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autismmydearwatson · 2 years

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Autism Headcanons

I really like headcanoning characters as autistic, because often autistic people written by nt people are stereotypes (with the exception of Sherlock holmes) so seeing characters who unintentionally relatable to autistics is so important! I have a lot of reasons why I hc Walt Strickler and Newt Scamander as autistic, but maybe I'm just projecting. But look at the concepts! (Some of these may be Canon. Shh let me infodump)

Edward (Edward Scissorhands): Isolated man-made sweetheart with scissors for hands who is incredibly gentle but doesn't understand Society™️. He moves robotically, is mainly nonverbal, doesnt understand common social rules, such as the "if you found a briefcase full of money, what would you do?" Since Autistic people like me need very good reasons to follow rules, and Edward doesnt understand how giving your loved ones found money is "wrong". He uses his "disability" to channel his creativity in his gardening, hedge-trimming, and haircutting. But he was willing to give it all up just to fit in! I have seen many emotional movies, but this is truly the only one thst made me sob out loud, because of how much i could relate. Hes ME. also Tim Burton himself is at least speculated to be on the spectrum, and many see the movie as a whole as an allegory for autism. This doesnt mean that i believe the scissors THEMSELVES are a symbol for autism, because even if edward didnt have them he still exhibits very autistic traits.

Sherlock Holmes: genius detective who's neutral good, physically fights pedos, drinks respect women juice, gay-asexual, and does Crack in his spare time. At the time, nobody knew what autism was! But sherlock is so clearly autism-coded its hard to ignore. Im talking about every adaptation Ever. My first exposure to Sherlock Holmes was the BBC series (granted, i know its not necessarily the most well-written adaptation, but listen) and i was SHOOK at how autistic he was. Even in the novels hes percieved as keeping his things cluttered, but he has a purpose in his clutter, and organizes his thoughts. He goes off on tangents before going back to his original point. Basil of Baker Street, basically Sherlock Holmes in Disneys the Great Mouse Detective, VISIBLY STIMS ONSCREEN. anyway nobody needed convincing on that one but yeah.

Newt Scamander (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them): kind, soft wizard who keeps magical creatures in a briefcase. He's soft-spoken, drops eye-content mid conversation, and PURSUES A LIFE OF CONSERVING MAGICAL CREATURES. HES THE ONLY ONE OF HIS PROFESSION IN THE WORLD. ITS ALL RIGHT THERE.

Fiver (Watership Down): a runty, anxious rabbit with the power of prophecy. the theory of Fiver being autistic isnt originally mine (look through my reblogs) but i fully accept it. Now, its debatable whether autism is a Thing among animals or if it presents itself another way, but then again this is fiction. Where to begin with Fiver? Hes based off the Greek Myth of Cassandra, who was blessed with divination but cursed to never be believed. Growing Up With Autism. I cant explain it but you Autistic readers will understand. And simply look at his character!

Erik Destler (the Phantom of the Opera, Phantom): disfigured savant, expert illusionist, lives in the basement of an opera house. In Phantom by Susan Kay he's portrayed as a savant, and while not all savants are born that way, one out of ten autistics are also autistic savant. His hyperfixation on the macabre, his immense creative drive, its all there knock yourselves out.

Walt Strickler: a devious shapeshifting idiot with genius energy, who drops sick dad jokes, huge history nerd, a minority in his own country while at the same time belonging to no country. This might be just me projecting but I thought it was genius. There's also the widely accepted history theory that the Changeling Myth was based off early perceptions of Autism, and whether this suggests that all the Changelings in ToA are autistic is, I believe, false, since in Trollhunters, changelings are made, but autists are Born, not Made. But Strickler is by far my favorite to fixate on! He's such a good concept as an autistic character because he doesn't fall into the stereotypes that intentionally-written autists do. He's sassy, sarcastic, and is simply UNBEARABLE with puns. I view his Villainous Actions™️ of clicking the pen and sitting on tables as stimming or autistic habits, and his odd collection of books. Despite him not being human himself, he has a WILD fascination with human history and culture, which is a better hyperfixation for an autistic character than He Likes Trains and Math. Strickler also has the general Vibe of someone who's constantly holding back from going completely Feral and Rabid. Absolute autism energy

Wow sorry for the dump. Maybe I'm just desperate for real representation ahaha. I'll make an ADHD list soon, with the help of my ADHD expert friend, so if any are missing here, they may be there

#Autism #Autism headcanons #Edward Scissorhands #Sherlock Holmes #Newt Scamander #Fiver #Hrairoo #Watership Down #Walter Strickler #Trollhunters #Let me know if I missed any #Erik Destler #The Phantom of the Opera #Susan Kay

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dejjablu · 11 months

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Hi! I’m a-random-nerd, you can call me Star if you want. Saw you reblogged that post about wanting more asks so that’s what this is :)

I followed you for lotr stuff, and I was wondering what you think about the differences between the book and movie versions of the Hobbit?

I personally have only read the book (multiple times) and I’m planning on watching the movies, but from what I’ve seen (in posts) they added in a fair bit of characterization of their own for the dwarves and especially Thorin. Does that line up with your experience or do you think the movies stay pretty true to the book character-wise?

I’m free to talk about lotr and especially the Hobbit anytime if that’s soemthing you would also like :) hope you’re having a good day!

hii Star!! im so happy you decided to send an ask, it brings me so much joy!

and oh gosh.. i could talk about this topic for HOURS. if i honestly had the talent to formulate my thoughts into a whole video essay i would... but i shall do my best!

so i have seen both the movies and read the book (am rereading and reading in my native language) and i think i truly love them equally! they have a special place in my heart now ever since i randomly decided to rewatch the movies a couple of years ago now.

there is of course a lot of controversy surrounding the hobbit trilogy which i think is not quite fair compaired to the lotr trilogy. again am no expert in storytelling or filmmaking for that matter but as a simple fan and viewer i too can judge of what i like about the adaptations. and you are correct! they put a lot of characterization for the dwarves to make them into more like their own individuals and have personality. they are all so lovable and they did a really great job with them.. and especially getting thorin's story and presence across very well. from hearing the stories and thoughts from the cast of the dwarves especially, you can feel how dedicated they were to the job of bringing their characters and this story to life.

now the big controversy and difference of these films being the changes in the story, adding in characters that were not there originally and pre-production being a bit of a mess with warner bros. some major differences in desolation of smaug the most i think... that legolas is there, theres a love story between tauriel and kíli, some differences with bilbo's encounter with smaug, also the more emphasis of the arkenstone. now i know its also controversal of all the cgi in the film compared to the lotr trilogy but honestly, it was in an era when cgi was the big thing to have in movies in the 2010's i believe. it does not excuse from being a bit too much cgi when there could of been some practial stuff instead maybe.

but the films for what they are i think are really fun and entertaining and i wont pretend they are...to me they are really good in their own way as a tolkien book adaptation. so my biggest problem with the controversy being people who claim all the problems with the hobbit dont hold the same towards the lotr trilogy, that i mean with story changes that would deem it "not a faithful adaptaion", to me lotr trilogy is not really a faithful adaptation if you look at it literally, its really good because its made well in its own way the best they thought they could make it... but does not mean its perfect. the hobbit isnt perfect either, but again, its really good for what they managed to make from interpreting the original book. there as also another thing of that the hobbit didnt need to be a trilogy but honestly, being the massive nerd i am, i want that.. give me more.

now i could talk about thorin FOR DAYS even but to summarise for those who have to read all of this. i love how they made thorin in the movies.. a little different maybe how he is in he book, the thing about making him about middle-aged instead hasnt bothered me. the actor, richard armitage who has quickly become a favourite of mine, put a lot of dedication to his role as thorin from having a personal connection to the book and it just warms my heart seeing that love and care for it, from the whole main cast really.. i love them dearly. i saw the movies when they came out in theatre when i was a pre-teen and i was blown away from seeing it.. and years later when i found my way back again and reading the book as well, can't do anyhing but love it. it is not a faithful book-to-film adaptation but i think its really great, its linear and as the original plot points.. if you just want a fun watch i believe the movies are great, if you ever want to discuss if you end up seeing the movies, dont hesitate to come around again!

im sorry if i strayed too much from main question and ive tried to summarise the best i can.. i shall add on if i remember more things i could bring up! hope this was something to read at least! <33

#ask #oh boy this is a long one...#went a little off and i think i will add on of like actually going into detail with the story and not production of the film..#i cant write essays-#but im so so happy for your ask.. it truly makes my day because i love talking about the hobbit #thank you for reading <33

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blanket-fish · 3 months

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Ironman 2 rewatch time:

- I usually skip this one on rewatches so like. I barely remember the plot.

- oooooh this is the one with the lightning guy (not Thor)

- oh so his dad worked on the reactor with Howard? Sick

- wait is this the one with Justin hammer?

- 'Please, it's not about me' if it were anyone else the ego would be annoying. However, it's not.

- oh I've just remembered this is the one with Natasha

- 'Let the record show I observed Mr hammer entering the chamber, and am wondering if and when any actual expert will be in attendance' Brutal.

- 'God bless Ironman god bless america' He's so lame.

- 'Rhodey? What?' oof.

- 'You do understand that reading a single paragraph out of context doesn't reflect the summary-' love this guy.

- ah this scene has it all. Justin being incompetent. Tony trolling everyone else and hacking the screens. Rhodey pretending to be annoyed but finding it endearing. Tony swinging people to his side and making Justin look bad at the same time. Efficiency.

- 'You want my property? You can't have it. But I did you a big favour! I have successfully privatised world peace.'

'fuck you Mr stark'

- 'I'm trying to make you CEO. Why won't you let me?' maybe because you're incapable of clearly communicating idk

- 'Its you. It's always been you' Im totally normal about these two I swear

- NATASHA

- oh god Elon musk is in this movie

- 'What is the difference between hold and cancelled?' Yes, what is?' these two are too powerful of a combination I fear

- 'I was hoping the present something at your expo.' 'Well, if you invent something that works I'll make sure to get you a spot.' tony please he's already dead

- 'I love tony stark, I mean, we're not competitors' Justin! I have good news! You're actually right about that one.

It's just. Not for the reason you think.

- The iron man suitcase is still the coolest version actually

- Here comes Pepper and happy driving recklessly towards a guy with lightning whips. I fucking love them

- 'Were you headed for me or him?' 'I was trying to scare him-' 'Because I can't tell!'

- 'Are you put of your mind?!!!! Get in the car!'

- These three are an underrated trio honestly

- SUITCASE SUIT. SUITCASE SUIT.

- Not to beat a dead horse but it all mechanically clicking into place is so much cooler than nanotech.

- Guy got hit with a car at speed. Was fine. Got hit with a car several more times. Was fine. Tony flings him to the floor. Coughs up blood. ???

- 'All I have to do is sit here and watch, and the world will consume you.' damn that goes hard

- 'Not everybody runs on batteries, Tony' pepper that's so deep. How long have you been waiting to use it?

- oh Justin this is so fucking pretentious. Even for you.

- 'I think, if I may' Justin say that one single more time and see what happens

- 'I don't know if you've been understanding everything I'm saying?' can you fucking imagine if he didn't after that whole monologue lmao

- 'You don't gotta do this alone-' 'I wish I could believe that' that hurt

- 'Thats where the pilot goes. Having a tough time finding volunteers' yeah I wonder why justin

- "Hypothetically, if this were your last birthday, how would you celebrate it?" Tony you are not subtle

- can't help but empathise with rhodey in this film. When the American government wants something you do not want to be the person refusing them. Tony can step away. Rhodey kind of can't.

- 'This is ridiculous, I just stuck my neck out for this guy!' 'I know, I know, I'll handle it, just let me handle it.' 'Handle it. Or I'm gonna have to.' We don't see these two interact much huh.

- 'Im only gonna say this once. Get out' Damn, rhodey snapped

- 'Dont miss Potts me, I'm onto you!' well yes, but actually no

- 'You wanna be the war machine? Take the shot' the fact that rhodey actually does go by war machine. Somehow I think the writer of this line was not responsible for that decision

- The complete absence of dialogue when rhodey flies away with the suit. That's so effective

#ironman 2 #mcu #rewatching

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doodleduds · 6 months

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YOU !!!! I WAS HOPING I’D SEE YOU IN MY NOTES !!!! YOU’RE MY SONIC MUTUAL !!!!

hi 🥺👉👈 hello i think i would like 2 enter the sonic fandom. how do i partake in sonic. i dont know where 2 start 😢 ive been vaguely watching some of the fandubs and i just played the murder mystery steam game and !!!! i didn’t grow up with it bc i was a pokemon and mario baby but yea [: ALSO if you see me perusing your art that is why [:< !!!! (and because you are very talented and a beloved bestie mutual)

HI!!!!! Always love seeing u beanie I hope you’re good!! This might be a long response so I’m preemptively putting a cut lol

HI AGAIN BEANIE!!! Disclaimer I’m certainly not an expert BUT i’ll try my best 💙💙💙🫡🫡🫡

The murder of sonic the hedgehog is REALLY good. Its definitely got a lot of love packed into it and it shines through the whole thing. Its a favorite because its a little silly but they still work to take the characters seriously (idk. U can tell the devs really loved doing it. I think its all around a fantastic introduction to the series!)

I’ve been hooked on Sonic from a SUPER early age. Like playing on hand me down consoles and stuff. My favorite game ever was sonic and knuckles or sonic 3 and then it was sonic the fighters. And then every game after that until Sonic The Hedgehog (2006) for the xbox 360 came out and despite the glitches and everything else im sure anyone could tell you about it younger me just found it SO striking. Everything about it. I used to sit and watch all the cutscenes on youtube on the family computer like it was my JOB. Idk where the turning point was I’ve played all the other titles except for a couple here and there more recently but I def think you could start where-ever you want!!!

Theres some games I think most people in the fandom would agree are unplayable or just Bad (for any number of reasons, everyone has their opinions! But think like notoriously bad like sonic boom..or specifically sonic colors nintendo ds version) BUT I’m a firm believer that if Sonic 06 specifically didnt have game breaking issues it would have been a masterpiece (look up project 06…! its a labor of love and it made that game feel like what I thought it did when I was itty bitty and more. Beyond my expectations. Genuinely impressive and really shows how much could have been fixed/polished for gameplay/overall) obviously I’m very biased but 06 is something I’ll never get over and I think more people should see Project 06 because the work put into it is immaculate and really showcases what I loved and still love about that game

The fandubs are good! If you’re looking for more watching stuff instead of playing stuff the original remastered Sonic OVA movie is up on YouTube for free and I think you’d really enjoy that too! There’s some design choices (like knuckles just flying for half the movie/not gliding like he would in later titles) that are more timeline based (like they hadnt gotten a firm grasp in franchise what was what yet etc etc) but it really sticks to that charm that drew me in to begin with so its a 10/10 in my book.

Games I think you could start anywhere you’d like (even if people say you’ve GOTTA play x or y or z or whatever you do what you think you’d like) but as a die hard fan you know I’ve got to mention Sonic Adventure 2 or Heroes or one of those. More ‘recent’ games I’ve really enjoyed that didn’t feel rushed/scrapped halfway through.. Sonic Generations is good, Sonic Unleashed is good (and theres a short film called night of the werehog thats official you could watch!) Frontiers obviously is the best I think we’ve gotten in a while narratively.

And im biased but I really. REALLY like sonic and the black knight. I think it being on the wii was a little bad controls wise but it has some charm! The storybook ones (Sonic & The Secret Rings and Sonic & The Black Knight) were super interesting to me when they came out just because it was a fresh art style lol.. Still very charming to me

The Shadow The Hedgehog game will always hold a special place in my heart and I know you like that guy so if you haven’t checked out that game (it has so many endings.) I think you’d personally love it!!

Other than that I think IDW comics are really great if you can get your hands on em! I don’t read them very often if at all anymore but I keep up to date on new characters in gen (more out of interest for the designs and direction theyre going) but if you EVER get the chance to read the arc with the metal virus you absolutely should. All the comics are great but I think you especially would think that arc in particular is incredible

I’ll link the ova and the werehog animation below but every games cutscene you can find on youtube if you’re ever interested! I can always find more stuff and link you if you want : - )

ONE FINAL NOTE IS THAT SONIC GAMES SOUNDTRACKS DO NOT EVER MISS A CHANCE TO GO HARD AS FUCK FOR NO REASON!!!! All of the games OST’s EVER have at least one song for everybody on planet earth and I will not retract that statement ever. If u havent listened to any I highly recommend it

THANK U FOR THE ASK!!!! Always love to talk about whatever so holler if you want!!!

LINKS FOR U:

SONIC OVA:

youtube

NIGHT OF THE WEREHOG:

youtube

#BEANIE #im prob incoherent. i just rambled for like an hour and hit submit post #sth #asks #beanie… hi beanie 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉🎉

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lilredghost · 10 months

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babyyyy!!! im so sorry i am late, college started so i had to shift to the hostels and its so hectic but also so fun here(its so much like the colleges u see in movies like soty i didnt expect this college to be like that im so glad im here) and there was some issue with the wifi in my room so no ao3 for 3 weeks </3

i am in in LOVE with all the times obikin kiss, its so so soft and sweet, obi's trusting anakin with himself its so cute!!!!!!!

also CINNAMON OH MY GOD IT TASTES SO GOOD I CANT BELIEVE U MADE ANAKIN TASTE LIKE IT I LOVE U

(As much as he loves the scruffing, it’s not exactly conducive to Obi-Wan having a discussion.)

(Or thinking at all, really.)

oh my god me too pls i cant think after reading this u will be the sole reason im not studying before my math quiz

His hope is to extend that feeling to other parts of his life, someday, but for now Obi-Wan will stick to brushing and braiding his husband’s hair with all the care he can muster.

oh he is so oblivious oh god oh please tell me they both know the other person loves them before they separate pls

(And this, Obi-Wan has done before.)

(He is, perhaps, an expert in doing things quietly.)

sjdvhvjkdv pls pls red stop killing me im dying over here

(Anakin would deserve it too, is the thing. He'd deserve whatever he asked for.)

baby pls send him to therapy pls i love him but he is unwell™

But the day has been long and fraught, and he would like to believe that he can be happy too.

maybe anakin is the therapy, mandatory sessions for the both of them??? i'll tie them up back to back in a room until they talk

in public interest i would like you to know that u have officially ruined my plans for studying today as this fic will be bouncing around in my head on a pogo stick. i want to distill this fic and use it as an iv

Baby!! I'm glad you're having fun at college and not, like, a giant crisis 🙌 but no ao3 for 3 weeks sounds like hell 😭😭 My sister's wedding was just this last week (and you know big Indian weddings-- I'm exhausted) AND I resume college next week so it's pretty chaotic over here too.

So happy you liked this chapter 🥰🥰 I wanted to get through my whole outline of events instead of cutting the chapter in half (but also it took so long that maybe I should have cut it, lol). Obikin kissed so much that I'm amazed they got anything else done honestly!!

Obi-Wan is sooo brave for taking these leaps of faith, I love him so much. He makes a resolution in the next chapter (though it will be a bit hard for him to act on):

The most important thing is this: Anakin still doesn’t know what he is. The second is this: He cannot be allowed to find out, or Obi-Wan will lose him. Anakin may have married him for reasons Obi-Wan will never know, but being an alpha is surely a nonnegotiable part of that. Unless… Unless Anakin loved him. If Anakin, perhaps, were in love with him, the way Obi-Wan is in love with Anakin, then perhaps he could tell the truth. Perhaps he could be held and kissed and accepted in his entirety, as though he weren’t a failure of an alpha, a failure of an omega—

Baby hasn't even figured out that Anakin is already in love with him, or that Anakin doesn't give a shit that he's not an alpha. It's just so hard for him to detach his designation from his sense of self worth 🥺😔

And yes I made Anakin taste like cinnamon!! I only decided that an omega's slick tastes (mostly) the way their arousal smells like halfway through, so I'm SO GLAD that I gave him a good scent and not like. Something weird, idk. Some things smell good but I do not want them in my mouth. Also I'm not sure if you remember this post but it sure does lend a whole extra layer of meaning to it 😂

The scruffing I'm so absolutely obsessed with and idk why! Obi-Wan's emotions have been so out of control in these last few chapters, and it's such a sweet way for Anakin to lend him comfort, while also being hot as fuck in the right circumstances. I need him to pavlov Obi-Wan into getting horny when he scruffs him.

(Also please study for your math quiz baby, the sex will be there to reread when you finish 🙌)

Isn't he so fucking stupid?!! Anakin will tell him he loves him but I'm not sure yet how much he'll believe it (the outline gets pretty loose post-Tatooine rn).

(And this, Obi-Wan has done before.) (He is, perhaps, an expert in doing things quietly.)

OK this was literally like one of my favourite lines in this whole chapter ❤️❤️ It's so indicative of Obi-Wan's character and also the absolute root of their relationship problems. Obi-Wan is holding himself back from telling the truth, from telling Anakin he loves him, from biting him, all while Anakin is doing the same, because neither of them wants to scare the other away. (It also just hasn't occurred to Anakin that he hasn't said he loves Obi-Wan yet. He's so focused on holding himself back physically that he forgets about the words.)

Obi-Wan needs therapy soooo badly, poor thing. I love him but he is definitely unwell™. I don't want to say he's blowing things out of proportion (these feelings are obviously real and he's struggling with them a lot), but they are absolutely a byproduct of the way he keeps spiralling. He'll be feeling sky high one minute and then he'll crash to the ground again in the next. Some of this is his depression but also his hormones are out of wack because his supressants are failing!! 😬

I've been trying not to fall into that rut of "romantic partner cures depression magically" by having Obi-Wan slowly, like, rebuild his support system (Feemor and his friends), find an identity outside of being an alpha and being emperor (like that same thing from earlier about detaching his sense of self-worth from his designation and his job), indulging/discovering hobbies and interests (anthropology, embroidery, time with his friends), and showing vulnerability to others (Anakin is a big one here, but Karishma was an important milestone too).

On one hand I understand it's imporant to study but on the other hand !!! This fic also bounces around my head on a pogo stick 🤭🤭 I always love to see which things you noticed and which things you liked because it gives me so much motivation to keep writing, thank you!!! 🤗💕💕

#I think it took lots of people time to get around to reading this chapter because of all the fics from the subanakin fest tbh #it's left me sooo behind on reading fics lol #obikin #emperor obi-wan au #squick: a/b/o #also I tried breaking up the reply with dashes but I'm not sure how well it worked. it kind of feels more chaotic to me now #imjusttoofunky #asks #also did you just start your first year of college or did you like move or something?? 👀 sounds like a really cool place to be!

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subtle-edge-of-rot · 2 years

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Some Sinclair asks because I’m curious how other people interpret these plot holes in the movie:

1. Why would the brothers risk their freedom to fulfill the dream of their mother when she’s already dead (so it wouldnt even matter), and abused Bo as a child (at least he’s the only one we know of)? Especially since it’s implied that they may have killed both their parents.

2. When Bo is giving their backstory to Carly, he mentions that Trudy only had TWO sons. What was the point of leaving Lester out, besides so that it could be a plot twist to the audience? It doesnt make sense, it’s not like Bo knew he was a fictional character in a movie and lied for the audiences sake lol. There’s also no sign of him depicted in the wax museum either.

3. Why was Lester so calm at the end of the movie? His brothers are dead, his town burned down, and the place is swarming with cops finding evidence of bodies while he waves to the only two witnesses left as they escape? Was he just accepting that there was nothing he could do? He obviously cared enough about his brothers to help with their scheme, but I find it hard to believe he would just accept that he was about the be arrested.

4. Vincent’s wax chair setup. Its built like it can only cover people in a sitting position, but that would imply all of his figures would have to be sitting then. How does he pose the others? Can the device be moved into different positions? If not then the bodies would have to have some kind of aperture holding them in place, and he then would have to pose them while the wax was still hot enough to be malleable for it to dry in the correct position.

5. Is Vincent actually mute? I see no reason why he would be, his scarring doesn’t affect his vocal cords and I feel like keeping him not talking was just the directors way of making him seem scarier to the audience? Also, not really a question but the CGI used for his scars is so medically inaccurate that it drives me crazy. Again, i feel like it was for shock factor but it just looks sloppy.

6. Why do most people head-cannon Lester living by himself instead of with his bros? There seems to be no reason that would suggest he does if i remember correctly.

Alright I’ll take a stab at this. *cracks knuckles* im no expert but I have thoughts.

1. This is a question I struggle with, and it’s probably why I haven’t written any Sinclair fics. I want to understand their point of view more before I dive in. It all boils down to wanting to please mom, and a release of sadistic feelings and desires. That’s all I can pinpoint it down to.

2. I think he said that Trudy only had to sons simply to protect Lester from any fallout. I hc that Bo and Vince basically raised him and they’re super protective. If anyone is going to go down for their crimes, it’s gonna be the twins, not their little brother—even though he’s also guilty.

3. I think he was kind of relieved that this whole operation finally came to an end. I think all along he wanted his brothers to stop the madness, and just let the town go and move on. I think his relief that this is over overtakes his grief—plus he knows his brothers are free of the shackles of sadism that held them down. Lester is also guilty, don’t get me wrong, but he never participated in the actual act of murder.

4. I’m pretty sure he can switch up positions with his waxing setup, including wire setups that will keep the cadaver’s legs stiff so they can hold their own weight.

5. I talked about this with my beloved Blue anon—Vincent is selectively mute. It’s been found that with twins, sometimes one of them does the talking for both of them, and Vincent let that be Bo. I agree with the scar thing, they could have done better. I work in the medical field—it would look completely different!

6. I’m not really sure. I know some people think he’s more independent, and more comfortable living out in nature—camping or out in a cabin or shed on the property. I personally think he’d stay and live with his brothers—they’re close and Les is the glue that holds them together.

#i hope this helped #house of wax #the Sinclair brothers #bric-a-brac-brooke

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blog-of-reaction · 1 year

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ANTMAN AND THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA SPOILERS

More unasked for thoughts on this movie. (Except this time I remember to put it on my thoughts about movie/shows blog instead of my main)

I wish the og? Kang had survived. Like, I’m sure the other Kang’s are cool, but I really liked him as the villain. Also, with Kang being the big and of phase five. (Is it phase 4 or 5? I honestly don’t know.) with him being the big bad though, I can’t help but feel like killing off the Kang that literally all of the other Kang’s were so scared of they banished him to the quantum realm was a mistake. Like, they already (most likely) successfully took down him, how are other Kang’s who aren’t as scary going to feel like much of a threat?

Especially since there will be multiple. Like, I realize the Kang we’ve seen so far could be an outlier, but I’m not so sure they wont be able to be divided against each other. (Then again, them being divided against each other would most likely cause just as much if not more damage then them working together, given the whole monologue at the end of Loki.)

Also, Cassie was great and I love her.

I’m not necessarily an expert on Modok but I liked the what they did with him. Also, the part where Scott asked “Shouldn’t it be Modofk?” was perfect. Ive literally asked myself the same thing ever since he showed up in EMH.

I really liked the family dynamic they had in the movie.

Hope and Scott’s relationship actually had like, some real substance to it this time. Granted, it is very little but their romance is still much more believable than in the previous movies. (Which I mean the bar could not be lower there and it still feels a bit like “what?” but not as much as in the previous movies. Their relationship is mostly like, subtly implied and definitely supported and kind of lifted up via the overall family dynamic everyone had, but it still felt a bit forced at the end. I am slowly coming around to it maybe though? Like, I no longer passively dislike it. Instead I passively accept it.

The side characters were great, fun to see, and I loved them. I actually teared up when torture laser beam for a head guy was killed.

There were a few brilliant scenes that I especially enjoyed or found funny.

First off, like, just put yourself in Scott Lang’s shoes for a minute. All sorts of things weird unbelievable stuff has happened in your life and now you’re in the quantum realm and you lost sight of your daughter after being captured by these strange quantum realm people. And then when he finally sees her, he sees this teenage girl with what looks like blood dripping down her chin and she just cheerily says

“Drink the ooze!”

And then the camera cuts away. Hilarious.

“Those buildings are alive?!”

“What, are yours dead?” said with genuine concern. Beautiful.

The surprise actor for Chidi and pretty much everything when it came to his telepathy.

“How many holes do you?”

*excitedly after being shot a lot* “I HAVE HOLES” and then turning into a vacuum cleaner and just straight up going eldritch something on these guys

Also, Darren’s death. My response to that entire conversation was basically to laugh and ask myself what the fuck? I’m pretty sure Darren said some of that stuff just to mess with Scott but I’m not sure.

I want revenge and im going to kill you and your daughter! “You’re being a dick.” “Yeah but I don’t know what else to do.” “…just stop” great idea, thanks. And immediately doing a 180 and helping your previous sworn enemies.

Also, Kang was great, and a good villain and I was actually like, a bit scared of him. I mean, I still havent seen Wakanda Forever (I know and I hate that about me too) so I can’t comment on Namor and while Killmonger was a good MCU villain Kang is a good villain. And like, those are two very different things. So that was refreshing to see.

Back to Kang I don’t know how the rest of this phase will play out. Like, how will the, for lack of a better term, council of Kang, react and what will they do? Besides maybe destroying the multiverse according to prime Kang. (Speaking of, the Kang in this is just like, a younger version then the one that Sylvie killed in Loki right? It’s never outright stated but it seems pretty clear.)

#antman spoilers #antman and the wasp spoilers #antman and the wasp quantamania spoilers #quantumania spoilers #mcu spoilers #spoilers

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crimefightingspiderguy · 3 years

Text

My final thoughts on WandaVision (so it goes without saying if you haven’t finished it, don’t look past Vision)

What I liked:

• I loved the sitcom concept, super cool. And finding out why she hung onto sitcoms for comfort was just *chefs kiss* pay off wise.

• I loved how it started out as a slow build up (but I do think it would’ve worked better to have longer episodes to make things fit better and not feel as rushed towards the end)

• I loved Darcy, Monica and Jimmy’s trio. They were so fantastic together and the actors all did great.

• On the note of Monica, IM SO EXCITED TO HAVE A WOMAN OF COLOR SUPERHERO (especially since she’ll eventually be a main character not just a “sidekick”) 🥳

• I LOVED Pietro/Fietro/Ralph/Uncle P (whoever the hell he actually was). I obviously have some dislikes about the last episode, but we’ll get to that later. I loved how fun Evan Peters was. He really did a fantastic job even though no one knew what was going on with his character, he ate that shit up and left no crumbs.

• Wanda and Visions love story is so much better now that we got to build up to it rather than us just jumping into it (how I felt in Infinity War)

• SCARLET WITCH BOUT TO MAKE ME ACT UP. HOLY JIMMINE CRICKETS WAS SHE LOOKING GORGEOUS AND POWERFUL IN THAT LAST EPISODE

• Billy and Tommy are some of the sweetest children I think I’ve ever seen in a movie/show world and I love them with all my heart and soul and I really hope they do return.

• ITS BEEN AGATHA ALL ALONG 💃🏻🕺🏽💃🏻🕺🏽💃🏻

• “what is grief if not love persevering”

• “we’ve said goodbye before so it stands to reason... we’ll say hello again” IM CRYING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

• Wanda tucked in Billy and Tommy so they’d be asleep before they were sucked away with the hex 😭😭😭

• “thank you for choosing me to be your mom” 😭

• That second end credit scene with Scarlet Witch astral projecting was so trippy (I love it) and the boys calling to her broke my dang heart.

• overall the special effects looked really cool

• omg Elizabeth Olsen breaking her back to create the hex was 10/10 she’s so dedicated to the motions/physical acting of it all. Also all her crying scenes, it all felt very real and it really made me sob whenever she was hurting.

Things I didn’t like:

• Episode length. I understand they wanted it to go with the length of a normal sitcom, but it doesn’t work when you’re flashing back and forth between the sitcom and the real world. The time got messy towards the end and things felt rushed like the Vision vs. White Vision battle was just boring because it had no climatic energy to it.

• Too many loose ends/wasn’t clear enough. By that I mean, who was Jimmy’s missing person that led to him learning about the hex? (I’m hoping it was Evan Peters’ character, but more on that later). What happened to White Vision? Does Wanda have Agatha’s power now or did she just make it so she couldn’t use them?

• Ralph Bohner? Really Disney/Marvel? Really? You’re telling me you got Evan fricking Peters just so you could stunt cast and fuck with the audience and end it with a dick joke? Not cool.

• Why no Darcy in the last episode other than 2 seconds :(

• Hayward... Thats it. I just really hate him.

• some of the script/lines were a little questionable... like idk a lot of Agatha’s lines once she was revealed as the villain just were lack luster after her amazing intro and they were sort of tacky.

• I didn’t like how they hyped up certain things just for them to not really be significant (like Monica saying she knew a space engineer who could get her in and it was all mysterious, then not even ending up needing the truck they built or the character not really having much of a “wow” show up)

• I’m back to the Evan Peters thing. Why would they hype up his character’s mystery identity for him to just be a random dude named Ralph Bohner??? That’s such terrible writing (obviously I’m not an expert writer, but I actually did internship at a magazine where I had to read submitted stories and judge them and see if they were worthy of publication. And my minor in college was writing. So I do know a little about story telling, and something is off about the way they did this.). It’s either the fact that it’s just plain bad writing, or it’s a misdirect. I want to believe that Marvel knows how much people would enjoy EP in this show and would eventually expect more from him in the MCU. Now obviously, this is Wanda’s show and she decides what makes it on and what doesn’t, so maybe Ralph is the missing person Jimmy was looking for, but Wanda doesn’t know that, nor would she want it on her show. Maybe he really is Quicksilver but they put him in the Witness Protection Program when he came over from another universe? Or maybe he really is just a nobody who Agatha lived with because his house was conveniently close to Wanda’s. Or maybe he is someone of significance because who just has a random headshot lying around with their proof of ownership of their house and other paperwork and then laughs at their name Bohner even though if they’d had that name their whole life they’d be sick of the dick jokes?? Maybe they left it vague enough so they could gauge audience reaction to EP, if it was good they could come back to it in a mutants movie/show (or maybe even Doctor Strange 2 or Spider-Man 3) or if it was bad, just leave it at he’s a random person who already lived in Westview. Idk all I know is if they don’t end up bringing him back I’m definitely gonna be significantly less interested in any morphing of the XMen and mutants into the MCU.

Lastly, I just wanna say the actors and actresses all did fantastic (especially Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany). They all play such complex roles this time around and it really showed how passionate they were about this project. I loved them all so much and they truly brought this show to life (yes it has flaws, but it was their first attempt at a MCU timeline show, and the actors did what they could with what they were given so none of my criticism go towards them). I really enjoyed this overall (and I’m genuinely sad to see it ending) and I’m looking forward to seeing Wanda being a bad mamma-jamma in Doctor Strange 2.

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sleeping-lilies · 3 years

Text

robin era jason, dick, and babs headcanons because there’s too much comedic potential to ignore

- dick and babs were the ultimate gossip buddies. whenever dick was with the titans for long periods of time, babs always filled him in on everything

babs: dick you’ll never believe what hal said to bruce last night, i even have videos. dick, the look on his face please—

dick, immediately locking doors so his teammates don’t hear the mad shit about to be dropped on main: tell me everything

- vice versa too, dick filled babs in on everything going on with the titans and all they can say is thank god those lines are bat secured with no villains being able to listen in, imagine deathstroke hearing through bat gossip that joey’s dating who?!?! 😳

- batkids have been and always will be the holder of superhero gossip. it’s a business, you see, but we’re getting off topic 😡

- lmfao anyways this is literally how dick finds out about jason

babs: anyways, jason—

dick: who the fuck is jason

babs: ....

dick: barbara?!?!

babs: ok promise you won’t freak out

- babs and dick’s first reaction upon meeting jason being “why is he so small i wasnt that small” “dick you were literally nine when you were robin—“ “he’s tiny” it’s like those two share the same braincell

- i’m making it so that dick gave jason his number earlier because i feel like it 😡😡😡 (not that it changes much other than the fact that i want more gossip dropped in dm’s)

- when dick gave jason his number, he went to babs like “give me jason’s number” “didn’t you literally just give him your’s?” “ya but i’m gonna make sure he texts me” “ya ok that’s fair”

- whenever jason didn’t want to be in the manor (fight with bruce, boredom, etc) he went to wherever the fuck babs lived and they would facetime dick and talk mad shit. it was a thing.

- despite them all being able to drive, babs was the only one during this time with an actual, legitimate, legal license (jason was too young to have a license and dick is too lazy/busy/whatever-excuse-he-wants-to-use to take the permit and driving test) so babs drove them around everywhere and it was a mess™ consisting of a bunch of backseat drivers

- “dick omg look at this video i found from the batcave” “omg he said robin gives him magic” “robin gives him magic” they both cry about it for years to come

- babs sometimes kidnapped jason after school after telling the head of wayne manor (alfred) and took him to get ice cream, then to the library while she worked. jason was the greatest kid in the library, he even had his own throne special chair just for him whenever he came provided by library staff who adored this absolute angel.

- jason 🤝 babs 🤝 dick -> i believe in annoying yet endearing nicknames supremacy

- nicknames include (some used by some more than others or just one, or by both equally because they’re annoying pick and choose my good people)

little wing (iconic, we all know this one fellas and who uses it)

red (used for babs, absolutely fantastic, but in the future it gets confusing because some people with their goddamn hero names 😡)

boy wonder (classic, babs calls them both that)

barbie (for babs, jason uses this one and he’s the only one able to get away with it)

dickie (jason just really gets away with everything huh)

dickhead (jason’s lucky he’s cute)

baba black sheep (jeez i’m on a roll with babs’ nicknames she’s so nickname-able and that’s very cool and sexy of her)

jay z

jay allen

jay jay jay (shut up, dickhead—)

big bird

and a bunch more i’m too tired to look for them in canon or make new ones up, but you get the idea

- dick can totally bake, and babs and jason keep bugging him when he’s baking and add more chocolate chips while pretending to not notice that he can see them 😡😡😡

- headcanon that jason had hero worship for babs and dick because they’re so cool in and out of costume and it never really went away when he got older listen his older brother and pseudo sister are so cool and that’s not his fault but he’ll never admit it

- barbie movie marathons because barbie is an iconic legend and they all recognize it. they have the fucking “she’s the queen of the WA-A-A-AVES” song memorized along with all other barbie movie songs, they sing it on patrol.

- dick and jason’s sibling dynamic was and is basically “ur a little shit and i hate you but i will literally kill for you”

- dick had tension with bruce while jason was just a little shit who would totally cause drama for the sake of it, and people never take advantage of this absolute power duo for destroying bruce

- dick sending cryptid texts to jason through a burner phone because he’s dramatic jason totally knew it was him about things that drive bruce mad, like leaving the shower turned to the coldest setting before bruce got there, leaving the lights in the batcave on, etc. jason, a wise little child, totally took advantage of this. bruce came to accept his fate

- the gc names, guys the group chat names

- jason crashing into titans tower whenever he wants and dick doesn’t bat (hAH) an eye, occasionally he very sweetly asks babs to come with him and she agrees but only sometimes because some people have jobs, jason—wait dick is being flirted with by who?!?! i’ll leave it up to your imagination ;) and they totally crashed titans missions too

- one time bruce was busy with the league while alfred was on vacation and bruce absolutely could not dip (i’m imagining bruce getting a call from the headmaster during an honest to god fight and bruce just picking up while punching the daylights out of some asshole) (“mr wayne, what is that noise in the background?” “sorry, headmaster, the cat is having a seizure”), so when jason got into a “fight” (read: some jackass picking on jason before he snapped and yelled at him and the bitchass kid tried to punch him and jason’s no quitter) bruce called dick who was an adult and legally family (yes dick is adopted sometime after jason was, stay mad) like “son... son please” and dick was like “oh no need to plead with me, this is too good” but of course this bitchass doesn’t have an actual lisence yet and he was hanging out with babs anyways so he and babs rolled up to gotham academy and the kids stared at them like “holy shit they’re so cool” ya dick and babs are those power couple, whether romantic or not, that turn heads, they’re just that powerful strolled into the office, bailed jason out while intimidating the headmaster because the altercation was the result of school staff negligence of actual bullying like those cliche tropes, said “ayyy you got that brat good” and get him chili dogs or whatever the fandom made robin jason’s favorite food. omg i just made an entire fanfic in rough draft form someone please steal it and write it in full form and send me the link

- jason is very very tiny, you see. babs and dick pick him up and move him for any reason, whether because they want to sit on that chair or to just throw him out of harm’s way and take the bullet for themselves.

- jason and dick both get adorable blushes on their faces it’s genetic yes that’s how genetics work shut up meanwhile babs’ ears turn red when she’s embarrassed and all three of them clown each other for it

- i yelled about this to my mutual (cough cough @littlespaceboii) who also added to this absolute dogshit headcanon and then in the discord full of mutuals, but the basement of wayne manor is haunted. dick found it when he was a little gremlin (i stand by that dick was the original demon child) (“you see damian, before there was you there was me” the real reason he was good with damian lmfao) and was like “omg this is so cool” @littlespaceboii came up with that it was just alfred fucking with bruce and so when jason first came and dick was comfy around him he was like “so have you been in the basement” and jason was like “im literally robin i’ve been in the batcave?!?!” and dick goes “no the basement, the haunted one” and jason’s like “hAUNTED?!?!” cuz jason has at least some self preservations and knows not to fuck with the spookies until he too became a spooky and bruce was like “there’s no ghost it’s not haunted” because he’s a skeptic and a party pooper and babs is like “no go on let him finish” even though she knows full well there are no ghosts or does she? and uhhhh basically they becomes ghostbusters 2.0 but cooler and funnier

- this trio is basically baby pan/bisexual jason and two resident expert pan/bisexuals solidarity but that’s literally canon. they go to pride every year that jason’s alive what who said that?

- they all tease each other for their crushes like all siblings/family friends do, i don’t need to say it but it’s important that’s emphasized for my well being

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals who added onto this absolute train wreck too, but jason used to play baseball during his robin days, and dick never showed up to those games with being busy as an excuse, but babs always showed up with bruce and alfred and took pictures for dick so dick could be like “mlb players are jobless now that little wing is on the scene” babs (and sometimes bruce) always shouted loudest for jason whether he was in the field or in the dugout and jason would get this extremely adorable blush on his face (jason finds out in the future why dick never showed up (cough cough ptsd from two face’s massive baseball bat which led to everything that came after including being fired and veangance academy and nearly killing two face and omg that’s a ride) and is like oh my god my childhood is even more ruined—)

- remember when i said dick got adopted after jason did in this new absolutely fabulous canon i just created? bruce did that because “ahhh fuck that’s my kid and i want him to know i love him through every means possible since i have the ability to do so” i believe in good dad bruce supremacy and made a whole thing where he invited dick to dinner for like a week to work up the courage and bonding to ask him and show him the adoption papers and then everyone cried :) bruce decided to finally adopt dick after jason referred to dick as his brother and bruce was like “...oh” and alfred was like 👀

- dick, as the first child hero and one of the first heroes period like at least a year or two before babs, holds the “back in my day” card over literally everyone in the hero community in general and pulls it out to annoy babs and jason even tho babs literally joined the scene only a year or two after dick

jason, shaking in his panties: it’s so fucking cold

dick, standing strong in his tits out outfit, who had to wear the panties on his own decision: oh, you’re cold? back in my day—

babs, throwing her boot at his face: god shut the fuck up—

and then dick doesn’t give back her boot and it becomes a whole thing with lots of tackling and play fighting and someone nearly gets thrown off they rooftop for funsies but anyways

also on a side note, babs would take off her cape and wrap it around jason whenever she noticed his discomfort with the weather, or use the weather as an excuse whenever she saw him uneasy for whatever reason and they never mention it to each other

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals at some point too holy shit i have friends, but those three are team rocket. they went out as team rocket for halloween one year after bullying bruce to let jason out only jason because he can’t tell dick and babs what to do and jason is under his care and when they do convince him, dick and babs bully jason into being meowth. manifesting jason in a meowth onesie ARTISTS PLEASE—

- dick finally took his license seriously and took his driver’s test after babs became paralyzed.

- those were a rough few months for those three. and then another rough few months for those two

- yikes, sorry to throw angst at you (sorry (unfeeling)) anyways, in the future alfred finds those old photos and shows the rest of the fam, so dick and babs bully jason, 6’2 jason that towers way above both of them, and once again bullies him into being meowth “for tradition, little wing!” “shut up, dickhead” the rest of the batkids lose their shit over this, naturally. bruce and alfred stand in the back teary eyed reminiscing the old days when things were a little more simple.

- discowing walked so terrifying handsome squidward red hood helmet could run (even tho the ugly helmet tripped and fell and missed the mark because discowing wasn’t ugly and will always remain superior, i feel i have committed a terrible crime comparing the two)

dick: jason what the fuck is that

jason: it’s fashion

dick: it’s terrifying

jason: i’m only following in my older brother’s footsteps 😔

dick: listen here, you little shit strangles him haha just kidding that illegal wait theyre vigilantes they don’t follow the law—

- these three and cass refer to the rest of the batkids as “the kids” (if she’s older than jason, sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t and i’m really confused but whatever)

- babs and dick’s relationship with jason pre death literally shaped how jason treats his siblings post pit madness like he literally goes “what would red and big bird do?!??” when he needs to go into big brother mode over the “little ones” (“little” because tim and steph are adults and duke is nearly an adult himself oh my god he’ll graduate from high school soon and jason never got to do that himself he’s totally going to the ceremony legally dead or not) 🥺

- holy trinity continue hanging out with each other, whether lunch or games or whatever, and just enjoy each other’s company after long, rough years

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little-silly-bear · 3 years

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Hello Cookie!! Can you explain autism symptoms for me?

Hi dear! Well it’s a very big argument and I want to talk about my experience that is different from others on the spectrum since every person is unique. I was diagnosed the last year and it was a shock since I’m 23 and I lived my whole life thinking “what is wrong with me? Why I just can’t get friends or having a conversation like the others?” Tumblr literally saved me, I saw a lot of post of regressors that are on the autism spectrum and I was like “Wait..that isn’t normal? I mean not everyone do that?”. So I did a loooot and I mean a looooot of researches on this argument, I tried to study more that I could and I found myself at home.

I can try to summarise the big symptoms for you (I’m not an expert I’m just a kiddo pls don’t be mean if I say or spell something wrong it’s also 5 am here) :

Sensory issues-it means that you have one or more senses very high, you’re sensitive to touch, smells, tastes, sounds or sights and they are more but I don’t remember those ahah! You can have all of them or a mix of them, usually they are more that one. You can’t stand having targets on your shirt, some kind of fabrics drives you crazy and you just really need that blanket to live a regular life and can’t understand why? Yeah me too. Most of the time they are bad, like some sounds literally makes me crazy, in high school I spent a terrible time because no one believed that I felt pain for certain sounds or lights. But I try my best to concentrate on what makes me happy like the fluffy blankets, not having socks, sleeping with a weight blanket, walking with my cancelling headphones and the taste of a cheesy pizza. You just need to listen to your brain if that light is too much please, when possible turning off, your health comes first! I tried to suppress this feelings my whole life to make other people “comfortable” aroun me but not anymore! If a room is too crowded and I literally hear every person talking, I usually feel very sick and need to recharge in another room. When I was a kid and my parents used to take me to the mall I literally fainted, they thought it was something that makes me unique but now we now it was my body reacting to overstimulation.

Having trouble socialising and in building relationships. This was the first criteria that convinced my therapist that I needed a test. As I told before I never get other people, they seemed like a different species to me and if I wanted a friend I needed to work really hard on acting and behaving like them. Obviously I failed every single time because I couldn’t resist more than few weeks? Also this was around elementary/middle school when in my head I needed friends like a task to do 😂 when I realised that I was way more happier by myself I didn’t try it again! But for me, like a lot of us is difficult because everything is built in a way that isn’t ours, every single conversation is based on a neurotypical way. The small talks, the chit chat, I never get this things, why we need to talk about the weather when we can talk about how cool is the Pokémon Go game? Do you know what I mean? I think you does. Also big tip try to talk with a person on the autism spectrum and see if you’re more comfortable and tuned with them, I had three friends irl ,we’re all on the spectrum and let me tell you that is so much easier talk and keeping a relationship when you both understand each other.

Special interests!! Omg! Pls don’t get me started I will never end this post 😂 they literally saved my life, I didn’t know they were special interest until my therapist told me but let me tell you that I have a lot of them!!! Special interests are one or more subjects that you have a deep, almost professional, passion about. They can be simple, scholastic or very complex topic. And you don’t need to be an encyclopaedia to prove that is your special interest, the same fact that you have something that you reaaaaaally love talking about and can’t stop learning more and more about it makes it valid. Let me tell you that at the age 10 I learned Japanese because I fell in love with Japan culture, I didn’t have internet I studied from books and old movies/animes. I never thought that was a special interest because for me it was just my way of loving something.

Stimming. This is something that our dear cousins with ADHD have in common with us. Most of the times someone in the autism spectrum have also adhd and viceversa but it isn’t always the case. Stimming is a natural process to express our emotions, it comes naturally and it’s like an electric feelings (for me) it’s something that you can’t stop and if you tried to suppress it will grow and make you feel worst (not like in a tic or ocd way more in a mental state). Everyone stim, people stimming to music is very acceptable and well viewed by the society but people like us need to stim to express our emotional state. I personally suppressed my stims for so many years because of bad teachers that im still trying to relearn most of them. It’s a common thing to having your diagnosis or starting to accept your autistic traits and then see your stims grow like never before! Most are gestures like flappy hands or jumping when you’re happy or if you ate a good food but they could be everything like chewing, singing, humming, bouncing legs, hair wrapping, scratching, eating nails, watching aesthetic photos, listening a song on repeat or clapping hands.

They’re more and more things to add in this list but I already did a long post and I got so excited for this question that I forgot to take my meds 😂 I tried to summarise with the points that my therapist told me were the most relevant for my diagnosis. Let me know if you need more advices, my dms are always open for you little beans that need help or tips from your big sibling! Have a good day and happy stimming to everyone 💕

#mine #sfw agere #agere #ageregression #age regression #pure agere #agere community #age regressor #autism agere #autistic agere #aspie agere #agere ask #agere asks

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thatfunkyopossum · 3 years

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whys it a worthless video essay? genuinely curious on your thoughts :0

The racism mostly!

Disclaimer: i’m white, and not meaning to speak for any person of color! My opinions on this are formed based on what i noticed in combination with what i know about racism, and I believe that in this case i’m right about what i’ve observed. That said, my observations are open to criticism from any black people who might be reading this and feel like weighing in, as my only personal experiences in bigotry are with my identity as a queer person. In short: i’m not an expert, but i do have eyes and what they see is repulsive. Anyway this will be rambly.

First and foremost, The Tragedy of Droids by @popculturedetective’s editing directly connects the Droids in Star Wars with the atrocities of chattel slavery in the americas, and the perceived connection is at times hinted at in the script.

@4:10 into the video “...they’re also bought and sold like cattle” is a quote i caught when trying to find the following time stamps, because the editing is the real beast here.

There’s also @ 4:35 “you can probably guess where i’m going with this, because the social arrangement i’ve just described is one of property and owner. And a property relationship between two intelligent beings that gives one absolute power over the other is called slavery.”

In this video essay, there are multiple times when the visuals cut between Roots and the droids of Star Wars. This is important because Roots is a mini series based off the family history of the black man who wrote the book, Alex Haley, and the scenes being directly juxtaposed with Star Wars droids are the scenes from it where black people are on slave ships or being sold at auction. TToD essay, which was at the very least presented by a white man, wants the viewer to connect robots and black people for the sake of the essay’s argument. TToD essay wants the connection between real black human beings who actually lived and suffered and died in the real damn world to, i cannot stress this enough, machines.

To anyone who is reading this and not seeing why thats fucked up, because they view the droids as people, here’s the problem. Droids aren’t people. No matter how you slice it, no matter how much you love them, theres actually no way for us to be sure that 99% of droids are sentient beings, that are self aware, and that feel things. Droids in the Star Wars universe are constructed to be tools that talk to you and have fun personalities. Some droids might be self aware and sentient, but the likelihood is that the vast majority aren’t due to being what they are. Tools. This is in stark contrast to black people, because black people are, uh, people!!

At 4:00 into the video essay, we start to see the cuts between Roots and Star Wars. Pop Culture Detective cuts between C-3PO/R2-D2 being sold to Luke’s family and a black woman being put in front of a crowd of white people to be auctioned off. This same sequence of cuts is used again later in the video essay.

At 28:20 into the video, a clip from Star Trek: The Next Generation is used wherein Guinan (played by Whoopi Goldberg, a black woman) is talking about slaves and slavery, how there have been disposable people in history. This clip on its own is so, so good. It aired in 1989, and I have no idea what the political climate was like for black people then (im not as well versed in history as i would like) but i can guess it probably wasn’t good!

“...They do the dirty work. They do the work that no one else wants to do because its too difficult or too hazardous. You don’t have to think about their welfare. You don’t think about how they feel. Whole generations of disposable people.”

And then Pop Culture Detective uses this (to me) powerful line about atrocities done to human beings... and cuts to R2-D2 serving drinks to Jabba’s crew. PCD says some bullshit about how star wars is using the droids as an allegory for slavery but has nothing to say with the metaphor, and then it cuts back to Guinan to finish her speech. Might i say: what the fuck. What the fuck.

I can’t find it right now, but i distinctly remember there is also a bit where the visuals cut straight from a black man’s face to the face of an astromech.

And the cherry on top is that the clones are in this video... and never mentioned. Okay actually i’m going to talk about this video’s treatment of the clones and how utterly fucked up it is because i was so caught up in the “this essay wants you to think of the horrors of chattel slavery done to black people as being even remotely comparable to the existence of R2-D2” that i forgot to talk about the clones.

Okay so this video does not mention the clones at all. It uses clips from the clone wars and clips from the prequels movies with clones in them, but the clones aren’t even so much as talked about in passing. The closest we get is this brushing off of the issue in general @29:50:

“Remember, this is a universe where humanoid slavery exists as well, but its presented as unambiguously negative, though not exactly something the heroes are in a rush to abolish.”

Which is said about Anakin and his mother. And its not like they forgot about the clone wars and to talk about it at all! No, they had this to say on it @15:10. See if you notice anything.

“...But what about Battle droids?... Well, the separatist droid army in the prequels seems specifically designed as little more than canon fodder. Making the bad guys unfeeling robots avoids the messy moral complications and mass casualties that would result from an interstellar war. If battle droids aren’t alive then the audience doesn’t have to care when thousands of them are killed in extended battlefield scenes. Indeed we’re encouraged to think of these types of droids as mere objects and to cheer at their dismemberment.”

Drink it in y’all, i’m still absorbing it. I’ll note that sections of this were played over clips from the first battle of geonosis, and there were clones on screen. So, PCD completely sidesteps the issue of the clones, seemingly unaware of the actual explicit enslavement of brown men who are unquestionably living thinking feeling people, in favor of projecting humanity onto every single droid including the infamously poorly programed B1 Battle droids.

I don’t know what else I can say on that besides the fact that some obscure ass clips from the clone wars are used to humanize the robots, implying that PCD watched tcw and missed the episode where Slick calls the Jedi slavers.

There’s other problems with it as a whole, like the essayist completely failing to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that all droids are sentient, or that even most droids are. No consideration is given to the purpose, construction, or make/model of droid into the question of “are they sentient”? And we’re left with the implication that your average mouse droid is at all relatable to a black person.

In fact, PCD in this essay seems to actually imply that r2-d2 and bb8 being sentient-ish robots we’re supposed to empathize with, and the battle droids being not that, is due to a failure/breakdown of internal logic. And not that they’re, you know, different machines...?

I have so much to say on this mess, but this is long enough as it is. In conclusion, Pop Culture Detective’s video essay should have been about the clones, but it chose to focus on droids instead and in doing so dehumanized black people in an attempt to humanize robots.

I’ll leave you with this quote from the video, but edited slightly to be instead about the clones.

“[Slick]’s observations about [clone] slavery could have been an opportunity for Star Wars to finally grapple with the uncomfortable fact that...the good guys seem to have been keeping sentient beings in a state of perpetual servitude.”

#long post #racism #slavery #star wars

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letfatewritethewords · 3 years

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I process things with art. I process with written words in the hopes that one day it can be spoken without my voice shaking. This week has been one for the books.. and I decided to share. This is long, but I want to remember what I’m learning.. how I’m processing.. if you decide to read, thank you. If not, this will still be here as a reminder of my progress every year.

I always tell people that there was no reason for my name, but it’s a lie. I’m named after Samantha on BeWitched. My grandfather loved that show and suggested it when my mother couldn’t decide. I was born in early September and that makes me a Virgo. Astrology is one of my favorite things. There’s something extraordinary about the idea that we’re connected to the universe by the positioning of the stars. Sometimes it’s so vague.. but other times, it’s right on the nose and my horoscopes will make me cry. Speaking of that, I’m an empath and a 2. When I’m unhealthy, I’m a 4 and If you know what any of that means, I’d love to talk to you more about it. Winter is my favorite season. Fall is a close second. I love the snow and how muted everything is. I like the quiet, the beauty. Sometimes, the light from the sun will shimmer off a fresh coat of snow on the ground. It is absolutely blinding, but I’d still stare, and when the snow fell at night, I’d watch it under the street light across from my house and it felt like time stood still. When I was little, I would lay in the yard full of snow, alone, in my puffy suite, until my fingers and toes would go numb from the cold, listening to the silence, but the best part of those days was going back into my grandparents house and warming up with hot coco made on the stove, wrapping myself in a soft blanket and watching old movies with my grandfather. To me, the Winter is magical. My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I’m an introvert but I love people. I like to observe, I like to really understand how the mind works and Im eager to help. I thrive in controlled chaos. I like puzzles, I love music, I like crafts, I like to fix things because grandpa always taught me that nothing is to broken to fix. Nothing. No one.

This is the light. This is the part of me that I give willingly to anyone I meet. I wear it on my sleeve. It’s only the light. Until the last 2 years.. this was all I could give of myself because I’ve always been scared of the dark.

The darkest part of me lasted 8 years, my rock bottom lasted 4.5, but as a whole it’s taken up almost 12 years of my life. Sometimes I worry that all I'm ever going to be is this thing that happened to me. That this will define me for the rest of my life and I need to remind myself that I’m a person that can live separate from an event.

I went to the police station this week, I filled out more forms. I’ve filled out so many forms over the last 2 years. For an emergency restraining order this time. For Florida this time. I knew it would eventually follow me here but typhus felt too soon. The clerk called me brave. I smile and thank them every time but I never know how to respond to that. She has no idea how weak it feels and I mean.. how could she. This is the right choice, the obvious choice, the smart choice. In a different situation, it’s one of the many steps I’d be urging someone else to take. In all the chaos, all the hurt, in all the anger and sadness.. it always circles back to “I loved him”. I did. I wanted to fix him. I wanted to see him grow and heal and if I loved him hard enough for the both of us, it would’ve evened out eventually… right?

I failed.

He was always who he was, but I was young and naive and ready to fix the whole world. When I was 18 and we were free, I would’ve told you he saved me. Now that I’m in my 30’s… and he’s in prison and I’m in limbo.. I don’t know what I’d tell you. He didn’t save me, but he didn’t destroy me either. I had every opportunity to tap out and give up.. but I grew into a person I might not have been if I never met him.

Am I angry? All of the time.

Am I scared? Yes.

I see things more clearly now though. People talk about how you never know someone’s story, and that’s because we are experts at playing pretend like we have it all figured out until we’re alone and have to face truest selves. The facade is the hardest thing to give up. Some people saw through mine and there are others, who have built their own, that never will. I share posts about what I’ve learned, how I see people, how I’ve try to treat people with grace and teach children with love and patience in hopes that a little of that sinks into whoever it reaches, but I very rarely show the journey. Partly because I know the details are gruesome and that’s not for everyone, but mostly because I’m scared.

How will you see me?

What will you think?

I’m learning that I’m not this big awful thing that happened to me. I was never anyone’s property and I’m not chained to it anymore. I was very much lied to and manipulated and hurt long enough that it flipped onto me and I carried it without missing a step. I wanted to love him so much that I would heal him. Instead, he “loved” me so much it almost killed me, and he did call it love. Enough times that he re-defined it and I didn’t use that word for a very long time in any meaningful situation. He, for better or for worse, drastically changed the trajectory of my life.

But it’s ok.

I’m wounded but I’m healing. I’m lonely, but I’m learning how to slowly welcome more people in and step out of my comfort zone. If I’m being honest, I’m relearning a lot of things, including how to exist in a world where I have room to make mistakes and fail. I can say or do the wrong thing and be gently corrected for it by my people and move on … sans violence. There are no words for amount of relief I feel because of that truth.

Is it over? No.

He was sentenced to 7 years last year and every year around mid July early August there is an opportunity to apply for an appeal based on his behavior, which will always be immaculate because he is not as tough as he thinks he is. This means that if he applies and it goes to trial, I’m also notified and have to reappear, show any new evidence, and reexplain why he needs to stay there for the safety of others and myself. Telling my story once a year on a whim to a room full of strangers, always men, so they can decide my fate, as well as the fate of this “upstanding young man with a good head on his shoulders” (actual words used during my initial rape/domestic abuse trial against him), was never what I imagined finally turning him in would look like. I really never thought that after everything, his sentence wouldn’t even be as long as our relationship. The original sentence was 5 years. After he got out on a Governor Cuomo Covid related prison loophole and broke his parole almost immediately, he was sentenced to another 2 on top of that. He has 6 left. We talk about how flawed our system is, but really seeing it is a different kind of punch. Women aren’t believed. There’s a reason so many of these crimes go unreported, and why so many women die at the hands of angry men. The hoops you have to jump through are miles high and on fire, and when you and the advocate show up armed only with your truth, your tears and a little evidence from one night at a bar when he got to drunk and forgot he was in public, it’s very easy for a judge to rule on the softer side. Because, as you all know, we’d never want to ruin a wealthy mans life unless there’s cold, hard, reason to.

Seeing his face when they read out his sentence, after years of terror, was satisfying to say the least and if I hadn’t been so numb to get through the hearing, I would’ve enjoyed it more. I will never forget going to a trusted friends house after that hearing and being completely overwhelmed with all of the emotions. Relief, guilt, sadness, anger, happiness, fear.. so many I couldn’t express.. all at once because the novocain wears off and numb isn’t forever and I fell asleep with their dog after a lot of crying. I’d be lying though if I said that 18 year old in me didn’t feel a loss. I grew up with incredible grandparents that did amazing things in teaching me how to love people and be a good human, but no one can protect us from everything. I also grew up with a mother who fights demons of her own and never had the capacity to love two kids. In a situation like that, someone becomes the punching bag. I became the punching bag and desperately looked for ways out, an opportunity to run.. and I ran right into him, who accepted me with open arms for the first time in my young, very inexperienced life.. and I followed him blindly and he was my whole world. Until I was 27, I didn’t have a guide. By the grace of God I landed into a community in Florida that slowly helped me realize my worth.

So.. what now.

How do we fix what our parents and past broke?

How do you reparent yourself?

The mental health journey is proving to be my biggest struggle yet. There’s no more outside factors, it’s just me and the lies that have fed me for years and altered how I think and feel and understand the world. I can feel myself frustrating people I’ve let close to me. I feel myself getting nervous and pushing people away. Sometimes I can catch it and regroup, other times that nasty little voice is too loud and I’m exhausted. My goodness though, how cool is it to learn so much about yourself? I know I have the capacity to love that broken part of me eventually, but it’s still hard to face. Getting to learn and understand the reason behind your actions is terrifyingly amazing. I am proud of this journey. Even when I don’t always come up on top. It’s hard to see the progress while you’re in it, but laying it all out like this.. I can safely say I’m never going to be that 18 year old girl ever again. Some days this journey looks different, some days the darkness wins, because healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it’s one step forward, 2 steps back… but nothing is too broken to fix.. and I will never call that darkness home again.

#lonliness #abuse survivor #survivor #domestic violent relationships #domestic violence #processing

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whyarewecalledtheshipname · 3 years

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PFFF OKAY YALL GET READY CAUSE IM HERE TO SCREAM ABOUT BARBIE

in CASE y’all didn’t know, barbie is hella gay. so gay. all of her shows, all of her movies, they’re always about barbie and her “friendship” with other girl characters.

which of course means these things are ripe for lesbian interpretations.

and i am no barbie expert but back in like 2008 there was this barbie movie released called “Barbie and the Diamond Castle” and it’s already a relatively p well know gay barbie movie. BUT GOODNESS ITS SO GOOD.

yeah the animals are barbie animals so of course they’re hella weird and have human anatomy for some horrific reason but in general the movie is pure fluff between these two girls, barbie and her gf.

i love this movie possibly due to nostalgia but now i see how gay it is and love it even more.

AH but anyway the reason i came to scream was because i wanted to scream about the MUSICCC like barbie and her gf are CONSTANTLY duetting in this movie and the songs are amazing—

and ofc i had to make them about soriku because MY GOSH these are PRIME soriku songs

“Two Voices, One Song”, “Connected”, “Believe”, OMG so good in general but when i say these are soriku songs i meeaannn it like they are the reason i even made up my soriku barbie au in the first place lol

just the titles—a connection between hearts. two voices coming together to make a song, believing in dreams—WHEN I SAY I HAVE NO BREATH

lmao i was trying to decide what lyric to quote and got overwhelmed just THINKING about it lmaooo

for example tho: “If i could wish for one thing, i’d take the smile that you bring.

Wherever you go in this world i’ll come along.

Together we dream the same dream.

Forever i’m here for you, you’re here for me.

Two voices, one song.”

LIKEEEE i had to include the whole chorus bc smiles!! wishes! riku 😭

“the way we know the parts by heart and sing out loud” whhhhh hearts in tuneeee

Then CONNECTED is just:

“It’s not an accident the time we spent apart,

but now we’re so close i can always find you right here in my heart.

You’ve given me something i need, and i don’t ever want it to end.

Because of you, i know i’ve found my strength again.”

I CANT CONTAIN IT. this is SO soriku it’s inSAne. being apart only to come closer together in the end? finding your strength bc of the one you love??? uh??? kh2??? kh3??

and those last two songs are DUETS LIKE——

“Believe” has to be one of my faves tho, i mean, the CHORUS. THIS CHORUS.

“Believe in all that can be.

A miracle starts whenever your dream.

Believe and sing from your heart, you’ll see,

Your song will hold the key.”

IF THIS ISNT THE DDD ANTHEM IDK WHAT IS oh my goodness 😭😭😭

this whole song, “Believe”, is about believing in what you can’t see with your eyes alone.

“Sometimes what’s real is something you can’t see.”

like?????????

“Believe in all that can be.

Ask with your heart and you will receive.

Believe, the beauty is yours to see.

Your song will hold the key.”

WHY DOES ALL THE IMAGERY LINE UP SO WELL I cannot

hearts and songs and miracles and dreams and keys likeeeeee this is DDD to a T pls helppp

this movie is such a blessing, my lord. i had to scream about it here bc i needed some “wholesome” soriku rn 🥺🥺🥺🥺

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demwhore · 4 years

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Rocketeer (N.YT)

Pairing: Jaeger Pilot! Yuta & Female Reader

featuring some nct and wayv members

Jaeger! au | Pacific Rim! au

Description: It takes high courage to ride a Jaeger and to kill a Kaiju.

Or: Yuta deadpanned, “I’m a fucking Jaeger pilot. That is something I should boast about.”

words ➙ 15k

genre ➙ sci-fi, angst, romance, action, fantasy, smut

warnings ➙ major character death, graphic description of monsters, physical violence, language, scenes of making out, smut

A/N ➙ I am deeply inspired by the movie, Pacific Rim. However, i made some changes in the plot. This was rushed, im sorry. This wasn’t proofread, I apologize for some grammatical errors. This took me a while to write but it was worth it. Happy Reading! Kindly reblog and like! <3

P.S ➙ I edited the fic poster using photoshop cs4 and polarr. All credits (pictures used) belong to the perspective owners (sm entertainment & the creators of Pacific Rim) that edit took me ages (please credit me if you wanted to repost the edit, don’t let my efforts go to waste D:) I also created the moodboard (in the teaser), all pictures used are from pinterest. I had to cry blood while editing oml lol, however it was enjoyable and im drooling for yuta pls claim me

Playlist ➙ rocketeer by far east movement, surrender by cash cash, i’m feeling good by michael bublé, pacific rim by ramin djawadi & tom morello

Tags ➙ @shinseobs [hi tiff, ily so much!], @insomni-writing [hi somni, thank you for proofreading the draft, ur the best!], @jaehyunspaghetti [hi bby, i hope u are doing well!], @neocultvretechs [hi my lovely kai, i hope u enjoy my little yuta fic offering to u], @milkinqjungs [love u], @jaextapose [ruth ur the best ;)], and all the yuta stans out there!

Kaiju ( 怪獣, かいじゅう, kaijū) Strange, Giant Beast.

Jaeger (yāɡər, German) Hunter.

“Is this a gift for winning against the Kaijus?”

Yuta murmured, “Ask me to fuck you, and I’ll glady do it.”

You whispered back, “Then do it.”

He responded well; responded to a need he could no longer control. He was driven by lust, passion and determination. Yuta crashed his lips onto yours. Your lips parted on a quiet moan; your hands busy hovering over your boyfriend's body. Instantly, you cling onto him, having his body as your support. Both of your mouths; busy, wild, willing, driven with so much anticipation. Breaths ragged. Darkened eyes. Yuta pressed his body onto you more, you felt giddy; his erection throbbing against your core. Your body vibrated against his; similar with a string plucked with so much force; like a plucked harp. His heart pounded hard against his chest, his hands exploring your body; every curve of you that drives him insane in his room at the Underbase. Your hollows that tormented him. You alone, made him drive to insanity, and he’s living for it. Every cell in your body screamed for only Nakamoto Yuta, your core ached for him, and him alone. Every need Yuta felt was only for you. Only you.

“I missed you.” You whispered the moment he left your mouth to dive into your exposed shoulders. Kissing your clavicles, leaving purple marks every suck he took. Yuta didn’t stop as he marked every exposed column of your throat. You tugged at his dirty blonde locks. Your breast rose and fell against his needy touches. “I missed you so much.”

Being a Jaeger pilot means sacrifice. Being deployed to far bases, away from each other. Fighting off Kaijus as if it’s the end of the fucking world. And the constant feel of fear never leaving both of your systems. Questions running through both of your minds, will you still see Yuta after a mission? Will he still see you? Will both of you survive? The world you both live in is so complicated to the extent; complex. Both of you always believed that the world is as alive as the inhabitants were. There is life everytime you look up at the skies. The celestial body is as alive as humans are. It was really fascinating. That is what both you and Yuta thought when you were both highschoolers; turns out the world has made a whole one-hundred and eighty turn; both of you were looking in the wrong direction. There was no life above but beneath. When alien life dominated the Earth it originated deep down the waters of the Pacific Ocean. Their entryway came from the fissure of the two tectonic plates; Pacific and Southern Plate. A made portal from hell to Earth. The Breach.

Yuta breathed and looked at your eyes. Those tantalizing eyes that never failed to make Yuta in awe. He had seen how those eyes morphed into different emotions. Lust, fear, love, sadness and Yuta loved it, so much. Yuta could still remember the first landing of the Kaiju at his hometown, Osaka. He held your hands, and ran as far as he could bringing you out of the chaos you were in.

He was vulnerable that time, young, not older than fifteen. He heard how loud the roars resonated from the giant beast. He saw how every infrastructure, made meticulously by humans, crumpled under one swing of the Kaiju. Yuta heard every alarm wail around his neighborhood, every shattered glass, every startled cry, including yours. That is the time Yuta swore, to fight off to the last of his breath, to protect you because he loved you so much. You don’t deserve any of this fucking mess.

Your skin was flushed, your eyes slumberous, as you slid down your hands to cup his face. “When I was there, fighting, all I could think was you. And all I know is, I love you so much.” Your words touched him, he had his hands framing your cheeks. He smiled, “I will kill every Kaiju so they won’t block my way into you. I’ll fight for you, my love, for us.” You raised a trembling finger, “I want to be alone with you. I will be deployed again tomorrow in Hong Kong. Make me yours tonight, Yuta.”

“That’s far, I’ll be staying here. But your plan is what I can’t argue with.” Your head was spinning, vision blurred into daze. Yuta looked at you as if you were a shimmering glass of cool water and he cannot control himself but to indulge you, as he was a man with a desperate thirst. You approached his face again but you dodged his lip, he grew impatient at your actions. You nibbled his right lobe and his familiar musky scent filled your senses. That scent that you always miss to smell every time you are on a mission. It made your heart thud. Nakamoto Yuta could drive you mad. “We are in the corridor of our base. I don’t want the marshal seeing us fuck here. Which room is closest?”

Yuta breathed out, “Mine.”

“Do you perhaps know an elevator that is barely used? I can’t let people see me in this kind of state.”

Yuta kissed you again, nibbling your lips. You elicited a quiet moan. “Trust me, people are almost asleep at this hour.” He linked his fingers onto yours and dragged you towards the elevator. The lift gave a sudden jolt. You turned around to capture Yuta’s swollen lips. Murmuring, “I want to feel you.” You scrambled and yanked away his tie, undo-ing his shirt, the buttons shoved aside the stanched material. A hum of pleasure surged on Yuta’s throat while you explored his chest; savoring the power of sinew and muscle underneath. You used a fingertip to trace his nipple, then your mouth replaced your fingertips in an instant. Yuta gasped and whispered incoherent cusses. His body lurched, beneath your plump lips you could feel his heart jolt at your sudden actions. Yuta groaned, he looked at you with half-hooded eyes, “You’ll be the death of me, (Y/N).”

You didn’t answer him, instead you tugged into his nipple using your teeth. “Fuck, (Y/N).”

The elevator halted. Yuta immediately scooped you around his torso. He squeezed your ass, making you yelp in surprise. His mouth took yours, initiated a dazzling, dizzying kiss. Your blood heated against his touch, it was hot like a burning flash against your skin, roaring through your core. One moment you felt a wall behind you, and Yuta trapped you and captured your lips once again. He sighed, then growled, “I want you naked.”

“Open your room, mister.” He assisted you down and approached his doors. He held the keys with a shaky hand. With a lot of effort he shoved the door wide and yanked your arm. The door shut with a loud thud. Yuta pushed your figure towards the door. He shoved your shirt out from your shoulders, down your arms. For thrilling moments, Yuta’s dark look made your core throb with so much anticipation. The need raged, clawed inside her systems like a resident virus as his teeth seared off your exposed chest. Yuta wrapped your ponytail into his hands, then arched it towards the left to devour onto your exposed, now marked throat. You were a moaning mess, eyes shut at the delicious feeling Yuta is making you feel. He then neglected your throat, then claimed your lips once again. The vague sense of warmth enclosing both of your bodies. Your top is completely removed leaving you in your tank top and bra. Yuta was still completely dressed. Both of you staggered as you tried to push him away to undress him. He shoved you again to the nearest wall, his pounding erection making you cry out, you want him, badly. You thrusted against his bulge. Yuta’s breath hitched, following a harsh rasp through his lips. He caught your face, eyes dark as midnight, he stared down at you, “You want this?”

“Yes. Fuck me all you want, Yuta.”

On a vicious oath, he yanked your tank top. With an expert flick of his fingers, he unhooked you bra and yanked it off. Yuta’s hand is now at your waist, tight, he lifted you off your feet to take your breast into his mouth. The air around you thickened. Your breath snagged, in both of your lungs, as you arched back giving him more access, your fingers gliding down his shoulder blades. Yuta’s mouth fed sucked, his teeth scraping erotically on your tensed, aching, budded nipple, You whimpered against the wall, the mixture of pain and pleasure taking a toll on you, you were desperately calling out for his name, your pussy pounding, panties soaked.

“Oh, god, Yuta. I can’t.”

“You can.” He lowered downwards. Your stomach, then your navel. He let go of your waist then he kneeled. Unbuckling your jeans and sliding it down in a tormenting manner. He then, twirled the lace of your panties, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “That’s it, be wet for me.” He pulled down the fabric down to your ankles, your eyes shutting at his touches. He parted your legs, then slid a slim finger onto your folds. You gasped. “Oh fuck.”

“Can you lie down?”

“On the floor?”

“I’m impatient.”

Yuta is shining, with sweat with the lamp light above both of you. You immediately lay down, the floor was cold. The sudden cold contact making you hiss, but you couldn’t care less. Yuta teasingly rubbed your labia, in a tortuous slow pace. Yuta gave a triumphant smile. He felt a sense of pride making you mewl onto the floor because of his touches. You shutted your eyes, moaning at the contact. His slim fingers going in slow directions; up and down. It was smooth with your juices oozing out. You couldn't bear with his teaching, you grabbed his wrist to push it into your core further. “Woah, woah, excited?”

“I hate you.”

He rubbed your clitoris; in a slow, sensual, circular manner and it made you gasp for air. You were now a moaning mess. Your eyes screw shut, your mind went haywire; black; full of desire and all you could think was Yuta’s fingers; torturing you erotically. It felt heavenly. After your clit, he dragged his fingers downwards, his other hand spreading your legs more apart. He slides in two fingers with ease, dragging your walls. Your hands clenched. Yuta dragged your arousal into his fingers. Then left you there, hanging, waiting for more. You peeked up, brows furrowed, but the sight in front of you was a masterpiece. Yuta looked like someone who was crafted by Michael Angelo; he knelt there, he looked ethereal; golden, in the yellow hue of his lamp, his slim fingers glistening with your juices, eyes locked into yours; dark as the midnight, full of lust. He licked his fingers and slid it all into his mouth. The flash of passion, the fury of need that darkened his eyes, filled with a sense of decadent power, as you laid there, all ready for him. Time and place was a virtue, but all you wanted was to spend your nights with him, only him.

“You really want to fuck me here? You’ve got a damn bed, Yuta.”

“Later.” The sight before him was something so lovely and intricate. The need you felt for him was primitive, overwhelming. You scrambled out from your position and one moment Yuta felt your greedy hands unbuckling his belt and unhooking his pants. He watched you in amusement, he didn’t complain, more; let you do your own will. You never moved so fast in your life, you undressed him so fast, it even surprised you. Yuta dragged you down onto the floor again, the coolness of the tiles against her back made her register to her dazed mind. Yuta leaned over. His mouth feasting over your flesh, greedy hands roaming and racing around your quivering body in a ruthless manner. Heat pumped into both of your systems. You felt yourself going warm, soft, melting into his touch. Becoming one. Your mouths connected once again. Hot and greedy. Salivas connecting. You nipped onto his lips, chest. Fingers grazing and digging into the hard ridge of his shoulders. Both of you couldn’t get enough of each other; savouring pore by pore. He palmed you, again. You gasped at the sudden touch, it sent shivers to your spine. His fingers went down to your core, moving against your heat, relentlessly building you up, the drive, the need for release clawing viciously.

“Look at me, (Y/N).” His hair is mopped overhead. Damped, but still beautiful as it is. “I love you.” The shadows around you seemed to shift while your fingers stroked. His fingers are still busy devouring your core. Sensation slid after sensation, building inside you, in trembling, shuddering layers, then exploded. Your vision blurred; a half sob tore from your lips. Strength gone, you lay there motionless, air around is thick with ragged breaths and sex. Your heartbeat stumbled. Yuta caressed his shaft, then the head; red, oozing with pre-cum.

“You’ll hate me more.” Yuta grinned as he slammed his throbbing cock onto you. A sob of pure, overwhelming pleasure eased up your throat. You heard both of your flesh clicking with every move Yuta made. The air smelt of sex. Dark. Your body opened and joined with his. Arching, you meet his heavy thrusts lifting your hips after his attacks, moving in a desperate manner, urging him on “Shit, you feel so good.” In that fleeting moment, in the deep night. You understood, there will be no other man in your mind, only the man in front of you, deep, thrusting, Yuta was only the one. The one.

Underbase. South Korea

Yuta sat alone. He stared at your sleeping figure on his bed. The marks lingered on your neck like wild berries. He felt his arms shake uncontrollably. He stood up in his black boxers; and approached the medication box just inside his drawers. He searched for the familiar capsule. Chloroquine. His breathing steadied, and found the strength to look at your figure again. His subconscious is having an internal battle with his heart. He drank his medication and went to the bed with you. Your skin glowed like warm honey. Yuta whispered in, “I will stop loving you until the last rose dies.”

Yuta and you have been in ups and downs. Of which included; surviving the Kaiju attacks.

Yuta could still remember that devastating day. Indistinct radio chatters. Government jets. Explosions. Roars. Chaos. By the time the Kaiju was taken down by tanks and jets, exactly seven days and 40 miles later, three cities were already destroyed. Tokyo, Kyoto, and his hometown, Osaka. Thousands of lives were lost, including those of his beloved parents. The city mourned for the lost souls, memorialized the ones who died because of the giant beast, and the people slowly moved on. Three months later, there was another attack. Taiwan. The beast shattered Taipei. People clamoring, people killed, the toxic blood of the beast painting the streets a vibrant blue. Then, another attack hit Los Angeles, the same destruction happening, the same trauma. Again, it was stopped. Then and there, the people learned and realized. The attacks wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon. Everything that happened was just the beginning. The calm before the storm. There was something waiting out there, something more grotesque, more destructive.

There both of you entered the dangerous world of being a Jaeger pilot.

The nation had been reborn, and set an alliance in order to be better prepared in case of another upcoming Kaiju attack. Resources were clamped together to build an indestructible weapon against the Kaijus. For the sake of the innocent lives, for the sake of their own sanity and peace. The people created their own version of the Kaiju. The Jaeger program was created. At first, there were a series of malfunctions and setbacks. A single pilot couldn’t withstand the neural load to catch up and interface with a Jaeger, the strain so powerful that it could cause intracranial nerve damage. And so, the two-pilot system was proposed. The left pilot for the left hemisphere and the right pilot for the right hemisphere.

With the Jaeger, the people started winning, soon being able to stop attacks of the Kaijus everywhere. Then came the propaganda. Kaiju and Jaeger toys. The Jaeger pilots became celebrities. Everything was going smoothly, all success falling into the people’s palm.

Then, it all changed.

“Alert Gipsy Danger. Kaiju movement spotted at Bay 10. Code name. Kaiju Sharp Snout. Category 3. 9,000 metric tons.”

Yuta scrambled immediately out of his bunk bed. He whispered and shook your figure lightly, “I need to go, I love you.” You groaned in response. He made a sudden jump and knocked at the door of his younger co-pilot, Mark, aggressively.

Mark’s door is slightly ajar. Yuta made himself in, further waking up the younger boy. “Wake up, Canada Boy. There’s Kaiju movement at the breach,” He slapped the bed of Mark’s lightly, “We are deployed to baby Mark-03.” He said in reference to the nuclear powered Jaeger. The machine they were piloting, Gipsy Danger, was Yuta and Mark's pride and joy. Mark opened the door to his room and Yuta moved in his room, and approached his cabinet and put on a grey t-shirt.

Mark groaned, “Not a good morning to you.”

Yuta smirked, “It’s a good morning to kick some Kaiju ass. Road to seven wins.”

Mark wiped his eyes, “What time is it?”

“Two.”

Mark made a face, “In the morning?”

Yuta grinned while fixing his cross necklace, “Yep.”

“Why are you so pumped up all of a sudden?”

Mark glanced behind Yuta’s shoulder and saw your sleeping figure on his bed. Their rooms were just interconnected with a single door as a barrier. He gave the older pilot a smirk. Mark’s unanswered questions are answered; Yuta was the sole reason of the sudden moaning at twelve fucking midnight.

“What category is it?”

“Three, the biggest one, yet.”

Mark narrowed his eyes, “Code name?”

“Sharp Snout.”

Yuta approached the younger boy and made a playful fist bump with him. “It’s superhero time.”

Mark gave him a toothy grin. A knock disrupted the two from the main door of their rooms. A male voice grunted from the other side of the steel door.

“Hey, Handsomes, time for the drop.”

Mark made his way to the bathroom, “Who gave them that code name?”

“Me.”

Mark gave Yuta a questionable look, “Handsome? Really?” then grinned afterwards. “Don’t get a big head, hyung. Also, tell (Y/N) I said hi after our mission.”

By the time Yuta and Mark were preparing for their mission, you were still asleep. The boots of the two young bachelors clinked towards the steel platform. Yuta and Mark met when there was a Jaeger Pilot sign up in Japan. Yuta and Mark had a similar childhood experience, having lost their families because of the Kaiju Attack. They weren’t the stars among their classes, never have been selected for an urgent attack. However, there was one thing that made the two exceptional among all the Jaeger pilots; they were drift compatible. They had a strong bond which made their fights more successful. The drift compatibility was, in essence, two completely different systems conjoined together to create an enormous battle defense against an intruder. Finding a drifting partner was like searching for your other half, your other soul. Yuta didn’t want to have you as his co-pilot; he gets distracted by your beauty easily.

Yuta and Mark arrived at the drop facility. The workers assisted the two in wearing their titanium metal suit, tools whirring, a metal spinal cord attached to their back. The two pilots gave each other playful glances. They wore matching white helmets, a yellow liquid dispersing downwards.

“Data on Helmet. Data relay gel dispersing on circuit plots.”

The machine gave a low hum. The lights flicked on, the others following. The heavy secured door opened with a loud hiss. Yuta and Mark entered, each stride followed by a clank. The attachment metal descended, a loud swish coming from its origin. It looked like a harness, but there was no attachment on the pilot’s torso; the metal straps are only connected to the arms and foot. Yuta and Mark placed both of their feet on the pedal platform, then the equipment wrapped around their soles and ankles, securing both of them tightly. It gave an impression as if they are flying mid-air, the security straps hidden behind their lavish suits. The staff whirred the screw onto their backs, the driller machine turning the screw aggressively. Another metal, similar to a handcuff automatically attached on the boy’s wrists, clicking after each wrist. Then a circular device was connected to their palms, a light emitting from its center. A circular plot on Mark’s right palm and another on Yuta’s left palm.

A voice came out from the p.a system.

“Good morning, handsome boys.”

Yuta grinned and pressed the overhead controller, “Taeil, what’s up, my man?”

Taeil chuckled, “Mightier than ever. Won an algebra quiz.”

Yuta pressed the button again, “Having a sexy brain makes you so attractive, brother.”

Mark pressed in his buttons calling out to Taeil, “How was the date? Did you score?” Then the two laughed boisterously.

Taeil smirked from his station and levelled the mic onto his plump lips, “She loved me, that’s a giveaway, however, someone was barking. I will leave it to you guys to imagine what exactly that was.” Taeil went on a blind date, however, it didn’t go as well as he’d planned. The girl’s father didn’t fancy him at all.

Yuta groaned, “That must’ve hurt your ego, man.”

Taeil clicked his tongue, “Have established my ego and pride for several years. That one was chicken.”

Marshal Lau entered in his navy suit, “Engage the drop, Mr. Moon.”

Taeil’s body jerked up in surprise and he cleared his throat, “Engaging drop, Sir.” The hologram flashed in front of Taeil's face as he typed down the keyboard, vigorously. A bracelet lingered on his wrist. He spoke towards his mic again, “Marshal Lau on deck.” He pushed the button on his console, then jutted the controller similar to a joystick in an upward direction, “Securing conn pad, then, we are ready to drop.”

The staff from the conn pad attached the steel with the shape of a bowtie. The steel conjoined with a loud hiss.

“Conn pad attached, Sir Taeil. Back door secured.”

Yuta and Mark pressed the p.a button, “Ready for the drop.”

Yuta voiced out, “Gipsy Danger ready for the big drop.”

From a distance, the place Yuta and Mark are in, is actually a robot head. It was gigantic, it had a black exterior, the eyes that looked similar to a windshield, are colored a bright yellow. The air around it swooshed, steam coming out of the pipes. Then, the robot head dropped in an instant. The two pilot’s stomach churned as the head plunged from a high altitude.

Yuta hissed, “Here comes the roller coaster ride.”

Mark answered back, “Never was my favorite.”

Gipsy Danger’s head attached on its enormous torso. The two groaned at the impact of the drop, but recollected immediately. The head descended and locked onto its open neck. The head tilted towards the right, and a series of chains connected to each other.

“Connection complete, Sir.”

“Engage the pilot-to-pilot protocol now.”

Taeil typed in again, “Engaging pilot-to-pilot program in three, two, one,” he clicked a button, “Now.”

An AI voice sounded from the speakers, “Pilot-to-pilot sequence, protocol engaging.”

Gipsy Danger’s neck continued to move, securing all the heavy duty alloy into their places. The gaps from the neck closed in an instant. The enormous robot’s center core illuminated a high glow of red, the internal part turning in a fast, clockwise direction. The tower cranes moved away. The platform beneath the Jaeger’s feet moved slowly. The marshallers waved their luminous sticks guiding the moving vehicle with care. The doors of the base opened; violent waves flashed the bottom and strong winds blew into the base.

“Gipsy Launch. Bay nine.”

Mighty gales. Rain. Thunder Strikes. Gipsy stood out despite the storm eating in. Several lights luminated from the robot; the topmost head, chest, legs, the forearms. There were indistinct radio chatters heard, and the helicopters flew against the tempest. The moving platform dropped slowly into the water, creating a huge wave from the impact.

Taeil pressed several other buttons from the overhead console. “Gipsy Danger, ready and aligned, Sir.”

Marshal law leaned onto the microphone, “Rangers, this is Marshal Lau. Prepare for the neural handshake.”

Taeil moved again. His fingers grazing the buttons, the hologram screen illuminated robot parts and the brain; both left and right hemisphere shown. “Initiating neural handshake in fifteen seconds.” Taeil started counting downwards while typing vigorously, making sure the programs are set well. An image of the brain turned against the screen, “Ten.”

Marshal Lau observed the holographic screen, then took a peek at his watch. It was past three already.

“Eight.”

From the Gipsy, Mark pressed some buttons, then looked at Yuta. “I really can’t hide my secrets from you.”

Yuta tsk-ed, shaking his head, “Do the honor of stepping into my brain first.”

“Pilot-to-pilot sequence, protocol engaging. Neural handshake initiated.”

Mark and Yuta stood there, and closed both of their eyes. Both of the pilot’s visions looked like a big whirlpool; making them remember the significant memories of their past, then a blackout, then another memory. Each could read and see the latter’s memory. This was called the Drift. Jaeger Technology. Based on the fighter program neural systems. The two pilots mind-meld each other’s memories with the body of the giant machine. The deeper the bond shared between the two pilots, the stronger they fight.

A gigantic loading screen flashed on Taeil’s screen. “Neural handshake complete. Strong and deep.”

Marshal Lau stood behind him, staring deeply.

Yuta raised his left palm, the circular device illuminated. “Left hemisphere calibrating.”

Mark did the same, raising his right, the device glowed after his movements, “Right hemisphere calibrating.”

Both of the pilots moved simultaneously, raising one arm after another and throwing a punch. The gigantic machine followed the action of the two; lifting its gigantic arms then flexing them afterwards. The control and movement originated from its main base, the head from the two pilots engaged.

The female AI voiced out, “Calibration completed.”

Marshal Lau breathed then spoke, “Gentlemen, your orders are to hold and block Kaiju from entering Manila's waters. Copy?”

Yuta answered, “Copy, Marshal.”

Mark spoke, pressing the button from his overhead controller, “Sir, there is movement on the west coast. A fishing vessel--”

“Rangers, we are not risking millions of lives for a vessel that contains twenty. Orders are orders, understood?”

The two rangers answered at once, “Yes, Sir.”

Yuta pressed the button to cancel the message transmitting from the base. He gave Mark a stern gaze.

Mark gulped, “Is he serious?”

Yuta gave him a determined look, “Mark, you know what I have in mind?”

Mark’s lips pressed into a thin line, “Our minds are connected, I’m basically in there.”

Yuta grinned, “I know. Let’s go for some fish.”

Mark gave a lopsided smile, “Then, here we go!”

The two pilots made a step. The left then lifted their rights. It took great effort to take a stride with the machine. The two pilots were suspended mid-air; starting from their feet, there was an enormous chain turning into a clockwise direction from every movement made by the rangers. The Jaeger took big strides along the waters. The machine stood about two-hundred fifty feet; complex, weaponry used as defense for the alien life domination. Gipsy Danger walked in the waters as if not fazed by the violent thunders and winds blowing its enormous metal body. There are phenomena that are impossible to fight with; hurricanes, rain, thunderstorms— all acts of God. However, when you are in a Jaeger, everything impossible could be made possible. Being in a Jaeger meant, winning, defending everything coming at your way.

Shores of Manila

From the mile anchorage. The fishing vessel was wiped by the aggressive waters of the peninsula. The boat swayed carelessly along the violent waves, heavy currents hit the hull of the water vessel, splashing water everywhere its bow. The fishermen yelled instinctively while chaining their equipment to the post. Slipping on the deck, panicking and helpless. They were soaked while they ran around the open cabin to secure every paraphernalia in place; their yellow raincoat stood out in the dark storm, the wind tackling them out of their posture. A man in his mid-forties; with an Indian descent, trotted inside the cockpit. Another man, an African-American, controlled the helm, whirring it towards the right. The radar beeped loudly. The windshield wipers were busy; vigorously wiping the windows, left and right.

The man in his forties yelled out of his lungs, “How long is the port from Manila?!”

The man behind the wheel answered, speaking on top of his lungs, “Ten miles, Sir!”

An old man, from the right of the driver; wearing a beanie, roared while staring at the radar, “We’ll be dead by the time we reach Manila!”

The storm makes it hard for them to communicate; the only thing that is effective is through shouting on top of their lungs in attempts to hear each other, while the wind is aggressively slapping the vessel from left to right. The Indian shouted back, pointing at the radar. A green light blinked after his taps, “What about that island by the east? Two miles?!”

The American answered him, “It’s a mile, Sir!” He yanked the wheel again, stirring towards the East direction, “The island is getting closer!”

The old man in a beanie cried out, “How the hell is the island getting closer?! We ain’t even accelerating forward!”

The Indian caught his tongue, and stared intently ahead. The radar was beeping rapidly. The waves splashed and an enormous black rock came into a view. The island. The American shouted, his tone hinting victory “The island!”

The Indian shook his head, “It’s no island. Kaiju.”

The enormous monster swam across the waters. Its back was hunched, rising up and down from the waters.The Kaiju gave a low growl, its feet dragging heavily along the floors of the ocean. It was massive and its scales luminated a cerulean blue. This beast was neither lithe, nor blessed with grace. Its beady eyes glinted a deep black; upright soulless and evil. Underneath the drone of the rain there came another sound. At first it was quite indistinct, but as it drew closer to the vessel where the fishermen huddled, it became louder. A deafening growl that was bone-shrieking. The Kaiju swam fast, approaching the vessel in an instant.

The man in his forties cried, panic surging up his systems. “Fucking hell! Turn the vessel around!”

The Kaiju stood up. Standing about hundreds of feet. Yellow lines lingered around its back. A blue illuminating its sharp nose. Its giant claws raised, about to ponder the vessel to pieces. Luckily, the vessel had swerved to the right, missing the blow of the monster. The Kaiju roared loud as the thunder struck from the skies. Its gigantic mouth had illuminated a warm blue glow; its tongue raveling out. A string of curses unraveled from the fishermen’s tongue, like yarn unfurling, as the Kaiju advanced. It's golden and blue scales shimmered with hot anger along with it's dark, cold, greyish eyes. Every step it took rattled their bones, struck their hearts, and shook the waters. The Kaiju stared down at the vessel, its beady eyes hungry, angry, dangerous. The men from the deck cried in agony and panic, “Oh God!”

Another one yelled, “What the hell?” As several splashes of water sprayed them from the deck. Gipsy Danger rose up from the waters, its light blinding the people from the vessel with an electronic buzzing. The center core of the enormous machine glowed a fiery red, turning in a steady, fast, circular direction. The Jaeger’s large right hand grabbed the vessel from its bottom. The fishermen ducked their heads; figures crouched on the deck, trembling in terror. The vessel rose up in the air, in the palm of the gigantic robot. The fishermen yelled.

A female robotic voice boomed from the pilot’s control center. “Fishing vessel secured.”

From Mark’s circular plot; a holographic image of the vessel was shown. “Adjust the torque!”

Yuta nodded and pressed the buttons from the overhead consoles, “Alright!”

“Torque secured.”

The Jaeger kneeled on its one foot and pivoted its body towards left, the right arms extended forward, releasing the vessel on the other part of the ocean; away from the roaring Kaiju. The Jaeger turned around and the two pilots quickly threw a right punch aiming towards its jaw. The Kaiju had a loud howl as it staggered backward, falling into the waters. The Kaiju quickly stood up in an attempt to attack the Jaeger, however, the machine had already mustered another blow, coming from the left arm. Smashing the creature's chest, Yuta and Mark both groaned while they raised both of their arms up in the air; fist closed to pound on the flat part of its sharp snout. The Kaiju’s head dropped into the waters; its mouth lighted up a sharp color of blue as it exhaled underneath the surface of the sea. It rose up again, and let out an angry shriek, advancing towards the Jaeger and smashing itself towards its torso. Yuta raised his left arm in defense, but the Kaiju was too fast, ripping some of the parts of the Jaegers arm. The pilots staggered on their places; the system beeping rapidly, they both shouted.

“Hyung! I’ll aim the missile! Hold the demon to its place!”

Yuta held its body; holding the sharp snout in place; the Kaiju protested against the stronghold of the machine. Gipsy Danger’s right arm transformed into a missile launcher; a circular beam ready to be launched. “Get it!”

The missile was launched. Three shots. They smashed right against the chest of the Kaiju. The monster gave a loud screech and fell from its back. The waters gave a loud splash after the downfall of the Kaiju.

From the base, Taeil read the beeping lights from his holographic scene. “Discharge reading, Sir. Plasma cannon released in the peninsula ten miles of Manila.”

Marshal Lau pressed in the p.a system, “Rangers, what the fuck just happened?”

Yuta smirked and pressed onto the p.a button from the overhead console to answer back, “Kaiju down, Sir. That makes that our seven.”

Marshal law yelled through the microphone, “You disobeyed a direct order! The plan is to avoid the Kaiju from entering the waters of Manila!”

Mark answered back, “We did, Sir! We released a launch and saved the vessel from being crumpled!”

Marshal Lau’s nostrils flared up, “Go back to the base, Now!”

The rangers grinned at each other. They had made the Marshal annoyed, again. Yuta pressed the button, “Okie dokie, Sir.” He pressed the button again, to cancel the p.a message transmitting to the base.

Taeil cried out loud, “Kaiju signature sending. I repeat, the Kaiju is still alive!”

Marshal Lau pressed the microphone again, yelling, “Rangers! The thing survived! Grab the vessel and return to your post now!”

Gipsy stood there in the waters, the two pilots frantically searching for the Kaiju. The waters glowed with the Kaiju’s blood; the ocean colored a fascinating shade of cerulean blue; despite its aesthetic appearance, it was highly toxic. The Marshal’s voice boomed into their p.a systems, “Gipsy, get out of there now!”

Gipsy lingered right, then left. It was still and quiet. Only the violent blowing of the winds were heard. Then, suddenly the creature attacked, taking the pilots in surprise. The Kaiju roared angrily and clawed at the machine. Gipsy held in the Kaiju’s mouth, controlling its attempt to eat out the machinery. Mark and Yuta grunted, as they swayed back and forth from the Kaiju’s impact.

Yuta yelled, “I got this!” He swung his arm, the machine’s fist shifting into a missile launcher. He then made an attack, taking a movement from below. The Kaiju swatted the arm then lashed with its sharp snout onto its shoulders, clawing the arm away from the source. Yuta screamed loud in pain as he held his left arm. The radar from Gipsy’s head beeped rapidly, the screen blinking a bold text of ‘Alert’.

Mark yelled through the mic, “Taeil hyung, we’ve been attacked!”

Taeil from the base, typed in. Gipsy’s figure flashing on his screen. He turned towards the Marshal, “Left arm, gone, Sir.”

Gipsy’s arm was clawed out by the Kaiju. With another attempt, the monster chomped on the arm, ripped it away and threw it towards the ocean. The Kaiju went mad; berserk; screeching as it violently attacked the Jaeger. Its right claw lashed onto the Jaeger’s head; where both pilots were stationed. The glass shattered as the Kaiju roared. Mark and Yuta swayed, ragged breath leaving their lips. The Kaiju have gone through the hull. It clawed up and managed to destroy the right side of the Jaeger’s head. Opening from Mark’s side.

Mark threw a panicked look towards Yuta, “Hyung, listen! You have to--”

Mark shouted loudly. Desperate, full of panic. He was so helpless. Mark wasn’t even able to finish his sentences as the Kaiju snatched his figure apart from the metal supporting him, his body flying away. Yuta cried out loud, “NO!”

From the hull, Mark’s spot was now empty, replaced with electricity and fires. Yuta screamed in agony, “NO!” He grunted as he was electrified. The computers were beeping rapidly. Red Alert. Alarms wailing. Yuta bit down his lips as he tried to raise his injured arm, transferring the circular plot on his right palm. The Kaiju gave a loud roar, advancing towards Gipsy, again. Pushing the machinery with brutal force. Yuta grunted as he staggered from his post. The monster growled and placed its sharp snout on the Jaeger’s chest. Yuta screamed, as jolts of pain shooted out his body. Yuta aimed the missile launcher. The creature was dominating, clawing and smashing against the Jaeger’s body. It roared after a huge attack. Then, again and again.

“Missile Loading”

The Kaiju chewed on the Jaeger as if it was a feast. Yuta yelled again. Then, he aimed directly at the gigantic monster’s chest. Three shots. There was a massive, blinding light. Darkness. Its body parts littered everywhere.

From Taeil’s screen, the red dot has disappeared in a blink of the eye. “Second missile, launched, Sir. No Kaiju signature noted.” He typed in again, “I’m not getting any signals.”

“I cannot reach Yuta, Sir.”

The Marshal walked away from the base. A sullen look painted his face. It was not a time to celebrate; they did ward off the Kaiju. However, they had lost another brave soul. Mark Lee fought until his very last breath.

Bali, Indonesia

“Grandma! Look what I found on the shores!”

The little girl showed her grandmother an old, rusty, robot toy; a Jaeger to be precise. Her grandmother gave her a pleasant smile, standing up from picking up shells. “That is absolutely beautiful my dear.”

“It is mama! I wanted to see one Jaeger someday!” She beamed at her grandmother, clapping her hands excitingly. Then the elderly shushed her, “Okay, you will! Now let us pick some shells, shall we?”

The younger girl nodded and crouched down and helped her grandmother to pick up several shells. All were pearly white, some with a tint of orange and pink, some long, others short. Loud footsteps were heard from the distance. The young girl peeked up, her eyes widening at the sight. She cried out loud, “MAMA!” The younger had wished for a Jaeger, and a Jaeger appeared. Mark 03, Gipsy Danger. Clattered and destroyed.

The grandmother raised a hand on her mouth. Surprised. “Oh my heavens.”

Gipsy staggered with every step it took. The machine creaking. Then suddenly, it fell on its knees and made a drop towards the ground. The machine powered down after the fall. The two ran towards the machine quickly. The elderly woman flailed her left arm, “Stay here!”

The grandmother approached the hull cautiously. Then she saw a figure crawling from the machine’s gigantic head. Yuta panted as he struggled to get out of the Jaeger. He quickly stood up. He looked like he was run down several times. His left arm suit was already busted, burned to the extent; pools of blood dripping down his forearm. From his left bicep were several vertical wounds. It was red and bloody. His helmet was cracked and staggered, almost collapsing. Everything was circulating, he couldn’t think straight, couldn’t clearly hear the words from the elderly woman. He felt as if he was drowning. Muffled voices. All he could think of was his younger brother, Mark Lee.

Yuta whispered while he turned around, “Mark... Mark? (Y/N)?” His legs couldn’t carry his weight anymore and he collapsed on the ground.

“Darling, quick! Call for help!”

The elderly woman held his face, “It’s gonna be okay. Hold on for a little longer.”

Could he hold on a little longer?

“Where the hell is Yuta?” You shook Taeil’s shoulder, tears welling in your eyes. The news of their expedition has made it through the Underbase. It was already four in the morning, yet, no signs of Yuta. No signs of Gipsy. This is what you feared. You did spend a lovely and memorable night with the love of your life but, is this the price you have to pay? Your fingers trembled, as you observed Taeil type in his keyboard. “Taeil, please find him.”

“I’m trying my best (Y/N). For now, calm down.”

“How can I calm down Taeil?”

“(Y/N), you know exactly how dangerous our job entails. Death chases after us, I hope you are aware of that.” You are. You’re not just ready to let go of him yet. Not now, never. You stood up again, this time, you roamed around the base. Looking at every monitor in sight; just to divert your attention. You told the marshal that you won’t be deploying bases not until they give out any information about Yuta. Hong Kong could wait. You would be needed if there is a brought mutilated Jaeger. After all, you have already settled with the restoration team and upgrades of the Jaegers. You were once a pilot, too, but Yuta was concerned about your health. The Jaeger tech is too much for your health; it almost had your ECG line flat that one moment you had a mission in China. You were also responsible with the cadet selection and combat training.

You blinked hard. Throat tightening. You gave an abstracted look then, took a deep breath and slowly initiated expiration. You felt the relaxation of your diaphragm and your lungs pushed out air. You licked your lips; it was already dry. The holographic screen of Taeil showed the maps of Manila, he zoomed in to the nearby countries surrounding the country. Tracing any signs of the Jaeger or Yuta. A staff from the other side of the room suddenly alerted the people inside the vicinity.

“A report came from Indonesia, Sir Moon.”

Taeil gave you a quick glance. “That guy has nine lives. Don’t worry, we’ll find him, (Y/N).”

Taeil’s voice boomed inside the control base, “Coordinates?”

“8.3405° S, 115.0920° E”

“Where is the call coming from?”

“Seminyak, Sir.”

“Prepare the chopper now!”

You approached Taeil’s figure, “I’ll come with your team!”

“(Y/N), no.”

“Why not?”

“Orders are orders, (Y/N).” You whipped your head towards the direction of the voice. Marshal Lau. You reacted, “Yuta is my boyfriend, I need to see him!”

The marshal nodded, “I know. But It could crowd the chopper. It’s much better if you’ll wait here.”

You tried to argue back but the marshal held up a hand, silencing you. He gave you a curt nod, “Orders, (Y/N).”

You stormed out in frustration. Fuck orders.

Yuta narrowed his eyes. He felt really exhausted. The elderly assisted him and managed to remove the suit from him; to let his body to breathe. The nasty wounds clinging onto his skin. Yuta tried to move his body, but he cannot move his distal muscles. And his fingers are shaking uncontrollably. He tried to remember when was the last time he had taken in his medication; one a.m, and he drank it while looking at your peaceful sleeping figure on his bed. The medication he had taken has already subsided. Now, he is suffering with uncontrollable muscle shaking, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He felt helpless, adding the fact that Mark was already gone. He wanted to diminish out. After all, his time was already set in a time bomb; time for Yuta was expensive, and there is no such thing as bargaining. The medics around the island checked upon him, and he didn’t sustain a concussion; but the mission surely left him an ugly scar. Thoughts swirling around his mind; was it really worth it to be a Jaeger pilot? Is it time to diminish the Jaeger tech of his system? The fire, determination, urge to kill and to protect the world from the enormous beast has threatened to fall down the day he piloted Gipsy Danger alone, and collapsed at the beach somewhere in Indonesia. Mark’s death is still taking a toll on him.

A large helicopter. Boeing CH-47 Chinook. Hovering in the air above the clinic he is currently housing at. It was painted a deep green and yellow, a heavy, military aircraft with a figure in dark glasses and helmet hunched over the controls. It swung around over the site, it's blades beating the air. Then settled on the ground. Yuta narrowed his eyes at the aircraft before him. The familiar emblem caught his eyes; a large sword that struck a Kaiju’s chest. He walked out of the site and approached the man that had jumped out of the vehicle.

“Nakamoto Yuta.”

Yuta called upon the name of the higher up before him, “Marshal.”

The Marshal nodded, “Now's not the time to mourn. My number one priority is your health.”

Yuta nibbled on his lips, “It’s always been our oath marshal. Mourn later, Kill Kaijus.”

“I also lost a brave soul. I’m sorry for your loss.”

Yuta furrowed his brows, then looked towards the Marshal intently, “Marshal, I have something to tell you concerning my health.”

The helicopter they rode flew high in the air. Passing through the familiar cities of Taiwan, China, Singapore, then they finally arrived in South Korea. Military time, 1800 hrs. Jaeger Station, South Korea.

It was raining hard. Busy. The people at the bay were occupied. Some are pushing the Kaiju specimen drenched in formuline in a large glass dome towards the southwest direction in the laboratory. The marshallers were waving their glow sticks guiding the arriving helicopter towards the helipad. Military men in raincoats walked back and forth. Trucks and machineries are busy. Cargo ships at the nearest dock. You stalked out of the base, a large black umbrella covering you from the rain. You were still frustrated that Marshal Lau hasn’t let you go on their search rescue. The anxiety is slowly killing you. You have heard rumors about solo piloting, and it has a backlash. All you know, it could affect Yuta’s health. A whistle caught your attention.

“Looking good, Miss (Y/N). Can I have a taste?”

“Fuck off.”

You didn’t know the guy and so, you ignored and paid no attention to him. Your world wasn't just experiencing the attacks of Kaijus, there are creatures that are jerks, scattered around the world, Misogynists. They are of a different breed, but they don't differ as they share the same attitude. You clutched your work laptop tightly against your chest. Your long black coat swaying against the violent winds and followed your figure from behind. Your black combat boots made a loud splash every stride you took. You looked up and saw the Boeing CH-47 Chinook ready to take off. Your hair was swept away due to the winds coming from the blades of the aircraft. You stood there and waited expectantly. You felt queasy and uneasy. The staircase descended down the floor and Marshal Lau approached you. You handed him the extra umbrella you took with you, with shaky hands. He gave you a curt nod and opened the other umbrella for the person following him from behind.

“Oh my God.”

The mashal spoke, “(Y/N), Yuta needs to be sent to the infirmary--”

You saw how Yuta limped. His injuries are seen from afar. Your eyes welled up as you approached his figure cautiously. You cupped his face, his deep, sad eyes staring back into yours. That wasn’t the same eyes you were used to seeing; his eyes were your favorite; it felt so alive, charismatic, full of determination, but those staring back at you are just as black as midnight. Empty. You took a sharp intake of breath. You leaned in, temples touching, you closed your eyes and whispered. “I thought I lost you. Hell, I was so afraid I wasn’t gonna see you again.” The tears finally fell down. It was so melancholic. With the rain, your pounding heart, the man you loved the most stood there looking as lost and hurt. This wasn’t the life you wanted.

Yuta stared at you intently. Never have he seen someone as ethereal, standing confidently despite the storm paving its way on the base. He observed you, you had blue highlights on your hair, pinkish lips that are kissable, deep eyes—unreadable. It hurt him to see you hurting too. He tried to force a smile, showing a perfect set of pearly white teeth. You sobbed into his chest, “I don’t know what I will do without you.”

Yuta whispered, “You should start standing on your toes. It’ll hurt you more if you rely on me a lot.”

A fortnight. Underbase.

“It's a surprise that there isn’t a Kaiju attack these fortnight. Are they on hibernating mode or something?”

“Trust me marshal, they are preparing for a bigger attack. This isn’t the time we should be letting our guards down.”

Taeyong dissected the heart specimen that lay on the table. Scalpel and tweezers. It was still fresh, its arteries a glowing color of cerulean, the veins are colored a deep crimson. However, it stinks of toxicity and ammonia. Taeyong’s arms are drenched with Kaiju blood and it covered most of the tattoos that lingered on both of his forearms. Sicheng, on the other hand, is writing vigorously on the blackboard. Chalks and dust. Formulas. Numerous data.

Sicheng voiced out. He pushed the glasses falling from the bridge of his nose, “The Kaiju attacks from the last months as by my calculations were about two and that is the maximum. However, as I’ve outlooked the data given by the other labs, the attacks could multiply and the frequency of Kaiju ambushes could rise for about three or worse four. From Sydney it was two weeks, then a week, then days. No time from preparations, I say. Ergo, your rangers should always prepare for a Kaiju attack from the coast. A category four.”

“Doctor Sicheng, I am about to plan on to group a 2,400 pound of nuclear bomb in the Breach to stop the attacks. Please give me more precise data, not just a prediction.”

Sicheng cleared his throat, “Numbers never lie marshal. They are the most accurate thing and never close to a prediction. The frequency of attacks will increase to the point we couldn’t stand their domination anymore, and--”

Johnny finished the sentence for the doctor, “We’re dead. Alas.”

Sicheng lifted his chin, “Exactly, Lieutenant Johnny.”

Taeyong smirked. Kaiju mucus drenching his surgical gloves, “You speak like a mighty doctor.”

Sicheng gave him a quizzical look, “I speak the truth. Continue on examining Dr. TY.” He clasped his fingers and headed towards his digital monitor, “Here comes the good news.”

The marshal spoke, “We are listening, doctor.”

“You see, the Breach is the gateway. And it is quite confusing as to how the hell is the Kaiju going to different countries like Australia, Alaska, Manila, Japan this comes up to the conclusion that there might be a new portal or much more, several gateways for these monsters. However,” He paused and clicked the enter key, a deep portal showed at the screen, “They only came from one source. Here, deep and close to the Marianas Trench lying underneath the oceans of the Pacific. We disrupt the throat for it to widen, don’t worry, that is its natural structure. It is beyond flexible for the monsters to go through. So, If we disrupt the gateway, that is where we drop the bomb and boom.”

Taeyong butted in, “But we could rely on much, limited data. Hear me out marshal.”

Johnny and Marshal Lau turned towards the other pink-haired doctor, “Do you see how unique these creatures are?”

“They’re not--”

“Some would look like a lizard, next would look like a deadass fish. But despite their appearance, they do share one commonality, they have the same exact DNA.”

Johnny narrowed his eyes, “What are you implying now, doctor?”

“Cloning.”

Yuta entered the laboratory after listening to their complicated discussions. His voice startling the men inside. “I will be piloting Echo Panther, Marshal. That is where you will attach the bombs right?”

“Yuta, Why all of a sudden?”

Yuta gave a half shrug. “This is the best thing I could do, marshal.”

“You’ll die, idiot!”

Yuta deadpanned, “I’m a fucking Jaeger pilot and I’ll die as one. That is something I should boast about.”

The marshal tried to calm his nerves. “This isn’t the right time to boast!”

Yuta gave a solemn look. After the incident, he contemplated that participating in this mission is something that could cut his time-bomb. He made sure to spend his remaining days making himself busy, pushing you aside from his systems, even if it's painful for his part. It was a dick and dumb move, but he knew spending his limited days with you would cause damage to you and to him as well. He made sure to avoid you. “Marshal, I told you that I loved my mother right?”

Marshal Lau crossed his brows, “Yes.”

“And do you know what she did to prove her love to me? She sacrificed herself, for my own fucking sake.” He paused, fist clenching. The tremors are back, again. The marshal gave him a concerned look. Yuta continued on, “Even if I choose not to participate in the mission, I would still die, it's all useless, marshal. Living is something out of my vocabulary.”

“This suggestion of yours will lead you to your death. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“I know, but if it means keeping everyone safe, keeping my (Y/N) safe, it’s worth everything even if it costs me.”

“What about (Y/N)?” Yuta didn’t answer him. Instead, he gave a rose drenched in resin and a flash drive.

Yuta breathed, “Give that to her after this mission.”

The three of you entered the facility. Then the marshal took a left turn, towards the base’s large elevator. Marshal Lau spoke up, “We will take a look at the facility first, then (Y/N) will take you to Echo Panther. Copy that Yuta?”

“Yes Sir.”

You snapped back, turning your head towards the marshal and your boyfriend. “What Echo Panther? Is there something I missed out marshal?”

The door was about to close when a frantic screaming interrupted you from pushing the buttons of the lift closed.

“Coming through!” Two pinked haired doctors scrambled inside the enormous lift. They pushed a Kaiju specimen through, crowding the space. The marshal pushed the button this time, giving you a meaningful look. Yuta felt the glass behind his back. The doe-eyed doctor wailed, “You are still injured, Yuta!” The elevator gave a sudden jolt, and descended downwards.

Yuta cajoled. Smiling wide. You were stunned at Yuta’s behavior. The time you saw him get down at the chopper since his last mission there was only one word that could describe him; lost. But the guy in front of you is really different, let alone he is acting as if nothing happened. “It's been a fortnight, doctor. I’m perfectly fine.”

You eyed Yuta. He’s been acting distant around you, and he seemed to be keeping things to himself. He was also acting differently around you; he never allowed you to nurse his injuries, or he never initiated intimate contacts with you unlike before. He acts completely different as if you weren’t molded as one. Dr. Taeyong spoke, “Just call me TY.” Yuta eyed the Kaiju tattoo lingering on Taeyong’s arm.

Yuta continued to eye the tattoo and spoke towards the doctor, “Is that Tailjaw?”

Dr. Taeyong smirked, “A good eyesight you have. Yes it is. Truly one of the fascinating things I have ever seen.”

“Mark and I have taken them down in 2018. A category 3 as I could recall.” You blinked hard. Yuta made sure to not waste some dead air to let you interrupt. You tried to initiate a conversation but you were cut mid-way. You gritted your teeth

Dr. Sicheng interjected, “The only thing that fascinated you TY is that it’s heart still pounds even after its three long hour death.”

Taeyong spatted back, “And that was really fascinating, tell me otherwise or I’ll fight you Dong Sicheng!”

The elevator’s door with a loud hiss. You and Marshal Lau have stepped out. Yuta gave Dr. Ty a pat on the shoulders, “Kaijus were never fascinating, doctor. They are killers, ruthless blue-blooded creatures.” And he stepped out.

He followed the two figures ahead of him, “Your research team is quite peculiar.”

Marshal spoke, “The two of them can outnumber a whole squad of researchers. They are pretty talented and brainy.”

The marshal gave Yuta a look, “Knowledge is always the outermost defense, Yuta.”

Pissed is an understatement, you couldn’t describe the anger boiling inside your gut. You pressed a series of codes on the biometric attached to the wall. The electronic beeps after your taps. The heavy secured door opened. Marshal Lau raised his right arm, “Welcome to the Underbase, again.”

People from the Underbase clamored around. Gulf carts beeping. Machineries wailing. Three tall Jaegers stood on each of the base’s corners. There are lights everywhere. Indistinctive radio sounds and chatters.Yuta turned around the base, his face awe-stricken. Above the large doors was a large digital clock.

The marshal’s voice boomed, “War clock. I hope we could reset it after your mission.”

Yuta narrowed his eyes, “I guarantee that.”

“We are lucky that they aren’t attacking, it surely gave us time to prepare.”

You interjected, “Excuse me marshal. But Yuta couldn’t participate in a mission. Can’t you see? He is still injured for heaven’s sake!”

The marshal looked at you, “He reported to me and said that he was perfectly fine.”

You stopped in your tracks and yanked Yuta’s arm, he voiced out, “Why?”

“What the fuck is running inside your mind Yuta?”

He looked straight into your eyes. No signs of love nor light. He glanced at you as if you were just an ordinary colleague, “Nothing. We should be going.” He left you there astounded.

“It is. That is Tanker Shoalin. Assembled in Hong Kong, one of the greatest. Large titanium core, powered digitally. That machine eats up a lot of diesel. That will run up for your defense.” The marshal trailed. Yuta glanced up to see Tangker Shoalin. It was standing a hundred foot tall. It colored a deep color of indigo. Shimmering due to metal. “She’s piloted by the Wong brothers. Lucas, Kun and Hendery. Don’t be deceived by their soft looks, they are precise fighters, deadly. Defended the borders of China, nine times. They used their signature move, the triple tiger claw.”

“I knew of that technique. That was powerful.” He glanced at the brothers on the bench. Pretty busy with their own businesses. They wore a leather jacket, and their hair was colored a vibrant color of violet, pink and green. From Yuta’s left, a heavy duty grey Jaeger stood.

The marshal pointed at it. “That one was the last of the first generation Mark 01 models, Hunger Mercenary. It may look as if it could be slammed down easily. But don’t be fooled, Yuta. That one is a bloodlust killing machine.” He paused, “Those two,” he pointed at the two men in a deep army green suit, “Doyoung and Jaehyun piloted the Hunger Mercenary.”

He stared at the figure of Kim Doyoung and Jung Jaehyun, “Yes, I have heard of them. New York based. Deadly killers.”

“Exactly. Gates under their watch remain unbreachable.”

You stared at Yuta. Eyes narrowing. He was observing the first generation Mark model. Then a booming voice caught all of your attention. Lieutenant Johnny approached the marshal, “Marshal. A pleasant morning.”

The marshal nodded, “To you too, Johnny.”

The lieutenant blinked. He stood tall, he had a new cut; an undercut. “Hey, Yuta. Oh, hey (Y/N)” Yuta nodded. You gave the lieutenant a faint smile. Johnny raised a brow; he is quite surprised at both of your behaviiors. You were both inseperable; clingy and full of love. The couple before him acted as if they despised each other. Johnny cleared his throat and gave Yuta a sullen look, “I’m sorry for the loss of your brother.”

Yuta only nodded. The marshal spoke again, “His cousin, Haechan will be your co-pilot in Echo Panther towards the Breach. That machine is as mighty as flash, quite fast and the last generation of the Mark 06.”

Yuta narrowed his eyes, “We’d be compatible. I’ve ran combat against Haechan before.”

“That’s a good thing. In that way we could stop the monsters from going in and out of our world as if they own the place. The Russians have given us enough resources such as nuclear missiles to be attached to Jaeger’s back.”

You clicked your tongue, “So you have a plan? What is my purpose then? To be an ornament?”

The marshal smiled, “An ornament is a fancy word, (Y/N). You are a warrior and so you will be backing the machine up to successfully enter the Breach.”

You snapped, “How could I back the Jaeger marshal? When you keep your plans to yourselves? My boyfriend doesn’t even talk to me as if I’ve got his fucking tongue.”

Marshall Lau blinked. This was the reason why he is opposed to Yuta’s request; you will be enraged once you find out. The Marshal called for Johnny’s attention, “Let us go to the control base.”

You raised your voice in annoyance, “Fucking hell, marshal. I feel like a fucking joke!”

Yuta cleared his throat, “Let’s go.”

“I won’t. Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on!”

Johnny fidgeted and bowed his head awkwardly towards Yuta, “The mission’s tomorrow. Let me know if you need something.”

Yuta answered back, “Thank you, sir.”

You cleared your throat, “Well? If you won’t talk, then I’m out.”

This is what they feared. What Yuta feared.

Your boots clanked every step you took. Yuta followed you from behind. There are electric sparks everywhere. The people were busy. Welding. Yuta heaved a sigh. Echo Panther stood there; tall, mighty and beautiful as ever. Beside it was Gipsy Danger, its familiar yellow windshield is noticeable from a distance. Memories came flooding his mind again, where he used to pilot the machine back in their glory days, with his best friend, his brother, Mark Lee. “She’s beautiful as ever.”

You tried to conceal your annoyance. “The last among the Mark 03. I made some major improvements on her model. Her nuclear core is powered tremendously, more stronger than before. There are weapons added, missile launches, laser ammos, et cetera.”

“She looked so new.”

“Better than new.” Yuta gave you a look. A look that you wish to see everyday. It is a glance that a man ever gave to a woman he truly admires, he truly loved.

“How do you like your new toy now, handsome boy?” Taeil walked on the metal platform. Yuta grinned widely and tackled the operator.

“Good to see you, my man, Taeil.”

Taeil chucked, “Good old times. Where the hell have you been?”

“The infirmary,” Yuta inquired, “Ready for tomorrow?”

“I’m always ready.”

You stalked away; annoyance taking a toll on you. You glanced behind your shoulder and made sure to raise your voice for him to hear, “We better talk Nakamoto Yuta. I’m tired of guessing what the hell in running inside that pretty head of yours.”

Yuta entered his room, it looked similar, untouched, unfolded. It was a fortnight since he’d last slept in his room. Last night he was here; he was making love to you. Holding you close to him. Kissing passionately as if there is no tomorrow. But things have changed. Yuta cozened himself with vain hopes and fake smiles, acting as if everything’s fine. The room looked lonely, empty, rusty. He turned to look at you. His eyes unfathomable, “What is it that you want to know?”

You let out an exasperated smile, “Stop acting so inconspicuous. I know something’s going on.”

“There is. Kaiju everywhere. I’m sure you know of these, (Y/N)”

You yelled, “I’m not fucking stupid, Yuta! Do you really enjoy doing this? Acting as if I’m not existing? This is bullshit, Yuta! Stop acting like a dick!”

There was a long silence. It was deafening.

Yuta raised his brows, “I don’t understand why you are acting like this, (Y/N)”

“I’m acting like this because of you! You’re acting like a jerk!” You called out. Your fists balled up to fists; shaking uncontrollably. Your eyes glistened with tears.

Yuta chuckled bitterly, “Oh. I had no choice.”

Tears started to fall from your eyes.“Were you trying to destroy us?” You wiped your tears aggressively, inhaling rapid breaths, “How do you sleep at night?”

Yuta let out a long, slow, exhale and ran a finger on his dirty blonde locks, “What I’m doing is for us, (Y/N). You’ll understand.”

“Did you expect this to turn out better? Yuta, what you are doing is bullshit!”

“I never meant to hurt you, you know?”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you did. For the weeks that passed, I was longing for you! I wanted to take care of you, but all you did was to push me away!” You sobbed, vision blurring with tears, “Tell me where did I go wrong, huh? Yuta, tell me!”

Yuta exhaled, giving you a cold stare, “Aren't you tired? Can we just stop this and give our hearts rest?”

You choked back your tears. The universe you are both in—is indeed in chaos. However, that chaos didn’t stop both of your feelings for each other. It was a feeling so rare, raw, full of love. This universe both you are in, gave a lesson to make introductions for lovers that are destined to do great things together, to seize the limited moment the universe has to give to the both of you. Yet the introductions can take time, can be staggered over weeks, months or years. In those times, you and Yuta have sorted out things; to not further complicate everything and stress each other out. This is what you’ve feared, when the time comes, the time of separation, the downfall of the love you both have established for so long. The pain ransacked your systems. It acts like a focusing lens; memories have flooded your mind, flashing towards the next. You saw that one time; the purity of his love, his words echoing in your ears; that you were the only one lover for his lifetime. Then all of a sudden, the jittery feeling collapsed.

Your vision is blurred; you tried to hold anything to prevent you from collapsing. This wasn’t the ending you wished. Never in your life wished to have this dreadful moment; you slapped your cheeks. In attempt to slap out of the paranoia your mind is molding in; but failed. What you are seeing, hearing, feeling—they are all fucking true. The piercing pain, it is present. He approached your figure, you took a step backwards. His breath fanned your face, “I’m already tired, (Y/N). Let go of me, remove me from your system as if I never occupied it in the first place. I don’t deserve you nor you deserved me.”

You shook your head. “No. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I am not, (Y/N). I need air, having you with me, suffocates me.”

You exhaled and looked intently at his eyes. You sounded wounded and incredulous. Your voice is cracking, your heart pounding hard. You tried to reach out for him but he took a step back, “Please, please just give me another chance.”

Yuta stood there with an unreadable expression plastered on his face. He whispered,“Leave me alone, (Y/N).”

You blinked. Your chest is heaving up and down. You couldn't help but compare the night with his own state of mind. Just like those clouds, your insides were in chaos. A mess. “Why? Yuta, why?” You tried to reason out this unbearable burning but your mind is in an endless swirl of darkness. Everything felt so confusing, a joke; just like a jumbled set of a puzzle.

“The one you love most isn't always the one you spend your life with. I’m not the guy for you.”

You blinked. His expression darkened. You tried to convince him, it might just be Mark’s death as to why he is acting this way.“You were always the one, Yuta. Where did I go wrong? I will try to change, please.. Just don’t.. I love you so much.” Your emotions turn jagged, insides tight.

His tone was cold. “I know you love me, but I'm sick of lying when I say it back.”

You gasped and clutched your chest. Yuta did everything. Almost everything. Disobeyed a direct order, fucked his subjects, fucked you, loved you, killed, lost someone, everything. But, making you cry wasn’t part of his agenda. He had his reasons, he loved you so much. But for him, this is the thing he should be doing. He had already made a mistake, and he surely doesn’t want to commit it again. He disobeyed the orders of the marshal just to save the people from the vessel. If he just listened, Mark could've been breathing up to this day, fighting with him. But, what he did was for the greater good, and choosing has always come with a price and a consequence.

What he did will surely give you a scar. But he would rather choose to be hated by his love rather than having you suffer forever. Waves of melancholy pooling over you. You bit down your lip, and dropped your gaze. “How could you do this to me? After everything we’ve been through?

You raised your head and saw Yuta. His figure is far from you; away from your reach. He graciously stalked around his room; topless. Several vertical scars lingered on his shoulder blades, his biceps, on his latissimus dorsi. That was the scars from his battle. The scar that reminded him of his loss. You stared at his figure intently. He had defined muscles; his abs are sticking out, his overall physique is a viewpoint and enough evidence of how well-trained and strong his body is. A body of a true ranger. A Jaeger Pilot. Both of your eyes locked.

"People change, and people grow. And I think we just grew apart."

“That is stupid, Yuta!”

“Once, a long time ago, I thought I loved you. I do, but everything has its ends."

You were a big fan of literature. Yuta knew that. And one poem struck to your mind,

"Of all nights, today's the one that had to break my heart fully and irreversibly."--A. M. Wolowicz

Yuta had molded your heart, took care of it, guarded it. But he was also the one who crushed it to pieces to the point, you were so lost, you can’t think of how to mend it back in one.

Military Time: 2100 hours.

“Marshal, the nuclear has been attached to Echo Panther’s back.”

“That’s good.”

“There’s one thing.”

The marshal stopped on his tracks, “What is it?”

“About Yuta.”

The marshal gave the staff a meaningful stare, “Is anything wrong?”

The staff shook his head, no. “The ranger wants to tell you that he’ll be stopping taking in his medication. And he also said to not engage his pod.”

The marshal narrowed his eyes. “Why so?”

“He didn’t disclose anymore, sir.”

The marshal exhaled, “Understood. Is the Jaeger ready?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Where are the movements?”

“Along Hong Kong, sir. Then, deep in the breach.”

“How many signatures are noted?”

“Three, sir. Category five.”

“Gather all the Jaegers.”

“Marshal.”

The marshal turned around and saw your figure. You look dishevelled, ruined, broken.

“How can I help you, (Y/N).”

“Place me in the control base.”

“Will do.”

“Movement in the Breach. Double event.”

The alarm wailed inside the control lab. There was a movement, after two weeks of calm, the demons are now starting to strike. Category four. Taeil looked at his flashing monitor, a doughnut in hand. He called in all the staff. The pilots of Hunger Mercenary; Jung Jaehyun and Kim Doyoung are in the base; in their deep green metal suits. Jaehyun and Doyoung stood tall and glorious. The Wong brothers; Lucas, Kun and Hendery, pilots of Taker Shaolin, has worn their glossy red suits. Hairs are noticeable from afar. Your figure is standing near the consoles. You searched for the familiar figure of Yuta. And there he stood, beside Haechan both in you midnight black metal suits.

Taeil walks in the base, back and forth. “Double signatures. Code name Tailcleaver and Thornbreaker and one, unidentified. They’ll reach Hong Kong in an hour.”

Marshal Lau’s voice boomed, alerting all the staff, “Evacuate the city, shut down the bridges. All people should be in refuge. Hunger Mercenary,” he looked at Jaehyun and Doyoung, “Tanker Shaolin,” then towards the Wong brothers, “I want you guard the harbor. Echo,” Then he gave a glance towards Yuta and Haechan, “Stay back at the miracle mile. You are the final option, we cannot afford to lose you.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let’s go.”

The metals are thudding as the choppers are set to fly out the three Jaegers to the coast lines. There are indistinct radio chatters heard. The pilots are alert, adrenaline pumping in. The orders of the marshal booming in their p.a systems, “Guys be alert. These are category 4s, large in both size and weight.

Jaehyun spoke, “We are near the coast line. Disengaging transport.” The choppers rope disengaged from their Jaeger, and the machine descended downwards. The Wong brother’s have already disengaged their transport as well; their Jaeger dropping onto the oceans. The Jaegers walked along the oceans; creating massive waves after their strides. The night was calm; eerie. Lucas sensed a movement from his right; three o’ clock. The Kaiju was swimming silently, moving fast. The Kaiju looked similar to a large lizard. Its feet were a bed of gloopy pustules; grotesque. Its legs are as thick as tree trunks. The Kaiju’s skin is so thick; leathery; with occasional blue scales lingering on its back. They also do have ginormous torsos, body covered in scales. Each step it took, made the ground shake. A roar. Height tall as a skyscraper. Teeth like rows of ebony daggers. Small beady, ruthless eyes searching for its enemy. The doctor wasn’t wrong when he said the Kaijus were adapting; they were surprisingly fast, agile, strong. The stench of raw flesh on it's humid breath, a glowing blue light illuminated its throat. Flaring nostrils. It was thrashing its tail as it took a fast movement, taking the pilots by surprise. It stood up tall. An ear-splitting roar like thunder booming.

From the right; three o’ clock of the Wong brother’s Jaeger. The Kaiju appeared; its tail sweeping from left to right. Its roar resonated along the coastline. Then, it took a sudden turn, it’s tail aimed for the Jaeger’s torso. The pilots grunted; the hull they were shook at the attack. They recovered from its attack. Kun instructed to engage the nuclear missiles and aimed fully at its throat. There was a loud splash, followed by a spine-chilling shriek.

From the base, Taeil noted the missile launch. His fingers typing vigorously. “One down. The other one is attacking Jaehyun and Doyoung.”

The marshal squinted his eyes, “The unidentified?”

“It’s staying on the portal. Stationary.”

“And what are they up to?”

Taeil shrugged, “Echo Panther will find out about it soon,” he pressed a red button, “Dyoung, Jaehyun, what’s the situation?”

A string of curses unraveled from Jaehyun’s tongue, like a yarn unfurling. The Kaiju advanced. It's golden scales shimmered with hot anger along with it's dark, cold, beady eyes. Doyoung hissed as they staggered from its attack, their metal harness shaking at the aftermath. “This is one son of a bitch.” The Kaiju roared. Jaehyun and Doyoung took a swift punch. But the Kaiju struck up its sharp claw onto Hunger Mercenary’s torso; holding it to its place. The pilot grunted and shouted in pain. The Kaiju roared loudly; as its throat expanded; a glowing cerulean blue liquid spewed out from its mouth. Doyoung yelled, “Marshal, it purged out some type of acid. It is slowly penetrating through the hull.”

“Engage the nuclear bomb and attach to the pod. Now!”

From the base. You watched the electrocardiogram on the digital screens. The electrical signals of the pilots moving in a normal manner. The electrodes are placed on their chest to record the heart's electrical signals, of which causes the heart to beat. The signals are shown as waves. The Wong’s waves were moving fast a while ago; it signified stress. Jaehyun and Doyoung’s waves were also moving at a fast pace. Haechan and Yuta’s waves are moving calmly. Normal. You sighed as you fidgeted on your seat.

“Missile Launching. Alarm Code Red.”

Doyoung and Jaehyun were now heading for their security pod. The AI is counting to five and for five seconds, they have to get the hell out of the JAeger. Otherwise, they will be fried to death. There was a loud blast. The people from the city wailed. Panic. Chaos. Then, loud roar followed by a blinding light.

The marshal grumbled, “What is the health rate of the pilots of Hunger Mercenary?”

“Jaehyun passed out, he got delayed and thus, hit his head inside the pod.”

“Assessment?”

“Dyoung’s vital signs are normal. Jaehyun is unresponsive, I cannot read his pulse.”

“Engage the transport immediately. Lucas, Kun, Hendery, go back to the base. Now! Yuta, Haechan,”

The voice of the two pilots boomed onto the base’ speakers. Yuta’s voice sent a chill towards your spine. “Yes, sir.”

“Transport. Bring Echo Panther to the Breach.”

It's now or never. Yuta held only two choices; to die or to fucking die. And he wishes to die on a Jaeger rather than to die in a hospital

“All ports sealed, ready to submerge.”

“Roger that.”

“400 miles.”

Doctor TY held the microphone, “Remember, Yuta, Haechan. Attach a Kaiju onto your body for the Breach to open through. This is our only way to get through their den. Take the monsters as a bar code, kaching.”

The ocean was fascinating, deep, eerie, lonely. Such thrills as the ocean could only give. Only the deep sea could bring. Yuta and Haechan walked, their strides heavy, the fall was close. It was like a changing panorama if only the Kaiju’s were not present. A rocky wall, not twenty feet away from them, stood up like a sky-scraper, straight and tall. Here and there it was broken by fissures and caves. Everywhere it was festooned with sea vegetation--seaweed, kelp, anemones. All these, with coral that rose like Gothic architecture, were entrancing. Like a dream come true. Suddenly a Kaiju attacked them from behind.

Yuta groaned, as their metal harness shook from the attack. The alarms are wailing. Then, there was another swing penetrating through Yuta’s side. It shoots a piercing pain onto his legs. You gulped nervously, Yuta’s vital signs and rhythms are going berserk. Wild. Even though he had ended everything, the love you have for the man is still present, even if the pain is taking a toll, corrupting you to blindness.

Haechan furrowed his brows, “I cannot see anything. It's moving too fast!”

Yuta pushed the p.a button, “Taeil hyung, we can’t see anything!”

“To your left; one o’ clock!”

So far down in the ocean the sunlight is a soft diffuse glow. But for the most part, the ocean is dim, majority; dark. There were once golden rays from above; and it gave a warm blue hue of the waters; and the deeper the Jaeger went through; the darker the blue color they saw.

The rocks are now silhouettes in the dim. The headlight from the Jaager lit up like the glow of the heat from a winter campfire. There was a lone fish, invisible until it entered the feeble beam.

With the increasing pressure, Yuta and Haechan begin to feel like the water is becoming thicker, like soup. They glanced upward to the surface and their heart rate rose. It was so deep. The voice of caution whispered softly onto them; not to rise so fast, but it can't break through the scream for unfiltered rays and fresh air. Not, until, a Kaiju roared again and penetrated through their nuclear core.

“Let’s get this son of a bitch!” Yuta engaged the sword and struck it towards the head of the Kaiju. It screamed so loud. Its toxic cerulean blood is gushing onto its penetrated head. Echo Panter took a step while dragging the sword that struck the creatures head near the opening of the Breach. Where the lava spews. The Kaiju gave a loud screech. Its tail swooped from behind taking Yuta and Haechan by surprise.

“Echo, be alert of a sudden attack!”

The Kaiju swam far away from them. Then, attacked directly at the Jaeger, coming over at full speed. Yuta kneeled, then Haechan raised his arm; sword glistening. The Kaiju’s mouth was wide open; screams and shriek coming out of its throat. But one thing, a Kaiju does not have is a sense of control. If it strikes, they will, and no one’s gonna tell them to maneuver their ways. Haechan grinned as he ripped the Kaiju apart. Yuta grunted as he controlled his body; the aftershock of the attack was heavy for him. Yuta needs to be stable for the Jaeger not to fly out from the assault. Its cerulean blood clinging onto the body of the Jaeger. Haechan grunted, and folded his arms; finally striking and ripping the creature in half. The sword clamored. The people from the base felt glory.

“Echo, attach the Kaiju onto your body!”

Echo Panther moved and gripped the Kaiju’s head. The people from the base where expectant; glory is coming their way. Not until, Taeil sensed another. “Fuck.”

Yuta screamed into the p.a. The alarms were not wailing, “The hull is compromised! We can’t shoulder another attack!”

“Jump onto the Breach now!”

“Copy sir!”

All the systems are critical. There is a lot of fluid loss. Code Red. Yuta’s leg was crippled. They held the Kaiju carcass limping, towards the opening. The Breach is a meter away, then the category five Kaiju suddenly appeared in front of them. Haechan gulped. Yuta gritted his teeth in anger. Yuta looked at the younger pilot, “Let’s do this.” Haechan gave him a strong nod. Then, they jumped ahead, with the help of the rear jets. Tackling the Kaiju onto the portal. Then, Haechan lifted his arm and sliced thoroughly onto the Kaiju’s back. The Kaiju screeched. Haechan grunted. Yuta yelled, “Hold on!”

The Kaiju screeched out loud in pain. Its tail swinged upward, attacking the rear part of the Kaiju. Haechan and Yuta were already exhausted. Taeil saw how Haechan’s oxygen levels dropped down fast. His monitor beeping wildly. Half capacity. Haechan felt like drowning. Taeil moved to another monitor, typing as fast; to reroute everything. Yuta yelled, “Hold on! I will burn this motherfucker down!”

Yuta activated the heat purge. The nuclear core flashed; burning the chest of the Kaiju. The creature groaned, and wiggled against the Jaeger’s hold. But their tackles and grip was strong. The fire penetrated through the creature's chest reaching its back. It screeched again, then its eyes turned grey. It fell onto the Jaeger’s chest, limp, unalive. They have reached the opening, electricity around them were whirring.Taeyong was right; the only way to enter the portal is you fool the Breach into believing you are of its people. From Taeel’s screen, Echo Panther’s signature suddenly disappeared. They have now successfully entered the portal, The lair of the demons.

Oxygen from Haechan’s side was in a critical state. If he continues on, he will die there. And Yuta won’t allow that to happen; he pulled in his oxygen tube and attached it onto the younger’s suit. Haechan gasped for air. His helmet was fogging. He gave a faint smile, “You’ve done a good job, buddy. You know I was a jerk to (Y/N), but please guard her for me. I will finish this alone.” He pressed a series of buttons. Then, the metal harness whirred, sending Haechan’s figure inside the evacuation pod. Haechan’s eyes were heavy. He cannot decipher his surroundings. He gave Yuta a faint smile. He pushed a button then the pod was released ascending towards the surface.

Taeil voiced, “Yuta is giving Haechan his oxygen. He has already ejected the pod.”

You stood up quick. “What happened? What is happening?”

The marshal breathed, “It was his last will, (Y/N).”

You shook your head, “I don’t understand you marshal.” You pushed aside the marshal and spoke onto the microphone, “Yuta! Yuta!”

Yuta smiled, he heard your lovely voice, again. He blinked slowly; his oxygen levels were already low. He activated the nuclear core. There was a countdown. Five. Five seconds to live his life. He smiled, “I love you so much (Y.N). I’ll love you till the last rose dies.” Yuta initiated the reactor override. You blast the Jaeger to pieces; self destructing. The breach was like a large intestine. Pink and full of life. Electricity everywhere. The baby Kaiju chattered. Their beady eyes staring at the Jaeger. Then there was a loud blast. You were startled at the sound. The ECG line of Yuta was beeping, flat. You burst into tears, calling out his name on the microphone, “Yuta! No!”

It was Yuta’s last will. To save the world, to die in a Jaeger and to tell you how much he loved you. He did it. And he was content.

Five years.

It was five years of play-pretend. Finding ways to numb the pain. It was the start of the dark force. Tearing out the sewn paranoia you had. And replaying the pains of your past. You couldn’t forget about Yuta, he was your first love. Yet, after his death, all you could feel was the terrible pain; because of his disappearance. You would wake up in dawn just to cry till you could no longer lash out your tears. It was clarity that brought each of you, molded you to one, then had become one unit of two souls. But right now, your other half is gone, and you were left alone, numb, in pain. You decided to go to the bar. You felt high, in a daze, this was the thing you could do to forget that you are missing Yuta terribly. A guy pushed you in the bathroom, a tequila in your other hand. He began undressing you. You wanted this, to remove the pain. But was it worth doing? He kissed you. The scene was intimate; two people osculated. But in your mind; you wished it was only him, Nakamoto Yuta. He unbuckled his belt and sat on the toilet bowl. He pumped his member, it’s tip oozing. You immediately removed your pants, and panties and climbed onto his lap. You drank the last shots of your alcohol drink and began to thrust. The guy held your waist hard, guiding you up and down. He gave a moan of pleasure. You tilted your head back, tears flooding out of your eyes. You gripped on the metal pole overhead. You sobbed while thrusting deep. It wasn’t pleasure that you were feeling, it was fucking pain. Grief. It was five years of restlessness. If you could just pay to have him back, you would, but you couldn’t. He was now gone, permanently. You felt the pain glowing into your chest. You stopped thrusting and buried your head onto your fuck buddy’s shoulder.

He hugged you, “Are you good?”

You breathed. You felt bitter, “It’s been so long since I last hugged someone…I had forgotten how it feels like to be held.”

You grabbed the rose from Yuta. His words are still clear in your mind; he won’t stop loving you till the last rose dies. And so, he gave you an undying rose. You felt your vision blurred. You grabbed the flash drive and plugged it into your laptop. Yuta’s gorgeous face came to view and it made you wail. All you did was to cry.

[1] Formylove.mp4

“Hey love. This took me thirteen fucking tries, and I want to make sure this comes out perfect. Handsome I am right? Hehe.. First of all, I want to apologize for being a jerk to you; it was all an act... I don’t want to make you suffer anymore. You see? I was diagnosed with Helmer’s Myopathy and even if I won’t go on a mission, I will still die.. and so I did what my guts wanted me to do… spend my remaining days in a Jaeger fighting off till my last breath... This two weeks I’m away from you, it felt like hell, fucking hell… I wanted to touch you, hug you, but I did this, I distanced myself from you.. to hate me, because this is the only thing I could do to ease your pain. To replace it with anger. But please.. I love you with all my heart.. I won’t get tired of being with you.. To say that I love you.. I fucking love you so much.. I devote myself to telling you that.. I will always be in your heart, my love. I will never disappear.. If you ever miss me, just close your eyes, and I will appear.. That is how much I love you… What I did was for the greater good.. You deserve a peaceful world, (Y/N), my love. And I am willing to sacrifice myself to offer a serene world, for you. I know how much you love literature, hold on.. I have a quote for you, “I guess that's just part of loving people: You have to give things up.” I will give everything up, just for you, (Y/N). I love you so much.”

im nervous about this but since i didn’t proofread this sike. anyways <3

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luci-cunt · 4 years

Note

Tell me about Magneto🤭

MAY YOU CAN’T SEE IT BUT IM KISSING YOU SO PASSIONATELY RIGHT NOW

Ok so listeeennnn tooooo meeeee, okokokok, so a while ago I went on this James McAvoy bender--don’t ask--and I saw he was in the X-Men movies, whic hi haven’t watched since the Wolverine movies/ Last Stand when I was like, actually a baby. So anyways I flipped them on thinking “yeah what could go wrong?” except I watched them in the wrong order

Anyways here’s an essay on why neither Erik or Prof X was right and the actual answer would be to compromise and these movies how how because they’re both too stubborn and couldn’t it destroyed their friendship and fucked everything up.

Also the fact that X-Men: First Class is the best Villain origin story to ever cross the screen.

Ok so spoilers ahead for X-Men: Days of Future Past and X-Men: First Class

Now, it should be noted that I’m no an X-Men expert I just love these two movies.

So for some context: First Class and Days of Future Past are both kind of prequels, except DoFP is a prequel-sequel?? becuase of time travel?? I’ll explain don’t worry. The point is, they take place in the past where all the characters are younger. James McAvoy plays Professor X (who I’ll just be calling X for this whole thing), Michael Fassbender plays Magneto (aka Erik), oh and Jennifer Lawrence plays Mystic--who will be appearing in this essay XDD.

Alright so first of all have a plot summary: DoFP is about Wolverine getting sent back in time so he can convince a younger Prof X to stop Raven (aka Mystic) from getting caught by this guy Trask who then uses her DNA to create super weapons that irradiate all mutants. The current future Wolverine is in, he, prof X, Magneto, and a few other mutants are trying their best to survive but it’s a losing battle and their only hope is to literally change the past.

This one takes place after the events of First Class, which I will now explain.

So in First Class a younger Prof X and Magneto team up to find and recruit bb mutants to X’s school because the government wants to use Mutants to help fight the Russians (oh head this takes placee in the 1960′s right before the Cuban Missile Crisis). This is essentially a Magneto origin story and also--in my opinion--the best villain origin story to ever cross the screen.

OK so now some details on our main characters:

Magneto/ Erik Lehnsherr: a literal holocaust survivor who’s only goal in the begining of the story is hunting/ killing nazi’s, specifically one nazi who tortured him specifically and I will get into him later don’t worry.

Professor X: super smart rich white boy with a heart of gold but also enough naivete to make a lamb look like a Stephen King character.

Already you can see very stark differences between the two of them. Erik is set up as being a staunch pessimist while X is a vivid optimist, and that makes sense. X’s grown up sheltered and never wanting for anythign while Erik suffered a trainwreck of the greatest traumas in human existence hitting him over and over and over again from like age fucking 9.

Ok also tehre’s J-Law’s character Raven, who is a mutant that can change her skin to look like anythign she wants it to but her actual form is blue/ scaly/ “not pretty” (bullshit but ok). She met X when she broke into his house one night to steal some food and then they became friends, their relationship will become important later but for now that’s all u need to know.

ok so anyways, in the begining of First Class Erik is hunting + killing Nazi’s, specifically looking for this one called Schmidt because when Erik was little he and his family were carted away to a concentration camp where Schmidt witness Erik use his metal bending powers and decided to “train” him. aka physically/ mentally abuse him for years. The whole thing starts with Schmidt trying to get Erik to lift a metal coin with his mind, when he can’t (because he’s a child who didn’t even know he had his powers until literally hours ago) Schmidt puts his mother’s life on the line and when he still can’t Schmidt kills her. This sends Erik it’s a rage and he crushes some nazi heads but then Schmidt is still standing and mentions how “oh gotcha, so it’s rage and pain that’s the key to your powers huh?” anyways this tidbit and the coin will become important later trust me--

Meanwhile Prof X is graduating from Oxford/ generally being an idiot pretty boy. He’s a telepath who knows about his powers and has used them from an early age. He also wrote some big paper on mutants, which gets the attention of an FBI agent who witnesses the villains being mutants and wants his advice

However, the villains just so happen to be Schmidt, who’s going by “Shaw” now, so when X and the agents catch up to him Erik is already there and on a mission to murder his ass. Some bs happens, Erik tries to pull a submarine out of the water but can’t (T-T this will be important) and X jumps into the water to stop him because the mental stress is literally killing him.

That’s how they meet.

It’s important to note: up until this point, Erik didn’t know there were other mutants, so meeting X, who’s friends with Raven, is kind of a big deal for him. He and X become very fast friends and also have a very homoerotic montage where they become dads for a bunch of mutant teenagers, because they realize they can use X to track all these baby mutants, collect them, and train them so they don’t grow up fearing their powers.

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Anyways, the other thing about this is that now that Erik has this newfound group of people that are just like him, he’s opening up, and X is helping him realize he’s actually so much more powerful when he taps into happy memories rather than fueling himself on pain and rage. This scene always makes me sob oh my god--

youtube

Also, fellas--is it gay to “access the brightest cortex” of your homies memories and remind him that hate and pain are not good motivators before reminding him that he has good memories he can draw on and showing him that his life has not been entirely painful?

YEs, the answer is yes are u shitting me??

ok so anyways--something to note about this is that X and Erik are both very protective of all their new kids, but Erik is especially so. I’m going to be getting into this more but just tab thsi thought for later :)

Now, the plot’s kicking up a bit, because it’s at this point that Erik and X capture one of Shaw’s (aka the nazi’s) main lackies and they question her until she gives them the info that Shaw’s planning on using the Cuban Missile Crisis tensions to start a nuclear war to wipe out all humans so that only mutants survive in the new world.

Obviously they want to stop him, but also, you can kind of tell that Erik is not totally against this plan, which only gets to be more later but that’s for later.

Right now I wanna take a quick break to talk about Raven--aka Mystic, aka J-Law. She and X were childhood friends and she kind of clung to him because she doesn’t have family/ anyone she can really be herself around besides him.

X insistently says throughout the movie he sees her as a sister, but it’s kinda obvious she’d be down to fuck. She has this big plotline where she keeps trying to get X to understand why it’s so frustrating for her to have to be using energy to look “human.” Because her natural form is the one with the blue skin. X doesn’t understand this because his power is easy to hide, it’s simple for him to just fake-human and have no one be any wiser, Raven, however, doesn’t have that luxury and when she tries to explain this to X it just flies over his head, insisting she hide her natural self to better fit in if that’s what she really wants.

Queue Erik, who comes in as a king of self love. He’s pretty blunt about it, but his point is basically “you’re wasting energy by constantly pretending you’re something you’re not--stop” and she responds essentially with “yeah but then no one will like me” to which he responds “then make them.”

Raven’s relationship with both the boys is used through both First Class and DoFP to really highlight their faults. X believes humans and mutants can coexist but he thinks we go about doign that by completely ignoring the pages of history of abuse mutants have suffered--and it’s mostly because he hasn’t experienced it.

Erik on the other hand will do everything and anything he possibly can to protect his new family/ people, and in his head that means exterminating any and all threats. By the end of the movie--humans become one of those threats.

The point of this whole ramble is that: they both represent utter opposites, BUT, X’s blind optimism and Erik’s blind pessimism are equally bad.

Ok so back to plot for a second to prove this.

Shaw is revealed to be a mutant himself and he also has a helmet that can block telepathy. (yes it’s the magneto helmetjasjd;fkjaskl;dfjasldkj jsut wait).

His plan’s complicated but basically: he’s going to poke America and Russia until they pop and incite a nuclear war. And it works. The whole pre-climax of the film sees X, Erik, Raven, and the other mutants all working double time to stop Shaw’s plan (AND IT INVOLVES ERIK SUCCESSFULLY PULING A SUBMARINE OUT OF THE WATER!!! BECAUSE NOW HE’S USING HAPPINESS INSTEAD OF ANGER/ PAIN!!!).

Anywho, they’re doing all this, but then some bullshit happens, the plane they’re on crashes oh and -- yeah there’s this part where Erik uses himself as a seatbelt for X it’s fantastic but anyways--

This is finally the climax of the film.

Also possibly the greatest scene in film history in my humble opinion.

Because listen--in order to stop Shaw they need the helmet off of him so that X can telepathically freeze his ass and they can arrest him or whatever. So they split up--Erik rushes into the wreckage to find Shaw and X stays behind ready to freeze the guy as soon as the helmet comes off but--

Well, vengence is just too tempting.

So when Erik gets Shaws helmet off, X freezes the guy, and he’s ecstatic, at least until he realizes Erik plans on killing Shaw.

He’s pleading with Erik because this is vengence and he can’t chose that but Erik just puts on the helmet and--taunts Shaw, pulling out the coin Shaw taunted him with all those years ago and in a mimickry of the game Shaw forced him to play as a child and killed his mother over--he slowly floats the coin at Shaws head, telling him “I’m going to count to ten, and all you have to do is move.”

But he can’t--because X is holding him--and that’s the point, Erik wants him as helpless as he was, and X can’t let his hold on Shaw go because that would mean putting Erik in danger but he’s also in Shaws head so he feels the coin go through his head as though Erik was doing it to him and the fucking cinematography in this scene is so fuaksdjf;laksjd;fjasd;lkfjadsl;asdjf;ljL:DKJFL:SDKJFL:D KFUCKKKKK

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This scene is cinematic perfection don’t fucking lOOK at me unless you agree.

T-T and then, it only gets worse, because now Erik’s finally finished his original purpose--killing the man who killed his mother and ruined his life--and now he’s got a new one, aka protecting his new family aka the mutants.

AND HE’S ONLY PROVEN RIGHT THAT HUMANS ARE A THREAT BECAUSE THEY TURN AND TRY TO KILL ALL THE MUTANTS IN THE PLANE CRASH AND JSUT--

And so he stops all the missiles flying their way, and turns them around on the humans and X has to stop him but he’s not listening and the rawest fucking line in the whole movie comes when X says

“There’s hundreds of men on those ships--innocent men. They’re just following orders!”

And Erik simply replies, “I’ve been at the mercy of men ‘just following orders’--never again.”

And then he goes to blow up the shipsthen one of the other characters goes to shoot Erik and he deflects the bullet wtihout thinking right. into. X’s. back.

Paralysing him.

And just akjd;fjasdflkjasd;lfkj this scene speaks for itself

youtube

Listen just--akjdsf;ljasdlk jguys this movie has no right being this good.

And then the movie closes off with X and Erik literally begging one another to just see it their way--because they both want so badly to be on the same side but they’re too stubborn and they refuse to see compromise and just ajkdf;lja;sdkfja;sdljkfsadlkf

Ok I realize now that I barely talked about DoFP but this is already so long. The major things I was going to bring up was teh absolutely fantastic bitter exes energy that McAvoy and Fassbender bring to that movie it’s excellent but also the fact that X is literally the only person Erik goes out of his way not to kill despite standing directly in the way of Erik’s goal.

Like, you remember my whole deal with Raven??? yeah that’s x10 in DoFP (which takes place quickly after this movie) yeah so her and Erik are close, and shown to be close, but the second he thinks she endangers his fam he literally 180′s so quick and tries to straight up murder her.

BUT HE FUCKING BENDS THE BULLET AROUND X’s HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X!!!!!!!!!! WHO’S LITERALLY 100% AGAINST HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST

Ok, that’s all. By the way I don’t want to like, up your expecations too much because I actually kind of hate X-Men: First Class almost as much as I love it?? it’s very..... of it’s era, and cheesy, and dumb--but fucking magneto you guys holy SHIT

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