#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kaiso-woo · 6 months

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Just Stay.

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-> Masterlist

PART 1 of my ‘Stay Series’ - a long hypothesised journey of a relationship between Bang Chan and Reader.

WC: 6.8k | Overall ‘Stay Series’ Synopsis: Bang Chan experiences the suic!des of Stays, so when you lot choose to die, he dies right along with you. Reader is the “antidote” to this condition.

Notes: Second Person Narration, Skz Fluent in English, Swearing, CaféOwner!Reader, Fem!Reader, Idol!Chan, Barista!Chan, Suic!de (Strong Descriptions), ANGST (LITERALLY EVERYWHERE, NO NEED TO SQUINT), Fluff (At the End)

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PART 1

!!Casual reminder this is entirely fictitious - Chris/Christopher in my work does not represent the actual Bang Chan - this is purely my imagination and nothing more - this goes for all other SKZ-Members too!!

What should you do when you witness the end of a life? Cry and wallow in the darkest corners of disconsolation? Feel your heart shatter, a million fractals of sharply glittering reflections exploding in a mere fraction of a second? Some believe time is nothing more than an illusion though – so should you instead decide to lie on your bed, a place of restless solace, and stare up at the empty ceiling?

If this were the case, could you then be compared to a lonely garden gnome, fated to ponder life’s every aspect through a single perspective? Would you shrivel away from the light, choose to accept the pitiful concept of simply existing and allow your garden to wither; green to grey, flesh to bones, petals to stems? Perhaps your coping mechanism is to simply scream. Shut the doors. Close your blinds. Block your ears. Scream. Dry your eyes. Breathe…

Scream.

He does none of those. Instead, his eyes flutter closed momentarily, chest heaving, hands shaking, before he pulls himself away and picks up the computer mouse again. They’re becoming more frequent, or maybe he’s becoming more attune to them.

He doesn’t witness these deaths, exactly. He feels them; what it’s like to have the frigid wind tug at your hair, howling in your ears, the moment of impact with the blistering ground causing him to flinch violently, hand clamped over his mouth in a desperation to quell any yell; what it’s like to have your vision swim, blotting in and out of darkness, your throat constrict as though a pressure is forcing its way from inside out, desperate, erratic gulps for sweet sweet oxygen achieving nothing; what it feels like to stand there, shivering, your heart rate increasing tenfold, breaths quickening to mere pants, as you will every instinct in your body to remain still – ‘do not move’, you think, ‘it’ll be over soon’, you remind yourself, ‘the lights are closer now, and they’re fast, they won’t stop’.

How dearly he wishes for them to stop.

He’s better at dealing with them now, definitely more subtle. The panic that envelopes him every time he realises something is about to happen however, will never leave him. He’ll drop what he’s holding, frantically disappear into one of the empty rooms in the company building, lock the door and rake a hand through his hair. The number of times the stylists have grumbled at him for messing up his styled hair is limitless, but he doesn’t care, why should he?

The studio door clicks open, and his head snaps to the sound. Immediately, he attempts to steady his breath, and pulls his expression into his signature straight smile :] as Jisung enters the room, a plastic bag filled with takeaway containers in his hand.

“Eh? What’re you doing here…?” Chan grins, his eyes widening dramatically. Swiftly, he swipes his computer mouse to the top of the screen to check the time.

2.23am

“It’s so late Jisung, were you practicing choreo?” he continues, hitting save on his keyboard so he doesn’t accidentally delete his work while distracted. “I brought you food,” Jisung mumbles, lowering it onto the coffee table and carefully unpacking it all. Chan’s mouth begins to salivate excessively as the smell of chicken wafts towards him, but he rubs his face and resists the urge to sit down with Jisung and eat to his heart’s content.

Jisung plucks a drumstick from the box, “Why are you working here alone?” he questions, a sad pout on his chubby cheeks as he wanders over to the computer, careful not to drop any crumbs. Chan shrugs, hoping it’ll satiate Jisung’s concern.

It doesn’t, of course, and his pout morphs into a small frown. Jisung tries to shove the chicken into Chan’s mouth, offering it to him demandingly. “You eat, you eat,” Chan waves it away and turns back to his computer, “You wanna listen? I think it’s almost finished, something’s just not right with the auto tune… I think. It sounds off,” he picks the headphones off the desk and holds them out for Jisung, who has taken a bite of the chicken happily and is munching away. Again, he tries to give Chan the chicken drumstick, and refuses to take the headphones until Chan is eating the chicken.

As Jisung listens to the song, Chan’s mind drifts back to the corners of his thoughts, the shadows that have been swirling there for a long while now. He doesn’t know when it first began, doesn’t want to remember it to be honest. He was in his room, dozing off into a comfortable sleep, the purple LEDS providing a soft glow to the darkness.

It was abrupt, swinging into him out of nowhere, but he sat bolt upright, hands grappling with the sheets desperately. His vision swam, and he retched on dry air. He groaned and keeled forwards, hands suddenly clutching his chest as it tightened painfully – corkscrewing into his heart, but at the same time it was as though someone was trying to pry it open. He retched again, and he regretted in that moment that he had chosen purple to light his room earlier. The colour was making his head pound, his belongings swimming in and out of his vision, worsened by his unstable swaying.

In a panic, he crawled over to the side of his bed. Then with a last hacking cough, he vomited onto the floor, the acrid taste on his tongue causing him to recoil, the stinging burn in his throat making his eyes water. Not that it mattered. He couldn’t see shit anymore. A dry sob escaped his lips, as he desperately tried to fumble for something to ground him back to reality. He saw speckles – grainy, fuzzy, surreal.

The world tilts, and maybe he falls off the bed too. And he’s gone.

“It’s not the auto tune effect – it’s the timing of the bridge,” Jisung drags Chan back to reality, his head bopping slightly to the music. Chan blinks and scoots aside to allow the younger to fiddle with the computer mouse, rewinding the audio so he can listen again. Chan is finishing off the chicken drumstick, so he hums in acknowledgement instead to Jisung’s feedback. “Yeah, it’s the bridge. The vocals need to be delayed a little,” Jisung concludes, “Want me to fix it up?”

In the silence of the room, Jisung pulls over another chair and gets to work. Chan watches him contentedly for a while, happy to absorb himself in the clicking and tapping of his first child’s proceedings - watching him edit and perfect the track they’ve been working on for the past few months. Jisung glances at Chan, his concentration breaking, “You’re unusually quiet.”

Chan reaches over and squeezes his shoulder comfortingly, “Just thinking.” “Right... well, eat more. And then go to bed,” Jisung insists, briefly squeezing the hand on his shoulder in return. Chan sighs and hoists himself out of his chair, sinking back onto the couch so he can easily dig into the food. “Thanks mate,” he mumbles, and when the man makes no move of acknowledgement, Chan smiles softly and nibbles on some more chicken.

He woke that time, on the floor of his bedroom, dangerously close to the stinking heap that was his vomit. His head pounded, a dull ache ringing in his skull as he mustered all his strength to simply stand up and pull over the blinds.

“What the fuck was that?” He groaned, resting his head on the window and basking in the warmth of the early morning sun, so comforting, so full of life – a steady presence. After he spent the next ten minutes gathering his wits and cleaning up the mess, he brushed it off as food poisoning; maybe something in the food Hannah cooked last night (he’d never tell her that, of course).

On another day, in another place, maybe a few weeks from then, he had returned to Korea, jumping straight back into his busy schedule. They were in the middle of an interview, not the first, and certainly not the last. In hindsight, he was thankful he had chosen to stand in the back row. At first he thought he merely needed to cough, a ticklish sensation wrapping around his throat, a ghost of a hand caressing his neck. He swayed dangerously when he felt it tighten harshly, so suddenly, and his heartbeat escalated, his legs becoming jelly.

His head snapped back as his whole body teetered over the edge of the platform he was standing on. A searing pain blazed across his neck for a second, causing him to grapple with it in shock. Changbin grabbed his arm at that point, preventing him from completely falling over backwards.

“You okay?” he whispered, careful not to draw too much attention to the pair, professional as always. Chan corrected himself and tried to control his breathing, forcibly inhaling and exhaling through his nostrils. He pulled a face, his eyes wide, and waved his arms a little, “Thanks. Almost lost my balance there.”

Throughout the rest of the interview, he remained silent, thinking hard. What just happened? And why did it feel like… he had just been… hung?

It took him months to string two and two together, months of spontaneous moments of death, in which he remained alive. He’d be drowned countless times, be stabbed infinitely, shot in the head, electrocuted, run over by train… after train… after train, until he fully accepts that these were all connected.

As time wore on, he began to hear things too, inner monologues he supposed, of their voices. He figured if this condition, whatever it was, lasted long enough, he’d soon be able to see it too.

Stay. Just stay. Stay’s. It’s you. You’re not staying. He was burning in the middle of a fire. That much was obvious by the scorching pain on his skin, brutal enough that he just wished he couldn’t feel. He screamed into the couch pillows, knowing full well that the studio was soundproof, but paranoid all the same that any of his members would hear him.

‘Thank you Stray Kids, for everything.’

Stay. He couldn’t tell at this point whether the pain was his or from the person who was dying. Both, perhaps. All this time, the people who were dying, the people who were killing themselves, were Stay’s. Or maybe this time was a coincidence, maybe this person just happened to be a part of the fandom.

It wasn’t though.

More and more often, in the midst of some version of death, he heard thoughts, whispers:

“You got me this far Stray Kids.” “Skz you’re my everything.” “Keep fighting Stray Kids.”

“Chan, I love you.” “Thank you Chan.” “Life was good thanks to you, Chan.”

Fuck. This. Shit.

Stay.

His members were either dense, playing dumb or he was an incredible actor and the sneakiest being on all of planet earth. He had no idea how he had managed to hide this, for so long, and not hear a peep out of any of them.

Sure, he attributed his puffy eyes (from tears) to a lack of sleep, or too much time in front of a computer screen. Maybe his lack of sleep could be contributed to insomnia, not that he genuinely didn’t want to sleep with the fear that he might wake abruptly to a strangling death. Again.

More recently, in an attempt to be more cautious, when that panic settles in - a familiar feeling of fear, 'I can do this. I'm going to do it. I want to die. Do I want to die?' - he'd excuse himself to the bathroom.

“Chan hyung’s gone to the bathroom.” – posts Hyunjin.

Yeah. To die.

He yawns, stretching as he returns to the studio from a genuine bathroom break. He’s excited to return to his work; a sample he’d stumbled across waiting to be incorporated into a new song. After he shuts the door, he checks the time on his phone.

There’s an hour and a half until 12am– he needs to do Chan’s Room soon too, it’s Sunday. He was comforted by Chan’s Room, to see so many Stay’s on his lives, thankful to have them there, rather than at the top of a building, or sinking at the bottom of a river. He decides that the sample can wait – it’s saved anyway.

He flipped his black hood over the top of his cap, carefully adjusting it so it was presentable, and began to set up the live. He had a few songs in mind that he’d play for you all but was really hoping you’d contribute to the song suggestions too. He smiled, and he laughed, and he danced along to the songs, joyously reading your comments and responding with enthusiasm despite it getting later into the night.

Then the mood shifted when his eyes skimmed over a particular comment. He froze, and his bubble of security popped. He wasn’t sure if he had managed to blot you out, or if the fear had only crossed through after you had sent that message, but he was positive that the person who typed the question, was the person currently pressing a knife to his heart – a small, sharp prick on his chest.

Chan inhaled sharply and swivelled in his chair, “Yeah don’t… don’t hurt yourself, yeah?” The chat exploded with questions and comments, wondering why he was bringing it up and offering words of comfort. The sharp pain on his chest receded slightly, but the fear was still there, the emotional pain ever present. “Just because you have a lot of stress, it doesn’t mean that you have to relieve it by hurting yourself.”

There. Same user. New comment. ‘Your future isn’t worth living for’? Bullshit.

“If you think about the future… it’s best to just keep away from that and find different ways of relieving stress.” Self-consciously, he fiddles with his hoodie drawstrings and swivels in his chair again, desperate to hide the panic flicker across his features briefly. The knife was back.

“You never know what’s going to happen in the future. Something might go wrong, then there might be a turning point and then- from then on you feel really, really regretful,” he’s rambling at this point, thoughts unhinged, spluttering and mixing like mush in his brain. He just needs to get you to stay.

He takes a deep breath, and drills his eyes into the camera, pleading with what little he could offer, “If you really, really can’t help it or if you really just don’t know what to do or you’re really- really lost, as I’ve always said,” he smiles, eyes shimmering, “come here; look for me, ask me, talk with me.” He waits, praying, fiddling his thumbs below the desk.

And the agonising feeling fades, leaving him deflated, relieved.

“I’ll try my best to relieve your stress,” he concludes, then spreads his arms wide. He knows Stay didn’t ask for it, but he was offering one of his hugs more for himself than them.

His relief would be short-lived. He can’t save everyone.

I guess, it’s about time I introduce you. You, not as one of those who have given up. Not as one of those who have caused Chan’s suffering. I introduce you, as simply you. You, who carefully pulls your keys out of the café door. You, who draws down some of the shutters with a soft smile. You, as wonderful, loving, bubbly you.

You make your rounds around your haven, your café. It’s a combination of everything you could possibly imagine to be creative. It’s been your dream to create a safe hub for the public that incorporates a library, a café, study area, art studio, computer labs, rehearsal room and even a recording studio.

Pets were welcome, of all kinds, as long as they wouldn’t fight with each other, and you were open from 7.30am in the morning until 1am the following day.

If anyone fell asleep studying, working on music or reading, you’d leave them where they were and pull out the blankets you kept in storage. The policy for this was simply a bond of trust. Customers could stay working for the night as long as they didn’t mind watching you drift around in the morning in your bedhead and PJ’s, slowly beginning to set up for a new day.

You would always offer them a morning hot chocolate, coffee or tea, free of charge, but more often than not, they’d leave their money on the counter when you turned away, refusing to let you best them in a game of generosity.

Books could be borrowed, studios and study rooms booked, pets left in the backyard day/night day care. Equipment was supplied in all the rooms, instruments for loan, computers to log into, art tools for perusal. The rule for these? Don’t break them. If customers break them, they pay for them.

If something run’s out, let you know. You only offered the basic necessities anyways, so you restocked them yourself. Anything else customers bring for themselves. It was safe. It was cosy. It was yours. Yours to give. Admittedly, you still had to pay off the loan you took out to set up the place, and if time grew short you were considering shutting down the recording studio – it was the least used area.

You pushed the last few stray chairs in as you considered whether to make yourself a final cup of tea before settling down in your apartment upstairs. There were two people currently dozing in various locations of Café Studio, one of whom was a regular. A third customer was sipping the last dregs of his coffee, watching your humble movements out of the corner of his eye.

“Mind if I call it a night on one of your couches?” he asks, scraping back his chair to place his mug on the counter by the coffee machine. That’s James. James fucking Jamison. Always here for whatever reason, never not here, where you wanted him to be. You withhold a sigh and the temptation to pinch the bridge of your nose, “Yeah, go for it. You know the drill.”

You welcome all customers, all are valuable guests. Except for him. He just won’t take a hint.

He saunters idly over to you, hands in his pockets, and clears his throat, “So… are you sure you won’t be free any time this week?” You can feel his eyes drilling into your back and scrunch your nose distastefully, pulling out your phone as if to check something, “I can’t, I run this place.”

He’s still staring at you, so you whisk your earphones out from a pocket in your apron and plug them into your ears. It doesn’t take you long to press shuffle on your playlist, and immediately your current favourite song begins to play, as if it knows exactly what would help you through this situation, or maybe they knew.

“What if you just shut the place down for the day?” he asks with an awkward laugh, running his hand through his hair dramatically. So cool. You roll your eyes and turn around to face him, internally dancing to the song in your ears. You give him a once over, genuinely considering him, “I can’t shut down my only source of income for a day.” “Even for-”

“Especially not for you.” The two of you stare at each other and you can sense that somewhere in those blue eyes of his, you’ve angered him. He’s not pleased, and he never has been with your constant rejections, but so far he hasn’t tried anything. He would be stupid to do so, with surveillance cameras set up everywhere and two customers sleeping not far away.

Go kill yourself.

You wince as sharp pain crackles across your forehead, “Sorry what?” James blinks at you quizzically, his sizzling demeanour vanishing at your confusing outburst. “I didn’t say anything.”

Go. Kill yourself.

You hiss, hand clutching your forehead, and stumble into the nearest table. James is onto you in a second (“Woah there”) trying to support you, when the table was doing just fine. “Back off,” you snap, pushing him away, which causes you to stumble back into the window, the last one without its shutter pulled down, “and shut up.” Again, he blinks at you, ever the stupid dolt he is.

‘Heh… funny.’ Why’d I say that?

Desperately, you swivel and press your forehead to the cool of the glass window, groaning in agony. The music playing in your earphones becomes too much, so you tug them out of your ears, your phone lighting up on the paused song of “Silent Cry”, by Stray Kids.

I wonder if it’ll still be funny after- if I-

You crack your eyes open and peer outside, dimly trying to discern whether this was a voice in your head, or a voice in real life. It spoke with a pained clarity, exhaustion numbing what could have been a voice of laughter and passion. How you knew this, you had no idea.

“Hey, are you good? Are you on your period or something?” James piped up helpfully, and if you weren’t so heavily concentrated on scanning your surroundings outside you might have kicked him out of your store right then and there.

Then you spotted someone. A lone figure, shrouded in the hazy glow of a streetlight, leaning over the bridge railing. Café Studio was located on the banks of the local river, wide enough for boats to barge through, deep enough to be terrified of the unknown creatures writhing within.

You watched, the incessant pounding in your head diminishing the longer you stared at the figure. If he wasn’t standing in the middle of the light, you wouldn’t have spotted him in his completely black outfit. Someone certainly wasn’t one for colour. He leaned further over the railing, clutching his beanie to his head as though afraid it would fall off in the wind.

In seconds, you had ripped your phone and headphones from your apron, leaving it on one of the tables, and fumbled with the key to unlock the café door. It was chilly out, but you ignored the goosebumps speckling your skin, and James’ confused fucking shouts – like would the guy stitch his mouth shut please.

That was him. The idiot leaning too far over the railing was the one whispering nonsense in your brain. How you came to this conclusion was to anyone’s guess, but it was him. In the seconds it had taken you to sprint over to him, he had clambered on top of the railing, balancing precariously, his hands in his hoodie pockets, gazing into the depths of the water.

Maybe in another life, if you weren’t out of breath trying to stop him from ending it all, you might have been enamoured by his features. As you drew closer, you could make out the defined cut of his jaw, his wide shoulders, plush lips tinged with pink from the cold, dark eyes alluringly intimidating. This wasn’t that life though, and you paid no attention to any of it really.

A dawning realisation settled on your features however, after a brief assessment of his face caused you to realise that you knew him, perhaps not personally, but still knew him. “Bang Chan?” you whisper, the name falling from your lips in a panicked whisper, “Chan no…” your legs work harder, and you pray almost deliriously that he doesn’t do it. Don’t do it. He can’t.

“Bang Chan!” you yell, losing all sense of discipline as he sways gently, contemplating, “Chan!!” he doesn’t appear to hear you, absorbed in his own mind. You’re there, you’re right there, and this time, when you call desperately, “Christopher!” his eyes snap up to meet yours.

It’s this particular moment, that will be ingrained in your mind in the following years. The way his eyes spark in shock at the sight of you, then relax, as though he understands, and has complete control over everything in his life.

Without hesitating, you snatch at his clothes and tug him backwards. His heavy body crashes into yours, but you don’t care. You wrap your arms safely around his waist as you tumble to the paved path in a heaped mess of clothes and limbs.

He wriggles around in your grasp, trying to position himself more comfortably, and eventually wind up staring each other dead in the face, blinking through your lashes up at him, his palms on either side of your head.

An uncomfortable silence settles between you, fizzing in the limited space between your faces. Then without warning, you roughly shove your hand behind his head and pull him down into a hug, tears beginning to stain your cheeks.

“What the fuck? What the fuck?” you croak, needlessly shoving your hand underneath his beanie so you can tangle it into his curled hair, “What the actual fuck, were you doing?!” you cling to him tighter, and your breath escapes in garbled gasps that quieten to silence when you feel the trickle of wet tears on your neck.

Gently, you remove your hand from his head and relax your body, allowing him to remove himself from you if he so wished. He burrows his face further however, his arms collapsing onto his elbows, and suddenly you can hear him sobbing.

The tears on your neck weren’t your own. He sounds so broken, crying his heart out as though he were a lost little child who dropped his ice cream. The raw emotion and lack of restraint in his sobbing scrapes at the threads of your heart, and again, you’re crying. Crying with him, for him – understanding everything, and nothing at the same time.

Eventually, you wipe the tears from your face, trying to figure out what to do next. You need to comfort him, talk to him, remind him that he’s worth this world, and the world doesn’t deserve him because by god- if anyone knew even a scrap of what this man meant- he’s laughing. Why is he laughing?

His warm breath tickles your neck as he chuckles, his sobs magically morphed into an amused laughter, which is the most concerning thing by far. Chan pulls away from you, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he laughs and hastily dries the tears on his face.

“Sorry. I am so sorry you had to see that,” he grins, and you frown at him. “Sorry I had to see what? You almost jump off a fucking bridge, or your tears? It better not be the latter Christopher, or I’ll gladly rewind time and push you over myself.” Almost immediately, you regret the words tumbling out of your mouth when his face crumbles again, “Would you really?” he whispers, sitting up beside you.

“No. No I was kidding. I was just- you’re allowed to cry, Chan,” you sit up too, and then it’s just the both of you, sitting alone, a strange pair, by the railing of a bridge. “So you know who I am then?” he dutifully asks, gingerly fixing his beanie and offering a small smile.

“Yeah,” you take note of the way his posture deflates, and add quickly, “But it doesn’t matter. None of that matters. What matters is that you tried to…” your words die in your throat at the reproachful glint in his eyes, shimmering eerily in the lamplight. Instead, you stand up and offer him a hand. He cautiously accepts it, allowing you to help him stand with you. “Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you,” you smile, giving his hand a shake. He stares at you, bemused, and shakes your hand back. “Christopher Bahng. And… thanks.” You’re not sure if he’s thanking you for stopping his plummet to death, or for helping him sit up, or for letting him cry… he could be thanking you for a lot of things, so instead, you do the next best option.

“Want to head over to my café? I’ll make you a cup of coffee,” you offer, flicking your head to the still lit building, where fucking James is standing outside, ogling you from afar, his hands on his hips. “Sure… only… I assumed you’d know I don’t drink coffee,” he shoves his hands into his hoodie pockets again, and as your eyes slide from James and then back to the man in front of you, you suddenly struggle to process everything that’s just happened.

“Why would I? We just met,” you flash him a coy smile and lead the way. You stroll into the café, holding the door open for Chris so he can step through, his hands still in his pockets. James makes to follow, but you slam the door shut in his face and lock the door swiftly.

“Uh…” Chris begins, his eyes wide, asking for an explanation. “No questions. He won’t leave me alone, and that’s that,” you grin brightly, then rush to disappear behind the café bar and begin to prepare him a drink. He seats himself on a stool and tries to watch as you work. You grow uncomfortable in the silence, especially with him watching you so closely, so you instinctively begin to ramble.

“This is Café Studio. You might have noticed by the sign out front.” He nods, indicating he’s paying attention. “I run this place entirely myself, and I live above…” You tell him everything you can think of, from the studios attached to the café, to your favourite pets that frequently get dropped off for day care or overnight stays. His eyes light up when you mention the recording studio, and you have a feeling he’ll go back to the topic after.

In no time, you have two hazelnut croissants prepared, a steaming mug of white hot chocolate for yourself, and a mug of caramel hot chocolate with a dusting of cinnamon for him (you refuse to tell him what’s in his drink, which makes him pout sadly because he loves it). You lapse into silence as you eat and drink, and you know you need to breach the topic again, somehow, you can’t just leave it unattended.

“Can I ask…” you begin, but he interrupts you smoothly. “I just wanted to see what it would look like.”

Chan knew he could never tell you that he’d experienced death a hundred times over in the past months. You’d think him insane.

You knew you could never tell him you heard his voice, loud and clear in your head. He’d think you delusional.

“About that… recording studio… does anyone use it?” he inquisitively asks, and you shake your head sadly in response, wiping croissant crumbs off your face. “Not really… I’m considering selling it. I need to repay the loan I took out, and if the recording room is just dead weight then I don’t see why-” “Don’t. It won’t be dead weight,” he hurries, and is about to say more before he reconsiders, “Mind if I check it out?”

Of course you don’t.

Chris returns to his hotel later that morning. It’s 4am by the time you crawl into bed, recounting the events of the day in a sluggish fashion. Only 2 and a half hours ago you had pulled him away from certain death.

A shiver disturbs your spine as you replay the memory, and you curl tighter into your blankets. What if you hadn’t? His inner monologue certainly didn’t sound like he simply just “wanted to see what it looked like.”

Somehow, you manage to drag yourself through the rest of the morning, living off a few hours’ sleep at most. Thankfully, there aren’t many customers to begin with, giving you a chance to get organised a little later than usual. Chris had left with a small smile and a wave, and you watched him disappear down the street, a part of you worried he’d decide to try the bridge again.

He returns in the afternoon with the same small smile and wave, shocking you to the core. He’s got a cap pulled low over his eyes, hood pulled neatly up, and a black mask obscuring most of his face.

The only reason you recognise him this time is because of those actions, and the particular way his eyes crinkle, disappearing when he genuinely smiles. Quietly, he asks for the same drink you made him earlier that morning and asks to borrow the recording studio – “change of scenery,” he explains casually.

As the days go by, he visits as often as he can, always with those same twinkling eyes, and always still carefully covered up. You have no idea how he’s managed to convince his company to continuously let him out in public without staff, nor how long he’s staying here for.

He must be on vacation or something because this was certainly not Korea. You frequently check up on him too, never hesitating to ask whether he needs any support. He shakes his head every time and stares at you unblinkingly, trying to convey a message through only his eyes.

You’re already helping him. This haven, your haven, is helping him already. You don’t know this of course. Nor do you know that his odd connection to suicidal Stay’s has ceased. He hasn’t felt them in ages, and in a twisted way, he’s relieved – hasn’t felt this light in a while.

“Mind if I book the whole café out for a day?” he mumbles to you from your side, his hands nimbly working with the coffee machine to produce an order for a customer. One day he had asked if you could teach him a few things on the machine. Before long he knew how to make every drink, and happily watched underneath his mask as customers sipped his creations.

Every drink that is, except for the special one you made for him – it was actually your Mum’s recipe. You refused to teach him, but he could easily figure out the ingredients and method to make it for himself by now, if he really wanted to, which perplexed you every time he asked you to teach him.

Truthfully, he didn’t really want to know. He just liked seeing the tiny crease on your forehead and adorable smile whenever you refused. And now… he had even more reason to come back. For the hot chocolate. Definitely.

“The whole-? Library and everything?” you inquire, as you refill the jar of chai powder. “Mhm,” he hums, nodding to a regular as they float by, “Staff want us to film a Skz-Code Episode while we’re here, and they left it up to us to decide where.” “Oh. Sure. What do you need, for me to close up for the day?”

“I want you to stay though. Don’t disappear upstairs to your apartment… please. Can you stay and… watch?” he innocently asks, and you stare at him in surprise, clipping the jar in your hands shut with a snap, “Am I allowed to?”

It turns out that would be their last day. They returned to Korea on the following. In hindsight, you wish you had hugged Chris tighter when he tackled you with one before they left after filming, raising the eyes of several staff members and causing the Skz Members to chuckle with one another.

Chris was hugging you because he would miss you, and he was afraid that if he left, the traumatic episodes would return.

You were hugging him because you were full to the brim with Stray Kids’ warmth and happiness, but also because an unfamiliar safety nestled into your stomach as he hugged you, burying his face into your neck – the same place he had where he first met you.

“See ya soon, mate!” Felix called, carrying a box of your brownies. He had given you his recipe, and you eagerly followed its instructions while you watched them record their episode, smiling contentedly at their tinkering laughter, “These taste better than mine!”

“No one can beat Felix’s brownies,” Hyunjin muttered through a smile, but he’s happily munching on one of yours all the same. Jisung also has his mouth stuffed, his chubby cheeks wobbling as he nods his head. Seungmin offered you a polite handshake, and Jeongin an energetic round of high fives.

Somewhere in the distance, Changbin calls out your name, and performs a half heart above his head. You complete it, sticking your tongue out playfully. Not surprisingly, you and Chris have to duck back inside the café to hunt down Minho, who’s been playing with the cats left in your care for the day.

You didn’t find out that Stray Kids were leaving until that night when you spotted a live of them on your YouTube at the airport, and your heart plummeted with a sadness you couldn’t explain.

What… a strange… dream.

Everything become’s more surreal when you discover an envelope by the coffee machine the next morning, tucked neatly under the corner where Chris would usually stand to make his coffee’s. You pull it out carefully; there’s no name penned on the front. Curiously you pull out two sheets of paper. The first you open is in Chris’ handwriting (he had been leaving random notes and scribbling his signature wherever he could during his visits, so you were relatively familiar with it now),

A B C D E F G I wanna send my code to you Eight letters is all it takes And I’m gonna let you know

Lyrics. You flip over the paper and stare in a daze at the phone number scribbled there. Further down the page, there’s more lyrics, but from a different song.

Together, I feel time has flown so fast In my time, memories are crowded I didn’t know the sky was so clear like this until I met you I thought the sun was only scorching Thank you for coming to me And becoming the same shadow as mine before approaching the light

“Chris you cheesy ass,” you laugh, heartbeat thumping loudly in your chest.

You can STAY.

You’re so lost in your own thoughts that you almost forget about the second piece of paper. It’s a receipt. And on the bottom, are more words written in his handwriting.

The loan for Café Studio has been paid off, and the rent on your apartment. It’s all yours now. You can thank me when I come back.

Your eyes widen, and a small gasp leaves your lips. You fumble for your phone and add his number to your contacts. Then sparing no second, type out a message.

(A/N: When dialogue is in script format, it's meant to represent text messages)

You: “No you did not”

In the few seconds that you stare at your message, that you sent to Chris, disbelief written across your features, your phone buzzes with a response.

Chris: “Oh but I did”

You laugh, the sound gradually increasing as you throw your head back, giddy, a delicate pink tinge warming your cheeks.

“Something good happen?” James interrupts, rapping his knuckles on the counter to get your attention, “No side barista with you today? Who was he anyways, and what was with that mask?” “He’s… a good friend. Care for some tea?” “But I don’t like-” “Perfect.”

What should you do when you witness the end of a life? Cry and wallow in the darkest corners of disconsolation? Feel your heart shatter, a million fractals of sharply glittering reflections exploding in a mere fraction of a second? Some believe that time is nothing more than an illusion though – so should you instead decide to lie on your bed, a place of restless solace, and stare up at the empty ceiling?

Chris: “Are you awake?” You: “I am now” Chris: “Sorry go back to sleep” You: “I was kidding Christopher” You: “Of course I’m awake” Chris: “That’s not a good thing” You: “Look who’s talking” You: “Are you all good? Can’t sleep?” Chris: “Just felt like a chat”

They only visited him in nightmares, he discovered, which was still an improvement from before.

You: “Sure” You: “Care to explain your latest Insta post?” Chris: “No haha” You: “You burnt Stayville to the ground” You: “I think that deserves an explanation”

Chris smiles and flops back into his pillow. It certainly was an improvement from before. His mind was working over the possibilities, the many different choices he could make from here on out. Did you have something to do with this condition? Were you the solution to it all? What was it about you, exactly, that drew him to you?

You can thank me when I come back, he had written.

He thinks… he’ll be back for sure.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

-> PART 2 -> Masterlist

Yay! Milestone Event 1, Check!

Feedback is always appreciated, negative and positive alike. I apologise for any editing or formatting errors, I’m forever learning.

Until next read! - Kaisowoo

#bang chan #bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader #stray kids #bang chan angst #bang chan fanfic #bang chan x you #bang chan fic #suicide #feminine reader #cringecheeseycornycrap #swearing #wth idk what other tags to include #just don't read if you can't handle dark themes and SEVERE angst and strong descriptions of suicide :D #bang chan imagines #skz #stray kids fanfic #stray kids x reader

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mysterycharacterflowers · 11 months

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Plastic/fake strawberry flowers

Why this flower was chosen: Because he is very germaphobic and also phobic of the things that are in flowers and thus hates nature because it’s dirty (his friends even said that he would be would be a plastic flower if he were one) and strawberry because that’s the smell of the shampoo his wife used and that he can still smell on the pillow she slept on that he keeps (in a plastic case) and hugs when he’s sad

Description: He’s a detective.

His wife was murdered and for three years after that he didn’t leave the house because his phobias that he had before got exponentially worse. He slowly did start coming out of his house and getting better trying to figure out why his wife was murdered while solving other crimes. He has 312 phobias with the top being in order:

Germs

Needles

Dentists

Milk

Death

Snakes

Lightening

Mushrooms

Heights

Crowds

Elevators

He has impeccable memory, doesn’t like people and will 100% put his phobias and needs over manners. He can clean his house in his sleep, literally. At the end of the day he is a very nice friend but annoys the crap outa his friends and often doesn’t realise that they even care for him as much as they do/ doesn’t realise they consider him a friend. He always says “here’s the thing” before saying he can’t do something very particular. He also says “Unless I’m wrong, which you know, I’m not”. He always has his assistant carry wipes around and wipes his hands every time he shakes someone’s hand. He is very tight (as in with money) which is very relatable for me and probably other people and its hilarious when he hasn’t paid his assistant because he doesn’t have money (while still buying copious amounts of cleaning supplies) and because he’s so non confrontational he doesn’t want to ask for a raise even tho it’s a totally legit ask (which is also hilarious in and of itself) he ends up just avoiding the subject in any way possible.

He once was forced to decorate for Christmas (which he doesn’t do since his wife died) and he used not a fake tree but a paper cut out of a tree. He doesn’t at all know what would insult someone and rarely knows how to make someone feel better (often failing miserably but occasionally actually helping and being super wholesome). He hates/is scared of nakedness (and doesn’t even “look” when he wees) and there was a whole thing where he had to investigate a nudist and was just finding every possible way to find him guilty and it was hilarious (he was in the end more accepting of it but still freaked out) He also wears the same clothes every day and buys shirts checked by a specific checker in a factory that he actually sent a fan letter to (and helped prove her son not guilty).

Anyway he is very relatable for just introverted people or awkward people in general because he expresses the way we feel and does things we wish we could do or want to do and says thing we just think in the most hilarious ways, and if that doesn’t make any sense then he just acts and says things that we all kinda do on the inside. Apart from just mostly normal people, he is relatable for the people who share his mental conditions like my dad who is a germaphobe and even tho people still don’t understand germaphobia really, he knows that he gets it and he relates to him a lot. And he has a lot of other things like anxiety, and little things like not being able to deal with change and other stuff that just make him super relatable to neurodevergent people like me. When people first look at people with mental problems they say they are weak that so little sets them off but in reality, they are dealing with so so much that you can’t see and you don’t need to deal with and they- and he is (are) so incredibly strong. I love him so much and I would say more but I don’t want to reveal who he is.

(The picture was taken from this site!)

#mysterious character flowers #mysterious character: plastic/fake strawberry flowers

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webbedphantom · 5 months

Text

🎵"You never see it cominnnnng!"🎵

He was perched on the corner of a rooftop, his mask rolled up as he chowed down on a Moon Burger as he relaxed from his usual patrol when his phone started ringing.

'Uh oh-'

He knew who's ringtone this was. He quickly swallowed down his last bite, before pulling out his phone and holding it up to his ear.

🎵"You see-"🎵

Boop

"Hi Auntie."

"Renren!!" The older woman sounded ecstatic to hear from her surrogate son. "Finally managed to get ahold of you. You been busy or something?"

He chuckled softly to himself. "You could say that, yeah."

His aunt wasn't exactly aware of his current... condition. He hated lying to her, but he didn't want her to worry. Though, he could be a bit... overprotective of her in that regard. She was barely in her 40s, yet he treated her like she could die of a heart attack at any moment.

... Course, she did the same of him-

"Well, still I wish you would keep in touch more. I worry about you sometimes."

"I'm fiiiine." He said, his tone conveying not the slightest hint of annoyance. Honestly, while she could be a bit much at times, he found it more touching than anything. "But you're right, I've been meaning to call you. I do miss you, it's just... I haven't had a lot of free time lately."

"It's alright, dear. I know you're doing your best. You been keeping up with your homework?"

"Yes ma'am! I was top of the class on my last exam, in fact."

"Ohhh good! Good! Last I heard you were struggling with that a bit."

"There's been some..." He paused for a brief moment. How best to put this? "-difficulties on that front, yeah. Took a bit of time to... adjust. But I had a good study partner to help me through it, so I think I got it figured out."

He wasn't... entirely sure on that last part, though he supposed he never really could be. Not when there could always be some supervillain attack to interrupt his study time.

"Oh! That reminds me! It's not set in stone yet, but I'm planning on coming down to visit for about a week around Christmas. Figured it was about time I met these new friends you keep talking about, and what better time than the holidays?"

Uh oh-

"O-oh, really..? That's... great-"

"... You don't sound excited. Something wrong?"

"N-no! Of course not!"

Yes! Yes, something was very wrong!! His aunt was coming over for a week?? How the shock was he supposed to hide his secret from her?? He sucked at hiding his secret identity, literally ALL of his friends found out by complete accident.

"I j-just- I mean where are you going to stay?? Hotel rooms are kinda expensive, especially around the holidays-"

"Oh, that's no problem. I'll be staying at Sojiro-san's place."

THAT IS EVEN WORSE.

"Oh, wow... that's great. You'll be... just around the corner-"

There was a moment of silence on the other end, but he practically see the face she was making, despite the large distance between them. It was that same 'Really?' face she'd give him whatever she could him lying.

"Aaron. Seriously. What is the problem? You know you can talk to me."

She used his actual name this time. That didn't bode well. Quick, think up something! Anything she would buy as to why he'd react this way.

"It's just... nerves, I think. My friends mean a lot to me, and I'm a bit nervous what you'll think of them-"

"Oh nonsense-" She replied, a bit of life returning to her tone. "For you to speak as highly of them as you do, I'm sure they're wonderful people."

He gave a sigh of relief. He almost couldn't believe she actually bought that-

"I know, I know. It's... silly of me. Just... sometimes my nerves kick in before my brain can process why."

Which was actually true... just not in this case.

"I know, dear. I know. It's just how you are." He could almost see the motherly smile on her face as she said that. A smile he did miss seeing in person, so... You'd think he'd be happy about this news. And a part of his was, but... lying to her about all this stuff, all the danger he faces every day, it's a lot easier when he doesn't have to look her in the eye as he does it.

"Alright, well I'll let you go now. I'd hate to keep you from your errands any longer. But please, do try to call more often."

He sighed. "Okay, Auntie. I'll do my best."

"You'd better. See you at Christmas, Renren. Love you."

"Love you too."

He hung up the phone and groaned, his head hanging low as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

At least you have a month to prepare. His Persona remarked, trying to comfort him in whatever way he could. He knew how much this weighed on him all too well.

"Yeah..."

He pulled down his mask, balling up the wrapper of his lunch to shove into the pocket of his coat, before jumping off the roof to swing off into the city.

"-For whatever that's worth."

#verse unspecified;#Phantom Spider One Shots - Drabbles;#this just popped into my head and I had to write it #Also gives me more motivation to actually follow through on doing more with his Aunt instead of just saying I will #Fingers crossed i can find a decent face claim in the next... month-

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madewithonerib · 9 months

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Psalm 27:4 | The LORD Is My Salvation One thing I have asked of YHWH; this is what I desire: to dwell in the House of YHWH all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of YHWH & seek HIM in HIS Temple."

Charles John Ellicott, Theologian [1749-1905] | Psalm 27:4

[4] To behold the beauty—Literally, to see into the favour—i.e., to meditate on the graciousness of GOD.

To enquire—Literally, to look into, either judicially or critically; here, “to ponder or meditate,” however, & others add with notion of pleasure, “refresh myself,” but on doubtful authority.

Some Rabbis, connecting bākar with boker, morning, render, “to attend in the morning,” while some would entirely spiritualise the wish, as if actual attendance on the House of GOD were not in the poet’s thoughts.

But the words breathe—only in a higher key, the feeling of Milton’s well-known:

“But let my due feet never fail to walk the studious cloister’s pale,”

A mere transposition of letters would give an easy sense, “to offer in THY Temple.”

Alexander MacLaren, Baptist Minister [1826-1910] | Psalm 27:4

GOD’S Guests

We shall do great injustice to this mystical aspiration of the Psalmist, if we degrade it to be the mere ex- pression of a desire for unbroken residence in a material Temple.

He was no sickly, sentimental seeker after cloistered seclusion. He knew the necessities & duties of life far better than in a cowardly way to wish to shirk them, in order that he might loiter in the Temple, idle under the pretense of worship.

Nor would the saying fit into the facts of the case if we gave it that low meaning, for no person had his residence in the Temple.

And what follows in the next verse would, on that hypothesis, be entirely inappropriate.

‘In the secret of HIS tabernacle shall HE hide me.’

No one went into the secret place of the Most High, in the visible, material structure, except the High Priest once a year.

But this singer expects that his abode will be there always; & that, in time of trouble, he can find refuge there—in GOD’s Presence.

Apart altogether from any wider considerations as to relation between form & spirit under the Old Covenant, I think such observations compel us to see in these words— a desire a great deal nobler & deeper than any such wish.

I.] Unbroken Communion with GOD

Let us, then, note the true meaning of this aspiration of the Psalmist.

………………………………………………………………… Its fulfilment depends not on where we are, but on what we think & feel; for every place is GOD’s House, & what the Psalmist desires is that he should be able to keep up unbroken consciousness of being in GOD’s Presence & should be always in touch with HIM. …………………………………………………………………

That seems hard, & people say, ‘Impossible! How can I get above my daily work, & be perpetually thinking of GOD & HIS will, and consciously realising communion with HIM?’

But there is such a thing as having an undercurrent of consciousness running all through a man’s life & mind;

such a thing as having a melody sounding in our ears perpetually, ‘so sweet we know not we are listening to it’ until it stops, & then, by the poverty of the naked & silent atmosphere, we know how musical were the sounds that we scarcely knew that we heard, & yet did hear so well high above all the din of Earth’s noises.

Every man that has ever cherished such an aspiration as this knows the difficulties all too well.

And yet, without entering upon thorny and unprofitable questions as to whether the absolute, unbroken contin -uity of consciousness of being in GOD’s presence is possible for men here below, let us look at the question —which has a great deal more bearing upon our present condition-viz, whether a greater continuity of that consciousness is not possible than we attain to-day.

………………………………………………………………… It does seem to me to be a foolish & miserable waste of time & temper & energy for good people to be quarrelling about whether they can come to the absolute realisation of this desire in this world, when there is not one of them who is not leagues below the possible realisation of it, & knows that he is. …………………………………………………………………

At all events, whether or not the line can be drawn without a break at all, the breaks might be a great deal shorter & a great deal less frequent than they are.

An unbroken line of conscious communion with GOD is the ideal; & that is what this singer desired & worked for.

How many of my feelings & thoughts to-day, or of the things that I have said or done since I woke this morning, would have been done & said & felt exactly the same, if there were not a GOD at all, or if it did not matter in the least whether I ever came into touch with HIM or not?

Oh, dear friends! it is no vain effort to bring our lives a little nearer that unbroken continuity of communion with HIM of which this text speaks.

And GOD knows, & we each for ourselves know, how much & how sore our need is of such a union.

‘One thing have I desired, that will I seek after; that I, in my study; I, in my shop; I, in my parlour/kitchen/nursery; I, in my studio; I, in my lecture-hall-’may dwell in the House of the LORD all the days of my life.’

In our ‘FATHER’s House are many mansions.’

The room that we spend most of our lives in, each of us, at our tasks or our work-tables may be in our FATHER’s House, too; & it is only we that can secure that it shall be.

The inmost meaning of this Psalmist’s desire is that the consciousness of GOD shall be diffused throughout the whole of a man’s days, instead of being coagulated here & there at points.

The Australian rivers in a drought present a picture of the Christian life of far too many of us-a stagnant, stinking pool here, a stretch of blinding gravel there; another little drop of water a mile away, then a long line of foul-smelling mud, & then another shallow pond.

Why! it ought to run in a clear stream that has a scour in it & that will take all filth off the surface.

The Psalmist longed to break down the distinction between sacred & secular; to consecrate work, of whatsoever sort it was.

He had learned what so many of us need to learn far more thoroughly, that if our religion does not drive the wheels of our daily business, it is of little use; and that if the field in which our religion has power to control & impel is not that of the trivialities & secularities of our ordinary life, there is no field for it at all.

‘All the days of my life.’ Not only on Wednesday nights, while Tuesday & Thursday are given to the world & self; not only on Sundays; not for five minutes in the morning, when I am eager to get to my daily work, & less than five minutes at night, when I am half asleep, but through the long day, doing this, that, & the other thing for GOD & by GOD & with GOD, & making HIM the motive & the power of my course, & my Companion to Heaven. [Psalm 119]

And if we have, in our lives, things over which we cannot make the sign of the cross, the sooner we get rid of them the better; & if there is anything in our daily work or in our characters, about which we're doubtful, here's a good test:

1.] Does it seem to check our continual communion with GOD, as a ligature round the wrist might do the continual flow of the blood, or does it help us to realise HIS Presence?

If the former, let us have no more to do with it; if the latter, let us seek to increase it.

II.] Lay Claim to Protection Afforded Guests

And now let me say a word about the Psalmist’s reason for this aspiration.

The word which he employs carries with it a picture which is even more vividly given us by a synonymous word employed in same connection in some of the other psalms.

‘That I may dwell in the House of the LORD’

now, that is an allusion, not only, as I think, to the Temple, but also to the Oriental habit of giving a man who took refuge in the tent of the sheikh, guest-rites of protection & provision & friendship.

The habit exists to this day, & travellers among the Bedouins tell us lovely stories of how even an enemy with the blood of the closest relative of the owner of the tent on his hands, if he can once get in there & partake the salt of the host, is safe, & the first obligation of the owner of the tent is to watch over the life of the fugitive as over his own.

So the Psalmist says, ‘I desire to have guest-rites in THY tent; to lift up its fold, and shelter there from the heat of the desert.

And although I be dark & stained with many evils and transgressions against THEE, yet I come to claim the hospitality & provision & protection, and friendship which the laws of the house do bestow upon a guest.’

Carrying out substantially the same idea, Paul tells the Ephesians, as if it were the very highest privilege that the Gospel brought to the Gentiles:

‘Ye are no more strangers, but fellow-citizens with the saints, & of the household of GOD’; incorporated into HIS family, & dwelling safely in HIS pavilion.

………………………………………………………………… That is to say, the blessedness of keeping up such a continual consciousness of touch with GOD is, first & foremost, the certainty of infallible protection. …………………………………………………………………

Oh! How it minimises all trouble & brightens all joys, & calms amidst all distractions, & steadies & sobers in all circumstances, to feel ever the hand of GOD upon us!

He who goes through life, finding that, when he has trouble to meet, it throws him back on GOD, & that when bright mornings of joy drive away nights of weeping, these wake morning songs of praise, & are

brightest because they shine with the light of a FATHER’s love, will never be unduly moved by any vicissitudes of fortune.

Like some inland & sheltered valley, with great mountains shutting it in, that ‘heareth not the loud winds when they call’ beyond the barriers that enclose it, our lives may be tranquilly free from distraction, & may be full of peace, of nobleness, & of strength, on condition of our keeping in GOD’s House all the days of our lives.

There is another blessing that will come to the dweller in GOD’s House, & that not a small one.

It is that, by the power of this one satisfied longing, driven like an iron rod through all the tortuosities of my life, there will come into it a unity which otherwise few lives are ever able to attain, & the want of which is no small cause of the misery that is great upon men.

Most of us seem, to our own consciousness, to live amidst endless distractions all our days, & our lives to be a heap of links parted from each other rather than a chain. [???]

But if we have that one constant thought with us, & if we are, through all the variety of occupations, true to the one purpose of serving & keeping near GOD, then we have a charm against the frittering away of our lives in distractions, & the misery of multiplicity;

& we enter into the blessedness of unity & singleness of purpose; & our lives become, like the starry Heavens in all the variety of their motions, obedient to one impulse.

For unity in a life does not depend upon the monotony of its tasks, but upon the simplicity of the motive which impels to all varieties of work.

So it is possible for a man harassed by multitudinous avocations, & drawn hither and thither by sometimes apparently conflicting & always bewildering, rapidly- following duties, to say,

‘This one thing I do,’ if all HIS doings are equally acts of obedience to GOD.

III. Singular Desire: Focused

Note the method by which this desire is realised.

‘One thing have I desired, . . . that will I seek after’ There are two points to be kept in view to that end.

A great many people say, ‘One thing have I desired,’ and fail in persistent continuousness of the desire.

No man gets rights of residence in GOD’s house for a longer time than he continues to seek for them.

The most advanced of us, & those that have longest been like Anna, who ‘departed not from the Temple,’ day/night, will certainly eject ourselves unless, like the Psalmist, we use the verbs in both tenses, & say,

‘One thing have I desired . . . that will I seek after.’

John Bunyan saw that there was a back door to the lower regions close by the gates of the Celestial City.

There may be men who have long lived beneath the shadow of the sanctuary and at the last will be found outside the gates.

But the words of the text not only suggest, by the two tenses of the verbs, the continuity of the desire which is destined to be granted — but also by the two verbs themselves-desire and seek after-the necessity of uniting prayer & work.

Many desires are unsatisfied because conduct doesn’t correspond to desires.

Many a prayer remains unanswered because its pray -ers never do anything to fulfil their prayers.

I do not say they are hypocrites; certainly they are not consciously so, but I do say that there is a large measure of conventionality that means nothing, in the prayers of average Christian people for more holiness & likeness to Jesus CHRIST.

Dear friends! if we truly wish this desire of dwelling in the House of the LORD to be fulfilled, the day’s work must run in the same direction as the morning’s petition, & we must, like the Psalmist, say,

‘I have desired it of the LORD, so I, for my part, will seek after it.’ Then, whether or not we reach absolutely to the standard, which is none the less to be aimed at, though it seems beyond reach, we shall arrive nearer & nearer to it;

And, GOD helping our weakness & increasing our strength, quickening us to ‘desire,’ & upholding us to ‘seek after,’ we may hope that, when the days of our life are past,

we shall but remove into an upper chamber, more open to the sunrise & flooded with light; & shall go no more out, but ‘dwell in the House of the LORD for ever.’

#Psalm 27:4 #pretense of worship

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messers-moony · 3 years

Text

Moony and Midnight | R.L

Paring: Young!Remus Lupin X Fem!Reader

Summary: Remus beings to realize that Moony is controlling his life even on non full moon nights so he decides to make his first Remus decision.

“What- What do you mean you’re done with me?” Remus asked nervously while his friends sat in the back corner of the library in case of something terrible happening, “Exactly what I said.” The girl - Brooklyn Mendoza - snapped.

Remus was hurting, “But why?”

“Are you daft, Remus Lupin? You’re a bloody monster!”

The four Marauders grimaced at the sickly words falling from Brooklyn’s mouth, “But don’t worry. I won't tell anyone.”

Y/n didn’t like the condescending tone the Ravenclaw used. Carefully without James, Sirius, or Peter noticing, she grabbed her wand. Close enough to the person in order to cast a spell. Y/n held out her wand and waved it, speaking the incantation in her head. Suddenly, Brooklyn changed demeanors. Brooklyn looked aimlessly around the library, making Remus furrow his eyebrows, but she left without another word. Her long brown hair was flying behind, and her blue eyes glazed.

“What did you just do?” Sirius whispered, “Obliviated her.” Y/n answered as she pocketed her wand.

“Are you bloody mental?” James queried.

“I'm protecting, Remus.”

“If that’s what you call it.” Sirius scoffed playfully.

Y/n elbowed him hard, “Oi!”

Remus’ head was downcast as he walked towards the table, holding his four best friends. The Marauders were there in case of something like this. Best scenario Brooklyn accepted him for who he was. In the worst scenario, she ripped his heart to pieces. Sadly, it was the latter. The chair in front of them moved sluggishly as Remus sat down. Tears filled his eyes.

He began to speak, “Before you speak, what she said isn’t true. You aren’t a monster.” Sirius interrupted.

“You’re Remus, the guy who lets us copy his history notes from.” James added, “The guy who gives me annotated books.” Y/n smiled.

“The guy who never makes me feel left out.” Peter finished, and Remus chuckled bitterly, “Wish she could’ve seen that.”

Y/n grabbed his hand from across the table, “She doesn’t deserve you. You aren’t a monster.”

Remus bit his lip. His closest friends watched as he tried to mask his hurt. Y/n rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand. James’ pleading hazel eyes bared into his green ones. Sirius’ blue-grey eyes doing the same, while Peter’s blue ones looked sympathetic. Y/n’s e/c eyes held every bit of care and love he craved. The comfort that she would always be there for him. The belonging James would present him with. The happiness Sirius always brought to his heart. The devotion Peter always appeared to give him. The Marauders would be there, and that made this more bearable.

The next few days sucked. Remus sulked and seemed to be sluggish, but his friends were always at his side. During library studying sessions, Y/n would bring him food and his favorite tea. Sirius would do extravagant tricks on his broom during Quidditch to make Remus chuckle at his idiotic best friend. James provided his undivided attention to him. Sometimes Remus would find pieces of ripped parchment in his textbooks in the famous James Potter scrabble with reassuring words. Peter would offer his sweets to Remus, which was a very un-Peter thing to do.

Recently Remus found comfort in the top of the Astronomy Tower. After his prefect rounds, he would make his way up to the metal attachment of the castle and stare at the moon. The beloved sphere people adored but that Remus loathed. He couldn’t comprehend what was so special about it. People spoke wonders about the famous grey sphere in the sky, but Remus saw it as it was - a grey sphere. He saw it as an enemy. Perhaps that was the problem.

“Maybe…” A voice began, “Instead of withholding Moony, you should embrace it.”

Remus turned his head to his left, meeting the familiar profile of his best friend who stared at the moon, “When- When did you-“

“Come on; you haven’t turned daft, have you? You forget we basically made the Marauders map together.” Y/n chuckled, turning to him, “That would’ve been a title.” Remus’ lips quirked up.

“Moony and Midnight.”

“Come on, doesn’t that sound awesome?!” Y/n exclaimed happily, her comforting e/c eyes gleaming in the moonlight.

“It does sound rather intriguing.”

Y/n nudged his shoulder playfully, looking back out at the sky, “Too bad Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail ruin the cover.”

The silence filled the tower again. Remus took his gaze back to the sky, but he couldn’t help but want to stare at her again. The moonlight was beautiful on her skin. It was ethereal. Her eyes seemed to light up just the tiniest bit, and sparkles filled the e/c. Y/n’s hair appeared smooth and silky. He almost wanted to run his hand through it. Maybe he could - if he just inched closer.

Before he could, she spoke, “Why do you think you’re a monster?”

“Are you daft?”

“No, just curious.”

“I can kill people, Y/n.”

Y/n shrugged, “So could I, with the right motivation, that is.” She winked jokingly.

“No, I mean literally.” Remus reiterated, “I’m dangerous, and I can’t control myself.”

“Werewolves are beautiful.” Y/n stated, making Remus narrow his eyes, “They’re intriguing. You’ve never hurt me before. You’ve never hurt the guys before. You’re losing yourself.”

“Losing myself?” Remus queried incredulously.

“Yeah, you’re letting Moony make your decisions even if he isn’t present. Perhaps instead of Moony making those decisions, you should let Remus make them.” Y/n explained, “You guard yourself like a monster when you aren’t one.”

“Moony doesn’t define who you are. Remus does. Remus is the one making the lifelong decisions, or he should be. Instead, you’re letting Moony control your life, your love life, your future.” Y/n turned to look at his eyes, “You’re losing yourself, Remus.”

Remus hadn’t thought about it like that. Maybe he was letting Moony rule his life. Obviously, it was shown through his actions if his friends were starting to notice. It was scary. Without realizing it, he let the monster take over his body and make decisions for him. It made him think about all the times he wanted to do something but denied because of his condition. Perhaps Y/n was right.

“Well, can- can you be my first Remus decision?”

Y/n tilted her head, “What do you mean?”

“Be my first Remus decision,” Remus repeated as a blush took over his features.

“Gladly.”

Now he moved those inches closer. Remus’ hand reached to move the silky hair from her face. Leaving that hand to cup her cheek. His other hand was placing itself on her waist as his lips embraced hers. Y/n’s arms went around his neck as Remus allowed his lips to move against hers slowly and gently. When they pulled apart, Remus and Y/n made eye contact. It was a silent promise - Remus wouldn't let Moony control him anymore. Instead, he’d embrace him. Moony and Remus would become one instead of two different people.

“Moony and Midnight.” Remus whispered.

“Forever?”

“Forever, my love.”

906 notes · View notes

alister312 · 2 years

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@hellsonlyrose you and me both my dude oh my god..... thank u for replying to this and giving me an excuse to gush.......

while i think every single person should be subjected to Gregory and Christophe and my headcanons on them, i’m gonna put my thoughts below the cut bc i want to be polite

Gregstophe when sick

So I think that they have very different reactions to one another being sick. I really really love the headcanon of Gregory being a doctor (or at least having significant medical training) so I think he notices immediately when Christophe is starting to get even a little sick. Aside from being worried about his partner because he loves him, he definitely knows that Christophe would get pissed as hell if he wasn’t in peak physical condition for an extended period of time. So Gregory really puts his foot down and forces Christophe to do bed rest, drink fluids, vitamin C tablets, etc. Christophe definitely fought this when they were younger, but Gregory’s determination for him to be Not Sick can get kinda scary if he pushes him away for too long. He’s come to accept that Gregory knows best because, in that case, he does.

When Gregory is sick, on the other hand, he’s very good at feigning being well and self-medicating enough to still be productive. But he overcompensates when sick and definitely pushes himself past his limits and ends up worse than before. Christophe hates that he does this, but he’s not good at picking up on Gregory’s sickness until it reaches this point. When it does, though, Christophe is very attentive. He doesn’t have medical training like Gregory, but he knows what Gregory does when he’s sick so he copies that. He also looks stuff up, asks Gregory what he thinks he needs, or asks friends for advice. He probably cooks a lot of soups bc he’s the type to think that good soup cures anything. Christophe definitely also lectures Gregory about how he can’t keep doing this shit but it’s a loving lecture.

Favorite tiny details about one another

Christophe’s favorite little detail about Gregory always gives him little touches to let him know he’s there. If he’s passing behind Christophe in the kitchen, as he’s sitting down next to him, when he crawls into bed, during a mission of some kind... it’s just a little arm or shoulder touch. Just Gregory making Christophe aware of his presence but Christophe loves that. I, like most Christophe fans, headcanon that his mother is uhhhhhhhh not the best. Personally I like the idea that Christophe was homeschooled and therefore cut off from anyone other than her, except for Gregory. Christophe definitely worried that eventually that would be taken from him too and it caused him a lot of silent anxiety. Gregory was and still is Christophe’s lifeline and they both know that, even if they never say it out loud. That’s why Gregory subconsciously always lets him know he’s there, he’s still there and hasn’t left and never will.

Gregory’s favorite detail about Christophe is that he hums when doing literally anything. It stops if they need to do something stealthy, though sometimes he hums very quietly anyways. I think Christophe is very self conscious about his singing, but he loves music (you have to, with Gregory as your partner). Gregory wishes Christophe would actually sing more, but the reserved nature of humming does suit him better. Plus, Gregory turns it into a bit of a challenge for himself because he’s extra. Whenever he catches Christophe humming, he sees how many bars it takes for him guess what the song is. He’s very good at guessing and Christophe is surprised every time Gregory says “Are you humming [song]?” Gregory also definitely likes the reaction he gets from saying that to Christophe because he’s either dumbstruck or flustered that Gregory 1) noticed him humming and 2) knew what the song was. And Christophe’s got that classic hardcore Catholic Repression so it’s not often that he shows his emotions like that.

Favorite music

A beautiful transition, if I do say so myself, going from humming into music. So Gregory is definitely a performer at heart, so he LOVES all music. If it’s in his vocal range, he knows about it and has performed it at karaoke or any other chance he gets to sing. He’s definitely more into ballads than anything else, but he can appreciate all kinds of music. Though I don’t think he’s a huge fan of rap because it shows off his singing abilities the least. Gregory loves jazz though. If he ever has a slower day, he’ll put on jazz and sing along to it.

I really like the idea that Christophe can play instruments. He was taught piano growing up so he could play in church and, while he hates that that’s why he knows how to play, he picks up on playing any other instruments easily because of it. He doesn’t really play casually, but he knows how everything works, so he likes when songs do something instrumentally interesting. Or if they include weird instruments but do it well. He appreciates the craftsmanship. Christophe also really likes any song with heavy bass because if he’s mad he can crank it high and let the sound kind of reverberate through him. That’s very calming to him.

#i do not know how to condense myself but darling i dont want to when it comes to them #south park #sp headcanons #south park ships #gregory of yardale #christophe delorne #gregstophe #sp gregstophe

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shijiujun · 3 years

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[END 2020] My Top 9 Danmei Novel Picks of the Year

As a part of my Round Up post for the year, here’s my pick of favourite danmei novels, that I’ve read! This is sort of an accompaniment to my previous danmei rec list over HERE, so there may be one or two overlaps, but I’ve read WAY MORE after that and am prepared to like give more options here

Note: There should be English translations for all via novel updates if you do a search of the English name, but I don’t think most of them are completed.

If you wanna see my full reading and queue list (it’s all in Chinese tho, for my own records), it’s here.

I’m leaving out the usual MXTX and Priest ones, because they’re already good and we all know that and there’re many carrds and posts dedicated to them.

I am also a sucker for fainting but smart men, and not too overly angsty/complicated storylines, just putting it out there first, which is why I haven’t read a lot of some of the ones on my queue list.

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1. 一剑霜寒 | A Sword of Frost by 语笑阑珊

Summary: Jing Yan Ran is the Emperor’s brother and wields military power in the novel, and it starts with an object being stolen from the palace. Jing Yan Ran has to retrieve the item secretly, and so enlists the help of Feng Yu Sect’s Sect Master, Yun Yi Feng, who heads the martial arts world’s one and only information trading post. Yun Yi Feng does not deal in business that involves any royalty, but Jing Yan Ran offers him something he cannot refuse - the Blood Red Lingzhi, a rare and mystical herb that is rumoured to be able to treat his life-threatening condition.

Yun Yi Feng was used by his shifu when he was younger to test out all kinds of poisons and cures, and since then, his body flushes dangerously hot and cold frequently, with bouts of severe coughing fits in between. Throughout the first mission where he spends time with Jing Yan Ran searching for the stolen object, he allows Jing Yan Ran to take care of him, and they fall in LURVE pretty much like 10 chapters in.

Of course, they have to uncover a plot and conspiracy against their enemies who are plotting to dethrone the Emperor, and also reveal the secrets of Yun Yi Feng’s birth.

My Thoughts: AN ABSOLUTE FAVE AND GEM, I’d say this is my favourite danmei novel ever. This is both hilarious and tears-inducing, to be honest, because for most of the novel YYF knows he doesn’t have long to live and so in the beginning he knows of his own feelings for JYR and JYR also shows him that he loves him, but he is unable to officially reciprocate because he knows his body is like weakening day by day. Halfway through the fear that he’s literally about to die as they are JUST about to find the cure is real, and damn I cried so much at that. Some highlights:

YYF falls asleep very easily in baths and everywhere actually, and pretty much within the first 10 chapters he gets used to JYR carrying him around (even naked from the bath, he’s like oh well, okay cool) and taking care of him, and JYR ALWAYS makes sure he is warm and toasty under his cape

YYF LOVESSSS RICHES, PLAYING THE ZITHER AND COOKING - He’s good at gathering the first one, but he FUCKING SUCKS AS THE LAST TWO - It’s so funny because he’s so beautiful and handsome right, and when he sits down at the zither everyone is like OH DAMN WHAT A DREAM- and then he plays, and everyone’s fantasies is shattered, he’s ABYSMAL at it, and the same goes for cooking

JYR doesn’t actually have the Blood Red Lingzhi, and throughout the first arc, he feels SO DAMN GUILTY because YYF even carved out a pendant that looks like what he thinks the herb looks like, and like carries it with him everywhere LMAO

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

2. 高能二维码 | High Energy QR Code by 青色羽翼

Summary: CEO Xing Ye’s brother Xing Shuo has just passed away at the age of 24, and nothing will make him believe that Xing Shuo died of natural causes despite autopsies and experts telling him that he really died simply of a heart failure. Xing Ye, who has impeccable memory, suddenly recalls the last time he saw Xing Shuo. His brother called out to him just before Xing Ye left for a business trip, and looked as if he had something to say, but ended up just wishing him a safe trip.

At that moment, there was a QR code on Xing Shuo’s phone, and the phone screen was strangely turned out towards Xing Ye, and Xing Ye, with his incredibly high IQ and memory, realizes that Xing Shuo wanted him to see the QR code. Quickly, he reproduces the QR code by pen and then scans it, and finds himself in a game world.

There he meets a narcissistic but also cute mirror which can speak, and finds out later that his name is Lu Ming Ze. Xing Ye’s mission is to clear the game missions in each round that is set by the black and white cubic game system, a system that continuously tempts its players into giving in to committing sins such as killing someone else, stealing and other things. He soon realizes that if he cannot stay on a path clear of these sins, he will never be able to triumph over the game system and return Lu Ming Ze back to his body in the real world.

At the same time, he gains new teammates and friends for life, and also finds out what role his brother played in this game.

My Thoughts: MY GOD I LOVE THIS. I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED READING THIS YESTERDAY, and honestly it’s one of my faves. I don’t like game systems very often (I’ve read three others so far, and this, and KOD are the only ones I’ve liked) but this one is *chef’s kiss*. So LMZ was born like with a really handsome face, like SUPER HANDSOME, and that’s why he’s like a harmless narcissist that cannot bear to look at ugly things LMAO, but he’s not spoilt, he makes sure that Xing Ye stays true to himself, and help him keep his head clear.

THE ONLY THING ABOUT THIS FRICKIN NOVEL IS THAT LU MING ZE STAYS A MIRROR, LIKE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MIRRORS, in the first TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS. I KID YOU NOT. I FRICKIN KID YOU NOT. I swear I was sooo touched starved at the end of the novel, because they couldn’t even kiss?!! Like Xing Ye kisses the mirror, and then uses his thumbs to like hi-five mini LMZ in the mirror back, they can’t even hug. Do you know how empty my arms felt when I read this book?!! And my arms have never been filled!!!!!!

I really like this one because each game world is set up in such a brilliant way, but it’s not so unnecessarily complex that you literally don’t know what the fuck is going on. Xing Ye’s intelligence as he outmanoeuvres every single one of his enemies and convinces his would-be loyal teammates to trust him is so satisfying, world after world, victory after victory.

Humour is also absolutely ON POINT. A lot of it is centred on Xing Ye getting caught in the real world kissing his handheld mirror (LMZ) by LMZ’s parents (who cannot see him in the mirror) and LMZ’s parents going like ???!!!!!!!!

Available: Novel Online | Physical Novel is coming out on 10 Dec (freebies are, you guessed it, a mirror)

3. 妻为上 | The Wife is First by 绿野千鹤

Summary: This is set in a historical setting where men can marry other men, but it’s usually reserved for sons who were not borne by the official main first wife of the patriarch of the family, i.e. a son born by a concubine in a family may be forced to marry a man to keep him from being able to become the next family’s patriarch for example. This is because any family’s next leader needs to be able to have children with a wife who married in as a zheng shi (lawful wife), and not a ce shi (second wife) or any other concubines/mistresses etc. Most of these men who marry other men have to take them as their zheng shi and lawful spouse in a sense, and the same goes for the royal family.

The story starts with third prince Jing Shao, who was forced to marry Mu Han Zhang, a Marquis’ second son, by the Empress and Emperor, thereby officially and effectively cutting him out of the race for the throne. He’s mocked by the public as everyone knows what this means, and for the next 10 years, he neglects Mu Han Zhang, blaming him for his predicament, and deliberately showers his three other concubines with affection in front of him, but 10 years later, when Jing Shao is accused of treason, everyone leaves him except for Mu Han Zhang. They are chased to the edge of the cliff by soldiers, and Mu Han Zhang dies in his arms having taken an arrow meant for him earlier, and Jing Shao jumps off the cliff with his dead body, and promises that if there’s a next life, he will do everything Han Zhang says, and love him.

He wakes up immediately on the night of his marriage with Han Zhang, and realizes that he’s been given a second chance to make everything right. Han Zhang is definitely afraid of him, humiliated and angry when he first wakes up after how rough Jing Shao was with him earlier on their wedding night, and he has no memories of their past life. Jing Shao then sets to SHOWER HAN ZHANG with affection, love and basically everything, because he realized that this is the only person who stayed by his side until the end, and then he falls in love with Han Zhang properly this time, and also deals with every single person who maligned and schemed against him in his previous life, with Han Zhang by his side.

My Thoughts: OKAY BEFORE YALL GO INTO THE ‘WIFE’ terminology discourse and everything, in this case they do use the term ‘wife’ literally, and it’s a position, that while men frequently fall into (there are a lot of male ‘wives’ in this story), is also used to cut off like sons from inheriting the family and the fortune, and even titles. Male ‘wives’ aren’t looked down upon in this setting, in fact, Han Zhang gets a lot of leeway as one, and in his case he was also able to rise up the ranks to be an actual official later on, but the sad thing comes from sons who are most of the time forced to marry a male ‘wife’ for whatever reason, and then they are neglected as the son goes and find concubines, women he actually wants to sleep with - this is sad af yall. I don’t know, on one hand, yay for equality in marriage in this setting, but on the other hand like, damn, must you use same-sex marriage like that argh.

ANYWAY THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVES TOO?!!! I mean, especially when Jing Shao literally just goes into doting mode 200% and Han Zhang is totally like wtf why is he so nice to me is he scheming or something? And then he realizes that Jing Shao is really, really gentle towards him despite his reputation as a cruel, dark military commander, and Jing Shao always smiles at him. In any situation, especially in the beginning, when Han Zhang thought Jing Shao would not stand with him, Jing Shao literally just protects him no matter what, gives him everything, and cries, I love it.

Especially because Han Zhang is the son of a concubine and he was bullied a lot in the Mu family, and the official Lady Mu married him off to Jing Shao in hopes that he would be unhappy for the rest of his life, and I suppose that came true in the first life, but in the second, Han Zhang gets all the love, respect and support he never got before in this family with Jing Shao and that makes me WEEP.

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Kuaikan

4. 死亡万花筒 Kaleidoscope of Death by 西子绪

OOOH I intro-ed KOD here in my previous rec list. Still one of my faves and all-time re-reads, especially under the covers in the dark hehehe.

5. 你的距离 | Your Distance by 公子优

Summary: Ting Shuang is a student at a German university, and has this handsome professor Bai Chang Yi who he swears kind of hates him. He’s just broken up with his longtime boyfriend, and then goes on this dating app that matches a profile with him based on distance. The app can also show the matched profile’s distance from him once they enter the same area, and Ting Shuang starts chatting with this Chinese guy on the app, who he finds out later, is 36 years old, 187cm in height and wears glasses.

The guy is a little aloof and cool, very mature in his replies on the app, and somehow Bai Chang Yi finds out who he is later, as Ting Shuang starts complaining to him about his professor to Bai Chang Yi. Instead of getting angry and offended, BCY is pretty much amused and finds Ting Shuang cute. A few days later Ting Shuang finally realizes who it is he’s been texting, and after getting past the initial embarrassment and fear, they start dating for real, and they really fall in love!!!!!

My Thoughts: This is sweet and also hilarious af, if you need to like satisfy your sweet tooth, this is definitely one for you. It’s really funny because Bai Chang Yi runs in the same circles as Ting Shuang’s dad, who he’s estranged from because the dad doesn’t want to recognize a son who is gay, and then BCY convinces him later in the funniest of ways, and there’s a small subplot at the end in which Ting Shuang is pretty cool, and yep, short and sweet! BCY in the manhua is handsome af too guys ;-;

Available: Novel Online, Audio Drama on Maoer FM and Manhua on Bilibili,

6. 神木挠不尽 The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post by 绿野千鹤

Summary: Mo Tian Liao, a weapons forger and master who ruled the Demon Tribe, was hunted down and killed by other righteous sects in the region when he managed to forge an incredibly destructive weapon that could end the world. Before he died, he placed the only thing he loved, a white cat, into a hole in the tree behind him to protect it. The only thing he was grateful for was that he did not create a blood pact with the cat, Xiao Mao, because if he had done so, when he died, Xiao Mao would have died along with him as well.

Right before he dies, unbeknownst to him, Xiao Mao who is no simple demonic cat, wraps part of his consciousness around Mo Tian Liao, and MTL’s spirit ends up floating about for 300 years, until he finds a suitable time to return with a body made out of a special tree and its wood. The first thing he does, of course, is to find his white cat, but he’s poor, and the body he has isn’t powerful, so he joins Wo Yun Sect, the only sect that did not hunt him down that day hundreds of years ago.

There, he is chosen by Qing Tong shizun to be his direct disciple, much to the astonishment of other shizuns in the sect, and Qing Tong’s shixiongs. MTL has never seen a person as beautiful and gorgeous as his shizun, and if only he could find that cat (who’s actually his shizun, who recognizes him and protects him, even if MTL doesn’t actually need much protection).

My Thoughts: This was hilarious as well, and so romantic?!!! Qing Tong/Xiao Mao waited for MTL to come back, and the moment he came back, Qing Tong was there ready to grab him, and then before he went to sleep that night, Qing Tong thought to himself, “I’ve gotten my person back, I can sleep well now” and AHHHHH at this point they weren’t even like a couple yet? MTL ‘kidnapped’ Qing Tong when he was a young demon cat by accident because he likes pretty things (like his shizun lmao) and Qing Tong is attached to him because MTL never forced a blood pact on him, and gave him everything he wanted as a younger cat before MTL died. Gosh, a mirror in #2 and then a cat now with this one. XD

Available: Novel Online

7. 破云 | Breaking the Clouds by 淮上

Summary: Three years ago, Captain Jiang Ting and his team of the Narcotics division perished in an explosion due to a wrong call of his, and he returns three years later under a new identity ready to deal with the people who set him and his team up. He’s caught in what seems to be a simple murder case almost immediately and meets Yan Xie, who’s Vice Captain and in charge of this case. Yan Xie realizes who Jiang Ting is shortly after, and begins to unravel the huge mystery surrounding the events of three years ago, and falls in love with Jiang Ting along the way as well.

My Thoughts: Okay out of the FOUR crime/detective/thriller danmei novels I’ve read, the poyun and tunhai (below) series is the one that MIRRORS actual narcotics division and undercovers the best. It has the complexity and depth of the drugs/narcotics world, and both this one and its sequel focuses a lot on the position of an undercover and mole. I liked this one a lot because there are SOOOO many twists especially in the last arc, like you honestly won’t see any of them coming until it hits you? And Yan Xie is such a confident, rich-ass narcissist, and he keeps asking Jiang Ting if he can “just touch” him ONCE lmao, he’s thick-skinned af, but that’s why he and Jiang Ting are so compatible ;-;.

Available: Novel Online, Novel Print, Audio Drama and Manhua on Bilibili

8. 吞海 | Swallowing the Sea by 淮上

Summary: Sequel to Po Yun. Yu Wu is a young-looking new detective under Captain Bu Chong Hua’s narcotics team. Bu Chong Hua is Yan Xie’s cousin by actual relation, but brother in relationship because BCH’s parents died early and Yan Xie’s parents have been taking care of him mostly. He cannot stand Yu Wu, who seems to want to coast through at work and keep to a 9-5 work schedule.

It’s only after an altercation and Yu Wu dumping his nonchalant facade to snarl at BCH that he realizes that YW is actually more interesting and mysterious than he thought, and he begins to try to get close to him, understand him. It turns out that Yu Wu is a famous undercover who nearly died a year ago during an operation, and due to various reasons, he was assigned to BCH’s team by higher ups so he can peacefully live the rest of his life out there. However, his past catches up with him quickly, and his enemies turning up forces him to rely on BCH.

With BCH, Yu Wu’s resentment of having to be an undercover in the past and being so easily discarded by his team’s leaders, and of him being forced to be in the shadows while others can announce their achievements to the world, is slowly erased, because BCH sees him, knows him, and understands him more than anyone else.

My Thoughts: I actually liked this one better than the first one - Yu Wu is such a pouty, angry little thing?! And for good reason (there’s a bit of cannibalism in the book, not by choice when he was younger and in a poor village in Cambodia, where some militants forced survivors in the village to eat the meat of boiled corpses of other villagers, so YW is a vegetarian, like if he eats meat he gets really sick) and the twists here are even more amazing?! BCH really, really, devotes himself to YW the moment he realizes how much he likes him, doing a 180 degree turn. Instead of Yan Xie’s flamboyance, BCH is much steadier, grouchy, like an old uncle, but also looks at things even more clearly than Yan Xie does sometimes. Yu Wu is understandably bitter about what he had to go through, and BCH is the ONLY person who can calm him down, whom he listens to, which I LOVE. Some highlights:

Yu Wu grew up in a poor village and thus loves money, and he fights in underground betting rings to earn more money - The stash of hidden money he collects I think is half for his escape money, but if he happens to never need it, his dream is to donate the money to his village so they can open up a school there - ANYWAY because Yan Xie’s parents, and technically BCH’s ‘parents’ are soooooo rich right, Yan Xie’s mom shows her approval to her son-in-laws (Jiang Ting first, then Yu Wu), by giving them winter pants. It’s kind of like inside warmers, and usually meant for older ladies to wear LOLOL so Yu Wu was like staring at the pants when he finally got them and looked soooo reluctant until Jiang Ting told him it costs $6,000 AND HE WAS LIKE :333333 okie

He acts a lot like a kid?!! He likes eating like some snack but it’s really unhealthy for him, and BCH the mother hen keeps catching him in weird places like the toilet, where he’s hiding from BCH so he can eat his fave snack?! And the whole police station knows not to give YW what he wants in terms of snacks and smokes because once BCH finds out, he makes life very difficult for them HAHAHAHA

9. 穿成反派如何活命 | How to Survive as A Villain by 伊依以翼

Summary: Rich and handsome CEO Xiao Yu An finds out he has a terminal illness (cancer), and dies while he’s reading this online novel, where a king mistreats the crown prince from a neighbouring state which sent him over as hostage after losing a war, and ends up being killed by the crown prince years later (SVSSS much?!). He wakes up AS THE KING, and afraid of dying, he immediately goes about befriending the prince, Yan He Qing. Yan He Qing falls in love with Xiao Yu An while being his friend/hostage/bodyguard, and Xiao Yu An tries to avoid all the deaths he read in the book, while making sure Yan He Qing manages to find his three/four wives, including Xiao Yu An’s sister.

Of course, because Xiao Yu An showed him warmth and kindness, Yan He Qing ends up falling for him instead, and Xiao Yu An is an absolute oblivious idiot because he REALLY doesn’t realize until much later. Yan He Qing ends up declaring war on Xiao Yu An’s kingdom because he is duty bound to do so, but doesn’t hurt Xiao Yu An, wanting to keep him by his side, but YHQ’s scheming uncle drives a wedge between them, and XYA leaves, breaking YHQ’s heart.

They meet again a few years later, where XYA is training to be a physician in a small village and chances upon a severely injured YHQ. There, he realizes that it was all a misunderstanding, and that YHQ actually LIKES, LIKES him, but before they can enjoy this short period of happiness, disaster strikes again.

My Thoughts: THIS WAS really enjoyable, and with the manhua visuals, it is *chef’s kiss*. I think this transmigration version actually delved into the part where XYA is unable to change everything, and if he saves one person, someone else is destined to die, and that moral dilemma devastates him a lot. In this novel he actually transmigrates TWICE, once into the king’s body, and the second time into a neighbouring state’s prince/king’s body, who looks exactly like his modern self after. YHQ is real sweet to him istg, and I like that the epilogues are SUPER EXTENSIVE, including an arc where YHQ and XYA transmigrate back to the real world and everyone who died is alive and close to them, and gets their happy ending ;-;

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

#danmei rec list #stebeee recs #a sword of frost #your distance #swallowing the sea #breaking the clouds #kaleidoscope of death #High Energy QR Code #How to Survive as A Villain #The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post

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makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 294: A Half-Assed Escape

Previously on BnHA: Mirio was all “SURPRISE I’M BACK THANKS TO OUR RESIDENT SEVEN-YEAR-OLD WHO RECENTLY EARNED HER BACHELOR’S OF BEING A TOTAL BADASS.” Kacchan was all, “you know what, Dabi’s been trending long enough, time to remind the fandom what a real G looks like,” and he blasted his little bleeding body back into the fray and was all “FROM HERE ON OUT CALL ME DYNAMIGHT!!” Mirio was all, “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... oh, you’re serious,” and Kacchan was all “!!”, and so that’s the story of how my son got murdered twice in one day. Meanwhile in the Todoroki Drama Zone, Deku was all “STOP MURDERING MY FRIEND” and Dabi was all “THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” and fandom had a whole big debate about Whether Or Not Dabi Trying To Murder Deku’s Friends And Mentors Is Any Of Deku’s Business, which went exactly how you think it went. Anyway, so then Deku yelled at Dabi, and Endeavor was all moved by his manly words and randomly went to go uppercut Machia in the chin. And, seeing as how the Momoserum finally chose that exact moment to kick in, Machia is now down for the count.

Today on BnHA: The Miriosquad handles the Nearly High End Noumus, freeing up Jeanist to jasphyxiate (okay that one doesn’t really work so well) the rest of the League. Compress is all “TIME FOR THIS MILD-MANNERED SIDE CHARACTER VILLAIN TO SHINE”, except that by “shine” what he actually means is “use his quirk to punch a literal hole right through his own ass to free himself.” The rest of the chapter is basically just a back and forth between him and Jeanist, with Jeanist trying to recapture him, and Compress repeatedly thwarting him by chopping more holes out of himself because HE’S FRESH OUT OF FUCKS, AND THE ONES AT THE STORE ARE ALL SOLD OUT, MOTHERFUCKERS. Anyway, so with Compress basically dying and all, Horikoshi is all “you know what that means”, and delivers a freshly-baked villain flashback revealing that Compress is a descendant of Harima Ouji, a.k.a. the Peerless Thief, a.k.a. some famous guy whom Gentle mentioned this one time for like two seconds back in the day. The chapter ends with Compress finally demasking himself and dumping Tomura back onto the ground, a.k.a. The Worst Possible Place For Tomura To Be. ( •﹏•)

WHY IS CRUST HERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

-- OH WAIT, SHIT. OH

AIZAWAAAA you’re alive and receiving medical help thank GOD. HOW MANY EYES DO YOU HAVE. AND MIRKO!! HOW MANY LIMBS DO YOU HAVE, OMG

so is this Aizawa dreaming about Crust’s final moments, then?? jesus. with All Due Respect to Crust’s memory, does Aizawa not already have enough misplaced guilt on his conscience as it is?? “nope, we’re gonna keep piling it on. that’s all he is now. three limbs, an indeterminate number of eyes, sexy hair, and Guilt” well shit

motherfucker y’all really out here placing an oxygen mask on Gran Torino’s corpse. fucking shounen characters. each one comes with a lifetime warranty

DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI WHY DO YOU KEEP SHOWING THESE CLOSE-UPS OF HAWKS’S UNCONSCIOUS FACE ALL WHUMPED OUT AND EXHAUSTED. HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS ARE WE GOING TO GET. ARE YOU PLANNING ON KILLING ME WITH THE UPCOMING CONVALESCENCE ARC, BECAUSE IF SO, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME AHEAD OF TIME SO I CAN MAKE A WILL

for a moment I considered going back and checking my previous recaps to count how many times I’ve already made a joke about Dabi’s fire incinerating Hawks’s wings but not touching so much as a hair on his five o’clock shadow, so that I could calculate whether or not I could possibly get away with making that same joke one more time. but then I realized I could just do it in this kind of roundabout way I’m doing right now instead. so there you have it

FFFFFFFMT LADY AND MIDNIGHT NOOOOO

PLEASE BE ALIVE. PLEASE RESPECT THE SIGN ON THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING. THE ONE THAT SAYS “NO LADY CHARACTERS ALLOWED TO DIE”, WITH THE FINE PRINT AT THE BOTTOM “AT LEAST NOT UNTIL HORIKOSHI GIVES US LIKE TWENTY-SIX MORE OF THEM FIRST IF THAT’S THE WAY HE WANTS TO PLAY IT.” IT’S A GOOD SIGN, PLEASE RESPECT ITS WISHES!!

so anyway though, Jeanist is giving a speech about how god knows how many people all worked together to bring Machia down. and now RHA is getting in on those fabric puns too, I see. “A SINGLE STRAND MAY BE THIN BUT TOGETHER THEY FORM A STRONG ROPE” oh so you think you guys are funny eh? I’m a frayed knot

MEANWHILE EXCUSE ME BUT WHY ARE YOU FUCKING CRYING BLOOD, HOLY SHIT

fffffff. so much for him taking over as the Number One once all this is over. so let’s just recap real quick, because Horikoshi has long since made it clear that one of his plot goals for this arc is to wipe out every single member of the Billboard Top Ten. so how we doin?

Endeavor - was just figuratively eviscerated in front of the entire nation by his homicidal zombiepunk son. also burnt half to death and possibly down a lung. will almost certainly be forced to retire after this one way or the other

Hawks - lying prettily in a medical tent. wings status: gone. hair status: still perfect

Jeanist - WELL I THOUGHT HE WAS FINE BUT APPARENTLY HE’S OUT HERE DYING, JESUS CHRIST

Edgeshot - MIA, last seen fighting Re-Destro. I really want him to have kicked RD’s ass because fuck that guy, but realistically they probably fought to a draw at best

Mirko - alive but in critical condition and missing something like 1.5 limbs

Crust - dead, currently haunting Aizawa’s traumatized dreams. now he’s gonna be triggered the rest of his life by people giving him the thumbs up, THANKS A LOT

Kamui Woods - was set on fire which is His Weakness. thoughts and prayers

Wash - last seen floating hospital patients to safety as Tomura’s wave of decay descended towards him. probably dead ffff

Old Man Samurai - haven’t seen this fucker in a hot minute, who even knows where he’s wandered off to

Ryuukyuu - currently being treated for her wounds, looked pretty bad off. but it’s hard to tell how hurt she is since most of the injuries were acquired in her transformed state. SHE BETTER GET WELL SOON

anyways, so yeah. so much for the top ten. guess that’s another reason Horikoshi brought Mirio back now, huh

so there’s a big panel of everyone fighting the Noumu while Machia lies there all “blurgh.” good riddance my dude. it took like twenty chapters and a hundred people to stop this guy so I really fucking hope he stays down. you’ve had your fun

anyway so Jeanist is sending another steel thread towards Dabi! and he’s all “just a bit more!!” fklklj this is gonna go real well isn’t it

meanwhile Mirio’s fighting a Nearly High End with all of these weird rock formations jutting out of its skin. go on and kick his ass then, Mirio

“each of these guys is probably just as strong as the Noumu from Kyuushuu” hold on I thought Ujiko or Tomura or someone said that wasn’t the case? not that Mirio would know I suppose. anyways let’s just hope he’s wrong cuz if not these kids are probably screwed

kLSDKFHLSKHGLKLK OH MY GODDDD

IIDA FUCKING TENYA YOU’RE A PEACH. THINKS THE NAME IS OUTRAGEOUS, CHECK. USES IT ANYWAY, CHECK. “JUST BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T BE SUPPORTIVE.” WHAT A CLASS ACT

AND KACCHAN IS RESPONDING WITH AS MUCH DIGNITY AS HE CAN MUSTER

WOW, SON. IT’S ALMOST AS THOUGH YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO, OR SOMETHING!! although listen up, real talk, the fact that Kacchan of all people can’t muster the energy to yell at someone questioning his ability to kick ass is HIGHKEY troubling and we may be in need of an intervention here soon :/

now Jeanist is finally turning his attention to the League! was... was it not already on the League. omg

ACTUAL SCREAMING AHHHHHH FUCK FUCKLK LK AHHLKHKFFFF

hey so um. what the actual fucked up hell. my soul left my body. imagine if you saw the reflection of this panel on your bedroom window. you would never sleep again

OKAY RHA TRANSLATORS ARE YOU HAVING YOURSELF A LAUGH AGAIN

THIS CANNOT BE WHAT HE’S ACTUALLY SAYING RIGHT. BUT IT’S RIGHT IN THAT UNCANNY VALLEY OF NOT BEING QUITE SURE, THOUGH... (　ﾟдﾟ)

(ETA: just a next-day clarification here, apparently my sleep-deprived ADHD word-skipping brain completely skipped right over the “a” in that last panel, so what I read was, “and Shigaraki’s limp noodle.” so yeah, the moral of this story is always read the speech bubble carefully before you start making running jokes throughout the rest of your post, folks.)

oh wow he’s really freaking out lmao

to be fair though, I’d argue that Dabi has gotten pre-tty close at this point :’) thrilled for him, really I am

but anyway, well then figure something out you big dramatic robot-armed fiend. didn’t you just say you could touch your own ass? can you not just Compress yourself to break free?? does it not work on you? or would you be stuck afterwards lol

(ETA: I was picturing him compressing his entire body at once, not just chunks of it. ghhhlkh.)

holy shit Jeanist. are you stupidly trying to cut off their air, or are you going for more of a sleeper hold (jleeper hold??) thing instead. the latter would be way smarter and faster and probably safer as well just saying

but unless Spinner is just being super dramatic, it sure looks like he’s fucking strangling them djslkjlk. this will certainly cement his popularity among the villain stans. good thing you’re not running for office any time soon bud

anyway so I have no idea what these guys are trying to do now. what is this

do you even have till the count of 5 at this rate. I mean

OH MY GOODNESS

HE’S REALLY FUCKING DOING IT!! HE’S COMPRESSING HIS BUTT!! OMFG. TOMURA HIDE YOUR NOODLE!!!

WHAT THE FUCK

DID YOU COMPRESS A PIECE OF YOUR OWN ASS. FUCKING WHAT. PUT THIS MAN’S PICTURE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO THE WORD “LOYALTY”, HOLY CRAP

HOLY SHIT COMPRESS

“HOLY SHIT DID THAT GUY JUST PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH HIS OWN ASS IN ORDER TO SAVE HIS VILLAIN PALS. FUCK IT, HE DESERVES TO ESCAPE”

jeez, talk about... A HALF-ASSED ESCAPE ATTEMPT :D :D :D hahaha. but real talk though, Horikoshi has clearly never tried to leap twelve feet straight up in the air multiple times in succession with only half his glutes though. everyone, I regret to inform you that this panel right here on the left may be slightly unrealistic

also where the hell is he going to go?? did you pack a jetpack away in one of those little marbles sir. and what about Dabi?? and Skeptic too, I guess, but we don’t really care about Skeptic

(ETA: at this point I had to stop reading for about two hours because I had to go out and take care of something; that’s also why this is being posted later than usual lol. anyways so where were we.)

oh my lord

the existence of a translator’s note here implies that the earlier line about Compress being able to reach Tomura’s junk was not, in fact, ad-libbed. hmm. hmmmmmmmm

anyway so now he’s grabbing Compress again because OF COURSE HE IS, so now we’re right back to square one! except now Tomura and Spinner are secured inside of little marbles, and presumably Compress is the only one who can release them

oh nevermind he’s just maiming himself again instead, SHEESH

Skeptic a man is dying please have some goddamn respect

so, uh. is he gonna die, though??

I really can’t tell wtf is going on here, this is the most confusing the art has been in a while. Horikoshi put all of his spoons into that creepyass close-up panel earlier, that bastard

OMG WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS

DON’T FUCKING TELL ME THE “COMPRESS IS RELATED TO THIS THIEF GUY FROM OLDEN TIMES” THEORY IS ACTUALLY TRUE WHAAAAAAT. OH SHIT

so apparently Harima was a Robin Hood type guy who stole from... heroes?? wtf. are heroes the 1% in this scenario. y’all didn’t have any Fortune 500 CEOs to steal from?

THAT’S THE BLOOD THAT FLOWS THROUGH YOU, OH SHIT. and in a related oh shit, the fact that we are getting a Compress flashback now of all times doesn’t bode super well for him. ffff

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKIS ARE STILL TODOROKI-ING

listen here boy if you touch one freaking hair on Shouto’s candy cane head I swear to god --

WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY!!!

SHOUTO NOOOOOO. WTF YOU’RE LITERALLY THE ONE GUY WHOSE WEAKNESS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FIRE. DABI YOU SHIT, YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF!! I’M PRINTING OUT A COPY OF THAT COMPRESS PANEL!!! KEEP AN EYE OUT ON THAT BEDROOM WINDOW YOU PUNK!!!

SO NOW POOR SHOUTO IS UNCONSCIOUS AND FALLING!! SOMEONE SAVE HIM!! WHO CATCHES THE CATCHER

COMPRESS LITERALLY HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS HAPPENING

PLEASE DON’T CALL TOMURA LEADER OF THE “PLF” YOU KNOW I CAN’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU DO THAT. ARE YOU DYING. ARE YOU JUST A FUCKING HEAD NOW WTF

(ETA: “masks are removable, makeste” you know what it’s been a long day okay lmao. or I suppose Compress is really the one who is lmao.)

GASPPPPPP

okay. okay. looooool okay then

WHY WERE YOU COVERING THIS SEXY MOP OF HAIR UNDER THAT HOOD YOU TOOL. IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED SO GOOD WITH THE TOP HAT. I’M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW

as if it wasn’t enough for him to demask himself, he also had to get all shirtless and then do this weird attempt at a sexypose too huh

hard to say exactly how much of his torso is currently missing, but safe to say that’s proooooooobably not good. :///// fuck

on the other hand, Kacchan also has a torso hole and he’s still flying around like he just drank a dozen red bulls, so

this man lost his ass and he’s still out here monologuing like it’s the last two minutes of The Prestige. one might say he is monologuing his ass off

so he let Spinner and Tomura free, but is Dabi still trapped in his marble?? wasn’t he all on fire and stuff?? hopefully he can still turn off his quirk in there because if not that’s a pretty fucked up way to die. somewhere out there Snatch’s ghost is all “YEAH I’LL SAY.” oh how the turntables

last but not least, sooooooo. Tomura. back on the ground. that’s. um. ...shiiiiiiiit

#bnha 294 #mr. compress #...and actually that's pretty much it lol #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #sorry this is up later than usual (and mostly unedited as well)#just one of those days

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obeiii-mee · 3 years

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Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!

——————————-

This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)

——————————-

The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:

Lucifer:

-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived

-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable

-Not to mention all the treatment you would require

-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there

-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake

-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair

-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house

-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs

-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year

-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis

-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)

-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break

-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom

-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you

-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you

-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case

-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears

-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you

-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back

-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare

-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha

-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay

-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need

-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol

Mammon:

-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first

-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human

-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”

-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that

-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for

-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?

-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though

-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around

-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN

-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it

-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am

-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions

-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:

-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”

-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh

-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs

-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad

-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”

-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too

-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving

-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad

-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”

-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones

-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often

Levi:

-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom

-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year

-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot

-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often

-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you

-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him

-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”

-“The answer is no Leviathan.”

-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“

-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around

-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all

-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch

-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him

-Usually left out by other people, ignored even

-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself

-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking

-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’

-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)

-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !

-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven

-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans

-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being

-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure

-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol

-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it

-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-

-OK Levi, sit back down

-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything

-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room

-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe

Satan:

-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense

-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)

-He’s a smart boy, alright?

-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you

-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get

-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰

-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way

-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)

-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help

-But in a subtle way...?

-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside

-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here

-He wants to know how your wheelchair works

-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before

-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself

-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like

-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon

-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain

-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish

-But when others purposefully try harming you?

-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage

-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings

-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything

-You’re strong and he knows this

-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you

-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing

Asmo:

-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life

-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way

-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time

-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around

-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual

-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get

-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go

-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously

-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you

-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together

-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”

-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes

-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room

-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day

-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times

-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not

-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life

-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries

-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career

-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)

-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(

Beel:

-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances

-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is

-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius

-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?

-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around

-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(

-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way

-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so

-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best

-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him

-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help

-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’

-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most

-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”

-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound

-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt

-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do

-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough

-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times

-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself

-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation

-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair

-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what

Belphie:

-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak

-It didn’t matter that you had a disability

-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him

-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first

-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs

-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all

-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby

-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer

-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you

-Do not let him push you around

-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls

-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off

-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that

-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole

-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him

-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not

-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer

-But he doesn’t care

-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there

-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD

-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over

-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”

-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”

-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often

-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house

-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌

———————————

Al~

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #om #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #paraplegia #⭐️ requests #🕯 general #☂️ demon brothers

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xjoonchildx · 4 years

Text

guilty | knj x reader | epilogue: better than okay

summary: as the man at the top, kim namjoon has almost everything he wants. almost. could a familiar face from the past change his future?

pairing: namjoon x reader

genre: mafia AU, smut, fluff. a lot of fluff. SO MUCH FLUFF. but also smut. am i making any sense? is this thing on?

rating: 18+

word count: 1.9K

author’s note: okay, guys. here is an unplanned, totally out-of-left-field drabble/epilogue for guilty. i got a few messages from you guys that you’d love to check in on these two after the night in the penthouse. once i saw those messages, it’s like i couldn’t unsee them and i had to write this before i could move on with my life to give mr. min yoongi the guarded treatment he deserves.

this is fluffy. lots of feelings? it’s interesting because i’ve never alluded to marriage or children or even had my characters “use the L word” in any of my fics. it’s not usually my style, i guess? i like to leave a lot of the feelings implied. BUT in this case, i felt it was appropriate.

i hope you guys like this. i hope it’s a satisfying wrap to the story of these two characters. i can’t wait to get going on yoongi’s story and hope to have something out on that soon. beta read by the amazing @ladyartemesia and @hobi-gif two brains i cannot live without!

thanks to every last one of you who read and message me about these fics. i wish you knew how genuinely happy that makes me.

Chapter 01 | 02 | 03

***********************

The villa is quiet but for the muted whirr of the air conditioning units when you return.

You walk from room to room, coming up empty each time you open a new door. It’s only when you walk out back to the deck that you find them.

They’re napping together in the sun, faces shaded by an oversized beach umbrella.

Dasom is curled securely into her father’s side, lashes moist against cheeks rosy with heat. One chubby arm draped over his chest, possessive over him even in sleep. You’ve come to accept that this is the way of things these days -- Dasom is in the throes of an all-consuming daddy phase. Your little girl seems to have conveniently forgotten which of you did all the hard work of bringing her into the world.

You stare down into her beautiful, traitorous little face -- tucked into his golden, carved body and your heart does a funny little flip.

You didn’t know it was possible to love this deeply.

Namjoon stirs when you delicately extract Dasom from his hold, careful not to wake her. He pouts even before he’s fully awake, mourning the loss of her comforting weight. It’s only then that his eyes open -- hooded and drowsy -- and the corners of his mouth quirk into a tired smile.

There’s that funny little flip again.

You put one finger over your lips to silence him and he nods, eyes falling shut one more time.

***********************

You handle Dasom with the kind of care you’d give a live bomb.

You carry her back into the villa slowly, afraid to make a sound and careful to avoid any sudden movements. It’s a painstaking process but eventually your hard work pays off. After some very careful footwork she is lying down in the crib, one hand fisted into her favorite blanket.

The one that smells like daddy, of course.

You stand there and watch the steady rise and fall of her chest for a while.

It’s a stroke of serendipity that Dasom favors your mother as much as she does. You never would have imagined she’d share a face as well as a name with the matriarch she’ll never meet.

Life has such an interesting way of coming full circle sometimes.

*************************

Namjoon is still resting when you make your way back to the deck.

His long, strong body is sprawled out across the massive sun chaise, droplets of water not yet vaporized by the sun clinging to his skin and hair. He looks so young like this -- rested and peaceful and bronzed -- millions of mental miles away from the pressure of his responsibilities in Seoul.

You’ll never get over how handsome he is.

Never.

You’d come home from your massage today with a very specific goal in mind -- but you take one look at your sleeping husband and hesitate. These moments really are so few and far between for him.

You should let him rest.

You bend down to drop a soft kiss on his cheek before heading back inside. But as you straighten to leave, his hands come up to grab you. Strong fingers grip your waist, dragging you down onto the chaise.

Onto him.

“Namjoon,” you whisper a paper-thin protest, lips at his ear. The rough material of his swim trunks scrapes against your thighs as you straddle him. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“Why would I do that,” he murmurs, hands stroking down your sides, “when I could be doing this?”

Good question.

He kisses you then, slow and languorous, pressing you into his chest with hands splayed against the small of your back. You sigh when they slip lower to grip your ass -- to drag you against the cock now stirring to life between his legs.

“You really do need your rest,” you protest as his lips move up the column of your neck.

“Quit bossing me around,” he mutters, nipping at you like a reprimand. “I know exactly what I need.”

His hands stray from the cup of your ass then, slipping under your sundress and just a heartbeat later you feel his smile against your skin.

He hums his satisfaction at finding you completely bare beneath the thin material. His fingertips glide over the soft skin of your legs, touch feather-light.

“You were gonna let me sleep, huh?”

“Yes, of course,” you insist, rolling your hips experimentally against the bulge you can now feel throbbing beneath you, straining against his trunks.

“Liar,” he accuses, the deep timbre of his voice sending a shiver up your back. His hands drop to the hem of your dress and he pulls it over your head in one smooth motion, throwing it aside.

You lean into him, claiming a kiss with one arm wrapped around his neck. Namjoon lets you steer this one, content to let you explore his mouth at your own pace. Your hands card into his hair and you grind down against him as you taste him, taking his bottom lip between your teeth.

Microscopic grains of sand tickle your skin as your body slides against his.

There’s no concern for privacy, despite the fact that you’re naked on top of your husband in the outdoors. This piece of Jeju Island is Namjoon’s, and the armed men who stand guard at the entrance to this compound at his command are tasked with ensuring no one and nothing comes near.

This is the safest place in the world right now.

At this villa. On this chaise. In his arms.

Namjoon makes an impatient sound from deep in his chest while you rock mindlessly against him. He slips a hand down to your apex and drags one long finger across your opening. He groans when he finds you messy for him, thighs slick with sweat and excitement.

“Minx,” he teases, teeth at your neck. “I’m playing right into your hands.”

“So you are,” you agree as he kisses his way down, mouth open and wet against your breast until he reaches one aching nipple, already at attention. He rakes his teeth over it and you suck in a sharp breath, jolting at the stimulation. Then he turns his head to mouth at the other nipple, softer this time. You jerk again in his hold.

“Sensitive?” he muses, one brow lifted.

“V-very,” you stammer, pulling back. “It’s too much.”

Namjoon makes a curious sound under his breath as he pulls you closer. Your nipples graze against the sun-warm planes of his chest but this time the sensation is bearable, skirting closer to pleasure than pain.

You tighten your hold around his neck, moaning when he sinks one finger inside of you, thumb closing over your clit at the same time.

“Yes,” you whisper. “Yes, yes, yes.”

Namjoon knows exactly how to touch you, where and for how long. He can take you apart and put you back together with breathtaking precision now that he knows you -- quite literally -- inside and out. Years of trial and error distilled down to the most masterful strokes, culminating in skill that has you shaking in his arms in no time.

“No, Jagi,” he chides, sensing you’re well on your way to coming undone with his fingers inside of you and his mouth against yours. “Save this one for me.”

You whine on an exhale when he pulls away from you long enough to shove his swim trunks off his hips. He takes himself in hand, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he watches you.

“What is it?” you ask, suddenly self-conscious.

You cross your arms over yourself without thinking. Your body has changed so much since Dasom came into the world. It’s impossible to ignore the new fullness of your breasts, the added roundness in your hips and thighs.

Namjoon tuts under his breath.

“Don’t hide from me,” he admonishes quietly, pulling you back in. “I just like to look at you sometimes.” He lifts your hips over his with steady hands, gazing up into your face. “Still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

He punctuates that sentiment with his cock, guiding you down and lifting his own hips to meet yours halfway. You whimper at the perfect fullness you feel when he’s anchored deep, completely sheathed inside of you.

“Namjoon,” you breathe, rocking impatiently into his deliberate grind. “God, you feel so good.”

He smiles into the kiss he plants on you; rolling his hips slowly, thrusts careful and unhurried.

Here there’s no urgent calls waiting, no Seokjin or Yoongi to interrupt -- just you and him melding together against the backdrop of the beach and waves. He savors this moment -- basks in it -- cock buried deep inside of you, lips plush against yours.

It goes on like that, slow and sweaty and snug, until the release he’d stirred inside of you just a few moments ago threatens again. You feel it looming, circling when he pulls his knees up and strokes deep against your most sensitive spots. You pull your mouth away to cry out and his grip on your hips tightens, keeping you from pulling back.

“Come apart for me Jagi,” he groans, thrusts building in intensity, “Come around me.”

You’ve never been able to deny him a thing -- and certainly not this.

You stop fighting back against the pleasure, surrendering to the sensation. You let it wash over you, holding tight to Namjoon for balance as his own release ignites. He whispers your name over and over as his thrusts become frenzied, thighs straining when he empties himself inside of you.

You fall onto him then, spent and limp.

You lie together like that for a while, bodies warm in the sun, the sound of water lapping against the shore lulling you both into relaxation. Namjoon drops a kiss on your temple, fingers tracing soft lines up and down your spine.

Everything is going to be okay.

Your think back to the penthouse and the promise Namjoon made to you at the very beginning. Since then it’s become a shared mantra of sorts, whispered between you both during times of trouble.

He’d promised you that again when you thought grief would pull you apart at the seams after your mother died. You promised the same to him when his worry and doubts about fatherhood nearly broke him in the months before Dasom’s arrival.

“Our baby isn’t a baby anymore,” Namjoon laments in a whisper, interrupting your thoughts. “I was watching her today on the beach, walking in the sand. She’s so independent now. Not much longer and she won’t even need me.”

“Don’t be silly,” you soothe. “She’s always going to need you.”

He hums thoughtfully, chest rumbling beneath you.

“Well, I was thinking -- ” he clears his throat before continuing, “ -- that maybe it’s time for another.”

You tuck your head under his chin, smiling to yourself.

“Another?”

“Another baby.”

“That’s a good idea,” you murmur, taking one of his hands in yours. You guide it down to the swell of your belly, relishing the way he sucks in a deep breath.

“Really?

“Really.”

“Now?”

“Not now now,” you tease. “Now as in about seven months from now.”

Namjoon slips two fingers under your chin to tip your lips towards his.

“That’s good, Jagi,” he exhales, kissing you softly. “That’s real good.”

He winds his fingers through yours and you stare at your joined hands.

Everything is going to be okay.

But everything is not okay.

It’s so much better than that.

*********************

tagging: @taetaewonderland @ppersonna @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @prettyguardiansailormin @barbikatherine @55west81st @laabellaavitaa21 @codeinebelle @jalexad @trynavibewhileicry @poohsaidhi @eltrain80 @bluewhale52 @krystle1990 @thestrugglesofateenagedirtbag @hauntedlilies @kjooniesbabygirl @unicorn5090 @parkjimin-persona @julia-pacheco-blog @veryuniquenamegoeshere @katbonv @sunkissed725 @yourdaydreamerfan

#namjoon smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon mafia #ficswithluv #ksmutclub #networkbangtan #btswriterscollective #btscreatorscorner #bangtanarmynet

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zukkoxx · 3 years

Text

mha boys realizing they’re in love pt.1

w/ deku, bakugo

tw⚠️ insecurities!, self doubt!

deku 🥦

izuku knew he loved you since you guys started dating.

he had liked you for a long time, and when you finally got together in your last year of UA, he couldn’t have been happier.

he planned on living the rest of his life with you. and would go through any feats to make it possible.

so when you started to feel doubts about your relationship? that was a wake up call for him.

you had just finished training, all sweaty and tired, walking back to your dorm with a towel around your neck.

you scrolled through your phone mindlessly, and just happened to come across a twitter post about your boyfriend, deku, who had just taken down one of the villains that’s been on the run for months.

you smiled. you were so proud of him. already achieving his dream in becoming one of the greatest heroes. and getting the recognition he finally deserved.

you made it your your dorm, slumping on your bed as you read some of the comments.

woah this guy is still attending UA!? he’ll be a great hero for sure

there’s no one like him!

deku strikes again! what a stud😍

you laughed at some, grimaced at others that claimed the mission was too easy for him. but one particular comment had you freezing in your spot.

is he single? i won’t hesitate to run to the scene and give him my hand in marriage right now!

you knew it was a fun, lighthearted comment. but you clicked the the commenters page and instantly noticed how beautiful as preppy she was.

she was also a big deku fan...probably had more merch than you.

you sighed and threw your phone across the bed.

for the past few weeks, you had been thinking about how different you and izuku were in terms of success.

you were both in your last year of high school, and he had already done so much.

worked on so many cases with pro heroes and went through successful missions all the time. he was destined to become the greatest hero.

and you?

well, you’ve never even caught a villain.

sure you’ve helped out on low grade missions for the hero you interned under, but you had never been publicly praised like izuku. you never stood out.

you had trouble believing you’d become a hero at all.

you always wondered, wouldn’t izuku be better off with someone that could keep up with him? who wouldn’t hold him back. someone who he wouldn’t leave in the dust when he excelled in the future.

he deserved someone better.

your thoughts were cut off when your dorm door brushed open, revealing no other than the man himself.

izuku walked into your room with worried eyes and seemed out of breath.

“y/n? ive texted and called a bunch of times. why haven’t you answered?” he asked, and you subtly turned to your phone that you discarded on the other half of the bed.

“my ringer was off. sorry izu.” you tired to give him a smile as he sat next to you on your bed. “i saw an article about your mission today. you were amazing!” you complimented.

“ahh you give me too much credit. i couldn’t have dont anything with the pro heroes and other people helping.”

“still, you’re a great hero. i wish i was like that.” you chuckle dryly, past insecurities already pushing forward again.

“what!? you’re a great hero y/n!” izuku exclaimed.

“i’ve barely done anything izuku. i don’t know how you put up with me. i should be able to help you on your missions, but i’m stuck in the same position i have been in. i don’t know when i’ll improve.”

you didn’t mean to sound so pathetic, but you had been feeling this way for so long. it was all just spilling out now.

and izuku? he literally stopped breathing when he heard what you were saying about yourself. “you deserve someone that will be able to keep up with you. what will people think when they find out the amazing deku is dating a weak, incapable, good for nothing-”

“don’t say one more word y/n.” izuku cuts you off, and you look up to meet his eyes piercing yours.

they were dark, nothing like their usual gleaming glow that shined when he looked at you.

there was no sign of amusement on any of his features. just dead seriousness

“what the hell are you talking about y/n?” he asks, but doesn’t give you a chance to respond. “you’re one of the most courageous, brave, intelligent, capable people i know! where is all of this coming from?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for a while. it’s just you’re so...amazing and i’m so...” you knew anything you could have said after that would make him even more angry. it was nothing positive.

god he probably hated you for being so insecure.

“you’re you, y/n.” izuku says softly. “you’re you and you’re who i love. i don’t care about what i do, what you do, who says what! i love you for you!”

izuku looks at you with so much love and compassion. you stared into his eyes, wondering what was gong on in his head.

well? at the moment he despised himself for letting you feel this way.

you were his whole world! the person who supported you in everything he did and he would support you in the same way! he couldn’t understand why you were feeling this way when he was literally...in love with you.

he loved you yeah of course, but hearing the way you were speaking about yourself, and how you had doubts about your relationship made his heart physically hurt. he was absolutely and unconditionally in love with you and wouldn’t be able to see himself with anyone else.

and he needed you to hear it.

“y/n you’re my everything! i’m so in love with you, no amount of fame or recognition could make me even think about leaving you!” izuku said urgently, and he finally calmed down when he saw a slight smile reach your lips.

a real one this time.

the conversation continued, and izuku promised to let you learn and remember how in love he was with you until it was the last thing he’d do.

bakugo 💥

bakugo would never pursue anyone unless he definitely knew he loved them.

so of course he never asked you out when he couldn’t differentiate if what he felt for you was love, or if it was a stupid little crush.

he didn’t like thinking about his feelings, especially the irrelevant ones.

he was trying to become the number one hero. who needed time for love anyways?

so he ignored his “feelings” for you, not allowing them to confuse him any longer.

it wasn’t until a few months into his third year when bakugo got the worst news of his life.

you were on a mission. an important one that had you absent from school for weeks.

bakugo was worried.

he’d text you every few days, asking what was going on and how things were and you’d always respond with “it’s fine.” or “we’re hanging in there.”

he assumed it was a pretty difficult mission, but nothing you couldn’t handle.

you were strong

so when he heard from a certain icy-hot that you were in the hospital in critical condition after completing the mission, he forgot about everything and ran straight to you.

ignoring aizawa’s calls, he almost blasted himself out of UA and checked every hospital for you, considering he didn’t even ask todoroki which one you were in before he left.

when he finally reached the hospital holding you, he sprinted to your room.

he found you hooked up to a bunch of wires and tests.

you looked peaceful, sleeping while the heart monitor beeped beside you.

but you looked horrible. bloody bandages covered almost every limb, and your body was covered in bruises.

bakugo’s heart dropped to his stomach. he couldn’t stand seeing you like this.

why does his feelings have to be 100x more noticeable when your tragically hurt!?

he sat down on the empty chair beside the hospital bed, wondering why no one else was visiting at this time.

he stared at you, something he couldn’t get off of his mind lately.

“why do you make me feel things, dumbass?” he asked, waiting for a response. “i never skip class! you just had to get hurt and make me skip the test review.” he rolled his eyes, but his face softened as he looked at you, still sleeping.

“i’ll help you study. you’ll probably fail without going over what we learned.”

.....

“would you wake up, you shitty woman!” he yelled, gripping the side of your bed “this is scary, you know?”

.....

“i should’ve called you today, i just assumed you’d be too busy to talk. if you told me you were in trouble, i’d blast my ass to wherever you were in a heartbeat.” bakugo said, feeling his actual heart skip a beat when you still didn’t respond.

“please wake up...”

after about an hour of waiting, your other classmates came in, checking on your condition.

you still hadn’t woken up, but your vitals were better and your breath were more steady.

by the time night fell, everyone left; except for bakugo

he was just starting to fall asleep when he felt she. he heard you stir in the hospital bed.

his head shot up, quickly turning to face you as he saw you blinking you eyes slowly.

“y/n!” he yelled a little louder than anticipated, making you shoot awake and look at him.

you blinked a few more times before realizing who you were looking at. “katsuki!?” you asked, trying to sit up, but feeling a sharp pain in your side.

“hey! don’t move dumbass. are you okay? do you remember anything?” he frantically asked.

“umm...i’m fine?” you said, sounding like you were trying to convince yourself. “why are you here?”

“why am i here? you were admitted into the hospital in critical condition!”

“i-i’m sorry, everything’s a bit fuzzy right now.” you say softly, putting a hand on your forehead and tryin got remember everything.

bakugo softened, and waited until you got yourself together. “how long have you been here?” you ask

“since this morning.”

“this morning!? katsuki what about school? do your parents even know you’re here?”

“why the hell are you worried about me? you’re the one hooked up to all these machines and can barely move!” bakugo yelled, trying to understand why you were so focused on him being there with you.

“i just never thought you’d be the one to go out of your way to check on someone. let alone be here the whole day...” you whispered, suddenly feeling shy at the idea of bakugo keeping your sleeping body company for hours.

bakugo froze at your words.

he really wasn’t the type to go check on people for more than a few minutes. especially not one to skip school because of it.

maybe he did this because he felt a little more than what he thought he did.

maybe this wasn’t a stupid little crush? maybe it was something serious that he had just been blowing off.

when he heard about your condition, he just couldn’t stand by. there must have been something that pushed him to run to you.

“it’s cause u care about you...idiot. i wasn’t gonna a let you suffer here alone.” he huffs, crossing his arms.

“katsukiii do you like me or something?” you asked in a teasing tone

he couldn’t believe you were making jokes at a time like this. furthermore, he couldn’t believe how easy it was for you to see through his facade.

“i do.” he states. there was no point in lying.

“i was just kidding kats-“

“i’m not.” he cuts you off. “i care about you, and i like you. a lot. so...you better like be bad damn it. or i’ll blow you to bits!”

you chuckled and smiled tenderly at him. you definitely weren’t expecting him to say that, but you weren’t complaining.

“i like you too...i guess.” you smile, and katsuki tsked before smirking at you.

he finally felt like he could breath again, and that everything was going to be fine now.

except...katsuki didn’t like you. he loved you. but no way would he tell you that

this absolutely sucks i can’t believe i’m posting this. if you can, plz give me some requests so i don’t make trash hcs like this again. they’ll be a pt.2 later. hopefully it isn’t as bad as this one.

click here to send a request. i’d really appreciate it!

#mha fluff #mha #bakugou imagine #bakugo x y/n #bakugo katsuki #bakugou headcanons #bakugou x you #bakugou x reader #bakugo headers #deku headcanons #deku x reader #izuku headcanons #deku x y/n #deku x you #izuku x you

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forhereyesonlyyy · 3 years

Text

(iii) lean on me. // gfriend, cyn. // one-shot.

word count: 9.9k

author's note: and we're on part three! i literally did not mean for this to be so long and have so much stuff going on but i thought that certain questions would be left hanging if i didn’t write with detail 😓 anyway, this is the final part! it’s a bit lacking compared to the previous ones but nevertheless, i still enjoyed writing this and i truly hope that you guys liked reading it 😊 really sorry i dragged this on though,,,, i feel like i could have avoided certain scenes since they are pretty much pointless but i just really didn’t want to leave any loose ends 😓😓

tags (overall): high school au, fluff, slow burn, angst, enemies to friends to lovers.

tw (overall): violence, injury, bullying.

previous: (ii) lean on me.

With your arm finally healing and being free from the stupid cast, you were back in the game. And after your infamous falling-out with Yuju, which somehow every single student in the school was aware of, things were going back to what you considered was normal. Basically, things were the same as they were before Yuju came and made a mess in your already messy life. Everyone was scared of you again, you kept your distance with certain individuals, and teachers were on the lookout just in case you do something that might get you in trouble.

Although you were once again a top dog in the school, that didn’t mean that you were as tough as you were before.

Obviously the whole thing with Yuju affected you to the point where you actually wanted to come back to her and apologize, maybe hang out with her again but you didn’t see the point in that when she has made it clear that she does want something more than being friends, and you? Well, now you can answer truthfully that romance was simply something that didn’t ‘fit’ your lifestyle. It would explain the constant push-and-pull game you were having with yourself whenever Yuju made you feel something.

I think.

You have also stopped talking to Seokmin, for obvious reasons. You silently wished him luck on his journey to wooing Yuju, although it bothers you to think about your two best friends kissing and being sweet. But you would be happy.

Yuju deserves someone who can make her smile.

“Yuju deserves someone who can do more than that.”

Ah, yes. You always had to deal with one Jung Yerin every morning. You never tried to chase her off because even if you did, she would still spend every single second of her life to bother you.

“Yerin, babe, it’s been three months. Can we just forget about all of this?” SinB asks, leaning against the locker next to yours and shaking her head when Yerin refuses to back down from a lost battle.

“I can’t sleep because of this, Eunbi! I hate it when our friends fight.” Yerin complained. She’s been at it ever since you called it off with Yuju and she has shown no signs of stopping. You appreciated what she was trying to do but you wished that she would try to understand why you even stopped being friends with Yuju. Perhaps Yerin does understand but refuses to acknowledge it because she was so close to her ‘dream’.

Her dream of finally getting me a girlfriend… I can’t believe her sometimes.

“So do I but we have to respect (Y/N) and Yuju. Let’s not force our way into their business anymore, alright?” SinB says, hoping to finally push through her girlfriend’s stubbornness and calm her down. It works because Yerin doesn’t say anything else but melt into SinB’s arms, muttering something about how things are so unfair.

“If it’s meant to work out, then it’ll work out.” SinB said. You glared at her, but she only smirks. Oh, that stupid smirk. She was trying to provoke a reaction out of you, but you would never let Hwang SinB have her way.

You crossed your arms over your chest, “You know, I really don’t appreciate it whenever you guys talk as if I’m not right beside you.” You said. It was only seven-thirty in the morning. There was lots of time for you to scold your friends, and hopefully to relax in the library a little.

“Well, sometimes you act like you’re not with us whenever we’re hanging out together! Imagine how we feel.” Yerin countered. That was because you were trying to drive them off. Yerin and SinB are great friends, but you didn’t want them to get involved in your mess. You thought that giving them the cold shoulder and not uttering a single word to them would make them stop lurking around, but that proved to be false. Obviously.

“Maybe next time don’t hang out with me. It’ll be better for all of us.” You rebuked and started walking to the direction of the library without another word. There were students crowding the hallways, it was like everyone simultaneously decided to come to school at exactly seven-thirty. Well, at least you didn’t have to literally squeeze your way in and out of the hallway because the crowds part for you.

Suddenly, you feel an arm wrapping around your shoulders and you really were about to knock out whoever dared to touch you until you hear that annoying voice.

“You’re so cute when you act mean to us.” Yerin says as she and her girlfriend end up next to you again. I’m not getting out of this hell, aren’t I?

SinB nods, “Seriously! Continue being like that and we’ll have no choice but to fall in love with you.” She teased with a wink.

“You guys are into that?” You asked, genuinely curious.

“Hell yeah! One girlfriend is a dream come true enough on its own, imagine having two!” Yerin gushed. They had a point, but having Yerin and SinB as girlfriends… would be torture. They were already too much for you as friends! And so, you immediately chuck that bizarre idea out of your thoughts but somehow the couple knew that you thought about it and teased you.

You laughed at all their jokes, “Sorry. You guys are hot but neither of you are my type.” Yerin and SinB then started booing you following your confession, but you ignored them and entered the library. Surprisingly enough, they followed along. They earned a couple of shushes as soon as they stepped inside, making you stifle a laugh and immediately run for an aisle to hide your embarrassment.

While Yerin and SinB sat on a table to chat quietly amongst themselves, you scoured the shelves for something to read. You haven’t had a novel in your hands for three weeks, mostly because you just lost interest in reading since you could finally do other things with your arm finally being on top condition. And the other reason was because Seokmin is almost always in the library doing stuff.

You really didn’t want to come across him ever. You knew that he would ask questions and you didn’t know if you were in control of your emotions enough to not shut him down.

“This looks nice.” You muttered, staring down at a book that had a particularly interesting cover. After reading the synopsis, you head to the librarian’s desk to borrow the novel for a week, but you weren’t prepared to see Seokmin behind the computer that almost covered his whole face. The universe hates me.

It was too late to back out. You were literally the only person in line and it was obvious that you were going to the desk in the first place. Walking away would just be awkward. Other than Seokmin, there was another face at the desk that you longed to avoid at least after spring break, maybe forever too. The universe really hates me.

Yuju didn’t look surprised to see you at all. She was more… happy. It made you angry. After all the bullshit I pulled, she’s still like this.

“I’ll see you later, Seokmin.” Yuju said, patting the boy’s arm and walking away. You didn’t look at her as she went, but you felt her eyes on you before she completely disappeared from the library. What the hell? They’re talking now? They’re touching each other now? They’re— actually, good for them! Yeah… good for them.

“Are you going to be checking that out?” Seokmin asked. You blinked, suddenly remembering that you were here for a reason, and then you nodded, putting the novel down in front of Seokmin and letting him do his thing. Neither of you said a word to each other during that whole minute. You looked back at Yerin and SinB, only to find them staring at you and Seokmin blankly, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Whatever they’re hoping for, they won’t get it.

...Please don’t let them get it.

“She misses you, you know.”

Oh my God, he let them get it.

You braced yourself for a lengthy argument, “Seokmin, let’s not.” You said. You didn’t want to make a scene at such a peaceful place and disturb everyone’s tranquility, also you just didn’t want to talk to Seokmin about Yuju. One thing you would never be caught doing again is talking about someone behind their back!

“We should, it’s the healthy thing to do.” The boy insisted.

“Enough, Seokmin. It’s over, alright? Can I have that book now?” You asked.

Seokmin shakes his head, “Yuju cares so much about you, (Y/N)—”

“You don’t think I care about her?!” You snapped. You didn’t mean to. Something in you just broke, and then it was too late for you to stop yourself. Fortunately enough, classes were about to start, so pretty much every single student that was inside the room had begun to exit the library. Yerin and SinB were among those students, but they left solely because they wanted to give you and Seokmin some privacy.

Seokmin was unfazed. It was as if he was expecting you to lose your cool. Or he wanted to see you getting worked up. “If you did, you wouldn’t be so distant.” He said. His calm and reserved tone only added fuel to your fire. He doesn’t understand. Nobody understands.

“You’d never get it, Seokmin.” You muttered. All you wanted right now was to forget about all of this. Why can’t anybody see that? Even your two closest friends at the moment were pushing you to Yuju when you’ve expressed many times that you didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. Learn to take the fucking hint, everybody.

Seokmin clenched his jaw, and this was the first time you’ve ever seen him pissed. “Cut the crap, (Y/N). What the hell are you so afraid of? Why do you keep pushing people away? And don’t fucking tell me it’s because of your ‘reputation’ because I know, everybody knows, that Yuju doesn’t care about any of that. She just wants to be with you.”

I know that too.

“I don’t know what happened that day, but Yuju would’ve understood. Why would she ever leave? She loves you.” Seokmin continued. You weren’t exactly sure what was this boy’s motive, or why he was so passionate about this. Why was he fighting so hard? Did he think that he would actually crack through your thick skull and somehow persuade you to get back together with Yuju? Would you actually do it? I can’t fight this.

You glued your gaze to the carpeted floors of the library, suddenly deprived of energy. You were never good with fighting with words because everyone always finds a way to get under your skin. They always knew which words to use against you, and how could you fight people who were well-informed about your weaknesses? It was a losing battle.

“It was easier for me to lose her this way.” You said. Seokmin doesn’t say anything for a few seconds as he was trying to process your words in his head. While he was distracted, you snatched the novel from the desk but before you could leave, Seokmin looks at you with wide eyes and a half open mouth. He knows what you meant, and you couldn’t help but laugh bitterly.

“You love her.” Seokmin says rather breathlessly. You don’t say anything back. Instead, you huffed and made your way out of the library and it just hit you that you’d finally admitted it to someone, and to yourself. You never imagined that you would ever feel that way towards somebody. You always convinced yourself that you would never have the time for that. And since you weren’t exactly the sweetheart type, you thought that nobody would ever feel that way about you.

And then Yuju came into your life. Slowly, your heart changed and now you became this confused, irrational mess and it irritated you to no end. Because at least before Yuju came and rocked your world you had control of your thoughts, but now everything is just about her.

That damn beanpole.

“Are you alright?” SinB asked, putting her hand on your back. You nodded, offering your friends a weak smile. I don’t know.

Yerin loops her arm around yours, “Come on, let’s get to class.” She then started walking down the hallway. Not feeling like speaking anymore, you expressed your gratitude by leaning into Yerin a little bit and she responds by briefly putting her head down on your shoulder. If the two of them weren’t here, I wouldn’t have been able to move.

The walk to your first class was quiet, but it was comforting. It turns out that your school doesn’t always feel like hell. When the hallways are empty and silent, you could say that the place could feel… uplifting. For exactly one moment you weren’t thinking about Yuju, and that was a moment where you felt relaxed for the first time in a while.

“This is an intervention,” Just when I think that I’d be given a break, the Devil arrives. Not you, Eunha. I still like you. It turns out that you weren’t going to be left alone at all on this one fine day. First, the annoying couple you call your best friends. Second, the boy who managed to provoke you into yelling and finally, Kim Sojung. And Eunha, and Yewon. They’re like three peas in a pod. “For your information, I am not doing this willingly.” Sojung says, crossing her arms. That was obvious enough.

Yerin anxiously waits behind you, not knowing the right words to say at the moment.

“Good morning?” You fretted, scratching your head. There was five minutes before the second class started and usually, you would spend these precious minutes packing up and preparing for the incoming period but it seems like that routine will be broken today. Please do not let this go on for more than a few seconds.

Sojung closes your locker, “We need to talk about you and Yuju.” She said. Of course. You sigh deeply, everything is about her now. Just as you were about to speak, SinB happened to walk by and now you were convinced that things are just about to get messier. What’s next? Yuju comes too? Wait, I can’t jinx it. I take that back. Don’t make her come here.

“What the fuck? You guys are having a family meeting without me?” SinB mused, automatically running to her girlfriend’s embrace.

Sojung ignores the younger girl, completely shutting her out, “So, let me just say that I only went along with this idea because of Eunha and I like Yuju. But I don’t like you, and I don’t care what happens to you or what you’re feeling—”

“She does care, she just can’t admit it.” Yewon chimed in.

“Yewon, shush,” Sojung holds her index finger up to her younger sister’s face, and then she points at you. You stared back at her with a blank expression, you really just wanted to get to class. “You need to be aware of the things that Yuju has been doing ever since you broke up with her.” The tall girl said.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “I was never dating her—”

“Yeah, that’s not what I thought. I’m pretty sure you two would’ve kissed if you weren’t constantly surrounded by people,” Sojung snickered. She wasn’t… completely wrong. You never wanted to kiss Yuju, but if she ever made a move to kiss you, well, you wouldn’t stop her. Does that one time in the hallway count as her trying to kiss me? Would I have stopped her? Seeing the look of shyness on your face, Sojung smiles smugly, knowing that she has struck the right nerve. “Genius, that is what I am.” She bragged.

“I will punch you in the face.” You stated.

Eunha finally decides to come in between you and Sojung after realizing that letting her girlfriend handle this situation would be pointless, “Okay, let’s just have a healthy conversation for once.” She suggested with a smile.

You sighed and leaned into your locker, “What do you want?” You asked. The bell rings, but neither of you moved. Even Yerin, SinB, and Yewon who probably have no business being in here didn’t leave. You were happy about that though because then you wouldn’t have to deal with Sojung alone.

“Yuju… really wanted to know,” Eunha started. You shake your head, this again. You considered completely shutting everything out, but Eunha’s next words kept you listening. “She pretty much asked everybody that she thought knew about it. Me, Sojung, other people… and Jennie.”

Upon the mention of your old friend’s name, your mind goes haywire. Yuju? Talked to Jennie? About… about that?! “Why the fuck would she do that?” You asked with your voice wavering. Jennie was merciless to those she deemed unworthy of her attention. Pretty old school considering she’s just another student, but the difference between her and the others was that she was rich and she was the principal’s relative, somehow that automatically makes her someone who has a lot of power.

And if one holds power, they’re allowed to act however they want. That’s usually bad. Especially for the lesser powerful students. Students like Yuju.

“Because you didn’t tell her anything, doofus.” Sojung taunted.

“It was for her own good,” You ran your hand through your hair and sighed once again. “I didn’t… think she would do that. How does she even know about Jennie?” You uttered. Yewon avoids your gaze, Eunha shifts awkwardly on her spot, and Sojung just stares at… something. You follow the eldest’s gaze and your eyes landed on… Jung Yerin.

Yerin bit her lower lip and fidgeted with her shirt, “I only told Yuju what I know! That I guessed that (Y/N) got involved with Jennie at some point!” She confessed more to SinB who was the most confused out of everyone at the moment.

“Well, good job anyway. You successfully got the purest girl in the school on the leading lady’s radar. Nothing bad is going to happen.” Sojung says sarcastically.

Before Sojung and Yerin could argue, Yewon interrupts both of them. “Can you guys enlighten me though? I know Jennie is… kinda mean but why is this so bad? She wouldn’t do anything rash to someone she barely knows, right?” Yewon asked. Being a student who always minds her own business, Yewon doesn’t really pay attention to anything else other than her grades and whatever her sister gets herself into.

Sojung sternly glares at you as she talks to her sister, “Jennie and our good friend over here, and also a couple of certain other people, wanted to keep what happened that day a big secret so that the important ones don’t get in trouble with the principal.” The oldest explained. Well, Sojung, how do you know so much about this? I’m more surprised that the whole story hasn’t got out yet. It’s been months. Jennie’s grip on this school is insane.

“We’re not going to force you to tell us anything if it makes you uncomfortable, or if Jennie scares you, or if you just don’t wanna say a word about it at all but… since Yuju is involved now, we just want to know how bad it really was.” Eunha says gently, taking your hand in hers and reassuring you with a kind smile. You felt warm inside, you missed her being your friend.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves. You preferred not pulling anyone else into your mess, even if it was Sojung who annoyed the hell out of you because they could get in real danger. But since Eunha was asking so nicely, and they do deserve some sort of explanation for their friend, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to tell them something. For Yuju’s sake.

“Well, you already know the guy got sent to a hospital,” You started, slowly pulling your hand from Eunha’s hold. All of the girls nod. Anyone who heard about the fight knew that much, but everything else was twisted that nobody was sure which story was the truth. It was exactly what Jennie wanted. “The thing is… that guy is Jennie’s close friend. Maybe boyfriend, or ex. I don’t fucking know, but he meant something to her and since he was the jackass that started it, Jennie didn’t want him to receive the short end of the stick.” You continued. You try your hardest to keep such grotesque images from that night out of your head for as long as you can.

The girls listen intently. You couldn’t tell what they were thinking. “If anyone with a big mouth were to ever find out about the truth… I’m not sure they would be safe.” You said. Thinking of Yuju being brutally pushed around the hallways by Jennie’s minions made your blood boil. Nobody deserves to be treated with such cruelty, especially Yuju who just wanted to understand you more.

This is my fault. I got her into this. I have to get her out.

Swallowing your own stubbornness, you made up your mind about what you could do to get Yuju out of this chaotic situation. It was probably the only way. “Has she been asking about this since… you know.” You muttered. Sojung nods, much to your dismay.

“Three months… I’m surprised she’s not dead,” You tried to joke. It landed poorly though. You shook your head, never the time for that kind of jest. “I’ll… tell her.” You confessed.

There was a moment of silence, and you weren’t sure if the girls heard you or not because they looked at you as if your words went inside one ear and out the other. What is so confusing about that? I thought it was pretty straightforward.

“Tell her you love her?” Yerin blurted out.

You blushed furiously, “The truth! What the fuck, Yerin!”

“Oh my God, you love her?” Sojung asked, covering her mouth. “This is so much better than I expected.” She exclaimed. If it wasn’t for her girlfriend, Sojung would’ve teased you to no end so once again, you were thankful for Eunha’s existence. SinB smiles fondly at you, finally feeling relieved now that you’ve succumbed to what your heart has been saying for so long.

You were relieved too, somewhat. Because now you’re not in a constant battle with yourself, but the problem is how you’re even going to talk to Yuju after this revelation.

That’s a problem to solve for some other time.

Just as lunch time started, you told Yerin and SinB that you would be doing something important that will keep you busy for the rest of the period. They didn’t say much about it and allowed you to go on your merry way, fortunately enough. With some courage and a pre-rehearsed speech, you entered the half-empty library. Just as you expected, Seokmin was quietly eating a sandwich on one of the tables, scrolling through social media on his phone.

Taking a deep breath and muttering some quick words of wisdom to yourself, you slowly approached Seokmin.

The boy slowly raises his head after sensing your presence, and you almost laughed at how shocked he looked to see you for the second time in one day.

“Hey.” You greeted.

Seokmin rushed to swallow his food, then he cleared his throat and nodded at you. “Hi.” He said.

“Can I sit here?” You asked, pulling out the chair across from him. Seokmin nodded again and you sat down, taking out your own sandwich and putting it down on the table, but doing nothing else. How do you even start talking to someone you avoided for no reason? Seokmin did not deserve to receive the cold shoulder from you because looking back at it again, he literally should not even be involved in your problem. It’s all because of…

Suddenly, it hit you. Nothing about this was Yuju’s fault. Nothing about everything you were going through was Yuju’s fault. All this time you’ve been blaming an innocent person for nothing when all of this wouldn’t have happened if you had just dealt with it the right way instead of running.

I have a lot to apologize for… but I’ll save it for when I actually see her again.

“I’ll make things right.” You say out of nowhere. That was meant to be a thought, damn it.

Seokmin keeps nodding, and he couldn’t help but smile at your promise. “I figured as much. You would never leave any loose ends.” He said.

“Oh? You know me now?” You teased, raising an eyebrow.

Seokmin’s smile just gets brighter, “Anyone with a pulse wouldn’t just let their loved one go without proper closure.” He replied.

Hearing someone refer to Yuju as your ‘loved one’ made your skin tingle and it doesn’t help that you were aware of your feelings for her now. Some part of you wants to be hopeful and end all of this with Yuju by your side, but then once again, fear strikes you. Would Yuju be really happy with you finally opening up to her? Isn’t it too late for that? Did she actually mean it earlier when she looked at you like you were everything she was hoping to see at that time?

And were you actually prepared for all of this?

“She never stopped talking about you,” Seokmin blurted. Something about the atmosphere was making you feel strange, so you awkwardly looked around before paying attention to your friend once again. “For a long time, the only thing that came out of her mouth was your name.” The boy continued, taking out the unwanted pickles in his sandwich. You tilt your head to the side, wondering why this was so awkward for you.

“It was borderline obsession but she was cute so I looked past that.” Seokmin admitted, sighing blissfully.

“Can we stop talking about her like she passed away? Like I’m pretty sure she’s eavesdropping on us right now.” You said, once again looking around you trying to find someone who was not even there.

Seokmin laughs, “What I meant to say was… you mean a lot to her, and I can assure you that all she wants right now is not even an apology, or an explanation, but a simple ‘hi’. Literally just look at her and she’ll be happy for the next few days.”

You couldn’t say anything to that, partly because most of what Seokmin said didn’t really stay in your brain. I should probably talk before it gets weird again.

“Are you… okay? With all of this?” You asked.

Seokmin puts his sandwich down, and he doesn’t respond. He was actually thinking hard about it while you sit there, anxiously waiting for his answer. You would willingly back off if Seokmin still has feelings for Yuju because all that matters to you at the moment was getting back on good terms with her.

I think.

As if Seokmin could tell what you were thinking, he addresses it. “There’s… really no point in holding on anymore.” He said with a sad smile.

“That’s not… true. She could fall for you after all of this.” You replied. It felt strange hearing yourself say that out loud.

Seokmin laughed again, then he started shaking his head. You couldn’t tell if he was sad or angry. Maybe both, but probably not. “No, no. That girl is completely in over her head for you.” And you knew that. You just didn’t want to find out just how much. Too much love will kill you or whatever. Also you get flustered really easily.

You took a bite out of your sandwich, “Did you ever try with her?” You asked. Alright, maybe asking that was too much but I’m nosy.

“Yeah but… either she’s unbelievably slow or she wanted to let me down easily by constantly… friend-zoning me.” Seokmin said. You wince, ouch. It didn’t look like Seokmin was bothered with it. Actually, he looked like he was merry about it all. It was weird because one would think that he would be miserable, but that was not the case.

(Of course you’d never think of it, but Seokmin was more happy about the fact that his two precious friends are going to be okay.)

Seokmin smirks as you drink your water, “Hey, at least you’re going to get some.” His words nearly made you spit out your drink, but when he lightly kicked your ankle as a tease you spilled water on your uniform.

Rather than getting angry about your now soiled shirt, you attempt to clear the air. “I’m talking to her to stop her from getting devoured by our common enemy! Not to get in her pants, God.” Who in their right mind would even try to use Yuju’s innocence to their advantage? A part of you is starting to doubt Seokmin’s infatuation towards Yuju. Did he really like her?

“Right, right. You might wanna clean yourself up though.” Seokmin gestured to your clothes. Well, this is just great. I don’t have a spare shirt. I’m probably gonna have to borrow the ones they have at the office with the school’s catchphrase and mascot on it.

You stood up from your seat and as you headed towards the library doors, you muttered some curses and threats to literally everything out of annoyance. Seokmin smiles as he watches you go, finally content that the two of you were friends again.

“Don’t spread to my skirt, don’t spread to my skirt, don’t spread to my skirt…” You chanted while running towards the nearest restroom. You earned several looks from students who were passing by and you have never been more embarrassed. Why didn’t I think of covering myself up at least?! Darn you, Seokmin!

As you neared the closest restroom you could find in the area, you heard a couple of muffled voices coming from inside the restroom. You couldn’t decipher the words you were barely hearing, but when you reached the entrance of the restroom, you recognized one of the voices inside. You could never really not know who that voice belongs to.

Jennie.

You considered turning back, not wanting to see the girl and deal with her for who-knows-how-long, but her next words stopped you from walking away.

“...just because you and (Y/N) had fun for a little while.”

Immediately, you pushed the door open with way too much force than you intended and entered the restroom. Jennie wasn't the only person inside, obviously. Her friends were there too: Jisoo, Chaeyoung, and Lisa. But there was another girl in the bunch. Someone who looked just a little bit out of place. The girl who has been clouding your mind ever since the first time you saw her today. I was right.

“(Y/N)...” Yuju stands by the farthest sink in the place. It looked like the other four girls were cornering her, but you weren’t sure of what was happening or what happened prior to this moment. It took you all your might to get a hold of yourself, not wanting to jump the gun. If they did anything to her… if they touched even one fucking strand of hair on her head…

“How nice of you to join us. We were just talking about you,” Jennie says with a sly smile. You avoid Yuju’s stare by looking at Jennie. Cute as ever but what the fuck does she want? “I was wondering if you’d like to come over to my place sometime this week. We have a lot to do.”

Oh, you know exactly what that meant. Somebody found out? Was it Yuju? Is that why they’re all over her right now?

You were about to go along and get dragged away without saying a word to the girl you actually wanted to talk to, but something inside you screamed at you to not do that. Get this over with. Get this over with.

“No thanks.” You deadpanned. You slipped in between Lisa and Chaeyoung, muttering a small ‘excuse me’ as you made your way towards Yuju.

Jennie stops you from walking any further towards the other girl, “You’re really going to fight this?” She asked.

“I’m not your pet, Jennie. Nobody is,” You turned around to face her again with newfound confidence. I was never anyone’s pet. Why did I even let her threats control me? I’m (Y/N) for God’s sake! I don’t answer to anyone. Stupid. “And for the record, I think it’s pretty douchey to keep hiding it as if no one’s gonna find out about it in less than two weeks. Why try to stop the inevitable?” You asked.

Jennie clenches her fists, however, she doesn’t say anything. You had a point, and she wasn’t going to try and fight that.

“I suggest that you clear the rumors before it gets out of hand. Grow the hell up and take responsibility. Trust me, it’s good for you.” You glance at your right arm which has long healed and recovered to its glory. “I know it was for me. See you never, Jen.”

The sophisticated girl scoffed, “You’ve grown soft, (Y/N). You’ll never survive here.” She said. And with that, she and her friends left without saying anything else, but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her words. For fuck’s sake, we’re in high school! The worst you can do to someone is throw their textbook on the ocean and make them pay hundreds of dollars for it even though it wasn’t their fault.

Yuju fidgets with the ends of her sleeves, unsure of what to do now that she was alone with you. You were feeling the same. How do you even start talking to her? Maybe the best thing to do right now is see if they did anything to her. With that in mind, you cautiously took several steps towards the taller girl. Yuju had her head hung low, what’s wrong?

You raised your hand, but stopped halfway. Is this the right thing to do? Can I even do this? All of your doubts were washed away when your eyes met Yuju’s hopeful ones, and you continued your action. You carefully brushed Yuju’s hair away from her face, and you expected to see her perfect like always, but there was a cut on her cheek and it made you see red so quickly.

“Did they do this?” You asked, clenching your jaw. I knew they wouldn’t leave her without a scratch!

“No, they didn’t—”

“Then who did?” You cut her off.

“(Y/N)—” Again.

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll find them and then I’ll—” This time, Yuju keeps you from talking by taking your hand and squeezing it tightly, snapping you out of your little cloud of rage. At least it calmed you down a little, and it totally distracted you from the fact that your soaked shirt was the reason you came in here in the first place.

“Do you… have a bandage with you?” Yuju asked. She didn’t move her hand. Good.

You nodded timidly, “I have some.” You replied. Since you get in fights way too often, your brother has advised you to keep several bandages inside your jacket and your backpack just in case you start bleeding. Now you were finally going to put them to use after a while.

While you fished through the inner pockets of your jacket, Yuju waits patiently, and then she finally notices that you were completely soaked with water. “What happened to you?” The tall girl asked. You hummed questioningly, not quite hearing what she said as you were busy and when you looked up, Yuju was completely dazed. Realizing that she had been staring rather inappropriately, Yuju’s face quite literally heats up. Is that how I look when I get flustered?

“I was eating lunch with Seokmin and… it’s a long story actually, don’t worry about it.” You said, waving your hand. Finally, you got a hold of several bandages and you handed them to Yuju with a proud smile on your face. Looking down at the colorful bandages, colorful and cute animal bandages, Yuju fails to prevent a giggle from coming out of her mouth.

You pouted, “What? Don’t you think they’re cute? Look at this it’s got an excited puppy hugging a sleepy puppy!” You exclaimed as you pointed at the tan colored one. Yuju could only nod, handing you back your favorite one and putting the others on her backpack for future uses. I hope there’s never a time where she has to use all of those.

“Yes, yes, you’re adorable. Could you put that on me, please?” Yuju asked, leaning her face closer to yours.

“I was talking about the dogs… but whatever.” You muttered. There was no point in arguing with Yuju about these kinds of things because if you learned from when you were still friends, you always end up as a blushing mess after every fight about cute things. How does she even do that? Maybe you’re really just that much of a softie.

Or, well, maybe it’s because of Yuju.

You held Yuju’s chin in your hand to keep her face steady, and you noticed that blood was starting to drip down from the cut. You wiped it off slowly, careful to not touch the wound and hurt Yuju. You stared at the taller girl’s (beautiful) face, familiarizing yourself with her features once again and this time, you didn’t exactly flinch when her eyes fluttered open all of a sudden.

As you stared down at your hand with Yuju’s blood on it, you were reminded of a similar scene months ago, although the situation was so, so much worse.

That’s when everything started to come back to you again. Flashing neon lights that were suddenly blinding, deafening bad music, and more than ten pairs of eyes watching you, judging you, horrified of you. And then finally, the heavy atmosphere that made it hard for you to breathe and nearly suffocated you before you finally ran out of the room, away from everyone’s watchful eyes… and the one unconscious body on the floor where you had just been standing.

“(Y/N), hey,” Yuju snaps you out of your train of horrible thoughts. She noticed how you reacted to her blood, she took it upon herself to wipe it off and get you back to reality. “I’ll do it.” She whispered, smiling and reaching for the bandage in your hand, but you pulled your hand back.

She has to know what I did, she has to hear it from me.

Somehow, Yuju caught on to what you were thinking. “I’m not… going to push you anymore. I know what happens when I do that.” Maybe she's psychic. She tries to take the bandage again, but you still pulled away and it made her sigh deeply.

You shake your head, “Not this time.” You said. Once again, you took her chin and tilted her face up. Goosebumps spread across your skin when Yuju rested one of her hands at your hip, and the way she stared at you made you sick to your stomach, in a good way. You raised the bandage close to Yuju’s face, and then you finally covered the wound, gently pressing the bandage so that it attaches to her soft skin.

Yuju doesn’t say anything for a while, and neither do you as you were trying to collect your thoughts. Maybe this wasn’t the ideal situation, since you always imagined that you would be telling her somewhere that was not a school restroom, but she’s here right now, willing to listen. She will always be willing to listen, but if you don’t tell her now, will you ever be able to?

That was a question that ran circles inside your brain for a while. It felt like you were taking forever thinking about it but of course, Yuju stayed patient, even going as far as to not say anything about the muffled sound of the bell ringing from the hallways. Sighing heavily, you pry her hand away from your hip and take a step back.

The more you thought about it, the more you came to terms with the fact that there was never going to be a perfect moment for something like this. And again, you were reminded that it really doesn’t matter if you don’t tell her now or not because she will find it out, especially after you’ve given Jennie a piece of your mind. You remind yourself that she has to hear the story from your perspective, and then leave her to think hard about and decide what to think of you after everything.

It’s a simple job… but with extreme risks.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to get it over with, as you always told yourself whenever you faced a big dilemma.

“A few weeks into the new school year, Jennie decided to throw a stupid party since we’re all in seniors and it might be the last time we can have fun,” Yuju’s head snaps up once you start talking. Then you find yourself chuckling at your words, she was right about that at least. “She invited a lot of her friends, and some other rich students in the school. There were also these older kids, I think they were in college. They got there much earlier than I did. By the time I joined the fun, pretty much everyone was buzzed.” You said. You remember being disgusted at how every corner of the room that day reeked of alcohol and sweat.

“I was roaming around in the kitchen, looking for something decent to eat when I noticed this one girl staring at me and you know I had to talk to her about that,” You continued. Yuju nodded, and you truly hoped that she wasn’t thinking about it the wrong way. She knows that I meant that I had to confront the girl, right? Because of my temper? Please tell me she knows that. “I thought she was judging me but it turns out she was just interested, and I was super bored so I decided to play along.” Then you looked at yourself in the mirror for a brief second, attempting to prepare yourself as the turning point of that whole situation replays in your head for the umpteenth time.

“One thing led to another and suddenly she was all over me. I didn’t mind it, she was pretty. But… some people still had problems with girls hooking up,” You clenched your fist at the memory. This is it. Come on, (Y/N). Yuju stands closer to you, offering her support and comfort with her presence, but this time it wasn’t working so well. Again, you were scared because you had a feeling that she won’t be so close to you anymore when you start talking again. Still, you push through it, having had enough of dragging it on. “There was this guy, um, he was wasted as hell and he was saying stuff. You know me, I get riled up easily but I had to remind myself that he was drunk. He didn’t know what kind of messed up bullshit he was saying, right? But then he started touching the girl I was with and when I tried to tell him to go away… he said that word.”

You didn’t have to look at Yuju to know that she understood what you were saying. The longer the moment replays in your head, the more you got confused as to why Jennie worked so hard to hide it in the first place. Who was that guy to her? She would’ve rather allowed me, her literal friend and schoolmate, to get hurt rather than disciplining that guy!

“I don’t know. I lost it. As soon as the word fell from his stupid mouth, I didn’t waste another second and decked him in the face. Then I did it again. And again, and again, and I didn’t stop until a couple of other kids pulled me away,” You release a shaky breath as the image of the older guy laying on the floor flashed in your head. You remember looking down at your hands covered in his blood, then the eyes, and everything else. Your chest started getting heavy as the weight of your actions started settling in. “I could’ve killed that guy.” You said with your voice quivering.

Slowly, Yuju takes both of your hands and pulls you into her. You allowed yourself to melt into her embrace, appreciating her warmth that managed to chase away some of the horrific feelings inside your chest. However, you were immediately reminded of the situation and you pulled away from the taller girl quickly.

You chuckled bitterly, “Scared of me yet?” You asked. It was meant to be a joke question, but you secretly hoped that she would answer honestly and seriously, even if the worst of your predictions about this discussion ends up being the outcome.

“A little,” Yuju admitted. Your heart squeezes within itself just a little bit and every breath you took was like a needle poking at it, making everything hurt just a tad bit more. “But you did that to protect yourself, and the girl. He was harassing her, plus he literally called you a slur.”

Are there any right words for you to say after that? Somehow it felt like the conversation was over, but the heaviness stayed in your chest and now Yuju’s presence only gave you anxiety rather than comfort. You nodded to yourself, suddenly remembering that you had a class to attend and totally forgetting about your shirt that has now dried after minutes of being left alone.

“Right…” You muttered. What are we supposed to do now?

“Does it feel lighter?” Yuju suddenly asks. You looked up at her, confused. She steps forward and puts her hand on your chest, where your heart was. “Right here.” She said. Oh.

“No,” You shook your head, taking her hand and letting it fall down to your side with yours. What was she going to do with that information? Did she really just want to know because she wanted to understand you better? Suddenly, you didn’t get Yuju’s motives, but that was something you felt like you had to think about while laying in your bed and staring at your boring empty ceiling. “I feel sick.”

Yuju hums, “You’ve been bottling all of that in a while. I wanted to… free you from it, but I thought I had to know every single thing before I try to do anything about it. I’m sorry if I… pressured you.” She says, laying her head low. Has she always known that something was bothering me? Is that why she got interested in the first place? A lot of questions filled your head and when you opened your mouth to ask her one, the door suddenly flew open and you remembered that yes, you were in a public space.

And that the two of you were at least half an hour late to your classes.

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” You said and dragged the taller girl out of the restroom before the student that entered noticed anything that was out of the blue. Yuju only lets you lead her through the hallways because you were holding her hand, and nothing makes her happier than seeing you being so close to her.

How do we even recover from any of this? I can’t just suddenly talk to her about my feelings after all the things I just dumped on her.

Wait.

That’s right. I do have feelings for her.

As you tread the empty hallways, you realized that you had no idea where you were even trying to go. Since you were late to your class, you didn’t feel like going anymore but as for Yuju… well, things might be different. You looked over your shoulder, only to see the taller girl looking at you like she hadn’t seen you in forever. Some part of that is true considering the amount of time you were apart from each other.

But a sly smirk makes its way onto your face because at some point, you knew that Yuju looked at you whenever you were in the same space, even if she made effort to avoid you too back then.

“Are you sure you’re fine wearing your uniform? That was wet, you know. You could get sick.” Yuju says with the utmost concern.

You nodded, “It’s alright. It’s dry now and I’m not—”

“Made of glass, yes. It’s a famous saying from you.” Yuju finishes your sentence, or more like she cuts you off, wearing a teasing smile.

You shoot her a playful glare, “You, Yerin and SinB… and probably Seokmin too. You all use my own words against me.” You said, letting out a dramatic long sigh of defeat. It does get tiring dealing with a couple of smartasses for friends, but you love them all the same. Speaking of Seokmin… I should probably get my stuff back. My poor sandwich is still in the library.

“I’m glad you guys are talking again.” Yuju mentions. You nodded, you felt the same. Although you didn’t imagine that the first time you and the boy have a proper conversation ends up with you spilling water all over your uniform but at the same time, it felt fitting that it would be like that.

“Did he ever ask you again?” You asked.

Yuju turns her head at you, utterly muddled, “Ask me out?” She repeated.

“Yeah. Remember when he approached you before lunch time? He was hoping to take you out on a date, did he ever do that again?” You were genuinely curious.

“No? I mean, I don’t think so. How would I know?” Yuju shrugs. It just dawned on you that she might’ve been oblivious of Seokmin’s feelings all along. You felt bad for your friend, but then again if you told him about it he would laugh with you.

“You are unbelievable, Yuju. You’re telling me that for three months you didn’t notice that he had a big crush on you?” You questioned her again.

“He did not! And why would I look at someone else when you’re around?” Yuju tries to flirt by winking at you. Yes, the charm worked but you weren’t going to let her get away with that.

“Stop changing the subject. He totally— wait, this isn’t the way to the library.” You said as you looked around at the familiar and yet unfamiliar surroundings. You were able to identify that you and Yuju had somehow landed in the science hallway of the building though. Yuju lets go of your hand and looks out the big windows, staring at the flowers down at the garden and letting herself be mesmerized by nature’s beauty, and totally ignoring the fact that the two of you had gotten lost while chatting.

This was where you first told her your name, and where you messed with her. Back then she was completely dazed at the flowers too, and you smiled at the familiarity of it all.

You crossed your arms over your chest, “You said you wouldn’t want to look at anything else while I’m around and yet you’ve forgotten about me. For flowers.” You joked.

Yuju hums, then she smiles but it wasn’t the kind of smile that made your heart flutter and filled your stomach with butterflies, it was a smile that told you that she was up to something. “Oh? So you admit that you don’t want me to look at anything else but you?” She asked, now walking towards you with that mischievous glint in her beautiful eyes. Fuck.

“H-How did you even make that connection?” You tried to avoid stuttering, but now Yuju was extremely close and somehow your feet got glued to the ground. Is this how she felt when I did it?!

“(Y/N),” Yuju’s tongue runs across her upper lip briefly, just like you did back then. You squint at her actions, finding her ridiculous while simultaneously feeling incredibly embarrassed at the thought of you probably looking stupid months ago. At least she looks nice doing it now. I was injured and it was my first day back from the hospital, I must’ve looked funny. “Would you like to talk about that?” The tall girl asked, her eyes darting from your flushed cheeks, to your nose, and then your lips.

You stifled a laugh, “Slow down. Save it for later, lovergirl.” You said, putting your hands on the other girl’s shoulders and gently pushing her back to create distance. One because you were close to combusting and two because you might’ve not been able to control yourself. The things you make me feel.

Yuju grins, “On that cute little coffee shop after school?” She asked, which you nodded your head to.

“Your treat.” You say with a smirk before turning around and walking back. This time, you were actually going to the library. Yuju jogs up beside you, still wearing a big smile on her face and she wraps her hand around yours.

“I don’t mind as long as it’s for you.”

“...”

“Oh my goodness, you let me finish!”

“Well, maybe we don’t always have to save the romantics for later.”

After screaming to your older brother a quick goodbye, you do your best to slip on your sneakers in record breaking time and run out of the house, not even bothering to tie up your shoelaces. If you even stop or slow down for half a second, you would miss your bus and it takes a whole hour for the next one to pass by your neighborhood and there was just something that was not right about arriving at school exactly on time. Maybe it was just you. It was probably just you.

As you sprint towards the bus stop, you noticed how cold it really was. It was weird considering how it was usually not always chilling whenever you went out on your usual routine. Did I not read the weather right? Oh, who am I kidding? The weather is always unpredictable.

When you arrived at your destination, you recognized a familiar face sitting at the bench quietly and when the girl spots you, she mirrors the same look of bewilderment as you walked closer to the bench. What is she doing here? And why so early in the morning?

“Yuna, babe,” After two weeks of dating, you realized that you didn't even know Yuju’s full name and she didn’t tell you because she thought that you knew. Apparently, her full real name was Choi Yuna, and even now that the two of you have been together for a month and a half, your girlfriend’s name still sounded as fresh and beautiful as it did when you first heard it. Hell, I can’t even believe she’s my girlfriend. Girlfriend! “What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Looks like somebody forgot that she will be riding the bus with her girlfriend to school this morning,” Yuju teased. You scratched your head, dumbfounded. Yeah, I did forget that. What the hell is wrong with me today? “And I think the real question is, what are you doing here? There’s at least a solid hour before you usually come out and catch the bus.” She said, pointing at her watch.

You furrowed your eyebrows, suddenly not knowing how time works. You pulled out your phone and your eyes almost fell out of their sockets when you confirmed that yes, your girlfriend was telling the truth. “Are you kidding me! I ran like hell to get here and I’m way too early!” You shouted and plopped down on the bench beside the taller girl.

Yuju coos when she sees you pout, “Aww, it’s okay, at least we get to spend more time together at the ass crack of dawn.” She said.

“Okay, but seriously, why are you here? Like, specifically right here at the bus stop?” You asked, ignoring your cheeks that were heating up. A month and a half and she still has this effect on you.

“I was actually on my way to your house to surprise you and all that but I got exhausted so I sat down here for a bit to rest. And then you came,” Yuju explained. Seeing the drained look on your face, she frowned. She then pulled you close, letting you rest your head on her shoulder while also holding her hand. Still gives me butterflies. “Did you even have breakfast?” Your girlfriend asks. She sighs when she feels you shake your head.

“Wanna walk to a bakery before the bus arrives?” Yuju smiles when you do, because nothing makes you feel better than eating bread at your favorite place with your favorite person.

“My treat this time, though.” You said as you stand up, pulling Yuju with you.

“Oh, you don’t have to.” Yuju said. The two of you started walking to your usual path to the nearest bakery shop. You’ve gone on countless dates in different places, but something about this particular bakery was special. The pastries were delicious of course and the short distance between it and your house was definitely a favor, but there was always something in the air whenever you and Yuju go there for a snack.

Ugh, I feel tingly thinking about it. But you loved it.

“Yes, I do,” You replied, momentarily stopping at your tracks. You have been thinking about it for a while. How you and Yuju got to where you are now, what it took for you and her to get here. But more specifically, this was about Yuju and how you are so genuinely thankful for her for being with you. “I realized that… you were the one that definitely got the worst end of this… whole thing between us. When we met, when we became friends, when we tried to sort things out about that thing, and pretty much every other stuff. I want to be good to you, like you’ve always been to me. And I know bread is nothing but I promise that there are greater things that I can do to make up for all the time you waited and dealt with me.” You confessed, running your thumb across the taller girl’s knuckles tenderly.

Is this enough? Probably not. I put her through a lot, and I will give her all the love she’s given me. Maybe more.

Definitely more.

Yuju doesn’t say anything. At first, she stares at you for a long time because how can she even respond to that? (She felt a lot of things inside. So much that she felt like she was going to explode if she tries to speak.) But then she cups your face with her hands and slowly, she pulls you in for a kiss.

It was quick, but it was enough to get the message across.

I love you more, Choi Yuna.

“Lean on me, right?” You whisper as she pulls back. She looked like she was about to cry, but she smiles at you and blinks the tears away. (You smile back at her, and Yuju feels like she was going to melt into a puddle the longer she stared.)

“That was sweet… but I was going to tell you that I have coupons we could use instead—”

“Oh, just let me be romantic!”

#gfriend imagines #gfriend scenarios #gfriend reactions #gfriend oneshots #gfriend x reader #yuju x reader #yuju imagines #yuju reactions #yuju oneshots #gfriend yuju #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #girl group reactions #girl group oneshots #girl group x reader

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yanderecandystore · 3 years

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Can I request a soulmate thingy with the bullies and delinquents?

Hi! Well, I got a little confused about your request but I think I got it, although I normally do one pair of ocs per post (or all ocs at once-) I guess I could do about both delinquents and bullies-

Especially since soulmate conundrums can be such a complex thing that it would take a long time to write one single post with every single OC lol-

Thank you for requesting!

TW/Tags: angst here and there // long as fuck // Soulmate shenanigans // not so great relationships (bullying) // cursing // delusional expectations/ideas // gender neutral reader

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Soulmate issues lol [Yandere!Bully OC/Yandere! Delinquent OC x Soulmate!Reader - Scenario]:

🎇 Let me set the stage for a quick sec!🎇

In this timeline, let us just say that something very specific happens to make it possible for two or more people to realize that they may be soulmates (cause I don't know how else I could create this universe boo XD). I think that two people that are soulmates would not be aware of it until they would be able to see each other's birthmarks, kinda like a magical symbol that is stuck on your skin ever since you were born.

In a reality where you are aware that you have a destined loved one possibly waiting for you and that it would be treason of you to not search for them, you could imagine how high your expectations were.

Well, not only your expectations but also the expectations of the entire society surrounding you, expecting you to simply accept whoever carries the same exact birth symbol as you.

Even if having a birthmark that dictates your future love interest is a common thing in your society, it doesn't mean that people just go around showing each other's birthmarks. It's believed that there is no need to rush things and that if you did find the love of your life, it's not because of the birthmark itself, but rather the spiritual connection between you two that brought you together unconsciously.

As I said before, your expectations were just as high as your hopes, as you wished to be able to meet the person who would "complete" you, the person carrying the soul of someone that had loved you through life and death, carrying the soul of the person YOU loved through life and death!

Now, how badly can this beautiful idealized narrative go?- I mean, consider your soulmates that is.

🍒Bullies🍭:

→ Alexandra Coldwell:

Alexandra is not exactly a patient person, you can imagine that the idea of having someone that would instantly fall in love with her was a really interesting idea, almost too good to be true.

Don't get me wrong, she believed this whole shenanigan to be unnecessary and dictating. She thought it was stupid to just start loving someone she doesn't know, and it's not like she is going to kiss some stranger's ass just because they have the same birthmark as her.

Ugh, that thing almost felt like some sort of bad tattoo she should have thought twice about having. It was a beautiful symbol, an elegant C' on emblem surrounded by thorns. Doctors believed that Alexandra could possibly be the reincarnation of one of her ancestors, since her birthmark is coincidentally similar to the old Coldwell family symbol used in the middle ages.

Although there isn't any evidence left of who was the "original owner" of the birthmark, neither of the people who they were destined to be with, which doesn't really matter to her at all, since she still thinks this "tattoo" was only a reminder of something stupid that she did that she doesn't want to be a part of it anymore.

Even after knowing that the possibility of seeing her "sOuLmATe" walking around town was possible, Alexandra never really cared about finding them. She preferred to have fun with as many people as she could instead of following her heart or whatever, she doesn't need anyone after all.

That's what she thought before noticing your birthmark. That symbol, that same exact symbol was placed on your skin, on YOU of all people. She has been bullying you ever since you entered the university but she had never EVER considered the possibility of you being her soulmate.

Even so, it does make a lot of sense! Ever since you entered the institution, you two had a weird connection that kept bringing each other closer although unconsciously. It felt like somehow she couldn't stop picking on you, and to you, it felt like there was no escape from her.

And it seems that your interpretation of your situation was correct, considering that now you are apparently bound to her with the same stupid destiny tattoo or whatever-

The fact that you are the one person she is bound to eternity is extremely humorous to her at first. It's both insulting and ironic that a nerd like you got the chance in a lifetime to be her soulmate, don't you feel lucky?

She will continue her bullying because obviously this is a great opportunity to show you your place, which is by her side no matter what you say or do. Alexandra believed that this was either a well crafted joke by the universe or just a cruel punishment to her, having someone like you be tied to her by love sounds so absurd…

And pretty fitting, in a way.

As time passed Alexandra started to grow closer to you, her bullying and general mean attitude had seemed to tone down as long as it was towards you. She seemed to have found a soft spot for you in her heart, but sadly, things don't always work like we plan them to.

You were disgusted by the fact ever since you realized it, how can you be stuck with her, of all people in the entire world? The soft feeling you get when you stand next to her doesn't help your case at all!-

Why of all people here, your bully has to be your soulmate? Maybe it was foolish of you to believe that when you finally found the one and only you would feel happy, maybe it was foolish for you to believe that the person you had fallen for once would be a actually gentle and caring person.

While Alexandra tried to get closer to you, you made your best efforts to get away from her as fast as you could. You didn't want to be near your bully specially when you just discovered that the reason you have continued to endure it for so long was because of the entire soulmate thing! Curse the stupid feelings that she gives you every time she is playful or soft towards you.

If you two had known each other in different conditions, this could all be a lot easier to deal with.

→ Adrien Coldwell:

Adrien may look pretty unbothered on the outside, yet that is nothing but a facade to keep his reputation from instantly falling as he squeals in excitement. This is perfect for him.

Differently from his sister, who has a symbol that is almost reminiscent of the old Coldwell brand mark and that has granted her the "special sibling of the dual" statues, Adrien has a somewhat weird birthmark. Is quite simply a shield with cherry on top. Is simple, pretty basic even.

There were no data associating his birthmark to anyone in his family, so presumably he isn't a possible reincarnation as his sister is, which lead the family to favor her over him since his birthmark has no resemblance of anything related to the family's history or is it intriguing or fun to look at.

It's a simple mark. What's so good about it?

And that's exactly what they got wrong, it was the exact opposite of a simple mark. It had a great meaning to Adrien, it meant something so important to him that he has sworn to search for his soulmate because of it. Because no one seemed to take his birthmark seriously he felt compelled to actually understand what it could mean, and how could he use it to get closer to his special someone.

His sister seemed to be the only one who noticed how the neglect affected Adrien to the point he decided to put up a mask and hide his need for even a little bit of attention.

I wouldn't bat an eye if he was the one to actually find out about you two sharing the same birthmark first. He has been stalking you and harassing you for so long, it would make sense as to why he feels so good when he is in your presence or interacting with you.

Granted that your earlier encounters were just him being an ass and being pretty rude to you in class, but now it's different you know??

He is so glad to have found you, finally- He got too excited to even show you that you two had the same symbol glued in your skins, he just started acting differently one day.

One day, while you were at the university he literally just gave you a small gift and called you out on a date. It was pretty frightening seeing someone who doesn't smile a lot trying to express fondness through their menacing looking grin, you had instantly thought it was some sort of elaborate prank yet you couldn't stop yourself from simply following with his plan.

You just felt compelled to go with him, despite the fact he has been nothing but a childish bully towards you. You can imagine the surprise on your face when he actually came to pick you up and have a great time chatting over a simple meal at a expensive ass restaurant you could never afford-

While you were being paranoid and trying to see where the "punchline", the "climax" of his prank was, he was enjoying his time with you not even noticing the fact you looked at him with suspicion written in your face.

You ended up spelling out your confusion and distrust of his person, claiming that you didn't know what he had in-store for you, but if this was some sort of prank he should just get it done with because you needed to be back home soon.

He was so shocked at your statement that he almost felt his heart breaking at your words, the sudden realization that he hasn't shown you why he was acting so kindly towards you in the first place.

And that's when the whole night went from confusing to horrible. You felt genuinely bad that the truth about his kindness wasn't because of a genuine change of heart, but rather because of your soul connection.

But that revelation wasn't as bad as when you actually notice you catching feelings for him throughout this time he has been a douche with you. You realized the exact reason why you came here, HE had realized the exact reason you came here.

You felt yourself panicking, leaving the restaurant immediately, how can you be his soulmate even if he is such a jerk with you??

How can you tell if these feelings are due to a genuine interest or just the connection through souls?

Why does it hurt to think he is only being kind because of the effects the birthmark has on him?

Even if the birthmark represents a strong bond that can't even be broken by death itself, you felt genuinely concerned for this being a disingenuous love. Yet that brings the question: Why do you care so much? Isn't he just an asshole you met in your class?

While you left crying confused of the sudden wave of questions clouding your mind, Adrien was feeling that our void consumed him.

Apparently he was wrong about his expectations, he shouldn't have thrown a bomb at you so suddenly. Or maybe, you don't really love him at all, and don't want anything to do with him.

There is nothing left but a poor foolish man crying while making no sound in his fancy table.

🍋Delinquents🐛:

→ Jackson Macnee:

Not exactly the most obvious romantic lover in the world, Jack can be pretty "whatever" when it comes to these things. He didn't really believed in the idea of love at first sight, although he is the type to get instant crushes really fast-

Jack's birthmark it's surprisingly cool looking, a snake coiling itself on a branch. It's so funny how it looks like a natural tattoo, he even decided to not hide it at all since he liked the look of it. It's not uncommon for people to leave their birthmarks visible, but in the case of Jack he used to wear it in public as a real tattoo rather than a soulmate birthmark.

Whenever someone asked about it, he would lie saying it wasn't the real deal, and when it came to people asking "which one is it then?" he would tell them to fuck off. It's none of their fucking business, it's supposed to be a intimate thing, isn't it?

Jack believed that the symbol was something way too important to be shared out as a talking subject, so much so that he has considered many times covering his birthmark in public due to the prying eyes looking at it. Yet he wore it as a tattoo so he could find someone who would recognize it as their own symbol, and whoever didn't recognize it, didn't deserve to hear the truth.

Yeah, maybe he did take this a little too seriously. I mean how couldn't he? It's something that dictates whoever the fuck he is supposed to be with, yeah people can go around and sleep with or date whoever they want, yet he felt compelled to wait and see what would happen.

To see if someone in the crowd would recognize it and talk with him, so he could see how this whole shenanigan works. And of course, his plan did work out eventually, as he caught you staring at him for way too long.

He thought you were confusing him with someone else, but having someone like you stare at him for so long was starting to annoy him- So of course, he rudely asked you what the hell did you want.

You were surprised by the harsh tone, yet not completely taken back by it. You seemed confident that his "tattoo" was clearly the same birthmark that you had.

You… Surprised him. You were so confident and comfortable with telling a total strangeville that you two were destined to be together or whatever. It's not everyday that you see someone so straightforward, so he decided to see how far this would go- He asked:

"- And…?"

"- I don't know- I haven't thought about it to be honest-" You said looking at him deadpanned. You were telling the truth though, you didn't really expect to find not only a person with a similar birthmark to you but to legit be right about them being your soulmate. You had met so many people with the "snake coiled in a branch" tattoo that you almost thought it was some sort of joke from the universe (it shouldn't even be possible for so many people to have the same coincidental tattoo!).

You started to introduce yourself and ask for his name and where he was going- It felt weird to be receiving so much attention out of nowhere by someone he doesn't know- Well, more accurately someone he had just met but still feels like he knows for years.

If you're so interested to know him and… I don't know, do whatever soulmates are supposed to do- He can totally do that right about now-

I mean, he doesn't have anything to do right now, and although he may not show it he is kinda interested to see how this will work out. It's clear that there is something that connects you two yet he would prefer to get to know what type of person you are. Even if he is low-key already digging this nonchalant attitude from you, he is a little worried that you may be a little gremlin in disguise.

Jack acts so careful around you that sometimes it's hard to tell if he is enjoying himself or if he just genuinely doesn't trust you for some reason. Even if he is loving every second of getting to know you, the lack of affection being expressed from his part makes you question if this is really what destiny has instore for you.

Hopefully he'll be able to open himself up before you think this won't work out at all.

→ Janette Sartorius:

Janette is a hopeless romantic woman. It doesn't help that her whole entire life she grew up dreaming about this moment.

Her birthmark is simplistic yet it meant the entire world to her-. A sword stuck on a rock as the laces that decorate the sword fly in the wind. It really did look like a tattoo, some people had even questioned her if that was her real birthmark or just a tattoo she made to look cool.

To some it may seem like a cool little symbol to have on her skin, yet to her it feels like there is something more to it. A meaning, a dream, a memory perhaps?

Ever since she was young she loved the stories of knights and princesses, she started to associate that image of the sword with that dream of being someone else's knight. It was charming to her and it seemed like she hasn't grown out of that phase ever since.

The first impression is the one that lasts, right? So the only way to meet her darling is to have a big entrance. It's not like she isn't ready at any time, it's just that she hoped that for all the good luck in world to not make her look stupid infront of whoever had the same birthmark as her.

Fortunately for her, her wishes were granted as in a brilliant moment of pure fucking convinient plot coincidence as she not only managed to impress you, but to also feel like the knight she so badly wanted to be.

She got her glorious moment after defending you from another classmate that was harassing you, to which she only got to enjoy after she looked over at you and not only instantly thought you looked pretty hot in her eyes and also saw that familiar image on the back of your hand.

It was pretty much love at first sight, which was literally bound by the universe to happen. I mean, can't you see this?? This perfect scene, the fact that she didn't need to look at your birthmark to see how gorgeous you were and to even be able to help you get up-

It was perfect! It felt perfect, it was even better than what she had dreamed of. The only thing to spoil this sweet moment between soon to be lovers was the bell ringing and you turning your back and running to class after whispering a shy "thank you bye". She couldn't even say her name, or ask your name, or even show you her own birthmark!

The only thing you left was a tiny notepad you forgot to pick up. There were scribbles here and there talking about some class assignments and source material for your studies.

It felt like you were Cinderella running away and leaving the crystal heel so she could pick it up and find you later on. It made her heart flustered at the comparison, it was all coming along so well.

She recognized which was the subject that your notepad was referring to, and soon went to find your class where she could hopefully find you and give it back.

But when she reached your class at lunchtime she didn't find you anywhere inside, only a couple of your classmates were there. She asked everyone she could to see where you were, like she was interrogating them over a crime scene because of how desperate she looked.

It felt like an endless chase to find you, people had given her vague or useless information over and over again. Some were playing a prank on Janette and others genuinely didn't know enough about you to know where you could be.

From the information she gathered around, you were a silent study all day type of person. She heard that you didn't enjoy it at all but you felt the need to try your hardest to be able to pass in your exams. Janette heard that you were shy and tended to keep yourself away from genuinely getting involved with people, which led to people considering you a weirdo and to bullying you over this.

It was a terrible reason to treat someone so loveable so badly yet it didn't surprise her since the institution was an absolute mess, if delinquents like her can go around and burn shit down, then clearly that was something wrong with the educational system.

Yet she didn't give up even for a second, she needed to find you, she needed to talk with you and tell you about your destiny together (and trying not to sound so desperate as she was-). Her efforts were compensated by finally finding you and being able to give you the notepad back.

It was so heartwarming to hear you say thank you again and being able to introduce herself properly, yet there was something different about this conversation. You seemed… worried of her presence, disturbed by it, concerned of her being so close and breathless next to you.

She thought you were startled by the sudden approach, after all you were a shy ball, right? That's why- That's why you got so shocked when she said you two were meant for each other, right? That's why you seemed so surprised after she showed you her birthmark.

O-Of course you weren't distancing yourself out of fear, right? Even if your eyes look so freaked out, it was probably because of how sudden the situation was right?

You didn't actually fear her, right? She knows she can be a bit intimidating, but-

But there is no way you're afraid of your own soulmate, right? There is no way she is scaring her own darling away, that was impossible…

You didn't mean it when you said you were "too busy with studying to think about getting a relationship", did you? She- She must had heard it wrong-

What type of fuckin excuse is that?? What moron says that to a person who they're literally bonded with forever?!

Janette was visibly shaking, her expression was of pure anger which didn't really surprise you as you expected her to get mad at such a terrible excuse. You didn't lie about being busy studying, you lied about not wanting to date her because of it. You were afraid of her because of her reputation, you didn't want anything to do with a delinquent, or a leader of a biker gang, or anyone so hot headed for that matter! It was ironic how your soulmate was literally the one person you wanted to be away from, even if you did feel a little more protected in her presence.

Actually, you would be lying if that encounter wasn't so… Romantic, in a way.

Yet it doesn't help that just the idea of getting rejected is making her look so violent, she hasn't even spoken anything or even raised her hand, yet there is a clear "nope" flag hanging over her head- You didn't say no! You just- You just don't know how you feel about this, is too sudden-

You fail to find the right words to tell her and hopefully calm her down, instead you just cowardly distance yourself and slowly slipping your back against the wall so you can make yourself seem smaller, unconsciously trying to showcase how terrified you were and how you you literally regretted every word that had ever come on out of your mouth.

Of course she was mad, but more because of the situation than of you actually- I mean, she has been waiting for this moment her whole life! How… How can anyone say something like that to their own soulmate for fucks sake?! How can you not feel the same spark that she feels by just talking with you? Is she in the wrong for wanting to jump straight to the "Happy ever after" of your story together? Maybe she is coming off way too strong about this, is this why you're being so stubborn?

When she manages to calm herself before saying something she would regret it, the look that you give her tells her that she really, really messed up this introduction part.

It hurts her to think you're scared of her, yet what hurts more is the fact she almost screwed this whole up for you two, you just need… some time to know her, right? To understand her, and so she can understand you.

She'll try to comfort you, yet is clear that she isn't the best at comforting people, but- But please! Please let her try!!

Let her try to be your knight in shining armour, dearest.

Even if you don't like the idea of spending time with her, I think you don't have a say in the matter. You'll stay by her side and you will see how you two were made for each other, you'll see.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #sheep stuff #yandere oc #sheep's stuff #yandere x reader #yandere bully #yandere twins #yandere oc headcanon #yandere delinquent #yandere bully x reader #yandere delinquent x reader #yandere soulmate au #special delivery headcanons #special delivery request #yandere scenario #yandere ocs scenarios #yandere scenarios

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