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neteyamsyawntu · 9 months

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Love Me Tender (Lazy sex with Neteyam)

Neteyam X Na'vi Reader

✨Friendly Disclaimer: The content of this story contains aged-up characters! If this is something that makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to click or scroll away. The last thing I want is for anyone to read something they are uncomfortable with, however if you decide to interact with any negativity, you will be blocked from my blog as a result.

Warnings: 🔞MINORS DNI🔞, SMUT, P in V , dirty talk, mentions of edging, teasing, dom!Neteyam, swearing, vulgar language, overstimulation

“Neteyam please…” you beg in efforts to convince your mate to fuck you properly, moving your hips against his nearly still ones to urge him on. Neteyam had you laying on your side, his hand caressing your hip to stimulate you further, as your body grew more and more sensitive. “No squirming yawne… stay like this for a bit longer. Ohh you’re clenching around me so tight.. you really are desperate for more aren’t you, tanhì?”, he teases giving your hip a firm squeeze as he continues to rock his own at a mind numbingly slow pace, leaning back slightly with his other hand on his hip, just watching his cock slip in and out of your soaked cunt.

Although Neteyam typically puts your pleasure before his own, the day had been long and strenuous needing nothing, but to feel your warm, gummy walls hugging his cock. After going at this teasing pace for so long, your walls start to become hypersensitive. One lazy thrust in particular brushing against your g-spot just right, caused you to let out an involuntary whimper at the fleeting sensation. It catches you off guard when in the next second Neteyam grasps firmly onto your hip, using it to pull you roughly onto his cock as he forcefully thrusts into you. Not too fast… yet hard enough to make your body jolt at the sudden impact. A yelp falling from your lips at the action.

“Mmm so pretty… you sound so vulnerable my love… are you really that sensitive?” Your mate continues to tease, lifting your leg so that your calf rests against his shoulder, his fingers massaging your thigh, groping it in slow circles. The new angle allowing new sensations to fester, however it still wasn’t enough to scratch that itch that had been building since the two of you had started, “T-Teyam please.. my yawntu I can’t take this anymore” you plead desperately, your face pressing into the cot below you. “Why do you rush, yawne? Besides…” another hard thrust, matching that of his previous one, earning the same reaction from you. Neteyam lowers your leg, only to push it up to your chest, driving himself deep inside of you, holding there while leaning down to nuzzle against your ear as he whispers hoarsely, “…We have the whole night. Let’s enjoy it, hm?”. You nod your head in response, only because you fear that whatever words that would leave your throat would not be coherent enough to understand with the way his cock was pressing against your crevix, earning a soft chuckle from your mate before he presses a tender kiss to your temple. “Does that feel good, yawne?” He groans breathily into your ear, grinding his cock head against your cervix tenderly, loving the way your body immediately starts to squirm and grind back on him. “M-mhm!”, “Yeah? You like to feel me filling you up like this?” He whispers back to you, his breath hot against your ear. “Y-yes!” You reply in a barely audible whimper, closing your eyes tight as you enjoy the feeling while it lasts, knowing he was doing all of this just to taunt you further.

“Haha alright, lay on your stomach for me…” he purrs, pulling out momentarily to watch as you roll from your position on your hip to lay flat on your stomach, thighs squeezing together. “Good girl… f-fuck..” He breathily whispers as he pushes himself back into you, slowly massaging and spreading your ass cheeks as he continues a steady pace of hard yet slow thrusts. Ears twitching and flicking with each small whine or whimper that leaves you. You arch your back, pressing your rear against his pelvis at another fleeting attempt to get Neteyam to speed up, only to be met with his hands gripping your ass tighter, slightly pushing you forward, “You are going to make me cum if you keep pressing on me like that…my needy little tìyawn, be patient for me… please..”. His voice was becoming more and more shaky with each stroke of his cock, unintentionally edging himself all in attempts to tease you, releasing small whimpers that he tries to muffle by biting his lower lip. This new realization gives you an idea, carefully reaching back behind you, you grasp one of his wrists at first, as if to egg him on, before drifting down between his legs and wrapping your fingers around the base of his cock, causing his hips to jerk in surprise. “Haah! S-shit yawne..” Neteyam gulps, brows knitting together, mouth falling agape as he continues to rock into you, allowing your hand to stay where it is for the time being, letting you pump him as he thrusts languidly into you. His restraint wearing thin showing in the way his cock twitches within the confines of your aching pussy.

“Yawne.. y-yawne… yaw-haahh…” you can’t help, but giggle at your mate’s resolve rapidly depleting, listening to his weak, trembling pleads. “What’s the matter Nete? Getting sensitive?” You purr with a cheeky smirk, looking back at him from over your shoulder. The minute the words leave your mouth, Neteyam has your hand removed from his cock, pinning it down behind your back, his other hand grasping the back of your neck, pushing your face further into the cot. “Don’t toy with me, muntxa.” Neteyam growls, pressing himself deep into your cunt once more, shifting his hand to cup your throat, pulling your head to face upward toward the ceiling of your marui, “You want me to fuck you that badly? Then say it.”. Shivering at his sudden change in demeanor, you muster up the courage to keep on with your game, pushing your rear back onto him just as you did before, “Mmm my Nete… I can feel how badly you want to cum inside me. Do it… ram your cock inside of me like I know you wa- ahh!” You’re suddenly cut off when your body is bucked forward as Neteyam slams his hips against your plush ass. “Such a dirty little mouth… I’m going to make it scream my name. Take it, take all of me, yawne.”

Punched noises escape you as Neteyam begins a vigorous pace of rough and short thrusts, your body bouncing with his every buck. The angle in which your body was contorted by him made it all the easier for his cock to abuse your g-spot. Your free hand aimlessly grips the cot beneath you, body trembling as you attempt to crawl out of your mate’s overly passionate grasp, only for him to pull you right back by your hips, “Is this not what you wanted, yawne? What you were begging for? I know it feels good, you’re clenching onto me so tightly… I can hardly keep myself together.” Neteyam groans, his voice wavering as he picks up his pace, jutting his hips into you over and over again, hitting every raw and sensitive ridge of your cunt. The pressure rapidly building in your core was driving you crazy, nearly screaming as the knot in your stomach grew tighter and tighter, “Oh Nete! Oh great mother- Don’t s-stop, don’t stop I’m so close!” You plead, body writhing as much as it can as you are forced to take thrust after thrust under Neteyam’s weight.

A faint chuckle is heard from over your shoulder, as Neteyam bends down toward your ear once more, “Anything for my pretty girl… just keep saying my name, yawne.. cum for me.” He growls into your ear, nibbling on its tip as he rails you from behind. The way Neteyam’s cock was sliding through your velvety walls with such ease made it difficult for you to even think straight, your body trembling as your orgasm came to its peak, crashing over with an intense snap of the knot in your core, “Net-Nete! My Teyam!”. Neteyam’s heavy panting fills your ears as you steadily come down from your high, his hips sputtering as his own release closed in on him, grunting helplessly as you milked him dry, continuing to pump his seed into you even as his cock began to soften, before collapsing onto your back with an exasperated sigh, holding himself up by his forearms, as if to not completely crush you under his body weight. Gently shifting your hair from off your neck, Neteyam begins to leave a trail of gentle kisses from your shoulder to your neck and up to your jawline. “My yawne… oh my yawne..” he coos breathlessly to you, his hips softly stirring his cock inside of you, earning tired, strained whines from your weak form. “Was that hard enough for you, my love?” Neteyam whispers sweetly against your skin, his words slightly muffled as he continues to pepper kisses along your cheek, “Or do I need to give you an example of just how passionately I can fuck you?” His soft voice morphs into a deep rumble, opening his mouth to gently bite the flesh of your cheek, stirring his already hardening cock in you with more purpose. “T-Teyam… my tìyawn, I need a moment. My body is too weak” you whimper softly, eyes closed from exhaustion as you continue a steady stream of panting. “Oh? But you told me not to stop… and I would hate to disappoint my mate” Neteyam purrs, his accent heavy and emphasizing the word mate as it leaves his lips. You could already tell by the way that your mate was carefully adjusting your position, rolling you onto your back so you could meet his gaze, just how hungry he had been for you all day and that this was hardly the end of what was to be many rounds of passionate love making.

Thank you to @pandoraslxna, @jakexneytiri, and @headsincloud9 for fueling my inspiration for this smutty little drabble. As we get closer to 1k followers, I get more and more motivated to create exciting stories for you all to enjoy. Please accept this fic as a token of my appreciation while I continue to work on I Need You part 2 and my 1k special fic!

Tag-list:

@tiredmamaissy @jakexneytiri @neytris @jake-sullys-whore @live-laugh-neteyam @zynn4 @eywascall @christinechickiee @fanboyluvr @afro-hispwriter @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @bigdikzaddy @aonungsmate @pandorxxx @arminsgfloll @netemoono @innixyly @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @blackchim3ra @crazy4books1 @neteyamforlife @bajadotcom @kiri-tuk @samistars @riatesullironalite @liluvtojineteyam @yevyyevs @itzgabz22 @yeosxxx @bubbletae97 @disdick6903 @avaxt22 @neteyamsluvts @simp4ff @verveta345 @pandoraslxna @teyamsbitch @neyetams @erm2020quizeanos @headsincloud9

#avatar #avatar the way of water #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam smut #avatar twow #avatarsmut #neteyam sully smut #neteyam x reader #neteyam x na'vi!reader #dom!neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #tw aged up #aged up neteyam #neteyam smut drabble #smut drabble

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kit-williams · 17 days

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Can you imagine yandere Perturabo and yandere Lion?

Yes I can! Trying my best to not let my Perty Bias get the better of me!

Yandere Perturabo might do better with a darling... might be able to stop that man from death spiraling via negative thoughts but that's a big might. Oh he's very particular about his darling (just as equally as Konrad might be now that I think about it) but the poor darling who takes a look at something he made and has that meme moment of "shut up I'm experiencing child like wonder" it then becomes priority number one to grab you. Which really shouldn't be hard... doesn't even have to get his sons to help depending on their station a simple order too but Perturabo is also mischievous (hasn't been in awhile but there are traces of his mischievous personality that he once had before he became really bitter) I can see him also just being some sort of secret admirer if he doesn't feel the need to snatch them up right away. To watch the smile blossom on their face whenever they get a gift or spying them showing it off with glee. He might start leaving hints on who the sudden admirer is... he rather you walk into the pretty little enclosure he's made verses having to throw you in... after all you wear those pretty delicately made iron bangles so nicely he'd hate to have to leash you up to make you stay.

Yandere Lion is as I have always said about him... he is a beast in the shape of a man where Russ is a man in the shape of a beast. Lion would see something or rather in this case someone who tickles something on the inside of him and he would feel that want. What people think he should have verses what he wants are very different... he doesn't want a wilting little thing under him... he wants his pretty little feline under him to also hiss and bite back as he mates... and breeds. Perhaps he figures a one and done might get it out of his system... scratch that itch verses letting it fester and become annoying. Oh but he'll find out you're like catnip and he can't keep you away... no one is telling him that he cannot bite... he cannot mark... no one but himself but those moans under him just only encourage it. Oh yes if he does go for trying you out to get the desire out of his system he will quickly find out that is rather impossible and you just have to accept your fate... Oh yes I still see this applying for both a young 30k Lion as well as a 40k Lion, who feels even less inclined to play the courtly games. But yes... don't worry too much about what's going on and where you're going let him just let you feel good and just worry about bearing him cubs.

(I really couldn't resist with the cat puns) ((I'm so sorry))

@bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog @thevoidscreams @barn-anon

#warhammer 40k #reply #answer #warhammer 30k #yandere primarchs #yandere #male yandere #primarchs #perturabo #yandere perturabo #lion el'jonson #yandere lion el'jonson #kit writes

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beegalactica · 3 months

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the it girl's guide to handling rejection

So the one thing that could possibly go wrong finally did... What now?

You put yourself out there; you went for that person, you applied for that opportunity, you tried that thing that had been on your mind for ages, and it didn't work out. Maybe you feel upset with the world and wonder why it always has to be YOU that misses out, or maybe you internalise it all and completely think that it's definitely your fault. Sometimes it is hard to accept how things happen in life because we feel like we were so close, like it could've been us, but ultimately it wasn't because we weren't 'good enough'.

As humans, we always feel the need to be in control of every little thing in our lives, so when something doesn't work out as planned, we ask ourselves: "What did I do wrong? Why not me?". Rejection is a part of life. You are worth so much more than just settling and accepting the bare minimum because you may be desperate, so that's why you don't get that guy or that job.

It's all because there is a greater movement happening in your life that you can't see. After all, you're just hyper-focusing on this one specific aspect. Bigger things are happening for you than you can ever imagine, and if you settle or get complacent where you are right now, you won't be driven to seek out that greater thing, and you won't get to experience it.

You know that it's all supposed to get better. You know that the pain will stop one day and you'll forget all about it, but before you get to that point, it's so hard to even think about it when you feel so negative in the present moment. You just feel this tightness in your chest and it feels like you can't breathe, but I promise you, you will breathe again.

Here are some ways to navigate rejection instead of letting it break down the person that you are:

Cry, yell, do whatever you need to do: the worst thing you can do is let it fester inside until it eats you up. Talk out loud - let yourself truly hear what it is that you feel. It hits you so much harder when you hear yourself be so upset, but acknowledgement is the first step.

Write about it: I will always be the biggest advocate for journaling but this doesn't even have to be formal in any way. Open your notes app and just dump whatever it is that's on your mind. Save It with just the date as the title and one day, maybe in the next week, month or even years, when you feel so much better, you'll be able to look back on that note and have so much proof in your life that you got over it.

Think about what's next: You went out of your way and did that thing, even if it didn't end up the way you would have liked. What are you going to do now to move on? It's better to think about what's next, after having done it anyway, than spend the rest of your life wondering what if.

Always remember to take a step back and express gratitude for the place that you are, even when it feels like there is nothing to be grateful for. The fact that you woke up today is a blessing, even if you spent the whole day in bed. You're not going to be upset one day and magically be perfectly fine the next day, it WILL take time, but it is possible. Just as it is possible for 'bad' things to happen, it is more than possible for amazing things to happen to you and I know that they will.

take care of yourself 💗

#lifeblr #becoming that girl #girlblogger #girlblogging #it girl #self improvement #that girl #journal #journalling #self care #self love #self reflection #healing #rejection #gratitude #mental health #advice

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amuseoffyre · 6 months

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There's something poetic about the way Stede and Ed's journeys in S1 and S2 are cycling around each other. They're circling in towards a point where they will meet as themselves, but right now, they've both come in with so many preconceptions and illusions of who and what they are within their own worlds and each others.

Ed aspires to a better life and believes that Stede has that with his all his quirky, fun, weird little things ("you got it all figured out"). He willfully chooses to ignore why a rich man might actually find some kind of comfort and safety in the world of piracy, convinced by the end of S1 that it was all about Bonnet's playthings and that "we were just playing pirates".

He doesn't hear Stede when Stede says he "very much does know" what it feels like to be treading water, waiting to drown, because to him, Stede is something he wants to be. He doesn't see the flaws and the cracks and the trauma underlying it all.

Likewise, Stede does get to meet Ed as Ed first and foremost, but when he finds out he's Blackbeard, there is a kind of fanboy joy about just how cool and fascinating and brilliant his idol is.

Even though Ed tells him how he's struggling, the fact that Ed keeps on mentioning that it's boring is the thing that Stede latches onto. He does the treasure hunt to keep Ed from getting bored, he shows him things to spark his interest and entertain him.

They both get a storyline where they get to cross the streams and experience each other's world: Ed gets to be Jeff the Accountant in a fancy party ship and Stede becomes the Legendary Gentleman Pirate in the Republic. In both situations, it seems perfect and fun and fantastic, but the shine comes off and the issues are still there, simmering beneath, and never get addressed.

And the thing is that is makes perfect sense for both of them to squash down all the stuff that's actually bothering them. For Ed, being vulnerable is a danger, it's showing your belly to someone who may be an enemy, it's baring your throat and in a world where trust is a rare commodity, he absolutely does not trust anyone.

He says himself he only ever told one person about killing his dad and even then, it only came on the back of being triggered into a horrendous panic attack and Stede coming after him to comfort him (and hoooee, that speaks a lot for Ed going after Stede in 2x06). He's suppressed it and contained it and lets it sit there and fester, layers of scar tissue and self-loathing forming over it.

It's also why he sits with his issues on his own, talks to the people who have been around him the longest and makes his decision on his own. He is used to operating as a single entity without having to take into consideration how his actions and decisions impact on other people. He's only just learned how to take accountability for his actions like 2 days ago.

Stede, on the other hand, has told no one anything about what's going on inside his head. When we have the flashbacks with his father, we can see why: every time he expressed an opinion about his thoughts and wishes and ideas, he was shot down. By the time he was married off, he has learned to couch his negative reactions in passive statements instead of saying exactly what he's feeling.

And even when his past is brought up, like when Nigel brings up the story of the rowboat, he tries to brush it off and pretend he doesn't know what they're talking about. He prefers to bottle up the guilt, shame and inadequacy he feels and keep them locked away because he's spent a lifetime being ridiculed for his feelings and emotions and expressing them with the risk of being shot down in flames terrifies him.

He did express himself directly once in S1: his rant about drinking and being pelted by coconuts and not liking Ed when he's like this and the same day, Ed chose to leave him, so he doubles down.

We see him trying to maintain the facade that he's doing well, even in the letters he writes to Ed. Everything is about how they're getting on and that he hopes to see him, but when it all falls apart, the negative emotions are only addressed to the Wanted poster.

It's very telling that he only confides in a handful of people about how he's feeling across both seasons and they are Mary, Zheng and Anne. Mary, it comes on the back of a murder attempt. Zheng, it comes after he's told the crew got rid of Ed. And Anne it's when he and Ed are still butting emotional heads and it takes that forced hand to make him actually come out and express his real emotions to Ed for the first time in person.

There's something poignant about them both trying to find their way to this idea of the man they love, but both being so caught up in the illusion they've built around them that they go straight past them.

Ed has become what Stede was in S1: the man who dropped his entire life, his partner, his family and his world to go and follow a career he has no experience of because it feels safer than where he is right now. And Stede has become exactly what he thought he needed to be, to be worthy of Ed: a fearsome legendary pirate in all the ways he criticised Ed in 1x06.

"I don't like who you are around this guy," he says about Ed when he's in Jack's company, and Ed tells him "This is who I am. This is me" and now, Stede has become that. He's emulated that. This is who Ed said he is. Only he finds Ed, giddy and accepted and finally, finally considering himself Ed's equal, and Ed tells him "I don't know who I am" and leaves him.

They've been so caught up in their perceptions of this idea of who their partner is that they haven't actually looked beneath the the facade.

And a big part of the problem is that neither of them know who they are. They know who they're 'meant' to be according to the society around them and the people who shaped them ("nothing but a weak-handed, soft-hearted, lily-livered little rich boy" and "not those kind of people"). They know who they've been told to be.

Before they can go any further, they need to figure themselves out and what that means for them and their relationship with each other.

#ofmd s2 #ofmd meta #stede bonnet #ed teach #long post

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hom3landr · 1 year

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plz I need “show me how much you missed me”

Homecoming

18+

You always know just how to welcome him back

Having him back in your arms again is more potent than any drug. You feel secure, loved, taken care of by someone who would let no harm come to you. The loneliness that festers inside you like a rot, eating you from the inside out, is blissfully washed away by the sheer overwhelm of his presence. Anyone else would be terrified by the force with which Homelander loves. You’d be wounded if he loved you any less, burned by a lifetime of lukewarm affection that inevitably turned into cruel indifference. No one ever bothered enough to care before. So even though blood still mats his hair and his embrace has stained you with red, you cling to him desperately.

He tastes like iron, his tongue pressing desperately against yours. His grip flexes on your hips as he fights to contain the strength of his passion. You’re the lucky one because you have no limit to how tightly you can clutch him to you. You can feed that neediness inside you without worrying that your too eager hands might rend flesh from bone. There is a freedom in your weakness that you do not hesitate to take advantage of. Your hand buries itself in his hair and tugs, the strands sticky under your fingers. He follows your lead as he reluctantly pulls away to meet your gaze. Something hungry inside you wakes up.

His eyes are hazy, intoxicated and open in a way you haven’t seen before. There is a subtle unspoken shift in the air as you realize that somewhere along the line, the question of who holds the power no longer has a definite answer. You gently push on his chest, guiding him back until his legs hit the bed. His gaze is fixed on yours, eager and curious. If he wasn’t undone by lust, he’d be almost amused as he watches you stretch unused muscles for the first time. As it stands, his muddled brain clings to your guidance.

You surprise him when you move around him to climb onto the bed yourself. You settle yourself on top of the pillows as you spread your legs, slowly revealing that you are bare under your silky nightdress. Something delicious brews in your gut as he swallows thickly, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip.

“Show me how much you missed me.” You purr.

His eyelashes flutter for half a second before a wicked grin makes its way across his face. His eyes are dark and hungry as he climbs onto the bed. It doesn’t take him long to decide exactly how he wants to show you, his mouth already watering. He crawls to you like an animal who’s ready to feast on its prey. It would be easy to melt into the pillows and let him have his way. He knows exactly how to make you feel good. But tonight feels different and you aren’t ready to give away this opportunity just yet. So when he places a warm hand on your thigh, ready to spread you to his liking, you bat it away with your knee. Surprisingly he retreats, his eyes sharp and wary he waits for your next move.

“No hands.”

His expression falters, not negatively, but as a result of his brain recalibrating this new dynamic. You’ve been firm with him before but never bossy and the almost painful throb of his cock makes his head spin. Without breaking eye contact, he shakily moves both hands behind his back. You feel borderline drunk as you realize how much his current position reflects a pose normally meant to instill a sense of authority. Which is something that he is now handing silently over to you. You don’t say a word except to drape your legs over his shoulders, making your intentions perfectly clear. The blood still soaking his costume leaves crimson smears on your thighs as he leans forward to bury his face between your legs.

He doesn’t warm you up like he normally does. He’s eager from the start, after starving for days. It’s almost overwhelming as he sucks on your clit like it’s the only thing tethering him to this world. Without having his hands to hold him up, every shift and movement creates delicious friction as his aching cock has no choice but to grind against the bed. He whines desperately as he licks you with determination.

Your hand returns to his hair, using it for leverage as you grind against his face. Without him holding you down, you can truly use him the way you want to. He’s at the mercy of your movements, constantly adjusting for the best angle. You tug roughly at his hair when he pulls away briefly to give a sharp nip to your thigh. He grunts and looks up at you with a fierce glare but the effect is dampened by the fact that his mouth is still sealed to your aching clit. You’d pull him off to teach him a lesson if you had any self-control. So you use a different tactic instead.

“Be a good boy for me. Can you do that?” You coo and his brow furrows like you’ve wounded him. He pants into your soaking cunt as your heels dig into his back. He nods and the brush of his nose against your clit causes your vision to white out for half a second. It’s so fucking good.

He’s a blood-soaked god and you have him on his knees and moaning into you like it’s the only reason he was put on this earth.

He must have really missed you.

It isn’t long before the sheer overstimulation causes Homelander to freeze and shake. He keens as he rests his damp forehead against your bloody thigh, grinding against the sheets through the tight spandex of his pants. You pet his hair gently, putting your own pleasure on the backburner as you guide him through his. You whisper gentle praises and affirmations as he shudders. You wonder if you need to give him a moment to collect himself but before the thought can fully form he’s back. Before, he was feasting, trying to soak up as much of you as possible with no real strategy. His orgasm has not dampened his desire but it has sharpened it, giving him a clarity that he now uses to undo you the same way you did him.

He’s completely wicked as he takes you apart with each calculated stroke of his tongue. It doesn’t take long before you’re reduced to a fragile moaning mess. He still follows your lead but it’s with the languidness of a well-fed predator. So it’s no surprise that you come with his tongue deep inside you, making sure not to leave one bit of you untouched by him. After all, he’s a good boy and good boys always make sure their plate is clean.

It takes a while for you to come down, legs trembling from where they continue to rest on his broad shoulders. Your stomach clenches as you realize that his hands are still dutifully folded behind his back, despite adjusting his position slightly so he can rest his head on your stomach. He’s waiting for you to release him. You release your grip on his hair, fingers aching from the tight hold you had on him. You gently cup his cheek in one hand. He nuzzles into you instantly. It breaks your heart how desperate he is for affection. He looks up at you shyly.

“Did you miss me too?” He asks quietly. You expected him to be cheeky with you, the way he normally is after making you come that hard. This vulnerability isn’t new exactly, but hardly expected. So you smile and gently caress his cheekbone with your thumb.

“More than anything.” You respond, gently tugging him till his head rests on your chest and you’re wrapped tightly in his arms. You’re both sticky. The room smells like blood and sex. Yet neither of you have the energy to break the comfortable silence.

You hope he never leaves again, but you’ll always be here to greet him when he returns.

#homelander #x reader #homelander x reader #furthering the Sublander agenda

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sketchy--akechi · 1 year

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(apologies for going on rants about it but i have so many thoughts lmao) been looking at the asks and stuff for the palace au and i am. so ill over it already. joker palace aus grab my brain and shake it around so much bc of how it can be played out with how yeah joker's the leader, but with a group where he helped shoulder all their problems and doubts on top of having to destroy a reality where all his friends could have everything and the true reality where he couldn't save a genuine life, it's so???? you think about how they're all teenagers and how much that is so have on one person's shoulders who probably built up a complex of being unable to truly confide in anyone

and giving a deadline is so unique bc i don't think ive seen a palace au with a full deadline. plus there's smthn so like,,, horrifying about being given a deadline for this case?? because it's not just like a deadline until something very bad happens like being arrested or expelled. it's literally a deadline counting down days until someone dies. it's a deadline ticking down until you're too late to save someone from themself and the personification of doubt, grief, anger, blame, and probably hate wearing their face. having to fight so much harder because you missed fighting at the start and the longer it's left to fester the stronger you'll have to be to even have a hope to make up the time difference.

anyway love the au and i am patiently (excitedly) waiting

YEAH IKR!!! honestly ive seen many fics with the concept already but it's still sooo interesting to think about and has so much potential so i wanted to give it a try too and now it's living in my head rent free i LOVE the headcanon that akira feels like he has to shoulder everyone's burdens while not being a burden to his friends himself - he has to be the strong leader, he's the one supposed to help them, and that's why in the fic the phantom thieves can't access his palace, except for akechi - the one person akira wasn't able to help. there's so many negative emotions bottled up inside akira and his shadow truly is the worst version of himself - and he's able to manipulate akira into thinking staying in the palace forever (aka: letting himself get killed by his shadow) is the best solution; even when akechi finally finds him, akira refuses to believe he's real and isn't willing to leave the palace. in most fics i've read akechi was the unhinged one and akira helped him getting better, so i really wanted to reverse the roles here: akechi has more or less moved on from everything that happened and got his shit together, while akira is literally going insane. akira can be a little messed up, as a treat!!!

#asks #txt #joker palace au

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themuse-if · 3 months

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Hello!! I wanted to ask the group "The Rebel Rejects" a question. I wanted to know how they would react to Mc, who has been surprisingly frustrated and stressed about various things at university, and when they go to check on him/her/them, Mc gets teary-eyed and hugs them without saying anything.

{Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, English is not my native language😅😅}

Hey! Great scenario! I'll set the scene starting from the hug in MC's dorm room.

Roxanne/Robbie: *squeezes MC a little tighter* Hey you. And here I was thinking I'd have to earn crying fans the old fashioned way. *chuckles with MC* Ok, ok now that I've made you laugh, can you tell me what's wrong? *pulls back and wipes away MC's tears, listens to MC intently until they finish* Have you been holding all of this in? When was the last time you took a break? *places hand on MC's shoulders, and looks them in the eye* Ok put on your favorite playlist and turn it up! We're gonna dance until our feet hurt and then you'll be thinking about that instead. And if that doesn't work I'll ask De to make you some food, De's cooking solves all my problems. *shrugs, with a slight smirk*

Joleen/Johnny: *strokes MC's hair* It's ok. It's gonna be all right, you can talk to me. What's wrong? Alright slow down. *grabs MC's hand and pulls them so sit on the floor, starts to massage MC's hand that they were holding* Ok go on, and remember just take some deep breaths. *listens to MC, nods and mhm's when needed* So it sounds like you're overwhelmed. Like everything is weighing you down. I've been there, and I know its hard. When I felt like thing were so bad, felt like I couldn't even breathe, I would hold things inside and let it fester. Not the best way to cope, I know. And holding in all of that negativity really did a number on me, it made me mean and angry. When I finally opened up and spoke to someone else, my mom, I felt so much lighter. If you ever feel like life is just getting to be to much, just remember to talk to someone you trust. Me, Ro, De, or Max all of us are here for you. *gives MC's hand have a final squeeze*

Delphine/Desmond: *rubs MC's back, before grabbing their chin and looking into their eyes* Do you want to talk about it? Ok give me one second. *starts to leave* I'll be right back I just need to grab something. *leaves, comes back with a steaming cup of hot chocolate* Here drink this and talk, take your time. *climbs up to sit on your bed* Come on we might as well get cozy. *listens to MC vent* Ok I hear you. How about this, you aren't going to keep thing bottled up anymore. You're going to talk to me or someone else and let those who care about you alleviate your stress. It doesn't make you weak to rely on others it make you smart...and more emotionally stable. *chuckles* Honestly you've been wandering around like some sort of zombie, and I'd like to have the real you back. *wraps you in another hug*

Rebel Rejects Trio: Some combination of all three. Talking, music, dancing, food, and it all ends with a cozy cuddle puddle with you in the middle. 😘

#interactive fiction #interactive if #twine if #twine interactive fiction #themuse if #if: themuse #extras

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yeastinfectionvale · 6 days

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You wrote Vale so tenderly in the cursed Muccio fic... like his inner voice seems so warm.

And I was suprised when he told the Academy boys all that, I thought He was going to keep a secret to himself

Aww thank you anon 🫶.

I believe that everyone, no matter how cocky they show themselves are soft inside. Their inner voice the only softness they allow themselves on the regular.

Vale could have kept it all to himself, lie to the academy and let whatever negative emotions fester inside him. But that was something Uccio would do and he couldn't bring himself to trust anything related to his old friend.

The academy wasn't just a collection of riders, they were his prodigies, his brood, his children, they were him (a piece of his soul in each and every one of them). If he hid away from them, then who in the world would he be able to trust?

#asks??? in this economy???#Anon!!!#penance for old sins

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sublunaryorchid · 9 months

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How do you handle jealousy etc with your Daddy/sisters etc im STRUGGLING where i never have b4 w/ polyamory dating gods is strange new territory

this is very topical rn lmao uh 👁️

I’ve had my moments, for sure. It’s not uncommon, it’s not bad, and it’s not wrong to feel jealous. It’s very human. It’s not inherently bad - but how you deal with it is what matters.

I wanna say around autumn of last year was the worst I’d experienced it. Managing it/overcoming it ultimately boiled down to a few things.

Disclaimer: this is what *i* did, and what worked. It’s gonna be different for everyone.

1. Ditch your pride. It’s hard, yeah, but just do it.

2. I would catch a jealous thought and look at it. Being curious is more productive than being combative, so I’d ask it where it came from and what it needs.

3. There’s a whole host of reasons that would come up, but all of them more or less tied back to my own insecurity. So that was a starting point for me.

*If you’re able to ask for some reassurance, do that, but don’t expect your partner to solve your issues. They can only reassure you so much. The real change will come from buckling down, finding the root causes within yourself and working on them. Have grace with yourself, remember you’re not bad or wrong for feeling it, but don’t indulge it. It will fester, it will grow, and you will feel worse - where you absolutely don’t have to.

4. What could I do to feel more secure? Put more effort into my relationship. I was insecure than I was insufficient, that I didn’t bring anything to the table, that it wouldn’t matter if I was around or not.

(For me, this meant going to therapy, a lot, like once a week for a solid five months, and working on becoming healthier in general to keep my brain in the best possible shape so it was strong and ready to help me at my lowest points. This entailed physically working out, exercising, self care days, always taking my meds, getting better sleep, and cutting out all negative influences.)

5. Put things back in perspective. Unless this is an unhealthy relationship, you wouldn’t be there if your partner didn’t want you there. You have value, you are wanted, you are welcome, you belong. Trust that, trust them, and trust yourself.

6. Work on it. Stopping jealousy in its tracks is hard, and it is work, and you’ve gotta try.

I was just saying this to a friend in a similar situation, and I’m gonna repeat it here: It’s like a muscle. The more you use it, the easier it gets. With time, it’ll be reflexive. I don’t have more than the odd split second of jealousy anymore, but that didn’t happen overnight. I went to therapy, I tossed my pride down the toilet and threw myself into doing the “why are you here and what can I do to help you” talking-to-my-jealousy exercise.

That’s a lot of words…

TLDR; A lot of it ties back to self worth, so that’s kinda the crux of it - you need to recognize and work on healing whatever is inside you that isn’t letting you be happy. If we’re talking about a poly situation here, if you’re jealous of another party involved, ask yourself honestly why someone else’s value and contribution to the relationship is threatening to you or makes you insecure.

On that note: my opinion that therapy helps in every aspect of your life, and can be transformative when utilized correctly, but particularly when it comes to bolstering your confidence and self worth. When you become happier with yourself as a person in general, you will find it’s significantly harder to be mean to yourself… because that’s where jealousy takes hold. It latches onto existing insecurities and amplifies them.

It’s a conscious effort that needs to be made. Nobody will fix it for you. If the relationship is what you truly want, the effort and work and care you put into setting yourself up for success is endlessly worth it.

#ask #anon #if you wanna send an ask off anon to talk more I’ll message you if you like #bc my DM’s are closed but . I am very passionate abt this and if I can help I would like to

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brightgnosis · 10 months

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I know I complain on here a lot. Mostly it's because this is really my only outlet for the shitty circumstances in my life right now. Despite the complaining, however, I'm not an angry person. Really, I'm happy about 99% of the time; I love looking at the world and seeing the beauty in the joy. I'd probably be dead already by now if I didn't, frankly, because the world and the people in it can be really shitty a lot of the time for various reasons.

I just need to get the bursts of anger and upset out when they occur. Mostly because I know, after 33 years of therapy and dealing with myself, that if I don't, then it festers and becomes a larger problem. And I don't like who I am when I let it fester like that. I don't like what it does to me. So I'd much rather have a place to vent when needed, than keep it all compressed inside. And that's what Tumblr is for, for me: It's my journal. Good and bad, it goes here- and yeah, sometimes it's going to be more bad than good. And you know what? That's honestly okay.

Something I've really begun to notice over the last few months, however, that's started to bother me a lot ... Is just how many people seem to always be angry about everything. Not just angry, though ... How many of them allow their anger to make them spiteful. Hateful. Petty little people. And how many refuse to sit with their anger when it happens, examine it, accept it for what it is, and then release it in a healthy way that helps them rather than continuing to damage the world around them for ultimately no reason.

I don't understand it. And the more I'm exposed to it the older I get, the less I understand it, even ... More, I get tired of it; it's exhausting not just to watch, but to be around; it drains every fiber of my being when the people I talk to are only negative about the things going on in their life; when they never find anything positive (which isn't to say people have to be "sunshine and rainbows" and that there isn't a time and a place to unload. But it is to say that if all you're ever doing is unloading, it's maybe time to reevaluate things); when they only feel the need to constantly fight with everyone around them, or to be petty about what is ultimately stupid and irrelevant shit that really doesn't even matter at the end of it all.

Why keep yourself in those situations? Why not walk away, or block them, and be done with it? Why keep hating? Why keep being cruel, or mean, or spiteful and petty? Why not find something better for yourself? Why?

I'm so tired of fighting with everyone, and everything being a series of unnecessary escalations and extremes all of the time. I'm tired of hate and anger being the only acceptable set of emotions to experience anymore- and of pain seeming to be the only acceptable recourse to those emotions in seemingly any situation; to inflict on others ... There's a much better way.

I really struggle as someone with Bipolar II and a history of abuse, who learned zero appropriate coping mechanisms for anger growing up. And I get the negative hyperfixation and spiraling that comes with ADHD and Autism as someone who's AuDHD too. But I still managed to find it finally, and I'll fight to stay there, tooth and nail ... I just wish others in the world would wake up and find it, too.

#Personal #2023 #Keepsakes #Communicating Beautifully #Being A Better Human Being #Oklahoma

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theascent · 10 months

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☼☾ ( gemma chan , 36 , she/her , cisgender female , wolfenbuttel 3) - have you seen ROSINA WOLFENBUTTEL? we’ve heard through the grapevine that they’re DIGNIFIED but also RESENTFUL. when you think of them , you think of SLENDER FINGERS POISED ABOVE IVORY PIANO KEYS, LETTING THE MUFFLED SOUNDS INFIDELITY LULL YOU TO SLEEP, AND ALLOWING HATRED TO FESTER IN THE WOUNDS HE CREATED.

if you prick us, do we not bleed?

name: rosina wolfenbuttel birth name: 姜小宛 ( jiang xiaowan ) title: duchess; betrothed to duke frederick age: 36 pronouns: she/her gender: cisgender female nation: brunswick nation of birth: china orientation: bisexual/biromantic

if you tickle us, do we not laugh?

hair: black height: 5 feet, 9 inches eye color: dark brown positive traits: compassionate, romantic, vivacious neutral traits: optimistic, ascetic, delicate negative traits: scornful, calculating, vindictive love language: physical touch, quality time vice(s): pride likes: playing her piano, writing home to her sister, managing the affairs of brunswick estate, walking through the gardens, getting fitted for gowns, gossiping, attending church services, sharing her culture, listening to orchestral music, frederick's frown. dislikes: anything capable of dirtying her dresses, being the last to be told information, the stench of tobacco, windy days, heights, silence, being wronged, frederick.

if you poison us, do we not die?

tw: infidelity and infertility

xiaowan was the eldest daughter born to the duke of the first rank, a title bestowed upon her father for his work in the imperial army. it was this connection that landed her a sponsorship to brunswick. having shown both an affinity and natural talent for the piano, she was taken under the wing of brunswick's most accomplished composers. it was during this time that she met him: frederick wolfenbuttel. this was her destiny. he was her future. suddenly it made sense; it wasn't a matter of fate, but faith. just as she had given herself to god, he had given her frederick. she adopted the name rosina after her favorite pianist, rosina cannabich, and bathed herself in frederick's adoration, allowing his love to soothe the beating heart she wore upon her sleeve. and she was loving, god was she loving. consistently doting on her husband and writing home to her sister just now lucky she was to have settled into such an ardent marriage - but even a woman of faith such as herself could not convince the omniscient entity up in heaven that she was deserving of a glorious life. after failing to convince for the entirety of her marriage, she still managed to reassure herself that one day the seed of an heir would plant itself insider her womb, and finally rosina and frederick's family would feel complete. but as the years passed the two only grew distant and frederick, unfaithful. still, rosina never strayed. never even looked the way of men who weren't the man she promised herself to. but that was then. and france? oh, france was now. her vows no longer belonged to fredrick, but to vengeance. retribution. rosina ensured the estate was cared for. rosina checked on the wellbeing of the servants. rosina corroborated every story, every lie frederick uttered. and so, it's only natural that it be rosina to take brunswick. to end frederick wolfenbuttel. to watch him suffer just as he did her.

and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

tw: loss of faith

☼ rosina wants revenge. against frederick. against bernadette. against brunswick. hell, against the entirety of the human race. this is her purpose in france. ☼ she has grown further from religion. why would her god allow such a heinous act to take place under her roof. didn't she pray enough? wasn't she faithful enough? so then why wasn't she enough? ☼ "poor rosina. how could the duke do this to such a lovely woman? dignified. classy. noble." this may have been true, once upon a time. back when her husband occupied the space next to her. when their hands held on to one another. now? it's a farce. the more people she can turn against that bastard, the better. allies will legitimize her rule. when she rules. because she will. she'll make sure of it. ☼ she does not want frederick dead. no. that's too easy. egocentric playboys deserve to watch their life turn to dust. to shambles. unable to do a thing but sit and watch as the relationships forged between fathers and grandfathers crumble under the weight of your actions. the knowledge that you are responsible.

"heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

paramour: if frederick can have one, why can't she? sick of remaining faithful to a man with no intention of doing the same, she finds comfort in your embrace. whether or not love will bloom can be discussed! note: this is a new lover, one she meets in france as she has only recently allowed herself to push her husband to the back of her mind. accomplice: for whatever reason, you offer to help rosina enact her revenge. she doesn't want your aid, nor does she think she needs it. and yet, your company is strangely encouraging. bonus for this doubling as an enemies to lovers. and as always, bring on the friends.

#francehq.intro #rosina ⊱⋅•⋅ intro #god i love her so much

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fuck-shit-up-spiritually · 2 years

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🍋 LEMON HEX 🍋

starting the blog off strong, this is a painfully potent spin on a classic hex. if you want to cause some fucking chaos and real damage, this is exactly the spell you want to use.

RECOMMENDED TARGETS

anyone who has caused you deep pain or trauma in the past/currently. THIS IS NOT A PETTY REVENGE HEX. i have had some really insane things happen with this bad boy.

INGREDIENTS

a black candle (or basically anything that drips wax tbh)

a photo of your target

a permanent marker/pen

clove or patchouli oil

black salt (here’s the recipe)

a shit ton of nails (or screws, just sharp stabby objects like that)

some kind of blade

red pepper flakes

red thread

sewing needle

- OPTIONAL -

toxic herbs/plants (if you want to cause some sick shit)

hot sauce (if you wanna make it burn)

vinegar (if you want to sour shit up)

a dead bee or wasp (if you want to really make it sting)

broken glass (USE GLOVES; use if you really wanna cut a bitch)

STEPS

first off, set the mood! dark/red lighting, angry music, lots of incense and sage smoke, whatever you need.

write your specific intentions on the photo

cut the lemon the long way, from one end to the other

fold the photo (with the bee or wasp *if using one* folded in) and stuff it into the slit in the lemon

sprinkle the herbs, salt, oils, and other ingredients over the cut and photo. make sure as much of the shit goes in the opening as possible. as you perform this step, let that anger and resentment really build

use the needle and thread to stitch up the slit in the lemon. keep steady here; if you’re rash and aggressive you may tear the skin of the lemon

now we have the really fun part!!!!! STAB THE LEMON OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITH THE NAILS/SCREWS, let the built up emotions explode and release with each nail. take it all out on the lemon. if you’d like, it doesn’t hurt to yell at, insult, and shit talk the lemon as if it’s your target. sounds ridiculous but it can really add a lot

light the candle/melt the wax and let it drip over the stitched up cut, sealing the bad shit inside the lemon so it can sit and fester

close the spell and deep-cleanse your workspace. you want to eliminate as much of the negative energy as possible afterwards

put the lemon somewhere outside where it can go undisturbed for a while

once the lemon is gross and brown and rotten, bury it as far from your home as possible. if you can get it somewhere near your target, that’s a plus.

#witchblr #witchcraft #hexes #practise safe hex #witchy shit #witch #witchlife #witchyvibes

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theeinlandempress · 2 years

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How to Handle Scandals for the Earth Signs

Taurus Leo Capricorn

Release those that have hurt you until their words mean absolutely nothing. Trust that the feelings from heartbreak and negativity will pass soon enough. Work on mending the pain and moving on from this however that may be for you.

Disclaimer: the cards say to forgive but I’m a firm believer in not everything being forgivable and that it’s possible to move on without “forgiving” someone. To me it’s kinda like it if forgiveness was really for you and not the other person like people say, then people wouldn’t hold forgiveness over your head. But that’s just me. So if you wanna forgive, forgive but that’s your decision.

Taurus: I’m seeing that you let these things affect you internally where you might let them fester because you aren’t sure what you should do or say. And because you may tell yourself so many things at once you really let it get to you. Get your head and heart in alignment before making any rash decisions. They need to have a common ground together before you decide on what you want to do.

Virgo: Spirit says that in the midst of a scandal you’re supposed to be shouting your view points from the rooftops. That you may prefer to do so anonymously. Maybe you’re normally the shy type. But don’t let people walk all over you.

How funny considering JLo just fired all those Virgo dancers and one of them was like omg can you believe this. Be like her. Don’t let anybody disrespect you. I don’t give a shit who it may be.

Capricorn: When things are tearing you up inside, it’s okay to feel your feelings. Just know that when things happen, it’s not the end for you. Ya know when one door closes another one opens and all that jazz, but always believe that opportunity is waiting for you right around the corner.

#readings by the great alexandria 🔮#tarot cards #tarot reading #collective reading #take what resonates #leave what doesn’t #earth sign #Taurus #virgo #capricorn

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zerozeroren · 1 year

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OC Ask for Sophie Part 2 -

💐🙈🙉🙊🌱🌋😭💥🌌🪦

The last emoji, the tombstone, is one I made up because I didn't see it on the list, so I hope that's okay. Tombstone means "What is your oc's (Sophie's) relationship with death like? Are they apathetic/afraid of dying? Do they have a more positive outlook? Have they always felt this way? If not, what caused them to adopt this outlook? Have they experienced a growth in their view of death? (Being afraid to being accepting or at least not as worried about it) If so, what was the turning point of that?

I hope that's not too "morbid" or "depressing" of a question. I'm a big fan of Ask A Mortician and her Death Advocacy, and knowing what I do about Sophie's mother, I'm just curious if that and/or her father, or anything else affected her view on death, and if she did the equivalent of discovering an "Ask A Mortician" type in the Attitudes universe, and if that helped her on the road to seeking "The Good Death" or at least helping her not be afraid of death, if she ever was.

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

Ohh this takes me back to the Ballgown AU days 🥺

Bouvardia for enthusiasm, cactus for endurance, pink camellia for longing, yellow carnations for disappointment and rejection, celandine for future joy, Christmas rose for "relieve my anxiety", heliotrope for devotion, dog rose for pleasure and pain, red hyacinth for playfulness, mezereon for desire to please, orange mock for deceit, Spanish jasmine for sensuality.

Sophie's nog too big on flowers, but she has a soft spot for white roses (especially the ones that haven't fully bloomed yet).

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

The side that is scared of change. Sophie tries to maintain an image of someone who is adaptable and ready to take anything head on, but in truth it takes a lot of her mental strength to adapt to a new situation and to build a ground to stand on (that's why changing cities twice in two years really wrecked her).

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

Banality ensues: mistreatment of those who are weaker than her. She can swallow offence directed at her specifically, but if someone who can't stand up for themselves gets bullied, she sees red. It's her primary big sister instinct.

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

"I don't need you anymore" / "i have never loved you"

🌱 SEEDLING - what is their most vivid memory from childhood?

First time debut on stage as Annie (age 9). Sophie was scared to death at first, but then she heard the applause and felt like she's in her place for the first time in her life.

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

Sophie's big issue is burying her negative emotions deep inside, then let them fester and grow until they become so much that she breaks down. So it's a slow boil, but the inevitable explosion is deadly.

😭 CRYING - what makes them cry? do they cry easily?

Related to the previous question actually: Sophie does not cry easily, but when she does cry it's really intense. She has trouble stopping to cry on her own, even. (Sometimes she starts out crying, then looses control and it turns into a fit of maniacal laughter that completely robs her of her breath: that's when someone has to step in because at this point she's unable to stop).

Funnily enough, the easiest way to get her to break into tears is to be really soft and nice and kind to her when she's on edge. Kind treatment obliterates her.

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

Loneliness

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Oh god there's so much stuff that i have trouble cataloguing all the points of inspiration XD generally speaking, Sophie started out as an exploration of a rom-com trope of the best friend who makes their life mission to support the MC despite having twice as much problems to deal with.

More concrete inspirations include Bernadette Peters, Weird Al Yancovic, Anna Kendrick, Kristin Chenoweth and Sarah Bernhardt

🪦 TOMBSTONE - what's their relationship with death

I immediately need to digress and say that the fact that a gravestone emoji exists fills me with so many contradicting emotions XD

I'm not familiar with Ask a Mortician, unfortunately

Sophie's relationship with death is... well, she simply pretends death doesn't exist. She tunes it out of her life. Underlying cause of this outlook is that she is, in fact, afraid of dying. She has plans, aspirations, and she's a fighter, resilient and determined to see it through to her happily ever after even through hardships, so the thought of no longer existing is the one that unsettles her enough to actively avoid it.

#attitudes #sophie brannt #sophie #sorry this took so long #this ask was a hefty boi #a chonky one #oc lore

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clockwork-sparrow · 2 years

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On Oliver

CW: Suicidal tendencies

He suspected you were dead, but there was hope. Uncertainty fosters that sort of thing.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know for certain, but logically speaking, there was no way you could have survived that attack. You, Gloria, the others. Almost nobody did, so how could you? When Specula Imperatoris was stabbed in the back with cannonfire, you were probably on one of the top floors as it collapsed. Maybe you were sending off one last email to your supervisor? Maybe you were trying not to think about the Alliance and what could happen? Maybe you died while burning from fear and confusion and literal fire?

He doesn’t want to think about it. Your death. Hers. Others, too.

How often does he find himself in this position? Stuck suspecting something he doesn’t have the courage to face, wielding denial deliberately, shielding himself with willful ignorance. It’s a bandaid to a deeper problem but he’ll bleed if he rips it off, so he keeps it on despite knowing that the wound is festering beneath the surface.

Your death was inevitable anyway. You raised your voice and painted a target on your back because you, unlike him, were brave enough to speak out against the Empire. He told you that you were being foolhardy and thought yourself naively invincible, but that’s just what he said. You knew that he knew the unspoken truth. That you fully understood the risks. That he was too uncomfortable to acknowledge that.

That you wanted what he was too scared to want.

Yet he helped you (sometimes, maybe often) without admitting it. Insider knowledge from untraceable sources, unexplainable outages, coincidence and happenstance. He was never one for the spotlight and you didn’t want that for him either, but crippling isolation isn’t better. All these short-term fixes stretched long would kill him someday, and that’s part of why you fought.

He thought you were going to die from taking action eventually. You thought that he was going to die from doing nothing. In the end, you bet risk against attrition and lost. You’re gone and he’s left, dying in slow motion without you. He doesn’t want to think about any of this but in the end, despite his bitter nature and despite what he claims, you know he’s consumed by it.

It’s called living in denial because it lets you live.

So confirming was a mistake. He can’t pretend that you’re out there against all odds and he sees you as a phantom sometimes, backpack slung over your shoulder and hat on despite being indoors. Your voice living in his head, drunken rants and heated smacktalk, foul-mouthed and annoying and alive. Denial bandaids him together but circumstance keeps peeling them back one by one.

Is it flattering to know that your death helped shake him into action? That the action he took was to step into the sunlight and wish for it to burn him for his sins? But over and over, others die and he lives. He has to live with that but he can’t. Still, he lives.

At this point it’s more accurate to call it existing. He doesn’t know if he’s awake when your ghost speaks with him, but he talks back anyway. He doesn’t remember tying this noose around his neck, but there’s no one else who could’ve done it but him. He is mad and going mad, but maybe that’s a good thing? Because your end was prophesied by him and his end was prophesied by you. Suffocating beneath the weight of everything that’s happened, he is pushed far beyond his limit. Negative becomes positive and flight becomes fight.

Blinded by rage and insanity, he is fully realized, and he will fight against this fate. For you and for everyone else, he will fly into the sun to endure a baptism by fire and emerge as a god...Garlemald has none, after all.

#ff14 rp #Oliver Jen Luti #Florus Jen Celsus #dubious timing of this #Oliver died waaay back and Florus learned during the distortion arc #so theorize away on where this falls XD

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