Marauders Drabble request: Sirius calling you “the wife” or “the mrs” even though you’re not married
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“Okay, gotta go,” he slaps his legs, rising from the plush velvet sofa in the common room and striding towards the portrait hole away from the rest of the marauders, “the missus wants us to go on a walk round the black lake before dinner,”
“The what now?” James cranes his neck to make eye contact with Sirius, smirking at his friend’s suddenly wide eyes.
“Uh,” he shifted his weight from foot to foot, glancing across the room before recovering his confidence and striding through the portrait hole and calling, “the missus, boys! James if you weren’t such a wuss you could get my brother but nooooo,”
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girls r like "but he's my comfort character" and then it's literally the most emotionally traumatized man you have ever seen ever
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i don't WANT to read smut right now
i WANT to read a passionate, poetic, jaw dropping, tears streaking down my face, heart wrenching, giggle inducing, feet kicking, cringy yet amazing, gorgeous story written by someone who apologizes for english not being their first language(they're the best writers ever) which has 4 chapters and then makes me scream because it hasnt been updated in months and the author is mia
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13-year-old Sirius: You know what, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first and then you.
12-year-old Regulus: Okay.
[downstairs]
Walburga: What do you want for breakfast?
Sirius: I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bitch.
Walburga: Go to your room!
Walburga, to Regulus: And what do you want?
Regulus: Dunno but it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs.
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sirius thigh fucking reader
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“Oh, fuck,” he leans his cheek to the inside of your ankle, fingers tightening their grip, on on your calf and the other on your thigh, squishing your legs together as much as possible.
“Oh my God, Siri,” your head crashes back against the stack of pillows on his bed, hips bucking up, chasing the friction of his cock against your swollen, oversensitive clit, “just like that, ah-“
“Shh, darling, can’t have the others hearing,” he gestures with his head around the room to all his dorm mates sleeping soundly in their own bed, still not relenting with his pace despite his words.
“But- but-“ Sirius cuts you off with a hand over your mouth, putting just enough pressure on it to let you know he’s serious.
“Good girl,” he cooes down at you, speeding up his pace and letting his thumb drift down to play with the combination of your fluids and his, smothering it messily in between your thighs to give himself better friction.
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My Friends/Family: Hey can I see your phone? I need to look something up.
Me, closing like 80+ Ao3 Tabs as fast as I can:
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