dsmp if... you were a romance trope

i got inspiration (sapnap, dream, george, karl, quackiy, wilbur) 

sapnap (hockey x figure skater): - im in the middle of heartbreaker rn and SHUT UP - i LOVE THIS TROPE - IM NOT EVEN A FIGURE SKATER I DO TAEKWONDO BUT I STILL FROTH OVER THIS SHIT - and then in addition to that one tommyinnit is a figure skater and everyone else is on a hockey team “ice these hurts” or smt h like that - i love this trope. - anyway i think that this trope comes hand in hand with enemies to lovers - his hockey team and ur figure skating group are at the same winter sports competiton - and you have to share a rink - booooo - so everyday you end practice with the sight of a bunch of hockey buffs roughhousing in the stands, waiting for you to finish - and everyday a certain brunette one sneers and smirks at you as you walk off the ice - “had a nice practice ice queen/king?” he asks you teasingly - “shut up, yeti” you mutter back gratingly as you bump your shoulder into his build as you pass him - and he comes up with a new one everyday - and you quip right back at him, unphased - one day, he comes into practice early just to spite you - what he wasn’t expecting is to see how good you actually were on the ice - he sat there like “ :O” and just watche dyou glide across the ice with what seemed like barely any effort - and he watched how passionate you were in your craft and the dance - and bro was whipped right then and there - so that day as you were leaving he said “you were amazing out there” and it took u jumpscared - you were like “no insult today?” - and he was like “dang, didnt know u liked them that much ;) but not today, not for something as beautiful as that” - and i think you can guess where it went from there... :)

 dream (ceo and employee romance):  - AKAIAKAKAHAKH TELL ME YOU SEE THE VISION - i mean hes a ceo alr so its like one step in the door you know - anyway hes a ceo - bro wears those fancy ass suits everyday and has like a wine cellar mini fridge shit thing in his office  - any way you pull up to his headquarters one day for like an interview and you were so fucking nervous  - you ran into him in the elevator (and no clue who he was) - and you basically vented to him for the 30 second elevator ride before scurrying off to your interview - bro didnt even get dreams name or anything - he kinda just smiled and wished you well as you ran away  - he thought you were so cute  - and you thought dude was hot as fuck  - anyway you got the JOB!! LETS GOO - the next day, your supervisor is like taking u around showing u the works - ....and you meet the ceo - its dream - and youre like :0 and he’s like  *smirk wink* ;) “hey” - and youre like “well fuck hes the ceo i cant be in love with him” - and you avoid him - but he makes it his life’s mission to get on ur radar - in the break room, in ur cubicle, in the cafeteria, in the parking lot man is ON YOU LIKE A MOTH TO A LIGHT - eventually he convinces you to go to fancy dinner - and WOW hes paying?? so that shit was FIREEEE - fancy wagyu steak and 102379182 year old wine i mean cmon - it was good ok - he asks you out after dinner and assures u ur job wont be at risk and everything - ba da bing ba da boom  - now youre dating happily and he spoils the FUCK outta you  - lmk if you want this one as a big fic with dialogue

george (neighbors): - tell me why whenever i have my delulu daydreams with george he’s always a neighbor - very much boy next door vibes - omg HES YOUR COLLEGE ROOMMATE NEXT DOOR - stoppppp - on move in day he pulls up with his family and u with urs and youre like - “hi ! nice to meet you im so exicted to move in!” and bros like “same!” - sometimes hes loud bc hes talking to his friends but you dont mind - hes a cs major and ur  whatever u want major - one day you decided to start singing  rlly loud while cleaning - ur singing taylor swift - and then george could hear you from the room next door to yours - so he writes up a little post it note that was like “loved the concert! when’s the next one?” and stuck in on your door - you found it and started mad blushign - you had a crush on him since day one awwww - anyways you two started communicating via post it notes and songs played loudly through the walls <3 - till one day you hear boyfriend by big time rush - and then you play girlfriend by avril lavigne back - and then he slips you a post it note under the door and you open the door before you could read it  - and its an unspoken like thing that you start dating - its so romantic how you can saw you guys starting dating because of taylor swift !!

quackity (academic rivals): - DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THIS TROPE IT BRINGS ME LIFE ALRIGHT - alright - two law school students FIGHTING IT OUT ACADEMICALLY - you guys met in ur freshman year english class or some shit - clashed together in a discussion group - and its been game on since then - your texts with each other are flaunting texts - “hey alex, guess who got a 97 on the last midterm?” - “guess who got a 99 ;)” - over time, the texts started getting more and more hostile - people started to thing you two actually hated one another’s guts  - but in reality it was more for the thrill - but this continued throughout your law school careers - and you both become successful lawyers in the end!! - and when the headmaster calls you both into his office and says - “youre both valedictorian! congrats! you have to give a speech together” - well its like all the hatred faded away - you grinned and cheezed at each other before giving each other the biggest hug ever - so you both wrote a speech together - and soon the day of graduation came - and q goes at the end “i wouldn’t be here without the person who motivated me through it all, so thank you (y/n)” and youre like “hey man *sob* wtf *sob” - and you kiss him on the cheek and cheer to all the graduates  - after the ceremony he catches up to you in the parking lot, grabbing your wrist before you could go off with ur family - and blurts out word soup - and ur like what - and hes like “i really like you, and law school wouldn’t have been the same without you. can we be more than friends?” - and youre like “duhhh” and kiss him right there karl (best friends to lovers): - YOU ARE IN LOVE BY TAYLOR SWIFT  - that is the song for this SCENARIO - you two met when you were little kids in like first grade - your friends werent there on that day so you hung out with each other - hooked to the other since then and there - it was always “karl and you” and “you and karl” - you came as a packaged deal - through ups and downs you were there together - you graduated high school together and were going to the same college together now - while karl barely got into any romantic relationships, you seemed to be going through a few of them  - you were desperate for a love connection and honestly i aint blaming u - one day after a horrible date he came over to your dorm and u had an impromptu sleepover - you were in karls old shirt and some pajama pants and he was in his pajamas - and you two were just watching a movie together - before he turns to you abruptly, and you turn to look at him - and he’s like “you’re my best friend”  - and you saw a switch flip in him - since then, the dynamic between you two changed (for the better) - you became more flirty more touchy  - you started to act like you were a couple more and more - one day you saw him open his wallet to pull out his card  - and u saw that he has a picture of the two of you in his wallet - and then you knew that he was it for you - you ask him out that night - and hes so happy hes picking you up and spinning you around - <3 wilbur (musician x fan trope): - okay this is inspired by those tik toks that are like “did you see the way he looked at me” and its harry styles staring and eyeing down a fan in the audience like YES - and he’s a musician so it fits! - imagine lovejoy is like a HUGE HUGE Band so maybe this is in the future - anyways you and ur friend go to a lovejoy concert - for the sake of the story, youre not that big a fan of lovejoy just familiar with hits like sex sells and one day - the whole time ur friend is like “theyre so good hes so good its all so good” - you two end up a few rows from barricade  - and you and ur friend start screaming it up as you should - youre not oblivious to the way the lead singer keeps looking over in your direction, winking and smiling - imagine a sweaty, singing wilbur glancing over at you during sex sells and giving you a smile as he rasps out “you know sex sells i know that” - brb ascending to heaven - anyway a time comes when he stops to speak to the audience - he wastes no time - he struts over to your side of the stage and points at you  - “what’s your name?” - and you scream it at him - “what a lovely name!” - the crowd cheers - “ahre you single?” he asks with a grin on his face - the grin grows when u nod at him - “give me ur number!?” he asks and you nod at him as ur friend is dying next to you - he gestures u and ur friend to the front of the stage by the barricade  - and he passes you a marker and make syou WRITE YOUR NUMBER ON HIS GUITAR OR HIS SHIRT OR SOMETHING - oh yeahh go you go you thank yoU! let me know if you want any of these to become a bigger story/imagine and LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT A PART 2 WITH OTHER PEOPLE :D reblogs appreciated

“What are you, rabid?”

From the most recent chapter of Covered Kindling by @areus-in-a-little-cave :]

Close ups below

oh they scared :(

SOOO EXCITED TO POST THIS WOO :DD

Awesome commission of CK!Primeboys by @teethkid67!! Thank you so much for this art, it's so beautiful :] everyone go commission Teeth

I KNOW WE'RE NOT MOOTS BUT I HAVE SAPNAP BRAINROT AND YOU SEEM NICE

BROO NOT MOOTS MY ASS, NOW WE ARE :)

we also don’t gotta be moots for requests just a fyi

also since you didn’t specify what you wanted i just did relationship head canons :)

sapnap x reader hcs

ass smacker, without a doubt, he especially runs when he does it. he’ll like smack it as hard as he can and just bolt away

screaming matches. are a. must. there’s something for y’all to argue about, especially when it’s something stupid, and y’all are gonna scream in the middle of your shared kitchen about naruto as loud as you can in the most loving way ever.

random water balloon fights are also a must… but in the rain!!!

will scream in the most pitchy voice taylor swift songs in the car. he also hogs the passenger seat because he’s a little shit so hope you can drive

I guess this time there’s just no hiding, (fighting you make me restless.)

parings: hockeyplayer!wilbur soot x figureskater!fem!reader (+ c!philza & c!kristen they own the ice rink!) (mentions of platonic!c!tommy x fem!reader)

summary: you and wilbur meet for the first time after your schedules get mixed up.

authors note: OKAY SO I started writing this back in April and never finished it, but I recently read Icebreaker by hannah grace and I had the urge to finish it! the idea was an au of what if sbi were a hockey team! (pretty sure I saw fanart once of dsmp like that but it could’ve been american football or soccer??) I've literarily been editing and re-writing this for three days straight and I think it's okay, but I hope you guys like it! I'm excited to post it anyways!! Let me know if I should do a part two!!

*title is lyrics from set me free by michelle branch from the ice princess soundtrack!

Warnings: Hockey AU!, first meetings, flirting,annoyance-lovers, swearing, beardbur. YES. unedited! (If there is anything I forgot let me know!!)

Ice skates glided across the smooth ice, freshly resurfaced only a few minutes ago. The blades cut with every movement, leaving lines in your wake.

It felt so freeing, so weightless in a way. You always loved being out on the ice. It felt like another world permitting your feet to take control and letting your mind be free of your thoughts.

Warm-ups were always a great excuse to not practice your triple lutzes. You had been trying to get it down for weeks, and your coach told you to just take it one day at a time but, of course, you still pushed yourself until you got it perfectly.

You were glad your scheduled preparation was when no one was at the rink, so you wouldn't get distracted while practicing for regionals. The only people in the building were the Zamboni driver, Sam, and the owners of the building.

Once you completed your warm-up, you felt fully prepared to begin your routine. You took a deep breath and focused all your energy to your feet, taking a deep breath, tuning out the world. At that moment, it was just you and the ice.

Following your whole set flawlessly, It came time to go for the triple lutz, you moved faster but more immersed, and you push off the ground sailing through the air and spinning. When you landed on your opposite foot, you failed to gain your balance and collided with a thud. A sharp pain shot through your body from the impact, but you brushed it off quickly collecting yourself. You got up to try again.

The cold air hit your face as you staked back to your starting point in the middle. You concentrated again and went for an attempt at the triple lutz again. You lifted into the air and suddenly felt something hard crashing into you. A groan and another thud, this time from the person you had slammed into.

You landed hard on your ass and groaned. Thinking to yourself why the hell was someone else on the ice while you were. Annoyed you’d have to start once again You quickly looked up only to find yourself face-to-face with a handsome stranger. He was also on the ground having slipped from the impact of your body colliding into his.

"oh shit,” he mumbled. “are you okay?" he quickly picked himself up and offered his hand out. Your heart raced, and you felt warmth spread throughout your body.

Effortlessly he helped you to your feet. You realized how tall he actually was since he towered over you. You begin to feel a bit dizzy staring up at the tall man. You guessed it was from the numerous times you had hit the floor hard. It certainly wasn’t the butterflies punching in your stomach from the painfully attractive male.

“I'm fine,” you replied shakily. “ I wasn’t paying attention,”

He smirked down at you as you stood up. You were able to observe his features more closely the closer you stood to him. The stubble around his jaw and under his chin adds a rugged charm, while his curly and slightly disheveled hair partially covers his eyes. You swear you catch a little glint in that soft brown gaze.

Likely from catching the tremble in your voice only moments ago, inadvertently revealing your nerves. You silently scolded yourself for behaving like a teenager around this attractive stranger.

“It's okay sweetheart, I wasn’t paying attention either," The stranger's voice crooned and sounded like honey. Your knees slightly buckled at the sound of his accent dropping a few octaves lower.

What was happening?

You nodded silently, fiddling with your skating attire between your fingers in an attempt to steady your thumping heart. Your gaze involuntarily drifted downwards, taking in his attire.

He wore a hockey uniform with a distinct green stripe at the top and a white base. The jersey's padding accentuated his broad shoulders, and the prominent pine green number 14 drew attention. Overall, the uniform made his complexion appear less pale somehow.

The realization hit you. He was a hockey player who played for the team that practiced in this rink. Hell, you knew Coach Phil, who owned the rink with his wife Kristen your skating coach. They were like your parents, taking you under their wings at a young age.

The hockey team he coached was dubbed "The Crows." appropriately after his favorite bird. Phil told you the story of how crows were loyal to those who treat them with kindness and how they repay it back to you. It never bore you in the slightest the number of times he told you over the years.

Although you have never attended a game yourself. You weren't a fan of the sport. You didn't even know the basic rules. Since Kristen has informed you about the rowdiness and occasional violence that can occur, you never opted to go to an actual game.

Sometimes, when you finished your practice, you could hear the disruptive noise coming from the men's locker room down the hall. You would often roll your eyes and walk past the doorway with disgust over how loud they were.

The dislike of them wasn't personal you never had met any of the boys before. But something about broad-shouldered men doing nothing but finding some way to ooze testosterone poisoning every chance they got annoyed you for no particular reason. So you purposely avoided them at all costs.

There was only one person from The Crows you had spoken with until now - Tom, who preferred to be called Tommy, as he told you shyly. Although younger than the others, he possessed a charming yet bold personality. Strangely, you felt a protective instinct towards him, like an older sibling though you couldn't define why.

Since meeting Tommy, you had only talked with him in passing, but you knew he was a good kid and liked him.

You were lost in thought for nearly a minute and didn't speak to the hockey player standing close to you. He smiled and lowered his head as if he had spoken though you didn't hear him.

"Huh?" you blink.

He chuckles, and the sound echoes in your ears, causing your heart to pound again.

"I asked for your name, darling," he mused.

Oh...

And that nickname. It seemed as though he was intentionally trying to make you feel flustered.

You realized that you didn't even know his name you quickly abandoned any preconceptions about him and answered him politely.

"Y/N,"

When he heard how your name sounded falling off your lips he smiled genuinely. As if it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. It seemed to have a significant impact on him. His reaction stirred something within you. Like a strange connection between the two of you was forming from this one interaction.

"Im Wilbur- or Wil, that's what my friends call me,”

It was becoming increasingly difficult to dislike this man by the minute. You decided to have a little fun, thinking it couldn't hurt.

“Oh? So we're friends now?” You raised an eyebrow.

He playfully teased, "If that's what you want."

Cheeky bastard. You thought while smiling.

“Now if you don't mind darling, I have to practice."

Feeling a sudden shift in your head made you glare at the back of his head. Pushing off your stakes to circle around him and put a hand on his chest. Wilbur looks at you with a stunned expression, as if he's surprised that you dared to stop him. a

"I've only been here for twenty minutes. You are not going to take advantage of my practice time," you scoff. “I have at least another half hour left."

You didn't mean to come off in a snooty way, but the stress you were under was so overwhelming. Winning regionals was so important to you, and you weren't going to let this jerk interrupt your training, no matter how handsome he was.

Wilbur just shrugged.

“Sorry sweetheart but playoffs are coming up, and I need to work on my shots,”

Your eyes narrowed and you faced off in a staring contest. Stubborn as you were you didn't move an inch.

“Well, I am not leaving.” you crossed your arms over your chest.

The only thing to pull your gaze away from his was the sound of Phil coming down the stairs in the stands asking what was wrong.

You skated over to the open space where Phil was walking down the steps, ignoring the fact that Wilbur was trailing right behind you.

"Phil, I was here first, and my time is nowhere near done. However, Wilbur insists that it's his practice time that I am intruding on it."

"Listen, ice princess," Wilbur said with a hint of frustration. You reluctantly turn to face him, wearing a scowl on your face. "We're just a week away from one of our biggest games of the season, and we need to focus on practice. I can't waste time dealing with any of your bullshit."

The tone of his voice caught you off guard for a second. Which caused you to put your lips in a thin line. You weren't expecting him to get this intense over the situation. Then you knew nothing about him.

"Wil," Phil gives him a warning glare. This promptly shuts Wilbur up.

"Both of you calm down. We will get this figured out," he tries to reason. He yells for Kristen as she comes sprinting out of the office that posed in the corner of the rink with the glass windows looking out to the entire stadium. You watch on as there are hushed tones between the pair as they look at the clipboard in Phil's hands.

You hear Phil mumble out a string of curses. This causes concern to cross your and Wilbur's faces, but you don't say anything. Phil rubs his forehead as his wife turns to you with a remorseful expression.

"I'm sorry guys, We must've gotten the schedules mixed up.” Phil looks at you sheepishly.

Kristen starts by saying that the problem is currently unfixable. She explains that they have numerous prior booked events for the rink, making it impossible to alter the schedule.

Great. You thought.

Not only was it two weeks before nationals, but you also needed the space to practice. This was the only skating rink around. And you had a suspicion that the hockey team was bearing to be more stubborn than you were about this new situation.

Then you heard the words that made your stomach drop.

"you're gonna have to share the space on the ice."

After Kristen spoke, chaos broke out. Both you and Wilbur bombarded the married couple with injunctions and protests. This wasn't fair in the slightest.

They managed to convince both of you to settle down and come to an understanding. The consequences of not doing so would result in Wilbur being benched and you being unable to skate in the regionals this year. Losing the opportunity to compete was not an option for either of you, especially after putting in so much effort since last year's competition.

Reluctantly you agreed to get along with Wilbur and the rest of the team when the time came, no matter how much you hated it.

Upon Kristen's return to the office and Phil informing the rest of the boys about the situation in the lockers, you opted to skate to the far end of the rink, away from others, choosing a spot with brighter lighting.

"Well, looks like we're gonna be seeing a lot of each other, darling." Wilbur wandered up to you while you got into position to start your program.

You huffed. Yep, this was your life now. Anticipating Wilbur's continuous comments every day for the next two weeks.

"Don't get too used to it, pretty boy," You sniped. "I only agreed to share for Phil and Kristen's sanity."

He snickered and hummed.

"Whatever you say," he mumbled. "Just don't let my pretty face distract you from your skating," he winked and skated backward.

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks and tried to convince yourself that it was from how aggravated you were over a minute ago.

"I wouldn't let it get to your head," you voiced. "I could still easily beat your ass in staking any day,"

He smirked at you, seemingly challenging you to prove your capabilities. Even though you had nothing to prove, you just wanted the satisfaction of making a fool out of him. However, you know that the time for retaliation was not now. Eventually, you will wipe that arrogant grin off his face.

"I'm looking forward to it, darling," He said before he turned to join his team.

As the rest of his team gathered in a huddle, you watched as they greeted Wilbur in a brotherly way. Tommy had slid up to him enthusiastically, rabbling about whatever was on his mind today. Most likely hockey related.

Wilbur had brought a hand up to the top of Tommy’s head to playfully ruffle his hair before moving over to where Phil was getting the team settled, but not before flicking the blonde on the forehead. A whiney “ouch!” escaped the younger one’s mouth as he followed behind his teammate, causing an amused smile to tug on your lips at their antics.

Taking one final glance at Wilbur wrapping his hands in tape before pushing into the first move. A simple glide and you went into your own world.

Wilbur glimpsed over to your side of the rink and watched as you began your routine. He was absolutely enthralled with watching how flawlessly you moved. Definitely thinking about how beautiful you looked in your attire, even if it was a simple zip-up jacket and yoga pants.

He definitely wasn’t looking. He was.

It wasn’t until one of his teammates pulled him out of his trance with a smack to the back of the head with a glove that he reluctantly pulled his eyes away from you and fell into his own practice as Phil blew the whistle to signal them all to fall into their positions.

The next two weeks were going to be quite interesting, to say the least.

tagging @merakiwi ! since you liked my previous stuff! if you don't want me to tag you in anything in the future let me know!

Me and a friend were going nuts...

cough syrup, chapter xxxii

[ link ]

wc. 16.2k

summary:

"The hurricane continues to spiral. Somewhere, in a ground floor apartment building, seventeen years of sunlight fights to resurface."

-

please check the end notes for updates on where this fic will go. thank you to Holly re-bi-vebur for beta-ing this chapter, and for everything else they've done for me.

after thirteen months, we're finally home.

back in college (wah) so new art is going to be longer coming than I has been. Meanwhile, have this surprisingly good Puffy from a style experiment a year or so ago.

Also, this Puffy is specifically from my fanfic Sanctuary. Which I love, but is old, so enter at your own risk.

(fun fact, her clothes are based off of upper-class northern european clothes from the 1660s. northern European because the AE is cold, 1660s because I liked the vibes, and upper class with the implication that Puffy has both money and distain for the class divide)

(also also fun fact, Puffy is based off a Jacob sheep)

college may be rough but my comms are open!

@thetiredyuk i am having more Thoughts about that one - ranboo is the sone of death beeduo au. I was about to just send you an ask but also this is almost 2k words so it may be better off as a post lmfao

So like. bullet points time, this is an approximate summary of what i think the Plot would be like - wordbuilding aside

(Temporary mcd, suicide warning)

Year like, 1500 something (to be more well researched but i do want it to be like. something something renaissance. it works) we've got two poor ass kids born of the same year. Except tommy is pretty much a normal guy, liked by his family and such. His parents have enough children they can gamble for at least one to be successfull, so they send him to be a painter's apprentice in the hope he'll make some kind of money. There, in the slighter bigger town thats almost a city but not quite, he meets tubbo. Now Tubbo would have been a normal guy, except he was born with facial deformities so now everyone thinks he's a demonic freak hated by the gods (this renaissance world is politheistic bc kristin needs to be there and also i wil not do christianity if i dont have to lmao.)

Tommy is not intimidated by any gods. obviously. also his dad is really into the goddess of death and he prays enough for both of them, so he's like. protected and shite. And he immidiately hits it off with the cursed boy

surprise hes not actually cursed but people are dicks anyways. Tommy makes him a fancy mask to cover his face - even thought its totally cool as shit, but its cool enough only tommy should ever get to see it - and that eventually does help him. Because tubbo wasnt like, a shit guy. Hes a damn good builder and knows how to read, which are talents big enough that the costruction workers for that church out of town are ready to ignore the whole probably cursed thing. As long as he as the masks.

Tommy: makes him the first genuine gift hes ever received in fifteen years of life Tubbo: never takes it off again. like never Tommy: shocked pikachu face

anyways so tommy dies like. super young. They have their fun for a few years but at like seventeen tommy is called to be the artist for this very fancy duke of the town over - and at the start they'r super happy bc that means Money and Food and Roof over your head and shite. its a very good fucking deal.

except the noble is a bastard. His town revolts against him, and when they storm the castle they aren't exactly asking names or faces: tommy gets immidiately like, super destroyed by the crowd, and dies a few minutes later.

Tubbo hears of this like five months later bc its the fifteen hunderds and hes poor.

He does Not take it very well ngl

He goes a bit murdery - basically hes like "im not living without tommy, might as well burn down a village while im at it right, right."

Now ranboo, in all of this, freshly the equivalent of seventeen for an immortal death being, is starting on their training to actually become death- His mom send him on a quaint little village in europe thinking "hey, the most those guys die of is like. malaria. consumption maybe. itll be easy as hell"

And now like two hundred different souls are around him with FIRE written on their foreheads and Ranboo feels distinctly outside of his range, to be really honest.

he steps a couple ethereak planes down just to see what the heck is the matter - if this is another of those voide beings his mom will be Super Pissed and they want to see that reaction

And it isnt the void people

Instead, in front of their eyes, the singular most beautiful person hes ever seen - and hes seen lots, in this line of work.

He cant see their face, but their actions speak enough. The sheer rage, the almost dance like movement of their body perfectly framed by the light of their torch, seeing no humanity or mercy in whatever their searching for. their hair look angelic in its softness, burnt by the worst flames of hell and yet tended by the same hands who wield it - strong hands, clearly forged by hard work and dedication. This is a guy who has nothing to lose, and there's little Death loves most than someone who doesnt fear it.

He has to go down, has to speak to them immidiately.

So he does.

There's really no time - his mom had given the singular rule not to interact with humans, shell be on them in Seconds- but one question can be asked in the haste: "What brings a mortal to do this?"

"It's all for you, love!" the mortal says. They also say some other things, after, but Ranboo is not very well versed in the human tongue and they are speaking Very Loudly.

(Tubbo actually said "Fuck you, you motherfucker it's Your Fault, you took every single thing i love". Easy mistake, if one thinks about it.)

Their mom is Pretty Pissed but she does undesrtand stupid things done for young love. So she's like "eh, ive loved mortals too. go have fun" and everything

Except a year passes, and ranboo still hasnt even spoken to the guy, and she remembers suddenly Mortality Exists.

Shes never had them take a soul who died naturally - for lack of occasion, mostly - and they may have been. a tad sheltered. They most definitely do Not know what death actually is like for humans, nor how long does it take for them to die

she wonders if it would be a tad overprotective to take this over for them

she thinks about seventy years in the future, at most, when the boy dies. She thinks that her son cannot cry but can definitely cry. she thinks of their screams of sadness ringing through her ears-

Tubbo wakes up in the river, alive.

He did not Intend to be alive, and it's actually quite unfortunate for him to be so.The survivors are quite angry and probably close to him, now. Welp, no way to die is reallt any worse than another, he thinks. Ill just wait here for them.

When the pitchfork collapses his heart and he continues breathing, he understands something might be a little bit wrong.

And like, a good five hundred years pass like this.

Things Tubbo has learned in his five hundred, twenty three and two halves years on this demon forsaken earth:

Clothes get so much shittier over time. he has One (1) tailored shit from the 1800 and Nothing has even barely compared to it ever since.

getting stabbed does not hurt less just because youre not actually dying. Poisoning is actiively way worse since you're not actually dying. Diving off cliffs is Not Fun. In general, try not to do dying things even if youre immortal

theres a hole in his heart where his loved ones were and it will never get filled

Food gets esponentially better over time. Lord bless whoever decided curry should go on chicken because they were Cooking For Real. Chocolate was still better before though.

Working for soulles bosses has not changed At All in all of this time tho.

he works at mcdonalds because no college would accept his non existant resume, and being immortal dosent deprive him of his needs unfortunately. The manager took one look at this kid dressed from like three different centuries with a goat mask on his head and was like. why not. at least youre not a stoner and you know how to read.

His coworkers firmly believe hes a criptid and have a full going investigation to prove it. The highest bet at fifty dollars says hes mothman in disguise, there to eat the fliest that live on their shitty food. The lowest bets hes an angel waiting for the right time to brign down armageddon.

Every night he goes in the woods to an almost forgotten Death altar and he prays. Half of his prayers consist of insults and the other half are pleas for her to fucking kill him already

This does not help the criptid chronicles

Kristin also has like. only so much patience. Hes holding up the prayers line - which is actually still pretty fucking used in central asia - and hes generally annoying as shit.

She takes ranboo by the scruff, gives them a passable human form, and throws them down there. Get your shit together boy youre like a thousand years old. Get your man (to stop fucking with the phoneline)

Ranboo is Not Enthusiastic about this but cmon. Hes death. How hard can working at a mac really be?

Spoiler it is

Spoiler it does Not matter, because awkwardness aside ranboo is funny, and easy to talk to, and compassionate and caring. He doesnt want to kill tubbo, he doesnt look at him like hes a fictional creature (and yes marcie, hes seen the bet table), he isnt his soulless boss. Tubbo is grieving but he also very desperstely wants a friend.

One day someone stops at his shitty apartment at like three am

Ranboo stands in fron of his door drenched from head to toe, holding the possibly smallest kitten tubbo has ever seen in his Life. Hes miserable but the cat is miracoulously dry, screaming their head off - and ranboo is panicking. Are they okay are they dying? Do you have any food i dont know what he eats but its so small and i didnt know where else to go- please i dont want it to die or something and-

The moon shines on their long, wet hair and their stupid fucking suit is as wrinkled as ever. They look like they desperately want to rub their hands against each other but there is a kitten in the way and it probably makes them even more anxious - theres very little messes bigger than him, right now.

Tubbo falls in love.

They heal the kitten and keep enderchest in their now shared apartment.

They grow closer, and closer, and something is forming. Ranboo is aware a relationship cannot be based on lies, as much as it worries him how tubbo will react.

so he prepares like a romantic ass evening

roses and candles and a nice dinner with a fancy wine

tubbo almost gets flustered

except at the end of the night the confession isnt "i love you" but "im the guy who took away your only ffamily".

and he sees Red.

Ranboo doesnt remember what tubbo screamed, not exactly. He remembers grief, and crying, and feeling worse than he ever believed he could. He remembers the endless guilt sitting in his chest, and the slam of a door - maybe from the inside out. Hes definitely outside, now, and the house ifìs far away enough eh cant see it, but that could also be the tears.

His mother finds him crouched in a patch of grass, tears steaming down their cheeks in a constant flow. Shes not aware if they'd returned to death form to feel safer, or because they believed they deserved the burn. Shes not sure what option makes her feel worse.

shes aware that this is. pretty much her fault

TO HER DEFENSE she was not really aware humans were so touchy about death. The souls she reaps arent very talkative and the guy shes with is chill about it so like. maybe this one is weird

(the guy she's with is Phil, whos Decidly not a human but has also decided not to tell her yet. For the bit, yknow? He's been a live a couple thousand years, it would be awkward to drop it now. He's also somewhat a serial killer and Not Normal about death At All)

BUt this is still here fault and she does have to set it right a little bit

So she summons Tubbo to her persnoal room in the palace and goes like. "oi. why r u so mad little guy"

And hes like: you took away the single person whos ever loved me ever

"Wait that's the only problem?"

"What the fuck else would it be"

"thought u were mad at him cause he lied lol"

"LYING IS NOT WORSE THAN KILLING A GUY"

Anyways Kristen is so relieved rn. She thought tubbo was phisically like, repulsed by the concept of death and all, and he was mad that Ranboo lied to him and all. Which he is, but the rage is so so much less than the grief yknoe. And she knows how to fix it if its just one (1) measly soul

Tommy is so fucking confused

Th modern world is full of sounds and weird textures and the food is fucking fantastic but also Too Much, and Tubbo introduced him to this weird ass potion hed called a bong and now hes seeing gods the likes of which had never been discoveres

Over all hes just happy to be alive and with his best friend

He kinda hates ranboo. The fucker threw a scyte at him for no reason when tommy would have Almost Certainly survived because he is simply That Cool. Ranboo didn't believe in his awesomeness enough and is thus a Bitch

Tubbo is. iffy

He cant deny he has a teensy tiny crush now, because hes far too deep in this for that

But also ranboo did like. lie straight to his face

but also tubbo would Not have believed him if a random guy showed up at three am at a mcdonalds saying they were the child of death

and he Did trust that what he saw in ranboo was real, betrayal aside. No one fakes looking That much like a wet cat

so it does take a while. couple years in fact, to get back at the level of trust they had before (inster a cool anime montage where they have lots of fun together as roommates and cats coparents and all)

One night when they are - not back together, because they hadnt been dating before, but back to that almost definitely dating just not officialized stage- ranboo asks him if would ever want to be mortal again.

And tubbo thinks of it. His time on earth had been so plagued by grief hed never really ecperienced anything it had to offer. Hed never seen the sights or did anything at all besides praying for death, and thats kind of a shitty way to pass five hundred years

'But tubbo what about your humanity? wouldnt it be irrevocabily lost by giving awau something so fundamentally human as death" someone would ask. And tubbo would anser "ehh who cares"

He hasnt been fully human since hes burned that whole village down, anyway. And he likes the benefits of this life more than whateer moral superiority a Normal human would have over him

just-

"and tommy too, obviously. I get the feeling you dont like him dead" Ranboo jokes.

There's no decision at all then. Fuck yeah, immortal boyfriend and immortal brother what more could a fucker want.

They get to cause chaos on earth and probably kill a bunch of rich people for a long long time

the end :)

Im like. very tentatively calling this Deathless Death, in the vane hope that i will write something for this better thant bullet points. But for now bullet points it is

Hello all,

Sending love and good vibes to you all. I don’t have a Twitter (or X account) anymore, so I am not hopeful that this will reach the people that it is intended for.

I just wanted to alert you all that I have removed all of my previous writing from Archive Of Our Own in light of the sexual abuse allegations against some of the people involved. I had these fics on an archive (lpseudonymarchive) for the past couple years, because, while I did not agree (and was frankly disgusted) with the actions of the people I had written about, it broke my heart to think about completely removing works that people had told me saved their lives. Because the majority of these fics were commissioned, I felt guilty about deleting works that people paid for… which takes me to the point of this post:

If you are a person who paid for something I had written a couple years ago, and had not received an additional PDF (as most people did) please reach out to me so I can get what you paid for to you.

I love you all. I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been working on some writing to post, but I’m not sure if it’s good. You’ll all have to be the judge.

Thank you all for being good to me. Please spread this around if you are still involved with the community and know someone who has purchased something from me.

XOXO and love and hope,

Pseuds

(ladypseudonym)

EDIT:

The people referenced are Wilbur Soot and GeorgeNotFound. As some of my followers remember, I exited the community years ago because of the racism and Islamophobia prevalent in both the creators themselves and the community. However, I feel it is inappropriate to not say anything further if I am deleting things people paid for, and not directly name sexual abusers.

fuck it i'm promoting my fics

an origins smp hybrid/lab au where tommy is saved from a laboratory by the sbi, who quickly realize he has a massive case of stockholm syndrome and will need a lot of help to unlearn all the brainwashing and abuse he was put through. ongoing, currently at 14 chapters and 55k words

a royalty/fantasy au where prince fundy and his friends tommy and tubbo go on a roadtrip to save ranboo, who has been kidnapped by a shady prince and his even shadier bodyguard (skeppy and bad). ongoing, currently at 5 chapters and 28.3k words

a post-canon dsmp fic where wilbur meets fundy again a decade after he witnessed him taking his second canon life. my attempt of giving them an ending that's at least a bit more hopeful than canon. oneshot, 6.3k words

and something a bit more experimental: a las nevadas-era dsmp fic where wilbur comes to meet his son after his resurrection, with two versions of the same fic: fundy's pov and wilbur's pov

i also have a couple of multichapters that are both currently at 1 chapter and at an indefinite hiatus: a crimeboys mer au and a crimeboys pirate/royalty au both of which i'm planning to continue once i have the time and energy

cut open my heart, a c!Quackity poem about being loveless aro

Written for @mcyt-aro-week: day 2 (loveless)

You Can't Take the Sky From Me

Fandom: Dream SMP Category: Gen Rating: Teen and Up (language and violence) Chapters: 36 Status: Incomplete Relationships: Crimeboys; L'Manberg ensemble Additional Info: Firefly AU

Summary:

Wilbur and Tommy are on the run from both the law and their own past. Unfortunately for both themselves and the crew of L'Manberg, both begin to catch up with them at the same time.

Read on Ao3

It's finally time to introduce my favourite new character EHEHEHE WOOO CK TIMEEE we're almost done :]

–

Covered Kindling is a sequel to Broken Rhythms, and is a Tommy-centric fic with 74k words so far and 7/8 chapters. It follows Tommy as he adapts to life and deals with his trauma after his kidnapping.

Summary:

Phil had a guitar; Tommy had noticed it on his second week in the house. It didn’t look like anything special, just kind of a guitar, but Phil never touched it. After a while of eyeing the thing, it started to make sense. It was older and definitely something that could snap like a twig if someone beat against it for more than a second. A delicate object he obviously kept away so no one would touch, and it simply rested in a stand in the corner of Phil and Kristin’s bedroom. Really, it was like he was asking for it to get stolen.

Or

A Broken Rhythms sequel where, after finally escaping a fourteen year kidnapping, Tommy is home. Learning to be happy is harder than he expected.

Taglist! DM, reply, or send an ask to be added or removed! Reblogs are super appreciated :]

@cupcraft @crimeboys @embers-archive @marvelously-queer @phantoids @snaxle

Found this in the WIP folder and thought I’d finish this. It’s a cover art for my tnt duo merfic. But since it’s been like a year since I wrote it, it’s come back around and is now qsmp applicable, cos their gay love infects every damn server they’re in

This is my first time asking but can you do a fic (CC or C) where the SBI views Reader (He/They if you can) as an older sibling (or is their older sibling if it's C!SBI) and Wilbur and Techno fight on who's Reader's favorite.

Cue Philza (C R O W F A T H E R) breaking up the fight and being like "This is the nth fight you've guys had this week, and it's only tuesday)." After finding out what the recent fight was about, Philza, trying not to laugh, tells the two to follow him to go see Reader and Tommy doing something fluffy. From there on, Wil's and Tech's minds are like "so we have competition."

Bonus: Tommy is aware that he is Reader's favorite and gloats about it to Wil and Tech when reader is away.

Sorry if it's too long but I always love Sibling SBI dynamics

I really liked this idea, sibling SBI will always have a soft spot in my already super soft heart, but anyways I have no idea how well written this is but it was really cute and I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy! :] /pos

Summary: Wilbur and Techno both believe they are your favorite younger brother, Phil and Tommy say otherwise

Pairing: P!SBI X Reader

Pronouns: He/They

[A/n]: Requests are still closed sadly, I am trying to clear out what is currently there and start with a clean state!

“I’m clearly the favorite.” Techno scoffed at Wilbur’s statement.

“If you were the favorite then why does (Y/n) spend so much time training with me? It’s almost like he enjoys my company more than yours.” Techno’s reply did nothing more than add fuel to the fire, sparking yet another argument between the two boys.

“What are you two going on about now? Don’t you have chores to be doing?” Philza’s questions were rhetorical but he was hoping it would be enough to silence the two boys. The week had barely begun and they had been caught several times getting into verbal arguments over, what seemed to be, the same topic.

“Dad, tell Techno that I’m (Y/n)’s favorite!”

“No way! They clearly like me better!” Philza was quick to break things up before the two started to argue again.

“Oh dear, what am I going to do with you two.” It was then that Phil had remembered something, motioning for his two middle sons to follow him. Earlier he had tasked Tommy with cleaning his room, which had become a mess over the weekend, and you had offered to help the young boy who whined at his father’s request. It wasn’t difficult for Phil to see how you doted on the young boy, your youngest brother, always helping him with simple tasks and spending a majority of your time around him. Despite his troublesome nature, the small blonde had grown to be your favorite of the three, and he was certainly vocal about it.

It wasn’t hard to recall numerous times when you had left with Techno or Wilbur, or even when Tommy had left with Phil to run simple errands, that the boy boasted about how he was your favorite. Of course, his siblings took this with a grain of salt, clearly, their obnoxious younger brother was playing a trick on them. Though now they weren’t entirely sure.

There in Tommy's freshly cleaned room sat the two of you, it was almost difficult to make out but you were showing off some of your beloved trinkets to the young boy, allowing him to handle and try on whichever ones he desired.

“What! He’s never let me touch any of his treasures before!” Techno whisper shouted, hardly able to contain his disbelief.

“Touch? They’ve never even told me about half those things before!!” Wilbur spoke in the same, disbelieving, hushed tone. It only took a moment for the two boys to lock eyes, challenging each other for a moment before settling on a new target. Neither of them could be your favorite if Tommy held that title, after all, how could you ever pick them over your precious little Tommy.

“We gotta eliminate Tommy.”

“I agree.”

“Don’t bother your younger brother. You both know (Y/n) cares about you a lot, Tommy is the youngest, of course, he’s going to spoil him a little more.” Phil shooed his middle sons away from the bedroom, leaving you and Tommy to continue in what you had been doing from the start.

“Now I don’t want to hear any more arguing from either of you. If I hear any more arguments over this topic any time in the next month and you’ll have double the chores. Understood?”

“Yes sir!” “Understood!” The two responded in unison, neither wanting double chores no matter how deeply they felt about the topic.

Taglist: (if you’d like to be tagged on specific posts just let me know!)