#woke up this morning and took a tylenol. living the life
Text
i am now older . my back hurts
#woke up this morning and took a tylenol. living the life#im going to take a gummy and watch fantastic mr fox . self care#my art#rileyclaw
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
here is a a bullet point explainer of my top surgery day (like when i was actually in the hospital) because i feel like if i had something like that i would have been less horrifically life-endingly anxious
day before:
we drove to the city it was in because we were staying with family and wanted to get settled. we left around 10 ish? in the morning and it took us 3 or so hours to get there with all the bathroom stops we made
i received a call from my surgeon's office at 10:30 in the morning giving me the time i needed to show up at the hospital. i was to show up two hours before my surgery time (5:45 am ; 7:45 am), and i was first on the schedule
we showed up at my cousin's house and got settled, i was fasting as required and took my special soap shower at around 9pm. i needed to show up at the hospital at 5:45am but my cousin lives less than 5 minutes away from the hospital so i could afford to go to bed late.
day of:
i woke up at around 2 and went back to bed at around 3:30, woke up at 4:30 and took my second hibiclens shower. i got dressed in clean clothes and we drove to the hospital at 5:30 am
we had never been to the hospital before so we fucked around and found a place to park. we walked in and were confused until we looked around and found check-in. they didn't ask for ID or insurance, just my name. they scanned my advanced directive and medical power of attorney, told me to wait in the surgery waiting area, and told me that someone wld come find me! i was also given a hospital bracelet with my real name on it not my government name which is cool.
we waited for a little bit. there were two other people there. we were all in pajamas. it was great. the waiting area was full of local indigenous art. i wish i would have taken pictures now.
a nurse called my name and verified my date of birth and that i was there for gender affirming double mastectomy. she took me and my mom back to the preop area and took me to a preop room with a bed.
i was weighed and given a urine sample cup for pregnancy testing. this sucked bc i was NPO for like 12 hours and dehydrated as fuck but if you still have a uterus and ovaries you will have to do this.
she gave me a six pack of hibiclens wipes and instructions on how to do the surgery wipe down. neck to toes. one for neck and shoulders, one for chest and torso, one for back, one for arms, one for legs, one for groin and glutes. there r details on the paper. this is recommended but not required depending on ur surgeon. u do it urself. ur nurse does not touch u.
u put on ur gown and then ur given an IV with saline. i was given an oral anti inflammatory and 1000mg tylenol with a teeny bit of water. this is when they blew the valve in my hand. i COVERED my preop nurse with blood and almost threw up. it was great.
she went over some mental health questions and some physical health questions - are u depressed when did u last eat and drink etc. they were concerned because i hadn't eaten solids since the ninth and my surgery was on the twelfth but it was okay.
they asked me who my favorite music artist was because apparently listening to your favorite music while in surgery improves recovery outcomes. i blanked and then told them my chemical romance and the 1975. i hope they enjoyed that whiplash of a mix.
i was taken down and my mom was kicked to the waiting area. the elevator broke and we had to wait. awkward.
i sat in the real preop bay and started crying. got rly nauseous. a preop nurse gave me a puke bag and opened my fluids completely. i think this is where the additional damage to my arm happened but we're not sure. she was really nice but REALLY busy. she needed help lol it was just her for four people :(
she came and verified my name and date of birth. she gave me these sleeves that squeezed my calves to prevent blood clots. she put a warming blanket on me. she gave me consent forms to sign. she moved me to a private corner so my surgeon could draw guidelines on my chest. she put a scopolamine patch behind my ear and then dipped to do more work. love her
my anesthesiologist came by. she asked me my pronouns - the only person to do so (they're charted but still)! she checked my heart and lung sounds and complimented my lung capacity. she asked me what my fears were regarding anesthesia and told me that i was safe with her. she read over my consent and my preop EKG i got in weeks prior. she said that she considers me zero risk and that she is unconcerned which was a big calm down moment. she went to go do pre surgery things.
my surgeon came by. he unhooked my warm blanket and had me stand up so he could draw lines on my chest. he double checked my consent papers and then put me back under my warming blanket and gave me my puke bag back and then went to go do pre surgery things.
about 10 minutes later i was being wheeled into the surgery room. this is around 7:45am. it was actually REALLY close to preop. and it was very cold.
they had me put myself on the table. i was introduced to the rest of the surgery staff. they were literally all women. so cool. my head was going to be sitting on this jello bundt cake looking thing. i laughed and pointed that out. then i got hooked up to an oxygen mask by the anesthesiologist and it smelled like playdough. i commented on that and she laughed and that's the last thing i remember before
i woke up! i was groggy as fuck. first words out of my mouth in recovery were "oh that's exciting, i woke up" and the recovery nurse looked Very Concerned. she was nice to me. she also sprinted when i asked for a puke bag.
i was there for about two hours. one asleep, one awake. they needed to watch me eat and not throw up and i Succeeded and i also needed a bed to return to, which they didn't have.
my surgeon came by to check on me, said i did great! i don't remember much of this.
i went back to the same preop wing at, like, noon-thirty ish. i got to see my mom at one. my postop nurse was a SAINT. he monitored my immediate pain levels and the instant it got above a four he tried to get me pain medication, but was stonewalled by my surgeon.
he got me more food. i had like 12 ounces of apple juice and some cheese and crackers. he let me look at his tattoos and he told me stories while we waited for my mom and for discharge papers.
we got discharge papers, i got dressed mostly by myself. mom gave me my phone back so i could text my friends that i was alive. mom was also handed a 10 pack of gauze with nipple cut outs and we were told to open my swelling reduction binder and change them out once a day.
i was also instructed to empty my JP drains once or twice a day depending on fluid level and given urinalysis cups to empty them into. i never got more than 12mls out of them so this wasn't an issue
you just kind of pop them open and let the oily blood drain out and shake them a little and then squeeze and close them again. yes u can feel it sucking when u close it. it's not painful just weird.
then we went back to my cousin's house! and i devoured a burger and slept kinda shitty
i was up and walking normal same day. i got up slow and did circles around her living room. it was helpful.
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chapter 7
Word count :2393
Warning ⚠️ mentions of alcohol ,vomit if I kiss. Anything let me know thank you 🙏
The first day of Spring break starts today and I have nothing planned for the whole week other than to stay home watch movies,get drunk and cry while drinking and Eddie is probably going to be making fun of me the whole time and probably make have something to say about the movie choice I had for the day .
Talking about Eddie, where is he?
Haven't seen him since this morning. I woke up to him watching me sleep then he disappeared when he saw that i open my eyes .He was laying next to me and as soon as he saw that I saw him he dispersed into thin air .
To be honest I didn't find it creepy at all .
I know I should but the poor guy has nothing to do and he can't sleep. I would have done the same thing if I was a ghost in a coma .
I wonder how Eddie does that ?
Being in a coma then being a ghost is so confusing or maybe I'm just seeing things that aren’t really there and Eddie is just a figment of my imagination.
Or maybe I'm crying thinking I'm talking to a metalhead, a really hot metalhead.
But I mean I see him. I talk about myself. He tells me about himself .How could I be crazy and actually finding out everything he tells me its truth.Aaaahh I'm getting a migraine just thinking about it .
Maybe I just imagined everything .
I can’t deal with this right now. I need to take some pills for this awful headache .
I head over to the kitchen to take some tylenol and like i have nothing to do
Today or tomorrow or the next .Wow, I have a boring life . I might as well do laundry and change the sheets from my bed and clean the apartment now that i have time and maybe order some chinese later,
Uuuu chicken fried rice and some jalapeno chicken yup that's what i'll order and maybe some sushi and two of those triangle sushi looking things.
Before starting cleaning I headed downstairs to grab some breakfast and a coffee then headed back to the apartment to eat my breakfast then clean .
And that's what i did,
i put the laundry in the washer and while it was washing i decided to clean my closet that it had a mess and so i did i ended up putting all my clothes by color like black with black pink with pink dresses with dresses you get the idea of what i did and when i was done I started on the living room to sweep and mop but first i connected my phone to my bluetooth speaker i mean you need music while cleaning if not it gets boring.i put it on shuffle and started sweeping the apartment then after awhile i stopped to get myself a drink a drink meaning a bottle of wine i had on my fridge cold waiting for me to drink it.
I grabbed a glass from the top cabinet and poured myself some wine and chugged it. It was so cold just how I like it and one thing led to another. I was halfway down the bottle and still haven't mopped at all. Now here I was sitting down on the couch with the bottle in one hand taking small sips while I listened to music .
I stood up and went upstairs to my room to grab a scrunchie to put my hair up in a bun then stop when I saw a picture of Eddie I had found while cleaning the back of the closet .
He was wearing a black dio shirt. He must have been younger in that picture around 19 was my guess.
I took the picture and a piece of tape and tape it in my squishmallow i dont know what the fuck i was doing i was too drunk to function properly right now.
But i think i just tape a picture of Eddie in my damn stuffed animal that i hug at night and sometimes use it as a pillow.
And now here I am staring at it and smiling like a damn fool.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
I grabbed my squismallow, hugged it tight and Now I was heading downstairs to the living room when the song changed..
play"CHERRY" LANA DEL REY
Cherry by LANA DEL REY started playing and it hit me right in my heart.I walked over to the kitchen where i had left the bottle of wine and I chugged the last of the wine.
"Do you like that song ?"I asked the stuffed animal with Eddie's picture tape to it.
"Come on sweetheart i just like metal music you should know that."i did a terrible impersonation of Eddie and that made me giggle a lot because i know eddie would say something like that.
Yeah, I was drunk.
I placed the squishmallow in the sofa gently as if it was really Eddie and
started swaying my body to the music and singing to the lyrics of lana .
I glanced at my squishmallow and smiled.
"Dance with me Eddie."I slurred and took the poor squishmallow in my arms and started dancing with it like a crazy person .
"Sweetheart you're such a good dancer." I once again did a really bad impersonation of Eddie making me giggle.
I'm sorry but I drank a whole bottle of wine so now I was singing to the plushie with the picture of Eddie and crying to the lyrics .I was on that stage of my drunk self where I got sentimental.
"" Darlin', darlin', darlin'
I fall to pieces when I'm with you, I fall to pieces
My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme
And all of my peaches (are ruined)"
I spun around with my plushie squishing it in my chest and now I was crying even more . I don't even know why but I was .
I guess I got in my feelings.
I kept dancing, swaying to the music well. I thought I was dancing but I probably look like a crazy person singing so out of tune and hugging my damn squishmallow that had a picture of Eddie tape to it.
My rose garden dreams, set on fire by fiends
And all my black beaches (are ruined)
My celluloid scenes are torn at the seams
And I fall to pieces (bitch)
I fall to pieces when I'm with you
'Cause I love you so much, I fall to pieces
My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme
And all of my peaches
When Lana sings "CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH"i look at my squishmallow with the picture of Eddie and sing to him like if it really was Eddie dancing with me Right now that i was drunk i could honestly say that I had fallen for that metalhead .
Tomorrow I might deny it but right now I won't.
And the next thing I knew was that I was kissing his picture without noticing that Eddie was sitting down on the couch with an amused smile .
"Ok now i see why you keep it in your bed ,Do you guys need some alone time?"I heard him say ,I instantly hid the squishmallow behind my back so Eddie wouldn't see the picture I was kissing .
-"W-when d-did you get here?"I slurred my words. I was trying my damn best not to seem like I was drinking but I don't think I was doing such a great job because
I kept stumbling even though I was standing in place staring at Eddie with wide eyes.
He is going to think I'm a weird person for kissing his picture..I thought to myself.
"Sweetheart, are you drunk?"He stood up from the couch and slowly approached me .My instant reflex was to hide the stuffed animal behind my back,I couldn't let him see it, not today or ever.
"No." I lied and tried to move away from him but I ended up tripping .
"You sure?"he tilted his head to the side and smiled wickedly and the next thing I know he is holding the damn squishmallow and raising it up high on his hand so I wouldn't reach it .
I jumped trying to snatch it from him but I was too drunk and kept stumbling so I just gave up and just sat down flat on the floor with my hands covering my face .I just let it happen
This is the night I die of embarrassment.
RIP Aria Avila.
To my mother I leave my shoes and to my best friend Clarissa Carver I leave all my clothes and makeup.
"Ari?"Eddie's voice gets me out of my head .
"yes."I said softly. I opened my fingers that where covering my eyes to see where Eddie was.
And to my surprise He was sitting down in front of me criss cross looking at me with that stupid smirk .
"There she is ,"he smiles. "Yes , here I am Eddie dying of embarrassment.I couldn't even look at him right now. I felt o stupid and embarrassed. That was the weirdest thing I ever did and he saw it.
"Don't look at me ,"i blushed closing the gap between my fingers
"Hey don't hide from me ,it was cute you dancing around ."he coo,
How was that cute ? i thought to myself
I slowly lowered my hands from my face to face reality.I look at Eddie who had my stuffed animal in his hand but it didn't have the picture the tape was there but not the picture .I stood up fast from the floor looking around frantically for the picture that was just tape on the damn stuffed animal.
"What are you looking for?"Eddie asked standing right next to me,
I didn't answer and got on my knees and started crawling looking under the sofa.
"I mean i don't mind the view sweetheart ."Eddie chuckled and I turned to look at him holding the picture of himself in his hand"where you looking for this?"that asshole had the picture all this time and he didn't tell me while i was looking for it like a crazy person.
"Yes' 'i gulp.i don't know if it was because i was caught kissing a stuffed animal with a picture of the guy i'm crushing on the guy being eddie and he saw everything or the alcohol because my stomach wasn't feeling too good right now.
I felt all the food from the morning coming right back up mixed with the alcohol and that wasn’t a good sign so I ran to the restroom emptying my stomach into the toilet.Jesus Christ how I hate throwing up. I hate it so much. I hate the smell. I hate the way my stomach feels when I'm throwing up. I hate everything about it.
I should have eaten first before drinking all that bottle.
I'm never drinking again.
I don't know if that's true but I'll believe myself for today.
Just for today .
"Here drink."i heard Eddie’s voice from behind me
"Eddie don't look at me i look disgusting."i also smell disgusting.I look disgusting.Drool falling down my lips mix with my vomit .
Jesus, I am in a bad state. I need to get a hold of myself .
I got up slowly, Feeling a little
Bit dizzy maybe not just a little but a lot the whole room was spinning so I close my eyes and walk blindly over to the sink which wasn’t a far distance for.But for me it still felt like I had walk miles I started by washing my mouth in the sink.I open my eyes to take a peak of myself and Eddie was gone,but he had left a bottle of water on the counter. He was getting so much better at picking things up and it scared me.It really scared me so fucking much .
I drank the whole bottle of water and decided to shower hoping I felt so much better.Walking over to the shower was the hardest thing I’ve ever done after failing attempts to walk I crawled over until I reached the glass door and open it enough so I could go in.I reach over to turn on the water making sure it was the right temperature.I don’t know how I did it had my eyes close doing everything blindly I took of my clothes tossing it out.i got up slowly to fix the water temperature but failed miserably and somehow the water started getting to a warm temperature that wasn’t too hot nor to cold and I know who might have done that but my head was spinning so much to open my eyes .
“Thank you Eddie .” I said softly
“I’ll be waiting for you outside Ari .” Was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep on the floor of the shower .
I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping in the shower floor but I was rudely awoken By Eddie screaming in my ear .
“Eddie .” I whisper I open one eye to see him standing over me trying his best to pick me up .
“I’m sorry I swear I didn’t want to see but you took a long time and I came to check on you and you were on the floor .” I heard him say but I was too drunk to care right now that I was naked curled up in a ball on the shower floor .
Somehow I managed to get out of the shower and dried myself up and wrapped the towel around my body and headed upstairs to sleep.My eyes where Half open but I knew Eddie was following making sure I was ok .When I reached upstairs I took off my towel tossing it to the ground I had totally about Eddie being on back of me until I heard him gasp "Jesus Christ!!" right now i didn't care. I had a massive headache and I know tomorrow I’m going to regret it so i got in my bed completely naked and got under the covers closing my eyes .
“Goodnight Eddie .” I remember saying
"You're gonna be the death of me."I heard Eddie say before drifting to sleep....
Next chapter
0 notes
Text
Any of my ladies ever had a UTI? What did it feel like for you? I know everyone’s body is different but I waited in the ER for 3hrs and still had another 3hr+ wait so I just went home 🫠
I woke up feeling like I had a period cramp this morning, even though my period ended last week and I haven’t had one since I got my iud 2 years ago. I took Tylenol at one point and it didn’t work so a few hours later I took Advil at my friends house and tried to take a nap but the pain was so strong I couldn’t fall asleep. 45 mins later I went pee then out to the living room to talk to my friend about how I was feeling, and then I felt like my kidney was being ripped from my body. I have a high pain tolerance but never in my life have I keeled over and cried from such immense pain so I went to the ER. The pain has since subsided but I still feel uncomfortable. I am going to get ahold of my family doctor in the morning but like, holy mother of fuck idk what happened today.
Send halp 😩
1 note
·
View note
Text
My Bout with COVID
I received COVID vaccines in early 2021 and a single booster about six months later. I did not have a second booster shot. During this summer of 2022, I experienced a breakthrough case of COVID. Here is what happened.
Day 1
I knew I had been exposed. I didn't care. I wasn't about to compromise on my lifestyle because of public pronouncements about infection rates, Omicron variants, and hospitalization numbers. I had my life, and however simple it was, it pleased me.
I went out for a morning swim, in part to deal with a crick in my back, but mostly to enjoy the soothing rhythms of the pool. What is it about water? I cannot quite say.
I started slow. The crick in my back muscles subsided. As I picked up my pace, my breathing seemed more strained. Certainly I was not hobbled, but I knew COVID was a respiratory illness, and the strained breathing concerned me.
I left the pool after completing 60% of my normal routine, and had a good day.
Day 2
I knew unequivocally now that I was living with someone with COVID. There was no question about my exposure. It was certain, and I expected to be infected at some point, but with my health and vaccinations, I figured the probabilities of anything significantly bad happening were small.
I woke up after a sound sleep with a very mild headache. I was going to have a nice morning run, COVID be damned. It was early enough that I saw a beautiful sunrise. I finished the run with my best time of the summer. The headache was gone, I had a good day, and I now felt supremely confident that whatever public threats COVID posed, it was scarcely a footnote in my personal health.
Day 3
I woke up again with that mild headache gnawing at the center of my head. I figured the headache resulted from dehydration, caffeine dependency, or some combination thereof. I finished some morning chores, and went out for some windsprints. I say windsprints ... ah, were the fleeting days of youth repeatable. I ran as I could. My breathing again was strained, but I completed my workout.
The morning went ok, but a certain fatigue started to set in. By afternoon, I was tired. By evening, I had fever.
Day 4
I did not sleep all night. I wasn't about to take Tylenol or anything else. Maybe that was foolishness, but that's how I coped with almost all of my illnesses.
I had a skimpy appetite, but did manage to eat something. I lay in bed all day.
Day 5
A light fever and headache plagued me through the night. I decided at 1 or 2am, that between no sleep and Tylenol, that I probably ought to take my chances with Tylenol. I took two tablets of Extra Strength, and slept about four hours.
I started to experience some congestion in my chest. There was light, intermittent coughing. My fatigue was uncomfortable, but I could still move around, still watch clips of Michael Jordan or Magic Johnson -- a game I loved but could never play quite well enough.
I spoke with a friend. I started to worry. Was it possible COVID vaccinations and natural immunities would not fend off this illness? I perused a link from Yale Medical School about guidelines for taking anti-viral medications for COVID. As cynical as it sounds, I couldn't bring myself to concur what Yale doctors advised in the article. I didn't get this far by following conventional wisdom.
But was my ego getting in the way? Was I wrong? Was it possible -- however remote -- that I could end up in the hospital, where things could get considerably more ugly?
It was getting late. According to the Yale article, I had a 5-day window to act. If I didn't take anti-virals by then, COVID could get out of hand -- really out of hand.
I self-tested with one of the rapid, at-home COVID testing kits. I did not have to wait the requisite 15m; the "T" turned purple within seconds.
As night approached, I was able to find some anti-virals from a recently recovered neighbor. Still, I dreaded the idea -- dreaded the prospect that I should have to ingest something alien to my body.
I had taken another pair of Tylenol in the afternoon, but as night set in, fatigue, fever, headache and cough stifled my sleep. Worry now -- an altogether new dimension of my condition -- lurked in the backdrop.
At 11.00pm, I took Tylenol.
The anti-virals required something like a 5-day program, with dosages in the morning and evenings. But was it possible I just needed an edge on COVID, a small enough advantage that my natural immunities would kick in and eventually win? Maybe I did not need a 5-day program -- how dreadful.
At 11.30pm, after some crackers, I caved and finally took a single dose of the anti-viral medications.
The medications left me wired the rest of the night. I was entirely sleepless. The closest experience to what I felt was nearly 20 years ago in Africa when I accidentally ingested two doses of an anti-malarial prophylaxis. My body was nearly shaking.
Day 6
The initial dose of anti-virals not only left me sleepless, it left me nauseated for 12 hours. But something happened. I experienced a first body sweat -- maybe at 2am -- then another body sweat maybe at 4-5am, and then a much lighter body sweat around 6am. I woke up dehydrated, but decisively less congested. I had turned a corner.
Recovery
In the ensuing days, I refused to take any more anti-virals. Fever and headache subsided, but I contended with chest congestion that seemed to peter out gradually over 10+ days. Eventually, I started running again, but it was clear I was weaker, and the running fatigued rather than invigorated me.
Weeks passed, and life resumed.
August 20, 2022
0 notes
Text
You felt pain when you woke up. There was a pounding in your head, your joints ached, and you needed the sun to tone itself down. What time was it? Looking over the couch to the clock in the microwave, you saw that it was a bit after ten. Your first class was at eleven so you were in perfect shape to start the day--or at least you would be if your hangover would go away.
“How ya feelin’?” Spinner asked from the kitchen table.
“Like crap.” You sauntered over to the kitchen and rested your head down on the table. “Is there coffee?”
“Water before coffee,” he instructed. “Then food and then pain killers. In that order. Do not argue with me.”
You let out a tired groan.
He set a glass of tap water next to your head. “You could always do the Dabi method but I’d advise against that.”
You scoffed. “What’s the Dabi method?”
“Drink more beer to keep the headache down. Can’t get hungover if you keep drinking.”
You barked out a laugh but had to coil back as your head started to throb again. “Does he really do that?”
Spinner shrugged. “He did in freshman year I think. But he’s really calmed down since then.”
“How so?” You took another sip.
Spinner shrugged, thinking back to the way his housemate was when he met him. “He used to get in fights everyday with the people who lived on his dorm floor. He was also into harder shit back then, not just weed.”
You gulped. You had no idea. You just thought that people were intimidated by his exterior.
“I know he has a bad relationship with his family, or at least with his dad, but I don’t think I know enough to talk about it.”
You nodded and stood up to pour yourself a cup of coffee.
“He’s definitely an interesting guy though. I think Toga really helped calm him down. I’m pretty sure she’s the only reason he’s passes all of his classes.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” you chided. After taking a few sips of coffee, you could feel your head calm down a bit. Still, you forced yourself to stomach down a granola bar before popping a few Tylenol.
“Make sure to keep drinking water throughout the day,” Spinner nagged as you were getting ready to step out the door. “I’m fucking serious about that, Y/n. I don’t care if you’re in the middle of class, fill up your fucking water bottle and stay hydrated.”
“Okay, dad,” you laughed.
He rolled his eyes and punched your arm. “Knock ‘em dead, kiddo.”
You both let out a staggering laugh before you slipped on your shoes and walked towards campus.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
You were gone when Dabi woke up, which he was thankful for. He didn’t want to deal with any awkward hellos or “how was your break?” When he got out of bed it was past noon, he had missed his first class, and the coffee from that morning was cold.
His head was pounding but not in the same way yours was. He wasn’t hung over, just stressed from the past few weeks. His visit home was as shitty as he expected it to be.
Natsuo was gone and Shoto went to a private boarding school, so it was just him, his sister, and his dad. It was nice seeing his sister, of course, but after one night of catching up he was sick of it. There was never anything new happening in his life to tell her and it made him feel inferior.
His dad was a whole other can of worms. The constant nagging and comparing of his son’s life to his own was already too much to handle, but the bastard wouldn’t even let him visit his mom in the hospital while he was there.
Thinking about home was always a pain, and staying an extra night just to get away from you nearly broke him. Texting with Toga and going to bars was his only escape, and that amounted to nothing.
He was happy to be back at school, even if he barely attended his classes and was constantly driven up the walls by his roommates.
He told Toga and Shigaraki he’d meet them at the library, but he figured he’d bail. Instead, he’d go to what was supposed to be his second class of the day and then maybe open one of those hookup apps he hasn’t used in ages.
Dabi never really liked using apps like Tinder because of how fabricated everyone’s profiles were. Someone could seem so confident based on the pictures they posted of themselves, but in real life they would be meek little things that would want to take it slow. And Dabi always said he never had the time to hold someone’s hand.
He sat on the sofa in the living room, his feet propped up on the coffee table, and he swiped through each profile mercilessly. He didn’t want to think about school or the people he lived with or the people he was supposed to consider his family. All he wanted was a drink and a fuck. This week couldn’t end soon enough.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
You were in the library with Uraraka and Midoriya, sitting in your usual spot two seats away from the window. Instead of your usual homework in front of you, however, a pile of note cards with potential job interview questions was spread out in front of you.
“Isn’t this a little excessive?” Midoriya asked.
Uraraka chuckled because out of all the people asking that question, it should not have been him. “I think he’s right, (Y/n).”
“I just want to be prepared.” Your hands shook as you frantically tried numbering each card.
“You know, there is such a thing as being too prepared.” Uraraka picked up one of the cards and mumbled a soft, “what’s even the point of numbering them?” to herself.
“I know I probably look crazy to you.” You set your pen down and cracked your knuckles. “But I need to get out of my current job.” Your voice broke ever so slightly as you expressed the gruesome details of waitressing and dealing with angry customers and how much pain your feet are in every night after bouncing from table to table to register to kitchen and doing it all over again.
“I’m sorry your job sucks.” Midoriya reached over to squeeze your hand. “We’ll be with you every step of the way in getting this new position!”
“Yeah,” Uraraka cheered on. However, her words did not match the expression on her face. She looked like she was holding something in, something she’s been meaning to say for a while. “You know,” she started. “I was kind of worried when you said you were moving out of the dorms after only one semester.”
“Aww,” you chided. “Did you think you’d never see me again?”
“Kind of.” Her rosy cheeks grew even redder.
“But we have so many classes together.” You laughed but her face only grew dimmer.
Midoriya also looked away from you, and you had a feeling that the two of them held similar fears.
“But when you said you were going to join a house full of strangers that you found on a school message board post, I was really worried. I wasn’t sure if they were criminals or drug lords or alcoholics or murderers!”
You laughed internally at the thought of someone as sweet as Jin or as antisocial as Shigaraki murdering someone. Toga and Dabi you could understand, but none of your other roommates.
“But,” a small smile began to form on her face, “when we met them yesterday, I was really happy that you seemed to find a group of people you connected with.”
“Yeah,” Midoriya piped in. “Some of them are a little intimidating.” A blush spread across his freckled face and you knew he was thinking about Toga. “But they all seem like they’re really great. We’re both really happy for you, (Y/n).”
You couldn’t stop the smile that was quickly spreading across your face even if you tried. You reached out to grab each of their hands in your own. “I’m sorry I worried you. And thank you for telling me this. I really love my roommates, but I really love you guys too.”
Midoriya reached over your chair and wrapped his arms around you. Uraraka also reached over the table to join in a group hug. With this much warmth and love from your friends, you felt as if you were unstoppable.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
You were writing a report that night when it happened. You were at your desk when you heard the muffled noise of the sticky front door opening wide and slamming shut, and shuffling feet coming up the stairs. Then there was a louder noise as Dabi’s bedroom door, the one right next to yours, swung open and slammed shut.
You didn’t think much of it until you heard the giggling. And then there was the sucking.
You slapped a hand over your mouth as you realized what was happening. You had never been subjected to hearing Dabi’s hookups before. You usually fell asleep beforehand or he would go back to the other person’s place. Hearing this now only made you want to kill the building’s contractor for making the walls paper thin.
Soon enough, the sucking turned into harsh moans. You had to clamp your legs together and squeeze your eyes shut. You tried to picture anything else, but your fantasy of handing in your letter of resignation was torn away by the shrill, “yes, baby. Harder, harder, harder,” coming from the next room.
She was a screamer, that was for sure. You leaned your head down on your desk and stuffed a pillow over your head to muffle the noise, of which there was a lot. Every moan and groan made your stomach knot up. The squeak of the bedsprings quickened and you wouldn’t have been surprised if the bed collapsed out from under them.
“Cum inside me, baby.”
Your eyes started to sting.
“Please, baby, please. Cum for me!”
This was purely pornographic. You urged yourself to stop listening but you couldn’t. You didn’t want to hear her screams and the slurping sounds and Dabi’s deep chuckle that used to make you feel all funny and twisted up on the inside.
Once the springs had stopped squeaking and it seemed as though they wouldn’t start again, you lifted your head up off the desk. Your shaky hands went to close your laptop. You’d finish the report in the morning.
Standing up, your wobbly legs made their way over to your full length mirror. You didn’t expect your face to be so blotchy and your eyes to be so bloodshot. You hadn’t realized that you were crying as you heard their grinding and squeaking and “yes baby please cum for me baby.” Why were you crying?
Even if they weren’t going to go a second round, you didn’t think you’d be able to fall asleep that night.
Previous | Masterlist | Next
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dadzawa x F! Reader - Over Worked & Tired Part 2
After your shower which made you feel a little better than before as the act of cleaning the accruing sweat and radiating germs from your body. Your next step was hoisting yourself out of the shower base and to a position you can dry your body and get dressed. This would be an awfully awkward thing for your teacher to help you with, so this task left you on your own.
It took a little bit of time and effort but eventually, you did manage to dry your body. The next step was to put the fresh clothes Aizawa left for you on your body, they were definitely comfortable and comforting. This took a little less bit of energy but still took a lot. After sitting for a moment on the seat on the toilet you stood up to face your weakness and the overpowering world spinning.
You open the door to the bathroom quietly and slowly make your way down a hallway holding on to the wall for added support. It wasn’t long until you heard the quick steps of your professor coming from what you could assume was the kitchen in order to give you added support and led you over to a couch already made with pillows and a new blanket which made you frown slightly.
In your moment of help, you couldn’t help feeling a little guilty, “Y/N, you should have gotten my attention, and I would have been helped you sooner so you didn’t exert nearly as much energy and strength.”
Picking up on your frown Azaiwa said, “it’s just in the wash, I figured it would help and it would make it a little softer. Same thing with your clothes”
“Oh okay, thanks,” you responded weakly.
He stood in front of you and crouched down to your sitting level, “Do you think you could eat a little soup for me kid? It’s chicken noodle so it’s going to be easy on you. I know you’re not the biggest rice fan.”
Aware that you hadn’t eaten in a few days you responded, “Yeah I can try.”
As he walks away you begin to acknowledge how cold you feel but you know it’s a drawback of your fever. Truthfully you didn’t want to eat anything, what you wanted was to curl up in that blanket and sleep, but you weren’t about to let Azaiwas cooking efforts go to waste, and you putting it off any longer probably wouldn’t help your case either, so complying seemed like your best option here. In your slowed thinking you hadn’t realized Azaiwa was just arriving in front of you holding two bowls preparing to hand one to you.
You took the bowl with the spoon in it and were surprised to see your teacher taking a seat in front of you on the floor looking up at you with his own soup which confused you slightly. Had you not been sick and unable to concentrate or focus you may be able to comprehend what he was doing.
“I figured you wouldn’t want to eat by yourself, makes it a little less awkward, plus I’m a little hungry myself,” he said in his gruff normal monotone voice.
“Thanks for that, it actually means a lot,” you replied before taking a spoonful of the soup and eating it.
The meal took place in silence, you slowly eating your chicken noodle soup not wanting to rush yourself as you weren’t really all that hungry plus it felt like a lot of food. As Azaiwa eats his own he examines you in your sick form, He couldn’t help but feel responsible for this, he did push his students as far as they could but he didn’t see just how much he was taking and pushing Y/N. He tried not to show favoritism among his students, but he couldn’t help but care for you as though you were his own child. Really he just wanted you to be happy.
Spooning soup into his mouth, he began to think about the information he had read in your file over the years. He knew that your home life wasn’t all that great. Evidence that you were often left alone for days alone with no real-life knowledge of how to take care of yourself and a house. Your mom was an alcoholic and would have repeating men over that would verbally abuse you, and you did live with anxiety and major depression, but you didn’t know that he knew, all because it was in your student file. He remembered that he is going to have to do some updating to it now that he knows symptoms of the overuse of your quirk.
He noticed you had put your bowl in your lap looking down as though you were deep in thought, perhaps even getting down on yourself. Until he saw that you managed to eat only half the soup he had given you. As he quickly finished his bowl he then proceeded to stand up and gently take the bowl from you.
“Hey kid, it’s alright, you managed to eat something, we can do this again later when you feel up to it okay? I’m proud you made it this far.”
You looked up at him and nodded slightly to demonstrate your agreement on the matter.
After taking them back to his kitchen and in the sink the teacher sighed, he knew you felt terrible, but he was hoping for a little improvement on this, but this just showed you were working on it. He walked back into the living room and saw you still in the same position as before just sitting in a dazed state, but now he noticed your visible shivering from the fever you no doubt had. He put a hand on your forehead and once again you leaned into is getting a little bit of pleasure from the coldness to you. What he noticed was that you felt warmer than you had before and sighed.
He walked away and headed to the bathroom and into a medicine cabinet. He grabbed a thermometer and ibuprofen and Tylenol, unsure of what would help the circumstances more. Once he got back to you he crouched down in front of you again as you hugged yourself giving the illusion of creating a little warmth.
“Y\N, I need you to open your mouth and stick this under your tongue so I can check your temperature, okay? See what we’re working with.”
As it beeped he discovered the results were very undesirable, 102.4 degrees Fahrenheit, starting to get into dangerous levels. The time was approximately 6:00 in the morning and right about now would usually be preparing to train you in combat before classes for the day, but today is different for the obvious reasons. The teacher sighed as he debated on the blanket or not, but it would make you more comfortable so he left it for you,
“Alright, kid, why don’t you lay down and get some sleep. You’re staying here for the time being at least until I deem you well enough to go back to your dorm. Now, what works better for a fever reducer for you, ibuprofen or Tylenol?” he said and asked as he held the bottles up.
After releasing a small cough you responded with, “Tylenol works better for me.”
And with a quick motion, he took two out of the bottle and handed them to you take along with a bottle of water. You gave him a small smile of gratitude. And after you swallowed he set the bottles down and helped guide you to laying down knowing that to you, you must feel incredibly heavy and weak. Started with your upper body making sure your head hit the pillow, then helped lift your legs onto the cushions. He proceeded to take the blanket and placing it on top of your frame to provide that extra bit of comfort.
“Why don’t you close your eyes and get some sleep kid. I’ll be here when you wake up, if I’m not in here directly find a way to let me know.”
“Okay Mr. Azaiwa, but what about classes today, shouldn’t you be there instead of here taking care of silly old me?” you said with a small laugh that leads to a coughing fit.
“Don’t worry about it Y/N, I’ll figure it out, right now you are my priority. Now go to sleep little one”:
And with that, you closed your eyes and your breathing slowed as you snuggled into the couch and pillow while wrapping yourself in the provided blanket. He sighed and took another look at the time, Roughly a quarter after 6. He knew Present Mic would be around in a little over an hour and a half as the human alarm clock with his projecting voice for teachers and students. He knew he was going to have to stop him this time since he knew you really needed the uninterrupted sleep and he knew it was essential to getting you healthy. In the meantime, he decided it was in his best interest to take a small nap and unwrapped one of his many sleeping bags and laid down in it on the floor next to you.
In about an hour and 15 minutes he woke up and got up to wait in the hallway to see Present Mic and ask him to not do his normal routine and explain the situation. Later in the day, he had plans to retrieve your laptop to email your professors at the American college and also speak to principle Nezu to alert him of the situation at hand, also he was supposed to alert him anytime a modification was to be made to a students file.
After a few more minutes Present Mic exited his room and was surprised to see his friend already out of his room and headed over to him.
“Hey Hizashi, anyway I can talk you out of doing your normal wake up routine?” Azaiwa asked.
“I mean sure, but why?” the other teacher proceeded to ask.
“I’ve got a very sick student crashing on my couch right now. She has been overworking herself and been trying to function on next to no sleep and forgot to eat in the mix of it. I brought her back here to keep an eye on her.”
“It wouldn’t happen to be Y/N would it? She’s the American girl also working on her college degree right?” Hizashi asked.
“Yeah, that’s the student. I guess she at the end of the semester and is struggling a bit. I think she’s also been depending on her quirk more and has been overusing it. Speaking of which, you know how the symptoms of that were missing from her student file? Well, I finally found out tonight.”
“Well shit man, what are they?”
“From the information, she gave me they are usually a lack of focus, occasional headache, and often night terrors and the extra fatigue. I’ll be going to Nezu here in a bit since it will be a modification to her file.”
“Alright man, I’ll spread the news to ask I wake the other teachers up.”
“Thanks for that Hizashi, and would you mind helping out covering my classes today. I want to keep a close eye on the kid. Has a fever of 102 degrees and is really struggling,” Awaiza asked to hope for the best.
“Yeah no problem Shota, just take care of the kid and let me know if you need anything else from me,” and with that, he walked off to start his morning wake-up calls.
With this taken care of, he proceeded to walk back into the apartment and see Y/N still sleeping soundly and decided to crawl back into his sleeping back, hoping to achieve some sleep himself, as he too needed some sleep in order to help her.
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#aizawa#shota aizawa#aizawa shota#dadzawa#anime#short stories#myheroacademia#my hero academia short story#boku no hero academia short stories#bnha#mha#aizawa father#aizawa teacher#easerhead#earserhead story
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
Betrayal Part 5
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: (AU) Set in New York. You and Bucky have been married for 5 years. He’s the love of your life and you are his. At least, you thought you were until he started slipping away from you, coming home late and smelling of another woman’s perfume? You are in denial. Are you just losing your mind or are you really losing him?
Author’s notes: Hello guys! For those who want to get tagged, please just message me in my ask. Without further ado, here is Part 5. Hope you’re all ready :D
Warnings: Cheating, Angst
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
“Come on, pick up pick up,” Y/N said into the phone as she called Bucky. She looked at Lizzie who whimpered in her sleep, her fevered skin flushed. Immediately after her argument with him, she stormed to their room and locked the door. She didn’t care where he slept anymore. Whether he stayed on the couch, or went back to his mistress, that was all up to him. She wasn’t going to tolerate this, she couldn’t even if she wanted to. The fact that he couldn’t even face her, couldn’t even look her in the eye and tell her the truth was the tipping point. She married a coward. She thought they could fix this, but how could it be fixed when no one wanted to face the truth? She’s had enough. Her love wasn’t enough to fix this marriage and she would choose herself and her daughter before he drowned them both. She had finally decided, come tomorrow morning, she’d take Lizzie with her and figure out how they would go from there. She promised herself tomorrow she would be strong but tonight, tonight’s my time to grieve.
She couldn’t help her nagging suspicion to check downstairs to see if he had actually stayed. It wouldn’t have mattered either way but she wanted to know. Her padded footsteps across the dark, empty living room floor solidified her suspicion.
She married a coward.
She picked up their wedding photo on the table by the couch, hardly recognizing the two people madly in love staring back at her. Since when had they become strangers? She didn’t even know how long she’d been standing there, staring at the picture frame in her hands. All her dreams of a happy family with him crushed and all for what? She hoped it was worth it for him. She took a step back, leaving the frame facing down, not having the courage to look at it any longer and headed to the kitchen. How else would she grieve anyway without the help of her favorite bottle of wine?
At some point way past midnight, after consuming more than half the bottle while she tortured herself scrolling through their old pictures on her phone, she knew she had to call it a night. Everything looked better in the morning, she reminded herself as she dragged her feet up the stairs to check on Lizzie. She hoped to God it was true, how else would she survive?
The sight of Lizzie stopped her in her tracks. What the hell happened? Her skin was flushed as she shivered in her sleep, curling her body into a ball with her tiny hands clutched at the blanket. Y/N ran the few steps to her and immediately dropped the back of her hand on her forehead, feeling herself sober up as quickly as Lizzie’s heated skin shocked her. This was bad. This was really bad. She had a full blown fever in a span of a few hours. Was that even possible? She seemed fine, she said she was only tired, How could they have missed this? Her panicked mind moved before she even registered what she was doing, “Come on, pick up, pick up,” she begged into the phone before his voice sent her straight to voicemail. Damn it! She paced the room, calling Bucky again.
“Mommy? I don’t feel so good,” Lizzie croaked from her bed. Y/N rushed back to her, immediately tucking her phone back in her pocket as Lizzie vomited right where she was.
“Sorry,” she rasped, laying her head back on her pillow.
“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay. Mommy’s gonna get you cleaned up, okay?” Y/N tried not to let her alarm show, her hands shaking when she changed her out of her soiled clothes.
“Baby, mommy’s gonna be right back, she’ll just get you medicine okay?”
When Lizzie just nodded, she quickly ran to their medicine cabinet to grab the thermometer and Children’s Tylenol. She added some washcloths too and a basin full of water, hoping she was doing the right thing. When the normally fussy Lizzie didn’t even complain about the taste of the medicine, she knew just how bad she felt. Worry and panic gnawed at her as she tried to remember how her mother used to treat her when she was sick. Wiping the tepid washcloth over Lizzie’s skin, she tried to think of her options. She should call Nat despite the late hour. Bruce should know what to do even though he always says he wasn’t that kind of doctor. Those PhDs had to count for something right? After placing the cloth on Lizzie’s forehead, she measured her temperature. Please don’t let it be too high, please don’t let it be too high. 102 °F. Shit.
She paced the room again and wrung her free hand as she waited for her best friend to answer her call but to no avail, she got redirected to voicemail. Shit, shit, shit. This time she called Bruce, not caring anymore that she’d be waking them up. When no one answered, Lizzie whimpered again.
“Mommy, I’m dizzy,”
Y/N took that as a bad sign and put her soothing hand on her child’s forehead. “I know, sweetheart. Does anything else hurt?”
She just shook her head and raised her blanket higher.
“Alright, baby. Rest first okay? Mommy will take care of you, I promise,”
She picked her phone up again, giving a quick text to Bucky to call her as soon as he could before calling Steve, somehow knowing he’d know what to do. She needed his calming authoritative nature while her mind had gone haywire. He has always been the one in their group to call for emergencies, it just came with his hero complex.
“Hey, Y/N, what’s going on?” Steve asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
“Steve!” He heard her frantic reply on the line, making him sit up on his bed. “I can’t contact Bucky, he isn’t home and Lizzie, she’s sick. She has a fever, she’s thrown up already and I--”
“Hold on, hold on, Y/N, calm down. Have you given her anything?”
“I just gave her Tylenol but she’s still burning up and I think she’s nauseous, I don’t know what to do. Nat hasn’t picked up so I couldn’t ask Bruce what else I could give her, I should bring her to the hospital right? What am I saying? I’m bringing her now,” Steve could hear her panicked footsteps while she gathered everything she needed.
“Y/N wait, where the hell is Bucky? Should I try looking for him now?” He asked, already putting his shoes on. Y/N barely heard him, checking her driver’s license in her purse and grabbing her car keys before remembering...
“Shit!”
“What?” Steve asked, his heart in his throat. What now?
“Steve, I’ve been drinking! I need to call you back, I have to book an Uber,”
“No. Stay where you are. I’ll come get you,” his calm voice ordered, belying the anger he felt inside. If Bucky wasn’t already dead, he’d be sure to kill the jerk himself.
_______________________________________________________________________
Bucky woke up with a splitting headache as he stretched his sore muscles from the odd angle he fell asleep in. His bent legs burning from squeezing himself into the small couch of his office. He sat up, groaning, while he massaged the tense muscles of his neck. He had been so mad after receiving that text from Celeste. It had been almost a week since he ended it with her, the day that Lizzie with her big and generous heart, proudly smiled at him when she thought she had solved his problem by making her uncle Steve go for her career day instead of him, her actual father. He still remembered it like a blow to the stomach, knocking the air right out of him. His daughter, so giving and thoughtful and he’d inadvertently pushed her away, pushed them away. It still sent chills to his spine to think of just how close he is of losing them. So instead of facing his wife last night, instead of admitting his mistake, he let his demons get the best of him and ran. Ran to drink himself into oblivion but her face was all he could see. The disappointment she felt for him etched in her features. She had lost hope and he knew it. What was he going to do? Drinking definitely wasn’t it. The more sensible part of his brain told him. But his whole life, that’s all he’s ever known. Rumlow’s laughing voice echoing in his head, “You’ll always get your answers at the end of a bottle,” Bucky cursed himself. He thought he’d buried that part of himself when he met Y/N, when she gave him her smile and her heart without a care of his past and he was selfish enough to take it. He should’ve known he’d fall back in, it’s just who you are. Just when he thought his night couldn’t get any worse, his phone vibrated from his pocket, a text from Celeste. Right, just what he needed. Of course, it was going to get worse.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So there he was almost at midnight, knocking at her apartment door, hoping he’d get this over and done with fast enough. He really wasn’t in the mood for any of her theatrics, he just wanted it to be over. She opened her door slightly and flashed her seductive smile before revealing herself in her new form-fitting red lingerie. Bucky rolled his eyes and groaned. Why couldn’t she take the hint? It turned out she didn’t at all. She took his groan as a good sign and wrapped her arms around him.
“Missed you Bucky,” she pouted before she rose on her tiptoes to try and kiss his neck. Bucky immediately pushed her by the arms away from him.
“Stop, Celeste. That’s enough!” he barked at her.
“What the hell, Bucky!” she screamed back at him, indignant.
“We’re over. I already told you, so please just stop with your messages and your calls. You knew this wasn’t gonna last,” That was true. The moment she saw the ring on his finger and still pursued him, he made sure to let her understand that their relationship was never going to get any further from being physical, that was their arrangement.
“What we have is good, Bucky! How could you let this go?” She pleaded, launching herself at him again to change his mind, hoping that he’d remember just how much he loved her body and how she could make him forget.
“Stop!” Bucky said, grabbing her arms again to push her away. He didn’t know what the hell he saw in her now. He always thought they were on the same page, she thrived on the thrill and he needed an escape.
“So what’s your plan now? Go back to your boring wife and play house with your family?” She scoffed while Bucky stiffened, feeling his jaw tic.
“You’re a broken man, Bucky. You need me, I can help you.” She let her fingers trail his chest. Bucky’s eerily calm demeanor disguised the storm he felt brewing inside. He grabbed her hand in a bruising grip, his voice menacingly low as he told her,
“Don’t you dare talk about my family like that. If you want to continue destroying your life, then go ahead, chase another married man for all I care. I am out.” He walked away from her, striding out the door while he felt his blood pump in his veins.
“I hate you, Bucky Barnes!” She screamed from the open doorway.
You and me both, he thought to himself. You and me both.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He let out a sigh as he leaned back on the couch and massaged his temples, his dry throat working while the events of the night played on a loop in his head. What a fucking mess I made. His head pounded as shame filled him. He couldn’t go home and face Y/N right away, not while he was drunk and desperate for forgiveness. She didn’t deserve him drunkenly begging his apologies. He was fully planning on begging and groveling however way she wanted him to but not while his mind was muddled with alcohol. What was it she said again? Drinking and evading were what he was good at. It had hurt but she was right. Thankfully, he had just enough sense to crash in his office. He was a mess, but he was willing to do anything, anything to have his wife back and make her happy if she’d let him. He didn’t deserve her, he knew that too, but he was a selfish man. He needed her, she was the only woman he ever loved, the only one who made him feel right. Suddenly, his phone lit up from the coffee table in front of him, his brows furrowing when he saw Y/N and Steve’s missed calls. Dread formed at the pit of his stomach as his blood ran cold making him run as fast as he could out of his office.
_______________________________________________________________________
“Where is she?” Bucky’s voice boomed around the emergency waiting room while he ran straight to Steve. Steve’s jaw muscles clenched as he watched his friend run a hand through his disheveled hair, his skin pale, and his sweat and breath reeking of alcohol.
“Where the hell were you, Bucky?” Steve squared his shoulders, standing up. “Your daughter is sick! And your wife has been looking for you! What the hell has gotten into you lately?” he asked accusingly, his voice rising. Several heads in the room turned to them but Steve couldn’t care less. His friend was going to have a piece of his mind.
“I know, I know. I fell asleep at my office,” Bucky replied knowing how pathetic he sounded even to his own ears.
“Bullshit! Do you really expect anyone to believe that? God damn it, Bucky! Look at you!” Steve’s nostrils flared, his hands balling into fists at his sides. The normally restrained Steve with his easy smiles gone, in his place was a man on the brink of losing control. He thought of Bucky as a brother but the overwhelming urge to punch him was so strong he was considering it. If they were anywhere but at the hospital for Lizzie, he was sure to have done it already. Lizzie, the sweet little girl he loved as his niece, was sick while her dad looked like he just came from someone else’s bed. Steve had his doubts at first but looking at him now, he was sure.
“How could you do this to your family? You, of all people, should know better than this!” He jammed his index finger into Bucky’s chest making him stumble back but he remained silent and accepted everything his best friend said knowing he deserved it.
“What would’ve happened if I hadn’t answered my phone? Y/N almost drove Lizzie in her state of panic, even though she’d been drinking. Did you know that?” Steve’s gruff voice made Bucky’s eyes flash with alarm before he looked down, gritting his teeth. He could feel Steve crowd in on him, taunting him and he wished he’d just punch him, hurt him. He deserved it. He deserved worse.
“Steve,” Y/N’s quiet, assertive voice interrupted them. She laid her hand on Steve’s back to calm him down, making him step away from Bucky and let go of the huge breath he’d been holding.
“Lizzie’s asleep. She’s feeling better now. The results of the tests shouldn’t take long,” she informed both of them, her eyes avoiding Bucky’s.
“Steve, you should head home. I’m sorry I woke you up, I’m not even sure if this was even an emergency. I think I might’ve just panicked,” she tried to keep her voice light but her smile didn’t reach her eyes, her back remaining rigid.
“Hey, no. You did the right thing,” Steve reassured her, nodding. She gave him a small smile before hugging him.
“Thank you Steve, really. What would we have done without you?” Y/N spoke to his neck. He rubbed his hand along her back, willing her the strength and comfort she needed to face her husband.
“Don’t worry about it. Everything would be fine. Are you sure you want me to go?” He asked her gently.
“You’ve done enough. You should rest. I promise to text you how it goes,” she said encouragingly at him. He nodded at her before turning to look coldly at Bucky. He strode away from them not bothering to say goodbye to him but Bucky reached his hand out, grabbing his arm.
“Thank you Steve, for being here. I mean it.” His voice was raw with sincerity, trying to convey just how grateful he was to have a brother in him. Steve’s jaw tensed before he nodded once and pulled his arm out of Bucky’s grasp, leaving him and Y/N alone together.
“Y/N…” Bucky said as he faced her, guilt and shame written all over his face. She turned to face him finally, her expression blank, as she asked him in a calm and steady voice,
“Do you love her?”
Her resolve not at all betraying the riot inside her mind and heart, ignoring the pain that lodged itself deep in her chest. At last, she had the courage to ask what she wanted to know all long, what kept her awake at night when she thought of him and where he was, what he was doing with her. Did she know him the way she did? Did she run her fingers down his spine the way he liked? Did she kiss that soft spot behind his ear that made him shiver? Did she love him? Did he love her? It seemed all her questions ended and revolved around that. Funny how only three words were all it took to change their lives forever.
Bucky’s breath caught in his chest as he swallowed a lump in his throat. This was it, he thought, she was going to leave him.
“Y/N, please. I wasn’t—”
“Answer the question, Bucky. Stop treating me like I’m stupid. I deserve to know,” she cut him off in her eerily resolved voice, and raised her chin. She looked so brave and so regal and he was so so stupid to have taken her for granted, to have neglected her. He could never forgive himself.
“No, Y/N, no. God, I’m so stupid, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he pleaded frantically as he grabbed her hands in his, only to have her flinch and pull herself away harshly from him as if his touch burned her.
“Y/N please—” he tried again.
“No, no, don’t touch me,” she said, emotion finally seeping into her voice, her eyes brimming with tears that she would not let fall down. Not for him, never for him anymore.
“I don’t love her, Y/N. I love you. You’re the only one, please listen,” he tried again, his voice sounding pathetic to his own ears.
“Stop, Bucky. It doesn’t matter!” She said, her nostrils flaring, eyebrows drawn together. She huffed, regaining her control as she drew in long breaths, and shook her head, “It doesn’t matter,”
Bucky felt his world spin, fear pulsing in his veins as he stood frozen, while his wife told him there was nothing he could say or do that would matter anymore. He had made his choice, he had to lie in it. Still, while his mind understood and knew what she was saying, the heart was a treacherous thing, and his hoped and fought against all odds to have her listen, to get her back.
“Y/N, please. I love you. Let me explain, I’m begging—”
“Bucky, Stop. I can’t,” she shook her head, unable to finish, not knowing what to say as she took several steps back.
“I can’t even look at you right now. I just, I can’t,” she continued to shake her head, her thoughts and feelings stuck in her throat. She was disgusted with him, she couldn’t even stand him. And he just stood there, watching her longingly, his hands clenching at his sides when she started to walk away.
“Y/N wait… I don’t mean… Just, can I stay for Lizzie? Bring you guys home?”
Y/N had never heard him sound so small and unsure. She let out a breath she’d been holding, he was Lizzie’s father after all, no matter how he treated her, that wasn’t ever going to change. She nodded her head, knowing how much it would break her heart to have him still here but she couldn’t just think of herself, she had to think of her daughter, and she’d do anything for her.
“Thank you,” she heard his defeated voice say above the din as she put one step in front of the other, not once daring to look back at him while the sea of chatter and activity in the emergency room droned on, leaving a sorrowful man standing in the middle of the waiting room watching the one thing in his life he did right walk away. Her voice a constant echo in his mind, “It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter,”
Part 6
_____________________________________________________________________
A/N: Sorry to have misled you in the ending of Part 4! Hope you enjoyed this one and let me know what you think!
Tags: @wannabedaphne @pinkisokay @jgiiy @scarletnerd05 @93generation @i-ship-it-ironically @ilovesupersoldiers @joannie95 @xapham @hazel0clouds @foreveralone19588 @angstytoddd @nsfwsebbie @thisishowdynastiesareborn @learisa @bucky-fanfiction @guns-and-angels @mylife-love-and-other-things @iheartsebastianstan @tinystudentfirepurse @captainamerica-is-bae @cloudyskylines @chipilerendi @yesfanficsaremylife @mcueveryday @visiblethirdspace @afterlaughter27 @mr-robot-x @captainchrisstan @agusdoti @mrsfox79 @cha-lyn @xoxabs88xox @rinkashirikitateku @racing-against-the-sunset @thefridgeismybestie @inactivewhore @doyleme1103 @rynabarnesrogers @remilupin22 @winterboobear11 @marvelousbarnes @groovyhumantrashherring @sarcastic-and-cool@enchantedcruelsummer @princesskhy @unlikelygalaxygiver @atomicsoulcollecto@fandomsfallnomore @ritzintherabbithole @too-many-lanes @jxtr610
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes imagine#bucky x you#bucky x y/n#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes#steve rogers#marvel fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#betrayal
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Secret In The Tears || Mildred Ratched & Wilhemina Venable
warnings: depression, intrusive thoughts, self harm, suicide attempt, major angst
~~~~~~
Your relationship with the two reserved redheads had been purely carnal to begin with. They used you for sex and you were fine with it. It then turned into something more....intimate. Long nights spent keening underneath them turned into early mornings wrapped between their arms.
Soon after these changes they asked you to be their submissive; their pet. And of course you happily agreed. You had always let them lead in the bedroom, so everyday life couldn't be much different right?
Well you were wrong. It had been much more than you expected and thought you learned quickly, the adjustment to the new environment was rough. Now here you were six months in feeling like your head is underwater. You life scheduled out by the hour and punishments handed out when things are not up to par. You were trying the best you could, but it seemed like you were being degraded more than praised and it was breaking you on the inside. Yet you never said a word. You just kept with the motions; doing things just good enough so you wouldn't get yelled at.
You were reaching your peak. You started sleeping in a different room at night just to have some peace but it was never granted. You spent many hours of the night crying silently and holding yourself as you tried to put the pieces back together. You felt low, unappreciated, unloved, empty. And once again you cried yourself to sleep, this time not caring if you woke up or not.
~~~~~~~~
To your dismay you did. Alarm blaring at 5:30am like any other day. You hit the button to turn it off and stayed in the bed just staring at the wall. You laid there until you heard Mildred rumbling around; getting up and going to your bathroom to avoid her for the time being. You lulled through your hygiene routine and changed into some sweatpants and a t shirt. You made your bed despite the desperate want to climb back in it and headed downstairs. You walked down the hall and towards the kitchen; the smell of brewing coffee roamed through most of the house. As you turned the corner you saw Mildred in her nurse uniform packing her lunch for the day. She glanced over her shoulder looking at you as you walked into the kitchen.
"Well good morning to you too." She said frowning. She looked over your attire before shaking her head.
"Sorry. Good morning." You said in a low voice with your gaze fixated on the ground in front of you. Mildred paused what she was doing to look at you properly; frown still plastered across her face.
"Look at me when I'm speaking to you. And what on earth do you have on?" She chided. You drew in a silent breath and raised your head to look at her.
"I'm not feeling too well so I just put on something that'll help me be a little more comfortable." You replied whilst wrapping your arms around your abdomen.
Her eyes scanned over you once more to take in your appearance. Your glassy eyes and dark circles led her to believe you were telling the truth about not feeling well. She turned away from you and continued to pack her lunch.
"Do you need to see a doctor?" She asked as she set her lunch to the side and poured herself a cup of coffee.
"No, I'll just take some tylenol and lay down later on. I should be fine."
"Alright well if you change your mind just give me or Wilhemina a call." She said as she turned around to face me.
"And why on earth would she need to call me?" You hear Wilhemina ask as she walked into the kitchen. She almost immediately walked over to Mildred to place a soft kiss on her lips. The action torn you to pieces.
"The poor girl isn't feeling well. Just look at her eyes." Mildred said pointing in your direction. You shifted uncomfortably now that the attention was on you. Wilhemina looked over your physique before scoffing.
"She looks perfectly fine to me. I expect everything to be done by the time we make it home. Understood?"
You swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat before looking up at her and nodding.
"Yes ma'am. I understand. If you'll excuse me." You said before turning around and going back upstairs. As you were walking up the stairs tears stung your eyes, you wouldn't allow them to fall though.
Meanwhile in the kitchen Mildred was feeling conflicted. She could see that something was wrong with you. At least she thought she could. But she didn't want to start an argument with Wilhemina over the matter; so she stayed silent. They both left the house bidding you goodbye as you slowly made their bed.
~~~~~~~
You did your daily routine of cleaning and preparing things for dinner before collapsing on your bed. You curled up in the center of the bed and let your eyes close from mental exhaustion. You never fell asleep though, you only laid on your bed in silence. After a while you finally opened your eyes and checked the time. 4:15pm.. They would be home soon.
You sighed and forced yourself to get up and go downstairs to the kitchen to start dinner. You took all the ingredients out of the fridge and laid them on the counter. Soon after you moved on to chopping the ingredients needed to make the redhead's favorite foods for dinner.
You gaze turned to the shiny blade of the knife and you zoned out, getting lost in harmful thoughts.
'Just do one.'
'Stab yourself.'
'Do it.'
'Do it.'
'DO IT!!'
Before you realized it you had given in and acted upon your thoughts; deeply cutting your inner forearm. You dropped the knife on the floor and grasped your arm with a pained gasp. You turned to go towards the sink but the sudden movement combined with you not eating all day caused your vision to blur. Time seemed to slow down and you hit your head against the edge of the counter before crashing onto the floor. The fall knocked the wind out of your body making you frantically gasp for air.
You were fighting to stay conscious when you heard the front door unlocked with some banter.
"All I'm saying is you don't need to be so rough all the time. Loosen up some." You heard Mildred say.
"I still don't see why I need to. I made a commitment to you, not her." Wilhemina shot back almost as if her words were laced with venom.
Upon hearing that you let go. You stopped fighting to stay awake and let the darkness take over you as you heard the click of heels approaching. Your eyes were finally shutting as you heard a loud gasp and the drop of a bag. Then everything went black.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A faint beep noise met your ears as a wave of pain surged through your body. You lowly groaned and struggled to open your eyes; a bright light blinded you causing you groan a little louder. You heard a gasp and heels clicking over to where you were, the sound pained your ears.
You began to blink slowly as you took in your surroundings. Painfully white walls, two chairs and the sun setting beyond the other side of the window.
"Y/n, Y/n honey can you hear me?? Wilhemina go get the nurse."
"You are a nurse."
"Her nurse. Jesus Christ must you be so literal right now?"
"Fine I'll go."
You groaned once again before moving to cover your ears; a searing hot pain ran through your arm causing you to stop and whimper.
"You're being too loud." You rasped lowly as you fully opened your eyes and looked towards Mildred.
"Oh I'm sorry sweetheart. I'll talk softer for you. How are you feeling?" She asked pulling her chair next to the bed so she could sit with me.
"I'm fine. When can I go home?" You saw a wave sadness in her eyes as you questioned her.
"Are you sure you're okay? That was a really bad cut." She poked again. But she was weeks too late, you had already shut down and closed off your true feelings.
"Yes I'm fine. I just want to go home." You said in a huff while rolling your eyes.
She frowned at your sudden attitude but stayed quiet. Soon Wilhemina had walked back in the room with a nurse; she took her seat next to Mildred laying her hand on Mildreds knee whilst the other hand rested on the head of her cane. She hadn't spared you glance so you didn't dare look in her direction.
You let the nurse check you and answered all her questions as best as you could before taking some pain medication and sitting in silence. You all sat in silence before Wilhemina spoke up.
“So what was that?” She inquired quite harshly.
“What was what?” You shot back in a low voice. You had been slowly falling asleep due to your pain medication so you were basically on the edge of consciousness.
“Oh don’t play dumb. What’s your problem? What are you tired of living or something?” She interrogated further. Her voice was harsh and usually they would hurt but this time they didn’t.
“Wil, now’s not the time. Let her rest.” Mildred butted in trying to calm her down and also keep her from stressing you any further.
“I’m not living.. I’m surviving. I’m barely doing that correctly. Doesn’t seem like I do anything right anymore.” You said in a small voice. The room went silent.
A wave of sadness had over come you. Tears stung your eyes causing you to close then completely. You rolled over onto your side; back facing them as you finally let your feelings and sleep take over. You fell asleep curled into yourself with tears running down your face.
~~~~~~~~~~~
word count: 1687
#sarah paulson x reader#wilhemina venable#sarah paulson#ally mayfair richards#cordelia goode#audrey tindall x reader#billie dean howard x reader#lana winters#sally mckenna x reader#cordelia goode x reader#mildred ratched#tw depressing stuff#angst
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oblivious To Adoration (m)
Summary: After an intense night of drunken sex, Jungkook realizes he wants more. When he suggests an idea to you, you were shocked. However, who were you to say no to Mr. Jeon Jungkook?
W/C: 3,106
Next Part
Warnings: smut, cussing, unintentional cuteness, a bit of fluff, friends to lovers AU
“All I’m asking is one summer.” Jungkook spoke, his arms gesturing wildly as he followed you through campus. You adjusted your bag on your shoulder, rolling your eyes at your best friend who also happened to have the most impeccable talent of getting on your nerves lately.
“What exactly are you implying?” You raise a brow, watching him struggle to keep up with your pace. You were fast, especially when you didn’t want to be late.
"You know what I’m implying. Then after that we can go back to acting like nothing happened and move on with our lives as far as... that... goes.” Jungkook gave you a small grin, shy yet sure of himself.
“As far as what goes?” You knew what he was talking about. He knew you knew as well, but you still wanted to hear him say it.
It started off oddly casual.
Having both celebrated the end of exam season, you got drunk at Yoongi’s and Seokjin’s apartment. It wasn’t a party or anything, just 8 people sat in a circle getting wasted in an attempt to calm the anxiety that you could have failed all of your tests even though it was unlikely.
Unfortunately for you, you get extra touchy when you’re drunk. Not that Jungkook minded that you clung to his side at every second of the night, he thought you smelled nice and he enjoyed the feeling of you beside him. Then before you could realize what you were doing or the consequences that could follow, you were leading him to a separate room and having sex.
To say it wasn’t good would be a lie. It was, from what you could remember, the best sex you had ever had in your entire life. All the way down to the way his fingertips grazed across your tits softly, the already impeccably sensitive nubs responding to his every touch.
When you woke up the next day, you pretended not to remember any of it. Only gripping your temples and watching him pull himself out of bed to grab you some water and Tylenol. You remembered enough to know that if you continued this path, it could be both detrimental to your friendship and your mind. One time thing, you repeatedly told yourself.
“Sex, between you and I.” Jungkook said a touch bit too loudly for your liking, causing a few fellow students to turn their head in wonder. He looked around with a blush, “I mean- I’d still want to be friends afterward and all that but we could just think of it as practice.”
You finally stop your incessant speed-walking, turning to look at him, “You think I need practice?”
“What? N- no! That’s not what I- ah, sheesh,” He tilts his head in embarrassment and covers his face, rubbing it in frustration, “harmless fun! It’d be some harmless fun for the summer.”
The truth was, Jungkook couldn’t get you off of his mind after that night. Especially the next morning, watching you stretch in bed and the white sheets slipped off of your torso while you searched around for your bra. He couldn’t wipe the shock from his face at the memories from the previous night racing through his head. It’s not like he hadn’t ever thought about seeing you naked before, or pressing his tongue flat against your burning heat as you writhed beneath him. He just never thought he’d be in a position to actually do so.
Gnawing at your bottom lip, you slip your bag off your shoulder and roll your neck as you went over the pros and cons in your head.
Pros- Jungkook is really good with his mouth, he has a huge dick but doesn’t rely solely on his size to pleasure you, and if you were completely honest with yourself you wouldn’t necessarily mind having a friends with benefits situation with him even if it’s temporarily.
Cons- Jungkook is your friend, your best friend. He was there when you went through your first break up, and you were there when he had to change majors. There hadn’t been a day that passed where you didn’t talk to him, hug him, thought of him. You had a good thing going with him and you definitely hated the trope of best friends ruining their friendship because of personal needs or wants.
Jungkook looked down into your eyes, a sense of dread filling him at your silence. He wasn’t sure why he let Jimin talk him into asking you. He knew that there was consequences but Jimin just kept saying “you’re only in your early 20s once!” and “what’s the worst that could happen?”
Rejection. An ended friendship. Dying of embarrassment.
The list goes on.
“End of the summer, we go back to friends minus the benefits,” You spoke up finally, crossing your arms over your chest, “and we don’t tell anyone we’re doing this. This is only for pleasure, right? We don’t need to add the drama of other people’s opinions.”
Jungkook’s excitement bubbled to the surface, wiping away his previous fear of rejection. You rose an eyebrow at the way he jumped up and down, his back pack bouncing along with his movements. He resisted the urge to pull you in for a kiss, opting instead for a hug.
“I’ll text you later and we’ll go over logistics,” Jungkook cleared his throat, “I’m excited.”
“Yeah,” you smile tightly, “me too.”
~*~*~
The day went by too quickly for your liking.
It’s not like you weren’t excited for the idea, you were just... scared. Scared of what could happen, scared of how both of you would handle ending it, scared of falling for him.
Of course you had a crush on him, but it was so small that you swallowed your feelings and opted for being friends with him instead. Besides, it’s not like he’d want to settle down in college anyway. Especially after having seen the way he his door was pretty much revolving with gorgeous women.
To: (Y/N)
From: Kookie
Come to my apartment, Tae is out of town.
You didn’t respond, instead pulling you out of your bed and preparing an overnight bag quickly. You have spent the night with him before, just never with the implication of sex being the main reason.
Suddenly you were unsure of what to wear. Before you never had to deal with the stress of looking ‘sexy’. You’d show up in your sweats and a T-shirt, beer in one hand and snacks in another. It was completely platonic, even if your mind wandered when Jungkook opened the door in matching grey sweats and no shirt on his torso.
Deciding it best to dress in some lace lingerie underneath your clothes, you’d leave it hidden for a while until Jungkook was ready for you. Covering your lingerie in a black shirt and black leggings, you grabbed your keys and drove silently to Jungkook’s apartment.
On the other side of town, Jungkook was burning himself with matches.
“It’s for the ambiance,” Jungkook spoke, holding the phone between his shoulder and ear, “just to make it sexy. Not romantic.”
Jimin snorted on the other end, “Whatever you say, man. I’m just saying, candles makes it seem like you’re trying to marry her.”
“What?” Panic freezes the blood in Jungkook’s veins, “n- no! I’m trying to seduce her, not marry her!”
Staring at his bed, six candles are lit in various places in the room. Peppered suede, a scent that Google says is number 4 on the list of most erotic and relaxing candles to use to get your girl into the mood. He began to think about how stupid it was until Jimin spoke again, breaking him out of his thoughts.
“Alright, I respect the attempt.”
“Remember you can’t say anything to her about this-- she doesn’t know it was your idea and doesn’t want anyone knowing.” Jungkook explained hurriedly, wafting the scent of the candles into his nose.
Jimin chuckled, “Of course, Kookie. My lips are sealed.”
With that, Jungkook heard a knock at his door and hung up quickly with a quiet goodbye. He rushed towards the front door and quickly adjusts his clothes so he can look somewhat presentable. His hair was still wet from his earlier shower, but he wanted to make sure that he was perfect for you, in every sense of the way.
With the door swinging open, he took in your appearance carefully. Now that he had seen you- all of you -he wasn’t able to see anything else. He was growing hard just at the thought of seeing you like that again.
“Hi,” you said, suddenly fully aware of the circumstances. A shy blush spreads across both of your faces as Jungkook’s eyes scanned up and down your body.
Jokingly, you step inside and spin around, giggling softly as you did so. He grabbed your hand, pulling you close to him, “Did you dress up just for me?”
“Dress up, huh? Is that what you call this?” You tease, remembering that this was just Jungkook. He was your best friend, there was no need to be so shy about anything especially since you both established boundaries that you know you’ll be sure to follow.
He didn’t respond, instead locking his lips with yours.
Jungkook just couldn’t help himself, your lips were so inviting and unbelievably plump. Sucking softly on your bottom lip, he moved his hands down your back and brought them to rest at the base of your spine. Clutching the hem of your shirt in his hands, you allowed yourself to be fully immersed in all things Jungkook.
Feeling his body slowly guiding you back towards his bedroom, you allowed him to undress you along the way. In the hallway, he drops to his knees in front of you and pulls your leggings down quickly.
Looking up, he took in your lingerie, the navy blue color complimenting your flushed skin deliciously. He couldn’t help but grin, leaning forward and swiping his tongue on your exposed pelvic bone. You immediately jumped at the contact, your hands flying to his hair and tugging at the roots. He moved down further, inhaling your scent through your underwear, causing a rush of lust and desire to shoot through your body as he did so.
“P- please.” you stutter, watching Jungkook pull away with concern lacing his features.
“What do you want, babygirl?” His voice was much deeper than usually, the way he looked up at you had you dripping almost instantly.
“More.” It felt like your tongue was broken, resulting in any noise leaving your mouth being a moan. You wondered if you could cum untouched, because Jungkook’s hands on your hips had you reeling.
Jungkook’s heart hammered against his ribcage, and he preyed you couldn’t hear it as he stood once again, “I’ll give you more. I’ll give you whatever you want.”
Grinning, you lean up and capture his lips hungrily, all anxiety diminished.
Finally, you reached Jungkook’s room, a trial of clothing and underwear on the way. The last item separating you two was his briefs, which he was straining against. Your mouth watered at the sight, your fingers dancing across his hardening cock. Pushing him back onto the bed, you couldn’t help but tug his boxers down quickly.
The cool air against Jungkook’s aching member caused him to gasp, his eyes not leaving your body as you moved up the bed and straddled his leg. He let out a hiss as you wrap your hand around his shaft, freezing in place.
Thinking he had suddenly changed his mind, you go to pull away but you are stopped by Jungkook’s hand gripping your wrist, “No, keep going.”
Smiling, you feel his hand guide yours up and down until he feels you have a good enough rhythm. Then, he throws his head back and scrunches his eyes closed at the feeling of heat washing over his body. Beads of precum drip from Jungkook’s cock, your mouth watering at the sight. Without thinking much about it, you lick a long stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling your tongue around to collect all the precum.
Jungkook groans loudly, his hands flying to your hair and collecting it from around your face in a makeshift ponytail. His hips instinctively stuttered up, his jaw fully agape as he watched his cock disappear between your lips. He always knew you would look so pretty with a cock in your mouth, the amount of times he dreamed about this was beyond countable.
Eventually his hips twitched, driving him deeper into your mouth. “Sorry,” he flushed, feeling you gag as he reached the base of your throat.
“No need to be.” You respond, hearing him moan when you move, bobbing your head up and down his shaft. “Oh my god,” Jungkook attempts to bite his lip to silence his moans but he just couldn’t help himself.
Panic begins to flood his mind when he felt his balls tighten, “S- stop! Don’t wanna- ah-”
Sensing his panic, you pull off of him with a pop and sit back on your heels, looking up at him obediently.
Taking a moment to catch his breath, his chest heaves while you wait patiently. You enjoyed having this sort of control over him. It was nice knowing that he could be writhing beneath you in seconds, because outside of the bedroom it wasn’t like that, it was the complete opposite in fact.
Thinking back to a time where you hid behind Jungkook as he helped you confront a professor on a bad grade you didn’t deserve, you couldn’t help but smirk at the role reversal.
“I want to feel you.” Jungkook finally whispered, and that was all the reassurance you needed to pounce.
The kiss was all teeth and need, an indescribable feeling taking over both of you. Quickly and without warning, you straddled Jungkook’s thighs and sunk down on him.
“Oh, fuck,” Jungkook didn’t swear often, but he just couldn’t help himself with you. It brought no complaints from you though, because the words sent jolts of electricity though you. “You’re so soaked, how are you this tight?”
A throaty giggle left your mouth, but was quickly replaced by a gasp as Jungkook lifted you up and slammed you back down onto his cock. His arms loop beneath your knees, his hands holding your waist while he continued to life you up and down. You knew he was strong but, fuck, you didn’t expect him to be using you like his own personal pocket pus-
“Right there! Fuck, more!” You fling yourself forward, pushing his face against your chest and feeling his lips latch around your nipple and bit down. Feeling Jungkook reach a place that had never been touched before, you felt your wetness dripping down your legs and landing on Jungkook’s thighs. Your arousal was unbelievable, and Jungkook was determined to make sure you came harder than you ever had before.
That power you felt earlier was now gone, and you were a puddle in on top of him. Vulnerability took over you, trusting Jungkook with your whole being. Trusting that he would take care of you, trusting that he meant no harm with this whole situation, trusting him.
“Kook, I think I’m gonna come.” You moan, feeling him nip at your collarbone. Another gasp falls from your lips as Jungkook throws you onto the bed, his cock not leaving inside you.
His stilled inside you, kissing you harshly before pulling back, “You’re gonna come on my cock like a good girl, aren’t you?”
You nod enthusiastically, inhaling your excitement as Jungkook held your hips into the bed and pulled nearly all the way out of you, before slamming back into you punishingly. You cry out, your hand moving down to your clit and rubbing quick circles while you rode out your high.
"Yes, baby girl, come for me. Squeeze my cock.” Jungkook groaned, biting his lip and letting you ride out your high. White hot pleasure coursed through your veins, your back arching off of his bed.
Unable to take the squeeze of you anymore, he pulls out much to your dismay and begins to stroke himself above you. Still reeling from your orgasm, you watch in awe while Jungkook strokes himself to completion, spurting white strings of his release across your stomach.
His cum begins to dribble down your stomach and onto his bed. Then he collapses beside you in a panting heap.
You two lay like that for a while, sighing in contempt while your mind fell blank of any and all negative thoughts. Eventually the stickiness on your stomach made you feel uneasy, so you went to move to the bathroom but was stopped quickly by Jungkook.
He walks to the bathroom, collecting your bag on the way and wetting a washcloth with warm water. When he reentered the room, you were laying with your hands behind your head and your legs crossed tightly. He grinned at the sight, you still spent with his orgasm spread across your body. He liked the way you looked in general, but he could almost feel himself twitching yet again at the sight of you now.
“I’m gonna clean you up, okay?” Jungkook, now shy again, tentatively wiped your torso clean. You watched him go eye level with your pelvis, pressing a soft kiss to your hip bone as he cleaned you up.
It was such a small move, but you felt your stomach flutter. Especially at the way he looked up at you through his eyelashes. When you were finally clean, he pulls himself up and laces his legs through yours, pressing a small kiss to your forehead.
“Do you still think I need some practice?” You joke, hearing him snort from above you, “because I’m pretty sure you don’t need it.”
“Well if I say you don’t, then we won’t do this again. But if I say you do, then you’ll get mad and we won’t do this again,” Jungkook shrugged, “so I’m going to keep quiet on the subject.”
“Master of deceit,” you smack his chest, “I already agreed until the end of the summer.”
Jungkook felt a slight twinge in his chest at the way you smacked him, his heart fluttering at the gesture despite you having done it many times prior to you two sleeping together.
“Right,” he responded, pressing another kiss to your temple, “until the end of the summer.”
#ahahaha what am i doing with my life I'm writing a friends to lovers AU whO AM I#yknow what#i love what i have planned for this#i hope you enjoy it to babies#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader smut#jungkook x reader fluff#jungkook smut#jeongguk x reader#jeongguk x reader smut
521 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sicktember - Zach has a headache
Another @sicktember post! Today’s story is with my oc’s Kylie and Zach.
Prompts:
Blankets
Medicine
Missing Out
Headache
Fever
Zach and Kylie are in the last week of summer before their senior year of high school and want to make every minute count. So, when Zach arrives at Kylie’s family’s End of the Summer BBQ looking flushed and develops a headache, Kylie drops everything to take care of him.
Zach swings by the kitchen where his sister, Emily is garnishing her avocado toast — a sprinkle of paprika, an egg over easy — before taking the right Instagram photo to share with her friends.
“‘Morning!” Zach croaks, startled by the sound of his voice. Must just be my morning voice he tries to convince himself.
He grabs a glass from the wooden cabinet nearest to the refrigerator and pours a glass of orange juice for himself before finding a quick breakfast.
His eyes grow wide when he sees a white plate with four pieces of bacon lying on it. He quickly takes piece by piece until only one remains on the plate.
“Zach!!” Emily exclaimed, her eyes raised and face scrunched in annoyance.
“Those were for Mom!” she explains, holding a hand on her hip.
“Sorry…” he mutters, “That would’ve been nice to know before, you know” he gestures his hands to the plate of bacon, pouting his lip.
“Ugh, it’s fine. I can just make more”
“Sorry, I have to be at Kylie’s soon for their barbeque and I totally woke up late,” he says trying to justify his actions.
“Oh, nice! I’m going to try and stop by later with Kara” she half-smiles. Emily has been seeing a girl named Kara for over a month now since they met at her summer job as a school nurse at a summer day camp. Emily’s first job since she graduated from Med School.
Zach touched his Home screen button to reveal the time, 12:48 PM with five unread messages from Kylie probably asking him where he was.
“Fuck. I better go” Zach said, panicked. He had been up late watching Netflix aimlessly and his throat was sore. He had tried everything: tea and honey, gargling with salt water, and honey-flavored cough drops. Nothing was curing the aching in his throat.
Finally, around 2 am, he was able to fall asleep thanks to some NyQuil.
But, he was deeply regretting his decisions when he woke up at 11:45 am after Kylie told him to get to her house at 12.
Luckily, the pain in his throat had hindered. Please, don’t do this to me again, he said into his mirror as he pulled on a blue t-shirt and khaki shorts.
Zach pulled into the Daniels’ driveway which was beginning to pack up with cars. As he parked his car, Kylie’s brother, Blake ran over to him waving his arms around in excitement.
Blake was a year younger than Kylie and Zach, playing in a band with some of his high school friends.
“Yo! You playing tonight?” Zach asked as he got out of the car to greet him with a handshake.
Blake laughed, “Nah. I got out of that tonight. One of my bandmates is taking their brother to college,” he said.
Blake escorted Zach to the back gate where their ingrown pool was fenced in and the party was brewing. Kylie waved to her boyfriend the minute she saw him. She wore an ombre purple bikini top with denim shorts and flip-flops, pulling out pool noodles for the kids to play with.
Zach smiled, walking over to her, greeting her younger cousins. He pulled her in for a kiss on the cheek.
“Do you have any water?” he asked feeling dehydrated.
Kylie perked up, turning her head toward him.
“Yeah! Right in the blue cooler”, she mentioned, throwing a couple of pool noodles into the pool at the kids. The kids screamed with excitement, one laying on their stomach and the others blowing water out the trunk of the noodle. Kylie giggled.
Zach pulled a cold water bottle out of the cooler and sighed out of relief. Suddenly, he felt light-headed and super thirsty. He chugged the water bottle until only drops of water remained.
“Let’s go inside. My mom still needs help getting everything set up” she mentioned.
Zach nodded, following her lead.
Kylie closed the gate over and started heading into the house.
When they walked into the Daniels’ home, Zach was immediately greeted by her family members.
“Zach! Nice to see ya,” Uncle Tim said. Zach nodded waving at him. “I’ll be right back, you chat” Kylie whispered in his ear.
Zach shrugged. “Ready for senior year? Do you have any colleges picked out?” Aunt Michelle (Tim’s wife) asked.
Zach dreaded this question. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do.
“Uh, I’m going to community college, actually,” he said, confidently.
“Oh,” they said in unison. Zach was so used to hearing the disappointment in their voices when he told any adult he wasn’t going the “traditional” route for college.
Why was it so bad that he’d rather save money and figure out what he actually wanted to do instead of contributing to being in crippling debt from student loans? His sister had done the same thing and now, she landed a job as a school nurse. When he figured out whatever the hell he wanted to do in life, he would be successful, too.
“Yeah! Trying to save money” he said smiling at them. This was his cue to walk away. He walked over to the sectional in the living room across from the kitchen where the TV was playing a re-run of a Food Network competition.
Once the winner was revealed and another episode started, Zach looked around for his girlfriend. The chatter of Kylie’s loud relatives made his head start to hurt and fatigue set in.
His eyes lit up when he saw a hint of purple and his girlfriend bringing in a folded chair for an elderly woman to sit in. He ran over to Kylie as soon as he saw her.
“Hey. Can I go lay down in your room? I have a headache” he said, talking low so no one could hear him.
“Sure. Do you want some Advil?” she asked, pouting her lip with concern, “You look a little flushed” she mentioned.
Zach nodded, “Yeah, that’d be great” and jogged up the stairs turning a corner in the hallway to enter her room.
The noise died down as he closed the door. Now only hints of loud voices were in the distance. Zach grabbed a fuzzy blanket from a wicker basket and lied on top of her dark purple comforter, closing his eyes as his head pounded.
Then, the door opened.
Kylie rubbed his back saying, “Hey, I brought some water and Advil”
Zach opened his eyes and grabbed the two pink tablets from her hand, chasing them with the water.
“A nap might help? You look exhausted” she said brushing her hand through his soft brown hair.
He nodded, “Thanks” and curled back into his position. A shiver went through his body. Making Kylie now more concerned.
“Do you feel okay? Besides the headache?” she asked quietly.
“Mhmm” Zach mumbled. “Alright, I’ll check in later, or come and get me if you’re feeling better,” she said, closing her door over.
Zach woke up an hour later, feeling cold, his throat burning, and his head pounding more than earlier. He groaned. He could just go home and rest, but driving felt impossible.
He laid in the bed trying to muster up some strength to send Kylie a text. He waited, counted to five in his head, and slowly picked his body up.
Z: come here pls i need u
K: coming!
He threw his phone down and curled back up in his position. Shivering under the one blanket from earlier.
The door opened and Kylie quietly walked.
“Hey, everything okay?” she asked, calmly.
Zach opened his eyes seeing she changed into a Lakewood University shirt - the college she was most eager to attend.
“Need to go home. Can’t drive” he muttered.
“Aw, what’s wrong?” she asked, worried.
“Everything,” he said, his voice raspy. “I just need to go”
Zach groaned. “Babe, you can stay here. I don’t mind. I know you don’t feel well” she offered.
He was silent.
Kylie held in a laugh, resting the back of her hand on his forehead. “I think you have a fever,” she said frowning.
“Why don’t you stay here until you’re feeling a little better? Then, I’ll drive you home” she suggested. “Your sister and your mom are already here, so I don’t think anyone would even be at your house”
“Okay,” he mumbled.
“Let me get you some medicine and see if you have a fever,” she said, running out to the hallway closet where the Daniel’s stored their medicine.
Kylie returned to the room with a bottle of Tylenol and a digital thermometer.
“I’m sorry, but I need you to get up. Please”
Zach slowly, painfully got up and looked at his girlfriend.
Kylie frowned at his glassy eyes and pink cheeks.
“This should help relieve your symptoms for a bit,” she said gesturing to the pink bottle.
Zach just looked at her. He looked exhausted, she thought.
She poured the liquid into a plastic measuring cup and handed it over to him. Zach took a big gulp of the medicine, wincing from the taste.
“It’ll make you feel so much better. I promise” she said smiling softly, then grabbing the digital thermometer.
“Next,” she said holding the thermometer in the air. Zach opened his mouth, letting the instrument rest under his tongue.
“I’ll get some more blankets while we wait,” she said softly.
Even though he felt like utter shit, Zach was so grateful for Kylie. She would drop anything for him, even their family’s annual barbeque. Even before they made things official, as just friends, she was still always there for him.
Beep. Finally, the thermometer beeped as she held two blankets in her arms.
She placed the blankets on the bed as Zach lied on his back with the blanket she gave him earlier.
Kylie took the instrument out of her boyfriend’s mouth and read it. “Okay, you probably just have a bad cold. Nothing we can’t fix! And, you have a little fever, but the medicine should help with that ” she explained.
Zach grabbed the blankets at the end of the bed, ignoring whatever she was saying.
“Zach? Are you listening to me?” she asked noticing her boyfriend’s extra blanket.
He placed the blanket on top of the other and sighed out of relief.
“Sorry, what did you say?” he asked.
Kylie sighed. “I said, you have a little fever. But I think you just have a bad cold. Nothing we can’t fix”
Zach nodded, feeling warmth under the blankets. “Sorry. I really was looking forward to today” he muttered.
“Oh, don’t even worry! We had a great summer, anyway. Now, let’s get you better” she said kissing him on the forehead.
See more of Zach and Kylie!
LOVE SICK
#Zach and kylie#my ocs#sickfic#my sickfics#sicktember#sicktember my ocs#headache sickfic#zach has a cold#sicktember 2021
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
Summary: Alex has a cold and it’s making his childhood asthma act up, his friends are worried about him, but he’s used to handling things on his own.
A/N: This fic takes place around season 3. The song title is from the Bon Jovi song I’ll Be There For You. There might be a second chapter or a sequel if enough people are interested. @honeybee-babe enjoy! You can also read this on Ao3 here.
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,423
He couldn’t breathe through his nose, and his head was throbbing.
That was the first thing Alex noticed when he woke up on a rainy Friday morning in early November on Meredith’s couch. He had a 48-hour shift ahead of him, though, and he didn’t have time to deal with it.
Pushing himself to his feet, Alex made his way to the bathroom with the duffle bag he brought, closing the door in Izzie’s face with a sly smirk as the blonde huffed at him.
“Come on, Alex! You’re gonna take forever in there!” she called through the door, causing Alex to roll his eyes in annoyance.
“Calm down, Iz, I’m just gonna take a quick shower and brush my teeth,” Alex yelled back hoarsely before he turned to the medicine cabinet, opening to search for some type of pain reliever or cold medicine.
Spotting some Tylenol, he quickly checked the expiration date, noting how it was almost outdated. Shrugging, he shook two into his hand and swallowed the pills dry before he turned the water on in the shower to hot.
He stripped quickly as steam filled the room, hoping that the warm air would help clear his inflamed sinuses.
Alex made quick work of his shower and teeth brushing. Finishing in the bathroom in under ten minutes before he went back into the hallway, a few coughs slipping past his lips when the cool air entered his lungs. A harsh contrast to the steam he was just in.
“That cough sounds bad. Are you okay?” Izzie asked as she reached out for his arm, frowning when Alex immediately moved away from her hand and passed her down the hallway.
“I’m fine. Just a throat tickle,” Alex explained, voice tight to keep from letting out another wheeze as he quickly made his way down the hall and back down to the kitchen for some coffee. He wrinkled his nose, however, at the sight of Meredith and Derek kissing.
“It is way too early to see you two sucking face.”
“You don’t live here. Therefore, you can’t comment on it,” Meredith shot back with a grin as she pulled back from Derek. Her grin quickly disappeared when she took note of how pale Alex’s face was and how his shoulders seemed to heave with every breath he took.
“You look like shit. Are you hungover from last night?”
Meredith made her way over to where Alex was pouring a mug of coffee and reached out to press the back of her hand to his forehead.
“You’re a little warm. You’re also wheezing, and you sound congested. Are you sick?” she asked, scrunching her brows together in concern.
“I’m not hungover, and I’m not sick. It’s probably just my asthma from the weather change,” Alex lied easily as he tried pushing her hand off of his forehead with a glare.
“That’s still not good. I didn’t know you have asthma. Do you have an inhaler in your bag?” Meredith asked, glancing between Alex and the worn duffle bag on the counter, reaching for it carefully.
“Nope, it’s in my locker. It’s not a big deal though, I can breathe fine. It’s just a little wheeze, I’m still moving air, and this wheeze should go away once I get some coffee in me. The caffeine will be enough until I can take the meds,” Alex rolled his eyes as he looked at Meredith, giving Derek a pointed look to back him up.
Looking between his girlfriend and Alex, Derek sighed before his face softened as he looked over Alex.
“I’ve got to agree with Mer on this one. You sound awful,” Derek admitted. Grabbing Meredith’s spare stethoscope from the kitchen table, Derek slid the tips into his ears and pressed the base to Alex’s back after warming it up. “Take some deep breaths,” he stated firmly, leaving no room for argument from the younger male.
“This is ridiculous,” Alex rolled his eyes before he started to cough again, gripping the counter tightly. His chest was heaving when the fit was over as he tried to take a few deep breaths, Derek’s firm hand steadying him in place as the other listened to his lungs.
“Yeah, I don’t think your inhaler is really going to help at this point. I’m off this morning. I can go with Alex to the ER for a breathing treatment if you want to let Bailey know he won’t be on shift today.”
“D-don’t you think I should have a say in this?” Alex grumbled breathlessly as George and Izzie made their way into the kitchen for breakfast.
“What’s wrong with him?” George asked curiously as he glanced from Derek to Alex to Meredith, eyeing the stethoscope that Derek had looped back around his neck with a raised eyebrow.
“He’s sick. He was flushed and wheezing when I saw him after his shower in the hallway,” Izzie stated as she crossed her arms over her chest. Not even feeling the slightest bit bad for ratting out her friend.
“And his asthma’s acting up on top of it all. Whatever he caught has clearly settled itself into his lungs. He needs a nebulizer and probably some IV steroids for the tightness in his chest,” Derek stated as he handed Alex over to Meredith so she could lead him to one of the chairs at the kitchen table before he finished preparing the mug of coffee for Alex.
“Sip on this until we’re all ready to go. It’s not as good as your inhaler, but it should hold you over for a little longer. Did you take anything for your fever?” Meredith asked as she took the mug from Derek and handed it to Alex.
“Why didn’t you say that you weren’t feeling well?” George frowned in concern as he brought his own mug up to his mouth, having thought that the four of them, plus Cristina, had become closer since their internship had started.
Alex simply shrugged as he stared at his coffee, no longer interested in the beverage as the other four seemed to all be staring at him.
“I took two Tylenol, but they expire next month, so they might not be very effective. I didn’t want you all to worry, though. You all seem to like to coddle each other too much. I didn’t want or need to have you mother me,” Alex finally wheezed out as he ran a hand over his face in exhaustion, wincing when he tried to take a deep breath.
“Alex, you’re our friend. We’re always going to worry about you. Whether you like it or not,” Izzie sighed softly as she placed her hands on his shoulders to try and work out the knots she was positive were there from his strained breathing. “Now go put your shoes on so we can get you treated.”
Groaning, Alex shuffled to the living room to slip on his sneakers, sitting down on the couch when the tight feeling in his chest in his chest caused a wave of dizziness to fall over him.
Dropping his head to focus on catching his breath, Alex let out a shaky wheeze before he brought a hand up to his chest to rub at his sternum.
It was definitely getting harder for him to breathe, and though he’d never admit it to anyone. He was scared. He could deal with the bloodiest of surgeries at work, but asthma attacks always seemed to shake him to his core. It was that childhood fear that still lingered within him that one day he’d have an attack by himself, with his inhaler unable to help and he would suffocate. Alone. How he had lived most of his life.
“Ready to go?”
Alex lifted his head to look up at Meredith as she crouched in front of him, her hand resting gently on his heaving shoulder as a sign of support. I’m here for you. Meredith was always great under pressure, though he could see a softness in her eyes that was typically only reserved for Derek, Cristina, and her patients. In that order. And even though he resented her for pitying him, for caring about him when he’d been nothing but an ass to them all. There was just a small part of him that was thankful for having friends that seemed to genuinely care about his well-being.
“Y-yeah, I’m ready.”
And he was. For whatever life threw at him, because his friends were always going to be there for him.
#grey's anatomy#grey's anatomy fanfic#greys anatomy#greys anatomy fanfic#alex karev#meredith grey#derek shepherd#izzie stevens#george omalley
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Little Things in Life - 4
Warnings: cheating, non-consent sex (series); not the sex you’re expecting but it’s the sex you get.
This is dark!Steve and explicit. 18+ only.
Series Summary: Your suburban life begins to show cracks and your next door neighbour, Steve Rogers, seems intent on shattering what’s left.
Note: So I didn’t write at all yesterday. Dunno if I will today. My anxiety’s through the roof and I’m sorry to everyone waiting on different things. I see the asks and I’m doing my best. TBH I’m not in the greatest head space but I have up to part 5 done on this. Thanks to everyone for their feedback. :)
I really hope you enjoy. 💋
<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!
Based on this drabble
Your escape from the garage was uneventful. You beat Steve in the fourth match and excused yourself to the washroom. You hid in there for some time. You stared in the mirror at your glossy eyes. You didn’t look like yourself. You didn’t feel like yourself.
You were careful to avoid Steve for the rest of the night. He didn’t make it easy. Neither did Sharon. She found you in the beach chair staring at the water, a perfect excuse for her husband to get closer. Her husband.
Had you encouraged Steve without knowing? Been too friendly? Well, you would never expect the golden saviour of New York to betray his own wife. His perfect wife! Her blond hair, her long legs, her crystalline eyes. She was his match in everything and he could just do that. And what did you do but whine a little bit?
You found your husband among the crowd and cringed. He was cheating on you. And you just sat there and did nothing. Fucking his boss! Never home to help with Kayla; the most you could get out of him when he was was twenty minutes of distraction. Enough to do the dishes or vacuum the living room. You hated him. But you still loved him.
You dragged Logan home just after midnight. He was worse off than you. You barely got him up the stairs as he slung himself over your shoulder. He was heavy. He flopped face first into bed, sprawled diagonal across it. You turned his head over the edge and set a bucket beside him.
You slept on the couch. Twenty minutes before you awoke with vertigo and stumbled your way to the bathroom to spill your guts. It burned terribly and you felt as if your chest would collapse with each wretch. You fell back onto the cushions with a grunt and sank into an alcohol-laced slumber.
You woke to a nail in your skull. You sat up and it pushed deeper. You felt awful. Dirty. You looked in on Logan, snoring loudly into the pillow. You showered with a bottle of Tylenol and forced down a tall glass of filtered water. Your phone nearly burst your eardrums as it rang and you picked it up frantically before your head began to buzz again.
It was your mother. She was on her way to the McDonald’s in town. She wanted to take Kayla to the play place. You offered to meet her there to relieve her of her babysitting shift. You drove with sunglasses on and the radio off.
You were thankful when you arrived to Kayla already lost in the plastic tubes. You sat with your mother who shoved a mcmuffin in your direction. You took a gulp of coffee and scarfed down the sandwich.
“Jeez, this reminds me of your college days,” Your mother chided. “Sweats, sunglasses… wild night?”
“Long week,” You groaned and leaned on your elbow as you looked over at the playplace. “How was she?”
“An angel. As usual.” She said. “She was telling me about her friend Steve.”
“Our neighbour,” You mumbled into your coffee. “He’s… nice to her.”
“And you?” Your mother prodded.
You were silent as you set down your cup. You pushed up your sunglasses and rubbed away the dampness around your eyes with your knuckles. You’d not even known you were crying.
“What is it?” She reached across the table.
“Logan…” You sniffed. “He’s sleeping with his boss.”
“No,” Your mother’s breath wisped out of her. “Oh, honey.”
“I saw them a couple days ago and… I don’t know what to do. What to say.” You flipped your glasses back down. “I’m fucking pissed but I’m so fucking terrified.”
“How could he--” You mother huffed. “You know what I would do.”
“Yeah, mum,” You scoffed. “A kick in the balls?”
“And more,” She sneered. “Say the word and I’m going over right now and knocking him--”
“No, no,” You raised your hand. “I’ll… handle it. I just… I’m processing.”
You played with the string of your sweats as you crossed your legs. You thought of Steve and the pool table. You should tell her, but what would you say? You let another man finger you because you were mad at your husband? Two wrongs...
“You know, the guest room’s always open.” Your mother said. “For you and Kayla.”
“Kayla,” You uttered. “I couldn’t… you think he’d take her from me.”
“And what? Sounds to me like he’s so busy messing around, he doesn’t have time for either of you.” She rolled her eyes. “She told me he’s never home. That he’s always on his phone.”
“She’s too honest for her own good,” You shook your head. “Too innocent. I don’t know if I could put her through that.”
“And let her live with festering resent?” Your mother argued. “Look, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but you can’t do nothing.”
“I know,” You emptied your coffee and picked up a cold hash brown. “Just… don’t say anything.”
“To who?” She asked. “My walls.”
🏠
You pulled up to the house as Kayla played with the little elephant she’d gotten with her meal. As you climbed out and unbuckled her, you spied a familiar figure from your peripheral. You ignored it as you grabbed her bag and helped her out onto the pavement. You closed the door as you tried to keep your daughter on the other side of you.
“Steve!” Kayla peeked past you and waved to your neighbour.
“Kayla, come on,” You tried to nudge her up the walk but Steve was already on his way across the street.
“Hey, you guys,” You turned to him as Kayla ran forward to hug his leg. “Early morning. Surprised you made it past the front door.”
“Yeah,” You kept your eyes averted behind your shades. “Kayla, come on. We gotta go.”
“What’s the plan for today?” Steve asked as you reached for your daughter.
“Family time,” You said tersely.
“Mommy said I can paint butterflies on my wall!” Kayla said.
“Ooh, that sounds fun,” He smiled but barely looked at the girl. His eyes were set on you.
“Kayla,” You pulled her towards the door and unlocked it. “Your father’s upstairs. Go wake him up. I’ll be in in just a second.”
“But I wanna talk to Steve,” She argued.
“Go inside,” You opened the door and waved her in. “You go right upstairs and get your dad.”
She pouted but did as you said. You watch her amble up the carpeted stairs and you turned back to Steve as you heard her calling to Logan. You closed the door and stormed back towards him.
“Look, what happened last night was wrong and I never want to talk about it again,” You hissed. “And… I don’t want to talk to you.”
He smiled and shook his head.
“As far as I could tell you liked it. Wanted it.” He crossed his arms. “You’re just too afraid to admit it.”
“I have a husband.” You snarled.
“Who’d rather fuck some crusty lady in a pants suit than you,” He challenged.
“You have a wife. A newborn.” You scowled.
“I’ve learned a lot of things since I woke up in a whole new century. New lingo.” He tilted his head. “I’m sure you know what a ‘trophy wife’ is.”
“Is that what she is? Maybe you should tell her that.”
“Me and Sharon look good for the public. And for work. Suits never would’ve let me marry a civilian. We make a great little family.” He shrugged. “I gave her a baby. She got what she wanted and so did SHIELD.”
“I don’t believe you,” You said.
“I don’t care if you do. Sharon’s going back within the year. She misses the field. She misses a certain intelligence officer.” Steve said coolly. “It won’t be long before… well.”
“Listen, stay away from me.” You backed away from him. “I have enough going on.” You turned and grasped the door handle, paused as you looked back at him. “I can’t believe you. I really thought you were someone else.”
“Hey, I never said the propaganda wasn’t effective,” He winked. “I’ll see you around.”
You pushed inside and quickly closed the door. You pulled back the narrow curtain to look out through the frosted glass of the door. Steve’s hazy figure lingered until finally he retreated. Kayla’s voice drew you away.
“Mommy,” She called down the stairs. “Daddy’s sick.”
🏠
Logan was in bed for most of the day “recovering”. You left him to his sulking and helped Kayla paint her butterflies. The few times you passed by the room, you peeked through the small space between the door and the frame. He had his phone out. You could guess who he was texting. If you asked, he’d say work and it wouldn’t be an all out lie.
You put Kayla to bed and spent an hour in the living room watching re-runs before you found the nerve to go upstairs. Logan had a video running on his phone about homemade axes or some nonsense. You changed into a long tee and climbed into bed. You turned your back to him and closed your eyes.
“Sorry, babe,” He tickled your spine. “I drank way too much yesterday.”
“Mhmm,” You grumbled.
“You mad?” He asked.
“No,” You lied. “Hungover.”
“I should’ve helped with Kayla today,” He moped.
“So why didn’t you?” You snapped.
“You are mad.” He said.
Not about that, you thought.
“I’m just tired.” You said.
“Next weekend, we’ll do something with Kayla together.” He coaxed. “Take her to the aquarium. Oh, and Steve texted me. Him and Sharon want us to come over for dinner on Thursday. I told him I’d try to move some things around at work.”
“Thursday,” You repeated. “Alright.”
“You sure you’re okay?” His hand strayed to your hip.
“I just need to sleep it off,” You tapped his hand. “I’m fine.”
🏠
You woke up not shortly after you fell asleep. It was dark and the bed next to you was empty. You sat up and checked the time. It wasn’t even one in the morning. A slat of light escaped from your attached bathroom and you threw your legs over the edge of the mattress.
You tiptoed to the door and peered in. Logan was naked before the mirror as he held up his phone to take a picture. You wanted to scoff at how he flexed. He wasn’t as fit as he used to be, but neither were you. He snapped the pic and sent it with a devious grin. You saw his screen flash with a response shortly after.
You felt the air rush out of you but could only back away and slink back to bed. It was ten minutes before he returned. He crawled under the blanket and pressed himself to your back. He was hard. His hand tickled your thigh and he played with the hem of your tee shirt.
“Babe,” He cooed gently. “Babe…” He continued as until you pretended to stir. “I forgot to tell you how great you looked yesterday in those shorts.”
“Logan, it’s late,” You grumbled but his hand brushed along your small patch of hair.
“Come on, babe,” He purred as he nuzzled the back of your neck. “It’s been… a while.”
You were quiet as he poked his fingers down and forced them between your legs. You flinched as he pushed on your clit.
“Babe,” He said again.
“Mmm,” You mumbled.
He pushed against you again and you sighed. You arched into him and let him lift your leg. He prodded your entrance and impaled you slowly. It was painful as you were barely aroused. You just wanted to be done with it. You knew he didn’t want you; he’d just gotten himself riled up and needed a release.
When he was at his limit, he gasped. His fingers slid off your clit as he began to thrust and he was toying with the crook of your leg rather than any part of your cunt. You grabbed the corner of your pillow and turned your face into it. He moved faster and faster as he quickly approached his peek.
You held back the tears as he jolted your entire body. You felt the warmth burst inside of you as he gave a pathetic moan. He spasmed a few times and slipped out of you. He rolled onto his back and gave your ass a tap.
“Mmm,” He hummed. “That was good.”
“Y-yeah,” You carefully shimmied to the edge. “I gotta go clean up.”
“Dirty girl,” He purred and you quickly fled to the bathroom, his cum dripping down your thighs.
You closed the door and sat on the toilet. You wiped yourself clean with tissue and let out the pressure which had built in your bladder. Finished, you remained as you were. You hung your head and covered your mouth with your hand as you began to cry. You were such a coward.
#Steve Rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#dark steve rogers x reader#dark!steve rogers x reader#fic#au#dark fic#dark!fic#the little things in life#mcu#marvel#captain america#series#suburban au
425 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ballad of The Nightmare: Spike Spiegel x Reader
A/N: hello! This is my first fanfic I’ve ever written or posted and I am so scared! I’m a Spike whore which is why I made this blog. There aren’t enough Spike fanfics/imagines anywhere and it kills me! Shoutout to @ificouldhelpyouforget for having the best Spike writing! If there are any other great ones I’m probably missing please send them my way. Anyway I hope people read and like this, requests are very much welcome:) would love to hear some feedback. I have a part 2 coming if people actually enjoy this!
ps There’s an episode reference and I’m aware Faye wasnt actually in the scene I talk about but it’s just for spice✨
Summary: You’re a part of the bebop crew and after seeing Spike fall from the cathedral window while fighting Vicious, you have a nightmare about the whole ordeal ending way worse than it did and go check on his injured self.
Warnings: a bit of violence, non detailed but mention of wounds, angsty, fluffy, a little language
Vicious was running, running straight toward me with fire in his eyes. He was an animal and there was no stopping him, he was so close to grabbing my black coat trailing behind me. Arms suddenly shove me away from him and I tumble down to the ground. It was an armed green haired figure in his long brown coat. A quick scream came out of my mouth as soon as I realized what he was doing and my voice felt gone. “SPIKE NO” I managed to let out but it was too late, his gun was flung away from him. Vicious had him pinned to the ground ready to shred him to bits with his Katana. I was shooting and shooting from the ground but nothing could stop vicious. His whole body was bulletproof in that moment. In midst of his struggle Spike slowly turned his head to look at me, the katana was against his chest about to go against our wishes. “I love you” he mouthed and I had started sobbing uncontrollably screaming his name for the last time.
Feeling like she was being watched y/n’s body shot up, waking almost immediately as soon as the katana started to cut into the chest of her green haired angel. Burying her head into her hands and knees, her head continued to throb the headache from just a few hours earlier. Images of Spike’s bandaged body from his fall at the cathedral just the night before kept flashing in her mind.
She was very bitter at Faye for leaving him by himself and wouldn’t stop yelling at her once they got on the bebop with Spike and his broken bones. Every time Spike was seriously hurt he would try not to dump his whole weight on to y/n’s side but this round he did. He was nearly lifeless and it scared the shit out of her .
Shivering, she sighed a defeated puff out of her mouth. “stupid good for nothing bitch” she breathed out. She loved Faye like a sister but hated the choices that girl would make sometimes.
I sat up slowly and got out of bed. In just my night tank and shorts I threw on a light jacket and quietly stepped out of my room, closing my door slowly and being mindful of Spike resting on the big yellow couch just a few feet away. I really needed pain relievers but I also really needed to check on him. My heart ached no matter how many times ive seen him in this condition. I worried for him all the time and this nightmare didn’t help. Heading straight to the kitchen first, making sure I made zero noise I took a Tylenol and gulped it down with water and hurried to go be with my sleeping beauty
With the intention of feeding Spike if he woke up I had an orange and a water bottle in hand. I crept slowly out of the kitchen in the dark with nothing but Ed’s monitors being my only source of light. I turn the corner and there he was, bandaged like a mummy, multiple cuts on his cheek. He was snoring very lightly with his lips parted. He looked like an Angel who just fell from the sky. I frowned and sat on the coffee table barely a few inches across from him and stared. Stared into his closed eyes, begging for them to lift up. He was in a deep sleep. I took in the rest of his body and fought so hard not to touch it. I loved seeing his bare chest and collarbones any time I could, even if they were covered in gauze. At the end of his hour long workouts I always made sure I was in the living room so I could see his bare torso and pulsing veins when he headed toward the shower. Hopefully he hadn’t caught on to that. He’d always smile when he’d see me and give me the usual “take a picture itll last longer” comment. He was a flirt and so was I but we never really touched each other. Only when it came to saving the other’s ass.
I recall the time we were in Ganymede and there was a shootout in a restaurant involving this cult rat group of siblings. Jet, Faye, Spike and I were having dinner and spying on our next hit. Out of nowhere bullets started flying everywhere and the four of us booked it under the table. As soon as I got under, Spike pulled my arm into him very quickly and held me to his chest, wrapping his arms around my head to protect it. Soon his whole body consumed me. That was the first time I’ve ever felt so safe in my life. But why didn’t he hold Faye instead? Or at least the both of us? She’s a woman too? I kept thinking afterward. I didn’t ask him in fear of the moment being ruined but you can count on Faye to say what everyone’s thinking. Spike ignored her and Faye ignored the both of us the rest of that day.
I didn’t realize I was smirking til my attention was brought back to Spike’s injuries. Blood was seeping through the bandages of his left arm, I gently grazed his wrist and opened his arm up to rest on my thighs. Carefully grabbing the emergency kit left next to me I began to wrap it up some more as it wasn’t time yet to change the bandages completely. Being very gentle I studied his face for movement, but nothing. I loved tending to him, all I wanted to do was take care of him. I softly place his arm back where it was and a breath of relief washed over me for not waking him. He’d probably think I was a weirdo if he found me here right in front of him rustling my fingertips gently through his hair. Although he did like it when I would do that whenever he’d fall asleep in random places on the Bebop and I had to wake him up to go to bed. I giggled softly at the memories and missed his voice and soft demeanor towards me.
“I miss you” I whispered, my finger tips still playing with his dark curls
I noticed my legs trembling out of lack of sleep. I shamelessly really wanted a smoke. Hesitant to leave him and without even thinking I kissed his forehead and snuck into his room and stole one cigarette. His scent consumed me the second I stepped in and I wanted nothing more than to stay in there.
I walked out and promised myself as soon as morning came i’ll fly out to Mars and get him a few more packs. I never owned any which is the funny part, Spike would always just give me his when he’d know I needed one.
I walked into the dark control center and peered out into the universe and lit the cancerous thing. I turned away from the windows and lounged on top of Jet’s shogi table. Feeling my back giving out, I laid down grimacing at the slight soreness my back pleaded. Feeling an empty void in my chest I mentally begged for Spike’s precense there with me. My eyes started to water.My biggest fear was him ending up dead before I told him how I felt about him.
I sat up as the tears started streaming faster and dabbed them away with my sleeve and I proceeded to consume myself in nicotine once again. I looked to my right and peered at Spike’s punching bag. Wanting nothing more than to be sitting here watching him release his anger on it when he would do so.
A knock came from the doorway
Oh shit
#cowboy bebop#spike spiegel#anime#gif#fanfic#fan fiction#spike spiegel imagine#cowboy bebop fan fiction#fluff#angst#angsty
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (2/17)
Summary: “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice. At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“
Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.
Note: As always, feedback is very much appreciated.
Link to cross-postings: AO3
Other Chapters: 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
"Hey! Are you alive?"
Levi's body was on fire. Another type of pain, added to the list that only grew longer and longer the more mornings he woke up to.
It was new. In the grand scheme of things though, it was routine. When Levi woke up, the pain was already fading into a distant memory. He knew it could be easily soothed with a Tylenol and a few more minutes in bed. He had to press his face harder into the pillow, focusing on the feeling of cloth and cotton on his face to get a grip on his reality. He wanted to hear that voice again but at the same time he wanted to escape that pain.
That voice was familiar. Levi was sure when he showed up for training she would be there, and he could listen to her again. He ended up adding salt to the wounds though as he remembered the last few things he had said to her the night before.
It could have been from the stress of the whole ordeal or the embarrassment of having blurted out a bunch of nonsense.
Who the hell are we escaping from? Levi had scrambled for an answer then. What came out were a string of words he wished he had never said.
“Nothing.”
“Hey, I’ve spent a lot of time talking, I wanna learn something about you too.”
“My life is none of your business.”
She had kept quiet soon after. As Levi recalled how she had offered to take him home, he only buried his face further into the pillow. A part of him thought that maybe if he deprived himself of oxygen enough, he could forget the conversation between them.
“How far is your house from here? I’ll take you home. It’s my fault you got injured anyway.”
“It’s fine.”
“You sure you’ll get home safe?”
“Why do you care? We just met. I couldn’t care less either if you got home safe or not.”
We just met. Obviously I wouldn’t care too much about her. His meager justification did nothing to placate the guilt that had taken over him, leaving him unable to move.
He remembered the face she had made before he turned away and limped home. He had thought to himself then that maybe she just wore her heart on her sleeve. Most people probably would have thought the same thing as they saw the way she bit her lip and looked away. She could have been about to cry. Levi could not help but think though that she wouldn’t. Her mental resilience is stronger than that. Levi just knew.
Either way, Levi still regretted his actions that night. He spent the next few minutes in bed gathering himself up mentally for his morning training. As he pushed himself into a sitting position and planted his feet on the floor next to his bed, he felt his knees protest at the weight. At that moment, the dull pain on his palms also made themselves known.
Of course it wouldn’t heal. How long has it been 12 hours? When injured, most of his teammates could easily skip training with little to no consequences, as long as they sent a text. Most of his teammates still showed up anyway to watch. Feeling a little guilty for having skipped training just yesterday, Levi decided to show up anyway.
It was a force of habit more than anything for Levi to throw his jacket and shorts on, grab his gym bag and hurry to the track as soon as he saw the first signs of the sun about to rise. In fact, he only realized how completely useless it was to be thirty minutes early when he was already sitting alone in the empty clubroom, entertaining himself by looking for patterns in the stains and discolored blots on the ceiling.
He considered going back to the dorm and just informing his coach on his recent injury. He had already exited the clubroom when he decided otherwise.
The track stretched out in front of him, illuminated by the dim light from the sunrise. The morning was notably cooler and Levi remembered that summer was ending soon, if it hadn’t ended yet. The days would only get colder and classes were starting next week. How long would he be able to enjoy a morning walk without having to wear an extra layer or without considering how he could fit in a shower before his next class?
Levi ignored resistance of the stitches on his knees and the stinging pain of sweat and bandages rubbing against his palms, allowing himself a slow jog around the oval. He promised himself instead to sit out the rest of the training. His coach would probably stop him anyway when he sees the state of Levi’s hands and knees.
“Levi!”
It turned out Levi was right. Time had gone faster as Levi focused on the rhythm of his breathing, the cool wind that brushed past him and the scenery that blurred past him. Also, his coach had stopped him as soon as he arrived.
“What happened to you?” Greg gave Levi a onceover before shaking his head.
“I fell while jumping on the hurdles.”
“Get that checked. I’m not allowing you to join training until you see a doctor.”
Levi looked down to see blood seeping from the white of the bandages. His stitches split open. He could barely give his coach a nod, too disappointed by being forced out of training, a little angry at Hange for indirectly causing that energy, too conflicted by his own feelings. He grabbed his phone which he had left on the table next to the track and walked away from the track.
He had to grab the gym bag he left in the club room. He made sure to take the long way back, the scenic route with more trees than people. Having just been told off by his coach, having been barred from training, Levi felt like he was taking a walk of shame and he preferred not to run into anyone else.
He checked his phone. It was six in the morning. The university clinic opened at eight. He could kill those two hours quickly in the empty clubroom while everyone was training. By the time they finished morning training, he would be on his way to the clinic.
He had plans of just lying on the bench for the next two hours, exhausting all the content in all of his social media timelines and maybe getting into some other Wikipedia or article black hole. On his way to the clubroom, he set his alarm for 7:45 that morning.
As he arrived in the clubroom though, he found himself occupied by something else.
Everyone in the club always put their stuff away in the cubbyholes to the side. There was more than enough space for everyone. Yet somehow, even with three cubby holes open, someone had decided to leave their bag half open on the floor with what looked like half its contents spilling out.
Levi gathered what had spilled out. He had the option of just dropping it into the bag leaving the problem of organizing it to the owner. His fastidiousness took over though and Levi found himself spreading out the contents of the bag and putting it into the bag in a way that would have made it take the least space in the cubby.
“Sorry. I forgot my phone in my bag.”
Levi heard footsteps and voices just outside the clubroom and it was only then was he become aware of the fact that he had invaded someone’s privacy. He hurriedly pushed the contents of the bag into the nearest cubbyhole.
His hands though were not at their strongest, still sore from the accident last night. It was at the moment the door opened did the bag fall again on the floor, its contents spilling out, more haphazardly and messily than he had found it.
He looked up at the door to see Hange and behind her, another student.
"Levi…" Hange’s mouth was turned up in a smile but her eyes were expressing otherwise.
Levi wondered what he looked like crouched down next to her bag, with its contents spread out all over the room. From the way Hange was staring at him, he guessed he could have even looked like a criminal. "I made a rule here. All bags go in the cubbyhole," Levi tried to keep an authoritative tone as he said it, maybe it could make up for the compromising position they had found him in, somehow.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry." Hange rushed beside him, carelessly gathering things into one bundle.
Levi noticed she kept herself a polite distance from him, purposefully pushing her bag into one of the cubbyholes farther away from where her bag had fallen.
"Just don't mess up the clubroom again."
Levi lay back on the bench as soon as the door closed behind him and propped his phone on his face. He could not even bring himself to even turn it on and lazily scroll through some timeline. As he listened to the footsteps get further away, Levi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The rush of incomprehensible emotions had left him cold as he lost one of the few opportunities he did have to talk to her.
Why? Why couldn't I chase after her?
A part of him wanted to run after her, apologize then maybe thank her for last night.
A part of him was also just as pissed off with the chain of events. He was injured. He couldn't train. The club room was a mess. Hange had something to do with all of it.
His four years living in his own tiny island with only training and studies keeping him company had left him unable to process the strong emotions that came with human interaction.
Why does she make me so angry?
He was aware that he was abrasive and sometimes too frank. It had never bothered him then. He had always believed that it was also the other party's responsibility to handle their emotions well. Hange had handled it better than many other people in similar positions yet...
Why do I care that it hurt her? How the hell did I say something so offensive so wrong? In fact despite his inability to express a lot of feelings, Levi did care enough about people to check on injured teammates and help grandmas cross the street.
He turned his phone on, deciding to occupy himself with Twitter for the next two hours. Watching people fight online was oddly calming.
A Tale of Two Slaves
By the time Levi made it to the university clinic, the bandages on his knees were bloody. The red buds had bloomed into adult flowers. Underneath, the stitches had to be redone, and Levi was prescribed antibiotics to prevent infection.
One of the nurses offered to go out of campus to buy it for him. Levi hid under the covers of one of the vacant beds in the nurse's office while waiting. The clinic was empty save for one nurse and one doctor with not many students living on campus just yet.
Levi found himself going through his timeline first, then articles on dreams.
By the time the doctor had checked on him, to ask him if he had plans to at least take a late lunch, Levi was in a black hole with 50 tabs open. They weren't about dreams or were they from random links he had found on his timeline.
They were all about Hange Zoe, pages worth of articles with pictures of her at varying ages. The awards varied, some were in the form of certificates, others as trophies. The girl behind them all was the same chestnut haired girl with that same overenthusiastic glint in her eyes.
Kid whiz Hange Zoe bags gold in the city wide
Governor congratulates the representative to the national Science symposium.
7 year old genius has big plans for the future.
Hange Zoe talks about future plans. "I want to test the physical limitations of the human body."
I wanna see how far we can throw, how fast we can run, how high we can jump, how high we can fly.
"Fucking stupid. Humans can't fly." Levi muttered to himself. He sat up in bed and checked the time at the corner of his phone.
3:00pm.
Afternoon training would generally start at five. He had time for a late lunch. Or dinner.
Nothing in the university was open though and the raw stitches on his knees continued to ache. Levi found himself staying in the club room two hours before training was to start, having Mcdonalds delivered instead at the doorway of the clubroom.
A few times he had heard footsteps by the door, he stood up the first two times, just to check who it had been. The clubrooms were lined up near the athletics area. All the sports teams hung around that area, he should not have been too surprised to realize that none of the foot traffic in that hour were from anyone in his team. In fact, he should not have expected that any of them would have been Hange.
Why the hell am I looking for her anyway?
Levi shifted to his side. The bench did not give him much room to roll completely and Levi found himself having to grasp at the sides to stay on the bench and avoid falling painfully on the ground and further aggravating his stitches.
With his two hands occupied, it became a choice. Either his knees or his phone was to take the impact of the ground beneath him. He chose to sacrifice his phone.
As Levi reached out to grab his phone from under the bench a few seconds later, he came across a small trinket on the floor. It was a ring was covered with purple cloth, the middle of the ring covered with some sort of web. The borders were lined with feathers, soft to his touch. Levi wondered whether the feathers were real or not.
Levi sat back on the bench and brought the keychain closer to his eyes. It turned out the ring was not covered in cloth. It was covered in threads so pressed closely to each other, from afar it had looked like one surface. He carefully traced the dark green strings that were interwoven so tightly around the purple cloth, no pattern was the same, no hole was of the same size or shape. It could have been homemade.
Who the hell left this here? Levi took a picture with his phone and sent it to the team chat.
Lost and Found.
Most had denied owning it. For a while Levi suspected that they could have been scared he would get mad. He knew he had a reputation when it came to cleaning and clutter. He was considering adding that he wasn’t angry eventually deciding against it. Would they believe him anyway?
One of the med students probs.
So it’s Hange’s? It was an excuse to message her at least. Before Levi could even process what he did, he had searched Hange’s name on Facebook.
No account. He would have at least expected to find a profile with one or two mutual friends. They went to the same school after all. He checked the school supergroup to find that no one there was named Hange Zoe.
So she doesn’t have an account?
He looked through other groups built for their team. He looked for a medical students group, looking one by one at the profiles for a familiar face. One of the profiles had the face of the blond man who was behind Hange when they had found him that morning.
Levi had a habit of forgetting faces. The awkwardness and the embarrassment he had gone through had only made that memory more vivid in his mind. That vividness at least was the reason why he had found a lead to Hange.
Moblit Berner.
He clicked add friend and sent a picture of the keychain through chat.
Found this in the clubroom. Might be one of your friends?
It’s Hange’s.
Probably fell when her stuff got scattered on the floor.
Okay, will give it to you when you get here.
As Levi soon found out, the students were all out of campus and had no plans to visit training that afternoon at all. The main reason why they had showed up in the morning instead.
Levi scolded himself for not even bothering to learn their schedule. Maybe it could have alleviated his disappointment even a bit. Seeing no reason to be there in the clubroom anymore. Levi dropped a message in the chat, mentioning something about injuries and rest.
He wasn’t lying. His stitches were fresh. His palms hurt. More importantly. He was recovering from a painful bout of disappointment.
We’ll be there tomorrow morning though.
Ok see you there.
Levi had plans of making it up to his coach the next morning by being extra early anyway.
A Tale of Two Slaves
I wonder what types of titans we'll get to meet today...
It was a beautiful morning. Or possibly, it was just a relatively beautiful morning when compared to all the others where Levi had to lie in bed for an hour or so just to forget the pain and the shock of dreams he could not even remember to function.
That morning he had awoken with a burst of energy and a motivation that followed suit.
I wanna talk to Hange.
The only stopping him then was the awareness of how stupid and rash it would be to make friends just because he had such a vivid dream about them.
Section Leader Hange Zoe.
Special Squad Captain Levi .
They worked too closely in his dreams. She was constantly happy, constantly annoying. She was comfortable. She had made him feel excited, calm, annoyed, an incomprehensible and tumultuous storm of emotions. The dreams were too lifelike, realistic and vivid to have just been dreams.
Was she the reason for the painful mornings? Was she the reason Levi found himself so particularly confused around her? So abrasive? So conflicted?
Levi quickly changed into his clothes, grabbed his gym bag and rushed to the track. He did not bother to check his phone for the time anyway. The sun was rising and Moblit had said the night before. They’ll be there.
He used the walk to the track to process further the emotions that had been running through him since he remembered the dreams.
His name was Levi Ackerman. He was a soldier. They fought these giant zombie creatures. Hange managed another team but they were stationed close and that was how they had gotten close in the first place.
It felt like some sort of roleplay Levi could just easily put into words and post online. He wondered if that’s what it felt like to be a writer. Do stories come to writers and artists in dreams just like that? Levi had considered writing it all out, completely disowning that thought after he remembered he was shitty with words.
He probably would never channel those emotions into words or to art. Regardless, the determination to make sense of it was unwavering. Despite his awareness of the amount of stress he had caused her the past few days, the nagging self consciousness of having exposed that many facets of personality to someone, Levi was sure he wanted to talk to her. It was too strong. She must have felt it too. Maybe that’s why she was too friendly? Too touchy?
As Levi soon found out, she was touchy with a lot of other people. If Levi had checked his phone that morning, he would have seen that training was starting soon. With autumn coming, the nights were long and the sun was rising later.
Hange was there, by the side of the track, her arms around Elijah, one of his other teammates and fellow seniors. From where he stood, Levi could not tell if she was joking or not, but he could not help but note, he had never been the object of that playful smile she gave Moblit who stood next to her with a clipboard in hand.
“Hey Four Eyes.” Levi did not need to muster up any courage to approach her. The irritation he felt at seeing her arm around someone else, that playful smile directed at Moblit provoked him enough.
Hange’s face quickly fell as she made eye contact with him. Levi’s stomach followed suit, suddenly painfully aware of the shit he had put her through the past few days.
“Oh yeah, Levi found your dream catcher in the clubroom.”
The keychain! Levi had completely forgotten to bring it with him.
“Sorry about leaving it there. I shouldn’t have been too careless.” Hange’s smile was careful and rehearsed, a far cry from the one she gave Moblit only a while ago.
“I don’t have it with me now though since I had to rush here.” Levi was sure the excuse was understandable. A lot of his teammates were already warming up in the middle of track. “I could bring it later this afternoon?”
“Actually, we probably won’t be going back here for a while. We gotta prepare with classes starting soon and we got all the information we need anyway.” Moblit explained. “So we’re gonna invite some athletes out for an interview then work closely with them.”
“About the keychain...” Yes, the keychain. I need to meet Hange again and give it to her.
“You can give it to Elijah here.” Hange suggested. “Or maybe...Moblit? If you’re okay working with him.”
Why Moblit? My teammate, Elijah? “Wait why?” Levi’s mind was racing with questions. The shock and confusion had left him a little disconnected from his surroundings. He almost did not notice the way Hange had pulled him to the side of the track. Suddenly, it was just the two of them, on the corner, out of earshot from everyone else.
“This is probably the last time we’re gonna meet so I’ll be honest with you.” Hange took a deep breath. “I really wanted to work with you for my thesis but yeah I guess… with what happened the past few days I kinda realize maybe we just aren’t compatible and we might just end up driving each other crazy.” Hange added a small laugh to that cold and rehearsed smile she was giving him. It only added salt to the wounds she was already opening up with her speech. “And I guess I should have noticed this before but you really don’t like me do you? I’m sorry if I couldn’t give the best first impression.”
No… I really like you. You gave a great first impression. Like always, even when Levi had wanted to say it, the words had gotten lost somewhere in its journey from mind to mouth.
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
Because where I work is considered essential (and because IT in particular is considered essential, and I work in IT), I’ve already received both doses of the Covid-19 vaccine. I thought I would share my experiences with the vaccine here in case anyone wants to hear about it from a regular person on a personal blog rather than a big media outlet or other professional source.
TL;DR: Get the vaccine, please get the vaccine, it is worth it.
Longer version:
As you may or may not know, I am a hermit, so I’m basically in my house any time when I’m not forced to be out of my house, meaning quarantine didn’t really disrupt my normal life at all. In fact, it let me work from home which I considered to be an improvement. I bring this up because it means that at no point did I ever get Covid. What this means is that when it came to the first round of the vaccine, here’s what happened:
1st Round Side-Effects: None! Aside from the standard sore arm at injection point.
My body had never seen Covid before, so it didn’t know what to expect and had no reaction at first except for, well, something along the lines of this:
Vaccine: [arrives with Covid protein]
Immune System: “Oh, I don’t like that. I don’t like that you brought that in here. I’m going to make preparations so you can’t do that again.��
So then a couple weeks passed and I got the second vaccine. When I got the second vaccine, the nurse who gave me the shot pointed to a free sheet I could take that listed all the side-effects to expect, as well as a sticker (similar to an “I Voted” sticker, but this time it’s an “I Got the Covid-19 Vaccine” sticker). I took the sticker but left the informational sheet, because I didn’t have side-effects the first time and figured that I wouldn’t have any the second time.
This was a mistake.
Because you see, this time my body recognized the Covid protein, and so the response was basically:
Vaccine: [arrives with Covid protein]
Immune System: “I think the fuck NOT you trick-ass bitch!! Get the FUCK out of my house this goddamn INSTANT, I am firing up the BAZOOKAS, you are NOT WELCOME HERE!!”
And as a result, I have experienced the following side-effects:
— Body Aches: General muscle pain, which I have all the time anyway, but also random stabbing pains all over my body. These were sharp enough to wake me up from sleep yesterday morning.
— Headache: Honestly I have nearly daily headaches anyway due to a car accident I had like a decade ago (apparently this kind of trauma stays with you), but it’s been more pronounced as through my entire head than normal, plus with the addition of the aforementioned spiky pains up there.
— Nausea: The nausea also woke up at like 6am yesterday, and I took some Pepto Bismol to try to get rid of it, but it didn’t work. The nausea persisted along with the pain.
— Vomiting: I threw up once at 8am yesterday as a result of the aforementioned nausea. Thankfully I have not experienced either nausea or vomiting since. However, that may be because . . .
— Loss of Appetite: I haven’t wanted to eat anything since yesterday! I’ve tried, oh how I’ve tried. Yesterday I had half a cup of chicken noodle soup and two pieces of sourdough bread with butter on them. Today so far I’ve had half a cup of broccoli cheddar soup with two pieces of sourdough bread dipped in. I’m also now having a milkshake to try to get some calories in me. It’s been a struggle.
— Allodynia: This might be more of a “me” thing than a side-effect thing because I don’t see this listed with normal Covid-19 vaccine side-effects, BUT it happens when I get sick. Essentially, since yesterday morning my skin has been very painful to the touch. On my scalp especially, but also down my arms, legs, chest, back — you name it, it hurts when I touch it, like having a bad sunburn or millions of papercuts all over my body. Sucks, man.
— Fever + Chills: I’ve had a fever, and as a result I’ve had chills! Ever wonder what it’s like waking up under a fleece weighted blanket, drenched in sweat but also still cold? It’s not fun. Don’t recommend it. (But my solution was still to put on heavier clothes and get under the blanket to sleep some more . . . I mean I wasn’t cold the next time I woke up but I don’t know if this was the smart solution.)
— Extreme Fatigue: Speaks for itself.
Yesterday was definitely worse than today. (For reference, I got the vaccine on Thursday, yesterday was Friday, today is Saturday. So this is Day 2.) Yesterday I was operating at 10% capacity at my best. Most of the day it was like 3% - 5%. Today it’s more like 40% - 50%. Definitely much better, but I still feel sick. I don’t count it as a real illness because I don’t actually have the Covid-19 virus in my body. It’s more that there’s a protein or something specific to Covid-19 that’s in the vaccine, and my immune system recognized it and decided to launch into ass-kicking mode. Unfortunately, the way the human body’s immune system works is that it doesn’t just 1v1 the virus. Instead it’s like, you know how people joke that they’re going to burn the house down to get rid of the spider when they find a spider in the living room? That’s what the immune system does. The immune system doesn’t grab a newspaper to smash the virus, the immune system sets fire to the body to kill the virus, and that’s what a fever is. And it sucks for all involved, but ultimately it’s worth it as long as you don’t die first. (Which is always a risk, but the immune system doesn’t care about that. The immune system just wants the spider / virus gone.)
Anyway, I write all of this out so that you can a.) know what to be prepared for and stock up accordingly, and b.) know that it’s still NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD as actually getting Covid-19. My best friend got Covid-19, and she was hospitalized and on oxygen for a week. She had cognitive issues, like memory problems, for longer. She is still sneezing up blood clots from what the oxygen did to her, among other things. And she’s one of the lucky ones. The side-effects remind me of when I got the flu back in 2018, except still not as bad because I’m getting over them much, much more quickly than I did the flu. However much these side effects suck, I’ve been managing them with the following:
— Gatorade: I’m one of those people that doesn’t like drinking water because it’s bland, so I had a Postmate bring me three big bottles of Glacier Freeze Gatorade and I’ve been chugging them. Gatorade is basically flavored sugar water so it replenishes your electrolytes and gets you hydrated. Is it as healthy as water? Due to the high sugar content, probably not. Does that matter when you’re at risk of dehydration because you’ve puked and are sweating out a fever? Nope! I’ve drank Gatorade whenever I get sick / dehydrated ever since childhood because my pediatrician recommended it to me back then. If you don’t like water, stock up on this in preparation.
— Advil: I always have Advil on hand because as I mentioned before, I get near daily headaches regardless. But Advil has helped not only with the muscle pains, but also with the fever reduction and the allodynia. These things have all come back when the Advil wears off, but it helps in the meantime. Other medicines, like Tylenol, can probably help too.
— Sleep: I had to work yesterday (from home), but any time I wasn’t answering an email or on the phone I was dozing off. When I ended my shift at 5:30pm I slept until 2am. I woke up long enough to drink some more Gatorade, take some more Advil, and let my dog out, and then I went back to sleep until 12:30pm. I think this is why I feel so much better tbh. Sleep is very healing. If you’re an adult who works, plan to take time off after your second vaccination if you can. You will thank yourself for it.
I did these same things when I had the flu, but it still took me two weeks to get to where I am now in two days. The second vaccine hits hard because your immune system takes things from 0 to 100, but it’s still not as bad as an actual virus, and definitely not as bad as being in the hospital on oxygen or, god help you, a ventilator. (Because my next-door neighbor, who was a nurse, told me that by the time you’re on a ventilator you only have a 30% chance of surviving. So you really do not want to get to that point.)
All in all, please get the vaccine. Yes, the side-effects suck. Trust me, I know! I couldn’t even really read an email yesterday because my brain kept fuzzing out over it. I went back to sleep at 2am because my eyes hurt too much looking at anything, so lying in the dark felt better. But I’m sure that in another day or two I’ll be back up at 100%. And in two weeks I’ll be fully protected. And that is so, so much better than being in the hospital on a ventilator.
So please, please, please get the vaccine when you can. For yourself, and for those who are immunocompromised who can’t. Stock up on Gatorade and painkillers / fever reducers and get the vaccine. It’s worth it.
20 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
tenebroum-a
* abyss / swallowed.
dreamingofrevelryyy-blog
Jaymee
candiedbohemian
Candied Bohemian
tenebroum-a
* abyss / swallowed.
zadf-in-space
ZADF in Space