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whitedarkmoonflower · 2 months

Text

Traitor

Pairing: Sihtric x reader (female)

Authors note: a big thank you to awesome and incredible @little-diable for having the wonderful and crazy idea to write this together. I loved it so much! You are such an amazing writer.

Warnings: SMUT 18+, angst

Summary: you thought you had been prepared for everything as you were sent to spy on Uhtred, until the moment you met a certain Danish warrior

Word Count: 4,8 K

Headers and dividers by the lovely @arcielee

If you want to be added to or removed from the tag list - write to me.

I'm not sure if this letter will ever get to you or if you'll even want to read it. But I couldn't leave without saying goodbye.

You probably already know, and it's true. I was sent to spy on Lord Uhtred, on orders from Lord Wihtgar, Uhtred’s cousin and the current ruler of Bebbanburg.

I came here as a spy and an enemy, full of suspicion, hate and disdain. I was sent to spy on a traitor of his own kin, on a heathen teamed up with the Danes to try and bring down my Lord, the rightful ruler of Bebbanburg.

But now, as I'm leaving, I want you to know I'm going as a friend and an ally, even if you can't quite believe it, even if you all rightfully see me as a traitor.

These past few months have taught me so much - about trust, relying on others, feeling accepted, and being valued. But most importantly, I've learned what it means to be loved.

I'm sorry. I know it's not enough, and it never will be…

"It's all blurred and smudged from here. I can't decipher it," Osferth looked up from the small piece of vellum he held in his hands. His gaze wandered around the dimly lit room before settling on the silhouette seated at the table, with elbows propped up and head resting on hands, fingers entwined in hair.

"Read it once more," Sihtric growled, his voice rough and slightly trembling.

"I've already read it to you five times. What do you expect to uncover?" Osferth shrugged. The sound of the bench falling echoed as Sihtric suddenly sprang to his feet, knocking it over and grabbed the cup from the table, draining it in a few hasty gulps. He stood there for a moment, examining it in his hand. Moments later, the cup was hurled to the ground with such force that it shattered into countless small pieces, causing Osferth to flinch.

"Nothing," venom dripped from Sihtric's voice, "I'm a fool, a damned idiot. How could I not see it? How could I be so blind?" he roared before storming out of the room.

It had been surprisingly easy, much easier than you had anticipated. It appeared that Uhtred had a soft spot for taking in masterless dogs and those less fortunate. All it took was a heart-wrenching tale of being captured by Scots as a child and raised as a warrior to win his acceptance. You couldn't help but feel a sense of disdain for his kind-heartedness and naivety. He truly didn't deserve to be called a Lord.

A Lord should be stern and ruthless, someone who instilled fear in their subordinates, devoid of the lower emotions like love and compassion that made people vulnerable to manipulation. This was what you had been taught, ingrained in you since childhood, nurtured by your mother's milk, and enforced by your father's strict hand.

You happened to be the sole child of Bebbanburg's commandant and the trusted right hand of Lord Ælfric Uhtredson. Your father had always yearned for a son, but fate had dealt him a different hand – a daughter, a fragile and small creature with large, inquisitive eyes and infectious laughter.

The carefree and joyful days of your childhood came to an abrupt end when your father finally acknowledged your existence. Around the age of ten, as it became apparent that your mother would not provide the male heir he so desperately desired, your father’s attention shifted to you.

And now, here you were – a grown woman, a trained warrior, and a cunning spy, with deep and sorrowful eyes, and a laughter that had been absent from your life for years. This was how you entered the service of Lord Uhtred.

“You’ve got a knack for it,” Finan chuckled approvingly, and you saw his hand extending towards you to help you up from the ground. You hesitated, uncertain if he genuinely meant it, half-expecting him to withdraw his hand at the last moment, his warm smile giving way to a mocking grin. He had bested you fair and square. Again. Finan the Agile, they called him, and rightly so.

He had the appearance of a large, affable bear, with warm brown eyes, that always seemed to twinkle mischievously. What a deception! That man moved as swiftly as lightning. Despite investing all your strength, skill, and effort, you found yourself seated in the dirt, gasping for breath. The surprise in your eyes was impossible to conceal as you kept glancing at his outstretched hand. Even though you knew by now that his hand would remain there, that you could rely on it and you could trust it not to turn against you, old habits died hard, etched into your very bones, causing you to hesitate once more.

Finally, you mustered the courage to grasp it, allowing Finan to help you to your feet. "That move earlier, when you suddenly changed direction and lunged to my left, almost caught me off guard. That was impressive," the bearded Irishman continued, his genuine smile unwavering. He retrieved your sword and handed it back to you. "Ready for another round?"

You thought you were prepared for anything. You were ready to fight for your place among the warriors, anticipating challenges and the disdain that comes with being an outsider, a newcomer, and a woman. You were prepared for the sly glances, whistles, and crude remarks, for unwelcome advances and dirty hands trying to grope you. Having been raised in the world of men, you knew their ways well.

"Hey, let the lady catch her breath," Osferth's ever-cheerful voice echoed across the yard as he approached with a pitcher and ale mugs in his hands. The shy former monk was undoubtedly the most peculiar addition to the pack around Uhtred. Why was he even carrying a sword? He seemed clueless about how to use it. Initially, you assumed he might be warming someone's bed, but it soon became evident that this was not the case.

There was no logical explanation for his presence in a warriors' camp, but there he was, offering a bashful smile as he filled the mugs with ale and handed the first one to you. You couldn't deny the calming and radiant aura that accompanied him, something intangible, something elusive that defied explanation. Always courteous and attentive, unwavering in his faith in God's benevolence, he carried the weight of being born out of wedlock with quiet dignity and bestowed genuine kindness upon those around him.

You had believed you were prepared for anything – ready to endure contempt and hatred, to withstand pain and humiliation, to employ your body as both a weapon and allure. You had experienced it all, endured it all, and each time emerged stronger. But there was one thing you hadn't been prepared for – to be accepted just as you were, to be treated with respect and appreciation. Friendship and loyalty had taken you by surprise, and above all, you had never anticipated being cared for and loved.

Love. It had been an empty word, devoid of real meaning to you. In this cursed world where power, authority, and control were the sole currencies of worth, there was no room for something as seemingly foolish as love. How could you have prepared for it when you had never felt it?

Love didn't strike you suddenly, nor did it assault your senses and reason. You might have recognized it then if it had. Instead, it arrived slowly, subtly, through tentative glances and concealed smiles, in the hesitant brush of fingers. It infiltrated your everyday life as helping hands to maintain your weapons or carry your saddlebag, as a casual shift to the side, making room for you at the fire, as unassuming inquiries when you appeared tired or unwell. The genuine care and attention that the reserved and initially withdrawn young Dane with that stern and piercing gaze framed by two mismatched eyes offered so effortlessly and unpretentiously wrapped around you like a soft, welcoming blanket. It dulled your wariness, dazzled you like freshly brewed ale, and you fell for it without regret.

“Fuck,” you moaned, eyes squeezed shut, hands pressed against the cold ground. You were lying flat on your back, unable to take another step. It had been a foolish mistake, really, one second you had tried to prove to the guys how easy it was to balance one too many cups of ale in your hands, the next you had found yourself on the ground. One of the other drunken guys had rammed into you, forcing you to the ground without another warning.

It had taken you a few seconds to realise what was going on, blinking the tears away that welled up in your eyes due to the pain sticking to your foot. Voices had echoed in your ears, growing louder by the second, forcing you to at least try and sit up. All you could do was watch how Finan had to hold back Sihtric, who was about to tear the guy to shreds.

You had murmured Sihtric’s name, hoping to catch his attention. If there was one thing you hated, it was being the centre of attention – and being the reason for a fight amongst the guys would definitely put you further into the said centre. It had taken Finan a few moments to get some distance between Sihtric and the guy, forcing the Dane to finally focus on you.

“Can you stand?” Sihtric had kneeled in front of you, worried eyes flickering between yours and the hurt ankle you pressed your hand against. A whimper had left you as you had to rise, plopping back to the ground with a huff. There was no use in denying the shame thumping through your veins, filling every inch of your body. Only as Sihtric had placed his hand on your chin, redirecting your gaze towards him, had you managed to look at the handsome Dane again, sending him a smile.

“Up you go.” Without another warning, Sihtric had picked you up, strong arms wrapped around your cold body. The shriek that had clawed through you had left Finan and Osferth laughing, watching Sihtric carry you towards the tent he was supposed to sleep in.

And now here you were, placed on the warm fur, eyes studying the Dane’s every move. You could tell that something was holding Sihtric back, not daring to touch you for more than a handful of moments, pulling away whenever his eyes found yours as if your mere closeness set fire through his body. It frustrated you, seeing him this weary, scared to touch your already battered body.

“Sihtric,” you murmured his name, once again sitting up to be closer to him. Your hand darted out to find his warm cheek, trying not to pay the way he seemed to hold his breath too much of your attention. Slowly your thumb began to move, stroking his soft skin, the small marks and scars littering his cheeks, marks you couldn’t help but admire. He emanated strength and danger, and yet you felt awfully safe around him, knowing that he’d always protect you – should you need it.

With your breath hitched in your chest, it took you a moment to realise what was happening. Sihtric had pressed his lips against yours, hand placed on the back of your head to keep you close, not daring to let you go. Your heart was racing, torn between excitement and confusion, since you had hoped you’d eventually find yourself in a situation like this, and yet you haven’t dared to overthink it much.

“I am sorry.” Suddenly he pulled away, trying to get some distance between the two as if you were some addicting poison he needed to stay away from. Your wide pupils followed his every haste movement, not understanding what was going on. “You’re hurt, I shouldn’t touch you, not like this.”

A soft laugh broke out of you, hand reaching out for him to pull Sihtric in for another kiss. The moan that clawed through him left you grinning against his mouth, slowly parting your lips to deepen the kiss. You found yourself pressed against the fur, with Sihtric hovering over you. Neither of you dared to break the kiss this time, not as his hands began to work on your clothes, not as you fought against the need to arch your back to let go of a deep moan.

“I want to take care of you, take away your pain. Will you let me?” His raspy voice shot shudders down your spine, eyes rolling back into your head the second his warm mouth found your chest. All you could do was moan his name, teeth running along your lower lip to somewhat try to be quiet, not wanting to attract the attention of nearby drunkards. Expectedly he sucked on your hardening nubs, grinning whenever you choked on his name. “My pretty shieldmaiden, the fiercest warrior I aim to claim.”

“Gods, Sihtric, more. Please.” Sihtric blindly followed your choked command, kissing his way down to your heat. You were dripping for him, needing to feel his hands and mouth on you before he could fuck you like you had dreamt of him doing for a while now. The way he groaned at your taste left you clenching around nothing, fingers holding onto the furs to try and ground yourself.

His colourful eyes watched you intently, not wanting to miss one single expression, telling him all about how you felt buried beneath him, with his mouth on you. You felt as if you were drowning, clinging to every breath you were allowed to inhale, close to passing out. But Sihtric was determined, wanting to push the most sinful yet most beautiful sensation through your body.

“I must have pleased the Gods for being allowed to feel you this close, you’re mine now.” A hum left you, unable to reply with words as he forced two fingers into your tightness. Your walls clenched around him, telling him that you were already close. The grin he wore on his lips was devilish as he spoke up once again, “Say it, say that you’re mine.”

“I’m yours, fuck, only yours.” Your eyes rolled back into your head as you came on his fingers, whimpering his name. Sihtric’s thumb kept circling your pulsing bundle, prolonging the intense sensations for a few more moments. For a second it felt as if you were reborn, heart racing too fast, palms sweaty from the way you had tried to hold onto the furs.

You tried to rise from your position, wondering what he’d do next, but Sihtric kept you pressed to the ground, looking like Loki himself, the trickster with a grin that could fool anybody. With wide eyes, you watched Sihtric undress, leathers plopping to the ground to expose his carefully chiselled muscles, gracing his stomach, his arms, and his thighs. All you could do was choke on your breath as your eyes focused on his hard cock, begging for your touch, to feel you wrapped around him.

“I promised to take care of you, but I won’t be gentle, not when I’ve got you buried beneath me like that.” Sihtric’s voice dripped with possessiveness, lust, and excitement, once again leaving you covered in goosebumps. You nodded, unable to speak up as his mouth found yours, kissing you breathless while he aligned himself with your cunt. “Hold onto me, mark me up.��

You didn’t need to be told twice, clawing your fingernails into his warm skin, adding more scars to the ones he had collected on battlefields. And yet he’d be prouder of the ones you added than any other, he’d fight any war if it meant getting to be with you. The both of you moaned in unison as he pushed into you, forcing your walls to adjust to his size.

Sihtric hadn’t lied, he wasn’t soft, wasn’t sweet, no, he fucked you like a man on a mission, a man who followed his lord’s commands. And you loved every moment of it, every rough thrust that managed to set your body ablaze, every thrust that left you choking on the air you were desperate for. Your nails left bloody marks down his shoulders, holding onto him as he fucked you on the fur, hoping that this was the first of many nights you’d spent on this fur together.

“You feel so good around me like the gods have crafted you for me, mine to own, mine to love.” Sihtric’s words almost drew tears to your eyes, desperately wanting to reply, to tell him about your feelings, but you couldn’t. You were too far gone, once again close to falling off the edge. With one last kiss pressed to your lips, you came, moaning his name into the cold night. Sihtric fucked you through your release, groaning into the crook of your neck as he came only a few seconds later.

You both panted heavily, slowly coming down from your highs, as your foggy mind gradually cleared, and your hazy gaze locked onto Sihtric's mismatched eyes.

This was the moment you always hated the most - the moment of harsh and uncomfortable truth, filled with awkward glances, whispered words, and hurried, clumsy movements. It was the time when one inevitably left, fumbling for clothes and murmuring promises that were never meant to be kept.

You had been on both sides often enough; it was neither new nor unexpected to you. However, for perhaps the first time in your life, you felt an inexplicable emotion creeping beneath your skin. It drove you to dig your fingers into the plush, sweat-soaked furs beneath you, restraining the impulse to pathetically wrap your arms around Sihtric's shoulders in a desperate attempt to keep him from leaving.

Sihtric crushed down beside you, his breath ragged, and his strong arms instinctively encircled you, pulling your back flush against his chest as though he feared you might disappear.

"Will you stay with me?" a hoarse whisper brushed against your ear, igniting a new sense of life within you.

"I couldn't leave even if I wanted to," you chuckled softly.

"Do you want to?"

"No, I don't," you whispered, turning to face him.

"Good, because I don't want you to either," Sihtric murmured, pressing his lips against yours.

I'm sorry I never found the courage to say these words to you. I always thought there would be enough time for that.

I just hope you felt it, I hope you sensed it, how much I loved you. And I still do. I want you to know that will never change. I will always love you, until my very last breath.

Tears welled up in your eyes, falling onto the vellum before you.

Muffled noises from outside caught your attention, and you hastily rolled it up, inadvertently smudging the ink where your tears had fallen. Time was running out; you had to leave. There had always been rumours of Uhtred having his own spies in Bebbanburg, though no one had ever managed to prove them. Today, you had seen him - the blacksmith from Bebbanburg, here in Rumcofa, in Uhtred’s hall. You had tried to hide, but it had been too late. He had seen you, his eyes glued to your pale face, as your heart frantically drummed against your ribs. He had recognized you, just as you had recognized him, and in that moment when your eyes met, you knew your mission had reached its end.

It was too late to confess your true purpose for coming here. You had wanted to reveal your real identity so many times, but the right moment had never seemed to come. And now, it was too late. Your past life had caught up with you, its cold, bony fingers slowly closing around your throat. You didn’t want to leave, but you couldn't stay.

Silence, absolute silence enveloped you, devoid of any sound—no voices, no footsteps, no creaking doors. There was nothing to attract your attention, it was as if the world itself had stilled, allowing your thoughts to flutter through your mind like startled birds, beating against the cage of your consciousness. You had never imagined that silence could be so agonisingly painful, so suffocating.

He will not come! He hates and detests you! You deserve it! The cruel voice echoed in your head, driving you to cover your ears with your hands. Growls of frustration escaped your lips, reverberating against the thick walls of Bebbanburg's dungeon, as you attempted to silence the relentless taunting.

Bebbanburg had fallen, or rather, it had been reclaimed by its rightful owner. You had always known this moment would come, understood that Uhtred would never relinquish his birthright, his lands, or the fortress of his ancestors. You had simultaneously dreaded and longed for this day, aware that it would spell both your doom and your salvation. And now, it was a reality.

God as your witness, you had tried to forget him. You had attempted to banish him from your thoughts, to expel the longing from your mind. For a time, you had even believed you had succeeded, drowning your yearning and hunger for Sihtric's touch, for his commanding yet gentle voice whose orders you had been so eager to obey, for the stern yet loving gaze of his mismatched eyes that seemed to follow you wherever you went.

But the moment you laid eyes on him and Finan on the upper walkway, flanked by guards, you knew it had all been an illusion. You knew you had failed utterly. Your hand shot up instinctively, covering your mouth to stifle the scream threatening to erupt from your chest.

As if in a haze, you recalled following the guards, sneaking into the dungeon—this very dungeon whose walls you had been pounding in anger and despair for the past few hours, leaving your knuckles raw and bleeding. Then, like a bolt of lightning carrying God's wrath, like a spear hurled by an enemy's hand, it struck you. The coldness in Sihtric's gaze as he lifted his eyes from the lifeless bodies of the guards on the floor to meet yours froze the words forming on your lips, causing them to hang in the air before shattering into a thousand pieces upon the ground.

"You?" was the sole word that escaped Finan's lips as you swiftly cut through the ropes binding their hands, yet even that was laden with disdain and revulsion. You had shown them the way out, the concealed passage to the main hall, and they had left—no words exchanged, no glances shared, no turning back—just silence, relentless silence. The same oppressive silence lingered as Ælfwynn and Hild departed the fortress through the small, secret door you had revealed to them. Traitor, her eyes had silently screamed at you.

You could have fled, escaped, started anew far from this cursed fortress, far from everyone who governed your life. You could have been free. Yet, as tempting as it was, you knew there was no escaping yourself, no escaping the searing shame and longing that had gnawed at you from within all this time. You couldn't leave, not again.

It was Sihtric's hands that seized you, wrenching you to your feet and twisting your arms behind your back when they found you seated in the main hall, awaiting their arrival. You offered no resistance; the touch of him, even as his eyes blazed with hatred, sent shivers down your spine, and you allowed yourself to be dragged to the dungeon in silence. What could you say? How could you explain the inexplicable?

Leaning back against the cold and unforgiving stone wall, you felt the rugged surface digging into your skin even through your clothes as you slowly sank to the ground. Here you were, locked up in the dark and soundless cells beneath Bebbanburg, waiting for something you knew would never come. Closing your eyes, you let the silence envelop you, to become a part of you, to seep into your soul. You were alone, yet strangely, you felt free. No more lies, no more disguise. Just you.

A creaking sound reached your ears, and you slowly, almost unwillingly, opened your eyes to meet whoever had decided to disturb your silence.

“I should have known.” You’d always recognise his voice, wrapping itself around you like the warm summer breeze. But now it wasn’t warm, no, it was set on freezing you, leaving marks that would forever remind you of your betrayal. Your eyes watched his every move, wondering, perhaps even fearing, that he’d step even closer.

God, how could you have betrayed the man who owned your heart? Why did you keep quiet, when he was right there to hold you, to take away your pain?

“A traitor, good for nothing. I should be ashamed that I touched you.” At first, his words hurt you, cutting deeper than the swords he had held before ever could. But the more you pondered on them, the more you found yourself focusing on the “should” that had rolled off his tongue.

“Should?” It was just a whisper leaving you, and yet it was enough to draw a sigh from Sihtric. He unlocked the cell and stepped into the small space you were forced to call your own.

“As much as I want to hate you for betraying my lord, for betraying my family, for betraying me I can’t. The Gods know how much I tried to.” Sihtric crouched down in front of you, his differently coloured eyes wandering over your features, unable to bite down the smile that tugged on his lips as you leaned closer. Carefully he cupped your cold cheek, pondering on his next move.

“I am sorry, so very sorry.” All he did was hum, dipping his head down to kiss you. You knew that he wouldn’t forgive you easily, but yet you hoped that he’d learn to, no matter what it took, you’d do it if it meant regaining his trust. Within seconds you were pulled to your feet, front pressed against the cold stones, away from him.

The whine rumbling through you left Sihtric chuckling, a sound so familiar and yet it dripped with something you weren’t used to, something dark, something that left your body covered in goosebumps. You wanted to look at him, it had been too many hours since you had last gotten the chance to, but Sihtric didn’t loosen his grip, not even as he freed you from the fabrics and leathers covering your body.

“You’ll take my cock and you’ll thank me for it. It’s the least you can do.” The sob that left you was almost pathetic, torn between the arousal thumping through your veins and the fear holding you hostage. Would he ever forgive you? Would he ever ask you to tell your side of the story? Thoughts that were lost the second he pushed into you from behind.

It had been too long since Sihtric had last touched you, and yet your body clung to him, begging him to keep on going, to fuck you like you were his. God, how much you wanted to be his, the one to care for, the one who’d hold you close whenever you needed him to. The way he moaned into your ear, hand placed over your mouth to keep you quiet, made you shudder in need.

“Fuck, they could hang me for humping a traitor, but you feel too good, you always have.” His pleasure-drunken words made you clench around him, eyes squeezed shut to keep your tears from rolling down your cheeks. This was your fault, your wrongdoing, and now you were paying the price, taking the cock of the man you loved, while he called you a traitor.

You whimpered his name, unable to keep on speaking as his cock nudged against the swollen spot, making you see stars. With your hands pressed against the cold stones, you tried to ground yourself, hoping that you wouldn’t pass out from the intense sensations, especially when he had you on your two feet.

The sounds of your bodies meeting grew louder as Sihtric felt your orgasm nearing, already done for, set on pushing you over the edge. Tears now dripped from your eyes, guided by the intense pleasure only Sihtric made you feel. Another choked gasp left you as you came on his cock, begging him to follow.

Sihtric came moments later, imprinting himself on your walls with a groan. The both of you were heavily panting, but while you had your eyes squeezed shut, Sihtric already pulled out of you, wordlessly redressing himself. Slowly you turned towards him, eyebrows furrowed, eyes glassy.

You wanted to beg him for forgiveness, once again desperate to regain his trust, but he kept on studying you, wordlessly. And without another word leaving him, he turned from you, leaving you behind, with the cell unlocked. He was giving you a way out, a test, nothing more than a test.

Taglist: @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @hb8301 @zillahvathek @alexagirlie @gemini-mama @verenahx @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @willowbrookesblog @thenameswinter99 @ellabellabus07 @mcbuckyyyy @kirtseinw

#sihtric #sihtric x reader #the last kingdom #tlk #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric x you #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #tlk fanfic #sihtric smut

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witchthewriter · 3 months

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𝐒𝐢𝐡𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

Warnings: some spoilers for the series xx

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

ISTP

Hufflepuff

Chaotic Good

Scorpio Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Cancer Rising

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

・The most sweetest, most gentle and most loyal husband you could ever imagine.

・Exactly like the ones in the romance novels - you are his world.

・And he would do ANYTHING for you. Sounds cliche but he would literally climb the tallest mountain, ask Uhtred to help him bring down the moon, Sihtric is crazy in love with you. And it doesn't stop after the honeymoon phase.

・Any part of your body that you dislike, Sihtric is the first one to be like "what? I don't get it. You are ... the most glorious person to ever walk on midguard."

・Has cried while alone when he's away from you.

・Not when he's been asked by Uhtred to spy though - he just thinks about you when it's safe to do so (he takes caring for his friends very seriously. He's big on loyalty.)

・Further with the loyalty comment; it's actually hilarious that it was he and Uhtred who set up that ruse in season 3. Sihtric would rather die than actually be that person

・Buys you any and every kind of jewellery; bracelets, rings, earrings, necklaces. If you follow his religion/way of life, then he buys you your own thor's hammer pendant.

・When he places it around your neck, he tugs you forward and leans his head against your forehead.

・Calls you, "sweetheart," "my love," "beautiful/handsome". But also likes to call you cheeky ones too: "troublemaker," "danger."

・Puppy god eyes, puppy dog eyes, PUPPY DOG EYES. He doesn't even know he's doing it. It was practically beaten out of him when he was younger by his father and half-brother.

・But when he realised he was doing it, Sihtric thought, 'I have never felt safe enough to act like this. With anyone.'

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Calm bf (Sihtric) x Hyper gf/bf/non-binary partner (You)

Gives Jewellery (Sihtric) x Tries To Wear Everything Every Day To Make Them Happy (You)

Black Cat (You) x Black Bat (Sihtric)

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Enemies to Lovers

You first saw Sihtric when he was living with his wretched father. You never expected to find him tied up under Uhtred's command.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Lady of the Dawn by Peter Gundry

𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 🔞 No one under the age of 18 past this point.

・When he first gets back from being away from you, he's hungry - like a dog in heat, he's rough, he needs to feel you, all of you.

・Sihtric's favourite thing to do is go down on you. Your juices, your smells; it drives him mad.

・After he's made you cum thrice, he rubs your cum/juices on his clothes just in case he has to leave again. He wants to be able to smell you.

・It has become a ritual now - if he doesn't then it's bad luck in his mind.

・If Sihtric is home for a while then his fucking turns into love making. Gentle, loving, slow, passionate.

・Long strokes, in and out of you while kissing every part of your face from above, nuzzling his face into your neck.

・Has a massive breeding kink (even if your body does not have the means to create a child); he likes to talk dirty while pumping into you.

"That's it, let me cum inside you my love. I want to put a child in you."

・When you agree with a whimper, it sends him over the edge. Hot ropes of cum shooting inside you.

・Sihtric keeps pumping though. The fantasy of having a large family with you made his cock hard again.

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wrenwrongs · 3 months

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Worth More Than Silver

Sihtric/fem!Reader

Summary: Sihtric has been frequenting the brothel in Winchester. Osferth and Uhtred investigate why he still pays for your company despite his claim that you love him.

Word Count: 1.3k

cw: afab reader, she/her pronouns, use of the word whore (2x), childbirth (not described in detail), slight deviations from canon timeline, Sihtric and his football team of kids

“Have you made a decision yet?” asked Sihtric, his horse striding alongside Uhtred’s own. “Have you given it thought?”

“Given thought to what?” His Lord answered in false ignorance. It gnawed at Sihtric’s insides. He would not give up in his quest, yet he knew if he pushed the subject too hard Uhtred was wont to set his denial in stone. Lady Gisela seemed to take pity on him.

“Uhtred,” she warned from her place next to her husband.

With her aid, Sihtric continued, “My request to marry, Lord. I wish to have a family.” It was true. More true was that he wished to have a family with you.

He had been captivated from the first night he met you. Your laugh ringing out as he threw you on to the bed. How your brushed your fingers through his hair as you caught your breath. Still, he knew it was nothing more than he had payed for.

It was almost a fortnight later when he saw you walking down the road, the frost had tinged your cheeks red. Your arms were overburdened with logs as you trudged though the ankle high snow. He carried them for you to your home; a small room with a bed and a hearth. When you invited him in for tea, he saw how you had decorated with herbs drying from the ceiling, furs, and paint all along the walls. It was a proper home in his eyes, not just the place you rested your head as he had become accustomed to.

You laughed as he regaled the time he and Finan strapped fake legs to a horse and convinced a drunk Uhtred that it was Sleipnir, the chip in your front tooth evident, and he knew he was yours.

A voice broke through his thoughts.

“Lord, you will answer the man.” It was Gisela again. In that moment Sihtric thought her sent by Freyja herself.

Uhtred sighed before turning his head to speak, “I will speak to her at Winchester and give you my decision.”

“Thank you, Lord.” With a grin, he fell back into line as Uhtred shouted back at him.

“But you are to give her no more of your arm-rings, nor silver!”

A gentle breeze swept through the valley, cooling the sweat on their brows. The sun, now past its highest point in the sky, warmed the earth as they arrived in Winchester. Finnan and Sihtric accompanied Uhtred while Osferth was sent out on his own quest.

After visiting your home and inquiring at the brothel, he was directed outside the walls of the capital. There, he spotted a figure emerging from the surrounding trees. The glint of silver around your biceps confirmed your identity.

“My lady,” he spoke softly as he approached, not wanting to startle you.

“I am no Lady,” you responded, the wind rustling your hair. “And I’m not working today.”

“No,” he blushed. “You misunderstand me. I am one of Lord Uhtred’s men.”

You said nothing, but looked upon him with suspicion and doubt.

He cleared his throat before speaking again, “You are Sihtric’s woman are you not?”

“That I am." You stepped closer to him so that the two of you could hear each other clearly. Osferth took a glimpse into the basket you carried. Elderberries and yarrow sat among a myriad of herbs. "You must be the Baby Monk I’ve heard about.”

“You love him?”

“Yes." There was an edge to your voice.

“Yet, you still take his silver?” The hurt in your eyes sent guilt rampaging through him.

“He is not the first man to make promises of love in hopes of a free night. I have seen the heartbreak and shame those girls are left with too many times to allow myself to fall for the same trick.”

“It is no trick. He wishes to marry you.”

“So he says.” You began walking back to the gates leaving Osferth to follow.

“You don’t believe him?”

“I wish to." You nodded to the guards as you passed them. "As much as I believe that Sihtric is different, I know those other women thought the same of the men that left them.”

“He has asked for permission from Lord Uhtred.”

You paused, hands tightening on the basket till your knuckles turned white. “He will not get it,” your voice was cold as you spoke. Osferth opened his mouth to argue, but you had already disappeared into the crowd of the afternoon market.

It was the next morning when Uhtred came to you. Sihtric had already departed after reluctantly leaving your bed and breaking fast together.

“Osferth spoke to me last night. He says your heart is true." Uhtred's words did little to calm your nerves. He sat across from you at your small table, drinking your own blend of vervain and violet tea. You could see his eyes flicker down to watch you tug at loose threads of your sleeve. "I will give my permission for you to marry.”

“Thank you, Lord Uhtred,” you said. Meeting his eyes was no easy feat, still you managed. “Sihtric mentioned last night, that if given your blessing, he wished to marry by the time your company leaves next.”

Uhtred shook his head. “You will come with us.”

A disbelieving laugh escaped before you could contain it. “A Saxon who fights with Irishmen, Danes, and monks now wants a whore to accompany them?”

“Not a whore, a healer. Osferth told me you where gathering herbs.”

“Mathilda’s son has a fever. I just made something to help bring it down.”

“Gisela said you often assist the læce. Do you know how to sew a wound?”

“Yes, Lord.” Though your experiences in doing so were less than pleasant as you struggled with the sight of open flesh. In truth, you would rather never do it again, but if it meant you could be with Sihtric perhaps it would be worth the sting of bile in your throat.

“Then you will be of use to us,” Uhtred said firmly, and you got the impression that he was not one to easily change his mind once it was set. “I will inform Sihtric of my decision. When we depart from Winchester next, you will accompany us.”

“Thank you, My Lord.” You could no longer contain your smile as Uhtred took his leave. As he bade you farewell he took notice of your thumb absent-mindedly stroking one of the rings while you stirred your tea.

Perhaps it should have become routine at this point. Woefully, that was not the case. You had birthed six of your eight children with Sihtric and while the boys joked that pregnant was your perpetual state of being, the labor remained grueling.

“I swear this is the last one,” you said through clenched teeth as the midwife rushed around you.

Sihtric knelt by your side, cringing as you squeezed his hand, “You said that during the last one.”

“I mean it this time. Seven is more than enough.” You suspected Sihtric would have as many as you allowed.

Aethelstan had come into your lives just after you had discovered you were pregnant. You agreed it was best for you to stay back, even after your first daughter was born. Sihtric brought Cynlaef shortly after that, he was less than ten years old at the time.

It seemed that if you weren’t with child when he and the others returned you would be by the time they left. True to the promise he made on your wedding night, he was present for as many of the births as he could be. Because then came the twins and later your youngest daughter, named Fianna after Finan who had pestered you one too many times about naming a son after him. Truthfully, if Osferth had been any younger you would have counted him among them.

It felt like ages before the midwife placed the boy in your arms. Sihtric turned to Uhtred and spoke, “Last chance to have one named after you Lord.”

“No.” Both Uhtred and you said at once. But you supposed your husband was right, it was the last chance to name your child after someone you both loved so dearly.

You turned back to the babe pressed against your skin, your words barely above a whisper, “His name is Osferth.”

#s: fic #sihtric x reader #sihtric imagine #sihtric fic #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric kjartansson imagine #sihtric kjartansson x reader #tlk x reader #tlk imagine #tlk fic #my posts #what is a queue like me doing in a post like this?

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volklana · 6 days

Text

My Woman. My Woman. My Wife.

Title comes from this song:

Request: All the sihtric fics😭 just fluff…mingled with angst. I just know he’s the most attentive lover ever. Always bringing flowers, making you laugh(bc his one liners are hilarious), sharing his furs with you… but I know he must have a temper. And he’s always gone away for so long. Poor rat boy probably thinks he’d be a terrible husband because of how often he’s gone for long periods of time. But he’s not😭 he’s the best husband ever. Anyway I got carried away, just all the sihtric things

@canyonmoon-2 I really hope I did your idea justice xx

Warnings: Details the loss of a baby and the grief in the aftermath of that loss. If that isn't for you, or it's too traumatic please don't read, protect your peace and you can catch me next time xx

Not proof read but mistakes will be corrected in time.

Requests are open:

The ride back to Winchester seemed to be taking longer the closer he actually got to the city.

He was beginning to feel lightheaded with dizziness at the thought of seeing you again.

Sihtric was besotted with you, had been from the moment he laid eyes on you, catching your eye across the square, hauling your cart of produce to sell at the market.

At first he was too shy to even look you in your eye as he paid for apples he didn’t even need, but as soon as your fingers accidentally brushed, he couldn’t help but delight in the shy smile that you shot his way, as you wished him to have a good day.

He couldn’t help but offer to escort you to your homestead that night, he had claimed it was to keep you safe but instead it was to steal a few more moments with you, you had walked in easy silence until you suddenly stopped and turned to face him.

“You haven’t told me your name.” you giggled and Sihtric’s face lit up “You’re walking me all this way and I don’t even know your name.”

“You would let a man you don’t know walk you home and you never even thought to ask his name. A pagan man at that. What would your nailed god say?”

“I know you are one of Uhtred’s men,” you considered.

“And that is the only reason you would allow me to accompany you?” Sihtric teased.

“That is the main reason, but I do have others,” you teased back.

“And what would those other reasons be lady?” he quirked his head to examine your face and you smiled, that gorgeous smile his way again.

“Perhaps we should start with your name first,” you giggled and goddamn it Sihtric wanted to get down on his knee right then and there for you, “I am Sihtric, lady,” he smiled, suddenly shy and you considered him for a moment, “I am y/n.”

And so that became your weekly routine, Sihtric would walk you home from the market and you would chat easily. He would linger awkwardly outside your home, neither one of you wanting to say goodbye until the day when he got a sudden surge of confidence, Thor knows from where and sprung forward to press his lips against yours. You absolutely melted into his touch and giggled when he pulled away, his whole face lighting up with a smile, “I have been waiting weeks for you to do that Sihtric,” you giggled and for good measure he kissed you again.

“Sihtric, you barely know her,” Uhtred warned.

“I know enough lord,” he uttered shyly and Gisela considered him gently.

“You love her,” she eased after a while and Sihtric’s face broke out in a smile again.

“And she loves me. She tells me all the time,” he rushed before his cheeks lit up crimson with embarrassment, and Gisela couldn’t help her amused smile.

She reached a hand to Uhtred who frowned her way at first, a silent conversation happening between their eyes.

“Very well Sihtric, you may marry your lady,” he sighed but Sihtric had already taken to running.

“Thank you. Thank you lord,” he shouted over his shoulder and he was away to find you scooping you into his arms, peppering kisses to any part of your skin he could reach.

Sihtric was the most attentive man you had ever known. He loved you in ways you hadn’t even known possible. There was not a single moment you were together that his hands were not on yours. You joked that he should climb inside you and live in your skeleton more than once, but you had a feeling that he would’ve if he could. Opting instead to be inside you in the only way he could, as many times a day as you would allow, and you would never refuse him.

Nobody had ever loved Sihtric, no one had ever been tender with him. No one had ever shown him that he was worthy of beautiful things and you vowed to spend every day of your life proving to him that he did.

Gentle hands traced scars and kissed the parts of his skin that had been broken by his father’s cruelty and sometimes the feeling was so intense for Sihtric he could barely bring himself to look you in the eye.

“What is it love?” you murmured pressing kisses to his his worried brow.

“I have to go away with Uhtred again.”

“To battle?” you asked gently, caressing his face.

“To battle,” he confirmed.

“Sihtric, you love being a warrior. What is this about?”

“I don’t want to be without you. To go back to how it felt before I knew you. The darkness…”

“I will be here waiting for you. Right here,” you took his hand and placed it over your chest, “Feel my heart, know it is real and it belongs to you. I will be here, loving you.”

Sihtric surged forward and pressed his lips to your needily, feeling reassured that his woman would be waiting for him.

You had built a wonderful life together with Sihtric, and you were happier than you had been in your life, but Sihtric struggled with leaving you every time.

He was weary from the ride but the thought of you pressed him forward.

As soon as he and Finan dismounted, Finan urged him to come for a drink in the alehouse but Sihtric was furiously shaking his head and excitedly told him he was away to find his wife.

He burst through the door of your home, flowers in hand, calling your name but the smile slipped from his face when instead of being greeted by the sight of his wife, he was instead greeted by Hild.

“Where is she Hild?” he almost shrieked, panic coursing through him, making it hard to breathe.

Hild squeezed his arm gently and as reassuringly as she could, but her face was grave, and she led him through to the bedroom, where Sihtric collapsed down to his knees by your side, the sight of your deathly pale skin and gaunt face, enough to send him into a spiral.

“What is it? My love? My Life?” he was begging, stroking your hair, he wanted to pull away from the coldness of your skin. You were always warm, his warmth his sunshine.

“It was a little boy,” you whispered weakly “We had a baby boy, Sihtric.”

His head was reeling, he hadn’t even known you were pregnant before he left, nor had you.

“I couldn’t keep him,” you suddenly cried, giant sobs wracking your weak body, “I lost him. I lost him.” you were hysterical and all Sihtric could do was crush him to you and wrap you up in his arms.

Sihtric held you, letting you cry on him until you had no tears left, repeating that he was sorry, he was so sorry, and none of this was your fault, and when your eyes finally slipped closed he allowed his own tears to fall.

Hild took him into her embrace when he finally re emerged from the bedroom, and they made their way outside, where under the shade of a leafy oak, he found the small arrangement of burial stones, that he threw himself upon and wept.

“She insisted we honour your traditions,” Hild finally broke the silence. “I had Gisela’s help, but she arranged the stones herself, nearly killed herself in the process.”

“Will she live?” he finally mustered the strength to beg.

“She is very weak, and if god..if the gods are good, she will live,” Hild reassured

“She has to,” Sihtric whispered “Or you may as well place me here with my boy.”

You regained your strength over the next few weeks, slowly and with the help of Hild and Sihtric. Sihtric never left your side, fetching you food, bringing you extra furs to keep you warm and at night, he pulled you as physically close as possible, lamenting the loss of your warmth, for now you always felt cold to him.

But soon you were back on your feet again, well enough to walk, well enough to have Gisela and Uhtred over for dinner and well enough to make love to Sihtric for the first time in weeks since he had got home.

Sihtric was wound tighter than a leash the past few days, his face constantly pulled into a frown lately, and no matter how much you tried you could not seem to pull him from the depths.

“What have I told you?” he snapped suddenly, and you lowered your gaze to the floor, “You are my woman, there is no need for you to do these jobs anymore. I will do it!” he snapped.

You had been attempting to help him ready his horse, as you had done a million times, lifting his heavy saddle bag up to attach to his saddle.

You watched him silently as he roughly threw his things together. You were rarely on the receiving end of Sihtric’s temper but lately you seemed to be finding yourself under it more and more.

He made to mount his horse and you couldn’t help the phrase that fell from your lips.

“You blame me for his loss?” you stated but it was more like a question.

Sihtric stilled all action, but he did not turn to face you.

“That is why you cannot speak to me with tenderness these days. Is it not?” your voice was small and you fiddled with a thread on your sleeve.

“If you cannot love me anymore. If I cannot make you happy, then I set you free. I told you the night we first made love that you deserved to be happy, and If I cannot do that for you, I set you free. I set you free because I love you more than anything on this earth and I cannot bear you to be this unhappy”

“How can you still love me?” he snarled, turning to face you, wild eyed.

“I was not here. I left you alone. I left you to endure his loss alone,” he was clawing at the skin on his left forearm, leaving fresh nail marks, an old habit from when Kjartan would lock him in the cellar, knowing a beating or some other form of humiliation was coming his way. If he hurt himself first, the next hurt would never be as bad.

“Set me free because you would be better off without my weight around your neck. Set me free so you may find a man who can love you the way you deserve. A man who will never leave you alone another second of his life. But do not dare set me free because you love me. I do not deserve your love, not now and I certainly never did.”

You reached for him, but he pulled his arm from your grasp, your head reeling from his lack of tenderness.

“If you leave me now Sihtric, in this moment here, that will be the only time you will have abandoned me. The only time you will have left me when I really needed you.”

Sihtric looked at you conflicted, two mismatched eyes trying to frantically find the right thing to say.

“I can’t forgive myself,” he finally mumbled “And to think you could ever believe that I blame you for his loss. There is only one person at fault here and that is me. Because I cannot promise that I will never leave you alone again.”

“I knew who you were when I agreed to marry you. I knew you then, as I know you now and I know for every time you leave me you will always return.” He finally allowed himself to be pulled into your arms, and you tutted at the unmistakable scratches on his arm, he had been hurting himself for a while.

“Oh my love,” you cried “All this time I have thought you were blaming me, but you have been burdening yourself with the blame of this loss.”

Sihtric nodded in your arms and you traced your thumb across the scar on his face, before placing a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Neither of us are to blame my love, the gods were cruel.” he nodded in your hands finally allowing his eyes to soften, boring into yours and when he looked at you this way, you could always see the small, skinny boy who only ever knew hurt, fear and humiliation but never love.

“Talk never of setting me free again my love,” he begged, closing the distance to lean his forehead against yours “My place, my only place is here by your side. My woman. My woman. My wife.”

Tagging: @canyonmoon-2 @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @whitedarkmoonflower @shamrockqueen thenameswinter99 foxyanon

#sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #volklana writes

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idksmtms · 3 months

Text

Sihtric Kjartansson Masterlist

Series

Under construction...

Oneshots

Flowers and Loyalty - (Sihtric Kjartansson x Uhtred's Daughter!reader - coming soon)

After begging for weeks, Sihtric's lord finally gives him permission to marry. Except his lord is in for a shock when Sihtric comes knocking at your door, asking for your hand in marriage...

A Captive - (Sihtric Kjartansson x reader - coming soon)

Every day in Dunholm, on order of Kjartan, Sihtric is sent to the dungeons to feed you. You, a young girl living with dogs in a dungeon. You, a gentle soul slowly driven to madness, who has stolen the heart from Sihtric without him even knowing it... (reader is kinda like Thyra in this)

AUs

Norse Mythology AUs

To Have, To Hold, But First, To Woo - (Freyr!Sihtric x Gerðr!reader)

Sihtric is madly in love and has become desperate. With no better plan in his mind, he sends Uhtred and Finan to try and woo you for him. - Based on a Norse Myth -

Mind Your Manners - (Thor!Sihtric x Sif!reader - coming soon)

The giant Hrungnir threatens to kidnap you, Sihtric's beloved wife, and Sihtric will not let this go unpunished.

#sihtric #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #the last kingdom fanfic #the last kingdom fic #tlk fanfic #tlk #tlk fandom #tlk season 2 #sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric fic #sihtric smut #sihtric x oc #sihtric kjartansson x reader #sihtric kjartansson x you #arnas fedaravicius

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halfmylife · 11 months

Note

Could you do sihtric x reader with prompts 70 and 71

Pairing Sihtric x Reader

Prompts “I’d stop that before someone thinks you actually like me.”

“You’re a nightmare, you know that?”

Tags Fluff, slight mentions of violence.

A/N I loved writing this and I hope you enjoy! Thank you for the request!

The training had been gruelling. Sihtric had not held back in the daily spars that he took you through and barely gave your body a break. Every inch of you ached and you could barely keep your sword up. You half regretted even asking him.

Maybe one of the others would’ve been kinder. Still the others weren’t as kind on your eyes as Sihtric was even when he was shouting out orders and giving you constant criticism.

“Don’t let your guard down!” Sihtric called as you backed away, dropping your sword arm slightly, the blade grazing through the mud underfoot. His eyes were trained on you, watching your body like a predator. Something about his stare made your squirm but you hardly minded.

“It’s not like you’ve told me that before.” You grumbled to yourself sarcastically. You rolled your shoulders hoping it might ease the aching in your back. It didn’t.

“Maybe try listening to my advice then.” You should’ve known he would hear you.

“It’s hard to listen to when you’re constantly barking it out.” You shouted back, forcing yourself into a defensive position as he started to circle you. You really were like his prey. “Softer words might be nicer every now and then.”

“Do you think your enemy will use soft words to lighten the blow?” He cocked his head as he effortlessly twirled his blade. You would slap him around the head for being so cocky if you could get a hit in.

“That’s not the point.” You retorted, circling with him.

“Then what is your point?” He seemed far more relaxed than you. His shoulders sagged and his sword was like air in his grasp, he barely struggled with the weight. It was all so natural for him and he knew it.

“My point is, I can’t learn if you’re constantly snapping the same instructions at me.” As you both continued to move, you could feel the weight in your arm becoming too much, the sword was straining against you. You had half the mind to let it drop.

“I wouldn’t have to snap the same thing over again if you actually listened.” He shrugged, clearly this whole ordeal didn’t bother him like it did you.

“I am listening!” You snapped. The training had been tough and you knew you were better than before, at least now you could actually hold a sword and strike. Whether those strikes ever actually landed or not was a different matter. Regardless it grew harder by the day and Sihtric’s constant badgering didn’t help.

“You’re a nightmare, you know that?” He laughed to himself as stopped moving. You took that as a queue to strike. It just so happened that it was a terrible idea.

Just as you lunged forward with your blade, Sihtric managed to step aside, not even lifting his own. He moved with ease as he spun to get behind you, tapping the top of your thigh with the flat of his sword. He let out a low chuckle as you spun around, fury in your eyes.

You moved forward again, arching your sword down. Sihtric was able to side step each one. It was as though you were playing two very different games. The anger rose through you and you let it blindly guide you as you slashed forward.

When Sihtric actually decided to use his blade, you realised this fight would be over soon. He parried every strike easily and barely broke a sweat as he swiped you away every time without fail. You were growing tired and wanted nothing more than for this to end.

With one final push of strength you leapt forward towards him. Sihtric blocked the blow, your swords clashing as you stood close to one another, only the steel separating the pair of you. He gave a slight push against the metal, sending you back. Your footing gave way and you soon found yourself down on the mud, the air pushed out of your lungs.

You hit the floor the same time as your blade and you grunted from the impact. Sihtric’s usually calm demeanour dropped for a second as he discarded his own blade, a wave of concern washing over his features.

“You alright?” He asked kneeling down beside you. As you tried to push yourself up, his hand was on your back in an instant, keeping you steady.

“Never better.” You grunted. When you tried to stand, Sihtric’s hand didn’t leave your back guiding you up as his other free hand took your own. You were able to use his weight to get back onto your feet with ease, brushing yourself off when you were finally steady.

“You sure? You took that pretty hard.” Still his hands were on you, keeping you in place as his eyes wracked over your body. The concern was sweet enough but the way he held you was something else.

“I’d stop that before someone thinks you actually like me.” You smirked, watching him carefully as he adjusted his hold on your back. His hand trailed further down, turning you towards him.

“Maybe I do.” There was a glint in his eye as he held you close, closer than normal. The words dripped from his lips like honey and you almost thought your legs would give way. He held you there for a second, his eyes drifting to your lips and staying there for a little too long before he let go and turned his back on you. “Come on, sword up.”

#the last kingdom #tlk #the last kingdom fanfic #tlk fanfic #reader fic #reader insert #x reader #tlk sihtric #sihtric the last kingdom #sihtric #sihtric fic #sihtric x reader

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synintheraven · 4 months

Text

✵pairing: sihtric kjartansson x fem!reader

✵summary: you finally find Ivarr Ragnarsson and a cup of ale gives an unexpected turn of events between the two of you.

✵tw: mentions of violence, mentions of alcohol, drinking, other than that lots of fluff :p

✵word count: 1,3k

characters info | part five

The sun was hiding behind clouds and a thin layer of snow covered the hills around us. It was cold, the wind crawled under my clothes and a shiver climbed my spine as their eyes were on me.

We had just arrived to Repton, yet the little army under Ivarr and Ubba's command was far more cautious than that of Tamworth. And as their famously reckless Lord stood proud before us, the rabid dogs followed close behind.

There were no children, no wives. Only soldiers dressed in mail, their Lord's most trusted hounds.

—And what of her? Is she your gift to me? —Ivarr asked almost too proud of himself and I was ready to bite back, but Sihtric was quicker to answer.

—She’s my woman. —He said. I frowned, his words still echoing in my head.

—Slave girl? —The Ragnarsson grinned, his eyes fixed on my expression. —Either that or she hates your cock.

Sihtric then gave me a strange look, his hand finding its way along my back and stopping where my butt joined my back, pulling me awkwardly closer to his side. —We’re just tired, it was a long journey from Theotford.

Surprisingly, he seemed to bite on Sihtric’s lie, while I pictured myself with a knife going through the Dane's throat.

—So, why are you here? Guthrum isn’t treating his hounds right?

—We got word that a son of Ragnar had taken Repton, so we thought to serve a true dane lord was better than to follow a stupid man to his defeat.

We knew nothing about Guthrum; not the colour of his banner nor the look of the man’s face. But it was easy to make up a lie when the man himself wasn’t there to deny it, though in truth Guthrum would’ve embraced us as his warriors as long as we looked like Danes.

Ivarr was hesitant, like dry weeds waiting on a spark to set ablaze. Yet he welcomed the fire, not afraid to get burnt.

—Ha! —He said loudly, his gaze studying me with curiosity as he crossed his arms. —And you, woman? Can you fight? Or are you only here to please this pretty warrior? —He finished as he looked at Sihtric, but he was out of words.

—The son of Ragnar wants me to teach him how to use his axe? —I snapped back happily, but my man, the one I wasn’t aware I had, was concerned about Ivarr’s deadly stare.

—I love sassy bitches, you can stay. —He smiled widely, as the men around us joined their lord with a grin. —Same for you, pretty boy.

Everything was blurry; the candles provided the room with a gloomy light and the flickering flames made the shadows around us deeper than they really were, like if whole territories hid among that darkness.

It made me wonder about the unknown, all that is hidden from plain sight but lurks in the blackness of the night. The wild beasts, the magic creatures, and all else that is hidden to us mortals.

I could hear the voices from the drunken warriors around me, their laughter, their joy after a succesful battle. The sound of wooden jars and metal clashing as they celebrated with ale, their harsh steps on the floor.

I was hearing Sihtric as he talked, telling me one more time stories about all his battles, all he had conquered to get here, to England. All about the raids: priceless treasures, gold-filled chests and wealthy norse fools ready to give everything up if only to escape an unneccesary fight, all that he'd managed to steal for himself after years of serving under Yggr's banner.

I watched as he wrapped his hands around the mug and a puddle of ale drenched the linen around his arms, yet he didn't seem to care. A tattoo showed from under his sleeve, an interesting shape playing in the shadow and hiding from the candle light. He simply kept on talking, ever proud and happy about his stories, his life.

Maybe it was the ale, maybe there was something in the air that night, but his words sounded funny in my ears. He was explaining how he once cut off a man's hand with an axe: the splatter of blood, the horror in that man's voice as he screamed out of pain. But all I could hear was a mumble, his attempt at sounding coherent while the ale made its way through his throat.

And so, I laughed. Sihtric's response was to look at me with a frown, then proceeded to burst out laughing with me.

He suddenly stopped and went completely quiet, worrying me for a moment that perhaps I was the reason of such a sudden change in his reaction, though nothing about his glare betrayed whatever was going on inside the man's head.

A young girl walked in our direction, trying hard to avoid Sihtric's eyes. She was skinnier than the others, with skin as white as snow and several bruises dyeing the flesh around her neck, making it no surprise that she was so afraid of the drunken warriors surrounding her. But she was there to serve drinks and so she would.

Her trembling hands made their best to hold the jar firmly and fill his cup, avoiding eye contact with the fearsome man before me. Yet when she was done and ready to escape, his hand wrapped around her wrist.

For whatever reason, I felt as if fire burnt inside of me; but I couldn't recall what was causing such a feeling, nor could I stop myself from standing up, as if something else was controlling my body.

—You're too pretty to be working at this stinking alehouse. —He said while pulling her closer, watching as the poor girl's panic intensified. —There's nothing to fear, woman, wouldn't you rather be with me than serving all these bastards?

There was a glimpse of a smile on his face, despite the terror in her eyes. He was a good man, for a drunken fool, and would've easily let her go if asked to: but that's not what those women were used to around there, so she was desperately looking for a way out.

So I took his mug in my own hand, spilling all its content on the floor. And his confused reaction was priceless.

—You better have a real good reason for that bullshit, y/n. —He stood up, freeing the girl's wrist, though she was still too frightened by him to go away.

—You're trying to hump some random girl and expect me to act as if I didn't care? —I asked with pride in my voice, though struggling to figure out what those words were supposed to mean.

He frowned again, probably trying to remain offended but failing miserably as a silly smile appeared on his face.

—We're supposed to be together, don't you remember, my love? —My words made no sense, yet they seemed sufficient for him, even if Ivarr and Ubba were too far from us to hear anything we were saying.

—Right! —His eyes widened up and he quickly took a step further from the girl, resting his hand on the messy table. —It's just that I'm so in love with you and to touch you would mean to ruin your pure beauty.

To this day I still don't quite remember what happened that night, nor do I recall when did the scared girl left us and ran back to the owner of that shithole of an alehouse. But I do, however, remember how he started to laugh mid-lie and looked down on his empty mug, only to remember I was the cause of it.

—Or perhaps my dear husband struggles to use his plow sword with his beloved wife. —I snarled back and once again he let out a noisy laugh then went quiet when he realized I had meant no compliment by that.

—Are you challenging me? —He asked with a playful smirk, leaning closer as I wrapped my arms around his neck and tangled my fingers on his hair.

My heart was beating hard: surprised at the shiver running through my body as I felt his skin on the tip of my fingers. And, for the first time since I’ve met him, something about his gaze felt different.

The candle light reflected on his face, his brown eye looking warm and inviting while the other side was ever bright, sea waters dancing within his eye.

His breath smelt of ale and his hands were getting a little too comfortable around my waist, but that didn’t stop me from reaching for his lips; even as he teased me, pressing the tip of his nose to my cheek, but avoiding my touch.

Sihtric’s kiss was full of warmth and necessity, feeling as his hands roughly pressed me onto his body. So I gave in.

#sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson x you #sihtric kjartansson x reader #sihtricxyou #sihtricxreader #sihtric x reader #sihtric fanfiction #sihtric fic #sihtric kjartansson fic #sihtric kjartansson fanfiction #tlk fanfiction #the last kingdom fanfiction #my writing #SORRY forgot to post it earlier hehe

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jacevelaryonswife · 6 months

Text

After Dark | Part Two

As the week went by, an important achievement fell on Sihtric and tormented him completely: you didn't get out of his head.

pairing: sihtric kjartansson x stripper!fem reader | small appearance of finan

warnings: plot? no honey, porn! tiddy sucking, p in vagina sex, fingering, sligh dom!sihtric x slight dom!reader (yeah dude). English is not my first language. 4k of words

after dark masterlist

As the week went by, an important achievement fell on Sihtric and tormented him completely: you didn't get out of his head. It was ridiculous, totally, why would he think of a girl like you?

He was a man with physical needs, of course, but besides being a stripper it was not as if you were the only hot lady in the city (unfortunately the only one who gave him beer in the mouth wearing lingerie), and yet you haunted him in the most erotic way possible since the night of Osferth's birthday.

That was a shot in his ego, obviously. A shot? No, it was a real massacre against his pride. You see, he was not ashamed of your profession or of being attracted to you but with the idea of paying to have sex with a lady. He didn't need it, he never needed it, and he intended to keep not needing it — even after the conversation with Finan that night while they were waiting for the birthday boy.

"I'm not against strippers or anything like that, I just don't like the idea of paying to have sex," he said.

“Ya don't have to pay to sleep with someone, just in case you choose a lady of the night because - don’t tell me, it's her job to charge for sex,” his friend said bluntly.

"I know, but it's not real you know? I don't want to see a girl pretend to fake like in bad porn," the Dane replied low when he saw the waitress approach with another ale.

"Aye, she will only pretend if you don't treat her properly," Finan commented in a tone of obviousness. "You're overthinking about it, see Osferth, he was almost a monk and is being devoured at this moment by a ferocious fox."

And the same ferocious fox was being devoured in his thoughts at that very moment. He wanted nothing more to devastate the fuck out of you.

And that's what Sihtric intended to do by dismissing his mates at the typical pub and going to meet you. Things from work, he justified, driving to the club while continuing to fight the battle against his pride, asking what he tought being some employee if there would be a performance of the dancer whose artistic name — recently discovered by him — was Aura. The confirmation cheered him up to the same intensity that created a small focus of nervousness beneath the stoic and well-constructed feature of his face. Would you remember him?

No, of course not. How many men did you see in one night? How many passed by your bed? He was just another forgettable idiot who paid your bills.

It was informed that that night you would only be on a private stage (damn premium girl), which would make him pay obligatorily for dance and sex — something he obviously wouldn't do. Even though he received enough money to have a comfortable life, he knew that you were not a cheap girl and it was more than absurd for him the double payment. That's why he preferred to ask when you would be available on the other stages again.

Sunday on the main stage, they informed, and he waited restlessly for another day.

A great deal of shame warmed his body as he passed through the door of the club until the moment of sleep. What the hell was he doing? Waiting so long to have an uncertain moment with a girl who could reject him for a larger amount? That you would certainly do that. Where did his pride come from?

He was sure you had bewitched him. Damn Aura.

The rest of Friday night, the whole day of Saturday and the day and afternoon of Sunday were passed in great doubt as to how it should proceed, with rational peaks of not going to the club that night. But then, there he was in the same place last time waiting for the main show to start. (He wasn't proud of it).

Scarlet lights illuminated the center of the stage and you appeared covered with a red overcoat and gloves this time, hair stuck and walking in the direction of the central poledance right from the start. Your gaze ran along the audience from the left end to the right, quickly landing on it with a subtle smirk before the music started.

Standing there with your red coat on

French perfume looking vulnerable

Black widow girl you sit and wait

Till I climb into the web you made

Your performance was different this time, with so many layers covering your body that it limited your movements to the most simple. Until the glove was removed from one hand and a red smoke spread across the stage, with you distancing yourself a little from the poledance and throwing the piece in the direction of the audience anxious for your nudity.

I'm an animal, you got me losing control

The first button on the overcoat has been opened.

You got me losing control

The second came next, revealing some of the crimson lacy bra.

You got me losing control

The third exposed your skin even more, but not enough.

It's not right

Your hair was dramatically revealed to the audience and your head turned in the momentum of the music, taking on poledance with precise and sensual acrobatic movements that impressed him considerably.

I can't take it no more girl

I can't take this abuse

Every time that you walk in the room girl

I'm hypnotized by the way that you move

It's the way that you move

You were upside down with your thighs attaching your body to the structure, undoing the other glove and throwing it again towards the audience, who howl like hungry wolves. In the mismatched eyes of Sihtric your performance was more provocative and impersonal than the previous one, so far, creating a certain discomfort in him, placing him beyond what he had fantasized. That was your job and his sexual desire, nothing more than the basics.

Your position exposed the provocative garter that connected the bottom of the lingerie with the transparent stockings that made up your look, making you even more sensual and domineering especially when maneuvering the vertical bar so well and standing up effortlessly, facing the audience with while playing with the fourth big button of the piece that covered a part of your body.

You looked at the men who made up the audience, a great mix between businessmen, apparently normal men and visibly failed men. Your choice was obvious and rational as you approached a cunt who was proud of the Ralph Lauren suit and the shiny Rolex on his wrist. No word was said by you when collecting the roll of money and releasing the penultimate button with a satisfied smirk, putting the notes inside your bra.

You call me out at your beck and call

Set me up just to watch me fall

Twist and turn bend and sway

I move in then you push away

Sihtric held his breath for some seconds when your gaze found his, maintaining the connection by slowly approaching him like last time. But he was not Osferth, his cheeks did not turn red when you bent down to face him directly, nor when you signaled with the index finger so that he approached to the point that your sentence was audible only to him.

"Did you come back to see me, dear? That made me very happy. I hope you want to follow in the footsteps of your sweet friend too,” your voice was soft as velvet in his ear, not expecting an answer when you got up and continued to face him. "Unbutton the last one, sweetie."

His heart missed a beat when he was remembered by you. Damn it, he felt pathetic for his inner reaction but mirrored his fierce look, without the twinge of fun. Sihtric liked boldness and insubordination in his women and that made him truly truly fucking aroused, he wanted to fuck the shit out of you and wanted to see you fuck him like a real lady of the night.

“Good boy,” your superb smile sent a gust of heat to his cock and he hated how easily he was affected as a teenager at puberty.

I'm an animal you got me losing control

You got me losing control, you got me losing control

It's not right

No, it wasn't certain at all.

Now, without the thick layer that hid your soft curves from the hungry pack you moved more easily in poledance, curling up acrobatically like a cat in a tree. Sihtric got drunk with his sample body and rubbed his palms on the side of his pants to soften the tingling that took them, enjoying his performative and sensual show.

I can't take it no more girl

I can't take this abuse

Every time that you walk in the room girl

I'm hypnotized by the way that you move

It's the way that you move

Upside down again, you looked at him a few times as you moved your arms, crossed your thighs technically against the metal bar and changed position, always subtle and discreetly, but not for him.

I can't take it no more girl

I can't take this abuse

Every time that you walk in the room the room, I'm Hypnotized by the way that you move

It’s the way that you move

Yes, he was fucking hypnotized, so absorbed that he didn't hear the desperate appeals of the men asking to see more of your body. Idiots. All of them, idiots. You would be his lady that night.

I can't tell you the future, I may promise the moon.

Cause every time that you walk in the room girl, I'm hypnotized by the way that you move.

It's the way that you move

What happened when you withdrew from the stage was very fast, Sihtric got up at the same time as the previous idiot and followed the same dark corridor that Finan had gone. The security guards who were willing along the way went unnoticed by the determined focus of the Dane in his fervent steps, contrasting with the calm (excess of security) of the other man who also went looking for him. He waited to go to some administrative or security employee to get to you, not to your own person who arrived at the door of one of the rooms.

“Aura! Aura,” he practically screamed in your direction, watching you turn to face him with a satisfied smirk.

“Good to see you, big boy, I figured you were coming,” you purred as you faced him. "Would you like to come in so we can negotiate?"

Before his confirmation, the other man was opposed to what was being suggested. “Common babe, you won't waste time with anyone having a gold mine right here in front of you."

Fortunately your answer was satisfactory enough that Sihtric did not hold that cunt by the lapel of his ridiculous suit and crush him against the wall. The guy was nothing close to him physically speaking, but the weight of the wallet certainly made him believe that he could have anything he wanted, including you.

"I like to draw my own conclusions, sweetie, especially with those who arrive first." That's all you said as you held Sihtric's hand and guided him inside the room under the asshole's protests. He was probably right to call himself a gold mine and the Dane knew that. That worried him like hell. "Don't call him, guys like him are in droves out there with full wallets and bad sex. It's not my type."

"And what's your type?" He asked emotionlessly in his voice, seeing a malicious little smile form in your features.

“Handsome men like you; good boys, bad boys who need a lesson... it's a long list,” you replied bluntly.

The previous anger felt for him dissipated considerably with your response, recalling the reason for being there in the first place, but still keeping a small fraction in case he needed it.

"What if you're the one who needs a lesson?" His tone was intense and low, entering in your little game.

"Do you think I've been a bad girl?" You purred as you leaned on it, leaning your hands on the deliciously defined chest.

“I think you need a good lesson, babe,” he circled your hips with one hand, holding firmly on to his soft skin, enjoying the warm course the situation was taking. But there was still a small problem. "But before that I need to know about the price."

"... see, I'm an expensive girl but I get very well only with the dance, which makes sex an activity done only when I want and with whom I want," your explanation was categorical, but the sensuality remained in your manners. And then you revealed how much you normally charged and Sihtric was sure that his pressure dropped for long seconds and his eyes widened more than he wanted to show. At the same time that his world overturned furiously, your explanation did not stop.

"But I can always make exceptions for guys to make me cum nice and easy, which I hope is your case, handsome, someone with such beautiful eyes could not be disappointing."

The new suggested value thawed his blood and pumped it directly to the stick. It was still high, but less atrocious than the previous one. It was promising.

"And I have restrictions on certain fetishes, so I need to know what you like to do."

Ah, he really liked to please the ladies. He liked to fuck good and strong beautiful things like you, but he also liked slow and sensual sex.

It was natural for Sihtric to take control of sex, but there were no problems when the lady took the reins of the situation. In fact, he found it extremely aroused to see a girl in a position to take what she wanted from him. Although the dane appreciated a certain versatility, he preferred dominance. And that's almost what he answered.

"So, how do you want me, darling?" You asked as you leaned all over it again, shortening the distance between your lips. “Because I have some ideas, including knowing your name,”

"Mm," he buzzed satisfied only to practically growl next: "It's Sihtric, and I also have some ideas."

"Good," you surprised him with a warm and overwhelming kiss, wrapping the back of his neck with one hand and leaning the other on his shoulder. Sihtric devoured your mouth with an even greater ferocity, circling your back and squeezing your arse and claiming your body for him and only for him.

There was no fear or shyness in the way your lips moved against each other, tasting, biting, sucking, confronting each other. He squeezed your soft flesh and brought you impossibly close during the hot make out, grunting when you pulled the sensitive hair from the back of his neck and pulling your lower lip with your teeth.

"Bad girl," he growled, pushing your body to the edge of the bed and breaking the kiss reluctantly to say, "Take off your clothes for me, slowly."

You bit your lower lip and looked at him seductively, smiling with menace and leisurely lowering the straps of the bra before leaving your breasts in full display. His hands immediately met your warm flesh, holding firmly, squeezing and massaging vigorously.

"Did you like them, babe?" You sighed when he turned both halos between his fingers.

“A lot. You're fucking gorgeous, lady."

The lower part of the set was the next to be removed, slipping between its soft thighs with ease exhausted.

Not even in the most explicit daydreams would his mind have projected anything close to your magnitude. You were completely ravishing and he wanted nothing more than to devastate you. The Dane attacked the soft skin of your neck with kisses and incisive licks that made your body soften below him, your scent touching on all his senses.

Reluctant to move away from you, his clothes were then discarded and your hands flewed to explore the defined abs marked with some scars. He was a fucking view, especially all hard with pre cum leaking from the tip of his huge cock, holding the condom in his hands.

"Damn, handsome, we're going to have a lot of fun today. But this brand sucks, let me get a better one.”

The dane's answer was a proud smirk, diving over you when pushing you in bed, not wasting time in claiming every little piece of your body with his hands, lips and tongue. First kissing your, neck, collarbone to reach your velvety breasts, turning the halo before licking them and wrapping them around your lips, sucking and bitting like a hungry man, making you moan pleasantly.

“Mmm,” you purred with a smile and caged him between your legs, rubbing your warm intimacy against his thigh.

"Do you want more, babe?” He asked close to his skin.

“Yes Sihtric, give me more!”

“Mmm,” he lowered his attention down your stomach, kissing all the way until he reached your wet heat, groping from the bundle of nerves to the wet entrance. "Fuckin' pretty," his mouth watered in the vision of your perfect body and pussy, longing more than anything to taste and fuck you with his fingers.

Before Sihtric could ask for permission to do that, you took his hand and sucked his index and middle finger, leaving your eyes more open throughout the act. "I'm glad you liked it, darling, because at that moment I need to know what these fingers can do," your velvety voice made his cock squirm and his fingers tingle to satisfy you.

He didn't think twice about inserting a finger into his soft, wet walls, moving slowly to prepare you, biting your lower lip with a soft murmur.

"Hmm," you moaned with the delicious intrusion that came along with the thumb of the other hand on your clitoris, "just like that, babe."

"Are you enjoying it, darling?" He purred with a confident smile, leaning to kiss your stomach and tits.

“A lot,” you massaged his head and brought him closer to your skin, closing your eyes in delight and moaning slyly when he wrapped his fingers. "But I just want to cum on your dick tonight."

He let out a short, nasal laugh, removing his fingers from your walls and rubbing your fluids into your nipples. "What a shame, I wanted to feel you squeezing my fingers like you were doing just now."

"You'll prefer to feel my tightness somewhere else, pretty boy, let me ride this impressive big cock," you groped his chest with your fingers and captured his lips in a short and sloppy kiss, taking control by turning it to climb on his lap.

Allowing you to pick up the condom thrown on the bed, the Dane watched with a low grunt as you laid out the material along his length, pumping a few times to provoke him before taking your position by taking him inside your warm, wet and soft prison slowly. "Damn it," you closed your eyes and stopped halfway, "I need some time to take everything, you’re so big and good."

He held your hips and leaned his feet on the bed to contribute to your movements. “Take your time little lady.” Sihtric was really struggling to let your body adapt, but the delicious tightness of your cunt left him yearning for more.

Your hips got closer and closer to his groin, moistening the entire stretch until your finally reached the base with a long sigh. Sihtric's hands smoothed the sides of your body and handled your tits with dexterity while contemplating you and your body with admiration and lust. Finally.

His weekly torment was being solved and he would do his best to prolong it.

Your initial jumps were smooth, leaning your hands on his chest to establish a constant and light rhythm that made him grunt low in contentment. Although...

Although he was appreciating how your movements intensified, it was not the way he wanted you that night, but he could deal with it for a while, especially when he started hitting his hips with your own. Fuck.

“Hmm, just like that,” you moaned and leaned over to take his lips, which gave him the chance to wrap an arm around your back and hold your body against his, holding your arse with a big hand to fuck you in that position. “Fuck, you're so damn big,” you whined with pleasure on his lips. “It feels amazing,” your head fell into the crooked of his neck.

"Let me know when it's too much, lady, I don't want to hurt you," he wandered with strong breathing before turning your body in a quick and fluid movement down, taking over the top, rubbing his groin against yours.

There was no reluctance in the rhythm he established, reflecting on the way your legs caged him and your arms brought him even closer, making him more intimate than he thought you would like. But who was he to displease with such?

“Sihtric! Keep going!” You sang sweetly, contrasting with the previous dominating attitude, melting and releasing juices on his cock. He grunted in a particularly strong grip followed by a soft tow. “More!”

He hit that spot again and again and almost growled when your nails scratched his back, beating relentlessly at a maddening pace. He was mortally proud of the idea of taking an orgasm out of you so fast that his mind led him into an inconvenient trap: what if you were pretending?

No, he couldn't accept that.

Pressing his thumb on your pearl and sucking the sweet place in the conjuncture between your neck and shoulder, Sithric kept his movements focused on getting your pleasure, taking your breath out and making your body arch violently against his with a loud moan, squeezing him in every way for dear life, leaving him almost painfully motionless throughout your high.

You were a damn sight with eyes closed and mouth between open, then staring at you with a satisfied and open smile. "Fuck… if I had known it would be like this I would have let you fuck me in the middle of the stage... in front of all those idiots," you laughed and smoothed his face, "keep going, I want you to cum for me."

If the glorious connection between your bodies leading him to madness was not enough, your dirty words made it difficult to postpone the weight on his balls with each intense and deep thrust on your velvet walls. He was on the edge of the apex when he sank his face into your neck and grunted loudly, making his folds vibrate. It was too much to deal with.

His senses failed when he came strong and hot, filling the condom and your ear with idle and guttural sounds while squeezing your hip with a force that would be felt for days. Sihtric leaned on the opposite forearm so as not to deposit all the weight on you during the climax, delighting in the newly formed sweat where your breasts and his chest were.

"Fuck," the Dane slowly withdrew from your cozy interior and removed the used condom, visually looking for some disposal point inside the room. When you signaled the nearest dumper he drove quickly before falling to your side with irregular breathing and eyes momentarily closed. He was a fucking view.

“I hope it doesn't take long to recover because I need you to fuck me again,” you said after a short moment in comfortable silence.

A quick nasal laugh was his first reaction. "Mmm, you're a needy girl, aren't you?" His mismatched eyes shone with sensuality when they found yours, "don't worry, I intend to make good use of time."

An open and satisfied smile was the preceptor of your answer. “Good. I have more ideas."

═════════════════════

— taglist: @gemini-mama @lexwolfhale @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @tssf-imagines @chompchompluke

#tlk sihtric #sihtric kjartansson x reader #sihtric x reader #sihtric smut #sihtric x you #sihtric fic #sihtric kjartansson #osferth #finan #tlk #tlk fic #modern!sihtric #modern tlk #modern sihtric

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 1 day

Text

A Danish Werewolf in The City

Sihtric's Lore.

Note: additional lore to my werewolf!Sihtric fic.

Warnings: 18+! horror/gore/murder described.

Pairing: none, just Sihtric.

Wordcount: 1,7k

Masterlist

Sihtric's eyes darted over the cut out pieces of newspapers, after he had taken the old shoebox they were kept in out of his last moving box. The lid had come off during the travel to his current location; his brand new house in a brand new city. He had recently bought the place as he had obtained a new job as a vet, another attempt to start all over again after his turbulent life. Sihtric had moved towns often in his lifetime, in order to keep his werewolf identity hidden, but now that he was a fully grown man and had his werewolf urges under control, he hoped he could finally settle down and stay in one place. It was the first day of his new life, but he would never be able to run away from his past completely, and he couldn't ignore the headlines that stared up at him.

He had kept all the news articles about his gruesome doings over the years, tucked away in the shoebox and always kept hidden far under his bed, wherever he resided at. The cut outs weren't trophies to him, like how some serial killers kept items of their victims as a fond memory of their deeds, in fact, these articles were the complete opposite to him.

Sihtric wasn't proud of his murders, and had kept the printed memories as a reminder that he never wanted to become like the beast from his past again. He never wanted to attack or murder again, with the exception of slaughtering wild animals which he simply needed to feed on in order to survive and still his hunger for blood. But never again would he want another innocent human-like being to be at the receiving end of his werewolf claws. He never wanted to kill again for no reason, nor if the reason was purely being revenge. But most of all, he simply never wanted to turn into his father, who had abandoned him from his pack and tribe.

Sihtric sat down on his bed and looked at the pages he had kept. Vivid memories came back to him as he could never forget awful murders he had committed and the horrendous attempts he had made to break the werewolf curse passed onto him. But nothing ever worked and he remained cursed until this very day. He had to live with the weight of his dark and bloody past on his shoulders for as long as his heart would continue to beat. Yet that weight was barely a punishment in Sihtric's eyes, for if anything, he felt his punishment should be death.

But death would be mercy, a mercy he did not deserve.

Sihtric was barely 18 when his first shift happened during a full Moon. And it had happened in the small room he rented just on the outskirts of town, for the city centre was a place he could not afford to live in. Nor did he want to, as he tried to keep a low profile and did not need much space either.

The small room, which belonged to a lovely old and retired couple, was located on the second floor of the house. His room held a single bed, an old tv and a clothing cabinet, all of which were used by many strangers before him as they came with the room. He also had a sink with stains on it that wouldn't come off, and a half broken mirror hung above it. There was a tiny improvised kitchen in the corner of his room, underneath the only window he had which couldn't open fully because a cupboard blocked it. The kitchen came with an old microwave too, which he used to warm up quick meals with every day, and the device was clearly a fire hazard.

His room was old and musty, with a worn out wooden floor while black mold decorated parts of the ceiling and walls. Sihtric had covered up the black patches on the wall with some posters, which he had secretly ripped out of a few car magazines in the shop down the street. The bathroom next to his room was shared with the old couple, who lived downstairs, and he occasionally passed them as he went up to his room. The couple liked Sihtric because he was quiet. They could tell he was troubled but, as he never really opened up to them, they let him be and never complained as long as he paid his rent in time. Sihtric was still young and struggled to afford living with the money he had, which he earned by delivering newspapers in the very early morning, before the town would wake.

Several full Moons before his first shift he began to notice a change inside of him. He always knew he had werewolf blood inside of him, as his father, Kjartan, was cursed to be a werewolf. Technically Sihtric belonged to the tribe of his father, but he was abandoned as a young boy, for his mother had been human and died while giving birth to him, and his mother was not married to his father. Kjartan was married to a werewolf lady but had committed adultery, with Sihtric as result and being a permanent reminder. A permanent reminder he wanted to forget, and so Sihtric was neglected and forced to leave the pack he never really seemed to belong to. And looking back, Sihtric was glad he got away from his father, for his father was a brutal killer, a foul beast, and he was nicknamed Kjartan the Cruel for his many cruel deeds to the innocent, both human and other creatures.

After Sihtric's painful first transformation, he felt incredibly powerful. He was in luck, for the old couple was away for the weekend during the full Moon, so they never heard the bone chilling sounds that came from his room as he snapped out of his skin. Sihtric was confused once transformed, but also hungry. So very hungry. And he had jumped out of his window, shattering the glass as he went through it before landing on all fours on the well kept lawn, and he then leaped around the neighbourhood, finding his way to the city centre as the scent of fresh human meat lured him…

Sihtric's first kill was an awkward one, for he had no idea yet of how to control the beast he had turned into. He had sniffed out a meal, a student he found out a week later after the body was discovered, and he had stalked his prey while disguised as a black wolf. He followed the young man as he left the city and went into the quiet streets. It was dark and chilly outside, and Sihtric learned that night that winter time was an awful time for werewolves.

Before the student could reach his front door, Sihtric had shifted into his gruesome werewolf form and, standing back on his large and hairy hind legs, he snatched the neck of the student's coat and hauled him into the darkened woods nearby. The terrified young man was silenced by his own fear upon seeing the hideous werewolf, while being dragged down to the thick trees and bushes, and what was supposed to be a fast kill ended up being a torturously slow one. The werewolf clawed at his thick coat, and its inner white fluffy filling was pierced by the monster's claws. Sihtric struggled to scratch the man's throat, for a thick scarf was wrapped around the neck and his claws were dull, as the coat's filling had gotten stuck to the sharp edges of his nails. Sihtric then lunged at his victim with his two hands, scratching the poor man's face all over until the body eventually laid lifeless underneath him after a cruel struggle.

Sihtric then tore off the scarf and ripped open the dead man's throat, blood spraying all over his dark fur as he tried to drink it as fast as he could. Sihtric groaned darkly as the blood began to spray less and less, and he used his large tongue to lick the remaining blood off the torn open neck. And then, still hungry, he attempted to tear off the thick winter coat, but it seemed impenetrable for the inexperienced werewolf. Sihtric fought with the zipper in the hopes of simply unzipping the coat, but his claws were too long to get a good hold of it and he lost his patience. He snarled and growled loudly, then delved his teeth in the coat and shook the lifeless body like a ragdoll until all upper clothing was completely torn. And then, on that dark and cold night, under the silver glow of the full Moon, the werewolf helped himself to the insides of his prey. And when his hunger was stilled and his dark fur smudged with blood and guts, he howled loudly at the Moon.

Sihtric had no idea how he had returned home after his feast, nor had any recollection of the fact he had apparently licked himself clean while in wolf form. All he remembered was that the old couple woke him up the next morning as he was asleep in their backyard. They were baffled at the fact Sihtric hadn't died of hypothermia, as they thought he had gone to a bar and returned drunk, having lost his keys and somehow all his clothes too on the way back, before he had fallen asleep on the lawn. Sihtric was embarrassed when he discovered he was without clothes, and he had a raging headache while the old lady was quick to wrap him in a warm blanket made of sheep wool, before preparing him some warm soup.

When the old man asked about the broken window, Sihtric slowly began to remember the night before and simply lied, saying he had no clue and that it must have happened when he wasn't home. His story made no sense at all to the couple, but then all of this could've happened to any young man who got drunk on Saturday night.

Except they would never know that Sihtric had gotten drunk on human blood instead of alcohol. And they would never know he was the cause for the missing student, who was found dead in the woods a week later, an horrific event that shocked the entire city.

And for Sihtric… this was only the start of a very bloody, confusing and violent future.

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#sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #sihtric #tlk #sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #sihtric au #tlk au #werewolf fic #werewolf au #horror fic

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whitedarkmoonflower · 3 months

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You are good

Pairing: Sihtric x reader (female)

Authors note: I refuse all responsibility for this and blame @foxyanon and this post for planting this idea into my head. I think you will recognise your quotes. 😅

Warnings: SMUT 18+

Word Count: 3,3 K

Tags: @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @hb8301 @zillahvathek @alexagirlie @gemini-mama @verenahx @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @willowbrookesblog @thenameswinter99 @ellabellabus07 @mcbuckyyyy @kirtseinw

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Uhtred's tail, you had silently dubbed him. "Yes, lord" and "No, lord" were nearly the only phrases to escape his lips. Most of the time, he seemed to vanish, only to reappear as if conjured by a magic wand at the mere sound of his name, his head tucked into his shoulders, hunched forward, eyes fixed on the ground, avoiding any direct gaze. Horses need to be readied – Sihtric will do that. Not enough wood for the fire – he’s already gone searching. Pretty face and large, alerted eyes. Suspicious eyes.

You didn’t trust him. Uhtred apparently did, but your brother had always had a far too big and soft heart, he tried to hide behind his loud talk about destiny and honour. So, you kept a watchful eye on Sihtric.

You saw him conversing with the horses in hushed, gentle tones, telling them about his day, treating them as if they were his best friends, meticulously brushing their backs. You witnessed him sitting in the darkness, far from the reach of the fire's flickering light, leaning against a tree or a cart, his form curled up, arms wrapped around his legs, chin resting on his knees. He would startle at the sound of raucous, drunken laughter piercing the air. You noticed him shudder when his name was called, jumping to his feet as if he'd been bitten by a venomous snake, and wince when someone unexpectedly placed a hand on his shoulder.

But you saw other things as well. You observed him reach into his saddlebag, generously distributing all his provisions to the beggars who sat at the city gates as you entered Winchester. You saw him remove the silver ring recently bestowed upon him by Uhtred, gifting it to a small, emaciated boy whom he had caught attempting to steal his pouch just moments earlier. You even saw him step in and kick out a drunkard from the alehouse, who was about to take a swing at the serving girl.

"Here, have a drink," you offered him a mug, settling down beside him. He flinched and looked up at you in surprise. A hesitant smile graced Sihtric's lips as he accepted the drink from you, his eyes filled with warmth and gratitude. That's how it all began – your quiet chats away from the noisy laughter and banter by the fireplaces. You were just plain curious and cautious, or so you kept telling yourself. You wanted to learn more about the reserved and timid warrior in your brother’s service. And with each moment, each story he shared as he gradually opened up to you, revealing bits and pieces from his life, your fascination with him never wavered.

Your own path hadn't been a walk in the park either. You'd lost everything except your brother. You both survived that Danish assault, but life played a cruel trick on you, and you didn't luck out like Uhtred who found a new family. Fate turned you into a warrior, fueled by anger, rage, and an unquenchable thirst for revenge. Sometimes, it felt like your heart stopped beating the day the Danes yanked you from your old life, leaving you with an empty, pitch-black hole in your chest. It changed when you reunited with Uhtred. It was like you finally fit into this world again, and your brother's love warmed your heart. Yet, in the quiet of the night, when you were alone with your thoughts, that dark hole in your chest still haunted you, making you wonder if you were really alive.

And now, you'd crossed paths with someone whose journey had been even more rocky as yours, whose soul seemed like an open, bleeding wound. But within him, there still was a warmth that felt like it could rekindle the spark of life within your own heart too.

—----------------------------------------------------

"What a pretty thing!" the guard sneered, his fingers digging into the flesh of your cheeks as he pulled you closer, his foul breath assaulting your senses. It had been your fault; your recklessness had landed both you and Sihtric in this grimy dungeon. But not a single word of reproach had escaped Sihtric's lips. You had a sense that rescue might be on the horizon, as the boy who had been with you had escaped and was likely delivering the news to Uhtred. However, for the moment, you were stuck here.

"Don't touch her!" Sihtric hissed, his voice quivering with anger as he swatted the guard's hand away from you.

"What the hell! Hold that rat for me," the guard grumbled, turning his attention away from you, while the other two forcibly twisted Sihtric's arms behind his back. You winced as the first blow landed on Sihtric's face, jerking his head to the side, followed by another and another. Not a sound escaped his lips as he stared back at the guard, his eyes burning with pure hatred.

Another punch, this time aimed at Sihtric's abdomen, caused him to double over with a grunt, gasping for air. The guards released him, and Sihtric's knees and hands crumpled to the ground. A heavy leather boot struck his stomach, sending him sprawling. Arms defensively wrapped around his head, Sihtric writhed on the floor, convulsing under the brutal onslaught that was shattering his body.

"I hope this serves as a valuable lesson, you filthy heathen. Next time, think before you open your mouth," one of the guards spat, then turned to leave, motioning for the others to follow suit.

"What was that? Are you out of your mind?" you whispered sharply to Sihtric, rushing to his side and kneeling beside him to assess the damage. His nose was bleeding, and his lip and eyebrow were cut. Gently, you placed his arm around your shoulders, wrapping your arm around his waist as you helped him back on his feet and guided him towards a heap of straw in the corner of the cell. He sank heavily onto it, leaning his back and head against the wall.

"At least they got distracted," he shuddered, shoulders quivering, spitting blood and wiping his chin with his sleeve.

"That was incredibly foolish of you. It seems you don't have any broken ribs, but it could have turned out much worse," you tore the lower edge of your tunic and reached out to clean the blood from Sihtric's face with the makeshift rag.

"It's not too high a price to pay if it keeps their attention off you," Sihtric replied, raising his eyes, and for perhaps the first time, your gazes consciously met. "Besides, I'm used to it," he added, a sad smile playing on his lips.

"I can handle myself," you hissed, but your eyes were brimming with gratitude, while Sihtric merely shrugged his shoulders, wincing when your fingers touched his split lip.

—---------------------------------------

Your blood ran hot, adrenaline surging through your veins, a loud thump of your heart in your ears. Your senses sharpened to an almost painful degree as it seemed you could hear the trampled grass beneath your feet crying out. Your fingers clenched tightly around the shaft of your axe, tracing every line and wrinkle carved into the wood, as you melded seamlessly with your weapon, becoming an extension of your arm. There was no escape from the thick, intoxicating scent of blood that hung in the air, clinging to your clothes, seeping through your skin, intensifying the thrill. You sank to your knees, using the shaft of your axe for support, the taste of iron and ashes lingering in your mouth.

"Are you injured?" you flinched at the touch on your shoulder, raising your head only to see Sihtric quickly retract his hand.

Today was the first time you had witnessed him in battle, his eyes ablaze with excitement, his body a coiled spring of taut muscles, moving with purpose and precision. He resembled a young wolf on the hunt, thrilled by his own strength and agility, seamlessly blending with the chaos around him.

A brief, lingering gaze at the young Dane fighting alongside you had cost you dearly. A sudden swing of an axe caught you off guard, your step back too hurried and unsteady, causing you to lose your balance and tumble, releasing your own weapon. The stench of death filled your nostrils, the axe poised in the air, ready to strike, etching itself into your senses as you desperately fumbled to find something to counter the blow.

Too late, a single thought pierced your mind as you watched the blade descend, moving so agonisingly slow that it felt as if time itself had altered its pace just to mock you. A clank of metal and a scorching splatter of blood across your face brought the world back to its normal tempo, as the lifeless body of a red-faced Dane thudded to the ground beside you. A hand reached out, and you grasped it, allowing it to yank you back onto your feet. You met the piercing gaze of two mismatched eyes, filled with anxiety and something more, something profound and indescribable, yet so intense that it sent shivers down your spine. There was no time for words as you both were drawn back into the intricate dance of life and death surrounding you.

"I'm fine," you growled, breathing heavily, your body trembling as you pushed yourself upright with the aid of the axe's shaft. A deep ache surged through your tired muscles. You seized Sihtric's hand, which hung hesitantly in the air, and pulled him along with you, striding towards the trees at the edge of the clearing. He followed, eyes wide with surprise but offering no resistance.

You plunged into the forest, not stopping until the battlefield's clearing had long vanished from view, leaving behind all its chaotic sounds. Silence, you needed silence—to quiet your racing mind.

A startled crow fluttered away, its caw echoing through the trees and your ears. Coming to a halt, you turned to face the utterly bewildered gaze of Sihtric. Pushing him against the nearest tree trunk, your fingers frantically fumbled with the laces of his breeches.

"What... what are you doing?" he gasped, as your hand slipped inside his pants.

"Feeling alive," you whispered, a mischievous smile appearing on your lips as you felt his cock hardening under your touch.

You had grown tired of those lingering glances and deep sighs, of him becoming more like your shadow than even Uhtred's. You had had enough of his trembling fingers and flushed cheeks, his hand brushing against yours when you passed him an ale mug, and the way he held his breath when you sat beside him, your thighs touching.

You wanted him, and you were aware that he craved for you just as intensely. You could feel his blood running hot at this very moment, just as yours did. You had seen it in his eyes, in that brief, fleeting moment after he helped you back to your feet, and you didn't want to wait any longer. You knew him too well by now to realise he wouldn't make the first move, so you had to be the one.

"I... I can't... we can't... Oh, damn it...," Sihtric stammered, a loud, almost desperate moan escaping his lips as you pulled down his breeches, freeing his already fully hard cock, wrapping your hand around it and giving it a few slow, teasing strokes.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t been dreaming about this. I’m not blind. I can see how you look at me,” you purred, biting your lower lip, while your hand kept moving.

"I... Oh gods, fuck... You're Uhtred's sister, and I... I... He'll kill me if..." The words caught in Sihtric's throat, his breathing quickening and growing more erratic, his hands balling into fists as your fingers moved to the tip of his pulsing shaft, collecting the precum and spreading it along its length.

“You just saved my life,” you murmured, going down on your knees before him and licking your lips at the sight of Sihtric’s long and thick, perfectly formed cock, tip slightly red and dripping, “and I haven’t even thanked you for stepping in that time in the dungeon.”

Feeling Sihtric's entire body tense, you glanced up at him from beneath your lashes, savouring the sight of him. Head thrown back, eyes closed, breathing shallow and ragged, he leaned heavily against the tree, his arms hanging somewhat awkwardly by his sides. You were surprised that he still hadn't made a move to touch you.

"This isn't your first time, is it?" you suddenly inquired, raising an eyebrow. You smiled as Sihtric vigorously shook his head. "Good. Then you know what to expect, don't you? You know how good it feels," you teased him, pressing your mouth to his upper thigh, trailing a path with your tongue and placing soft, wet kisses on his naked skin. Sihtric exhaled sharply, but didn’t answer.

“Talk to me,” you ordered, giving a teasing, quick lick to the tip of his cock.

“Aaahhh, y-yes,” Sihtric whimpered, gasping for air, pressing both his palms against the tree.

“But you said, we couldn't do this. Have you changed your mind?” you asked, your tone taunting. “Tell me, do you want me to take you in my mouth? Do you want to feel my lips around you?” you circled his tip with your tongue, your hand jerking him, so teasingly slowly. You could tell you were driving him mad by the way, his breathing was picking up with each gentle lap of your wet and hot tongue and each movement of your hand.

You were aware that you were a brat, torturing him, testing his self-control, but you wanted to know how long he could hold back.You had seen his eyes glint with passion and fervour on the battlefield and you wanted to see them glint the same now. You wanted him to lose his composure and fully surrender to the pleasure you were eager to offer.

"I don't hear you," you pulled back and released your hold on him, causing Sihtric to whine in frustration.

“Yes, yes… fuck, by the gods… I… I want it … I want you…,” he breathed, a mortified look on his pretty face, his cheeks crimson, “I have wanted you since the first moment I saw you. You are so beautiful and so … so strong, but … fuck, ahhh, please, please touch me,” he whined.

“Ask me nicely,” you purred, moving your mouth back closer to his throbbing cock.

“Please, just touch me again. Please, I need you …,” Sihtric begged, his voice shaky, a slight desperation creeping in it. He was finally looking down at you as he reached out, cupping your chin with his rough tattooed fingers, his thumb gliding over your lips, eyes darkening with lust and longing.

You kept your gaze locked with him as you bit your bottom lip and wrapped your fingers around his length again.

“Good, you are such a good boy. Just relax and enjoy. Can you do that for me, handsome? I want you to feel good,” you purred, a satisfied smile on your lips as you heard Sihtric gasp and whimper at your touch.

Sihtric moaned loudly as your lips closed around the tip of his cock, your tongue lapping at it teasingly, and then you moved up taking him in your mouth almost completely. You sucked gently at first, then harder, relishing the soft whines and moans rolling over Sihtric’s lips as your head started to move up and down his length, your palm firmly around the base, stroking the part that didn’t fit in.

Sihtric’s hands were in your hair, not pulling or tugging, just holding on to you, gently and carefully, his trembling fingers caressing you, brushing your hair out of your face. He looked so sweet trying to keep his eyes on you, trying to keep still. You moaned, feeling his grip in your hair tensing, as you fastened your movements, wrapping your lips even tighter around his cock, watching him lose his uneven struggle. It didn’t take long for him to become a whimpering, moaning mess, his hips thrusting forward, eyes half lid, breath heavy and panting as he finally lost himself in the pleasure your mouth was giving him.

“It feels so good…,” he moaned, as his hips started to move faster, fucking your mouth harder and deeper, his eyes rolling in the back of his head as he chased his release, the grip of his fingers in your hair tightening, “I’m close… aaahhh, I can’t take it much longer! Slow down… stop … please, let me … ” he whined through his panting breath, looking down at you questioningly, but you kept sucking him like your life would depend on it, tears bursting into the corners of your eyes, moaning lewdly your mouth stuffed with his cock as your core throbbed in burning need for him.

You loved the desperate, wanton sounds rolling over his lips, the sight of him falling apart, all shaky and whiny, his limbs starting to tremble, because you made him feel so good, because you had this power over him. You and only you! You didn’t let go of him, didn’t allow him to pull out and after a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock twitched in your mouth, his head snapped back and with a loud moan Sihtric was spilling down your throat, cursing under his breath.

“Oh gods… fuck…,” Sihtric looked down at you, breathing heavily and slumping his back against the tree. You let him come down from his high, sucking gently and letting your tongue slide over his sensitive tip, making him moan and twitch a few more times.

Breath panting, Sihtric reached out to you, pulling you off your knees into his embrace as he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, his fingers gently brushing through your hair.

"I...," he began.

"Shh, don't speak," you interrupted him, leaning into his embrace and listening to his racing heartbeat beneath your ear. "Can you hear it?" you asked, placing your hand on his chest. "It's beating; you are alive. Isn't it wonderful to be alive?"

A deep sigh escaped Sihtric as he continued to hold you to his chest, his body quivering slightly. "Why are you so good to me?" he finally asked, cupping your face with his hands and lifting it to meet his questioning gaze.

"Because you are good, Sihtric," you whispered. "I have seen the goodness in you, I have felt it, and I want to be a part of it. I want to be yours."

"You want to be mine?" The surprise in Sihtric's voice was evident, his large, beautiful eyes reflecting the disbelief that his tone betrayed. He couldn't bring himself to believe it. After a lifetime of being resented and despised for who he was, he simply couldn't accept what you were saying.

"Yes, I do. Do you want to be mine?" you asked, taken aback by the quiver in your own voice. The silence lingered in the air as you awaited his response. You had finally found him, a man you were certain you wanted in your life not just for fleeting moments of pleasure but for a lifetime. Someone you had come to admire and wished to care for, someone from whom you wanted to receive care. His kindness and inner strength had captured your heart in an unexpected way. You felt certain that in Sihtric you had found a man who possessed the strength and warmth to fill that dark void in your chest.

"I'm already yours," Sihtric murmured, "I'm yours. I've always been yours," he repeated more resolutely, leaning in to capture your lips in the gentlest and most tender of kisses. Without breaking the kiss, Sihtric spun you around, pressing your body against the tree, and a soft gasp escaped your lips as you felt his already firm arousal pressing against your thigh.

"If you are mine, then I'm allowed to make you feel good too," he purred. "Will you be a good girl for me?" he asked, his bashful smile turning into a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he went down on his knees before you.

#sihtric #sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #tlk fic #the last kingdom

237 notes · View notes

bhxrdy · 4 months

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paper heart | sihtric

author's note: just a little something i had in my back pocket for a while - a kind of fluff(?) simple one-chaptered modern!sihtric fic. thank you to @itbmojojoejo for being my second pair of eyes 😘 Hope you will enjoy :) happy holidays! lots of love & stay safe 💕

The room was bland; the walls were painted white, a soft gloss apparent, and the fluorescent light shone with grip from the ceiling. The only window present was held with bars, offering a mundane view of the empty yard.

Where she sat, patiently waiting, she stared at the clock - round and intimidating, the numbers carved in rotation as the needles made passage with every dropped second.

She took in a deep breath, her presence at the back of the room forgotten while her eyes settled on the four bodies that sat on the other side, papers and pens resting on the table in front of them.

They were quiet, waiting.

Her gaze then shifted to the guard standing alert at the door, the entrance closed.

She had been waiting for this day for weeks, having first known about it when the letter came into the mail; the header had caught her off-guard, the content of the invitation surprising.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when the door opened where the guard held the knob, pulling it over towards him to let the newcomer in.

He walked in quietly, chained from his wrists to his waist down his ankles.

He looked around the room, no words yet escaping him; his gaze caught sight of the parole board sitting at the front of the room, the barred window, the ceiling light - the bulb almost blinding him - and then, his eyes settled on an unknown female figure.

She met his stare, her heart’s beat increasing bit by bit with every ticked second. She grew anxious, her fingers fidgeting on her lap against the fabric of scarf. She then ran them through her hair - freshly cut - as she fixed her new bangs and coiffed her locks to properly rest around her shoulders where the soft colored waves scratched against her blazer. Dearest Liliann wanted to look presentable for him, and so what better way than to pass by the hairdresser for a new do.

A silent ‘hello’ passed across her lips as they curved into a soft smile, all in the hopes he would recognize her despite never officially having encountered each other face-to-face.

He was gently pushed to take a seat in front of her, making him face the board as they prepared. She couldn’t help herself but place her sight on him still, her hues tracing the broad shoulders covered by his jumper, up to the braids that covered his sides and top of his head as they pulled his curls back, resting right at the nape of his neck.

“Sihtric Kjartansson. Please rise.” Within his silence, the man in question rose back up to his feet, calm and collected.

The man at the center of the table was going through Sihtric’s file, recounting the crime he had committed and the consequential sentence he had eventually met.

The convict remained still, while trying to listen as the board’s words floated at him.

Only when he was made to sit back down did he snap out of his thoughts, her name was spoken through their lips.

“We’re calling on a character witness, Liliann-”

The woman of the hour; she jumped up from her seat at her name, interrupting the introduction. “Yes, h-hi your honor-s.” Standing up, she was clutching at her scarf the way her nerves were grabbing her with might. The older man eyed her for the second, almost having been startled at her sudden appearance.

His gaze went back to the file that stood in front of him as he went on. “We see here you have been corresponding through letters with prisoner Sihtric Kjartansson over the last four years.”

“Yes, sir.”

Sihtric couldn’t help but smile, the right side of his lips curving softly at her nervous stature while holding himself to not chuckle so loudly. He couldn’t turn around fully and see her but hearing her speak brought him a sense of ease she had been carrying through her pen since they met. Only today did he find out what her voice sounded like, and he cherished it already, the tonality of her sound calming him.

“Then speak.” The man asked, inquisitive and skeptical as his gaze bore through her. “Do you believe he is ready to rejoin society?”

She worked on her posture, hoping that the tension she felt in her knees would stop her body shaking slightly from her nerves. She swallowed whatever saliva she had in her mouth and looked back at the man straight in his eyes.

“I am confident he is ready. Sir.” She glanced quickly at her friend before eyeing back at the board.

“Sihtric is not a bad person. He has just been dealt with bad cards…” She tried formulating her next words, careful to keep her calm. “H-he had an upbringing that no child should have to ever go through. I-I mean his father was a notorious criminal, a m-monster. He was in self-defense mode, protecting his loved one, a-and his mother-” She breathed in as she quieted down, her emotions slowly getting the better of her.

“He was put in a horrible position that gave him no way out.” Another exhale, her knuckles whitened against her scarf. “Sihtric deserves a second chance. He shouldn’t have to pay any longer for circumstances that were beyond his control. I fully believe that, if his circumstances were different, better even, he’d be living a regular life and not barred by this justice system.”

A woman at the table intervened, curious at the visitor’s words. “You sound distasteful.”

“I am.” She had jumped with her answer, not having realized her response until a second later. Her eyes wide, she recuperated herself just as quickly. “I don’t mean to be rude, but-”

She sighed once again, her eyes averting to Sihtric before looking back to the board.

“You left a criminal on the streets for years as he terrorized everyone who crossed his path. He murdered countless people - his own wife included - and yet was never arrested for his crimes? And then, Sihtric, who did us a bloody hell of a favor, by the way, gets taken away for acting in self-defense. I’m sorry, but this was beyond unfair what he went through. And I believe this man right here didn’t deserve such treatment.”

She dropped her head, gathering the last of her thoughts on the manner, her pulse racing against the clock. She lifted her eyes back up, watching them. “I haven’t known him for long, but I know him well enough that he’s not dangerous nor does he pose a threat to society. H-he is deserving of a second chance…”

Sihtric’s heart pounded between his ears, her words having carved themselves into his bones as shivers ran down his spine. He took a quiet breath, his head down and eyes closed, as he turned away to face the board again. He took them to heart, yet a twinge of uncertainty nestled itself comfortably in the darkest corner.

The board eyed her, slightly taken aback by her words. “Thank you for this…” The man in the middle cleared his throat, his eyes averted back to the file. “Insightful speech. You may sit down.”

She slightly stumbled as she took back her seat, her palms sweating from her sudden lack of control.

An eerie silence hung in the air; tension crawled up the walls to hover over the people in the room.

Liliann tried to slow down her breathing, her pulse increasing by the second. Though it felt like time standing still, the hands of the clock were moving at an unbearably slow pace.

But they turned and turned, Father Time forcing patience onto them.

‘Dearest Liliann, you deserve to know the truth of what I have done. But first, I need you to know – in the event you decided to cut ties with me – that it has been a pleasure knowing you and writing to you. I have been here for two years now and ever since we ‘met’, you have made my stay more bearable; your letters brighten the grim time I have here. Yet, how can I complain when I am the cause of my own undoing?’

She lost track of time as she waited outside, leaning against her car. The cold breeze added colors to her cheeks as she melted under her scarf, her arms crossed over her chest with her coat protecting her from the lightly grim weather.

The thoughts swirling inside her mind had left her to fall away from the moment; she was racing on a stand-alone track, directionless.

For the last four years, she had only ever written to Sihtric, had only encountered him through pictures. And now, just a few minutes away, she would finally be physically standing close to him.

She would be lying to herself saying that she wasn’t nervous. She had thought about that moment for so long, the multiple scenarios she had built in her head could fill a library.

Palpitations ran their course, a gentle smile coating her lips when her sight was finally granted with his presence.

He was making his way out as the gates opened and paved the way to his tethered freedom; the man was free, the board having passed their judgement, though he remained on parole.

The chilled air had hit him with a whirlwind, the clothes he wore not enough to protect him. He added a spring in his steps as he approached Liliann, growing anxious the closer he got. He had his right hand holding his thin layered jacket as closed as possible, while his left had been holding onto a couple of bags the prison had given him for his possessions; clear plastic to display his belongings.

He grew nervous, not truly knowing what to expect for their first physical encounter. It hugged him, the estrange feeling resting across his chest.

Reaching her at last, she stood up with her arms dropping as her hands found shelter in her coat pockets. “H-hi.” She stuttered her greeting, gently growing timid at the sight of him.

“Hi.” The small grin graced him, his voice reaching the air around her for the first time; her heart quickened its pace within that second, having stumbled on its walk when the tone of his words came to her.

A gentle awkwardness crept its way in between them; it was not unpleasant but had still brought them uncertainty.

She couldn’t look away from him, the gears in her mind churning loudly as she tried to find something to say. He stood still, the weather suddenly becoming a second thought as his gaze settled on her, taking in her appearance – from the way her dimple carved the right side of her cheek, the soft bangs tickling her eyelids where the rest of her hair covered her ears and were mounted on her scarfs and highlighting her hues, to the cupid bow atop her lips inviting him for a taste. He was holding his breath, staring at her as if to take her in, afraid that all this was unreal, a simple ruse.

Lost for words, they could only exchange a nervous chuckle until she pushed herself to finally speak up, trying to push passed the blush heating her cheeks.

She went with the only route she knew by heart. “This would’ve been much easier if I had written something down.” Her sense of humor was something he had only been able to read; hearing it for the first time, he laughed at her remark and the sound warmed her, enjoying the way it tickled her senses. “It’s finally nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

The exchange remained clumsy, their bodies shifting to either a handshake or a friendly embrace; Sihtric decided then to take the first step and leaned towards Liliann as he wrapped his arms around her.

She followed him, her hands resting on his back and had hoped he didn’t hear the pounding in her chest. “How are you feeling?” She spoke into the wind, hiding her nervousness.

He pulled away just enough not to be completely out of reach with his head tilting downwards to look at her. “Good- It’s strange, but a good kind of strange, I guess.”

She tried not to pay close attention to their proximity, shying away from the softness of his eyes until she noticed a faded scar on his right cheek. Her hues stuck to the mark, she had reached out for it, lightly tracing it with her fingertips. In return, he remained quiet, watching her as the gentleness of her caress left him shivering.

It was when she met his stare again that she realized what she was doing. She quickly pulled away, flustered. “S-sorry.”

He smiled, a small tug on the corner of his lips. “It’s okay.”

“It’s the medic in me.” She quickly wanted to give him an excuse, not wanting him to believe she was an intrusive person. “I have to have insight on all the cuts and bruises I come across.” She shared a nervous laugh, a small chuckle - a gesture he reciprocated. He touched his own cheek, nonchalantly. “It’s just something I got from one of the inmates. Nothing to worry about.” She frowned at his words, worried, but had decided to let it go, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

She took a step back, ready to offer him a ride when she noticed the contents in one of the bags he had been holding; she recognized the pastel-colored envelopes and her heart soared. “You kept them…” She was in awe, touched that he held onto the letters she had been sending him over the years.

He scratched the back of his head, budding timidity hovering around him. “Of course, I did.” He gave her a smile as she took the bag in question. Examining what was inside, she then noticed a polaroid stuck between two envelopes; she recognized it as the one she had sent him - a simple one she had taken with her cat. Her brows creased at the sight, in slight shock.

“Wait, you kept this as well?” She lifted her head up to him as she spoke.

“I did. It was my proof you were real...” The softening smile graced his lips as he took a glance at the photograph, his eyes lingering as a subtle sharp twinge nudged him in the corner of his chest. “It’s a pretty good picture.” He softly mentioned under his breath; she blushed, trying to hide her embarrassment as she rubbed her nose from the cold. “Really? I was horrified after I sent that- It's like, the second I sent out the letter, I got my senses knocked back into me!” She caught a chortle in her throat, her hands to her cheeks in a mortified look. “I mean look at it! I made my cat wear a knitted suit! That I made! It’s horrifying!” He shared a chuckle with her at her response, amused at the exaggeration she was committing. She then caught her breath, the curves of her lips falling, her teeth biting the bottom instead. “To be honest, I thought I would’ve scared you off or something.”

“You didn’t... You can say, these kept me sane...” The smile he wore was heartwarming, entrancing. He meant his words, his declaration of their friendship wearing him like silk.

She was touched, not expecting such sincerity though kindness was something she knew him for.

She sucked in a breath, wanting to change the subject.

Her hands back in her pocket, she twirled quickly to look at her car before turning back to Sihtric. “Want to get out of here? If you’re a bit peckish, we can go somewhere to eat.”

He nodded at her suggestion, not denying the need to taste civilian food again. “I can have a bite to eat.”

She invited him to her car as he made his way towards the passenger side. He was about to reach the door when she spoke up again. “Oh! And don’t mind the noise the car makes. It goes away once it’s starts moving.”

He stopped in his tracks, looking perplexed.

She went on, having seen the expression covering his face. “It’s completely safe, I promise!”

He let out a snicker and shook his head as he went to open the door. He struggled, not being able to complete the task even by force. Liliann was about to get inside when she saw him. She ran to him, her nervous laughter singing in the back of her throat again.

At his side, she guided him. “You just have to give it a little push, a kick, and voila!” She succeeded, happy her trick still worked while also relieved the winter hadn’t done any more damage.

Sihtric stood bewildered, taken aback by the complex steps that were needed to simply enter the hatchback. “Have you thought about bringing it in to get it fixed?”

She smiled back at him, the grin wide across her lips. “But then my sweetest Volks will lose all its charm!”

He laughed at her words – her perky personality was a natural boost, a shot given to him straight for the serotonin. It had been just a few minutes, and he already did not want it to stop.

Once they settled inside and buckled their seats, Liliann plopped in her keys into the ignition, ready to go as she attempted to turn on her engine. It took her a few tries, leaving Sihtric to be worried about the state of her car.

She turned her head to him, reassuring him with all the conviction she could muster. “It would be weird if it didn’t do that at all.”

When finally lighting up, she let a sigh of relief slipping through her lips as she mumbled under her breath a quiet ‘thank god’.

He silently chuckled to himself, having heard her words, the smirk painted across his lips not able to be erased.

‘Dear Sihtric, I am glad to see you have not abandoned me after my last letter. I may sound dramatic writing this – sorry. It’s been an awful week at work. I lost two patients in the span of a few days. It’s been grim to say the least. I love my job. It has its moment, notably, witnessing such loss, but I also get to meet all kinds of people with such extraordinary stories – it's a blessing. I hope you are doing well and that you are reaching the end of your dreary cold. Be safe, Sihtric. I hope we’ll get to meet soon.’

They found their seats, secluding themselves from the early afternoon crowd; back in her neighborhood, she was treating Sihtric to lunch.

They sat in front of each other, her back leaning against the booth with only the table and menus separating them. As for the newly freed ex-convict, he was leaning forward where his arms rested on the surface with his head laid low.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She softly spoke, her sleeves pulled towards her fingers as they toyed with the menu.

He lifted his head to her words, a gentle smile covering his lips. “I’m just… overwhelmed a bit, I guess.”

She worried, her brows narrowing at his sentiment. “Are you happy at least? You’re a free man.” She said with a little tint of joy coming from the back of her throat.

A soft chuckle escaped him, naturally rolling off his tongue. “Yea, you could say that.” He then pushed himself against the backrest of his seat, arms dropping on his lap. “Thank you.” Relief had washed over him like a gentle breeze as his back leaned towards his seat, relaxed as his eyes settled on Liliann.

“For?” Her head slightly tilted, curious.

“For everything.” The laidback stature he grew into was now dissipating, the tension in his shoulders slowly gripping him once again. “You had no obligation with anything-” He was interrupted when a waiter came to their table to take their order.

Liliann jumped in, her eyes lingering on her friend for just one moment before she was giving her attention to the menu as she spoke up, taking the lead. She had crossed over the pages going from appetizers, plates and drinks to share between them.

Once the worker had took his notes and was out of ear shot, leaving them with only their glasses of water for the time being, Sihtric spoke up again; he was taken aback by her gesture and approached her again, pressing himself against the edge of the table. “It’s too much, you didn’t have to order all that.”

With a softening gaze, she leaned forward as well, matching his stance with a light tone of voice that dipped into care. “Don’t worry about it. Lunch is on me.”

“You don’t have too-” He gestured to her his refusal, his hand stretching across the surface of the table.

She mimicked him, having reached out where her hand rested atop his – a gesture done on instinct, her mind having no thought of the movement. “I want to.”

The sudden touch halted the twist of the tongue, the need for speech suspended. Sensing warmth budding in the palm of her right hand, she just as quickly pulled away, breaking the tension that seemed to have tied them together. Sihtric felt a soft wasp of cold air before he pulled away as well, trying to ignore the tingling sensation; it lingered, and he used his other hand, his thumb rubbing across his left. He swallowed the lump in his throat, the chaotic swarm of emotions leaving him conflicted. He felt weighed down by such heaviness, part of him thankful for her while the supposed rational part of him felt guilt nibbling at the edge. It left him perplexed, not knowing if his appreciation and affection stemmed from his circumstances – as she had become a beacon of hope – or if the feelings he held, wrapped like a vine across his ribcage, were genuine because of her.

Sitting face to face, finally being able to physically look at her and take her in, he couldn’t stop but wonder if what he felt was real, or if his emotions were attached to her as his white knight savior.

Either way, he wanted her in his life.

She was easy to talk to, and he found her sense of humor and her sarcasm endearing. Her comedic stance had given him a breath of fresh air into his lungs, as if his need for oxygen was now revolved around her, around every hint of a giggle in her throat, the caring smile across her lips, or the spark in her eyes that would shine whenever something light came to be.

He was smitten, and though he had known her for years – today was the day he felt his heart soar against his broken chest.

“Plus, I’m starving! I’d probably be leaving you with crumbs to eat anyways.” Her words, ringing into his ears so sweetly, made him titter.

She blushed at the sound.

“Alright, then.” He nodded, accepting her generosity with a small exhale. He then reached for his drink, his fingers twisting the glass on the table. From her hues, he looked down to the rim. “Thank you.” He lifted his head to her again, his shoulders letting go of the strain. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

She shared a giggle, a subtle sound that etched across her lips. “I look forward to it.”

And just in time, the waiter came back with their pints while the food was still yet to come.

Liliann took her glass, raising it to him. “To your freedom.” Sihtric mimicked her, taking his own drink and lifting it mid-air. “Partial freedom. I’m on parole, remember?”

She shrugged, a laidback motion of her shoulders. “It’s still a win.” They clinked their glasses, sharing their first sip as silence comfortably settled itself between them, a ball rolling up and down the table.

While he took his second sip, she worked on her next words – something he had noticed as her mouth twitched carefully. He waited, patient. She took a small gulp from her own glass, the bitter liquid trenching down her throat as she tilted her head to him again. “Have you thought about what you will do, now that you’re out?”

He sighed, thinking about his future. “Not really... To be honest, I didn’t think this day would ever come.”

Her heart squeezed at his answer, hurt he felt such way, that he had lost hope.

She did what she did best, petting such worries into a deep sleep. “You could take up knitting.” She gave him a light shrug again, a gesture that was meant to amuse him. “You can join my one-woman knitting club.”

He chuckled – he would never get tired for her knack for humor, he thought.

“I’ll think on it.” He offered a soft lopsided smile as he took another sip of his drink. She smiled in return, diverting her gaze quickly to the window on her right before turning her head back to him.

Once more, silence had spoken, letting Liliann thinking over her next words cautiously while her teeth nibbled at the skin inside her lips. She let out a breath, quietly as it slowly escaped her mouth, interrupting their moment with her low voice. “You’re welcome to stay with me, by the way.” As soon as they had come out, had she realized the meaning of her sentence and just as quickly jumped back in to clarify. “U-until you find something else, I-I mean.” She became nervous again, unable to read him. “Y-you can stay as long as you need.”

He looked at her, her kindness becoming like budding waves of the sea; he wasn’t drowning, he just remained still as the water caressed him, leaving droplets and raising his skin. He grew heavy again, guilt scratching at his inside. “You’ve done enough, already- Lili-”

She swallowed the dryness in her throat, pressing herself further against the backrest of her seat. She was close to pleading, her words breathed out with weight attached to them. “Sihtric, please.” He saw her shift, and had seemed to have closed herself a bit, her arms on her lap while her fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt. “I want to do this. I want to help.”

He sighed softly and gave her a subtle nod as he accepted her invitation – he saw she had slowly straightened her back with a slither of hope, he thought, had added some colors to her irises. “It’s temporary.” He couldn’t bring himself to say he had friends we could stay with, that he at least had people who would look out for him.

She shook her head, feeling more at ease. “Exactly.” A small smile made its way to the corner of her lips, unable to hide its content – it seemed it was contagious as Sihtric found himself doing the same, sharing a grin of his own.

Their food had arrived and had rolled their conversation onto smoother tracks. The atmosphere had settled around them, igniting banters and laughter that eased the residing tension on his shoulders, dissipating the heaviness into the void.

The afternoon swayed through as they caught up like old friends who hadn’t seen each other in quite some time. They rekindled past conversations and introduced new topics as the hours of the day danced around them, like a soundtrack rolling backstage.

The sound of her laughter was becoming a necessity, leaving him with a smile that hadn’t made its appearance in years; her written words had always been held close to his heart. Now that he knew what she sounded like, the way she held her humor, the way she spoke – the lines he had memorized in his head, he could finally hear her say them. His heart soared as her voice floated between his ears, soothing him.

They were on their third drink, gently rummaging through their plates, when the air had cooled down. Sihtric’s eyes had caught sight of a woman from across the pub, his heart suddenly coming to a halt.

Liliann noticed the change in demeanor and called for him. “Sihtric?” With no response, she followed his gaze and turned her head to see where he was looking. Her face dropped, understanding the violent fright in his eyes. She then turned back to him, finding him gulping his beer.

She let him swallow, leaning towards the table’s edge with concern. “You alright?”

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “Y-yea. For a second, I thought it was-” He was looking pale, the color draining from his face in utter shock. An ache settled in the pit of her stomach as she watched him. “I know. I thought the same…”

He ran his fingers through his hair, his hands remaining at the nape of his neck before they fell to his lap. “I’m sorry for how she behaved towards you.”

“It’s okay. There is nothing to feel sorry about. It wasn’t your fault.”

It was believing that Sihtric’s ex was just a few feet away, that left them feeling dread looming over them.

It was remembering the last time she had seen the other woman that Liliann felt a rush of goosebumps across her skin, making her slightly shudder; the ex had initiated an argument when she found out Liliann and Sihtric were keeping in touch. Annoyed, enraged, she had taken his stuff and dropped them at Liliann’s door with a simple “if you want him, you can have him” remark spat at the young woman.

“Still… She was my wife.”

Liliann huffed, the tone done in a tongue in cheek way. “Yea… Weird taste, dude.” She used her sarcasm to push away the grey cloud that encased them in their booth. It made him chuckle, making it another successful attempt at lightening the mood.

Wanting then to continue and desperately change the subject, he dived into something else, bringing her along. “How is Aramis?”

She had taken a bite, a small piece of fried pickle, when he inquired about her pet. The suddenness of his question made her choke on her food. Trying to catch a breath, she coughed as she went for her glass, the straw settling between her lips as she downed her beverage to cool herself. All the while, though he was taken by surprise at her reaction, Sihtric couldn’t help but smile as she grinned nervously.

“I thought I would’ve annoyed you with how much I wrote about him.” She kept her fingers on her glass, the straw dancing around the pieces of ice cubes that resided at the bottom.

He frowned, curious. “Why would you think that?”

A slight scoff slipped from her, her eyes remaining glued to her plate. “People - that I have encountered at least - tend to be irritated by those who talk too much about their pet. Especially against cat ladies.”

Aramis was her everything; a simple British short hair she had adopted from an elderly couple who couldn’t take care of him anymore.

He held a soft beam, his sentiment genuine towards the little one. “I love the little guy! And I love that you took him in. Not a lot of people would do it, let alone mean it when they say they would do it.”

She blushed, flustered at receiving such a compliment, and hid behind her drink. “Y-yea… He’s a pretty good roommate to have around.”

“I have some competition it seems.”

She chuckled at his remark, meeting his eyes as she shook her head, amused. “I guess so.”

They carried on, traipsing seamlessly from topic to the next, a comfort settling between them.

Drawn to one another, unable to notice time pass, the pen’s ink slowly tightened them within its cursive script and pushed them closer as they discovered more about one another.

The letters they wrote had brought ease and hope, and he appreciated every single one of them. “They have definitely made my life bit fuller, if that makes sense…”

“It does.” She softly smiled at him, understanding as the sentiment was reciprocated.

Sihtric had then gotten up from his seat without a word, suddenly leaning towards Liliann from across the table. He reached for her, his hand resting on the left side of her face, hand to her jaw with his thumb caressing her cheek. He then approached her further until she felt his lips pressed onto hers, sharing a sweet kiss – the gesture taking her by surprise. He pulled away, though he remained close enough to her, calling for her.

The glass shattered, the daydreaming breaking into thousands of pieces as she was snapped back into reality.

He had noticed she had fallen into a slight daze, unresponsive until he spoke her name. Startled, blinking, she cleared her throat as she quickly slid out of her seat. “E-excuse me-”

She dashed for the bathroom, going straight for the sink. She turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on her face. She grabbed the counter, lifting her head to the mirror in front of her. “Get your shit together, Liliann!” Pointing at herself through the glass, arguing with herself, she took a moment while catching a breath. Once she felt normal again, she fixed herself up and walked back to her seat.

Sitting back down, Sihtric looked at her with a curious gaze. “Are you okay? You look… flushed.”

She still felt heat gripping her cheeks. She cleared her throat, pretending nothing had disturbed her. “I’m fine. I just ran a bit hot. T-the food was quite h-ot.”

He chuckled, not fully convinced. “Alright, if you say so…”

She chugged down half her water – the sight leaving a tickled smirk across Sihtric’s features. Placing her drink on the table with a sigh, she leaned back in her seat, pulling her sleeves to her palms as she picked – once again – at the hem of her shirt.

He saw the gears in her head turning, igniting curiosity on his end. She was so pensive, clearly thinking of what she wanted to ask him – the way it marked her features, a glint stretched across his lips, enjoying the way she was nibbling at her bottom lip in thought.

She let out a small breath – the one thing had been haunting her for a while. She had been too afraid to ask but the dire need to know, to understand, had been gnawing at her like an aftertaste. She gathered her courage and pushed through. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

She ripped it away like a band aid.

“Why didn’t you want me visiting you?”

He took a moment to answer, pondering as he fell backwards, resting in his seat. Meeting her stare, he melted under her gaze, his answer floating smoothly. “I didn’t want to shatter the illusion the letters created for you.” His words rang her ears. She waited for more – it took him a second to continue. “I didn’t want you to be disappointed of who you would be meeting, face to face.”

Her heart broke at his confession. It hurt to see him retrieve himself like this. “Sihtric, the letters never created any sort of illusions for me. They were the most honest I’ve ever been with anyone, and I felt that from you too. U-unless I’m wrong-”

“No, you’re not. I've been more honest and vulnerable with you than with anyone else. Even from my ex...” The pressure on his chest was chipping away ever so slowly. “I wanted to see you, to sit down and talk and finally meet the mystery woman who I've been writing too. Up until you sent me your picture, I thought I was being cat-fished.”

She laughed at his comment, inciting his own chuckle. “I am an improvement, I hope.”

“You have no idea.” He lingered – just for a moment, and then spoke to her. “And sorry, again. I thought it would be easier if we just kept to the letters… I didn’t want to be a disappointment.”

She offered him a smile, a grin that reached him. “It’s okay, I understand. I’m just glad we are here now… finally.” He reached for his plate, picking out a single frie. She quietly watched him, the curves of her lips remaining timidly upwards. “And Sihtric?” He met her gaze. “You’re not a disappointment.”

Her words struck him and for the first time in so damn long, he believed it.

He believed her; the way she was looking at him, the way her eyes held him with such high regard as if he was anything but a criminal, a murderer. Not even the woman he had spent most of his adult life with, not even she who he was engaged to, looked at him that way. It left him with a warmth that crept under the covers, right into his chest like a cat seeking comfort.

He tried to ignore the thoughts that hid in the shadows, in the back of his mind.

There was a lingering gaze; they held their eyes to each other without a word, without even realizing what they were doing. It had lasted for a few seconds – short enough for the waiter to come back, interrupting them. “Do you want anything else?”

Liliann turned to Sihtric. “Dessert?”

Sihtric nodded. “Sure, why not.”

She turned back to the worker while Sihtric’s sight remained on her, enamored.

The entire situation still felt surreal for him.

He took his last sip, eyes on her, until he eventually turned to the window, the glass back on the table.

“You alright?” He nodded at her inquiry, looking back at her. “I didn’t realize the holidays were approaching so quickly.”

“Tell me about it.” She joined in, looking to the streets with her arms resting by the sides of her body.

The afternoon had stretched into late evening, the dessert extending their stay even further.

Time passing was not an issue for either of them – they had nowhere else pressing to be.

For now, he was content, enjoying her presence at his side.

‘Dear Liliann, I’m sorry to hear about the troubles my ex is giving you. I’ve tried reaching out, but she has completely cut ties with me. Please do not mind her, I’ve angered her, though I guess being out of the picture, it’s easier for her to use this excuse to cheat on me. I know I’ve written this before but thank you for letting me know. I cannot blame her, to be honest. It hasn’t been easy – our last years together were a tumble down the stairs. Yet, I cannot help but still feel for her since she had been by my side as far as I can remember. But I guess everything must come to an end eventually...’

They stood quietly in the hallway while Liliann searched for her keys.

She was rummaging through her purse, the item lost within the void. All the while, Sihtric remained patient, his eyes watching her with amusement until he turned his head where his gaze settled on the closed door that stood across from them.

“Got it!” The jingle of the keys echoed around them as she lifted her head up, smiling at her retrieval.

She then caught him looking behind her; she turned around before looking back at him again. She softly spoke up, careful with her tone. “A new couple moved in a few days ago…” A part of her was glad his ex had moved out, having grown afraid of the woman.

Her words caught his attention as he reverted to her. She spoke again, happy to see the slight tremor in her voice went unnoticed. “H-have you spoken to her recently?”

“No.” She was unlocking her door when he continued, stuttering her steps in the process. “But I need to reach out to her. We need to talk.”

“O-oh. Yea, I guess…” A shaken sigh under her breath, Sihtric hadn’t seen the dread draping her shoulders, which she - once again - quietly thanked.

Opening her front door, she turned on her lights as she walked in and was welcomed by the loud cries of her cat.

Liliann bent down, picking up her furry friend in her arms while gently scratching at his fur.

She then turned around as Sihtric walked in and closed the door behind him. He remained speechless, taking in the sight as she moved away.

“Welcome to my humble abode.”

He chuckled as he removed his jacket, his eyes wandering around the small apartment until he saw a few boxes lying by a wall.

“It’s not much, but it does the trick. It’s, hmm, it’s home…” He noted the slight saddening undertone that slipped through. He said nothing, not wanting to make it palpable and bring her down.

“It’s perfect.”

She met his hues and blushed, a shy smile gracing her lips.

He then approached her, worry coming back to him. “Are you sure you’re okay with me staying here?”

“Sihtric.” She placed a hand on his arm, the gesture meant to reassure him. “I promise, it’s alright.”

“I really owe you.”

She gave him a gentle squeeze before letting him go. “Come on, let me give you the grand tour.” With her pet now out of her arms, strutting around without a care in the world, Liliann guided Sihtric around from the living room to her kitchen, bathroom and lastly her bedroom.

“I figured you might want a proper bed after so long. I’ll just plop on the couch.”

Sihtric stood still, refusing to become the reason she would also be losing her bed – on top of gaining an unwanted roommate.

“You’re not kicking me out. I pass out in the living room all the time anyway. The bed is just for decoration at this point. Might as well be used.” She shrugged, nonchalantly, wanting to convince him all was well. “You need to a comfortable place to sleep, Sihtric. Take the bed, it’s fine. I promise.”

He stared at it, the covers and pillows neatly propped – the room was simple and held all the necessities. It wasn’t too extravagant, and yet still held some kind of comfort to its atmosphere.

She watched him, trying to understand the emotions that were written across his face.

The scene broke down when Aramis cried from the kitchen – he was getting hungry.

Liliann cleared her throat, scratching at the back of her head, catching the man’s attention. “Hmm, why don’t you take a shower- or a bath, whichever you prefer. I have towels ready for you on the counter already and your clothes are in this box over by the dresser. H-hopefully they still fit.” She started taking steps backwards, leaning against the door frame. “I’ll go see what’s up with the little fur ball in the meantime.”

She was walking away when Sihtric grabbed her wrist, forcing her to a halt.

He didn’t have to say anything – for once, she was able to see what he was going to say and stopped him. “You don’t have to thank me Sihtric. I’m glad you’re here. Truly. Enjoy your freedom, will ya?”

He nodded, squeezing her hand gently. “I will.”

She gave him a soft smile, placing her free hand on the one he held her with before walking away, her heart in her throat.

He watched her, his shoulders dropping, his heart pounding in his ears – conflicted.

The steam of the bathroom had escaped once the door opened. Sihtric quietly made his way back to the bedroom while Liliann was preparing the couch with sheets and pillows.

She had taken the time to change into her pj’s - a worn out t-shirt with man’s sweats - and had gotten some extra blankets for him.

She held a couple and walked into the slim hall to her bedroom when she found him looking through some of his boxes.

“You look refreshed.” She watched him as he got up to his feet to face her; he looked relaxed, all the heaviness of today washed away.

He ruffled his hair, his fingers passing smoothly through the strands, still damp from the water. “It was the best shower I’ve had in a very long time.”

She chuckled, happy to see him this way. “Glad to hear considering the water pressure isn’t all that great.”

“It was better than what I had, believe me.”

She walked to the bed, her arms busy with additional covers. “I brought you some extra blankets. Wasn’t sure if you ran hot or cold...”

Her voice trailed off into silence, only now having noticed their proximity. Her mouth hung slightly open, her fingers digging into the fabric of the sheets as it stood between them. She was struck with the way his bi-colored gaze bore into her, her breath held by the depth of his hues.

They were pulled back when noise came from the living room – Aramis was keeping himself busy.

Liliann cleared her throat and turned around, placing the blankets on the bed. Sihtric remained still, watching her move without saying anything. He was unable to break away, taken in by the leisurely demeanor she wore; he couldn’t help himself but study how the cotton hung across her figure – if he held her, if he tightened his hold onto the fabric of her clothes, they could hug her, and he would be able to trace every spec, every curve, that stood beneath him. Her hair had fallen over her shoulders, her bangs brought up with a clip to her scalp – he felt the need to run his fingers through them, to feel their softness against his skin. And then to feel her skin warm under his touch as he hugged her close.

Liliann turned around to find him staring at her.

He looked taller, she thought.

All within their silence, he approached her prudently until his left hand rested on her cheek, the other placed on her waist. Her lungs were numb, unable to breathe, from the physical contact – she couldn’t remember the last time she had been touched like this.

Emotions were now in overdrive, having subdued all rationale into complete oblivion.

They locked eyes, incapable of breaking away as if she was paralyzed by the colors of his irises; she fell into their shades, letting them embrace her with undescribed sentiments carved into the thin lines as they ghosted over her.

Breathing in the tension, he leaned down, drawn by the desperate need to kiss her. The feeling almost palpable, his lips already tingled.

From her waist, his left hand traveled down to her hip, gently grasping her shirt as he pressed his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes, his breath tickling her lips while her heart pounded with such strength, she could feel her ribcage crack, in dire need to be free from its confine.

A slight movement from her, her nose brushed against his – a feather touch. He tilted his head down to see her fingers hovering over his chest, as if to hold herself up. The cupid bow of her upper lip, the hint of her dimple on her right cheek – he wanted to feel it, to kiss it, to see it sculpting her skin when smiling.

The control was held with such great strength, he hated himself for it.

Yet, he couldn’t let go.

He couldn’t abandon his resolve to kiss her – he didn’t want to.

But he wasn’t capable either of pursuing his desire, as if he was held up by strings, as if a wall was separating them.

He held her firmly, his thumb tracing over the hidden dimple as he held her jaw. The warmth of his touch made her quiver, her knees almost giving out. He lifted her head up to him again, making her open her eyes which silently begged him for more.

The unspoken emotions that hovered across the dried ink of their letters, the ones that were captured and incased within the sealed envelopes, seeped through with every breath, the air growing thicker.

Her hands carefully climbed to reach him – her fingertips peeked at the hem of his shirt against his neck, making him shiver from her touch.

Just one more nudge and he could succumb to his want, to feel her lips pressed against his. They were so close yet felt so far away.

She caught the pendant he wore, her gaze averting to it as Sihtric watched her play with it. She captured the cord and gently tugged, pulling him down to her – she could feel his lips finally hover over hers, like a shadow, ready for a firmer touch.

She was lacking his sense of control while she gathered her courage, moving her lips softly over his.

His grip on her hip tightened, his hand digging into the fabric of her shirt as it rested against her skin. His left remained on her cheek, his thumb tracing over her jawline as they hid within the locks of her hair.

And when he finally met her, when she could finally fully feel his lips pressed against hers, ready to dive into this state of yearning – they were suddenly interrupted by a loud knock on the door, forcing them to pull away.

The heat exuded from their closeness vanished from the simple percussion of the door.

They stood still for a moment, simply staring at each other while their chests heaved; reality fell on them, like a glass ceiling falling from its root and straight onto them, shattering on impact.

He was knocked out.

He noticed the pink tint of her cheeks, the slightly parted lips, and the look in her eyes was yet to be understood though, he swore he saw an outline of disappointment painted within them.

The door knocked again, the noise resonating with them once more.

The moment gone, she walked away, leaving him to pull himself together. He took a seat on the bed, elbows to his knees as he held himself in thought, yelling at himself for what transpired.

He heard her footsteps get closer to him and finally looked up to see her standing at the bedroom’s entrance.

“Who was at the door?” He was a little bit agitated – the knocks reminding him of his childhood, of the roughness of his past.

“Just a delivery... I ordered some knitting stuff. I-I ran out.” She leaned against the threshold while he remained sitting at the edge of her bed.

An awkward silence settled in the room.

She still felt the ghost of his lips pressed on hers – she pinched her bottom lip while they remained quiet and looked at him as he stared down his lap onto the floor.

Her mouth moved, trying to break the stillness that infiltrated their bubble.

“Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat.”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’ll let you be then...”

She was about to turn away when he called for her. She just as swiftly pivoted back, hopeful.

He stumbled on his words, trying to find a way to speak without causing any strain. “About earlier- I didn’t mean to overstep-”

She interrupted him, knowing where he was going.

Her heart broke.

“You didn’t. O-overstep, I mean...”

She gave him half a smile, hoping to mask the ache in the pit of her stomach, wishing he would simply get the message and run to her.

He did.

And he was dying to jump on his feet and grab her, but he couldn’t push himself to do it.

He felt undeserving.

The guilt crippled him, thinking he had taken advantage of her even though he knew she wanted this as well.

He couldn’t risk losing her, of making things more complicated – even though they weren’t.

She gulped down, her head down as she pushed hair strands behind her ear before going for the hem of her shirt, her nervous habit apparent.

She then looked up to meet his eyes, solemn. “Goodnight, Sihtric.”

“Goodnight, Liliann.” She left him be as she made her way back to the living room, a bee line straight for the couch, while holding back her tears and wrapping her arms around herself.

She told herself she was being ridiculous for feeling this heartbroken over a kiss that never was.

She took her seat and laid down facing the backrest, covering herself tightly with her eyes shut close.

He sighed, falling against the mattress and stared up at the ceiling, cursing under his breath for wanting to let his emotions take over.

He could still feel the tingle of her lips on his, his fingertips missing the warmth of her skin.

‘Dearest Sihtric, it’s that time of the year again. Christmas is right around the corner and I’m scrambling to figure things out. I might have to work over the holidays – I'm waiting to receive my schedule – and to be honest, I think it’s better than to be alone. Aramis will be without me, but he is used to it, and I don’t think he notices it anyways. I wonder what Christmas would be like if we ever get to celebrate it together – any traditions you want to share? There are a few I remember growing up... It’s been harder every year, but now that we’ve met, that I have you in my life, the holidays don’t feel so alone. I hope it’s the same for you. Maybe one day, if we ever meet – when you get out of there, we could celebrate together. Nothing lavish – I'm sure Aramis would love to meet you. What do you think?’

He had walked through the front door when he found Liliann in the middle of decorating for the holidays.

While Sihtric had been out all day, she took the opportunity to fetch - within her parents’ storage unit - the family Christmas tree alongside some of the decorations they had left behind. It was a challenge to climb the stairs of her building with the heavy items back and forth, let alone having made it fit within her hatchback.

Unintentionally hiding away, she had heard him and stopped what she was doing, popping her head from behind the tree. “You’re back!”

He jumped, startled at the suddenness of her voice echoing within her living room; she widened her eyes, apologetic of her outburst. “S-sorry. Did not mean to scare you.”

His hand pressed to his chest; he breathed out a smile to her. “That’s alright.” He started removing his jacket, his gaze finally taking note of the clutter surrounding his friend. “What’s all this?”

“I thought since the holidays were approaching, I might as well get a head start on the decorations, and stuff.” A practiced answer; she had hoped he wouldn’t notice. She moved from where she stood, her hands busy with a set of small colorful light strings, as she continued. “You know how Aramis likes toying with the ornaments.” She gave him a nervous chuckle, trying to mask the anxiety hammering inside her chest.

Sihtric had quickly taken notice of her pet at the mention of his name, the creature stretched out on his back and asleep on the couch. And instead of saying anything to discourage the apparent effort Liliann was putting for him, he smiled, even though he knew the truth; he was aware she hadn’t gotten into the holiday spirit as of late, with her family spread apart. He remembered the letter that told him of such predicament, the words spilling out her lonesome secret – her lack of need to decorate.

And so, he knew she was doing this for him – for Liliann, it was all in the hopes it would ease his transition, bring some cheer back into his life.

She went on, desperate to break the tension. “To be honest… I-I don’t even know why I bother.” Another anxious huff escaped her, her rambling habit taking over. “My parents are doing their own thing again this year and my sister will be with her in-laws now, a-and I’ll probably be given a shift or something at the hospital, so I won’t be here anyways…” Having brought herself down, she dropped the garland from her hands and wiped her palms on her sides. She looked away from him, ashamed.

She ran her fingers through her hair, dropping her arms as she faced the kitchen. “I’m gonna go make some tea.” She rushed away from him, leaving him to look around at the mess in the room. He appreciated the effort she was putting in for him, yet he felt heavy.

Last night’s moment, in the shadows of today’s events, he felt weight on his shoulders.

He eventually joined her at her table where he found her sitting with her mug on the table alongside her delivery box from yesterday opened in front of her.

He sighed, taking a seat.

They welcomed the silence like a third friend. Her gaze was glued to the steam floating from her cup, her teeth nibbling the skin inside her mouth – she had a question burning her tongue.

“Did you go see her?”

She had spoken so softly, it took him a moment to register her words; he nodded. “It’s official. The papers have been signed.”

She frowned as she met him. “The divorce papers?”

He nodded once again. “I thought she had sent them to you months ago.”

“She never did.”

“Oh god. I’m so sorry.” Remorse settled in the pit of her stomach. She grabbed her mug, pulling it towards her. “She came to see me and shoved the envelope in my face, telling me to bring it to you. I-I told her it wasn’t my responsibility, and she should do it herself if she wanted the papers signed... I’m sorry, I should’ve just taken them.”

“It’s not your fault. She shouldn’t have put that on you.” He held her gaze, and he could see anguish coloring her eyes. “It is done now either way, so all is well.”

She took a sip of her tea, bending her legs against her chest.

He wanted to move away from talking of his ex – the sour subject having left him with a bitter aftertaste.

And so, his eyes settled on the box in front of him. “Your package?”

His voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She resettled in her seat, placing her mug back on the table. “Hmm, y-yes. Just some new yarn and I got a second pair of needles, just in case y-you wanted to give it a try... as a hobby.” She slid them to him, timid. He chuckled and thanked her as he took them.

They were disturbed by the whining of her cat, the poor feline caught in the abandoned light strings.

Liliann leaned sideways to see what had happened.

“Damn it.” She muttered under her breath and quickly got up to help him while Sihtric remained seated, his eyes venturing back to the box and the needles in front of him.

His mind wandered back to what his ex had said about his friend, making him angry in return against the insults.

He had regretted the events of today and had wished he would’ve stayed put instead – at least spending it with Liliann.

He was brought out of thought when she came back with her cat in her arms. “I think he is lonely. My company doesn’t seem to suffice anymore.”

He smirked, a light huff running down his tongue. “Well of course, he needs a friend to get tangled in the lights with – right buddy?” He scratched under the cat’s chin, inciting a whine from the little one.

She smiled at his words, watching him entertain her pet with her heart in her throat. “I have been thinking about maybe getting a second one, to keep him company.”

“It would be a nice Christmas present for him.” He lifted his eyes to her, never letting go of the soft smile he wore. “For you too as well.”

She nodded, reciprocating the affection. “Yes, I guess so.”

Aramis then wiggled out of her arms, throwing another whine at her as he jumped to the floor, scurrying himself away.

A small laugh escaped Sihtric as he got up to his feet; Liliann remained still, watching him.

“I’m gonna go shower.”

“O-okay.” He was walking out, just about to disappear into the hallway when she jumped as well, calling for him. “Sihtric?” Standing up, her fingers went for her shirt, her habit nitpicking the fabric. “A-about the divorce… How are you holding up?”

He pondered before answering. “I’m okay. I’m relieved, I guess.”

“G-great! I-I mean that it’s all sorted now, a-and that it’s a good thing its over- that you got closure- that you got her out of your system.” She couldn’t seem to stop, her foot digging deeper into her mouth.

He raised his brow, confused. “That I got her out of my system?”

“We-well, yea. You s-slept with her right?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer, already striding with her follow ups. “Y-you were gone all day-” He didn’t answer, the clumsy moment forcing her to jump, ready to face her train. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry, I just… She hurt you the first time around. I don’t want her to do it again if you’re thinking of getting back together with her… You deserve better.”

He sighed, understanding the sentiment behind her words. She worried for him, and he appreciated it. “We’re not getting back together.” No relief seemed to cross her. “I promise. She’s the last person I want in my life right now.” He was about to walk away when he stopped, owing the last piece of truth of his day to her. “But yea... You could say, I got her out of my system.”

She felt a percussion hitting her right in the chest. With a hitched breath, she swallowed the lump lodged in her throat – though it remained stuck. “G-good. That’s good- for the closure I mean.” She was hiding her jealousy and had hoped he wouldn’t notice. She gave him a reassuring smile as he walked away with the same facial expression. Once gone, she cursed at herself, under her breath, as she fell back on her seat, her thick socks almost making her slip in the process.

Her head turned to her poorly decorated tree and the mess surrounding it, cursing at herself again. “You’re such an idiot, Lil… ugh, this is stupid.” She exhaled heavily, saddened and annoyed at herself. She bit down her tongue, holding back her tears. She should be happy his ex was out of his life, but the small twig of envy embedded in her, burnt her the way a paper cuts through skin. She chugged down a sip of her tea and got up, having the sudden urgent need to put everything away - not wanting to finish her task of adding some merriment to her home.

There was no point to it anymore, she thought.

'Dearest Liliann, I have some good news – I have a parole hearing coming up. Well, it’s yet to be good news depending on the outcome. I don’t know what to expect from the board. Whatever their verdict, I hope you will remain by my side as I’m sure I will need you... Sorry if I sound dramatic. If the hearing fails and my sentence remains, will you still write to me?’

“Oh, s-sorry!” She was startled by her sight, and quickly backed herself against the frame of her door while trying to turn around, only to end up almost knocking herself out along the way. “Didn’t mean to disturb you.” She had walked into her bedroom to find Sihtric doing a morning workout by her bed, surprising her.

He stopped at her entrance and got up to his feet, meeting her with a relaxed beam across his face. “You didn’t.” He was catching his breath, the smile on his lips remaining as he stood tall in front of her, shirtless.

She attempted to avert her gaze elsewhere, suddenly timid at his stance, desperate to spit out words for distraction. “T-training for something?” Her eyes kept gravitating towards him, a coy pull she couldn’t resist.

He chuckled, the sound coaxing a sightless tremor to her knees, as he picked up his shirt from the bed. “A habit I picked up.” She bit the inside of her lip, her teeth pressing harshly into the skin, as heat crept up to her cheeks and painted them pink. Flustered, she scrunched her face, eyes closed, as her hand stretched out to scratch the back of her head, tilting downwards. “I-I thought you were in the shower- I was going to pick up my s-scrubs for work...”

The sly smirk on his face was not letting him go as he noticed the redness in her cheeks and the stammer on her tongue. The shirt now covering him, he approached Liliann as he spoke up, trying to hide his amusement at her reaction. “It’s alright, I was heading out to the kitchen anyways.”

She nodded, her head lifted back up to him as she cleared her throat and pushed herself away when he stood in front of her, needing to walk through the door. She could barely set her eyes on him as he was watching her; the second of eye contact dried her throat, the blush on her cheeks deepening into her veins as butterflies settled in the pit of her stomach.

Once he was behind her, walking away, the breath she had held hostage escaped her. She smacked her cheeks, embarrassed by the way she had greeted him, and hoped to god he didn’t notice – though the haunted thoughts in the back of her head were telling her otherwise. She took a moment, gathering her senses while taking deep breaths to calm herself. She hated how rattled she had been; the scene replayed itself inside her mind, the results coming out differently than what she had just experienced.

Once dressed in her uniform, ready for the day, she made her way back into the living room to find him walking out of the kitchen just as she was heading out.

He stared, caught off guard at her appearance. She caught him, frowning in worry. “I-is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?” He shook his head, his startling jump disintegrating. “No... I forgot you were a nurse.”

She mouthed a silent “Oh”, her instinct pushing her for the comical approach. “I don’t blame you. It is a forgettable detail.” She shrugged her shoulders, still jesting. “Even I forget sometimes.”

He chuckled at her comment; she grinned, content with herself she made him laugh.

She jumped back in, her demeanor, now calm. “I need to head out for work. Make yourself comfortable, alright?”

Sihtric grew uncomfortable, unsure of her proposal. “Are you sure you’re okay with me staying?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be? You’ve been here two days already.” She picked up her purse and put on her coat before reaching for her boots, all the while trying to reassure him.

He wasn’t convinced. “Yes, but you were here, with me.”

Liliann sighed; concern etched across her face. “Sihtric, I promise you, treat this place like it’s your own. For as long as you need.”

His shoulders fell, the uncertainty in his posture bringing her closer to him. He ran his fingers through his hair, the heaviness of her belief in him weighing him down. “You really trust me to leave me here by myself?”

She chuckled while patting him on the shoulder.

“I trust you with my life.”

Her words had slipped, like a body rapidly falling on ice, before she even realized what they had meant. She blushed out of embarrassment, her eyes wide as she stared at Sihtric. She then stumbled on her feet, rushing towards the door to make her way out without even giving him the chance to respond to her remark. “I’ll see you at the end of the day. If there is anything, call me!”

He reluctantly nodded, thanking her again with a softness to his tone before she disappeared on the other side of the door.

The sudden silence that came with her exit left him overwhelmed, the sudden emotion crashing violently like waves would, into the bottom of a cliff under a heavy storm. Guilt grabbed him, unsettling feelings shaking him, haunting him almost.

The thoughts rummaging inside his mind pushed him to believe that her generosity was only there on behalf of his manipulation towards her. It left a bitter taste on his tongue, his heart growing heavy the longer he pondered over it while his stare leapt around him.

Aramis came to him while lost in his head. The cat purred against his leg, brushing his fur against the fabric of his sweats. Sihtric picked him up before glancing around the room again, his eyes following the trail of boxes his ex had left until they led him to the Christmas tree, the ornamental statue feebly standing with pride.

He sighed, taking a moment for himself.

He revisited the last couple of days – from the moment he finally met her at his parole hearing, to the night they almost kissed, and to the night after that.

The boulder grew heavy on his shoulders, the longer he pictured her in his mind’s eyes. He cared for her – that, he couldn’t deny. Yet, he knew himself undeserving of her, the anguish gnawing at him from the inside out. He knew she was breaking her neck for him, and he couldn’t let it go on any longer.

Aramis brought him out of his thoughts as the pet jumped out of his arms, the little one running away to sit at the coffee table. Sihtric approached him as he fetched his old phone out of his pocket. Dialing one of the very few phone numbers he could remember, he stopped when he noticed a box hiding under the surface of the table.

He bent down and picked it up, a small smile gracing his lips as he recognized the envelopes he had been using for his letters. Liliann had kept every single one of them – like he had done – including the first one she had received by accident. Looking through the stack of papers, he also found his ex’s ring, the piece of jewelry having been given back to his friend for safe keeping.

Sihtric’s heart broke remembering how their friendship came to be, when Liliann had received mail that was intended for the apartment across the hall. It was when Sihtric’s ex had rejected the letter in question, not wanting anything more to do with him, not because he was in jail but because she had someone else on the other side of that door, that Liliann decided to respond back and let him know – out of the goodness of her heart.

They had kept in touch since then.

Which now, he had almost wished they shouldn’t have; he should not have answered - he should’ve just let it be.

He ran his fingers through his hair, his head leaned back to the ceiling as he fell on the couch. Aramis jumped on his lap, creating himself a comfortable seat.

The man, traipsing back into his mind let himself wonder; she was one of the good things that had happened in his life. She was caring and he could confess his liking of her, but the lump lodged behind his ribcage, the one that echoed across his limbs from bones to marrow – he was not able to continue his thought, a distant voice shaking him back to reality.

He startled the cat from his sudden movement as Sihtric sat up, looking down at his phone as he realized the number he composed had answered.

He brought it to his ear, taking a second as a breath silently escaped.

“Hey, Finan? It’s me.”

‘Dear Sihtric, my name is Liliann. This letter mistakenly arrived at my door when I believed it was meant for your roommate? Or partner? I thought I should let you know, out of courtesy, but she refused your letter, citing that she no longer wanted to be in contact with you. I’m sorry about this. Hope things will get better where you are.’

The jiggle of the keys into her lock had stirred the cat awake, the pet rushing into hiding under the Christmas tree.

The door opening, Liliann walked in, in complete exhaustion; another hardening day at work, relief washed through as she stepped into her quaint home.

Closing the door, she stood still for a moment as she caught her breath - the broken lift was going to be the death of her, she thought; the stairs had been her Everest, always climbing them yet barely able to conquer.

Only when her breathing settled did she finally take note of the silence surrounding her; her eyes averted to the empty spaces.

All of Sihtric’s boxes were gone.

Perhaps he emptied them, she thought. Maybe it is silent because he was simply throwing them away, she told herself.

Yet, she couldn’t help but call for him, her voice carrying the smallest of echoes. “Sihtric?”

The eerie quietness unsettled her. It was different than before. It was colder somehow, lonelier.

She took a few more steps inside, until she noticed an envelope resting on her coffee table, her name etched eloquently across its surface.

Her heart dropped, dread aggravating the discomfort in her stomach.

The bags she had been holding in both hands, the groceries she had picked up for the simple task of wanting to make a home cooked meal for him, clattered on the floor with the bottom thudding softly against her rug. She had thought it would have been nice to make dinner for two, for once; it was the simple want of recreating her childhood holiday traditions and sharing them with him. To spread some cheer in this damp place, to give him some spirit after the roughness of his last few years.

Hands trembling, she reluctantly picked up the envelope and slowly opened it before pulling out the sealed letter.

My dearest Liliann, this is my last letter…

She couldn’t go on, her eyes stuck to the first sentence, paralyzed. The words resonated within her brain, trying to fully comprehend their significance until they struck her right into the pit of her chest, a sudden sharpening pain striking her ribcage.

Unable to hold on any longer, the paper was let go as it flew downwards until it softly reached the carpet in a silent swoop.

It was as if her body had given out, her knees buckling under the weight of her heartbreak.

Devastation settling at her core, a staggered breath stroke her lungs as her throat choked, ready to erupt under a dawning new reality; it wasn’t the dim lights of the tree, which added a melancholic glow to her living room, that broke her down.

It wasn’t the emptiness of her apartment that tore her apart. Something was amiss, odd and suddenly unfamiliar, but it wasn’t the state of his place that left her to drown.

Hope having vanished, warmth having dissipated from her home, she was left bare and desolate.

It was crippling.

No longer strong enough to stand, she sat on her knees, holding in her tears as her mind was disjointing the last few days she shared with him. She wondered if she had done something wrong, something so upsetting it made him want to leave.

She didn’t dare read the rest of the letter, too frightened of what the content could hold.

But if she only kept going, would she have found his penmanship detailing his apology for leaving her, how he was grateful for her kindness and generosity but how, as well, it was best if he remained away from her. How she was better off living her life without him, how he was asking for her forgiveness at leaving so abruptly, and that he wishes her the best. At how he would forever be grateful for the hope she gifted him and how the letters had become the only source of happiness in his dingy world.

‘You’ve given me so much, Liliann, and I hope, despite the way I have left, you will accept this parting gift… Wishing you the best with your future.’

The purring of her cat caught her attention as he reached for her, pressing himself against her knee. She picked him up and started stroking his fur while settling him against her chest. Shattered, she exhaled a deep breath as she looked down at him, her voice carrying a tremor at the back of her throat. “I guess it’s just the two of us again…” Her fingers reached for his chin, scratching softly before her gaze wandered around until they fell back to her pet again.

“You’ll never leave me Aramis, right?”

The dejection laced into her words was met with a gentle purring. She frowned when she saw her cat did not move.

The softest of calls tickled her ears again and she lifted her head, following the unfamiliar sound.

A shaken breath escaped her lungs, and tears swiftly escaped their confine as they stroked her cheeks.

Liliann stared at the box by her tree while hugging Aramis closer to her.

Within the silence of her living room, the noise resonated once again.

She could see it, but believing it was still a challenge to grasp.

It had done it once more, her heart shattering into pieces as she silently cried.

Across the room, a rescue kitten peeked out of its box, calling for whoever would listen.

It was but a singular note that had set up the rest of her night.

“Meow.”

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xoxo

#the last kingdom #sihtric #sihtric x oc #sihtric fic #sihtric fanfic #tlk fanfic #arnas fedaravicius #mywriting #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom fanfic #Photo by Ranurte on Unsplash #tlk

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illtakeyoutowonderland · 9 months

Text

The One (Part 16)

The one with the silence

Sihtric x Reader

A/N: Ragetti is the name of the one-eyed character from The Pirates of The Caribbean. You'll know what I mean! I left a picture for reference at the end of this post :)

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Y/N said her goodbyes to Thyra and Beocca, telling them she was tired and that they should stay and enjoy the party once they tried to leave with her. She walked toward the entrance of the palace when she found Steapa sitting in the garden, having a drink by himself. He saw her and gave her a nod as he stood up, clearly not expecting anyone to catch him sitting alone away from the party "Lady"

"Aren't you supposed to be guarding? Inside?" She asked him with a smile

"I just needed a minute from all the..."

"Royal drama?" She raised an eyebrow and he nodded while they shared a laugh

"Are you leaving already, Lady?" He asked and she nodded "Let me walk you. I could use the air" He said before she could protest.

So both of them made their way back from the wedding to the ale house, where Y/N knew she would find Finan, Osferth and Sihtric drinking. Steapa walked next to her and Y/N was glad she got to share the walk with him. He was a very funny man, he had make her laugh almost all the way, her laughter earning the attention of her friends once they got there, only to be greeted by a very annoying Aethelwold who walked to them as soon as he saw her

"Lady Y/N. I've been looking for you at the party" He said and her friends looked between the pair, confused

"I can make him disappear, Lady" Steapa whispered to her only which made her laugh "Just say the word?" He begged for a reason to punch the man but they both knew it wasn't the ideal way to behave and that it would only creat more chaos

"I'm fine, my friend" She said to him with a smile "Go enjoy the wedding"

"Lady" He said nodding at her before going back to the palace, not without sending a warning look to Aethelwold

Y/N sat next to Finan and Aethelwold boldly sat across from her, next to a very annoyed Sihtric who looked at him but Aethelwold decided to ignore him "Why is the weasel looking for you, Y/N?" Finan asked but she only shrugged as she poured herself some ale

"The weasel has a name, Irishman" Aethelwold replied rolling his eyes

"So you do consider yourself a weasel" Osferth said making everyone at the table laughed, except for Aethelwold

"Said the bastard child..."

"Hey! You better watch it, Ragetti" Y/N sternly said slamming her cup on the table and pointing at Aethelwold "You will not talk to my friends that way" Everyone stood silent for a few seconds, surprised by the way Y/N had reacted and defended Osferth. But she hold the one-eyed man's gaze, daring him to say something other than an apology

"My apologies, Lady" He said smiling at her in an attempt to make himself believable "It seems I may have drunk too much already and I lost my manners" She didn't believe him, no one did. But she said nothing else

"Who's Ragetti?" Osferth asked and Y/N rolled her eyes but laughed at her friend's confusion telling him he would tell him later

"I must say you have a beautiful smile, Lady" Aethelwold spoke again

"Okay...?" She replied sipping from her cup and she looked over to Sihtric who only shrugged at her

"What is it you want, Aethelwold?" Finan asked annoyed at the man

"All I want, Finan, is to get to know the Lady better" He explained "Is that a crime?"

"What if I told you she is already taken?" Finan said to him and a frown appeared in both Y/N and Aethelwold's face

"She is?" He asked clearly not believing him

"I am?" Finan gave her a look "I am" She stated to the man

"By God" Osferth added, catching up with the joke

"Ah, yes, God" She said as she looked up to the sky "My one and only true man" Finan snorted, Osferth smiled widely and even Sihtric couldn't contain his laugh. It was pretty obvious they were messing with Aethelwold, and he might be annoying but he wasn't that supid. He knew what was happening so he eventually got up from the table to leave

"It was lovely to meet you, Lady" Aethelwold said and Y/N gave him a weird smile "Hope I will see you again, soon" And with that he walked away from the table ignoring the other men sitting with her

"What's with you and the royal family?" Finan asked her after a few seconds

"I have no idea" She said as she shrugged "Maybe I am meant to be royalty. I know I am a princess at heart, at least" She joked and everyone laughed, Finan pouring the last of the ale on his cup

But Y/N took the cup away from him "Do not" He stated as he tried to take it back but she was faster, slipping away from her sit next to him as she drunk it all in one sip earning a laugh from anyone but Finan "She always does that" He mumbled as she sat next to Sihtric this time, for protection against her grumpy friend "You are paying for the next jug, young lady" He said pionting at her

"Princesses do not pay" She scoffed with too much confidence "Also this princess does not have any coin" Osferth smiled at her friend and Y/N felt Sihtric's body shaking next to her chuckling at her words.

"This princess needs to learn how to braid her hair" Sihtric said to her as he touched one of the few braids along her long hair. Y/N heart skipped a bit when he had called her princess, already feeling a little blush on her cheeks

"Oh, I know how to" She said not pushing his hand away from her "I'm just lazy" She shrugged and smiled at him playfully. A smile he returned and she wondered how she had not melted already. He hold her gaze and for a second she felt as if it was only the two of them...

"Sihtric?" A new voice broke them from their little moment and they looked over to the source of the voice only to found a woman standing close to the table. Sihtric's frame stiffened, his hand falling from her hair and everyone's smile fade away "Can we talk?" She looked uncomfortable, nervous even. A few awkward, and silent, seconds went by before Sihtric got up, saying nothing, and followed her away from the ale house and into the dark streets

"Who is that?" Y/N asked her friends and she noticed the uncomfortable look Osferth and Finan shared with each other

"That's Sigdeflaed" Osferth replied to her "Sihtric's almost wife"

"Osferth" Finan said sternly, clearly he had given too much information

"Oh" Y/N said softly, realizing there was much to the story she thought "I didn't know he almost got married"

"It is not something he enjoys rememebering, Lady" Finan said to her as he grabbed the empty jug of ale and got up from the table "There is a reason he does not speak about it. And it is not our story to tell" He said to Osferth who looked down at the table and nodded at his friend's words

Y/N really really wanted to ask. She consider pushing Osferth about it once Finan drop drunk on his bed, but decided against it. It felt wrong, Sihtric would tell her if he wanted to, right?

A few days had passed and she noticed how Sihtric's interactions with her had diminished noticeably. He hadn't made any comment on what happened or what the woman wanted, at least not in front of her.

"It'd be months before Edward's king" Finan said as they all sat together at Beocca's place. But Y/N was once again not paying attention but watching over Sihtric, wishing she could read minds so she could figure out why on earth the quietest of men had gone even quieter when Thyra entered the house

Y/N touched slightly Hild's arm, both women noticing Thyra's upset state. They both walked toward the red haired woman and saw the tears on her face, Hild did not doubt when she pushed her in a comforting hug while Y/N made a signal to the men "Thyra?" Said Beocca realizing something was going on "What is it? Why the tears?"

"I'm going to fucking kill him" Y/N said grabbing her knife after Thyra had told them between sobs what just happened with a man name Tidman on the streets

"Not if I kill him first" Beocca mumbled as he stormed out of the door

"Wooah, easy there" Finan said as he took the knife from her hand "You are not killing anybody"

"Y/N no" Thyra said stopping her from arguing with Finan "If you go it will put a target on your back"

"She is right" Uhtred agreed "You already stand out too much"

"I do not" She replied rolling her eyes and everyone gave her a look "I do?"

"Please stay" Thyra said and once again Y/N did not have the heart to tell her no, so she stayed. She sat next to her friend as the men started to follow Beocca to prevent him from doing something stupid or for backup, Y/N was not sure. Sihtric gave her one final look before he walked out, Y/N missing it for a second as she looked up and saw his back towards her as Osferth closed the door.

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Picture for reference of Ragetti, from Pirates of The Caribbean

@secretdreamlandmentality

@superawesomegeek

If you wanna be tag, let me know! 💜

#the last kingdom #finan #sihtric #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric fic #sihtric x reader #sihtric the last kingdom #uhtred #uhtred of bebbanburg #sihtric kjartasson x reader #sihtric x you #the last kingdom fic #sihtric fanfic

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volklana · 11 days

Text

Sihtric's Whore

Request: how about in season 3 when Sihtric 'betrays' Uhtred to go and spy on the danes, you try to stop him from taking the captives and then in the morning even though he doesn't mean it Uhtred scolds you in front of everyone for just 'letting him go'

Warning: Use of the word whore in a derogatory manner.

My very first time writing for this character I hope I did him justice.

Requests are open.

Sihtric was becoming more solemn with each sip, an uneasy expression crossing his face.

One you were not used to seeing, one that made you, in turn, uneasy.

Finan was barely able to stay awake, head propped up on his hand and you were yearning for Uhtred to finally release you all so you could away to bed.

Having checked on Osferth already, your eyes were heavy and your heart was weary, you would never admit to another soul that you had cried tears beside the sleeping baby monk earlier, death had come a little too close for your liking and until Skade had lifted her curse, you were afraid for your friends that it’s boney arms would try to snatch another one of them away before their time.

You released a breath you didn’t realise you were holding as Uhtred approached your table.

You watched in horror as the arguing began between Uhtred and Sihtric, reaching out a hand to stay Sihtric and shrinking when he swatted it away, as Uhtred got up to leave.

“Sihtric, you are drunk and tired,” Finan hissed and you silently urged Sihtric with your eyes not to continue down this path.

You were both equally horrified when Uhtred swung back around, informing Sihtric he was welcome to leave if he was unhappy in his service.

You and Finan were out of your seats quicker than the blink of an eye when Sihtric rounded on Unthred, raising his voice “I have fought for you!”

“Sihtric please, please don’t do this,” you pleaded, hands on his chest attempting to push him back towards his seat and he swung wildly free from your grasp with a snarl.

You turned, silently pleading with Uhtred when he spat “Stay or go I do not care,” you could not hide the hurt that etched across your face.

“He does not mean that. He does care.” Finan tried to appease, urging everyone to sit back down.

“If you wish to make the square Uhtred of Bebbanburgh, let us do it.”

“No,” you and Finan cried out in unison “There will be no squares made, no fighting, just sleep!” Finan pleaded.

After Uhtred’s threat to kill Sihtric if he was still here in the morning you heard your blood pound in your ears.

You scurried after Uhtred, catching him just as he made it outside.

“Uhtred,” you called but he made no reply “Lord,” you cried out this time more urgent and when he finally turned to face you, you could see the venom in his eyes.

“You can’t mean it, please?”

“Every word,” he spat “And if that displeases you little one, you may follow.”

You shrank back from him eyes stinging at the betrayal and burst your way back into the tavern.

You took a seat beside a defeated Finan. Sihtric was refusing to face either of you. Turning his attention instead to the Danes. You grasped at Finan’s hand a silent plea to reassure you that everything was going to be okay, and he shook his head, eyes softening when he took in your huge, worried ones staring back. He couldn’t reassure you, because he couldn’t even reassure himself.

You were sitting by Osferth’s side, sleep had long evaded you with the worry pitting in your stomach and for the first time in your life you prayed to the gods that morning would not come, your only hope at preventing the inevitable fall out from this night.

You saw the flicker of shadows and the muffled sound of steps pass Osferth’s window and realised with a start that the Danes were escaping and grabbing your sword you set off in pursuit, you arrived just as Sihtric was about to mount his horse.

“Sihtric,” you cried out in disbelief “What is this?” You demanded, angrily holding the sword up to his chest, whilst the rest of the Danes looked on.

You watched as his expression hardened “I am leaving, as has been commanded,” he spat.

“You began this course, Sihtric. I begged you. As I am begging you now. Please do not do this.”

“It is done,” he said with a finality, eyes softening only for a second when he registered the tears in your eyes.

“Put down the sword, y/n,” he urged, grasping your weapon by the blade and easing it down, “We both know you will not harm me. I leave tonight, come with me if you wish. You know I will care for you and keep you safe but I will offer this only once.”

“You know I can’t,” you cried begging him with your eyes “Please stay here. With me,”

“You know I can’t,” he countered softly, before his eyes hardened again, “Stay with Uhtred or come with me. Make your decision now and make it quick.”

You shook your head as tears freely slipped down your face and he nodded with a snarl, before turning and mounting his horse “And so you have made it, as I have made mine,” he kicked his horse into action and you watched in horror as the Danes did the same, leaving you amidst the chaos of hooves and dust.

Finan burst into your room at first light and one look at your disheveled appearance told him everything he needed to know.

“I couldn’t stop him,” you cried into his chest “He wouldn’t stay.”

“Hush now, it’s alright,” the Irish man soothed rubbing patterns onto your back “You’re alright. I’ve got ya.”

Osferth was well enough to make it to the Alehouse and was delighting in having you and Finan fetch him anything he needed, namely ale.

Silence descended when Uhtred returned back, as he and Finan embraced and he informed him Sihtric was gone, you watched in silence as he embraced Osferth and then his eyes like lightning found yours, and you quickly turned your gaze to the floor.

“I tried to stop him lord,” was all you could mutter.

“You let him escape,” he answered back quickly “And the prisoners,”

“Yes, lord,” you confirmed and he made a tutting noise, followed by a long sigh.

“She was one girl against a band of Danes,” Osferth argued on your behalf

“She was one girl, in love with one Dane,” Uhtred fired back and you felt your body light on fire with shame amidst the laughter that broke out among the men.

Your voice shook as you wrung your hands together “But I chose you, and I won’t fail you again lord,”

Uhtred softened at this, his expression melting, and he nodded your way with a soft, reassuring smile before he pulled you into a quick embrace.

“It is done, little one,” he whispered affectionately and you felt the weight of seven worlds fall off your shoulders.

Sihtric’s betrayal, the men and Osferth to your horror were calling it. As though Uhtred was the Christian nailed god, and Sihtric were Judas, you knew thirty pieces of silver had not been exchanged but maybe that would have made his desertion somewhat more understandable than a few heated words. But if Uhtred was Christ and Sihtric was Judas, you had become Mary Magdalene, the whore of the story. Sihtric’s whore to be precise, that’s what some of the men had taken to sneering at you, and one even spat as you were readying your horse to ride to the Dane camp alongside Uhtred, “Sihtric’s whore.”

You hunkered down in the overgrowth amongst the men watching the Dane camp, heart hammering in your chest. You knew Sihtric was within the camp and you knew that there would be no hesitation to kill him from the group of men you lay beside. You had tried to convince yourself that you would be able to hurt him if it came to it, but you knew deep down you would rather run the blade through yourself than harm him. Even after it all. Even now.

It was Finan who had sat beside you last night, your eyes tired and face gaunt and he bumped your shoulder in his merry way before taking your hand in his. Sometimes you thought Finan was the only one who truly saw how much you were suffering Sihtric’s loss.

Truth be told he had been teasing Sihtric for months about you, any man would have to be blind to not see the way Sihtric looked at you. He was your shadow ever since the day you joined the group. Always by your side, always prepared to help you up or down from your horse. He never returned with a mug of ale for himself, without one for you too.He always strategically set your tent up closer to the fire, sneaking you more furs and food rations when he thought you weren’t looking.

Finan had been sure the Dane was smitten by you, and he watched your regard for the Dane grow by the day. You tended all his wounds with tender hands and you oftentimes braided his hair, humming softly to yourself as your hands worked gently through his soft curls. In the evenings of merriment, he would watch your body lean almost subconsciously towards Sihtric and your eyes, half-hooded, always seemed to be memorizing his face when he wasn’t looking at you.

“You know he’s going to be there,” he murmured softly and squeezed your hand reassuringly.

“I know,” you sniffed resolutely, “I’ve made my peace with it, and should the moment arise I am prepared.”

Finan squeezed your hand again once for good measure and left you with your mug of ale.

“Someone’s coming!” Finan shushed and a hush ran through your camp.

“It is Sihtric,” Osferth gasped and you felt your stomach drop to your toes.

“You have something to say to me boy?” Uhtred demanded and Sihtric approached further, steely determination across the features you knew so well.

“Yield to me,” he commanded and pressed his sword towards Uhtred’s chest, you were sprung like a coil ready to unleash if needed you watched Finan do the same. You were reminded of that night in the alehouse when you and Finan had acted in unison to try to prevent this.

You watched in horror as Uhtred and Sihtric erupted into laughter and moved to embrace each other, amidst Osferth’s joyful announcing that they had been playing you all.

“I fooled you,” Sihtric beamed to Finan who was almost stuttering in disbelief claiming to have known it was all a jest all along. Finan, Osferth and Sihtric took their turns embracing each other but you were rooted to the spot. You felt the world spinning like you were going to be sick and you pushed yourself through the men until you breached the last line and you were spilling your guts out onto the forest floor.

A pair of mismatched eyes searched the crowd for you, his face scrunching when he was unable to find you, and then turned his attention back to Uhtred as they formulated their plan for the night.

“You’ve never failed me Sihtric, I will see you at the tree,” you heard Uhtred utter proudly and then your legs gave way.

It was Finan who found you trembling at the back of the pack,“Good jaysus,” he mumbled before hoisting you up and patting you down before Uhted called him away. There would be time to sort this all out once this night had passed.

You followed through the long grass, fleeing to the ships following Sihtric’s lead. Uhtred had secured Skade and you were being pursued by Haeston’s Danes. You cut down any Dane who stood between you and the ship, jumping with ease and landing into strong arms that pulled you to the safety within, you punched at Sihtric's chest urging him to let go and were glad when he relented, turning instead to steady the men who were fleeing onboard. You pulled with all your might under Finan’s shouted orders, boring daggers into the back of the man you loved sitting in front of you.

Osferth was too weak too row and your arms were screaming with pain, having rowed through the night. The oars were beginning to blister your hands but you refused to give in.

Sihtric had tried to sneak glances over his shoulder at you but you refused to meet his eye. Instead turning all your anger and wasted worry into ensuring you kept rowing.

Your aching body was relieved to finally moor in Coccham, swatting Sihtric’s hand away as he attempted to help you from the boat.

“Please, y’n,” he muttered, trying to to meet your eye, but relented when you pushed by him, icy anger in your veins.

As you began the ride back to Winchester you were solemn. You had barely spoken a word to anyone and Finan regarded you with worry across his features.

“You could have told her,” Finan swiped at Sihtric, “Of all of us, you could have told her.”

“How could I?” Sihtric sighed, running a tired hand across his face.

“You didn’t see the way the men treated her for allowing you to escape.”

Sihtric froze, eyes wild, urging Finan to continue.

“They called her whore Sihtric. Your whore. They thought she had betrayed Uhted and she thought she had too. She barely ate or slept, and now you turn up and all is forgiven, But she has endured the brunt of yours and Uhtred’s decisions.”

Sihtric watched you ride wearily, he could see the defeat in the way you held yourself and he wanted nothing more than to take back all the hurt he had caused you, but he startled at the thought that you might not let him.

In Winchester you all settled in the alehouse, the lodgings above adequate enough for the rest you needed, You barely picked at the stew you were given and Finan took the spot beside you.

“Lady,” he sighed “You need to eat, come on, even just a few spoonfuls more.”

You shook your head and he grabbed the spoon, diving it into the food and bringing it up towards your mouth “Come ooon,” he urged “Look how delicious this is, open up that pretty mouth of yours and take a bite.” You couldn’t suppress the laugh that escaped your lips when he all but shoved the spoon into your mouth and he quickly chased it with another.

“Finan, you are feeding me like a mother feeds a babe,” you giggled, the first time he had heard that sound in weeks.

“Well be and good babe, and take another bite, and I will stop mothering you.”

You swiped your spoon back and finished off the rest of your bowl.

“Happy, mother hen?” you teased and he wiped the corner of your mouth with his thumb.

“Happy,” he conceded.

“Finan,” you sighed and he hummed and you scooted up in your seat to rest your body against his, taking the hint he wrapped his arms around you, placing his chin on your head, pulling you closer.

“You were the only one who stood by me. You stopped me from falling apart.”

“Nothing you haven’t done for me a thousand times over, love.” he all but whispered into your hair.

Someone clearing their throat pulled your attention away from Finan’s warmth and you were shocked to see a rather meek looking Sihtric standing at the table, a bunch of flowers in hand.

“Can I talk with you lady? Please?” he begged.

Finan gave you a reassuring tap and slid away from you.

“Outside?” he begged again.

And even though you didn’t want to, your feet were moving of their own accord.

You walked a little in silence together and eventually you realised you were going to have to make the first move.

“Sihtric, can you please just say whatever it is you wish to say to me, I am cold and I am tired.”

It was like he was burned into action, shrinking off his cloak and wrapping it around your shoulders before you could protest, and he all but pressed the flowers into your hands.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered gently “I am sorry for leaving you. For allowing all the blame to be placed upon your shoulders and I am sorry for demanding you choose between Uhtred and I.”

“Why did you do it?” you pleaded and he wanted to drop to his knees before you.

“I hoped..I hoped you would choose me. I would have confessed it all to you if you had come. But I understand why you could not.”

“They called me your whore Sihtric,” you cried, unable to stop the tears welling in your eyes, “And now you press these flowers into my hand and you say you are sorry but I have come to realise that maybe..maybe my regard for you is stronger than yours for me and I am no longer willing to be Sihtric’s whore.”

The name was especially unfair, when you considered you had never so much as pressed your lips to Sihtric’s, let alone lay with him.

“You are no whore,” Sihtric spat, sinking to his knees in front of you, “But I am a fool, that is true. A coward who should have told you long before this day that you are the light of my life. Ever since the day we met I have loved you and if you think I do not regard you in the highest form possible, you are wrong.”

You bit at your lip, allowing the tears to fall freely now.

“I have asked for Uhtred’s permission, and now I ask for yours, forget the name Sihtric’s whore and become Sihtric’s wife. Let me never leave you in doubt of my devotion to you again. Let me worship you. Let me be loyal to you. Let me fight for you. Let me love you.”

He moved closer to you on his knees, grasping your hips in his hands resting his head against your stomach “Let us raise pups who look like me but have all the best of you. Let me love you.” he repeated “Be my wife.”

“You hurt me, Sihtric.” you all but whimpered, but already your free hand was tracing the scar across his face tenderly all resolve melting.

“I hurt you this once my love and I will never, ever hurt you again. On Thor’s hammer,” he grasped at the pendant he wore around his neck and his two mismatched eyes bore up into your own.

“Be my wife.” he pleaded again.

“Sihtric’s wife,” you repeated and you were nodding furiously “Yes, yes Sihtric I will be your wife.”

He rose up furiously to crush his lips against yours, pulling you off your feet as he swung you around, the flowers falling from your grasp as you laughed through the tears.

“You are really mine?” you cried cupping his grinning face in your hands.

“From the moment I met you, I have been yours.”

Tagging: @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @whitedarkmoonflower @shamrockqueen @canyonmoon-2

#sihtric x reader #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #sihtric x you

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