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#I feel much better now. And I imagine moreso when I go to sleep and wake up.

endcant · 2 months

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bear with me bc i am drinking THC lemonade

whenever my “people shocked by me being interested in consumer aesthetics counter” ticks up by 1, i know that i have failed to express myself on the internet. i am obsessed with commercial ephemera. it’s not that i like it… it’s something deeper. something… worse? better? something more embarrassing, at least.

the only time i’ve ever done psychedelics my profound realization was that i really, really enjoyed going to target. i like the lights. i am always commenting on the products and whether i think they are on trend or off trend for what i understand the target demographic to be. i love nothing more than to watch someone pick up an object, briefly imagine their life with that object in it, and then either put it in their basket or put it back on the shelf. even moreso when i’m watching a friend shop. even moreso when we can only window shop and that friend starts explaining to me what they would do with the thing if they had the money to buy it.

i studied american pop music history in college and i continue to study the history of bubblegum pop in my free time. i want to eventually write up a video or a series or something about the extended international history of teenybopper bubblegum pop. i am trying to learn music industry jargon old and new in my target languages in an attempt to gain access to information about these things that i can’t access in english alone.

i read early 2010s posts about how minimalism was the only morally righteous visual style with rapt fascination. i had a vaporwave phase exactly one decade ago. my friends in high school would bring me arizona green teas because they knew i would find it aesthetic. my advanced painting teacher hated it because i kept painting pale minimalist watercolor pieces that looked like 90s waiting room wall decor. my dream at the time was moving to santa fe and becoming a fine artist.

i was a proto-cottagecore blogger before cottagecore was named. i have well over 100 blogs, considering i hit 96 at some point during my previously mentioned decade-ago vaporwave phase. i do not bother to count anymore

as a young child, i used to go to the store almost daily with my parents and look for unfamiliar packs of gum so i could assess their packaging, flavor, and concept. i *really* cared about this. i got into this because i was given free packs of 5 gum and orange mountain dew at the halo 3 midnight release.

i learned HTML from neopets and i used to code gaiaonline themes and put them up on tektek. they sucked really bad btw.

i spent around 2 decades looking for the source of a single image of an anime river angel i saw on quizilla because she meant so much to me as a child about the power of what mere images could be only to find last year that the artist now draws hentai on pixiv and their art quality is now quite rushed. i think about this regularly when i think about creators i have idolized, and i don’t know what it means to me, but it feels like valuable information.

last night i couldnt sleep because i kept wanting to get on my phone to look at ancient greek vases on jstor

the worst part is i feel that the way that seeing ONLY consuming-or-not-consuming as the primary way to interact with the world is a serious mental roadblock for people in capitalist society. i think that consumer identity is a tool often used to warp the minds of citizens. i think that if i could go back in time and strangle edward bernays i would. i think that it is meaningful that american society has generated dozens of terms for “someone who is stealing or misusing a cultural signifier, or otherwise engaging with a culture or subculture under false pretenses/without doing due diligence/without participating in proper cultural exchange” over just the past couple centuries and that seeing and acknowledging the cycle is essential for anyone working in the arts

ive spent the past couple years reading up on historical art movements since industrialization to see how other art workers have dealt with their jobs being mechanized away, and ive decided to choose to value myself as a human animal who gets to experience the process of making things with my human animal body.

i am compelled to play piano when i drink red wine and i feel that i’m a fundamentally superficial being in function, but i can be more in purpose. like a poster. like a mask. like someone screaming so hard on stage that you believe them. that you look behind you to see what they are screaming at. i think in symbols and colors front and center, with verbal background chatter like an ever-tuning radio, and i am frustrated when people don’t understand that i am speaking my mind when i show them what i’ve made.

i care about aesthetics a lot. consumer and otherwise. it just so happens that i live in a capitalist society wherein the market attributes value to certain aesthetic information, which generates conversation about what certain images mean, what gives them value, what detracts from their value, what they are responding to, what responses they require in turn. but anywhere, anytime that there is a conversation about aesthetics, i want to be there.

i have always loved to perceive and to make, since the earliest stories anyone has to tell about baby cave. if i lost everything that makes me who and what i am right now, i believe i would still care about aesthetics. if there is anything left for even a cell of my body to experience, it would want to experience it beautifully and enjoy it deliciously.

happy 420

#we live in a consumer society -the aestheticer #this is just like #what its about #in da cave zone #🎤

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vgilantee · 1 year

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nsfw alphabet with ethan? :D

alighty this took me a bit to get to, but i am so excited for this

also this is based on canon, so pre-ghostface reveal ethan

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

he's so gentle and unsure of whether what he's doing it right. but he always makes sure to help you clean up. wiping up mess and sweat. also, further into dating and sleeping with each other, he starts keeping snacks in his beside drawer and spare waterbottles for you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i can't come up with an original thought; Ethan Landry is a Tits Man. he loves holding them, kissing them, marking them. anything he can do to have your tits bare

you for him, it's his hands. he's good with them, so good with them. and when he runs his fingers gently across your skin you always get goosebumps

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he loves coming on you. your back, your stomach. loves to leave a mess. but he does also love it when he cums down your throat and a little bit dribbles out the corners of your mouth. it's a little bitter moreso than salty

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he's a little voyeur. loves it when you film yourself getting off and send it to him, loves watching you on the bed using toys, putting a show on for him. yes, he loves his hands on you, but sometimes it's better to watch you fall apart in front of him

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

before you? nothing. he's a canon virgin

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

cowgirl. he's a tits man, so a position where he can have them in his face, watch them move, grope at them? perfection for him. plus, with his zero experience before you, he likes when you set the pace because then he knows you're enjoying yourself

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

for a while, he tries to be serious. he's only ever gotten off to porn and his imagination, and in porn it's almost always serious. but you manage to convince him that you want him to laugh and make jokes and just enjoy the moment, so eventually he's able to be more relaxed. it does mean sometimes he'll bump his head or your fingers will get caught in a knot in his hair, but he's able to laugh and realise that it doesn't "ruin the mood"

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

dark hair on top = dark hair down below. it's not amazingly groomed, just a little trimmed. maybe more so at the beginning because, again, porn expectations. it's definitely not free-range and long, he's tided it up a little

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

hands? everywhere. mouth? everywhere. praise? flowing. he can't believe that you're there, with him, every single time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

yes. lmao no but in seriousness, when y'all start dating he feels less bad for jerking off to the thought of you. and when you start sleeping together, he definitely slows down a lot. he's a horny, horny lad, and now that he can ask you to help him out, he doesn't need to masturbate so much

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

i have a whole post about his list of kinks, but with inexperienced ethan, marking is definitely his favourite

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

in your dormroom on your bed. it smells like you and he doesn't have to worry about Chad

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally anything about you. though i think he definitely gets turned on quickest when you lower your head, look up at him through your eyebrows and mutter his name

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

public sex or anything too risky

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

giving. he's obsessed, loves being between your thighs with you pulling on his hair. get him between those thighs and you're going to lose count of how many times you cum

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he's on the slower side. not just because he wants to show how much he cares about you, but also because he knows if he goes too fast, he'll cum too fast. he wants to teach himself to hold out, and slowing down is the best way. plus he always tells you how pretty you look when you try so desperately to hit your orgasm

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

the above only applies when he has the time. because ethan, the horny horny lad, loves quickies. probably at least once a week to start with until he eventually can get his libido under control. then quickies stretch out to maybe once or twice a month

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's down to try anything if you're down. he's got no experience! he wants to try nearly everything with you! if there is anything you're into he wants to try it, if there's anything you want to try, he's already pulling you into the nearest room.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

oof. at first it was only one. one round and he was out. he was very embarrassed when he used to cum in under 5 minutes. but as mentioned above, he learns to hold off, learns how to increase his stamina

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he doesn't own a single toy. but if you have ones that you ask him to use on you he's beyond down

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

pre-ghostface ethan was Not a tease, at least not on purpose. he likes feeling the way you react, loves tasting you, so sometimes he teases when he doesn't mean to. he's just enjoying his time with you and your body.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

ethan landry is a whimperer. he's not particularly loud but he whimpers, and when he moans they're low and a little on the loud side

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

post-ghostface ethan lets his knife kink and choking kink shine. he absolutely has dacryphilia

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

5 inches, maybe a little more, when hard. he's not necessarily thick, but it's enough to have your eyes rolling

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

very. that's it. that's the whole thought.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he's very drowsy as he helps you clean up, but once you're clean and curled up, he's out like a LIGHT

#˚:✧｡• paper bin #˚:✧｡• anon #˚:✧｡• smut warning #˚:✧｡• ethan landry

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kawaiichibiart · 1 year

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can you talk more about the tenma's relationship with eachother in the au? sorry emu is my favorite character and emu tenma sounds so cute. i'd also like to know more about what's going on with the shinonomes

Of course!!

So, because we know very little about the Tenma parents, in my eyes they're: low key neglectful at worst, high key absent parents at best. A lot of responsibility falls onto Tsukasa as the oldest, especially now that he's a teenager and able to live on his own, even if not legally.

He takes his role as an older brother and caretaker seriously, and he's widely know by his neighbors for being this very polite, kind, gentleman. So they will offer him assistant if they see he needs it (such as when the elderly woman threatened Toya's dad and told Tsukasa to go back home to take care of his friend).

When Emu joined the family, it was meant as a temporary thing, she had other friends she could stay with, Kohane for example, but Tsukasa, Saki, and Toya all made her feel welcomed and loved, so she just, extended her stay until she she's either: ready to go home or wants to go live somewhere else.

Because they're all about the same age, Saki asks Emu when her birthday is. She knows Toya has been the Tenma baby so far. She wanted to see if that changed or not.

Well, Emu's birthday is in September, making her the new Tenma baby.

The Tenma siblings, specifically Tsukasa and Saki, are very close and consider their friends to be family. It's not rare to see one or both of them be worried about one of their friends, that's mainly what ended up getting Toya a permanent room in the Tenma household.

Emu, due to believing she wasn't going to stay permanently, believed she would just sleep on the couch. But she stays in Saki's room.

The Tenmas are a lot different from her family. The house is often filled with noise (she can hear Saki playing her keyboard, moreso since she went to that event with Ichika, she can hear Toya talking to someone, Akito perhaps? And she can hear Tsukasa's sewing machine as he works on costumes and customizing his own clothes). There's always at least one person who will greet her in the morning, at least one person who will listen to her ideas and help her try and work it out, even if it fails. There's this sense of trust between the siblings and Emu, that before long, she feels like she really is a part of the family.

So you can imagine how it felt for her when her bio siblings showed up, finally ready to listen, and at the end of it all, she can't forgive them. She can't go back with them. They don't ask her to, but the dynamic between the Otoris and the Tenmas is so different, and to Emu, the Tenmas are the better option. She felt safe, loved, like her feelings and desires and "childish dreams" mattered with the Tenmas. With her own family? Not so much.

Emu, Toya, Tsukasa, and Saki are essentially this big found family.

As for the Shinonomes, I think by now it's pretty well known that Shinei Shinonome isn't the best dad. He does things he believes are for the best for his kids, such as outright telling Ena that since she had no talent, she would never make it as an artist.

While they aren't as close as the Tenmas, Ena and Akito are still close and can rely on each other if the need comes to it.

It happened more as kids, but they would sneak into each others room when they needed the comfort.

Their dad just, almost always finds something wrong with what they like or what they want to do, and he'll often just tell them over and over why they should just give up just to follow it up with "but it's your decision" or "it's up to you." He's trying to make it seem like he's giving them the option, but his own "opinion" (if you can even call it that) is laid on so thick and heavy, it feels like he's just waiting for either Ena or Akito to finally admit he's right.

So, Ena decided one day, enough was enough, and that one day, as soon as she was able to legally, she would move out. She'd find a good paying job, open commissions, she'd do something to help pay rent.

And while she didn't have to, it didn't feel right to just abandon Akito with a man who didn't care about what he wanted in life. Ena could see how much music meant to her little brother. She could almost always make out the smile on his face whenever he was on his phone with his partner, Toya Aoyagi (who their dad seemed to dislike for some reason, Ena is fully convinced her dad is low key homophobic). She knew their dad was just as against Akito pursuing music as he was against her pursuing art.

Their dad would never stop saying things to "protect" them. If it was meant to "protect" them, why was it hurting them? Why was it invalidating what they wanted? Because they had no "natural talent?" Bullshit. BULL. SHIT.

Ena is preparing for the future. She's getting ready to run. To find real support. To find people who can help her improve and become a better artist than her dad. And she's taking her brother with her. They would cut contact with their dad and his "protection." She'd let Akito chase music and be with Toya if that's what makes him happy. She'd follow her own dream, find artists who can give her genuine critics and tips on how to improve rather than artists who tell her to give up because she has no talent. She was going to work hard to prove to Shinei that she doesn't need him. She doesn't need him to protect her or Akito. They would be fine on their own.

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onetoomanyfandomfixations · 1 year

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Seat 21 - Chapter One

A/N; Welcome to chapter one, y’all! I really hope you like it, ik this is all introductory stuff, but I’m soso passionate about this fic and my ocs in it. Enjoy!!

It surprised me when I got into the prestigious school of UA. Despite the family history, I made it. Though, I think mama was more surprised than I was.

The school map was crisp in my hands, pink highlighter circling my classroom several times over.

Room 1-A. Homeroom teacher; Aizawa Shouta.

Lively noise already came from the closed sliding doors. Bickering and friendly chatter alike.

Lifting up my glasses, I adjust my mask one last time before opening the doors.

Silence.

Eyes on me.

My throat closes, I blink harshly.

Then, back to the noise.

My throat opens back up.

With a quick scan, I spot a few semi-familiar faces.

The pink girl, from exams.

And the electric boy, also from exams.

And, to my extreme relief; Tokoyami Fumikage, who has left the seat next to him empty.

Chastly, I hurry my way up the fourth column of seats; sitting down in the one next to Tokoyami.

Now, I wouldn’t exactly label me and Tokoyami friends. Moreso, close allies.

“Mayumi! We’re glad to see you!” Dark Shadow’s perky, yet distorted voice comes from my left. Turning, I see both of them looking at me.

Thank you. I’m glad to see you both as well. Congratulations. I sign, fingers moving swiftly.

“And congratulations to you as well Hinode. Dark Shadow and I look forward to continue working together.” Tokoyami’s voice has gotten ever so slightly deeper over the break, though it may just be my imagination.

The bickering starts to become louder at the front of the class, drawing everyone’s attention.

The blond boy seems to be aggravating the situation, escalating it far more than it needs to. The one with navy hair isn’t much better, he has blinkers on and keeps pursuing his pointless version of justice. All over his feet on the table.

An unstoppable object meets an immovable force.

“This class is certainly more lively than the years past, is it not?” Tokoyami mumbles, a vague amusement in his tone.

I nod in agreement, unsure of how to feel.

The door slides open; the first person to enter since myself.

Once again, all eyes turn to him; myself no longer exempt. His green hair is unruly, with wide green eyes to match.

His freckled skin and scared expression mirror my own just minutes before.

The navy haired boy’s attention is sharply snatched away from the blond as he storms over to the new boy.

“Hello! I am from Somei Private Academy, my name is-”

“I know! I heard!” The smaller boy puts his hands up in an almost defending position, shying away.

“I’m Midoriya, it’s nice to meet you Iida.” A nervous smile dons his face.

A boy after my own anxious heart. A small smile and a bit of comfort come from finding someone likeminded so quickly.

One of the girls in the class bounds up, excitedly running towards the pair. Her speech is fast, and far softer than Iida’s boistrosity and Midoriya’s anxious yells, so I don’t catch exactly what she says.

But, Midoriya’s heart eyes tell me all I need to know about what he thinks. I barely stifle a laugh.

Tokoyami raises an eyebrow.

They’re cute, no? I sign, silent chuckles shaking my shoulders.

“I would have to agree. Though let’s hope they’re not oblivious.” The bird-headed boy sighs.

A gravelly, but loud voice comes from the hall.

“Go somewhere else if you want to play at being friends. This is the hero course.” A long yellow, Thing stands up before unzipping.

A raggedy looking man in all black emerges from what I now recognise as a sleeping bag. This must be our teacher.

“It took you all eight seconds before you were quiet, and time is limited.”

Sluggishly, the man strolls to the front and centre of the classroom.

“I am Aizawa Shouta, and I will be your homeroom teacher here at UA. Today we will be doing a quirk assessment test.”

The first part I expected; there was no way this man was not our teacher.

The second part, not so much.

My quirk is so limited in its safe use, surely Aizawa sensei knows this?

“Meet me outside on the oval asap. In your sports uniform.” Aizawa grumbles.

A panicked rush overtakes the room, everyone scrambling for their bags as well as the nearest changeroom.

Soon enough, we are all outside and changed.

Aizawa sensei explains that the tests will be the same physical tests as middle and elementary school; but with a twist.

We are allowed to use our quirks.

And the person ranking last will be expelled.

The blond boy goes first, showing that his explosivity is in more than his nature as he blasts the softball across the oval with miniature explosions.

Everyone is silent in awe as Aizawa sensei lists of the physical exams.

First, the 50 meter dash.

My quirk will be of no use here, and I’m painfully aware of that.

Again, the boy with the explosion quirk excells, as does the loud boy - Iida? - from this morning.

Myself, not so much.

The pink girl lines herself up next to me, sparing me a smile before the timer starts.

As soon as it does, she takes off - sliding on a strange transparent liquid that secreets itself from her skin.

Not long after, a blond boy shoots past, a bright laser coming from his stomach.

My regular run seems pathetic in comparison.

The side steps, long jump, distance run and ball throw were equally as pathetic.

I was nearly last, only beaten by Midoriya; who looked about as miserable as I felt.

And the only reason I stood a chance against him, was because of the sit up exercise.

Thankfully, my core strength hadn’t failed me; making me the most successful in that task.

Exhausted, I sit beside Tokoyami as our classmates line up for the last exam; the ball throw.

“How did you go?” The raven-headed boy asks non-chalantly.

Don’t expect to see me here tomorrow. I sign.

“That poorly?” He hums, leaning back on outstretched arms.

“You’re always such a cynic, Mayumi.” Dark Shadow whines, curling around Tokoyami’s shoulder.

I wave them both off, turning my attention back to our classmates.

Most have finished, leaving just one.

Midoriya.

From afar, he seems to shrink into himself as sensei speaks; the latter’s hair somehow floating.

A solemn nod, and my heart hurts for my peer.

Right before he launches the softball further into the distance than I could ever imagine.

I can’t control the gasp that leaves me, hands immediately going to cover my mouth - before reaching the familiar cotton.

“That is certainly impressive,” Tokoyami comments, surprise evident in his tone.

“See sensei,” Midoriya’s cry echos over the sports field.

“I can still fight!”

My heart warms for the boy.

Though, it seems not everyone’s does.

The explosive boy launches himself towards Midoriya, sparks flying from his clenched fists. Midoriya and I flinch back almost in sync, before the other boy is stopped.

What I just assumed was a scarf; entangels the blond boy - Aizawa sensei wielding the other end. His hair raises again; and the sparks die in the boy’s hands.

How?

Oh.

O h.

“Enough.” Aizawa snaps, tugging at the material.

The boy falls into the tan dust of the field.

“Don’t make me use my quirk more than necessary; it gives me dry eyes.” Even from several feet away, I see the scarlet glow.

Oh, this is certainly awkward.

Now I’m certain I’ll be the one expelled.

MATERLIST

#fandomfixation bnha #fandomfixation fics #fandomfixation seat 21 #hinode #hinode mayumi #hinode kaori #bnha #bnha oc #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha x oc #mha #mha oc #mha imagines #mha x reader #platonic!tokoyami x reader #platonic!tokoyami x oc

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halo-lll-odst · 9 months

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hi maybe youve talked about these things before but eyah i have questions for you

in general

which oc was the hardest to design/make/figure out?

which oc would win in a fight?

put the oc you've most recently thought of/most recently worked on into game you've played most recently. are they okay?

for spring specifically:

how would she describe home?

how does she sleep? both the process of her falling asleep, her routines, does she dream, as well as whether her unique design/biology affect her rest in any way

does she listen to music? do you think any songs represent her especially well?

HAI. SORRY MOST OF THESE IF NOT ALL ARE GONNA BE ABOUT SPRING BECAUSE SHE TAKES UP MOST OF MY BRAIN SPACE AS OF LATE also apologies for answering this late!!!!! i fell asleep very quickly after making the send me asks posts, i apologize! - definitely spring. mech isn't really something i've tried my hand at before making her honestly, but the challenge has been INCREDIBLY fun. i think moreso designwise she's a bit of a hurdle because i have to think of all the parts of her and how they move and how they'd fit and what she can scrap together - this isn't a character i've really mentioned on here, but probably my character siall, simply because he essentially has the power of a demigod. - spring is goin' into halo ce.... she's probably not going to survive. sorry - spring has a lot of places that are home to her, so i'll go through them all her original home, at least when she thinks of it now, feels distant and cloudy. she's incredibly nostalgic about it and tends to feel a lot of complicated emotions when she thinks about it her semi, while odd at first, quickly became home, HER home, to her. she started decorating the back and filling it with little trinkets and things she likes. she likes to gently braid the wires in her spare time i don't have the best idea of these last few since i'm still deciding what she does after finally finding her mom, but her basically adoptive father's house feels like visiting a relative's house for a few days and staying the night, even if she's there for a while. a sort of odd but comfortable sense and finally, her mom's current house, with her new husband and his daughter spring goes here about as much as she goes to her adoptive father's house, maybe even less. it feels... stifling, for a lack of better words. she has a lot of complicated emotions every time she goes there. - actually, how she sleeps isn't something i've thought about too much, but i assume that when her power gets low when using her body, she simulates something sort of similar to exhaustion? i don't think she dreams, maybe unless she's on low power mode. i don't know, i really love this question though and i will put more thought into this !! - and finally, yeah she does listen to music! since she spends so much time driving for so long, she listens to a lot of stuff. i haven't decided on what she specifically likes yet, but maybe some more synth inspired things? only reason i want to do that is because my brother listens to a LOT of vaporwave/similar genres, and i think it would be nice to incorporate that into her also. i actually have a playlist for her that's around 60 songs rn? i can send it if you want! it's mainly just songs i either associate with her, that fit her, or i imagine animatics of her to lol THANK YOU FOR ASKING BTW!!!! i lov getting asks so much, even if it can take me a bit, so thank u thank u thank u have an amazing day

#marrsbarrs talk #marrsbarrs art #under both cuz why not #spring #ocs

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waywardstation · 2 years

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I have this thought bugging me for some time now and it won't leave me alone. (maybe it's because of some fanart I saw during the weekend) How would you imagine how things would be for Ingo if his role and Emmet's would have been swapped. (like in ToT that he didn't managed to save him from getting taken)

I can see him taking this pretty hard. He tries to run the Battle Subway alone, much like Emmet is often shown but he struggles a lot. Elesa is there for support but the cruel rumor mill would hit him much harder than Emmet.

I'm so sorry for this random angsty ask but for real I've been stuck with this for almost a week now. Maybe sharing might make it a bit better...

No worries Anon!! Thanks for sharing!!

This is actually quite an interesting thought that I’m sure people have speculated on before, but I haven’t really thought on it until you brought it up!

I do tend to emphasize Ingo’s role as a big brother, and moreso as someone who cares about safety of others. He feels responsible for things and events, as well as for others - perhaps to a fault.

So when Emmet is pulled through a rift right beside him, and Ingo grasped for him to yank him out of the way just a second too late, it does hit him hard.

He still runs the battle subway, upholding it for Emmet if when he returns, but he starts to fall more into that intimidating appearance he gives off. The frown is still there, but his eyes have lost the friendly look they always get when he’s enjoying something, as if he’s always focused on other things. Sleep is now done under his office desk instead of in his bed, finding it hard to go home some nights. He becomes less approachable, in part due to reporters who won’t get off his back, and moreso confiding himself to his work.

Pulling away from public socialization, he might reach out more to his family, with Elesa becoming one of the exclusive few non-family members he actually wants to talk to anymore. He confides in her the most actually, and she makes the days easier.

He was responsible, and did not perform the needed safety checks. Work breaks, lunch breaks, smoke breaks, days off - every chance at free time he could would instead be spent making calls to the same places over and over for updates on missing persons, ignoring nosy reporters, or trying to find information on rifts. He may have let his brother disappear, so he would not let it go until he could get him back.

#train of thought au #alternative event

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yanderefairyangel · 11 months

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Don't get me wrong, I really like the twins and the 4 winds, but the more time passes, the more I wished the DLC had a different story, cause while I love Nel and Rafal I don't think their own experience as Fell children can be read as an extension of the main story but moreso as mirroring it. What do I mean by this ?... well, remember when Nel and Veyle have a problem knowing who is the oldest one because they are born and have been raised in different world ? THAT'S exactly what I am refering to cause it doesn't matter how similar Sombron and Xenobron are, even then Alear, Veyle and the Fell twins didn't had the same childhood. I already explained it many times but because the twins seems older then Alear that means chances alternate version of themselves existed are low and the devs aren't gonna confim it anyway due to hum * check notes* Ah yes, the Twins becoming irrelevant once you completed the DLC ha, ha, ha ! ha...

But because of this, it means that literally anything they can say about their world might not apply 100% to Alear's childhood. So the whole "Oh Nel and Rafal might help providing more about how Sombron treated his kids" falls flat, heck the main story hides behind that to justify the utter irrelevance of the twins in the main story since otherwise they could create so many plot holes Engage's plot would look like gruyère cheese. Moreover, the Fell Xenologue's story feels a bit too much irrelevant since it doesn't bring much to the main plot and it's basically like running in circle when you end up recruiting the one person that started everything!!!

Now, my personal wish for a DLC story, especially since Engage's cut content revealed they intented to put a playable Past Alear would be a bonus DLC about Alear's past. The Story would have taken place once Alear saved Veyle and regain their memories but instead of accessing it through the Somniel well, you can acess it on your chamber, you select play the story and then we are shown Alear sleeping and dreaming of their past and you live again the war of 1 000 ago. Like this Nel and Rafal would have been Alear's sibby and they would have had more relevance in bringing on the Sombron drama family, like this we see Alear in the past fighting with them and maybe another bunch of Fell siblings like this we get a better picture of why Alear cared about their siblings since they were sad for all of them being dead, we could see them intereact and then we have at some point the occassion to see Alear meeting Lumera for the first time!! Because it's obvious that Alear betrayed Sombron to save Veyle and at that time they were the only sibling so, they didn't had any other siblings to protect which means we could have also see the reason why Alear completely turned their back on Sombron !! And then when you finish the last paralogue, Alear comes to see Veyle and tells her about their siblings and tells her she remembers everything and share their memories. So you of course, wouldn't get Nel nor Rafal as units to join you nor the Winds, but like this the story would have contributed to the main one, we could have had even more sympathy for Alear and their siblings by giving them a proper identity (and maybe it would have helped Sombron beat Hilda at worst parent tournament ) because... I like to have dragons units too but with this story DLC YOU COULD HAVE HAD ALEAR TURN INTO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cause we could have seen how Alear meets with Veyle !!!!! And when they gave her the dragonstone !!! So sure, you would have had to fight Sombron since you could have had the cinematic at the end of chapter 20/21 but just imagine. The story for Xenologue being this offered so much opportunity to expand more on Alear's family and live as a Fell child and I know, I know that the Alternate world was obviously though seriously since the DLC Emblem are bracelets from XenElyos and this is clearly explained from the get go, but I can't help it, I wanna know more about Lulu's sibbies, even if you can't recruit any of Alear's sibling due to it being a dream/memories because it would have helped bring more to the story. Now you can argue that for the 3DS game, the DLC didn't had that too, but Future Past did provided some material for explaning how Morgan even exists, Heir of Fates did deepended more on Anankos lore and helped flesh out the Fates 2nd gen even if it was just a Future Past clone story (and more intersting and better writtent then the main story) and Ashen wolves... huh, brough some informations about Byleth's mom ? (what was the purpose of Ashen wolves again ?)

#fire emblem #fire emblem engage #fe engage #fell xenologue

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coleas97 · 2 months

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Monday (Tuesday), the 1st (2nd) of April

I write this at almost 4am so how is that for letting go? I have been in a low mood and with many things going wrong in my life at this moment, I have not exactly been itching to write.

In April, I am to write about change. As the weather gets slightly less grey, I suppose the sentiment is that so do I. Admittedly, this is the first month I feel doing this is a "task" and therefore, I am less concerned about the long-term benefit. I reckon that's depression creeping it's way in.. trying to take over my life again. Hence, why I'm up at near 4am. My son is asleep peacefully and I keep anticipating a middle-of-the-night cry, or a nightmare, or something. Which feels dark of me, but also speaks to my desire to be needed. I am listening to music with only one ear covered. All I hear is the hum of the refrigerator, though.

Anyway, change. It's a scary thing for me, although I do enjoy the excitement to a certain extent. Again, I am generally someone who thrives when there is order to things. I need to know every detail to feel comfortable in any given situation, and once things are set in stone I feel uneasy with things falling out of order.

There are many times in which I am forced to change. Becoming a father is one example. Seeing his face was enough to know that there were many things I need to straighten out. I cannot fathom being a "lesser" version of myself while someone like my son exists. The fear of fucking up his life is very strong and I refuse to let it become a reality. He deserves to live in a world that continuously lifts him up even if his mom and dad are not perfect. I want to learn every tool and know every resource to pass on to him. He will cope with any situation better than I ever could. Because it's inevitable, really. Trauma seems to find me and I imagine that my son will come into contact with it, even vicariously. However, where I would normally allow myself to sink lower, I am willing to change now and read when I'm confused, sleep when depressive, run when anxious, etc. Tonight being the exception, of course. There is too much going on.

In conclusion, I am learning about the importance of change. I get comfortable in situations rather easily. Being a single father is a change I will have to get used to. Being less in control is something I will have to get used to. Having less people in my life for whatever reason is something I will have to get used to. That's life, I suppose. I am trying my best to embrace it all.

I also want to quickly say thank you very much for the kindness I have received from friends and family. I am doing this moreso for myself and Axel than for an audience, but the words of encouragement do help and I am appreciative. Some comments are very personal and specific. That is okay and I will say thank you, but take no offence to the lack of wordiness I may respond with or the lack of response altogether.

Cheers

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perpetual-fool · 1 year

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I don't want to miss you anymore. I don't want to be crying myself to sleep thinking about you.

I thought I got over this, ya' know? I guess it was only the possibility of maybe contacting you again that I got out of my head. I'm sure that would sound completely insane to you, that there would be any possibility after what happened. And it kind of is. Or, maybe moreso that what happened is insane. (Gosh, I've probably already gone over this a dozen times, huh?) At least I can say it with some confidence now. I don't know what was wrong about what I did. No one has ever explained it to me. I just accepted that it was. And I don't know exactly what I did that was wrong, necessarily. I'm only sure of just the one thing. For the nothing that it's worth, I would go about that differently now that I've been able to process it. And ya' know, it wouldn't have gone that far.

Maybe the problem is that I do still believe in her. Or rather, that I'm still absolutely accepting of her assessment that I'm a piece of shit. imagined and otherwise. Like, you'd probably remember, I told you that I was afraid you'd think I was trying to.. ya' know, unless you don't. And I think now that that is what you think. And I don't actually know that you do, so if you don't then that would prove my point. I know that I wasn't thinking straight enough to actually have intent, I was completely overwhelmed. Like, I didn't even have to block that memory out because the whole thing was a haze already. But I, more than not, really believe I was trying to do that. And if you do think I was, well, I'd say you'd just have to take my word for it, but I know my word is shit to you now.

I keep remembering moments when it seemed like you were really giving me a chance. And I fucked it up every time. But I wasn't myself, that wasn't really me. God, what the fuck do I even want? I want to go back to when we were young fools and do everything right. I want to have actually taken your hand when we were walking together. I want to have put my arm around you instead of just sitting 'too close'. I want to have written mediocre songs with you and sung harmony to your beautiful voice. And, fuck it, I wish I could've joined you at your church instead of mine. Churches make me nauseous now, but if I could go back and be with you for a little while longer, I would. I know it wouldn't last. But god I wish I could hold you again. I wish I could've reciprocated your enthusiasm. I wish I could've learned how to make you smile. I wish I could have learned every little thing about you. I wish I had been a real fucking person. I wish I had hopes and dreams I could have shared with you. or even just hobbies and interests. Like, I know there was at least the one novel you shared with me, at the end the guy finally married his girlfriend and they spent a whole month together without leaving the house, but actually she was a ghost the whole time. That was wonderful. I wish we could've seen how far it could go. And well, I guess if had actually progressed into a real relationship then there's a thousand other things I would have wanted. I think my apostasy was inevitable, but if religion hadn't been such a prison maybe things would have been better. And I very much doubt you would have stayed with a non-believer. If nothing else, I wish you could've hated me for who I really am.

What's wrong with me? Why do I still feel like this?

- (what I wish the vibe had been: https://youtu.be/OUuVReJSrc4) (what I told you the vibe was: https://youtu.be/QYiN1qZhnwQ) (what the vibe actually was: https://youtu.be/3YxaaGgTQYM)

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hunting-season · 2 years

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Hello may I request an imagine where (taking place 10 years before the start of the game), the female 5 year old reader who just appeared in Briar Valley with no memories whatsoever, was found by Lillia and adopted by him

!! cute req !! side note that the sex of reader will not affect the writing other than a colored, skippable headcanon regarding menstruation.

Fatherly!Lilia w/ an adopted Female-bodied!Reader

Lilia found you sleeping in a field of clovers

Well, Silver did. One of his animal friends found you and got SIlver and Lilia to come

They were shocked! Lilia moreso than Silver. (Silver was probably told he was born from a field of flowers too before finding out the truth. lol)

Lilia knows the truth though and is appalled to see you, a young child (human, no less!), left in the woods with not even a piece of bread

It's a little worrisome you seem to have no memories, even barely able to grasp the words Lilia says, but...

Well! It's free real estate child! Lilia is always happy to teach his children whatever they need and like

You and Silver quickly attach to each other, and sometimes Lilia jokes that you two are fraternal twins (you two do believe it for a while though)

Lilia trains you alongside Silver (and later, Sebek) in the art of swordsmanship! He's just a bit gentler with you, simplifying his instructions and slowing his words down for you--leftover habits from when reteaching you how to speak

It goes away as you grow older, and oh how Lilia loves you. You've grown so much under his care!

That being said, he struggled a bit with your menstrual periods. It's one thing to hear about them from chats with women but actually seeing his child go through them? Lilia babies you a lot whenever they happen, even as you got older.

Lilia just loves spoiling you rotten in specific. Silver requires so much sleep that there isn't much Lilia can do with Silver. But you're here! He loves playing tag and other games with you.

Allows you to do so much. Try making a potion of jumping? Okay! Want to dig a huge ditch to trap Sebek in? Be careful with the shovels! Chase a bear? Oh, he'd love to join you on that. Lilia is an enabler! He will say no if he feels it is too dangerous though.

Like Silver, you are adamant Lilia does not cook. Why not? He is your father, so it's his job to feed you! Here, special soup for special children~

...It takes a long time for his worries to subside. What will he do if your memories disappear again? If your biological parents start seeking you out? What if you grow to hate yourself if he tells you the truth, that you were abandoned by people who should've--could've--loved you better and more than he?

Now, you're joining him and Malleus with Silver with you at Night Raven College, and the short year you've been apart from him has only made Lilia fonder of you.

You still smile so brightly at him and refer to him as your family so happily, even though he chides you not to do so during your time at NRC.

Well, you are his child, so he can indulge you. For the rest of your life, if you'll let him. Really, let him cook for you!

#twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland & reader #twisted wonderland x reader #dormouse escapes #lilia vanrouge #mentions of other dia boys

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xpeachesncream · 3 years

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how many drinks? | one shot (jjk)

summary: the question is - how many drinks would it take for you to sleep with your bestfriend?

pairing: jjk x reader

genre: (18+) college au, dance group au, bestfriends/bestfriends with some benefits au | fluff, smut, sprinkle of angst

words: ~12.2k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, kind of crack-y, dancer!jk to fulfill my needs, unprotected sex, sprinkle of dirty talk, fingering, sprinkle of a handjob, slight biting, nails digging into skin, oc almost gets taken advantage of/forced into doing things she doesn’t wanna do, rough handling, song kang is in this too because i’m also a hooch for him but he’s an ass here, alcohol consumption, intoxication, mentions of blunts/smoking, house parties, cuddling, kissing/makeout sessions, straddling, breast/nipple play, hickeys, fucking on the edge of the bed, multiple orgasms, fingering, licking/neck kisses, oral (f. receiving)

note: one shot title is taken from miguel's song ‘how many drinks’ + a couple of things--

both hoseok and jimin’s piece mentioned below are inspired by real-life pieces my old dance mentor has choreographed and taught. this is the inspiration behind hoseok’s couple piece; this is the inspiration for jimin’s piece

i’m a hooch for all three of them in this video

enjoy imagining koo and oc dancing part of their couples piece like this 🥺

"Y/N." You picked up Jungkook's call as you sat at your desk in your dorm room. You had been finishing up your bio homework until the interruption came blaring through on your headphones.

"Yes?"

"Can I nap in your room?"

"The fuck I look like? A hotel?" You snorted.

"Yeah, a 5 star at that with how good you take care of me." He tries to butter you up, causing you to roll your eyes.

"You're lucky I like you."

"Yesssssssss!" You hear him faintly exclaim on the other line. "Be there in a sec."

"You know my doors are always unlocked." Which, it was true. So many of your friends had decided to live off campus that you and your other bestfriend [and beloved suitemate] were probably the only few left on campus. And that meant people were constantly in your room, hanging out or using both of your rooms, [with permission] or the couches in the shared living room space of your suite as a place to nap. College, amirite? Why the fuck would you lose your parking spot to go back to your apartment when you have friends who lived right on campus? You weren't just good for smuggling free food from the cafeteria to your broke ass, struggling off-campus friends.

Sooner or later, you're greeted by a fluffy, black-haired Jungkook, looking like his shit must have air-dried with how wavy and voluminous it was. He swings your door open so aggressively that you jump a bit in your seat, swinging off your headphones like you weren't even expecting him. You watch as he flings himself onto your neatly made bed like he hasn't felt a bed in years.

"Ugh, yes." He moans as he belly flops onto your bed and stays in that position.

"When's your next class, you little baby?"

"In like an hour or so, I don't know." He says sleepily. "Wake me up, please?"

"Sure." You realize it's Wednesday, and he definitely has Ecology lab later at 3:00PM. You figured you'd wake him up by 2:30 just to give him enough time to groggily walk his ass back over to the science building.

You and Jungkook weren't really close before college. It was moreso that you knew of each other since high school because of mutual friends. You'd see him at parties and he'd see you, but it was never more than the casual hi and bye and small talk. Maybe the occasional comments on facebook pages and the likes on pictures on instagram. But foreel, other than that, that's as real as your friendship got for awhile. You didn't mind it though, you were good with your set of friends and he was good with his. A lot of your friends attended the same university as you two and then your groups intertwined even more.

But, it wasn't until the past couple of months or so where you both unexpectedly got really close - simply just by talking more and being around each other more. You both had similar interests and Jungkook wasn't the most vocal in his group, but with you, he seemed to talk endlessly. He loved comics and he loved raving to you about Marvel and DC superheroes. He loved to draw, and he'd draw you things every now and then - his most recent being you as a scientist superhero saving the world from overgrown malaria-infected mosquito monsters. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you tacked it against your cork board near your desk. Then, small things like that turned to bringing you food or boba, being stuck at the hip where he'd only go to a certain place on campus if you were there; texting each other inside jokes and funny ass tweets all day turned to facetime sleepover calls and then late hangouts eventually turned to actual sleepovers in your bed, where he'd drape his arm around while you both slept but it never escalated into anything more than that in bed. Although he did fucking hate your medium-sized Olaf plushie that took shelter on your bed - he'd always hike it across the room and talk about how annoying he is and how he's always taking his spot. You never understood it, really.

And then soon, it turned to small displays of affection behind closed doors, where Jungkook would hold you close. Hold your hand if you two were in the room watching a show, or movie. Small kisses exchanged. Big kisses exchanged, making out sessions. But, that was literally it. Nothing else. No sex. No pressure. Lots of unspoken feelings, obviously, but you weren't gonna be the one to bring that up. Because you were comfortable, and if anything, you didn't wanna ruin what you guys already had going.

Like, is this a friends with benefits thing? Maybe? Maybe not? It was hard to label it because it's not like you both determined so, it kind of just fell together that way. And there was really no pressure to fuck every single time you got affectionate. It was cute, sweet. And no one really knew it was like that behind doors - possibly your suitemate Kass and her boyfriend, Jimin, but that's only because you shared the dorm suite with her. Jimin was also one of Jungkook's roommates and his really good friend, so whenever they had slept over on the same night, it was pure and utter chaos. But honestly, if Kass and Jimin hadn't been around you two much, they most certainly wouldn't have the idea.

Whatever it was, it was a comfortable closeness that you both experienced and appreciated. However, the both of you were afraid of discussing what this really was, afraid it'll ruin the dynamic. The atmosphere. Having to come to terms of what it might, or might not be. Neither of you can fully admit that you like the other. Although, it got hard. People did lightly tease you two because you both always looked for each other and were stuck by the hip out on campus.

Oh, well. Bottom line is that you liked your relationship where it was at, but it doesn't mean you haven't thought about the what if's. Jungkook was insanely attractive, and it's no lie that girls swarmed him left and right on campus, but he didn't give a shit [either he didn't give a shit or he was dumb as hell?]. Okay, rewind — to be fair, he would have a fling or two, flirt once or twice. He'd tell you so and so was cute and that they've hung out or texted, but that's it. He just wasn't necessarily looking for anything cause he too enjoyed where he was at with everything.

It doesn't take long before Sleeping Beauty is snoring face down on your bed, looking like Patrick Star with the way he's sprawled out. But, you continue to do your work until it was time to wake him. You gently shake him, his puppy eyes looking back at you after being face down all nap.

"Class time."

"No." He groans. "Can't I just stay here with you?"

"No, dude. Get to class." You chuckle. "You already skipped last week."

"Yeah, but this is a new week Y/N."

"Jungkook." You almost say in a scolding manner.

"Fiiiiiiine." He whines as he shoots up and hops off from your bed. "Are you going to our party on Friday?"

"I said I'd think about it right?"

"Yeah, like on Monday. It's Wednesday."

"And I'm still thinking about it." You snort, making him pout.

"Just come for a little bit."

"Why? You know parties aren't my thing and you'll be too drunk anyways. I'll end up wanting to go right the fuck back home as soon as I step outside."

"I'd like to be drunk and have you there. It'll be more fun!" He pouts as he holds your hand and swings it back and forth.

"I mean, to be completely honest, I'll probably end up going because of Kass anyways."

"Because of Kass." He rolls his eyes. "Oooookay. Not because of you, Jungkook, no." He says sarcastically, brows furrowed.

"Ew. You're such a fucking whiner. Leave." You laugh, throwing an empty water bottle at him.

"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Wanna grab dinner with me after practice?"

"Sure. If you pay." He groans

"Fine. I'll see you later." He puckers up his lips to blow you a kiss, which you automatically reject by giving him a look before turning your attention back to your homework. You were hoping he'd offer to go to In-n-Out because you were craving that #2 with animal fries and a neapolitan shake, plus there was a Target in the same plaza that you wanted to drag him to for new pens and clearance sale shopping. And you wouldn't even warn him about it. He would tag along, no question.

Hoseok stands in front of the mirrors in the studio, pacing back and forth as your dance group learned a couple of 8-counts from this new piece he had been brewing up. Apparently, it was supposed to be a couples piece but he wasn't sure if he was going to keep it that way. He watched to see if this would be better as a group, or if he should stick to his original plans.

Your college dance group was a small group formed by people with pure, genuine interest and love for modern hip hop choreography. Hoseok was the dance lead, with Jimin being the back up lead. The group came together, taught each other pieces, taught workshops for those interested on campus and performed at the various talent shows and productions the school had throughout the year. It was just your group's way of showcasing your talents, something you all purely enjoyed, and it was nice to see the love and support given by the audiences.

"Okay, run that from the top one more time please. We'll take break after, swear." Hoseok chuckles and gives Jimin the cue to start the song back at the starting point. Jungkook makes a funny face at you as he huffs and puffs, trying to catch his breath from the last time you went through the counts.

"Ew." You giggle, slightly pushing him aside. Miguel's How Many Drinks begins to blast through the studio speakers, Jungkook doing his best to sing along and match his tone all while focusing on his steps. Once you're done going through the counts, the music continues to play, Jungkook twirling over to you just to sing—

"Cause I ain't leavin' aloneeee, I feel like I could be honest, babe." He spins to your other side. "We both know that we're grown, that's why I wanna knooooow - how many drinks will it take you to leave with meeeeEEeeeE?"

"You can give me all the drinks in the world and I swear I still wouldn't." You snort, making him frown and click his teeth.

"Too bad that's not really how you act when I ask to sleep over, though." Silence as you stick your tongue out at him. Cause, yeah. You really do tell him to sleep over without hesitation. You loved his company, you can’t lie. "Yeah, fraudulent as hell. I never taught you that." He jokes.

"Shut up, Jungkook—"

"Okay!" Hoseok says, clapping his hands. "This'll be a couple piece. I honestly think it'll work better that way, just like I envisioned it. I'll work with the couple to clean this up before the performance, but to whoever isn't casted for this, Jimin still has a piece to teach the rest of you, so don't feel discouraged!" Hoseok chuckles a bit, giving the rest of the group a small smile. "So with that being said - Y/N, Jungkook, I want you two to do this piece."

"Ouuuuuuuu." Jimin teases you from the sidelines, causing you to put up your middle finger.

"We won’t let you down, cap." Jungkook swings his arm around you.

"I'll teach you the rest of the piece next practice so we can start polishing it up and making it clean before the talent show."

"Sounds good with me." You flatly say, even though 100%, you're pretty excited for many reasons. One, you had been wanting to do a solo or couples piece for awhile, and two, your partner was Jungkook. Your best friend, your ride or die, the dude you've spent so much time with and gave your affection to behind closed doors. It made you giddy just thinking about it, even if you'd blatantly lie to his face later on when he'd tease you. And Jungkook felt the same. You missed the way he subtly bit on his bottom lip when you were named his partner, just so he wouldn't smile too big in front of you.

After practice, you egg him on enough to agree to take you to In-N-Out, without hinting at the plan you had drafted out in your head earlier. The plan that says you're gonna drag his ass to Target afterwards and he had no choice but to come along.

"Y/N, you liar." He groans. "You said you weren't gonna go to Target." He pouts as you follows behind you anyway.

"Kook, I literally just need to get one thing."

"What's the one thing that you couldn't get on your own time?"

"I don't know, I'll have to find out when we get in there." You giggled, causing him to groan again. "Plus, we're here already. Killing two birds with one stone."

"Ah shit, I suppose I can get some bottles for the party."

"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook."

"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook, aheh." He mocks your tone and does that really weird and ugly ass laugh that dudes always do when they try to mock girls, however, you ignore it because you've just stepped into Target and bitch, this was Disneyland to you. Heaven. Paradise.

"Hm, what are we drinking on Friday?" He says his text outloud as he follows you around the dollar section where you begin to pick up really unnecessary items that you're probably just gonna store away in or around your desk somewhere.

"Should be holy water because you all need it."

"Mmm, I don't know, I don't think they have that but we can check." He responds ever so seriously, causing you to chuckle.

"How many people are you expecting?"

"Honestly, I don't even know. We said we'd keep it to close friends only. I don't really have any friends, so that's all on them."

"Ah, makes sense as to how the entire class was invited." You fire back sarcastically. "Your upstairs neighbors are really gonna have a blast."

"They're invited too."

"You guys are so dumb." He laughs when you hit him against the chest. After walking a bit, the two of you head towards the alcohol aisle, Jungkook grabbing what his arms will allow him to grab since alcohol is a little cheaper here than other grocery stores. "Isn't there a limit as to how much alcohol you can buy?"

"I don't see anything anywhere." He hauls about 4 big bottles back to the cashiers. "Besides, I'm giving them business compared to Safeway and those other grocery stores."

"Grab the coupon at least, genuis. It could save you some money." You take off the coupons from the three bottles.

He looks down at the coupon attached to the 4th bottle. "Sign up today and get 2% cash back on every bottle you buy." He snorts after reading the coupon outloud. "More like sign up today and get 2% cash back turnt." He looks at you. "This doesn't sound like a coupon, miss. Where's the ‘get 5 dollars off’ bullshit?"

"2% cash back turnt? Really?" You furrow your brows at him and hand the coupons to the cashier. "Here. God, maybe you shouldn't be hosting parties with your roommates."

"Maybe not." He holds his bags, even grabbing onto yours as you both walk out to his car. He turns up the radio, the both of you singing along to the songs coming through. When he pulls up to the lot of Edgehill Village, he parks in someone else's marked spot only because it's technically next to your door and he doesn't anticipate to stay long. But honestly, that never goes as planned. He grabs your bag from the trunk, silently following behind you as you unlock your door to an empty suite - just as you expected. Kass was most likely at Jungkook’s, spending the night with Jimin, and you'd be alone for the night. It didn't matter to you though, the peace and quiet was always nice.

"You sure you're gonna be okay here alone?" You nod.

"Yup. It's kind of nice actually." You lean forward onto your bed since it's raised a little higher than usual with bed risers, and open up your laptop. Jungkook sets your Target bag down and wraps his arms around you from behind, planting a kiss on your cheek and on your jawline.

"You sure you don't want me to sleep over? Cuddles sound nice."

"It sounds like you want to."

"Only if you want me to." He nuzzles his head against your neck, waiting for your response.

"Kook, please." You chuckle. "If you wanna sleepover, then go ahead."

"Yesssss! I do."

"Well you need to find parking, or else the person that owns that parking spot will be highly upset."

"You got it, captain. Pull up a movie!" He says, dashing out of your room to move his car. He's most likely going to come back in another 5 minutes, being that the only free parking at this time of night is probably on the other end in the gym's lot, or somewhere on the streets [if he got lucky].

And so that 5 minutes sure does go by before Jungkook is breathing heavily when he walks into your room, duffle bag swung over his shoulder with a big, dorky ass smile on his face.

"I'm back!"

"I see." You snort, still going through the movies.

"Hey, let's run through what Hobi taught us first."

"Ugh, I'm so tired though."

"Cooooome on, just once." He pulls you by the hand, his body pressed against yours as his his other arm wraps around your waist. "Please." His puppy dog eyes look down at you, causing you to push him away because fucking hell, that shit makes you weak. Makes the pussy throb just a lil, you know? Christ.

"Only if you watch 10 Things I Hate About You."

"Sure, I don't mind." He pulls up the song on your laptop. The both of you face the mirror in front of you, careful not to hit each other since you had such limited space to fully move around. Running through it once was a full blown lie, being that you both are doing it for almost 5-6 times before you're laughing at how out of breath you already are. You're so out of it and winded by the last time around that you accidentally hit Jungkook in the face, causing him to whine and stumble off to the side.

"Oh shit!" You laugh. "I'm so sorry, Kookie!" You run over to cup his face. "Are you okay? You good?"

"Shit, Y/N. You have a heavy hand." He keeps his hand against his cheek.

"I'm sorry." You lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek, but Jungkook being Jungkook, he looks to the side to have his lips meet yours instead. He picks you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around his torso as he sits you on your bed, your hands still cupping his face. And honestly, you really wanted him. You've always wanted him since this whole thing started. God, he was attractive to you - every little thing about Jungkook was a fucking weakness, but you weren't gonna let up first. Not tonight. The scar on his cheek, his soft, fluffy hair, his toned body, his muscular ass arms, the way he held onto you when you both slept, the way he kissed you.

Lord, he was truly going to be the death of you.

Before the kiss could get any deeper, you smile into it and back away, keeping your gaze on the small, dazed smile Jungkook has on his face.

"Can we watch now?" You ask, subtly biting onto your bottom lip.

"Yeah, good idea."

"Actually, after all that, I need to shower first."

"Can I join?" His eyes light up.

"Sit your ass down. You can go after." You laugh as you hop off the bed, grabbing your pajamas for a quick shower. You literally take 10 minutes, walking back into your room with wet hair and an oversized shirt and shorts underneath. Although you had been completely comfortable with Jungkook, the both of you have never really seen each other fully naked like that. Whenever he slept over, you were both always fully clothed. You've seen him hop out of the shower and come in shirtless, but that's probably about it. You start to brush your teeth as he rummages through his emergency duffle bag full of shit that he holds in the trunk of his car, grabbing a fresh pair of clothes to change into after his shower. You already know his ass is gonna use your shampoo for everything because he loves the smell of it and always talks about how good your hair smells.

While waiting for him, you slip yourself under your covers and pull the laptop closer to you, scrolling through your phone aimlessly to see what's new on instagram. Which, is absolutely nothing, so you let out a dissatisfied sigh.

"Ready!" He comes in, tossing his towel aside and shutting off the lights to crawl into your bed with you.

"You smell just like me." You chuckle.

"It's great, isn't it?"

"Your hair isn't bothering you?" You run your hand through his incredibly wet hair as he shakes his head.

"No, I'll be good."

"Okay." He wraps his arm around you to pull you onto his body, the movie already off to a start. As the movie goes on, you find yourself getting sleep as both of your bodies sink deeper into the sheets, Jungkook still not letting you go. The laptop rests on his belly, while your head is on his chest, his heartbeat the one thing putting you to sleep pretty quickly. He's comfortable, just as you are. He's warm, you're warm. He's content, you're content. You drift off to sleep while he continues to watch, knowing your bodies will be pressed tightly against each other in the morning.

"Kook there's so many fucking people here. The cops are gonna come and shut this down quick." Jungkook shrugs.

"Oh well, wasn't my idea." He snorts. "Shot?!" He hands you a shot that you take with ease, feeling like you aren't drunk enough for all this shit and all these people. "Atta girl."

"Yuck, though." You slightly make a sour face as you feel the warmth trickle down your throat and into your stomach.

"Heeeey, whyyyyy do you look so FaMiliaR?" This girl asks Jungkook in a weird, flirty tone, where every other consonant goes up and down. She's obviously really fucking drunk and out of her mind because for one, she definitely goes to the same school as you two, and she has definitely been in class with Jungkook before.

"Oh uh, my name's Justin Bieber. I used to sing from time to time." He says nonchalantly with you furrowing your forehead at him because what kind of response did he just give her?! What did he just tell her? You're so embarrassed that you slowly turn on your heel and walk out of the kitchen as you hear him sing One Less Lonely Girl hella out of tune, with the girl completely smitten over his drunk ass.

"Where's Jungkookie?" Kass asks as she sits on Jimin's lap.

"Over there, pretending to be Justin Bieber apparently."

"Oh, nice. You don't come across that often." Jimin says sarcastically. "Are you staying here tonight?"

"Yeah, stay here tonight, with Kookie." Kass wiggles her eyebrows, her cheek resting on top of Jimin's head. "It's not like that's anything new."

"Um, I'd rather much be back in the dorm."

"That cold, lonely place? When you could be here, in such a pretty apartment with such a pretty boy?" You shake your head at her.

"Unbelievable." You mutter. Suddenly, an incredibly tall man walks into the apartment, reaching about 6'1 and almost hitting the ceiling with his tall ass. You've never seen him before, but he walks in with Hoseok and Namjoon and for whatever reason, you can't peel your eyes off of him. "Woah, who's that?"

"Who's what?" Jungkook finally comes to your side after being Justin Bieber for a good minute or so, his eyes following yours. Who was he and why were you looking at him so intensely?

"That's Kang! You've never met him?" Jimin says, doing a slight nod to greet him as he passes by. Kang and his fine self looks up at you, a small smirk creeping up at the corner of his lips as he continues through to the kitchen behind Hoseok and Namjoon. "He's a transfer and on the basketball team."

"He's fiiiiine." You and Kass swoon over him a bit, Jungkook giving you a look.

"He's alriiiight. I've seen better."

"Shut up, no one asked you." You lightly punch him on the side, making him lightly groan while Jimin and Kass laugh. The rest of the party, you suddenly have a goal to find out more about Kang and see what he's about because you and Jungkook weren't official. You both didn't really know what this was, but one thing you knew for sure was that it wasn't anything exclusive. You wouldn't bring it up, so wouldn't Jungkook - so was this really something all that meaningful?

Whatever, you didn't wanna keep going in circles about it.

Jungkook fucking hates it though, and he's honestly really jealous that you're suddenly trying to be all cute and woo the new, tall, handsome [but he's not really that fucking handsome to Jungkook for christ's sake] basketball player. Jungkook almost wants to mock his every move and how suavé he is, almost looking like a try hard with the way he's leaning against the wall and talking to you.

Wait— he's talking to you?! You were literally right next to him 2 seconds ago.

"What the fuck?" He squints, trying to make sure he's actually looking at you.

"You're so full of shit." Jimin laughs.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you just admit that you like her and stop being childish about it?"

"I don't like her. She's just my bestfriend."

"Um, okay?" Jimin snorts. "When you sleep at her place every chance you get and vice versa? When she has a ton of your shirts and hoodies in her own fucking closet? When you always get so affectionate with her in the dorm? Sure, you don't like her."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do, you've done it in front of me and Kass before but you both tried playing it off. I don't understand you two."

"Well, I don't like her. She obviously doesn't either with the way she's trying to be all up on him." Jungkook glares at you, his teeth biting the rim of the cup harshly as he brings it to his lips to take a sip.

"Whatever, I'm just saying dude. Probably better to be straight up about it than not."

"Kaaaaaaay." Jungkook responds sarcastically, trying to play off how butthurt he was right now. Cause yeah, he did fucking like you. He was just scared to admit it though because of reasons like this - the fact that you possibly didn't like him back killed him. The fact that you could possibly be using him to feel wanted, needed. It made his stomach turn.

He just really liked you, and god, did he want to be the one in your bed tonight. Whether or not that ended up in sex, whatever. He just wanted to be the one to touch you, be on you.

Meanwhile, Kang was attractive as hell and ouwee, were you feeling him tonight. You were, you really were - except, you could literally feel the holes Jungkook was burning through you from across the room. You'd occasionally glance over due to how distracting it was, Jungkook literally have no shame with eyeing you, almost glaring at you, from across the apartment.

"Is it too forward if I ask for your number already?" Kang licks his lips, his teeth lightly piercing his bottom lip as he looks down at you.

"No." You smirk at him, taking his phone to put your number in.

"We should kick it soon. I'd love to hang out with you and get to know you better."

"Yeah, just let me know when." You blush, until you're suddenly pulled out of your daze by a loud 'ahem,' the loudest throat-clearing you have ever heard in your life. You turn to see Jungkook making his way back over to the shots, knowing damn well he's calling you over. "See you around?" Kang winks before he tips his cup to you and gives you a single nod.

"Sure thing, cutiepie." You bite onto your bottom lip, making your way over to Jungkook at the shot station, instantly pinching his arm.

"What the fuck?"

"Nobody was calling you over." Jungkook smirks.

"Shut the fuck up, yes you were. I know that was you clearing your throat like that."

"I'm sorry, does it bother you?" He blinks cutely, tilting his head to the side. "Besides, why come over here when you're too busy with your man?"

"Are you jealous?"

"Why in the hell would I be jealous, Y/N? Do you." The words sting you, even though part of you still wants to believe that Jungkook may actually like you. All you can do is sigh and brush it off, placing your cup down in front of him as he pours himself another shot. "You sure?"

"Just give me the damn shot." You say, making it your 7th.

And the 7th turns into 8, 8 turns into 9, 9 turns into 10. And at 10, you're pretty fucking drunk even as the party is starting to die down by the time it's close to 2am. All 10 were a good combination of shots and mixed drinks.

10 drinks.

10 drinks is what it took for you to lay in Jungkook's bed at the end of the night, hands tangled in his fluffy hair as your makeout session intensifies by the minute - all due to this sexual tension, frustration, whatever the hell it was brewing between you two after all this time. The both of you are drunk as hell, and it's pretty evident with the way you can still taste the alcohol on his tongue, both sloppily touching up on each other, kisses getting wetter, clothes coming off like there's no tomorrow.

"Wait, are you sure?" Jungkook says, about to unhook your bra.

"Jungkook, god, just fuck me." You plead drunkily, the room spinning around you. He continues to unhook your bra, tossing it across the room where your other clothes lay, peppering kisses along your neck before licking up a stripe to meet your lips again. He hooks his fingers across the band of your panties, tugging them down and letting them get lost within his sheets. You take this as leverage to tug his boxer briefs down, already stroking his hardened member the moment you come into contact with it. The sad thing is that you both are so fucking drunk, you can't even appreciate the fact that you both are naked in front of each other for the first time ever.

You can't even come to terms with the fact that you both are about to fuck each other and cross that boundary completely.

But, hell, what do you care? You were drunk. You got a cute guy's number. You're getting dick at the end of the night.

"Oh shit, Y/N." He moans into your mouth as he feels you stroking him. "Need to feel you." He quickly runs his finger down your fold, slipping in two digits to pump them in and out, quickly prepping you for his dick.

"Hnnng--Kook." You bite onto your bottom lip as your eyes shut close momentarily, your head digging deeper into the pillow the more he tries to stretch you out. "Want you inside of me."

"I got you." He says. You almost whine at the loss of contact until you feel his tip poking at your entrance. He slowly continues to slip himself inside of you, Kook letting out a small groan while your mouth was left open, a soundless moan releasing before you hiss and take in all of him. He fills you up so well, so completely. He was so big that you felt full, bloated, with him being inside of you the way he was.

"Ohhhhhgod." You whimper as he starts to steady his pace, the lewd noises of his cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy filling his room - god forbid if Jimin or their other roommate Yoongi heard this right now. It would be nothing short of pornographic.

"You're so wet. Is that all for me?" He says, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head as he begins to aggressively thrust into you.

"Y-yes." You whine.

"Say it again."

"All for you, Kook."

"I fucking thought so." He drunkily responds as one hand grips onto your hips tightly, the other in your hair as he digs his head back into the crook of your neck, his tongue messily licking near your jaw before he nibbles onto your earlobe.

"Hmmmmgggh, Jungkook. Fuck." You moan as you start to work your hips upward into his, your clit rubbing against his pelvis, causing the pleasure to pool quickly within the pit of your stomach. It causes goosebumps to pierce through the surface of your skin, your hands gripping tighter on his hair. "You're-you're gonna make me cum. Faster." You plead. He does just so, hammering into you, the sound of his hips slamming into yours bouncing off of the walls.

"Ahhh—Y/N." He groans.

"Just like that, just like that, just like that!" You repeat, your clit feeling incredibly stimulated by the way it rubs against his skin while he fucks into you. "Oh shit! Jungkook!" You moan loudly, biting his shoulder as you feel yourself trembling hard in his grip, your orgasm taking over your entire body.

"Shit, shit, shit—Y/N, Shiiiit." He says into your neck, followed by more curses and groans as you feel him coat your walls warmly. He stays inside of you until the both of you come back down to normalcy, your breathing becoming more regulated. He slowly slips himself out, plopping next to you on the bed, but doesn't welcome you into his arms.

The night goes on, the both of you sleeping on your own sides of Jungkook's bed, not really saying a word to each other. Because the both of you, although still pretty drunk, are more aware by the time it's over and it's become so clear how fucked up this got.

You were hurt. Completely hurt. Because you didn't expect Jungkook to just fucking ghost you after that night. You wanted to talk about it, maybe come to the conclusion that you two should just distance yourselves from each other to figure this out, even if it would hurt you a lot to do so.

No.

That morning, Jimin and Kass had to take you back to campus because Jungkook had darted out of his room, nowhere to be seen until later that night. The next week or so, there were no texts, no calls. No visiting your dorm, no asking to sleepover.

Nothing.

Just radio silence, white noise, if you will.

The one thing he could come up with was a stupid response to your text when you finally caved and asked what you did wrong mid-week.

Something along the lines of 'what do you want me to say, Y/N? do you want me to force myself to feel a certain way?'

Followed by a 'i'm sorry, fuck. that came out really wrong' even though you thought it came out perfectly fine. You understood loud and clear.

Even though this wasn't really an exclusive thing, or even a 'thing' if we wanna be straight up, you still couldn't help but feel like Jungkook had just dumped your ass with no explanation and you were still waiting for that explanation to come, whether it would or not. And because of this, you started to see Kang, hangout with him more often. He even took you out on a dinner date and you really enjoyed his company. He seemed genuine, caring, supportive - even if a lot of the basketball boys were the complete opposite. He was different, you liked to think.

And so you stand in front of the mirrors in the dance studio, you and Jungkook awkwardly running through the piece with Hoseok watching, confused as to why all of a sudden the two of you have this weird tension going on. It hasn't entirely ruined the couple piece, but it hasn't brought it together, either. The both of you could barely look at each other, barely get into the movements, the emotions behind the motions. Hoseok had to correct a few things, his 'pah pah pah's' echoing in the room constantly with how many times you and Jungkook had to be set straight for your sloppy steps today.

"Okay, I'm not saying it's bad, cause it's not. But can you both please act like you at least like each other or something? What's going on with you two? You aren't normally like this." Hoseok says, coming down to a crouch in front of the mirrors.

"Nothing, we'll do better. Don't worry." You brush off the entire question with your quick response. Jungkook looks at you, his hands on his hips, lightly frowning at how much you're distancing yourself even though he knows its entirely his fault for running from his feelings and not being honest with you.

"Okay, let's do it from the top." The music starts, you getting into the piece without making any eye contact with Jungkook. Even the steps that cause you to be close and near Jungkook, you look anywhere but his eyes, and your touch is light, trying your hardest not to let any feelings pass through the motion. Hoseok is a little more pleased this time around, but it still doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you two take a break while he heads to the other studio to check on Jimin and the rest of the group.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

"Jungkook, you don't get to ask me that." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, not sure if he should continue on or not.

"Y/N—"

"Save it, and let's just get this over with, okay? I don't wanna be here just as much as you." Your words cut him deep because dear, you have gotten him completely misunderstood and yet, he still can't speak. He still can't talk about his feelings. He still can't save this even though he wants to, even though he loathes seeing you the way you are with Kang.

"I never said—"

"Kay, ready? Let's run this full out and make it a good one so we can call it for today." Hoseok says, clapping his hands to hype you two up somehow. The music starts and you're finally able to get into the steps. The emotions. And god, it's only because you're so hurt by your own bestfriend. You're hurt that he fucked you so good, and then dipped. You're hurt that he couldn't even face you the day after. You're hurt that after all this time, he made it seem like you still didn't matter enough - at least enough for an explanation, for some kind of reasoning, conversation, behind what just went down between the both of you. Between what has been going down between the both of you.

Besides the stupid ass responses he gave you through text.

You get so into your feelings that you don't even realize you're tearing up by the time the piece is over, and Jungkook catches it even though you face away from him as soon as the music cuts out.

"Nice, okay! That was so much better! Let's pick it up next session, yeah? We'll keep cleaning it up. Thanks guys!" Hoseok says. You immediately head towards the wall, grabbing your things to avoid any confrontation from Jungkook, but he grabs your arm as soon as you slip through the door.

"Y/N, wait. Stop."

"Let me go." You yank your arm from his grip.

"Why are you crying?" He stops in front of you, his hands placed on your arms to prevent you from moving any further.

"I'm not." You blatantly lie while you aggressively wipe away the stragglers coming down.

"Really? Just gonna lie like that?"

"Why do you care? You haven't said shit to me all week." You snap back, and Jungkook is taken aback from the tone in your voice. You remove his hands from your arms, and take one last look at him before shaking your head and walking off.

Next mistake? He doesn't come after you.

This was a waste of fucking time. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't let you hurt like this.

You let out a deep sigh before clutching onto your things and walking back to your dorm. The walk from the gym/fitness center was damn near on the other end of campus compared to your dorm. It would be a good 10 minute walk if you really took your time. A good 10 minutes to ponder on your thoughts.

Yes, you liked Jungkook. You really liked him. Having sex with him solidified those feelings even more. How could you not have feelings for your bestfriend after all the moments you've shared? Was it your fault for assuming that? Was it your fault for walking through that door when it seemed to be completely open for you?

"Sup." Kang comes out of nowhere, pulling you out of your thoughts. He swings his arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you closer to his body. "Just got out of practice?"

"Sure did." You give him a toothless smile. Yes, he was attractive as hell. He always will be. But, even with the time you spent together, the date he took you on, he still couldn't make you feel the way Jungkook has been able to make you feel.

"How was it?"

"Um, it was alright. Nothing new really, just cleaning up the piece before the show. You're going right?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He smiles down at you. "Listen, I don't know if you've heard, but there's another party tonight."

"A party? It's Wednesday." You snort.

"Yeah, I mean, one of the boys on the Lacrosse team is throwing it at his family house because his parents will be gone. Wanna come? I'll pick you up. We don't have to stay for long." You looked at your watch.

"What time is it at?"

"Like 9ish?" Enough time for you to shower and get a quick dinner in your belly. Why the hell not? You were caught up for the week. You didn't have any pressing assignments that were due asap.

"Sure. I'll come."

"Cool. See you later then?" He says, about to part ways with you. You simply give him a nod before walking deeper into Edgehill village. You hoped you wouldn't regret this tonight, and you really hoped he meant it when he said you two didn't have to stay for long. You drag yourself into your room, seeing Kass' door wide open, revealing her packing up her duffle bag.

"Hey, where are you headed during the middle of the week?"

"My two classes got cancelled for tomorrow so me and Jiminie are heading out for a mini getaway for our anniversary." You cross your arms and smile. "He's just gonna catch up on shit when we get back I guess." She laughs.

"That sounds cute. I hope you have loads of fun this weekend, babe."

"What are you gonna do?" Kass and Jimin were obviously aware of everything happening between you and Jungkook being that they had to be the ones to take you home. They never pressed on it though, knowing you both were still pretty upset about how things were playing out. They figured you two would eventually work it out, but until then, they would just sit back and keep their mouths shut. You two were being completely stubborn, but it wasn't their relationship to fix.

"Well, there's this party Kang wants to take me to tonight."

"The Lacrosse party? Messy." She laughs. "Be careful, but also have fun, yeah? I still don’t know if I trust him.”

"Yeah I know."

"Tell me how it goes!"

"I will." You wave her off as you head into your room and shut the door. You figured you would just grab dinner on campus to avoid spending more money than you should; after all, dinner seemed to be pretty bomb tonight. You didn't mind going alone, sometimes Namjoon would join you, asking for you to bring him a plate of food while he does the hard job of sneaking inside the cafeteria through the back door. He usually waits for you at a free table and ends up staying there to have dinner with you, updating you on how life has been, how school has been. Sometimes Hoseok would join you, too. Either way, you didn't mind if no one joined. It was nice to have dinner by yourself from time to time.

You get there on time to be able to grab some food, eat quietly and head out before the cafeteria gets way too busy for your liking. You slip into the shower and throw on a mini skirt, a crop top and a denim jacket, lightly fluffing your hair in the mirror and adding a dab of lip gloss to your lips before Kang is calling you to tell you he's outside your dorm. He's wearing something similar to your color palette, however, you don't make much out of it since this also wasn't really an exclusive thing and you sure as hell weren't going around telling people you and Kang had a thing going on.

To him, you two might be a thing. You've definitely overheard people talking about you two in passing.

To you though, you two definitely weren't. And it was a big fuck you to Jungkook for that.

The house is packed from end to end already, and you're surprised being that it has barely hit 10 minutes since the party was expected to take off. Kang is having to park down the hill, allowing you to hop onto his back for a quick piggy back ride up until you reach the front of the house. There's people already fucked up out on the lawn [you figured they fucked themselves over during their pre-game session cause that shit really happens from time to time], either laying there drunkily or yacking on a free patch of grass.

Gross.

Messy, indeed.

Some people are posted, smoking blunts and offering it to people who were passing by. You and Kang both pass up on it, the idea of not knowing where it has been not sitting right with you. You both head straight to the bottles, taking shots and downing mixed drinks to chase it with so that you can catch up with majority of the crowd. Kang has his arm around your shoulder throughout the night, keeping you close to him, even when he's getting pretty drunk. You realize he's a little more handsy than usual, a little more touchy than you expected him to be. It doesn't bother you for a minute, until he really tries to hike up your skirt while you sit on his lap. You gently shoo his hand away, playing it off while he nuzzles his head against your neck.

"Let's go upstairs, babe." He says, the pet name sounding incredibly off coming from him. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you really just weren't in the mood. It just didn't sound cute, if that even makes sense?

"Okay." You respond stupidly, not wanting to cause a scene at a lacrosse party. You intertwine your fingers with his as he leads the way up the stairs, eyeing the doors as they come into view. He leans forward towards each door, making sure it's clear before opening it. You assume he finally finds one that he's satisfied with when you catch the small smirk that grows at the corner of his lips when he turns the door knob and brings you inside. He pulls you into a deep, rough kiss, one that doesn't even allow you to breathe and process what the fuck is even going on. You can't get into it for the life of you, no matter how hard you try to back away. "Wait, wait."

"What's wrong, baby? Isn't this what you wanted?" He says, kissing down your neck as he drops his jacket to the floor. He gently pushes you onto the bed, his hands traveling up your skirt as you lay there trying to push him off.

"Wait, stop." He doesn't listen. He continues until his hands are literally hooking onto your panties, his finger swiping down your clothed folds. You try fighting him off, but he's way stronger than you. He continues to be aggressive, forcefully trying to shove your panties down until you muster up all the energy you have to finally push him off of you completely. "Stop!"

"What the fuck? I thought you wanted this?"

"Who the hell said that?"

"Are you serious? The way that you're dressed and the way that you look at me. The way you approached me at your friend's party - isn't it all because of this? Because you wanted me? Why are you backing out now?"

"Jesus, get over yourself." You stand, fixing your skirt back down. He furrows his brows at you before his hand grips your arm tightly, shoving you against the wall.

"The fuck, you can't just leave without giving me anything. I brought you here to this party."

"Let me go! You're fucking sick. No one even told you I wanted this to go down. I don't know who you think you are, but you need to get yourself together and stop assuming every pussy is yours to take." He attempts to pin you, his hand holding up both of your hands against the wall while the other tries to pull up your skirt. Someone accidentally opens the door, distracting him and giving you leverage to shove him off and get the fuck away. You dart down the steps, fixing your skirt as you head outside and away from the house.

Fuck, you're far from campus. And Kass and Jimin aren't around.

God.

You groan and run your hand through your hair as you continue to walk down the hill and into the neighborhood to get as far away as possible from that house and that gross ass dude. He was literally just like the rest of the basketball team. You've heard stories and they weren't nice. Looks like he was trained well already, and that shit was sad. What a waste. A beautiful human being with such a nasty, sick mindset. You hoped other girls hadn't fallen for his shit.

Ugh, it sends shivers down your spine. Bad shivers.

"Hello? Y/N?"

"Kook, can you come pick me up please?"

"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Where are you?"

"I'll drop my location. Please hurry." You say, looking back to make sure your coast was clear. You drop the pin into your text thread with Jungkook and sit on the curb until his arrival. It's getting pretty chilly out, and the denim jacket you're wearing fails to provide you with the warmth you're looking for. Sooner or later, Jungkook is pulling up, damn near hopping out before he can shift the gear into park.

"You okay? What happened?" He says, opening the door for you before rushing over to the driver's seat.

"Nothing, can we just go back to your place?" He nods silently, and doesn't press any further after hearing your tone. He watches from his peripherals how you fiddle with your fingers and constantly reach to pull your skirt down even though he doesn't think there's any other way you could pull it down even more. He watches as he parks the car on the curb in front of his apartment how you simply undo your seatbelt and hop out to walk straight into his apartment. He watches as you welcome yourself into his closet and pick out some clothes for you to change in.

You were hurt, and his blood boils thinking about who could've done this and what they could have possibly done.

I mean, no. He knows who did this, but the question was what exactly did he try?

He hears the shower turn on, then quickly get turned off after a good 5 minutes. You had stepped in for a quick body shower, using Jungkook's bodywash just to rid yourself of feeling gross. Feeling gross from being shoulder to shoulder all night long, people breathing down your neck. Kang touching you inappropriately. You slip into Jungkook's clothes, his scent wrapping around you entirely. When you head back into the room, Jungkook has his headset back on as he faces his computer, logging back onto his game of League of Legends. You silently toss your dirty clothes to the side of his room, making a mental note to grab it tomorrow morning and toss it straight into the laundry.

Straight into a fire, perhaps. But you loved those clothes so much, it was unfortunate it'd have such a horrible memory to go with it.

Jungkook slowly removes his headset again and removes himself from his game before he heads over and sits on the edge of his bed. You simply look at him, pursing your lips tightly together to prevent yourself from crying.

But he can tell.

"What happened Y/N?" The question triggers you, making you cry into your hands as he sits there, dumbfounded and worried at how he can fix this and make you feel better. "Look, you don't have to tell me all the details but please tell me how I can help. At least tell me if I need to beat Kang's ass." He says, pulling you into his arms.

"He tried to fucking take advantage of me." You mumble as you remove your face from your hands.

"He did what?" He manages to ask even though he has a hard time swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He already assumed you had placed him in the same category as Kang even though he never intended to take advantage of you. He really took that night as something special [even drunk], and he never meant to make you feel like you were a used object. Not like Kang.

"He-he," You sniffed. "He tried to force me into having sex with him. He took me upstairs at that lacrosse guy's party or whoever the hell it even was, and he started to aggressively kiss me. And then he tried to force my panties down and touch me there, and—"

"Okay, please don't go on or else I'll literally go over there and tear his ass apart right now. I promise you." He says sternly, his jaw clenching tightly. "God, fuck. I'm so sorry Y/N. I can't apologize on his behalf but fuck, you didn't deserve that." He uses his sweater to wipe your tears.

"I don't even know why I'm crying, this shit isn't even worth it." You groaned. "It's just overwhelming to process, I guess."

"That's okay." He says, letting out a sigh as he brushes his hand through your hair and continues to wipe the stragglers falling from your eyes. "Anything I can get you right now?"

"No, I'm probably just gonna go to bed." He nods. "Thank you for picking me up."

"Of course. You know I'll always be there." He says. You slip yourself into his sheets, watching as he makes his way back to his desk. But fuck, the only thing you needed right now was him. You didn't want this distance anymore, and you just wanted to be comforted in true Jungkook fashion.

"Wait."

"Hm?" He hums as he has a hand placed on the head of his chair while he turns to you.

"Can you just lay with me?"

"Yeah." He says, shutting off his computer before making his way over to you in the dark. You feel him slip in next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders so he can pull you close and onto his chest. "Better?"

"Yeah." You say, shutting your eyes as you listen to his heart beat.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?"

"I never meant to take advantage of you, or make you feel like I used you that one night." Silence. "It was dumb of me, but I just— I had trouble coming to terms with my feelings. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, but I thought fuck it, at least you would know, right?"

"What are you talking about, Kook?" You ask, close to a whisper.

"I'm saying that I really fucking like you, Y/N. No, that's not right." He curses himself. "I-I uh, I'm in love with you. And I don't know if I messed this up already with the way I acted, god I hope not, but you at least deserve to know that I truly do value you and that you mean alot to me. That night, even though we were pretty plastered, it meant a lot to me. It was more than just sex and I'm sure you felt that too." He waits for your response as his fingers rake through your hair. "Please say something, anything."

"I feel the same way, Jungkook. You're an idiot for running off, but I couldn't even stay mad at you. You just know how to hit my soft spots and I can never say no to it. Can never turn my back on it." He presses a kiss against the top of your head.

"Fuck, I'm really glad to hear that cause I don't know what I would have done besides cry if you rejected me." You playfully hit his chest.

"You're annoying." You jokingly say as you chuckle.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."

"It's okay." You look up to press your lips against his before laying back down.

"And Kang better be fucking glad you're pressed against my body right now because I'm still looking to beat his ass."

"He's not even worth it." Is the last thing you say before you find yourself drifting into a deep sleep, in the comfort of Jungkook's arms.

"You two feeling okay? Nervous?" You and Jungkook shake your heads. "Good, you guys got this. You've been looking amazing during practice, the audience will love you two, no doubt. Just remember to show emotions through expressions and hit every beat sharply." Hoseok nods in unison with the both of you.

"Got it, thanks Hobi." You smile at him toothlessly. You and Jungkook patiently waited for your turn backstage, the talent show already off to a wild and fun start. So many students came by to showcase their talents - from beatboxing, open mic, freestyling [like Yoongi did], dancing, singing, you name it. It was always a fun time at the talent show, and it was always nice to see people getting love for the shit they loved to do.

"You're up next." Hoseok says. "I'll be in the front row. Kick ass and have fun!" He says as he rushes off towards the opposite end to head back out to his seat in the theater.

"Ready?" Jungkook holds out his hand for you to take.

"I think so." You playfully respond as the backstage crew is rushing out the previous talent and rushing you two in to take your places on stage. The lights pick up as soon as the music starts, Kang's big ass head already in full view for you. He's definitely not smiling, no, he has a look of pure disgust because he simply couldn't get what he wanted from you.

And boy, who's fault was that? Not yours, no sir. It was his fault for thinking he had it like that.

But anyways, you're feeling the music, you're feeling the piece because you're dancing with your bestfriend and there wasn't this grey area anymore. It was easier to get into the motions, to get into the feeling, especially when things felt right between the two of you.

And God, what else is more attractive than Jeon Jungkook hitting his 8 counts so smoothly, with just enough umph to make it pop but make it pop cleanly.

Yo, please. I beg. Send some help. You could literally melt on stage.

The moments where Jungkook has to be close to you, where he has to touch you - you let him, and you touch him with meaning. You don't stray away this time because you have no reason to. The crowd is cheering, lots of 'ou's' and 'aw's' erupting from various places in the theater.

"Pretty lady." Jungkook whispers in your ear as the move requires his hands to be placed on your hips for a quick moment. You hear him slightly singing along to the song as he parts from you, causing you to blush.

Sooner or later, the couple piece is over and the song is transitioning to Jimin's piece, you and Jungkook rushing off the stage so the next group can take their positions. Jimin wanted to test his limits, creating a piece a little different than his usual taste - Chris Brown's Came to Do begins blaring through the theater speakers. You immediately jump into Jungkook's arms once you both reach backstage, the both of you immensely happy and pumped that you got through the piece without messing up one step or beat. It went so smoothly that Hoseok was standing in the front row, clapping and cheering in typical Hoseok fashion. You intertwine your fingers with his, slipping through the side door to catch Jimin's piece on stage. You and Jungkook are cheering them on, always impressed by the shit your friends can come up with. You both loved dancing, but you couldn't even imagine coming up with your own pieces to teach people.

That night after the show, everyone heads to a nearby restaurant for dinner with everyone. You all take up almost an entire section of the restaurant, splitting two long tables to accommodate the entire group with doubled the waitresses to take your orders. You settle for water, splitting an abnormally huge and filled deep dish pizza with Jimin, Kass and Jungkook. It was a good day, a good night, everyone at the table happily eating and chatting it up over dinner. You turn down any drinks because to be honest, drinks lowkey make you queasy just from the thought of how much you drank at Jungkook's apartment, plus the added bonus of that party Kang took you to. Jungkook declines as well, knowing he has to drive you back safely.

Jimin and Kass head back to the apartment because Yoongi says he's gonna hang out with Joon And Hoseok for a bit, and they warn you and Jungkook that things may get loud so the both of you decide to really stick to the plan of bringing you back to the dorm. Jungkook does his usual routine of dropping you off first before finding parking around campus. You hop in the shower and come out in Jungkook's oversized crewneck that he left in your closet, forgoing the shorts because you certainly thing that at this point, he'd love to see you in his sweater and panties.

And he does. He smiles as he pulls you close, his hands traveling up your sweater, only to find out that you literally don't have shit on besides some cute little boyshorts. He feels himself hardening in his pants quick because he's incredibly attracted to you and everything about you, always has been, always will be.

"You did amazing tonight." He says, gently kissing your forehead.

"You did too, partner." He gives you a slightly shocked look.

"Is that all I am to you? Your dance partner?"

"Yeah, why? Were you expecting more?" You joke as you smile up at him.

"Yeah, I was."

"Oh?" He gently swoops you up into his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around his torso as he sits you on the bed, his hands resting on your thighs while you continued to hold him around the neck. "Care to tell me what you were expecting?"

"Well, you know, my best friend—" He presses a kiss against your lips, thumbs gently rubbing circles against your hips. "My girlfriend."

"Hm, say that again?" Your fingers are gently playing with the ends of his hair, your lips barely grazing his.

"My girlfriend." He says closed to a whisper, kissing you softly. The kiss deepens quick, Jungkook's tongue lining your bottom lip as his way of asking for permission to take it further. You gladly take it and let him in, your tongues instantly fighting for dominance. Your fingers travel up his hair, tugging ever so slightly just to let him know you want more. That you need more.

And he gets that.

His fingers hook onto the band of your boyshorts, tugging them down and letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor. He breaks the kiss momentarily, his brown, puppy dog eyes looking straight into yours.

"Hey." He says, brushing the hair out of your face.

"Hm?"

"I know I said the last time was special, and it was. It is." He corrects himself. "But, I wanna do right by you this time around. So, is it okay if I keep going? Are you comfortable?" He asks properly, since the two of you are both sober and perfectly coherent, aware of your surroundings and the fact that you'll be seeing each other fully naked in a few minutes.

"Yes." You respond. "Yes, I want you to keep going. I want you. This." He simply nods, bringing his lips back onto yours. His hands climb up your sweater and gently gives your breasts a good squeeze, earning a small moan from the both of you. His other hand begins to travel down to your pussy, two long fingers slowly probing your entrance and causing your breathing to hitch.

"You okay?" He asks lowly. You nod, biting onto your bottom lip as you tilt your head back and rest on your hands, no longer able to keep up with the kiss due to all the pleasure starting to pile up deep in your core. Jungkook starts of slow, his head now buried into the crook of your neck as he works his digits upward, tickling at the right spot.

"Ohhhh, Kook." You mewl as his tongue swipes across the surface of your neck, biting gently beneath your jaw. He begins to pick up the pace, the sounds of him finger fucking you filling up the room entirely.

"Fuck, you're so wet baby." He groans into your neck.

"I'm gonna cum." You whine, teeth almost piercing through your bottom lip in between your whimpers.

"Need to taste you." He removes his fingers and sinks down in between your thighs, gripping onto them and pulling you just a teensy bit more off the edge of the bed so he can get a good angle. The sight of his eyes looking up at you in between your legs is to die for, and the sight alone is enough to make you cum. But, you hold on, you ride out for a little longer - feeling Jungkook's tongue swipe in and out of your folds before he's sucking endlessly on your clit.

"Ahhh, fuck, wait, Jungkook!" He slightly smiles while eating you out, signaling that he's not stopping even if you beg him to. "Hnnng—shit!" You moan loudly as you feel yourself toppling over the edge, your body shaking in Jungkook's grip. You twitch every time he continues to suck gently on your sensitive nub, letting you ride out the rest of your high. He comes back up to your lips, the taste of your own cum lingering on it as you kiss him deeply.

"You taste so good." He says, back to twirling your nipples in between his fingers.

"Wanna feel you." You fiddle with his jeans, undoing his belt and sliding the rest down as much as you could. Jungkook gets out of his shirt and tosses it aside before helping get the sweater above your head. His eyes glow at the sight of your bare body in front of him, wanting to do nothing but please you and please you well.

"God, you're so perfect." He places kisses down your collarbone, to the surface of your breasts before quickly swirling his tongue around your perked buds. You moan as you tug down onto his boxer briefs, immediately stroking his hardened member while he tended to you. Jungkook was a fucking beauty himself - his soft hair, his perfectly toned body, his long 'thick in all the right places' dick.

"Please." You plead. "I want you inside of me." You whimper, causing Jungkook's breathing to hitch when you slightly tighten your grip at the base of his shaft. He gently pushes your hand aside to take over, lining himself up at your entrance. He inserts the tip, watching your eyes roll to the back of the head as he slowly sinks into you.

"Mmmmmgod." He moans. "So tight for me, baby. So fucking wet and tight." He repeats, close to a growl. Your moaning begins to pick up, matching the pace of his thrusting. You're still on the edge of the bed, Jungkook keeping you steady by gripping your thighs tightly. He marvels at the sight of your titties bouncing up and down with every thrust, hissing and shutting his eyes momentarily to keep himself grounded and to prevent himself from coming too quickly. Cause god, he can literally blow any second now.

"Jungggggkooook, yessssss!" You moan loudly, whining even at this point with how good he feels fucking into you at such a fast pace. You're feeling slightly sore already from him hammering into you, but nonetheless, it builds more pleasure for you and you want nothing but to reach your high again. "I-I'm coming!" Jungkook moans in unison with you when he feels your walls pulsating against his cock.

"Such a good girl for me." He says, slowing his pace. The creamy sounds of Jungkook's cock slipping inside and out is music to the both of your ears. He finally gains the courage to remove himself, sitting next to your spot on the edge of the bed and pulling you onto his lap. You swing a leg over, your hands resting on the nape of his neck while you sink yourself lower onto his length. Your mouth opens to let out a moan, but the best you can do is let out a hiss. It feels too fucking good that you can't even process it thoroughly. Jungkook pushes your lips down onto his by grabbing your neck, his other hand guiding the movement of your hips as you roll into him.

"Mmmggg—Jungkook." You whimper in between kisses. "You feel so fucking good, god. You're gonna make me cum again."

"Yeah, cum for me. Cum all over me. It's yours." He grunts, his hands guiding you to work him faster. Your movements are getting sloppier, and you feel your wetness starting to coat his pelvis. He doesn't give a fuck though, and neither do you. This shit feels too good for you to worry about the mess you're making on him.

"Cum with me please." He moans at the sound of you whispering into his ear.

"Faster, baby." He says, almost making you cry at how awfully close you are to unraveling. You tug onto his hair, your head buried deep into his neck as you try and suck onto the surface, trying to find an outlet, some kind of release, until you let go. You suck harshly as you coat his cock with your cum, leaving a purple mark right at the base of his neck. You continue to ride out your high, rolling your hips sloppily as Jungkook finally lets himself go, his moan bouncing off of your walls as his seed fills you up warmly.

You stay in your position, slowly raising your head to cup his cheeks and kiss him deeply once more.

"Fuck, I love you." He says slightly pulling away.

"I love you too." You giggle.

"Didn't actually need any drinks to do this now, did we?" Jungkook jokes, softly pinching your hip.

"Shut up."

"Damn, you both couldn't even at least try to be quiet?!" Jimin yells from outside the door.

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canon-transgender-virgil · 3 years

Text

Remus headcanons cuz he needs more love!

Only three people know about Remus's soap allergy: Janus, Virgil and Logan. Not even Roman knows about it. The others just assume Remus doesn't bathe for the aesthetic, not because it'll literally kill him if he tries to.

He picks and chews his nails to the point of bleeding

A common hc but he suffers from intrusive thoughts

He has an impeccable memory, moreso than Logan. He remembers stuff the Sides say that even they will forget they told him, especially the really mundane stuff.

Logan once told him he prefers his toast to be as close to burned as he can get without it being burned and covered in Crofters and Remus surprised the hell out of him by making him just that for breakfast two months later

Adding on to that

Remus LOVES to cook and is actually pretty good at it - despite popular belief he's the one who cooked for the Dark Sides

Howeverrrr

He isn't allowed to cook after an incident with Virgil's spider getting into a pot of spaghetti

Patton still has nightmares over it

He fidgets and stims.

Often

So much so that the others aren't even sure if he can sit still

If he doesn't have one of his fidget toys on his person he messes with the stuff on his outfit

Speaking of which

He LOVES his outfit

He made it by hand for himself when the Light Sides changed their outfits the first time so he could still outshine his brother.

And adding on to that

He's a great seamstress

Like the dude knows how to sew and knit and just create

Not necessarily "nice" things but they can be tamer if he's feeling better

This is already a headcanon but I love the idea of Remus's eyeshadow changing like Virgil's, but instead of sparkly purple it turns neon green

And it changes when he's feeling creative (a creative that's more productive for Thomas but if he's really passionate about something it'll turn green also)

He wears eyeshadow because, like Thomas, he often doesn't get enough sleep and has terrible bags under his eyes

Plus, Roman doesn't wear eyeshadow - just one more way of separating himself from his "perfect" twin

He loves science.

Like genuinely, like Logan.

He loves talking about chemical reactions and biology (not just that kind), and if someone gets him on a tangent they WILL have to sit through the whole thing

He has tentacles (ofc)

They act like third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth hands

They also literally have minds of their own (and I do mean literally, octopuses have a mini brain in each tentacle irl)

If they like you they'll just... Grab your arm and hold it. Not aggressively or roughly, they just hold it

Speaking of the octopus thing, Remus bleeds blue (ok ik it isn't canon cuz we saw his blood in WTIT but I still like to think this)

And glows in the dark. Not too brightly but if you're in a dark room with him you can almost clearly make out where he is

Now moving on to the rat aspect

I already made this a separate post but he does that thing where rats' eyes shake in their head when they're excited

The others thought this was terrifying until Janus explained what the hell was going on

He loves cheese but, like his brother, is extremely lactose intolerant

Like a rat, he's extremely intelligent!...

If given an incentive to be so

(this technically is canon since that last time we saw him be intelligent he was working under the incentive that Logan would see he was lying to himself)

He has the most "modern" taste in music of the Sides, followed closely by Roman and Virgil (who are tied for second)

He canonically listens to Taylor Swift and I can't imagine he doesn't listen to Brittney Spears or Doja Cat

I'll be adding on to this when I think of anything else but feel free to add your own!

#tw blood mention #tw death mention #ts remus #sanders sides headcanon #sanders sides #thomas sanders #cw spiders #tw eye stuff

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psychicdreamfriendoperator · 3 years

Note

may I ask for headcanons on how the Shishigumi would deal with falling for someone from one of the rival gangs in the BAM? thank you!

Hope this is what you meant haha!

— Psychic

General Headcanons

While it's discouraged, members of other gangs hook up all the time.

The secret is to not be caught.

Ibuki

He has great pride in being part of the Shishigumi.

That pride extends to his sexual and romantic life- he isn't entirely opposed to dating someone from a rival gang.

However, he wouldn't go out of his way to do so, either.

He reflects on himself fairly often— during one of his reflections, he may decide to see where a relationship with a rival gang member will take him.

While he doesn't doubt that the Inner Circle will be supportive (or at least, ambivalent about everything), he goes out of his way to keep everything under wraps.

Neither of you expect the relationship to last for too long ... but that won't stop either of you from enjoying the ride.

Dolph

Similar to Ibuki in that he has a great pride in both himself, and the Shishigumi.

However, unlike Ibuki, Dolph is far more flexible with that pride.

He doesn't sleep around much, nor does he have more than one partner at a time.

As criminal as his lifestyle is, Dolph is very much a gentleman . . . a very gruff gentleman, anyways.

His serious personality can prove stifling— in other words, he's a bit of a stick-in-the-mud.

He ultimately doesn't care who knows about his relationship, but he won’t take any chances, either.

The less people that know of his relationship, the better.

Free

He hooks up with anything that moves, really.

He does have standards of course . . . but they're limbo dancing with the Devil in Hell.

To his credit, he has more or less stopped dating more than one person at once.

It's not good to cheat on your partner, but this is especially important when your partner is part of a gang.

Offend a high ranking member of one of the larger gangs, and you risk sparking a war.

He isn't open about his relationship, but at the same thing, he won't hide anything.

He may seem laid-back, but even Free knows when to separate life in a syndicate from sex and pleasure.

Agata

He’s the most eager, yet also the most hesitant.

He's young, and it's certainly not uncommon for most animals his age to have gathered sexual experience.

On the other hand, he's the youngest member of the Shishigumi.

He feels as if he has to prove that he's “useful” 24/7, 365 days a years or risk getting kicked out for not pulling his own weight— this is what makes him hesitant to date any of the gang's rivals.

If he does do it, he moves in absolute secrecy. Ironically enough, this only leads to the other lions growing increasingly suspicious.

Imagine his surprise when the other lions don't give a damn about his sex life, or express surprise that he hasn't been sleeping around more!

Hino

Hino has no shortage of animals at his disposal ... though, his relationships tend to be short-lived flings.

He breaks them off under the pretense of it being “bad for business”.

It's little different for relationships wherein his partner is in a gang; they enjoy each other’s company for a few weeks, and then, Hino breaks it off.

He’ll be open to a relationship, but he won't go looking for one; bonus points if his partner is low maintenance.

Others have taken Hino’s tiredness as disinterest in not only them, but in the relationship itself.

He has trouble sleeping sometimes, so it helps to have a lover who is understanding of that fact.

Dope

Like Hino, he’s open to a relationship, but he won't advertise it— that's asking for trouble.

He knows what type of animals the BAM’s gangs attract, and as a result, he’s very hesitant with dating around.

He's part of the Shishigumi’s inner circle, so he must keep his guard up as well.

At first, he will be very suspicious of his partner, but as time goes on, he relaxes a bit more.

Not completely, but a reasonable amount.

You can't ever put your guard down in the Black Market; no amount of talking will save you from a bullet through the skull, after all.

Miguel

He dates around often, but he is nowhere near Free’s level.

Don't be surprised if he flaunts his high status in the Shishigumi. Unlike other animals, he has the strength to back up his boasting.

He has given up trying to hold a stable relationship.

He would rather not have a partner.

He knows that his line of work is dangerous and risky; not just for him, but for a lover as well.

With he and his partner being established criminals . . . well, that gives Miguel a bit more peace of mind.

It means that his other half can protect themselves.

Jinma

He doesn't date around at all; as a result, his partner was probably the one to instigate the relationship.

Jinma is more or less the Shishigumi’s head informant— he knows all about the BAM, and his knowledge extends to its inhabitants, too.

His partner shouldn't be surprised to see a dossier filled with information about them, and the syndicate they are part of.

Don't doubt the influence he’s built up in the Black Market.

He doesn't ever truly drop his guard . . . it's nothing personal, honestly. Life in the BAM isn't the best, and you need to prioritize your own survival.

Still, Jinma will use his various intelligence networks to ensure his partner's safety.

Sabu

He's getting on in his years, now.

He doesn't have an interest in chasing after women, men or other animals.

Perhaps then, he meets another, middle-aged animal he can bond with.

Not many animals survive to their 40th birthday in the Black Market— even moreso if they are in a syndicate.

He's a member of the Shishigumi through and through, so, he may not be willing to commit to a full relationship at first.

If he does commit, don't expect Sabu to be at his partner's every beck and call.

He will, however, be there if his lover needs him.

Contrary to what others may believe, Sabu knows how to treat a loved one right.

This doesn't mean that he will hold back should the Shishigumi and his partner's gang fight.

He will, however, take the time to check up on his partner after.

It isn't the best arrangement, but this is what a criminal life in the Market leads to.

#beastars #beastars shishigumi #beastars headcanons #beastars imagines #beastarsxreader #beastars x reader #ask #beastars ibuki #beastars dolph #beastars free #beastars agata #beastars hino #beastars dope #beastars miguel #beastars jinma #beastars sabu

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chipper-smol · 4 years

Text

Feral Vessel Chain 2

reminder that these are being posted by when they finish and not chronologically

Prompt: Herrah has a heart to heart with Feral about looking after Hornet once she’s called to fulfill her duty as a dreamer.

( @reverieriver )

“Feral one.”

Herrah’s voice, calm as it was, immediately had their attention. Ghost wouldn’t say they were afraid of the Beast, not by any stretch of the word--but they also weren’t inclined to go against her lest they get on her bad side. They’ve seen her bad side. It wasn’t something they wished to inflict on even the Radiance.

“Come with me. I need to speak with you in private.”

Respect, that was it. Everything about her presence demanded respect. That wasn’t something they gave freely, but they respected her. They nodded in silent affirmation, and followed as she led them away.

It was only when the both of them were settled in a quiet room away from the bustle of the Palace that Ghost noticed the tiny, red-cloaked form of a familiar spiderling clinging to her mother in her sleep. Their heart did a little jump inside their chest. It was still difficult to imagine this adorable being as the cold and stern sister that tried to kill them twice.

“Ghost.” Once again, Herrah’s voice redirected their attention at once, moreso now with the sound of their name. So she did know it. Father or Mother must have mentioned it in passing. Why did she need to talk to them, though? They watched her with intent curiosity. She said nothing at first, taking the time to contemplate her words before she spoke again. “You know what is going to happen.”

They tried their hardest to tamp down the sudden surge of panic that threatened to rise up. What did she mean by that? There wasn’t any way she could know, right? There might have been suspicions, of course, but they thought they were pretty good at hiding the whole “I’m from the future and know everything that’s going to happen” deal.

“You know of the plan the Wyrm has for us.” Oh. Right. That. That was something they knew anyway. Of course they did, they were technically part of it. But why bring it up now?

They watched as Herrah gingerly plucked her daughter from her cloak to cradle in her arms instead. The hatchling fussed for only a moment, scrubbing her eyes with tiny hands before nestling against her mother and settling into sleep again. There was a look in Herrah’s eyes that Ghost wasn’t sure they’ve ever seen before as she gazed down at Hornet. A certain softness, a mother’s affection... but also, fear. Uncertainty.

“I...” She faltered, and took a deep breath before continuing. “One day, I will enter an eternal slumber. On that day, and all the days after, I will not be able to care for my child. I will not be able to raise her.” She hugged her daughter a little closer. Her voice wavered in a way that made Ghost ache to the very core of their void. “I won’t see her grow up.”

Finally she looked at Ghost again, after collecting herself. “Someone will have to look after her, in my stead. Someone I trust enough to hold my child’s life in their hands.”

She moved in close to them. Something shifted, and their arms reflexively curled around a gentle weight placed in their grasp. Herrah pulled back, and Ghost realized with a start that Hornet now rested against them. The hatchling’s eyes blearily blinked open, looking up at Ghost... and then she nuzzled into them much like she had with her mother, and went back to sleep.

They looked up at Herrah again. There was something like a sad smile in her eyes. “Out of everyone here, I trust you the most. Ironic, isn’t it?”

Their gaze dropped back to the little slumbering spiderling in their arms. She was so small. So light, she barely weighed anything. But the gravity of the situation sat heavy in their mind, as they remembered again that she was one day going to grow into the Hornet they knew. They remembered again how she looked when they returned from the dream realm after breaking Herrah’s seal. They remembered her grief, and their own guilt.

They wanted more than anything to change that; to see her grow up with her mother; to see what kind of bug she would become if she never lost her, and never closed herself off to the world, cold and bitter. If they succeeded, and the Dreamers never had to Dream.

But if they failed, if they didn’t find a way to get the Dream Nail or some other means to fight the Radiance, then what would all this be for? Hornet would still lose her mother, their sibling would still be sealed away, everything would continue to fall apart in slow motion and there wouldn’t be anything they could do about it.

Ghost wanted to protect their family, but as things stood now, they couldn’t even protect them from their fates. Couldn’t even protect the spiderling in their arms, so small and so vulnerable, from the pain they knew she would suffer in the future. Vaguely, they were aware of Herrah beginning to say something when--

“No cry!” a tiny voice squeaked.

They looked down, startled. They hadn’t even realized that Hornet had awoken at some point. Worse yet, they hadn’t realized the moment that tears began spilling down their mask. But she had. “No cry,” she pleaded once more, a tiny hand reaching in their general direction as though trying to offer comfort. They dipped their head towards her, and she pawed at their tears.

It almost made them want to laugh, that their baby sister of all bugs would try to comfort them right now. They carefully shifted her weight to one arm so they could have a hand free to wipe their eyes.

“You... don’t have to, you know,” Herrah offered. “I simply thought that, considering how I trust you and how she adores you--”

Ghost raised their hand with a quick motion to say, stop. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to, that much was certain. But their resolve was set now; they were going to do everything in their power to make sure that they wouldn’t have to. Not that they could tell her as much. So they gave her a nod in answer. If, and only if, they did fail after everything was said and done, then they would take care of Hornet in her mother’s stead.

Herrah nodded in turn, and her relief was nearly tangible. They could only imagine how she must have worried for her daughter’s future. “Thank you, Ghost. Now, if I may have my child back?” She reached for Hornet, only for the spiderling to scuttle straight up Ghost’s head to settle between their horns in an attempt to get away. “Little one...”

“Wanna stay wif Ghos’!��

Herrah laughed softly. Ghost did as well, if only silently. “Well, alright, then. I suppose I can let you watch her for a while. I trust you’ll take good care of her.”

They nodded. No matter what happened, they promised: They would take care of their sister.

( @philliaesaya, https://twitter.com/ArtistPhillia )

( @ofstormsandfire )

If Ghost could speak, they’d have to say they very much underestimated just how high-energy their sister would be. But then, who would they say it to? They certainly wouldn’t admit it to the Pale King, who likely isn’t even aware of their current whereabouts, never mind Hornet’s. Herrah is a possibility. Their mother is also a possibility.

But due to a particular monarch’s insistence on his perfect vessel having no voice to cry suffering, Ghost is as voiceless as the day they were hatched. Never mind that they are, by choice, nearly as far from being that perfect, impossible vessel as anyone can be without actively colluding with the Radiance.

(That wasn’t a choice Ghost had ruled out, upon waking up in their past. They haven’t entirely ruled it out even now. But to do anything concerning the Radiance, Ghost would first need the Dream Nail. To get the Dream Nail, they first need to find the Seer. And, unfortunately, their drawings of moths when shown to others are always mistaken for surprisingly non-insulting caricatures of the king.)

“Ghostie! Be tall!”

Out of nowhere, Hornet leaps all the way from the ground to cling onto Ghost’s mask. She hangs there and giggles. Her giggles only intensify as she starts to slip.

If Ghost could smile, they would. As is, they catch her with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, and deposit her once again in the space between their horns. Hornet grabs both of them with a tiny cheer, and they start walking again.

They still can’t quite decide what is stranger: Hornet being this small, or Hornet being this friendly. This is a Hornet long before her life and her family fell apart, before any of the things that make her who she becomes go horribly wrong. But they still see the Hornet they know in her own, clumsy attempts at pranking the king, attempts that are slowly but surely getting better and better.

The Pale King blames Ghost, as he does for even the smallest and fully unrelated inconvenience. Ghost strongly suspects Hornet would have turned out like this with or without their influence.

Their wandering takes them to the Resting Grounds, as it often does. Never before has it been with their sister in tow. They pass the space where Xero’s grave will rest, the not-yet-built memorial to the Dreamers. Both are reminders of time running out.

Xero did not turn against the king for no reason. He has not, yet. He will not until their sibling is sealed away, and it is becoming clearer and clearer that the desperate plan the king pinned everything on has failed.

There were Six Great Knights, once.

And the Dreamers… Ghost cannot speak for Lurien, as the Watcher is conspicuously absent from his Spire whenever Ghost comes around. Perhaps he knows, somehow, that Ghost would exact revenge for his knights in prank after prank after prank. Perhaps he doesn’t, but merely suspects what Ghost is up to and hides himself away in preparation. But even he does not deserve to sleep forever, no matter how many times they were reduced to shade and broken shell attempting to reach him.

They have met Monomon and Herrah, however. Monomon automatically earns a place on their List Of Bugs They Like, Actually by sheer virtue of unintentionally assisting them in their sacred quest of vengeance (and on one notable occasion, very intentionally assisting them.) Quirrel had already been there, and nothing short of him attempting to kill them would take him off that list. Their opinion of him had shot up with his involvement in the Unn Incident, however.

Herrah is so much like the Hornet Ghost remembers that it’s painful. They’d overheard her, once, saying that a large part of why she’d agreed to this was so Hornet wouldn’t have to go through the things she had.

There had been no crimes committed against the king that day. They had been too busy crying somewhere no one would find them.

Lost in their thoughts, they almost miss the flash of movement up ahead. Almost. They do not, however, miss the gasp, nor the… was that a purple cloak?

It might have been. It was certainly some dark color. The Seer wore a dark purple cloak, or perhaps those were the wings they never saw her use outside the realm of dreams. That might not be the Seer. That could be any other bug, or even just a figment of their imagination.

But if it is her… why would she be hiding from them?

The answer is so obvious, Ghost could kick themself for not realizing it sooner. Of course the Seer would hide from a vessel, now. For all she knows, they could be their sibling, but even if she has no knowledge of the Pale King’s plans, of course she’d hide from someone close to the king.

They have no voice to explain otherwise. Somehow, Ghost gets the feeling she won’t stick around long enough for them to sign anything, and even if she did, she wouldn’t know their signs! Only they, their sibling (who Ghost stubbornly refuses to refer to even mentally as Hollow, because they are not) and to a limited extent, their mother understand their signs.

They can’t exactly write an explanation, either.

Maybe they can steal the Dream Nail? They would feel kind of bad, but it’s for a good cause and they can always just give it back once they’ve dealt with the Radiance, however they’re dealing with the Radiance. That might be their best option at the moment, actually, but what if the Seer attacks them?

What if she attacks Hornet?

They reach up to their horns, disentangling the tiny presence there that had just begun to purr. Internally, they apologize for setting her down.

“Ghostie? Where you going?”

I’m sorry. I’ll be right back. They pat her on the head and pull out a charm: Nailmaster’s Glory, no longer in Sly’s possession and unlikely to be returned to Sly’s possession anytime soon. Ghost places it in her tiny grasp and closes her grip around it.

“Keep dis safe?”

Ghost nods.

“Like Ghost keep safe?”

Their shoulders sag, but they still nod.

“I’ll be right back,” they sign, even though it will be a very long time before she understands half of what they say around her. Somehow, somehow, Hornet seems to understand.

“Back soon,” Hornet says impatiently. That, Ghost nods to much more forcefully, and then they turn and run.

They do not find the Seer, though not for lack of searching. Unfortunately, they cannot fit into all the tiny spaces they could when smaller. After they’ve looked through what feels like the entirety of the Resting Grounds, they eventually give up and return to where they left Hornet. They can’t help but be relieved when they see her there, sitting on the lip of a tombstone, swinging her lowest set of legs back and forth without a care in the world.

“Ghost!” Hornet cheers once she sees them. “Wanna show something!”

Ghost nods wordlessly, and kneels in front of her. Hornet chrrs in concentration. She reaches back into thin air, but there’s something shiny in her grip. The charm they left with her, perhaps? No, that’s in her other hand, and honestly, Sly never kept it in as good of condition as they did.

Then pink light erupts from her back hand. Familiar pink light, in the unfamiliar form of a needle. For a few, brief moments, Ghost is the closest to truly hollow they’ve ever been from the utter confusion radiating from them.

What the fuck, they think as Hornet swings.

The Dream Nail—Dream Needle now, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck, passes through them harmlessly. It tickles, actually. Apparently learn what the Dream Nail feels like on the receiving end is something they can cross off their bucket list, although there’s a distinct funny feeling after. If they didn’t know what it was and what it did, they would have assumed the Dream Needle was merely a trick of the light.

But they found the Dream Nail. Hornet has the Dream Nail. Needle. Of course it would take the form of a needle for her. Has she even seen a real needle yet?

Hornet blinks innocently up at them and says, cheerfully, “Fuck!”

Their sibling finds them on the outskirts of the City of Tears, nail strapped to their back in the same way Ghost’s stick is. Free from prying eyes, they cross their arms and tap their foot impatiently, as if expecting an explanation.

Ghost signs, Not sorry.

“Holly!” Hornet crows from her perch atop Ghost’s horns.

Holly… that’s actually a name Ghost can get behind, for their sibling. As usual, Hornet is the best at names, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

“Hello, little sister,” Holly signs back, having apparently deemed Hornet safe enough. Even if she isn’t, who would look at Holly next to ghost and honestly assume that they weren’t hollow either?

The Pale King sure wouldn’t, and right now, that’s all that matters.

Hornet doesn’t understand a word they’re signing. Dream Needle tucked carefully in her dress, she proudly proclaims, “FUCK!”

Holly looks at Ghost. Ghost shrugs helplessly.

“We don’t even have a sign for that. How?”

Ghost shrugs again, because they don’t have a sign for the explanation either.

Holly sighs. They resume their typical, supposedly hollow stance. “Let’s go home.”

The White Palace is not home to Ghost. It never has been, and it never will be. But when Holly extends a hand to them, they take it.

The Pale King’s reaction, once they return, is glorious. And he can’t even really blame Ghost, because no fucking voice to cry suffering, asshole! No voice to teach their little sister to curse, either! Of course, he blames them anyway, but it’s the principle of the matter.

And no matter who he blames, it doesn’t change the fact that Hornet has a new favorite word, and it’s going to be echoing through the palace for weeks. Maybe it’ll drive him crazy. Maybe it’ll distract him from Hornet’s newest toy.

Ghost knows where the Dream Nail is now, but that’s just the beginning. They still haven’t seen anything of the Godseeker. Without the Godseeker, how the—to quote their favorite sister—fuck are they going to find the Radiance?

There’s much to think about. And they’re slowly, oh so slowly yet oh so quickly, running out of time.

At least they have Hornet scandalizing nearly every adult in the White Palace in the meantime.

( @tangelojack )

( @idiotjuicyy )

( @dovalore, https://twitter.com/dovalore )

( @lesiasmadness )

Lullaby Lament

Nothing was ever off limits to the princess of Deepnest. The fact that she hasn’t grown to be spoiled rotten was great testament to her graceful and collected nature.

“Only proves that she does take after my dear Wyrm,” thought the White Lady as she gently cradled Hornet. A little while ago the Gendered Child was carried by her collar into the garden by the Pale King, after an adventurous day in the Palace with her half brothers. The King didn’t give his wife many chances to figure out what exactly transpired that finally got all the little ones in trouble, but it definitely involved Grimm’s spawn setting something on fire and sweets. The queen allowed herself to giggle softly now that her sweetheart was out of sight, her branches shaking a bit, causing the child in her hands to move a bit in her sleep, only having drifted off recently. Silence finally filled the White Palace, a rare occurrence nowadays, as Hollow was sent to his fathers office to wait for his disciplining, Grimmchild was tossed into the troupe masters hands like a naughty kitten to his owner, and Ghost ran off somewhere, no doubt to resurface soon and unite with his new found nightmare spawn friend. But for a short while, all was quiet.

Hornet brought a new kind of chaos to the Palace. Something the White Lady should have expected, but couldn’t have predicted the feelings it would invoke. Hornet was an actual kid. Unlike the two vessels who could, as soon as they hatched, climb their way up the ledges most adults would struggle with, the Gendered Child needed to be cradled and fed, supervised at all times. In other words, she was vulnerable. Anything happening in her sight left a mark on her, and seeing those changes filled the queens heart and mind with fascination and worry at the same time.

The first time Herrah brought her little one to a meeting, the baby wouldn’t stay quiet, and despite all the disruption it caused, the White Lady wanted them to stay for as long as possible. For the first time in many years, she heard a child’s laughter. Ever since that day, any time Feral shook his shoulder indicating a mischievous chuckle, the queen's mind goes back to that moment.

Not a sprout of envy ever rooted itself in the White Lady’s heart. It didn’t even cross her mind until Dryya asked if she might be resentful of the Deepnest’s queen for getting to hear her daughter’s voice, while she didn’t even know how it felt to hear “mom” once. Her answer was that Herrah would never feel the same euphoria that came over White Lady when she finally figured out how to speak to her child with their hands,

seeing them sign, “happy! happy! happy!” over and over. The joys of motherhood came in many unpredictable ways, and the journey would never be the same for any two families. But despite the differences, and despite almost never speaking to each other aside from diplomatic affairs, the two queens understood each other in the feelings that plagued them at every waking hour. First, it was a desperate desire to have an offspring of their own. Perhaps that understanding was why, upon hearing the request to have the king’s child, the White Lady agreed even before her husband did. Then, another feeling resonated between the two. Constant, cold dread. Dread of their time with their children running out. It might take years before the time came for Hollow to step into his role of being a sacrifice to the kingdom. But even now, there wasn’t a moment when Herrah’s heart didn’t ache, not for herself being deprived of both life and death, as a Dreamer, but for her daughter being left on her own. At least White Lady will get to nurture the feral vessel even after Hollow is reduced to a living gravestone. But even then, the queen would soon lose her only link to the child. As every new sign they learned together only reminded her of how fast her vision was weakining...

“Root lady!”

The queen’s wandering thoughts scattered like a flock of startled maskflys. She hadn’t noticed Hornet opening her eyes a few moments earlier.

“Have I disturbed your slumber with my light, little princess?” “Nu! I’m not sleepy. I didn’t sleep! Imma go play with Ghost.”

Ghost tried to pull the same bluff sometimes, as if the letters on his paper didn’t trail off the borders, turning into a crooked line ending where his quill lay as he dozed off right there on the table, sometimes right in his mother’s lap.

“Oh? You’re not sleepy at all? Goodness, Ghost must have been running way more than you today” - The queen made an exaggerated confused expression.

“No! I run more! And faster! Ghost can never catch me.”

To much of Hollow’s confusion, Ghost often play-raced with his little sister, and always lost on purpose. Something he suspected was that she didn’t get much slack back home, as it wasn’t customary in Deepnest to go easy on anyone, even if it’s to humor a child. No doubt once she’s old enough to train with a nail, she’ll know just how much building character is prioritised over mercy in those lands.

“That can’t be right,” - The White Lady put a hand to her chin, pretending to be deep in thought. - “They surely are more tired. How can it be that Ghost is already asleep, but Hornet isn’t even sleepy?”

“Ghost sleeps now? Bleh, baby.”

“Maybe little Hornet should sleep a little too. Your mother is talking to the king about important things, but they are taking a longer time because, can you imagine? While they were having a meeting, some kids made a fire in the palace!”

The humm of the garden filled with Hornet’s chiming laughter, as she flailed her tiny feet a little bit in amusement.

“That’s Ghost! Me, too. We made sticky sweets!”- the little spider announced proudly, showing her hands, still covered in bits of burnt marshmallow.

“Really?” “Ye! The flying... The flying bug... Lilpet made fire with his mouth!” “Lilpet?” “Ghost’s Lilpet. They can fly and have pretty eyes.”

After a few seconds, the queen deciphered that Hornet gave Grimmchild that name hearing her mother call it “Ghost’s little pet.”

“Ah, I understand. Do you like them? “Lilpet makes soft sounds. I like them more than sounds at home.”

From Dryya’s tales, the White Lady knew that from every tunnel in Deepnest you could hear the hissing of its wilder residents. Although she’d expect living there would make one numb to such sounds. However, the only noise in the White Palace was the one kids caused. Perhaps the difference is playing with Hornet’s ears. Hornet liked it in the Palace. So many spaces for her to climb and stick her silk to, and brothers to look after her, who would always find a way to catch up, even on the ceiling, getting them to chase her was almost its own game. Besides, she’s never forbidden from doing anything, as Herrah wouldn’t let the king boss her child around, thus White Lady being the only one he cpuld turn to to tame the rambunctious child. At home, she’s probably running wild as well. Herrah had no reason nor will to restrict her child from anything that’s not dangerous. She wanted to spend what little time she had left seeing her little daughter curious, free, and happy. So causing chaos at home wasn’t nearly as fun as raising the roof of the palace, though, as she won’t get the same reaction she gets from the Pale King. And having an accomplice in Ghost makes it double the fun.

The noisy mischief those two cause amused the queen every time, but the moments of quiet the two share are much more precious. Ghost would often try to teach their sister their signs, and being young and clever, she picks them up no problem, although the learning process resembled charades. Hornet is often Ghosts voice, and she cheers as much as the vessel does once they manage to communicate something to servants in the castle or the knights. Watching her child indulge in the process of teaching others the same way she does warmed their mother’s heart.

“...When will mom co-...?” - Hornet yawned mid-word.

“They need some more time, little princess. But I heard sleeping makes time go faster.”

“You made that up!”

“My-my, you are a clever child! People can tell you a lot of lies, but you can ask your mom if what I said was true.”

“I can’t ask her now.” “We’ll just have to wait then, huh. ... Or you could try and see for yourself“ “But I can’t sleep. I’m not tired!”

“Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?” “What is lulby?”

“A special song they sing to princesses when they can’t sleep.” “You made that up again!” “Well, I won’t sing it then.” “No, I wanna hear!”

“Lie down and close your eyes then.”

The queen wrapped her hands around Deepnest’s princess, dimming her glow, and a soft hum soon crept just at the edges of Hornet’s hearing. It grew into a melody, and somehow, a song, although the sounds weren't like words at all, they resembled ringing, resonating with the sound of the garden, and the specks of white glow seemed to dance to their tune. The pale beings song was not in any language, but the meaning of its lines Hornet would carry in her memory long after, and years later she’d put them into words she could actually sing herself.

Twist the spindle Round and round Princess sleeps Don’t make a sound Born of three

And left with none Stop the spindle thread is done.

In the darkness

Far below

Wishing star

Is born to glow

Thread by thread

The star has sawn Silky web

they’ll call their own

Soon came spring To be her guest

Gave her life Then left to rest Summer came Was brief and sad left behind

A cloak of red Autumn took The lone star in Made her strong Fit to be queen Winter shook The web star made Soon two bugs Came for her aid Hide the bugs

In her cocoon Safe from winter

Pale as moon Twist the spindle Round and round Princess sleeps Don’t make a sound Born of three And left with none Stop the spindle thread is done.

To the gentle hum of the song Herrah found her daughter sleeping in White Lady’s hands. No words were exchanged between them as she gently took Hornet and held her close, the little princess will soon be home.

( @huntersapprentice )

( @astronomicartz )

( @brimal-baspid )

#hollowknight #hollow knight #telephoneknight #otherart #otherfic #shitlordau #fanart #giftcorner #this one started off angst #but then went super wholesome #which i dont mind #long post #lets see if this one breaks tumblr mobile too #noticeablepronouns

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scummy-writes · 3 years

Text

Arthur Week Day 4: Nightmares

Rating: G

Words: 1925

Pairing: Arthur/Mc

Full fic under the cut!

『• • • ✎ • • •』

How did you get into this situation? You peeked up at Arthur as you tugged his dark blue bed sheets over your shoulder, watching the way his eyes scanned the pages of the book he held in his hands. He sat beside you, one pillow behind his back while you sleepily nuzzled into the other, trying to ignore how the scent of his cologne surrounded you.

The only light on was the lamp by the bed at the perfect height for him to comfortably read with. The warm glow helped ease your nerves, especially as it made Arthur look more… mature with the way it framed his features. Relaxing. It was almost hard to believe this was the same man that constantly, lovingly, teased all the residents. Or that this was the same man that joked time after time about whisking you away from here, to a home just for the two of you.

For a moment, his gaze dipped away from the book, meeting yours, making your heart speed up again at being caught ogling. But he just smiled, quietly shutting his book.

"You look like you're ready to fall asleep, luv."

When you nodded, shyly returning your focus on snuggling into the sheets, he set his book upon his desk. Then his glasses, rubbing his eyes for a moment.

Soon, the pads of his fingers gently brushed your bangs aside. Tucking your hair behind your ear he hummed in thought.

"Would you rather go back to your room or would you like to stay here for the night?"

You were surprised he was giving you a choice. Honestly, you thought he was about to tell you to leave. While he teased and flirted with you on occasion, none of this was the excitement he seemed to seek out each night. Instead, it was boring. Comfortable, for you at least, and… embarrassing, giving the context.

But if you had to give an answer…

"Could I stay here?"

"Of course."

The lamp clicked off not a moment after, leaving you trying to readjust to the faint moonlight from the window that stretched over the room. You had a hunch he left the curtains open for you, but you didn't voice it as he settled into bed, letting out a content sigh.

"Mmh… Hey, bird?" You let out a hum of acknowledgment, feeling his fingers ghost along your cheek in a gentle caress before thumbing the skin there. "You said you had a nightmare, right?"

Yes… Earlier in the kitchen, where he had ran into you drinking a glass of water, trying to shake off the haunting images of your dream. He had still been awake writing, given the empty mug he was carrying in and the glasses he wore, but upon seeing you he seemed to drop any further plans he had that night, trying to coax out the reason you seemed so shaken up.

Which led you here, with his chest close enough to nuzzle into if you so wanted.

"Y-yeah…"

"Do you want me to stay awake until you fall asleep?"

"No, no, you don't have to go that far."

"Mm… You're right, I don't have to. But if it made you feel better, I would without a second thought, darling."

Heat rose to your cheeks hearing his rare pet name for you. "Just… just this is enough. It's more than enough." Then quieter, but no less honest. "...Thank you, Arthur."

"Mhm, anytime, bird. I'm always up late, and if I'm not ready to sleep yet you can rest here while I write."

"That sounds really nice…"

There was a beat of silence as a soft smile played at his lips and, feeling your heart stir against your will, you tightened the sheets around your shoulders. And speaking of, you couldn't help but trail your eyes over his, and then drag them towards his chest…

Arthur seemed to read you well even in the dark. With a quiet come here, he coaxed you into cuddling up to him; gently, of course. All it took was a comforting arm around you, and you gave in, letting Arthur hug you close.

Surely it was fine to do this, right? You were still shaken up over the dreams that had plagued you tonight- of course, the thunderous ba-dum against your ribs was from that, and not from finally knowing what it felt like to be held by Arthur.

(And God, did he smell so good.)

"You know… it doesn't have to be a nightmare. Even if you're just having a bad day, you can come to me and I'll do what I can to help."

When he got like this it was nearly impossible to refrain from melting into his arms. And you seemed to anyway, feeling yourself start to fade as he began to slowly rub your back.

"Mmh… Are you sure?"

"Dove, I'd do just about anything you asked."

This time, you didn't wake with a start. Rather, a slow few blinks mixed with a haze of confusion. Until you took a deep breath, remembering last night with the faint smell of coffee and musk.

The sun was yet to be seen, and you wondered how long you managed to sleep. Not enough, given how tired you still felt.

Glancing up, you saw that Arthur was still asleep. You idly wondered about the dream he was having as he stirred, only pulling you into a firmer embrace.

Was this why women chased after him so much? That, aside from the promise of pleasure he made well on, he would make them feel… safe?

Though, imagining that with other women felt off, especially the few times you had witnessed him coming back the morning after; weary, slightly out of character. With the additions of Theo's murmurings to you, you almost had half a mind to think he'd only do this for you.

Almost.

The mood soured by your own thoughts, you attempted to fall back asleep to the sound of his sleepy sighs- but it felt hopeless, as your mood sunk while the sun rose.

~☆~

True to his word, Arthur apparently would do anything you asked of him. It felt silly; being an adult and still seeking comfort so late at night. But instead of nightmares haunting you, it was memories refusing to stay buried. Something you didn't realize you had in common with Arthur until later that night.

When he had answered your knock, he did seem surprised, but moreso he looked weary. His smile couldn't seem to reach his eyes as he ushered you inside, which made your cheeks burn from shame, thinking that you were truly inconveniencing him and he was just too nice to say so. (Because really, how old were you now?)

But before any hasty apologies could spill out of you he was admitting how little sleep he had gotten lately. Arthur threw out the excuse of a manuscript keeping him up, but the smell of ink was nowhere to be found, and his desk was oddly bare.

"You can go ahead and hop into bed, my dove, I'll just be a moment."

His soft words were accompanied by a gentle pat on your shoulder before he turned around, opening his dresser drawers to pick out a fresh set of pajamas. Arthur changed in his small bathroom as you crawled into his bed, already feeling your body relax at the missed comfort.

Truly, Arthur could be too kind, you thought. Despite his countless warnings of the same vice towards you, maybe he was better off worrying about himself. After all, you weren't the one who looked so worn down and ragged when finally settling into bed.

Arthur spared a strained smile your way once the lights were out, the moonlight once again providing a soothing atmosphere.

"I may end up falling asleep first this time. I hope you'll forgive me for that."

"I’ve already told you that you didn't have to stay up for my sake, Arthur. I'll be okay." You stalled for a moment before inching closer, gingerly resting your hand on his side, "just being with you is enough for me."

"Mm…" His exhaustion showed with his lazy and crooked smile that made your heart flutter as he pulled you into his embrace, nuzzling against your hair, "be careful, bird, you'll lead me to believe that's under a different context."

The tease was meant to provoke a flustered reply, but you stayed silent, cheeks glowing as you imagined the context he was referring to.

You awoke to panting. Honestly, you almost fell back asleep immediately, and the only reason you didn't was due to the jolt that seemed to go through Arthur. And in just a blink, you were pushed off his chest rather abruptly, causing you to scramble to sit up.

Impulsively, you cut on the bedside light, just to be greeted by a shame-stricken Arthur. His eyes wavered with something you couldn’t quite catch, and then he was looking elsewhere, chest heaving as apologies stumbled out from him.

"Just- just a nightmare, luv. I-I didn't mean to wake you, not like that."

Drowsiness still taking hold of most of your thoughts, you nodded along, letting yourself catch your breath from the sudden start. And then you ran his words through your head again, frowning.

What nightmare had brought forth such a startling reaction?

Judging by the embarrassment still clouding his features- and his outright refusal to look you in the eye- it didn't seem like one he would be too keen on sharing. For an idle moment, you let yourself consider what would keep him awake at night, and how different the causes might be from your own.

The thought has you easing yourself under the covers again, hesitantly reaching for his arm and thumbing the patch of skin under his sleeve, muttering.

"… I'm here for you too, you know?"

Arthur’s breath stopped as he processed the words, shyly glancing your way.

"W-we don't have to talk about it, unless you want to that is, but…" Your cheeks burned, "you're always willing to ease my fears. Let me do the same?"

Arthur’s scoff almost made you recoil until he spoke, "rather sore I've let you see me in such a state," and then another look your way, "... but I do appreciate it, luv."

Wordlessly, you lifted your arm up- just enough for him to snuggle into your embrace with a self-deprecating chuckle against your shoulder.

"Thank you. For feeling sympathy for such a sorry bloke as myself."

“It’s okay to need a little help now and then, Arthur.”

His deep sigh gusted against your neck, making your cheeks burn further while you focused on his words,“... I do need that reminder now and again.”

“I’ll be here to give it to you,” Gingerly, you rubbed his back, thankful when he let himself relax into your hold, “... whenever you need.”

“Mm… Thank you, darling. I really mean it.”

There wasn’t much more to be said. Arthur only mumbled a few more tired apologies for his dazed behavior, and then he was fast asleep in your arms, his slow breathing helping lull your eyes closed.

True to his word, Arthur had been exhausted, and now the reason behind that was clear. Whether or not this same reason was behind other nights you saw of him in such a state was unclear, but… Hopefully, as he had been doing for you, you could ease his troubles and help him during those moments.

At least a little, right?

-------

Day four of Arthur Week! *wheezes* this was originally supposed to be longer but, ah... you all know the ol song and dance by now o|-< things didn't come out like I wanted and this is what I made do with.

Arthur is a godawful flirt, but I always appreciate the moments of genuine kindness he has, in or out of his route. Shows a Lot about him.

Thanks for reading!

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Tag list (I remembered this time!):

@aeoncryptic @kodzukenspie @anianakin @judgemental-seal @shookspearewrites @cauldroncatx @stehkotori @niintendoqs @otomefoxystar @blu-tigerr @jazzellen @cinnatwisted @buswilligan @tacogawa @kim-stitches @passionatebooklover @rinringo23 @aurora-morning @ike-simp @kimmy-banana

As always, let me know if you'd like to be added or removed! Thank you!

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #arthur week #ikevamp arthur #ikemen vampire arthur #soft starts to relationships always get to me #dont look at me im a sap weeps

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