I need you guys to realize that "Favorable Aspecs tend to get ostracized from parts of the aspec community because of their favorability towards romance and sex making people claim that they are not really aspec." and "Repulsed Aspecs tend to get ostracised from parts of the aspec community because they are often conflated with being romance/sex negative and tend to get thrown under the bus when fighting against aphobic talking points" can COEXIST. one does NOT cancel out the other. both Favorable and Repulsed aspecs have their own troubles in and out of the community.

saying "nooo Favorable people can't be hurting repulsed people because it's actually repulsed people hurting favorable people" is just very black and white thinking and pretty naive. We can talk about how some Repulsed people attack favorable people and how some Favorable people attack repulsed people. like it's allowed for them both to be talked about. one existing doesn't mean the other magically doesn't exist. situations are more complex than there being one good side and one bad side. it's usually a mix of good and bad people on both sides and we need to understand that if we want any progress to be made. if we ignore one sides pain then we fix nothing.

Hey, just so you know, it's ok for your feelings to fluctuate. It's ok to be sex or romance repulsed one day and not the next. It's ok to be indifferent one day and favorable the next. It's ok it you think you're sex repulsed and then realize maybe you're sex adverse. It's ok to be romance indifferent one moment and adverse the next. It's ok. Your experiences are valid.

“I want to go on a date” and “I don’t want to date anyone” are two statements that can coexist

(anyone who identifies themself as aromantic is allowed to answer this, regardless of sexual orientation or where exactly on the arospec you fall)

not romance favorable not romance repulsed but a secret third thing (wants a romantic relationship but in a very specific way with a very specific person and only in theory)

I don’t like to use romance favourable, neutral, or repulsed as an identity for myself. I experience all of these as emotional reactions to romance depending on the context. I’m always romance repulsed towards myself being involved in romance but in fiction or other people irl it varies a lot. Like, I’m favourable to the queer couples/ships I enjoy in tv shows. I have romance repulsion towards super heteronormative and amatonormative relationships. I generally don’t like to see any form of PDA. Most other things I’m pretty neutral towards but sometimes the vibe makes me feel a bit ick or I might think it’s sweet, you know? Is this a common experience or do you pretty much always stick to one favourability? I’d love to hear some thoughts from other aros :)

Liking or disliking sex and/or romance should never be the litmus test that determines someone's intellect, morality, and value. Liking or disliking sex and/or romance is simply a neutral thing and should not determine what your worth is as a person.

You are allowed to like or dislike sex and/or romance as long as you don't shame others who hold a different opinion and as long as you're not forcing these things on people who had not given you consent.

The ability to pursue any romantic and/or sexual activity and relationship is inseparable to the ability to create boundaries for your own safety and vice versa.

Your actions should not trample on the rights of others and that includes forcing romantic and sexual acts on someone as well as forcing romantic and sex negative resistance against another person.

Repulsion descriptors are not exclusive to those on the aspectrum. Anyone can use them

Alloromantics can be romance repulsed just as aromantics can be romance favorable Allosexuals can be sex repulsed just as asexuals can be sex favorable Alloplatonics can be platonic repulsed just as aplatonics can be platonic favorable etc.

While most people who use them will be on the aspectrum, they are not exclusive and are open to anyone.

my interest in romance is not a replacement for my disinterest in platonicism just as an allopl aro's interest in platonicism is not a replacement for their disinterest in romance. you dont need a replacement for whatever relationship type it is you dont care for.

Stop using romance/sex repulsed and romance/sex negative interchangably

Stop using romance/sex favorable and romance/sex positive interchangable.

One of these things is a personal stance and identity (repulsed/favorable) while the other is a political stance (positive/negative)

By using these two interchangably you are adding to the idea that repulsed people can't support sex positivity and must be sex negative. You are adding to the idea that favorable people are all sex positive when they to can be sex negative.

Please STOP USING THESE TERMS INTERCHANGABLY.

[ID: White text on a pink background that reads, “Does anyone want to be my boyfriend but in the actual "boy that's a friend way." But we're also friends that kiss sometimes and do other things deemed inherently romantic by society but in the friend way thoough. Because there's not any actual romance, we're just friends that call each other each others partner. But we're also not strictly together with just each other.” The rest is cut off. End ID]

shoutout to all my aromantic people who had a harder time discovering they're aro because they do enjoy romance and romantic activities, it's just the attraction that's not there (or maybe it only appears once every blue moon) 😅.

support aromantics who feel romantic attraction or die by my fucking blade

Hey, if you're suspecting you might be aromantic or arospec but you still desire intimate and/or romantic relationships, consider the concept of love important to you, want a partner or partners of some kind, or dont mind romantic situations, none of those things are excluded from aros.

The only definition of aro is experiencing romantic attraction differently from alloromantic people (a lack of attraction, little attraction, or otherwise differently).

I want a partner. I like a lot of things that might seem like they would mark me as alloro. But the key is that I also don't experience romantic attraction like an alloro person would. These things can coexist.

If you think exploring the aro community might be helpful to your understanding of yourself, by all means do so!

Just wanted to reaffirm to myself and the world that romance-favorable aros are valid. Greyromantics, demiromantics and any other aro-spec identities that experience occasional romantic attraction are valid. Aromantics who for whatever reason still desire and take part in romantic relationships are valid.

It's been a bit of a rough ride to get to where I know this to be true. When I first found out I was aroace, I felt broken for identifying as aroace and still wanting to get married someday. It felt like I was lying in some way, or that I was betraying the aromantic community by wanting what by definition of being aromantic, I should never want. I felt guilty knowing my future partners would feel things towards me that I would never be able to feel in return.

I know that most of the aromantic affirmations are themed around wanting to make sure that aromantics in general know they are valid in an amatonormative world. Most aromantics experience the exact opposite problem as me, not feeling valid in having zero desire for romantic relationships (which is of course valid, romance-indifferent, romance-averse and romance-repulsed aros are very much valid). But there is next to nothing on the internet that I've been able to find saying that it's okay to be aromantic and romance favorable. You're not betraying the community in some way. You're valid too.

So here's that post. If you are romance-favorable and aro-spec, you're valid too. Don't feel as though your identity forces you into a box. The label that fits you best isn't tailor made specifically for you and you can do whatever you want to make it your own.