#‘I thought you hated potatoes so you’re a liar’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thebrunettemuse · 2 years

Text

pureblood princess

pairing: james potter x fem!reader (slytherin and pureblood)

part: one , two , three

summary: james had never really noticed you, not until you came back to your seventh year pretty and was sat next to him in defense against the dark arts.

a/n: so i’ve decided to make up this complex story in my head and if i don’t write it i think my head might explode. anyways enjoy this heart aching story, this will definitely be a series. not proofread OKAY BYE ENJOY

James Potter had never noticed you, he was too wrapped up in Lily Evans to even look in your direction. But when he got on the train, ready for his seventh and final year at Hogwarts he watched as you entered in through the door. He had always seen you as the pureblood that he found quite annoying, but this moment? The sun hitting your face and brightening it up as you smiled at one of your friends, well— his heart sunk.

He wanted to say hi, but you brushed passed his shoulder to go and find your usual friends in their usual compartment. Yet his eyes lingered, he couldn’t look away.

Throughout the day he found himself searching the crowd of incoming students to find you, just as he did for Lily all these years. All he could think to himself was how he had wasted the past six years pining after a girl who didn’t even look in his direction when you were right there.

“James, who are you looking for?” Sirius asked as they sat in the Great Hall for dinner.

“Hm?” James looked over, being pulled from his thoughts while he looked over the Slytherin table a million times and still couldn’t seem to find you. “Oh— no one.” he shook his head.

“Liar.” Remus smirked, looking down at his food which made James furrow his eyebrows in response.

“Excuse me?” He laughed a bit, trying to cover up the fact this his friends were onto him.

“By this time every year you’re sat next to Lily Evans flirting with the poor girl, so why are you sitting with us and looking at the—” Sirius took a moment to follow his previous line of sight. “the Slytherin table?” he found himself shocked with what he found, his mouth turning into a confused frown.

“I’m not looking at the Slytherin table.” James lied, his eyes rolling before looking back down to pick at his food.

“Right..” Sirius slowly nodded.

“I’m not!” James tried to defend, but it came off more aggressive than he had originally hoped for, his own actions immediately throwing himself under the bus.

“Woah— calm down. We’re just messing with you.” Remus laughed lightly and James stared at him with his lids lowered before he scoffed and shoved a spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth. He hated mashed potatoes of course, but anything to keep himself from tattling on— well, himself.

The next day he had DADA class first thing in the morning, sitting at his assigned seat towards the back of his class, something he was grateful for because he could do his usual in class shenanigans. But— as soon as he was starting to get used to his new seat, the chair beside him was pulled out, and none other than you had sat down next to him.

He watched in shock as you set your books down and took your seat, slowly looking over at the dark curly haired boy who sat next to you. You looked confused as to why he was looking at you the way he was.

“Do you need something, Potter?” you asked, his last name falling off your tongue with ease and he had wished for nothing more than for you to say his first name.

“Oh— uhh.” he stammered, why was he freezing? He never froze, he was James Potter for Merlin’s sake. The king of flirting, so this was very unusual for him. Say something. Anything.

“Nope, everything’s good.” he breathed out finally, looking away awkwardly. Why did he have to be so awkward? He was ruining his chances with you, which were already very slim considering who you were, who your family was.

Pureblood family, strictly Slytherin. Just like Sirius’ family. You were what some called the pureblood princess, untouchable unless you were raised just as you were. James definitely wasn’t, but that wasn’t going to stop him. Hopefully..

“Good, I was beginning to think you didn’t like me sitting here.” you joked, something you didn’t do very often. In fact you were usually very quiet, really only spoke when you were spoken to. Just as you were taught growing up.

“Oh no, you can sit here— I mean I want you to sit here..” he stuttered again, but looked back up at you again.

“I have to sit here.” you smiled, this playful smile that made his heart skip a beat and he laughed lightly.

“Right yeah, I suppose you do.” he motioned towards the seating chart displayed on the chalkboard in front of the room.

You scoffed, shaking you head before looking down at your DADA book, opening it up and tucking your hair behind your ear to expose a bit more of your face.

The entire class James was trying to find some excuse to talk to you, yet he couldn’t find any reason to. Only small stolen glances in your direction, watching as you paid attention to the professor and wrote little notes with a quill on a blank sheet of paper.

Then class had ended, and just as soon as you came, you left. James sat for a moment, leaning back in his seat and sighing audibly before standing up and walking into the hallway.

“When did you start getting whipped for Y/N?” Remus appeared beside James, which he sighed in relief seeing who it was.

“Merlin, you scared me Moony.” he rolled his eyes.

“Well, are you gonna answer me?” he asked.

“I’m not whipped for Y/L/N.” he stared forward, not wanting to look at Remus because he knew his face would betray him once again, just as it did the night before.

“Right, you can lie all you want but I saw you staring at her that entire class when Lily was sitting right in front of you.” Remus exposed him. “Better not tell Sirius, he’d get pissed if he found out you like a girl like Y/N.” he warned his friend.

“I’m not, so you have nothing to worry about.” James defended his actions, but he knew he had been caught.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Remus teased.

The rest of the day he couldn’t stop thinking about you, the face you make when your focused and how you smiled at him at the beginning of class. He tossed and turned in his sleep thinking about it, groaning as he shoved his pillow over his face in frustration. It was like his crush on Lily but a million times worse and he couldn’t understand why. Why was he suddenly so head over heels for the pureblood princess?

The following weeks seemed to go by rather slowly and he tried to blame it on him just being ready to finish school, but in reality you were stuck in this special little place in the back of his mind. He saw you in the library every Thursday, his day to study and catch up on homework before the weekend.

You had barely spoken to him too, randomly asking for a quill when you forgot one, him asking for a piece of parchment paper when he had ran out. Helping answer questions for each other when the two of you got a bit confused, but that was it.

Lily even spoke to him more than you did, and yet every time him and the red head would talk he didn’t get the same feeling the previous years when the girl gave him attention, he had secretly wished it was you talking to him.

But after almost a month of little words exchanged, something had changed, he had stood up for you.

It was in DADA, the class was learning about the Imperius when a Ravenclaw students decided to make a very mean joke towards you.

“Alright students, today we will be learning about the curse that controls the mind. It is called the Imperius curse, it is very dangerous and it is very important you know how to protect yourself from it.” the professor explained.

“Protect ourselves from it, or from people like Y/N’s family?” the witty Ravenclaw girl spoke up. James looked up from his book towards the girl, then towards you. Usually when someone made a sly comment like that you would fire something mean back, but your face told a different story.

Tears filled your eyes and you looked at the girl who had a smirk on her face. “Now that’s quite enough, Miss. Golding.” the professor warned.

“That was a real bitch move, Grace.” James said towards the girl, which caused you to look at him in shock. Was James Potter really standing up to the Ravenclaw to defend you? He had ignored your every move for years and yet here he was actually being nice. Shocking, to say the least.

“That’s detention for you, Mr. Potter.” the professor sighed.

“That’s not fair, Grace said something first.” James defended his actions.

“Okay, detention for you too, Miss. Golding.” the Ravenclaw sighed.

James looked over at you and shot a small smile on your direction, you smiled back.

After class you found James in the library studying and approached the table he sat at by himself. “Hey, uh—” you started awkwardly. “Thanks for defending me in class earlier, you really didn’t have to do that.” you smiled.

“Of course.” he said softly, a small smile on his face as well.

“Sorry you got detention.” you pressed your lips into a line. You really did feel bad, and felt like it wasn’t deserved that he got detention for standing up for another student when they couldn’t.

“It’s okay, it was worth it.” he shrugged and leaned in a bit closer. “Between you and me Grace is a pain in the ass.” he joked, earning a breathy laugh from you.

“Yeah, she is.” you nodded. “Do you usually study alone?” you asked. James froze yet again.

“Uh— yeah. Usually.” he looked down.

“Do you care if I sit?” you questioned, motioning to the chair on the side of the table next to him.

“What? Oh, no. Not at all.” he motioned towards it. “Please.” he came off as desperate, mentally face palming.

“Okay.” you laughed again, sitting down and setting your books in front of you. The two of you spent an hour sitting side by side in silence, and every once in a while he peaked over his book to take a look at you. He couldn’t help it, you really were those one of a kind girls.

“James!” he heard his name get called, looking over to see who the feminine voice was. Lily Evans, of course it was. How come when he finally was moving on she seemed to appear more often?

“Lily.” he nodded towards her as she approached him. “Can I study with you?” she asked, her eyes darting over at you and then back at James. You stared up at her for a moment.

“Oh, look at the time! I best get going before my friends start wondering where I am.” you said, gathering your things and shoving them into you arms. “See you around, Potter.” you smiled in his direction before walking off.

“See— see you.” he muttered to himself, finding himself watching as you left.

“James?” Lily called, snapping him out of his gaze.

“Yeah? Oh, yes! You can sit, study— yeah.” he nodded before looking down at his book. But he didn’t steal glances at Lily, in fact he stayed glued to his DADA boom instead.

Every Thursday after that the two of you sat in the library and studied for an hour, and every single time Lily would come in and ask to study, and every single time you would leave when she did.

You knew Lily Evans didn’t like you that much, not very many people did. It was hard to like someone who came from the background you did, you understood that. What you couldn’t understand is why James Potter was suddenly being so nice to you? It was like a switch in his brain flipped over the summer, his usual cold demeanor towards you turned into a warm and welcoming one.

So one day as you sat reading next to James, he finally spoke to you, causing you to look up from the notes you were writing. “What are you doing this weekend?” he asked.

“What?” you asked shocked.

“What are you doing this weekend?” he repeated and you stared for a moment completely dumbfounded. You set down your quill.

“I’m not sure.” you shrugged, because you weren’t sure. You usually sat in the Slytherin common room with your friends and talked about your week with each other, talked about your families or sat in silence. It was boring.

“Wanna go for a walk around the Black Lake?” he asked casually.

“Why? You’re not going to push me in or anything, right?” you joked and he laughed.

“No, I’m not going to push you in.” he smiled.

“So— why then?” you repeated.

“Sirius and Remus are going on a date, Peter is hanging out with Marlene, and I like to go on walks with my friends on the weekends.” he shrugged.

“Oh so we’re friends now?” you teased.

“Of course! We sit with each other every Thursday and next to each other everyday in class.” he explained further.

“I will go if you answer one question for me.” you decided.

“Shoot.” he leaned back in his chair.

“What happened?” you asked, he furrowed his eyebrows, unsure of what exactly you were asking. “I mean, something must’ve happened over the summer. Before you used to hate me, and tease me.” you explained.

“So what happened? Why are you defending me now and hanging out with me?” you looked at him. James thought for a moment.

“I don’t know, I guess I changed my mind— about you.” he looked at you, his face relaxed as he searched for any reaction on your face.

“Changed your mind what about me exactly?” you dived deeper.

“I already answered your question, are you in or not?” he asked.

“James.” you warned, earning a sigh from him. He really didn’t want to have to ever explain this to you.

“You, your family, they stand for everything I’m against.” he replied honestly. “But at the beginning of the year when you walked onto that train, I don’t know how to explain it but, you changed. You looked really well, happy. Very unlike your family.”

“Classic me, came back to seventh year all pretty.” you joked, looking away, but his words stung. All these years he saw you just as everyone else did. Your unforgiving last name revealing who you were supposed to be.

“Not just pretty, Y/N, you looked happy.” he reiterated. You looked back up at him. “Besides, you’ve always been pretty. I was too sucked up in the rumors to notice it.” he looked at you deeply, like he was the first person in this entire school to see you.

“What about Lily Evans, is she too busy?” you questioned.

“I don’t know.” he shrugged, he was being honest. He hadn’t asked Lily what she was doing. “I asked you what you were doing, not Evans.” he smiled.

“Okay, I’ll go to the lake this weekend. But I swear if you push me in—” you started to get defensive but James only laughed.

“I’m not gonna push you in. What, are you afraid of water?” he teased.

“I can’t swim, and I’m not just saying that to sound cute. Like I would literally die if I fell in the water.” you replied honestly.

“Then I would save you.”

#james potter x reader #james potter x slytherin!reader #james potter imagine #james potter fluff #james potter angst #james potter x fem!reader #james potter

2K notes · View notes

findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

Text

Dream SMP Recap (March 1/2021) - Breaking Point

Sam has been unable to find a cause for the security breach, leaving Tommy trapped. A heated argument in the cell escalates to a horrifying end.

As the rest of server mourns, the Eggpire celebrates. With their biggest obstacle in the way of their objective gone, it’s time for the next step.

It’s the start of the Final Stage.

---

VOD LINKS:

HBomb94

Ponk

Tommy

Tubbo

Ranboo

Jack Manifold

Connor

Badboyhalo

Captain Puffy

---

- HBomb hosts Foolish and Jack Manifold’s episode of L’Cast!

---

The Prison Stream

(This portion of the recap will be more detailed than normal since it’s one long conversation and there are many important lines here, including a couple that were hard to hear during the stream)

---

- Tommy’s stream starts with him making sounds and singing “Roadtrip.” Dream tells him to stop, he’s trying to write a book.

Tommy: “What are you writing, Dream? What are you writing?”

Dream: “None of your business.”

- There’s a little gray and white cat sat on the chest. Tommy says it’s annoying.

Dream: “No he’s not...he’s actually the best thing that’s happened to us.”

Tommy: (Trying to lead the cat away) “Come with me, come with me...you know what I named him, don’t you? Pussboy, Pussboy!”

- The cat returns to its spot on the chest

Tommy: “Oh, Pussboy, you are so ugly.”

Dream: “C’mon, you’re being mean!”

(Tommy punches the cat)

Dream: “Tommy! Stop!”

- Tommy starts singing “Roadtrip” in autotune. Dream tells Tommy that if he can be quiet, he’ll give Tommy more potatoes.

Dream: “I think that...the cat is the best thing that’s happened to us.”

- Sam joins the call to say hello and ask how it’s been going. He’s come to drop more food into the cell. Tommy also picks up a new clock.

- Tommy asks to be let out, but Sam says he still hasn’t found out what the security issue is. Dream asks how long Tommy will be in here for. Potentially for a while, but not forever.

- Tommy protests about how bad the prison has been. He threatens to get lawyers on Sam, he knows Big Law.

Tommy: "Sam...you know I don’t deal very well in...close quarters situations for a long time, Sam. Sam, you remember when you visited me in exile, Sam? Alright, this is worse than that, Sam...let me out. I don’t like this. Let. Me. Out. Sam.”

- Sam insists he’s doing the best he can and leaves.

- Dream tries to say that it’s not that bad. He’s been in there for a long time, but now it’s better! Tommy writes a book to Dream, signs it and throws it to him.

Dream: “I have company. I have a cat -- I mean, technically it’s not my cat, technically it’s your cat, but still! It’s just as good, keeps me company when I write and everything, we talk sometimes -- ‘cause you’re annoying a lot of the time--”

- Dream throws away the clock in the lava, saying they don’t need it. Tommy punches the cat again.

Dream: “Tommy, hear me out, hear me out...what if...we get out together, okay?”

- Tommy is not a fan of the idea, Dream shouldn’t be let out too. He goes over to the cat and shouts at it for being in his spot. He punches Pussboy twice.

Dream: “Tommy...TOMMY, STOP!”

Tommy: “Excuse me! Come this way, come this way, excuse me Dream I’m trying to right-click Pussboy--”

(Dream moves to get in front of the cat)

Dream: “Tommy.”

Tommy: “Come here, come here! Do you like this cat, Dream?”

Dream: “Yes, I do.”

Tommy: “Why?”

Dream: “Because he -- Tommy, he keeps me company --”

(Tommy punches Pussboy again and leads him towards the lava)

Tommy: “Pussboy, this way. Pussboy, this way. Let me show you the light--”

Dream: “He’s probably low, he’s probably low!”

Tommy: “Oh what, you love him? Do you love him? Do you love him?”

Dream: “Yes, I do...Tommy, he’s made things better in here -- okay listen! When you leave, can you sit him down and leave him here?”

(Tommy goes over and punches Pussboy again. He tries to lead Pussboy away again, but when the cat doesn’t come he punches Pussboy twice more, killing him)

Tommy: “Yeah. And that’s what happens when you love something, bitch.”

...

Tommy: “See, now when I leave, when I leave, you’ll have nothing! ‘Cause you are lonely, and you’re m-m-manipulative, you’re a fuckin’ twat, and I mean that.”

Dream: “Tommy...I’m gonna get out! And you just motivated me -- you motivated me all the time, you just -- that was hope, right? The cat was hope -- the cat was hope that I could live a nice life in here--”

Tommy: “And now it’s dead, now it’s dead.”

- Dream insists that he’ll get out, and when he does, he’ll get his revenge on everyone who wronged him. Tommy asks if he’d kill Tubbo.

- The subject goes back to Dream’s plan of escape.

Dream: “I have a plan. And the thing is, Awesamdude’s never gonna believe you that I have a plan because he thinks it’s unbreakable, unescapable--”

“I have a plan. And you know, there’s a certain someone who owes me a favor, but -- that might be a part of it, but...I do have a plan.”

- They argue about the conditions of the prison again.

Dream: “I’ve been in here a for hundred times longer than you, and you sit there trying to tell me that it’s so horrible, that it’s so bad -- yeah, it was! But guess what, we have each other to talk to, and we had a cat until you fucking killed it!”

Tommy: “Dream...Dream, and listen to this -- fucking engrave this on you, write this into your arms, Dream...You don’t have me. You’ll never have me. We don’t have each other, alright? I am me, and you are this fuckin’ loser who goes around manipulating people, lying to get what he wants. You are a fuckin’ no one, man, alright? And when I’m going to leave here, you’re not! You might have a favor -- you think, who is it, Technoblade’s gonna be able to come in here to let you out -- Technoblade, he doesn’t like governments, but he likes self gain! You think he wants to piss off the owner of the most POWERFUL building on the entire server, just so that he can get a video that BARELY scrapes the five million view mark -- NO, Dream, alright? You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you’re deluded, you’re delusional, and I fuckin’ hate you.”

Dream: “Okay...yeah, but I have something Techno would want, so...it means knowledge, alright?”

- Dream says that even when he’s in here, he’s more powerful than Tommy outside. Tommy replies that if he wanted to, he could kill Dream right now. The only reason he doesn’t is because they need the revive book.

- Dream says that he will never use the revive book to help Tommy or his friends. Ever.

Dream: “So kill me. Go ahead, come on.”

- When if Tubbo dies, Dream says, they’ll come begging for Tubbo to be revived, and Dream will ask to be let out.

- Tommy then says that this isn’t worse than exile, because in exile, Tommy thought Dream had all the power, and Tommy knows something...he thinks the revive book isn’t real. Jschlatt was just a drunk, why would he have this book?

Dream: “Jschlatt gave me the book -- why else would I switch to Jschlatt’s side?!”

...

“I’m not lying! Jschlatt gave me a revive book after...before he died....because...he said--” (he cuts off here)

- Dream asks why he would be lying about that.

Tommy: “You’re a liar! You’re a liar, and really, through your Netherite armor and skin, I look at you and you know what I see? I see a sad little man who’s insecure about the fact that this server has gotten so far ahead of him that his only little glimpse of power in this world is gone. And I see an insecure, sad little man. So fuck off. You stupid green lad.”

Dream: “Your life...is literally in my hands. Does that piss you off? Does that make you mad? Does that make you so mad that I -- if you kill me -- I MIGHT AS WELL BE A GOD, TOMMY! YOU CAN’T KILL ME, AND I CAN KILL YOU! So what does it mean, that you can’t kill me because of the revive book -- what does that mean? If you can’t kill me, does that make me some kind of god?”

Tommy: “No Dream. I could kill you right now. If I wanted to.”

Dream: “Okay. But you won’t. But you won’t! I could kill you if I wanted to! I could kill you right now, actually.”

...

Tommy: “I don’t think this revive book is real. Schlatt? He’s fuckin’ dead. I’ve seen his grave! His grave is real, his corpse is there!”

Dream: “Okay...Why don’t you go see him then?”

Tommy: “NO -- stop it stop it stop it st--”

--- ---

CANON DEATH: TOMMY

Cause: Punched to death

--- ---

End of stream.

---

- Tubbo, Ranboo and Jack see Tommy’s death message in game chat.

- They go to the prison and Sam is there to tell them what happened. Sam couldn’t get there in time. He didn’t think Dream would actually kill him. They’re all in shock.

- Tubbo and Ranboo think Tommy will be back. There’s no way he’s actually dead, right?

- Jack Manifold is in celebration. He got what he wanted! He thought Dream would want Tommy alive, and killing Tommy himself would be an extra jab in the chest for Dream, but apparently not? And now he has a hotel!

- He decides to check on Tubbo and makes sure he’s okay.

- Jack walks down to the shore and looks up at the prison, and...it hits him. He’s spent months plotting to kill Tommy. Jack realizes his victory feels hollow. Even now, Tommy and Dream have managed to take away this from him.

- Of Ze Haus, he says that this place no longer means anything to him. He gets a flint and steel and sets it alight, watching it burn.

- He passes by Tommy’s house and finds Ranboo planting red and white flowers outside.

- Jack switches into his L’manburg uniform and walks along the Prime Path.

Jack: “I remember the day I joined the server. The day after the first war. L’manburg was still a big hole, and we built it up. And Tommy invited me to join. And I betrayed him (laughs), so really this has all come full circle.”

“Maybe I was always really just upset because I always felt like he cared more about the discs than...anyone. And I guess I just enjoyed it when we were friends...and...I’ve not really had any friends...since...then, really. Never really wanted any.”

- Jack later speaks with Foolish and tells him that Tommy’s never coming back from prison. Foolish didn’t know him too well, but he’s still a bit sad. When anyone passes, it’s sad.

- Jack heads back out into the wilderness, wandering to the beach area at the edge of the forest where Quackity had his argument with Badboyhalo a while back. There’s something just beyond the hill.

- Quackity meets him there and escorts him back home, telling him he was heading too close to something, could have gotten “a nice view of it.”

- He’s been thinking of writing up a draft of their contract. He also sees the new McPuffy’s.

- Jack tells Quackity that Tommy’s not in the prison anymore. Quackity says they need to talk to him and make sure Jack keeps his hotel. As the rain pours, Jack tells him. Tommy didn’t make it.

- Quackity and Jack have a moment in front of Tommy’s house. Though upset, Quackity says it’s time to get back to work.

Quackity: “Jack...don’t let this affect business. The train doesn’t stop.”

Jack: “No, it only goes faster.”

- Jack also speaks with Antfrost. Antfrost gives his condolences, and says he’ll put together a celebration “of life.”

Ant: “Bad and Sam will be happy...to attend, of course!”

- Afterwards, Jack heads down into Karls nightclub and ends stream there.

- Connor speaks with Sam Nook at the hotel.

- Bad meets Ant at the Holy Land. Ant asks if the church would be a good place for a celebration. Ant sits Bad down to tell him. Bad is overjoyed.

- Bad says that now, they don’t even have to do any preparations:

They can move into the Final Stage.

- They get milk for the cake and decide to throw the party at Tommy’s house!

- They meet with Sam at the prison entrance. He sounds dejected.

Sam: “I didn’t think Dream would ever actually...try and kill him”

Bad: (laughs) “Is this the same Dream we’re talking about? It’s Dream, Sam.”

Sam: “I mean...Dream had...I thought I had...broken the will out of him, to do something like that. But he...he did.”

- He says they need to find out what it was -- he wandered around the prison several times and couldn’t find any sign that someone had done something.

- Ant and Bad try to reassure Sam that Tommy signed the waivers, he went to see Dream, and Sam shouldn’t blame himself. Sam doesn’t see it that way.

- They say they’ll talk to Sam later and leave the prison. They see Sam Nook at the hotel. Sam is excited about the new upgrades for the hotel! Tommy will be so excited to see them!

- They return to Tommy’s house and speak with Punz as they make a party floor and sing the Crab Rave song in dudududus.

- Meanwhile, Captain Puffy is grieving, feeling like she failed Tommy. As she logs on, Bad and Ant decide that Puffy might want to join them for the party!

- Punz meets them there, and they tell him that Tommy’s dead. Punz isn’t sure how he feels, it’s bittersweet.

- Puffy arrives and angrily tells them to leave. What’s wrong with them?!

- The Eggpire sees Sam Nook at the hotel and goes up the floors to find a place to party. Puffy comes up and tells them to find another place to party. They argue again.

- Foolish arrives to visit his room in the hotel. Puffy leaves them. They quarrel about who has the room for the night.

- Puffy mines down the Eggpire’s meeting room. She’s noticed that being a hero hasn’t worked. Sparing people, being merciful, it hasn’t worked. She might need a change of perspective.

- The Eggpire decides to visit the Egg and break the news to it. They see the wreckage, but Puffy is in the Nether by the time they get there.

- Puffy visits Logsted.

- The Eggpire goes down to the Egg Room and finds the pathway blocked up with obsidian...is this why the Vines have been slower to grow lately?

- They break the barrier and find the Egg drenched in water. They wake up the Egg and it speaks.

“This world is mine. It belongs to me.”

“No no no, I know, but we’ve got something to tell you!”

“I see all...I...am...all...”

“Oh so you--”

“I know all.”

“You know then! Guess -- well, we’ll tell you anyway in case you don’t know -- but guess what? Tommy’s dead! Dream -- the green guy, you met him -- killed him in the prison! I guess Tommy got stuck there, and Dream killed him! Are you happy?"

“Feed me...I require nourishment.”

“No no no, don’t worry -- that’s coming soon! We’ll take care of that! We’re already gonna begin the preparations, right guys? Yeah, we’re gonna begin the preparations, and we’ll send out the invitations, we’ll let everyone know...and the final stage can commence! This is wonderful!”

- Once on the surface, Bad announces that with a little more preparation, they’ll all get exactly what they want. The final stage is about to commence.

The day of celebrations, the day they’ve been preparing for, the day the Egg has been preparing for, is about to happen...

- Bad goes down to the Egg Room one last time and stands at the Egg to give a final speech.

“Everything leading up to this point, EVERYTHING, all the way going back to the discovery of this...beautiful, luxurious Egg, okay...we had it all planned. As soon as we found it, we knew what was gonna happen. We knew the objective...”

“We may have forgotten what it was, forgotten the ultimate goal as soon as we boxed the Egg up in obsidian. But guess what -- that didn’t stop the Egg! Boxing it up only made it STRONGER, and LARGER, and more powerful! And the Egg’s been storing up that energy, okay? You may have been thinking the Vines have not been spreading...but that’s because we haven’t WANTED them to spread. We have been working, storing energy, storing power...in preparation for the final plan. The final objective. And there were only a couple people getting in the way. But guess what? One of the biggest obstacles -- Tommy -- is no longer in the way...now that he’s not in the way, we can commence with the final stage...the final party...before it all comes to a conclusion...”

“Brace yourselves...everybody on this server, prepare. Anyone who is anti-Egg...you guys better get ready, because we know who you are. And at the end of the day, the Egg is gonna be victorious. And there’s nothing ANYBODY can do to stop it.”

“Good luck.”

#dream smp #long posts #dream smp recaps #prison arc #i apologize for not including a lot of puffy's stream :(#it's really late and this post's a mile long as is #if you see any typos no you don't /lh

610 notes · View notes

pandawithawand · 2 years

Text

“It was a lie!” The ghost stood there, dripping swamp water, barely visible in the sunlight.

“Of course it was a lie Jimmy.” Joel continued planting his potatoes.

“You just lied to them? All of them! You just lied to me?” Hurt was written plain across his face. He was trying not to cry.

“Yep.” The reply was so matter of fact, so raw and brutal.

“But what about Donkey Jeremy!? What about the Holy lands?! And Lizzie! What about her?”

“All lies. I made it up. Lizzie never found nowhere and Donkey Jeremys just a stupid donkey.”

“But... b-but..” Jimmy sniffed, blinking back tears. Everything he had thought, everything he had believed was a lie. It was a stupid lie, made up by a mad man. And he couldn’t do anything about it. He was helpless. A strangled sob came from his throat.

“Oh come on.” Joel turned from his farm to sneer at the ghost, “You gonna cry? Gonna sob? Gonna cry for your made up God to make it all better?” He huffed and turned away, “You’re such a stupid baby. I can’t believe you bought some fake words about a savour donkey. So gullible.”

It was cruel how right Joel’s words were. Jimmy was gullible. He had believed the Donkey Jeremy was a savour; he had worshipped and prayed, never once stopping to question whether it was true. He had put all he had into a false cause.

He was going to cry.

The tears started thick and fast, running down the face he no longer had and disappearing before they hit the ground. His breath hitched in his throat and his nose got all snotty. Joel ignored him.

The ghost stood there, crying with sadness, crying with rage. Crying with shock at just how stupid he was. He cried for Donkey Jeremy; he cried for all the lives he had lost in the name of Jeremy; he cried for being so gullible. He cried until he got angry.

Joel had lied to him. He had lied with a smiling face and sugared words about a stupid donkey. He had killed Jack for no reason other then to gaslight the entire world. He had done all that, caused so much pain, and he was calmly farming potatoes, calmly ignoring his dead friend, calmly living out his life with no grief at all.

Jimmy hated him for it. Hatred curled in his heart; it turned his stomach and pierced at his brain.

“I HATE YOU!” Joel stopped his farming. “YOU’RE A FILTHLY LIAR AND I HATE YOU!” Joel stood up, still facing away from the ghost. “I HOPE YOU ROT AWAY, FORGOTTEN AND UNLOVED! I HATE YOU!”

“No you don’t.” Joel turned to Jimmy. He was smiling. “Jimmy, you have never hated anyone in your life and you never will. It’s not in your nature. You’re mad at me sure,” He shrugged and made his way through the crops, towards his friend, “But you don’t hate me Jimmy.”

All the rage, all the spite was gone. Joel was right again. Why, why, did he have to constantly be right. Jimmy didn’t hate Joel. He was gullible. It was all a lie.

He fell to the floor, burying his head in his knees, trying to block out the world. He heard Joel sit down next to him. He had to know.

“why?” He had to know.

“Hm? Ya say something?”

“Why? Why did you do this? Why did you make up Jeremyism? Was it for fun? Or did you have a goal.” Jimmy turned his face to Joel, “What made you do this.”

The man turned to the sky, his eyes grew distant, his expression slacked; he seemed to deflate. “No-one has remembered. I’ve been in worlds like this so many times, that I’ve lost count. No one remembers and I have to try to do something they’ll remember. If only I know about this, I’ll go insane.” He ran his hand through his hair, gathering it out of his eyes, only to drop it back over his face.

“What do you mean ‘worlds like this’? What don’t we remember?” The sky had gone grey, the air had gone cold and a frosty wind whipped its way through the field. It was like the world was mad.

“I shouldn’t have told you that.”

Jimmy pestered Joel, followed him for nearly a week, floated by his bed at night, but he got no answer. Joel merely ignored him.

~*~

Having thoughts about x-life =)

#xlife #xlifesmp #x life smp #x life #xlife smp #joel #joel smallishbeans #jimmy #jimmy solidarity #xlife joel #xlife jimmy #ficlet #angst #<- whos she?#never heard of her #>:)#pandawithapen

34 notes · View notes

sincerelyciarra · 2 years

Text

A Brief Vegetable Ranking

by someone who doesn’t really like vegetables, and especially not raw ones (the wet kronch is Bad)

🥦🍅🍆🥬🥒🥕🌽🥔🧅🥦🍅🍆🥬🥒🥕🌽🥔

Artichoke: Not really sure what these taste like. Not a fan of spinach and artichoke dip because I can’t get past the idea that something Suspicious is going on in there. I know people eat artichoke hearts but, ngl, seems like a lot of work with little reward. 3/10

Asparagus: Far too expensive for such a little dude. Looks and tastes the most like what I imagine the first branch off a young, spring sapling tastes like. Smells like you did something wrong when you cooked it, even if you did not. If I ever had to make a Scarecrow-Medusa, this is what I would make her hair out of. 2/10

Broccoli: Roasted broccoli is fucking delicious, and I’ll hear nothing to the contrary. Also very good in soup! 10/10

Carrots: Not my favorite. Fine in small amounts, but too much becomes Too Much a lot quicker than you’d expect. Good in curry. Not as good for your eyes or as popular with rabbits as Looney Tunes would have you believe. 5/10

Cauliflower: (Please see, Broccoli.) Bonus points for also coming in purple. 11/10

Celery: Looks and tastes like the color green, but in the worst possible way. When you learned about chlorophyll in the fifth grade, this is the smell you imagined. Gets points back for being delicious in chicken soup, but ultimately not worth the pain of having to dodge around it while you’re eating because. Ew. 3/10

Corn: An objectively superior vegetable in almost all ways. Would eat in every form except as cornbread. 15/10

Cucumbers: Whoever started the idea that adding slices of cucumber to water would make it Crisp and Refreshing is Wrong and A Liar™ and Should Be Punished For Their Crimes. Water is already on thin ice, taste wise, and the addition of cucumber ruins the experience entirely. However, you can place the slices over your eyelids for a little at-home spa day like Ashley Tisdale in HSM 2. 1/10

Eggplant: Full points for inspiring the word Aubergine, which rolls off the tongue in such a delightfully pretentious way. Also, eggplant parmesan is good, maybe? (hearsay, unsourced.) 10/10

Green Beans: A favorite, but only when they come from a can, otherwise they’re too crunchy. (Fresh green beans are acceptable roasted.) 9/10

Lettuce: BIG HATE. All of the bad qualities of celery with none of the good. An evil leaf that sits limply on top of your food, dripping its horrible juices all over everything. My personal hell-food. Irredeemable. Abhorrent. -10,000/10

Onions: I don’t personally fuck with onions, but only a fool would deny how much onions have done for us as a society. Truly the backbone of modern cuisine. Just wish they didn’t look and feel Like That when cooked. 20/10

Peas: Do people still eat peas? Who decided that peas were going to be the Frozen Vegetable Staple™ for multiple generations of americans?? I’m pretty sure I’ve only had peas in chicken pot pie and so-so vegetable soup, and they’re nothing to write home about. Genuinely would not know how to cook them if asked. Points for always being tucked in the back of your freezer for when you need something to ice your knee. 2/10

Potatoes: GOD TIER. Fantastic in all forms. Also, to those of you saying that potatoes don’t count as a vegetable because they’re mostly starch: learn from NASA’s mistakes and stop trying to pluto my boy off the food pyramid. Respect your elders. 100/10.

Spinach: It’s fine I guess?? Feel like it could be doing more for itself. 5/10

Tomatoes: Do Not understand the appeal. Uncomfortably wet and full of seeds. The thought of biting into a cherry tomato and having it squish in my mouth fills me with dread. Delicious in soup (sometimes) but I could and would live without it. 4/10

Zucchini: Someone brought in a loaf of zucchini bread to an elementary school pot luck and I never got over the betrayal. 0/10

#rankings with ciarra #just feeling a little unhinged on this Tuesday morning #if you’ve never met me irl this is genuinely how I talk #I wrote this instead of sleeping #and I did it in like 15 minutes so sorry for any typos #lol what do I even tag this as???#vegetables #ranking #food rant #I’m sorry for nothing #I’m very pick in case you couldn’t tell

34 notes · View notes

photosharpshooter-blog · 3 years

Text

Fire quotes from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Why were you lurking under our window?“ "Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?” “Listening to the news,” said Harry in a resigned voice. His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage. “Listening to the news! Again?” “Well, it changes every day, you see,” said Harry.” (Aunt Petunia & Uncle Vernon to Harry, page 3)

“This is night, Diddykins. That’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this.” (Harry, page 7)

“Don’t put your wand there, boy! … Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!” (Moody, page 23)

“Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry–“ "They won’t,” said Harry. “That you’re safe–” “That’ll just depress them.” “–and you’ll see them next summer.” “Do I have to?” (Lupin and Harry, page 26)

“But Dumbledore says he doesn’t care what they do as long as they don’t take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.” (Bill Weasley, page 45)

“Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.” (Luna, page 87)

“I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. “I… must… not… look… like… a… baboon’s… backside.” (Ron, page 88)

“Don’t worry. You’re just as sane as I am.” (Luna, page 93)

“Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies.” (Fred Weasley, page 106)

“Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?” “Yes.” “You called her a liar?” “Yes.” “You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?” “Yes.” “Have a biscuit, Potter.” (Professor McGonagall to Harry, page 116)

“Did you see me disarm Hermione, Harry?” “Only once” said Hermione stung. “I got you loads more then you got me—” “I did not only get you once, I got you at least three times—” “Well if you’re counting the one where you tripped over your own feet and knocked the wand out of my hand—” (Ron and Hermione to Harry, page 186)

“Mistletoe,” said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry’s head. He jumped out from under it. “Good thinking,” said Luna seriously. “It’s often infested with nargles.” (Luna, page 213)

“Ron,” said Hermione in a dignified voice, “you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet.” (Hermione, page 215)

“Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.” (Hermione, page 216)

“You don’t understand — there are things worth dying for!” (Sirius, page 224)

“The mind is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure. Thoughts are not etched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by an invader. The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter… or at least, most minds are…” (Snape, page 249)

“You should write a book,” Ron told Hermione as he cut up his potatoes, “translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them.” (Ron to Hermione, page 269)

“Well, usually when a person shakes their head,” said McGonagall coldly, “they mean ‘no.’ So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans…” (Professor McGonagall, page 289)

“Well it’s just that you seem to be labouring under the delusion that I am going to – come quietly. I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius. I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course – but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing.” (Dumbledore, page 291)

“Did you like question ten, Moony?” asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall. “Loved it,” said Lupin briskly. “Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question.” “D'you think you managed to get all the signs?” said James in tones of mock concern. “Think I did,” said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. “One: He’s sitting on my chair. Two: He’s wearing my clothes. Three: His name’s Remus Lupin…” (Sirius, Lupin, & James, page 302)

“Anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” (Ginny, page 308)

“Give her hell from us, Peeves.” (Fred Weasley, page 317)

“Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, ‘It unscrews the other way.” (Page 319)

“From now on, I don’t care if my tea leaves spell 'Die, Ron, Die,’ I’m chucking them in the bin where they belong.” (Ron, page 337)

“Accio Brain!” (Ron, page 374)

“You do care,” said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” (Dumbledore, page 387)

“By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many.” (Dumbledore, page 387)

“Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.” (Dumbledore, page 388)

123 notes · View notes

darkacademicfrom2021 · 3 years

Text

The Dark Team (part 7)

<<Previous part Masterlist Next part>>

Join the taglist in here (Taglist: @lucywrites02, @louieboo87, @the-departed-potato, @jesuswasnotawhiteman)

Warnings: mentions of suicide and murder, awfully cheesy petnames (yes I have to put a warning on that).

The streets were so cold you had to rub your hands to your neck as you walked. You had only one piece of information that could’ve been possibly linked to that murder, and therefore that stick.

Saying you weren’t worried about being very undercover was a lie; an almost seven feet tall “man” that dressed like a millionaire, and a man with a metal prosthesis and abnormal sized muscles were not exactly the definition of discrete, much less once they were being categorized as “wanted”.

“Are you sure it’s this way?” asked Loki impatiently.

“No”.

“And why…?”.

“Stop torturing me with questions you know the answer of. Shut it and let me do my thing”.

“What is exactly your thing?”.

“Trying to not stab you in the balls, if you keep being this annoying”.

“Alright, guys, keep it down”, mediated Bucky. His role in the team was starting to be more and more like a third wheel in a car that’s trying to break down purposely, and he hated every second of it. “Can’t wait for this mission to be over”.

“Talking about that, we still have a game of cards on hold”.

“We could never play that with Loki, he has mind powers or some shit like that. He’d cheat”.

“Me?” he held a hand to his chest dramatically, “I would never cheat on a cards game. That is dishonest and I would never do such mischievous thing”.

Your phone beeped and the address changed suddenly. You stopped dead on your tracks and both Loki and Bucky, who were walking in line behind you, stumped with each other and almost made you trip.

“Careful, guys”.

“Are you fucking…”.

“Leave it there, Barnes”.

“What happened?”.

“I don’t know, the address suddenly changed. This isn’t supposed to happen”, you hit a few times your phone after it froze, and realized it wouldn’t work anymore. “Well, we’re gonna have to do this the old fashioned way”.

“And how’s that?”.

“How am I supposed to know? You’re the one that's a thousand years old and he’s a hundred and six. I’m barely around the two decades”.

“I’m beginning to think maybe you’re not one for this job. Aren’t you the one in charge of the planning? How did you even get to this Stank Internship in the first place?”.

“Hey, don’t be mean to them. They’ll cry”.

You rolled your eyes and ignored them. Meanwhile, you looked around. You had to find this person. A person who saw the “death” of the man with the pendrive, but the only one who said nothing about it. Only thing you knew was that he was a worker in a coffee shop. Which coffee shop, you’d ask? Well, that’s a good question.

It had to be in the neighborhood, that was for sure. You looked around a bit more, trying to drink in all the information the streets and its habitants could give you.

“The man was killed being thrown off that building. They said it was suicide. It was not”, you finally said out loud, pointing at the direction of one of the tallest buildings of the city. You were too concentrated to even realize you had stopped talking again.

The man you were looking for had to have a full view of the window the guy was thrown off from, so it would be in… that direction. A reasonable distance to see both guys would be less than two blocks. And it happened in an unreasonable hour for a work break, so… it had to be… alright. I think I got it.

“What are we looking for, then?”.

“There has to be a coffee shop maximum two blocks away from one of these three streets, the counter of the bar has to be near the window (or showcase) and the showcase should be tall enough to see the high part of the building, so I’d say at least three meters tall. I assume the man we’re looking for is old and introverted, quiet, not very friendly. Not less than fifty years old”.

“Alright Sherlock”, said Bucky, patting your back. “I’ll write down not to mock your intellect. Now you don’t have to pretend like you just figure that out all by yourself”.

“Okay”, you said, not paying any attention to his words. You were still juicing all the information you could.

“I got lost in the description of the man, how did you reach that conclusion?”, asked Loki, who apparently was reading your mind, following your thought process.

“Well, he’s the only one who didn’t testify at all. The witnesses in this sort of cases go through a polygraph. If all he saw was a suicide, then he wouldn’t be lying, he’d go through the lie detector and go out as if anything happened. Since he saw more, and didn’t say anything, it’s probably because he wanted to protect himself against the law, or just too lazy to go into all the bureaucracy it’d imply”, you explained. Loki had a full blown smile across his face, not even hiding it. “What are you smiling at?”.

“Nothing”, he brushed it off and pretended to fix his tie.

“No, please, do give me your input”.

“I can’t read whether you’re being sarcastic or not”.

“Wanna find out, dear?”.

“Hey, the aggressive pet names are my thing. Get your own passive-aggressive mechanism”.

“Can you concen…? You know what? Whatever. I’m going there”, cut Bucky. He was so done.

You walked as fast as you could down the nearest street out of the three possible ones, and kept rubbing your (now almost numb) cold fingers.

“Buck, do you have a gun with you?”.

“I don’t think this is the best moment to kill yourself. Let us finish the mission first”.

“Though, honestly, I think it could speed things up a little”, added Loki.

“Wow, you guys are especially mean today. We might need something to threaten the guy with”.

“Just a pocket knife. Do you think it could help at all?”, he searched for more weapons in his pockets, but found none. Going undercover, you all had to leave your suits and armor in the hotel room. Loki cleared suggestively his throat and you gasped.

“Really? You can make it out of nowhere?”.

“No, but give me a weird shaped branch or anything similar and I can transform it. Transfigurations have been my specialty lately, though”.

“I love you wholeheartedly”.

“I’d literally marry you on the spot”.

“In fact, I think I might kiss you right now”.

“You guys have no idea how glad I am to know you’re lying”, said Loki, patting Bucky’s back.

To find the place was way easier than you had anticipated. Firstly, because it matched every single aspect you had predicted. Secondly, because it was the only coffee shop in the whole place.

The clicking bell filled the silent place as the scent of fresh coffee and baked goods infested your noses. There was only an old lady reading a paper and the fifty year old you were looking for. Bucky sat down on a table near the counter and you and Loki greeted the man.

“Hi, how are you?” you said with a fake warmth that would assure you his confidence. “We would like a black coffee…”, you looked at Loki, still acting, and he reached your thoughts telepathically to hear your “act, dude; you’re frowning”. He immediately softened up his expressions. “What would you like to drink, dear?”.

“Same as you, darling”, he smiled even faker than you. “So are we pretending to be a couple, now?”.

“Alright, two blacks, please”, you went back to the barista. “Yes, old people get all softies for young couples. Just follow me, we need him to like us”. “And a strawberry milkshake with extra cream and a cherry on top, for the gentleman on the table”.

“Going right up”, said the old man.

“Do you ever take vacations on mocking people?”.

“Never. It’s a true blessing”.

“So, what’s the plan?”.

“Same as it was before, except we can’t actually cause any harm while threatening him, if we do”.

“Why?”.

“Old lady at twelve o’clock?? Man, you really lack any empathy for innocent civilians, don’t you?”.

“Only with mortals. Don’t really care for them”.

“You’re probably lying. I know behind that shell there must be a big soft heart longing for...”.

“Alright, shut up, here comes our order”.

“Thank you, ah, wonderful”, you said, grabbing the cups. You pretended to just notice the news behind the counter, and Loki made the illusion of a highly realistic periodistic note on the suicide of the man with the stick. “Oh my… is that what I think it is?”.

The old man raised his eyebrows, intrigued.

“Uh, is just… don’t watch that, darling. It’ll make you feel sick”, said Loki tenderly, caressing your shoulder. “We sort of saw that… happening, you know?” he explained the old man.

“Oh, really?”.

“Yes, it was really close from here. Oh God, we saw it all happen, this poor man”.

“Very disturbing. Never seen such a gruesome situation in my short, very, very, very short life”, added Loki.

“Alright, we get it, humans live short lives”. “Believe me, you’re so lucky you didn’t have to see that”.

“Really?”, said again the barista, visibly nervous. “That terrible?”.

“Well, it’s a common tragedy, to be honest. But, you know, the cops and investigators were on our backs all night long”.

“Finally free now”, added Loki, still with his arm protectively wrapped around your shoulders. “You’re truly lucky to miss it”.

“Oh, yes. Sounds terrible. Glad didn’t see it, then”, he lied. And he was a bad liar. You didn’t even need Loki to tell you what you could so clearly see.

“And you know… I didn’t think it’d work, but we…” you chuckled innocently, as a kid telling their devilry to a friend, “we sort of lied to the lie detector, and it worked”.

“Love!”, gasped Loki, and lowered his voice “we shouldn’t be telling this to anyone. What if it spreads around?”.

“But, honey, have you seen this man? Why would you think he could wrong us?” you pointed at him and he, as you predicted, blushed with a smile.

“What did you lie about, if I may ask?”. He fell into the trap. You bent over the counter and lowered your voice.

“We saw it was not a suicide”.

Your expressions drew all seriousness and a terrifying look on your eyes gave the man the trust that you were being honest with him. He bent down on the counter too.

“What do you mean?”.

“We saw… oh God”, you started saying, but your eyes watered and Loki didn’t hesitate to hold your head to his chest, comforting you while you sobbed.

“I know, sweetheart, it’s terrible. I know”, he cooed. “We don’t know what to do with this piece of information. The man was thrown off violently, and the things they did to him before…” Loki hinted. The man swallowed hard and started sweating. Loki muttered nonsense, and you continued his empty explanation with sobs that sounded like words but nobody could actually figure out what you meant.

“That sounds awful, wow”, said the man, pretending he heard. Truth was, he didn’t need to insensitively ask for you to repeat yourself. He knew what had happened.

“We wonder what kind of deals could be behind all that, you know?”.

“Yes, very strange, to try to strip the man like that” started saying the old man, too affected by the situation to actually notice he was spilling the true tea. “It sounds like all a very weird business”.

“And that thing they pulled out of him!”.

“Ah… yes”.

You and Loki had started to lose your patience, and figured the man would be harder to interrogate like this than you’d expected. Loki squeezed your shoulder.

“My love, we should get going, don’t you think?”. And with get going he meant knocking the guy off and getting into his memories through Loki’s magic.

“No, my dearest, let’s stay here”, you insisted, without wanting to cause the fuss this was going to make. Ever since you came into the coffee shop, three other family groups had entered and were waiting for their order.

“But, sweet pie… I think we’re shocking the man enough”.

“Oh, please, I just want a normal day, honey bunny. Let’s stay and drink a cuppa here”.

Bucky chuckled at the pet name war you two were having, and the old man looked at you suspiciously. You sighed.

“Alright. Fuck it”.

“You’re cops, aren’t you?”, asked the old man. You fell off your character.

“No… but sorry anyways”, you said, kicking him on the face and smashing his head against the counter, leaving him unconscious.

“That was unnecessarily violent, I could’ve made him sleep with seiðr”, stated Loki, watching the man drip blood from his nose.

“Guys'', said Bucky, watching how all the clients were running away in fear, “I thought we said ‘keep it low, threaten discreetly’. What happened?”.

“For Fuck’s sake, just get into his head already, sweet muffin”.

“Hold his head, baby cakes”.

#loki #loki x reader #loki headcanon #loki laufeyson #loki x gender neutral reader #loki fanfic #loki fic #bucky barnes #bucky #james buchanan barnes #loki odinson #barnes #avengers #marvel #mcu loki #loki mcu

90 notes · View notes

hinatas-sunshine · 4 years

Text

Synopsis: You reminisce with your boyfriend about how you two met, while the team listens, seeing how your hate turned to love.

Genre: Fluff, maybe goofy idk I try

A/N: I thought of this when I didn’t write much all day because I was so exited to write again! but I’m so excited to put it down now! Enjoy this and thanks again for always being so kind to me 🥺 requests are open! KITHES!

Kuroo:

• He hadn’t know you didn’t like him, he just thought you were shy

• When he would approach you and you’d look away, shove your headphones on and walk away he thought you were just not a talkative person or in a hurry

Yaku: Oh y/n? She’s cool, she’s super hyper - doesn’t like you though

Kenma: Yeah I can relate

Kuroo: Kenma 🥺💔

• When you two where in chemistry together you knew he was the smartest person in class

“For this project you will need partners.”

• Everyones silently cheered

“But I’ll be choosing your partners.”

• Now everyone’s cheers became groans

• You silently prayed you didn’t get with the last person you wanted to be with, but the universe had other plans for you...

“Kuroo and y/n-“

“Excuse me, Miss, could I maybe work alone instead?”

• All the other girls beamed and raised their hands asking to work with him while your teacher shook her head and Kuroo blushed, wether it be from the amount of girls who offered to work with him or that you just lowkey humbled him

“Sorry y/n - but you have to have a partner for this one.”

• You only sighed and eyed Kuroo who still had a blush on his cheeks - and a bunch of girls glaring at you.

• You rolled your eyes and sat with him once your teacher told you guys to sit with your partners

“What’s your deal y/n? I don’t remember doing anything to you.”

• You glared at him before opening your notebook and starting to write stuff down making yourself busy

“Let’s get this project over with.”

“Okay... fine.”

• His eyes would wander over to you as you lost yourself in your work, but his eyes didn’t go unnoticed - they were practically burning holes in the side of your head

• You turned your head and glared at him

“Whats your problem Kuroo? Stop staring at me!”

“Me? You’re the one who’s mean to me for no reason!”

“What? Because I’m not one of your stupid fans? Sorry I’m not begging to be your partner but I have a little more decency than that.”

“I don’t expect you to be! But you have no real reason to hate me!”

• You glared at him one more time before the bell rang and you stood up shoving everything in your bag stomping out

• Kuroo hurried to follow you, catching up to you he grabbed your wrist

“Oh my gosh why do you care so much if I like you or not?”

• He let go of you and looked to the side scratching the back of his head

“Because you hate me for no reason...”

“Because you’re a player! You’re a flirt Kuroo! I hear it everywhere but I’m not gonna fall for your tricks just because you have a pretty face!”

• He raised his eyebrow and let out a laugh his cheeks painted red at the compliment

• You sighed and grumbled smacking his arm

“It’s not funny! Shut up rooster head before I sell you to a farm!”

• He started cackling at this point holding his stomach causing you to turn red

“Y-Y/n... I don’t know if you know this or not but I am not a player - I would rather not spend all my time flirting.”

• Now it was your turn to blush, you looked away before crossing your arms

“Doesn’t mean your face isn’t any less annoying you dumb bedheaded beanstock.”

• He shrugged and smiled at you

“It takes time to grow accustomed to people, I’ll let you have your time to begin to like me.”

• Your face grew red again and you stomped your foot

“This is what I’m talking about! You flirt!”

“That’s was flirting?!”

• Your eyes shot open and you smacked your head

“You’re so slow..”

• You two began walking and arguing

• and that’s how you two were...

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

Inuoka: So... you hated Kuroo?

Y/N: with my whole chest.

• Here you sat at the Nekoma boy’s practice, Kuroo lazily slumped over you as you tried to push him away

“You’re sweaty, nasty unwashed potato.”

• Kuroo raised his eyebrow at you and Yaku laughed silently next to you

Yaku: it doesn’t sound any different, sounds like she still hates you

Kuroo: Y/n loves me! That’s not true at all!

Y/n: no wait let him speak

Kuroo: WHAT-

• You giggled placing a small peck on his cheek, showing him that you’re kidding - to which he picked you up and hugged you tightly

Kenma: Disgusting

• You look at Kenma and he smiled at you before looking at his game again

“Why don’t you smile at me Kenma?!”

“Because you’re irritating Lev.”

Atsumu:

• LMAO EVERYONE BUT HIM KNEW YOU DIDNT LIKE HIM

• When you sat with your friends, all they did was talk about Atsumu, while you ate your fruit slices because Yum 😋

“HES SO CUTE!”

Y/n: he has the IQ of a mannequin

“He does not! He’s really smart! Which reminds me oh my gosh-“

• You shrugged tuning out your friend before looking back at your fruit slices and taking a bite happily

• Then there was Atsumu, in his own little world in the middle of practice - until a ball hit him in the back of the head

• Osamu glared at him while Kita shook his head

Kita: Why are you so spaced out today?

Osamu: He jus has no brain - it takes em a second to regain his brain cell

Atsumu: NOT TRUE! I jus- I saw this cute girl today

• The whole team groaned while another ball came at the blonde head with a thump

Osamu: who even is it this time?!

Atsumu: ...y/n 😳👉🏽👈🏽

• The whole gym went silent before everyone laughed at him making him go red

Atsumu: WHATS SO BAD ABOUT Y/N?

Suna: She literally hates you

*y/n: oh my why am I sneezing so much? Am I getting sick?*

• Atsumu frowned before looking at everyone

Atsumu: wait why?

• To which everyone shrugged and went back to their practice

• But that kept him only wondering what made you hate him...

• The next day you were enjoying your daily fruit slices happily on a bench alone, you popped a slice into your mouth bouncing of happiness at the sweet taste

• Your happiness faltered when you saw Atsumu approaching you with a sickingly sweet smile while all his fan girls glared at you already

• he couldn’t be approaching you right? Maybe he was gonna pass you? Yeah - that’s most likely it. He doesn’t have any reason to talk to y-

“Hi y/n!”

• Yeah no. You picked up your fruit slices and bag walking away

“Wait! Y/n!”

• You turned, half a fruit slice sticking out of your mouth, the other half being chewed

• He looked at you like you were the cutest in the world - and you took the fruit slice out of your mouth

“What corn head?”

• He automatically stopped smiling and glared at you

“Why do ya hate me huh?”

• You shrugged and turned around and kept walking but you came to a halt feeling a force pulling you back - he grabbed the strap of your backpack and you gasped falling back

• He put his arm around you and smiled down at you with closed eyes opening his mouth to speak

• But your fist in his side and his gasping fangirls stopped him from speaking

“Did she just hit Atsumu?!”

“She’s so ungrateful! I’d love to have him with me like that!”

• You internally gagged at their annoying remarks and sent them a glare worse than they had given you making them scatter

“You perv! This is why I totally despise you! You think you can do whatever you want and you get away with whatever because everyone likes you! But you’re just an asshole!”

• He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows as you stomped off

• He didn’t do anything wrong did he?

• He walked back up to you and you groaned turning and pressing your foot onto his making him wince

“Ouch!”

“Stop following me! It’s creepy!”

• You frowned and held the straps to your bag while he gasped and reached in his bag

“You like these? Right? I made sure to save mine for you!”

• He held out some fruit slices and placed them in your hands, before smiling at you, patting your head and walking away

• When he got to practice his brother was already laughing it him

“We tell you she hates you and you think you can get her to like you by just approaching her? Oh my gosh!”

• He growled at his captain but all eyes snapped to the door when you walked in

“Did ya come to confess ya love to me?”

“No I’d rather avoid looking at you at all costs.”

• He frowned and you handed some papers to Kita telling him they were for coach while he thanked you

• You walked to Atsumu who was sulking, thinking maybe you were too harsh on him...

“Listen... you should really try working on your people skills... then maybe... I’ll be your friend if you’d like.”

• He smirked at you

“Oh so-“

“Nevermind.”

• You turned to walk out before he was in front of you for a split second

“I’m sorry! I’ll be a’ better person!”

• This had everyone’s eyebrows raised - and you nodded smiling at and putting a hand on his shoulder

“I’m sure you can do it!”

• Yeah he was a puddle in your arms at that point watching you walk out

“Ya wouldn’t last a’ day trashsumu.”

“Shut up ‘samu!”

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

• Atsumu recalled the story to Bokuto, Sakusa, and Hinata

“Wow so you changed just for her?! That’s so romantic!”

• Hinata’s eyes grew wide as he smiled at Bokuto who had a tear in his eye

“That’s so sweet!”

• Sakusa rolled his “You didn’t change you liar.”

• You smacked your boyfriends head

“I was not that mean you stupid corn head!”

• He rubbed the back of his head looking at you as you placed a kiss on his cheek

“I was actually really nice he was just super annoying”

“Was not!”

Sakusa: I believe it

Atsumu: Omi 🥺

• You giggled and smiled at Atsumu, he smiled back at you sliding an arm around your waist leading his head on your shoulder

“Either way she helped me change for the better.”

• This causes you to blush and look down at your lap

“Shut up corn head.”

Hinata: Oh my gosh so that’s what she sounded like while he was explaining the story!

Bokuto: No! She sounded more high pitched probably like this

• Cue Bokuto saying “shut up corn head” in a high pitched voice

Oikawa:

• He thought when everyone said you hated him it was just a joke :(

Iwaizumi: she hates you

Oikawa: Haha so funny

Iwaizumi: no really she hates your guts

• He didn’t get the memo - THE VERY CLEAR MEMO - because when you two were forced to sit next to each other in class and you ignored him, he was confused

“Can I borrow a pen y/n? I left mine-“

• you have already flicked a pin at his forehead to which he caught

• when he sat next to your table at lunch with his own friends he realized how much you hate him

“Okau y/n, kiss, marry, kill: oikawa-“

“Kill oikawa.”

“I didn’t finish.”

“Oh yeah sorry.”

• The look of fear on his face was very noticeable and not only that Iwaizumi cackling made it even more noticeable they heard because you turned around

“Huh? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Y/n-Chan!” “Don’t call me that” “You just said you’d rather kill me than be with me!”

“Yeah what about it?”

• He was sulking the rest of the day and everytime Iwa thought about it he laughed so hard

• By the time he was at practice, he knew his worries would go away. But when his fan girls approached he started getting... bored?

• Iwaizumi quickly caught onto his fake smile and realized how he quickly told them he was in a rush

Iwa: Aye shittykawa!

Oikawa: Huh? What did I do!

Iwa: What’s up with you?

• This confuses oikawa, what was wrong with him? He didn’t think anything was wrong with him...

Mattsun: Yeah usually you’re all *bats eyelashes and puts fake hair behind his year* with your 5,000 girlfriends!

Oikawa: I am not!

Makki: Are too! And they usually go *appraches Mattsun with hands behind his back shyly* for you and you eat that up!

• Yuh Makki and Mattsun Debby Ryaning! Get into it!

• This had Oikawa red and blushing

“Shouldn’t you guys be practicing!?”

• The rest of the team laughed at their upperclassmen and continued on with practice

• He walked up to you the next day smiling at you while you groaned and walked into the girls bathroom to avoid him

• You stood in there for 3 minutes before you walked back out - thank god he was gone

“Y/n!”

“OH MY GOSH!”

• You jumped and swing your backpack at the boy who fell back with a thud

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! Oikawa! What were you doing!”

• He held his bleeding nose and sat up

“I know you said you’d kill me! But I didn’t think you’d actually mean it!”

“Huh? When did I-“

• the color drained from your face when you remembered your own words

“I’m not a psychopath! You just scared me! You creepy stalker!”

“I am not!”

“Are too!”

• You helped him up and made him sit at a nearby bench in the hall heading back into the girls bathroom to get some paper towels

• You cleaned him up and pinched the bridge of his nose

“What do you have in your bag y/n? Bricks!?”

“Wha- no?! I carry a lot for school!”

“You knew today would be your attack day!”

“I’ll let your nose bleed out if you don’t shut up 💞”

• He slightly laughed and you smiled at him, when he was up close maybe he wasn’t so bad...

“Y/n... why do you hate me?”

“You’re cocky.”

“I am not!”

“Are too!”

• He growled and sighed letting you take your hand off of his nose

“You also think you need to show everyone you’re so good at everything, Oikawa you don’t have to do that all the time. Everyone likes you enough as it is - stop stressing yourself out.”

• He looked at you as your blush painted your cheeks

“Y/n... do you like me?”

“Shut up! I’ll hit you with my brick back again!”

“Okay okay!”

• He smiled at you as you growled lowly, you threw away the napkins and sat down next to him

“Listen Oikawa, you’re a great captain. You’re a leader and above all you’re kind. But sometimes you let the fangirls get to your head and it’s - annoying to say the least.”

• He looked at you, you were gripping your skirt and your hair was covering your face

“Y/n...”

“Shut up oikawa I’ll punch you if you say something cheesy.”

• He smiled to himself, the butterflies in his stomach now becoming way more noticeable as he scooted closer to you

• You noticed this and stood up

“I’ll see you later Oikawa.”

• He nodded and watched as you walked away, you shot a smile at him and turned your head back around to continue walking

• He cherished that moment forever

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

Kindaichi: So... She actually had a crush on you the whole time?

Oikawa: Ye-

Y/n: no. Definitely not.

• Oikawa pouted and you kissed his nosed laughing, while the other boys gagged

Kunimi: I think this was a cute story!

• You smiled and linked arms with Oikawa - who smiled down at you as you talked excitedly about their upcoming match while the other boys talked back just as excited

Iwa: you coming to watch the retired circus clown?

Oikawa: Iwa 😔

Y/n: Of course Iwa-Chan!

• Iwaizumi nodded patting your head

Oikawa: HUH? Why is it different when she does it?!

Iwaizumi: Because you’re just weird about it!

Tags:

640 notes · View notes

orangefoxes · 3 years

Note

Hey, so I've been trying to submit a prompt but it won't work so here it goes I know this will be sad but what if Neil gets really sad and depressed (the reason is up for interpretation ex: bullied by jack or is haunted by PTSD) and so he becomes full of self hate and becomes anorexic and cuts himself #andreil (this would mean so much since I've been through similar circumstances and was strong enough to pull through and keep living, this book and your Tumblr have helped me so much)

Hi @soph-ie21 I am so sorry this took a whopping 4 years for me to post. I’m terrible for not checking my inbox as my notifications have been turned off for tumblr since I was like 13. I’m so glad to hear that you recovered from your ED, you must be so strong and I’m so proud of you as I know how difficult that is to do. I’m hoping this is the sort of prompt you were looking for, if you’re even looking after this long, as it’s not very dialogue heavy, but here you go.

TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER, SELF LOATHING, ANOREXIA.

When in high stress situations, to cope, the brain releases a hormone called cortisol. It’s alright in small doses, helpful even. It triggers your fight or flight response and readies the body to do something, fast. Constant exposure to the hormone however, has some not so good long term effects. Effects that include, but are not limited to: high blood pressure, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, and, arguably the mildest, weight gain.

Cortisol results in weight gain for two reasons. The first is because it slows your metabolism, and the second is because the drop in blood sugar from constant high blood pressure means that you start craving fatty, sugary foods, which leads to overeating. Neil’s memory is not nearly good enough for him to recall what foods he had craved over the years, but he and his mother shied away from sweets and chocolate for dental reasons, it probably would have been a hardship for many kids growing up but Neil had never much cared for sugar anyway. However, what he and his mother did indulge in is a lot of fatty, fast food. Partly because it was cheap, partly because it was something they could eat while on the move, and partly because no one would look twice at two sketchy people in a Burger King or remember a beaten up old car briefly pausing in a drive thru.

While never giving much thought to how he looked (short of checking for ginger roots and the bruise on his cheek from where his mother had slapped that smile from his face), Neil does remember his weight fluctuating a lot when he was younger. The more stressful the months, the chubbier he got. It was in the quiet periods as he and his mother settled down and didn’t dare to venture into the supermarket too often that he began to lose it again. It was a cycle.

In Millport, Neil was at his lowest weight yet. There was only a solitary McDonald’s in town and Neil wasn’t about to become a regular. He stocked up on tinned food from the supermarket in his first week in town instead and meticulously made his way through them, heating the can up on the hot plate he had bought for four dollars from the thrift store in the high street.

He gained weight again once he started at Palmetto, he gained muscle mass too. This, of course, was thanks to three free meals a day and a new training regime with daily exercise. It was to be expected, but if, perhaps, he gained weight quicker than his teammates and muscle slower, well, he had bigger things to worry about.

Then he knew he was going to live.

Then everything with the Moriyamas was…well, not gone, but resolved.

That’s not to say there was nothing to stress about. There was the influx of reporters wanting to catch the Foxes’ attention to ask about Nathaniel Wesninski. There was Kevin’s impending break down as Riko’s funeral came and went. There was Aaron’s trial. Honestly it probably would have gone as stressful situations for Neil always go - here and gone just as quickly - except it turns out that Nicky cooks when he’s stressed, and Neil, well, he’s a stress eater.

After Aaron is declared innocent, Nicky resumes as normal. Neil…not quite. He’s constantly opening the cupboards to look for something to eat only to close them again when he finds nothing of interest. Without Nicky cooking, there’s nothing he can easily dig into and Neil, while accumulating many skills over the years, had never been a hand in the kitchen. The only things ready-eat that were consistently in the dorm were ramen and ice-cream. Even the thought of ramen makes Neil want to vomit and Neil wasn’t so desperate that he would resort to eating something as sweet as ice cream. Not that Andrew would let him if he did. (Andrew wasn’t a sharer).

He started to feel hungry.

He was always hungry.

The first few days he started to skip meals, he didn’t even notice he was doing it. Surely he didn’t notice he was doing it.

It’s just -

Here’s the thing.

Maybe he stress eats. Maybe his mother did too. They spent long car journeys with a family sized bag of potato chips resting by the gear stick and they spent half the time stuffing handfuls into their mouths and the other half checking the mirrors for cars that stayed behind them a touch to long. So maybe he stress ate, but it was never because of hunger: it was because of craving. It was because it gave him something to do with his hands. It was only when things quietened down, when the weeks turned long with the monotonous almost-existence that took up the majority of Neil’s life growing up (here’s something no one tells you about life on the run, in between the moments of sheer terror, it’s very very very boring), it was only then, that Neil actually began to feel things like hunger.

So when the hunger pangs began to curdle in his stomach, well, he didn’t mind. It meant he was safe enough to feel the hunger.

Maybe for the first couple of days he didn’t notice it. But then he noticed it.

He noticed enough to avoid things like rice and bread. Danger foods that packed on the calories and that made him bite the inside of his cheek until it bled at the mere thought. He noticed enough that he began to watch the others train and saw their muscles flex and couldn’t help but track their muscle growth and measure it up against his own. He always found himself lacking.

That’s when it started to get worse. If Allison spent 20 minutes on the treadmill. Then Neil would do 30. If Kevin did 40 push ups. Then Neil would do 50. If Renee had a salad for lunch, then Neil would just have a fruit pot.

The first time Andrew noticed that he skipped a meal, Neil just blinked. Being who he was, Neil didn’t do stupid things like stumble for lies and this time was no different. When Andrew asked about him not eating Neil just blinked like he hadn’t even noticed until Andrew brought it up.

He blinked and said “oh, you’re right. I got so caught up in watching exy reruns i didn’t even notice”

He said, “thanks, I’ll grab something in a sec”

Andrew breathed a scoffing breath down his nose, rolled his eyes and called him a junkie. He didn’t look at all surprised, as though Neil was only confirming what he had already guessed. Which of course is the trick all good liars employ.

Neil wondered if he would be surprised if he were to find out how impossible it would be for Neil to forget a meal time. He could never forget. All he thought about was food. It was all he thought about.

Food began to feel like it was all he cared about. Cared about more than school. Cared about more than exy. Is it terrible of him that that more than anything else feels like the worst thing?

And then, as things do, it got worse.

It turned into Neil stood in front of the mirror (looking at his body but not his eyes, never his eyes) and pinching the flesh between his fingers. Noticing every part of him that didn’t harden into muscle like the others. Noticing all the scars that had stretched strangely over a waist and thighs that are no longer as small.

He begins to peck at his food. Rip it into tiny pieces. Andrew looks down at his plate and glowers at him. Neil gives him a cheeky grin. He knows what he’s thinking. That this is just another one of those Andrew-mannerisms that Neil is taking on for himself. Like the sarcastic salutes and the blank, waiting stares. It’s so much easier to hide how little you’ve eaten when it’s all in pieces.

He didn’t know how to explain it. He just knows he needs to be thinner. He needs to weigh less. It’s not about looks. It’s never been about looks. He just needs to do this. He needs to be smaller. It will be alright then. Because then…then…

Well it will be alright then.

So here’s the thing about guilt and self loathing: they’re useless emotions. Andrew would be quick to agree. (Though Andrew is a hypocrite and is chock full of the both of them). His mother would agree too. How many times had Neil slipped poison into someone’s drink, stole from someone just as desperate, shot someone who maybe or maybe-not deserved it? And how many times after that did his mother pinch and prod at him and repeat the same mantra of “don’t you dare let guilt slow you down, you slow down and you’re dead”

Well, Mum, he’s slowed down. He slowed down so much that he’s stopped altogether and guess what? He fucking hates himself.

He replays it all in his head like a terrible loop. The boy in Switzerland that he tricked into taking his jacket so His fathers men would go after him instead. The old women he and his mother tricked into housing them and then slipped something in her tea until she slept and never woke up again. The homeless man who had broken into the house they were squatting in that Neil had shot on instinct. Seth.

Seth. Seth. Seth.

He fucking hates himself. Honestly the hunger pains kind of feel like the best thing he’s ever felt after that. The pain, the ache, he deserves it.

Then it gets worse. Then comes the worst part.

Andrew’s meds change again. The others had begun to make him irritable and he always had an energy crash by about 5pm and a terrible headache. The new ones wouldn’t be of much note as they did nothing groundbreakingly different, short of getting rid of the headaches and not sapping so much of his energy.

Except for one key side effect of the meds.

They suppressed Andrew’s appetite.

More and more Andrew is missing meals. He won’t even eat more than a tablespoon of ice cream. Neil watches him and adjusts himself to suit. He doesn’t know why, but he just can’t be eating more than him, he can’t.

The frustration he feels about Andrew’s meds soon turn to resentment. He hates that he has to watch Andrew not eat and not seem affected by it at all. Andrew lessens his exercise under Betsy’s advice and yet nothing changes. His weight stays the same. He probably even loses some thanks to the loss of muscle. Neil watches and Neil hates. He hates that if he skipped out on training he would pack on the pounds, he hates that his stomach hurt and hurts and Andrew doesn’t spare a thought on food at all.

He starts to avoid the roof. He starts to dodge Andrew’s gaze the same way he does his own in the mirror.

The next time they’re alone and Andrew leans in, more hesitant than he’s been in months, Neil jerks back and snaps “No.”

It isn’t even completely because of the resentment. The majority of it is because he feels disgusting and fat and he can’t bare Andrew touching him right now. Can’t bare him looking at him.

Andrew’s face closes off and he slides back to the other side of the couch. He’s searching Neil’s face, trying to find the misstep, trying to find what he did wrong.

Good, let him think he did something wrong.

Now that’s the resentment.

It’s immediately one of the worst things Neil has ever thought. He remembers sitting, trembling, on the roof, Andrew refusing to touch him saying “I wont be like them, I wont let you let me be”

And Neil’s trying to make him think, wants to make him feel -

Jesus Christ. He’s a piece of fucking shit.

He slams his way out of the dorm and runs and runs and runs.

He sleeps in the locker room and slumps out in the morning so he’s first in the main room for the meeting with Wymack. He sits on a chair that’s as far away from every other seat as it can get while still completing the make do semi-circle around where Wymack usually stands. When the others begin to filter in they take in his new seat, but don’t comment when they see his storming expression.

When Andrew sees him he pauses for a beat in the doorway before continuing to his usual seat on the couch. He stares at Neil blankly, but his hands are clenching and unclenching in his lap. Wymack hesitates but doesn’t say anything. The others play at being uninterested and only Aaron openly looks between Neil and Andrew with a steadyingly darkening expression.

Neil slams his locker and gets changed in the cubicles for the first time in months. He’s vicious in practice. Throwing in as many dirty moves as he can. Andrew stands in the goal and does nothing. When it’s only Wymack’s sharp whistle that stops Neil bringing his racket down on Matt’s arm when he attempts to steal the ball, Neil is benched.

He yanks off his helmet and slumps down on the bench and tries to remember how to breathe through rage.

He’s sat, pinching at the skin on his thigh, for ten minutes before Allison joins him. She holds out a breakfast bar and Neil stiffens.

“Eat, it might help you stop being such a raging asshole,” she says.

Neil takes the breakfast bar and when she doesn’t immediately leave he opens it and snaps a bit off with his fingers.

He stares down the rolled oats and nuts and grimaces at the sticky feeling of the syrup that holds them together. He feels sick.

“Are you going to eat?” Allison says.

Neil looks at her and huffs a bitter breath through his nose. A wry smile pulls at the corner of his lips.

He remembers that Allison battled bulimia for years.

You can’t lie to a liar.

She looks at his face. Concern trying to become anger that she’s trying to force to stay concern. She looks at his face and then over at Andrew, who is stood in his goal watching them as Kevin shouts at him to fucking do something already. She looks back at Neil.

“You know, relationships are hard enough without mental health problems in the mix. Seth and I were a terrible combination for many reasons and that was one them. I’m not saying it can’t be done or that it shouldn’t be done, I’m just saying it makes it so much harder. He used to try to make me eat. I hated him for that. Hated that I had to hide my own habits in my own room. One day, after he stopped me from going to purge one too many times we got into an argument. I said some disgusting things to him. The next day he was in the hospital because of an overdose. He had to get his stomach pumped. You know what the worst thing is? I don’t even remember what it is I said. I don’t know if what I did triggered him or if it would have happened anyway, but it couldn’t have helped. You’re always going to trigger each other at one point or another, it’s unavoidable. But if you know that and you don’t do anything to help yourself…well that’s when every shit thing you think about yourself starts to become true. So tell me, are you a piece of shit that’s going to drag everyone down with you, or are you better than that?”

Neil looks down at the breakfast bar. He still can’t make himself eat it.

He swallows harshly against the lump in his throat. He has to swallow two more times until he’s sure he can talk without crying.

“What’s betsy’s number?” He asks.

Allison doesn’t smile, but she nods like he’s done the right thing and pulls out her phone.

SIDE NOTE: I’d like to point out that Neil is very flawed and toxic in his thinking and Allison is harsh in what she says to him just because she’s a harsh person. If you have an eating disorder I know sometimes help and recovery seems like the worst thing in world and something you really don’t want, but please, please seek help. You can do it.

#Neil josten #andrew minyard #Allison Reynolds #the foxhole court #andreil #all for the game #anorexia #eating disorder

41 notes · View notes

morizoras-cave · 4 years

Text

Pass Out (Request)

Jake Gyllenhaal x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Tom Holland x gn!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: can I request a Tom Holland and Jake Gyllenhaal x teen!reader where she gets sick during the press tour and ends up passing out in front of fans? love your writing btw!!

Warnings: none, really? sick reader, slight insecurity, language

(A/N): yeah im in berlin (we’re being very safe and wearing masks all the time :D) and thats why i havent updated much. im trying to update a bit, im writing this at 7:43 to make it before breakfast hsghssgs anyway hope y’all enjoy

“Y/n, you don’t look too good? Caught a stomach bug?”

You sighed at Jake’s question. You did quite literally feel like shit that morning, all three of you padding out of the hotel to enter the car. It was going to be another day of press, and while those days could be a bunch of fun, this time the thought just worsened your pounding headache, nausea, weakness, and general shit-feeling.

“I don’t know what it is, I just feel real bad,” you grumbled irritably. Tom and Jake exchanged glances over your head.

“Think you should stay home today? Me and Jake can take a yelling from Marvel, it’s totally fine. They hate me anyway.”

“Yeah, I was gonna say, there’s really no way Tom can worsen his image to Marvel. He can take the blame. I mean, he’s already hit rock bottom.”

You snorted at their banter, and without looking, knew Tom had that undoubtedly offended face. Though, you still shook your head sadly.

“It’s not that bad. It’ll be fine.”

There wasn’t much arguing then. The boys never knew you to be a liar about such things, and trusted your judgement completely. And, to be fair, you didn’t lie about how you were feeling. You just thought it was less bad than it was, which is why, when you entered the car, sitting between the two man-children, you got very nervous when it suddenly worsened drastically.

You were sickly-looking, and both your head and stomach hurt. Your legs felt like jello (which is a very weird sensation, by the way, causing you to wriggle your legs to give them life again), and an overwhelming feeling of nausea hit you. Overall though, you felt weak.

Jake and Tom were still watching you worriedly. Your worsened state was easily spotted by them.

“We’re here,” the driver announced. Out the window, you could see the sandy building that you were filming press in that day, and a pretty sizeable group of fans (mostly beautiful young gals) who were looking to meet their idols.

“This is a bigger group than usual,” Tom mumbled, and the comment made you involuntarily groan. You loved fans, but today everything sucked.

Soon enough, you three exited the black car, and The Jello Effect was in full effect, as you wobbled to the front door.

“Oh my God, hi! We’re super big fans!” A nice-looking lady smiled brightly when she spotted you all. Her voice was pleasant, you thought.

“Oh wow, I can’t believe we’re actually meeting them. I didn’t think they’d show up here today. Guess you were right,” came the mumblings from between them.

“We can sign a few things, if you want? We still have a bit of time before our schedule,” Tom offered kindly, because he was such a celebrity that really loved the fans, possibly more than both you and Jake (not that you two didn’t, Tom just had so much love to give out).

All the fans (girls and boys and nonbinary alike) gathered to have their shirts, comics, papers, and anything else that they wanted signed.

You felt horrific, but didn’t object, signing and smiling the best you could, but overall staying quiet. You even joined in on the pictures.

“C-Can I, um, also have a-a picture?” a shy boy asked stepping forward. Both Tom and Jake smiled and said “yeah” and “of course”, but in that moment the world suddenly got very blurry for you.

Everything was very overwhelming, the noise, the questions, the requests, and the responsibilities, and all of a sudden your legs were gone, and the ground was very close to you. And then it was black.

Jake and Tom were standing in front of the boy, when a thump came from behind them (your jello body falling down, in case you were wondering). They looked, and surely enough, there you were, on the ground.

They both immediately jumped down to you, crouching beside your collapsed body.

“Holy shit, are they okay?” one of the fans asked, as a worried murmur spread throughout the crowd of people.

“Uh, I don’t really know-” Jake said nervously. “Damn it, Y/n,” he cursed you, because, of course, you would underestimate the seriousness of your sickness.

Thinking quick, Tom grabbed the rather shy boys phone, angled it so the boy was behind him, and then tapped Jake’s shoulder. They both, comically, duck faced simultaneously, and Tom snapped a picture.

“Here,” he gave the kid back his phone, whilst Jake grabbed and lifted you.

“We gotta get them to a hospital. I don’t want to risk anything,” Jake whispered, not wanting to further upset the fans that stood beside them, with wide eyes and filming phones. Tom nodded.

“Alright, it’s been good, but, uh.. Well, we’ve got things to fix here,” Tom waved goodbye, and then followed Jake, who was sprinting to the parking lot with you in his arms.

“W-What?” you mumbled and blinked awake. You felt drowsy and sick and simply quite terrible, and it was hard to understand, but you realized you were in someones arms.

“Holy shit, Y/n, you scared the crap out of me!” Jake exclaimed breathlessly, as you awoke from your nonconsensual nap. You looked around in confusion, at Jake’s face (you had a great view of his nose and chin), the parking lot, and then a moment where you wondered what the hell was happening.

“Did I- What happened?” your mumble was weak.

“You passed out! We’re bringing you to a hospital!” Tom came from behind Jake. This made you stir.

“Uh, no. No, you’re not!” you (with much grunting and effort - and probably Jake simply letting you go out of respect) jumped out of Jake’s grasp and onto the parking lot. You stumbled, overestimating the solidness of your legs, and almost falling down again, but this time Tom was prepared. He grabbed your arm and pulled you to stand up. From his eyes came a warning look.

“Y/n. You’re sick. We’re going to a hospital. Just to make sure.”

You knew he was right, but still you couldn’t help but feel like a bother. The boys both saw your stubbornness fade slightly.

“Alright, I’ll go to the hospital. But you guys go and do press. I can’t have you getting in trouble with Marvel..” you mumbled somewhat angrily.

Jake and Tom looked at each other for a moment, and then shook their heads. They begun moving at the same time, each taking one of your arms and just starting to walk. You looked back and forth between them accusingly.

“I called an Uber. It’ll be here five.”

“Sounds good, sounds good.”

“Excuse me? I said, I’ll go alone!”

Tom stopped, turning to you. Surprisingly, he smiled playfully.

“Look, N/n. We’re going wether you like it or not, because me and Jake, we care about you too. So stop being so selfish, and let’s go get you checked out, because we can’t have you feeling sick and passing out on us. Alright?”

His voice was surprisingly light and his smile was upheld, but you could tell he was still a bit concerned. The feeling of someone caring about you. It warmed your heart a bit.

Jake ruffled your hair from behind, and you all started walking again. You smiled stupidly, and, though still present, your nausea was much smaller now. Jake eyed you from the side, watching your smile. He shook his head.

“Dummy.”

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun @deephideoutmilkshake @rae-is-typing @sophs-library @herecomesthewriterwitch @alicedanganh @eviemarvel @idk123906 @xiumin-girl99 @frostedgiant

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x teen!reader #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal x teen!reader #marvel x reader #marvel cast x reader #avengers cast x reader #avengers cast x teen!reader #spiderman cast x reader #mcu cast x reader #spiderman cast x teen!reader

610 notes · View notes

kissinginkitchens · 3 years

Text

You Bring Me Home—Chapter Ten: When it Rains

a/n: hi besties!! This one is... tough I’m ngl to y’all. It is the second to the last chapter which is so wild to think about, but alas all good things must come to an end. Hopefully you don’t hate me too much by the end of it but feel free to vent in my inbox :))) much love, Mel <3

Pairing: Hawai’i!Harry x Original Character (Halani <3)

Warnings: swearing, some suggestive humor, ANGST (!!)

Word Count: 7.4 k

catch up on parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine

“Is that my shirt?”

“No,”

Alani squints at the cartoon bee printed on Harry’s white t-shirt and crosses her arms in disbelief.

“Yes it is! I’ve been looking for it everywhere,”

“Don’t worry, you can have it back soon,” he admits, crawling back into his bed with an apologetic kiss to her pouting lips. “Doesn’t smell like you anymore,”

“Thief,”

Harry scoffs and props himself up on an elbow. “Don’t act like my Spice World jumper isn’t hanging at the foot of your bed right now,”

“You left it there,” Alani defends. “I was merely being kind and looking after said hoodie because it was abandoned by its owner,”

“Oh yeah and you’ve fought real hard to reunite us,”

“Can we get back to the main issue at hand? Which is that I’m kinda pissed off that you look better in that shirt than I do.”

Harry chuckles to himself and presses an affectionate kiss to her temple. “You’re too kind.”

Alani rests her cheek against his chest and listens to the rain pattering harshly against the window, admiring the flashes of lightning that illuminate the dimly lit room. Harry had convinced her to stay the night, worried about her driving home alone in the storm, and he was met with very little resistance. Secretly, he thanks the rain gods for allowing him another night to hold her close.

********

“H, you gotta tell her,” Jeff had warned the previous night. “I already pushed the flight back a week—”

“I know,” Harry huffed. “I just need a little more time.”

Jeff sighed, rubbing his tired eyes with the heels of his hands. “You have until this weekend when we go away with the girls. One week in Maui, and then it’s back home. I’m sorry.”

********

Harry’s stomach turns remembering the conversation, but he decides to push all the nagging thoughts to the back of his mind and focus on the present.

“You all packed?” he asks, trailing his fingers up and down her arm.

Alani drapes her leg over his hip and nods. “Been packed since last week.”

She had been ecstatic the day after Mila and Chad’s wedding when Harry invited her to tag along on the couple’s trip with Jeff, Tom, and their significant others. His eagerness to include her in his friend group was not only reassuring, but exciting. It felt like their lives were coming together, even more so after she had introduced him to her parents. They, of course, had adored him and quickly given their seal of approval. While Alani knew that it was ultimately her choice, it still felt good to have support from the most important people in her life, and she hoped to win his friends over just as easily. Harry, on the other hand, had no doubts that she would fit right into his chosen family. Her name had been cautiously dropped during a weekly FaceTime call with his mother and sister, and he was overjoyed when they enthusiastically grilled him for details.

What Harry was less sure of, however, was how Alani would react upon hearing that his vacation was up and that he would be headed back to L.A. in a week’s time. It was still early in their relationship and an indeterminate break seemed less than ideal. He had tried to convince both Jeff and the label that he could finish the album in Hawaii, but the same couldn’t be said for Jeff Bhasker, Mitch, Tom, and his new bassist, Adam, who all had families waiting for them back on the mainland. It was too risky personally and financially, so Harry reluctantly negotiated one last week to persuade Alani that a long-distance relationship wouldn’t be a death sentence.

“What d’you wanna watch?” he asks, sitting up against the headboard to turn on the T.V.

Alani sighs and settles deeper into his side. “When Harry Met Sally,”

“But it’s not Christmas or New Year’s,”

“So?”

“So,” Harry explains. “We have to wait ‘til the holidays, wouldn’t be right otherwise,”

Alani scoffs and peers up at him with a judgemental look. “So I guess Serendipity is also out of the question?”

“We’ll have all Christmas to get through that list, darlin’,”

Her stomach flips at his suggestion of their future holiday plans. Privately, she had wondered about such things, as well, including what gifts she might get him or where they would spend the holidays. Though still months away, it suddenly felt within reach.

“Fine,” Alani softens. “The Notebook,”

“And let you drool over what’s-his-face?” Harry pokes. “No fuckin’ way,”

Alani pinches his side and sits up. “Would you stop being insecure about that? I’ve already told you I was just kidding that time,”

“Yeah well, it still stings,”

“Why don’t you tell me your celebrity crush? You know, so I can be totally fine about it because it doesn’t mean anything,”

Harry shrugs, the corners of his lips turning into a playful smirk. “Don’t have one,”

“Liar,”

“M’serious,”

“Why, because you’ve already dated them?”

“Hey,” Harry pouts. “That was a bit snippy,”

Alani’s muscles tighten. She hadn’t realized that his dating history was a sore spot, but she takes a deep breath and plants a sweet kiss to his jaw as an offering of peace. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,”

“S’alright. Truce?”

“Deal,”

“Jennifer Aniston,”

“Huh?”

“My celebrity crush,” Harry explains shyly. “When I was younger,”

Alani giggles lightly. “I see. Good taste, she’s hot,”

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna leave me for her too,”

“I just might,”

“Can’t say that I blame you,”

“Look I know this is a cute little bit we do,” Alani sits up, her gaze dead-set on Harry’s to communicate the seriousness behind her words. “But I just want you to know that I feel so lucky to be with you. I’m not going anywhere any time soon,”

Harry swallows harshly. It was everything he’d ever wanted to hear and it kills him that he can’t return the sentiment with full honesty. A little less than a week is all he has to prove that even though he physically has to go, his heart will remain wherever Alani is. “Me either,”

Another round of thunder booms outside and the lights fizzle out, leaving the room completely dark save for the intermittent flashes of lightning that gently illuminate the room.

“So much for watching a movie, huh?” Alani sighs.

“I think I know some other ways we can keep ourselves entertained.”

********

Harry sets a steaming cup of tea down onto the table in front of Alani and she looks up from her tube of nail polish curiously. Harry flashes a dimpled grin in her direction and whistles a familiar tune, one that she had heard in the studio when he was busy doing his Bob Dylan impression.

“What’re you singing?”

“Hm?”

“The song,” she clarifies. “You were singing it the other day, what is it?”

Harry serves her plate of hash browns and shrugs. “Dunno, just a little tune ‘ve been workin’ on,”

“It’s nice,”

“Thanks, sweets,” he offers, setting her food down and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Hey Alani,” Jeff interrupts, stepping into the kitchen with his cellphone pressed to his shoulder.

“Glenne wants to know if you’re okay with her setting up a spa thing for you guys,”

"Yeah, definitely,” Alani perks up.

“Cool, thanks.”

“Look at you,” Harry teases, taking a bite of his toast coated in strawberry jam. “Minglin’ with the girls,”

“They’re not even here yet,”

He scans over her appearance and his brows furrow, hit with the sudden realization that she’s dressed in formal attire.

“What’s with the fancy outfit”

“I have a meeting, remember?”

“With?”

Alani blows on her freshly painted nails and holds up her other hand for Harry to do the same.

“My senior advisor. We’re going over my research project,”

Harry’s brows raise. “Smarty-pants,”

Alani had scheduled her meeting with Dr. Hudson months ago and had, truthfully, forgotten all about it until she had received a courtesy email the day prior. She had been working on her proposal in the spare minutes she had away from Harry, which were few and far between, but she knew the initial meeting would be much more casual. Alani checks the time on her phone and stands quickly when she realizes that she is supposed to meet Dr. Hudson in less than thirty-minutes.

“Gotta go,” she offers, shoveling potatoes into her mouth and grabbing her bag.

Harry ceases blowing on her nails and kisses the back of her hand before sticking out his lips for a kiss of his own. “Good luck, darlin’. Meet me at the studio after?”

“Sure thing, sunshine. See you later.”

********

“How did the Joni Mitchell piece go? You never told me,” Dr. Hudson questions, taking a sip of her coffee.

Alani offers a shy smile and toys with the hem of her skirt. “A flop,”

“Just one more closer to the winner,”

“Yeah,” Alani sighs, stirring her smoothie. “Maybe it’s time to move on from that,”

The professor shoots her a disapproving look and sets her drink down. “Alani—”

“I just think maybe there’s more realistic—”

“You are not giving up,” Dr. Hudson reassures her. “You’ve come too far and you’re a terrific writer. One of the best I’ve ever had the pleasure of teaching. These things take time,”

Alani nods gently, her lips pursed in a tight smile. “Thank you, that really means a lot,”

“What are you working on right now?”

Absolutely nothing, Alani thinks, but then she remembers the half-written article about Harry sitting in her files.

“A short piece about… a local musician,”

Dr. Hudson’s brows raise, intrigued, and she nods. “That sounds interesting. Definitely more personal,”

You have no idea. “Thanks. I mean, it’s not really anything—”

“I’d love to read it when you’re finished,” the professor continues. “What’s the scope?”

Alani thinks, trying not to give too much incriminating detail about her subject or their relationship.

“Well,” she starts, hesitant. “He’s writing new music and working on his first album. I guess I kind of want to follow his journey and redefinition of success in the music industry,”

Dr. Hudson hums. “I love it. Send me a draft.”

Alani swallows and takes a minute to consider the offer. Surely there couldn’t be anything wrong about sharing her work privately with her advisor. She had been so excited about the potential of the article when it was first started, but it had since been neglected like so many of her other rejected pieces. Starting again seemed exciting, and she knew that Harry would be pleased to play such an important role in making her dreams come true. That had, after all, been the initial terms of their agreement.

“Okay,” Alani accepts. “I will.”

********

Harry draws out the last note and Mitch lets the chord ring between them for a moment.

“I think that’s the one,”

“Yeah, I liked that progression better,”

“Hope you got that, Bhasker,” Mitch calls to Jeff in the sound booth, who gives a thumbs up in response.

Harry continues humming, his head still bobbing to the tune, when he hears the studio door creak unpleasantly. His eyes shoot up to find Alani wincing and timidly stepping into the room.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,”

He softens and beckons her over. “Never an interruption, sweets,”

Alani slots herself between his legs and wraps her arms around his neck, giving a gentle peck to the tip of his nose before pressing their lips together.

“How’s the weather?”

“Just got a lot sunnier,”

“Meeting go well?”

She nods and twists a lock of his chestnut hair between her fingers. “Yeah, actually,”

“Then we should celebrate!” Harry perks up, peppering a kiss to her cheek. “Dinner, wine, movie, the whole shebang,”

Alani frowns, thinking back to the article she promised Dr. Hudson. “Hmmm, raincheck?”

Her boyfriend deflates. “You’re ditching me?”

“Just for one night,” she explains, pulling him closer. “I wanna finish up some school stuff before our trip. Otherwise I won’t be able to give you my full attention,”

Harry pouts, but he nods understandingly. “‘Kay,”

“I’m sorry, sunshine. I’ll miss you tons,”

“Ditto, sweets,”

Alani presses her forehead against his and her fingertips wander through the growing curls at the nape of his neck. “Please don’t be upset,”

Harry smiles warmly and smoothes his hands up and down her back. “Never, m’love. Could never be upset with you,”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he nods, planting a sweet kiss to her lips. “Hey, I wanna play you somethin’,”

Alani grins and pulls back a bit to read his expression. “Let’s hear it,”

Harry grabs the guitar next to him and slings it over his shoulder before adjusting the capo. The song starts sweet and gentle, his voice light to match the tune.

And oh we started

Two hearts in one home

It’s hard when we argue

We’re both stubborn I know, but oh

Sweet creature, sweet creature

Wherever I go, you bring me home

Sweet creature, sweet creature

When I run out of road, you bring me home

Alani watches in awe as he pours so much emotion behind every word, his vocals effortlessly powerful and rich. She claps when the song finishes and leans in for a kiss.

“I love it,”

“S’not finished yet,” Harry shrugs, still fiddling with the strings. “Just the chorus right now,”

“Will you teach it to me?”

His brows raise in surprise. “You play?”

“No,” Alani admits. “But I have a feeling you’re a good teacher,”

“Well, let’s see what you got,”

Alani turns and Harry props the guitar in her lap, his arms wrapping around her as he guides her into the right position. His left hand demonstrates the beginning chord and she replaces his fingers on the fretboard to try for herself. She strums and the beginning note resonates in near-perfect pitch.

“Hey,” Harry beams. “You’re a regular Hendrix,”

He continues positioning her fingers over the right spaces and letting her strum, humming the lyrics softly into the shell of her ear.

“We don’t argue that much,” Alani defends playfully.

Harry chuckles and kisses her temple. “Maybe not, but we’re really good at makin’ up.”

“Easy, Styles.”

********

Harry: Hungry?

Alani peels her eyes away from the computer screen and reads the message lighting up her phone.

Alani: Not really

Harry: …

Harry: oh

She laughs and pads over to the window. Sure enough, Harry holds up two bags and flashes a cheesy grin down below.

“Need a study break?”

“I’ll meet you at the door.”

Harry makes himself comfortable in the middle of her bed and unpacks the bags.

“I’ve got a California and a spicy tuna for my favorite girl,” he announces. “With a side of eel sauce,”

“And the world's best boyfriend goes to Mr. Harry Styles,” Alani grins, taking a seat next to him.

He smirks and pulls out his own order of miso soup and sushi. “How’s the homework comin’ along?”

“Not too shabby,”

“Glad to hear it,”

“Hey, what time do I meet you at the airport tomorrow?” she asks, dipping her roll in the sauce.

Harry freezes and turns to her with confusion written all over his face. “I’m sorry, did my girlfriend just insinuate that we’re not leaving for the airport together?”

“I really need to finish this,” Alani explains. “It’s almost there,”

“Two nights?” he complains.

Alani nudges him with her shoulder and shakes her head. “We’re gonna be spending an entire week together, non-stop. You’re gonna get sick of me,”

“Never,” Harry rebuts. “Not possible,”

“Just one more night,” Alani bargains. “Then I’m all yours, no interruptions.”

He nods and takes a sip of his soup. “Alright, deal.”

You have to tell her, Jeff’s voice rings in his mind.

********

The airline stewardess ushers Harry and Alani to their seats while Scott and Miles settle down a few rows behind. She didn’t know exactly what to expect from first-class, but suddenly the perks of having a famous boyfriend increased tenfold by the sight of their luxurious accommodations.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Alani asks while Harry hovers over his chair.

“Sitting, or I was about to,”

“And you’re not even gonna offer rock-paper-scissors for the window seat?”

Harry shakes his head with an amused chuckle. “No because I already know that you’re gonna get up to pee every five minutes,”

“Not true,”

“It is too true and it’s exactly why we can’t cuddle while we fall asleep,”

“Or maybe the reason is because I’m claustrophobic and I just don’t wanna hurt your feelings,”

Harry frowns. “Really?”

“No,” Alani admits, taking the aisle seat. “I just said that so you’d give me the window,”

“Get up, we’re switching,”

“Thank you, sunshine! You’re the best,”

Harry slumps into his new chair and crosses his arms. “Forty-five minutes and we’re already fighting like an old married couple,”

“Oh really?” Alani smirks. “Is that what old married couples argue about? Who gets the window seat?”

“And leaving the toilet seat up, going antique shopping—”

“—What old married couples have you been hanging out with—?”

“—Picking up the kids from school,”

Alani presses a kiss to his shoulder and rests her head in the crook of his neck. Her eyelids are still heavy from staying up the night before, but her article was completely finished and sent off to Dr. Hudson just like she’d promised. Now, she could enjoy her vacation free of any worry or obligation, completely focused on the perfect boy still rambling next to her.

“But, obviously I mean that doesn’t count, right?” Harry asks, craning his neck and smiling softly when he sees that his girlfriend has already dozed off. He kisses the top of her head gently and lets his own eyes flutter close with a deep, contented breath.

********

“And then I’ll have to repaint it, but I haven’t decided on a color yet,” Glenne explains to Alani as they stroll through the airport.

Alani hums. “It was your grandmother’s?”

“Well, it was somebody’s grandmother’s. We picked it up at this little antique shop in Santa Monica.”

Jeff escorts Glenne into the shuttle car while Harry and Alani share a knowing look and stifle their laughter. They shuffle into the back seats as Tom and his wife, Jenny, claim the middle row.

“So you’re a journalist?” Jenny asks, turning in her seat eagerly to face Alani.

“Not quite,” she explains with a polite smile. “Still a student, but hopefully someday,”

Jenny nods and twirls the ring around her finger. “Sounds exciting. Maybe you can hitch a ride on tour with this one and do some writing there.”

“Yeah,” Alani smiles, settling further into Harry’s side. “Maybe.”

The idea of traveling the world with Harry and being a part of the excitement of touring the album was something she had considered briefly, but hadn’t allowed herself to fully indulge until this moment. It was already thrilling to see him polish the songs he had begun during his trip, but she could only imagine how much more special it would be to see him perform them for the rest of the world. A twinge of jealousy sparks at the thought of having to share any part of him with the public, but Alani knows that his gifts are much too special to keep all for herself. Harry was golden and he deserved to shine in all of his radiant glory. That was exactly what she had penned in her article, and she said it not because he was her boyfriend and there were clear personal investments, but because she knew it was true even before he had shown any romantic interest in her.

“What’s tour like?” Alani pipes up as Harry watches the landscape out his window.

He considers it for a moment and clears his throat. “Fun, mostly. Can be tiring,”

“Lots of partying and adoring fans?”

“No,” he chuckles to himself. “Not so much the partying. Enthusiastic fans, sure,”

Alani narrows her eyes. “No partying?”

“Nope,” Harry reiterates. “Don’t really like to do all that stuff when I’m working. Also just didn’t wanna…”

He trails off and Alani waits a beat to see if he’ll continue. “Didn’t wanna?”

“Fuck it up,” he finishes. “You know, like, be the one who ruined a good thing for a little bit of fun.”

She lets his words settle in, rubbing a reassuring circle on the back of his hand. “Makes sense. Sounds really responsible of you to do that.”

Harry presses a soft kiss to her temple and resumes his study of the scenery. They chat amongst their friends for the remainder of the drive and Alani immediately presses Glenne and Jenny for information about her boyfriend in his younger years. They indulge her inquiries and ask their own questions, deciding privately after a few minutes that her and Harry are a good fit.

When the group arrives at the resort, Glenne takes charge and instructs them all to meet at the lobby for lunch in twenty minutes. They collect their keys and head up to their respective rooms, which are all located on the very top floor.

“What a view,” Alani muses as she takes in the sight from their private balcony.

Harry admires the wonder on her face and nods, his eyes not leaving her side profile. “You’re tellin’ me,”

“Let’s never go home,” she poses, arms snaking around his torso. “Let’s stay here forever, just me and you,”

His throat tightens as he thinks back to the inevitable conversation waiting for them. Harry didn’t know why it was so hard to think about leaving because he had every intention of keeping touch and making their relationship work at all costs. But there was a part of him, a very tiny recess in the back of his mind, that feared the possibility of Alani not feeling the same.

“Yeah,” he agrees with a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose. “Whatever you want, sweets,”

Alani senses a shift in his demeanor, but she can’t read it. “You okay?”

“Never better,” Harry swallows, mustering up a small smile. “But I am hungry,”

She isn’t entirely convinced that there isn’t something bothering him, but she decides not to push it and tightens her grip around his waist, instead.

“Race you to the lobby.”

“You’re on.”

********

“You’ve never seen Finding Nemo?”

“Was I s’posed to?”

“My god,” Alani marvels. “You know, I’m starting to believe those rumors that you were grown in a lab,”

Harry’s brow raises and he blinks. “That I was what?”

The restaurant that Glenne and Jeff chose features an aquarium tunnel at the entrance, much to both Harry and Alani’s excitement. Fish, large and small, swim around them and the pair take turns pointing out their favorite colorful species. The Hull’s snap photos for their four year-old daughter, but Jenny also secretly captures one of Harry and Alani with their hands clasped under the mesmerizing blue lighting as a keepsake for her friend.

“Add Finding Nemo to our movie list,” Alani says, admiring a clownfish that swims close to the glass.

“S’it gonna make me cry?”

“Probably,”

“Goddamnit,”

Alani giggles softly and turns her head away from the glass to silently observe Harry under the lighting of the rippling water. The combination of his serene features and the sound of Billie Holiday’s I’ll Be Seeing You over the sound system creates a perfect image in her mind, one that makes her afraid to blink, lest it be gone forever. Harry glances over at her through the corner of his eye and his lips curl.

“Checkin’ me out?”

“Always,”

“Like whatcha see?”

“Love it.”

His heart nearly stops at her words, but before he has a chance to process their implication, the hostess calls on their group.

“And I’ll have the piña colada,” Harry orders once they're seated.

“Oh my god, H,” Glenne laughs from across the table. “That reminds me, remember your birthday last year when James got trashed and hoarded the karaoke machine for, like, two hours?”

“Ruined that song forever,” Jeff quips, reliving the memory of the Late-Late host drunkenly serenading the entire party with the same song on repeat.

Harry cringes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I try not to,”

Alani watches as they reminisce on the event, adding their own details and pieces to the puzzle. It’s amusing to watch, but a small part of her also has to fight the pang of exclusion settling into the pit of her stomach. She feels guilty for being affected by it knowing, logically, that it isn’t intentional or malicious in any way. Still, Alani is painfully reminded of the vast differences between their worlds. Harry had gotten to know practically every part of her life, including her family, but there was still so much that she didn’t know about his. It was something she worked hard not to dwell on, given the novelty of their relationship, but she also worried that fear and insecurity would prevent her from investing what little of her heart Harry hadn’t claimed yet.

“Who was it that started dancing on a table and almost broke a chandelier?” Tom asks, wracking his brain.

“I think it was Ken—” Jeff hesitates, clearing his throat. “Actually, I don’t remember,”

Harry shifts in his seat beside Alani and reads over the menu, quickly changing the subject. “What’re you gonna get?”

“I don’t know,” Alani admits. “Everything looks so good,”

“Oh look,” Jenny pipes up across from Harry. “They’ve got your fav, the mango sorbet. I wonder if it’s as good as the one in Italy,”

Harry beams and reads over the item. “Oh yeah, that was amazin’,”

Alani files the detail to the back of her mind. She hadn’t known mango was his favorite flavor of anything, and while it was a trivial detail, she realized that there were so still many little details about him that she wanted to know. Harry had made such an effort to remember everything about her, like her go-to sushi order and the fact that she always saved the kiwis for last in her fruit salad, so it made her feel a touch guilty that she hadn’t made the same effort.

“Wanna share the coconut shrimp?” Alani asks with a gentle nudge to his shoulder.

“Oh, uh—”

“He’s allergic,” Glenne says offhandedly, not cold or condescending, but more in the same way that an older sister would.

“Oh my god,” Alani’s eyes widen. “I’m so sorry,”

Harry laughs lightly and shrugs. “S’okay, I’d let you poison me,”

“I didn’t mean to be rude,” Glenne apologizes, reaching her hand out to Alani. “I thought you knew.”

Alani accepts the hand and waves away her concern. “No, don’t worry about it. I didn’t know, actually.”

“We can stop talking about my defects now,” Harry teases. “‘M not dyin’,”

He leans in closer to Alani and presses a kiss to her temple. “But if I was, it’d be an honor to have my last meal with you.”

She responds with a soft smile before returning her attention back to the menu. His sentiments, however sweet, unfortunately did very little to soothe the embarrassment of her mini faux pas. It was irrational, Alani knew this, but it made her wonder what else she didn’t know and what bigger secrets he was potentially keeping. Whose name had Jeff meant to say earlier to identify the mystery dancer at Harry’s party, and why had it created an awkward shift in the air? She decides not to let the spiraling questions spoil her fun and takes a generous sip of her cocktail to avoid them for the time being.

********

Harry sets the room key on the nightstand next to their king sized bed and lets himself sink down into the soft mattress. The group had spent the entire day sightseeing, from botanical gardens to scenic beaches, but he was really itching for some quality time alone with Alani. Lately, their time together had been cut frustratingly short by work, school, and life in general. Even when they were seated right next to each other with arms linked or fingers interlocked, she felt far away and he didn’t know why. He hoped that this trip would allow them time to reconnect and solidify their relationship before he had to return to California.

“Mini bar,” Alani comments, kicking her shoes off and wandering over to the small refrigerator in their suite. “Who’s paying again?”

“The label,”

“Thank you Columbia Records,”

She swipes a few bottles of tequila before climbing into the bed next to Harry.

“Wanna play a game?”

Harry props himself up on his elbow and nods. “What kinda game?”

“Never have I ever,” Alani explains. “But instead of putting your finger down, you take a shot,”

“Sounds dangerous,”

“It’ll be fun. You can go first if you want,”

He hums and nods in agreement before sitting up to face her. “‘Kay. Never have I ever...named my car after a musician,”

“Cheap shot,” Alani narrows her eyes, taking a sip from the bottle of Jose Cuervo.

“Your turn,”

She fiddles with the bottle cap, a question already in mind, though she isn’t sure if she should ask it.

“Never have I ever… dated a model,”

Harry’s brow furrows, but he opens his own bottle slowly and takes a sip. “So it’s that kind of never have I ever,”

“Just trying to keep it interesting,” Alani shrugs innocently.

“Right. Never have I ever slept with a guy named David,”

Her eyes widen, but she laughs half-heartedly and takes a sip. “Jeez, okay. Never have I ever—”

“Wait, so you two actually…” Harry interrupts, trailing off at the end.

“I mean,” Alani starts, her eyes wandering to the ceiling. “Yeah, a long time ago,”

“How long ago?”

“Okay, maybe this was a mistake—”

Harry shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll play nice,”

“Alright,” Alani accepts. She knows that she should probably steer the game back onto safer territory, but the wound has been re-opened and she can’t resist the urge to keep picking at it. “Never have I ever slept with a fan,”

Harry takes a slow sip. “Never have I ever cheated on my partner,”

The bottle stays put in Alani’s hand. “Never had I ever gone on a vacation with my partner before this trip,”

The tequila washes over his tongue bitterly like the faint memories that it symbolizes. “Never have I ever dated someone just for the publicity,”

The bottle in Alani’s hand doesn’t move, much to Harry’s relief, but her mind is not as tranquil.

“Never have I ever told someone I loved them when I didn’t,” she says slowly.

Harry takes another shot and it burns all the way down. “Why are we doin’ this?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t wanna play anymore,”

“Alani,” he starts, springing to his feet when she leaves the bed. “Hey, look at me, please,”

She blinks back the tears that threaten to spill over her lower lashes before turning to him. “I’m sorry, that was a stupid game,”

“S’just all out of context,” Harry offers, reaching for her hands. “Wasn’t the right way to have all of those conversations,”

Alani takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, you’re right,”

“What’s really botherin’ you, hm sweets?” He coos, bringing her cold knuckles to his warm lips. “Tell me, please?”

She releases a shaky breath and tries to sift through the fog in her brain for the right answer.

“I don’t know, really, I just,” Alani hesitates. “Am I a bad girlfriend?”

“No,” Harry says quickly, his hands lifting to cup her face. “God no, you’re the best,”

“Then why didn’t I know that your favorite ice cream flavor was mango? And why didn’t I know that you were allergic to coconut, and why—”

“Hang on, is that what this is all about?” he questions. “Cause I’ll go eat an entire coconut right now,”

Alani laughs lightly and pinches her eyes shut. “No, it’s not about that. I just feel like you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and you make me feel so fucking special and, God, I just wanna be good enough for you because—”

Harry holds his breath and watches as her eyes gloss over.

“Because I love you,” she finishes, voice small. “More than I ever thought possible,”

His own eyes sting, but he doesn’t fight the tears that fall as he presses his lips to hers firmly.

“I love you, too,” Harry murmurs. “I love you so fuckin’ much it drives me crazy,”

Alani chuckles softly. “Ditto,”

“I’ve been wanting to say it for ages, can’t believe you beat me to it.”

“Guess you’re not the only one full of surprises.”

********

The early morning sunlight creeps gently into Harry and Alani’s room, casting a soft, golden glow onto the bare skin that peeks through the white duvet. Harry stirs first, a strand of Alani’s hair tickling his nose and making him smile. He prys his heavy eyelids open and winces at the dull aching of his head aggravated by the light. Alani hears his muffled groan and sighs, willing the sun to go back down and let her sleep a few more hours.

“Mornin’ sweets,” he rasps with a warm kiss to her bare shoulder.

She peels her own tired eyes open and flashes a sleepy grin. “Good morning, sunshine,”

“How’d you sleep?”

“Super. You?”

Harry props himself up on his elbow and rests his chin in his palm as he admires the traces of sleep still on her face.

“Just swell.”

Alani chuckles lightly and reaches a hand up to comb through his unruly bedhead. His skin is warm to the touch, and the light from the window casts a heavenly glow around his visage. She pokes her finger into his dimple, which elicits a soft laugh and makes his smile grow wider. They stay intertwined under the sheets as the sun fully rises and soak up their own details to keep as souvenirs from this moment. Alani takes in the scent of vanilla and the juxtaposition of Harry’s inked bicep against the plain, white sheets. He stores away the image of her sleepy, mocha eyes and the pink, manicured fingernails that trail up and down his arm. Neither of them are sure exactly how long they remain in this moment, for all they know it could be hours or days. But whatever the duration, it doesn’t seem to be enough. I need more time, Harry had told Jeff, but there was no more left to give. He had to tell her, and it was now or never.

“Hey,” he begins carefully. “I need to tell you something,”

Alani sits up to be eye level with him and nods. “Anything,”

Harry waits a beat, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear and pressing his lips to her bare shoulder before letting the confession spill out.

“I have to go back to L.A.,”

“I kinda figured,”

He draws in a deep sigh of relief. “You did?”

“Yeah,” Alani shrugs. “Hilo isn’t exactly Hollywood,”

“I asked for more time, but the label—”

“No, I get it. So… when? Next month?”

“Friday,”

Alani’s brows furrow. “This Friday?”

“Yeah,” Harry admits with a gulp.

“The last day of our trip?”

“Yes,”

Her heart drops into her stomach and she feels sick. It all made sense now why Harry’s mood had shifted when she jokingly asked him not to leave, and why he had been so insistent on spending as much time together as possible this week. Their game of never have I ever turned instantly defensive when asked about his dating history. Never had I ever gone on vacation with my partner before this trip. Never have I ever told someone I loved them when I didn’t. He had whisked her away on a farewell trip and God knows who else had been in her place before, or worse, who would be in it next. Harry was saying good-bye.

“Wait,” Alani says finally, mind still racing too fast to process. “How long have you known?”

“Alani—”

“How long?”

Harry swallows. “Couple of weeks,”

“You knew for weeks and you didn’t tell me?” she questions incredulously.

“I tried—”

“You know that I hate surprises, you know how I feel about plans—”

“I’m sorry,” Harry insists, sitting up straighter. “I wanted to tell you so many times, but it just never felt right,”

Alani rolls her eyes. “So what, you were just gonna leave a fucking sticky note on my pillow and hope for the best?”

“Don’t say that—”

“Is that why you brought me here?” she asks, voice hoarse. “Is that why you gave me this necklace? A souvenir of our little summer fling so you could leave with a clear conscience?”

Harry’s jaw tightens. “How could you even think that?”

“Because maybe it’s true. Why else would you wait until the very last minute to tell me about this?”

“Maybe we should take a minute,” he suggests, the whites of his eyes now bloodshot. “Before we say something we’ll regret,”

“I think I already did.” Alani admits. Never have I ever told someone I loved them when I didn’t.

Harry’s head pounds and he feels like he’s drowning, treading water in every direction only to be dragged further into the current. He quickly pulls on his clothes from the night before and tries to steady his breathing.

“M’gonna go wait in the hall,” he offers. “Give you some space to think and then we’ll talk, yeah?”

Alani doesn’t respond or even meet his pleading eyes. She simply tightens the duvet around her body and turns her head to the window, letting a single, bitter tear roll down her cheek. The door closes softly and she is immediately filled with regret and guilt. Had she truly meant all of the things she said? Or was it fear and the instinct to flee taking over her mouth? Alani wanted to believe that she was wrong and that Harry hadn’t intentionally kept her in the dark, but from where she stood, the sun had long disappeared behind the clouds and all that was left was the storm.

Harry trudges down the hallway and the walls spin, closing in on him slowly. If he had just told Alani sooner, everything would be different. He had avoided doing so for this exact reason and out of fear that their relationship wouldn’t be worth the risk in her mind. It was selfish—he was selfish—to try to make the decision for her, and now the woman he loved was getting ready to walk away because he had broken her trust. What else was there to do? His back meets the wall and he sinks to the floor.

“Hey H,” Jeff clears his throat from above. “We should talk,”

“She knows. Didn’t go well,”

“So she did approve the article?”

Harry lifts his head and his brows furrow. “What?”

There’s a harsh knock at the door and Alani jumps. In Harry’s absence, she had managed to cool off and sift through her frantic thoughts. She had been wrong to think that he used her, all it took was a quick stroll down memory lane to prove otherwise. He had never given her any true reason not to trust him, so there had to be some other reason why he hadn’t told her about his plans to leave so soon. Alani pads over to the door and unlocks it gently.

“Harry, I’m sor—”

“Wanna talk about surprises?” he seethes. “What the fuck is this?”

She squints at the phone screen that he holds up to her face and the title of her unpublished article stares back at her.

“I don’t know—”

“Well it has your goddamn name on it,” Harry shoots back.

Alani steps aside and lets him into the room before she closes the door behind her. “I can explain—”

“Did you write it or not?”

“Yes, but—”

He shuts the phone off and slams it face down onto the night stand. “How fucking dare you call me a liar and then pull this shit behind my back,”

“I didn’t lie,” Alani defends, voice weak. “I had no idea it was going to be published, please just listen—”

“A class project,” he interrupts with his back still turned. “That’s what you said,”

“It was never meant to be released,”

“How do I know that? How do I know you’re not just trying to cover your ass?”

“Please,” Alani begs as her vision begins to blur. “I was wrong, I shouldn’t have said all those things,”

Harry runs a hand through his hair and casts his eyes to the ceiling in an attempt to quell the emotion that pools behind his eyes.

“So why did you?”

“I was scared,”

“Of?”

Alani takes a deep breath. “Of losing you for good. Of falling in l—”

“Don’t,” he interrupts. “Don’t finish that sentence,”

“I don’t know how,” she tries again. “And I don’t know who released it, but I swear—”

“You really expect me to trust a word you say after you accused me of lying about this whole thing, about us?”

Harry’s gaze lowers back to hers and the bright, green eyes that she has come to love are replaced with a blood-shot, stormy sea that makes her stomach drop. The words get caught in her throat.

“I fucked up,” he continues. “I know that I should’ve told you. But I’m having a hard time believing that this wasn’t planned, that this random website would just accidentally publish your work without your consent,”

Alani can’t explain it either, she truly had no idea how her writing had ended up in the wrong hands. There was only one other person she had entrusted it with, but surely Dr. Hudson hadn’t betrayed her, had she? Alani didn’t know who to believe anymore.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” she tries. “I didn’t mean what I said, and I know I can’t take it back, but you have to at least believe that I never wanted to hurt you,”

Harry is silent for a moment, and Alani decides that it’s her turn to tell the truth. There was nothing left to lose.

“At first, I did want to publish it,” she explains. “But I changed my mind and I scrapped the whole thing. In the end, the only person I intended to show it to was you,”

“So how did it get onto the internet for the whole fucking world to see?” he presses.

Alani sighs. “My advisor wanted to know what I was working on, so I sent it to her, but she never had my permission to publish it. Now I realize how stupid it sounds, but it’s the truth,”

“If you had come to me, I would have given you permission,”

“I’m so sorry,”

Harry’s shoulders tense. Every fiber of his being wants to believe her, but how could he? She had told him herself that things would be messy and warned him that he didn’t know what he was asking by pursuing a relationship with her. Maybe it really was all his fault for not seeing the signs, but that still didn’t change the fact that he couldn’t trust her anymore. And based on her reaction to the news of his departure, it seemed as though Alani didn’t trust him either.

“Even if you’re telling the truth,” Harry begins, slow and deliberate. “You still thought, after everything, that I would abandon you. And if that’s the kind of person you think I am, if that’s the person you wrote about—”

“Harry—”

“Then I hope you got all the material you wanted.”

“Please, don’t go.” Alani cries but it’s too late. The door slams and her heart falls.

After a beat, she races to the door and into the hallway but there’s no sign of Harry. As quickly as he had appeared into her life, he had vanished. Gone without a trace.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles x oc #ybmh #sorry besties <3

30 notes · View notes

kob131 · 3 years

Text

Morgan Le Fay (Alter Ego) My Room Lines

Morgause

“Master~ Can we stay here please? A moment’s rest may bring you far after all!”

“Ah, you really like to work don’t you? No no, I’m not accusing you of anything. I know your drive after all...”

“No matter what, it doesn’t seem I’ll get use to fighting. I wonder if either of those two would-ah. nevermind!”

Bond 1 “...Oh, sorry Master! I was spacing out there for a moment. I’m...not really use to being...heh, nevermind me!”

Bond 2 “Your magecraft seems a little shaky lately. Are you sure you’re feeling well? You eating well? Maybe a nice plate of meat and potatoes will make you feel better? ...Wh-what do you mean that’s too heavy?!”

Bond 3 “How strange. I’m still here. Usually I can’t remember where I’ve been or how I got where I am because...because...

...Well anyway, I can’t say it’s bad after all. I’d certainly be worried if one moment I was here with you and the next you left my sight. That-that can get rather scary...”

Bond 4 “... ... ... I can still feel them inside me, you know? ‘The Lady of The Lake’ and ‘The Fairy Witch’. My...other selves.

... Why? Why? WHY? Why do they have to exist? Why are they inside me? It’s not fair! I lost so much to them! So much of my life- Take, STOLEN from me by them! And even worst, they took my home away! I’m Morgause Pendragon, the daughter of Uther Pendragon! I am human! Not a fae! Not a witch! I. Am. HUMAN, ME!

So why can’t they just leave me alone?!”

Bond 5 “... I won’t be here for long. Even if this body were to see the end of your journey, I-I might not be the one in it. I was the first to fade away after all. It’s simply my fate...to be used and discarded by everything I love.

...Even so, I won’t run. As weak as I maybe in comparison to them...I won’t surrender a second of my time with you. With anyone. I’m here now. I am me.”

To Gawain “My son...my darling son. P-please don’t turn away! Please. I-I lost so much time with you. I can’t-I have to. Please, come embrace your mother. Before I’m gone.”

To Gareth “Gareth...my little pup. Look at you, you’ve grown up so much. I bet you had the lords at your beck and call. ... I wish I could have been there for you.”

To Agravain “Oh Agravain. It hurts to see you look at me so. And yet, it’s all my fault. If only I were stronger, if only I could overcome them. My little knight...I’m sorry.”

To Arturia “Arthur-no, Arturia isn’t it? To think I felt so bitter about what our father wanted...when there was so much to lose to that envy. I...I shall take my leave.”

To Mordred “Master, that knight over there?? That...wouldn’t happen to be Sir Mordred correct? ... Yes I assumed so, given her glares at me. Le Fay’s child with my own brother...There’s nothing I can do to help her, is there?”

To Morgan (Lostbelt) “You there, the witch. You have quite the nerve to show your face here. You, who abandoned her humanity for the sake of a kingdom. Your kingdom was a shame and deserved it’s fate. Glare at me all you wish, without the three of us you would be nothing.”

Likes “What do I like? Well, I always liked cooking. It was always such a treat to see my children’s faces light up when I cooked with all my heart!”

Dislikes “...Lake fae and evil witches.”

Holy Grail “Even if it is a heresy, I would like to wish upon it. Then maybe, I can finally be free.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vivian

“Master, come. We have much to do still. ...I know you must be tired, I understand your weariness. But still, we must persist.”

“There’s no need to worry about me. An adventure like this-it is a simple matter. Compared to guiding those troublesome fae...”

“Quiet, quiet, quiet. ...Sorry Master, I was...having some difficulties with...the others. Le Fay especially...”

Bond 1 “So, you have stayed by my side? How strange, most humans simply leave the lakeside after so long.”

Bond 2 “Your heart is weary. There is no point in lying. I know that feeling well myself. Perhaps I have been pushing you too hard. Come, rest. All need reprieve after all.”

Bond 3 “It seems my time has not come yet. Good. I cannot-I will not fade like before. I refuse to let things end like before.”

Bond 4 “It is so tiring. To have their thoughts, their minds inside me. Always, always a reminder. That I am more than the fae ‘Vivian’. The human princess and the raging witch-

...No. No. NO! I am here now! I will be the one to fight! I will be the one to guard the Human Order! I will be the one protect the Age of Man that Father wished for! Not the human Morgause! Not the witch Le Fay!

I am Me, Vivian, The Lady of the Lake!”

Bond 5 “Even though I am the fae Vivian, an existence incompatible with mankind. It was always the humans I loved most of all. The fae, so fickle and cruel. I guided and guarded them out of duty alone.

Why you may ask? Because it was mankind that my father Uther loved. He protected them to his last breath. And so shall I. Even if I may never see the Age of Man, I will protect and guide it. Especially you, my Master. I shall ensure your safety to death and beyond.”

To Lancelot (Berserker) “Master! Th-that figure cloaked in black! I-it can’t be! My son! This is what became of you? ... Who did this?”

To Lancelot (Saber) “I knew it. Of course my son would be here. There was no chance he wouldn’t answer the call to protect mankind. He grew into a splendid knight after all.”

To Mash “This feeling... You there, young lady with the shield. Come forward, let me take a good look. ...It really is, isn’t it? Don’t be scared young lady. I shall never hurt you. Now, come with me. I have much to discuss with you.”

To Fae Servants “*Sigh* It seems there are some troublemakers in this place isn’t there? Worry not Master, I know how to keep them on a tight leash.”

To Morgan (Lostbelt) “Ruler of the fae, huh? How pathetic. To have resorted to such evil. I do not care what your excuses are. I lead and guarded the fae myself. I sacrificed my place in the world. I expect no less of you.”

To Arturia (Archer) “How cute, thinking that little spruit is alike to my magic. Here, let me show you what a true Excalibur Vivian can accomplish.”

Likes “Besides mankind? ...I do enjoy watching the forest creatures prance about. The little bugs especially.”

Dislike “Lazy princesses and malevolent witches. That is all I’ll say.”

Holy Grail “It is a false wish granting device isn’t it? Still, if supplied with enough mana, it might just be enough to grant my wish To gain my freedom.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morgan Le Fay

“Careful now, Master. One wrong step and things will certainly go wrong. I know how much fun it is to lose yourself in the throes of battle. Hehehe...But your goal must come first.”

“That fire...that determination. Very well, I’ll join you in the fray. After all, I haven’t nearly indulged enough myself.”

“Your magecraft is rather lackluster isn’t it? Hm, whatever you call your ‘talents’, that doesn’t matter. Practice, practice, practice. Experience breeds excellence. I didn’t match Merlin with pure talent after all.”

Bond 1 “I must say, staying this way at will without being subject to the fickle whims fate...it’s rather nice. Thanks Master.”

Bond 2 “Fate is cruel. I know your pain better than most. Forced into the impossible by the will of others. But don’t let your heart waver. Through will and guile, you will gain your freedom.”

Bond 3 “Don’t hesitate to give me tasks. I find myself with more time than i know what to do with. Preferably with you around...”

Bond 4 “I’m sure you’ve heard about this before but...My other selves are still here. Deep inside, I can still here them. Their woes, their uncertainty, their hatred. All mine...

...Bwahaha! What a joke! As if I would let them trend upon me. It was my loathing that struck fear into Camelot. It was my malice that twisted the Green Knight. It was my love for Britian that allowed me to stomach sharing a bed with that liar. I am no feeble princess or passive fae. I am me, Morgan, the witch that loved Britian!”

Bond 5 “So here we stand still. I’m sure you caught on but I hate the Age of Man. Tearing away all the work I put out, fading everything I’ve done into legend. Acting as though I was never here. For it’s sins, I will always spur it.

So why am I here? Because I would rather have an Age of Man with Britian than not. Be it the destruction of history or man, I will not stand for it. I will rage and hate and burn until all is done. So long as we stand on the same ground, I will be here. I can’t trust the other two to get the job done after all.”

To Mordred “Hm, that defect of a homonculus is here? Master, you are best off sending it away. It’s incapable of following orders or performing tasks sufficiently. I would love to fix it but that’s beyond my reach.”

To Arturia (Alter) “Tch, that liar dares to attach my name to something so weak. She preaches that the strong rule over the weak, shall I teach her who is truly strong then? Gwahaha!”

To Merlin “Ah, Teacher is here too. How unusual, that fickle asshole couldn’t be asked to cut a blade of grass, let alone save humanity. He’s not even really here is he?”

To Fairy Knight Tristan “Master, this annoying brat won’t leave me alone. Acting all familiar and friendly with me... Maybe I’ll teach her what it means to truly be sadistic. Perhaps by rending her limbs asunder...”

To Arturia “So the King of Liars has come as well. Maybe a trip into Hell will teach her the place where she belongs...but that will have to wait, won’t it? She still has her uses after all...”

To Oberon-Vortigern “That mana. Another embodiment of Britian is here?! It feels like that failure Vortigern...yet...it’s so different. I must dissect him, to know!”

To Morgan (Lostbelt) “Ah yes, that other me. Heh, what a fool she turned out to be, no? She rages against man, fae and knights, wasting all her efforts in the process. Focus, my dear. Focus is the key to victory. I did not waste my time with man or fae, I put my all into the slaying of Arturia. And which of us succeeded, hm?”

Likes “A rough night with a man below me, of course.”

Dislikes “My other selves. Unlike them, I will not hide the truth.”

Holy Grail “Hm, I have no need for such a thing. Unlike them, I will not cling to a false hope. It will be my hand that cuts them out like the parasites they are.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bond 10 CE: I Am...?

One minute *I’m* home with my children One minute ^I’m^ guarding those troublesome fae One minute -I’m- cackling as I tear into his flesh

The next I’m not.

It is my duty to *lead*/^guard^/-destroy- my kin No, That is *my*/^my^/-my- duty. No, it’s *mine*/^mine^/-mine-!

...Is it?

No, I am a *princess*/^guardian^/-witch-! That is not what *I*/^I^/-I- am! Stop it! This is who *I*/^I^/-I- am!

I am *me*/^me^/-me-! I am *Me*/^Me^/-Me-! I AM *ME*/^ME^/-ME-!

I am... I...am... I...

....Who am I?

#fate series #fate grand order

21 notes · View notes

iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

Text

honestly one of my worst crush rejections from high school was when my years 9-12 crush (let’s call him rich boy) decided to do one of those stupid “like this status and i’ll…..” trend fb statuses that were big when i was in late high school back in 2011-2013….. and it was “like this and i’ll pair you with someone/something for shit & giggles!”. unfortunately for teen me, rich boy decided to pair himself with one of the girls in my group at catholic school, a post which had a load of likes….. while he paired me with fucking lord voldemort (leave me be i was still a hella HP stan at that age). but the post on MY timeline had received no likes but mine (i think) and a like on the weird asf comment that i’d made on it from one of our friends from catholic school.

like 17yo me liked rich boy’s status all bc she just wanted to see if he’d be nice to her on fb bc she was partly getting over the crush by then (mid 2013)…. but she was still hoping he’d write something stupidly romantic like “you’re the elizabeth bennett to my darcy” or some other jane austen pairing; even though she’d never bothered to read jane austen books back then lmao. or even “you’re the hermione granger to my ron weasley” (again LEAVE ME BE) or some other harry potter themed relationship lmao.

obvs it was all bc a couple of years earlier, rich boy had decided at our year 10 formal to hold one of teen me’s high heels up for her when it’d come off in a dance circle lmao. or at that point, she was even happy to be paired with his best friend that he kept trying to hint at her on some joke statuses with flirtatious undertones; that she should go out with him by tagging that friend on them lol.

the crush was also based on the one term long drama group assignment we did together in year 9, and the one (1) seemingly flirtatious comment he’d made to 14yo me in year 9/2010 when i had that short-lived typical train-wreck teen relationship with clear braces boy…. where rich boy and a couple of his friends decided to sit with us (ie to harass us) on the wooden benches at back of year 9/10 lunch area, which were playground hot property for groups to sit on.

but the point is that the flirtatious comment came out as if to sound that rich boy was jealous about that teen me was “off the market” so to speak lmao. but i remember with the drama group assignment, i hated rich boy at the start and wanted to change groups 😂, even asking my teacher to change me to another one. but he made me stay in the group with rich boy to “learn to work with him” lmao 😂😅. i was so overdramatic back then. and then i got the crush on RB like a sickness for 3 years. the jokes’ on me, as usual lol 🙄😂.

she also was holding out secretly that hopefully rich boy was staying at tafe (technical college) with her bc he liked being with her and also wanted to keep her safe from her stalker/creeper from public school (although let’s be real here, he really couldn’t do much about that lmao, that was more her job to deal with and not his) and in general she hoped he was just staying to keep her updated on what was happening at that school when her group from catholic school had stopped talking to her by mid 2013….

when looking back now, he was probs staying bc he was the top of our small tafe theatre tech class along with me lmao… so he was staying there for the good marks and not teen me’s company at all. on top of it all, by the end of the course, i’d stopped talking to him anyway. like 17/18yo me really had a rosy view of everything lmao.

and also, i haven’t seen rich boy (and by extension also clear braces boy although that’s more than 10 years now lol) in almost 10 years now lmao. i legit forgot that he existed for a while bc he never updates his fb; except when something big happens or when he gets tagged in something. or i’m also reminded that he exists when he likes one of my selfies/i update my dp or whatever else; albeit those times are obvs very, very few and far between. and like…. i’ve pretty much forgiven him for the above. bc god. we were both fucking dickhead assholes. and i suppose i should’ve actually expected some stupid witty pairing like voldemort or the like….. and not a real one lmao….. bc after all, we were always sassy/witty/sarcastic/snarky to each other at catholic school; so we had to play that bs out on our fb interactions as well.

which looking back, didn’t breed a good friendship with us either. considering i only ever went to him for rude tit-for-tat conversations, where i always made sure that i got the last quick-witted word in with criticising him when people were around us; and nothing deep and meaningful or serious lmao. bc to teen me, he was only good to talk to for a laugh mostly… but when we did try to talk about other things it was stilted and awkward; bc we didn’t really know how to be consistently nice to each other when we were alone lmao.

and tafe is also where l learnt that we didn’t really have much in common (besides liking 1-2 of the same emo bands- and things like him going to soundwave (ie aussie warped tour/slam dunk fest etc back then)… where i literally posted flirtatiously on his wall one that that i “hated” him for going to it and also made pointed statuses at him about it lmao) like lonely 14-18yo me thought we did lmao.

for example: rich boy was super into classic cinema (one of his projects in our tafe course was building a model house from alfred hitchcock’s psycho), game of thrones and quentin tarantino movies and also he loved basketball…. while i was still obsessed with harry potter as i said earlier, and still into pretty little liars and into the “…….next top model” reality tv juggernaut with australia’s and america’s next top model and the E! celeb channel; amongst other things. i loathed and despised sport, and most especially basketball lmao. i actually tried to read asoiaf/watch GOT bc he liked it lmao (and also had friends at public school who were into it)…. but i couldnt bring myself to do it at the time. like we weren’t compatible at all lmao. but teen me didn’t get it.

but yeah. unrequited teen crushes suck. so, to all of my younger followers, if i have any: if your crush acts like this don’t waste time on thinking they’ll be nice to you lmao; and drop that crush like a hot fucking potato. bc if they’re mean to you (which is what i was running under from all the shitty tween/teen shows i was watching at the time) it defs means that they do NOT like you romantically lmao. fuck that noise.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #relationships i guess #and this why i’m not dating #bc i can’t deal with this level of rejection again lmao

14 notes · View notes

soupette · 3 years

Text

Sam VOD watching live-blogging in one post

“This is not good.” Yep there we go! There’s my C!Sam crumbling under anything prison related. If he does anything especially morally corrupt this stream I will die

Where could he be? Yep sorry Sam. God I can’t wait to abuse this man more in fanfiction look at him being all mechanical and wardeny.

Check the entire thing. Security security security!!

Is he worried techno is breaking out Dream now? I would imagine he is.

Is he?? In PRISON INTERIOR! Cool!

“Ow” plz he sounds so detached

Racing through the prison!

Random thought but. C!Sam with chronic pain and issues from his long term exposure to Prison effects.

Flaw in the prison? What did I not think of? Saaam.

Maybe I should have watched Quackity first because I’m sure he had interactions with Sam after Techno dipped but.

This reminds me of that one Farfran post abt like a prison breakout through C!Sam and realizing it alongside Sam

Did he feel like this trying to figure out the TNT that caused the security issue with Tommy?

Where is Dream. Where is he. Why is he not in the cell. IS SAM FUCKING LOOKING FOR DREAM AND NOT TECHNO?? IS DREAM DEAD?

Ouch. RIP to the dog.

UGHHH I ought to watch Quackity before this huh I’m sure that would tell me but

OH LMFAO OKAY that explains it

GAHSHSJS PLZ the lore break

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK SAM AND DREAM LORE !!!!!

Is Dream’s mic weird or is it my computer lmao

Shit. Is Sam going to torture Dream himself now? What’s he gonna do?

Is he going to go against Quackity and not tell him?

“I’m a lot of things, but a liar’s not one of them.” Awesamdude will protect TommyInnit.

Sam knows about the favor. I love Sam here. Cc!Sam is so ducking good. I feel like I’m listening to an entirely different person talk! It doesn’t even SOUND like him, literally!

Or if Tommy dies, he’s dead forever. …You’re right.

CRUMBS CRUMBS CRUMBS AWESAMDAD CRUMBS

“TOO POWERFUL. WHAT IF THE WRONG PERSON KNOWS IT.” I am SLAMMING MY HEAD AGAINST EVERY WALL REPEATEDLY

I’m the perfect person to know. I’m gonna stab him SAM go OFF you’re not good yourself either but.

Sam mentioning Tommy <3333

The food thing was Dream’s idea. Yep. Interesting.

I’m interested to know how he disappeared hakshsksj

FUUUUUCK SAM BRINGING UP ALL THE INHUMANE IDEAS THAT WERE ORIGINALLY DREAM’S!! PRISON DUOOOOO

“Well, I didn’t know that I was going to end up here”

Sam is SO right. “That’s when it was okay. But now that it’s you, it’s not as fun.”

“I didn’t realize how bad it was. I thought they’d be fine with potatoes. I thought they’d be fine not seeing the courtyard.”

Sam is so… calm. I feel like he hasn’t yelled once.

Everything you hate about the prison was your idea.

I’m glad. I’m glad you haven’t seen the light in a while.

You know what you put Tommy through? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOUR HONOR THATS MY FATHER F U CK YOU.

You wanted this to be for Tommy, Dream. We both know it.

Did he build it for Tommy? Of course he wanted to put him in after, but I’m so curious if this is gonna be confirmation or denial. Personally I believed it was always intended for him, or maybe for Phil or something.

That way you could flaunt Tommy, who you’ve got stuck in a cell, in front of everyone. That’s why you wanted people to be able to visit.

Just… Sam, you and Tommy could have had it all.

I cannot quote it all but EVERYTHING he is saying about Tommy. Fuck you I’m still truthing he’ll make up with Tommy properly

I’m really liking this interaction. It kind of reminds me of interactions I’ve written but not as hysteric and angry and death-y.

Maybe next time it won’t be Quackity who comes into the cell. Maybe it’ll be me!

Dream is so quiet.

Sam hajshsk a book about that come on, I say, knowing it’s completely in character

Is Dream really going to say nothing?

Are they going to redeem this guy? Make him feel bad about his actions? I really can’t tell. I don’t know where else they’re going with him.

And that’s the stream!

#dsmp spoilers #dream smp spoilers #dsmp liveblog #soup’s liveblog #dsmp lore

11 notes · View notes

hankwritten · 3 years

Text

The Weight of Other People’s Thoughts

Demoman/Soldier, 2k

Request for @lilythedragon05, Scotland

It was a bad idea to follow that tugging cord at the center of his being, the one that called him to Ullapool, and he never would have dared to entertain it if he knew it would have brought him here.

Jane sat by the ocean, stone’s throw from the town, but his distasteful frown kept his eyes locked firmly ahead instead of gazing dubiously at it. What had he been thinking? Coming to Ullapool had only make him feel worse, not better, a smirch against Tavish’s memory if there ever was one. Rubbing in Tavish’s face that he’d never go home again—and here Jane was, free to frolic across the whole damn planet, even if it took him to stupid countries ending in ‘land’.

He leaned further over his knees, barely feeling the sea breeze as he thought about his dead friend.

His murdered friend, he reminded himself. Murdered by someone who he thought he could trust, who now had to carry that guilt with him for the rest of his life.

Everywhere Jane looked it reminded him of Tavish. Maybe that’s why he’d come: self-flagellation. Appropriate punishment. Or maybe he was so desperate not to forget, he’d take the pain that came with remembering. Torturing himself truly, since he could look on the hills and surrounding coast that he had once only known through enthusiastic descriptions, see for himself the places where a young Tavish had played with dummy-grenades. He could imagine him talking to the local shopkeeps. He could practically see him walking up this very path, groceries in one hand, a newspaper filled with fried fish in the other as he took a large bite out of it-

Wait.

Tavish stopped dead, his face enveloped in utter shock. Still mid-chew, he said, “Jdra-ne?”

Jane leapt to his feet. “Apparition!” He pointed an accusing finger at the offending spirit. “Do not think for a second I will be cowed into repentance by the spectral manifestation of my guilt!”

Tavish nearly choked as he tried to swallow his bite of fish. “I…what?”

“Ghosts serve no purpose on my journey to recovery,” Jane continued. “Not even ones that look like my dead friend! Be gone creature of the other world!”

“What I- I’m not bloody dead.”

Jane squinted at him. He definitely didn’t look dead, totally opaque, no fettered chains representing his sins in life and his guilt over failing to help his fellow Man.

“…Are you sure?” Jane pressed.

“You’d think someone would know if they were dead,” Tavish grumbled poignantly, now glaring at Jane for some reason.

“I killed you though. It was-” -pickaxe right through the sternum, crushing, all the red bits coming out when they should have been in- “That was definitely fatal.”

“Aye, was, but I managed to limp my was back into Respawn range. Took a better part of an hour, but I made it.”

There was something odd to Tavish’s voice, something he wasn’t saying, but the realization that he might actually-seriously-really be alive was starting to set in and Jane was too afraid to believe it.

He took a step closer, past the bench he’d been enjoying his solitude at and completing a full circle around the Demoman. Tavish’s head followed him all the while, up until Jane came to a stop in front of him. “…Promise you are not a ghost?”

“I’m not a ghost,” Tavish said, as convincingly honest as he’d always been. Not that his acting skills hadn’t covered for his mendacity before-

-no, no that was a trick, it all turned out to be a lie a damn lie-

“Fine then. You’re not.” Though Jane would keep his eyes peeled for phantasmal anyway. “What the hell are you doing here then?”

“I live here,” Tavish huffed. “Gravel Wars are over, wasn’t going to spend the rest of my years in some blighted desert. Better question is what are you doing here, yank?”

Crap. Well, maybe a half-truth would suffice. “You always talked so much about Scotland I thought…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.”

Tavish stood there, one hand still clasped around his groceries. The moment dragged on, vast seas of unsaid things between them, of regrets still festering, to which he ended with, “would you like me to show you around?”

Jane looked down, trying not to stare at his shoes but instead at the foreign soil around them. “…Sure. Why not.”

“Everything is incredibly vertical,” Jane complained as they climbed up yet another hill Tavish insisted was part of the journey.

“Aye, that’s why they call it the Highlands, BLU.”

Jane hated how fucking smug he sounded. Hated, and missed it all the same, missed how this bastard could set a fire in his gut just with one of his damn smiles.

“And there she is,” the Demoman said proudly as the crested the final ridge.

“Damn. Really went to crap in the last couple centuries.”

“Oi, don’t point fingers at me! I’ve only been around for forty of those.”

DeGroot Keep was shriveled and hunchbacked since Jane had last seen it, folding under its own legacy as ages had eaten the tallest spires first and chewed its way down to the cob. Still, he could just make out the choke points, the parapets, the places he used to go charging into with his mêlée weapon held high—all sanded down by the years, the vaguest memories of control points where a portal in time had briefly allowed Jane to witness their existence.

“So what,” he asked, following Tavish into the slight dip in the Highlands where the Keep nestled, “you live in here like some sort of anti-Italian?”

“An anti- what now?”

“Anti-Italians! Despises sun, allergic to garlic, doesn’t show up in mirrors, no sex life. Basic literary reference, RED.”

Tavish rolled his eye. “No, I’m not squatting in the dilapidated castle. Got a perfectly nice home down in the village, I just happen to have inherited this along with…all the other crap.” He waved his hand. “I’ve considered shelling out to having it restored but…dunno. Seeing it go from its heyday to this makes me think that in another couple hundred years it’ll just fall apart again.”

He sat on a piece of tumbled rock, one that used to hang over the Keep’s gate, a bright and shining keystone now used as a stool. Jane joined him.

“Don’t get much of this at home, do you? Old crap. Yer country’s still a wee babe you know, nothing’s even falling apart yet.”

“Incorrect!” Jane amended. “There are plenty of old things in America!”

“For last time lad, Thomas Edison wasn’t immortal, and he didn’t be build a second Shangri-La under Pennsylvania Avenue.”

“Your statements reveal both your ignorance and your compunction, but I was actually talking about mounds.”

“Mounds,” Tavish repeated dubiously.

“Yes! Mounds! Fourteen hundred years ago Americans were building ceremonial mounds in order to track celestial events! They look like animals from the top, lynx, bears, fish, all that crap. I used to walk next to this bird one every day on the way to school.”

Tavish blinked at him, tilting his head. “No offense Jane, but including Native people usually isn’t in your worldview. Where’d you even learn all ‘o that?”

“My mother taught me, so think insinuating more cyclops—lest you show disrespect against her memory and I am forced to take out your other socket!”

Tavish raised his hands defensively, but there was a smile creeping at the corner. “Alright, alright, I get ye. A Mum’s honor is a serious thing.”

“Hm. Good.” Jane glanced ahead, suddenly afraid of lapsing back into silence, as though Tavish would start to slip away from him if they did. “How is your mother?”

“Ah…she passed some years back.”

“…I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright.” Tavish paused. “I still see her sometimes.”

“Metaphorically or…?”

Tavish glanced at him, but then away just a quickly, as though frightened of what he might see. “I’d rather not talk about it, if that’s alright with you.” Instead, he stared ahead, the sun setting between its cradle within the mountains. “Heh. At least there’s something that’s the same no matter where you go. Always a sunset.”

“Guess so.”

Still, Jane found he liked this one better than the ones back home. At least, better than all the ones he’d seen before he’d met Tavish.

The next day was spent in the village, and Jane couldn’t help but yearn for more of Tavish’s time, more of his attention. His friend. His friend who was still alive. Tavish had a kind word for every person they passed, all of whom didn’t seem to notice Jane at all, simply starting up a conversation with their fellow local and submitting to the rhythm of the morning. Breakfast was some sort of potato scone, but Jane wasn’t hungry, so he just walked beside Tavish as the other man ate. They found themselves at the same bench where they’d first run into each other.

“So,” Tavish asked. “Ullapool everything you thought it would be?”

“Hm. It’s…nice. It is obviously not perfect for geographical reasons entirely outside of its control, but. I understand how it made you the man you are.”

“Me? Nah.” Tavish wiped off his mouth with his sleeve. “I made myself like this.”

Again, he wouldn’t look at Jane, wouldn’t say what they were both thinking. That things had gone wrong, that they had both fucked up. One of them more than the other, but Jane had found him again, and maybe they could still figure something out, still have time to unearth all that they had deemed too dangerous and buried in the sand.

Jane reached forward, and put his hand over where Tavish’s was resting on the bench.

And watched it pass straight through.

Jane sprang away. “I knew it! I knew you were a ghost!”

Likewise, Tavish stood up sharply. “I am not. I bloody told you I was’t.”

“Liar! I will not be swayed by any more perjury from your ethereal mouth!”

“I’m not lying!” Tavish snarled at him, his eye dark and narrowed, burning hotter than the words would imply. “I never lied. I never wanted any of-”

“Blasphemy!”

“Would you just listen for-!”

“You cannot guilt me apparition! For I know that-”

“Shut up! Just fucking shut up!” Tavish’s fist closed around the neck of his scrumpy bottle, half drained before noon, and threw it full force at Jane’s head.

Jane raised an arm to block the incoming blow, but the impact never arrived. A second ticked by, then two, then three, and slowly he lowered his forearm to reveal the panting Demoman behind it, shoulders heaving and an inscrutable expression tearing across his features.

“How’s that for the truth you bleeding idiot,” he said.

Jane looked to Tavish, then rotated his neck slowly, staring at the bottle that had landed in the grass behind him. He blinked, willing what he was looking at to make sense, to suddenly disappear and go back to where things were a second ago. To believe he hadn’t seen that bottle connected with his own nose.

There was something he didn’t want to do, but he did it anyway, turning his gaze forward inch by agonizing inch, staring down at his own hands. Fully taking how translucent they were.

The moment shattered, Tavish tore his eye away. “Fuck. Fuck I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve…”

Jane was still looking at his hands. There was panic, deep and overwhelming rising within him, but there was no raised pulse to accompany it, no sweat on the back of his neck.

He lifted his chin to Tavish. “What? I don’t…”

“I didn’t die,” Tavish said thickly. “You did. I killed you and I walked off and you just bled out for who knows how long and-”

-the pickaxe but also a sword, just as deadly buried two feet into his chest and the man above him trying to shove it in a few extra inches, strangled screaming as it pushed deeper-

Jane hadn’t been paying attention to the last half of Tavish’s muttered confession. The Demoman was crying now, pawing furiously at his one lone eye as stared out valley below them, looking anywhere but at Jane as his sclera turned red.

“I’m sorry,” he sputtered. “Christ Jane I’m so fucking sorry. If you came to haunt me or whatever I just- I just want you to know that you can’t hate me more than I hate myself. That it’s been killing me every day since.”

He collapsed on the bench, curling away from Jane as he buried his face in his hands.

It could have been some sort of trick. A ghost bottle or…no Jane wouldn’t even try. He attempted to remember what flight he had come in on but couldn’t. He grasped for how many years since the Gravel Wars had ended, and couldn’t find the answer.

Jane was a ghost, yet everything still hurt as much as it had when he had lived. Immaterial, and he still so badly wanted to touch Tavish’s hand.

He sat on the bench next to him. “I didn’t come to make you feel bad, Tavish.”

“Then why did you come?” It sounded like it was meant to be venomous, but instead it only sounded empty—empty and wet with tears, like a plastic bag trampled into a puddle.

Jane looked down at his hands. His useless, ghost hands that he could still knit together. “I…I wanted to see you,” he said truthfully. “I missed you.”

Tavish looked at him, bleary-eyed. He whispered, “I missed you too. So damn much.”

“Whatever I was doing before, I missed you enough to come here. To someplace I thought you would be.”

A panicked jolt crossed Tavish’s face. “You’re not leaving, are you?” The same man who a moment ago thought Jane had come to smother him with guilt was despondent at the idea that Jane might go after all, that he wouldn’t get a chance to hurt himself with his own regret anymore.

“No, no not yet,” Jane said. He tried his best to wrap and arm around Tavish’s shoulder. The mortal shivered where their skin met.

“Okay,” Tavish said quietly. “Okay. Good. Thank you. I don’t think I can…When I saw you sitting up here I couldn’t believe it could be fore something good. That the only reason you’d want to haunt me would be because you hated me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

It was true. Even though he remembered now, remember lying there, thinking how they’d killed each other, Jane had only ever hated the man who’d believed the TV’s lies.

“I really did come because I was thinking of you. Missing you.” Jane paused. “Today was fun. I’m sure you have a lot of other places to show me, right private?”

“…Sure. Sure whatever you want.” Tavish wiped at his nose. “I’m sorry Jane.”

“It’s alright Tavish.” He held his head in the crook of Tavish’s neck. “I’m sorry too.”

#demosolly #boots n bombs #tf2 fanfiction

30 notes · View notes