Was thinking about them today (the precursor to my Sydcarmy fixation) and how what happened to them was a crime so Ima need Chris Storer to let me have this one thing 😭

Freckles

Rolan x GN!Reader

A/N: based off this request - i hope you have a very Happy Bday nonny!

Word Count: 988

Warnings: none

*this is meant to be gender neutral so please let me know if you notice anything that has slipped by in my editing!*

It took you longer than expected to settle into the tower at Socerers Sundries. Mainly because the thought of staying in a place that caused Rolan so much pain and suffering made you so angry your blood boiled. But after a few mornings waking up to the sun filtering in through the windows…You started to love it.

Now you relish going to sleep beside Rolan in your chambers on the top most floor of the building, knowing you’ll wake up to a most perfect sight each morning. 

The sun always manages to creep in the window above your bed, rays turning from orange to soft pink and then eventually the gentle morning yellow light that manages to wake you most mornings. 

The sunlight kisses your skin in a warm caress, wrapping both you and Rolan in its gentle embrace as the day begins. You’re almost always the first to wake, Rolan only beating you when he has important tasks to take care of. 

Today is one of the days he does not, allowing him to sleep peacefully beside you as your eyes peel open to greet the warm rays of sun. Slowly, as not to wake your partner, you stretch your arms above your head, yawning wide as a cat basking in a pool of light before settling back into the soft sheets.

You roll over to your side just as Rolan mumbles something unintelligible in his sleep, one of his arms reaching out to slip around your waist as he pulls you subconsciously closer to him before settling once more.

He’s laying on his side, hair loose from its usual hair tie, allowing the chestnut locks to lay errant on the pillow, some strands even falling haphazardly across his face and around his horns. Gently, you reach up to tuck the hair behind his ear, revealing more of his face to you. 

Rolan is one of those people that always has a look of worry or thought seemingly permanently stuck on his face. His brows drawn together, lips pulled tight, nose scrunched adorably. When he sleeps, however, all of those things slip away, leaving his face blissfully smooth. 

You’ve always told him he actually looks his age when he sleeps, his youth coming out when he isn’t constantly worried about one thing or another. You always take a moment to admire him when he sleeps, the moment allowing you to see him truly at peace. It also allows you to take in one of your favorite features of your partner. 

His freckles. 

It was one of the first things you noticed about him when you met, immediately finding them curious as you hadn't seen many other tiefling with the same markings. You’d always fantasized about tracing over them before you both confessed your feelings, and now it was something you did more often than Rolan liked. 

Although as much as he complains when you do it, he never stops you, and you never mention the way his lips twitch upwards ever so slightly at your ministrations. 

Slowly, your fingers trail down from his ear to his cheek following the faint trail of freckles across the bridge of his nose. Your eyes and fingers trail lower then to where they travel down his neck to his chest. 

That was another pleasant surprise. That Rolan has freckles other than on his face. They’re pretty much everywhere on his body, darker in some places like his cheeks and shoulder and lighter in places like his chest and belly. 

But you love them all the same. 

Finally, after you’ve completed your roaming, your eyes flick back up to his face, still peaceful in his undisturbed sleep. And you can’t help but lean in to press a kiss to his cheek and the smattering of freckles there. 

Then you press a kiss to his nose. Then his forehead, before dropping down to his other cheek. 

You plan to travel lower, following the trail down to his jaw and neck, but another arm sliding beneath you and a soft groan stops you in your tracks, a smile splitting your lips. 

“ Hmm… ” Rolan hums tiredly. “What are you doing, my love?”

His words are thick with sleep, voice deeper than usual as he turns to brush his lips against your own before moving to nuzzle into the crook of your neck, eliciting a small sigh from you as he presses featherlight kisses there.

“I was admiring you,” you say simply, smiling as Rolan pulls away to look at you, eyes fluttering sleepily.

“Admiring me?” He repeats. “I should be flattered, a beautiful partner waking me up like that…”

You raise an eyebrow. “But…?”

Rolan smiles, wrapping his arms tighter around you until he rolls you both so he’s lying on his back and you lay atop him on his chest. 

“But I was up late last night working on research, and I would very much like to keep sleeping with said beautiful partner in my arms. If that’s amenable?”

You roll your eyes and give a dramatic sigh before settling against his chest, pressing one last kiss there before wrapping your arms around his waist.

“ Fine,” you say in mock annoyance. “I suppose if I have to stay here my admiration can wait.”

Rolan chuckles, eyes slipping closed again. “Oh, feel free to admire all you want, my love. Just don’t wake me up this time.”

You scoff, hitting his chest playfully as he tugs you closer to him. “You’re a jerk sometimes, you know that?”

Rolan hums contentedly before sitting up just enough to capture your lips in a quick kiss before settling back against the pillows once more. 

“You wouldn’t have me any other way.”

You smile, shaking your head before finally settling against him as sleep tugs lazily at your eyes. 

“I love you, Rolan,” you murmur. 

And as sleep finally pulls you both back under, you hear Rolan respond in kind.

I have a request for your future work. If you are comfortable writing this topic, I'd love to read it.

I have always had very bad cramps when I'm on my period. I also have PMS so I struggle with pain a week before my period starts. And It makes me think, if I could not let go of this cruel pain until menopause, I'd rather stop living. (Sorry it sounds heavy)

I want Bucky to comfort women who are struggling with serious period cramps ( Dysmenorrhea ) and PMS.

Thank you for reading my request! You can ignore this if you are not feeling right!

I love you so much❤️

Of course!!!

------------

PMS for Please Make it Stop

Bucky x reader

Summary: Reader suffers from severe cramps and PMS symptoms on and in between her periods. Bucky, her boyfriend, comforts her as much as he can.

Word count: 1666

Warnings: talk of everything that comes with periods, pain and cramps, PMS, fluff

A/N: Thank you for the request, and I am so sorry that it’s so painful for you! I’ve had a lot of experience with “that time of the month” feeling completely unbearable, and I hope that this fic is helpful! I don’t know exactly what you’re going through because each person has different symptoms with different severities and time spans. I truly hope that this helps you! I’m always here to talk as a fellow person with periods and the emotions that come with them!

Tags: @mardema @buckfics @stucky-on-spiderman @buckys2thicc @abitgryffindorky @barnesplums @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes @babyboibucky

-------------------------------------------

You rolled over in bed, curling in on yourself and using your pillow to suppress a groan. It was early morning, you could tell because the sun was up but Bucky hadn’t left for his run with Steve yet. It was that time of the month again, the one you hated so goddamn much. The one every woman hated so much. But it was never just the few days of blood they had taught you about in sex ed.

You hadn’t been prepared for the cramps, bloating, mood swings, headaches, cravings, and pain…

So. Much. Pain.

You could handle blood, that wasn’t an issue for you. You had seen your share of bloodshed on the battlefield. It was the horrible cramps that felt like something was stabbing you from the inside out constantly for a week preceding the bloodshed that was too much for you. It paralyzed you in a way. It hurt to do anything at all. As much as you hated to admit it, you could deal with any cut, burn, or broken bone. But these cramps had you curled in a ball with tears in your eyes.

You let out another groan and felt Bucky stir next to you. He turned over and rubbed one of his hands up and down your arm and pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

“Sweetheart, why are you awake?” he asked softly, sleep still lacing his voice. There were only 2 reasons that you would be awake. Either you had a nightmare, or...

You let out a small whimper as another wave of pain came over you.

...cramps.

“Hey, it’s okay, come here,” he said before carefully wrapping his arm around your stomach, rubbing small circles over your stomach. He brought his body flush against you so his chest to your back, without squeezing you too tightly. You sighed in relief, his warm body easing your pain slightly. He pressed soft kisses to your temple, whispering reassuring words in your ear.

He had learned a lot rather quickly when it came to helping you with your pain. He hadn’t known much at all at first, growing up in the 40’s where people never talked about it. When he had first walked in on you curled in the fetal position, crying and whimpering, he had been so worried. So when you referred to it as ‘just a period’ and that ‘it’s happened before', he was very confused.

He thought a period was something you ended a sentence with.

You had sent him to Nat and Wanda to explain what was happening. You had synced up with them naturally, but their cramps weren’t as severe as you. Everyone's experiences of periods, their symptoms, and PMS differently, but they felt bad for the severity of yours.

He was very confused as to why he had to ask other people about your pain. When he approached the two wide-eyed and confused, asking why you were in severe pain with no injuries, they had to try not to laugh.

They explained the basics to him, and what was off-limits. No assuming it was happening because of mood swings, no expecting you to keep functioning at peak condition, no mentioning how the emotional mood swings were happening

He was just in awe of it - how women were expected to just act naturally as if they weren’t bleeding at a constant rate while dealing with horrible pain and emotional mood swings. He thought that it was amazing that it was expected that they act naturally.

It took a little bit of trial and error and a lot of patience on both your parts, but he knew how he could help make these days as bearable as he could.

He would spend these days close to you, showing you a lot of affection. He would be gentle and patient with you, reminding you how much he loved you. He would get you anything you needed, be it food or pads or tampons. Once you had sent him to get pads and tampons and he had come back with one of every box with a sheepish look on his face.

“I didn’t know which ones you wanted so I got...all of them.”

You had laughed so hard that it hurt, but it was worth it. He made you promise not to tell Sam.

But eventually, he had learned what you needed. How he could help. The heat helped ease your cramps, so he’d hold you close, but not tightly. Rubbing your stomach helped too, in slow, lazy circles.

While he hated seeing you in pain, he loved taking care of you. Anything he could do to help you he would do.

Another cramp made you shift slightly, trying to find the impossible position that would help relieve the constant pain. You let out a small groan, trying to curl in tighter on yourself. Bucky pressed a small kiss to your temple.

“It’s okay angel, it’s alright.”

“It hurts,” you said, voice cracking.

“I know it does, I know,” he said, using his left hand to brush some hair out of your face.

“I just want it to stop hurting so much,” you said, letting out another pained whimper.

“I can’t imagine,” he said, sincerely. He couldn’t imagine the same pain every month with no relief or solution. He knew just how strong you were, strong as anyone on the team if not stronger. Seeing you in this much pain must have meant it was unbearable.

“I can’t make it go away but I’m here to do whatever I can to help, okay?” he whispered against your skin.

“I’m sorry about this,” you said.

Bucky took a deep breath. “Did you choose to go through this?” he asked softly.

“N-no.”

“Then you have nothing to apologize for.”

You nodded slightly, your heart melting. You tried to take slow and even breaths. After a few moments passed, he asked “Can I help you to the shower? You always say how much the hot water helps.”

You paused for a moment before you nodded, and he pressed another kiss to your temple before standing up and moving to the other side of the bed to help you stand. Moving from your position sounded like the worst idea right now, but you took a deep breath before taking his hands. You sat up slowly, groaning as your hand wrapped around your stomach. You stood up shortly after, bending forward slightly as you made your way to the bathroom with Bucky. He had noticed a bloodstain on the bed, but he didn’t say anything. You didn’t need to know that.

He turned on the water for you, checking the temperature every few moments. Once he deemed that it was hot enough but wasn’t going to burn your skin, he told you and gave you a quick hug before giving you some privacy. You had always enjoyed intimate showers together just...not when you had your period to worry about. When he closed the door, you started to slowly undress to get into the shower. You got into the shower, sighing in relief as it helped soothe your cramps.

Bucky, meanwhile, was working fast. First he texted Steve that he wouldn’t be able to make it to training today, knowing he would understand. He then moved to make the bed with clean sheets, so you wouldn't see the small bloodstain on the current ones. He didn’t want you to worry or feel bad about it. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and one of his t-shirts that you had always loved. He cracked the bathroom door open and placed them on the counter, careful not to disturb you. He then quickly ran down to the kitchen, still empty for the moment, and grabbed a few of your favorite snacks along with a few water bottles to bring back upstairs.

When he came back to the room, he noticed the water had been turned off. He set the water and snacks on the bedside table as you opened the bathroom door, hair in a messy bun and looking much more refreshed. “Feeling better?”

“A little,” you said quietly before wincing slightly. Bucky gave you a small smile before taking your hand and bringing you over to the bed, him sitting down and leaning against the headboard. He helped you sit down between his legs so you were able to lean your back against his chest. You laid your head back against him and he wrapped his arms around you so his human arm was on your lower stomach, his metal arm resting over it. You let out a small sigh, relaxing back against him. He pressed a small kiss to your temple, rubbing smooth lazy circles on your stomach.

“Try to get some rest, doll.” he whispered. “We can watch your favorite movie when you wake up.”

You turned slightly to look up at him. “But you hate that movie.”

“But you don’t,” he said simply.

You felt tears brim your eyes even though it felt so stupid. “I love you, Bucky.’

“I love you too angel,” he whispered, pressing a last kiss to the side of your head. “Try to get some rest.”

Jealousy (Connie x Reader)

phases of love collab | masterlist

Pairing: Connie x Reader

Summary: You take Sasha’s place. 

Content Warnings: Implied aot ending spoilers, smut, angst, character death (reader), some fluff, romantic sex, slight cockwarming, drugs / alcohol

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: This hurt me to write so I hope it hurts to read. Thank you so much to @dande-lion​ and @eremiie who beta-read this and gave me so many suggestions because I didn’t like the way I worded it. I would not have been able to be happy with this without you, ILYSM

For @mikaberries​ collab! Thanks for letting me participate!

Connie’d never loved like this before. He can’t recall a single time in his life that he’s felt so truly connected to someone, so deeply ingrained in someone else’s being that he doesn’t know who he’d be without them. 

Connie had you wrapped in his body, dick buried in you so deep and legs intertwined so gently. His delicate fingers sunk into your skin as one wrapped around your waist, the other around your head. There was nothing rough about tonight, nothing exemplary or particularly outstanding except for the fact that he was hopelessly in love with you. 

Connie was infatuated with you. He couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t feel enough of your skin against his as he fucked himself up into you with steady flicks of his hips. You felt so good around him, hips grinding to meet his with gentle moans. He wishes he could have this moment forever, wrap it up and keep it in his pocket so he can feel it whenever he needs to. The way your gummy walls hugged him or how you breathed in low and deep sighs with each of his thrusts. 

“So beautiful…” He exhaled against your skin, pulling back to take the hand from your head and run his thumb along the plump skin of your cheek. 

You gave him a lazy smile, eyebrows furrowed together in focus and pleasure as he leaned in to kiss you. It was delicate at first, pumping into you slowly, keeping up his sluggish pace. Connie was taking you in, appreciating the feel of your lips on his and the way you tasted like sweat and sex and something akin to cinnamon. 

Connie wasn’t working towards a goal, arm wrapped lazily around your body, sticky with sweat while he admired your feel.That was the best way to put it— he was simply letting you both admire each other’s feeling, whispering sweet nothings, he just wanted to love you. So he fucked into you languidly, mind clouded over and head spinning. 

He could remember clearly every moment like this he’d had with you and he was about to lock away this one with the first time he saw you, your first kiss, your first time. He doesn’t know why this moment in particular strikes him so deeply, but the way you look and your cunt fluttering around him has his heart swelling with love and pride. 

You’re his. 

There was nothing to be discontent with, no doubt seeded in his heart about another man, no jealousy bubbling in his gut. You were only his and he knew it, he could feel it in the desperate little sighs of his name as you came closer to your high, heat building in your stomach as the candle beside the bed dimmed as it burned through its wick. 

The two of you had been like this for hours, Connie unwilling to let you go until he’d felt you come undone around him so much that he’s all you think about— you’re all he thinks about. He was already all you thought about though, already taking up the most space in your mind even when you weren’t creaming around him. Still, you couldn’t complain, so wrapped in his smell and feel that you let him keep rutting his hips into you, arms looped around his body and fingers digging into the muscles of his back. 

But it’s true, Connie’s love for you was incredible and you felt it with every stroke of his big hand against you, in the way your skin buzzed as if it were whispering its own sweet words between his. Words of praise whispered over the pillow, lips brushing past each other’s ear to mumble quiet “I love you’s” that rattle through each other's bodies like coins down a well. 

When you finally came undone in a steady rise, like water bubbling delicately over the edge of a too-full container, you whimpered, teeth sinking into the muscle of his shoulder. Your legs trembled as he held you tightly, slowing his movements and letting you bury your face into him, looking for anything to ground you as your body rolled. 

Connie loved your voice, the whine of his name that spilled from your lips and the way your cunt clenched around him, pillowy and soft. He loved you and with that profound knowledge, soon met his own high with a stutter of his hips, cumming deep into you as he buried himself to the hilt. 

You stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other, Connie unmoving within you as you panted against each other before your breathing fell into an even rhythm. How was he supposed to let you go? How could he be expected to pull out and let you pad to the toilet. It would only be a few minutes but he found himself dreading the moment you stirred in his arms. He’d let you meld yourself to him like this if it were possible. 

“You know that I’ve got to get up.” You chuckled into his chest, turning your head to glance to the nightstand. “And I’d like to get up before that candle burns through and I have to stumble through the dark.” 

It was growing dim, nearing the end of its life span as it casted a low light across the bedroom. Connie’s desk was faintly illuminated in the corner but you were focused on the way the light danced over his features, displaying the apples of his cheeks that rounded with his smile. 

“I know,” he sighed, pulling you closer, “just don’t wanna let you go right now.” 

“You big baby, it’s only a few minutes.” You say, peeling yourself from him and pulling him out of you gently. 

He was soft already, but the act itself was intimate and you could feel the way he started to spill out of you as you moved to the other side of the room, wrapping a robe around yourself before leaving the bedroom. 

Connie watched you as you left, admiring your hips and your figure as you receded into the darkness. How had he gotten so lucky? He somehow managed to snag the girl the entire regiment was crazy for, and– as you both moved through the ranks– managed to fall so irrevocably in love with you that he’s forgotten who he was without you. 

Still, he wouldn’t trade it for the world, wouldn’t trade you for the world. 

He was deep in thought by the time you returned to bed, discarding the robe and snuggling up beside his naked figure. 

Of all the things that had changed recently, you hadn’t. You remained the woman he loved more than anything, still smiling. He remembers the way you’d joke with your friends and squad, evenings spent laughing at a pub with all of the captains after your promotion. 

Every major event of his life had been spent with you and you both had made it out clean, more appreciative of the love you shared. Connie cherished every part of you, every fleeting moment with you. 

And he was certain that he’d do it for the rest of his life. 

---

They’d suspected that Eren had gone awol. That he’d gone off on his own. Connie should have stopped him, they could have talked some sense into him before he fled to Marley, attacking a congregation of world leaders and forcing the Scout Regiments hand. 

You both had separated so quickly, each moving away from each other in your own individual squadrons without so much as a stay safe. You both always did. Connie couldn’t have imagined that you’d be one of the six who didn’t make it home. 

He couldn’t have guessed that the child would sneak aboard the ship and point the rifle toward Sasha’s chest. But Connie could have predicted the way you jumped in front of her, moving before you had time to think to shield his best friend from the shot. 

Connie would never forget the look in your eyes as your blood seeped and pooled onto the cold floor of the airship, his warm hands pressed to your cooling chest, covered in a thick layer of your blood. You looked content, the same look you’d flash at him before any expedition. You were at peace and you smiled up at him. A far too pleased smile for someone who was slipping from Connie’s hands faster than he could process— faster than he wanted you to. How could you be smiling? He was losing you. 

 It was like you to take a shot for a friend. You always put your comrades before yourself like that.

You and Sasha were both brave that way, the only difference being that today, Sasha would return home to her lover and you would not. Your body would stay in the morgue for the night before they placed you six feet below the ground in a graveyard not far from where you lived. 

How is it that you could be so close so far away at the same time?  He’d never get to feel your body against his again, never hear your laugh that rings like chimes on a spring day, and looking at your grave after the funeral procession, he could only think about how quickly your blood had cooled on the floor of the airship. Connie stared at the fresh dirt under the headstone, trying to bring anything but your lifeless eyes to mind. He tried to think of your smile, of the crinkle in your eye whenever he’d say something stupid, but instead he was reminded of the uncharacteristically stiff way your body laid in the airship and the wan tone of your skin as your precious years drained from your face. 

---

As time passed jealousy bled into Connie’s life. Slowly at first, in the waning hours of the morning when he’d be awake and full of drink. He found himself thinking about you constantly, your picture flashing through his mind with startling clarity. 

He’d wake up in the middle of the night, grabbing at the sheets beside him– searching for you, wondering in his half asleep state where you’d gone, only to be reminded that this time you weren’t coming back to bed. You’d no longer take your trips to the bathroom and you were much farther away than a few minutes. Instead, he was reminded that he’d have to spend a lifetime without you. 

A lifetime without your presence. How unfathomable. So he buried himself in drink, in alcohol, in fighting a war he no longer had a reason to fight. It was bearable that way, his days without you. He was occupied. Working until his hands shook and his feet ached, then drinking to quell the pain. It was all he knew in those following days, working for a peace you’d never know, drinking to forget your time together, sleeping in hopes that he’d see you in another world. But the next world wasn’t for him. Life mercilessly kept him alive, despite his carelessness in the fight.

When the war finally ended and things came to a quiet halt, everything became harder. Eldia rebuilt its streets, patching up the wounds that battle had left on it, and with the power of the titans gone, Eldians were negotiating their terms of peace and fighting the good fight to total freedom. Connie found it difficult now to focus on anything but your absence. 

He’d move down the cobbled streets of Marley and be reminded of you at every turn, reminded of something you’d never get to see. He thought of your plans for the future and the way you’d agreed to marry him once peace finally came, but peace came and went without you. 

The summer months in Marley were the most beautiful. They brought couples and children and laughter. You’d have loved them. In between peace negotiations, Connie would let himself wander through the streets. Why he even bothered to go outside? He had no clue, but he still did it everyday without fail, wandering until he ended up in the same place he always did. He’d find a seat in the park and watch the couples, listening to the way the ocean sounded as it beat against the shore. 

It was supposed to make him feel better, supposed to remind him that things were okay now. But all he felt was unimaginable rage. A rage that grew brighter with each gust of wind and each rustle of leaves. Each happy chuckle of passing couples and each aimless laughter of stumbling children. Connie was jealous, perpetually and undeniably. 

He was jealous of the time the two of you never got. Jealous of the people who would spend their lifetimes with their lovers and get to cradle their children. Jealous of his own time, the years he had left ticking by slowly and twisting the knife in his gut with each turn of the month on a calendar. He was jealous of Marco who was no doubt with you now, jealous of Erwin and Miche and anyone they’d ever lost because they were with you.

Why did everyone else get so much time? What made them so different from you? Connie couldn’t understand a world where someone else deserved to survive to see the end when you didn’t, where people other than the two of you got enough time to live out their lives. 

Connie didn’t have that luxury and you surely didn’t either. 

The weight piled on, the greed, disgust, and envy weighed on his shoulders like boulders. A person can only take so much, can only struggle for so long under such a profound feeling. 

It was the day the negotiations were finished, the day the war came to a true end and Eldians were no longer discriminated against legally, that he broke. 

He fell to his knees in his temporary apartment after getting home and seeing the bare walls, the ones that lacked pictures because he’d never gotten to take any of you. You would have loved today, would have pulled him into the living room to dance or even invited all of your remaining friends to your shared apartment to celebrate. Connie could practically hear you telling him to appreciate the day, your voice chiming like bells in the recesses of his mind. It was haunting. 

“Fuck!” He shouted, slamming his fist onto the counter and collapsing to the floor as sobs wracked through his body. 

His friends had followed him to his apartment, worried for him. They had been for a while and today was the breaking point, watching him sway down the steps of the courthouse without so much as a word. They could hear him crying through the walls, hear the guttural cries that seemed to push through him so angrily. 

Connie’s stomach was twisting in painful knots, it was years of being tired, years of missing you crumbling all at once in a crescendo of anger and unimaginable grief. He was sick, his heart wrenched in his chest, hammering against his ribcage, something your heart could no longer do. 

It was sickening, how his bones wracked and how his shoulder shook with every shuddering sob. His own walls were finally let down and his veiled emotions crashed over him appallingly fast. How did he carry around this weight, this grief, for so long? 

Connie couldn’t pick his head up from his hands when his friends came in, ushering themselves past the entrance to crouch on the floor with him, Jean’s arm bracing his frame and helping to keep him upright. They let him cry like that for a long while, letting the sounds echo through an apartment that should have had you in it. 

They all missed you, but they had already done their mourning. In doing so, they’d left Connie behind to fend for himself. Left him alone like you had. 

“She’s watching from somewhere, Connie.” Jean’s voice piped up, low and reassuring.

“Y’know-” Connie choked out, sniffling. “Everyone talks so much about this a-afterlife.”

Another sob wracks through him. 

“About his place where the dead go once they’ve finished their time here.” He was shouting now, voice rising. 

“I just wish that maybe there was some fucking proof that she’s still there.” His fists balled up against the floor. This time Connie doesn’t try to stop the cries to talk, he pauses to let himself sob before speaking again. “Because right now I can’t find a single reason to believe she’s out there and I don’t know what I’d do if I never got to see her again.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to move on? How do I carry this weight? How can I keep taking steps forward when she’s not at the end?” Connie’s eyes snap up to Jean, his hand coming to grab his wrist. 

His eyes were pleading, crying for an answer, something, somebody to tell him that there was something to look forward to. That you would be at the end of this stupid game called life. His  voice came up from the deepest recesses of his body. Eyebrows pulled up in anguish, eyes glassy with tears that refused to let up as he peered into his best friend’s eyes. Connie knew he couldn’t answer, knew that there was no one secret to getting through this, that he’d have to power through on his own. But he was so angry, so exhausted from fighting. 

“Why did it have to be her!” He gasps, eyes going wide as realization courses through his shaking body. “Why didn’t she get more time, why didn’t she get to fucking see today?! Why was it me? _____ would have known what to say today, would have had the perfect words. I’ve never had them, never had anything to say.” 

Connie inhaled deeply, blinking until limpid tears decorated the fabric of his uniform. “I need her here. I need her.” 

That was the last thing he said that night, letting himself cry on the floor in the company of his friends who tried in vain to calm him. He raged against fate, body heaving in tremendous sobs that left his chest feeling emptier than before, inhaling in great pulls because with each cry he could feel the water flooding his lungs. Invading, violating, and wretched with every wail. Everything served as a reminder for his jealousy, ugly and painful in its existence. 

Connie knows you’d have hated this. 

Could you see him right now? Were you watching in the months to come as he hit his lowest low before slowly starting to pick himself back up, finally formally forgiving Gabi even though he hadn’t blamed her for a long while. 

It took a long time for him to gain that semblance of normalcy and once he returned to Eldia from overseas, he went straight to your grave, finally able to face your name scrawled on the headstone once again. Connie hadn’t expected it, but with time the jealousy faded into a dull ache. He spent hours in the graveyard that day, staying with you until the sun had long set over the horizon and the air nipped at his skin. Connie would take any time he could have with you, even if it was like this. And as he sat there talking about the newfound peace, he hoped you could hear him. 

He was filled with regrets about you. He wishes he had made you laugh more or studied the way you threw your head back in a smile because after so many years the memory had faded to little more than a silhouette. Connie wished he had taken pictures of you, kissed you on the day he met you, married you. But he couldn’t.

Connie wondered if you were watching him all the time. Did you watch his healing, the way he picked himself back up after being shattered and broken for so long. Maybe he’d glued part of you to him when he patched himself up, maybe he still gets to carry some of you with him in the corner of his heart he knows is reserved for you.

Did you see the day he met her? The woman he’d marry one day. She’d caught his eye because she reminded him so much of you, especially in her smile. Connie couldn’t help but think you’d had something to do with it, some cosmic influence that led her to him. 

He thought of you on his wedding day as his bride moved down the aisle, radiant in her beauty. Connie loved her the way he loved you, deeply and honestly. He thought of you the day his first child was born and on every day after that because he saw you in every part of his little girl. He saw you in the way she laughed and the way she ate, the way she stood up after scraping her knee to keep running. 

Connie told his wife about you, about the love he lost, and his daughter thought of you as family, despite never meeting you. Your name fell from his family’s lips so often that it was like you’d never left this world in the first place. 

He healed, Finally, time began moving again and that sickening envy slipped from his veins like melting ice. He was no longer jealous. 

He still goes to your grave, every Sunday. He brings his family and sits his daughter on his lap to tell stories about you, about every aspect of you. Partly because he wants her to know, but also so that he can remember. It’s like a prayer, uttering your name as they sit in the grass that had long grown over the dirt with such reverence, such adoration. 

The wind moves through the trees, shaking leaves from their late summer bloom and Connie swears he can hear you laughing, deep and rich and so like you. 

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Haha and okay I just saw that your askbox is open and read your rules, so if you don't mind, could I please request some hcs for Beel, Mammon, Asmo and Belphie and how they like to cuddle with mc? Cuddle hcs basically lol. If four is too many please feel free to adjust this! Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day 🥰

The Obey Me Brothers: Cuddling / Sleeping Headcanons

AN: Sorry this took a while!! I decided to write for all the brothers because I have a tiny rough draft of cuddle headcanons back from like, the first week I started the game. Mammon’s was the first I came up with, and I filled in the rest from my impressions of the boys from the first 4 lessons. They’ve evolved since then, and I hope they’re alright!! Take care 💙

Brother x reader writing style. Gender neutral reader as always. Written on mobile primarily so excuse any formatting mistakes please ;u; I only go on PC to add finishing touches and a read more

Some things may come off as suggestive, but aren’t really intended that way except for Asmo’s - this is fluff through and through

Lucifer

- Ideal cuddles: Likes to have you lay on his chest in his bed. He doesn’t want his brothers intruding and annoying him or pulling his attention away from you, so his room works best. There’s something about being able to look down and immediately see you there that almost gives him butterflies. It settles him immediately. He’s canonically not a morning demon, but waking up to that sight and knowing you trust him and feel comfortable around him gives him enough motivation and hope to do anything. Getting through the days becomes a breeze when he knows he can return to that most nights. He’s also a real delight to see on those early mornings - tired, but his smile brightens up his eyes, and his hair is a mess over the pillows. He’s not stressed out yet, so he’s fully relaxed and looks quite elegant.

Sadly, he’s often busy, and regularly misses out on sleep. At times like this, he likes having you curled up in his lap whilst he works, so long as you don’t distract him. He’ll press occasional kisses to your temple and you can nap or read or just lay there and listen to the music he always has playing when you’re in his study.

- He has to be very close to the MC to let them cuddle up to him, and initially he’s a bit stiff and awkward because he kind of forgot what this feels like. For the first while he’s quiet every time you cuddle him, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his head against yours and staring off into the distance. He’s touch-starved. Give him a moment.

- Once he settles and starts to get used to affection, if you two are alone he’ll walk up and put his arms around your shoulders and pull you in for hugs, leaning his chin against the top of your head. One time, months into whatever relationship you have, he does it in front of his brothers without thinking, and whilst he feels embarrassed after he realises he doesn’t mind - somewhere between him seeing it as staking a claim, because he’s still the avatar of pride, and between feeling comfortable enough in your presence that he can’t bring himself to care how they’ll react.

- On his rare days off, will absolutely whisk you off somewhere else for a day out in the Devildom and a night in a cabin or hotel or something where no one will bother the two of you and he can hold you in his arms for as long as he wants to and talk to you about everything that comes to mind, completely free and relaxed. He’s one to mumble about something or other when cuddling, unless he’s working, so when the two of you are just relaxing together he’ll ramble about something or ask you questions and listen to you talk.

- Once Luci said something that made you laugh whilst you were laying with your head on his chest and he knows he’s never going to forget about it. Will intentionally try to make you laugh so that he can experience that again. He was an angel once and yet, nothing feels more like heaven to him. Only thing is he’s not above teasing and tickling you to get a reaction out of you, so long as it’s one that might end in you laughing and smiling up at him, and you’ll feel his own laughter rumbling about in his chest.

Mammon

- Ideal cuddles: In your bed - it smells like you and it’s tidier than his room, probably. He likes to have his arms wrapped around your midsection whilst facing each other, on your sides. He also doesn’t mind if you use his chest or shoulder as a pillow, so long as you both have your arms around one another. Often times he’ll bury his face in your hair to take in your scent and because it’s soft and calming. By the time you wake up, he’s going to end up wrapped around you like a koala.

- Adores cuddling on days off when the two of you don’t have to leave for longer than a few moments at a time, especially in a place where his brothers won’t bother you; think, staying in a cabin where it all feels so domestic, you two can wake up whenever you want and make breakfast together and stay practically attached at the hip the entire time, sinking back into bed or laying together on the sofa whenever you want. No responsibilities, no pressure.

- Plays with your hands, or runs his fingers along your side, or tucks one arm up behind your back to hold you really close and play with the strands of hair at the base of your scalp / top of your neck. So long as it doesn’t disturb you heavily, he tends to have some kind of motion, not one to stay still for long.

- He’s quite warm, almost rivaling Beel, so you might have to ask him to loosen his grip on you if you get warm easily. If you do, he pouts and suggests he lowers the temperature of the entire room instead, or buys thinner blankets or gets rid of blankets all together.

- He tries to stay up until you fall asleep because it feels so peaceful and he really feels like he’s protecting you. Also, no one can criticise him or be rude to him when they’re sleeping. Even if you don’t ever talk down on him, his brothers weigh him down, so watching over you whilst you rest in his arms makes him feel so much better without worrying that you’re judging him.

- One time you two were cuddling and he just started crying quietly, because damn, he’s the luckiest demon in all the Devildom and even Lord Diavolo would be jealous of him right now. He’s an emotional cuddler, and will randomly tear up or start chuckling to himself. He’s quiet and doesn’t usually voice his thoughts when cuddling but you can tell he’s thinking constantly and always really happy.

- He gets shy easily enough but he’s also possessive, and he’s not one to turn you down. Because of this he honestly doesn’t care where the two of you cuddle, or who sees. His grip gets a little tighter around you if his brothers walk in and you’re curled up together on the sofa or something, but he wants to be held 24/7 and any mild temporary discomforts are more than worth it when he’s with you.

Leviathan

- Ideal cuddles: Please lay on top of his chest. Literally just lay on top of him. He melts every single time. His bathtub bed is perfect for this, because there’s really no other way to lie unless you want him to lay on top of you, so he prefers cuddling there - that, and it helps him stay cool, and he gets to be in the safety of his own room. In an actual bed, he’s the little spoon all the way. It’s hard to convince him you truly like him, but when you cuddle up against his back and wrap your arms around him he feels a little safer believing you might be telling the truth. It also makes him feel really safe and comfortable, a barrier from the outside world that he rejects daily.

- It doesn’t happen very often, but Levi is one of the brothers most likely to sleep in his demon form, and occasionally when you’re cuddling he’s so relaxed he takes on his demon form without really thinking about it. He says sorry and, half asleep, offers to turn back, but if you’re not uncomfortable then he starts to do it more often. He’s mindful about his horns and prefers to cuddle in his bathtub so he doesn’t tear any of your pillows or accidentally jab you with his horns.

- He’s somewhat cold to the touch unless he forces himself to raise his internal temperature. You’re unlikely to overheat whilst cuddling with him, but you’ll need a thick blanket or you may end up shivering after a few minutes, at which point he’ll try his best to be warmer and apologise profusely. He hates being warm, though - best to just go for the layers of blankets.

- Y’know that one thing where (usually) a girl goes up to her boyfriend and climbs into his lap whilst he’s gaming? Adores that. Oh, it makes him so, so happy. The first time you do it he drops his controller and after a minute of startled silence where you wonder just how red his face can get, he wraps his arms around you tight enough that you feel your spine click, and he buries his face into your neck and stays there for as long as you let him. He’s so flustered and yet, you can tell he’s happier than he’s ever been. It instantly cheers him up no matter how bad his mood is. It’s even better if you’re playing a game on a handheld system whilst he plays or watches something and the two of you are just, wrapped around each other but still doing your own thing. He just wants you close to him. He just wants to know you like him. Please give this boy cuddles.

Satan

- Ideal cuddles: Like Mammon, in a bed he likes to have his arms around your waist and for the two of you to be facing each other. Your room would be ideal but he would really rather be in his so much he ends up cleaning all the books off his bed just so he can cuddle up with you. He also likes the idea of cuddling up under a tree somewhere, or in one of those plush window seats, where you two can look out over the Devildom and he can point out different places and talk about them all - Satan has connections everywhere, and you’ll feel like you know everyone by the time he’s done.

- Satan isn’t particularly warm or cold. His temperature varies with the seasons, but he’s mostly just lukewarm. This means you’re unlikely to overheat or be too cold when you cuddle, which is always good.

- He likes to read to you or have you read to him, or ask questions back and forth to prod at each other’s minds a bit. A talkative cuddler - there are brief moments of silence, but he’s thinking constantly and he wants you to be involved in that, just like every aspect of his life. There’s usually a clear connection between one of his thoughts and the next, and he’ll have calm discussions about thinks with you in his arms.

- Only falls asleep first if he’s really, really tired. Otherwise he’ll stay up and read or talk to you until you fall asleep. Like Mammon there’s something about the peace, something about knowing you trust him, that you don’t see him as his anger, nor as his false personality that he puts on to please the others and maintain a decent status in comparison to Lucifer. You just see him as he is. He thinks about this a lot as he pets your hair.

- Speaking of petting your hair, he has a tendency to run his nails over your scalp when you’re in his arms. If you’re uncomfortable it would be best to tell him early on before the habit is set in stone. His main source of affection comes from the stray cats he feeds outside, so he just uses whatever knowledge he’s gained from that. This also means he’ll take one of your hands in his arm press gently into your palm with his thumbs, like he’s pressing the pads on a cats paw.

- Feels close to normal when he’s cuddling. Like he was never born solely of one emotion, because he feels so many in those moments that he really could be a whole on his own. He’s not one to hide this, and will openly vent to you about it. As well as this, he’s quite likely to come straight to you if he isn’t feeling well and needs cuddles to settle down. The only exception is if he’s really angry and is worried he might hurt you by accident. Even then, if you can get close enough to take his hand or wrap your arms around him, there’s a large chance he’ll settle enough to hold you in kindness and he can begin to heal.

- He doesn’t talk about it openly but one time he’s in an awful mood and you grab his head and hold it against your chest until he lets out all his emotions and feels better and it becomes his favourite thing in the world. He loves to cuddle with his head against your chest and your fingers running through his hair. You can tell that he adores it because he ends up purring and nuzzling his face against you. Unlike Luci, he hasn’t been to heaven, but he’d be able to describe the feeling of it much better than God himself could using just that embrace as his reference point.

Asmodeus

- Ideal cuddles: “Whatever you want, honey.” He isn’t picky, he just wants to be touching you in any way possible. However, he really likes laying with his head on your stomach or chest - especially if he can press light kisses against them. He wants some skin-on-skin contact, even if its holding hands or one of you burying their face in the other’s neck, or pressing feathery kisses to the insides of your wrist. It soothes him. He can’t stop himself from grinning if you nuzzle into his neck.

- He’s just the right temperature for cuddles. He’s on the warmer side, but whatever the perfect temperature is for you, he’s there. When he sleeps on his own, he likes to have a lot of blankets piled up, and then have a fan on to balance out the temperature, and he’ll push for the same setup when you’re cuddling together.

- One of the brothers who will go up to you when he wants attention. He’s the least shy, and will happily throw an arm around you anytime, anywhere. Honestly if it doesn’t bother you, he’d pull you into his lap in public or in front of his brothers and cuddle you close to him. The only problem he could possibly imagine is that other people are jealous of the two of you, so you’d really have to sit him down and explain if PDA isn’t at all your thing. Happy enough to link pinkies if that’s all you’re comfortable with, but he needs a lot of affection, so expect him to essentially trap you in his room later so you spend time with him.

- King of gentle kisses and soothingly rubbing your arms / back if you’ve not had the best day. He doesn’t mind whether you two talk or not, but on bad days he’s the best to go to - he’ll listen to everything you have to say, and verbally destroy anyone who’s annoyed you, all whilst holding your head to his chest and tracing shapes against your back.

- Loves loves loves listening to you talk about your day and then filling you in on his own. He’s a gossip but harmlessly, and will talk about whatever’s trending currently, keeping you up to date on everything. If he really wants to show you something or take a photo with you he likes to cuddle up with an arm around you and hold his phone in his other hand, scrolling through whatever social media he’s found this really interesting or horrible thing on. Otherwise he’s quiet enough, with mumbled words of affection and some suggestive jokes (and touches, if you’re comfortable. He won’t go anywhere with it if you’re just cuddling). He’s just happy and he wants to soak in it for as long as possible; he finally understands how people feel when they fall for him, he says

Beelzebub

- Ideal cuddles: Big spoon. Preferably in his bed rather than yours. He wants to wrap his arms around you, especially if you’ve already got your arms wrapped around yourself so that he’s essentially holding your hands at the same time. He buries his face at the base of your neck / top of your spine. He also really, really loves just having you cling to him in some way, and will carry you around like that - usually he loves having you curled up in one arm whilst he goes about his day or eats.

- He is so warm, but if you’re laying down he’ll insist on having a blanket because it keeps him safe from the monsters in his closet :( You’ll definitely need something to cool you down, and he gets into the habit of getting you a glass and a large jug of water before you cuddle up together because you have to stay hydrated and it should help you cool down at least a little. Get him a thin blanket and a fan of some kind and it should just about balance it out.

- He’s the opposite of Belphie, in that he doesn’t tend to cuddle for long periods of time - he wants to, and pouts any time he has to get up, but even if you help him not feel quite so hungry, he still needs to eat regularly. If you’re asleep he’ll move as slowly and carefully as possible so that he doesn’t wake you up. If you’re awake he’ll gush out apologies and then ask if you want to be wrapped up in the blanket and carried along with him. If you say no he pours a fresh glass of water and rushes out and back because he really wants to spend time with you.

- Sometimes he just gets really excited and happy and he’ll grin at you wordlessly.

- He’s quiet but in the early morning, when he wakes up, even if you’re not awake he’ll press soft kisses against your shoulders and the back of your neck and whisper whatever comes to his mind. He tends to repeat over and over that he really cares about you and that he’s really glad you’re here.

Belphegor

- Ideal cuddles: In the attic on his nest of pillows and blankets, curled up so that you’re both mainly on your backs but somewhat facing each other. No matter what he’s going to end up curling up against your side by the time he wakes up anyway. He also really likes sleeping on top of you, but this is a bit risky because he sleeps like a log and its hard to wake him up when you need to get up to eat or use the bathroom. If you’re not in the attic, the only other place outside of your rooms that he likes to cuddle up together to sleep is the planetarium, looking up at the stars together.

- He’s on the cooler side, but likes being warm - he’s used to the kind of warmth Beel produces. Because of this, he’s liable to snuggling in as close as he possibly can to you to absorb some of your heat. You’re going to become his own personal radiator.

- Unlike Beel, he will cuddle forever. There are very few things stopping him from just sleeping constantly, with the main reason being that he wants to spend time with you and Beel. In fact, you’re going to have trouble getting out of his grasp once he wraps his arms around your stomach and pulls you down onto his pillow nest. Its best to devise a system and let him get used to it - tapping on his arm or hand 3 times, or something like that, and he’ll release you. He’ll also push for you to wake him up. The only other thing that will make him release you is if he brushes a hand against your side and you’re ticklish and laugh, in which case he’ll grin and start tickling you instead.

- Like Levi, if relaxed enough he’ll slip into his demon form. It takes less energy to be in that form anyway, and he likes letting you play with his tail when you’re  cuddled up together. Acts annoyed if you start poking and prodding at him because you don’t often get to see the boys relaxed in their demon forms, but he really enjoys it. Purrs if you pet his horns.

- He’s not at all talkative but likes to listen. However, he’s liable to falling asleep very, very quickly, so it’s not worth saying anything too important to him; he’ll listen, and he’ll remember when he wakes up, but he’s not going to respond effectively in a timely manner.

- Belphie smirks and grins a lot, but sometimes he wakes up earlier than you and he looks at you until you wake up too, and you’ll see his lopsided smile as he beams at you, content. Mornings are okay like that, he decides, even if he grumbles and complains when you tell him you have to start getting ready for class.

EMBARRASMENT J.K.

Summary: Jean was thankful for your aid, not so much about the interruptions he faced. 

Warning: mentions of blood, fluff, 

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: hope everyone is having a good day :) 

"This is completely embarrassing."

"It really wasn't until you said something about it."

As much as Jean acted like he despised being taken care of, he truly adored it - especially when it was coming from you. His front always made him appear as if having someone care about him was the worst thing in the world. On the inside, his heart muddled when you offered to help him out.

Maybe the reason he hated it so much was because it showed he was prone to failure and not consistently the best. Maybe he hated it because it made him feel weak. Either way, his wounds need to be cleaned up before they got worse. He didn't heal like Eren did.

It was a stupid incident ending far worse than it was supposed to. Jean's injuries weren't bad, but you couldn't say the same about the other Cadet. One training session gone wrong all because of the male superiority of trying to figure out who was better through a fight. Jean won, barely.

He sat on his bed in the empty barracks. His shirt off so you could clean the cut on his back. A loud wince came out of him when the damp cloth dragged over the wound.

"Stop being such a baby," you rolled your eyes at him, "you did this to yourself." Jean always felt the need to prove himself, always needing to prove he could be the best there was. Maybe one day even better than the Captain himself. If that was his goal, he had a long journey ahead of him.

"Doesn't mean you have to be so rough with me," he grumbled. There were several other bruises and scratches on his skin, none of them bad enough to need attention but just enough to make you think about how much damage he did to himself. He pushed himself too hard sometimes.

"Maybe I like to be," you joked. Jean's cheeks flushed red at your comment. He was thankful you couldn't see him. Nonetheless, your chuckle didn't help his situation. Jean was weary enough about being shirtless around you, he didn't need these comments to make everything worse. Not when there were already nights he couldn't stop thinking about you.

You set aside the small bowl of now bloody water you used to clean his wound. It wasn't deep but he was certainly going to need to watch it so he didn't get an infection. Knowing him, he'd forget all about it until it was too late.

"You didn't have to help me," Jean was quiet.

"I know," you pushed yourself off the bed to grab the alcohol that was a little too far away for you to reach in your spot. Moving meant you got to face him, and the lingering blush on his cheeks. "But I wanted to. Besides," you paused, looking down his torso and strong arms before meeting his eyes again, "I like the view."

Jean let go of a breath as he felt the bed dip again. You sat closer to him this time, close enough that he could feel your thigh against his lower back and your warm breath against his skin. A clean cloth was doused in alcohol to finish cleaning his cut. Without warning, you firmly pressed it against his raw skin.

"Ah!" He groaned out. Jean's hand shot out, without thinking he clamped his fingers around your leg and squeezed his pain away. His grip was bruising, though you probably deserved it after not giving him a warning. "Christ, that hurt."

He became acutely aware of his hand on your leg. His grip on you loosened but he quickly became fearful of moving his hand away from you. Moving meant you would notice if you hadn't yet.

His palm burned through the thick layer of your pants right into your skin and spread through your body. Jean's touch was out of instinct and yet you couldn't get the thought out of your head about how damn good those hands would feel elsewhere. Everywhere.

For a lingering moment, you were both caught in your own thoughts. You were the first to break it. Standing up, his hand fell off your leg and moved back to his lap. A clean, white bandage threatened to be crushed between your hands. While Jean stared at the floor, you placed it on his cut, finishing your aid with him.

"That's it," you broke the silence. Jean looked up at you with desperate eyes. Desperate to pull you close, desperate to see just how you really felt against him. "Clean it every day, you'll be fine."

A small cut you hadn't noticed before was on his cheek. A purple bruise was beginning to form around it and you were sure it came from a heavy punch. Without thinking your hand went to the cut. It wasn't bad, a few speckles of blood around it but nothing he couldn't handle on his own.

The pad of your thumb swiped just below the wound. While your eyes were glued to the small cut, he couldn't take his off the concern on your face. Jean felt awestruck looking up at you from his bed. He nearly melted as the same hand looking over his wound cupped his cheek entirely.

Fuck it.

Jean grabbed your hips and pulled you towards him. The sudden jerk caused you to tumble onto him and having you both fall on the hard mattress. He gave you no chance to give him hell before his lips were on yours.

His kiss was hesitant, soft like he was waiting for you to peel yourself off of him and give him shit. Without needing to think you pressed further against him. You could feel his lips curl into a smile as your kiss deepened.

His hands grabbed your thighs once more, the intensity of his heat cranked up and instantly making your entire body hot. Jean flipped you around, having your head fall against his pillow. He hovered over you, his bare chest heaving with adrenaline.

"That's one way to thank me, I suppose." Jean chuckled only for a moment, not wanting to stay away from your lips. He adored how your hands trailed across his body - his chest, his shoulder, admiring the muscles on his arms before cupping his face and pulling him closer to you.

"God, I fucking adore you," Jean confessed. His lips trailed along your jaw, your neck, everywhere your skin showed. He nearly collapsed as a breathy moan broke past you when hitting a sensitive patch on your neck. Jean's teeth scrapped against the spot, desperate to get another sound of you. Instead, your fingers threaded into his hair and gave it a harsh tug.

He nipped and sucked at the spot, grinning against you as you whined and wrapped your leg around him. With your heel pressing into him, he lowered himself towards you. His lips were back to yours, desperate for your touch, your taste, everything about you.

"Jean, I-"

"Oh for fucks sake."

You swore your heart nearly burst out of your chest at the voice. Out of anyone who could have entered the room, of course, it had to be your Captain. Levi stood in the doorway, a shameful look on his face. Anyone but him. Hell, you'd take Eren bursting in over Levi. Heat crawled up your neck for an entirely different reason.

"Captain," Jean's voice cracked.

"Get off, (L/N), Cadet. Christ..." Levi dragged a hand down his face. Jean fumbled away from you and did as he was told. The two of you stood up, disheveled and embarrassed, but managed to pull a salute towards your Captain. "Get dressed. Now. You're needed."

Levi said nothing else before leaving. He shook his head on his way out the door, partly amused, partly grossed out. Either way, you'd never seen Jean's face so red in his entire life before.

"That did not just happen," he muttered out, petrified from the experience. Jean looked over to you and became even more horrified at the smile on your face. Were you seriously entertained by the embarrassment? "What the hell are you smiling about."

"Don't worry, Kirschtein," you met his shaky eyes, "you're quite the kisser."

><

You and Jean found yourselves in a crowded room with your fellow cadets. While the pink in Jean's cheek was unlikely to go away anytime soon, you couldn't get the feeling of his hands against you out of your mind. Whatever the hell the Commander was going over, you weren't paying attention to any of it.

To make matters worse, Jean's gaze was constantly going back to you and the Captain kept noticing. It was pretty obvious your mind was in the gutter and not on the task at hand.

How long did Jean want to do that? How long was this pent-up desire going on? By the neediness of his touch, you assumed it was a while. God, his touch, his hands, his lips against yours. Of course, the Captain had to ruin something so god damn perfect. It was too long you were longing for that moment.

A sinister chuckle came from your side. Connie's hand covered his mouth but it was clear he was struggling to keep quiet. The louder he got, the more eyes turned towards him. Jean met your eyes from across the room. It didn't take him long to realize why Connie was in a fit of laughter.

Your neck was tinged purple and a distinct bite mark could be seen from where he was standing. Connie was getting a front-row view. His eyes darted to Jean and upon seeing his expression, could no longer even try to hold back his laughter. Everyone in the room went silent.

"Captain was right!" Connie caught his breath. He pointed towards the mark on your neck. With all eyes on you, you felt yourself cowering in. Never in your life did you want to be somewhere else. "Jean finally gets some and immediately gets cockblocked."

A loud smack cut off Connie's laughing. Without a thought, your hand went up to smack the back of his head as loud as you could with the space you had. It shut him up pretty damn quick. Reiner, who stood beside Jean, not-so-subtly patted his shoulder. Everyone saw how he lusted after you.

"Enough," the Commander cut everyone's disruption off. Your glare at Levi did absolutely nothing to phase him. Truth was, he just found it more entertaining. That's what you got for showing up late to a meeting. "Stay on track, enough fooling around."

"Yeah, (Y/N)," Connie nudged your side, only earning another slap to the back of his head.

You still didn't know the purpose of the meeting or what was discussed by the time it was over. Thankfully, it didn't seem too important. Your brave face of holding back any embarrassment crumbled the moment you left the room. It wasn't like you were ashamed, just more so it being your Captain finding you and spreading the tale.

You made it to the bathroom, eager for a splash of cold water to hit your steaming skin. Jean certainly didn't hold back with his mark on you. You stared at it in the mirror.

The door creaked open. Assuming it was just someone to use the bathroom just like you, you didn't think much of it.

"I'm sorry." The voice caught your attention. Jean was leaning against the wall, his arms over his chest. If he didn't leave that mark on you, you wouldn't have been flustered in front of everyone. He was too caught up in the moment to think about what was next. "I didn't want to embarrass you."

"Embarrassed?" You cocked an eyebrow at him. It was the last thing you were. Frustrated was more like it. "You're giving me less credit than I'm worth, Kirstein. If you think Levi spilling what happened is going to get me bothered you don't know me too well. It's not like he saw me naked."

"I-I," Jean stuttered out. He couldn't move or speak as you approached him. He was horrified, even after all his friends told him he was doing good with you. Having you calm came as a bit of a shock. Even more so, he was worried he lost every other chance with you because of the interruption.

"You what?" Your finger dipped under his chin so he would look at your eyes instead of your neck. "Tell me, Jean, do you wanna kiss me again?"

He didn't hesitate this time. Jean gave you no warning, no confirmation, just the grasping of your face and the softness of his lips. What a stupid question, of course, he wanted to kiss you again, and again, and again until his lips were swollen and his lungs burned for air. That entire damn meeting all he could think about was your kiss.

Your back pressed against the cool tile as he trapped you in once more. Neither of you cared about being in a public washroom as his hands untucked your shirt and caressed your sides. His kiss was more confident this time, he wasn't worried about you having regret, he was worried about fulfilling your needs.

His teeth nipped at your lip as he pulled away for a breath of air. Jean loved the feeling of your hands in his hair, even more so when you used his strands to encourage him back to you.

"You can't be fucking serious."

Not again.

It was Ymir who stood in the doorway, eyes glued to Jean's body pressed against yours. Was this how the Captain felt earlier today? Disgusting. Maybe this time you deserved it. This was, after all, a washroom for the entire 104th cadets. There was nothing private about your situation.

"Hey, Ymir," your voice was a little too steady for what was going on. Ymir wanted to gag at how casually you were for being walked in on a second time in one day. Your head peaked around Jean's shoulder, his body protecting your crumpled garments from peering eyes. "We, uh, we just-"

"Getting it on in a bathroom?" She made a disgusted face. "Thought you had more class than that, Jean. Guess I was wrong. Now get the fuck out."

"Yes, Ma'am," Jean nodded towards the girl. He latched onto your hand and pulled you out of the bathroom and towards the barracks. His confidence of being able to have a moment of peace with you was dwindling by the second. Back to the barracks meant your friends would all be there, anywhere else ran the risk of running into a veteran again.

God did he wish he had his own private room.

"Jean," you gave his arm a tug to slow him down. The hallway was empty, even if it was just for a minute or two. Your free hand cupped his cheek. "I adore you, too," you never got the chance to tell him earlier before Levi walked in. You placed a single kiss on his lips, sealing your words.

"Maybe I should get injured more often," he toyed. If you helped out with every cut and scrape he received, he'd surely get all the kisses he wished for. You smacked his chest at the idea. This wound wasn't even a bad one and you were still worried about him.

"Don't forget Jean, I'm a lot better at kicking ass than I am at kissing."

“And I... Am...” [2]

A Natasha Romanoff x Gn!Avenger!Reader story

warnings: fighting, little bit of violence, angst, death (let me know if i should add any!)

A/N: Ahhh, here’s the final part of this very brief series. i hope you all enjoy and if anyone would like me to write something else my asks are open. thank you for reading! <3

tagging: @username23345

summary: 5 years ago, the avengers lost. half the world may have been taken away, but Y/N’s entire world faded to nothing in their arms. they would do anything to bring everyone back, most especially the love of their life. whatever it takes.

Part 1

Word Count: 3.7K words

(gif is not mine)

5 years. 5 years without seeing her bright, pearly white smile. 5 years without her sarcastic comments and snarky remarks. 5 years without her messy red hair sprawled across her pillow as she sleeps peacefully beside you. 5 years without her warm hugs as her lavender scented perfume invades your senses. 5 years without long nights of cuddling in each other’s arms as you watched the cheesy romcoms of your choice. 5 years without waking up to her playfully kissing your face. 5 years without her standing by your side during missions. 5 years without your little dinner dates that you both decided to go on whenever you both had the time. 5 years without her teasing kisses against your neck that made you laugh as hard as ever before. 5 long, long years without Natasha Romanoff.

Everyday without her was agonizingly slow. Every part of your shared apartment a constant reminder of your failure. Your failure to protect the world, the failure of protecting your world. Natasha always ensured your safety and protection when you needed her most, and the time she needed you; you astronomically failed her. Your heart ached every night as you fell asleep, even more so in the mornings. The mornings were the worst as you would reach over to her side of the bed, expecting to feel her peaceful form breathing steadily next to you, but you are only met with the cold white sheets of your once shared bed. The cold sheets a heartbreaking contrast to her warm body.

You didn’t get a single night of uninterrupted rest, as the memory of Natasha fading to nothing in your arms would replay over and over like a song stuck in your head. You cried the first time you returned home on that fateful day. The walls of your apartment holding the memories of happier times, when she was still alive. Her coffee cup that she never washed and left on the counter every morning still sitting where she left it that very day. You didn’t have the heart to move it. You didn’t dare to move any of her things, leaving them where she had placed them. You wore all of her hoodies though, as they still held her scent. However, you went through all of her hoodies quickly, her scent fading away just like she had. You considered not staying in the apartment, the memory of her making it hard to breathe within the confines of your shared space. But, you didn’t have the heart to leave it either. Leaving your home felt like leaving her, although your true home was her.

You tried to hold out hope though. Every single day you would go to the Avengers Compound and oversee any occurrences. You would communicate with any avengers that were not in New York or simply not on earth such as Captain Marvel, Rocket, Rhodes, and Okoye. You got consumed by your need to compensate for the failure that changed your life and absolutely wrecked your self-esteem. Although you were stuck in the past, some of the other avengers tried to move past it. Tony and Pepper brought a beautiful daughter named Morgan into the world, you were so happy for them, albeit a bit envious. Steve joined a support group, Clint was.... somewhere doing lord knows what. But you remained in the compound, constantly ignoring your own well-being, unable to stomach the failure and desperately trying to find something to hold out hope. However, your stubbornness was not for naught, as one day, while Steve visited you at the Compound, Scott Lang appeared at the front of the Compound. As he explained about Quantum Physics and the possibility of time travel, hope made its way back to you full force. You could all quite possibly make things right again. This spark of hope didn’t ignite within you only, but it also coursed through the remaining avengers when they were informed of the insane, but good idea of time travel.

——————————————————————————

Time travel. That’s our only hope of restoring what used to be. It sounds absolutely insane, but it’s the only option we have. Just the fact that there even is an option, is a miracle. Tony took a little bit of time to be on board with the idea, but he came around and now all the avengers stand together on the platform. Clint and Rhodey were set to go to Vormir. You, Tony, Banner, and Steve were to go to New York. Nebula went to Morag, Thor and Rocket went to Asgard while Scott stayed behind. What felt like hours for the team, was only a minute in real time. As you all made it back to the present, you looked around at the entire team. “Did we get them all?” You turn to your right and look at Banner. “You mean to tell me this actually worked?” You asked with a wide smile. Suddenly, a thud is heard to your left.

The entire team looks at Rhodes, he is soaked and it is then you notice Clint’s absence. “Rhodey? Where’s Clint?” You ask nervously. Rhodes just looks up at the team with sorrow evident in his eyes. The whole room knew what that meant as it fell silent, you dropped to your knees. You were as close to Clint as Nat was, given he was your girlfriend’s best friend. Your soul was absolutely crushed by the news, and the fact that someone would have to tell his family about his sacrifice to bring everyone back was heart crushing. However, Clint’s death only fueled the motivation to get this over with once and for all. No one had time to truly mourn as now that the team retrieved the stones, the stones just needed to be placed into the gauntlet.

However, this was not the hardest part, no. The hardest part was figuring out who should actually snap their fingers. Thor, Tony, and yourself offered to do the snap, but Banner immediately intervened. “It’s gotta be me. You saw what those stones did to Thanos. It almost killed him. None of you could survive.” He said solemnly. “How do we know you will?” You asked him seriously. “We don’t, but the radiation is mostly gamma. It’s like, I was made for this.” He finished off, and everyone in the room begrudgingly agreed. Unfortunately, before Banner could even put his hands on the gauntlet, the compound was attacked by a huge explosion, sending everyone flying in different directions, some knocked out by the impact and buried beneath rubble.

——————————————————————————

You wake up with a groan, you entire body is aching. You slowly open your eyes and take in your surrounds. You are buried beneath the concrete of the compound. The once magnificent architectural building, now a destroyed foundation. You look to your right and notice that water is flooding into the area where you, Rhodes, and Rocket are trapped. You noticed that Rocket and Rhodes are both trapped under a piece of cement and you use your powers to lift it off of them before dropping it back onto the ground with a grunt.

You speak into comms, “Is anyone there? We’re trapped and are unable to get out of here. I can hold off the water, but I can’t get us back to the surface.” Your powers are strong, but it will take a great deal of energy to get yourself, Rhodes, and Rocket out of here. You have no clue how deep you guys are below the surface. But you could at least hold off the water until someone is able to save you all. Scott replies and says “I’m on my way, I’ll get you guys.” And you mumble a “thanks” before asking another question, “How on earth did this happen?” you ask this as you use your powers to form some sort of blockade to keep the water from drowning you all. Scott suddenly appears, going back to his regular size and says “Nebula was compromised. You guys better hang onto something,” as he turns into a giant and breaks you all out of the concrete cage you were held in.

As you all return to the surface, Scott places the three of you on the ground. You take notice of the state of Steve, Tony, and Thor. They are badly beaten as Thanos cowers over them. Your eyes widen as you notice the ships approaching behind Thanos, along with his army of thousands. You, Rocket, Rhodey, (and Gamora??) together, ready to attack. You have no time to question Gamora’s sudden seeming resurrection as you notice Banner is the only one missing from the bunch, nowhere to be seen. You turn to everyone as you point at the gauntlet in Gamora’s arms and speak “Protect that gauntlet at all costs, don’t let him get to it. As soon as Banner is spotted, give it to him so he can do the snap and end this, once and for all. Understand?” Everyone nods in acknowledgement at your words.

A sense of deja vu hits you as you turn to face the impending battle. Once again you all are drastically outnumbered, you all must stand and fight against Thanos once more. The only differences being that you all are 5 years older, half of the universe’s population is gone, and Natasha is not by your side. The entire team is angered that this happened in the first place and the desire and will to defeat the mad titan is as strong as its ever been. You all failed to protect the world and your loved ones once, you all refused to lose this battle again. You all have something to fight for. You all attack and after what felt like hours of fighting Thanos’ army, you notice Scott running with the gauntlet, and your eyes widen as Thanos makes his way towards Scott. You quickly throw the enemies you were dealing with, with the flick of your hand and rush for the titan head-on.

Using your vibrant blue powers, you strike Thanos with a powerful beam of energy. Thanos tries to block himself but is a little too late as he’s sent flying back. “You took everything from me.” You say angrily and with a vengeful conviction as your eyes turn blue and your blue powers waver across your hands, levitating you a few feet off the ground. The titan stares at you as he stands and says “I don’t even know who you are.” You look at him and tilt your head, and reply with a dangerous calmness, “You will.” You then end up encasing Thanos, holding him up high in the air, your powers acting as blue hands. You squeeze him with all the strength you can conjure up and start to rip off his armor without laying a finger on him. “Rain fire!” The titan exclaimed to his servant. “But sire, our troops.” “Just do it!” Thanos screams. Unfortunately, you were so caught up in your rage that you failed to notice what Thanos was saying. You were soon knocked out with a powerful blast from a ship above you. Your grip on Thanos no more as you flew across the field and were knocked unconscious.

——————————————————————————

You wake up and groggily try to take in your surroundings. Your entire team beat to the ground. Banner, Scott, and Clint are unconscious, and the rest of the team are too weakened to move. Captain Marvel was also here, when she got here? You have no idea, but that doesn’t matter as she was knocked out as well. However, at least the giant ships and Thanos’ army had been taken out. You guys did impressively well considering how outnumbered you all were. You look away from your battered teammates beside you and you feel panic wash over you. Above you, the massive titan stands, placing the gauntlet on his hand. No. He CANNOT get that gauntlet, you think in a panic. However, your body is too weak to get up, you still try to stand with every ounce of strength that’s left in your body, but to no avail. All of a sudden, you feel a tingling sensation from your hands that you have never felt before.

You look at your hands and notice little sparks of electricity forming. This has never ever happened before, your powers are a dark blue and are more like laser beams than sparks. What is happening? As you stared at your hands, you failed to notice Mjölnir rising beside Thor. Mjölnir abruptly launches itself into your hand, and you suddenly feel a surge of electricity flow through your veins, giving you a spark of energy. The people who are still conscious are shell-shocked as they had all tried and failed to wield the mighty hammer. You yourself had even failed to lift Mjölnir all those years ago before the Ultron situation, but now here you were, worthy and determined to win this battle. As you attempt to stand once more, Thor joyfully exclaims “I knew it!” At Thor’s words, Thanos stomps on Thor, successfully knocking the Asgardian God out cold.

You rise to your feet, the only thing on your mind being that you need to bring Natasha back. You charge at Thanos, rising off the ground as your dark blue powers mixed with the lightning of mjölnir radiate off of you. You struck the titan with a powerful, concentrated hit with Mjölnir before using up the most power you ever have. You manage to do damage to Thanos, but with the gauntlet on he manages to use the stones to fight against your own powers. As he hits you, he fails to notice you exchange the gauntlet with the stones, with another gauntlet that he failed to notice lying on the ground. As your body is flung like a ragdoll across the floor, you look up as Thanos says “I... am inevitable.” And he snaps his fingers, but nothing happens. He, along with everyone else looks confused as he does this. All of them were puzzled, except for you.

You get on your knees and place the real gauntlet on. The energy so powerful as it courses through your veins, it’s an intense burn as if your blood was made of fire, pumping through every part of your body. You look around at the team, the people you have grown to love and call a family. You know that this will be the end of you, but you are content with that. What better way to go than saving the world and bringing the love of your life back? The team seems aware of your fate as well, the sadness evident on the faces of the broken down avengers. It hurt them, but they knew it had to be done. They couldn’t stop you, even if they tried. You already had the gauntlet on and you had made up your mind. After one last glance at your family, you focus back on Thanos, who stares at you in shock. A human wielding the stones, that was a sight for sore eyes. The snap almost killed Thanos the first time, imagine now? You have powers of your own, yes, but you’re still a human. You take a deep breath, your mind is racing as it is taken over by thoughts of Natasha. How you’ll never get to see her red hair and green eyes sparkle again, how you’ll never hear her raspy laugh that warms you up inside, and how you’ll never have the future you both had always wanted together. But you remind yourself that this is all for her, and that was the final push you needed to follow through with this plan.

You stare Thanos dead in the eye again as you shakily say “I... Am...” you envision Natasha and her big bright smile as you finally say “an Avenger.” And with the snap of your fingers, a bright light consumes your body and radiates across the field. All you hear is the ringing in your ears and all you can focus on is the burning of your charred body. The conscious team members gather around you, they are all speaking to you but you can’t fully hear what they’re saying. They sound far away even though they’re right in front of you. You watch as Thanos and his little servants disappear into dust, just like half of the population did 5 years ago. You release a heavy sigh of relief at the sight.

You look back to Steve who’s directly in front of you. He reaches into his pocket and dials a number, and when he turns the phone towards you, you notice the contact name; Natasha. Steve’s eyes widen as the redhead actually answers her phone, it worked. He however, tried to swallow his shock as he let’s her know that you’ll be put on the line. He doesn’t have the heart to inform her of your condition. You use every muscle in your body just to reach out for the phone and grasp it in your hand. “Hello? Y/N, baby?? Where are you?? What happened??” You smile widely at the sound of her deep, raspy voice as your eyes slowly start to close. The team panics as they try to convince you to keep your eyes open just a little longer, Natasha’s voice sounding more concerned and alarmed at the coaxing of the team. We did it, we really did it... she’s okay... it’s okay... is your final thought as your eyes close even further. The darkness is so tempting and you find yourself falling deeper and deeper into it, until you’re consumed by it. Never to see the light again.

——————————————————————————

2 weeks later

At your funeral, Nat was suspiciously devoid of emotion as the ceremony commenced. It was so weird for the team to see and they were genuinely worried. Natasha was always sure to not make her emotions known, it’s how she was trained as an assassin, but to show no emotion after losing the love of her life? Definite cause for concern. After the beautiful ceremony and burial, the team all returned to Tony’s cabin, he let the team know that there was something he needed to share with them. Tony stands before the team in his living room and places his iron man helmet on the mantle. He clears his throat before he begins, “Before the time heist, Y/N approached me and asked me a favor. They borrowed my iron man helmet and asked me to play this recording if things went south. So, this is me fulfilling their final wish.”

You appear as a hologram, sitting on a chair in your time heist suit. “So, if you’re watching this.. that means that I’m... yanno” and you make a throat slicing motion with a little laugh. You then realize that the people watching this will most likely not find humor in your little joke and immediately stop laughing. “I hope that in watching this, that means that we succeeded in bringing everyone back. It’s all we have been hoping and praying for, for the past 5 years. And I pray to God... or to Thor... that it worked out.” You actually laugh at your terrible attempt at a joke. Everyone in the room laughs at your corniness with tears in their eyes.

“If we did win, that must mean that you’re here Natasha.” You pause and take a deep breath. At the mention of the redhead, the room falls silent as Nat watches intensely, desperate to hear what you have to say to her. You proceed, your voice wavering as you were overcome with emotion, “I’m so sorry that I had to leave you so soon. I’m so sorry that we’ll never have the chance to get married and have little rascals of our own running around a little farmhouse of our own in the middle of nowhere like we always dreamt of. But, the day you left me, those 5 long years ago, a part of me left with you. And I would do anything to get you back, and I’m sure I’ve proven that to be true if you’re seeing this.” You take another break as your voice starts cracking, as Natasha finally let a tear escape.

You suddenly stand up, and move over to the camera, staring directly into it with an intense gaze. “But Nat, baby, you have to listen to me when i say that this is not the end of the world. It may feel like it, but I promise you it’s not. Those 5 years without you, I felt as though I was drowning in grief and despair, but then hope made its way into my life when Scott suddenly appeared on the steps of the compound. And I promise you that you will have hope again, not for my return, but for happiness in your life again, without me.” At your words, Natasha shakes her head furiously as silent tears steadily fall across her pale cheeks.

You giggle “I know you won’t believe me right now, but you will one day my love. You were wrong that day in Wakanda. You WILL survive this. You must move on eventually, as impossible as it sounds and as much as it kills me to say. Please do not give up on the world, don’t push everyone away, but let them in. I gave my life up so you could live yours, and I know you wouldn’t let my life go to waste.” You stop and look down at your watch. “I have to go now, if this time heist thing goes to plan, then everyone who vanished will return. God, I hope so.... I love you Natalia Alianovna Romanova.” You look down at your hands, and back up at the camera and say your final words.

“Remember...” you begin while moving closer to the helmet, “You could never lose me moya lyubov... I’m yours forever.” You smile tearily and the recording ends. Those last words were what finally did it for Natasha. All the emotion she was keeping bottled up broke loose and she had no control of the wheel of her emotions as she slammed head first into a breakdown. Natasha cried in sorrow as she mourned the possibilities that are no longer possible and screamed out in anguish for the unfulfilled promises of a happy, long life with you by her side.

The world had won, but Natasha had lost her world.

Away From Home

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Captain America: The First Avenger

Pairing: 1940s! Bucky Barnes x Female! Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky are half a world apart. How are they holding up without each other? ft. some love letters!

Word Count: 1644

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, hint of smut, angst, talk about war, mention of suicide. Please read at your own risk!

Authors Note: Just want to thank my beautiful wife @buckybarnesdiaries for hyping me up with this series! Not everything may be accurate to the 1940s, war or Bucky’s story. My apologies! Enjoy loves <3

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

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It wasn’t easy being all alone without your other half, but you managed to fill up your day with fun and responsibilities to take your mind off it. The women at the office missed their husbands immensely, just like yourself, so it was good that you all took comfort in one another. It was good to talk with them about the shared feelings of fear and uncertainty that came with the men going off to war.

The office work that was ordinarily boring to you became very interesting as your bosses ordered you around. At home, you had organized your various pieces of literature more times than what was necessary. You couldn’t either count how many times you’ve gone “I missed a spot” on the kitchen counter when it was nothing there in reality.

When there was nothing at home to do, you called up your girlfriends, hoping they would be willing to go out on the town. The few times they were up for it, you forgot all about the hurt inside as you danced the night away with your best friends.

Bucky's parents could come and go as they pleased. Your house was their house; whenever they wanted to drop by, they could. On the weekends, they would invite you home to their residence for dinner and drinks. It was sweet of them to ask you. You already had a strong relationship with them that only increased with you spending more time with your parents-in-law.

The stories they would tell you about James growing up in Indiana with his siblings were stored in your memories to use late at night when you couldn’t sleep. Those thoughts would turn into dreams and scenarios of him and your child that you would hopefully get pregnant with soon.

On the few occasions his parents and your girlfriends had other plans, you sat mostly inside staring at one spot on the wall. The book by your side would only be read a few pages before it was placed to the side again so you could continue gawking at the flower patterns on the wall.

That’s how you were sat now. The television was on, but you weren’t paying attention to the boring movie you had watched countless times playing on the screen. You decided that you would write another letter to James. Writing letters to your husband and receiving letters from him was the thing that brought you joy and was the closest you could come to him for the time being. Picking up the pen and paper, the words flowed easily as you wrote.

~~~~~~~~~~

My Dearest,

I feel I must write you again altho there is not much news to tell you from the last time I wrote. Work is keeping me busy, while your parents’ comfort and the fun my girlfriends are bringing keeps me content. I dreamt last night my husband. I dreamt about a child. Our child. A child that will bring us love and joy in the future.

I miss you terribly, my love. I miss the warmth from your touch as we are tangled in the sheets together. I miss the softness of your voice as the words whispered in my ear are meant for me only. I miss your laugh filling up the house that feels so empty now without you. I miss you. There is nothing more that I desire in life but to have you with me constantly.

I wonder how you are getting along, my love. I shall be so relieved to get a letter from you. I can’t help feeling a bit anxious for you, my dear. Thinking about what you are going through in the gruesome war overseas. I pray to whatever higher power exists for you to survive and come home to me in my arms.

Well, my husband, my brave soldier, I don’t know what more to say now, so I will finish this letter with fondest love and kisses from your wife.

I love you the most. From yours truly,

xoxo

~~~~~~~~~~

You sealed up the envelope containing your love letter for your husband, your other half, your soul mate, and hoped that it would bring him a hint of delight in his usual dark, empty and deadly war days.

Somewhere in hostile Germany…

With barely enough sleep from the night before, Bucky rested his eyes for the few minutes they had before it was out on another day of fighting the opposition. The faint sound of bombs dropping was heard in the distance. His heart started pumping in both fear and excitement to be out there again.

As his eyes were closed, he sat and wondered what his wife was up to at the moment. You were most likely at work. What would you have for dinner later? Something good, he hoped. It would at least be ten times better than what he ate for breakfast, soggy bread with a slice of cheese on top.

His mouth watered at the thought of a homemade meal from you right now. You always made the tastiest and fulfilling dinners.

What were you doing after? Out with your girlfriends? Were his parents coming to visit? Either way, he hoped you had the most beautiful time being as carefree as you always were.

When the darkness came, and it was time for bed, what would you be doing? Had the day been exhausting that you dropped dead on the covers as soon your head hit the pillow, or would you stay up and think about him?

His mind started racing to you, touching yourself dead at night while you remembered the last time the two of you were intimate. The thought about you moaning his name so softly and innocently had him adjusting himself in the seat.

Not now, Buck. We have to leave soon. There’s no time for that now.

“BARNES! Post for you.”

Once he had the letter in hand, he immediately knew it was you from the little drawing you drew on the envelope. You always did some form of artwork on it that had his heart warm up.

A single tear ran down his cheek after finishing the heartwarming letter. He could never fully express to you and his parents how these letters had saved him when he needed it the most. When he had thought about ending it all after watching the inhumane things he had witnessed that no human should ever have to see, the pieces of love from you and his family were what kept him going.

There was still some time left before they had to go out to war again. So he took that chance at writing a reply to his wife.

~~~~~~~~~~

My Darling,

Thank you for the heartwarming letter. It found me well in the time when I needed it the most. I so long to be close to you. Trust my love that I do not forget you. I am doing everything in my power so that these few lines reach you.

I am happy to hear that you are keeping yourself busy with work, friends, and family. I’m jealous.

I miss you terribly, my love. If only we could be together soon. I’d give anything to be back in the comfort of your arms. To be tangled in the sheets together. To feel you wrapped so tightly around me in all the ways possible. To hear your laugh that fills my heart with warmth and butterflies. Soon my love, soon.

A child? I’ll give you as many children as you want when I return safely to you. We will buy a big house out in the countryside to raise our children and grow old if that’s what my wife desires.

The war? I don’t know what there is to say? I won’t sugarcoat it. The war is brutal and gruesome. It is something I don’t even wish upon my worst enemy to experience the things I’ve seen and gone through. Don’t be alarmed, my love, by the words you just read. As long as I have you in my mind, I can make it through the days and nights.

There is not much more for the time being to write to you. Just know that I am coming back to you after the terrible war is over.

I love you the most. From your brave soldier,

xoxo

~~~~~~~~~~

He sealed it up in an envelope, and he once again hoped that this wouldn’t be the last letter he ever wrote to you.

A few weeks later…

You waited anxiously out on the steps of your home for the postman to arrive. Legs were bouncing up and down in anticipation if today was the day a new letter from James would arrive.

“Morning, ma’am,” the postman nodded at you. By now, he knew very well who you were as he would find you most days waiting for him to bring you the mail.

“I believe this is yours.” He handed you a single letter. A smile on his face once he saw the excitement on yours when you realize it was from your husband.

“Thank you, George.”

“Have a wonderful day, Y/N.” “You too.”

You opened it right there on the steps. There was no time to walk a few meters into the house to read it.

You took the time to read the lines on the paper written by your love. Sadness came over you as you read the part about war, but a smile was left on your lips nonetheless after you had read the whole thing a few times over.

You clutched it to your heart. To try and feel that extra bit of love that radiated off it. A few tears rolled down your cheeks.

Soon my love. Soon you will be back safe and sound in my arms again.

Credit @ firefly-graphics for the wonderful divider

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Spew

(This is a Yandere Lucius Malfoy x Sick Female Reader story! I hope you like it, and it’s not too OOC :))

TW: !mentions of past noncon, !pregnancy!, !mentions of vomit, !you also have the flu :((, Lucius calls himself Daddy!, etc..) 

Stirring your pot of (pot roast/soup) with an increasingly heavy hand, you try to hold back your feeling of vomiting. The pregnancy Lucius forced onto you hasn’t been going very well thus far, leaving you with lots of morning sickness, headaches, and you’re now stuck with the flu. The food you make for the death eater constantly makes you feel sick, the smell of it revolting you, even through a stuffy nose. 

You don’t know how Narcissa held out for so long, and you can’t help but be angry she left him. If she hadn’t left, the Slytherin man wouldn’t have stolen you away. Or, so your toxic thoughts think. 

You know that she and Draco feel horrible that they couldn’t stop the Malfoy from doing this to you, but there was nothing anyone could truly do. That fact alone kills you every time you cry yourself to sleep at night. 

The tang of copper at the back of your throat signifies that you need to run to the bathroom, so with shaky hands, you quickly shut off the cooker, and hobble to the bathroom down the hall. Once inside, you fall to your knees, chucking the lid off of the loo, before hurling your breakfast into the ceramic bowl. Tears trail down your cheeks, dropping into the bowl below you, as you continue to be sick. 

Resting a hand on your growing tummy, you can’t help but curse at it. If it weren’t for the foetus inside of you, you wouldn’t be feeling this horrible! 

Heeled footsteps echo down the hall in quick succession, as your captor opens the restroom door, and kneels behind you. He gives no mind to his expensive clothing, reaching out to (hold back your hair/rub your shoulders reassuringly).

“It’s alright, Darling. Let it out,” He kisses the top of your sweaty forehead, the blond’s large form dwarfing yours, which is currently curled around the ceramic in discomfort. Lucius is literally the last person you wish to see, “Daddy is here now, he’ll take care of you.”

You wouldn’t need him if he didn’t force you to be his ‘home maker.’ He’d claimed that he made a mistake letting his last wife out and about, allowing her to forget her ‘place’ was only with him. That thought alone makes you throw up again, entire body lurching. 

Lucius’ large hand finds its way to your tummy, its warmth wrapping around yours, making you feel uneasy. 

The both of you sit in silence for a moment, waiting to see if you’d spew again. When you didn’t for a good five minutes, your ‘husband’ gathers you in his arms, lifting you off of the floor. You rest comfortably against his chest, as he closes the lid, and flushes its contents down. 

“You did well, let’s get you to our room. I’ll have a maid bring you (meat/vegetable) broth,” The blond massages your left shoulder in soothing circles, his other hand squeezing the area at the bottom of your spine, just above your cute ass. 

Once inside your shared room, he sets you on your side of the bed, helping you sit underneath your coal grey covers. He props your pillows behind your aching spine, allowing you to be comfortable. 

“There we are,” He gives you an uncharacteristic smile, caressing your face lovingly, “Are you comfortable, My Sweet?” 

You nod, sniffing pathetically, “Yes, thank you,” He reaches over to your side table, grabbing a kleenex for your dripping nose. Nodding in thanks, you take it, blowing your nose into it. 

“You’re absolutely adorable, my (Your Name). I’m so happy you’re with me,” You don’t say anything, tired eyes starting to close, “Uh-uh, you can’t sleep yet. You need something in your tummy for you and the little one.” 

Reaching over to the bedside table once more, he grabs your house phone, dialing the head maid’s number. After a few rings, the older woman answers, “Tracy, bring up (Your Name)’s favourite broth. She isn’t feeling very well,” He then sets the receiver back onto its holder, turning back to you, and grabbing your hands gently, “There, now talk with me. I wish to know what you did today.”

His warm hands make yours sweat in anxiety, “Well, I made you breakfast before your meeting. I then read my book for a few hours, before I started on your dinner. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to finish it, due to me getting sick.”

He pinches your cheek adoringly, “You’re so wonderful to me, My Love. Are you-” He’s cut off by a series of knocks, making him sigh through his nose in mind annoyance, “Come in.”

The head nurse hurries inside, balancing the bowl with practised movements. She hands it and the spoon off to Lucius, before bowing, and hurrying out of the room. 

Turning back to you, he smiles once more, using the spoon to mix your broth, “Here you go. Be a good Darling and eat well.”

You nod, opening your mouth nonchalantly, allowing him to feed you. 

He feeds you multiple spoonfuls, before you feel too full to eat anything more. 

“Thank you, Daddy, but I’m full now. I think I’ll get sick again if I eat any more,” He nods, setting the bowl aside. Lucius then helps you lie back, using your maternity pillow to cushion your bump whilst you lay on your left side. 

“Good girl, go ahead and sleep. You need your energy for tomorrow, after all, I wish to take you to my meeting.”

You nod absentmindedly, eyes feeling heavy. Your entire body hurts, along with your pride, making you pass out almost instantly. 

Lucius watches you sleep for a few moments, sighing to himself happily. Standing to his feet, he heads to your large walk-in closet, changing out of his designer clothing. Stepping into a luxurious pajama set, he heads towards your shared bed, before sliding in next to you. He holds your sleeping form close, even though it’s quite early in the night, he can’t help but fall asleep next to you. 

His heart feels so warm when he’s with you. 

That’s why he can’t let you or this baby go. 

That’s why he needs to keep you happy and healthy.

With that thought in mind, he lets himself slip into a giddy slumber, excited to introduce you to the Dark Lord in the morning. 

Hopefully the health potion he slipped into your food will be enough to make you well. 

checkmate

summary: you’ve always refused to lose, and love was no exception. (gone girl-ish au)

pairing(s): ransom drysdale x dark!reader, a special mystery guest ;) 

word count: 3.7k

warnings: 18+ because of heavy themes! faked death, framing of crimes, manipulation, alluding to sex, alluding to cheating, terrible relationship dynamic, very loose usage of the word crazy/psychotic, implied mention of self harm, brief choking & slapping (in a non sexual way lol), pregnancy trapping (idk if thats the right term), the reader is a very bad human being, overuse of italics  *please let me know if i’m missing any warnings!

author’s note: this is my 2nd submission for @stargazingfangirl18’s 5k soft dark challenge, i decided to make the reader dark >:) but ransom is also not a good person. I used these prompts: “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.” & The town golden *girl isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks.

this is definitely the most unhinged thing i’ve ever written, but blame @literate-lamb for making me write this because when i pitched this to her and said that i’d probably never write it, she enabled me. 

okay that's enough from me. join my taglist if you want :D

“I know women whose entire personas are woven from a benign mediocrity. Their lives are a list of shortcomings: the unappreciative boyfriend, the extra ten pounds, the dismissive boss, the conniving sister, the straying husband. I've always hovered above their stories, nodding in sympathy and thinking how foolish they are, these women, to let these things happen, how undisciplined. And now to be one of them! One of the women with the endless stories that make people nod sympathetically and think: Poor dumb bitch.” Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

Your whole life, you’d considered yourself a competitive person. Constantly overcompensating for one thing or another, whether it was the chronic desire to achieve perfection that had been installed in you since you were a little girl, or your persistent internalized sense of inadequacy. You realized early on that it was much better for you to win than for you to lose, no matter the physical, emotional, or mental cost of the prize of perfection.

For the most part, this mindset worked out for you. You graduated as Valedictorian from your high school, neared the top of your graduating class at Harvard. God knew you earned it, all those tears you shed into overpriced textbooks, all the popping of unprescribed Adderall, and robbing yourself of the parties and social events that the rest of your peers gladly indulged in. 

You were just different, which was why you gained a job nearly immediately after your exit from school, quickly climbing to the top at the Blood Like Wine publishing company after only a few years of being there. 

And one night, at the party celebrating the release of A Thousand Knives when you laid your eyes on Hugh Ransom Drysdale, the grandson of your boss, you knew that you needed to have him. Rich, hot, a bit of an asshole. You deserved to finally complete your image, and that socialite flavored eye candy seemed to fit the part perfectly. Luckily for you, he was desperate. It only took a few tugs on your dress’ V-line, and a number of knowing smirks to find yourself being finger-banged in his family manor’s bathroom.

From there, you wormed your way into his life. Leaving belongings at his place as an excuse to come back, and offering booty calls in the middle of the night. Ransom must’ve been much more desperate than you originally thought, as it really only seemed to take one night of stroking his hair while he vented about his family to make him want to be with you. Men with mommy issues were always so easy. 

Except, he wasn’t that easy. The longer you got to know Ransom, the more fucked up you realized he really was. He had no boundaries at all, became jealous and enraged at the drop of a pin, and occasionally told you things that made the hairs on your arms rise. 

This of course all came to a head after the night of Harlan’s 85th birthday party. When the news broke of his tragic death, you’d immediately known it was the works of your Hugh. If your intuition wasn’t enough, his confession in the shower, where he’d demanded you take off your clothes to display that you were without a bug, certainly was. 

You were completely devastated. The man that you’d invested so much into for years had thrown both his and your reputations down the drain in just a matter of hours. Of course, you felt bad for Harlan too. He was a good guy (when he wasn’t instigating a family fight).

Still, you showed up during the funeral in your best mourning clothes and dawning your biggest crocodile tears. You rubbed Linda’s back while she mourned the loss of her father, and the new truth about her husband. You played dumb when interrogated by some Southern private investigator, even giving Ransom an airtight alibi. You testified on his behalf in court with enough conviction to grant you an Emmy. 

You’d gotten so far, devoted so much energy into him, that you simply refused to lose now. 

To your friends, you’d seemed to lead a near perfect life. Dream job, dreamy boyfriend, dream bank account, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted more, you just didn’t know what. 

It dawned on you while sipping mimosas at the country club, Ransom playing tennis with his friends just a few yards away from you while Danielle showed off her brand new engagement ring, a .59 Carat Asscher Diamond, that if you heard her speak of again, would probably make you lose your shit.

You zoned out as she droned on and on about the shape, and how Matt proposed to her in their own private room in one of the most exclusive Parisian restaurants, instead focusing on how you could find yourself in the same position as that airhead next to you. In all honesty, you couldn’t stand the idea that someone was doing better than you, let alone someone in your own social circle. Dani got all the bragging rights of being engaged to the heir of some tech giant, being the first in your friend group to get eloped, and worst of all, Matt wasn’t even making her sign a prenup. 

You blankly watched Ransom from afar, taking occasional sips from your sweet drink, while you thought of how you deserved all of that and more, and you were going to get it one way or another. 

——

It didn’t take much to come up with something, your first and most obvious plan being to simply ask Ransom when he was going to propose to you. Of course, this wasn’t the first time you’d tried to approach him about this subject, you just wondered if maybe this time things would be different.

Panting heavily after a rather rough night in bed, you rolled off of your boyfriend’s chest and gave him a messy, yet sincere kiss. You knew your man well, and if there was any time to pop the question, it was in his post-nut haze.

“Baby,” you said breathily, “I wanna ask you something.”

“Shoot,” he responded casually, glancing over at you. 

“When’re you gonna propose to me?” you hummed.

Ransom groaned and shook his head, rolling his eyes, “this is about Matt and Dani, huh?” he tutted, then extended a hand out to your warm cheeks so he could gently caress one with his thumb. “Thought we agreed marriage is just a piece of paper and it’s stupid.”

You huffed in response.

Of fucking course.

“I never said that,” you muttered, setting a hand on his broad chest. “Besides, it’ll be good if you get pissed and decide to like, kill your dad or something. Y’know, spouses don’t have to testify against each other in court.”

Ransom chuckled as if this whole thing was funny, like your feelings were some kind of sick joke to him. “You know my lawyers, babe. They could prove that bees don’t make honey. That bears don’t shit in the forest. I appreciate your attempt, though. This has been some really nice pillow talk.” 

“Whatever,” you muttered, pinching his nipple in retaliation before turning your back to him and yanking the blanket onto your side. 

You weren’t sure why you were so surprised that he was being stubborn, most of the time you felt like you were pulling teeth from the man. But that’s why you had a backup plan! You always had a backup plan. That’s what separated you from your boyfriend. Where Ransom was extemporized and impulsive, you were calculating and prudent. 

Although you devised your plan that very afternoon while watching your partner backhand small green balls, you were going to need some time to get everything in order, to prove Murphy and his stupid law wrong in making sure that everything that could go wrong wouldn’t. 

After all, love was a game. And you sure as hell weren’t losing to Hugh Drysdale. 

——

You sacrificed too much to have your plans ruined by some trust fund baby with impulsivity issues. You deserved your dream marriage, the stability you wished you had as a child. You wanted the white picket fence, and everything that came along with it. Your desire to be the best, to be perfect was what drove you to poke holes in every condom in the box, what led you to draw liters of your own blood in hopes of staging a fake crime scene, to buy a cheap getaway car and burner phone off of Craigslist, and reach out to a high school boyfriend who you knew was in a position as desperate as you. 

You planted seeds of doubt in your friends throughout the following weeks, feeding them lies about Ransom’s behavior, how you were afraid of telling him that you did in fact see two faint red lines on that damn plastic stick– only half of the statement truly being false–, telling them that he was behaving erratically lately.

It all was going without a hitch. Ransom didn’t seem to notice anything was off, despite your frequent visits to the bathroom and newfound affinity for true crime documentaries. 

You almost felt guilty, knowing the world of pain you were about to throw the man into. Granted, he deserved the pain. You were in a relationship with a genuinely terrible person, and that person had made a conscious effort not to commit to you. You tried to make this easy for him, give him a chance to say a few words to you and slide a ring on your finger, but no, he always seemed to take the hard route.

You slept like a baby the night before you were setting your plan in action. You made sure to uphold the facade of everything being fine, making Ransom a nice breakfast before sending him halfway across town to the hardware store with an oddly incriminating list.

Once he was out of the house, you hurried off to the fridge in the garage where you’d been keeping a small stash of your own blood. It wasn’t pretty, but it had to be done. You poured the blood throughout the kitchen, splattering bits of it on the counters and cupboards. You poorly cleaned the mess, just as he would.

You put your next move in motion, falsifying a home invasion. You tossed over a table and some chairs, throwing books and photos onto the floor, but left some aspects slightly untouched, like an upright picture frame to give yet another hint that things were not exactly what they appeared. 

You left a tiny blue post-it note on the nightstand of Ransom’s side of the bed, a quick and simple doodle of a ring along with the first initial of your name inked onto the tiny piece of paper. 

With that, you were off. Technically missing, soon-to-be presumed dead.

----

 The days following your disappearance had gone even better than you’d initially planned. Local news coverage had been all over you, search and rescue groups were assiduously looking for you, your parents had opened a tip line, and begged for you to get home safe on news segments. But the best part of it all was that Ransom had been briefly found himself in police custody, only to be released shortly thereafter. His past of an accused murder quickly made your disappearance even more of a national story, and you watched the whole thing unravel from the safety and comfort of your high school boyfriend, Andy Barber’s Newton home. 

Of course, you fed him the same lies you’d given to your friends, and seeing the rather lonely position he was in, he gladly let you stay with him. You were absolutely having a hay-day with it all, dedicating hours of your day to watching Ransom slowly unravel. Maybe it was a bit sadistic of you to enjoy torturing your partner so much, but he needed to learn his lesson. You deserved better. You needed Ransom to rise up to your level, allowing you to finally complete your image. To let you two appear to be the perfect couple. Really, this was all on him.

Andy, for the most part, had been a good host. He was gone for the majority of the day, dedicating himself to his work while you lounged around on his dangerously cozy couch. Around two weeks into your stay, you were sharing a box of pizza in the living room with your old lover when something interesting on the television caught your eye.

Ransom, broadcasted on CBS, being interviewed on your disappearance. 

You watched with wide eyes as Ransom begged for your return on national television. It was one thing seeing your mother plead for you to come back, the same woman who had installed such toxic behavior in you sob for your return, but Ransom. You’d never loved him more than in that moment.

“Hugh, if you could tell Y/N one thing, what would it be?” the interviewer asked.

Ransom turned, looking straight at the camera, directly into your soul, “Y/N, I love you so much. More than you’ll ever know. I need you to come back safely, to see you, to hold you again. I’d give anything in the world for that right now,” he looked down, a tear falling down his cheek. “I can’t live without you in my life, I-”

His sentence was cut off by Andy grabbing the remote, and turning off the TV. You turned your head and frowned deeply at him.

“Why’d you do that?” you asked with a bit of a pout.

“I just couldn’t stand listening to him talk about you like he hasn’t treated you like shit for the past few years. C’mon, let’s get ready for bed.”

Your blood boiled. Andy was once a means to an end, but now he was interfering. He was clearly much too selfish to see that you and Ransom were quite obviously soulmates. A match made in hell. 

You followed him to bed regardless, curling up on what had been your side of the bed for the past few days, and staring at the wall until Andy’s breaths moved from a soft and rhythmic pattern to loud snores. God, those snores were obnoxious. 

You slipped out of bed and to his dresser, grabbing two soft ties from the drawer, and daintily tying his wrists to each side of the bedpost.

“What‘re you doing?” he mumbled, instinctively yanking both of his wrists as he awoke.

“I’m going back home,” you whispered.

“You can’t be serious,” Andy huffed, tugging on the restraint attached to the headboard.

You shook your head, “I am.”

“I should’ve known. Why would you do something like this? Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in with the law?”

“Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in when the world finds out that you kidnapped me?” you retorted.

This threat seemed to wake him up right away, “what about this was kidnapping? I gave you a nice home, fed you, I didn’t even make a pass at you. I didn’t do shit to you,” he hissed. “You think I can’t prove that? I’m a lawyer, for god's sake!”

You nearly laughed, “Okay, Andy,” you paused for a moment, “As a lawyer, who do you think everyone’ll believe? Someone who the world was on a wild goose chase for in the last two weeks? Or the man with a family history of violence? Must I remind you that your father and your son have killed people?”

Andy shook his head, face pinched in sorrow at the mention of his deceased son, clearly a low blow. “You’re insane,” he muttered.

“Swear to god that you won’t tell a soul what happened here,” you leaned over him, getting right in his face. “Or I promise, Andrew Barber, I will ruin you. You’ll spend the rest of your life behind bars, or disbarred, or whatever the hell I decide to do with you. So keep your goddamn lips shut.” 

You pulled away and he solemnly nodded, not bothering to put up a fight. You loosened the fabric around his left wrist and walked out of the room. You picked up the keys to Andy’s Audi on your way out, checking the time as you adjusted the driver's seat. 

9:45 PM. Fatherhood really changed the man.

You pushed that thought aside and began your drive home, which turned out to be a surprisingly short trip. When you pulled up in front of your home, you were met with a slew of reporters outside of the house, along with a police car that seemed to be permanently camped there.

As you slowly got out of the car, a gasp, followed by a loud silence fell across the crowd. You limped for dramatic effect up the driveway as cameras followed you, and glanced back at them pathetically. From your peripheral view, you noticed the officers get out of their vehicle.

You finally got to your door, ringing the doorbell and waiting. You blinked harshly a few times, conjuring up the tears you needed to really make a spectacle of the event. After a few minutes, Ransom opened the door, eyes widening as he looked at you. He stepped out, and you wrapped him in as big of a hug as you could manage, genuinely missing his embrace. It was possible that you even let out a few real tears in the moment.

Your emotional embrace was interrupted by the man you recognized as Lieutenant Elliott, the same officer who’d been assigned to Harlan’s case. 

“Ma’am,” he began, only to be shut down by you. 

“Please, just let me be with my boyfriend,” you pleaded, crocodile tears streaming down your face as you spoke with the officer. You still needed time to get your story straight.

“Just give us the night, Lieutenant. We’ll come in first thing tomorrow morning,” Ransom added, furrowing his brows at the officer that he’d come into contact with far too many times. 

He looked to his partner, who shrugged, then to you, “enjoy your night.”

Cameras flashed around you as civilians, journalists, and newscasters alike attempted to catch your attention. You grabbed Ransom’s hand and dramatically pulled him inside, insincerely attempting to hide your face by ducking and covering half of your face with your arm. 

As soon as you were in the privacy of your own home, Ransom threw you against a wall. 

“Why. The fuck. Would you pull a stunt like that,” he hissed through gritted teeth, eyes wild, and a hand around your throat. 

You whimpered as he tightened his grip, rage clearly flowing through his system uncontrollably.

“Do you know what you did to me? You almost had me thrown in fucking jail. Do you understand that?”

You nodded weakly, “Ran,” you whispered, “the baby,” you glanced down at your stomach.

He paused, dropping his grip on your neck and staring at you in awe, “no…” 

You nodded again. 

“How…? You told me you were on the pill… You- you made me use protection…”

“Surprise?” you said weakly. 

“You’re a psychotic bitch.”

“I’m your psychotic bitch. And no child of mine will be born out of wedlock,” you taunted. 

“That’s what this is about?” Ransom laughed manically. “You did this all because I won’t fucking marry you?”

You didn’t even have to respond.

“I should send you to the loony bin right fucking now.”

“What happened to all those things you said to me on TV?”

“You’re fucking delusional. I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. And you will. I’ve had to put up with you and your stupid little antics for way too long. How do you think I felt when you killed your own grandfather?”

Ransom scoffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation, “you are so fucked up.”

“I’m the fucked up one? You killed your own blood in cold blood! You’re unhinged!” 

“You faked your own death for attention, and got pregnant while doing it! Is that baby even mine?”

“The fuck are you trying to say, Hugh?”

“I asked if it’s even mine.”

“Really. You’re accusing me of cheating on you. That’s rich considering Mia, Layla, and whoever the fuck else. You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculous? You couldn’t have a normal adult conversation with me!”

“Are you kidding me? I asked you time after time to marry me and it was always some bullshit excuse!” you wagged a finger in his face as you spoke. “Oh, commitment scares me, oh, marriage is just a piece of paper, oh-“ you mocked his voice in a deeper tone before you were cut off by the sting of his hand against your cheek.

“Can you shut the hell up?” he growled at you as you held your own cheek, before you reached out and slapped him back, “I can’t believe that I’m stuck with such a deranged bitch for the rest of my life.”

“Maybe work on your vows a little, dear. I don’t think that those words are as charming to me as they’d be to the rest of our family and friends.”

“You can’t be serious,” he groaned.

“But I am,” you hummed, rubbing your cheek softly once again. “Look at how fast your life fell apart without me here. How quickly the public turned on you. Imagine how upset they’d be if you left me. I love you, Ran. I really do. You and I are perfect for each other, can’t you see that now?”

Ransom took a step away from you, pacing slowly in front of you. He ran a stressed hand through his hair, and took a long and drawn out breath, clearly at a loss for words.

“So when should we have the wedding? I’ve always wanted a Spring wedding, and I know it’s a little short notice, but I don’t want to be showing too much in my wedding dress,” you grabbed Ransom’s bicep gently, as if you were just having a regular old day with him, as if you hadn’t been choked and slapped moments ago. “But we can make it work. We always make it work, right?”

Your now fiancé stared vacantly at the wall ahead of him, giving you a slow, empty nod of agreement. 

“It’s settled then,” you smirked. “I’ll start looking at venues. You find me a nice ring, okay Honey? One that puts all those other bitches’ rings to shame,” you sighed pleasantly to yourself, “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before hurrying up the stairs and into your bedroom. You heard a distant shriek of  “fuck,” from Ransom, but you truly could not care less. 

You hopped into bed, grabbing your laptop from its charger and promptly opening it. You couldn’t help but to smile at your own reflection on the empty black screen. This wasn’t how you imagined your engagement, but you did the impossible. You tied yourself down to Hugh Ransom Drysdale, he went down kicking in screaming, and you were likely in for a lifetime of cheating and resentment, but you did it nonetheless. 

You finally won.  

Run (part 5)

wordcount: 3.5k

warnings: teasing, slight smut

Kai’s side of the bed had long since gone cold when you awoke the next morning. Hurrying from the room, you cursed yourself for having gone to him, the restful sleep that his presence had provided you allowing your thoughts to become sharper and you scolded yourself for giving in to your want so easily.  But as you dressed and readied yourself in the guest room across from Kai’s, your craving for him was undeniable, his face stark behind your eyelids whenever you closed your eyes, whenever you blinked. Your heart had seemingly already made the choice for you: It would take awhile for you to fully forgive Kai for what he had done to you, and you knew that when that happened, your want for him would simply burn even stronger. There was no point in forbidding something that both you and him so desperately wanted. A slow grin spread across your face as you mentally agreed with yourself that you were more than willing to give him a chance to love you. But where would the fun be in giving yourself over to him so easily?  You turned back to your closet, pulling off the simple shirt you had just donned and replacing it with a tiny, low-cut crop top. Smiling evilly, you turned for the door, making your was down the stairs to the kitchen, silently hoping that Kai would already be in there.

The kitchen was empty when you arrived, causing you to sigh. Pushing away the dim glow of disappointment unravelling within your gut, you stalked for the fridge, grabbing some milk and setting about making yourself a bowl of cereal.  You ate your breakfast leant against the counter facing the open kitchen doors, your eyes constantly flicking from your food to the door.  Kai had probably gone out, you had woken up fairly late and he usually had errands to run that he preferred to do in the morning. The acknowledgement that you knew Kai’s routine so well made you smile softly. You stopped yourself, hurriedly shoving more cereal into your mouth, wiping at the milk that dribbled down your chin as you cursed yourself for already being so smitten with this man. Finishing up your breakfast, you chucked the empty bowl and spoon into the sink, filling a glass of water and draining it before bracing your arms on the counter. “You’re hopeless.” You whispered to yourself, pushing yourself off the worktop and slowly meandering to the kitchen doors, not sure what to do with yourself.  The familiar sound of a car turning into the house’s driveway made you pause in your tracks, your head snapping to the window, watching as Kai’s large white car slowly rolled up the driveway.  You stole that car. Your mind whispered at you. Pushing the thought away you watched as Kai emerged from the car, the door slamming shut behind him.  Jerking into action, you jumped onto one of the barstools arranged around the marble island in the centre of the kitchen but cursed yourself as you realised that now you were sat stupidly at the kitchen table, along and doing absolutely nothing. But You weren’t given time to dwell on the thought as the front door swung open, Kai’s audible footsteps allowing you to track his short journey down the small stretch of hallway between the front porch and the kitchen door. He was whistling quietly as he came into view in the open doorway, his movements halting as he beheld you sat at the table. He wore a neatly ironed black shirt, the top buttons undone to reveal a portion of his chest, the top half of his faded blue hair pulled into a tight bun at the crown of his head. His car keys hung from his finger as his whistling stopped, Kai turning towards you and diverting his journey to step into the kitchen. You smiled at him, your elbows coming to rest on the cool surface before you, ensuring that he noticed when you squeezed your arms slightly tighter to your body in such a way that pushed your tits further together, your cleavage more than noticeable from the low-cut material of the shirt you wore. “Hey.” He greeted simply, wandering further into the room. “Hi.” You responded, leaning forwards in your seat to greet him. “Where have you been?” “Just running some errands.” You nodded at his vague explanation. “When did you wake up?” He asked. “Not too long ago, I slept in.”  He hummed, before responding. “My bed is very comfy, isn’t it?” You tried in vain to keep your cheeks from heating, dropping your gaze to the table in order to avoid his dark eyes as they bored into yours, trying to gauge your reaction. “You should visit me in bed more often, y’know. I enjoy your company.” Whether he knew it or not, his implicit offer was clear: he didn’t mean just to sleep. You cleared your throat, adjusting your arms in order to enhance your cleavage even more. “Do you need any help with anything today? I need someone to give me something to do, I’m already bored.”  Kai smiled slowly, his eyes roving over your body, dipping dangerously low before rising to meet your gaze once more.  “Nah, I’ve got it covered. Thanks though.” He shrugged as he turned to leave the room. “Although, you could do me the favour of putting those pretty tits of yours away. I don’t want anyone else seeing them.” Your mouth went utterly dry at his boldness, your eyes trained on his broad back as he left the room without another word, resuming his whistling.  You stared at the empty kitchen doorway for several moments, trying to ignore the effect that his words had on you as your pussy wetted slightly.  Fine, if he wanted to play that game, you could play it just as hard. 

Your teasing only got more and more bold over the next few days, and Kai’s reactions only became more and more noticeable.  At cult meetings, you sat so close to Kai on the couch behind where he stood to address his group that your knees would brush the backs of his legs, his shoulders stiffening almost imperceptibly with each press of your clothed skin against him.  Whenever you cooked dinner together, you would purposely brush past him again and again, leaning over the work surfaces slightly and pushing your ass out. Kai would return the carefully planned ‘careless’ treatment, leaning over you to reach for things from the cupboards, his hands falling to your hips with a ghost’s touch whenever he needed to get past you. Your outfits got skimpier and more revealing each day, the slices of skin that you kept on show for Kai begging him to make more comments on your body like the one he had made about your tits in the kitchen. But of course, Kai knew exactly what you were trying to do and refused to give you what you wanted, instead returning the treatment by ensuring that you walked in on him shirtless several times. This experience had left you flustered and unable to think coherent thoughts afterwards each time it happened, Kai indulging in the redness of your cheeks and the slackness of your jaw each time he allowed you to see the strong plains of his chest and back.  And there was that time when you gone into Kai’s room whilst he worked downstairs, wearing nothing but a large t-shirt and your favourite panties. You had arranged yourself on his bed above the covers on your side with your legs tucked upwards to your chest, your arms gathering the pillow to your face. Kai had eventually entered the room after you had drifted off to sleep, his mouth falling open as he beheld you and the generous view of your bare ass that your position presented him. You had stirred five minutes later, disturbed by the sound of the shower running, Kai shivering beneath the frozen torrents of water as he forced himself to empty his mind of the truly filthy thoughts that had flooded his brain at the sight of your ass, your panties hugging your body so tightly that they were almost entirely hidden by the glorious curves of your ass. When he emerged from the shower several minutes later, he had composed himself enough to carefully move your body so that he was able to tuck you beneath the covers before stripping off his clothes and sliding into the bed beside you, his skin cold from the shower.

After some time of playing with and taunting one another, you had begun to lose hope that Kai would make a move on you, but your desperate prayers were answered when, after about a week of Kai enduring your teasing, he finally gave in, stiffly knocking on the door of the guest room late one night. “Yeah?” You called out, pausing the show you had playing on your laptop and looking towards the doorway. Kai appeared as the door was pushed open and he wasted no time in stepping into the room; closing your laptop, you pushed it to the bottom of the bed, greeting Kai with a questioning look. With his sudden presence, the room seemed to get smaller, filling with an agitated energy as you beheld his stiffly set shoulders.   “Stand up.” He ordered, meeting you halfway across the room as you stood instantly as his command, the hard set of his face making your stomach flutter. He stepped up to you, his face an inch from yours. “You’ve been driving me fucking insane.” A slow smile spread across your face at his words. His gaze dropped to your grin, his jaw clenching, the muscles within feathering at your satisfaction. “Wicked thing,” he spoke through gritted teeth, taking another step forwards so that you were chest-to-chest. “I didn’t think you were enjoying it that much.” “Oh, of course I was.” You exclaimed coolly, your hands raising to settle on his chest, your fingertips tracing swirling patterns onto the soft fabric of his shirt.  Kai’s eyes were dark as they bore into yours. “Are you finally going to let me do something or what? I don’t know how to make my apology even more clear to you.” You pushed his lowly spoken words aside, just wanting to forget about everything but the glorious man before you. “I don’t want anymore apologies, Kai. I want you to show me how sorry you are.” Your tone was light as your fingers roamed over his shirt, wishing that it was his warm skin you were touching as you raised your eyes to his. He hummed, his hands shooting out to latch onto your wrists and removing them from his chest. “Oh, I will.” Kai promised, stepping forwards slowly whist using his hold on your wrists to back you towards the bed. The tight hold of his slender fingers on your skin was intoxicating and you ached with both want and excited trepidation about what would come next. “Is that a threat or a promise?” You ventured, the knot of excited nerves gathered in your gut growing.  “You won’t have to worry about that yet. Now stop talking.” His hands released your wrists, trailing slowly down your chest to the front of the vest you wore. The sound of the fabric tearing filled the room as his fingers hooked into the neck line, pulling the material apart in one clean rip. It fell to the floor around your feet, Kai not giving you so much as a second to track his movements as his fingers moved to hook roughly into the waistline of your pajama shorts. He quickly slid the garment down your bare legs, following the movement with his body until he was kneeling on the floor before you. You could barely breathe as he looked up at you, his hand trailing lightly up the back of your leg to your upper thigh. Your panties were the next thing to be discarded on the floor, Kai smirking as he gripped the back of your knee with his hand and pulled your leg up onto his shoulder. Your head tipped back of its own accord, the proximity of his face to your already drenched cunt overwhelming. Kai’s hand gripped onto the thigh you had hooked over his shoulder as he leaned in to press a single lingering kiss to your mons. The simple action could’ve had you cumming right there but Kai pulled back, his hand once again finding the back of your knee as he rose, pulling your leg off his shoulder and hooking it around his waist once he had risen to his full height. You could do nothing but stare at his face as his fingers deftly reached around you to undo your bra, it’s rough straps scraping against your too sensitive skin as he eased the garment from your shoulders and arms. As soon as it had hit the floor, Kai pushed your back, practically drooling as you fell onto your back in an exposed sprawl. His eyes dipped to the apex of your thighs, his heart thundering with need at the sight of the glistening sheen of wetness coating your pussy; he pushed his overwhelming want for you aside, needing to extract his revenge for your teasing before allowing himself to have his way with you. You couldn’t suppress the shudder that racked your body under the intense scrutiny of his dark eyes.  “I want your head on the pillows.” He ordered, watching as you scrambled to obey his command, your pert ass exposed to Kai as you quickly crawled up the bed, flipping yourself over and settling into the soft pillows. He was on you immediately, his knees settling on each side of your legs. “You want me?” He breathed down to you, his hands itching to touch every inch of you. “Yes.” You whispered without hesitation, your hands coming to settle on his shoulders.  “I can see that you’re already wet for me.” He crooned, bringing his face slightly closer to yours. “Yes. I’ve been wet all week.” You admitted shamelessly. His face crumpled in mock sympathy. You writhed your hips beneath him, restraining yourself from whining at his sudden lack of action. “You’re sinful.” He whispered roughly and you nodded, agreeing with his comment with renewed desperation. “Keep your arms above your head.” You blinked at him, but did as he asked, your hands hitting the headboard as you silently complied. Satisfied with your obedience, Kai lowered his head to the base of your throat, his hair brushing pleasantly against your collarbones. His lips were soft and warm as he pressed several kisses to your skin, drawing a trail up the column of your throat to your chin. You followed his movements by tipping your head back slightly further with each kiss as he progressed up your neck, allowing him better access and silently inviting him to use his teeth to mark you. As soon as his lips had completed their journey to your jaw, skimming against the bottom of your chin, he pulled away, denying you the full kiss to your lips that you craved. He kept eye contact with you as he moved down your body slightly, his lips latching onto your ribs and proceeding to give them the same treatment that he had just forced your neck to endure.  This time, he allowed his teeth to graze against your skin as he travelled from one side of your torso to the other, goosebumps forming in his wake, chasing after his touch. You couldn’t help but groan when he pressed his nose to the space just beneath your breasts, his hot tongue finally coming contact with your skin as he kitten licked his way up to your tits. Pausing at the bottom of their sloping form, he closed his eyes, listening to your laboured, shuddering breaths. From above him, your own eyes were clenched shut, your mouth slightly parted as you forced yourself to keep your hands above your head. All you wanted to do was to weave your fingertips into the blue strands of his hair but you knew that in doing so, you risked upsetting Kai and cutting this intimate exchange short.  Using his tongue, Kai softly traced the area of skin where your pert tits met your torso, tracing and licking back and forth.  “If you’re not going to touch me properly, then at least let me touch you.” Kai’s teeth latched onto your skin at your words, breathless and accented with whiny need, tugging painfully at your flesh as he raised his head slightly before releasing his hold on your skin. “No. Move your hands and I’ll leave.” He responded firmly. You groaned, your head sinking further into the pillows beneath you at his blunt denial. He dipped his head once more, this time skimming his warm lips along your abdomen, past your bellybutton and to one of your hips. You hissed softly when he bit down on your skin, simultaneously latching his lips onto you and sucking harshly. Kai moved back and forth between your hips, painting them in turn with blotchy, deep red marks, the sensation becoming slightly more painful as his brutal onslaught on your skin continued.  In the midst of the intense attention that Kai was subjecting your hips to, you didn’t even notice when his hand trailed down the small stretch of skin between your hips, his touch light as he ventured over your pubic bone to the heat between your thighs. Using his fingers, he pinched the skin either side of your labia together, forcing your cunt to close in such a way that made your clit throb from within the confines of his hold. You gasped when he pinched harder, moving his fingers slightly and rubbing the outer part of your pussy together. Your clit jumped and pulsed in an attempt to gain any sort of traction, Kai’s fingers going still and effectively leaving you to jerk yourself off in his hold. You moaned softly as Kai moved his face away from your skin, dropping his gaze to watch as your pussy pulsated of its own accord in it’s desperation to gain some pleasure from his manipulative touch.  He smiled up at you as your hips undulated in weak desperation, his hand not leaving your snatch as he moved back up your body, his face appearing before yours. Leaning down to your pleasure-contorted face, his mouth finally found yours. The kiss was a mere brush of lips before Kai’s teeth latched onto your lower lip, pulling back slightly with your lip still in his firm hold. You groaned when, all at once, his teeth released your lip, his hand leaving your pussy. “Be ready to stay wet for another week.” He said in faux blithe, his face disappearing from view.  You couldn’t bring yourself to move as he left, the door closing softly behind him, bathing in such deep frustration that tears pricked your eyes as you listened to his light footsteps as he crossed the hall, the sound of his own door opening and closing like a physical blow as he left you feeling utterly empty and unsatisfied without his warm touch.

Even the freezing water of the shower wasn’t enough to dull the burning need searing through Kai, smoldering a little hotter each time your face infiltrated his thoughts, the sounds of your breathy moans under his close ministrations replaying over and over in his mind. After his shower, his lay naked on his bed, unable to take his thoughts off of you and what you were doing. Relieving yourself from your own frustration probably. The memory of the pleasant smell of your cunt and the hot wetness that had gathered there for him had his hand wrapping harshly around his cock. He had to bite onto the corner of his pillow to remain silent as he brought himself to orgasm not once, but three times, imagining that it was your smaller hand in place of his. He tossed and turned in bed for hours, your scent seeming to hang around him, taunting him and preventing him from the blessed closure of sleep.  The fourth time he made himself cum left him still feeling painfully unsatisfied, but it was enough to douse the burning desire coursing through every part of him, sleep coming to offer him a brief reprieve from the strong memories of the sound of your laboured breathing and the feel of your hot skin under his lips.

taglist: @kitwalker02 @three-eyed-snail @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove (if you want to be added or removed, just send me a message <3)

02 liner aussie girl joining the group

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° Sees you as a little sister, and will baby you nonstop for that reason alone. Expect very long hugs and him trying to beg you for some affection.

° Let Felix take charge in helping you around JYP, watching from afar like a proud father. Even if you aren't much younger than the members, he can't help but become a giddy mess when you literally do anything.

° Since he sees you as a little sister, that also means he is very protective over you. Not even Minho can tease you for too long without Chan becoming a bit tense. He just doesn't want you to ever feel uncomfortable.

° Does many vlives with you, chatting about your life and what parts of Australia you grew up in. Whenever he is introducing you or if you call him during a vlive, he'll call you little sissy.

° Many stays have made edits of Chan babying you or treating you like a literal angel, you both have watched edits like these and neither of you can deny that he doesn't do either of those things.

"My little sissy y/n did great today in our dance practice, isn't that right sissy?" he asked, sitting you on his lap.

"Yeah, Minho Oppa helped me learn quite a bit. But I couldn't have succeeded it without my personal cheerleader Chris." You replied.

Lee Know

° Doesn't make a huge deal out of it, is honestly just really happy to have a new member. He doesn't care that your a girl or a fellow aussie, just sees you as a member.

° If you are ever struggling with Korean he'll do his best to try and help you, even if it is only on small thing such as the way you pronounce words. He admits to finding your struggles pretty adorable.

° Even though he is a huge tease, he'll go easy on you for the first two months. Letting you get settled in and get use to the chaotic behavior of all of them. But after those months pass, he'll start to tease.

° Minho likes to challenge you to dance battles during practice, seeing if you will ever beat him on one. But luckily whenever Snsd comes on you are in your element, showing him the true Gee master.

° Minho has a soft spot fro you due toy your age, he won't tease you too harshly and won't get mad if you don't remember one of his cat's names. All of the members notice his new soft spot for you.

"So I know Soonie, Doongie... And?" you sighed, trying to remember the third cat of Minho's.

"Dori, it's okay. At least you remembered two of them." He reassured, Felix looking at him with shock from across the room.

Changbin

°When he heard that you would be joining the group, he hoped that you wouldn't make fun of him as much as the other members. And if you did, it wouldn't be too harsh.

° Appreciated that you weren't teasing him 24/7, and if you are shorter than him then he would be very smiley and giddy for days. Changbin likes your company and would often want to hang around you.

° Buys you coffee/tea every morning, and only you (occasionally Felix). And when the members ask, he explains that you earned your coffee/tea by not teasing him. Even if they haven't teased him for days.

° You are his favorite member, even if he won't admit it... Everyone knows it. You are his best friend and he doesn't want that relationship to change. Unlike the fan's pov, he sees you only as a best friend.

° Whenever he does a vlive with you, your ship name is all over the chat. Neither of you speak out about it, but both of you don't like each other in that way. And it makes situations awkward when they ship you two.

"I can't believe we're a ship, that is so weird to me." You chuckled, scrolling through Instagram on your phone.

"I know right! I don't get why a girl and a guy can't be friends without people shipping them." He sighed, clearly frustrated.

Hyunjin

° Becomes putty in your hands, he just finds everything about you adorable. It also doesn't help that you are Australian, which he happens to have an interest in.

° He wouldn't describe his feelings towards you as a crush, more as a little sister and der brother relationship. He would feel weird if you ever developed something for him, since he is too close to you to be a couple.

° Very clingy towards you, constantly draping himself across you. Or sitting you on his lap when you are worn out from practice, he often let's you take naps on him. He also treats you to sweets, even when on diets.

° Hyunjin once got frustrated over how JYP was treating you, giving you an extreme diet even though you were already working hard enough. So he'd reassure you that him and Chan would talk with JYP about it.

° Hyunjin can be seen copying your accent, whether it be for fun or just to tease you. He'll copy or pick up on your accent, many fan's hearts melting at his determination to be part of the aussie line.

"I shouldn't be having this cupcake." You sighed, placing the cupcake you've been eyeing for the past few minutes.

"Screw JYP, eat what you want. You are your own person and shouldn't listen to some old man." He defended, passing the cupcake.

Han

° Was the first member you met, even though it was by total accident. You both ran into each other when he was leaving the building and you were entering.

° You dropped the coffee all onto yourself in shock, making him chuckle as he tried to help you clean yourself up. He helped you into JYP, having no clue that you are going to be the new member joining.

° When Chan introduced you to the members the next day, Han was shocked. He was surprised to see a familiar face, but was also pleased knowing you seemed to be quite a sweet and charming person.

° You both are the stars whenever on reality shows together, many seeing you both as a chaotic duo. Doni and Coni once tried to correct you, telling you that women shouldn't be so hyper. Han got pissed.

° Not only did Han correct them on their manners, but also told them that a man shouldn't tell a woman what to do. Many fans and netizens applauded him for protecting his new and sweet Maknae.

"I swear those guys get on my nerves sometimes, don't listen to them." He sighed, patting your head softly.

"It's okay Hannie, I'm glad that I have some older brothers to stand up for me." You reassured, melting his heart.

Felix

° You are nervous to be around Felix, not because he's intimidating or harsh. But because he is so nice and angelic, and you don't want to develop a crush on a member.

° Even if you don't see him in that light at first, it will happen eventually because he has such an addicting energy that surround him. Felix is a sunshine, and it isn't hard to see why everyone loves him.

° Felix wants to make you feel as comfortable as possible, usually being the member picking up pads/tampons for you. He secretly develops a small crush on you, but he knows it would end up bad.

° You both would be worried about it ending bad due to the popularity of the band, Felix's popularity, your new career, and JYP's strict rules. So both of you don't truly progress that side of your relationship.

° It could blossom into something more serious in the future, but for right now it is just a mutual crush that both of you must hide. Your friendship is still very strong nonetheless, and you appreciate that.

"Okay here's a hard question, Back Door or All In?" you asked, as the managers watched you both from behind the camera.

"Neither because you aren't in them." He answered, trying to play it off as playful more so than flirtatious.

Seungmin

° Seungmin is your dorm mate, who always manages to make your nights more calm. He reassures you every night that you are doing great, even if you don't believe him.

° You both wrote down a schedule for dishes, laundry, cooking ect. The only exceptions to it is having a terrible day, birthday, or being sick. Either than that then you must follow the schedule stuck into the fridge.

° You both have derpy photos of each other as your wallpapers, both being taken when both of you just woke up. Seungmin can't help but giggle silently whenever he opens up his phone, looking at your bed head.

° Seungmin helps you out with waking up, letting you get use to the schedule of being an idol. Taking as many pillows to the face as he needs to for you to finally wake up, Once getting feathers in his hair due to it.

° Many think you both knew each other before you became a member, but you both explained that you just understand each other well and clicked when you met. Neither of you grew up together.

"Is today you dish day or mine?" he asked, bottle of soap already in his hand ready to begin cleaning.

"Mine, but I had a terrible day today. JYP critiqued everything about me." You huffed, getting a soft hug from Seungmin.

Jeongin

° Is glad he won't be babied as much since he isn't the maknae anymore, but will miss the benefits of being able to aegyo your way out of responsibilities.

° All of the members call you the babies or the baby line, even if either of you ar taller than some of them. Jeongin is also appreciative that he now has someone to relate to with being a babied quite often.

° He'll still call you noona just to get under your skin, but you honestly don't mind being called noona or unnie. Especially since some stays are younger than you, but you can become playfully annoyed at times.

° Jeongin will warm up to you very fast and treat you like a sister, he'll spoil you with stuffies and share his food with you every meal. Even though mama gets scold him for it, he doesn't care and continues to do it.

° Chan will cover both of your eyes when the members do something sexy, even if you kind of want to see it (mostly to tease them). But you understand why, since both fo you will get flustered by it easily.

"Y/n noona likes to steal my food sometimes." Jeongin admitted to fans, smiling at your playful glare.

"You share your food and insist I eat it Jeongin Oppa." You defend, watching the fans respond to the situation.

hi :) i see that ur requests are open, if it isnt too much trouble.. could u write something w/ itadori please? like, something i always imagine with him is sort of sprawling out on my bed and he’s next to me, and we’re looking at our phones. just enjoying the company without needing to talk or fill out the quiet that has been made. and like.. just subconsciously u both come closer to each other, ending up lowkey cuddling and u both kinda shut off ur phones n like. just look at each other yknow. small smiles. soft kisses. and u take a nap. of course itadori is a wacko but i feel like hed enjoy the quiet moments too. thank you, love ur work!<3

if this is boring u dont have to do it im just very simple and personally i love my quiet time n feel like itd be extra cosy with itadori

hi hi hi i founddd it <333 i adore this concept and i agree that yuuji would just be really appreciative to simply be around you and in your company like he wouldn’t need to be constantly active; he’d love to just,,, exist with you. anyways, i hope you like this <3

━━  surrounded in the warm, dim lamplight, your sigh dissolves into a quiet yawn, and you shift, nuzzling deeper into the hoodie that rests on your body. it smells like him, you realize, and it does distinctly so, but it might be for the fact that he’d just stripped himself of it minutes — a single glance at the time on the top left of your screen corrects you: an hour and a half — ago. 

your unoccupied hand rests aimlessly on the bed between you and yuuji, his own lingering inches by yours. his body is in the same position as yours, only on his opposite side to allow him to face you, and he wears a simple black shirt as opposed to the warm hoodie you wear, but you have no room for complaints, not when his biceps bulge unprovoked with how he lays, not with how the hem of the shirt rides up ever the slightest to reveal his skin. although majority of your attention is on the endless social media feed on your phone screen, you are only human after all, and you spare a glance or two every once in a while, and remind yourself that really, he is all yours. 

you shift again, getting more comfortable, scrolling through your phone, an occasional giggle or laugh let out at a ridiculous video. mindlessly, your other hand twitches, brushing against yuuji’s. 

just like you, majorly, he remains occupied with the device in his hands, but otherwise, he can’t help but trail his gaze to you every so often. he likes being like this with you, doing this with you. the way you’re as comfortable as you are, laying by his side, able to do the least, even absolutely nothing, and still enjoy it. the way there’s no constant need to be brimming with excitement and adrenaline and to be always doing and on the go. he revels in the small smiles that he sees when you spot a post that’s somewhat funny, or when you come across one that makes you laugh out loud, loud enough that you move your phone and face it towards him, wanting to share your laughter with him. it’s so simple, and there’s nothing to it. you could do this with friends, or with family, or you could even sit alone, but you still invited him to be with you. nothing more, nothing less; just to be. and yuuji adores it, drinks it up, appreciates every little part of it. he can never get enough of you, can never get enough of everything with you. 

when he feels your fingers brush against his, even if accidentally, he moves his pinky finger, interlocking it with yours. without sparing him a glance, you lock your pinky back with his, strongly, and he sighs, relaxes, smiles. it’s such a small touch — your pinkies are interlocked; this has to be the most childish thing he’s ever gotten excited over — but he nonetheless appreciates it. he hears you shift again, and you move closer to him, subtly. his phone’s still in his hand, but at this point, you’ve gained his full attention. you’re still fully entranced with your own device, so he opts to watch you, watch the way your eyes scan the screen, the way you bite at your lips, the way you sigh deeply for no reason, the way you smile and the way that it gets cut off with the way the pillow is pressed into your cheek, the way you’re nuzzled so deep against it. 

you move again, bringing your legs closer to his, and he shifts laying more on his back, unlocking your fingers, but allowing you to comfortably toss your leg above his lap, between his thighs. the hand that had been locking pinkies with you finds its way to your thigh, to your knee, to your calf, soothingly rubbing. his phone’s screen has long since turned off due to lack of inactivity, and he lets it, tossing it behind you onto the bed. at the sound of his phone falling against the mattress, you look up, throwing a look over your shoulder to signify you heard the noise. 

“what was that?” you question, but he doesn’t reply. 

instead, his hands come up to cup your cheeks, and he leans forward, pressing a deep, gentle kiss on your lips. the hand clutching the phone is lowered instinctively, until it drops from your grasp, allowing you to rest your hands above his. the deeper he kisses you, the closer he pulls you towards him, till you’re, against all odds, pulling back, breathless, but with a dazzled smile on your lips. 

“what was that for?” you wonder.

yuuji shrugs, smiling softly, his thumb stroking your cheek, lowering to poke lightly at your lips. “just wanted to,” he admits. “’cause i can.” 

you laugh lightly at his words, and at the cheeky smile that follows. your hands, now free and empty to roam his body, travel up his chest, the ridges of muscle evident through the thin shirt beneath your palms, until you wrap your arms around him, right underneath his arms. you’re so close to him now, one leg between his, arms around him, his hands cupping your cheek, body completely and absolutely entangled with him. but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“well then do it again,” you encourage, and he hums, leaning slightly forward, brushing his lips against yours, chuckling to himself as your lips part expectantly, but really, who is he to deny you? he captures your lips in his finally, hands cupping your jaw, traveling to the nape of your neck, tangling in your hair, kissing you as deeply as he can, as passionately as he can, bordering on harsh. it’s always been as it is with yuuji — the way he kisses you, that is. like he’s never been capable of truly understanding that you’re his, and that you chose him, and that you’ll choose him a hundred times over, and that you’re the one he wants to kiss for the rest of his life and that you feel the same. so he kisses you, pressing his lips as softly as he can against yours, but open mouthed, and he promises to do so for every night of the rest of his life, so long as you shall have him. 

end note; hi my loves! i really hope this was what the requester wanted, and that everyone including them enjoyed <3333

Hello, fic request coming through if you are still doing them! Okay, Carlos has not been feeling well so he stays in and doesn't go to his shift. TK still has his shift, so he wants to stay with Carlos to keep an eye on him but Carlos says he is fine. TK is uneasy at work just wants to go back home, he calls Carlos but he is not answering. Tommy says TK can go check up on Carlos, while he is at home, he finds Carlos in bed and when he goes closer, Carlos is not breathing. Paramedic!TK coming through. Super angst ensues but Carlos makes it in the end after some time in a coma.

holly's august extravaganza day 25: heaving through corrupted lungs

thank you for the prompt!

thanks also to @noxsoulmate for the beta! 💚

ao3 | 2.9k | major character illness, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, brief references to past, canonical character death

“Strand, I know we’re not on a call right now, but you could at least pretend to be focused.”

TK flushes as Tommy’s somewhat less-than amused voice reaches him from the back of the ambulance. He hurriedly locks his phone and shoves it in the glove compartment, though not before checking every messaging app he has for word from Carlos.

There’s none, of course, just like it’s been all day. Logically, he knows Carlos is probably sleeping—god knows he needs it—but that isn’t going to stop him from worrying, or from sending check-up texts every ten minutes. It does, however, stop Carlos from answering, which isn’t very conducive to TK’s ability to concentrate on work today.

“Sorry, Cap,” he says. “It’s just—”

“Carlos is sick and you’re being paranoid, as usual,” Nancy chimes in, audibly rolling her eyes from the driver’s seat. “Look, dude, if he said he’s fine, then he’s probably fine.”

“Well, I’m the paramedic in the relationship, and I say he’s not fine.” TK sighs and forces himself to resist the urge to pull out his phone again. “Carlos likes to lecture me about hiding injuries, but he’s exactly the same when he’s ill; he could be on death’s door and still saying he’s okay. But he hasn’t said anything today, so I’m worried.”

“You’re always worried about him.”

“Welcome to relationships,” Tommy comments. “Seriously though, TK, are you going to be okay to finish this shift? There’s still ten hours to go and we cannot afford for you to be distracted out there.”

TK doesn’t answer right away; on one hand, he’s itching to go home and check on Carlos, to make sure he’s still breathing and actually resting like he’s supposed to be. On the other hand, Carlos would probably kill him if he left work, illness be damned. It’s just… Carlos had looked so ill that morning, skin ashen and voice all but gone, and it had taken a lot of convincing for TK to still go to his own shift. He’d insisted on making sure Carlos had all the blankets and water and snacks and anything else he could possibly want, but even so, he’s still uneasy.

His gut is telling him that something’s wrong, and TK doesn’t think he can ignore it for much longer.

He’s staring out the window, considering his options, when he realises that he knows these streets. Like, actually knows them. They’re right around the corner from his and Carlos’s home, and an idea strikes TK like a lightning bolt.

“Hey, Cap?” he asks, twisting around in his seat to look at her. “How about we take a lunch break now instead of driving all the way back to the station? There’s a great place nearby, and it’s less likely that we’ll be interrupted by a call before we get food.”

Tommy eyes him suspiciously, clearly not buying his innocent act. “What are you talking about, TK?”

“Mine and Carlos’s place is literally two streets away; we could drop by and I could check in on him and make sure he’s okay. Plus,” he continues, already spotting the argument on Tommy’s face, “I’m not lying about the food. Carlos cooks in bulk, so we’ve got loads of leftover casserole in the freezer.”

Tommy pauses, indecision clear in her expression. She narrows her eyes at TK, scrutinising him. “Will this mean you’ll stop being so distracted?”

“Absolutely.”

“Alright.” She sighs and nods, and Nancy switches directions to head towards their home. “I’m holding you to that, Strand.”

TK spends the entire drive, short as it is, drumming his fingers on his knees and trying to keep the ever-growing panic at bay. Carlos is going to be fine.

He has to be.

He jumps out the ambulance before Nancy’s even fully stopped it, cursing himself as he fumbles with his keys. Tommy pats his shoulder soothingly; it doesn’t really calm him down, but TK appreciates the effort and her unconditional support. When he gets inside, he simply waves a hand in the general direction of the freezer, hoping Tommy and Nancy get the message, and barrels upstairs, Carlos’s name bursting from his lips.

“Carlos, babe, you here?” It’s a stupid question; TK had seen the Camaro in the driveway and Carlos is far too ill to want to walk anywhere—or so TK hopes—so he has to be home. But the silence draws out, and TK’s heart is pounding a mile a minute by the time he reaches the door to their bedroom.

“Carlos?” He pushes open the door, sighing in relief when he sees his fiancé sprawled across the bed, dead to the world. It’s a little weird that he hasn’t woken up yet given how loud TK was shouting, but it’s probably just because his body needs the rest. TK would bet that the apocalypse could happen outside the window and Carlos wouldn’t so much as stir.

He tip-toes towards the bed, a soft smile spreading across his lips as anxiety gives way to fondness and love. It’s not until he’s within touching distance of Carlos that he registers just how still he is; just how silent the room is.

This morning, Carlos’s breathing was loud and harsh, punctuated with periodic sniffs and coughs.

Now, he’s not making a sound.

And, as TK drops to his knees and bends over his fiancé’s body, he realises that his chest isn’t moving.

Carlos isn’t breathing.

The panic is back in full force as TK frantically presses his fingers to Carlos’s pulse point, praying for something—a flutter, anything—to indicate that Carlos isn’t… That he’s not…

There’s nothing.

Instinct takes over, TK linking his hands on Carlos’s chest and starting compressions even as his vision blurs with tears and he chokes on the sobs building in his throat.

“Cap!” he yells, not taking his eyes off Carlos. “Cap, up here!”

A minute later, Tommy and Nancy burst into the room, both halting in shock for a moment before jumping into action. Nancy moves to the other side of the bed, already pulling out the ambu bag, while Tommy comes to stand by TK.

“What do we have?” she asks, professional as ever, though there’s a clear worried undertone to her voice.

“No pulse, no respiration,” he manages, voice thick. “Skin is warm to the touch. No clear cause, but patient was congested and moderately feverish during the past few days.”

Tommy nods and gently pushes at TK’s shoulder. “Alright, you did good, TK, but you should let us take over now,” she says gently. “Come on, Nancy and I can handle this.”

TK ignores her, continuing compressions with renewed force. “I have to help him, Cap. I have to.”

“And you have, but now—”

“No!” Later, TK will be ashamed of the way he lost control like that, and he’ll have to apologise to Tommy, but the only thing he can really, truly focus on now is Carlos. He keeps pushing, feeling Carlos’s ribs give under his hands, and forces himself to keep going even though his stomach turns at the idea of causing him any pain. “Come on, baby,” he mutters. “Come on, Carlos, please.”

Time is running out; TK can tell by the way the silence is starting to feel heavier and heavier, by the looks he knows Tommy and Nancy must be exchanging over his head. Carlos’s time is running out, and TK is staring down a future he doesn’t know he can survive, and—

“I have a pulse!” Nancy shouts, and the words don’t register in TK’s head until Tommy’s hands are forcibly pulling him back and Carlos’s chest is moving and his eyelids start to flutter.

Tommy slides into the space left by TK, practiced hands checking Carlos’s vitals. “Carlos, can you hear me?”

She gets no response save for a weak groan, then Carlos’s body goes slack again and his head lolls limply on the pillow. TK takes a panicked step forward, but he’s just as quickly pushed back as Tommy secures an oxygen mask over Carlos’s face.

“Nancy, get the backboard and the gurney ready. Heart rate is arrhythmic and respiration is laboured; radio Austin Memorial and get their cardiac unit on standby.”

Nancy dashes out of the bedroom, and Tommy grabs her own radio. “Dispatch, this is RA 126 responding to a cardiac event at 2204 Allred Drive. Patient is unconscious and breathing, however at the time of arrival, he was in cardiac arrest. Duration unknown.”

“Copy that, RA 126.”

Nancy arrives with the backboard, and TK feels like an invisible observer as he watches his two teammates work. He’s stuck, barely breathing, as he watches Carlos struggle and fight for his life; he doesn’t know what he’s going to do if he dies, here and now.

TK moves as if in a nightmare as they get Carlos down the stairs and into the ambulance, eyes constantly locked on his fiancé. He thinks Tommy might say something to him, but he doesn’t hear it and he doesn’t bother to ask—terrible as it is to admit, he doesn’t care right now. He can’t care; there’s no more room inside him for anything else but Carlos.

He wraps a hand around Carlos’s wrist, two fingers resting on his pulse point, and prays that he’ll never have to feel that absence again.

*

Tommy sits beside him in the waiting room, a silent show of support while they wait for news on Carlos. Or until they catch another call; whichever comes first. Nancy is…somewhere. TK thinks she might have gone to grab some coffee or a snack, but he honestly has no idea. He’s kind of lost track of things, the hospital’s plain white walls turning time into water as they wait, and wait, and wait.

“I know how you feel, you know,” Tommy says, unprompted. “The night that Charles died, I… I spent so long blaming myself. I wasn’t there, you know? And I just kept thinking that if I had been there, if I hadn’t stayed out at Grace and Judd’s, then I might have been able to do something to save him.” She levels him with a firm, yet motherly look, and TK drops his gaze to the floor. “I know now that there was nothing. It kills me to admit it, but what happened would have happened either way, and it’s the same here. Carlos is young, healthy—there was no reason to suspect anything might happen. Certainly nothing like this. You did everything that you could, TK, and you have to hold onto that, no matter what the outcome.”

TK squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, giving up on keeping the tears at bay. Tommy reaches out to wrap one arm around him, but he jerks away, curling in on himself. “It’s not the same,” he whispers, voice thick. “It’s not— I knew, Cap. I knew he was ill and I still left him.”

“You said you guys thought it was just a bad cold.”

“No, I knew. I’m a paramedic, how could I have missed this?”

“These things happen, TK,” she says softly. “It’s cruel, and it’s senseless, and, more than anything, it’s unavoidable. We can go in circles blaming ourselves for it—and I know it’s worse for us; we think we should be able to see everything because it’s our job, right?

“The thing is, we’re the most blind when it comes to the people we love. We think we see everything and we always worry over them, but ultimately we just want to believe that everything’s going to be okay. That they’re going to be okay. It’s hard to accept when they’re not.”

“I should have done more.”

“You did all you cou—”

“No, I didn’t.” He lets out a sob, twisting away from Tommy’s touch once more when she tries to comfort him. “I should have insisted on staying home; I should have thought about going to check on him earlier. We have no idea how long he was lying there, dead—he was dead, Tommy—before we arrived, but if I had been there then I could have gotten him help.”

TK takes a shuddering breath and looks up at his captain, meeting her eyes for the first time since they were in the ambulance. “Tommy, if he dies, then I swear I’ll never forgive myself. Never.”

Tommy looks like she wants to say more, but just as she opens her mouth, her radio crackles to life. She sighs regretfully but stands, clasping TK’s shoulder gently.

“He’ll be okay, TK. Believe in that.”

*

Looking at Carlos, TK has never believed in anything less. He’s so still and pale on the bed and TK keeps having to check that his chest is still moving, despite the steady beep of the heart monitor and the constant thrum against his fingertips. He hasn’t let go of Carlos’s wrist since he was allowed into the room, and he doesn’t intend to let go until Carlos is back with him, awake and alive and okay.

He’s trying to believe in that outcome as a certainty, but he knows better than that. Carlos might be young and healthy, but the fact still remains that his heart stopped—coming back from that is far from guaranteed.

It’s been three days since the incident, and Carlos’s parents have been in and out, always bringing TK food and trying to engage him in conversation. He tries, for them, but it’s not easy and the attempts always fizzle out before long; TK just doesn’t have it in him anymore to talk and pretend to be positive. Any hope he ever had has abandoned him, the only thing keeping him afloat his grip around Carlos’s wrist.

A tupperware container drops into his lap, and TK looks up to see Andrea standing over him. She reaches across to caress Carlos’s cheek, then sinks into the chair beside TK, giving him a pointed look.

He sighs, attempting a weak smile for her. “I appreciate it, Andrea, but—”

“No,” she interrupts, shaking her head firmly. “No more buts; I won’t hear them. My son might not be able to make sure you take care of yourself, but I am more than capable of taking over for him. I am very strict about food, ask any of his sisters.” Her stern look softens and she pats his arm gently. “Venga, mijo. You’ll feel better for it.”

TK looks down at the dish in his lap, doing his best to keep a grimace off his face. It looks and smells delicious, like all of Andrea’s cooking, but the sight of it makes his stomach turn, his gag reflex activating at the very thought of putting any in his mouth.

“Andrea, I…” He shakes his head and picks the container up with his free hand, handing it back to her. “I can’t.”

And it’s not just that TK can’t handle any food at the moment, though that certainly plays into it.

But they’re tamales.

The Reyes family recipe tamales, passed down through generations, which Carlos has been slowly attempting to teach TK. Which Carlos always makes on special occasions, and sometimes just for the hell of it.

Which Carlos made the night he proposed.

Andrea looks set to argue, but TK forces an end to the conversation by making her take the container and turning back to Carlos.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, knowing he’s disappointed her. “It’s just hard.”

She sighs and rubs his back. “I know. Just don’t come to me when Carlos wakes up and realises you haven’t been taking care of yourself.”

That almost gets a laugh out of him, and TK looks over to smile at Andrea. It’s a brittle thing, but it’s a smile all the same, which is more than he’s managed in three days. She smiles back at him, and it helps him feel not so alone in all this.

A weak groan is all the warning he gets before, “Are you turning down my mother’s cooking?” reaches his ears, and TK gasps, whipping around to stare at the bed.

Right into Carlos’s eyes.

“Oh my god,” he gasps, tears springing to his eyes. “Oh my god.”

“Hey, baby.” Carlos’s voice is rough and rasping, his eyes fluttering closed again a second later, though TK can tell that he’s still awake. He reaches to the table and pours a cup of water, encouraging Carlos to lift his head and drink through the straw.

“Slow sips, that’s it,” he murmurs, rubbing his thumb gently along Carlos’s wrist, still holding on tightly.

Once Carlos has drunk his fill, he opens his eyes again and looks up at TK, gaze searching his face. “I love you,” he rasps, smiling gently, “but did you really just say no to my mom’s tamales?”

TK splutters, but he can’t keep the smile off his own face, shaking his head fondly at Carlos. “I love you too, idiot,” he says. “And tamales don’t taste the same without you there to eat them with me.”

“Good thing I’m here now, then.”

TK hums. “Guess it is.”

(Later, after the nurses and doctors have come and gone, TK will pick up the tub of tamales, left behind by Andrea when she went to tell everyone the good news.

He and Carlos will split one, pressed close together in the bed to avoid getting crumbs on the sheets. Carlos will be smiling at him the entire time, and TK will kiss him over and over, relishing the sensation of Carlos kissing him back.

And it’ll be the best damn tamale TK has ever eaten.)

Lets Have a Baby

request: yes;

“Heyy i love your writing and if you are taking requests can you do one with charlie similar to the one you did with owen where him and the reader have a pregnancy scare but unlike owens, Charlie is kinda disappointed by not having a kid so he tells her they should actually try. Thank you so much in advance!”

A/N:  I hope you guys enjoy, this was a lot of fun to write!

Warnings: Talk about pregnancy and a few curse words. 

tagged: @mah-gah-lee , her and her fics are the best! check her blog out!

___________________________

You had been feeling really off for a few weeks now. You couldn’t really seem to put your finger on why. They were normal symptoms, nothing unusual, the only unusual thing was the fact that they were constantly persistent.

Over the last few weeks your normal headaches seemed to turn into migraines that would last for days. No medicine could help them, only warm showers and naps helped. In between migraines it seemed like waves of nausea took up that time.

All while dealing with the off and on migraines and nausea, your body was in constant pain and you were exhausted. You couldn’t tell if the exhaustion was just from the constant strain on your body from the aches or from the running back and forth to the bathroom thinking your stomach would empty itself. Or if the exhaustion was just another part of your new normal.

Today was like any other day you’ve been experiencing recently. You were in your bed, a heating pad placed on your lower back, with all the lights off. The strain from your migraine fading as the minutes pass on, giving you some peace.

You can hear the front door of your shared apartment open, assuming that was Charlie coming back from wherever he ventured off to this morning. In your morning haze of nausea and headache you didn’t really catch what he had said.

“Y/N?” You hear Charlie yell as he makes his way into the apartment.

You turn your head to the side so that your voice wouldn’t be muffled by your pillow.

“In here!” You yell out as loud as you can, not wanting to bring back the pounding in your head.

As you get the words out, you see Charlie peek his head into your bedroom. He walks around the room blindly for a few seconds, since you had all the lights off and your black out curtains pulled together, not letting any light in.

He walks over to the window and pulls the curtains back enough just to let a stream of light in. He comes and sits next to your laying body on your bed. He pushes some of your hair out of your face, smiling down at you.

You return that smile back up at him. “Hi.” You whisper up at him, moving to turn over to sit up and face him.

“Hi! How are you feeling?” He asks you, his concern evident on his face. He had been worried about you these last few weeks, neither of you really knowing what was going on with your health.

“Better today, my migraines gone which is nice! My lower back cramps aren’t too bad anymore, seems like the Tylenol may finally be working!” You say answering his question.

“Well that’s good, I’m glad you’re feeling better!” He says. “What do you think has been causing all this?”

“I don’t really know! These are all things I’ve felt before!” You tell him, racking your brain trying to come up with ideas of why this could be happening. “I was thinking it could be my period, but...”

That’s when it hits you. You haven’t gotten your period yet. Being on birth control kept your period extremely regulated. Every month, you could put money down that you would get your period the second week of the month and on Tuesday morning. It happened like that for the last 2 years.

Not this month though. You hadn’t even realized it, you were so caught up in feeling like crap you hadn’t realized your period week came and passed.

“But what?” Charlie asks you, breaking you out of your now spiraling thoughts.

“I didn’t get my period this month.” You tell him plain and dry. You figured cutting to the point was the best option, especially with Charlie.

“Oh shit.” Is all that came out of Charlie’s mouth at your confession. His facial expression screaming shocked.

“Oh shit is right.” You tell him, laughing slightly at his reaction.

You were nervous and afraid, but something about Charlie and his presence kept you calm. You knew whatever happened, he would be by your side.

The big question here was, were you ready to be a mom? A kid can be a lot and you were still young. You wanted kids but did you want them now? Both yours and Charlie’s careers were just starting to take off.

The big questions overwhelming your mind, you can feel the migraine slowly making its way back.

Charlie’s still sitting next to you, watching you silently. Both of your brains filling with those questions, while you panicked, Charlie got excited.

A little human being, 50% you and 50% him, he couldn’t think of anything better. Whether it be a girl or boy, he just knew it would be the cutest baby.

Before the both of you could spiral into your thoughts anymore, you needed an answer. Both you and Charlie knew that.

“So what are we going to do?” He asks you.

“Well I think the first step is to take a test, get a real answer.” You tell him. Your hands coming up to put pressure on your temples, the new pain not subsiding.

“Good point. How about I go get the test? You go take a shower or something, I can tell your headache is coming back.” He says, his hands moving to grab yours from your face.

He moves to press a kiss to your lips, smiling in the process of it.

“Sound good?” He asks. You nod your head yes.

Before he leaves, he helps you get up out of bed and into the bathroom.

“Alright, I’ll get going. You get in there and relax.” He tells you as he moves to turn the water on.

With another quick kiss, Charlie is on his way out and to the store. Secretly hoping that it would come back positive.

The pain in your lower back starts to get worse, the pounding in your head does as well. You quickly strip and hop into the warm water. Every muscle in your body relaxes as it falls over your body.

Hot showers really are a god send in times like this. You enjoy your time in the shower, allowing the relaxation take over you. If you could keep this feeling forever you would.

But like all things, it has to end and it ends too fast in your opinion. A big cramp makes its way through your stomach, and you knew what that meant.

You hop out quick, shutting the water off. You don’t have time to wrap the towel around you before you go sit on the toilet, you make it right on time before your period finally makes its appearance.

The minute your period starts flowing, your cramps and headache ease and start to disappear. It seems that the pent-up hormones were just making you sick.

The timing of it weird and not normal, it usually doesn’t hit like that, but you guess that nothing about this month has been normal. You’re grateful now though, all your pain leaving.

I guess that was the answer we were looking for you think to yourself. You can hear Charlie open and close the front door. You clean yourself up and start to get dressed in some sweats.

“I’ll be right out Char.” You yell out to him as you finish pulling your shirt over your head.

You make your way out of the bathroom and see a smiling Charlie sitting on the edge of your bed with a white bag next to him.

“I didn’t know what test to get so I bought 3.” He says, opening the bag and showing you the three different tests. You giggle at his antics.

You move to stand in between his legs, wrapping your arms around his neck and looking down at him, smiling.

“I just got my period, so we don’t need the test.” You tell him, running your hands through his hair that has gotten longer thanks to the months of not working.

You watch as him smile falters, his eyes dropping from your eye contact, and his hands stop the circular motion they were making on your hips.

“You okay Char?” You ask him, now concerned due to the expression on his face.

“I don’t know, I guess I was just excited about the thought of a baby.” Your shocked at his confession, not thinking that was what he was thinking this whole time.

You figured that he would have been nervous thinking that a baby wouldn’t be the best idea right now. You thought he was just staying calm so you wouldn’t panic, especially because you were feeling so sick.

A smile did make its way onto your face, you couldn’t help but smile at the fact that Charlie was thinking about the two of you having a baby and being excited about it.

“You were?” You ask him, the two of you had talked about kids but not about having them soon. So as happy as you were about his confession, you were still a little shocked.

“Well yeah.” He admits. “I mean think about it, it would be a mini version of us running around.  I don’t know, I just like the sound of that.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad, does it?” You say with a smile on your face. A matching smile makes its way onto Charlie’s face. He nods his head yes in agreement.

“You don’t think we’re too young though?”  You ask, concerned for a few reasons. “Or the fact that both of our careers are just now taking off? You don’t think a baby would get in the way of that or maybe ruin it?”

Charlie can hear the concern in your voice and see the worry in your eyes. He has no doubt in his mind that none of that would be an issue, but he understands where you’re coming from.

“We may be young, but I don’t think we’re too young. I love you with my whole heart Y/N, a little version of us is all I could ask for or want!” He tells you. “Plus, while both of our careers are important, we have enough to support us and a baby. Plus we would not let a baby get in the way of our careers. We wouldn’t let it, we would figure out a way to get it to blend together in a way where it all works!”

He ends his confession on his feet and jumping around in truly Charlie fashion. His excitement contagious and so evident.

A big smile makes its way onto your face. Charlie does have a way with words and his excitement, gets you excited.

Charlie watches you as your smile gets bigger, he knows those wheels in your head are turning. He steps forward to bring you in close and wrap his arms around your waist.

“So do you wanna do this? Wanna have a baby with me?” He asks you, the biggest smile on his face.

You bite your bottom lip trying to contain the big smile on your face, while nodding your head yes.

“No, no, nooooo,” Charlie says, exaggerating the “o” on his last no, “If we’re going to do this, I am going to need a verbal confirmation.” A smirk now replaces the smile on his face.

“Yes Charlie, let’s have a baby.”

The two largest smiles covering both of your faces.

“Well let’s get started then.” He says with a laugh.

Next thing you know your feet are off the ground and your thrown onto your bed. Laughs escaping both you and Charlie.

There’s no one else you would rather be stuck with in this world than Charlie and the thought of raising a family with him felt like the world’s best gift.

The Workhorse

Summary: Once a prized pony, Arthur has found himself single-handedly carrying the entire camps weight, and it's finally worn him down. Disgusted by how the gang treats him, you drag your sweetheart out of camp for a weekend away, spoiling him to many things: a hot bath, dinner, a massage, and a strap-on.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x f!Reader

Word Count: 3507

Rating: NSFW

Tags: Pegging, dom!Reader, sub!Arthur, Established relationship, Praise kink, massage.      

Notes: me?? writing Arthur content?? I know I rarely post about him, but I do love Mister Morgan, enough to peg his ass

Here he comes, your other half, trailing back into camp with heavy bags under his eyes; you may be on the other side of the camp, but you can spot how exhausted he is from a mile off. Arthur's back is hunched over, his mouth slightly parted, and the grunt he makes as he forces himself off the saddle makes your heart shatter. Your poor lover, your sweetheart, your darling Arthur, as you like to call him. You've told certain gang members off before, for making Arthur do all the heavy work whilst other capable members lie back and relax. It's manipulative, conning Arthur into doing all the work simply because he struggles to say no. Well, enough is enough. You're trailing over to him now, ready to take his saddlebags off him and shoo him into your shared tent. As always, he protests the second you reach out for the bag, but you gently swat his hand away, and poor Arthur doesn't have the energy to refuse again. "Thank you," he replies, barely above a whisper, and takes your hand as you trail him over to your shared tent.

"It's so unfair," you begin to grumble on the walk, hoping that the camp members can overhear you. "Making you do all the work, sweetheart, you're so visibly tired," you sigh. "It's alright, darlin', I've just had a rough couple of days," Arthur replies, removing his hat as he enters the enclosed tent. "I'm not having it! not any more!" you grunt, placing Arthurs saddlebags down where they usually go. You turn to Arthur, whose looking down at you with tired eyes. "We're going to get away from here for a few days, somewhere relaxing," you begin telling him as you undress him. Arthur allows you to, knowing he'd happily collapse from exhaustion in his dirty clothes, if you'd let him. "You got anywhere in mind?" Arthur questions, shrugging his shirt off, followed by kicking off his boots and pants. "I've seen a cabin not too far from here. It's secluded, surrounded by a pretty landscape, and seemed deserted when I passed by," you explain. You dip a rag into some water, rinsing it before approaching Arthur. In the few seconds that you've turned to get the wash rag ready, he's sat down on the cot, looking like a sad puppy in just his briefs. "When did you find it? you ain't told me about this place before," Arthur asks, his head lifting as he speaks to you. "Whilst you were away," you explain. "Oh," Arthur sighs, watching you slide the cloth across his arm, attempting to clean him from his many layers of dirt. "Must'a been gone for a while." "Just under two weeks, I was ready to go looking for you," you tell him as you continue to bathe him, trailing the cloth over his other arm. "Did Dutch ask you to do that?" "No, I was going to leave on my own accord." "Was you gonna tell him?" "Of course." Arthur seems happy with your answer, his eyes following you as you rinse the cloth, watching the water turn brown within seconds. He straightens his back as you clean over his chest, trailing down his stomach, and gliding over his thighs. Once you stand back up, Arthur lets out a yawn, and you tell him that you're almost finished. He lets out a sigh of relief when you tell him to lie down on his front, letting out a hum of appreciation as you wipe the dirt off his back. Arthur's clean, or as clean as he can be with a wet rag. You can tell how exhausted he is as he shuffles about in your cot, rolling onto his side to free up your side of the bed. You two don't exchange any words, considering Arthur is already fast asleep as you pull the covers up over both of you, blowing out the lantern and curling up behind Arthur. Your arm wriggles beneath his head, your other arm wrapped around his waist, spooning him tenderly for the first time in days.

  ----

 Dutch received an earful when he tried to protest you taking Arthur away for a relaxing weekend. "But I need him to-" he attempted to say, only for his face to turn white when you snapped, chewing him out, intentionally loud enough for everybody to hear. "Alright, whatever Arthur needs," Dutch eventually agreed, but only because you'd forced him to. It's unbelievable that his boss, his mentor, his somewhat-father-figure is against Arthur having some time off, a well needed break. Dutch makes passive comments here and there about how tired Arthur constantly looks, and you're surprised he's never suggested that Arthur relaxes, even briefly by the campfire. No bother, you've taken him out of camp to a remote cabin, one that you've spent the last week scouting out. The cabin is perfect, picturesque and somehow in decent condition. You spent a few days camping nearby, sitting, watching, waiting for anybody to come by and claim it as their own, but no owner showed up, so you're borrowing it. It overlooks a scenic landscape, a view that Arthur enjoyed as he laid back in his bath; the tub is small, but then again, Arthur is a big boy. He laughed for the first time in weeks as you scrubbed his hair, making playful comments here and there, leaving kisses on his temples after giving him a well needed head massage. Arthur attempted to wash the rest of his body, but you removed the bar of soap from his hand, and told him to enjoy his relaxing weekend. "My weekend? you really are spoilin' me, ain't you?" Arthur asked with a laugh, and didn't bother protesting. It's clear that Arthur feels guilty, not wanting his weight to be on anybody's shoulders, but he knows you well, and he knows that you won't take no for an answer, not when it comes to caring for your sweetheart. The only thing Arthur did protest was you drying him off. At first, he was fine with it, until you started drying his bum playfully, to which he swatted you away and reminded you that "I'm a big boy, I know how to dry my behind." Finally, Arthur is clean, relaxing in the nude on the double bed. He looks like a slob, sprawled out across the covers with a tin of peaches sitting on his chest. Every so often, Arthur picks a peach slice out, and slops it into his mouth, gobbing away and letting out a tired sigh. "What are you sighing for again?" you question, peering your head over your shoulder. You pause your current task, prepping dinner, to speak to him, not wanting to accidentally slice your fingers. "I just ain't used to relaxin', that's all," Arthur replies before eating another peach slice. "Well, you'll have to get used to it, cause I ain't lettin' the camp run you dry any more." "Oh, you gonna put your foot down with them?" he questions, letting out a soft laugh. "I am," you nod, before turning back to your cooking. "It ain't fair on you, Arthur. I don't see anybody liftin' a finger around that-" "-Darlin'," Arthur cuts you off. "It's alright, I know what you're sayin'. And like you said, maybe I should start puttin' my foot down with 'em too. Sayin' 'no' and all that. It just... it ain't like me," he sighs. "I know, Arthur. You've got a heart of gold, even if you won't admit it." Arthur mumbles something under his breath, and you assume it's along the lines of "no, I don't." Typical, of course he's going to reject praise. Arthur's had it drilled into his head from such a young age that he's a bad man, a killer, a thief, and so on, but you see so much more than that, and you're willing to do whatever it takes to help him at least see a peak of the good man that he truly is.

 Dinner is slid into the oven, and you've got at least an hour to kill, possibly more, depending on how old and unkept this oven is. Your shoes were kicked off long ago, and now you're slipping off a few items of clothing, peeling the layers down until you're in just your undergarments. "More treats for me?" Arthur flirts as he watches you undress. "I'm afraid I ain't wearing the nice lingerie, Arthur," you reply, shaking your head softly. "All your lingerie is nice! how many times have I gotta tell you that?" "Oh, I see how it is!" you laugh. "So, you won't let me tell you that you're a good man, but you expect me to listen when you say all my lingerie is nice?" you question, playfully pointing out his hypocrisy as you crawl onto the bed, sitting on your knees beside him. "That ain't the same," Arthur murmurs, tilting his head to look away from you. He finishes off his final peach slice, placing the empty can on the bedside table, and turns to face you. "So, what now?" he asks. "Now, you let me give you a massage," you say with a smile. "A massage?!" Arthur blurts out. "You really are doing everythin' for me this weekend," he laughs, but doesn't protest. Instead, Arthur shuffles down the bed, rolling over onto his front. He bunches up the pillows beneath his head, his broad arms wrapping around them, snuggling down into the feather pillow. Arthur looks just like he always does - covered in bruises and cuts, his skin worn and flaky, peeling in some places from sunburn that he's caught out on the road. He's truly a rugged, classic cowboy, although Arthur doesn't always like the term. It's been drilled into his head by Dutch that 'outlaw' is the proper term, which is correct, considering Arthur doesn't herd cows for a living. You reach down over the edge of the bed, fishing into your rucksack for the bottle of massage oil you've brought specifically for this occasion. Arthur has a perfect, peachy behind, that you straddle and sit on, then begin getting to work. The oil is warmed up in your hands before smearing it all over Arthurs back; your hands trail up to his shoulders, coating them with whatever oil is left on your hands, before focusing on the massage. To nobody's surprise, he's tense, full of knots, lumps and bumps. Arthur reminds you of a workhorse, one that has been left in his harness for far too long; he's not been brushed in a long time, his coat now sticky and matted, and his hooves are overgrown and causing him pain. If only there was a way to shame the camp for what they've done, to make it clear just how much they've worn Arthur down, far beyond his bones. Thankfully, Arthur lets out sighs of relief, pleasant hums, small words of appreciation like "right there," and "oh, another knot?" His eyes are shut throughout it all, complimenting his relaxed face, but on the odd occasion, Arthurs brows do furrow as you work away another knot. You continue your trail, over his arms, down his shoulder blades, along his spine, and without thinking, you start massaging his bum. At first, Arthur laughs, and thinks you're joking. "You want me to stop?" you question. "...Nah, it's quite nice, actually," Arthur encourages, and chuckles to himself as you continue, playfully kneading at each of his cheeks. You shuffle down the bed as you go, spending far too long on his thighs; they're solid, as hard as his biceps and chest, and you question if he could crush somebody's skull between them. He continues showing his appreciation through the same small comments and pleasant sounds, but does grumble as you defeat a knot in his calf. Your hands trail up his body again, much quick this time, and return to playfully massaging his bum. "You really like m'peach, don't you?" Arthur says with a laugh, his eyes still shut, not paying much attention to your playfulness. "I do, you must do a lot of squats on your travels," you reply. "I guess I do, between everythin' else." Jealous is an understatement, it's downright unfair that Arthur Morgan has an ass this fine. However, as you're massaging away, an idea crosses your mind. You can't deny that you didn't prepare for this, wanting to be ready for whatever Arthur needs this weekend, so why not give it a try? You continue massaging away, innocent as always, but you slide the pad of your finger between his cheeks, making sure it trails over his entrance. Arthur doesn't react, and you assume he thinks you made a mistake, so you slide your finger over again. This time, Arthur lets out a hum, and that's it, that's all you manage to draw out from him. He'd tell you to stop, if he wanted you to, but he hasn't, so you continue. You eventually put your focus on his entrance, momentarily moving away to slick your fingers up in oil. Arthur lets out a deep exhale as your damp fingers press against his entrance, rubbing over his holes in circles, testing the waters before dipping in. Arthur lets out a sigh as you start pushing a finger in, only sinking your finger down to the first joint. You pause, and check to see how Arthur's doing; he's golden, a soft smile across his lips, and you're happy with how willing he seems. You then push down to the next joint. To your surprise, Arthur pushes his hips up, rutting against your fingers, pushing your finger into him until he reaches your knuckle. His hips return to resting on the bed, and he lets you take the lead, slowly working your single digit in and out of him. Arthur lets out the softest sighs you've ever heard, barely above a whisper, clearly enjoying the special attention that you've giving him. Once he feels ready, you begin slipping another finger in. This time, Arthur moans, his eyes remaining shut as you begin slowly fucking him with your fingers. "Damn," Arthur whimpers as you reach your knuckles. "This alright?" you question. "Yeah, real alright," Arthur moans. "Although, this ain't what I expected when you said you were gonna take care of me," he says with a soft laugh. "You let me know if you want me to stop," you reassure him, but your words are cut short as Arthur protests. "I won't be needin' to do that." "Oh? I think you forgot something, Arthur," you tut. Your voice is firm, a tone that you only use when needed, and Arthur picks up on it straight away. "I'm sorry... Miss," he sighs. "That's better, good boy." Arthur begins gripping at the pillow, bunching the thick fabric up in his fists, his head burying into it as you begin scissoring him, preparing him as much as you can. It's been so long since he received this kind of treatment, always so busy with work, always away on his travels, resorting to using his own hand whenever he can. It's rare that you two are left alone, and even rarer to be in a quiet and comfortable setting, so you might as well make the most of it.

 "You feel ready, Arthur," you comment as you roll onto your side, relaxing on the bed beside him. Arthur finally peeks up, his eyes meeting yours, blown and hazy, entranced by your magic. "Ready for what, Miss?" he questions. "How's about I show you?" you suggest, tilting your head to latch your lips onto Arthurs. He kisses you tenderly, as always, his lips trailing over yours as light as a feather. Arthur lets out a whimper, crying into your mouth as you begin moving your fingers again; he continues his attempt at kissing you, but can't help the mewls that escape his lips as you continue toying with him. You break the kiss, your eyes meeting Arthurs; he's gazing at you lovingly, with a layer of lust drawn over him. "Please show me, Miss," Arthur begs. A soft kiss is placed on Arthur forehead as you slip your fingers from him, wiping yourself off on the covers before shuffling back up onto your knees. "No peeking," you order, and you watch as Arthur turns his head back against the pillow, shutting his eyes. You don't take too long to get ready, knowing exactly how to fasten this strap on. It always feels a little odd at first, foreign and somewhat sin-worthy, as you know neither of you should be doing this, but who's going to arrest you? God? You return to straddling Arthur, your cock slapping his butt cheek as you settle down. Arthur instantly knows what's in store for him, "I knew it," he mutters under his breath. "Don't get cheeky with me, boy," you teasingly prod. Arthur lets out a soft chuckle as he replies "I won't, Miss." You use some more oil to slick your cock up, adding a generous amount, before lining yourself up against Arthurs entrance. Slowly, you begin pushing in. Arthur deeply exhales as the tip enters him, his sigh turning into a long, drawn out moan as you sink deeper. Once fully sheathed, you hold yourself there, letting Arthur relax around your length. He's already panting, his eyes scrunched shut, his forehead slightly sweaty. Within time, Arthur calms down, and gives you a small nod to indicate that he's ready. You take it slow, watching as your cock disappears, then reappears. "Good boy," you coo, placing a kiss on Arthur shoulder blade. His cheeks are turning redder by the second, and he shifts his upper body upright, lying like a sphinx; it's the perfect position, you're able to thrust your cock down into Arthur, whilst having easy access to his neck and shoulders, soon to be covered in kisses. After some time, you pick up the pace. Arthur begins moaning, babbling out phrases like "thank you, Miss" and "yes please, Miss." "This is exactly what you need, isn't it?" you comment. Arthur's about to reply, but you slam your cock sharply into him, cutting his words short as he falls limp against the pillow. He stutters a few times before managing to show his appreciation, "it is, Miss." "And you look so pretty, as always, Arthur. Such a pretty boy, taking this strap for me." You feel Arthur tense up at your comment; he's fighting the urge to reject your praise, constantly thinking he doesn't deserve it. Arthur licks his lips before replying, "I am, Miss." "Good boy," you smile, dipping your head down to kiss his cheek. "My good boy," you correct yourself. "Your good boy," Arthur nods in agreement, before burying his head in the pillow, his hands gripping at it yet again. The pace you're going at is comfortable, not too slow, and not too fast; you're not being a tease, nor are you breaking a sweat, but it seems it's enough to make Arthur begin hitting peak. He always lets out specific moans when he's about to cum, only you're not ready for this to be over, not just yet. "Don't cum yet, sweetheart," you order in a soft and sweet tone. "M'tryin', it's just... it's been so long," Arthur whimpers. His head turns slightly as he talks, showing off his vibrant cheeks, and the glow of sweat painted across his face. "I know, Arthur," you sigh, kissing his shoulder. "But we've got all weekend to catch up," you smile, and return to your steady pace. Arthur's practically melted on the bed, sandwiched between you and the mattress. He already looks debauched, no doubt he'll need a towel bath before bed, if the bed is still sleepable, as you're almost certain Arthur has left a puddle of pre-cum atop of it. Oh well, you brought spare blankets for a reason. "M-Miss... I can't," Arthur pants. "You gotta... you gotta let me," he pleads. Arthur sounds like he's about to burst into tears, and you accept his plead by slipping out of him. "Roll over," you order, and Arthur flips over milliseconds after you order him to, eager as always. You shuffle down the bed and wrap your lips around his cock, to which Arthur practically sobs. He cums instantly, his hand resting on the back of your head, not pushing you down, but relaxing there instinctively. Arthur lets out a trail of sighs and moans, thanking you over and over. You milk him for all he's worth, running your tongue along his overly-sensitive shaft before sliding off him with a 'pop.' You've barely swallowed when Arthur grabs you, pulling you up against him. "Your turn, Miss," he blurts out, rushing to slip his hand between your legs. He dips beneath your strap, sinking his fingers into you, and curls them, rutting them perfectly. Arthur knows what he's doing, he knows your body better than you do, and you feel yourself tightening around him moments later, squirming against him as you cum. Near the end of your orgasm, Arthur catches your lips with his, and uses his spare hand to pull you down into a deep kiss. You're both starving, letting tongues slide against each other, noses bumping slightly, moans and groans escaping between kisses. Eventually, the kiss relaxes, as well as your bodies, falling limp atop of him. Arthur slips his fingers from you, wiping himself off on the covers before wrapping his arms around you. "God damn," he mutters, then places a kiss to your temple. "I needed that, I really needed that... thank you." "You ain't gotta thank me, Arthur," you reply as you trail your fingertips across his chest. Arthur doesn't verbally reply, instead, he gives you a slight squeeze during the cuddle. You're both exhausted, drained on the first day of your weekend away, but you'll probably be refreshed by the time morning rolls around, ready to wake Arthur up with another surprise. The silence is soon broken as Arthur sniffs the air, his nose scrunching up at the scent. "You smell somethin'?" he questions. "Shit, the dinner!!"