#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kxsalt · 10 days

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An evening of laughter over dinner. The young lady sits at the table with a couple, sharing wine and stories. Ever since the pair had moved back into the city, she had quickly grown very close to her friend and her new husband. From the first time she saw them together, the single girl thought they were a perfect couple. She watches them share a kiss with a pang of jealousy and another emotion her inexperienced soul can’t quite describe yet.

A week later the girl rides the train home after a terrible date. The woman had no romantic intentions and was only interested in selling health supplements. Already exhausted, she opens her dating app to see a hundred shirtless men holding fish. She closes it again with a frustrated grunt. The girl arrives at her station and starts to make her way through the crowd.

Up ahead, in the throng of people, she spots her newlywed friend. Her heart jumps, and she pushes through the mob to try and get close to her. I can’t wait to tell her about my horrible date. Maybe she’ll want to hear about it over dinner again. That unfamiliar feeling returns. Getting closer, her friend steps out of the human traffic, standing with a man she doesn’t recognize. The girl is only a few metres away, but invisible among the other passengers.

She watches her friend pull the strange man in for a kiss.

Disbelieving her own eyes, the girl freezes. Even as annoyed people bump into her, she watches, mouth agape as the married woman makes out with the stranger.

What am I seeing. I must be crazy. She wouldn’t cheat on him, they’re both perfect… for each other. I must have this person mistaken for my friend.

The kiss breaks and the woman laughs. A laugh as unique as a fingerprint. The girl sees every detail of her smile.

Oh god, it is her. Why me? What am I going to do?

She returns to her empty apartment, feeling strangely heartbroken. Her husband is an amazing man, doesn’t he deserve to know? Is it none of my business? How could she do this? The next few days are torment. Wracked with guilt from her involuntary secret, she decides to take the unenviable step of telling him about his wife’s infidelity. I have to. It would hurt him more if I didn’t tell him. And it would help her in the end. That unfamiliar feeling cracks through her fear.

Arriving at the couple’s home, the girl feels like she’s going to have a heart attack. Welcoming her in, the married man makes her a cup of tea. The girl is obviously distraught, and he tries his best to calm her down so she can talk. A word salad spills from her mouth, and she starts to cry as she explains what she saw. The man’s face falls as the girl becomes more overwrought. She finishes her story, looking at his soft, compassionate expression.

“I am so sorry that you saw that. I can see how upsetting this is to you. We were always worried that something like this would happen. I’m sorry it was you.”

The girl stops crying, disoriented by his response. She expected him to be angry, or sad, or devastated. But his only concern is for her. He doesn’t seem hurt in the slightest. The man brings her some tissues and encourages her to drink her tea. Sitting down beside her on the couch, he gently starts to explain.

“When we first started dating, we were seeing other people, too. It kind of just… never stopped. We felt comfortable with it, and we knew we wanted to be with each other… It’s changed a lot over the years. When we became official, we would give each other passes, for a date or a night of fun. Always equal. We agree on a pass, we each hook up with someone, and then we come back together. I know it’s unusual, but it works for us.”

The girl is bewildered by his explanation. He continues:

“When we got married, we knew it would change again. We both want to settle down, find a different way for us to do stuff like this without chasing random people. Actually, this pass is supposed to be the last time... Like that at least. I’m so sorry that you got so upset by what we’re doing. You’re a good friend, I know you care about both of us so much. I can see how that would terrify you.”

Her head swims, she stares at the wall. The adrenaline of her mission has worn off, replaced by confusion and embarrassment. He calls his wife and asks her to come home early, so they can explain everything together. A half hour later, she rushes through the door and envelops the young girl in a big hug. The couple holds hands while they answer her questions. The girl relaxes. Her heart warms when she sees them kiss, confirmation of their love.

Feeling as if she has intruded enough, she gets ready to leave. Excusing herself to the bathroom before she goes, the girl sits on the toilet pondering the night’s conversation.

Out of all the possible outcomes, this is the best I could have hoped for. She washes her hands. The best I could realistically hope for. The girl is confused by her own line of thinking. Anything better would be impossible. She dries her hands. What else could I wish for? The girl stares at herself in the mirror, that strange new feeling wells up inside of her, stronger than ever before.

Leaving the bathroom, she finds her friend waiting for her.

“Thank you for being so understanding… I know it’s a lot. I know you came here because you wanted what was best for us, even though it was scary. I admire that. He admires that. You’re a good friend.”

“Thanks, I’m sorry I got so far up in your business… Good luck now that you’re through the ‘giving out passes’ phase. I hope whatever you two do together brings you closer together.”

“Oh, well, we’re not quite done with the pass thing yet.” She subtly points into the living room. “He hasn’t used his pass yet.”

“Ah, well, if I see him with a girl I won’t come crying to you. Haha.”

“Haha, yeah. I mean he could use it with whoever he wanted to. That’s how it works.”

“Right, you explained that earlier.”

An awkward pause drags through the conversation.

“Do you want to stay for dinner tonight?”

“I feel like I already overstayed my welcome.”

“You haven’t. I feel like we should make it up to you.”

“Uh, maybe? I don’t know.”

“I want you to fuck my husband.”

The conversation screeches to a halt. The girl stares at her friend, dumbfounded. They start to talk over one another. You don’t think I’ve been trying to sleep with him, do you? No, I just thought you might like to try it. I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble. It’s no trouble. Wouldn’t it be weird? I don’t think so. Does he even want to? He’s brought it up before. Isn’t that weird? I brought it up first. I’m wearing ugly underwear. I could let you borrow something.

“I’m afraid it would feel like cheating.”

“I could watch, to support you. So you know it’s okay.”

The young lady’s heart almost leaps from her chest. Why did that convince me? At a loss for words, she nods her head.

Standing naked in the couple’s bedroom, she paws through her friend’s clothing. A mixture of fear and excitement whirs though her mind. Taking out a tiny pink thong, she slips it on and steps in front of the mirror. Her familiar emotions mix with the unfamiliar ones. Why does it feel so hot, wearing her lingerie?

A knock at the door, her friend enters. “You look beautiful.” The young girl blushes unexpectedly at the compliment. “My husband will love you. Are you ready?” Another emotion, another nod, more confident this time. She summons her husband.

He gives her a kind smile as he walks into the room. A loving peck on his partner’s cheek, and the man steps towards the new girl. His arms wrap around her waist and their lips touch. They surprise each other with a deep, passionate kiss. Their tongues flirt, their noses rub, their hands roam. His kisses work down her cheek, and into her neck. The girl gasps and looks over to his wife. Relief and joy as she sees her gorgeous smile. His wife’s lips move, whispering. Keep going.

Eager to please them, she reaches down to feel his cock bulge in his pants. The man groans and returns the favour, grasping her wet pussy through the skimpy thong. They touch each other, faster and faster, kissing open and free. She unzips his pants and starts to stroke his cock. He lifts up his shirt so she can see him. His body looks better than I ever imagined.

Dropping to her knees, she takes him in her mouth. The faint taste of his precum overpowers her senses. Fingering herself wildly through her friend’s tiny underwear, the girl does everything she can to make him feel good. Glancing over at his wife, she sees her rubbing her bare pussy. She’s lifted up her dress to touch her breasts, too. Her body looks better than I ever imagined.

The trio are thoroughly excited. Nobody can wait for what comes next. He lifts the girl up and tosses her onto the bed. She spreads her legs and pulls the thong to the side. The husband pushes her legs up against her chest. “Oh god, it looks so good.” The wife chimes from her spot in the corner. He rubs his hard cock against her exposed pussy. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

The tip, the head, half way, all the way. There’s no going back now. The married man’s cock stretches out the single girl’s pussy, and they exhale. Enjoying the warmth of his wife’s friend’s body, he starts to stroke his cock in and out of her. The girl trembles, getting used to his size. The wife gasps, rubbing her clit as fast as she can. They fuck each other, making out while the tension releases. The girl is overwhelmed by pleasure and excitement. She starts to encourage her friend.

“Your husband’s cock is so big! Ah~! It’s so good! Ah~! So big… Ah~! Your husband is fucking me so… Ah~! Good!”

“You like that, you dirty little slut?”

“Yes, I love it.”

The couple on the bed roll over. The girl takes his hands and puts them on her ass. A firm grip, and he pulls on her bumcheeks. So he can get deeper. So she can see every inch enter her. She bounces on his dick, thrilled at the thought of how little her friend’s thong is hiding. She feels her orgasm build inside of her. Quickening her pace, the girl will finish soon.

The sounds of a woman cumming fill the room. The couple look over at the wife, helplessly masturbating as she fingers herself to completion. They look back to each other, grinning. “Now it’s my turn…” The girl giggles, playing with her clit while his strong hands pull her up and down on his cock. They kiss passionately again. The girl cums on his married dick, picking up where his wife left off. Pushed over the edge by their chorus, he fills her sweet pussy.

They lie there for what could be an hour, could be a few minutes. The girl slowly climbs off of him, and walks past his wife, also basking in the glow of her orgasm. She heads down the hall, back to the bathroom, to wash up after their encounter. Looking at herself in the mirror again, her unfamiliar feelings beat in her chest. An epiphany strikes her. Like a ray of light through the clouds, she understands herself.

Stepping back into the hallway, his wife is waiting for her again.

“I really, really, enjoyed that… I hope you did, too.”

“It was almost perfect.”

The girl walks up to her. She wraps her hands around her waist. Their lips meet, they kiss. They push back into each other, letting the taste of their first embrace waft through them.

Their fingers touch. Holding hands, tugging lightly, they walk each other back to the bedroom.

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janus-cadet · 24 days

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This card is brighter than the one I usually do- might even be the most colorful of the whole deck, so far! Which- fitting. Today, let's welcome Charlie Morningstar and Vaggie, double figures for the Ten of Cups!

(Now usually, the card also have one or two more people on it; I thought about adding Pentious, but our snake should have his card soon enough. Therefore, it's just the girls.)

Explanations under the cut, as well as a poll for the next card to draw, and the rest of the Hazbin tarot cards!

Upright, the Ten of Cups embodies happiness, joy, and emotional contentment. You have created an abundance of love and happiness in your life, and you now share this love with others, expanding your heart even more. This fits Charlie and what she created with her hotel, supported by Vaggie- together, they are the start of it all. You are now surronded by your loved ones (it's a fucking happy day in hell!), with whom you share a powerful and deep connection. You support one another, and you help other to reach their highest potential- on the path to redemption! Most of all, you do it because seeing others happy is the greatest joy you could have. It's the "happy family" card by excellence, as well as a positive card for romantic relationships- you're in a blissful one, if that's what you're looking for, to the point you may believe that you ar soulmates destined to be with one another (I do love them, mh, mh). When the card appears in your reading, it's time for you to take a step back, and appreciate everything you accomplished. You went through hard time, but look at that! You can do this, now we know it, and you actually did. Follow your heart, says the card, and follow your inner sens of Good.

Reversed, the card brings more subtility. You can see the Upright reading as mostly Charlie's idealistic view on the hotel and on redemption; but with the reversed Ten of Cups come the struggles. You may feel disconnected and disengaged from your loved ones, like your estranged father and your missing mother. You try to connect, but each times, something goes wrong, and the distance between you grows. Why does he forgets everything you say? Can't he pay attention? Why is he not calling more often? Or maybe you're afraid to trust, and you're keeping some secrets close to your chest. You don't open up enough, and you create, without meaning to, a distance with others, with her. You're too rash and too impulsive, but you mean well- surely, they can see that? It may have an impact on your relationship; you need to realise that nothing is perfect, and every relationship has its ups and downs. The Ten of Cups invite you to seek out a common ground with your loved ones, and rebuild the relationship from there. Talk to your father about why, exactly, he's so reluctant to help; talk to your partner about who you are, and where you came from. Open the lines of communication and be ready to hold space for one another. Be compassionate, understanding, and respectful. The card can also mean that you're starting to doubt yourself, and what you are doing. Is it really worth it? Are you up to the task? Are you letting other people down? You have to rethink those questions. Think about what makes you happy, what you believe in, and bring back your focus to that.

And that's it for today! I'm planning to do at least three more Hazbin cards- if the fixation does not die by then. Not that it shows any sign of slowing down, oh boy- they are all so fun to draw, too!

Anyway.

And with that, Hazbin Hotel verse is the most represented fandom in my whole deck of cards, right before Doctor Who. Ah!

If you have read this far- well done. So proud of you. You win a peach cider, if you're even able to drink this abomination. And paf, the rest of the cards!

#digital art #my art #tarot project #ten of cups #chaggie #charlie morningstar #charlie magne #vaggie #vaggie hazbin hotel #vaggie x charlie #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #chaggie fanart

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whateverisbeautiful · 2 months

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♥️ Ranking Richonne

#12: Kiss Of Life (S7E05)

Ooh it’s called the Kiss of Life for a reason. 🤩 No one does passion like Richonne. ❤️‍🔥 This marvelous scene seriously has a hold on me and features my absolute favorite Richonne kiss (thus far 😏). The moment is just so good and mesmerizes me like no other. It's legitimately hypnotic. And that’s why, even tho Rick and Michonne barely speak in this scene, it absolutely makes my top 12. And you know the kiss is good when you have multiple favorite parts of it lol...

First, it’s important to note that it’s not just the kiss that makes me adore and appreciate this scene but how extremely meaningful this exchange is based on where Rick and Michonne are at during this part of the story.

This was one of the hardest and most depressing seasons for them as they wrestled with losing people they loved and then being expected to be Negan’s servants indefinitely.

And during this Negan era, it’s one of the rare times when Rick and Michonne are on notably different pages about how to approach the situation. And while Michonne told Rick she’d try to accept this way of "life," it’s clearly eating away at her to just sit and let Negan torment her family.

It’s eating away at Rick too, but with the love he has for tf, and especially for Michonne and his children, at this stage in the show he really feels like he’d rather suffer like this with them than fight and lose them.

This was such a tough time for them, and yet Rick and Michonne's love so heartily prevails with this special kiss. It's the definition of true love's kiss, if you ask me. 🤩

So first, I always feel for Rick at the top of 7.05 when he’s talking to Carl, who is understandably frustrated and behaving coldly to his dad. All Rick wants is for his family to be okay, and they’re so clearly not okay right now, which you know weighs on him.

And I’m not the only one who feels for him because Michonne is of course also in the room for this Grimes family moment, and she seems to be really empathizing with Rick as well.

So then Rick and Aaron walk out of the room, and Michonne follows and, again, shoutout Aaron for leaving to give Rick and Michonne a private moment lol. Cuz the moment was perfection. 😍 Like for real tens across the board...

Rick and Michonne stand in front of each other, and Rick invites her to join them if she changes her mind. I love that he always wants her with him.

I remember even watching live, I could tell that Michonne wanted to go with him too, cuz magnets don’t part. But she’s of the mindset that she has to try and go out on her own to fight this for the both of them if he’s not ready to fight back yet.

Michonne quietly and compassionately says, "good luck" and even tho Rick is clearly sad and knows this could be a moment of distancing, he still wants to close the gap and at least hug her goodbye, which I appreciate. 🥰

So he goes in for this hug, and whenever I think back to when I first watched this scene live, I just smile because I remember how excited I was that Rick was simply going to hug Michonne and maybe kiss her on the cheek or whatever it looked like he was about to do. But little did I know we were in for something...

Because as he goes in for this cute husband-off-to-work hug, Michonne stops him by gently placing her hand on his face. And I will forever love the choreography of this whole moment.

I love that it’s this moment of Michonne redirecting to let Rick know she wants to send him off right and make it crystal clear to him that even tho they’re going different ways right now, she is not upset with him, disappointed in him, or pulling away from him.

So she warmly takes his face, and then there's this subtle moment where Rick does that signature Rick Grimes head tilt in her hands as he tries to assess what this moment is about.

You can see a heartbreaking split second of Rick seemingly wondering if this is her literally and figuratively pushing him away. And what most pains me is knowing Rick thinks he deserves whatever disappointment or distance Michonne might potentially feel toward him. 😭

His past relationship saw his former wife push him away during a very vulnerable time after he had to kill his best friend for trying to kill him, so it's like he's briefly expecting something like that again.

But one thing that wonderful woman Michonne is always going to do is let Rick know, this is different. 🙌🏽

It's the very thing Rick told Carl the literal morning after he and Michonne first got together - where homeboy didn't even want to wait a few hours before reassuring his son that he and Michonne are gonna be long-term. (which I always am just fully amused by that whole 6.11 scene btw. from rick lowkey forgetting he's talking to his son by emphasizing, "it just happened," carl's reaction to seeing his dad in a tizzy, and judith's 'office' look in the camera. gold 😂. michonne's fam is the cutest, y'all)

And "this is different" has remained an accurate way to describe the elevated love Richonne has with each other.

Because see, now Rick isn't with a love in his life, he's with the love of his life. He's with the one (& only 👑). This is his unequivocal soulmate who will be by his side through any and everything. And I love that Michonne always manages to show Rick that he's met his match in a way he's never experienced before.

So thankfully Rick doesn’t have to ponder what this moment is about for long because Michonne quells any and all of those fears when she proceeds to kiss him with passion in an abundance. It’s utterly perfect. 😍😍😍

No words needed, and she still manages to say everything. I still love you. I still crave you. And I’m still with you was expressed loud and clear. 👏🏽

And Michonne really is such a commendable queen for doing this and making sure no wedge was created between her and her husband. This kiss really made any distance they had prior disappear, and it so beautifully let Rick know he is still cherished and appreciated by his wife.

He needed this moment more than he could probably even express. But of course, without even having to say it, Michonne knew this was needed because she always knows her man. 😊

This moment also feels like something she's been wanting to do since that fateful and scary night in the line-up where there were several times she could've lost him.

Like you know the fact that Rick is still with her and they're still alive, is something she's grateful for and doesn't take for granted. So she needed this moment too. And this kiss lets everyone know that while Negan may have nearly broken their spirits, he can never break their love.

The level of passion in this kiss is great for many reasons, but especially because you know after the lineup Rick and Michonne are now both so much more aware of how quickly things can go fatally wrong and how whenever you leave home and part ways you really could not make it back home to each other. It makes me think about how Glenn left ASZ just to quickly retrieve Daryl, but then he never returned to their home again. 😢

So as Rick prepares to go off on this run with Aaron, he and Michonne really kiss like it could be their last because that's an unfortunate possibility. (even though not too much of a possibility since they're the ones who live, amen. 😌)

And then my absolute favorite part of this kiss is when Rick so clearly gets fully immersed in this moment with Michonne and pulls her closer to him. I freaking LOVE that little gesture of him pulling her into him. 😍 It felt like it was Rick's turn to also let Michonne know - I still love you. I still crave you. I’m still with you.

Rick and Michonne just fit so perfectly together and I love the way they can always get lost in each other. Truly, in that moment for them, it felt like they were the only two in the world and all the other stuff didn’t matter. Their ability to be so present with each other is so special. 🥹

And she was already so close to him but the fact that he pulled her even closer...Magnets. And then whoever pointed out that Michonne kisses his top and bottom lip is a real one because I never noticed it before, but now it’s my other favorite part of this moment. 😋

They were really wild for this whole kiss, y'all. It feels great to be so spoiled. And we're Blessed with a capital B that this ship is literally everything we could dream of. 😌

This kiss is of course steamy and heavenly, but also it is just so powerful. For Rick and Michonne to be going through what they’re going through and feeling so differently about their current circumstances, it is so powerful that they close the gap rather than widen it. That they express authentic love for each other more than opposition.

This moment solidified that Richonne has what it takes to rise above anything and that even when they have entirely different opinions on a subject as big and serious as how to approach fighting for their lives and their people, they will still always be with each other. Wholly, Deeply, & Forever.

Again, I so appreciate that Richonne always chooses each other. And also this kiss was only our second time seeing them kiss like this since their canon ep, and man did they deliver. Like...

I’ve always felt that something so special about Richonne is that they are not like some TV couples who are more interesting in their pre-canon "Will They/Won't They" phase, and then when they finally do get together it doesn’t quite live up to all the steamy passion of their build-up.

With Rick and Michonne it’s a whole different story cuz moments like this kiss let us know that all that steamy passion and build-up was not only matched but topped when they were finally able to express the love they felt romantically.

Also, when they lost Carl the following season, it was this kiss of life in s7 that I’d think about because I believe this is an illustration of what Michonne and Rick ultimately land on even amidst the toughest adversity. They land on love, which has proven true time and time again.

And as always their moments after the kiss are also profoundly passionate as they look into each other's eyes and then do their signature thing of leaning their heads against each other, truly almost as if finding their center with each other.

I love that they stay in this moment awhile, again with no words necessary to communicate how much they love and are with each other.

They are the epitome of soulmates, and the way their love shined through in this quiet moment made that clear.

And then I love that Rick can’t help but express gratitude to Michonne for giving him his entire life with that kiss, so he fittingly says what he always finds a way to say to her, "thank you." The absolute cutest. 😊 You know Rick ain't been kissed like that ever before lol. Michonne has that man forever entranced, and I love to see it.

And the thing is, Rick has a special effect on Michonne too, cuz you can clearly see it in the way she looks at him as well.

In one kiss Michonne and Rick were able to breathe life into each other and quiet all the worry of them being on the rocks. They might still have big differences at this point, but nothing will ever be strong enough to divide them.

(that's why when I hear lines like say, "we are the strongest military on the planet" or "we're the last light of the world," or whatever, my only thought is - and yet you're still no match for Richonne. 💅🏽 Rick and Michonne Grimes prove they're the ones who live and the ones whose love is unstoppable every time. 👌🏽)

So it was a big deal for Richonne to have this moment in 7A. I appreciate that Michonne knew her man needed to be lifted up and reminded just who he is to her, and she did just that like only she can. And as the kiss went on, Rick let her know he felt just as strongly about her.

This important kiss shows that Rick and Michonne’s love is unbreakable, and I treasure this scene as such an undeniably powerful moment between them. I love their love, and I will adore this Kiss of Life for life. 😌

#richonne #top 30 #number 12 #rick x michonne #twd 7.05 #reveling in richonne #twd towl #the ones who live

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stinkyme · 1 year

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Hello! This is a discussion I had a bit before, threesome with Nikolai and Fyodor and this is an ask of a specific person who requested :) I hope you like it and enjoy it! :) <3

CW/TW: NSFW, fem!reader, threesome, dom!reader, switch!Nikolai, sub!Fyodor, spanking, anal fingering, using strap-on, edging (?), handjob(s), praise, oral sex, ejaculation in the mouth (Nikolai & Fyodor), one usage of "mommy" by Fyodor, creampies, they are OOC lol, if I forgot anything please let me know! :)

I apologize this took me a while but I was caught up with other things, I personally dislike how this one turned out but I hope you enjoy as much as possible regardless :) (tbh had no idea how to name this fic, bear with me please)

PS. if this is formated weirdly, i deeply apologize, tumblr is so weird these days :(

I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)

Good boys || Nikolai Gogol x Fyodor Dostoevsky x Reader

"So, which one of you will explain to me what exactly happened?" you asked in a serious, cold tone. You were part of Decay of Angels for quite some time now and Fyodor entrusted you with a lot of things given your capability and abilities. Least to say, your relationship turned out to be more serious and complicated than that, especially when Nikolai came into the picture. At this very moment, two of them made a mistake in the execution of one of the plans due to misunderstanding. Therefore you had two gullible looking men on your bed, their expressions as pathetic as they can get but Fyodor did try to hide and mask it more than Nikolai. Unsuccessfully, of course, given the fact you could see the way the beginning of his eyebrow was twitching as his gaze couldn't meet yours.

"Oh my...what should I do with the two of you?" you sighed out, tapping your heel on the floor as you kept observing them. Sly smirk curled out of your lips as you came towards Nikolai, slowly kneeling in front of him as you were resting your hands on his thighs.

"Tell me, dear, was this an issue with understanding between the two of you?" you asked in a silvery, almost compassionate tone as he nodded. Nikolai was known to be an eccentric man but at this very moment, your presence made him more tame than ever.

"Hm...I see. Well, we need to work on that then, no?" you asked enthusiastically as you got up in quick manner, moving your attention to both of them at the same time. Both of them nodded, however Fyodor seemed to be more skeptical.

"It appears I just know how to make the two of you understand each other better." you said slyly as you continued your sentence.

"Take your clothes off for me, both of you." you ordered in a sharp tone as Fyodor's gaze met yours, hesitant expression on his face.

"What's wrong my dear?" you asked him as you were walking towards him. You wrapped your hand underneath his jaw and lifted it up, making him look at you. You paused for a second, gazing over his face before you spoke.

"You believe in punishment, don't you?" you asked him slowly, raising your eyebrow at him as the corners of your lips spread into a cunning smile.

"I do however-" he said hesitantly, it was quite amusing having him in this state. You brushed your thumb over his soft cheek making him look at you.

"It will make me feel so much better if you were to be a good boy for me, can you do that?" you cut him off, gaze lustfully tracing over his features. Nikolai was always quick to pick up and be obedient, swiftly taking his clothes off and exposing his muscular body. Your gaze was tracing over his naked body, a little smile appearing on your face as you moved your hand on Fyodor's clothed cock, gently squeezing it and making him let out a low whimper. He was looking at you with half lidded eyes as he was leaning in, capturing your lips in a needy kiss. You chuckled into his lips, your tongues quickly finding each other and deepening the kiss as Nikolai sat on the bed, slowly stroking himself, his gaze cunning and lickerish. You pulled away from Fyodor, a thin string of saliva connecting your tongues as he was slightly breathless. You didn't say anything but it was enough for him to take his clothes off, exposing his thin body. Nikolai was still playing with himself as you went over to the drawer, taking out a strapon and lube. You turned around, observing their hard cocks, Nikolai was shamelessly stroking it while Fyodor's hands rested on his sides. You put both strapon and lube on the table and came up to Nikolai, grasping his face with your hand and leaning closer to him, his lips parting in anticipation as the two of you started making out. He was more demanding than Fyodor, little snivels escaping his throat and being muffled in your mouth as his wet, soft tongue moved in perfect sync with yours. He pulled away first, a little blush appearing on his face as he kept stroking himself, eyes filled with neediness. You looked over at Fyodor who was captivated by the sight of two of you making out, a small amount of precum leaking out of his tip. Nikolai swiftly wrapped his other hand around Fyodor's cock making him gasp out as his eyes widened. Nikolai was stroking both himself and Fyodor at the same time, the two of them exchanging pathetic gazes as whimpers kept escaping their lips. Fyodor was slowly thrusting his hips into Nikolai's hand as you were taking your clothes off, both men desperately watching you reveal your naked body. You took off your shirt and pants, swiftly removing your panties and bra right after as their shamelessly horny gaze kept tracing over your body. Nikolai kept stroking both of them, Fyodor's dim whimpers mixing up with Nikolai's louder, quick moans.

"Be patient boys." you said softly as you started adjusting the harness with a strapon around your hips. You put a small amount of lube on your palm and started spreading it all over the strap, making sure it's nicely coated and wet. You came up to two of them, observing Fyodor's frail body twitching from Nikolai's touch as you leaned towards him, gently licking his lips and making him part them. The two of you shared another deep kiss, Fyodor's hands messily finding their way to your breasts, gently squeezing them as he was trembling under your kiss and Nikolai's touch. You swiftly put your hand on Nikolai's cheek, pulling him closer as you pulled away from Fyodor, continuing the pace of kissing with Nikolai almost immediately. Nikolai's tongue was brushing over yours gently and he started stroking Fyodor's faster, making him whine almost in your ear. Both of you smiled into a kiss upon hearing Fyodor's sweet sounds and you pulled away from Nikolai who swiftly engrossed Fyodor's attention by kissing him. You moved away, leaving Fyodor's hands empty as the two of them shared a deep and passionate kiss. The two of them pulled away from each other and looked at you, practically waiting for the next demand.

"Good boys, now get on all fours for me." you said in a soft tone as the two of them obeyed, arching their back for you and exposing their bare asses as you were stroking the strapon, making sure it's still wet as you stood behind them.

"Me first please, Y/N." Nikolai said in an ecstatic tone, eager for friction as Fyodor kept silent.

"Hm...aren't you a needy one, Kolya." you said through a light laugh as you started slowly teasing his hole with the tip of the strap, Nikolai's body twitching from cold sensation. He let out a little giggles of excitement as you started pushing the strap deeper, making him choke on his own giggle and choke out a whimper. Corners of your lips curled into a smile as you slided the strap fully inside of him and started slowly thrusting. Nikolai was whimpering, arching his back more for you as you kept your pace. You were observing Fyodor whose eyes were filled with agonizing envy as he kept watching Nikolai's face expressing pleasure from your touch.

"Now, now, I didn't forget about you Fedya." you said lovingly as you put two of your fingers inside of your mouth, twirling your tongue around them and making sure they are completely wet before putting them on Fyodor's needy hole, teasing his entrance with drawing small circles. Fyodor let out a soft snivel, growing more pathetic for any friction as he kept watching Nikolai receiving pleasure.

"Please…" he let out in a broken tone, voice dropping lower. You swiftly pushed your fingers inside, making him yelp out of pleasure. You moved your hips and fingers at the same pace, fucking both of them stimutaniounsly as their whimpers kept filling up your ears. Watching and having two of them like this made your whole body fill up with immense warmth. You started moving your hips faster, pounding inside Nikolai whose choked whines basically silenced Fyodor's whimpers. You curled your fingers up a bit and started moving them faster making Fyodor moan out sharply as you kept relentlessly stimulating his sensitive spot. Your free hand landed a loud spank on Nikolai's ass as you kept thrusting inside of him, making him choke out a whine. You extracted your fingers out of Fyodor's ass to spank him as well, a harsh slap on his skin immediately resulting in crimson red color. You left another spank on his ass making him let out a keen sob and right after slided your fingers back inside, sliding them in and out and further penetrating him. You stopped moving your hips and with your free hand grabbed Nikolai's messy braid, pulling him towards you and making him arch his back more.

"Fuck yourself like a good boy." you whispered out in his ear and he immediately started moving his hips back and forth, fucking himself on the strap. He was letting out blissful whimpers and whines, hitting all the right spots inside of himself as you focused more on Fyodor as for now. You started moving your fingers faster making his whole body twitch as soft, under breath whines kept escaping his lungs, his pathetic hole clenching and relaxing around your fingers. You harshly spanked Nikolai once again as he kept desperately fucking himself, his hips quivering as his cock started twitching more and more from immense pleasure.

"So good...more." Nikolai was choking his words out, almost breathless as his orgasm started intensely building up inside him.

"Should I let him cum, Fedya? Hm?" you asked in a sly tone as you started sliding your fingers in and out even faster making Fyodor's body start shaking and twitching more intensely as he tried to choke his words out unsuccessfully. A little cunning smirk appeared on your lips as you watched Nikolai fucking himself dumb on your strap, moaning shamelessly loud as he was getting closer and closer.

"What a shame." you let out in a disappointed tone as you pulled the strap out of Nikolai as well as your fingers out of Fyodor. Both of them turned around at the same time, pathetic eyes looking for an explanation.

"I was a good boy, please let me cum, please." Nikolai was desperately begging, his eyes filled with agony as a little amount of precum leaked from his tip making you giggle.

"You are so pathetic Kolya." you scoffed out as you grabbed his jaw, leaning closer to his face.

"You will use Fedya's mouth, dummy." you said as you wrapped your hand around Nikolai's cock, slowly stroking it and him immediately letting out shaky whimpers.

"And you...what about you?" you asked as you looked over at Fyodor, his eyes filled with desperation.

"Please…" he let out shamefully, making you giggle as you felt Nikolai's cock twitch inside of your hand. You let go of his cock, edging him further as he let out a pathetic whine.

"Please what? Use your words, slut." you said sharply as Fyodor's cock twitched at your words.

"I want some too..please..fuck me. It's my turn." he said in a shaky, pitiful tone as Nikolai moved himself in front of Fyodor. You smiled as you stood behind him, grasping a handful of his hair and pushing him forward Nikolai's cock.

"Good boy, now put that mouth of yours to a better use." you ordered and he immediately opened his mouth, wrapping them around Nikolai's thick cock as you swiftly went to a drawer and cleaned the strap. You were observing them, ears filled with Fyodor's choking each time Nikolai's cock would hit the back of his throat as Nikolai put his hand into Fyodor's hair, pushing him further and shamelessly moaning. You quickly lubed the strap and came back to Fyodor, positioning yourself behind him as you paralleled the strap with his hole. You were slowly sliding it inside, stretching him out and you could hear him whimpering around Nikolai's cock.

"Don't mess up the pace now Fedya, it wouldn't be fair to Kolya." you were teasing as you started pounding vigorously inside of Fyodor making him stop sucking on Nikolai's cock for a moment, a chain of sharp moans interrupting his pace. Nikolai grabbed Fyodor's hair, keeping his head in place as he started thrusting his hips inside and fucking Fyodor's throat. Your skin was slapping into Fyodor's ass, leaving red marks behind as you wrapped your hands around his hips and pulling them towards you, fucking him more relentlessly. Pitiful, muffled chokes kept escaping his throat alongside with whimpers stimulating Nikolai more who was moaning sharply, eyes half lidded as his orgasm was getting closer and closer. You moved one of your hands between Fyodor's legs, your pace inside of him still unswervingly vigorous as the palm of your hand wrapped around his cock. You started stroking his cock, making him moan out into Nikolai's cock who rolled his eyes from intense pleasure. You could feel Fyodor's pulsating and twitching inside your hand as you kept persistently stimulating his g-spot. He was getting close to his release alongside Nikolai, both of them getting louder, their sweet noises making your core fill up with more warmth.

"Come on now, be good boys for me and cum." you let out quickly as you started stroking Fyodor's cock even faster, Nikolai moving his hips with eagerness as he kept throat fucking Fyodor. Nikolai was panting, chest raising and falling quickly as his abs kept flexing, a few broken whines escaping his parted lips as he finally reached his orgasm, a thick whip of cum filling Fyodor's throat. Nikolai slowed down his movement, his breathing incoherent as he was riding out his orgasm. Fyodor was pulsating even harder inside your hand, swallowing the cum quickly and pulling away from Nikolai's grip, loud whimpers escaping his throat as he was getting close to his orgasm as well. You kept your pace inside of him as well as the pace of your strokes and you could feel his cock twitching as the mixture of his whimpers and whines became louder, finally reaching his orgasm, long whip of cum painting the bed. He was letting out sharp, quick breaths as his whimpers became quieter, his orgasm slowly melting away. You let go of his cock and pulled out the strap letting him slowly sit on the bed as you walked away, taking off the harness and placing the strap on the table. You turned back and saw Nikolai and Fyodor stroking each other's cocks, hard once again.

"Aren't my boys greedy today?" you asked through a light giggle as you came up to them, laying on the bed away from Fyodor's pathetic mess as both of them immediately stopped with mutual pleasuring and positioned themselves. Nikolai was between your legs as Fyodor was on your side. Fyodor started placing tender kisses all over your chest area meanwhile Nikolai was gently kissing and biting skin on your thighs. Fyodor's lips wrapped around one of your nipples, gently sliding it between his teeth as he started sucking on it. You let out a mellow whimper as Nikolai simultaneously started sucking on the soft skin of your thigh. He swiftly put two of his fingers between your inner lips, teasing your wet entrance as he pulled away from your thigh.

"Don't worry, we will make you feel even better." he said with a sly smirk as he brought his fingers to his lips and put them inside of his mouth, tasting your sweet precum. Fyodor moved his attention to your other nipple, sucking on it and brushing his tongue over it as Nikolai aligned his cock with your entrance, slowly sliding it inside and making you whimper out as he was stretching you out. He started slowly thrusting inside of you, quick and breathy moans escaping his throat as Fyodor slowly pulled away from your nipple, slowly tracing his way with wet kisses down your tummy. You sneaked your hand between Fyodor's legs and started stroking him at a fast pace making him let out broken whines in your skin. He bit into your tummy making you gasp out as Nikolai started thrusting faster inside of you, relentlessly pressing your g-spot making you choke on your own moans. You wrapped your legs around Nikolai's hips, weakly pulling him in as Fyodor continued kissing your tummy, desperately letting out shaky whimpers as you kept stroking his sensitive cock. Three of you filled up the room with your sweet sounds of pleasure. Nikolai kept his pace inside of you as Fyodor slowly put his hand on your pelvic area, feeling the bulge that Nikolai's cock was making inside of you with each thrust. You could feel his cock twitch inside of your hand from sensation, little snivels escaping his throat.

"You like that?" Nikolai asked him slightly breathless. Fyodor nodded, his eyes slowly filling up with tears from your fast paced strokes, painfully sensitive from his previous orgasm. Nikolai giggled as he started thrusting faster inside of you, his balls slapping on the underside of your pussy, leaving a little bitter-sweet bruise behind. You were moaning loudly, mind hazy as he kept hitting your sensitive spot inside and making you grip Fyodor's cock harder. Fyodor gasped out sharply as your stroking became unbearable, sweet sobs escaping his lungs as he moved his hand further down, fingers gently circling on your clit. You let out a quick chain of whimpers as two of them kept pleasuring you, Nikolai's thrusts vigorously hitting your g-spot meanwhile Fyodor's slender, cold fingers satisfied your swollen, needy clit. Nikolai wrapped his hands around your hips, his fingernails leaving little imprints inside of your skin as he was getting louder, whining shamelessly as your pussy started clenching around him, making his contrasting eyes start tearing up. He was pulsating inside of you, little twitches stimulating you more as he was getting closer to his orgasm. You slowed down the pace on Fyodor's cock from intense pleasure making him let out a snivel of dissatisfaction as he continued messily kissing your skin. You could feel your orgasm slowly building up inside of you, your moans and whimpers becoming louder with Nikolai's as he kept persistently thrusting inside of you, his grip on your hips getting harsher. His cock started twitching more and more as his moans became agonizingly loud mixed with sweet giggles as he was finally reaching his orgasm, the thick whip of his warm cum filling you up inside making you more sensitive. You were whimpering out, your grip on Fyodor's cock slowly ceasing away. He let out another dissatisfied whine as he pulled away from your skin. Nikolai was panting, slowly fucking his cum in and out of you as Fyodor kept drawing circles on your clit. Fyodor's expression grew desperate, purple orbs sparkling from little tears of deprivation that were forming in his eyes as he leaned closer to you.

"It's my turn, let me please you. I am begging." he was pleading desperately, his cock aching for more friction.

"I don't hear you beg, Fedya." you were teasing as Nikolai slowly pulled out of you, making sure to not leave mess behind.

"Please...I promise I will be good. Please, Y/N." he was saying his pleas through a broken, almost raspy voice. You kept looking at him, waiting for more as you started stroking his cock once again to give him more motivation.

"I-, ah, I was good for you so...Please...mommy." he was whimpering his words out, his eyes desperately looking for your approval.

"So eager. Very well baby. Switch places with Nikolai." you ordered and two of them switched places, Fyodor kneeling between your legs, slowly lining up his needy cock with your soaking entrance. As soon as his sensitive tip touched your wet cunt he started whimpering.

"What a desperate slut." you said through a lighthearted laugh as Nikolai giggled next to you, his lips slowly kissing your neck and moving down to your breasts. Fyodor slowly pushed his whole cock inside of you, getting overwhelmed with your hot, wet cunt. Quick paced whimpers started escaping his parted lips as Nikolai's hand snaked between your legs, continuing what Fyodor did before and drawing circles on your clit with two of his fingers. Fyodor started thrusting faster, more coherent with his movement, his cock stimulating your sensitive spots perfectly. You were letting out pale whimpers and moans as Nikolai's fingers kept working wonders on your clit along with Fyodor's cock. Nikolai's lips wrapped around one of your nipples, his tongue brushing against it in quick but gentle circles. Fyodor was whining out, his cock twitching inside of you as he sped up his movement, closer to his orgasm. You were moaning out, your whole body filling up with warmth and tingles as your orgasm kept building inside of you. Each clench of your cunt around Fyodor's cock made him dizzy from pleasure, getting closer and closer to his release. You swiftly moved your upper body towards Fyodor, making Nikolai move away from your nipple. You cupped Fyodor's cheek, both of you panting and whimpering as your orgasms were on the edge of bursting. You kept looking at his eyes that were half lidded, a string of saliva sparkling in the corner of his lips. His cock was twitching inside of you as your pussy kept clenching and relaxing around him. Nikolai kept his pace on your clit, bringing you even closer to your release.

"Cum for me. Cum with mommy, Fedya." you emphasized the word, throwing him over the edge immediately, his cum filling you up inside as he was letting out high pitched and raspy whimpers and whines. He threw his head back as he was riding his orgasm, sloppily thrusting inside of you but trying to keep up the pace. His warm cum spreading inside you as well as the tip of his still half hard cock pressuring your sensitive spot and Nikolai's skillful fingers circling on your clit threw you over the edge, your lower tummy filling up with warmth as you finally reached your orgasm. You threw your head back, intense pleasure spreading all over your body as silvery moans kept escaping your lungs. Fyodor pulled out messily, a mixture of his and Nikolai's cum painting the bed even more as Nikolai slowed his movement completely, his fingers resting on top of your sensitive clit as your orgasm melted away.

"Good boys. Very good boys." you praised through a shaky tone as you let yourself fall back on the bed, closing your eyes and calming down. Nikolai and Fyodor came to your sides, putting their hands over your body and gently cuddling.

"Do you feel better now?" Nikolai asked in a soft tone, fingertips faintly brushing over your hip.

"I do but I still have to clean your mess as always." you said lightheartedly as you eyed the pools of cum on the bed sheets.

"Well then, let's at least make more mess that's worth cleaning." Nikolai teased through a low tone making you giggle.

"Is that your philosophy?" you asked through a little laugh as Fyodor started kissing your neck.

"As unnatural as it would be, I agree with him." Fyodor whispered in your ear making you chuckle.

"It appears the two of you learned how to work together." you said in a soft tone, the three of you continuing to enjoy each other for the rest of the day.

The End :) <3

I hope you liked this and enjoyed it! :)

Thank you for all the love and support you showed me so far, I deeply appreciate it :) <3

Huge kisses on the forehead for everyone :3

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highpri3stess · 21 days

Text

So while we wait for the next chapter of Monsters to see the light of day from my drafts, I’ve decided to come up with something. I wanted to do a character study on each of the main cast to help you guys understand and maybe predict the outcome of the story. This will contain a deep dive analysis on why I chose their colours and some headcanons.

I got the majority of my colour psychology from this site and partially what I observed from watching early 2000’s shows that I grew up with and their characters that match, so if I miss anything, please say so.

Tw. Dark content. The main story warnings stay true to the analysis

Colour Analysis and Characterization:

Emma Sano:

Introduction: Let’s start with the least seen Character but the catalyst of the story, Emma. Just shy of 4’9”, Emma is a powerhouse and to put it simply, a dominating character. When I started writing the story, I thought of how to accent her character without making her a malicious villain like a lot of fics so far or just a place holder best friend that has no chemistry with the reader. I had to rewatch the 2004 Mean Girls and then I watched Clueless, then I recalled really REALLY vague memories of Scream Queens and Gossip Girl which I watched in my childhood and observed each of the popular characters. Regina George, Cher Horowtiz, Chanel Oberlin and Blair Waldorf, they all had something in common. Popularity.

And Emma checks off a lot of the boxes some of these characters have. Seeming well-meaning but often pushy, charismatic, firm and assertive, intelligent AND STREET SMART. She is also to an extent, spoiled, entitled, selfish and short-sighted, often acting without thinking of the consequences, because she never had to face it directly. I leaned into Cher Horowtiz writing Emma because I felt like we needed more nice mean blonde, but also Regina George because well, Emma has done really … uh questionable things in canon-

Colour: Emma wears a lot of pink.

I chose pink because combined with Emma, it gives me that 2000’s nostalgia. It’s a natural look for her, pink lips, blonde hair and yellow eyes, it just compliments her skin you know.

So I read up more about pink from the site and decided to give you an insight on pink according to this site: “The color pink represents compassion, nurturing and love. It relates to unconditional love and understanding, and the giving and receiving of nurturing...

Pink is feminine and romantic, affectionate and intimate, thoughtful and caring. It tones down the physical passion of red replacing it with a gentle loving energy.

Pink is intuitive and insightful, showing tenderness and kindness with its empathy and sensitivity.”

Based on this analysis we can see some traits of Emma in pink. She is compassionate towards the reader, towards her brothers and friends. She’s very understanding; she's a patient person, noting by how she taught the reader how to dress, and how to appear in front of others. She’s the one that taught the reader how to study properly and the importance of having a time table. You can even say she’s like a second, attentive mother to the reader and even to her brothers.

In terms of showing love, she is sensual. If you notice in the smut scene between her and Draken in chapter three, there’s a sense of softcore gentility with him. She’s more of a sensitive and gentle lover, despite her commanding presence. Outside sexual interactions, the people she forms close bonds with are treasured and cherished by her a whole lot. She isn’t afraid to hug people, or hold hands with people or even share a bed with someone. She’s not afraid of her own feelings, personally.

The thing that stands out to me in terms of pink is that blurb on “unconditional love” We can see this clearly in her relationship with both her brothers and especially the reader. With or without romantic feelings, Emma Sano loves everyone. She loves Mikey despite his tendency to be unstable and clueless and adores him, his protective and gentle nature, all the while letting her be her own person. She loves Shinichiro and sees him as the brother who sacrificed everything to be a parent to them. She loves Izana, despite his smothering and rude nature and sees the kind brother that would stay with her when she was scared of the dark, that bought her barbie CD’s as a kid and learned the guitar to play her favorite songs.

And she loves Reader for her gentle nature, being able to see the wonder of the world and teach her life lessons on spending and being intuitive to people’s emotions. She genuinely wants to spend the rest of her life with the reader if given a chance.

She’s bubbly! The life and heart of a party. You can’t stay mad at her if she mistakenly bumps into you or destroys your card deck like in chapter one because who can stay mad when she bats her eyes at you and tells you how the colour you’re wearing is so flattering?

But there’s a catch to pink: “Pink, from a negative color meaning, can represent a lack of willpower, a lack of self-reliance and a lack of self-worth. It can indicate an overly emotional and overly cautious nature.”

Although Emma doesn’t lack will power or self worth, she isn’t exactly self-reliant. From a young age, she had learned that people will be at her beck and call so far as she gives up her independence to them and now it is ingrained in her psyche. It is why she cannot face her critical thinking head on because she’s used to both Mikey and Izana - and now Draken thinking for her in important decisions. Shinichiro indulging her in her bad spending habits as well as spoiling her has made her dependent on them. She makes decisions based on how upset she is for both herself and on behalf of the person wronged, to the point it is detrimental to that person, reader.

Being assertive and open with your emotions is a good thing, but reading the room is another skill that requires patience. Most extroverted people tend to not be able to read people’s emotions or think ahead when they say something. Emma often speaks without thinking and considering what could happen. If she stayed silent for even a minute at the beginning of the story that first night and chose her words carefully or even recognized the weird energy between her brothers and reader for even a second, the events of the story would never have happened.

And lastly, I wouldn’t say she’s a manipulative person and it is not intentional, but she’s insistent on having her own way. Even when Reader expresses some form of discomfort, she still pressures Reader into situations she didn’t want to be in. Ultimately it has led to irreversible, traumatizing experiences for the reader [Being humiliated in Chapter 1 and Witnessing a murder in Chapter 4]. In fact, part of the reason the Sano brothers were initially upset by Reader’s presence was because Emma desperately wanted to get either Mikey or Izana together with her. Unknowingly sending a signal as if she was “Pimping her out or Showing off a gold digger friend.” Eventually, she stopped when she noticed the hostility her friend faced but never told the reader anything.

Izana Kurokawa:

Introduction: The second antagonist AND villain of the fic, Izana is the literal personification of Shaitan.

Izana is a complex character. When writing his pov, I usually write it in a way that you see things through his lens without agreeing with him. When I created his concept, I thought of someone like Elton from clueless at first, but then discarded that idea and decided to go ahead with his canon character and make him twice as bad.

His dressing and fashion sense comes from punk, alternative scenes: Faded Tees, ripped jeans, leather studded belts, biker jackets, red shirts etc Many people would like to tell you that punks are usually cool - and they are, but they can also be huge pieces of shit. He’s the bad boy they warned you about on wattpad but whatever they said he did, it’s the watered down version of whatever crime he commited.

Underneath it all, beyond the facade, Izana is a deeply insecure and sensitive person.

Colour and Character: Izana wears a lot red.

Red is blood. Red is passion and desire. Red is action. Izana is the kind of person to take the bull by the horn and do what he wants to do. It’s very useful in the world of the Yakuza and it is why he thrives more than Mikey. He combines charisma with intelligence and intuitive nature and makes them all work. He’s also someone that if you want something done, he’ll find a way to do it for you. It’s a colour that matches his skin, makes him look charming and intimidating. I chose red to warn and allure people when seeing Izana for the first time.

“The color red is a warm and positive color associated with our most physical needs and our will to survive. It exudes a strong and powerful masculine energy. Red is energizing. It excites the emotions and motivates us to take action. It signifies a pioneering spirit and leadership qualities, promoting ambition and determination.

It is also strong-willed and can give confidence to those who are shy or lacking in will power. Being the color of physical movement, the color red awakens our physical life force.

It is the color of sexuality and can stimulate deeper and more intimate passions in us, such as love and sex on the positive side or revenge and anger on the negative. You usually gain the respect of others quite easily with your practical and grounded attitude and ability to set boundaries.”

Not really sure about Izana’s positivity, but Izana has ability to protect and hold his own in a fight, as well as the tendency to be bold and upfront about his feelings and thoughts about other people.

In terms of masculinity, he’s a huge family guy, knowing how well he would do anything for them, no matter how far it could go. Majority of his problems with reader stem from the fact that her presence keeps tearing his family apart or causes a rift between him and the people he loves.

You can trust him to be honest with you when it is just the two of you alone. We can see that in Chapter three when he and Mikey are fighting and he confronts Mikey about his romantic feelings for the reader. He's also honest about how he feels about his older brother's connection to the reader in Chapter four.

He has passion for his family (Kakucho included) He loves them more than anything in the world, except himself. Sure, he has a strange sense of humor and he riles them up on occasion but he values them as people above everyone else. Even to the point that he shifts the blame to someone else when confronted with the reality of his sibling’s actions -see the bonus scene of chapter four. We know from little snippets of his past in Chapter 2, Izana is capable of emotion and gentility for people around him, but over time has chosen to surpress that part of him unless he is with his siblings, especially Emma.

He’s also the opposite of Emma with his lovers. Emma may be gentle but Izana is hot like blood. He’s all consuming, he takes and takes and takes and when he gives, he is still taking. He likes the thrill of being together with someone far more vulnerable than him and fighting for dominance, only to find out they’re out matched. Despite his arrogance, the reason why many girls flock to him is his allure. There's an excitement to Izana that keeps people aching for more, even if it would hurt them. It is why reader still aches to do nice things for him despite his constant abuse and is still flustered when he makes fun of her or puts her on the spot.

Although, negatively red reflects on Izana's character;

“You are impulsive - you should count to 10 before reacting to situations as it is in these situations that your anger and aggression often appears. You are always in a hurry, wanting to do everything right now. Patience is not one of your strong points. …. Red people can be aggressive and easy to anger, often exhibiting a violent temper - this is negative passion and energy. You flare up instantaneously but calm down quite quickly once you get it out of your system and then forget it ever happened.”

Izana has a terrible temper.

He’s dangerous when he is furious and is very easy to anger. You can see an example of how aggressive he can be in Chapter two, when he attacks the reader for the first time, chapter three when he threatens her and chapter 4 when he yells at her because she has feelings for his brother and then attacks his brother. And his temper often is expressed in physical violence, even to people who he loves.

Izana is physically, emotionally and later sexually abusive. It has a lot to do with his upbringing with him walking on his mother and other men having sex and his general hatred for women. He exhibits a very strange psychosexual behavior and gets some form of sexual gratification from seeing someone humiliated or in pain, especially if he is the cause of it.

He also has a domineering behavior. He loves being on top, trampling on people. He loves driving people up to the wall and breaking them until there’s nothing left. You can see that the split second he saw the fight in the reader’s eyes, there’s an energy that sparked up in him to squash it, to drain her dry.

And the funny thing is, his dominance is fueled by his insecurities and jealousy. In Chapter four, Takeomi makes an interesting comment that gets Izana confused. He is so full if himself that he refuses to sort out his fear of abandonment and inadequacy, and just decides to continue. Takeomi can see how jealous Izana is of Shinichiro, but refuses to admit it. He can see that there's a growing obssession and hidden lustful desire for the reader nestled inside Izana but Izana hates confronting emotions like that, so they build up until he explodes.

In simple terms, Izana is like a trynnical king with no one to stop him.

Manjiro "Mikey" Sano:

If Izana is Satan, then Mikey is Lucifer.

Izana may be the punisher, but Mikey is the tempter. He has a silver tongue, it’s so easy for lies to flow from his lips to anyone’s ears. Izana is straightforward with his intentions, but as for Mikey, he’s far more convoluted.

When writing for Mikey, I thought of his canon character for a bit. It's hard writing someone who is playful and cheeky, overall a nice guy and making them a bad person. Then I remembered that he also murdered all his friends in the manlia timeline and dark impulses and I was like... yknow it may not be that hard.

Colour: Mikey is green

I based Mikey's look off the usual boy next door persona. Like in canon, I gave him his comfy clothes, but with a little bit more style. I chose green because I felt it compliments his dark eyes.

Mikey is the epitome of youthfulness. He's handsome and flirtatous. He cares about his family a whole lot, even Izana. He can be gentle when he wants to and he is in tune with his emotions.

Here's what I saw about green:

"The color green relates to balance and harmony. From a color psychology perspective, it is the great balancer of the heart and the emotions, creating equilibrium between the head and the heart. ... From a meaning of colors perspective, green is also the color of growth, the color of spring, of renewal and rebirth.

Green is an emotionally positive color, giving us the ability to love and nurture ourselves and others unconditionally.

It loves to observe, and therefore relates to the counselor, the good listener, the social worker. It loves to contribute to society.

Being a combination of yellow and blue, green encompasses the mental clarity and optimism of yellow with the emotional calm and insight of blue, inspiring hope and a generosity of spirit not available from other colors.

Green promotes a love of nature, and a love of family, friends, pets and the home... It is generous and loves to share, but it also looks for recognition. It is friendly and can keep confidences.

This is a color that has a strong sense of right or wrong, inviting good judgment. It sees both sides of the equation, weighs them up, and then usually takes the moral stand in making appropriate decisions. On the negative side, it can be judgmental and over-cautious."

It's a strong parallel to Mikey's behaviour. He's a friendly person, noting by the reader's comment on how friendly he is to other girls and women. He can be sweet and considerate, even after doing something henious; he cleaned the reader up and got her food the both times he's been with her. He cares a lot about what Emma and Shinichiro think about him and tries to get on their good side, always, even when he feels he is right.

You can see his observant side in Chapter 1, he notices how the reader would rather be a peaceful person than try anything that could cause problems. He manages to see the solution to their issues with Emma, by being friendly with reader or pretending to be friendly.

He has a strict "moral" code. In chapter 1, he believed Izana's judgement on your choice of clothing and weighed on it because he felt reader was wrong for it, even if he was being hypocritical. In Chapter 3, he fought with Izana for putting his hands on reader because he hates it and believes it is wrong to be violent to a woman. He's angry at reader for choosing dishonest people to surround herself with instead of genuine people and thinks she's foolish for doing so.

He is also, no matter how you put it, a lover boy. The painful truth is, all those texts he sends reader is actually coming from a place of genuine concern. When he starts forming attachments with someone, he starts to worry over them. If reader never went to her dorm and had bumped into him instead in chapter four while she was crying, he would have done everything to change her grades, even getting rid of proffessor Hanabi permanently.

"On the negative, the color green can be possessive and materialistic, with a need to own people and things.

being possessive and materialistic, indifferent and over-cautious, envious, selfish, greedy and miserly, devious with money, inconsiderate, inexperienced, a hypochondriac and a do-gooder."

We can see how possessive Mikey is.

The thing is, he has an obssession with people he claims he loves and wants to own them. He needs to be the center piece of their life or he has no meaning and would feel replaced. It stems from his greed that was fed into as a child. Mikey is charming enough to get the adults to do to his bidding and his friends begrudingly fed into that behaviour. He has a close knit group and he hates having to share that with any outsider, which is why he pushes reader away so vehemently, until Emma began to revolve around her and not him.

Also, he is an envious and possessive person. In Canon, we can see a few examples when Inui mention Takemichi and Mikey got up into his face and was like "No, he's mine-" in the same way, he takes it a step further. Your ability to command attention the same way he did when he was younger has him boiling. He hates that you're the kind of nice he wants to be and his solution is owning you so that he can control who you get to be nice to.

He is also a selfish and self-centered person. It's only what he thinks and what he wants that matters. In Chapter 1, when he's arguing with Emma, he quickly ignores her concerns and tells her to 'come back' to the party because he and Izana are waiting. At the end of the day what matters to him is what he wants. He doesn't care about how his actions affect people, and when you promptly avoid him at the end of chapter 3 and 4, he frigns confusion as to why, despite knowing why.

The thing about greedy people is that they would turn on their own moral code just to get you. Mikey has used physical restaints to hold reader down just to assault her sexually. He has used threats and he would act on them no matter how sick and twisted they are. The end justifies the mean for Mikey and his dark impulses and if it means making you hate him to keep you in his tight knit circle to control you forever, so be it.

Reader

The star of the freak show, the reader is seemingly a clear cut character. She's calm, quiet and patient. She's responsible and ultimately a matyr because she endures a lot of hardships.

I wanted to give her a pink aesthetic at first, but then I rewatched diamond castle and princess and the frog and loved the blue and purple motive in opposite of their pink counterparts. It struck me! Blue is usually the colour of compainionship and innocence and I decided to experiment that with the reader.

Colour and charcter: When I was picking blue, I thought back to the Holy Mary statutes (I am NOT a catholic, it is painfully obvious with the way I mess things up. Thanks for leaving the catholic church btw dad before I was born 😒) and realised that Mary and reader have a lot in common. They are idolized by the same people who would have thrown stones at them had they known they were pregnant out of wedlockback in the days. They are both forced to be this epitome of innocence and virgnity - in some apocrphya Mary was serving as a virgin in a temple before being bethrothed to Joesph and then married off to men twice older than them.

Let's look at what this site says about blue:

"This color is one of trust, responsibility, honesty and loyalty. It is sincere, reserved and quiet, and doesn't like to make a fuss or draw attention. It hates confrontation, and likes to do things in its own way.

From a color psychology perspective, blue is reliable and responsible. This color exhibits an inner security and confidence. You can rely on it to take control and do the right thing in difficult times.

It has a need for order and direction in its life, including its living and work spaces. This is a color that seeks peace and tranquility above everything else, promoting both physical and mental relaxation."

"It reduces stress, creating a sense of calmness, relaxation and order - we certainly feel a sense of calm if we lie on our backs and look into a bright blue cloudless sky. It slows the metabolism. The paler the blue the more freedom we feel.

In the meaning of colors, blue relates to one-to-one communication, especially communication using the voice - speaking the truth through verbal self-expression - it is the teacher, the public speaker.

Blue is the color of the spirit, devotion and religious study. It enhances contemplation and prayer. On the other hand, blue's devotion can be to any cause or concept it believes in, including devotion to family or work

Blue is the helper, the rescuer, the friend in need. It's success is defined by the quality and quantity of its relationships. It is a giver, not a taker. It likes to build strong trusting relationships and becomes deeply hurt if that trust is betrayed.

Blue is conservative and predictable, a safe and non-threatening color, and the most universally liked color of all, probably because it is safe and non-threatening. At the same time blue is persistent and determined to succeed in whichever endeavors it pursues."

It's a no brainer that reader is a responsible and hardworking person. She's the epitome of feminimity. Her actions are honest and pure, she expresses concern for people who do not deserve it and she doesn't like to cause problems. Reader would much rather talk it out and apologize even if she isn't wrong.

She's raised to be a humble, sweet girl who must always be obedient to her husband. To not judge outwardly, but be naïve and a little bit dense. You can see that it is why she balances with Emma who is more dominant, helping her cool down and appreciate what she has, as well as teaching her how to be considerate. She teacher Emma the value of money and Emma admires how calm and non-violent reader is. She would not rage or cause up a storm to prove she is right, but rather, seek a middle ground.

She believes that there is good in everyone, even if they don't express it to her. She's okay with being in the back ground because her kindness is her strongest suit.

But there is something about reader that isn't right.

"Change is difficult for blue. It is inflexible and when faced with a new or different idea, it considers it, analyzes it, thinks it over slowly and then tries to make it fit its own acceptable version of reality.

Blue is nostalgic. It is a color that lives in the past, relating everything in the present and the future to experiences in the past."

When reader has a precognitive notion of someone it's hard for her to change it. Especially if it is about her.

She found it hard to eventually accept that what Mikey is doing to her, is a bad thing. She was trained in a way that ingrained in her that women provoke men to assault them, so she blames herself for it. She knows both of them are evil but she still aportions blame to herself.

Her being nonconfrontational does her wrong as well. Because she wants peace with others, she lets herself be trampled upon. There's a part of her that earns for the past, even if she was hurt. She's always in her head, never paying attention to her surroundings but constantly overthinking and over analysing everything that happens to her.

Her quiet, docile nature is what leads her to be an easy target for people like Izana and Mikey. Her kindness will be the death of her.

Headcanons for the main cast:

Reader's first love is Mikey Sano. Before him, she has never seen a guy she really liked until she caught his eye.

Izana is a sex addict - it's almost as bad as drugs, but within the last few weeks he had suddenly seen a reduction in his drive.

Emma was the one who suggested blue was reader's colour. Before university, reader wore a lot of brown or muted colours which is associated with obscurity or poverty.

Izana hates how wide eyed and innocent reader looks. He hated her even more when she asked "what does a blunt mean?" when he told her to roll one for him the first time they met.

Kisaki and Mikey think of reader as a dog -specifically a laperdoodle- because she's aleays following Emma around with no direction of her own.

Izana is passionate about music and it is why he went into sound engineering. When he is stressed and he doesn't want to smoke, he plays his guitar. He has written a song about how he feels about his childhood but no one has heard it apart from Kakucho.

Emma, Izana and Mikey spend a lot of time together. They like hanging out together because it's reminiscent of their childhood.

Majority of the girls Izana sleeps with are blonde haired girls. Take that as you will.

Reader is always in her head most of the time. She zones out a lot and spends her entire alone time thinking. She also has a hyper active imagination.

The most intelligent sibling is Mikey. He just hates school.

In their freshmen year Reader actually met Hanma at the freshman party. She tried talking to him but she was so nervous that she ran away.

If the events of chapter one never happened and they had just apologized, Reader and Mikey would have been good friends. Izana would still keep her at arms length but eventually warm up to her.

Emma was hoping one of her brother's would fall in love with reader, since Draken isn't polyamorous so that she'd keep reader in her life forever.

The person I see reader having a successful relationship with is Izana (if everything was good). Red and blue are opposites, and they would instantly catch on. Izana would compensate for Reader's shy and docile nature, even inspiring her to be more confident and take on anything. Reader would teach him patience and forgiveness and ultimately help him to be more relaxed.

I initially planned that reader and Izana would have some action in chapter 4 but scrapped that idea.

Mikey hardly dates. Girls flock around him and he may sleep with one or two, but that's it. He has a preference for experienced girls as I mentioned.

In terms of sexuality, Reader is pansexual, Emma is bisexual and polyamorous, Mikey is also bisexual and Izana is pansexual and polyamorous.

Reader loves Mitski a lot. Emma introduced her to "worldly" songs when they began their friendship and Mitski stuck. Before that, she was only allowed christian music in her household.

Izana's favourite group is Deftones and Mikey loves ABBA a lot. Emma is a Britney Spears person but loves Mitski.

Reader feels safer around Draken outside Emma. She actually loved learning about bikes from him and didn't laugh when he said his dream was to be a bike. Probably because her dream is to become a book.

Mikey hates being in fights with Izana. It makes him sad. He just wants to hang out without Izana feeling like he has to rile Mikey up so that Mikey would like him.

If reader was my oc, her name would be Evangelista and she would look like this:

Reader misses her family. She misses her mom a lot even though she knows they were bad to her.

Izana sleep talks about his mother, Karen and in his dreams he begs her not to leave him and Emma, that he'll never complain again.

Mikey's mom, Sakurako and reader are similar in personality. He forms attachments to reader because he wants to recreate his mother's love through her.

Emma also sees Sakurako in reader, but she can also see Karen too. Karen was always absent minded to the point she nearly hurt herself. Reader has also hurt herself while being absent minded too.

After the assault reader's absent mindedness became worse. She also feels extreme shame and has resorted to taking sleeping pills.

Mikey hates smoking and alcohol, but abuses Antidepressants a lot to numb his dark impulses. In chapter 3, reader thinks Mikey is sober, but in reality he's on antidepressants. It is why he's so emotionally detached. It doesn't work by the way.

Mikey is in love with reader and is desperate to get her on his side. If Izana offers him a deal that can get reader he'll take it.

Reader cannot find it in her heart to hate Mikey or Izana. She excuses their actions in her head majority of the time. It's because she was raised to know that if a man is violent towards her, it is her fault. It is why she's desperate to make amends.

Mikey reminds her of her father a lot. Izana reminds her of her eldest brother. Both of them abused her and she recreates those scenarios with Mikey and Izana. Reader at a point wanted Mikey to love her back but gave up after the party.

Reader's brothers are physically abusive towards her. When she was attacked in chapter 2 she instantly fights back because that was the only way she could escape with her life. It got so bad she has been hospitalized multiple times. She learned the best way to avoid abuse is to avoid them entirely, since her parents wouldn't do anything about it.

Emma regrets pushing reader towards her brothers.

Reader still wears her rosary she got from her mother until this day. She rarely goes to church.

The person who took those nude pictures wasn't Mikey. It was Hanma. Mikey paid him to do it and who was he to refuse free money.

Reader was in dance club at her school and was really good, but left after someone snitched to her father. She got punished badly.

Taggging: @fushiqruo @jellyfishworld @blueberry3muffin @nnniiiaa @707stic @kokoch4n3l @kodzukein @kazutorasrealsneakylink @short-cxke @bontensruby @merve-01 @hellkaiserinphoenix @urmomsksk @chaerytf @manjibunny @chrollohearttags

Thank you guys so much for reading this ♡ you can ask me any more questions if you have them.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers fanfic #monsters ♡

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sage-nebula · 6 months

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Personally, I love that Whisper is a little messy.

I love that she is—for a Sonic character, at least—complicated. Overall, she's a good person. She wants to help and protect others. She's compassionate, and brave. She accepts others for who they are even when it might be inconvenient. (Ian Flynn clarified on a Bumblekast that when Whisper replied "I don't" to Lanolin when Lanolin asked her how she handled Tangle in the Urban Warfare arc, what Whisper meant was that Tangle is her own person and Whisper doesn't try to control her one way or the other. It wasn't her being angry.) She's usually patient and owns up when she makes mistakes. She's smart and capable, but still humble. She's determined and diligent and loyal.

But she is also traumatized, and while some of that trauma comes through in Socially Acceptable™️ ways of being sad and soft-spoken, it also comes through in less Socially Acceptable™️ ways. She self-isolates to the point where it damages her inter-personal relationships, sometimes on purpose. She is willing to commit murder against those who have caused great harm and has attempted to kill both Mimic and Eggman in canon twice each. She can be terse and is hypervigilant and sometimes violent as a result of her hypervigilance, warranted or not. (Because although we know she's right about Duo being Mimic, that doesn't give her a pass to put hands on Lanolin the way she does.) She regularly fails to communicate her feelings until cornered or she hits a breaking point. She spent the vast majority of her time in the story steadfastly refusing to heal from her grief over the deaths of her friends by saving the recording of the moment they died so she could watch it again and again.

None of this to say Whisper is a bad person. She's not. She's a severely traumatized 16 year old girl. She deserves to be given grace. But she is complicated. She's messy. Saving the body cam footage of when your friends were murdered so you can watch it over and over and keep that grief and need for vengeance festering in your heart is not a healthy coping mechanism. Self-isolating to the point where you won't even say goodbye (as she was going to do when she left the Restoration prior to Trial By Fire before Tangle happened to catch her in the act) isn't great behavior, either. And while the topic of whether a villain deserves to die for their actions is a moral quandry comics fans have wasted decades arguing about, the fact remains that the willingness to do so is rare by Sonic hero standards. In fact, it's usually only the antiheroes (such as Shadow) who are willing to do it. But Whisper shot Eggman through the heart in Urban Warfare; he would be dead right now if she hadn't been stuck halfway in cyberspace.

Yes, Whisper is soft with her wisps and her girlfriend and her friends. She tells jokes about toasters. She gets very excited to chill at the beach, and she is willing to put herself on the line time and again to protect strangers. But she is also willing to do the things she feels must be done, no matter how her friends might not approve, and sometimes her coping behaviors (or lack thereof) are awful. This wolf contains multitudes.

And I love her for it.

#sth #whisper the wolf #idw sonic #i'm a trauma survivor myself (albeit a different kind of trauma) and there have been times #ESPECIALLY in my teen years #when my behaviors as a result of my trauma were not the best #so it's nice to see a character who has not great behaviors as a result of trauma #be treated sympathetically regardless #esp a female character

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much-ado-about-whumping · 1 year

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Help for when you’re having a rough time

(If you're looking for my old pinned post with my whump masterlists, you can find it here.)

In light of some deeply sad news in the whump community today, I’m thinking about how many of us here struggle with mental health, sometimes including physical or mental self-harm and suicidality. Since I know lots of folks might be having a hard time right now, I wanted to share some resources that have helped me in rough moments. Please feel free to add on to this post (or make your own, if you want!) with the resources that have worked for you.

First, a note:

Trauma, shame, and suicidality all tend to isolate - they make us feel like we’re all alone in the world, like no one else would understand us, and like the only solutions we have available to us are ones we can think of all by ourselves. In my experience, the antidote to that is connection. If you’re feeling scared or alone, you can hop into my asks or DMs if you want. I’m sure there are other folks in this community who would offer that, too. Many of us have grappled with mental health struggles, including suicidal ideation, and sometimes we can offer each other the care that can be hard to offer ourselves. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.

A quick note about location: I live in the US, but about half the resources in this post are written guides you can access from anywhere. The hotlines and warmlines linked below are US-based. One or two are accessible in Canada or have an online chat or moderated forum that could be accessed anywhere. If you have good local resources from another place, please reblog and add them! (Thank you, @straight-to-the-pain, for flagging this in the notes!)

That said, here’s my absolute first recommendation if you’re feeling generally awful and don’t know what to do:

1. You Feel Like Shit (also available at its original site here)

If you’ve read a lot of ~self care tips~ in your life (and if you’re a bit of a salty bitch like me), you might be sick of being told to eat something and take a nap. (I don’t think we can hydrate our way out of long-term trauma and late-stage capitalistic hell, but thanks.) That said, I’ve found this site REALLY helpful. Personally, I have ADHD and CPTSD, a combination that makes it ROUGH for me to know how to take care of myself sometimes. This site speaks to you calmly, like a non-judgemental friend, and walks you through steps that you might struggle with if you have a hard time with executive function in general, or if you’re ill, grieving, overwhelmed, or otherwise just off your game. I pretty much always walk away feeling at least a little better, even if I don’t complete every step.

There are more suggestions and resources below the cut. Wishing everyone in this community love and care. <3

2. The 15-Minute Rule (info available in many places; after a quick google, I really like this site as a place to start)

One key principle to understanding the resources I’ve put together here is the 15-minute rule. If you’re feeling an urge towards physical or mental self-harm or suicide, studies show that the urge is unlikely to last more than about 15 minutes at its peak intensity. (Sorry I don’t have data on this off the bat - anecdotally, I can tell you that this rule also tracks with my own personal experience.) This means that, if you’re presently feeling overwhelmed by grief or pain that’s turning inwards on you, if you can stay afloat through the next few minutes, the tide of it is likely to ebb. The site I linked above has information about this concept and some great harm-reduction ideas, too. (Another resource on this that I liked in my quick search is here.)

3. Read This First (a compassionate distraction from feelings of self-harm)

I’m gonna be honest; this resource is aimed at folks having urges towards physical self-harm, but it looks like something I would find helpful with urges towards emotional self-harm, too. (It also looks like it could be handy for body-focused repetitive behaviors - BFRBs - like dermatillomania/skin-picking or trichotillomania/hair-pulling).

4. Resources from Pete Walker, psychotherapist and author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Obviously not everyone reading this will have complex PTSD (also called C-PTSD), but if you’re a person who, in general, tends to beat yourself up a lot, I’d highly recommend checking Pete Walker’s work out. If some of it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay - take what you need, and leave the rest. This site (and the book it references most heavily) assumes you may have had parents who were emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful. If that doesn’t ring true for you, but other parts of the resources seem helpful, use them anyway! A handy place to start maybe this page on Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD (that is, reducing the volume of the voice that screeches unpleasantness at you when you feel ashamed or scared).

As a note: this website looks VERY mid-2000s (which I kind of love). Most of the resources you want will be in the right-hand column full of links. Some of those links will open new pages, and some will automatically try to download a PDF of the article you want to read.

5. Warmlines:

This is something I just learned today - if you’re feeling really lonely and sad, but you’re not in immediate crisis, there are warmlines you can contact! These seem to be numbers where you can call (or sometimes text) to talk with a counselor or trained peer when you need support and connection. I can’t vouch for any of these numbers personally, but as someone who has definitely thought, “It’s not bad enough to REALLY need help,” I think this is a fabulous idea. Here’s a list of warmlines you can check out in the US.

6. Specialized hotlines:

There are lots of good crisis hotlines out there, but some may be better for your needs than others. For one thing, if you’re feeling seriously suicidal, it’s good to know the policies of the hotline you’re calling. In my opinion, everyone deserves bodily autonomy and the right to refuse care; for that reason, I think it’s important to know the policy of the hotline you’re calling as to whether or not they’ll call emergency services without your consent. Everyone has to make their own judgment call on this one, and I’m a little too (lightly!) triggered to go deep into my analysis on this right now, but I wanted to flag that it’s something to be aware of - if you’re going to call a hotline, you can try to look up their policy on calling emergency services before you contact them. You could probably even ask them in the beginning of the call. (A script: “Before we start, can you tell me what your policy is about contacting emergency services on behalf of callers?” If this is true, you can add: “I’m having some feelings of [suicidality/self-harm], but I’m safe and am not in danger of hurting myself or others.”)

With that in mind, here are some hotlines that seem promising to me, in no particular order:

A. For queer and trans folks in general:

Trans LifeLine

Available in the US (1-877-565-8860) and Canada (1-877-330-6366)

Available in English and Spanish

Will NOT call emergency services without your consent (you can read more about this policy on their website, including here)

Peer to peer support for transgender and questioning folks; also, microgrants (small amounts of money) for trans-related needs!

Does not offer text/chat-based support

I’ve never used Trans LifeLine myself, but I’ve heard excellent things about it from peers who have.

The Trevor Project:

Support from trained counselors for queer, trans, and questioning folks

Definitely available in the US; I’m not sure where else.

Offers support via phone (1-866-488-7386), text message (678-678), and online chat (link here - scroll down to Start Chat)

Also offers an online peer support space, TrevorSpace, for folks ages 13-24

Their site says, “In very specific instances of abuse or a clear concern of an in-progress or imminent suicide, Trevor counselors may need to contact a child welfare agency or emergency service.” When you click Learn More, it takes you to their Terms of Service (informative, but in legalese that might be hard to parse if you’re in crisis).

Again, not a service I’ve used myself, but I’ve heard good things!

B. For BIPOC folks (Black folks, Indigenous folks, and people of color more broadly), especially those who also hold LQBTQI identities:

Call Blackline:

Available via phone or text (both at 1-800-604-5841)

Available for people in crisis. Call Blackline can also help connect you with local community organizers and officials if you need to report a negative, inappropriate, or physical interaction with police, other law enforcement, or vigilantes.

From their website:

Call BlackLine® provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences for folxs who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens.Call BlackLine® prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). By us for us.

Here’s what I found regarding their policy on emergency services:

You do not have to provide any personal information to use the service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind.

Of course, a BIPOC person can contact any hotline for support, but for people dealing with racism, anti-Blackness, and other specific bigotries, I can very much see the importance of talking to someone who shares or understands that experience.

C. For folks processing bad psychedelic trips:

Fireside Project:

This one is something I didn’t even know existed! They do call- or text-based support (1-623-473-7433, or 1-62-FIRESIDE) for people processing psychedelic drug experiences, available 11am to 11pm Pacific time. I don’t have a ton more info, but their site seems really interesting and like they’re serving a unique need.

7. A soothing distraction:

One of the glories of the internet is the fact that it enables us to conjure up images of kittens at a moment’s notice. In that vein, I want to offer up a VERY cute distraction: Peptoc is a hotline (1-707-873-7862, or 1-707-8PEPTOC) where you can hear encouraging messages in English or Spanish from kindergarteners. How sweet is that? (Thanks to the wonderful @newbornwhumperfly for this suggestion!)

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Beloved whump community, I want to know about things that help you when you’re struggling. Please feel free to share them if you want.

And, Moya - we’ll miss you so, so much, even those of us (like me) who didn’t know you well. May your memory be an absolute blessing. <3

(I was going to put this in the tags, but oops, it’s going up here - I really hope this post will be helpful to someone, but it was also helpful to me to build. I feel better in a crisis when I can find a way to help - it’s how I soothe myself when I’m sad or scared. I really hope this doesn’t seem preachy or self-aggrandizing - it’s really just me processing-processing-processing. <3)

One more note: if this post makes you think you might want to follow my blog, you're totally welcome, but you should check out my note here first. This is not a DNI list; it's just a heads-up about my content, which could be inappropriate or triggering for some people.

#whump community #how to be a person in the world #ways to stay afloat #suicide mention cw #suicidality mention cw #self-harm mention cw #resources for taking care of yourself #bel talks #touchstones #sorry another disclaimer but also i know my experiences are not universal #my feelings might come from a really different place than other people's feelings #idk for instance if any of the shit in this post would have been at all useful to moya #but I'm sharing it anyway in case it's useful to SOMEONE

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bambiraptorx · 26 days

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Not Quite Hidden AU: part 3. Word Count: 489. Readers chose: be compassionate.

“I accept your apology. I understand that children are difficult to control on occasion," Draxum says.

The yokai tilts his head, his snout wrinkling slightly as if he doesn’t know how to take Draxum’s words. But it doesn’t seem to be the worst reaction the ferret could have had, at least.

“Mister?” Raphael tugs again at Draxum’s train, raising his free hand to point at something on one of the shelves. “Can you grab those crackers for me?”

Draxum blinks. “Which ones, the red box?”

“No, the green and yellow one. The Critter Crackers. No, the big one.”

Draxum settles his hand in front of a large box on the top shelf with yellow and green stripes and stylized animals of various kinds, mostly non-sentient beasts of burden and the like. “So this one.”

“Yay! I betted you were tall enough to get them!” Raphael squeals. Is that why he approached Draxum in the first place? So Draxum could do something for him?

The ferret grumbles something under his breath, then sighs. “We need to go, Raphael. I do not particularly want to stay here any longer.”

Draxum slowly grabs the box and hands it to the child, who giggles happily and runs back to his father’s side.

“And what, exactly, do you mean to imply by that?” He stares down at the ferret, trying to understand what this stranger could possibly have against him. If anything, Draxum is the one who deserves to hold a grudge, given that the turtles were stolen from him.

The yokai’s fur begins to stand on edge again. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. Boys—stop trying to open the box, I need to pay for those first!”

“I want the simurghs, I want the simurghs!” The box turtle finally lets go of Draxum’s leg and leaps away, latching onto the box as the others swarm around it.

“Nuh uh, I get the simurghs this time! You promised that last time!” The slider hollers. How did he get over there so quickly, wasn’t he just by Draxum’s leg?

A sudden fluttering sound from down the aisle alerts Draxum to the approach of his gargoyles, each of them carrying a basket larger than they are.

“Hey, boss! We finished with the lists you gave us—what’s with the kids?” Huginn asks, hovering as close to Draxum’s shoulder as possible without ramming the basket into a helmet horn.

“My children are none of your business,” the ferret grumbles tiredly.

“Oh, cool, so you’re their parent then?” Muninn chirps.

“He’s our dad!” the slider crows, latching onto the ferret yokai’s arm and grinning. “We only got one dad though. Some people have more parents. Do you have parents?”

Huginn nods. “Yep, Muninn and I have five or so. We’re not really brothers, though, we’re hatchmates. Common misconception.”

The ferret yokai opens his mouth, then shuts it again. His tail twitches erratically. “I… I need to leave.”

(Reblogs are very appreciated!)

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#rottmnt #rottmnt au #not quite hidden au #my writing #rottmnt baron draxum #rottmnt splinter #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #rottmnt huginn #rottmnt muninn #turtle tots #rottmnt fanfiction #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #poll #i'm sneaking some of my gargoyle lore into this lol

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leviathanofdeath · 10 months

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rotb spoilers i talk abt Noah in depth bc im autistic and its 1 am

(this is also strictly talking abt the movies)

idk bout yall, but i really like Noah and his character and the way he interacts with everything thrown at him., I really like how (because of Mirage's chill personality) he wasn't completely overwhelmed by the existence of robot aliens. sure he was freaking the hell out abt the car driving by itself but yknow he caught on pretty quickly. and this is also due to the fact that he wanted to save earth as well. and specifically he wanted to help his brother. can we talk abt the fact that he was so willing to go against his morals just to scrounge up some sort of cash to help his family. as soon as he got into Mirage he was like "I don't wanna do this" and he was trying to get out the car. I also really like the relationship Noah had with his little brother. trying to be that light in his life and give hope. doing everything just to help his little brother not be in so much pain. it was just a nice touch to show us how truly compassionate and caring Noah is and you could really feel that through the performance, imo. you can tell they've both been struggling for quite some time. you feel sorry for when Noah gets immediately rejected by that security officer, and he's completely honest and trying to explain how he deserves a second chance (and he does) and he's probably repeated those reasons a thousand times in the past. he almost completely doubts himself until his brother reiterates that they're always gonna be there together and theybcan do it. and even though it sounds unrealistic, me and my sister have said the same thing to each other so it feels all the more powerful to me. it's a completely different approach to a character in the movie series and I cannot appreciate it enough.

and can I just say, sorry to the sam likers out there, I like how Noah doesn't just immediately insult Mirage trying to save him or befriend him. they actually have a strong ass bond almost right off the bat. sam was always yelling at bee everytime bee came in to save his ass (I hated this bc bee can do no wrong ok) but when Mirage was fighting scourge all by himself JUST to buy time for Noah, literslly risking his life for Noah. literslly becoming a suit of armor for him. Noah was nearly in tears, watching mirage's optics fade becsuse they've already become so close. Noah and Mirage have the silliest banter because they just get along so well. I know it's kind of stupid to compare the two (sam/bee and noah/mirage) but my point is simply: they connect so well together and I really fucking appreciate that. we've seen it with Charlie and Bee where they genuinely care for each other and now we see it again with Noah and Mirage. its just so nice to see the two get along swimmingly. even after they save the world, Mirage meets Noah's brother and everything and Noah begins to fix Mirage up as well. showing that they've become closer after the entire incident.

and Mirage. I just gotta say he is seriously the star of the show. Pete Davidson did an amazing job with him. and Mirage's personality fits with Noah so incredibly well. They've got the same type of style, use the same slang, stuff like that, and they compliment each other. Mirage is so genuinely interested and curious about Noah that he comes off as extremely friendly, defensive, and playful. He doesn't hesitate to risk his life for Noah and he gives Noah a little gauntlet to at least keep himself safe when they're apart. he even tells Noah off the bat that he can turn into any car and be sold so Noah can have money for his family. Maybe its the fact that Mirage has been cooped up and told to stay hidden for so long that he can't help but appreciate the first person to "reawaken" him, but regardless their relationship is just extremely refreshing and nice. The way they can bounce off each other is awesome. God i love them so much honestly I can't think of a better duo than these two theyre just perfect for each other whether its platonic or more

#transformers #transformers mirage #noah diaz #mirage #mirage x noah #tf rotb #rise of the beasts #transformers rise of the beasts

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marvelstars · 10 months

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"All slaves have a transmitter placed inside their bodies somewhere." "I've been working on a scanner to try and locate mine, but no luck." "Any attempt to escape…" "And they blow you up. Poof!"

―Shmi and Anakin Skywalker

One of the things that always get my attention in the phantom menace is how easily the people who would take care of Anakin from his 9 years to a young adult could ignore so easily the way his upbringing would affect him but if you see TPM movie, you get why.

Shmi and Anakin are living in horrorific circunstances, they know their owners, Gardulla and Watto can blow them up anytime they want with all legality on Tatooine so what´s left to them to stay not only sane but also kind under such circunstances is to keep what Viktor Emil Frankl called "mental/emotional freedom" they may not be owners of their own bodies but they are owners of their own mind and they can choose to be kind in their circunstances because they "WANT TO BE KIND" not because some code tells them they have to be kind or compassionate.

This is a family who has personally seen slaves being blown up, from kids, to women to adults of any age, a family who lived inside Gardulla´s the Hutt palace, you only need to remember ROTJ to understand this is a mother who had to explain to anakin what sex was from a very young age so he could tell her if someone wanted to take advantage of him that way even if she could not stop them from taking advantage of her Son.

QUI-GON: You should be proud of your son. He gives without any thought of reward.

SHMI: Well he knows nothing of greed.

So when the Jedi came to Tatooine, given the stories both Shmi and Anakin heard about them, most notably the story about them freeing slaves from the former Sith Empire some thousands of years ago, they didn´t expect much but at least they expected the problem to be recognized but Qui-Gon has to explain to them that they are on Tatooine on accident and that they are not here to free slaves and when you get to Coruscant you learn that the Jedi are mostly concerned to what happens in the Senate to put much attention to what happens in the wider galaxy.

So we get in an scenario where Anakin is send to the Temple by his mother to give him a chance of a normal life but the world in which he gets to doesn´t even have the lenses to begin to understand his pov and not only that, they expect him to adapt himself to them, not the other way around.

You think? I don´t know Yoda, If I were a 9 year old who still has a ticking bomb inside my body(Qui-Gon didnt had time to get him to an infirmary), who had to leave behind my mother in such circunstances and who now is surrounded by adults called masters, who can read my mind, you know, the only thing left free for a slave like Anakin, I guess I would be pretty afraid too and not because I am falling to the darkside but because it´s a normal human reaction but Jedi are just not that empatethic in this version of the Order right?

So what we get is that Anakin gets to live in a place with people who certainly have good intentions, who see themselves as the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy but who mostly believe this means doing what the Senate tells them to do, they are completely unable and unwilling to even begin to understand Anakin, most of them, even Yoda have too sheltered lives to begin to understand where Anakin is coming from and it shows painfully as part of the tragedy, because where they see Anakin, they see pain/anger/hate and where Anakin sees them, he sees ignorance and lack of empathy that he at times sees as cruelty but both sides try to make it work, acting as if that´s not what they see on each other.

So even if Obi-Wan did his best to understand Anakin he´s still too sheltered to understand him they way his mother did, he believes Anakin having a problem with food snacks is a sign of him being greedy /asking for special treatment instead of being a sign of someone who has been starved before as punishment and a natural reaction is to keep food and insects around so he doesn´t die of hunger, Obi-Wan is just disgusted by it.

But you know someone who certainly grew up as sheltered as the members of the jedi order, as part of a noble house in a mid rim planet but who has plenty of life experiences and isn´t so set in his ways that he can recognize the signs Anakin is showing for all to see? who has travelled to Tatooine and many other worlds as part of his Sith training? Palpatine, this is why he allowed Anakin to stay in the Jedi Order, he knew he would just grow up bitter and resentful of them because they were just too set in their own ways to try to understand and that for him, was just preparation for him to be turned into a Sith. He can be the one adult who understands where Anakin is coming from and he doesn´t even need to lie.

So when I see this character seen in the fandom as someone spoiled (lol) who gave Obi-Wan a hard time every chance he got, I wish Lucas had been more direct in telling this part of the story because there´s just so much of this tragedy lost in translation that isn´t even funny.

But you know who also had the means to get to Anakin and completely understand what the hell happened, who was from the same world? Who knew how to get to him in his own language despite years of being submerged in the darkside? Yes, his Son Luke, so I guess this is how the story rhymes.

#anakin skywalker #shmi skywalker #luke skywalker #star wars #the phantom menace #return of the jedi #Yoda #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Palpatine #QuI-Gon Jinn #Mace Windu #slavery #long post

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aha-chuu · 1 year

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I saw a theory (more of an idea, really) on Reddit that Kaveh might become the next Grand Sage, and I just wanted to squeal about that for a hot minute.

(And for clarity cos I feel like it'll come up: Kaveh doesn't have any reliable leaks relating to his kit nor his rarity (whether he's a five star or four star), and even if he is a four star he could very well still be super important to Sumeru's chain of authority (see Ningguang and Kujou Sara if you're doubtful)).

Anyway, my squealing:

It actually makes a surprising amount of sense for Kaveh to become the Grand Sage based on quest info alone - Alhaitham says at the end of Act 5 of the archon quest that he "wouldn't be surprised if Kaveh was appointed as a sage":

While his tone sounds sarcastic, Alhaitham is typically quite honest with his words. His deceits always come by omission, not by lying. Of course, Kaveh assumes Alhaitham is being mocking here, but then in Alhaitham's story quest Kaveh says himself that he should have been made Grand Sage over Alhaitham -

So we have examples in both of Kaveh's in game scenes that convey a desire (or, at the very least, a capacity) to be a Sage. These exchanges are rather comedic though, so I think we should take evidence from Nahida herself; specifically, her "About Kaveh" voiceline:

(sorry for the poor quality)

Nahida herself praises Kaveh's understanding of their Nation and of wisdom itself, whereas she admonishes Alhaitham's viewpoint in her corresponding voiceline about him. This implies that Nahida would choose Kaveh over Alhaitham as Grand Sage.

Lore wise we know that Kaveh is an accomplished graduate of the Ksharewar Darshan, widely known and well-liked. He built the Palace of Alcarazy(?) and the NPCs there sing his praises. While his interactions with Alhaitham are goofy, he can evidently keep up with him in debates and in Alhaitham's voicelines he says that Kaveh's intellect is equal to his own.

Also, there is a pattern in the game so far: each non-archon 'leader' or 'authority' has the vision matching their archon. Jean for Mondstadt, Ningguang for Liyue and Sara/Yae for Inazuma (depending on your perspective). It seemed that Alhaitham would fill this role in Sumeru, seeing as he's dendro and did take over as the Acting Grand Sage, similar to Jean's title. However, his time in that position is incredibly short-lived since he resigns at the end of his story quest (well, technically before it even starts). It is likely that "who will be the new Grand Sage?" will be an ongoing plot thread in Sumeru, much like "when will Varka return?" is in Mondstadt.

Since Kaveh is dendro, he would suit this pattern very well.

I also do just love the vibes of what it would mean for his character, and I think it would be very fun for Sumeru to be led by someone so wholeheartedly compassionate for everyone around them. Kaveh loves the arts and cares a lot about other people, so he matches Nahida's vision of Sumeru much better than Alhaitham does. Which isn't to say Alhaitham is cruel or uncaring, but that he is (as he says himself) not suited to the responsibility of leadership.

And, speaking of Alhaitham, the way this would develop their dynamic is actually rather funny. Technically Kaveh would become Alhaitham's boss, but everyone around them would be aware that Alhaitham saved the country and that Kaveh has only received the position because Alhaitham passed it over first. Can you imagine how frustrating that would be for Kaveh? Technically in charge, but with this information looming over everyone's heads?

Since Hoyo does like to keep a certain status quo, especially in voicelines, it's likely that Alhaitham and Kaveh will remain roommates. This still works even if Kaveh is promoted, with four possible explanations:

Kaveh's debt to Dori is so huge that he's financially screwed for life regardless of his salary

Kaveh is so bad with money that even once he's paid off his debt he still fails to save up for his own house

Because technically Alhaitham's house should also belong to him, Kaveh is stubborn and refuses to move out

Alhaitham and Kaveh reconcile/figure themselves out enough that they actually want to live together even if there's no financial incentive to

Also, I cannot overstate how amusing it would be for the Kavetham dynamic shift of Kaveh getting to fuck with Alhaitham a little as payback for all Alhaitham's trolling.

Anyways, this is a theory/hc that I really like, so I hope we don't get a mystery Sumeru character in 4.6 or something that we've never heard of before who gets to become Grand Sage.

#alhaitham #kaveh #genshin impact #al haitham #kavetham #sumeru archon quest #alhaitham story quest #acting grand sage #theory #headcanon #alhaiveh

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lefluoritesys · 5 months

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It's so weird to feel excluded in DID spaces because... we don't suffer 24/7. And I mean we don't suffer so much, we actually have a good experience with DID most of the time, and it genuienly helps us survive. Like we're not perfect, of course, but the good overrides the bad, and most of our problems don't come from alters.

I could pop in to front and ask an alter at front to not talk to somebody, or do something for me, and they would. If they have questions, they'd ask. Like, "Hey, I don't like this person... can you be careful around them?" or "Don't share that info about me", and they'd be like "Okay, cool" and move on.

We found ways to differenciate between each other, and sometimes dissociation actually makes us feel better. Because with too many alters in front, we can temporarily dissociate into one blob that would let us function. Best part? It lets us use all the roles of alters inf ront at once as this one blob. Temporary merging that isn't really temporary merging, to be honest... I have no idea how else to describe it. it is but it isn't. And even if there is dissociation, it's not cause of alters, it's cause of our brain being a bitch.

I sometimes lean back in my chair in the front room when I'm in control of the body, turn to our physical persecutor (who also happens to be my best friend), and go, "Hey, you good if I do homework on your subject today?" And they go, "Sure. You sure you can do it tho? Like, do you have memories of how?" And I'd go, "I think so, I just don't wanna switch rn, I'll call you if I need help, though." And they'd go "Cool."

Like, don't get me wrong, we have had problems. But they were never because somebody was bad, they were because of people's actions that were honestly mostly fueled by being abused, trauma, and figuring out how to properly function. No one was ever the problem. We have alters who are just awful, but that's a separate problem. People in front for us are lovely. Sometimes we have fights, sometimes we have relapses, sometimes we just have horrible things happen to each other or IRL or something else. But no one is ever the problem. We never had that mentality that DID, and our alters, were the problem. Their actions are sometimes, but not them as separate personalities. Actually, we had problems with each other and with DID because people outside told us we should. DID improved our lives, and the areas that it didn't, we never saw it as it "ruined" them, it just... made them harder, and told us there are different ways we need to go about daily stuff and life. To each other, we're literally just people with mental health issues who are trying to make the body functional, but also? We're even kinda happy to be here. And if not happy, at the very least neutral enough not to want to become one.

It's so weird hanging around here, having a blog dedicated to spread positivity about DID, kinda being like:

"Hello, we are actually... functional. And would have always been if people didn't try to convince us otherwise out of their own misery and want for everyone else to be miserable."

We have issues, but they're not because of DID, DID actually helps us with them. It doesn't make us feel invalid, I don't think, but it does make us question whether we belong in DID community. And we have a lot of alters with low empathy, somehow, that makes us more compassionate? It's such a weird problem to have. It shouldn't even be a problem but here we are.

-host

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jewishconvertthings · 7 months

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This isn’t a conversion question but I hope it’s okay to ask here. Is there anything I can do to support people living in Israel during this terrifying time?

Hi anon,

I wrestled with how/if to respond to this, because I try very hard to keep I/P politics off of this blog and have since I started this blog in 2017 or so. It is not relevant to this blog what my opinions are on this, and it's hard to talk about the topic at all (even in a neutral way) without people accusing you of being Zionist or Anti-Zionist if what you say does not perfectly line up with their viewpoint.

But in the end, I think that this transcends politics. It has to. Condemning the slaughter, torture, and sexual abuse of human beings, whoever they are, is the correct opinion. I don't care who is doing it, and I don't care why. This isn't a political debate; this is basic human decency.

As for what you can do right now? If you have Israeli or Palestinian friends (whether they are in your community or in Israel/Palestine, reach out to them. They may b'ezrat Hashem be safe, but they are not ok, so instead of asking, just let them know you are thinking of them, that you are praying for their continued safety and for peace to come swiftly and justly. They may not feel like talking, but if they do, hold space for them.

There are a lot of excellent organizations collecting funds to help with the great need that has been created by these atrocities. Find ones whose mission and goals align with your own, double check their validity, and then donate what you can.

Many Jewish communities (most, I assume) are currently organizing or have already set up community events to address the issues and to pray as a community. Look at your email - my inbox had no less than twelve different events (online and in person) within the next few days - and check the websites for Jewish organizations that you affiliate with for opportunities to gather and debrief.

And, perhaps, the most important thing from a social media standpoint: make sure that you vet *all* information before deciding to accept it as true and cross-check it with other sources, especially if you plan on sharing that information. Both Hamas and the Israeli government are masters of propaganda, and the Western media really likes to lean into this for a better story. Since Western media thrives on conflict and hyped up emotions to keep people interested and scrolling, there is a strong incentive to publish as much as quickly as possible, the more sensational the better. Use reputable sources, but don't rely on them to get it right 100% of the time. I would suggest looking at reputable sources that have a clear, known bias in each direction and comparing them both to media that at least attempts to be neutral. So far, it doesn't seem like too too many facts have been in dispute (most of the information about the atrocities committed by Hamas has been posted by Hamas as propaganda) but it's early. If you have the emotional bandwidth and have done the research, please correct the misinformation you see from friends, family, and followers. Do **not** jump in with assumptions or non-researched opinions, because that will only fuel the chaos and not help anyone.

Above all, be smart, be wary of disinformation, be compassionate, and (to the extent you are able) be generous. Remember that civilians are civilians, that neither group of civilians chose this, that plenty of them dream of a peaceful and just coexistence, and that intentionally hurting non-combatants is always wrong no matter the justification.

As for me, I will turn to Tehillim and to the words of the Prayer for Peace:

May we see the day when war and bloodshed cease, When a great peace will embrace the whole world. Then nation will not threaten nation, and the human family will not again know war. For all who live on earth shall realize we have not come into being to hate or to destroy. We have come into being to praise, to labor, and to love. Compassionate God, bless the leaders of all nations with the power of compassion. Fulfill the promise conveyed in Scripture: I will bring peace to the land and you shall lie down and no one shall terrify you. I will rid the land of vicious beasts and it shall not be ravaged by war. Let justice and righteousness flow like a mighty stream. Let God’s peace fill the earth as the waters fill the sea. And let us say: Amen

#jumblr #really hope I don't regret posting this #<<sigh>>

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clangenrising · 8 months

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Month 6 - Greenleaf

“Who do you think their mentors are gonna be?” Ospreymask asked, bouncing along ahead of her patrol mates. “I hope I get one of them, I would love for Barleykit to be my first apprentice. Or maybe Sparrowkit! Floodkit would probably be too much for me to handle, I think.” Russetfrond sighed heavily. She had been rambling about the kits for at least ten minutes now - about their favorite games, about the way they slept or talked or ate. It wasn’t that Russetfrond didn’t like kits or Oddstripe’s litter in general but he was starting to hope he would never hear the word cute again in his life.

“Probably,” laughed Yarrowshade who had been no help at all, “I don’t think I could handle mentoring Floodkit.”

“Can we please change the topic?” Russetfrond groaned. “I feel like a rat is hollowing out my skull.”

“What, you aren’t excited to see who Goldenstar assigns them to?” Ospreymask turned back to look at him as she kept bouncing and frolicking along the EarthClan border.

Russetfrond made a noise in the back of his throat. “StarClan, no. With our luck she’ll give Floodkit to Scorch and take the other two for herself.” He could just picture it, Goldenstar declaring that only she and her new counselor understood how to properly teach apprentices how to be open minded and compassionate.

“Okay, who would you assign them to then?” huffed Yarrowshade indignantly. “Obviously you know better than everyone.”

“Easy,” Russetfrond stated, tail high. “I would give Floodkit to Nightfrost, she’s experienced as a warrior and a mentor and she has a firm paw to keep him in line with. I’d give Sparrowkit to Pantherhaze who would teach him to think through his actions and remember his duty. And then I’d give Barleykit to Ospreymask,” at this the dark tabby gave an excited ‘mrrp’, “because she already has rapport with the kit and would be able to pull her out of her shell.” Yarrowshade huffed again, quieter this time, and Russetfrond couldn’t help a bit of a smirk from sliding onto his features. Yarrowshade couldn’t deny that his choices were well justified.

“You should tell that to Goldenstar,” Ospreymask purred, “put in a good word for me.”

“Yeah,” he laughed harshly, “Maybe she’d even get permission from Scorch to hear me out.”

“Knock it off, man” Yarrowshade growled sourly.

Russetfrond laughed sharply through his nose and fixed his gaze on his pouting clanmate. “Aw, did I hit a sore spot?” he mocked, “I forgot the fox had you wrapped around her paw too.”

“You’re just grumpy you’re not leader,” Yarrowshade countered. Russetfrond noted that he failed to address any of his accusations.

“So what if I am?” he shrugged. “That doesn’t make Goldenstar any more right or the fox any more trustworthy.”

“Stop calling her that,” said Yarrowshade through gritted teeth.

“Or what?” laughed Russetfrond, his posture still relaxed. He was pretty sure he could beat Yarrowshade if it came to a fight. They’d sparred in the past and Russetfrond was still the bigger and stockier opponent. Yarrowshade was a good hunter but he was terrible at defense.

Sensing the tension in the air, Ospreymask laughed forcibly and said, “H-hey! Are those twolegs?”

Yarrowshade rolled his eyes. “Oh, I get it. You want me to get physical so you can feel all superior. Not gonna happen.”

“That’s what I thought,” Russetfrond said smugly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” hissed Yarrowshade, fur bristling.

“You’re a coward is what,” he replied.

“Guys, seriously,” Ospreymask cut in, her voice more forceful. “I think those are twolegs.” This finally got the toms’ attention and they pulled their eyes off of each other to look out over the border to the edge of the trees where two or three twolegs were crouched amidst the grass, working intently at something with their paws. The patrol stopped to watch them for a moment, a hush falling over them instinctively. Russetfrond frowned. Last time he’d spotted twolegs in the grass Sagetooth had been caught in one of their hunting traps, the kind that usually snagged coyotes and foxes. He thought these looked like different twolegs but he couldn’t be sure without getting close enough to scent them. Even with them over the border, their presence made his stomach twist.

A soft rustle of grass nearby pulled his attention and he tensed automatically. The smell of vole and EarthClan hit his nose a moment before a small, pale blue and ginger tabby pounced into the open a couple fox lengths away. She sat up proudly with the catch between her teeth and glanced around, freezing when her eyes caught on the RisingClan patrol. She dropped the vole immediately and licked the blood from her lips as if doing so would hide any proof that she had caught it.

“Um…” she started, seeming like she might just sprint away.

“Hey, there!” Yarrowshade called softly, so as not to draw the attention of the twolegs, “Nice catch.”

“Uh, thanks,” she smiled anxiously and glanced over her shoulder. Behind her, Sprucespeckle padded out of the grass and grinned at the patrol.

“Afternoon,” she said warmly, “is there any trouble here?”

“Nah,” Ospreymask grinned back. “I think she’s still on your side of the border. We’re all good.” Russetfrond wouldn’t have let the apprentice off the hook that quickly but she was probably right.

The tortoiseshell let out a deep breath, shoulders slacking and bobbed her head in a respectful bow. “Thank you. I didn’t realize I was so close.”

“Just be careful in the future,” Russetfrond said, shifting his weight. It was a genuine warning but he hoped his voice didn’t hold any threatening tones.

“I will be,” the apprentice said dutifully.

“Any idea what the twolegs are up to?” Yarrowshade asked, pointing with a jerk of his muzzle.

“Not sure,” said Sprucespeckle, following his gaze to frown in their direction. “They’re digging I think. Not sure what for.”

“Maybe they cached some prey and they’re trying to find it?” Ospreymask mused.

“I don’t think twolegs do that,” Yarrowshade chuckled. “Their noses are too bad, they’d never find them again.”

“Oh, yeah…” Ospreymask frowned.

“Orangestar thinks they’re trying to find roots or something,” said Sprucespeckle. “I guess we’ll have to- ” At that moment, a sudden wail broke the air, a young and frightened cry from somewhere on EarthClan’s side of the border. Sprucespeckle snapped to attention, head pivoting about forty-five degrees from the twolegs towards the noise and the apprentice gasped.

“Toadpaw,” she whispered frightfully. Immediately, Russetfrond’s body reacted and he bounded over the border towards the noise without a thought.

Sprucespeckle said, “Dawnpaw, stay here,” and then dashed after him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the twolegs taking interest too. He and Sprucespeckle hurried towards the continued cries and shortly came upon Orangestar who was crouching near a small tunnel in the ground.

“It’s gonna be alright,” she said quickly, “but you’ve gotta be quiet, okay? I’ll get you out of there.” Beyond her, Russetfrond saw a pair of huge green eyes staring out of the gloom and the silver glint of something in between them and Orangestar.

“What happened?” Sprucespeckle asked as she hurried to her leader’s side.

Orangestar looked up and blinked for a moment when she saw Russetfrond but shook her head and replied, “We thought there was something in the tunnel and then as soon as he went into it, this,” she struggled for the words for a beat before settling on, “thing snapped up behind him and now he can’t get out!”

“Move over,” Russetfrond said, pushing his way down into the tunnel and Orangestar obliged. The dappled brown apprentice in front of him shook from fear as he huddled in the middle of some strange container made of thin silvery lines woven into a pattern of squares. Russetfrond grabbed one of the lines in his teeth and pulled only to find it as hard as stone and cool as a stream. The structure rattled a bit as he tugged but he couldn’t seem to pull it apart like he had expected to. He reared up and tried to pull at the top of it with his claws, again to no avail. He hissed irritably, causing the apprentice to flinch.

“It’s okay, Toadpaw,” Orangestar said before pushing back in. “Here, let me try.”

“It’s too strong to tear apart,” Russetfrond said but backed out of her way regardless. “Maybe we can dig him out.”

“You’d better hurry,” Sprucespeckle said, facing the grass with her jaws parted and her ears perked. “I think the twolegs are coming this way.”

“Fox dung,” he spat under his breath and scrambled up on top of the burrow. With urgent haste, he started to dig at the freshly churned earth - a strange thing for the roof of a tunnel, he thought - as Orangestar rattled the silver lines below him. Soon, his paws hit something other than dirt, something crinkly and slick and sturdy. He unsheathed his claws and tried to tear it open but he couldn’t seem to find any place for his claws to sink into.

“They’re almost here,” Sprucespeckle warned, voice rising anxiously. Russetfrond looked around at the situation. He made a decision.

“We have to go,” he said to Orangestar, jumping down from the top.

“What?” she exclaimed, staring at him like he had just proposed they throw themselves in the river.

“We can’t get him out and the twolegs are nearly upon us,” he said quickly. “If you stay and get caught your clan will be without a leader. We have to go.”

“Orangestar?” the apprentice cried in disbelief. The sounds of twolegs stomping through the grass were loud and close.

“Now,” hissed Russetfrond. The young leader looked quickly between him and her apprentice. Russetfrond saw the despair set in.

“Toadpaw, I’m sorry,” she mumbled, backing away.

“No!” he wailed, “No you can’t leave me!”

“I’m so sorry,” she shook her head, gaze unfocused, and Russetfrond pushed her with his shoulder. They headed into the grass, Sprucespeckle bounding ahead of them, and Toadpaw screamed.

“Please! Orangestar, please! Don’t leave me!” Russetfrond shut his ears to the noise, and focused on getting Orangestar away. He felt sick. The twolegs descended on Toadpaw and began to croon in high pitched tones and Toadpaw’s cries for help died. Russetfrond hoped the apprentice had fallen silent out of fear and not for another reason but there was no way to know for sure. Beside him, Orangestar was shaking.

“I’m so sorry,” she babbled to no one. “Stars, I’m so sorry.”

They returned to where Dawnpaw was waiting with Yarrowshade and Ospreymask. Yarrowshade immediately met Russetfrond’s gaze and there was a clear question there. ‘What did you do?’

“Where’s Toadpaw?” Dawnpaw choked out, but there was no way she hadn’t heard the screams.

“We had to leave him,” Sprucespeckle swallowed, not meeting her apprentice’s eyes. Dawnpaw’s gaze went hollow as she sat with a thump.

“Oh,” was all she said.

“You what?” Yarrowshade glared.

“We couldn’t save him,” Russetfrond said. “Maybe if we’d had more time, but it was either that or get caught with him. We had no choice.”

“Oh, Stars,” Ospreymask breathed, moving to curl her tail around Dawnpaw.

Yarrowshade’s eyes were full of fire. “You could have-”

“What, fought them?!” Russetfrond snapped, stepping forward with a bristling tail. “You know that wouldn’t have worked.”

“It could have!” Yarrowshade spat back. “You could have tried!”

“And what if we’d lost?” Russetfrond huffed darkly. “Huh? What if they’d taken Orangestar? What then, Yarrowshade?” No response. Yarrowshade’s green eyes continued to burn but he set his jaw and fell silent. Russetfrond sighed and let his hostile posture settle.

“Trust me,” he said, “we did everything we could.”

“I’m so sorry,” Orangestar said again, looking at Dawnpaw. “I didn’t know what else to do, I-”

“It’s fine,” Dawnpaw cut her off, her face an emotionless mask. “I understand.” Russetfrond admired the response but he knew how much it must have hurt. Orangestar went quiet and looked down at her paws.

“We should go back to camp,” Sprucespeckle said after a moment.

“Us too,” Russetfrond sighed. “We need to warn everyone about these new traps.”

“Thanks for the help,” Sprucespeckle said weakly.

“Of course,” he nodded. “Be careful getting home.”

“We will,” she said, and ushered Dawnpaw to her feet. Orangestar glanced distantly at them and managed to stand a beat later. Ospreymask looked at Russetfrond now, searching his face. He wondered what she saw there. At the very least, it looked like she felt only sympathy. Yarrowshade, on the other hand, resented him, he was sure. He shrugged it off and started leading the group back into RisingClan territory. These were the kinds of choices that had to be made sometimes. In the back of his head, he wondered what Goldenstar would have done in his place.

#clan gen #clangen #warriors #warrior cats #warriors oc #clangen oc #warrior cats oc #clan gen oc #clangenrising #Russetfrond #Yarrowshade #Ospreymask #Orangestar #Toadpaw #Dawnpaw #Sprucespeckle #Twolegs

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