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#BATMAN
malenjoyer · 18 hours
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Taking my son out for enrichment
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randoparody · 19 hours
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Batman: Why didn’t you tell me?
Batkid: You didn’t ask.
This is a regularly repeating conversation that covers anything and everything. Lost an organ? Well, you didn’t ask. Secretly eloped? Never came up. Adopted a child? Well, I’m telling you now. Spent four months in an alternate dimension and came back ten minutes after you left? Huh, could have sworn I mentioned that, but to be fair it’s not like you asked.
And every. Single. Time. Batman is just like… No? It’s not? Why would I have thought to ask that?
Barbara tells Bruce it’s karma for never telling the Justice League anything. Bruce is not amused. Barbara proceeds to invite him to her wedding.
Bruce: I didn’t know you were dating anyone?
Barbara:
Barbara: Well, it’s not like you asked.
Bruce: *eye spasms*
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oneswordstyle · 16 hours
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yrkhn · 17 hours
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Can you do talia holding damian pretty please? Your art is amazing!!!
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her beloved son <3
another messy sketch cause it's the only thing i can draw rn
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duckytree · 16 hours
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turns out the worst way to handle trauma and grief is to put two traumatized grieving kids in a room and telling them to talk it out
‘big brother episode 17 part 2
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the-b1ah · 17 hours
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Part 4 of You can’t bench me!
God I wish I could punch people instead of studying for exams. So close to the end yet so far ;-; . If you see spelling errors no you didn’t
Context:
Phantom has officially given up on his homework and joined the flock in fighting crime. How are you going to dad your way through this situation Red Hood? The rest of the batfamily is pulling out the popcorn for the inevitable meltdown and fight.
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Red Robin: spinnn 🪩✨ ✨ bonk!!
Phantom: I have a gun and imma to make it everyone’s problem !!!!
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Phantom: No. >:(
Red hood: …
RR&spoiler: OoOOOOooo someone’s in trouuuuubleeeeee!!!
Robin: what an idiot
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Origin | part 3 | part 5
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deadsetobsessions · 13 hours
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Danny always knew tax evasion ran in his veins. His parents hadn’t been the most… morally sound of people, and less so as ecto-scientists.
He just didn’t think their lessons would ever result in a criminal empire that spanned the entire city and then some. Danny hadn’t seen it coming. His parents definitely wouldn’t have.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Wayne. Mr. Fox.”
Danny ‘the Phantom’ Fenton sat down across from a rather tense looking (to Danny’s enhanced senses, anyways) Brucie Wayne and his right hand, Lucius Fox. He smiled pleasantly, matching Brucie’s vacant smile with that touch of Midwest suburban mother smile.
With his acquisition of multiple Gotham companies, his rather newly established Fentom Co. became one of the largest holding companies in Gotham, the first being Wayne Enterprises and the second being Drake Industries. After months of constantly working his butt off while fending off assassins, reforming Gotham’s slums and cleaning up some of the streets, and taking care of his nest of street kids, Danny garnered enough power to even stand close to Wayne Enterprises in terms of financial powers.
The topic of this meeting was, of course, the proposed merger of Wayne Enterprises’ Medical R&D division with Fentom Co.’s pharmaceutical department. Usually, Wayne Enterprises wouldn’t even consider such an offer, as their Medical R&D division was the most well funded and least likely to be part of a Rogue’s scheme- and therefore most beloved- department of the same nature in Gotham. However, Danny had something the other offers didn’t.
Blackmail.
His overly polite smile widened as Bruce’s mask twitched. His eyes slid over to Lucius Fox.
“It’s an honor to meet you, sir. I’ve heard much about your genius in… research and development.”
By that, Danny meant that he knew Lucius Fox helped develop Batman’s tech.
He did a lot of stalking that week. It felt rather… invasive, even if he did get a bunch of juicy secrets.
You know what they say: dead men tell no tales… but halfas are generally blabbermouths.
“Is that so? It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Fenton.” The man quickly glanced between the youngsters, accurately predicting that this might have something to do with Bruce’s active nightlife.
“Yes, it is such a pleasure to meet you.”
Wow, Danny didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone sound both so perky and dead inside at the same time, except for Susan at Gotham High’s bake sale.
Bruce wishes he could be a Susan. He’s at best a Becky.
“Will you be staying, Mr. Fox? You’re the head of the R&D department, correct?”
“Ah, yes-”
“Oh, Lucius! I think you had an appointment with the finance department right now! I heard Sally talk about it, you know!”
Lucius Fox sent an unreadable look at Bruce before rallying.
“Oh, it must have slipped my mind. My apologies, Mr. Fenton, it seems as though I can not skip this appointment.”
“That’s alright. I suppose it gives you… plausible deniability… should things go wrong, haha!” Danny allowed his smile to widen a little further than natural. Bruce tensed but Lucius Fox simply politely smiled and left the room.
Ignorance is bliss and all that, Danny amusedly thought.
As the door shut with a click, Bruce dropped the vacant Brucie smile and sighed.
“What do you want,” he gritted out. Danny wasn’t about to let that slide, not after he spent the better part of this month wrangling Bruce’s problem children.
“Ah, it must be because I’m from the Midwest, Brucie, but where I come from, we value these things called manners.”
You uneducated jerk, he doesn’t say.
Danny leaned back in his chair, loosening his smile into something relaxed and sharp.
“…” Oh, boy, Danny could just hear the other man’s blood pressure rising. “What is the purpose of your visit, Mr. Fenton?”
“Relax, Brucie,” Danny sing-songed in a non-relaxing way. “I’m just here to discuss a possible merger that I’m sure you’ll agree to, and give you a couple of updates on your… wayward bird.”
He heard Bruce take a slow, controlled breath. “Very well. Where. Would. You. Like. To. Start.”
Danny ignored the gritted out sentence. He passed a contract to Bruce, who took it like he was handling a live bomb.
“Here’s the proposal, Mr. Wayne. Please, look it over.”
He watched as Bruce looked over the contract with an eagle eye before lowering it, scrutinizing Danny.
“This is… very fair.”
Danny raised an eyebrow. Of course it was fair. Danny wasn’t interested in exploiting the Waynes, despite them being very able to afford it.
He’d brought fifty manufacturing sites for pharmaceuticals, and offered up a building where both companies could send their workers. He provided top notch security- that definitely didn’t have any talons on staff, what were they talking about?- that came from his own security division. Granted, most of them were reformed and trained goons, but hey, creating jobs can only help Gotham’s economy and help break the cycle of poverty, right? Guaranteed by the Wayne name and, most importantly, uncompromised medicine that was accessible to everyone would be a damn good start. He’d also have Penguin’s empire to distribute it to those who couldn’t make it to a clinic or a store, and there were plans in there to work with and establish contracts with Gotham’s welfare department. Well… once Danny finished replacing them with people who wouldn’t try to take a cut of the funds and actually cared about the people. He was thinking… the multitudes of poor grad students and parents that need income. He’s in the process of building childcare centers and…
It’s a good thing he managed to save money from the taxes (thank you, Gotham’s morally ambiguous tax experts that were in desperate need for clients! He could do it himself but having a team of accountants at the ready was seriously so helpful.) because ancients knows the government weren’t about to step into Gotham and help the people here. He needs so much money to pull all of this shit off and a lot of it has to be clean.
Danny inwardly sighed and marked another thing onto his to do list.
Make money laundering fronts.
“Of course, Mr. Wayne. You didn’t think I’d come in here demanding money, did you?”
“I considered it.”
“I am, in fact, trying to help Gotham. You might not agree with my methods, but I’d rather not damage Wayne Enterprises when it’s doing so much to help the people.”
Ugh, he was doing too much work. Danny just wanted to- hah- chill at home and read bed time stories to his kids.
Bruce Wayne, the specific blend between Brucie and Batman, regarded him silently. Danny felt like he went up a few notches in the respect ladder.
Nice.
“You’re a criminal.”
“Says the man in the bat-suit breaking into places and assaulting people.”
Bruce’s hands spasmed around the contract. Danny smiled at him, taking a sip of the coffee they’d prepared. Oo, nice!
“Ah, I heard you’re adopting- pardon, fostering- Tim Drake. Getting empty nest syndrome, Brucie?” He slipped back into using Bruce’s first name. The proposal was formal. This… was very much not.
“What about it?”
“That’s very kind of you. Speaking of which, well, of your birds, I was wondering if you remembered what I asked you to do.” Danny continued, not giving Bruce a chance to reply. “Didn’t I ask for you to keep your birds in line, Brucie?”
The CEO straightened even further, form filling out to be Batman’s imposing figure. “I did.”
“No, you didn’t. Do you know where your charge is, right now? No, not the formerly dead one,” Danny tilted his head, smile shrinking.
“Don’t you dare do anything to Tim. I swear, if you even lay a hand on a strand of his hair, I’ll-”
“Sit your Armani clad ass down, Bruce.” Danny snapped. “Your son’s in your office. I don’t harm children, and your assumptions are deeply insulting. Threaten me again, Bruce, and I’ll make sure you know exactly how much I know about your birds, your cousin, and the commissioner’s daughter.”
Bruce snarled but leashed his anger just enough to sit back down. He itched to go check on Tim, but leaving a threat like Phantom unwatched felt inherently wrong.
“Your other son,” Danny continued. “Is doing quite well. He’s learning that he has hobbies again. He’s actually working under me, you know.”
“He’s what.”
Oh, yeah, that tracks. It figured that Jason wouldn’t tell Bruce about anything. He’s still conflicted about his death. Danny got it.
“Ah, that’s precious information. You’ll have to offer something of equal value if you want to know. There is, on the other hand, a piece of information I’ll give you for free.”
Danny paused for the dramatic effect. It was lost on Bruce, the ultimate drama queen of this world.
“The League of Assassins are hanging around Hotham lately. It’s getting tedious, getting rid of them. I suggest talking to your old flame, you know, with words and what little communication skill you’ve got rattling around in your noggin to get them to pull back. Her interest is… unnaturally focused on Jason.”
Danny read the dark agreement swimming about Bruce’s face and inclined his head. “Should negotiations fail, rest assured that Jason will be protected.”
“…Thank you.”
“You are most welcome. Go ahead and discuss the contract with Mr. Fox, I am sure you’ll find little problems with it. Ah,” Danny stood up, fixing his suit jacket. “And you should probably check up on Timothy. He’s probably having a great time in your office, Mr. Wayne.”
“I’ll see you out.”
“Of course.”
Having Batman escorting him out should probably be more intimidating.
Danny stood in the elevator, waiting for Bruce’s contemplative silence to put itself into words.
Sure enough, “What… what kind of hobbies does Jason have now?”
“I’d tell you to ask him, but you two aren’t on speaking terms, are you? He likes books, of course, but recently, he’s found an interest in glass blowing. He made quite a bit of progress on his attempts at sun catchers.”
“I see.”
Well, Danny’s not about to step on that landmine any more than he has to.
——
“Danny.”
“Oh, hey, Jason. Sit down, we were about to have dinner.”
Jason clambered into the window. Danny sighed. He had a door, but by the way Jason never used it, it was like the door didn’t exist.
“Mind telling me why the old bastard showed up on my rooftops with a bunch of glass and glassblowing tools?”
Danny smiled. “No idea.”
“Uh huh.”
Danny placed a hand on his chest and put on his best woe-is-me expression. The teen’s face twitched in annoyance. “Doubt? At me? Why, I never!”
A bread roll thwacked him in the face.
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dragonpyre · 11 hours
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What I love about Jason Todd is that he's angry about his trauma. Life fucked him over and he's rightfully pissed off. We already have "healed from their anger" Dick Grayson and "ignores their emotions" Bruce Wayne. Thank you DC for giving us "hurt and upset and lashing out" Jason Todd.
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incorrectbatfam · 24 hours
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Damian: They were annoying, it almost triggered my fight or fight response.
Tim: You mean fight or flight?
Damian: No, I mean fight or fight. I’m not a damn bird, Drake.
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abisalli · 22 hours
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A little Jaybird appears! Happy belated death day!
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ky-landfill · 12 hours
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spicy-apple-pie · 13 hours
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Damian Wayne would love Oruan Highschool Host Club. Like it’s his guilty pleasure.
He has the whole manga collection hidden in his closet. I headcanon that he has really bad back problems (getting your spine replaced will do that to you) so on bad days he’ll lay on a heating pad and binge watch the whole show. He’s a huge Tamaki x Haruhi shipper. He low key hopes that they will someday get a season 2.
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purest-chaos · 20 hours
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I love seeing Damian acting like a kid. We are talking about a boy who was raised as a killing machine so seeing him enjoying his childhood and finding out what brings him happiness is so heartwarming to me. Him taking care of his animals, working on his art, getting annoyed at his older siblings, making friends with kids his age like the teen titans and Jon. This is what he deserves and needs.
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I just want to give him milk and cookies.
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yrkhn · 17 minutes
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mm how abt cass beating jason in a fight?
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I really enjoyed this request! I would have liked to draw a small storyboard for this idea, but I only had enough energy for this sketch.
god i love them both
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incorrectbatfam · 17 hours
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how would his goons would react if Red Hood randomly de-aged and kept asking for “dad” (Batman)?”
Goon #1: I guess we're dad now.
Goon #2: We?
Goon #1: Yes, we. I'm taking you down with me.
Baby Jason: I'm hungry.
Goon #1: You got any food?
Goon #2: Just an energy bar.
Goon #1: That works. Feed him while I figure a way outta here.
Goon #2:
Jason:
Goon #2: *shoves the energy bar in Jason's mouth like a pacifier*
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