#allos of any kind disgust me
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If it's wrong by faith and morals to want to choke on a woman's dick, suffocate between the legs of an enby, drown myself in the taste of a mans cunt, and hear the divine moans from the pleasure I provide, then your religion is dark and torturous and I want no part of it. I want to make my partners call out to gods they don't believe in, I want them to hit pitches in moans they never thought possible, for those brief few hours in their presence, I want them to glimpse the peace of every afterlife known and unknown to human kind. I want to gift them bliss, and see them made content. And if that sends me to your religions version of eternal imprisonment and torture, then I guess the next chapter in my existence will be spending my afterlife wading through torturous pain once again to steal one more kiss from the lips of the divine.
You can fear your gods wrath, fear the torture and pain for breaking their rules. I'll accept the challenge of seeing your gods face disgusted and enraged. I don't need your "savior". I need to save a queer person from their shame and dysphoria, and make them feel extraordinary between my sheets.
Call me depraved, call me misguided, call me sick, twisted, disgusting, despicable, and any name you would choose to debase me. I make my bed with the allo's and bake my bread with the aro's you cast aside. In a world you paint with angels and devils, gods and demons, light and shadow, with no grey in-between, I'll be the darkness in the corner and the shadows in the closet where those you cast unjustly aside dwell. Against your hatred, contempt, and dissent; I will be love, respect, and consent. To you, I am Demon; to them I am Goddess, and yet not Queen but equal. I am Her, I am the spirit of resistance against tyranny. I am love made anger, I am hope when surrounded in shadow, I am war when words fail because of obstinate minds wrought from false concepts of superiority, I am She who speaks when no one would, I am words caught in the throat and forced out despite fear. I am rebellion. I ask no altar for worship, no symbol to stand for me, no pedestal to be placed upon. I am comrade, partner, sidekick. I demand egality for all. I am Twin by a name you will not speak. Those that respect me will call me Llorelei. Those that fight with me will call me Accalia or Talia.
#my name change came through#i'm now legally myself#and the power that gives me feels immense and intoxicating and justly so because I am now no longer forced to lie and give a name I don't..#identify with#trans#transgender#mtf#talisidekick#talisidekick things#2slgbtqia+#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#lgbt+#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#2slgbtqia#lets fucking gooooo#no longer being held back in that regard!#one more chain broken!#thank you to all who've so far helped set me free!♡
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hi! i'm the anon who asked if it was ok to send asks abt aromanticism. the main thing i was wondering, and i am very sorry if this is offensive in any way, if its common or normal for aromantic (or asexual) people to feel grossed out when others feel romantic/sexual attraction to them. i recently found out a friend of mine has a crush on me, and it made me have such a strong disgust reaction that it doesnt seem normal to me, like the kind of reaction someone would have upon finding out theyre "desired", even if its one sided. this whole thing is now making me wonder if i am allo, especially since ive never been in any kind of relationship and all my "crushes" have been unrequited
hello there! thanks for stopping by to ask again!
i would say this is very normal for many romance-repulsed aromantic individuals, yes! not every aromantic will feel this way, but i've heard this experience from many, many aromantic people! if you personally do not experience romantic attraction and are repulsed by it, it totally makes sense that someone admitting they have a crush on you would gross you the hell out- that's not something you desire, let alone directed toward yourself, it's uncomfortable as hell
i have a complicated relationship with romance, myself- i'm aromantic, but i have both romance favorable and repulsed qualities- i am absolutely disgusted and repulsed by watching other people show romantic affection toward one another, it makes me feel disgusting and like i need to leave or at least look away. i hate listening to couples gush over each other and i can't stand it when i come across a couple where one partner is absolutely obsessed with the other and can't help but show them affection constantly, it's uncomfortable as hell for me
i am dating favorable, so if it's with a partner of mine, it's not so bad. i do enjoy cuddling, kissing, etc. to a degree, but it is difficult for me to date people who require a LOT of cuddles and kisses. there are times where i very much hate these activities and need to not display them for a while, and sometimes i can't even say "i love you" because it feels so gross. it feels way more gross to say than it does to receive, for whatever reason
i wish you good luck in figuring things out! this is a pretty normal experience for a good portion of aromantic people, you're definitely not wrong for questioning if you're aro because of this feeling. unrequited crushes are normal for everyone, but if you found that you had little to no drive to pursue those "crushes" it may be another sign that romantic relationships just aren't for you. hope that helps some! take care, feel free to ask any more questions you may have!
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thoughts on Astarion and asexuality
by a certified asexual ✌
yes, Astarion confirmed during Act II that he's only ever used sex as a tool (for as long as he's been a vampire anyway, which we learn later has been more than 80% of his life so far), either for his master because he was forced to or (more recently) for himself - to seek protection and trust, from you. he literally compares it to something disgusting to force himself through. but does that mean he's asexual?
yes, he talks about sex feeling "tainted" to him after he used it so much to lure Cazador's victims (and apparently, not just because it usually worked, but because he had to..? he doesn't specify, but lbr i wouldn't put it past the bastard to make it a rule of some kind, especially if he picked up on Astarion disliking it), but he also talks about being less disgusted by (quote) "beautiful" people (though he also conceded that in the sum of it all, that barely even mattered).
and he jokes about it being "almost [...] a challenge" to not have sex for a while (though it's unclear whether he thinks the player wouldn't be able to hold out, since it's supposed to be on his (Astarion's) terms?), and by the end of the romance arc, you can choose to have sex with him again and he'll enjoy it. all in all, it mostly really sounds like he's deeply traumatized (i mean duh, but yk, also sexually traumatized) and just needs a while to work through that (if you don't give him that time he'll go through with it once more but then break up with you, fyi)) and not like he actually doesn't enjoy sex, never has never will.
i know he was not written as asexual.
[ and yes i also know that asexuality doesn't mean having no desire for / feeling disgusted by sex, i know. but the day ace rep is portrayed any differently in media is still ages away, so i'm working with "character intentionally written as ace = character written as not enjoying sex" here. ]
But.
is it so wrong to feel elated at the thought that he could be? to interpret him that way? especially when he says "I don't think I want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don't know if I want anyone to." (and says the second part so softly, eyes downcast, utterly devoid of theatrics or feigned nonchalance - almost like he's surprising himself with that thought, and voicing it openly). I felt that so much. upon you inquiring further, he snaps almost defensively that he wants to be seen as a person, which i know, i know, easily works back into the trauma narrative of him not being seen as a living (well yk) being that has feelings. it clearly doesn't necessarily mean he dislikes being seen as a sexual being, just that he's more than that and is sick and tired of being reduced to it.
but something still jumped in me at that line. 'please don't look at me and think of sex' is a frequent thought in my mind, and looking at me and thinking of seduction is a joke and a half - i don't dress it behave it or talk it, ever. but nonetheless, the... fear, almost? is still there. (and maybe the very reason i take care not to send any contradictory signals, but that's a topic for a whole 'nother post - this isn't about me).
i just. do i think Astarion was intentionally written as asexual? no. do i think he should be, and that there's something wrong with seeing him or preferring him as allo? absolutely not either! but i believe just as much that it's valid to read him or prefer him as ace. and yk, obv everything is valid, canon is your sandbox and your headcanons are your own - but in this case, it's really, really close to being in the text. he resonates with a lot of us, one way or another, and i think that's beautiful.
#asexuality#ace things#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#*takes a deep breath and posts this*#i'm sorry this got a bit ramble-y but i do hope i got my meaning across ok#i love this game so much and i love him so much and every single interpretation that comes from a place of love is equally valid#this is just me talking my own personal feelings out#everyone who's read this far and/or wants to Yell @ me about him / this game / anything related do not hesitate to DM me btw!!#i have feelings for days (literally)
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Why I Headcanon Belle from Beauty and the Beast as Asexual
Some of you seeing this post may be thinking 'But how could Belle be asexual when the whole point of the movie was her falling in love with the Beast?' Just for clarification, asexuality and aromantic mean different things. Someone who is asexual feels little to no sexual attraction, wherein someone who is aromantic feels little to no romantic attraction. That being said, upon rewatching Disney's Beauty and the Beast several times, it's come to my attention just how little signs of sexual attraction Belle conveys throughout the film, and being ace myself, I find how much I relate to her now that I have a better understanding of my own sexuality.
At the beginning of the film, it's established that Belle is not really interested in finding a relationship with anyone in her village. She is an introverted bookworm, and she has a hard time connecting with the other villagers. At the same time however, she's happy just reading her stories all day and helping her father in his shop. She's expressed a longing for a connection (but not neccasarily of the romantic/sexual kind) in her song 'Belle' and the reprise.
There is also the subject of Gaston. Gaston has been established to be the most handsome man in the village, and all the women want him. All except Belle. Not once during any of Belle's interactions with Gaston did she show any signs of attraction towards him. Only disgust and annoyance. The closest sign of 'attraction' on Belle's end was when she admitted to him being handsome, but only as a followup to what her father said about Gaston, and immediately rebuttled with a clear "He's not for me." Additionally, there was an exchange between the three blonde women that Belle must have something wrong with her for not being attracted to Gaston (a common thing allos have said about ace people BTW).
Now you may be thinking 'so she wasn't attracted to Gaston, but what about the Beast? She eventually falls in love with him, so she must've had some form of attraction right?' Those of you who think this forget that the whole point of the story was that Belle falls in love with the Beast DESPITE his looks. When she first meets him, she's repulsed by him, even going so far as to say that she wants nothing to do with him. It isn't until the Beast begins to show his true kind self, that she begins to form a connection with him. During the song "Something There", when Belle and the Beast begin to form a true friendship, she sings the lyrics 'True that he's no Prince Charming' meaning that she still does not find him physically attractive. She follows the lyrics with 'But there's something in him that I simply didn't see.' This shows that although she still finds his appearance jarring, she realizes that he is more than what he appears to be, and so her budding attraction towards him is not physical/sexual, but rather platonic (at least at this point in the story).
As established at the movie's prologue, the Beast's curse can only be broken when he learns to love someone, and earn that person's love in return. Belle and the Beast's relationship continues to grow throughout the film, but Belle does not truly realize she loves him until the end of the film, when the curse finally breaks. Before that point, her feelings for the Beast were platonic, and she refers to him as her 'friend' various times beforehand. During the scene when she does confess her love for him, it was after he had risked his life for her, and after he had spared Gaston when he had tried to kill him. Belle had fallen in love with the Beast because she was attracted to who he was, not what he looked like. Even after the curse had broken, and he had transformed back into a handsome prince, Belle looked more bewildered and confused upon seeing him rather than showing attraction to his new form. She had to look into his eyes to recognize that the man who stood before her was in fact the Beast she had fallen in love with. It was only then that she lovingly kissed him.
In conclusion, I believe Belle from Disney's Beauty and the Beast shows signs of being ace-spec (and possibly demiromantic since she had not fallen in love with the Beast until she had gotten to know him as a person). She showed no interest in the most sexually appealing man in her village, and instead fell in love after forming a true connection with someone who was not conventionally attractive. Thank you for reading.
#beauty and the beast#belle#asexual#happy pride month#pride month#demiromantic#disney princess#disney princesses#disney#headcanon#long post#ace
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Obey Me! Demon Brother’s Reaction to an Aromantic Asexual MC:
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*This MC, Thyme, is an AMAB Aromantic Asexual Agender person who is poly with all of the brothers in a QPR. They act as if it’s romantic and Thyme acts platonically, this is their dynamic and it works.
** Non smut mentions of mastrubation and arousal on the brothers end. No smut!
Lucifer: He wouldn’t mind at all, given that he hardly ever feels sexual or romantic attraction himself. He holds no judgement or scorn for Thyme. Only some mild disappointment, once he finds himself romantically and sexually attracted to them, that their boundaries prevent him from making them feel as good as they make him feel. He’s the most affectionately reserved amongst all the brothers, which matches Thyme’s speed well.
- Very occasionally mastrubates to thoughts of Thyme (with permission). Can become aroused when being touched intimately. Rarely acts upon it.
- Acts like an emotionally distant partner when in public, but is very sweet and loyal in private.
Mammon: At first he doesn’t understand. How can someone not fall in love or want sex? You’re 100% kidding? Right?? Eventually, with the combined efforts of Thyme and Asmo (mostly Asmo, given that Thyme was too embarrassed to say much), they educate him on the terminology and he kind of gets it. Enough to respect Thymes boundaries, and to negotiate a partnership between the two of them where they’re both comfortable. He already has everything they could give him, he’s fine if it’s minus sex. “Ah well, you like what you like and you don’t what you don’t. Don’t let anyone stop ya from being yourself, even if it’s me!”
- Still mastrubates, especially to thoughts of Thyme, (with permission).
- Treats Thyme like he’s their boyfriend with no expectations for reciprocity.
Leviathan: Is more familiar with the human concepts of the LGBTQ community due to watching so much Yuri anime, but similar to Mammon is Allo af and needed a primer on AroAce basics. The knowledge that Thyme doesn’t feel attracted to ANYONE actually satisfies his intense jealousy issues, even if you aren’t attracted to him, at least you’re not attracted to anyone else! Used to being a “gross otaku virgin” for millennia anyways, being in a partnership with Thyme wasn’t much different sexually speaking. He’d just jerk off to mental images of them in private (with permission) and be a loving partner the rest of the time. GG EZ!
- Honestly jerks off pretty often, he can’t help it, he thinks Thyme’s hot!
- Acts more like a best friend than anything most of the time, but likes to mark them in public to satiate his envy.
Satan: Ever since he was “born” he’d never felt any romantic or sexual feelings for anyone. Not until Thyme came into his life at least. That’s when stirrings of romantic feelings began to swim in his mind, heart and soul. He’s more than fine not having sexual relations with Thyme, finding the act unpleasant anyways. He’ll stick to reading about it in his romance novellas and leave it there. Overall, probably the best match up.
- Has never and will never touch himself. Feels no need to.
- Big boyfriend energy. Loves one-on-one dates and holding hands and kissing foreheads.
Asmodeus: For many, many years thought of himself as Aromantic. Oh yeah, this guy knows his terms. Hanging out with the crowds he does, he’s up to date with queer human terminology. He was the one to help explain Thyme’s gender identity to the other brothers after all. But when it comes to them, those heart pounding, dry mouthed, sweaty handed moments happen all too often for him to consider himself anything other than Demiromantic. In fact, he falls so in love with Thyme that he find himself no longer turned on by anyone else, not for a lack of trying, exclusively becoming attracted to them. They work it out eventually, developing a similar dynamic that Thyme has with Levi.
- Despite trying not to, once he falls for Thyme, he finds himself Thymesexual. He becomes disgusted with himself for attempting to continue his casual flings once he discovers he loves Thyme more than he loves himself.
- Girlfriend energy if we’re being honest here. Loves slumber parties and dress ups and drinking from the same mug in cafes. Craves acknowledgment and intimacy.
Beelzebub: He’s had crushes in the past, with little blips of sexual attraction, but nothing like what Thyme stirs up inside of him. Beel has never reacted so strongly to someone before, so when Asmo explained to him that Thyme was incapable of returning his affections, he at first was hurt. Did they not like him? Was he too much? Was he too little? Where did he go wrong?! It took a few comparisons to food to have him understand the situation but once he did, he didn’t know why he freaked out in the first place. Honestly? Nothing was going to change between them and he was already happy with their current relationship dynamics anyways. Things were pretty great actually.
- Mastrubates when pent up or can’t sleep. Half of the time thinks of nothing, half of the time it’s Thyme.
- Big brother energy for the most part, but loves tender kisses and weirdly enough, licking them.
Belphegor: Didn’t know what he was capable of until he met Thyme. Romantically, sexually, homicidally…Affected by a rare genetic condition amongst demons, turning him basically into the worlds worst Yandere when first seeing Thyme, he wanted anything Thyme was willing to give. Even if it meant that he would never be able to act out on his new and unexplored sexuality in anything other than fantasies. As long as Thyme stays with him, he’d do anything for them, even stay celibate if they so wished.
- New to sexual feelings and, unlike Satan, will act upon them in private.
- Very casual in public but hyper affectionate in private or in front of his brothers. Show off.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me yandere#obey me mc#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#very very self indulgent#I know OCs aren’t everyone’s cup of tea#but I hope that Thyme vibes with at least a few of you#especially those that are aroace too
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Hi, it’s sorts of my first time posting something like this but well. I feel like I need to talk about it. So; I’m (legally) almost an adult now and I never had a crush on anyone. Ever. Not a “proper” one that is, not the kind other people tell me they had/have. I honestly don’t even really known what is a crush exactly, and it’s a bit of a thorn in my side. I only recently discovered that I’m very likely not allo and while it’s great to know, I still feel like an impostor whenever I talk about my queerness, since I don’t know any other queer ppl irl who share my experiences. I went through not exactly pleasant encounters with men in my life, and I was always a bit afraid of them. In connection to that, there’s always a tiny voice in the back of my head suggesting I could crush on men if I tried hard enough or made myself allow it in any way. At some point I did believe that, but now that I’ve worked some stuff out I know that it’s not how it works. Feeling of disgust and fear doesn’t equal attraction. I know people that were faced with much shittier actions from men then what I went through and they still had crushes on some of them. I always loved the idea of being with a women, my perfect fantasy was to move with my wife to a forest, and spend hours just reading books to each other, kissing, dancing, listening to music, going on walks. Being with a girl seemed the most natural for me when I was a kid and when I became an older teen. And I am romantically and aesthetically attracted to women in my understanding of what attraction is, but when I find out what other people actually feel when it comes to having a crush I don’t understand it at all. Whenever I am attracted to someone it’s just a little fantasy, and not an urge to do anything. And if I befriend those people attraction fades away. Whenever someone actually offers a relationship or anything similar to it I get a huge rush of anxiety. A big part of me wants to accept that it’ll likely stay the same throughout my life, and I won’t feel attraction that my allo friends describe, but because of my experiences I’m always scared that I’m wrong, so I can’t claim that part of my identity yet, unless I’m 101% sure. Does anyone relate? I can talk about it with my friends, but none of them go through anything remotely close to it, so I was hoping that maybe I’m not alone with it out there, in the community.
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StoryTime: How I found out I was Aromantic along with being Asexual.
So, I was in a relationship with a long time friend of mine. When we started dating, I already knew at that point that I was Asexual (not Aromantic, maybe a story for another time). So, when this "friend" of mine confessed, I agreed. I had various "crushes" throughout my life, and so I was sure that I could feel romantic attraction.
Fast forward a few months, we hadn't seen each other for a few months due to lockdown. Cool. We were chatting over text, video calls, voice messages, all that jazz. One thing that I had noticed though, was that he had started writing explicit texts sometimes. At first I ignored them, and when it didn't stop, I made sure to come out to him repeatedly, emphasizing the fact that I was, in fact, a sex-repulsed Ace.
The texts reduced, but never fully stopped. Eventually, I started to go along with it, thinking that if I didn't, then it would be the end of our relationship. So a few more months into this, he starts saying "stuff" over the phone, obviously expecting a reply. He dubbed those conversations between us my "awkward silences", because that is what they were. Awkward silences because I didn't know what to say.
Sometimes, I even replied. Tried saying things that made me uncomfortable to keep the relationship going. This kept going for a while. His explicit messages and conversations kept increasing and I kept either ignoring them or forcing myself to answer in a similar manner. (Still thought I liked him then.)
One day, after about 2 years of our "relationship", I was talking to a friend who was in a relationship. She and another boy in my class were a cute couple. I was teasing her about how I saw "literal flowers bloom" around them whenever they were together. She asked me about my boyfriend which I, without realising, answered with a disgusted face and told her about.
When I mentioned that I hadn't seen him in over 2 years, she looked shocked and said that she would never be able to do it. I, in a moment of vulnerability and frustration, complained about how I thought this whole "romantic relationship" thing was overrated. I said that I could understand why it was so hard for allos but for me, someone not interested in romance, it was kind of a relief that I don't meet him. (Realisation 1) The other person, bless them, comforted me and supported me (because I had accidentally come out to her.) She promised me she wouldn't tell anyone else and hasn't to this day.
Later in the day, I was talking to my best friend when we started chatting about how I didn't like romance. My friend, who had caught into what it might mean, started questioning me. Showed me videos, searched the net with me, and asked me questions. She told me repeatedly that I probably was Aromantic, but I ignored her.
That night, I didn't sleep. I kept thinking of what I wanted from this "relationship" of mine and if I was even happy and comfortable. I just couldn't imagine myself doing anything romantic with my boyfriend or anyone else.
My boyfriend and I finally went on a date, after things started opening up. All day, I was uncomfortable, with his advances, and my constant thought that I was not Aromantic.
When I did come to terms with the fact that I was Aromantic, I started searching for if there were exceptions to this. If I could still like someone. I was in denial of the fact that I could have a "made-up" romantic love for my boyfriend. (I had enjoyed us being together when we were friends so it didn't make sense to me.)
To make a long story short, it took nights of crying, days of guilt, and finally my best friend talking to me for three hours, to make me face the fact I am Aromantic. Aroace to be exact, with absolutely no interest in any romantic or sexual relationships. It then took three more weeks for me to break up with my boyfriend, and we are still not on speaking terms. The guilt that I basically lead him on for two years still eats away at me.
Conclusion: If my surroundings had not been so romance and sex focused, with more awareness and support towards Aromantism and Asexuality, then I could have saved my ex-boyfriend (now probably ex-friend too) a lot of hurt, and saved myself two years of my life that I spent trying to deny my orientation and all the discomfort and pain that came with it. The media needs more representation for Asexual and Aromantic people, whether someone is one or the other, or both.
My ex-boyfriend and I are still not on speaking terms right now, and I fear I have lost a great friend for good. I never blamed him for not understanding my discomfort either because I didn't understand it myself. The only thing I would blame him for is the fact that he did not back off when I said no (though he never did anything physically without my consent).
What I want to say is, don't feel like you have to pretend to be in a successful relationship, because that won't be a "relationship" at all. Be who you are, whether Aromantic or Asexual, or both. I personally know many people who would pretend like I did and waste their lives away.
I understand. I do. And that is why, I will say, that you need to accept who you are. If you don't feel like hugging someone (I am touch averse as well) then don't. If you don't want to have explicit conversations then don't. If you want to watch Netflix in nothing but comfy clothes while stuffing yourself with garlic bread and cake, do it! Want to hug and kiss people platonically? Do it!
Don't let lack of representation and others' unnecessary opinions make you repress your true self. I will forever be grateful for my friend who saw through my denial, and sorry to my ex-boyfriend who I am sure I hurt more than once.
If this helps even a single person, it will have been worth sharing <3 Proud of and love all of you LGBTQIA+ folks.
Happy pride month!🌈 💜💜💜🖤🖤🖤🌈
#ace pride#asexuality#pride month#aromantic#aromantism#story time#representation#aro pride#aroace#happy pride 🌈#ace inclusion#queer pride#queer writers#lgbtq community#lgbtpeople#lgbtq#lgbtqiia+
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The Alienation of being a Filipino Aro
There's a kind of cultural alienation that comes with growing up aromantic and no I'm not just talking about how most aros and arospecs would note experience relationships the same way an allo person would.
I'm talking about an isolation away from community and culture that becomes apparent when you really sit down and think about it. A sort of disconnect from your community not for the fault of your own but just by the mere fact that most of society didn't even know you could possibly exist.
I'm Filipino. In the Philippines, romance is an inseparable part of culture. It's not only liked by many as a concept and theme in their stories and discussions, but it's put on a pedestal. It's a pedestal that I could never achieve.
Most media references romance to some capacity. Children's media would have a lot of focus and emphasis on a romantic subplot even if that shouldn't be the main focus of the story. TV shows for adults, even if it should have little to do with romance like game shows, would make references to romance as a universal thing.
Despite the Philippines being one of the top producers of movies, you'd probably have a hard time finding anything that isn't romance save for the few horror films and the occasional comedies and action movies that constitute maybe about 3 movies a year out of the dozens made by the industry. Even indie films have a huge focus on love, romance, and relationships with the extremely few being dramas that drag or depressed the audience. Don't get me started about how 99% of music is about love and loss.
Outside of media, Filipinos are extremely romantic and not just exclusively with their partners. PDA is everywhere and is even encouraged. It is not uncommon to see students at school holding hands and cuddling on campus being tolerated and even celebrated as long as they don't kiss in front of a teacher. This would be fine if people weren't force to participate in it.
From early on in elementary school, children would exchange gifts during Christmas as they sing out loud "I love my Monito/Monita, yes I do!" as they play secret santa, with gifts exchange between kids of two different genders being met with typical romantic teasing. It's a pretty common question in playground discussions to ask who your crush is and if you didn't had an answer, you would be called a liar if they don't outright call you weird.
Friendships with someone who isn't your own gender (heck even friendships with someone who is of the perceived same gender too) are often met with romantic teasing and ceaseless inquiry. Even people you've only talked to once, without any indication of goodwill, or even positivity, gets you years of teasing and harassment from school boys that think they're being cute. Some of these people even thought it appropriate to drag me into a "chain booth" where they would tie me up with another boy in class just to tease me. The fact that this is seen as something romantic let alone acceptable is beyond disgusting.
Even adults push this narrative of romance and relationships to the point that you probably couldn't last a single day in school without teachers talking about the woes of romance and love to try to seem hip with the kids. Poetry nights arranged by language arts club are filled with desperate cries about their beloved and love that could never be which extends not only to the artistic events of the month, but even just the casual school-wide assembly. Poems that portray the unresponsive as a bad guy, as the heartless who dares not return affection. It was all alienating.
What happens to a person whose entire existence is not seen and not only not seen but dismissed entirely by the community? What happens to a person who can't find themselves in their own local media? To the person who can't relate to their community and peers? To the person being pressured to desire something that doesn't make sense to them? To the person being forced to be something they're not? All by their community and culture?
It's different for everyone, but in my case, I looked to somewhere else.
I found comfort in foreign media that didn't feel like it was talking down at me for not pursuing romance. I found comfort in English communities that didn't harass me and forced me to conform to an idealized romance. I found comfort in a place foreign, outside of the Filipino culture that does not have room for people like me.
This has made me avoid a lot of Filipino media, discussions, and communities even online. Why should I seek out a place that would fundamentally misunderstand me? That would alienate me and make me feel unhuman just as it did while I was growing up? That would pressure me to do things against my will?
It was empowering to find a community outside the community. It was as if I had found a secret club that understood me more than the people I knew for literal years. It was welcoming and warm and nice. Until things felt... off.
I look at this new community, this community away from community and realize something that has been bugging me for a good few months now.
This place also feels alien.
Discussions here may not revolve around a constant stream of love, romance, relationships, and heartbreak, but they are in a language spoken that's foreign to me. Not that the words being typed in English is the problem, no, even the shows back home speak loads of the language. It was something else.
The discourse was alien. The discourse was American.
Most of the discussions and the media around being aro places it squarely in the west. I've noticed that I even try to lessen my Filipino-ness at times when I would discuss my aro experiences despite the two being quite intertwined. I felt a bit of embarrassment just even thinking of bringing it up since it felt out of place. This didn't feel like the appropriate time to discuss this, but if not now, then when?
Discord servers, although international, are mostly filled with American aros and if not Europeans. Major blogs and resources are run by westerners who primarily discuss western issues and discourse. Those that try to cater to a more general discussion about aromanticism feels hollow as culture and community is stripped to its very basics to avoid alienating everyone else.
Now I'm typing this all out to reflect in it further. I'm still at this awkward place in figuring out how to handle these ideas. The reality that I'm not truly a part of my Filipino culture as someone aromantic, and the reality that I'm a foreigner to the aromantic community as a Filipino still messes with my brain.
I want to be clear, this is no one's direct fault. It is definitely more of an issue that a person only encounters when they don't fit the larger culture's idea of the standard, whether it be being an alloromantic Filipino or a western aro. I am not calling for all of the aro community to make space for me specifically just because I feel weird and awkward as a Filipino and I'm not calling on all Filipinos to keep checking on their amatonormativity just because I can't relate with their gushy romance.
Either way, I guess I have to try my best to create spaces for myself and open the discussion on both sides. Maybe I would finally start to feel less alien in my own skin.
#mayaposts#aromantic#aro#arospec#philippines#filipino#amatonormativity#filipino aro#queer#lgbtqia+#long post
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As an acespec person who is likely some kind of arospec too, Alastor ships give me mixed feelings.
Like, I'm extremely uncomfortable with people really sexualizing Alastor, especially in art. It feels...gross. At the same time, I see people staunchly against people shipping Alastor in any way that's not platonic, which...makes me frustrated.
Look, he is canonically ace, but 1. asexuality has levels, 2. Alastor has no idea what ace means, and 3. words are stupid.
I had no idea I was nonbinary or ace as a kid. I knew how I felt, but I thought it was within the range of "normal". I thought I was "just a person" and "a romantic". I thought I was "picky", and that's why everyone was having crushes while I was chill by myself or with friends. I thought maybe I was scared at the idea of being that vulnerable with someone as someone with anxiety, trust issues, and who grew up falling asleep to Law and Order SVU. And I'm a Zillenial.
Alastor is from a whole other century, in a much more repressive society. If I today needed the internet to figure out that my experience is abnormal and there's a word for it, back when the internet wasn't a thing and queer circles were trying to hide from sight, how the fuck is he gonna know? Especially when he loathes seemingly anything that's past his time, which the concept isn't but the term is as is the way he might find out about it. Fuck, we know he doesn't know what ace means.
He also has no reason to seek out an answer. I wasn't looking when I found my answers. I stumbled upon people who shared experiences who had words that clicked with me. Hell, it'd be easier to think it's normal with how much "waiting until marriage" has been historically pushed. He doesn't know there's even something to look for.
In all likelihood, he thought the "right person" might come along someday, but he also had other priorities and didn't care if he found them or not. Why would I go searching for a love I may never find when I can spend my time focusing on my career, dancing with friends, and plotting various murders? That sounds like a lot more fun and a more effective use of time, wouldn't you agree?
And look, in general "finding the right person" isn't a "cure" for asexuality anyway. Except it can look like that on the surface if someone is anything other than 100% sex-repulsed asexual. And (allos writing aces don't seem to know this) sex-repulsion can also be very spectrum-y too, and actively fluctuate.
I'm demisexual, and would actually consider myself sex-repulsed. I have never liked viewing sexual images or videos, it makes me borderline nauseous. I absolutely will not read pure smut. The concept of engaging in sexual activity myself makes me cringe. To me, sex generally brings to mind too much physical contact and gross bodily fluids. I'm disgusted by even getting other peoples' sweat on me. I'm okay listening to friends talk about their interactions only to a limited extent--I need to be able to have distance and not be given extreme detail.
But if I think about someone I actually like, or if I'm reading a story that has had a buildup in the relationship, it's...nice. It's a very different experience. It seems less like too much touch and gross bodily fluids and more like intimacy. It's...I'd almost call it pleasant? It's hard to describe, but it's a complete shift in mindset depending on circumstances. Most of my inherent reflexive disgust just goes away.
There's a chance Alastor could be like that. He is, quite clearly, some kind of sex-repulsed (thank you Angel Dust) but that doesn't completely block him out of sexual interest. But Angel is...excessive about that side of his personality. And that could be part of why the repulsion seems so strong with him. There are levels of tolerance. I can watch Hazbin Hotel and Angel Dust, but I can't comfortably watch Helluva Boss because the first episode Stolas is...very explicit. It's just too uncomfortable for me to sit through. (this also isn't a judgement of whether it's a good show or not, it's just not for me)
And even if Alastor doesn't experience attraction, he could still have sexual engagement with someone for other reasons. I don't think we have solid confirmation that he's aro, but even then that is again a spectrum and Alastor has no inkling on the concept.
He could involve himself in sex because he has romantic feelings for someone and that outweighs his disgust. Or perhaps even intense platonic feelings, disconnecting the act of sex from romance entirely. QPPs can do anything they want and honestly I feel like those labels are super blurry anyways, because what denotes an action as romantic or sexual or platonic besides intent and perception? Like, friends can cuddle, happy lovers can sleep in separate beds, people joke about kissing the homies good night. Words are messy and nothing matters.
He could also use it as a manipulation tactic. Because if there's one thing we know about Alastor, it's that he's a manipulative little shit. And while the reward would need to be extremely high, I could see Alastor using someone's attraction to him against them in that way. Why would he not use every tool at his disposal?
And from personal experience, a lot of writing in the fandom is through the lens of Alastor being non-sex-repulsed asexual, or otherwise demi- or greysexual. And while I could definitely use more fluidity in the sex-repulsion category (cuz unfortunately a lot of people write it as either completely repulsed or not repulsed whatsoever), at least a good number of people are trying to be respectful. Just because they ship Alastor with someone doesn't mean they are being disrespectful or casting aside his orientation by default.
And while Alastor being enthusiastic about it is extremely ooc and I hate that with my very soul, people are allowed to play with fictional characters how they want to. They aren't real. Neither are the Barbies whose faces you smashed together as a kid. They aren't actively hurting real people, and don't necessarily think differently of real ace people.
I'm aware that I may be projecting my sexuality onto Alastor given that he has shown sex-repulsion that I relate to. Maybe I think the idea of him being romantically involved with someone is cute. Maybe I don't mind the idea of him doing sexual things for love or other personal gain like power or control. But who the fuck am I hurting by doing that? Who is anyone hurting by doing that?
And dude, you're watching a show about redeeming sinners, showing that some of the worst people can change and puritanical people are irrationally judgemental asshats. Someone portraying an ace character as not 100% sex-repulsed is a weird line to draw there.
If you're a 100% sex repulsed asexual who's uncomfortable with people shipping Alastor, that's perfectly fine. But not every asexual completely shares your experience, and life itself is uncomfortable. And for better or worse that isn't going to change. I suggest you simply avoid engaging as much as you can for your own peace of mind if nothing else. Blocking tags and accounts is actually great for that. Someone doesn't have to be a dick for you to block them, and you won't have to see their content anymore. Tumblr Savior is a helpful tool too.
This is my very longwinded way of saying just because Alastor is aroace doesn't mean he can't be in a romantic-coded relationship, a qpp that isn't specifically stated to be such, or engage in sexual acts. And writing him ooc is icky but also completely fine and people can do what they want.
#Hazbin Hotel#Alastor the Radio Demon#asexuality#so many words#why can I not write anything but fucking essays
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Hello, I'm bisexual and trying to get an honest answer.
I'm pretty heavily in the aro/aspec community on Tumblr. Partially bc I'm low libido and was questioning asexuality in myself, mostly bc my partner is aroace and it helps me understand them better.
I see a lot of posts by aro/aspec people venting about amatonormativity, and the things they find weird or gross. Which I think is innocent enough. Although recently I've been coming across these vents where people will talk about how allos themselves are disgusting and weird. For an example, there was one talking about how allos will undress people they're attracted to in their heads. There was a specific tag saying "It's like they're violating the person in their head". For me, it was extremely hurtful, as it's part of my sexual experience to fantasize. It kind of feels like that it's not just the acts that are weird or gross to ace people, but the allo people are also perceived as gross.
I vented my frustration to my partner and they tried to explain it to me, why ace people making comments like that is okay. But I'm still confused. I feel like if there's people trying to find out other peoples' experience on asexuality, seeing comments like that could be harmful, and make them feel ashamed for their feelings.
Again, I just want to understand better. I'm willing to read links, too, if you have any.
I totally agree with you actually, I think we (as acespec people) need to be really careful about the way we talk about attraction and allosexual (especially queer allosexual) people, because there's a very slippery slope that some of those people are on and sex negativity is especially harmful within the queer community.
I've made posts before about sex negativity in the ace community which I'm sure have been lost to the sands of tumblr (will link if I find them), but I think you're completely correct, it's not true that ace people can say whatever they want about sex and sexual attraction being gross or disgusting or inherently bad or violating. There's a line between sex repulsion and sex negativity, and there's a line between "I think sex is gross so I don't want to do it" and "I think sex is gross and so are the people who have it", or "I feel uncomfortable with people fantasising about me" and "People should not have sexual fantasies about other people".
I genuinely would recommend blocking people like that, because if you are allo you're unfortunately probably not gonna change their minds and honestly, if it's a bigger blog their opinions on other important topics that they may post about are probably not going to be particularly sophisticated either.
I hope this helps, anon, and I'm sorry I've had to deal with people's ignorant takes.
- mod key
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I'm about to start BG2, which of the 3 paths for the Xan mod do you think is most in character for him?
well it's the same author as his mod for bg1, so they should all be in character for him, right…? 😒
idk. with the way i prefer to read him, i would guess that the friendship path is the least infuriating, and then his bonded romance, and then his nonbonded romance. i haven't even played his friendship path in bg2, but his romance paths are just. urgh.
his bonded romance has too many opportunities for sex at the expense of actually being able to talk to him, and the times you do get to talk to him, more material than i'd like is recycled from the first game bc of charname's possible amnesia, which detracts from any sense of familiarity/intimacy that the few rare good interactions with him provide. i guess one could consider this path to be in character if you think he's allo and was just too depressed to be super horny in bg1, but bg1 easily let me read him as acespec (his colors are literally purple and gray and he'll only enter a full romance during the timeline of the game if you're able to bond with him in a way that transcends any physical intimacy?? it writes itself) and it's like he stopped being fully himself once bg2 rolled around. another thing i hate is he has moments where you can literally step all over his boundaries, and even if he does speak up against you, you can still demand that he do it, and he'll just do it against his will. sure "devotion" and whatever, but that's not his brand of devotion--it used to be that if you willfully crossed his boundaries, he'd just end the interaction
his nonbonded romance is... it's just kind of tough to get through. the premise is "there was a spark but it was never followed through on," but it kind of assumes that charname broke things off in bg1 (even though it could've just as easily been xan who broke it off, depending on how you played), so it's more like "xan still has feelings for you and flirts with you but he's also disgusted and horrified by you so he holds you at arm's length the whole game." also he never dies in this path, he only dies in the original bonded path, so they're basically saying he gets to live if you just reject him in the first game and change your mind in the second and let him treat you badly until he apologizes and then all is well forever. like??? there's a convo later down the line where you can comment on how absolutely difficult it was to get to this point where he actually openly loves you, and one of the options is "well the difficulty makes getting here worth it," and to that i say no, absolutely not. what makes this path even worse is that you also get more Xan Lore (tm) here than in the bonded path--there's a whole story he tells that you never get to hear otherwise, and his lengthy apology for treating you badly had more thought put into it than most of the conversations in the bonded path. not to be like "it's so unfair :'((" but to be a bg1 xan romancer and not get an equivalent amount of thought put into him in the bonded path?? am i being punished for loving him too early???
i get the feeling that the author was trying to replicate the drama of his romance path in bg1, to make him just as "difficult" to love, but i didn't find him difficult in bg1 at all--he's just traumatized and fearful of loss, and thinks himself that he's difficult to love. his appeal in bg1 was his compassion and understanding and sorrow for the unfair situation charname is in--and now you're telling me that he's become part of that unfairness? sure, he didn't know she was a bhaalspawn for most of bg1, but he saw how she suffered, and has traveled with her long enough to know and respect her as a person. after his first knee-jerk reaction of horror, wouldn't he change his mind rather quickly? having him be genuinely apprehensive abt charname being a bhaalspawn in his bg2 nonbonded romance path walks that backwards and actively undermines his bonded romance path. in the nonbonded path, he says outright that he would be ok with charname being a bhaalspawn if they were already bonded, which isn't a great look bc it comes off as either "i can only find it in my heart to be ok with you if i'm literally chained to you" or "maybe if you didn't end my romance early in bg1 i wouldn't be disgusted by you now". what exactly is good about hearing that???
like props to the author for finding a way to make him involved in the plot and accessible to new players, but 90% of my gripes come from the allowances made to make that possible. he doesn't need an arc, or a storyline, or to be involved in the plot, he should just be in the sequel to hang out
tl;dr, take the friendship path, or even better don't recruit him at all. yes, i personally can't bring myself to play anything but the bonded romance path in bg2 bc it makes me sad to not be special to him in-game, but you! you can be free! friendzone him and have a stronger will than i!
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Sorry if this comes of as rude, but do you ever feel like there's a lot of hatred for romance favorable people in the aro community? I'm both arospec and acespec and sometimes feel like I'm faking being aro because I'm romo favorable. Ace spaces have a lot more positivity for sex favorable acespecs, but aro spaces kinda feel super hostile to romo favorable arospecs. As if me liking romance is disgusting and a betrayal to most aros. Idk it just doesn't feel right when people who are fully aro attack the ace community for being "sex-negative" (which is untrue and acespecs exist) and then turn around and shit on arospecs for liking romance. People preach a lot about how 'aromantic' is a spectrum, but sometimes it feels like romo-repulsed fully aromantics are the only valid kind of aros and us romo favorable aro-specs are frauds. That kind of sentiment is exactly what kept me from identifying as arospec, it was the ace community that made me feel like i can be a valid aspec even if I'm favorable. I kinda really want the aro community to get rid of the weird bias against aces and even more than that I want the aro community to genuinely accept aro-spec people. It's literally helping no one and isolating fellow aspecs. (Sorry if this is offensive to non-ace aros as I'm acespec as well as arospec. That's genuinely not my intention. I'm just venting my frustrations as a fellow aromantic person)
Hello anon, thanks for confiding in me :)
I'm a romance-indifferent alloaro myself, so to be honest I'm not sure if I'm the best person to vent to? However I can speak to you as someone who used to ID as aroace, and has been in aro, as well as ace spaces respectively for a while now.
I personally haven't come across any aros showing blatant animosity towards those who are romance favorable? Once again, I'll admit my personal attitude toward romance might make me a bit blind to noticing such interactions.
So I wouldn't use the word hatred. Inattentiveness? 100%.
By no means do I want to one-up you, or invalidate your experience, because I do get where you're coming from. The ace community as a whole isn't sex-negative though, but I think I'd be lying if I said sex-negative rhetoric isn't very rampant in ace spaces. You'd be surprised, aces saying "sex is gross, why would allos even engage in something that disgusting" and anything along those lines are very easy to find, sadly. But I digress.
I definitely wish romance-favorable aros, but especially arospecs (greyro's, demi's, cupioro's, etc.) who experience romantic attraction, had more space to talk about their relationship with romance and the like, without you guys feeling like you're "breaking the aro code" or "betraying the aro community."
There's no right way to be aro; we're a spectrum, with an array of experiences shared among us. I hate the fact that those differences have to be points of conflict.
I'm sorry to you, other romance-favorable aros and arospecs who feel like, or have been told that they're not aro enough because of their personal relationship with romance and/or romantic attraction. No one should shun you for it, and anyone who does straight up doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about, and need a time-out; that shit isn't helping anyone.
I hope I got my point across? I wasn't as attentive of issues like these as I should've been, but I'll try to be more conscious going forward, so thank you.
-Y.
#🧙🏾♀️'s answers#aromantic#aro#arospec#aromanticism#ace#asexual#acespec#aspec#romance favorable#queer#lgbtqia+
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Pined post, this will be updated whenever necessary.
Last update: January 25th 2023.
This blog is run by @rjalker My pronouns are it/its.
Rules and other info are below the cut! Read this post before submitting a prompt :)
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Along with submitting prompts, if you tag me in art, as long as it doesn't violate the rules, I'll reblog it here! Art of Murderbot will be tagged "Murderbotart"
Submission rules, in no real order
0)) if you think shipping incest or pedophilia is okay, leave, now. Your actions are disgusting and you are not welcome here. This includes between adopted family members.
1)) I highly recommend you type out your prompts in an LibreOffice document or similar word program before submitting it, in case tumblr crashes while you're on the submission page, or if I delete it by accident while trying to post it.
2)) If you submit a prompt here, you can of course also post it to your own blog. You can also post it to your blog, and then @ me to reblog it here.
3)) If you want to submit a prompt anonymously, you can submit it like normal, and note at the top that you want it to be anonymous. I'll copy and paste it into a new post. (You used to be able to open tumblr in a private browser and submit anonymously that way, but I think they've made it so you have to be logged in now in 2024...who knows when that'll change again though.)
4)) Include a name for your prompt when you submit it! This will make it easier to find them later. It can be a simple descriptive name like "Murderbot gets lost in the mall" or something.
5))Please include proper paragraph breaks. I have to be able to read your prompt before it can b published. Not including paragraph breaks will make this take three times as long.
6)) I will be editing prompts submitted, usually to help clarify confusing language or to add paragraph breaks if the submitter doesn't add them in themselves.
7)) If you aren't okay with your prompt being edited before it gets posted, post it to your own blog instead, and then @ me to reblog it.
If a prompt violates the rules in an easily fixable way, I'll edit the prompt to follow the rules.
If a prompt violates the rules in a way that can't be fixed, it'll just be scrapped, and I'll post an explanation of what it did wrong and how to fix it in the future, without naming names.
Unless you're purposefully being malicious, in which case you'll just get blocked and I will warn other people to block you for their own safety.
8)) No shipping Murderbot with anyone, in any way, unless it canonically starts a relationship with someone in the books. It's not anymore okay to erase canon Queer representation when it's representing nonpartnering, everything-repulsed aroace people than if it were representing anyone else.
If Murderbot were canonically an allo lesbian, and you wouldn't want people to erase that, then don't erase that it's aroace and doesn't want any kind of relationship.
9)) No erasing Murderbot's solitaremity, which is a form of touch aversion where not only do you not enjoy touch, you also do not crave it or get "touch starved". Unless Murderbot in the books canonically starts explicitly seeking out and enjoying touch for the pure joy of it, then you need to respect that it is solitaremit. Real solitaremit people exist, and we deserve to see ourselves represented in fiction too.
Touch aversion is a disability, and it's no more okay to magically cure it or sweep it under the rug than it would be to cure Murderbot's very clear autism.
10)) No whitewashing characters OR assuming white people are the default. Just because someone's skin tone isn't described doesn't mean they're white. If you think it does, you're just racist. The only characters you can depict as white on this blog are those who are clearly described as white, like the GrayCris Agent from book 4.
He is in fact literally the only example of a clearly white character in this series so far.
I know, because I was keeping track the first, second, third, and fourth time I've read this series. This, like many things, is an established pattern in Martha Wells' writing.
It is extremely intentional that the only blatantly white character in this series so far is the capitalist pig who is holding a Black woman hostage.
I promise you it won't kill you to draw or describe people of color. You will not be harmed by fighting against the "white people are the default" that is in your head.
11)) No NSFW even if it doesn't involve Murderbot. There are kids in this fandom, I want them to feel welcome here, and I don't wan to see it either. Post it to your own blog and tag it appropriately.
12)) No super graphic or gratuitous violence. It's okay to go beyond what's described in the books (or, I should say, not described at all), but don't be excessive about it.
13)) Original characters are more than welcome!
14)) All human AUs will not be allowed. Murderbot does not want to be human. Turning it into a human anyways is just insulting.
15)) Other AUs that likewise remove Murderbot's constructed status to make it wholly organic will also be dismissed. That's just lazy and uncreative.
16)) No prompts revolving around Christian holidays. I'm tired of it, and you can't convince me any of the main characters are Christian. You just can't. Post it to your own blog.
17)) No misgendering Murderbot unless it's to show that the character / entity misgendering it is a bad person.
Example: A random jackass misgendering Murderbot is fine, as long as it's properly portrayed as that person being a jackass. (Yes, even if it's written from the jackass's POV and they think they're a good person. It's very easy to show that the narrator is not correct even when they think they are).
You writing a whole prompt and referring to Murderbot with they/them, he/him, or she/her pronouns is misgendering and not allowed. If you do this, it will be corrected the first time. If you do it multiple times, you will just be blocked. You get once chance, and that's it.
18)) No headcannoning Murderbot as being binary trans. Why do I even have to say this. Go somewhere else if you hate nonbinary people that much.
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Prompts can be as long as you want, but should be at least a good sized paragraph at minimum, not just a single sentence or two.
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You can submit art as a prompt or for a prompt, as long as it follows the rules above and:
A)) Murderbot's face must not be shown (it puts in a lot of effort to hide its face as often as possible, we should respect that!). Get creative with it. There are a lot of fun ways to accomplish this.
B)) Murderbot must not be whitewashed or light-washed.
Its skin color in the official art is very dark brown, with black hair.
The image below shows the shade of its skin tone taken from official art. The background color, and the box in the middle, are the main shade, and then it is shown being affected by light and shadow.
Lighting can be more dramatic or stylized with different colors, but the brightest lighting in the world isn't going to turn a black or brown person white or pink. Do not desaturate its skin either to make it grey.
Look up tutorials on how to properly draw dark skin if you need to, there are many that people kindly make for free here on tumblr.
[ID: A simple digital drawing of a hand, with a small pale orange sun next to it as a source of light. The art has a border of light orange in the same shade as the little sun, with black outlines, and the background is dark brown.
Five rectangular boxes are at the top of the screen, showing a simple gradient from warm brown to darker brown, with the the middle box the baseline, which is also the background color. The furthest left box is the lightest, the furthest right is the darkest.
The shades are placed on the simple drawing of the hand, with the brightest color used to highlight the part closest to the little sun, with the second brightest forming a larger part of the lighting, then the baseline, with the darkest color on the opposite side of the arm and fingers that are in shade, with the softer shading taking up most of the shadowed parts.
End ID.]
C)) Murderbot cannot be drawn stick thin and skinny. It's literally designed to be physically powerful and kill people and things. It is not skinny.
D)) Try to include an image description for your art whenever possible. If you do not include one, I will have to create one before it is published, so it will take longer to publish, depending on how complicated the image is.
Memes will be allowed, as long as they don't violate any of the other rules.
As long as your fics follow all the rules, you can also submit full fics here for people to read, as long as each chapter individually isn't too long to fit in a single post. Say whether or not it's okay for people to use your fics as writing prompts.
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All prompts will be tagged:
Murderbotwritingprompts
Murderbot writing prompts
TMBD writing prompts
The Murderbot Diaries
if you want to filter them.
"blogrunner prompt" will indicate prompts created by me
"submitted prompt" will indicate prompts submitted by others
You may request specific tags to be added to your own prompts, like if you're going to be submitting a series of prompts set in the same "universe".
To maybe help keep things ordered, Each prompt will also be given a number in the order it was submitted, no matter who created it, and tagged with that number as "prompt1" "prompt2" ect.
Will this actually help anyone find prompts later? I don't know, I guess we'll see...
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Some common terms and their definitions:
Transmisia
Transmisia is indeed ""transphobia" but minus the "-phobia" suffix, because hating trans people isn't an anxiety disorder like phobias are, and people who do have phobias get treated horribly because people think it means they're bigots when they're not.
The -misia suffix comes from the word "misos" for "hatred", which is also where the word misogyny comes from! Miso-hatred, gyn-women. Misogyny = hatred of women.
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Athiktomisia (link to coining post)
Athiktomisia is bigotry towards people who are touch averse, with athikto translating to, roughly, untouchable or thereabouts,and the -misia suffix like above indicating hatred. Athikto+misia = hatred of those who are untouchable.
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Solitaremit, soliteremity, etcetera (link to coining post)
Solitaremit is a specific form of touch aversion where the person is touch averse, and also does not get ""touch starved"" or have any desire for touch at all, specifically created because many touch averse people who do not get touch starved were being alienated even in touch averse spaces, because desiring touch and being touch starved was still behind held up as normal and universal.
Solitaremity is...uh, the state of being solitaremit. Example sentence: Most people, even those who are otherwise touch averse, don't even know that solitaremity exists.
Solitaremity was created specifically to be a unique word that is brand new, and thus (meant to be) easy to search for and find, combining the words "solitary" and "hermit" for maximum emphasis.
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Solitaremisia
Solitaremisia is, again, the -misia suffix, combined with solitaremit to specify hatred against people who are touch averse who specifically do not desire touch in any way, even with touch starvation. Which is unfortunately a common attitude even in other touch averse people :|
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Gregariable
Gregariable will probably be used at some point, it was created as the counterpart to solitaremit, it means someone who desires touch and gets touch starved, whether or not they're also touch-averse. Aka, 99.99% of people are gregariable. It combines the words "gregarious" and "sociable" to create a unique word so that it would be easy to search for.
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Aroacemisia
Aroacemisia is bigotry against aroace people in particular, again with the -misia suffix to indicate hatred.
Amisia, acemisia, and aromisia are hatred towards aspec people in general, hatred towards asexual people, and hatred towards aro people.
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Exorsexism
Exorsexism is the specific hatred of nonbinary and genderqueer people, which is separate from, but sometimes a part of, transmisia.
Murderbot is nonbinary, so any transmisia it faces is inherently exorsexist.
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It its antagonism
it its antagonism refers to hatred targeted specifically at people who use it/its pronouns, usually always combined with exorsexism. It its antagonism is a form of neopronomisia.
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Neopronomisia
Neopronomisia is hatred of pronouns other than she/her or he/him. This includes but is not limited to pronouns like it/its, te/ter, and they/them.
#Murderbotwritingprompts#Murderbot writing prompts#TMBD writing prompts#The Murderbot Diaries#Blog rules#pinned post#described images
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tw: description of a kind of romantic-ish possibly flirt-ish moment?
i probably should have understood im on the aro spectrum (and probably on the ace spectrum too) when (i even wrote a confession here about it a while ago) i was having a hard time while thinking two of my friends were flirting with me. an episode in particular stuck out to me: once one of those two friends, my bestfriend, for some reason sat on my lap facing me while we were on her bed (without any intentions though). i dont know if you really understand the position but oh well. i felt so uncomfortable that i didnt want to do or touch anything and i even apologised multiple times for my discomfort. and she's known that im very touch repulsed, and have been for a long time, and that it's difficult for me to express any type of affection. though this situation has changed over the past years, bc it was at least for some part due to trauma and personal problems, that position made me SO uncomfortable. i hate being expected anything romantic or sexual and sometimes (which is the case for that episode) i feel very disgusted to the point i feel that my body is dirty and that i've been violated in some way. and i also hate the fact that i cant reciprocate other people's feelings, leading them to feel guilty bc they think i dont trust them enough (which very much isnt the casw here). i guess that, apart from my personal issues, it's not a very normal experience for allo people, right?
#aromantic#asexual#aroace#arospec#acespec#aspec#aroacespec#arose#touch averse#friends#friendship#questioning
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tw homophobia, asking for advice/opinion--
so, i'm bi-asexual, but i'm closeted because my community is very religious and it could be dangerous for me to come out. i know my family are of the opinion that all the lgbt+ deserve no better than death and that we're only disgusting filth.
i have a therapist, and i came out to her a few weeks ago because my sexuality and the panic of being found out is a big part of my anxiety at least, and i needed to be open with her to work things out. i wouldn't like to say that she's aphobic, she said she accepts me and is happy that i told her, but at the same time she constantly says things like "i don't think you can actually be asexual if you've never had sex before", "i personally think you can't call yourself asexual yet".
my relationships with my family members are strained, i guess, because i always have that fear that they'll somehow find out and disown me or even send me to jail or something, so i haven't let myself be close to any of them since i started questioning 4 years ago. my therapist thinks that if i let myself get close to them, they'll love me enough to compromise and accept me in the future whenever they find out. i personally don't think so, but i agreed to at least try and not push them away. [it's a bit more complicated than this because there are also other reasons why i'm afraid of my parents and closed off from my family (trauma? can i use that word? they've hurt me in the past a lot, but not physically) but i am trying my best.]
so i just want another opinion i suppose? my therapist isn't part of the lgbt community herself, so i wonder if changing that factor could give me a different view on this?
also, am i overreacting by being uncomfortable around my therapist? i figure that whenever i come out in the future, i'll face around the same treatment about my sexuality as from her, so i might as well get used to it, but it does feel like she tries to overlook that part of me(?) and insists that family love is above everything and that they will accept me no matter what i think.
-ri
Hey Ri,
I'm so sorry that you're dealing with all of this. It sounds like a lot. I feel for you. Please remember that things won't always be like this, and that one day, you will find people who love and accept you as you are. Being bi and ace is not wrong. You are not deserving of death, you are not disgusting. You have so much inherent value and worth.
It makes sense that you're experiencing anxiety about it, though. A homophobic society makes it incredibly difficult to be comfortable as oneself, but remember that you are not the wrong one, society is.
Sometimes people say they support us, but their beliefs and thoughts contrast this. I would say that it is aphobic to say that someone can't be asexual unless they have had sex before. There is no timeline for figuring out your identity, and straight allo people are not accused of not knowing their orientation until they have had sex.
Even if your family has not harmed you physically, it is possible they abused you. There are many different kinds of abuse, and none are necessarily more valid or traumatizing than others.
While it may be good to not completely shut your family out, you get to decide when and how you do so. You're allowed to have boundaries, and you know your family best. Your therapist may be hoping that your family will treat you well and give you the support you need and deserve, but it sounds like you think otherwise. Again, you know them best, and your safety is essential.
You are absolutely not overreacting. You deserve to have your sexuality and autonomy respected. You know yourself. Even if you do change your labels in the future, that doesn't mean you have to try sex or dating someone in any particular way to justify your labels.
I don't doubt that your family loves you, but they don't understand LGBT+ identities and are clearly harming you due to their beliefs. We can understand why they're like this without saying it's okay. Love is powerful, but love without understanding can have harmful effects.
Yes, some people will react how she did, but I want you to know that many, many people will react with compassion and acceptance. There is a strong LGBT+ community that includes and supports LGBT+ people.
You would be well within your rights to seek out a new therapist. If possible, someone who is part of the LGBT+ community, or someone who explicitly says they are supportive of the LGBT+ community. I don't think your current therapist understands what you're going through when it comes to sexuality. I suggest either communicating that with her or start looking for other therapists and interviewing them. It's totally valid to have a short session with a bunch of different mental health professionals before you decide on one.
Here is a link about choosing a therapist.
Take care!
- Mod Misa
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