#I can’t help but feel that the problems are always more external to them and the relationship they have between them
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My Dearest, Cupid
a/n: happy valentine’s! i hate the transition. you can see i'm trying to tell something but i can't tell it properly. nothing too daring tbh.
cw: sub!thoma, cupid!thoma, dom!reader, gn!reader | wing kink(?), bondage, blindfold, implied voyeurism
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Thoma’s fingers shake as he continues writing on his notepad. This is his job, he has to get used to this at some point.
He observes, then he writes.
This is Thoma’s first time being directly assigned to someone. After all his hard work, he’s finally been promoted and is considered capable enough to handle humans.
His first mission is already a freebie, since his goal only concerns a single human, unlike the others who were known professionals who take more than he can even imagine.
The cupid follows you, continuing to take note of the things you do. He’s been doing this for a week now, his notepad filled with random information about you. He knows of your likes and dislikes, your hobbies, your measurements, your schedule…
Of course, it’s just because of his job. He doesn’t…see you in that way.
At this point, the time he’s taking to have you fall in love with someone else is already exceeding the average. He tells himself that it’s just to be careful, that he didn’t want to mess up his first day on the job. However, he can’t hide it from himself that he’s getting cold feet.
If it was Kazuha, he would have helped by whispering verses of love that could increase their human’s possibility of their confession being accepted.
On the other hand, his senior Ayato, would indirectly signal to their human by suggesting what clothes to wear, heightening their confidence about themselves.
Lastly, Miko would be the type to slip something in their human’s drink that would make them feel and look more seductive.
None of those suited Thoma. He’s not great with words to begin with, always seeming to overthink what it is that he says. He’s also not well-versed in the type of clothing that humans wear, so he can’t help in that area.
He sighs. While he could use gadgets that would make this mission easier, that didn’t seem fair or natural.
It doesn’t even look like you need his help anyways. You seem to be doing fine on your own. The only problem was, he doesn’t know who would be the perfect match for you.
Unfortunately, time is running out. He needs to fill up your love meter at the end of the day.
He decides based on what he knows. Your coworker looks the closest to you. All he needs to do is to shoot you with an arrow, and make sure that they’re the first person you see right after, giving you that little boost to profess the hidden love you have within your heart. Then, his objective is reached.
Thoma waits, aiming the arrow while you get out of your car. He sees you fix your hair, bending slightly so you can look into the mirror of your car. He takes a deep breath, swallowing all the anxiety away.
After parking your car, he readies his bow. He knows that your coworker will pass by this area at this time since there’s a meeting that’s scheduled for them today.
“Alright,” He whispers to himself, letting go of the arrow as soon as you exit your vehicle.
The arrow flies straight, hitting your chest directly. You stand there quietly, a weird feeling bursting from your chest. It’s a normal side-effect, so he doesn’t worry.
As he predicted, the coworker exits the building and notices you. They’re only a few feet away.
He counts the seconds left until your eyes meet…your body staying still as they walk towards you.
Everything was going to plan.
Was.
A car enters the parking lot, beeping for you to get away.
Oh no. This cannot be happening.
Your mind is still stunned, needing a few more seconds to recover.
His jaw drops in worry. No way the first human he gets assigned to dies because of an external factor.
He panics. He can’t let you die, but Thoma can’t be seen by humans either!
It’s one or the other. Either way, he’s screwed.
He’ll for sure get suspended for this.
Thoma goes quickly, grabbing your body in his hands and flying away from the situation. He made sure your coworker didn’t see anything, though disappearing out of nowhere is still suspicious.
He bites the bottom of his lips, his tiny wings fluttering in worry…
“Uhm, excuse me?”
Thoma looks down to see you conscious, still trapped in his arms.
He abruptly lets go, unsure of what to say as you stare at him. His wings shy away, this is the first time he’s been seen by a human. Thoma gazes down at the floor, waiting for you to say anything.
“Are you alright?” You question.
“I—Yeah! I-I’m fine!”
The guide to becoming a cupid never said anything about this!
“You know, you’re really pretty.” You blurt out.
Thoma laughs awkwardly, heat starting to show in his cheeks.
“Thank you…”
A compliment. A human is complimenting him. God, you’re complimenting him.
“Do you always wear that?” You ask, eyeing him from top to bottom.
Thoma nods at your question, starting to get embarrassed by what he’s wearing. It’s a lot different and more showy than what humans usually wear.
“You’re not going to introduce yourself?”
Thoma blinks.
Is he supposed to?
“I’m Thoma…I’m a cupid.”
He waits for you to react aggressively. You didn’t.
Instead, you tug the white fabric of his clothes and you look up at him to ask permission.
“S-Sorry. Is there a problem?” Thoma asks, letting you control his body.
You shook your head. Your hands hover over his body, framing it before touching skin against skin. He gasps a short and tense breath.
He stares into your eyes and decides that can’t do it anymore. He squeaks, accidentally letting go of his prized notepad, landing between your feet.
“Oh, you dropped this…huh.” Thoma looks anxious as you keep reading its contents.
“Cupid, you’ve been stalking me?”
You’re not mad, not at all. After all, how could you when a handsome fellow swoops in to save you? Granted, he was the one who put you in danger—
Still, the stressed angel in front of you doesn’t look like he means any harm. Especially not with the notes written on the papers…
Come on, cute doodles of you? Your favorite ice cream flavor?
“You were setting me up?” You conclude.
He nods.
“Thoma, you do know that coworker is married, right?”
The cupid blinks at you, wondering if he heard wrong.
“There’s a ring on his finger. Did you not see?”
He thinks, and then he realizes. You’re right.
He bows his head apologizing profusely.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad that at least ended with me meeting you.” You reassure.
“No, no. It isn’t supposed to be like this…” He sighs in disappointment.
“At this point, your love meter won’t be filled!” He exclaims.
You stand still, a soft giggle slipping out of you that turns into a loud laugh.
“I’m sorry. A what?” That name was obnoxious.
“I didn’t name it!” He argues. The more Thoma spends more of his time with you, the more he feels his chest aches.
“Right, right. So, how exactly do you fill it up?”
…
Thoma can’t see a single thing, red cloth covering his eyes.
His hands are tied behind his back. It’s silent, he can’t even hear your breathing to calm him down.
He understands that’s the point, to make him feel more sensitive, he’s…written about these in his notes.
That you’re that kind of lover who enjoys these kinds of things.
“I wonder, how much is it that you know about me?”
A lot, Thoma wants to answer. Though he shuts his mouth, knowing he’ll get into trouble if he says anything out of turn.
“Are you a pervert, Thoma?”
He shakes his head.
You hum disappointedly. “You’re not being honest. Should I read what this note says?”
His body tenses up. “W-What note?”
“Spying on me while I pleasure myself. Don’t you think that’s perverted?”
He’s glad he can’t see your face, he knows you’re shaming him and he won’t be able to take it to see you eyeing him like that.
Your hand slowly caresses his thigh, nothing extreme yet but he knows how this’ll end up.
“Pretty wings.”
A slight pinch of his wings sends the cupid whining, his whole body trembling. “D-Don’t…”
“Do all cupids act this slutty or is it just you?”
“My wings are sensitive…” He says, as if you can’t tell that already.
“Such soft feathers.”
He’s never been touched there intimately. His body reacts almost as if he was under some sort of love spell. Thoma’s body moves as you brush your fingers carefully. You were being gentle, yet somehow that annoys the cupid, he’s not that delicate.
He muffles the sounds emerging from his throat by pressing his face on the pillow. He doesn’t like hearing himself sound so whorish…for the lack of a better term. He writhes on the bed, laying on his stomach while he lets you have your way with him. His ass beautifully bouncing with each nudge.
His cock grinds on the soft cushion, the friction immensely satisfying him, a whimper spewing out. After a while his hips start moving on their own, the teasing of his wings getting to his mind.
“Are you that desperate, angel?”
“It feels good…” He says, moving away from the pillow. He can’t see it but he’s well aware of how he’s drooling on it.
“Alright, I’ll let you.”
He lets out a grateful hum, his wings fluttering as he positions himself. He then squirms as bright light greets him, your fingers taking off the blindfold. Thoma’s taken by surprise, seeing your smile and lifting his body up with ease.
The ties on his wrists make it difficult to resist. Not that he wants to, anyways.
You position him to face you, his hands still behind his back.
“Do it then, since you’re so desperate to get yourself off.”
His mouth gapes, not sure how to reply.
“I-In front of you?” He can’t even look you straight in the eye even when just having a normal conversation and you want him to…do that when he’s positioned like this?
“Must I remind you what your notes say again?” You tease.
“N-No! It’s okay. I’ll do it.” Thoma states.
He grits his teeth, his face burning while he starts moving his lower half.
He’s shaking but it’s more due to the fact that you’re staring at him while he moves his body as if he’s performing for you. He wishes he could put the blindfold back, to at least relieve himself of the humiliation and pretend that you aren’t there.
He can’t cover his mouth or his eyes, forced to sink in the shame.
Thoma’s not good at this, his movements are sloppy, and each tingle he feels has him needing to stop and take a breath before he could continue even further.
You’re not saying anything, just looking at him with boredom in your eyes. He worries. Did he do something wrong? Is he taking longer than you expected?
And just like that, he crumbles.
“P-Please look at me.” He begins to quicken himself, allowing his mouth to let out whatever lewd sounds it wants.
He looks at you, eyes half-lidded from how he knows that each thrust on the bed succumbs him even deeper and closer to his climax.
His pleas eventually mix with moaning. His voice gets louder as he chants your name, as if he’s fucking you when in reality all he’s doing is humping the bed pathetically.
Shit.
With a sultry whine, Thoma’s drenched in white.
White that matches his skin, his wings, his tears.
He trembles looking at you for some sort of approval. He excitedly awaits your response, seeing you come towards him.
“Great job.” The cupid expects a pat on the head with those words, though what comes after was more surprising.
A soft kiss planted on his lips, perfectly soothing away all his worries. The cupid’s heart feeling as if he’s the one struck with the arrow.
Oh no.
He’s supposed to make you fall in love, not him!
#sub thoma#dom reader#sub genshin impact#sub genshin#dom!reader#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x reader#thoma x reader#sub!thoma
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I feel like Logan’s death really commandeers the conversation about how terrible season 4 of Veronica Mars is (understandably so it is horrific) but there’s literally SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT 😭
Veronica isn’t Veronica and Logan isn’t Logan (really NO ONE is truly in character anymore). Rob Thomas clearly has NO IDEA what healing actually looks like so Logan becomes this pop psychology stereotype with no depth or emotion and like Veronica literally says A POD PERSON. And he describes his therapy as controlling his anger so it doesn’t consume him. That might have been the move as a temporary band-aide immediately to stabilize his life after season 3 but what like 12 years later???? When season 4 starts? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Fire that therapist immediately 😭 He should be WELL into the source of his anger. Healing isn’t about control it’s about surrender and acceptance of your feelings and developing healthy coping strategies to process your newly uncovered feelings so you can live WITH them not in spite of them. There’s a reason so many “good guy” characters are so one dimensional and boring it’s because the male writers writing them literally have NO CLUE what a healthy well adjusted men act like 😭 - (Ted Lasso was so rare because we had good men writing good men)
And yes we know Logan punching people does it for Veronica but that’s because it is ALWAYS in defense of her but his safety and well being is always her number 1 priority (he pulls a gun to save her in the Fitzpatricks bar and she screams at him because she doesn’t want him to get hurt or killed in his attempt to defend her and she’s terrified). Him just punching a kitchen cabinet in rage and frustration is NOT the same thing at all and she would show concern in that situation not immediately instigate sex ROBERT.
The idea that Veronica did ZERO growing/healing/processing in those 12 years is so insulting and just not realistic - once she got space and distance she would have come out of fight or flight and been assaulted with all the repressed emotions from seasons 1-3 before law school yet somehow she’s WORSE than she was when she was younger with less stability and support and capacity to handle everything she was dealing with.
Especially after everything established in the movie!
“Are you gonna ask me if I did it?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I thought you did”
THE AMOUNT OF GROWTH THAT SHOWS IN VERONICA IS ACTUALLY INSANE. Miss never trusts anybody, suspect EVERYONE until your can verify the truth - believes Logan and Weevil AT THEIR WORD. Trusts THEIR CHANGE implicitly and picks helping Logan and Weevil BECAUSE SHE CARES not because it’s a fucking addiction as Rob tried to frame it in the movie 💀💀💀 Veronica always helped because she’s SOFT because she has a good heart and can’t help but help when she knows she can which is classic of parentified children - you believe everything is your responsibility to fix if it’s in your capability to fix. Does she get neurotic trying to solve cases? Absolutely! But that is trying to control and fix external problems as a distraction from her own. It was a coping mechanism and taking that coping mechanism away in the 9 years between season 3 and the movie would have caused serious problems for her that would have forced her to confront her issues.
Season 4 could have been Veronica having a complete break down from her always too full plate coming crumbling down trying to help and fix too much combined with logan being gone and always at risk when he is gone, Wallace bringing new life into an increasingly corrupt neptune she can’t seem to save, Mac working for Jake Kane?!!?! I would have loved If instead she was helping Mac deal with the swapped at birth thing they NEVER touched again. Combined with her dad’s health problems and Weevil falling back into his old habits. She is someone who feels responsible for everything and everyone around her because everyone blamed her for EVERYTHING when she was younger and eventually that catches up with you and THAT is what I wanted to see her strength crumble forcing her to be truly vulnerable and instead of asking for favors asking for HELP allowing her to stop acting like a woman written by a man and act like an actual adult woman BY women who actually understand that experience. Rob was SO out of his depth - his portrayal of Leanne in earlier seasons already proved that.
But that’s just one of literally 1 million possibilities that would have been better than the direction Rob chose. He managed to strip away everything we loved about ALL of his characters until they were ghosts of themselves and it makes me SO UPSET 😭 because he literally revived a show just to finish the destruction path he started in season 3, that had started to be corrected in the movie because it was so controlled by the fans.
Rob and Joss - two men who’s success was built upon a largely female audience and then their misogyny caused them to try and destroy everything their audiences loved 🙃🙃🙃🙃
#thanks I hate it#veronica mars#fuck rob thomas#fuck joss whedon#logan echolls#season 4 veronica mars
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Hello! I have a very particular sort of scene that I've been trying to get right for over ten years now and I can't make it work; I hope perhaps you can help.
A husband and wife duo who have Mixed Feelings about one another are trying to break out of a facility. (He was recently discovered to be a spy, she is a conscripted soldier in the facility. She was sent to escort him to execution but hesitated - I'm not sure where, in the cell, in the hall? - and - he took advantage of this hesitation? she was arrested as a traitor? - I don't know that either, yet - and they end up running through the halls together to escape)
The facility is vaguely sci-fi; think Star Wars Original Trilogy-style weapons, and there is space travel, but technology isn't... wildly advanced. Like it's not all digital and holograms and hand-wavey stuff, it's only a little more advanced than what we have available now. (Like SW OT.)
Point A is them in the cell. Point B is them on a spaceship breaking free.
I cannot get them from Point A to Point B with any kind of plausibility, or without staggering incompetence on the part of the soldiers and commanders in the facility.
They would likely be armed with only her sidearm, unless they happened to grab rifles off of further escorts sent with her?
I'm sorry this is so vague, thank you in advance for any help!
Personally, I’m of the opinion that any scene that’s been marinating in the brain for a long time (especially for years) has deeper structural/internal issues than just putting together action. Just from reading your question, I can feel the way you’ve laid this specific scenario out breaking your own suspension of disbelief. You’ve got several problems that have built up over time and, now, they’re all working against you.
Change if it’s Not Working
One of the best pieces of writing advice I ever got came from being forced to memorize my martial arts school’s Ten Steps to Mastery as part of my first test for black belt. I only remember the first five and I can’t guarantee they’re all in order.
Set a goal
Take action
Pay attention to detail
Practice, Practice, Practice
Change if it’s not working
Regardless of whether you’re practicing a front kick or writing a full length novel, flexibility is important. The more we try to force something to work, the less likely it will. Training flaws into your technique means they’ll be more difficult to correct later. So, don’t forget to stop and look at the larger picture if you feel yourself getting stuck.
Remember, change isn’t failure. Writing is a complex process and not every idea, plotline, character moment, or scene is going to work out when fit into a larger context. And that’s okay.
Outside emotional exhaustion and stress, my writer’s block kicks in when I’ve taken a wrong turn in the narrative or am avoiding a difficult emotional moment that my characters need to face before their story can progress. Something has made me/them uncomfortable and instead of facing it, I’m attempting to avoid the uncomfortable feeling by throwing some other distracting piece, usually action, in the way. I call these moments false notes. I usually hit them when I’m coming at the story from an external perspective (what have I seen other characters do in other stories/films?) rather than an internal one. (What would this character do?)
If something isn’t working, stop trying to make it work. Instead look for what you’re missing, and where the pieces aren’t connecting. It’s usually further back than the scene you’re working on.
My characters are always right. I’m either not listening or going about it the wrong way.
Food for thought.
Your Heroes are Reactively Active
We hear a lot from the writing community about the importance of Active Characters. These are characters who are doing things to move the plot forward. They make choices. They take action. Then, there are passive or, what I like to call, reactive characters. They are characters who react to things in their environment, whatever that is, but they’re not actively making choices. Passive characters get a bad rap in American storytelling tradition (more so than in the wider Western storytelling tradition.)
Passive characters really shine when working with characters who are in settings where they’re struggling to survive. In the real world, passivity is one of the best ways to survive abuse. Any victim of long term or systemic abuse can tell you that standing up and fighting back, especially in situations where you have no power or means to change your circumstances, makes the situation exponentially worse. You’ve got to gray rock it out, suppress, and survive.
Lastly, there are characters I like to call reactively active. These are characters who feel like they’re being active but are actually just reacting to actions taken by other characters. They appear a lot in YA Fantasy, but they’re everywhere. And, because these characters are always reacting to another character’s (usually the villain’s) actions and choices, they get an easy out when it comes to escaping narrative consequences for the things they do. It’s a deceptive sleight of hand used to maintain a character’s moral purity. These characters appear active on the surface, but, underneath, they’re passively reacting to the narrative events inflicted on them. They don’t take action. They respond to action with action.
Let’s get back to your scenario.
We have a husband and wife in some sort of heavily or, at least, decently fortified, military installation. The husband has been outed as a spy, put in whatever functions as a prison or holding cell within the complex, and scheduled to be executed. The wife is a loyal soldier who must now choose between her love for her husband and her love of duty.
This has the makings of some good drama.
The first obvious problem point is that these characters are trying to do too many things at once. They’re coming to terms with their deep feelings of betrayal, experiencing a last minute change of heart, making a snap decision to escape, and rapidly coming up with a plan to escape in the heat of the moment. If this feels unbelievable, it’s because it is and, even better, doubles for putting the characters in a reactive or passive state. The wife character isn’t acting, so much as she’s reacting last minute to the immediate, impending danger. That would be fine if she wasn’t also having to help carry the burden of coming up with The Plan.
There’s the surface level here, where the last minute change of heart is mimicking the kinds of behavior seen in countless other forms of media regarding escape scenes. However, this narrative decision happening in the heat of the moment is also allowing the character to skate over the emotional consequences of her own betrayal. She’s not choosing so much as she’s being forced to make a choice. And that is removing her agency.
If she makes the choice earlier, starts putting The Plan in place with the help of some friends/colleagues (even if it happens largely off page) then executes at the cell, she takes back her agency and retains her status as an active character.
The difference here is in the processing time. Characters can’t plausibly escape fortified lock up without a plan or, really, The Plan.
The Narrative Structure of Last Minute Rescues
The first problem in your scenario is that you have two characters, neither of which are doing the pre-planning legwork required to successfully execute The Plan. Rescues are like heists, they either take a village or require characters who are extremely meticulous and actively manipulating the village to fill in the gaps. (James Bond does Option 2 beautifully, but even he has a team behind him.) Usually, both happen to some degree. The burden is segregated out into different pieces for different characters. Normally, there’s at least three. The character locked up is trying to figure out a way to escape, but comes up short. The one on the outside who is putting together the pieces needed to execute the rescue/get away. And, sometimes, the one on the inside who is experiencing a change of heart, who, at the very last minute, turns heel and assists with the rescue (most often in the turn of misfortune where a piece fails and the rescue is at risk of being bungled.)
All of this additional weight/build up/expectation of the non-existent plan is being put on two characters and crammed into a single scene.
Think about the rescue of Princess Leia from the Death Star for a moment. How many characters are required to make that escape work?
Seven.
All of them. If a single character in the entire group is missing, the whole thing falls apart. Even Threepio is necessary, mostly because Artoo can’t talk. This off the cuff, by the seat of our pants rescue requires all seven characters and they still end up bungling it to kill their samurai master.
You need one to turn off the tractor beam so they can actually escape. (Doing the real work.)
You need one to figure out where the princess is being held, unlock the doors, and figure out where they are.
You need two to bullshit past the guards going in and one to pretend to be a prisoner.
You need one to bullshit past the guards a second time to save the one that can’t talk with the floor plan.
You need the princess to be the one to get them back out because she’s the only one with balls.
And none of it mattered because the escape was a trap all along.
While you don’t need these specific roles for everything, escaping from a heavily fortified facility is not a two man job. That’s where the feelings of implausibility and extreme incompetence are coming from. There aren’t enough characters helping to clear the way or be there as a safeguard for when things go wrong. This feeds into the next problem.
Soldiers, Spies, and Their Squads
We have another unintended scenario brewing at the same time. And that’s the exhausted retail employee going on a rampage and slaughtering their surprised colleagues. This really knifes your tension. By reacting to the immediate danger, the wife is not making an active, conscious choice with full knowledge of the consequences, and those consequences are killing people she knows, respects, is friends with, shares a camaraderie, or who are at least familiar to her. These other soldiers aren’t faceless goons. It’s a lot harder to pull the trigger on someone you know than someone you don’t, especially someone who has the same values that you do.
Soldiers aren’t characters who work alone. They have a squad. They’re part of a unit. They have a support network surrounding them that allows them to do their job to the best of their ability. Spies are the same way. They also have a support network which allows them to act to the best of their ability, even when it feels like they’re acting alone. Spies have handlers and they have assets, their job requires they build their own support networks so they have someone who can get into the places where they can’t. Those people may be witting or unwitting assets but they’re still there.
Both of these characters should have fairly extensive support networks to fall back on when in crisis. They’re in crisis. The crisis is both physical and emotional. Where are their people? Two characters who are social archetypes whose jobs and survival during wartime are reliant on building trust and skillful communication have no one willing to put their lives on the line to help them out? They only have each other? That’s staggering incompetence.
Spies aren’t assassins. They’re social animals. Soldiers aren’t lone wolves. They’re social animals. If there’s a structural failure here, it’s happening with your secondary characters. Ignoring the importance of secondary characters is a mistake that a lot of new writers make and I can feel those early mistakes being carried forward in this scene. This is what Hemingway meant when he said, “kill your darlings.” If an idea isn’t working, if it’s holding you back, kill it. Look at the problem and your work from a new angle. One good line or one good scene, regardless of your emotional attachment to it, doesn’t outweigh the entire work.
Plans and Floor Plans
If you’re having trouble coming up with a character’s escape, step back and take a look at the facility itself. Whether it’s breaking in or breaking out, you, the author, need to have a clear visualization of the entire picture so you can find the weaknesses or fracture points.
Plans are easier to conceptualize when you know what the dangers are and what defenses have been put in place to prevent what your characters are attempting. Which parts of the fortress are better fortified than others? Where does this military expect to be attacked? What have they done to prevent it? What are the patrols? Who are the techs? How does the military support itself while fending off attempts to damage its resources? Who handles the supply lines?
The boring minutiae of your world is what makes it feel real. Action is dependent on your world building and this goes deeper than just their weapons. The social systems in place guide how your characters fight. It’s there in how they perceive their environment, and how they recognize usable tools. If you build a functional and consistent world, the action will take care of itself because violence is a natural response to environmental threats. Violence seeks to exploit established systems, to gain an advantage over them. If the violence is imagined separately from the environment, the violence won’t feel real because it’s not reactive and it’s not reacting to environmental stimuli. From there, it’s not logical.
Ask yourself, why do we use guns?
Then ask yourself, why do your characters use guns? What does it allow them to do that they wouldn’t be able to do otherwise? Or, what does the gun do better than other weapons that makes it the preferred choice?
The answer for the real world and your setting might be the same, and they might be different. Both will influence how the character uses their weapon. How they use their weapon guides how they fight. If you’re lost, ask yourself questions.
For example, let’s take a last look at the prison.
Prisons are built with the expectation of keeping multiple people contained for an extended period of time, preventing them from leaving in the event of an escape, and preventing those who are sympathetic from breaking in to rescue them. What have the characters in your setting (not your protagonists) done to facilitate that goal? What safeguards have been put in place to prevent someone from leaving and entering?
In the real world, prisons are built in a way that two people can’t just walk out. There are points of entry and exit that are designed to be remotely controlled from secure locations and cannot be operated or accessed on the ground. You’d need someone (like R2-D2) who can access the remote functions to get someone past the exits that they can’t open themselves.
-Michi
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Hey, hope you are doing well ! I had a question concerning one issue i’m dealing with.
I’m a 19yo ENFJ. In the ENFJ ego development article, i recognize myself when it’s say « you imagining being criticized ». I’ve noticed that when i’m sharing an opinion, when i’m expressing my feelings, or when i let someone know that i didn’t like something they did to me, i imagine them saying like the worst things to me and i get angry, defensive, as if they really did. Lately it has gotten a little better because when it starts, i’m able to tell myself that it is all in my mind, that i can’t tell that they will react like this, that it won’t help to assume the worse, that those people would never do me like that. But it’s still is really stressful and overwhelming. Any tips to manage it and understand it better ?
You seem to be referring to underlying self-esteem and self-worth issues that are common for FJs, so I suggest you read past posts. As explained in the Type Dev guide, the key to personality development lies in the auxiliary function. It provides introverted balance to extraverts (as well as extraverted balance to introverts).
To be an "immature" ENFJ basically means Fe+Se often run away into extremes because there is no introverted counterbalancing force. Such ENFJs only know to define people's identity or measure their worth through external appearances. As long as you can maintain the appearance of being a good person through obtaining momentary praise from others, then you're really a good person? As long as you can maintain the appearance of harmony by submitting to others and denying the disharmony you feel within, then your relationships are really strong? Proper auxiliary Ni development should help counter this superficial way of thinking.
Do you live your life as though you're always performing? Is the way you behave in front of others the entirety of who you are? Is there nothing inside you that exists independently from how others perceive you? If you're constantly allowing others to define and measure you, you will suffer from insecurity, since your feelings about yourself will shift with every little change in the social winds.
Developing introverted functions involves forming a stronger sense of self with a solid personal boundary, and possessing inner substance that others don't always see and can't touch. As such, your opinion about yourself should matter just as much, if not more than outside opinions. An important aspect of ego development is learning how to be an independent individual, to stand on your own two feet and stand up for yourself as necessary. Of course, you can learn to advocate for yourself in a way that produces as little harm to others as possible, e.g., by improving your communication skills or conflict resolution skills.
The purpose of Ni+Ti development is to connect with the whole truth. It sounds like the root of your problem is that you don't operate on truth but merely on insecurity. The consequence of caring more about surface appearances than underlying truth is that you won't know the truth of who you are, and your naivete makes you gullible and susceptible to any and every attempt by others to influence you (for good or bad). But when you value the truth above all else and know how to connect to the whole truth of who you are, the words of others will only matter to you to the extent that they are truthful.
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so since the earth punch and being able to see the future are elemental abilities for ice and earth does that mean lily and coles grandfather could use it too and for ice we know aurora could see potential futures but what type of visions did brice have
Associated Reading
Yes, the ability remains the same from Master to Master, but they way they manifest has a chance to differ. Sometimes, but not always.
Brice’s visions manifested like Zane’s -> somewhat rare and impossible to call on command, but guaranteed to come true. Upon having Aurora, who did not inherit the Element but inherited the ability, Brice lost the ability to use it himself.
Aurora, meanwhile, had the ability to call upon visions at will, but what she saw was not always guaranteed to come to be (this comes back as a thing in S2 and S3 for Zangst)
Earth Punch is actually Cole’s NRG Ability, the super strength is the Elemental Ability. Regardless, Lilly’s abilities do not/did not differ from Cole’s in any significant way, other than the fact that she had less time to grow accustomed to using them, and thus Cole will probably be more proficient than she was with them
Earl’s (Cole’s grandfather) super strength did not manifest in him being able to lift heavy things, but in the way that he was able to withstand great amounts of force (like being an immovable brick wall that no force could knock over…hence why it was a problem when he was hypnotized). He did not have an Earth Punch, either— he had an Earth Kick instead! (Grandpa Earl out here not skipping leg day, I guess)
Jay’s mom could not fly or teleport for herself- her Electrostatic Levitation manifested as her being able to make other things levitate (granted that they were electrically charged beforehand), while her ability to Teleport works similar to Kai’s Pyroporting -> can warp between electrical objects/sources, but it could be from any source, not just ones she made herself. Albeit it weaker, but overall less strain on her body
Ray’s Firebreathing is more a Fire-Eating thing -> can inhale fire instead of exhaling it, and doing so also gives him a boost of energy (as opposed to Kai expelling a burst of energy). Ray’s Pyroporting does work the same as Kai’s but he can’t make it work in the air at all (and, inversely, he can get more creative with it when used the ground).
Maya’s Hydromorph does not require her to fuse with external bodies of water—she can essentially turn herself into a puddle, haha. Her ability to communicate with sea life also remains the same as Nya’s.
Mystake’s Inverse Anticipation is still absolutely in effect (as in, people happening upon her shop when she least expects it—especially members of her family—or her popping up to help at just the right times, just like Jesse) but she’s learned to school her expression to not be nearly as jumpy about it as Jesse (and not giving the people she affects a complete heart attack askfjdl). Her Random Roulette, instead of affecting her powers, actually affects objects she holds and/or gives to others (…including her teas, if she feels so inclined)
#ninjago#info tag#elemental compendium#legacyverse#mystake#maya smith#ray smith#libber gordon#lilly brookstone#oc: aurora alice-julien#brice#earl
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HOW TO: MAKE HIGH-QUALITY GIFS WITHOUT STRAINING YOUR STORAGE
i recently had a problem with one of my drives where i kept all my material and lost all my series and films i kept there - it was on my laptop itself and i’m selling this laptop soon anyway, so i didn’t think it was worth it to redownload over 100GB of gif material.
however, modern problems require modern solutions, so today i’m going to show you my new method for making gifs that means you do not have to download large files to your hard disk. tutorial under the cut!
i should preface this by saying it’s obviously better to download stuff you’re gonna gif frequently onto your hard disk so it’s easier for you, but if you simply don’t have the space or don’t want to get an external, this is a useful way to gif!
to start off, you’ll need:
a shared drive on google drive. (best practice is to make this shared drive on a throwaway account, too). you can generate one here. shared drives can hold a lot more than the 15GB free limit on your personal drive, but keep in mind that google can nuke these drives at any time, so you might want to keep backups.
google drive for desktop. available for both pc and mac.
a video player that can show thumbnail previews when seeking (like youtube). i use mpc-be on windows, but i don’t know which mac video players have this feature. you CAN get mpv to do this but it requires scripting knowledge and i simply cannot get it to work so i prefer using mpc-be.
handbrake to clip out parts of the video. mpc-be is a fantastic player but it can’t take sequential screencaps effortlessly like mpv, so we’re going to use handbrake.
photoshop to make the actual gif.
with all of that, let’s start!
PART I: GETTING VIDEOS AND OPENING THEM
when you’ve made your shared drive on your google account, you’re going to need to store your video files on there. i’ve joined a bunch of telegram p*racy groups for this and, if you’re in any gifmaker servers on discord, you can probably get links to stuff on google drive from others. if you’re having trouble, feel free to dm me (@shangs) and i can send you a link to a helpful server.
to copy stuff to your shared drive just press ctrl+c (or the mac equivalent) to copy the videos and ctrl+v to paste it into your drive. for tv shows, you can’t copy folders, so open up the folder and select all the episodes and paste them over in a new folder on your drive - that should work fine!
once you have stuff in your shared drive, we’re going to use google drive for desktop to be able to open it. download the app and log in and you should see your google drive showing up as a separate disk on your computer - “Google Drive (G:).”
open up the “Shared Drives” folder and your shared drive and you should be able to see your video files!
in MPC-BE, you have to manually check the setting to use thumbnail previews. in preferences, go to Player > Interface and check “Use the preview in the search.”
[caption: an image of the mpc-be preferences with the needed setting circled.]
this is important because we don’t have these files downloaded, so seeking is going to take just a bit longer than if you had the file all downloaded on your actual hard disk. the google drive app is constantly syncing your progress, so it’s way easier to navigate with the thumbnails than it is just fast-forwarding and haphazardly moving through an episode the way you would on a player like MPV.
PART 2: COLLECTING YOUR FOOTAGE TO GIF
i’ve started using handbrake for this part because i’d rather just get a video encoded than a bunch of screencaps if i’m not using my player to screencap. if you prefer you can always choose to screencap in mpv with the timestamp of your scene as well.
find the timestamp of your scene’s starting and ending (i generally just do 3-4 seconds after the start) and open up the video in handbrake.
at the top of the screen you’ll see some options that say Range: and then it goes by Chapters. change this to Seconds and put in your start and end timestamps.
if it’s 1080p, i select the “HQ 1080p30 Surround” Preset and change the framerate to “Same as Source” in the Video tab. i also make the content quality lossless at 0.
[caption: a picture of the settings described in handbrake.]
if you’re giffing something 4k, you will have to go into Filters and modify the colorspace at the very end, but i’m giffing 1080p here, so there’s no need. i have my settings saved as my own custom preset for both 1080p and 4k.
make sure, on the Summary tab, your video is being saved as an MP4. (it will export as an M4V, but this is the same thing.) photoshop won’t read MKVs.
set the destination to export and hit Start Encode - your video should appear in the destination folder when it’s done!
PART 3: MAKING YOUR GIF
there are multiple ways to make a gif in photoshop once you have your video from handbrake; you can go to File > Import Video Frames to Layers, or you can do Open > and just open up your video file. i prefer the second option since it opens up in timeline and will have the same framerate as the video so Ii can export directly from timeline as well with no need to go back to frames the way you’ll need to with screencaps.
with your video open, roll the playhead through until you’re at the frame where you want to start the gif, and then press the three dots at the corner of the timeline and click Work Area > Set Start at Playhead. go to the frame you want to end the gif and click Work Area > Set End at Playhead. this will set the boundaries of the gif even if there are extra frames.
that’s the basics of gifmaking covered. now just crop, sharpen, and color to your liking. i won’t go over them in this tutorial because it varies a lot by gifmaker and this tutorial is long enough already.
export by clicking File > Export > Save for Web or the keyboard shortcut Alt+Shift+Ctrl+S.
you should have a smooth looking gif like the one in the header above.
if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me on my personal blog @shangs or on usergif. happy giffing, and i hope this tutorial helped you out!
#gif tutorial#completeresources#userphotoshop#resourcemarket#userrobin#tuserems#userkosmos#usermorgan#tuserkay#useralison#usercas#usernik#userlau#arthurpendragonns#usersalty#userk8#*usergif#*tutorial#by v
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while i do agree that the new egg tasks rarely take in consideration single parents or external forces (travelling, events, meetups), i don't think the eggs are going to die from neglect.
the admins have shown that if the parents / primary caretakers is seriously unavailable they will try and get another member to take care of them (foolish counting as pepito's caretaker, roier being asked to do leo's tasks)
and we know that admins can and will play other eggs if their main admin is unavailable, i don't think egg neglect is an actual possibility anymore since neither party (streamer and admins) want that to happen
but i think they need to drop the whole non-parent penalty, or revamp it o_o since it makes everything much more complicated
Yeah it is very true that it is unlikely for the eggs to die from neglect now but there is always a possibility of miscommunication. Especially when the parent is travelling or busy and doesn’t reach out to the others in time or the egg doesn’t log on as much, which I think is why I’m having so much problem with it at the moment. Since a majority of the players are away and the system is really new, they others are not really going to be taking into account other eggs as much.
Really it’s just why now? We’ve know the dates for Eslands and the Streamer Awards for what feels like months now so it super strange in my opinion at least to be starting them now when barely anyone is able to log on. Plus again when so many people have expressed how they greatly dislike the tasks and cookies. Why are we still doing them if we don’t like them? Just to name a few: Fit said he thought it made sense that the tasks would go away naturally after purgatory due to the eggs surviving for months on their own; Phil even though he doesn’t really seem to care that much is never greatly excited to do them; Tubbo basically was speed running them mostly for money and typically procrastinated them before the reset; Foolish and Leo basically throw tantrums anytime the tasks are brought up and I’ve seen a bunch of viewers literally manifesting and praying the tasks were gone before learning they were back.
I think the admins are good when it does come around to it being a genuine moment of “maybe this egg might die” but I think they really lack in the hypothetical doom testing area before they put it into practice. The admins need someone with heavy anxiety and overthinking problems(like me lol) who would be able to think of every possible fault there might be. Like single parents who can’t log on as often aren’t always given support by others, parents/guardians to multiple eggs often experience the “how am I meant to feed multiple if I’m just barely getting one fed” every time it’s introduced and the “this task is impossible without another player & I’m the only one online” moments.
It’s just there are so many things that keeping slipping through the checks that we are already so aware of. So I think the best way to go about the tasks at the moment would be phasing it out or just plain making it optional. Especially since the tasks aren’t really liked at all.
By optional I mean, they just wouldn’t have to do it to keep the egg alive and it would be somewhat like the bounties. So the parents could do the egg quests for extra money and have the tickets be equal to something related to the eggs, like cosmetics or perks(hearts, armour, weapons) for the eggs.
But I heavily agree on the non parent thing, I think that really punishes single parents for no reason and kinda dampens the fun in hanging out with other eggs. Like Willy and Dapper, they aren’t parent and kid but if Dapper wanted to do the tasks with him that day then he should. Plus it could really strengthen their bond and make Willy want to play more as having an egg around kinda helps make the experience of qsmp more enjoyable especially when no one else is online.
Also I think the non parent thing and the tasks being the reason the eggs live another week does put a whole lot of outside stress on the ccs which I heavily disagree with. I think that this is a mc server to make connections and speak to people you never would have before. The eggs have proved to be great at helping with that so the stress of them dying because you weren’t able to log in that week kinda brings the whole experience down and negatively affects the chances of those situations happening. But if I had it my way the eggs would only be able to die the same way hunters of Artemis do, in combat (or possibly in natural situations).
#sorry i went on a bit of a tangent there lol#im not disagreeing with anon here btw im just very passionate about this topic and would like to speak to a qsmp admin lol#i just think i got very analytical in this post but anon is right#also the only problem with other admins playing different eggs is that sometimes it does mess a little with their character or rp -#like leo who genuinely wakes up for Foolish and if she has to/is madated too lol#like best example of it is leo on last day of prison was mad at foolish for him leaving her but typically she would just be happy -#to have found him again as thats whet she typically does#qsmp eggs#qsmp#qsmp neg#?? idk if its neg but ill put discussion tag too#qsmp discussion#asks
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TW for ED/ARFID talk
I'm severely emetophobic (to the point of ARFID) yet I love tummies so much? The noises, the smooth skin, how it changes shape depending on how full it is, the fact that we need them to keep us alive! Everything! But only online. I'm such a sucker for upset tummy fluff yet if someone said their stomach hurt in real life I would probably cry on spot and hold my breath around them forever. I think part of the love for tummies (or I guess you could say kink but it's not that sexual for me) is because I wish I could do it IRL. I wish I could comfort people and rub their tummies when they don't feel well. So instead I go to tumblr where I can do it no problem. I know this is rambling, but I hope someone relates
-lurker anon
TW: OCD, Emetophobia
hi anon!! thank you for sharing!! im sure a lot of us (including me!!) can relate!
i’ll share a little bit about myself! everything with me started as a child, and there are a lot of overlapping layers. i knew from an early age (literally by 5 years old) that it was exciting to me when cute boys had stomach aches (usually from being fed too much, throwing up wasn’t really on my radar quite yet but it makes sense because it comes with the territory). most of the pieces of media i can remember leaving an impact on me usually cut away or just insinuated that a male character was nauseous or too full by showing their face turn green or having them duck off screen. nothing was ever particularly graphic. this also led to a fixation on stomachs in general, especially the stomachs of bigger guys.
though i never admitted this fascination to anyone (and nobody ever shamed me), i felt weird because i knew other people didn’t share this fixation, so i kept it to myself and tried to enjoy it in private (this usually took the form of writing stories or seeking out media that possibly had sick boys in it. i was a real sleuth). i was a bit obsessive with it, but overall most of the harm was internal rather than external because i was convinced that to enjoy watching men’s pain and discomfort must have meant i was evil or that something was seriously with me.
the thing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is that when you explain your compulsions and thoughts out loud they sound silly because you know they aren’t true, but you can’t help but think them. as a child my thoughts told me that to become sick was an admittance of weakness (which, obviously is SO not true lmao) and that expressing vulnerability was a man’s job. i developed crippling emetophobia that has persisted into my adulthood. the idea with vomiting and its lack of control was absolutely horrifying to me.
a man being sick? there is nothing sexier.
but me?
i began to have panic attacks through middle and high school. this later led to contamination OCD, always being terrified of being sick, and again, worrying and having thoughts about why i found it so attractive when boys admitted they were nauseous (that i must be corrupt, a bad person, crazy, etc).
sometimes i think our brains help us cope with trauma and fear by throwing us a bone every now and again. my fear of losing control manifests in fantasies where i hold all the power. i use my fetishes to strengthen the relationship i have with myself: that im not evil, or wrong, or corrupt, or out of control, or crazy. im just a girl who does things a little differently, and control in my fetish life helps me feel more comfortable dealing with my emetophobia in real life.
anyway, that was a long tangent, but i hope this resonates with the people!! 😭 we just love tummies man. i too love the little sounds they make and what those little sounds mean, the look of them, the way they sit on people’s hips, the fact that they can bloat bigger or get smaller, that we anthropomorphize them by saying they get “upset,” the chest and nipples right above them—i could write a manifesto i SWEAR.
-the duchess 👑🦢
#the duchess speaks#emetophilia#emeto kink#tummy ache#belly ache#that was so long but the people need to know
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How to Stop being friends with someone that’s insecure? I’ve worked so hard to build up my confidence and I realized my negative thinking had come back more than usual after being with this friend because they’re complaining or comparing themselves to me saying I’m very confident and just always overthinking and I always have to soothe them in their thinking and it’s exhausting and rubbing off. I worked so hard to be the best I can be loving myself, I really appreciate this friend but, I can’t do this. Plus they would like to hang out more and more and if I’m busy they’re ok but seem bothered if I say oh I wasn’t going to hang out cuz something came up but - then instantly they would be subtly offended. They also asked me to do a project with them that I agreed to, and now I’m like.. oh no how do I get out of this entirely? I hope that makes sense?
Hi love! So glad for you that you've done the work to establish high self-confidence! Always remember that people's insecurities give you insight into what they believe they lack themselves. These behaviors are a reflection of their own inner turmoil and have little to nothing to do with you, your behavior, or your life choices. Here are my tips:
How To Deal With Insecure Friends/People:
Make differentiation a top priority: Even after doing the necessary inner work to have a healthy sense of self, this reminder is sometimes needed. Do not internalize other people's problems like they're your own. They never become your problems just by listening to others' complaints. You can choose whether to allow these external emotions to dictate your mood or inner world. Think of their constant complaints like you're watching a TV show or reading an engrossing book: You're emotionally drawn to the characters, but always a voyeur – not an active character in the plot.
Establish, communicate, and uphold your boundaries: Be direct and remain calm when communicating the topics you're willing (or not willing) to discuss when you're available (or not) to speak/meet up, when you need to end a conversation, etc. You cannot maintain the capacity to support others without first prioritizing/taking care of yourself.
Remind them of their strengths and capabilities: Using this tactic is a great way to be a supportive friend without internalizing an insecure person's baggage. Insecurity is a byproduct of low self-esteem. While it will take some effort on their part, highlighting the person's strengths can be a motivator for them to start working on some of their goals independently or check in a little less frequently. Encourage them to take immediate action on a project, new hobby, conversation, new career or course opportunity, etc. they're discussing with you. Frame it with a script that includes sentiments like "you're so good at/talented with "x" skill or subject matter, you should consider enrolling/emailing a contact/updating your resume, right away to take advantage of this exciting opportunity."
Provide them a chance to self-reflect: If the previous strategy is unsuccessful, feel free to kindly help them self-reflect on their struggles. Calling out someone's bad behavior directly must be done with tact and compassion, so make sure to use a "compliment sandwich" (positive remark, constructive criticism, positive remark, or likely positive outcome that results from taking action on said criticism) and only call out the missteps in someone's actions. Never personalize the person's bad behavior as a flawed personality trait (e.g. Behavior callout: Your constant messaging is draining my energy while I'm studying/at work. I don't think I'm the right person to help you. Maybe try to research "x" matter to ideate some creative solutions first. vs. Personality callout: You're so clingy. It's so draining and unbearable. Why can't you learn to manage your dilemmas by yourself?). Encouraging someone to analyze their behavior can lead to a new level of self-awareness for a person. Criticizing someone's character is both antagonistic and unproductive – you're making their insecurity seem like an inherent, unfixable trait rather than an opportunity for growth, evolution, and acquiring a new skillset.
Offer them a resource for support: Send them a quick link to a website or social media page to redirect their attention and provide them a chance to help themselves. Guide them towards becoming more competent – it's the key to self-confidence, as you probably know through your healing journey.
Don't reach out: Plain and simple. Out of sight, out of mind (unless for some reason you have reason to believe they're a danger to themselves, of course).
As a last resort, make it a "it's me, not you" situation and part ways: Once you've established boundaries and attempted to redirect their attention or promote self-reflection, you've done everything you can as a supportive friend. If they overstep your stated boundaries and expectations more than once or refuse to stop asking you to overextend yourself, let them know that their demands are past your personal limits, and you cannot take the weight of their frustrations. A nicer way to frame this is to communicate that you need to take some space from the relationship as you're heavily focusing on certain goals in your life at the moment.
Hope this helps xx
#friend advice#friendship#interpersonal relationships#relationship advice#boundaries#self awareness#self reflection#self help#note to self#femmefatalevibe#femme fatale#dark femininity#dark feminine energy#it girl#higher self#self growth#dream girl#queen energy#high value woman#high value mindset#social skills#successhabits#loa success#success mindset#female power#female excellence
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Hiiii Yara!!!!
I have changed accounts bc I forgot my password, but I was Flan-Girl304! I have been commenting in ur fics for years now lol, except in the last couple of updates, bc, yk, lost my password.
Anyways, I was rereading Accidental Reverse, as one does, and now I really want to know your opinion on the relationship between Sengoku and Tenma, because I love the idea of Sengoku being so protective and caring of the rest of the team and noticing Tenmas problems/struggles early on.
He really is like a pilar of peace between all the chaos of raimon, isn't he? (Most of the time)
Also, completely unrelated, but I just realized how long it has been since Accidental Reverse started, I was still in school. Now I'm on my last year in pyschology. And now knowing the struggles of university, I absolutely understand ur updating schedule, I haven't updated my own fics in ageeeees. But I'm still hyped for whatever you decide to post in the future!
Anyways, hope you're doing well!!!
WHOAAA I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, it’s been so long!!! Hi!!! How have you been??
I'm good, just super tired! University's been pretty demanding and I ended up pulling an all-nighter last night to almost completely finish my thesis, so I am going to bed very very soon.
‘’rereading, as one does’’ you know it’s almost 300K, right
Aww Sangoku, yes we love him. He’s great. He’s the best, hands down. He’s the voice of reason, the eye of the storm; he fades into the background when compared to other members on the team, both in terms of personality and appearance (...pink hair, anyone?)
I headcanon that Sangoku is the eldest on the team and that makes him feel responsible for his teammates. We know from the anime he’s already a very caring and responsible person, as shown by his interactions with his mother; she works late often, so he is in charge of groceries and cooking and other chores. He was canonically captain before Shindou and never really got rid of some habits from that time.
Which means that, just like Shindou, Sangoku understands Tenma's struggles as captain and tries to support him as much as possible; he did the same thing when Shindou was made captain after him, although of course the specifics are different because Tenma and Shindou are different. Sangoku doesn't really interfere with the leadership part; he's not one of the loudest voices on the team, and he doesn't want to be. He can leave the decision making to Shindou, Kirino, Tenma, Tsurugi, all the more outspoken members, all more qualified and talented than him - that’s what he thinks.
Instead he tries to help in more subtle ways: by caring.
(This doesn’t just apply to Tenma, of course. Sangoku keeps an eye on the whole team - literally and figuratively. He’s the keeper, he’s always in the back, always in position to keep watch over his teammates during a match, and that doesn’t end when the match does.)
He keeps an eye on Tenma whenever he can. Does he look tired? Upset? Ill? If Sangoku notices this, depending on the severity, there's a few different things he might do. If it's not that bad, he'll usually cue in the other first-years and let them drag Tenma along to hang out and unwind for a bit. The quickest way to get Tenma to forget about his worries for a bit is to let him spend time with his yearmates and act his age. They're a chaotic bunch and there's no room for worry or stress there.
If it's worse, Sangoku might interfere more directly. If it's more of an internal problem in the team, Sangoku can and will tell the others to lay off (Shindou means well, but sometimes he gets carried away). The rest of the team listens to him, and this is a rare enough event that the few times he's had to do it, it's been very effective.
If it's an external problem, Sangoku can't honestly do much. In those cases the whole team is stressed and trying to support each other, and as much as he wishes he could, Sangoku can't just go up to their opponents and tell them to knock it off. Instead, he'll ensure (by teaming up with the managers) that there's enough snacks and drinks present for everyone, and try to keep them all calm and rational.
Sometimes, when Tenma is being especially stubborn, Sangoku will outright scold him and tell him to go home, go to bed, take a break. Tenma definitely doesn't like this, but he respects Sangoku too much to deny him.
It's even happened a few times that someone else on the team cued in Sangoku. They know Tenma will listen to him, even when he's being stubborn, and they're not afraid to misuse it.
And always Sangoku is just ready with a listening ear, an offer to help, little check-ins, even when nothing bad is happening and Tenma is just busy or mildly stressed.
Like I said, Sangoku does this with most of the team, but he's more aware of Tenma. This, again, stems from having been captain himself. Early on, when Tenma became captain, Sangoku worried and tried to make sure the kid was doing alright, and that just stuck. Even years later after Tenma has proven himself more than capable, it's an old instinct that Sangoku can't get rid of.
And Tenma doesn’t really… know? Sure, after being captain for so long, he knows the dynamics of his team. How Sangoku is the voice of reason - no, rather, how he’s the calm inside the storm, the one who worries quietly and cares for them all and has taken the responsibility to watch over them through their craziest adventures and laziest days. He knows, by logical reasoning and several late night instances where Sangoku was the one to check up on him and tell him to get some rest, that Sangoku does it for him too and he appreciates that more than he could ever say. He just doesn’t notice that Sangoku is a little more keyed into his well being specifically - probably the only one who does is Shindou, and that’s because Shindou is the exact same way, for the exact same reason (they both agreed to make yet another first-year captain, when they know the burden of it; they refuse to let him drown under the pressure).
So Tenma hasn’t noticed, is not as close with Sangoku as some of their other teammates, and Sangoku honestly doesn’t mind. Truth be told, after so much time he barely notices it himself, it’s just become a habit.
Their relationship is interesting because they don't really hang out outside of the team - sure, if the team will go out together, they'll both join if they can, but they don't usually meet up with just the two of them. They’re both closer with other people on the team. Their relationship originated as simply senpai and kouhai - Sangoku feeling a sense of responsibility towards a younger teammate, Tenma looking up and listening to an older teammate. And yet it’s grown so much from what it was. Tenma knows Sangoku's door is always open and he can always count him. Sangoku respects Tenma as his captain, and cares for him as a friend rather than a kouhai.
Funnily enough, they’ve got a bit of a similar opinion on taking care of the rest of the team. Perhaps Tenma has been unconsciously imitating Sangoku’s behavior in the way he cares for them, and even handles them when they’re acting rash. It actually makes Sangoku his biggest ally in getting the team to behave! As we see in Accidental Reverse, Tenma is fully capable of being the craziest on the team, but in his actual timeline where he's captain, he's usually the semi-responsible one, if you'll believe it (in his defense, if something happens, he's the one who has to deal with the paperwork). And Sangoku is most often the voice of reason on the team, so he will fully support Tenma when they're trying to get the team to NOT do anything stupid for once.
So yeah. In summary, this is a relationship that was at the start nothing more than regular senpai and kouhai, and funnily enough never changed much in their roles - but the sentiment behind it? That has become much more genuine. Sangoku doesn’t look out for Tenma and feel responsible because that’s what is expected of him, but because it’s Tenma. And Tenma doesn’t respect and listen to Sangoku because he’s older, but because Sangoku has time and time proven that there are few people Tenma truly appreciates and admires more.
So! I hope you enjoyed that. Oh, don’t mention how long I’ve been working on AR, I know exactly how you feel. I uploaded the preview for it on my sixteenth birthday. In less than three weeks I’ll be celebrating my twenty-third.
I am still planning to continue though, I just need to deal with stubborn characters who don’t want to be written, tss.
It was really great hearing from you again!
#inazuma eleven#inazuma eleven go#ie11#ina11#ie go#ina11 go#accidental reverse#accidental reverse ask#matsukaze tenma#sangoku#sangoku taichi
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Can I please have SBI with a sibling reader who always feel like their on fire due to anxiety and the SBI giving them cold things to cool down (My anxiety cause me to feel as if I'm on fire, so I always have a cold water bottle or ice pack on me)
-💛🔥
So since this isn’t something I personally deal with, I tried to do my best without like overstepping any lines, if that makes sense? Ah anyways I hope this is to your liking and I hope you like it :]
Pairing: P!SBI X Reader
Pronouns: none used/gender neutral
[A/n]: Requests are open :]
So each SBI member does a different thing to keep you cool. They all have their own little thing to help cool you down or to lessen the heat for you.
Phil uses his good wing to fan you gently, if you’re at home he’ll give you ice cream or an ice pack to help as well. If you’re away from home he’ll help to get you to a shady area before fanning you and grabbing a cool bottle of water for you.
[“Here eat this.” Sliding a bowl of your favorite ice cream, Phil goes to stand behind you. The light fluttering of his large wing creates just enough of a breeze to cool you down without disturbing anything in the home.]
Wilbur would carry around a small bag full of cold drinks and snacks for you to have, it helps cool you off internally rather than externally. If you’re at home then you can find this bag somewhere in the kitchen, but if you’re away from home then Wilbur will have it on him. He restocks it constantly to make sure there is enough in there and that nothing goes bad.
[“Do you want the red or the blue?” Wilbur held two drinks in front of you, waiting for you to pick one before placing the other back into his bag. He then pulled out a handful of snacks, opening the one you wanted before shoving it into your hands.]
Tommy and Tubbo kind of hand in hand as they both do similar things. They carry around handfuls of those instant ice packs, the ones you squeeze to activate. They do this over ice packs so that they don’t have to worry about keeping them cool, they can also carry more at once. Whether at home or away from home, they’ll have several on them constantly, they even hide a few around other's homes just in case they run out.
[“Here hold this.” A cooling pack was shoved into your hands rather quickly, more being soon pressed against you. “Stay still (Y/n), we’ve got you.”]
Something that Tommy does that Tubbo doesn’t though is to pour water on you (assuming you’re waterproof). He targets specific areas so as to not ruin clothes or other things. He’ll get the underside of your head, soaking the roots of your hair so that it will keep you cool. He also targets your hands and (if available) your feet.
[“Alright, hands.” Having already gotten your head, Tommy moved on to your hands, wanting to pour the cool water over them to both cool your hands and to allow you to spread the cool water over yourself. He would next ask you to remove your shoes so that he could get your feet as well.]
What Tubbo does that Tommy doesn’t is carry around cooling gel, rubbing it into key points on your skin where you either feel the hottest or where he can reach.
[“Alright, I got all that I could reach on my own, do you think you can get the rest?” Tubbo held the tube of cooling gel out to you, watching you with concern as he waited for your answer.]
Ranboo can’t do much to help, his inability to carry water or interact with it makes it harder for him to help. To combat his water problems, he carries around fans. Some are the little handheld ones and some are a little larger, all run on alternative power sources so they don’t require an outlet to work. He will hand you a fan and set up others around you to cool off as much of you as he can. He’ll also pull you into a shady area and insist you sit down for a few moments, also insisting you remove a few layers of clothing if you wear several.
[“Hold this one, I’ll set the other ones up while you just sit there.” There was no arguing with the tall, ender boy, especially during a time like this. So you simply sat there, cooling as much as you could with the smaller fan while he bounced from spot to spot around you, positioning a ton of other smaller fans to point at different parts of you.]
Lastly, there is Techno who isn't the best help, but he does his best. He would spend a lot of time trying to find a potion that would help cool you down when consumed, but while that was in the works he would work on other things. When at home he would run you a cold bath or shower, letting you climb in to soak and lower your body temperature. If you’re away from home he’d look for a shady spot or the nearest cave as those are going to be the coolest spots. Aside from that, he’ll carry a small pouch with cold items, which include but are not limited to jewelry, orbs, and cloth. These can be placed or held anywhere to target the hottest spots.
[“(Y/n), I need you to hold this.” Techno handed you a larger, smooth stone. It was cool, the stone lending its coldness to you, allowing the chill of it to sink into the flesh of your palms. As you held the rock, Techno placed cool, but not damp, rags onto your shoulders, back, and legs.]
Taglist: @frowniing (if you’d like to be tagged in specific works just let me know :] )
#mcyt fanfiction#mcyt x reader#mcyt x y/n#mcyt x male reader#mcyt x you#mcyt x gender neutral reader#dsmp fanfiction#dsmp x reader#dsmp x you#dsmp x Y/N#dsmp x male reader#dsmp x gender neutral reader#dream smp fanfiction#dream smp x reader#dream smp x y/n#dream smp x male reader#dream smp x you#dream smp x gender neutral reader#p!SBI x male reader#P!sbi x reader#p!SBI x gender neutral reader#p!SBI x you#p!SBI x y/n#x reader#x male reader#x gender neutral reader#x reader platonic#x male reader platonic#x gender neutral reader platonic
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Got to save the best worst for last.
Luna takes the damn cake as always... The biggest bully of the whole bunch.
And Usagi leaves crying and now Luna realized she was being for real.
I just... This still baffles me. I know I have talked about it before.
How could you let this sentence
slip out your damn mouth?
She told yall a story about what happen between her and Mamo in the apartment in which she felt like she's not good enough for him. She stood her and was like " Hey yall help me out so I can better myself for him." But yall dipped, didn't take her seriously yet again, and have the fucking AUDICITY to say that shit to your damn charge.
So let me just sum up the first few mins of this episode
Usagi: I feel like I’m not good enough for you and I’m not wife material. I can’t do nothing right.
Mamoru: Don’t be silly. You are fine the way you are and I love you for it.
Usagi: Maybe I need to learn certain things like wearing a Kimono, Cooking and English to make myself more mature and wife material.
The Other Four: Thank god he didn’t die from your cookies and you are not going to learn these things after we tried to teach you before . You are a bad student because you don't take things seriously.
Luna: You are not going to learn these things because you don’t even try and at this rate he’s not going to marry you because you are not wife material.
But the 90’s anime have the best friendships….
Have better friendships than Crystal and the Manga.....
This is my second time watching this all the way through and it still pisses me the fuck off
Is it even a question WHY Usagi’s self esteem in the 90′s anime was so damn low?
When you have scene like this just stomps on any self esteem she has left?
Like they just fucking dogpiled on her after Mamo tried to claim her down.
One of my main problems with the 90′s anime is they took a lot internal things that Usagi was struggling with and made it also external.
So like with Usagi struggling with thinking she’s not mature enough for Mamo,or her grades not good enough for him as well you have outside forces like her friends telling her the same shit and making it worse.
So it’s negative internally and negative externally as well meanwhile with the manga it was major internal.
It’s her internal thoughts being negative while people on the outside(aka her friends and Mamoru) is telling her differently and lifting her up. Which helps her out internally cause you have positive thoughts from the outside cancel her negative thoughts.
This whole scene with the girls and Luna is a prime example of this in motion.
She already feeling internally that she’s not good enough or mature enough for Mamo to be even considered wife material when she was in his apartment and broke down crying over the cookies and science book and then you got fucking Luna externally telling her that exact same thing after Mamo tried lift her up.
Mamo: trying to calm her from her insecurities.
The girls and Luna: Shit on her insecurities more.
Like what kind of friendship is this? A very toxic one.
She told them what happened so maybe they tell her the same things he said and say it’s ok and she's fine the way she is but nope. The convo ends by Luna reinforcing her damn insecurity of not being good enough for him by saying he’s not going to marry her.
She have saved the damn world four times at this point if you count the Doom Tree arc and R movie along with the first two seasons.
She have seen that she becomes a queen that is highly respected and loved.
You are going to say that bullshit to her and measure her self worth like that?
She becomes a damn queen, a mother and a wife for fuck sakes!
Like Luna has always put so much emphasis on her being a princess and saying that she should handle her responsibilities more.
Now this one time that maybe she finally wants to mature and finally put effort to it for herself and handle responsibilities y’all dipped and Luna throw it in her face( like she always do) that she ain’t going to amount to shit and Mamo is not going to marry her?
Like I said people have the audacity to say Crystal Luna is too nice to her while 90’s Luna tries to toughen her up and give her “ tough love” so she can handle her responsibilities.
What the fuck is telling your princess that the dude that she loves who just said she fine with her imperfections a few mins ago that he may decide not to marry her if she doesn’t get her act together ???
That sounds like a toxic mom figure to me!
But yall still is not ready for that convo.
Or the whole convo in general that this girl who have save the world is being told over and over again that she's not good enough for her boyfriend. That he has more worth than she do.
So!
Are we getting that go me fund yet for Usagi to get better friends and a cat???
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Hello, I’ve been in your situation of avoiding art and feeling that everyone can just overcome it and freely draw without artblock or whatever. I’ve been avoiding my studio room where I keep my computer setup. Not going there = not drawing, right? And like you I’ve been avoiding it by doing other thing (that I actually enjoyed and were useful but still knowing I was doing them in the first place to avoid drawing). Going to sleep late so no energy to draw. I was always pretty positive about mine and everybody uniqueness in regards to art style, but slowly I was becoming more and more envious of my art friends and beating myself up. "Why is their art so good? They don’t even practice that hard" "My art is so mediocre, what’s even the point to keep drawing?" Needless to say….im still working on getting better. Of course this change didn’t happen in a day, it was a slow process also determined by external factors (that I was unable to control) to get back to the beginning: I’ve slowly geo back into drawing. Nothing fancy, but once a month I attend a life drawing class, we aren’t that many students but the age range is wild (one 72 yrs old lady always bring some food) and reminded me that drawing really has no age but more importantly does not have an expiration date. Maybe now you can’t even pick up a pencil but it won’t be forever. You feeling bad for not drawing shows you actually want to draw (still, not a good feeling I know ✋🏻) and how much you care for art. Talking maybe with peers might help. Also doodling mindlessly is a very stress free activity (like the doodle you make during a phone call) and you might get motivated to draw (sorry for my English)
Hello kind Anon. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one with this problem. I kinda knew that but it doesn't really sink in until someone comes forward and tells me it happens to them. It's hard to accept that getting to where I want to be with my art won't happen overnight. But knowing that it will happen little by little is reassuring. I hope your journey towards being the artist you want to be is kind to you. And your life drawing sessions sound fun! I would like to go back to live life drawing classes. I'll try. Thank you!!!
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Anon wrote: Hello there, I hope you enjoyed your summer break! I'm the INFX anon from the post on June 30 (721567168810057728). I struggle with anxiety so I had trouble opening your response for months, until I did so today. I saw that you didn't receive the second half of my message and couldn't make a thorough analysis based on just the first half, so I figured I could try doing sending it now. I stopped somewhere halfway through describing my Se Inf, so I'll continue with that.
[I'm going to copy the previous post to put everything together.]
Hello, I am INFX, 21 y.o. After reading your blog, taking some tests and understanding functions (hopefully) a little better, I narrowed down my options to INFP and INFJ. If you are able to, I would gladly use your help in determining my type. As for important information: I have a generalized anxiety disorder, I had depression for several years and I am still prone to depressive episodes. English is not my first language.
I will start with INFP functional stack.
Fi Dom: I have a fuzzy sense of identity, which is why I often don’t know what I like or dislike, get stuck, don’t trust my gut feelings, rely on others a lot in decision-making processes. I do tend to judge things as either good or bad depending on my beliefs, but the beliefs are weak. I don’t trust them unless they are built on a solid framework of knowledge and evidence. I need to know rather than believe. My emotions emerge seemingly from nowhere. I can’t identify what’s the reason for them and how to deal with them. But for some reason I still think I make decisions relying on my emotions, it’s just that if I always relied on them it would do more harm than good.
Te Inf: I have trouble understanding Te. I know Te is about external structure. Actually I rarely encounter extremely messy lifestyle as in Fi extreme and I can plan things decently, even if I don’t like doing so. Structure helps me and I need it in order not to become chaotic, so I always have an agenda and don’t like it when plans are cancelled. Especially in recent years I got better at structuring my life. Most of the time I know what to do to solve my problems, I just don’t want to do it. So I don’t think I’ve ever encountered Te grip (at least not from what I’m aware of). At my lowest points I did have trouble to take care of myself but I attribute it to depression.
Ne Aux: Ne is one of the few functions I can decently use and understand in a positive way. I often look for new activities to participate in, new hobbies (especially creative ones). I have 300+ tabs open at all times because I research many different topics at once. I can generate creative ideas (usually for my art) with the help of sensory experience (such as music). Often manifests in unhealthy ways - I use daydreaming to escape responsibilities.
I can find a lot of opportunities but I don’t indulge in them or follow through, which makes my interests shallow. I like making lists (of albums to listen, movies to watch, stuff to draw, things to do in general), but I rarely do what’s in those lists. I’d rather daydream about it than actually do something. This is one of my greatest struggles, because I have ideas and inspirations but they always stay in my head or on paper and never come to fruition.
What makes me think Ne is my Aux rather than Dom is that I am very risk-averse and not very extraverted (I know ENXP are the most introverted extraverts though), I have never been very positive either or extremely chaotic either.
Si Tert: I am prone to not stepping outside of my comfort zone. I want new experiences but at the same time I’m afraid of them. As I’ve mentioned before I am very risk-averse, not taking even calculated risks. Fear of failure holds me back. I’m afraid that the status quo may change not in my favor (it will all go downhill if I make a mistake, so I’d rather do nothing at all).
Moving onto INFJ stack:
Ni Dom: I struggle with perfectionism because I have an ideal image of things I want to implement and I’m too afraid I will fail to achieve the ideal; I have a perfect version of myself in mind which I strive to be one day (but often fail to come even close to it). I don’t have a clear picture of my future though.
I know that many people equate Ni with “insightful” thinking, which I cannot relate to. I “predict” the future in a negative way, always expecting a catastrophe and feeling paranoid at worst. I often jump to pessimistic conclusion way before anything bad happened. I keep telling myself that it’s better to keep expectations low in order not to get disappointed.
Se Inf: I cannot engage with physical world because of escapism. When I’m outside I don’t notice my surroundings at all. I go through life on autopilot. Even when I try to be present and focus on the current moment, my sensing is dulled, almost muted, and the engagement feels shallow. I’m always in my head, made-up scenarios are more comforting to me than the real world. I reflected on it for some time and decided depression is not to blame because my Se was unhealthy/unused before that as well, it just escalated.
My partner (ISFX) helped me feel more grounded so now I'm more aware of what's going on around me, but I'm still not satisfied. I feel disappointed after any external stimulation, such as watching a movie. Even though I listen to a lot of music, I often joke that I hate music because most of it makes me feel nothing and feels boring. Since nothing (or very little) touches me emotionally, I find it very difficult to form opinions about what I experience (unhealthy Fi?).
At the same time I fall back on Se when I feel very bad, e.g. I used to go on long, 7-10 hour walks when I was depressed, physically exhausting myself so I would not feel a thing. Still prone to this, doing something physical feels like an easy reward (you're still technically doing something even if it's meaningless).
Fe Aux: I value equality greatly and I am quick to jump into others' shoes (although I do not consider myself empathetic). I rely on others in decision-making process, I have to accumulate different viewpoints before setting my mind to something. I think my Fe is not healthy because I jump to extremes, desperately avoiding intimacy and social connections in general but trying to live up to possible expectations of select few whose opinion matters to me (such as my family or my partner).
I am afraid that authentic expression of myself is not something others would like, so I suppress my voice even when I have something to say. I avoid conflicts. I am ashamed of my preferences, likes and dislikes. I often envision a version of myself that would be palatable to most people. I often shut myself off from my friends and tend to think that I don't need friends in general. I also perceive every social interaction as a contest which I should win, when I compare myself to others I feel sick, so I avoid social situations.
Ti Tert: I have a strong fear of inferiority (from my underdeveloped Fe). I rarely notice any possible signs of Ti loop though. One thing I have encountered is falling back on intelligence to boost self-esteem. But since I believe that I am uneducated and unintelligent, this mechanism fails.
I also noticed the pattern of avoiding people whom I perceive as high-developed Ti or Ti doms because they make me feel lesser and uncomfortable. I am envious of their vast knowledge and the ease with which they share it. I wish I had more knowledge because my self-esteem depends almost entirely on it, I need to feel "smart", it pressures me to develop Ti but I fail.
I think that is pretty much it. Sorry it took me so long to give a complete answer, it's all a bit of a mess. I hope I followed your instructions properly. I think my main question is whether the conflict that is most prominent in my functional stack is Ne-Si or Ni-Se.
-------------------------------
As I said previously, the INFP stack doesn't fit. There is more than enough counter-evidence to rule it out. As for the INFJ stack, all functions fit quite comfortably. The negative patterns and characteristics you describe are typical for immature INFJs. I think you suffer from Ni-Ti loop much more than you are aware of. Perhaps it's a good idea to read through past INFJ posts to understand your issues better.
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hey, lys, i’m here to give feedback for the reading.
as you said, there could be, actually there is a fear of remaining stuck in this old cycle (i’ve been on this journey of healing, shadow work for two years and a half now). it’s been intense and heavy, with me always been in alert and not many people to rely on ( to be honest just my guides) so yeah, i guess there’s this part of my subconscious that is afraid that things won’t change, even though i have been changing and my soul is aware of that. it’s like in these years, so much has happened in my internal world, while the external not so much, so even the people around me can’t see me, they can’t really understand. it’s been quite lonely to be honest. while there’s a part of me that intuitively feels that this chapter is closing, my mind gets loud sometimes. and as you said at a certain point, i’ve lived most part of life, doing and doing, giving so much of my energy and soul, without receiving much in return especially in emotional matters so the idea that i can finally receive what i what sometimes feels impossible but when i quiet my mind, i can feel it, the truth, it’s like even my body is speaking to me.
thanks again for taking your time to do this reading for me, your words are always comforting, they give a sense of stability. i hope you know that you’ve helped a lot and that i’m grateful. always take care :3
I understand very well. I've been on a similar path as yours for almost the same amount of time and it's been very lonely. It got lonelier even, also cause of building new boundaries. This is also why I'm thankful I started going more into spirituality before it happened, so I could at least rely on my Guides as you did.
At times we'd like for others to come closer when we feel blue but it seems we made them used to us not needing anything so they just let us be (they may partially fear annoying us/going too far or yeah.. some just don't care that much as they rather get than give). Maybe talking could be of help (not everyone has the right level of emotional sensibility to get everything intuitively and they have their own problems too, which after the pandemic got worse for everyone), but it's not easy as there are other fears coming in between: not being able to explain, not being understood, being judged, feeling like a burden... it's not easy, so we end up doing it all alone and isolate even more. Despite it's not what is really suggested to do while healing cause thise way we lose touch with reality and our minds have it easier.
But when doubts arise, try to talk with them and ask them for their reasons, to check if they have real objective basis or it's just fears: it's probably the latter cause your mind has no tangible proof about what it will be fr. I again hope in those moments you can take a breath and then go forward holding hands with your mind and trust what you feel when you're gounded and calm, not when you're stressed, worried, tired and overwhelmed. Your intuition works best when you feel good and as one among soul, body, heart and mind. Keep taking care and be hopeful, it'll be fine I'm sure of that<3
Thanks for the feedback ofc!
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Hey, I’ve been following your IG page for a few years now. Really appreciate the care and quality you put into your posts.
Anyway, I would just like to ask for some confirmation on my Mbti type. For reference, I believe I am an INFJ 1w9 soc/sp.
Frankly, I think I’m quite good at manipulating people and their emotions, logic etc. to go the way I want. But I don’t tend to do it because I can’t be bothered to. Maybe it feels like there’s no point doing so since it won’t change the future anyway…
I have a focused purpose in life but I don’t actually have the energy nor resources to go and achieve it. I know that this purpose needs to be fulfilled but it’s draining to think about taking the action needed to achieve it - this mentality really annoys me. I always try my best in everything I do but the moment I feel it’s going to change the trajectory of my life, I chicken out. Maybe it’s a self-esteem issue.
Anyways, for the most part of my life, I really just enjoy staying at home and reading up on the 1-2 topics of interest every day. I never get tired of it somehow! Often, I am so invested I forget to nourish my physical self & yet, I wonder why I’m so hungry at 1am haha…
Also, when my loved ones come and ask for advice or to vent, I can be so detached that they think I have no feelings but really, I’m doing it for their sake. I have this sense of duty to make them see What they are and Why they feel the way they do. Sometimes, people need a good smack to realise that maybe, it isn’t as complex as it seems. Feelings cloud judgement and that’s why I always try to reason things instead of feeling them…
I’m not sure if what I said helps in identifying any cognitive functions but thanks in advance.
Yes, I think you're an INFJ. You show pretty good Ni.
Not so sure about the soc1 part but I don't see anything here that contradicts it either confirms it.
"Frankly, I think I’m quite good at manipulating people and their emotions, logic etc. to go the way I want... Maybe it feels like there’s no point doing so since it won’t change the future anyway…" "Also, when my loved ones come and ask for advice or to vent, I can be so detached that they think I have no feelings but really, I’m doing it for their sake."
Underdeveloped Fe. You use your aux Fe more like a tool or weapon than to actually aid your dominant Ni to face the external world or to do and be better. This actually also leads you to have more problems with your inf Se.
"I have a focused purpose in life but I don’t actually have the energy nor resources to go and achieve it... I always try my best in everything I do but the moment I feel it’s going to change the trajectory of my life, I chicken out."
Low Se problems.
"Feelings cloud judgement and that’s why I always try to reason things instead of feeling them"
This sounds either as E1 or E6.
Oveall in all you write I see good Ni and poor Se. I also see a clear FeTi dynamic, but as I said, try to work a bit on connecting with the good aspects of Fe instead of using Fe as a detached weapon - I also think that you justify yourself through twisting your Ti logic a bit too much.
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