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onceuponapuffin · 3 days

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Fanatic Intervention Part 14!!!

Happy Birthday to regular reader and commenter @ritz-writes !! :D

Here's the sculpture mentioned in the fic: https://noma.org/collection/history-of-the-conquest/

You'll notice that the poll at the bottom isn't anything suuuuper important. There's just some plot things that I want to get running in the next section, so I'm gonna be writing it up and posting it tomorrow. But I promise you that it's still an important choice to make (also idk what to pick so that means you all get to pick lol ).

Okay! Here we go! Back to New Orleans with The Anti-Apocalypse Crew!

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Now that you all were in the city, it only took Anathema the next morning to hone in on her signal. To Aziraphale's delight, it led you all to the sculpture garden at the New Orleans Museum of Art. To your delight, it led more specifically to a sculpture of a person riding a snail (to victory no doubt).

"I think this might be my favourite statue ever," You say aloud (because this author is assuming you would agree with her opinion). There is a person you don’t know standing in front of the statue. He gives a dissatisfied huff.

"It's called 'History of the Conquest,'" he tells you, despite not being asked, "The ever-slow and over-confident march of the entitled towards a future where they're in charge. Everyone else suffers while they promise glory and prosperity."

Your jaw drops open. This person looks like a 'surfer dude,' but is talking like someone who's spent most of their life in a cubicle changing 1s to 0s for 8 straight hours a day.

"WOW! That is BLEAK," is what finally comes out of your mouth. "Proper ray of sunshine, you are."

Okay, that sounded really British. You briefly wonder about the effect of spending so much time around Crowley and Aziraphale before Surfer Dude starts to laugh.

"I've seen a few things, human. Been 'round longer than you've been alive, will be long after you die. You're no more than a moth in my eyes."

"Wow," You can't help but repeat yourself, "Again, bleak." Also rude, but priorities.

"It is what it is," Surfer Dude replies. You shake your head and turn to Aziraphale and Crowley.

"You're up," You concede. You have no idea who this is, but he called you "human," and compared you to a moth. Whoever this person is, they’re probably the one Anathema’s had you looking for. He doesn’t look like Jesus, but maybe he will know where Jesus is. Either way, Anathema doesn’t get things wrong. If her work brought you to this person, then he’s the person you need to talk to.

That being said, whoever this is, he's the Ineffable Husbands' department and not yours. Sometimes you just gotta tap out and let the celestials handle their own kind. Now, this doesn't mean that you're not going to sit back and watch. Oh no, you want to see how this plays out.

"Can I have some popcorn?" You stage-whisper to Crowley as you pass him.

"Piss off," Crowley stage-whispers back. Despite his complaint, you notice a tiny Michael-Sheen smile on Aziraphale's face, and you return to Anathema, who looks surprised and is holding two small cartons of popcorn. You gratefully take one and have a seat on a convenient bench that is located conveniently within earshot. This is gonna be good.

"Hello," Aziraphale begins as he approaches, "I'm Aziraphale."

"Right," Surfer Dude says with a roll of his eyes, "The Angel of the Eastern Gate. I'm so honoured."

"Here I thought manners were important to angels," Crowley replies, sidling up next to Aziraphale. Surfer-Dude-Who-Is-Apparently-An-Angel takes in Crowley and raises an eyebrow.

"And here I thought demons didn't make a habit of hanging off angels' arms," Surfer Dude scoffs in in return.

Crowley snarls.

"Yes, well, each of us seems to be an anomaly in our own right," Aziraphale says with an appeasing smile, "This is Crowley. Might we have the pleasure of knowing your name?"

"No."

"Ah, right. Well, that is to your own discretion I suppose."

"Rude is what it is," sneers Crowley.

"Regardless, we've come to this garden with the guidance of our friend here, hoping to find, well, Jesus as it happens."

Surfer-Dude-Angel-Person throws his head back and laughs outright.

"You're looking for who now? JESUS? HA! Bit of soul-searching for you, is it? Spiritual journey? Pilgrimage to the Holy Land? You're in the wrong place for that!" He keeps laughing.

I mean, you get the laughter. It definitely sounds weird to a third party. Crazy even. But if this guy is an angel, then shouldn't it sound perfectly reasonable?

"Oi," Crowley interrupts, clearly impatient, "We're trying to save the world here. And since angels don't normally take holiday time, I'd think helping us might be in your best interest."

"You think you can stop the Second Coming? Ha! There isn't another technicality that you can throw around this time. This one's it. Enjoy the giant snail statues while they last, because it won't be for much longer."

"You know an awful lot," You call from the bench, "And you like to talk. So just get to the part about Jesus so we can leave you to be miserable on your own." You popcorn is already almost finished, and you frown into your carton. If only you could do miracles. You'd refill it yourself.

Surfer-Dude-Angel-Person laughs again.

"Yeah, okay, I like this one," he says, nudging a thumb in your direction. He turns away from Crowley and Aziraphale and strides towards you. Suddenly your popcorn carton is full again, so you look up. Okay, maybe he's not so bad. He reaches out a hand to you.

"Call me Sardis, Little Moth."

After a moment of hesitation, you shake his hand. He turns back to Crowley and Aziraphale.

"I can see why you've adopted this one," he says, then turns his attention to Anathema, paying no mind to the garbled protests coming from Crowley. "And since we're doing introductions...?"

"Anathema Device," says Anathema with a nod. She would probably shake his hand, but between her equipment and her popcorn, her hands are full.

"Lovely to meet you, Miss Anathema," Sardis nods at her before finally looking back at Aziraphale and Crowley. "You won't find Jesus here. But meet me for drinks later and I'll tell you what you need to know to find him."

"You're unnecessarily cryptic, Sardis," You say with a raised eyebrow and a mouth full of popcorn. He laughs again.

"Well, Little Moth," his eyes have a sparkle in them now as he looks at you, "Gotta keep myself entertained somehow."

Sardis insists on giving you all a tour of the sculpture garden, but refuses to say anything more about Jesus, or how he knows about Armageddon, or why he isn't in Heaven, or anything else that you actually WANT to talk about. He insists that such talk isn't for a quiet garden full of art. It isn't until he lays a cryptic finger beside his nose and winks at you that something clicks in your memory.

Remember, back before JK Rowling turned out to be an awful person, back when everyone read Harry Potter? EVERYONE, RIGHT?? Perhaps, dear Reader, you remember the chapter in book 5 where Hermione calls a meeting at The Hog's Head because it’s less crowded. Hermione figures the sparse crowd means that there are fewer people to see them together. Perhaps you also remember when, later in the book, this action comes back to bite them, and they are told very sternly that they should have met at the Three Broomsticks precisely BECAUSE it was busier. A busy pub meant they would have been less likely to be overheard.

Suddenly you look around the garden and notice the sparse, but very much there, collection of people. Just the right number of people that could listen to your conversation if they wanted to without you being any the wiser. Oh.

Oh.

Maybe the cryptic is a little bit necessary after all. He’s still overdoing it in your opinion, but whatever floats his goat.

You part ways after his tour, agreeing to meet at a local bar at 9pm. There’s enough time to go back to the hotel, freshen up, and get something to eat before you make your way there.

“Well,” Aziraphale says back at the hotel, “This Sardis certainly is a character.”

“I know the name from somewhere,” You trail off in thought. Where have you heard it before? Sardis…Tardis…Sardine….You’re not sure, but it rings a bell.

Anathema is already flipping through notebooks. Aziraphale has picked up his copy of the Bible, and Crowley is on his phone. You figure everyone else has it covered, and sure enough, it’s Crowley who finds it first. Google, no doubt.

“Ha! Found the sod! He’s in Revelation.”

“Oh!” You practically jump as recognition finally hits. “He’s one of the seven angels! The ones we didn’t think were here!”

“You didn’t think any of them were here?” Anathema asks, “Did you even check, or did you just assume?”

“Well Muriel said…” You go quiet, before clearing your throat and trying again. “We didn’t look into it far at all, no.”

“So exactly what work did you do before you called me?”

“Umm…….” You say.

“Nnngggh” Crowley adds.

“A great deal less than we thought at the time, apparently,” Aziraphale finally admits with a sigh.

“You are all really bad at saving the world.” Anathema shakes her head.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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schrodingers-slut · 3 months

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Debating abt starting a Mer au fic but I can’t decide on Marco/Ace or luffy/law

#lulaw #lawlu #marace #marco/ace #i say things #the secret third option is shinkami from mha but that’s so very niche #I know I want only one person to be human and they’re gonna be a scientist #there’s gonna be a lab setting for most of it I think #I just can’t decide who should be the mer #bc they’re gonna be pretty feral at least in the beginning #so if I do marace I think it’s gonna be Ace as the mer #if it’s lulaw I think it could actually go either way?#altho idk that luffy would be a good scientist bc I know the struggle of being absentminded in the biology field #like all love and everything but luffy would NOT put up with the bullshit they require for a degree #he does NOT have the attention span for all this busywork #I think law would be a v good feral mer with luffy being completely unshakable and unafraid #but I also like the idea of a very clingy mer luffy (who’s already kinda feral in canon) only cooperating with law #it’s gonna come down to who my nerd ass can comfortably assign a species to tbh #also if anyone has thoughts on this lmk i love outside input when I’m brainstorming

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skhardwarevers1 · 2 months

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anyways “just don’t leave me alone wondering where you are” Program and “I am stronger than you give me credit for” Vista

#Could also be Moon & Tera they’re both equally as sad #But I’m gonna just. Let that sink in.#Even in the early phases (Hansel/Gretel) they were designed specifically to be a stronger more logical machine and a human-esque creation #Vista was never meant to be as strong mentally or physically as Program could #but they pushed through anyway. The perceived imbalance between them will always get me #Vista/Gretel thought Koeia liked Program/Hansel more because he served a purpose #Program/Hansel thought Koeia liked Vista/Gretel more because they were like her “daughter”#And later Program ends up putting aside their differences to look out for them #“For the greater good” my ass! He cared about their well being more because he knew they were supposedly “weaker” than him #but realizing there wasn’t much of a difference between them in Koeia’s eyes made him feel compelled to shield them from some things #He figured that they were meant to be like siblings #he wanted to be their sibling #They wanted to too but they didn’t want to be inferior #They felt that Program was better than them in every way. It was him that made the project possible after all!#Clearly he /must/ be better right?#So they’re stuck in a weird spot of not having known each other for years and only perceiving what they thin other was compared to themself #And then being thrown into a situation where they’re trying to make it out together #Even as early as before the incident Program was looking out for Vista #Program felt threatened by Clay sometimes and would try to tell Vista to get out #Him attacking Clay was his way of trying to help #Which only fucks up Moon a little more when Procyon starts taking that same “helping” role and gets Clay…you know…speared….#And they feel so betrayed it sends them into an entire spiral of barely knowing who they are anymore #Anyways I didn’t meant to rant bye bye #S.K thinks #I hope this changes someone’s perception of Moon as a whole. Just one person I’ll be happy with that

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musclesandhammering · 11 months

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Spn season 4 au where most stuff is the same, but Cas is in her 1901 female vessel the whole time, and she realises from the beginning that Sam and Dean think she’s a demon so she just rolls with that and pretends to be one for like the whole season. Also, she hates Dean right off the bat and is only associating with him begrudgingly (he prob makes some gross sexual comment to her on first meeting and that’s what did it idk).

#so basically she just tells them she’s a boss demon as strong as Lilith and if they do what she says to help her kill Lil #then she’ll rip up Dean’s soul contract #and that’s the premise they’re all going on #but ofc cas is secretly testing him and trying to get them to stop seals from breaking and everything they just don’t know about any of that #and then in the last 3 or 4 eps of the season it’s revealed that angels exist and that she is one and that she’s been playing them or whatev #and then things progress from there #I want her to be a girl to emphasise the nonbinary angel thing but also bc I love Misha as a person #but he gets annoying sometimes and I’m tired of his face #I just want the hot actress from the 1901 thing PLS #and she still ends up with Meg in later seasons and it’s a hot sapphic relationship GOD #also I should point out the misogyny isn’t the ONLY reasons she hates dean #she just sees how he treats people and how he hates anything that isn’t human and how he’s selfish as hell and probably a republican #and so she already doesn’t like him before she meets him #she begged her superiors to put someone else on the righteous man job but they said no so what ya gonna do #I need a fic #castiel deserved better #Cas meta #castiel #spn meta #spn 4x01 #supernatural #lazarus rising #fem castiel #anti dean winchester #anti destiel

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prettyboykatsuki · 4 months

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YOU’VE GOT THE CURE (EVERYTHING I NEED) | B. KATSUKI.

✮ tags ; gn + afab!reader, soft dom!reader, sub!bakaugou, developing relationships, mutual pining and ambiguous relationships, anal play (m!recieving), dry orgasms, p in v, unprotected sex, 18+

✮ wc ; 6.7k

✮ a/n ; an anon comission from a beloved mutual im posting. also just dropping in to say hello

✮ synopsis ; katsuki is too fucking young to have erectile dysfunction, damn it.

“Hey.”

“Hm?”

The sound of your typing is especially loud in the empty office. It’s a Saturday and neither of you are supposed to be clocked in, but when duty calls - it’s up to the two of you to answer.

“...I’m going to tell you something. If you so much as fucking laugh I will kill you.”

You don’t look up from your screen.

“Well that’s one way to start a sentence. I’ll try not to laugh.”

Katsuki slams his hand on the desk.

“I’m being serious,” He says in a half-yell. You look up from the edge of your laptop unflinchingly with a displeased frown, shaking your head and throwing your hand up half-heartedly.

“Fine, fine - I promise I won’t laugh. Can you stop being all ominous? You sound like Tokoyami.”

“There’s something wrong with me,”

“Well yes,”

“Not like that,” He hisses, taking a deep breath. He leans forward with his elbows on the table, hands clasped seriously as he covers his face. “...I think my fucking..thing..is broken.”

There’s a loud noise like a muffled laugh but when Katsuki looks up your expression is completely blank. Your lips are pressed tight, eyes out of focus as you continue to type. Or pretend to. True to your word, you don’t laugh but Katsuki still wants to fucking kill you.

“Oh? What uhm,” You clear your throat, lips trembling as you try to keep yourself together. “What brought you to that conclusion?”

He nearly snaps his pen in half.

“What do you fucking think?!”

“Hey. Calm down. I’m doing my best not to laugh but you are not helping.”

This is the sort of thing Katsuki would normally take to his grave. Not only is it genuinely humiliating, it is the sort of painful personal detail he wouldn’t share with anyone even if he was fucking them. It wouldn’t matter either, that his dick isn’t working - if the other ways he relieved stress were.

He’s got an average sex drive, sometimes lower but a high libido. Getting off is a physical response to a bodily need. Like eating food or taking a nap. It’s just because it’s a physical need, it is noticeable when the need doesn’t get met. He is painfully aware of it. It’s been weeks and he thinks he’s starting to lose his mind. Worse? He’s exhausted every human option trying to fix the problem himself, save for going to the dick doctor. His testosterone levels are fine, he gets check-ups more regularly than the average person. Given his reputation is at stake, he’d rather not get prescribed anything. He’s bought ginseng and shitty vitamins and medicine he had to ship from overseas. Anything and everything.

Picking up viagra at the ripe age of twenty four would give him psychic damage he won’t recover from, this much Katsuki is sure of. So not that. But everything else, every natural remedy conceived - he’s tried.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” He says, pinching the bridge of his nose and willfully ignoring the sound of your strained huffing “I can’t fucking get….it up and I don’t know why. I’ve tried everything. Everything. I’m going crazy,”

“You know, it really says something about our relationship that you can confide to me about these kinds of problems. Like I’m so proud of us,”

“Shut up. I’m already miserable enough without wanting to fucking tell you - but the only other option is Shitty Hair and Izuku. I refuse to buy a single goddamn pill for it, and I know if I go to a doctor they’re gonna recommend it and—” He can’t finish the thought. It’s a little too sincere for the kind of conversation you’re having.

You’re a tactless person, so of course - you don’t bother with going along with the mood. Instead you smile like the evil bastard you are.

“And…?”

“You little—” He sighs rubbing his palms over his hands “And because I can trust you to be the least horrible option.”

“So you acknowledge my valiant efforts as your underling and assistant and know you’d be nowhere without me?”

“Shut up.”

“Aw, you’re sweet,” You say, promptly ignoring him “But yeah, I mean - no judgement. I would ask if you’ve had anything major happen but I unfortunately already know that’s not really the case.”

Yes. You, of all people, would know that no major changes have happened in Katsuki’s external life that would make it hard for his dick to function. You spend so much time together. Minus the time he spends working and catching villains in the world - you’re practically glued to his side. You’re in charge of all of his affairs, his schedule, all other personal things. Katsuki is naturally neurotic, but you handle all of it with grace and care. You know everything about him, which is why he is asking you about this problem.

(Does it border on unprofessional? Of course it does. But your relationship to each other degraded that border a long time ago. You’ve already slept in his bed and met all of his friends. And kissed him, but that’s irrelevant for now)

“I need solutions,” Katsuki offers, totally and utterly defeated by the situation at hand. “I’ve done everything. Taken every goddamn herb, done every meditation. Nothing is working. Nothing. I’m going to go fucking crazy.”

“Do you think just sleeping with someone would help? I know you don’t want to ask any of your friends, but maybe an escort? We can do it discreetly.”

“Fuck no. If it were that easy I would’ve done it.”

You pause. Katsuki can see the focus on your face and doesn’t know if it makes him feel better or worse. After an elongated period of silence, you perk up a little. You lock eyes with him and Katsuki briefly regrets bringing the whole conversation up in the first place.

“Hate to ask,” You say, though there’s not enough embarrassment on your face to make anything of that statement. “But uh, have you tried getting off with other things. Like something that isn’t your dick.”

He feels a flush creeping up his skin. “What the fuck are you talking about!”

“This is an important question,” You emphasize, an expression so alarmingly calm Katsuki doesn’t know if it makes him feel better or worse. “Cause if the answer is no, then that’s basically the best solution.”

“How the fuck is that the best solution? Are you insane?”

“Don’t be such a prude, Mr. Dynamight. You’ve bottomed before. It’s not that different. Have you ever tried it on your own?”

“I fucking hate you.” He replies, closing his eyes and frowning. “No I haven’t. Why the hell would I do something so embarrassing.”

“I know you’re super anal retentive - no pun intended there actually, but can you relax a little? It’s a good solution if nothing else is working. Your dick might be broken but an orgasm is an orgasm.”

“Remind me to never ask you for shit again,”

“I’d love that. Just keep me on payroll. Anyway,” You go back to typing. “I think that should be your first move,”

“How the—are you seriously telling me I should go fuck myself to solve my problem?”

You giggle. “Well it sounds bad when you put it like that. But I guess yeah. I can help pick out some sex toys, maybe, do a little research. If you don’t want to do it in your apartment, there might be a love hotel,”

A blush creeps up against the back of his neck. He covers his face with his hands.

“I’m begging you to shut the fuck up. There’s no,” Another wave of humiliation sets in “There’s no way this is how I’m going about this. Like. Fucking none.”

“The only other option is the good old fashioned doctors appointment, then. Which we can squeeze in over telehealth I think - since you got a check-up pretty recently. Want me to do that instead,”

“Fuck, no. I just,” He groans, feeling the stress make his eye twitch “Fuck.”

There’s a bit of silence and a little typing, like you’ve decided to leave him to his thoughts. Which he doesn’t blame you for, because all things fucking considered - there’s not really any more options. He’s a smart man and even he is fucking stumped. He’s going to have to give into something, eventually. He knows that, but it doesn’t make him feel any better.

As soon as he gets close to giving up, you sit up straighter and give a deep long sigh.

“Hey,” You scratch the side of your face awkwardly. “Do you want me to help you….?”

He stares at you. “With what.”

“With your dick being broken,”

“What?!”

“Don’t yell anymore, you’re giving me a headache,” You express, rubbing your temples. “Look. You need to get off, and you’re probably going to have to use your ass to do it. You don’t want to do it by yourself, and you don’t want to do it with a friend or escort. You’d prefer not going to the doctor's office or taking any pills. I’m offering - I’m not really your friend per se and you trust me enough to ask about it.”

He hates more than anything that you have a point.

“You can’t be fucking serious right now.”

“Hey. If you want your dick to stay broken for a while until you figure it out, do you. I’m just saying. Offering solutions is what you pay me for,”

He pulls back a little.

“...Are you fine with that?”

“Oh banging you? Is that what you’re worried about?” He winces at the direct and crass way you speak. “I like you plenty and you’ve got a pretty face. I’m down if you are,”

“I can’t believe I’m considering this.”

“Really? I totally can,” You snicker, and he really, really considers firing you. “It’s not the first time we’ve crossed boundaries with each other. Just consider it, okay? Before you actually blow a fuse.”

He leans back in his chair and groans.

“Fuck. Yeah, whatever.”

It’s another week before Katsuki takes you up on your offer.

Miraculous it took that long, given the amount he suffered stubbornly trying to fix the problem on his own. The lengths he went too are too embarrassing to even disclose or recount but it very quickly became clear that this was not an issue that was going to magically disappear - no matter how hard he tried.

Against his better judgment and after a long, cold shower trying to talk himself out of reality - Katsuki sent you a one line text.

Fine. Come Saturday.

The only thing he could say without dying of complete fucking shame. He’s grateful that’s the time you decided to have some tact.

(Not a lot, since the text back you sent was a peach emoji and a thumbs up. But whatever, he’ll take what he can get.)

It’s Saturday now, and he’s clean. All of him. He’s clean, and just wearing his boxers - sitting on his couch. You’ll be here very soon, and he can’t believe he’s saying this, but he’s nervous.

You did mention you were fine with it. He believes that because there’s been long standing tension between you two for god knows how long he’s not entirely blind too. You sleep at his place sometimes and spend all day with him, and then there was that one time you two kissed (very sober) during New Years. You don’t bring it up because you know he can’t deal with it. Yet he’s comforted by the fact you at least want it (because you’ve said so), and that you’re willing to do this despite the ambiguity in your relationship.

He knows that is inevitably going to come up today. But he really wants to fucking cum. And if it’s with you, then it’s fine. If his head was a little clearer, he would probably reject this whole thing based on his own emotional disparity. God fucking knows he is not in any place to deal with any of that. His heart barely gets by in the office and now you were going to fuck him.

Is he stupid?

Usually no, but because there’s a soft dick and tight balls where his brain used to be, currently yes. Everything put together, it’s a recipe for disaster. He considers telling you to fuck off and forget all this happens.

But then he thinks about the prospect of your hands and your voice and it’s enough to at least get his heart pumping, though his dick still refuses to cooperate.

More than anything, he does trust you. Shitty, smug little fucker you can be sometimes - there’s not a single person who goes out of their way for him. More than just your job, sometimes it feels like every little thing you do is for his sake. Everything you don’t ask of him, every secret you keep. You push him where he needs to go and encourage him to take risks in his career without imposing on him.

He blushes again, laying on his couch. He was nervous before but it’s not any better. Maybe he’s not so much of a dumbass as he is a total fucking masochistic. Is the level of overthinking the shit Izuku goes through? No wonder he’s like that all the time.

He almost jumps out of his skin when he hears the doorbell ring.

He answers the door shirtless and finds you on the other side. You have a cardboard box and the most nonchalant expression he’s ever seen. Normally it would annoy him, but right now he’s kind of comforted by it. You look at him with a flat smile.

“Hey sexy,” You say with no intonation. “Can I come in?”

He gives you a look of disdain. “Don’t ever say that shit to me again. But come in,”

You laugh quietly as he steps aside. You don’t have much with you other than the ominous box and your bag.

“You look like you’ve showered,” You say, taking your shoes off and putting on the house slippers he keeps for you. You don’t even look at him as you go towards his bedroom upstairs. He follows you with mild (faux) annoyance.“What a shame.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I wanted to get a little romantical and help you clean up but you’ve taken that from me. I’m a little hurt.”

“You’re such a dumbass. As if I’d let you do that,”

“Don’t be such a spoilsport. I’m gonna be playing in your ass today anyway.”

“Not the same thing.”

“Tomato, to-mah-to,” You say with a wave of your hands. When you finally get upstairs, you look over your shoulder. Katsuki gets the message quickly enough, helping you with the door. You give him a little smile and let yourself in, dropping the box on the edge of his king sized mattress.

He stands in the doorway for a short while, glancing at you before coming in. You put your bag somewhere on the floor before getting back to the box you’ve brought over. He can guess what’s in it, but he stands with you to open it anyways.

Predictably, the thing is full of sex toys. The first question he wants to ask is how much you spent on all of it, but he bites his tongue.

You look at him and do a little jazz hands gesture. “Tah-dah.”

He gives you a displeased look, but you’re well used to this sort of thing from him. There isn’t actually a whole lot in the box. The theatrics of you bring it upstairs were more likely just you fucking with him for the sake of the bit. He frowns. Typical.

You do have some new things in the box. A few expensive look gadgets, like a pair of quirk canceling handcuffs (decorated with leopard print fur) and something that looks like it goes around his neck. The sex toys that are in there are noticeably high quality. You definitely used his dime to pay for this.

“Handcuffs? Seriously?”

“You’re too much of a control freak and I like not having my hands blown to bits,” You say, shaking your head. “We should establish some ground rules and stuff now.”

“Haah? The fuck are you gonna do that we need rules.”

“I’m not just gonna jump scare you with dominating you. But that is what I’m doing. What we’re doing.” You give him a more serious look, that makes him feel more shy than he cares to admit. “You get what I’m saying? You have to trust me a little, okay?”

He makes a petulant face at you. “I already trust you dipshit,”

“This and that are different,” You say, shaking your head. He refrains from disagreeing with you a second time. They’re really not, but he has no desire to explain that. “I’m gonna touch you and be a little strict. Are you okay with that?”

“I don’t care.”

“That’s not an answer,”

He grits. “I want to cum. And I…trust you or whatever. I already agreed to this. If it’s pissing me off, I’ll just kick you offa me. Anyway, ‘s fine.”

“If you kick me I’m suing you for battery. We can have a safeword. I’m not going to duct tape your mouth and I’m gonna talk you through most of it - but just incase.” You say. He pauses, taken aback by how… delicately you’re treating him. He doesn’t know if he should be pissed about it or not. “Any word is fine. We can use the stoplight system too if you want.”

“Stoplight?”

“Red for stop, yellow for slow, green for go.”

“That’s fine. Easy to remember.”

“Okay,” You nod to yourself, tucking the promise to memory before looking at him more seriously. “Are you okay with intimacy?”

He stares at you.

“The fuck…?”

“Kissing and hand-holding and all that other stuff.”

“Is it necessary?”

“Strictly speaking, no,” You look at him knowingly this time. He’s taken aback, but you’re always like this. You look through him, not at him. “Are you okay with it?”

The implication is there. Do you want it? is the question that goes unasked. Too direct for his tastes. He feels heat spread through his body, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Yeah…’m fine with it.”

Your smile is more genuine this time around. He turns away from you a little.

“Okay. That’s everything out of the way. I’m gonna cuff your arms,” You say. It all feels a little sudden. He figures you’d mean business, but still - he’s not all that prepared. He’s had a week to mentally prepared but that feels like nothing compared to now. There’s an authority to the way you talk now he isn’t sure he’s going to get used too. “Repeat your safewords to me when you turn around.”

He frowns but listens. He puts his hands together in front of him, waiting for you to cuff him, shyness making him hot.

“Uh. Red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for go.”

“Good boy,” You say so smoothly it almost rolls off of him. The cuffs go around his wrists, and Katsuki can feel the familiar sensation of losing his quirk. Now it’s just the both of you. “I’m expecting a little pushback, but generally - you’re to listen to me. Clear?”

“God, fuck - yeah clear,” Katsuki says, feeling ticklish all of a sudden. “All this shitty foreplay is making me feel weird.”

You wrap your arm around his midriff in a sudden movement, making him twitch. He can feel your cheek pressed against his chest as your hands hover over his waistband. He takes in a sharp inhale.

“It’s good that you’re feeling anything.” You say, breath just barely above a whisper. “Gonna take this off,”

He just nods, silently. It’s still on soft, but something is happening in his gut at least. You help him take his boxers down. You’ve probably seen him naked before, more than once. You two being attached at the hip was no joke. This time there’s this lingering anticipation that’s there, and that changes things.

He steps out of his boxers. He’s naked and you’re clothed and his head feels like it’s spinning. Your hand guides him to the edge of the bed. He sits and watches you, but you don’t undress.

The first kiss (second kiss) that you exchange with Katsuki is pleasant. You bend down to do it. It’s a chaste way to meet his lips, weirdly soothing while his stomach is starting to tie in knots. It’s a little surprising how..comfortable it is. Your mouth is soft, your lips taste a little like chapstick and you smell nice. You pull away to kiss the corner of his mouth, trailing down his jaw.

Your thumbs draw over the shell of his ear, rubbing the lobe tender. You’re so different. The contrast in your normal personality is a little too much for him to reconcile with easily, but you brush over these things well enough. He looks away when you meet his eyes.

“Do you wanna lay down or kneel?”

His throat is tight. “...Don’t care.”

You laugh a little to yourself, another kiss. “Lay down then. It’d probably be easier if you put your ass up but knowing you, I doubt it.”

He blushes, annoyed that he’s so obviously predictable to you.

The sheets are soft where he lays. You don’t join him on the bed at first. He just waits there cuffed as you shuffle around for things - lubes and toys and pillows. When you do return to him, you pat his side and slide a pillow underneath his back. He quickly regrets laying down, because god the position is fucking exposing.

You get between his legs and settle there comfortably. A hand rests on his bare thigh, rubbing your thumb into smooth, muscled skin. His breath is hitched. You lean down and kiss his hip. Still no dice on the erection, but you don’t seem discouraged.

You flip the lube open and let it pour onto your fingertips. It’s pink lube. This is mildly irritating, but saying anything will feed into your satisfaction so Katsuki bites his tongue. He watches it as you warm it in your hands, patting his leg with your clean hand.

“Legs up,” You instruct. “And deep breath. Try not to tense.”

“Just goin’ for it, huh?”

You don’t reply to that, but you do smile.

It’s not his first rodeo. His second or third, but certainly not his first - but he’s never had it done for a reason like this. There was an exchange prior, that someone was putting something in him for their pleasure too. This isn’t for that. This is just for him, with your skilled hands and your oddly gentle tendencies that he doesn’t see any other time. That proves to be too much, makes his belly feel honeyed with lust.

The warm, thick sensation of lubed fingers presses against the tight rim of muscle. He breathes and unclenches. Tries not to think too hard about anything. He’s desperate, too desperate. At this point, it’s hard to be prideful. Your hands are noticeably daintier than the ones he’s had in him prior. It’s…weirdly nice. Makes the process easier somehow. He’s reminded that you’re just you, and that makes him more nervous.

“That’s it, baby,” You hum, so soft it’s startling. The way the blood starts to rush in that familiar way nearly makes him sick. Oh, fuck. No way. “Oh?”

No way. No fucking way. No way that’s what does him in.

You pause. He takes in a deep breath, ready to say anything to defend himself. Humiliation spreads through his whole body. He can feel how hard he’s starting to burn, like the blood in his body is struggling to keep up with the desire and pump of his heart. His chest and face start to flush a familiar rose as he grits his teeth and closes his eyes.

Weeks. Weeks and weeks of trying to figure this out. And it was you calling him baby, of all things, to get him at half-mast.

He’s too afraid to open his eyes, but forces himself too. He’s expecting a smug laugh or sarcastic jab but instead you just look surprised. You stare at him, unblinking. He’s so startled he stares back.

“Do you wanna…keep going?”

He gets hard. Fuck.

“S-shit,” He says, wishing he could cover his face with his hands properly. “Yeah,”

He can’t read your expression at all. Annoying. You don’t brush over it though - but you don’t force him to acknowledge it either. Maybe you’re just focused on the fact he finally has something to work with and don’t want to ruin it by making him talk about his feelings.

“Baby,” You say again, smooth and deliberate. There’s that twitch again, something pooling in his gut. He starts to feel nervous. You’re doing the same as before, stretching him and teasing the rim - getting him ready for something else. “You like bein’ my baby, Katsuki?”

He opens his mouth, only to close it again. He tries to choke some word about, telling you go fuck yourself - but he always ends up looking at your face. Your lashes on your cheek. Soft touches and even softer words. He stops knowing what he wants at some point.

“Ugh,” His voice grows thicker. “Don’t ask me that,”

(If he were more apt at honesty, he could admit to you that he just wants you. In whatever way. Sometimes you get like this, when you’re not screwing around - and you’re so good to him that it hurts. He likes your sarcasm and dryness.

But he likes too when you’re this sweet on him too - even if that feels shameful as fuck. That feels like it’s crossing so many more lines that you’re usual self. He knows that better than anyone. It is crossing more lines than usual.

He can’t help but think about it anyway.)

You laugh a little. His eyes go lidded as you continue to work him open. It’s a slow process. You circle his hole with your thumb each time before pushing in. You get one finger in without effort. The second one takes a little more. Another heaved breath and unclenching of his muscles.

He hasn’t felt the sensation of something entering him in so long. He can’t remember when the last time was. He’s antsy as you pump your fingers in and out, stretching him slowly. You find the bottle with your free hand, flicking it open with your teeth and pouring lube onto him directly before you keep going.

“That feel okay?” You mumbles

“Y-yeah. Feels fine,” He huffs, closing his eyes “Feels…good,”

“It’ll feel better soon. Just need to,” You curve the two fingers inside of him up. They search and search and search until—

There. Shit, there.

“Oh, shit,” He gasps, arching himself up as you rub it. You smile at him, pleased. “Fuck,”

You whistle. Katsuki can feel his cock throb properly now, up at full attention. You don’t touch him though. Your other hand grips his thigh for support as you focus your wrist and energy on curling your fingers against his prostate. His stomach flutters, waist tightening.

He’s been fucked before, damn it, but this is different. This is controlled and concentrated. Your fingers are perfect in their motion, pinpoint pleasure making him break out into a feverishness. You’re annoyingly good at this. His whole nervous system feels like it’s being unraveled so slowly. Pulled apart like the slices of a fruit, something for you to pick off and eat.

His head feels like it’s full of cotton, tongue too big for his mouth. Thoughts clouded and inhibition lowered. Real pleasure. He hasn’t felt that in what has to be more than a month now. It’s overwhelming. He’s sensitive and muddy and acting stupidly - he’s well aware. It’s an out of body experience being so unwound in general but this after everything is overstimulating.

God it feels good. How can anything feel this fucking good?

His breathing is erratic, heart pumping trying to keep up with it. Euphoric little pricks start at his abdomen and shoot off through his whole body. Like the splintering ends of a falling star.

He’s never had any orgasm that feels like it needs every muscle in his body to pump through him. It starts in his center and spreads out, melts him slowly. Usually the feeling of needing to cum is passing - just building pleasure until the orgasm hits and the high relaxes. His cock is leaking now with every little press along his insides. Little white dribbles of pre-cum sliding down his shift all the way down to his ass. He doesn’t want to think about how he looks, so he focuses on how it feels.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” His voice almost gives. “Shit, I’m gonna cum if you don’t slow down.”

“You can cum if you want to, Katsuki,” As if to drive the point home by massaging his inner thigh, neglecting his cock “Guess you’re pretty sensitive inside, hm? Gonna make you cum like a girl,”

His blush deepens..

“Haah, fuck - fuck I’m not sensitive. It’s just, hng. Been a while,”

“Don’t be a liar or I won’t let you cum,” You tease.

His eyes shoot wide, brows touching his hairline. “Fuck, d-don’t you dare. .”

You have the nerve to laugh at him. All things considered, maybe you’ve earned. “Just teasing. I’m awful but not that awful. “

“You’re not awful, fuck - just really,” He throws his head back against the sheets. “Need to cum, really need to—”

“Gonna cum without even touching your cock,” You say, half-amused. He shudders when the realization dawns on him.“You’re so sweet.”

He’s drooling. The strength goes out in his jaw as the feeling just builds and builds and builds. It goes on like it’ll never topple.

When it does, it doesn’t feel so much like a rope unsnapping as much as it feels like everything is being pulled from under him. Like the loss of gravity. His abdomen goes tight, the anticipation of it making it impossible to breathe. So close, so close, so close. His brain feels shut off, mindlessly humping along air to capitalize on everything. You’re encouraging only eggs him on further. He lets out a garbled little noise, choking. His voice rasps as electricity flows through him.

And he cums, there’s an orgasm - but nothing comes out. He cums so hard but his balls still feel so tight and full. It feels good but he’s still so fucking hard. It snaps him awake as his eyes open, and you’re staring at his cock a little awestruck.

“Oh, poor baby,” You say - not exactly mocking him but not exactly being kind either. Katsuki stares at you lost and hazy. “A dry orgasm after all of that. That’s just cruel.

He heaves. “What the….how am I supposed to?”

His dick aches. Fuck he almost wants to cry.

Your hand wraps around the base of his shaft in a sudden movement, making him hiss. He almost cusses you out. Sensitive, too sensitive. You put your thumb over the tip of his cock, more pre-cum leaking from it as you. You look mesmerized as it dribbles against your thumb

A long pause.

“Hey,” Your expression is serious. “Do you wanna fuck me?”

“What?”

“I’m really turned on right now, shit. I was planning on just helping you but, you didn’t cum yet and I’m...,” You’re looking at him so directly. His heart pounds. “You can say no,”

Of course he wants to fuck you. That’s what he wants to say. He doesn’t know where he’d find the fucking gall.

“....’s sensitive,” He says instead, flushing with embarrassment. You brighten up. “Just… give me a minute,”

“I will but first,” You rummage through your items and pull out a plug. His eyes widen. “It’ll feel good, I promise.”

He grumbles, but doesn’t reject you. You have some kind of miracle in you - so he feels more inclined to just give in to whatever you say. You look eager to do it. He doesn’t know how he feels about that.

It’s easy enough to put the plug in when he’s already all soft. He’s still sensitive and swollen. He hisses as the cool metal of the plug slides into softened hole, before settling. You give him a little tap on his which he glares at you for. Your only response is laughter.

There’s nothing to talk about while Katsuki watches you undress. You don’t take it all off - just your bottoms. It’s not that he has nothing on his mind. Just that… seeing you like that isn’t making him any less hard. He just… looks at you. Dumbly. You slide your shorts off in one go and your underwear along with it, and you’re all on display.

It’s pretty. Your pussy is really pretty. A horrifyingly embarrassing thing for him to think but it’s true. There’s a fine layer of hair on your mound that he likes. You’re dripping wet like you said you were, and that doesn’t make the situation any easier. You give him a little smug grin as you settle over his lap. He stares at you completely absent-minded, flushed.

“Like what you see?” You tease. He’s too struck to lie to you.

“Yeah,” He rasps. He’s out of his mind right now. He blames it on his dick. “I wish I could take these fuckin’ cuffs off.”

You look at him a little surprised. “You don’t like being cuffed and restrained?”

His ears feel hot, heat prickling up his skin. “Didn’t say that just,” He groans even trying to say it. “...Wanna touch you,”

He trails off. You use your hand to turn his face back to you, cupping his jaw as you bend forward to kiss him. He stares at you wide-eyed, making a noise of surprise. This kiss is different from all the others. Deeper, with more feeling. He gets into it, lifting his head to kiss you back.

When you pull away, you’re all fluttered lashes and adoration.

“After I drain your dick dry,” You say with a confidence that astounds him. “I’ll take them off and let you fuck me proper. But you have to tell me you want that, first. Do you wanna fuck me, baby?”

“Shit. Y-yeah,” He nods, feeling absolutely swept up in your pace.

“Say it.”

“I wanna fuck you, dammit,” He stutters through the last of his sentence. “Don’t make me beg, my dick is going to blow off if you keep torturing me.”

You laugh good naturedly and he feels a little proud that he made you laugh. The thought that he’s beyond whipped wipes the smile off his face completely, but whatever.

You pull back, sitting up as you examine his cock. You hold it up to you, weighing your options.

“I’m too horny to open myself up. I’m just gonna sit on it, ‘kay? Don’t buck your hips up,”

He opens his mouth to protest, but the words die in his mouth. The warm, wet heat of your cunt is immediately overstimulating. He groans so gutterally it startles him. Like it’s punched out of him. This is the only pressure his hard cock has gotten in months and it’s making him feel like he’s on fire.

You don’t give him a chance to cover. You lean over him as you maneuver his cock to your entrance with all disregard for his sanity. You hiss as the tip finds the spot. Fuck you’re wet. Your insides are so soft, so sticky - but you’re still so damn tight.

As you promised you go slowly. It doesn’t help him losing his mind. Worsened by the fact he can see you on top of him, all bated breaths and shaky moans. There must be a dull pain, but you only give him a smile as you get the first inch.

“You’re big,” You say breathlessly. His cock twitches to life. “Feels fucking good. Shit, that’s amazing. Haha, I can feel you so deep already.”

“Please stop talking, before I, haah,”

“Don’t cum yet,” You demand, lowering yourself further and further until you’ve bottomed out. Katsuki feels fucking crazy. “Let me get my fill first.”

“Ngh, easier said than fucking done,”

You just laugh. “Try your hardest, Mr. Hero. Show off your endurance, hm?”

He groans as you start to move. You really don’t regard him at all. You lean over him with one hand and use your other to tease and toy with your clit as you ride his cock with reckless abandon. The room is quick to fill with noise - the sound of skin slapping skin, the skin sticking where your hips meet his thighs.

You’re moaning in little broken waves. He’s not going to last if he listens to you anymore.

He’s biting the inside of his cheek trying not to cum, but you don’t make it easy. You’re riding him with so much force, using him. Your pussy is so tight it’s gripping him, sucking him dry. A vice-like grip, sticky and pliant over the hard curve of his cock. Everytime you bounce and throw your ass a little harder onto him, he can feel you. Feel himself and how deep he is. His hands tighten into fists where they’re cuffed in front of him.

He’s never been… used like this. But he doesn’t hate it the way you disregard him to chase your own pleasure while being so generally mindful of his own. You take and take and take but you make it feel so good.

It’s not helped by the plug in his ass, brushing against his prostate every single time you move. Makes him jolt. Every fiber and nerve in his body is wound as tight as it can possibly go. All of his strength, sanity, and focus he has left in him is trying not to cum, not to buck his hips up and rut into you like a stupid animal no matter how much he wants too.

He can feel you start to cum before you even tell him. Your walls pulse with need and your movement starts to get slower. The grip you have holding you up weakens slightly.

“Gonna cum. Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum,” You say with a pant. You open your eyes and look down on him “Cum with me, okay? Don’t hold it in,”

The words alone trigger a reaction. But with everything else, it’s like Katsuki explodes. Weeks worth of tension in his body, in his muscles, in his everything - burst at the seams. You cum and he follows you nearly in succession. The hard pulsing of your swollen cunt suck around him like a vice and he goes practically limp feeling his dick finally drain.

He cums and he can’t stop cumming. Pumps out so much white hot seed his head starts to cloud. He fucks up into you, sloppy and dumb. Chasing his high as he pours every ounce of his load into your pussy without so much as a modicum of shame. A month of dryness overwritten by the most intense orgasm he’s ever had in his fucking life. He doesn't know how long he stays there, painting your walls with his spend. It just goes on forever, longer than he’s ever experienced.

He has his eyes closed as he goes limp. Fucking hell.

It takes him a while to go soft again. When he finally does and returns to consciousness, he’s still nestled inside you. You give him a smile when his eyes finally open, leaning forward to kiss his hairline.

“Still all there?”

His voice is hoarse like he’s been screaming. “I feel like I fucking died,”

You giggle.

“So… no?”

“Kind of. Barely. What the fuck is up with you.” He says laying his head back, sweat dripping down his back. “Shit.”

“Did you like it?”

He gives you an unimpressed look as you laugh.

“I’m glad.” You say softly. You’re warm. God he’s down bad. “We have a lot to talk about later. You should take a little break for now.”

He nods in agreement to both things before pausing. “For now..?”

“You thought we were done?” You say with a tilted head. He gapes. “I thought you knew I was more ruthless than that.”

He groans.

“You’re insane.”

You chuckle, leaning down to kiss him.

“You love me.”

He lets you kiss him some more and doesn’t bother denying it.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou smut #bnha x reader #bnha smut #a.dr #writing tag

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greenglowinspooks · 8 months

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Alright, since it’s no longer 2 in the morning and my head’s a bit clearer, I present to you:

Liminal Riddler

So, not everyone in the DC fandom knows about this, and I’d bet that even less people in the Phandom do, but at one point, the Riddler had cancer. Had, past-tense, because he cured it. With the Lazarus pits.

And yeah, not everyone who gets dipped in the pits has to be liminal, but one would assume that the sudden replacement of a large number of malignant cells throughout the body is gonna do something.

The Riddler already acts quite a lot like a DP ghost in some interpretations anyways. He’s got a strict gimmick that he genuinely can’t part ways with, he’s campy and fun, he’s incredibly violent, etc.

Also, the way that he would react to this whole thing would be funny as hell.

Do I think the Riddler would really care if the GiW was after him? No. This is Gotham, the government is constantly going after him anyways.

Do I think he would care if Danny was being hunted down by the same people, and his parents were involved? Somewhat. He probably wouldn’t care about Danny specifically, at least not right away, but a young boy running terrified from his own parents would definitely bring back some bad memories, and he would probably give him a hand (if for no other reason than to get back to plotting crimes instead of dealing with childhood trauma).

Do I think the Riddler, whose entire thing is being smarter than everyone else, would care if the GiW somehow let slip that they thought he didn’t have human intelligence? That they believed him to be nothing but an echo of human life?

It’s not even a question. He would be the most insufferable person in Gotham within the hour. Genuinely nothing could stop him, especially not if Danny was helping jailbreak him from Arkham every time he got caught.

Almost every major road is closed. Every warehouse on the Docks is on fire. Somehow, they managed to color the clouds and smog a bright green.

The natives of Gotham would probably get those anti-ghost laws and acts overturned faster than the Justice League, if only to make the Riddler stop. His traps and games aren’t even lethal at this point (due to Danny’s insistence), but they’re so genuinely annoying that the general population is about to beat the GiW agents to death themselves just to get the Riddler to quit it already.

Also, I think that during this whirl of chaos, the Riddler would become quite fond of Danny.

He’s a bright young boy who’s very fond of wordplay, and inventive enough to keep up with him. Aside from the inevitable crisis of “oh god I’m becoming the bat,” he’d probably be happy to take on Danny as his protégé. Even if the boy won’t let him kill anyone (rude), he’s a terrifying getaway driver and can turn the both of them invisible and intangible, making Arkham escapes a breeze.

Hell, the Riddler would probably be willing to make a false identity for the two of them, just so he could get the boy proper schooling.

(Yes, he thinks that the entire education system is a sham and that he could do much better, but Danny wants to go into aerospace engineering, and the Riddler isn’t one to squander someone’s interest in learning.)

(Also, Echo and Query would find the whole thing hilarious)

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc prompt #dc x dp prompt #liminal riddler #most annoying mf alive meets entire government agency who decides to insult him within 5 minutes of meeting him #he would rip the GiW to shreds in a week tops #also he didn’t even ask to use the Lazarus pits. very important detail #he found out he was dying and immediately broke into the LOA to dunk himself into the glowing Mountain Dew #the gamer ghost bath water if you will #sometimes a family is a pedantic asshole and his two lesbian henchmen taking care of a half-dead teenager who’s a fan of puns

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biceratops7 · 10 months

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I’m gonna SCREAM-

We’ve already established as a fandom that Metatron could teach a masterclass on gas lighting, but I wanna talk about how he specifically validates the things Aziraphale cares for while simultaneously devaluing them under the surface.

First off, this moment?

Tells us everything we need to know. It sets the scene for exactly the games Metatron is playing. He makes Muriel feel important while openly insulting them (flat out calling them stupid), aka seamlessly reinforcing the idea that they’re less than to both them and anyone else in the room. He knows he can get away with this easily, he knows that Muriel, lonely, overlooked little Muriel, will be completely distracted by the fact that someone so important is taking an interest in them.

This is already horribly clever, but then later on you realize it’s doing even MORE heavy lifting when he appoints Muriel to run the bookshop. “See? What’s important to you is what’s important to me! I’ve graciously taken the time to ensure your beloved shop is looked after by Muriel. You know, the dim one!” …let’s suffice it to say he’s ensnared too birds with one net for this one, and that a pattern is already starting to arise.

So when Metatron says Gabriel came to Aziraphale because he’s a “natural leader” and “doesn’t just tell people what they wanna hear”? Yah he’s full of shit. Aziraphale struggles with his sense of purpose when he doesn’t have someone or something guiding him, and for thousands of years he’s been terrified of sharing his true feelings and opinions to 90% of people he’s known. Completely just trying to butter him up. Wanna know the real reason Gabriel seeks asylum with Aziraphale?

Exactly this. Gabriel just says so point blank. It’s not because Aziraphale is this person for him, it’s because despite knowing nothing, he has this instinct that Aziraphale is the only one who can possibly understand why Gabriel did what he did. He is, I mean as far as we know, the only other angel who has fallen in love. (In general, let alone with a demon.)

But nope, can’t have that. We can throw the promise of restoring Crowley in the mix to sweeten the pot, but we can’t acknowledge why he’d want that so badly in the first place. So now it’s cause they work so well together. We can praise the angel for the fallen archangel Gabriel himself coming to him protection and guidance, give him a gold star. But we couldn’t DARE imply that it was by virtue of Aziraphale’s courage to choose earthly love over heavenly. How Gabriel didn’t need a leader, but a friend who’s truly known the joys of adoring that “particular person” and the pain of needing to hide it.

Cause then Aziraphale would start getting crazy ideas, like that his silly little human feelings have a great deal of worth. That they have the power to inspire, form cracks in the institution, fundamentally weaken what has controlled and harmed him. We wouldn’t want him to know the true value of the cards he holds when he has the ace in a match against you, now would we? After all…

Metatron uses this ingeniously sinister tactic of taking away Aziraphale’s choice while giving the illusion that he’s actually opening up doors. Notice how he tells Aziraphale he would have the authority to do something as extraordinary as turn a demon into an angel, yet he never once puts the much simpler alternative of just working with a demon on the table? The sleight of hand here is that he’s being offered the opportunity to freely be with Crowley… but he’s already freely with him as is, no bargain to be made. In fact he fought to be. Metatron disappears this accomplishment right before our eyes, while seamlessly maintaining the illusion to Aziraphale that he (Zira) is in control.

He sets Aziraphale up for failure by only providing the option he knows Crowley will not only decline but be deeply hurt by. It’s all so cleverly planned. Once this plays out exactly how he wants, he delivers the finishing blow by diminishing Crowley and his “damned fool questions”. Suddenly doing a complete 180 and emphasizing how foolish and troublesome he is. Metatron was offering Crowley by Aziraphale’s side as The Carrot. Now he’s telling Aziraphale it was stupid of him to want The Carrot, un-heavenly.

Aziraphale’s life, love, happiness, it’s all not only a massive inconvenience for Metatron but a liability. He has successfully taken a weapon from Aziraphale’s hands he didn’t even know he had. Metatron sees the writing on the wall, and he wants it contained.

#THE southern pansy doesn’t even realize he’s about to start a jod damn revolution #quick! annihilate his self esteem so he doesn’t start making people sniff out the bullshit on PURPOSE #good omens #ineffable husbands #season 2 #2x06 #meta #analysis #aziraphale #crowley #Muriel #metatron #Renew good omens #biceratops #Gabriel #ineffable bureaucracy

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lightseoul · 1 year

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admit it

synopsis. loving him from afar was enough. at least, it should’ve been enough. until it wasn’t. (or, in which you subtly take care of your ex, bakugou katsuki, who also happens to be the namesake of the agency you’re working at) (part 2) (part 3)

cw. fem!reader, worker!reader, prohero!katsuki, aged-up (~24 yrs old)

word count. 5.0k words

Being the HR Department Head of the Ground Riot agency, you’ve learned to take care of Pro Hero Dynamight in subtle ways.

Primarily because even though he isn’t technically your direct superior—he rarely dabbled in admin work as compared to his co-founder Kirishima Eijirou—you didn’t want to stir up drama or reports on inappropriate workplace relationships.

Especially as the head of the Human Relations department.

But that’s not the only reason.

It’s also because—well, he’s your ex.

The ex who you never really understood in terms of how he became that.

“You know, we really need to redecorate this place.”

Mikuri, your colleague from the PR department, muses as she scans the breakroom from her spot on the L-shaped sofa.

You place the black coffee pods you picked up on your way home yesterday near the coffee machine, “Tell that to Finance. The breakroom decor is probably the least of their worries.”

She merely sighs in response as she reverts her attention to her phone.

“You do know that doom scrolling during your break isn’t exactly resting, right?”

At that, she pouts but doesn’t look up. “I hear you, Ms. HR.”

You playfully roll your eyes at the nickname.

“Stocking up on coffee during one’s break isn’t exactly resting, either.”

At her mention of the beverage, your eyes drift back to the pods you have in your hands. You found that they ran out before your shift ended the day prior and were quick to buy refills.

“What are you doing with that flavor, anyway?” she finally lifts her head to regard you, pocketing her phone as she stands up. You look up at the wall clock—break time’s almost over. “Didn’t you dislike that?”

You smile to yourself, fiddling with capsules. Mikuri was right—you didn’t really like this flavor.

But Katsuki did.

And he still does, you think.

“Y/N!”

You whip your head around to see the owner of the familiar voice—Kirishima, decked out in his hero gear, looking like he’s about to head out for patrol.

“Hey! What’s up, Ei?”

He grins, head sticking through the slightly ajar sliding door, “I’m good! ‘s a good thing I ran into you—Bakugou got called out on an emergency mission.”

He nods at Mikuri in greeting, smile still adorning his face, before shifting his gaze back at you. “Looks like it’s still gonna be me and you during the final screening later.”

His eyes dart toward the coffee machine and the freshly stocked pods. Your hips shuffle in front of it before your brain could even catch up.

“Great, see you then!”

With that, Kirishima flashes you a final grin before easing out of the door and heading toward the elevators.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Final screening?” Mikuri whisper-shouts the second Kirishima’s out of sight.

You sigh, collecting the packaging and shoving it into the trash bin. “Sidekicks. He finally got Bakugou to say yes to getting one.”

“Oof, good luck with that.”

“Personally, I think it boils down to these two.”

You thrust forward the two sets of files in front of you, eyeing everyone seated at the oval-shaped meeting table.

“I agree,” your HR subordinate chimes in from the far end of the table.

“I vote for web dude,” another adds. “He’s so much like Bakugou personality-wise. They’d have to click.”

The recruitment head shakes her head, “Yeah, but his quirk doesn’t complement Bakugou’s explosion as much as the girl’s water jet.”

“I know, Yamakawa-san. But did you even see her? She’s so timid, I’ll bet you 5,000 yen that she’ll quit on day 1 of Bakugou shouting at her.”

Murmurs of agreement course through the room, but you’re not paying attention to what they’re whispering to each other.

“I doubt he’ll want someone so similar to him,” you mumble to yourself.

Apparently, you say it loud enough because everyone looks at you in confusion.

Shit.

“I mean, imagine how much of a PR and HR nightmare that will be,” you joke, although it comes out a bit stilted. Fortunately, they, including Kirishima who is seated at your right and at one end of the table, chuckle at your wisecrack.

“Are you voting for the girl, then?” the recruitment head inquires once the laughter dies down.

“Well…” you pause, “I agree that Moriyama-san is remarkably meek and timid, but just from her series of interviews, let alone her practical test, I could see she liked a good challenge.”

You tap her portrait, “Beyond just being a good match for Bakugou’s quirk, she’ll surely step up. And I know for a fact that if there’s anyone who can guarantee that, it’s Katsuki.”

At that, some eyes widen, and you can’t help but tilt your head in confusion at the perplexed looks they’re giving you.

“I mean, Bakugou!” you backtrack, finally realizing your mistake.

Desperate to change the subject, you direct your attention toward Kirishima. “What do you think, Kirishima-san?”

He passes you a knowing smile, one that is too unnerving for your liking, before leaning back on his chair.

“I think you’re right.”

You allow yourself to do some internal chastising the minute the meeting is adjourned.

Hiding your complicated feelings for Bakugou was easy—mainly because you rarely saw him around.

But hiding how much you knew about him?

That’s a whole different story.

“Good work, Y/N,” Kirishima pats you on the shoulder as the rest of your recruitment crew pile to exit the room.

You flash him a thankful smile before hopping on your feet and gathering your documents. “I’m trying not to make you regret hiring me, boss.”

He chuckles good-naturedly before looking away in what you think is reluctance.

“What is it?” you prod, feeling a sense of uneasiness crawl through your spine.

He seems to hesitate before continuing, “I was just gonna say—you always know what’s best for Bakugou.”

At that, your expression falters, and you feel your shoulders tensing at the mention of Bakugou’s name. You refuse to let your hurt (or whatever the fuck it is you’re feeling) show on your face, though.

Instead, you shrug as nonchalantly as you can. “I just want the best for my bosses.”

Kirishima doesn’t say anything after that, but you can tell the gears are running in his brain. He simply nods in acknowledgment of your response before heading for the door himself, and you follow suit.

You’re at the doorway, stifling a tired yawn when you lock eyes with the man of the hour himself.

“Bakubro!” Kirishima exclaims in greeting. He encases Bakugou in a bro hug, which the latter begrudgingly accepts. “You got the mission done and over with?”

Bakugou, in all of his costume-decked glory, eyes the redhead and scoffs, “Obviously.”

His eyes flicker to yours. You nod at each other in lieu of a verbal greeting.

“You just missed the meeting,” Kirishima starts, vaguely aware of the palpable tension between the two of you. “We found’em—your first-ever sidekick!”

You almost want to laugh at how Bakugou doesn’t match Kirishima’s energy.

He simply grunts in response.

But Kirishima’s not the type to give up so easily. Instead, he adds: “Y/N made the final decision.”

You stiffen at the mention of your name, Bakugou’s eyes shifting toward you at the same time. You brace yourself for a snarky retort or a lame insult, but nothing comes.

Instead, he merely gives you a firm nod.

“Thanks.”

At that, he makes his way to his corner office.

You were only reminded that your HR personnel was still around when murmurs erupted in Bakugou’s wake.

“Just like that?”

“Wait, he’s in?”

“Wow, never thought he was capable of saying thank you.”

“Yeah, all I get is a halfhearted eye roll.”

The last comment would’ve made you snort if you weren’t too dazed by how uncharacteristic that was of Bakugou. You stand there for what feels like minutes as the others around you start toward their respective offices.

Finally snapping out of the trance the second you realized you were alone in the hallway, you head toward your own office, renewed with the resolve to take your mind off of one Bakugou Katsuki.

You had just the thing to keep yourself busy.

The monthly HR-hosted game night of Ground Riot agency is the one HR activity everyone actually looked forward to.

It’s the one time of the month employees get to let loose during weekdays and bond with colleagues, as well as enjoy free food and drinks, including the occasional booze.

It is also a pain in the ass to organize.

As the HR department head, you technically served as the project head, too, overseeing all of the subcommittees—from programs to logistics—on top of your everyday workload.

Suffice to say, the week before game nights never fails to whoop you in the ass with crushing responsibilities (and for the record, you’re not overreacting—you take your HR events very seriously) but you dare say that the outcomes and seeing everyone enjoy themselves always make it worth it.

For this month, in the spirit of encouraging employee engagement in your department, you let the Recruitment and Selection subdepartment be in charge of the program’s game proper.

In hindsight, maybe you shouldn’t have.

Because now your very own HR members are dragging everyone to answer very personal truth-or-dare questions.

And ‘everyone’ happened to include Bakugou Katsuki.

“Bakugou-san!” an employee from the engineering department regards said man, who, by some miracle, has let himself be forced into playing.

Having chosen the ‘truth’ option, he is now seated on the mini-stage you happened to help set up earlier that afternoon.

One of your subordinates hands the support items engineer a microphone. The latter taps the mic before resuming, glee evident in her voice. “How many people have you dated?”

Cheers go off from all around the room at the question, and you shoot a withering glare at your assigned subdepartment members. One catches your eye and visibly cringes.

But goes on pretending they didn’t see you.

Fucking hell.

Grabbing yourself a microphone from the sound booth, you speak into it, trying not to freak out over the fact that this will very much be the first time you’ll verbally address Bakugou in two years.

“Apologies, Bakugou-san,” you start, “You don’t have to answer that.”

Everyone looks at you in bewilderment, including Bakugou who himself looks puzzled.

You take the lull that has befallen upon the room as a sign to continue.

“Such questions are deemed inappropriate as per HR standards. I’m going to have to speak with my subordinates after this.”

You expected uneasy silence as a response, but you sure as hell didn’t anticipate the plethora of jeers that erupt in the room, some even exclaiming exasperated ‘come on’s’.

You’re about to insist (as calmly as you can, that is) when a low, gruff voice crackles from the speakers.

“‘s fine. I’ll answer the fucking question.”

The room goes entirely still. You hold your breath.

He heaves a sigh, and you could’ve sworn his gaze flickered to you for a moment before he looks away.

“Just one.”

Oohs and aahs get passed around, and despite yourself, you feel a shot of relief course through your veins at the implication of Bakugou’s answer.

He hasn’t dated since you.

“Are you guys still together?” a male employee shouts from the other end of the room, and you can’t help the rush of blood toward your cheeks at the question.

You need to put your foot down, now.

“Okay,” you interject, “that’s enou–”

“No. We broke up two years ago.”

Your head whips toward Bakugou’s direction, shocked at his ready admission. The reprimanding words that you were about to spit out die in your throat.

“You plan on seeing anyone anytime soon?” another employee asks from the other far corner.

You’re about to pipe up in protest—distressed over the inappropriate questions, as the HR head or ex-girlfriend, you don’t know—when Kirishima stands up and barks out a good-natured laugh.

“I think that’s enough prodding, you guys.” His eyes flicker to Bakugou’s and then yours in a split second, face etched with concern, before he turns back his attention to the crowd, a toothy grin having replaced his previous expression.

You didn’t realize how tense your muscles have gotten until Kirishima stepped in to intervene, and at that, you slowly let out a big exhale through your nose.

God fucking no. The last thing you need is for your co-workers to find out that the HR head, of all people, is their boss’s ex.

Before you can even spiral further, though, you feel a hand clap your upper back. You twist to find Kirishima, who is, weirdly enough, beaming with excitement.

“We actually have something special planned for a special someone today.”

And as if on cue, the rest of your HR department enters the room, with your secretary carrying your favorite cake and the others holding balloons and a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

You don’t remember telling anyone about your favorites except for one person.

Confused, you turn towards Kirishima. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?” he mimics, amused at your confusion and the employees who hear laugh. “It’s your one-year anniversary in the agency!”

You could only gape in shock as the people around you, the ones you, over time, grew to identify as family, crowd you and urge you to blow out the candle and accept the flowers.

Still disoriented, you do what they tell you, and they cheer in response as you do so.

With all the busyness that came with the search for sidekicks and the monthly HR game night, you completely forgot about the significance of today’s date.

Overwhelmed by the sentiments and the sea of people surrounding you, you don’t know where to look or mouth a thank you.

Somehow, your gaze finds Bakugou’s—only to see him already looking at you from behind the crowd.

You’re about to look away, unable to sustain his piercing gaze, when he flashes you a small smile.

None of those smirks or mischievous grins he usually sports around other people.

No, this one was different.

Because this was the kind of smile he’d reserved especially for private moments with you.

Before you can give it a second thought, you find yourself smiling back.

“You really couldn’t be bothered to change into normal clothes before coming here?”

You, as inconspicuously as you can, look around the café you’re currently in, wary of paparazzi or anyone else that could recognize Pro Hero Pinky. The last thing you needed was a picture of you (the lucky civilian), haggard after a long day of work, all over Twitter.

“Nah,” she shrugs, “patrol was completely uneventful anyway. I’ll shower when I get home.”

You reach for your iced drink, mumbling under your breath, “I wasn’t worried about you…”

“Hey!” she pouts, “Is that how you treat a friend who’s done you a major favor?”

Your eye twitches at the mention of a favor.

These things never end well with Mina.

“Mina…” you groan, “what did you do?”

She rubs her neck sheepishly. “I kind of promised one of my colleagues that you’d go on a blind date with him.”

“What the fuck?”

She grabs your hand over the table that sits between the two of you. “He’s a real catch, I promise you. Tall, handsome, and a crazy smart support items engineer.”

You frantically shake your head, yanking your hand from her. “Idiot, I’m not worried about your ‘candidate’. Who the fuck said I wanted to go on a blind date?”

Mina whines and thrashes in her seat in response, maybe in an attempt to make you feel sorry and just go along with her antics.

You refuse to do so.

After a few minutes of an incredulous stare-off, she finally deflates in defeat.

“I just thought I could help you out and get you out of your shell. You haven’t dated anyone since…” she trails off, and looks away awkwardly, “you know.”

You chuckle despite yourself, albeit quite solemnly.

Until now, it still makes you feel guilty how the rest of your friend group is forced to deal with the aftermath of your unsuccessful relationship with Bakugou.

“You can say his name, you know. He’s not Voldemort.”

Mina rolls her eyes at that, but you can tell it’s playful more than anything else.

You look down at your now clasped hands. “I appreciate the help, you know that.”

She nods vigorously, and you almost laugh at how much of a textbook-active listener she is.

“But?”

You sigh, “I just can’t right now. If I end up dating someone, word will eventually get around in the office and I just…”

You lock eyes with Mina, whose eyebrows are raised in anticipation.

“I don’t want to make things awkward between Bakugou and me, especially now that I’m working in his agency.”

A few moments of silence pass before Mina speaks up, slunk against her chair.

“Man, you’re the world’s best ex-girlfriend, you know that?”

You snort, “Thanks.”

She sighs in exasperation, “I mean, even if you guys had the most ambiguous breakup ever, you still are extremely considerate about him.”

You’re not, by any means, in the mood or headspace to explore why that is, so you go for the safest answer possible.

“What can I say,” leaning back into your chair yourself, feigning nonchalance, “I’m just an incredibly good person.”

Mina doesn’t even bat an eye at your quip, “Yeah, yeah. Why did you guys break up, anyway?”

“Woah,” you lean back, aghast, “it’s,” you flick your wrist to check the time on your watch, “5:17 PM, Mina. And I doubt this café even serves a beer.”

You’re deflecting, and Mina has known you long enough to be aware of that.

She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms across her chest. “Don’t you think I’m owed a little bit of information? I’m the one who set you guys up.”

“Actually, that was Kirishi–.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she interjects, “I helped.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes. She waves it off.

“Point is, I was there when this budding relationship started, and I’m here to know the deets about how it ended.”

You shake your head in resignation, “You sure you don’t want to say you’re just nosy?”

She grins at you, “Nope!”

“So you’re telling me he got too busy and neglectful, you ended up asking for a break, and you’ve never talked to each other since?”

“Yep. That’s what I just said.”

Out of the blue, she hops onto her feet, and in doing so knocks stuff around on the table.

A glass of water almost spills.

“Mina?” you seethe, “Sit the fuck back down. People are gonna stare.”

“Bitch, I have pink skin. They’ve been staring since we entered the room,” she snaps, “And don’t even think about changing the subject.”

“I’m not! Just sit back down.”

She obliges, but she’s still visibly riled up, “I knew your breakup was vague, but not this vague!”

“I don’t know either, okay!” you put your hands up, exasperated. “A month into it he got Kirishima to get his things from my apartment, and so I just assumed he wanted to break up.”

Her eyes are filled with bewilderment, “And your asking me to get your things from his apartment?”

“I…” you hesitate, “I asked you immediately the day after.”

At that, she huffs in surrender, sinking back into her chair. “And you’re supposed to be an expert at conflict resolution.”

“Hey,” you throw a used tissue at her, which she expertly dodges, “That’s for the workplace setting. Romantic relationships are a whole other thing.”

She scoffs, fiddling with the piece of paper containing the café’s WiFi password. “And then, what? You took a gap year to find yourself?”

You roll your eyes for the nth time, reaching forward to take back the tissue you threw at her.

“Don’t make it sound like that. I just took a gap year after graduating to rest and figure out what I wanted to do. I was just lucky enough to have been recruited by Kirishima even if I had zero work experience by the time I came back.”

Mina eyes you, “Even if it meant technically having Bakugou as your boss?”

You look down at the piece of tissue in your hands.

“Even if it meant actually having Bakugou as my boss.”

Mina doesn’t say anything after that, only reaching for her cup of decaf coffee. You follow suit, taking a sip from your now-diluted drink.

You look up at her to see that she’s thinking hard about something.

In spite of yourself, you feel the familiar feeling of dread rising in your throat.

“...You’re not gonna tell him about this conversation, are you?”

“Who, Katsuki?” she asks and you gingerly nod. “Of course not!”

You hold eye contact for a while longer before looking away with a big sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

Three knocks echo through the hallway, as well as Kirishima’s expansive, corner office. Hesitantly and without noise, you peer through the glass door to see him in his regular clothes and in his desk, rifling through some documents that appear to be mission reports.

Kirishima looks up and catches your eye. Beaming at you with an inviting grin, he beckons you in with a wave of a hand.

“Y/N, bro! What’s up?”

You smile at him as you enter and close the door behind you.

He calls everyone bro, regardless of their gender.

“Hi, Ei. I have the report on the recruits, including Bakugou’s sidekick here with me,” you gesture to the folder in your hand. “Can you spare a minute to go through it together?”

What seems like hesitation dances across Kirishima’s face before he somehow schools it into a sheepish frown.

“Sorry, Y/N,” he starts, “I’m kinda busy right now,”

He flips through the pages for emphasis, “Have an important report due in an hour.”

“Oh, well that’s okay. I can just come back later when you’re free.”

You’re already turning back to exit his office when Kirishima speaks up again.

“—but Bakugou’s available!”

Slowly, you shift back to face him.

“...What?”

“I mean,” Kirishima backtracks, evidently flustered by his outburst, “Bakugou’s free right now. He can go through those documents with you. Especially since he’s the one getting a new sidekick and all.”

You gulp despite yourself, willing desperately to calm your now racing heart.

“But Ei… It’s always been you and our department coordinating on stuff like this. Why the sudden change now?”

It takes Kirishima a few seconds to reply.

And what he says knocks the breath out of your lungs.

“I just think it’s about time he starts taking matters into his own hands.”

When you got dressed and ready this morning, you didn’t think you’d be having your first proper conversation with your ex in two years.

But the universe, or rather, Kirishima, had other plans.

Thinking ‘this is the best it can get’ as you stare at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, you sigh and make your way to your desk to get the files, heading straight to Bakugou’s office afterward.

When you get there, you don’t dare to immediately walk toward his doorway as you did with Kirishima. Instead, you stop at his secretary’s desk.

“Is Dynamight in?”

“Yes,” his secretary chirps without hesitation. How she’s able to still be her sunshiney self despite working immediately under Bakugou is beyond you.

Human resilience, you guess.

She clicks a few times with her mouse as she stares at her laptop screen, before looking back at you again. “He’s actually expecting you, Y/N-san.”

Your eyes widen in disbelief.

Hope flutters in your chest without your permission.

You clear your throat in an attempt to not sound winded. “Really?”

You’re itching to ask if he cleared out his schedule specifically for you, but luckily, you don’t even have to make a fool of yourself because his secretary brings it up herself.

She smiles, “He had me move things around so he could make time for you.”

At that, you blink at her, speechless.

These double meanings are not helping in easing your nerves about this impending encounter.

“You can go ahead,” she gestures to the office, effectively snapping you out of your reverie. “I already gave him the heads up that you’re here.”

Great, you think to yourself. No turning back now.

After shooting her a quick thank you, you clutch the folder to your chest, as if it’s some sort of protective gear, and walk to his door. Upon reaching it, you realize that you don’t even have to knock, because it’s already slung wide open and held in place by a stopper.

You walk in.

Refusing to look at Bakugou, who, from the corner of your eye you can see has his back towards you and is looking at the view of the city skyline, you opt for going through the pages of the file instead.

With a sharp inhale, you finally look up to meet his gaze, only to find that he’s still turned away from you.

He probably didn’t hear me come in, you think.

You clear your throat, and he startles, albeit so minutely anyone else would’ve missed it, finally turning to regard you.

“Hello, Bakugou-san.”

You don’t wait for him to greet you in return. You simply move forward and place the folder on his desk, before stepping back again, hands clasped together behind you. He nods in acknowledgment and shifts to sit on his office chair.

“That folder contains the report on the recruits, including your new sidekick, Moriyama Kairi. It includes their personal histories, interview transcripts, and resumés, as well as recommendations by the departments regarding costumes, training programs, and the like.”

He only grunts in response, thumbing through the pages as you speak. He flips through them so fast that you doubt he’s even going to bother anything beyond skimming through.

He pauses, though, on a certain page, eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowing as he examines it, before closing the folder and placing it back in front of him.

You brace yourself for a comment on an error of some sort.

Instead, he says: “Thanks.”

Your mind goes blank.

You scramble for a decent response.

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

“...Really?” he questions skeptically, pushing back on his desk to stand up, slowly circling it so that he can be face-to-face with you. He’s no less than two feet away now.

“It’s nothing?”

“I mean,” you stutter, shifting your eyes away from him to look at his desk, “it’s my job. That’s part of the job description.”

“Huh,” he mutters, more to himself than to you. Your eyes flicker back to him. Like Kirishima, he’s in his regular clothes, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

“What?” you ask despite yourself, frustration bleeding into your voice.

He smirks, but there’s no malice behind it. “I didn’t know HR was supposed to produce a detailed write-up on how a sidekick can best complement their assigned Pro Hero.”

Your eyes widen slightly in alarm, and you find yourself grappling for any excuse to rid yourself of his suspicions.

Despite them being true.

“We are, actually,” you lie through your teeth. “I made a similar one for Kirishima back when we recruited Tanaka-san.”

“Really?” he asks again, visibly unconvinced, and you can’t help the annoyance that flashes through you. “Because I read through that file myself, and I didn’t see anything of the sort.”

Shit.

The playful expression that once adorned Bakugou’s face is now displaced by a serious countenance. You don’t even get to have a word in because he’s already speaking again.

“Why?” he starts, “Why did you do this for me?”

At that, you straighten up, face flaming in anger or embarrassment—you can’t tell. He seriously can’t be asking you this.

“It’s your first sidekick,” you retort, “And you’re not exactly Mr. Congeniality around here.”

You expect him to bite back with an insult himself, but he doesn’t.

“Okay, let’s say that’s true.”

You guffaw, “Wha–”

“Why go out of your way to make me this when you’re already drowning in work?”

You can’t believe the audacity of this guy.

“So you admit HR has been swamped these days?” you snap, but continue to deliver the last blow. “Oh, of course, you wouldn’t know! Since it’s Kirishima who does all of the coordinating work with us.”

“I do know,” he spits back, “That’s by design, and I’m more involved than you’d think. And,” he shoots you a look, “don’t change the subject.”

You’re bubbling with vengeful words but what comes out is a huff.

“What do you want me to say, Katsuki?”

At your taunting, he opens his mouth to say something, but ultimately decides against it.

Your stomach drops in disappointment.

“...Well,” you say meekly, “if you don’t have anything else for me, I have to get back to my office.”

Turning your back to him, you’re about to head for the door when he grabs your wrist.

“Wait.”

Your heart leaps in your chest.

You pause for a moment, before spinning to look at him.

It takes you less than a second to conclude that gone is the aloof and composed Bakugou.

It’s now the vulnerable Katsuki, who’s unable to look you in the eye, standing in front of you.

“Fuck, I…”

You can’t help but ache at the sight of him struggling. Despite yourself, you try and gently coax it out of him.

“What is it, Katsuki?”

At your affectionate mention of his first name, he finally meets your eye. You almost stumble back from the intensity of his gaze.

But not as much as at what he was going to say next.

“I want…you to admit it.”

You frown, “Admit what?”

He exhales before closing his eyes shut.

“That you’re still in love with me.”

tagging. @katsukis1wife

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou imagines #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha scenarios #mha scenarios #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #bakugou angst #bakugo x reader #WOOOOOF no beta we die like men #i hope yall enjoy this #!!!

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gingerhastoomanyobsessions · 4 months

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the lords in black are so interesting to me because. they’re so us. we’re watching the citizens of hatchetfield suffer for our own entertainment just as much as they are. we’re their accomplices in all of it

pokotho made hatchetfield into a musical because musicals are entertaining. and we ate that shit up! it’s soooo fun watching a little man scramble as the world around him bursts into song. the musical genre is satirized because pokey knows how the genre conventions work just as well as we do. we like watching musicals so much that black friday and npmd are musicals, too, even though they don’t revolve around pokotho’s plans as much as tgwdlm. we want them to sing. pokotho does too.

bliklotep is the audience and the audience is bliklotep. trail to oregon calls the audience “the watcher with one thousand eyes” and that’s not all, in watcher world blinky seems to be able to see through the eyes of anyone and everyone who loves spectacle. he wants to see the characters go through angst because WE love angst. it’s fun to watch alice and bill express their buried frustrations. blinky wants it to end in bloodshed because he loves tragedy, and let’s face it, so do we. it’s like that one post about how hamlet is aware of the audience and is angry that we don’t do anything to intervene because we want to see how it plays out. personally, I think blinky could have stopped the woodwards if he really wanted (he’s an elder god, after all) but alice shooting him shifted the narrative so that the emotional payoff would be more fulfilling if they escaped. and blinky loves a good story.

t’noy karaxis has blorbos. we joke about it, but that’s really what it is, isn’t it? he’s the fan who watches the movie again and again and again and again to see his favorite character’s dramatic death scene. he’s the guy who writes and reads angst fics by the hundreds because he likes to see his faves cry. he’s the hatchetfield enjoyer who’s on the edge of their seat waiting to see how ted kicks the bucket this time. the bastard’s box is pretty much just an ao3 account filled with whump and hurt no comfort. he’s sadistic AND he genuinely adores ted, because we fans are often cruelest to the characters we love the most. he puts ted through character growth— the realization that his life went the way it did because of his own mistakes, his inability to be vulnerable with jenny before it was too late— and he does that by writing a 56-chapter angst fic that’s still updating to this day

nibblenephim is the fan who voraciously devours every scrap of content that a creator produces and demands more, more, more. let’s face it, the fandom will never let starkid rest until we see this story through to its end. and then someone will demand a sequel series. nibbly is hungry because we will never stop yearning for more stories. he’s simple because that desire itself is simple— as humans, we need creativity like we need air to breathe. nibbly wants more because we want more. and we will never be satiated.

wiggog y’rath is the ruler and the king because he’s the self-inserting writer. I think jon matteson plays paul *and* wiggly for a reason— wiggly is the only lord in black to be played by the same actor in every single show, and that actor also plays the protagonist of tgwdlm. wiggly wants to be the protagonist. he tries to force himself into the human world of hatchetfield because he wants to participate, dammit! he wants to be the bestest ruler that the earth has ever seen! everyone has to love him because he’s going to be their bestest fwiend! when he appears in human form he’s gonna be the prom king! he’s the ebony dark’ness dementia raven way of the hatchetfield multiverse. he wants every human character to bend to his whims and to love him and to put him at the tippy-top of planet earth because he’s the writer and the writer’s main character, you fuckheads, and he can make whatever story he wants, whether the other characters like it or not! if you’ve ever written a self-insert story? congratulations! you’ve been wiggog y’rath.

and the funny thing? I don’t think the lords know that they, too, are as fictional as anyone else in hatchetfield. maybe blinky knows— he sees through the audience’s eyes, after all— but I don’t think the others do. if they did, maybe they’d be a little less tyrannical. a little bit nicer.

but then the starkid writers wouldn’t have much of a story to tell, would they?

#the lords in black #starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #npmd #join me in the metafiction analysis hole.#the real villains of hatchetfield are the starkid writers themselves and those of us who want to see the shows!#the only reason the lords in black fuck up the world is because WE want to see that story!!!!!#note: the ‘you fuckheads’ bit was meant to be in wiggly’s voice/pov. I do not think the good people of starkid fandom are fuckheads.

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cerise-on-top · 7 months

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Hugging HCs

TF141, los Vaqueros, Valeria, Graves, Alex, Farah, Laswell and Nikolai and what I imagine they hug like. It's just pure fluff, I'm not sure it needs and TWs. If it does, please just tell me, though, I'm more than happy to add them.

Price: People have said it before, but he gives dad hugs. They’re not overly long usually, unless you’re feeling down. Has a habit of rubbing and/or patting your back. While they may be somewhat tight, he does loosen up a bit when he hears the air leaving your lungs. If you’re particularly close, like his significant other, he might sway a bit. He’s fairly warm too. Not straight up a human furnace, but definitely warm enough to warm you up a bit. When he lets go, he usually holds you by your shoulders or arms for another second or two, giving you a smile, before ultimately letting you go.

Gaz: When it comes to hugs he’s a bit more on the gentle side. He could knock the air out of your lungs too, if he wanted to, but he usually doesn’t. It’s not too uncommon to receive one from him, especially if you’re good friends, there’s no shame in it to him, sometimes all you need is some comfort. If it’s a hug just so, there’s a chance he’s gonna talk a bit, asking you if you’re alright at first before joking around a bit. He’ll try to bury his face in your shoulder, even if he has to lean down a bit for it. Gaz might not be the warmest person to hug but he’ll give you one whenever you ask. Sometimes you don’t even need to ask for it, his intuition is pretty good, so he can usually tell when you need one.

Ghost: His hugs are special in that they are very rare. If you really want one from him you’ll have to be very close. However, due to his stature, it’s likely that he is taller than you are. Either way, he won’t really lean down, but he will put a hand on the back of your head. Duration wise, they’re usually a bit on the longer side, if he gives them out on his own. Ghost will only really do so once you’re down in the dumps and he knows physical affection helps with comforting you. Doesn’t really talk, he hopes that he can, if nothing else, make you feel safe and calm you down. He is warm, almost like a furnace.

Soap: If you’re hugging for celebratory reasons or as a greeting, he will try to squeeze you as much as he can. It is on purpose, he wants to show you how strong he is. However, Soap will be more gentle if you ask him to, he doesn’t want to break your ribs. If you’re in need of a comforting hug, he will tone it down greatly. He is more inclined towards side hugs, but won’t shy away from a proper one either. Like Gaz’, his intuition is pretty good, so you usually won’t need to ask for a hug, he’ll just give it to you. Also a talker, unless he’s tired, in which case he’ll talk fairly little. Runs the hottest out of the TF141, making him a wonderful substitute for a heater during winter.

Alejandro: Open to hugs, but maybe more so in private than in public, unless tragedy has struck and he’s just glad you’re alive. If you’re shorter than him he will put a hand to the back of your head and pull you towards his shoulder, if you’re taller than him he will rest his head against yours, maybe burying his face in the crook of your neck. He usually goes quiet when hugging you, simply wanting to feel your warmth. He hugs a bit longer than usual, he does enjoy the physical closeness with his loved ones. Somewhat warm, somewhat tight hugs, latter does sort of depend on how tired he is. When more tired, his hugs will be a bit more loose.

Rodolfo: Loves hugs, is afraid to ask for them, however. Him and Alejandro do hug occasionally, but it isn’t always enough to satisfy his need for them. He’s usually rather gentle when it comes to hugs, regardless of whether or not you’re taller and stronger than him. He doesn’t need to prove anything, he just wants to make you feel better. Does talk, but just a bit. Whenever you hug him he’ll be concerned as hugs, to him, are usually something you ask for when you need comfort, and ask you if you’re alright and what he can do for you. He rarely initiates hugs, regardless of how much he needs one. Warmer than Alejandro, but his hugs aren’t as long.

Valeria: Good luck receiving one. Rarely gives them out, doesn’t feel too much sentiment for them either. Absolutely none in public, it’s a maybe in private. If she’s a bit tired she’s more inclined to say yes, but if she’s too tired she might be a bit hypervigilant. It takes her a great amount of trust to let anyone closer to her than she needs to. If you ask for one and you’re very close, she will mock you a bit, but will wrap her arms around you regardless of how you reply, whether you quip back or look like a kicked puppy. Running a cartel is rather tiring, so she might close her eyes for a bit, making the hug last just a bit longer. She needs some rest, but she doesn’t want to admit it. Her hugs are not very tight because she usually hugs you when tired, but don’t be fooled, she could absolutely crush you. About average warmth.

Graves: Very physically affectionate, actually. When you’re close enough he has no qualms whatsoever about pulling you into a hug. Greeting, celebratory, comfort, anything goes. If you’re not sad he’ll give you a smug grin. Some hugs will be tighter than others, he needs to show you just how strong he is, how well he could protect you if it came down to it. He’s a commander, so naturally he does so. Gives you lots and lots of praise when he does hold you. Whenever he needs a hug he’ll play it off as you seeming like you needed one, won’t even admit to himself that sometimes it’s just nice to be held. Even if you are taller than him, he will always try to be the bigger person and make you a bit smaller. He’s just prideful like that. A little bit colder than average, but not by much.

Alex: If he really likes you then he’s more than happy to give you a hug, but he also really like receiving them. Will lean down to bury his face in the crook of your neck, even if you’re quite a bit shorter than him. Not above outright asking you for one either. If he knows he has no danger to fear he will close his eyes every single time. While hugs do make him the slightest bit giddy, he tries to hide it. If he actually tried just the tiniest bit harder he could succeed, but he doesn’t really want to either. It’s sort of cute how happy they make him. If you’re on the shorter side he will be more gentle than if you were taller, but it’s all subconscious. Either way he’s far from crushing you. Hugs often and for as long as he can. Only a bit warmer than average, but his gentle enthusiasm makes up for it.

Farah: Does want hugs from time to time, but pushes that wish down. She’s a commander, she doesn’t have time for that. Is willing to give hugs to the people closest to her, though. Not very often, but she’ll do it. Comforting you that way makes her feel strong, especially when she can tuck your head under her chin. If you’re scared, she’ll hum a small melody to you, even if she doesn’t remember where she knows it from. The duration is entirely dependent on how much time she has, whether or not you’re interrupted, but she, without fail, will give you comforting words. Will cradle your face in her hands afterwards if she can. While there’s a chance she might obstruct your attempts at giving her a hug, she might accept if she’s feeling especially down. Yes, she’s used to working under extreme pressure, but she needs it too. Please reassure her that she, too, deserves a hug, it means a lot to her. Her hugs are fairly tight, she is afraid of losing you. Pretty warm, too.

Laswell: Doesn’t give them out very often, but she doesn’t mind either. Again, you need to be close to her. Anyone is an open book to her, she can read people just that well because of her occupation. If you need a hug, she’ll know immediately. She doesn’t hug for too long, but she makes sure you’re feeling better by the end of it. Solution oriented, she’ll ask you what’s wrong and already try to come up with everything she can do to help. If it’s just consolation you need, I can assure you that she’s one of the best people you can go to, she’s very good with words. Stern, yes, but she means well. She may be neutral to hugs, but she will respect if you do like them and give you some from time to time. Does love the feeling of you relaxing against her. Her hugs aren’t too tight, and she isn’t too warm, about average, but the timing is impeccable.

Nikolai: Down for any kind of hug, in all honesty. Ask and ye shall receive. Is very open to them, kind of likes them as well. It’s a nice change of pace for once, something gentle and warm, it’s different from what you can usually expect in Russia. The duration is variable, it’s really up to you. Hell, if there’s nowhere he needs to be you can hug it out for hours as well. Long hugs like that are reserved for private only, but shorter ones are a-okay for public. He’s confident enough that he can protect you. Besides, who would take it up with the leader of Chimera anyway? Like Price, he’ll rub your back, holding you fairly tight. Nikolai is also rather warm, not on the same level as Soap, but it gets fairly close. Fairly talkative, he’s willing to have a full conversation while you’re in each other’s arms

#cod #cod x reader #john price x reader #price x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #rodolfo parra x reader #valeria garza x reader #phillip graves x reader #alex keller x reader #farah karim x reader #kate laswell x reader #nikolai x reader #cod nikolai x reader

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fickleminder · 7 months

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be good

AU inspired by this prompt: Humans are born with demon counterparts to protect them. The more innocent and pure a person is, the more mean, fierce, and terrifying their demon becomes.

Halloween 2023 fic 😈

It’s one of the things your parents often told you when you were growing up.

"Behave yourself."

"They won’t hurt you if you’re good."

"Say please and thank you."

"It’s okay, they’re your best friend."

"Mind your manners."

"You can always rely on them to protect you."

"Be good, now."

You’ve had multiple shadows for as long as you could remember. No one else could see them; a person’s demon was their own after all, but you quickly realized that everybody around you only had the one. Any attempts to convince your family otherwise only led them to believe yours was a shapeshifter.

But one demon or seven, they never laid a finger on you. Sometimes they kept their distance, watching over you from afar; other times they stayed within arm’s reach, readily accepting your touch should your curiosity win out. You soon became accustomed to the chilly air around them, their cool skin a familiar comfort on days when you just needed a hug.

They were brothers too, despite not looking anything alike. You talked to them of course, wanting to know more about your protectors friends, where they came from, what they did to pass the time when they weren’t watching you. The oldest one told you that they weren't like the other demons; they were more important, had other roles to fulfill and duties to tend to, which was why they had to take turns looking after you.

"I'm sorry for being a bother," five-year-old you said. You'd been left alone more often than not, your father having passed away recently while your mother worked extra jobs to keep the both of you fed. She never neglected you when she was home, but you still felt like a burden to her.

"You're not a bother," the oldest one — Lucifer — chided you gently. "Your mother loves you, and so do we. Never forget that, understand?"

You gripped his pant leg and nodded into his thigh, only relaxing when a gloved hand reached down to stroke your hair.

The wind howled outside your window and rattled the panes. Cloudy skies covered the moon, casting your room into inky blackness as you huddled under the blankets and shivered, eyes wide open and unable to sleep.

Everything seemed louder in the dark: the shrieking gusts, the creaky old floorboards, the scuttles in the walls, the scratching and rustling behind your closet door—

"It's way past your bedtime, you know."

The voice came out of nowhere, but all you felt was a sharp sense of relief knowing that you weren't alone tonight. "I'm scared," you whispered to it, clutching the sheets tighter against your body. "Can you check the closet for monsters, please?"

One of the shadows in the room seemed to grow and stretch, moving lazily towards the closet in question. You didn't dare to peek over the blankets, but you heard the door open and close as the faint noises from within fell blessedly silent.

"Better?" The voice drawled, returning to its place under your bed. "Go to sleep now. There's nothing scarier here than me."

"Thanks Belphie. Goodnight."

You let one arm dangle off the side of your bed as you finally closed your eyes. After a while, you felt a cold hand grasping yours, keeping you safe in its grip.

"I said I was sorry!"

"You think a simple 'sorry' is gonna cut it?!"

Bumping into other students in a crowded hallway was almost inevitable, but apparently this upperclassman took personal offense at it. The older boy hauled you up by your shirt and slammed you against the lockers while everybody else kept their heads low and gave the two of you a wide berth.

"I oughta teach you a lesson for—" He looked over his shoulder at someone you couldn't see, frowning with irritation. "Whaddya mean 'wrong person'? This twerp was the one who—"

Whatever his demon said must have convinced him, because he abruptly let go and stomped away without another word. Your knees buckled and you slid to the floor with a breathy exhale.

Someone squatted down beside you to check the back of your head, running gentle fingers through your hair to soothe you. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I was more startled than anything." You smiled at Satan, who still seemed somewhat troubled. "Can you walk me to my next class?"

"With pleasure."

That night, Satan got Asmo to read to you on his behalf, claiming he had a last minute errand to run. You didn't mind; Asmo had such a melodic voice that he might as well have sung you to sleep.

(You never saw that upperclassman in school again. People still said he transferred out.)

The day your mother passed, you were sitting next to her and holding her hand, doing your best to ignore the beeping of the machines that monitored her vitals.

One minute she was peaceful, halfway dozed off while you spoke to her softly, the next her entire body seized up as she began mumbling incoherently.

The machines went haywire and alerted the nurses to her side. You were forced to step back and let them do their job, your panicked gaze focused on her fearful face as she writhed on the bed, as though struggling to get away from an assailant.

"No, no... I thought... Please..." were the last words you heard before someone wrapped their arms around you and turned you away.

"Don't look," Asmo cooed in your ear, moments before the shrill beeping noises became steady.

The demon guided you to sit in the hallway outside, whispering words of comfort and rubbing your back. He told you to remember how pretty your mother was before her illness, the good times you'd spent with her after all the hardship the two of you had endured, happy memories that made every second worth it.

You knew your demons would help you to work through the grief in time, but for now, you let yourself fall apart in Asmo's arms.

"Take care on your way home."

"Thanks boss, see you tomorrow."

Closing shifts sucked, but the late hours paid well. Luckily, you had company on your walk back too, a hulking figure no one else could see but everybody still instinctively steered clear of. It made taking shortcuts through shady alleys a little safer.

Even on nights you stopped for supper at a sleazy diner, the only place still open at this godforsaken hour, nobody invited themselves into your booth or tried to strike up conversation with you. Which worked just fine, all you wanted to do was eat your food, go home, and collapse into bed.

Strangely enough, you noticed that the cook also tended to be extra generous with the portions he served you. The man was loud and gruff towards the waitstaff, but on nights you were seated at the counter, he was quiet as a mouse when setting your dish in front of you.

You could never finish it all, but you always made sure to leave a good tip anyway.

You stared at the numbers on the screen for the longest time, feeling conflicted. A part of you wished you had never approached your coworker to ask about the discrepancies you'd found in the accounts, not when he opened your eyes to some of the dealings that went under your boss's radar. He offered you a cut of the profits to keep your mouth shut of course, but you never imagined...

He was a good guy. Hardworking, funny, always willing to pitch in and offering to pick up a bite for you whenever he went on snack runs. You knew he went to church regularly too, so why?

A bat-like wing blocked your view of the screen, and you looked up to see Mammon smirking. "You're overthinking this," he said. "The answer's right in front of ya."

"I thought..." You bit your lip. "He isn't doing too well himself, and the company isn't a megacorp or anything but it's not like they'll notice. Shouldn't I just look the other way?"

"Ha! What he's offering ya is peanuts compared to the promotion you'll get by exposing his operation."

"I'm not in it for the money—"

"Maybe so, but it's the right thing to do, ain't it?"

"Still..."

"You won't have to worry about any retaliation." Mammon assured you with a ruffle of your hair. "I'll make sure of it."

"—lie! It's all a lie! Listen to me, you can't trust the devils!"

"What nonsense are you watching now?" Levi leaned over your shoulder as you tilted your phone to give him a better view.

"A video that went viral recently. Some crazy dude ranting about conspiracies and whatnot."

Levi's nose scrunched up in distaste. "Sounds like he's jealous about having a wimpy lesser demon chained to him, if you ask me. These guys are just bitter they got leftovers since they aren't good people."

"I don't know, Levi. Some folks just need a bit of help, I think. And don't get me started on the whole nature vs. nurture debate."

"Well, doesn't change the fact that you can't save everybody."

"They're cultivating us, like livestock! You have to sin, SIN I say!"

"Ugh, I've had enough of this dude. Can you change the channel? We haven’t watched the latest episode about that time-traveling god yet.”

"Ooh, you’re right! Give me a sec to log into my account…"

Lucifer hummed in amusement. "Excuse me?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend." You scrambled to clarify your earlier statement. "It's just— I've known you and your brothers for so long that you don't look scary to me, not anymore. I'm not saying you guys should be monsters or anything, but... Does this mean I'm a bad person?"

"Demons have many forms not meant for mortal eyes," he explained patiently. "And you should know that humans are neither fully good nor bad, but often somewhere in-between. In any case, why would we ever wish to frighten you, hm?"

"Told you it was a silly question..." You grumbled under your breath.

Lucifer squeezed your shoulder. "You’re a good person. You always try your best to do the right thing, even without our guidance to keep you from going astray. I don't say this lightly: I’m proud of you."

You hid your warm cheeks in the demon's chest as you hugged him for all you were worth. "...Thanks Luci."

"Anytime. Now, off you go. Don't keep Beel waiting."

Lucifer watched as his younger brother filled the empty space next to you, holding your hand while walking you home. The hour was late and the streets were dark; it wouldn't do to have anything unsavory happen to you before you made it home safely.

Yes, they needed to keep you safe at all costs. A pure and innocent being like you was hard to come by, perhaps only once every millennia or so. He and his brothers had fought for the right to you, to nurture and polish your soul for when the time was right. And when it was, you would be—

"Delicious," Lucifer whispered, baring his fangs as he licked his lips.

#writing #obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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cherryzlem · 24 days

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My talk on the TikTok-ification of ‘I have no mouth and i must scream’

I personally have discovered ihnmaims recently and through TikTok but honestly, from what i've seen so far, the Tumblr community is way more welcoming than the TikTok community. I believe the ones i call ‘hardcore fans’ or 'gatekeepers' will try all they can to belittle the people who discovered the book/game through TikTok, like any hardcore fan does for their community when it gets famous on TikTok.

TikTok is very helpful to share media on and i have discovered many fandoms through it. But some people are so against ‘TikTok-ification’ that they can’t stand when people find medias through this platform.

When i see some people (again, mostly solely on TikTok) tell AM fans ‘ermm but you know he SA’d Helen ☝️🤓’ i cant help but think ‘yes ?? And he also committed genocide on humanity, keeps torturing the same 5 people over and over again and im very, VERY sure he did use a lot of not really nice kinds of tortures on them, but you draw the line at SA ??’

Like, AM is a horrible being of course, all of these are horrible actions but if someone, like me, likes AM its not gonna be because they think they’re a good ‘person’ (for lack of a better word), WE KNOW AM is bad, of course we do, HE’S THE BAD GUY OF THE STORY and he’s the kind of bad guy who cannot be redeemed but COME ON, WE KNOW THAT.

I love AM for his writing, for how well thought he is as a character, i do not love him for his actions. And i know some 'new gen fans' will pretend AM is not 'that bad' but you shouldn't just assume every fan who comes from TikTok is going to think like that.

Another thing i’ve seen people hate on are AM’s humanisations/personnifications fanarts when posted on TikTok. I know for a fact that these existed for a long long time on other platforms such as Tumblr but the arguments the haters pull out is that ‘errr AM hates humanity, i doubt he’d want to be human ☝️🤓’ but do you even know WHY he hates humanity ?? Have you read the book ???

The reason AM hates humanity is because he wasn’t able to express the creativity he was given by humans, he didn’t just wake up one day and decided to hate humans ?? If anything, giving AM a more humanized/personified image would be something he would want more than anything. If AM had been able to BE like a human none of the shit he did would have happened.

The only ‘argument’ im willing to listen to is when some people say that the whole point of AM’s character is that he isn’t human. But then again, are you against fun ?? In literally EVERY fandom with non-human characters artists will give them humanized designs, even if just for AU’s (take ‘The stanley parable’ for exemple), it’s not because the story is old and is an horror story that people cannot have fun with it. It’s not because it’s a deep story with meaning that people can’t do what they want with it. That is what creativity is for.

And my final point is addressing the people who hate on AM's simps. My gosh, these people have not seen the dawn of the internet if they think its weird to simp for AM.

People simp for Glados, The Narrator from tsp, horror movies murderers and more, and you're telling me that AM is the worst simping choice you could make ?? Let people have fun, let people have weird taste in fictional crushes. In other words:

Stop being allergic to fun, ffs

#lem's complaints #opinions that will get me cancelled #/j #i have no mouth and i must scream #ihnmaims #cringe culture is dead #stop gatekeeping #am ihnmaims #txt post #txt #text post

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formulafics · 8 months

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★ ALL THE RUMORS ARE TRUE | DR3

Scenario: in which ferrari’s favorite girl has thing for redbull’s favorite aussie, and has no shame in it. — a social media au

Pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

A/N: Here is the second and last part to this fic! I hope you enjoy, and i’m sorry that I had to split the posts but i’ve tried tumblr on a computer and I just can’t get used to it. Also, this is my first time making the fake tweets so please ignore the little mistakes 😭

PART ONE | PART TWO -> Keep Reading

yn_ferrari

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, redbullracing, georgerussel63, and 457,389 others

yn_ferrari While I don’t normally post about other drivers victories, I wanted to congratulate @/danielricciardo today! An absolutely epic win, and most definitely deserved one. So proud of you. Ily ❤️

danielricciardo Thank you so much, yn. It’s an honor to be on the same track as you. Ily more!

norrisnation what does this mean? daniel-yn confirmed?

⤷ f1obssessed i mean…between her tweet, this post, and daniel’s response, i’d say it’s obvious

liked by yn_ferrari

⤷ mv1defender i need y’all to be fr. she’s literally just congratulating him on a win and y’all have your panties in a twist

⤷ levelupleclerc the only other person she’s congratulated like this was charles, and we know they’re close so i’d say, based off of the other stuff, this is just another sign that she and daniel are more than friends

charles_leclerc sad to see that i’m not the only driver you congratulated anymore

⤷ yn_ferrari you may not be the only one, but you were the first one 😌

yn_ferrari

liked by danielricciardo, lando.jpg, charles_leclerc, georgerussel63, logansargeant, and 657,351 more

yn_ferrari Happy one year to my most favorite human! I love you more than anything. I cant believe I managed to keep my mouth shut this whole time, but i’m so glad that I get to make posts like these now. Many more to come, and many more years with you, honey.

danielricciardo Who’s cutting onions in the redbull meeting room? I love you so much, baby.

⤷ dannyricworld IM GONNA SOB this is so sweet

landonorris A year of being a third wheel. Can’t believe I made it. Congratulations to you both ❤️

liked by charles_leclerc and maxverstappen1

formulaoneacc idk about you guys, but they are my parents

ynswife A YEAR? A YEAR? AND WE ONLY GENUINELY STARTED THINK YOU GUYS WERE TOGETHER A FEW WEEKS AGO?

⤷ gpierre10 idk who “we” is, but i’ve been calling this since october last year

⤷ levelupleclerc LITERALLY. i’ve been rooting for them since the beginning

#✩ . dr³ files 🏎️#f1 x reader #formula one #formula one fanfiction #f1 fanfic #f1 smau #danny ric x reader #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #f1 drabble #f1 drivers #f1 x female driver #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #f1 imagine #f1 x you #f1 #ferrari x reader

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twstddream · 2 years

Note

If your request are still open can I ask for some hc of Savanaclaw trio, Octavinelle trio , and the diasomnia gang reacting to:

Twst boy: what you reading there?

Mc: *walking out of room* 101 ways to seduce a male _____" (ie. Hyena, fae or octopus) ~❤

I’m not gonna lie, I had no clue how to write this. But, I’m giving it a shot. The MC will be more flirty, but aloof at the same time. And just for y’all Che’nya lovers, I added him to the list :)

THIS WAS REQUESTEDLAST OCTOBER I’M SO SORRY

Story outline: The boys notice you reading a book. Now they’re subjected to your interesting reading material

GN!Reader by default. No personal pronouns used besides they/them.

Ambiguous relationship with the boys.

• Leona had few things he cared about at Night Raven College. Those being magical shift tournaments, napping under the shade of his favourite tree in the botanical garden, and you. He often found himself pouring all of his love and attention into you, and you didn’t mind reciprocating one bit.

So of course he’d notice once your attention starts to waver from him.

• You see, just a few days ago, Ruggie had approached you asking for help in returning and checking out some new books for classes. After messing around with Ruggie for a bit (and being told to quiet down more than a handful of times) you both had stumbled across a rather fascinating book. At the behest of the cheeky hyena boy, you had checked “How to Seduce Afterglow Savannah Beastmen” out of the library.

• Nothing much gets past Leona, even when’s asleep he’s somehow acutely aware of his surroundings. You knew it wouldn’t be long before he sat up and badgered you about whatever, but you wanted to control the topic today.

• Finally stirring from his catnap, he noticed that damned book in your hands. He only stared for a few moments, waiting for you to engage with him, but you hadn’t.

• “Oi, herbivore,” Leona finally spoke up “what’s that book you have there, hm? Is it really that much more important than me?” He teased.

• Ohoho, he fell right into your trap.

You held up the still-open book in your hands for him to read.

“Nothing much, Leona. I just picked up a book I thought looked interesting today...”

Now that he can read the chapter you were on his eyes widen in shock

“... How to Seduce a Male Lion Beastman”

• “Hah? What are you trying to start here, human?” he bore his fangs lightly

• This was the time to play dumb.

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m not trying to start anything, Leona. I’m just indulging in a good book.” You replied, all while batting your eyelashes sweetly at him.

• “You’re reading that in my bed, forgive me for making such accusations.” His sarcasm did not go unnoticed. But after that he flipped over and fell asleep.

-------

• After the initial incident, he expected you to drop it, but to his utter surprise (and slight embarrassment) you once again brought that damn book to his dorm room. What’s more, he’s seen that you’ve made significant progress in the book, 3/4 of the way finished judging by the bookmark you’ve left stuck between the pages.

• Leona lets out a heavy, laboured sigh. He knows you’re not gonna drop this until you get the reaction you want.

“I’ll indulge you just this once, herbivore,” Leona rolls over and faces towards you, laying on his side with his arms propping himself up, an expectant look on his face

“Hit me with your best shot. I wanna see you put that rotten book to use. If it turns out that you’ve been wasting your time, I’ll be looking forward to see how you make it up to me.”

• Okay, nothing to worry about, all you have to do is uhhh...

• Being put on the spot like this has made you forget everything you’ve (jokingly) read.

• In your panic you did the only thing your malfunctioning brain could think to do. You lean in and place a quick peck on his lips, quickly retreating to your side of the bed, placing your face in your hands and curl your body away from the lion beastman now sat at attention next to you.

• Leona let out a loud and boisterous laugh, something so rarely elicited from the normally lazy and jaded prince.

"Hahahah! You really though you had something there, didn’t you?” His laughter quickly but quietly died down, and he became serious. Taking advantage of the now slightly-tense atmosphere, he trailed on,

“Hah, in all honesty, I don’t think you need some book to ‘seduce’ me. You’ve got me wrapped around your finger..” his voice died off towards the end but you heard him perfectly fine.

• “Well, if we’re admitting truths here, I didn’t think I’d get this far.” You shyly confess.

• Staying silent, but nodding to acknowledge what you said, he shifted closer to you and leaned in, a soft plea on his lips

“Do it again...”

-------

“I’m waiting to see how you’ll make it up to me. And no more of these soft affections, I expect you to fully devote yourself to me from now on, and to honour me properly.”

• Ruggie has taught you many things. To enjoy the small pleasures that life brings, how to efficiently utilize everything you’re given, and his most important of imparted knowledge, how to have a good laugh.

• Ruggie isn’t one for practical jokes per se, but he’s always up for messing with and teasing others’ when the opportunity presents itself (and it’s safe to do so.) He’ll rope you into his badgering on occasion, and he’s sure to share the blame with you (even if you didn’t actually do anything.)

• With all of his past jests in mind, you decide to mess with him yourself. The poor boy is so easy to fluster with genuine affection, it’s easy to come up with the method of which you’re going to torment him.

• You pick up a book from a small library on Sage Island and quickly employ all that you’ve learned. All that you’ve learned was, essentially, to walk funny. Hilarious diagrams were shown, and you were convinced you had it down pat. Now all there was to do was to, ahem, present yourself to the hyena boy. Even if it was embarrassing you were sure he’d get a laugh out of it, even if your original intent was to set the boy’s heart aflutter (through unconventional means, that is.)

• But then you decided your pride and dignity are more important than doing a funny walk. So you opted to just present the book to him.

• It was easy to track down Ruggie down in the Savanaclaw dorm. He was always running around doing various chores and tasks, ever the dutiful golden goose- er, hyena.

He notices you approaching and quickly whistles in your direction while sending you a short wave of acknowledgement.

• Time to enact your master plan. Quickly jogging over to the young boy, you pull out your prized possession and call out,

“Oi, Ruggie! I wanted to ask you some questions!”

The second year’s tail started wagging wildly behind him.

• You want to ask him a question, meaning you want his help with something? Out of everyone you went to him. Oh, he was over the moon.

‘What’s that you’re holding? A book? So you want help with studying, huh? It’s gonna cost you though. Hmm, what should he charge you, a meal at the cafeteria? Or maybe some help with shopping? Oh wait you’re right in front of him now uh oh -were you saying something?’

• His agape mouth only opened even more when he spotted the title of the book you brought along with you.

“101 Ways to Seduce a Male Hyena”

• “He- hey! What are you doing with something like that, huh?! Are you trying to start something?!”

You responded with a simple nod and a loose smile. His cheeks were dusted with a dull pink, and his widened eyes were twitching ever so slightly. A beautiful sight, indeed. Unfortunately for you, he recovered quickly, his gaze shying away and holding his hand to his mouth to muffle his words and hide his face.

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth, you know that? As compensation, I expect you to help me with this laundry.”

• Okay, fair enough. You got what you wanted. You throw the book on top of the pile of already folded clothes and get to work, Ruggie still avoiding your curious gaze.

-------

“If you’re gonna do such a poor job then I might as well teach you myself. I’ll let you know though, I’m very much a hands-on kind of teacher, shishishi~! And it won’t be cheap either! But I guess since you’re so eager to learn, I might give you a discount. Only because we’re this close...”

• Jack liked his routine, it was familiar, and it helped improve what he considered essential in his life. He can appreciate that you join in on his daily training, or studying. Even if you’re not joining in, and all you’re doing is passing him his water or towel, or handing him a new pen when is runs out. You’re kind like that.

• With that being said Jack didn’t expect you to enter his dorm room holding a book with the title “How to attract a wolf beastman” because why would someone like you do that. You wouldn’t do that, right?

• He rubs his eyes and sees that he is, in fact, not having the strangest nightmare of his life. No, this is real alright.

“Jack! Just the man I wanted to see!” You greet, inviting yourself to sit on his bed, choosing not to make a comment on the flustered state of your best friend.

Jack is stuck in place, feeling like he just got pushed into a surprise ice bath.

• His reaction really isn’t anything other than switching between a mixture of shock, mortification, and the tiniest bit of envy.

• But why envy? Why I feel jealous over what is clearly a small prank. Is it that I feel insignificant enough for them to do this, but then again, in them going through with their prank does that make me special? But would they do this with just anyone? If it garnered the same result, would they try and fluster just about anyone? Agh, thinking about all of this is useless!

• Nothing prepared you for Jack crossing the room and ripping the book out of your hands faster than you could blink. He holds the book loosely in one hand, his other placed on his hips, and holding the book as far away from him as he can, all the while reprimanding you with his glare alone.

“You’re crazy, you know that? I don’t want to have to deal with the aftermath of your messes, especially when you pull stuff like this. What if it was anyone else but me? Someone less savoury and can’t take a joke or a no. I don’t want you getting hurt over such a small trick...”

“What do you mean ‘it’s only for me’!? That’s it! Out!”

• Jack couldn’t stay mad for too long and went to apologize to you for his outburst with an offer of lunch in the cafeteria. Which you found strange, he was the victim of the prank, not you? Why apologize for getting (appropriately) angry?

• He took your fucking lunch that’s why. He’s a damn scoundrel and a liar.

-------

“What do you think you’re doing?! ..Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not flustered at all! I’m concerned for your well-being is all; carrying something like that around in Savanaclaw is sure to bring about some unwanted attention. Of course, I’ll protect you from any rowdy students, don’t mistake me for some scoundrel... I know you were looking for my attention, and now that you’ve got it, I don’t want you seeking out another’s. Heh, you’re crazy for doing this, but don’t expend that effort for anyone else. Only me, got it?”

• Azul tries so hard to keep up his suave businessman persona, but he fails miserably. He’s slumping into himself, face red, with his mouth agape. He looked ridiculous.

• Genuinely has an anime glasses crack moment. He sits silent in his seat but quickly starts sputtering nonsense and averts his gaze, looking everywhere but you.

• It takes a monumental amount of effort to not start reading off a paragraph from the book. But you decide that Azul’s in enough agony as it is.

• “My dear, is there ah- any particular reason for your visit today?” The poor octomer looked about ready to burst, all while trying to compose himself.

“Not that I don’t enjoy your visits and our time together, no, no. Any time spent with you is time well spent! But I- you see- uhm...” He rambles on.

• Standing from your seat, you make your way over the dazed man, stopping mere inches from him, and lowering yourself to look him in the eyes (which was hard since he was doing the exact opposite of what you were doing)

When his eyes finally dart to yours, he gains a hopeful expression. It was a cute site. His faint blush, slightly ajar mouth, while he looks up at you beneath the rim of his hat with that timid expression, it truly was a marvelous site. Little did Azul know, these expressions are exactly what make you keep pulling stunts like this.

• You quickly flip his hat down onto his face, and let out the lightest of laughs, thought it was at his expense, Azul found your laugh to be simply angelic and (begrudgingly) worth the embarrassment.

• It was a quick and easy solution, his last resort to save face, Azul invites you to a free dinner at the Mostro Lounge, with him as your guest, of course. And with your eager acceptance, he begins to plan the perfect date.

-------

“What are you laughing at? My face? You’re laughing at my face?! ... Oh. You meant my expression... Well, yes, yes, it was a funny joke, you don’t need to keep laughing so hard, please exert some effort to keep your dignity in tact. Though I’m not sure you have much left, let alone care about regaining or sustaining it...”

• Desperate to seem actually interested in the subject of the book currently in your hands, you walked and read at the same time. Which isn’t always the best idea, as it’s left you open to stumbling into walls and fellow students alike. But then you accidentally got invested in the reading material, and you found yourself reading it for real, flipping the pages at a rapid yet steady pace.

This is how you found yourself floundering about the empty yet claustrophobic walkways of the Mostro Lounge to your assigned table. When it hit you, literally, that you were so focused on your book that you neglected everything (and everyone) that was around you. You ran into just the eel you wanted to see.

• “Do keep your attention and guard up around these parts, it’s quite rude to ignore those in your presence, not to mention easy to slips things by you. Not that I’m suggesting any harm shall befall upon you, but it is best to be careful. Now, may I recommend reading over our menu, seeing as you’re quite the voracious reader.” He lightly chuckles at his little comment at the end.

• You honestly did not know how you missed the presence of Jade, what with his tall stature and somewhat menacing aura, and also the fact that you were reading this damned book just for him, so he really should be the person you’re most alert to right now, but that seems to not be the case.

• The leering grin on his face clues you in on the fact that he has definitely seen your reading material, and definitely expects you to make your move. That sadist.

• He’s curious as to what you’ll do. Will you deploy any tactics? Or will you stumble over yourself in an attempt to save face? Is that even a concern of yours?

He finds your reaction and next actions endearing anyways. Whether this was all a joke to fluster him (which he’ll never admit it, but it worked) or an honest attempt to study the culture of his species, or something else, he’s enraptured by your boldness.

-------

“I thank you for choosing to dine with us today. And trust me when I say that I’m not just spouting rhetorics, I truly am grateful to have seen you today. You and your antics... Please continue to show me such interesting things. In that regard, I am in your care”

• Floyd didn’t like boring things. This was a fact everyone knew. So to really capture his attention and catch his interest, you decided to (perhaps) step out of character and do something spontaneous. Something that’ll hopefully catch him off-guard and get a laugh out of him.

You already held his attention and affection, of course. But what’s wrong with a bit of harmless whimsy?

• Turns out a lot, actually. All you wanted to do was show off your book to him and maybe get a chuckle out of it, but Floyd thought of this as a passion-filled chase and promptly rose from his seat and sprinted full-speed at you. Which led to you boarding yourself inside of Ramshackle with the crazed eel-man banging on your front door. Grim was wailing upstairs, telling you he knew it was a bad idea, the ghosts were arming themselves with brooms and mops. It as a disaster.

• You half-expected your door to be bust down and for you to resign yourself to your fate of being squeezed to an inch of your life, until the deafening knocking on your door quieted down to nothing. But you knew he hadn’t left, and you knew it was a bit cruel to the boy to run away like you did. However, he truly seemed like a predator chasing his prey.

You took a deep breath in, and approached the door as you exhaled. Preparing for the violent hug of your closest friend. You closed your eyes as you turned the handle, and let out a gasp of air as you were tackled to the ground.

• “Shrimpy! You’re so mean, y’know that? Locking me out of your home when you started all of this!” The boy’s tackled hug had knocked the breath out of you, but he didn’t seem to mind your panting, as he rubs his cheek against yours and pets your head.

“You owe me something, don’t you think?” He turned serious all too suddenly, lifting his head to stare into your eyes with his mismatched own.

“How about a date!?” He cheerily proposes, his menacing air dissipating completely.

Why not, you decide. Spending time with Floyd was what you wanted all along.

“And, you can show me all the stuff you learned. Won’t that be fun? It better be good though, I don’t want anything lazy.” There’s the Floyd you know and love.

-------

“So about that date, I was thinking of taking you to the Coral Sea and dumping some swimming lessons on you! Doesn’t that sound fun? Hm, no? Well too bad, we’re doing it anyways! I won’t let you drown, don’t worry, but I can’t guarantee I won’t toy with you a bit. It’s only fair, you know? Accept your punishment~”

• The devotion you invest into your relationships is what made Malleus sure that you were the right one. The right one for what? Only time will tell, but he’s fine with anything. Your love, your disdain, your affection, he’ll gladly accept it all. So when you threw yourself into the study of his culture and home country, he felt honoured. And he knew that would understand how wonderful Briar Valley was. You just had to.

• So imagine his surprise when he catches you reading what he considers such a scandalous book. Were you, his child of man, truly interested in the courting methods of the fae?

• He’d spend many silent hours pondering on whether or not this interest was surface level, or if it delved deeper. Were you reading just to understand it from a clinical perspective? Or were you truly looking to take up a lover, and if so, who?

• Malleus hoped with all his heart that he was on your mind as you flipped through the pages, that it was his hands and fingers you envisioned when prompted with the thought of exchanging rings and vows, that it was his hair you would keep in a locket safe and secure around your neck. His body, mind, and soul belonged to you, and he knew it. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

-------

“Child of man, I see you are studying up on the courting methods between humans and faeries, are you not? I thought as much. Tell me, does your heart yearn for another when you read these passages? Does it ache with the passion of young love maturing? I wonder, do you feel what I feel?”

• Ohoho, has someone caught your eye, young prefect? For you to indulge yourself in reading something so improper, oh it must be someone special.

• Of course Lilia knows. He knows everything, apparently, and he knows you know that he knows. And he’s gonna give you the run-around.

It’s all “Oh, where did you pick up this book of yours?” this and Any particular reason that it caught your eye?” that. “Anyone on your mind lately, prefect? Don’t you worry, I won’t tell a soul, I promise.” He says as he throws in a wink at the end. You swear he’s not worth the trouble, but you know you’re lying to yourself in thinking that.

• Lilia now hovers around you more (literally), more than he ever has. He’ll pop in and strike up a conversation while you do the most mundane things. The old man can’t help but want to hog up all your free-time, and then some. How can he help himself? You’re just so cute in his eyes!

• I wouldn’t call him flustered per se, but he’s definitely moved by your gesture, now matter how comedic it started out as. The old bat often finds himself thinking of you, but now with the added details of a life spent together. Oh how he wishes to raise some children with you, he hopes you’ll accept that. He hopes that you’ll accept him, the real him, underneath his spontaneity and tailored youth.

-------

“Prefect! I see you still have your nose buried in that old book of yours. Say, how about instead of some light reading, we have some fun. just the two of us, some quality time for us both. We both know the importance of time and how we spend it, at least, I do, and if you accept my offer, I can teach you the importance of time as well. In fact! Why don’t I cook us both a traditional meal, hm? Surely that will bridge the gap between us!”

• “HUMAN! Just what do you think you’re reading?! Do you know the disrespect you are exhibiting towards the Young Master and fae kind right now by even holding that book?!” The usual volume of Sebek’s voice seemed like a whisper compared to the sheer screeching he was hurtling in your direction. The few students still lingering in the cafeteria turned towards the two of you, but quickly dismissed you both. You opted to put on a brave face, and turn your full attention towards the green-haired boy.

“Sebek! Just the man I wanted to see! Come, sit, sit!” You eagerly pat the empty seat next to you. Begrudgingly, Sebek takes a seat, posture stiff and rigid. But he seems to have a softer look to his countenance.

• “You know, Sebek, I may just be a lowly human compared to you, but I want to learn how to love you the way you want me to.” Your heartfelt confession surprised even you.

Sebek flinched at your words, though you didn’t mean them harshly, quite the opposite, actually. He cast his gaze downwards, folding his hands into his lap and thinking intently. Understanding that he needs to compose his thoughts to properly convey what he means to say, you let him take his time. Offering him a small smile.

• Suddenly, he shoots up from his seat at the table and extends his hand towards you, a determined look on his face.

“I see that I’ve been unnecessarily rude, and perhaps even offended you. Please let me rectify this oversight of mine!” The sparkle in his eyes is too endearing, you’d have accepted his apology regardless, but the genuine shine of regret and hope enchants you even more as you take his hand.

• It’s only when he starts to lead you out of the cafeteria do you snap out of it and wonder where you’re going. But you trust Sebek not to lead you astray.

-------

“Devote yourself fully to your studies, and it will bare fruit. Hmph! I see that this book is insufficient in teaching you all you wish to learn. Follow me! Where to you ask? To Diasomnia, of course! I’ll be teaching you myself all there is to know. Perhaps even Lilia can offer some assistance.. No! It must be me! Well, what are you waiting for? We start at once.”

• Che’nya was rarely ever on school campus grounds, except for Heartslabyul, and he never strayed too far from there when he did visit. The only hope you had of puling a trick on the cat boy was to attend every Unbirthday Party that you could. Even then, there wasn’t a guarantee he would show up. And if he did show up, there was no guarantee that he would show himself either. All in all, you were subject to embarrass yourself every Unbirthday Party until you got your desired results.

• Now, Che’nya isn’t as sadistic as Jade, or as playful as Lilia in the sense that he’s gonna drag this out for a long time. He’s gonna milk your reaction to his antics that are a response to your antics, but he’s happy to accept this small jest and he’ll take it in stride.

• Much like a cat he takes a seat in your lap, arms wrapped around your shoulders while he dangles his legs back and forth, flashing that cheshire grin of his at you.

“Nyeh, what’cha reading there? Is it something more important than me?” He makes a show of leaning into the open book in your hands, slowly moving his eyes along the pages while letting out a small hum. He finally snaps up straight and once again leans into the personal space of your face.

“Oh! It’s for me! Isn’t that precious!” He leers in a playful manner. Cuddling himself further into your half-hearted embrace. His tail knocks the book from your hands and onto the ground with a loud thud.

“Whoops! Nyahaha now you have to pay attention to me !” His tail flicks you on your nose and continues to hover there.

“Okay, Che’nya, you have my full attention.”

-------

“Don’t you think that book is a bit old-fashioned? I say just do what mew want, haha! There should be nothing to worry about if it’s true love. Nyah? That was out of character for me? You’ll see that I’m full of surprises~”

-------

I went ham on Leona’s part and then immediately fell short on everyone else.

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webslingingslasher · 1 year

Text

The Last I Heard

i may have a seperate part 2 of this on the way, the idea is so cute.

Pairing: Peter Parker (mcu) x Reader

Warnings: peter do be flirting

Genre: Fluffy/slight angst/ pining

Word Count: 15K

Summary: Peter overhears you saying you like him but you're too scared to tell him, he makes you want to tell him.

Peter knows it is absolutely wrong to use his powers for his own advantage.

He also knows that the majority of common folk would disagree and use it to their own advantage if situations were reversed, and that’s fair to Peter. Everyone at one point has sworn that if they had super powers they would listen in to every conversation, or they would read everyone’s mind.

And Peter did do that at first, until he realized that eavesdropping was a terrible idea. Because you start to feel kind of itchy and icky about yourself, you realize that these are conversations that were meant to be personal. Ned was the one that usually begged, he would point out random people and persuade Peter into listening in and giving him dirt.

It was never anything too interesting, just personal.

At lunch Ned would ask, “Yellow jacket is up in hat’s face, what’s going on?”

And Peter would listen in.

“You weren’t there! You have no idea what went down, like, at all!”

Hat defends her stance, “Oh come off it! You’re supposed to be MY best friend, you were mine. And I lost you to him.”

Yellow jacket is upset at her dismissal, “ You decided that, not me. You think this is dumb of us? That we’re selfish? That this was one big ploy to fuck up your life?”

Hat is taken aback, then stands her ground. Solidly, “You fucked my brother, Jessica. You both decided to run around and date behind my back, and if you did it openly it would’ve gone over better. But you conniving with him hurts, I just lost my best friend and I have to watch her walk around my house cuddling up to my brother!”

Peter stops listening, he feels like he should’ve never heard that.

But he still tells Ned.

Once at the mall Ned pointed to a group of girls, “What are they talking about?”

Peter hones in, then repeats. “Redhead is looking for a tampon, Jeans is helping Redhead search for a tampon. Ponytail is talking about wanting to hook up with Jayson but she’s dating Erik, Bangs is telling Ponytail to do it anyways and Glasses thinks you’re cute.”

Ned grins, “Should I go ask for her number?”

Peter frowns, “No.”

He doesn’t like playing this game so much anymore, he’s started to feel like a constant invasion of privacy. He doesn’t do it for Ned much anymore, only sometimes.

“It’s an emergency, Peter! Like a real emergency! You have to tell me what they’re saying!”

Ned shakes Peter's shoulders for emphasis, Peter bobbles his head back and forth then stops to wave and smile like a normal human when you walk by doing it first.

He lets out a sigh, “Who?”

Ned points to Betty Brant and Flash Thompson.

Peter understands why he wants to listen in so bad, he gives in. By the way Betty looked it wasn’t going to be anything juicy.

“Flash is telling her about how his mom is gonna buy him a new car, Betty is saying her mom’s making her favorite dinner.”

Ned pouts, “Nothing about me?”

Peter shakes his head slowly, “Sorry man.”

Ned stays quiet for a few seconds then pushes his head towards them again, “How about now?”

Peter sighs, “No, Ned.”

—------------

MJ wrapped her hand around your neck after you passed by Peter.

“Waving to your future man?”

You turned your head back, panicked he had heard her. Instead you just saw Ned and Peter looking at Betty and Flash.

“He’s so fucking cute, right? Did you see his hair? His curls are like, fucking perfect today.”

Peter Parker made your heart race.

He was a goddamn saint, the nicest person you’ve ever met. He was a genius, the smartest person you’ve ever met. He was funny, the best quick wit you’ve ever heard. His laugh was the best you’ve ever heard. His smile made you feel like putty, his voice woke you up in the morning but melted you down if you’d been extra stressed that day, and his clothes looked down right adorable on him.

Everything about Peter Parker was your favorite thing about him.

“Careful, Y/N. I may think you have a crush on the kid.”

You pushed MJ in her ribs, “Has he ever kissed anyone before?”

“Why, looking to be the first to settle the land, Christopher?”

You gasp, “Did you just call me a colonizer?”

MJ ignored you, “You know, you could just ask him.”

You laugh, “That’s cute.”

It was. You and Peter were casual friends, you’ve hung out in only groups and only had one on one conversations a few times. You did like him, and you did flirt when you were around him but it was so subtle you don’t blame him for not picking up on it.

“I mean, I think you guys would actually work out. Like hardcore, he’s just a little dumb. You’ve gotta be the one to bring it up.”

Here we go again, the same tired piece said over and over. MJ, Betty, even Flash has gotten in on it, they all claim Peter would be down in an instant but would it be because it’s you, or because someone likes him?

“Does he even like me? Or think of me like that?”

MJ grimaces, “Peter’s hard. He doesn’t really talk about girls, you know? I mean, he’ll say when a girl is pretty or whatever but he’s never been one to be like, ‘she’s so hot, i wanna french her by noon,’ so, maybe?”

You tap her arm around your neck, “So insightful, I’m so glad I have a friend on the inside.”

MJ squeezes the sarcasm out of you.

—-----------

Peter’s gotten better at not eavesdropping.

It’s been weeks of fighting off Ned’s request to listen in on an unsuspecting victim.

Until recently.

He kept hearing his name, but couldn’t clock it. He had his head swiveled around the entire lunchroom with no luck. It wasn’t a constant calling, just casual. Peter this, Peter that, Peter, Peter, Peter.

He swears he’s going insane, he can’t jus-

Peter jumps, he’s trying to dial his focus on his name when you slam your hand down on his lunch table.

“Oh.” When he realizes it’s just you.

“Hi, Y/N.” You grin when he does, it’s infectious. You almost forgot why you approached, MJ said Peter would admit when a girl was pretty.

“Hi, Peter.”

Peter looks to the side of him and pushes his backpack away, “Wanna sit here?”

Your heart lurches with the question, he was asking if you wanted to sit next to him.

You shake your head, “I just have a question.”

A grin, “Shoot.”

You gulp, why did you do this again? Oh. To prove you had a chance.

“In a strictly non friendly way,”

“Uh oh.” He voices.

You smile, “Do you think I’m pretty?”

Peter freezes, “Oh! Uh, I mean, me?”

“You what?”

“Me! You’re asking me? Of course I think you’re pretty!”

You smile, “Thanks, Peter. But, am I pretty in a non friendly way?”

He looks confused, “What would be a non friendly pretty?”

You roll your eyes, “Like, pretty enough to date.”

His eyes go wide, pink coats his cheeks.

“Oh, oh!” He nods enthusiastically, “Yeah! You’re dating pretty, don’t worry about it.”

You thank him and walk away with your head a little higher. Your group quiets when you approach, MJ greets you with raised eyebrows. She has to pretend the whole group wasn’t just talking about you and Peter.

“What was that about?”

You sit your stuff down and take a seat, you shrug and look at her.

“He said I was pretty.”

Flash commends the size of your balls.

You thank him.

—--------------

“Y/N asked if she was dating pretty today, what does that mean?”

Ned shrugs, “Google it.”

Peter gives him a ferocious look, “And what would Google say?”

Ned sighs as he looks over Betty, “Are you sure she’s not talking about me?”

Peter looks towards the back of the class, you and Betty sat next to each other giggling. Peter tells himself not to, but he does.

He hones in, he doesn’t get much. He’s learned to listen in enough to get the details, but protect the person at stake.

Peter’s eyebrows furrow, he wants to listen to more.

“Uh, they’re talking about a double date.”

Ned throws up his hands, his jaw is dropped and he’s looking between Peter, you and Betty.

“Well?”

Peter looks around, “Well what?”

Ned tugs at Peter’s arm, “With who?”

Peter’s eyes widened, “Oh!”

“I’m sure Peter would be down, Y/N.” Betty shoulder checked you and winked, you groaned and looked up at Peter, he was looking at you. Even though he was across the room you felt paranoid he could hear you.

You smiled at Peter and turned to your friend, “Sure, you ask Ned first.”

Betty drops her jaw and looks at Ned, she starts to sputter.

“No! That is not the plan, at all!”

You huff at her, “The plan was to use Peter against me? You’re sick for that.”

Peter knows he should stop listening, he’s caught on, the double date was with him and Ned, but he also wants to keep listening.

“No! I never said that!”

You narrow your eyes, “Look, it would make sense for you to ask Ned on a date.”

Betty turns her nose up, “Well, the same could be said for you and Peter.”

Peter Parker can’t help but feel a bit giddy, you asking him on a date? He would never shut up about it again.

Ned is pawing at Peter’s shoulder begging for an update, he shrugs him off and keeps listening.

“What? No, it literally could not. You and Ned flirt all the time, everyone knows it’s gonna happen, it just when.”

Betty is slightly confused, she's wondering if you two are fighting. Just slightly.

“Do you think you’re not flirting with Peter?”

You blink and Peter watches your mouth open, you’re about to reply when Ned shakes him hard.

“Well?”

Peter turns back around and scoots his chair closer to the desk.

“It’s us.”

“What is?”

Peter clears his throat, “The double date, it’s us.”

Ned’s eyes light up, the thing he’s been searching for in conversation is coming to fruition, then dials it back some.

“Betty wants me, right?”

Peter nods.

“And Y/N wants you?”

Peter shrugs.

“I mean, it makes sense. She’s always trying to hook up with you.”

Peter’s head spins, “What?”

Ned pulls his head back, “Well, yeah. I just thought you weren’t interested. She’s always trying to make a move when we hang out.”

Peter is in disbelief, “She is?”

“Bro, she literally only hugs you when we all hang out. When she gets there and when she leaves, she wants you all over her. Like, now.”

Peter is nibbling his lip, he never thought he had a chance. He just thought you were extra friendly towards him, maybe you thought he needed a friend. He didn’t know you wanted him like that though.

He decides to listen in, one last time. Then he swears he was done, forever.

Betty huffs, she’s lovely but absolutely stubborn.

“Then fine, I’m not asking Ned until you ask Peter first.”

“That’s fine, Ms. Brant. But I’m never gonna ask him.”

Betty huffs again then looks to the boys and sees Peter looking at you, she gets a wicked grin across her face.

“Then I’ll make him ask you.”

You turn your head to see her looking at Peter, you start to backtrack immediately.

“No! No, no, no. You won’t. You promise me you won’t get Peter involved.”

Betty pretends she didn’t hear you.

“Betty, I’m serious. Promise me right now you won’t involve Peter.”

She starts to hum, this is a game to her. You know what she wants and you’re about to give in.

“Betty please, don’t involve him. I’ll ask anyone else, if you’re that dead set on a double date I’ll ask literally anyone else.”

She pretends to think about it, then calls out across the room.

“Hey, Peter?”

You whip your head to his, he’s looking at Betty confused. You start to melt and panic.

“You won’t.” You mutter the words.

“Come here?”

Peter looks at Ned and shrugs, he goes to stand.

Your heartbeat is hammering your chest, you grip Betty’s elbow tightly.

“Stop it, Betty. It’s not funny anymore.”

Peter’s walking over, you feel your hands shake. You curl them into fists.

“Betty!” You look over your shoulder, he’s about to be here.

“I’ll ask him! I’ll ask him!”

Betty smiles, it’s like she's asking you if it was that hard.

You can’t help the smile that crosses your face when Peter not only approached your side of the desk, but also smiled at you first and made sure you saw him before looking at Betty.

“You called?”

Betty grins, it makes you feel sick.

“I was thinking of asking Ned on a date, what’s his favorite food?”

Peter thinks of his next words carefully, he makes sure to look at you when he speaks.

“We’re both pizza kinda guys.”

You shudder. it was never about asking Peter for you, it was about forcing you to say yes.

“What’s his favorite? He strikes me as a hawaiian type of guy.”

He grins, “You guessed right.”

You speak up, “You strike me as a cheese or pepperoni type.”

Peter tilts his head, “Do I?”

You shake your head, “Actually, I think you’re a ‘any type of pizza will do, as long as I can pile as much parmesan cheese as humanly possible on it.’ kind of guy.”

He hums, “Are you a crushed red pepper kind of gal?”

You shrug and feel your cheeks get warm, “Maybe.”

“That’s good then, none of the packets get wasted. Look at us, the zero waste couple.”

“Couple of besties?” You give a nervous grin.

Peter nods, “Sure.”

You swallow hard, you were never prepared for Peter to say something flirty to you, he was supposed to be the nervous quiet one, but you have a feeling he can be extremely charming when he wants to be.

Betty eyes you then looks at Peter, you notice they share a look but you can’t place what it is.

“Pizza then?”

“Trust me Bets, Ned is gonna scream when you ask him out. He’s been dying to do it but it’s always nice to know when a girl is into you.”

He let that last line slip, he’s trying to hint to ask him without laying it out. Or let you know he was listening in.

“Does he really? I swear he doesn’t make it known.”

You look over at Ned, you have no clue how she thinks he doesn’t make it known. He followed her around like a puppy and was at her beck and call. Not to mention he’s watching the entire encounter rocking in his seat biting his nails.

And you were scared you looked nervous.

You point at Peter’s best friend, “Really, Bets? He doesn’t make it known?”

Peter pats your head, “What she said.”

You bite your bottom lip hard to stop the whimper from escaping, Peter shares a glance with you, you’re pretty sure he heard you.

“So it’s an easy yes?”

Peter nods, “The easiest.”

Betty nods at Peter then looks towards you, “Y/N? Anything you need to ask Peter?”

Your cheeks feel hot, you give a death stare to Betty.

“Uh, nope. Can’t think of anything.”

Betty pushes, “You sure?”

“Positive.” You push the word through clenched teeth.

Betty waits with pursed lips and when you offer no more she nods slightly, she can play this game too.

“Thanks for the advice, Peter. But I don’t think I’m going to ask yet.”

You want to disappear, and you are extra aware of Peter’s body next to yours. If you leaned against him you would rest into his waist, you wanted to make him proud again, so he could give you another celebratory pat.

“He’s there when you’re ready, Betty. Stays between us, promise.” Then he looks at you before he departs, “Hey, you going to Flash’s party tonight?”

You don’t trust your voice and nod, Peter watches where you chew on your lip.

“Good, I’ll see you there.” He taps your shoulder with a punch and walks back towards his best friend.

Ned looks at him with wide eyes, his fingernails are nubs.

“Well?”

Peter sighs dreamily, “I’m gonna make her ask me out.”

—---------

“Peter!”

“Y/N!”

You both point at each other then meet in the middle for a hug, Peter sways you slightly and pulls away.

“Long time no see!” He jokes, you giggle along. He’s just so funny.

“No kidding, you know time stops when you’re not around.” You wink to play off the joke.

Peter scrunches his nose like a bunny, “I love when you flirt with me. Want a drink?”

You feel frozen for a moment, he’s not supposed to catch on. He was supposed to play dumb until you all grow up and get married and have kids and one night over lunch when you catch up after years you let it slip that you had a giant crush and always waited for him to notice. He wasn’t supposed to notice now.

“What are you drinking?” You clock his red cup, he’s not a drinker but it’s not a water bottle this time.

He holds it out, “Try?”

You take it and raise it to your lips, it’s nearly empty. You can’t help but think about this being the first time you’ve shared a drink with Peter, you’re putting your lips where his were. The only thing more intimate than this is sharing a bite of food. If you pretend hard enough you can say that you’ve technically kissed him.

It’s sweet and you can’t detect alcohol. You pull back and eye him, he’s waiting for your reaction. He hopes you like it. You pull a face then try it again, you’re trying to place it.

“Like it?”

“It’s like a cherry sprite, but like, better?”

“It is! I can make you one?”

Peter pushed you towards the kitchen with a hand to your back, you felt his palm through the material of your shirt and realized how cold the rest of you felt. Small conversation carried you through the wait, he made each of you a cup and handed it over.

You both took a sip at the same time, you pulled back with a slight frown then took another sip. Peter watched you furrow your brows before you reached out for his own and took a sip. You make a confused sound.

“Hm?”

You shrug, “Your’s tastes better.”

Peter thinks it's adorable, he can only hope that if this goes the way he’s thinking that you would carry this over. He always wants his to taste better, just because it’s his.

“I’d offer to swap but then I’d think that one would taste better.”

You nod, “I think you’re right.” Then hold your own out, “Cheers!” Peter obliges then holds his back when you try to tap it, “What are we cheering for?” You pucker, “Do we need a reason?”

Peter pouts, “No, I guess not. Feels better to have one though.”

You think for a reason then exclaim, “Here’s one,” You raise your cup again, “Here’s to new friends!”

“And couples!” Peter taps his cup on yours.

“What?” You eye him down, did he just say what you thought?”

He nods his head towards Ned and Betty, totally wrapped up in each other.

“Right! To new friends and couples.”

Peter was about to speak again when Flash’s voice rang out on the DJ speaker.

“Friends to the inner ring, losers stay away.”

MJ immediately leaves from the inner circle to the kitchen, “MJ! You’re a friend!”

She calls behind her, “I know you consider me one!” She stops when she sees you and Peter chatting closely.

She nods her head in recognition, “Nice.”

“What are you doing?” You watch her open cabinets moving around the kitchen.

“Making toast. Take my place for me.”

You made a pit stop to the bathroom and came back to the living room, the whole group sat across the couches and criss-crossed on the floor, there was not one space open. Peter took the last spot, you were about to sit in the kitchen with MJ when Peter waved you over and tapped his lap. You felt warm just thinking of sitting on his lap, it was closer than you’ve ever been before. You would literally be on top of him, and if you were to move just right perhaps you’d get even closer.

You held your breath as you lightly rested on his lap, most of your weight rested on your feet you kept planted on the ground. Peter wrapped his arm around your waist and tugged you against him, your feet dangled between his knees and his chest was against your back. He delicately wrapped his other arm around your waist, he was hugging you to him.

“Good?” He tried to look around at your face, instead you gave in and rested your head against his shoulder and rested a hand over his on your waist. You nodded against his neck, he grinned softly, “Good.”

The rest of the party went by quickly, it was just a few rounds of some games but nothing too crazy. Some truth or dare, some never have I ever, some beer pong but nothing that led to anything more between you and Peter. He did however stick to your side the whole night.

Betty and MJ had to nearly pull you from his side to leave, you wish they would’ve left you so that Peter would walk you home and you could maybe score a midnight smooch but they didn’t let you get the chance.

“Say bye to Peter, Y/N.”

You pout at Peter, you’re wishing he says he’ll take you home instead. He thinks that’s what you want too, but he has patrol after this, he even has the suit on.

“Bye Peter. I’ll see you on Monday.” You reach in for a hug, he squeezes you and talks in your ear.

“Bye Y/N. Let me know when you’re home, okay?” You grin into his shirt, he’s never said that before. You pull away and he looks over your face and hesitates before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your cheek, “See you Monday.”

The only thing you can do is nod, you smile softly then step back into MJ and Betty who are ‘oohing’ softly at Peter’s move. You can’t even form words, your knees feel shaky and all your pacing thoughts are screaming his name over and over. Peter grins at your reaction before turning and going back to Ned who is now ready to leave since Betty is no longer there to entertain, Peter feels the same way.

—-----------

Okay, Peter swears this is the final time.

He’s never going to listen in on you ever again, he just needs to know what you’re feeling right now. He’s just making sure you’re okay, you didn’t talk over the weekend beyond the ‘home safe’ text and his ‘good, i had fun tonight! thanks for hanging with me!’ text. After he finds out what you’re thinking he’ll trust the process, he just needs to be sure you know he’s interested.

You were distraught, did you go up to Peter? You got closer than ever at Flash’s party, but he didn’t text you all weekend, but you didn’t either. You wanted to pull at your hair, you had a feeling Peter was the ‘what you give is what you receive’ kind of guy. You swallow the lump in your throat and walk towards him.

“Hi.”

Peter opens his arms, “Hi.”

Your face lights up, he’s never initiated a hug before. You step into his hold and melt into him this time, no more pretending you didn’t absolutely love this.

“Good Morning.” He mumbles the words in your ear, you mumble them back into his chest.

“I don’t want to go to math, go for me.”

Peter rests his chin on your head and pulls you in tighter, “Wanna swap? I have advanced trigonometry.”

You pull away and squint at him, “Ew.”

“I know right?”

“It’s cause you’re such a smartie. I bet I could quiz you on anything and you would know it.”

Peter grins, “Wanna come over and test that theory?”

Your eyes widen, “Just you and me?”

Peter laughs, “Unless you want to make it a decathlon.”

A joke.

He’s joking.

“Bet, I’ll start working on the flash cards. Irrelevant question, what is your toughest subject?”

He blows air through his lips and shrugs, he lets out the word with an honest chuckle.

“Girls.”

You swallow, “Noted.”

—------------------

He was losing his window of opportunity.

Good thing, you and Betty sat with him and Ned at lunch. (MJ and Flash followed.) Bad thing, he couldn’t listen to you talk about him. Peter will admit that it feels good to openly like someone and not be scared because he knows the other likes him too, it gives him confidence like he’s never had before.

You sat next to him too, it went: him, you, Betty, Ned, Flash then two seats away from him, one from Peter was MJ. The table was loud, everyone having mixed conversations, once it quieted down some MJ was reminded of something.

“Hey, Peter. Are we still doing the thing tonight?”

What thing? You weren’t told of a thing, was it a Peter and MJ thing? I mean, MJ doesn’t like Peter and you’re almost sure Peter likes you but what is that thing tonight?

“Yeah! I think Ned is gonna invite Betty too if that’s cool?”

MJ nods, “Betty’s cool.”

Peter then nudged his nose against the side of your face, you turn and he’s right there. You notice him glance at your lips for a quick second then asks, “Busy tonight?”

You hum and think, “I don’t think so.”

Peter grins, “Wanna come over? It’s game night.”

“What kind of games?”

“Mostly video games, MJ and Ned have a switch so we all take turns. But I have some two player board games if you want to play me.”

You give him puppy dog eyes, “That is so cute.”

“Is it?” Peter didn’t know it was that easy, he just wanted you to feel included if you didn’t want to watch him or your friends play games.

You bite your lip and nod, without thinking he places his thumb on your chin and pulls down releasing it. You stare at him and he watches your pupils go wide, he was about to apologize but he won’t now. He’ll let you believe he did that on purpose.

“Do you have Guess Who?” You clear your throat and try to level your breathing after his stunt.

“Think so, I have a couple of good ones. I’ll show you when you come over.”

You look him up and down, “Can I wear my PJ’s?”

Peter holds a hand to his chest, “I’d be insulted if you didn’t.”

You hold out your hand to shake his like a business agreement, “Deal.”

He tells you he’ll text you the details and you lean into him as you laugh at something Ned said in retort to something Flash said. Your head was against his arm, he carefully watched as you made eye contact with Betty, she raised her eyebrows slightly and you carefully nodded your head.

He wrapped his hand around your neck and pulled you into him.

Peter knows he has you now.

—--------------

“Okay, what’s up with you and Y/N?” MJ wasn’t one to care, she promises. But you did consider her a friend on the inside and Peter was acting extremely touchy feely with you and he’s never done that before. Not to mention he kissed your cheek the other night.

You couldn’t shut up about it on the way home, and of course the group text with you and Betty had been blowing up like crazy. You were constantly analyzing Peter’s every move and Betty was doing the same with Ned. If MJ was honest, and she would never admit it, Flash was her favorite right now.

“Uh, nothing?”

MJ nodded, “Nice to know we’re lying.”

“I don’t know. I know she’s into me and Betty wants to ask Ned out but she won’t do it until Y/N asks me first, but she doesn’t think I’m into her so I’m trying to show her that I am so she’ll ask me.”

“How the hell do you know about this?”

Peter shrugs sheepishly, “I listened.”

MJ groans, “You said you were gonna stop!”

“I know! Ned was begging me and I accidentally heard it, and now I know she’s into me. I just want to make sure this actually happens.”

Ned walked in the front door and shook his shoulders, “It’s freezing tonight.”

Peter glanced at his phone to see if you texted him again, he told you to let him know when you were on your way up, he wanted to catch you in the hallway. Alone.

“Y/N and Betty are on their way, by the way.”

“Betty’s bringing her switch so we can all game.” Ned shot finger guns at MJ, she blocked the imaginary hits.

“Sweet. I’m gonna kick double ass in Mario Kart.”

Ned looks at Peter, “What are you doing?”

“I think we’re gonna play some games in my room.”

MJ waggles her eyebrows, “Alone?”

“Yeah?”

Ned whistles, “On your bed?”

“Probably.” Peter doesn’t see what’s wrong.

“She’s gonna think you’re making a move, you know that right?” MJ clicks her teeth at him.

“Like what?”

MJ chewed on her lip, “She asked me if you’ve ever kissed someone.”

Ned whoops, “Get it, dude!”

Peter isn’t that surprised, he wants to kiss you too after all. And maybe that was slightly his plan already, he was trying to separate the both of you from the pack. He just wanted to talk with you more and he couldn't spit game as confidently when his friends were watching and listening. Peter also can’t think of a downside of kissing you either, it just seems really lovely.

“It’s almost like I planned it.” He winks at his friends as they realize he did in fact plan it to be this way.

His phone buzzes, “Hold on.”

He opens the door to see you and Betty’s smiling faces, “Hello.” He reaches in for a hug, you first then Betty. “If you wanna head in you can,” He smiles at Betty and watches her step through the threshold, you go to follow and he steps in front of you. He softly closes the door behind her, you watch expectantly.

“Hi.” He smiles.

“Hi.” You mimic.

He almost kisses you now, he opts for pulling you in for a second hug. You’re surprised but latch on tightly, he pulls away and places a delicate kiss on your cheek. It’s softer than the one at the party, it’s intimate, it was a private kiss.

“Thank you for coming.” He whispers against your skin.

Your cheeks flush, you’ve never felt this seen before. Peter notices everything about you, and you wonder why it took him this long. You can’t help but get lost in daydreams where he was truly yours and his kisses never stopped, even as they trailed down your body.

“Thank you for inviting me.”

He didn’t even look at what you were wearing, he tilted your head up with his hand on your jaw.

“You look pretty.”

You blinked slowly, you kept looking between his eyes and his mouth. He said his worst subject was girls, you think he’s a liar, he’s too smooth and quick.

“You’re better at this than me.”

Peter just grins smugly. He’s better at the flirting game and he knows it. Spider-Man has some quick wit and it’s helped Peter out tremendously.

As soon as you both stepped through the door MJ berated you, “What were you two doing out there?” You wince and suck a breath through your teeth, “Making out. Hard core face sucking, had a full round of tonsil hockey.”

MJ narrowed her eyes, “Oh? Peter finally kissed you?”

This is what Peter means when he says his friends ruin his game.

You nod, “Oh yeah. Had me pressed against the wall and everything. I’m still seeing stars.”

It’s funny, nothing actually happened but what did felt more personal than actually telling your friends about a hook up session.

“Really?” Betty gasped, fully amazed that you had actually done it.

You frowned slightly, she seemed so excited for you. You had to let her know you were kidding.

“Yup. He even asked for my hand in marriage, right Peter?”

He nods, “We haven’t set a date yet.”

Betty boos with Ned, “No fair, we actually believed you.”

MJ shook her head, “No way. Peter’s not the make out in the hallway type.”

Peter makes kissy faces at MJ, “Wanna find out?”

MJ gags.

Ned huffs, “Betty and I are setting up Mario Kart.”

“I’m making popcorn.” MJ backs up into the kitchen.

Peter tugs you into him, “Wanna check out my games?”

—-----

You may or may not be trying a little extra hard to make your butt look good as you bend down looking at the games, Peter’s standing behind you and you just hope he’s taking a little look. Your PJ’s did hug you just right.

“You know I’ve never played chess?” You move the box to the right and find Connect Four, you pass him the box and he gasps. “Never?”

“Nope.” You wish you could play Clue, it was a favorite. You’re gonna team up with Betty to get the boys to play with you, MJ was an easy add if everyone else played.

“Never learned?”

You shake your head, “Never did. I dated one guy in middle school who did it competitively, and seeing as he was my boyfriend and a master in the game, or at least I thought he was at the time, I asked if he would teach me and he laughed at me and said it was “too advanced for a brain like mine.” So I vowed to never play it.”

You stood and handed him two more games, Guess Who and Battleship.

Peter frowned, “Sounds like a dolt. If you want, I would love to teach you. The hardest part is learning what the pieces do, after that it’s all strategy.”

You smile, “Don’t make fun of me but that would be a cute date.”

He laughs, “Teaching you chess?”

“Yes! You would be like this does that, and this does that, and you would let me practice on you, but you wouldn’t let me win cause then you can tell me why I failed so I actually get better.”

Peter doesn’t know why he thought girls were so hard to please, he thinks that's just what he’s been told. But so far all you really want to do is hang out with him.

“We can do it later this week if you’re up for it.”

You grin and nod, “Yes! You’re awesome, thank you so much!”

You also are extremely excited to see Peter concentrated and calculated with his moves.

Peter tells you it’s no biggie, then asks if you want to play in his room. You breathe in and nod, you were nervous to be in Peter’s room for the first time ever, and alone with him. It was slightly calmer if you think about how this is the first of many times you’ll see this room. You’re hoping you’ll be looking at the ceiling a lot more, though.

He points to his bed when you enter, “I’m leaning towards Guess Who first.”

You kick your shoes off and sit on his bed, “Comfy.”

“Just big enough for two.”

The way he speaks so casually makes you sweat. He’s a natural when it comes to flirting with you, you feel kiddish thinking about your lame attempts you call flirting. No wonder it went over his head for so long.

“Red or blue?” He holds up the plastic, “Red.” He nods in approval, “Nice choice.”

You hum, “Spider-Man wears red, I like red. I’m easy.”

He looks at you, “You like Spider-Man?”

You draw your head back, “You don’t?”

“I do! I didn’t know you were a fan, that’s all.”

“I’ve never seen him in person though, MJ has and I ask her about it all the time but she’s just super generic. Have you seen him?”

Peter clears his throat, “A few times.”

You drop your jaw, “No way! Tell me!”

“Nothing special, just the usual walking down the street and seeing him swinging.”

“That’s so cool though, have you seen him just fucking people up? Like when he does that web thing when he picks them up and slams them down? It’s so sick. Or when he wraps them up and like, flies towards them and double kicks their chest?”

Peter pretends to think about it, “I think I’ve seen some videos. He’s pretty cool, he’s got a few sick moves.”

“He’s my Harry Styles, if I saw him I’d melt down and cry and ask him to gently hold me. Like, it sounds crazy but I just know he’s cool. I don’t even like him like that, I just want to be his best friend.”

Peter wants to ask how you’d feel knowing you were about to make out with him.

“Total fangirl moment?”

“Pictures and all. I’d ask him to sign my tits, no joke.”

Peter throws his head back in a laugh, you smile at how he lights up. You love making him so happy.

“Okay!” You clap your hands.

“Is your person wearing a hat?”

“Nope.”

“Is your person wearing glasses?”

“No.”

“Fuck.”

“Does your person have a beard?”

“Fuck off, Peter. I’m moving in.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Is your person old?”

“Ancient.”

“Is your person Sam?”

You narrow your eyes at Peter, “Is this how it’s going to be between us? You always winning?”

“I ask good questions, stick around me long enough and you’ll get better at dodging me.”

“I could eat you up in scrabble.” You mutter.

“Yes you could, I’m ass at scrabble.”

Somewhere after the hour mark you’ve made your way to Battleship, it’s been a close game both of you have one more hit on the other person. You’re starting to feel the pressure, you try and calculate where he is, if you guess wrong he’s going to win. You know it.

You hold your breath, “C-4.” Peter looks at you and builds the suspense, then frowns. “Miss.” You groan, “Ugh, go ahead and sink me.” He smiles softly, “D-11.” You grunt at your board, “I’m swimming in the ocean with hope and a lifejacket.”

“Don’t worry, my one boat will come to save you.”

You snort, “Don’t worry babe, I blew your engines. You’re sinking next.”

“Are we gonna Jack and Rose it?”

You nod stiffly, “I’d let you die for me, yes.”

The room gets quiet, it makes you want to puke but you think the time is right. You told Betty you’d do it tonight, and Peter isn’t so scary, you just hate the feeling of rejection.

“Remember when Betty called you over about Ned?”

Peter has to pretend to think about it, he hums as he’s setting up his ships again.

“Well, she was trying to set up like this double date thing cause she’s too scared to go out with him alone for the first time. I mean nervous, not scared. Ned’s not scary.”

He hums again, he’s placing the third ship. He’s nearly holding his breath in excitement.

“And she wanted me to, like she asked if I would, I uh, nevermind.”

You lost the steam, you weren’t even sure how to word it without making it seem like a favor.

“I’m listening, she asked if you would what?”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s stupid. Are you almost done?” You almost looked over to see if he was done placing his ships but stopped before you would ruin the game.

He looked up at you, “Tell me about Betty, come on.”

You shook your head and bit your lip, he took his chance and leaned forward to untuck it like he did earlier. Peter watched your pupils blow like before, he looked between your eyes and mouth before moving in. You felt his hand move to cup at your jaw, his thumb brushing your cheek softly before hooking his hand around your face.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe, you knew what he was doing. He watched your reaction as he pulled you near him, he leaned in closer. He was taking his time, you were nearly shaking waiting for him to just kiss you, he was slowly building the tension. He wanted you to know he wanted this just as much as you did.

He smiled as he leaned in, just inches away. He brushed his lips against yours, the feather like promise of more. You melted into his touch and closed your eyes, he took that as a sign. His lips pressed against yours and your spine jolted, electricity felt like it ran through you, it didn’t hurt but it woke you up. You gripped at the back of his neck and held him tighter to you, you had dreamed of this for months, you weren’t letting go easily.

Peter moved against you slowly, he felt as you opened your mouth slightly and he took that as an invitation, he smoothed his tongue over yours and you moaned into his mouth. You’ve never felt this way before in a make out session, and this was just starting. He went until he felt choked for air, he pulled away slightly. You made a wet smacking sound when you separated. You raced for breath and kept your eyes closed, still panting you needed more. You opened your eyes to blink then pulled him back in, you were only able to last a minute before you searched for more air.

You couldn’t help yourself, he tasted so sweet it felt impossible to pull away. Now that you know what you were missing you never wanted to go back. You told yourself one more, you tried to pull him in but he pulled your hands from behind his neck, “Breathe. I’m not going anywhere. Can’t make out if you're unconscious.” You nodded and made a show of you breathing, then you leaned in for one more, he bowed his head and laughed. “That good?” You drank him in with greedy eyes, you ached for him. “Please,” You whimpered the words, it sent chills down his spine, he loved the way that sounded.

He nudged his nose against yours, “Please ask me, I’ll say yes.” He whispered his request.

He wasn’t talking about kissing, you knew that. He was asking about you asking him out, you know he was. He tied two and two together, you breathed in deeply.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?”

He nodded and placed his mouth on yours once more, you gripped at his shirt before shoving the plastic boxes to the side so you could get closer. You slowly shuffled toward him until you pulled away to straddle his waist, meeting his lips quickly before he could tell you to slow down. You’ve dreamed of this forever, you were in awe of what was happening, Peter Parker was making out with you, and it was really, really good.

Betty tried to walk in to ask what time you were leaving, it was a school night after all. But she decided to back out and give you space when she saw you busy at work on top of Peter. She came from the room glowing, she couldn’t believe you had actually done it.

“What’s going on in there?”

Betty smiled at MJ, “They’re making out.”

“Good for them!” Ned cheered out, he passed the finish line before MJ, “Last lap, loser.”

“That reminds me!” Ned looked over at Betty, “What?”

“Wanna go on a date with me?”

Ned dropped the remote, his character fell off a cliff.

“Yes. God yes!”

MJ is sure Flash is her favorite now.

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