Tumgik
#alfred’s cooking
crowned-aeris · 1 month
Text
Imagine, after everything settles down, Jason brings Dick with him to hunt Tim down and force him into a family preening session, like Cass is there, ofc, and she helps wrangle Tim into Bruce’s big ass bed and they just absolutely smother him with love
just imagine the kids kidnapping him like:
Tim: Jason… what are you doing here? …. Cass? Dickie?? Duke????? What is the meaning of this??”
Jason: Come on big bird, we’re kidnapping you 🥰
Dic: For a sleepover :D
Tim: …KON!
Kon: Sorry, man, but they bribed me with Alfred’s cooking 😔
Tim, screaming as Cass tosses him over her shoulder and drags him away: TRAITOR! YOU TRAITOR!!!!!!!
Jason, grinning like a little shit and slipping Kon a cookie: Pleasure doing business with you 😌
And Dick’s just like, “SLEEP OVER TIME!!!!!”
btw, if enough ppl show interest, then i’ll prolly write it out
98 notes · View notes
call-me-strega · 4 months
Text
Dc x Dp Prompt #10: Inter-Dimensional Bake-Off
Alfred was checking the mail the manor had received that day when he found it. In between bills, fan mail, and company missives was a regal purple envelope addressed to one Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth. Intrigued, Alfred set aside the rest of the mail and sat to open the letter.
Inside was a high quality cardstock invitation of a metallic silver color decorated with luxurious midnight green script. It declared on the front:
“You Are Cordially Invited”
Alfred raised an eyebrow and flipped open card.
Dear, Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth You have been cordially invited to participate in the first annual inter-dimensional bake-off to celebrate the coronation of the young, King Phantom, age 21, Ruler of the Infinite Realms, the Great One, Protector of Souls, Keeper of Peace, The Perfect Balance, The Infinite King, Ancient of Space and Reality. We have discerned that you are among the top 25 bakers in the 11 most stable and prominent dimensions with an open connection to the Infinite Realms. Thus, we would like to offer you the opportunity to show off and test your skills against talented competitors. Should you accept, all transport, accommodation, amenities, materials, and potentially needed medical care shall be provided by the King and his court. If you would like to bring any specific ingredients or tools you are welcome to file a request for them when you arrive and they shall be summoned to you at the start of the competition. You are allowed one plus one either as an assistant or moral support. Should you have any questions please write them down and place them on the sigil on the next page and recite the incantation bellow: “bonvolu respondi mian demandon” The event shall occur in a fortnight upon the weekend before the kings official coronation ceremony. In order to confirm your participation in the competition please burn this letter with one of your most recently made baked goods. In order to decline simply dissolve this message under running water. Please confirm your attendance or absence within a week’s time. Kind Regards, the Council of Ancients Advisors to the Good King Phantom
Well, it seemed like Alfred had earned a place in a rather prestigious event. ‘It seems a finally have a reason to make use of all those vacation days Master Bruce keeps insisting I must utilize.’ He smiled to himself, tucking the letter into his pocket. ‘I wonder if Master Jason would be amicable to accompanying me for a weekend of baking in a magical dimension?’
~ Just in case anyone has trouble reading the letter:
Dear, Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth You have been cordially invited to participate in the first annual inter-dimensional bake-off to celebrate the coronation of the young, King Phantom, age 21, Ruler of the Infinite Realms, the Great One, Protector of Souls, Keeper of Peace, The Perfect Balance, The Infinite King, Ancient of Space and Reality. We have discerned that you are among the top 25 bakers in the 11 most stable and prominent dimensions with an open connection to the Infinite Realms. Thus, we would like to offer you the opportunity to show off and test your skills against talented competitors. Should you accept, all transport, accommodation, amenities, materials, and any potentially needed medical care shall be provided by the King and his court. If you would like to bring any specific ingredients or tools you are welcome to file a request for them when you arrive and they shall be summoned to you at the start of the competition. You are allowed one plus one either as an assistant or moral support. Should you have any questions please write them down and place them on the sigil on the next page and recite the incantation bellow: “bonvolu respondi mian demandon” The event shall occur in a fortnight upon the weekend before the kings official coronation ceremony. In order to confirm your participation in the competition please burn this letter with one of your most recently made baked goods. In order to decline simply dissolve this message under running water. Please confirm your attendance or absence within a week’s time. Kind Regards, the Council of Ancients Advisors to the Good King Phantom
The Esperanto translates to “please answer my question"
Edit: now with possible contestants
2K notes · View notes
Text
Jason: Ew, this tastes gross *turning to Dick next to him and holding it out to him* try it
Dick: What? No way, you just said it tastes gross, why would I try it?
Jason: fine *turns to Tim on the other side of him, holding it out* try this
Tim: *takes a bite* Yeah, disgusting
Damian: Oh please, Drake's a baby, let me try it
Tim: *passes it to Damian*
Damian: *Tries it* Eww, yeah, no, this is gross
Steph: *Takes it from Damian, trying it* makes me want to vomit, try it Cass
Cass: *Takes a bite* yeah no, please never get this again, you want some Duke?
Duke: Why not *takes a bite* Meh, it's not horrible, it's just not good
Dick: Well now I feel left out
Duke: *hands it to Dick*
Dick: *takes a bite*
Dick:
Tumblr media
Bruce, in the background: *slaps his forehead* why are they like this
Jason: You wanna try Bruce?
Bruce, dad who feels bad when he says no to his kids: *pained smile* *through clenched teeth* Suuuure...
Dick: *hands it to Bruce*
Bruce: *takes a bite, spits it out into his napkin* Awful, truly atrocious, I'm going to sue, that was so awful
11K notes · View notes
dcxdpdabbles · 10 months
Text
Alfred's Boy Part 3
Bruce rarely had a full night's rest. In fact, he thinks that it's been a full two years since he last had more than eight hours of consistent slumber. Unlike Tim, who just forgo the recommended sleeping amount, Bruce found time to take naps throughout the day because, as much as he hates to admit it, he's not as young as he used to be.
This is why Bruce is rather displeased to be awoken when he finds himself with a chance to have a full night's rest. It felt like he barely closed his eyes at the tender time of nine o clock pm- with no cases waiting for him, his children agreeing to take his patrols, and the wonderful tea that Danny had poured him to help with backpain-he thought nothing would ruin it.
He forgot he had children for a moment.
At three in the morning, he woke to Tim, half in his Red Robin uniform, crouching like a cat about to leap, his unmasked face staring a few inches away from Bruce's nose. It took everything in Bruce to not react on instinct and take a swing at his son.
He only just bites back the scream by sheer willpower. His son doesn't seem to notice his heart trying to leap out of his chest as the boy leans back, sitting on the pillow Bruce likes to use to build a protective wall against the other side of the floor.
Tim's voice was raspy with sleep and maybe even hints of madness. "Oh good, you're awake. I have an emergency."
"Wha?" Bruce asks, half unsure if he is hallucinating. "What's wrong."
"Danny found his photo album."
"Danny has a photo album?"
"Yes. I made it. I took all the pictures."
"Okay? Why is that bad, chum? Was it supposed to be a surprise present for him?"
Tim tilts his head, his somewhat unfocused eyes staring at Bruce, and for one moment, he wonders if Tim got a concussion out in the field. He disregards the idea a moment later. Alfred would have notified him, and if not, Danny wouldn't allow Tim to wander alone.
Bruce could still remember Duke's wide eye awe as Danny followed him around when he got hit a little too hard a few weeks ago. The butler in training had even slept in his room- on the floor on an air mattress- and Duke had looked mortified and smug for as long as it took to get over his injury.
Alfred had to make it very clear no one was allowed to deliberately get a concussion to his other love-struck children.
Tim's nose wrinkles as a slight blush appears on his high cheeks. "No. He didn't know I was taking pictures of him. That's why it's bad he found the album. "
Bruce closes his eyes. He loves his son, he really does, but he can't handle this right now. He takes a few blissful seconds to pretend he never became a single dad of nine before he pushes his eyelids apart to give one of his middle children a firm scolding. "Tim, chum, the light of my life, that's a crime."
"It's not! I didn't follow him around outside the manor." Tim argues.
Bruce reaches a hand up to rub the space between his eyes. "Tim, you can't just take pictures of people without asking them."
"Why not? I've done it before. To you, Dick, Jason, Steph, Alfred, Damian, Harper, Cullen, Duke, and Cass, but she usually catches me and poses so it doesn't get her in her authentic state of being like I usually want to get but-" Tim says, counting the people on his figures before he seems to realize that he was sidetracked and shakes his head. He gives Bruce a pitiful pout. "He doesn't even mind. He said they were lovely and artistic!"
Of course, Danny wouldn't even blink at a creepy photo album of himself hidden in one of his employer's rooms. That boy didn't care that he found the Batcave while dusting, so taking everything in stride was a default.
"Tim, it's still not okay. You have to ask him from now on if you can take pictures." He holds up a hand when Tim opens his mouth to no doubt argue. "You can ask him if you can take pictures of him throughout the day to capture his authentic side without it being a crime. Now explain what the emergency really is."
Tim's teeth snapped close with a snap. "That was the emergency. He found it, and now I have to leave the country. Go underground for a few months. Maybe fake my death."
"You literally don't have to do any of that. Danny said it was okay right? He isn't one to sugarcoat things. He wouldn't claim it was fine if he didn't feel that way."
"No, Bruce, you don't understand. He already thinks I can't swim. Now he finds a book of him covered in hearts? Tim Drake needs to die." Tim says, dragging his hands down his face, and Bruce flips the covers back.
Gesturing to them, he deadpans. "Tim Drake needs to sleep."
"But my fake death needs to be planned-"
"Cullen and Harper get back tomorrow. Do you want to stress Danny more by adding your fake death to this?" Bruce watches the moment his argument wins because it's as if all fight leaves Tim's body, and his son slumps to the side. His head falls on a pillow, and he's already fast asleep.
He had been running on fumes again, it seemed.
Sighing, Bruce man hands his son into a more comfortable position, unclips his cape, and tucks the blankets around his son's shoulders. He settles back into his side of his bed- Ever since Dick came to live with him, Bruce had, over the years, claimed the right side of the bed so the left would always be open for any of his children suffering from nightmares.
He closes his eyes; Tim's peaceful face snuggling into Bruce's softest pillow reminded him why he became a single father of nine. His heart swells with love as he gives back into sleep's warm arms.
A few seconds later, his door is kicked open by Harper. She puts all her lungs into her greeting. "What's up, Old man! Who's the new kid!?"
Bruce glances at his clock and realizes it's now eight in the morning. Harper and Cullen had arrived hours earlier than planned- probably because Harper had refused to sleep and completed the drive home. He looks at Tim and finds his son curled into a ball, still dead to the world.
"That's Danny," He says in a hushed voice, gesturing to her adoptive brother. When Harper sees Tim, she visibly quiets, ensuring her heavy metal boots don't stomp on the ground as she walks over to him. "He's Alfred's foster son. He was removed from his last home because his parents were dangerous to his safety. Alfred will house him as a favor for his old contact. The contact code name is Clockwork. Danny talks about him a lot so you may hear that name for a while."
"Whoa. " She says, sobering up. Bruce can see memories of her birth father playing behind her eyes as she frowns. "That's shitty. Poor guy, no wonder he seemed sad to the bone."
"You met him?"
"Yeah, he jumped Cullen and me in the main hallway."
Bruce's mind buffers for a second. "What?"
"I know! The dude has skill, but it makes sense if he is Alfred's. He thought we were breaking in and took us out before I realized we were in danger. Once he got a good look at our faces, though, he practically threw up apologizing." She pauses. "Is he straight?"
No. Bruce thinks feeling cold, not another one.
"I believe he's bi. Why?"
Harper shrugs, smiling. "I think Cullen may have a crush on him. I was iffy about it since I thought he was another of your kids. You technically aren't our dad since I'm still Cullen's guardian, but you let us live here for free, so you like a dad? Glad it's not an issue."
Bruce wants to cry. What was it with Danny and seducing his children (in the eyes of the law or not, Cullen is Bruce's boy)? "There may be an issue. See, Danny has a few admires right now and he's- "
"That sounds like your issue, not a Cullen issue," Harper says, narrowing her eyes. Bruce winces when he notices her arms crossing over her chest as when firmly plants her feet a few inches apart. She only stands like that when she's protective of Cullen, which means she finds his comment offensive.
"I'm not saying Cullen doesn't have a chance." Bruce corrects realizing where the issue was. Harper's arms loosen slightly. "I just meant that right now, Danny isn't in the right mental state to be dating."
Harper's arms drop. "Yeah, I wasn't interested in dating after I became emancipated, either. Had a lot going on. I'll talk to Cullen about it. Make sure he gives Danny space."
Finally, one of his kids is on his side! "Thank you, Harper."
She waves a hand dismissively. "Don't mention it. Hey, how did Clockwork and Alfred meet anyway?"
Bruce shrugs. "I never asked."
"Why?"
"It's Alfred. " He says like that is an explanation enough, and it is. Harper accepts it as such, nodding along. She tilts her head back and mentions wanting to shower, then take a long nap. She leaves the room as silent as a shadow, but not before telling him Danny and Cullen are making pancakes for everyone.
Bruce doesn't want to get up, but he must be the period romance villain and rip his son away from the staff. He slips out of bed with great effort and prepares for the day. A quick bathroom break, and a change into a casual suit, lead to Bruce walking down to the kitchen.
There he spots Danny smiling gently at Cullen, who is in an excited rant about his latest reality tv show. Around them is a spread of breakfast foods- Danny always cooks the food of various cultural backgrounds. He apparently learned from Clockwork and found it important everyone had at least one piece of home per meal.
It's heartwarming domestic. Bruce needs to ruin it.
"How did Alfred and Clockwork meet?" Cullen asks, stopping Bruce from dramatically bursting into the room. It's mostly because he has been wondering the same thing for weeks, and Danny seems to know.
"Alfred got haunted when he picked up Clockwork's pocket watch in an antique store," Danny responds.
That answer didn't explain anything. In fact, it just created more questions. Bruce wants to wait a little more, see if Danny adds more information, but he watches as the bulter in training places strawberries on heart-shaped pancakes and then drizzles chocolate. He puts the plate in front of Cullen, and the other teenager swoons.
Yeah, Bruce needs to stop that.
"Good morning, boys." He calls, watching the two turn to him. They each give him a greeting, but Danny is noticeably more polite. Danny moves away from Cullen to serve Bruce. He adds blood pudding alongside his Batarang-shaped pancakes as Cullen sulks about losing Danny's attention. Bruce takes a bit of those first, closing his eyes in bliss.
Blood pudding, just like Alfred used to make.
Speaking of Alfred, his loyal butler arrives then. Seems like Bruce wasn't the only one catching up on a night of undisruptive sleep. His oldest friend gives both boys a once over, Danny pouring tea and milk and Cullen staring at him lovingly- and raises a brow, leaning down to whisper in Bruce's ear.
"I say, it seems Danny has collected another one."
"Please don't."
"Denial will not make it less true. It's how I wound up haunted."
"Alfred, what does that mean?"
2K notes · View notes
youcalledsworld · 1 year
Text
Looking for a Mother.
Danny Phantom had a problem. Actually he had two problems, both problems came from Vlad. No, one problem is Vlad and the other is caused by Vlad.
The first problem is how he could sentence Vlad to "death" in the most painful way that could last years. The second problem was how he could help his daughter who now only had her ghost half and was forced into her core because her human side couldn't keep her ghost half stable.
When he went to Frostbite he got a solution to his second problem. He just had to find a woman to carry Ellie to term so she can grow a new human half. Sadly, that created a third problem.
Frostbite told Danny that Sam or Valerie (who both loved Ellie and would do anything for her) or any other mortal woman wouldn't be able to handle the power coming from Ellie's core. So now Danny had to look for a woman who was willing enough to hold the responsibility bearing his child and strong enough to survive childbirth.
And with Danny's responsibility as King he couldn't just leave to look for a woman to bear his child. He also couldn't ask his court or allies to look for someone for him. Because they would either kidnap someone or to use this situation to make a move for more power.
The Justice League had a problem. They actually had two, one was Darkseid and the other was Brainiac. The League got an emergency from Oa asking for help against Brainiac. So the league sent some of its heaviest hitters, which include the Supers, Captain Marvel, the Green Lanterns, the Flash, Zatanna and other non powered leaguers for help.
So of course Darkseid used that as a distraction to invade earth. And the league was losing, so John Constantine came up with the plan to use the new Ghost King to deal with Darkseid.
The others were sceptical but John told them he was a good kid who would help for free if he could. Sadly, he couldn't because when summoned the summoner or those around him had to give something in return for his help. Which was usually food or space rocks.
So reluctantly they started the summoning with the sacrifice they decided to give (two home cooked meals from Martha Kent and Alfred Pennyworth). They all started to feel cold even Batman in his temperature regulated suit.
Wonder Woman shivered with he blade in hand ready to jump into action at anytime.
After the summoning was complete they asked the Ghost King to help them with Darkseid. They were about to give him the meals but surprisingly he asked them to hold it for now because he has something he would like to ask for. So he told all but Wonder Woman to leave the room because he has something to ask her that only she out of everyone here could help with.
Next
1K notes · View notes
Text
DPxBatfam crossover
So back with the HC of ectoplasm being acidic. Continued exposure to acids can damage taste buds and make food taste blander or completely different.
Danny grows up with ectoplasm exposure in almost everything around him even before the accident, his taste is probably most gone. Meaning he can’t really tell how good or bad food tastes unless it’s really good, or closer to poison than a meal.
Have Danny be adopted, friends with, or with one of the bats and he eventually just eats one of their failed cooking attempts without even battling an eye at how inedible it actually is.
Eventually, Danny would end up as the batfams’ food taste tester. If he says it’s good, it’s probably amazing. If he says it’s fine it’s a coin flip. But if Danny says it’s bad it would probably kill a normal human.
It would be even funnier if Danny could cook, like he only makes food that would make Alfred cry in joy because that’s what tastes good to Danny. Although he’s not allowed to cook anything that’s meant to be spicy anymore, because he made over half the batfam including Batman cry from pain due to the heat level.
3K notes · View notes
harumscarumcos · 2 months
Text
listen: nearly everyone who lives in wayne manor can cook (to an extent) EXCEPT Bruce he is barred from going into the kitchen
178 notes · View notes
p1nkshield · 9 months
Text
Hi 👋 This is chapter four of the Estranged Uncle Au!
Just a warning there is mentions of cults and a scene that has Damian being Damian (AKA knife child) Please take care of yourselves! I hope you enjoy!
Clark was sweating buckets.
“I promise you I’m not in danger! This is all a big misunderstanding! Bruce isn’t even that creepy!”
Jazz rattled off several reasons.
“He has a cloyingly sweet public persona, his personal computer has extensive information on all of the local rogues in the area and all the adopted sons we’ve met look practically identical to both each other and you and Danny! Not to mention they all seem trained for combat! How is that not creepy?”
Okay from an impartial standpoint Clark could see how it looked like he was tied up in a cult.
“I swear if another fruitloop billionaire obsessed with one of my family members tries to adopt me I’m gonna wail!”
How specific!
“Wail?” Clark began to ask but was cut off.
“Are you tied up in a cult Clark? Because we can get you out if you are! I … uh know a guy who specializes in taking down cults.”
What?
“I promise you I’m not in a cult! The blue eyes and black hair is a coincidence and I am not in danger! Also what do you mean you know a guy who specializes in taking down cults!?!”
Danny squinted.
“Hold that thought. Everyone stop talking!”
Danny reached towards Clark’s shoulder and picked out a small device, no bigger than a grain of rice out of his cable knit sweater.
“No one who plants listening devices into sweaters isn’t creepy.”
He then promptly threw it to the ground and crushed it with his heel.
“That’s the end of the recording.” Tim said while cringing.
“Sleazy?!? Me? Sleazy? I did a back handspring on hardwood floors for them and they call me sleazy?!”
Dick thought that he could win them over. Was he too heavy handed?
“It’s probably because you fell asleep in the pico de gallo timber.” Jason joked as he inspected the weapons vault.
“What? Me?!? I was the only one who made any headway! I was just up late trying to track whoever was hacking us!” Tim defended.
“Well good news! You found ‘em! Let me know when they hack my library account seeing as the Big bad bat computer is being hacked by a couple teens.” Jason said dismissively as he took a flamethrower fuel canister.
Bruce was experiencing a new amalgamation of emotions. He was both incredibly embarrassed, incredibly amused and incredibly impressed.
How embarrassing that the bat computer was hacked! He put so much effort into the protection of his data!
But then again Clark must be beside himself trying to convince them he wasn’t in a cult and that was incredibly amusing. He even said all the things that people said when they were in denial about being in a cult!
This was absurd! The only way to describe this was absurd!
“Fools! All of you do not truly understand the gravitas of the situation! If they believe that we are indeed weapons dealers they may snoop further and compromise all of our secret identities!” Damian huffed his way into the view of his family.
“We’ll be alright Dami, Tim is reinforcing our defenses for the computer and we’re going to try and disengage for a while. If we keep on trying we might make it worse.” Dick ruffled through Damian’s hair despite many protests.
Damian tutted at this suggestion. They needed to approach the problem head on and quickly rectify the situation lest it spiral into a larger one. Perhaps if they suffered an accident.
“Damian! I know that face! That’s the face you make when you go off and try to rectify the situation by yourself!”
“That is not true Grayson! I was simply thinking about confiding in my companion about how tedious my science project is.”
“You promise you’re only going to engage in age appropriate activities like science homework and book reports?”
“I promise.”
"I'm choosing to believe you" Dick began to walk away before pulling another sour face. "...Sleazy?"
Damian checked his hidden blades one final time before encroaching upon this Daniel Fenton who had foolishly entered an alleyway. He deftly held a knife to the throat of his target.
"If you continue to snoop into my father's business I will not hesitate to cut you down!"
Damian was expecting to me met with fear and copious apologies. He was a fearsome and terrifying warrior after all.
"Are you trying to hold me at knifepoint on your tippy-toes?" The target said in the same tone that one would use with a kitten trying to jump a bit too high. They should be focused on the clear danger Damian was posing. Or at least the danger he was posing. Between the moment Damian looked at his feet and the moment he looked back up to find a very unperturbed Danny.
"Did your father put you up to this?" He asked.
"No! I acted of my own accord!"
"Well are there anymore ineffective threats you want to say?"
Damian was about to say something when his stomach audibly growled. Curses! He could not bring a meal in order to maintain secrecy from Alfred! Damian slowly looked up towards Danny's face. He has that look that Grayson gets before he does something annoying like ruffle his hair.
"Are you hungry?"
Damian did not dignify this question with an answer and began to storm off.
"I'm having some friends over, we can spare you a plate! My friend Sam chose the menu though so its vegan."
Damian stopped in his tracks.
"What is it that you are making?"
"Cauliflower gnocchi with cashew cream pesto."
"And this is taking place in Clark's home?"
"yep."
"Fine. But I will not be lenient with you because you've offered me a meal!"
Danny laughed and texted Sam
"Hey get another bundle of basil Im bringing a guest"
611 notes · View notes
Text
Robin landed on the roof next to him and Bruce could already feel the headache building. They were looking down on a young blond man with pointed ears and a large halberd on his backriding on a white horse. The guy looked like he had come straight out of a fairytale. He knew that if this was a new rogue Damian would argue about keeping the horse. Actually he would probably want to keep the horse even if he wasn't a rogue.
Deciding the guy had gotten close enough they swooped down to confront him. The man, startled, stopped his horse and pulled the large halberd off his back. He held it in front of him, as if in warning. The man looked wary of them but not afraid. They stared at eachother for a moment before the man spoke in a language neither Batman not his Robin knew.
---
Link was having a wierd day. He had literally just saved Princess Zelda a week ago (and for the second time) when he encountered some kind of demon in black and white. The Master Sword glowed in the demons presence which was all Link needed to know before chasing after the being. The thing, looking like a teen in odd clothing that reminded him of links own rubber suit, bolted into a green portal it had created.
Not hesitating he had his horse leap into it. And now he was in a strange place with no sign of the demon. After getting attacked by a man yelling in a language he didn't recognize, he switched out his sword for a halberd for that extra reach on horseback and continued on his way, leaving the unconscious man on the road side behind him.
This place was odd. Parts of some walls would light up, showing images of people and places he didn't know along with a written language he didn't recognize. He came across many people who looked at him oddly...or at least he thought they were people. They looked like Hylians but most of them were taller than the average Hylian and to Links horror they had short rounded ears. How could they hear thier gods with such tiny ears?
He was scared, but he carried on anyway. Eventually he gets confronted by someone dressed as a monster and a child. They manage to settle thier...dispute?...without violence so that was nice. He pulled a few apples and swift carrots out of his tablet-to the curiosity of the duo- and hands them to the child. The kid caught on quickly and raced off to feed his horse her favorite snacks.
Link will have to figure out how to overcome this language barrier
Bruce however, has discovered this was not a man, but a teenager lost in a foreign world and is set on adopting him.
698 notes · View notes
scintillyyy · 3 months
Text
tim, the chicken noodle soup you made from scratch with dana and the full dinner spread you planned on making bruce for father's day will always be famous 2 me <3
166 notes · View notes
robbed-ghost · 2 years
Text
Bruce can’t cook for shit but for the last 30+ years he’s perfected the art of secretly seasoning Alfred’s bland British food from right under his nose.
2K notes · View notes
Text
Revenant!Jazz thoughts Pt.2
Continuing from this post
This time, I’m thinking about Vlad and his reaction to all this. In the show he doesn’t particularly seem to care about Jazz in any way, probably because of his hyper focus on Danny and Maddie. I doubt he’s registered Jazz as a threat of any kind, much less to him.
If Danny winds up Bat-dopted, Jason or classic “Bruce stole another one” and the news catches wind of the new Wayne, Vlad would be livid. Danny is supposed to be his son afterall, doesn’t matter that it was Maddie who severely wounded her own son.
In the midst of Rogues dropping like flies, Jazz sets a trap for Vlad by baiting him with Danny. Her brother is never in danger, not with her around and certainly not with the bat family lurking nearby, but Vlad cannot help himself- he tries to kidnap Danny by overshadowing the adoptive parent. Jazz allows it to happen only until Vlad takes Danny out of the public eye, then straight up punches Vlad out of the person he’s overshadowing, sucking him up into a thermos she stole from the GIW and throwing it into an abyss.
Tumblr media
Wouldn’t someone recognize Jazz then?
Beyond the walking dead look that came free with reanimating, Jazz walks, talks and looks completely different then she was in life. Memories shape us and without most of hers Jazz wouldn’t be quite the same anymore. Where she once walked with a relaxed gait and a calm demeanor, as a Revenant Jazz masters the murder strut, because that’s pretty much the only thought going through her head on a constant loop….Other than ‘make Danny Safe’ of course.
Who killed Jazz? (Asked by @someonebored0100 )
Originally I was thinking it would be either the Fenton parents in the GAV or the GIW, but then a delicious angst idea popped into my head….
Batman chasing down Joker led to him slamming into Jazz’s car, which resulted in her death and a new son for him to care for….
Batman says nothing when he brings in Danny, marks down Jazz’s death as a murder and does not go out as Batman again for a week.
Was Jazz autopsied?
Thee death rate in Gotham must be higher than any other city in the world, so the coroners embody (pun not intended) the phrase “overworked and underpaid”.
So no, she wasn’t autopsied, but they did make record of the punctured artery and removed the shrapnel by request of Batman for testing.
What happened after Jazz’s body disappeared from the Crematorium?
Bruce Wayne paid for the cremation personally, so it’s understandable the mortician would be Panicking at the very likely notion that someone stole a dead body paid to be cremated and sealed into an urn by Bruce Fucking Wayne.
If the mortician cremates an unclaimed body and slaps the wrong name on it, we’ll, add it to the list of morally questionable things he’s done as a mortician in a Gotham.
Thoughts about Jason’s reaction to a true Revenant?
Her veiny visage, with the broken sclera and eyes that seem to absorb light and give none back, horrifies Jason to the bone. Did he look like that when he dug himself out of his grave? Did the Pits actually do him a favor? It makes him wanna puke just thinking about how accurate his zombie jokes could have been… then makes him swear to stop telling those same jokes because clearly he’s no longer one of the walking dead if he looks better than this dead woman who looks just… horrifying.
Though once Jazz kills the Joker in the same way the clown killed Jason, he seeks out the Revenant and after doing some digging… swears to do whatever he can for her.
If this is Dad!Jason, then he’s very upset for Danny and Jazz’s tragic history.
No hardcover pairing this time?
Maybe? Doubtful, but it could happen. I don’t think it should though.
Does Jazz have a vigilante persona in this one?
Hmm, not exactly. She’s not tying to hide anything, definitely not her less than living appearance. She wears boots, a canvas jacket, jeans and gun holsters with hair that looks like a drunk toddler attacked it with dull scissors.
She doesn’t save anyone, not directly, but ending the rogues that killed so many earns her the name “Reaper” and it sticks.
What’s Danny’s reaction to all this?
We all know about the dark timeline that resulted from The Ultimate Enemy, Dan.
The Fenton parents are still hunting him down, Sam and Tucker are trying to move to Gotham, he’s been adopted by a Kevlar-clad billionaire furry who acts like a himbo with way too much ease for it to be all an act. He’s got a home that’s not an active threat to his afterlife and the food is the farthest thing from radioactive.
(Alfred Pennyworth nearly had a heart attack at the mere thought of a child eating radioactive food and that a piece of toast on his plate was a punishment.)
But… Jazz is dead.
It’s true that they hadn’t had the best relationship for the last few years, especially after his accident, but Jazz had become his rock. Sam and Tucker were his best friends, but they had no real idea what it was like to grow up a Fenton. Sure they had some context clues (was the giant portal entrance with the on-button inside not a giant warning sign?), but Jazz had kept him alive even as a kid herself.
She worked herself to the bone to make sure he had food to eat, some hours to sleep at night, and a shoulder for him to put some of the burden on her as Phantom. In the end, she hurt their parents to get him out of the lab and away from them.
She had died trying to get him to safety.
He’d seen her car, the wreck, the blood, the still radioactive substance he called his blood… he sat in the driver’s seat and cried for his sister- he wanted Jazz to tease him and call him ‘little brother’ again.
Sure, he had Cass now and several brothers, but nothing could ever replace Jazz.
It’s the thought that Jazz would be upset with him that keeps Danny from turning by his grief into a ghostly wail, to wreck everything and everyone.
Then he meets the Reaper. And he knows.
“Little Brother.”
/////////////////////////
What about the ending for Jazz you talked about?
That’s gonna be in another post, this one was getting long enough as is.
Tumblr media
179 notes · View notes
hypewinter · 1 year
Text
Clockwork had a de-aged Danny on his hands and he knows he can't give the boy the childhood he needs to become a great hero once again. Luckily his old friend Alfred had done a fine job raising 5 vigilantes.
628 notes · View notes
flamingpudding · 7 months
Text
Fictober23 Prompt: 12 - "I am not saying I didn't like it."
Fandom: DPxDC
Rating: T
Warnings: -
Danny grinned at Jason who was sitting across from him on the table. Before the other a plate of… something was placed, accompanied by a cup of tea. Danny's first attempt at cooking. Jason had not managed to escape the Manor in time and had been unlucky enough to come across Danny, Alfred's new assistant / ward entrusted to him from an old 'friend'.
Of course Danny had to have that stupid baby deer and begging eye looks as he pleaded to Jason to please try his cooking and help him work out how to make it better so that he could help out Alfred more in the future. Jason was going to say no but the other teen was very insistent and had an iron grip.
He was pretty sure Danny had cut off his arms blood circulation when he had gotten dragged to the kitchen. Either way he was now presented with something that looked inedible and a tea that smelled heavenly.
"Try it!" Danny smiled brightly and damit, maybe his brothers were right saying he was a good damn pushover. Jason swallowed, looking from Danny's bright eyes down at the plate before him.
"Fuck it…" If it tasted bad he would wash it down with the heavenly smelling tea. He stabbed something on the plate, ignored the fact that he was entirely sure he had seen it wiggle and stuffed it in his mouth, eyes tightly shut.
He waited for the bad taste to impact.
And waited.
And waited.
But it never game, carefully he opened one eye seeing Danny staring expectantly at him. Carefully he started chewing and his eye widened. Not expecting to taste what he did, Jason stared at the dish before him that he could only describe as the stew of doom.
"Well? How does it taste! Is it as good as Mr. Alfred's stew?"
"How the fuck…" was the only thing Jason was able to say still not believing his taste buds. Stil in disbelief Jason then took a sip of the heavenly smelling tea and promptly spit it out like it had burned his tongue, just not with the temperature but with its taste. He coughed, hitting the table a couple of times. His eyes teared up as he stared at the sheepish teen before him.
"What the fuck, Danny?" He wheezed out, trying to catch his breath after the coughing fit.
"I was sure you were going to like ecto-tea, considering you already have ectoplasm in your system. You didn't appear to mind it in the food."
Jason's eye twitch. "You mixed fucking ectoplasm into this food?"
If Alfred weren't so fond of this boy Jason would have punched him already. Sure Danny was a good damn enigma and when Alfred had introduced them the teen had freaked out on Jason about how he had not treated his apparent sickness before proceeding to explain to Alfred and Bruce that Jason apparently needed something called ectoplasm to stay healthy. That been a fucking ordeal, Jason certainly didn't want to repeat. Plus point was that this ectoplasm did indeed cure his Pit Madness, bad point was he had to take something that looked like fucking Pit Water on a regular basis.
And now Danny was apparently using him as his experimental guinea pig for his ectoplasm cooking. He could have at least said something about having it put into the food and tea. At least the teen looked somewhat apologetic at the glare Jason was sending him.
"Sorry… you just always made a face when you had to take the ectoplasm, so I tried making it taste better for you." He couldn't help it as he ruffled the others hair earning a pout in return. The teen reminded him of his brothers, if Alfred hadn't claimed Danny already as his, Jason was sure Bruce would have attempted to adopt Danny.
"I am not saying I didn't like it. Just don't put ectoplasm in tea anymore." He stabbed with his fork into the wiggling food to emphasize his next words When he lifted it he raised an eyebrow at the wiggling goob of something, that apparently doesn't taste as bad as it looks. "It's better in the food, despite causing it to look like something you shouldn't eat."
There was a crash behind him in the kitchen area right after he had placed the fork in his mouth and Jason arched an eyebrow at the suddenly very nervous looking Danny.
"What was that?" Jason asked, his eyebrow going even higher as Danny suddenly pulled out a green glowing steak knife out of seemingly nowhere.
"Nothing!"
Another crash resounded behind him and Jason was very tempted to turn around to see what caused it. But before he could, the green steak knife flew right past his head. "Nothing? Are you sure?"
"Uhm well… I might have kept quiet about a side effect ectoplasm can have on food." Another crash and Jason wondered if this was why Danny had waited for Alfred to be out of the Manor on errands before he attempted to cook.
"I won't say anything to Alfred as long as you don't use the good steak knives."
"Deal." Danny then proceeded to pull out the Demon Brat's throwing knives. Wide eyed Jason watched how Danny jumped over the table into the kitchen area, he turned in his seat to continue watching but found that Danny had disappeared chasing whatever had caused the crashing sounds.
"Demon Brat is going to bust a blood vessel, no one touches his blades." Jason muttered, turning back to his wiggling but actually good tasting food, deciding that for now, he would ignore the fact that Danny 100% was not a normal teen Alfred had taken in for a friend. If his knowledge about this ectoplasm was't enough to tip them off then the way had moved and used the blades just now definitely would and had.
Taking another bite, Jason marbled at the taste before he chuckled and wondered what would happen first. Him and his siblings figuring out what was up with Danny, the Demon Brat attempting to stab Danny for having used his throwing knives, or Danny figuring out their nightlife activities and the reason why Damian owned throwing knives in the first place.
250 notes · View notes
brucewaynehater101 · 2 months
Text
Hc: All of the clocks in Jason's apartment or safehouses are analog.
74 notes · View notes
trashmakerarticle · 5 months
Text
Bruce being absolutely horrible in the kitchen will always be a fav, but listen aight
Would Alfred really let this boy live with teaching him how to cook? I know Alfie drilled it into his brain on how to cook with perfection, but Bruce just chooses to make bum ass food for a reason only god knows, most weirdest combinations that got so weird to the point Alfred banned him from ever stepping foot in the kitchen ever again
115 notes · View notes