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asukamood · 28 days

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Together [2] (fmaa2)

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Previous part — Next part

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Warnings: Mentioned physical abuse (here disguised as self-harm), self-harm (cutting), eating disorder (anorexia), psych ward setting (with patient mistreatment), very strongly implied depression, light description of injuries, blood, violence, forceful eating, distorted body image

Synopsis: Group activity had been even worse than Blue had imagined, but the fact literally every other patient and even the nurse looked like they hated this moment as much as he did, at least made it a little better.

But now he had to face an even more unpleasant event: dinner.

***

Group activity had been even worse than Blue had imagined, but the fact literally every other patient and even the nurse looked like they hated this moment as much as he did, at least made it a little better.

But now he had to face an even more unpleasant event: dinner.

Just the thought of eating any food right now made him sicker than anything, his throat already going dry as Hacker led him to the cafeteria. He was not quite sure what he was supposed to expect from the facility, but he was positive that whatever it was they were planning was not going to enchant him one bit.

Not only that but he would have a tough time hiding from Theodore, one of the real reasons why he would be interned here. He liked to think that he was a good actor, but there was only so much one could hide.

He dreaded the pitiful look he was sure to be given once he found out.

He was fine. He did not need help.

He was in control of the situation.

He dragged his feet to the counter behind Theodore, the latter seeming oblivious to the raging tide taking place in his roommate’s head as they walked.

Just as it was about to be their turn, Blue caught a member of the staff looking in their direction before speedwalking toward them. He stopped in front of Theodore, who had to look up to meet the person’s eyes.

“Can I help you?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as the other patients stopped their discussion, some even stepping a bit further away from the psych tech who just arrived. If Theodore looked neutral, Blue did not miss the subtle tremble in his shoulders as he spoke.

“You are Theodore Bradford, are you not?” He stared back at the boy, his gaze piercing.

He did not even wait for the other to confirm the assumption before he continued. “Follow me, we are going to have to take some more of your blood.”

Theodore frowned, glancing at Blue for a second, before he turned back to him. “Can it not wait for a few minutes? It’s di--”

He gave a pained cry as the taller man suddenly grabbed him by his wrist, the teenager’s other hand gripping the man’s arm as he desperately tried to get him off. As a response, the staff member only squeezed his arm harder, earning another muted cry.

From the way his eyes looked glassy, it did not take a genius to understand that it hurt like hell. Under the other’s hand, the fabric of the hospital gown he was wearing was slowly starting to taint red.

“I don’t have all day.” He simply replied as he began to walk away, dragging the young patient with him. Theodore glanced back as they walked back, meeting Blue’s staring.

The latter began to walk after them, about to call out to the staff member, only to see Theodore shake his head vigorously as a patient who was waiting in line behind him grabbed him by his shoulder, looking away from the scene.

Blue glanced at the sanitary workers behind the counter, who seemed to be pretending not to have seen anything, simply continuing to do their job. Why was no one doing anything to help?

The whole room seemed frozen in time as the duo walked to the exit, everyone coming back to life the instant the door clicked shut behind them.

Whoever that was, he was going to learn more about him since every patient seemed to be unusually scared of him. He wondered what kind of things he would be able to dig up about him. After all, he could not have this repeated.

And he quite hated not having his way.

The girl behind him finally released his shoulder, sighing. “You just dodged a bullet; you really don’t want to talk back to him of all people.”

“Why so?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

“He’s the first ready to take you out if you misbehave.” She explained, her eyes turning toward the exit. “Poor Theo, we might not see him for the movies tonight.”

“So he is that bad then?” She nodded vigorously.

“Trust me, you don’t want to cross him. You are a newbie, right? Theo probably did not have the time to warn you against the psych techs you should be careful of, but this one is one of them.” She then paused. “Since he’s gone now, do you want to sit with us for the time being?”

He smiled sweetly, nodding. “That would be my pleasure.” There was something about this girl that seemed interesting to exploit, if she mostly stayed vague during their conversation, he was quite positive that she knew more about this psych tech than she let out.

Whatever she knew, he was quite determined to know too.

It was about time that he got it together, there was no other way he would get out of this place otherwise.

Seeing this other patient walk past him toward the ones serving the food finally made him muster enough courage to get up to the counter and ask for his portion too.

If he managed to get distracted thanks to the unexpected interruption of his conversation with Theodore, he now had nothing to distract him from the smell of food he could already sense as the employees studied his face. The sense of dread he had felt earlier just intensified as he caught sight of the plate he was being served.

His heart dropped as he realized an important detail.

The portion he was being served...

It was way more important than the others.

One look at another plate confirmed his dreadful assumption.

Even worse was the way the employees stared into his eyes as they let out one of the worst sentences he may have ever heard.

“You better eat everything there is on this plate, we will check whether you truly finished your meal or not at the end of dinner.”

He did not respond, grabbing what was being handed to him and walking away from the counter, joining a small group of people the girl he talked to was part of.

On his way, he was tempted to smash that cursed place on the ground, kicking whatever remained of this godforsaken food out of his sight.

Oh, how he wished he could throw its contents on those workers’ faces, see how they would like to finish it all.

He was gaining enough weight as is before he came in here, he did not need these demons to be ruining his progress with his body.

He was so close to being perfect.

Why did they have to ruin it all?

All these sleepless nights from hunger pains could not have been for nothing.

His pain was worth it, right?

But he shook his head, holding himself back from acting on the thought. While the action would bring him some sort of satisfaction for a moment, he knew this would only get him in trouble.

Considering how these psych techs treated the patients, he did not want to discover what they would do to him if he had the misfortune of letting his desires take the best of him.

He sat down, his plate suddenly attracting everyone’s attention. They shared knowing glances, confirming that the greater portion of food was intentional and directed at people suffering from anorexia like him.

As he had feared, a few of them gave him pitiful glances, just succeeding in pissing him off more. Why could they not leave him alone? He was fine, he was not sick.

He pretended not to notice as he picked up his fork, pushing a piece of ham toward some... rice? He thought it was rice at least. If they were going to get him all angry like that, they may as well try to be useful to him.

“Everyone seemed to know that man who dragged Theodore out.” He began, catching one of the patients froze, their fork raised mid-air. How lucky they were not to care about what they would look like after. “Who was he?”

Another boy sighed at the others’ hesitation before finally giving him useful intel. “That was the hospital’s director’s son.”

“Oh? Is that why he’s allowed to do all these... things?” He pushed on, avoiding the plate below him like the plague.

“It kind of helps when they are all the same.” He sneered, voice bitter. He would have pushed on to get more information but someone at the table suddenly spoke up.

“Dinner finishes in half an hour, they are soon going to pass the meal check.” She reminded the group, though it was obvious to anyone with a minimum of brain cells to figure out the reminder was more for Blue than anyone else.

Guess distraction time is over, huh?

He knew what he was supposed to be doing, but he could not help it.

He raised the fork to his face, the smell alone enough to almost get him to gag again. His hand trembled as he could not help but eye the piece of potato drenched in sauce.

How many calories did potatoes possess again?

What sauce did they use? Would it make him fatter?

Would they allow him to pour salt into his water?

The longer he stared at the food, the sicker he felt. The ache in his stomach just flared up again, almost begging him to take a bite.

He would not be able to look at himself in the mirror if he so much as touched the food, he knew it.

He was a bit happy about how floaty the gown was, it would at least hide his stomach if it really did end up screwing his form as he feared.

That did not mean the shower would not hurt though.

His beauty was one of the only things he could pride himself on, why did they have to rob him of it as well? Had he not lost enough as is?

A psych tech was walking toward him, so he worked up the courage to finally put the piece of food in his mouth.

The second he felt the warmth on his tongue, he felt the vague ache in his stomach turn absolutely unbearable. He slapped his hand over his mouth as he doubled over and gagged.

He shook as the tech came over, completely ignoring his sorry state as she simply stared at his plate.

“You did not finish your meal.” She flatly stated, noting something down. “How long is this going to take for you to do so?”

Blue looked at her as if she had lost her mind, wondering if she was blind or consciously ignoring the fact he was visibly trying to and struggling. “I can’t finish it.”

She looked at him up and down, before sighing. “It’s a pity we must use such methods to get people like you to listen.”

He was about to ask what she meant by that before she suddenly grabbed his fork from his own hand, picking up a piece of meat. She forced Blue’s jaw open despite his attempts to get her off him, forcefully shoving the food in his throat.

He choked, feeling tears form in the corner of his eyes as he tried to cough the food out. However, the woman’s grip on him was firm and she did not let him do as he pleased, staring coldly into his eyes.

“If you spit or vomit it out, you can be sure that you are going to regret it.” Blue was not even given a second to process the words before she shoved something mushy in his mouth again, causing yet another gag to escape him.

This time, the force of his repulsion managed to finally push the woman back as he fell on his hands and knees, throwing up whatever it was she forced into his throat.

She simply waited until he was finished before she grabbed him by the collar, pushing him back against his chair. She had another handful of food in her hand, her eyes cold and annoyed as she frowned at him.

“I’ve warned you.” She simply stated before she lifted her gaze away from him. “Security!” She called, making Blue flinch. “I have a patient going crazy over there!”

He tried to say something as he vaguely deciphered the sounds of hurried footsteps coming from behind him in his haze, before he was flipped onto his back, his wrists pinned together from behind.

The next moment, he felt pain.

Then, nothing.

#dreamswap #angst #ds blue #ds hacker #dreamswapkiller #dreamswap blue #dreamswap hacker #backstory #blue needs help #fmaa2 #together #i’m sorry #would have uploaded more if life wasn’t kicking my ass #happy bday #to blue btw

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asukamood · 28 days

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asukamood · 29 days

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preincidents meet their future selves

based on these posts (images under cut) by @dreamvonlicht and @dreamvonlickedmyass

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asukamood · 2 months

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If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

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asukamood · 2 months

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Late Night Tutoring (fmaa2)

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I’m sorry for hyper focusing on fmaa2 lately but in my defense, I did not get to write anything for ages, and I am not even supposed to be writing. Also, I never really had the opportunity before to dwell on Sweammare’s past here sooo...

Used information found on this website, I have no clue what they could be studying about in biology I had to improvise. https://www.newscientist.com/article/2392685-we-now-know-how-many-cells-there-are-in-the-human-body/#:~:text=The%20average%20adult%20male%20has,28%20trillion%2C%20researchers%20have%20found.

Enjoy your reading!

***

Timeline: 20##, 16 years old Dream and Nightmare

Warnings: One-sided attraction, strong language

Synopsis: At first, they were convinced that he was cheating on Dream’s paper, seeing that he was the top student and always sitting next to him, it did not seem impossible. However, Nightmare’s results would be the same even if he were to be put alone in a room. The worst thing is that he only ever seemed to improve.

When he was questioned about it, he only responded that he had a very good night tutor.

But who would be able to teach that well and so frequently?

***

It was Monday morning, and a new day of high school full of learning for Dream and Nightmare. Though, it would be more accurate to single out Dream since Nightmare was currently sprawled over his desk, his face buried in his arms as he slept.

Dream, sat next to him as usual (Nightmare never let anybody else sit beside him, he was his best friend, get your own), seemingly unfazed by the other’s state. There was nothing surprising about it as he usually spent the day sleeping and the night thriving.

But how repetitive this was seemed to just get on the teachers’ nerves and that held especially true for the history professor, who was angrier than usual that day.

They had just finished scolding the whole class when they noticed Nightmare’s sleeping form, their wrath reigniting on the spot as they ordered Dream to wake his friend up.

At the latter’s refusal, the teacher walked up to their table and reached out to Nightmare, about to shake him awake themself. However, they were stopped from touching him by Dream grabbing their hand.

Before they could think of lashing out at him, he spoke up. “Believe me, you do not want to see how problematic Nightmare can be when he gets woken up.”

They stared at each other for a solid five seconds before the teacher finally turned away, scoffing.

They were not the only one dissatisfied with Nightmare’s behavior, their colleagues were too, often complaining about how he did not pay attention to class, too busy sleeping to care for their lessons.

Some would even complain about Nightmare having the audacity to lay on Dream’s lap and sleep, not budging an inch when he was called out to.

They could all agree that Nightmare was a student who did not care about lessons yet, he always got one of the highest grades on tests, right behind Dream.

At first, they were convinced that he was cheating on Dream’s paper, seeing that he was the top student and always sitting next to him, it did not seem impossible. However, Nightmare’s results would be the same even if he were to be put alone in a room. The worst thing is that he only ever seemed to improve.

When he was questioned about it, he only responded that he had a very good night tutor.

But who would be able to teach that well and so frequently?

***

Dream was popular at school and those who interacted with him frequently liked to say that they knew him. Truth was, they did not know anything about him.

Nightmare quite liked to make that point clear.

For example, they had no clue that Dream not only sleep talked about the classes he attended earlier in the day or what he studied for a test, but he was also capable of answering questions about said topics, even better than when he was awake.

So, the late-night tutor he was talking about was in truth Dream, who himself was not aware of it and was as equally confused as anyone else on how Nightmare managed to ace his classes.

Now, even if he was not listening in class, Nightmare was far from stupid and could generally understand things fast.

Literature? He could bullshit his way through.

History and Geography? Easy, done.

Math? He could cook an egg while waiting for his classmates to finish solving their first equations.

Physics and Chemistry? He could do those while in deep coma.

Although, he did have one weakness.

Biology.

That wicked subject was truly the bane of his existence, nothing about it making sense for Nightmare. He was just unable to understand it.

Of course, the next day he was going to have a test on that subject, where would the fun be otherwise?

When they got home, the routine would be roughly the same. Make sure the kids were okay, Dream would make some dinner since it was his turn this week while Nightmare practiced his violin seeing his upcoming recital, eat together and then Dream would get to work while Nightmare played games or something.

“We have a test tomorrow.” Dream would remind him, an eyebrow raised. “You’re not going to study?”

Nightmare would then wave his worries with the back of his hand, his eyes never leaving the screen in front of him. “Don’t worry, I have got it all figured out.”

Used to that, Dream would just shrug and go back to studying. His best friend was always quite the unique individual, he would most likely be alright.

***

A problem that could arise with counting on this technique was that he needed Dream asleep deep enough to start talking, which meant that if that day he unfortunately had trouble falling asleep, it would be bad news.

Of course, the one day he actually needed his explanations, Dream would only find sleep at midnight. He kept his frustration in the back of his head as he patiently waited for the other’s eyes to flutter shut.

Soon, soft breathing reached his ears as Dream’s chest slowly and subtly rose, his head heavily leaning against the pillow. After he had fallen asleep, it usually only took a few minutes for him to start talking so he waited, quietly admiring his sleepy face.

Dream was always so stressed all the time; it was quite a breath of fresh air to finally see him so relaxed after everything.

Whenever he was smiling, Nightmare always found himself staring, thinking to himself how badly he wanted to be the one to cherish that smile forever.

I mean, Dream was quite awfully pretty and always treated Nightmare well when nobody else has, was it really so weird for him to have fallen for him?

He wondered if the other would one day ever return his feelings.

He shook his head, cursing. This was not the time to think of things like that.

As if on cue, Dream’s lips started to open, all the signs Nightmare needed to reach for the notebook he hid under his pillow.

“The average male adult body possesses 36 trillion cells while an average female adult body possesses 28 trillion cells--”

There we go.

Dream just started and Nightmare was already confused.

“How can they be sure of the number? Did they just count the cells??”

A pause.

“They are not actually certain about the numbers cited earlier; those are just estimations.” Dream began to answer, bringing the blanket closer to his body. “They based their research on the number of cells in a tissue, determining their average sizes and mass and only then estimated how many cells that tissue possessed based on 1500 scientific papers.”

Nightmare scribbled down the information, knowing their biology teacher was likely to include fun facts like these in the test. He would bet a hand that Dream was the one who searched up the information on top of reviewing their lesson.

“The research was conducted based on an adult male body weighting 70kg while the woman was around 60kg. However, it is interesting to know that the estimation on the female body’s number of cells was based on figures that largely depicted male bodies so there is a lot of uncertainty surrounding it. Moreover, even the estimation on the male body is largely contested as the variation between male bodies each weighting 70kg is similar to one between a male and a female body.”

Oh stars, he was going to hate tonight’s tutoring, was he not?

***

It was 4 a.m. and Dream had stopped talking.

They were far from finished and Nightmare was eager to finish taking notes already, so he raised an eyebrow at Dream. “Why did you stop?”

Nightmare finally understood what was happening when Dream’s facial expression changed to a frown as he groaned.

He was waking up.

“Fuck!” He cursed, sitting up. “Dream, for the love of everything you want, please stay asleep I really need you to continue your explanation-”

The other did not seem to react to his words, looking even closer to waking up.

The other panicked as he thought of all the ways he could try to prevent him from waking up. Maybe he could whack him like a fly and hope it would knock him out? But then again, that sounded like an awful idea.

Then, two memories popped into his head.

In one of them, he could feel Dream’s fingers in his hair as he laid on his lap as he slowly fell asleep to the feeling. In the other, a similar situation, only that Dream was the one having his hair played with.

...

It was a habit they had as children when the other had trouble sleeping.

They have not done it for a long time, but it was worth a shot, right?

He was desperate to keep Dream asleep anyway, he could think of an excuse to give him on the spot, if he ended up waking up to the other petting his hair.

He hesitantly reached out, his fingers sliding between the other’s locks.

Dream tensed at first, though he was quick to relax, almost immediately leaning into his touch. Soon, as he kept petting his hair, Dream resumed his soft breathing, his eyes closed.

...

Okay, who gave Dream the right to be so goddamn cute? Nightmare questioned as he snickered, hiding his flustered face behind his free hand. He kept going for a few minutes, the other’s speech picking up where he had left it.

He reluctantly retrieved his hand, continuing to take notes.

The next morning, Dream was confused as to why Nightmare could not seem to look him in the eye.

Either way, the following days, Nightmare picked up the habit of petting his best friend’s hair (God, he wished they were more than that) because he found it cute, convenient, to have found a way to keep the other asleep if he ever needed it.

#dreamswap #fluff #ship #ds dream #ds nightmare #one sided love #one sided feelings #ds dreammare #ds dream x ds nightmare #dreamswap dream #dreamswap nightmare #dreamswap nightmare x dreamswap dream #sweammare #fmaa2

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asukamood · 2 months

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"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?

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asukamood · 2 months

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asukamood · 2 months

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My heart was beating fast while I was reading

Five Times Winnie Wanted to Confess, One Time Augustine Did

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This has been in my docs done for ages I just never got around to posting it, written during a Cold Front obsession phase

Do excuse me if they're out of character or if I messed up any dates, I can't remember them all perfectly— Anyways, Enjoy!

Sypnosis: The first time Winnie realized he was in love was at the tender age of 12.

He hadn’t expected to think of that at all really, especially not at 4 in the morning of all times.

Word count: 8.9k

The first time Winnie realized he was in love was at the tender age of 12.

He hadn’t expected to think of that at all really, especially not at 4 in the morning of all times.

The date on his phone read February 14th, 20xx. He didn’t know why he was still awake, but something in him absolutely refused to get a wink of sleep, quite different to usual. On a normal day he was asleep by 11 maximum, with the exception of the first few days after moving away from his home (his mother was very concerned, he still remembers how she’d check on him during the night to see if he was sleeping or not. He’d pretend to the best of his ability until she left before he returned to wallowing in his sorrows again.).

Scrolling on his phone seemed to be the only form of entertainment at the time, if he got out of bed his parents would realize he was awake and he really didn’t feel like getting another lecture. He didn’t have any homework to busy himself with, nor did he really feel like looking for something else. Messaging Augustine had come to mind, but there was no doubt he was asleep at this time.

The other was stubborn, especially when it came to him staying up on weekends, but he never usually made it past 2. He would also sleep in until around 1PM every time he tried to be stubborn and stay awake longer and get scolded about it when he woke up, punished with doing extra chores. On those days he wouldn’t stop complaining about it, saying he was ‘a big boy now’ and that ‘it’s not fair others get to stay awake and get away with it!’. He couldn’t help finding his friend’s enraged expressions funny.

The blond didn’t end up saying anything so as not to wake him up, they could probably talk in the morning, anyway. With nothing better to do, he scrolled through anything he could find trying to distract himself or become tired enough to sleep and get the rest he needed.

When his eyes finally started to get heavier, he noticed a website that caught his attention. It was something posted merely moments ago, titled something along the lines of what to do on valentines day for your loved ones or whatever (he was too tired to process it properly). Out of curiosity, his fingers glided over the link to open it.

It was too late for him to process most of the words, but what stood out was the beginning of the article. It was nothing special, only the typical explanation of what the day is and why it's considered special, but his eyes lingered on a single phrase. ‘Valentine's day was a special occasion for everyone, the perfect day to confess to your crush, whether it's a friend, classmate, or even acquaintance who has lingered on your mind’ was the quote, the rest of the paragraph continued similarly.

His tired mind couldn’t help but wonder what could happen on this day, childish brain coming up with no more than the image of people like his parents, always together and in love, dedicated to each other to the point you could see it a mile away. He wondered what the day could mean for him, is there a special someone he should be thinking about? Is it normal this is the first time he really thinks about that? Is he gonna be the outcast again being alone in the morning while everyone else has someone by their side? Was he weird because he didn’t have his eyes set on a girl he wanted to…kiss? It shouldn’t be an issue he was twelve, but what if things in Saskatchewan were different or something, would they laugh at hi-

His thoughts came to a halt as the image of his one friend came to mind. Augustine didn’t have his eyes on any girls either, right? He would have known otherwise. They told each other everything, that wouldn’t be an exception!

..Did he know anything about this day? It was never acknowledged all that much in Quebec, was it the same here? Maybe he wasn't so weird after all? The thought calmed his nerves a little more than it should have.

Despite that, for some reason, the idea of being with his best friend during that day didn’t bother him as much as it should have. He felt his face rapidly heat up at the thought of holding his hand, it wouldn’t be the first time they did that they do so very often Augustine always liked to drag him places saying that it was easy and faster (which Winnie was offended by, he can walk fast too!) but for some reason that thought felt different, he didn’t know why.

If his reaction to finding out about the event was normal, this was definitely not. They’re friends, Auggie was his first and only friend after coming here. He didn’t pity him, he didn’t leave, he wanted to stay, he was why Winnie talked to other people at all even if to him they were enough on their own. Auggie was nice to him the way he wanted, he never left him out of things. The other boy was different, straight forward at best but Winnie liked that about him. He never lied about things (even if he did, he was so bad it was laughable), and he never laughed when Winnie’s emotions took the best of him. He supported him and it meant everything to the little boy.

Since they met, he visibly started feeling better. He finally came out of his shell and started crying less, eventually returning to his normal sleep schedule. Well, normal until today that was. But that's all they were, right? Nothing else, that's all they could be right? He wasn’t a girl, nor was the brunette, so that’s what they were.

..Their parents didn’t ever say anything about the way they acted, so it was okay right? Not much would change if they did do things together on that day. Would it be weird if he said he loved him in the morning?? That was the point of the day right? To celebrate love with people you like and enjoy the day together?

It would be okay if he tried to say something right? Nothing bad would happen, Auggie would probably be okay with it too. He didn’t want to be alone and he doubted the other did either, so it was good for them both right?

Winnie barely processed it when he yawned, just realizing how tired all that thinking had made him. Another look at the time told him over an hour had passed, 5:21 Am now instead of 4 when he last checked.

He had to rest so he knew what to say in the morning, otherwise he’ll mess up and forget later!

Finally, he closed his eyes and drifted off to a dreamless sleep 6 hours later than he would have typically wanted to.

It was 2 P.M when Winnie woke up, his head was pounding. His eyes hurt to open and he felt a lot more tired than usual, entirely disoriented.

The door creaked open as a woman with an appearance similar to the child peered her head in, perking up when she realized he was awake.

“Winnie?”

He really shouldn’t have stayed awake, his head hurt even more at hearing the words that he almost forgot to process his name being called. Mustering up the energy to fix his seating, he looked up at his mother to respond despite looking like an absolute wreck.

He was too out of it to really process what happened before he found himself near the lake with Augustine, the shorter kicking rocks into it paying little attention to him spacing out.

..Ah right, he was scolded for being awake for so long. Apparently his mother had realized he was awake when she went to take the laundry out of his room in the morning. His phone was warm, a clear sign he only got off of it recently. She ended up leaving after telling him to get ready for the day, that his best friend had been waiting for him for an hour by that point.

Hearing how long he left him standing, Winnie practically jumped out of bed already panicked as guilt overtook his senses. As soon as he was ready, he basically raced out the door to find his friend who was halfway up climbing a tree by the time he noticed him.

“Auggie!” he exclaimed while making his way over, whatever the other responded didn’t stick to his memory, too tired to really process how fast he typically spoke.

“-Winnie! Look at me already!”

The blond was snapped out of his trance by a flick to the forehead, blinking a few times before his eyes cooperated enough to notice how close his friend was to his face. He practically jumped back with a yelp, forgetting how he was sitting on the edge of the lake and falling into the water.

Augustine panicked and barely grabbed onto his hand, almost falling into the water himself. It’s not that Winnie was unable to swim, more that the water was cold if anything.

With some splashing, they eventually managed to pull him out, but he was absolutely soaked. Augustine couldn’t help but laugh at how wet he was, much to Winnie’s displeasure.

“DON’T LAUGH AT ME YOU’RE THE REASON I FELL AUGGIE” He huffed out, faking annoyance which only made his friend laugh harder.

It was.. Nice.

…until he began sneezing, that was.

The two ended up having to run to Winnie’s house as Augustine dragged him back by the hand once more, trying to warm him up as they went along.

The brunette ended up having to explain to their parents why Winnie was soaked when they were just meant to be playing as he dried himself off and changed, eventually making his way back to his room after Auggie had left to his own house again.

Their conversation can wait, he was too tired and it wasn’t the right time.

But that was okay.

They’ll always have time.

———————————————

The second time Winnie thought about love, he was 14.

2 years had passed since his valentines day dilemma, safe to say time (and procrastination) had eventually made him forget all about his plans.

As they got older, Auggie had hardly changed. They were still together as they were since he moved, only fresh in highschool! Best friends, like they said they were.

During the past few years, he was pressured to talk to more people and make new friends. At some point, he no longer found himself obsessing over finding out why they wanted to be around him. Eventually, the thought of being approached out of pity felt only like a distant memory or something he imagined happening, though it was far from that. If not for that fear, his mother wouldn’t have talked to Augustine’s about him, they wouldn’t have had their c̶h̶a̶o̶t̶i̶c̶ first meeting, never gotten the chance to be this close.

He may not admit or even say it all that often, but that is one thing he’s grateful for. If not for that, he’d have still been dealing with the emotional wreck of being the new kid, outcast like he always expected to be. But he didn’t need to be, it was proven to him in the best way it ever could have been.

He had come to know Augustine’s other friends, they even liked him. The first time he couldn’t make it to school and they still invited Winnie to sit with them the boy was overjoyed, almost to the point he forgot about his friend’s absence for a while. By the time the day was over, he couldn’t help feeling empty without the energetic presence rambling alongside him as they walked back home.

It was one day, so it didn’t matter that much in the long run right?

From that day on, he became more comfortable with them. He didn’t worry as much about being wanted there or not, becoming visibly more comfortable. It came to the point that it was so clear the brunette asked him about it straight up during the middle of one of their walks.

“Hey Win?” Augustine paused, nearly causing the boy behind him to run into him.

The blond caught himself the last second, stabilizing his stance enough to make sure he wouldn’t fall before speaking again.

“Mm yea Auggie? Why’d you stop walking? I was gonna fall on you!” He whined.

“You’ve been more willing to sit with people recently, did something happen while I was gone?”

His questioning look was met with a big smile, almost like Winnie was waiting to talk about it.

“Oh!! That? When you didn’t come a few days ago, your friends came up to me and asked me to sit with them even if you weren’t there, they were really nice and-”

As he continued to ramble, Augustine returned to walking. While the other followed soon after, his expression stayed the same as his ramble- which the brunette stopped listening to- didn’t cease. He felt weird about that, why did it feel weird hearing how happy Winnie was hanging out with his friends on their own? That was what he wanted, right? To get him more friends?

It was probably nothing, doubt it mattered much anyway. It was one time and a normal thing.

“You never told me why you didn't show up to school that day though, did something happen? Mom didn’t let me check on you because she said you probably didn’t want to be bothered at the time” Winnie inquired all of a sudden, catching the other’s attention and cutting off his line of thought.

“I was sick, couldn’t get out of bed and recovered over the weekend” he quickly responded, it was no lie but saying he wasn’t bummed out by not seeing his friend would be a lie. It would have probably made him feel less like a glorified pile of muck on the side of the road.

At least now he knows he wasn’t ditched, it wasn’t intentional or voluntary at least.

Winnie didn’t abandon him because of them.

Of course he wouldn’t! Why would he ever leave someone like him, anyway? He was Winnie’s first and closest friend, nobody else. Others getting to know him wouldn’t change that, if they would have then Winnie wouldn’t have put his all into proving he was cool enough they’d be friends.

Winnie didn’t really notice the look on his friend’s face, too focused on making sure they crossed the road properly. The traffic lights were green and cars were zooming past, yet Augustine’s pace didn’t slow or pause at all. Rushing forward a little faster, he pulled the other back by his collar.

Augustine yelped, not expecting a sudden pull cutting off his breathing for a moment. Winnie gave him a sheepish smile as he coughed trying to breathe properly again, muttering out an awkward apology.

“You were about to walk into the road silly, why did you get so distracted suddenly?” He didn’t say how he found it funny, knowing the other would throw a dramatic fit over that. It was slightly endearing, in a way.

He only realized he sas silently staring at the one before him for a few minutes too long until he felt tapping on his forehead.

“Earth to Winnie, you didn’t hear a word I said didn’t you?” Augustine grumbled.

Winnie couldn't help but laugh once again, his antics really were different.

“We can cross the road now, hurry up before it turns green again!”

It seemed like his dear friend was back to being himself after that mini-distraction, it felt more right this way. He was, once again, taken by the hand as Auggie ran across the road to get them past as fast as possible without the light switching colours on them again.

Winnie could swear he almost tripped 3 times during that small distance run. He should really focus more.

As he looked back to his best friend he couldn’t help but sit there in silence for a few minutes. He wasn’t saying anything this time, only staring off at something god knows where again. As he did so, Winnie couldn’t help thinking back to his thoughts that night two years ago.

Should he bring it up? They were even closer now, so it was even less possible Auggie would react badly (if he did at all!)He had the energy for the conversation this time, they were alone like they needed to be too!

If he didn’t say anything, he’d be too much of a coward to do so again later. 2 years passing since the time he originally planned to and ended up ditching proved that!

With a deep breath and little to no plan, Winnie decided to just get it over with as he could quite literally feel himself inching closer to a heart attack.

“Hey Auggie?”

Augustine turned to him, suddenly losing interest in whatever had his attention moments ago.

“What is i-”

“AUGUSTINE!’

A voice of someone they hadn’t anticipated caught both the young boys off guard. Winnie recognized her, a girl from their math class earlier that day. She was insistent on talking to his friend almost the entire class which threw him off but he said nothing nonetheless.

Augustine’s attention snapped to the call of his name instead, focus shifting.

Winnie didn’t hear the conversation that transpired next, busy trying to understand why the sudden interruption annoyed him the way it did.

It happened sometimes, that was normal. Augustine knew everyone, it's only natural they came up to him sometimes too no? He wasn’t the only one.

“Winnie I need to go for a bit, Donna just said there’s something I need to see quickly or something? You can continue without me I’ll tell you when I’m back” the boy rushed out as he was being pulled away off to the complete opposite road of the path they were going on.

Winnie found himself nodding involuntarily, hardly processing it when the words “I’ll see you when you’re back then” came out of his mouth.

They were oddly dry, not the way he usually talks.

Augustine wasn’t able to dwell on that much further as the girl, now known as Donna, dragged him off somewhere else leaving Winnie alone.

Another time, surely it’d work out by then right?

———————————————

The third time Winnie acknowledged love, he was 16.

Another two years had passed and, once again, he kept procrastinating and chickening out at the last second.

The one time he was finally about to say something, Augustine was dragged away and didn’t return until midnight. He was worried sick the entire day, what if something happened? He promised not to take long, why did he? Maybe he was dragged into something bad, maybe he got hurt and couldn’t come back yet what if he got kidnapped what if something worse happened he didn’t know what the’d do with himself if—

Their mothers were equally worried that day, apparently Augustine didn’t tell his parents he’d take longer because of whatever happened either. When he returned alone, Winnie was questioned about the others whereabouts and lacked a good answer, increasing their concern only for the boy in question to appear again a mere few hours later and get the scolding of his life.

He wasn’t hurt more than a few scratches here and there, some bruises sure but those were his own fault for not being careful as he should have been. Auggie never explained what happened that day, though. It’s not like he pressed for any further information but it was…weird.

Since then, he never brought it up again no matter how much the brunette pestered him to continue his sentence on that day, claiming he forgot or making up any excuse he could think of on the spot to avoid having that interaction when he was not yet prepared. He was procrastinating for so long it had to be perfect. That was the only thing that would make it feel worth the wait.

Winnie would tell him on the anniversary of their first meeting.

..was it excessive? To call it an anniversary, he doubted Auggie remembered the date as anything special but it meant the world to him at the time, and it does even as time passed. It was when he realized he didn’t have to feel so alone anymore, the day someone in this province finally made him feel wanted and welcome.

Because of him, he got closer to more people. The friends Augustine introduced him to, the ones who invited him to hang out with them alone, others around the school, they all wanted to know him for him now. He was the reason they started liking Winnie, the reason he has any other friends at all.

Of course, Augustine would forever stay his favourite and dearest one, but that didn’t mean others didn’t become valued too. Winnie had never been happier, people waving to him as he passed by, stopping to talk to him from time to time, it made him feel warm inside again.

He didn’t miss the glances he got, but it never felt like much of a concern.

At least, not for a while.

Or not yet.

What he had noticed was how Augustine had changed over the years, how he reacted whenever the blond introduced him to a new friend he’d make. How he tended to not respond the way he used to when they were talking about interests they had, especially Hockey.

Winnie knew his friend always loved that game. He was the best player their school had for years, close to all other members of the team and always telling him about it. H̶e̶ t̶r̶i̶e̶d̶ n̶o̶t̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ h̶o̶w̶ c̶o̶n̶v̶e̶n̶i̶e̶n̶t̶l̶y̶ t̶h̶e̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶ A̶u̶g̶u̶s̶t̶i̶n̶e̶ s̶t̶o̶p̶p̶e̶d̶ t̶a̶l̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ i̶t̶ l̶i̶n̶e̶d̶ u̶p̶ w̶i̶t̶h̶ t̶h̶e̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶ w̶h̶e̶n̶ h̶e̶ j̶o̶i̶n̶e̶d̶ t̶h̶e̶ t̶e̶a̶m̶ a̶l̶o̶n̶g̶s̶i̶d̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶ b̶o̶y̶.

H̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ m̶i̶s̶s̶ t̶h̶e̶ d̶i̶s̶t̶a̶n̶t̶ l̶o̶o̶k̶s̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ a̶c̶r̶o̶s̶s̶ t̶h̶e̶ r̶i̶n̶k̶, w̶h̶e̶n̶ A̶u̶g̶u̶s̶t̶i̶n̶e̶'s̶ e̶y̶e̶s̶ l̶o̶o̶k̶e̶d̶ c̶o̶l̶d̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶a̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶y̶ e̶v̶e̶r̶ h̶a̶d̶ b̶e̶f̶o̶r̶e̶.

W̶h̶e̶n̶ h̶e̶ f̶e̶l̶t̶ d̶i̶f̶f̶e̶r̶e̶n̶t̶.

N̶o̶t̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ i̶t̶ w̶a̶s̶ a̶n̶ i̶s̶s̶u̶e̶ t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶, t̶h̶e̶y̶ w̶e̶r̶e̶ f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶, r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶?̶ I̶t̶ w̶a̶s̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶l̶y̶ h̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ h̶a̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶ b̶a̶d̶ d̶a̶y̶ a̶n̶y̶w̶a̶y̶, t̶h̶i̶s̶ y̶e̶a̶r̶ w̶a̶s̶ n̶o̶t̶ t̶r̶e̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ h̶i̶m̶ k̶i̶n̶d̶l̶y̶ b̶y̶ a̶n̶y̶ m̶e̶a̶n̶s̶.

They were still friends, accompanying each other to every class and doing things together as always. It was a good thing how they haven’t changed in that regard, people always came to associate them with the other.

Overtime, it became apparent that wherever Augustine is, Winnie was not far away and vice versa. They used to joke about it at first until it became frequent enough the joke itself got boring. Now, it’s nothing special.

Sure, they walked with other people and hung out with others sometimes. a̶t̶ l̶e̶a̶s̶t̶ h̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶, A̶g̶u̶s̶t̶i̶n̶e̶ m̶u̶s̶t̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ t̶o̶o̶ n̶o̶?̶ h̶e̶ h̶a̶d̶ p̶l̶e̶n̶t̶y̶ o̶f̶ f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶ a̶s̶ f̶a̶r̶ a̶s̶ h̶e̶ k̶n̶e̶w̶. But it never damaged their bond.

Winnie was planning this day for the past 4 months at this point, it almost felt funny how repetitive this routine felt by the third time. “The day he would stop being a coward, would say it to his friend’s face and wait for the response he yearns for” or whatever he always thought about, cheesy in a way but it wasn’t like he could exactly help that.

They were only walking through the halls during their lunch period when they passed by Winnie’s locker. A normal thing if not for the fact 3 people were crowded around it, whispering to themselves.

The duo didn’t pay it much time at first, preferring to continue their debate on the newest pointless subject they thought of: if oranges came first or if it was the colour. Augustine insisted the fruit did, whereas Winnie was prepared to die on the hill saying it was the other way around.

The group of 3 in front of the locker were not people the two were particularly friends with, Winnie recognized one as someone who sits next to him in.. biology? At least that's what he remembered. Augustine shrugged at the question of their names, saying it didn’t come up enough for him to remember them much, adding on how they weren’t particularly interesting enough for him to care beyond acquainting with anyway.

It wasn’t something Winnie needed to put much thought into either, trusting his friend’s judgement.

All that really mattered now was convincing Auggie to follow him to the rooftop where he could finally say what he wanted to in complete privacy, but until then he had to keep his cool and continue their seemingly endless bickering.

They were forced to snap out of their conversation when one of the boys pushed someone towards them, turning to see what the issue was. The girl pushed towards them by her friends lost her balance, but Winnie quickly caught her fall before any actual damage could be caused, at which her face turned red.

H̶e̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ s̶w̶e̶a̶r̶ A̶u̶g̶u̶s̶t̶i̶n̶e̶ g̶l̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ a̶t̶ h̶e̶r̶.

“Are you okay?” he inquired, looking between the three in obvious confusion.

The girl just nodded, fiddling with her hands seemingly unable to form a proper response. As he turned away to leave after telling them to be more careful, his arm was grabbed by her as a seemingly impulse decision she regretted almost immediately after.

W̶a̶y̶ t̶o̶ s̶e̶t̶ h̶i̶s̶ p̶l̶a̶n̶ o̶f̶f̶ a̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶, h̶e̶ o̶n̶l̶y̶ h̶a̶d̶ 1̶5̶ m̶i̶n̶u̶t̶e̶s̶ l̶e̶f̶t̶!̶

Before he could breathe, she finally spoke up.

“Can I- talk to you for a few minutes?”

Winnie looked back at his friend, seemingly at a loss. He didn’t want to stay, he planned so long for this but she didn’t have plans of letting him go yet and-

The look on Augustine’s face was cold as it was on those days in the rink, his expression changing to one Winnie couldn’t read in mere seconds after they were talking normally only moments ago.

At least that's what he thought, it’s what that looked like anyway.

“You can go, it’s fine” the brunette said, though Winnie knew better than to believe his tone was one of someone who really didn’t care what he did. He knew better than that, Augustine was annoyed, but what for?

It seemed like the girl took that as an invitation to drag him away, almost tripping Winnie in the meantime. Her friends cheered her on as Augustine only turned around and walked in the opposite direction instead of waiting for him to return after or interrupting her for dragging him off like that.

Whatever side of the school she was taking him to he didn’t quite notice, only realizing how far they’d gone when she shoved a letter into his hands and refused to look at him. Winnie could easily guess the implications of that, seeing the heart sticker on the front of it.

It was about to be a long conversation, one he didn’t want to be a part of.

Why was it so difficult for things to work out when he wanted to come clean?

Maybe another time, surely.

———————————————

Winnie was 18 when they grew apart.

Their separation started slow, over the course of a few years.

It wasn’t entirely like that of course!- they were talking less is all, not really separate. They still hung out at school sometimes like they used to and sat together in one or two classes, W̶i̶n̶n̶i̶e̶ f̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ h̶i̶m̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ d̶r̶a̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ s̶o̶m̶e̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ e̶l̶s̶e̶ m̶o̶r̶e̶ o̶f̶t̶e̶n̶ t̶h̶a̶n̶ n̶o̶t̶, A̶u̶g̶g̶i̶e̶ n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ s̶t̶o̶p̶p̶e̶d̶ h̶i̶m̶ s̶o̶ h̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ m̶u̶c̶h̶ o̶f̶ a̶ p̶r̶o̶b̶l̶e̶m̶ r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶?̶

They walked together after on their home, but Auggie never looked at him if he could help it. When he did, something felt wrong. Instead of the warm looks he always received when they were kids, it was like looking at a stranger.

Any conversations they had were started by him and died out quite quickly, the other giving the bare minimum of a response if not just nodding and moving along. The blond never figured out how to get him to talk like they used to again, nor the reason for the sudden change.

Something he noticed more and more as he approached his friend was the way the other would scoff, as if annoyed by his mere presence. Winnie remembers staying awake night after night thinking and trying to understand what happened, where he went wrong, what he did to make things this way.

He looked through every conversation he could find, recounting every single one he could remember trying to find what about him led his friend to being unhappy about his presence after so long.

Could it be that Augustine had grown tired of him?

Winnie shook his head- he was too tired to be thinking of this at the moment. They would be heading back home in a bit, it was 3:00 anyway, a few minutes left before the bell rings.

He would approach Auggie and have a proper conversation again if it was the last thing he did!

…He didn’t realize how hard that would be until he was already looking for the other, trying to make up any topic so they wouldn’t walk in silence again, and fate didn’t seem to be on his side as he found the person he was in search of before conjuring anything up.

Despite the cold air between them, Augustine still waited for him at the gate so they could walk back together. It made Winnie feel more at ease, knowing he at least didn’t mess up badly enough to get ditched entirely.

He didn’t respond to anyone calling him as he speed-walked over to the brunette, not wanting to make him wait longer than he already did. Heavens know the last thing Winnie wanted now was to have Augustine ditch him because he took too long.

As soon as he arrived, the brunette turned around and started walking down the path that's been imprinted into their memory over the years. It was always a routine of theirs to walk back together, the company was nice. The few times they were separated by something happening always ended up in an apology or hangout later that day to make up for the time.

Winnie both loved and hated how this walk started to feel overtime. The silence wasn’t comfortable as it used to be, his friend didn't look like he planned to break it either. As expected, the job fell on his shoulders.

The further they went, the worse it got. The familiarity of the path at least allowed him to space out and think more about what to do to make things less awkward.

It seemed as if his brain had other plans, by the way it didn’t cooperate. Whatever, they knew each other for years. The last few conversations couldn’t keep repeating, they’d never improve again if neither of them spoke up.

“Hey Auggie?” He began, with little clue as to where he planned to go with the conversation.

For the first time that day, Augustine looked up at him. “Yea?”

“I heard you had a test today, how did it go? Math right?” Winnie did not in fact hear of a math test, let alone one at all. A friend of his mentioned stressing over one the week prior and he just asked that based on someone else who probably wasn’t even in the same cla-

“Another calculus one, yes. Absurdly soon seeing when the last one was” he responded, looking back to the street instead of the one next to him.

That was something Winnie could work with, a start somewhere.

“How did it go? You were always complaining about that subject then finishing all the work before I even got halfway through the page, it was impressive”

There was a shift in Augustine’s expression, small, but noticeable. It was a good confirmation he was doing alright so far, which was all he needed.

The shorter just shrugged at the question. It was how he always reacted to those sorts of inquiries, Winnie couldn’t help letting out a small laugh.

H̶e̶ m̶i̶s̶s̶e̶d̶ t̶h̶e̶ w̶a̶y̶ A̶u̶g̶u̶s̶t̶i̶n̶e̶ s̶t̶i̶f̶f̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ a̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ s̶o̶u̶n̶d̶.

“How'd you know there was a test to benign with? We’re in different math classes” Augustine may have been staring at the road still, but he was less focused on their path more at kicking the rocks he found on the way. A classic thing he did, trying to get them to go as far as possible.

When they were younger they used to try and see who could do it better, but Winnie eventually grew out of it. Of the many things that changed about Augustine, that habit was not one.

“A friend was complaining about it the last time we talked, I assumed you might have the same teacher and I was right!” He answered. What to him seemed like a simple answer made Augustine pause. Pause for a lot longer than he should have as his expression shifted again.

..Winnie didn’t think he said anything wrong, did he?

Augustine didn’t respond, opting to go back to walking faster than before rather than say a word.

They would be silent again if he didn’t continue, it was going well for once his friend responded with proper sentences again instead of gestures or small sentences.

“I’m sure you did great, Auggie!” He saw the other smile and roll his eyes at those words, s̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶l̶y̶ r̶e̶l̶i̶e̶v̶e̶d̶?̶.

The direction he was going in seemed to be exactly what was needed, so Winnie went on. “Did you go to hockey practice last Friday? I had to miss it to help my parents with stuff after school but I couldn’t stop thinking about that”

Augustine scoffed and Winnie hesitated to say anything else as a strange feeling set in.

“I went, everyone kept asking about you though”

“That’s so nice of them, I didn’t-” He was cut off by the feeling of his wrist being grabbed roughly.

“What was that?”

Winnie blinked awkwardly, just noticing the expression on the other’s face.

“I just..said that it was nice?” Augustine held onto his wrist tighter at that.

“Don’t play dumb, repeat what you said again I dare you.”

He was angry.

Despite everything, Winnie had never seen the other angry with him. He saw him annoyed, yelling at others from time to time, but never him. Especially not while grabbing his arm like it had offended him somehow.

“I didn’t say anythi-”

“You think I’m stupid don’t you? I heard you, coward.” The brunette let go of him and Winnie held the now slightly reddened wrist as his confusion only grew.

“Of course you didn’t. Whatever, I’ll see you later.”

Before Winnie could respond or reach out to stop him, the other stormed off in the opposite direction on his own but not without sending him a glare before he left.

He messed up again.

The problem was he didn’t know what he said.

Did he not like hockey anymore? Was that topic a bad idea?

For the first time, Winnie felt like their end was near.

He didn't know how long he stood in place before his legs finally started moving again, what he did know was the chances of fixing their friendship were lower than they were previously at the start of the day. The Augustine he knew and the one he was faced with felt like different people now.

It was like there was a stranger in his skin.

———————————————

Winnie was 18 when he wished he never thought about love at all.

A long time had passed since his last conversation with Augustine, and it was now the summer.

Their relationship only got worse after the conversation on their walk back to their houses, always off when the other one is present.

If anyone asked Winnie if he expected this only a few years prior, he would be beyond confused. The boy couldn’t have predicted a fallout as bad as this one.

He was going to move soon, they didn’t need to deal with this much longer.

That was what he thought, at least. When it came to the day right before they moved, their parents made them hang out together again. Instead of what they may have typically done a while back, they opted to go on one last car ride together to talk one last time.

It wasn’t like the fact they grew apart this badly wasn’t his fault. He’s the one who stopped talking despite Augustine’s attempts.

He’s the one who never responded after…

H̶e̶ n̶o̶t̶i̶c̶e̶d̶ A̶u̶g̶u̶s̶t̶i̶n̶e̶ l̶o̶o̶k̶ a̶t̶ h̶i̶m̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ a̶c̶r̶o̶s̶s̶ t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ c̶l̶a̶s̶s̶e̶s̶, c̶l̶u̶b̶s̶, a̶n̶y̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶y̶ w̶e̶r̶e̶ t̶y̶p̶i̶c̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ t̶o̶g̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶. H̶e̶ n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ s̶a̶i̶d̶ a̶n̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ i̶t̶.

Winnie was beyond nervous, but to say he wasn’t excited was a lie. As much as he may have avoided acknowledging it, he missed the other dearly. D̶e̶s̶p̶i̶t̶e̶ w̶h̶a̶t̶ h̶e̶ w̶a̶n̶t̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ b̶e̶l̶i̶e̶v̶e̶, h̶e̶ n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ s̶t̶o̶p̶p̶e̶d̶ l̶o̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ h̶i̶m̶ a̶n̶d̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ o̶n̶l̶y̶ m̶a̶d̶e̶ i̶t̶ h̶u̶r̶t̶ w̶o̶r̶s̶e̶.

He grabbed the nearest pair of glasses and rushed out the door.

A̶u̶g̶u̶s̶t̶i̶n̶e̶ u̶s̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ j̶o̶k̶i̶n̶g̶l̶y̶ m̶a̶k̶e̶ f̶u̶n̶ o̶f̶ h̶i̶m̶ f̶o̶r̶ h̶a̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ t̶h̶o̶s̶e̶ o̶n̶e̶s̶ a̶n̶d̶ t̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ t̶h̶e̶m̶ e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶.

He found the other waiting for him outside, avoiding eye contact which Winnie didn’t blame him for. They got into the car in silence, the drive continued that way for a while.

Winnie didn’t know what to do, so he pretended nothing happened. He was too focused on making sure his legs don’t go numb while he’s driving, the last thing they needed was a car accident.

As if life was trying to make things hard for him intentionally, that's exactly what they found themselves set up for.

Stranded in a frozen car, suddenly in the middle of winter, dealing with situations beyond their comprehension after a fight in the car.

First staring at the frozen corpses of their child selves, being chased by an..elk-bear monstrosity, falling into what looked like an endless hole, the list went on..

Augustine was searching for a way to leave the entire time, to figure out what happened, but Winnie was unable to get himself to move or put in the same effort.

They were currently in his house, or what looked to be it, and Augustine was searching the rooms. He was sitting on the piles of boxes trying to think of something to help, trying not to freeze to his death.

His gaze lingered on the stairs as memories played out in his mind.

The day he fell down the stairs and broke his legs, the way Augustine left.

When he tripped and was found by someone else, when he waited for Augustine’s return before he passed out for it to never come.

When he truly started questioning the very core of their relationship.

He was not.. Angry. He was confused.

Months later, he still didn’t have an answer as to why. He didn’t know what they were anymore, and it hurt.

It hurt worse than anything, but he didn't blame the other. Augustine didn’t act without reason, he wasn’t the irrational type.

The phrase Augustine said moments before was looping endlessly in his head.

Before he fell- before Winnie LET him fall.

Begging him to hold onto his hands properly and pull him up.

“Please don’t let go. I’m your friend. We’re friends.”

The silence that followed will haunt him.

“We are friends, right?”

The same question he asked himself for months.

He was dragged out of his trance hearing mumbling behind him. Augustine was standing there, a dark look in his eyes.

Darker than Winnie had ever seen from him.

He was..worried.

“Auggie?”

The mumbling continued.

“Augustine? Hello?”

No response.

It took a while for the other to respond, he seemed just as confused as he was.

His chest felt heavy as they both stood there, while he could blame it on paranoia caused by the situation as they are both standing on top of a staircase reminding him of the fall, it wasn’t that.

They needed to talk.

They couldn’t go on like this, one of them needed to do something to break their silence.

Augustine tried and was either met with nothing before or what had happened when they were in the car, it was only right that he began.

“..We can’t go on like this.” He began.

Augustine’s eyes shot up to meet his and Winnie’s, and for the first time in a while he felt familiar.

He continued talking, only pausing to take a breath knowing if he stopped he would freeze up. For the first time in years, he saw himself getting through to his friend.

When he finished, he saw the way Augustine’s lips quivered, the way he shook slightly, he looked the most fragile he ever has. Like a single gust of wind could break him apart. Winnie hated seeing the one he looked up to and loved so dearly look that way, knowing he was part of the reason only made him hate it more.

The dams broke as Augustine’s words spilled out, years of struggle being put before his very eyes.

His chest felt tight, he never thought actions he never thought much of hurt the other this badly, yet here he was listening to it all.

Responding was something he didn’t feel himself do, more truthful than he ever was.

Pouring their hearts out in his house while it was snowing indoors was never something either of them expected to do, but here they were.

“There’s nothing in this world that can replace you.”

“I’m sorry…! I’m really sorry…!”

“I should’ve respected your line…!”

“I should’ve thought about how you’d feel, I should’ve put myself in your shoes…!”

“But I was too blinded by admiration back then that-”

“I couldn’t see that you were my one and only friend before my hero!”

“It must’ve been so frustrating… It must’ve been so upsetting…!”

“You don’t have to forgive me, I know apologizing now won’t change the past…”

“But I just want you to know this…!”

Winnie could hardly process a single word coming out of his mouth, Augustine stood in front of him with his mouth agape taking in everything.

He took that as an invitation to continue.

“You are the coolest and brightest person I have ever met in my whole life, Augustine!”

“I was only able to do all the things I’ve accomplished so far because you encouraged me back then…!”

“Because you gave me hope. You work hundreds, thousands, million times harder than me… And I remind myself every day how lucky I am to have ever met a friend like you…!”

“...-You’re amazing like that!-..”

Winnie’s heart ached at every tear that dropped, the other tried to stop but he couldn’t. They momentarily panicked when he couldn’t breathe through the tears, but it was only expected after such a long time of bottling everything up.

Everything felt worth it again when he saw his smile.

The one he knew, the smile that drew him in from the start.

This was the Augustine he knew.

They had to get back to reality, if his theory was correct then he knew how to do so.

They just needed to hurry up before their time runs out, Winnie believed in them, they could do it together.

He finally felt complete again, the hole in his heart filled simply by a single conversation.

Maybe he didn’t regret thinking about love all these years, all he needed was a reminder.

A reminder was exactly what he got, and he could not be more grateful for it.

For the first time in years, they were truly friends.

They were not alone.

———————————————

It had been around 3 months since the car accident.

Since the two were trapped in an upside down car, experiencing a world made up of their own horrors.

Since they finally, truly became the friends they always thought they were.

The speech they had, the chance to finally bond again and come clean about everything, took so much more weight off of Augustine's shoulders than he could have ever imagined it would. Sure, the cost was a broken leg, but it also meant that Winnie got to stay longer too.

Augustine could never describe how it felt looking at his friend again, finally seeing a friend rather than a competitor. Someone to relax around again rather than someone he was inferior to. Winnie did all he did to be like him of all people and all he saw were false attempts to tear him down and take his place.

Part of him can’t imagine that anymore, the same part that yearned to talk to Winnie again since the accident the winter before that. The same part that kept him up at night about not helping, not doing something, anything to help him when he fell down those stairs and broke his legs.

He had one broken leg and support yet he was still struggling, still healing from the consequences of it. It had made for a fun joke though, making Winnie bring or do stuff for him because as the driver it was easy to blame him for the crash and therefore the break. At first Winnie looked incredibly guilty when it was brought up, going silent before apologizing so unlike himself. It took a few weeks to get him to see it as the joke it was, but when that worked he never got to live it down.

It wasn’t like he seemed to mind though, frequently asking Augustine if he wanted anything else after he brought up the idea of feeling like having something of any sort and getting up on his own, even if it was merely a passing thought or mood.

It was…nice.

What was not nice on the other hand was the days itching closer to the new moving date.

Augustine finally healed, which meant Winnie would be moving soon.

He would leave to go to the college they both wanted. Oddly, instead of sparking feelings of anger or envy this time, he felt more melancholic about the thought.

As the day came closer and closer, a sense of emptiness overtook him. Winnie was the same, they hung together a lot more than they have in the last few years as a whole, but the departure always felt wrong.

Despite their talk, they both knew there were still words unsaid between them. Neither of them had the guts to come clean about them, but they both knew something was still missing.

Augustine’s realization came when he felt funny after hanging out with Winnie for a while. The taller had gotten tired after their outing, falling asleep on him at some point during their conversation. He didn’t notice at first, too distracted going on about some topic that came up. He was a man of strong opinions, and those opinions he was gonna tell.

He only noticed when the sound of soft snoring reached his ears. The blond was fully leaned up against him, sound asleep.

This was..the most relaxed Augustine saw him in some time. It had been a long time since they were in a position like that, he never counted, though.

He couldn’t help but stare, a̶d̶m̶i̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ looking at the other. He had changed over the years (obviously), both mentally and physically as expected. He was a lot taller now, as opposed to the little height difference they had as children. Despite that and his generally bigger build, he still carried that gentle air around him, something he welcomed, really. A threatening Winnie didn’t sound very entertaining, he’d know by now.

Only after Winnie left did he realize how much..lighter? He had felt it. Something was different, but not in the same way as before. It was good, or at least so he thought. It didn’t feel suffocating or unfamiliar.

…He had fallen again, hadn’t he?

Augustine tried to push that thought away for days, as the thought of it made his brain hurt too much to think about it. He couldn’t be bothered and quite frankly preferred to ignore the existence of those feelings as a whole! And so that's what he did.

Winnie would move soon, the feelings would fade, they’d go back to just being best friends and he’d NEEEVER have to think about it again!

..or that's what he’d hoped, and oh how wrong he was.

The days passed fast. Faster than they should have, both of them hated it but time wouldn’t slow down for them. Afterall, it’s their own fault they didn’t speak for a long time, they lost their spark and almost burned down their friendship entirely out of their own stupidity.

That's why it didn’t feel real when they had to say goodbye. They may have nearly split apart, but they were always near. Winnie never felt as comfortable as he did with Augustine around anyone else, and Augustine never felt complete without him there.

It made his stomach churn.

“Don’t you dare end up falling down another set of stairs in that college will you? I can’t help you there to pay this back” The brunette half heartedly complained, visibly struggling to come up with anything to say.

“I won’t, I won't! You don’t set things on fire in exchange, deal?” Winnie giggled.

“That was ONE time-”

“One too many!~”

The sound of a car horn cut Augustine off before he could throw a witty response back at his companion, Winnie’s parents telling them to hurry up before they were late.

Whatever happy mood they were in dissipated as fast as it originally came along, both of them going silent.

“..You’ll come back eventually, right?” Augustine asked in a voice far quieter, smaller, than Winnie ever wanted to hear from him. It wasn’t right.

“Of course I will!” he shot back almost immediately, almost offended the other thought that at all. Really who did he take him for?

“Good, who else would praise elks for existing the same way you do every christmas?” Going back to the previous atmosphere and feel of their conversation felt better than keeping the heavy feeling their goodbye gave. At least one last bit of entertainment for them.

Though it couldn’t last long, Winnie’s parents were clearly getting impatient to the point both boys saw it without sparing them more than a simple glance.

“They’re still better than your bears, but we might need to continue this conversation another time, being late is hardly ideal for moving again, you know?” Although it was meant to be a joke, Winnie’s tone failed to convey that, sounding more down than anything.

“Stay safe on the car ride then you idiot”

“That's hardly up to me,but I can try?”

“Good, I’ll never let it go in the afterlife if you don’t” The eyeroll Augustine did could be felt, without even looking at him.

“I get it I get it, goodbye for now then? I’ll be back as soon as possible, I promise you” Tone changing from his usual up-beat one, Winnie gave his friend the last hug they would have for a long time.

Augustine didn’t hesitate to return the hug, hardly keeping himself together at all.

“I guess so”

“Do you not even want to say anything to me anymore? Im hurt</3”

Augustine sighed, his mind felt like too much of a wreck to process the events that followed.

They both had to separate as Winnie walked to his parents’ car, whatever washed over Agustine really decided to do so at the worst time possible because not even a moment after the other had turned around, he found himself blurting out the one sentence he was trying to avoid and forget about for months.

‘I love you’

Every part of him that hoped Winnie didn’t hear him was let down as he paused and turned to look at the brunette, who was processing the fact those words came out of his lips at all.

Opposed to what he was expecting, the one in blue smiled at him with a smile more genuine than he has ever seen from him.

“That will be something else we talk about when I come back” he said, voice maintaining the calm feel it carried with it earlier in the conversation.

“I- uhm- oka. Yes, it will be” Augustine stuttered, trying to gather his nerves and thoughts as fast as possible. What was that??

“For the record, I love you too”

With that, he turned and ran to the car, not hearing whatever the other said after him. Whatever he yelled out was a topic they were to tackle later.

Finally, after 6 years of pining, Winnie no longer felt strange.

His love was requited.

#angst #fluff #ship #augustine orlov #cold front #cold front augustine #cold front game #cold front winnie #winnie bosko #augwin #fanfiction #fanfic

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asukamood · 2 months

Text

Together [1] (fmaa2)

***

The lore of this AT is so thick you have no clue how much Jay and I have been working on it. Anyway, you are once again about to read a part of the story that is not included in the “main storyline.” As a reminder, the main storyline is mostly about Dream and Blue’s arranged marriage.

You may have wondered what Hacker and Blue were here and how they met, this is the story of how they became best friends. You guys better buckle up because this is far from being a happy story. (Very long as well, this is only the first part.)

If you have yet to, I do encourage you to read the post “Target Syndrome (EX).” It will help you understand Hacker’s condition in the story, though it is important to note that the diagnosis here was done a bit differently considering the lack of magic in this world.

As a heads-up, I would like to point out that I am not saying that all psych wards mistreat their patients nor am I saying that all psych wards treat their patients wonderfully. This story is still fictional, do remember that.

This specific psych ward did not respect normal procedure (for one) and will later be closed for patient mistreatment so do not think that this is the norm of psych ward.

***

Warnings: Mentioned physical abuse (here disguised as self-harm), self-harm (cutting), eating disorder (anorexia), mentioned suicide attempt/ideation, psych ward setting (with patient mistreatment), very strongly implied depression, light description of injuries, blood, violence, borderline sexual harassment [the character has no intention to do anything of the sort but her words may be interpreted that way], mentioned sexual abuse

Synopsis: When, during one of his most violent outbursts, Papyrus had threatened to isolate Blue in a psych ward to show how much worse he could make him as he was struck down to the floor, Blue had no idea he would actually go through the idea.

So, when he found himself standing in front of a nurse in the hospital, telling him to strip, he could hardly believe he was not hallucinating.

***

When, during one of his most violent outbursts, Papyrus had threatened to isolate Blue in a psych ward to show how much worse he could make him as he was struck down to the floor, Blue had no idea he would actually go through the idea.

So, when he found himself standing in front of a nurse in the hospital, telling him to strip, he could hardly believe he was not hallucinating.

The nurse, a woman in her thirties who looked old enough to be in her fifties instead, glared as Blue stayed motionless. “What are you waiting for? I don’t have all day and you're not the only patient I have to see so I would appreciate it if you were to hurry up.”

“Ah- Excuse me but is this really--” He was unbelievably uncomfortable but the nurse, instead of softening her features at the sight of a poor 16-year-old boy so distressed, only had her eyes narrowed even more.

“If you keep stalling, I’m going to have to do it myself.” She hissed, tapping her finger on the wooden tablet on her lap.

That finally prompted him into action, reluctantly taking off his shirt. After he was done removing his clothes, the woman got up from her seat, looking him up and down before he heard her count aloud.

Was she... was she counting his scars?

After she seemed satisfied, she handed him a shoebox, telling him to change into the gown he would find inside. She took his outdoor clothes from him, along with his scarf.

“Can I not keep my scarf at least? It’s quite important to me--” He asked before he was rudely shut down again.

“Unless you want to know in advance how our sedatives feel, you can’t.” She simply replied, walking toward a bunch of drawers. She opened one of them, throwing his belongings inside before locking them up. “You’ll get it back after you’re discharged, now get moving. As I said, I don’t have all day.”

That is how he found himself being led by two staff members; their faces expressionless. Similarly, to their colleague, they seemed unwilling to answer his questions or even look his way. It was almost like they had been tasked with walking a dog instead of a human being. Blue tried to stay positive, telling himself that these two at least were not actively threatening him.

He had a feeling it would not last long. Although, he decided to ignore the thought for the moment.

Eventually, they stopped in front of a door leading to which he assumed would be his room. One of the psych techs handed him a binder labelled “Unit rules,” urging him to read it carefully. The other opened the door, explaining that he would be sharing his room with another patient who would be the one explaining how life worked in the facility.

He would have been fine with that if his roommate was not dangerous to him at least.

He stepped inside the room, checking his surroundings. The space they had was quite limited but sufficient for two people. The beds were each pushed against the opposite wall of each other, while what looked like a closet was placed against the wall facing the entrance, next to the window. A small desk filled the other corner of the room.

Each piece of furniture was either secured to the ground or the wall, leaving no place hidden for the staff. On his left, a door leading to what he assumed to be the bathroom stood there, slightly ajar.

Although, his attention was more attracted to the boy sitting on one of the beds, a nurse standing before him, holding his arm. Blond with some brown strands at the back of his head, dark blue eyes underlined by heavy eyebags, pale and young-looking, he looked... tired.

He was wearing a long-sleeved gown just like Blue himself was, but one of said sleeves was rolled up, revealing the poor state of his forearm. It was covered with both old and fresh cuts, some of which were even covered with concerning bruises. At the sight of the cuts, Blue involuntarily let out a gag, attracting the attention of both the nurse and the boy.

One of the psych techs narrowed his eye at him, telling him to better control himself. He nodded, not risking another look in fear of ending up throwing up. The nurse just rolled her eyes, pressing a syringe onto the patient, taking a little blood from him.

The boy was heard wincing, the grimace on his face easily guessable.

Blue waited until the nurse had left the room before risking a glance forward, the blond one waving in his direction with a small smile before he stood up to meet him. As he expected, he had rolled down his sleeves again, hiding the scars underneath the fabric.

“Hello!” He beamed. “You must be my new roommate, what’s your name?”

“You can call me Blue--” One of the psych techs cleared his throat before he had the chance to ask for the other’s name.

“He was asking for your real name, kid.” He sighed, looking away.

“My name is Lucian.” He has always hated that name, why did he have to be called that even here anyway?

Unexpectedly though, the other just smiled. “Hi Blue!” He glanced at the psych tech who only glared at him before taking his leave. “I’m Theodore, I’m glad to meet you!”

“As am I.”

“I’ve never seen you before, are you new here or did I just not notice you?” he asked, studying his face.

“I got here a few minutes ago.” He answered, grimacing as he recalled the behavior of that nurse. “The two others told me that you would explain how it was like here?”

Theodore raised an eyebrow, surprised. “They did?” He scoffed. “Actually, it doesn’t surprise me that they would make me do their work in their stead, oh well!”

“Did they give you the shoebox?” To answer him, Blue simply lifted the box in his hands. “Okay, perfect. You are in luck, we’re in our free period so nobody should bother us while we’re talking.”

Blue raised an eyebrow. “A free period?”

“They didn’t explain that to you either? Our life here is heavily monitored and rhythmed by a schedule we all follow.” He walked over to the desk, picking up a notebook Blue assumed was his. He flipped a few pages in front of Blue, ignoring most torn pages. He finally stopped on the last page that he showed Blue.

“In the morning, the staff takes your vitals which really means that they check your temperature, your blood, your bpm, and other stuff like that. After that is done, you’ll be led to the cafeteria to have breakfast--” Blue grimaced at the mention of the meal, already dreading it. “-- and you’ll follow up with an activity. It depends on the day but most of the time, you’ll be given free time.”

He nodded, showing he was following. “At noon, we’ll have lunch then free time, so what we are having right now, and then we’ll be sent to group activities.”

Blue tilted his head to the side in confusion, group activities?

Theodore smiled. “I had the exact same reaction as you when I was told that. Basically, we’ll be put in small groups with a psych tech who’ll make us read the unit rules and then talk about ourselves and stuff like that.”

“... That sounds extremely boring and uncomfortable.” Theodore nodded in agreement.

“You could not be righter. Did they tell you in which group you’ll be with today?” Blue shook his head, making Theodore frown again. Judging by the other’s reaction, it was clear that this was once again information he should have gotten but was not told of. He wondered just how many times this would happen today.

“I’ll just ask if you can join my group later then.” He scribbled something in his notebook along these lines with a... crayon?

Noticing his staring, the other laughed. “Yeah, they don’t let us use real pens because they’re worried about us trying to hurt ourselves with those.”

“I see...” That would also explain how thin these blankets look. Blue did hear something about the presence of ‘anti-suffocation’ blankets in wards. He never thought he would one day find himself using one of those.

“If the two thirds of the day are quite boring, nighttime is a bit more chill. We start off with dinner, then a shower--” He interrupted himself midway, looking around. Under Blue’s confused gaze, Theodore walked over to the door before closing it, motioning for him to come closer.

He did so as the other leaned in next to his ear.

“You’re honestly better off not washing your hair, the shampoo here is awful.” He whispered with the voice of someone who had learned that the hard way, before backing away again. “The bathroom is over there.” He pointed toward the door Blue had noticed upon his arrival, confirming his theory.

“There is no lock on the door since the staff is going to check up on you every once in a while, to make sure you’re not trying to drown yourself in there.” He added, making Blue’s heart drop.

“They... can enter at any moment?” He must have looked distraught as he said that, if the sympathetic look the other gave him was any indication of that.

“Pretty much yes, but there is nothing to worry about, there is a shower curtain, so you only need to pop your head out when they are there. Besides, I will always be right outside so if there is any problem, I will gladly throw hands.” He pat his shoulder, a dangerous look in his eyes. That look was kind of scary, but he supposed he didn’t mind it that much, considering he had said that to defend him.

“Right... You also spoke of the staff taking vitals in the morning I believe?” Theodore nodded. “Yet I just saw you get a sample of your blood taken and it is well past noon, why is that?”

Theodore smiled sheepishly, chuckling nervously. “It’s a bit hard to explain but let’s just say I’m a... ‘Special case.’”

Blue opened his mouth to ask him to elaborate, his interest piqued, but the other quickly changed the subject, this time gesturing toward the beds. “You probably noticed them before but those are ‘anti-suffocation’ blankets or, as I like to call them, ‘anti-warmth’ blankets.”

He made a grimace as he said it, grabbing one of said blankets and letting it fall to the bed again. “You can’t request for proper blankets, trust me, I’ve tried, but if it really is that bad some nurses do accept to give you painkillers to get through the night.”

Blue was not sure he quite liked the implication of the last phrase.

“During the day, you might be interrupted in your free time to talk to a therapist, a doctor, or any certified mental health professional. Most of the time, they ask you basic questions like ‘have you had thoughts of harming yourself or others the last 2 weeks?’ or to rate your emotions on a scale of 1 to 10. Though, since you are a newbie, they might ask you more personal questions.”

“You seemed to know your way around here quite well.” He remarked. “If I may ask, how long have you been here for?”

Theodore tapped his chin in thought. “... Which month are we again?”

“April.” He replied.

“Oh, then it must be my 4th month here since I’m still 14.” Oh, so Theodore was younger than him by two years.

“That... sounds like hell.” Theodore laughed, nodding in confirmation.

“Oh, it is, but there is not much I can do about it.” He walked past him to open the door. He gestured toward the hallway. “There is nothing left to see here, let me introduce you to the others and show you around!”

Blue gladly followed him. “What are you even here for?” Considering what he had seen earlier, he was quite certain severe self-harm was on the list, but he was quite curious to find out whether it was the only reason he was there.

The hall was mostly silent as they walked, which was quite surprising for Blue as he had more so expected to hear screams or at least a cry. Not that he was complaining though.

“You know, we’re not supposed to be talking about that kind of stuff.” He warned, eyeing a tech who was passing by. Then, quieter. “We always find a way to anyway but I’m mainly here for self-harm, sexual abuse and a bunch of lies.”

Blue nodded. “What about you?”

“Ah well...” He looked around, just like Theodore did previously, before sliding his thumb horizontally across his throat. He did not have to know the real reason for his internment here, it was probably fine if he lied for a bit.

“Ooooh, gotcha.” He gave him a thumbs-up before opening two large doors.

“We’re here!” Theordore announced as they stepped into the room. Unlike the hallway, this room boasted life; many patients were sat down, most playing cards. “This is the main area of the facility and one of the rooms you will spend the most time in apart from our room. During free time, we are mostly free to distract ourselves and during nighttime they typically bring us here to watch a movie together.”

Blue let his eyes travel around the room, focusing on studying the people reunited around the tables. “How would you describe the others?”

“Most of them are nice.” Theodore replied without much hesitation, following Blue’s gaze. “We are all pretty much in the same boat, fighting similar battles so you can say that we are pretty close to one another.” Blue nodded.

Since he had spent so long not able to interact with people, Blue never had many friends. He had a feeling this stay here was going to be a living hell, but maybe he could try to make a few friends?

He was about to ask another question before a girl, about their age, jumped on Theodore. “Theo!” She laughed, hugging him for a few seconds before letting go of the startled teen. “Nice to see you back, how was it?”

Theodore quickly regained his composure, shrugging at her question. “It was average, pretty much what always happened.”

She chuckled again, seemingly not having listened to a word he said. “Glad to hear that, anyway I gotta go, toodaloo!” she said, planting a kiss on his cheek, much to Blue’s surprise, before running off again.

“...Who was that?”

“That was Ella, she’s probably in a manic episode again.” He calmly replied. “She won’t remember she did when she goes back to her depressive episode so you shouldn’t place too much importance on that.”

“Right.” After that, Theodore led him to a small group of people playing hanging man (here called standing man because it was ‘too inappropriate.’)

It was going to take him some time to adjust to this life but at least his roommate seemed to be nice. He could not ask for much anyway.

He hated it here.

Get him out of here.

***

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