#Oscar worthy stuff
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Bf just looked at me and was like “Barbie was a comedy??”
#idk why that’s so funny to me#anyways what if I said#I don’t think that movie Oscar worthy lol#maybe set design and like technical shit#but performance??? best comedy?? when bottoms is right there???#like compared to other stuff did we watch all the same movies this year??
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a little lovesick satoru drabble after that horrible suna one, i really hope this is better.
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"oh god, here he comes." shoko sighs as gojo is nearing you, geto following close behind. you look over your shoulder and quickly turn back when you see the white haired, extremely annoying male.
"y/n-channn!!" gojo sings and throws himself on you, giving you not an inch of space to breathe with how he pushes his head and hair on your nose.
"hello satoru," you push him but fail to make him move so you pull his hair.
"OUCH! why would you do that to meee!?" gojo whines and stands up, turning around to look at geto who's grinning, amused by the situation.
"don't laugh at me! i'm suffering here." he pouts and shoko lets out the laugh she had been holding in.
"it couldn't have possibly hurt that much. stop overreacting." you say which only seems to make him sadder.
"now you announce me a drama queen, how will my heart ever recover?" he raises his hand to cover his face dramatically, contradicting himself. he never misses to give you an oscar worthy acting, so talented they would hire him to play in a shakespeare theater if he applied.
"you'll be fine." you mutter and open your book again, mumbling a curse under your breath when you realise you lost the page you were on.
"see, now i have to go through all the book to find my page." you sigh but gojo doesn't seem to care, still busy whining about how rude you are towards him.
"you never act this way with shoko, or geto. he's much less handsome than me- no offense bro." he turns at geto, who doesn't seem to mind the comment enough to argue back. it's just gojo and his usual dramatic-ness after all.
"because shoko is my best friend and geto is a really nice guy, who is definitely more handsome than you by the way." satoru quite literally throws himself on the ground after hearing those words come out of your mouth.
"i'd rather die than hear those words again coming from the love of my life." he closes his eyes. he looks like the people playing dead to fool a bear.
"i told you to stop calling me that, and it's the truth, he's much much more handsome, and cool, and strong.." you start counting but gojo cuts you off.
"i'm gojo satoru, mind you! the one with six eyes and stuff you know. i'm literally the coolest and the strongest."
"this is why they don't like you back." shoko chuckles and you sigh, putting your book down again. he doesn't look like he'll let you read at all.
"gojo-" "satoru, please. i want my love to call me by my name." "i am not your love, satoru, please leave me alone. i already told you i don't like you." he has called you a sadist multiple times. even 'the cruelest person on earth'.
"you do, actually." he smirks, "you looooove me. how could you not?"
"i currently do not feel anything positive towards you. i might start hating you if you don't get up soon." you'd be surprised how quickly he gets up after that.
"no, please don't! we still have to marry and buy a house with pets and raise kids together-" he gets on his knees and hugs your legs in front of him.
"slow down satoru, we don't even date yet." you laugh at this antics. he's the most stubborn person you've ever met, dedicated to get you to like him romantically. it's not like you really hate him, you sometimes even think you might like him back. just a little bit. but it's fun seeing him like this, so desperate for you. (it makes you feel nice.)
"yet?!" he springs up, grinning from ear to ear. "so we might date in the future?"
"not if you keep doing this."
"what if i take you out to dinner?" you act like you're thinking about it.
"maybe if you also take me to the bookstore later and buy me ice cream."
"GETO, DID YOU HEAR Y/N? we might go on a date!" he jumps on geto, hugging him tight. shoko and you are practically dying of laughter at this point.
"get off of me." geto pushes him away but also smiling, seeing how excited satoru is and happy since two of his close friends are finally about to get together. he's also glad he doesn't have to suffer while watching these moments on first row with shoko. (they don't know it'll be much worse and annoying after you start dating though.)
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☆ hope you enjoyed reading! please feel more than free to leave feedback and have a great day/night!🫶🏻
#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x female reader#gojo satoru x male reader#gojo satoru x gender neutral reader#gojo satoru jjk#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo x female reader#gojo x male reader#gojo x gender neutral reader#gojo x gn!reader#gojo satoru x gn!reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#anime x reader#gojo fluff#gojo satoru fluff#gojo drabbles#gojo satoru drabble#jjk drabbles#jjk season 2#jjk x you#jjk x y/n
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11 yr old me was agnsty as hell.
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JON SNOW ☆ DATING HCS
SFW 💕💕
It would probably take him a while to trust you if you hadn't known him very long.
If you grew up with or close to the Starks he tried to befriend you before Robb did
He would always be scared that he would steal your heart away
You would spend hours mocking the men and women of the courts
When Robert Baratheon came to visit you both sat outside taking the piss out of all the Lords and ladies and any twat who dared speak low of either of you.
Tyrion Lannister defos assumed u were a couple and when you told him otherwise, he just shook his head.
Catelyn would probably despise you for being so close to him.
Ned would love you though, thanking the gods silently that the boy had someone by his side.
He would probably have kissed you before he left for the nights watch and spent his nights wondering whether leaving you was worth it all.
When you eventually found your way back to him it was rather chaotic.
You were probably interrogated by tormund on arrival
Atleast until Jon saw you, never forgetting your face.
You probably punched him square in the face and then proceeded to have a huge, westeros equivalent of Oscar worthy, makeput session infront of everyone.
Ghost, when not growling at random twats, would act like a second protector when Jon wasn't by your side.
Arya either loves you or hates you
Sansa is, just like her father was, happy Jon has someone.
Bran doesn't care. He's too busy wheeling around doing seven eyes Sparrow shit or whatever he called it.
You and Davos defos spend ages tryna talk some sense into him.
He always seems to be holding you in some way
Whether it be your arm, hand, waist. He would probably play with your hands or you hair often.
Is always bloody staring
Like never stops
His eyes are for you and only you
Takes. You. Everywhere.
Like no debates. He goes, you follow. Or vice versa.
He took you with him to meet with ramsay and if he made any comment whatsoever it was straight up a routine by now.
Death stare, holds onto you twelve times tighter, kills the offender within 24 hours.
Loves it when you fall asleep on him because he's happy you feel safe with him.
Head kisses.
Need I say more?
Everywhere anytime.
Head. Fucking. Kisses.
Walking past. Head kiss.
Sat next to him at dinner. Head kiss.
In an extremely serious situation requiring your full attention. Head kiss.
Dying. Head kiss.
It's like his fucking bread and butter.
When you first met daenerys it was bad vibes.
Like very bad.
No clue why she just doesn't sit right with you.
Either grows to love you or ends up hating you with a passion.
No in-between.
He dreams of having a normal life.
He would want three kids, two boys and girl so they could protect their sister.
Maybe another direwolf or four. One for each and one for you.
Can't sleep when you aren't next to him.
Teaches you to sword fight extremely early on in your relationship.
If you were ill or pregnant he would never leave your side.
Never ever ever never.
He's convinced that you could have a hundred children and you would still be the person he loves most in the world.
Would do anything for you.
Minors DNI below this line.
NSFW ❤️🔥❤️���🔥 (implied female reader)
Worships you like no one else
Touching you always.
Passes it off for his hand on your back but in reality he's secretly caressing your ass, or will have his arms under your cloak, passing it off as a hug, and will gently squeeze your boobs.
Neck kisses.
His favourite thing in the world.
Loves to leave marks on you wherever he can.
Has definitely kissed every inch of your body
Gives no fucks about scars or hair or anything of the sort.
Boobs.
Lives laughs loves your boobs.
Will lay with his face buried in them at any time.
Minor inconvenience? Someone was being a twat? He's tired?
Boob pillow.
Will eat you out for hours.
Insatiable.
You have any problems at all? Sit on his face.
If he's had a bad day he will legit just stuff his face between your thighs.
His fave place.
Says that if you suffocated him it would be an amazing way to go.
Probably prefers giving but he will never say no to receiving.
His dick is probs like 6-7 inches.
Takes tormunds advice very seriously.
Loves to see how many fingers you can take before he stuffs you.
Will go for as many rounds as you need.
Always a gentleman, making sure your comfortable and that your satisfied.
Cockwarming he loves.
Cuddles afterwards.
He will slide out of you and pull you onto on him, pulling the blankets up and wrapping his body around yours.
Calls you love but with his gorgeous deep voice.
Has a sexy asf morning voice.
He's so whipped for you he can't function somedays.
#jon snow x reader#jon snow headcanons#jon snow hcs#got x reader#game of thrones x reader#game of thrones#GoT#smut#fluff#hcs#headcannons#jonsnow#aegontargaryen#jonstark
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hi bestie, can i request smth where harry is filming dwd and olivia keeps trying to get at harry and hit on him but he denies her every time and one day where reader comes to set she and harry are both in harry’s trailer but olivia doesn’t know reader is there so she tries hitting on harry again and starts saying rlly inappropriate things and reader hears and puts her in her place and says that if she ever talks to harry in a way other than a precessional way she’ll expose her or something? idk if that made sense haha and harry gets all happy and is like you are my lord and savior 😭 can you make reader a really bad bitch 😭😭 💕
Hi! Yes, so, I’m changing things a bit because I’m personally not a super big fan of bringing Olivia herself into this kind of stuff but I’m absolutely keeping the premise!! Just changing the antagonist to someone fictional instead! Obviously you can still picture her if you’d like but I hope this will be okay and that whoever asked will still enjoy 😭💞
“‘I know exactly where you can stick that can of tuna, Jack-ass.’”
Harry smirks, eyes peering over the top of his script at you. “The line is, ‘Hi, honey, welcome home.’”
“Oh. Weird. I must have gotten a different script cause mine definitely says the other thing,” you reply innocently, batting your eyelashes as he exhales a soft laugh. “Yeah, see…right there. Jack. Ass.”
“Oh, it does, does it?”
“It does. Strange, huh?”
“Uh-huh. Very.”
You bite at your lip to refrain from grinning as you return your eyes to the page. “Okay, well…I think you’re good for tomorrow’s scene. I mean, it’s kind of all about her, anyway, so…no one will really be paying attention to you.”
“Gee, thanks,” he snorts as he straightens up on the small couch, tossing the script to the side.
“Hey, am I wrong?” You blink. “Hello. Florence fucking Pugh is in the same frame, I guarantee you nobody is looking at you.”
“Oh, well, I’m flattered,” he retorts, hand coming up to his chest in faux appreciation. “No, really. Give me another compliment. I think I’m blushing.”
Your eyes roll playfully as you gingerly chuck a water bottle at him. It flies across the tiny trailer and whacks him in the stomach as he flinches, laughing as it falls into his lap. “Hysterical. Truly,” you bite back. “Been a movie star for five minutes and think you’re the shit.”
He tosses his arms along the back of the couch, settling in a bit further as he nods at you. “S’been at least ten minutes, love.”
“Right, and to this day, iCarly is still your best work.”
“…you know what, I’m not even gonna argue with you on that one. I really did shine.”
“Oh, absolutely.”
“Sucked the shit out of that water bottle.”
“You really did.”
“Oscar-worthy, I’d say.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
He eyes you from his spot, sensing your teasing tone, and before you can clock his sneaky intentions, he’s lifting the water bottle into the air, twisting off the cap, and flinging the water at you.
You gasp as the water effectively drenches your hair, face, and chest. You attempt to shield yourself by throwing your arms up, but it’s too late, and Harry lets out a deep, guttural laugh.
“Oh, you dick,” you squeal, immediately standing as you throw him a peeved look. “See, this is why I don’t take you home to my mother.”
He’s wearing a shit-eating grin as he watches you scramble to the bathroom. “Oops.”
“Oops my ass.” You attempt to wring some of the water out of your hair as you glance at your reflection in the tiny mirror. “I can’t go out there and let Chris Pine see me like this!”
Another laugh. “Why not?”
“Because I love him and I have mascara dripping down my face,” you huff, swiping a knuckle under your eye. “Oh, God, this is bad. Okay, gimme five, I gotta reset.”
“Babe,” he calls with another chuckle. “You look fine—”
“Bite me!” you retort quickly before slamming the door shut. “Shit! Where’s my setting powder?”
You hear him snort to himself from the other side but soon turn your attention back to the canvas that he so elegantly ruined.
It had taken you twenty minutes to get the eyeliner wing this sharp.
You frown as you get to work, and for the next couple of minutes, your focus remains on your own reflection as you hear Harry humming to himself on the couch.
And then…the humming stops.
“Hey…?”
“Hey, so sorry to bother you. I just wanted to check in before you leave, make sure you’re doing all right with the revisions.”
You pause, leaning a bit closer to the door as a second voice enters the trailer.
“Oh…yeah. Went over it this afternoon. I like it, it sounds good. I think it’ll be really impactful.”
“Oh, good. Good, yeah. Yeah, I’m really looking forward to watching you and Florence bring it to life. I’ve said it before, but we really are just so lucky to have you both on board.”
You finally recognize the voice, placing it to the face of the film’s director, Angela. And now that your curiosity is satisfied, you return to your task as the conversation continues to slip underneath the door.
“Hey, it’s all thanks to your vision,” Harry is humbly responding. “I just feel lucky to be a part of it.”
A bit of silence as you swipe your lipstick along your bottom lip before you hear the sound of footsteps climbing up the stairs and into the trailer.
“You’re such a doll. No, really, that’s such a kind to say,” Angela gushes. “You know…this whole casting process was really just…it was so stressful there for a minute but after I saw your audition tape, I just knew you’d be our Jack.”
“Listen, I’m just glad it worked out the way it did. It’s kind of nice to dip my toe into this side of the industry and I’ve got a lot of really great mentors to help me along.”
“Oh, absolutely. I mean, we just have such a fantastic cast. You’re in great hands.”
A beat.
“And, you know, I’ve said this before but…if you ever need anything at all, you just need to let me know,” Angela says. “You’re my top priority, and I want to make sure you feel taken care of.”
“Thanks, that’s really—”
Suddenly, it goes quiet. Far too quiet and for a moment, you wonder if they’ve left the trailer altogether.
You step out of the bathroom and glance both ways, just to check and make sure he didn’t leave you behind.
But instead of an empty trailer, you find Harry.
And Angela.
And her tongue.
Down his throat.
Your eyebrows just about fly off your forehead as you clear your throat and call, “I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something?”
Terrified, and a bit pale, Harry leans back and catches your eye, expression frazzled like a deer caught in headlights.
Angela, however, is a bit slower to remove herself from his body, finally stepping back with a bit of a wounded smile. “Oh, my gosh…I’m so sorry. This…this isn’t how I wanted you to find out, I—”
“Find what out?” you ask just as Harry says, “I’m sorry, what?”
She quickly looks between you both, palm hovering over her mouth as if stunned. “Oh! I’m…I’m sorry, I thought you told her.”
“Told me what?” you repeat, stepping closer, and looking to Harry.
Poor thing looks like he’s about to keel over.
“About…our…arrangement,” she answers shyly, and your eyes narrow.
Harry blinks. “We…what? What arrangement, I—”
“Oh. That arrangement. Got it,” you cut in, nodding as you finally put the pieces together.
Both Harry and Angela turn to look at you, surprised.
“Yeah,” you agree, taking another step as you meet her eye. “Yeah, no. Florence told me about this thing you do where you try to fuck your actors and exploit them for fame. Oh, and how your entire marriage is a sham, and you’re trying to get out of it by pretending you were the innocent, bad-ass feminist just trying to do her job when you were blackmailed into sleeping with your costar.”
She swallows as Harry’s jaw nearly drops.
“Oh, she also told me that if I were to find you…arranging yourself on my man, then I should remind you of section 15, paragraph 3 of the contract you signed,” you add, arms crossing over your chest. “Does that…ring any bells?”
Her cheeks flush. “Look, I wasn’t trying to—”
“I’m sure,” you hum. “But you did, and now you’re done. Thank you so much for stopping by. Buh-bye now.”
And with that, you gesture toward the door.
A rather petrified Angela stands to her feet, knees a bit wobbly as she makes her way for the exit.
And just before she can close the door, you call, “Oh, and just a little tip…when you see the officers? Don’t run.”
The door slams shut before you have the chance to see her expression but something tells you…it was everything.
Now, you turn to Harry, still glued to the small sofa. “Anything you have to say for yourself?”
He straightens up, nearly tripping over his tongue as he begins to explain, “I promise, I don’t know what happened, she just put her hand on my thigh and suddenly it was, like, all the way up my thigh, and her mouth was like…right there, and I didn’t know what to do, and I wasn’t sure what was even happening, or if it was part of the script or something, and I—”
You close the gap between you and take his face between your palms. “Harry?”
He winds down to a stop. “…yeah?”
You grin. “I love you.”
Utter relief floods his features as he sighs and melts back into the cushions. “I love you, too. Thank you, by the way. Ironically, she tasted like canned tuna.”
You laugh as you flop down beside him, whacking at his chest on the way down. “Ew. Poor Nick.”
“Right? iCarly would never do this to me.”
For a moment, you can only chuckle, and despite the rather interesting turn of events…you can’t deny your joy.
“No,” you agree with a grin. “No, she would not.”
~ Full Masterlist
~ Other Harry Blurbs
#harry#harry styles#harry Edward styles#harry styles fan#harry styles imagine#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles blurb#harry styles request#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#blurb#request
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Couch surfer in his 30s. Oscar winner in his 40s. Why the whole world wants Taika
**Notes: This is very long post!**
Good Weekend
In his 30s, he was sleeping on couches. By his 40s, he’d directed a Kiwi classic, taken a Marvel movie to billion-dollar success, and won an Oscar. Meet Taika Waititi, king of the oddball – and one of New Zealand’s most original creative exports.
Taika Waititi: “Be a nice person and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole.”
The good news? Taika Waititi is still alive. I wasn’t sure. The screen we were speaking through jolted savagely a few minutes ago, with a cacophonous bang and a confused yelp, then radio silence. Now the Kiwi filmmaker is back, grinning like a loon: “I just broke the f---ing table, bro!”
Come again? “I just smashed this f---ing table and glass flew everywhere. It’s one of those old annoying colonial tables. It goes like this – see that?” Waititi says, holding up a folding furniture leg. “I hit the mechanism and it wasn’t locked. Anyway …”
I’m glad he’s fine. The stuff he’s been saying from his London hotel room could incur biblical wrath. We’re talking about his latest project, Next Goal Wins, a movie about the American Samoa soccer team’s quest to score a solitary goal, 10 years after suffering the worst loss in the game’s international history – a 31-0 ignominy to Australia – but our chat strays into spirituality, then faith, then religion.
“I don’t personally believe in a big guy sitting on a cloud judging everyone, but that’s just me,” Waititi says, deadpan. “Because I’m a grown-up.”
This is the way his interview answers often unfold. Waititi addresses your topic – dogma turns good people bad, he says, yet belief itself is worth lauding – but bookends every response with a conspiratorial nudge, wink, joke or poke. “Regardless of whether it’s some guy living on a cloud, or some other deity that you’ve made up – and they’re all made up – the message across the board is the same, and it’s important: Be a nice person, and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole!”
Not being an arsehole seems to have served Waititi, 48, well. Once a national treasure and indie darling (through the quirky tenderness of his breakout New Zealand films Boy in 2010 and Hunt for the Wilderpeople in 2016), Waititi then became a star of both the global box office (through his 2017 entry into the Marvel Universe, Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion worldwide) and then the Academy Awards (winning the 2020 best adapted screenplay Oscar for his subversive Holocaust dramedy JoJo Rabbit, in which he played an imaginary Hitler).
Waititi playing Adolf Hitler in the 2019 movie JoJo Rabbit. (Alamy)
A handsome devil with undeniable roguish charm, Waititi also slid seamlessly into style-icon status (attending this year’s Met Gala shirtless, in a floor-length gunmetal-grey Atelier Prabal Gurung wrap coat, with pendulous pearl necklaces), as well as becoming his own brand (releasing an eponymous line of canned coffee drinks) and bona fide Hollywood A-lister (he was introduced to his second wife, British singer Rita Ora, by actor Robert Pattinson at a barbecue).
Putting that platform to use, Waititi is an Indigenous pioneer and mentor, too, co-creating the critically acclaimed TV series Reservation Dogs, while co-founding the Piki Films production company, committed to promoting the next generation of storytellers – a mission that might sound all weighty and worthy, yet Waititi’s new wave of First Nations work is never earnest,
always mixing hurt with heart and howling humour.
Waititi with wife Rita Ora at the 2023 Met Gala in May. (Getty Images)
Makes sense. Waititi is a byproduct of “the weirdest coupling ever” – his late Maori father from the Te Whanau-a-Apanui tribe was an artist, farmer and “Satan’s Slaves” bikie gang founder, while his Wellington schoolteacher mum descended from Russian Jews, although he’s not devout about her faith. (“No, I don’t practise,” he confirms. “I’m just good at everything, straight away.”)
He’s remained loyally tethered to his origin story, too – and to a cadre of creative Kiwi mates, including actors Jemaine Clement and Rhys Darby – never forgetting that not long before the actor/writer/producer/director was an industry maven, he was a penniless painter/photographer/ musician/comedian.
With no set title and no fixed address, he’s seemingly happy to be everything, everywhere (to everyone) all at once. “‘The universe’ is bandied around a lot these days, but I do believe in the kind of connective tissue of the universe, and the energy that – scientifically – we are made up of a bunch of atoms that are bouncing around off each other, and some of the atoms are just squished together a bit tighter than others,” he says, smiling. “We’re all made of the same stardust, and that’s pretty special.”
-----------------------------------------------
We’ve caught Waititi in a somewhat relaxed moment, right before the screen actors’ and media artists’ strike ends. He’s sensitive to the struggle but doesn’t deny enjoying the break. “I spent a lot of time thinking about writing, and not writing, and having a nice holiday,” he tells Good Weekend. “Honestly, it was a good chance just to recombobulate.”
Waititi, at right, with Hunt for the Wilderpeople actors, from left, Sam Neill, Rhys Darby and Julian Dennison. (Getty Images)
It’s mid-October, and he’s just headed to Paris to watch his beloved All Blacks in the Rugby World Cup. He’s deeply obsessed with the game, and sport in general. “Humans spend all of our time knowing what’s going to happen with our day. There’s no surprises any more. We’ve become quite stagnant. And I think that’s why people love sport, because of the air of unpredictability,” he says. “It’s the last great arena entertainment.”
The main filmic touchstone for Next Goal Wins (which premieres in Australian cinemas on New Year’s Day) would be Cool Runnings (1993), the unlikely true story of a Jamaican bobsled team, but Waititi also draws from genre classics such as Any Given Sunday and Rocky, sampling trusted tropes like the musical training montage. (His best one is set to Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears.)
Filming in Hawaii was an uplifting experience for the self-described Polynesian Jew. “It wasn’t about death, or people being cruel to each other. Thematically, it was this simple idea, of getting a small win, and winning the game wasn’t even their goal – their goal was to get a goal,” he says. “It was a really sweet backbone.”
Waititi understands this because, growing up, he was as much an athlete as a nerd, fooling around with softball and soccer before discovering rugby league, then union. “There’s something about doing exercise when you don’t know you’re doing exercise,” he enthuses. “It’s all about the fun of throwing a ball around and trying to achieve something together.” (Whenever Waititi is in Auckland he joins his mates in a long-running weekend game of touch rugby. “And then throughout the week I work out every day. Obviously. I mean, look at me.”)
Auckland is where his kids live, too, so he spends as much time there as possible. Waititi met his first wife, producer Chelsea Winstanley, on the set of Boy in 2010, and they had two daughters, Matewa Kiritapu, 8, and his firstborn, Te Kainga O’Te Hinekahu, 11. (The latter is a derivative of his grandmother’s name, but he jokes with American friends that it means “Resurrection of Tupac” or “Mazda RX7″) Waititi and Winstanley split in about 2018, and he married the pop star Ora in 2022.
He offers a novel method for balancing work with parenthood … “Look, you just abandon them, and know that the experience will make them harder individuals later on in life. And it’s their problem,” he says. “I’m going to give them all of the things that they need, and I’m going to leave behind a decent bank account for their therapy, and they will be just like me, and the cycle will continue.”
Jokes aside – I think he’s joking – school holidays are always his, and he brings the girls onto the set of every movie he makes. “They know enough not to get in the way or touch anything that looks like it could kill you, and they know to be respectful and quiet when they need to. But they’re just very comfortable around filmmakers, which I’m really happy about, because eventually I hope they will get into the industry. One more year,” he laughs, “then they can leave school and come work for Dad.”
Theirs is certainly a different childhood than his. Growing up, he was a product of two worlds. His given names, for instance, were based on his appearance at birth: “Taika David” if he looked Maori (after his Maori grandfather) and “David Taika” if he looked Pakeha (after his white grandfather). His parents split when he was five, so he bounced between his dad’s place in Waihau Bay, where he went by the surname Waititi, and his mum, eight hours drive away in Wellington, where he went by Cohen (the last name on his birth certificate and passport).
Waititi was precocious, even charismatic. His mother Robin once told Radio New Zealand that people always wanted to know him, even as an infant: “I’d be on a bus with him, and he was that kind of baby who smiled at people, and next thing you know they’re saying, ‘Can I hold your baby?’ He’s always been a charmer to the public eye.”
He describes himself as a cool, sporty, good-looking nerd, raised on whatever pop culture screened on the two TV channels New Zealand offered in the early 1980s, from M*A*S*H and Taxi to Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson. He was well-read, too. When punished by his mum, he would likely be forced to analyse a set of William Blake poems.
He puts on a whimpering voice to describe their finances – “We didn’t have much monneeey” – explaining how his mum spent her days in the classroom but also worked in pubs, where he would sit sipping a raspberry lemonade, doodling drawings and writing stories. She took in ironing and cleaned houses; he would help out, learning valuable lessons he imparts to his kids. “And to random people who come to my house,” he says. “I’ll say, ‘Here’s a novel idea, wash this dish,’ but people don’t know how to do anything these days.”
“Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met or a story I’ve stolen from someone.” - Taika Waititi
He loved entertaining others, clearly, but also himself, recording little improvised radio plays on a tape deck – his own offbeat versions of ET and Indiana Jones and Star Wars. “Great free stuff where you don’t have any idea what the story is as you’re doing it,” he says. “You’re just sort of making it up and enjoying the freedom of playing god in this world where you can make people and characters do whatever you want.”
His other sphere of influence lay in Raukokore, the tiny town where his father lived. Although Boy is not autobiographical, it’s deeply personal insofar as it’s filmed in the house where he grew up, and where he lived a life similar to that portrayed in the story, surrounded by his recurring archetypes: warm grandmothers and worldly kids; staunch, stoic mums; and silly, stunted men. “Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met,” he says, “or a story I’ve stolen from someone.”
He grew to love drawing and painting, obsessed early on with reproducing the Sistine Chapel. During a 2011 TED Talk on creativity, Waititi describes his odd subject matter, from swastikas and fawns to a picture of an old lady going for a walk … upon a sword … with Robocop. “My father was an outsider artist, even though he wouldn’t know what that meant,” Waititi told the audience in Doha. “I love the naive. I love people who can see things through an innocent viewpoint. It’s inspiring.”
After winning Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award for JoJo Rabbit in 2020. (Getty Images)
It was an interesting time in New Zealand, too – a coming-of-age decade in which the Maori were rediscovering their culture. His area was poor, “but only financially,” he says. “It’s very rich in terms of the people and the culture.” He learned kapa haka – the songs, dances and chants performed by competing tribes at cultural events, or to honour people at funerals and graduations – weddings, parties, anything. “Man, any excuse,” he explains. “A big part of doing them is to uplift your spirits.”
Photography was a passion, so I ask what he shot. “Just my penis. I sent them to people, but we didn’t have phones, so I would print them out, post them. One of the first dick pics,” he says. Actually, his lens was trained on regular people. He watches us still – in airports, restaurants. “Other times late at night, from a tree. Whatever it takes to get the story. You know that.”
He went to the Wellington state school Onslow College and did plays like Androcles and the Lion, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Crucible. His crew of arty students eventually ended up on stage at Bats Theatre in the city, where they would perform haphazard comedy shows for years.
“Taika was always rebellious and wild in his comedy, which I loved,” says his high school mate Jackie van Beek, who became a longtime collaborator, including working with Waititi on a Tourism New Zealand campaign this year. “I remember he went through a phase of turning up in bars around town wearing wigs, and you’d try and sit down and have a drink with him but he’d be doing some weird character that would invariably turn up in some show down the track.”
He met more like-minded peers at Victoria University, including Jemaine Clement (who’d later become co-creator of Flight of the Conchords). During a 2019 chat with actor Elijah Wood, Waititi describes he and Clement clocking one another from opposite sides of the library one day: a pair of Maoris experiencing hate at first sight, based on a mutual suspicion of cultural appropriation. (Clement was wearing a traditional tapa cloth Samoan shirt, and Waititi was like: “This motherf---er’s not Samoan.” Meanwhile, Waititi was wearing a Rastafarian beanie, and Clement was like, “This motherf---er’s not Jamaican.”)
With Jemaine Clement in 2014. (Getty Images)
But they eventually bonded over Blackadder and Fawlty Towers, and especially Kenny Everett, and did comedy shows together everywhere from Edinburgh to Melbourne. Waititi was almost itinerant, spending months at a time busking, or living in a commune in Berlin. He acted in a few small films, and then – while playing a stripper on a bad TV show – realised he wanted to try life behind the camera. “I became tired of being told what to do and ordered around,” he told Wellington’s Dominion Post in 2004. “I remember sitting around in the green room in my G-string thinking, ‘Why am I doing this? Just helping someone else to realise their dream.’ ”
He did two strong short films, then directed his first feature – Eagle vs Shark (2007) – when he was 32. He brought his mates along (Clement, starring with Waititi’s then-girlfriend Loren Horsley), setting something of a pattern in his career: hiring friends instead of constantly navigating new working relationships. “If you look at things I’m doing,” he tells me, “there’s always a few common denominators.”
Sam Neill says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “The basis of it is this: we’re just a little bit crap at things.”
This gang of collaborators shares a common Kiwi vibe, too, which his longtime friend, actor Rhys Darby, once coined “the comedy of the mundane”. Their new TV show, Our Flag Means Death, for example, leans heavily into the mundanity of pirate life – what happens on those long days at sea when the crew aren’t unsheathing swords from scabbards or burying treasure.
Waititi plays pirate captain Blackbeard, centre, in Our Flag Means Death, with Rhys Darby, left, and Rory Kinnear. (Google Images)
Sam Neill, who first met Waititi when starring in Hunt for the Wilderpeople, says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “And I think the basis of it is this,” says Neill. “We’re just a little bit crap at things, and that in itself is funny.” After all, Neill asks, what is What We Do in The Shadows (2014) if not a film (then later a TV show) about a bunch of vampires who are pretty crap at being vampires, living in a pretty crappy house, not quite getting busted by crappy local cops? “New Zealand often gets named as the least corrupt country in the world, and I think it’s just that we would be pretty crap at being corrupt,” Neill says. “We don’t have the capacity for it.”
Waititi’s whimsy also spurns the dominant on-screen oeuvre of his homeland – the so-called “cinema of unease” exemplified by the brutality of Once Were Warriors (1994) and the emotional peril of The Piano (1993). Waititi still explores pathos and pain, but through laughter and weirdness. “Taika feels to me like an antidote to that dark aspect, and a gift somehow,” Neill says. “And I’m grateful for that.”
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Something happened to Taika Waititi when he was about 11 – something he doesn’t go into with Good Weekend, but which he considered a betrayal by the adults in his life. He mentioned it only recently – not the moment itself, but the lesson he learnt: “That you cannot and must not rely on grown-ups to help you – you’re basically in the world alone, and you’re gonna die alone, and you’ve just gotta make it all for yourself,” he told Irish podcast host James Brown. “I basically never forgave people in positions of responsibility.”
What does that mean in his work? First, his finest films tend to reflect the clarity of mind possessed by children, and the unseen worlds they create – fantasies conjured up as a way to understand or overcome. (His mum once summed up the main message of Boy: “The unconditional love you get from your children, and how many of us waste that, and don’t know what we’ve got.”)
Second, he’s suited to movie-making – “Russian roulette with art” – because he’s drawn to disruptive force and chaos. And that in turn produces creative defiance: allowing him to reinvigorate the Marvel Universe by making superheroes fallible, or tell a Holocaust story by making fun of Hitler. “Whenever I have to deal with someone who’s a boss, or in charge, I challenge them,” he told Brown, “and I really do take whatever they say with a pinch of salt.”
It’s no surprise then that Waititi was comfortable leaping from independent films to the vast complexity of Hollywood blockbusters. He loves the challenge of coordinating a thousand interlocking parts, requiring an army of experts in vocations as diverse as construction, sound, art, performance and logistics. “I delegate a lot,” he says, “and share the load with a lot of people.”
“This is a cool concept, being able to afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.” - Taika Waititi
But the buck stops with him. Time magazine named Waititi one of its Most Influential 100 People of 2022. “You can tell that a film was made by Taika Waititi the same way you can tell a piece was painted by Picasso,” wrote Sacha Baron Cohen. Compassionate but comic. Satirical but watchable. Rockstar but auteur. “Actually, sorry, but this guy’s really starting to piss me off,” Cohen concluded. “Can someone else write this piece?”
Directing Chris Hemsworth in 2017 in Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion at the box office. (Alamy)
I’m curious to know how he stays grounded amid such adulation. Coming into the game late, he says, helped immensely. After all, Waititi was 40 by the time he left New Zealand to do Thor: Ragnarok. “If you let things go to your head, then it means you’ve struggled to find out who you are,” he says. “But I’ve always felt very comfortable with who I am.” Hollywood access and acclaim – and the pay cheques – don’t erase memories of poverty, either. “It’s more like, ‘Oh, this is a cool concept, being able to afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.’ ” Small towns and strong tribes keep him in check, too. “You know you can’t piss around and be a fool, because you’re going to embarrass your family,” he says. “Hasn’t stopped me, though.”
Sam Neill says there was never any doubt Waititi would be able to steer a major movie with energy and imagination. “It’s no accident that the whole world wants Taika,” he says. “But his seductiveness comes with its own dangers. You can spread yourself a bit thin. The temptation will be to do more, more, more. That’ll be interesting to watch.”
Indeed, I find myself vicariously stressed out over the list of potential projects in Waititi’s future. A Roald Dahl animated series for Netflix. An Apple TV show based on the 1981 film Time Bandits. A sequel to What We Do In The Shadows. A reboot of Flash Gordon. A gonzo horror comedy, The Auteur, starring Jude Law. Adapting a cult graphic novel, The Incal, as a feature. A streaming series based on the novel Interior Chinatown. A film based on a Kazuo Ishiguro bestseller. Plus bringing to life the wildly popular Akira comic books. Oh, and for good measure, a new instalment of Star Wars, which he’s already warned the world will be … different.
“It’s going to change things,” he told Good Morning America. “It’s going to change what you guys know and expect.”
Did I say I was stressed for Waititi? I meant physically sick.
“Well…” he qualifies, “some of those things I’m just producing, so I come up with an idea or someone comes to me with an idea, and I shape how ‘it’s this kind of show’ and ‘here’s how we can get it made.’ It’s easier for me to have a part in those things and feel like I’ve had a meaningful role in the creative process, but also not having to do what I’ve always done, which is trying to control everything.”
In the 2014 mockumentary horror film What We Do in the Shadows, which he co-directed with Jemaine Clement. (Alamy)
What about moving away from the niche New Zealand settings he represented so well in his early work? How does he stay connected to his roots? “I think you just need to know where you’re from,” he says, “and just don’t forget that.”
They certainly haven’t forgotten him.
Jasmin McSweeney sits in her office at the New Zealand Film Commission in Wellington, surrounded by promotional posters Waititi signed for her two decades ago, when she was tasked with promoting his nascent talent. Now the organisation’s marketing chief, she talks to me after visiting the heart of thriving “Wellywood”, overseeing the traditional karakia prayer on the set of a new movie starring Geoffrey Rush.
Waititi isn’t the first great Kiwi filmmaker – dual Oscar-winner Jane Campion and blockbuster king Peter Jackson come to mind – yet his particular ascendance, she says, has spurred unparalleled enthusiasm. “Taika gave everyone here confidence. He always says, ‘Don’t sit around waiting for people to say, you can do this.’ Just do it, because he just did it. That’s the Taika effect.”
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Taika David Waititi is known for wearing everything from technicolour dreamcoats to pineapple print rompers, and today he’s wearing a roomy teal and white Isabel Marant jumper. The mohair garment has the same wispy frizz as his hair, which curls like a wave of grey steel wool, and connects with a shorn salty beard.
A stylish silver fox, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if he suddenly announced he was launching a fashion label. He’s definitely a commercial animal, to the point of directing television commercials for Coke and Amazon, along with a fabulous 2023 spot for Belvedere vodka starring Daniel Craig. He also joined forces with a beverage company in Finland (where “taika” means “magic”) to release his coffee drinks. Announcing the partnership on social media, he flagged that he would be doing more of this kind of stuff, too (“Soz not soz”).
Waititi has long been sick of reverent portrayals of Indigenous people talking to spirits.
There’s substance behind the swank. Fashion is a creative outlet but he’s also bought sewing machines in the past with the intention of designing and making clothes, and comes from a family of tailors. “I learnt how to sew a button on when I was very young,” he says. “I learnt how to fix holes or patches in your clothes, and darn things.”
And while he gallivants around the globe watching Wimbledon or modelling for Hermès at New York Fashion Week, all that glamour belies a depth of purpose, particularly when it comes to Indigenous representation.
There’s a moment in his new movie where a Samoan player realises that their Dutch coach, played by Michael Fassbender, is emotionally struggling, and he offers a lament for white people: “They need us.” I can’t help but think Waititi meant something more by that line – maybe that First Nations people have wisdom to offer if others will just listen?
“Weeelllll, a little bit …” he says – but from his intonation, and what he says next, I’m dead wrong. Waititi has long been sick of reverent portrayals of Indigenous people talking to kehua (spirits), or riding a ghost waka (phantom canoe), or playing a flute on a mountain. “Always the boring characters,” he says. “They’ve got no real contemporary relationship with the world, because they’re always living in the past in their spiritual ways.”
A scene from Next Goal Wins, filmed earlier this year. (Alamy)
He’s part of a vanguard consciously poking fun at those stereotypes. Another is the Navajo writer and director Billy Luther, who met Waititi at Sundance Film Festival back in 2003, along with Reservation Dogs co-creator Sterlin Harjo. “We were this group of outsiders trying to make films, when nobody was really biting,” says Luther. “It was a different time. The really cool thing about it now is we’re all working. We persevered. We didn’t give up. We slept on each other’s couches and hung out. It’s like family.”
Waititi has power now, and is known for using Indigenous interns wherever possible (“because there weren’t those opportunities when I was growing up”), making important introductions, offering feedback on scripts, and lending his name to projects through executive producer credits, too, which he did for Luther’s new feature film, Frybread Face and Me (2023).
He called Luther back from the set of Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) to offer advice on working with child actors – “Don’t box them into the characters you’ve created,” he said, “let them naturally figure it out on their own” – but it’s definitely harder to get Waititi on the phone these days. “He’s a little bitch,” Luther says, laughing. “Nah, there’s nothing like him. He’s a genius. You just knew he was going to be something. I just knew it. He’s my brother.“
I’ve been asked to explicitly avoid political questions in this interview, probably because Waititi tends to back so many causes, from child poverty and teenage suicide to a campaign protesting offshore gas and oil exploration near his tribal lands. But it’s hard to ignore his recent Instagram post, sharing a viral video about the Voice to Parliament referendum starring Indigenous Aussie rapper Adam Briggs. After all, we speak only two days after the proposal is defeated. “Yeah, sad to say but, Australia, you really shat the bed on that one,” Waititi says, pausing. “But go see my movie!”
About that movie – the early reviews aren’t great. IndieWire called it a misfire, too wrapped in its quirks to develop its arcs, with Waititi’s directorial voice drowning out his characters, while The Guardian called it “a shoddily made and strikingly unfunny attempt to tell an interesting story in an uninteresting way”. I want to know how he moves past that kind of criticism. “For a start, I never read reviews,” he says, concerned only with the opinion of people who paid for admission, never professional appraisals. “It’s not important to me. I know I’m good at what I do.”
Criticism that Indigenous concepts weren’t sufficiently explained in Next Goal Wins gets his back up a little, though. The film’s protagonist, Jaiyah Saelua, the first transgender football player in a FIFA World Cup qualifying match, is fa’afafine – an American Samoan identifier for someone with fluid genders – but there wasn’t much exposition of this concept in the film. “That’s not my job,” Waititi says. “It’s not a movie where I have to explain every facet of Samoan culture to an audience. Our job is to retain our culture, and present a story that’s inherently Polynesian, and if you don’t like it, you can go and watch any number of those other movies out there, 99 per cent of which are terrible.”
*notes: (there is video clip in the article)
Waititi sounds momentarily cranky, but he’s mostly unflappable and hilarious. He’s the kind of guy who prefers “Correctumundo bro!” to “Yes”. When our video connection is too laggy, he plays up to it by periodically pretending to be frozen, sitting perfectly still, mouth open, his big shifting eyeballs the only giveaway.
He’s at his best on set. Saelua sat next to him in Honolulu while filming the joyous soccer sequences. “He’s so chill. He just let the actors do their thing, giving them creative freedom, barely interjecting unless it was something important. His style matches the vibe of the Pacific people. We’re a very funny people. We like to laugh. He just fit perfectly.”
People do seem to love working alongside him, citing his ability to make productions fresh and unpredictable and funny. Chris Hemsworth once said that Waititi’s favourite gag is to “forget” that his microphone is switched on, so he can go on a pantomime rant for all to hear – usually about his disastrous Australian lead actor – only to “remember” that he’s wired and the whole crew is listening.
“I wouldn’t know about that, because I don’t listen to what other people say about anything – I’ve told you this,” Waititi says. “I just try to have fun when there’s time to have fun. And when you do that, and you bring people together, they’re more willing to go the extra mile for you, and they’re more willing to believe in the thing that you’re trying to do.”
Yes, he plays music between takes, and dances out of his director’s chair, but it’s really all about relaxing amid the immense pressure and intense privilege of making movies. “Do you know how hard it is just to get anything financed or green-lit, then getting a crew, getting producers to put all the pieces together, and then making it to set?” Waititi asks. “It’s a real gift, even to be working, and I feel like I have to remind people of that: enjoy this moment.”
Source: The Age
By: Konrad Marshall (December 1, 2023)
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Bound by Blood- Part 2
Part 1
Hero thrashed in their abductor’s iron-grip as they took them far away from the crime scene.
“If you can’t behave, I’ll have to indulge myself now,” Supervillain’s voice drawled.
Hero glared up from their spot in Supervillain’s arms. They blew a puff of frost into their face, hoping to disorient them. Supervillain only chuckled.
“My darling, do you really think your feeble cold will faze me?”
Without warning, Supervillain bit down into Hero’s neck; Hero cried out in pain. Supervillain drank a generous amount of blood from their system. Hero’s vision slid in and out of focus, and their limbs quickly fell limp.
“Sleep now,” Supervillain’s voice rumbled distantly, “I’ll take care of everything.”
Despite their efforts to do otherwise, Hero was quickly lulled to sleep.
…
When Hero woke up, they felt the warm embrace of silk sheets and a plush comforter. They opened their eyes to a grand bedroom. They sat up, rubbing their eyes. They immediately started scanning the room for any escape routes. There was a large window on one wall, with the curtains drawn shut. Hero clambered out of bed and scrambled over to it. The window had been tinted to let in the least amount of sunlight, and worse, there were bars over it.
“Enjoying the scenery?”
Hero nearly jumped out of their skin, whipping around to face Supervillain.
“Are you frightened?” Supervillain asked with a smirk and a tilt of their head.
“No,” Hero lied.
Supervillain laughed, a chilling sound that sent an unnatural shiver down Hero’s spine.
“Little Hero,” they said, stalking forward, “I can hear your heart rate- it’s beating faster than I can run. You’re shaking- and I know that your cryogenic makeup prevents you from getting hypothermic.”
Supervillain now stood inches from Hero’s face. They tilted their chin up to meet their gaze.
“But most of all- your eyes. They give away your fear,” they said, “such pretty eyes, especially so when they’re glazed over from blood loss.”
“Y-you’ve made your point, I’m scared,” Hero admitted, “what do you want?”
Supervillain ran a hand through Hero’s hair.
“You’ll find out soon enough,” they hummed, “first I have to get you ready.”
“Ready?”
“For your appearance of course,” Supervillain said, “what good is an ultimatum without the leverage?”
In a blink of an eye, Supervillain had swept Hero up and had deposited them in a different room- a cell, to be exact.
“I do hate to put you in such deplorable conditions, but we have to make this believable.”
Supervillain quickly manhandled Hero into a chair and wrapped them tightly in thick, coarse ropes. They shoved a gag into their mouth and turned on a camera.
“Try to look frightened, my dear, your performance is important,” Supervillain said, “now, how do I work this thing-”
Supervillain fought with the camera for a little bit until it snapped a picture of Hero. Hero blinked against the flash.
“Ugh, human technology, our helper and our reckoning,” Supervillain said, looking at the picture.
Supervillain quickly untied Hero and removed their gag.
“You were wonderful, Hero,” Supervillain said, patting them on the head, “maybe not Oscar-worthy, but a bumbling fool like Detective should be convinced.”
“What are you going to do with that?” Hero asked, standing up.
“Oh, the typical things: ensure immunity, receive control of the city, maybe demand a nice bottle of wine for us to share, though I don’t touch the stuff personally… yes, I think all that would be quite nice.”
“The city isn’t going to hand over control just because you kidnapped me!” Hero said incredulously.
“Maybe,” Supervillain agreed, “but it would be a shame if Detective had your blood on their hands because they refused to comply.”
Hero froze in place. Supervillain laughed.
“Oh, my darling,” they said, “I’m not actually going to kill you, I would never even dream of such a thing, but the city doesn’t need to know that. And now with you out of the way, I can easily remove anyone who opposes me. When a city has had a hero to protect them for so long, they forget how to protect themselves, and I’m very much counting on that.”
Part 3
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hiiiii!!! can I request headcanons for tr with ran, izana, Mikey and Chifuyu where they are asked by their s/o parent/s to break up with them because of the danger they bring being a delinquent? ( Think when Hinatas father asked Takemichi to break up with her to keep her safe ) tyyy!!!!
𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄!𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐲, 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮, 𝐈𝐳𝐚𝐧𝐚, 𝐑𝐚𝐧
╰┈➤ . . . 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞
╰┈➤ . . . 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: 𝚃𝚘𝚔𝚢𝚘 𝚁𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜
╰┈➤ . . . 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝙼𝚊𝚗𝚓𝚒𝚛𝚘 "𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢" 𝚂𝚊𝚗𝚘, 𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚢𝚞 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚘, 𝙸𝚣𝚊𝚗𝚊 𝙺𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚠𝚊, 𝚁𝚊𝚗 𝙷𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚒
╰┈➤ . . . 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝚃𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝚄𝚗𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚎𝚝, 𝙼𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚔𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐
╰┈➤ . . . 𝐓𝐲𝐩𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜
╰┈➤ . . . 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: Oh yeah I remember that scene, Hina gave Takemichi a good beating too, thank God they got back together cuz I was STRESSING
-> 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 "𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐲" 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨
When Mikey got called by your dad he expected it to be something about marriage.
He thought he'd have to make the first move but you already told your parents and all that? How cute of his darling~
Though he'd rather get married a little bit later when everything is in order rather than right now but engagement is always a good option!
Mikey was fully confident about everything only for his happiness to crash down when your father told him to break up with you.
Mikey will stay quiet for a few seconds before speaking again since he'd like to think that was just his ears hearing stupid stuff.
"Hah... I don't think I heard that right... Could you repeat yourself?"
Mikey would softly laugh, hoping it was some sick twisted joke, until realizing what he heard was correct. And that your father was being very serious.
All emotion will drain from Mikey's face as he looks at your dad when he says it's for your own good -gonna creep old pops out too for sure-
Honestly he has half the mind to beat your dad to death right then and there but held himself back. That annoying man is still your dad after all... But would you miss him?
Mikey doesn't listen to reason when it comes to you so he just got up and left without another word.
Immediately calling you over to meet with him and when you arrive he's going to look at you with such an empty yet hurt look.
"Do you... Hate me that much [Y/N]? Was I that scary to the point you can't even tell me you want to break up with me on your own?"
Yes he's kinda feeling a little insecure and needs an answer from you to save the little sanity he has.
You best either love this man or be an Oscar worthy actress and say yes otherwise you WILL be kidnapped and it's not going to be pretty for you or your family.
But if those two things apply to you and you reassured Mikey with a hug and kiss then Mikey might calm down and not go in a homicidal rage towards your dad and whatever poor soul blocks his way.
Yeah he'll continue to date you and he doesn't give a fuck about what anyone says. You better not miss one date or meet up because he will blame your father about it.
Have your father ground you once to not see Mikey and Mikey will break into your house through the front door like he owns the place and take you back. Gonna drag you out right in front of your dad's eyes too and DARE him to do something about it.
Let's just hope your father is dealing with Toman Mikey before all that shit happened because otherwise if he tries to stop this menace your dad boutta be put in the news as an unfortunately dead victim of a mysterious murderer.
God forbid if it was any other Mikey, your dad would've been dead the moment he told Mikey to break up with you.
"Telling me to break up with my angel... If you try to keep them away from me again I don't care if you're their family, I WILL kill you."
-> 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨
Chifuyu was super nervous when he got a call from your mother to meet up with him.
Of course he tries his best to seem as a good boyfriend when you introduced him to your mom, but the anxiety will start to eat up at him from the inside and Chifuyu will begin to think your mom is going to tell him to break up with you even if she started off the conversation with a smile and a pleasant greeting.
But when your mom did in fact tell him that Chifuyu might as well had shut down for a few minutes.
He looked so upset, broken, close to tears even.
Promising to your mom that he'll so better in hopes if saving this situation.
"I... I'm sorry if I offended you or [Y/N] in any way! I can be better for them, I promise! Just because I'm a delinquent doesn't mean I don't love them..."
But your mom just wouldn't budge.
And Chifuyu found it annoying... Really annoying and irritating. He'd rather die before going out like that.
Who does your mom think she is!? Sure she may be your parent but if she was a good one she would see that you and Chifuyu are meant to be.
Chifuyu agreed at first because it was "for your own good." so he could drop your mom's guard and just leave before causing a scene.
Then he called you over alone and boy you were met with Chifuyu crying, begging and looking so broken you can't help but feel bad for him.
Twisting her words into a more hurtful context and even lying about a few things when he explained the situation.
"I don't want to break up [Y/N], I love you too much! B-but your mom said it's for your own good... C-can't I please do anything to stop it? Please tell me what to do [Y/N]... I don't want to break up with you..."
Now you get upset and angry at your mom, sparking a full on argument between the two of you it was just what Chifuyu would want.
Better yet if the argument was so heated to the point you don't want to be home anymore, you can always stay over at Chifuyu's place, his mom wouldn't mind either!
... That man will start instigating shit, now his own mom gonna call your mom and talk about that bullshit, does it really matter if he's a delinquent when he and you love each other so much?
All your neighbors will be against your mom because Chifuyu is petty enough to make her life harder, by spreading rumors especially and making your mom act out towards them for the smallest things.
Maybe even drive her to the point of depression and suicide if she's so persistent on keeping you away from him. But if she agrees to just let Chifuyu and you be he might forgive her.
Of course he makes sure you never learn of what truly happened. Won't let you move out either.
Might use this incident to his advantage and guilt trip you if you act out.
No one and nothing will separate you from him, not even your parents.
"Your mom hasn't called again?... Do... Do you think she even cares about you? She's so mean... But it's alright [Y/N], you can stay with me all you want."
-> 𝐈𝐳𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚
I know it's gonna take both of your parents strength and bravery combined to call/visit this man, tell him who they were and ask to meet up because of his reputation.
But of course when Izana learned who they were he welcomed them with open arms, barely giving them any trouble -Izana already knew who they were just by a single look, obviously he'd spy on you and have information on your parents-
He should be kind to his future in-laws after all. They got sat down and were served food and drinks of high quality too.
Another thing that makes him and Mikey brothers, adopted or no: they both think it's a meeting about taking your relationship further into an engagement then marriage.
But why weren't you with them? Were you too shy to be here? Izana thought it was adorable.
Only for Izana to then stop and stare when him breaking up with you was demanded of him instead, all emotion draining from his face before he composed himself instead of throwing a punch.
Looks like your parents had the gall to come and command him of that... Why didn't they tell you you to do it? Izana knew it was because you didn't want to break up with him so why were your parents deciding for you?
Izana smiles and drinks whatever he ordered, staying quiet and blocking whatever reason your parents were trying to get through him before standing up and speaking with a firm tone despite his small smile.
"You are my darling's family and I know how important family is, so because of that I am allowing you a few minutes to think and retract that statement if you know what's best for you. I'll just go for a short walk and I'll be back, hopefully until then you'll be in your right minds."
Izana gave them a chance because they're your family.
But he already fucking hates them so much.
As soon as he went on that "short walk" with Kakucho following worriedly, the closest thing to him, no matter human or object, will be met with a malicious and life threatened beating.
The sheer anger and disdain Izana feels at the thought of someone telling him to break up with you was unmatched. Your parents no less! People who should know what's best for you- and what's best for you is him, it's Izana and no one else.
So why were your parents so stupid and frustrating.
Kakucho had to actually give you a call and then give the phone to Izana for him to stop having a malicious meltdown.
Izana, of course, was calmed down just by hearing your sweet voice telling him happily about what you were doing... Though he does have a few of his men following you around and he'll get the report at the end of the day anyways. Not to mention the tracker he has placed on you.
So within just a few minutes he was smiling genuinely again.
"Thank you for letting me hear your voice [Y/N]... Meet up with me later? How could I deny that?~ I'll be sure to come pick you up."
Now Izana was in a good mood after hearing your voice. And it will just be better when he goes back to check on your parents and hear them say they were wrong about what they said.
Except they DIDN'T do that...
God- were your parents always this cruel? Not letting you be with Izana who loves you so much? Have you suffered under their wrong and harsh rules without telling Izana because you didn't want to bother him?
So the simple report of you having a normal family life was wrong, Izana will be sure to punish whoever made such a grave mistake.
Oh his poor sweet darling, you should learn to rely on him more... And he knows just the way to do that but first he needs to get rid of some obstacles.
Your parents might think the sad, hopeless and dejected expression on Izana's face is because he's making peace with the decision of needing to let you go for your own good.
Then realization dawns on them when Izana simply opens his hand and Kakucho gives him a gun.
Not hesitating to kill your parents at all.
Now that the obstacles were gone you could just rely on Izana instead.
"I gave you a chance to correct your mistake but it seems like disobedient dogs don't know how to follow orders... You must've made my darling suffer so much, I won't allow that to happen any further. But don't worry! This is for [Y/N]'s own good so you understand right?~"
-> 𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢
Ran, of course, saw it coming.
With his reputation and power he'd guess your parents would either force the two of you to stop dating or play nice and pretend he doesn't have a criminal record because they're scared.
And unfortunately for him it seems that your parents are good people who don't want you in any danger.
So when he was called to meet with them Ran was casual and smiling, like he didn't know what was about to happen.
Of course he barely acted surprised when your parents told him to break up with you, just focused on finishing whatever dessert or drink he order.
Ran looked all thoughtful before sighing helplessly and smiling at them.
"No ♡"
He then got up and left, leaving them flabbergasted.
Of course Ran knows that's not enough to make them back off when he saw how uncomfortable you started to look during dates.
Have your parents switched their target to you instead and now forcing you to break up with him?
Ran had to laugh at how unwilling you were to follow your parents orders. Did you like him that much? Adorable~
Still Ran can't let that slide, he doesn't give a fuck about what they think of him but to actually put you through stress too? Unacceptable.
Being the considering -and manipulative- boyfriend he is, Ran will start comforting you, possibly treating you even better than before and willing to lose sleep because of it, all and all just making you see clearly what an amazing boyfriend he is.
How could your parents want you to break up with Ran when he's so caring.
"I'll never back down sweetheart, nothing can keep me away from you... I'll find a way to fix this, so trust me. Now quit stressing and let's enjoy this date okay?~"
On the other hand, the life of your parents might've gotten worse.
Roppongi is a nightmare for them and there's even people following them everywhere, not just the Haitani's controlled area.
In some days your parents are always somehow bumping into rude, annoying and dangrous looking people.
While some other days they're helped and saved by people who very explicitly say it's because they're the parents of Ran's lover. Even Rindou helps them sometimes clearly stating it's because they'll be in-laws in the future.
But if your parents still don't get the hint and back off that ridiculous proposal they'll find themselves in the hospital because they got viciously attacked.
Of course as your boyfriend, Ran will go there to check on them so you won't be bothered with whatever you were doing.
And he'll give them a deal, either stop trying to break up the two of you or suffer the consequences for messing with Ran and if they still have the audacity to do what they want the next thing they'll be laying in will be a coffin not a hospital bed.
"I can make your life very easy or very hard so choose wisely, I'm never this patient with anyone else but I'll give you a pass since you're my darling's parents... Then again why would they need you when they have me~"
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere headcanons#yandere tokyo revengers#yandere tokyo revengers x reader#yandere tokyo rev#yandere tokrev#yandere mikey#yandere manjiro sano#yandere chifuyu#yandere chifuyu matsuno#yandere izana#yandere izana kurokawa#yandere ran haitani
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Thursdays | Eddie Munson x Bitchy Reader
summary: This follows the events of part 2 directly. Eddie and reader are enemies who hate fuck.
1,900+ words
warnings: 18+ only, minors dni, swearing, name calling, mention of drugs, reference to roofies, enemies to lovers fuck buddies, rough sex, p in v with a condom, sex in a semi-public place, ANGST, female reader
Series Masterlist
It had been less than 24 hours since you left Eddie's after a quick detour to the pharmacy. The usual routine goes something like screw Eddie until you're both exhausted, go home, shower and then continue to ignore his presence the following day.
So with these two things considered why has Eddie Munson been staring at you with his ridiculous baby cow eyes throughout the whole day? No one else had really noticed thankfully, except Chrissy.
"What did you do to that poor boy last night?" Chrissy asked as she followed Eddie's burning gaze across the canteen straight to the back of your head.
"I swear, I didn't do anything."
Chrissy shakes her head, "No, somethings up. Did you guys do butt stuff?!"
"Chrissy I am begging you to please shut the fuck up." You manage to speak through gritted teeth, pointedly looking at the rest of the table who are all in earshot of your conversation.
"Oh right. Sorry." Chrissy then speaks louder, "Hey, do you have that textbook I leant you last week?"
"What textbook? What are you talking about?"
"You know, the physics textbook that you said you would bring in for me today?" Chrissy's eyes are about to pop out of her skull as she gives you a stare so intense it rivals Eddie's.
"Ohh, yes I have the textbook, I think I left it in my car."
"Let's go for a walk."
Neither of your performances were particularly Oscar worthy but thankfully they were all discussing Jason's party on Saturday so no one paid much attention to you both leaving.
The parking lot was virtually empty so Chrissy rounds on you the second you were outside,
“Spill.”
“Nothing to spill Chrissy, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Just a small hiccup.”
“A hiccup?”
“Turns out he’s not so hot on date checking condoms.”
“And?”
“It split?”
Chrissy starts laughing, “Oh, my god. I can’t believe I’m going to be an auntie to a little Munson.”
“Fuck off, that’s not happening. Morning after pill.”
"If it works."
"So not funny, Chrissy."
"That doesn’t explain why he’s looking at you so weirdly.”
“I don’t know, maybe the freak is hoping I didn’t take it. He made a comment about wanting to see me with a small bump in the uniform.”
Chrissy is helpless with laughter as the bell rings, in fact your whole walk to Spanish is accompanied by a soundtrack of snickers.
Your usual desk mate is back so Eddie is forced to his normal seat at the back of the classroom, its not much of a reprieve since you can feel his stare burning a hole through your head. Determined to keep ignoring him, you don’t turn, you stay focused on your lesson. Until a balled up piece of paper smacks into the back of your head, you whip round, ready to speak but your teacher beats you to it, stooping down to pick up the ball of paper,
“Mr Munson, something you’d like to share with the class?” You hold your breath as the ball of paper is unraveled, your mind spirals as you contemplate all the incriminating things Eddie could have possibly written,
“Please focus on your work instead of distracting students who have a hope of passing this year.” The ball of paper is thrown into the recycling bin, evidently blank of any words. Eddie fidgets some but returns to his work. He’s first out of the door when the bell rings, and you begin to relax, thinking maybe he’s just been messing with you. You catch up with Chrissy in the hall and begin your walk to the next lesson, when you are suddenly yanked from the hall and into a closet.
“Okay you are seriously pissing me off now, what the fuck do you want Eddie?”
Eddie chews his cheek, “Hi?”
“You have not been staring at me like a psycho all day and grabbing me into a closet to just say hi. Is this about last night? I took the pill when I got home.”
“Uh, no not about that. Glad to hear it though, your body your choice, girl power.” Eddie is being infinitely more awkward than usual.
“What is it then? You’ve got like a minute before I’m late.”
“Are you going to Jason’s party this Saturday?”
“Please. Please tell me you are not about to fucking ask me to bring you to that party.”
“No, I was more wondering if I could convince you not to go.”
“And do what instead? Sit in on your fucking d&d game? Hang out in the trailer watching movies? Piss off. Why can’t I go?”
“Some of the guys were, uh, placing an order.”
“Okay?” Drugs were commonplace at Jason’s parties, it wasn’t exactly some huge secret.
“Some of that shit I’m not going to supply. But I know that there are some dealers who don’t exactly have any moral codes.”
“Eddie. Everyone knows there are drugs at parties, I’ve taken drugs at parties. I really don’t get why you’re freaking out about this. It’s not like I’m your girlfriend, we’re not even friends.”
“Okay fine, just. Watch your drinks ‘kay? Don’t let anyone get your drinks.” Eddie offers you a weak smile and you rolls your eyes,
“Do you think I’m stupid Eddie? Let me tell you someth-”
The second bill trills outside.
“Shit, now I’m late.”
“So ditch?”
“Its this attitude that’s the reason you’re going to miss graduating again.”
“You wound me. C’mon I’m sure the two of us can find something fun to do instead of going to those boring lessons.” Eddie steps closer to you,
“We’re not fucking on school property.” You open the door but Eddie easily shuts it against your strength.
“Okay, so what is your excuse going to be for being so late? Plus if people happen to look out of the window and see us leaving this closet together they’ll know. They’ll know that you’re my easy slut.” Eddie whispers the words you spoke last night against your ear, the darkness in his voice making you shiver.
“You’re such an asshole.”
“That’s a yes then.” Eddie picks you up, big hands cupping your thighs as he places you to sit on a cabinet. You go to start taking your uniform off and he shakes his head,
“No time for that.”
“Liar, you just want to fuck me in my cheerleader uniform.”
“Guilty.” As he speaks Eddie is undoing his jeans with one hand and teasing you through your underwear with the other, his skilled fingers tracing circles around your clit as you shut your eyes and lean back against the wall. You hiss at the sudden cold feeling as Eddie’s rings touch your sensitive skin when he pulls your underwear to the side, now teasing your bare pussy with his cock.
“You’d better have a condom with you.”
“Hmm, what if I want to try bareback with you?” Eddie whispers in your ear,
“Absolutely fucking not.” You tense up and begin to push him away, closing your legs.
“Relax. I was kidding.” Eddie rolls his eyes at you as he rummages through his wallet to find a condom, before he can rip it open you snatch it from his hands and eye the date.
“We’re not having a repeat of last night.” You glare at him as you return the satisfactorily dated condom to him, “Also its bad to keep them in wallets.”
“Jesus christ, do you ever shut up?” Eddie grunts as he rolls the condom on and pulls your body flush against his, his cock immediately bottoming out in you, earning a quiet whimper from you in response to the sudden fullness. Eddie gives you a moment to adjust and places his hand over your mouth with a cheeky grin as he starts to roughly pound into you, making you moan loudly against his hand.
“Such a good little slut for me, taking this big cock instead of going to a boring lesson.” Eddie purrs at you quietly, eyes focused on how good his dick looks covered in your slick every time he withdraws. He looks away for a second just to admire how undone you’re becoming, he can feel your drool against his palm, hear your muffled cries. He takes his hand away from your mouth and shushes you,
“Naughty girl better be quiet, otherwise someone might come looking for those pretty little sounds you’re making and see you getting fucked by the freak in your uniform.” You bite your lip as he starts rubbing your clit with a smug smirk on his face, “Am I still bad at this?” His thrusts do not falter even for a second as he waits for your answer,
“ah, uh... fucking... awful.” You manage to pant out unconvincingly as Eddie laughs quietly,
“Aw, maybe I should stop if this is so terrible for you.”
You shake your head frantically, “n,no stop...ping. Practice.”
“If you weren’t such a bitch I’d say you look cute when you’re begging me not to stop fucking you.” Eddie is picking up the pace, feeling how close you’re getting by how tight your walls are around his cock, hands pulling up your top so he can watch your tits bounce with every thrust and he groans at the sports bra he uncovers,
“Hate these fucking things. Keeps you far too un-bouncy.” Eddie unclasps it with ease, not removing it just pulling it below your tits so he can get his favorite view, “You like being my little cock sleeve don’t you?”
“ ‘m not yours.”
“No?” Eddie slows his thrusts, a small smile on his face,
“N-no, I’ll never be yours. T-this is all there is.”
“So I really can’t make you not go to that stupid party on Saturday?”
You shake your head, “An’ you can’t stop me from fucking someone else at the party.”
Eddie grabs your jaw angrily, almost possessively,
“Then I’ll just have to fucking ruin you for anyone else then.” He pulls you off the cabinet and turns you around, forcing you to bend at the waist over the cabinet and wastes no time in slamming back into you, hands gripping your skirt so tight you faintly hear some threads breaking. You start to moan in spite of yourself, volume increasing the closer you get to finishing, everything around you starting to fade away,
“Fucking shit, shut up!” Eddie hisses as he sticks his fingers in your mouth, muffling the sounds elicited by you, with his other hand he’s rubbing your clit roughly, until finally your legs are shaking, you’re biting down on his fingers and clamping around his cock while your orgasm takes over, your still shaking slightly when Eddie lets off a string of curse words as he cums, his cock twitching violently against your sore walls. He pulls out slowly, determined to make you really feel the loss of him. Once he’s out, he tucks your underwear back over your sore and soaked pussy.
“Think you’ll be able to walk for the rest of the day?” He teases you as you straighten up and readjust your clothes.
“Fucker. You know I have practice after school today.”
“I do indeed.”
The bell chimes from the hallway and you step out into the wave of students that passes. Eddie waits a few more minutes, straightening his clothes, waiting for the chatter to quieten. Once he’s certain no one who saw you leave the closet would see him leaving the same closet he steps out.
#eddie munson#eddie fucking munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson smut#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fic#eddie munson fic#eddie stranger things#stranger things 4#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson imagine#munson-trashcan#eddie x bitchy!reader#eddie munson enemies to lovers#eddie munson fuck buddies
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Okay so sorry for this ask. I just had this random thought blurb and wanted to share with someone. But like imagine:
Lando decides to suggest to Oscar that it would be funny if they get married in Vegas. Cause like that would be hilarious. Except Oscar looks him dead in the eye and says “I can’t, I’m already married” before walking away.
So of course Lando has a major freak out trying to figure out who he married and ropes the whole grid in the search. There is a strong rumor it’s Daniel (which Daniel started cause it’s funny). There is also the rumor that is Taylor Swift (that’s Este trying to annoy Nando). And of course there are suggestions of Fred, Liam, and even Arthur (which Pierre and Charles’s shut down right away because they would have to kill him).
And everyone keeps asking Logan if he knows and he just keeps laughing it off. But he’s also it’s a sad laugh because he’s a little sad to thing that nobody thinks he could be worthy of Oscar, even if he agrees.
And of course this pisses Oscar off. Because his husband is the sweetest man around. Because who the fuck cares if he is having a bad season when he is always there to make sure Oscar does things like eat breakfast or makes sure he isn’t too hard on himself.
So when the grid decides to do a group breakfast the morning after in Vegas (to compare horror stories). Oscar marks the shit out of Logan as they show up with their wedding rings.
Anon, never apologize for being the smartest motherfucker in the room. As a secretly married loscar truther, I am in love with this. And you’re always welcome to come in my messages or my ask box with stuff like this.
I can imagine Oscar being so smug at that breakfast. It’s his ring around Logan’s finger, it’s his marks on Logan’s body, it’s him who gets to keep bringing waffles for Logan to devour in record speed.
And I think the reason no one suspected it could be Logan Oscar was married to is because they would’ve known, right? Surely they wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret for 9 months?
(Well, Alex and George had known pretty quickly who it was but they weren’t going to spoil the surprise.)
But even now with them both declaring themselves to each other for all of them to see, they barely act any different. Small touches, leaned in whispers, pressed as close together as two people could in opposite chairs, but still completely level-headed.
And finally Lando snaps and is like “How? How are you two so calm around each other? If I had a partner on the grid, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of them.”
Oscar shrugs and Logan laughs awkwardly and even now they’re like twin planets - always together but never crashing.
“We’ve been together for a long time,” Oscar answers which, they would hope so for the youngest married couple on the grid. “And most of that time it’s had to be a secret. I guess we’re just used to it.”
“Plus, neither of us are big on PDA.” A rather ironic thing for Logan to say while covered in bite marks and red-purple hickies. “We like to keep our private life private.”
And suddenly Lando feels bad because maybe they had never planned on coming out to them, or at least not so soon, but Lando had practically forced their hand because of his little goose hunt. But Logan smiles understandingly at him and is quick to reassure.
“Don’t worry, we were planning to tell people on the grid sooner rather than later, probably when my contract extension was announced, if it’s ever decided.”
Oscar makes a face at that but doesn’t interrupt.
“We just chose now because…” And suddenly Logan gets this look on his face, something pained and almost embarrassed. Oscar tangles their left hands together to stop him in his tracks, proudly displaying their matching rings before continuing.
“None of you thought I could have the honor of being married to Logan - hurtful, by the way, I’m obviously a catch - so I wanted to show everyone who I belonged to.”
Logan blushes a light pink, but he’s smiling. Oscar feels a bit of relief as Logan lays his head on his shoulder, allowing him to turn his nose into the gel-less waves of his blond hair.
The rest of their drivers start to clamor their excuses - you’re too good at hiding it, we thought Logan was dating that Instagram model, actually you’re right you aren’t good enough for my junior Williams driver but you make him happy so I guess it’s okay (this one is of course from George who is met with a lot of boos and biscuit throwing) - but it doesn’t really matter.
Who cares what any of them thought? At the end of the day, Oscar is the one sitting here with Logan Sargeant’s hand intertwined with his, he’s the one that will get to go back with him to their shared apartment, bundle his Florida boy up against the cruel English winter, and indulge in the domestic bliss of being with someone he truly loved.
When one had that, who cared about anything else?
#my hand slipped#sorry for hijacking your post anon#but i love this!!#domestic loscar for the win!#loscar#logan sargeant#oscar piastri#f1 rpf#anon#anon ask#fairy-eyed eagle
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I think I sent an ask like this along time ago? IDK though.
The weird thing about Oz is that it feels like there was stuff they could have brought up if they wanted us to view him in a darker light that they just...dont
Like, that whole thing with Oz conquering the world with Salem and tricking people into worshipping them as gods. Yeah he eventually saw what he was doing was wrong, but that was after he and Salem had 4 kids. So for a long-ass time he was an imperialist god-king
Or the part where he nearly attacked Ruby once she asked Jinn the question.
It just...feels like those are totally things that should be discussed more. But instead they focus on a bunch of other things that are really weird to hold against Oz.
Like why focus on this you have way better things to hold against Oz right there.
That's very possible, anon! I don't know how many unanswered asks are sitting in this inbox now, but it's not a small number...
Totally agree. I think Oz gets criticized to an unfair degree by the canon and fandom alike (no one is shocked to hear this lol) but part of my issue is what he's criticized for, not just the extent. The show tends to take incredibly weird perspectives like, "How dare you give our uncle cool bird powers with no downside" and "How dare you save group members from a deadly airship crash." The fandom takes stances with larger political implications like, "How dare an abused man 'steal' his daughters away from the mother who wants to use them for a magical form of genocide" or issues that fundamentally break the core concept of the show: "How dare you let teenagers fight dangerous battles / How dare you reincarnate - something you have no control over - into a 14yo boy." The show does engage with some of Ozpin's morally complex choices with no easy answers like, "Is it okay to keep secrets if history has shown severe downsides to revealing that information?"... but then the answer the story decides on - "No it's not" - immediately doesn't apply to half the cast, with no examination of how that changes our perception of Ozpin's choice. And, as you say, the show simultaneously introduces HUGE mistakes - "You positioned yourself as a god! Then a king!!"- that the characters could absolutely mistrust him for... but they don't. Because they're too busy focusing on all of the above.
The only thing I'd push back against here is anyone being mad at Ozpin for "nearly attacking" Ruby. I'd consider that a highly unfair criticism as well given that:
We don't know if he would have attacked. He just charges with his and out-stretched, so Ozpin could just as likely have been intending to snatch the Relic
All these characters have aura and train/hit for funsies on a regular basis. It feels like a stretch - one working to paint Ozpin in an unfair light - to act like Ruby taking a hit is suddenly some horrific event that's worthy getting up-in-arms about
In this same scene the girls pull their weapons on Qrow and Oscar - someone WITHOUT that training/fully unlocked aura - gets punched into a tree. Again, consistent morality. Why is Ozpin in the wrong for charging with an open hand (ambiguous) but the girls are justified in pulling their weapons (clear intent)? Why should Super Fighter Ruby be defended for taking a hit after forcibly stealing secrets from Ozpin, but we should shrug off the newbie farm kid taking a hit for the "sin" of being an unwitting, passive vessel?
Plus... as said above, "forcibly stealing secrets." I'm not saying Ozpin is 100% justified in attacking Ruby over this, but I think he's a HELL of a lot more justified compared to actions like threatening Qrow or attacking Oscar. Ruby ignored his requests to give the Relic back; she ignored how terrified he clearly was. She wasted a wish (which Ozpin knew would happen). She revealed his entire, traumatic history to the group PLUS a total stranger (Maria) which, again, Ozpin knew would happen. Of course he tried to stop her. We will never know what lengths he would have gone to, whether he would have truly fought Ruby or just made a last minute grab, but even if he had fought her... It think that's understandable. We can argue about whether it's right, but it's not the sort of thing the heroes should be holding against him once tempers have cooled, especially when he has stuff like playing God that they have hold as a long term grudge.
Out of everything Ozpin has done, maybe being willing to fight the prodigy fighter to keep her from making one of the stupidest decisions we've seen in the show to date is pretty low on the sin list.
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Fan service
Just going through my 5GBs/800 images and vids in (just) my Jikook folder and noticed a lot... A LOT of fan service type images and stuff. Staggering. The amount of thoughtfulness and preparation Jungkook and Jimin have done for us through the years, sacrificing themselves all in the name of fan service...
Like this obviously staged and scripted reaction from Jungkook, sitting there waiting for Jimin to show up in comments:
Actually, go look at almost any of JK's lives and see him performing flawlessly. The timing is impeccable, how he spots Jimin's comments is 🔥 level reflexes.
This ultimate fan service live when Jungkook set up an hour and a half of fan servicing about Jimin:
Of course the fan service has been going on for YEARS...
This fleeting moment that someone snapped for fan service:
Was it Tae or Hobi that snapped the pic? We'll never know, they didn't bother to take a pic of themselves during this gorgeous sunset with either of these guys because... it was only for fan service.
And this random Instragram person who was in on the fan service agenda, and JK with the eagle eyes finding it amongst the 100s of 1000s of questions/comments:
I wonder if maybe he telepathed some questions out to the universe so these people from all over the place would know what to ask/say, like secret code shit?
And H.E.R. doing her part in fan service, its great to have willing participants for your fan service agenda:
I bet she's done this before too.
And of course this ultimate, elaborate and expensive fan service weekend getaway... anything for the fans:
The best part about it is, Jungkook didn't tell Jimin he was filming all this for fan service. Made him stay in a hotel room with no privacy in the bathroom in a hotel that caters to couples... the lengths... the sacrifices... bless them.
And here they are again, the never ending fan service, so tiring:
I bet they staged the entire Jack in the Box listening party just for jikook fan service. I wouldn't be surprised. Rented out the top floor of the HYBE building, catered it, all for fan service.
The general public is in on the fan service too. A random person taking sneaky fan service pics, great timing and teamwork:
And this random person too in on the sneaky fan service agenda, everyone playing their part in the charade:
This was one of many photos from this particular dinner (fake) date with non-celeb friends.
The general public really are the stars of fan service:
Another (fake) restaurant date but this time with other celeb friends.
But the eyes on the back of JK's head seeing his cue for FS? 💀:
How can he see through his hair though? That's my question. Sheer talent! 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥
And JK's eyes on his face automatically performing fan service, must be muscle memory or something:
And his hands too, more muscle memory from all that fan service practice:
I can visualize it now... "Jimin, hold still, I need to practice feeling you up, stop squirming, I'm gonna have to use those handcuffs you brought home if you don't stop trying to get away..." um... wait... that went a little too far...
Anyway...
And this pre-planned-the-night-before fan service, they are such professionals always thinking of fan service, practicing, perfecting...I wonder how many times they had to do THIS to get it just right? :
I could say a lot here about "practice makes perfect" but I will refrain...
Hobi going off-script here taking Jimin by surprise... maybe it was something Jimin and Jungkook were practicing for fan service and Hobi almost spilled the beans?
And this ingeniously pre-programed mechanical ear reaction fan service...so clever:
This happy-as-shit-to-be-going-overseas fan service, JK and his fake bouncy happiness, Oscar-worthy. I wonder if they practiced in the car on the way to the airport:
The general public doing that fan service shit again... wonder how much they get paid for this? I want in on it:
Jungkook telling Jimin, "we have to go around a bunch of times to make sure that random person gets it right."
It's never ending, 24/7 fan service with these two. It must be very time consuming to come up with new fan service moments. I wonder what they will show us next?
[please read the tags for heavens sakes]
#fan service#jikook#24/7#every bit of this was sarcasm#i just want to give these moments the real adoration they deserve#IT WAS NEVER FAN SERVICE#i don't normally post stuff like this#suddenly i am feeling less oppressed by the cult#and wanted to be a smartass about their distress#because they deserve it#yeah this whole post sort of got out of hand
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Can I pls get some Tim and Steph hcs because I love them even though they broke up
I don't care what canon says they are the ultimate lovers to friends
They have to stay overnight at a motel for a mission and there's only one bed. Cue 2 hours of shoving each other off and being as annoying as possible until they both give up at the same time, Steph taking her things to the bathtub while Tim uses the wardrobe as a sarcophagus
"The stars are beautiful tonight"
"You know what else is beautiful?"
"Chris Hemsworth"
"Agreed"
Tim sets up hidden cameras and Steph uses her Oscar-worthy acting to convince Superboy and Impulse that cake has been outlawed
Steph sets her phone alarm for every five minutes between 6 and 8 AM. Tim turns them off, but joke's on him, she also has an iPad
They both have embarrassing dirt over each other. Steph knows Tim likes his coffee with salt and Tim knows that Steph pretends to be the Riddler when no one's around
"It's your turn to pick up Damian"
"No it's not, I did it yesterday"
"Alright, we'll get Jason to do it"
"..."
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Aren't you gonna call him?"
"It's your turn"
"I called him last week"
They go as Sharkboy and Lavagirl for Halloween. Tim was a little hesitant about the pink wig but it turns out he genuinely rocks it
One year, they volunteer at a winter carnival. Tim scoots around the ice rink on his butt and Steph gets stuck to her ice cream cone
Tim's always wanted to do drag, but he'd rather try it on privately first and that can't happen if Bruce can see his credit card purchases. But since he and Steph are the same size, he borrows her stuff and in return, she gets to take one of his case files
When a Paramore concert comes to town, they set up camp for 72 hours to grab tickets and force the rest of the family to listen to all the songs for the next several months
They do mani-pedis and weave friendship bracelets
They also design their own scented candles called "Pre-Apocalyptic Existential Dread" and "Yaay Purple!"
As part of an inside joke, during holiday season Steph gets Tim a can opener and he gets her the same Teletubbies cookie sheet every year
They have sleepovers filled with cheesy movies, junk food, stolen alcohol, pillow battles, and pretending to be Bruce on Tinder
"We're seeing Black Panther 2. Yes, right now. I don't care that you're in the shower. Put a towel on and let's go, it starts in 5 minutes"
#tim drake#red robin#stephanie brown#spoiler#batfam#batfamily#batbros#batboys#batgirls#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#timsteph#dc comics#headcanon#ask#anonymous#platonic
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as a person on the inside of the animation industry, are there signs that we might be heading to another dark age of animation like the 1980s (e.g. animation is regulated to just glorified toy commercials or dark fantasy movies)?
"Kid Vid" regulations mean you can't advertise for stuff kids might buy from within a show anymore. Generally, you can't even have (say) Yogi Bear wearing a shirt with his best friend BooBoo's face on it as a gag, because "what if someone made that shirt one day?" Then it would be a retroactive ad, I guess? I'm not schooled in reverse-time law like studio lawyers, so I can't really say. Still, it's almost impossible to get even a fictional product into a kid's show these days, so I think the 1980s will probably stay in their timeline. At least in that way.
I do think a bit of a "Dark Age" is upon us, though. Maybe just a small one. Just a wee little snip of a Dark Age is all.
As far as I can glean, there are going to be precious few animated shows coming out over the next couple of years because not much was picked up during the pandemic. There are only a few things being developed here and there, and I'd wager that those properties "win" simply by existing in a competition-free environment. It takes a long time to produce animation, so almost anything greenlit right now is looking at a full year for turnaround. If you talk to people in the industry right now about jobs, they use words like "wastelend" and "ramen noodles".
Then you've got A.I., of course. The other night I was having dinner with a friend and I found myself in the A.I. conversation I always imagined myself having one day-- the one where we're talking with some immediacy about what the rest of our futures look like as artists, because we know they're not going to look the same ever again. It was pretty cool in a William Gibson sort of way, but I honestly didn't expect to be having that conversation for another decade. Turns out A.I. is becoming a problem right now.
I've already talked about the "art theft" angle, and that's not the problem I'm speaking about here. The problem I'm talking about is the "what do I do when what I do becomes trivial?" problem. If anyone can make a TV show or movie in a week or a day using AI assistance, who determines what gets seen? Networks, I'd imagine, would become redundant. You don't need to fork over $15 a month for Netflix if you can make Netflix-quality content yourself. And if you can't make anything decent even with A.I. assistance, surely someone on the internet can. There would be an incredible glut of content to choose from, so again... who decides what gets seen? An algorithm, probably. Who owns the algorithm?
Peak Dark Age will be the time period when the networks realize that they're going to die, and sink all of their resources into forcing their own survival on the rest of us. I imagine massive layoffs (you don't need multiple writers or artists or support staff when you've got the right tools.) Studios will want to own the tools (of course) and/or suppress the use of those tools by anyone who might want to cut into their profits. Expect to see "A.I. is just too dangerous for the public to utilize, so it needs to be left in the capable hands of corporations". Expect to see customizable Batmans, the ability to put your mom in any Star Wars, and the serialized fever-dreams of billionaires.
I think that's the next 5-10 years. And while that's happening, the tools will keep getting better and better until literally anyone can sit down, ask for an Oscar-worthy part-rom-com/part action movie starring a twenty-five year old Steve McQueen and and eighty year old Daniel Radcliffe rescuing Air Bud from the Death Star, and then watch the resulting film with some degree of satisfaction. There'll come a point when content of any visual, auditory, and written complexity can be generated on-the-fly, and the traditional limits of budgets and schedules will just be gone.
It's easy to spin off into fantasy and try to guess exactly what's coming. I could probably spin on that all day. But what I know is that the future of the animation industry won't look anything like what I've become accustomed to. And maybe that's okay because what I've become accustomed to looks nothing like the industry I started in. Things change, and you roll with the punches. Thanks to the self-fulfilling dystopian prophecy we find ourselves in, just about everyone on the planet is finding themselves rolling with the punches coming from the Powerful Greedy. That's less a "me problem"
and more a planet-wide problem we should probably all sit down and hash out, like, yesterday.
My immediate problem as an artist (and yours if you're an artist too) is figuring out how to get your ideas seen in a world where the amount of entertainment content is exploding exponentially. Especially if you're the sort of artist who needs to eat and live somewhere.
So yeah, I think there's going to be just a little peppering of Dark Age coming up. But in every time of change, there are opportunities. Hey, I'm down for an animated Dark Fantasy movie. Let's do this!
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xikers reacting to you liking f1
╰┈ ⋆｡˚ 🪼author’s note: this is a repost from my other acc!! i think i might do an smau for racer xikers…idk we’ll see
🫧laur's taglist: @chiiyuuvv @cherrycolaberry @leehanascent @hyvelxve
minjae - would 100% be down to watch f1 with you!! strikes me as the type to love the underdogs of the grid (williams, alfa, etc) and definitely watches the funniest moments of f1 with you later :) also watches grill the grid with you just to see if either of you know the answers
junmin- he definitely has f1tv and has seen drive to survive so best believe that he's incredibly happy that you like f1...even if it's because charles leclerc is devastatingly handsome. is 1000% down to watch it with you after you get home from work or when you need a break from studies! he definitely gets you matching f1 merch
sumin - he’s lowkey unimpressed by f1 since it’s watching cars go round and round BUT he’s willing to watch a few races with you bc he knows how much you enjoy it!! doesn’t admit it but later watches drive to survive and orders matching merch for the two of you!!
jinsik - doesn’t strike me as the type to follow f1 all that much but he’s definitely down to watch highlights and binge drive to survive! he’s definitely a big fan of oscar and yuki :) wants to watch past races because he thinks that the history behind f1 is so cool which leads to cuddling while watching the story of fangio on netflix and how f1 started!!
hyunwoo - once again, doesn’t strike me as the type to really want to watch it but is definitely a fan of the ps5 game!! has a whole day set aside for when you each catch up on what kinds of f1 news you’ve been reading and then a cuddle sesh while watching f1 recaps and netflix!! he finds it cute that you support the underdog teams :)
hunter - he’s cultured and tbh gets so hype when you tell him you got paddock passes!! definitely wants to meet yuki and see the mclaren cars <3 the type to take insta worthy pics of you at the GP too!! oh he’s also most definitely aware of every single trend and gossip going around the f1 world
junghoon - he’s seen it and is vaguely familiar with it but decides to start with drive to survive. wants you to not be ashamed to like motorsport! asks why you like f1 and when you begin explaining that you simply like the whole team management concept, he suggests you major in management instead of what your parents expect you to do
seeun - strikes me as the one to be happy for you but he thinks it’s a waste to pay for the f1tv subscription so he finds other ways to enjoy f1 with you!! he’s definitely bought you some ferrari jewelry or apm monaco stuff because he knows you like ferrari!! he’s always ready with two cups of coffee and blankets when you want to play f1 with him!! he usually would play and let you win because he likes seeing your smile
yujun - i don’t think he would follow f1 all that much but is 100% down to watch the race highlights with you :)) definitely listens intently when you explain the rules and how each team has been doing! thinks your commentary is much better than crofty because your voice is 1000x more calming to him, plus he remembered it all!! went and got you daniel’s merch after you kept going on about his story and how you sympathized with him!! whatever team you like, he likes <3
yechan - the type to make bets about who wins in which he always says some underrated driver who definitely has no chance and you say verstappen. definitely sends you reels and edits of f1 drivers immediately followed by a selfie of him where he asks who is cuter!! thinks you only watch f1 for the drivers and you keep repeating that it’s because you’ve liked mclaren since you were little! watches highlights and grill the grid with you, but tells you to spend money on his photo cards not on f1 drivers :(
🫧join laur’s taglist!
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this is all the evidence i need as the reason to stop seeing the oscars as anything as worthy as it is made out to be when stuff like this is happening over there
#ANY CATEGORY...... ALL OF THEM?#mind u black women are one of the least rewarded groups at the academy I'm not surprised because i know this is true#but like. god#oscars
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