Jonathan Byers This Is An Intervention
“You’re not happy here.”
Jonathan looks up, startled. Will stands in the doorway with his arms crossed. They’re alone in the house, El hanging out with Max and their mom on a date with Hopper. They had to practically shove her out the door before she’d leave, rambling a list of phone numbers and where to find them, as well as reminding them where the leftovers were.
“We know, Mom,” he and Will had chorused, and permitted her to pull them down for one last kiss on the cheek before closing the door on her. Hopper just watched in amusement.
He and Will had eaten dinner before separating to work on their projects, Will with a dnd campaign idea and Jonathan cleaning his camera out. It has more dust than it should, having been sitting in his closet unused for too long. It makes something in him ache, but he can’t make himself pick it up again. There’s something blocking him.
“What?”
“You’re not happy here,” Will repeats. “In Hawkins.”
“It’s Hawkins,” he points out. Being unhappy is a given. He’s always known it sucks here, from the way people treated his mom to the rumors that always flew around when he made his way through the halls. The way they’ve treated Will. He hated this town long before interdimensional monsters factored in.
Will’s frown gets deeper. “I’m happy,” he points out. “Mom’s happy. El and Hopper are happy. We actually have friends here.”
“I have friends,” Jonathan protests, slightly offended. He and Argyle call multiple times a week. He and Nancy are still good friends, and Steve and Robin are slowly growing on him. In a surprising turn of events, Eddie is the person his age he talks to the least, but it makes sense when he thinks about it. Eddie’s brand of freak has always been loud and dramatic, half relying on shock value. Jonathan prefers the quiet.
“When was the last time you actually hung out with someone that wasn’t me?”
Is that what this is about? Something in his heart sinks at the idea that Will doesn’t think he’s enough. “I like hanging out with you. You’re the coolest person I know,” he says, shifting over and patting the bed next to him.
Will sits down with a huff that sounds very fifteen-year-old of him. He’s glad he’s getting to be a kid. “You’re not listening to me,” he complains.
“Then what are you trying to say?”
Will won’t meet his eye, suddenly nervous. “Everyone your age here is leaving,” he says quietly. “Nancy is going to Emerson soon, Steve and Robin are going to Chicago, and Eddie…uh, I don’t know his plans, exactly, he might be going with them. He’s not staying here, anyway. And Argyle is on the other side of the country. So all the people you’re friends with are leaving.”
“They are,” he agrees, laying what he hopes is a soothing hand on Will’s shoulder, “but you know I’m not leaving you, right? I’m not leaving you and Mom.”
Will squeezes his eyes shut. “Maybe you should.”
It feels like ice water being poured over his head.
Something in his stomach twists uncomfortably at the idea of calling Hopper his dad. He doesn’t know if he’s ever going to. He doesn’t even know if Hopper would want him to. But “dad” is always a word he’s associated with bruises and yelling, the stink of whiskey and a gun in his small, shaking hands. Jim Hopper, with his gruff, fumbling way affection and sweet smiles at his daughter will never fit his version of the word.
“You’re not my dad,” Will says. “You’re my older brother, you should be my brother. You should be moving away and going to college and living your life! You shouldn’t be stuck here because of me.” He seems near tears now, and Jonathan flounders. He’s always been pretty good at making Will feel better, but now it’s different. Now it’s him making his little brother upset.
Will takes a deep, stabilizing breath.
“You’re not my dad,” he says again. “You shouldn’t have to be my dad.”
“I wasn’t trying to be,” he says weakly.
“You’re doing a better job than he ever did.”
“Okay, then how should we start?”
“You could tell me why we’re always running out of tylenol.”
He didn’t even realize anyone noticed that. He’s been replacing it before it was even empty.
The words stick in his throat, reluctant to come out. But he promised. He promised he’d tell him, and he hates to break a promise to Will.
“It’s my back,” he admits. “My boss hit me with a chair, and it hurts all the time now. I used to smoke it away, but…”
He smoked a little too much. He was too reliant on it. He was being neglectful. The reasons stay on the tip of his tongue, unable to admit his shortcomings.
Unfortunately, Will takes it another way. “You stopped because of me.”
“No!”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Or Mom? We can go to the doctor now, we have insurance.”
“I know.”
“Then why didn’t you go? Why can’t you just take care of yourself?”
“It’s just a little back pain,” he defends, “it’s not a big deal.”
It’s really not. It’s practically nothing compared to what some of their friends ended up with. Will has respiratory problems, Eddie uses a cane now, Max is in a wheelchair and her eyes might never work again. Not to mention Steve’s mix of migraines, glasses, hearing loss, and scars he’s accumulated over the years that put Jonathan’s to shame. His issues pale in comparison.
“It is when you take as many painkillers as you do! You’re going to eat holes in your stomach.”
“If I get an ulcer, it’ll be because I know there’s another world out there full of things that want to kill us,” he says, poking Will in the stomach. He giggles, and then looks mad about it.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you actually happy. I feel like it’s my fault.”
What does he say to that? It can’t be your fault, because I don’t remember the last time I was happy like that? I felt like this long before you went missing? Anything he says will make him worry more.
“It’s not your fault,” he finally settles on.
“But if I hadn’t disappeared—“
“I would still feel like this,” he says, because he has to. He can’t stand the idea of Will thinking it’s his fault when the truth is that something has been wrong with Jonathan for a long, long time. “It’s not because of the Upside-Down, bud. It’s not something you can fix. I’m pretty sure I’m just…like this.”
He’s had moments of happiness, obviously. Sometimes he’ll get days, or even weeks, where he genuinely looks forward to the future. When he was in California with Argyle, he felt even better. But eventually, the heaviness in his chest always comes back. It’s just something he knows how to live with now.
Will sits up, glaring at him. “That’s bullshit!”
“It’s just how it is.”
He squares his shoulders, a telltale sign that Jonathan isn’t going to like whatever he says next. “Mom and I think you should see a therapist.”
Jonathan really doesn’t like that. “You’ve been talking to Mom about this?”
“She’s worried about you!”
“She shouldn’t be!” He’s almost offended. He’s been taking care of himself for years. He was taking care of her for years. “I’m fine! I know how to live with it!”
“I haven’t seen you smile for real in two months!”
“I’m fine!” He snaps again, and immediately regrets it. Will’s lower lip trembles.
“You’re not fine,” he says. “You’re not. Don’t lie to me, Jonathan. You just said you weren’t going to lie to me.”
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Akari doesn’t get annoyed with him.
It’s something that hits Ash one day while traveling, suddenly and unexpectedly. They’re closing in on Nimbasa City, rushing slightly to make it to civilization at long last after trekking through nature, and Ash realizes for the first time that while all of his travel companions in the past have gotten annoyed with him at some point, Akari never does. Even when he’s pretty sure he deserves it.
He doesn’t always think before he does things. He sometimes can’t word things the way he wants to. He gets impatient and can be irrational at times. It takes a really long time for lessons to stick in his head, too.
Akari never seems to mind.
It’s really strange, when he thinks about it. Because, well, he’s seen Akari get upset. She gets angry and impatient and frustrated just like anyone else. She gets downright mean when Trip is around. She very nearly loses her cool every time Bianca is within a 20 foot radius. Iris and Cilan had to hold her back from physically engaging Burgundy in an actual fistfight, once.
He’s confused. And grateful, of course, but also confused.
“Hey, Akari?”
Akari, who’s been smiling strangely ever since they boarded the subway towards the Pokémon Center, turned away from Cilan, who was gushing and clearly embarrassing himself in public. Unlike Iris, she seemed to find his behavior amusing more than anything else.
“Yeah?”
Now or never, he supposed.
“So, like... You know how sometimes I can’t, uh, remember things? Like, type weaknesses and immunities and stuff. Or genders. That sort of thing? How come you don’t get like... mad at me?”
Akari frowns.
“You mean your ADHD? Ash, I’m not gonna blame you for something you can’t control. You just learn differently from others. You get things eventually, so what’s the problem in letting you go at your own pace?”
Ash blinks.
“My AD-what?”
Akari blinks back.
“... Your ADHD?”
They stare at each other for a few moments. Akari seems to come to a realization, eyes going wide in understanding, but before anything else is said between them, the train comes to an abrupt halt.
––––
“Akari!”
Ash watches as the Subway Bosses immediately go to squeeze Akari like a grape between their arms. She’s smiling wide even as she gets lifted off the ground, wrapping her arms around each of their necks and giving them both a peck on the cheek.
“Hey, dads. I see you missed me.”
Cilan loses his cool, then. Unlike him, Ash is less surprised by who her dads are, and more surprised that her dads are brothers. She certainly never mentioned that. Then again, unless directly asked, she tends to just not say anything about herself in general, so they probably shouldn’t be too shocked. The most she ever says are vague references to things she’s done or stuff that’s happened to her, and no elaboration.
The twins turn to look at the rest of them.
“Might these be the friends you spoke so highly of, Akari?”
“Just a moment, Emmet, I believe I recognize one of these passengers!”
“Hmmm? Oh, I believe you are right, Ingo! Cilan, it is good to see you again!”
In the end, Akari stays behind to hang out with her fathers, who apparently fought for parental rights over her and settled for dual-custody. (Ash can understand that. Who wouldn’t want to have Akari as their daughter? She’s awesome.) Ash, Iris, and Cilan were dragged to the Pokémon Center soon after.
Ash promptly forgets about his previous conversation with Akari.
––––
It’s days later when Ash remembers what Akari said their first time on the subway. Lots of things have happened at that point. The ghost train, Bianca’s father trying to stop her journey, Ash winning his gym battle against Elesa.
It was Akari’s turn to battle Elesa, this time. And, as always, Ash can’t help but admire her battle prowess. She only ever uses the Pokémon she befriended on her current journey, rather than the army of buddies she got from wherever she used to live. Still, the difference in strength between the two teams seems to close rapidly every time she battles. Her strategy looks simple from the outside, hit hard and fast and don’t let up. But every move she makes is calculated. The snap of her fingers or clap of her hands indicated how the moves are supposed to be used. She predicts the opponent’s thoughts and adjusts accordingly. She’s aware of everything on the field, of everyone’s position, the terrain, the obstacles.
She looks like a Pokémon Master, in Ash’s eyes. At least, one in the making, that’s for sure. There’s something in her gaze when she battles, something that isn’t seen in her at any other time. Intense and vicious, studying and understanding.
Ash learns more from watching Akari battle than possibly any other battles he’s seen. It’s so easy for him to focus on every decision she makes, and unlike others, he can actually follow the train of thought that led her to her decisions. There’s a similarity in their way of thinking that Ash doesn’t feel with a lot of his other friends.
And it’s that thought, the similarities in their way of thinking, that gets Ash remembering.
AD-something something? Learn differently from others? Whatever she was talking about then, it seemed kind of important in some way. And not just important, either. She talked as if she had experience with Ash’s specific brand of... absentmindedness. Which is strange, because, well...
She’s amazing.
Akari naturally wins the battle and earns her badge. Nobody expected differently, honestly. Elesa least of all, considering she’s apparently known Akari since her adoption. Akari is amazing at what she does. Her battling is a perfected art. Her understanding of people and Pokémon is uncanny. And her intelligence is unparalleled. She just knows things. She knows when Team Rocket is around before anyone else. She knows instinctually when something is about to happen, whether that may be good or bad. She knows what moves her opponents are going to make, knows what to do in order to counter them.
Akari doesn’t have difficulty understanding or learning new things like Ash, as far as he could tell. She soaks up information like a sponge, seeks out knowledge and digs her claws into whatever she may find. She’s just smart like that. It’s natural.
So why was she so understanding over Ash’s... everything? Is she just kind like that? Patient? Patient isn’t a word anyone would typically use for her, but maybe she is when it concerns her friends.
When they return to the Pokémon Center, Ash takes some time to himself to do some research.
He doesn’t fully remember the acronym, but typing ADD gives him a result.
It’s a disorder. An attention disorder. The research isn’t too vast, most people tend to look at other studies when getting into science. But there’s enough that Ash can read through a list of symptoms and realize that it fits.
And Akari recognized it quickly enough that she thought it was obvious. That he would naturally know about it.
He logs off the computer and goes to get changed. He’s quiet.
––––
It’s midnight and everyone is asleep except for Ash. The knowledge that there’s a label out there that explains... so much about him and his personality, he doesn’t know exactly how he should feel about it.
Pikachu is sound asleep on a pillow beside his head. He takes extra care when crawling out of the covers, doing his best not to disturb his buddy. Once free, he crouches on the ground and slowly waddles his way toward’s Akari’s bed.
There’s a frown in her expression while she’s sleeping. Her eyes are darting to and fro behind her eyelids. Ash is struck with the realization that she may have silent nightmares. From what little he’s gleaned about her past, that... yeah, that makes sense.
“Akari?”
His whisper is soft, but it’s enough to wake her up almost immediately. A light sleeper, as always. She seems so used to sleeping out in the wild, but any small noise that seems too close tends to jolt her awake.
“Ash?” Akari squints at him, voice gravelly with sleep. “Why are you peeking over the side of my bed like a stalker?”
Ash splutters. Akari grins and he realizes that she was messing with him again.
“I’m not a stalker,” Ash grumbles. “I just... Remember when you said I had, uh. ADHD?”
Akari’s eyes light up in recognition.
“Oh. I can’t believe I forgot about that.” She stifles a yawn, slowly sitting up and scooting aside. She pats the empty space she left behind, and Ash scrambles to make himself comfortable beside her. “I’m guessing you didn’t know what that was, right?”
“I kind of do, now,” Ash admits. Akari pulls the covers over him, and it makes him feel small and vulnerable. Sometimes, she treats him a lot like a younger sibling, but not in the same way that Misty’s sisters treat her, or how May would treat Max. Sometimes it’s strange, but Ash can’t deny that he enjoys the feeling. “I checked it up before changing. There wasn’t a lot about it, but what I saw... I think it fit me?”
Akari hums, and lazily throws an arm out to wrap around Ash and pat his back. She’s very casual in showing physical affection, which is something Ash appreciates and seeks out with little to no shame. He shuffles closer and wraps his own arm around her.
“Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t be well known when there’s other things to research like Pokémon and literal human psychics.” Akari huffs, tucking Ash’s head under her chin. “Feels weird, huh?”
Ash hums in agreement. He’s beginning to feel tired, now. Being held like this, safe and secure, tends to beat out the worst of insomnia no matter how anxious or agitated he gets.
“Yeah. I never got officially diagnosed, but I think I have it too. Or something similar to it.” Akari sighs, rubbing circles along Ash’s back. “I can’t focus on things I don’t have interest in. I’m lucky in some aspects, because the things I do have interest in are things people think are important to know, right? Like. Pokémon. I love them. I want to know absolutely everything about them. I’ll focus so hard on learning about them that I’ll tune out everything.”
“I thought ADHD means you can’t focus, though?”
“Not quite,” Akari murmurs. “ADHD isn’t that you can’t focus on anything at all. It’s more like you can’t control your focus, I guess. Sometimes that means you can focus too hard on things. Like, remember when I was reading that book on historical legends while we were traveling? Cilan called my name like ten times and I still didn’t hear him because I was too focused. Ended up smacking into a tree. You get like that sometimes when it comes to Pokémon or battling, I think. It’s easy to forget about or not even listen to things we’re not interested in, right? But it’s different for things we’re passionate about.”
True. Very true. Battling and Pokémon were just so... fun. Interesting and amazing. It’s the only thing he wants to think about a lot of the time. Other stuff, though, feels more like a bunch of fuzzy stuff that he needs to shake out of his head, even though they should be considered important.
“So,” Ash whispers. “Is that why you don’t get annoyed with me when I can’t get things? Because you get like that too?”
“Huh? Oh,” Akari snorts. “Nah, people with ADHD can get annoyed with other people with ADHD, Ash. I just don’t get annoyed because I like you and consider you like a little brother.”
She leans back, giving him a full view of her mischievous grin.
“Even when you do stupid stuff, it’s very cute!”
Ash groans, face burning, and kicks her. She responds by tickling him in the sides, causing him to shriek, push back, and fall off the bed.
Iris and Cilan aren’t too happy about being woken up. Doesn’t stop Ash and Akari from laughing, anyways.
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