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sergeantbarnessdoll · 2 days

Note

Hey I just got my wisdom teeth removed so I’m wondering if you can write a fic where Chris Evans’s and Sebastian Stan’s characters takes care of reader after they got their wisdom teeth removed please 😊

Wisdom Teeth » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier and Steve Rogers/Captain America

Pairings: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Best Friend!Female Reader x Best Friend!Steve Rogers

Summary: Bucky and Steve take care of you after you get your wisdom teeth removed.

Warnings: Fluff, language, brief mention of blood, dentist, hugs and kisses, cuddling, use of pet names

A/N: Thank you for requesting @fangirltrash15 🩵

A/N #2: My friend @buckys-wintersoldier wrote something similar with Chris Evans so just know I’m not copying her in any way.

Written on my phone. I’m sorry for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIFS ARE NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found these one Pinterest.

“Please don’t make me wake up early.” You whined, pulling the blanket over your head to block out the light.

“I know you don’t want to wake up this early, but you have to go to get your wisdom teeth removed.” Steve says softly, pulling the blankets off of you.

You groaned and sat up against the headboard, crossing your arms over your chest with a pout on your face. Bucky and Steve couldn’t help but smile at your cuteness.

“Would it make you feel better if I let you wear one of my henleys?” Bucky asks softly.

“I want the red one.” You say.

“You can wear that one.” He says.

You smiled and kissed his bearded cheek and kissed Steve’s bearded cheek before they left your bedroom to give you privacy to get dressed. When you were done getting dressed, you walked out to the living room where Steve and Bucky were.

“Ready to go?” Steve asks.

“Do I have a choice?” You say.

When you got to the dentist office, the three of you sat in the quiet waiting room. Steve hand his arm around your shoulders while you played with Bucky’s vibranium fingers to help calm your nerves.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” The hygienist says.

You looked at Steve and Bucky before standing up.

“You’ll be fine.” Steve says softly, kissing your forehead.

“We’ll be out here when you’re done.” Bucky says, kissing the top of your head.

You nervously followed the hygienist to the exam room and sat down in the chair.

“How are you feeling this morning?” She asks.

“Scared and nervous.” You say, playing with the sleeve of your- Bucky’s- henley.

“That’s completely normal. You’ll be done before you know it.” She says with a smile.

You watched as the hygienist gave you some anesthesia. Your eyes felt droopy and soon you fell to sleep and they started the procedure. Afterwards, you were groggy and tried to process what just happened.

“Morning.” Steve and Bucky say in unison.

You looked at them and gave them a smile.

“Hey! I know you guys!” You pointed at them. “You’re Stevie!” You pointed at Steve. “And you’re Jamie!” You pointed at Bucky.

Steve and Bucky couldn’t help but smile at your anesthesia induced state.

“She’s good to go home. The anesthesia should wear off in about an hour and this medication will help with the pain afterwards.” The hygienist tells Steve and Bucky.

“Yay!” You shouted. “Let’s go home!” You say loudly.

You stood up from the chair too fast and lost your balance. Steve was quick to catch you.

“You’re tall.” You stared up at him. “So are you.” You say, looking at Bucky.

Steve and Bucky walked you out of the dentist office and helped you get in the car and the three of you went home.

“Dog!” You looked out the car window. “I want to take it.” You say, still looking at the dog on the sidewalk.

“You can’t just steal someone’s dog, doll.” Bucky says.

“Why not?” You pouted.

“Cause he or she has owners.” Steve says.

You made a grumbling sound and slouched in your seat with your arms crossed over your chest and a pout on your face. When you guys got home, Steve and Bucky helped you get comfortable in your room.

“What’s this red stuff?” You asked, staring at the blood on the back of your hand that you just wiped off of your chin.

“That’s blood, sweetheart.” Steve says.

Steve grabbed a tissue and wiped the blood off the back of your hand and off your chin. Bucky took the bloody gauze out of your mouth and put fresh gauze in your mouth.

“Did my tongue just fall out of my mouth?” You asked while staring at the bloody gauze, tears brimming your eyes.

“No, doll. Your tongue is still in your mouth.” Bucky says, reassuringly.

Alpine walked in your bedroom and jumped on the bed, head butting your arm to tell you that she wants pets.

“What’s she doing?” You asked.

“Alpine just wants some pets.” Steve says.

You gave Alpine gently pets, earning purrs from her. You laid down and continued to pet her.

“Get some rest. We’ll check on you in a little bit.” Steve says.

“Keep our girl company, Alpine.” Bucky says.

Soon you fell asleep. You woke up to the feeling of pain in your mouth. You whimpered as you held your cheek. You walked out of your bedroom to the living room where Steve and Bucky were. You sat on Bucky’s lap, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Steve says.

“How’re you feeling?” Bucky asks softly.

“Hell.” Is all you said.

That told Steve and Bucky that the anesthesia wore off and your mouth is hurting. Steve got up and got the pain medication and some water.

“This will help with the pain.” Steve says, handing you the medicine and water.

You took the pain medicine and patiently waited for it to kick in. Steve left the living room again and came back with an ice pack wrapped in a towel.

“Here you go.” He says.

You took the ice pack from him and put it against your cheek, sighing when the coldness of it soothed the pain of your mouth. Bucky’s right hand rubbed your back to help take your mind off the pain.

“I’m hungry.” You say.

“What would you like?” Bucky asks.

“Donuts and cookies.” You say, wanting your favorite comfort foods.

“I don’t think you can eat those right now, but we have ice cream. You want that?” Steve says.

“Yes please.” You say.

Steve got up and went to the kitchen to get you ice cream while you maneuvered yourself to the spot next to Bucky and grabbed the remote off the coffee table. You flipped through the channels for cartoons. You settled on SpongeBob.

“Here you go, sweetheart.” Steve says, handing you a bowl of ice cream.

You took the bowl from his hand, not taking your eyes off the TV.

“What’re we watching?” He asks, sitting down next to you.

“SpongeBob.” You tell him.

You watched SpongeBob while eating ice cream. The coldness of the ice cream soothed your mouth. You put the empty bowl on the coffee table and maneuvered yourself again so your head was on Bucky’s lap and your legs were on Steve’s lap. You fell asleep after watching three episodes of SpongeBob due to the side effects of the pain medicine. You stirred in your sleep when you felt Steve laying you down on your bed. Your eyes fluttered open to see Steve and Bucky walking out of your room.

“Wait…” You called out to them. “Please stay with me.” You say quietly.

Steve and Bucky smiled and laid down on either side of you. You laid your head on Steve’s chest while Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist. Alpine jumped up on your bed, joining the cuddle party. She walked up the bed and laid down on your pillow next to your head.

“I love you guys.” You mumbled sleepily.

“We love you too.” Steve and Bucky say in unison, kissing the sides of your head.

🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

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fandomnerd9602 · 1 day

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Y/n sits across from Natasha at the party…

Y/N: what’s a nice gal like you doing in a place like this?

Natasha: someone did me wrong

Y/N: I’ll beat them up. How did they wrong you?

Natasha: their lips weren’t on mine the moment they walked in

Y/N: allow me to fix that

Y/N pulls Natasha into a loving kiss…

Natasha: mmm perfect

#marvel #marvel imagine #marvel fluff #mcu #mcu imagine #mcu fandom #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #natasha romanoff #black widow #scarlett johansson #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #the avengers #avengers #natasha romanoff fluff #black widow fluff

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fotibrit · 1 day

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Thank you @charming-mug for this screenshot from the video game "Marvel's Midnight Suns".

I'm losing my mind. This quote, from an official source, has made my week. Because thats exactly it! Thats the point! It's not that Tony looks as Peter and wants to adopt him because hes just so cute or anything. Tony looks at Peter and sees himself!

He sees himself in miniature. He sees a kid with all the potential that Tony wasted, all the potential that Tony mourned throwing away. Tony wants to make sure that Peter gets all the parts of Tony that Tony is proud of, and that Peter avoids the parts that still haunt Tony.

Tony gives Peter tech. He gives him access to the lab, new suits, and academic validation. He tries to make sure that Peter gets the chance to grow up as surrounded by tech as Tony did.

But! Tony is there! He actually helps, he makes sure Peter knows that the tech is a gift, and its there because Tony thinks Peter is worthy of it. And Tony is somewhat strict (ferry scene, yelling in infinity war, ect.) because I'm sure a part of him wishes that Howard had stopped Tony from partying and throwing his life away.

Irondad works so well, in my opinion, because its not that Tony thinks that he would be a good dad and so he finds some kid to take in. Its good because Tony finds a piece of himself in the way Peter behaves, and he starts feeling responsible for it. He is PUSHED into parenthood by his sense of responsibility and guilt over his past.

Tony looks at peter and sees who he could have been. He wants to make sure that Peter ends up better than him. Tony wants to right the wrongs done to him, to make sure Peter doesn’t experience the hurt that followed Tony into adulthood.

(And then Peter lost a mother-figure and a father-figure, and both were killed in a way that Peter doesn’t feel right to blame the murderer for their deaths. And Peter got put into the public eye, every movement criticized. And the Peter was so famous that his "bad publicity" held him back from his dream school.

Tony wanted Peter never to experience the things that hurt Tony. But Toy didn't live long enough to watch as all his efforts were proven to be in vain.

Because history repeats. The son becomes the father. Theres only one way this story ends.)

#marvel mcu #avengers #tony stark #iron man #spider man #peter parker #irondad and spiderson #irondad #spiderson #peter parker and tony stark

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soliloquent-stark · 3 days

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where the shield goes, bucky follows

marvel parallels 27/?

chris evans, sebastian stan, and anthony mackie in captain america: civil war (2016) and the falcon and the winter soldier (2021)

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scar-lie · 1 day

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Omega Pt. 14 {Natasha}

Summary : Seeing a little hope makes Natasha be protective and want to win you back again little by little

Pairing : Alpha ! Natasha Romanoff x Omega ! Reader

Warning : Nothing

World count : 2,283

{OMEGA PT. 13} {OMEGA PT. 14} {OMEGA PT. 15}

No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

Natasha has been sleeping in your room on the floor for the past four days now. You don’t have a heart to tell her that you four are okay and that she doesn’t need to guard you, so you just let her and offer her the couch at least, but she is still persistent about sleeping on the floor, so you just let her again and respect the boundaries between you two.

But Natasha has three reasons why she keeps insisting on sleeping in your room: first, to guard you; second, to be as close to the four of you as possible; and third, to at least earn herself even a little of your trust, and maybe there’s a chance. She hopes so, though.

And she’s still clinging to the idea that she can still earn the title of Alpha of yours someday, a baby step but still wanting to win you back, and she hopes that maybe you’ll lay beside her again and she’ll never gonna let you away from her hold, and the fact that she regrets sending you away when you let your thoughts win you and craving her hold.

So Natasha simply and secretly lay besides on the other side of the bed while admiring the four of you, peacefully and safely sleeping, but that’s only a few minutes, and she will go back to her makeshift bed to sleep by herself, and that’s enough for her to sleep alone in her room.

It took her weeks before you started to open up to her, letting her help you around, like cleaning the bathroom, and letting her help you when your back is hurting from the constant carrying of either one of the pups. To be honest, Natasha gives the best massage, and she also goes with you when you stroll the pups in the park.

But today, Natasha planned the whole day; every single detail was perfectly planned, and she hopes that everything will go according to her plan.

“Hi, I make breakfast,” then Natasha lightly brings the tray full of food to indicate that she really makes breakfast.

You blinked a few times and rubbed your eyes since it’s basically 6 in the morning and you’re not ready to wake up just yet, and the situation you're in makes Natasha chuckle at how cute you look. You glared up at her when you heard her chuckle.

“Why are you laughing? It’s too early for your breakfast,” you groan, leaning your head on the door frame while you yawn and stretch your limbs.

“It’s actually quarter to 7, and I just want to surprise you for breakfast in bed,” she says, giving you a shy smile, so you open the door wide open, and then you two proceed to the bed.

But before she could set the tray down, she looked at you, who’s already sat on the bed while your back was leaning in the bed frame, giving her a pout and puppy eyes.

“What’s wrong? ”Natasha then gave you the sandwich she made, then sat down in front of you.

“My back is still hurting.” You whimper a little, then take a bite of the sandwich. Natasha frowns at what you said; she doesn’t know if you’re doing it on purpose, even if your back doesn’t hurt for her to give you a massage, or if it really is.

And she doesn’t have any issue or complaint about massaging you, but she noticed that your back is hurting a lot these days, and that's concerning her. Maybe something is wrong.

“Have you gone to Dr. Cho? Your back is hurting a lot these days.” Natasha then pulled you up a little to sit up and scoot you forward so she could sit down on your back and start to lightly massage your shoulder, making you moan a little at the satisfaction.

“Lower please, my lower back is killing me,” Natasha chuckles and scoffs out of amusement, then she lightly bends you down and lightly massages your lower back.

“Y/N, did you see Dr. Cho for your back pain?”Natasha asked again, and you shook your head and looked over your shoulder to give her a shy and apologetic smile, and that’s when Natasha knew the answer.

“We should visit her; maybe something is wrong.” By hearing it, your mood changed. It saddens you that you have to visit the medbay again and scares you that you will be admitted there again and can’t take care of your pups as much as you do, and like Natasha can read your mind, she sits down in front of you.

“Hey, we're just going to visit her and maybe do some tests, nothing serious.” You sighed, nodded, and took a bite of your sandwich.

"Ok.” You both then start eating your breakfast before the three pups start to wake up, and Natasha goes to Wanda and Yelena to ask if they can look after the pups the whole day since she’s still wishing that at least half of her plan will be done.

“Ok, Y/N, Nat, the result came up clean, no sign of abnormalities or anything different, but I would like to give some medicine to help the pain, and also don’t lift heavy materials for a week and get rest as much as possible. You need to let your body have a break since tending to the three pups could be overwhelming and hard, and please come back here after a week. I would like to run some tests again to make sure. That’s all.” Dr. Cho smiled at the both of you and gave you the medicines she prepared right before she entered the room.

"Thanks,” you two both said, then stood up to the bed you’ve been waiting for.

“Take those two times a day, morning and night, after your meal, and you have to take those 12 hours apart.” You two smile and nod, then thank her once again before you two walk out of the medbay with a sigh of relief.

“So, I planned this day to go out, and since Wanda and Yelena have the pups, maybe we could go out?”Then Natasha presses the elevator, going up to your floor.

“But Dr. Cho said, ‘Get rest as much as possible.’” You mimic her, then Natasha gives you a pout.

“I know, but I swear, no extreme activities, just walking around the park.” You bite your lower lips and sigh, knowing you can’t say no to those pouts.

"Fine,” you said, then Natasha smiled and quickly dragged you to your room to change, and so did she.

“Nat, look, I want those,” you pointed to the man who’s selling some balloons, a teddy bear, and some bracelets around the park.

“Which one? ”Nat asked, already taking your hand and leading you to the vendor that makes you squeak with happiness, and you jump a little, making Natasha laugh at your childishness.

“I want to have us a matching bracelet,” you said while looking at the various colors and various types of beads in the bracelet.

"Well, we could get those; which one do you think looks beautiful? ”Natasha, then join you in looking at the bracelets.

“Do you want a tulip? Or heart? Or maybe Shell? Gosh, they are beautiful; I can’t choose,” you whine, frowning, getting a little frustrated about what to choose, but Natasha smirked and saw a perfect bracelet.

“Why not this one? It looks good, and since you love nature, I think it will look pretty on you,” Natasha said, taking the butterfly bracelet, where there’s a big crystal bead in every two pink beads, and in the middle of those two are a little rock bead, and in the pendant, there’s two butterflies, one big with a little butterfly.

“But it's too girly,” you mumbled, looking up at her with a question.

“And? So? ”Then Natasha put it on you with a smile; seeing it really suits you, she took another one and put it on her wrist.

“Now we're matching,” she said, giving you a smile and taking a 20-dollar bill, saying to keep the change, then intertwining your hands with hers.

“But Nat, it looks too girly on your wrist.” You stop her from walking, getting worried that she will just throw it away when your back is facing her or that she will talk behind your back. You know, Natasha, she hates too many girly things when it comes to her things, and you already know and heard the way she insults them and the person when someone gives her girly things.

“So, I love it; it matches yours.” Then Natasha analyzed your facial reaction and body language and realized what you were thinking.

“I don't care if it's too girly; as long as it comes from you, I don't care what other people say. I love them,” Natasha said the last words when she looked down on our wrist with a smile, making me squeeze her hand.

“Now let's go get ice cream,” you cheer, and now you're the one who's dragging her to your favorite ice cream parlor.

“What flavor do you like? ”Natasha then took out her wallet, and you hummed, thinking and choosing what flavor you liked.

“I would like a mint chocolate chip and chocolate chip cookie dough.” You then stand beside Natasha with a smile.

“Ok, one of those, and I would like a vanilla and buttered pecan, please.” You two then wait until they serve you your ice cream, and after you get your ice cream, you two proceed to walk around the park.

But you're suddenly uncomfortable and shifting your stance, looking around the park, then fisting Natasha's shirt and going closer to Natasha.

“Natty? ”You whisper, the ice cream is getting forgotten that it is slowly melting.

“Mhh? ”Natasha, look at you after she licks at her ice cream. Seeing you uncomfortable and frowning, stop on her track.

“Something is wrong,” Natasha says, then surveys the surroundings and sends an alert to the team in case something happens.

“I feel like someone is watching us,” you added, and when you feel the cold ice cream running down your hand, you quickly wipe it with a handkerchief and lick the remaining on the cone.

“We should go home,” you nodded, and when you two turned around, that's when there's an explosion a few feet away from you, Natasha shielding you with her body.

"Fuck,” Natasha said, then saw armed people scattering around, so she pressed the emergency alert again.

“Shit shit shit,” then Natasha throws you on her shoulder and runs, getting you to a safe place, and that's when Tony, Wanda, and Sam come to the scene, landing perfectly and smoothly.

"Romanoff!” Tony shouted and came to her.

“I’ll go get her to the tower; go help them." Natasha gently put you in Tony's arms, then ran where Wanda and Sam were.

“Thought you might need these.” Sam gave her a pistol and a knife, smirking, but Natasha rolled her eyes at him.

“Yeah, sure, it will help me in the long run. Nice help, bird brain,” they both chuckle, but before Natasha could launch to the enemy, you were screaming her name.

“NAAAATTTT! "You screamed when Tony got hit in the middle of the air, hitting him in the arm and losing balance, making you fall.

“Wanda, catch Y/N!” Natasha shouted and ran to you. Wanda on the other side quickly turned around and saw you falling, so she quickly caught you with her powers and brought you down.

“Nat on your back!” Tony shouted, getting up to the floor and firing at the enemy who's on Natasha's back.

But before you could run to Natasha, someone grabbed you and put a handkerchief over your nose and mouth. You tried to wiggle out of their hold, but the longer you inhaled the toxin in the handkerchief, the harder it was for you to get out of their hold.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Natasha then ran faster, and thankfully Wanda saw what happened, so she quickly flew where you were.

“Put her down! ”Natasha's eyes are bright red while she holds the man with her powers in the neck and hand, where he was holding the knife on her neck.

But when he smirked and shook his head, Wanda quickly snapped his neck, and you fell to the ground unconscious.

“The team is already on their way; I’ll go take her to Dr. Cho. The pups are with Kate, and Yelena brought your batons, widow bites, and gun,” Wanda said when she scooped you up and turned to Natasha, who's checking on you for other injuries.

“I need,” Wanda quickly said, shutting her up and taking you away from her.

“I’ll have her; I’ll make sure she's safe; the city needs you, Nat, and it will be faster and safer if I fly her to Dr. Cho.” Then Wanda put Shield around you two and started to fly when Natasha gave her permission.

“Take care.” Then Wanda will fly you to the tower without any attacks on her way, and she will get you to Dr. Cho safely as she promised.

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avengerscompound · 1 day

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Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark Avengers: Age of Ultron

#marvel #avengers #marveledit #mcuedit #tonystarkedit #ironmanedit #tony stark #iron man #avengers: age of ultron #robert downey jr #rdj #a:aou #aou #marvel movies #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #199999 #film #avengerscompoundedit

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writerslittlelibrary · 10 hours

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Wandanat x adopted teen Hydra reader headcanons

masterlist

a/n: this was the most chosen in both polls, so I figured I’d post this one first. I apologise for not being able to come up with a lot for this one, but I hope you still like it :)

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

Wandanat who were both shocked when they found your broken and bruised body in one of the Hydra cells on their mission

Wandanat who didn’t hesitate to pick your unconscious form up and bring you to the quinjet to take care of you

Wandanat who immediately told Tony off when he suggested putting you in restraints until they knew more about you

Wandanat who stayed by your side until you woke up, and who reassured you after you had woken up that you were safe

Wandanat who stayed by your side while you were getting better, introducing you to the wonders of tv shows and take-out food

Wandanat who made sure you got a room next to theirs to make sure they could keep an eye on you and make sure you were safe and okay

Wandanat who helped you settle in to the best of their abilities. They wanted you to be as safe and happy as you could be, even though they knew it would be difficult for you to adjust

Wandanat who were the first to know when you accidentally unlocked your powers

Wandanat who helped you learn and control your powers, and helped you understand them and where they came from

Wandanat who brought you on your first ever shopping spree, buying everything you wanted, and who secretly bought everything you stared at for too long, while insisting you didn’t want it

Wandanat who bought you your first ever stuffed animal, one that you brought with you everywhere

Wandanat who nearly cried when you accidentally called them ‘moms’ one time

Wandanat who took you with them after the Avengers broke up, making sure you were safe and happy after another large change of surroundings

Wandanat who allow you to sleep in their bed with them when you get scared. You’ll be snuggling up to Natasha while Wanda snuggles up to you from the back, gently stroking your hair and back until you fall asleep, making sure you feel safe and secure in their arms

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @tia-thesimp @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @hor1zond1ar1es @lorsstar1st @superlegend216

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incorrectquotesmcu · 2 days

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[texting]

Y/N: I’m a theif.

Bucky: Thief.

Y/N: Theif.

Bucky: I before E except after C.

Y/N: Thceif.

Bucky: NO.

#source: unknown #bucky barnes #bucky barnes incorrect quotes #winter soldier #bucky barnes x reader #marvel incorrect quotes #marvel #avengers #avengers incorrect quotes

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the-real-mj · 3 days

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Mj: Why are you following me?

Peter: Because we’re dating now

Mj: Okay… what about Ned?

Peter: We’re a package deal

Ned: Buy one idiot, get one free

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ijuststareatstuffhereok89 · 10 hours

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One: “Thanks, I Hate You”

You and your arrogant PR client are bitter rivals, and there’s no length Loki won’t go to just to watch you squirm. Just when you think you’re going to get a much-needed break from the Great Redeemed Prince’s ego, you’re tapped to escort him to, of all things, a peace summit in Australia.

CONTENT WARNING: Loki's an asshole

WORD COUNT: 3.4k

MASTERLIST

“Mr. Odinson, tell me, how does it feel to be reformed for eighteen months now?”

“Mr. Laufeyson, actually, and it feels absolutely incredible, it’s as if my soul is free at last!”

“And you have no more genocidal urges or Asgardian instincts to kill?”

“Never again will I do harm to the people of this planet, who have so kindly agreed to give me a second chance after removing the influence of my--err---the scepter.”

Loki’s shit-eating grin unfolded across his face, but to the untrained eye, he looked every bit the contrite warlord who fell in love with the world he’d once targeted for conquest. He could twitch and tweak every muscle in his face into the optimal layout for ass-kissing, and the only ones who were ever wise were you and the rest of the team.

“At least he plays the part well,” you said bitterly to Tony, leaning over to mutter in his ear while watching the former ‘God’ play up the press like they were at a rock concert. Some of the reporters looked downright charmed, but you knew better. You were more interested in the snow flurries that were falling outside the window.

Tony shrugged. “Yeah, he’s okay.”

You sneered, rolling your eyes with disbelief. “Until the flash bulbs stop. Then he becomes a baboon’s taint.”

Stark muffled a snort of laughter with his fist. “Always one for eloquence. That’s why I hired you.”

“I’m also the only one around willing to wrangle that,” you paused, pointing at Loki as he folded his hands into a prayer pose, expressing gratitude for the praise he was receiving, “for your pittance of an asking price.”

“I pay you well,” Tony shot back in defense. “Loki knows how to keep up appearances--”

“--he took off his pants in the lunchroom yesterday to annoy me--”

“--most of the time.”

You folded your arms across your chest, glancing at the clock on the wall behind Loki as things in the press room wrapped up. In his very basic outfit: a dress shirt and tie, black slacks, and a tight, professional ponytail, he looked dashing enough. You’d known the truth about him for the eighteen months since you were hired to be his PR manager: Loki had all of the behavioral maturity of an eight-year-old high on pixie sticks. He loved attention, always jutting out his hips when he strutted about the complex, flipping his hair over his shoulder.

Loki loved to paint himself as the very model of a modern major comeback story. At first, it was for self-preservation. The terms of his parole as set forth by the UN were strict, and the best course of action to keep his freedom was to play by their rules. Over the next year-and-a-half, however, once it was clear that his image was evolving into that of a celebrity, Loki took the idea and ran with it, and he only used your unsavory opinion of his to fuel the fire he lit under your feet every chance he got.

It was almost as if he targeted you with most of his snarks and jests, always calling you every synonym for ‘boring’ he could muster. For a while, you could brush him off, but after the repeated comments, you began to push back…which led you to your current relationship status: tense at best, resentful and irritable more frequently.

You could not stand him! He never listened to your advice on how to conduct himself in public. One of his favorite pastimes was inviting the worst kinds of people over for sex, and then making you call them afterwards to dump them. “Loki isn’t sure he’s ready to fully commit to one person yet, but last night will always live in his memory…” It was degrading, gross, and such a slimeball move. You always sent each of his poor conquests a fruit basket the size of SoHo.

The only reason you refused to resign was that you really needed the money. Despite your repeated complaints, Tony was actually paying you very well. You could afford an apartment with a private toilet in Manhattan, anyway.

“And that’s all we have time for this afternoon, everyone,” Tony leapt onto the stage and gently nudged Loki away from the podium. “We’re all proud of Loki’s rehabilitation, as well as his decision to live among us and help the Avengers keep this world safe.”

The applause was thunderous. You bit your lower lip and got another glimpse of the snow squall outside while Loki bowed and mouthed thanks to his supporters. Every second you could successfully divert your attention away from the Asgardian was a victory. Alas, it was temporary.

As soon as he left the stage, he gave you a smarmy, evil wink. “Better than ever, wouldn’t you say?”

“Hercules couldn’t clean out all the bullshit in your stables, Loki,” you said with an exasperated sigh.

“Successfully convincing the world of your contrition is an art, you know.”

“So is painting on walls with shit, to some.”

Loki couldn’t help but snicker under his breath, You were the most feisty woman he’d ever met, aside from maybe Natasha Romanoff. “I see we’re fond of the scatalogical comebacks today. Doesn’t that mean your menses are coming on?”

You could have whirled around on your heels and punched him, but your restraint was enough to keep your professional demeanor, at least until you were out of public sight and in one of the private areas. There were still a LOT of people around and your entire job was keeping up appearances for both yourself and your charge. “I have a headache today, Loki, please shut up and let me do my job.”

“So it is your cycle!” he chortled, putting his hands on his hips. “Do you know what they say helps with menstrual cramps?”

“Don’t!” you warned between gritting teeth, giving Loki a glare of death. “I mean it!”

Loki paused, as if he was actually going to listen. Then he opened his trap, and it came out: “a good hard dicking!”

There it was. Your line. Loki had crossed it so far that he was about to meet customs on the other side.

You slapped him across his right cheek hard enough for his head to whip to the side. Of course, he was able to recover from it quickly, only to pout his lips and widen his eyes when several gasps from the reporters still in the press room silenced everything else. Loki’s snarky smile never left his face, especially as he looked back at you with a somewhat more venomous twinge.

“It’s 2024,” you scowled, “try something less sexist than blaming my period next time, assbag.”

“So violent,” he said lightly. “So attractive. No wonder you have so many dates…oh wait, that’s me!” he said mockingly, putting a hand over his heart and acting surprised. “I have all the dates, and you’re the one who resents that and takes it out on me by hitting me in front of all of my friends!”

He dropped his sarcastic smile, replacing it with narrow, threatening eyes and a thin frown. “Embarrass me like that again, woman, I dare you.”

“I only resent that you make me clean your dirty sheets afterwards, asshole,” you answered. “I don’t really care how many strains of herpes you intend to collect from the Greater New York area. You’re a pampered little twat, and I really do deserve more money for babysitting you.”

You started to leave, but you quickly thought better of it and walked back to say one more thing. “And I will gladly smack you in front of these people any day of the week! No one else is going to put you in your place!”

“And what place is that, Madam?” he asked, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow.

Nearby, a young blonde reporter who was clearly one of Loki’s fans had taken special interest, and was trying to shoot as many desperate glances at him as she could, asking for her turn in his bed with only verbal cues from across a crowded room.

“I’d say Hell, but you probably have a permanent residence there already.”

You noticed the blonde was starting to inch closer, and in her stupid, beady little eyes you saw your escape. “I think I see your Skank of the Day coming in for the steal right now.”

Loki turned to look at the blonde reporter, and he looked somewhat unimpressed. “I suppose. The only other creature in here with any sort of beauty is--”

He stopped mid-thought and decided to go back into his debonair facade, waving you away snobbishly and sticking his nose up. “You’re done for the day, I think. Now please leave me to woo this exquisite little doll who approaches…”

You did have some work you needed him for. There was a peace summit in Australia hosted by Amnesty International, and Loki was a keynote speaker, having been spared from the death penalty and turned into the Earth’s darling. He was the world’s most instantly-recognizable proof that anyone could be rehabilitated, which made him a highly desirable motivational speaker. The summit was in three days, and you needed to brief him on the PR person taking over your duties once he crossed the international dateline.

He could terrorize the Land Down Under for five days all he wanted. You were about to have your first vacation from the miserable fucker since starting your job. This was going to be your Christmas.

However, you didn’t feel like dragging him away from the little hopeful moving in on him, and instead you decided to begin packing your bag for your long-desired break from Loki.

“She what?!” you growled in anger, turning away from Stark and Banner to hide that fact that you were almost instantly upset by their news.

“Mrs. Donner resigned yesterday,” said Bruce Banner, twiddling his thumbs apprehensively, making him look like a human-sized pangolin. “She’s not taking Loki to Australia.”

“WHY NOT? She’s more qualified than I am!” you bullshitted, doing anything to try and convince these two to go after her. You knew what this meant, but you weren’t ready to accept it just yet. You were a fighter, and you sure as hell weren’t going to sacrifice your time off now.

“She’s also a Mormon. I’m surprised she put up with Loki’s harassment as long as she has,” replied Banner.

“Or maybe she enjoyed it so much she had to jet off to Planet More-Men or whatever heaven is for them,” Stark mumbled.

“It doesn’t matter,” you said, brushing the air in front of you as if erasing something off of an invisible chalk board, “what does matter is who we are going to send him with. His parole terms state he cannot cross international boundaries alone.”

“C”mon, Y/N, you know where this is going!” said Tony with a wink.

“No,” you said firmly.

“It’ll be summer down there,” said Banner, “It’ll be nicer than here in New York.”

“No!” you repeated. “My vacation!”

Stark rolled his eyes. “I know, I know, that’s why I’m offering you a month’s paid sabbatical after you return.”

“No…I…what?” your fast, angry thoughts slowed on the conveyor belt as you began processing his counteroffer. “I was only scheduled for a week!”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, I’m quadrupling that right now, I’ll even get it in writing if you want. I can do that. I’m awesome like that.”

A month! A month without Loki poking fun of your ‘menses’ or humiliating you with jests and quips under his breath. A whole month of sleeping in late, dressing like a slob, and not worrying about how you or any client of yours appeared to the public. Tony Stark certainly knew how to play your game.

“You must be desperate,” you sighed, thinking about it.

“Well, if Loki can’t attend the summit, it’ll look kinda bad,” Bruce added, his low, bashful voice somewhat harder to hear than Tony’s confident tone.

“I’ll get you VIP passes to any club in the city for the whole month you’re off,” Tony added. “Four of them. And unlimited cocktail service. Live like a movie star for the next month, and all you have to do is babysit our little horndog for five days in Aussieland this week.”

“Deal,” you acquiesced at last, not missing a beat. “I’ll do it.”

“Excellent.”

All three of you turned your heads toward the intrusive new voice in the room. Loki was leaning against the doorway to the office, arms folded, a shit-eating sneer on his face. You felt your skin go hot at his sudden, unwelcome appearance.

“I was hoping that my exertions manipulating that old dowager into quitting would bear fruit, and now it seems I’m just time for my little trip with my dearest friend in the Realm!”

“Easy, Lokes,” said Stark, holding back a laugh. “Don’t push it, ok?”

You bit your lip to keep your temper. It didn’t make any difference if you kept protesting. You’d taken Stark’s carrot, and now you had five days of this jester’s extraterrestrial farts to sniff.

“Oh, I’m sure the next few days will include plenty of pushing about,” said Loki.

Tony raised an eyebrow and began following Banner as he snuck out of the room. “Be on the roof tomorrow morning. Oh, and uh, the quinjet has got some issues so it can’t go any faster than Mach 1.5 right now. Means it’ll take a little longer to get out there. Hope you two can get comfortable with one another real fast.”

“You…you set this up,” you hissed, your anger bubbling to the surface now that your employer was out of range. “I ought to ask your father to hang you.”

This only made him laugh. “He would only love the pleasure, I’m sure.”

And I would love to see your corpse swinging by the neck, you thought. “Why? Why did you do this?” you asked with frustration. “You hate me and I absolutely hate you, Loki, so why force us to be in closer proximity for longer than necessary?”

“Oh, I couldn’t stand the idea of being apart from you, sweet pea! It’s my greatest delight in life to always hover five paces behind you and piss you off. The mere idea of being so far away for so long!” Loki brought a mocking hand to his heart, expressing fake sadness in both his body and face. “My heart would only cry for you.”

“I should just make you go alone and make an ass of yourself,” you suggested. “Maybe some Australian hell-beast will swallow you whole.”

“Oh-ho! By all means,” Loki chuckled, throwing his head back. “Let me loose without supervision in a foreign country as the sole representative of the United States, the Nine Realms, and the Avengers. That will go over well for all of us.”

Your jaw hung open, no witty retorts for him, Unfortunately, he was right. Punking out would in one way or another, only serve to humiliate yourself and Stark.

“Ah, ah…” Loki tucked a finger under your chin, nudging your mouth closed by poking your chin upward, “You’ll catch flies.”

He left you there, speechless in the middle of the room, only turning back in the doorway to add: “I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow, darling!”

Before going to bed that night, curled up in your sad little futon in your one-bedroom loft, you prayed to every god that wasn’t Asgardian that there would be some kind of apocalyptic blizzard that popped up out of nowhere, forcing the takeoff to be delayed. Inclement weather was probably the only acceptable excuse for Loki to be a no-show down in Sydney. WHile the city didn;t necessarily get as much snow as upstate near the lakes, it usually took a few inches to shut the whole place down. There was hope. Perhaps the weatherfolks were keeping it a surprise…

This meant, of course, that the next morning was the first perfectly sunny morning New York had seen in weeks. In a small act of rebellion against the little shit you had to babysit, you chose to take your sweet time getting in. You purposefully dragged your feet down to the subway, your suitcase dragging along like a weight tethered to your wrist. You saw an abnormally-long line outside of a coffee shop and decided to stop in for an Americano.

By the time you made it to the rooftop of Stark Tower, you were over an hour late, which was not typical for you. The jet was otherwise prepped, the diminutive young pilot tapping his feet impatiently by the nose, Stark and Loki just tossing the last of his belongings in around the side.

“Look who finally decided to grace us with her presence,” said Tony.

Loki dropped what he was doing and shuffled up to you. He gave a mock bow, taking your hand and laying a big wet kiss on the back of it. “My escort, how lovely to finally see your bright face ready for our trip!”

“Die.”

Loki pouted. “Oh, is that any way to greet your business partner? I asked for you to be at my side all week long! Don’t you think I’m owed a little more courtesy?”

“Please die.”

“That’s my girl.”

Just before you boarded, Tony gave you a wink and one last piece of advice: “Remember, when the going gets tough, lie back and think of England.”

The last thing he saw before the doors shut was your middle finger.

Once the pilot got the quinjet into the air, he announced that he’d need to take his time in order to appease whatever yet-to-be-diagnosed tech issue the plane had, and prevent something from happening.

“Ugh, so what’s our ETA, then?” Loki asked impatiently, the saccharine facade dropping the instant he was out of Stark’s view.

The pilot shrugged. “I can get us there safely in five hours, maybe.”

“FIVE HOURS?” you groaned. “This thing is--”

“--gonna disintegrate if I don’t treat it gently,” he shot back. “Relax! It’s still a hell of a lot faster than if you were flying in a Boeing, okay?”

You and Loki looked at each other with annoyance. You sighed and went to sit as far away from the cockpit as you could, taking a green-jacketed book from your shoulder bag and flipping it open a bit too dramatically.

Unfortunately, Loki didn’t seem to take the hint, sitting beside you and peeking over your shoulder.

“You kept us waiting on purpose,” he accused. “You’re a bit of a brat, you know.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. Gently shutting the book, you turned to Loki with the most serious expression you could muster without losing your professionalism.

“Look, Laufeyson, you’re the one who set this up for us. If I had to venture a guess, it’s because you’re bored and needed a new way to make me miserable. But let’s make one thing perfectly clear: I hate you. I can’t stand your smarmy face and how you get off on making me crazy! Every time you open your mouth, it makes me want to drop-kick an orphan! I’d rather have a root canal while on ecstasy every day for the rest of my life than be sitting right here next to you.”

Loki didn’t blink. “...and how does that make you feel?”

“But I’m getting my big payout when this is all over, so for FUCK’S SAKE, let’s make this easy on both of us? You don’t bother me, I won’t bother you. You can find a kangaroo’s pouch to ride around in for all I care.” You went to open your book again, but Loki laid a firm hand over top of it.

“I’m hurt. Truly.”

You snickered. “Sure.”

“You know what your problem is?” Loki leaned back, crossing his hands casually. “You’re too uptight.”

“Uptight? You call me defending myself against all of your abuse UPTIGHT?” you growled from behind your gritted teeth.

“Well, it wasn’t abuse at first,” Loki added, “I was only making jokes to say hello!”

“Bullshit,” you said angrily. “The day we met, you called me a servant and asked if I would massage your feet.”

“Well, now it’s just fun for me to watch you lose your temper,” he admitted. “The thought of being alone with you to twist and push every button you’ve got just to see how loudly you’d shout…”

“Stop it, Loki! I’d rather this plane go down right now than be alone with you. Ever!”

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