#my mom just came over to tell me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pears-trinkets · 1 month

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#my mom just came over to tell me #YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?? your problem isnt autism your problem is that you cant adjust to everyday life and you're just too emotional #you just cant adjust and then you make it hard for yourself on purpose because you cant just get over it and forget it #you just let negativity fester inside of you #all because i told her that i wasnt chosen for an autism diagnosis via email lottery and she immediately answered with #STOP BEING SAD DONT CRY YOU JUST HAVE TO DO X Y AND Z and i explained to her for the 1000th time that she has to word it differnetly #because i didnt even tell her how i feel and she just assumed my emotions and then told me to STOP HAVING THEM #and i try to gently explain to her how she has to ask first and not assume because she makes me feel worse than i actually felt #and shes liks YEAH BUT I CANT CONTROLL MY EMOTIONS IM JUST A PASSIONATE MOTHER TRYING TO HELP HER KID #completely making it about her again and making me comfort her and her emotions and i told her that and she said #well then why dont you tell me to stop? you have to make me aware of it how else am i supposed to know #after several years of me telling her this and how she needs to think before she speaks #and after all this she came over to tell me ANYWAY YOUR PROBLEM ISNT AUTISM ANYWAY ITS JUST (DESCRIPTION OF AUTISM)#like???????? are you trying to win the other argument by telling me i didnt need the diagnosis anyway #anyway i said GOODBYE and shoved her out the door and locked it #im 30 and i still have to fight with her like im 13 and having to end arguments or physical abuse by shoving her out of my room #and pulling a bookshelf infront of the door and hiding in a corner where she cant see me through the window in the door

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mihai-florescu · 2 years

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What the actual fuck is going on in the northern european countries and not feeding guests. Do not equate us south/eastern europeans with those barbarians please🙏

#to be fair. i dont go to peoples houses often here #but back in romania i remember my friend's dad cooked a 2 course fancy meal just cuz i was staying over #i had my first quail eggs and carbonara there #i think they had some ikea cake too in the fridge #and one time a friend came over and wasnt hungry and my mom yelled at me for not giving her food after she left #wait pls tell me yall have seen the tweets im talking about

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makkie-is-screaming · 3 months

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I should fucking kill myself

#I have this anger and dislike towards my little brother that’s totally unwarranted like he’s 10 it’s just my issues #n whenever I feel his hatred towards him I want to gut myself like #it’s not his fault that my moms a better mom for him n that he’s not scared of her #It’s not his fault that my dads sober and present for him #it’s not his fault that my older brother is a good brother to him n has never hurt him #it’s not his fault he’s not scared of telling someone he’s hurt or of getting food #it’s not his fault he parrots all of my parents insane conservative views #but I still hold so much anger and resentment #When I look at him I see him getting all the things I never got and being free of the traumas I went through #and I know it’s good and I’m happy he’s grown up in a safer environment but I’m so angry that I didn’t have those parents #and I know he’s also missing so many things I got #But it fucking hurts seeing how loved and safe he is and wishing I had been that innocent at that age #like when he’s fighting with my mom it’s over school work n video games n then he thinks he can talk shit ???#when I was fighting with my mom it was bc she came home from work in a rage #when I was mad at my dad it was because he got drunk n came home n yelled at my mom until she was crying in a corner then left #When I was screaming at my older brother it’s because I was tired of him hurting me not because he called me a name #I’m a horrible sister to him and I hate it because when he was a baby I was so fiercely protective of him and so happy to be his sister #I watched his shows with him and kept him entertained when my parents got bad n I promised myself I’d take care of him the way I never was #but I failed n now I can barely stand being around him #like I’m such a good sister to my sister but that’s it #n it makes me feel worse about my relationship w my brother bc I know I can be better but I’m just a horrible jealous bitch who should die #screaming

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dorkicon · 9 months

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bitching abt my job again

tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia

#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind #for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at #and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years #only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down #despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down #so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen #and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it #and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first #--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane.#and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl #bc of course they dont give a shit about the library #they just care about how scary the queers are #and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town #and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time #(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the #--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right)#when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting #the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display #its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages #talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w #--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens #sourse: i was one of tgose #and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk #and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look #--elsewhere #bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater #--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education #i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too #but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in #--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 9 days

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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.

#blue chatter #am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing #but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture #which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people #autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people #depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay #but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL #and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them #I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house #their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting #I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation #they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo #which is rly neat #it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e #it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid #and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun #I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^

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heavenlydreamangelflyhigh · 1 year

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moms getting competitive w her eating disorder again

#she keeps mimicking how ive been living and now that ive been sliding back and restricting again due to stress #she's been body checking around me more talking about how much she works out how 'toned' she looks #and dishing up smaller portions than me only eating half and then saying 'oh i'm so full...marie #if you can't finish yours just throw the rest out...'#she had her friend over yesterday and the poor woman made the mistake of confiding in my mother and i about her ed #and i gave her some advice for recovery & let her know that anorexia is hard to tackle esp when you're taking care of someone else at the #same time but its doable..and she was asking about what i do when i relapse #and obv i didnt go into detail so as not to like. give any ideas. but it was nice to have someone Nice to relate to on that front #immediately my mom jumps in with 'oh i restrict too! thats what i do! i go days without eating and count my calories.#marie doesnt work out like i do because their therapist said not to..but i work out so i can stay toned and confident.' like no you dont #it hurts me that shes doing this shit to herself but i know shes doing it in front of me to feel superior because she Always Has #its CYCLICAL with her. as soon as my gf left the mask came back off and she was right back to the mama i know #using MY CLOTHES to body check using MY MIRROR infront of me i feel insane.#like i told her i feel disgusting because i gained two pounds and im at 114 now and she immediately started talking about her weight and #that we need to stop buying 'junk food'#MOMM....OH MY GOOOD...#whatever whatever . i'll get over it in a few mins im just pissy in general and i feel like i live with a 15 yr old sometimes.#ed ment #i will say it uswd to be worse when she wasnt in therapy n shit but hhghhthtnf even my dad who is Never Home has picked up pn it and has #started checking her and telling her to keep it between yhem bc i dont. i canr handle that rn dude

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sevicia · 6 months

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I would say good morning but if it were a good morning I'd be with my imaginary boyfriend who thinks I'm sooo cute and kisses me soooo sweetly and I'd be across the globe as far away from my house as possible. Also it's 12.12 so it's not morning anymore. Nothing to smile about in my life.

#waking up & staring at the ceiling making up stuff for 2 hours.#and then having to get up cause my grandma came over to ''check on me'' but really just tells me to have breakfast #and then sending my mom an ''im awake'' text. cause she gets mad when I don't.#realizing I am never getting out of here. tearing up a bit. realizing I'm the stupidest guy alive.#suddenly have the need to hit myself in the head with a shovel #yknow how it is #diary

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herd-reject-arts · 1 year

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Here I go to spend several days by myself in the North Carolina wilderness. Wish me luck. Never gone camping alone (but I have my dogs, and I trust them more than any people I know), so that's intimidating. Hopefully I don't have to fistfight a bear over whatever I'm cooking that night. Not looking forward to no toilet or shower until Monday, but it is what it is. I absolutely have to do this, for my mental health. I'm losing so much money taking the time off work to just have mountain time to myself. But I gotta. My life has been such a chaotic mess for over half a year now - everything that could go wrong, has - and I've never felt so close to just letting myself snap. I can feel it boiling right under the surface at any given time.

But yeah. Should be a time. Might post pictures upon my return (provided a bear doesn't decide I'm on the menu). Wish me luck!