#whom she is sleeping with in order to stop him from destroying everything
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i have a lot of bones to pick this chapter and i will get to that but i'm still really pressed by how rachel depicts kronos apparently grieving having to kill hera in her vision
rachel does this really gross thing where at some point in the narrative, she'll have the male abuser depict some kind of sadness in regards to his female victim, but it is not remorse. it really reads like whitewashing the abuse itself because "can't you see how upset the abuser is that he has to do this :("
apollo got that really disgusting pov chapter talking about his perspective on persephone after raping her and that was bad enough, but then you also see kronos and his relationship with hera being sanitized or even shipped, when hera said verbatim that he abused her and she did not want to sleep with him, she had hoped she could just charm him. the narrative explicitly points out that kronos is a chronic abuser - he kills or severely injures rhea in a fit of rage after using all her powers, he frequently drives away any nymph or consort who approaches him, and he spends who knows how long mentally torturing hera.
there's another essay tucked into that but i just find it so fucking egregious that rachel wants to portray kronos as being upset he has to kill hera because of his own feelings for her, when the fact of the matter is he is choosing to kill her, just like he chose to kill rhea, and swallow his sons, and tear hera in half. depicting an abuser (a serial abuser, in this case) as being upset over an action he's choosing to do for his own benefit is ... a choice, and a disturbing one. why are we centering the abuser in a sympathetic light when he is still ultimately abusing someone???
#anti lo#anti lore olympus#abuse ment /#just to be safe#it just strikes me as so ... backwards isn't strong enough it really disturbs me#esp considering the random ass sex scene in the next chapter and THOSE implications#but lo constantly just ... focuses time and energy on the male perpetuators of violence#and not on like ... their female victims lol#and if focus IS given to them it's handwaved away#demeter being tricked into having sex with zeus??? her frequent abuse from hades? nada#also hera saying ''i love you'' to a monster who is capable of killing her and everyone she loves#whom she is sleeping with in order to stop him from destroying everything#and people saying ''yeah that's a ship right there''#nothing in this rant is coherent these tags are a mess lmao
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Did they watch the same movies as us..? 🤦♀️
First, how can they blame Tony for not picking up the phone? After all that happened in Civil War?
- tony found out that his parents were murdered, and saw them die on video in front of him.
- he found out that his friend in whom he trusted knew about it, didn't tell him, and continued to lie.
- he ended up being betean with such hatred that they almost killed him, when they were already the ones who had just hurt him.
- and they leave him alone there with a dysfunctional armor, physically and psychologically hurt.
Plus, Tony was obviously going to call, (otherwise why would he take the phone with him everywhere he went, even when he was just going for a jog with Pepper?)
He just took a few seconds before calling the man who broke him (and never even apologized) Because yes, feelings exist..
And another thing, when will they understand that Tony signed the Accords to protect people? It was requested by 117 countries. Tony listened to them, and understood them. (he didn't feel above them or above the laws, unlike team cap.)
He did what he had to do, even if he was not really happy about it either, to protect the population from collateral damage.
And how can they compare Tony to Hydra.. If anyone here had anything to do with hydra, I'll just point out that Wanda actually joined them deliberately at one point. (not to mention that she also joined ultron and unleashed the hulk on a city..) And in order to "destroy", when Tony just did everything to "protect."
Finally.. when will they stop blaming his ego?? What ego? All I see is a broken man, who hates himself, blames himself for everything, and always puts others before himself without ever receiving anything in return.
Since I saw a lot of these antis these days.. here is a little reminder that
Tony Stark is absolutly NOT a villain ⬇️
IRON MAN 1: the first thing he notices when he's captured by terrorists is that they have his weapons and the harm they can do with them. And he prefers to be tortured and die than to do what they want. When he return to the US after months of capture, the first thing he does is to announce that he shut down stark industries because it was more important for him than his health. Then he take responsabity for what Stane did, risks his life to save everyone, and says he's rather DIE than not do that. And, he sacrifice himself to prevent Stane from using his suit.
IRON MAN 2: his arc reactor kills him and using the suit accelerates his poisoning but he continues to help people. he's going to die but he thinks of others, he gives his company to pepper, his collections to kids, and organizes the stark expo, to help science one last time. he does everything to keep his armors and prevent it from falling into the wrong hands. and at the end he goes at the expo with a new arc reactor and without a test. not knowing the risk. to get there faster and save everyone.
AVENGERS: he had been rejected from the avengers project but when the shield needs him he comes to help. (and he researches their purpose to make sure he's not helping the wrong people.) + he's the one who doesn't treat banner like a monster when everyone else did. he sacrifices himself again, sending the nuke into the wormhole. and the first thing he does after the battle of NY, is to transform his tower into the Avengers tower (with personalized floors for each of them) to give them a home and a family, and create organizations to protect people.
IRON MAN 3: he saw the aliens and he knows something is going to happen. he sacrifices his health, spending day and night without sleep, making new suits, to protect his loved ones and everyone. when his house exploded he save pepper and tells her to save maya instead of him. he has ptsd, anxiety attacks, nightmares, but never stops fighting, and when the mandarin arrives he goes to stop him. + he doesn't hesitate to remove his arc reactor and suffers to save the kid who bullied harley.
AVENGERS 2: wanda shows him a traumatic vision, his biggest fear, all his fiends dead. he knows that they will not be strong enough alone and wants to stop that from coming true, so he creates ultron/vision. he blame himself and always think he didn't do enough. he says that is the avengers die, he'd rather die with them. he couldn't bear to outlive them, and he sacrifices himself again in sokovia by going under the flying city and blowing it up.
CIVIL WAR: he listens to the 117 countries, he want everyone to be safe and sign the accords to prevent collateral damage. he save wanda bucky steve from jail, offer medical care for bucky and protect wanda from blame. (and he asks vision to stay with her because he knows she likes him). he does everything to avoid the fights and keep everyone together. he's injured, rhodey is paralized, they all betrayed him, but he still goes to help steve. and even after all that he continues to create new things for them, to protect them..
HOMECOMING: the first thing he does after he gets back from siberia, after all the trauma he's been through, is to take peter home. (peter was already spiderman and tony just gave him more protection with a new suit.) he watches over him, protects him, supports him. he asks him to stay away from danger, he takes care of him like his dad never did for him, he made everything he might need in his suit from his own experience, he teaches him to take responsibility. he doesn't want him to go through the same suffering he went through
INFINITY WAR: he did everything to protect everyone, even if they never listen and blamed him. during 6 years he constantly fears an attack, he carries steve's phone everywhere, he made new armors and even implanted a new arc reactor in his skin. he just wanted to live with pepper but when thanos arrives, he goes into space, alone, to face his biggest fear. he face him with his bare hand and he sacrifice himself, begging strange to let him die and not to give the stone for him.
ENDGAME: he's afraid to lose his family and he didn't want to die, but he's still going to help the avengers. even when he finally had a reason to live, when he has a home, a wife, daughter, that he was so close from happiness, he sacrifices all this for a world that doesn't even love him.
tony always did everything for the avengers, he always treated them like family, he made them equipment and took care of them, he did everything to keep them together.. even if they are not there for him, he's always there for them.
he's always full of attention for everyone like making them smoothies after battle, or remembers little details about them. he pays attention to the feelings of everyone and helps and comfort them. he always makes sure that they are okay.
he takes responsability for everything, creates organizations and the iron legion, pays to help repair the damage, gives scholarships, always takes care of people during battle, he evacuates the places, and when there's no time he keeps the danger away by drawing it towards himself.
he's always the one who suffers the most, he has been through the worst traumas but never stop. his priority has always been others. he sacrificed everything, his physical and mental health, his life and his happiness. always ready to risk his life, suffer and die to save everyone.
how can some people be so wrong about him.. how can they hate the man who does everything for his friends, his family.. who sacrifices everything for them and for absolutely everyone..?
this man has the biggest heart and the best soul 💖💖
#tony stark#iron man#tonystark#avengers#pepperony#endgame#morgan stark#tony stark defense squad#pepper potts#tony stark deserves better#i love tony stark#i miss tony stark
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though you weren’t mine [kmg]
—summary: new in town, with judgement following after every step she takes in life, the least she expects is to find a box filled with cd’s that reads ‘throw away’ written in messy handwriting on its cardboard surface. when looking at the videos, she realizes there is a highlight to her day—as if he was part of a sitcom, and his name is kim mingyu.
the downside? she doesn’t know where to find him. once existing in the same house as hers, no one knows where he went, but his smile remains petrified inside her head.
—title: though you weren’t mine
—pairing: kim mingyu x reader
—genre: photographer!au ; musical actress!au ; strangers to friends to lovers!au ; videocamera!au
—type: fluff ; angst ; suggestive ; romance ; drama ; humor ; slowburn
—word count: 25,891
—warnings: mentions of alcohol, death (though briefly), and past relationships.
Three onions. One head of garlic. Lettuce, clinging to the space in between his teeth and still, her seat companion in the train doesn’t close his mouth for the slightest bit.
As far as she knows—and it has been two hours of conversing with this man, so she’s knowledgeable enough to speak—, he worked in refineries. A little bit over seventy, with a white chemise cladding his body, tucked inside a pair of beige pants. The rounded glasses on the bridge of his nose keep falling, but he keeps playing with them as he speaks about the most miniscule of matters. For one, in 1997, his wife left him for his best friend, and secondly, his youngest is starting to look more like his (please, say ex) best friend with the passage of time.
Now, she is not a DNA expert, neither is she a fortune teller to be able to foresee the future when she got in this train, against her will, only to fulfill her biggest dream.
The city awaits her entrance, and when she gets there, she hopes to take a big bite of the world, mix dance and singing, along with acting, in order to further emphasize her spot in the industry. Break the malicious curse that follows everyone in her blood, only destroying their careers under the weight of their actions.
“And, you know what she did?” Licking the mayonnaise off his thumb after taking a big bite of his sandwich, the older male continues with his story as she lulls her head against the window. For one second, her eyes divert towards the pink clouds accompanied by lilac skies. Trees swing with the harsh wind, three days-worth of spending her time with Jinho over here sounding like the worst of experiences. “My daughter told me she doesn’t want to college after all. Can you imagine that? I paid for her education in four different majors, and she dropped out of all of them…because she wants to be, and hear me out,” As if she hasn’t been doing that for the entirety of the train ride. “A YouTuber.”
“Oh no.” Acting is her forte. Fake crying without a single droplet of water thrown at her face. Elongating words. Dramatics. All of the like—it’s what theater means, but at this point, her tiredness trails after her sentence. “Yeah, all that money…gone to waste…sir, that’s terrible.”
Just as terrible as the way he is eating this sandwich.
Smacking his lips once again, the man shakes his head. “What was your name again?” He asks, for the umpteenth time, and she lets her lips wrap around her name. She may change at this point, something easier, just so this man stops talking about himself and starts to be a proper companion instead. “Yeah, always be sure of what you’re going to do. There are millions of people you can disappoint, and they will tell you they will support you through everything and anything, but it’s a lie.”
“Ah-ha.” She drags, trying her hardest not to scrunch up her face. Instead, she rummages through the pocket of her black coat, looking for the perfect distraction that is her phone. “I think someone is calling me, Mr. Jinho, if you’ll excuse me.”
“Yes, yes!” The old man speaks quickly, taking the last bite of his sandwich only to speak with his mouth full after. “I hope it’s good news!”
After moving his legs from the side, she makes a bee-line towards the bathroom. Brown leather seats on each side of her, with people talking normally, softly, and yet, seemingly happier than her with her train ride. Her friends insisted on this—something of the like of ‘humbleness’ in their whole speech when giving her the train tickets that would take her to her newest pursue in life. Away from her well-known family, and the judgement that weights her down even when she opens the door to the bathroom and closes it behind her.
An unpleasant whiff of air has her sighing deeply. Great. The white tiled walls and sunflowers decorations do nothing to make her feel less like an outcast in this train. Though, she needs to sit down and look through her phone for a while, perhaps pee before getting out of there, and hoping that Jinho’s sandwich did its job in getting him to sleep. Her feet steps forward, putting down the toilet seat in hopes of not even seeing anything inside to compare to the smell in here, before taking a seat on top of the toilet.
Fuck my life, she thinks.
One day you’re at the top of the world, the next, you’re seated on top of a toilet with suspicious contents. Life, some call it.
As if the afternoon couldn’t get any worse, she unlocks her phone, a series of messages from her best friend appearing on the screen. God, she misses her. Leaving her best friend behind while having a medical emergency is one of the choices, she thinks she will never forgive herself for making. What kind of friend does that? She has no idea. Yet, Miyoung practically shouted at her to go follow that dream. The musical’s rehearsals started this month, and she couldn’t miss the opportunity of finally reaching proper stardom. Not word from mouth, but with actions instead.
Earlier, she had asked:
To: Miyoung.
How’s your foot doing?
Though, probably napping, it took Miyoung four hours to answer.
From: Miyoung.
Still connected to my leg, so far, so good.
But…haven’t you seen the news?
News? No. Well, if she’s not counting Jinho’s romantic history—and family timeline, at that—since 1991.
If the child isn’t really his…why would he be telling some stranger in the train?
To: Miyoung.
I was supposed to know any news?
From: Miyoung.
OMG.
Enter my account. Check your ex’s Instagram.
And tell me where we’re hiding the body.
Miyoung, God bless her, is the purest figure skater she knows. The woman follows everyone in social media without caring if they stepped on her heart with all her might, or did something to her friends. Her ex-boyfriend, a very famous comedian, is not the exception. While she had hit headlines for unfollowing him on social media—and vice-versa—, Miyoung does wonders on keeping her updated. Two weeks it has been since their break up, and she has never been readier to move on.
Though, upon opening his social media, she’s welcomed by the usual—parted black hair, curved eyebrows, downturned and bored eyes, with slim lips and a tall frame that bends against its will forward, his stance normally accompanied by baggy, stylish clothes that more often than not rake the smell of alcohol and weed. On this occasion, however, someone else clings by his side and the man does not have the utmost decency to make the picture a little bit less like it belongs to some raunchy college student’s Instagram profile.
His big hand, that linked with hers, and touched her skin in promises of forever, splays on top of the woman’s butt. Gorgeous in more ways than one, with long curled hair and a smile on her lips as he kisses her cheek. The worst part? That she dated someone who captioned this picture, with God-knows-what-kind-of-model, in the worst of ways.
Her stomach churns when she reads: “Here with the main bitch.”
Ugh. Delete all the kisses. Erase all the memories of ever sleeping with him. Create a time-machine so she can slap herself across the face and tell herself ‘he’s not even that funny, wake the hell up’.
To: Miyoung.
Ew.
From: Miyoung.
You don’t care?
To: Miyoung.
Of course, I care.
I kissed that.
I made out with that.
I let that fuck me.
From: Miyoung.
Sid-looking ass.
Fuck him.
All those times Miyoung told her not to date him, and there she was, making a fool of herself.
To: Miyoung.
We don’t judge people by their appearance here.
But he’s trash.
From: Miyoung.
Two weeks, girl.
It took him two effing weeks to get over you.
It shouldn’t hurt, right? Though, her heart contracts a little at the touch of disappointment. Never had she trusted someone as much as she did with her ex, and there she is. Forgotten. Mocked. Poked fun at.
The second bitch.
The ‘no-one-cares’ bitch.
Fuck.
To: Miyoung.
I’ll get over him too, just watch.
From: Miyoung.
Oh, babe, I know.
And you’re on your way to it.
With certainty, even in this goddamned train, with a smelly bathroom and a talkative seat companion, she can do it. Reach her dream. Get a name. Never need a man ever again.
Everything is going to be fine. It always is for her, and this won’t be the exception.
###
Everything is not fine.
Brick walls clad the building in front of her. Tall enough for it to even be considered a skyscraper, creating shadows across her body. The world is much bigger than hers, and yet, sometimes she thinks she is the center of it all. A white screen with black lines showcases the name of one of the newest musicals to be performed tonight at nine, but she can only imagine how her debut in the musical world will look like on her first night. Twinkling lights from the night falling in love with the title of her play—When The Kids Fall Asleep.
When she read the script, she was actually aiming to find some small spot in a TV series, waving in the back or saying three lines. Instead, she came across this piece of magic because of her manager, whom was once her mother’s manager. The story read almost like a book, the demos filling her ears when she asked for a demonstration for her audition, the story of four families that conjoined when trying to reach their dreams without telling the children about the hardships of the real world. For them, everything must be perfect.
Her character, she had fallen in love with. Poor yet leader-like through everything, trying to raise a three-year-old without making her miss a single meal. When she falls asleep, she has to live off earning money by selling meals and, continuously, finding it harder to feed her little family and working as a stripper.
Doing justice to such a role may erase the mistakes lingering in her past.
With a push of the door, the cold metal handle meeting her fingertips, a new world is introduced to her. Rows and rows of burgundy seats, all staring towards the not-so-empty stage. People scatter around, some extending their limbs, others taking sips of water, but the swish of the door closing behind her catches some people’s attention.
The director is someone she knows. The strands of her bleached blonde hair are pushed behind her ears, tightened by a hair-tie to keep it in place. A tall nose, plush lips, and a set of thick glasses meet her enigmatic, yet serious face. A black turtleneck covers most of her body, long limbs and stylized slender body making her look more like a model than a director. Practically glued to her chest is the printed version of the script, and the closer she gets, the more the golden lights scatter across Kaleigh’s body.
“Look at that, if that isn’t our fashionably late rock-star.” The chuckle that rips through Kaleigh’s lips fakes every single emotion that could be mustered in this situation. A sharp breath in makes her curse herself internally. Well, she’s definitely not used to having to take the subway…and definitely not use to people not waking her up. Her manager is there for that, but now he’s too far away from her to actually work as a babysitter, as well.
“Sorry,” She breathes out, hands threading with the straps of her hoodie before smiling softly. “I…I didn’t know how to catch the subway.”
“Are you kidding me?” Kaleigh asks, mocking tone in her voice ever-present, clapping her hands together as if watching the most ridiculous of comedies. “Your family isn’t famous enough for you to act as if you’re out and about in limousines.”
Truthfully, yes. A family of rock-stars, like her mother, that happened to leave the band in search of a better chance, only for her first solo album to fail in the charts. Of models that never went past the runways. Of singers that remained as one-hit-wonders and producers that never got to have names remembered in the world of music. It’s always a peak and then a downfall for her family’s curse.
…But, she does have enough money not to worry for the rest of her life, so there is something good about being criticized throughout her entire life for the family she grew up in. “Well…no, but I’m used to people driving me around. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
Upon sparing one glance towards the stage, Kaleigh must understand that she wants this conversation to be over. “Whatever,” She instructs, deep voice lingering with tiredness. “This is your team. You can get to know them as you practice. This is the first time the entire cast is together.”
Her eyes scan towards the groups of people, all of which she had studied from the printed version of the script she read when Jinho had finally fallen asleep on the train. Thank God, she almost thought that man was going to get off the train with her and follow her around. One of the male leads, she recognizes as Jaehyo, tall and over his thirties, short brown hair accompanying widened eyes, almost deep-looking. A vibrato to die for, as she saw per his audition.
“You’re Jaehyo, right?”
The man looks up from his script, a crooked smile appearing on his features that perhaps, gives him the attractiveness of that one friend’s young dad that she would look at when she was a child, unaware of why her cheeks would heat up at the mere sight of him. “You know me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Going up the set of stairs, she looks around the room once again. Small woman, black short hair, a rounded face with speckles of brown across her cheeks, matching her orange blush. The best dancer of the team, definitely. “And that’s Sue. She plays Joah’s character.” Of course, how could she not? Joah is one of the background characters, but thrilling in its own way. The owner of the strip-club, and the one that takes care of the children in the house of the four families, trying to paint a perfect picture of broken shreds. “And you are—”
Upon pointing at the woman seated by the edge of stage, the light wood carving against her uncovered, toned thighs, she hears Hyun’s sharp tone. The main star, the oldest child—twenty-one, that figures out that her mother is a stripper and goes on a rampant of wanting to take over the same steps. She’s a triple threat, that’s for sure—singing like a goddess, dancing like she belongs to the stage, and acting like she lived through the same experience.
“Are you over with your little Wikipedia search revising speech?” Hyun says, moving her long brown hair away from her shoulders to look at her with sharp almond eyes, her plush lips pursed, though still beautiful with the blaring anger inside her casting over her features. “You’re late. We don’t have time for you to play the fangirl character.”
Hyun stands up at the same moment that she shares her anger with everyone else in the stage. Jaehyo, on one hand, is the one to speak up first. “Hey, we weren’t even waiting for that long—”
“So, just because she has money, we have to excuse her diva behavior?” Running her hands over her gray shorts, Hyun gets in position, staring at Kaleigh.
“Look who’s talking.” She spits out, looking up and down at the woman that she had once thought was the best addition to the team, now seems to be up and against her, ready to blare Achilles’ cholera all the way towards her. “The only one making a fuss over me being twenty minutes late here is you—”
“Because my time is valuable, unlike what you think.” Hyun responds just as she gets close, sparing one glance towards Kaleigh. “Right? I’m the main lead. If I can get here early, so can you.”
“Shit, sorry.” She whispers, a frown appearing on her features. “I’ll make sure to get here two hours earlier because your character is so much more important than mine.”
“Well,” Kaleigh interrupts at that moment, hooking her fingers around one of her dangling diamond earrings. “It’s not wrong. Hyun is our star. If she gets here on time, so can you.”
Lowering her head just at the same time that a smile appears on Hyun’s face, she sighs. “It won’t happen again, I promise. I’m sorry.”
Her dream scatters right in front of her, both from her wrongdoings and for the way that Kaleigh looks at her up and down, before nodding. “Doesn’t matter. We can work on various things as you’re here. You have a lot to improve.” Kaleigh answers, a smile reaching her cheekbones. “For now, just stand in the back and watch the professionals do so.” Her hand extends towards Hyun, exclaiming her utmost ambition and hope for her presence in this play.
“For every scene?”
“Yes. You can dance in the back.” Kaleigh finalizes with a tilt of her head. “Ah…does that bother you?”
“Well, if I’m in the back for every scene, I won’t be able to deliver my lines properly—”
“Honey, here’s how this works—” Kaleigh starts, extending one leg in front of her before playing with the edge of her script. Never does she break eye-contact, even when she is stepping on her heart. “You are new, but you aren’t new to the public. You’ve dated a few good names, appeared on magazines since you were a child…and you’re kind of good, but we’re aiming for publicity here. If you’re here with us, we make this play more profitable and, hence, we can continue displaying it for however long they let us. And, with the passage of time, you can step forward and be looked at more…but you’re not as good as the rest, as easy as that.”
Then, why did she get accepted? Once again, the light of her family’s curse casts down on her, creates shadows on the kind of person she can be. Just when her lips are about to part, trying to shelter her pride with the utmost knowledge of how this industry works, Kaleigh claps her hands together.
“In your spots. First scene. The kids are waiting behind the stage, I need you to deliver those lines as if you’re in the verge of hunger. And you better be, we’ll be here the entire day.”
It’s not like how she imagined it to be. So far in the stage that she can’t even see the seats, the light casting down on Hyun even when she is not in the scene. Her voice dulls, every line coming out of her lips with less enthusiasm as the practice passes by. Just a publicity stunt, that’s why she was accepted. Tears weld up in her vision, and they are not exactly her character’s…but now she is here, and she has to make do with her dream.
###
There’s one point of a person’s lives where they can no longer see their friends as much as they hope to. Life gets busy, some create families, others hunt for their biggest professional goals, and then, she’s left in solitude, carrying the boxes that were left outside of her new house by the moving truck. Spacious, perfect for two to three people, and yet only there for her to live in. Somewhere in a suburbs-like spot, with plenty of families staring at her as a groan leaves her lips upon the lumbar ache on her back. Whatever. If normal people can do it, so can she.
The trees on her front yard move with the wind, same as her hair, trying her best to go up the set of white stairs that lead to her gray doorstep, the ‘welcome’ rug in front making her feel less like this is her home. Her friends and family are not here, and the friends that she has here are too busy with their own lives to help her unpack as much as possible. Along with that, she has to go over her lines and avoid delivery in order to use the kitchen as much as possible.
When she drops the last box on the living room, the gray tiles and the white doors giving an elegant vibe in contrast to the cardboard, her hands rest on her waist. The only thing she has managed to do after getting home from practice three days ago was construct some shelves for her TV, and put a bed in the bedroom to sleep in, but other than that, the house is empty. The couch welcomes her weight when she throws herself over it.
Okay. It could be worse. She has a ceiling over her head.
…And a mattress, a kitchen, a TV and a shelf.
But she has worn the same clothes at home for the past four days.
Lifting the white sweater up to her nose, she sniffles deeply. Clean, apparently, but that’s something she has to deal with as well—laundry as soon as possible, because of her amount of outfit changes during practice. Her eyes close tightly, as if she would be able to ease the headache appearing inside her head in the matter of seconds, but when she opens them again, she’s welcomed by the same white shelf she constructed, and the little wood shelf by its side that came with the house.
Though, it’s more like a cabinet, there’s a door to it, and it’s not locked, swinging back and forth with a squeak. Maybe, she should get rid of that before actually starting. Standing up again, each muscle hurting from endless hours of practicing and now for carrying around seven boxes inside her house, her slippers clank against the flooring until she kneels in front of the cabinet, opening the door and sighing out of glee of not having to hear the movement of the wind against it.
A box is inside, the words ‘throw away’ written in capitals and blue marker ink. Better follow what the owners wanted, it could be some haunted doll that she has to get out before it eats her alive at night. Though, just as she lifts the box in between her hands, ready to throw it away or recycle it, the bottom portion opens, letting a bunch of CD’s fall on her feet.
Ouch, but also, huh?
Is this the old owner’s porn stack?
She should just throw them away, but when her fingers wrap around the CD’s, she reads the titles written in the same blue ink. Anniversary. Date. Bed. New York.
Ooh, bed sounds kinky…
Is it an amateur sex tape?
Better check it before she throws it away and people look through it, right?
Thankfully, numbers are scattered across the CD’s, small enough for her to almost ignore them, but upon grabbing her laptop from the coffee table, she slides the CD in. All in order, she starts with number one.
Maybe, a sex tape would be better…it wouldn’t have captured her heart quite like this.
###
01: NEW YORK.
“Ah, Kim Mingyu, don’t leave me behind like that!”
Groups of people scatter in front of the recorder. Tall buildings, in colors from grays, blacks, whites to browns, read out the typicality of New York, as per the title. Bustling, with barely any space from one person to the other, like lovers marching on their way to success. The person with the camera lets it shake a few times with her steps, the tone sweet and melodious as she calls out the same name again. Kim Mingyu. Kim Mingyu. Babe.
Definitely her boyfriend.
Upon reaching a wide back with a navy-blue thick coat thrown over it, the person with the camera expands her free hand on his back, sharp breaths leaving her lips, trying to regain her composure. She moves over to the side, finally showing the face of the culprit of her distress. A car passes by so fast that it swooshes his hair, the brown strands moving away to showcase his gorgeous golden skin. Not only is that gorgeous about him, but the fold of his romantic eyes, one squinted as he holds a camera up his face, taking a few pictures of the Times Square, accompanied by his defined nostrils, straight nose and dried, thin lips that he licks in the matter of seconds before looking over towards his girlfriend.
God has favorites.
“Log number one of the lives of Mingyu and Yoona. We are out here in New York to celebrate our second anniversary, isn’t that right, Mingyu?” Her voice is dulcet enough to compete against popsicles and candy. Mingyu seems to sense that, a twinkle in his eyes when looking down at the person recording him.
But he’s a camera person, she can tell that much. When he turns towards the camera, he extends his arms as wide as possible. “We’re here to celebrate two years of me standing Yoona and not dying in the process.”
Yoona slaps him in the arm for that comment, laughter ripping from his lips. “No, say why we’re really here.”
Mingyu looks around for a second, grabbing her hand before dragging her along through the busy streets. “I’ve always wanted to come to New York, so I thought that coming with you would be the best way to experience it.”
“And why are we recording us?”
“…Because I plan to audition for Hollywood so we can be like Brad and Angelina.”
“…They divorced, Mingyu.”
“They didn’t.” Mingyu replies, though he is clearly in the wrong. “Why would they—?”
“Because people get divorced, Mingyu.” Yoona reasons, far more knowledgeable than her boyfriend. “But be honest, why are we recording ourselves?”
At last, he looks away, the timer of the video growing smaller and smaller as he stares ahead. Slowly, a smile takes over his features, filling his cheeks when he says: “This is log one of the videos we’re going to show our children once we become a family in the far future.”
“Or not so far.”
Staring into the camera, Mingyu shrugs. “You never know.”
And that’s how it ends. With that precious smile of his giving hope to those who don’t believe in love, for it’s clear that he’s in love with whoever is recording him.
###
02: BED.
The door of what is now her bedroom opens up in the video, the same recorder not knowing how to keep the camera upright as she moves toward the spacious bed. Her knees hit the bed, stealing a huff away from the man thrown on the bed as his hands come forward just as his body does, grabbing the culprit that interrupted his sleep by jumping on him.
“Morning, morning, birthday boy!” His face is much more swollen than in the last video, his dark hair tousled everywhere as his eyes squint, try to look at the camera before closing entirely, throwing himself back in the mattress with a sigh.
“I’ll go back to sleep.”
But, Yoona keeps pushing, resting her weight on top of Mingyu, showcasing the pictures of them splayed on their respective bedside tables, before patting her hand against his cheek. “Wake up, it’s April 6th.”
“I know that day it is…” His voice drags, pressing his cheek to the white, comfortable pillow that seems to include a dampened spot created by him.
“Okay, kids. You may watch this ten years from now or something, let’s hope your dad isn’t as grumpy in the mornings as he is right now.” Yoona instructs, jumping a bit on his abdomen only to watch him not relenting at all. “Your dad was born on April 6th, 1997—” Oh, same year that Jinho was left by his wife. What a coincidence. “Shall we sing happy birthday for him?”
The video ends with a smile appearing on Mingyu’s face the more the song goes on in that lulling voice, reaching upwards to steal a kiss from her only for the camera to cut short.
The guy’s charming, she’ll give him that.
###
07: DRUNK.
Mingyu’s flushed face seems a bit older, his hair pushed away from his face as he rests his forehead against the refrigerator. It’s not the same one in her kitchen right now, but the division is the same, so it’s technically still in this house. Only when Yoona comes close to him, stumbling a bit on her steps, does he look up, waving his hand at the camera, the sleeve of his white and red sweater coming down his hand.
“Min…gyu…” Yoona has trouble forming coherent sentences, though Mingyu’s smile is ever-present. Happiness bleeds through him when being with her. “Mingyu, dance for the camera. Make that money worth, baby.”
The man chuckles, lifting his hands in the air and swinging his hips from side to side comically, earning a few whistles, howls and cheers from some people, perhaps equally as drunken as him, only to end up getting close to the camera and saying, with his handsome features pressed up close to the device:
“I wanna throw up.”
This video definitely has a smile plastering on her face. Funny.
###
10: ANNIVERSARY.
“Kim Mingyu, welcome to our log. We haven’t talked here for a while.”
Mingyu looks away from the scenery outside of the car, perhaps a taxi given by the position, moving the hood of his black sweater away from his head and fixing the sunglasses on his face to rest just at the tip of his nose to look at the camera. “You’re recording again?” Mingyu asks, though he is already waving at the camera and by the lack of response, she must have nodded at him.
“It’s October 13th, that means we have been together for three years.” Yoona starts, just at the same time that Mingyu grabs her hand, brings it up to his lips and presses a petal of a kiss to her knuckles. God, she should really stop watching this if she doesn’t want to feel lonelier. Why does she always pick the bad ones? Yoona has good tastes! “What are your thoughts on love, Mr. Kim?”
Mingyu leans his head back, though he looks at her from the corner of his eyes. “Stop calling me Mr. Kim.”
“Okay, go on Kim Mingyu.”
“It’s alright to just call me Mingyu.”
“I’m the one with the camera, shut it.”
Though, the man in question tries to find the right words, a goofy smile appearing on his features before extending his hands, as if further help himself explain. “Love is comfort? It’s what you expect, really. Ah…everyone thinks, at least once in their lives, that they are going to find someone and then, you just do.”
“Mingyu,” Yoona threatens, somewhat of a hiss to her tone. “What a bad answer.”
“It’s an answer!” He replies, widening his eyes and lifting his tone comically.
“And how did you know it was me?”
Mingyu pauses for a second, his lips joining together to give a tight-lipped smile before shrugging. “I just knew.”
###
13: RING.
“It’s recording.” A joyful voice, though belonging to a man, speaks from behind the camera before Mingyu lowers his weight to stand in front of the camera, taking off his black hoodie to wave.
“Hi,” Mingyu instructs, though the busy exterior must be getting him nervous, looking around before smiling sweetly. For one second, he looks like the modern version of a Prince. “I’m here today to buy Yoona an engagement ring. Seungkwan is recording me…and…yeah, I’ll just show you the process of me finding the perfect ring.”
Though, the man recording is more given to being on camera, turning it around and moving to Mingyu’s side so they are both in camera. His bright red hair and innocent features match his overexcited nature. “Welcome everyone. I’m here because my ring size is the same as Yoona’s. Mingyu and Yoona—”
Mingyu chuckles, hiding his hands behind his back before shaking his head. “This is not a broadcast, dude.”
“What do you know, Mingyu?”
The rest of the video displays memories of Seungkwan speaking into the camera and recording Mingyu as he picks the perfect ring. Rose gold with five diamonds, one that says costs him more than he even has and made him ask for money from all his group of friends.
Love has a meaning then.
###
14: I SAID YES.
This video is much shorter, though she can already recognize Seungkwan’s lively voice as he records the lovely couple. Yoona, with her bangs falling across her forehead, thin lips and big eyes stares up at Mingyu when she hugs him, his knees dusted because of his kneeling position in front of her. The ring dazzles against the light of the salon they all find themselves in—perhaps, some event, with pink balloons and golden decorations.
Mingyu, as happy as ever, wraps his arms around her waist, lowering his lips until they connect with hers. Not missing a bit, a smile appears over his features, as per usual with Yoona, but the woman only displays her ring to the camera.
“It’s finally happening!”
###
31: DELETE.
Yoona spends two good minutes talking about the wedding, the decorations, the elegance of her designer dress that she paid too much for. Definitely not in their ordinary room, the city twinkles darkly on the opened, spacious windows of the hotel they are staying in, the beige desk and the champagne curtains matching. Her hair is shorter, her voice different, fixing her eyelashes and her bangs as much as possible whenever she speaks.
Mingyu lowers his weight beside her, resting his cheek on her shoulder just as she is speaking, but she cuts herself off to look over her shoulder. “Mingyu…” Her voice lowers, taking his face in between her slim hands to look at his features. Ready for bed, he seems to be, dark bags surrounding his eyes and the figure of a shadow around his lips making Yoona shake her head. “You haven’t shaved and the wedding is tomorrow. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
For someone’s whose language had been lively and lovely throughout the recordings, this surprises her. What happened to Yoona? Mingyu stares up at her, pushing his hair away from his face. “I’ll shave tomorrow,” His smile falls then, frowning up at her. “If I shave now, it’s not going to be perfect tomorrow.”
“You look disgusting with that rat on your face.”
“It isn’t even noticeable, come on.”
“Of course, it is!” Yoona complains, huffing when she leans back on her seat, bringing her knees up her chest as she has a stare-off with Mingyu. Before he could say anything, she interrupts him. “I don’t even know how I’m going to kiss you tomorrow with that thing—”
Mingyu stands up then, pointing at the camera as he snaps, getting away from the main screen. “It’s not like you do anything remotely nice anymore unless you’re recording us.”
Yoona looks over her shoulder, talking to Mingyu. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“The only moment you’re truly happy with me is when you’re talking to these nonexistent children of ours—”
“You said you wanted children, Mingyu.”
“…I do, but it’s—it’s not—to have children, you have to do more than just record the good parts of your relationship to show them just how perfect their parents were.”
Yoona scoffs, rolling her eyes while looking at the camera. “Well, I thought I had a perfect boyfriend, you see, but the more comfortable you get, the stupider you become.”
Mingyu stops on his tracks, moving over to the camera before placing one hand over it. Though, by the ministrations and the movement, Yoona seems to flick it off. “Turn that shit off.” He threatens, voice levelled, only to have her shaking her head. “Yoona, I said to turn that shit off. I’ve recorded every time you wanted, but it’s enough. We already—”
“Did I ask for your opinion, Mingyu?”
“I—”
“I didn’t ask, so keep it to yourself, okay?” The man actually listens, biting down on his bottom lip before rushing his hands through his hair a few times, grasping at his scalp one last time before moving over to the mattress. Yoona checks if he is around one more time before leaning her weight forward, resting her elbow on her desk. “Like I said, my dress is by Belle Epoque—”
Though, she can’t bring herself to watch any more of the last log, meant to be deleted.
###
In the middle of the night, lacking sleep yet raging insomnia like it is her job to blare thoughts inside her head as per musical notes, she figured out something. Nonsense is timeless, and staying in the far back of the stage, along with her companions, only to make Hyun shine the harshest is not what she imagined when moving out here. It’s not what she desired, and it’s not going to happen.
The instrumental of Jaehyo’s first solo runs through the empty stage, three hours earlier than Hyun could ever get to the practice room. The man gives a few steps forward, extending his arms on each side of his body as if to ask for instructions.
When calling her name, he adds: “I don’t know why we’re here.”
Though she pauses the instrumental, there is certainty in her voice, pushing her messy hair back, trying to unglue her eyelids that remain touched to the other because of her lack of sleep. One sip of caffeine should be enough for now. “It’s not fair that we’re getting pushed to the back when we have solos. Hyun shouldn’t be the main dancer of your solo.” She instructs, staring at Jaehyo’s surprised expression. “So, we’re preparing something else to show to Kaleigh.”
Jaehyo chuckles at her words, rubbing his hands against his face. “I don’t think she’s going to accept it.” He tells, letting go of his cheeks to add. “Hyun is, also, too much of a strict main for me to go against her just like that—”
“You’re thirty-five Jaehyo, grow up.” Her words come out harshly, days of standing Hyun’s verbal stabs catching up on her. Take for example Kim Mingyu, the God made Prince in the videos she watched. Gorgeous, elegant, somehow sweet, and yet, following through with a marriage that probably made him unhappy in the long run. She doesn’t have the time to lose the opportunity of shining. “…You’re excellent with choreography, and I can help with some of the vocals—”
“I think she’s right.” Sue says after slipping out from the back of the stage, the red curtains dragging over her body, much more energized than anyone in this room. “Hyun is the most talented of our team, but we are not Hyun and her little group of backup dancers. We are also characters.”
Nodding, she agrees. “Exactly.”
Jaehyo looks back towards Sue, then up again at one of the youngest of the team before rolling his finger in the air. “Okay, start the instrumental again. I think I can make up some new moves.”
Jaehyo’s body moves with precision, professionalism at its finest as he makes every step count into the road of heartbreak that his character finds himself to be in, driven by addiction, stopped by his reality. One arm forward, fingers curling with each word he says, notes hit at the same time that his lines are delivered. The talent in the room palpitates with what Kaleigh can’t see, a trio of people who would love to work with Hyun but end up down-casted by the light of her endless talents.
Hours pass by, and she is reminded why she started liking musicals on the first place. Seated on her grandmother’s lap, on the first row of Broadway musicals, staring at the dancers and the actors, the way a story could come to life with the three best versions of art. A nod of her head, a hum of her voice, a vibrato or two, a falsetto when she’s feeling brave…it all comes together with a version of When The Kids Go To Sleep that the world deserves to see.
Though, the middle of the morning hits with the entrance of another person. The doors open, closing harshly behind the culprit, interrupting the line that she is breathing into the air continued by elongated, quickened steps. When she stares ahead, past the rows of empty seats, she sees Hyun’s small face, her typical sport-like outfit cladding her immaculate body.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, newbie?” Hyun asks, not even conscious of her steps as she goes up the set of stairs and stands in front of her. The music comes to a halt thanks to Jaehyo, whom rushes down the stage with a jump and pauses the Bluetooth speakers, but she isn’t back down. Not with this bitch.
“Practicing, babe. What do you think I’m doing?”
“Ruining the musical, for example.” Her reply has her balling her fists. Not that she has ever been part of a physical fight—oh, but she has been close, and she thinks that if she can land a fake punch for a scene, a real one shouldn’t be that difficult. “…This part of the stage…” Hyun steps forward, tapping her shoes against the spot she was in, jutting her chest outwards to bring her back. “This is mine, and you have to earn this spot—”
“Stop it with the dramatics, God. We’re not in High School Musical, stop acting like a child.” She groans out, throwing her head back at Hyun’s antics.
“You say that because you’re just used to things going your way. So, the pretty little princess can’t get used to being shadowed for once.”
Sue takes this moment to step forward, placing her hands on both of their chests. “Hey, let’s stop this—”
“Fucking whatever celebrity passes by you didn’t work for you, and that’s your fault. Now, this is my dream, and you don’t get to ruin it because you feel like the attention is not on you for once.” Hyun continues speaking, lifting her voice with each moment that passes. Pushing Sue to the side, she gets closer to her, breaths mingling with the nonsense she is speaking into the air. What does she know about her past what the media says? Judgmental bitch.
“You don’t know me. Stop talking as if you do, bitch.”
“Oh, baby, a bitch?” Hyun asks, placing one hand on top of her chest before chuckling. “Ouch. What level of bitch? The usual, level one bitch or level ten, horny bitch like yourself?”
“Regret that.” She pushes, wrapping her fingers around Hyun’s shirt to bring her closer, only to watch the woman chuckle.
“What? You’re going to kiss me like you do with every little celebrity friend of yours?”
Fire bursts within her vision, not counting her breaths when her free hand comes forward and slaps the woman across from her straight on the cheek. Two steps back make her realize exactly what she did, Hyun’s smile faltering with the gasp that leaves her lips. Her chest heaves up and down, hand tingling and burning under the weight of her ministrations…but fuck, it felt good to shut her up for once.
The media has portrayed every mistake, blown it out of proportion, and made a mess out of her life. She was never judged as a normal person, but as the daughter of celebrities instead. It’s not fair for whatever the media portrayed to continue to follow her even when she’s trying to earn a name for yourself.
Sue exclaims at that moment. “Stop it, you two!” Resting one hand on Hyun’s shoulder, she helps her up only to have Hyun walking forward, ready to retreat the precious gift of pain. “Hey, no! Stop it!” Sue tugs Hyun by her small waist, trying to keep her in place.
“Who’s the bitch now?”
“I’m going to fucking kill you—”
“Stop it!” Jaehyo screams from his spot, coming towards the stage again. For someone who avoids arguments, he seems to be angered. “Let’s just…let’s just wait for Kaleigh to get here, practice, and forget this ever happened, okay? We’re a team, we’re not here to harass each other.”
Though, not a single word comes out of her lips, but a glare from Sue tells her that she needs to speak up. “Okay, I won’t do it again.”
Yet, when she turns around, tears weld up in her vision. A broken dream, her pride shattered, and a past that will follow her whether it is true or not…that’s what her life will always consist of, no matter where she runs up to.
###
First month in the new city, and the only thing that keeps her sane is the box filled with CD’s that she keeps inside her shelf, watching Mingyu’s face and smile whenever she needs to remind herself that there are good people in this world.
Sure, flowers don’t bloom in everyone, and what is shown on the recordings could be a bettered version of Mingyu. She knows what it is like to be portrayed as someone else in front of the cameras, after all. Yet, the rosiness of his tanned cheeks and the smile on his features speaks about something inexplicably thrilling. It makes her care about what happened after. Why would they leave all those CD’s behind, and had their marriage work?
Out of her thirteen neighbors, twelve don’t know a thing about him.
It’s a cycle, with the harsh sun confusing the endless wind falling on her back. One door opens, they welcome her into the neighborhood, ask her how she’s doing and they answer her questions.
Do you know who Kim Mingyu is? Yes, of course, he lived where you live right now.
Do you know what he does? No idea.
Do you know what happened to him, per chance? He left one day without saying a thing.
At this point, she may believe that Kim Mingyu was a ghost, and that was the reason why no one ever saw him leaving, or knew why he left. Confusion takes over her—for once, she doesn’t know why she is looking for the man that has brought her comfort for the past month, because nothing would come out of it. It’s not like she’s a fan of him, and will eventually end up meeting him and say: ‘Hey, watching your videos before your relationship fell apart made me feel better because you have such a welcoming, goofy personality’. Yet, there she is, standing in front of the final house of the block, ringing the doorbell on the pristine white walls.
A cat purrs once the doors open, escaping the confines of the home to twirl around her legs. The old woman in front of her, however, does not seem to mind her pet being so sweet, tugging at the edge of her long flowery dress, hunched over as she barely walks, a gray braid falling on her shoulder. A dulcet face, though much older than ninety, accompanies the lonesome woman who smiles at her presence.
“Oh, you’re the pretty girl that just moved in here, right?”
Well, that’s something new. She hasn’t heard much compliments ever since she got here—burn after hit, hit after burn, all coming from her endless hours of preparing for the first night of her musical, and the ones to come. “Depends on who you ask.” She jokes around, extending her hand to greet the woman in front of her. She outs her name into the comfortable atmosphere around them. “Yes, I’m the new neighbor. Nice to meet you…you have such a pretty home.”
“The smallest of the block, but the sturdiest.” The old woman gets out, able to capture anyone with her words. She leans her weight against the doorframe, a tired sigh leaving her lips. “Hye-Eun, that’s my name…and that’s my cat Rose.”
Kneeling down to scratch Rose right on her neck, she hums. “She’s so pretty.” The orange-furred cat seems to understand her, pressing her cheek against her knee before she looks away from her. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Hye-Eun, but I have some questions about the previous owners of my house that no one has been able to answer me—”
“You’re not interrupting a thing. I was just watching TV.” Hye-Eun admits.
“I’m glad.” It’s all she seems to be doing these days, too. Not going out. Definitely not spending her time inspecting the city. Instead, she’s either practicing or tiredly lounging around the house. “…Do you happen to know what happened to Kim Mingyu, the owner of the house?”
Hye-Eun stops for a moment, bringing her hands up her nose to rub at it before smiling. “He was a cute one, wasn’t he?”
Heat takes over her features, for she does not shy away from any man…but the stranger has something in him that puts her heart inside a carrousel and gives it a million twirls. “Indeed.”
“He left the day after his wedding. I’d say…about a year ago.” Hye-Eun, for seemingly being so old, captures the date well. One squint of her eye keeps her going, trying to recall the details. “He didn’t leave with Yoona, though. I remember because he brought me some food before he left. Such a caring boy…”
Her judgement may not be the slightest bit wrong about him. A smile appears on her features when she takes Rose in between her hands, looking at the cat’s face for a second before continuing to rub over her fur. Very calm for a cat, actually. “What was he like?”
“Enchanting, really. He used to greet everyone, play around with the kids when he could…he is a photographer, so he took lots of pictures in our neighborhood.” Mingyu sounds much like the man in the recordings so far. Had Yoona been the only one pretending, or was that just a little fight in their relationship? “A little bit dumb, but the sweetest of men are like that. Though, forgetful, too, he never came around after leaving.”
She doesn’t know him and yet, at times, when she doesn’t see his videos for days, she starts to miss his smile. People around the neighborhood, or the ones that truly intertwined with him, must long for his presence. “Seems like his wife was a lucky one.”
“She was.” Though, Hye-Eun says something else about the woman… “Pretty, but too controlling. Mingyu was just too stupid to notice.”
Those words have the smile on her face faltering. “…Really?”
The relationship that she had judged as normal on the first place, now seems to fall on the weight of Yoona’s wrongdoings. “Yes.” Hye-Eun finalizes, nodding her head before smacking her lips together. “But I know nothing else. Sorry, honey.”
“No worries, Mrs. Hye-Eun.” She finalizes, giving Rose back to her owner before resting her hands inside the pocket of her jeans. A photographer, brand-new feelings blossoming with his marriage, Mingyu sounds like one hell of a picturesque man. “Thank you for your help. I’ll get going now.” With a bow, she turns around, ready to take off to her house, when Hye-Eun speaks from her spot.
“He’s a pretty one, isn’t he?”
She stops on her tracks, looking over her shoulders. “Pardon me?”
Hye-Eun rests a kiss on top of Rose’s old cheeks before she chuckles. “A woman doesn’t go around asking about a man through a neighborhood just because.” Though, she has some reason there, if Mingyu is a married man, why should she care? “…Watch out for that heart, honey.”
“Oh no, Mrs. Hye-Eun, I’m afraid you have misunderstood—”
“I haven’t.” The sweet woman says, a smile appearing on her rounded features. “…Just, be careful, okay? Mingyu is the kind of man anyone easily falls for.”
Crossing her fingers across her heart, she replies: “I promise those are not my intentions, ma’am.”
With a chuckle, Hye-Eun takes a hold of her door, ready to close it when she finalizes this conversation. “It’s not what you intend to do, but what you’re actually doing.” The door closes, and she watches Hye-Eun retreat with her cat.
Why is she looking for Mingyu on the first place? Perhaps, a part of her wants to meet him—see that smile from up close and ask what happened to his relationship.
But that’s not her issue, not her position to be in, and that’s the reality of life.
###
“How many times do I have to tell you not to add new steps to the choreography?”
The baby wipe rubbing against her skin stops her motions along with her hand, looking at Kaleigh’s reflection on the mirror, right next to hers. The white lights cast down on the entirety of the face, one half sporting the bruises and dirt on her character’s face, the other completely void of makeup. Kaleigh, however, looks as put-together as always, moving her glasses, holding her script to her chest and pursing her reddened lips when she raises her eyebrows.
“I thought it’d look better, sorry.” Though, Jaehyo and Sue do it at times as well, choreographies and lines that they have worked on behind Kaleigh. They never get repercussions, aiming to be the very best brand of musical actors, but in her case…it’s always a bad move. With the passage of time, her confidence in her talents has deflated. “It won’t happen again.”
“You say that all the time.” Kaleigh answers, looking down at her script with a sigh before flicking a few pages. “And you, still, can’t go to the front. Hyun has worked on her dancing and her physique more than you have, so…stay back.” Though words hurt her more and more each time, digging against her heart like a sword twisting and twisting, opening the wound with more force than the last time. Yet, she only nods, knowing better than going back home and proving everyone right about the curse that follows her family.
“I will.”
“…I don’t want to tell you this, but another mistake, and I’ll kick you out.” Kaleigh, always strict, finalizes with those words, not knowing how to be softer. Little did she know that she left her figure skater with a broken foot at home, only pushed into the train because everyone insisted on her following her dream. Miyoung is much better now, but she can’t follow after her dream anymore. She keeps going, but at what cost? Showing the people that love her that, for once, she is not just some celebrity’s family member?
More often than not, she wants to package her bags and go back home. Wrap her arms around Miyoung and cry for both of their dreams. Buried deep, aching, bleeding. Instead, she watches Kaleigh retreat towards Hyun, sharing a smile with the woman and words of endless praise that should be for her.
Not to be misunderstood. Hyun is as talented as a person can get, but her outward hate towards her and the rivalry she started out of nowhere affects her. What was once admiration towards Hyun now translates into anger, pulsing envy that has her looking to the side as Hyun downs her fifth energy drink of the night. Her pupils dilate, eyelids blinking rapidly, chest heaving for a second as her fingers twirl one against the other. She stares at herself in the mirror, far away from taking off her makeup, before releasing her lines once again under her breath.
She’ll give Hyun that she’s a hard worker, but more than five energy drinks in just one afternoon practice?
The recital is getting closer, pamphlets thrown around, social media presence starting—and the interviews will inherently come soon. Yet, Hyun seems to be under a lot of pressure, the strain of one of the notes she whispers into the thin air coming from endless hours of rehearsing. Main lead but still very much human.
She shouldn’t give a shit. Hyun can start peeing orange like the color of the energy drinks she is having, and she shouldn’t mind, but what does she do instead when leaning against her seat and looking to Hyun’s lonesome speech?
“I don’t think you should be drinking that many energy drinks.”
Hyun looks different when she looks over to her. Her eyes seem to be unable to close, bottom lip stuck in between her teeth, dragged across the surface before tilting her head to the side. “How about your start minding your own business?”
She shrugs. This is a woman, after all, and they may be miles apart personality-wise, but she can’t bring herself to look at Hyun ruin his own health just to function a few more hours on stage. “Well, it’s minding my business. I don’t want to be the one to take you to the ER when one of your kidneys explodes.”
Hyun scoffs, moving her hair away from her face before looking back at her reflection in the mirror. “I’d rather die than share a car with you.”
Why does she even try with this one? It’s clear that she won’t ever let herself be pampered, even when she worries about her health. “You know what? Invite me when that happens. The happiest day of my life, for sure.” She replies, rubbing on her face harshly, not caring if she takes off the entirety of her makeup before tossing her bag over her shoulder and getting off the chair.
When she gets out of her second home, the city welcomes her. Bustling lights, passing cars, the speech that never stops…and yet, she can’t bring herself to like it. She’s one hair away from losing it all—the opportunity of being in this musical, that is, bringing her character to life, but if she doesn’t lose that…her pride as a person will be stepped on.
God, she really needs to stop caring about the musical for once. Her character is different from who she is, and too much practice is about to make her turn out crazy.
Her phone comes up to her ear as she starts walking to the subway, calling one of her friends that live in the same city as her, hoping for an answer when she says:
“Drinks tonight, babe?”
“For sure!”
###
For once, she feels like herself. Stepping out of a taxi, with the night biting at her naked legs, and fashion cladding most of her body. A tight red skirt rests under her bright pink coat, the low neckline of her white shirt showing a sensual side of her that only the cameras had seen, back when she went out partying in her hometown. Lowering her sunglasses from her head to her eyes, she takes a bite of the pizza in between her fingers when her friend closes the taxi’s door behind them.
“This is the best lounge in the entirety of the city, trust me.” Dasom’s pink hair swishes with the wind in inexplicable ways, but the smile on her mischievous features only highlights when she wraps her arm around hers. Dasom had been having dinner with her just a few minutes ago, over some bottles of beer, when she decided a lounge would be much better for them. Music. Dance. Perhaps some people to talk for the night. “Besides, there’s a lot of high-end people here.”
She met Dasom while in high school, where the woman peaked thanks to a viral video on the internet. To this day, she is remembered for it, but her fame hasn’t gone much further. Education aside, she seems to just enjoy the moment. “Wait, can’t I finish my pizza?”
Taking the slice of pizza from her hands, the cheese and sauce concoction ends up on the sidewalk, thrown there by Dasom. “Stop eating. We’re going to have fun and help you forget about your image for once.”
Upon entering the lounge, clouds of red and blue merge together, music boosting the bass through the walls, people cheering with their glasses up in the sky, bodies clinging to one another in a dance. Somehow, it feels like a party, and Dasom never misses one of those. This night doesn’t seem to be the exception, her heels clicking against the black flooring with white speckles as Dasom moves her through the masses of people.
“You didn’t tell me it was going to be a party.”
“Never trust a Gemini.” Dasom instructs about herself before smiling softly. “We’re going to be fine,” She instructs, wrapping one arm around her shoulder before extending her hands to one of the tables. “My friends are over there. We’re going to grab some drinks. And we’re going to have a good time, isn’t that right?”
“…Well, I guess.” Finally, the hazed nature of her happiness comes through, following after the steps of someone more knowledgeable about nights like this. She needs to let go, feel as though she doesn’t care for one night, and if a few shots and shared laughter aims to do that, so be it.
Motions blur one with the other, alcohol passing by her throat, numbing it with each taste. She winces most of the time, but the smile after the hiss is worth it. Pictures come from the night, though she doesn’t know who she is posing with, loving the pineapple in cocktails and the way her body swings as though the denim never restricted her legs. The night casts its light on her, the starring role of a movie that she doesn’t quite remember—but damn, it’s a good time. For once, she doesn’t have to think.
The bad thing about sudden, palpitating happiness is that it dissipates in the matter of seconds. Shots of alcohol are a distraction, not a source of dopamine.
“Dasom!” She shouts her friend’s name, stomach hunching as she steps away from the groups of people. There are a bunch of people with rosy hair in here, or maybe, she is too drunk to tell who her friend is. Her hands wrap around a handle, apologizing when coming in contact with the steady and strong body of the body guard before stepping on the sidewalk, hurling forward until she empties the contents of her stomach.
Yeah…alcohol is not her thing.
One of her earrings falls down, a wince following the action before she spits on the floor. She doesn’t feel any better, and she imagines she’s going to be here for another second. Her hands rest on her thighs, letting the world see her and the cars passing by on her worst of states. Worst of ideas, it was, but she can’t quite regret it when she’s beyond tipsy.
Someone rests their hand on the sleeve of her coat, pulling it up her shoulder before patting her back. Sobs rip from her mouth, lungs contracting and breaths suffocating with the sickness that revolves her stomach. A soft, yet somewhat confused, voice talks to her, rubbing circles on her back in the process.
“Hey, everything is going to be alright. Just breathe.”
Tears mix with her mascara, touching down to her worn-out lipstick as she breathes out: “I—I can’t…I feel so sick.”
This is a man that is talking to her, she can tell that much, but when he fixes her tangled hair from her earrings and continues to speak words of comfort to her, she can’t figure out anything else. A lisp is there, that’s all she can tell. “Oh no. You’ve drank too much.” Unsure of what to say or do, from her peripheral vision, she can see the man looking around the streets. Brown hair, glasses, and a black cardigan, but she doesn’t remember anything else. “I’m here with you. Calm down.”
Before she could say anything else, her stomach lifts its contents and she brings her weight forward once again.
From the faint distance, she can hear a small ‘ew’ from the man.
“Shit. Are any of your friends here?” With the smallest of nods, the man complies with another question. “W—What’s her name?”
“Kang Dasom.”
“Kang Dasom. Kang Dasom. Okay. Okay, I can do this.” More-so talking to himself, the man retreats from his spot beside her. Gone, like everyone, leaving the drunken, sobbing mess that is herself at this moment, it’s not a surprise that he left her to go find her friend. However, his actions say otherwise. “Hey, guard! Can you go look for Kang Dasom inside? I can’t leave her alone.”
Once again by her side, she wraps her fingers around his taut forearm, lifting her gaze for one second, but unable to make out a figure of his blurred features. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no. Don’t be.” The man in question instructs, slipping his backpack off one shoulder before taking out a bottle of water, flimsily giving it to her. “Take a few sips, please.”
She does as he says, letting the cold liquid go down her abused throat, the man’s warm fingertips rubbing the tears away from her cheeks before she sighs. “…Thank you. I must look so…wacky.”
At the adjective she uses, the stranger chuckles. “It’s a new fashion trend, don’t worry.”
Smiling lazily, she hears the sound of the door opening, her name breathed out by a worried tone. “Oh my God, sweetie! I couldn’t find you anywhere!”
Dasom’s arms wrap around her body, not caring that she is smelly, just vomited, and that she’s head over heels drunk. “It’s okay…” She breathes out, feeling her stomach calm down at the touch of the lulling water, but Dasom pulls away to look at her.
“It’s not okay! God, anything could’ve happened to you…”
The stranger speaks in a low tone, playing with whatever is hanging from his neck. A necklace? A camera? A bag? She can’t tell. “I have to go back to work. Is everything going to be alright?”
Dasom looks at the man for one fraction of a second before humming. “We’ll be fine, thank you.” Though, she doesn’t get enough time to say anything to the stranger with the familiar voice, instead sucking in a breath when Dasom takes her by the waist and drags her towards the edge of the sidewalk, eyes already trained on her phone. “I’m going to call our taxi. We need to take you back home.”
The night wasn’t so bad, at least, for she realized there are still good people in this world.
###
All her life she has lived in the backseat, now she realizes.
Shadows of mistakes, people in other cars able to see her, but with the motion, she never captured a glance of them. People judged her, but they never stopped to see the real image, the driver and where it was taking her, how the road was and how the breeze could change the trees, the weather, and the time when everything happened. It’s not what she signed up for, but it’s the only thing she has known.
She knew the media before she even knew what a friend was. Learned how to look at the camera even before she learned how to speak to someone while staring at them face-to-face. Her name was said by other people, strangers at that, before she even knew how to spell it or write it. It’s not what she desired, but she keeps going. Her hands extend to continue with her dance routine, stepping forward just for one second, knowing that this is the only moment to shine. One of the few moments she is not the little girl everyone expected the worst from.
Look at what you’ve become, she wants to tell herself. You’re halfway through being an artist.
One day until her first performance in front of the crowd, and she’s ready to take it like a champion. Good or bad reviews, whatever happens is the source of her hard work—rather, it’s outcome. Her sneakers dig into the stage. Her stage that she shares with amazing people, and if twenty seconds of singing is all she gets, it’s what she is going to hold onto.
Upon reaching her mark, she feels a log—a leaf in her road to autumn. Her body proceeds to fall upon losing her balance, knees digging into the wood, creating dents in the skin, burning at the touch when her hands expand to stand her weight. Her chin hits the floor, but the masked laughter that comes from the person by her side shows the culprit. Baby blue sneakers, toned legs, and that malice that conceptualizes.
Kaleigh stops the music, fixing her glasses before sighing deeply. “Are you trying to kiss the floor?”
She sits up at that moment, her fingers pointing at Hyun by her side. Supposed to be her companion in this scene and yet, destroying everything that drives her to her dreams. “Ask the one that jutted her leg forward so I could trip.”
“I didn’t do such thing.”
Kaleigh, as always, backs her up. “I didn’t see her putting her leg forward.” Before she could defend herself any further, let the fire of the stress burn through Kaleigh’s serious expression, the woman is already looking behind her, speaking to the dot of a man that she can’t perceive at the last row of the practice place. “Are the pictures coming out fine? I don’t want people to see our cast on the floor.”
The more she proceeds in life, the more she realizes she is the only one that can bring herself up, dust her knees before anyone could even put a finger over her. It’s better this way. The photographer gets away from the shadows, lowering the Canon from his face before nodding slowly. “I’m getting good shots. Thank you for worrying.”
That lisp. If she moved her head any faster, she would have gotten whiplash. Upon watching the man’s face, she feels as though the Earth swallows her whole. Rounded face, toned body, his ears hidden by his beanie, glasses propped on the bridge of his nose, thin lips and that melodious smile. A bit silly at times, but yet, so enchanting on him.
“Ah,” Mingyu gets closer to the stage, standing by the edge before extending his camera towards her. Yes. Her. Why in the hell can’t she move? Men shouldn’t have this kind of effect on her. Anyone, really. “I want you to check your pictures with me, just in case you don’t like…the way you look or something. The expressions! Yes, that’s what I’m trying to say.”
Good, because she almost thought for a moment that he was trying to say: ‘Hey, your pictures are looking ugly. Can you check and tell me if you’re alright with them?’.
Finally, she steps forward, her legs dangling when she rests her bottom on the stage. “Sure.” Mingyu stands by her side, looking at her profile for a second before returning his gaze to his thick Canon camera, flickering through the pictures he had taken. Bright, with good poses, the angles fitting for every subject of his camera. “I like them.”
“This is the one from when you fell,” Mingyu instructs, making a circle around Hyun’s stuck-out leg. “And she did stick her leg out.”
“Well, I’m not crazy.” She says, rolling her eyes in the process before linking her hands over her lap. Mingyu looks at her, and for some reason, she feels like she knows him. After all, she saw a portion of him not a lot of people got to see—more mature, he seems to be, void of a glistening band around his finger. Perhaps, he just doesn’t like rings at all.
Mingyu looks up and down her features, long eyelashes fluttering against the underside of his eyes before smiling briefly. “Not crazy, but very drunk at times.”
Huh?
Drunk?!
“Excuse me?” She asks, because there is no way in hell Mingyu has seen her or gotten to know her, much less be aware of her when drunken—
Mingyu leans his weight against the stage, elbows propped back as he talks to her. “You don’t remember me?”
From the CD’s? Yeah. From a drunk night? Hell no. “…What do you mean?” She won’t quite in fact confess that she does remember him.
Roses grow on his cheeks, shaking his head when looking down at his camera. “Well, we were at the Urban Lounge. I was taking pictures, and just as I was about to head inside once again with my new film, I saw someone throwing up in the sidewalk. Crying, too.” Oh no. Oh please, don’t let this be the truth— “I decided to help you find your friend Kang Dasom, and then, I returned to the party.”
“Oh no.”
“Oh, yes.”
What are the odds that the sweet man that had rubbed her back when vomiting, was also the same man that helped her with her anxiousness each day when getting home from practice? There can’t be that many good people in this world, but Mingyu couldn’t be two of the nice people she had gotten to know in this city.
Or, rather, he was.
“Nothing to be ashamed of. We have all been there.” Mingyu stops for a moment, pressing his lips together, rubbing them, before releasing his words. “Me more than others, but it’s nice to be the one helping for a change.”
More souls like his should exist in this world. “Ugh, I can’t believe you saw me like that.” She groans, lowering her head until her neck hangs it. Mingyu chuckles from his spot, only to build the tension inside of her. The man in the recordings had seen her like a whole mess, and found it funny at that. Wow. “…You know, not a lot of people can say that they have seen me like that.”
“Not a lot of people see someone throw up before they actually know their names, but alas, here we are.”
“What a way to make a lady feel better.”
Mingyu’s smile falters the slightest bit at that, extending his hand before saying. “Hello, I’m Mingyu, but in this occasion, you can call me a dumbass.”
Funny, he is, enough for a smile to rake over her features even when her elbows and knees hurt. She speaks her name out, letting his professional and soft fingers caress against her own in a shake. Long digits, perfect for photo-taking, but horrible to think about when she remembers he is possibly married.
“I was joking. Don’t worry about it.” Instead, she hears her name being called, Kaleigh with her hands on her hips, waiting for her to return to the stage. “…Uh, I kind of have to get back to work.”
Now, she realizes the thing that dangled from the man at the lounge’s neck was his camera, the strip giving him more leverage when he nods at her. “I do, too.”
“Nice to meet you, Mingyu.”
Nice to meet you, again, maybe.
“Likewise.”
Though, she feels someone stare behind her when she turns around and gets back on her spot, she tries not to think much of it. He may be trying to get a good picture of the one figure in the shadows that is her.
###
Fourteen hours for the first performance of When The Kids Go To Sleep.
Fourteen hours and in the solitude of that stage, with only one light on, everyone from the staff gone to their homes, she feels the most like a star. In this stage, right at this moment, it feels like a star will be born.
The lyrics to the final song repeat themselves from her lips. She knows them by heart, the reason as to why she moved here on the first place, and with her hands gathering all the emotions in the air only to press them to her chest, she feels like she is five percent more ready for the night after. Or, actually, tonight—midnight, it is, and she still hasn’t left the practice room.
Everyone is gone, what is the worse that could happen?
Just as she moves to another spot, keeping the tempo and the rhythm of her feet, a thud interrupts her. Loud, clear, as if someone had opened the door and jumped on the floor. She halters her step, watching the locked doors with a frown on her features. If that door wasn’t open, then how had the sound appeared on the first place?
Her vocal cords close, swallowing thickly as she looks around the stage. If this is a robber, she needs to find something to defend herself with. An umbrella rests at the edge of the stairs, the one she had brought with herself on the rainy morning, cladded in Winnie The Pooh logos on a baby blue background. One step down the stairs and she hears it again, that thud, followed by the incomprehensible set of words the robber says.
Fuck. Someone’s here.
Someone is here and she had not even noticed.
Precision in her walk, she goes over to the hallway to the left of the entrance door, where the noises get louder as she gets closer to the storage rooms and bathrooms. One step forward, followed by her next leg, keeps moving her towards the culprit of the noise, both hands grabbing onto the body of the umbrella with a plan inside her head. She’ll knock this motherfucker down for scaring her that way.
The robber has some sense of humor, however. When she stands in front of one of the storage rooms, the door half-opened, the sound of one Eminem song escaping his lips becomes the main source of speech in this room. Who the hell sings an Eminem song when stealing?
The world is made out of colors and opinions. Maybe, this robber found it fitting.
She opens the door with one swing, lifting her umbrella well up in the air before knocking it against the robber’s head, the smack welcomed by a groan and a whine from the stealer.
“I’m going to call the police—” The robber turns around, both hands cladding his head, his brown hair sticking out at certain spots, a confused glance in his eyes. Well, so that is why the robber was singing Eminem…because it wasn’t a robber at all. “Mingyu?”
Blame it on her sleep deprivation. Yes. That’s it.
“Ouch?” Mingyu utters out, separating the word in syllables just as she reaches forward, rubbing the portion of his head that she just hit.
“I’m sorry. I thought it was someone trying to steal from me and kill me—”
“Who sings while stealing?” Mingyu questions, finally lifting his gaze and straightening his body. His eyes connect to hers, and she finally realizes just how much of a bitch paranoia is.
“I don’t know. I’m sure they enjoy music, as well.”
Mingyu looks at her for a second, blinking, silenced, until laughter escapes his lips. Shortened, at that. “You should consider changing your career path. That arm?” The man flings his arm back and forth, as if pretending to receive the ball from a pitcher in a baseball game. “Perfect for a baseball player.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she grins. “What were you even doing here, oh-so-funny-man?”
The man in question waves his camera in the air, clearing his throat soon after. “Checking the pictures and the videos to see which ones I should take tomorrow.” Right, he probably was preparing for the big night as well. “You’re doing great, by the way. I could hear you from here.”
It’s been a while since she has believed she has done great. Her umbrella becomes her axis, resting it on the floor as she leans on it, a sigh leaving her lips. “I still have a long way before I get to Hyun’s level.”
A bright star under a roof, that’s how Hyun was going to be perceived, while she was going to be one twinkling firelight passing by. Mingyu bites the inside of his cheek, moving towards her with careful steps. “Hey, it’s not a competition…” He tries to make her feel better, as per usual with Kim Mingyu for what she has realized from his videos, but she shakes her head, chuckling in the process.
“God, I’m making it too serious.” She rolls her eyes. After all, Mingyu is a complete stranger. It’s not like he knows that she has seen one of the most private portions of his life in video. “But yes, you’re right. It isn’t supposed to be a competition, but it’s what Hyun has made it so…”
“Then, win.” Mingyu concludes, his lips lifting to the left in a smirk.
She quirks one eyebrow, tilting her head to the side. “Easier said than done.”
“Like everything, but just wait, people will see the same thing I did today.” His eyes trail down her features, chuckling a bit to himself out of awkwardness before clearing his throat. One step back, and the electricity is cut short. “Your pictures came out fine, too. I’ll make sure to do a great job tomorrow.”
“You’re going to be the photographer for the rest of the play?”
“From time to time. As long as I’m not gigged, I’ll be here.” Mingyu replies, placing the strap of his camera’s bag on his shoulder before sighing. “I’ll go catch up on some sleep now. You’re staying here until the morning or do you want me to call you a taxi?”
Tiredness lingers on her body, but she can’t bring herself to sleep. Not when she is one step closer to either fulfilling or destroying her dream. Opening the door for him, she shakes her head. “I’ll stay here until the morning.”
“You sure?”
“I have to practice.”
“If you say so…” He trails, stepping out of the door and walking alongside her before speaking up again. “You know everything is going to be fine, right?”
One look at his profile and suddenly, the warmth that makes place inside her body lets her feel so. Being alright is something she hasn’t considered in the past month of pushing herself to utter perfection, but maybe, it isn’t so far away.
“I think so, too.”
Sprinkles of rain patter against the sidewalk when Mingyu opens the entrance door, swirls of air moving his hair before he places his beanie on top of it once again. Before he could step outside, his hand grabs the handle of the door, sharing a glance with her when saying:
“I hope to see you again.”
With that, just like a leaf through the wind, he flies away.
###
Success tastes like honey.
The magic of being on stage in a musical is that she doesn’t see anybody, but she feels them. The silence that merges into cheers, the faint gasp from someone on row three, or the flash of a camera from someone who wants to capture this moment for when they feel like going back down the stage of nostalgia. Critics scatter around the place, but she can’t vision them, maybe for the better. With shred clothing, bruises and tiredness painted on her skin, she is her character, and whatever her past said about her no longer exists here.
The only thing that lacks are her loved ones, somewhere else in the country, living their lives while she constructs her own. Jaehyo does an imminent job in catching people’s attention with his dance, though not in the center, and Sue does not fall behind with her immaculate acting skills. Hyun, the star of the night, receives attention as deserved. Sure, she is not the most beautiful of people on the inside, but her talent is outraging.
When her bare feet come in contact with the center of the stage, sharing it with Hyun, she spares one look towards the groups of people. First row, with his dark hair absentmindedly pushed away from his face, a black, oversized t-shirt cladding his body and matching his ripped jeans, Mingyu is squatting down to get the perfect shot. The dimmed lights do not let her see the beauty of him, but the camera is pointing towards her, and she relishes on it.
Mingyu’s camera does her justice, after all.
By the time the musical is over, a smile takes over her features, backstage and hearing the standing ovation, blood pumping, hands jittery, and heart on her sleeve when she goes over to Jaehyo and wraps her arms around him with emotions bubbling up on her bloodshot eyes. She really needs to sleep.
The older man’s arms end around her waist. “We did it, Jaehyo! It was a success!” Jumping up and down on his hold, Jaehyo chuckles at her antics.
“Calm down, calm down, it’s only the first night.” Jaehyo whispers, pulling away with a lazy smile on his face. “…But it was one hell of a good first night. Pizza for celebration?”
“You know it!”
The next fifteen minutes consist of taking pictures, trying her best not to concentrate on the photographer or on the hunger that creeps up her body, unable to smile as brightly if it wasn’t for Mingyu. Lacking sleep, needing a nice, fulfilling meal, it’s no wonder that she had not slept a single minute in the past forty-eight hours. Maybe, that’s why she is a bit bummed when Mingyu doesn’t say a thing to her, continuing with his job with utmost professionalism.
Some children gather to take pictures with the cast, unknowingly filling her heart with pride. In one point of her life, she was like them, eager and excited to get the attention of her favorite characters. The magic of theater is that characters, and actors alike, are not unreachable to the watcher. It’s a live source of magic.
Jaehyo is off to greet the deliveryman outside by the time thirty minutes have passed. Her makeup wipes run across her skin, ready to take off the excessive amount of makeup on her skin and exchange it for breathing pores and comfort. She stops looking at her reflection to hunt for someone with the mirror, scanning the room unbeknownst to the rest of the people there. Mingyu’s thighs extend when seated at the edge of one of the vanities backstage, clicking through the pictures as one of the children talks to him. Mingyu seems to be intently listening to the child, but when he looks for something from the corner of his eyes, she feels his gaze on hers.
Her eyes trail down his toned arms, the expansion of his thighs, seeking for the art in him as if she is DaVinci and he is the Mona Lisa. A smile appears on her features, straightening her back and leaning her weight forward to continue to rub her makeup off, not forgetting to make herself look the best as possible. At least, he’s looking.
Yet, she shakes that thought away—he shouldn’t be looking. As far as she knows, he could still be with Yoona.
A hand extends on top of her shoulder seconds after, rubbing at the skin softly, as if giving her a massage, before breathing out her name in that somewhat deep, harmonious tone of his. “…Wasn’t so difficult to steal the show, wasn’t it?”
For someone who is not a good talker in most occasions, the line has her beam widening. “You’re joking.”
“No,” Mingyu says, dragging one seat to her side, the plastic chair making him look smaller next to her, for her artist’s chair is much taller. His legs expand, interlocked hands settled in between his thighs, and she really should stop looking at those—
Her eyes go up.
“Want to look at your pictures?”
She puts the makeup wipe down, running her fingertips on top of her eyelashes to check if there is any leftover mascara there. Clean. All the makeup is off. “Is that the only conversation we are ever going to have? My pictures?”
“We should.” Mingyu mumbles out, frowning his features in confusion before his eyebrows shoot up, realization falling upon him. “Not that I don’t want to talk to you about anything else! Shit, that sounded like such—. Yes, we can talk about something else.”
The smell of thick sauce, melted cheese and corn has her turning towards the red curtains, watching Jaehyo slip inside before giving her the box of pizza that belongs to her. Thanking him softly, she opens it on top of the vanity, pointing at it as she talks to Mingyu. “Help yourself. I haven’t had one of these since the night at the bar.”
Mingyu stands up, hovering over her to be able to get a piece, and she tries her hardest not to bite her lip at the vision of his profile. Definitely crafted by an artist, he is a sculpture made person. “And yet, here you are, eating it again.”
“It may be our thing now.” She replies, leaning back on her seat to watch Hyun downing yet another energy drink, hands contracting against each other, her expression turned somber. “Hey, Hyun!” She calls out, only to have the woman frowning at the sound of her voice and turning her head to the side.
“What do you want?”
“I asked Jaehyo to bring you some pizza. Tell him to—”
“I won’t have it.” Hyun finishes, picking up her purse and throwing it over her shoulder. “…Thank you.” She utters, though she doesn’t stay for long, opening the red curtains and getting away from the actors’ spot.
She doesn’t know why she tries. Maybe, because she thinks the tension between Hyun and herself could be the downfall of the musical, but Hyun is just too thick mentally. “How did this whole rivalry start?” Mingyu says, taking the first bite of his slice before he huffs slightly, trying to cool down the piece that is inside his mouth. Even with his lips half-parted, eyes widened, there is some cuteness to him.
Pressing the pizza up to her lips and biting on it, she shakes her head. “I have no idea.” She replies. “…Are we playing questions now?”
Mingyu shrugs. “Only if you have some.”
“About you? Endless.” She says, leaning forward until she is face to face with Mingyu, taking all in her not to look down at his lips. “When did you start taking pictures?”
“When I was seventeen,” Mingyu says, not backing down the slightest, yet chewing on his meal with expertise. He must have been hungry, as well. “One of my best friends needed some money, so he was trying for modelling gigs. Needed a portfolio and all…so I took pictures of him.”
“Did modelling work for him?”
“Almost.” Mingyu says, finalizing his pizza with one big bite, taking a napkin and pressing it to his lips before continuing after swallowing his food. “Soonyoung is good, my friend. Just…he’s shy, I guess? He didn’t see his potential then, doesn’t do it now. That’s just what happened.”
“Something good came out of it, though. You’re a great photographer.”
“Thank you.” With heated cheeks, he answers. “What about music for you? Or acting…or dancing? Like, musical stuff is just too much. I don’t know how you do it. I can barely walk and talk at the same time.”
Chuckling, she sighs, taking another slice of pizza. A string of cheese follows her first bite. “Uh,” She starts, pondering on exactly what to say. “My family has always been…well, famous. For the longest while, I thought I was going to be anything but famous, like…I don’t know, a teacher or something.” She may like children, but patience is not her biggest of virtues. “But I had no option than to be in the spotlight. Got my first acting gig in a doctor’s show, and I started to like it since then.”
“You were in TV?”
“I was patient number three. That was my character.”
Mingyu laughs joyfully, like he doesn’t care the slightest bit about what the world thinks of him—every particle of this world belongs to him and gives their attention to the beauty of his existence. “Oh, look at that, that’s my favorite character of all time.”
“Want me to give you an autograph?”
Pretending to take off his shirt, Mingyu replies: “On my boobies, please.”
“You did not.” She counterparts, doubling over in laughter at his behavior. “You better have a good set.”
“A good set of what?”
Curling her fingers in the air, she replies: “Boobies, as you called them. I call them titties.”
“Look at me ruining my own joke.”
“Lost the comedic timing, but don’t worry, that happens.” For one second, she inspects the glisten of the cheese on top of pizza, licking her lips with curiousness guiding her actions. “…Your girlfriend must like your jokes, Mingyu.”
Now, let’s see exactly what happened with Yoona. Or Kim Yoona. They should be married at this point. Mingyu runs his free hand through his hair, leaning back on his seat and crossing one leg over the other. “My friends do, but I don’t have a girlfriend to tell my jokes to.”
“…Huh?”
“Surprising?” Mingyu questions, though there is not an ounce of cockiness in his words.
“Very.”
“Why’s that?”
Pointing at the mirror, she says: “Take a look there and then, you’ll know why I wonder you don’t have someone with you.” Also, because he was one day from getting married in the last recording of the box. What had happened? Perhaps, he had been stood up, or they cut the wedding short. Or, even worse, Yoona had been the one left at the altar—
Mingyu chuckles at that moment, grease glistening on his lips, licking them to press them together. “Thank you.”
Sue comes around at that moment, sporting much more simplistic clothes and holding her box of pizza in between her hands. “We’re going to grab dessert and drinks, want to join us?” Jaehyo stands by her side, munching on his meal, and they are two angels at that moment. Kim Mingyu is single, wanting to get to know her, and maybe, hiding the fact that she knew about his relationship a little bit longer won’t do her any wrong.
She looks over at him, shrugging. “I wouldn’t mind. Want to come with us?”
“I have to take care of you if you drink, don’t I?”
“Oh, don’t be too confident.” She says, standing up and picking up her coat, closing the box of pizza in the process. “I may be the one taking care of you.”
Imitating her tone of voice, Mingyu says: “I wouldn’t mind.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” Mingyu repeats, looking down at her lips before returning his gaze towards Jaehyo and Sue. “Let me grab my camera.”
###
Exquisiteness is divine. Pearls in the bracelets around her wrists, a nice dress cladding her body, and the taste of the most delicious of meals, washed away by the concoctions of a chef. The summer nights passed long ago, but the newest era of success has come to her now. Third night, not in a row, of her introduction to the musical world, and each time she sees Mingyu, they end up hanging out after. At first, it was with Jaehyo and Sue, then, it was backstage…and now, she has brought him to a four-star-restaurant, one of the most expensive in the city.
The white ceramic of the plate she is eating from leaves imprints of Ratatouille on its wake, interrupting her speech about one of her childhood memories in order to catch a glimpse of the source of the flash hitting her face. This is familiar—whenever she held hands with one of her family members as a child, someone would take the opportunity to bring a camera up her face, judge her for how she was going to turn out to be without really knowing her. Basking in money, she thought she’d never care—but she did. Having people comment on her from the moment she was born played with her mind far more than she comments.
Beauty of the soul is never enough for them. In a world like this, people can’t be pure.
But with Mingyu, she feels the purest. His eye squints as he takes a picture of her, barely touching his food, as he’d say…embarrassed that she is paying for such an expensive meal. Yet, he deserves it. Sent from heaven, bathed in the golden speckles of destiny, bringing light to the most mundane of activities. He petrifies memories, and what an irony it is, that what she ran away from the most as she was growing up is his biggest passion.
She licks her lips, half-laughing at his antics. “Did you just take a picture of me?”
“You get a very pensive look on your face when you think about the past.” Perhaps, because it hurts her. Racing cars, lovers that didn’t last more than a week, memories of self-love that plaster on what other people thought of her. Young, rich and pretty doesn’t cut it in this world. “S—Sorry, I interrupted you, didn’t I? You were talking about the last time you went to Los Angeles—”
“It doesn’t matter.” She whispers, rubbing her fingers together to take the perspiration away from her skin. “Life is monotone when you’re somewhat famous. You do the same thing over and over again, pretending like it makes you happy.”
“Is that why you moved here?”
In reality, it was the addition of a few things. Her break-up. Her dream. Her opportunity. And running away. “What’s funny is that I didn’t even know what I would do once I moved here,” She replies, shrugging her shoulders after. “My best friend, Miyoung, I talked about her with you…she’s a figure skater, and she was supposed to attend the Olympics this year, but she broke her foot two days before I left. I thought that was the big sign for me not leaving.” Thoughtfully, she thinks back to the phone call she received in the middle of the night above a month ago. Miyoung had not rested the slightest, leading to an injury and sooner than later, a broken foot. Turns out that she would not be able to perform the same way she did before. “…But Miyoung told me it was quite the contrary, that it worked as a push-over for me to get here. According to her, it was my only chance to get a name for myself.”
“You’re on your way there.” Mingyu says, though her rests his camera on his lap, tasting the meal in front of him. “…I didn’t know about your family history or about you before, but I think people will start to recognize you as your own person soon.”
Hopefully, she can only think. “You know what?” She questions. Throughout the entirety of her time there, through the videos she had seen with Mingyu starring in them, an idea had crossed her head— “I think I’d be my happiest if I was just another person into this world. Like you.”
Mingyu shakes his head. “You’re crazy.” He tells her. “Exchanging money, power and success for…being like me?”
“I happen to think you’re a very good person.”
“Kind of.” Mingyu confesses, covering his mouth when he laughs: “But the day I’m gone from this world, no one will remember me. You can leave a mark on people’s lives.”
“So can you!”
“Probably to my children in the future, but not—”
“Listen, Mingyu—” Her words cut short then. How can she say this without outing what will inherently make him mad? “You’ve left your mark on people, I am sure.”
“It’s not the same.” His eyes shine under the golden chandeliers. Young ambition takes over him. “You’ll be legendary. I’ll be remembered by my neighborhood.”
“Maybe, we could exchange.”
“Or we could meet in the middle.” Mingyu conquers, and she likes that even more. Two souls that are clearly different but dance in the middle. Her leg extends forward, brushing against his skin, because she has seen this scene a few times in her life—romance in the form of getting to know each other, but for now, she doesn’t want to care about the outcome. Fuck the introduction or the conclusion, the development is always the best part.
“You know what I want to do?” She asks, the music in the background changing into some typical jazz tune, just as she hovers over the table, face to face with him.
You, she wants to tell him, instead, she looks into his eyes, Mingyu’s expression turning serious, cutting the tension with one of his smiles. “I don’t read minds.” He says. “Tell me?”
“I want to take pictures of you.” She replies, hang reaching for the camera on his lap, trying to understand the garment when she goes back to her seat. Pulling it up to her face, she squints one eye just like he does. She only needs to focus on him, right? “And keep them.”
“Why?” Mingyu asks, though, she can see him softly changing his pose, as to look more relaxed and camera-ready. Well, he does like a bit of attention.
“I want to remember the person that makes me believe there are still good people in this world.” The camera flashes when she takes a first picture, leaning back on her seat to capture more of his body in that black turtleneck and the necklace that wraps around his body. Tanned skin, brown hair, and a beautiful smile when she says those words.
“You haven’t known me for long enough to judge that, you know?”
“Then, give me the benefit of getting to know you more.”
A glimpse of his eyes connecting with hers on the camera has her smiling. “I’ll gladly give it to you.”
At the mention of those words, she lifts her eyebrows, another picture and her mind wander towards to possibilities. “What will you give me? The benefit of getting to know you? Just that?”
“You want more?”
“…It’s enough.”
Mingyu leans forward, his face coming in full view in the camera when he snatches it away from her hold, before whispering. “I was going to say I could give you everything you want, but seeing that just knowing me it’s enough…I’ll accept it.”
God. This man will be the death of her.
###
Two weeks in and not seeing Mingyu feels like it’s almost impossible. They gravitate towards each other—polar opposites that meet in the middle. His steps are heard as she keeps her hand to his, dragging him along over the lineal rug of the hotel they visited—for the pool, which Dasom said was the best—, baby blue doors compared to white walls, the faint swish of the pool nearby making music for the two of them to hear.
“Mingyu, hurry up!”
The fabric of her yellow dress caresses her legs, needing nothing more than to feel like she is living in summer, while the wind clashes with its coldness. Hopefully, the pool warms her body. Mingyu pulls her backwards by the white cardigan draped over her body, connecting his chest to her back. With each breath he takes, her own lungs shake, his voice lowering to speak against her ear.
“What’s the rush?” He asks, the few buttons opened of his floral shirt meeting her contracted muscles. “If I really went as fast as I can go, you wouldn’t be able to keep up.”
That’s the thing with Mingyu—he says the worst of things, in the situations that have her skin heating up, her mind going to places it shouldn’t. Not when he makes her feel like nobody else has done, as if scalding her fingertips to touch him would be worth it. Just before he could apologize, like he always does, because Mingyu just can’t say one thing without fucking up, she looks at him from over her shoulder. “Try me.”
A huff escapes his lips, wrapping both arms around her waist when picking her up and starting to rush through the hallway to get to the swimming pool.
“Mingyu—” Cackles leave her lips, legs flaring because he is just not looking forward. At least, not properly. “We could fall!”
“I’ll catch you if that happens—”
“You don’t know that!”
Floating in the clouds, somewhere beyond the universe, she lets her laughter speak for her. Never would she trust someone with this, but this is Mingyu she is talking about. The man that opens his heart without much thinking. “I promise I won’t let you fall. Just tell me when the swimming pool is close.”
Patting his arm, the toned skin coming in contact with her hand, she says: “Now, now! We’re close—”
Mingyu lets go of her after releasing her on the floor with a thud, turning around to watch the smile on his face when he puffs out his chest and adds: “See? I would never let you fall.”
“Not scientifically proven, so I’m not sure if I can believe you.”
“…You’re so annoying.” Laughing, she places her hands on each side of Mingyu’s body. She needs to get back to him, steal chuckles from his lips, so with one step back, she prepares for the biggest surprise of all. “Do you want me to turn around so you can take off your dress or—?”
Another step back and they are both falling inside the pool, dragged by her own weight.
Warm water bubbles around her, unable to open her eyes until her lungs receive air when getting to the surface. There, the droplets of water cling to her eyelashes, watching Mingyu merging up about at the same time that she did. His shirt clings to his body, thankfully wearing his bathing suit, strands of brown hair pressed to his gorgeous skin when he splashes water her way, though she’s already laughing.
“Don’t do that!”
“Sorry, sorry!” Yet, Mingyu keeps splashing water at her, getting closer and closer until he is just mere centimeters away.
“You think it’s funny, don’t you?”
“I’m a musical actress, not a comedian. Sorry.” Taking the damp cardigan in between her hands, she tosses it to the side, landing at the edge of the pool with a clanking noise from its buttons before jutting her chin forwards towards him. “I’m sorry about your shirt.”
“You just wanted me to take it off.”
“You would’ve even if I hadn’t thrown you into the pool.”
“So, you brought me to this pool for that on the first place.” Mingyu says, brown irises darkening when her fingers reach for the edge of her dress, pulling it up until she is left in a one-piece. That’s the magic of him—making her feel like there is not a competition, as if she’s the most gorgeous woman he has seen in a while. Her assumptions about herself are not seen by him.
“So,” She says, letting the dress fall to the side and trying not to cling to her own body, shrinking in order to hide away from him. Mingyu’s fingers hook around every button of his shirt, taking it off little by little to showcase his slim, yet toned body. “Swimming competition and whoever gets to end of the pool buys dinner?”
“I’ll buy dinner either way, but sure—” She needs to look away. The least she needs is that lingering voice inside her head that tells her that she’d do absolutely anything to get a taste of Kim Mingyu. It feels wrong, how he doesn’t know where she lives, what she found out when being there, how the lines of their stories always seemed to connect…but maybe, he’d feel taken off guard if only he knew the truth. That, in retrospect, she had seen the beauty of him before he even knew about her.
Her phone rings from the bag that she had left at the edge of the pool when Mingyu dropped her on the flooring. Incessantly. Even when she starts swimming with him, laughing along and splashing him on the face at the same time he does, it continues ringing.
Mingyu spares one look at her, pointing at her phone when saying: “Want me to get it for you?”
“No,” Worry rises up inside of her, swimming quickly until she got to the edge of the pool, the third call appearing on her screen once again. Mingyu’s presence is felt right behind her, but she can’t concentrate on him when she reads the contact.
Miyoung.
Something happened to Miyoung.
“Hello?” Fear clings to her chest. Miyoung, her best friend, the apple to her eye, could not have her life any worse than what it is right now. She doesn’t deserve it and as her best friend, she won’t let it happen. “Miyoung, are you okay?”
“Of course, babe. I’m fine.” Miyoung speaks in her typical purred out tone. A breath trapped inside her lungs lets go at that moment, leaning her weight forward just when Mingyu presses his hand to her back, rubbing those soothing circles that she knows so much.
“How is your foot?”
“Healed, thankfully. You already know that.”
“Goddamn it, Miyoung, I thought something had happened to you—”
“Haven’t you checked YouTube? I’m not the one you should be worrying about. Worry about yourself.”
YouTube? One or two videos about her musical had appeared, but she hasn’t been in the headlines for a bad reason. “Why should I worry? What are you talking about?”
Mingyu moves over to her side, and she can feel his eyes penetrating into her side profile when Miyoung utters out: “Haseul released his newest comedy special, and the motherfucker mentioned you. People are going crazy with the memes, you need to check it out.”
“What?” Her ex-boyfriend hadn’t crossed her head in a while. After all, remembering what hurt her the most—the obsession of always being right, the lies, the friends that he said he had nothing to do with and the way he passed her every opinion over his ass as if it didn’t matter…is not what she plans on doing. Not when she’s moving on. Yet, it seems like he doesn’t want her to do just that.
“Check it out. I’m—I’m talking to my PR team man to make a statement. I’m tired of his bullshit.”
“Don’t, don’t!” She says quickly. Miyoung’s career has already fallen down, she doesn’t need unnecessary drama. “I’ll fix it. I—I just need to look at it, okay?”
“Babe, promise me you’re not going to feel bad.”
“Is it that bad?”
“Horrible.”
“Then, I can’t promise anything.” With a sigh, she looks down. “I’ll call you later, okay? Let me see what all of this is about.”
When putting her phone down, it takes less than a second for Mingyu to speak, worry dripping from his every tone. “Wh—What happened?”
Well, time for a fraction of the truth. “Before I came here…I was dating some guy. Well, we had been dating for three months at a maximum. Cheated on me. Went out partying. The typical stuff someone of power does in most occasions.” Turning to her side, she takes the phone in between her hands, looking up the comedian’s name. “He’s a comedian. Eo Haseul. I don’t know if you know him but—”
“Yeah, I know about his comedy.” Mingyu’s frown deepens, extending one hand when leaning on the edge of the pool. “Isn’t he the guy who can only make sex jokes?”
“The one and only.” There it is, the video that Miyoung had been talking about, with over six hundred thousand views in four hours. Well, there goes her reputation. The title of his comedy set is shown there, but nothing else is added. “…We broke up before I left. He broke up with me, basically. Miyoung just called me to tell me he made a comedy set about me.”
“No way.” Mingyu whispers, leaning over her shoulder to be able to look at the loading screen.
“I mean, it shouldn’t be that bad, let’s see what he says.”
It was even worse than she had imagined.
Haseul, in what she had once thought was perfection, stares at the laughing crowd as his lips rest against the mic. His hair is sleeked back, thick eyebrows pursed together when he says: “And yeah, man, I learned last summer that you shouldn’t date a famous bitch. Or a semi-famous one. Normal, average women are fine but give someone some money and they think they can do whatever the fuck they please.” A few sets of laughter follow his statement, and he scoffs a bit for dramatics, trying to make himself sound more interesting. “I’m sure you guys know who I’m talking about, but…now that I’m out of that relationship, I can say that she was crazy. Eyes rolled to the back of her head, greedy as all shit, type of crazy.” He says, as if she is not human—as if she had not done everything in her power to make that toxic relationship work. “I would show you all the videos we had of each other fucking, but man, it’s just too crazy. I’d have to be filling all holes, even the bellybutton. When women are given power? They don’t get pleased by anything. I’d have to contort my body and shit, just to be able to make her moan for one second.”
Tears well up in her vision. The intimacy they had, exaggerated and highlighted for the world to see, torn to shreds because she is a woman with apparent power. Why is it that she can never have some source of happiness before it gets taken away from her?
“And the issues, man. God, I would have to hear her sigh on and on about her issues after sex. Just had my dick and she still had the time to think about how her rich, immaculate life was just not enough for her. See what I mean?”
Laughter, even though it’s not funny, people seem to enjoy it. Trying to turn the tables around, Haseul shrugs.
“I can’t even show you the videos because…I have to be honest, I’m not the biggest of men when it comes to that but—” For once, he targets himself, but the smirk on his face says he is not over with it. “It doesn’t matter. I have to cover my back. The bitch blocked me with the same hand she used to jerk me with.”
The subject changes, but her ears are ringing. Burning anger, impotence, and the tears that escape her eyes as she puts her phone down and rests her forehead against the tiles of the pool.
What was she thinking when she got with him?
“None of those things are true…” She whispers, covering her mouth as if to stop herself from talking. Mingyu, however, maneuvers his body to be able to wrap his arms around her. Her face rests against his chest, the cold skin touching hers, too afraid to look him in the eye. What will he think of her after watching that—?
“I know it’s not true.” Mingyu’s voice has turned serious, pulling away only to have her further pushing her face to his chest. “Do you have his number?”
Mind whirling, overheated, she hums. “I do, but I have it blocked.”
“Give it to me.”
“Mingyu—” Finally, she pulls away, bloodshot eyes staring up at him. “I’m tired of the problems around me. I’m absolutely done with people caring about my whereabouts and what I do. I don’t want more drama—”
“I just want to put him in his place.” Mingyu whispers, pushing her wet hair away from her face before breathing out a small: “Please?”
In the light of the pain caused, her lips are paralyzed, unable to connect her tongue to her mind in order to let some words out. Instead, she reaches for her phone, going through the contact list before seeing it:
Eo Hanseul (Do Not Respond).
Mingyu takes his own phone from her purse—he asked to have it there—, jotting down the numbers before bringing the device up to his ear. He gets out of the water, droplets following after his steps to be able to talk in private. Standing by the clear doors of the hallway, Hanseul seems to pick up his call, because his eyebrows furrow and he opens his mouth to speak.
Kim Mingyu doesn’t seem like the type of man to get angry, but he does that night.
Much of what he says is not understood, unable to disconnect her eyes from mixing the water of the pool with the waterfalls of her feelings, but Mingyu’s voice raises, speaks into the void when he says: “…I don’t care, man, you either grow some balls and start respecting her or you’ll have to have a talk with me.” Now, he seems much taller, buffer, as if his words may be able to deflate the softness of him. Rolling his tongue through his teeth, he hears to what the other man has to say, just as she’s getting out of the pool, only her calves pushed inside. “You think I’m some fool you can play with?”
Well, in comparison, Mingyu is much better than Hanseul. Less of a fighter, more of an empath. However, his Adam’s apple bobs up and down when he swallows, a frown taking over his features.
“You either take all the bullshit you’ve said back or I’ll make sure you pay for it, okay?!” Before Hanseul could retort, the man shakes his head. “I don’t know, release some statement, get your tongue up your ass, but you’ll never talk to her or about her ever again, understood?”
Then, the call comes to an end. Radio silence.
Mingyu puts his phone down, extending his arms just to say: “Come here.”
And she does cling to him, feeling his heartbeat against her eardrums as she cries someone else’s ignorance away.
Though, for Mingyu, the picture is different. “You’re more than whatever people judge you for. Don’t forget that.”
###
Act twenty-four. Twenty-fourth time performing the same character. The critics are getting worse.
Perhaps, it’s her fault. Seated on the wooden floor backstage, while wrapping her legs in bandages to be able to stand the aches, ignore the blossoming memories of the falls she has done while practicing, she sees the most destroyed person in the room staring at herself back in the mirror. Hyun looks way more tired than she did when they were practicing, curling her hand against her stomach—perhaps, suffering by the number of products she puts in her body to be able to keep herself energized—, eyes void of the glint of pertinence that had once coated them, bathed in shadows.
Once again, she takes another energy drink, and it’s about this time that she speaks out the certainty in the room. The one spoken secret that she whispers to herself at night. “I’m worried about you.”
Hyun stops at that moment, not even sparing her a glance, and the shutter of Mingyu’s camera comes to a halt when she finally outs the obvious. Hyun may not like her, but she was a fan of her before she even got here. Talented, she is, and her stomach must not be doing good by the number of energy drinks, caffeine and whatever else she has. Her stress is getting to her, cohabiting inside of her body.
The woman lifts her eyebrows, sucking her cheeks in when she says: “You don’t have to. I’ll be fine.”
“Even I’m not fine.” She confesses, standing up from the floor with wobbling legs. Too overworked. “Hyun, stop drinking this. If you aren’t sleeping or you can’t keep up, it’s okay. We’re here to help each other—”
When her hand comes forward to take the energy drink from her, Hyun pushes her body backwards, the anger in her features dissipating. “You don’t get it.”
“Of course, I do.” She says, only to have Hyun bitterly scoffing.
“Yeah, right.” She concludes, putting the can down before resting her slim hands on her hips. “If this musical keep going like it is, on its downfall, I won’t get any other chance to shine. I won’t get a starring role, and I will definitely see my dream die. You don’t go through that. You have a home to go to, and money to spend—”
An inexplicable feeling embargoes her. While Hyun had gained this position with hard work, a part of her existence there was just for publicity—and her mere presence is what is bringing the musical to its conclusion. “Hyun, I promise…you’re too talented to ever do shit wrong. You’ll get a chance when needed.”
“You don’t know that!” Hyun shouts, running her fingers through her hair before sighing. “Mind your business, okay? Stay out of my way, and stop playing the victim here. I’m fine. I just need to practice more.”
“Go home, Hyun.” She tries to reason, taking the woman by the forearms. “I know you hate my guts, and I would, too, if I were you…but please, just…rest for tonight. The show’s over. We can go home.”
“You do this because you don’t want me to practice so you can be better than me, huh?”
Shaking her head, she tries to reason with her. “I would never. Really. I’m over that.”
“Who are you kidding? Yourself or me?” Hyun questions, taking the filled energy-drink can before tossing it in the nearby trashcan. “Happy now?”
“Hyun—”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go home.”
Her body brushes against hers when passing by her, the clicking of her shoes a sound that she doesn’t want to ignore. Hyun, in that moment, becomes a heroine to her. Image of hardships and hard work, someone who would rather tire herself out than disappointing her vision of herself. Perhaps, she had judged everything wrongly, imagined herself to be this immaculate being that did not deserve to be hurt.
No one does. Hyun didn’t either.
Mingyu accompanies her outside, like he always does, ready to go out with her after another show. However, as the wind bites her arms under her dark denim jacket and the taxis pass by them, ready to be called by her, she feels his hand resting over her shoulder, turning around to look at him. Peaceful, yet worried.
Tugging at the sleeves of his pink sweater, the strands of his hair swirling against his forehead with the movement of the breezy night, Mingyu admits: “I think you need to drop out of this musical. Kaleigh does not care about any of you.”
That much she knows. The leader, the director, only cares about the image she wants to portray of the character, not about the actors that play them. Still, letting go would mean going back home…and back home, she’d go back to the same routine. “What if I don’t find another chance to be on the stage?”
Mingyu sighs. “You and Hyun aren’t so different after all.” The more she sees herself projected in that vanity backstage, the more she sees herself turning into Hyun. Though talented, a portion of herself will get lost down this path. The one that hopes for a happy ending. “Sometimes, we have to realize that what we dream of is not always going to be our reality. And this is not to tell you your dream is not valid, because it is, but the more you stay here…the more it will hurt you to leave. You deserve better than what Kaleigh is giving you, and even if you end up with a small role in some show, or get back on stage again…you’re still you.”
“Well, maybe I’m tired of being me.” She replies, letting her weight lean against the side of his body, his arm cradling her shoulders, eyes looking down at her while she connects her gaze with his, down to his lips.
“I like you.” Mingyu rasps out, though, if he knew where she lived…what she saw…what she knew about his past, would he still be open about those words? “Please, never stop being you.”
She thinks, at this moment in her life, she’ll never stop being his. Yours, she wants to tell him, even if this doesn’t work out, my soul will always be yours.
Though, she fears. What if he isn’t hers? Though he wasn’t hers at the beginning of it all, she kept seeking—
And now, mere centimeters away, with his lips parted, she has him. Breaths mingling when she softens her lips against his, drapes a silent confession that she can’t quite get out without feeling guilty. If he knew more about her, perhaps, he wouldn’t like her. The issues of not knowing how to differentiate what people perceive of her and what she perceives herself, but right now, as she’s with him, she likes who she is. Her truest version, delicate, not aching to feel more, to have more of him, just letting their lips meet softly, knowingly, as if she knows every portion of him and yet, to him, she’s only a shadow.
Her arm hooks around his neck, tilting her body to the side to taste more of him, relishing on his perfume, his hands, the way he always seems to make her feel unique, and not to outcast her, but to blend her into the groups of people that fall for each other. The romanticism that falls into monotony, but it’s oh-so-perfect in its own way.
“That’s my answer for you.” She replies when pulling away, awestruck brown eyes blinking back at her when she smiles.
I like you too, Mingyu.
###
When looking at Mingyu, she would have never believed their first official date would come in the shape of a rock concert. Much less would she have imagined that, upon entering Mingyu’s apartment, much smaller than the house he once shared with Yoona, he’d have collectables of memories that he doesn’t have the time to explain, rushing to get out the door and get to the concert. A local band that she has no idea about, but try their hardest to leave their imprint in this world.
Kissing in cars is how the date ends. In some taxi, with sneaky touches and stolen kisses that promise for a better night. Hazed in his smile, in the tight black shirt that clads his body and the way his big hand splays across her thigh, claiming a portion of her body as his. After a month, even more, of seeing each other, Mingyu feels closer than ever, seated on a portion of her heart as if it is his throne, and it may be. A King of Hearts, as she likes to call him.
The band t-shirt he had bought when getting out of the venue rests over her body, halfway pushed inside his jeans as she twists her head to the side and rests fleeting kisses on the side of his neck. His Adam’s apple bobs, a sharp intake of his breath coming with the tightening hold on her tight.
“Something you should know…” He starts, only to have her humming, teeth digging into the skin of his neck as she hums. “I—I’m not really patient, you know?” His voice wavers, enough to have her chuckling when she pulls away from him and rests a kiss on his shoulder.
“I’ve noticed. Quite childish if you ask me.”
“It’s hard to be patient when you’re around.” She looks at him from the corner of her eye, smiling.
“I’ll have to teach you how to wait, huh?”
Though, when Mingyu had gotten on that taxi, she had not thought about the address she gave. The taxi driver parks outside, thanked by Mingyu as he gives him counted bills and gets out of the yellow car. Much to her distaste, however, when she gets off as well, Mingyu is staring ahead at the white house that had once been shared with the love of his life—
Yoona.
The woman who almost married him.
The one person he had never talked about.
Mingyu opened up about a lot of portions of his live. Childhood. Cousins. Parents. Music. Photography. Collections. Love from teenage years, but Yoona was never touched. Never talked about. She never pushed it, knowing better than getting that information out of him, but when she stands by his side, watching his face turn somber, he softly asks:
“You live here?”
Warning signs appear inside her head, blaring red lights leaving her with no emergency exits. The line has cut short, no longer letting her lie to him in order to keep her secret intact. She knew him before he actually knew her, and she had thought of him as charming then. “Mingyu, yes. I didn’t want to tell you because—”
“Wait, why wouldn’t you want to tell me?” His face turns towards her, and she knows at that moment that she had fucked up. He had not assumed that she knew anything, only asked absentmindedly as memories flashed before his eyes. “Do you know something I don’t?”
She swallows thickly. She could lie to him, come up with lines and improvise, but Mingyu is one of those people that doesn’t deserve that. Instead, she tugs at the collar of the t-shirt on her body, sighing deeply. “Listen,” She starts. “When I got here, I found a box that said ‘throw away’ and it had a bunch of CD’s inside…”
Mingyu pulls back at that moment, shaking his head. “No—”
“And I watched them. You were in all of them with your ex…Yoona.” She whispers, looking over to the side, watching the house that had both introduced her to the person she feels like she is falling for, and that may take him away at that moment. “I didn’t want to pry, I swear. I just…I just did and I kept on watching because of you, and destiny did its thing and it brought us together at the bar, and with you as my musical’s photographer.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Mingyu asks, and she comes up with nothing. Because she didn’t want for him to close up with her, of course. “You knew more about him than I knew about you, and you didn’t even think about giving those CD’s to me…or just…or just tell me that she had kept them there!”
“Well, I just didn’t want you to think I was stalking you or something. It was all a coincidence!” She replies, only to have Mingyu running his hands through his hair, chuckling at the sky before groaning deeply.
“That’s my privacy!”
“Well, it’s not like I knew it was private before!” She argues back, frowning at him. “Besides, why is it so deep for you? You know about Haseul, why does it matter if I know that you almost married Yoona? It’s not like I’m jealous of a woman of your past—”
“Because you have no idea how long it took me to get over her!” Mingyu replies, voice rising, chest heaving. Then, a pout takes over his features as he explains himself, retreating the tone of voice he had just taken up on.
“If you’d let me know what happened, maybe I could understand—”
“Turns out I had a toxic relationship. She wanted me to be her little puppet, make her fantasy come true of a perfect man, and a perfect family, and possibly a…I don’t know…a social media presence where we showed how perfect we are but…I’m not perfect.” He breathes out, biting his bottom lip as he looks at her. “Can you blame me for not wanting to remember all the turmoil I went through because of her?”
“You can just not talk about it if that’s the case. I don’t mind. But you can tell me about these things—” She entices. “I’m not going to judge you, Mingyu. Our pasts are there for a reason—”
“Don’t give me that.” Mingyu answers, smile lines intensified by the purse of his lips. “You always say you want to change your past, to start again, to not remember—”
“But my past and my mistakes made me meet you!” She exclaims. “I can’t turn back time and change things because, maybe, I wouldn’t have met you if that was the case. I like you, Mingyu, almost married or not. I like you for who you are and who you were.”
“If you liked me so much, you could’ve just told me.” Mingyu mumbles, blinking softly.
“…I was afraid, okay? I get to be afraid, too. Just as you were.”
Mingyu falls silent for a second, deep in thought, walking backwards as he says: “I—I just need some time, okay? I get you, but I need…I need to process this.”
She tries to go after him, shaking her head. “Mingyu, don’t do that. We have to talk about this. I didn’t mean to remind you of a bad time—”
“Just…burn that fucking box and…and I’ll talk to you about it later, okay?” Mingyu whispers out, goosebumps going up her arms when she watches him go. Never had she seen him so shattered, hands shaking as he remembers that one portion of his life he never wanted back.
He had seemed so in love.
And now, he can’t fall in love as easily.
Yet, a new beginning is necessary, so when she retreats to her home, she picks up a lighter, walking far down the street with the box in hand to light it up.
The past makes who they are, but it doesn’t define them. From now on, she is the only one that can decide her future, and so can Mingyu for his own life.
###
“Care to tell me why you ruined every single one of my pictures?”
Last show, but Kaleigh doesn’t know it. Just as she’s applying another layer of purple onto her eye, as if to indicate the bruises from her character, Mingyu speaks to her. Over one week of not talking to each other, texts going ignored, time asked whenever they meet, and she has met more than the middle of the situation. Now she wants to go forward, know more of him than of herself, movement more eccentric in order to fuck up his work.
If that’s what it takes to get his attention…
She shrugs her shoulders, patting the makeup sponge against her eye. If he doesn’t want to talk, she won’t talk either. “Just some new dance moves. I added some popping because the character felt like it needed it.” It’s utter bullshit, and the way Jaehyo snorts from his spot tells her that no one believes her. Even Hyun seems to chuckle at her antics, Mingyu’s lost expression mirrored in the vanity.
“Bullshit.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Kim, I don’t think you can talk to the cast like that.” She answers, mischief painted on her face when she connects her gaze with his through the mirror.
Scoffing, he says: “You didn’t think that when you ruined all my shots from yesterday’s night.”
The makeup sponge now rests against the table, her fingers interlocked as she talks to him through the mirror. Today, Mingyu props some pink sunglasses on his head, a leather jacket placed on top of a white t-shirt. “I’m sure they look fine, Mr. Kim. They always do.”
“They’re all blurry.”
“My apologies. You may have to take some pictures tonight, then.”
“…If you even let me. You’re moving around like you have pinworms.”
“Oh my God!” Sue says from her spot, elbows pressing to the back of her chair to be able to look at the scenery. “Is this a pre-marital issue?”
“I think so.” Jaehyo conquers, but she only throws a look at them.
“He’s the one that doesn’t want to talk to me.” She says, standing up from her spot to be in front of Mingyu, in all his glory, staring back at her with a stoic expression. “So…in order to get his attention, I had to find other ways to do it.”
Mingyu breathes out softly, staring around the room before wrapping his hand around her arm. “You want to talk? Let’s do it in private.”
The storage room in which they had met initially, memory of the umbrella that she hit against his head, now becomes the spot for them to meet in. Far more cramped than she remembers it for, with a tiny chair that Mingyu used to take up on to check his pictures. The man in question locks the reddened door behind him, giving one step forward and hence, ending up pressed to her body, hands placed on his own hips when he asks:
“You have something to say? Speak.”
Maybe, she had tried the worst of ways to get his attention. Annoyance, for once, is not something that pairs up with Mingyu’s face in most occasions. Yet, she finally gets to hear his voice. Angered. Cut short. Yet, unknowing of the reality that breathes through her pores.
“I’m sorry…for not telling you I had seen those videos. It was your privacy and I shouldn’t have looked, but after I did, I should’ve told you and given them to you to get rid of them. I did, but yeah…” Her voice falls into a softened tone, looking into his brown irises, down to his straight nose, a few speckles of facial hair on top of his lip, barely noticeable and those rose-colored lips that she has been missing for the past week. All of him, really, from his voice to his thoughts, to the impatience that takes over him. “Mingyu, I would never judge you for your past. Not when you weren’t the one at fault. We all make mistakes and I don’t think any less of you for being naïve enough to involve yourself in that situation. I like you with or without Yoona in your life. If you want to talk about it, I’ll accept it…if you don’t—”
“I want to talk about it.” Mingyu says, breathing out in a way that has the warmth of him touching her lips. His chest expands, flush against her breasts, when he explains his truth. “I met Yoona when I was seventeen. She was friends with Seungkwan, a friend of mine, and he got us in this blind date thingy because…I don’t know, I was bored, I wanted a date.” He shrugs, though his eyes show that he really cares. “So, we started a relationship…and we started living together soon enough. I didn’t care. I worked two jobs, all to be able to move from our apartment to a bigger house, and then she got other jobs…and we made it. She said she wanted to have a family soon, that she’d start recording us…whatever. You know that part.” His life seemed so much easier than what he described, but that’s just what the video-camera showed. “Turns out that she got out of all her jobs, expected me to pay for everything, and lived the most exotic of lifestyles. If I ever told her we couldn’t buy something, she’d take it out on me…” Mingyu sighs, shaking his head in the process. “We’d fight all the time, but I loved her, so I proposed. Turns out that it didn’t work, and I cut off the engagement the morning of our wedding.”
“As you should have…” She elongates, only to have Mingyu chuckling darkly.
“Yeah. I was reassured that it was a good decision when three days later she started dating a famous YouTube guy and she started vlogging for real.”
“I’m so sorry, Mingyu.” With all the sincerity she can muster, locked away in the depths of her heart only for him to see, she sighs. “…You deserve better.”
“I know I do.” He finalizes. Looking down at her lips before smiling softly. “Glad we sorted that out.”
“Sorted that out? I acted like a spoiled brat just to get your attention. I’m sorry for that, too—”
“Ah, don’t worry.” Mingyu replies, wrapping his arms around her waist before pressing her back to the wall. The dry paint clings to her clothing, rubs against it when his fingers rub against her skin over the fabric. “You always have my attention, even if you ruin my pictures in purpose just to get me to talk to you. I needed some time, that’s all.”
“Yeah…I’m so sorry.”
Mingyu doesn’t utter another word, lips conjoining in a smile before they rest over her own. Much of the like of the type of kisses they had shared in that taxi ride, hands folding the fabric of her clothing when he brings her clothing, breathing against her skin as he slowly takes over the kiss. His lips part, his left hand going down to his hips, towards her thigh before lifting it over, pulling their bodies closer when he settles himself between her legs, head turned to the side just as her fingers rake through his hair.
He doesn’t care. Doesn’t mind having his hair messy, his camera pushed away from his neck and put carefully to the side as she continues kissing him. Though, he does care about her, only pulling away to ask: “How many minutes you have until you go up the stage?”
Staring at the clock on the wall, she breathes against his lips. “Like thirty minutes.”
“May I…?” Mingyu asks, eyes joining desire with worry, pressing his hips forward, abdomen contracting when her hand caresses his jaw, touches his neck and lets her thumb rub over the column of his throat.
“…Of course, Mingyu.”
It’s not the most romantic of places, but it happens with a soul she doesn’t want to exchange. For once, his name becomes a poem, and she will never find a rhyme better than him.
###
Two set of judgmental eyes watch her as she slides the folded piece of paper in her hands towards Kaleigh. Always sporting an all-black outfit, those glasses that hide the malice in her gaze, and before her lips could part to utter one of her simplistic sentences, she bathes on the glow of getting out of her last show. Of trying her best, and yet, not having the best outcome.
“It’s over.” She says, sighing deeply with joined lips as she rests her hands in the depths of her jeans’ pockets. “I don’t want to be part of this musical anymore. Thank you for the opportunity, but I feel as though I don’t fit this team…or your vision of me, whatsoever.”
There, while the rest of the team are taking off their makeups, getting rid of their clothing, children bustling around, overexcited from the sceneries, Kaleigh is speechless. Hyun, on one hand, steps forward, eyes widened.
“She can’t leave.” Turning to her, she shakes her head. “You can’t leave, you’re one of the main characters.”
“I don’t think I will continue down a path of happiness if I stay here. My mental health comes first, and Kaleigh can’t bring me that as a director.” She adds, pointing at the paper in between Kaleigh’s hands, still unopened. “Right there, you can see my resignation letter. I don’t want to be part of this team anymore, and Kaleigh can choose to talk badly about me as an actress if she so pleases.”
Kaleigh scoffs from her spot, nodding at what she says. “Of course, I will. How unprofessional do you have to be to leave the musical like this?”
What hurts her the most is leaving her cast. Leaving her character, ever, that wants to give out such an important message about the reality people live. Instead, she has to let go. Better opportunities will come for a dream that is not yet set in stone. “Very. But I think it’s the best decision.” Pushing herself away from the situation, she starts walking away from the stage. Her home, really, but one that will fall to shambles if she doesn’t leave now.
She doesn’t expect to hear someone’s voice then. “We need you.” Mixed with her name, Hyun speaks. The woman that hates her the most, yet, when turning around, seems to look at her with a plea in her brown eyes. She smiles, because Hyun deserves it. The woman is given, that much she can say.
“You don’t.” She answers, sighing deeply. “The stage needs you, but it doesn’t need me. As long as you keep this story alive, I can be replaced. That, you don’t have to worry about—”
“But you won the audition—”
“No, it was given to me.” Truthfully, the more she thought about it, the more she realized Kaleigh never wanted her there for her talent. “And I don’t want to be there for publicity. I don’t need that pressure on me. So, the real talent should stay.”
With that, she turns around, giving the last few steps until the coldness of the night bites at her skin.
Seated on the sidewalk, Mingyu rummages through his phone, unaware of her presence as he listens to music with his earphones plugged in. The cars pass by, gray concrete matching his dark outfit. Just a few hours earlier, she had seen him without him, but not sedated yet, she kneels until she is hugging him from behind, pressing a kiss to his cheek and humming in delight at the heat of his body.
Not hers. A person can’t be hers. And though he isn’t hers, she doesn’t mind it.
Mingyu takes off one of his earphones, turning around to look at her and asking a silent question with his eyes.
“What?” She puzzles, only to have Mingyu widening his eyes.
“How did it go?”
“Badly. It hurts.” Her heart aches at the idea of not getting another chance, giving all her might into acting tonight…and perhaps, the only night that she will get to act again. “But it’s what I had to do. I’m going to find a better opportunity later on.”
His smile widens, leaning forward to steal a kiss from her lips before joining his free hand with the ones conjoined over his stomach. “I’m so proud of you.”
“If you’re so proud, let me invite you to dinner.” Standing up, she watches as he follows after her steps.
“Let me pay for once!” He whines, only to see her shaking her head.
“Nope. I’m your designated sugar mommy.”
“You’re totally not.” Mingyu denies, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
“Come on, let me live the dream.”
Though, hers will remain paused for now…until a better chance comes about. A real one, perhaps.
###
Bad news always come like a train-wreck. Life is silent for a second, too eerily silent, and the moment she opens her eyes, everything is shattered. This time around, it wasn’t any different. Seated on the counter, Mingyu working on making a set of pancakes, taking his precious time on heating them to utter perfection, she doesn’t think anything when turning on her phone. If anything, she is staring forward, at the way Mingyu’s back muscles contract with the movements of his arms.
Kim Mingyu has this magic of appearing in someone’s life and never giving the person the benefit of asking themselves if they want him to leave. She doesn’t, and that’s factual. A little above a month after she left her job at the musical, she has tried to avoid all contact with everyone from her cast—from Jaehyo to Sue, obviously with Hyun, trying her hardest to show to her family and friends back at home that she can stay here and fulfill a dream. So far, nothing has worked.
But Mingyu has.
Not spoken into the night but fallen into place, Mingyu spends more time at her place than he does on his, giving a piece of his heart to her, while he has all of hers. With each passing day, the comfort of him becomes the sunlight of her days, though the clouds seem to gather in her personal life. Mingyu finds gigs, but the tabloids have forgotten about her after the viral video of her past relationship.
This time around, the headlines in her phone—from the notifications of her favorite magazine—inform her something more.
Han Hyun dies while practicing for new musical. Doctors confirm gastrointestinal bleeding.
When standing up, the chair falls behind her. Fear. Petrification. Perhaps, regret. Hyun had so much life within her—a pulsating need to be the best, and she was. Then, stress took up all of her life. So young, yet now not existing in the same world as them.
The room seems to rotate by the time Mingyu speaks her name into the dense air. “Hey, what happened?” He moves towards her, but she gives a few steps back, uttering the words that hurt her just by hearing them.
“Hyun died.”
One never really thinks about an enemy dying. A rival, really. The fear starts to become palpable when people think of their loved ones dying, but when it comes to someone that they can’t stand…it almost seems favorable. To have them away from this world. Yet, she can’t even utter another word, entering her room and throwing herself into the bed. The sheets are crumpled between her palms, tears blinding her vision as she thinks of all the times, she bumped hands with Hyun.
She was so talented.
It almost felt like she had to take care of her. Each and every single time she told her to mind her own business, she never did.
The door opens softly, her name called once again, though she doesn’t want to listen. Never has she liked Mingyu seeing her crying, but at this point, when he rests his weight next to her on the bed, his elbow resting adjacent to her body as he horizontally leans his weight on her back, she can’t help but let out a little weep.
“Hey…” His fingers trail down her spine, speaking softly. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” She turns around, hair done a mess as she stares into his eyes, trying to stop the hiccups that shake her frame. “She had so much to give, and look at what happened to her. I couldn’t even—I don’t know, say goodbye to her?”
“You don’t have to think about what you didn’t do.” Mingyu replies after a few seconds of silence, bringing his body forward until he is hovering over her, kissing the tears away before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “…You can only think about what you’re going to do now. Not take people for granted. Get to know people better. Avoid rivalries. That’s all you can do.”
Staring up at him, she realizes one thing. One day, we’re here, the other, we’re not. We don’t belong to anyone—not even ourselves—, but to the world instead. Life plays with us like marionettes, puts us in places that we think we can never get out of, but the road ahead is so much more surprising. Living in a labyrinth, looking for people who understood her, new beginnings and thrilling stories, she found someone. A person that she doesn’t want to lose, and someone whom hasn’t heard the truth. The full and heart-wrenching truth.
Because Mingyu is there. Belongs to the universe, and never to her. One day, anything could happen. He could get tired, bored, could simply move on and call it quits. He could come home one day and say that he doesn’t want to be with her anymore. But now, as his sleepy gaze stares at her with worry, she realizes that she doesn’t want him to belong to her. She wants to be with him. Aches and desires to spill her truth out and enjoy him for the time that life plants him there for her to enjoy.
May the flowers bloom of the seeds her words leave. They could die, but they will get to grow first.
“…I have to tell you something. Before it’s too late to actually say it…” She mumbles, rubbing her eyes and her nose, sniffling softly before looking into his eyes. There has always been this understanding in him, even when he doesn’t always say the proper thing—as if he knows, deep within him, that they understand each other. That no matter how many times mistakes settle on their hearts, they know their deepest intentions. “It may be too soon for you and I know I said I’d wait until you’re ready but—”
“I love you.” He says it first, aware, not shying away, savoring the taste on the roof of his mouth before stealing another kiss away from her lips. “I don’t want to wait. Good things can’t wait.”
He always said he wasn’t the most patient, but perhaps, she was the one that would wait a thousand years just to have him.
There is not an exact reason that she can think of as to why he would love her. Why, out of all things, Mingyu would open up his heart again—and why she does, too. They have been broken, but they grew two new, stronger hearts. Not fixing the old ones, but helping each other craft a new organ. One where he made a home for her, and she has made a throne for him.
“I love you and I want you to know that I’m here for you. For anything. Whatever you need me for.” He breathes out, rubbing his fingers on her cheek before looking down at her. “…If it wasn’t that what you were going to tell me, I’m sorry. Again, my second name is dumbass so—”
“I love you, too, Mingyu.” She tries to chuckle through the tears, though her bottom lip pouts out and Mingyu sighs deeply, wrapping his arms around her and relishing her with a kiss.
Though love is not perfect, it’s much better to meet in the middle. Two people who will either end up together forever, or for whatever long ever decides to stay. Never can be an option, too, but she knows that whatever the outcome is, Mingyu is the one portion of her past that she would never want to forget.
And it’s time for her to learn that the hours of the life clock are ticking, and she wants to spend all of them with him.
#mingyu scenarios#mingyu#seventeen scenarios#seventeen#kpop scenarios#writing#seventeen au#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#mingyu au#mingyu fluff#mingyu angst#photographer!au#musical actress!Au#this is such a slowburn fic like lord help me#also i've had this idea since last year and didn't know who to write it for but#mingyu seemed fitting so#here goes
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Kiro’s Hidden Light Date Translation [CN]
Hi, everyone! Thanks so much for your patience! I really appreciate it 💛
Just a couple of things before you begin reading. I don’t actually know any Chinese so this translation was done through the power of Google Translate. A huge shout-out to @keliosyfan for all the help with this translation and for also listening to me crying and screaming as I translated this date! Sorry about your ears 😅
There is a call that comes before the date which I’ll link here!
This translation contains spoilers for a date that has not yet been released to the ENG server. If you wish to not be spoiled, please don’t look below the cut.
Hope you enjoy~ 💛
*Spoilers for future content below!*
[First Part]
In the Temple of the Gods, the new gods gathered here for the first weekly meeting since taking office.
I was holding a thin report, standing at the end of the reporting line--
As the first star god in the God Realm, my job is too simple compared to other gods.
After the sun sets, I wake up the sleeping stars in the galaxy. This is my job.
Lord God: It’s your turn, God of Day and Night
The voice of the Lord God rang above the temple, and the man who was summoned walked slowly to the center of the hall.
???: Lord God, I have a request….
A bitter feeling poured in, I lowered my head and tried not to look at the back that seemed to have become thinner--
The God of Day and Night, Kiro.
(Flashback)
I met him at the New God Training Camp years ago.
Every new god must learn about their responsibilities here, and then use their performance to assign the appropriate position.
Priest: The subsequent training is a pair of two, the grouping rules are very simple.
Priest: There are two of each kind of pastry on this long table, and two people who have the same one will automatically be matched.
I scanned the big circle with interest and my eyes landed on a pastry that looked tasty.
Just when I was about to pick it up, a slender hand stretched out at the same time.
I looked up and saw a handsome man standing beside me with a bright smile on his pale face, his eyes brilliant and pure.
Priest: After you choose, you can take the pastry and find your partner.
Kiro: It seems that we’ve already completed the next step. *Changed some wording*
Kiro: Hello, my name is Kiro.
MC: H-hello, I am MC.
At that time, I blushed and my heart was beating very fast. Maybe it was because his smile was too gorgeous.
Since then, we have become good partners who talk about everything.
We climbed the wall and skipped class together, and set off the fireworks behind the mountain under the stars to share every day with each other after agreeing to become true gods.
Kiro: But….I hope we can stay together and become gods who are sincerely respected by people.
My heart was beating rapidly at his sincere tone, and I suddenly realized that my feelings for him were more than just platonic. *Changed some wording*
I want to be with him all the time and share with him all the beautiful things in the world--
Kiro thinks the same way, right? Otherwise, he wouldn’t make the promise of “always being together”.
Our feelings must be the same.
With this in mind, until the graduation ceremony of the new gods a week ago, the Lord God announced the new god’s proposed deity.
Lord God: ….Finally, it is proposed that Kiro is the God of the Sun and MC is the God of Night.
I happily accepted the proposal knowing that in the God realm, the God of Day and the God of Night will be regarded as an official pair.
And every day and night, they will accompany each other and will be bound together forever. *Changed some wording*
However, I forgot to confirm Kiro’s thoughts and didn’t even glance at his expression after hearing the proposed order.
I only remember that I was happily drunk and took his hand while talking a lot.
MC: I’m so glad!
MC: When I become the God of Night, I will give you the brightest star!
MC: And, I….
I also said a lot of nonsense. As for the content of the nonsense, it doesn’t matter anymore.
The important thing is that Kiro saw the Lord God in private on the second day, which caused the Lord God to change the original plan of the gods in the subsequent ceremony of the gods.
Lord God: Starting today, Kiro alone will be the God of Day and Night, and MC will become the first star god.
MC: Did you ask the Lord God to change the proposed deity position?
After the ceremony, I asked Kiro outside the temple gate, and he nodded silently.
MC: Why?
Kiro: I….
Seeing his hesitant expression, I understood in an instant--
He is unwilling.
He would rather bear the weight of the power of two gods alone than to get involved with me anymore.
I forgot how that day went on. I just felt that I was in an emotional, shameful and sullen mood ever since.
Later, Kiro would come to me almost every day, probably because he wanted to continue to be friends with me. However, I couldn’t deal with this mood of mine, so I constantly avoided him.
Kiro: ….Therefore, I need to familiarize myself with the work of the Star God.
MC: ?
After looking back, I realized that Kiro had turned his head and his eyes met my own.
All the gods are looking at me, and the God of Prophecy with whom I have a good relationship with winked at me.
Kiro: Would you like to spend a day with me, Star God?
[Second Part]
After walking out of the temple, I figured out what happened.
In order to confirm the position of the moon and stars, Kiro asked the Lord God to spend a day with me and get acquainted with each other’s work.
I stood at the door of the temple with a blank stare, not understanding why he wanted to do this.
Does he really want to get involved with me? Or is it just for work? But why do we have to spend a day together if we want to allocate the moon and the stars reasonably?
I couldn’t understand it for a while, but I also couldn’t violate the Lord God’s order, so I had to stand outside the temple gate and wait for Kiro to drive the solar cart to pick me up.
His first task every day is to drive a solar cart to fill the earth with sunlight.
Even though I kept avoiding him, I often belittled myself for being useless, and at the same time asked the God of Prophecy about the situation.
During the day, he was busy dealing with various official affairs, and at night, he stayed alone in the Temple of Sun and Moon, without ever taking a step outside of the temple.
I have been thinking about all the different reasons, but this seems to be Kiro’s secret. Even if the God of Prophecy wanted to tell me, she couldn’t speak.
??: Star God~ Congratulations~
Following the voice, the God of Prophecy walked towards me with a grandiose expression on her face.
MC: Congratulations?
God of Prophecy: Isn’t it worthy of congratulations to spend a day with someone you like?
I quickly covered her mouth and looked around nervously.
This woman can be said to be the god with the most amount of gossip amongst the gods, but she really knows all the secrets of the world. *Changed some wording*
Due to the divine order, she couldn’t tell the secret to anyone, so she often wanted to gossip about others but to no avail, and finally scratched her head in a hurry.
MC: If you talk nonsense, I will destroy your temple!
God of Prophecy: Ok, ok, don’t destroy my temple. You can destroy the gift I gave you instead.
Seeing that I didn’t respond much, she was a little confused.
God of Prophecy: You really haven’t opened the secret scroll I gave you?
God of Prophecy: As long as you open the scroll with your own hands, you can see the secret you want to know the most.
MC: ….I have no secrets that I want to know.
God of Prophecy: Then return it to me!
MC: I put it under the rock next to the galaxy. You gave it to me, how I use it is my own business.
God of Prophecy: You….
The sound of horse hooves interrupted our conversation, and Kiro stopped slowly in front of us while driving a solar chariot pulled by a horse.
Kiro: Have you been waiting long, Star God? *Changed some wording*
God of Prophecy: Even if you made her wait for you for a hundred thousand years, it still wouldn’t be too long for her….
MC: Don’t listen to her nonsense.
I hurriedly interrupted her and immediately climbed into the chariot.
(Cut to the sky)
Kiro chuckled softly. He raised his whip and the horse whinnied and soared into the blue sky.
The daylight poured out from the chariot, the golden morning light flowed slowly like a river, tinting the colour of the sky a little bit golden.
Kiro didn’t seem to intend to return until the daylight dyed the sky.
After smooth sailing, the solar chariot stopped on a lotus pond in the Valley of Spirits.
(Cut to Valley of Spirits)
When he got out of the chariot, the flowers and plants stretched out to reach wherever he passed. The elves woke up from their slumber and surrounded him immediately as if saying hello.
Kiro: This is where I rest. I will come here every day after sunrise.
MC: Are we not checking the positions of the moon and stars….
Before I finished my question, a white deer appeared.
Its breathing was laboured. It then bowed its head and rubbed Kiro’s hand, its white belly bulging. *Changed some wording*
MC: Is it sick?
Kiro looked at it thoughtfully for a while and lightly stroked its stomach.
Kiro: I think it knows that I will be here every day and come to me for help.
Kiro: It seems that it will become a mother today!
I opened my mouth wide in surprise.
MC: Do you still care about this kind of thing?
Kiro: You have to know a little about everything.
He walked to the side of the deer and put his palms close to its body. Its original anxious breathing was slightly calmer.
He slowly squatted down, lying his body softly on top.
Kiro: Don’t be afraid, we will stay with you.
He stroked the deer’s belly gently as if helping it to relieve the pain.
The broad palm of his hand moved lower, and the fine fur was peeking between his fingers.
The soft sunlight formed a hazy mist on the lotus pond.
The deer’s expression gradually eased and its stomach began to rise and fall softly.
Kiro: Like delivering sunlight, what I am doing now is also part of the work of Apollo.
Kiro: I need to witness the rebirth of everything with my own eyes.
Kiro: The existence of life is meaningful, and their blooming will bring beautiful colours to the world.
His voice was very soft, the dazzling sunlight was quietly reflected in his eyes, a clear and profound memory spread out in my mind.
(Flashback)
Not long after we entered the training camp, the priest was telling the theory of “God is equal to all beings”.
Kiro sat beside me, frowned and listened for a long time, then shook his head slightly.
Priest: Kiro, do you have any different opinions?
Kiro: Priest, can God really be equal to all beings?
Priest: Why do you ask?
Kiro: Because you said before that God loves all beings.
Priest: God does love all beings, why can’t all beings be equal?
Kiro: Suppose a poor mother who is committed to goodness steals rice from a robber’s house for the child in her womb.
Kiro: The robber brought the mother to ask God if she had stolen rice.
Kiro: If God answers yes, the robber will kill the mother. If God answers no, he will let the robber lose his property for no reason.
Kiro: At this time, what should God’s answer be; yes or no?
Priest: If it were you, what would you answer?
The priest smiled and turned the question back around. Kiro stuck out his tongue and scratched his head embarrassedly.
Kiro: I am afraid I cannot achieve absolute “equality”.
Kiro: I don’t think that God is heartless.
Kiro: As long as there is love in the heart, it will always be biased towards the other at a certain time.
(Flashback ends)
Leaning to the other side….I slowly squatted down and gently stroked Mother Deer’s head.
At the end of that class, the priest did not judge Kiro’s right or wrong. As he said, Kiro always loved the world in his heart.
He will look down at the earth intently and affectionately when the daylight is falling, and comfort for the mother deer who is waiting to give birth.
He was still as bright and dazzling as I remembered him, illuminating everything around him.
I have no stand because of his rejection, his love just happens to be unbiased to me.
But….
MC: Why did you bring me here and tell me this?
I couldn’t help but utter the doubt in my heart. He raised his eyes, and the corners of his mouth rose into a nice arc.
Kiro: Didn’t we make an agreement?
Kiro: That we would share every day with each other.
I swallowed and hesitated.
MC: So, you told the Lord God that we should be familiar with each other’s work….
Kiro: That’s deceptive.
Kiro: Sorry, I lied.
Kiro: If you don’t do that, I won't know when I will see you.
Kiro: You’ve been avoiding me…and I really miss you so much.
[Third Part]
My eyes suddenly widened and my heartbeat gradually accelerated uncontrollably.
The tenderness in his voice was so profound and I was plunged into chaos.
MC: Why….
Why did you refuse to become the God of Day and Night with me, yet you still say you miss me?
Mother Deer suddenly squirmed and interrupted my thoughts.
It twitched lightly. After a while, a small white deer was lying behind it with closed eyes.
Kiro stood up with a smile, his eyes bright and pure.
Kiro: Let’s go, there’s one more interesting thing I want to share with you.
(Cut to the city)
Stepping into the city-state in the Valley of Elves, I fell in love with this lively scene at first glance.
All kinds of shops are displayed on both sides and elves who are performing shuttle through the valley.
Kiro: Today is the traditional festival of the elves, the Sunshine Festival.
Kiro: In order to thank God for giving them daylight, they would dance at the assembly on this day each year.
A burst of drums sounded suddenly, and the elves stopped their movements altogether.
They formed a circle, accompanied by an ensemble of flutes and danced together without a care in the world.
The lively atmosphere made me forget my complex emotions for a while. I looked around and inadvertently stared at a majestic male elf for a moment.
The elf smiled sweetly at me, then waved at me exaggeratedly.
Are the elves really passionate? This is much cuter than the gods back in the God Realm. *Changed some wording*
I also raised my hand and waved at him vigorously. He was stunned and then walked straight towards me.
As he walked, he took out a pendant necklace with a sun pattern from his arms.
MC: ?
In my confusion, my sight was suddenly blocked by a chest. I raised my head to meet Kiro’s eyes.
Just as I was about to ask him what he was about to do, he opened his palms and out came a dazzling beam of sunlight.
He folded the beam into a beautiful necklace and quickly put it on my neck.
Then, as if inadvertently, he turned slightly so that the elf could clearly see my sun necklace.
The elf immediately stopped and retreated with a hurt face. I blinked confusedly.
MC: What’s wrong?
Kiro: Today, if you give jewelry with sun elements to others, it means that they are….dance partners.
Kiro leaned over, gently holding out one hand in front of me.
Kiro: Beautiful goddess, can I invite you to dance?
MC: Forget it….
Kiro: If not, there’a a blood-sucking monster in the tower over there. *So I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what he’s saying here. GT gave me, “Place an order at the Fairy Ball. There’s a World of Warcraft Tower.” 😅😂*
MC: ….Is that a lie?
Before I could refuse, he naturally took my hand. The familiar temperature made me shrink back a little unconsciously, but he held me tighter.
His arm was firm, and the hot breath immediately hit me. A crimson blush made its way to the tips of my ears, and my heart was beating violently.
MC: Did you say…. you thought about me sincerely?
My chaotic brain lost the ability to think, and I actually said what I felt aloud.
MC: It doesn’t matter if you don’t answer!
Kiro: As sincere as I can be. *Changed some wording*
I suddenly raised my head and looked into his eyes, pure sincerity seemed to be revealed in those blue eyes.
The rhythm of the music became more and more lively, Kiro motioned to me to follow in his footsteps, leading me in circles on the dance floor to his heart’s content.
When the music came to an end, everyone suddenly surrounded Kiro and me in the middle of the valley.
An elderly elf walked through the crowd, and the elf made a respectful gesture, calling himself the “patriarch” respectfully.
Kiro and I also gestured to him politely. He walked over and patted Kiro’s shoulder with relief.
Patriarch: I declare that they are the most unique couple for this year’s dance party!
MC: Pair??
I hurriedly let go of Kiro’s hand.
MC: No, we are not a pair!
Patriarch: What? Are you really not a couple?
The elven patriarch seemed to be a little confused, but he replied with a clear expression.
Patriarch: This child is quite silly--, you are obviously together! *Changed some wording*
I raised my voice anxiously.
MC: I said, We. Are. Not! *Changed some wording*
Patriarch: What? -You said you are?? *Changed some wording*
He smiled even more.
Patriarch: Your bond is so strong, bless you, my child.
MC: I….
Patriarch: He gave you the most beautiful sunshine jewel, which means that you are in love with each other, and your dancing is also perfect.
MC: Perfect? Our dancing?
I looked at Kiro abruptly who was smiling, his eyes were mottled with light and dark. *Changed some wording*
MC: You, you knew everything?
Kiro: Well, I know the dance of love and harmony.
MC: ….Is it just this?
I raised my hand and waved an enchantment to isolate ourselves from the noises surrounding us so I could let out the grievances in my heart.
MC: Do you still know why I avoided you these days and how I felt?
He didn’t say anything but just lowered his eyes.
It turned out that he really did know, but….he pretended that nothing happened. Even after giving me sunshine jewelry and dancing with me...
I didn’t understand what he was thinking, unwilling and shameful emotions swept through my heart, and I clenched my hand into a fist.
MC: You clearly refused to let me be the Night God, and refused to be with me for a lifetime. Why do you want to dance with me?
He lifted his eyes which were flashing with emotions I couldn’t understand.
Kiro: Can I answer this question for you tomorrow?
Kiro: It’s getting dark, let’s go back.
MC: Why can’t you make it clear today? I’m not sure if I will have the courage to listen to the answers tomorrow.
I took a step back angrily and a monster approached the elf who wanted to give me jewelry.
He stood behind the elf with a weird expression. In the next second, he reached out and held the elf in front of him, opening his mouth wide to reveal horrible fangs.
MC: Monster!
I subconsciously retracted the enchantment and raised my hand to send a sharp divine power to the monster.
He tried to escape, but he was shot in the shoulder by a golden arrow in the next second.
The elves suddenly scattered, the monster latched onto the elf’s shoulders and ran to the depths of the valley.
I looked in the direction from which the arrow came, Kiro was holding a golden bow and arrow. He nodded to me and ran in the direction where the monster escaped.
(Scene change)
In the outskirts of wildflowers, Kiro and I surrounded the monster.
Seeing that he had no way of retreating, the monster slammed into Kiro who was closer to him.
Kiro stood, unmoving, and slowly raised a hand.
The last gleam of the afterglow was hidden behind the thick clouds, and the sky was completely dark.
At that moment when the monster was about to attack Kiro, a brilliant beam of silver light overflowed from Kiro’s palm.
The light gradually enveloped them, dyeing Kiro’s blonde hair silver, and under the light, the beast turned into ashes!
MC: What happened….?
Kiro looked at me and took a step back. The flowers and plants at his feet turned into dust in the blink of an eye following his movements.
I took a deep breath and stared at his feet. He seemed to notice, looking at me with a helpless expression.
??: It’s dark, let’s go back.
His vague response made me feel a little flustered. The answer is there: It gradually became clear in my heart, and my fingertips started to feel cold.
He must be hiding something from me.
I wanted to get close to him, but he backed away in a panic, and I had to stop.
MC: You’re not going to tell me anything, are you?
He lowered his head, his trembling eyelashes cast a shadow on his eyes; full of emotions and secrets.
God of Prophecy: Do you have any secrets you want to know?
The words of the God of Prophecy rang out in my mind, and my heart throbbed.
MC: If you won’t tell me, I have a way of finding out.
[Fourth Part]
Regardless of Kiro’s surprised look, I turned around and ran back to Galaxy.
Taking out the picture scroll under the big rock, I hurriedly opened it, but there was nothing on it.
I got closer but felt a force rushing out of the transparent vortex that had appeared out of thin air.
There was a painful sensation of my body being pulled in. Before I could use any divine power, I was dragged into the scroll by the vortex abruptly.
(Flashback)
Opening my eyes again, I found myself at the doors of the temples.
The majestic palace was deserted, and the voice of someone talking came from the hall. I turned my head towards the sound and saw Kiro above the hall.
Am I….in the picture scroll?
Kiro: I discovered a secret in the book, and I have come to ask you to verify it.
Kiro’s sudden voice interrupted my thoughts. He lowered his head and stood before the Lord God in the lowest possible position.
Kiro: Legend has it that every night the Night God will be cursed by the night, and the Night God will destroy all the living beings and things around him.
Kiro: Many night gods were unable to endure the desolation around them all day long, and eventually came to their own destruction.
Kiro: May I ask the Lord God, is this true?
Lord God: This is the fate of the night god.
Lord God: I let the sun gods accompany the night gods each time, just to try and heal them with the sun god’s divine power, but the effect is minimal.
Kiro took a deep breath, his hands trembled slightly.
Kiro: Please, Lord God….exchange the positions of me and MC.
Lord God: I have already issued a draft order yesterday. Are you sure you want to change it?
Kiro lowered his eyes, wondering what he was thinking. After a while, he raised his head firmly.
Kiro: Then please let me be the god of the sun and the moon.
Kiro: I promise you that no matter what happens, I will not destroy myself.
The Lord God’s expression became a little hesitant thinking over Kiro’s proposal.
Lord God: Are you sure that you will live forever as the god of night and never self-destruct?
Kiro: I am sure.
The Lord God was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again, his slow and flat tone seemed to be putting a curse on the gods.
Lord God: From now on, you are the sun god Kiro, witnessing the rebirth of all things.
Lord God: You are also the night god Helios, all darkness and death surround you.
Lord God: You will bear the curse of darkness on her behalf, struggling between light and darkness forever, and you must not give up.
There was a tingling pain in my heart and I took a couple of steps back….it turned out that everything he did was for me.
Time and space changed again, and I arrived at the drunken night of the graduation ceremony.
(Flashback)
I watched myself leaning against Kiro’s arm, staring up at him.
MC: I’m so glad!
MC: When I become the God of Night, I will give you the brightest star!
MC: Also….we will be like sun gods and the night gods before!
Accompanied for life, forever bound together.
—This is the reason why I dare not look at the scroll for too long. After I finished speaking, I fell into a deep sleep.
And the secret I wanted to know most before was Kiro’s response after I confessed.
I didn’t dare open the scroll, I was afraid of hearing his rejection with my own ears.
Unconsciously holding my breath, I saw his eyes so full of tenderness, as if looking upon the most precious treasure in the world. After a long time, he lowered his head slightly.
The moment our lips touched, a cold liquid dripped on my cheeks.
Kiro: We will.
Kiro: I also want to be with you forever and ever, together.
My nose scrunched up, and I stepped forward subconsciously, but the dazzling light came in an instant.
(Flashback ends)
The palm of my hand was held by a cold one, and when I opened my eyes, I returned to the galaxy.
I looked down at the hand that was holding mine. The broad hand was soft yet powerful as if it would protect me from all dangers.
Looking up from my arm, I look up at the person coming--
Helios sat next to me, looking at me worriedly. Because of his approach, the shoots that had just emerged from the moist soil immediately lost their lustre of life.
The stars in the pond of the galaxy were extremely dim, and the faint starlight reflected on Helios’ profile, making his face even more gloomy.
As if sensing my gaze, Helios instantly retracted his hand, got up immediately, and stood far away from me.
Helios: You didn’t look well back at the Sunshine Festival, so I chased after you….
Helios: Are you okay?
MC: I’m fine….
But what about you?
I took a few steps towards him, trying to clearly see the emotions in his eyes, but the warmth of them blurred everything in front of me.
How can Kiro, who has always treated people kindly, face all the barrenness and devastation that he causes after each night?
I don’t know anything about it, I just avoid him and don’t allow him to explain.
Feelings of regret and guilt hit my heart, and I opened my mouth, but I didn’t know what to say.
His eyes avoided mine as if he didn’t want me to see him like this.
Helios: If you are okay, I will leave first.
I hurriedly took his hand, anxiously trying to keep him from leaving.
MC: Didn’t we want to share this day?
MC: The day isn’t over yet, and I haven’t shared everything about me with you.
Worried that he would refuse, I took the initiative to drag him to the galaxy. He stood far away, his hands and feet somewhat cemented.
Helios: I’m afraid my power will destroy your stars.
That bitter feeling came up again, I ignored it and took his hand gently, and a star was raised in the galaxy.
MC: No, I am here.
He seemed a little scared, his hands trembling imperceptibly.
I tried my best to force a smile, wrap his palm in mine, infusing a supernatural power.
The stars lit up instantly, shining with golden lights, just like the sunlight rising from us.
Something in his eyes seemed to kindle, and he stared at the stars in his hands unblinkingly, as if he did not dare to use a trace of strength.
Seeing him so cautious, with nerves tingling, I took a deep breath.
MC: I’m very sorry.
MC: I didn’t know anything about this earlier, and I kept doubting you.
Helios: I shouldn’t hide from you, and I never want to hide from you.
Helios: It’s just that….I didn’t know what to say.
Helios: I don’t want to make you feel guilty.
MC: I won’t be like that again in the future.
MC: But please let me stay by your side every night like I am now, and accompany you through the most difficult moments of the day.
Helios froze for a moment, his cold eyes trembled lightly as if an unconcealable emotion was about to come out.
Helios: Don’t you think…. I am a very bad night god?
MC: No, your intention was never that way.
MC: You will look at each life tenderly, respecting the meaning of their existence.
MC: You took my place and endured all the darkness for me, willing to fall between light and darkness every day.
MC: You are the most competent, gentle, and best god I have ever seen.
I slowly put my forehead against his and watched his eyes gradually shine brightly.
MC: So, if it’s not too late for you, I want to honour my promise that night to you.
I pressed my hand to the back of his hand holding the star.
MC: I want to give this brightest star to you.
MC: This is the first thing I wanted to do after becoming a star god.
A warm smile overflowed from the corner of his lips, and the star in his palm was close to his heart.
Helios: I will accept it wholeheartedly. *Changed some wording*
MC: I still have a lot of things I want to do with you and a lot of things I want to say to you, is that okay?
He looked at me deeply for a while, and the starlight flickered in his blue eyes.
Helios: Of course.
MC: So….if I say I also want to share our lives together….is that okay?
Helios: This is obviously the question I should be asking you.
Helios: I want….to share my life with you.
He looked at me, his eyes no longer avoiding mine, but he was a little quiet which made me feel distressed and sad.
MC: It would be my pleasure.
The flickering starlight was gentle and bright, softly illuminating the smile in his eyes.
Helios: Let’s start now.
Helios: This week, how did you spend every day, what happened. I want to hear you tell me in person.
Helios: Before the stars fall asleep, we have time.
End
(You can read the call that comes after the date here!)
#mlqc spoilers#mlqc#mr love queens choice#mr love dream date#mr love#mr love game#mlqc kiro#mr love kiro#mldd kiro#周棋洛#date translation#THIS DATE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!#I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT!!!
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Okay, so you said I could send an ask for headcanons about the childhoods of some specific merc(s)... I think I would really like to read your headcanons about Soldier’s and Engineer’s childhood :)
Thanks in advance and I hope your well.
Ooooh…I’ve been waiting for this! And thank you for being specific and not just saying “the rest of them.” Sometimes I get overwhelmed with nine specific mercs to write for. Your specifics are much appreciated.
****************
Soldier:
Soldier doesn’t talk very much about his childhood - whether it’s because something happened or he just doesn’t remember it, no one can tell. It’s nowhere in his file, either…he refused to do anything except tell fantastic tales of a fictional youth.
However, in a rare streak of almost lucidity, he spouted off the entirety of his younger years, much to the team’s surprise. Usually, if anyone asked directly, he changed the subject.
But now he described everything in vivid detail. And, with a bit of research from Miss Pauling, everything fell into place.
Apparently he had been born in a small military town in Georgia. His father was overseas, leaving he and his mother alone in their small yellow house.
In order to make ends meet, his mother worked at a nearby factory, mostly leaving Soldier to fend for himself and the house.
“Can you be a big, strong soldier like daddy for me?”
Soldier would always agree, finding his own food, his own entertainment, and his own friends. No matter what happened, he never bothered his mom. If anything, his job was to protect her.
That’s why, when his stomach started hurting and his arms and legs ached, he said nothing about it.
When he forgot the chores he was supposed to do and even the names of his friends, he didn’t bring it up.
When he felt tired all the time and some days could barely get out of bed, he just chalked it up to laziness like his mother did.
It turns out the factory they were next to was polluting the water next to the house with dangerous amounts of lead, which soon overcame Soldier’s immune system of steel.
He could barely remember anything anymore, and he became more and more distraught every day. Sometimes he would forget where he was and run outside, then get lost in the woods, only coming back once he remembered where he was supposed to be.
Soldier began to wear one of his father’s old helmets after his mom commented on his red eyes and the dark circles around them. He didn’t want to worry her. Besides, it helped bring back a few memories if he ever got lost again.
Finally, it got to the point where he didn’t even remember his mother, or his promise to her. He began to wander farther and farther away from home.
One day, he didn’t come back at all.
Out in the world with not a single memory to his name, Soldier wandered far and wide. He usually slept in barns and old, abandoned houses, cut off from most people.
Occasionally, he would find a family that wanted to “raise him as their own,” only to turn him away after finding him too difficult to care for.
He had frequent nightmares, ate little due to his unresolved stomach issues, and could barely walk ten feet without forgetting where he was going.
If he accidentally wandered into the same house twice, he would be chased out with either a broom or a gun - usually the latter.
He became “the demon child” in some counties, and “g*psy kid” in others, due to his long, unkempt hair, hidden eyes, and odd habits.
It even got to the point where Soldier couldn’t sleep on anyone’s property because he would be actively fought off like a wolf or a bear.
His only pleasure was an old movie theater that, as he recovered from his lead poisoning, remembered the location of and frequently snuck into.
The only thing that played were romance movies - which, like many children, Soldier hated - and war movies, which he watched over and over again with starving eyes.
Because of these movies, a single memory from his mother’s house came to him. A woman, tall and muscular from hard labor, giving him a shiny badge to hold, asking him to be a strong soldier like his father.
And thus began his life-long dream of becoming a military officer.
He trained according to what he knew from the films…which was mostly running, doing jumping jacks, and occasionally rolling around in the mud.
This only served to distance him further from his fellow human beings, but he didn’t care. Soldier had a mission, and he was going to do it well.
But the biggest change was his hair.
He had started cutting it off with sharpened rocks, but he was always saving up coins he found for a “proper army cut.”
Finally, he had quite the collection in a dirty mason jar, and marched into the barber shop in his town to ask for a haircut.
The manager was appalled, and at first refused, but Soldier stood his ground.
“Civilian, I’ll have you know that by denying a soldier with a haircut, you are denying America one of its best fighters! I can’t curdle the enemy’s blood looking like a hippie!”
After a short yelling match that, of course, Soldier won, the manager decided it would be in his best interest to comply.
He walked out of that shop with no hair on his head, but a huge grin on his face. Next stop, the ranks.
Soldier went from draft office to draft office, applying for and being denied entrance to the army for his obvious lack of mental stability.
This is when the personal retelling ended, since Soldier became very upset by the memory of his recruitment failures, but Miss Pauling concluded that he just bounced from state to state until Mann Co. found him, quote, “sitting in an alleyway, eating army draft paperwork while sobbing uncontrollably.”
Engineer:
Engineer also never really talks about his childhood, but both Medic and Spy (Spy knows everything about everyone on the team) know that’s for a good reason.
He grew up in a trailer community near an almost ghost town in Texas.
His father was an abusive car mechanic with a mean streak a mile wide and a shop full of failed inventions. His mother wasn’t any better - she was bitter and reclusive, only really coming out of her room to pick a fight with her husband.
However, what Engie lacked in family, he more than made up for in friends.
He had a rag-tag, Rugrats-esque team of pals from all walks of life: Rhapsody, the daughter of a struggling porn star; Tom, the son of two farmers wiped out by blight; Cici, an adopted girl that could barely walk into her trailer without a black eye and a string of slurs; Quinn, the nervous child of a single mother that serves as guidance to the other kids; And Fred, who didn’t seem to have any family, but had become a greaser big brother to all of them.
Together, they explored the desert near the trailer park, pooled their resources to feed and support each other, and used their individual strengths to get through each day.
Engineer, whom everyone affectionately called “Big Dell,” snuck parts from his dad’s workshop for his own creations.
By the time he was twelve, he could make a small, running engine for the soapbox cars his friends frequently raced.
No toy, piece of clothing, glasses, or tool was out of his line of expertise.
One day, though, upon finding that some of his parts were missing, Engineer’s dad gave him a terrible beating that broke a few of his fingers and left a huge gash near his eye.
Since then, he refused to fix, make, or even touch a tool.
He wouldn’t tell anyone what happened, but they could make a pretty good guess, since they knew where the scraps and parts had come from.
The whole group was furious with Engineer’s dad - their Big Dell was funny, smart, and was more loving than every family member they had combined. Even Quinn was red in the face.
They wanted to break into his dad’s workshop and destroy all of his inventions, just to teach him a lesson, but they knew Engineer would take the fall for it.
Instead, they rummaged through trash cans, searched their toy chests, and looked under their trailers to find things Engineer could use.
They waited until his birthday to unveil the massive pile of supplies they had stowed away.
Engineer immediately dropped to his knees and began to cry, and everyone else dogpiled him for a huge hug.
As the creme de la creme, they gave him a pair of welding goggles - the same welding goggles he wears to this day, having modified them so they still fit his growing body.
With his healed fingers and renewed spirit, he made each of them a gift: a toy car for Rhapsody, a skull ring for Fred, a full set of candle wax crayons for Cici, a chewable necklace for Quinn so they wouldn’t chew on their collar, and a mini-planter for Tom.
But Engineer was given the greatest gift - confidence in his own abilities and that he can be and was appreciated for more than his services.
This gave him the drive to build bigger and better things, which his friends happily assisted in creating.
Engie’s best memories are with that motley crew of scrawny, beaten-up kids.
But, as he became a teenager, the abuse grew worse by the day.
He was often kept in his dad’s garage to fix cars in sweltering heat and with nothing to show for his work except threats of what would happen if a customer complained.
His mother finally grew bitter enough to pick on him, wondering aloud and pointedly if she had made a mistake by having him, then immediately contradict herself by wailing in his arms about how she’s the most awful mother in the world, and how she would be gone soon, and then nobody would have to deal with her anymore.
Engie grew more and more distant from his friends as they either moved out, ran away, or, in Rhapsody’s case, died.
He thought of just shutting the garage door and turning on a car a couple times, but he would always return to his memories of the hidden cave of goodies his friends had collected or the many inventions they had helped him build.
It just wasn’t worth it.
On a night when his depression and self-doubt was especially bad, he decided to build a personal invention for the first time in years - a small, robotic chicken made out of bent gears and empty oil cans.
He worked on it for a few weeks, but made the mistake of leaving it on a work table once it was finished.
Engie came to work the next morning with his dad ready to chew him out. But, before any finger could be lifted against his son, he was interrupted by a sweet older couple that was having their tires replaced.
“Now, Ethan, ain’t that just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life?”
“Hm?”
“That there chicken statue over there! It looks like it could very well get up and start peckin’ for worms, don’tcha think?”
Engie looked at the couple, then at his dad, then at his chicken. He slowly lifted it from the table and turned the key.
It started to slowly lean forward, then took a few steps on it’s long, spring-loaded legs. The neck went down, and the chicken’s rusty beak began to scrape at the pavement.
Now he had the husband’s attention.
“Didja build that yourself, son, or did your daddy help ya?”
Engineer looked at his dad for a split second before answering.
“My own sweat ‘n blood, sir. My daddy says I should stop wastin’ time on ugly thing-a-ma-jigs an’ put my hands to somethin’ worth doin’.”
The man smiled. “Well, this ‘ugly thing-a-ma-jig’ shows real skill. We could use somebody like you, once we train you up a bit.”
“Now hold on a damn - !” his father interjected, but was silenced with a cold stare.
“We’ll put ya through a state-of-the-art school, then put ya straight inta the work force. You can build whatever you like…and you’ll have a lot better materials than rusty tin. Whaddaya say, son?”
Engineer just nodded, and the man grabbed his hand and shook it.
“We’ll keep in touch.”
Engineer left that trailer park at age seventeen, leaving his fuming father and drunken mother behind.
He only stopped to visit Rhapsody’s grave before embarking on his new life.
There is still a stone plate with a message carved into it next to the headstone. If you brush off the leaves and dig out the moss, you can see Engie’s parting words:
“A friendship with you and the rest of the gang is the greatest thing I ever built. -Big Dell”
#tf2#tf2 fandom#tf2 ask blog#tf2 headcanon#tf2 headcanons#tf2 engineer#engineer tf2#tf2 solly#send asks#ask blog#headcanon requests#lovely anon#thanks anon#thanks for the ask
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A schism of magic
Chapte 1
Marinette finds a golden watch. Opening it changed a lot in her life.
***
She remembers being eight and looking at the Untempered Schism. She was prepared to see everything but not magic and gods the size of her hand. The image left a lingering need to run in her bones but she was very good at resisting the urge.
***
Marinette was tired. Exhausted. Worn out. Bone-tired.
Why? Well, studying, working on commissions, and saving Paris from Hawkmoth at the same time wasn't easy. Her schedule was packed so tightly, she hadn't slept more than four hours for almost three months.
Maybe, I should close commissions. This will give me more free time. I can also work more on finding Hawkmoth. And focus on my education,' Marinette thought. She looked around her room. Everything was calm. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Kwamis were similar to kids in one aspect: if they're quiet, they're making a mess somewhere. Marinette sighed and rubbed her forehead. She really was too tired to clean up anything.
Marinette sighed again and got up. Apparently, being awake for 64 hours straight wasn't good for her health because Marinette felt her head spin and everything went dark for a moment. "I need to take a nap," she muttered to herself while swaying softly. "Maybe consuming so much caffeine isn't good for me".
Finding kwamis turned out to be relatively easy. They were all sitting on her bed, next to a golden fob watch with engraved circular designs. It was a beautiful watch, Marinette had to admit.
"Where did you find it? I don't remember having anything similar," Marinette frowned. "Did you steal it?"
Judging by kwamis' guilty looks they did steal it. The next questions were how, when, why, and from whom? Marinette sighed inwardly. It wasn't going to be easy.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Marinette asked after several minutes of silence. Wayzz flew forward as the most responsible one.
"We wanted to explore a little bit," they've started, "and we accidentally flew into your parents room. Immediately after I realized where we were I made them leave. But in my hurry I didn't notice that Fluff did not go with us. And I think Fluff can tell more now."
The kwami of evolution had the decency to look guilty under Wayzz's glare. Fluff flew closer to her, trying to appear innocent. "I'm not sorry, Guardian. I had to do this for the stability of timelines. You will understand it later. This watch contains your consciousness. It is you, Guardian."
"What do you mean, Fluff?" she asked, a small frown forming between her eyebrows. "How can a fob watch be me?"
"You're a Time Lady. This watch is a part of the mechanism called the Chameleon Arc. From what I know your people use it as a perfect disguise. Chameleon Arc changes your biology and creates false memories. You have to open it," Fluff didn't wait for her answer and just dropped it on her knees.
Fluff's words seemed to be too unlikely to be true. Why would she want to change her species or create false memories? Why didn't Tikki say anything if it were true?
"Are you trying to pull a prank on me, Fluff?" she asked tiredly. She wasn't in the mood for games.
"Just open it, Guardian. I used the Burrow to make sure this is the right time. It's very important for you to open this watch."
It didn't seem real. More like from a tv show with aliens. But she was the Guardian of multiple gods. She knew that aliens existed (hard not to, considering how everybody talks about Superman, Martian Manhunter, Green Lanterns and others). So there was a chance that Fluff was telling the truth. The only way to find out was to open the watch. If she wasn't a Time Lord, nothing would change. And if she was … well, they would deal with it later.
A small click of the opened clasp and a bright golden light blinded her. Several seconds later the room was filled with her pained screams. And then she blacked out.
Tikki wasn't panicking. She wasn't! Nothing Plagg says can be trusted. So don't believe him when he says that Tikki was flying around her Chosen and babbling 100 words per minute.
But what if Marinette didn't wake up? What if she forgot about Tikki and the time they've spent together? What if she didn't want to see them anymore?
"Urgh, it shouldn't have hurt so much. I shouldn't have blacked out," Marinette's voice interrupted Tikki's inner monologue. Kwami immediately flew to her face to assure herself that Marinette was alright.
"How are you feeling? What has gone wrong?" Tikki asked worriedly while flying around Marinette's head.
"I'm okay, Tikki. I just didn't expect it to hurt so much. I didn't completely believe this watch could do anything to me." She breathed out to regulate her heartbeats. "I'm just happy… my parents aren't home. I don't know how to explain this to them."
Fluff flew closer and nuzzled into her cheek. "I'm sorry, Guardian. I didn't think something like that would happen," Fluff said, their eyes shining with regret. "What is your name, Guardian?"
"My name is Morana," she answered slowly, her head still pounding from the pain. Using her full name felt somewhat wrong. Her entire family was dead. Her home planet was most likely destroyed in the War, because the Universe was standing and Rassilon wasn't the type to change plans.
"Why did you use this thing in the first place? Was it because of the Time War?" Fluff asked before every kwami flew to them in an attempt to close their mouths.
Morana stayed silent. She trusted kwamii, she even loved them. But the Time War changed her so much that she couldn't recognise herself. Seeing death every day and being aware that your people sacrificed civilisations to win just one battle wasn't easy for her. And she didn't want to relieve everything she had seen or done.
Kwamis seemed to understand this, giving her time to collect her thoughts. She opened her mouth to start talking, but… she couldn't say anything. Every word felt too weak to describe why she had used the Chameleon Arc and what had led to this.
"It's not so easy," she started again. "I.. A lot of things featured in my decision to use it. I wasn't technically running away from the war. I was ordered to leave. You can call me a backup plan. But I was attacked while leaving. My Time Capsule is still young so she was heavily injured. And because of it I was injured, too.
Then I finally was in this Universe. Heavily bleeding, I decided that regeneration was my best choice. Something went wrong, again, and I looked like a six years old. Using the Chameleon Arc was part of Lord Rassilon's plan so that's what I did."
Kwamis stayed silent. It was clear that Morana didn't want to talk about it and they would respect her wishes. Some wounds should be left alone so they heal properly.
"You should go to sleep. You were running on sheer spite, and becoming a Time Lady again was hard for your body," Wayzz said. He was always the most responsible and caring kwami. Morana smiled at him and silently went to her bed. She had a lot of work cut out for her. She could only hope she wouldn't wake up from a nightmare.
***
Waking up a Time Lord again felt strange. Utterly strange. It must be because she had used the Chameleon Arc immediately after regeneration. Not everything was set and she should have waited a little bit. Well, what's done is done. She couldn't change anything.
What she could do was moan to kwamis about aches in seemingly all her body parts. Her head felt close to exploding from all the pressure. She could feel neurons snapping into place. It would go much easier if she were on Gallifrey. Or at least in the Zero Room. Regenerating anywhere else was awfully painful.
Due to her newly discovered heightened hearing she heard Sabine's steps. The woman most likely wanted to wake up Marinette so she wouldn't be late for school. Morana didn't want to move, less go to a public place before she could actually control her body.
"Marinette, you are going to be late if you don't get up right now," Sabine said from somewhere in the room. Morana was too overwhelmed with the amount of new smells that came with Sabine.
"I'm sorry, Maman. I have a really bad headache. Everything hurts," she said, desperately trying to tall like Marinette would. Her usual speech patterns were too proper for a teenager. However, it was a problem for later. At the very moment Mora just wanted her head to stop pounding. A very tiny part of her wanted that pain to last, this way she would not have to be confronted with silence. No telepathic specie deserved to be completely alone in their heads.
"Do you need something, sweetie?" the woman was clearly concerned, more than her actual mother ever was. Morana felt a small pang in her chest, but brushed it off immediately as an aftereffect of regeneration going wrong. "I'm going to be in the bakery, just call me when you need anything, okay?"
Kwamis flew out immediately after Sabine had left. They looked very concerned for her health, and it warmed her heart a lot. Time Lords were too proper to care for anyone other than themselves. Morana sighed inwardly, because doing so outwardly would be too painful. She was so used to resenting her own people that she forgot that they are dead. Properly dead. No crossing time streams would let her see even her most annoying cousins. And it pained her more than she wanted to admit.
"Can we help somehow, Master?" Wayzz asked softly, adjusting his voise tone so it wouldn't hurt her head. Marinette appreciated the effort. She really did. She did not appreciate being called Master.
"Plese, never call me Master, Wayzz," she said weakly. "I know a Time Lord who call himself that. He's one of the biggest annoyances Gallifrey had ever known. He had also destroyed my lab once so I don't like being reminded of him," she explained, seeing kwamis' wondering gazes. She didn't mention that reminder of the home she had lost hurt her a lot, but judging by Tikki's and Wayzz's reactions, they understood her without any words needed
"What can we do to help you, Morana? You never answered," Tikki said, carefully gouging her reaction. Morana sighed, outwardly this time. She hoped they moved on from the subject.
"Nothing, unless you can get me Gallifrey," she let out a bitter laugh. "Or my Time Capsule. Even just being there would help me greatly. But, alas, I don't know where she is. I can't move to get there anyway."
"I can try to search for it, Guardian," Barkk offered. Morana stayed silent for a moment. It would seem like a great idea if she didn't know that her Time Capsule couldn't be detected if she herself didn't approve. And Morana couldn't possibly do it from her bedroom in Paris. That's what she explained to the dog kwami. It, apparently, insulted the god a lot, because they started loudly explaining how nothing could hinder their search and that they were the best in it before remembering about Morana's headache. It seemed to shut them up pretty fast, but Morana just appreciated the silence.
"Let's tall about this later, when my brain won't try to explode and my body will be more used to… a lot of things, actually," she offered, because she really didn't want to argue with anyone. Especially with kwamis. "I'm going to sleep. Hope it will help me."
***
Sleep didn't help. Painkillers didn't help. Which was obvious, because human medicine could never help a Time Lord. Especially after regeneration.
But Marinette did feel better. Tea, apparently, helped, because after only one cup her head stopped hurting so much and she could do anything without being overwhelmed. Marinette appreciated it, but was too baffled by the realisation. She even regretted that they never had it on Gallifrey. It would help a lot of Time Lords. Especially during the Time War, because everyone was burning through their regeneration like… like Doctor!
"What are we going to do now?" she asked kwamis. Morana knew they considered her too weak to do anything and it irritated her a lot. Time Lords were a superior species, regeneration was their strength, not a weakness.
"You have to understand one thing, Guardian," Wayzz started, always the peacemaker. "We don't think you are weak or anything like that. But I personally believe that you need more rest. And you won't get it while fixing your Time Capsule. It would take a lot of time and effort to get her into proper shape, considering that you had to regenerate from all the damage," Wayzz explained slowly, like one would to a child.
Morana knew his words had logic. If she saw her Time Capsule, she wouldn't rest until everything was fixed. And it would cause major problems in the long run for her health. It could even force her to regenerate and she wasn't keen on changing her bodies like gloves. She still hated it.
"Okay, we will wait," she said after a long moment of silence and kwamis started cheering immediately. "For now we have to think how I am supposed to act." She was met with bland and confused looks. "My speech patterns, my behaviour and even the way I hold myself is drastically different from Marinette. Some things have stayed, like my intellect, curiosity and need to learn more, but a lot of Marinette was influenced by growing up as a human. I was raised completely differently."
"I can take you wherever you want, Guardian," Kaalki courteously offered. "You can change their memories a little bit, take some money and leave. I believe that you know how to hack computers."
Kaalki's offer made a lot of sense and in any other situation Morana would agree immediately. But it wasn't any other situation. "I can't leave because of Hawkmoth," she said quietly.
Mora was also ashamed of the fact that she still hadn't caught the man. It was embarrassing for a Time Lady of her status. At least she had another reason to not leave immediately to find her Time Capsule. She would be too tempted to leave and never return. Time Lords aren't meant to meddle with humans and history in general. "But the Doctor did so," a traitorous voice, the most rebellious part of her, whispered. You envy his freedom but yet you are unable to let go of Time Lords's ideals. You have to choose one day.". And that was a conversation for another day.
The next hour was spent discussing Marinette's behaviour and how Morana could start slowly changing, so her classmates (she had graduated from the Academy years ago and she still had to go to a human school and she hated that) wouldn't notice. It wouldn't be very hard, considering they could only see Lila and her pretty tales.
There was also an issue of Marinette's crush on one Adrien Agreste. It was borderline creepy and hurt Marinette's mental health. Thank Rassilon, her Time Lord consciousness was woken up just in time. In the back of her mind Morana could feel possible outcomes of the situation with Adrien and Lila and she liked none of them
Lila and her lies were another reason for Morana to burn bright red from shame. Marinette losing her composure and completely not being to defend herself was unbecoming for a Time Lady. Her parents and Academy teachers had taught her better than that.
That liar was a completely different issue. On one hand, she would keep attention diverted from Morana. On the other, she wasn't sure the liar wouldn't try to discredit her even further. Morana preferred staying hidden rather than attracting unnecessary attention. And the repeat of her infamous expulsion would do exactly that.
There was also a matter of pride. Her Time Lord part was enraged that a human girl thought herself better than her. Morana wanted to destroy the liar, make her reap what she had sowed. But deep down she knew that destroying a minor would not help her feel better.
"I want to deal with Lila without exposing her myself," she said out loud. Voicing out her thoughts sometimes helped. "I have to make someone else do it, but who?"
"You can subtly help your classmates find the truth," Tikki offered. "You are more eloquent and confident than Marinette. You wouldn't lose your head if someone started doubting you."
"It would work if I didn't change so much. I don't want to attract attention but talking to them will make them notice me. No, it won't work," Marinette shook her head. She stayed silent before a small spark ignited in her eyes. "I can make teachers expose her! I will get rid of Bustier and Damocles. This way not only will the Lila situation be resolved, but it will prevent something similar happening in the future!"
"That's an amazing idea!" Tikki exclaimed. "How do you want to do this?" But Marinette was already deep in work, cursing human technology every now and then.
Not even two hours later Morana got up with a triumphant grin. "We have to wait and see the results for ourselves now," she said.
"What did you do, Guardian?" Wayzz asked, tilting his head slightly.
"Wait and see! It will be much more interesting!" Morana didn't wait to see kwamis's reaction and just bolted out of her room. Buying computer parts was high in her priority because there was no way she would ever work with human technology without adjusting it to her needs. She also wanted to change her bedroom. Pink was a lovely colour but a completely pink bedroom was too much for Morana.
***
Morana skipped two more school days, because of fatigue and random headaches. Every time she shut her eyes from pain she was reminded of Gallifrey and Zero Room. It wouldn't hurt so much if she were there.
On the third day Morana decided it was time to go and assess the situation. She also needed proof of Bustier's unprofessionalism and her enabling bullies. She also wanted to know if anyone saw through Lila's lies. It was highly unlikely but a Time Lady could hope.
Dressing up was a major problem. Morana and Marinette had as different tastes in clothes as it could be. One preferred soft lines and pastel colours, another favoured strict forms and traditional colours. Marinette's style was too casual for Morana, who was used to stuff robes and gigantic headpieces.
"I guess I have to work with what I have for now, and then buy more when I can," Morana thought.
"You look very different from Marinette, Mora," Tikki said after Morana finished getting dressed. "But it suits you. I bet you are used to completely different clothes."
Morana decided to change Marinette's style a little bit, forgoing pigtails and usual clothes. Instead, she chose a white shirt and dress pants. She put her hair up in a bun. It was just the perfect combination of casual and formal. Morana would still do anything to wear robes from Gallifreywhich she didn't even have because her home planet was destroyed.
"I am ready. Who is going to go to school with me today?" It was a tradition at that point for Marinette to take kwamis with her to school and Morana didn't want to change it. It was decided that Trixx and Wayzz would come with her.
Morana already felt a growing headache. Unfortunately, it wasn't because of her less than stellar regeneration, but knowing what kinds of troubles Trixx could trick Wayzz and Tikki into. Hopefully Tikki would reign them in.
"Do you think Chat Noir will be suspicious when he sees me?" she asked, causing Tikki to nervously gulp. Kwami of creation wasn't a good liar. Just like Marinette.
"No! You were always very serious and strict as Marinette! I am sure he wouldn't notice the difference!" Tikki ranted, nervousness obvious in her small movements. Did she get that from Marinette too?
Morana sighed and smiled as softly as she could. "I wasn't sure that Chat was in my class but your poor lying skills just admitted it," Tikki just looked away, embarrassment and shame of exposing Chat's identity were noticeable in her eyes. Morana bit her lip, contemplating whether she should stay silent or cheer up kwami. She didn't think long. "Hey, it's okay, Tikki. It's not your fault that I know that Adrien is Chat. Human and Time Lord brains work differently, so I could imagine how Chat's face looked without the mask. I'm sure magic would help protect his identity if you always knew that I'm a Time Lady."
Tikki wasn't convinced, guilt still lingering in her little body. The previous guardian being so against Ladybug and Chat Noir knowing each other's identity has influenced kwami more than Morana thought previously. Tikki more than Plagg, obviously. "The previous guardian was a coward and not the smartest man," Morana stopped, trying to pick words that wouldn't offend the old man too much. "We don't know what would happen if Ladybug or Chat Noir were akumatized. Knowing who the other is would help us a lot. We could work together as civilians."
"Yes, you are right, Morana," Tikki said, stifling a sob. She nuzzled into Morana's cheek with a content sigh. They stood like that for several long moments. Luckily, there was still time as Morana had got up earlier to not be late.
"We have to go now, Tikki. We don't want to be late." It pained her to refuse Tikki so obviously needed comfort. But Morana couldn't allow herself to be late. Unless
"You know what? We can stay for a little bit longer. I planned everything so I would be the first in the class. We have full ten minutes for ourselves," she said with more confidence than she felt. Changing plans to make someone feel better wasn't something Time Lords would respect. But Tikki was important for her and Morana would be damned if she left her dear friend sad and hurt.
Tikki squealed happily before taking Morana's finger and leading her to the chaise. Over the course of the next several minutes every kwami flew to her. Morana thanked them mentally as being with her friends made Tikki feel much better.
Morana was ashamed to admit that she, a Time Lady with very precise time senses, had lost track of time. Instead of ten minutes they've spent almost twenty cuddling and listening to everyone's stories. And because of her tardiness she was running late. But what was unusual for Morana was normal for Marinette.
"Well, at least nobody will be surprised. Everyone expects Marinette to be late. Never expected that being late will have good sides," she thought while running to school. Fortunately, the building wasn't too far from the bakery and her physique allowed her to run faster and longer.
Morana stopped running just mere meters before her class' doors. She had two choices: enter like a mess aka Marinette's usual way, or go in calmly and confidently. She would attract less attention if she chose the second option, but it can possibly attract more attention later. But it would work if she ran away immediately after dismantling Lila's empire. Yes, that was her best choice.
Morana took a deep breath and entered her class. Everything was just the way she had expected: everyone sitting around Lila and listening to her tales, Alix and Kim were arguing about something. What she hadn't expected were Rose and Juleka. They were sitting away from everyone else, talking in hushed voices. They were also looking at Lila and her court every few seconds, which was even more suspicious. Morana sighed, knowing that she hadn't predicted everything. Again. Great.
***
Everything was too calm. Lila continued entertaining class with her stories but never mentioned anyone famous. Juleka and Rose spent the whole day whispering about something, but they were talking too soft for Morana to hear anything. And, in the name of Rassilon, did that frustrate her
Judging by Bustier's calm demeanor, Morana's plan hasn't reached her yet. The same must have been true for Damocles, because the man was acting as usual. He was also too much of an awful actor to pretend everything is fine enough to fool Morana. No, she just had to be more patient. She had more than enough time for that.
The day turned out to be utterly boring considering Lila didn't try to start a drama, or force Adrien sit with her. Juleka and Rose weren't confronted despite acting suspicious the whole time. Nobody approached "Marinette". The worst part was trying to pretend that she didn't know everything better than teachers. Her eyes twitched every time Mendeleev said something proved wrong years ago. "Patience, humans still have to disprove that and you know it. You can't compare the Academy with even the best human university. Even ones in the 51st century weren't as good,". Being the smartest person in the whole school wasn't easy, as you can see.
"Marinette, we wanted to talk to you," Rose said timidly, Juleka holding her hand. Well, apparently she had been wrong about nobody approaching her. "Can we talk in private, please? I… We have something to tell you. It's very important."
Morana contemplated refusing them. They had believed Lila but something she really wanted why they had been acting so suspiciously the whole day.
"Yes, I don't mind," she said cautiously and immediately saw tension leave Rose's body. It was so easy to read her. "We can go to the bakery. I promise that my parents won't intrude."
Juleka and Rose started nodding frantically, obviously not wanting her to change her mind. It was proving to be very interesting.
Fortunately, the walk to the bakery was short because Rose looked like she would blow up from the need to spill all the information.
Morana led them to her room, stopping briefly to greet her parents. They were so busy they didn't even notice her. Hm, not surprising.
"Well, what did you want to tell me?" she asked when they were finally sitting in her room. Rose bit her lip and started fidgeting with her fingers. She looked at Juleka with a silent plea to start talking.
"We know that Lila is a liar," Juleka said so softly Morana wouldn't hear if not for her enhanced hearing. "Rose mentioned her while talking with Prince Ali and he explained that he had never met anyone named "Lila Rossi" or that his charity work is directed to children, not pollution. He also mentioned that Lila could be sued for using his family name in her own gain.
Rose then immediately ran to our class and told everyone just that. But that liar somehow managed to save herself by saying that she had mistaken Prince Ali for her another celebrity friend. Rose then got so angry she told everyone about a possible lawsuit and that shut up Lie-la pretty quickly. After that she stopped mentioning celebrities and started focusing on herself."
That explained everyone's behaviour pretty nicely. And she didn't even have to think for herself, everything was given on a silver plate. Just use the information however you want to.
"I am so sorry, Marinette! Forgive me for not believing you!" Rose exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes. Morana hugged her, pressing Rose's face into her chest, allowing her to cry and let out all of her emotions. She could be colder than ice sometimes, but she would never let a child cry. Especially one her human self considered a friend.
"It's okay, it's okay. I forgive you," she whispered into Rose's head, while drawing soothing circles on her back. "You know the truth and that's all I wanted."
That wasn't a lie per se but not completely a truth. Marinette only wanted her friends to believe her over Lila, but Morana wanted them all to pay for their foolishness. Fortunately, her maturity and those parts of her that still were Marinette won out and it was pretty easy to forgive Juleka and Rose.
"You are so nice, Marinette! I don't deserve your kindness!" Rose sobbed into her shoulder. "I was worried when you didn't come to school and wanted to visit you but Lila said that you wouldn't want to see me. And I listened to her! And I left you! Instead of me begging your forgiveness you are comforting me! I'm so so so sorry!"
Morana knew that Rose was a soft and nice person. She even expected her to be the first who apologized to her. She did not expect her to be so upset about it. She took a deep breath and took Rose's face in her hands. Tears were running down her red cheeks and she let out an ugly sob with every breath.
"It really is okay, Rose. I understand you and why you wouldn't believe me. I have not the best track record when it concerns Adrien," she said with a self-ironic smile, hoping it would make her feel better. And Rose did have a small smile. "I actually am happy that you have found the truth by yourself and went immediately to tell everyone. It shows how much you care about them."
"But… but you did the same!" Rose protested. "You knew that she was a liar and immediately decided to tell everyone! You knew how harmful her false promises were and acted to protect everyone! But they just thought you were jealous and it's so unfair!"
Morana smiled softly and wiped away remnants of Rose's tears. "You were very brave, Rose. You had seen them not believing me and still acted to protect them. Some part of you knew they wouldn't believe but you trusted them enough to ignore that voice. It's not your fault Lila knows how to change your words to fit her narrative."
"I'm also very sorry, Marinette. Luka likes you and I doubt he would if you actually stole necklaces and pushed people down the stairs," Juleka chuckled before realisation dawned on her. It looked like a lightbulb in her head was turned on. "If you actually pushed Lila down the stairs, she would be seriously injured. And she would require medical attention anyway."
Juleka continued listing Lila's most obvious lies but Morana didn't listen. She just grinned. Apparently, some of her classmates did have more than one brain cell. And it was the most fascinating thing seeing one of them use it properly. Was it why the Doctor spent so much time with humans? Was it the reason he took them to see the Universe? To see them grow and change? To make them see the world in a different light? If so, then Morana could finally understand why the Doctor had so many human companions. Maybe, after getting her Time Capsule back she would invite someone to go with her. It would be fun.
"... Marinette? Marinette? Are you listening?" Juleka's worried voice drew her out of her thoughts.
"I'm sorry. Could you repeat the last bit again?" she asked, trying to look as sheepish as possible. Juleka and Rose exchanged a look that could be translated to "Marinette being Marinette and getting lost in thoughts as usual". Morana tried her hardest to not be offended, considering they weren't wrong but she did huff causing both girls to start laughing. At least Rose wasn't crying anymore.
"I asked what we could do to expose Lila. We could ask Jagged Stone to come. Or Clara. Or call Prince Ali," Juleka said after she stopped laughing.
"I don't think it's a good idea," she started. "Media would twist everything to fit their narrative. Why would a famous rockstar or a pop singer or an actual prince come to disprove lies of a teenager? A lot of people lie about knowing celebrities but nobody pays attention to them. Media would ask "what's so special about that girl?" and I'm sure Lila would use it to her own benefit," she said with a small sigh. They were Marinette's thoughts, her trying to not call Jagged to solve the Lila problem.
"You are right," Juleka said after thinking for a minute. "But how do we expose her?"
"It's simple. We won't," Morana simply stated. Juleka and Rose shared a confused look before looking at her expecting an explanation. "New teachers will. I want Damocles and Bustier fired. I believe new teachers won't be so lenient in their responsibilities and would look into Lila's medical history. They would also contact Lila's mother every time skips school or doesn't hand in her assignments."
"That's smart," Juleka admitted. She then frowned. "We are putting a lot of faith on those possible new teachers. How can we know they won't be the same as Damocles and Bustier?"
Morana slowly blinked. She hadn't considered that before. Now, she had no choice but to ensure new teachers would be chosen correctly. More work for her. Great
"Don't worry about it. It will be my problem anyway," she said with a small shrug. The girls didn't look convinced but they didn't argue further and Morana appreciated it. They didn't stay longer, there was homework and band practice for them so they couldn't lose more time. Another thing Morana appreciated because she wasn't sure how to make them leave. She needed some time alone. There was a lot of planning to do.
#ml x doctor who#mlb#angst#mari and tikki bond#bustier salt#damocles salt#lila is smarter than in cannon#marinette dupain cheng#mlb tikki#mlb wayzz#mlb fluff#rose lavillant#juleka couffaine
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The Fairy Princess and The Hanyou Prince
First things firsts, this story is my first muti-chapter fic, but as always, an inukag story. I’m still really knew at writing, so bear with me, haha. Inspired by so many people in the fandom, let me know what you think! I’m still writing this story, but I’ll be updating it pretty quickly.
@keichanz @neutronstarchild
Chapter 1
Once upon a time, in a far away land, there resided four kingdoms, whom all lived in harmony with each other. The northern kingdom, King Toga, an incredibly powerful dog demon, and Queen Izayoi, an equally incredibly beautiful human, ruled with grace and fairness, along with their hanyou prince, Prince Inuyasha. The west, King Sesshomaru, King Toga’s first born, and his queen, Kagura, a powerful wind demon, ruled at a distance, but peaceful. To the south, King Koga an arrogant wolf demon, and Queen Ayame, a sassy, but strong wolf demon, ruled with laughter, promises and joy. The final kingdom, to the east, ruled King Suikotsu, a kind, strong fairy, and Queen Kikyo, a fairy as well, ruled with grace, beauty and love for all things, for they themselves were beings of the earth. In these kingdoms lived a variety of people, demons, humans, hanyous, even mythical creatures, such as gnomes, elves, fairies, unicorns, mermaids, even ghouls and trolls. Everyone lived in harmony and tranquility for hundred of years.
One spring evening, the kingdoms united together to celebrate the birth of the new princess, Princess Kagome. A huge celebration was in order, with treats, gifts, music and dancing and everyone throughout the land traveled to the eastern lands to rejoice in the new birth. They knew with happiness in their hearts, the peace would continue throughout the lands with the birth of this new child.
“Mama, there’s a baby.” Inuyasha pointed, looking up at his mother.
“Yes dear, that’s the new princess.” A woman with long, silky black hair told him.
“Why does she have wings?” He asked, tilting his head, his ears perking up straight, like the cute puppy he was.
Laughing softly, Queen Izayoi picked him up and spoke softly to him. “She is a fairy, baby. Fairies are wonderful, extravagant, beautiful creatures, who spread love, joy and happiness wherever they go. Fairies have wings when they are born and grown into them as they become big and strong, like a certain hanyou I know.” She spoke, nuzzling his cheek.
“Mamaaaaaa, stop.” Inuyasha laughed, pushing gently on her chest, trying to get away from the kisses. He wanted to go take closer look at the new princess. “Can I go say hi, please?”
“Let’s go together.” A baritone voice came from behind.
“Okay papa!” Izayoi let her son down to his feet and gracefully turned to her handsome husband, smiling softly, and took his outstretched arm. Together, the three of them approached the dais, where the new parents sat.
“King Toga, Queen Izayoi, we are overjoyed you could make it. My my, Prince Inuyasha, you have grown since we’ve last seen you.” King Suikotsu exclaimed, laughing loudly, standing to welcome the northern royalty.
“I’m two now!” Inuyasha said excitedly, holding up two small clawed fingers, jumping from foot to foot, in anticipation of the new princess.
“Well, you are growing strong everyday kind sir, did you want to say hi to the new princess?” He gestured to his left.
Suddenly shy, he nodded and turned to face his parents, unsure of what to do. Softly pushing him forward, Toga smiled softly for his pup. Inuyasha took a deep breath, stepping up towards the queen, whose large, blue wings glittered like the ocean in the sunshine. The queen knelt down, holding a soft bundle to her chest and smiled warmly, beckoning him forward with her manicured fingers. Inuyasha took another small step forward and looked down.
What he saw made him gasp in awe. There in her arms, was a smiling little baby girl with the bluest of eyes he had ever seen, gazing at him. They seem to match her mother’s wings in color and shimmered so brightly. Taking a sniff, he smiled softly. She smelled like wildflowers in a meadow and sunshine. Her small wings, gold and silver twirling throughout, shifted to open upon seeing him. The little girl laughed, reaching her small hands out, as if she were trying to reach his ears. Blushing a little, Inuyasha reached his hand out and Kagome grabbed onto his fingers and laughed a little more, her laugh like a tinkering of bells in the wintertime. “She smells pretty.” He whispered to himself, unaware of his father’s hearing, who just smiled upon hearing this.
“Her name is Kagome.” The fairy queen in red spoke to the young prince.
“Hi, Kagome, I’m Inuyasha.” Kagome squealed at his words and smiled at him once more, before yawning, bringing her fists towards her mouth. Laughing quietly, Queen Kikyo stood again, “She’s getting sleepy. Dear, let me put her down for a little bit, while you get the celebration going. The Southern Kingdom can’t be quite loud during celebrations.”
Agreeing with a chuckle, Suikotsu kissed his wife’s forehead and steered towards the door. Suikotsu then turned and announced the feast was about to begin, while Inuyasha skipped towards his parents with a grin on his face. As Kikyo walked Kagome to other room to lay her down, Inuyasha gripped on his mother’s pale blue skirt and couldn’t help but watch her leave and smile excitedly, knowing he had a new friend.
The kingdoms rejoiced for days for the new brith and all was well in the kingdom for a few months. Four fortnights had passed since the celebration and Kagome was beginning to grow into the beautiful child, with the most loving parents. Little did they know, an evil hanyou with a wicked plan would destroy everything. One warm summer evening, as Queen Kikyo put the child down to sleep in her bassinet, she heard some cries come from the meadow outside the castle. Rushing into the room, King Suikotsu shut the door quickly, turning towards his family with fear in his deep blue eyes.
“Naraku is here.”
“No!” Kikyo gasped. She knew he would come, had heard of the man who hunted creatures, but not this soon, not with Kagome so young. “What do we do?!” She cried, tears beginning to form along her lids.
“Pack a bag, we’ve got to run, the other kingdoms know what is happening. I sent a carrier to each kingdom a day ago to let them know Naraku was coming. I’ve told everyone to help evacuate the castle, get to the villages safely, try and travel to any of our neighboring kingdoms for safety. They will welcome them with open arms.” He explained, his voice wavering, reaching for a bag near the door.
Before Kikyo could reply, there was pounding and slamming against the large wooden door, followed by loud screaming. Kikyo picked up Kagome, who still sound asleep, curled into her mother’s arms. Knowing exactly what to do, she ran to her jewelry chest, a small black opaque box, and picked up three necklaces. Each with the symbol of the fairy kingdom. She infused her power to the first one and lifted it over her head, changing her appearance, removing her wings completely. She said a soft chant, the second pendant, a blue similar to the sky, began to glow and she wrapped it around her bundled up child. Kagome’s wings disappeared instantly, her aura changing to that of a human. Infusing the last, Kikyo turned towards her husband, just as the door burst open.
Naraku strolled through the doorway, sword in hand, with blood coating his chestnut coat, and before Suikotsu could take a step forward to defend his family, Naraku plunged the steel blade into his chest with a sinister grin on his face. Crimson eyes watched as the fairy king fell to the floor with shattered breaths, blood pooling around his wings and turned towards the queen with the small child in her arms blood coating the weapon. Dropping the third necklace quickly, Kikyo covered her daughter with both hands, closed her eyes and softly chanted a spell. Naraku took a step forward, raised his sword and slashed, catching Kikyo’s shoulder, slicing a wing in the process, just as she disappeared into twinkling dust. Enraged, Naraku, knelt down and grabbed at Suikotsu’s chin, snarling, “Where did she take her?”
“You’ll never find her.”
“You’ll die before seeing either of them again and your kingdom will be mine.”
“Go to hell.” Suikotsu sputtered, blood begin to spill from his mouth. Chuckling softly, Naraku used his sword to slice the king’s neck. The sword began to glow brightly, absorbing the fairy king’s power. Standing and calling to his men, he instructed them to dispose of the body. However, before his henchman took a step, the king’s body disappeared into gold dust, leaving only the large pool of deep red blood on the floor. Snarling softly, Naraku sheathed his sword turning to head out of the room. Catching his attention, he noticed the remaining necklace, glowing softly with Kikyo’s concealment charm, Naraku smiled and picked up, clutching it in his hands, knowing he would one day find the princess and make her his.
Kikyo stumbled through the trees, gasping for breath, blood covering her right arm. She tried to stop and use the leaves from the trees to stop her bleeding, to heal her, but she was fading fast. Taking another step forward, she looked up to the full moon and prayed for help, for her and her child. Breathing deeply, she pushed through the underbrush, trying to go north to King Toga’s kingdom, knowing he could protect her child. Tears streaming down her face, whether from the pain or the situation or her daughter’s future, she wasn’t quite sure, Kikyo sobbed, holing the still sleeping Kagome to her breast. Stop to catch her breath, Kikyo looked down to Kagome, looking like a normal human, no sparkle to her skin in the moonlight and kissed her on the forehead. “My little girl, one day you will be strongest and most beautiful fairy. You will be the answer. I love you.” Sighing and squaring her shoulders, Kikyo used the last of her energy to walk into a small meadow, near a stream, where she spotted a cottage along the water. Pushing herself even more, she stepped towards the doorway, when the reed mat swung open to reveal a woman around her age, wearing an eye patch, with a startled look across her features.
“Child, are you alright?” The women asked, taking a step towards the wounded mother.
“Please, help me. Take my child.”
“Child?” It was then, the woman in red hakama and a white kosode, looked down towards the bundle in her arms, noticing the blood dripping along the ground beside the queen. “Come inside. Let me help you.” She urgently requested.
“Please protect her. She is special, she will save our kingdom. This necklace will keep her hidden from harm. Her name is Kagome.” With that, Kikyo sank to her knees, Kaede catching her, to keep her from dropping Kagome and falling in the dirt herself. As Kaede took the sleeping child, she locked eyes with the queen, unbeknownst to her, that the queen was dying. As Kaede began to reach out towards Kikyo to help her stand, KIkyo gasped, holding her right shoulder, and fell, disappearing into twinkling dust as she passed.
Not knowing exactly what just happened, Kaede looked down to the sleeping babe, who had began to fuss, knowing she would protect this child at all costs and sensing a great power beneath the concealment charm. Standing and turning towards her little, but warm cottage, she looked up at the full moon and prayed for all the help in the world with this child.
Not too far away, in the northern kingdom, King Toga held his wife a little closer at his side, watching the eastern kingdom fall, with the rise of an evil ruler, knowing the time of peace had ended.
20 years have passed since that eventful night, but Kaede kept her promise to Kikyo in keeping the princess safe. Naraku began to become even more powerful, catching any creature he could, and absorbing their power with his sword. He became unforgiving, creating a ruthless reputation for beheading his servants. The southern wolf kingdom locked down their borders, not allowing anyone in or out without protection. Sesshomaru merely didn’t change anything, as if he didn’t care. Toga welcomed anyone who needed help with open arms, aiding his villages in support and creating a strong army in defense. Demons, mythical creatures, and humans feared Naraku, many fleeing the eastern kingdom and seeking protection among each of the kingdoms. Families were separated, lost to each other and the King and Queen of the eastern kingdom lost to its people. Many mythical creatures almost became extinct, many of the remaining hiding from the evil.
However, in a small cottage, at the border of the northern and eastern kingdoms, Kagome grew into a lovely young woman, with her powers growing exponentially everyday. She loved gardening, growing different kinds of flowers, herbs and vegetables. She loved the feeling of the soil in her fingers, learning new remedies and recipes from her mother, Mother Kaede as well as her neighbor, a friendly half-demon, Jineji helped her with her garden and always accompanied her on her walks to the neighboring villages. Her hair, a long, almost black, ran to her waist, curling slightly at the bottom and her eyes the bluest of blues, like the ocean. Her small waist almost always had a basket of flowers perched against it, and her smile never seem to left her face. The nearby villages praised her kindness and beauty, while fearing her temper on some occasions.
A bright spring morning, Kaede and Kagome were beginning their day with breakfast. “Child, I think today would be a good day to gather some flowers, while taking these herbs and remedies to the fox family down the road. Shippo’s mother just gave birth and needs a few things.”
“Okay Mother Kaede! I would love to see Shippo too, he loves my snack cakes that I make, almost as much as you do. There are a few left, may I take them with me?” Kagome asked brightly, giggling softly.
“Of course my dear. Please be careful, if you should need help, call for Jineji if you are near his home. DO you have your dagger?”
“Always! I can’t wait to see all the flowers in the fields, I wonder if the tulips have sprung yet….” Kagome began to talk to herself, as she packed her knapsack.
Laughing quietly, knowing just how much Kagome loved the wildflower field on a warm day, Kaede helped her with her cream cloak, buttoning it along her right shoulder. “Do you have your pendant? As well my child?”
“Yes Mother!” Kagome huffed, grabbing her basket with the herbs and began to step through the door. Breathing deeply, she smiled, knowing today would be a wonderful day.
Following the green path, she spent a good hour walking towards the fox hut Letting go of the pendant she was fingering around her neck, she stopped to hear voices inside, along with a laughing squeal. Jumping out front doorway, Shippo waved at Kagome and hurried towards her, with the biggest shit eating grin on his face “Kagome! Kagome! Can we go play in the wild flower fields today?”
Smiling even brighter than she was, eyes glimmering in the sunshine, Kagome laughed along.”Of course! I brought these for your mother from Mother Kaede. It’s for your brother and sisters too.” Sniffling at the package, Shippo jumped onto her shoulder as they headed inside the hut. “Now, what did you do? I know that smile.” Kagome asked, ticking Shippo’s rounding belly.
Not too far away, Prince Inuyasha, followed by his closest friends, began their hunt. It was near the end of the deer season and he wanted to catch one more for the dinner table tonight. He wanted to show his father how good he was at catching game and as they travel toward the thick forest, Inuyasha began to daydream as he rode his horse. Something about gold and silver wings and the smell of wildflowers. Hearing a slap against skin, he sighed, shaking his thoughts from his head, and turned, looking at his friends. “Serves you right Monk, you should know by now Sango will hit you every time.” He snickered at the couple.
“It’s the hand! I swear this thing is cursed.” Miroku responded, his left cheek sporting a bright pink hand print, raising his own hands in the air.
“No, you’re just a pervert!” The brunette beside him cried loudly, pulling the reins, slowing them to stop.
“Okay you two, hush, while we hunt for game. I smelt a steed not too far from here. Sango, close are we to the border?” Inuyasha turned toward the demon slayer, his companion being in charge of the maps.
“Not too far. There is a village a little ways that way, the one where the hanyou horse resides, who helps with herbs in this area. After that, you’ve reached the border.” Sango pointed, stating.
Nodding his head, Inuyasha began the dismount from his horse, grabbing his crossbow and arrows, his sword bouncing along his leather clad thigh. Stopping suddenly, his ear twitched and turned toward the wildflower meadow he knew was near here. He could hear soft giggling and a small child talking. Miroku and Sango climbed down from their horse, squabbling at each other again. Taking a step towards the sounds, he left his friends behind at the horses and followed the sounds. When he approached the edge of the meadow, he stopped in his tracks.
#inukag#inuyahsa#kagome#eventual smut#au#fairytale#aufairytale#mirsan#kogayame#sesskagu#inuyasha x kagome#inuyasha#firststory#inukag fluff#fluff#love#romance#kaede#new wip#my wip#inuyasha fanfiction
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Hi! I've really been craving some snamione fics, and your writing has made me picky 😬 do you have any fic recs or authors you go to when you're wanting something good? (the spicier the better)
Girl, you came to the right place. My Snamione loving heart is all aflutter. MY TIME HAS COME!!
*scampers off to fetch list to all her fave Snamiones in no particular order*
Self Slain Gods on Strange Altars by scumblackentropy What do you want me to say, Granger? That you are mine and I am yours? You are. I am. Let's not fuck around.
Pet Project by Caeria Hermione overhears something she shouldn't concerning Professor Snape and decides that maybe the House-elves aren't the only ones in need of protection.
FALLING FURTHER IN by kaz2 Hermione begins to learn something of the man behind the dark sarcasms of the classroom.
Chasing The Sun by Loten AU, from Order of the Phoenix onwards. Hermione only wanted to learn Healing; she discovers that Professor Snape is a human being after all, and his actions dramatically shape the course of the war as events unfold. Complete.
Pride of Time by Anubis Ankh Hermione quite literally crashes her way back through time by roughly twenty years. There is no going back; the only way is to go forward. And when one unwittingly interferes with time, what one expects may not be what time finds...
Inkspots by mezzosangue When you are a double spy with two masters, no one is a friend. But the war ended last May, and Severus is now his own man. An owl brings a letter of change, but is it a good change? Canon Compliant, disregards Epilogue. Eventual SS/HG romance.
Splintered and Broken by A plus He had watched as the thin wood snapped across her knee with a violence he had not known she possessed. He had been her teacher for seven years and had never seen this girl give up at anything. Voldemort wins, Hermione leaves, Severus waits.
The Tattered Man by Aurette I was once asked to write a Marriage Law Challenge fic by someone who loves a sad tale. This short story is it. Angst, Character Death. Tissues recommended. COMPLETE
Saving your life by lilmisblack When Hermione is captured by Death Eaters, Severus knows there's only one way to save her. 'What are you doing? ' she asked, her voice shaky. 'Saving your life,' he said, just as he started kissing her neck.
A Murder of Crows by Hogwarts 91 14 yrs post-war: Hermione’s teaching at Hogwarts when an un-aged Snape awakens from stasis and returns to the school. Sparks fly when they meet. Can they learn to trust and love in time to defeat an evil plot bent on changing the wizarding world forever?
Advanced Floriography by Viridiantly Snape's first question to Harry about wormwood and asphodel in the Language of Flowers means 'I bitterly regret Lily's death'. Harry never gets the message behind the question, but what if Hermione does, years later? Mostly set in HBP, DH and after. A story of messages with flowers, the wizarding war, and different kinds of love. Slow-burn. Not canon-compliant, but canon-inspired.
Looking for Magic by Hypnobarb Severus Snape and Hermione Granger deal with traumas past and present and find they have more in common than they realize as they prepare for the ultimate confrontation with Voldemort. SSHG pairing. Not HBP compliant. This is a novel length story.
Synergy by Laurielove Hermione is being followed, and she suspects she knows by whom. But when they come face-to-face, how will she react to him and his startling request? SS/HG. M readers only, please. Written for the 2011 LJ SS/HG Exchange.
Post Tenebras, Lux by Loten "After Darkness, Light." A chance meeting ten years after the war may not be just a coincidence, and may prove to have very far-reaching consequences. A story of many things, but primarily of healing. SS/HG; rated M for later chapters. Complete.
For the Potions Master's Amusement by snape.submiss Now Complete! Severus Snape is not a kind man, but Hermione Granger is past caring. She wants his approval and will do anything to get it. How far will she go? Even she has no concept of the depths to which she will fall in her quest.
Latent Loveliness by Ladyreason Bellatrix gets in one last curse before her defeat which causes Hermione to fall into a deep sleep... She'll only awaken to one man's kiss. And boy, will she awaken. eventual SSHG pairing
Babble On by Aurette One person's nervous tic, is another's nervous joy.
Liminal by Cybrokat Severus Snape keeps running into a student playing piano. Why does he stop to listen, and how does she respond when she is asked to invite him when she plays? And what about Voldemort? Here there be fluff, romance, drama, and angst.
Sins of the Father by Emmaficready 9 Months after the end of the war, a destitute Severus Snape, practically living rough, gets news that will change his life forever. Severus Snape Lives! / POST DH / EWE WARNINGS: Abuse, Neglect, Character Death, Rape, Sensitive/taboo topics.
The Marriage Law by teshara 020 rewrite and update! When Hermione Granger and Severus Snape are thrown together by the ill-conceived Marriage Law, no one doubts they'll make a good undercover team for the Order. No one suspects that they'll find mutual respect, love, and a plot to destroy the world. A story in 3 parts.
A wizard s trial by snapeophil Hermione is out after curfew when she witnesses something that will change her relationship to her DADA professor forever.
The Prisoner and the Occlumens by duskywolfdaemon Hermione's plans to spend her seventh year on the run with her friends are shattered when Severus Snape shows up with a proposal she cannot refuse. *AU 7th year with Hermione attending Hogwarts. Eventual SSHG. M for reasons. ***COMPLETE***
Unintentional Inveiglement by onecelestialbeing Takes places during the summer after OoTP, the Golden Trio is forced to stay in hiding at Grimmauld Place. Hermione (who is of age!) begins gravitating towards Snape without knowing why, and he attempts keeping her at arms length, but will be able to remain doing so? AU
Innocent Shadows by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse "You'll sort everything. Gods, Hermione, you fought five Death Eaters to a standstill *and* defended and saved Snape."/ "Professor Snape."/ Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes. That." He waved his hand at the bed. "So this? Piece of cake." /Marriage Law /ss/hg HEA...always *grin*
Turned Over by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse Severus Snape inherited Hermione Granger at three o'clock on a rain-soaked Saturday morning in March. SS/HG HEA...Always :) COMPLETE
The Irony by awakethelion Hermione Granger gets stuck in her Animagus form and is put in the care of the only one strong enough to control her - Severus Snape. The over-achieving know-it-all Gryffindor, is, in the eyes of Hogwarts student body, home taking care of her ill parents, while in reality she is now living life posing as Professor Snape's familiar. J.K. Rowling owns all the characters.
Camerado by MillieJoan Hermione seeks knowledge from a reluctant Snape in order to help the War effort. What she receives is more than either of them expected. Set beginning in Hermione's sixth year, continuing into a slightly AU post-DH era.
Unto Their Own by CRMediaGal The Light has fallen, Darkness abounds, and Hermione Granger is struggling to survive in a far more sinister Wizarding world. When she is sentenced into Snape's charge, Hermione begins to wonder if everything is truly as it seems. For better or worse, their worlds are about to collide, perhaps even unite them against a common enemy. AU, Post-Hogwarts, Rated M.
Vixen by SLovingLecter After her parent's deaths Hermione is bound and trapped in her Animagus form, first for her own safety, then to ensure the safety of others during the war. Who is she bound to? Severus Snape, of course.
Another Dream by dragoon811 Due to his injuries, Severus is unable to resume his old life. He's determined to be lonely and miserable, but the yearly Order Christmas party becomes a bright spot, thanks to Hermione Granger. Complete.
The Prisoner and the Occlumens by duskywolfdaemon Hermione's plans to spend her seventh year on the run with her friends are shattered when Severus Snape shows up with a proposal she cannot refuse. *AU 7th year with Hermione attending Hogwarts. Eventual SSHG. M for reasons. ***COMPLETE***
Entangled by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse No doubt, she'd been showing off obscure spells she found in the archives, again. Apparently, she did that whilst drunk. Hermione never yet had any memory of it. / SS/HG HEA...Always :)
Time Immemorial by FawkesyLady Hermione loses it after the Battle of Hogwarts. Unfortunately, she still had that time turner and she uses it, sending her back in time, a mystery for the denizens of Hogwarts, circa 1976. OC's are important. Please note, chapters 21-26 could be considered crossovers with JRR Tolkien's Return of the King. In for long haul, y'all. Nominee for Marauder's Medal 2018, Best WIP.
The Offer of Just One More by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse The feeling in her chest twisted. Tightened. Ronald Weasley didn't want children. SS/HG HEA...Always :) This one's a slow burn.
Time's Hammer by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse She was about to break the time stream. Not just break it, but take a bloody hammer to it. SS/HG HEA...Always :)
Clash of the Conjurers by llorolalluvia In a world where the mere flap of a butterfly's wing can cause a hurricane on the other side of the globe, can one simple glance save a man's life? When Hermione and her professor are forced together against their will, can they overcome their differences, find order amidst the chaos, and save the Wizarding World? not Cannon compliant. Rated M for sexuality and violence. DUBCON!
Turned Over by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse Severus Snape inherited Hermione Granger at three o'clock on a rain-soaked Saturday morning in March. SS/HG HEA...Always :) COMPLETE
One Step Forward, Two Decades Back by corvusdraconis AU/AO: [HG/SS] What-if Story. Hermione Granger gets erased due to a badly phrased, vague, and bitter wish. She is Hermione Granger no more. Now, thanks to Ron, she is Hermione Ankaa Black, sister of Sirius & Regulus Black, & member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Now what is she going to do? Multiple pairings in later chapters, and JP starts out as a rampaging jerk.
Absinthe by Aurette A dark deed on a dark night sends two lives spinning out of control. To forge a future, both must confront their pasts. AU, EWE, SS/HG, HEA
The Love You Take by Subversa Hermione is cursed by the Death Eaters, and Dumbledore believes Professor Snape is the only one who can help her and keep her safe. Hermione is 18 years old in this story, but she is still a student.
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On The Run | 01
ship: Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader
summary: The Hargreeves have to leave the Academy behind and run away to Dallas, Texas. The Reader is a lot more anxious than Five and thats understandable, but they need to focus.
series: read part 2 here
author: jane jack aka your girl jjfics
words: 1950
warnings: mentions of blood, death and murder, (feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, flashbacks) and lots of angssst (why do i love writing angst thoughh??)
a/n: there will definitely be a part 2 so keep those notifications in checkk
It felt as if you could read everyone else’s thoughts through the silence. The car kept moving at a fast speed as you passed cities and villages. From time to time you would worry Five was going to lose control of the car, but he never even flinched.
He just looked at the road before you; stress and worry were clear in his eyes. There was so much he needed to figure out. Who were you going to be from now on? And him? And his siblings? Were you going to hide forever?
“Five” you whispered. He didn’t hear you. Or maybe he did and he chose to ignore you. “Five” you said again, this time catching his attention.
He turned to look at you for a moment and then he focused on the road again.“What?”
“Can we stop for 5 minutes at the next gas station, please? I have to wash my hands.” you said quietly looking down.
He pursed his lips before he spoke again. “No.” Five was just being direct. The more time it took you to get to Dallas, the more vulnerable you became.
Dallas…
You fell through the vortex a couple of months before Five arrived. With no idea where the others went or how to find them, it was really just you, all alone. You were the last one Elliot took a picture of before the chaos of the second apocalypse began. The alley was strange, and so were the people. Everything was different here. You were disoriented and scared. According to the confused strangers when you asked them the date, you were somewhere way before your birth.
First thing you realise when you don’t even have a home anymore is that you need money. It can be so crucial. But how will you, a nobody in the 60s, survive if all you knew how to do, was sing? Music was how you met your best friend Vanya for the first time: at an audition. And after that followed the concerts. The public loved the two of you.
So you did what you did best.
One day, while walking aimlessly on the busy streets, searching for a place selling cheap food, you started singing your favourite song. A song no one around had ever heard, a song you danced to with Five once. People started to gather around you and listen as you went on. This was it, this is where you were in your element. Your father forced you to take singing lessons when you were four. You didn’t enjoy it at first, but you grew up to love it. People clapped and left you money before going on about their day. So you ended up spending the entire day there. By nightfall you had been given enough money for the whole week.
You were leaning on a cold brick wall and eating a sandwich when you saw someone drop a newspaper. Curiously, you grabbed it and were shocked by the headline.
“Young woman sings in front of a bakery stealing every Texan’s heart. Who is the mysterious singer to whom many would empty their pockets for a show?
You had been living in an apartment above The Rosemary Club, the place you worked at now. You sang almost every night and earned a lot of money and visitors for your boss, so he let you stay there.
One night, you had a special visitor. He wasn’t there to see you specifically; he was working, just like you. Luther went everywhere his boss went, he was his bodyguard. You made eye contact a couple of times but never spoke on that evening. You couldn’t even look at him without cringing away. Not after what he did to Vanya. Five might say that she’s the bomb, but in your mind, that bomb was pretty much activated by Luther.He tried to talk to you but you avoided him as much as possible.
“y/n! Wait, stop running away, God!”
“What do you want, Luther?” you gave him a cold look.
“To talk to you? Isn’t that what normal people do after they haven’t seen each other for a long time?” he asks.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” you said and ordered a drink.
“Jesus, y/n, what's wrong with you?”
“Do I have to remind you that we’re here because of you?”
“Because of me? What do you mean, didn’t you see how Vanya literally destroyed the M-”
“Shut up. I don’t care.” you cut him off. “Have you met anyone else besides me, you stalker?”
“No.” he admitted. ”I tried searching for Allison but they haven’t found her yet.”
“Right. Amazing. Five? No news about him either?” His expression softens. He knew about your relationship with Five, and how much you two meant for each other.
“No, I’m really sorry. I don’t know where he is…” his voice only getting smaller when he saw the disappointment in your eyes.
You looked up from your drink and to the big man next you. “Then you can leave. I have to go get dressed.” You put your glass on the counter and left.
Your days in Dallas were easy. Life was always the same and you knew what to expect. Sometimes Luther and his boss would show up at the club and you would ignore each other. You sang, you were introduced to some people and you would make small talk with the bartender. Day after day, always missing your friends. Missing 2019. Missing Five. Your life was easy, but you were alone for the most part. You missed cuddling with Five before you went to sleep together and then waking up in his arms. You missed how he would come and pick you up after practise. How he would kiss you after every concert and tell you how proud he was of you. You missed him truly.
The bow to the public mixed with a charismatic smile and a wave was how you always ended a good show. Walking off stage you rolled your eyes when you saw who came towards you.
“There’s someone who would like to talk to you.” he said with a stupid smile planted on his face.
“I’m on break.” you tried to walk away. Luther grabbed your arm and spun you around so you would be facing him again. “Hey! What are you doing? Back off!”
“Believe me, y/n, you really should go talk to him”
You eyed him suspiciously. “Well alright then.” you said sarcastically. “But keep your hands to yourself.”
“Yeah, right, sorry.” he said and stepped to the side . “Come with me, he’s waiting outside.” he babbled before leading you to the main entrance of the club, one which neither of you used. This all seemed sketchy. If he was trying to kidnap you, I’d be no surprise.
The air outside was cooler than usual. You crossed your arms and huffed.
And then you saw him. Right there, alive and in front of you. He was well. He survived.
He was still wearing his uniform, which was clean. He must've just arrived.
You ran to him as fast your red heels allowed you to and he met you with a warm embrace. He still smelled exactly like himself. A day to him, months for you. Is this what it felt like for him when he was stuck in the future? You hugged him tight and inhaled his scent deeply trying to forget all these nights you cried, hoping he would come through the door and hug you. Hoping he would materialize in front of you like he did for his father’s funeral.
The man still looked young, but you knew damn well who he was. He wasn’t someone you’d forget that easily. Finally, he was here, with you.
He pulled away and it almost pained you. It was crazy, of course, to think that after all this time you’d lose him again, but even as much as moving an inch scared you now that he was right here.
“y/n.”
“Five”
Your lips melted together in the most awaited kiss of the century. Of all time maybe. His hands glued themselves to your waist again and you saw him perfectly in the dim light of the alley.
Your eyes were empty. You wanted to wipe your hands but the blood on them had dried already.
“Five, please I need to wash my hands. I need to- I- I have to wash it all away- Please”
He hated that he had to hear you beg and yet he couldn't stop. It’s for her own safety, it’s for our safety, he would think.
“y/n we can’t stop now. Even 5 minutes could mean our deaths right now. Please understand”
And you wanted to understand. You wanted to stay calm just like the rest, but they were trained. They’ve done such things before. You however, didn’t. Everytime you looked at your lap you saw her again. Laying there, lifeless. You saw the knife as it fell from your hands, making an awful sound when it hit the floor. Maybe if you’d wash them, the flashbacks would stop.
“Please, I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t be like this. This is not- It’s not-”
Your breath was uncontrolled. Everytime you closed your eyes, you saw her again. Everytime you would inhale, she would exhale for the last time, again, and again, and again. You were fully sobbing now.
Vanya’s hand softly touched your shoulder from the back seat and you flinched. “Shh, it’s just me” she cooed “It’s just me”
You tried to relax a bit and then spoke again, hoping to get it right this time.
“I’m a bad person, Five. I just killed an innocent woman and… and I have her blood all over my hands.” you looked at him to find he was already looking at you. Guilt and regret were visible on his face. “I’m a killer, Five.” you wept.
He reached your cheek with one hand and wiped your tears away. “She wasn’t innocent” he stated. “She’s killed many people.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m any less of a killer”
“Well, then. I’m a killer too. More or less than my siblings here. So we are all on the same team.” he spoke calmly, as if the Hargreeves discussed murder at the dinner table every evening. Thinking about it twice there’s a big chance they did, when the old man was still alive at least.
“But you killed to survive, Five. You had to. I didn’t but she’s dead now.”
He huffed in annoyance. She’s not used to this. Take it slowly, he thought.
“You had to, too, y/n. It was self defence. If it wasn’t her then… well then let’s not think about it” he finished. Then I would be the one dead, you added, but only in your head because you knew how much he hated thinking about anything bad happening to you. He wanted you safe. You wanted him safe.
“Okay then. But as soon as we’re in Dallas we’ll stop and get new clothes.” you started to come back to your senses again. Right. You need to get to the city and find a way to trick the Commision. Or maybe you needed to hide. Or just freshen up and get on the road again. You didn’t know exactly what you were going to do, but if anyone found the map Diego was holding in his lap right now, they’d know exactly what your first stop was going to be. The Rosemary Club.
#five hargreeves#five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves imagine#five imagine#five x reader#number five fanfic#number five x reader#number five imagine#number five#tua imagine#tua fanfiction#tua fanfic#tua fandom#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy imagine
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Until My Last Breath (Prologue)
Summary: When Smaug arrived, he not only killed the dwarves of Erebor, but he also destroyed the lives of the few who survived... whether he did it on purpose or not.After a hundred years, a part of Thorin's past will come back to haunt him in the form of a dwarf who last knocks on the door of Bilbo Baggins' house, resurrecting old grudges and the pain of a life no one wants to talk about. Geira, daughter of Geiri, is anything but an open book, an exiled who no one wants around, a warrior who has no one to fight for, but only an oath she must fulfil.
Relationships: Thorin x FemaleOC
Rating: M
Warnings: none.
AO3 LINK: HERE
Note Number I: English is not my first language, I have a wonderful beta @lathalea <3 (i am so much greatful you can't even imagine) but maybe I will mess up few times.
Note Number II: The Story takes place during the quest but there is a whole backstory that starts since Thorin's childhood so there are going to be a lot of flashbacks. THEY ARE NOT IN A CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER so the whole back story could be guessed but will be explained later in the story.
Note Number III: I will mix up the book events and the movie events, fixing what where (from my point of view) some mistakes were made. I have decided to do so simply because there are some lacks of infos here and there and so many lost possibilities in some actionless time, as happened in Mirkwood and Laketown.
I am blood of your blood, and bone of your bone, stone of your stone
I gift you my body so it can fall instead of yours.
I give you my soul so it can wait for yours in the Great Halls.
I lend you my voice so it can order your commands
I present you my sword so it can slay the ones who wish to harm you.
No other dwarf will be mine, no other dwarf will own me,
no one will sleep next to me, no life will come out from the womb of mine.
No one I will serve over the crown, over the Seven Stars, over the Father of all fathers, over the King of all Kings.
I offer myself to you, until the end of times, until the mountains soar to the sky,
until all the blood dries, until the fires of Mahal’s forge blaze high.
Until my last breath, until my last glance, until my last blow,
until the last time my hands touch the rock our Father gave to us,
my life is yours and your wish is mine.
--------------------------------------------------
The house of Bilbo Baggins was more crowded than usual that evening, and the owner was more than a little disconcerted: not only had his peace of mind been disturbed, not only was his larder completely, utterly, depleted, but his kitchen, indeed his whole house, was overrun with dwarves! Thirteen dwarves! Plus a wizard he had met in the morning whom he barely knew and had marked the door with a rune, thanks to which his guests had recognised the Hobbit's dwelling. Truly, Bilbo Baggins did not know how to begin to drive them out, he had been trying since the first one (Dwalin, if he remembered correctly) had walked in through the round door, obviously without being heard by any of them.
Crockery, knives, pots and pans, everything had begun to fly from one side of the room to the other without ever stopping. He tried more than once to stop them, without ever succeeding! At that moment his Took blood was more useless than a fork when eating soup. In fact, his Baggins blood had gotten the better of him, leading him to accept the situation with no small amount of annoyance, including those black strokes on his yellow walls and the fragments of food scattered on the floor. Oh, not to mention his good wine, totally gone! It had taken him hours to sort out his pantry between days before and now all his food, all his tomatoes, all his wine, all his cheese, everything, gone, vanished, and it was not even the time for the spring solstice party yet!
And now, or in heaven's name, now Gandalf had even had the courage to tell him that he would have to get used to them! To all of them! To the twelve dwarves in his kitchen! And what on earth did the wizard mean by saying that he would have to put up with them forever!
Annoyed, he began to walk down the corridor arguing with Gandalf and putting his hands on his hips.
"I don't understand what they are doing in my house!" he shouted, raising his voice.
The wizard didn't reply, but a small voice behind him did and before he knew it his entire set of porcelains was in the air. His cutlery was being knocked over his table. Knife blades were being dulled by their rubbing against fork handles, and before he knew it, in time to the music, his entire kitchen set was flying through the air. Oh no, no no no, not that chair, no, not that plate, no not that other plate! No, stop, please!
His pleas were soaring through the air, as if they were leaves on a wind, as were his dishes. And Gandalf sat smoking his pipe on a chair with an amused smile while all this happened before his eyes. Bilbo ran to the kitchen to put an end to this madness, but as soon as he did so, he noticed to his surprise that all the things that had been flying over his head until just now were neatly stacked on top of each other on his kitchen table.
He blinked, several times adjusting his braces, unable to believe his eyes.
The dwarves seemed highly amused by his reaction, and began to laugh, until three knocks on the door brought silence and an icy air that he could feel all the way down to his hobbit ankles.
"He is here," Gandalf said.
From the doorway a short while later another dwarf entered and it didn't take him long to realise that he was different, very different from the others who had entered his home moments before. Every single beard turned to face the newcomer as he walked inside.
Bilbo didn't know who it was and he didn't even really care, no one would enter his house unannounced, no one.
But he couldn't admit that his blood ran cold in his veins as soon as that dwarf started talking to him and asking him all those strange questions. What did he mean by axe or sword? Did he really believe that a hobbit like him had ever picked up either weapon? Who did he think he was? He could not hide his confusion at the last statement of the so-called Thorin Oakenshield.
"He looks more of a grocer than a burglar," he joked.
It was all too absurd for Bilbo's poor hobbit ears, all so surreal! His life, monotonous and lonely until a few hours ago, was now changing, he could feel it in his bones, and he could not understand if it was a good thing or not: he had always dreamed of adventure when he was a young hobbit, but now it was different; the walls of his home were so comforting and safe, every object was a certainty for him. His life was there and he would never leave it, no sir!
Calmness, however, continued to reign for a long time, during which the largest of the dwarves, with a long red beard, went to his kitchen and with an almost surreal care began to prepare a soup. Thorin Oakenshield sat down at the head of the table and was soon joined by the oldest of the dwarves who had entered his house, Balin, and two of the youngest, the two brothers Fili and Kili.
They began to talk in low voices, in a calm and quiet tone, just like everyone else in his house. It seemed absurd, but at least he was able to sort out some of the leftovers that had been left behind in the kitchen back in his own larder and eavesdrop, even if he didn't want to (it was rude) on some of the conversations that various small groups of dwarves were having. The ties of kinship were quickly understood, as was the realisation that Thorin was not really just another dwarf. No more plate was flying, no more song was being sung, but not out of fear, out of respect.
He turned his head, watching the almost regal profile as he spoke to the bear who came into the house first, but he could not hear what they were talking about, the fact was that their faces were dark, and Dwalin's eyes moved insistently over him.
A short while later Bombur returned with the soup, handing it to Thorin, and in the blink of an eye the groups of dwarves in his house were grouped together again, sitting around the table. He wasn't invited, that's normal, there's a meeting in a house and the owner of that house isn't invited! Not that he cared, of course not, the apple he was putting in the basket in the kitchen was certainly more interesting.
But he couldn't help but listen.
"What news from the Ered Luin, did they all come?" asked the older dwarf.
"Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms," the voice of Thorin spoke, setting off a round of small laughs and joyful murmurs.
"And what do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?"
A long wait ensued in which Bilbo swore he could hear the heart of every single dwarf in the room beating wildly.
"They will not come,"
The dwarf's reply was sharp and decisive. Disconsolate murmurs rose from his dining room that only increased in volume and quantity when he spoke again. "They said this quest is ours and ours alone,"
They began to talk in low voices, in a calm and quiet tone, just like everyone else in his house. It seemed absurd, but at least he was able to sort out some of the leftovers that had been left behind in the kitchen back in his own larder and eavesdrop, even if he didn't want to (it was rude) on some of the conversations that various small groups in that group were having. The ties of kinship were quickly understood, as was the realisation that Thorin was not really just another dwarf. No more flying plates, no more singing songs, but not out of fear, out of respect.
A coughing noise, however, stopped the murmurs and caused Bilbo to turn to the table from behind the kitchen wall as well, distracting himself from his chores. Gandalf settled into the small chair and began to search the sleeve of his grey robe.
"This indeed, it is not entirely true," he explained as he slowly pulled a long wooden pipe from his sleeve. "There is someone else who has yet to arrive," the sorcerer explained, barely looking Thorin in the eye.
For all the pipe weed in the world, again?
The dwarf at the head of the table stopped sipping from his goblet of ale, giving him a sidelong glance but remained silent. Instead, the dwarf named Gloin spoke, crossing his arms over his chest. "This means yet another division of profit, all of which should have been agreed upon first." he muttered.
"Agreed, this matter should have been dealt with weeks ago," Dori pinned, pulling himself up.
Gandalf did not even look up at the elder dwarf, adjusting the tobacco in his pipe. "My decision was made after our meeting in the Ered Luin. And Master Gloin, I think that our member does not wish any of that gold in that Mountain."
"Who is it?" grunted Dwalin suspiciously, looking up at the wizard who lit his pipe with his fingertips.
Bofur chuckled under his big black mustache, puffing an avalanche of white smoke from the side of his mouth. "Another burglar?"
"A burglar for the burglar," Fili grinned at the back of the room.
"A burglar made for the burglar," Kili added and their banter invited the murmurs from just before. This time, however, they were louder, more confused, as was his hobbit head.
A torrent of questions flooded the room as they all asked questions of the wizard, who, bewildered, tried to answer; only Thorin's intervention put an end to the commotion created, shouting warnings in their native tongue. Then he turned to the sorcerer himself, glancing at him.
"The questions that have arisen around this table are fair," he began earnestly, "I have not been informed of any others, none of this was a part of the bargain, Gandalf."
Gandalf smiled with the side of his mouth taking a puff of his pipe. "I was told to find the fourteenth member of this company and so I did, the addition of a fifteenth should not be an unsolvable problem."
"As I said it wasn't in the agreements and last minute clauses at a time like this are not convenient, not at all," retorted the dwarf bringing silence again.
Bilbo looked at the dwarves, clouded by the smoke from the pipes and the warmth of the candles around the table. They looked at each other's hands or watched Thorin in silence, not uttering a breath.
Gandalf put down his pipe and crossed his arms on the table, moving slightly closer to the dwarf with long raven hair.
"I assure you that my choice was not taken lightly, and if I had thought it was right a few months ago I would have reported it to you back then. But it was not possible," Gandalf lowered the tone of his voice even further. "You must trust me on this."
"Is this person crucial to what we must accomplish?" he asked quietly, looking straight into his eyes.
The wizard murmured a small "yes" between his lips, nodding his head slightly as he continued to look the dwarf lord straight in the eye.
Thorin said nothing, watched the wizard for a few more seconds before letting himself go off the back of his chair and then he took a sip of ale from his mug again. The conversation had ended in a few simple sentences, yet Bilbo noticed how the wizard continued to look at Thorin insistently.
Gandalf brushed his gloves around his hands with his fingertips dropping his gaze downwards for a few seconds before turning his head back towards him.
"Bilbo, my dear fellow," he called to him in a manner far more cheerful than his face was capable of showing. "Let us have a little more light".
----/////----
A snort passed her lips.
She was dreadfully late, which she hated from the bottom of her heart; and she hated the fact that she was going to a strange house of a Hobbit whose identity she did not know, although after all those years she had become accustomed to being in the homes of strangers quite often. Perhaps the real reason for her stomach clenching was not whose house it was but who she was supposed to meet in that house and the reason why she was going to that house. Because when she would see them again, all of them , it would not be pleasant or easy.
Far from it.
She didn't even think it would ever happen, nor did he want it to happen again.
She slung her sack over her shoulder as she climbed up the little dirt road, passing funny grass-covered houses by the round door: if it had been daytime, a riot of colours would have accompanied her path and perhaps, for a few minutes, she would not have thought about the imminent meeting.
She would have stopped for a few brief moments on that bench next to the path and sat there for a short while, perhaps lighting her pipe or watching those very peaceful people go about their simple business. Watching them do simple, mechanical things, perhaps in another life she might even have stayed in such a place, in peace, with someone. But no, too many years had passed, she had seen too much, heard too much, and she would not be able to live like that, not there.
Suddenly, a faint pale light caught her attention: she approached it and, with a thump in her heart, recognised the rune that the sorcerer had traced so that they could all see it. She reached the garden and climbed the small steps that led to the round green door. She ran a hand over her leather bodice and gathered in her heart all the emotions she could possibly feel.
Hatred, fury, pain and anger, so much anger.
She gritted her teeth and tried to ignore the voices she could hear through the door. Taking a deep breath to calm her already jangled nerves, she knocked, hearing a great commotion and excited voices from inside.
The door suddenly opened, and it was the sorcerer himself who filled her field of vision: he broke into a rather smug smile, proud to have been right for the umpteenth time.
He knew she would come at last.
She had met him only a few weeks before and he was exactly as the rumours said. Gandalf's every move was studied and planned and, who knows why, everything corresponded to the plan he had devised; how every cog in that mechanism worked was a great mystery. Yet for that, she could not but admire him.
So, after he had silently nodded his head, she entered the cosy, warm house that smelled of good food and wine and was lit by the soft light of candles; she followed him into a corridor and the smell of ashes and moss entered her nostrils, as well as that of processed tobacco and malt. In a few steps she found herself in front of a small room where, around a table, were crammed all the others who, as soon as they glimpsed their new guest, assumed the most surprised and astonished expressions she had ever seen. Their faces turned pale, their beards seemed to stretch to the floor, and none of them dared say a word. Only one of them stood up so fast that he knocked over the stool on which he was sitting, irate.
"What is she doing here?!"
The rumble of thunder rumbled through the room and like a thunderbolt it brought to light old hidden shadows, old whispered words, broken oaths.
--------------------------------------------------
You're blood of my blood, bone of my bone, stone of my stone,
I embrace your body to let it protect me
I take your soul and forge for it a place next to me in the Great Halls
I take your voice which I will hear above all others
I take your sword and I present you my shield which will protect you from my enemies.
No other dwarf will be yours, no other dwarf you will serve,
no one will keep you company at night, no life will come out from you.
No one you will serve over me, over the Seven Stars, over the Father of all fathers, over the King of all Kings.
I offer myself to your hands until the start to the end, until the skies fall on the ground,
until all the bones crack, until the fires of Mahal’s forge blaze high.
Until my last breath, until my last glance, until my last blow,
until the last time my hands touch the rock our Father gave to us
my desires are yours, your pain is mine.
#thorin#thorin oakenshield#thorin x oc#thorin fic#thorin fanfiction#the hobbit fan fiction#king under the mountain#quest of erebor#middle earth#middle earth fic
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Since the exchange reveal was today, I can finally cross-post this here.
“A Working Relationship”
Sci-Fi AU, Artificial Intelligence, Secret Histories, Intrigue, Finding Your Place (and getting a crush on your android boss)
__________
“I don’t care how smart he is, you’re not putting a Jin on this ship!”
His first reaction is a flush of anger. The second is a barely-smothered explosion of laughter.
In all the insults he���d borne over his parentage in his lifetime, this had to be the first time in… well… ever that it was his father’s side being disparaged.
But when he peeks around the corner and sees who’s arguing with the Admiral, he immediately understands why.
The speaker is a perso-core droid.
Meng Yao has no illusions about the treatment of the droids custom-ordered by the ports his father owns. He’s even met some of them, when they came to drop off another meagre payment to his mother. Delicate, beautiful dolls designed for little more than to be stared at… or played with.
Easily broken, and just as easily replaced.
His still healing ribs give a throb. He can relate to the feeling.
He can use it, too, he realizes, a plan coming together in the back of his mind as he watches the pair bicker.
“Excuse me.”
They both turn at the sound of his voice, and the droid’s eyes narrow, photoreceptors and the light patterns decorating his body briefly shading closer to red than their usual pale green. He’s reasonably sure that if that long dark hair and silver skin weren’t synthetic, he’d be bristling like an offended Firenian Raptor Cat.
It’s an uncomfortably attractive look.
He immediately squashes that thought, then bows, carefully emphasizing the stiff discomfort of the motion. “I apologize for causing any discord. It’s true that my father is Jin Guangshan, but I have no association with the company, nor the ports that it owns.”
“You approached him for work two stationary cycles ago,” the droid says, voice tinged with suspicion.
He had been made aware his background had been searched from the moment he’d been identified as a Jin, however, so he is ready for that. “My late mother desperately wished for me to join the family business. His, of course, not hers. But visiting him has proven to be a mistake. It’s clear now that my father has a very similar opinion of his illegitimate children as he does his droids.”
He opens one of the side panels of his flight suit to show off the bruises that still prominently mottle his skin despite two visits to a medical ward he could afford.
It’s the briefest flicker-flash, a barest twitch of synthetic musculature that most people wouldn’t notice on a human, much less a droid. But the reaction is there, and he can feel the emotional shift in the air as the droid and the Admiral look at each other, the argument between them now silent instead of snapped.
After a few moments that surely feel longer than they actually are, the droid makes a noise that would have been a huff from anyone with lungs and turns away. “One full planetary rotation,” he grumbles, then stalks away down the hall.
If the droid means the planet they’re currently in orbit over, that’s thirty days by the timers in the ports. “Is that to be my entire billet?” he asks cautiously, not wanting to let it sound like a complaint.
Admiral Nie shakes his head. “Probationary period. If Sang-er declares you a fit for Baxia’s crew by then, we’ll re-draw your contract for a more formal position.”
“You value his opinion very highly,” Meng Yao says, careful to keep his tone neutral, lest the Admiral think he’s probing.
Which he is, but-
“As well I should. He's been serving with our ships since before I was born, after all; he knows the fleets inside and out down to the last fastening and half-byte of data."
Something about the way the Admiral says that lingers in the back of his mind even as he’s herded down to the ship’s infirmary to have his ribs properly treated. It’s hardly uncommon for the owners of a particularly well-made droid to brag about them, but to his ear it sounds… odd.
Less like an owner pleased with his possession and more like a younger brother proud of his elder.
He’s finished settling into his cabin, what few things he owns unpacked and stowed away, when something twigs in his brain.
Sang-er.
It couldn’t possibly be what he’s thinking… could it?
---
The first week of Meng Yao’s temporary new job starts with a surprise and ends with a realization.
Given his prior experiences with employers and Sang-er’s clear dislike of him, he braces himself for the bottom of the heap and jobs like cleaning over-boiled acid out of engine cells. Instead, Sang-er puts him through a mentally grueling -and yet actually somewhat satisfying- examination of his skills, then unceremoniously shoves him straight into financial work.
Tracking numbers and allocating data has always been something he could do in his sleep if he so wished; though he doesn’t exactly let his mind wander, the tasks are easy enough that they allow him space to observe.
He wasn’t wrong, he decides, in pegging the relationship between his human boss and his mechanical one as being something akin to siblings.
Which really only lends further credence to the theory his other observations are steadily building.
Observations like how Sang-er is simply too advanced for a perso-core droid. He sifts and sorts information, skimming star maps and calculating alterations via hard-light illusions generated from his own body, and does it all with a speed and ease that should have overtaxed him a hundred times over. Small-droid cores simply aren’t designed to hold or process that much information that fast.
But a ship’s core, on the other hand…
When he’d been small, a friend of his mother’s had dreamed of one day leaving and joining the Qinghe fleets, drawn by the near legendary status of Nie Zhuyun and her ship Huaisang. A captain so sharp and daring and a ship so clever and nimble that people claimed she had somehow bonded her mind to the core to make them a perfect symbiosis.
How many of the tales his mother’s friend told were true were arguable, but what had been true was that when the Wen Chancellor had finally succeeded in his near singleminded obsession to have the ship destroyed, its core had never been found in the wreckage.
Nie Mingjue had said that Sang-er had been serving the fleet since before his birth, but that didn’t mean it had always been in the same body.
And then there is the second most important observation: Sang-er never leaves Baxia.
He’d been unsure about that one at first. Even though they are docked, most of the crew remain onboard a good portion of the time. But after a few days of watching, it has become clear that while even the Admiral occasionally goes out into the port for one bit of business or another, Sang-er stays on board at all times, sometimes with some gentle but pointed reminding on the Admiral’s part.
As if the droid is being purposely kept hidden.
And he can guess from whom. His father has a very good business relationship with Wen Ruohan; even though the ship is docked in a port that isn’t directly owned by the Jin family, there’s a fairly large presence of both Jin and Wen contingents. If he’s right, and Sang-er really is a reconstruction of Huaisang’s core-
He stiffens, then reaches out to stop the flow of numbers he’d been monitoring.
When he had gone to that first medical ward… there had been…
He closes his eyes and sucks in a sharp breath, then lets it out slowly.
"There a problem?" a nearby officer asks.
"No, sir. Just needed a moment for the eyes," Meng Yao says, and then gets back to work.
---
His thoughts nag at him for the rest of the designated day hours and follow him into his bed that night. They’re still plucking at his nerves the next morning, annoying him enough that he barely touches the breakfast he would have gladly stolen -maybe even committed violence to get- from a rich man’s table not too long ago.
If he's right, then he has inadvertently picked up some information that would be extremely valuable to the Admiral and Sang-er.
But to use that information, he will have to do something he absolutely despises.
Tell everything.
There is no safety in full disclosure. Keeping things close to his chest had been the only way he’d survived the arduous journey between the port he’d grown up in and the central hub where his father resides.
But Sang-er has already proven very capable when it comes to checking up on those he does not trust. If he withholds anything that he overheard, and Sang-er finds out he’d done so, then being ousted from the ship is probably the best thing he could expect.
And… he... likes it here.
It’s hard to admit that, even just in his own mind. He’s only been employed on Baxia for a week.
And yet something in his heart just settles at the idea of staying here in a way he can’t remember feeling in years. The Admiral checks up on his wellbeing. His other crewmates treat him as his station befits. He’s comfortable in the jobs he’s been assigned. Even Sang-er -for all the droid’s aversion to him- judges his work fairly and takes his opinions into genuine consideration. Comparing the crew he’s found himself with to the tittering sycophants who’d taken such glee in watching his father reject him-
He bites his tongue to stop the flow of bitterness before it becomes overwhelming and clouds his thoughts.
The point is that, for the first time in a very long time, he has found himself a place he does not want to give up.
If that means having to lay all his cards on the table, then… then fine.
He reaches a point in his tasks that he can safely pause for lunch, but instead of going down to the dining hall, he goes looking for Sang-er.
---
After more than a little unsure wandering and some eventual directions from a couple of helpful crewmates, Meng Yao finds the droid in question in one of the small-ship hangars, surrounded by a star map and several of their scout pilots.
For a moment, his breath catches in his throat.
In the dim lighting of the hangar, Sang-er's eyes and the geometric designs decorating his form glow brighter, mingling with the reflective light of the illusory stars against silvery skin. With one fingertip, he draws flight paths and points of interest, directing models of their ships less like he is ordering soldiers and more as if he is conducting dancers.
It’s hard not to stare, and in that moment he understands better some of the particulars of the information he’s about to relay.
Drawing up his nerve, he straightens his back and approaches the knot of people just in time for the lights to come back up and the star map to vanish into the palm of Sang-er’s hand. A couple of the younger scouts wave to him, drawing the droid’s attention in his direction.
“Please excuse me if I’m interrupting anything, but may we speak in private?” he asks quickly, before any potential judgements can be made.
Sang-er regards him silently, expression completely neutral, then tilts his head in acquiescence. “You’ve all got your assignments,” he says to the scouts. “See you in fourteen days.”
“Yes, sir!”
“Follow me,” Sang-er says as he turns on his heel, and Meng Yao obeys.
Their destination turns out to be the hangar manager’s office, or what would have been the hangar manager’s office if they didn’t have Sang-er. The doors close behind them with a swish and click, but Meng Yao barely hears it over his own heartbeat.
He swallows hard as he watches the droid lean against the desk.
Okay.
All cards on the table.
"Wen Ruohan knows that you're Huaisang."
Sang-er doesn’t flinch or stiffen or show any other reaction that would give away a human but, like their first meeting, Meng Yao feels the subtle shift around them. "Interesting. And you've come to this conclusion because…?"
It’s not an outright denial. No automatic accusations of wild imaginations or delusions or… anything like that. Just a quiet demand to show his work, like the evaluations before. Meng Yao can’t help but find it oddly soothing for this to be treated as nothing more than a basic report despite the severity of what he’s revealing.
“There’s a specific medical ward in the district of Koi Port that most of the residents pretend doesn’t exist. At the time I was… dismissed, it was the only one I could afford to visit. One of the other patients there was complaining that a job for the Wens had been taken from him and handed over to shifters employed by the Jins.”
That gets a visible reaction as Sang-er’s hands clench on the edge of the desk he’s leaning on.
It’s an entirely understandable response. Shifters are the worst of the worst when it comes to orchestrating and carrying out the theft of high-end droids, and their services don’t come cheap at all. For someone like Wen Ruohan, who already has so much power of his own, to enlist them from another company…
Well, the implication is clear.
“Go on,” Sang-er says, and Meng Yao doesn’t fail to notice the tension that’s entered his voice.
“He didn’t specifically describe the target, but he did mention it was aboard the flagship of the Qinghe fleet, and that the backer had ordered it to be captured fully intact, or else. No offense to any of the other droids here, but there’s no one other than you who could possibly garner that kind of demand. And no other reason why Wen Ruohan would make it.”
“I see.” Sang-er’s expression still hasn’t changed, but the words are decidedly even more clipped. “And what price would a Jin expect for information like this?”
There’s the suspicion that he’s been waiting for.
All cards on the table, Meng Yao reminds himself for what may be the tenth time. Or the twentieth, he admittedly has lost track. If he doesn’t remain honest now, he stands to lose everything.
He allows himself one more nervous swallow before answering. “I don’t know… probably something obscene, honestly. I want to be extended to a full contract.”
“And?”
“That’s it.”
Sang-er blinks at him, unable to catch the surprise from flickering across his face quickly enough, though it’s quickly schooled away. “That’s it,” he repeats, arching one eyebrow disbelievingly.
“You’ve already given me nearly everything I was looking for when I originally went to meet my father. I want to keep that,” Meng Yao says. “The rest… I will come to terms with eventually.”
There’s no immediate response, and the silence stretches uncomfortably between them as Sang-er appraises his words and everything else. It’s hard not to squirm under the stare.
Then Sang-er’s expression visibly softens, and the sight nearly knocks the wind out of him, it catches him so off guard .
Oh, that’s just not fair.
He quickly recovers, standing straight as Sang-er pushes himself away from the desk and walks past him.
“Well, come on, then,” the droid says, and he absolutely does not shiver at the new warmth in his voice.
“Where are we going now?”
“To give my recommendation to Mingjue and have you moved to more permanent quarters. And then we will start planning to deal with this new development.”
We will start planning, he says.
Meng Yao finds he very much likes the sound of that.
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handmaid - 36
PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader
WARNINGS: age gap
A/N: the next chapter is gonna be the last one and i think i’m gonna need therapy. hope you enjoy this chapter x
NEXT CHAPTER
Y/N was dressed in a baby pink and white tweed two piece, her almond white heel hitting the ground as she looked around the same halls she used to run as a child. Yet, this time everything seemed a bit more somber, the red of the walls seemed to almost swallow her in her own mind. Everything seemed a blur to her, from Dan showing up at the house with most of Mr. Forrest’s men to Sebastian being taken away. She wasn’t sure how long it had been, all she knew was that she had been moved around by Dan and several other associates from place to place until she had finally been placed in her old bedroom of her childhood home. However, the home no longer felt like home and as she waited outside Mr. Forrest’s office, fingers picking at the fabric of the very expensive skirt which for the first time seemed to fit her like a second skin.
The door opened and one of the maids gave her a kind smile before pulling the door completely open. She stood up on her heels, wondering what awaited her behind the threshold into the office of the man she had just discovered was her father. Not that it was a completely bad new, Mr. Forrest had never been anything other than kind to her but it was odd. It was odd that the father she always wished would be around during Father’s day, who would come to see her recitals had always been there but at the same time it wasn’t. He had always been in the crowd, unbeknownst to her and as she stepped inside his office and looked at the man she had seen ever since was little standing up, staring at her as if she would disappear at any minute, she wondered how she felt. Between Sebastian and being moved around like a lost package hadn’t given her enough time to even consider how she felt about her actual parentage. The young just turned heiress wasn’t sure how she felt about actually having one parent alive yet being somehow the reason as to why her mother wasn’t around anymore.
- I know you probably have several questions, Y/N. - his voice trembled, almost in fear of what his daughter had pent up inside of her. - If you allowed me, I would like to explain it to you what really happened.
- I guess. - her hands held the top of the chair, not sure if she should sit or not.
- I really loved your mother. I met her at the Opera, I swear I can still hear her voice in the quiet of the night ... I nicknamed her Robin, gave her the necklace you’re wearing. She loved you so much, she painted your nursery herself, spent hours and hours deciding on a name before finally sticking with Ella and would constantly read you her favourite books even before you were born. We were so ready to have you but after your mother I just, I just couldn’t let anything bad happen to you. I thought many times about placing you with some of my associates but then they put you in my arms and I saw your mother’s eyes on you, how tiny you were, I just couldn’t let you go. I do realise it was selfish of me and I know you probably will never forgive me for lying all these years but all I did was to protect you ... Not that it worked very well in the end.
Y/N just starred at the powerful man in front of her lay it all down. Maybe it was her curse to get powerful man at their most vulnerable yet Y/N just couldn’t be mad. She knew she should be mad, she should be mad that all this time she had a father, she had a completely different name in her mother’s eyes without even mentioning being in the shadow. Yet, she couldn’t be mad, when she looked at him all she saw was a man who had lost the woman he loved and the opportunity of having a daughter, or at least having her the way everyone ordinarily had one.
She sighed, a faint smile pulling at the corner of her lips as she walked closer to the old man, wrapping her arms around him. What use was it be mad? They had both lost something, something important and while Y/N had lost her mother, he had lost the woman he loved. As much love Y/N held for the mother she never knew, her father had lost the woman he had loved and the opportunity to have an ordinary lifestyle. She was in no place to be mad at someone who had lost so much.
- I forgive you. - she took a step back, her eyes slightly glancing to the little robin attached to the golden chain.
- We should get some dinner. I would love to show you some photos from when your mother was pregnant.
- I would love to but I’m afraid I have to check on someone. - Y/N wasn’t entirely sure if she should mention her relationship with Sebastian. She had mostly begged Daniel not to mention it and while Gwen had jetted off the moment she didn’t have to get married anymore, she was wise enough not to drop it on her newly found father that she was not only in a relationship with the man who was supposed to marry Gwen just a few weeks ago but also pregnant. Either way, she wanted to go check on Sebastian. No matter how much she asked, no one would tell her anything and her phone had been removed right when they both were rescued from Mr. Williams. - Maybe later on?
- Make sure you take Daniel with you. - Y/N nodded as one of the employees escorted her outside the study and back to the hallway where Dan was. She gave him a playful smile before walking up to whom she guessed she now had to call her step-brother, not that he hadn’t act like one since she was a little girl.
- Tweed? Starting to dress like an heiress, Y/N?
- One of the maids left it in my bedroom. - she twisted her foot slightly behind her, a bit of heat climbing up to his cheeks. - Mr. Forrest, I mean, my father said I need to take you if I wanna go somewhere.
- It’s okay, he only told me he was his father when I was 10. You get used to it eventually.
- How do you get used to suddenly becoming first in line to owning ... - she motioned around her. - All of this.
- I’m sure you can ask Sebastian for help. - his words made her stop on her tracks, a furrowed eyebrow at his statement before Daniel took a file from under his shirt. - I had my suspicions but after he was ready to sign off his place in the mob for you ... well, didn’t take long to puzzle it out.
- Did you tell anyone? - she grabbed the file away from him, not wanting anyone to hold it and mostly because she wished to destroy it or give it to Sebastian.
- I don’t think Gwen would be too interested in it considering she went on holiday with one of his bodyguards the moment she got told the wedding was off. Besides, if someone is to tell our father about it, it certainly won’t be me.
- I thought you hated Sebastian. I’m sure you called them standoffish and murderous.
- I still dislike him but ... you like him and considering you’re gonna be my boss someday, I don’t think I should really go against what you want.
Y/N merely chuckled at him as both of them got into the car and, following a bit of banter discussing if it was the best idea to go visit Sebastian or not, started to drive up to the Upper East Side. Sebastian hadn’t been taken to the hospital despite most of Y/N’s complaining, whenever she did all Dan would say ‘we don’t want the police in our business’ so all she could think about was if he was alright and recovering just fine. It wasn’t like someone would harm her if she made a call, however Dan and the other associates were firm on keeping Y/N as isolated as possible for the very first weeks.
Maybe it had been for the best, she had spent the two weeks feeling sick or very tired and weirdly enough, only a few days ago had she been able to get up without feeling like a goblin. However, she sure hoped he was alright and as his apartment because visible, her heart soared. It wasn’t like Sebastian had tried to contact her either, maybe he didn’t want to see her. After all, she was the reason he had three bullet holes in his body. As Dan parked in front of the building, her heart beat faster.
- I’ll wait for you here. - Dan took her off her mindset. - Be safe, okay?
- I will. - Y/N climbed off the car, scarily walking over to the door which was opened by the doorman with a smile on his face. She entered the very familiar lift, looking at the light buttons on the switch panel until the penthouse was reached. The doors opened horizontally and the once familiar house felt cold. Maybe it was because there just wasn’t so much staff running around. Actually, she could only spot a few bodyguards and overall staff before Amelia came strutting her way.
- Miss Y/N, I was so worried. When you didn’t come back with Mr. Sebastian. Thank god you’re alright, you look so good.
- Yeah, they’ve been moving me around for a few weeks. Do you reckon I could see Sebastian?
- He’s been in his room for a few weeks, doctor’s orders. I told him to go the hospital but the police rule. - she started to walk up the stairs with Y/N right behind her until she led her to Sebastian’s room. - You let me know if you need anything.
Y/N took a deep breathe, trying to shoo away all of the negative thoughts she had within her mind before pulling on the door handle, pushing the door open to see Sebastian laid down in bed surrounded by several papers, most likely contracts, with his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. She leaned against the wood of the door lining, her eyes calmly set on his tense forehead as he went through each paper faster than a computer, writing what looked like unreadable calligraphy. He was the one to notice her first, taking his glasses off as a soft smile appeared on his face.
- Didn’t think your father would let you near me any time soon. - he spoke out, voice slightly raspy as if he hadn’t caught a wink of sleep in the past weeks. Y/N merely rolled her eyes at his statement, walking up to his bed and taking a seat in a spot free of papers. - Are you alright?
- I should be asking you that. - her hand creeped up to his, her fingers shyly touching his. - You should’ve gone to the hospital, Sebastian.
- Just bullet wounds, angel, nothing new.
- I thought I lost you, Sebastian. You didn’t try to reach out to me for two weeks, I was worried. - she bite down onto her lip, afraid her emotions would get the best of her. Sebastian noticed this, pushing the contracts away from his lap before his hands wrapped around her waist, pushing her closer to him despite the lingering pain of the gun shot wounds still present but he didn’t care.
- Angel, I thought you were gonna die and it was my fault. I promised nothing bad would happen to you and that ... that despicable rat had you chained to the ground .. the things he said he would do to you and if he had done it it would’ve been my fault.
- Sebastian, it’s not your fault. - her hand raised to caress his jaw. - You couldn’t have done anything, whatever he wanted ... it goes way past me and you.
- I allowed him to be near you and I let you be alone at the hotel ... I should’ve just ran off with you, I should’ve just ... I should’ve just told you I loved you when I had the shot, we could’ve jus ...
- It’s no good to live in the past, Seb. You’re okay, I’m okay, we’re fine. Whatever happened, let’s just forget it. - she took the documents from her purse handing it to him. - I thought you should have those. I don’t think it would be very safe for those papers to be wandering around. I can’t believe you would give it all up for me.
- I would do anything for you. - he leaned his head against her shoulder. - How is the baby?
- Baby’s fine, probably got tired of making me feel miserable all the time. - she made herself comfortable in his bed. - How do you feel about it? The baby, I mean.
- I would’ve rather heard about it in a less stressing situation but I just can’t really believe it. Somewhere in my life I must’ve done something good, I must’ve done something good because I really don’t deserve you much less a family with you.
- I don’t really think it’s about deserving, it’s just ... maybe fated considering I was supposed to marry you all along.
- That is a contract marriage I can’t really complain about.
- From now on, let it just be the two of us. Nothing else, no more Gwen, no more lost parents, just ... an ordinary family.
- I’d like that.
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#sebastian stan#sebastian stan/reader#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan/y/n#sebastian stan x y/n#sebastian stan/you#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan drabble#sebastian stan fanfic#mob boss!sebastian stan#mob!sebastian stan#mobster!sebastian stan#mafia!sebastian stan#mafia boss!sebastian stan
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Peace
AO3.
Summary:
The Inquisition marches to the Adamant Fortress.
Cullen makes sure Alma comes back alive, and Alma makes sure to let him know when she is back.
TW: none (angst/fluffly)
Notes:
I want to thank @kemvee for being my Beta in this one shot.
Cullen could feel the tension in the air. His skin tingled with anticipation, and his muscles tensioned with the proximity of combat. His body was as ready as it would ever be, but his mind…
He watched her from a distance. She talked to Leliana about things he could only guess. Hawke came to her side and her hardened expression softened for a split second. Carver joined the family reunion and the trio leaned forward, touching each other’s forehead together.
He noticed the sadness and regret in her eyes when she watched them walk away, getting lost in the ocean of people ready to give their lives for a greater cause. To make sure the ones they loved stayed safe.
He envied the soldiers around him.
He envied them because they could march and fight, battle and die in peace. Knowing that their deaths would be a fair price so the last wisp of their souls would remain inside their lovers’, partner’s, and loved ones’ beating hearts. That they would live a long and happy life. A life with a beautiful future and hope.
He envied them…
But most of all, he felt sorry for them.
He felt sorry for them because he knew exactly what it was they were feeling.
The sense of dread and loss. The impending doom leaving feather-like touches on his overly-sensitive skin.
The lump in his throat making it difficult to breathe… To utter the words his heart wanted to shout into the cold morning air. To curse the sun that rose little by little, bathing the view in front of him with its warm rays and decorated the sky with a breathtaking portrait. Painting everything around in hues of orange and red. Reminding him that in a few hours that hue spread on the ground, sand and walls would instead be the crimson hue of the fresh, hot blood of their enemies, friends, lovers ...
Cullen felt sorry for them… He felt sorry for himself.
When he accepted his role as Commander, he didn’t expect to find her again.
Her.
The one to whom he had given his body, his heart, and his soul. To whom he had promised forever until his last breath. The one he left behind without a last goodbye. The one he hurt so deeply that her beautiful, pure heart drowned in sadness and distrust. The one from whom he desperately awaited for forgiveness.
His mind visited the past. His ears heard her whisper his name in that tone that made him feel loved and wanted. His fingers traced the freckles on her heated skin. His nose touched her soft lips to claim them in a chaste kiss. His eyes watered when he saw the hatred in hers.
He lifted his head to look at her. To see the woman she had become. The Mage, the Warrior, the Hero, the Herald, the Inquisitor, the Love of his life. The woman he would love until the end of times. The only one who could break him without any words. The one he would gladly die for that and any other day.
His lips curved into a sad smile, and then it was gone.
Cullen observed Nathaniel gather the last pieces of her armor and approach her. When the Warden started to help her, Cullen found himself making his way through the sea of people. His steps firm on his path and his mind set on his goal. If anything happened to her, he wouldn’t forgive himself. He had to make sure she was prepared, even if she dismissed his help. Even if they had to argue, he wouldn’t let her push him away.
He didn’t care that they were surrounded by the Inquisition army. That he was their commander and she was their leader. She had to survive for the future of Thedas… and maybe to argue with him one more time. He would be forever grateful if she graced him with one small smile.
He took the last of her armor in his trembling hands, and their eyes met in a wordless conversation. Not for the last time, he prayed.
She studied his features, and he begged her in silence. Her answer came when she lifted her arm for him to take.
There was quietness between them. Peace that once came when they lay in each other’s arms.
Cullen’s fingers found every knot. Every forgotten flaw in her armor, and he made sure to correct them. To send her out there prepared for anything and everything. To be protected when he couldn’t be by her side.
The only words in their speechless conversation came from his whispered prayers.
He asked and pleaded. He implored the Maker to keep her alive and safe. To not let any harm come to her. To be able to see her even if it was the last thing he would do. To be by her side when he couldn’t. To be her protector where he had failed. To never abandon her as he had.
His fingers wavered on the last lace. His tongue tied on his final word. His eyes closed, defeated and hopeless when she looked at him with unreadable emotion in her eyes. His heart stopped when she took a step back from him. His soul died when she spoke her last words to him.
“The Maker abandoned me a long time ago. There is no salvation for the likes of me, Rutherford. May He bring the peace you so desperately seek.”
He watched her once again walk away from him with death as her best and only friend.
He didn’t pray anymore.
Cullen accepted what she had accepted a long time ago. He closed his eyes and ordered himself to forget about her. To just let her go.
He let his eyes stare into the heavens, and a single tear, filled with all his sorrow, rolled down his face.
–––––––––––––––
Alma felt her knees touch the ground. Her lungs fought for air, and her mind ordered her to breathe. Breathe and forget what had just happened.
She cursed him once, then twice. She was the one who was supposed to stay back. To fight the Nightmare demon and end it all.
She was just so very tired.
Tired of everything. Of all the demands. Of all that was expected of her.
She had to be an example as a Mage. The perfect Hero for her nation. The one blessed by the Maker himself. The leader that would save them all.
Only a few knew the truth.
She was just a woman. A tired, hurt, dying woman.
One that grasped and tried and regretted.
All she wanted was to disappear. To go back to a time when everything was so much simpler. When there were no burned corpses, no spiraling tower, no blighted monsters or demons falling from the skies. No whispers in the back of her mind reminding her that her death was near and everything she still wanted to do were just wishful thoughts.
Things she shouldn’t think about.
Not think about the fact that she had never learned how to swim. About the family she couldn’t be with. Her beautiful niece who she adored so much. Of how much she loved to sleep outdoors and watch the starry night sky. Recite the recipe she learned to cook with Wynne. The friends she had to part ways with. The family she once wanted to create. A daughter and a son that filled her dreams. The lover that left her behind. Think about the man she wanted to hate but couldn’t stop loving.
She dismissed the hand that tried to help her stand. She was too sensitive. The anchor flared in anger, and her body jolted in pain. She could still see Stroud fighting the demon when the rift closed at last.
She cursed him again and then she thanked him.
She thanked him for his sacrifice. For giving her a chance. A chance to atone for her mistakes. To maybe be able to dream again.
There was shouting and people talking to her. Words her brain wasn’t capable of understanding.
Her eyes prickled with hatred.
For her, for him, for them.
She wanted to damn them all.
She was tired, her body begging to rest… but once again she was denied her simple request.
“Inquisitor… Where is Stroud?”
She balled her fists by her side. Ordered her emotions not to spill through her eyes. She breathed slowly and deeply.
“We will honor his sacrifice and remember how he exemplified the ideal of the Grey Wardens. Even as Corypheus and his servants tried to destroy us all from within...
“The Grey Wardens will join the Inquisition and help with whatever we can.
“In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice.”
“Inquisitor,” Cassandra called by her side but gave up when Alma looked at her, and the warrior saw the exhaustion in her soul. “Get some rest. We will deal with whatever is needed.”
She thanked with a nod and marched out of those cursed walls.
The hair that had been perfectly tied was half loose and poked in all directions. Her muscles ached and complained. Her lips allowed low groans to escape her mouth. Her eyes, bleary, saw nothing but blurred pictures. Her feet moved without command. Her body cursed her mind. And her mind cursed her soul.
The rain started out of nowhere. She looked up at the sky, narrowing her eyes against the thick droplets of water. The stars hid behind heavy clouds, ashamed of the blood bath below.
Alma closed her eyes and allowed the water to wash her armor. She remembered once asking him to dance with her in the rain if one day they left the prison’s tall grey walls and how he had chuckled at her. Promising with that kind smile only he had… have.
She glanced to the right, and her wild hair stuck to her cold skin. In between the wet strands, she noticed him inside his tent. The light from the lamp against his body made his shadow appear on the fabric. Showing that he had started to remove his armor.
She closed her eyes once again and allowed the relieved sigh to escape her. His prayers reached her ears, and she smiled. His words had stuck to her while she walked into and around the fade. His face, selfishly, the only thing that made her want to leave the place. His fingers against her the only thing she sought.
She wanted to hate him, and she did, but the mere thought of him… the mere sight of him, made her heart fill with hope. Made her want to have him in her arms again and never let him go. Made her want to beg for his forgiveness and to allow her to stay with him. To stay with him forever and ever... and then beyond.
She giggled, she chuckled, she laughed. She walked to him, letting her heart lead the way. She stopped by the entrance, and she then allowed herself to pray.
She asked the Maker for one more chance. For one night to forget about everything and remember about them. To be a woman and a man. Madly in love. Together again.
She reached for the fabric, but her hand hesitated, fingers curling with indecision. She was suddenly scared. A little girl covered in soot once again.
–––––––––––––––
She was safe. She was back. That was all that mattered at that moment.
Cullen cleaned his face with his gloved hand, smearing blood on his cheeks.
When he heard she had been thrown into the fade, he panicked. He fought his hardest trying to find a way to get her back. Alive.
He cursed the Grey Wardens. He cursed Clarel. He promised he, himself, would kill Corypheus with his bare hands if necessary.
And there, amidst the fight, he heard the horn. It was over. She was back.
The rain poured on his tent, the wind shook its thin walls and brought coldness with it. He adjusted his bed, throwing the covers over it so it would be warm when his time to sleep finally came… If and when he went to bed that day.
Afraid of the inner demons darkness would bring. The cherished memories of her and him. The painful feelings he wanted to bury, he lit the lamp on his table.
Cullen relaxed his shoulders and started to take his armor off. One knot at a time he removed. His muscles ached to no end, but he wanted to be rid of the extra weight as soon as possible. He knew there was still a lot to do, but that fight was over. He left the thought of other battles to come for another day.
He rolled his neck and saw his surroundings brighten with the sudden lightning bolt. A shadow on his tent's entrance caught all of his attention. Sighing, he headed to whatever waited for him.
Cullen's eyes widened when he saw Alma standing there. She was soaked to the bones. The curls he loved so much were stuck to her face. The water dripped from her chin onto her dirty armor. And her parted lips trembled.
He took a step in her direction, but her eyes never met his. They were focused on the inside of his tent, in a silent request to enter. Moving to the side for her to get in, he noticed the soldiers examining the scene in front of them.
Alma stood in the middle of the place. Waiting for something he didn't know. Something he was afraid would be one more thing separating them.
"Inq-"
She finally looked at him, and what he saw broke his heart.
She looked so fragile. Nothing like the woman who marched into battle that morning. The fierce soldier who brought courage to the army's heart. The leader who inspired her troops.
No.
Alma looked no more than just a woman in need of comfort. Rest from everything and everyone. A place to feel safe.
Cullen closed his lips and the space between them. He towered over her hunched figure and didn't move when she placed her hands on his chest. Looking up at him. Searching his face. She closed the gap and rested her forehead on his chestplate.
His hands slowly raised. One to softly hold her in place, the other to massage her scalp. Without noticing, he nuzzled his nose into her hair... just like he used to do... when she was his, and he was hers.
He sighed. A regretful sigh.
Her fingers found his belt and then his vest. He observed her focused eyes pull them off his shoulders. She moved to his gloves, and her fingers traced the scars in his hands. She caressed the callouses and planted a delicate kiss on his palms.
The vambraces and pauldrons were next. The curass was meticulously examined for any damage and then removed. Her hand traveled his chest down to the hem of his shirt and when it was off she then folded and laid it on the table beside them.
Without a single word, he saw her kneel and start to untie his boots, which were placed underneath the table.
She stood in front of him. They gazed at each other. Seeing nothing more than a man and a woman in need of redemption. A new start.
Alma placed her palm on his chest and walked around him. Her trembling fingers gently pulled his undershirt off his body. Her lips caressed the scars on his back before her hands encircled his body and embraced him. Her cold cheeks pressed against his skin. Her ears listening to his heart.
Cullen couldn't stop himself and brought her knuckles to his mouth. A tender kiss he planted on each and every one of them, hearing her sob behind him.
It was his turn to take care of her. He faced her and removed the armor just as she had done to him. He found every scar on the visible skin and kissed them, murmuring apologies and compliments. Asking for forgiveness and begging for a chance. A chance to be her comfort. Her safe haven.
Cullen stood in front of her. His soul bared for her to see. His heart in his hand for her to take. He looked at her. So small and so big. Unreachable.
Alma took some cloth and cleaned the blood on his cheeks. Her eyes never meeting his. Never answering his pleas. Her lips never soothing his broken spirit.
She cleaned his skin and then... then she cried.
She cried, and she begged. She sobbed and urged for him to forgive her.
Forgive her for pushing him away when all she wanted was to have him near. As near as they had never been.
For wasting precious time. Time she didn't have. Not anymore, not like she wanted.
She circled his neck with her naked arms. Her lips whispered supplications. They confessed her love for him.
She held him, afraid he would let her go, and Cullen pulled her closer. Burying his nose in the crook of her neck. Revealing he had dreamed about that day for so long. Having her in his arms, telling him she still loved him. That she wanted him as much as he wanted her. That she was still his and would always be.
He cupped her face and kissed her. Thanked her for coming back for him. For loving and letting him stay. He told her she didn't need to apologize, she needed her time, and he understood. He understood that so much depended on her. That so much was expected of her. He told her he understood, and then he asked her to stay.
For a future for her and him. Them.
Stay with him that night and all the others to come. To let them have what was taken from them. He looked into her eyes and told her with all his being that he loved her and would always do. He kissed her one more time and took her in his arms.
Gently, he placed her in his bed and laid beside her. Her body in his arms and her lips on his.
Cullen rejoiced when she said she loved him always and forever. That there was, and there would never be anyone but him. That she was staying with him, and there was no way he would get rid of her.
He heard her lips word her worries and ask him to not leave her. To never hurt her again. To be his comfort and his safe haven.
To be his for that night and all the other to come. To let them have what was taken from them.
A future with him and her. Them.
Cullen chuckled and laughed. He pulled her near and kissed her. He admitted he missed her more than anything.
And there, with their bodies intertwined, they finally found the peace they had been seeking for so long.
I hope you liked.
Likes and reblogs are super appreciated!
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New Plan.
Pairing: Quentin Beck x Reader
Genre: Fluff
Requested: Nope
Summary: Quentin is so close to defeating Tony Stark and Peter Parker— unfortunately for him, he met Y/N at the last moment and fell head over heels for her. His love for her was so strong, he gave up on his evil plans and settled for the next best thing— driving those who had a crush on her up a wall.
Author's Note: Hi guys! Here is the disclaimer. Have fun reading this! (also because I'm stupid and out of ideas they play the American version of antakshari lmfao) Please excuse small grammatical mistakes and typos :)
---
"Alright, guys, be calm!" Y/N shouted at the bus full of excited teenagers. Y/N wasn't a teen, she was here to chaperone a trip. Why was she chosen, you ask? Y/N was a friend of the Avengers, that's why. Peter suggested she come along and she agreed. What was there to lose? "We're going to another country, Ms Y/L/N, this is the best day of my life!" a student, Anita, told her excitedly. Y/N chuckled, she supposed it was a bit exciting. Another half an hour later, their bus full of people reached the airport. The students got down from the bus.
The group of 15 students, along with 2 teachers and one chaperone, went through the security checks and went to the waiting room. "Aren't you even a little excited, Y/N?" Peter asked, sitting next to the woman. "I guess," she sighed, looking away. "Is anything the matter?" Peter asked, gently turning her face towards him. Both of them heard a wolf whistle and rolled their eyes. "For some reason, I have a bad feeling about this trip. It's so fun, I don't know why I'm tense," Y/N admitted sadly.
"Aw, it's okay, Y/N, I'm sure nothing can go wrong with this trip! We've defeated the baddest bad there was, I don't think there's any villain left who could ruin our trip. Cheer up, sis." Peter often called Y/N 'sis', for their bond was like that of siblings. Soon, their flight number was announced. The class boarded the flight. Y/N reluctantly sat with the two teachers, even though she wanted to sit with Ned and Peter. Throughout the flight, the teachers, along with Y/N, discussed the rules of the trip. As the flight was about to land, Y/N felt something deep inside her gut.
And the feeling was bad.
---
"You know, Beck, you should meet Y/N. You'll like her, she's awesome!" Peter said, grinning at Quentin Beck. Quentin considered for a moment. Y/N, who was that? By name, she sounded interesting. "Can we meet her now?" he asked Peter slowly, stroking his beard. "Sure, we can go back to the hotel!" The two men stood up and left the bar. Peter took Quentin to the hotel where his class was staying. "Wait here, I'll be back with Y/N." Quentin nodded and Peter took off, running up the stairs.
Quentin smirked, leaning against a wall. For now, he thought of ways he could use this Y/N to manipulate Peter Parker. You see, Mysterio (as Quentin liked to call himself) wasn't good at all, he was an evil, evil man. Here to destroy Spider-Man and Iron Man, his motives were corrupt. First, he needed to have a good look at Y/N. What was her relationship with Peter? Were they friends? Was she his girlfriend? As soon as Beck thought about Y/N being Peter's girlfriend, a shiver ran down his spine. Goosebumps appeared on his skin and he felt uncomfortable, uneasy and nauseous.
Quentin shook his head, also shaking away the bad feeling. What had just happened?
"Beck, there you are! Meet Y/N!" Quentin looked up from the floor to see Peter running towards him, a firm hold on Y/N's hand as she followed him, begging him to slow down. They came to a halt in front of Quentin. Quentin, meanwhile, was busy staring at Y/N. His mind had stopped working, he couldn't form a single coherent thought. He forgot all about his evil intentions, his master plan, everything. He was close to forgetting his own name and he would have if Y/N had not interrupted him.
"Does he talk?" she whispered to Peter, who swatted her shoulder and threw her an incredulous glance. Quentin's hand balled into a fist as soon as he saw Peter hitting Y/N. No one was allowed to hit her. He soon came to his senses and let his hand fall loose, confused. What was wrong with him? What was this effect Y/N had on him? "Quentin, are you okay?" He looked at Peter and Y/N, who stared at him with concerned eyes. "I'm… I'm fine. Y/N, right? I'm Quentin, Quentin Beck."
He held his hand out but instead, Y/N gave him a tight hug. A bit shocked, he returned the hug, putting his strong arms around her waist. "Thanks for protecting Peter," she mumbled. "My duty," Quentin whispered back, patting her head as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. He threw a panicked glance at Peter but the young man could only shrug. "Go with it," he mouthed, a smirk blooming on his face. What the hell was Parker thinking?
"Um, Y/N, are you alright?" Quentin asked a few minutes later and Y/N pulled away, sniffling. Quentin suddenly felt cold, he wanted her in his arms again. "I'm fine, I was just worried about Peter. I told him I had a bad feeling about the trip and then… then that horrid creature attacked-" "Y/N! Don't worry, I can handle myself out there, I'm big now. I fought Thanos, for God's sake!" Peter groaned, crossing his arms. "You also died, young man! Do you know how that made me feel? I was depressed for months after your death, after everyone's death!" Quentin stared at the two as they bickered.
Why did Y/N have that effect on him? He had to call off his entire plan, it seemed worthless now. Sure, he had a grudge on Tony Stark for years now, but for what reason? Just because he didn't give Quentin credit? Called his creation BARF? Silly! He could start all over, make something useful, take full credit. And what about Spider-Man? Spider-Man and Mysterio, two people who had nothing against each other. They hadn't met before, too! That's it, Quentin decided, he had to call his entire plan off.
"Quentin, are you alright? You zoned out, again," Peter said, noticing the hollow look in Quentin's eyes. Peter and Y/N had stopped bickering a long time ago. Peter liked Quentin. Especially the way Quentin had helped him defeat the Elemental, Peter found that very fascinating. "Huh? I'm fine," Quentin muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "You seem tired," Y/N said, placing a hand on Quentin's forearm. Peter smirked as he saw the slight blush that arose on Beck's cheeks. So Quentin had a crush on Y/N! That explained all the zoning out! Peter smiled goofily, Y/N and Quentin would make a rather cute couple.
A hot one, too, both of them were very attractive. "I am, had a long day," Quentin chuckled, placing his own palm on Y/N's hand. "You should go rest. I hope you have a place, if not, I can book a room in this hotel," Y/N smiled. She had to admit, Quentin Beck was the hottest and the most handsome guy Y/N had ever seen. And she knew Tony Stark. It was a given she had a crush on him. She hoped they would meet again so she could ask him for a date before the trip ended. "So, uh, Y/N, I'm going now."
Y/N snapped out of her thoughts and smiled at Quentin. "Goodnight," she said, gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked back to her room. Peter gave Quentin a huge smirk as Quentin blushed furiously, two pink spots showing up on his cheeks. "Have a crush? Wouldn't blame you, to be honest," Peter shrugged. "What do you mean?" Quentin asked as he walked with Peter out of the hotel. "Steve, Thor, Bucky, Sam, Loki, Dr Strange, heck, even Mr Stark had a crush on Y/N when they first met! She has that effect, Ms Romanoff said it's her 'superpower'," Peter snorted, showing quotation marks with his fingers when he said superpower. Quentin smiled.
On the inside, he boiled of anger. How dare they think that way of Y/N? His, only his. New plan! Exposing Spider-Man was out of the picture now. New Mission: Impressing and wooing Y/N. He would make her his and show those degenerates, those pathetic excuses for Avengers whom Y/N truly belonged to.
---
"Cancel everything."
"But sir-"
"You heard me. Cancel. Everything."
"We've worked so hard-"
"Did I stutter? Just cancel everything, goddamn it!" Quentin screamed. "Y-Yes, sir," Jean sighed and went to alert his other co-workers. Quentin sat down on his chair, his head in his hands. "Sir, are you alright? Do you want water?" Quentin looked up and stared at Anne. "Sure." She went to get him a glass of water. Quentin felt as if he needed something stronger than water but now that Anne had gone to fetch water for him, he supposed he could wait a few minutes before going to the bar. "Here you go, sir," Anne called out, returning with a glass of water.
"Thank you," Quentin mumbled, drinking the water. After he was done, he got up. "I'm going outside, tell everyone else," he told Anne, who nodded. Quentin left the place, going to the bar where he, along with Peter, had celebrated their victory over the elemental not even a few hours ago. Quentin walked into the bar. It was nearly midnight; the bar was still crowded, though. He somehow found a chair in front of the bar and sat. "One beer, please," he called out to the bartender, who nodded. Quentin patted his pockets to check if he had his wallet.
He felt the slight bulge of his wallet and sighed in relief. The bartender placed the glass of beer in front of Quentin and left to serve the other customers. As Quentin raised the glass to have a sip, he heard someone calling his name. At the first call, he thought he misheard someone. The second time he was certain someone was calling him. He turned and smiled to himself as he saw Y/N making her way towards him. "Hi," he said as she sat next to him. "Quentin! I never expected to bump into someone I knew here, right now," Y/N chuckled, running a hand through her hair. "Why are you still awake? you need to sleep."
"Don't tell me what to do," Y/N countered and both of them laughed. Y/N, seeing the glass in front of Quentin, ordered a beer for herself, too. "What are you doing here, if I may ask," Y/N said, smirking at Quentin. "Couldn't sleep," Quentin shrugged. "Me too, to be honest," Y/N sighed. "Why not?" Quentin frowned. His Y/N, not able to sleep? "Bad dreams, you can say," Y/N said, picking up the glass of beer the bartender put in front of her. "I'm sorry," Quentin smiled sadly but she shrugged his apology off. "What were they about?" Quentin blurted out.
"Peter getting hurt. When we were at the New York airport, Peter asked me why I wasn't excited about this trip. I told him I had a bad feeling about the trip. I've been having nightmares every night ever since we arrived here, in Venice. Next stop is Prague, I hope nothing bad happens there," Y/N explained quietly. "How about I join you on your trip? You'll have a friend by your side, plus, I can look after Peter with you," Quentin offered suddenly and Y/N stared at him. "You'll do that for me? You're the best, Quen," Y/N exclaimed with a broad smile, hugging Quentin tightly. Quentin smiled, hugging her back.
"Of course. I have nothing else to do now, right? The Elemental, the sole purpose of my visit to this Earth, is defeated. Where do I go from here?" Quentin said, pulling away from Y/N. "You could go back to your own planet, Quentin. Don't the people there miss you, your friends and family?" Y/N suggested, a tad disheartened that Quentin couldn't stay with her. "Everyone on my planet was destroyed by the other three Elementals, Y/N. There's no point in going back there. Also, I've got friends here, right?" Quentin smiled, taking Y/N's hand.
"Of course you do! We're your friends!" Y/N grinned broadly, clutching Quentin's hand. Quentin sighed in relief, the whole "other planet" story was made up, anyway. Quentin and Y/N quickly finished their beers. Quentin paid for both and the two… ahem… lovebirds walked out of the bar hand in hand. Quentin offered to walk Y/N back to her hotel since it was very late at night. As they walked, Quentin put an arm around Y/N's shoulder to see her reaction.
If she did not push him away, she trusted him. If she pushed him away, she didn't. To his surprise, Y/N shuffled closer to him, pulling his arm tighter around herself. Quentin smirked, she definitely trusted him. And perhaps, liked him back. That was a start. They reached Y/N's hotel in under 10 minutes. "Do you have a mobile phone?" she asked him. He nodded, taking out his phone. She took it and added her number in his phone. "May I get your number?" she grinned. He nodded again, adding his number in her phone. "Tomorrow we're going for a boat ride across the city, something we couldn't do today because of the elemental. Join us?" Y/N questioned, hoping he would say yes.
"Of course I will! A boat ride sounds nice," Quentin grinned. "Cool! Tomorrow, after asking the teachers, I will contact you, sounds good?" Y/N grinned back. "Alright. I'll go now, you need sleep. Goodnight!" Before he could turn, Y/N stopped him, grabbing him by the shoulders.
She leaned on her tiptoes, and pressed a kiss to Quentin's lips, a perfect goodbye kiss. Though Quentin was beyond surprised, he went with it. They way Y/N fitted in his arms, the way the kiss felt, it was as if Quentin and Y/N were a match made in heaven. "Goodnight," Y/N whispered, pulling away from him. Quentin smiled at her. They waved at each other and Quentin left the hotel. A goofy smile found its way to Quentin's lips as he walked towards his lair. The kiss. The goddamn kiss.
---
"Whew! That was awesome, wasn't it?" Mr Dell grinned as the 15 students, 2 teachers and 2 chaperones walked to their hotel. They had just finished a beautiful boat ride across the city, but it was still early in the evening. The class had no plans for the rest of the evening. Peter thought that they'd have to get bored at the hotel. "It so was," Mr Harrington agreed. The students looked at each other with huge grins. Y/N glanced at Quentin to see him already looking at her. "Did you enjoy yourself?" Quentin whispered. The two hung around until they were at the end of the group. "I did, what about you?" Y/N whispered back.
"I did, too."
Both of them gave each other broad smiles. Quentin put his arm around Y/N's shoulder and like the previous day, Y/N shuffled closer to him. "Yo, lovebirds, walk quicker!" MJ called out to them, turning around to flash a quick smirk at them. Quentin and Y/N blushed furiously, quickening their pace. They reached the hotel. "That's it? Nothing else today? It's not even 5!" Flash groaned, stomping his foot. "Well… I suppose you kids can hang out," Mr Dell shrugged. "I have a fun game idea, my cousins and I back in India play this game a lot," Anita piped up. "Which game?" Betty smiled at her.
"It's a song game. One person sings a song and the next person has to sing a song starting from the last letter of the previous song. For instance, if I sang a song and it ended in 'p', then the person after me sings a song beginning with 'p'," Anita explained. The group exchanged glances. "Sounds fun! Where do we play?" "How about my room?" Peter suggested. The two teachers politely declined, claiming they were tired. One other student, James, said he felt nauseous and declined, too.
The 16 other people went to Peter's room. "Team up! How about 8 teams with two people each?" Anita called out. "Sure! There are exactly 8 girls and 8 boys, how about a guy and a girl?" The teams were, hence, decided. Peter and MJ, Ned and Betty, Flash and Anita, Nikki and Carson, Lily and Kyle, Eric and Miley, Ruth and Jason, Y/N and Quentin. Everyone sat wherever they could find place. Y/N and Quentin were squished together in a small bean bag. Both of them squirming around a lot until Quentin grabbed Y/N by the waist and placed her on his lap. "Making moves on Y/N, huh?" Carson teased as Eric and Jason wolf whistled. Peter smirked at the two of them.
"There's no place for two people to sit next to each other in this bean bag," Quentin sighed, rolling his eyes. Y/N was blushing like crazy. "Okay, let's start!” Lily and Kyle were the first people to begin with the song. The game went on smoothly, the teams were actually able to come up with songs that started with a specific letter. Soon, it was Quentin and Y/N's turn. The letter they were given was 'L'. Both of them were lost in thoughts until Y/N suddenly came to her senses. "Let's talk about it, gotta get this off my chest," she sang.
Quentin's eyes widened slightly. Her voice was elysian. "Fall for you, Steve James. Good choice," Nikki applauded, nodding. Y/N continued singing the song as the girls from the other teams sang along. "I fall for you, I fall for you, I fall for you, oh yeah I do, I do," Y/N sang, giggling as Kyle and Carson engaged in a dance off on their seats. Quentin simply stared at Y/N, which made Peter smile to himself. Why couldn’t they just date?
After Y/N was done, the turn landed on Peter and MJ. As they thought about which song to sing, Quentin turned to Y/N. "You have a beautiful voice, Y/N," he told her with a small smile. "Thanks Quen," Y/N smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. He easily put his arms around her waist and they sat there, snuggled into each other's arms. "You guys literally cannot make your relationship any more public," Betty deadpanned humorously. "Shut up," Y/N whispered at Betty's comment, leaning up to give Quentin a small kiss on the lips. She was feeling quite impulsive that day, to be honest.
She knew Quentin reflected her feelings; the way he was always looking at her everytime she turned towards him, the way he had a smile every time she spoke… Y/N was not an idiot. "Ugh, PDA," Lily groaned and Quentin laughed, pressing his lips to Y/N's forehead. This was not how he imagined one of them would make the first move, but he wasn't denying it. This only made his job easier. His job was done, he could say. He impressed Y/N, he wooed her, that was it. Now he would cherish this beauty for the rest of his life.
"Alright, we give up, I can't think of any song that starts with 'Z'!" Y/N heard Ned exclaim. What, Peter and MJ's turn was done already? She was so lost in thoughts. The thing she was thinking about was how Quentin and her were finally dating, all thanks to her. And thankfully he didn't make a scene when she kissed him, he went with it, even.
It was understood.
---
"May!" Peter exclaimed, running towards the woman who was waiting with her arms open. "Dude forgot his luggage," Y/N blinked and Quentin chuckled. They were returning from Prague. The second half of the vacation was awesome, or so were the thoughts of the students. Y/N and Quentin actually had their first date in Prague. "Y/N! Come here!" May called out and Y/N reluctantly left her boyfriend's side to give the woman a hug. "Who's this gentleman? Your boyfriend?" May whispered in her ear and pulled away. "May! Yes, yes he is. We met in Venice," Y/N whispered, giggling. The two ladies looked at Peter and Quentin, who were struggling to get the luggage into May's car.
"Wait, boys, let us help."
After everything was done, the four of them- May, Peter, Quentin and Y/N- sat in May's car. May drove, Peter sat in the passenger seat and Quentin and Y/N sat behind. "So, um, what's your name?" May asked Quentin. "I'm Quentin, Quentin Beck. You're Peter's mom, I assume?" Quentin replied, a smile on his face. "No, dear, his aunt. May, May Parker. How did the two of you meet?" May asked, glancing at Y/N. "Long story…" she mumbled. "Long drive home," May reminded her. Peter volunteered to explain how he and Y/N met Quentin and then Y/N told her how she started dating him. Quentin was quiet throughout, a small smile on his face. This is it, this is life.
Y/N was his, did he want anything else? Actually… yes, he wanted one more thing. To see the faces of the other Avengers as Y/N introduced him to them. Especially the faces of those who had a crush on her. "So, should I drop the two of you off at the Avengers Tower?" May asked. "Sure! Nat, Steve and Tony are waiting," Y/N nodded. "Good!" They reached the Avengers Tower in the next half an hour. Y/N and Quentin got out, collected their luggage and waved goodbye to May and Peter. "Bye guys! We'll see you tomorrow!" May drove away. Quentin and Y/N looked at each other. Together, the two of them had four bags between them. Quentin took two and Y/N took two. They walked inside.
Tony, Thor, Steve, Natasha, Loki, Bucky, Sam and Wanda were waiting in the lobby. "Y/N!" Steve exclaimed as she walked in. Everyone immediately went silent as Quentin walked in next. "Hello!" Quentin waved enthusiastically. "Uh… Y/N, who's this?" Bucky asked slowly. "Why don't you introduce yourself, baby, I need water," Y/N whispered to him. Quentin nodded and Y/N gave him a quick kiss, leaving to get a glass of water. Natasha and Wanda ran after her. "Y/N! Y/N!" She stopped, turning around to face her best friends. "Hi guys! I missed you!" She hugged the two ladies. "Who's the guy? Your boyfriend?"
"Yes! We met one day in Venice and were an official couple the next day," Y/N gushed, filling up a glass of water. "That was quick. Wouldn't blame you, he's hot," Wanda snorted. "Is he Italian?" Natasha asked. "Nope, American. Long story, come sit." The three ladies sat on the nearby couch and Y/N explained everything about the Elemental to them. Quentin, meanwhile, was being glared at by 6 men. "Did she just call you 'baby'?" Steve asked quietly, his arms crossed. "Well, I mean I'm her boyfriend, it only makes sense…" Quentin chuckled with faux nervousness. "Boyfriend? Y/N's dating you? What's your name?" Sam scoffed.
"I'm Quentin, Quentin Beck," Quentin introduced, holding his hand out for a handshake. When no one took it, he let it fall to his side awkwardly. "How did you meet and when did you start dating?" Tony asked sharply. "Well… Peter introduced me to her one day and we were officially a couple the next day," Quentin said slowly. "One day? It took you one day to woo her? We've been trying for 5 years!" Thor exclaimed, enraged. "Oh, uh… sorry?" Quentin offered, still maintaining the nervous look on his face.
Deep inside, though, he was jumping and screaming with joy. This was the exact thing he wanted to witness. "What did she see in you?" Bucky sneered. "I defeated the Elemental, you know," Quentin pointed out. "What the fuck is an Elemental?" Steve asked, scrunching his nose. "Long story. Here to listen?" The 6 men nodded and Quentin explained everything to them. In the end, they were left staring at him in shock. "Also… if you really like Y/N, you wouldn't be so rude to me. If you were friendly with me, that would make Y/N really happy," Quentin pointed out offhandedly.
"Great point. Alright, goldfish, you're accepted," Tony sighed. Quentin grinned. Oh, how he would love driving the male Avengers up the wall everyday.
"Boys, we're getting dinner, are you joining?"
"Sure!"
The 7 men walked towards the ladies and together, the 10 of them went to the dining room to get dinner.
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A/N: Hi! This is kind of a weird fic, I get it. It is one of my old works, I wrote it like 1 year ago or something. If you do like it, consider leaving a like! It will be much appreciated, thank you!! I love you guys a lot. Please send prompts if you want to read more from me.
#quentin beck x reader#quentin beck x you#quentin beck x y/n#quentin beck x female reader#quentin beck#quentin beck fluff#mysterio#jake gyllenhaal x reader#jake gyllenhaal x you#jake gyllenhaal x y/n#jake gyllenhaal x female reader#jake gyllenhaal characters#disney#mcu#marvel#avengers#fanfic#writing#writeblr
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Jasonette July- Soulmate AU- Part 5
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -
“The fuck"
That was NOT what Chat was expecting to happen. Yeah sure he has never experienced a First Meeting before, but he was certain that they didn't usually go down like this.
Chat really wanted to laugh about how they were in fact, literally going down, but thought it to be funnier if the endangered couple would be actually concious to hear it. That's how he found himself, a cat may I add, diving for two sleeping heroes. It was only thanks to his superstrength, that he could lift the gigantic man of a soulmate back to the surface and heave him over one of the upside down boat benches, hoping for it not to break under his and Ladybugs combined weight. Not that the girls weight was of any significance in that equation, with her currently looking as fragile and weak as a corpse. Usually Adrien would never even think of comparing her to anything but beautiful and gracious. Right then and there though, she did not look delicate and fit, did not seem like her outer appearance was just a bluff meant to hide her true skill and strength. No, the heroine looked completely worn out. Chat was debating over taking her to an akuma-shelter and asking for help. If that’s what she looked like with Tikkis’ protection, what would happen if she were to detransform? Chat made sure she was laying down safely before turning his attention to his other rescuee.
The man next to Ladybug looked much healthier in comparison. Somehow he even seemed familiar. Adrien swam around him, trying to decipher who it was he had just saved. He noticed heavy combat boots, a red hood with cut outs on eye-level, a utility belt and several guns. The man's hair was incredibly dark, the blackness only enhanced by the bright grey patch of hair right above his forehead and the cold water dripping down from it. His eyes were closed, an eyebrow slit by a clean white scar and his lips tugged into a small and serene smile.
Adrien had to admit he was pretty good looking. Apart from that, the Cat was weirdly relieved to find him armed. That meant he was capable of protecting his lady instead of Chat. The boy knew that she was capable of protecting herself but he needed that reassurance. His best friend had to be safe, especially in situations as dire as the one they were currently facing.
A few moments had passed with Adrien deep in thought about what to do next and how to act out their plan in case she didn’t wake up in time. The city was quiet, with everyone hiding in their shelters (or simply dead). The akuma was waiting. Everyone felt it’s presence and no one dared disturb it’s silence . Another quiet before the storm. Only it wasn’t actually quiet, not silent at least. Adrien noticed a tiny voice coming from the sleeping mans ear, firmly demanding attention.
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“Red Hood are you there?”
“Red Hood I’m sending Batman to get you.”
“Red Hood your heart rate is very low, are you asleep?”
“Batman is almost there, hang o-” “What do you mean “Batman”?!”
Tim jumped. Alfred, who was standing next to him and worriedly observing Jasons unmoving red dot on the screen, only blinked in surprise.
“Who are you? What happened to Red Hood?”, Tims voice was firm, but Alfred saw the hidden fear in his posture. Tim loved his brother dearly and was understandably worried about him. The CEO of Wayne Enterprises didn’t like letting his emotions seep into his work, but he really couldn’t help it, It was a scary situation.
“I am Chat Noir, hero of Paris. I am currently protecting Red Hood and Ladybug. Who am I talking to?”
“Red Robin, from Gotham. Batman is coming to help you. Any precautions he should know about?”
Chat told him everything they knew about the akuma and explained their situation. Tim transfered it to Batman who immediatly ordered every member of the family to move to a shelter each. He claimed for it to be necessary so they could protect the civilians in case of an emergency. Everyone knew though, that he was mostly worried about his childrens safety.
“Chat Noir, are you aware of a place near you, where we could place them to let them recover?”
Chat didn’t like his idea. It was disturbing to say the least and made his skin crawl with unease. But it was close, and it has already paid the price for helping them.
“Yes, but we’ll need a distraction.”
“On it.”
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Stephanie didn’t like following orders. Especially not such uneffective orders as Batmans. To explain the following operation, there are a few things you need to know: Her bond to Tim constisted of two parts. For one, there was the literal, string like, red bond connecting their hearts. For the other, she could hear everything he heard, only if he happened to keep the link open, of course.
They needed a distraction and were currently coming up with something loud and ultra visible. Stephanie Browns father was a literal villain, so she knew how to think like one and was fairly certain that neither Hawkmoth nor the akuma would fall for the improvised bullshit Dick and Damian were about to pull off. No, Spoiler did not want to be seen. Aside from scanning the streets for any lost victims, she tried to seek cover in the debris all around them. Steph had a plan. Tim did not approve of it and Batsy hasn’t even heard about it but she honestly just did not give a damn. Stephanie has been handling things on her own for a while now. She was not about to start following orders today, not if she did not agree to their necessity.
Her plan? It was risky, very much so. She could not depend on succeeding, but for once she could allow herself to take the risk without fearing the consequences. If it were to come to the worst case, she could always just hope for the miraculous cure to bring her back to life. Now, when she tried to “not be seen”, that did not apply to the villain they were currently chasing. She had a tracker on herself and was connected to Red Robin but she knew that for once, hiding in plain sight would have worked. “Plain sight” was the akumas weakness. If the Dustybitch were to see her baiting him while walking down the streets, he wouldn’t even spare her a second glance. While she’s “hiding” in it’s dirty habitat though? While she’s pretending to be all alone and vulnerable? If Hawkmoth and the akuma believe that keeping the “tiny blonde girl” hostage could be benefitial and she just walks right into their arms?
It had to work, she had to get closer to the Dirtmonster and gain his attention, even if just for a bit. If she could figure out it’s weakness, get it’s akumatized object to Ladybug or at least inform her about it’s whereabouts while doing so? She’s all for it. They could fix this...no, they would.
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A large flying shadow emerged from between the debris. Bruce somehow wished for a mask similar to Jasons. Red Hoods red hood at least covered his mouth and therefore made it easier to breath in the dust. But even as he came out to the river, he still couldn’t allow himself to breathe freely. His son was asleep on the battlefield, with whom Chat Noir claims to be his soulmate being the cause of his situation. Bruce knew Jason had one, a soulmate that is, but he for sure did not expect them to be a french heroine in a red spotted suit.
“Red Robin, is the distraction ready?”
“She... Yes. Wait for my signal.”
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Tim was so, so done. The “game” he had formerly enjoyed in his overcaffeinated state, has just taken an unpleasant turn. “Why are you so stubborn? Your plan is foolish, you will die!” “No I won’t.” “Stephanie! Plea-” “Just make sure I don’t sacrifice myself in vain, will you? I am doing the right thing. I can feel it. Trust me.” “It already is in vain! There are other options-”
“I love you.”
And with that she stepped into the abandoned ruin of a building, eyes wide and innocent, voice loud and echoing, calling for Ladybug and Chat Noir. She knew they were on the other end of Paris, the akuma did too. But damn, Hawkmoth could not pass out on such an opportunity. A weak hero as a hostage?
“Let’s end this battle for good.”
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Tim was listening in horror. His hand was trembling and even Alfred throwing a blanket over his shoulders did not help. That didn’t stop him from doing his job, though.
He heard the akuma by using Stephanies ears, recognizing him even before she did.
“Now.”
With that, Batman jumped onto the boats, running towards the one he noticed moving, not knowing that his daughters life was depending solely on his success.
A second message went out to Chat Noir. Upon hearing it he grabbed the sleeping beauties and tugged them under water. There he positioned them on his shoulders and used his hands to hold on to his baton so he could use it as a jumpstarter. It expanded both up- and downwards, hitting the ground and catapulting the trio out of the water. While in the air, Chat caught side of the big bat, who was kind of comically standing on a red-spotted boat. “Catch!” he called while locking eyes with him and dropping Ladybug in his arms. Adrien knew that giving him the man was not an option, no matter how strong Batman was. The Cat knew it’s physics and could not trust the vigilante to withstand the impact of catching a body of the same mass as his own, while literally standing on water, without toppling over.
Instead of toppling over from the weight of his son, Bruce caught the petite girl, followed the flying cat back to the shore and into one of the destroyed buildings, a former bakery, it seemed.
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Meanwhile, Stephanie was standing in a cloud of dust, caughing and trying to cover her eyes to stop the dirt from blinding her. She had expected the akuma to attack, but did not think he’d drop to such low methods. He didn’t give her a chance of fighting back, did not face her. Instead he started another earthquake right beneath her feet, just weakened her to near suffocation.
Tim, with his one hand on his soulmatebond and his eyes on the rescuing mission, listened as the villain grabbed her. “Red, there’s a violet light, he’s still connected”, his soulmate whispered. After that she went completely silent, having finally given in to the akumas torture and lost conciousness.
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Chat really wanted to close his eyes. Even more so, he really did not want to be in the room of his recently deceased friend Marinette, especially after having been the cause of her and her parents death. They were upstairs when it happened, right where the dustsnakes attack was the most powerful. ‘All because of me’, Adrien thought, ‘all because I called for them from above. I shouldn’t have let them come up the stairs, I should have joined them down in their basement.’
That’s where they were in that moment. In the Dupain-Cheng-Bakeries’ basement. It was a dark, dry and surprisingly clean place. It’s walls were covered in shelves full of cheese, wine and flour, with the middle kept empty. The empty space was being used by four sleepingbags and several full bottles of water laying on the floor. They were probably meant for each one of the family members and a possible plus one. Marinettes soulmate, maybe? One of the sleeping bags was surprisingly big, though it did make sense if you knew about Tom Dupains size. Chat reluctantly placed the man from his shoulder into the sleeping bag, which turned out to be far more difficult than he had expected it to be.
While he was at it, Batman managed to place Ladybug into the one next to his son, and contact Red Robin for an update. Chat detransformed, completely disregarding the fact that his identity was no longer secret and let Plagg fly off to recharge on the endless supply of cheese. Adrien himself chugged down a bottle of water and crawled into the fourth sleeping bag, smelling Marinettes home, curling up into a ball and silently crying himself into an exhausted sleep.
Bruce, who was for once thankful to be the only concious person in the room, slid down the door he had previously barricaded, not holding back his tears. Tim had just told him about Stephanies sacrifice. Sure, she wasn’t dead yet, but she might as well be. Bruce was so tired of loosing his Robins, so tired of losing his family. He couldn’t be tired now, though. He had people to protect and lives to safe. Currently that meant staying in this basement and keeping an eye on those broken heroes.
Chat Noir was laying there in front of him and Bruce was afraid. Afraid for him, afraid of the past he had to live through and afraid of what the future held for him. He was 17, maybe 18. So young, too young to carry such a burden. Bruce Wayne did not understand how two single heroes have managed to deal with this on their own. He knew he that if he were in their place, he would have succumbed to it a long time ago. Though who said they haven’t lost to it aswell?
They really did look broken, Ladybug especially. Bruce noticed her and Jason shivering in unison. Slowly he stood up and walked over to them, carefully lifting the girl and placing her in Jasons much to wide sleeping bag. They immediatly stopped shivering, laying there with the Red Lady safe and secure in Red Hoods arms. He even proceeded to hug her closer, with a smile gracing both their lips.
“Welcome to the family”, Bruce whispered. She was going to fit right in.
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Marinette was in a tower, standing in front of a gigantic panorama window. The city in front of her was all black and blue, shining, illuminating the dark as if it were full of aquamarine stars. But no stars were visible. “How sad”, she thought to herself. “All that sky, all those people, all these lights. But no one sees their home.”
“We build our own home, here on earth.”, a voice behind her made it’s appearance. She wasn’t surprised. He should be here, in her dimension, her world. It felt right. “How could we build a new home with our ancestry staring us down?”, she asked looking down at the city beneath their feet. The cloud they were standing on felt like a cold shower, light and unbinding, but firm.
“Those are my favourite clouds”
“Cumulonimbus?”
“The mightiest of them all.”
Jason looked up at the stars. “Do you fear them?”
“I use their power.”
Black and blue filled his vision. Her soft skin was white as marble, with bruises forming colorful paintings of history, present, past and future.
She stood next to a little boy, looking up at him. Her summerdress was so very pink, his hands were so very red, the wheels of the Batmobil were so very black. He lifted the wheel into the air and began soundlessly rolling it away. A black figure illuminated by blue light was watching him. “Hey! What are you looking at, weirdo?”, her tiny voice spoke, filling the air like thunder. Metall flashed behind the tall figures head, hitting and breaking him. He dissolved into bits and pieces of stone, onyx and sapphire glistening in the dark. The boy took her hand and they ran, giggles and huffs filling the silent streets.
Jason sat with his eyes closed and his back leaning on Marinettes. She was leaning on his back, too. Each others weight was crushing their partner. “They aren’t staring at you.” “Our ancestors?” “They are staring at the ones who tried to hurt you.” Their weight found a balance, he was holding her heart in his hands, lifting her off the ground she was afraid of sinking in.
Eyes opened, sapphire blue met aquamarine cyan.
“The stars never left.”
Black and Blue and White.
Bruises and Scars.
Silk hair, Vibrant eyes and Shining hope.
Black. Sleep. Night.
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Jason awoke in the middle of the night. He felt weirdly serene, comfortable. He needed a moment to remember where he was. The memories were coming back slowly, his mind took it’s time emerging from the fog it has been swimming in. The sound of two voices talking next to him startled him, reminding him of every danger he had endured in the past 24 hours. His senses sharpened, he suddenly recognized that the body laying next to him was not his own. It felt weird, he could sense everything she was sensing, after all. Jasons breathing was unusually calm, her breath was a bit too fast for someone who was in deep sleep. They were completly synced. He should be feeling creeped out, like his personal space was being invaded. Jason didn’t though. He liked it. It felt... safe.
The voices, one of which he now recognized as his fathers, while the other was unusually high, startled him out of his thoughts. Wanting to find the source of the second voice, he reluctantly let the girl next to him go, though they never really lost contact. He sat up, immediatly sensing the seperation and already regretting his decision. She didn’t move in the slightest, as he stood up and walked over to the man who sat there with his back foolishly turned towards the sleeping heroes. Jason didn’t silent his steps, wanting Bruce to hear him. He could’ve used the moment to mess with him, but he didn’t want to wake the parisians behind him, so he painfully discarded the urge. The high voice stopped in it’s speech. Jason still couldn’t see where it was coming from, but Bruce was calm so he trusted it to be safe. His father turned his head, looking up at his son from his seating position, before standing up and pulling him into a firm embrace. Jason was not at all used to physical contact from his father so hee stiffened for a few moments, but when the young adult realised that the man was not about to let go, he relaxed and returned the hug. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”, he heard the gruff Batman voice, though he was quite certain it wasn’t intentional, probably just a result of stress and exhaustion.
“Yes, I’m good. What about you?”
He knew he wasn’t, he could tell just by looking at the unmasked face with those deep bags under his eyes. This man needed some rest.
“Ah, I guess I’m getting old. Time to retire soon, don’t you think?”
A chuckle escaped Jasons throat. Yeah, maybe he should retire too.
“I won’t be able to stay much longer. I need to get back to the team and follow Barbaras traces. She said that Hawkmoth has to be someone from the upper class, since they are the only ones who aren’t hiding in the shelters. And with Spoilers and Reds inside-information we-” “Wait, hold on. How did they get inside?”
Bruce winced. It was a ridiculously miniscule movement, but Jason still noticed. He waited for the other man to tell him in his own pace. Such patience was unusual for the Red Hood, but he saw how it comforted the older man so he was grateful for his new personality trait. It wasn’t patience per se, he’d rather call it empathy. Something he has almost forgotten since his resurrection in the Lazarus Pits.
“Spoiler she... she offered herself as a distraction so we could get you, Ladybug and Chat Noir to safety. She... baited the akuma and is now being held hostage. Tim can hear what the akuma is doing, now that Stephanie is back to conciousness and keeping us updated.” Batman voice was even, which either meant he was collected or he was in rage. Jason bet it was the second option.
Instead of adressing it though, Red Hood just nodded. He was worried for Stephanie and sorry for Tim, but unlike his father he wasn’t mad. He knew that if he were in her place, he would’ve done the same.
Speaking of the devil, Tim chose that very moment to contact the both of them: “Hood! Glad to see you’re awake, please go back to sleep. Batsy, Orakel is waiting for you. She has coffee, so rise and shine and good luck! I’ve sent you your route. Check those mansions and make sure to download the local roomplans, I’m certain some of them have hidden rooms and dungeons full of dragons they haven’t mentioned in their tax-reports.”
“Red, when was the last time you slept?”
“What, you want me to go to bed? Let Alfred handle the situation? I mean he can do that but who will take care of your fucking Wayne Enterprises while he’s keeping y’all company? Fucking Catwoman? Harley?? The Joker?!? No? Now get your ass up and drink your coffee, we’ve got work to do.”
With that the line went silent.
Bruce let out a huff, glancing at Jason and the parisian duo.
“He’s right you know, go back to sleep. Ladybug needs your strength just as much as you need hers. Tikki here, promised to keep an eye on you and wake you in case of an emergency.” Before Jason could even ask who he was talking about he noticed a tiny red creature float up from behind his back, munching on a cookie twice her size. They were peering into his very soul with eyes way to terrifying for someone of their mass. The man couldn’t help but compare them to Damian, though the boys deathglare wasn’t even coming close to the sheer power of the creatures gaze.
Suddenly a second, similar creature joined the first ones side. Jason vaguely recognized it looking slightly catlike, which led to the information he was currently bombarded with finally making sense: “You are Ladybugs and Chat Noirs metas.”, he stated, recognition clear in his voice.
“Kwamis, actually, but yes, c’est nous.”, answered the cat-creature, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Plagg, I am the God of Chaos and Destruction and this-” he lifted his tiny, finlike limb in the direction of the ladybug-themed Kwami, “-is Tikki, the Godess of Luck and Creation.”
Jason nodded, for whatever reason not feeling surprised, feeling just like Marinette did whenever she picked up a new book and already new it’s contents. Their partner has already implanted the information into the other ones head, all that was left was to refreshen it. “My name is Jason Todd. I am a vigilante from Gotham. I work under the name of Red Hood. We came to help you deal with Hawkmoth, though I’m sure Batman has already told you as much.”, speaking of his boss he turned to look at him. The men wordlessly bid their good-byes. A “please be careful”, was hanging in the air for both to hear. No need for voicing it. As Batman was leaving, Jason turned his gaze back to the two flying creatures in front him. His gaze landed on Tikki specifically. “I’m also sure you already know that as well, but I am Ladybugs soulmate.”
This was the first time he said it out loud. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, letting himself feel the impact of those words. It felt like... vulnerability. But as he opened his eyes again and met the azure eyes of the godess, that feeling shifted into something different. Something better. He felt empowered.
A moment passed, a connection between the two was forming and no-one dared complain (apart from Plagg, who was quietly grumbling about being left out.) Then, the godess’ demeanor changed completely, a smile now visible and a softness Jason wouldn’t have thought were possible redesigning her whole appearance. She flew up to him and, much to Jasons surprise, softly landed in his hair. “I approve.”
Jason let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Now go back to sleep, my chosen is still unstable and you have to help her get back on track. Go, go!”
The man did not dare argue, didn’t even want to, really. So he just made sure the door was properly barricaded, gulped down a bottle of water and layed down next to his soulmate. She immediatly nuzzled herself closer into his embrace, a smile now gracing their lips, again.
“I could get used to that...”, Jason thought as he drifted back off to sleep.
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The other vigilantes had spent their nights in the shelters and were ready to go out the next day, on their way to handling more damage control.
The last earthquake has moved the debris a bit, but it hasn’t destroyed any new buildings. The city now consisted of ruins, with only the Eiffeltower, the lower levels of “Le Grand Paris” and a few high security mansions still standing. Only a few of the rich houses, who’s owners could afford the most secure stability precautions for earthquakes the world had to offer, were offering to share with the refugees who had lost their homes. Adrien was ashamed to see that his fathers home did not belong to the chosen few.
One way or another, Chat Noir was about to find out. Having waken up before the others, he decided to use the little time before the realization of Ladybugs plan to make sure there was enough space for every surviver, which mostly meant breaking and entering into the homes of the rich, if they didn’t open the gates after his first time asking. His fathers home he had saved for the end, not certain what to expect and definetly not wanting to deal with possible emotional effects. Adrien didn’t actually know what he was hoping for: for his father to be dead, which would explain that “decision” or for him to be alive and well, which would simply mean that his family was safe and sound.
“I’m coming home...coming home, tell the world I’m coming home...”, his quiet voice echoed through the derserted streets of the City he once loved so dearly.
No tune and not a single lullaby could have prepared him for what he was about to find.
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Hey!
So todays chapter is literaly twice as long as the last one, but I could not divide it into two seperate chapters because of the Jasonette percentage the chapter legally has to fullfill. Writing my world down took so long but it was so fun and now i have the build up I wanted “on paper” so I am mostly happy with the outcome. I honestly feared their relationship would be moving too fast but I guess my real life commitment issues did the trick, so HERE WE GOoooo...
Talking about commitment: THANK YOU DEAR MESSAGE LEAVERS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH if it weren’t for you, I probably would have given in to my doubts and stopped writing. You know, fun anxiety stuff. But you make my anxietini evaporini and I (as always) just can’t stress enough how much it means to me.
Also, my taglist has grown! Your existance fills my heart with joy. If you want to be added to that fabulous group of names you are about to read, feel free to message me in any way. I’ll be happy to add you to the circle of the constantly updated \o/
(Also if you want to be removed from the list, please don’t be afraid to ask me, I will not bite and I pinky promise not to cry~ )
Tag List ^^:
@maribat-is-lifeblood @lokilex @amayakans @readingismyoxygen @zalladane @sunspritethedestroyer @toodaloo-kangaroo @purplesundaze @yeet-this-bitch @ratherbereading125
Thanks for reading ^^
#jasonette#jasonette july#jasonette soulmate au#jason todd#jason todd x marinette dupain-cheng#maribat#maribat fanfic#marinette dupain-cheng#batfam#batman#stephanie brown#tim drake#soulmate au#soulmate bruises au#ml angst#ml ladybug#smart akuma#ml salt#if you are reading this i hope you feel loved and know your worth#if not message me i will listen and i want to cheer you up
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The Grinch Girl
Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Klaw Craig)
Warning: Nope only fluff content and bits of sadness.
Word count: ~2.3 k
A.N: Hello again folks! Did you miss me? Well this fic came out unexpectedly and wasn’t even planned lol. But I hope you enjoy this and Merry Christmas! And I know you’re impatiently waiting for Part 6 of my OH AU 1 but still is in progress. THIS IS MY FIRST STAND-ALONE FIC EVER OMG AND I’M REALLY NERVOUSSSS.
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Basically from all of the staff of Edenbrook Hospital there was a certain someone who didn't like Christmas as everyone else- Dr. Klaudia Craig. This wasn't something new for everyone because they knew she detested it.
She was occupying herself with lots of different cases in order to escape from the festive moments and the cheering voices of her colleagues ready to decorate the Infamous Christmas Tree.
At least that's what she thought.
She wasn't into the winter holidays or any kind of other holidays. Maybe she was a Grinch but as much as she had information about him it was completely another history- he hated people but not Christmas. Whereas she hated both of them.
Klaw didn't have any particular reason to be angry with anyone but she couldn't bare the fact to be involved in such kind of parties. Lousy and noisy people were always a migraine for her and would drink two strong pills in a day at least saving from that horrible sinusitis.
Her free times would always consist of reading books or scientific researches on internet for new developments in oncology surgery as she was eager to see the latest news. Furthermore she would watch BBC every time when the British Government released new announcements about the future of the country whom she dearly missed it. Maybe for others it was such a granny thing but for her was the best cure.
And as for today she was stepping into the corridors seeing the nurses chirping and decorating the railways and doors in which she let an exasperated sigh while shaking her head.
Why do they like them so much? It's completely nonsense. All of that glitter. Everyone seems so happy but I'm sure this is a façade.
Well clearly from her point of view it was maybe a façade but actually everyone was happy and was enjoying at its fullest. And that's why she hated it.
She never got to celebrate any holidays with her family as they have been always busy in their works and didn't pay too much attention on how this would reflect on their daughter's character in the future. They would always justify their lateness in house because of the "duty". God she thought that word would never get out of her mind.
When one of her patients asked her to do the Gingerbread House together she stared blankly as she had no idea what was this thing and she immediately regretted her lie to the kid.
Oh yeah of course I'll help you but until i finish my shift alright?
The little girl was smart and understood that she wasn't telling the truth and aside from that she could tell that the doctor standing opposite her wasn't even pleased about it and she let a mischievous smirk.
"You don't know what Gingerbread is, don't you?"
The doctor gulped hardly as ever. The patient saw her hesitation and asked sincerely.
"Don't worry I'll ask someone else but can I ask you why don't you know about the Gingerbread?"
"Mary, I think you need to rest now after your long surgery, right?"
"Got it doc."
With that she trailed off furiously as she didn't want to awake again that memory.
She hated herself.
She didn't want to be like this.
Harsh.
Cold demeanor.
Selfish.
And afraid to be happy.
When she went to the elevator she heard Sienna calling from behind.
“Hey Klaw!"
Oh god please don’t tell me she’s going to invite me to that party.
"Hi Sienna, how you've been?"
"Perfect! May I say everything is going to be awesome and I can't wait to celebrate with all of us in our apartment! You'll come too, right?"
God she wanted so bad to celebrate. But her logical answer was always ahead of what heart truly wanted. You can say without fear that she was an introverted ass.
"Uhm actually I won't."
Sienna's smile immediately faltered and shook her head in confusion. "Why?” Before Klaw could explain herself she abruptly said “Look If you're worried about those scumbag surgical residents, don't worry we won't invite them. And also-"
"Sienna it's not about them. It's just..."
"Just what?"
I don't celebrate Christmas Eve and I don’t have any intention to because I just simply hate it.
“It’s about patients Si and we have lot of work to do especially Dr. Ramsey won’t let me to finish the shift that easy so I’m leaving-”
“Not so fast gorgeous." a sing-along voice stopped her. "Where do you think you're going?"
"Oh, Bryce." She put a plastered smile while laughing nervously. As always. "Uhm, well I have to go to a patient now heh."
"Tsk. I don’t believe any single thing what you’re saying girlie.”
She wanted to seem so believable but this time was out of her luck. Before she would protest again he interrupted.
"Come on Klaw. We already know you've been working your ass since five in the morning and you haven't even eaten anything today needless to say- you haven't even wished us for Christmas."
"Oh really?" He nodded "Well- Merry Christmas Bryce!"
He frowned in confusion and was crooking his eyes in suspicion as she sounded differently from usual. Something was wrong and he was about to ask her again when he heard that annoying voice.
"Rookie!" Klaw's eyes widened but in the meantime she thanked him in silence for saving her.
"In my office."
"Yes Dr. Ramsey."
With that she excused herself to Sienna and Bryce who stayed mouth agape and Sienna was finally the one to break the silence.
"So...Plan A and B are ruined right?"
"Yeah" he slid from his pocket the phone in which he called a number. "Jackie." He let a defeated sigh. "Tell the others we need a plan C. That old man Ramsey destroyed everything."
--------------
When the elevator reached the 3rd floor Ethan guided Klaw to his office gently pushing the door for her to enter first. They made an arrangement before she started her residency- to remain professional but her gut feeling told that something not good was about to happen.
What was weird was the fact that the lights of his office weren't turned on but only those of his little Christmas Tree. She rolled her eyes annoyingly.
Great. Now I have to deal with another Christmas enthusiast.
He saw her expression and when she turned as if questioning, he gave her a rueful smile. "Please sit."
She did as he said raising her left eyebrow. "So? What is the reason you called me?"
"Simple. I want to find a treatment for a patient whose brain is not functioning as usual." He said ironically which she didn't get it.
"What are her symptoms?"
Even though it was not an usual question he would ask as every time- she was ready to show her high diagnostics knowledge despite being a surgeon.
"It's a difficult case and a rare one. I'm not sure if you're going to handle it."
"There's nothing I can't handle Dr. Ramsey." She said while raising her head in confidence. "Remember what you said to me in my intern year? When there isn't a path, you make your own."
"Fair well. This girl is about 5 years old and she doesn't celebrate Christmas because she hates it. What do you think we should do?"
"What? I don't-" Then it all clicked.
It was about her.
"You too?" She scoffed in disbelief while standing up "I really can't believe this!"
When she was reaching the door handle a strong grip on her waist held her in place and growled in her left ear that made her shivered. "You're not going anywhere!"
"What happened with being professional Dr. Ramsey huh?"
He shut his eyes and inhaled sharply. "Please. Tell me what's wrong. I know that you're worried about something."
"You don't deserve to know anything!" With that she kicked his crotch with her left knee letting herself free from him. That self-defense instinct she had- it was going to be the death of him one day.
"And you don't tell me what should I do!"
"Is that so Dr. Craig? Remember that I'm your boss."
"Ouch. So scary. What are you going to do then? Pin me to the wall?" She let out a weary chuckle "Remember Ramsey- I'm not going to play hot and cold game again with you because I've had enough! And don't even try to do the victim's face here 'cause you know that it's your fault that we're in this position now!"
She was the most infuriating woman he had ever met in his life and maybe this was the reason why he wanted her so badly. Her gorgeous face etched to his mind every night before sleep. When she was always angry she looked like a goddess to him no matter how and he would bow down just for her. One word or only one action from her and he was her slave.
"What happened Dr. Ramsey? Cat got your tongue?" said in a sing-along voice and when he didn't answer she wanted to use the opportunity to leave but his eyes were trailing her full parted lips.
No. No. No. Don't let him kiss you Klaw. Just don't.
But his actions were faster than she thought and her fear came to life. He kissed her such gently that made her cheeks blush enough to stop arguing. When they parted Ethan set both of his hands to her face trailing her cheekbones and temples saying in a soothing voice.
"Now, will you tell me what is going on with your cold behaviour?"
She nodded forgetting everything in what they agreed on. Maybe she would regret it later but it seemed that she didn't care for now.
---------
"So that's why I hate it. I mean I don't want to hate Christmas. It's just I don't want to leave the impression to the others that I hate holidays. I don't want to look like Grinch but still...Ughh I don't know.” she placed her palms in her temples. “I feel such in shame now like I don't even know what Gingerbread is!"
"Why haven't you searched on the internet before?"
"Well this is the case. I've never shown interest in it. The only thing that I would search were always something about science in general and projects for school. And I've never received Christmas gifts before which makes me well-" the last words she said almost in a whisper. "- not appreciated person."
Ethan could see himself in her somehow. After his mother left he didn't want to celebrate Christmas anymore as that day was one of the worst of his life. But his father Alan insisted that his son should see his future and letting that pain to go by every year celebrating and reminding him to be a strong man just like now. Whereas for Klaw he felt his jaw clenched in frustration when her parents now that they weren’t anymore never celebrated and not even letting her to go at least at her best friend's house.
"Do you think I'm a Grinch Girl, Ethan?"
When she called him in his first name he felt his chest warming as she was slowly becoming more openly to him.
"No." He said without hesitation. "It's clearly that you were raised like this and you should not blame yourself for that. You're not the only one who doesn't celebrate Christmas Eve. There are many people who don't even know what Christmas is so-" he put a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. "No, you're not a Grinch but...A grumpy one may I- agh!" he winced when she pinched his arm then smacked it furiously.
"That hurt."
"You deserved that."
"Seriously? I'm trying to understand you whereas-" she cut him off guard with another kiss but on his cheeks instead.
"Thank you. For always being nice to me."
"Hey, you know I would do everything for you?"
"Yeah, I know. But what am I going to do now?"
"First things first" he stood up from the couch where they were staying "You're going to say to everyone who you meet the magic words: 'Merry Christmas!'"
He chuckled when she let a groan. "And then you're going to pick some gifts in the shop for your friends because this is the value of this holiday- sharing is caring. And about gifts-"
He went to his drawer of his white wooden-metallic desk to reveal an object packed in a rectangular shape with a white strap.
"Wait is that-?"
"Yes it's for you". She stared at him. "Open it."
She took it hesitating at first because this was the first gift ever someone made especially for her and was fidgeting her fingers not knowing where to start because she didn't want to ruin the way how beautifully it was packed.
When she let go of the strap she gasped when there was an old book of Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Grey and there were two milk chocolates Fin Carré which was her favourite flavour and a little card were was written:
I'm sorry for being an asshole.
Merry Christmas Rookie!
E.R
"So...uhm do you like it?" He scratched the back of his neck nervously. " I know you're a bookworm and I remembered that Oscar Wilde was the only Irish author whom you didn't read so I went to the National Library and asked if there was still an old copy of it and luckily it was the last one."
She immediately left the gift in his couch and pressed a lingering kiss on his lips and said in a whisper while tearing up "Merry Christmas Ethan. And I'm sorry too for being grumpy and harsh to you."
"You don't have to apologise to me. Your friends and your patient Mary need to hear this. Okay?"
"Okay. Seni seviyorum. [ I love you ] “
“Uhm what?”
She giggled “I’ll tell you when the year ends.”
“But-”
“A girl has to keep some secrets, right?” said when she opened the door and left contently with it.
For the first time in her life Dr. Klaudia Craig felt a radiation coming through her body.
She was happy and grateful.
P.S: The words ‘seni seviyorum’ come from Turkish language. And no- my MC is not Turkish but British lol. She is a polyglot that’s why.
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#open heart choices#open heart fan fiction#open heart fan fic#ethan ramsey#klaw craig#ethan ramsey x mc#klaw x ethan#my writing
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