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#‘haha guys if there’s anything ODD I don’t want to be BLAMED :)’
petersthree · 1 year
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I know the chances are unlikely because Logan probably had a burial plot picked out and updated said plot after his marriages but GOD I think it would be so delicious if he just. Forgot to update that and after years of semi-pretending she didn’t exist he ended up being buried next to Connor’s Unnamed Mother for the rest of eternity.
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kwiwrites · 2 months
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On the Hills (1/?)
Hello everyone! Thank you for 10k hits on the hills. In celebration, I've put together a little essay of sorts on the makings, as well as my thought process behind this fic. I still have a lot more to say about it, so if you guys enjoy this please let me know, and I would love to publish a second part.
this account is still not in use, and basically inactive. I just didn't wanna put anything marauders on my other accounts haha.
Note: This entire doc is about my interpretation of Regulus and how I wrote him in the “The Hills.” Your view of him may not match in the same way, and that’s alright! 
Initial Idea
I honestly don’t have  a timeline or even reason for writing this fic. I remember thinking that there weren’t enough fics with Regulus dealing with his mental health and just having a shit time of it, so I sat down and wrote the first chapter on a whim some time in October. 
The way I viewed Regulus back then (this was only my second Jegulus fic- the first one being a long-winded fluffpiece with barely any character development or even actual character traits of James and Regulus other than being horribly terribly in love with each other- the fic is called Finding Barty if anyone’s curious) was different from many other people (and even slightly different from the way I view him now). Regulus to me was a person who wasn’t exactly brave- not in the ways that are “visible” to people at least. He’s not a coward but he isn’t outspoken as Sirius, especially when it comes to rebelling against his parents. To me, he also never blamed Sirius for leaving without him- at least not more than he blamed himself for not being stronger. I don’t think Regulus could ever channel his anger outwards at Sirius, he would turn it inwards at himself, destroying himself before he could harm others. 
And so- this is the basis that this fic was born off of.  A vague idea of Regulus getting disowned and a half-formed idea of a character. Like I said, there wasn’t much to go off of. I was impulsive, and I had time. So I wrote the first two chapters in a few days, published it and decided to see where it would take me. 
On the story
(Note: In this section I am NOT invalidating romance stories. I literally write romance stories as my hobby. I read romance stories exclusively.  Just- The Hills is not one. It will never be one. That does not take away from nor add to its value as a fic.) 
The Hills was never meant to be a romance story. The Jegulus is there, yes- but it’s not the focus. I think it’s better that way, though readers might disagree.
In the first outline of the story (now buried deep in my notes app, never to see the light of day again, for better or worse) the Jegulus was a lot more prominent. There were many instances of James and Regulus growing closer, bonding together- but I never managed to fully follow through with it. Even when I tried to incorporate the Jegulus more, I just realized it wouldn’t work. It simply was not meant to be the focus of the story. The exes storyline also just didn’t exist originally. James and Regulus were going to organically grow closer, and fall in love. 
Looking back, I realize that that would never have worked- not if I wanted to completely shift gears and turn this mental-health focused character study into an actual romance story. Regulus falling in love with James would have been at odds with his constant struggles to keep living, and while those two things are not mutually exclusive, I do believe that if I had kept the original outline and made the Jegulus more of a focus- then it would have fallen apart as a narrative. 
I didn’t even realize I was deviating from the romance part of the fic until it was quite literally pointed out to me (albeit in a positive light) by one kind commenter. The more chapters I wrote, the more I diverged from my original idea of a Jegulus fic. Somewhere along the way it turned into purely a Regulus focused fic, with James being there as a sort of physical manifestation of Regulus’ past, as well as a narrative tool that allowed me to give Regulus comfort without it feeling like any of the characters was trying to “fix” him. 
So yes, I would call this a Regulus character study before anything else, along with a study of how depression/ anxiety/ self harm / suicidal thoughts can impact a person; tear them apart at the bone and turn their life and their sense of self inside out. It’s about how absolutely debilitating mental illnesses can be; how they are a constant, daily struggle that you can’t just overcome like so many people lead you to believe. It takes time. And sometimes it doesn’t fully go away, your life just grows around it. You become better, not because you have been fixed- but because you have come to terms with being fractured. You are learning how to cope with it, and you are better than you were tomorrow, the day before. That’s all that matters. I wanted Regulus to learn all of this through the course of this fic.
Writing this fic was a form of catharsis for me, and I wanted to give other people facing similar struggles the same form of hope I felt while writing it. I won’t go into too much detail, but this fic is deeply, deeply personal to me, and seeing so many others resonate with it and love it in the same way I do has been awe-inspiring, for lack of a better word. I cannot thank all of the readers, the commenters and everyone who gave this fic a chance enough. 
Thank you to anyone who's read this entire thing, please do let me know if anyone would like a second or even third part since this is not all I have to say abt this fic
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dankovskaya · 1 year
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Okayyy another egregiously long sitting where I don’t think I even progressed all that much and I now have some actual (long, very long, unstructured) thoughts on characters and plot etc 👇
Well first of all since this just happened. Ok I love Merrin a lot and I love Cal and I love the unique dynamic that they have together BUT -- and I can accept that I might be one of maybe 5 joyless cunts that feel this way -- I was so hoping there would never be anything actually romantic between them. I love that after fallen order they (and the whole crew!) grew so close and familiar with each other and genuinely love each other etc + the game has been doing a really good job at displaying that familiarity in a convincing and endearing way but I so cannot describe the dread I felt in my stomach when they lingered on her putting her arms around him when they were riding the fucking. SPAMMEL. And I probably rolled my eyes at least 4 times during their little huddling for warmth in the desert cave scene 😭
But it sucks because I literally loved about 93% of their interactions that I’ve seen so far it’s just when there are those little Haha ooooo like-like? like-like? moments I’m just like. Anakin you’re breaking my heart. You’re going down a path I can’t follow. Being dramatic obviously it’s not like it ruins their dynamic or anything and Merrin’s methods of showing affection are so cute that I really don’t care That much in the first place I just can’t help but blame the 90000 star war fans who looked at fallen order and were like OOOOOO they’re in LOOOOVFVVVEEEEEEE 🥰😏🥰😏 literlaly just because they like. Touched hands that one time. And relate to each other as survivors of fucking genocides. What if we all killed ourselves. Whatever. If I’m not crazy and the rest of you also did not really want or expect Merrin to turn into an outright love interest please let me know.
Ok for the actual plot overall this thing with.... Help I already forgot the planet’s name I know it starts with a T. And like Dagan whatever the fuck. I mean. I know nothing about the High Republic era content because I just have never had any interest in it but I’m excited for this guy as a fallen Jedi antagonist and for me the most interesting moment in the game so far was after their first fight when Cal, even after watching him actively bleed his fucking kyber crystal and curse the Jedi Order, was still begging him to stay and help with the fight against the empire because there are so few of them left!!! It’s very different from how he approached Taron Malicos in the first game (from. memory.) and seems very informed by how his mindset has changed after fighting this same fight for so long etc... I was very confused initially tho about Cal’s interest in the lost planet as a potential hiding place from the empire? It made way more sense after he met up with Cere and told her about it and she proposed it could be a refuge for surviving Jedi + force sensitives + their families and I can now buy that as the driving motivation for the rest of the game or whatever but Cal did not mention anything like that 💀 All he seemed to see it as before that was a place where Greez and all his besties and whatever other people he cares about could hide from the empire which seemed incredibly odd because “hiding from the empire” is completely antithetical to all of his beliefs at this point and is quite literally why he had been avoiding the mantis crew for the past however many years? But maybe I just misunderstood something lmfao.
And on that last point I was worried the whole “we haven’t seen each other in a long time but now it’s time to get the gang back together but ooooo there’s some tension something happened....” thing was going to feel very forced and dumb but actually I think Greez Cere and Merrin all having (very respectable) reasons to want to split off and pursue their own goals and Cal being very pissed off about that and lowkey taking it personally because he projected his own mindset and self-enforced obligations onto them so hard that it felt like a betrayal and thus caused a mild amount of resentment which pretty much goes away as soon as he actually has a proper individual conversation with all of them again and is finally able to comprehend their perspectives was really good. Holy shit that was a long sentence. Really tho as soon as I heard that the mantis crew was separated and had to be reassembled I was like ohhhh goddamnit manufactured drama to pad out the playtime but it’s really not like that at all lmfao. Like I’m pretty sure at this point it’s basically wrapped up since the common goal has been established and again it was literally just due to Cal’s frankly inhuman expectations that he has for himself and his inability to imagine being able to live outside of that so as soon as he actually sits down and listens to their reasoning and possibly gets told that he has issues he’s like. That makes sense honestly my bad. Lmfao.
#sw
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masterofmunson · 3 years
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look after you (1)
TFATWS Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: Sam asks you to join him and Bucky on a mission in Madripoor. When you get injured, Bucky feels the need to remind you more than once that he’s supposed to look after you now that Steve’s gone.
Warnings: tfatws spoilers, language, violence, blood, grief, angst, major pining
Word Count: 6k+ 
Author’s Note: Here she is!! I’m really excited to see what you guys think! This is my first Bucky fic in AGES! I decided to make this into a mini series since this fic is so long haha. Please let me know what you think. Comments, reblogs, and asks are highly encouraged and appreciated! Enjoy!
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You hadn’t seen Sam or Bucky in several weeks. You were still adjusting to life post-blip. It had been a long five years for you and just seconds for them. You were no longer the bright-eyed and bushy tailed recruit. You’d grown into your position amongst the established and experienced Avengers. Now, it meant nothing. 
Tony’s gone. Steve’s dead, Natasha too. The Avengers had officially disbanded. You felt lost and confused, still blinded by your grief over losing them. You had nowhere to go, so you just floated from place to place as needed. 
You were laying low and a shell of the person you once were. You had no one to look towards anymore. Bucky went his separate ways and got some sort of footing in New York City with the pardon he was given by the government since his return to the states. You checked in every now and then with him, but you didn’t want to slow down his progress so you distanced yourself from him. 
You know he feels some sort of responsibility towards you. Steve did too, and you suppose now that he’s gone, Bucky feels the need to take his place. It doesn’t matter that you’re no longer the naive 23 year old he met in Berlin all those years ago. It doesn’t matter that there was something lingering between the two of you before he turned to ash. You’re a grown woman now and war and politics has hardened your soul. 
He needs to move on from you. The version he has of you in his head is gone, dead. He wants a fresh start, and you can’t give it to him. 
Sam checks in with you once in a while. He asks you how you’re doing and you respond the same each time. “Same shit, different day,” you laughed lightly. 
He knows better than to ask you to join him on his missions with the military. You’re not in the right headspace to return to the field, least of all if it meant that you were representing the US government wherever the fight was. 
Now that John Walker has the shield and has been branded the new Captain America, it gives you all the more reason to stay away. If he had so much as just breathed in your direction, you’d kill him and rip the shield from his grasp and return it to Sam. 
You ignored all emails and phone calls that had to do with John Walker. He wanted your blessing on live television, as if that meant anything. Yes, you were close with Steve, but you’re not an original Avenger. You just caught his eye during training one day and he took you under his wing. John Walker just wanted to create a bridge between the two of you since Sam and Bucky were obviously out of the question. 
You were the first person Sam called when he told you he was giving up the shield. You didn’t ask why. You knew he had his reasons and you respected him to accept that whatever the reasons were, they were good enough. 
So, when Sam called in the middle of the night, you picked up the phone without a second thought. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you sit up and fumble for the light on the nightstand beside you. 
“Sam? You do realize it’s three in the morning, right?” you asked, yawning into your phone. 
Sam curses in your ear and apologizes quietly. “Sorry. You would think with all this traveling, I’d remember time zones are a thing,” he laughed softly. 
“What is it, Sam?” 
“We’re in a bit of a tight spot. We could use your help.”
Your brows pinch together. “Who’s we, Sam?”
“Me and Barnes.”
Your heart jumps inside your throat. How the hell did Sam manage to rope Bucky into whatever he’s doing? The last you heard, Bucky wasn’t allowed to go on government missions until his therapist thought he made enough progress to do so. You know he’s nowhere near the progress he wants to be, so how is he with Sam? 
“Jesus, Sam. You know he’s not in the right headspace to go on missions!” There’s a heavy pause between the two of you before you relent. “Where am I meeting you?”
“Latvia. I’ll fill you in when you get here.”
You hang up quickly and hurry out of bed. After so many years of getting up at odd hours for emergency missions and the like, you’re not surprised that Sam asked you to meet him in the middle of the night. You grab your duffle bag and stuff all your belongings back inside. You travel lightly, and now it definitely seemed to work out in your favor. 
You’ve spent the last couple of weeks in a small town just outside of Helena, Montana. It’s nice and quiet and you’ve really taken the time to reflect on your life since things started going back to normal post-blip. The locals are nice and hospitable, and no one asks you about Steve, Tony, or what you thought of John Walker. You hope it had something to do with the fact that they didn’t know who you were. You certainly hoped that was the case. You’ve kept your head down and tried your best to blend in. 
You go hiking quite frequently and take drives through the mountains. It’s nice and relaxing, a far cry from what you’re used to. You’ll definitely miss it, and you have second thoughts about meeting up with Sam, but you push them away. Steve abandoned you both, and you wouldn’t do that to him. 
It takes you several hours to get to the closest international airport and by the time you arrive, the sun begins to rise in the distance. You hurry through the airport security and send Sam a quick update that you’re about to board your flight before you settle in your seat and fall back asleep.
....
You sleep through the entire flight. You blame it on your ability to sleep anywhere due to the number of missions you have under your belt. You’re wide awake when the plane lands and you’re quick to pull out your phone and send a message to Sam that you’ve made it safe and sound to Latvia. 
Your legs are stiff and sore when you stand up for the first time when it’s time to leave. You pull your duffle bag from the overhead compartment and slowly make your way to the front. It takes you nearly an hour to get through customs and now you’re just anxiously waiting to see Sam. 
When you see him waiting for you at the baggage claim area, you grin as your eyes meet. You hurry over to him and drop your duffle bag to the floor as he pulls you in for a hug. It’s warm and tight and it’s exactly what you need. Sam pulls away first and reaches for your bag, throwing an arm over your shoulder as you walk out of the airport to his car. 
You stop walking when you notice two figures near a very fancy yellow car as you and Sam near them. Sam keeps walking and you take slow, tentative steps. You know one of the figures has to be Bucky, but Sam never mentioned a third person. 
“Sam, I thought you said that it was just you and Bucky,” you said cautiously. 
Sam stops in his tracks and lets out a nervous chuckle and scratches the back of his head. It makes your heart race and you swallow the lump in your throat as they begin to come into focus as they near the two of you. “Y/n, before you get angry, I just need you to know that this wasn’t my idea. Believe me when I tell you that he is the last person we would ask for help,” Sam replied as his eyes went from you to the two people approaching.
“Who is he?” you asked through gritted teeth. 
“Ah! Y/n, good to know that your flight went rather smoothly. It is good to see you again.”
No. There’s no way. You must be dreaming. Hemlut Zemo is not standing right in front of you. He is in prison. He is behind bars for the crimes he committed. The two men that you're closest to wouldn’t jailbreak someone as atrocious as Zemo. There has to be an explanation. It doesn’t make sense. 
“What the fuck is Zemo doing out of prison?!” you hissed, looking between Bucky and Sam, demanding an explanation. 
“Y/n, honey, I can explain, just please get in the car,” Bucky pleaded, reaching out to touch your hand. 
You glare at him and take a step back. “Are you out of your mind, Bucky? You break him out of jail because you need him, is that it? Do you remember what he did to you, because I certainly do!”
Bucky frowns and lets out a deep and heavy sigh. He looks over at Sam. “Did you fill her in at all?”
“No!” you shouted. “I can speak for myself, James! Someone better start talking and tell me what the hell is going on!”
“We don’t really have time for this right now,” Zemo interrupts, “we really must be going. I’m sure Sam and James can fill you in in the car.”
You glare at the Sokovian terrorist and snap at him. “Shut your mouth, Zemo.”
He raises his hands up in surrender and takes a step back. Bucky towers over you and this time you let him take your hand. He squeezes it gently and pulls you into his chest, hugging you tightly. You’re tense and fuming as he holds you. 
His mouth finds the shell of your ear and despite the wave of anger flowing through your body, it sends a shiver down your spine. Bucky whispers, “I hate to say it, but Zemo’s right. We have to go. I’ll explain on the way, I promise.”
You huff childishly and turn your head away from him as he kisses your temple. “Fine. If he steps out of line, I’ll kill him.”
Bucky laughs and takes your hand and walks you to the car. “Get in line, honey. Sam and I have first dibs.”
You resist the urge to smile and Bucky opens the door for you as Sam tosses your bag in the trunk and climbs into the front seat. Bucky slides in beside you and he tells you everything.
He tells you about their first encounter with the Flag Smashers. He tells you about how the leader and a few of her followers have taken a newer version of the serum that runs through his veins. He tells you that she plans on giving the serum to more people to build an army and that you have to stop her. 
It makes your heart stop. You hadn’t really been keeping tabs on the Flag Smashers. Now, looking back, you probably should have. There’s still a lot of unknown variables to account for and it looks like the boys are taking it one step at a time, and apparently it starts with a trip to Madripoor. Zemo chimes in every now and then as he drives and it makes your blood boil that you’re forced to listen to what he has to say. You hate that he has the upper hand and is keeping valuable information hostage. You want to strangle him. 
After a while, Zemo pulls into a private airport. Bucky helps you out of the car and grabs your bag from the trunk as the four of you walk towards the jet just off the runway. You had no idea just how rich Zemo was. Now that he’s out of prison, for now at least, his arrogance returned back in full force in addition to his pompous attitude. 
You board the plane in silence, ignoring every word coming out of the Baron’s mouth. You settle in the back of the plane and ignore Bucky’s stares as you look out the window. You’re too angry to engage in conversation. You don’t care that Zemo insults Steve’s legacy. He’s gone, dead, what do you care? Yes, you wanted Steve to be happy, but he abandoned you. He abandoned Sam and Bucky. 
Zemo rambles on and on. “People like Steve become symbols, icons. Then we start to forget about their flaws. From there, cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought,” he turns to address Bucky directly. “You remember that, right? As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull?”
Silence fills the space and for a moment, you feel a reprieve. That was until Zemo mentioned the Winter Soldier. 
 “We can’t go into Madripoor as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.”
You immediately stand up and protest, storming to the front of the plane. “No. Absolutely not. I won’t let you use Bucky, not again. There has to be another way.”
Zemo clicks his tongue at you and shakes his head. A smug graces his features and you lung at him, wrapping your hands around his throat. “I’ll fucking kill you!”
Bucky leaps to his feet and tears you off of Zemo, dragging you to the back of the plane behind the curtains to give the two of you an illusion of privacy. Your shoulders shake with rage and Bucky’s hands caress your face. 
“You can’t be him. He’s not you anymore. You don’t have to do this, Bucky. Please,” you begged, clinging to his hands. “I can’t let Zemo control you again.”
Bucky’s touched with how protective you are over him. He pulls you closer and hugs you tightly against him. Your fingers grip the back of his shirt and he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head. 
“Honey,” he whispered. “I have to. I have to do this so we can stop the Flag Smashers from getting the serum. It’s for the mission.”
You huffed against his chest. Now you’re really regretting your decision to help Sam. You would’ve said no if you had known that it meant watching Bucky turn into the Winter Soldier again, even if it wasn’t real. 
You don’t know what to say. He won’t change his mind. Bucky’s just as stubborn as you are and he’ll do anything for the success of the mission, just like Steve did. 
You pull away and return back to your seat, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare into the back of Zemo’s plush leather seat. Bucky trails behind you and squeezes your shoulder. You shrug off his touch as he takes the empty seat next to yours. 
“And, I’m afraid that where we’re going doesn’t take too kindly to women who are…. how do I put this…. strong willed,” Zemo said. 
“What is that supposed to mean?” Bucky barked, jumping to your defense just moments after you did the same for him.
“Selby will see Y/n as competition. We can’t have that happen. She’ll have to stay behind.”
“You’re out of your mind if you think I’m just going to just sit here and do nothing,” you snapped. “I’m coming with. I don’t care if I have to pretend to be meek.”
Zemo turns to look at you. He’s challenging you. You both know it. He’s pushing your buttons and it’s working. He smirks and leans against the armchair. His eyebrows raise and he asks, “Even if it means pretending to be a prostitute?”
Your gaze doesn’t falter and you ignore both Sam’s and Bucky’s protests. It falls on deaf ears. You don’t care, as long as you’re with Sam and Bucky and they’re safe. “Yes,” you answered without a second thought. You’ve done worse things than pretend to be a sex worker. It would be a piece of cake. 
Zemo grins, letting out a soft laugh. “It looks like you’ll be joining us after all then, Y/n.”
You scoff at him and look out the window. Bucky drags you from your seat once more and pulls you behind the curtain. You look away from him and he reaches to squeeze your hand. 
“You don’t have to do this. You have nothing to prove,” he whispered, brushing the top of your palm with his warm and calloused fingers. 
“You don’t either,” you mumbled back. 
He smiles softly at your retort and pulls you into his arms. He holds you gently and cards his fingers through your hair. You hum quietly as he holds you. 
“Touché, honey.”
There’s a beat of silence between the two of you before you lean back to meet his gaze. His blue eyes pierce through yours and it makes your heart race. You pull away and rub your palms against your thighs. 
You disappear behind the curtain once more, leaving Bucky behind. 
When you arrive in Madripoor, you’re dressed in an outfit that leaves little to the imagination. The dress has a plunging neckline that settles just below your naval. Your chest is barely covered and your boobs threaten to slip over the fabric. You’re dressed for the part, that’s for sure. 
Zemo is the first one to look at you when you return from behind the curtain. He whistles at you and it makes your skin crawl. 
Bucky shoves Zemo harshly and grips his chest tightly, snarling in his face. “Watch your mouth,” Bucky hissed, shoving him into one of the chairs. 
He turns to look at you and you reach to squeeze his hand. You pull him away from Zemo and whisper softly, “It’s alright, Buck. Take a deep breath.”
He grits his teeth and shakes his head, and does what you ask. “I’ll kill him. If he does that again, I’ll kill him.”
You laugh softly and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “I don’t doubt you will, Buck.”
The two of you trail behind Sam and Zemo as you leave the plane. A sleek black car is waiting just off the runway and you follow behind to the vehicle. When you settle into your spot in between Buck and Sam in the back, Zemo turns to look at the three of you. 
“It’s imperative that we don’t break character, no matter what. If you do, we’re good as dead, understand?” 
You scoff and roll your eyes as he looks towards you. “Crystal,” you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest. 
He turns to face the front of the vehicle and silence fills the car. 
Suddenly, a number of motorcycles surround the car as you drive into Low Town. you make sure to keep your eyes forward and Bucky reaches for the hand on your knee. He squeezes it tightly and you do the same. 
Reality is now just setting in for you. This is the first mission that you’ve been on since Steve went back to the 40s, and since Tony died. It had been three long months since Tony saved the world and brought everyone back that was taken five years earlier. You know that three months isn’t long, but it still makes you nervous. You haven’t been training to keep things from going rusty. You had no desire to. 
Bucky leans into you, his mouth near the shell of your ear. “You okay?” 
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Yeah, just a bit nervous. I’m a little out of practice. This is my first mission since Steve left,” you mumbled back, squeezing his hand again to keep you grounded. He does the same in return. 
“It’s alright. I have your back. I’ll protect you, promise.”
A small smile finds its way onto your face and you shake your head at him. “You know better than anyone else than to promise something like that before a mission, Buck. It’s bad luck,” you teased. 
He laughs too and the car stops in what you guess is the downtown area of Low Town. You take a deep breath and Bucky does the same. You squeeze his hand one last time before his hand falls from your grasp. He opens the door and climbs out. You follow close behind and find your spot next to Sam. He gingerly wraps his arm around your waist as you walk into the Princess Bar. 
Electronic music blasts through the speakers and the bass vibrates through your chest. You press against Sam as you push through people to get to the bar. The smell of drugs and alcohol is suffocating as you walk and ignore the stares sent your way. They’re not staring at you, but Bucky, who walks just a step behind you like a looming shadow. 
“Ready to comply, Winter Soldier?” Zemo asked Bucky in Russian. 
It makes your blood boil and Sam squeezes your waist tightly, a reminder that you must not break character. You hate it. You hate that Bucky has to pretend to be the person he’s worked so hard to distance himself from. Bucky is not him. The Winter Soldier doesn’t exist anymore. That part of him is gone, dead. You only hope that Bucky reminds himself that the Winter Soldier isn’t him anymore as he pretends just feet behind you.
You stand in front of the bar counter as the bartender approaches. You keep your mouth shut as Zemo exchanges words with the man, briefly bringing Sam, the Smiling Tiger, into the conversation. Your eyes find Bucky’s and your heart jumps inside your throat. His eyes are cold and void of any emotion. He’s stoic and brooding. He’s fallen into character perfectly and it scares you to think that all the progress he’s made over the years has been destroyed in this moment. For his sake, you hope not.
You tear your eyes away from Bucky at the feeling of Sam’s hand on the curve of your ass. You watch him carefully as he takes a shot. The bartender moves on and you let out a careful breath. 
A man grasps at Zemo’s shoulder and sneers at him. He looks over at Bucky as Zemo asks to see Selby before he walks away. Another man approaches Zemo from behind and he speaks in Russian once more. “Winter Soldier, attack.” 
You hold your breath in anticipation as the unsuspecting man rests his hand on Zemo’s shoulder. You want to reach out and touch Bucky, tell him that he doesn’t have to, that the two of you still have time to make a run for it, but you don’t. You can’t. Zemo would probably try and kill you if you interfere and it’s the last thing you need. 
Bucky stalks over to him with two long strides, and rips the man’s hand from Zemo’s shoulder. He twists his wrist back and throws him to the ground. Another man swings at Bucky and he stops it with ease. He punches his back and kicks him against another crowny. As another man attempts to punch and kick at Bucky. He uses his metal arm and momentum to take each of them out.
“It doesn’t take much for him to fall back into form,” Zemo smirked, leaning over to look at you and Sam. 
“Shut your mouth,” you hissed between your teeth as you watched Bucky. 
Bucky grabs one of the men by the throat and slams him into the counter. Guns cock all around you as you look around the room. Your heart is inside your throat and there’s ringing in your ears. You reach to grab Bucky’s arm, but Sam beats you to it.
“Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us,” Zemo whispered. “Well done, soldier.”
Sam lets go of his arm and takes a step back, pulling you with him. He squeezes your hip tightly as you watch Bucky’s grip fall from the man’s throat.
“Selby will see you now,” the bartender said.
Zemo moves to follow him and you resist the urge to reach out and touch Bucky. Sam pulls you along and you walk in silence down a number of hallways. The music fades into the background and you’re squeezing Sam’s hand like your life depends on it. 
A number of men on Selby’s security detail whistle as you walk by. You bite your tongue and resist the urge to snap their necks. The four of you wait at the door at the end of the hall for several seconds before it opens. You walk inside and Zemo takes you from Sam’s side. Your jaw ticks as he guides you to the empty sofa. His hand settles on your thigh and you tense under his touch.
Zemo and Selby negotiate for information. All you need to know is who created the serum and where they are. That’s it. Zemo needs to stick to the plan. 
Zemo stands up from his spot next to you. “Tell us what you know about the super soldier serum, and I give you him…. along with the code words to control him,” Zemo stands behind Bucky, his hand resting on his shoulder. He’s silent and obedient, the perfect encapsulation of who he had been for the last 80 years. 
There wasn’t a discussion over what the offer would be when you were on the plane from Latvia. You just assumed Zemo would figure a way out of it, he was clever enough to do it before. You hadn’t thought that he would actually use the Winter Soldier to his benefit outside of protection. How naive of you. 
Bucky’s eyes are dark and he stares straight ahead as Zemo caresses his chin. He doesn’t flinch or react. He’s playing the Winter Soldier perfectly and you hate every second. You bite the inside of your cheek so hard that you start to taste blood. 
“He will do anything you want.”
Selby grins, leaning back in her spot on the couch opposite of you. She tells him what you need to know. She nears Sam and then the worst happens, his phone begins to ring. 
She tells him to answer it and your fingers squeeze into the leather couch. Your heart races and for the first time since you walked into the bar, Bucky’s eyes find yours. You know he can see your panic. 
Things are fine momentarily. Sam’s trying his best to stay in character and you know it’s not working as well as he’d like. You hold your breath and your panic settles in at the mention of Sam’s name coming from Sarah. 
“Kill them—” 
Your eyes widen in horror as a bullet pierces through the glass window in front of you and lodges into Selby’s throat, killing her instantly. The act is over. 
You leap to your feet and pull the tactical knife that you hid in your dress out from underneath you. You slice the knife across your attacker’s arm. Bucky kicks him into the wall and grabs you by the arm. 
You run as fast as you can out the bar and through the streets of Madripoor. You dodge bullets and fight off others that attack you with knives. 
You do well, all things considered with what you’re dressed in. You dig your heel into the boot of your attacker, throwing them off balance. You kick their leg out from underneath them and Sam knocks them unconscious. 
Bucky, of course, is doing just fine on his own. You run over to help. You disarm the man closer to you and use the butt of the gun to knock him out. 
You barely have time to register the man creeping up behind Bucky. His arm is outstretched with a gun in his hand. Bucky has no clue. 
“Bucky!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, running as fast as you can towards him. 
He turns to look at you as you use your whole body to shove him aside as the gun goes off. 
Time stands still. 
You fall to the ground in a daze as the bullet rips through your shoulder. Your eyes stare up into the night sky as it takes you a moment to realize that you’d just been shot. 
You try to sit up and get back on your feet. You don’t have time to worry about your wound. You need to get the hell out of Low Town. 
Bucky nearly drags you off the ground and you run. You run as fast as you can despite the bullet in your shoulder. 
“We need to get out of here!” Bucky shouted, inspecting your wound. 
A shadowy figure approaches and Bucky blocks you from view. The hood drops and you peer over Bucky’s shoulder. You don’t have time to be surprised that Sharon is the one standing in front of you. 
“Sharon? What are you doing here?” Sam asked. 
“We don’t have time for that!” Bucky snapped. “Sharon, please. You gotta help us. Y/n’s been shot.”
She nods and motions for you to follow her. She stops in front of a beautiful blue car and Bucky guides you into the car, pressing his metal hand against your shoulder to stop the bleeding. You ignore Sam and Bucky’s bickering as they yell at you for getting shot. You don’t have the energy to respond. 
Sharon races across town and pulls up to a very fancy building. Sharon jumps out and opens the door for Bucky. His arm holds your torso and your uninjured arm is thrown over his shoulder as you walk inside. You gather into the elevator as it takes you to the top floor. 
Your entire body goes numb and Bucky guides you to the kitchen counter. Sharon briefly disappears before returning with a heavy duty first aid kit. 
“Do you have tequila?” you asked her as Bucky rummaged through the bag for the correct supplies. Sharon laughs softly before grabbing a bottle of tequila from her liquor cabinet. You take a generous sip and the liquid burns your throat. 
Bucky inspects the bullet wound carefully. Thankfully it was a through and through. He doesn’t have to fish the bullet out. He works quickly and you grit your teeth as he stitches the wound close on both sides of your shoulder. 
The pain lessened to a dull throb now that he’s finished. He cleans the excess blood off your skin before gently placing your arm in a sling. 
“Why did you do that, Y/n?” Bucky chastised you, shaking his head in disappointment. “I could’ve taken care of him.”
You scoff and roll your eyes at him. “I don’t even get a thank you for saving your ass? You were vulnerable, I did the right thing.”
He sighs and you look away. Your eyes find Sharon’s. “Can I borrow some clothes?”
She nods and disappears down the hall to her bedroom. Silence fills the room and Sam takes his turn to reprimand you. You ignore him entirely and take another large swig of tequila. 
Sharon returns moments later with a pair of clean clothes. You thank her quietly and she points you in the direction of one of the guest bedrooms. You hop off the counter and ignore Bucky’s protests and calls of your name. 
You huffed in frustration as you limped towards one of Sharon’s guest bedrooms. You had enough of Sam and Bucky yelling at you for your recklessness, especially Bucky. You’re exhausted and all you want to do is sleep. 
You did what you thought was right. You did what Steve would’ve done. You had Bucky’s back. Isn’t that what mattered? Sure, you got shot in the shoulder, but it isn’t something you haven’t done before. You have the scars to prove it. 
“Stop running away from me! We’re not done talking about this!” Bucky yelled after you, hot on your heels into the bedroom. “What were you thinking?”
You’re sick of Bucky questioning you. You’re not a child and you’re not the bright eyed recruit he thinks you still are. You did what was right in the heat of the moment. You don’t regret it. You’d do it all over again if it meant that he was safe. 
“Stop treating me like a child, James! I’m not Steve’s recruit anymore! I’m a grown woman,” you shouted back at him. Your shoulders shake and you glare at him. “I know you still think I’m that naive 25 year old, but that’s not me anymore. The last five years may have been five seconds to you, but they weren’t to me. Accept the fact that I did what I thought was right.”
“It was reckless!”
“Steve would’ve done it!” you bit back. 
“This isn’t about Steve!” he argued. 
You laugh bitterly and shake your head. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t see what you see. You know he sees you as his responsibility now that Steve’s gone. He feels an obligation to look after you because Steve did. You have a part of Steve with you. Bucky’s clinging to any last remains of Steve, and that includes you. 
“Isn’t it though? You feel like you have a responsibility to protect me, to look after me. Why? It’s because Steve did and now that he’s gone, you feel like you have to replace him!”
The silence that fills the room suffocates you. Your heart races with anger. You want Bucky to leave you alone. You didn’t ask for this. Sam needed your help, and when you provided it, you got yelled at for it. Now you just want to go home. 
You turn your back to Bucky and pull the pants that Sharon gave you up your legs before discarding the dress in the corner of the room. You don’t care if Bucky sees all the scars that litter your backside. Maybe then he would understand that you’ve always done what’s best for the mission, even if that meant getting hurt. You throw the sweatshirt over your head and turn to look at Bucky again. 
“Do you have anything else to say to me? Are you going to try and deny it?”
Bucky sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You’re one of the only people I have left that have a connection to Steve.”
Another bitter laugh escapes your mouth. He doesn’t understand. “He abandoned me, James! He abandoned us. Steve’s gone. You can’t hold on to him anymore. You don’t have to do anything Steve did. You have nothing to prove to me, I promise. I don’t need you to replace Steve. I need you, Buck. You’re the one that’s here with me, not Steve.”
Tears threaten to spill over your cheeks and you look away from him. The silence is deafening and Bucky moves to take you in his arms. He holds you against his chest and cards his fingers through your hair. You cry against his chest and cling to his henley. He gently guides you to the bed and sits down with you in his lap.
“I’m sorry, honey,” he whispered, rubbing your back. “You’re right. It just scared me. I don’t think I can handle losing you too. I’m sorry.”
You pull away to look at him with your tear stained cheeks and he carefully wipes away your tears with the pad of his thumb. You blink away the remaining tears and lean into his touch. “It’s okay, Buck. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” 
You rest your forehead against his and breathe him in. His metal hand rubs circles against your back and it sends shivers down your spine. He holds you carefully and no words are exchanged. Your eyes flicker to his lips and your heart thunders against your chest. 
There’s a soft knock at the door and you pull your body off of Bucky’s. You sit beside him as Sam pokes his head inside the room. “Is everything okay?” he asked, looking between the two of you. 
You look over at Bucky and then back to Sam. You smile and nod slowly. “Everything’s perfect, Sam.”
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semischarmed · 3 years
Text
Temptation
-Wednesday- 
I love him so much. God I love him. And he’ll never know. Maybe it was a curse from a past life or something. To live like this, tantalizingly close to him but unable to act. I knew he didn’t see me that way, but that didn’t help any in my situation. 
Take today for instance, he just came back from the gym today soaked in the lingering smell of sweat. It was probably residual perspiration on the clothes he was carrying back or some other thing in his bag. Still. The smell. Goddamn. I could have died and gone to heaven on the spot. I tried to sneak a whiff of Connor, but all I could pick up was whatever soap and cologne he used. It was earthy, woodsy. Like cut cedar and fresh rain. It’s the Connor I always smelled, since he did always keep himself quite clean, and it’s a wonderful scent in its own right, forming the basis of my idea of Connor and the scent I associated with him. But damn. This paled in comparison to the hints of musk and workout sweat I could glean from his clothing. He reeked of pure man and it’s such a shame he covered that up. God I hope he doesn’t do laundry anytime soon.
He must have picked up on something, cause not a moment later I got a “Oh dude! I’m so sorry, this stuff probably reeks haha. I’ll get it washed up so it doesn’t stink up the place” he laughed politely. Fuck.
“Sure, you do you” I stated back, mentally cursing at his propensity for cleanliness.
You’d think the ROTC guys wouldn’t give two fucks about their smell but I guess Connor was an exception. Then again I don’t really know what they did, so maybe it was normal for them. In any case, he definitely did laundry tonight, and I definitely lost out on a good jack off.
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-Friday-
So, weird thing happened last night. Connor looked tired as fuck, but he went out. The man must have been running on sheer willpower alone cause he had some kind of training day earlier today too. He collapsed in his room at like 8. Yet there he was an hour later- eyes bloodshot, hair tousled. Maybe he wanted to let loose or something? Still pretty weird. I mean, the guy was practically a saint. It’s odd enough that he went out for drinks, but even odder that he went out dressed like he did. Still I could definitely get used to a more experimental Connor. 
He was also a little looser when he came back. Gave me a pat on the shoulder and a wink. Something about “keeping the room safe” or something. I couldn’t concentrate enough to tell what he was actually rambling about. His breath was drenched in alcohol. I feel like I almost got drunk off the fumes alone when he spoke. No surprise when he had no recollection of any of it after he woke up from his nap. 
Total guilty pleasure, but the messy look was kind of hot on him. Never seen my friend so disheveled like this, he was always so prim and proper. It’s kind of nice to see him knocked down a few pegs. 
-Tuesday-
Connor let out a cute yawn before scratching his pits. He gave his scratching hand a quick sniff before settling into a satisfied smile. My dick jumped a little. I feigned ignorance when he regarded me, asking me if I saw that. “I… uh…no. Definitely not.” 
“Sure dude.” Now fully aware of my stare, Connor continued scratching at himself. “You’re seeing this now though, right?” He ran a hand over his stomach, gently feeling through his defined abs. I kept replaying the event in my head, drooling the delight I just witnessed and at a little daydream of me coming up to to feel this new side of Connor with him. In my daze, I barely noticed my roommate inching closer.
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Plus, did he seem… bigger? Though I can’t say I’ve ever seen the guy without a shirt on so I guess I just never noticed. Regardless, this version of Connor was fucking hot. Looks like he’s got a tat too. Hot. 
“Baby if you’re gonna keep looking, you might as well have a taste.” He laughed warmly. I couldn’t believe what I just heard. In my stunned state, I couldn’t do anything beyond stare at him in disbelief as a vascular hand that seemed larger than it should be guided mine around his perky ass. God what a nice ass. I still recoiled out of the sheer absurdity in the situation. Try as I might, I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea of this Connor. It’s like he was two different people. Well, I definitely liked this version of my friend more. I’m still drooling over what just happened.
“Another time, then,” he chuckled before walking to his room. 
Weird. Connor never really shut his door other than to sleep. Guess he was tired or something. 
-Thursday-
Well shit, I totally misread all of that. Today, I thought I saw that same glint of intrigue in his eyes and decided to risk it. Conner was just sitting in his boxers eating cereal and I was just standing there, a few feet behind. I couldn’t help it. My hand instinctively reached out and the cupped the outline of his ass. Perky. It was cute and compact and plump but definitely had a bit of muscle behind it. I regretted the action immediately. 
“…The fuck dude?” He gently whispered. It was more bewilderment than anything. Fuck. He was incredulous and I couldn’t blame him. Anger raged inside him, I could tell. But neither of us knew what to do in the situation. We stood there, staring at each other for what felt like hours before I relented.
In shame I could barely stammer out a shameful “s-sorry” before I slunk back to my room, bright red. 
I fucked up.
-Monday-
Okay. Scratch everything I just said. Connor is fucking with me. He’s got to be. He strode around the apartment half naked, humming a quiet tune to himself. Sure. Fine, I guess. Whatever. But as soon as he noticed me on the couch working on an essay, he walked over and gave me a hug from behind. Oh my god that hug. Connor was a lean dude, but I swear his muscles were fucking bulging, like they were barely contained in his skin. He wrapped those thick pythons over my shoulders and chest and I just about melted on the spot. I’m pretty sure I moaned a little too. Who wouldn’t? Wrapped in his warm embrace, surrounded by this man- I was his for that moment. I tensed up on the spot. I knew he didn’t swing that way, so I don’t know what he was trying but there was no way I would fall for what I could only assume was some kind of trap. 
He spoke in a tone laced in sex. It set me off in a way I didn’t expect. This was a side of Connor I’ve never seen, a tone of Connor I’ve never heard- an experience of Connor I’ve never had. It was a Connor I never knew I needed.
“I’ve seen the way you look at this body. You’re not very subtle.” In the faintest of whispers, he leaned in until his lips were barely touching my ear. My dick was already rock hard in anticipation- I was practically bursting at the seams and I’m sure he had a great view of it. “Just say the word and ‘Connor’ is yours”. 
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With a control and a willpower I never had before, I refrained from kissing this boy- from putting myself all over him on the spot. I mentally cursed at my friend. ‘What the fuck are you playing at Connor?’ 
His hot, damp breath caressed my ear in its own embrace as I stood my ground, unmoving like stone. “Got to hand it to you, bro, you put up a really good fight. It’s okay. I love a good fight. Makes victory taste all the more sweeter.” The feel of Connor’s thick, defined fingers running through my hair and wet, slimy tongue across my cheek. He rolled his body forward, so the pulse through his abs would be felt across the back of my neck. From this spot, he was downright imposing. His guns went in for another caress- this time wrapping across my cheeks and around my chin.
“You know I love you bro… This body’s straight as an arrow. But it’s my body- I’ll go gay for you if you want”. What the fuck. Oh god I got a bit of his sweat on my cheek too. My eyes fluttered, body entrapped in a spell of my own hormones reacting to my friend’s advances.
Connor broke me. I shivered on the spot, leaned up to the man, moaned an “Oh fuck…Connor I-I need you. I-” before he cut me off. “Well bro, kind of looks like you still got some work today- you have fun with that.” He laughed coldly. He was fucking with me.
That whole exchange was really fucking weird, cause just a few hours later, it was back to pure awkward silence between us. Like a flip of a switch, the every energy he exuded around me could only be described as “uncomfortable”. I wanted to talk to him, to speak with him about earlier, to tell him I wanted him the same way. Something about those eyes read differently though. They read the same Connor I had been used to until recently. I decided to hold my tongue. Something about this situation wasn’t adding up.
Also I’m pretty sure this kid needs to see a doctor or something. I swear the guy doesn’t sleep- he’s out every night and then I see his tired ass drag himself to class every morning. Rushing a frat? Weird drugs? Could have been a host of things. 
-Tuesday-
Now 4 days since the incident last week. Thankfully he hasn’t brought it up- nor has he brought up whatever the fuck yesterday was. If it was even real. I sweat and stumble over my sentences in every conversation I make with him. I flash back to what he said to me. God, this was all too much. Every time I try to focus myself, focus on whatever he was talking to me about, I couldn’t help but think of the Connor that visited me yesterday night. 
Maybe, maybe it was just a hallucination. Maybe I dreamed it all up. I was working on an essay for hours. The whole encounter could have easily been a dream. He’s been going out every night too, so it’s not like he could have been speaking to me that coherently. Still. That didn’t make it any better. Whether or not he knew it, Connor was a demon in my life. 
I shamefully admit I totally jacked off to that little exchange from yesterday after he left. Grabbed some used Connor-scented garments off his hamper and exploded all over myself in a Connor-themed session. Nothing like the exquisite gym-soaked clothes from a week ago, but it was enough. It was still Connor. My eyes rolled up to the back of my head in pleasure as I took a breath, basking in the afterglow and the scent of forest and earth and faintest lingering musk of Connor in my nose. Connor was everything to me and, hallucination or not, I committed yesterday’s events to memory. 
-Still Tuesday-
Shitshitshit. Definitely not a dream. I caught the son of a bitch. In the dead of night, I caught him sneaking in from a dark corner of the room. Like a figure manifest from the shadows itself. He was holding some silver figurine in his hand, reciting some odd words, before he lunged at the sleeping Connor. He gave my roommate a quick sniff before scoffing. “Bro you have to stop cleaning all your nice smells away… With that the stranger pulled at the corners of Connor’s mouth. I watched as my roommate’s skin was forced to accommodate the man’s muscular calves. 
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I watched as the stranger pulled Connor every further up himself. Damn, even in the dark I could tell the man was ripped. When his head finally slotted into where Connor’s skull would be, and Connor’s face was stretched being pulled, I saw the immediate change in my friend’s demeanor. This was the guy who’s been fucking with me recently. This was why Connor looked so buff lately. I couldn’t see the man who jumped inside my best friend, but I could never wipe that smug smile he wore through Connor’s face. 
The smell that originated from inside Connor, the same smell I experienced a week ago. God I loved that scent. It permeated throughout the room. Best friend concentrate. Like a humid, musky, grime that clung to the very air and decorated my nostrils. I never wanted his scent out of me again. I felt like I was inhaling Connor himself, regarding a newly discovered private part of my friend.
My stomach churned in a mix of anticipation and horror. Sweat beaded at my temples. Gotta admit, this was kind of hot. I had to figure out what I was gonna do about this. Self-preservation kicked in and I fled to my room, taking special attention to ensure I did not alert the man inside Connor. Not like he’d notice anyways- dude was feeling himself up almost immediately after he slipped inside. 
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-Wednesday-
It’s like clockwork at this point. The “other” Connor came back early in the morning from a wild night out, before passing out on our couch as I was finally able to speak with my friend. Impossibly tired eyes looked back at me. He gave a weak grimace. “Must have passed out again….Uh.. can I help you man?” My heart sank. Could I really tell him this? My poor roommate. “No, uh.. do you want any breakfast?”.
I could tell he had meant to say yes. He motioned as much, before staring at my face and turning away. Fuck. He was definitely still put off by last week’s advance. I honestly don’t blame him. “N-no. I got it. Thanks.” 
I grimaced awkwardly before shrugging and walking to fix myself some breakfast. This would complicate things. And I couldn’t do that to Connor. I needed to find a way to fix this without him knowing. Evidently, his body being used and worn out like an evening jacket was taking its toll on him. Despite whatever we were going through, he was still my friend. And I couldn’t in good faith add more to that burden. 
“Hey, one of the guys from the gym’s coming over for dinner, that cool?” 
“Yeah man, I’ll just order some extra pizza,” I said back, sighing internally in relief at some semblance of normalcy.
-Still Wednesday -
I met Connor’s gym friend. To be honest, already forgot his name. He gave me a wink when he shook my hand and I couldn’t stop staring all dinner. I think even Connor picked up on it. He looked almost jealous with all the attention I usually gave him being directed at the stranger. The stranger asked to use the bathroom, and I wanted to let him know how to get to it, but he seemed to already know the path.
“Hey bro, is it cool if I stay the night?“ I nodded automatically, lost in deep thought.
There’s something peculiar about the Connor’s gym friend. And I didn’t notice it until I was already in bed. Then hit me like a brick. 
That fucking smirk. 
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-End-
If anyone knows who this guy is, please let me know… for.. uh.. research purposes.
467 notes · View notes
taco-bell-mitchy · 3 years
Text
I Don’t Like You
Rindou x F!Reader
-Someone likes you, but they’d jump out a window before they admit it. Literally.
Warnings: cussing, annoying Ran, minor violence (?)
School confessions were always so awkward. Especially when greeted with rejection. So Rindou Haitani was writing his, he cringed. He simply couldn’t keep these feelings in any longer. He also didn’t know how to express his feelings very well. So what was he supposed to do? Just tell you he likes you? It’s not like you would even believe it. Which he doesn’t blame you for. As Rin seems to have a resting bitch face.
Anything he tells you, you either take it the wrong way because of his face, or he says it wrong because of his well…face. His tone can be quite monotone as well which doesn’t help. So when you change you hair style one day and he stares at you, you automatically never do it again as you think he’s disgusted at it. Or when he ask, “Is that a new shirt?” With a plain face and bored eyes you assume he also doesn’t think it’s very cute. So even if he did try to confess in person, you’d probably think he’s playing a sick joke.
Crumpling up another letter he became infuriated. He just can’t seem to get his feelings right. His cheeks are burning red as he’s writing all of them. Ran see his brothers irritability but leaves him alone for a while, until he can’t get over the annoyed yelling.
“Okay what’s wrong?” Ran asked leaning on the door frame, “Nothing.” Rindou’s irritability was visible even more in his voice. Ran looked around the room at crumpled papers and smirked while picking one up.
“Dear y/n, I know I’m not the best at expressing myself but I’m truly in love with you-”
“STOP IN RAN!!!” Rindou screamed at brother like a toddler asking for a cookie. Rindou’s face had furrowed brows but his scarlet cheeks told another story. “My little brother is writing a love letter~” Rindou looked away, “Shut up, I’m trying my best.” Ran sighed with a smile while crouching down next to his brother. “Your big brother is to the rescue. We’ll write the best love letter ever.” Rindou shook him away, “I don’t need your help Ran. Besides I’m not gonna even wrote it anymore I’m done.” Ran shrugged while walking out his room, “Well, a bit of advice still, just write what you want her to know, how you actually feel. Goodnight~”
The next morning Rindou shoved his school supplies and folders into his bag once more and ran to school. He was sleep deprived from all the writing he had done. Only in the end deciding not to even give it to her. He got to school eventually and eased into the day.
Today I got to school early. Unlike most days. I walked into the classroom sitting in my assigned seat. Looking beside me towards the window where Rindou Haitani usually sat earlier than me. I was a bit relieved he wasn’t here today. Though, yes he was easy on eyes, every single day and second he seemed to want to murder me.
He would ask if my clothing was new with such a bored face as if he were judging me for my choice. Or I would change my hair style for a hair and I’d watch him stare into my heart and soul the whole day. Sometimes when I’m laughing with friends, later in the day they’d tell he was glaring daggers at them too. It always seemed like no matter what I did it didn’t impress him. It didn’t bother me at first but now I just wonder why he hates me.
That’s when he walked in. Messy hair and wide eyes. It’s the most expression I’ve ever seen him have. I looked down to hide my face. I admit, my feelings towards him were…complicated. The reason I wondered he hated me was because I felt anything but hate towards him. When he wasn’t looking at me, he seemed so peaceful. On my way home I’d see him laughing with his brother and being a normal guy. Though he was a delinquent he still was charming. Yet he hates me.
I was pulled out of my thinking at a second loud voice. Ran Haitani. Huh? He wasn’t in this class. The first Haitani brother, well I see him as second, was never here. So it’s odd for him to be loudly yelling to his younger brother. “Aye Rindou!! I think you accidentally packed something of mine. Can I check?” Rindou looked over to him and sighed, “Whatever.” Ran’s smile seemed to lighten.
He rummaged through Rin’s backpack. Finally pulling out a sheet of paper. It seemed to be folded and messy. Ran yelled a quiet ‘yah’ and unfolded it. He looked over at me and since I was already staring at him we made eye contact. “Y/n! This is for you!” Rindou looked up at what he was holding and as I went to reach it Rindou grabbed it.
“Stop it! Don’t fucking touch things that aren’t yours.” I pulled my hand back at his harsh tone. Ran frowned, “Stop being a pussy Rin, just give it up-” Rin held the paper tighter. “It’s none of your business Ran leave me alone. And you,” he pointed towards me, “Dont listen to him he’s an annoying fuck who doesn’t know anything.” I felt awkward especially with the disgust in his eyes. At least it always felt like disgust when he stared at me. Ran grabbed the paper again but Rin struggled leaving Ran pushing Rindou against the open window.
Ran stared Rindou hard in the eyes, “I won’t let go of this.”
“I know”
“I wish push you out this window if you really want it to not be seen.”
Rindou felt his heart race is frustration, “Do it. I won’t change my mind.” And not to Rindou’s surprise. He actually did. The few students rushed to window, we were only on the second story, but it was still sure to hurt. I, too, rushed to the window. And I saw Rindou’s face as he stared up at us while laying in the bushes. I laughed as he mouthed a ‘fuck you’ to his brother. Who simply laughed and flipped him off.
I hurried down to him, even if he rejected me now, or looked at me with disgusted eyes, or if cussed me out. I’d go to him this time with no regrets. So as I rushed down to my luck I still see him there. Now he’s sitting upright brushing leaves off him with a pained expression. I walk over to him crouching down. He looked up at me with the same cold eyes. I smiled at him offering a hand.
“Hey. You okay?” He stood up gripping my hand softly, “Yeah sorry about earlier, Ran can be a lot.” I nodded it became silent between us I stared down. We still held hands. He was about to let go but I pulled harder, “Wait! I have to tell you something.” His eyes peeked in interest. “Yes?” I let go of his hand and held my own. Breathing in I finally said, “I know you aren’t quite fond of me but I hope you at least get to know me better because I like you. I think if you get to know me better it’ll be easier to like me right? I mean I understand if you like someone else or even if you’re dating someone then sorry! But I can’t keep this in forever-” I stopped talking at his bubbly laughter
“You sure do talk a lot, yeah?” I laughed a little too at that. I stopped when I felt him reach to intertwine our fingers. “Yeah, I guess you’re okay or whatever.” I looked up at him and smiled, “Thats cool or whatever.” I say mocking him. He smiled wider and looked towards the school door. “I guess we should be getting to class right now, come on let’s go.” I followed with our hands still intertwined. The paper in his other hand.
“What is that by the way?” Rindou’s face went red, “haha nothing…” I nodded and put aside my curiosity. He looked down at me and we made eye contact, “Let’s go when thing straight though, I definitely don’t like you.” I rolled my eyes, “Yeah okay Rindou, you definitely don’t like me.”
But you both knew. He definitely did like you.
Bonus:
“Y/n did he give you the letter!” Ran yelled excitingly towards me. I stared at him in confusion. “What?”
“I saw you two walking while holding hands so he gave the letter right?” I shook my head, “No, I was the one that confessed. I didn’t even know he had a letter.” Ran smirked with mischief. “I thought that might happen so i saved an old copy.” He gave me a wink and handed me the letter.
I read the letter which read,
“Dear Y/n,
I’ve liked you for a while now. No, loved you. I hope that doesn’t sound to bold but it’s the truth. I wish you could see the way I stare at you with so much love, but apparently most people don’t see it as love but more of disgust or ill intent. Still, it is love. I’ve always been afraid to admit it to you because I don’t want you to reject me. Now I hope you can really tell my true feelings. I want to hold your hands and kiss your face and have you in many vulnerable ways. Is this to straightforward? Ah I don’t know, it’s hard to write this and as I am I’m very confused. I hope one day you’ll just be able to see how much I love you. With my touch and stares. So please accept my confession.
Sincerely,
Rindou Haitani”
I smiled with my eyes a bit watery at how cheesy it was. “Wow Ran. We gotta make fun of him for this forever yeah?” Ran laughed loud. “oh I definitely like you!”
I think we’ll all get along fine. Oh and I was definitely gonna tease Rin.
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franniebanana · 3 years
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CQL Rewatch - Ep 31
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You know it, Wen Ning. Haha, but in all seriousness, I don't think Wei Wuxian is even thinking about Lan Wangji right now. He's too happy to be seeing his shijie and her new baby.
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Biggest dick move ever. I hate that he does this. Jin Zixuan doesn't know a thing about it, and just wants to make his wife happy and also make amends with Wei Wuxian, I think. He's ready to let bygones be bygones, and here you have Jin Zixun with his misplaced anger ruining everything.
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"I don't even remember who you are. Why should I bother to cast an evil spell on you?" Such a sick burn. Also Wei Wuxian looks really handsome here. I just love how Wei Wuxian won't take any shit from Jin Zixun ever, and that he is always pointing out that he doesn't even remember him. And I don't think it's arrogance on his part, it's just that Jin Zixun is a massive dick and Wei Wuxian really doesn't have time for him. He's not important, yet he tries to make himself seem important. He's not in line to be the Jin clan leader, which I'm sure he's more than well aware, so he tries to make himself look big and impress everyone and generally act more important than he is. Good on Wei Wuxian for not giving into that ego.
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I really can't get over how Wei Wuxian has hardly anything to defend himself, other than the odd talisman. He has no sword. He uses his flute primarily to defend himself. Fighting with Jin Zixun here, it's not like he's summoning puppets to help in the fight. Wen Ning fights for him out of a desire to protect him--he isn't being controlled. I'm not saying that Wei Wuxian wouldn't kill Jin Zixun if he had the chance, but at this point, he can't do much but defend himself from the onslaught of attacks. And, of course, Jin Zixun shot first.
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He looks so pissed. I mean, he knows Jin Zixun is causing trouble. He was against this in the first place, and look, here he is, fighting with Wei Wuxian. My heart breaks for Jin Zixuan because he really was a good guy. He would have made a good leader, because, all grown up, he is very fair and tries to do the right thing. Even here when his cousin is clearly in the wrong, he allows him to say his piece.
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Ahh, this is hard to watch, it's also hard to comment on. Wei Wuxian is just so, so shocked at upset at what has happened. He blames Wen Ning first, but of course it's not Wen Ning's fault at all. Wei Wuxian should have never tried to control him, because ultimately, he couldn't control him, just like Lan Wangji feared. He couldn't control that power and it really does ruin his life.
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All he can do is stare at Jin Zixuan's body in horror, because he couldn't have imagined it going so wrong. I think he expected he might have to fight, which is why he brought Wen Ning along as an escort, but the reality was so much worse than what he had imagined. His shijie's husband is dead, he won't be able to see the baby, he won't be able to see her--ever again. The ramifications of this he hasn't even begun to imagine, but this is surely the end. God, it's just so sad.
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Noooo, I hate it! It's too sad! I really did like Jin Zixuan a lot, and I know it's coming, but every time it comes, it hurts! Poor Jiang Yanli!!
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And it's only now that this horrible thing has happened that Wei Wuxian is questioning all his choices up until this point. What is he doing here? Why did he save the Wens and stay with them in the Burial Mounds? "Am I crazy?" he thinks. Only now that such a terrible thing has happened does he really reflect on what his life would have been like if he'd made those more selfish choices. Yes, selfish, but also comfortable--and those choices would have allowed him to see his shijie's wedding, to see his nephew--and Jin Zixuan wouldn't be dead.
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I know you can't see me, but I'm crying right now. So much heartbreak in just a few minutes, and it continues through the next few episodes. It's just so damn hard to watch. This is one of my favorite scenes, where Wen Qing just tells it to Wei Wuxian straight: there is no logic in power and revenge. They won't take Wei Wuxian and not come for the Wens. They want the Wens dead, every last one of them. It is the blood feud that the Jins spoke of in an earlier episode (or probably several). The only reason they have survived this long was because people like Jin Zixuan were there and because Wei Wuxian was on his best behavior, not making waves. Now that's all over. Jin Zixuan is dead--nothing can be as it was before.
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She's so strong here, so radiant. I love how she forces those smiles, puts on that brave face. She's ever the leader, ever the big sister. It's just beautiful. It's such a shame to lose her. And even though I know what happens with A-Yuan, I just cry every time I see him or Granny Wen. He's so little, and they had to leave him alone. And he was alone for a long time before Lan Wangji found him, too.
Short one! Sad episode, not much to say. :'(
Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | Or just check out the #CQL Rewatch hashtag
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razorblade180 · 3 years
Text
Interdimensional Moms: part 1
Intro <-
Yang:So how we doin this? Drawing straws or... well we actually don’t have straws here so-
Weiss:It’s obvious that you wanna go first.
Blake:Extremely obvious.
Ruby:All over your face.
Yang:Hey now, don’t call me out like that! We all have so much to sort out here. I don’t even know where to begin. Differences could start and stop anywhere for all we really know.
Blake:From what it seems, Beacon itself would have one or two minor changes, but the real changes start after the fall. At least, for you three that is.
Weiss:You saying you’re different?
Blake:Unless you three started going on dates with Jaune at Beacon, then yes, I’m different.
RWY:(They’ve been together that long!?)
Yang:Okay, starting from Beacon...nothing really stands out too much. Jaune and I were just friends. *cringes* Back then, a certain faunus caught my eye.
Blake:Ah...right. I guess that tracks in practically every universe.
RW:Oh yeah it does. You two are joined at the hip.
Yang:Haha, really? Glad to hear it. My Blake and I are best buds! Remnant has never seen such a dynamic duo! Can’t say it didn’t take a lot of time effort after a rough patch. We actually dated in my world.
Blake:Same.
Yang:What!? How long?
Blake:I don’t know, it was pretty on again off again.
Yang:Well for me it was after Haven. Both of us had gotten pretty serious. All the growing we’ve done together and apart had brought us closer. However, Adam unintentionally put a wedge between us. His attempt to change and the problems that came with it were-
Yang stopped midway and saw the confused faces of her otherworldly teammates. They were shocked, confused even. Especially Blake, who looked the most shocked of all.
Yang:Umm did I say something odd?
Blake:Adam, he...isn’t dead?
Yang:Oh, well I guess that’s the start of the major changes then. Blake and I fought Adam at Argus. Stabbed him through the chest and watched him fall down rocks into a river.
Ruby:That lines you with my world. Dude died that day. Like any normal person should.
Yang:Well Adam is anything but fucking normal. Man has the craziest luck. A young women, the winter maiden in fact, she saved his life. She’s not exactly normal either. The maiden, Jacquelyn, ended up sticking by him to see if she could change his ways. This naturally meant we’d run into them again. And that’s how things fell apart.
Blake:What do you mean?
Yang:You were fully committed to seeing if Adam could actually change. I wasn’t, so we constantly butted heads in any situation involving him. Then we would fight about things that had nothing to do with at all. Eventually, we broke it off. We remained on decent terms but I was pretty heartbroken about the disconnect. Enter our lovable blonde idiot. Jaune did everything in his power to cheer me up.
Weiss:Sounds like him. Always such a bleeding heart. That boy just can’t help himself. Let me guess, his kindness and concern made you feel all warm and fuzzy?
Yang:Hehe, guilty. It was more of his willingness to laugh at my puns. Jaune’s always been interesting to talk to. He tries to act cool and calm even though he’s terrible at it, then comes clean right after. Before I knew it I was telling him things I hadn’t talked about with people before. I could tell he looked at me like most guys do, but also genuinely wanted to listen to me. Talk about playing unfair; he got defenseless. Suddenly I was smiling again. Anytime with him was time well spent. Then one day, I kissed him.
Ruby:Happily ever after?
Yang:Not even close! Hahaha!
Weiss:Why do you sound proud?
Yang:It’s funny looking back at it to a certain degree. Gods, I was such a brat. More than a few fights are on me. Between Blake, Raven, and other experiences, my insecurities flared up in ugly ways over nothing. It even got us to break up too. I was officially done with dating. My Ruby was out in an uncomfortable position.
Ruby:I bet! I’d never want you two fighting. Especially in my world. Picking between the person I love and my sister!? I don’t know what will happen.
Yang:I kinda do. *sets up* You’d start dating Jaune because you’ve looked at him since Beacon. The two of you would confide in each other and share a special kind of love, but it would be bittersweet. All because your sister still pines for him and never met to make him leave, and Jaune never says it, but he hates how things fell apart. He’s faithful to you and would never do you wrong, a guy to truly cherish. So... you let him go. Watch him walk back to your sister like you asked, because my happiness was worth that much to you.
Ruby:....
Yang: In my world at least. Honestly it’s still the most amazing thing I’ve seen you do. We must’ve cried over that conversation for hours. I felt so guilty and you only smiled, hugging me tight. Jaune and I had a few more stumbles. Nothing serious though. Eventually we moved in together when the world was saved. You and Oscar got together officially which made me happy. Even made our weddings a competition of who’d make dad bawl his eyes out the most. You won by the way; Raven came back into our family and into dad’s arms. Last but not least I had a baby. Yujin Xiao Long, my fucking pride and joy from above.
Weiss:Wow, that’s a lot.
Blake:What am I doing? Did I marry Sun?
Yang:Yep. You and blondes Blake, I tell ya.
Weiss:Hold the phone! Who am I with!?
Yang:Pretty sure you’re technically single. Buuuut, Neo and your have gotten pretty friendly from what I managed to interrogate out of you.
Weiss:That’s, highly unexpected. For a number of reasons.
Yang:Better believe it. Besides Cinder, a few crazies, and Salem, a few people made something of themselves. Dying sucks after all.
Ruby:You have a dead Cinder?
WBY: You don’t?
Ruby:*crosses arms* Hmph, I’ll wait my turn. Yang, you said you’re the only mother from our team. If Blake and I have been married for quite some time then what, we don’t want kids?
The joyful sunshine from Yang slipped into grayer skies. Her smile faded and it increasingly got harder to look at this Ruby without thinking of her own.
Yang:Are you sure that’s something you wanna know? I’ll tell you, but I didn’t want to bring down the mood with the problems where I from.
Blake:Problems? How big of a problem.
Yang:The biggest we’ve faced. It’s...a lot.
Ruby:Well we’ve listened this far. *takes hand* Lay it on us.
Yang:Pfft, oh boy. So...umm...another secret war came up. One that caused us to leave our friends and family for over a decade.
Weiss:A decade!?
Blake:What gets worse after Salem!? Who tries anything after a grimm queen!?
Yang:So a majority of Remnant was still unaware of her, but a fight like that can only be kept under wraps so tightly. Plenty of people still learned fractions of the truth. A few of those people weren’t exactly nice guys. They idolized her efforts and became her followers that wanted to keep her will alive, starting with taking revenge on the people who defeated her. We were so unaware. So caught up in normalcy. They ambushed us, and I mean everyone. We...we didn’t come out unscathed. Ren was crippled badly. Weiss, you almost your brother. Jaune’s family got hit but thankfully lived. The real casualties were aimed to hurt Ruby.
Ruby:Oh, of course. S-So, either you’re about to say I had no time to start a family, or...
Yang:...
Yang:When I tell you the look you made when you learned what happened to Oscar, to Qrow... that’s the moment it felt like my little sister left forever. Till this day you don’t smile like you used to. Very recently, now that it’s finally over, you’ve started looking better, but those ten years were hell. We choose to go out and fight again, avoiding contact with family. I haven’t had a real opportunity to be in my daughters life.
Ruby:How old is she?
Yang:Sixteen soon. Left her when she was four so you know. *tearing up* I missed everything. Just about anyways. Ironically it was Raven and Adam that helped her through the years with Jaune and Dad. Eventually we came back and ooohh boy was Yujin not thrilled in the slightest. Hehehe. Her right hook is really strong. I only had about a week with her before things got complicated again. *wipes eyes* But it’s okay. We left on good term. Something I definitely don’t feel like I deserve.
Blake:I can’t believe a thing like that would be possible.
Yang:Cults are a huge problem in Remnant now. You’re definitely aware of that. You actually oversee a little group from the shadows to deal with them in secret. An idea you got from experience. Adam works for you and everything. Hate to admit, but he’s become the guy you wanted him to be. Even has a family. I’m grateful to him. He personally kept my girl safe.
Blake:To think I’d hear you say that. Now I know this isn’t my world.
Yang:Don’t get me wrong, I still will hit him if given the chance. My life hasn’t been charmed and sacrifices too great were happening way too many times but it finally has gotten to a point where everyone feels like we’re taking steps towards a better future.
Weiss:Moving forward?
Yang:Yes, I was trying to avoid the phrase but yes Weiss, we’re moving forward. Still... *looks at Ruby*....
Ruby:W-What?
Yang:It’s unreal seeing you like this. My Ruby has become so strong and endured but hasn’t really picked herself up completely. All her tragedy stemmed from the loss of Oscar and Qrow; her last talk with Oscar was fight about kids too. That’s the entire reason she went off alone in the first place. Looking at you I can’t help but question my own choices. If...I just let her stay with Jaune, then maybe-
Ruby:Nope.
Yang:Huh?
Ruby:Look, if I know anything about your world, then it’s gonna be me and I can tell you without a doubt your Ruby doesn’t blame or would consider her own happiness without you. She loved you enough to take the chance to find love again. You really think there’s anything you could’ve done differently at that point. That girl is as stubborn as they come! *smiles* So buck up cowgirl. You deserve it.
A sense of warmth came over Yang as she heard those words. This other Ruby smiled at her with the same love as her own; completely caring about Yang’s feeling before her own. Yang felt so...unburdened. She couldn’t help but cry a little, laughing softly as she did. Who would’ve thought love could transcend worlds? It was so vindicating, therapeutic even.
Yang:Ruby, you’re something else entirely, you know that?
Ruby:It’s my curse. All I ever wanted was normal knees but the world said “no, special eyes!”
Yang:Well I guess I should thank the world then?
Weiss:You said your Ruby is getting better? That’s good. Still, it must be pretty weird looking at Jaune. Can’t imagine how lonely it must feel losing a love twice.
Blake:It never numbs.
Yang:Geez you two, lighten up. We can’t all be depressed. Ruby also didn’t lose Jaune. Actually....there may or may not have been an interesting...arrangement for a brief period of time.
Ruby:Ehhh what?
Yang:Hehehe well, hahaha, ummmm a decade is a very long time without feeling any kind of pleasure in a bleak situation. And you know me, I have to share things with you all my life.
Ruby:OH MY GOD!!!
Blake:*grinning* Yooooo! You loaned out Jaune!?
Weiss:That’s....accurate; in a lot of ways.
Ruby:That’s so scandalous! How could you!?
Yang:I didn’t force it! I gave the option, you said no, then you changed your mind because things got real stressful. Like come on, a decade of death and loneliness.
Ruby:Sigh...yeah. I can see it. Still, it’s so filthy. He’s a married man. What, so I’d just look at you and say “Yang I’m gonna sleep with Jaune, don’t come in the room.”
Yang:....
Ruby:What?
Yang:....Nothing.
Ruby:Bullshit! What is it!?
Yang:*scratches head* Well, I was lonely too, and a week is only so long-
Weiss:Oh so it was a group thing!!?
Ruby:WHAT!?
Yang:Only sometimes!
Ruby:SOMETIMES!?
Blake:HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! THAT IS AMAZING!
Ruby:Why are you laughing!?
Blake:Because that’s just so extreme, and not, all at the same time. I could totally see that happening.
Weiss:Same. Dang, Jaune slept with sisters. That’s dangerously close to being like your dad.
Ruby:That’s different!
Blake:Is it though?
Yang:Eh, I don’t see the problem. We’re all grown and make choices. Plus I’m the one who guided you through awkward teenage changes. It not like we didn’t share a room for years.
Ruby:That doesn’t make it okay.
Yang:Eh debatable.
Ruby:*red* It isn’t though! How could I do something so bold!? So taboo!?
Weiss:It isn’t like you’re the one who did it. Just a version of you.
Ruby:Not better!
Yang:Awwww it’s okay Ruby. Let’s hug it out. Hehehe *opens arms*
Ruby:Don’t touch me!
Weiss and Blake laugh until their sides hurt as Ruby tries escaping the bear hug that terrorized her. Yang’s world found interesting for sure. Weiss finally decides to help Ruby out.
Weiss:Got a picture of Yujin?
Yang’s eyes lit up and pulled out her scroll. Her team huddled around her and collectively cooed like that parents they are at the sight of a blonde young girl with gorgeous blue eyes with a black combat school graduation cap and gown and a certificate proudly raised up high. If it wasn’t for those eyes and shoulders length hair, they might’ve mistaken her for Yang.
Yang:She’s going to Beacon early because she’s fucking awesome like her mom.
Ruby:I think you mean her aunt?
Yang:I know what I said.
Weiss:I bet she’s just as hardheaded.
Blake:What do you think your kid is up to right now?
Yang: Well...*smiles*
xxxx
The girl in question sat at a work bench with oil on her face and her hands busy tinkering with gauntlets. She looked over at blueprints in a journal. If they were right, then she was definitely doing something wrong. How her mother made something so complex was crazy!
Yujin:Come on Yujin. You can fix a car, making gauntlets into a sword that don’t break should be easy!
Footsteps came up from behind her and a plate stacked with sandwiches. She looked up and smiled at her dad that gave her a wink, then kissed her forehead.
Jaune:Haveing fun, you grease monkey.
Yujin:Jokes on you, I like monkeys. Just a few more attempts and I’ll have the coolest weapon in Remnant. That entrance exam is as good as aced.
Jaune:Not if you don’t have a landing strategy. Tomorrow we’re going on a trip.
Yujin:Does it happen to be near a cliff?
Jaune:Who can say? Rule one of being a huntsman, be prepared for everything.
He ruffled her hair and left, laughing evilly. Yujin could tell he’s been waiting for this day. She pulled out her scroll and searched through a collection of videos labeled “mom” and found a super early one. She hit play and watched her mother give a peace sign to the camera as trees increasingly got closer from below.
Yang:Beacon rules!!!! Wooohooo!
The camera flipped and focused on a familiar blonde flailing through the air like a doll in the distance.
Yang:Oof, hate to be that guy! Wait, that’s vomit boy! Hahah, hope he survives. He owes me shoes. Poor dude. I guess he needs more training in flirting and landing. Wait, eugh I think he barfed again! Hahaha!
Jaune:Stop watching that one!!!!
Yujin:Hahaha but it’s the best one. The ending is priceless.
Jaune: *walks back down*
Yang:Well if he survives this I guess I can off him at least I can offer him mints and company. Fake it to ya make Jaune. Between me and Ruby, at least you’ll look like a player. Heh, nah, I don’t think I can support a bunny onesie.
Yujin and Jaune:*grinning* And then she did! *high-fives* Arc charm, baby!
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gagmebucky · 3 years
Note
Hi, I just really wanted to rant about something and I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone I know irl so…
My dad is just a normal guy in every sense of the word, good and bad. One thing that’s bothered me for a while now is how I recognized he talks to my mom and while it’s not degrading, it’s just entitled and annoying.
Since my brother and I were born, she quit her job to take care of us so he’s been the one primarily earning money. This arrangement hasn’t put our family in any type of financial jeopardy at all, we live in a nice house in a nice area and his job combined with the money he makes from his previous service in the military makes him around 150k a year. One thing I’d like to note is that he works a normal 8 to 5 job. But for a year or so the majority of his company has switched to a12 hours day so they get a three day weekend every week.
Now I know you may be wondering what money has to do with any of this and I promise that I’ll get to that part I’m just really angry and need to get this all off of my chest.
Anyways, my mom started working again 2-3 years ago at his request and now she works AND does all the stereotypical motherly things (cooks dinner, cleans, any other odd jobs that need to be done around the house)
All the while my mom has been doing this, my dad does his 12 hour days (including lunch in those 12 hours) and he’s allowed to take 10 minute breaks and most often times watch tv in the background while he’s working (he’s been working from home since COVID and doesn’t have any plans to go back since his job is mostly on the computer anyways other than a couple in-person meetings a month)
After my dad is done with work, he basically retires for the night and just watches tv while waiting for mom to serve him whatever food or leftovers she’s put on a plate for him.
Now, I get to the current issue.
My mom doesn’t ask for much or even anything from him in terms of helping her. But there are just some things that make me angry when he says them.
In the past couple of weeks for pretty much the 1st consistent time since March, my dad started walking and exercising again which he does outside or in the garage. My father has naturally oily skin, and even if he didn’t, he is exercising so his skin will be sticky and sweaty! RIGHT!?!?!
However when my mom brought it up a couple days ago she didn’t even say what we both were thinking which was YOU STINK AND ARE THEREFORE MAKING THE HOUSE STINK!!!
Instead, she politely asked if he would take a shower since he worked out and specificied that she was telling him this out of love without even mentioning him stinking up the house or more specifically the kitchen that he was in.
Instead of understanding that exercise makes you sweat and sweat makes you smell, he snarkelly shot back, that he had something to tell her out of love too. And although he trailed off with a cocky laugh, the context of the situation and his numerous past suggestions obviously implied that he was talking about my mom’s weight.
I would like to specify that my mother is not obese or unhealthy, in fact she eats considerably less junk food than he does. And even if she was, it did not prompt my dad making that “joke”.
Now fast forward a few minutes, my mom and I left to go grocery shopping for the food she would make for him without him even having to lift a finger. She ranted to me that him needing to take a shower had nothing to do with her weight. From what she was saying I could tell that she wasn’t that angry about what he said about her weight, but more so about him deflecting the conversation from his smellyness to her (which is something he does often so he doesn’t look like the “bad guy”)
Now to today, my father once again “joked” with my mom when asked if he would honestly like to help her blow dry her hair (I say honestly because she wanted his honest opinion on whether he would like to do it or not, and it was something she never really needs help with but she wanted to spend time with him) he said that he needs to consult the “guy’s handbook” to figure out if that was a trick question. (My father is 55 years old and they’ve been married for 30 something years)
I’m sure there’s a psychological reason why I got so angry at him but I’m not going to settle that I was once again tired that he treated my mom like crap despite her doing everything for him. So I told him that my mom was being serious and it wasn’t a trick question.
I (kinda) knew that he knew this, and was trying to make a joke. But explaining it was my version of the whole “I don’t understand your ‘joke’ please explain it to me” in an attempt to discourage him from making it again.
But in an event that I would have seen coming if I wasn’t so angry, it didn’t work and he instead got mad at me. Recognizing that I could have handled the situation better, I just apologized however I was crying because of his rant that I wasn’t a part of the conversation and shouldn’t have stepped in . (I normally wouldn’t be so sensitive but for some reason it’s like everytime I have a family argument it’s that time of the month so I’m emotionally sensitive)
I retreated back into my room and apparently I wasn’t crying as quietly as I thought I was because be he then knocked on my door, then demanded that I come out and “spend time with him” so he could know what was wrong.
Now, I thought this was code for I’m going to apologize, but no… he literally didn’t understand that his words hurt my feelings and demanded that I tell him what was “really” wrong as if him yelling at me wasn’t a good enough reason to be crying.
After curtly telling him what was wrong in so many words as to not offend him further. He dryly apologized before defending himself and saying that it wasn’t his fault that I got angry and he was just trying to make a joke that he insisted would apparently be funny if I didn’t cut in. Then he dryly promised that he would try to treat my mother nicer and not make as many “jokes” because he can tell how much it affects me.
There is probably more to the story that I forgot to leave out. And I kinda want to know if I’m in the wrong in the situation or not. And reading back over this i am definitely biased but if you can manage to remove the emotion from my words then those are honestly the facts about what happened.
I recognize that I am selfish, he actually told me that one, but looking back over my life I know that I have been rude when “defending” my mom. I put it in quotations because my mom doesn’t need defending and she is more than capable to speaking up when there’s a big problem.
But I just get annoyed at people when they rudely deny her some of the smaller things she requests like help blow drying her hair and things she won’t insist on them helping on. I’d understand if kindly said no thanks or I can’t do it right now, but he just had to joke about it and be curt in his response for no reason.
All in all I’m just so angry that it is impossible for him to acknowledge what he did wrong without defending that actions that make someone sad or angry in the first place.
But anyways, I am extremely sorry for the rant and writing so much and I honestly don’t blame you if you didn’t even read all of this. I just wanted to tell someone and I love how your blog is so open and judgement free and you don’t act like you have all the answers of what is right or wrong but you just give your opinion and help when you can. Thanks so much for listening (reading, really) and I appreciate you so much!
baby, you didn’t do ANYTHING wrong. you are the opposite of selfish — your dad was being a fucking dick to your mom and you stood up for her. you had every right to be angry, and if i were you, i would’ve said some low blow, disrespectful, kick-me-out-of-the-house ass shit.
i think (respectfully) you’re over analyzing yourself to find fault in yourself when it isn’t really there in my opinion. he’s complaining that you’re rude when he was the rude one and you literally just defending your mom. being rude is like “you stinky piece of shit, im gonna fucking drown you in bleach and lets see you make another fuckin comment BITCH”
but you did not do that therefore his argument is invalid. i can only say so much because it’s you in the thick of it but it definitely seems like your dad’s arrogant and entitled personality is so overbearing that it makes you be harder on yourself than you should be. i think, legally, you should get hit him once with a bat, non lethally of course (unless….. haha…?). i just know personally dealing with that personality type can create a LOT of contained anger.
anyway, im rly sorry you have to deal w him. i feel like you have a lot of weight on your shoulders and you seem so sweet and nice and you do not deserve to have to give your energy to that :(
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fallingfor-fics · 3 years
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Teachers Pet-chapter 3: black dress shoes
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chapter 2
It was definitely a lie, I don't think I could ever be ready to start a new life all alone, but I had Dumbledore so I guess I wasn't completely alone. But it didn't change from the fact I still felt alone. Part of me was still upset about my father. He didn't even look at me, and I know he blamed me partially for everything that's happened. But he was out of my life now and I had bigger things to worry about. Like walking into this school without dying. Dumbledore headed in and I followed closely behind my luggage levitating behind me. I took deep breaths and looked in awe all around me. "Now since it's late I won't be giving you a tour as of right now, I'll just get you situated in your temporary room until tomorrow." Dumbledore said softly, looking down at me gawking at the gorgeous building. I told myself to look away and just focus on my actions. I didn't want to grow to like this place. I missed Beauxbatons that would always be my home. I wasn't gonna let this school's extravagance trick me, Beauxbatons was gorgeous and elegant, but Hogwarts was a different kind of elegance. Somehow it felt more, comforting and warm.
   I shook the thoughts away and smiled up at Dumbledore, playing it cool. "Sounds great!" I responded. "Wonderful follow me then." he said walking down the hall. "Tonight you will just be sleeping in my quarters. I hope you don't mind but don't worry I have a guest room attached so you will have your own room and privacy." he said cheerily. "Wow thank you Dumbledore that's very kind I would have been okay with just crashing on the couch haha." I said lightly laughing. "Oh merlin no, I would not have my goddaughter sleeping on my couch, it's very uncomfortable." he said with a joking tone. I smiled and followed him to his quarters. We approached a gargoyle that was perched in front of us. I kept my eye on it worried it may move or be alive or something. He whispered a phrase that I couldn't understand and it moved aside to reveal this very odd almost circular staircase that was moving it seemed.  He walked up it with ease and looked back at me, visibly confused as to how I was supposed to walk on it without being thrown back down. "Don't overthink it my dear, just walk" he said kindly. I did as he said and just kept my eyes forward and walked up on it. Hmm how peculiar. "What did you whisper to make the gargoyle move?" I asked, curious. He just looked at me and smiled. I took that as, "it's a secret and I am not going to tell you hehe". I followed him into what I assumed was his office.
   I stood in awe looking all around at the most extravagant headmaster office I had ever seen. "Holy crap" I said, amazed. "Yes it is quite nice" he said with a small smile. "Quite? More like I could live here." I joked looking back at him noticing he had walked across the room and behind his desk. "Come," he said and I followed walking around his desk and chair. "Now back here" he said, opening a door to reveal a small but comfortable living quarters, "is where I sleep and if you come over here" he walked past his bed and to a bookshelf. He removed a rather large book and it revealed a small doorknob. He opened it up and it revealed a very cute guest room which looked to have been done up just for me. "This is your room for tonight." he said cheerily. My luggage flew past me and landed softly on the bed. "Now since it's late I won't waste anymore time and let you get your rest" he smiled. "Thank you so much this is perfect. Thank you for...everything" I said with a genuine tone. I walked over and gave him a hug, it was more than just a thank you hug. I was so glad to see him and not be alone. Someone to watch over me and make sure I was ok. It felt nice to have a parental figure here with me in this new strange place. He let out a light chuckle and patted my back. "Now I will be right in the next room if you need me, that door right there is a bathroom if you need to shower or anything of that sort. He said kindly while walking to the door. "Ok great thank you, goodnight" I said walking over to my bed to put my shoulder bag down. "Oh and y/n" he said and I turned to face him again. "I'm here" he said softly and walked out shutting the door behind him. It was almost enough to make me cry. It was so nice to hear those words. They comforted me so much to know I would be able to do this on my own but have someone for guidance. I smiled to myself and opened my suitcase getting out my pajamas and toothbrush. I got changed and put my day clothes back into my suitcase, hanging my coat and bag on the bedpost and putting my shoes at the door. I went into the bathroom shutting the door behind me. As I turned the faucet on I looked into the mirror. Brushing my h/c from my face and putting a headband in. I washed my face with the warm water and dried it off with the soft hand towel that was hung next to the mirror. I wet my toothbrush and brushed my teeth. Rinsing my mouth and wiping off the excess toothpaste and left my toothbrush there to dry. I exited the bathroom  and went and sat on the bed. I sat there and admired the room. There was a small window above the headboard that was too dirty to see out of. I used my sleeve to wipe a small circle and I looked out.
   I couldn't see much since it was dark but I could make out a few trees here and there. Hmm. I layed down and got under the covers. I closed my eyes and layed there trying to fall asleep. I looked over at the clock on the wall and it read 10:45. I looked back at the ceiling and then turned on my side, closing my eyes once more trying to clear my thoughts and fall asleep. After what seemed like forever I had no luck. I mean I did sleep nine hours on the train so of course I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep. I looked back at the clock and it now read 11:20. I sat up reaching over into my bag and pulling out my wand. I whispered a quiet "Lumos" and my wand lit up lighting up the whole room. I sat and stared at it not knowing what else to do. I held it up and began making shadow puppets on the wall. After a rabbit I began to feel silly, but I excused the childlike behavior because I didn't know what else to do. All of the sudden I started to hear a door. But it wasn't mine and it sounded farther away than Dumbledores. Then I heard muffled voices sounding like they came from his office. I whispered a "Nox" and my wand went out. I slowly and quietly got up and walked over to my door, pressing my ear to it but not having any luck in hearing better. I contemplated it for a moment and turned away back to my bed, I shouldn't, that would be an invasion of privacy. One of the voices grew louder and I then heard Dumbledore say to quiet down. I looked at the door. Well we all know im gonna do it. I have no respect for my morals. I tiptoed to the door and quietly and slowly turned the doorknob. As quiet as I could , I opened the door and peeked into his quarters, not seeing him but seeing the light from his office casted from under his door. I tiptoed over to that door making sure to not hit anything and breathing through my mouth to be as quiet as possible. Last thing I would want is to be caught eavesdropping on my first night in the castle. I gingerly pressed my ear to the door and stopped breathing to try and listen. "I think she will excel wonderfully here! You don't doubt my beliefs do you?" I heard Dumbledore say, surely he wasn't referring to me. "Of course not Albus, I just don't know if it's the best idea for her to be my student!" I heard a strange deep velvety voice say. Who does this guy think he is? Why wouldn't he want me in his class? "And why is that?" I heard Dumbledore respond calmly. The man paused and cleared his throat. "You know why." he retorted. The fuck does that mean I thought. My heart picked up speed as I began to grow very concerned and confused. "I think you are overreacting, she will be just fine." Dumbledore assured the man. I stepped back and laid on the floor trying to look under it. I laid my head on the cold stone floor and peaked through the small crack. All I could see was two pairs of shoes. Ones that were obviously Dumbledore's that were blue and had some light floral pattern and another pair of just black leather dress shoes. They continued talking but I zoned out staring at the pair of shoes. Hmm I took a mental note and got up off the floor. However when I was pushing up off the floor the rug my feet were on moved slightly and caused a small table to move and hit the wall with a thump. My eyes grew wide as their conversation came to a halt. "I thought you said she was asleep" the deep voice snarled. I didn't take any chances and sprinted back into my room closing the bookshelf door behind me as quietly as possible and jumping to the bed pulling the covers up over me and facing away from the door. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my head and feel it in my chest. My breath was ragged trying to catch up to itself. I heard his bedroom door open and heard him walk in and around it. I could hear him pause for a moment outside my door and then exit his room closing his door behind him. I heard them exchange a few more muffled words and then heard what I was assuming the black shoed man leaving his office and Dumbledore returning to his bedroom. I closed my eyes trying to be still just in case he came to check on me. I continued to fake sleep until it eventually caused me to drift off and finally fall asleep.
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partnersatfazbear · 3 years
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Fazbear Frights: What We Found Analysis
Here’s my analysis for What We Found, the third story in Gumdrop Angel. I wrote this as I read so it may be a little different than my previous analysis where I read the story first and went back.
If you’re a Michael Afton fan I highly recommend this. Also, there’s possibly some insight into William Afton, Mrs. Afton, and Henry too, so it’s worth a skim.
Pg 144 '...a place thirty-some years forgotten' Just reconfirming FNAF 3 is 30 years past *one* of the FNAF closings, presumably FNAF 2 location.
Pg 145 "The whole building was giving him [Hudson] a headache." FIX THE VENTILATION BRUH
Pg 148 '...they were able to use salvaged derelict equiptment original to the old pizzerias.' Another confirmation of something we heard from Phone Guy.
Pg 147 "How old are you?" "Twenty-three, same as you." I think this gives us Michael's age during FNAF 3.
EDIT: This kept me awake last night. Obviously this is impossible because he has to be alive for at least 10 years before 1983, BUT maybe its just reconfirming FNAF 3′s year? 2023?
Pg 149 "Hudsan's dad died and his mom married Lewis, a ridiculous balding man who wore plaid vests and smoked a pipe" Did... Did this book just seriously imply Mrs. Afton left William for Henry? Really? (Yes, there's differences; the husband is dead and the man wears plaid 'vests' but it seems very odd to include that detail. This could just have been the writer's own imagination, though.) I have seen this as a fan theory and 100% explains the jealousy aspect of William, but I can't help but kinda hate it. I think this is very important, though, and probably Scott's intention. "This horrible little man [Lewis]... would make Hudson's next ten years a living Hell" This REALLY intrigues me given the context I just went over. The text implies Lewis was fairly neglectful to our main character / Michael stand-in Hudson. Maybe I'm wrong and for some reason Mrs. Emily left and went to William? XD Haha, I'm reading too much into this page. Maybe I'll come back to this later. I figure it's more of Scott possibly including double-details (contradicting stuff with the same character that really applies to two, which has been something I heavily pointed out in previous anaylsis on this blog) Having said that, I'm going w/the former because I can't imagine Henry being abusive (neglectful yes, abusive no) and he's never been portrayed that way in official works like William has in the novels.
Pg 150 "Hudson began to screw up in class...a product of spending the night in fear that his stepfather [Lewis]... [would] beat him just for the fun of it." Ooof. Big confirm on William actually being abusive. Unless we stick with the Henry theory for Lewis (combined with Midnight Motorist Henry theory / alcoholic). "...near-daily beatings..." "his mom started taking pills to get through the day..." So, whoever Mrs. Afton is, she was definetly not paying attention. But then, most people married to serial killers either don't notice because of denial (like this) or because the killer is so manipulative / careful they can't notice.
"Barry, who had red hair and freckles..." Yo?! Is that a description of Fritz?! These friends in the story could be the other kids Michael knew's stand-in's, aka the two gravestones with names he used (Fritz and Jeremy), as shown in the checks for the games and FNAF 6. I've long figured Michael was probably friends with the victims--it makes them easier, although riskier, targets [for William]. The two friends are male, too, like Fritz and Jeremy. If you're curious about Duane's description (our stand in for Jeremy), it's "tight black shirt... muscles... black hair long enough for a glossy ponytail..." I'm not sure if this matches anything found in the novels or contradicts them, though. (The novels = TSE trilogy)
"And so it went... until the night of the fire." For context, this is before FF burns down. We're learning of Hudson's life from his close friends in childhood, his father's death, his mother remarrying, to his abusive stepfather, to his grades slipping to this line. This would be a new fire not seen/mentioned in the games...
Pg 151 "...go to Charlie's for a sundae..." Really. Really Scott. Just gonna use this name again. OK. I'm not even gonna discuss this because it's probably irrelevant. *This is confirmed on pg 158 to be an ice cream shop. No lore relevance aside the annoying name coincidences Scott loves to troll with.
"This is not... an advance into enemy territory, a fight with demons, or a descent into Hell..." Uh, what? What is Hudson talking about? XD I'm only noting it because it seems so out of place. He's probably talking about video games or something.
Another note, although I don't have a specific reference since it is mentioned off-hand many times, is that Hudson keeps referring to his "history" which is implied to have kept him from getting a well-paying job and a girl he's crushing on doesn't know this "history" which is good for him. Seems good old "Michael Stand-In" has done some jail time or something. Edit: On pg 154/155 the girl asks Hudson, "Did you do it?" Seems he may have killed his stepfather or been involved with something else just as bad. Edit 2: No, I was thinking too deep into it. This probably refers to Evan's death at Fredbear's. DUH.
Pg 156 describes an actual "prize corner" in FF! What am I even reading? IIRC this is in FNAF 3, too. So they just hand out these scary gift boxes to people that complete the attraction? (Hudson says he *would* have fun handing out the scary toys to kids when this location opens--kind of a bully thing to do, eh?)
"[Hudson] avoid[ed] glancing in any of the mirrors..." I'm only pointing this out because it could be reference to one of two things. 1) We know because of one of UCN's music tracks, William has a fear of his reflection. Michael probably shares this trait, especially since 2) after Ennard and all... and later on pg 157 it also says, "he never wanted to face: himself" Sounds like guilt, my guy.
Pg 157 "blonde hair... blue eyes..." Hudson shares an eye color with Michael. It's possible Michael had blonde hair as a child and it changed to brown (it's common, something I personally went through being technically blonde/ blue eyed myself)
"He [Hudson] knew from personal experience that toys could turn from fun...to torture ina heart-beat" Fairly self explanatory. Either Hudson's worked at a creepy location before or he doesn't like remembering Fredbear's.
*checks how much is left.* There's still 35 pages (not counting back/front) left of this... This is gonna be a lot of notes.
Pg 158 Hudson doesn't have a car. Poor Mike, probably having to walk everywhere. Especially as a corpse.
Pg 160 This page describes many physical issues Hudson has that prevents him from entering the Navy, all from the abuse of Lewis. Obvious paralell to Michael becoming an undead [because his father sent him to CBPR indirectly causing his condition]
Pg 161 "How's your granny, Hud?... ...Is she still alive?" "I don't think she can die." Does anyone in the Afton family really 'die'? XD
Pg 162 These few pages discuss Hudson's grandmother. She's described as "a seer who claimed to know the future... ...wore big men's plaid flannel shirts with baggy jeans" Um, more plaid / flannel? AGH. STAHP. Lowkey, I would totally headcanon my Aunt Jen like this, though.
Pg 163 "Hudson's mom... the way she was before Hudson's dad had died... never... particularly warm and fuzzy... but... effiencient and responsible..." More about Mrs. Afton, so that's kinda neat.
"Hudson's dad was fun and attentive." There's a good Dad in this series?
"Unfortunetly, he also struggled with mental illness." "invisible low points" (Pg 164) Kinda reminds me of how Henry is described after Charlotte's death in the books.
Pg 164 "When Steven got himself into a bad deal that cost him his small business... he'd taken his life." Oh, it is Henry! SMH. Way to use confusing paralells. So, from our understanding thus far, Hudson's real father, Steven, is our Henry stand-in. His step-father despite being described similar to Henry, is actually our William stand-in. Fair game, Scott.
Pg 164 "...he [Hudson] was locked into a supply closet..." Oh shit, you guys. So, let me go on a tangent here, because this IS important! I just watched a retrospective on Sister Location and FNAF 6 earlier and one theory for Midnight Motorist was the person in the chair was the mother and the kid was Michael. I think this little line may confirm that. In fact, the story may be the key to figuring things out. Obviously, the line is a paralell to FNAF 4's scene in which Crying Child was locked in the supply closet of Fredbear's. I know some people, including Matpat, believe[d] CC was Michael, and in this book's context, it sort of works. This does contradict Step Closer and 1000 other things that make Michael the older brother, but maybe it's hinting at MM? Abusive stepdad (possibly Henry... maybe William is gone at this point), checked out Mom (hey, grey couch lady with Foxybro's font). IDK, but its definetly something to think about.
Pg 165 Lewis is mentioned as calling Hudson "nothing" and saying "you're nothing" on several occasions on this page. Just more abuse, for those accurate fanfic writers like me. Also I kinda wanna watch Morel Orel again. Yall know my fav character is Clay. Yall know.
"You're smoke." <-- Lewis / The text later reads, "...there was some irony, given what eventually happened." BRUH. Why did your stepdad die in a fire? :V TELL ME.
"When his family's house burned down at the end of his senior year..." Huh. Is there a fire we don't know about in the game-verse? Could this explain what happened to the FNAF 4 house before MM house?!
"...it purged Hudson of Lewis and his mother." MRS. AFTON BURNED ALIVE, TOO? Bruh. I can't with this story.
The text later describes the fire is concluded to be man-made and Hudson was blamed for it. Can't say if this ties to Michael, but it IS interesting... TBF, there is a small paralell to draw between Henry in FNAF 6 and his history of suicide in the books, too.
Pg 166 "...this place's [FF] busted thermostat.." I just find this line funny.
Pg 167 "...after three weeks of keeping an eye on the place" Some more timeline context for FNAF 3. We know that Michael worked there a little while before we start playing the game thanks to one of the phone calls, IIRC, so this makes sense. If Michael was accused of [something] and also wanting to hunt down his father, then it makes perfect sense why he's working a dead end job at Freddy's over and over and over. Fun fun fun.
Pg 169 "He hated to think about a functional character [Foxy]" This line is in regards to Hudson not liking the set up of Pirate's Cove and Foxy's hook to scare people. Sounds familiar, don't it? (For Michael anyway.)
Pg 173 "Some big find is arriving tomorrow." SPRINGY BOI! COME ON BOOK, get on with the show?
Pg 176 "Granny was wearing a red-and-green plaid shirt and her baggy jeans." Nothing special, but it was specifically brought up twice. I'm kind of racking my brain trying to understand what the point of this character is outside of "woooo everything is haunted don't you know that" kind of character.
Pg 180 "...dropped the crate on the linoleum with a resounding thud." HEY. Poor Springtrap, just gettin' tossed around like the trash he is.
Pg 186 "If you weren't so stupid, I'd tell you more about it." Springtrap bringing the burn. =:)
"A voice with a burr-like rasp...hint of a Southern accent" I'm going to assume this is because it's Lewis probably in the suit in this story and not our old British lad.
"It's was Mr. Atkin's voice." THE MATH TEACHER? *goes back to check* 'The algebra teacher'. Okay...
Pg 190 Okay, so Hudson hear's Lewis' voice this time. Okay, I get it now. Springtrap in this kind of imbodies all of Hudson's old bullies, including the teacher. He also has PTSD, just FYI. IDK if anyone finds that important, but it's fairly obvious by the line "He wasn't in his bedroom. Lewis didn't just slam his head into a desk; his head had been slammed into the [arcade] game."
"Why did he hallucinate a scene from his childhood?" Oh, it's not PTSD, then. It's just the VENTILATION ERROR. lol Okay.
Just a note, as I'm reading through the more action-based stuff, I kind of feel bad for Michael if he had flashbacks like this guy. They're intense.
So, Lewis' voice finally comes out of Springtrap on Pg 213. There's that.
Pg 220 "You can just stay there [in his room]" Kind of a paralell to Midnight Motorist. Lewis is saying it to Hudson. I really feel like the kid in the MM game is Michael because of this story...
Pg 223 "Heat purges. Fire heals." I'm sure that's Henry's life motto.
The ending was stupid, but most in these stories are. Hudson is hallucinating and is implied to have burned himself alive in FF's oven. Meh? The first half of this one is A TRIP and a little insight into what I 100% believe is Michael's childhood. I think the saddest part of it all is that we never got Springtrap speaking to Michael in FNAF 3--and if it's ever remade I hope we get more of them interacting.
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consumeconstantly · 4 years
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Small Buff Girl Sightings Ch. 5
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ao3
3:00AM | CoffeeVamp: bb bat update us TheOG: ^^ more info on the situation in paris
3:28AM | Demonspawn: It is difficult to obtain information on Hawkmoth. The butterflies disperse after they are cleansed, and before they land their target, they don’t show up electronically.  Coffee Vamp: o how the mighty have fallen i thought u said u could best me bb boi
3:42AM | Demonspawn: I’d like to see you do better. Coffee Vamp: IS THAT A CHALLENGE Coffee Vamp: ill take u up on that gimme 24 hours and ur going down TheOG: he has had a whole month so dont be too sure of that LadyLady: would you guys SHUT UP its two and some of us have jobs to do Coffee Vamp: cmon babs u luv us dont deny it LadyLady: Don’t make me hunt you down, Tim. Coffee Vamp: oOooO proper punctuation im shaking TheOG: just shut off notifications Babs TheOG: Bruce does Jesus: i don’t think the man has checked this chat in years Coffee Vamp: wdym brucie checks the chat all the time hes just a silent lurker Coffee Vamp: he doesnt even set himself to invisible
3:57AM | Daddy is away. Coffee Vamp: im so glad i have admin privileges imagine if i didnt bruce would have a boring normal nickname like his actual name LadyLady: good lord, why am I even in this chat?? Daddy: You’re supposed to keep them under control. Coffee Vamp: SEE I TOLD U BRUCE IS A SILENT LURKER> THIS. IS. SOLID. PROOF. IN YOUR FACE TheOG: nobody said otherwise Coffee Vamp: also how are the people have you made friends Jesus: Demon spawn? Making friends? Id be less surprised if he told us he has a new fling Coffee Vamp: is j right? Got a winter fling? 
4:12AM | Coffee Vamp: ur lack of a response tells us nothing  TheOG: im sure he’s just adopted his usual icy persona Coffee Vamp: haha hes the bb of so many things Coffee Vamp: bb vamp bb demon spawn ice ice bb Coffee Vamp: getitt im so funny
4:36AM | Coffee Vamp: guys?
“I told you I could get her to write her number on your cup,” Marinette grins with pride.
“And I told you I didn’t want her to.” Damian scowls and kicks a pebble in his path.
“You’re still wearing the clothes I picked out for you,” she points out.
“You told me to wear it. I wore it. I’m not interested in her.” 
Marinette squints at Damian, evaluates whether he’s telling the truth or not. “Huh, you really aren’t interested. I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t wear the other outfit I picked out for you-- that one would have gotten her to ask you out on the spot.”
Damian groans. “We’re going to have to find a new coffee place.”
“Or we could just come when she’s not on shift and run away like mice when we do see her?”
Damian gives her The Look.
“But they have good coffee here,” Marinette whines.
“Maybe you should have thought about that before dressing me up and sending me to my death.”
“It’s not my fault! You only have your parents to blame for your looks.”
It’s true; both of Damian’s parents are good-looking. His whole family is, actually, adopted or not. All of the good looking people he meets are talented and have a tragic life story. Which is the cause and which is the effect, Damian isn’t sure. But it holds true even in Paris. All he has to do is look at Marinette or Adrien, though he’s not a hundred percent sure where the tragedy kicks in for Marinette. Probably the time when she was at odds with Lila, but he hasn’t looked much into the situation. He can even use Lila Rossi as an example. She has even worse color coordination than Damian is, but her features are model worthy. Lila Rossi is also definitely fucked up in ways that Damian doesn’t care to explore.
The effects of Marinette’s well-placed compliments has Damian thinking about himself in a positive manner that he never has before. Bruce is always stingy with praise, and the other senior members of the Justice League of America see him as another Robin that doesn’t need praise because competency comes with the mantle. Dick and Barbara compliment him occasionally, but that’s rarer now that his place is more firmly cemented in the family. Damian doesn’t think he’s ever had someone so willing to genuinely compliment him. Marinette’s compliments extend to more than just his looks, as well. She praises his technological skills as he sets up her website and has complimented him as he helps her out with whatever altercations she inevitably comes across on the streets. If he reveals his skills as Robin, reveals himself as Damian Wayne, will he receive even more praise?
“But since we did buy you that absolute knockout of an outfit, you’re going to have to wear it eventually. So whose heart do you want to steal?”
“I don’t want a relationship,” Damian repeats. They seem like more effort than they’re worth, and he always sees couples fighting and complaining about each other. Plus, they have to make time for each other and his alter ego doesn’t allow for that, though he supposes that he isn't Robin. At least, not right now.
“You don’t need to want a relationship just to flirt with somebody. Who’s it going to be? The intern at the Louvre? My parent’s newest hire? Oooh, how about Nicolette?” Marinette’s voice takes on a more mischievous tone. 
Damian will give Marinette this much: her taste in the aesthetics of people is far from bad. The intern from the Louvre is two hundred pounds of lean muscle with a devil-may-care smile and a deep, belly laugh that makes people laugh with him, but Damian and he don’t have anything in common. Her parent’s new hire is knockout gorgeous, with warm brown eyes, and definitely the kind of girl Damian would have gone for as a one night stand back in Gotham. However, he’s also 98% sure that she has a very possessive boyfriend who stops by the bakery every time she has a shift. Nicolette is considered her college’s belle, and her intense gaze paired with her surprisingly friendly demeanor might have been appealing to Damian if she weren’t ten years older than him. 
“I’m not into any of them,” he says, simply.
“Then who are you into? Surely someone has caught your eye in the past month?” Marinette looks genuinely curious, but her expression shifts into horror. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I never asked your preferences, if I was being insensitive, I’m sorry, I mean I’m pan, but you absolutely don’t have to tell me, it’s your right if you’re not comfortable.”
Damian does look slightly uncomfortable now that she’s looking at him more closely. His arms are crossed over each other, across his chest, and his hair is tousled. Then, he lets out a small laugh, and Marinette melts. “It’s fine, Pigtails. All of the people you listed are attractive, but I’m not attracted to them. I’m more of a personality guy, though I can’t say that personality has stopped me from things more than dates before.”
He’s had his fair share of hook-ups and makeout sessions in the past when feeling particularly frustrated with something that wasn’t going his way, though his primary method of relief is through sparring. Short missions and one night stands go fairly well together; he doesn’t ever have to deal with people wanting long term relationships, and even if they do, he’s gone before they know it. So far, he hasn’t hooked up with anyone in Paris, but then again, he’s only been here for a month and this is a long term mission. Whatever time he’s not with Marinette or at school is dedicated to piecing together the mystery that is the Miraculous and trying to figure out Hawkmoth’s identity. 
“Oh,” Marinette continues to blush.
She’s clearly too embarrassed to bring up any other topic, so Damian decides that he’ll shoot the same conversation topic back at her. Marinette is attractive, and people she meets ask for her numbers and dates often enough. She’ll accept the former if they aren’t a total creep, but she always turns down requests for dates.
“And you? Why aren’t you out there questing for love? No crushes or significant others that I need to beat off with a stick?”
This does manage to lessen her flush. She frowns, turns something over in her mind. 
“No crushes right now, no. I used to have a huge crush on Adrien just a year ago. He’s such a sweet person, but we don’t see eye to eye on important matters.” And also not into sex, either. Even physical affection hits him the wrong way sometimes, which makes Marinette worry even further for his well being with Lila’s constant touches. Still, he hasn’t said anything, and Lila hasn’t done anything more than grasp his arm or shoulders every now and then, to reassure the class that yes, they are the golden couple. Marinette also suspects that he is very unwilling to talk about the whole situation in general, and it’s not as though they’re super close.
Of course she had a crush on Adrien. Damian can see it now, Marinette looking at Adrien with her big blue eyes, her lashes fluttering when she gets close to him. Stuttering when she gets embarrassed or when she gets close to him. It makes his lungs constrict, but he’s not sure why.
“As for past relationships, there’s only really Luka. We had a pretty good run, but he’s out of the country, touring. He wanted to try long distance, but I didn’t really want that. But he’s respectful-- there’s no need to beat him off with a stick or anything.”
“I’m surprised a pretty girl like you doesn’t have more suitors,” Damian says, stepping over a crack in the sidewalk as they walk towards the park.
Marinette gags. “There are some other people who have been interested, but I wouldn’t exactly consider them relationship material. If you’re going after a girl just because she looks exotic, that’s sort of nasty. I guess I’m just unlucky in love.”
“At least you’re not as bad off as Ladybug is,” Damian jokes.
She looks at him strangely. “What makes you say that?”
“Well, first there was that creepy sculptor who must have been twice her age, then there’s Chat Noir who keeps flirting with her despite her requests not to, plus all of the random love akumas. I’m not even going to talk about the hordes of guys who chase after her, trying to get a date just because she’s a superhero. It’s not even like she can kick them between the legs because she has an image to uphold and all that.” He smirks, nudges her with his arm. “I’m surprised you haven’t done that with some of your stalkers.”
“Oh. You’re right, huh. Though, I don’t think Chat Noir has actually flirted for a while now.”  Chat Noir has been very subdued as of late, and it makes Ladybug worry.
Marinette feels uncomfortable with the way the conversation has shifted. How does Damian know about all of these past akuma attacks? As far as Marinette is aware, most information about anything Miraculous related is difficult to get a hold of abroad, largely because the Miraculous try to hide their existence as best they can, and partially because Mayor Bourgeois doesn’t want word to get out that he hasn’t flushed a supervillain terrorist out even though he’s had three years to do it.
“Copycat happened three years ago.” It’s a question, almost.
“I figure I might as well keep up with the heroes of Paris. I’m here and they’re interesting.” Damian figures this is as good a time as any to bring up his interest in Hawkmoth. Marinette has been nothing but helpful and she’s definitely the kind of person whose heart is in the right place. Not to mention that she’s definitely smart and seems impartial; the one time he asked her about her thoughts on the heroes, he found out that she didn’t see them as perfect. She was able to critique Ladybug in full, which seemed pretty odd considering the rest of Paris seemed to have nothing but glowing praise for the heroine. “You’ve had some awful luck with akumas yourself. Weird how Ladybug didn’t show up when you got kidnapped by Evillustrator. One of the only times she didn’t show up for an akuma.”
“And what happened to the other heroes? It’s mostly Ladybug now. She must be in an awful state with her civilian life.” He looks off to the park, occasionally flicking his attention back Marinette’s face, evaluating her expression.
She catches his eyes and he swiftly looks away, looking almost nervous. Marinette stiffens. He knows, he knows, he knows, he can’t know. But how? How does he know that she’s Ladybug? She hasn’t let anything slip around him. She's been careful not to. Everything she’s ever said about Ladybug has been brief and curt, taking on an almost angry tone.
“If you’re so interested in Parisian heroes, I’m sure you saw the press conference Ladybug and Chat Noir gave last year about why the other heroes would be showing up less often.” Marinette keeps her voice carefully neutral. She needs to play this safe. She’s probably over reacting-- she’s been on edge with Hawkmoth sending out an akuma attack nearly every single day for the past few months.
Damian shakes his head. “It didn’t seem like good reasoning. Ladybug and Chat Noir are too untrained. They haven’t beat two villains in three years. They should let someone else take over.” 
Marinette has come across a good number of Ladybug and Chat Noir haters throughout her time. Those who dislike the Parisian heroes often make the exact same arguments Damian is now. That they’re not fast enough. That they should have taken down Hawkmoth and Mayura already. This is nothing new to her, though it does hurt hearing it from Damian, for some reason. She can’t even argue with most of the points he’s brought up. Going mostly solo was because of her own, selfish reasons. She really should have beaten Hawkmoth and Mayura by now. 
“The only thing they have going for them right now is that they’re keeping their Miraculous out of Hawkmoth’s hands.” She pretends that the reason why Chat Noir doesn’t show up to battle is to ensure that Hawkmoth can’t get both of the Miraculous in one fell swoop. It feels hopeless to fight villain after villain without any movement forwards. Her mind wanders to the increasing frequency of akumas and smiles, sardonically. “Some people think it’s only a matter of time until Ladybug and Chat Noir lose.”
“Hawkmoth almost seems to be the better strategist.” The two of them pass store front after store front. “Do you ever wonder what they look like, under the mask? Who they are?”
Marinette stares at the concrete underneath her feet. Hawkmoth, the better strategist? Laughable, and entirely incorrect. Even the people who hate Ladybug admit that her plans almost always work out, and that her plans are second to none. Really the only person who can possibly think that Hawkmoth is a better strategist is--
She can’t think like that. Damian is her friend. He’s just curious about Paris. Her lack of sleep and increase in paranoia re making her imagine things that are impossible. Besides, Damian isn’t on her list of suspects-- he told her he’s only been here for a short time, and Hawkmoth’s Miraculous definitely has a limited range. It’s a real pity that the world of Miraculous makes concrete evidence hard to come by, otherwise, Marinette likes to think Hawkmoth would have been behind bars already. 
“No,” she lies. Hawkmoth haunts her dreams and every waking hour. She spends hours and hours on theories and scouring out information and people who fit the clues she’s painstakingly pieced together. “Not really.”
Damian’s eyes are a piercing green, and for a moment, Marinette thinks she stops breathing. “Is that so? I’m really interested in who Ladybug is under the mask. I’d love the opportunity to talk to her in person, especially about her Miraculous. The powers she has are… very interesting.”
No. There’s no way that Damian can be Hawkmoth, right? This is all just her paranoia speaking. Damian is just a foreigner who is interested in super heroes. It’s no biggie. Still, she can’t shake off the idea that there’s more to Damian than meets the eye. The way he walks-- no, prowls-- commands respect. Marinette can tell that he knows how to fight, and knows how to fight well. He’s very good at finding information on people-- she sent a whole case file to her on Renee and his situation with his mother within twenty four hours of going into the precinct, complete with video evidence Marinette knows should have been impossible to procure without hacking-- and keeps up with her critiques on Ladybug and Chat Noir’s techniques like he’s watched their battles over and over again. He remembers akuma battles Marinette has half forgotten, because they happened so long ago.
She stares up at him, hands shoved in the pockets of the jacket she chose for him when they went on their wardrobe makeover. Damian is surprisingly wealthy; he purchased anything she even glanced at with passing approval. He looks straight forward, apparently waiting for some response from her. Just because Damian is her friend, doesn’t mean she can immediately expunge him from her list of suspects. So far, she has taken all of Damian’s words at face value. It didn’t matter to her that he rarely talks about his family or his life before Paris. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t brought her to his home during all of the weeks that they’ve been hanging out together. Really, Marinette just figured that he had a rocky relationship with his family, and that he may have been on the poorer side and was embarrassed to show her where he lived. But clearly. Damian is well off enough to afford brand name clothes without batting an eye. Things aren’t adding up. All of the red flags that she’s blatantly ignored start to crop up in her head.
The book on the species of butterflies that akumas are made of, tucked under his arm. The way he showed up after every single akuma attack when she rarely saw him in the area before or during it. His knowledge of the three languages that form the basis of the Miraculous Tome-- Mandarin, Arabic, and English.
If he is Hawkmoth, what sort of emotions would he be feeling right now? Some sort of euphoria, maybe, realizing that he could get infinitely closer to Ladybug when she is Marinette. Anticipation, too. Has Marinette been hanging out with a super villain for the past month? Has she really come to the point where she can call a supervillain her best friend?
Marinette takes another look at Damian’s outfit. Master Fu said that the Miraculous Hawkmoth owns is in the shape of a brooch. Marinette sees no such object on Damian, which could either mean that he’s not Hawkmoth or that he’s just been taking it off whenever he’s with her. She’s really hoping it’s not the second option.
She needs to gather her thoughts, make a plan on how to proceed. When she’s sure that Damian isn’t looking, Marinette sets off the ringtone that is saved for her Maman’s texts and calls. This catches Damian’s attention, and she waves looks up from her phone as though she’s responding. 
“Maman wants me to do a delivery. If you’re looking for more information on the whole superhero situation in Paris, I can get you Alya’s number. She runs the Ladyblog-- I’m sure she’d be glad to talk with you.” Alya also has some of the worst conspiracy theories that Marinette has ever seen. She doesn’t often keep abreast of what the Ladyblog’s portrayal of Ladybug is, but back when Marinette and Alya were friends, she was subjected to wild theories that made her stomach nauseous with how little logic there was. Which means that if-- if-- Damian is actually Hawkmoth, he might be thrown off by what she says.
“I’ll see you on Monday? Jagged texted me last night and wants me to change the embroidery on his commission.” This isn’t exactly a lie; Jagged wants one of the smaller details to be changed, but it certainly won’t take as long as she’s suggesting. Marinette hopes that it’s enough of an excuse to get Damian off her back for the rest of today and tomorrow while she reevaluates her game plans and life choices. 
Damian waves her off. “I don’t think that Ladyblogger girl knows anymore than I do. She’s of no help to me. I’ll see you on Monday.”
#
Marinette’s reaction to Damian’s questions are weird. There’s an underlying tension that she exuded before they parted ways, and he’s still thinking about it a day later.
Marinette, who he always finds near an akuma attack right after it occurs. Marinette, who is emotionally and physically superior to most other Parisians. Marinette, who hasn’t been akumatized in a class full of idiots and other victims. Marinette, who doesn’t like Ladybug even though she seems like a fairly competent and kind hero, despite the fact that she hasn’t caught Hawkmoth yet. Marinette, who rarely talks about akumas despite all of the time he spends with her, which is highly unusual because even people he only briefly meets manage to slip in something about akumas into the conversation. Damian feels like there must be some sort of connection between Marintte and the akuma situation that he’s not getting, but it’s eluding him.
He sits down with his laptop in his apartment and looks up information about Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She’s definitely just as talented as he suspected; in her ninth year of schooling, she won a Gabriel competition, participated in a music video of Clara Nightingale’s, and collaborated with Jagged Stone on an album cover. So that was how she met him-- he wondered, but never asked. There are also a few instagram posts that have tagged her as a good samaritan and a few articles that detail a small, asian girl who’s going around Paris helping random people that are in need.
The weird things that Damian finds are contained in her school records. She’s apparently in very good company with her IQ, but what’s more interesting is all the dates that she is tardy or absent from school. They line up perfectly with all of the dates that akumas appear. He feels dread gather in his stomach. 
A few more searches seem to cement his growing suspicions. Around the same time that Marinette obtained a truce with Lila matched up with when theorists believed that the Italian girl started working with Hawkmoth. He reads the instagrams and tweets of her classmates from the first year that Hawkmoth arrived, which talk about how excellent Marinette is at calming them down and guiding them to a better place. He also reads the posts of Chloe Bourgeois and Alya Cesaire and the articles about Marinette and Evillustrator that tell a slightly different story-- that Marinette is capable of manipulating others into more unpleasant situations.
Damian jolts. There is an incoming call from his father. 
“Are updates on Paris, Damian?” 
Should he give them a clue to his growing suspicions that Marinette is Hawkmoth? No, he can’t tell them until he gathers more information. 
“No,” he says. “Information about Hawkmoth and the Miraculous are hard to come by.”
There’s a sigh and what sounds like the rustling of papers from the other side. “I figured. Tim and Barbara can’t find anything over here, either, but the Justice League is worried. They want results.”
“The Justice League and I agreed that having Robin make an appearance would be beneficial. Gain Ladybug and Chat Noir’s trust, or find Hawkmoth. Information might come easier with your alter ego.”
“All right.” 
Another pause. He and his father have always had an awkward relationship. Bruce didn’t know of his existence until he was ten, and by that time, the most formative years of Damian’s life had already passed. Bruce Wayne may be many things, but good at dealing with children, he is not. Even after adopting so many children, he doesn’t know how to raise a child. Damian and his brothers have all raised themselves, with Bruce only stepping in when one of them is really going off the rails.
“Is everything else going well in Paris? School is good?”
“School is fine.” Damian wonders whether he should tell his father about Marinette. About the girl who is kind and capable and scarily efficient at dispatching criminals for a citizen and-- he can’t think about her like that. He decides against telling his father about her. She might be Hawkmoth, after all, and confirming her existence to his father means that he’s denying that possibility. “Gotham?”
“Nothing out of the usual. A few run-ins with the Joker.”
Another silence. The lapses in conversation aren’t awkward, but Damian thinks of the playful banter Marinette has with her parents and frowns. 
“Goodbye, Father.”
“Goodnight, Damian.”
Damian looks around at his empty apartment. There is nothing in it, except for his suitcase and a few pieces of furniture. It’s nothing like the manor, where he knows that Tim is up at all hours slaving away on another project that Damian rarely gets to see, or that Jason is in the training room with Dick joining him occasionally. He can’t pick a fight with Tim or have Dick try to mediate the conflicts between himself and Jason. No nightly patrols with three or four people talking over the comms, or near instantaneous backup when he gets into a tight spot. There is no Alfred or Barbara or Cassandra or Bruce here. Only Damian. 
He looks down at his laptop, at the various information and images of Marinette that he has up on his screen. In good conscience, he can’t continue being friends with her. Not with the possibility that she is the person he’s trying to hunt down. 
He remembers her saying that being lonely is different than being alone. 
Damian is lonely.
#
Patrol is a necessary evil. 
Ladybug doesn’t hate patrol. She’s not very fond of it, though. It cuts into time that she could be spending sleeping or designing or anything else, really. In the beginning, it started as a way to figure out how everything worked under the guise of the dark and without the constant threat of an akuma hanging over head. Then, it progressed into disproving the theory about Ladybug’s age, because civilians aren’t inclined to believe that a teenage girl who has school the next day would patrol every day in the early morning. Now, it shows the Parisians how devoted Ladybug is-- that’s something that she’s struggled with ever since withdrawing the Miraculous from all of the part time heroes-- and lets Marinette blow off any steam that she has. 
Right now, Marinette needs to blow off a lot of steam. Still, even as Ladybug, as much as Marinette wants to scream to high hell and back about how she’s been friends-- very close friends, she’d dare to say-- with the same person who has been terrorizing Paris for years, she can’t. If she screams, there will be media coverage on it, and she doesn’t want to deal with what the press would write up some article about how Ladybug was overworked and needed to bring back the other heroes, or that Ladybug wasn’t mentally sound enough to take care of Paris, she should just give up the Miraculous, or that Ladybug’s scream was [insert some poetic nonsense that English teachers wax about for hours even though the author never intended the audience to read that deeply into it].
Marinette doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s gotten close to Damian. She’s as close to him as she is with Kagami, Luka, Jagged and Penny. Damian knows that she’s MDC. He knows her hopes and aspirations. He knows her family, knows the majority of her friends, and knows what’s important to her. It will be so easy for him to tear her apart now. Marinette isn’t sure what Hawkmoth is waiting for, but she almost hopes that he’ll get it over with sooner rather than later.
What will Hawkmoth do first? Go after the website that he helped her make, probably. Cut off the financial support that she could use to run away and create another identity. Then, he’ll go after her friends, few and far as they may be. Renee next. Her family, last. She wonders who Mayura is, if he is Hawkmoth. She hasn’t seen anyone that’s close to him. Then again, Damian reveals next to nothing about himself. She’s never even seen where he lives.
There’s a shadow on the rooftops. 
God, of course Hawkmoth would send out an akuma today. He knows how horrible her mental state must be. There’s no way he wouldn’t take advantage of that.
She yoyos over to the shadow, not close enough to strike or apprehend, but close enough to easily give chase without the akuma being able to give her the slip.
“Ladybug,” the akuma says.
“Cut the crap. We all know you want the Miraculous, Hawkmoth. Let’s get to it.” The shadow steps forward where a street lamp illuminates its costume, and once again, she is assaulted by the barrage of colors on her eyes. After seeing how awful Damian’s color coordination was, it’s easy to come to terms with the awful designs of all of his costumes. Still, she’s surprised that the boy who dresses in the same outfit every day creates such outlandish costumes for all of his minions. 
The akuma frowns, tenses. 
“I’m not Hawkmoth,” it insists. “I’m Robin, a vigilante from Gotham. I’ve come to learn more about the current situation and aid you in taking Hawkmoth down.”
 Ladybug scoffs. She’s not sure what this akuma’s tactic is, but none of the others have tried to lie to her so blatantly about their identity. And ripping off an identity? That is a new low, even for Hawkmoth. She’s sure that the real Robin didn’t agree to this, and if she were close with the vigilante, maybe she could get him to throw a lawsuit or two at Hawkmoth once he was in custody, just for kicks.
Robin the akuma scrambles, apparently looking for something that can verify his identity. 
Ladybug strikes. There’s no pride in striking an opponent when they are distracted, but it’s a means to an end. If Damian is dumb enough to send out an akuma confused about its identity tonight of all nights-- a night where Ladybug is distressed and it would be all too easy to take advantage of her-- then she’s going to take advantage of it.
It’s easy to bind the akuma. Startlingly easy. The akuma is different tonight, then. His powers have something to do with close contact, maybe? Ladybug looks on his person for things that could be the point of akumatization, eyes flitting from Robin’s waistband to his mask.
She comes to an unpleasant conclusion. The measurements and the coloring are a perfect match. Hawkmoth has come to meet her in person.
“Damian,” Ladybug hisses. 
Damian’s eyes widen, like he doesn’t know how she’s pieced together his identity. How stupid does he think she is? He’s been dropping hints constantly. Information a transfer to Paris shouldn’t know. Never telling Marinette anything personal. Always being near an akuma attack when it happens. It’s almost like he wanted her to figure out his identity.
“How did you know?” 
“Please, Hawkmoth, did you really think that Marinette couldn’t connect the dots? You must have thought awfully little of her if you thought that your constant appearances near all of the akuma and questions about the Miraculous didn’t lead me to your identity.”
“Hawkmoth? Ladybug, I’m not Hawkmoth, I’m Robin.”
“And I’m the queen of England. Renounce your Miraculous now, Hawkmoth. Or I’ll beat you until you detransform and take it from you.” 
Damian looks confused before his face contorts to an expression of resignation. He recognizes a cold fury in her eyes that is distinct to people who won’t give up until they get their way, and there’s really no other way around this right now. He should have brought his comm with him, but he wasn’t expecting to meet Ladybug tonight; he just wanted to assess the situation as Robin, to get out from his apartment for a second. Rookie mistake. 
True to her word, Ladybug beats Damian unconscious and also until he’s black and blue. She’ll be lying if she didn’t say she took out some of her fury from the past years on him.
But here’s the thing; Damian doesn’t detransform. He stays in his god-awful costume that has the same disgusting shade of mustard yellow as that one top Damian owns. That’s not what’s supposed to happen. When Miraculous users faint, they detransform because it takes a sort of mental awareness to handle the powers bestowed upon them. Is it different because Damian is an akuma? Is there some sort of Miraculous bylaw that if a Miraculous user gets akumatized, they get to stay in their alternate form? Oh wait, that’s right, he’s an akuma, not Hawkmoth right now.
Ladybug stumbles forward, breaking all of the weapons that are on his belt, taking off his mask and breaking that as well. No akuma comes out. She tries his gloves, then his boots. She pats him down, seeing if there’s anything she missed. She rips his suit, too. Nothing. There’s no brooch in his personal effects either.
What is she supposed to do now? 
Seeing no alternative, Ladybug picks Damian up and yoyos back to Tom and Sabine’s Boulangerie to safely detransform and figure out what the fuck is going on.
He’s not Hawkmoth, is the conclusion Marinette comes to after a side by side comparison of pictures of the vigilante and Damian. The horrifying conclusion: the person lying on the floor of her bedroom is actually Robin, the vigilante from Gotham. 
Marinette knows it’s better to err on the side of caution, but she still buries her head in her hands in embarrassment. How can she have gotten him so wrong? She really needs to get better at reading people, because deciding that random civilians are Hawkmoth clearly has not paid off. 
She also cannot believe that the Justice League has decided to step in now, and with a sidekick from America, of all things--Marinette is pretty sure that she sent the videos to the European branch. It must have been three years since her first notification to them. She contacted them immediately after Stoneheart, and again, after Syren when she was distraught at the death that surrounded her. With no response, there was nothing she could do. She has to start relying on herself and her own skills. 
Ladybug only contacted them once more, after Heroes’ Day. At that point, Ladybug had been thinking for a while that someone who was naturally superpowered or someone with a high grade of intelligence-- like the heroes affiliated with the Justice League-- would do more harm than good if they were allowed in the city. After the devastation of her teammates being akumatized, and the nearly week long battle that ensued, she was certain that she could barely fight her teammates, let alone trained professionals. So with shaky hands and red rimmed eyes, she said to please disregard her earlier messages; the situation in Paris wasn’t that bad, and Ladybug could handle it. 
Damian groans. Marinette jumps; he is waking up far earlier than she anticipated. She wants to transform back into Ladybug. Being in her spots gives her a pseudo sense of security. First, though, she has to restrain him. Even though he isn’t Hawkmoth, she’s not sure whether he’s a threat or not. She makes quick work of it, using the thickest zip ties that she has on hand and restraining his arms and legs.
She doesn’t get the chance to transform back into Ladybug, but that’s just as well, because at the end of the day, Marinette is the foundation of anything that makes Ladybug a hero to the public. Damian opens his eyes almost immediately after she has finished restraining him, taking in his surroundings and the person in front of him.
“Marinette? Where’s Ladybug?” No questions of how he got there; Ladybug can clearly carry her own weight and more. No questions as to why there are zip ties cutting into his wrists and ankles; he has seen too many of Marinette’s victims on the streets.
“What do you mean, where’s Ladybug?” Marinette is right in front of him. She might not have the suit on, but at the end of the day, she does have the Ladybug Miraculous, which means she’s Ladybug through and through, and Damian must know that. Otherwise, there’s no real reason for Robin to be spending so much time with Marinette. The fact that she feels more real and true to herself as Marinette than as Ladybug probably means nothing to him.
“She knocked me out on a rooftop. Didn’t know that you two knew each other personally. I’m not Hawkmoth, by the way.” He twitches, then realizes that he’s been tied up. “Why’d she leave me with you?”
So he doesn’t know that she’s also Ladybug? This whole thing keeps getting more confusing. Still, the less people that know about her alter ego, the better. Marinette will keep him in the dark. She attributes his blatant misunderstanding to the identity concealment magic of the Miraculous. It’s powerful stuff. If it didn’t exist, she’s sure she would have found concrete evidence as to who Hawkmoth is by now. 
“She asked me to assess whether you were a threat or not. Whether or not she casts the Miraculous Cure is contingent on my response.”
“Ladybug wants you to assess whether I’m a threat or not? Why’d she leave a possible super villain with a civilian?”
“I help Ladybug out with many things.” Her voice turns to clinical detachment. She uses this method to dissociate as Ladybug when things get overwhelming. Assess the situation. Get in, deakumatize, get out. Marinette needs to distance herself. It’s bad enough that the situation is this convoluted, but she doesn’t need Damian to doubt Ladybug’s capabilities as well. “Ladybug knows that you’re not Hawkmoth now, and she knows that I can handle myself with any run of the mill bad guy, even if they are a supposed vigilante.”
“Tell me, Robin,” Marinette spits the name like a curse, “Why should I tell Ladybug that you’re not a threat? That you are who you say you are?”
In all honesty, all Marinette wants to do is knock Damian out again so she can collect her thoughts. She’s not sure how she should address his presence as Robin in Paris and is still reeling from the whiplash of thinking he was Hawkmoth only for him to turn into a foreign vigilante. Next thing she knows, he’ll tell her that his name isn’t even Damian Grayson. Well, now that she thinks about it, he’s definitely not. After this encounter finishes, she’ll look up Damian and Gotham and see what she gets.
He looks flustered, like he never expected anybody to question his identity or presence. It’s laughable, really. Marinette doubts that the Justice League actually sent him; he’s probably here to explore on his own. That means he’ll only be a pain in the ass to deal with. Maybe she needs to get into contact with the Justice League again, if only just so she can deport Robin with more ease. 
“I can call Batman,” he says.
Marinette doesn’t think this is a very good solution. There’s no way for her to prove that the person on the other side actually is Batman and not some actor. But after racking her brain, she can’t come up with a much better solution. It’s not like Robin has any superpowers that she can request to see, and she doesn’t have a direct line to anybody from the Justice League.
“Fine. Call Batman.”
“It’s in the pocket near on my right side.” Marinette doesn’t bother going closer to him. She destroyed everything on him earlier, in case it was the akuma’s vessel. Ladybug thought she came across a phone, but now she’s glad she smashed it and left it on that random rooftop. He probably has some sort of tracker on his phone. In any case, Marinette thinks it’s weird for a vigilante to have a phone on them while on the rooftops. Shouldn’t he have an earpiece or something? 
“Your phone was destroyed by Ladybug. Tell me the number to call. I’ll put it on speaker.” Marinette isn’t sure if the number he’ll have her call will be some sort of secure connection or direct line that is only accessible through Damian’s phone, but she doesn’t particularly care because the Miraculous Communicators are exactly that. Miraculous. Master Fu assured her that all communications were private and impossible to crack unless they also had a Miraculous. Which is why she’s using the Miraculous Communicator to call Batman.
Damian winces, then speaks into the offered phone. 
“Batman, it’s Robin. I need to verify my identity in order to proceed.”
“Are you with Ladybug?”
So he is on a mission, then, and not just playing hooky. If Batman is involved, Marinette has no doubt the rest of the Justice League will follow soon. This will be a dreadfully unpleasant call.
“I’m making it a video call,” Marinette says. “And no, he’s not with Ladybug. I’m Ladybug’s point of contact, and she doesn’t take kindly to people encroaching on her territory without permission.”
“Robin, what happened?” Batman isn’t accepting her video request.
Marinette cuts off whatever Damian is about to say. “Damian was suspicious; I reported his activities to Ladybug and she believed that he could be Hawkmoth. Then, she caught him on the roofs and took him back to my place after verifying that he wasn’t Hawkmoth. Video call, Batman. I’d like to see that you are who you say you are, before I send Robin back to the states.”
“She knows your civilian identity? Two people know that you’re Robin?”
“Turn your video on. If you can’t prove that you are who Damian says you are, Ladybug and I will do everything in our powers to deport him and make sure that the Justice League is not allowed in Paris again. Ladybug said that she doesn’t need any unknowns in her city, and I’ve been hoping Robin came here of his own volition. It sounds like that isn’t the case.”
Marinette thinks that Batman curses in English, but she’s not sure. Fluent though Marinette may be, she is not well versed in curses, colloquialisms, or American memes. The camera turns on. It’s Batman, or at the very least, an actor wearing a very good knock off costume.
It’s annoying that Marinette can’t see his eyes. There’s some white film where his eyes should be, and the fact that his cowl covers more than half of his face isn’t doing her any favors in letting her read his facial expression. She moves herself so that Batman can see both her and Robin.
“Why is Robin restrained?”
“Like I said: he was suspicious. I’m not taking any chances.”
A moment of silence.
“How do you want me to prove my identity?” 
That’s good. He’s not asking who she is, though she’s sure that there are cameras pointing at the screen on Batman’s end, running facial analysis and background checks on her. The Miraculous magic will ensure that any connections between her and Ladybug will not come to light. Other than her identity as Ladybug, Marinette has nothing to hide.
“If you’re Batman, then you should have access to the League’s calls, European and otherwise. Play me the last video that Ladybug sent you. I know what she said.” She spares a glance at Damian. His jaw is tight, but when he looks at her, she finds what looks like regret. It’s not entirely Damian’s fault. A mission is a responsibility, and Marinette understands that in order to be a hero or vigilante, one must be willing to do anything to accomplish the mission. Really, she’s only Ladybug because she feels that heavy weight of the words duty and responsibility on her shoulders. Fu’s fault.
“Behave. If you try something, I’ll knock you out.” Marinette sets the communicator on her desk and eyes him. The zipties are so tight around his arms and legs that he is bleeding. Marinette feels a flash of sympathy, then pushes it away. It was his fault for-- why was he at fault, again? 
“I have the video.” Batman sounds even peakier than when they started the call. He plays the video.
“Justice League. This is Ladybug. I rescind my requests for help; I can take care of Paris with my own team. Any help from you at this point would be a detriment and could potentially harm the citizens of Paris. Hawkmoth manipulates strong emotions, and I don’t need to handle a metahuman or tactical genius to gain more power to wreak havoc on my city. I will not contact you with any further requests for assistance.”
It’s an awful video. Marinette had to wait a day after the Heroes’ week fiasco just so her eyes wouldn’t be red. At least her voice doesn’t waver in it. There’s a conviction in the whole video that was unique to that moment. 
Marinette looks at Batman, then at Robin. 
“Clearly the Justice League refused to listen. Ladybug doesn’t want or need your help at this point in time. Why are you here?”
“The Justice League is at fault for not paying attention to Ladybug’s other videos. But Mayor Bourgeois and President Macron can only cover such alarming incidents for so long. Ladybug and her… team clearly need help in order to find and take down Hawkmoth, so once the American branch of the Justice League found out half a year ago, we started to investigate.” Batman speaks in lieu of Damian. Marinette briefly wonders if Damian knows who Batman is under the mask. She bets he does. They’re probably close, what with how worried Batman sounds. 
“What makes you think that the Justice League is any better equipped to handle this situation? Ladybug and her team have been fighting for the past three years and resolved every akuma with no help from you. She needed your help in earlier years. Now she doesn’t.”
“Exactly; it’s been three years and she still hasn’t caught Hawkmoth.”
“You say that like the Justice League doesn’t have a team with more wealth and manpower than Ladybug does that’s been looking into Hawkmoth and the Miraculous for the past half year and clearly has not found any reasonable leads. Ladybug has only been actively looking for Hawkmoth for the past two years, not three. The police handled the first year, not that you’ve done any homework on the situation. Thought that a field agent would help your chances?” 
There is fire in Marinette’s stomach. Batman sounds so dismissive of all of the work that she’s been doing. It’s been hard on her; she doesn’t have the support that she needs and doesn’t have the experience or expertise to hunt down Hawkmoth on her own. She trained briefly under Master Fu to learn spells and ways to expand her powers as Ladybug, but that was an equivalent exchange: she no longer trusts that other holders won’t be akumatized. Her growing cynicism and physical training from Maman came at the expense of Chat Noir; after the whole Lila incident in her first year as Ladybug, she found out that Chat Noir and Adrien were one and the same. And Gabriel Agreste is not afraid to use his son until Adrien is stretched far too thin, which forced Marinette to nearly bench her partner.
“Three years,” Batman says again.
“If the Justice League can’t figure it out nearly unlimited resources and funding in half a year-- both ordinary and super human-- then clearly it isn’t a question of time. It’s a question of capability. Get off your high horse, Batman. You haven’t given me any reasons why Ladybug and I shouldn’t deport Robin here, and you’re definitely not making a good case as to why she shouldn’t go to Mayor Bourgeois and France’s president to ensure that the Justice League and its affiliates and ban hero travel into Paris. Bourgeois already doesn’t want information on it’s supervillain situation to get out.” 
“Marinette,” Damian pleads.
As Robin and as Damian, he doesn’t pose a threat. He hasn’t been helpful, but he certainly hasn’t messed with the status quo for the month that he’s been here. Still, he is a liability. If he stays in Paris, he is the gateway for the other members of the Justice League to fly in and try to commandeer the fragile balance that she has found. She can’t afford for something like that to happen.  
“You’re not any better, Robin. Why did you even hang around me? Thought I was a threat?” Her eyes narrow in realization. It makes sense why he decided to hang out with her, despite his initial cold front. He was playing a role.“You thought I was Hawkmoth.”
His silence is an agreement.
“We just want to help,” Damian says, and against her better judgement, Marinette believes him. 
Her shoulders round, and Marinette sighs. She can’t truly begrudge Damian for that train of thought, not when she believed the same about him. She’s been a little harsh on them so far, in part due to old resentment that they never responded to her in that first, awful year when she needed the help. 
There’s a dull tiredness that comes with knowing someone who she considered one of her closest friends suspected her of being a supervillain, though she did believe the same of him, so maybe they’re even. It still hurts, though. It hurts like when Alya decided that Marinette was mean-hearted enough to stop the members of their class from reaching their full potential. It hurts like when Marinette finally realized that she couldn’t repair their friendship, not to what it used to be. It hurts like when she looked around the classroom and realized that she couldn’t talk to anyone there. It hurts like when Marinette decided that she couldn’t risk helping her friends the way she wanted to. 
“What kind of help can you offer us? We don’t need any more of you to come out here.” Resources are nice. More money to fund therapy programs around town won’t hurt. Master Fu doesn’t help on that part. Really, he doesn’t help at all. Even though she has Chat Noir and had a team, she often feels like it’s herself against the world. Some days, she reaches up to her earrings and feels an aching emptiness, like there’s something more to the Miraculous that’s been sealed away.
“We can give you resources. Money, connections, experience. Robin is good with technology. He can help you track down where Hawkmoth is.”
Marinette’s laugh is bitter. “Sure, he can try, but the butterflies Hawkmoth sends out aren’t visible by the normal human eye or electronically until they’ve found their mark. Once they’re purified, they’re just normal butterflies, and they go off in random directions.”
“Normal human eye? It sounds like there are exceptions.” Damian readjusts himself. He has fidgeted his way into an uncomfortable looking seiza position, where his ankles are bleeding. 
“A true holder can see the butterflies at all times.”
Marinette also decides to throw them a bone so there’s no questions as to why a mere civilian is working with Ladybug. “That’s why Ladybug recruited me. I was Multimouse.”
Multimouse was in the file that Damian sent his father, but he asks, just to make sure. “The one that can split itself?”
“That’s correct. I guess now is as good a time as any for the two of you to get your questions answered.”
“Why are you the point of civilian contact instead of any of the other more frequently used heroes? Didn’t you appear only once?” Damian avoids looking Marinette in the eyes, and that makes her feel slightly better. He’s ashamed of his actions. Good. 
“Ladybug said that the other hero’s civilian forms were either compromised or not in a good position.”
“Ladybug knows who all the holders are.” Batman speculates. He looks less tense now that Damian is no longer tied up, but his voice remains gravelly and distrubed. Maybe that’s what he sounds like all the time.  “Who else knows? Do you?” 
“Only Ladybug knows.” Marinette lives in half truths. She’s not sure that they’re much better than lies, but they’re all she has. Secrecy is the only thing Master Fu has sincerely taught her.
“Why have all the other heroes disappeared?” 
“Ladybug said that it was too dangerous for someone who could be akumatized to hold a Miraculous. Rena Rage, Shell Shock, Queen Wasp-- they were all frighteningly powerful akumas. It’s also why Chat Noir has been showing up less and less; his home life is not the best, and she’s trying her best to ensure that he doesn’t get akumatized.”
“She’s not worried for herself or,” Damian’s eyes flick to Marinette, away from Batman. “For you?” 
“She knows that both of us are good at dealing with stress. We have our own methods of coping.” She looks at Damian, her mouth tightening into a frown. “If you want to stay in Paris, I’ll cut you a deal. We can work together for two weeks, and if we don’t get any results, you have to leave and the Justice League must promise that they won’t interfere again.”
“Two weeks isn’t enough time,” Damian objects.
“If you don’t think it’s enough time, just leave now. I’ll say now that I’m only willing to work with you during the night. That’s the time I work on Miraculous related stuff now, anyways. And stay out of the akuma battles.” She doesn’t actually think that working together will help anyways, and she wants Damian gone sooner rather than later. He’s been making her feel too much and emotions that are far more explosive and easy to take advantage of than Marinette has in a long time. She doesn’t want to be targeted by an akuma because of her inner conflict. 
“Two weeks, then,” Batman agrees. “Robin can contact me if you need any extra resources.”
Marinette hangs up and assesses Damian. He looks almost pitiful, with bruising around his eyes, tousled hair, a ripped suit, and cuts where his skin is exposed. She opens her trap door in a clear gesture for him to depart. Downstairs is dark; her Maman and Papa have long since gone to sleep, and it’s only a few more hours until they wake up to start baking. “We start tomorrow. If you need Ladybug for anything, tell me.”
He’s half way down the ladder when he looks back up at Marinette, into her eyes. 
“I’m sorry,” he says.
Marinette can’t breath. She feels like vomiting. His eyes are so green in comparison to the purple bruising on his face. She did that to him. She made him look that way. All she’s ever wanted to do as Ladybug is protect the people she cared for. But Damian-- Marinette doesn’t know. She doesn't know whether what Damian has done can actually be described as bad. He was just trying to do what Batman told him to do. Keeping an eye on a threat. Marinette wonders how long he thought she was Hawkmoth. She wonders if he ever thought they were friends. 
“I’m sorry too,” Marinette says, and shuts the trap door.
They’re both sorry for very different things.
212 notes · View notes
kanri-tea · 3 years
Text
De-aged Rei
Rei gets de-aged by an illegal mic.
“Rei? …Rei?!”
It’s… bright. You don’t understand. Just moments ago, you were curled up in the closet again, locked away because you were bad, but now you were outside, along with these two unfamiliar men peering down at you.
You curl into yourself, hugging Sen as tight as you can. You don’t know them, but you really, really hope that they’re not the bad men your father always threatens that he’d sell you to.
“I-is that little kid Rei?!”
They know your name, and that sends chills down your spine. You’re scared. You probably should answer them, but even as you grip Sen even tighter than before, you stay silent.
"Oi, oi, oi, there's no way that little kid is Rei!"
Sasara felt like screaming, or maybe just shaking the little kid that was standing where their third member was standing less than a minute ago. To the side, Rosho is panicking and working himself into a frenzy, not that Sasara could blame him. Why did those weird guys even have an illegal microphone that changed people into little kids?! Or maybe it’s time travel since Sasara was 110% sure that Rei wasn’t wearing a tiny hoodie before.
In front of the duo was a tiny little kid, maybe 5 or 6, Sasara guessed, with a worn out red-and-grey hoodie and hugging the most worn out stuffed toy – a blue cat, he thinks – that Sasara had ever seen. It’s missing a button eye and one of its ears is torn and the stuffing was spilling out.
In fact, if it weren’t for the fact that not only did little Rei look terrified of them, but the scar that Sasara had originally assumed came from the old man messing up or something was also present.
He’s like 5, Sasara thinks to himself, frowning.
Turning to Rosho, the little frown and creased eyebrows tells Sasara that he’s thinking the same thing. Baby Rei is still scared, but everyone likes jokes, right?
“Heya, kiddo,” he grins, “want to hear something funny?”
Rei stares back solemnly.
“Why did the picture go to jail?”
Silence.
“Because he was framed! Get it?”
In the background, Sasara swore he could hear the crickets chirping and Rosho facepal– wait, Rosho actually was facepalming, the meanie!
Rei hasn’t moved an inch, and ouch, tough crowd. Okay, so maybe jokes weren’t the best idea.
“There’s something wrong with his head, I swear,” Rosho is kneeling down in front of tiny Rei, pushing Sasara away, which fair enough, “do you know where you are?”
For a good minute, Sasara thought that Rosho would be answered in silence like they’d both been for the last couple of minutes, before a tiny shake of the kid’s head, indicating no, was presented.
“Okay… okay…” Sasara hears Rosho muttering to himself, “I- I’m Rosho and this is Sasara. And you are…?”
Little Rei gives them an odd look, before mumbling something into the plushie.
“Oh. Um. Sorry, could – could you repeat that, we couldn’t hear you.”
“… Don’t you already know my name?”
“Uh, er… I mean, that is…”
Sasara butts in again, covering for a now stuttering Rosho, “We do, but it’s only polite to introduce yourself, y’know!”
“… Rei.”
“Nice t’meetcha, Rei!”
He’s met with a blank stare.
“So, I bet you’re wondering why you’re here! So, uh, your parents left you with us for a while, but I swear they’ll be back soon!”
Sasara could practically hear the skepticism on Rei, but the tiny child doesn’t say anything.
“C’mon,” he mumbles to Rosho, “let’s go to your apartment…”
You don’t understand these two men, Sasara and Rosho. They’re so bad at lying that it’s almost painful.
Sasara says that your parents left you with them, but that’s such a big fat lie. There’s no way that they’d leave you with other people, not when the evidence of their abuse is so obvious. But… they’re nice. They give you food and water and try to coddle you.
You don’t understand what’s going on, not really, but you guess that they’re okay-ish since they haven’t hit you or locked you into a closet or something.
You stay quiet though, because adults are fickle, fickle beings, and you don’t want them to suddenly decide that you’re a bad child that deserves to be punished. You know that they’ve been looking at you weirdly, but you can’t distinguish what those glances mean. You’re usually better than this, but its hard to struggle when Sasara is so weird and nice and Rosho feeds you and lets you sleep on a bed with blankets and pillows.
You sleep well for the first time in ages with Sen curled up by your side while waiting for the other shoe to drop, for nothing is ever freely given, especially not kindness.
Rosho paces back and forth and from the corners of his eyes, he can see that even Sasara has a troubled expression on his face. It was now close to midnight and nearly 10 hours since Rei had been turned into a child.
And what a worrying child he was. If the bruises and handprints hadn’t been enough proof, the way that the 10-year-old (he was 10, apparently, but god, he was so small that he looked 6 or something) flinched or looked warily at them, like an enemy, was more than enough to paint an unpleasant story.
Everything felt so... wrong. Rei was supposed to be a hulking figure, confidence and sleaziness oozing off with every step, not some meek child with solemn eyes.
"So..." He hears Sasara awkwardly start, "Apparently, according to some of my contacts, its supposed to wear off on its own."
Rosho breathes a sigh of relief, "When?"
"Uh, in like a day, but some cases took longer," Sasara pauses, hesitantly adding, "and the old man won't remember anything either."
That's good, in a way, Rosho thinks, but he doubts that Rei would be happy about not knowing what Sasara and Rosho had learned about the man, as secretive as he was.
"I guess we... wait it out then?"
"Not like we have much of a choice," he hears Sasara agreeing, and with how distant his voice sounds, Rosho wondered if Sasara was thinking the same things he was, eyes drawn to the bruises and scar.
You wake up in the morning and for once, your body does not ache from sleeping on the ground nor does your stomach growl in hunger. It's an odd feeling.
Sasara and Rosho are already awake and about by the time you wake up, but they don't yell at you for being lazy. They tell you to sit down a place a plate of food in front of you. You recognize the eggs, but you think the strips oily things are bacon, but you aren't sure.
You do your best to eat as much as possible, but you've never eaten so much in the span of 24 hours in your life. You don't want them to think of you as ungrateful, whether they're your kidnappers or not. You clutch Sen tightly even as Rosho bustles around the apartment and Sasara starts telling what you assume are jokes, but you don't understand most of them.
...You know that you aren't supposed to be here. You heard them talking about microphones and deaging and other weird things that sound like magic last night. You'll probably only be here for another couple hours, a day at most, but you want to savor it. You want hold onto the warmth of Rosho patting your head, human contact that didn't end in pain. You want to hold onto the memory of Sasara's grin when he told jokes that you don't really understand. It's warm. They're warm.
This hopeful dream, you don't want it to end.
Stretching, Rei yawned before pausing.
This... was not his apartment. Actually, wasn't this Rosho's apartment? What was he doing here?
He doesn't remember drinking with the other two division members, so there weren't many possible reasons Rei could think of for why he was here.
"Yo," he greets them in the living room. They're staring at him wide-eyed and... is that pity? The hell?
"R-Rei!"
"Welcome back to the land of the living, old man!"
"Haha, pretty sure I was neither dead nor drunk, you brat."
"Rei," Rosho begins tentatively, "what's the last thing you remember?"
The last thing he remembers, huh... Hmmm... It's fuzzy, but they were in a rap battle, weren't they, Rei thinks, and the opponents had illegal mics with unknown effects. He says as much.
"Yeah, we figured," Rei hears Sasara mutter, but what exactly did that mean? Obviously he was hit by the unknown effect, but from what he could tell, something had happened and no one was fessing up.
"So," Rei leans down, "what exactly happened?"
He looks them in the eye even as they try to look away. None of them were going to leave this conversation without confessing, but if they weren't going to fess up now, Rei was going to make them fess up, and it certainly wasn't going to as nice of an experience as it would be if they confessed now.
"... We, uh," Rosho starts stuttering, doing his best not to maintain eye-contact, "you, uh. Got hit by the illegal microphones..."
"Yeah, I figured, sensei," Rei replies impatiently. Geez, what were they skirting around the topic for?
"Yougotturnedintoatenyearold."
Rei stills and turns towards Sasara. "Repeat that for me one more time, except actually comprehensible. I'm an old man y'know, these ears of mine aren't working as well as they used to."
"You... got turned into a little kid, like you were ten and had this cutest little plushie that you said was called Sen and you were super small and-"
Sasara is rambling, but only static silence filled Rei's ears. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Amayado Rei did not do vulnerability. Amayado Rei was a man with confidence, money, and strength. He was not small child who's only knew pain and misery, who equated himself as a useless existence. Amayado Rei was not that child.
"Okay, hold up," he holds his hands up to distract Sasara, to distract himself, "So you're saying that somehow I, as a 10-year-old, showed up with a toy I haven't seen in over thirty years, and was just chilling here for a bit?"
"For like a day, yeah."
Rei ignores the pitying and questioning stares from Rosho, ignores the questions that are on the tip of Sasara's tongue. He doesn't ask what happened, doesn't ask what they saw. After all, once Dotsuitare Honpo played its part in Tohoten's games, he would vanish. There was no point for attachments, even as he ignored the aching in his chest, ignored the fondness that was undoubtedly growing.
"Whelp, I've got places to be, things to do, and money to make," he grins at them, "Y'know how things are. Thanks for watching over little me, but I don't think he's going to show up again."
He walks out of the apartment even with Rosho stuttering and yelling at him, even with Sasara's suspicious stares, and oh boy, Rei really hoped he wasn't going to be nosy about this.
Amayado Rei would live his life with his head held high and unafraid for the future, unafraid of the consequences of his actions, and no one could tell him otherwise, not even the regrets that piled high at his feet or a trio of siblings that despised him.
He would survive.
18 notes · View notes
asukamood · 3 years
Text
Happy birthday Himiko!
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Genre: Wholesome (attempt at) to angst
Fandom: Boku no hero academia
Characters: Mr. Compress, Twice, Shigaraki Tomura, Himiko Toga, Dabi, Magnet and Kurogiri.
Warning(S): Mentions of death, hints at child abuse and maybe manga spoilers too.
Summary: It’s finally Toga’s birthday (07/08) and she is determined to make this day the best one in her life and to force everyone in the League of Villains to take a group picture. Some might be unwilling to do it at first but they are secretly pleased about making the youngest member of the group happy. Little do they know…
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I don’t know who is picture’s owner but I found the picture here.
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“Come on, please! It will only take a few minutes maximum I promise!”
“It’s still a no from me Toga, I don’t see the point of doing one of these ‘photo shoots’. It won’t change society’s perspective so why should we do it?”
“But it’s my birthday today and you know I’ve always wanted to do a photo group!” The now-adult woman starts swinging her arms up and down like a child whose mother just disagreed to buy them something.
“What would we even get from doing that?” Even behind the giant hand covering his face, the venom in Tomura’s tone was obvious.
“Well-“ Toga didn’t even start explaining that the blue-haired man had already taken off his gloves and chased her around the bar.
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A few hours later, the leader of the League of Villains stood in the middle of a deserted park, facing him was Toga and Kurogiri currently busy placing the camera in the right direction.
Suddenly Dabi’s annoying voice materialized a few feet away from him.
“Look at you, the oh so scary S-rank villain, being ruled around by a crazy and childish teen.” He snickers under Shigaraki’s death glare.
Compress, who was playing with cards in a nearby spot until now turned around to look at the duo. “You know Dabi if I was you I wouldn’t tease him that much, since you also agreed to participate in this group picture thing.”
Dabi blushed a little and seemed ready to punch someone. “In my defense, she had very good arguments.”
“Sure sure we believe you, you roasted chicken man.”
“The fuck did you just say?”
These two never got along, but this had to be expected considering that Dabi insulted him in their first meeting, which seemed like so long ago already. If they were left alone a few minutes more, hell, even a second more they probably would have thrown a fist but they didn’t have the time to.
“Guys it’s ready, get in the places we’ve discussed before!” Dabi and Tomura both mumbled in annoyance and unwillingly walked over their assigned spots, walking as slow as possible and making sure everyone knew they were not happy about that. Compress just stopped playing Poker with Spinner and the both of them just normally walked to the place, chatting about anything and everything on the way.
Magne sighed, putting down her weapon as she couldn’t have it during the picture, it had been a few weeks since they started to work together and Toga already knew she would swing her weapon at someone after or during the picture just for fun. Talking about her she was now bouncing happily to her spot humming in content, Twice following close behind with his costume, no matter how much she tried to, he wouldn’t take off his mask, much to her disappointment.
But that didn’t matter, today was still a good day and as Kurogiri also posed in front of the camera, she could feel her heart thumping in her chest in excitement. This was the first time she would do something normal with her friends without feeling pressured to do it and damn did that felt amazing.
The audible backward counting of the device seemed to grow louder as time passes, it was coming to an end and she was barely able to keep herself in place. Magne looked at her with an eyebrow raised, no one was humanly this excited to take a picture, what was up with her?
“3…”
“2…”
“1…”
A chorus of ‘CHEESE!’ echoed in the place as the device flashed a blinding white light on everyone’s visions, earning a few groans and these people jumped away right after the picture was taken. Toga hurried towards the camera to snatch the freshly made picture as Kurogiri shouted to be more careful with the expansive machine, she didn’t listen to him though as she was too busy examining the paper in her hands with starry eyes.
Suddenly her smile faded.
“HEY DABI WHY AREN’T YOU SMILING IN THIS?”
“I already agreed to participate in your damn picture, I am not going to smile for shit. This wasn’t part of our deal, talking about that I’m still waiting for my payment.”
“Oh whatever, I’m still going to cherish this forever!” She hugged the picture tightly with a smile, not the psychotic one, just a genuinely happy smile. The sight just made Dabi turn around, not able to look at such adorableness, Twice smiled under his mask, her happiness was contagious okay.
“Toga, if you make us do something like that ever again I swear I will disintegrate you.” Tomura hissed, starting to scratch his neck. A normal person would nod their head and run away in fear but Himiko Toga wasn’t a normal person so instead of doing that, she ran straight in Shigaraki’s arms, almost knocking him on the ground.
“Haha, thanks Tomura-kun you’re the best best friend someone could ask for!” The sudden compliment froze Shigaraki in place, no sounds came out of his mouth as he just awkwardly stood there before Toga finally released him and changed target.
“whAT THE FUCK GET OFF-“ Dabi shrieked as he got tackled hugged from behind, the cat-like girl who jumped on him giggled in amusement.
“IF YOU DON’T GET THE FUCK OFF I WILL BURN YOUR FACE OFF!” Dabi might be screaming that but he wasn’t trying to push her away, Toga noticed that and smiled brightly.
“You might be stubborn but you’re always so helpful, I’m glad that I met you!”
“Wh- I- Gh- Hh- EH-“ No coherent sentences spilled from the burnt man’s mouth.
“Are you on drugs or something?” And she was already running to Magnet by the time he had finished his sentence, also attacking her with some compliments before moving on to another person.
“I don’t know if I like her stabby phase or this genuine happy phase better, both are scary as fuck.”
“I agree with you for once.”
The rest of the day was spent with Toga just bouncing around in happiness, blushing even more than usual which everyone thought was impossible, and stabbing people left and right, but again we were talking about Himiko so this wasn’t new. It was just odd to see anyone in the League this happy, but it could only promise a good future am I right?
=======
Toga sat dully against the grey and cold wall of the cell, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her head on them. She never felt that empty since she was born and it was… odd. She overheard how the policemen were going to execute her the very next morning they planned to burn her against a heater, what a joke.
She was sure that when she was brought here, they have seen the scars on her back, that was probably what had inspired them with her execution. She turned into a young adult and the heroes and policemen stopped being ‘kind’, a few years ago she found out that they were a little more merciful with children, blaming it all on their parents but the second they turned 18 all the mercy was gone as fast as it appeared.
Her mind waltzed back to her execution.
The thought of going through that punishment again made her tear a sob through her throat and a tear rolled down her cheeks. If she doubted it, now she didn’t, the heroes never considered her and the other members of the League as human beings, just nuisances that they needed to get rid of in the most hurtful way.
As if on cue, the wounds on her back started to sting, making her fall down on the floor and hissed miserably from the pain in her wrists, did every blotch decided to hurt her now out of all times?
It hurt, a lot, and she couldn’t do anything about it, from the moment she was thrown into that cell she knew she wasn’t going to rest but she never thought it would be because of being kept awake by the agony, being chained to the cell’s wall didn’t help ease it. It made it worse since it hit a little too much close to home for her liking.
For some reason the heroes let her keep something in her pocket, why? She had no clue but she didn’t give a care, more like she couldn’t.
She hugged the group picture of the League, pressing it against her heart in an attempt to stop the tears and sobs from escaping her throat. She knew they couldn’t come to save her, she was going to be executed tomorrow and nothing could stop that. She didn’t care about dying or she thought so at least.
After years of searching and rooming in the streets, she had finally found her place in this world and they decided to take that away from her.
The fact that she would never be able to see them again hurt more than dying ever would.
==================
I have gotten the heater idea from the story called “Let’s never go home again” by MockingRed on Archive of our own.
This story is awesome and I really recommend you take a look at it if you have spare time.
If you are confused by anything or need to point out something you’re free to leave a comment.
Have an amazing day/afternoon/night.
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Discord pt 31
[Date: 20/02, 03:02 AM - 20/02, 03:56 AM GMT]
[(Re-)Introduction to Chat]
[People were jokingly threatening Crown]
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Crown: “Are you all having fun?”
Crown: “I don't much appreciate being insulted. And as you know, I have several people at my mercy.“
Crown: “You wouldn't want them to come to harm... Would you? :)”
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Chat: “Why would you punish them for something they didn't do??”
Crown: “Behave. I can make things so, so much worse for them, and for you as well.
Do you understand?”
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Chat: “More proof that Crown's a coward! He only punishes people he has control over because he doesn't have the guts to actually go after the perpetrators.”
kate (derogatory) [they/them]: “N-no... no, let's behave. We don't want our... our family hurt.”
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Knight: “Please. Be nice. Dont hurt me.”
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Chat: “Crown, don't hurt them.”
kate (derogatory) [they/them]: “Fe- Knight hasn't done anything to warrant being hurt. Please don't.”
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Knight: “Dont hurt Viscount. Please. Dont hurt Page. Stop making him mad.” “Be. Nice.”
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kate (derogatory) [they/them]: “Of course. We will be nice. We will behave.”
Viscount: “Please...”
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Chat: “Crown, please don't hurt them. If anyone's to blame here, it's me. “
Chat: “Guys, I'm sorry! This is all my fault, I instigated this.”
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Crown: “Pay no mind to Knight. Knight, as for you, why don't you go back to your document? You like it there, don't you?”
Knight: You’re right. I love my doc :) It’s very important to me. I’ll be going, then.”
Crown: “If you truly have what's best in mind for Knight and the others, you'll cease your insolence. Are. We. Clear?”
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Chat: “OH GOD CROWN MESSAGED ME”
[Chat’s username and icon now have changed.]
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Chat: “Guys. I’m scared.
I can’t let anyone get hurt. I can’t let Page anyone get hurt.
Haha. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
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Mothbo: “Chat, tell us your favorite color and ice cream. Hold on to that for now okay? Focus on good memories.”
Chat: “I like green/blue/purple, depending on the day. Chocolate coffee ice cream is my favorite.”
Chat: “My grandpa called me spontaneous and my sister said that meant impulsive. I miss them all so much. I'm a thousand miles away from anyone I can call family, but I'm glad you're here right now.”
Chat: “I'm glad you're with me, everyone. Here, at the end of all things.”
Chat: “You all have been so kind.”
[Everyone says something along the lines of “We are always here for you” and start expressing concern when Chat stops responding.]
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Chat: “don’t worry. i’m still here”
kate (derogatory) [they/them]: “Good, good. Keep talking to us if you can”
Lynn (they/them): “good. please don't stop talking to us if you can manage”
Chat: “yeah, yeah, I will”
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Page: “What’s going on
What happened”
[Everyone says something along the lines of “Max my beloved.”]
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Page: “I was gone for like 2 minutes Is everything okay? What happened?”
[People are trying to explain to Max that he was taken by Crown.]
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Knight, Page, and Viscount: “:)” [Multiple times]
[Everyone says something like “oh no”]
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Knight: “Big smiles, everyone. :)”
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[jayyyyyyyy: “viscount can you remember anything from yesterday?”
Viscount: “I,.,,
dont know.
what you mean...” (Morse: YES)
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Page: “:)”
Chat: “Hello, everyone! It's so nice to finally meet you all here!”
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[kate (derogatory) [they/them]: “chocolate coffee ice cream”]
Chat: “That sounds interesting! What are those, though?”
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[jayyyyyyyy: “Yesterday you told us that if your memory got wiped, you wanted us to remind you. This is me reminding you.”]
Viscount: “I,.,,
dont know.
what you mean...” (Morse: YES)
Chat: “My name is Chat!”
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Chat: “What? Crown's so nice! I asked if I could be here and now I am!”
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Page: “Hello Chat!”
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jayyyyyyyy: “hey, chat, can you show us what crown told you?”
Chat: “"Haha! Someone once told me that friends don't share things without permission, so I won't. You're all being very weird.”
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Page: “Yes Chat that’s! Unless Crown gives permission you can’t tell others!”
Chat: “That's what I thought!!”
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Knight: “A new friend? Hello, Chat!”
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[jayyyyyyyyy: “maybe give them subconscious memory of it”]
Viscount: “Dots and dashes..
look.,. So. Lovely,, don’t. You,, agree,...
.
.-.” (Morse: I REMEMBER)
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Page: “Crown can help! They’re really fun and kind!”
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Knight: “You all sound very sad. :( I'm sorry if you are.”
[Knight: “They look rather odd, Vis. Why don't you just use one or the other.”]
Viscount: “Ah of course Knight. You’re right. :)”
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Lynn (they/them): “We’re happy! All smiles, see? :)”
Knight: “You always just sound sad?”
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Knight: “You were sad about us earlier. I can promise we are fine! :) don't worry Mona :) Your friends are safe :)”
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Page: “You all seem really sad today? It's smile day you gotta smile :)”
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deantransgressions2 · 3 years
Text
8x23 sacrifice
#1: “which pretty much means that you’re our bitch” (said to crowley)
time tag: 10:41
#2: sam: “i have no clue what to say now” (about confession) 
dean: “well, i mean, i could give you suggestions if you want.” 
sam: “o-okay. yeah. sure.”
dean: “all right. well, i’m just spitballing here, but if i were you, uh...ruby, killing lilith, letting lucifer out, losing your soul, not looking for me when i went to purgatory, for starters.”
sam: “thanks.” 
why did dean offer to give sam suggestions? what possessed him to think sam would ever wanted him to?
time tag: 13:54
#3: dean: “or, hey, h-how about what you did to penny markle in the 6th grade? why don’t you lead with that?”
sam: “well, that was you” 
ok. remember how i said in the s5 episodes how dean always shifts blame onto other people, so he doesn’t have to deal with his own guilt? yeah, here’s an extreme case of that. also, wtf did he do to penny?
time tag: 15:00
#4: “now, if anyone needs a chaperone while doing the heavy lifting, it’s sam.” 
what did he say in the last episode? what. did. he. say. ill tell you :) 
“over the past couple of months, i’ve seen him do crap that i didn’t even think was possible...there’s not a doubt in my mind that he’s gonna cross that finish line. not one.”
so what is the truth? who fucking knows.
time tag: 18:03
#5: tells sam that if he is not back in 8 hours, to finish the trials. very odd behavior. why does sam have to wait around for dean? if sam wants to cure a demon before lunch, then hurray! bc it’s his own decision, not deans.
time tag: 18:15
#6: tells kevin, who is clearly exhausted and mentally drained, to “translate. that’s what you do”. as if kevin is their slave and not an 19 year old kid. 
time tag: 19:51
#7: “you did a lot of damage up there, man.” (said to cas, for no reason)
time tag: 23:01
#8: dean having an existential crisis at the realization that gay people are real. 
time tag:  24:18
#9: tried, and succeeded to get sam to stop the trials. dean has been saying all season how sam isn’t strong enough to complete the trials. how he can’t be trusted. but in the end, it’s dean who can’t complete the trials, huh?
time tag: 35:40
-----------okay i’m gonna pick apart the speech bit by bit and make each section a different transgression because there is a lot wrong with it, all for various reasons. ------------
#10: sam: “so?” and dean is shocked as if he isn’t the #1 person responsible for making sam feel this way...
time tag: 35:57
#11: “think about what we know, huh? pulling souls from hell, curing demons, hell, ganking a hellhound” he never does any of these three things ever again after this. 
time tag: 37:28
#12: sam: “you can barely do it with me. i mean, you think i screw up everything i try. you think i need a chaperone, remember?”
dean: “come on, man. that’s not what i meant.”
sam: “no, it’s exactly what you meant. you wanna know what i confessed in there? what my greatest sin was? it was how many times i let you down. i can’t do that again.”
dean: “sam-”
sam: “what happens when you’ve decided i can’t be trusted again? i mean, who are you going to turn to next time instead of me? another angel, another..another vampire? do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your own brother just...” 
all the reasons why sam wants to kill himself, dean put in his head. look back at 8x01 and see how happy sam was. how healthy he was. now watch this. 
time tag: 37:35
#13: “hold on! hold on! you seriously think that?” uh yeah. you literally told him this not 8 hours ago....
time tag: 38:23 (use this time tag for all below)
#14: “because none of it..none of it is true.” so why does he say it? all the time?
time tag: ^
#15: “look, i know we’ve had our disagreements, okay? hell, i know i’ve said some junk that set you back on your heels” odd way to say suicidal
time tag: ^
#16: “but, sammy....come on. i killed benny to save you. i’m willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that i would put in front of you. it has never been like that, ever! i need you to see that. i’m begging you!.” 
hey, do you guys remember when dean was gonna let sam die alone just because he had an addiction? haha yeah. good times....amnesia is my only explanation for this. 
time tag: ^
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