make them fear you instead." he said quietly and it seemed only she heard it. He retreated back into his seat, letting her simmer in his words.

She knew people stopped perceiving her as a threat, a force to be reckon with, a fearful killer, and started to look at her as a 15 year old that sometimes threw tantrums. People smiled at her, old men laughed at her when they drank beer at the bar, as if she was their granddaughter doing silly things. Once, she was feared, but now she behaved like an old woman trapped inside a teenage body with gambling addiction and alcoholism. Everyone treated her as a kid she never was, but Haltt seemed to remember who she was 6 months ago, to trust her potential, her skills she never lost, but used them to not drown in debts, not to her job. She suddenly became so connected to him, she was hypnotized. The sound of the chatty room blurred again as she explored the gray ocean behind Haltt's eyes. He let her, grinning as he watched her back straighten and her nose breathing in deeply. Then came the question:

"Who is the target?"

Halt's smile stabbed through his cheeks as he answered.

-----------------------------------------------

Inej didn't allow herself a break until she got the that exact building Y/N told her to. She was nervous to say the least. If everything goes right, Pekka Rollins will be dead. It was unbelievable to even think about. The moonlight caressed her back and the salty wind danced around her in excitment. Ketterdam is cheering for them, it will be better off without Rollins. She thought of ways how to carve his heart out, she wanted to make a heart-shaped hole, but it was too complicated making the curves, it would take too long and she didn't want him to die before she was finished. She needed something quick, but symbolic. After all, when the stadwatch will find his body, her work should be admired. Or Deln's work, she hated he will take credit for it, but it's definitely for the best.

Soon, the spider heard two sets of footsteps beneath her. She looked down carefully, confirming it's Y/N. In the dark, she couldn't much see her 'friend', but she could feel the disgust and fear Y/N had from above, suspecting he might not be an actual friend after all. Another secret of hers she wished to uncover after this is over. The way Jesper talked about this girl is riling up an interest in her. She wanted to get to know her better, her fate might not much differ from her own and she would like to hear her story, she would like to see why Kaz seemed to hate her so much. She also hoped Y/N will stay with them after this. For Jesper's sake and maybe for Nina's nerves as she looked worried about her.

As Y/N dissapeared into the alley, Inej grabbed her knife, Sankt Petyr, that she sharpened moments before. The wind picked up and she stood motionlessly at the edge of the building. She watched lightened windows in the Smeet Residence, hoping no one will think about looking outside tonight. The house reminded her of one she encountered at the southern colonies of Novyi Zem. It was in a horrible shape compared to this, but it was a haven for the citizens there, they admired it like people in Ketterdam admire The Exchange. It was luxurious given the state of the land.

Her train of thought stopped before it reached a station, because her ears picked up a subtle voice, then a laugh. The sounds got louder as they slowly approached her. Rollins must be pretty nervous of the meet-up if he talked to himself, or he was not alone. A slight panic rose in Inej's chest and she prepared to make the uninvited dissapear. If Rollins truly had some company, she would have to wait until he saw Y/N to take it out, otherwise he might see her and change his mind. If we won't do it, somebody else will brought out fire in her stomach. The girl was right, if they won't try the lovely dessert of revenge, others might eat it whole with no crumbs left. She suspected Pekka is the main character in many unfinished death threats and planned out vengeances.

The Wraith took a deep breath as her eyes closed, slowing down her rapid heartbeat filled with excitment. When she opened them, the bright windows from the residence, along with the dimmed lights on the streets aluminated two beings walking. One was definitely the leader of one of the most dangerous gangs in Ketterdam.

And so was the other one.

She silently gasped, panicking again, her heartbeat picking up. What the fuck is Kaz doing here? And why was he bent over with Rollins' hand around his neck. Even though they were right across her, Inej was oblivious to their conversation- well, monologue if she was more accurate- because she was way too busy feeling the plan fall apart. This wasn't supposed to happen, Kaz was meant to know nothing and then just cheer and celebrate once they'd be done. Why did he always took matters into his hands?.

When she came back to reality, they were almost in the alleyway. The spider quickly followed them, never taking her eyes off of Kaz's helpless form. Her hands always gently grazed any surface she incountered, her feet always landing on the tips of her toes, her moves inspiring every ballerina in Kerch, yet now her hands were sliding off roughly and she had to bent her knees to make the landing silent. Her fear of her friend manipulated her body and she almost fell over the edge when the sharp turn of the building made an appearance, luckily she awokened from the feeling and stopped herself.

She was above the meeting place now.

On her right was Y/N with the strange man. Y/N was anxiously pacing around, obviously worried as they all were, even the man next to her who stood still as a pole was taking almost unseeable shuttered breaths. When the girl faced her direction, Inej wanted to warn her of the unexpected turn of events, but she wouldn't be seen anyway. As it turned out though, she also wouldn't have the time to catch her attention in time as the target slowly showed up on her left side, Kaz still in his grasp. Up close she could see the knife he held to his neck, already cut into the flesh. The man on her right stopped breathing and tried to hide his widened eyes, Rollins smirked as he saw him, shaking his head in disbelief. But the tension really sparked up when Y/N finally saw them, her eyes instantly digging into Kaz, while his were already screaming at her. Only two words bound them all together as they appeared on every present mind.

Oh fuck.

---------------------------------------------

Silence started perhaps being uncomfortable for Deln, yet Y/N only cared about the boy 5 meters in front of her. He wore blood, a lot of blood. His face showed bruises for every Barrel rat and every drop of blood that fell next to his feet tore a piece of her heart. But the worst thing was his expression, it was no longer hateful, nor angry. His eyes sinked into her and they washed her with almost a relief-like feeling, like he was happy to see her, or maybe upset to see her here, in a dangerous street that will be painted red by more than one person. His gaze was soft, almost pleading her to either run away or get closer to him.

He was worried.

"I told you to come alone if my memory is still serving right." Deln began the conversation, dragging both of their attention to him. He earned a chuckle from Rollins and a response as he squeezed Kaz's neck, straightening him up: "Well, I thought I might get the lovebirds back together, eh?" The knife retreated back to his pocket, revealing a red line on the boy's neck. Y/N allowed herself to let one tear roll down her cheek as an apology to him. Pekka must have kidnapped him, because there was no other explanation on why was he present. Deln was confused, he didn't know Dirtyhands as far as she knew, nor about her time with Hertzoon. "Aw, look at 'em, already pining for each other." Rollins mocked and pushed Kaz off of his hand. Y/N had a hard time keeping it together.

Deln sighed annoyingly and the hitman was glad he kept the plan on track. It was hard to admit he was actually a big help to her. "Whatever, let's talk business shall we? It's cold tonight. Don't wanna be out late." he said offered and Rollins laughed in his face again: "What, gotta read the slaves a goodnight story?" If she wasn't still in shock from Kaz, the plan would skip to the killing part very quickly. "Well, not anymore since you took 'em all away, didn't you." the slaver stated and wiped the smile off of Pekka's face quickly. Y/N had to admit he played the role she made for him perfectly and let the conversation rest in his hands, as she continued to worry silently about the bloodied boy.

The Dime Lions' leader seemed to get upset about Deln's forwardness, he probably thought he could talk his way out of it with his disturbing charm. He put his hands on his hips and shrugged. "It ain't my problem you keep 'em in a dirty warehouse. I offered them a room with a comfortable bed and good money if they were willing to smile. That ain't no crime, lad."

"I'm not interested in your architectural opinion on my slave-keeping. I am upset you stole my property." Y/N was very invested in the conversation she almost forgot her role was against Deln. Her tied hands turned him to her side by the shoulder and pierced him with her eyes. "Don't speak of them like that." she warned and he simpy scoffed her off. It wasn't much, she must admit, but it was enough to voice her stand in this matter. "HA! And what do you think you'll be after we're done here? You will be lucky if I allow you to work in my brothel." the last sentence was a warning, he could be so much cruel to her, like he was in his house. She was present finally, all worry stepped aside to make space for the anger she held and the focus she held earlier tonight sat back down on her mind.

"You won't touch her."

Ready to speak, Y/N was taken aback by his raspy voice with scary undertone. He spoke to her like that, not long ago. It was almost unreal he was defending her. As much as it brought shivers down her body, Rollins was unfazed by the threat. "You can barely stand, boy. What can you possibly do to me." he stated the obvious and continued once he looked her way again. "Besides, she really isn't worthy of your protection." He put one foot in front of the other slowly, walking over to her. She was on alert, if she had the opportunity, she wouldn't wait anymore and strangle him with her tired hands and her desire to dig his grave. He stopped few steps from her and reached into his pocket again, pulling out something else than a knife this time. "Lost this?"

A thin, almost not visible in the dark, black string was held between his fingers. The bracelet she lost. The one Kaz gave her on the last day they saw each other. She lost it in Rollins' office. Her temptation to reach for it was unseen by Y/N as her first instinct was to look at Kaz, who also drowned in the vision of the string. She broke her promise, a childish one, sure, but it destroyed her still. It always served as a reminder of her failure. How she failed to warn him and Jordie, how she wrapped his heart around her finger without knowing it and allowed Hertzoon to shatter it. The girl promised herself to not mess up this promise, at least one thing she could keep. In the end, she lost it too.

How does she deserve to live after destroying all good in her life?

"Yeah, cruel isn't she? Do you really think she cares about you, or anyone for that matter?" he talked to Kaz that was still mesmerized by the sight in Rollins' hand. Deln was silently watching the scene, the situation out of his hands now, the plan off of track. "You don't know anything about her, boy-". " You're wrong." she interrupted him. He turned to her, waiting to elaborate, the string still lifted between his fingers as if he was trying to hypnotize them. "I told him everything." Y/N continued as she silently wished with the last bit of hope he would take the bait. He didn't:

"Everything, eh?" he echoed as he turned his back on her and focused on Kaz fully. As he reached his personal space, his hand streched to him, giving him the bracelet. The boy fixated on it, swaying with the wind due to his trouble standing on the one good leg for this long. Rollins watched him closely, feeling Kaz's hand taking it almost immediately. When his coffee-like eyes reached his snake ones, Pekka uncovered Y/N's lie:

"Do you remember Ms. Hertzoon?"

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"...You what?"

"Don't you dare be offended, you manipulated her and then left us. You're as bad as I am."

That made them punch her strongly in the stomach. Funny, Rollins wanted to watch her suffer, but was too lazy to torture her himself. They were on this for 2 hours now, or she at least thought so, she couldn't tell if the ringing was only in her ears. Rollins had her sit on a chair and then asked questions. The first were stupid and simple, almost like a small talk: Did she rob him, why is she back, when did she get back, etc. She earned 5 different punches in this round. Then the latter began. They wanted to know what happened after the con trick- as he called it- which resulted in her split lip and first blood drawn. Then another small talk, remembering all their time together and then, the truth. "Where is your mother?" it began and ended in countless of other painful things she couldn't be bothered to remember.

"How." he almost whispered, it was so dramatic that Y/N would laugh if she wasn't wheezing with every breath. "Oh, please. Like you care." she fully expected the hit for that one, though it still hurt like hell. "How!" he ordered her and watched her grow a grin with her painted-red mouth. She could still feel the little gun in her little hand, standing at the foot of her mother's bed. She watched her sleep for a moment before she truly aimed. Haltt was right, it did get back her reputation. He gave her the money and she counted every single coin to make sure it really was doubled. Fortunately, he was an honest man.

"One bullet was all it took."

To say she regretted it would be a lie, the biggest one in history maybe. She second-guessed it on her way home, sure, but she more doubted Haltt's promise than her actions. However, once she really saw her mother's chest rise and fall, nothing was easier than to pull the trigger. If she was a monster in her eyes, she would become one in her memory.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" was the last thing she heard from him, then her ears were filled with ringing and also pain when her nerves couldn't take it anymore. Everything went dark after a while, she was sure she couldn't breath and her eyes zipped themselves tightly, but even though she lost consciousness, she was sure she never stopped smiling while it lasted.

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He always suspected some part of her story was left out, it would be unwise to tell him everything and she was not stupid. While Kaz did predict that something happened with the mother, he didn't expect this. He answered her eyes as they asked for connection and tried to assure them of his unchanged opinion. So what? He also done horrible things, they all have, especially Rollins. Such a hypocrite, that man. When he finished re-telling the story of Y/N's torture, he retreated from the boy's space, fortunately for him, because Kaz would have no hesitation in twisting Pekka's neck. Everything was silent for a while, the wind whispered cold around them as they all studied each other. Kaz looked at the building's roof next to them, seeing only darkness, but feeling her presence. He hoped that whatever Y/N planned to do with Inej would be useful. And what did he know, maybe this situation is going extremely well for them.

"Well, that is truly shocking, but unfortunetely, Y/N's dead mom won't solve this conflict. So let's solve it ourselves, shall we?" The slaver spoke and grabbed the girl next to him by the bicep, dragging her with him closer to Rollins. Kaz took a small, unnecessary step forward as a move to help her. Seeing Deln's hand on her made the water rise around him, he could feel her discomfort and felt it himself. They stopped and he threw the girl in front of him lightly, so she wouldn't fall, but aggressively enough, so she would sway. "Pay me for the slaves and she's yours, as promised." the boy's fist turned white at that, wishing he could hang Deln's organs at the lamppost. "Hmmm" groaned Rollins in thinking. "How much do ya want?"

"3000 kruge."

"Pardon?"

Deln rolled his eyes. "It was 100 slaves you stole from me, every slave is expensive and believe me, I'm giving you a discount right now." Rollins nodded at his explanation. At this point, Kaz thought about getting out of there. He was being ignored and would be forgotten in a while. Rollins couldn't see him, Deln could, but he doubted he would care. However, she could too, and his heart radiated an unfamiliar feeling at the thought of dissapearing without Y/N. If this situation happened with anyone else, he'd be already at the Slat, drinking shots and drowning in silence of his room. Dirtyhands planned the escape, Kaz refused to go through with it. He refused to leave her. "Alright, alright. How about this." Rollins spoke his thoughts. "I'll give you half of what they make me from now on and if you ever wander in the Sweet Shop, you won't have to pay." Deln was silent, but he was clearly concidering it.

"Huh? Sounds good?" Smiling Pekka streched out his hand and waited for a handshake. Every set of eyes watched Deln's movement, from his step closer, closer to Rollins, closer to Y/N, until he squeezed Pekka's hand, reflecting his expression. "That's a deal, then." said the robber. "Deal." said the slaver. Kaz didn't know what that meant and from the girl's face, he could tell the confusion was shared. Although, he truly realized this wasn't part of their plan after Deln quickly reached for Y/N's belt with the same hand that just closed a deal, pulling out a small gun, one that could barely fit a bullet, and aiming it at the hitman. She was frightened, taking steps back, but she didn't got very far when Deln grabbed her by the collar, holding her close to his body.

"Like mother like daughter."

He was instantly on the move, as fast as he could, trying to prevent what was about to happen. The bullet was faster though. Before hearing the gunshot, they heard Deln's scream. Y/N felt to the ground and Kaz was at her side immediately. His eyes panicking, trying to find the wound while his heart sounded the alarms and awakened fear. Not like this. He couldn't lose her like this. He soon found the gunshot and without thinking threw his hands to press it down. They never made contact with it, Rollins' knife already found its way back to his neck, pulling him away from her. "You didn't think I forgot about you, did ya?" he laughed in his ear before Kaz threw his head back, hitting him in the nose. The grip got loose and he turned around, sending his anger and frustration in his fist. Rollins tumbled and he kicked him on the ground, getting him closer to the place he belongs.

Deln moaned in pain and the boy finally saw the reason. Below his bent over form, a puddle of blood formed and in it swam his thumb, right above Sankt Petyr. The corners of his mouth lifted a bit, he couldn't remember how did he survive all this time without Inej watching over him and the crows, it made him grateful she is back for now. His eyes were set to find Y/N again, but he only saw a red trace from where she laid. She must've gotten away. Good girl.

He couldn't follow her steps, because Rollins already got up from the cobblestones, ready to strike. He breathed heavily, supporting the place Kaz kicked him in with his hand. He couldn't understand why Rollins always came back into his life. He tried to avoid him all his time in Ketterdam, yet life always brought them together. Or death, he wasn't sure, maybe they were destined to destroy each other. Pekka Rollins was like a mosquito bite: itching to be noticed and when Kaz does so, he feels a brief satisfaction before the itch comes back and is worse than before. He was also as annoying. It needed to be finished right here and tonight

The boy braced himself and waited on the mosquito's move, straightening himself. Little did he know, the shadow from above already closed in on the man. Kaz watched as she kicked his knee from the back and caught his hair, stopping him from falling fully on the ground again. Sankta Lizabeta could be soon visible above his heart, the tip waiting to be pushed in. Only then, Dirtyhands quietly sighed in relief.

"He still can't do it without ya, huh? Tell me boy, when will you start being a man and do things on your own?" Rollins mocked them as he recognized the face, which currently held the future of his heartbeat. Kaz limped slowly closer, feeling Inej's eyes on him. He lowered his head once he entered Pekka's personal space dangerously deep. "When my brother will get his revenge in hell."

As soon as the menacing words reached Rollins, his lips twitched up at the sight of Sankta Lizabeta slowly painting an imaginery outline of the man's heart, being applauded by his blood-curling scream. Inej wasn't the one for torture, but he could see the bit of joy in her eyes and the relief on her face. She deserved to be the one that would free Ketterdam from this parasite and he let her have it, already searching for the bloody trail Y/N left behind.

His eyes alerted him when they caught it and he began to follow the path, slowly, limping as Deln's whines cheered him on.

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The stars were with her, sometimes changing their position or widening in her eyes as they waited to claim her. Salty waterdrops tapped her tired legs, reminding her of where she sat. She imagined death many times, it wasn't unusual for someone in her profession. She remembered Tim talking about the peace that comes with it, saying it is kind, so it would be easier for the soul to leave the body. For her, it was obvious. Everything would be kinder than life. However, nothing could prepare her for the last moments. Y/N realized that no matter how much you imagine it, it will always surprise you. The knowing that this is the last time she is going to exist in wasn't something her brain could comprehend. Maybe that was the mystery death held, that was the fuel for the fear in others, not understanding until it was too late.

Wind played softly with her hair while it kissed the bruises of her now untied hands, and she tried hard to feel everything at the same time. The clothes touching her skin, the numbness in her feet, her shaky breath as it entered and left her system, but mostly, she tried to memorize the pain in her stomache and the bullet inside her body. It was an intense feeling, so she wanted to feel it as much as possible, before it would fade and with it her heart.

The hitman got hit.

This is how her victims probably felt. She brought this feeling to numerous lives. Her mother felt this way too. Y/N couldn't decide if dying felt good or disgusting, but she could be certain it was lonely. Even if people surrounded her, it wouldn't be better. It was an experience for her soul, no one from the outside could empathize.

She wondered where her grave would lay as the slow footsteps got closer. Y/N heard him limp next to her and it seemed like the stars noticed him too, because they stopped moving once he sat down, as though they only wanted to be seen by her. He was visibly tired, still bleeding from his neck.

Maybe he was feeling the final presence too.

Maybe her starts would take them both.

Silence and the waves crashing made the space between them comfortable, maybe too comfortable for her liking. His breath was disrupting hers as it naturally tried to match the rhythm. The moment became so peaceful, she almost forgot about their history. It felt like nothing happened between them, they were just kids, sitting by the port, watching stars and listening to the ocean. They weren't Dirtyhands and Saskia. They weren't the Bastard of the Barell and Snowflake.

They were Y/N and Kaz. As they were always meant to be.

"Do you believe in faith?"

It felt like yesterday since he asked her that question. Every shared memory of them felt so close to her now, as if time was all messed up. Maybe death was already doing its job. Kaz was taking his time with the answer, breathing heavily, as if the air had to fill his words first before she could hear them.

"Yes...I do."

He exhaled, his low empty voice responding. Her lips lifted into a messy smile, her muscles were losing their power all over her body, but that didn't stop her from reaching into her coat and pulling out a folded, bloodied paper that her fingers swiftly grabbed from her slaver's back pocket before he could shoot her. It was almost bizzare, how a small, easily rippable piece made her revisit the demons of the past. She wondered if Deln wanted this all along. Maybe he wanted Rollins to kill her, so he could make his deal with him. Or maybe it was just faith, wanting to see how far she would go for a false sense of freedom.

"It doesn't mean anything." Y/N stated as she felt Kaz looking at the release paper. "I just needed proof that I'm not under anyone's influence anymore, but..." her eyes followed the ongoing waves. They looked like on a leash, as if someone released them, so they could explode onto the harbor's walls, only to pull them back again shortly after, reminding them they were still being controlled. It seemed torturous, humiliating. It looked like her. "...I will never be free of him."

Y/N couldn't look at the boy, even if his burning gaze could only be extinguished by an eye contact. He was right, she was a monster. She could see it now and she wouldn't hide from this fact. She would accept herself before her heart would stop singing. It was the least she could do with the very limited time, coming to terms with her own self.

The stars started moving again slowly as Kaz spoke: "He can't control you anymore..." His tone showed certainty. Inej had to claim her souvenir of revenge by now, but he still managed to squeeze out a scoff from the hitman. She couldn't believe he allowed himself to be so naïve. Rainbow won't repair the damage done by storm, same as killing Pekka Rollins won't erase his actions and the following conciquences. His influence made her do things beyond his leadership. It scarred her for life, and those scars bled onto others without the possibility to heal. She bled on him too. She killed his brother for fuck's sake.

"The things he caused precedes him." Y/N finally looked at Kaz, his eyes seemed to be glowing in her hallucinating mind. "I can't be changed." She whispered, knowing he would hear every single letter. The moon illuminated him perfectly. His features casted a soft look under its light and Y/N was glad this would be the appearence of him she would take to her grave. She was happy to become one of the stars that would continue to shine on him.

Suddenly, death seemed very pretty.

The girl saw his hand on hers before she could feel it. It was weirdly warm, even though he barely touched her. His eyes demanded her ears' attention as he spoke, slowly, so she could feel the words. "You don't need to be changed."

Her mind was confused. How could he even speak such things?

"I am a killer." she reminded him.

"Not by choice." he argued.

"I killed my own mother and enjoyed it." she was restless in making him hate her.

"Your mother's conciquences of her own actions." he dodged her attempt.

"I killed your brother." was when she knew she would win. It wasn't excusable. Nothing could possibly erase this from Kaz's mind, no apology was enough, she was certain. That was the reason she couldn't understand why Kaz's hand began to hold hers more tightly as his eyes studied the wound in her stomache, covered by her arm that desperately tried to prevent the blood from pouring out, but it became more and more hopeless. "You're dying and not doing anything about it." he aknowleged. Y/N smiled briefly, from pain and also from his slow understanding of her plan.

"I deserve it." she spoke weakly, every word felt heavy on her tongue and she was about to give in to their weight. He only observed her, as her body was slowly losing the ability to move, as her energy was being sipped by the waves below. It suddenly felt a bit scary for her, she was in the process of dying and it strangely ignited the last bit of her will to live.

Kaz did nothing, he only asked: "Why?" She looked at him, her eyes shooting fear. She guessed she would engage with every emotion before turning off. Maybe the nature granted this privilege to every person, so they would get to have the proper goodbye to their body.

"I never done anything good, I only brought pain." her lips responded, making Kaz nod slowly. Y/N gasped softly as the fear intensified. This feeling was unlike any before, like her life was slowly slipping through her body, through the wound. Her arm pressed tightly, as much as she could to slow down the inevitable, but it was too late. "Maybe it's time to change that." Kaz spoke. She wouldn't be able to change her ways if she died, the only thing she would remember about this life was how she made it difficult for everyone else.

Y/N sighed, death was almost touching her, heart was losing its music. She no longer felt the waterdrops on her legs and the stars dimmed their light. "It's too late."

The port beneath her began to sway, as if it would tip over to the ocean anytime. She gripped the concrete edge, slipping her hand from Kaz's to do so, trying to stop it from moving, only for it to sway more. She picked her eyes up at the sky, seeing only her five stars in the black treacle sky, as her body pushed closer to the waves.

Death awaited her.

Like those waves, Y/N was suddenly pulled back by someone's hands, feeling her body lift up from the port, supported in the air. Her form bounced with every other step and another warm breath kept mixing with hers. She imagined those arms were of an angel, bringing her to heaven. Or a devil, bringing her to hell. She gave into its touch nonetheless.

"I know you're not very good at keeping them, but would you promise me one last thing?" a voice asked her, a low and a tired one. One that could only belong to an angel the way it kept her dying heart beating. The girl could only hum, agreeing to the angel's request. The voice sounded serious, threatening almost, but she could hear the worry hidden behind it, as it spoke.

"Don't make me lose you."

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Nina whined, having trouble with breathing as her hands shook from the need to be put down. She saved the Dregs numerous times from a certain death, yet Y/N exceeded her expectations. The heartender tried her very best to wake her heart up, while Jesper and Wylan panicked to pull out the bullet and seize the wound, so no more blood would be lost. What wasn't helpful, though, was Brekker, constantly yelling at them for trying harder. She understood that his anger was powered by the fear for that girl, but that didn't put out the urge to fill his face with more wounds, maybe a broken nose even.

"I swear, Nina. If she dies.." he exclaimed again, not helping the situation in any way.

"It will be on you!" Nina barked at him, frustration clearly visible not only on her tone, but her tired features. Her eyes shot to Jesper and Wylan an apologizing look as she saw their hands bloodied and faces worried. The door swinged open behind her, revealing Inej. Nina felt relief wash over her as she saw her. Kaz would maybe stop being such an asshole in her presence.

"Is she breathing?" Inej asked and immediately moved to Y/N's lying form, putting her cheek above her nose. "Barely." Wylan answered stressfully. Kaz's worry shifted to fear, Nina could sense that, even when her full focus was on the hitman's weak heart. She was barely alive, but the heartender was still surprised it could beat. She was strong and Nina hoped she would continue to fight.

Jesper gasped heavily and looked at her. "The wound's sealed!" he sounded so hopeful and it brought Nina some strenght to see him like this. She had to take quick breaths before tightening her hands in the air one more time, fastening Y/N's heartbeat. Fortunetely, it worked. "She's breathing again!" Inej said with a small smile, causing Kaz to limp closer to see for himself. His own wounds weren't yet treated, but Nina didn't even try to convince him. He had trouble looking after himself when one of them was hurt, she could imagine how much worse it was in this case, where his heartbeat's fire was on the brink of death.

She could feel the heartbeat pick up to a slow pace. It wasn't yet normal, but at least she didn't have to control it now. Nina put her hands down and fell down on an armchair beside her. Everyone in the room fell victims to exhaustion, Nina closed her eyes for a moment, just focusing on her breathing. Wylan was the first to stand up and slowly make his way out of the room with the words she'll be alright, Nina, you did a great job. Jesper followed, squeezing Nina's shoulder and nodding shortly at Kaz, before the door closed after him too.

"You either let me treat your wounds or you will go and get some sleep." she offered to the man, her eyes fixated on Y/N. She was glad he, at least, wrapped his neck in a bandage during this hard time, but he had other quite serious wounds she had to treat sooner or later. Kaz allowed himself to be predictable as he stared at the hitman and then slowly limped out of the room. Before he did though, he surprised her after all.

"Thank you."

Nina's head snapped his way and watched him leave, she didn't expect that. Inej sat next to her on the armrest, following her eyes to the laying girl. "You should rest as well, I know how tired you are." the heartender studied her features with a caring look. Her friend fought the sleep well so far, which she hated to see. "I'm not leaving you alone." the spider said with a decisive eyes connecting with hers. She knew the heartender couldn't sleep herself, as she had to look out for Y/N's heart. Nina flashed a defeated smile. She was grateful for her presence, she missed her a lot, but it would ease her mind if she went to sleep. However, knowing her stubborn mind, she scooted over to the very side, creating a tiny space for Inej to sit, which her friend accepted with a smile.

"Alright then. Tell me how you killed Rollins and DON'T spare any details."

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chadfallout76podcast · 11 months

Text

Death Shroud Q&A (submitted by @completely-legit)

completely-legit submitted:

10h ago

Death Shroud Q&A!

Writing Questions

Q: 1. "You only ever took one of us." – Paladin Danse, Death Shroud Meta jokes aside, it's obvious you enjoyed playing some of the best of Fallout 4's cast off of each other in ways that we weren't able to get in the game due to the mechanical restrictions of the gameplay. Which was your favorite dynamic between characters to write?

A: Honestly I loved writing all of it. By the time you're well into the story the Red Rocket is filled with the strangest assortment of people/not people in the entire Wasteland. The conflict, ball busting, unexpected friendships that would be blossom out of that is really fertile soil for writing. Moreover, on a shared journey 2 years later they have a comfortable familiarity with each other they just slip back into. I also love Jefferson/Silver Shroud's dynamic, because you have a superhero level character who starts off 2 dimensional ripped out of a comic book and is suddenly REAL in a way that doesn't fit with reality. As a result he's kind of bumbling and awkward. Jefferson is the embodiment of him "not fitting in" outside of the page where he's idolized as well as stylized. It's just great stuff.

2. I believe you mentioned you turned to Dick Tracy for inspiration while writing this picturesque slice of noir life – what's the most important thing you've learned about writing a radio drama? What was the most difficult thing about resurrecting a much older style of media that you didn't appreciate until you were deep in it?

A: I looked at a lot of inspirations to get the feel right in the beginning acts. Relistened to old school Sam Spade radio dramas, rewatched The Maltese Falcon (Bogart's version of Spade inspired the character of Valentine in development), as well as "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" and "Dick Tracy". Since I've been writing radio drama for almost 5 years now, I think the biggest thing I've learned over time is getting the rhythm right. I write in a way that I want to take people on an emotional rollercoaster of a journey in pretty much everything I do. Because that's life. We laugh, we get anxious and tense, we pine for people, cheer them out, mourn their losses and feel their pain. I always try to recreate that ride in any story we've done whether it's this or other productions we do. Lastly, always give people what they want: a satisfying ending. As far as resurrecting an older style of media...that was really easy as I've been listening to Old Time Radio since I was a teenager.

3. Did you do everything in one take or have any rehearsals/direction? It seemed like all the VAs were in one call together, which is some incredible coordination and effort!

A: Nope! All recorded one night in one take with no rehearsal. Mostly because I was sweating over the script and didn't finish polishing it until 3 hours before recording. We did it all on Zoom and not 5 minutes in, a lightning bolt hit a transformer down the street, knocking out my power. Wes had to continue recording for me (it's why there's a big grid of people at the start as opposed to the single actor view later on. I was crushed I wasn't there live while they were recording.

4. The amount of voice (and writing) talent in this production is incredible for something so unofficial! How long did it take you to bring this 3 hour noir tour of the Commonwealth to fruition? How many times did you have to replay/reload Fallout 4 to fact check your details? :)

A: Thank you! We started asking people a few months ago. I had a brainstorming meeting with Wes and Emil from Bethesda who offered some helpful notes as I wrote on their characters. It took me 26 hours or so to edit and design the media elements, add effects and music scoring. It took 14 hours to render in 4k and only finished rendering at 10am the morning of airing. I was sweating over night that it would finish rendering in time. lol I didn't have to replay Fallout 4 as I have a really good memory of it, but looked to the Wiki on some key details and transcripts of how the characters talked in the main game.

5. Obviously, the plot had to wrap a bit around which VAs were available; were there any specific plot changes you had to make based on availability, or did you only seriously bend to writing after you already had a list of actors available for participation? Anything extremely fun you had to cut?

A: At the last moment sadly Lynda Carter couldn't join us otherwise I wouldn't have written in Magnolia without her. Shari Elliker came in clutch and did a great job voicing her! I really and truly wanted MacCready a part of it, but Matt Mercer is INSANELY busy and was taking a much-needed vacation. Despite that he was kind enough to record for us. I wanted to try and bring EVERYONE back but between not being able to reach some people, others just able to wrangle their schedule...I think we did a good job getting as many people as we did. There was a bunch of stuff I had to cut for time (because this thing was already 3 hours). There was going to be an attack by the Mechanist on Diamond City, following the events at the Lombardo's with the Mechanist taking out the Detective Agency in retribution for meddling in their plans, but felt that was unnecessary and we'd already put listeners through enough torture. lol I was going to bring back Scribe Haylen as a link to investigate some of the Brotherhood's Black Market dealings in salvaged synth tech as part of the surprise return of Kellogg. But honestly the most fun scene would've been a trap in which they're lured to a train station thinking Harold is coming in by rail from the Capital Wasteland only to be chased by an Endritch "modded into the Universe" version of Thomas the Tank Engine. It would've resulted in a car chase with the Shroud realizing Jefferson has used all his James Bond-like car gadgets already so the most they can do is throw bottles at it that Hancock has emptied. lol

Plot questions:

1. "You started something two years ago you never finished." - Boss Lombardo, Death Shroud

In my opinion, one of the biggest successes of Death Shroud was fans were of course hungry for the answers about what comes after a "happy ending". In Death Shroud it's apparent that Nora chose to assist the Brotherhood of Steel along to a victory against the Institute - but it becomes clear that the ending wasn't perfect for everyone. There's been a lot of discussion over the years about how every faction ending to Fallout 4 has its own unique drawbacks. In this case it seems like even beyond sacrificing the Railroad (and a lot of synths) the Brotherhood left a power vacuum in the Commonwealth which is allowing for raiders and the like to take back over in the absence of both the Institute and an effective Minute Men alliance. What was the most important part of this "ending" and its consequences for you to address? What made it the best backdrop to set Death Shroud in? The play mentions more than once that poor Nick is running out of spare parts with the source of synthetic limbs destroyed!

A: I picked that ending for our story because honestly it's one of the most dire from which to grow the story from. The rise of raiders and Triggermen (mafia control of parts of the city) is very Film Noir. I also needed Nora to have dipped out of the spotlight and honestly trying to just go live a quiet life and come to terms with what they did to the railroad was necessary plot wise. The Cabot storyline was also essential...she needed to have let him loose in order for the pieces of the story to come together. I also think it's important to remember that the Brotherhood REALLY aren't their for altruistic reasons. Once they take out the Institute they don't give a crap about rebuilding Boston. They salvage tech, hoard it and that's kind of it. By the time our story begins Nick and our former companions are doing their best just to keep things in some kind of order. Even Hancock needs to go back to run Goodneighbor to prevent it from falling apart.

2. The biggest breakout original character was Charlie, Nick Valentine's protege turned traitor; wonderfully played by Aeric Azana. I actually experienced several double takes during the first airing of the play and had to google to make sure I hadn’t completely forgotten the character somehow, he fit so well with the rest of the cast. What was the inspiration for his character? Care to give us some more loose backstory about how he wound up in the Valentine detective agency?

A: Aeric Azana is BRILLIANT and really completely lost himself in that character and brought it to life. I think the character fit in and felt so natural because it felt like a character that would be there. Following the events of Fallout 4, I think Nick would learn the importance of friends and family and in chasing down Nora's son, a set of continuity of beliefs and ideals. Seeing the Institute destroyed and most of the synths wiped out...there's no backup, no spare parts. Nick can be killed and destroyed and all that he was would be lost. Not only does Nick need help at the agency I think he wanted to have something he could never have: a sense of family. Taking in Charlie off the streets, raising him, teaching him would make sense for him. I have some thoughts on his background and how Nick found him...but that may end up being a story, so I'll keep quiet about that for now. Suffice to say, missing people is not all that Nick finds on cases.

3. No noir sleuth story is complete without organized crime! Fallout players are intimately familiar with a lot of the gangs of the commonwealth, be it the Khans, the Forged, or even the Gourmands – but Ma Lombardo, played by the lovely Ellen McLain & her rabid dog son Carmen (the Boss) played by the equally talented Zack Ward - represent a newer type of evil in the Commonwealth.

In your opinion how does organized crime fit within the wasteland societal structure that already... lacks organization as it were? Are they essentially just raiders who will monologue at you before gunning you down for your caps? Who is even standing up to them at this point? Prosecuting them for their perceived crimes? It’s funny to consider that these crime families are essentially more organized than most of the remaining political structures in place!

A: Say what you want about crime families, but they do hold up a semblance of order where there is needed one. If you take a look at the arc of the Godfather, in the beginning there is a balance of justice, deep seated respect of an order...a code of honor. Ma and Carmen Lombardo return because we've broken what little of that was left with the Triggermen by the time we were done in the Commonwealth. The hierarchy peaking order has been obliterated, so it leaves both a structural opportunity for them to return and also a true need to try and BE the stabilizing force after the power vacuum that was left by our choices. Nora and the gang basically fuck up the Commonwealth in one way or another and I honestly think it would be out of character for her to WANT to be a ruler. So who's left? The Triggermen under Lombardo aren't just raiders...they were forced inline in a way they hadn't been in a long time. Raiders wouldn't have stood a chance against them.

4. "If I’ve learned anything, people are what they believe" – Nick Valentine, Death Shroud

Nick Valentine is a character who has struggled with his identity in the past but came to some degree of closure about it by choosing to believe in/focus on the goodness of his deeds despite being a perceived copy of another man. In Death Shroud we see him brush up against a much more literal (and meta) manifestation of the power of belief in ideas - it's a pretty poignant juxtaposition of the character's much-deliberated ideology vs a rather wild plot. Is that the reason Nick was the only man left standing at the end? The manufactured man who was both someone else's idea but how he defines himself, who he is, is his own choice as well?

A: Honestly the reason it was him still standing in the end is because this ultimately is HIS story, a Nick Valentine Mystery. What Nick misses completely is that like Nora, he is a keystone event. Unlike any other synth out there he is aware of who he is, who he wasn't, can't hide in plain sight like others can. Because of his journey, his actions, the people he helps, saves, draws to him, a tapestry of ripples of his existence, choices and actions forever ripple throughout the Commonwealth. Magnolia's comments in the end both speak to his position in their reality and also direct speak to us as players, "in the end we're not just stories".

5. Follow up: I also found it to be an incredibly fascinating character arc for Nick as well. He was offered the keys to Diamond City, albeit by notorious criminal Ma Lombardo, but then later essentially by Charlie as well - but our synthetic hero turns both of them down since he's a “just a detective, not a politician”.

A: It's more than that also. Nick isn't motivated by power, has lived long enough to see how power corrupts and creates the illusion of choice. What Charlie misses is the EXPERIENCE Nick has as part of his journey. Could having that kind of power mean no more missing people? No more broken hearts? Yes...but it also means denying people the choices and lessons they've learned as a result of actions they take. He wasn't born. He was made. He was built to replace people. He was given memories, a life and story he didn't earn, didn't choose. He made the CHOICE to to throw all of that away and do the most human thing real humans often don't do: help people without reservation.

Over the course of the play it becomes clearer as characters reminisce over the events of Fallout 4, Nick's not entirely satisfied with some of the choices Nora made along the way and more notably some of the ramifications. This is followed by the very end where Nick takes control to reset reality to a ‘previous save’ far in the past before the entirety of Nora’s adventure - rather than say, just before everything involving the events of Death Shroud went to hell in a handbasket. Any particular reason that was Nick’s chosen reload point? Do you think Nick has reached a point from his experiences where he would take a more active role in guiding Nora's decision making going forward?

A: Nick didn't have a choice there. There is only the current state or as teased in the commercial in the very beginning the only saved state available to you. "Safe equals saved" wasn't just a funny commercial, it was a promise that going back means returning to the start of the tapestry of choices, actions and impacts that began when Nora's keystone moment began. The day she was woken up and became something other than Nora. If you pay attention, throughout Fallout 4 Nick offers very specific guidance in some areas and specific wisdom. Knowing full well how important choice is to the causal nexus and maintaining the tapestry of reality he would walk that line very carefully in the choices made vs. influenced.

Last Question:

I’m very curious what the three sentence pitch was to get most of these VAs on board with this amazing project - and even Pete Hines and Emil Pagliarulo as well – if you can share that with us!

A: There really wasn't one. I've become really good friends with Wes these past few years and the other voice actors, Pete Hines, etc. are also people I've gotten to know through Fallout For Hope. So I think our track record as far as fundraising goes, trust in me/Fallout For Hope, etc. from working together on both unofficial Fallout community projects, causes and events and official NDA ones we've done the past few years created a unique situation this thing could even happen. This was our 3rd production this scale, but the one I'm most proud of.

#death shroud #CHAD: A Fallout 76 Podcast #fallout for hope #fallout 4

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milesfingers · 5 months

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More Outlast protagonists headcanons because I need a way to cope my anxiety

part 1

Miles Upshur

Used to be a a troublemaker when he was young, but as he grew up he calmed down

I know many of y'all thinks that he's a gay lord, but I personally hc him as aroace. Although I said in the first part Miles had many girlfriends, I think that at a certain point he realized that he wasn't actually interested in anyone, either romantically or sexually, and that until then he had been struggling to find a partner

He LOVES Stephen King's novels, his favorites are Salem's Lot and The Stand

Smile is not acceptable option

Miles stopped watching tv news because every time he shouted at the television when he saw people he hated

He grew up with a single apprehensive mother, and when he became a journalist started to not talk to her that much because he was scared that she would be in danger due to his work

He have dark brown hair (which look almost black) and grey eyes, and he's about 187 cm (6'1 ft) tall

Waylon Park

Spend hours doing impossible puzzles, Lisa is questioning his sanity

In normal situations he's more patient than he seems

Despite being a model student and earning high grades, Waylon was not obsessed with his school career. Even though it came naturally to him to excel, he remained humble and even if he got a grade that he wasn't satisfied with, he wasn't discouraged.

Waylon NEVER swears. Always try to stay calm and not freak out

As a boy he was very submissive and involuntarily ended up being a doormat to people who wanted to take advantage of him. Lisa opened his eyes and although Waylon is still very friendly, he doesn't let anyone push him around

Really good at comforting and relaxing, he’s basically the therapist friend

Waylon have dirty blonde (dyed because he hates his natural color but refuses to admin it) hair and light green eyes and he’s 173 cm (5’8 ft) tall

Blake Langermann

Can do almost everything. Lynn often jokes about that he’s more multitasking than her

Even after his traumatic childhood he still believes in God, even thought he became a bit cinical

Picky eater

Blake and Lynn often go on vacation in Scandinavian countries. They both fell in love with that part of Europe while doing research in elementary school, and when they had the chance as adults they spent a week in Denmark

Actually listen to rock music and when the others find out they are surprised because he doesn't seem like the type

The reason why Blake and Lynn didn't have sex in months is because they were too stressed and tired with their work. Before the Anna Lee case they had documented the murder of another young girl and it was too much for them

Blake has black crew cut hair and black eyes, also he's 177 cm (5'9/6'0 ft) tall

#yeah this time I included how I think they look #please don't be mad #outlast #outlast game #outlast whistleblower #waylon park #miles upshur #red barrels #outlast 2 #blake langermann #outlast protagonists #outlast headcanons #outlast miles upshur #outlast waylon park #outlast blake langermann #lynn langermann

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matt-h3w · 3 months

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This mans is so ✨Fine✨ I can't! 😭😭 Annywaysss..... I'm currently stuck on Billy Hargrove fluff, because that shit make me Ahh! You know? (Also it's an actual recipe y'all, if you wanna make cookies 😅) idgaf if you're not ticklish in this you are okay? Okay.

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Imagine you making cookies with Billy tho 🤩🤩

I try to keep references to gender regarding the reader out of the writing because I want any and all genders to be able to read, unless it's requested other wise. Swear warnings

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Billy decided to show up to your house, the only give away that he was even there was the loud sound of his car engine. Other than that, he was completely unannounced, no heads up, no "hey are you free?" Just drove his happy ass to your place because he felt like it. You were in the middle of looking for a decent cookie recipe when you heard him driving down your street. You were already at the door by the time he pulled up into your driveway.

He didn't even get a chance to knock before you opened the door. Giving him a glare, though you both knew damn well you were being more playful than pissed. "Should have called me first Hargrove" you spoke in an angry tone that was very much not genuine. "Ouch, last name basis today babe?" He joked right along with you. He intentionally put emphasis on the word babe because it always made your face heat up.

You two had an odd relationship, you acted like you were together, dates, kisses, 'I love you', but he'd still sleep around. You knew the only reason for it being open ended was because he was scared that if he made it something serious, it'd hurt more to lose you. You weren't saying that it didn't hurt a little bit, hell it hurts a lot that he wouldn't risk the commitment. But you understood why he had that fear.

"You gonna let me in, or are we going to stand here all day sweetheart?" He said, looking at you with those eyes, the eyes that could be and are your downfall. The blue of then makes the sky jealous. They were mesmerizing pools of ice that you'd let yourself get trapped in. You stepped out of his way, inviting him inside. You always noticed the way he seemed to relax when he was with you. The tension between his broad shoulders immediately disappearing.

"Want to help me make cookies?" Your voice was soft, it almost always was when you talked to him, unless you were teasing each other with snarky comments or sarcastic banter. All he did was look at you, pulling you closer, a small but genuine smile gracing his lips and it made you a flustered mess. "Babe, I will always, always, want to do something if it means I get to spend time with you." His voice came out in a deep soothing tone.

You smiled back at him, then placed a kiss on his cheek, and sure he appreciated that, he wasn't fully satisfied, so when you pulled back, he pulled you back in giving you a gentle kiss on the lips. If your face wasn't red already it definitely was now. He always managed to make you blush no matter how long you two were together.

You pulled away from his embrace, returning to your spot in the kitchen, the Californian boy trailing after you, like a lost puppy. He truly was a golden retriever when it came to it. For one, he followed you around, even when you walked around aimlessly (found that out the hard way) and for two well... His hair, Golden curls that made sunsets in Malibu jealous. The natural wave of it challenged even the best of surfing tides.

"Wanna help me find a recipe?" You asked, looking at him, as you rested your elbows on the island counter. He shrugged, wrapping his arms around your waist, holding you from behind. "We can do whatever you'd like" is voice was smooth, like velvet. That's it, velvet cookies, but blue instead of red because red was too basic and predictable. You found yourself flipping through the book till you found it, smiling proudly to yourself.

"Red Velvet?" He asked, with a small chuckle "No, they're gonna be blue" you replied with a snippy tone "My bad, my bad, Blue Velvet, sorry darling" his face was now buried in the crook of your neck as he laughed. "Are you laughing at me?!" The obviously over dramatic tone was purely just to pick on him. "No, nope, Nuh uh, I would never" he continued to laugh, causing you to roll your eyes.

You once again pulled away from his grasp, which he didn't seem to happy about, but you started to gather ingredients. "Babe, can you read the ingredients?" You asked as you opened a cupboard grabbing mixing bowls.

"Yeah, uhm, two and one fourths cups of all-purpose flour, two and a half tablespoons of cocoa powder, one and a half teaspoon cornstarch, three fourths teaspoon of baking soda, one half teaspoon of salt. Eight tablespoons or one stick unsalted butter, six tablespoons of vegetable shortening, one and a half cups granulated sugar, one large egg , one large egg yolk, one and a half teaspoons of white vinegar, one and a half teaspoons pure vanilla extract, food coloring preferably gel, White chocolate chips" he read off the list, he didn't stutter or falter, he read it over smoothly, which was quite impressive.

He read it slow enough that you could gather the ingredients as he went. "I said ingredients, not how much of each, but thank you" you teased, kissing his cheek. "You're just upset I can read better than you can" he jibbed back before giving you an actual kiss, his lips pressed against yours, his hands going to your hips. Once he pulled away, you stuck out your tongue in annoyance. He knew he had won.

The two of you grabbed the proper measuring utensils, not wanting to make any unnecessary clean up. "Okay instructions.... Do, do, do, do" you look over the page sorting the ingredients, dry and wet putting them next to their respective bowls. "You should probably start by preheating the oven" he said, smirking at your behavior. "ever heard of Mise en Place?" You said. "Nerd?" He replied, getting an eye roll in return.

He went to the oven, preheating it to three hundred seventy five degrees fahrenheit. (For people that use Celsius it's about 190 degrees) "okay says we have to line our baking sheets with silicone baking mats then set then aside, but you don't own silicone baking mats so, parchment paper?" He said, obviously guessing on what to use for the replacement. "It also doesn't say what sizes baking sheets or how many so, we'll just have to guess" he grabbed parchment paper, and baking sheets from where you set them. The metal of them making a soft clanging sound when they hit the counter.

You leaned over, reading the next instructions out loud "In a small bowl, combine the flour, cocoa powder, cornstarch, baking soda, and salt... Well the bowl isn't really small, but it'll work" you shrugged, you were using a medium sized mixing bowl putting the ingredients listed on the instructions in, at the instructed amounts. "Hey babe, how much is this supposed to make?" Your voice filled his ears, for some reason it made his heart flutter hearing you refer to him as Babe, "uh-," he quickly checked the yield listed at the top "Two dozen" once again he received a kiss on the cheek.

It was moments like these that made him want to commit to you fully, but he was too scared of losing you completely and it hurting more if he did. "I love you" he whispered out, he didn't even realize he said it, but you definitely heard it. "I love you too Billy" when he realized that he had spoken his thoughts out loud he looked embarrassed, but relaxed when you pulled his close, smiling at him, sharing a soft kiss. He pressed deeper into the kiss, holding you tighter. The oven beeped, signalling it was done preheating, interrupting the moment between you two.

You continued baking, this time he was holding onto you, snuggling his face against your neck. Kissing you every so often whether it was on your cheek, your neck, the top of your head, your shoulder, or your lips, he was showering you with affection. You finished mixing the dry ingredients, pushing them to the side, so they were out of your way. "Okay, with an electric hand mixer, cream together the butter, shortening, and sugar for five minutes. Add in the egg, egg yolk, vinegar, and vanilla and mix for three to five more minutes until smooth and creamy. Add in the food coloring, a tiny bit at a time, until your desired hue is reached." Billy held the bowl still while I mixed it, "Babe, maybe turn the speed down" he spoke, the speed on the mixer was higher than it probably should have been, which was why it was hard to mix and keep the bowl still with one hand for each.

"shhhh, it's faster this way" you mumbled earning a chuckle from the boy behind you. His arms were on either side, caging you in as he held the bowl because you didn't care enough to actually try to keep it still. "Pewp, bloop, blue.... More blue.... Do you think this is enough blue?" you looked back at him, then at the very blue cookie batter. "Yes, it is definitely blue enough" he pressed a kiss on the side of your head, lips trailing down to your neck in an affectionate manner. "Billy..." You whispered receiving only a hum in response.

The feeling of his breath hitting your neck tickled, causing you to move away a bit while a soft squeal. "Billy, that tickles" "yeah? You know what else will tickle?" You knew what he was gonna do, instinctively shutting off the mixer wrapping your arms around yourself to try to create a barrier between him and and your sides. He managed to slide his fingers between spaces that your arms didn't cover, tickling you.

"Ahh- no Billy stop!" You squeaked, trying not to laugh. He continued to tickle you, he had learned how to tell when you genuinely couldn't handle being tickled anymore so he stop. You tried to catch your breath "you prick" you laughed softly. "You know you love me sweetheart" he said holding you close. "Yeah, yeah whatever" you teased, before continuing to finish the cookies. "Add in the dry ingredients and mix on low until combined." The recipe said "Using a 1 and 1/2 tbsp cookie scoop, scoop cookies onto prepared baking sheets a couple inches apart. Press 8 white chocolates chips into each dough ball." "Oh fuck no" you said as you read it while mixing the dough that was started to form. "What?" Billy said clearly amused by your reaction. "It says to place the chips into the dough after making the balls, fuck that shit" you opened the white chocolate chip bag dumping a half cup into the the bowl, mixing it up. You could hear Billy laugh behind you at your antics. You started to divide the dough into balls guessing the size rather than measuring. "I can hear you laughing at me" you said while finishing a row.

"I have no clue what you're talking about" the blue eyed boy said while still laughing. "Mhm, sure" you made a face at him, scrunching your nose. You had finished the rows carefully placing the cookie sheet into the oven "Bake for 8 minutes." he said, for some reason he was still laughing, at this point you weren't sure why. Setting a timer the two of you stood on the kitchen waiting on the cookies.

He pulled you close, whispering to you "I could get used to this" "used to what?" you spoke as you leaned against him. "You, me, just us, doing whatever, it's nice" he was still whispering. "Billy what are you saying" you raised an eyebrow. He had decided in that moment to commit, to you. Fully. You were the one who stood by him, and made him want to be a better person, the one who understood his behavior, even if you didn't agree with it. "I'm saying, I want it to be you and I, It wasn't fair for me to sleep with random girls when you deserved more, you deserved something solid. I want to commit, I mean it"

You felt your heart flutter, he finally said the thing you needed to hear from him most, "about damn time" you laughed trying not to cry, pulling him into a kiss, it was gentle and loving, but this time it was different, it was the first kiss of you and him being together, actually together. It was nice. Your heart warmed, in fact your entire body felt warm, he had the same feeling spread through his body. He didn't regret his decision, he was glad he had done it.

When you pulled away you both had stupid grins, smiling like idiots in love. Because that's what you were, in love. You waited the rest of the time for the cookies to be done. When the were cool enough you shared them with a glass of milk, holding each other close.

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Dear Gods, I'm done 😭 idk why but this took me so long to finish. Goodbye have a good whatever time it is for you 😭😭

#billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove #fluff #stranger things #x reader #soft boy hours #stranger things x reader #gn reader #fanfic #strangers to friends #friends to lovers #baking cookies #ramdom

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akiology · 7 months

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HUFLSDGJLKDJKJBSLIGNHSGRNk MID NIGHTS GOSE PURRRS and Im so glad u like it!!!! (im the one who send the akechi trying to cook)

akechi- well crow with his darling who is also a persona user (she awakened her persona after some days when okumura was yk) her outfit is resembling a swan

unlike the others but like him her theme outfit is white

her fighting style is absolutely elegant and magnificent its almost satisfied To watch if it wasn't for the situation they are in XD also her fighting style may look like ballet

i was thinking of what her persona could be and Aurora or eos but now im rethinking for aglaea

she defiantly his a show time with noir and crow and maybe with violet to

just a random text but akechi darling is %100 the judgement arcana

yk this small talks the random happens ? yeah fox and skull likes to talks with her or if anyone vent about there problem she happily gives her assistant to them (futaba with her social issues, yusuke food problem, ryuji Studies and ect ect)

code name the match's her(and him<3) persona is 'dove'

VHHVMSM mona straight up asking her "if your held hostage by him blink two times" and joker right behind him joining at joke with them (noir would think its fr and she is holding a gun first into his forehead while looking at her waiting for the green flag to shoot him)

she is defiantly would be the senpai to akiren and mostly an older sister figure to him and futaba

AND BESTIES WITH ANN.

now hare is some spoilers for p5r

SOOOOO im not accepting akechi fate so <3

she and joker saving his ass <33333

that is all up i have a good day my lady <3333

-Akechi lover

I HAVE ACTUALLY BRAINSTORMED ABOUT THIS A FEW TIMES .. . but if we are going down the route that s/o and joker will save akechi/prevent his fate, i honestly like the idea that s/o's persona would be sigyn. i don't know if this is a popular headcanon, but i have read a few fics that has this idea.

in norse mythology, sigyn is loki's wife. loki was found guilty for the murder of the beloved god balder, and as punishment skadi sent him away to a cave while bound to some stone slabs. she also put a poisonous snake above loki's head, which will drip venom and hurt him when it falls on his face. sigyn, being a faithful wife, holds a bowl over loki's head to prevent him from being hurt.

not to be that person but i genuinely believe akechi didn't die T_T because what was the point of the final scene of royal ending if he did!!!!!!!!!! if you guys want my thoughts on this feel free to send an ask <3

but i like the idea that akechi and s/o somehow mirror eachother's thief getup, and this especially makes sense if they have a lot of history with each other. (maybe s/o was a childhood friend, or akechi's first ever friend at work).

thanks so much for sending this in! have a nice day! <3

#akiology talks #akechi lover anon #goro x reader #goro akechi #goro akechi x reader #akechi x reader

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illtakeyoutowonderland · 1 year

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The one (Part 3)

The one where she got almost killed

Sihtric x Reader

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It had been a long night and sleepless night.

Aethelfled had explained how she ended up there, something about her husband wanting to kill her and she being some kings daugther. Y/N laughed at first, thinking it was all a joke but her friend was very serious about it. And it wasn't like Y/N's story made any sense to the others either. So, she choose to believe her friend.

Still, her mind kept her awake almost all night. Not only because, you know, everything that had happened to her in the las few weeks but also, if everything was true, in what year had she traveled to?

One of the nuns woke her up, apparently she was late for making breakfast or whatever. It wasn't like they had anywhere to be, but still she got out of the bed and put on her clothes and went to the kitchen.

When I tell you this men were loud. She could hear them on the hall laughing and yelling from where she stood on the kitchen grabbing whatever other nuns where given to her to set the table. Y/N walked into the hall, ignoring everyone. Her head was killing her, she had barely slept and she was still processing all the information Aethelflaed had shared with her.

She exchanged some smiles with her friend, but ignored the others until the Abbess found her "Y/N! It was time you would join us" She exclaimed from her seat getting up and walking to her "Yu missed morning prayers you'll have to do them later"

"I'm sorry" She truly was. The Abbess was like an annoying super religious grandma but those you cannot hate because they are, very deep, a good person "It was a restless night and I lost track of time" She explained as she put some food on the table

"I hope you used that time to reflect on what you did last night" The Abbess said and Uthred and his men tured to look at them "You should apologize to the man"

"What?" She laughed in disbelief

"You will apologize to that man" She said pointing at Shitrhic who was trying his best not to laugh "And then you will go to make our morning prayers"

"I will not do such thing" Y/N replied "Saying sorry is meant for when you regret doing something and I do not regret a thing" She gave Shitrhic a fake smile and he rolled his eyes. Finan and Osferth were very invested in the conversation

"Maybe she should go to her morning prayers and then she can talk to Shitrhic in private" Aethelflead suggested trying to save her friend while Uthred made a face and laughed

"She will not" The Abbess stated "She has to learn, this is God's way" Y/N rolled her eyes at the mention of God an The Abbess pushed her even closer to where Shithric was seatted.

"Fine!" She said "I'll apologize or whatever" She took a deep breath and stood on the opposite side of the table from him "Shithric"

"Yes, Lady?" Oh he was enjoying this too much, and his smirk said it all

"I'm sorry" She said and when his smile only grew wider she could only see red so, she continued "I'm sorry your brain is so small it can't even process it own stupidity" And it felt so good when she saw how his smile faded away.

Finan chocked on his, Uthred laughed so hard, Osferth tried to hide his laugh and even Aethelflaed couldn't contained her smile. "That is enough young lady" The Abess exclaimed. She didn't think it was funny "Go to the chapel and say your prayers. Now!"

"I'll go" Y/N said as she took some bread from the table "And don't worry Shithric I'll pray for God to give you a new brain, but since you are a heathen He might ignore me" And she finally left the hall very satisfied with herself and the look on the man's face. The Abess wasn't so happy, though. She took the bread from her and made her go to the chapel next to the nunnery and left her alone so she could think about what she did.

A few hours had passed and she didn't even feel sorry for sleeping instead of praying. She did say some prayers but eventually sleep won, and suddenly the wood benches looked super comfortable. She looked out the window and saw it had started to snow, so, not wanting to freeze in a chapel she started walking over to the nunnery while petting some of the animals.

Feeling more rested and content with herself she let herself get lost in the small snowflakes that were pouring over her when a voice startled her "You do not look like a nun"

She looked over to the voice and stopped in her tracks. It wasn't just one man. There were at least 50 and she cursed herself for not paying more attention. Two of Aethelflaed's men where kneeling in fron of them, being held by danes with a knife, and a third one on the floor already dead. She started to understand the danger she was getting into. "Because I am not" She said while looking over at them. The blonde man chuckled and she saw he had some small tattoo on his right eye

"Are you a Dane?" The blackhaired man next to him said

"Also no" She said "Apparently I'm too soft for a Dane" She said more to herself rolling her eyes

"You look soft" Said the first man and all she could think of was eeeeww

"Can I help you with something?" She started to wonder why the hell none of Uthred men where outside dealing with this.

"Like I said to you nun friend" The blind man said rolling his eyes as if he didn't like reapting himself "I'm here for Aethelflaed"

"Oh, and who are you exactly?"

"The name is Haesten, Lady" He said while Y/N looked over to the nunnery and saw the glimpse of a few shadows move inside "I'm a friend. I just want to keep her safe"

"Well, that's funny" She said laughing a little. She somehow understood she had to give the others time to come with a plan to win them some time.

"How is it funny?" The darkhaired men intervined

"A man came in here last night and said the same thing" She always tried not to lie too much, since she was awful at it, but she could avoid certain details.

"What man?"

"He wasn't a Saxon, that's for sure" She said looking over to the horses and trying to come up with some plan "I don't know, tall, dark hair, blue eyes, too much confidence"

"That sounds like Uthred, Lord" The darkhaired man said to Haesten

"Uthred! I know you are there" Haesten yelled "Give me Aethelflaed and I won't kill you"

"Oh, he is not here" Ok, that was a lie. But seriously someone had to come outside at some point, right?

"What do you mean he is not here?" Haesten was low on patience already "I can see the horses there" He pointed at the animals and she sighed

"He left them for you to think Aethelflaed is inside" She shrugged "They left that way, last night" She pointed to her left "Maybe you can catch them if you hurry and let those men be, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to see a friend" She gave them a smile while pointing to the guards and started walking over the few steps of the front door when an arrow flew past right next to her head. She froze and looked over to the arrow, now nailed to the big wooden door and to the window right next to it. She saw Finan looking at her giving her a nod as to reassuring they had her back. So she turned to face Haesten and his men again.

"I do not like being lied to, Lady" The blonde man said as he got off his horse. She didn't even tried to deny it "Give me Aethleflaed or the next arrow won't miss"

"You can go inside and check if you want to" She snapped. For some reason she didn't like being threatened to death. She would kill them herself if she had to. But before anyone can say something else the door opened and the Abbess steped outside. "No no, Abbes go inside"

But the woman only gave her a smal soft smile and turned to the Danes "What is it you want?" She said and Haesten and his men looked more annoyed than before, if that was even possible "We have some food and ale, it is yours. What we do not have is silver. If it is ourselves, our lives...I ask you why?"

"Aethleflaed. Aethleflaed. Aethleflaed. Aethleflaed." He reapeated "How many times do I have to say that stupid name? What I want is Aethleflaed!"

"There´s no one in this house called Aethleflaed" The Abbess stated and Haesten gave the order to kill one of the guards. Y/N stiffened. She had never seen anyone get killed before and still it seemed so distant now

"Deny her presence once more and a third man dies and I will burn down your nunnery and everyone inside"

"Realese him and take me in his place" The Abbess suddenly said walking down the final steps of the entrance "Or am I too strong for you?"

"No no no, Abbess stop" Y/N almost whispered. She knew this wasn't going to end well

The third guard got killed and that was the last straw for the Abbess "Why must you behave like this?! Why must you slaughter for no good reason?"

"Dagfinn" Was only Haesten said and the blackhaired man spoke

"Aethleflaed"

"Why must blood be spilled? It is heathen. Ungodly! And you are the devil's encarnation, nothing more" The Abbess ranted looking around her "And all I can try and do is ensure that He shall have you!"

She grabbed an axe at the same time Y/N saw Dragfinn get a spear and she run down the steps to stop her but she was too late. "Holy shit" She muttered as the Abbess dead body reached the ground and she kneeled next to her on the muddy dirt.

Time stopped for Y/N. She knew Haesten was still yelling for her friend to come out but she couldn't register the words, nor she didn't care. All she focused was the dead face of the woman who had take care all those weeks ago. "Show yourself!" Haesten screamed and grabbed Y/N to get her up on her feet "Or your knew friend will show how soft she can be" He grabbed her by her neck pushing her back into his chest "And we will take turns" The men laughed "She is here"

When there was no response he pushed her against some other men who hold her as they walked towards the nunnery kitchen. She didn't know why exactly they were taking her inside with them, but she wasn't in a position to complain either.

The got inside and stood in front of the hall's closed doors. Y/N and the man that hold her in a corner next to the kitchen door. The doors opened and the battle started. Uthred and his men got out the hall and started killing Haesten's men. Even Skade got out and she got her time killing them. She actually was enjoying herself, it was really creepy to watch. The man that hold her realed her for a moment but someone else grabbed her and covered her mouth with their hands.

She got dragged to the kitchen and behind some big furniture. But she fought. She even got to bite the man's hand "Damn it woman. It's me!" Finan said behind her and she stopped moving "We just need to be quite, hmm?" She nodded as she tried to steady her breathing.

Haesten and Dragfinn run outside as if they were scared and Y/N knew the little battle was over. Once Finan checked everything was okay for them to go to the hall, she followed him to meet with the others. "Y/N!" Aethleflaed exclaimed as she walked towards her and hugged her "Oh, I was so scared for you"

"You were scared?" Y/N tried to joke but her eyes filled with tears as she met with her friends eyes "The Abbess..."

"I know" Aethleflaed said with a sad expression "We saw"

"I tried to stop her..."

"It is not your fault" Uthred said

"You did good, Lady" Finan said with a smile on his face as he patted her shoulder. Osferth nodded in agreement but Shithric only watched her

"I doesn't feel like I did good" She whispered as she met his eyes. Something about the recent fight sparkled in Shthric's gaze and she hold it not sure why. But she could swear she saw some relief in him for a second.

-----

I have so many ideas about this story I can write them fast enough

Hope you are enjoying it!! 💜

#the last kingdom #finan #uthred #uthred of bebbanburg #sihtric #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric fic #sihtric x reader #sihtric the last kingdom

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