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#you are fully allowed to disagree with this
maygrcnt · 3 days
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finding someone’s delivery of a dialogue annoying is all good. that’s not the issue. the issue is people taking their dislike of a scene, couple, character, actor, performance and using that to be homophobic. the discourse around that scene isn’t just people saying oh Ii don’t vibe with it or I found it cringe. It’s literally people saying they wish violence upon the gay guy because he made kink joke when his bf was being vulnerable completely ignoring the fact that they were both vulnerable and buck is the one who sparked the kink joke and tommy followed lead. regardless of whether it translated or not, doesn’t warrant the violent reactions it’s been getting.
i promise you, and im not going to be nice or soft about this like i usually am because i dont have time, nobody and i mean NOBODY who says they dont like that scene because it made them cringe, because they thought the tone was off, or they thought it was weird, is being homophobic. maybe theres someone out there being homophobic about it but the venn diagram of queer people on tumblr/twitter who dont like this scene and people who are being homophobic because they dont like the bi buck storyline is two completely separate circles. the catastrophization of turning peoples reactions into problematic moral issues by 911 fans against people who disagree with them is honestly going to make me rip my hair out at this point. theres point blank nothing wrong with having no justification other than just "i hated that scene and the joke was bad" if someone feels that way theyre fully allowed to and it is not a moral failure on the part of people who dislike tommy. to make it into such is an immature way to try and put yourself above people solely because they hold a difference of opinion.
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vaporvipermedia · 8 months
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[My Opinion on Yandere Tropes]
I’m putting up a disclaimer so no one can misunderstand my words. I am not dissing anyone who writes Yandere tropes like how I present nor do I think of them any less when portraying canon characters this way. If anything, I find this concept interesting and believe some improvements can make said stories fascinating and less predictable with the trope used. ALSO! Just because I read some Yandere fics, does not mean that I agree or condone any of the actions written in these narratives. Thank you for understanding.
Now for opinion time!
  After reading my fair share of Yandere fanfiction, I’ve always found most actions done by the characters inside of these stories becoming either extremely predictable or doing something out of left field to the point where they act like a different character entirely.
  Yes, some may contest that this archetype can change how a character acts. Sure, that is the case but that doesn’t mean that their personality and characteristics should be put on hold. They’re still human no matter if they’re sickly in love or not.
  Some writings don’t have any nuance with the Yandere trope and just go the simple route with it. Adding depth and context to Yandere’s mindset can bring out your work for the better! Think about how the characters would act in a situation where they’re sickly in love with someone instead of using cliché lines and scenes.
  Make them have some self-doubt in their actions to add some interest to your writings. Make it believable and thought-provoking when talking about the psyche of the “Yandere” in question.
And one character I’ve seen done a little bit dirty is a certain hunter with the Nicki Minaj Bob.
YES, I DID SEGWAY THIS SO I CAN TALK ABOUT MY VIEWS ON YANDERE! ROOK WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO!? NOTHING EXACTLY! Anyways…
I’ve only seen a few Yandere Rook fics but the ones that I have viewed just left me kind of baffled. Most of them involve hurting the person he’s interested in or putting them in dangerous situations while also trying to make it suggestive. Again no dissing anyone who writes him like this! But I am going to take this time to write down my opinion on Yandere Rook while also keeping parts of his personality. Because Rook has such good potential for a great Yandere fic and it’s kind of sad to see writers miss such an opportunity with him.
My View of Yandere Rook
If Rook was a Yandere, he definitely wouldn’t hurt the person he’s after. He sees the person as a beauty worth persevering only for his sight and benefit. Hurting his love would be like destroying the one thing he’s been desperate to seek his whole life. 
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think Rook would go after people who simply talk to his partner. Sure he’ll be a little antsy at times when people get too friendly with the partner in question. But, all he would do is just stare them down after they leave. And to combat this he’d take his partner to places around the college. Rambling about his love for them, serenading them or just giving them affection. He does anything he can to make sure that the person he’s in love with only focuses on him and the scenery around them.
But if someone DOES try to pursue his lover. Then he’s going to have a problem. He’ll go up to them as casually as possible trying to strike up a “nice” conversation. 
Potential Dialogue and Use of Tactics Rook uses 
“Say I’ve been hearing from the grapevine that you’re in pursuit of the lovely trickster. Is that so?” He says this knowing the answer already.
Becoming even more dramatic saying:
“I’m so sorry to tell you this, but they’re currently in a relationship. It would be a pity if their partner were to hear about this…they aren’t very forgiving when it comes to their love.”
He does it to scare them at first. But if they aren’t persuaded he drops the act entirely. “I tried to warn you. Tête de noeud…you just wouldn’t listen would you? Still trying to go after my love even after knowing they were together with me. Do you seriously think they would be with you?  What a horrible joke…they would never fall for a fool like you. If you value your life please do the smart option and leave them out of that small dense brain do yours.”
“Oh my! My temper was far too wild! Please accept my humble apology. I’m sure you won’t make the same mistake twice…right?” And then leave them to their devices.
In simple words instead of killing off or injuring people, Rook strikes fear into their hearts to ensure they don’t come near his lover. He isn’t an outright killer but he’s great at making people think that he might kill them. Only using empty threats to get the job done. Keeping them on their feet and letting them overthink whatever might happen to them. Making them crumble under their fear.
Conclusion
The moral of this long opinion piece is that Yandere tropes can be used to make eye-opening fan works. Doesn’t matter which fandom you’re in, TWST or not!
It’s up to you whether or not you decide to add nuance to said fanfiction. That’s all I wanted to say! Thank you for reading all the way through. I hope my points were understandable.
ANOTHER THING! I’m not saying that I’m a better writer! Trust me I have a long way to go. I just wanted to talk about what I’ve been noticing lately in this genre and give people ideas for their possible fics. That’s it. Now I’m done.🫶
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breadandblankets · 1 month
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I took asl classes at community college and my instructor was, himself, Deaf. one of the best parts of the class was my professor had such good body language that I was able to understand him with limited English and ASL input
anyway Cass making Deaf friends or going to Deaf community events not cause she understands the language but because people are exaggerating the they move in such a deliberate way it feels like they're speaking to her, idk I think Cass would like Deaf culture
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gxlden-angels · 3 months
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RUBY FRANKE AND JODI HILDEBRANDT SENTENCED TO 4 TO 60 YEARS IN PRISON LETS GOOOOO
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pepprs · 1 year
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hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.
#purrs#the premises of counseling / therapy are that you need to have boundaries and be self sufficient and fully healed. FUCK THAT! relationships#are not transactions. we are allowed to need each other. we are allowed to blur lines. we are human and messy. our thoughts and feelings are#PRECIOUS. im not letting go of my thoughts they mean EVERYTHING to me they are the key to the WORLD. im not letting go of redacted why on#EARTH would i stop redacteding to redacted that is HELPFUL for me. i don’t CARE about the roots. who the fuck is it hurting????? NO ONE!!!!!#the way he flat out told me he agrees with my mom. bitch im done forever. im done literaly forever. i don’t know how to tell him but im done#forever. maybe it’s just my id which is what he said to me LMFAO and like maybe i just don’t like being uncomfortable or facing hard truths.#but i don’t fucking think it’s TRUE!!!!!!!!!! yeah i need to grow yeah i have unhealthy behaviors. but i don’t need to let go of the whole#THING bc of some arbitrary transactional concept of what relationships are supposed to be / mean. ive NEVER had a counselor try to uproot th#the whole damn thing like omg what is WRONG with you. i#im paying this man $25 a week to UNDERSTAND me and not ONCE have i felt understood by him. counselors can disagree with me but i literally#never feel like he is on my side. he’s adhering to conventional ideas about what parents are supposed to be and friends are supposed to be a#and work is supposed to be etc etc. and so patronizingly said just enjoy being 23 you don’t wanna waste your 20s! FUCK YOU. i will not#regret anything even if it’s unusual. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!#and also i know he probably watches back thru the recordings and has like his supervisor and professors watch them too which means that#there is a whole team of scientists + my family studying me in a lab and thinking im insane and finding ways to tell me. but fucking bold of#him to assume he can give me any meaningful valuable insight when he is actively checking his laptop / phone during our sessions and rarely#if eve gives me a chance to drive MY OWN CONVERSATION THAT IM PAYING FOR and is so phony abt being on the recording. like Omg. maybe im just#grown out of it. it fucking SUCKS bc i actually have things i am not normal about and really need help with and i can’t actually get help fr#from ppl whose job it is to fucking help me bc they think im not normal about things i PROMISEEEE i am normal about. and the way i effective#effectively told him that and he responded that he can’t take that credibly bc there’s no action behind it BY WHICH HE MEANS I HAVENT#STOPPED REDACTEDING TO ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REDACTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE? THAT I HAVENT DECIDED IM DONE LEARNING SND GROWING AND CUT IT#OFF?????? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF. INSANE. the ANTITHESIS of human. we are MEANT TO BE CONNECTED. FUCK!!!!!!!!!#delete later#my old counselors challenged me and disagreed with me b it i never felt like they flat out were unwilling to meet me where i am and#compromise with me. is that not what counselors are supposed to do???? or have i just had bad counselors until now??? because im NORMAL. i#swear to fucking god. im normal. im literally normal and it is not doing ANYONE harm. what is wrong with you. GOD
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anti-transphobia · 11 months
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Forever annoyed that "don't speak over marginalized people", the notion that marginalized people are already spoken over, and their oppressors need to actually listen and learn before speaking about complicated topics and need to do so in support of not OVER them, so quickly turned into "I'm not x so I can't speak on x issues". Like the "don't speak on this if you're not this" started out so well meaning because it was about people needing to actually take the time to learn before talking about issues they didn't previously understand! Now it's just an excuse for people to never learn about the issues minorities face or to actually stand up for them in any meaningful way
#forming an opinion is so natural and also important. you can't just stay 'neutral' on everything just because marginalized groups arent#a collective that either fully agrees or fully disagrees with something#you will always have 'lol im x and i dont care about bigotry' folks. always. always always always#you've gotta use your god damned brain and do what's right instead of going 'im not allowed to have an opinion on this'#it's literally just looped around to ignoring issues again. like saying 'racism is bad' isnt good enough when you stay quiet#when your friend is being racist because they're a poc being racist to another poc#and that situation is too 'unclear' for you#ive seen that happen a ton. fucking get over it. yes they're going to respond negatively to being called racist literally everyone does#get over that fear of backlash and stick up for people!!!#this is why radqueers are a plague. their entire stance is 'we dont care enough to think so everything is good and okay'#and has done horrible shit like spread RAMPANT misinformation about mental disorders such as DID#which makes life so much harder for people with DID. and all disorders as they get romanticized instead of actually understood#so the people with the '''bad symptoms''' get shunned#the amount of times I've heard horror stories of actual systems getting abused and forced into all kinds of shit because of endos.......#anyway neutral stances are for things that don't really hurt people or dont matter or#for when youre in the position of actually learning and forming a position#which in that case its meant to be temporary. temporary!!!!!#radqueers dni
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“Intersex transfem” I bet you have fucking PCOS or some other practically female condition because you are obviously TME
i should not have to justify myself to u ppl but i digress
i was assigned male at birth, had IGM to look more typically male, and was raised as a perisex male until my 5-ARD diagnosis at 18. it took 3 different mental health professionals verifying that my schizophrenia was not the reason for my gender dysphoria to be allowed to start feminizing HRT at 14. i am as transfem as they come. just bcs i disagree w hating transmasculine ppl (and in ur case hating ctf intersex ppl?? lmao?? “practically female” no, intersex is intersex) does not mean i am not transfem. ppl can disagree w u w/o being transmasc so cope ig.
i think ppl w/pcos who identify partially or fully as transfem r super cool btw. intersex liberation forever i do not judge ppl’s relationship w transitioning to femininity based on how far i think their condition places them from biological femaleness. it’s none of my business and it’s none of urs.
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just4koo · 7 months
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Hii! How are you doing? Can you please write hurt to comfort with Jungkook, when he walks out to cool off after an argument and Y/n thinks he left her? :)
i'm doing well, i hope you are too! i kinda got carried away on this request and wrote a lott of angst haha... (it hurt my heart)
never go to sleep angry - jjk.
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summary: one of the most important rules of your relationship was to never go to sleep angry. when the rule was ignored, it led to an argument and a huge misunderstanding.
word count: 5.0k
genre/warnings: established relationship, a lot of angst, comfort, misinterpreting words, argument between them, y/n feels really shitty, mutual confusion, cute ending though
-- ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ --
There was one rule that you and Jungkook always had set up in your relationship. It was one of the reasons that you two were able to stay together for so long. How you had gotten through so many tough times, arguments, and disagreements. One thing that you two agreed on for the past 4 years you had been together.
Never go to sleep angry.
Even though it seems like something that may not matter too much, it had always worked for you two. Being in a relationship meant disagreeing on things. Relationships could be hard, but loving Jungkook was always easy. He made all of the hard times worth it. There weren't many things the two of you fully argued about because of this one rule. Communication was key in your relationship, and the two of you were always able to deescalate the situations so they wouldn't blow up.
It was the rule until now, it seemed.
If you had realized the way that you were making your boyfriend feel, it could've turned out so different. He hadn't spoke up about it because he knew how stressed you were. Later hours at a job meant that you didn't have time for the things you used to. After covid wiped through the world, your company had taken a huge hit. Budget cuts meant people being laid off of their jobs, and the ones that weren't fired got their work loads doubled, or even tripled.
Your job was a work at home -- returning late from work hadn't been the problem. Even if it was, Jungkook knew. He understood how consuming work could be, but he had been working crazy hours everyday since he was 13. He knew how his schedule worked and how to arrange things to make time between the two of you. This workload was new for you, and so he didn't get angry when you were stuck to your laptop for hours after your scheduled workday ended.
It was more of the way you dealt with the stress that got to him. Being stressed meant that you had been getting more irritable. If he tried talking to you when you were working, he was met with a dry "mhm" or a short look that told him you weren't interested. If he tried actually getting your attention, he would just receive snippy answers. He was trying to be understanding, but that also meant ignoring the most important rule of your relationship. Just like you tried to prevent, everything blew up.
"I've just been stressed out, Jungkook! I thought you said you understood!" You shouted at your boyfriend. What had turned into a simple conversation about him asking if you could spend your free day going on a date for the first time in a couple months had turned into this argument. You wanted to take the single free day off to rest your fingers from typing until your fingers locked up, he finally felt the festering irritation out, and it wasn't turning out pretty.
"I do understand, _____! If anyone does, it's me! You've been thinking about yourself this whole time! I try to be nice, I try to be understanding. You just shut me out! Just because you're stressed out or having a hard time doesn't mean you're allowed to treat me this shitty!" You were almost speechless as you listened to him vent to you about his feelings. You had been trying to justify yourself, but the longer this argument continued, the more you realized how you had been treating him.
"I tried so hard. You only try to push me away now. I've always had draining schedules, but I never took it out on you. I knew that this whole thing was new for you, I gave you time to adjust. But I just can't stand this anymore!" Jungkook groaned, putting his face in his hands. You had become ignorant about how your boyfriend felt, trying too hard to explain why you were treating him this way. He had enough of this. You were angry right now, and anger led to you being irrational.
He knew that he needed to get out of the house before the two of you said anything else you regretted. He didn't want the two of you to be blinded by anger and the best thing to do was to cool down. He tried to take in a deep breath as he turned around to walk towards the coat rack. You watched in disbelief as he started to put on his coat and lace up his shoes. Was he really walking out on the argument?
"Are you serious right now!? You started this argument, and now you're just trying to walk away from it?!" You accused him, crossing your arms over your chest. All Jungkook did was shake his head to himself. If you wanted to be petty, then it was only fair for him to do the same. He wasn't going to let himself be a personal punching bag anymore.
"You're right, I am walking away. I can't do this, ______. Get your shit together." You only scoffed at what he said, rolling your eyes in annoyance. Too consumed by your own pride, you didn't say anything as he left, didn't try to stop him. If he wanted to walk out, that was his problem. You felt like you had an excuse for the way you had been. You hadn't even realized how badly your treatment had gotten.
You spent most of the day grouchy now, too sidetracked to focus on your work. The argument happened pretty early in the afternoon, meaning you got most of the day to think about it. You knew he was going to come back before it was bedtime, or at least you thought you knew. Because it had been the most important rule, right? So you spent the whole day trying to formulate an argument to use against him.
The longer you thought about it though, the more uneasy you felt about the situation. It was growing later and later with every passing minute, and there was no sign of your boyfriend. No text or call, no jingling of his keys in the doorway, not even a text from his brother asking what had happened. Him and his brother were very close. He was usually the person Jungkook went to whenever you got into arguments, and his brother had even helped the two of you. He always texted when Jungkook showed up at his place, but there were no notifications.
You had already taken your nightly shower and was sitting on the bed in silence, huffing to yourself. He was being too petty, you thought. Why couldn't he just understand that you were busy? He was one of the busiest people in the world after all, he should be understanding that you didn't have hours of the day to dedicate to your relationship anymore like you used to be able to do.
While stuck in your thoughts, you sort of froze. He was one of the busiest people in the world. He had countless shoots for music videos, songs, magazines, variety shows. Your boyfriend was a member of one of the most renowned music bands. He spent almost everyday practicing and even spent nights in the studio trying to perfect things. If anyone knew what it was like to live a busy life, it would be him. You'd seen how busy his schedules, how full they were. He had something almost everyday. 
Yet he still made time for you.
You recounted all the times he had come home tired from work or exhausted from a performance. The days he returned with a frustrated or irritated expression from something that happened at work. Not one of those times did he ever take it out on you. He never let things that happened outside your relationship affect how he treated you. Before covid happened, he would be gone even more. Even though he had more time after the pandemic, things were getting back into motion.
He shared how overwhelmed he had been with everything. 2020 had been a break that he didn't even know he needed. He loved his fans, loved his band. But even then, he was still human. Not a machine that could work and be pushed through his schedules. When everything shut down, it meant him also being locked in his house and quarantined from everything. Now that there had been vaccinations and the urgency of the virus had died down, he was thrown right back into everything he had gotten used to being away from.
He had an album releasing soon, and it was taking a lot from him to get back into the flow of things. But he never blamed you for it. Before your job had you working crazy hours, he never got angry whenever you called him during his practices or came to surprise him at his workplace, taking away from his rehearsal time. Because it wasn't your fault for wanting to spend time with him or see him.
A pit was beginning to form in your stomach as you stared down at your lap. All of those times where you interrupted him from his work, you never realized how frustrating it could feel. Not until now when you were also working hard to produce quality work. You thought about all of the times he might've been irritated because he was trying to practice or so close to getting something right, and you came to stop him.
Yet every time he saw you, he was so excited and treated you with love. Even if you were distracting him from his job of performing in front of millions, even billions. Yet you had been doing the exact opposite. You were blaming him for wanting to spend time with you. Mad at him just because he wanted some time with his girlfriend. Fuck, you had been an idiot. Created an unnecessary argument just because you forgot to appreciate him.
You immediately reached for your phone, pressing the contact at the top of your favorites list. It was late now, almost 9pm, and you were worried. You wanted to at least see when he was coming home so you could be sure to stay up until then. You wanted to follow through with your number one rule and wait for him. You wanted to be waiting by the door when he came through to apologize to him.
Frowning when the call immediately went to voicemail, you were almost sent into a stupor. He always answered your calls, no matter what. It was strange for the phone go straight into voicemail, because in his car he always had a phone charger. One quick glance out of your window was the confirmation you needed, he did take his car. 
He had his charger with him. Did that mean he was ignoring your calls then? The phone didn't even ring before it went to voicemail, quicker than any person could decline a call. You weren't someone who worried too easily, but whenever something didn't feel right it made you extremely anxious. This was one of those moments right now. There was something off about the whole situation and you didn't know.
You tried his phone at least two more times, and the same thing happened. Not even a single ring. Every time you were met with the voicemail the two of you had recorded together a couple years ago, the giggling one you recorded with him saying that if he wasn't answering the call, he was probably too busy with his beautiful girlfriend. Your heart hurt when you heard that. How much things had changed scared you.
You went to text him, sending a few messages asking if he was okay. You stared down at the notice that the message had failed to send, the frown in your face getting even deeper. You went back into your contacts app, calling his brother instead. To your short relief, the phone was ringing. But after a few long rings, the phone also went to voicemail. You felt the urge to throw your phone at the wall but instead just cursed under your breath.
You weren't even sure how slow or fast the time was passing right now. All you could do was blankly stare down at your phone, hoping for a call. Had the argument been that bad? Was he really not going to come home after 4 years of sticking to that rule? The clock was nearing 12AM now and you were fidgeting nervously. Going over the argument over and over in your mind again. One particular line suddenly caught your attention.
"You're right, I am walking away. I can't do this, ______."
Your heart practically dropped as you remembered that. It was something you overlooked in the moment because you had been so angry with him, so consumed by your own pride. Those were words he never said to you. Sure, he had left the house a few times to cool down when arguments got too heated. But he would always leave with a reminder that he would be back before dark, that he was going to his brother's house.
Did you really ruin the relationship? All because you had been too focused on your work? You could feel your heart beginning to pound in your chest. He told you that he was walking away from you, that he wasn't going to do this anymore. This, as in the relationship? And you didn't do a thing to stop him when he left. You were so stupid.
Now all of the worst thoughts were going through your mind. Any rationality was leaving you. The calls weren't going through still. Had he blocked you? That was the only conclusion you were believing at the moment. You had been treating him like he was a nuisance for the past few months even though he had always been nothing but loving towards you no matter how crazy his schedule became.
You had been ignoring him whenever he wanted to do something with you or tell him something that had happened during his work. You had taken the small amount of free days you got and spent time relaxing and focusing on yourself rather than spending time with the person you loved more than anything, the person who loved you more than anything. You forgot that a relationship was about loving someone even through hard times.
Any hope you had for yourself was draining as you dug yourself into an even deeper hole. You were someone who worried a lot, but it was something that Jungkook had always helped you work out. Without him here, the problems were coming right back. Especially because this was about him. You had been an asshole of a girlfriend and he had enough. He left, walked out, and blocked you.
All of the years in your relationship felt like they were coming back at once. All of the years you spent together. Loving each other unconditionally. You comforting him whenever he was anxious and insecure, him surprising you with date nights or coming home from trips early to spend time with you. Spending his free days surprising him with things like his favorite dinner. You guys argued as well, but it was what happened in any healthy relationship.
This didn't feel like an argument anymore. Usually they would be resolved, this just felt like the end. You were a shitty girlfriend and he could probably find anyone much better. There were so many girls out there who admired him like a god, who would treat him as such. Girls who didn't take who they got for granted until it was too late and they had already gone.
He left. He was really gone. Those words kept repeating in your mind, and yet it felt like everything was a dream. It felt like you couldn't breathe at the moment. You were the reason this happened. The panic attack was coming quicker than you could stop it, and it was hitting at full force. The clock read 2AM by now. You had been sitting in the bed since 8PM waiting for him to walk into the bedroom. He wasn't coming.
Your whole world was crashing in on itself. Tears were welling up inside your eyes as you laid back on the bed, not feeling enough strength to hold yourself upright again. As you laid down on the bed, you were greeted with the smell of your boyfriend. Was he even your boyfriend anymore? His scent flooded your senses, the familiar smell you'd grown to love so much over the years. It was your breaking point.
With shaky hands you grabbed the blanket, hugging it to your body as the sobs started. Your whole body was trembling with them, curled up as you tried desperately to grasp onto what you felt like was the last of your relationship. The only thought in your mind was that all of this was your fault. Like the ignorant person you were, you lost the most important person to you.
You felt like you would do anything to fix this. To just get one more chance to see him. You would beg at your knees if you needed. Anything to promise him that you would be a better girlfriend to him. But he wasn't going to give you another chance. You only realized now how insignificant your work seemed when he left you. You'd been too distracted by your work that you forgot about the one thing that was more important.
You wanted to do so many things. Scream, throw your laptop at the wall, go out and look for him. But you just couldn't. The realization you felt, the pit in your stomach, the overwhelming sense of guilt. It was all too much for you to move a single limb. You felt overly nauseous, like you would throw up if you moved. 
You weren't someone that was completely dependent on Jungkook. You didn't need him to go about your day correctly. You could spend time apart with him. It was something you actually got used to with him going off on tours. But at this moment, it felt like your world was caving in on you. He was the one person who was always there for you no matter what, and now you had to come to terms with that changing. You sobbed even harder as you realized that.
This was the state that Jungkook saw as he walked back into the house. He knew that he had been gone for a long time, well over 12 hours. He had been cooling off by himself. He didn't even know how long he'd been out. His brother had been gone on vacation, meaning that he didn't have a place to go to. He didn't want to bother his bandmates with his relationship problems, so he could only think of one thing.
He spent the whole day hiking. One of the things he had done as a child growing up in Busan, it was something that helped him clear his mind. He drove a couple hours to the mountains and spend a big majority of the day in the nature. He had no service when he was out there, which helped him refrain from calling you before he had the opportunity to sort out his thoughts.
It had been well past nightfall when he got back down the mountain and he hadn't even realized how late it was. Not until he gained his signal back after he spent even longer at the small village by the bottom of the mountain. He had spent quite a while speaking to some of the elders that he lost track of time and saw it was nearly midnight. He had quickly said goodbye and promised to visit again before leaving.
It was only when he had gotten back onto the main highway that his signal returned and the notifications flooded his phone. He frowned as he looked at all of the missed calls from you, the worried texts. Your most recent one was the most concerning one, one that you had sent just twenty minutes prior.
"i'm sorry i was so shitty. i can pack all of my stuff and be gone in the morning."
He was confused as to why you were texting him that. Why were you packing your stuff and talking about leaving? He tried to call you multiple times, but none of the calls picked up. His own panic was building up as he stepped on the gas, speeding more than he would've liked to admit. It was a two hour drive back and right now he was cursing himself for picking a place so far away. 
You usually never called or texted him when you were separated to cool down from arguments, so he knew that something was different this time. He couldn't think of what was different this time, what had happened that led to you saying that you would be packing up to leave. Was he too harsh on you? Should he have just pushed the problem off even more?
You didn't even register the sound of the door opening, too consumed by your grief. Jungkook had rushed into the apartment, looking around for you. He checked the living room first, and then went straight to the bedroom. He stopped completely in his tracks when he saw you. Curled up on the bed into a ball, clutching your shared blanket to your chest, shaking with quiet and violent sobs.
For a few moments he could do nothing but stare at the sight. Wondering if he really had been too hard on you. He didn't think that his words were too harsh when he was saying them. He had only been speaking his feelings. But as he watched you right now, he felt his heart shattering. He never wanted this. He regretted ever saying anything.
You jumped as you felt a hand lay on your shoulder. Your eyes were swollen from all of your crying, you could barely make out the sight of Jungkook knelt down beside you, frowning with immense concern. You almost couldn't believe that he was right in front of you. Your sobs died down a bit as the two of you stared. You were the first one to break down.
"J-Jungkook, I'm so sorry. I was too consumed with my work and I didn't realize how shitty I treated you. You were right. You've always been so busy with work and you never treated me the way I treated you. I was so stressed by my job that I let it out on you. I was such a bad girlfriend, and I understand why you don't want to be with me anymore. I'm just sorry I didn't notice how bad I was." The way you spoke with small sniffles almost broke his heart and distracted him from what you said.
After he processed his words, his frown only deepened. Why were you speaking to him like this? Saying that you would pack all of your stuff, that he didn't want to be with you anymore, that you were a bad girlfriend? All of his anger was completely gone now and at the moment he just felt extremely confused along with distraught from how destroyed you looked.
"Baby, what are you talking about? Why are you saying all of this?" Jungkook asked with pure bewilderment in his tone. This made you look back at him with an equally confused expression. You weren't expecting this response from him. He seemed like he genuinely didn't know what you were talking about and it made you question everything.
"But.. you blocked me. You said that.. that you couldn't do this and were walking away?" You questioned, your voice cracking with how weak it was after sobbing. Jungkook tilted his head a bit as he tried to recall when he ever said that. After going through the argument in his head, the realization hit him. His eyes widened as he recalled what he said in the heat of the moment. He hadn't clarified what he meant and you had been left alone for however many hours thinking that he had ended the relationship.
"______, I know how those words seemed, but that's not at all what I meant. I was saying that I couldn't do the argument, not the relationship. I would never end things off. I only said I was walking away so I could cool off." Jungkook explained as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Not at all irritated by you, but instead angry at himself. He had only said what he was feeling in the heat of the moment and left.
"What about your phone..? None of my calls went through." You asked him, your voice still full with hurt and doubt. He felt terrible for even making you think for a moment that he wanted to end the relationship. Even though he had been pissed off, he would never end the relationship like that in the heat of the moment. Even enraged he knew it would be the worst mistake he would ever make.
"I went to the mountains to hike and get everything off my mind. My brother is on vacation so that's why I didn't go to him. The place I went had no service and so none of the calls or texts could've gotten through." He told you, and your eyes slightly widened. He was really telling the truth? He didn't want to break up with you? At this point you just felt like you had fallen asleep and this was all a dream.
To confirm this was real, you couldn't hold yourself back anymore and reached out for him, and he wasted no time. He sat down on the bed next to you and pulled you right into his arms. Your body froze as you felt his familiar warmth, smelled his scent with the addition of the smell of nature he'd been around all day. This was real. He wasn't leaving you.
The tears instantly started falling from your eyes, but it was different this time. It was relief. You spent so long crying because you thought he had broken up with you, but it all ended up being a misunderstanding. He wasn't leaving you and you had nothing to worry about. In the past 12 hours it felt like your life had completely ended, but it hadn't.
Jungkook held you closely to him, his fingers carding through your slightly tangled hair while his other hand rubbed small circles into your back. He rested his head on the top of yours, knowing that it was better for you to just get all of your feelings out. Even though nothing made him feel worse than knowing he was the reason that you were crying like this, it was better for you to just let it all out so it didn't bottle up. He had been doing that for the past few months and it turned out like this.
You didn't know how long you had been laying like that in his arms, but when you were finally able to stop crying, you noticed the beginnings of light peeking through the windows. The whole time Jungkook was there for you, whispering sweet things to help you calm down. How much he loved you, how he wasn't going to leave you, that he wasn't angry with you. Anything he could think of to help you calm down.
When you finally had a level enough mind to fully process everything, you felt so much relief. But you still felt the same guilt from before. You were the one that disregarded what he felt and now he was comforting you after an argument that was your fault. You needed to say something to him, to apologize and promise that you would be better. There was no way that you were ever going to let your work consume you again.
"I know I already said this, but I want to say that I'm so sorry. I was so stressed out with my new hours that I got angry and irritated whenever you just wanted to spend time with me. I never should've done that and I realize now how much I took you for granted. You've always made the time for me and I should've done the same for you. I know now how wrong and unfair I was being to you, and I want to be better." You said to him, your voice filled with regret.
Jungkook smiled lightly when he heard your apology. There was no longer any anger in his eyes. No resentment. To him, that was all in the past now. He could hear the sincerity in every word you said. After all, this was the reason that he had started dating you. You were so sweet and considerate towards others. You just needed to realize what you were doing wrong. You were distracted and didn't know you were bring rude.
"It's okay, my love. I know how stressful it's been for you and I'm not angry anymore. I understand how you feel and I accept your apology. I know you didn't realize how you were treating me." Jungkook replied, putting his fingers under your chin so he could tilt your head up to look at him. Even with your red, puffy eyes and runny nose you were so beautiful to him. He gently kissed the tip of your nose before resting his forehead against yours.
"I love you so much. Thank you for always being the best." You mumbled, closing your eyes as you took the time to let yourself bask in the moment. Letting go of all doubts that you felt previously. There was no reason to dwell on this argument, because you knew that you wouldn't make this mistake anymore going on.
"I love you too, always. No matter what happens." Jungkook replied with a bit of reassurance in his tone. You smiled as he said those words to you, leaning forward to close the small gap between the two of you. You were fully calmed down as your lips met and any thoughts that you had melted away in the moment. Everything was okay in this moment. 
Even though this argument had been rough, the two of you had stuck to your most important rule. The two of you went to sleep shortly afterwards, no more feelings of anger or resentment. You would never go to bed angry anymore, realizing just how important that rule was.
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phas3d · 5 months
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Annoying Habits || Slytherin Boys
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type :: fluff
tw/cw :: none
contains :: draco malfoy, tom riddle, mattheo riddle, theodore nott, lorenzo berkshire, blaise zabini
summary :: annoying ass things they do because at the end of the day they're teenage boys and are bound to be insufferable in some way possible (i do all of these exact things as a woman)
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DRACO MALFOY pauses movies every 5 minutes
After watching the movie for about an hour, you and Draco have only made it 15 minutes into the film. Why? Because despite it being the introduction, Draco found himself criticizing and questioning every single thing possible.
Right when the movie started and showed the main character, Draco slapped the pause button and asked, "Who is that?" only for you to sigh and unpause the film because you knew fully well the movie would tell you themselves.
"I'm Enola Holmes and-" said the character through the screen, proving you right, but she was rudely cut off by Draco slapping the pause button yet again.
"I don't like that name." he says, "Doesn't sound British enough. Sounds like an American trying to make up a British name. You know, I really hate when Americans try to make content based around Britain because-" blah blah blah as he starts to begin his 5 minute long rant about whatever that fuck he was talking about.
You didn't even utter a word back, knowing that if you responded he would only argue more. Even though you were not disagreeing with Draco, he still found himself ranting to the air.
Ironically, although Draco loves to over-explain and question things, he has refused to join the speech and debate team because he views them all as losers. But, you knew deep down that he would wipe all of them clean if he wanted to.
"That's why Americans should stick to American films." He says, finally ending his rant. He unpauses the movie, allowing the character to only move for 5 seconds before he pauses it again.
"The outfits don't look very accurate. I doubt they actually dressed like that back in that time era. Wait what time period is this movie in?" He says as he whips out his phone, beginning to research whether or not the film's costume design is accurate.
This continues on for the entire film. Never once does this man shut his mouth. It's better if you just watch the film on your own at this point.
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TOM RIDDLE full volume for everything
Everyone thinks that Tom loves silence and peace, but that's actually the farthest thing from the truth. He only prefers silence because he finds everyone else's voice extremely annoying. If he could, he would make all of Hogwarts mute just so he could enjoy not hearing some annoying 2nd year ranting or the boring lectures.
When you went to his dorm for the first time, you were instantly overwhelmed by all of the noise and lights. It was as if you entered an emo Cocomelon video in real life. Although his room was colored in calm cool colors, the audio was the opposite.
His computer was playing some classical music at full volume. His TV was playing Breaking Bad at full blast with captions that took up almost half of the screen. His phone was connected to a speaker that was blasting an audiobook of some king and had the voice of an old 90 year old man. Despite all of this noise, he was still humming a random tune and tapping his fingers.
Although now you're used to it, it's almost impossible to visit him at times. Of course he'll turn down everything and turn off certain things when you ask. But some days he can't be bothered to accommodate for you,
"Tom, can you please turn off your audiobook?" You ask as you struggled to read the textbook in your lap.
"Why? Do you not like it?" He asks while doing some random task.
"No no, I don't care about it. But it's just a bit distracting. I can handle the music and the TV and your humming but the audiobook is throwing me off from studying."
Tom rolled his eyes and sighed, he had so much sass in him that no one else got to see besides you. You see his eye roll and instantly want to smack him because of his sore attitude.
"Come on, you're not even listening to it!" You say defensively as he squints his eyes at you, obviously upset by what you said. Tom was exactly like a cat, sassy and judgy despite being the weird one.
With a painfully slow pace, Tom walks to the speaker that's playing the audiobook. You are relieved, it was pretty rare for Tom to actually listen to your requests.
But, to your dismay, Tom's finger presses the "+" button, making the speaker even louder than before as he goes to sit back in his chair and continue his task. You groan loudly as he smirks to himself due to his petty actions.
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MATTHEO RIDDLE flexes in every mirror in sight
Mattheo always made sure to treat you right by taking you out on nice dates every once in a while. He spoiled you rotten and you couldn't be more appreciative of it. You always had a reason to get dolled up and wear cute outfits.
But the one con that came with this was the inability to have alone time to get dolled up. Although Mattheo didn't know a thing about makeup or hair care, he always stayed with you to watch your process. I use the word, "watch" extremely lightly since he comes for one reason only.
And that's to flex in every single mirror you own. You can't escape it. He will flex and he will gawk at himself no matter the time or place. You thought he was doing this to impress you, but he wasn't. If he's being honest, he forgot you were even using the mirror due to how focussed he was on getting the perfect angle for his muscles to pop out.
Using a vanity? He's flexing to himself in the background as you do your makeup. He's showing off his legs and back muscles. Every time he found a good angle, he would whistle to himself and hype himself up.
Using the bathroom mirror? He's flexing his arms and shoulders, making sure he knows the best pose for his next mirror selfie. He doesn't care that you're doing your hair, he will tell you to move and hog the mirror to flex.
Using a hand held mirror? Well, I hope you brought two because he will take your mirror and check out his jawline and cheekbones. Even if you need it desperately, he won't listen and instead make out of pocket jokes, TOWARDS HIMSELF.
"God, you're so lucky" He says as he smirks to himself, winking in the mirror. "If I was a girl, I would shoot up a whole nursing home just to fuck myself."
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THEODORE NOTT looks like he's held captive in every picture
Theo and you have this joke that he's completely whipped for you, because it's true. Anything you want, you get instantly. Anything you don't like, he'll fix instantly. He's so down bad for you that there's a joke in your friend group that you beat it into his head to worship you.
The joke became even more solidified when one day you posted a picture with Theo and it looked as if Theo just got yelled at by his mom. So, Theo took this joke and ran to the edge of the Earth with it.
Now, his favorite thing to do is to feed into it. Every time the two of you take photos, he always looks guilty and sad in it. He makes sure to frown extra hard and make his eyes water. He hangs his head lower and makes sure to look as if he's as miserable as possible.
"Theo!!" You shouted as you looked at the photos your camera roll. You and Theo just went to a fancy restaurant with friends to celebrate their birthday.
As you swiped through the photos, you saw Theo frowning and teary-eyed in every photo. You're not even sure how he managed to do that. You groaned as Theo walked into the room with a huge smile on his face, knowing exactly why you called me.
"If you look miserable in another photo again I'm literally gonna punch you," You say as you shove your phone into his, allowing himself to see the photos of you two.
He chuckled and smirked at you. "You know I could never be miserable with you." He gives you a small peck on the cheek and walks away, as if he solved any of the issues.
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LORENZO BERKSHIRE dances to anything with no precautions
You were used to Lorenzo's random antics by now but one thing you could never get used to was his obsession with dancing to anything he hears. At first it was cute and reasonable. He danced to the music in stores, danced to random street performers, or the sound of the microwave beeping and begging to be opened.
But, his dancing has no limits. No matter the time or place, he will dance if there's a beat. And his dance skills are extremely below average, probably a D- if you're being honest. Although he could find a beat in anything, his body did not move to that beat no matter how hard he tried.
Once again, he got the urge to dance. But this time, to the sounds of your sniffling as you two finished watching "Everything Everywhere, All at Once". You could relate to almost every character and the inspiring message of pushing forward despite everything made you break down in an ugly cry.
As you sobbed into your 10th tissue, your choked breathes became a pattern. And although Lorenzo was comforting you and hated the sight of you crying, his body moved on his own.
He began to dance to you sobs as you started to cry even harder, hoping that it would make him stop. But it only made him dance harder.
Instantly, every feeling you felt towards the movie was gone as you watched your boyfriend do Fortnite dances extremely off-tempo and off-beat from your sobbing.
"L-Lorenzo" You said, trying to speak as you let out a soft chuckle at his horrible dance moves. "Lorenzo!!" You shouted as he stopped dancing and pouted.
"What?" he said with sass laced in his tone, as if he was in the right for dancing while his partner sobbed.
"Don't "what" me! I'm crying! Comfort me!" You say as you throw one of your snot filled tissues at him, making him scream as if you threw a grenade at him.
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read more here! :D
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jennelikejennay · 19 days
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I know this is basically heresy to the Spock fandom. I know a lot of people will disagree, and fics will continue to do things exactly the way they always have. But I must speak my truth.
Spock is not green.
Spock's blood is green but his skin is best described as sallow. Pale with a yellow undertone.
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Likewise humans are not honestly all that pink (no matter what Shran says). But we are more pink than Spock is green. We have a pink undertone, but Spock's undertone is yellow.
I've thought it over: the colors of human blood, with and without oxygen; the colors of copper, oxidized and not; the color of the copper-based blood of horseshoe crabs; the optical qualities of human skin. And I offer an explanation.
If you have a lightish skin tone and you flip your forearm over, you'll see blue veins. Which is why you probably grew up thinking unoxygenated blood is blue. It's actually not; it's purple.
What we're seeing is a scattering effect. You know how the sun shines in the atmosphere, and most of the color comes straight through just fine, but the blue covers the whole sky instead of coming straight down with the rest of the sunlight? That's because our atmosphere lets the other colors straight through (the warm white of the sun as seen from Earth) but scatters blue, making it seem like it's coming from everywhere.
Human skin does the same thing to red. While blue comes straight through, as if the skin were transparent, showing clear-edged veins, red is scattered. You won't see your arteries. Instead you see a pink cast that seems to be coming from everywhere.
Importantly, which colors show through and which are scattered has nothing to do with our blood, and everything to do with the optical properties of our skin.
Back to Spock. Oxidized, his blood is grass green. Which is kind of odd when you think about it. Horseshoe crabs have copper-based blood, and it's blue. When it doesn't have oxygen in it, it's pretty much colorless.
And this is the color of oxidized copper. I wouldn't call it grass green. The proper word is verdigris.
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So for Spock's blood to be grass green, there's probably something yellow in it. The plasma, or the white blood cells, or whatever.
Unoxygenated, copper is ... well, copper-colored. Orangey-brown. I'm not sure if it's possible for anyone's blood to ever get fully unoxygenated—cells just aren't that efficient. But if we assume Spock's blood is less green and more orange when unoxygenated, we might expect a yellowish-brown, yellow being the only color in both green and copper.
So we just have to assume Spock's skin has optical qualities which allow yellow through more than green or brown. The yellow is scattered, while visible blood vessels (if Spock has any) might be green or brown.
Yes, I'm arguing that Spock blushes yellowish. His ordinary skin tone would darken. You wouldn't have a whole new color showing up.
None of this implies that Spock's mucus membranes (tongue, gums, internal parts of genitals such as a sheathed penis) wouldn't be green. Without the thick, protective Vulcan skin, a lot more would show through.
I'm just saying, Spock looks pale-to-yellow on the show and I'm okay with that. I think science can justify it. (Alternatively, as SPOCKNALIA argues, Vulcan skin is too thick to show much through it, and the yellow tone is Vulcan melanin.)
However, I may still continue to have Spock blush green just for art's sake, and you can too. The only law of fanfic is that your canon is whatever you say it is.
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evilwizard · 4 months
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I do want to say, my views on AI “art” have changed somewhat. It was wrong of me to claim that it’s not wrong to use it in shitposts… there definitely is some degree of something problematic there.
Personally I feel like it’s one of those problems that’s best solved via lawmaking—specifically, AI generations shouldn’t be copywrite-able, and AI companies should be fined for art theft and “plagiarism”… even though it’s not directly plagiarism in the current legal sense. We definitely need ethical philosophers and lawmakers to spend some time defining exactly what is going on here.
But for civilians, using AI art is bad in the same nebulous sense that buying clothes from H&M or ordering stuff on Amazon is bad… it’s a very spread out, far away kind of badness, which makes it hard to quantify. And there’s no denying that in certain contexts, when applied in certain ways (with actual editing and artistic skill), AI can be a really interesting tool for artists and writers. Which again runs into the copywrite-ability thing. How much distance must be placed between the artist and the AI-generated inspiration in order to allow the artist to say “this work is fully mine?”
I can’t claim to know the answers to these issues. But I will say two things:
Ignoring AI shit isn’t going to make it go away. Our tumblr philosophy is wildly unpopular in the real world and most other places on the internet, and those who do start using AI are unfortunately gonna have a big leg up on those who don’t, especially as it gets better and better at avoiding human detection.
Treating AI as a fundamental, ontological evil is going to prevent us from having these deep conversations which are necessary for us—as a part of society—to figure out the ways to censure AI that are actually helpful to artists. We need strong unions making permanent deals now, we need laws in place that regulate AI use and the replacement of humans, and we need to get this technology out of the hands of huge megacorporations who want nothing more than to profit off our suffering.
I’ve seen the research. I knew AI was going to big years ago, and right now I know that it’s just going to get bigger. Nearly every job is in danger. We need to interact with this issue—sooner rather than later—or we risk losing all of our futures. And unfortunately, just as with many other things under capitalism, for the time being I think we have to allow some concessions. The issue is not 100% black or white. Certainly a dark, stormy grey of some sort.
But please don’t attack middle-aged cat-owners playing around with AI filters. Start a dialogue about the spectrum of morality present in every use of AI—from the good (recognizing cancer cells years in advance, finding awesome new metamaterials) to the bad (megacorporations replacing workers and stealing from artists) to the kinda ambiguous (shitposts, app filter that makes your dog look like a 16th century British royal for some reason).
And if you disagree with me, please don’t be hateful about it. I fully recognize that my current views might be wrong. I’m not a paragon of moral philosophy or anything. I’m just doing my best to live my life in a way that improves the world instead of detracting from it. That’s all any of us can do, in my opinion.
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aurae-rori · 2 months
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DR RATIO ANALYSIS
SPOILERS FOR 2.1 CONTENT!
Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, Oh No! and Are You Satisfied? are much too basic songs to analyze Dr. Ratio to! Just because he's a scholar doesn't mean that he has academic trauma!" WRONG! Before we start, I have been researching psychology for approximately six years and I plan to go into it professionally. HOWEVER, that said, I am NOT a professional (YET. One day I will be. Yay for Aurae!) so understand that everything I come to conclusions about has been analyzed with some personal judgement, personal interpretations, and this is just what I have concluded with the info that I have deconstructed from his brain. If you disagree, that's fine!
I will be pulling from my own experiences with being a "golden" and "gifted" child, as well as the experiences I've had speaking to other people who were those. I will also be pulling from my experiences of researching and seeing how people with superiority complexes work, as well as diving into how those work (from what I've seen, as well as how they conceal a lack of self-esteem).
OKAY, NOW THAT THAT LONG AHH DISCLAIMER IS OVER, ALLOW ME TO WORK MY PSYCH ENJOYER MAGIC! Let's deconstruct Dr. Ratio like a lego toy.
Let's start off with how Dr. Ratio presents himself. When you first meet him, he seems like a haughty, arrogant asshole. He likes to PRESENT himself as a stoic, superior scholar who is purely in it to win it, and I got total "*stares down at your tiny body and laughs at how you lack knowledge*" vibes at the very start, due to how he goes around calling people idiots all the time. However, he DOES lose the idgaf war, and we can very quickly see that he does care for other people, even if in his own, strange way. Dr Ratio presentation: An asshole. The reality?
His entire character is based around the idea of helping the masses. He wishes to spread knowledge through the cosmos and give people who didn't have access to it, access. He's a harsh teacher, and calling people 'idiots' is NOT the way to motivate them, but he's doing his best™.
Actually, no, I'm going to go full psych into this. Okay, so here starts the Dr. Ratio and my FATHER COMPARISONS. My father is a professor and he is often called a harsh grader by his students. However, I've spoken to him multiple times because I was curious - why is he so harsh and diligent with his grading system? The answer is - he wants them to actually learn. When he's grading, he gives them harsh marks because he wants them to know exactly where they messed up, and he's always willing to stay after hours to help students understand where they can't. My father also is an enjoyer of knowledge, and for as long as I've remembered, he has prioritized teaching me how to think critically. He wants me to be able to think for myself - and I think that's what Dr. Ratio wants, too. He wants for his students to be able to fully comprehend and absorb the information that he teaches, and although his methods are harsh, he genuinely wants to help. My father's like this too - he hates students that waste his time or aren't here because their hearts are in it. Dr. Ratio hates people who aren't taking their education seriously because knowledge is important. Knowledge is a tool, and to disregard it completely is lowkey kind of insulting - especially when there are people who weren't privileged enough to actually get it, so this isn't something that you should take for granted. Dr. Ratio despises people who take knowledge for granted.
Also, I disagree with the claims that say that Dr. Ratio hates the genius society. He shows open respect for them in his voice lines. Just check them if you need proof. Also, I'll delve into the idea of Aeons and recognition later.
Now that we’ve established that Dr. Ratio kins my dad, let’s let's tackle the 'stoic' allegations. He is LOSING the idgaf war. Like, really badly. He has a temper of a thousand suns and snaps at people frequently, despite his 'impassive' face, his tone holds a LOT of emotion. He seems to feel very deeply and has a shit ton of empathy for others - why else would he be dedicating his entire career to helping others? Of course, he doesn't express this in 'typical' ways of being openly kind - but it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for other people. In fact, he seems to be pretty good at putting himself in the shoes of others and understanding them - expressed in the 2.1 quest where he tells Aventurine to tell him if he can't hold on any longer. Also, he loses the IDGAF war because he is actively trying to help people who want to learn and trying to spread logic and knowledge across the cosmos to those who didn't have it before. Would a man who didn't GAF do that? No!
Now that we've covered his view on knowledge and the way that he presents himself, let's turn to the way that he SEES himself. Now, this is where we get into the nitty gritty of gifted child trauma & academic trauma as well as crippling expectations. It's literally explicitly said in his character stories that he sees himself as mediocre, and it's canon that he doesn't have a good view of himself. His self-esteem is down in the fucking trenches along with my sanity as I write this analysis. The reality is - being called a genius your whole life doesn't really make you feel better about yourself. I'd know. I was. In fact, it makes you feel fucking worse when you can't live up to an expectation. We all fail in life. It's part of being human. But when you're held to such high standards - idolized for your knowledge and the way that you're 'gifted' - the crash comes really fucking hard. Failure is inevitable, and when people who are held on that pedestal experience it, they take it really bad.
The reality is that nobody - not even geniuses - are perfect, but you grow up believing that you are. Then, when you fail for the first time, it all comes tumbling down. The first time I came home with a bad grade was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I hadn't studied because I was arrogant and I thought that I was smart enough to pass without putting any extra effort into it - because I was a 'gifted' child, right? I should've been able to do it without studying like the other kids. And that's the thing with gifted children – you grow reliant on that title. You cling onto it for dear life for motivation, as well as self-perception. Little by little, the person you are falls apart as you slave away to the perception other people have of you. I think basically every gifted child that I've ever spoken to is a victim of this – and of course, you can heal from this mindset - but it's a hard one to shake.
Ratio's way of presenting himself as being a 'genius' and 'arrogant' also seems to contradict the way that he calls himself 'mundane' at the same time. However, these are two mindsets that can coexist. One part of you believes that you are a genius and that you are perfect, while the other part is crumbling and calling yourself good-for-nothing every time you make a mistake. It's a tiring cycle to live in. This usually leads to people shutting themselves out and closing themselves off after living like that, pushing back your own feelings in favour of being the perfect child. However, we don't know the exact details of Dr. Ratio's childhood, but we can infer that he was held to a pedestal, and this is a very harmful mindset for a child to have.
His superiority complex comes both from how other people view him, but it's a way to cope with his crippling lack of self-esteem. I'm sorry my guy. Also helping others probably helps him feel like he's worth something and makes him feel better because he bases his entire worth off of what he can do and how he can help others. However, this is just my personal interpretation backed by what I have already deconstructed. 
In general, this is an easy way to crush self-esteem. You spend your whole life working to meet the image of what other people think you are. In fact, another reason why Dr. Ratio might be so harsh is because that’s the kind of attitude he holds towards himself when conducting research – he’s as hard on himself as he is to others. You end up hating the idea of failure, instead of seeing it as it should be - a way to improve and grow. Actually, I think this could be a reason that he went out of his way to break that illusion of 'worshipping geniuses' in the Space Station. Maybe some sort of childhood connection? Personal connection? In his endeavour to spread more knowledge and make people think for themselves and not blindly follow geniuses, to wake them up and let them think for themselves - maybe, somewhere, in there, he's helping that little child that was almost dehumanized for his intelligence. TLDR: Conflicting mindsets due to trauma, brain vs heart almost - his knowledge that he is a genius vs the crippling lack of his self worth.
Now that we've established Dr. Ratio's self worth, let's take a look at the impact Aeons had on him. Nous, the Aeon of Knowledge itself. I think in a world where the Gods are real, tangible beings that you can reach out and talk to - it makes sense that someone with high ambition and someone who's been called a genius his whole life would seek the confirmation of Nous. When you're a man of knowledge, and you've spent your whole life working with it, being praised for it – it feels natural to look for a god to look down upon you and bless you, right? The Genius Society – it should house him, because he is a genius as well, right? Imagine this – you have been called a genius your whole life, held to that kind of pedestal for so long, and now you wait for the recognition of the Gods. Because if you truly are a genius – then surely, a higher being will recognize your intelligence, right?
The invitation never comes.
And then, comes the doubt.
What if I'm really not a genius? What if everything I've worked for is a lie? Aeons are beings that are 'absolute'. If the god of Knowledge won't accept you or even cast a glance upon you, does that mean that everything was wrong. Gods see more than humans, after all. Gods know more than humans - and that spiral... I think you can see if. (If you don't let me know. I will ramble about how a failure like that can make you spiral down into a worse mindset). 
However, the reason why Ratio was never invited to the Genius Society is simple. It’s because he LOSES THE IDGAF WAR. Now, if we look at all the people we know who are in the Genius Society - we find one thing in common. They’re in it to win it for themselves. They don’t help others using the knowledge that they’ve gotten - they use it to pursue shit for themselves. The people of the Genius Society are inherently self-serving. They WIN the idgaf war. Ratio LOSES. Do we see now? 
Ratio’s empathy is the reason why he wasn’t let in. He is too human. Nous is a computer. Herta is detached from people. Ruan Mei is literally looking at life as test subjects. Screwllum is a robot. 
OUR DOCTOR MAN LOST THE IDGAF WAR, BECAUSE HE IS HUMAN AND FEELS FOR OTHERS!!! 
Also, it’s a plausible theory that Nous’s definition of ‘genius’ is different from the human definition of ‘genius’ – it’s a computer, after all. Who knows what’s going on in that code head of its. 
However, we still love you Ratio. Never stop losing the IDGAF war. 
TLDR: Nous is a computer. It is also in it to win it. It is also self serving. It gazes upon the hoes who are here to win it for themselves. Ratio is busy serving the masses and cooking knowledge in his frying pan. To it, there is no logical reason to be doing this. Therefore, no reason to invite this guy to the Genius Society. 
Ratio’s gifted child trauma says otherwise. He wants in. Why wouldn’t he? He’s been working his whole life as a genius. 
Nous is like… nah bro, you care too much. Ratio is like, ‘what the fuck?’ And then the AEON OF KNOWLEDGE GOES FOR THE MILK. 
Okay, now, quick shoutout to Ratio wanting to help others. He is just like me fr. SO BASICALLY, RECAP OF EVERYTHING I JUST SAID:
Ratio LOSES the idgaf war because he cares about other people. Spent his whole life as the golden egg, and then turns to the gods for recognition because of the inherent trauma of being a child genius. He goes, "hey bro, can you confirm that I am in fact a genius?" and Nous goes, "no, you are too busy cheffing for the masses." Ratio goes, "what the fuck?" and then we collectively realize his attitude comes from blocking off his feelings (while failing miserably), being salty about not being recognized, being put on a pedestal for his whole life, and his crippling depression *cough* lack of self worth *cough*. 
Oh, and the "I will never be enough" thought train probably hits him every single day. He is not enough to be recognized by a God. Gods are superior to humans. Maybe nothing has worth after all. Hey, that's Nihility! Hi IX, let's hear what you have to say.
*muffled ix noises*
I see, I see.
The consensus is: HE'S TRAUMATIZED BY EXPECTATIONS! HE WILL PROBABLY SUFFER FROM BURNT OUT GIFTED CHILD IF HE HAS NOT ALREADY!
Okay, now, before I delve into song lyrics (and I KNOW this has been long, just bear with me) I want to talk a little bit (read: a lot) about his relationship with Aventurine. We all know that he cares about Aventurine in his own way. But I want to pull in another idea that I didn’t cover before: 
Ratio’s fucking emotional constipation. 
Basically, the reason why he has trouble connecting with others is because he was most likely alienated by others as a symptom of being called a genius and being put on a pedestal. This makes him seem unapproachable to his peers, most likely, and therefore, as a result, doesn’t know how to properly connect with others. This just makes his way of presenting affection and care to others even more challenging – because he just doesn’t know how to do it in a healthy and clear way. Academic trauma causing emotional problems, because he’s probably a little bit out of touch with his own. Processing? No! Research. Also, this is very important for understanding Ratio’s character in my opinion, because he’s just a little guy who doesn’t know how to articulate. Maybe he’s got a touch of the ‘tism. Tism mutuals, do we agree or disagree? 
However, in comes Aventurine. Love Aventurine, but they are both emotionally constipated. Aventurine displays his affection in ways that Ratio probably only catches after re-analyzing their time together about five times. He’s also a very closed off individual – but Ratio knows this. A cute thing is that Ratio is patient where he needs to be, even if he’s generally a pretty hot-headed guy, and I’m like… bro… that letter… “I wish you the best of luck”... I will wait for you…. GAY ASS MAN…
Sorry the Aventio demons took over. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that they both have nonverbal communication with one another that they clearly decipher and Ratio obviously cares for him (he came back and almost jeopardized the plan just for the sake of his ‘coworker’... okay gayboy…) and they just have such a neat little dynamic… Aventurine lets Dr. Ratio do his thing… understands his emotional alienation to a degree…. they’re so neat….
Okay, Aventurine segment over. NOW, FINALLY, WE CAN GET TO THE SONG LYRICS!!! YAY!!!! We all cheered!!!
We are going to be here for two more amber eras, because I realized I actually want to analyze every single lyric from both of these songs. Brace yourself for like, 2k more words. Help. 
I think it’s only proper that we start off with ‘Oh No!’ the song that has haunted me since my childhood.
“Don’t do love, don’t do friends
I’m only after success
Don’t need a relationship
I’ll never soften my grip”
Remember when I mentioned that alienation was a big part of Ratio lore? Yeah, that manifests itself in this. When you spend your entire life chasing after knowledge and being held to that standard of untouchable genius, it makes sense that you couldn’t connect with others and that you turn your gaze only to success. Therefore, relationships that are interpersonal lose meaning for a bit – you’re just looking for answers and ways to help them, not connect with them. Also, this is what he wants to do – so he’s never going to pass down an opportunity to better himself or to help someone else. 
“Don’t want cash, don’t want card
Want it fast, want it hard 
Don’t need money, don’t need fame
I just want to make a change
I just wanna change, I just wanna change” 
This is directly alluding to his reasonings for distributing knowledge across the cosmos. Was he based on this song? Maybe he was. He’s not looking for money or fame, his ultimate goal is actually pretty selfless – to bring knowledge and give people the tools they need to think for themselves. He just wants to make a change – he just wants people to be able to have access to knowledge and help cure ‘stupidity’. He wants to do it as quickly as possible, always reaching for lofty goals that might seem impossible, but he will make them possible. 
“I know exactly what I want and who I want to be
I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine
I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy
Oh! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, oh!” 
Ratio knows his goal. He knows what he’s working towards. I do believe that he understands why he is the way that he is – he has a degree in Psychology, after all. He knows how he’s been hurt but at the same time, the trauma brain probably doesn’t want to recognize it and he hasn’t stepped into healing yet. He knows what he went through impacted him, but he’s too busy helping others to help himself. He’s becoming what he wants to be, and yet he’s not, all at the same time – which causes the idea of “oh no!” as a kind of cry for help, almost. He’s too proud to ask for it himself, of course, so he’ll fall alone until someone manages to catch him and give him the strength to continue holding on. Aventurine is that. 
“One track mind, one track heart
If I fail, I’ll fall apart
Maybe it is all a test
‘Cause I feel like I’m the worst
So I always act like I’m the best” 
Now, these are the exact lyrics that made me associate this song with Ratio in the first place. He’s got a singular goal that he will do nothing to stop at getting, that he goes so far to get to. However, as I mentioned earlier, failure is not an option for those who were deemed gifted or genius. You are perfect, so therefore you must live up to everyone’s every expectation and surpass them, too, in order to keep your perception of yourself intact. Ratio does not hold himself in high regard, but acts arrogant in order to hold himself together and not fall to the self-deprecating thoughts, even if they fall through the cracks. It gets tiring to hold yourself together like that for a long time, you know? 
“I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly
I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die
I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly
I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die” 
Remember how I was talking about contradictory mindsets and how they can coexist. This is them. The feeling of crippling self-hatred and lack of self esteem versus the idea that you can do it, you can make a difference – you were born a genius, this is what you’re going to do. This is the knowledge that you are a genius vs the lack of self-esteem that Ratio has. “Mediocre” vs “genius” mindset, eh? 
All the other lyrics in this song are repetitions of what I’ve analyzed before, so let’s move onto “Are you Satisfied?” 
To be honest, there are only a few lines in this song that allow me to connect it to Ratio, so therefore, I will only be analyzing them. However, if you think that other lyrics can connect to him, I’d be interested in knowing how. 
“What you’re gonna be 
It’s not my problem if you don’t see what I see
And I do not give a damn if you don’t believe
My problem, it’s my problem that I never am happy
It’s my problem, it’s my problem on how fast I will succeed”
Pretending to not care about how the world sees you is so fucking real. Sometimes, you really don’t give a shit, and sometimes it’s all you can think about. Ratio… doesn’t seem like he’s the happiest person. He works himself hard and he’s always chasing after a goal that must be exhausting. He’s always doing his best, and I think even with his empathy, it’s easy to start not giving a shit after trying for so long and so hard. Accepting help is one of the hardest things that anybody can do, especially with how much pride he has. His personal problems are his personal problems and he can deal with them on his own. 
“High achiever, don’t you see? 
Baby, nothing comes for free
They say I’m a control freak
Driven by a greed to succeed
Nobody can stop me” 
Nothing comes for free. A lot of the things Ratio has achieved is due to his own intelligence, yes, but also because of a shit ton of hard work. His goal is literally to cure the universe of ‘stupidity’ – and that’s a pretty large fucking goal. He is a high achiever who likes to know the details of every situation when he can in order to try and make things better, and he is driven by a greed to succeed. Why wouldn’t he be? Success is important, and success means helping more people. He isn’t going to allow himself to be stopped by anybody – not even anybody from the Genius society. 
Okay, and we have finally reached the end of my analysis! This caps at around 4k words, so if you stuck around for this long, thank you so much. I would love to hear any of your comments, and I hope you laughed a little bit. Thank you again! This means so much to me that you read. <3
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bones4thecats · 2 months
Text
They Had A Nightmare Of The Overblot (PT. 2)
Type of Writing: Random Idea Name: They Had A Nightmare Of The Overblot Characters: Vil Schoenheit, Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia, and Grim + Yuu Sei Idea-Giver: Random Thoughts
A/N: Like in my past pieces, the reader is not MC/Yuu, they are a person coming from Twisted Wonderland. By the way, for Yuu and Grim's part, they are envisioning the overblot of Yuu's S/O. And, for Malleus' part, it is set in the future where he and the reader are married and have a child (the reader is not specified as female though)
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👑 As someone that tends to fills his day with many different things ranging from club duties to his work as a model and actor, Vil does not like to dwell on the past, to him it's necessary and can hold one back
👑 But, for some reason, the Great Seven seemingly disagreed with his coping mechanism
👑 You and Vil had begun to date one another a few weeks after his overblot, since you both grew up together in the Shaftlands, with your guardians working together in the movie business, but your guardian was a casting director while Eric Venue was an actor, you guys were very close growing up
👑 And because of how close you both were, seeing such a sight was something that not only scared him, but it scared you. You had watched your dearest friend become a, in other's words, monster
👑 Vil, before he blacked out, had seen your shocked and terrified face as you held Neige, trying to keep his afloat in the chaotic scene
👑 Thankfully, while he did come to his senses and become the same man you knew and loved, there was always a voice lingering in his head telling him that that incident proved how pathetic and weak he was. And how he could lose you easily to someone just like Neige
👑 These thoughts consumed his mind as he slept with you being coddled in his arms, your hands intertwined as your breaths began to slowly separate with Vil's speeding up and your slightly faltering at the feeling of air rushing past your ears
👑 Looking at your boyfriend over your shoulder, your eyes slightly widened at the sight of him, his face was contorting slightly as if he was going to cry but he was being forced to hold it in by fear
👑 Grabbing his face, you began to try waking him up. From shaking him to, somewhat, messing with his already messy hair, nothing was working, until you grabbed a small glass of water from your bedside table and splashed his face, making his eyes jerk open with shock
" Vil?! Hey, are you alright? You were jerking so much in your sleep and you looked like you were about to cry. I tried waking you up by shaking you but it wouldn't work- " " You're okay... " " What? " " Oh, thank the Great Seven that you're okay! "
👑 Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, Vil wrapped his arms tightly around you, tighter than he ever has before, making you let out a small gush of air from the pressure
👑 Holding you with his face burrowed into your neck as he lightly sobbed tears of joy, you sighed gently and hugged him right back. Your hands eventually reached up and began to massage his head and back, allowing him to drift back into a rest
👑 This time... there would be no dream of that fateful day and how you got that scar on your arm, it would be about you and his first date. The day he first realized he loved you...
👑 He's gonna kill you in the morning for splashing water on his face btw
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🎮 Unlike pretty much the rest of the boys, Idia doesn't fully hate his overblot. After all, he did gain his brother again, albeit a robotic version, but still
🎮 Though, every time he looks at Ortho, he remembers his overblot and the incident that happened when they were very young. And that makes him rethink everything. Also, don't get me started on when he looks at you
🎮 While he does think about how amazing and good-looking you are, he also thinks about the incident and how he sent a large shock at you and caused you to go into the infirmary for nearly an entirety of four weeks. And if scares him that he had done that to the only person who was there with him since the beginning, no death of anything occurring
🎮 Because of that event and how he had nearly harmed you to the point of being in a coma, Idia was very distant, holding to himself far worse than he ever did before. But, somehow despite these actions, you had accepted him and begun a relationship
🎮 For Idia, your relationship was built upon trust, loyalty, and honesty. Nothing else truly mattered to the male if he knew you would always be there and tell him the truth without him questioning it
🎮 One sign of his trust was allowing you to sleep in the same bed as him. And, in one of the first few times of this happened, disaster struck in the form of a nightmare
🎮 Hugging you tighter from behind as his eyes dodged in every direction underneath his closer eyelids, you awoke to his whimpers and very faint calls of your name and a mixture of pleases and no's
🎮 You had heard his eventual scream of a no and looked over at him in shock, he had never awoke so abruptly and harshly, even when he had nightmares of Ortho's death all those years ago, and that was scaring you enough, what had scared him so badly?
🎮 Opening your arms as he lunged in and hugged you tighter as if you were about to disappear, you began to hush him and hum a lullaby that his younger brother said he used to sing to him all the time when he had bad dreams growing up
" Y-Y/N, p-please don't leave me... not again... " " I won't, my love. I'm always going to be by your side, no matter what, okay? "
🎮 Nodding as you hugged him and pressed soft kisses to his temples, nose, forehead, and eventually to his somehow naturally blue lips, making him melt and hold one of your cheeks with his hands
" Now, how about we get some more sleep? You really need it. " " Ha-ha, funny... but, yeah. Sleep sounds really nice... "
🎮 Getting back under the covers, you instead of being the little spoon, allowing Idia to crawl into your arms as your legs tangled together comfortably. His breaths then calmed and became a steady sound as you rubbed his head and back to comfort him and remind him of your words
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🐉 Malleus was not proud of himself after the incident, how could he have let something like this cover his mind so thickly it could be compared to Lilia's cooking's stench?
🐉 Ever since he had overcome his emotional issues with the help of his dearest friend, Yuu Sei, and his friends and family members, you and him began your real relationship, courting and all
🐉 Now, he had never really dwelled on the past, to him, it would only hold someone back. Holding onto a grudge was something he wasn't fond of doing, so he tried to never do it. And, unfortunately, he had failed with this kind of grudge
🐉 Back to the point of this;
🐉 You could tell that Malleus was getting stressed with his work beginning to overflow, and despite the combined efforts of help from his father-figure, Lilia Vanrouge, and his closest friends, Silver and Sebek, he still had a lot left for him as the King of Briar Valley
🐉 His grip as he held you as you rest was also a tell-tale sign. His tail's grip was starting to make your leg fall asleep, which was what initially woke you up, and when he felt you touch his tail and left it, he had accidentally in his sleep knocked you away and knock a cup down, landing on the ground with a shockingly decent-sounding crash
🐉 Malleus' eyes erupted awake as he called your name, unnoticed tears falling from his eyes as his tail had rammed up and his horns slightly curved farther with growth
" My Spindle, are you alright?! Do you have any cuts, bruises, or any burns?! Oh no, please tell me I did not burn you... "
🐉 Burn you? What in the name of Twisted Wonderland was your husband raving about?
" Burn me? No, Malleus, your tail merely knocked me back into the cup. I'm perfectly fine! Are you okay? You have tears falling down your cheeks... " " Tears? Ah, I didn't notice those... but, yes, I am fine. "
🐉 Bullshit, you knew when your husband was internally hurting and every time you saw this habit of pushing something else ahead to distract you, you would get annoyed. Much like right now
" Malleus. I know when you aren't okay... don't start lying to me now. " " Father? Mommy/Daddy? What happened? " " Nothing, Diaval. Just go back to bed okay? " " Why is Father crying, Mommy/Daddy? " " Father just had a hint of a bad dream, like you and I do. Now, please darling, go back to your bed. " " Can I sleep with you guys for the night? " " Why? " " I- I don't remember which direction my room is... "
🐉 Malleus smiled gently and held out his hand to his first-born son and hugged him as you chuckled as your son threw up his small raven plushie and huddled himself underneath the sheets as you hugged him and Malleus wrapped his long tail around you both
🐉 Why was he so scared of what he had done in the past? Maybe it was because the last thing he saw was the slight burn marks you still had imprinted on your arms from protecting Yuu, or maybe it was because he needed to see something to remember... remember why his mother had gave her life for him
🐉 She did so so he could understand her, her love for her spouse and child... and while normally such a though would bring the fae to tears, Malleus couldn't help but lay a kiss to his son and spouse's heads as he hugged them, pledging his devotion over and over again...
🐉 It did not matter what had happened, what mattered was what was going to happen
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❤️‍🩹 -> MC/Yuu Sei ~ 😼 -> Grim ~ ・ -> Both Btw, the reader here is in Heartslabyul with Ace and Deuce
❤️‍🩹 Yuu, unlike his companion, had a very strict schedule of thinking when it came to the dark magic he had survived attacks from for the past few months at Night Raven College
❤️‍🩹 It was quite ironic really, because of his way of thinking and devotion to keeping his head high, he had attracted you, by far one of the nicest beings he had ever met in the new world... and really in his entire life
😼 Grim, on the other hand, had only gotten your attention because of how he treated your dorm leader, Riddle Rosehearts, with blatant disregard until he had punished him with his signature spell
😼 The feline had devolped a quick rivalry with you as well, well, a one sided rivalry that is, you didn't really hate the monster. In reality, you cared for the small thing as if it was your own sibling or child, gifting him small cans of tuna from now and then
❤️‍🩹 Your connection with Grim was something that Yuu loved, but, whenever he had seen you bending down you give Grim a can of tuna, your boyfriend couldn't help but see you in that god-awful form bending down above your old friend Cater about ready to attack
❤️‍🩹 He had never told you anything of it, preferring to keep such a vision to himself. He wouldn't want to worry you about his mind
Sadly for both of them, they would be forced to face their fears with the motivation of one thing; a nightmare with you nearby
😼 Your little friend had been curled up in your lap after eating to much for his lunch, mainly three cans of large tuna, and begun to take a long power-nap
😼 But, when you felt him begin to twitch far more than normal and feel the faint whimpers come off from his chest, you picked Grim up and excused yourself from your third-year allies and housewarden to deal with him
😼 Ushering him awake, Grim jumped and accidentally clawed your hand, making a small cut begin to bleed on your palm. And he could only sit there on the ground in your dorm-room, small yet bubbly tears falling down his cheeks
" Grim! Are you alright? " " I-I'm fine, Y/N. " " No you're not... Grim, I know when someone's lying, please don't make me add you to the list of liars. "
While getting Grim to admit his nightmares was fairly easy, getting your boyfriend to do so would be far harder
❤️‍🩹 Yuu was, in your opinion, a no-paid therapist for the entire school. Or, at least the main members of each dorm, from housewardens to their vices, he has spoken to pretty much all of them through their problems
❤️‍🩹 He never really has been so clean of energy that day in particular, from nearly getting hit on the head by Deuce's cauldron from running from Vil while housing Epel from his lessons that day, he just wanted to lay by his loving S/O and take a long hard rest for the night
❤️‍🩹 But, like a lot of things that year, even something has simple as that didn't work out for him. He had a complete nightmare of the overblots he had faced alongside you, and he had woken up in a shock right before a dangerous and death-worthy attack landed on you
❤️‍🩹 You had starred at him in shock from the ground you had fallen on and just rubbed your arm as you crawled back up and began to caress his arms and back in an attempt to calm him down as tears swarmed his eyes and began to leak
" Y/N? Oh God, you probably think I'm weak for crying about something so futile... " " Futile? Yuu Sei I have seen and heard a lot of things throughout my lifetime here in Twisted Wonderland, some of which I believe and some I do not. This is far from a futile thing to cry about. You just imagined the almost-happening death of someone you care for... like I have... and from the mighty words of my Godfather, Dire Crowley, 'In order to use magic just how you picture it, you need imagination. Some mages also find it useful to make a habit out of writing and drawing out their ideas, to train their ability to better materialize them'. " " What does that old bird's words have to do with this?... No offense! "
❤️‍🩹 Chuckling at his reaction, you gripped his hands in yours and said the following words that would forever lay resting in his mind before he slept every night
" In my words, ' In order to succeed in surpassing something, you must earn it. Whether it be from talking about it or writing it down in a journal of some sorts, letting such pains off your shoulders helps out a ton, whether you believe it or not.' " " Now I know that did not come from Crowley's mouth. "
❤️‍🩹 Laughing at your boyfriend's words, Yuu took it as an opportunity and lunged on you, wrestling playfully with you as you laughed while he tickled your sides... oh, what did you do to earn such a wonderful man?
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my-castles-crumbling · 3 months
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bar - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 645 - NSFW (detailed descriptions of sexual dancing but not actual sex) - sorry for flooding your inbox today, @jegulus-microfic, I really like this prompt!
"Make Regulus blush."
That had been James's dare from Dorcas.
But Regulus was a fortress. He didn't react to anything. James had been trying for months. He'd flirted, complimented, annoyed, and instigated.
The only reason he hadn't given up was because of Marlene. 'Cas says that Reg likes you back. You just have to break through his....er...walls.'
So he continued to try. But Regulus continued to reject him. He had a plan tonight, though.
Sirius had snuck off with Remus so he wasn't about to get reprimanded for resorting to desperate measures. Which he was going to do. Because these were definitely desperate times. Meaning, James was desperate for Regulus.
So he stood from his spot in their circle of friends and moved in front of Regulus. "Any rules?" he asked lightly, looking at Regulus.
"No," Dorcas answered, while Regulus wrinkled his nose and said, "No touching."
"Alright," James nodded, conjuring a chair and gesturing for Regulus to sit.
The other boy sat gingerly, looking up at him with a bored expression that said 'do your worst.'
Then, waving his wand, James made music begin.
Of course, he was not a trained professional. He'd never given a lap dance in his life, actually. But he had a feeling that didn't matter. Because as soon as the music began, a suggestive bass line filling the room, Regulus looked nervous.
"Sure this is okay?" James asked and he stepped closer.
"No touching," Regulus repeated, quieter, now.
"Sure."
Instead, James slowly circled the chair, before coming around to the front again. Grinning slightly, he straddled Regulus, never allowing their legs to touch, gripping the bar of the back of the chair behind Regulus's head for balance, before slowly guiding himself down and in.
It was difficult. James thanked Merlin for his Quidditch training, as his thighs burned from the position. But, leaning closer and allowing his face and chest to move just centimeters way from Regulus, thrusting his hips with the music, he realized it was worth it. Because it was working.
The air was becoming hot and Regulus's breath was hitching. James felt the tension rolling off of both of them in waves.
Wolf whistles sounded from around them as Regulus began to squirm, accidentally causing their legs to brush.
"I can stop, love," James murmured into his ear, knowing he couldn't do much else without actually touching Regulus.
But Regulus met his eyes and tilted his chin up slightly before spreading his own knees just a little, making their legs touch again. "Go on," he muttered. "I won't blush even if you touch me."
Grinning at the challenge, James sat fully in his lap, now, earning screams from the circle, but focusing on Regulus's face. He looked like he was concentrating, his lip between his teeth and his eyes staring across the room. "Distracted?" James asked quietly, slowly allowing his weight to pull their bodies together deliciously.
"No," Regulus grunted, still staring off.
James ran his hands up Regulus's chest and thrust just slightly, earning a shiver from the other boy. "And now, love?"
"No."
Someone in the circle whistled again and everyone was chattering and giggling.
He bit at the earlobe in front of him before mouthing down Regulus's neck. The smallest moan was detectible only through vibration, and James smiled into the pale skin in front of him. "Blushing now?"
"N-no."
But James knew he was lying. Because it was clear from the hardness poking into his inner thigh that Regulus was very distracted. So he whispered again, "Your cock seems to disagree."
Regulus let out a louder groan this time, throwing his head back a bit, and James looked triumphantly at his skin, a beautiful blush forming there. "We'll pick this up later, love," he murmured into Regulus's ear, kissing his neck lightly before standing up and facing Dorcas.
"I win."
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ao3commentoftheday · 6 months
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As a volunteer, do you have anything to say about what the OTW did to bjorn?
To begin with, I’m going to speak in generalities instead of specifics. This is for a couple of reasons. 1) I’ve been on hiatus from the OTW since August because my life got extremely complicated and volunteering wasn’t something I could continue doing right now. 2) As a result of my hiatus, I was not present for any of the events that transpired. This is simply my own opinion based on the available information, so you can feel free to disagree.
Now, as to your phrasing. You say “what the OTW did to bjorn” and I ask, “What did the OTW do to them?” From the meager information I’ve seen, all of which has been provided by bjorn themselves, they left the OTW of their own accord because they were unhappy with being talked to about their behaviour. This behaviour occurred in the OTW’s chat space which, for those of you who don’t know, is the OTW’s workspace. As a fully online organization, that platform is the equivalent of their office. 
bjorn was in that shared workspace, and they set their name to include the phrase “Palestine will be free.” Later, they changed it to “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.” They were told that the first phrase made some people uncomfortable but that they were allowed to continue using it. They were told the second was unacceptable and that they should stop using it. bjorn chose to continue using the second phrasing.
Why is the second phrase seen as unacceptable? A quick google took me to the Anti Defamation League’s explanation of its antisemitism. That same google also provided me with Al Jazeera’s explanation of its complicated history. As a person who is neither Israeli nor Palestinian and as someone who hasn’t spent years studying the history of the region or the complexities of the conflict there, I’m comfortable with the idea that it’s a nuanced issue that different people will see in different ways, and I have personally decided that I should probably avoid using an expression whose interpretation varies so wildly.
Here, I will digress to remind everyone that the OTW is an international volunteer organization. That means there are volunteers there from all over the world - including Israel and Palestine. As far as I’m aware, bjorn is not from that region of the world.
So we have someone using a controversial phrase in a workplace setting where there are people who are immediately affected by the current conflict. My assumption is that they were not doing this to be intentionally aggressive. While I do recognize their name, there are nearly 1000 volunteers at the OTW so I’m afraid I don’t remember this one individual. I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt here, however, and assume that they were not calling for the eradication of all Jews.
I can also, however, understand why anyone who has seen this same phrase used as a justification for terrorist attacks would have difficulty doing the same. 
From what I saw in the original post, bjorn was given a warning about their behaviour and then a more formal letter when it continued. CCAP (Constructive Corrective Action Procedure) has a pretty dystopian sound to it, but it’s basically just a conversation between a manager (Chair) and an employee (volunteer) when the employee has kinda messed up a little bit and the manager wants to get them back on track. If the CCAP goes well, then the volunteer is back in good standing and the situation can be put behind them. It’s only if the volunteer and their Chair are unable to get things back on track that the volunteer will be asked to leave the Org. As far as I know, that’s only happened a handful of times (but I’m no expert, and I’m still on hiatus so I can’t go and try to look things up)
bjorn apparently chose option #3, which is to leave the OTW rather than go through that process. That’s a perfectly fine decision to make, and I’m sure they’re not the first volunteer to do so. It was their choice, though. The OTW didn’t kick them out. The OTW didn’t force them out. The OTW told them “this is inappropriate behaviour in an international workplace setting,” and bjorn decided to leave rather than change that behaviour.
I have nothing against bjorn, and I hope their post-OTW life is a good one. However, I've seen posts that have been using bjorn's situation as a way to claim the OTW is a “Zionist organization.” I would like to remind everyone that the OTW is an organization dedicated to the preservation of fanworks. What role do people expect the OTW to take in an international negotiation between Israel and Palestine? How many international policy volunteers do people think they have, and which committee do people think they belong to? Technical Support? Communications?
I’m trending towards sarcasm here but it’s only because I can’t quite believe that there really are people who seem to believe that the OTW - again a fanwork preservation organization - is attempting to do anything at all with regards to an international conflict. 
If anyone out there hates the OTW, I encourage them to avoid OTW’s various projects and to decline the biannual opportunities to donate, but please don't generate or share conspiracy theories. There are more than enough of them going around already.
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burst-of-iridescent · 2 months
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i've written before about how fire lady katara isn't an inherently disempowering or racist trope, as have many others, but lately i've been thinking about how arguments against fire lady katara often tend to utilise a surface-level interpretation of colonial trauma.
[edit: this post will use the term "colonial trauma" because those who argue against fire lady katara usually use the same wording or are referring to that concept. but it's important to note that according to show canon, the fire nation did not colonize the southern water tribe and zuko and katara did not have a colonizer/colonized relationship.]
antis who present this argument usually posit that marrying zuko would be a form of re-traumatization for katara, while marrying aang would "protect" her. katara is supposedly more shielded from confronting the impact of colonization in the southern water tribe or on air temple island than she would be with zuko in the fire nation, which contextualizes colonial trauma purely through the lens of physical interaction with the colonial power (ie. living in the fire nation or looking after the people of the fire nation). whether intended or not, this argument inadvertently limits colonial trauma to the geographical boundaries of the colonizing country and implies that it can be reduced or averted solely by minimizing contact with said country.
even leaving aside that we have seen katara in the fire nation (and enjoying herself there), the implication here is that active engagement with a colonial power as a member of colonized peoples is an inherent form of re-traumatization... which i take issue with for multiple reasons.
firstly, katara lives in a world that has been permanently shaped and changed by imperialism, and that's going to affect her no matter where she goes. sequestering herself in the south pole her whole life and never seeing a glimpse of fire nation red again won't allow katara to escape the legacy of colonization or the trauma it has caused her, because its influence is rooted in everything from her family to her tribe to her own bending. believe me, i understand the appeal of a world where women of colour can avoid reckoning with the impact of colonization by simply never setting foot in the colonizing country again, and why people might be uncomfortable with zutara individually as a result - but i can't accept it as a valid argument against the ship, because that's just not how colonial trauma works.
secondly, the idea that this "protects" katara reeks of paternalism because katara is not a character who chooses her path simply based on how safe or comfortable it is. if that was the case, she would never have left the southern water tribe at all! she could've remained there her whole life and likely been safe, since the fire nation had no real interest in the south pole any longer. katara is fundamentally defined by how relentlessly revolutionary she is - over and over, she chooses to do what is right, what is hard, what is unexpected, even at cost to herself. she challenges injustice and discrimination and bigotry; she fights for the downtrodden and speaks for those who can't speak for themselves; she will never ever turn her back on the people who need her. does that truly sound like someone who needs to be hid away and protected from her own supposed re-traumatization?
thirdly - and i fully accept that there are those who might disagree with this - katara actively choosing to engage with her colonial trauma can be empowering just as it can be traumatizing. don't get me wrong: as a woc and a minority in my own country, i understand how tiring it is to do this. i understand the exhaustion of confronting what was done to you and your people, of facing down bigotry over and over. i understand the desire to run away from it all, and why it can be wish fulfilment for others to let katara do so. i really, really do.
but there is also wish fulfilment in letting katara fight, as a brown girl with power and resources that few brown girls in the real world hold. there is a power fantasy in seeing katara head into the belly of the beast and emerging triumphant. there is empowerment to be found in seeing katara struggle with racism and ignorance and mindless hate to enact change - and succeed. i love reading and writing about katara unpacking her trauma regarding the fire nation, about growing to love the place she once hated, about reconciling both her homes and healing from the wounds of her childhood.
and ultimately, i think that's what katara would want for herself. after throwing herself head first into the fight against the fire nation, after facing down her greatest trauma instead of letting it consume her, after helping and protecting the people of the fire nation, after refusing to let the fire nation take anything else from her - i firmly believe that the last thing katara would do is allow herself to be ruled by the fire nation instead of being the one ruling it.
personally, i find that a more hopeful and victorious narrative than one where she remains safe and sheltered away from the fire nation, but forever haunted and dictated by her trauma. would that be realistic? perhaps. but the entire point of foiling katara with characters like jet and hama is to show that she's not doomed to be mired in the pain of her past. that where their stories could only end in tragedy, hers can - and does - end in hope for something better, as she always believed it could.
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