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ew-selfish-art · 4 months

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Not to express my favoritism on main but like...

Where's a fic about Tim Drake being de-aged and none of his family realizing it until way later cause the lil tyke is submitting all of his reports in a timely manner (a little slower because of tiny fingers vs. big mechanical keyboard) and is managing Wayne Enterprises under remote protocols with Tam (she thinks he might be with Pru and refuses to interact- one traumatic desert experience is enough for a lifetime).

Just like, Tim has managed himself since he was that small anyway given his parent's prioritizes pre-mortem. They didn't even have popular food delivery apps when he was little! This is such an easy era to be imposed upon by youth!

Not to mention the potential of him being caught in the middle of solving his dilemma might spur the Bats to become aware and then get mixed up... Making Tim's solution combust and more work for the little guy who is very determined and now very scorned.

#tim drake #bat kid #tim drake au #deaged au #dc #tim drake wayne

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nerdpoe · 10 months

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Tim is totally not a hero AU

He definitely isn't. Definitely.

Like, okay, maybe Batman got a little violent and maybe Dick was being a butt and not going back to Gotham to at least hover over Batman's shoulder disapprovingly, and MAYBE Tim had taken it upon himself to cobble together some dark clothes and a discarded kevlar vest and just like. Stalk Batman. Just a little.

Just enough to pop up and ask really loudly when he started going too far "BATMAN ARE YOU GONNA KILL HIM? IN FRONT OF A CHILD?" full of exaggerated gasps.

Maybe he memorizes Batman's patrol route and uses it to terrorize the man into not beating people to death.

Like, Batman starts getting a little too into it and suddenly there's a child's squeaky voice shouting shit like "hit him with the chair!" or "I can't believe I'm about to watch someone die in real time! Hold on a minute lemme get tiktok pulled up!" or "Hi Batman how is it-stop trying to catch me! I'm helping you whether you like it or not!"

Perhapsest once Batman starts calming the fuck down, Tim decides to use his cobbled together suit when he goes out to take pictures of crimes and hand them over to Gordon.

So what if people started calling him a weird moniker? Alright, maybe he responds to it sometimes, but like. He's not a hero.

He isn't!

Even if the other Leaguers keep saying he is!

Basically Tim is a feral totally-not-a-hero hero and everyone but him and Batman recognize that they're partners.

This leads to many confusing situations.

Jason guns for Tim?

"Literally why are you after me I don't even know you." "Batman replaced me-!" "No? He hasn't had a kid sidekick or adopted a kid since. Go talk to a therapist, not me." "But you're the replacement?" "But I'm not?" "But you're everywhere he is?" "Yeah, because I'm better than him and he needs Help."

followed by staring at each other like dogs that were barking at each other until you opened the gate, and now they're kinda like "idk what to do now"

"Hey kid, think you can convince your dad to not do this stupid plan? "???My dad is in Cairo?" "What? Batman's in the Tower?" "Batman's not my dad?" "Your...mentor, then." "He wishes he was."

"How's it going, Tim? Haven't seen you on patrol lately!" "Why are you talking to me, you literally told me to fuck off when I tried to get you to help stop your quasi-dad from killing people." "Well, you're B's new partner, so I figured-" "He can't afford me." "What?" "Did I stutter?"

#tim drake #batman #story prompt #maybe more like #story idea #hmmmmmm #tim drake au #don't even know what they'd call him #shadow for shadowing Batman?#Menace for terrorizing Batman?#Cricket like jiminy cricket for stopping batman from killing like how jiminy cricket acts like a conscience #idk #all good ideas tho

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file808 · 15 days

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Timkon accidental brake up au

Tim and Kon have their first date, but the next day Kon has an urgent of world mission. Tim trys to call him but he never answers and he thinks he ghosted him and is pissed. He gets more pissed when Kon comes back a few weeks later and acts like nothing happened. So Tim starts pushing Kon away and Kon has no idea what is going on.

But for like 3 to 4 months all the the batfam hear from Tim's room is brake up music. Dick tried checking in with Tim after hearing April by beach bunny for the 1000th time, but Tim did not budge.(The reason Tim doesn't tell anyone is because he is embarrassed and sad)

This is all I have for this for now but let me know if you want to see more of it.

#Timkon accidental brake up au #timkon #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #batfam #dccomics #timothy drake #dick grayson #kon el #conner kent #superboy #kon kent #Au #Tim drake au #Kon el au

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sunsoaked-living-blog · 6 months

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idk but something about a just catapulted out of stinky green juice induced rage, half feral Jason Todd telling my bb boi Timothy Jackson Drake that he’s “so indescribably fucked up” in Silverfox579’s Birdcage is just satisfies so good.

Like I absolutely love a Tim fic where he’s just undeniable unbalanced and deranged.

Like how do you have rabid, blood thirsty, pit mad Jason clock you and be so taken aback that he literally hits you with the “damn bitch… you live like this???”

he’s just a sad, unwell little boi. And I think that’s just neat. I want to give him a big ole hug and watch him set the dc world and interweb aflame.

#batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #batfam #dc #tim drake #dc comics #robin #batfamily #red robin #timothy drake #Tim Drake au

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meowharhar · 10 months

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tim drake au: healing metahuman

tim drake au where tim has a rapunzel-esque metahuman ability, inherited from his mother. when he sings to someone, they will heal.

batman hates metahumans, though, doesn’t he? it’s a mantra tim grew up with, the last words his mother left him with as a child. tim resolves to keep this tidbit of information to himself, fearful of the bat’s wrath.

still, when someone he loves is bruised and battered, passed out and pained, alone in the medbay, tim will sing quietly to them. there’s no one there to spy on tim, no one to call him out on his lies, and he loves his family and won’t let them hurt when he can help.

it’s all fine and dandy until tim is the one that’s hurt, and there is no one to sing sweet comforts for little tim.

it starts when tim is young, small even for a toddler, and he trips down the spiral stairs of a white tiled mansion. thumps echo through empty halls as tim tumbles. tim’s clothes are wrinkled from the impact and he’s bawling, wailing a storm as he clutches his little ankle. he knows intuitively that his mother will not appreciate this, but instinct beckons him to cry for attention. a tall, slim form, clad in white to match the emotionless walls, enters tim’s view and his mother’s face looks heckled. but swiftly, it bleeds into a tender worry and janet scoops her son into her arms and whispers to him meaningless words: a sad attempt at comfort. but when she holds tim’s ankle gently and her voice embraces tim’s being in a warm, tender hold, tim can’t help but feel at peace. a lullaby lulls the child into slumber and he wakes up in his room, ankle healed and clothes fixed.

#tim drake #tim drake au #red robin #batfam #red robin au #metahuman #metahuman tim drake #tim drake my beloved #i just think tim is cool #and deserves nice things #yes i do have a 5+1 for this in my drafts #lmk if u wanna see it ❤️#i have been thinking so thinking about this for so long

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robintherobiner · 9 months

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Choose a Tim Drake AU

These are some of my favorite 'Tim-is-never-Robin' designs, and I want to develop one of them into a fanfiction/fanart series, but I cant decide which. So, please choose your favourite version of Tim!

If you want a more in-depth explanation of the AUs, feel free to ask questions about them :3

#dc universe #tim drake #tim drake is chaotic #feral tim drake #tim drake is a menace #batfam #dc batman #batman comics #alternate universe #red robin #tim drake au #vote please

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noneknxws · 7 months

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I know everyone channels the “Tim is just a replacement robin” for angst which is amazing but… wouldn’t it be so funny if he was actually just an intern in another universe

14-year-old Tim Drake, parents died last year-ish, can’t access his money yet, bored out of his mind: hey mr wayne are you looking to hire

Bruce: (fake billionaire laugh) arent you a little young to work for WE?

Tim: no, for Robin

Tim: like an internship

Bruce: haha

Bruce: wait what

Tim: yeah would that be something I can do so you can give letters of recommendations or

#idk what this is #tim drake #Tim Drake au #intern Tim Drake #red Robin

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smbrita3 · 1 year

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Au Janet Drake is inmortal and a mythical regent/queen

so I once stepped into a fic about Janet being Ra's wife/partner but they like, stopped dating and Janet moved to Gotham and had Tim, only that Tim ls Ra'ses(? too and it was great, but it lacked the exploration of character, how Janet came to be, why would she choose the name Janet ?, her rise to power, did she met Ra's before or after the pits where discovered ?, she had her own league or some organization ?, the complexity of her relationship with Ra's, the things that had to be done for the legacy of their empire, the sacrifices made along the way, their children, Her children, their family, did she had/has sisters/brothers? Perhaps a twin?, the names that she once bore, does she knows Vandal Savage ?, does she has titles, lands, possesions to claim as hers ?, does she has offspring outside of the league ?, does she knows/uses magic ?, has she been a bride, a wife, a prisoner, a mother, a girl, a women, a goddess, a deity ?, so many things, actions, possibilities.

If someone would like to write about it please let me know, I would like to help you out if I can, or give u ideas, or like anything.

I don't remember the author of the fic I was talking first but I think it was Blue or Heartslogo, I don't remember, but don't worry I would search it up later so I can let the link and you will be able to read that masterpiece.

A little quote of this Janet:

Janet is the last name she has used, she wonders if it is actually quite fitting, it is adecuate, for now, a name full of life, a new name, a new .. something, sometimes she wonders if the names are really important, do they truly matter, do they even, after all this time, does she needs a name? She carries herself with knowledge, names are just things sallowed by time, but that's the irony, time cannot sallow her, she has win over time, and yet Juno comes back to her mind, a name that cannot be forgotten, how could the goddess, the wife that naive of her husband schemes has been misregarded, set aside, dismissed. Has her power being forgotten? Has her legacy being slaughtered? She is not and equal to *him* she is superior, it was her blood not his the one who reigned, it was her names being prased. Sometimes she wonders of Juno and how Janet feels like a breeze of air, the air she first breathed when she stepped outside the green elixir, that breath that mixed air and green water as one, like a natural thing, Janet feels like breathing again, like the awake of an old new thing, Janet feels like wicked whispers in the air waiting for a new name to rise, Janet feels like Juno's wrath and Livia's dream and Melisandre's mourning. Janet feels like a name worth of her new empire to arise.

#janet drake #Janet Drake #Tim Drake #Tim drake #red robin #ra's al ghul #league of shadows #talia al ghul #al ghul family #Au #Janet Drake Au #Tim Drake Au #Bamf tim drake #Bamf janet drake

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bblackthing · 1 year

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Janet Drake is always ready to protect her son

(I finally finished it :_))

This was inspired by other fanfictions about Janet being dangerous for everyone except her son.

I also liked how fake cover turned out :D

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snaileer · 1 year

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Socialite!Tim 3

Tim gaped at his Mother across the screen of their Skype call.

“Timothy, close your mouth. It’s unbecoming of a Drake to look so unaware.”

“You just told me you want me to DATE a Wayne, Mother!”

“Yes-“

“Stephanie Wayne, the daughter of a villain, not even a good one, but a second-rate-knockoff Riddler! Who is still alive, by the way, and probably won’t take well to me dating his daughter!” Tim yelled, incensed and scrambling with a hundred reasons why this was a bad idea

“Timothy!” Jack scolded from beside his mother, “Do not speak to your mother like that! Watch your tone!”

“But I-“

“And don’t interrupt us!” His mother said, with a raised chin and stern eyes.

Timothy stopped, looking down, “Of course, Mother.” He paused and dared to look up again, “I just don’t see why we have to do this. Can’t we just forget the Waynes? Drake Industries is doing good this quarter and we have a new line of-“

“Timothy. I’m well aware of how my company is doing, I don’t need a status report from my own son,” Jack scowled, “And you know as well as we that the Waynes can do more for us than just their company.”

Yeah, like take down the entire company from their Batcave if he said the wrong thing. Tim sighed.

“The Court told us we need to gain power with the Oldest House of Gotham, that’s the Waynes,” His mother replied, “And while we are in Cairo, we need you to help the family from Gotham.”

Jack seemed to smile next to his wife as he said, “Just like when you were younger, son, before you starting coming along with us on our trips! Don’t you remember?”

Tim felt something twist inside him, “Of course,” How could I forget?

“Yes, and the faster this is all wrapped up, the faster you can come join us,” Janet curled to turn to her husband, “Michael mentioned something about an opportunity in Tibet last week, didn’t he?”

Tim wanted to ask questions, What opportunity? A dig? Or a new artifact discovery? Maybe even some reconstruction like they’d done in Thailand, even if his parents had mostly only funded it.

But he knew any questions he asked would only get denied, they’d given him his chore and he’d get to do nothing else until that was done.

But this wasn’t a homeschooling project from a tutor, nor a board proposal he needed to complete.

It was so much more.

Tim spaced out as he said goodbye to his parents, letting it fall on deaf ears chatting of future exploits, and instead he let his mind begin to run with possibilities.

How in the world was he going to ask Stephanie Wayne out on a date?

Without getting killed by either of her fathers.

———

As it turned out, her fathers were not who Tim had to worry about.

Tim barely had time think the word “Feminism” before the brick hit his face, straight through the open front door of Wayne Manor.

Ow.

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nerdpoe · 10 months

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An Example of Courage, part 2 of the To Live with Honor and Bravery Series

Part 1, Ao3

Rook, previously Red Robin, is one of the most effective Bats there is. He is also blind. A look into exactly how Rook fights, given his technology and League of Assassin training.

Damian was displeased.

He refused to admit he was embarrassed.

He had been assisting Todd at Grayson’s insistence, and the bumbling fool had tipped the enemies to their position. They had been overwhelmed, and Damian had been forced to step down when a barely conscious Red Hood had been threatened.

A Red Hood who was also now awake, and judging by the tension in his shoulders, was just as humiliated.

The Comm was full of chatter as Oracle and Nightwing argued uselessly over how to make the four hour journey from a different state shorter, and kept lamenting that Batman was in space.

Damian was about to give up the pretense of having no communications when he heard the last voice he wanted to hear.

“I’ve got it,” Rook's quiet voice said, “Already scoping out the building.”

“Okay; good luck,” Orphan said, before presumably returning to her case.

There was an uncomfortable pause, and Damian could feel even Red Hood’s exasperation at Gordon and Grayson’s reluctance. How was it that he and Todd, who as a rule disliked Drake, understood he was more than capable of handling himself?

It was ridiculous and stupid and Damian could not inform them as such, or he risked alerting his captors that help was on the way.

He was, however, ready to admit that he was embarrassed that Drake would be the one to perform the rescue.

~~~~~~

Tim ignored Oracle and Nightwing’s pleading that he call on Kon for assistance, and tuned in on the robotic voice of his Seeing Eye Program.

He cleared his mind and focused on the picture it was painting for him.

There were fourteen working cameras in the warehouse.

There were twenty-one goons.

Their boss had already fled, as no one was there currently that matched his description, and the previous footage the cameras had indicated he’d gone for one of the exits.

Sixteen goons were in sight of the cameras.

Robin and Red Hood were in the break room, separated from what Tim knew he was going to have to do. Good.

All the goons had guns; the guns were identified as AK-47s, 30 rounds per gun, rapid fire and single shot possible. High probability that all goons had at least one extra magazine, leading to at minimum 60 rounds per goon, leading to at minimum 1,260 rounds of ammunition.

Best course of action was to ensure that they could not use those guns at all, and the second best course was to make them think they could not.

There were crates full of unknown items, although given the criminal element it was likely it was drugs or explosives. Ergo, highly reinforced and unlikely to break or detonate unless extreme force was used. A few stray bullets would be an acceptable risk, provided the projected outcome.

Tim could work with that.

The time taken between advising he would rescue his brothers and accumulating that information was approximately one minute and twenty seconds.

No time to waste.

Tim gave two sharp, short bird calls, followed by five clicks.

His Program immediately expanded its range of footage it was utilizing, and he listened until it mentioned what he wanted to hear.

The warehouse was on the docks, so underground electrical service wouldn’t be possible. He would have to find the connection on the roof and move from there.

He nodded as the Program finally mentioned where that point was, and moved.

Timing his movements with the patrol he’d already memorized, he leveled his grappler at the direction of the warehouse until the clicks ran together in a soft, continuous noise. He fired, swiftly jumping from the roof at the same time.

The Program immediately switched to prioritizing his mask footage and gave exact calculations for the best landing. It told him where the wall was, at what angle he had to shift himself, his estimated arrival to the other building, and where his estimated landing point would be in relation to the roof of it.

It did all of this in extreme shorthand he himself had designed, based on musical notes.

Tim, as he usually did barring extraneous circumstances, nailed the landing.

It had been one minute and forty-seven seconds.

Using his bo staff to ensure he did not trip on small hazards, Tim maneuvered to where the-yes. There it was.

The Program gave a small chirp of warning, alerting him to an environmental hazard directly in front of him, looking through the eyes of his mask for him.

He gently placed the small charge on the weatherhead, and used a super-glue based adhesive to anchor the service drop lines. That done, he carefully and quietly moved to the other side of the warehouse and hunkered down.

Then he detonated the charge.

A small pop, easily mistaken for faulty wiring.

Power was immediately cut to the warehouse, and he could feel the charge in the air as the electricity angrily searched for somewhere else to go. The adhesive forced the lines to stay in the weatherhead, but by their violent crackling and humming, that metal would absolutely heat up.

The only end result would be a fire; the Program confirmed Tim’s estimation of around twelve minutes for the metal to heat beyond the temperatures that the surroundings could handle.

The goons below him were shouting at each other, a few pot shots going off before the ones that had fired those were ordered to holster their weapons.

Two minutes and thirty-two seconds.

He caught his grapple on the edge of the skylight, and gently opened it.

And jumped down.

“Fuck, is that a grap-?”

Tim’s Bo staff caught the man in his throat and threw him against one of the many crates.

The Program happily informed him that the cameras had a night vision mode.

Well, well.

The sensor between his shoulder blades gave two sharp bursts and he ducked, half turning and bringing his staff up where he knew that the goon’s chin would be.

He heard the garbled shout and the cracking of teeth.

The one he’d hit upon his entrance hadn’t gotten up. Two down.

The Program directed him through the warehouse and around the stacks of crates, allowing him to sneak up on five more and take them down quietly before he was spotted.

Gunfire rang out and Tim dodged in the direction of other goons, resulting in a short yelling match as they tried to figure out if the shooter had actually seen a vigilante or if she’d just spooked and fired at friendlies.

Tim interrupted the woman who had shot at him by sweeping her legs out from under her and introducing her skull to his staff.

She did not get up.

Thirteen left.

The Program advised him that the remaining goons were all in view of the cameras, and the idiots had left Robin and Red Hood alone.

They were already attempting to escape their bonds.

Tim ducked behind a crate, shot his grapple at one of the ceiling joists and dropped down in the middle of the group of three that had been arguing with the previous woman.

Their surprise granted him enough time to lay into one of them and take her out before her friends managed to fumble a flashlight onto Tim.

“Shit, it’s Rook-!”

Tim jumped up and grabbed onto the edge of another crate, hauling himself on top of it as he dodged the gunfire that had been aimed at him from the one behind him, allowing his assailant to hit his own ally, and dropped down again on the one that had fired at him.

Using a flashy move that Lady Shiva would have absolutely disapproved of, he locked his legs around the goon’s neck and threw himself backwards. The goon dropped his gun, forced to fall, as Tim used his momentum to twist around to force the goon to land face first in the concrete.

Three down. Ten left. They had split into two groups of five.

Tim moved quickly, relying on the Program and his Bo Staff to avoid tripping hazards, and flanked the first group. His Program had informed him that his brothers had successfully escaped and were already converging on the second group.

He watched them through his program as he laid flat on one of the crates.

He inhaled.

Held it.

He exhaled.

He dropped a small, specialized EMP over the edge and shorted out their electronics, and then tossed himself over the edge and into the middle of the group.

Their flashlights and cell phones were just as dead as his Program.

They were just as blind as he was, at that moment.

From there, it was his skill and hearing that dictated the fight.

He heard them begin to move, and swept out his Bo staff in a wide arc, knocking three of them off balance. He heard them hit the ground.

He turned towards the two behind him he could hear starting to move forward and dove at them, relying on grappling to take them both down.

He focused on the two, bouncing between them as he kept an ear out on the three picking themselves up from the ground.

Just as they managed to stand, he broke one of his current opponent’s legs and slammed the other’s head into the wall.

Turning his attention on the three, he danced around them and used them as shields against the others.

He redirected a punch to where he’d heard another goon, hooked his foot in one of their knees and shoved at their sternum, turned and taken a punch to the face so he could grab their wrist and throw them over his shoulder.

He was so caught up, he didn’t hear the one he had counted out drag himself up. He didn’t realize until, as he vaulted over one of the last fighters, there was a deafening bang and a flair of pain in his leg.

Fuck.

He finished the vault and grabbed the man he’d been about to take out, using the surprise to force him along as he charged where the shooter was.

“Wait, Dave, don’t shoot-!”

“What the fuck-?”

Tim threw the goon at his friend. Then he swept their legs from under them with his handy-dandy Bo staff, whipped around to land a semi-accidental throat shot at the goon he heard sneaking up behind him (he’d been aiming for where their face should have been, but apparently the man had been a bit tall), and dropped said staff to grab both goons by their hair and slam their heads into the ground until they stopped moving.

He heard the goon he’d gotten his throat shot in on coughing and stepping closer.

Tim waited, pretending like he didn’t notice, and turned around when he was close enough.

He gripped the man’s shoulder and drove a knee into his gut.

“Rook, cease this! That is Red Hood!”

Tim froze, and the person he’d just tried to take out gently patted his shoulder. Tim frowned and reached out, tracing the familiar helmet.

“Whoops. I dropped an EMP, so-”

“Yeah dumbass, we know,” Red Hood wheezed, voice muffled by the helmet, “Our electronics went out too.”

They’d been in range? Shit. He’d miscalculated.

“...Ah. I would imagine that is massively inconvenient to you right now.”

“To us all, Rook. Tt. We lost communication with Oracle.”

Fuck.

Dick was going to be a nightmare to deal with.

~~~~~~

Jason handed his useless helmet to Damian and piggy-backed Tim.

They knew he could walk fine on his own, bleeding leg or not, but a huge part of Tim’s efficiency in battle was his opponents not knowing he was blind.

With his weird nerd-program off, he’d have to use the Bo staff to make sure he didn’t trip or run into a crate. That shit would give him away instantly. So; piggy-back until safehouse.

Tim was grumbling in his ear, but Jason ignored it.

He understood how infuriating it was to have to take help he didn’t need.

After he’d been dipped in the Pits, Talia hadn’t been convinced he’d been completely healed from the brain damage at first. Insisted on servants cutting his food into smaller pieces, reaching out and handing him shit he’d just been about to grab, talking at him slowly and clearly while holding his hand in an iron grip.

It’d been as flattering as it had been annoying. He vaguely remembered getting the same feeling from when he’d still had his brain injury, but unable to vocalize it.

She’d stopped after a few days, but still.

Jason got it.

So he’d let Tim complain, get it out of his system while they got somewhere to change into civvies.

Damian was also complaining, but his was about how unbecoming it was for his rival to be handled like he was delicate.

Jason…didn’t really get that one.

But whatever.

Some kids played dinosaurs with their favorite siblings, Damian tried to fight his to the death. All children were different, or some shit.

They had just stepped out the door when Tim patted his shoulder.

“Also the building is gonna catch on fire in like, four or five minutes. Loose electrical wires heating up metal on the roof.”

Jason dropped Tim on his ass and turned around to drag the criminals out.

“Tell me shit like that sooner!”

~~~~~~

“Yes, Dick, I’m sure I’m fine. Don’t abandon your mission.”

“Are you sure? I can-”

“I’m sure.”

“...Okay. Let me know if a situation comes up.”

“I will,” Tim agreed, signing off from his comm and leaning back against Jason’s mirror.

He twitched from a particularly hard pull of the stitches, and waved off a muttered half-hearted apology.

“...I suppose I should thank you,” Damian said, sounding gruff.

“I suppose you should,” Tim agreed mildly, lifting his leg so that Jason could place the bandage on it properly.

They sat in silence as Damian almost audibly ground his teeth.

“Thanks, Timmers,” Jason filled in, slapping his knee as he stood up and shoved a pair of sweats in Tim’s hands, “Couldn’t have left with as little bloodshed as we did without your help.”

Tim snorted.

“I’ll take Jason’s, Damian, no need to-”

“Thank you,” Damian ground out, “For your assistance. It was invaluable.”

Tim blinked in surprise, facing Damian’s direction.

Holy shit, that was a real show of gratitude.

“Uh…you’re welcome.”

“Do not push your luck, Drake.”

#batman au #an example of courage #to live with honor and bravery series #blind!Tim #BAMF!Tim #tim drake au #Tim drake #Jason Todd #Damian Wayne #Fanfic #Someone asked how tim fights with his tech #it grew on me and i wrote it #no ragerts

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figs-a-plenty · 2 years

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“I figured out that Batman is actually our neighbor, Bruce Wayne--on the basis of nothing more than four seconds of news footage, a bag of his garbage, and a trip to the downtown library.”