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#I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that
milflewis · 2 months
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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leqonsluv3r · 23 days
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valentine’s day
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—leon finally starts to heal after he meets you in a grocery store, a blurb
masterlist taglist
an: i’ve had this idea in my head since i went to the LANY concert a month ago and heard this song live. i have not been the same person since, this drabble/blurb is dedicated to this song and leon. it’s a lot longer then i intended and i apologize lol
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leon wasn’t one to heal easy.
not from his past, not from the missions when he saw more gore and blood then he wanted to. not when he had gagged every time he saw blood from that point foreword.
he was still healing when he walked into a grocery store about four months after his last mission. he was still healing when he grabbed one of those stupid baskets to carry your groceries in through the store.
he grabbed a couple bottles of alcohol, some snacks and some soap. essentials, things he needs. because sleeping without alcohol now is…it’s a lot harder then it used to be. just nightmares and images of bloodshed — he just says fuck it. he gets what he needs, what he wants and he goes up to the front of the store to pay.
what he doesn’t understand, when he sees you for the first time, is why your working in a grocery store of all places. your too beautiful for that, you should be doing something better, something worthy of your time. he doesn’t know a single thing about you yet and he’s willing to draw that conclusion.
you smile kindly at people from behind your register, your voice is kind and sweet. it draws something within him like a magnet, his heart is pounding, he’s going to explode or something. he used to be so good at talking to women but it’s declined as the years have gone by. he’s gotten tired, he just didn’t care like he used to.
he awkwardly sits his basket down on the conveyor belt of the register, you catch his eye and smile a little and it fucking does something to him. he knows he’s screwed beyond relief at that point. he smiles back, or tries to. he’s out of practice on that to, can’t remember the last time he’s smiled.
“this all for you?” you say softly, your eyes scanning over the bottles of alcohol, the snacks and the bottle of soap. he nods and chuckles a little, low and deep, just like his voice. “yeah, that’s all…” he grabs his wallet out of his back pocket of his jeans.
he wish he could say something better, something more positive and just something to grab your attention. he searches his brain as you tell him the total and he hands you the card. but he doesn’t have to say anything, you speak first.
“leon? that’s…you have a nice name.” you say and it snaps him out of his brain, he blinks those devastating blue eyes. ones that were once full of life, he nods. “my mom gave it to me.” he jokes lamely, or at least he thinks it’s lame until he hears your small little giggle.
he feels his heart beat with more confidence and energy now, like his one effort at making you smile is good enough. making you laugh is worth enough. you hand him his card back and put the receipt in the shopping bag, telling him to have a great day. not a nice day like you did with the others, but a great day. like you could tell he needed to hear that.
he walks out of the grocery store with the biggest, stupidest smile on his face. one that he has been a stranger to for months. he has you to thank for that.
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the weeks that followed he came back to the grocery store, once maybe sometimes three times a week if he wasn’t sent off on a mission. he almost can’t help himself, he likes talking to you when your there.
you make him feel something he hadn’t felt in such a long time. it’s almost ridiculous, but he can’t help himself, it’s like an addiction. but it doesn’t involve him waking up with a hangover.
he keeps coming, week after week and buying things from the grocery store just to talk to you, just to see your sweet face. just to give him some kind of ray of sunshine that casts his whole body in a warm glow. making his heart beat faster.
but today was different, he was going to ask you out today. he was going to do it, he couldn’t be scared anymore. he couldn’t let you pass by anymore like something rare and just ignore you.
you were something to him. even if you didn’t even know that yet.
he walked up, carrying the same five things he always grabbed. his heart was pounding wildly, he was so out of practice but he just had to get out there and do it. just give himself something, he would hope you would say yes.
he put the items on the conveyor belt and waited until it was his turn, you finished checking out the customer in front of him and then turned to look at him. “hi stranger, haven’t seen you in awhile.” you say with a small frown, it’s adorable, it makes his heart melt.
he chuckles and shakes his head, “didn’t know you missed me.” he muses as he watches you start scanning his stuff. slowly and methodically almost as if you wanted this interaction to last longer too.
you sigh and shake your head, “of course i did, your my favorite customer.” you say with a small smile, and if he wasn’t looking so intently at you, he wouldn’t have noticed the subtle blush on your cheeks.
“i better be. goodness knows i give you guys enough business.” he chuckles playfully and flashes you a grin, almost as bright as the sun. he didn’t know where he was willing this confidence from, maybe it’s because he needed you. he needed you to at least attempt to be with him. you were the first light he has had in his life in a long time.
you scan his last item and he realizes it’s now or never, “26.73” you say as you lay out your hand for the card so he can pay. he reaches into his wallet and gives it to you, your fingers brush against each other. he wills himself to do it, to just do it now.
“uhm, i actually…i have a question for you.” he says with a small tremble of his hands, keeping his eyes on you to gauge your reaction behind the register. you look back up at him, swiping his card. “yeah?” you say and he could swear there’s almost hopefulness in your voice.
he swallows all the nerves down and attempts to keep himself calm enough to get this out, he can’t screw this up. he cannot screw you up, he would never forgive himself if he did.
“do you want to go out with me? like on a date?” he says and it’s so weird, the words feel foreign as they slipped from his mouth. usually women used to flock to him, but they didn’t anymore. his confidence with women had slipped right along with him trying to be sober all the time.
you blinked at him, holding onto his card in your small but intricate fingers. you seem to be thinking it over, weighing your options. he feels like the rejection is going to slip out of your lips at any given moment and he’s preparing himself for it.
then eventually, you respond, “i’d love to.”
now, it’s his turn to gawk and blink at you, almost perplexed that you are actually saying yes, accepting him and accepting this date. he can’t help the smile on his face, it’s almost stupid. you hand him the card and his brain goes on autopilot. you hand him the bag of his stuff, he grabs it and goes to walk away.
until, “wait! you forgot your receipt!” you yell behind him, holding up a slip of paper and waving it. he turns around and walks back to the register, his brows furrowed. you never gave him a receipt, he grabs the slip of paper from your fingers. he reads it over with confusion until he sees your number at the bottom, your hand writing and scribbles drawn with a little heart next to it.
he smiles, another genuine one that only you could conjure onto his face. “text me, we can set up a date.” you say to him, nodding towards the receipt. you look just as giddy as he feels inside. he nods, “absolutely. will do.”
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he texts you the minute he gets home. and you respond. the texts keep going between you two until you both eventually settle on a date to go out. your both feeling like love-struck teenagers, so entranced with each other it’s almost borderline disgusting.
the week after you set the date passes and neither of you can hardly wait. you both have your reasons for being nervous, you both have that joy when you see each other but it shines in a different way. especially when he picks you up for your guy’s date.
you look stunning. stunning doesn’t even begin to cover it for him. you look like if heaven was a person, like an angel. that’s good enough reason for him to not let his blue eyes break from you all night.
and they don’t, they don’t ever break. not one second, he keeps his gaze on you at dinner, when your both talking and flirting aimlessly with each other. to leon, it feels good to have that someone; even if they don’t know it yet. that lights up their world and just makes it so much better.
he doesn’t break his gaze when you two walk by the lake, showing him all the birds and where they nest when winter comes closer. he admires the way you talk about small things, things that other people wouldn’t normally talk about or care about for that matter. but you took time, every week, to come feed the ducks and birds at this lake.
and he doesn’t break his gaze when he walks you back to your place, low intimate whispers that turn into slow kisses and touches. it doesn’t turn frantic, it just stays slow and gentle. it’s loving and it almost wants to make leon cry, because you care so much, this kiss just proves it.
because for the first time in a long time, you make him feel cared for. you make him feel wanted and it’s so much to him that he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
he wants you forever, he wants you as long as you let him have you. and he’s always going to take care of you, just like you’ve unknowingly taken care of him. taken the sadness away from him by just being in his life.
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three months later, you and leon were dating.
you guys were the happiest people, it seemed you brought leon back from the edge. he opened up and you learned all you could about him. he got to learn more about you. and you both loved the idea of having that one confidant in each other.
the one you would have when you were sad, scared, angry, frustrated, etc. everything made sense with the two of you together. and you guys found that one piece that was missing within each of you. you guys were happy, leon was smiling a lot more then he usually did.
he didn’t drink his days away anymore, he didn’t come back from missions to an empty apartment and he didn’t have nightmares. it was still there but you dulled the ache, you filled that dark hole inside of him that had been gone for so long.
you made him happier, you made him recognize the man in the mirror again with your love. your love and everything about you made him better. he was better for you.
you had each other to soothe the gaps and ridges of your guys souls that were jagged. you had that thing that he was searching for, that he’d been missing for so long.
he loved you.
and nothing was ever going to change that.
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an: i love you guys sm :,) thank you guys for reading my stuff and engaging. i was so worried when i started writing on tumblr that it wasn’t going to take. that no one would like my writing and i was wrong. you guys have given me so much support in liking my fics. it makes me so happy to have that support. it keeps me going. i love you all, i’ll be posting a one shot soon, keep up on my requests. pls reblog if you enjoyed, you guys know the drill. kisses, xx.
taglist: @elihii @heartsforvin @argreion @sqiim (to join the taglist DM me or interact with my link at the beginning)
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hazelsmirrorball · 8 months
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Spiderman's biggest Fan | Jaime Reyes
summary:  Jaime Reyes is the biggest spiderman fan. His girlfriend on the other hand is Spiderman's biggest hater. 
pairings: Jaime Reyes x Fem! Reader 
a/n:  I’ve been wanting to do this for a while but as I was walking towards my literature class I saw a big ass spider so that inspired me to write this. This will probably have a second part if you guys want.
warning: English isn’t my main language
[MASTERLIST]
part two. part three. part four part five
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Superheroes wasn’t a new term for the citizens of Palmera City. They were aware of the crimes that the cities around them would face like Metropolis or Gotham City. But Palmera city wasn’t a goldmine for a lot of villains to show up but there were a few constant ones like  Doctor Octopus, Electro, the Rhino and occasionally some more. Before Blue Beetle had come around there had been a few super heroes that would patrol from time to time. Superheroes from the Justice League would pass by which added to people's curiosity, and by people mainly Milagro and Jaime. They loved the entertainment that it brought to Palmera. It made Palmera City more interesting. People had mixed reactions to superheroes, even though they were supposed to keep “humans” safe, some people had love-hate relationships with them, but some people were like the Reyes family. 
Before the whole Khaji-Da situation, Milagro and Jaime would obsess over heroes. Collecting comics, occasionally buying merchandise, collecting news articles with their favorite heroes and other things Milagro and Jaime would be ashamed of even mentioning. Superheroes  was something Jaime and Milagro bonded over. Even when Jaime left for his pre-law degree in Gotham City,  he made sure he  would snap pictures of the titans or batman when he got a glimpse of them. He even snuck a few pics of Red Hood beating the shit out of the joker.  The pictures would end up in the group chat he had with his sister and his girlfriend, Y/n. Milagro loved seeing all the heroes, gushing over the titans from time to time while Y/n would just leave the text message on read. Milagro would reciprocate the messages by sending him pictures of their all time favorite superhero, Spiderman.    
Spiderman was the shit in Palmera city, everyone went crazy about that man. Spiderman had been spiderman for a long time now. Keeping crime to a minimum in Palmera, he kept Palmera safe. Spiderman was Palmeras Batman or Superman. He was deeply loved by the people. Excluding the media and Kord enterprises. Depending on which news was your go to, you would see John Jameson bashing Spiderman or other news outlets talking wonders about him. But the city of Palmera hated both Kord and John Jameson so Spiderman didn’t have to worry that much. 
Even though Spiderman was a national treasure no one had a clue of who he was and it  intrigued Jaime. The fact that there was a possibility that he had seen spiderman around in his normal attire. Jaime and Milagro would see him from afar fighting crime and that would be the start of the gushing train. They only had one interaction with the man. Nana, Milagro and Jaime had gone to get groceries and before they could even process what was going on someone was robbing the store. It didn’t take long for Spiderman to show up and save the day. Both of them stared in awe from afar not wanting to disturb him. That day was one of the top days in their life. 
Y/n, Jaime’s girlfriend of seven years, on the other hand didn’t understand their infatuation with superheroes. She had known the siblings ever since diapers and they usually would have a lot of things in common. Knowing each other for years made them click with a lot of things  but it was weird for her to click with them on that specific topic. She was on the other side of the spectrum. She could care less about the heroes, it’s not like it affected her directly.  At least that’s what her boyfriend thought. 
From Jaimes perspective Y/n hated Spiderman. She didn’t stand him, every time Milagro or him would mention Spiderman she would tense up and roll her eyes, clearly annoyed. She didn’t like the subject. Y/n would walk away groaning when Spiderman would show up on the news while Jaime and Milagro would gush about him. At some point Jaime thought it was mere jealousy but he quickly pushed that thought away when he brought it up. Y/n mentioned that she just didn't understand what was all the fuss about. That to her these superheroes was just some bullshit that she didn’t want to deal with. That maybe Jameson was right, the world could live without Spiderman,the world could live without heroes. 
“Heroes just make us “normal people” a charity case and you are eating that bullshit up” Y/n defended herself  as looked at her boyfriend's shirt. I love spiderman written in the same font as those New York tourist shirts, spiderman being in the heart . Jaime looked at her with puppy dog eyes pouting as he hugged himself. 
“So that’s a no on being spidermen for halloween?” He asked softly as she groaned leaving him alone  
So when the whole Khaji-Da situation came creeping into Jaime’s life he hid it from his longtime girlfriend. He didn’t know how such a beautiful person like Y/n would stay with him in a relationship for so long. He couldn’t risk fucking things up, he didn’t choose to have Khaji-Da. He made his family swear that they wouldn’t say a word to her. Which they hesitantly agreed, respecting Jaime’s decision. He hated hiding things from the love of his life, but from the back of his head he would imagine what you would think about him now that he had “powers” and you were using them for good. It didn’t mean he was a superhero, right? 
Jaime saw a future with Y/n and being Blue Beetle wasn’t going to change that in the slightest. They were going to finish grad school, get married and have a family. So even if he did feel guilty about hiding such a big secret he would have to keep it a secret to save their relationship. In Y/n eyes Jaime found a job at Kord industries and he worked nights, which wasn’t a complete lie. So that made him feel a little less guilty. Y/n was one of the most important things in his life and he wasn’t going to lose her, never in a million years. 
But after the Reyes household burned down, Y/n had offered the Reyes family to stay with her and her aunt Marisol until everything was settled, which they agreed. So there they were the Reyes and the L/N living together. Which made Jaimes secret a little more harder to hide, being under the same for months was going to make things slip. He couldn’t sneak up in his girlfriend's room wearing his suit. So before anything could happen he took a break, he didn’t want to risk her finding out. He needed to take advantage of living with his girlfriend, seeing what it’s like to actually live with her, getting a preview of what’s to come. 
 That’s when Jaime started to pick up on Y/n’s weird behavior. How she would leave on random moments of the day or how she would avoid him at night. She was hiding something and he knew it. After all these years he  could pick up on the little things she did and to him it was pretty obvious that she was hiding something. Something that fucked him over was the fact that he didn’t want to pry because he also knew that he was keeping things from her.  But in his defense it was also for their safety and their relationship. So maybe he should let her have this secret, it wasn’t like she was cheating or something. Y/n wasn’t like that.   
That was until she  slipped into the kitchen spotting Jaime and Milagro eating some cereal while reading the news assuming that was Spider Man's new little stunt. She rolled her eyes walking towards them. She took a sip of Jaimes drink, placing it back down quickly. 
“Buenos dias, nena” Jaime replied, smiling at her in awe making Milagro start her puking noises. 
“Buenos dias! How did you guys sleep?” She said as she  gave Milagro a little squeeze on the shoulder and a peck on Jaimes cheek. Milagro spined the stool to face her while narrowing her eyes at the couple. 
“I slept well, how about you Jaime? How did you sleep” Milagro replied, taking a sip of her drink while looking at Jaime to make him talk. MIlagro wasn’t dumb, she was noticing that the couple wasn’t in synch as usual and she wasn’t going to let her brother fuck it up. 
“Oh, um. I kinda couldn’t sleep. I miss you all night” He replied looking at his girlfriend not knowing what words to use. He didn’t want to sound like an obsessive boyfriend.  
 No offense but since Jaime isn’t going to say it I will. You look like you haven’t slept in years and we all know you are not sleeping here” She exclaimed straddling Y/n. 
“Sorry! I’ve just been taking school seriously  and since I'm doing that I am studying more than usual. I don’t want to have you guys staying all night up because I am doing my work. I just go to the library, that’s all. Don’t worry after midterms I’ll be all yours. Now are you guys still focused on the last spiderman fight? Come on! Shouldn’t you guys be doing something productive with your lives?” Y/n asked  sarcastically, changing the subject as she fixed the hair leaning against Jaimes touch picking up looking towards the newspaper that was on the counter she pushed the hair to the side. 
That’s when Jaime’s heart stopped. His eyes scanned the bruises in Y/n neck and he could feel his heart drop, sickness overcoming his body. He tried to look away from the barely covered hickeys, not wanting to cause a scene in front of Milagro. He couldn’t believe it, studying in the library my ass. He knew he hadn’t left hickeys on her neck, they hadn’t been intimate in a while because of all of her disappearances. The only interaction they were having was the occasional kiss on the cheek but that was about it. Jaime missed her, her kisses and her touch but he also respected her space so he didn’t bother her. But now the thought of her being with someone else scared him. She was keeping things from him and this was the confirmation.
“Ay mija, para mi que Spiderman es novio tuyo. Because why are you always up his ass? You know what they say, if you can’t beat them join them. It is about time you stop that hate train.  I bet he’s really hot. Don’t you think, Jaime?”  Milagro replied, closing the newspaper and turning to the couple. Jaime nodded completely out of it, his head in a different world. 
“No seas estúpida. I just can’t believe you waste your time on that. That’s all” Y/n shrugged, pulling away from Jaime as she felt her phone vibrating. She pulled it out of her pocket reading the text message and for the first time in forever Jaime tried to peak over her shoulder. He needed to know. 
Jaime, please give Y/n her privacy. Respect is important in a relationship 
Khaji-Da words made Jaime sit straight once again. Y/n turned to Jaime pecking his lips quickly, fixing her hair. 
“I have to go but I will see you guys at night. We are still up for movie night, right? Twilight marathon” Y/n asked the siblings as she looked between them. Milagro nodded and Y/n smiled at her.  Y/n took that as a sign, speed walking towards the door but Jaime followed her suspecting that something was going to happen if he let her go. He holds Y/n arm softly standing on her front porch stopping her dead in her tracks.
“Are you hiding something from me?” Jaime asked slowly, letting his words sink into her. Y/n looked at him confused. 
“What are you on about? Jaime, I’m an open book with you. I’m not hiding anything” she replied calmly making Jaime tense even more. Was she really lying to him? 
“Y/n I can see. I can see the hickeys on your neck” Jaime replied harshly leaving Y/n wide eyed. She swallows hard thinking on how to talk to her but before a word could slip out of her mouth her phone vibrates again.
“I really need to go. Can we please talk about this when I get back?” She replied waiting for Jaime to answer but he stayed quiet trying to fight the anger he was bottling up. When she noticed he wasn’t going to reply Y/n headed her way leaving Jaime on the porch with his emotions. 
She hated herself for leaving her boyfriend after he accused her of cheating. Things weren’t looking good for her. All the sneaking around, all the little lies and the sleepless nights. She was hiding things but it wasn’t the fact that she was cheating. It all had one thing in common.
Spiderman. 
Y/n knew spiderman a little more than Jaime and MIlagro thought. They had a deeper connection than they could ever imagine. 
 When she was fifteen she found herself walking home after a long day of school when she had stumbled upon a spider that not shortly after decided to bite her. But to her dismay she didn’t get deadly poisoned because of the bite instead she got inhuman powers. A radioactive spider gave her superhuman strength ,superhuman speed, superhuman reflexes, superhuman durability, spider-senses and other inexplicable superhuman things. That’s the day spiderman was born.   
She didn’t hate superheroes. She in fact loved them. Shewould feel so accomplished when Jaime fangirled about spiderman but Y/n didn’t want to raise suspicions she acted like she hated everything to do with superheroes. No one in her family knew about her little powers and she intended to keep it that way. After losing her parents and her uncle she didn’t want her aunt to worry about her, she already had too much things on her plate. She wanted to protect the people she loved and if she wanted that they had to be unaware of her powers.  When the bite happened she had started dating Jaime and around the same moment Jaimes obsession with Spiderman started. Y/n hadn’t agreed with the name spiderman but people assuming she was a man made the suspicion of it being her less. So she kept the name, after fighting crime alone in Palmera City some people have gained an eye on her, offering her place in the Justice League, which she gratefully declined not wanting to leave Jaime alone. So they would come around from time to time to work with her. 
It wasn’t hard for her to hide the secret identity from Jaime. With him working late at night and helping around the house he didn’t have time to notice her sneaking out. But now living under the same roof and Jaime rarely going to work made it hard for her. The Justice League needed her help and she was doing the best she could while attempting to balance her relationship. Throughout all the mission Y/n thoughts wandered towards Jaime and how  broken he looked when she left. She was going insane and counting the minutes for her to get back home. She couldn’t even feel the constant hits she was getting while fighting. She got back into reality when Batman decided that the mission was done. After that she swung  through all the buildings trying to get there as soon as possible, not noticing the time. Y/n  quickly climbed the walls of her house slipping into her bedroom window noticing that her door was opened. She watched as Nana walked past the door with her pjs assuring her that she was still on time for the movie night. She slowly crawled on her ceiling as she slipped her mask off. Y/n moved slowly trying not to make any sound as she threw a web to close the door so no one could see her change. When the door was almost closed , Y/n let go of the ceiling with ease letting out an exhausted sigh. She walked towards it tiredly pushing the last few inches closing it. After debating if it was a good idea to have that conversation with his boyfriend, she turned around to face her bed to rest her eyes for at least a few moments. But the shocked look on Milagros face made her freeze dead in her tracks. Milagro let the movies she had in her hands slip as she stared at Y/n with her mouth wide. Y/n followed her expressions trying to think of something to say. 
“What was that?” Aunt Marisol yelled from the kitchen. Y/n swallowed hard, quickly biting her lip. She quickly turned around heading towards the door before anyone else could enter the room worried about the loud bang. 
“ U-uh  it-it’s nothing! Nothing.” Y/n exclaimed looking at the door but quickly looking at Milagro again. Her face was in utter shock as she tried to think of words to say. 
“You’re the Spiderman from…..the news” She said slowly, still inspecting the suit, the shocked look on her face not leaving. Y/n breathing got unevenly quick as she tried to find some sort of excuse to shake Milagro off. 
“I’m not. I’m not” Y/n replied nervously  as she tapped her chest letting the  suit expand, turning bigger which made it slip from her body leaving her in her underwear. 
“You were on the ceiling,” Milagro replied pointing up at the ceiling, her hand shaking with nerves. 
“No I wasn’t! Milagro what are you doing in my room!? You can’t just bust into my room!” With that she could hear someone's steps coming towards her room making her quickly move in front of Milagro as her aunt opened the door.
“The turkey meatloaf recipe es una mierda! We decided to order food. Are you guys, Milagro, do you want to eat something?”  Aunt Marisol asked as she waved smoke out with a rag. 
“Ye-”
“No! We already have food here for are movie night. Don’t worry Aunt Mary” Y/n exclaimed all jumpy trying to get her out as soon as possible. 
“Okay then ... .Maybe but on some clothes” her aunt replied while pointing to her semi naked body. She quickly grabbed the nearest shirt covering her body while nodding. Aunt Marisol closed the door as both of them looked at the place she once stood at.
“She doesn’t know?!” Milagro whisperedyelled as she walked towards the door. Y/n slipped the shirt on blocking her path. 
“No one knows! Well Batman knows because he made my suit but that’s it!” She said in the same tone, getting stressed out. 
“Batman made you that? Are you in the Justice League?” Milagro asked excitedly. While she just shook her head nervously. 
“Well basically… You can’t tell anybody about this, you have to keep it a secret” She said as she watched Milagro almost faint on her bed. As Milagro held her body against the nearest wall Y/n walked towards her. 
“Secret what, why?” 
“If she finds out, if Jaime finds out that there’s people out to kill me every night they are not going to let me do this anymore. Come on, Milagro. Please ” Y/n whispered-yelled with a panicked look on her face pointing towards the door. 
“Okay, okay, okay. I will level with you. I don’t think you should keep this a secret. This is the best thing that has ever happened to you. I mean Y/n…” Milagro exclaimed wanting Y/n to tell everyone, specially Jaime and Marisol. 
“They can not know! I can’t do that to them right now. You know…..with everything that is happening to her…to him…to them…to you, to us! Please Milagro” Y/n replied desperately trying to catch her breath. Milagro look at her knowingly, her gaze softening. 
“Okay” 
“Just swear it, okay?” 
“I swear,” Milagro replied, smiling at her softly, trying to ease her nerves. 
“Thank you…. I can’t believe this is happening right now. “ Y/n replied as she walked towards the other extreme of the room trying to calm herself. 
“Can I try the suit on?…” 
“No” 
“How does it work? Is it magnets? How do you shoot the strings? Why are you spiderman if you are a spiderwoman?”
“I’ll talk to you about this tomorrow. I just need to rest, please” Y/n replied taking Milagros by the hand walking her towards the door. 
“Wait, so you aren’t cheating on Jaime!” She replied before she left the room.
“No! It isn’t a hickey, it's a bruise from the fight you guys were reading about '' Y/n exclaimed before closing the door leaning her head against it. She scanned her room, her eyes failing on her mirror noticing she was wearing Jaimes “I love Spiderman”. 
That’s why they say you should never meet your idols. It will be disappointing when you see how they truly are.
part two. part three
[MASTERLIST]
561 notes · View notes
justmeinadaze · 11 months
Note
Smutty request here....massage therapist(s) Eddie and/or Steve 🥴
Got me feeling all the things
Happy Ending (Steddie X You)
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A/N: So this intimidated me a bit because I don't a whole lot about massages and that field. But I ran with what I know and put a spin on it. I hope you enjoy it!
Warnings: Masseuses Steddie and you and all that implies (I regret nothing), mentions of stress from the read and a broken heart, she is aware that they provide more than just massages, DP (I said what I said), they are gentle with her for the most part but their is slight allusions to Dom/Sub dynamics (spanking, some bratty behavior, and stern tones), I think that's it.
Word Count: 6244
“Trust me, Y/N, these two will change your life.”
“They’re masseuses. It’s a massage, Deb.”
“Yes and no.” You stare at your friend as you sarcastically blink in her direction making her laugh so hard she almost spits out her drink. “Yes, they massage your body but they also do…other things…to help you relax.”
“Nope. No thank you. I’m good.”
“Y/N! Wait, come on.” She reaches for you hand as you start to get up from the lunch table you two were eating at. “Listen… you remember how hard things were for me a few months ago? I was working 80-hour weeks trying to get that promotion, my mom was scolding me because I’m still not married, and then add in being broke as hell.” Your friend sighed as you placed your palm over her hand.  
“Someone suggested them and I thought ‘Hey, what do I have to lose?’ When I met them, they were so kind and gentle. I swear for a second, I forgot I was even worried about anything. And that was before the…ahem…happy ending.” You blush as you both giggle. Debbie suddenly leans in closer to you, lowering her voice. 
“They both do the massaging part but you can decide who makes your ending a happy one. Personally, I chose the tall, pretty one. Not that the other one wasn’t cute…he’s just not my type, you know?”
“You can only have one?”
Your friend gasps as she playfully hits your arm. “You whore!”
“What?! I’m just asking! More so out of curiosity.”, you shrug. “I guess not everyone is into that kind of…kink but…I mean if you’re hiring them knowing what they do…wouldn’t you want to take the opportunity?”
“Goddamn, I will never understand why Tony cheated on you.” Your eyes meet hers as she softly smiles. “You’re sweet, funny, fucking gorgeous, and apparently really open minded when it comes to ménage à trois.”
You return her smile with one of your own as you lean back in your chair. “Yeah, well, if you ever find that out will you let me know?”
****
You sigh as you enter your big, empty apartment. Tony, your ex-fiancé, was supposed to come by while you were out today with your friend to get the last of his things. Now half of your home was quite literally gone. 
As you hugged your arms around yourself you noticed a note on the kitchen counter. 
“Y/N,
I think I got everything but if I forgot something can you save it and let me know? 
This was incredibly hard for me. I love you so much, baby. Can’t we just—”
You crumple the letter without bothering to read the rest. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. You heard it all before you caught him with her that night and after you threw him out.
After grabbing a beer from the fridge, you held the card Debbie gave you for the masseuses, tracing your fingers over the number.
“Ugh! Fuck it.”, you exhale as you reach for the phone.
It rings a few times but right as you begin to rethink what you’re doing; music suddenly blares through the line. 
“Yeah! Hello?”
“Um, hi. I’m looking for the Munson-Harrington massage people…thing.”
The man on the other end chuckles as he lowers the heavy metal in the background. 
“I don’t think I’ve heard us called that before. Massage people thing… Yeah, you got one of them here. How can I help you, sweetheart?”
“I, um, my friend recommended I utilize your services.”
“Do you always talk this dirty or are we special?”
“I don’t know. Are you always this much of asshole or am I just that special.”, you growl.
The music on the other end abruptly stops and you hear movement on the other end. 
“You sound like your absolutely special. Are you a little nervous?”
You sigh as you lean against the kitchen the wall. “Yeah. I’ve never done anything like this before. Not even regular…massages. Deb, my friend, said you guys changed her life. My life kind of sucks right now.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to and you definitely don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. My friend and I just want to help you relax. Pretty sounding girl like you deserves a clear head.”
“Hm. I bet you say that to everyone who calls.”
“You’re right. I did tell the telemarketer before you that he sounded gorgeous.”
That made you genuinely laugh. “What’s your name?”
“Eddie. I’m the Munson in the name. What’s yours?”
“Y/N.” You slide down to the floor as you take another swig of the drink in your hand. “Is the Harrington part of your company there?”
“Yes ma’am, he is. Would you like to say hello?”
“If that’s ok. I don’t want to impose or anything.”
“HARRINGTON! There’s a pretty girl on the phone who would like to speak with you.”
You listen to Eddie pass the phone as he tells the other boy your name. 
“Y/N? Hey, I’m Steve. I heard you wanted to talk to me.”
“Are you an asshole like your friend?”
“I can be when I need to. Eddie! What did you do to this girl?”
“Nothing! She started it by calling and being adorable.”
“Oh my god.”, you giggle. “You guys are good.”
“And we haven’t even touched you yet.” Your breathing stuttered at his comment. He said it with so much confidence as if he already knew his hands (and services) would blow you away. “Are you still with me, honey?”
“Yeah, um, Eddie said that…we could go slow and if I didn’t want…the…”
“He’s right. We want you to be comfortable. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Y/N. If you just want a massage that’s fine. If you just want to talk that’s fine to.”
You exhale heavily into the phone before finally making up your mind. 
“Okay. I’m free on Friday.”
############
“Shit, shit, shit!” You continue to curse as you run down your apartment building hallway. “I am so sorry I’m late! Work kept me late and—”
You froze you saw them sitting outside your door, quickly rising when your eyes meet theirs. 
“Hey, no problem.” One of the boy’s grins as he extends his hand for you to shake. “I’m Steve. This is Eddie.”
“The asshole.”, he teases as his gigantic palm encapsulates your own. 
You couldn’t take your eyes off them; they weren’t what you were expecting at all. You assumed Steve was the “tall, pretty one” your friend had mentioned but to you they were both handsome. Eddie had that kind of metalhead look you’d seen walking the streets of your town with his leather jacket and long hair. His Metallica shirt rested perfectly above his belt that was holding up his blue jeans. 
Steve looked like the everyday 80’s guy you saw in most romance movies at the theater but his smile radiated a confidence that made you feel safe. His muscle-bound arms in his polo caused a little sigh to escape your lips as your eyes traced the rest of his figure. 
“Do we…have to do a chant or something?”
You glanced at Eddie completely confused until he gestured towards the front door. 
“Oh, fuck, right. I’m sorry. My head is just…” You clumsily turn your key in the lock and allow them entry into your home. 
“Wow. This place is really nice.”
“Uh, thank you. My fiancé, well ex-fiancé, and I wanted a bigger place closer to the city since we both worked over here. Do you…would you guys like something to drink?”
“No, thank you. We appreciate the offer.” Steve smiles in your direction making your knees a bit weak. “You can have something though if you want.”
“Thanks? I mean with it being my apartment and all.”
“Ah, there’s that sass I was waiting for.” Eddie flashes you a tooth filled grin.
After pouring yourself the strongest drink you could find, you watched them set up near your living room. Your eyes continued to rake over them as they exchanged small talk with each other, allowing you some space to get more comfortable with their presence.
The phone ringing startled you as you turned to give it your attention. Before you could pick it up it routed to the voicemail and Tony’s voice flowed through. 
“Y/N? Babe, are you there? Please, I just want to talk.” Your eyes fluttered shut as you listened to his excuses. You hated being alone and this gigantic apartment was just another reminder that he wasn’t by your side anymore. You missed Tony terribly but no one in the world had ever hurt you as badly as he had. “…I swear to God, she meant nothing to me. I’m just a fucking idiot.”
Feeling a sudden warmth, you opened your eyes to meet Eddie’s as he towered over you. You glanced at Steve whose own face reflected the same sympathy as his friend. 
“…I felt so fucking lonely, Y/N. You were always at work and I felt like you never had time for me. Baby, I know what it’s like to sit in that apartment all by yourself, hurting. Please just talk to me—”
“Hey. Just so you’re aware you are a fucking idiot. She’s not sitting here alone crying her eyes out over some asshole who broke her heart. Y/N has moved on and you should to. Stop calling.”
After hanging up the phone, the metalhead turned to face you again. “I hope that was ok.”
Before you could stop yourself, you wrapped your arms around his waist, clinging to him as you sighed into his chest. His arms gradually came down to hold you to him as his cheek rested on your head. 
“Thank you.”
“My pleasure. I’m not going to lie, Stevie, we may want to reconsider taking a payment in a hug because this is quite comfortable.”
They both laugh as you pull away and smile at them. 
“We’re ready whenever you are, honey.”, Steve grins as he points towards their makeshift table.
#########
Your eyes remain glued in front of you as you listen to Eddie move about the apartment. 
“Y/N.”, Steve whispers from behind you as his breath warms your ear. “Remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. We can just talk if you want or we can even leave. No hard feelings. We understand how uncomfortable this situation can be especially since you don’t know us but that makes it a little bit freeing to.”
“Can, um, can I ask you for a favor?” You softly smile when you turn to look at him and he nods. “Can you…take off my clothes? I-I-I don’t think I…”, you ask, stuttering through your nerves. 
“Yeah. Yeah, of course I can. Did you want to keep anything on?”
“Is that an option?”, you giggle. 
“Sweetheart, you hold all the power here.” Eddie slides up beside his friend, now jacketless with no shoes. 
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone let alone naked in front of someone. Tony wasn’t lying about that. I’ve always been busy with work and—”
Steve gently places his index finger over your lips. “Nothing that asshole says matters. I don’t care if you were on the moon, he had no right to cheat on you.” His finger glides down from your mouth to your blouse as he begins undoing the buttons while the other man shifts behind you and unclips your skirt. 
Both garments fall effortlessly to the floor as Steve continues watching your face for any signs of hesitation or discomfort. 
“We’re going to do this one at a time, ok? I’m going to take off your bra and then Eddie’s going to remove your panties.”
Once he gets your approval, he leans over your shoulder and begins unhooking your bra from your body. You don’t know if it’s because he’s being so sweet or if it’s because his strong cologne wafts into your nostrils but something inside of you causes you to turn and softly kiss his cheek. 
Steve pulls back slightly, looking through your eyes till a small smile flickers across his lips. He and his friend had been doing this for a while but not one of them had been as tender at you had just been. He knew there was something different about you when he spoke to you on the phone and he knew Eddie felt it to when the metalhead completely turned off his music to talk to you. 
He hoped he wasn’t misreading things and took a leap of faith as he leaned forward to kiss your forehead before tossing your bra near the rest of your clothes.
Strong hands on your waist turned you so you were now facing Eddie as he sunk down on his heels, dipping his fingers under the waistband of your underwear, and delicately tugged them down your legs. The pads of his digits traced along your skin causing a little shiver to run up your spine. 
“You’re so gorgeous, Y/N.”
“I’m sure you say that to everyone.”
His grin grows as he stands up and looks down at you. “I did have a date with that telemarketer I told you about. Turns out he WAS really good looking.”
Steve smiled behind you when you laughed, gently guiding you towards their table, and helping you up as you lay on your stomach. Folding your arms above you, you rest your head on them like a pillow. The metalhead digs in a bag before kneeling in front of you again till his face was level with your own. 
“Which do you like better?” He holds up bottles to your nose and you point to one that smells like vanilla. 
“What are those?”
“Oil. Steve’s the smell guy and knows how to utilize them better than I do.” He stands up and passes the bottle you chose to his friend. 
“Honey, we’re going to touch you now, alright? It might feel a little weird at first because of the oil but if at any point you get uncomfortable and want to stop or take a break just let us know.”
“Okay.” You close your eyes, unsure of what to prepare for but when a set of hands begins rubbing into you back, you can’t help but let out a soft, low moan. “Shit. I’m—”
“Princess, this is your house. Make all the noise you want to and please don’t be embarrassed.”
“You can also talk to us if you want to. Maybe about things you’re stressed about.”
A second set of hands find your calves and a strong exhale leave your lips. “Honestly, you heard my main bit of stress.”
“Fucker Magee?”, Eddie asks. 
“Yeah.”, you giggle. “Everyone in my life thinks I’m overreacting and I should forgive him.”
“Um, we may not know the whole story but the man you were going to marry cheated on you. I think you’re reacting properly.” Steve’s hands trailed along your spine and back down to your hips. 
“I went to visit him at work and they were fucking in his office. Some pretty, young, big breasted coworker.” 
“What a bitch.” You smiled as Eddie laughed at his own comment, his palms massaging along your thighs and back down to your feet. “For how long?”
“A few months. We…we were supposed to get married next month.”
Fingers came up to firmly knead into your shoulders. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” Steve watched your lips form into a thin line before you pressed your face into your arms. As soon as you felt your emotions were in check, you turned your head back to the side. 
“That feels good actually.”
“Did you think the massage business part was just for show?”, Steve laughed.
“I mean… I don’t know. I don’t want to be rude.”
“Said the girl who called me an asshole.”
“To be fair, you were being one.” It feels almost on purpose when Eddie’s fingers slide up between your thighs just barely near your core before sliding back down your legs.
“You’re not wrong, sweetheart.”
Steve’s own hands glide up your sides, grazing the sides of your breasts before looping back around to your shoulder blades.  
“I hope I’m not being too forward but you have a beautiful body.”
“No, you’re not being too…thank you. Um, you-you can go a little higher if you want.”
“Who are you talking to, honey? Me or Ed?”
“Eddie… You can go higher to. If you want to…”
The hands on your back lifted off you as Steve came around to kneel in front of you on his heels. “How about we take it slow, huh? One thing at a time.” His palm petted your head as he moved the hair back from your face. You let out a little gasp when you felt the metalhead’s fingers slide between your folds. “Are you okay?”
You nodded as you bit your bottom lip, lifting one of your legs up the table to allow him more accesses. This man felt like a master with his fingers as he rubbed circles slowly into your clit.
“Pl-please.”, you whine. 
“Please what, Y/N? What do you need?
“Can…can I turn around? On my back.”
“Of course, pretty girl. Whatever you want.”
They patient waited for you to roll over before Eddie placed his thumb back on your nub. You watched with heavy, lust driven eyes as he stuck two of his fingers into his mouth, coating them with his saliva, and sliding them into your sex. 
“Oh wow, princess. You’re tight.” He exhaled, trying to hide the little moan that wanted to be heard. 
Steve stood back up to his full height, coming around to stand behind your head as he reached down and ran his hands over your tits, massaging them gently but firmly. 
“F-fuck.”, you whimpered. As your back arched, you could help but notice the bulge in his pants. When you tried to touch it with your palm, he jumped back like you startled him. 
“Hey. Um, you…you don’t have to do that, honey. We’re here for you.”
“You don’t want me to feel you?”
Your voice sounded so small; Steve felt his cock twitch. “I…I do…I just…you don’t have to.”
Grabbing his shirt, you yanked his lips to yours. The combination of man and mint on his tongue had you clenching tighter around the other boy’s fingers making him groan, this time much louder than before. 
“I want to.” You slid further up the table, allowing your head to hang a bit over the edge, licking your lips as the man pulls down his shorts just enough for his dick to spring free. “Jesus. I’ve never had anyone as big as you are before.”
He smirks as he subtly chuckles. “You can’t say things like that or else I’m going to cum before you even touch me.”
Your tiny hand reaches for him as he steps closer, mewling when your tongue runs along his tip. You don’t see it but the men give each other a cursory glance. This is a little out of bounds for them in the sense of they rarely ever have the women they massage service them in this way and on the off chance a client does it’s usually during the second part when they are alone with one of them in the bedroom. 
Steve continues to be gentle with you as he runs his fingers through your hair when you wrap your lips around his hard, now throbbing length. Eddie thrusts his fingers into you at a faster pace and your moans vibrate through to the boy in your mouth. 
“Goddamn, Y/N. Your mouth feels so good. Your ex is a fucking idiot.”
They both take note of your reaction, your head bobbing faster as your pussy clenches again. 
“He really is, sweetheart. Makes me want to call him back and curse that fucker out.”
Tugging your head back, you continue to pump him with your fist as your hips began to grind up into the metalhead’s hand.
“Fuck, I’m…”
“That’s it, beautiful girl. Just let go. It’s okay.” Eddie pressed the heel of his palm against your clit as he moves his fingers move at a quicker pace. The sound of your slick fills the room and after a few moments your body trembles as you cum. “Good girl. Coming like that. Geez, I’m so fucking hard right now.”
Abruptly, you sit up and grab the back of the man’s neck as you bring his lips to yours. After your release, your kisses were much hungrier and you reveled in the taste him as your hands shot down to fumble with his jeans. 
“Wait…are you sure…you don’t want Steve.”, he asks between kisses. “You’ve kinda…got him…all riled up.”
“Want both.”
Eddie froze as he pulled his head back. When you tried to chase his lips, his palms gripped either side of your face forcing you to focus. 
“Hey, you don’t have to do that.”
“Want to.” You tried to lurch forward again but he was much stronger than you, holding you in place. 
“Y/N, princess, come down from cloud 9 and really think about what you’re asking for.”
You couldn’t control the annoyed exhale or tone as your eyes met his. “Am I not allowed? I can pay you more.”
“It’s not about the money. We—”, Steve began before you cut him off.
“Want me to be comfortable. I know! I know what I’m asking for. Now, do you want to fuck me or not!?”
Ringed fingers snaked into your hair and firmly pulled it back. Something changed in Eddie’s eyes; a look he saved for partners he had in his own bedroom. 
“Control the attitude, Y/N.”, he growled. “Listen to what he’s saying. It’s not about the money and it’s not about getting off. It’s not fun for anyone here if you wake up in the morning with regret. And while this little session here IS all about you, don’t forget we’re people to. We’ve been doing this for years and no one has ever asked to take us both one right after the other.”
“I’m not asking for that either. I want you both…at the same time.” They look at each other again, unsure of what to do or say. Your hand reaches out to turn his attention back to you as you lean your forehead on his. “Please, Eddie. I know what I’m asking for. I need it. I need you both. Please, please, please.” As you keep repeating your last word, you manage to fully unbutton his jeans, glide your hand through the waistband of his boxers, and rub your palm against his cock.
His jaw falls open as your lips trail down his neck.
“I mean…if she thinks she can handle it.” 
Eddie growled again with more vigor as he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your bedroom with Steve in tow. After tossing you onto the bed, he tore off his shirt, and you marveled at his tattoos, crawling on your knees till you were in front of him again. His hands laced in your hair as your tongue descended down his chest, stopping just above his waistline to allow him to shuffle out of his pants. 
The bed dipped behind you, suddenly feeling strong palms grip your hips and lift them a bit higher into the air. Steve’s own tongue licked a long stripe through your folds causing your body to shudder pleasantly at the feeling. Eddie held the base of his cock, allowing the tip to brush against your lips. 
You opened your mouth for him and he wasted no time pushing through, groaning when your warm saliva began coating him. The metalhead was much thicker than his friend and at times you struggled to take him, gagging around his dick as he occasionally hit the back of your throat. 
The strong vibrations of your moans as Steve latched his mouth to your clit had Eddie’s own eyes rolling back as he held on to your hair tighter trying to control himself from just face fucking you till he came.
You weren’t sure if it was on purpose or not but both men were still massaging you with their palms, Steve especially. His hands rubbed and caressed firmly up your lower back, around to your stomach, and down to your thighs as his tongue flicked against your bundle of nerves. While one of Eddie’s hands remained in your hair, the other ran between your shoulder blades and around to your front to knead your breasts adding to your high. 
Your mouth came off the boy in front of you with a pop as drool dangled from your lips. 
“Yes, Steve. Please, you’re going to make me cum.”
You practically screamed as he pressed his mouth further into your core, sucking and licking until you felt the coil snap as you came. Your upper half fell flat against the mattress as you panted, smiling softly as your body continued to twitch. 
Eddie’s fingers left your hair and moved to your shoulders as he lifted you back up to your knees so he could see your face. 
“This is the last time I’m going to ask, sweetheart. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, Eddie, I’m sure I want you both inside of me.”
His head tilts to the side at your answer, mostly because it was said correctly, or at least how he liked his questions answered. He wondered if there was a submissive side of you that enjoyed it a bit rougher like they did. Both men NEVER brought that into the bedroom with a client and most of the time none of the women they were with never asked. 
You weren’t asking either but he imagined, like they did, that was something personal for you so you saved it for the man you were dating or intimate with. 
Eddie shook the thoughts from his head as his hand laced around your neck and brought your lips to his again. 
“Seriously, your fiancé is so fucking stupid to let you go.”
You smiled up at him and wrapped your arms around his waist as you yanked him closer to you for a hug. He could get used to this. 
“Have you ever done this before?”, Steve asked.
“This exactly, no. Have I ever done anal before? A couple of times. You may need to go a bit slow at first especially since…um…I’ve never had a man, men, as big or thick like you guys.”
You giggle when the boy exhaled again, grabbing your waist, and falling on to the bed with you on top of him. “You have to stop saying things like that. You’re going to kill me!”  
“What, do you want me to lie? ‘Oh Daddy. Your cock is average size and will definitely not split me in half.’” Your giggle turned into a full-blown laugh until you notice he had a funny little look on his face. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong? I was just—”
Steve leans up, cutting you off with a passionate kiss. “You’re an interesting woman. Eddie’s right. I seriously don’t understand why anyone would cheat on you. If you were mine, I don’t think I’d ever leave your side.”
“Aw…that’s creepy.”, you playfully smiled.
On impulse, he smacked your ass. They never did that first. Sometime a client would ask for a light spank but he just delivered you one he’s only given to bratty girls in his bedroom. He didn’t mean to but something about you made him comfortable.
“Shit. I…I’m sorry.” 
You shook your head, dismissing his apology as you kissed him again. Eddie reached over your shoulder to hand his friend a condom and they both hastily tore into the wrapper before sliding it on. His eyes met yours as he leaned back against your mattress and his hands gripped your waist.
“Whenever you’re ready, honey.”
Nodding, you exhaled the nerves as you tipped forward, and slowly lowered your body to his. You both moaned when his tip breached your entrance and Steve craned his neck to watch himself disappear inside of you inch by inch. 
“Fuck, baby. That’s it. Take your time.”
You heard the metalhead’s heavy breathing behind you as he stroked his cock at the site before him. The sound caused you to clench and a broken mewl left you as you pushed yourself further onto him. 
“Oh my god. You’re so…I can’t…”
His palm glided up your sides to caress your cheek. “Yes, you can, Y/N. You’re doing so good taking me already. Do you want some help?”
When you nodded, he firmly took hold of the back your neck and lowered you till your face was hovering over his. His hips thrust up to meet yours and your mouth fell open. 
“That’s it, baby. Good girl. I’m going to do it again, ok?” When you nod again, he pumped into you a couple more times till you felt him bottom out. “Good girl. Such a good girl. Jesus, so fucking tight. You feel so good, pretty girl. It’s Eddie’s turn. Let him know when you’re ready.”
After a few moments and subtly thrusts from Steve, you turned towards his friend and gave him the okay.
Hands spread open your ass and you tightened around the other man again when you felt spit hit your asshole and Eddie’s fingers massaging it in. Your body tensed slightly when the tip of his cock rubbed between your cheeks.
“Sweetheart, if at any point you want to stop, I want you to say ‘Red’ for me, alright? Can you tell me what I just said?”
“If…if—fuck—if I want to stop…say ‘red’.”
“Atta girl.”, he praised as he quickly leaned forward to kiss your temple. 
Prepared, Steve’s palms held on to your face as Eddie began to push into your body. Your head started to droop but his grip was stronger than yours. “Y/N, look at me, honey.” When you did what he asked, his thumb extended out to run along your bottom lip. “You’re doing amazing. How do you feel?”
“F-full.” The metalhead licked the pads of his fingers, looping his arm under your body to slowly and softly massage circles into your clit. “Oh my god!”
You tried to collapse against Steve’s chest but he still wouldn’t allow it. 
“Holy shit. Y/N, stop moving.”, he scolded in a firm tone before he realized what headspace he was slipping into and reeling himself back into the present. “Baby, not yet. You…you say you’ve never had anyone as big as us. I-I don’t know about, Ed but I’VE never…had a woman as tight as you.” He flashed you a small smile. “I’m trying so fucking hard not to cum right now.”
Eddie’s hair bobbed behind you and the man knew he was nodding in agreement. 
“You can—mmm—you can talk to me…like you did. I-I-I don’t mind.”
His eyes scanned over your face as your eyes closed. “Hey, I said keep your eyes open, sweet girl.” You purposely ignored him, grinding your hips forward slightly for good defiant measure. Both men grunted at the action but it was Steve who held your face tighter. 
“Look at me, now.” This time you listened. “What did I say, Y/N? Don’t fucking move. You need to be patient, little girl. Do you understand me?”
“Y-yes, I understand.” At that moment, the metalhead’s hips finally connected against yours. “You…you both can…move. Please, I need you to move.”
The man underneath you released your face and circled his arms around you as he pressed you to his chest. When they both thrusted into you at the same time, the euphoria you felt was indescribable. It was like they knew exactly what you needed and where they needed to be. Each stroke was strong and precise, hitting every nerve inside of you, and setting your body ablaze. 
“Go-go ahead, princess. You wanted—goddamn—you wanted to move so bad. Take over.” Eddie’s hand came down hard on your behind and you hurriedly (and willingly) did as he commanded. Their grunts and groans drove you crazy, egging you on as you bounced and rolled your hips as fast as you could. The obscene sound of skin hitting skin echoed in your room mixed with your whimpers of pleasure. 
It was almost too overwhelming as the ball in your belly began to wind faster and faster. Steve’s grip moved to your hips as Eddie held on to your shoulders.
“Cum, baby. Let go and cum as hard as you fucking can.”, the man under you whispered into your ear. Your forehead fell into the mattress beside his head as they both pounded into you. Their rhythm changed as they slowed, punching the air from your lungs as white blurs your vision. You scream into the bed below you as they fuck you through it, Steve lifting his hand to run his fingers through your hair.
“That’s it. Good-good fucking girl. Taking us both so well.” Eddie tilted forward, placing sloppy, wet kisses against your back as he rolled his hips. He soon followed after you, grunting loudly as he spilled into the condom. Steve, unable to hold back any longer, came as well, smacking his hips against yours and using you to milk himself dry.
#########
Eddie’s eyes blink open as his watch beeps signaling midnight. His eyes take a quick scan of the area, realizing they were still in your apartment. He and Steve were tucked under your sheets but you weren’t between them. 
“Steven.” The metalhead reached over to shake his friend’s shoulder. “Steve, wake up.”
“Huh? Wha?”
“Oh my god, you idiot. Steve. WAKE. UP.” Between each word, he firmly punched his arm causing the other man to grumble in anger.
“What?! Why are you in my room?”
“Oh, you know. I thought I could just use a nice Harrington cuddle. WE AREN’T AT HOME!”, he hisses. 
Steve rubs his eyes before Eddie’s words sink in and he bolts up right. “Shit. We fell asleep.”
“You don’t say.”
“Shut the fuck up, Munson. Where is she?”
As he shrugs, they both jump out of bed. Steve finds his clothes on the floor but the other boy struggles to find his. 
“I know I took them off here.”
“You did.” They both jump at the sound of your voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I woke up before you and noticed your clothes had oil on them from when you picked me up so I washed them for you.”, you softly smiled as you handed Eddie his jeans and shirt.
“Um, thank you. You…you didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s no problem. I was hungry to I heated up some left-over pizza if you want some.”
Their eyes scanned over you as you leaned in the doorframe with a mug in your hand. You had changed into an oversized shirt with a metal band that Eddie definitely knew and some sleep shorts. Your hair was a little frayed but to both of them you looked like an angel. 
“I mean, you don’t have to. I don’t really know what the protocol is or how this works.”
“Well, to be fair, I’m not sure if you noticed but this whole thing was a bit off script for what we normally do.”, Steve grins as he nervously chuckles. He has no idea what they are supposed to do either.
You silently nodded before turning and heading back out to the kitchen as they follow behind. 
“How, uh, how are you feeling?”, Eddie asks. 
“Calm. Oddly relaxed. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve felt like this since before I got in engaged.” You hop up onto the counter before meeting their gaze. “Thank you.”
They smile as Steve heads for where their things were as Eddie grabs a slice of pizza. “I made some coffee to if you want some.”
“Did you put our table and all that way?”
“Oh, yeah. I cleaned it to. I’m not sure if you’re supposed to use a certain type of cleaner but I just used my 409. I folded it and placed it by the door with your bags. I, um, I wasn’t sure if when you woke up you’d…want to make a quick getaway.”
They exchanged a look as your head hung. 
“Why do you think we would want to do that?” When you shrug at Eddie’s question, he saunters casually over to you and lifts your chin with his fingers. “Let me rephrase. Is that what you want us to do?”
“Do you want us to leave?”, Steve reiterated. 
“Like I said, I don’t know…how this works…”
“That’s not what I asked, Y/N.”
“No…I don’t want you to leave.”
They both grin at your answer. “We don’t want to leave either.”
Eddie starts to giggle through his teeth as he jumps on the counter beside you. 
“What’s so funny, Munson?”, Steve asks as he comes to lean on the counter across from you both. 
The metalhead intertwines his fingers with yours and you lean your head on his shoulder. 
“Nothing. Just…this gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘happy ending’.”
540 notes · View notes
0kayblue · 1 year
Text
Need You
Need You 
You and Leon have been a little more than friends with benefits for awhile and he struggles with what he wants it to be. 
Word count: 3k (almost 4) 
Mentions of alcohol, slightly possessive Leon, over protective Leon, angst, fluff (??kinda??), happy ending, not proofread very well if it all.
A/N: HELLO!! How are you all doing? Good I hope. I’ve been gone for more than a hot minute. It took me a lot longer than what I thought it would to get back into the groove of things. With that being said, this is not that great. Kinda boring, but hey, sometimes things are boring. This is just kind of to get me in the groove of uploading and writing again. 
Part three and request are in the works. They are coming!! I just need a little practice before I start actually going at it again. 
With all my heart, I hope you are having a fantastic day!! Enjoy!! 
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Time had never moved so slow as Leon anxiously bounced his leg underneath the cheap break room table. His tired eyes glanced to the clock and then back down to the untouched styrofoam cup of coffee. 
Leon hated a lot of things about his job, but at this moment debriefing was his least favorite. He detested having to explain everything that happened on missions before he officially had time to process how they happened to him. Not that he ever truly enjoyed thinking about the things he had to do in order to survive, but he liked to have an understanding on why he did this or that. Why he chose to go left instead of right. 
He had just spent nearly three days fighting his way through the deep Rocky Mountains; B.O.W’s at every turn, and he didn’t even get the information he was expected to return with. The whole thing was a waste of his damn time. He was sent to follow a lead that only set the operation two steps back and whatever up and coming supervillain, or want to be Umbrella Corporation, or extremist cult one leap forward. All while defense was wounded and information scrounged for a thread to pull to loosen the seam on the shit show they were currently trying to clean up. 
He was annoyed and beyond frustrated with everything. On top of the emotional stress he also was not in the best shape physically- it wasn’t anything major all things considered- but, broken ribs, internal bruising and external bruising causing almost his whole torso to be a  deep purple almost gray hue, and the bandaged up gashes on his limbs and slight cuts on his face only kept adding straws to the camel's back. He felt like it was only a matter of time before he snapped, he felt like he could only sit here for a few seconds more before he stormed out the door and out of this damn stale sterile building that was too clean. 
He took a deep breath before adjusting himself to sit up straight in the deep blue plastic chair. As he exhaled he closed his eyes and saw the face he’s seen behind his eyelids since he landed, desperate to see it in person. To touch the soft warm flesh of someone he could never get enough of, regardless of the fact that he tried so hard not to get addicted to. Each hit of you more potent than the last, each high allowing him to forget for a little longer, each graze of his skin against yours permitting him to daydream of a life he has always ached for. Even if you didn’t long for the same things he did, he saw you with everything he had ever wanted. It was cruel and yet he continued to do it to himself. 
He had bought you a burner phone with his number and his alone. You were not to use the phone for anything other than to communicate with him. He had asked you to carry it with you at all times, lying and saying he didn’t bug it. He told you that with his line of work that it would make your meetings more secure, that it would keep you off the radar. In a lapse of poor judgment you took the phone and him up on his proposal to make him an official fuck buddy. Who could blame you? It was a scene  straight out of a movie and boosted your ego. It made you feel special that someone so important took such an interest in someone like you. Someone who lived such an exhaustingly normal life. It kept you on cloud nine for at least a week and a half after receiving it. 
It was a purely physical relationship that didn’t require any emotional attachment regardless of the deep emotions that sunk into the both of you too quickly for comfort. Each rendezvous lasted longer than the previous one. Him staying at your place for days, while you both interacted like domesticated adults. Not quite like a married couple, not as casual as friends, and nowhere near as uptight as roommates; it was such an odd relationship, but it wasn’t  uncomfortable. Oftentimes by the end of his stay he left you with more questions than answers. Your knowledge of his life was barley skin deep and you were left to piece it together from fragments he dropped you. 
He on the other hand knew everything about you. He couldn’t help himself. All your information was at his fingertips; your past, your present, and a vague idea of your future. In hindsight he should have left it alone and maybe if he did he wouldn’t be stuck in this current predicament. Maybe wouldn’t be digging in his pocket for the phone that held only one contact number, a phone number that he had memorized even though he shouldn’t have. He leaned forward in the chair as he typed only two words. 
‘Need you.’
He didn’t think about the impact they could have, he didn’t think of the weight they carried, he just sent the message. Not a part of him even considering the fact that you would think it was the truth. He needed you. Rather you are below him or watching some low brow television show that networks pumped out to dumb down the population. He just needed you within reach, he needed the comfort of your presence to ease the buzzing of the world he lived in. 
He sat the phone on the table as he crossed his arms and sat back, anxiously awaiting a reply. He didn’t get a chance to glance at the clock before the phone buzzed against the table. 
‘Busy.’ 
The message read and he couldn’t help but to scoff as his hand ran through freshly washed damp hair. 
‘With what?’ 
He asked in his reply as he sent it. His jaw tightening in annoyed agitation. What part of need did you not understand? He took a deep breath and reminded himself of the nature of the relationship. As he went to follow up his demanding question with a meeting time and place the break room door opened and he shoved the phone back into his pocket. 
“Mr.Kennedy,” A rather thin man with tired eyes and a disheveled navy blue suit sighed out, “I’m sorry, we know you are exhausted, we just have a few more questions. Can you stay for another thirty minutes? No more, no less.”  
Leon forced a polite smile as he stood, “Lead the way.” 
“Thank you so much, Mr. Kennedy.” 
“Please, call me Leon.” Leon insisted as he took the door from the man and just like that he followed the man down the hall and into an elevator; leaving behind a hot cup of coffee to grow cold on a cheap linoleum covered piece of wood where it would eventually be washed down the drain by night janitorial staff. 
It had been an hour since Leon set foot in that room and not much of anything had come out of his answers. He was out of the building now and almost free as his hand found the handle of his car door, but a buzz in his pants pocket caused him to let go of it immediately. As he unlocked the phone he noticed he was left with a voice memo and not a message, which he found odd but not alarming. He couldn’t help but to smile, ready to hear your voice. He pressed play and heard the hustling of feet and an unrecognizable song in the background. 
“She said she was busy, Le-on. Take a hint.” 
A low masculine voice came out of the speaker as he gripped the phone. He pulled it away from his ear with a snarl as he looked at the phone screen. It took every fiber of his being to not shatter the phone right there; it took every remaining ounce of sanity that he had to not let this red hot anger consume him. This little voice in his head pleaded for him to think rationally. 
He opened the car door and slammed it shut behind him as he got in, it was a miracle the car door window didn’t break from the force. He was quick to pull up your location and an airy laugh left him as he knew the location too well. A dive bar on the outskirts of the city, the same exact bar he had found you in. It was tragically comical. 
He didn’t bother with a seat belt as he backed out of his parking spot and hit the gas and drove off after you. The speed limit was a mere suggestion as city lights passed him just as quickly as they appeared. He was livid as his knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel. He was angry. He was angry that you had the audacity to be out with someone at the bar that he met you at. He was furious that you were busy with some asshole who had the nerve to address him by his first name. He was livid that he didn’t just leave work and go to you as soon as he landed. He was heartbroken because even though he was lost in this haze of consuming rage he had no right to feel this way. You weren’t his, but he was yours. 
As Leon quickly pulled into the parking lot he parked his car with no regard to the faded white lines that were supposed to indicate parking spots. He left the car running as he slammed the car door shut, making a bigger scene than the screeching sound his tires made against the asphalt when he parked. He could feel the eyes of smokers burning a hole in his frame as he took quick strides to the front doors of the bar. 
“Nice ride-.” A voice started but was cut off by the beep of Leon locking the car. Normally Leon would nod politely, but he didn’t bother to spare a glance to whoever made the comment. His brows furrowed and a glare that could kill adorning his face as he stepped into the warm bar. 
“Hey!” Zack yelled, the bartender was shouting as Leon watched him scurry from behind the bar and over to a crowded table. Men and some women of varying ages were crowded around the table cheering. “Give that back! How did you even-?” Zack tried to reason as some guy held him back from the table. Leon proceeded with some caution as he approached Zack. 
“Let it go, buddy. He’ll give it right back and pay for the shots as soon as he’s done.” A stranger said as he tried to keep Zack back. “He’ll even pay extra if this chick handles her liquor the way she says she can.”
That got Leon’s attention faster as he pushed his way closer to the front of the table. His eyes locked on your frame laying on the tabletop with your head leaning off the end as another guy poured vodka down your throat. 
“Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!” The man screamed before putting the bottle to his mouth and taking a shot straight from the bottle.
Your laugh rang through the bar as you began to try and sit up, but the man was quicker than you were as he bent down to meet you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders to keep you in place. His lips graze yours as he spit his shot into your mouth. Your throat burning as you tried to push him off of you. For a second you thought your weak  effort was successful as his lips left yours, but when you gained some composure you heard the shattering of glass and saw people back away quickly from the table. 
“Get the fuck off of her!” A voice yelled, that voice, you knew that voice all too well. You sat up as your eyes found Leon’s frame. His shoulders tense as they fell up and down with his labored breathing. His fist clenched and jaw tightened as he threatened in a deep low growl, “Touch her again and I’ll break your fucking spine.” He was in no condition to fight, he was barely standing. He was utterly exhausted and his limbs ached, but the angry adrenaline that coursed through his veins kept him upright.
“Leon.” You dryly got out as you sat up on the table. You repeated his name but he didn’t even glance in your direction. 
“Leon? Jesus Christ. Look, she already-.” The man spoke and Leon recognized the voice immediately from the voice message. Leon’s eyes darkened with rage as he looked at this pathetic excuse of a man. 
Busy. 
“Where is her phone?” Leon asked as he roughly grabbed the man by his shirt collar, “Where is her damn phone?” 
“Here, here! Take it!” The man shook as he pulled the phone out of his pocket and handed it to Leon. Leon snatched it from his hand before pushing the man roughly to the ground. Leon towered over him as the man shook, Leon’s unbridled rage causing the bar to grow freezing cold. 
“Stay away from her.” Leon turned from the man and his gaze softened only slightly as it landed on you. Your eyes locked with his for only a moment before he avoided your gaze and approached you. His hand found your arm as he helped you off of the table. He wrapped an arm around your waist as the crowd parted like the Red Sea. All eyes were on the both of you as you walked out of the bar. 
“I can take it from here.” You said agitated as you tried to push yourself away from Leon. 
“I don’t care. I’m taking you home.” Leon said as he unlocked his car. That aggression he felt still resting on the tip of his tongue. He opens the passenger door and with a deep sigh you get in his car. After he just opened the door you took a deep breath before running your hand through your hair. A bottomless pit settled in your stomach before you sat back against the seat. 
“Seatbelt.” You heard him say as he got in the car, pulling you out of your thoughts. You compiled as he started to drive out of the parking lot and turned right out of the parking lot. 
You raise an eyebrow before looking at him and confusingly confront him, “You were supposed to turn left.” 
“I said I’m taking you home. I know where I’m going.” Leon glared ahead and for once wished you wouldn’t say a damn word. He was heated. 
“How did you know where I was?” 
“Can you not ask questions right now?” 
“No, because you’re freaking me out. First, you know where to find me and second, you hook a right when you know my place is left. Where are we going?” You stated in a matter of fact tone as you crossed your arms. You could tell he was angry, but you didn’t care because you were angry too. You never disclosed your location to him, he nearly started a fight, and he continued to treat you like you were something more to him regardless of the fact that he made it clear that you would never be anything more. 
“My place. It’s closer and I’m too tired to drive further than what I have too.” He admitted as he sent you a quick glance. 
“Your place?” You rolled your eyes, “You’re telling me that your place is closer and we’ve spent all this time at mine?” 
“Yeah.” Leon sighed with irritation. 
“How is that fair? How is it fair that you know all this shit about me, but I know nothing about you?” You asked flat out and annoyed. Normally after going an extended time without seeing Leon you didn’t ask any questions, you just tended to him until he was ready to talk. He loved that about you, you never pushed him. Leon grunted knowing that it was the alcohol and a mix of unconfronted emotions made you bold. 
“We talked about this-.”
“Yeah, we did, but you tracking my location wasn’t in that conversation.” Leon took his eyes off the road as the car came to a stop at a stoplight and he looked at you. He opened his mouth to speak, to defend himself, but you cut him off. “Cut the shit, I know it’s a bugged phone. I had it looked at and your sudden appearance tonight only proved it.” 
“It’s only bugged for your protection.” Leon got out through gritted teeth. 
“My protection? What the fuck are you even talking about? If anything it’s so you can keep your whores straight and away from your wife.” You spit at him with venom. You knew Leon wasn’t the type of guy to run around town like that, he was a one woman type of guy. You were just angry and confused at why you would be enough to protect but not enough to be his. 
Leon’s face turned up in pained disgust and he went to say something, but the blaring of a car horn called his attention back to the road and a green light. You huffed as you turned away from him and he continued to drive onward to his place. 
The rest of the car ride was silent, giving you time to feel bad about what you said and how you said it. Your face falling and your anger simmering out as your eyes felt heavy with the weight of fresh tears threatening to spill. You refused to cry though as you sniffed and he pulled into his driveway.
A two story house that was too big for just him, but old enough for you to believe that it was a house that was left to him in some family members' will. Or he could’ve bought it himself easily with the way you’ve seen him treat money; like it was something that grew on trees. He was a complete and utter mystery to you and it drove you insane that you could still fall for someone who you knew so little about. At this point you were more mad at yourself than you were at him. You knew of his interests and hobbies, his likes and dislikes, you saw his heart; but you didn’t have a clue about his day to day life. It was like he existed only to you and no one else. No criminal record, no traceable family; he seemed to have nothing. All you had were snippets of an article about Raccoon City that left you with more questions than answers. 
“Don’t worry, the wife’s not home.” Leon muttered through gritted teeth and you winced as he got out of the car. You went and got out of the car alongside him as you followed closely behind him. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” He opened the front door and you followed him in, shutting and locking it behind you. Your body now shaking as his focus remained straight ahead. He was so cold and you knew you deserved it. “I know that’s not you. I just…” you hesitated as you could feel your throat beginning to clog, knowing that your voice was going to waver and your next words were going to come out broken if you didn’t get a grip. 
“I’ve got a guest room, but I haven’t found time to clean it out so there is a bunch of junk and shit in there. You can take my bed and I’ll take the guest room.” Your heart broke, thinking he didn’t even want to be near you and you couldn’t blame him.
“I think we should call this off.” Your voice still broke as you said it and Leon quickly turned to you. His gaze softened immediately as soon as he saw your big glassy doe eyes. He stood frozen as his heart shattered. He was losing you and it wasn’t to some unforeseen force, he did this. His refusal to let you in completely had pushed you away. 
Leon was a fighter, it was his job. He stood up for what was right, he fought for people who couldn’t fight for themselves, he fought so people who weren’t fighters never had too. But did he ever fight for his own selfish desires? At the end of the day was he willing to fight for the first good thing he’s had in his life for a while? At the bar he was ready. He was ready to push his exhaustion aside and fight the object that stood between him and you; but now? Fighting you, the person he desired the most. 
“Look, it’s not anything personal…I just…this isn’t working for me.” You nervously blabbered out, the silence killing you. You took a deep breath as your hands found your hips, “I mean the Pretty Women aspect of it was fun, I had fun. I don’t know, I guess, I mean…” you stumbled over your own words. 
“Alright.” He said and you looked away from him as your arms wrapped around yourself trying to comfort yourself. The floodgates of your tears threatening to spill as your eyes darted around the room. 
“Okay. Good. I’ll sleep on the couch and grab a cab and be gone before the sun comes up.” You voice low as you head to the couch but Leon catches you by your elbow. The sudden connection of your bare skin against the palm of his hand sends a chill up his spine.
“I want to start again. I want to make it right.” He said as he slowly looked at you, his own eyes glassy. You study his face now and how exhausted he looked. “I’ll tell you everything. Let me start over. Let me make it right.” Your brows knitted together as you relaxed slightly and your other hand cupped his cheek. Tears fell from your eyes as you stifled a pained groan. “Please.” He begged and how could you say no?
Your lips found him in a hesitant kiss that he returned with desperation. The moment your lips sparked against his he was ready to fight again. His hand trailed down your arm and before it found your waist. He pulled you close to him as your arms wrapped around his neck. Sweet desperate kisses turned into feverishly hungry ones.
“Need you.” He admitted softly against your lips; hoping that you understood. Hoping that the feeling was returned. Hoping that right now that he said enough, that those two words meant enough. As you melted against him he knew that you understood. 
For the first time in a long time Leon was ready to give his all to something besides work. 
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queen-of-deans-booty · 6 months
Text
Destined For Greatness
Pairing: Destiel x Daughter!Reader
Word Count: ~1.5k
Warnings: minor angst, michael posessing dean, destiel fluff at the end
Request by anon: Hey can i request a imagine about being a Tribrid (Half angel, half demon, half witch) who Team Free Will  takes under their wing and being like a daughter to Dean and Castiel (they can be married) and defend them when Michael, Lucifer, or Raphael attacks them? 
Summary: Michael took your dad away from you and it's up to you and Jack to ger him back in one piece.
Square Filled: michael!dean (2023) for @heavenandhellbingo
Author’s Note: i appreciate any and all comments! <3
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x
You, your dad, Sam, and Jack are gathered around the war room trying to come up with a plan of attack on Michael. You’re nervous to say the least because you’ve never faced someone as powerful as Michael, but he has someone you love dearly. He trapped Dean inside his own mind while taking over his body and doing God only knows what with it. Taking down humanity is one thing but going after someone you love is a whole different ballpark.
“I still think we need a plan B,” Castiel sighs.
“Plan A is going to work. I’ve been practicing all month,” you state.
“Dean can get hurt.”
“Dad, I promise no harm is going to come to Dad. Do you really think I’d put him in danger?”
Castiel stares into your bright teal eyes, a mixture of Dean’s forest green and Castiel’s electric blue. He reaches out and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“No.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about.”
“Okay, I trust you.” Castiel turns to the other two men and sighs. “What’s the plan?”
“We know where he’s hiding, right? Y/N will use her magic to make sure he’s alone. She will pretend to be the scared daughter who just wants her dad back.” Sam turns to you with determination. He’s hellbent on getting his brother back one way or another, and that’s through you. “As soon as his guard is down, you’ll pull Michael from Dean. Once he’s out, Cas and I will get Dean to safety, and that’s when Jack comes in. His power combined with yours should be enough to take him down. He’ll only be a white light since he won’t have enough time to find another vessel.”
“Are you sure she’s gonna be safe?” Castiel asks.
“Dad, I can do this. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think I could handle it.”
It’s true. You’re the first of your species, a demon/angel/witch tribrid. You’re always discovering new abilities, always showing a new side to yourself, and you’re doing it all alone. Since you’re the first and only of your species, you have no one to turn to if you have any questions. This journey of self-discovery has been done through trial and error, and there have been a lot of errors. 
Not this time. This time, you will not fail. Your dad’s life depends on it.
You gather what you need and head out with the three men to the warehouse you know Michael is in. He’s been capturing monsters to make them hybrids of his own creation, but none of them have survived his experiements. He wants to create an army that will rule over humanity, but it’s time you put an end to it.
You walk into the warehouse alone and into the back room where Michael is. His back is turned to you when you enter but you know he knows you’re here because he stiffens up. He wipes the blood from a large blade and you see someone lying dead on the ground by his feet. You change your demeanor to that of a scared child rather than someone who is all powerful.
“I’m assuming you didn’t come alone,” he says and turns to face you.
“They don’t know I’m here. They wouldn’t have let me come otherwise.” Michael nods once in agreement. “I just want to speak to my dad, please.”
“Sorry, kid, no can do.”
“You have to understand where I’m coming from. He’s my dad. You took him away from me without letting me say goodbye,” you cry.
“I’m only going to tell you this once because I’m feeling a little generous. Your daddy is gone. He’s not coming back. Now, I’ve kept him alive for this long but I can easly kill him and keep the body. If you don’t want that to happen, I suggest you leave.”
This scared act isn’t going to work. You have to do something else or you’re going to put your dad in more harm than not.
“Fine, I’ll leave. Just please tell him I love him.”
“Sure,” Michael rolls his eyes.
You turn to leave but Michael’s eyes don’t leave you. He’s not going to relax until he knows you’re gone. Instead of doing that, you gather every bit of strength inside of you to take down Michael. You turn to Michael with magic in your eyes and at your fingertips.
“I changed my mind. I’m not leaving here without my dad.”
You blast him back with your magic but it doesn’t really effect Michael in the way he thinks. Instead of dissipating, your magic gets sucked back into you like a vaccum. With it is Michael’s true form. He tries to fight it but the combined powers of demon, angel, and witch is enough to pull Michael completely from your dad. Dean falls to the ground, completely weak physically and mentally.
“No, stop!” Dean cries out but doesn’t have the strength to stop his daughter.
Sam and Castiel enter the back room from the side and rush over to Dean to get him to safety. Castiel can try and fight Michael, but you and Jack are more powerful than he can ever dream of being. This has to be done by the both of you. Michael’s true form spikes angrily as it tries to find another vessel to use, but you keep him suspended into the air with your powers. Jack walks in behind you and blasts Michael with his own power, rendering Michael useless.
Michael tries to fight back against both your powers but is having a hard time doing so. He becomes so frustrated and angry that he sends a sharp screech right at you. You release your hold on him and cover your ears as you scream out in pain. Even covering your ears isn’t enough to escape the shrill of his voice. 
With you out of the way, Michael blasts you and Jack back into the wall behind you, and he quickly makes his escape to find another vessel for the time being. He’s going to be back once he’s more prepared to fight you and Jack. Dean, Sam, and Cas come back into the room and run over to you and Jack with concern written across their faces. Sam checks Jack over while both your dads comfort you.
“Are you okay?” Castiel asks worriedly.
“Yeah, I just have a headache. Whatever he did messed with my mind,” you whimper in pain. “I’m okay, though. It worked. I got Dad back.”
“This was completely reckless. You shouldn’t have gone in there like that,” Dean scowls.
“Hey, we can pick this up when we get back home. Right now, we need to get the hell out of here,” Sam says.
“He’s right. We need to go,” Castiel says.
Dean scoops you into his arms and carries you back out to the car. The ride home was spent relaxing and gaining your strength back. Michael is very powerful and if you have any shot at beating him, you’re going to need to hone your powers and become stronger mentally. Still, by the time you got home, you’re almost asleep from how tired it made you. Dean takes you to your room to tuck you in despite you being almost eighteen.
“Stay with me?” you mumble when he goes to leave.
“Sure,” he chuckles. The hard talk can come tomorrow once you’ve fully rested. The only thing that matters now is that you’re safe and back in his arms. He won’t ever let anything happen to you, not after your mom died on his watch. Dean watches your eyes flit back and forth under the lid and he wonders what you could be dreaming about. Someone knocks on the door once and Dean looks up to see his husband at the doorway. “There’s room for one more.”
Castiel walks in and gets into bed, careful not to wake you.
“I was really scared,” Castiel confesses.
“I wasn’t,” Dean whispers back. “I knew I was gonna be okay because I have you and Y/N to watch over me.”
Castiel knows how hard it is for Dean to talk about his feelings, so this is a big step. It’s only because Sam isn’t in the room, and you’re asleep so you won’t hear it either. Castiel meets Dean halfway and kisses him slowly but lovingly. It’s moments like this that makes what they do worth it. Dean pulls away from his husband and looks down at his daughter once more.
“She’s going to be very powerful one day.”
“She got it from her mother.” Your mom had been possessed by a demon and an angel while being a powerful witch which is why you’re a tribrid. “She’s destined for greatness, and we’re both going to be here to witness it.”
Castiel and Dean decide to stay in bed with you to comfort you until the morning.
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Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)
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my-autism-adhd-blog · 21 days
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is it ok for me to hate being autistic, even though i have low support needs? sorry, long rant ahead! i’ve got a lot on my mind
so im a teen who was diagnosed with autism only last year, so im still kinda new to this. over time i realized that i really hate a lot of my audhd traits. i feel like i can’t complain tho, cause i’m getting help for my issues, but i still hate that they’re there in the first place. i hate how i can’t learn in school, because i get so easily overstimulated or unfocused and because of that i have to spend time in the guidance, and i love my counsellor don’t get me wrong, but i wish that i didn’t need to recharge after only 4 hours of school. i wish i could be like my peers who can keep going for the whole day, they don’t miss important discussions, they don’t miss spending time with their friends. i wish i could spend time with my family without at some point hating their voices and thinking of ripping my baby sister’s throat out which i know is bad, and i hate that my brain goes to those thoughts so easily. and nobody around me even understands, they call people autistic as an insult and my friends don’t see why my autism is such a big deal to me but it is. it’s something that’s made my whole life worse. i hate that when i was a kid, i would get meltdowns so easily that my parents would shout at me in public, my peers would laugh at me, and my friends would only stay with me out of pity when really they were talking shit about me behind my back. i just wish i wasn’t autistic. and i hate that i just have to deal with it, because frankly even with my school being farther ahead than most in accommodations it still doesn’t feel like enough. idk, i just wish things was easier.
Hi there,
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. But I can’t dictate what you feel and why you should feel it. I think it’s somewhat normal for self hatred, but I could be totally wrong.
Maybe my followers can provide insights on this, surely some have gone, or are going through a similar situation.
I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your question. But I appreciate the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️
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ghosts-of-love · 7 months
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My thoughts about the Captain (and especially the scenes in episode 5) under the cut. Not spoiler-free, obviously. it's also...over 1000 words
I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the way his story was handled. I’ve never been a Havers girlie and to an extent I’m still not, for reasons I would probably have to explain in a different post. I’ve always known the Captain loved Havers, but I will admit that I did always think it was quite one-sided and, given what we were shown in Redding Weddy, I had previously thought that the Captain didn’t know he loved Havers until after his death.
I didn’t mind being proven wrong about that. There was always the chance that we would be given more information about the Captain’s life that would make me rethink things. I suppose I would now see Redding Weddy less as the Captain realising his feelings for Havers too late, and more him coming to terms with it on another level. Or even just realising that you don’t have to bury everything, some emotions and memories can be brought to the forefront and considered in a healthy way.
I still didn’t get the impression that they were ever together. I think there’s a whole depth to the relationship that we were never privy to. A lot unsaid between them and the audience but also between each other. More could always be revealed in the Ghosts Book that’s coming out soon though.
There could have been mutual feelings and love and even an actual romantic relationship there but I personally believe that the raw desperation in the Captain fighting his way into the event shows that they were not in contact (eg. writing letters to each other) in the way that two people in a secret relationship might have been.
I think that they were something that ‘could have been’. They were each other’s ‘what ifs’. If it weren’t war time, if Havers (sorry, Anthony) hadn’t gone to the front, if it weren’t quite literally illegal.
Or maybe it wasn’t even mutual. I find it hard to parse Havers’ expression. His ‘I know’ isn’t even an agreement or a confession, so much as it is an acknowledgment that he understands the Captain’s feelings, even if they’re not reciprocated.
And the Captain says ‘I had to find you’. It was a desire to know he’s alive. To know he survived. He may as well have said “I had to see you in the flesh”.
I don’t think they were together back then. I think they could have both wanted to be. I think they could have ended up together in the future if the Captain hadn’t died. If he had just waited and found a way to reach out to him a different way.
I didn’t have any problems with any of that bit actually. I thought it was beautifully acted by Ben – I could feel everything so deeply. The panic of it all. The desperation. The deep yearning to get closer to Havers, however possible.
My one gripe (which is perhaps becoming less of a gripe as time passes, but might resurface when I rewatch) was actually with what happened afterwards – the apparent lack of reaction to the story by the ghosts. Or at least, the lack of time dedicated to their reactions. He didn’t say the words aloud, and neither did they.
I flip-flop between being annoyed and thinking it works, somehow. I suppose we get to fill in the gaps ourselves – there’s no, ‘he wouldn’t have said it like that’ arguments because we don’t know what he said, we just know the bare bones of what he revealed.
And they all knew anyway.
I enjoyed (you get what I mean) the mirroring of of his stuttering in season 4 ‘I – I -’. Maybe there wasn’t anything to merit sharing with the group then because he lost his nerve but also because he knew they all knew, even if he couldn’t say it aloud. And with Havers – he can’t get the words out. That doesn’t matter. Havers knew too.
It would have been disappointing to me if they’d joked or said ‘we knew’. It would have detracted from the importance, I think. I would have felt the same if they’d fumbled around to say something he didn’t actually need to hear. For example. I don’t think he actually needed anyone to tell him that ‘it’s okay to be gay’. He’s known this for years by this point, since Sam and Claire’s wedding.
But what did he need to hear?
The man who survived the war but saw no action, who sneaked into a ‘decorated officer’s only’ celebration, who crawled through a window, who stole someone’s medals – just to find, not even necessarily talk to the man he loves – the man who died of a heart attack after the war was won.
He needed to hear that he’s brave. And that’s what he’s told, and by Fanny no less (I don’t have the power to unpack all of the meanings behind that; their friendship, her previous attitudes, her husband). I don’t think anything else they could have said would have sat right with me. Considering it was a group setting, I think it was done under the right conditions – i.e. he wasn’t put on the spot like in season 4, he made the decision to say something himself, he didn’t want to move on still regretting, still believing he wasn’t brave, still thinking he’d done something terrible. I think them telling him he was brave – and all being in agreement, all letting him get his story out with no interruptions too, unlike with Thomas, Kitty, Humphrey talking about their deaths/Kitty’s ball – demonstrated a level of attention and respect they don’t normally give to each other too.
I just wish there had been a bit more. Just something. But I can’t even figure out what it is that I wanted them to say in addition, that’s the funny thing!
I suppose I had also hoped that Alison might be there when he finally admitted something about his life/sexuality. She was the one who introduced him to the idea that homosexuality is legal now and specifically welcome in Button House, after all. I think he deserved to feel that she was proud of him. But maybe she was the one who gave him the strength in season 4 to know he wanted to wait until he was ready.
But also, the knowledge that Ben has had this planned in his head from the beginning comforts me, as does the fact that he has always tried to handle the Captain’s story/arc with respect and dignity (as much as these ghosts are ever given, you know?).
Those are my thoughts, slightly untangled but still not exactly coherent. I’d love to hear what you all think too!
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spellbound-willow · 6 months
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An under-utilized Horror subgenre:
Fae Horror
There’s so many ways to do it! So many aspects of fae that make for solid horror concepts.
Being taken away, coming back wrong, being replaced by something else, transforming into something, the cold indifference of nature, getting tricked or manipulated, holes in the ground, feeling like you’re being watched, time moving faster while you’re gone, getting lost in the woods, games, riddles, myths and fate
There’s not a lot of examples of fae horror but here are some I have seen starting from overt fae stuff to objectively not fae but my personal interpretations
- Pan’s Labyrinth – the most obvious, I think they actually use the term fairy. You even see the Court.
- The Hole in the Ground – the title kind of solidified my point. Nature, holes in the ground, changeling horror
- Coraline – come on, the Beldam is totally an unseelie. She takes children, and she loves to imitate real life, trick people and play games
- The Midnight House – I can’t really explain this one without spoiling the whole movie, if you know you know. Basically the house and the reason for the house.
- Hellraiser – the most controversial on this list but the riddles, puzzles, pain and pleasure, interdimensional beings beyond our understanding, you see what I’m saying right?
- Over the Garden Wall – not technically horror but it is very spooky and fae, especially closer to the end. Another world, lost in the woods, things aren’t as they seem, The Beast loves to trick people, talking animals, Adelaide of the Pasture, and one of the main antagonists isn’t even a character, it’s the indifference of nature
- Annihilation – the strange dimension, the body horror (especially the flowers scene), nature warping, the rainbows everywhere, the doubles, time warps, coming back wrong, being replaced. I think it’s a totally valid interpretation
Please add more if you can think of any! I only listed ones I have personally seen, movies I’ve only heard of before didn’t make the list but if you have recommendations or personal interpretations please share!
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moonlightdancer26 · 6 months
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can you show me where in the books it implies/says that sirius was abused? /gen I honestly don't remember, all I recall is him saying his mother didn't like that he was in gryffindor and not a blood purist etc and they fought often bc of it.
Allow me:

Kreacher bowed again and said, “Whatever Master says,” then muttered furiously, “Master is not fit to wipe slime from his mother’s boots, oh my poor Mistress, what would she say if she saw Kreacher serving him, how she hated him, what a disappointment he was —” (OOTP, Chapter 6) 
  
“Leave?” Sirius smiled bitterly and ran a hand through his long, unkempt hair. “Because I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal . . . my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them . . . that’s him.”
“He was younger than me,” said Sirius, “and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded.” (OOTP Chapter 6) (Being consistently reminded that your younger brother is so much better than you because he’s a pureblood supremacist? Ouch)


“It was my father’s,” said Sirius, throwing the ring into the sack. “Kreacher wasn’t quite as devoted to him as to my mother, but I still caught him snogging a pair of my father’s old trousers last week.” (OOTP Chapter 4) 

“He’s [Kreacher] been alone too long,” said Sirius, “taking mad orders from my mother’s portrait and talking to himself, but he was always a foul little —” (Sirius about Kreacher, OOTP Chapter 6) 

 “I don’t know,” said Sirius, “I haven’t seen anyone from the Order all weekend, they’re all busy. It’s just been Kreacher and me here . . .” 
There was a definite note of bitterness in Sirius’s voice. (OOTP Chapter 14) 

Hasn’t anyone told you? This was my parents’ house,” said Sirius. “But I’m the last Black left, so it’s mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore for headquarters — about the only useful thing I’ve been able to do.” 
Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded. (Chapter 5)

Sirius heaved another great sigh, cast a dark look at the tapestry, and he and Harry went to join the others. (Chapter 6) 

“I don’t like being back here,” he said, staring across the drawing room. “I never thought I’d be stuck in this house again.” (Sirius, OOTP Chapter 6)

I mentioned Sirius’s mental state and bitterness a lot here because I don’t have a doubt that being stuck in his childhood home where he was clearly very “mistreated” made it much harder for him. He showed blatant signs of alcoholism, depression, and PTSD. Many people brush this off as him “being moody that he’s being quarantined and therefore acting out in childish and frustrating ways,” which is true, but I think it’s seriously (no pun intended) disregarding of what he was going through. This happens to be the book where Sirius annoys me the absolute most, and while I don’t think having gone through something like that justifies your later behaviour; I really try to understand and sympathise with what he went through and how he acted because of it. He spent a majority of his life being trapped: being trapped in his parents’ house as a kid/teen (where he later ran away), being framed and wrongfully sent to Azkaban for over a decade (where he escaped), escaping Azkaban only to be forced to stay at his parents’ home, and then having the only time he left the house resulting in getting murdered in front of his godson. 😀
Anyway, seeing people brush off the blatant emotional and mental abuse he went through simply because it “wasn’t physical” (abuse comes in many forms, just because he wasn’t abused in “that way” doesn’t mean he wasn’t abused in “this way”) or because they don’t like him is extremely disgusting. Especially considering that I not only went through something extremely similar with my mother when I was a kid, but because the Snapedom has to constantly ask of Snape antis to merely not dismiss the fact that Snape was abused. You cannot criticise the Marauders fandom for doing things like that and simultaneously doing the same thing to the characters you hate. Double standards as a whole infuriate me, no matter which ���side” of the fandom I’m on. If you have a rule, stick with it.
All of the quotes I’ve mentioned are from Order of the Phoenix, I just added the chapters. I’ve had these saved in Notes in case I needed to whip out receipts for arguments. But thank you for your question, Nonnie, I’ve been meaning to talk about this.
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clownblr · 9 months
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I wrote a Whole Response to this ask and then I was like oh I wanna browse clown tumblr a bit so I went to save it as a draft and TUMBLR made it come up RED and deleted my whoole thing. So the ask box and the drafts on the blog get eaten up into tumblr’s bottomless gullet. Save me, friends :0( [sad honking noises]
BUT!! Thank you so so much for the ask anon, I got so excited!! :03
You all know parties, pierrot, and scares, but HERE are some clown breeds for YOU that you might not have known about!! (Maybe some of my personal favs hehe)
Porcelains are a favorite of mine- maybe because I care for one myself!!! I’ve seen a lot of pictures of them on my dash, but no one really talking about the breed itself. I think it’s pretty important to do so since they’re not a beginner breed, mostly due to their fragility. They’re very prone to cracking :,0( They evolved from clayface clowns, and their porcelain skin was believe to have been evolved to protect them, like a bird’s egg would- so it’s very good at evenly distributing force, but certain things can cause it to crack.
They enjoy the finer things in life- frills and shiny objects, pastries and sweets- Pinkee has been particularly fond of tea parties recently…. <3 They’re usually very small and dainty little things!! They’re also commonly mixed with other clown breeds such as parties or Pierrot!! Pinkee says hello!!
Rodeos are a breed of clown that I don’t think gets enough love, especially because they’re so so interesting!! Not many people care for them in the home- which I understand, since it’s a bit difficult to reproduce their natural environment. They’re used to warmth, having originated from the desert, and you know.., bull fights are a little difficult to just whip out in your backyard. They’re a very daring, energetic, and charming breed though! Some of my favs <3
Acrobats!!! Ough!! /pos!! They’re definitely not a breed I see on tumblr a lot, in comparison to their working human counterparts for which they were named. Different varieties/subspecies have popped up all over the globe, which I think is really cool!! They tend to parallel the humans performing the tricks they love :)) which I think is really sweet.. <3 They require a looooot of space, which is why they’re not as common domestically- they need room and equipment to swing and leap around. Their unique behaviors are what make them some of my favorites!!
Jesters have been making a comeback, as evident from my little friend Pinkee. They’re a living underdog story, really! They originate from the court jester, which was a breed that was believed to have gone extinct by the 21st century, due to the loss of their habitat and the way they evolved into different modern breeds of clown. But following the discovery of an isolated colony, clown husbandry enthusiasts worldwide have been working to spread this newer, more modern form of this breed that is more reminiscent of the court jester!! Court jesters themselves are very interesting to me, I always have some hope they’re not actually extinct,,
Teddies are, well- very similar to teddy bears, and come in a lot of different aesthetic varieties!! Usually very frilly and fluffy <33 They’re very good with kids and are overall just an extremely pleasant breed and wonderful for families! Very low maintenance as well- though they still need love and attention just like any other clown!!! They’re super common- sometimes you’ll see a teddy and you might not even know it’s a living clown, which has spooked me at the shelter,,,,,,,,Many Times,,,,,,,, I love them dearly though, they’re such cute little things! They love pastries and fluffier foods like cotton candy!
And those are some of my favs/breeds I think deserve more love!!!!! I can write up some more if you need, I was just very excited to write abt these guys!!!
Sending love! Please update us on that master post if you can!
-Mod Grace :0)
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The Adventures of Lee and Gracie - BONES AND ALL : part 1
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The Adventures of Lee and Gracie - BONES AND ALL : part 1
Warnings and such: mentions of bl00d, !death, death of family member, alcohol/drunkenness ,illusions to caññabilism...i think that's it for this part?
A/N: you can't tell me Timothée doesn't radiate this kind of chaotic energy 24/7! He was absolutely perfect for this movie! Thank you for coming to my TedTalk!
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My mother was what she called an “eater,” because I guess calling her a cannibal was wrong. There was a difference, apparently, of which the latter she was not. You could have fooled me. I’ve known for a while, probably my whole life, but to me, that was normal. Normal for her anyway. I had never met another “eater,” at least not that I knew of, but would I know if I had anyway? 
She never partook in the activity in the house, but more often than not she came home before she was ready to, covered in blood. Admittedly, it freaked me out to realize how quickly that stopped bothering me…but of course, not as much as discovering what she was doing a few times a month. What bothered me the most is that she came home, cleaned herself up, and carried on with life as if nothing happened. As I got older, I became more wary of her, something that I think she picked up on all too quickly. It drove a wedge in our once perfect relationship, but I wouldn’t consider it a loss.
The idea toyed in her head, for a while- she thought I was a “late bloomer” or that I just needed to “find the feeling,” but whatever it was that caused her to be this way, it must not have been passed along to me. If that’s how someone became an “eater.” It made me wonder where it all started, but then again, maybe I don’t want to know. All I do know is that she left when I was 18, and I hadn’t seen or heard from her since. My dad was long gone and I had no siblings. Maybe my dad knew, and maybe I wasn’t even supposed to happen…oh well, no sense in dreading about it now. I had no complaints. No regrets.
I knew the signs of an eater, or at least the ones that made my mother stand out in a crowd, but I still wasn’t sure if I would be able to pick one out of a line up unless they had blood all over their face. I resolved to just be by myself, to always watch my back and never put a lot of trust in anyone. It was all easy, really. I wasn’t allowed to have friends as a child, understandably so, and because of that I was fine to be by myself. I didn’t know any different.
As my 20th birthday approached, the body of a woman surfaced near the lake. It was a lot to take in, in a small town, but I knew. I knew that it was my mother, and I knew that it wasn’t an animal who had found her body before some local fishermen. There was another eater, somewhere, and suddenly I didn’t feel safe. What if they came after me? I am half my mother, eater or not. I packed a bag and left with a full tank of gas and all the money I had been saving for almost 6 years. I didn’t dare look back. 
That was almost a year ago now. My 21st birthday was at the end of the summer and I had already driven across the country and back once. I was stuck somewhere between not wanting to settle down somewhere, and being too afraid to. I had no family elsewhere, at least not that I knew of, so there wasn’t anything grounding me to one specific spot. The life of a nomad was starting to grow on me! I found myself in Indiana, at the dumpiest ‘grocery store’ I had ever been in, which was saying a lot because I’ve seen some pretty deplorable places on my travels. 
“What kind of store runs out of lunchables?!”
There was a very intoxicated man wandering the store, drinking a 6 pack of cheap beer that I can only assume he hadn’t paid for. The store attendants didn’t even bat an eyelash at him, apparently this was a regular thing. I was at the end of the aisle he had just strolled down, looking at the bare bone essentials that were strewed about the shelves.
“Hey, I’m talking to you, you dumb bitch-”
A woman with a small child had asked to get by him on her way to the checkout lines. I wasn’t the only one watching him- a boy, about my age, had been following him around the store for a while now. I couldn’t tell if they were together or not, but the younger one seemed highly irritated with the antics.
“Hey!” He called, standing behind me. “You’re out of control, buddy.” Okay, so maybe they aren’t together. 
“You with the store or something?”
“No, I’m not with the store. But I’m going to escort you out of it.”
“Oh you are?” 
“Watch this,” the younger boy whispered as he stepped around me. 
He had a shit eating grin plastered to his face, as if he was waiting for this moment. He turned to the drunk man, smiled at him and without an ounce of hesitation, headbutted him. Hard. I could hear it break his nose. Blood began to seep down his face before he realized what had happened. The drunk threw an otherwise poorly calculated swing, but missed by a mile or more.
“Outside, you fucker!”
“You want to go outside? We can go outside! Let’s go outside!”
“Who the fuck do you think you are, you little asshole!”
“Is this how you spend your Saturdays? Harassing innocent people after you spend the morning jerking off…”
Their voices trailed off as the door closed behind them. I watched them chase each other around the parking lot for a moment before stepping out of view and behind the store. That was the most excitement I had seen in a long time! 
I made my purchases and used the microwave behind the counter to makeshift something for dinner. What I wouldn’t give for a real kitchen! It was nearly dark when I finally left, and there was no sign of the two men from earlier. I could only hope they sorted out their differences and everyone left without incident. 
I was crossing the parking lot to my truck when I noticed something someone, crawling out the window frame of an abandoned building a few yards away. It was the younger guy from earlier. His shirt was torn and he looked at me before doubling over. I couldn’t tell what he was doing, but could hear the distinct crinkle of a plastic water bottle and as he approached, I could see it- blood! A lot of fucking blood. I knew instantly what he was; his face and chest was smeared the same way I had seen my mother’s many times before. Despite his best efforts to apparently clean himself, the evidence was everywhere. I didn’t know rather to run or scream or-
“He’s back there, if you want to..” He nodded back towards the building, walking past me without batting an eyelash in my direction. Maybe they only “ate” once? Do they get full? They have to, right?
“No! No I don’t- I’m not a…No!” He stopped and looked me up and down. 
“Could have fooled me. You smell like one.”
“One what?” I hesitated, trying to keep the distance between us. 
“You tell me. You seem to know.”
“I’m not.”
“So you’ve said.”
“What do you mean ‘I smell like one?’”
“An eater. Eaters can smell other eaters. Usually.”
“Well, you’re wrong. I’m not a…a eater.” 
“Okay. Well, sorry.” He smiled, and I could see his blood stained teeth. Somehow, even in this moment, I wasn’t phased. “I’m gonna just…I’m gonna go now.” 
There was something about him…something that I couldn’t put a finger on, or take my eyes off of. He seemed…different? I only had my mother to compare him to, but there was still something. I watched him circle the parking lot, staring at the keys in his hand. Whatever he was trying to find must not have belonged to him. Wait was he-
“You can’t just steal his truck!” I laughed nervously, watching him climb in and start digging around. 
“What good is it to him now?” He turned the key over and tried to start it, groaning. “There’s no gas in it anyway.” 
“I’m sorry I don’t-”
“Will you drive me somewhere?”
“No! I don’t even know you!”
He jumped out of the truck, a piece of paper and a few dollars in his hand. He smiled, wiping his spare hand on his pant leg before extending it to me.
“Sorry, I’m Lee.”
“Lee?”
“Lee. No last name.” I looked at him for a minute, his smile never fading.
“Grace. Or Gracie.” 
“First and last?” He chuckled and whatever it was about him made me smile, even if I didn’t want to. ‘Don’t trust people’ I reminded myself.
“Look,” he continued. “You could have convinced me you were an eater, like I said, you smell like one. And if you’re really not, hey that's cool too! But eaters don’t eat eaters, so I’ll treat you like one if you’ll just drive me…” he looked at the paper and spun around in a small circle before pointing in some opposite direction. “If you’ll drive me like 15 minutes that way? Please?”
I tried to weigh my options, the risks I was taking by giving in, but there it was again, that thing that was different about him. Whatever it is, it was telling me to just give him the ride. I could leave him there and never have to see him again if the next 15 minutes gave me any inclination that Lee couldn’t be trusted. 
“Okay,” I sighed, pointing him towards my own truck a few spots over. “But if you try to-”
“Cross my heart I won't!”
We hopped in and he gave me directions. He was quiet, domestic really…not something I would have expected from one of them. He just sat there, like nothing had happened. I couldn’t help but eye him the whole way, and he definitely knew, but didn’t say anything. It was almost a comforting silence, something I don’t recall ever experiencing in my life before now. 
Eventually, we made it. The house was dilapidated, not cared for in the slightest- it smelled of weed and alcohol from the driveway. A bachelor pad if I had ever seen one before. The lights were off, though I may have died of shock if anyone else was living there. 
“Thank you,” Lee smiled, hopping out of the car and coming over to my side. “Unless, I mean, do you want to come in?” He said it so calmly, like it was his own house! 
“I umm…” 
“I promised I wouldn’t bite, remember!”
That feeling returned, consuming my body. It’s fine, just go with him. Something inside me was screaming, I didn’t know if it was my brain, my heart, or my stomach, but none of them were arguing with whichever one was screaming. Maybe this is how I die! Only one way to find out…
I sighed, hopping out of the truck and following him into the house. The inside was somehow worse than the outside- I didn’t even think that was possible. Lee, however, seemed to be in love! He instantly started digging though the man’s collection of music, staring wildly at the raunchy posters on the wall. 
Lee let out an excited noise when he pulled a record from the crate, throwing it on the player. The music blared horribly loud, causing both of us to jump out of our skins.
“Fuck!” He yelled, turning it down quickly. The smile soon returned to his face and he began jumping around the room, singing and dancing erratically.
It was almost euphoric to watch. So I did- I just watched him. I watched him for a few minutes, my eyes following him as he jumped off the couch, landing in front of a very dirty mirror. He leaned in close, singing to his reflection until he caught sight of the state he was in. There was still blood smeared down his chin and throat, the rest was hidden behind his t-shirt. The smile dropped from his face and in its place…embarrassment?
“I’m gonna go take a shower.” I nodded and watched as he disappeared down the hallway. 
Last chance to leave.
No, I think I’m going to stay. 
Lee emerged a while later and asked if I wanted a turn in the bathroom. Again, this seemed so normal to him- he acted like this was his house. He must do this every time he…eats. A real shower sounded too inviting, no matter how gross the bathroom may be. 
With the endless supply of hot water, I’m not sure how long I was in there. A small part of me almost expected the boy to be gone when I was finished, but he wasn’t. I followed the sound of the television and found him sitting in front of it, laughing along to whatever way playing, a cigarette in hand. Domestic. 
I cleared my throat, not knowing what else to do. 
“Oh, hey!” He jumped up. “Do you want to watch something? I think there’s a few more channels on here…”
“No, that's okay. I might actually go to bed…if you don’t mind?”
“Not at all! Take the bed, I’ll sleep out here.” He pointed towards the back of the house. “It's just back there…on the left.”
I felt like I was supposed to say something, to thank him, maybe? But whatever it was, I couldn’t find it. I just looked at him, probably for too long. He began to rock back and forth on the balls of his heels, looking around the room and smiling awkwardly everytime his eyes met mine. 
“Goodnight, Lee.” I finally mumbled, stifling a yawn.
“Night, Gracie!” I heard him plop back down on the floor as I headed towards the bedroom.
Weirdest. Day. Ever.
******
I hardly slept last night. Part of me was scared I’d wake up to Lee standing over me, or that the guy whose house we were in was going to come back, or that a neighbor called the cops after seeing us come in or-
*knock* *knock* 
“Gracie, you awake?”
I sat up boltright. “Yeah, it’s open.”
No, you idiot! That’s not what he asked!
Lee opened the door awkwardly and stuck an arm through the crack, offering me a cup of coffee. Domestic!
“I’m not sure how you take it, but your only option is black or Irish, but you know, that’s still black.” I chuckled, opening the door further and taking the cup from him. His head was turned, not daring to look in the room. 
“Thank you.” 
“Mhmm.” 
There was an awkward silence. Lee still hadn't turned around. 
“Can I ask you something?” I finally found the courage to speak.
“Shoot.”
“This is normal for you, isn’t it?” 
“Was that the question, or a statement?”
I groaned, walking back over to the bed. Lee hesitantly peered around the corner, not daring to enter the room any further. 
“Sorry,” He chuckled nervously, taking a sip of coffee. “But yeah, I guess this is normal? Are you referring to the whole,” He made an exaggerated chewing motion, teeth clicking together audibly. “Thing or?”
“That. Yes. But I assumed that was normal for you. It was normal for my mother, anyway. But I was referring to the whole ‘making yourself at home’ type of thing.”
“Your mother?!” I just looked at him, waiting for an answer to the second part of the question- the actual question. “Umm. I mean, everyone’s got their own rules, I guess. I don’t see any harm in staying a night or two. It’s not like he’s going to need it.” 
We sat silently, sipping shitty coffee and stealing glances at each other. The comfortable silence settling over us once again.
“If you’re not from around here, where are you from? And where are you going?”
“Kentucky,” he smiled, looking like he was reminiscing. “Got family there, sort of...but I’m not sure where I’m going…I don’t ever really know. I just…go. What about you?”
“I’m from New York-”
“Holy shit!”
“Yeah. But there’s nothing left there for me so I’m making my way back across the country.” I shrugged, the idea didn’t seem so crazy to me as it once did. 
“I’m sorry, back?!”
“I’ve been on the road for almost a year.” 
“That sounds awesome! You’ll have to tell me about it…sometime.” The smile on his face faded slightly as he stared at the contents of the mug in his hand.
Is this where we were supposed to part ways? It didn’t feel right to get back in the truck and leave him, but taking him with me? That sounded just as weird. I’ve never been conflicted over the…wellbeing? Of another person? Is that what this was called? 
Hypothetically, I thought to myself. What would be the harm in asking him to come along? What was stopping me from dumping him on the side of the road somewhere if he pissed me off or tried to bite or whatever else could possibly happen. He wasn’t tied to anywhere either, not really anyway. He had been doing things his way for who knows how long, clearly he could take care of himself. He seemed to be doing a better job at it than me, actually. And the odds of ever running into him again? There was something about him that wasn’t…scary. Maybe it was the pink hair! 
“I’ll tell you.” I smiled, finishing the coffee. “You drive. I’ll talk.” 
“What?”
“Unless you have other plans-”
“No!” Lee said, rather quickly. “Are, are you offering to take me with you?” He sounded less sure of himself as the sentence dragged on.
“IF,” I barked, standing up and sticking a pinky in his face. “You keep your promise!”
“Cross my heart.” He smiled, drawing an ‘X’ over his chest before hooking his pinky with mine. 
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kimbap-r0ll · 1 year
Note
Hey again. Saw the burn out yeah I kinda predicted it😭 there were so many You were gonna need a little break so I. Please take one! Lol I’m bouta be contradicting rn but For a little request how about a HXH fluff? I’ve been having a Rough day/week and need some fluff in my life. And a serious hug. As you know I love feitan. But you can do kurapika. Meruem ( not sure if you write him ) Illumi, shal or Franklin depending if you write meruem. Also the fluff could be anything from head to toe.💜
Hi, thank you for the ask! Yes there was a lot, like way more than I would've wanted of just dorm leaders x [insert different franchise character]!s/os that I wasn't really feeling it anymore. I might get to those at some point again, but as of now no. I've never written for Meruem before, and these might just be more platonic since I don't see him having romantic feelings for anyone haha. Hope your week gets better too!
Kurapika, Meruem, Illumi, Shalnark, Franklin helping you get through a tough week
Kurapika
You two should get a break together honestly with how busy the two of you are haha
But on a serious note, he will try to support you but it may just be through words of "you need to take a break" or getting you a cup of tea. With how fixated he is on his own tasks it's unlikely he'll do a lot but know that he wants to help you
If you two are away from each other (ie you're not on traveling with him on his path of revenge) he might give you calls from time to time. This is really rare though since he's...well...refusing to pick up his phone from anyone
If you happen to meet him before his whole "revenge is good" path, he would've given you hugs when you two were alone. Lots of supportive words, making sure you're doing well. He might just pick you up from whatever you're doing to get you to sleep since you've been working so hard
Overall he's like a mom friend but it only goes so far with how busy he is with his own work. If you do happen to see a box of your favorite snacks on your desk when he's gone, know that it's from him and there's likely a little note on it too telling you he's there for you
Meruem
How did you get on his good side? Who knows, maybe you're a Chimera ant that works well with the rest of the royal guards, or he's taken interest in you similar to his situation with Komugi. Whatever it is, he doesn't really understand the concept of "stress"
He sees you with dark circles, running around the halls of the palace Meruem stole took and he can sense you're tense all over. Finally, getting tired of seeing you look almost lifeless, he stops you and tells you to go get some rest
Meruem's not the type of person to hear objections, and if you try to he might threaten to cut your limbs off so you can't move from whatever you'll be resting on :/. He's trying, he just needs to learn a bit more on how he's supposed to be supportive
Will ask a royal guard to keep an eye on you, most likely Pitou since the rest of them won't care about you if you're human (Pouf might kill you for all Meruem knows). Meruem will frequently visit you while you take breaks, making sure you're doing better than before. He won't hug you because he's scared of breaking you he doesn't see a point in it, but he will listen to whatever you have to say or get off your chest
Illumi
Similar to the two above, he's not really known to be that caring. However, seeing you not in the best shape you can be might worry him, especially if you're someone he considers close.
He might pick you up and knock you out just so you can get some sleep haha. But the most common thing you'll get from him is a really blunt "You look tired, stop what you're doing and take care of yourself." If you ask him for a hug, he won't really object but he won't show that he likes what he's doing either. Might end up squeezing you too tight and causing your ribcage to almost break :/
He's also the type to listen to you if you want to talk to him. He might be busy with something else while you vent, but he's listening.
Now if you happen to be stressed because of an individual, he might ask you who it is. Expect the person to suddenly die though. Illumi thinks that if the problem gets eradicated, then you'll feel better :/
He might not show that he cares for you that much, but know that he keeps an eye out for you. Usually before you even complain he's already spotted signs of stress from you and will try to get you feeling better
Shalnark
Though he's a member of the troupe, he's shockingly much better at giving you fluff than the rest of the people we've already talked about
He's going to give you hugs. He might just give you them out of the blue, saying that "hugs are healthy" even if you object to him. If you ask him for hugs he'll just open his arms and tell you he's totally fine with them
Lots of supportive words. He's a bit chatty so expect him to go on and on about how you need to take a break, how you're already doing well and he doesn't think you'll fail, etc. It's all really sweet coming from a guy that's also known to be part of a notorious group of thieves
He might not be the best listener, but he tries to when you want to vent for a bit. Just know that he's better at giving you words than accepting them, but nonetheless he's there for you
Overall I feel like he's the type to surprise you with sudden boosts of energy or support. He might also just pick you up from whatever you're doing to get you to rest haha
Franklin
He's sort of like a gentle giant. He won't push you to take breaks but will frequently check up on you and might bring you some snacks or drinks to get you feeling better
He's really good at listening. If you need to get something off your chest he'll sit down and listen to you. Also, you can trust him with your words, he's extremely good at keeping things private, so know that you're safe with him
If you want hugs, he might be a little hesitant at first because he doesn't want to accidentally hurt you, but he's super gentle and the hugs are really nice. He might pat you on the head sometimes too
I can imagine you falling asleep on him from time to time whenever you guys are just sitting together. He won't budge, and he tries to keep other troupe members from waking you up if they happen to walk by. He doesn't want you losing sleep because of him anyways
Overall he feels very therapeutic. Like a cozy sort of feeling you get when you're inside with a warm cup of tea in your hands while it snows outside.
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hazelsmirrorball · 5 months
Text
Rockstar Girlfriend VI. | Hazel Callahan
Rockstar! Hazel Callahan x Popstar! Reader
Summary: Hazel Callahan and Y/n L/n have to be in a pr relationship, but both of them can stand each other. 
Warnings: Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Angst, Fight (not physical) Not proof read. Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my main language. 
a/n: I’m back after a while!! Sorry for being MIA. I don't know how to feel about this but I'm really thankful for all the support. Lots of new things coming soon. love you guys.
part one. part two. part three. part four. part five.
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The tour was canceled. 
Everything Y/n had worked for went down the drain. Not only had she lost the tour she risked everything for, but she had lost her bandmates' trust. They were losing followers by the minute and receiving hate left and right. All that success she had gained because of Hazel was almost gone. 
The moment everyone found out about Hazel's outburst, the show was canceled with a blink of an eye. They could hear the cries and screams of fans outside. Y/n couldn’t bear to listen, she felt bad, guilty even. Management said that her band couldn’t perform because they were only the openers, so karma was biting her ass quickly.    
But after one show became two and then two became five, management canceled the whole tour, every single date. They claimed that they couldn’t do anything without Hazel, their star. Y/n tried to be positive that maybe Hazel was joking around and that she was going to come back but when management canceled the tour, her feet finally hit the floor. The tour was over before it even started. The hop of the wave of success both bands were having was cut short. The most anticipated tour of the year was canceled due to mental health issues from one of the band members. That was what got posted on the band's page and every news article. 
But Hazel made it her job for people to know that, that wasn’t the case. If the tour was canceled she wanted people to know the real reason, no more tricks, no more lies and no more fake love. Y/n felt her heart stop when her phone started to blow up with notifications and her eyes landed on a video Hazel had posted on instagram after being MIA for two weeks. 
That was when “Mean” was born. 
“Hi guys! I know I’ve been gone for a while and all of a sudden the tour got canceled. But I’m here to tell you guys that we are currently working to get your back running again. This time we decided it was best to get new openers. Anyways, on my little break I decided to write this song I really hope you guys enjoy!” Hazel said to the camera starting to strum her guitar. Y/n felt her heart drop every second that passed by. If she was already losing everything with a blink of an eye it wouldn’t surprise Y/n if what was left of her career ended just because of that song. 
hazel.callahan via instagram
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liked by bottomstheband, y/nnn, and others
hazel.callahan rehearsals for tour are the shit! I missed this a lot, can't wait for tour to start <3
view all 1,550 comments
hazelsbottoms she's backkkkkkkk
user101 mother is back, hope tour doesn't get cancelled this time.
pjandhazeparis sorry to disappoint but I'll be a groupie for life
bottomsupdates why is y/n lurking in the likes? hasn't she done enough
| ynloveshazel please leave y/n alone
| bottomsupdates she's the one lurking her comments
Hazel had uploaded an acoustic version of a song she had written through her break in an attempt for people to understand what she was going through. It was something new, different from the songs she was used to writing for herself and other people. The song quickly took the world by storm gaining everyone’s attention. Fans had caught up quickly with who the song was written for, making it their job to make Y/n’s life a living hell. Her band's account was barely existent by the minute and management was going insane.
Y/n couldn’t let things slide. She had three options, let her pr team do everything for her, clap back and deny the allegations, or attempt to do a song just like Hazel did. The thing was, Y/n was already used to Hazel’s constant help writing songs and honestly she kinda missed spending midnights with her writing songs. She missed how Hazel would slowly touch her skin in an attempt to get her attention or how she got lost in her blue eyes while she tried to explain the chorus of the song. Y/n missed Hazel. She hated herself for running things with her. Things were finally different, this time Y/n didn’t hate Hazel, Hazel just hated Y/n. 
She was going to make things right, possibly ending her career. But it was worth it. If Hazel heard the song, she could lose everything and she wouldn’t care. 
Y/n propped her camera hitting record while sitting in front of it, letting out a sigh. She slowly strummed the guitar she barely knew how to play but all she could think of was all the times Hazel had attempted to teach her how to play it.
“This song is for someone special in my life that I treated so badly. I know I fucked up and I wished I could go back to december, they day I met you and start all over”
y/n's instagram
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liked by bottomstheband, ynnnn, and others
y/nnn but if we loved again, I swear I’d love you right
comments have been deactivated
Y/nnn let out a sigh as she looked at her phone flooding with notifications. At least if she was gone for social media, she was certain Hazel had heard the song. Maybe she could get another chance or another life where they could get together with no mistakes.  Y/n’s thoughts got interrupted by a harsh knock on her door. She quickly walked towards it, ready to face her neighbor. But she felt her heart drop when she noticed the familiar blue eyes she had fallen in love with. Y/n’s eyes wandered all over her trying to tell if she was real or an act of her imagination due to the lack of sleep. But as the words slipped out of her mouth she knew it was all reality. 
“My guitar.” Hazel replied, playing with her feet. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her confused. 
“What do you mean, my guitar? How do you know where I live?” Y/n responded leaning against the doorframe trying to get a better look at Hazel. 
“My guitar. You have my lucky guitar, I saw it in the video you posted. Now, can you please give it back” 
“No.”
“What do you mean no? It’s mine, L/n.”
“You don’t speak to me, drop a diss track on my name and expect me to give you back you guitar” Y/n exclaimed while looking at Hazel with a surprised look on her face. 
“Are you insane? You do know that all of this is not my fault, right? I was willing to do anything for you but you preferred the fame over me. You fucked up your own career and you fucked up with me. Yet, I came here, to your apartment and you still want to act like the victim instead of saying your sorry. You know what stays with the stupid guitar. I don’t want it anyway. You want to play a game that I’m really tired of playing. I really don't understand why are you like this.” Hazel exclaimed loudly pulling on her hairs.
"I like you Hazel and I'm like this because I know I screwed up the only good thing in my life" Y/n said loudly leaving Hazel with her mouth wide open not knowing what say.
At least he got the chance he desperately needed.  
thank you for reading
previous part.
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aita-blorbos · 3 months
Note
AITA for bringing the girl I loved back from the dead without really thinking about how she’d feel about it?
There’s this girl I love. More than anything. She’s… my best friend. The most important person in the whole wide world. We grew up together, and for a long time she was the only friend I had. She’s amazing, beautiful, and I’d do almost anything for her.
Which is… maybe the problem, I’m starting to think?
You see, I got her killed. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident— the worst mistake I ever made. I… I wanted to get her a gift, and so I hunted down an ancient artifact that I felt was befitting of her, I thought it would be a grand gesture.
But I didn’t understand the forces I was messing with. That thing was evil. It slowly drove her mad, destroying her from the inside out. At first it wasn’t too bad— she was just overconfident, maybe a little mean, but it got worse and worse. She started doing very, vey bad things, culminating in her ruling over our country with an iron fist. She… hurt a lot of innocent people, and she even hurt me. Eventually it got so bad we had to…
Well, me and some new friends I made had to stop her. Permanently.
It’s been a long time since then, and I’ve made a lot of new friends, but I’ve never forgotten that girl: my best friend, the only person I ever loved. I’ve never forgotten the ways that I failed her or how I wished things could have been different.
That was why I was so ecstatic when I realized there was a way for me to meet the grim reaper, recently! I vowed I’d summon it, then bargain with it to reclaim her soul. I’d bring her back, and we’d finally have the happy ending we deserved.
And I WAS able to. Maybe not as easily as I hoped, but I was. And all I had to do was… well, uh…
Sacrifice half of my life span to give it to her, meaning I’ll definitely die young?
But that was a sacrifice I was willing to make! That part I don’t regret! I agreed. Readily.
But when she came back, she was…
Troubled.
The good news is her personality was back to normal— the grim reaper made sure of that, but when I explained what I’d done (NOT the deal, just that I’d revived her) and why she was alive, she… got mad?
She started screaming at me, tears in her eyes. She asked how I could seriously do something like that after “everything she did.” How I could “even bear to look at her after she became such a monster.”
And as she did, something sort of strange happened. Her body started to shift. You see, the girl I loved… she, um, stole a few bodies while she was in the throes of madness, and although she was initially herself when I brought her back, that didn’t last. Her body is constantly changing. Most of the time she’s something in between what she used to look like and who she was at the end of her life. A few friends of mine have theorized it’s because she isn’t really sure who she is anymore, and her body isn’t either.
She freaked out even more. She started to panic, asking “what I’d done to her.” I said I didn’t know. She ended up passing out.
Some friends of mine explained the situation to her— what had happened while she was gone and helped her calm down. The next time I saw her, she was less upset.
She apologized for her outburst, saying it seemed I had “suffered a lot because of her.” She said she didn’t mean to seem ungrateful— she was just scared and haunted by the things she’d done.
I told her it was okay and that we’d work through it together.
But things… haven’t gone swimmingly. We got run out of our home because the rest of our country hates us. She’s still upset about everything she did, especially to me. She won’t even let me call her by her name, saying that after what she did she “no longer deserves it.”
And her body keeps changing. Which is… really hard on her. Her appearance has always been important to her, and she hates how she looks. She says her old body is the body of an ugly, unlovable freak and that her newer body is the body of a sick and evil monster, and that it’s even worse being something in between.
No matter what she looks like on any given day, she hates it, and she’s even started hiding her face. She made us take down all the mirrors at the place we’ve been staying at and wears a mask all the time, saying she “can’t bear to look at herself, and doesn’t want anyone else to see her either.”
It breaks my heart. I still think she’s beautiful, no matter what she looks like, but she doesn’t believe me. She says I’m just saying that to make her feel better.
She… tries to be strong for me. We’re in a relationship now (we couldn’t be before— too many societal customs holding us back). She says she IS grateful for what I did… that she wants to give me the happy ending I deserve after everything I’ve been through, but…
Sometimes I hear her crying in her room at night when she thinks I’m not listening, and I wonder if I made the right decision. I remember the terror and anger she screamed at me with when she first came back and I feel sick to my stomach. She’s always saying these terrible things about herself. She has so much to grapple with. She never actually seems HAPPY.
And even worse, a few other friends of mine recently learned about what I did— the deal I made, that is, and they were very upset with me. They said I shouldn’t have done that— that they couldn’t believe I’d sacrificed my own life.
The girl I love still doesn’t know, but I know if she learned, it would destroy her, too. She’d probably hate herself and hate me even more than she already does. I’m really scared of her finding out.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I made the right decision anymore. I just wanted my friend back, but I’m starting to think I didn’t think about what SHE’D want at all. I didn’t even stop to think about how much guilt she’d have to deal with— all the things she’d have to process.
…Did I do something selfish? And if I did, how can I even begin to fix it?
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kreideprinzessin · 2 years
Text
🏵️ Sleeping with them (Part 2) 🏵️
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Characters: Childe, Dainsleif, Gorou, Kazuha, Yoimiya, Kokomi, Mona
Content: sfw, gn! reader, fluff
Note: My sleeping headcanons were one of the first things I ever wrote on this blog, and yet I continue to get notes on them, so… In celebration of them reaching 3.7k notes (and as a thank you to everyone who’s been supporting my work), I’ve decided to add a second part :)
Part 1 featuring Albedo, Diluc, Kaeya, Thoma, Venti, Xiao and Itto
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Childe
He moves around. A LOT. So you better expect to wake up with at least one limp thrown over you and most pillows lying on the floor each morning.
Also likes to cuddle a lot so he usually falls asleep tightly holding you in his arms
He's a massive blanket hogger, which can be a little problematic in the cold of Snezhnaya
Luckily, he himself is pretty warm, so you can just scoot closer to him and cuddle (And if you’re lucky, he’ll even pull you under the blanket at well)
Alternatively, you can try to take the blanket back, but be warned he can put up quite a fight. If you try to pull it from him, you usually just both end up lying on the floor
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Dainsleif
Definitely an insomniac. He doesn't fall asleep easily, but he's happy to stay next to to you while you sleep if his presence helps you
He'll tell you random stories whenever you can't sleep, his calm voice helping you calm down enough to fall asleep again
When he does fall asleep, he tends to talk in his sleep, but it's all so cryptic, you never understand what it's about
Often has really bad nightmares, so it's not uncommon for him to move around a lot or look really distressed, but you’ve learned over time that he tends to calm down when you stroke his hair or talk to him, even when it doesn’t fully wake him up
He's usually gone by the time you in the morning, but not without wake up preparing breakfast and leaving a note that he loves you
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Gorou
Want now your own life-sized teddy bear? Congrats, now you have one. Goren lets you cuddle him as much as you'd like.
Lets you scratch his ears because the sensation helps both of you unwind and fall asleep
Usually drapes his tail over you, almost like he's hugging you with it. Great when it's cold, but terrible during Summer because suddenly you have a whole layer of extra heat on top of you
There's often a lot on his mind, so he tends to be a bit antsy when settling in for the night, but once he calms down, he's out like a light within a few minutes
Sometimes lets out small growls in his sleep when he has bad dreams, but he usually just reaches out to pull you closer and all is good again
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Kazuha
He actually likes camping and sleeping under the stars a lot, so he’ll ask you to join him
Uses some of his clothes as a blanket for the both of you, so you don't get cold
Sometimes he likes to recite poetry while he tries to fall asleep. It helps him calm his thoughts a little
Wakes up easily because he's used to being on high alert from when he was on the run, but very quickly remembers that everything’s okay and he has nothing to worry about when he finds you peacefully slumbering next to him
He's usually awake when the sun rises, but likes spending these early morning hours enjoying the peaceful silence, holding you close and watching you for a while (It’s when he comes up with the best poems)
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Yoimiya
She's VERY chatty. But she doesn't really mind if you don't reply or even fall asleep, she just likes talking to you. She even think it’s kind of cute that you fall asleep to the sound of her voice so easily
Will gladly hold you in her arms, but is she also likes to play with your hair or fidgets around
No. 2 contender for “softest chest to sleep on", only rivaled by Kaeya. She's just soft and warm and Squishy. Perfect.
She's a VERY early riser and sadly not very quiet while getting ready, so expect to be woken up around sunrise
The good side of that is that the two of you get to watch countless beautiful sunrises together
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Kokomi
She's usually so tired, she falls asleep the moment her head hits the pillow; Doesn't matter if the Lights are on or it's loud outside, she’ll sleep like a rock
Sometimes her overall stress and exhaustion piles up and manifests in the form of nightmares. Then it's usually you who holds her close and helps her calm down enough to fall back asleep
She likes being held by you, it makes her feel calm and safe. She tends to feel much more well-rested when she got to sleep by your side
Likes holding your hand while falling asleep, as a reassurance that you’re right there with her
When she can’t fall asleep, she likes to listen to the sound of the ocean (Either by going to the sea and watch for a while or, if we’re talking about a modern au, likes to put on videos of the ocean)
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Mona
I feel like she’s not the cuddliest of people, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy having your presence next to her
She spends most of the night reading, so there’s always the gentle, flickering glow of a candle inside your room
While she’s asleep, Mona actually does tend to scoot closer to you, so if you’re lucky enough to wake up before her, you can enjoy at least a small bit of having her cuddled up in your arms
If you can’t sleep, she uses her magic to summon small glowing stars, etc. It’s like these sticky glow in the dark stars, but better
Likes to spend lazy mornings in bed with you, just chatting about random stuff for a while
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