'recovering' or 'healing' by starting to hate your former self + shame or mock others for being the way you used to be isn't actually very healing. you can acknowledge + be grateful that you have changed without transferring all your self hatred/shame onto others.
unbelievably obsessed with how the juniors realize ‘mo xuanyu’ who is meant to be a bumbling idiot and embarrassment to his family is incredibly powerful, brilliant, and clearly very close with lwj, and they barely question it they’re just like yeah sure that checks out, moving on!
i love sociopaths i love narcissists i love low/no empathy havers i love people so mentally scarred it makes them generally mean people who push everyone away i love chronically angry people i love people with horrible intrusive thoughts (yes even yours) i love people who want horrible things to happen to the people who hurt them i love people with pervasive feelings of hate i love people who are uncontrollably agitated and irritable i see you i care about you i want you to get better i think you deserve as many chances as it takes for you to pull through i mean it i really really mean it
Reminder that, especially if you're pretty sensitive, when you are surrounded by many people, noises, smells, strong or flashing lights, you're tired or haven't slept well, it may become easier for you to get overwhelmed, anxious and experience burnouts.
Be gentle with yourself and try to find time to recover in your safe place, maybe practice a little bit of meditation and take a nap.
Do whatever that makes you tranquil and feel comforted like staying in a more isolated place for a little, touching soft fabrics, holding plushies, closing your eyes to rest them, smelling comfortable smells, breathing slowly. Take your time.
💚💜 How to help a person at risk of suicide?
[And some things here also apply to moments when we are faced with someone experiencing mental or emotional exhaustion, or after they have gone through a great deal of wear and tear, as well as situations where people come to confide in us.]
!!! This text is not mine. Unlike the other texts you see here on the blog. Source: CVV (Centro de Valorização da Vida).
Bringing this up firstly because it's something everyone should be aware of, to educate themselves emotionally and mentally, and secondly because it's something I also enjoy discussing, due to my interest in Psychology, the human mind, and related topics.
WHAT NOT TO DO ❌
When people say "I'm tired of life" or "there's no reason for me to live anymore," they are often rejected, or they are forced to listen to stories about other people who have been in worse situations. None of these actions help the person at risk of suicide.
WHAT TO DO ✅
The initial contact is very important. Often, it occurs where it can be difficult to have a private conversation.
The first step is to find a suitable place where a quiet conversation can be held with reasonable privacy.
The next step is to reserve the necessary time. People with suicidal ideation usually need more time to stop feeling like a burden. It is also necessary to be emotionally available to give them attention.
The most important task is to listen to them effectively.
Achieving this contact and listening is in itself the biggest step in reducing the level of suicidal despair. The goal is to fill a gap created by distrust, despair, and loss of hope and give the person hope that things can change for the better.
A calm, open, accepting, and non-judgmental approach is essential to facilitate communication. Listen politely. Treat with respect. Empathize with emotions. Be careful with confidentiality. What the other person tells you should not be a topic for conversation with other people.
How to communicate?
Listen attentively, calmly.
Understand the person's feelings (empathy).
Give non-verbal messages of acceptance and respect (body language demonstrating openness, respect).
Express respect for the person's opinions and values.
Talk honestly and authentically.
Show your concern, care, and affection.
Focus on the person's feelings.
How not to communicate?
Interrupt too often.
Be shocked or too emotional.
Say that you are busy.
Make the problem seem trivial.
Treat the patient in a way that may put them in an inferior position.
Simply say that everything will be fine.
Ask intrusive questions.
Issue judgments (right vs. wrong), try to preach.
There is something that fellow shippers and haters miss. And maybe it's my background or because I'm old as fuck - details. Also: bear in mind that I'm still on 39 but love spoilers.
The entire 8 mins highlights empathy. Everyone before came with judgement and their own baggage and agenda. Not saying that what they were saying was wrong. Laudna however approaches it with understanding and no judgement whatsoever. (Not particularly certain that Imogen wanted to discuss the god eating god at that point but that's a discussion for another day). She acknowledges it's attractiveness, and basically does a thought experiment.
They dance around the subject of her potential death and potential consequences.
Laudna continues empathising and goes to the root of it. How Imogen basically wants a quiet life and how that's very much on the table.
She expands on choice. How it is in her hands.
Then conversation lulls. It could have ended here.
Instead Laudna, takes a different direction to one of vulnerability and openness and instead circles back to how they haven't talked much.
Laudna says: You'll always have me. I'll always be there to support you. No matter what you choose. And you don't have to make those choices alone.
Imogen breaks.
Those are words of unconditional love. Unconditional love is so rare and precious. Everyone around her wants something out of her. Laudna just tells her that she is not alone and that she is there, to share the burden.
Imogen has never experienced that. Not even from her parents. How much does she crave it? How much in particular did she want to hear that from Laudna?
And the better halves part. Was it done for shits and giggles? Yes. I also think there's more to it. Eight now Imogen is a bit all over the place. I think it's Laudna saying that right now she's willing to step up for Imogen and be her better half in terms of clarity and objectiveness, and the things they discussed.
Love needs boundaries and conversations. But not all need loud confrontations with ultimatums. Some need the other to take their hand, and say that they'll get through it together.
I recently saw someone explaining that instead of viewing frustrating behavior as “attention seeking behavior” we should view it as “connection seeking behavior” and honestly it’s changed the way I’ve seen other people and the things they do.