#which i may actually do when i have the energy and opportunity
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Astrology observations 🌸🌸🌸
Credit goes to @astroismypassion
🌸 Ruler of the 2nd house in the 4th house: your mother might have got you your job. You have a job because of her.
🌸 Moon in the 4th house natives can be connected to female lineage of the family, like talking to mother, grandmother, an aunt. But that only if it’s harmoniously aspected. Some Moon in the 4th house cut off their mother.
🌸 Ruler of the 5th house in the 9th house: you are more popular abroad than in your home country.
🌸 Saturn in the 4th house natives often feel stuck. They might not be able to move as fast-paced as their peers. If they move to an apartment, they usually stay there for 4-7, even 10 years despite wanting to move earlier than that.
🌸 Ruler of the 2nd house in the 5th house: you might creative something within your workplace that gets limelight (gets talked about in the news, papers)! Such as for example you may work at a Michelin star restaurant and you are creating a dish that gets talked about in the press.
🌸 I noticed Saturn in the 4th house can very well indicate that the native has lost the mother. But often times I see that the native had a “secondary” mother like figure that emotionally nurtured them and supported more than their own mother. Usually the nurturing didn’t come from the primary source.
🌸 Whenever I see Saturn in the 2nd house, it gives me “old money vibes”.
🌸 The ruler of the 4th house in the 2nd house people often keep money in their home. These are the people to have a fairly large amount laying somewhere in the middle of book pages.
🌸 If you have Virgo North Node or NN in the 6th house you are basically learning in this lifetime how to keep a job. Very mundane, I know, but it’s true😂.
🌸 People with ruler of the 7th house in the 5th house often rush marriage or marry the person without really fully knowing them, for example after a year.
🌸 Juno in the 7th house native tend to work with their spouse, committed partner. Or finds a job due to an opportunity introduced by the partner. Usually is also a line of work connected with Venus, such as working together in a restaurant for example.
🌸 I noticed Pisces Moon men tend to be “the seductive con-artist” when it comes to luring a person into a partnership. And while this is often true, they also attract partners that see in them whoever they want to see. Usually how the partner of Pisces Moon sees them feels almost delusional in comparison how other people see the Pisces Moon native.
🌸 Venus in the 2nd house Synastry: 2nd house person might constantly compliment your outfit, even if you are not in a partnership.
🌸 Part of Fortune in the 1st house often need new beginnings in order to be successful in their endeavours, projects. They need to reinvent how they do things. They also attract more abundant energy when they start and finish the same project in one sitting, so that they use put their natural inspiration to good use.
🌸 Taurus Venus is always stereotypically describe, because Taurus it’s in his home here, so it feels the energy is easy for these people. But for these people it easily backfires if they are being inconsistent. They can’t really play the “ohh he didn’t reply in 2 days, then I won’t reply for 4 days” modern dating games. They really need to be the ones reaching out, being consistent to win someone over. Which kind of sucks, I know, because they will feel like they are always the one reaching out, so I hear you.
🌸 Venus in the 8th house can hook up with someone and in the midst they realize this person is their soulmate or lover. I’m not gonna lie, this native may not know whether they fully accept unconditionally their lover until they actually get physical with them. Venus in the 8th house hides their love nature, so they might not even know themselves.
🌸 Venus in the 9th house people can meet their future spouse, committed partner through your father.
🌸 Capricorn Venus: you might get hit on by clients, customers at work.
🌸 Cancer Jupiter, Sagittarius Moon might want to get married young or be a parent while they still are young and look good.
🌸 Meanwhile, Venus in the 4th house and Taurus over the 4th house can meet their lover through their mother. Or the mother will try to set you up with someone. Venus in the 6th house can meet the partner through your or their aunt or uncle. Venus in the 3rd house can meet the partner through your or their sibling, cousin.
🌸 Ruler of the 12th house in the 1st house: these natives can be perceived as passive. So that’s why people feel like they can control them. Another thing about this ruler not amount of drinking caffeine will help you in rising your energy. You are naturally low energy. You might also be more successful abroad.
🌸 Ruler of the 3rd house in the 2nd house people are often teachers, because it quite literally indicates speaking for a living. Also, you guys are great at voiceovers!!
🌸 Venus in the 10th house might have a partner in the same field, profession, for example both lawyers.
🌸 Ruler of the 7th house in the 6th house: your future spouse, partner could drive you to work and pick you from work as well.
🌸 The courting phase will be veryy long if you have ruler of the 7th house in the 5th house.
🌸 Mercury in the 5th house like variety when it comes to dating, because they get easily bored. However, I noticed they have a set preference for what type of dates they enjoy. They might always want to go for a coffee date, wine and dine date or hike date. Something about their dates tends to be still repetitive despite needing variety.
🌸 Mars in the 9th house rarely have a good relationship with their father. But if they do, the father was very strict with them wanting them to learn how to be successful, but kinda doing it in a domineering manner.
Credit goes to @astroismypassion
#astrology#astroismypassion#astro notes#astroblr#astro community#astro note#astro observations#natal chart#astrology blog#chart reading
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pick a picture
the relationship between you and your fs
left to right(top)-> 1,2
left to right(bottom)-> 3,4
°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes.
°Don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post (as i would entirely appreciate it).
° This is a GENERAL reading, take what resonates and leave and pass on what does not!
PILE 1-
so for you pile 1, the first card that came out was 'the star'. I feel like this relationship will allow both individuals to shine individually and together. There will be no 'oh you are in charge' or 'oh you are the breadwinner' -no, both of you will have your own important role in the relationship which will also bring both of you together.
I feel like when you two will be in public, you will not care of who or what sees you out together. It will feel like it is only you and them in the world. You will have so much confidence together that you cannot go a moment without showing that love and chemistry off, especially in public. Your relationship will definitely have a lot of hand holding, kissing, cuddles, playfulness that will be shown in public. You two will also be like one person. You may share in finances, bills, document, mail and so forth.
You may have troubles with each other family members or may have conflict with either of your parents. I feel like you will not share your relationship with either of your parents and that may cause conflicts. You may actually buy or own property together, shared name of property. However, you two may be sometimes too materialistic, perhaps all you two constantly communicate about is work or your financial matter and maybe that's all that is occupied in both your minds. This relationship could be all about money and financial gains, but it can bring out great success also.
There might be quite a lot of missed opportunities due to being so occupied in your work life. I feel like you will always be busy with your job and it may frequently rule over your life that you reject certain offers and opportunities such as parties, friend outings, friend birthdays, celebrations and so on. If the outing has nothing to do with your job, you will not think twice!! I feel like your emotions may be swooped under a carpet at times- or it will feel like it. You may be feeling like the relationship is missing some greater emotional connection.
Also i feel like you two will have a fixed schedule that you stick to on a day to day basis.
That is all!!!!
PILE 2-
Wow, this will be a very adoration, admiration type of relationship. There will be a lot of constant reminders of how beautiful the other one is or how talented they are and so forth. This relationship will thrive in motivation from the other person. I feel like you will be like excited to see, hear or even hang out with each other. Your relationship will be held together like a rock by constant support from the other partner. VERYYY supportive relationship.
This pile is very loving and is a very harmonious and mutually fulfilling partnership. AAAH, i cant stop mentioning on how much attraction there is, but there truly is soo much love and appreciation for one another. and the fact is that, your energies are going to match one another which i find very balancing. You may feel so much connection, this may be because you may be platonic spiritually connected souls. This may be in a karmic relationship and of course with that comes the healing and transformations, however this will only connect you two even more and bring you closer.
The relationship is going to be hella healthy for both of you. You will both get each other like no one has ever before. You will not depend on each other severely. I feel like uhh its just such a lovely connection. You both will respect each other boundaries and not push one another mentally if one is not comfortable with it. Even if there isn't a reason, both of you will understand how important it is to respect the decision of the other.
I feel like this partnership will allow total freedom for both party's, no one will feel tied down to the relationship. I feel like marriage may not be significant in this relationship either. Both of you may feel or have the same opinion about tying the knot, you both may not be into the idea.
Emotional support and connection will totally be present in the relationship. Both of you will not be afraid to express their feeling to each other. In fact i feel like, there will be urges to release any tension using emotions and sensuality.
That's it for you PILE 2!!!!!
PILE 3-
Aww, i feel like the relationship will be full of comfort sand happiness. Very youthful energy also, so may be quite careful with each other when it comes to words and actions. Also may be that the relationship can be more like a friendship rather than a romantic relationship.
you will never feel alone around them or without them in the room, same for them also. I feel like both of you will think of each other constantly when you are not together in public, which will bring a sense of warmth. Very sweet vibes here!!!! Yeah, your relationship will be full of thoughts of each other, I'm getting telepathic communication going on here!! like even without verbal communication, the other will understand what the partner wants.
I feel like money will be very blurry in your relationship, it will not be the theme for you both. I'm getting very grounded non materialistic couple.
Together you will feel like you have all you need in the world. When together, I'm telling you now, nothing will matter as much as caring about each other. It is very much nurturing and caring vibes ONLYY. Once again, quite spiritual too.
I feel like there will be quite a lot of fantasies and delusions about each other. You may dream about each other often also. But this also signifies nurturing nature, so the relationship will include a lot of motherly approaches. Preparing meals for one another, washing up for each other, giving each other emotional support and so on.
You may not talk about your relationship to others. You keep each other quite anonymous. Yes, you may mention that you are in a relationship but you both wont really give much detail to anyone. You will have your own individual lives and may be quite frankly too busy to talk about each other to other people.
Thank you for reading PILE 3!!
PILE 4-
Both may not be religious or may not practise their religion practises. May have a strong views about political statements that may be going on. May agree on a lot of things related to these topics or you two may like talking about them,
This relationship will be very grounding and protective. The relationship will bring a lot of financial gains and resources into your homes. You two may like to go shopping together or like to work together on projects. Very co-dependant.
This relationship will create new cycles and end old ones. This may bring a whole new perspective onto quite a lot of things. But i feel like this will bring positive opportunities for both of you. Yeah, i am feeling like you will both work together, either if its financially or mentally.
Both of you will see beauty in each other and let go of judging one another. I feel like this is because you will know so much of each other that you can almost fit yourself into their shoes and can understand what they went through. You will achieve a lot of partnership goals together. You may feel inspired by one another's work ethic and this may bring motivation to one another to develop more goals.
I feel like both of you will know where your role lies in the relationship, you don't follow stereotypical relationship standards- you both make up your own rules, and that's what works for you both.
You will learn a lot from one another, you share a lot of your life experiences together.
That's all PILE 4!!!!!
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I Wanna Be Yours | Joe Burrow
pairings : joe burrow x reader
word count:16k+
genre : best friends to lovers
synopsis: joe has been keeping his distance from you , upon discovering why your friendship changes forever.
warnings: reader being totally oblivious, mentions of slight body dysmorphia, reader has 🧚🏽♀️beauty marks🧚🏽♀️, Joe being an asshole for like a second, best friends doing couple shit, smut, oral sex (fem receiving), overstimulation, a rushed ending (literally wrote it at 3am),
A/n: finally letting my baby I've been keeping since July 2022 out, it's been well, may you find success 😭 enjoy yall
From Joey:
Hey, I'm skipping out on movie night. Sorry.
You stare down at your phone with a frown, after re-reading the text for the third time. Making sure you were reading things clearly. Your gaze reflects an aggressive glare. Are you fucking kidding me? He's bailed out on you yet again, you wouldn't be so annoyed if this was his first time canceling. However, recently, Joe has been clearly avoiding you at whatever cost. He has become particularly standoffish with you lately, giving you nearly every excuse in the book when you offer to hang out. If it's not working out, it's a team meeting, and when that's not an option- he says he's "too tired". His excuses were aplenty.
Joe has many attributes, but being a good liar isn't one of them. You knew something is wrong. Feeling very offended, you eventually begged him to hang out with you one day. After all, it's been a while since you two actually spent some time together, a perfect opportunity. But as soon as he showed up at your condo, your plan backfires. The plan for the day you arranged turned into Joe purposely busying himself away from you like the goddamn plague. Giving you halfhearted responses, making sure his attention was everywhere but you the entire time he was there while giving you the cold shoulder, in spite of what? You have no clue. And that is what's been killing you, the reason you're being utterly disregarded is entirely baseless.
That horrid hangout was last month, and since then you haven't seen and hardly talked to each other up till yesterday when you swallowed down the grudge you were planning on holding and invited him over for a movie night. Something you used to do frequently when you were kids.
Swallowing down the anger and hurt, a moment of worry comes through. If it was any other friend giving you nothing but a buoyancy of discourteousness you would've reciprocated the same energy. Without hesitation. However, this was no ordinary friend. This is your best friend, someone you have known ever since he was merely an awkward preteen that had an obsession with Nickelodeon and Disney. The first and only child you ever knew was when you first moved to Plains Ohio when you were just nine years old. It has always been you and him, the classic two peas in a pod. He saw you pass through every milestone, from having your first crush, to your first experience of heartbreak, and the first time you had fallen and broken a bone on your body at the local neighborhood playground which resulted in eleven-year-old Joe carrying you all the way home crying.
Just as he was there for you, you were there for him. Throughout all high school, you've been to every single one of his games, basketball or football. When he suffered through his drought at Ohio State you were there giving him encouragement and support. And when the opportunity came for Joe to take his talent down to Louisiana at LSU, you were right there. As well as taking multiple trips to games to support him, as you juggle between school and extracurricular activities. His career progressed into the NFL, and you sat right beside him on his parent's couch cheering him on. You were always there.
Reading his text over yet again you type out a response.
To: Joey
you've really been a terrible friend lately…if there's something wrong you can tell me
You watched as the "delivered" text turned into "read at 8:30pm". It wasn't long before the three grey dots appeared showing you that he was typing out a response. Sitting up from your slouched position on the couch, your heart race increases as you imagine all the possible responses to his reasoning for being such a shitty friend.
This better be a good fucking reason, you thought watching the gray dots appear and reappear again as if he was typing out a whole novel worth. You clicked your phone off and placed it beside you, not wanting to look at the screen any longer, hoping that it will somehow make his response come faster. You wish that he was face to face so you could take a read at his expression, maybe he'll feel guilty that he's treating you like this or angry as he expresses what you might've done to make him act this way.
Eventually, your phone buzzes, and a sigh leaves you as you muster up the courage to open the message. And when you do, your mouth slackens.
From Joey <3
K.
That's certainly not the response you were looking forward to, did he really just send you a one-word—not even a whole word—a one-letter text? Despite being absent in your presence it felt like he had landed the biggest slap on your face, followed by a simple "fuck you". The analogy was a bit drastic, sure but so was his response. It was deceptively simple, though it tells you a lot.
Your finger itches to hit the call button and give him an earful of scornful remarks. But you decided against it, knowing it would only add insult to injury he's clearly got an issue with you, and instead of being the one who does the chasing, you're going to let him come to you.
"Fuck him." You grumbled, shutting off your phone and tossing it aside with a little more force than usual as if you were imagining it hitting his face. Letting out a pitiful huff you look at the variety of snacks you had gotten scattered on the coffee table, including your best friend's favorites.
Without giving him another thought, you reluctantly grabbed the bowl of popcorn and turned on the TV. Your movements were sluggish and unintentionally nonchalant, the curiosity was still nagging in the back of your mind.
What the hell did I do to him?
"I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong," Mrs. Burrow assures you, a ground rake in her hands as she smooths out the soil bed. You stood in the middle of the miniature garden surrounded by vigorous plants, fruits, and vegetables. After your somber movie night two days ago, your curiosity only grew about Joe's unorthodox behavior. Despite telling yourself you weren't going to go on a wild goose chase for him.
Truth be told, you had too much of an empathic nature about you to give him the cold shoulder right back. As much as you wanted to, that was simply not your character.
You were his best friend, someone with whom he can tell everything whether it was good or bad. It felt very defective to brush him off aside not knowing if he was undergoing something that was truly difficult. To have a better insight along with some real needed advice, you decide to unleash your complications on Mrs. Burrow, his mom. Hoping to have a clear-cut understanding of what's been going on with her son.
"Has he contacted you since?" She adds, pausing a moment to stick the tool into the ground leaning against it, with one hand on her hip.
You bit your lip, looking off to the side. "He tried to,"
"What does that mean?" She furrowed her eyebrows curiously.
"He texted me yesterday morning and I left it on read." You said almost shamefully as you realize how immature it appears. But you honestly didn't care. If he was going to act petty with you for whatever reason, you were going to do the same with him. "It was only a Spongebob meme, but that's his way of trying to act like everything is okay." You were sure of it.
"You kids are truly something else, I don't like seeing you guys like this." Mrs. Burrow shook her head in disapproval.
"He's the one who started it!" You exclaim, feeling a sense of deja vu of the time when you and Joe were kids and would point the finger at each other about who broke her favorite vase. "Sorry, I'm probably putting you in a really awkward position right now." You said sheepishly, making your way to the small two-person table and taking a seat with a sigh.
She followed suit taking a seat on the opposite side of you, the rake still in her hands.
"Honey, you're fine. This is just all so unsuspected." She says.
And you could see why, you and Joe hardly ever had any problems, sure you guys would bicker about something every now and then. But it has never come down to this where one is being hostile towards the other, you could remember the times you were mad at him for no less than two days, let alone have the ability to be disdainful for weeks like he's been with you.
That's what hurts the most, him allowing himself to be distant without a care in the world, acting as if though it doesn't affect him. Here you were mind going crazy about what he's possibly going through, yet it seems to be he doesn't give two-shits about how you're feeling and concerns right now.
"I don't know what to do," You said, sounding completely defeated, leaning your chin in your palm.
"Maybe you should go talk to him, face to face?" She suggests.
"Yeah, I guess that wouldn't be too terrible." You agreed reluctantly, that had been your next move even though a part of you wanted him to come to you instead.
"So," Mrs. Burrow said with a smile. "I hear you're dating someone."
You let your face light up in surprise at her abrupt mention of your dating life, automatically knowing who informed her.
"His name is Malik." You told her though you're more for certain that she already knew that.
She let out a hum, before looking at you seriously. "Is he treating you right? I heard he's a bit of a playboy."
You wanted to roll your eyes, of course, Joe ranted off his hatred for Malik, saying the same shit, yes Malik had his reputation as a playboy back in high school. However, years passed and a lot has changed so much that you didn't even recognize him when you ran into each other at the grocery store, the presumptuous and egoistic high school boy you once knew was now replaced with an amiable and responsible man. Yet you couldn't get Joe to see that, no matter how much you pleaded and begged for him to hear you out about Malik he simply wouldn't listen.
You still remember the day you told him about the first date you were going on with Malik, angry was an understatement describing how Joe reacted.
Multiple curses fell from your lips, as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror struggling to wrap your thick and luxuriant hair into a neat ponytail. Due to how voluminous your hair is, your hands were insignificant trying to grasp every single strand. This has been a complication with you for as long as you could remember, when your hair is not tamed you would always need a second pair of hands to assist. And those hands would always lead to,
"Joey!" You called out, letting your arms flop down to your sides in defeat. He was supposed to have a lunch date with his friends who were bringing their gfs/wives, not wanting to feel like the oddball he invited you to keep him company. You were supposed to leave twenty minutes ago, and you just knew if you kept taking a chance with your hair it would be hours.
Grasping your brush and two ecstatic hairbands, you left the bathroom.
"Yeah?" His voice sounded muffled coming from all the way downstairs.
You skipped down the stairs and made your way into the living room seeing him sitting on the edge of the sofa, legs spread, with his phone in hand, eyes focused on the screen.
"Can you help?" You asked, holding up your hands which held the brush and hairband.
Almost immediately he pulls his attention away from his phone to look at you with a small smile. "Sure, c'mere."
Your heart skipped a beat at his attention towards you, you made your way towards him without saying a word, you handed him the brush and hair band before plopping down on the floor in between his legs. His thick thighs caged you in, barley being covered due to the pink shorts he wore, you were so close to him the scent of his cologne filled your senses.
This was a bad idea, you thought, feeling him carefully brush your hair. Relishing in his gentle touch, you had been in the position many times before with him helping you with your hair, why does it feel different now? The answer is, In those times you didn't stupidly develop a crush on him.
As much as you tried to ignore it, those thousands of butterflies swarming around inside you couldn't be stopped. Or the hopelessly long gazes you found yourself giving him when he wasn't looking. It was incredibly impossible not to fall for him. He's so sweet, considerate, understanding, yet so complex in many things as well as being extremely overprotective. But you didn't care, he wouldn't be Joe if he didn't have all those aspects about him.
A small sigh of content escapes you before you could stop it, due to how engrossed you were into thinking about the man that was generously helping out in doing your hair.
He paused and set the brush aside before grasping both of your cheeks, tilting your head back so you could look at him in an upside down Spiderman kiss way.
"You good?" He asks, his thumb rubbing by your hairline.
A shiver went down your spine at the seemingly loving gesture. Sometimes you wonder if Joe ever felt an ounce of the same feelings you have for him. But then you remember Joe has always been affectionate and gentle towards you, it wouldn't be right for you to try and make it into something that it's not.
Giving him a weak smile you nodded your head that was currently being cradled in his large hands. "I'm fine."
"C'mon you can tell me." His eyes twinkled with curiosity at your feeble response.
No you can't, you really couldn't not without dying from shame and embarrassment.
"Really I'm fine" you say , looking deep into his blue eyes a few strands of hair fell down his forehead from him leering over you, your fingers itching to brush it away.
Joe starts to open his mouth to say something when the phone that was in the front pocket of your shorts began ringing. He removes his hands from your face and settles them back into your hair as you retrieve your phone.
You looked at the caller ID and noticed it said 'Malik' almost immediately you hurriedly pressed ignore in guilt. Here you were sitting in between the legs of your best friend who you have a huge crush on, while the guy that was taking you out on Friday night was calling you.
"Who's Malik?" Joe asks with a familiar caution in his voice.
Oh boy, you knew a wave of excessive protection was headed your way. Along with some serious interrogation, after your last not-so-pretty breakup two years ago almost every boy you ever showed interest since then Joe manages to scare them off. These days you won't dare mention a guy that you were seeing in wary of Joe's overprotective tendencies.
"Malik, ya know from high school? I ran into him at the store two weeks ago, um, we've been talking since," You trailed off, noticing the brushing of your hair was getting slower and slower. You could practically hear the gears turning inside his head. " He wants to take me out on Friday."
"Malik as in, Malik Jack-ass?!" He exclaimed, stopping his movements.
You glanced over your shoulder, his expression was hard to read but you could tell the bits of shock coming from it.
"It's Jackson, and yes." You say, not wanting to refer him to the nickname you and Joe came up with in high school.
"What the hell are you doing talking to him?" The wrinkles between his eyebrows appeared as he looked at you with confusion and annoyance.
"Because I can? Look, he's not the same Malik from high school okay? He's really changed." You explained.
He lets out a scoff. "And you know that from the amount of time you've been talking to him, which is?"
You hated how he made sense.
"Two weeks," You mumble out, watching Joe throw his hand up in the air in exaggeration. "But, I can just tell he's different now! If he was the same guy back then, I wouldn't last a day talking to him."
"You don't think he still has those same qualities ? People just don't get rid of that shit, that's usually the type of person that they are!" His voice was heavy with fury and his eyes were narrowed. Joe always has a protective effect over you, but you've never seen him express this much anger over a guy you were talking to.
"Whatever Joe, it's not cool to judge people from their past, especially when they were in high school!" You shot back, turning your body back around prompting him to continue with your hair.
"I'm not being judgemental I'm simply taking into consideration the way he's treated girls so he won't do the same to you." He gathers your hair a little roughly and tight forming it into a high ponytail causing you to hold on to his bare thigh for stability as you wince.
"Ow! Take it easy," You scolded, swatting him on the leg. "And he won't!" You said after he was finished, turning back around to face him, still sitting in between his thighs.
"How would you know? You're not going on the date." He responded, you gave him a look of bewilderment .
Did you hear that right?
"Excuse me?" You questioned, eyebrows being raised in shock.
"You heard me, I'd be the worst fucking friend ever to let you set yourself up for disaster like that." His jaw was clenched, and you noted the way he said the word 'friend' almost as if he was disgusted to call himself that which confused you a whole lot more.
"You're not acting like my friend, you're straight up acting like my goddamn father right now! Which is so fucking annoying let me do what I want to do Joe, I'm not helpless." You huffed out, due to you being only two years younger than him for as long as you could remember Joe looked at you as if you weren't responsible or competent . He had his reasons to think that, back when you were younger however you needed him to know that you were twenty-three years old, very much capable of handling your own situations and relationships.
Joe looks at you for what seems like forever with mixed emotions, before letting out a humorless laugh and throwing up his hands as if he was backing off. "Okay, you got it, I'll be sure to refrain from saying "I fucking told you so" when shit doesn't work out the way you wanted it to."
And he was right, things hadn't been working out the way you wanted to, but Malik wasn't the problem—far from it actually, it was you, for the longest you'd been trying to force the feelings you have for Joe to disappear and create something with Malik. Which ultimately made you try to walk in a relationship with only for the convenience it brings. You were content for the time being but you weren't truly over the moon or jumping with joy. All because you couldn't shake off the devotion you have for Joe. In the short time of five months with Malik you've found yourself thinking about him.
Every.Single.Time
Whenever Malik pulls you into a hug, you couldn't help but to think about Joe's much longer and stronger ones being wrapped around you. When he goes to give you a kiss, you imagine the lips you've been itching to taste for years, being pressed against yours. There was no way around it, and you felt completely horrible knowing Malik didn't deserve any of it. Which is why you ended things with him two weeks ago.
You inform Mrs. Burrow that you were currently single and weren't seeing him anymore. Her face contorts in surprise, with a bit of joy?
"Oh dear, what happened? He didn't do anything, did he?" She asks with concern
"No, it just didn't feel right, I guess." Your words come out in a mumble of shame, knowing you ended a potentially good relationship with someone due to your overwhelming love you have for your best friend who's currently ignoring you.
"Hm, wasn't the kind of guy that you're going for?" She says with a knowing smile, you felt as if her words had a double meaning to them or maybe your detection was off.
"No," You let out a sigh. " He wasn't."
"Does Joe know?" She asked curiously.
"No, don't think he'll care too much anyway." You shrugged.
"You don't know that, it'll probably make his day." She waves her hand dismissively, causing your eyebrows to knit together.
At first, her words confused you, why would Joe be happy? There was no reason for him to be before your realization hits you like a truck. You remember Joe's off Standish behavior when you first brought Malik around him, it was at a small get-together party hosted by your mutual friend from high school, and his displeasure went unnoticed by everyone. You thought it was just his socially awkward persona, but now you are looking back at all the times his mood went black whenever Malik was in his presence. Now that you are in deep thought about it, you realize that the whole time you were with Malik Joe was slowly distancing himself from you.
Was he still holding his animosity towards your decision to date Malik?
"I assume you'll be able to make it this weekend though right?" She says, breaking you away from your thoughts.
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What's going on this weekend?"
"The trip to Hocking Hills," She said. "Joe told me you wouldn't be able to make it because you made plans with Malik."
"I'll try to make it." You told her, depending on how your visit with Joe would go.
After chatting with Mrs. Burrow for a couple of minutes you finally said your goodbyes and made your way to your car. As you drive down the familiar street of Joe's neighborhood, in preparation for how this unsuspected visit from you will go. You couldn't help but feel nervous, not knowing what the outcome will be. Eventually, you made it to his luxurious townhouse, as you parked behind his Porsche in the driveway you notice an unfamiliar car parked in front of the lawn with the engine running, when you got out and walked up the gravel walkway you glance at the green neon lights in the windshield, squinting your eyes you realize the word 'uber' is branded inside the car.
As you neared the entrance of the home, you went to lift up your hand to knock on the door. But before you could do that, the door swung open revealing not only a shirtless Joe but a girl next to him who made you do a double take due to the fact she was a girl you didn't think Joe would go for, she's a girl who looks just like you.
The sight has you completely baffled, she has your exact physique, along with the same type of full hair, and the same skin complexion. The only thing you notice that's different is her facial features, which helped with noticeable botox.
Definitely a instagram model, you thought eyes dancing around her entire physique. Her own eyes looked you up and down condescending.
"Did I come at a bad time?" You asked taking a quick glance at Joe noticing his arm wrapped around the girl's waist.
"No you're fine." Joe clears his throat before saying. "This is-"
"Abby! My name is Abby" The girl interrupts give you smug smile as she offers her hand.
You took another look at Joe before bringing your attention to Abby grasping her hand with a tense smile. "Y/n, nice to meet you."
"I didn't know, you were coming over" Joe spoke, his voice laced with surprise and his face burned red as if he'd been caught sticking his hand in the cookie jar.
"Yeah, thought I'd pop up to see how you were doing." You cut your eye at him as you gave him a sarcastic smile.
Abby clears her throat looking between you two, more specifically you as she takes note of your tensed expression as you glare at the man beside her.
"Well, um, I'm gonna head out." Abby spoke, sensing the tension, she turned to Joe and gave him a sly smile. "Call me?"
He struggles to look at her as he replies."I will stay safe."
Abby proceeds to walk out giving you a subtle nod as you watch her walk down the walkway and into the backseat of the Uber, when the car door closes you turn to face Joe with a raised eyebrow.
"What's that look?" He asks as you step inside, closing the door behind you.
"Nothing, just surprising your dipping your toe into something new." You said turning around to face him, taking in his disheveled appearance. His hair was slightly messy with a few curls dropping down, and his sweatpants hung low. Before you slipped into the depths of a salivating horn ball, you quickly looked away. "Or should I say your dick?"
Joe let out a breathless chuckle, running his hand over his hair multiple times. "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" You mocked, Joe rolled his eyes at your childish answer as he stepped away from the doorway. "The real question is, what's up with your attitude lately?" You follow him out of the foyer and into the living room, where you spot two empty wine glasses. With a frown you turned your attention elsewhere, hating the fact that it was more likely when you were sitting watching horrible movies all night by yourself, Joe was accompanying someone else as you drowned in sorrow from his absence.
"Nothing, I've just been busy." He says looking everywhere but your face as he grabs the glasses from the coffee table and heads to the kitchen.
"With Abby?" You say, leaning your forearms against the island counter as you watch him place the glasses in the sink. "Is that why you're acting like this?" You questioned again, You couldn't help the bitterness in your tone, from jealousy and anger.
From all the years you've known Joe, you know that he likes to keep his relationships private, and behind closed doors. He has a history of withholding his relationship status for the longest until he suddenly pops up with a girl on his arm randomly. To this day he wouldn't gossip about any girl that he takes interest in, he'd rather keep it to himself. Displaying his romantic life with anyone for Joe was a no-go.
"Acting like what? and no, she's just a friend." He responds, rinsing the glasses. His back was turned to you, showing a clear view of his toned muscular shoulder blades with faint red scratch marks. You managed to force yourself to look away, automatically knowing that his definition of her being a "friend" meant that her role is a casual hookup.
"A "friend" who you ditched your real friend for?" You questioned shooting daggers at the back of his head, before adding. "Your best friend actually, who had to spend her Friday night alone."
"Is that what this visit is about?" He asked turning around while letting out a small huff when he noticed the small glare upon your pretty features, ignoring the way how cute your nose scrunched up or your soft lips form into a pout.
"Yes! amongst other things, I want to get clear with you." You answered, relaxing your hostile stare.
He let out a hum briefly looking you up and down before saying. "What is it?"
You stood up straighter fiddling with your car keys in hand. "Are you still mad at me for dating Malik? Is that why you've been trying to be distant?"
The curiosity in you peaked more as you watched him draw back, his demeanor appearing to be flabbergasted, while he battled with himself to give you an answer. You wonder if he was conflicted between telling the truth or giving you a bold face lie.
"No, I'm not mad about your dating life. You are your own person. It's not my place to have a say about who you chose to have in your life." He finally says, after a couple minutes of silence. "You're happy, that's all that matters."
You laughed sarcastically. "You know, that would be so touching if it were true."
"It is the truth!"
"If it is, then why are you being so shitty towards me?" You pressed.
"I have not. You're being ridiculous."
"No, you are. You canceled on me yet again!"
Joe rolls his eyes. "Me canceling your plan to hangout automatically makes me a shitty person? Really?"
"No but doing it consistently and purposely makes you one." You said not understanding how can he not see what you were coming from.
"Oh that's rich coming from you." He chuckles as he shook his head.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"How many times have you canceled out on me to make plans with Malik? Do you see me coming into your home calling you a "shitty person" ? No! So cut all of this bullshit out!" His voice is raised and you could see redness creeping upon his neck.
He was getting angry.
"Are you serious? I have never stood you up for Malik it was always work-related." You look at him in disbelief before chuckling." Every time you find a way to bring him up, that just goes to show me you are acting like this because of him."
For some reason you didn't want to tell him you ended things with Malik. The fact he was willing to be mad at you for your choice to date him and neglect you because of it has you pissed.
He threw his hands up in frustration while letting out a deep sigh. "I'm not doing this with you."
"Doing what?"
"Having an argument. Because I called off on a stupid movie night." He furrows his eyebrows as he stares down at you with annoyance. "Don't you have a boyfriend to do that with any way or was he too busy balls deep in another chick to care?"
You felt a deep ache in your stomach as the words leave his mouth. You were hurt for two reasons: him calling your movie night "stupid" especially since you went all out for it buying his favorite snacks and the fact he couldn't see that you really wanted to spend time with him. Not Malik. Him the man who you're really in love with.
"What's really stupid is that you neglect me because you hate Malik so much!" This time your voice was raised as you glare at him.
"I already told you that's not true I've been busy!" He yells running a hand through his hair in frustration.
"Bullshit!" You shouted in return before trying to calm yourself. "Honestly I better go before I say something I regret later."
Joe scoffs while shrugging. "You know where the door is."
You bit the inside your cheek resisting the urge to reach over the counter wrapping your hands around his neck. However, you were never a violent person and couldn't imagine putting your hands on your best friend. So instead without giving him a glance you snatch your keys from the counter muttering under your breath "I hope Abby gave you crabs"
"What did you say?" He asked pushing himself away from the counter. You purposely didn't respond knowing it was one of his biggest pet peeves. As you proceeded to head towards the front door, you could hear his footsteps trailing after you.
"Fine you don't have to tell me, just know I won't be answering your calls or texts!" He shouted after you.
You laughed sarcastically. "Oh what will I ever do without talking to you."
"That's funny considering that's the exact reason you're here right now" He said smugly.
There is no doubt that he has you there, but you cannot allow him to have the final word.
"Unfortunately Malik was unavailable." You shot back .
"Yeah spending time with his other girlfriend I'd assume." Damn he won.
"Shut up!"
"You shut up!"
"Don't tell me to shut up!"
"Just did!"
You would've laughed at the childish banter if you weren't highly annoyed. Leave it to you two to argue like children. Without saying another word you yank the front door opened and proceeded to walk angrily over to your car.
Joe shut the door loudly with a sigh hearing your car drive away. He hates fighting with you, in fact, he hates anything that causes a frown on your face. And knowing he was the reason made him feel like shit. Of course, when you confronted him about being distant, he knew where you were coming from. You were right he has been pushing you away because of Malik. He felt as if its the right thing to do. It made him sick to his stomach that Malik gets to hold and kiss you the way he's been yearning to do for years. To the point the feeling was becoming overwhelming he needed to stay away. Of course, he feels guilty and a little disgusted with himself to put you in the position of feeling like you've done something wrong.
Especially since it's not your fault he's fallen head over heels for you.
The situation is definitely not easy to be in since he's convinced you for sure don't love him like he loves you. Each day goes by and it feels like the feeling grows stronger and gets deeper. He knows feeling this way will only cause a great deal of trouble. The love continues to evolve whenever you were near even when you two were arguing he felt his heart swell with heavy emotion. There were many times he thought about just blurting out how much he's in love with you however in came that fear of confessing to someone you've been close to and tarnishing the indestructible bond you developed.
In fact he would rather suffer knowing you are smitten by another man , than to not have you as his best friend. He couldn't imagine losing you even though it already felt as if he had the minute you told him you're dating Malik.
Letting out another deep sigh, Joe walked into his living room and plopped down on the couch fishing his phone from his pocket to try and get his mind off you for once. Of course, that didn't go well because as soon as he opened his phone he was met with a picture of the two of you on his lock screen.
The picture was taken by his mom on the day of his 25th birthday when you gifted him a bouquet of peach-colored flowers. He remembers the embrace he pulled you in tightly, the pleasant smell of your natural, earthy, and rich scent as he thanked you. As well, he recalls pulling away when his mom announced that she was taking a picture of you both with her brand-new digital camera. Immediately you jumped up in his arms, and your legs were wrapped sideways around his waist in a hip carry position. No surprise there you were always an intimate hugger, never shying away to hold someone close. Your arms encircled his neck, he could feel his cheek pressing against yours as his right forearm gripped your waist and his left hand held the flowers firmly. You smiled brightly as the camera flashed.
Ultimately it became his favorite photo of you both, mostly because how naturally you two looked so much like a couple.
Additionally, the picture managed to capture his favorite piece of jewelry on you. You received it as a college graduation present from him: a two-piece diamond anklet bracelet. The idea of him spending a large amount of money on something so small on you was something you absolutely didn't want to accept at first. It seems you never take it off now, which he really enjoys.
A caller ID soon took over his screen interrupting his gaze. He answers it without hesitation.
"Hey Mom, what's up?" He said.
"Nothing much just finished making your father and I's lunch." Said Mrs.Burrow. "You know Mrs. Elwood from down the street? The nice lady that used to give you and y/n's those gigantic candy bars? Poor thing fell down the stairs."
"Really? That's terrible. Is she okay?" Joe furrowed his eyebrows in concern.
"She suffered a broken hip unfortunately but other than that she's fine. Luckily her daughter was visiting and immediately called 911. So she's currently in the hospital right now, maybe you and y/n can visit her ?" She tells him.
He stayed silent for a moment not knowing if he should tell his mom about the argument he'd just had with you.
"Joe? Hello?"
"Yeah, Ma I'll see." He murmurs picking at the loose thread of his sweatpants. With ample opportunity he'll visit he just wasn't so sure you'll both go together.
"Honey are you okay? you sound a bit down when you picked up the phone." She could immediately detect the sourness in his tone.
"Me and Y/N kinda gotten into an argument." He blurts out, knowing there was no way he could get away from his mom's intuition.
There was silence on the other end for a minute. Now it was Joe's turn to call out. "Mom you there?"
"I'm here, just thinking what in god's name is going on with you two. "
"I don't know mom, she came over bringing up the fact I'm not being a good friend to her." He explains. "Then it escalated from there."
"Was it a really bad argument?"
He shook his head as if she could see him. "No. It was just ridiculous. Her argument completely stems from the fact I didn't join her for movie night."
"And why didn't you?" His mom asked curiously.
"I've been busy." Joe said defensively.
"With what?"
"You know working out, training camp is in a couple weeks. Umm—" He stops to think of any other things he was currently doing which wasn't much.
"Here I'll finish it for you, avoiding my best friend because I'm in love with her and I don't like the fact that she's dating someone." She said in a mocking deep voice.
"Mom!"
"What?! That's exactly what you're doing Joey. And you are breaking her heart in the process." She scowls. "This method of trying to make your feelings go away is not doing you any good. You need to tell her how you feel now is a perfect time."
"How is now the perfect time mom? pretty sure she's got me on her block list." He said while rolling his eyes and he wasn't kidding he knew you can get petty like that.
"For one she's coming on the trip-" His mom started to say but what cut off.
"Mom I already told you she can't make it." He huffs out sinking deeper into a grumpy mood remembering why you're not going. Fucking Malik Jack-ass's birthday since when did you actually give a shit? he swears he never thought he'd see the day.
"Yeah, when she was dating that Malik guy," Robin says and he could practically see the smirk on her face.
What?
"What do you mean?" He asks incredulously. There was a tugging in his heart as his mind process her words. What does she mean by "was dating"? He was certain you were still seeing Malik and you weren't going on the trip.
"I mean Romeo, your girl is single and she's making it to the trip this weekend."
He felt as if ice-cold water have been thrown on him. Millions of questions were running rapidly in his head. You and the Jack-ass broke up? Since when? Why didn't you tell him?
Before he could utter out another word his mom continues to clarify.
"I talked to her earlier when she came over pretty upset by you and told me during our conversation." She adds.
"What? why didn't she tell me?" Joe now felt bad and concerned as to what the hell might've happened between you and Malik.
"She said you probably wouldn't care considering the way you're acting toward her."
If he felt bad before, he now feels like shit. It was a fight between happiness and having pins and needles stick him repeatedly. Before he can do any internal celebrating he needs to know if you were distraught in any kind of way. No matter how long he waited for this day to come he couldn't be happy with himself knowing you were undergoing heartbreak.
"Did she say why?" He said carefully his mind racing with all the possibilities of why you two would break up; Did the old Malik show up? Was he not giving you the amount of attention you deserve?.
"Just that he wasn't the guy she was going for," Robin said reassuringly she knew how passionate Joe was about you. " Don't worry she said he didn't do anything bad, they ended things on good terms."
With that, Joe finds himself at ease but only for a bit, he couldn't fully relax unless he hears it from you directly face-to-face. He wants to know you're not sugar-coating anything in protection for Malik because God knows how badly he's been wanting an excuse to punch him square in the face. Joe was never a fighter by no means but when it comes to his love he wouldn't hesitate to protect.
You hated packing.
Mostly because you were terrible at it. In the past you overpacked so much you felt ridiculous, now you're scrambling around trying to limit the number of outfits and necessities. You tried to make it a thought process but ultimately threw in what you felt is necessary. With a huff, you zipped your travel bag not feeling entirely satisfied you knew once you get to the resort you'd forgotten something. For a moment you thought about not actually going, the argument with Joe still had you in a sour mood best friends or not there's no way you'll enjoy being in his presence for three whole days. But despite that, you knew you couldn't leave Robin in the lurch especially after giving your word.
Halfway through you gathering your items, three loud knocks were heard at the door. Furrowing your eyebrow you checked your phone to see who could be possibly stopping by, but nothing. There wasn't any new text messages and the last person you to talk with was Robin telling her you were still getting ready.
Your feet padded along the carpeted floor toward the door, and curiosity peaked until it didn't. Standing there dressed in a white tee and white hoochie daddy shorts, is Joe practically towering over you.
Immediately your eyebrows were pulled down as you eyed him." What are you doing here?"
"You look nice." He said, looking over your appearance. Nice being an understatement, you looked beautiful, he thank God for the heatwave Cincinnati was currently experiencing because if it weren't for that you wouldn't be standing there in a mini floral print lace dress. You never really wore dresses or anything that showed off your body casually, always finding comfort in baggy stylish clothes. You've always preferred to rather leave something to the imagination. That's one of the things he loves about you.
"Thanks." You mumble, tugging at the cropped cardigan even though it was almost crossing over to 90 degrees outside. Despite the compliment, you still kept your tone cold. "Now are you going to answer my question?"
"Can I come in first? I brought lunch." He helped up a bag in his hand that you didn't notice before.
You contemplate for a minute eyes darting between him and the bag, which has the logo of your favorite restaurant on it. He's trying to butter me up, you thought getting a whiff of the fresh food.
Without saying a word you step aside, you told yourself you were only doing this because you missed out on breakfast. Like knowing the back of his hand Joe navigates through your condo and into your living room. He set the food bag on the coffee table before sitting on the curved sectional sofa. There his expression flicker to something unreadable as he makes eye contact with you.
"Why are you showing up here unannounced?" You asked while taking a seat in your lounge chair.
"Like you did with me a couple days ago?" He raised an eyebrow at you, his tone wasn't irritated or vexed but rather amusing in fact if you weren't mistaken he seem to be in a good mood. A certain glow in his demeanor catches your attention. His overall presence felt relaxed and less annoyed the opposite of what you've seen for months now.
Abby probably lifted up his mood this morning The thought left a bitter feeling in your chest and for that, it made your glare towards him even harder.
Joe notices your harsh stare and chuckles finding it rather cute, of course, he knew you were rightfully mad at him but he couldn't help it your angry faces were never intimidating in the slightest. "Would you stop pouting? you're gonna get wrinkles by the time you hit thirty."
"You still haven't answered my question as to why you are here." You started crossing your legs as well as your arms.
"Maybe if you hadn't blocked my number, you would know." He said reaching into the bag and pulling out the take-out containers. The fresh smell had your stomach grumbling and mouth-watering
"Well, you did say not to call or text." You shrugged. "I was just making it easier for you."
"It isn't. Believe me, not exactly a good day if I don't hear from you. " He sighs. His voice sounded soft and gentle you'd never heard him speak like this before. As soon as his pale blue eyes met yours, you instantly felt a tickling sensation at the pit of your stomach as if millions of butterflies were crowded in one tiny room.
He looks at you with so much....love? no, It can't be. You wanted to scoff at your own delusions of course you would mistake his happy mood for something that's not that there.
Clearing your throat and breaking away from his eyes. "Are you going to answer my question?"
"Do I have to? C'mon, you know we always ride together whenever we go on a trip." Joe didn't care how mad you were at him, there's no way you could break a tradition like that.
"Who says I'm going on the trip?" You said nonchalantly. Though you had a pretty good idea of who it was that told him.
He rolled his eyes. "My mom told me. But you already knew that, so would you stop being stubborn?"
You expected him to elaborate more on what Robin told him specifically about the fact why you weren't seeing Malik anymore but it never came.
You raised an eyebrow while scoffing. "Forgive me for not wanting to be stuck in the car you."
"Look, I know you're still mad at me and for that I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you the best way I know how."
"By giving me food?" You quirked an eyebrow while accepting the container he handed off to you.
He chuckles showing off a duchenne smile. "Well I don't know anything other than food that will make you forgive me."
Your love and affection
a kiss maybe ?
"Coughing up Tee's number didn't cross your mind?" You half-joked. If you weren't stupidly in love with your best friend Tee would definitely be the guy you'll try to go for. He's so sweet and smells good every time you're around him.
Joe instantly loses his smile as he looks at you irritated. Making you laugh out loud. You don't know why, but it amuses you when Joe always felt strange at the thought of you with someone from his team. In fact, he told you it would feel similar, liking one of his blood brothers. "No, It didn't. It never will."
"Don't worry, I'll get it out of you somehow." You assured.
"Good luck with that." He says, shaking his head.
"I'm guessing you're not going to leave until I agree to ride with you, huh?" You inquired as you observed him comfortably lean back into the sofa. He took up the majority of the space, sitting there with his legs wide open and one arm stretched out.
God, you were supposed to be mad at him. But him sitting there looking like that your grudge is becoming fruitless.
"You guessed right. I'm not leaving here without you." He clarifies keeping his eyes trained on you. His gaze has been possessing since the moment he walked in. You heart skips a beat it was a look you certainly wasn't used to coming from him.
Lord give me strength. You thought while swallowing as you focus your attention back on your food.
The humming engine and music faintly played in the background filled the silence in the car. As Joe drove along the highway, one hand on the wheel, the other was picking at his lip. It's about an hour into the ride, and you have yet to indulge in a full conversation with him, only talking in a monotone, giving him occasional one-worded responses, and even answering with "k". He knew you were on some petty payback plan and had every right to be. Back at your condo, he thought maybe the food he'd bring will soften you up to him and it did, but only for a moment. As soon as you two hit the road, you were disconnected from him. Now he was left feeling pretty angsty, never have you two been on a quieter ride in your entire life, especially on a road trip. He really fucked up. With a sigh, he took snuck a peek at you and was met with the most endearing sight.
As your head rested against the window, hands crossed and eyelids hanging low, you stared ahead dazed. Sleep was just a few seconds away. Soft puffy lips he'd dreamt of kissing so many times were slightly parted. The wind that was coming through the window was blowing you long coils all around, you looked ethereal. And even more so in that dress, he wonders if Malik ever had the chance to see you in it or if was he the first person to witness such beauty. Sundresses were never your go-to summer fit so probably.
He came to the realization that you had taken off your sweater and that the strap of your dress had fallen off your shoulder revealing more of the swell of your breast. That's when he saw them. Tiny parallel streaks of thinned glossy skin printed on the slope of your breast. Stretch marks. He'd heard you complain about them to your girlfriends over the phone one time calling the marks ugly.
How so wrong you were. He felt they made you more enticing. Lifelike even. They were an everyday beauty of something he'll like to see often. Striking and heavenly just like you.
The sound of a loud horn pulls him away from his stare.
"Shit!" He cursed loudly placing both hands on the wheel as the angry driver of the semi-truck blew their horn again.
You jerked up in surprise a shriek left your lips as the car narrowly avoid contact.
"Jesus! Joey are you trying to kill us?!" You shouted, heart, feeling like it was ready to burst from your chest.
"Sorry, I kind of spaced out." He replied. His face beat red not sure if it was from almost crashing or the embarrassing fact that you were the reason he was distracted. You were quite literally going be the death of him.
"You're red." You stated with a frown of concern. "Are you okay? Do you want me to drive?"
"No! I'm fine, really." He clears his throat keeping his eyes forward. "Just the heat is getting to me I guess."
The window was immediately rolled up and you reached for the console control panel, where you tapped the ventilation system and selected 'fast air conditioning' without saying a word.
It was something any normal person would do if they were in the middle of a heat wave, however, since he knew you always preferred to have your window down. He didn't bother turning on the air.
Silence filled the car for the next few minutes with Joe's attention fully on the road with a faint smile.
You notice. "What's that grin for?"
"You called me Joey."
"And?" You said wanting him to elaborate more.
"That means you aren't mad at me anymore. Whoohoo!" He cheered taking one hand off the wheel to reach over and enthusiastically shake your shoulder.
Your tongue poked the inside of your cheek trying not to smile at his over-the-top celebration. "Yeah, well, after nearly experiencing death I thought maybe holding a grudge isn't the best way to go out."
"Now who's the one being dramatic? We weren't going to die I had it under control."
"Lost in your thoughts so much you almost crashed is having it under control?" You raised an eyebrow watching him struggle to answer. "What were thinking about anyway?"
You, as always. He thinks.
"How much you were right about me." He says and then fell silent.
He could practically hear the gears in your head turning.
"What do you mean?"
Taking a deep breath his gaze remains on the road. " I didn't like the fact you were with Malik. "
"Why?" Your tone had a sense of hopefulness to it as if you were expecting him to say something.
"Because," He paused thinking over the next words that were going to leave his mouth before continuing to say. " I was stuck into thinking he was the same person from high school and I didn't want my best friend with someone who would hurt her in the end."
Joe missed the way your face dropped with disappointment.
"Well, he didn't."
"I heard. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Other than the fact I'm back to square one, I'd say I'm feeling fine." You said bitterly crossing your arms.
"Don't sweat it, the right one will come." He said.
You scoff. "Easy for you to say, you got people flocking to you left to right."
"Oh, and you don't?Superbowl girl" Joe teased.
You groaned out loud at him referring to the time you went viral for attending the Superbowl the camera broadcast you for millions to see for five seconds. Within a short period of time, you gained followers and thirsty users in your direct messages. For some reason, people thought you were attractive at that moment looking concerned for Joe as he lay on the ground withering in pain.
"You just had to bring that up." You said shaking your head with a smile.
Joe's chuckle erupts throughout the car. " I'm just saying I'm not the only one here whose dms looks like a thirst fest."
A laugh left your lips and he felt his heart swell. Even your laugh was beautiful. It was light and laced with amusement.
"You were right too you know." He looks over at you in confusion causing you to elaborate more. "Things didn't turn out the way I wanted."
"Like I said, don't sweat it. They will soon enough."
You and Joe continued joking, laughing, recalling nostalgic memories for the rest of the ride until you eventually arrived at a modern style lodge cabin. It wasn't over the top luxurious or anything but you can tell that it's sleek and spacious while still having a cozy atmosphere. With the car parked, you immediately got out and stretched while Joe circles around the car to retrieve the bags out the trunk.
"This looks peaceful." You comment looking at the cabin. The mellow glow of the evening sunset made it look extra harmonious.
"And isolated," Joe adds with a sigh.
"Sounds like you got a problem with that." You began to head for the walkway up to the cabin.
"I do." He says walking alongside you toward the entrance of the lodge each hand carrying his and your travel bag. "Easier for us to get killed. Next time I'm picking where we go, not my mom."
"I'll be sure to tell her that." You said in a sly tone.
"Don't you dare." He warned cutting his eye over to you.
Before you could say anything else the front door opens abruptly revealing Joe's mom in all her glory. A smile on her face when she spots you two climbing up stairs of the porch.
"Finally you both are here, I was afraid you guys got lost or something." She said ushering you both in.
Upon entering you were met with a bright and open generous space, with high ceiling and cedar wood construction walls. The entrance of the cabin is connected to the kitchen which is sleek and spacious. It also smelt of Joe's mom infamous meatloaf that has your stomach rumbling. From where you were standing you could into the grand living space that features a dramatic stone fire place and floor-to-ceiling windows. Next door is a formal dining area with the view of the back patio. If you had the option to live here you would gladly take it.
"We almost did. Since someone wanted to tell me about a shortcut they seen on Google maps." Joe not so subtly cut his eye over to you.
"You took that wrong turn,not me." You shot back remembering the moment of frustration when he misheard the direction he was given.
"And let's not forget we wouldn't be standing here at all because someone wanted to daydream behind the wheel." You added.
"What?!" His mom turn her head in direction.
"It was nothing I had it under control." Joe said sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.
"Jesus, you know what next time we are all going in one vehicle."
"Speaking of next time, he said that you-"
"Ahem!" Out of nowhere Joe started to fake cough uncontrollably.
"You okay honey?"
"Yeah m'fine." He said clearing his throat. You wheeze out a chuckle that didn't go unnoticed by Joe who squints his eyes in your direction when his mom turned her back.
"Well anyway, your father and brothers went out to grab firewood for the firepit tonight. I'll show you both your room so you guys can get settled in." She says walking out the kitchen.
You didn't miss the way she said "room" instead of rooms and apparently Joe didn't either,
"We're sharing a room?"
"Yeah, when I initially thought y/n wasn't going I ended up booking a cabin that fit all of us."
You hated the way your stomach flutter with excitement and nervousness. Sharing a room with Joe was frequent when you were younger was easier and less nervous now as you are a full grown adult with feelings It feels like a dream and nightmare at the same time.
His mom lead you both to the other side of the house , passing the spiral stairs you thought you were going in the direction of. Instead she stops at the only bedroom located in the back of the house on the first level.
"Okay here we are!" She exclaims opening the door revealing a spacious rustic bedroom with wooden ceiling and walls, two large floor-to-ceiling windows faced the direction of the lake. You would've admired it more if the only bed in the room didn't capture your attention.
A faint ding of a timer goes off in a distance.
"That must be my dinner rolls. Get settled in you two!" A smile was thrown your way before she rushes out the room her kitten heeled sandals clicks loudly against the hardwood floor.
There was a pregnant pause as Joe silently walks over to the cushion storage bench to set your bags down. You examine more of the room, specifically to busy yourself from acknowledging the big fat elephant. For the life of you it felt like you couldn't tame your racing heart, sharing a bed with Joe was the last thing you needed in order to get rid of your feelings for him. There's no way you'll be able to get through the night.
"Looks like we got our own bathroom." Joe spoke, snapping you away from your racing thoughts.
You turned in his direction to see him walking inside the adjacent bathroom. Oddly enough you notice he didn't mention anything about the single bed. Clearly it wasn't a big deal for him and it should put you at ease however it raised even more questions. Is he expecting you to protest? Look for another place to sleep?
"Really? That's cool." You said trying to appear nonchalant as possible.
When he steps out the bathroom you see him look at the bed with a grimace. "Nope, absolutely not."
You felt like your heart fell down to your stomach in despair. It was because of you isn't it? Of course he doesn't want to share a bed with you he probably feels weird.
"What is it?" You asked in a quiet tone, pretending to take interest in the outside world.
He clearly sees you has someone who he didn't want to be that close and intimate with.
"It has too many pillows."
Oh.
You looked over and he was right; the king size bed were mostly filled with different sizes of pillows. Before you knew it he began to toss some of them at the foot of the bed.
"Is that necessary?"You asked standing near the opposite side of the bed.
"There going to end up on the floor anyway seeing that m' gonna be dealing with a wild sleeper tonight." He said with a teasing smile.
"I am not a wild sleeper." You said in denial.
"Sure," He sarcastically rolling his eyes.
"Well, you snore so I'll be dealing with that."
"What? No I don't."
"Do, too. You snore like your dad whenever he nods off in his comfy chair." You laughed.
He slowly licks his lips before pressing them together as an attempt to hide his smile and keep a straight face.
"Take that back right now."
"Nope. You sound exactly like this—" You said before mimicking the obnoxious loud sounds you once heard coming from him.
Seemingly out of nowhere he makes his way around the bed launching for you, quick. A shriek left you as he got a hold on you his hands latches their way to your sides fingers wiggling alongside your ribcage. Immediately bubbly laughter left you as you tried to get away not prepared the way his fingers danced around your weak spots.
"Joey! Stop!" You laughed as you fall laying on your back on the bed.
"Take it back." He playfully scolded. His hand moves down towards your stomach the place where he knows you're the most sensitive.
"Noho!"
"You know I haven't given these to you for awhile so you've asked for it now." He chuckles as you try to capture and stop his hands.
"W-wait, hold on!" You yell out rolling on to your sides as you try to move away. The fact that you could very well be revealing everything that underneath your dress wasn't a factor in that moment.
All you could think about the sensations you were experiencing and Joe's laugh in the air mixed with yours.
He began to tickle all over your neck and collarbone, your hands struggled to capture him in order to stop his movements. Soon you broke out in silent laughter. Tears forming at the corner of your eyes at the intensity of his tickles.
"S-s-stop it Joey!" You said in between giggles.
"Or what?" He taunts, pausing his movements.
"You really don't want to know." Your voice was giggly and non-threatening whatsoever.
"Oh yeah?" He said before his hands went back to work.
Your reaction is immediate, a shriek of laughter fell from your lips, legs flailing up causing your dress to rise more likely flashing Joe but you didn't care as you tried to pry his fingers away.
"Oh,my god. I can't breathe" You said.
He laughed. "Yes you can. Just say sorry and I'll stop."
"Wait,stop, joey."
"That's not sorry." He said.
"Okay! I'm sorry!" You gave in, just as his hand went to your thigh to continue the torture. Tiny droplets of tears rolled down your cheeks, which were weakly wiped away as you were still on the high of laughter.
As he hovers over you on the bed, his hands stop. While catching your breath, you realized the position you were in. Joe was on top of you with one leg caged in between yours, his small diamond chain dangling in front of your face. Relax, calm yourself. Even though you were telling yourself to refocus, that was easier said than done. Because as soon as your eyes met his, the same look he had given you at your condo appears yet again. The same covetous gaze you tried to justify.
He's staring at you like he wants you. Does he want me? You wondered full of hope.
Your heart will stop when he says what he says next.
"You have the most beautiful smile."
You've been complimented before by Joe. However, it has never been done with so much passion and desire. It was shocking and exciting. Especially from someone you never would've thought would speak to you that way. That someone who is your best friend.
But a friend just wouldn't look at you in the way he is now.
"Um, uh, thanks." You stammered out.
He smiles sheepishly. " Hope m' not making you feel weird."
With his large frame leering over you with his arms propping himself up on either side of your head along with that look. Feeling weird wouldn't even be on the list of the thing you're experiencing right now.
"You're fine." You said getting warm.
He opens his mouth to say something but the sound of loud voices could be heard down the hall. The sound of his dad and brothers voices.
Immediately he gets up as you follow suit adjusting your dress which had risen up quite high.
"I'm gonna go see if they need help with the firewood." He said before abruptly leaving the room quite flustered himself and was looking everywhere but you.
As the day progressed, you and Joe were in a state of awkwardness and uncertainty. As a result, you had allowed yourself to ignore the obvious tension and converse with his family throughout dinner. You couldn't help but glance at Joe, who was already staring at you before quickly averting his gaze elsewhere. However awkward it may have been for you, you can't now deny that he was at least attracted to you.
It had your head spinning and heart skipping. Yet you couldn't help but to feel confused as to why. Was it the dress? Or did he got caught up in the moment? The questions were embedded within your mind later on in the evening when you found yourself sitting around the fire, everyone was stuffed from dinner and delicious pumpkin pie all except Joe who is on his second serving of the dessert. Voices and laughter overbearing the crackling of the fire as you sat silent enjoying the nature and atmosphere around you.
You were brought out your thoughts by soft weight being layed upon your exposed shoulders.
"Hey, cover up with this ,honey it looks like your freezing." You turn your head to Joe's mom wrapping a chunky knit blanket around you.
"Thank you." You said in relief, she was right with the temperature drastically dropping down your thin dress was fruitless against the night weather. "Whatcha got there?"
"A guide of all the things we can go to and do tomorrow" She said taking a seat next to you in the empty camp chair a small pamphlet in her hand. "There's a winery and flower farm I think would be great to visit."
"That seems fun." You would actually agree to go anywhere, it hasn't even been an entire day yet you could feel yourself catching cabin fever already.
"Oh! I meant to ask if you were comfortable with the room situation? If you're not I can always make one of these goofballs room with each other." She gesture towards Joe and his brother who were joking around with each other.
"I don't mind it." You said and immediately cringing at how fast you answered.
"Good, maybe this be will your opportunity to confess your feelings to him ." She blurted out.
Your head whipped in her direction so quick you were surprised it didn't snap. "W-what?"
" The looks were giving at him during dinner alone gives it away, honey."
You wanted to be mendacious and deny. Though it would be pointless as one, you wouldn't come across as believable and two, she wouldn't buy it either way. To be cautious you took a glance in Joe's direction he was still engrossed in his conversation with his brother, it brought you a huge relief he didn't hear anything that was said. You would've probably died from embarrassment.
"It's that obvious huh?" You said with chuckle.
"He feels the same way to you know." She says casually. "You guys just needs to stop dancing around before it hurts you both."
"I don't want to risk ruining our friendship." You muttered, staring ahead at the fire. You knew your friendship is valued and didn't want it to end because you misinterpreted things with Joe.
"He is very attached to you, so I don't think that will happen."
Before you could utter another word a droplet falls from the sky and lands on your cheek followed by another. Soon came the sound of pounding thunder in a distance. Everyone immediately got up from their seats and began to scramble inside. Once you were away from the rain it seem everyone went their separate ways to call it a night.
After saying goodnight to Joe's parents you and him both proceeded to head towards your shared room. The room you'd been given that has one bed. There wasn't a single word uttered once you entered the room and has you walked over to your bag to fish out your pajamas which is a oversized looney tunez t-shirt gifted by the man himself and a pair of pajamas pants....which is not packed. Your eyes widened, the pajamas pants you were sure you packed weren't there.
You searched frantically in the bag hoping you may have overlooked but came up empty handed, except your underwear and t-shirt. God this is going to be awkward.
"What's wrong?" Joe asked taking off his shoes as a distressed sigh leaves your lips.
"Nothing I just forgot something." You mumbled out quickly going inside the bathroom to do your nightly routine.
Another deep sigh left you when you shut the door behind you and turned on the lights. The bathroom is fairly spacious with an elegant rustic style that goes along with the rest of the cabin. Typical personal care products and essentials are splayed throughout. When you got finished admiring you walked toward the huge walk-in shower. You knew the water controls would cause you a headache just by looking at it. And it did after several attempts of learning you finally got to your right temperature and soon as you stepped in before shutting the glass door the heated water soon soothes your tense muscles. The Steam rose to the ceiling clouding above your head, and the sweet fragrance of your body wash filled the space around you as you gently rub it against your skin.
As you got lost lathering your thoughts began to drift to the conversation you had with Joe's mom.
He feels the same way too you know
No, you in fact don't know, aside from the moment earlier you don't ever remember Joe looking at you with any interest.
It was hard to not take Joe's mom's word though. Especially since she's the person who knows him well and through. Now you started to question his real reason for disliking Malik. Was he just jealous the entire time? Just the thought made you happy and feel lightheaded.
You begin to hum to try to take your mind off the speculation and forced yourself to think of something else.
Finally, after what felt like forever, you turned the shower off and stepped onto the fluffy mat. You quickly dried off and lather your body before slipping on your underwear and t-shirt. Sighing, you glanced in the massive rectangular mirror, mentally wincing at how the shirt came down to your mid-thigh. Fingers brush over the tiny stretch marks that are splayed on the side of your thighs. Deep down, you knew nothing was wrong with them and that it was natural and inevitable. But you couldn't help to think about Joe's reaction to them. Would he find it strange?
You shook your head mentally scolding, hating yourself for getting sprung over what a man thinks of your body. No matter who it is, you were raised better than that.
When you emerged from the bathroom along with steam. You find Joe sitting down on the end-of-a-bed bench with a full bowl of popcorn and a remote in his hand as he stares at the TV. He turns his head in your direction when he sees you walk past him swiftly to put your discarded clothes away.
"What's all this?" You asked after zipping your bag, gesturing toward the bowl.
"Isn't it obvious? I owe you a movie night." He says quite proudly.
"Hm , I thought it was stupid?" You said tugging down the shirt as you walk over to the bed.
"What I said was stupid" He shakes his head. "I'm doing this as a part of making it up to you."
There goes that look again....
"So what do you have in mind?" You climb on the bed careful not to flash your underwear and layed by the end of the bed flat on your stomach.
"I was thinking you pick while I'm in the shower?" He holds out the remote for you to take which you gladly did.
"Don't mind if I do." You muttered, immediately going to horror. It was the perfect setting a horror movie night anyway, deserted cabin, heavy rain and thunder.
"No horror movies!" He adds standing up and getting ready to head into the shower.
"Scaredy cat." You called out right as the bathroom door shuts behind him.
Thirty minutes later, Joe returns from the steamy bathroom with just sweatpants and a towel drying his wet hair. In the same position, he spots you laughing at your phone most likely at a tiktok video . Your eyes caught his gaze and you sit upright turning off your phone. He gulps suddenly becoming nervous, it's been awhile since you've shared a room and the first time to actually share a bed together. For the longest he's dreamt of this. The love he has for you is too strong to ignore the situation and act like everything is fine.
"Superbad or The Hangover?" You asked keeping your eyes on him as he got situated on the bed next to you.
He ponders for a second before saying. "Um, Superbad, haven't seen that one in awhile."
The wind continues to howl as the rain pours down harshly outside when you press play. He pretends not to notice the brush of your elbow, despite being in a fairly large bed you two were in close proximity both sitting up with your backs on the headboard. In his peripheral vision, he secretly stares at your side profile looking for any sign of discomfort about the fact your lying in the same bed. Instead he sees you focused on the TV laughing without a care in the world. Your relaxed state automatically makes him feel the same way. No big deal. It's just like sleeping by himself, and he's willing to pretend he's alone. Yet how can that be possible when he is in fact not alone and is joined by you—the person he's head over heels for in just a t-shirt? No doubt it will be a challenge.
"That was you in high school." You nudged him before pointing towards the screen which splayed Michael Cera's character Evan awkwardly talking to Becca.
He scrunches his nose. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that."
"Am I wrong though? Remember Emily Robinson from study hall?" You questioned with a teasing smile adorned on your face. "She pretty much threw herself you at every given chance and you were totally oblivious. "
"The opposite is true, I wasn't oblivious." He said with honesty.
Confusion filled your eyes as you furrowed your eyebrows. "What? You're lying!"
"I promise you I'm not." He chuckles throwing his hands up in defense. " I knew she liked me, I just didn't know how to tell her off."
As you shake your head, you exclaim, "Oh, that's so hard to believe."
"And why's that?"
"That's the case with virtually every girl who shows interest in you."
He shrugs. "Or who knows maybe it's because I'm always looking at someone else."
"That's a possibility." You said in a quiet tone completely unaware how he looked at you while saying that.
The irony of teasing him about his obliviousness and failing to see how deeply in love he is with you is quite funny. Outside eyes are already taking notice of what is happening. Why couldn't you? She's waiting for you to make the first move his mother would say and he prays to god she's right.
For the rest of the night you spent watching a couple more films as the storm outside turns into light drops of rain. It was 2am when you both decided to finally call it a night, after flickering off the TV you cautiously tucked yourself underneath the covers Joe is currently under. There's a generous amount of space between you as you faced away from each other, tension arises as the only sound in the room is the plattering of the rain.
By a slight whisper you wished him a goodnight.
As your body rolls over yet again for the millionth time, you let out a frustrated sigh. Sleep seemed so close yet so far away. You've tried practically every method from counting sheep over the fence to creating fake scenarios, all of which include the man sleeping next to you. And still nothing . This type of restless night drives you crazy, sleeping in an unfamiliar setting causes this and because you can't help but to still process you're sleeping in the same bed as Joe, so your mind couldn't help but wonder.
You kicked majority of the blankets off your body hoping that some coolness would ease your mind into exhaustion. Again, nothing. Feeling completely hopeless you sat up, eyes looking around as if you could make out anything in the pitch darkness the only thing that's visible is the alarm clock on the nightstand that reads 3:30am.
Movement beside you caught your attention as Joe rolls over on his stomach. You couldn't distinguish which direction his head was turned as you laid back down as an idea came to you.
It's worth a shot, hopefully he'll take pity on you.
"Joey?" You whispered.
No response of course, you said it so low you practically mouthed it. You were still debating on whether you should wake him up or not. It's selfish and quite frankly inconsiderate you know this. Especially since you're ruining someone else's good night sleep for you own gain. But you're desperate and can't go to sleep so you call out his name again a bit more louder.
"Joey?" This time you reach over to softly poke at his bare shoulder. Since when did he take off his shirt?
"Yeah?" He responds , in a voice that sounds nothing like he'd just been woken up.
"Are you awake?" You ask , dumb question. Of course he's awake, sounds like he's been up this entire time.
A slight chuckle comes from him. "No, I'm asleep."
"How long have you been up?" You mumbled.
"Since you start fidgeting"
So about an hour. Damn.
"Sorry , I can't go to sleep." You said sheepishly.
Suddenly, there is silence and you believe he has fallen asleep until you feel him shift closer to you. Your back is facing him, and you are so glad it was because you got flustered instantly. He lifted the blankets up and said softly. "C'mere"
Well fuck, there's no way you're going to be getting any sleep tonight.
Without saying a word you shift under his arms, his bare chest pressed against your back as you got situated. A sigh of content escapes you as Joe practically engulfs you in his embrace. He feels so warm,big,and strong. His arm pulls you in tighter which you had no problem with. This is definitely not what best friends do.
What is this?
"Are you comfortable?" He asked you could feel his lip on the shell of your ear and the urge to turn around to lock lips is strong.
Swallowing thickly you nod your head. "I am, didn't think you're the cuddle type Joey."
"M'not but I know you are." He says.
That's true. Almost everyone knows you're a fan of cuddles, so much in fact you sleep with a body pillow at home.
"Well, thank you." You said in a way to be grateful as you trace over the multiple prominent veins on his hand in front of you. You wished to see the size comparsion to your hand and his but you could feel it. So big just like the entirety of him.
You weren't blind you'd seen how Joe has grown into his muscular frame since the Superbowl, the countless workouts really pays off as his arms and chest became more defined. Which you are more than lucky enough to be currently cradled in. Reality hits hard at the situation. Joe is cuddling you right now, full on koala hugging you from behind. You always wondered was it'll be like to be smothered in his arms, close to his body, you never thought you'd see the day.
During your enjoyment of mindlessly playing with his hand, you can feel his heart beating against your back. As if he were nervous or scared. As you furrow your eyebrows, you open your mouth to ask him what's wrong when he grabs your hand and laces it with his.
"I need to tell you something." He says quietly, gripping your hand with firmness.
You tilted your head in his direction with concern. "Everything okay?"
"Not really." He chuckles slightly but it was far from sounding amusing, it was more of a nervy laugh. "You know, I care about you alot. We've been friends since forever and what I'm about to say could possibly ruin that."
"What are you—?"
"I lied earlier," He interrupts causing you to frown.
Lied about what?
"In the car, I told you I was being distant because I didn't want Malik to break your heart." He swallowed heavily, before continuing, "That wasn't entirely true. I just didn't like seeing you with him...or with anybody else."
Time seemed to have slowed down and the air became thicker. Your heartbeat increased, and your stomach twists immediately. However with all those things happening it didn't stop you from uttering out a blatant "W-what?"
It's hard for you to comprehend that he's basically confessing his feelings for you. So long you've hoped and dreamt about this exact moment.
"I want you to be mine and I don't want you to be with anyone else." He sits up leaning on his elbow his other arm is still wrapped around your waist and fingers still laced with yours. "I hate to sound cheesy like those cliché rom coms you make me watch—" He laughs before continuing. "But I'm really in love with you, it's to the point where I can't stop thinking about you."
Happiness bloomed inside you and you felt a sudden flare of relief. Joe—the man you've been in love with—just confessed his feelings. Your heart has been daring to hope that he feels the same way for a while, even though you've convinced yourself that it's not possible.
Holy shit.
"You really love me?" You said gripping his hand tightly.
He leaned down to rest his chin on your shoulder. "I do, so much."
"I love you too," You smiled when you heard him a sigh of relief. Your hand slips from his as you reach up to caress his jawline. "I have for a long time actually. Took you long enough."
You feel him smile and lean against your hand. Just when you thought everything couldn't possibly get better, he opens his mouth and asks a question you've been waiting for so long.
"Is it okay if I kiss you?"
The excitement unfolded like a flower as you nodded your head. And before you know it his mouth is on yours. He's passionate and fierce as if he'd been stranded in a desert in need of a drink and you were that cold glass of water he found and drank so desperately. His tongue traces over your bottom lip before slipping into your mouth wasting no time exploring every inch. You moan as his tongue intensifies swirling against yours , while doing so his hand grips your waist holding you against him.
That's when you feel it. The hardness prodding on your lower back, you could feel it through the thin fabric of your t-shirt which had risen dangerously high.
Pulling away, he kisses you from your jaw to your neck, gently sucking while you gasp, wrapping an arm around his neck as you enjoy the feel of his lips. Under the thick blanket, his hips are pressed against yours, keeping you in a state of shock. He felt massive and thick. And you want more of it.
"I want to touch you." His words are muffled due to his never ending kisses on your neck. "Can I touch you? Hm?"
"Yes, please do." As soon as you gave him the go he takes his hand from your waist and travels down to your expose thigh gently massaging it cherishing how soft you feel. You sigh in contentment, eyes fluttering shut when his hand goes underneath your shirt and go upwards to cup your left breast.
Taking you completely by surprise he rubs your breast before trailing back down to the hem of your underwear where he slips fingers inside. You let out a whimper when his fingertips glides over the area you wanted him the most. His body tense when he felt your arousal that was practically soaking his hand. Tiny moans escape your lips as he circles your sensitive clit, your hips immediately start to squirm.
"Keep still." He groans, his forehead dropping down to rest on the back of your shoulder. You weren't aware that the more you squirm the arch in your back goes deeper, essentially grinding your ass against his hardness.
"I can't, not when you're touching me like this." You murmur hand clutching his forearm where you could feel the muscles flexing with every strum that his fingers makes.
"Fuck!"He grunts breathlessly as your hips continues to move. There's no way he going to cum like this as much as you're making him feel absolutely good he was ready to explode at any given moment by the movement of your hips.
He takes his hand out of your underwear much to your dismay letting out a sound of disappointment he quickly repays you with a kiss on the lips before sitting up yanking the covers off the both of you tossing it to the side.
"Roll over on your back for me." He commanded.
You follow his order, finally coming face to face even though you're in almost complete darkness the outline of his body and features were visible to you. The diamonds from his chain certainly stood out as well. He grabs both of your legs and spread the wide getting situated between them.
"Lift up your shirt all the way." He said quietly, almost at a whisper.
You could feel your soul take flight as an unsuspected feeling of realization consumed you. This isn't a dream, Joe is really here in between your thighs ready to fuck you in the most delicious way possible. No amount of words could explain how happy and eager you feel.
When you finished taking off your shirt he wasted no time bending down attaching his lips on your tits, the coldness of his chain grazes your warm skin causing you to shiver. His tongue flicks and licks around the hardness of your nipple before he gently sucks.
"Hmmm Joey." You moan grasping the back of his head, not knowing what felt more good his tongue or the fact his cock is being pressed against your aching pussy.
Another moan escapes from you when he strokes his hips against you rubbing right on your clit and causing you to be blinded by pleasure. His hair tickles your chin when he switches over to your other breast giving it the same attention. It took everything in you to keep your moans at a lower level, still mindful of the fact you're doing this under the same roof as his family. The last thing you wanted is for one of them to come down and interrupted your intimate session. God , you would never show your face again.
Joe detaches his lips with an audible 'pop' leaving your skin glazed and sit up on his knees while his hands grips your underwear and swiftly pulls it down. Lifting up both of your legs together he takes your panties off completely. Now you're on full display, laying there letting him venerate every inch of your body. For some reason you didn't have the urge to shy away or cover up like you did with past lovers ,no, you are ready for him to see and cherish you including the imperfections.
"You have the softest skin. So beautiful." He mumbled lowering his head to kiss by your hips trailing down to your inner thighs peppering extra kisses on your beauty marks. Joe lifts his head up for a moment grabbing a spare pillow handing it over to you. "You might wanna hold on to that, m'not gonna be able to contain myself."
Without giving it a second thought you wrap both arms around the pillow when he hitches both your legs over his shoulder. His mouth is on you in seconds, low groans leaves his lips as he engulfs his tongue over your folds and run it on your clit where he sucks and massages.
"Oh, my god!" Your words muffle due to your mouth on the pillow. And your hips tries to come up from the bed but they don't have the chance because Joe's hand immediately reaches out to slam you back down.
He takes your legs off his shoulders and held them down each flat on the bed, spreaded wide, his hand on holding down your thighs firmly. The intrusion of his tongue slipping inside you takes you by surprise, a loud raw moan wanted to desperately get out but all you could muster up is a whimper. Eyes closing shut, your legs started to shake at the intense pleasure.
Messy smacking and slurping noise could be heard underneath your heavy breathing, the way he's eating you is borderline sensual yet unhinged. He left no parts untouched, you could feel wetness pool beneath you. Which turns you on even more.
A familiar heat is burning inside at the pit of your stomach and you knew that it'll only be a matter of time you gush out your release.
"M' gonna cum." You sob out in a whisper, twisting your upper body to the side slightly.
Joe pulls away yet again and you swore you were seconds away from reaching down to finish yourself off. However when Joe releases his hold on you and reaches down to take off his sweatpants that idea is immediately gone.
He carries a throbbing cock beneath the thin happy trail; it slaps against the lower abdomen where a prominent vein runs from his tip to his thick shift. There is no way you could deny that you are a little intimidated; the sheer size of him had you gulping.
He settles back in between your thighs, this time lifting your left leg on his shoulder. That's when he notices it, the diamond peice anklet, a smile adorns his face when he pressed a kiss on your ankle. His eyes focuses back on you drinking in your needy state, the pillow he gave you is clenched in your grip with anticipation.
Not wanting for you to wait any longer, he spits loudly into his palm before wrapping around his hand around his length, slick noise of the sound of him jerking could be heard.
Gripping your left leg as your right curls around his waist, he aligned his tip to meet your seeping wet entrance you shuddered feeling a slightly burn from being stretched out.
"It's okay, take a deep breath for me, you gotta relax" He assures you noticing the way your muscles tensed. The last thing he want is for you to be uncomfortable.
You force your eyes to be transfixed on the digital clock on the nightstand as you focus on taking deep breaths for a few seconds. Once it became tolerable and no longer confining he involuntary pushes his hips forward going deeper. As soon as he did that you tighten around him. His face contorts into an expression of pleasure, pressure on your thigh is coming from his hand that grips it tightly. You can tell he was holding himself back from fully pounding into you relentlessly.
His thrusts are slow and impactful. Moans after moans continues to leave your lips.
"Faster Joey, I want you to go faster." You said mindlessly body jerking up at every stroke of his hips.
"You sure?" He asks.
You nodded before he presses his lips together and took hold of your waist when he slams into hard and fast. Your left leg is still on his shoulder when he leans down to lock his lips with yours silencing your moans. The pillow you were gripping is tossed to the side as you find stability in clutching on to Joe's biceps, digging your nails into his skin.
"Fuck Joey!" You cried out as his tip kept hitting your sweet spot. Faint sounds of skin smacking filled the air along with the sound of your wetness. "O-oh my g-god, you feel so good!"
"You like that baby?" He asked, his chain is brushing against your chin with every stroke.
"Mmhmm, I love you so much." Eyes rolling to the back of your head at the constant pleasure, he fucks you even harder thrust filled with passion. You were on the brink of letting out a scream of pleasure, stopping you from doing so you leaned and sink your teeth into his shoulder.
You can feel your stomach tighten when you felt a strong deep pleasure within. A surge ready to be released.
"Cum for me, just let go." He reaches his hand down and plays with your clit. You let out a mixture of a whimper and sob, your back arching, legs still, eyes fluttering, and jaw slack. The feeling you're experiencing felt otherworldly, it has you in disbelief. He fucks you through it nicely with slowed thrusts before pulling out, your left leg slips off his shoulder and lies limp.
"Oh my god." You breathed out placing a hand on your temple as you try to find your train of thought. He quite literally fucked you stupid.
"You still with me?" The corner of his mouth curls up into a smile. A hum in response is all he got. Once you have officially recovered, he orders you to lie on your side. Confused, you turn to the right facing the direction you were in earlier. As Joe kneels in between your legs, he straddles your right thigh and lifts your left leg to curl around his left hip. Almost before you can process the position, he enters you and starts to devour you.
Your tits bounces rapidly at his merciless hips slam into you over and over again. It wasn't long before they're being groped by Joe who pants heavily above you, a low moan coming from him occasionally.
He hovers over your quivering body with a bruising grip on your hips. His pace is sharp, quick, and so deep you felt dizzy with never ending pleasure as your sensitive body takes in everything that he's giving to you.
"J—mhgh" You couldn't fathom any coherent words as you began to feel overstimulated. This position he has you in makes you feel like you're being fucked beyond your limits.
Joe notices your hands blindly searching for anything to cling to and releases your breasts from his hold. His hands completely engulfs yours as he laces them back together place them on either side of your head.
A couple more thrusts followed and you've approached your second orgasm. Way more intense than the first , so intense you've made a mess on Joe's lower stomach matting down his happy trail and coating the both of you with your essence.
"Shit," He grunts out feeling the aftermath of your orgasm, pace becoming sloppy as he's rapidly approaching his release. He pulls out abruptly ready to fist his soaking cock when you stopped him.
"I wanna do it." You said sitting up he was still straddling your leg as you reach down to stroke him.
"Fuck fuck fuck" He chants, head leaning forward to rest against your shoulder. He moans your name as his release hits, lips connecting with yours when he's spilling multiple spurts on your hand and even on your chest.
With a sigh you both shared a lazy kiss before plopping down next to each other. There is a moment of contentment instilled in your heart during this time, and you remain there for a moment. Enjoying the presence of the man who just took you into a different realm. It wasn't long before the moisture and stickiness on your skin became a discomfort.
Taking a deep breath you slowly eased out of bed. When your feet planted on the floor your legs buckles slightly.
You hear Joe chuckle in amusement. "Take it easy, huh? Where you going?"
"Shut up, I'm headed to the shower." You blushed holding on to the bed post.
He stands up and walks over to you with a glint in his eye. "I take it you got room for one more?"
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@luvjoe9 @idyllicbarb @lonelywiththestars @balanceingrace @maricciardo @joeburreauxsworld @tigertales9 @clumsyjoeb @certifiedlesbianbaddie @cherry2stems
If you want to be apart of the taglist dm me babes!
#joe burrow#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow fanfic#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow fanfiction#joe burrow x black reader
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Un-Actions, or Restriction of Activities
This is my first post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps!
There’s a good handful of ways you can help increase biodiversity in your yard that don’t require buying things--in fact, these may actually help you save money in the long run! They may seem small and simple, but every bit counts! Whether you can do these in totality, or just limit how often you do these actions, it’ll make a difference.
Not Mowing, or Mowing Less Often
Turf grass lawns are considered a monoculture, meaning they don’t provide much opportunity for insects to find habitat--so few other creatures find them enjoyable either. An expanse of turf grass is, in many ways, a barren wasteland in the eyes of wildlife--too exposed to cross, with few to no opportunities for food or shelter, leaving them exposed to blazing hot sun, freezing cold, or any predators that may be lurking nearby. A place to be avoided. The simple act of letting your grass grow unbothered gives a chance for wildflowers to grow, and for your grass to grow taller--providing more habitat for insects, which then provides more habitat to birds and other creatures that feed on said insects. Wildlife want nothing more than to skirt by unnoticed, so even leaving the grass tall along the edges of a fence or yard can help a little. Even restricting mowing to every other week, or at a higher blade setting, can be a huge help. If HOAs or city ordinances are fussy about lawn length in the front yard, you can likely still keep grass higher in the backyard. Or, you can create a ‘feature’ where grass is allowed to grow long in a specific area. If it looks purposeful, people are more likely to accept it. Not mowing under trees or close to shrubs not only leaves space for wildflowers to grow, but also means you don’t have to deal with mowing over bumpy roots and other difficulties. Cutting different areas at different times can be an option for letting grass grow long in some areas while still having available places for play and entertainment. I’ve seen some people plant flower bulbs when pulling up weeds, so in the future they'll bloom in early spring before mowing is usually necessary. This could be another fun way of adding biodiversity to a lawn without--or before you--begin mowing in spring.
Not worrying about mowing, or doing it less often, saves you in time, money, and energy. You won’t have to buy as much gasoline for your mower, and Saturday afternoons can be free to be enjoyed in other ways aside from being sticky and sweaty and covered in grass stains. In addition, you’ll likely be lowering your own carbon emissions!
If you do have to mow your lawn, I’ve got ways you can use your grass clippings to boost biodiversity later in the post series!
Not using pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, etc.
One of the next-biggest non-actions you can do asides from not mowing is using fewer fewer to no herbicides, fungicides, and pesticides in your yard. This’ll easily allow for more biodiversity. Allowing more insects and a wide array of plants to thrive will feed back into the entire food chain in your area. In addition, these types of chemicals have been tied to algae blooms, death of beneficial insects, harm to birds, fish, and even humans. Soil is supposed to be full of fungi, especially fungal mycelium that essentially acts as a network for plants to communicate, share nutrients, and support each other--fungicide kills that, and typically makes all other lawn problems even worse in a negative feedback loop. It may take awhile to see the benefits of avoiding these chemicals, but once you see it, it really is astounding.
However! I can’t lie and say that there haven’t been points where I needed to use pesticides at some points in my gardening journey. In these cases, try to use products that are organic--like diatomaceous earth, neem oil, etc--and use them accurately, correctly, and sparingly. Follow instructions on how to apply them safely and responsibly--for example, on non-windy days and during times when bees and other pollinators aren’t likely to be out and about. With some pests (read: oleander aphids, in my experience), a simple jetstream of water is enough to force them off the plant where they’ll be too weak to get back. Eventually, you should have a balanced enough ecosystem that no one insect pest causes a major issue with the work you’re doing to boost biodiversity.
If you can bear to, try handling pests manually. Squishing pest bugs in your hand is a pretty foolproof way to get rid of some problems, or spraying them with a mix of soap and water can do the trick on some insects. Alternatively, picking them off your plants and into a bucket of soapy water is also a valid option. You’ve heard of baptism by fire, now get ready for… baptism by soap?
But also! Try reconsidering what you consider a pest! Tomato hornworms are hated by gardeners, for devouring the foliage of beloved tomato, pepper, and potato plants. But killing the tomato and tobacco hornworm means getting rid of sphinx moths, also known as hummingbird or hawk moths! Hawk moths are vital to the survival of many native plants, and are sometimes even the only species that pollinates them. If you can bear to, consider sacrificing a few tomato plants, or growing a few extras, so we can continue having these beautiful moths for years to come. After all, they may not even do significant damage to the plants!
With that in mind, be friendly to your natural pest managers! Lacewings, ladybugs, praying mantises, wasps, birds, bats, and more will help manage pest populations in your environment! Encourage them by planting things they like, providing habitat, and leaving them be to do their work! Avoiding pesticides helps make your garden a livable environment for them, too!
Letting Weeds Grow
Many of the plants we know as 'weeds' are actually secondary succession species and native wildflowers. Milkweed was regarded as a noxious, annoying weed for a long time, and now people are actively trying to plant them after learning about the important role they play in our environments! Weeds are adapted to take over areas that have been cleared out of other plants after a disaster, so they're doing much of the initial work in making a habitat for other creatures. In fact, many of them will simply die back as the environment repairs itself.
An important thing to note is to please make sure that your ‘weeds’ are not invasive species. Work on learning how to identify native and invasive species in your area, and pull out what’s harmful to leave room for what’s good!
Don’t Rake (Or At Least Don’t Bag Your Leaves)
Many insects overwinter in piles of leaves that we often rake away and bag up in the fall and winter. By doing this, we are actively throwing away the biodiversity of our neighborhoods! If you can, leave the leaves where they fall!
If you do need to rake, put the leaves in places wildlife can still access it instead of bagging it up. Move your leaves into garden beds to serve as mulch, or along the edge of fences to rest while keeping egg cases and hiding bugs intact and free to release come spring.
Leave Snags Where They Are
Snags are dead trees/dead branches on living trees. They provide an important wildlife habitat--many birds nest in them, or use them to seek cover from rain, and many insects will also live in snags (making them an additional food source for birds and other creatures). Tree cavities are used as nests by hundreds of bird species in the US, and many mammals use them as well, such as bats, squirrels, raccoons, and sometimes even bears. Some trees form cavities while they’re still alive, but in conifers they’re more likely to form after death. Crevices between the trunk of a dead tree and its peeling bark provide sun protection for bats and amphibians, and leafless branches make great perching areas for birds of prey to hunt from above. The decaying wood is home to insects and fungi, who then feed birds, mammals, amphibians, and reptiles. Do check on the snags regularly to ensure they don’t serve a threat to any nearby structures, but whenever possible, leave them be!
Keep Your Cat Inside
If you have an outdoor cat, consider making the adjustments to have it be an indoor cat. If you have an indoor cat, keep it as an indoor cat. Free ranging cats impact biodiversity through predation, fear effects, competition for resources, disease, and more. Keeping little Mittens inside does a lot more to help than it may seem from the outside.
That’s the end of this post! My next one’s gonna be on things you can add to your space that aren’t directly related to growing plants. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!
#biodiversity#solarpunk#gardening#outdoor gardening#lawn culture#anti lawn culture#environmental stewardship#(i think that counts)#ani rambles#out of queue#the biodiversity saga#I know I said this in the masterpost already but another reminder some people aren't in a position to do all or some or even any of this#i have so far been unsuccessful in convincing my parents to not mow or rake because we live in an HOA neighborhood#but do what you can/are able to! it'll help!
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You Belong To Me // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader
Summary: These girls knew you were dating Steve and Bucky, so why is it that they thought it was ok to have their hands all over them?
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, threesome, smut/angst/fluff, Dom/Sub, role reversal, possessive sex, jealousy, threats of violence, size difference, car sex, rough sex, riding, multiple orgasms, cum shots, creampies, breeding kink (kinda), handjobs, oral (m and f receiving), body worship, praise kink, marking, begging
Words: 8.9k
my masterlist 📚
AO3 Link
“A strong woman may remain silent when people talk behind her back. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t notice. It simply means she chooses not to waste her energy on foolishness. She has more important things to do”. ~ A quote by someone much stronger than you that was for damn sure.
Anger was an emotion that you didn’t experience often and why would you? You were in a happy and safe relationship with two of the most powerful men in Brooklyn, the biggest inconvenience in your life was whether you had pasta or potato for dinner.
Today however, you felt an unstoppable rage that curled in the pit of your stomach, your blood pumping violently through your veins as it felt like you hadn’t blinked in over 10 minutes, jaw now aching from how hard you were clenching it.
“You look like you’re about to rip someone’s head off, Boss Lady. Do I need to be worried?” Sam Wilson asks as he leans against the bar next to the stool you were currently sitting on.
You didn’t rush to reply to your bodyguard, instead lifting the glass you held firmly in your grip to your lips, sipping the alcohol that was strong enough that it burned as it passed down your throat and into the infernal rage in your stomach. Your nostrils flared as you rested your glass back into your lap, trying to take a deep breath as you watched the scene in front of you.
There were two of them. Two women that knew that Steve and Bucky were both your partners, in fact, you’d been introduced to them as Mrs Rogers-Barnes as per Steve’s request, even though you weren’t married, it was just his way of showing who you belonged to. Especially as you were in public and there was nothing more public than the party you were all attending as guests for Steve’s good friend and ally Thor.
The blonde, long-haired giant was very much a lady's man and seemed to have invited half of the female population of Brooklyn. Not that this was an issue, it was actually nice to spend some time with women as you spent so much time around dangerous men and you also felt confident with Steve and Bucky around women, they never even glanced away from you, EVER.
So this was why you had left with Sam to go and get another drink, already enjoying the alcoholic buzz in your veins and wishing for it to continue, however, this gave the perfect opportunity for these two women to flock to your boys.
It had been funny at first, seeing them being completely ignored by your two hulking boyfriends, their back turning as soon as the two girls approached. But this didn’t seem to affect their confidence, persistence and audacity to then lay hands against Bucky’s arm and Steve’s back. This was where you had reached your limit and then when they physically pushed between your boyfriends so they had to look at the girls, well now you were seeing red.
Steve and Bucky were YOURS. Even though you could see them continue to try and move away, how dare these girls, - who knew that the boys were taken - continued to flirt and talk and touch what was yours and just how far they would actually go to get the boy's attention, you didn’t want to find out.
Finishing your drink in a single swig, you placed your glass back onto the bar, slightly surprised that it didn’t smash with the force in which you placed it, before sliding down from the stool. However, a firm hand wrapped around your upper arm, halting your movements as you turned your violent gaze away from the girls and up to Sam.
“What?!”, you asked, voice dripping with poison and promises of fury. Sam’s eyes widen slightly having never heard this tone from you before and you instantly felt remorseful, muscles in your shoulders relaxing slightly, “sorry”, you apologised for your tone.
“I know you’ve got some evil mastermind plan to go over there and whack them one, but don’t do anything out of anger. I’m more than happy to shoot my way out of a situation for you but we’re in a room half filled with gang members that won’t hesitate to shoot if there’s suddenly a fight”.
You released a heavy sigh knowing he was right as you glanced back at the girls, seeing them laughing obnoxiously whilst trying to push their bodies closer to your boys who still continued to try and step away. “Fuck, I want to punch them so badly”, you huffed under your breath.
Sam chuckled deeply, having never seen you this angry before, usually in these sorts of situations you’d be completely overwhelmed, anxious and upset. Clearly, the alcohol was acting as a liquid courage, your anxieties were pushed to the back of your mind.
“Yeah, I’m sure you do”, Sam continued, feeling uncomfortable with the way the girls were acting, noticing the way Natasha was now trying to move them away as she was the boy’s bodyguard. “I’m sure that Boss and Bucky would love nothing more than to see you be their knight in shining armour but I’m just saying - be careful for me… please? Make my life a little easier”, he joked, not letting go of your arm as he tried to catch your eye.
The corner of your lip quipped up slightly, looking up at him, his kind eyes meeting yours, “And what do you suppose I do? Let them continue to touch MY boyfriends? They’re mine!”
You’d never been this verbally possessive, never having been in this mindset before.
“You can do whatever you want Sweetheart and I’ll be there to back you up, no matter what, I’m just saying to take a breathe and think about what you’re doing”.
Sam was right, he always was so you took a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth and straightened your spine. Sam seemed to believe that you’d calmed enough as he released the grip on your arm.
“You good?” he asked, resting his hands on your shoulders, giving you a little shake.
“Yeah, I’m good”, you responded.
Turning on the spot, you looked back towards Steve and Bucky who were now looking at you with a quizzical expression, eyes brightening as you finally approached where they were. However you didn’t stop directly next to them, no, you strutted straight for the girls who were a few feet away now thanks to Natasha’s perseverance but they still looked over towards your boyfriends.
You hoped you looked as deadly as you felt, a sly smirk on your lips, shoulders rolled back as you stopped in front of the two girls who were taller than you but this didn’t knock your confidence, as you spoke loud enough that your voice cut through the music, keeping it in a sickly sweet tone. “I see the way you’re looking at them”, you pointed your head in the direction of Steve and Bucky who were watching the exchange intently, Natasha to their left with a proud smirk plastered to her beautiful face and you could feel Sam close behind you still.
The girls looked up and down your body, their eyes full of judgement and disdain, one of them sucked on their teeth, tilting her head to the side, “And who are you supposed to be?”
You looked her directly into her soulless eyes, “Oh you know exactly who I’m supposed to be”. This confidence was something you’d never experienced before, gone was the timid, highly anxious girl, when it came to your boyfriends, no one would get in the way of your protection even if they didn’t necessarily need it. To be disrespected in front of you with the lack of shits given by the two girls, you weren’t going to let them get away with it.
One of the girls, who sucked her teeth stepped forward so you were only a foot away from each other, “and why the fuck would we give a shit about that?”
You didn’t back down, stepping close enough that you could smell her rancid cheap perfume, the tips of her shoes grazing yours, “Because then you’d know that they are taken. Do you both understand what the means? Get. Fucking. Lost. They are mine”.
The girls both choked on a laugh, “You don’t fucking own them, maybe they want a taste of us, I can guarantee they’d be begging for more”.
Now it was your turn to laugh at the sheer audacity of these girls. It wasn’t a dainty laugh either, no, it was one that you had to hold your belly because of the ache, drawing other people’s attention from around you. Trying to take a deep breath to gather yourself, wiping away at the corner of your eye to the tears that had gathered there, you could see that your laughing had hit a nerve as both of their girls’ jaws were tensed.
Good, you thought. It wasn’t the part about ownership that had you laughing, in fact, Steve and Bucky had made it more than clear that you had their whole heart but it was the part about begging for more. All it would take was a single look and you knew your boyfriends would be begging for more, to touch your body, to kiss your lips, to hear your moans, these girl's naivety was truly baffling.
Returned to look them both in the eyes, your orbs flicking from one face to another as you returned to your natural calm, words spoken lowly with every ounce of promise that you could muster. “If you touch or even look at either of them again, I’ll break your fucking hands. You don’t know what the fuck I’m capable of”.
Turning on the spot, officially finished with the conversation, not allowing the fear of actually threatening someone to take over and thankfully the girls didn’t shout anything back. This was a small blessing because you were one more word away from upsetting Sam and punching the one closest straight in the throat.
The two bodyguards and more important, Steve and Bucky were watching with expressions you hadn’t really witnessed before. Nat and Sam looked almost proud of you with gleaming eyes and smirks across their faces. Whereas your boyfriends, well from the obvious tents in their suit trousers, there was lust as you’d never seen before, mouths gaped open as you approached them all.
“We’re leaving”, you stated matter of factly.
“Why?”, Bucky asked, his voice soft and he looked almost like he was in a trance.
Catching his eye as you replied, “Because if they look at you like that again, I’m going to fucking kill them both”.
Not waiting for anyone’s reaction, having made the decision for them already, you reached to grab your boyfriend's hands, pulling them with ease as they stayed by your side as you all made towards the exit.
Natasha was by your side in a second to open up the doors for you all, she glanced in your direction, whistling lowly, “I like this side of you, Sugar”.
A heated flush encompassed your body at the compliment but it didn’t falter your steps as Sam now too rushed in front as you all arrived at the large SUV. Sam held open the car door for you as Natasha climbed into the driver's seat, Steve and Bucky following in close behind you and then finally Sam was in the passenger seat.
As soon as you were in the car, you were taking off your heels, needing some freedom from them. Your body was still trembling with anger and adrenaline, not even thinking of normal thoughts as you felt Steve’s warm body slide next to yours into the middle seat, followed by Bucky.
The car was only just starting when you were climbing into Steve’s lap, already having decided this when you had approached those girls, they were your boys, you needed to feel them.
“Baby”, Steve began hands on your body to help as you straddle his lap in the limited room, your leg awkwardly slotting between his thigh and Bucky’s. Any words he was planning on saying were cut off as your face smashed into his, lips moving against his in a bruising manner, almost violently.
Steve kissed you back with just as much passion, one of his vast hands cupping the back of your head and the other hand resting on your hip, helping as you ground your hips against his, the material of your thin dress riding up over your thighs with the movements. The mafia leader groaned deeply into the kiss, especially as your warm, wet tongue slipped into his mouth as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss further.
But you weren’t waiting another minute, pulling back, hand blindly reaching out to Bucky, feeling his rough facial hair beneath your fingertips and pulling him closer just for him to meet your lips as you moved your attention to him.
The car began moving but you didn’t care, or the fact that Natasha and Sam were in the car, they’d already seen the three of you fucking plenty of times before.
As Bucky’s tongue brushed against your lips, you opened yours just as eagerly as you had with Steve, groaning at the taste of him. Your hips continued to rock against Steve, who had moved his sinful mouth to your neck, his teeth nipping along the sensitive skin.
In all honesty, you were not thinking clearly, it was almost like the little devil on your shoulder had taken over your body. All that kept spiralling through your thoughts were those stupid girls’ faces as they looked at your boyfriends. THEY WERE YOURS. You needed to feel them, taste them, hear them, everything you possibly could just to soothe your inner demon, and insecurities, wanting to prove that they only wanted you.
However, as the car continued to move, Steve tried to regain some stability to the moment, his mouth removing from your jaw, “Honey, you need to put your seat belt on”.
Now it was your turn to remove yourself from your boyfriend, lips tingling as you also sucked in air greedily, looking at Steve and not missing a beat as you demanded, “Take out your cock”.
Steve also matched your speed, eyes flicking to the front of the car, “Nat, find somewhere to park right now”. Then his hands were pulling your face back to his, nose squishing against his cheek as he wrapped his two muscular arms around your body, trapping you in almost like you were his seatbelt.
Your own hand was still holding onto the side of Bucky’s head, the brunette was kissing your palm, the sensation tickling your skin and then his lips were wrapping around your thumb and sucking it into his mouth in a highly erotic move that sent heat straight to your cunt.
Pulling back from Steve momentarily and looking at Bucky, admiring the view and the way in which his usually bright blue eyes were almost black in colour with his blown-out pupils. “I want your cock out too”, you requested to Bucky.
“Yes ma’am”, he replied after releasing your thumb, swiftly undoing his belt and zipper, his hips lifting so his suit trousers and boxers could be pushed to his midthigh. His flesh hand automatically wrapped around his length moving steadily up and down to try and ease some of the tension that he was experiencing ever since he saw you stand up to his girls.
Thankfully the car pulled to a stop, Natasha and Sam didn’t waste any time before getting out of the car and you didn’t even check out of the window where they’d stop, only really realising that they’d found somewhere because Steve’s secure arms loosened around you.
This gave him the opportunity to reach for his own zipper but you needed to feel someone now and Bucky was already sitting there looking pretty and ready.
“Too slow”, you teased Steve with a huskier voice than usual as you began to climb over him to straddle Bucky’s lap, lifting your dress further around your hips, giving you the perfect opportunity to pull your underwear to the side and sinking down onto Bucky’s cock.
“Holy fucking shit”, Bucky gasped at your abrasiveness, having never seen you like this before, your pussy walls fluttering as you had to stretch and adjust to his size quickly. Luckily you were already drenched with arousal and need that helped you to slip down his length.
Bucky’s nibble fingers reached for your underwear, easily tearing the material into two and removing it from your person and discarding somewhere in the SUV. With your hands clutching the nape of his neck, fingers teasing the shaved hair as he massaged your hips, both sucking in a deep breath before you seemed to snap out of any restraint you’d been holding back.
As your mouth once again frantically found him, you began to ride him, hard and fast like it was a race to the finish line. The noises he was producing only encouraged your fucking, the vibrations from his moans, seeping into your chest from where it rubbed against his. You were both breathless but didn’t stop the kiss, almost like you were trying to prove a point, which in a way you were, just how far you could go to pleasure him.
The car was shaking with your momentum as you chased Bucky’s high, not your own, you didn’t care about cumming right now, you just wanted Bucky to feel good, needed to see him orgasm.
Feeling slightly dizzy from the lack of air, you finally pulled away, lips swollen slightly and shiny from the shared saliva, the atmosphere warm from being in a contained space, the sweat-coating body of your bodies. Your mouth wasn’t finished with its pleasuring though as you tilted his head back and hungrily kissed and nipped his neck, harder than usual, making sure to leave teeth indents and purple spots.
You were never one to mark up the boys, they always needed to remain professional looking and you did feel slightly like a loved-up teenager frantically fucking in the car but it was just one more way that you could show that he was yours.
“Tell me you’re mine”, you demanded, and his first response was to moan in such a way it was almost pornographic.
“I’m yours”, Bucky responded gruffly, hands squeezing your hips harder. It was your turn to moan, purposefully clenching your cunt around his cock tighter. “Fuck!” Bucky cursed into your ear, his grip now painful and sure to leave bruises beneath the skin but you didn’t care, it was motivating you more. “If you keep this up Doll, I’m gonna cum before we even get home”, he admitted, eyes closed in concentration.
This was like music to your ears, as you pulled back, leaning your forehead against his, your hips still frantically moving up and down. “Good, I want you to cum, right now! Please Bucky”, your voice was pleading to him as once again you squeezed your cunt around him, almost suffocating his length.
“Ah mama- fuck”, Bucky was almost delirious, unable to form a full sentence with how good he felt at that moment. Not only did he get to see you looking fucking sexy as hell standing up to those girls at the party but now you were riding his cock like a woman on a mission.
Your mind was still only on the end goal of him cumming, needing to see the pleasure in his face which was hard with the blurred motion of you riding him but as his mouth gaped open as he released a recognisable little noise that he always did just before he came, you slide of his cock and sat back on his thighs.
Both of your hands quickly wrapped around his soaked, throbbing cock, squeezing tightly and moving up and down at the same speedy space, paying particular attention to his tip, thumb stroking over the underside that was most sensitive.
Bucky looked almost feral, his entire body leaving the seat, lifting your body with it as he shouted, “FUCK! Just…right there! That feels so good!” With the momentum of both of your bodies, as he began cumming, the spurts of white globs shot up both of your bodies, coating his shirt and your dress and you didn’t stop, not until his cock finally stopped throbbing in your hands.
You were both breathing hard, particularly Bucky who looked shocked to the core, his hands releasing their grip on your hips to massage the tender area.
“I’ve never cum that quick before”, Bucky admitted, his head falling back against the headrest.
You felt almost powerful at this revelation, you had done this to him, only your body and words and caused such a reaction.
Glancing over at Steve who was lazily stroking himself, watching with half-lidded eyes, you were nowhere near done, using with an authoritative tone, “Take your clothes off”.
As Steve does as instructed, you leaned in close to Bucky, kissing his puffy lips softly, trying to have a tender moment as he whispered, “I love you”, against your lips.
“I love you too Bucky”, you replied with just as much sparkle in your eyes.
“An I am yours”, he reminded, stroking your cheek briefly as Steve finally settled next to you, now stark naked from head to toe.
Spending amount to appreciate his perfectly sculpted body, the muscles that flexed in the subtle light and the trail of hair that surrounded his red, veiny dick. Your mouth filled with saliva as you wanted nothing more than to wrap your lips around him but there would be time for that later.
With as much grace as you could muster, you climbed back over to Steve, straddling his thick thighs and a thought dawned on you. Realising that this might have been the first time you had been fully clothed whilst both Steve and Bucky were naked and it felt incredibly empowering.
Steve’s hand cupped your jaw, thumb brushing over your lip as he admired your beauty, “I like seeing you like this”, he complimented, his breath fanning across your face with the close proximity.
You don’t respond to his praise, knowing that if you did talk it would most likely be a pathetic moan and you needed to keep this persona up so once more, you raised higher on your knees, guiding his cock to your entrance and sank down his length.
Once again, you didn’t want to waste time and began slamming up and down his body, hips rolling with each slap. Now you moaned deeply at the sensation between your legs and at the sight of Steve’s naked chest being covered with smears of Bucky’s cum from where it was still weight on the front of your dress.
Steve’s head dropped back at the feeling of you riding him, exposing the beautiful length of his skin and once again something took over your body, the possessive little demon that wanted to mark and claim him as your own. You sucked a path up the side of his neck, biting harshly on the junction where his shoulder and throat met, making Steve sigh in pleasure.
Against the side of your leg, you could feel Bucky’s slacks rubbing against your skin, still all trying to squish into the back of the car so as you finished leaving a particularly dark purple against Steve’s collarbone, you looked over at Bucky.
“Take your clothes off too”
“Yes, hot mama”.
You loved how they both were doing everything you instructed without a moment's hesitation, only spurring you on more with wanting to see Steve cum just as hard as Bucky had. With your fingers delved into the slightly damp hair at the name of Steve’s neck, you held his head in place, making sure that he watched you ride him.
“I want you to cum too, fill me up with your seed, wanna feel you dripping out of me”. Steve’es eyes rolled to the back of his hearing such dirty words leaving your lips. You did want him to cum inside of you, but not yet but he didn’t need to know that just yet, as mentioned, you were only just getting started.
Steve’s hips suddenly started fucking into your harder, planting his feet firmly onto the car floor so he could push up to meet your movements. “That’s it, I want you to cum Stevie”.
Your boyfriend shouts loudly, enough for anyone nearby to hear, holding your hips down with plans to cum inside your cunt, but once again you managed to roll off just in time, only moving your hands up and down his shaft twice before he's coating the two of your fronts in his white hot seed, much like Bucky.
His body twitches and jolts as he tries to come down from his high before he all but collapses into the seat, looking at you with a dangerous smile, “I thought you said I could cum inside of you”.
Looking at him through half-lidded eyes, you replied in a sultry voice, “You will. You both will”
You’re looking at him and then Bucky. Both naked and there was nothing you wanted more than to carry on the fun games but you needed more space, needing to be out of the cramped car. Steve’s fingers drifted to your upper back, grazing over the zipper of your dress but you stopped his movements by pulling his arms away gently.
“I want to go home”, you explained to his quizzical look.
“We will baby, but I need you to cum first”. The way he said need, had your pussy throbbing more and you were aching to find some relief with your own orgasm but that still wasn’t your priority, still planning to make them both feel good.
“No, I want to go home”, you whisper, looking into Steve's eyes and he gave in almost immediately with a huff at not being able to give you the relief he knew you wanted. Bucky banged against the window as you sat back into your seat beside Steve who helped you to pull your seatbelt over your body, whispering in your ear how much he fucking loved you before pulling his own safety restraint across his naked body.
Now you could look out the window, you saw that Natasha and Sam had parked in a random, dark alleyway in an area you didn’t recognise. The two bodyguards returned to the car and didn’t comment about the lack of clothing or the thick scent of sex in the car, both just casually chatting with each other as the journey home continued.
Steve’s hand stayed on your thigh the entire journey and from the corner of your eye, you could see them both getting hard again which thrilled you massively. Finally, the gates to your home were in sight and then you were bidding your friends/bodyguards a good night and walking into the house.
You were still fully clothed except for your panties and shoes, whereas Steve and Bucky were stark bollock naked, erect cocks bobbing in the air for all of the guards and security to see but they didn’t care, neither did you.
Your steps stopped in the entryway to your home, hearing the soft click as the door shut and the flick of the switch as Steve turned on the overhead light. Glancing around at your home, you breathed in the homely scents and let the familiar setting calm the little nerves that were beginning to push to the forefront of your mind.
You began to feel embarrassed by your out-of-control behaviour, shoulders dropping as the confidence seemed to seep away into the wooden floor below. A solid, warm body stepped into your line of vision, a finger was crooked under your chin to force you to look up into Steve’s eyes which were calm and twinkling with love.
“You know we don’t want anyone else right? I have always, and will always just want you”, Steve spoke softly and earnestly.
“Yeah…Yeah I know”, and you did know this. In fact, it was probably the main reason why you hadn’t cried today and let the anger come over your body. Your boyfriends had gone above and beyond for you, to keep up their affections and remind you daily of your importance to their life, you did not doubt it for a second that these girls were ever truly a threat to your relationship.
Another warm body was touching yours to the right, Bucky now taking control of the direction in which your head pointed whilst also raising his little finger, “Just us until forever right?” Your smile reached your eyes now at his little saying, something he’d recently begun saying when you were feeling doubtful and you were quick to hook your own much daintier little finger around his, squeezing them together.
You still felt somewhat embarrassed by your behaviour though and felt the need to apologise, beginning to form the words, “I’m sor-”.
Steve didn’t want to hear this though, cutting you off with his lips and kissing yours feverishly before pulling back when you were breathless. “Don’t you fucking dare apologise for today, I’ve never been so fucking turned on seeing you so possessive and jealous. Like Bucky said in the car, I’ve never cum so quick before”.
“Really?” you ask tentatively, looking up into his face, making sure that he wasn’t just saying this to make you feel better but with the intense way his eyes bore into yours, you knew he was very much telling the truth.
Steve had another way of showing you just how much he meant it though as his fingers slide around your wrist, bringing your hand up to touch just how rock-hard his cock was. “Yes really”.
Your hand circled around his length, moving up and down slowly, feeling the soft skin beneath and the ridges from the veins and a drop of precum forming at the end as you moved up his cock. Steve shuddered at the sensation, eyes closing as he leaned into your touch, hips rolling in time with your movements.
You admired him closely, from his parted lips to the rosy hint on his cheeks from his flushed arousal, to the sprinkly purple marks across his throat that you had left earlier in the car. It made you feel powerful. Yes, he was your boyfriend and you saw him every day but knowing that he was also the leader of the Rogers Mafia gang and here he was, shuddering at a simple touch of your hand, it was elating.
Bucky was now desperate for your attention as his lips lowered to the shell of your ear, “Let me make you feel good, wanna taste between your pretty thighs”.
You wanted that too, in fact, you were almost desperate to be touched like that but you also didn’t think you were done just yet with making them feel good so you simply shook your head softly.
Bucky frowned, pulling back to look into your eyes, “Why not Mama?”
“Because I want to make you feel good”.
Your hand was still leisurely wanking off Steve who was breathing heavily through his nose, nostrils flaring before he choked out as your thumb brushed over his tip, “And you have made us feel good, baby”.
Bucky once again pulled your attention as he continued talking, “Seeing you today stand up to those girls like someone had taken over your body, that you were willing to go out of your comfort zone just to stand up to those girls, was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. I nearly came over and fucked you in the middle of the party if you didn’t drag us out of there anyway. I know you’re soaking for us Mama, let me make you feel good like you’ve done for us”.
Your thighs rubbed together at his words about fucking you at the party, sort of wishing he had just so you could have seen those girls’ faces but then you would have missed out on the fun in the car. The thought of both of their faces as they climaxed had you reaching for Bucky’s cock, joining in with tossing him off at the same pace as Steve, not quite ready to give in yet.
The brunette’s eyes closed at your touch, sighing as he felt the same tension rolling away as you pumped his cock with your hand. There you were once more, pleasuring both of your boyfriends. Both of whom towered over you, and you could spend a minute admiring the way they let you touch them and the power that you held causing a small smile to form on your face, especially as Steve grunted, hips jerking again.
Even though your hands were aching with how hard you were squeezing them both, your movements became more enthusiastic. Steve and Bucky were so exposed, not even in the living room, just standing in the chilled entryway, being wanked off by you.
They deserved this, you decided. Of course, they did, they always made it their mission to worship your body thoroughly and you wanted to replay the favour.
Your mouth opened as you were about to ask if you could suck them off but you decided against asking, the alcohol buzz had worn off in the car but the adrenaline was enough to keep you thrilled.
“Hands behind your back”, you suddenly demanded, still keeping your voice soft and deciding to try and keep up the control for just a little bit longer. Steve and Bucky were instantly placing their hands behind their backs, their chests broadening and feet spreading a little bit to help their centre of gravity.
Both of their eyes were on you now, the various shades of ocean blue staring down at you, waiting for your next instruction, but you didn’t give them one, instead you dropped to your knees.
There was an audible suck in of breath from men as they watched you descend. The wooden flooring was cold against your knees and you had to rise to your fullest length on them to reach both cocks with the length of their powerful legs. You began with Steve this time, licking the underside slowly, holding his eye contact and tasting the salty goodness of his sweat and cum and even a hint of your own juices from where they’d dried on him.
Kissing the tip of his cock and swirling your tongue around the sensitive area, your one hand gripped his base to stop it from bobbing around, whilst your other hand continued to move along Bucky’s shaft.
You couldn’t help but smile around Steve’s tip as you noticed that his shoulders and upper arms were flexing as he tightened his grip behind his back. He wanted nothing more than to stroke your cheek but he was good and kept his arms behind his back as you moved further down his cock with your mouth.
His girthy dick was heavy against your tongue and as it grazed the back of your throat, stroking the area that was your limit. But you made sure to start slow, now wanting to push yourself too much as you could only take half of his length into your mouth.
“Your mouth is always so good baby girl”, Steve praised, a hint of red flushing across his face with his increasing arousal. You hummed in approval, the ache in your jaw and knees worth it to see him slowly bit by bit losing control.
But then, you’re moving over to Bucky who steps closer instinctively to help you reach him and it was an automatic response for you to praise him, the words whispering across the tip of his cock, “Good boy”.
Bucky let out the smallest whine from the centre of his chest and there were notable goosebumps that spread across his thighs, nipples perking as he shivered with the sensation. It was the most beautiful sight you’d ever seen and you didn’t waste another second before pulling him into your mouth, pleasuring him thoroughly.
You spent your sweet time moving between them both, saliva coating your mouth as they teased to push further down your throat. You were surprised just how well they were following your instructions as well as they both kept in that stance with their arms behind their back, their eyes not moving from yours as you moved from Steve’s cock to Bucky’s and vice versa.
Their sweet moans were so beautiful, especially as you slipped further down to suck a ball or two into your mouth, your tongue lapping against the sack and enjoying the way they hissed at the touch.
“You look so good on your knees like that”, Steve complimented at one point as you sucked your cheeks harshly around Bucky’s dick. Looking up at the blonde man and removing yourself with an audible pop before moving back over to Steve and pleasuring him.
It was fun going from one to the other and being in complete control, knowing you were slightly edging them before going to the next boyfriend. Your knees were starting to hurt more now with how long you had been on the floor but you didn’t let this stop you, contemplating if you should get them to finish in your mouth or a different body part.
It also dawned on you that this was the first time you’d been in charge in any sort of intimate moment, both Steve and Bucky being the definite dominants in the relationship. But in truth, you were enjoying this little role reversal and with how feral you were feeling after the interactions with the girls, you were glad to have the liquid courage in you to go through with it.
However, being this dominant with two powerful men was also slightly tiring, trying to decide what to do next when all you really had planned was that you wanted them to feel good. But you also couldn’t deny just how horny you were, in between your thighs uncomfortable with need and soaked enough it was leaking down your thighs.
As you gagged slightly around Bucky’s cock, you could feel it hardening slightly against your tongue and hand as he grunted, “Please, mama”.
“Please what? Talk to me Bucky”, you encouraged, wanting to hear more sweet words coming from his mouth.
The man shuddered once more as your voice vibrated against the tip of his throbbing cock, and as he opened his mouth, you truly took him in and just how desperate he was. His metal arm was whirring at the shoulder with how much he was holding it back with his normal hand, knowing he wanted nothing more than to hold the back of your head in place or cup your face.
“Say my name again”, he asked breathlessly, eyes closing for a breath second as you smiled up at him, one of the most beautiful sights he’d ever seen.
“Which name?” you teased. “Bucky? Buckaroo?”, with each name, you kissed along the length of his member, still tossing him at the base though for stimulation, the same with Steve. “What name do you want me to use? What about James?” He hissed at this name, cock throbbing more and you made a mental note of this and continued. “What about punk? Barnes?... Good boy?”
Steve’s cock also throbbed in your hand at the last name but it was mostly because Bucky suddenly came and you quickly had to swallow the tip and drink everything he was willing to offer, the substance thick and salty as it slide down your throat.
Bucky’s knees wobbled momentarily, frantically praising your name like a song until the last drop of cum was being sucked out of his member. You made sure to pull off of him fully, not wanting to overstimulate him, amazed slightly as he didn’t soften, it continued to stand up proud between his legs.
Smiling up at Bucky again with accomplishment, you then looked over at Steve, squeezing his length harder as he grunted down his own chiselled body at you readjusting on the wooden floor to remain only facing him, giving him your full attention.
“Are you still comfortable down there?” he asked, licking his lips whilst checking in on you.
Holding his eye contact, you licked his thick tip, nodding to his question. Steve chuckled and then sighed into the stimulation, closing his eyes for a second to savour the feeling before looking down at you with a single eyebrow raised.
“I don’t believe you baby”, his voice was full of confidence. In truth, you were very uncomfortable, our knees screaming for some relief from the solid floor but also your pussy was desperate to be touched but you didn’t want to make it about you just yet.
From the corner of your eye, you could see Bucky squatting down to be eye level with you, his arms still behind him, “let us make you feel good”, he asked with hope laced into every word.
Pulling off of Steve, and leaned into his warm thigh, nuzzling into the hair that covered the muscle, “But I want to make you both feel good! You’re my boys and not anyone else’s, it’s my job to make you feel good”.
“And you’ve made us feel good but this goes both ways, you don’t understand just how much I want to be in between your legs right now” Bucky admitted, his eyes wandering over your still-clothed body, his cheeks just as pink-tinged as Steves.
Looking up at the man whose leg you were leaning on, you asked, “What do you think Steve?”, before risking a quick nip to his sensitive thighs with your teeth, admiring the way his cock bounded in the air as he jumped slightly.
Steve’s voice came out in a growl, “I fucking NEED to touch you, even if it’s just a kiss. I need you up and off your knees, I know they hurt and I don’t want you in pain, there’s only so much time I can let you worship me before I get on MY knees and fucking beg to touch you, baby, so please, let us touch you.”
Heat flooded through your body at the intensity at which he spoke, you thought you were desperate, but that seemed to not be as severe as the mental game going on in Steve’s mind right now.
Biting your lip to try and hide your grin, you finally succumbed, “Seeing as you asked so nicely. Do whatever you want to me”.
You weren’t exactly sure who had grabbed you first. All you were aware of were hands picking you up and instant relief for your poor knees and then the sound of ripping as your dress was easily destroyed. Then you suddenly found yourself staring at the ceiling of the living room, the soft material of the couch beneath your now naked spine.
Lips were crashing into yours, a hot body crowding over yours, pushing you further into the cushions, their lips completely dominating yours. Matching the urgency in which they moved, you felt the rough scrap of facial hair and could taste Bucky, smiling into the kiss as your fingers gently ran over his body, spending extra seconds of love over the scars that he’d accustomed during his life.
As you opened your mouth to moan, Bucky’s tongue swallowed the noise, not relenting with his movements. You were so lost in the body hovering over yours that you were unsure as to where Steve was until you could feel him on one of your legs, kissing the sore knee cap, massaging the area before straightening your leg, and then circling around to the back of the couch to do the same with the other leg.
The relief was unbelievable at being able to extend your legs fully now but there was even more relief as Bucky began to explore your body, sucking on each of your nipples greedily, an action you watched closely. With each in further down your body, he made sure to lick and kiss every area of skin in his path, leaving the skin tingling with arousal.
Both of your legs were then being pushed towards your chest, giving Bucky the perfect view of your cunt, presented to him like it was dinner and with the hungry way in which he was admiring you, you knew that was basically what had been offered to him.
“You’re so beautiful”, he praised, kissing your inner thigh. Steve then sat next to your head, finally able to stroke the pad of his thumb across your cheek, something he had been internally begging to do since getting home and seeing you drop to your knees.
“We’re always just yours”, Steve reminded you, needing the tender moment.
“I’m always going to be yours too”, you responded with love before glancing down at Bucky who was watching with a softened look in his eyes, “and I’m always going to be yours as well,” Bucky mumbled the words back to you, his warm breath teasing the wet area soaking your cunt. Glancing down his body, you caught sight of his cock, still fully erect and pulsating. “How are you still hard?” you asked honestly, he’d already cum twice and hadn’t softened a single bit.
Bucky smirked at your question with quiet arrogance, “I’m always hard for you”. As soon as he finished his sentence, his tongue was pushing into your folds, tasting everything you had to offer. He didn’t bother with teasing, immediately delving his warm muscle into your cunt a few times, before finding your clit and rolling it around with the tip of his tongue and sucking it into his mouth.
Your moans were animalistic and finally had some stimulation after being horny for what felt like hours. Steve’s fingers drifted over your lips as he admired your pleasured expressions, just like you had been doing to the two of them.
“Kiss me. Now!” you demanded urgently.
“Yes, ma’am”. He was leaning down without hesitation and you realised just how much you’d missed his lips since coming home, feeling the freshly shaved cheeks against yours that were such a different sensation to Bucky’s facial hair. They were both so different and yet so similar and they were both yours.
It didn’t take long for Bucky to have you clenched your thighs around his head, frantically feeling the orgasm building in your core. A couple of minutes of clit stimulation from Bucky’s tongue and two fingers grazing over your tender spot within your hole and you were cumming with heavy breaths and moans.
Steve pulled away from the kiss to watch your pleasure, and also allowed Bucky to hear your unfiltered moans, then you were heavily breathing, hands falling onto the couch with relief of finding your peak.
Steve drops to his knees beside the couch so he can whisper into your ear, “I’m going to take you upstairs, lie you in the middle of our bed and I’m going to fuck you until you’re full of my cum. Then after I’m dripping out of you, Bucky here is going to do the exact same thing. This night isn’t ending until you’re full of both of us”.
You’re pathetically mewling at his words, reaching for him and he quickly scoops you up into his arms. You knew your dominant persona was slowly fading as they both scrambled to make you feel good and you didn’t mind that as much, wanting what he said he was going to do, more than anything else in the world.
As the three of you enter your bedroom and Bucky turns on the side lights, you realised you were nuzzling into the side of Steve’s neck where you’d left the scattering of marks. Stroking a finger over the bruised skin, you whispered, “So pretty”.
Steve smirks at your words, liking the thought of you marking him to show that he was yours. Laying you back into the centre of the bed, Steve is quickly on top of you with as much urgency as Bucky had downstairs on the couch.
Hiking your legs up and around his waist as his face dropped to hide into your neck, he's pushing his pulsing cock into your quivering cunt. You were thankful that he didn’t wait, wanting your bodies to be moulding together, his hips slapping into yours and his mouth was now moving against your neck, sucking and biting to match the moves you’d been doing in the car.
You could feel just how possessive and frantic his touches were, reciprocating how you had felt and it only made your heart beat harder, moan louder and hips rocking faster to try and match his dominant pace.
“You’re mind”, he suddenly grunts, against your lips, biting your lower lip and letting it snap back a second later. Sitting up slightly on his knees, he holds your jaw firmly in his grip, making you watch him as he shifted his angle up, hitting directly into your g-spot and he moved with such speed that all you could do was hold onto his wrist and scream out his name.
Your orgasm had you seeing stars, cunt desperately squeezing in pulses around Steve’s cock, so tightly that he too couldn’t hold back as he came, pushing his length all the way in so you could milk him properly, your walls convulsing in time with his throbs. You could feel the wetness and warmth of his cum filling you up and as he pulled up, some of it spilling out and running down your perineum.
Steve sits back to admire his handiwork, pushing your legs apart, and watching his cum at your entrance. “There’s my best girl”, he praised, reaching down with a finger to scoop the drips that had escaped and attempting to push them back inside of your body before moving out of the way for Bucky.
Bucky was more than ready to fill you up, helping to turn you onto your side, sliding an arm under your head and resting your leg up on his hip as he spooned in behind you. Much like Steve, Bucky didn’t waste any time before sliding in, the two of you moaning at the sensation of having Steve’s cum there, it causing extra squelching noises.
Your tits bounded on your chest with each fuck of Bucky’s hips into yours, his mouth attack your neck with just as much aggression as Steve who was now sitting and watching the two of you with a content smile.
You were absolutely fucked out of your mind both from emotions and physically being exhausted, a faint hum settling in your mind and body.
“You’re doing so well for us, Sweet Mama”, Bucky praised against your cheek as he reached down your body to roll your clit in circles to match the rhythm of his pounding hips. The stimulation was almost too much but it was also exactly what you needed as you held onto his arm desperately moaning out his name.
“Buc-Bucky… gonna cum”.
“Cum for me then Doll, want you to cum on my cock, so pretty when you cum”. His praises were like magic for your cunt, as it squeezed tightly in arousal. Those, matched with his tight hold on your body, his fingers playing with your clit and cock fucking you hard, you easily found your pleasurable high.
He didn’t stop, chasing his own orgasm which you were glad about, reaching down to grab the hand between your legs, your clit becoming a little sensitive now so you bought his hand up to your face and nuzzled into his palm.
“Mine”, you mumbled, feeling a little bit subspacey now.
“Yours, all yours, only yours, FUCK!” Bucky felt like he was in heaven as his thrusts stuttered slightly as he finally found his release, pumping his hot seed into your core. Your eyes were struggling to stay open with how exhausted you felt, but you watched as Steve approached, just in time for Bucky to slip out of your raw cunt.
“How beautiful does she look?” Bucky asked Steve as he held up your leg. Steve’s eyes cleaned as he looked at the mess between your legs, both his and Bucky’s cum were leaking from your hole, mixing with your own juices.
“So fucking beautiful”, Steve whispered lightly, kissing your ankle.
Your eyes closed fully now, sighing into the mattress as Bucky kissed your cheek one more time before untangling himself from your body. It was Steve who was touching your body next but this time with a warm cloth, carefully cleaning in between your legs but cum continued to trickle out so he just left it at that, discarding the material and moving to the top of the bed, dragging you easily along with him until you were laid out on his chest.
You felt happy and content as Bucky joined you both in the bed, watching as Steve turned on the TV attached to the wall. Distantly, you could hear Bucky and Steve discussing what take out order to get, making sure to get everything you would usually get and saying they would wake you once it was there, you needed a rest.
Your heart swelled with love, happy to be surrounded by two men that absolutely adored you and no other stupid girls were going to ever change that.
#mafia au#mafia!stucky#mafia steve rogers#mafia bucky#steve rogers smut#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky smut#bucky x reader#marvel smut#marvel oneshot#mine*#request
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Pick a Pile: A Cycle You Have an Opportunity to Complete
Disclaimer: tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice. Take what resonates; don’t force a reading to fit! Readings are based on current energy; your future’s in your hands.
pile 1⇘pile 2
pile 3⇘pile 4
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Pile 1:
What’s the cycle? [the tower, ten of wands rx, the high priestess, Indecision (Venus in Libra, 7th house), the empress (bottom of the deck), Elk rune]: hello pile one! I feel like you guys take on too many burdens at once, both your own as well as others’. You give so much until you can’t take it anymore, and this leads to a cycle of burn out. You’re well aware of this. You know when you’re carrying too much or need to reprioritize. Even though you can see the burn out coming, you cling on. Some of you get so stressed that you take sudden, impulsive actions to escape, like quitting a job or lashing out at others. I feel like the fall out or consequences you endure afterwards tend to be good learning experiences that open up new paths, but the continuous crashing is not sustainable. A few people in this pile also experience this cycle through romantic relationships, for example not being able to commit to one person and eventually losing multiple people.
Why is it repeating? What lesson do you need to learn? [two of cups, Change]: this pile has such amazing intuition, but you don’t listen to it! You ignore bad feelings and red flags and try to keep working through them. There’s a lot of people pleasers or recovering people pleasers in this pile which could partly explain this habit. You don’t have to immediately act on your feelings, but if something seems off, it’s important to note what your body and mind may be trying to tell you. It’s also important to balance out your giving and receiving sides, not only doing one or the other (especially giving).
The opportunity to close it [ace of wands, the emperor rx, ten of swords, Enthusiasm (Sun in Sagittarius, 9th house), Laguz rune]: this pile is going to get an opportunity to do something for themselves. This could be an opportunity for a personal project, to travel, or just something that will make YOU happy. However, it seems choosing yourself in this situation may feel hard, and it may upset others. You might have to pull your energy and time back from other commitments to take this opportunity. You might feel bad for choosing yourself, or others could try to manipulate you. This can include guilt tripping, passive aggressiveness, or using whatever method you usually respond to. It’s important to put your foot down against toxic people as well as your own toxic thoughts. This will also be a great opportunity to follow your intuition, and you may find it getting stronger if you don’t ignore it this time.
Extra details: fairy tale, carriage, tomatoes? You may feel like Cinderella, love the story, or similar movies. Or you may feel like you’re swept up in a fairytale when this opportunity comes to you (for some it’s meeting a new person). For those meeting someone new, they could be higher up in position than you. You may have people around you who try to attack your work ethic, morals, or credibility when you choose yourself.
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Pile 2:
What’s the cycle? [four of cups, knight of wands rx, the hierophant rx, Control (Jupiter in Capricorn, 10th house), Jera rune]: hi pile two! this pile feels very ambitious and capable. You guys have a lot of energy and talents that can be honed in many ways, but it feels like you’re put off by the actual process it takes to get to the end goals. You tend to daydream, contemplate, or brood about things you could be doing with your life, but then hesitate to actually do those things. For example, you may get really interested in certain fields of study, but then get discouraged by the academic or training process needed to work in that field. You want the end result but not the steps. You may feel stunted by society, like your dreams or creativity exceed the bounds of the “normal” paths you’re expected to take (like higher education, or a 9-5 until retirement). This cycle of piqued interest and disappointment leads to a lot of restless energy and melancholy; a feeling of wasted time, potential, and dreams.
Why is it repeating? What lesson do you need to learn? [king of wands, New Vision]: this pile will not be satisfied with being bound by convention nor letting all their potential go to waste. You guys are being pushed to realize your capacity, your endurance, and that you have a lot of power to do what you desire. You already see the limits and shortcomings of how the world operates; you’re encouraged to use this ability constructively. Break outside the box set for yourself and don’t underestimate your ability to see things through to the end.
The opportunity to close it [king of pentacles, two of cups, temperance, Speculation (Jupiter in Cancer, 4th house), Mannaz rune]: there’s a few different things going on for this pile. It seems like most of you are currently in a situation that could prove to be financially beneficial or otherwise a good opportunity. It seems like a new environment where relationships are forming, for example (but not only) moving in with roommates, a family move, or a new relationship (romantic or platonic). If this isn’t current then I feel like it's on your mind. Either way, the main focus for you is patience! Patience is necessary to nurture the parts of your life you want success in. It’s especially important for this pile to support their mental health as they work towards what they want; your perception and willingness to be patient gets filtered through your mental state. By waiting when necessary, you allow sustainable avenues to channel your energy. For some of you who are entering new relationships or communities right now, I feel like one person in particular will be significant to you in these matters, such as someone who offers help in your business or creative ventures.
Extra details: Jupiter may be a prominent planet in the birth chart, as well as the signs of Cancer, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Pisces. Heavy oppositions or squares in your chart related to the push-and-pull feelings. Road blocks. Forests. Journaling, writing, or wanting to be an author. Traveling across a body of water. Feeling discouraged by travel delays (some of you may have travel delayed by family?). Wanting a career that needs a degree but not wanting to go to school. Family pressure to take conventional paths. Fear of life commitments. Some of you in relationships (or your partner) are wanting to step up the seriousness, like by meeting families.
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Pile 3:
What’s the cycle? [four of wands, wheel of fortune sideways, queen of pentacles rx, Harmony (Sun in Libra, 7th house), Protection (Moon in Aries, 1st house), Sowilo rune]: hi pile three! You guys seem to have a generational or family cycle; you may notice very similar themes or lessons throughout your family’s relationships. There’s a cycle of relationships coming together to a high level of commitment, and then ending very significantly. This may play out as a cycle of divorces or broken families, especially where one partner cheats or otherwise neglects the family. In particular, I feel like the feminine energies in these relationships (so if not you, your female relatives/loved ones) are usually left in worse positions than before. This feels like cycles where someone is ambitious, skilled, talented, or financially stable, but after they experience a relationship, it’s very hard for them to get back on their feet. I also see this could have played out as one parent or guardian taking on more work to offset the neglect of the other parent. With this popping up as you guys’ cycle, you may notice traits of your relatives manifesting in you, or you have experienced similar relationship cycles.
Why is it repeating? What lesson do you need to learn?: [the devil, the fool]: much like pile one, you also seem to ignore red flags. You may be drawn to people and vices that you know are not good for you. Putting on rose-tinted glasses and falling into the thrill of something new. The enthusiasm and passion is wonderful, but you must still protect yourself. Be observative when things seem too good to be true. If something feels off, identify what makes you feel that way, and also what you’re going to do about it. You may need to reflect on how you self sabotage and why.
The opportunity to close it [the magician rx, temperance sideways, ace of cups, Status (Jupiter in Taurus, 2nd house), Friendship (Moon in Cancer, 4th house), Othala rune]: this pile seems to have went through an event that made them feel destitute or powerless, and for a lot of you this is a breakup (of any kind). There’s an emphasis on relaxing and being very gentle with yourself, especially if you’re trying to make some kind of quick rebound. This is a time to pour love into yourself and find what makes you feel balanced and stable. Many of you are being pulled back towards something you’re passionate about, whether this is personal projects or your career. You may be interested in self care through creating material stability and comfort right now, as these bring a sense of security. This might manifest as nurturing relationships with family, and those of you that are focusing on material comfort may find your family helps provide that at this time. Some of you are also focused on building generational wealth, and others are directing more energy into socializing. These are all great ways to create a strong foundation for yourself that is not so easily shaken. The important thing is investing in what makes you personally safe and fulfilled.
Channeled details: Europe (especially Southern), impatient, some may be getting drinks out a lot—especially with friends (this can include cafes), shadow work for harmful habits, gold, orange, crystals, working out, going to church (especially with family), returning to a religion, glow up, luxury, wearing a lot of jewelry or going to a jewelry store, family business, Mediterranean, dark brown hair and olive-toned skin, oceanside town, jogging/running, single mothers, generational cycles, talking to your mom or aunts more
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Pile 4:
What’s the cycle? [judgment, two of wands rx, queen of wands, Excitement (Mercury in Gemini, 3rd house), Mannaz rune]: hello pile four! Like pile two, this pile feels stuck in a cycle of wasted potential. However, it feels you have ongoing expectations placed on you; some of you may have to look after family members or are expected to “stay in your place.” This pile’s cycle feels the most directly influenced by their environment. You might feel trapped or stuck, maybe at home or even by your own self doubts. Deep down, most of you know you could succeed at what you want and this makes you more frustrated when chances pass you by. For example, some of you may feel disappointed in yourself for not going to school for what you actually wanted to do. There’s a lot of mental energy and anticipation with no outlet. A specific detail for a lot of people in this pile: troubles physically communicating or reading in school could have hindered your studies and contributed to your present day hesitancy. It feels like you want to change the world or feel called towards a bigger purpose, but as of right now this remains a feeling and not action.
Why is it repeating? What lesson do you need to learn? [six of pentacles rx, Sharing (queen of action)]: there’s two different groups within this pile. Some of you are very generous with your time and energy when it comes to taking care of others, and you must learn when to pull back and direct those resources into your own life. There’s a tendency to always put your self on the sidelines. Others of you are very reserved and closed, but on the inside you have a lot of ideas, love, and creativity to share. You might flip-flop between a lone-wolf stance and wanting community. Fears are understandable, but don’t deny yourself space to be intertwined and vulnerable with others.
The opportunity to close it [the magician, eight of pentacles, five of wands, Concentration (Saturn in Gemini, 3rd house), Tiwaz rune]: the overall energy for this pile is success, excitement, and talent, though I am picking up on a lot of different things going on here. For most of you, it feels like your opportunity is actually already here—or imminent. Some of you are finally going after something you’re passionate about or good at, whether in an institution (school, for example) or by yourself. Similarly, some of you may have gotten recognition for something, or been accepted into a program. There’s a strong willpower in you that’s been hampered, and I feel that something is triggering you to come out of your cocoon. For those of you that do have learning or speaking difficulties, I see you wanting to power through this. This might manifest very literally, like by having a long-delayed argument or conversation with someone that you feel you must do no matter what. Or, your opportunity may literally be working on your communication, like through speech therapy. Whatever your individual situation is, the energy got much lighter and more excited during this part of the reading; there’s a lot of positivity surrounding your pursuits! Please don’t feel you have to give up on your dreams!
Channeled details: bladerunner, “do it even if it’s hard,” boosts in confidence. Many different communication difficulties in this pile: anxiety, social/family pressure, neurodivergence, mental illness, speech impediments (this is the main one I was picking up on), language barriers, deafness, volume control. Vocal stimming or repeating oneself constantly. Sibling dynamics where one has to be taken care of by another. Unsupportive parents. Hyperfixations. Big arguments. Mediators (some of you are interested in diplomacy or law). Announcements, recognition. Returning to a hobby. Past difficulties in school. Perception anxiety. Overthinking. Strategy. Court cases. Finding things funny no one else does. Glasses, round face. Mami tomoe? Doing something for the greater good; social justice. Chess. Memes, vine. You may really like the Burger King foot lettuce meme lol?, courage the cowardly dog, Tinker Bell. Tea parties (or party planning). You may like things others find childish.
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#pick a pile#pick a card#pac#pick a deck#pick an image#divination#tarot#tarot reading#free tarot reading#free tarot#channeled message#channeled reading#collective reading#intuitive reading#pick a number#pick a picture#tarot cards#intuitive#collective message#oracle reading
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Bad Luck/Karmic Placements in Synastry
Aspects & Overlays that may indicate someone's natal energy brings about bad luck, bad karma, or a new karmic into your natal energy.
This is a topic I channeled because of my fascination with Neptune. As most of you know, aspects with Neptune can create illusory and fanatical connections in synastry and while most of us are just romanticizing our situations because something feels "fated," we may actually be doing ourselves a disservice by following a karmic, blindly, not realizing it's an illusion. Obviously, Neptune isn't the only indicator of these themes but it is the planet that I was interpreting when I became inspired to put this out there.
Or maybe your situation trends more on the side of meeting someone you're head over heels with BUT ever since you started talking/dating, you've had nothing but bad luck and blockages meet you at every turn.
I myself have experiences both, numerous times. I have accounted for the incidents and in reference to my knowledge of Astrology, I plan on giving you the most obvious signs of these red flags, hidding in plain sight!
Saturn Aspects: Challenging aspects (conjunctions, squares, oppositions) involving one person's Saturn and the other person's personal planets (e.g., Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars) can indicate areas where responsibilities, limitations, or challenges may arise. While these aspects can be demanding, they often present opportunities for growth and maturity.
Saturn Square or Opposition to Personal Planets: These aspects can bring tension and challenges to the relationship. The Saturn person may impose restrictions or limitations on the personal planet person, which can lead to feelings of frustration or a sense of duty and responsibility. It may feel like the relationship is demanding and requires effort to overcome obstacles. However, these aspects also provide opportunities for growth, discipline, and maturity.
Saturn Conjunct Personal Planets: When Saturn is conjunct a personal planet in synastry, it can create a sense of seriousness and commitment in the relationship. The Saturn person may take on a mentorship or authoritative role, and the personal planet person may feel a strong sense of responsibility toward the Saturn person's goals and values. While it can be challenging, it can also lead to long-lasting and stable relationships if both individuals are willing to work together.
Saturn Square or Opposition to Venus: These aspects may indicate challenges in the area of love and relationships. The Saturn person may bring a sense of duty, responsibility, or practicality to the Venus person's romantic inclinations, which can lead to conflicts or feelings of emotional restriction. However, over time, these aspects can lead to a deeper commitment and a more mature approach to love.
Saturn Square or Opposition to Mars: These aspects can signify challenges in the way the individuals express their desires and passions. There may be power struggles or conflicts related to assertiveness and action. While this can create tension, it can also lead to growth and better communication if both parties are willing to work through the challenges.
South Node Aspects: Aspects involving one person's South Node and the other person's planets can suggest karmic connections or unresolved issues from past lives. These aspects may indicate patterns that need to be acknowledged and transformed.
South Node Conjunct Personal Planets: When the South Node of one person is conjunct (close to) the personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) of the other person, it can suggest a strong karmic connection. This connection may indicate that the individuals have shared past-life experiences that need to be addressed in this lifetime. While this can bring up unresolved issues, it also offers a chance for healing and growth.
South Node Opposition Personal Planets: Opposition aspects to the South Node from personal planets can create a push-pull dynamic in the relationship. The individuals may feel a strong attraction and a sense of familiarity, but there can also be challenges related to the past-life themes associated with the South Node.
South Node Square Personal Planets: Square aspects to the South Node can bring tension and conflict related to karmic issues. The individuals may feel like they are working through old patterns and may experience resistance or challenges in doing so.
South Node Aspects to Outer Planets: Aspects from the South Node to the outer planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) can indicate deep and complex karmic themes. These aspects may suggest that the individuals have a significant karmic mission or purpose in this lifetime. While it can be challenging, it can also be transformative.
South Node Aspects to the North Node: Aspects between the South Node of one person and the North Node of the other person can indicate a karmic connection that involves working together to fulfill a shared purpose or destiny. These aspects may suggest that the individuals are meant to support each other's growth and evolution.
Chiron Aspects: Chiron represents wounds and healing. Aspects between one person's Chiron and the other person's planets can suggest areas where both individuals may trigger each other's wounds or provide opportunities for healing and growth.
Chiron Conjunct Personal Planets: When one person's Chiron is conjunct (close to) the personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) of the other person, it can indicate that the Chiron person may trigger or activate the wounds or vulnerabilities associated with the personal planet person. This aspect can create a sense of empathy and understanding, providing an opportunity for both individuals to work on their healing processes.
Chiron Opposition Personal Planets: Opposition aspects to Chiron may create a dynamic where the Chiron person and the personal planet person have different approaches to dealing with wounds or vulnerabilities. This can lead to growth through mutual support and understanding, rather than bad luck or bad karma.
Chiron Square Personal Planets: Square aspects to Chiron can bring tension and challenges related to healing and vulnerability. While there may be conflicts or difficulties, these aspects also provide opportunities for growth and transformation.
Chiron Aspects to Outer Planets: Chiron aspects to the outer planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) in synastry may indicate complex dynamics related to healing and transformation. These aspects often suggest that the individuals have deep, soul-level lessons to work on together, but they do not imply bad luck or bad karma.
Chiron Aspects to the North Node: Chiron's connection to the North Node can suggest that the individuals have a karmic opportunity to work on their healing and growth together. These aspects point to the potential for shared lessons and mutual support.
Chiron House Overlays: When one person's Chiron falls into the same house as the other person's planets or points, it highlights a specific area of life where healing and growth may be focused. This can lead to shared experiences and learning opportunities.
Pluto Aspects: Intense aspects (conjunctions, squares, oppositions) involving Pluto in synastry can indicate power struggles, transformational experiences, or deep emotional connections. While challenging, they can also signify opportunities for profound change and personal evolution.
8th House Overlays: The 8th House is associated with transformation, shared resources, and intense experiences. When one person's planets fall into the other person's 8th House, it can suggest a connection that may involve deep emotional or psychological processes.
12th House Overlays: Planets in one person's chart falling into the other person's 12th House can create a connection that feels mysterious, spiritual, or karmic. The 12th House is associated with hidden matters and the subconscious.
Vertex Aspects: Aspects to the Vertex point in synastry may indicate fated or karmic connections. These aspects can suggest a sense of destiny or significant life events associated with the relationship.
DISCLAIMER: challenging aspects or karmic connections do not necessarily imply negative outcomes. They often point to areas where personal growth, healing, and transformation can occur. Relationships, like life itself, involve a mix of challenges and opportunities for learning and evolving.
#astrology#natal chart#libra#capricorn#astro notes#sagittarius#zodiac#astro observations#synastry#synastry notes#taurus#aquarius#pisces#virgo#gemini
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bad idea right? - raphael x f!tav (part three)
you set foot into raphael's kingdom without a chaperone to retrieve the hammer he's promised you.
author's note: read part one/two. sorry for taking so long with the next installment. 4.2k words! there's lots in here. haarlep makes an appearance (of course). cunnilingus, face sitting, blowjob, rough sex, overstimulation. ao3 link.
You only caught a glimpse of the House of Hope when Raphael whisked you away during your first meeting but now you’ve nearly been through it top bottom. Yes, he told you to come here and go straight to the boudoir to retrieve the Orphic Hammer but were you really going to give up the opportunity to go through all his stuff? Of course not.
His house floats in the desolate hellscape of Avernus, yet he has no allegiance to Zariel as far as you’re aware. It’s moody and dramatic, two key adjectives for Raphael himself. The archive is overflowing with infernal knowledge, bookshelves from floor to ceiling and his prized possessions on display as if it’s a museum. The dining room is just as grand as you remembered it but with a hint of unease due to the rotting food. He knew he was having company - shouldn’t he have at least cleaned up? You attention is pulled from statues of devils to portraits of himself to the grapes and wine and hookahs seemingly strategically left throughout the house. You fine yourself drawn to the many balconies that oversees the green souls keeping the house afloat. You wonder what would happen if you fell. Will your soul be dammed? Will your bones turn to ash? Will you shed your human body and be stripped down to the delicious soul you are?
You may have learned more about Raphael in the last half hour than all of your other meetings combined. Much to your companions ire, you’ve stopped to speak to every single debtor. They’re broken. Broken souls worn down to the very essence of their being, cursed to toil away in eternity in Raphael’s House of Hope. Something about it… tickles you. He’s been nothing more than “helpful” since you’ve met him, sure the threats have always been there, but seeing what he is actually capable of with your own two eyes makes you remember what he is. A devil. A cambion, specifically. He could turn you inside out with the snap of his finger. But he doesn’t. He’s touched you instead, slithered his way between your legs just as the tadpole has wormed into your brain. Does he see you as a formidable ally? Or another plaything to break down? You wonder if Raphael has already started on you — if this is apart of your deal, scribbled in infernal (a language you can’t read) on your contract.
The thought makes you shiver. It makes you want him all over again. Even if he hasn’t started trying to wear you down… you hope he’ll try.
Speaking of Hope. You didn’t know what to expect when he gave you the order to steer clear but it certainly wasn’t a dwarven cleric being held captive in his basement. She accosted you the moment you set foot into her home, begging you to help her. You smiled and told her you would, the hero that you are. It was a lie, of course. She is desperate and broken but she still clings to her namesake. You can understand why Raphael would keep her — she rebukes his every advance and won’t give up her optimism. She believes she can be saved, and maybe she’s right but your hands are tied. Still, the thought of him having her here to continue to torture when he could be focusing that energy on you. You decide to at least bring it up to him the next time you see him, which has yet to be “scheduled”. Part of you wants him to be waiting for you in the boudoir, hammer and a glass of wine in hand.
“For all the sense of dread and horror seeping through this place I really feel quite at home.” Astarion chirps, tearing you away from your thoughts in an effort to get you back to the task at hand. He’s far more understanding than the others and at this point you’re not sure what you would do without him. You offer him a small smile and start to lead your merry group of companions to the boudoir. A crowd, certainly. But this should be easy — pop in, take the hammer which is the salvation for all of Faerūn and then have a pint at Elfsong (and maybe a visit from a certain devil later that evening).
The boudoir is expansive and you can see why it is held in such high esteem by the debtors. There’s a large, steaming bath surrounded by more grapes and wine. You fight off the urge to dip a toe in. There are several desks with journals, quills, books all stacked on top and large canvas paintings of hellish scenes and dark portraits. If these walls could talk…
You see sparks out of the corner of your eye, your head twisting to see an empty space where you companions once stood behind you. A trap. This is a trap. Your chest tightens and you swear to yourself, you should have known something wasn’t right. Anger boils within you and a readiness rises to swing your blade at the next living, breathing thing that comes into your eye line. You keep your hand firm on the handle of your sword and move deeper into the spacious room. Are you a fool to have fallen for Raphael’s trickery? Or is he really that good? Even in the face of potential betrayal,
“Raphael?!” You are bewildered, mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed. The devil gives a delighted laugh as he slinks to his knees, his wings stretching out behind him. You blink a few times, overwhelmed just by the sight of him — displayed in all his glory in a leather harness, even though you are sure this is some sort of trick. The second he opened his mouth, you knew. You suck in a deep breath, steeling yourself to focus.
“No, no, love… has he not told you about me?” Haarlep bares his fangs in a sinister smile, creeping closer to you at the edge of the bed. His tail slithers back and forth behind him, dangerous yet playful. You open your mouth to respond but he cuts you off — “I’ve heard quite a bit about you, mouse.” Warmth blossoms in your chest. He talks about you? Haarlep swings his legs over the edge of the bed and lifts himself to his feet, his body becoming the only thing you could possibly focus on. He lingers in front of you and eyes you as if you are a delicious meal, his tongue wetting his lips and a low hum rumbling from his chest. “A pretty little toy, aren’t you?”
“I… no, he hasn’t told me about you.” Confusion. Utter confusion. And, is it… is it hot in here? You’re sweating — you can feel it on your brow. “I’m here for the hammer.” Back to business. “We made a deal and he said it would be here.” Your voice strains, a mix of frustration and being so completely lost in the situation.
“A shame.” Haarlep purrs and leans in closer, leering over you with a sharp smile. “I am not too surprised though — how does one bring up having their own personal incubus who takes their form in casual conversation?” A claw runs along your jaw, the tip of his nail giving you goosebumps. From your adventure in Raphael’s house, it was easy to come to the conclusion that he has a plethora of kinks but this — this is something else. “You’re here for the hammer, that is correct, my dear, but you are also here to play.” His tail starts to slink up your leg and warmth starts to pool in your core.
“B-but Raphael —”
“You have his permission, mouse. And, fun fact about me using Raphael’s likeness — he’ll be able to feel everything we do. He’s expecting it, in fact, and I’m sure he’s looking forward to it.” Haarlep’s claw closes around your chin and forces you to gaze into his familiar burning eyes. Black holes. You feel their pull. “Perhaps he is conducting business right now — could you imagine? Him trying to make a deal while being able to taste you on his lips?” A jolt of arousal rushes through you, bringing a blush to your cheeks. Haarlep’s lips twitch into a devilish grin as you fall right into his grasp. The image he’s painted for you is beyond tempting; having Raphael be helpless to your touch while he’s off doing his devilish duties, desperate to conceal his erection. And, well, you have his permission, don’t you?
Haarlep lets go of your chin and swishes by you, his warm bicep brushing your shoulder and his tail flicking against your ankle. Your eyes trail after him, catching a glimpse of his toned back and his wing joints, veins bulging from the taut skin. You wonder if Raphael’s looks the same. It dawns on you that you haven’t seen much of his skin, in fact, you haven’t even seen his cock yet despite him spilling his seed inside you. You swallow thickly and take a step back, the backs of your knees hitting the foot of the bed.
“Cat got your tongue, mouse?” Haarlep moves in closer to you, the heat radiating off his body making your chest flush.
“No.” You answer sharply before slowly sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning back on your palms and spreading your legs wide. His eyes rake over your figure, tilting his head to get a better look at you. You say nothing but Haarlep understands and sinks to his knees in front of you with his head settling at eye level. A hand rests on his chest, coarse hairs underneath your fingertips as you start to wander lower. Haarlep’s arms curl around your back, the tip of his nose just about touching yours as his body makes your legs spread even more. The heat between you is palpable and only continues to grow while you start to stroke at the ridges along his hips. It’s unusual for Haarlep to get this sort of attention, from both guests of the House and Raphael himself.
“You do not deserve to call such a man ‘Master’.” He can’t help it, locking eyes with yours. His words sting but the feeling is quickly washed away by his tongue slipping into your mouth. The breath leaves your lungs, sinking into the hellfire that is Haarlep. Nothing matters but how he tastes you in a deep kiss, his claws pricking at delicate skin beneath your sleeves. You top is gone in a matter of seconds and whether your helped him take it off of you or it disappeared with magic is beyond your at this point. All you want to do is feel. He breaks the kiss and brushes his lips along your jaw, his teeth nipping right where it meets your earlobe. You pull him closer by his harness until he is flush against you. Haarlep trails kisses further down your neck and your collarbone, sucking and biting enough to draw gasps and hums from you. He gently guides you to lay down on your back, his entire body enveloping you until he starts to move his mouth lower and lower.
Each kiss is like an explosion of sensations along your skin, buzzing and burning yet feeling so deliciously blissed out. You’re melting into the mattress, melting into him, each touch of his taking more and more of you. He leaves a trail of goosebumps in his wake, his mouth then closing around your nipple. His tongue flutters around your hardened peak, making you tip your head back as you give a breathy moan. His hands are somehow everywhere all at once; Fingers feather through his hair and then settle at the base of his horns while he continues his descent. You feel him mouth around your navel with light scrapes of his teeth, his hands slinking down to tug at your pants. He takes his time, pulling them down inch by inch, lavishing kisses across your hip bones. You wriggle out of your pants, growing impatient but not wanting to order him.
Haarlep tongue lazily traces your clit and a ragged gasp escapes your lips, a jolt of pleasure rocketing through you. He laps at your slick folds, groaning at the taste of you and presses his face into you, his nose settling just at your clit. Your grip on his hair tightens and you can’t stop yourself from giving it a sharp tug as you squirm and huff. His claws curl around your thighs, the tips of them digging into the tender flesh of your inner thighs. You’re seeing stars, his tongue pressing into you so deeply while he grunts and laps at your juices. Your back arches off the mattress, your mouth hanging open and spilling hoarse moans. It’s devastatingly sensuous, your temperature rising to a comfortable simmer as your mind starts to clear. This could be forever, couldn’t it? You could stay here with Haarlep’s head between your thighs, devouring you until nothing else matters.
Your hands close around two of his horns and your hips start to roll, tugging him with each of your fluid movements. He growls into your cunt, making your thigh and core muscles tense, a deep groan falling from your lips. You’re so far gone yet so close to the edge, his tongue laving at your core as his claws dig even dipper into your thighs. The fire in your abdomen is raging, overwhelming you almost to the point of no return with soft moans turning to deep whines. You hear a rumbling groan, one too deep to be Haarlep’s, just as your dam bursts. Your eyes flutter open and you see him — Raphael — in cambion form with his navy blue doublet and a smug expression on his face. A broken sob heaves from your chest, Haarlep savoring the taste of your cum.
“Enjoying the amenities, are we?” Oh, he sounds so pleased with himself. If you had any energy you would mouth off but all you’re able to muster is a dramatic eye roll. Raphael slinks out of view, the bed dipping behind your from his weight. He had planned for this, the bastard. Your mouth is still slack and your heart is still pounding, trying to come down from an impossible high when Haarlep grips you by the hips and flips you over, your chin nearly landing in Raphael’s lap. He grabs you, his claw nearly clasped around your entire head and lifts you so that you’re looking up at him, though he makes sure you’re able to get a nice view of how hard he is through his trousers. “You taste sweet, little mouse. It’s only fair that you taste me after how wound up you’ve got me. Allow me to assist in getting you started.” His voice is dangerously low, glee in his fiery eyes as he unlaces his trousers, freeing his leaking cock**.**
It renders you speechless, larger than any cock you’ve seen before and it’s ribbed, a pearl of pre-cum already collecting at the top. Your jaw drops and Raphael takes this as an opportunity, forcing your mouth around him and guides you down his length. You groan as soon as you taste him, his cock heavy on your tongue as you run it along the underside, feeling every bulging vein. He’s so large that you drool and gag once he hits the back of your throat, swallowing and trying to breath comfortably. Haarlep is lurking behind you but you’re too focused at the task at hand to notice — until it’s too late. He positions his head between your legs, this time underneath you, his horns flush with your stomach, hands digging into your ass as his tongue savors your folds.
A moan of surprise rumbles up your throat and your head wrenches backward. Raphael’s grip on your head tightens and forces you back down his length with a violent tug. You’re eyes are watering and you struggle to breathe with his pulsing cock shoved down your throat while Haarlep toys with your clit, pinching it between his fangs and flicking his pointed tongue. Raphael bucks his hips into your mouth, fucking your face as he growls with need. You whimper around him, your vision blurring further from the tears in your eyes and the building tension in your core. You feel helpless, used. It’s the first time with Raphael you’ve felt you didn’t have the upper hand, or at least a cool head. The devils have reduced you to a mewling mess, a toy for them to play with. You mindlessly grind you hips against Haarlep’s face and he groans into you, his nose pressing firmly into your clit. A choked sob falls from your lips, your fingers digging into the sheets and your skin buzzing.
“Your lips are so pretty around my cock, mouse.” Raphael croons and tilts your head up so he can see you. Your cheeks are flushed and streaked in tears, your lips swollen and eyes half-lidded. He would paint you if he wasn’t so preoccupied by that mouth of yours. Hmm, perhaps he could paint your face. His claws dig into the sides of your head as he pulls you off of his cock, his other hand giving himself a few strong pumps before spilling his seed on your face. You’re panting, gasping for air as you sink forward, your cheek landing on the soft sheets. Raphael lifts himself off the bed but you’re too tired to lift your head to watch him, instead focusing on steadying your breath.
“You’ve had your fill.” He sneers and pulls Haarlep out from underneath you who gives a frustrated snarl. There’s some bickering but you’re too overstimulated to listen. After a moment Raphael’s claws settle on your waist with a low hum. He says nothing as he drags his cock along your dripping folds and you give a sharp whine, scrambling to adjust yourself. Your hips press back into him, sinking himself deep inside you with a calculated thrust. Primal lust explodes and courses through your body as you give a broken sob, your legs trembling and your core tensing while you ease his size. One large claw rests on the side of your head, nearly covering your eyes with his long fingers, and he clamps down on you, your face smushed against the mattress. His hips buck wildly against your ass, his pace brutal and punishing but you are basking in it, pushing back into each of his thrusts.
You feel his devilish strength, each roll of his hips sending you forward, your face buried in the covers as you cry and whine in twisted pleasure. Raphael has you laid bare. You’re nothing but a hole to him right now, a means to get him off just as he uses Haarlep. But there’s something about it that sends shivers down your spine: the possessiveness of it all. His claw is splayed out over your head, his other one digging harshly into your hip, slicing your flesh and making you bleed. The only thing on his mind is having you, having you in his true form, exerting his strength over you until you’re a quivering mess. He wants to fill you. Raphael hikes your ass up even higher and fucks into you, the new angle making your toes curl. You moan his name and he gives a pleased purr, driving into you quicker and harder.
You body feels as though it splits apart, overcome with your white hot climax. He rest his entire body weight on you now, crushing you beneath him as he buries himself deep inside you, over and over. His hot breath fills your ear, sharp and strained. You’re shivering, tears staining the sheets. Raphael utters one last hiss, teeth grazing your ear as he spills himself inside you, his hips slowing with each pulse of his cock. He’s on top of you until he’s spent, his nose nuzzling into your hair.
You can’t feel your limbs. Your body is trembling, your voice hoarse in your throat as you manage a weak protest. Raphael has you on your back in the blink of an eye, his tail slithering up your hips while he slots himself between your legs, using his knees to spread them further. His board is hard against yours, his clothes having disappeared. Your breath catches in his throat at the pressure of the top of his hard cock against your entrance. Surely you couldn’t take any more of this? You feel like you are about to melt away physically and mentally, your body limp and your brain fogged from the intense overstimulation. Raphael’s massive claws close around both your wrists, pinning them to the bed as his forearms cage you beneath him. The edge in his fiery eyes has softened and his nose drifts along your cheek, taking a deep inhale of your scent.
“A delicate little thing, aren’t you, sweetling?” He growls into your ear, his mouth hot and his sharp teeth pricking your skin. You open your mouth to answer but Raphael shifts his hips forward, the head of his ridged cock easily slipping inside you, the words getting caught in your throat. He hums against your ear and then drags his sharp tongue down the side of your neck. Your eyes roll back, squeezing them shut as he gives a languid thrust and pushes in to the hilt, a loud gasp forcing its way up your throat. Arms slip around his broad shoulders, body arching into his and you feel yourself start to disappear. Raphael lifts his head and hovers his mouth above yours. A groan vibrates up his chest to his throat, his lips parted as he continues at a lazy pace. He can’t get enough of your reactions, your cheeks flushed a delicious shade of pink, your lips swollen from how he fucked your face earlier and those sweet, breathless sounds that are spilling from them.
This is a stark contrast from how he had just taken you, his hips circling in slow, sensual movements that has your core twisting in arousal despite your exhaustion. His own deep moans send current after current through you, reigniting your passion and need for him. You bring your hips up to meet his with each thrust and he bares his teeth as your writhing grows more fluid. Raphael releases your wrists so that he can drag one of his sharp claws down your collarbone and along your side, leaving scratch marks. You move your hand to his hair and you realize this is the first time he’s been comfortably within grasp. Self control out the window, you touch his pointed and then bravely run your fingertips over his horns. Despite looking rugged and razor-sharp they’re smooth beneath your fingers. You wrap your hand around one of them and give it a gentle tug.
“Mouse.” The word is strained, sounding like a warning or potentially a challenge. You take the gamble and pull on his horn again. Raphael shudders, an uncontrolled moan spilling from his lips. His mouth drops open, lips curled into a blissful smile. You hum in response, feeling a deep flush in your chest from his reaction. His eyes sharpen as the feeling passes, slowing his thrusts and silence falling between you. Your breath catches in your throat, tension in your chest, your mind hurdling a million miles an hour suddenly because you feel like you’re in trouble. Raphael slowly moves his claw to curl underneath your chin, eyes locking with his. He groans, his entire body rumbling against you and leans in, capturing your lips. It’s shockingly gentle, passionate that only increases with his need to consume you. His hips jerk, tail wrapping tightly around your leg only to peel you further apart as he picks up his thrusts again. Your tongue runs along his sharp fangs and he purrs into your mouth, biting down on your tongue and lip playfully.
You’re all too aware of the way he throbs inside you, his ridges massaging your walls in a way that makes you see stars. Raphael’s growling grows deeper, vibrating through him as his pace starts to grow ragged, frantic and out of time. He gives a strangled hiss into your mouth, his body shuddering while he empties himself inside you. You’re already so full that it seeps down the insides of your thighs. Raphael breaks the kiss and presses his nose to your flushed cheek, catching his breath.
“I won’t stop. Not ever. Not until I own you completely.” A hot whisper of the clearest words he’s ever spoken to you. You sink further into the mattress, melting away as he rises over you, his red wings ruffling behind him. His obsession with you is written all over his face, his eyes taking in every part of your exhausted body, plotting more ways to keep you in his bed. He cracks his neck and his expression hardens in an effort to get back to the business at hand, though you feel one of his hands stroke at your arm.
“Rest now, mouse.”
Comfortable darkness envelopes you.
#raphael x tav#bg3 raphael x tav#raphael bg3 x tav#bg3 raphael#raphael#what do i even tag this ahahaaa#oo haarlep!#haarlep#haarlep x tav#haarlep x tav x raphael
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How I prep for a new semester at uni:
I make a new time block sheet. I put all my classes in, then my commute time. From there I plan study hours, when I need to wake up to not feel rushed, work hours, etc. This plan helps to keep me from getting too overwhelmed and let me feel like I have everything under control.
I do my school shopping on prime day or after the back to school rush. You'll find those nice multi subject notebooks on sale for cheap and fun stationary and backpacks a lot cheaper like this!
I try to get a head start in classes. If I know we're reading a book or something I'll start a couple weeks before school starts. I try to take notes on as many chapters/subjects as I can and all that. This not only helps me get ahead, but it also helps me for when I inevitably fall behind.
I get all the routine maintenance done on my car. I drive over an hour to get to classes so this is very important. Oil change, tire rotation, balance, filters, etc. I save up my summer tips to get all this done.
I stock up on easy and fast foods. Instant noodles, granola bars, frozen meals, etc. Between working a lot and doing classes I don't have the energy to cook and do dishes so this saves me.
I give myself little reasons to get excited. The teacher or the campus or a friend. Whatever it may be. I HAVE to have a reason to drive that long to attend a class for an hour and come back and not get stressed.
I make a food budget. It's so easy to spend $150 a week on snacks and treats and coffees and such. So I have to set a budget and a plan for myself so I can actually pay my rent haha
I plan my walks to classes on campus. Where I'll park, how much time I have between classes, how to get there, etc.
If I have late classes, I make sure that I can call someone after every class as I walk to my car to make sure I'm safe.
Plan little treats and rewards. If I realize there's a week that's going to be super hard on me, I'll plan a little early morning walk or something special I don't do often after as a reward.
I try to be more positive to myself the closer the semester comes. I have to be proud of me and my work. I have to be confident in my abilities. So I have to have that mindset. Which is super hard as someone with severe anxiety and depression and who has been conditioned growing up to be quiet and a background character essentially. But I AM good. I AM smart. I can ace these classes. I deserve to be here and I deserve good things.
I triple check with my job to make sure they have my updated availability and will give me the flexibility I require due to my classes.
Overall, I just get my shit together once again and try and get myself excited. I have the opportunity to study at a university and that in itself is absolutely amazing and something I don't take for granted.
#study blog#student#student life#studyblr#productivity#school#study hard#studying#school advice#uni student#university student#uni life#uni#university#college studyblr#college student#college life#college#college tips#list#what i do to prep for uni
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WILL YOU BE FAMOUS?
This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.
I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.
PICK A CARD READING
I asked my spirit guides if you would ever get the chance of being famous, pick a picture to find out.
DISCLAIMER: when doing this reading I did not quite realise the relevance of famous can range from having a viral video on TikTok to actual worldwide fame, so I will redo this with social media to worldwide sometime soon!
Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3
Pile 4 ———> Pile 5 ———> Pile 6
PILE 1
YES! Once again I received a pile based on helping others lmao, I see you guys receiving extreme wealth from speaking and acting on humanitarian causes. Heavy protesting energy. You will however receive some hate for this so be careful! You may stick to only social media but will become very abundant nonetheless.
PILE 2 (18+ themes)
YES! I see this being something you never imagined being able to do, I notice a lot of wands in this spread so you could lowkey become famous for doing porn, or other sex related work.
However, for those of you who don’t resonate with that, you may be doing something to do with the public in a way of singing or speaking. (The wands remind me of microphones.)
There is a sense of secrecy which was why I was getting sex work lol, but if not, I can see you may have some fans who will attempt to gatekeeper you as you grow.
PILE 3
YES! This pile was very hard to decipher because there’s so many ways this could go, first being that you gain social media fame from getting into a physical fight with someone (this is so weird but i saw someone sat doing a get ready with me while covering up bruises and trying to explain how they got there while assuring everyone that they won lmaoo.) Or you may be exposing a past relationship for being toxic (I feel like this would be a partner in the industry.)
I see you have an opportunity to keep this fame from dying out which can lead you to a new lover if you’re interested in that, you guys may even get married sometime in the future. If not then I definitely see business opportunities coming your way.
PILE 4
YES! This will only resonate with some of you that’s for sure, but I see that you may have a situation where a lover cheats on you (sorry) and you may record either an argument, the breakup or some big tantrum that they throw and post it to social media to humiliate them #slay. The video will certainly go viral but you will receive a lot of mixed reactions so beware. You may also have the potential or growing this fame if you stay consistent and keep it exciting.
PILE 5
Unfortunately I don’t see this in the cards for you. I see that you have a large amount of worry for hatred and criticism and you may just want to live a peaceful, quiet life. I see that you certainly value your peace and would run from the hatred if you got it. I also notice that you may already, or will have a leadership job or opportunity that you won’t want to pass up on. So don’t dwell, you have freewill so if you really desire fame, go for it.
PILE 6
I unfortunately don’t see this in the cards for you. I notice that you totally have the potential (and freewill!) to make ir happen if you really wanted. But I also see that you are never really happy or fulfilled. I think someone told you that you can’t make it happen and I feel that’s why you stopped trying. Do not give up, you never know the difference you could make.
#pick a card#tarotcommunity#tarotblr#tarot#tarot reading#tarot witch#free tarot#daily tarot#pick a pile
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𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙤𝙗𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙥𝙩. 4
take with a grain of salt and only take what resonates
✰ a year in which you have uranus in the 𝟪th house could indicate a life-changing + unforgettable year
✰ lilith in the 𝟣𝟤th house shows obsession with fantasies/spirituality and things that lead you off track. also lack of sleep!
✰ 𝟣𝟤th house ruler in the 𝟪th could indicate lack of sleep or trouble sleeping for that year
✰ having solar return part of fortune conjunct the natal ascendant could mean having something really lucky/fortunate happening to you especially money wise (does not always have to correlate to money though, also general happiness)
✰ wherever your solar return mc falls in your natal chart shows what your responsibilities may consist of:
solar return mc in natal 7th = working with somebody else in order to accomplish your goals/responsibilities for that year
solar return mc in natal 2nd = goals/responsibilities may have to do with reorganizing your personal values/possessions/money/self-worth etc…
solar return mc in natal 5th = you may be able to display your creativity on a more public level this year
✰ asteroid fama (𝟦𝟢𝟪) in the 𝟣𝟣th is a fame indicator
✰ solar return vertex in the 𝟪th/scorpio (sometimes 𝟫th as well) can also show a life-changing year
✰ asteroid mony (𝟩𝟩𝟪𝟤) in solar return (sr) 𝟣st house shows that you may be more ambitious and may do side hustles to get more $$
✰ but in my opinion asteroid mony doesn’t only speak to the actual money it can also show where we are finding future opportunities to make $$ for that year as well
✰ lilith opposite mc in sr can show some mental health struggles for that year
✰ check to see where sr vertex falls in your natal:
12th = themes of isolation/mental health/creativity/spirituality are more present
2nd = managing finances/self-worth/skills and basically getting yourself together
7th = enemies/friends/one-on-one situations/business impact that year ahead
✰ sr lilith conjunct neptune can also show mental health struggles but emphasis on fears and anxiety
✰ sr moon in the 𝟫th indicates chnages in your philosophy
✰ a year in which you have your sr rising in your natal 𝟤nd house could mean that you are preparing for something long term for that year
✰ years in which you have sr rising in angular houses are action-oriented, it’s almost more in-your-face and this-is-it type of energy if that makes sense
✰ ive noticed that people usually have neptune in the 𝟨th house when they’ve dropped or taken a break from school?
✰ asteroid academia (𝟪𝟤𝟫) in the 𝟦th is indicative of an emotional year (especially in scorpio), you are exploring your feelings more deeply and learning how to nurture yourself better
✰ mc/𝟣𝟢th house ruler in 𝟥rd can mean a lot of activity on social media
✰ sr vertex conjunct natal mercury or visa versa can indicate making connections that change your life trajectory
✰ sr vertex at the 𝟤𝟤nd degree could mean a very busy but also kind of mentally exhausting year
friendly reminder that i have solar return (and other readings) available as of right now :)
hope you enjoyed!
#astro community#astrology observations#solar return chart#solar return observations#solar return#whole signs#astro tumblr#astrology tumblr#astro observations#astro content#astrology content#astro notes#astrology notes#astrology#aquarius#pisces#neptune#taurus#pluto#midheaven#saturn#pluto aspects#aries#taurus placements#gemini#astrology transits#astro predictions#astrology community#cancer#leo placements
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This is related to another reminder: fanfic writing is not a competition, and it’s not a job post.
I have been experimenting with using ChatGPT to write stories with a provided idea prompt from my imagination. I edit and read to make sure the generated story is in line with the general idea of the characters.
Between work, life, building a business, and the 1000 different story ideas in my head, I don't have as much time and bandwidth as I used to actually write from start to finish. 2 of the 3 fandoms I write for have pretty much declined and the other is still there.
My question to you is what are your thoughts on using AI to write fanfics?
disclaimer: this is just my personal opinion and preference as someone who also writes fanfics and has been writing for 8 years (I have never used AI to write, and have no intention to). my words are not laws, and this is by no means to shame or attack anybody.
I personally believe the fun of writing a fic is gone when you use AI to write a fic. I love writing because I love the act of writing, of thinking about what my blorbo would say and what they would do in this situation I put them in. not the act of telling Al to write something for me, if that makes sense. (sure, I may have joked about wanting a fic to 'write itself' sometimes, but when I made that joke, it was just a joke, and it was never about AI).
there's a huge difference between using a prompt generator website to get motivations and ideas in regards of what to write, and using AI to write the fic.
even if you edit and read everything to make sure it's 'in character' after you use AI, you're still not the 'author' of the story, but rather a beta and an editor.
we all have lives outside of writing fanfics, yes, I know because I've been busy with life outside of AO3 lately and have been finding it hard to find an opportunity where I could sit down and write without exhaustion or job-related stuff pulling me away from my fics, but I'd prefer to only write when I can — when I have the time and energy — to AI any day, even if that meant it took me longer to get a chapter done.
and if I could, I'd avoid reading AI-generated fics just because I'd also prefer to read fanfics that were written with passion and the love the authors have for my favorite characters, and only humans can do that. AI fics just lack a soul in my opinion.
#admin answers#ao3#archive of our own#writer#writeblr#writing#writers#writers on ao3#writers on tumblr#writing challenge#whump#whumpblr#angst#blorbo#fandom#poll#fandoms#AI#ai generated#writing advice#writing inspiration#writing inspo
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; ⎯ may i have this dance?
synopsis. when a certain special song comes on, you and riki meet eyes across the large and crowded room, moments before he decides to ask you for a dance.
pairing. ni-ki x fem!reader ⋅ genres. fluff, classmates/friends to lovers, highschool dance!au ⋅ wc. 1.1k ⋅ warnings. none
prompts 1. holding their hands when they are shaking ; 14. singing and dancing to their favourite song ; 18. sharing a soft smile across a crowded room ⋅ requested by 3 lovely anons <3 ⋅ dark blood event
song rec. nan-nan — fujii kaze (recommended by the nishimura riki himself i’m actually being fr so go listen to it !!!)
a/n. so many ppl ik are graduating hs this year and so this is rlly giving ✧ prom ✧ ,,,,,, i miss my prom :’> even tho it was kinda sorta a big disaster ,, but uh ,,, that’s a story for another time :’>
the mildly chaotic atmosphere mixed with the heat emitting from hundreds of bodies filling the room, you swayed side to side, doing your best to mask the hidden gloom you were feeling inside.
you had come to your school dance with your friends, but being too immersed into the music and the energy of the night, they eventually found themselves drifting off to go dance with others they took interest in, leaving you all alone at the corner of the dance floor, moving around awkwardly to look like you were busy and enjoying your time, when really, you felt lonely and pathetic.
eventually, the upbeat, hype song ended, and on came one you immediately recognized to be by none other than fujii kaze, one of his pieces called nan-nan. you smiled at the memory it brought to you from a few months ago…
you were sitting in class beside one of your peers you wished you had the opportunity to grow closer with, nishimura riki. after knowing him for some time you found there was some unique charm to him, from the way his boxy smile would fill the room with a glowing aura, to the way he would make those around him laugh at his silly behaviour. there was just something so attractive about him, and one day you began to realize the way your heart would pound abnormally whenever he would do as little as say your name; or the way your stomach would flutter with butterflies whenever he would share a new favourite song of his with you, and how his eyes would light up whenever you expressed that you liked it.
you began to like this boy called riki ever since.
and so when nan-nan began playing, the instrumental in the intro leaving the speakers and filling the echoey room, you somehow found and locked eyes with riki, perhaps through some crazy coincidence or maybe by fate, and you smiled at him immediately before he returned it, as you were reminded of the time he happened to share that exact song with you in class just a few days ago.
he was dancing with his own friends and having a good time, but after meeting eyes with you, he immediately made his way over with that goofy, excited grin on his face. and your heart went wild.
he looked stunning in his white button-up, sleeves rolled up to highlight his forearms perfectly. it was a typical outfit for all the guys at this dance, really, but somehow, in your eyes, riki pulled it off infinitely better than any of the other hundred boys in the large room, dancing their worries away.
his hair was slicked back, exposing his forehead which you didn’t get to view every day, for most of the time it was hidden under his fallen bangs.
and why was he looking so stunningly tall today? there’s no way he could have grown so much in just one day…
and before you knew it, the boy with the growing grin was standing in front of you with a hand out, asking for your own.
you glanced down at the welcoming gesture and gulped before blinking and looking back into his eyes that searched your own.
“you looked a little bored dancing all the way over here, but the fun is in the middle. wanna join me?” he proposed, practically yelling to get his words in over the blasting music. “and plus, it’s our favourite song.”
‘our favourite song.’ just at the use of a simple three-word sentence, a heat stronger than the one already surrounding your body made its way up from your neck, all the way to your ears.
you nodded, accepting his invite and placing your hand in his before he smiled at you and led you to the middle of the dance floor.
he turned to face you, and you chuckled, voice wavering.
“your hand’s shaking,” he pointed out.
“a little sweaty too, i guess—sorry,” you blurted out.
“are you nervous?” he asked with utmost care in his voice, a contrast to the usual tease he was to those close to him.
you pressed your lips together before displaying a small smile and tilting your head side to side, a way of saying ‘kind of, maybe a little.’
understanding and giving you a look of empathy, he grabbed your other hand before bringing them to his shoulders.
“just follow me, okay?” he told you.
and you nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck as his met your waist.
you two then danced along to the music that made your hearts happy, and you found your nerves disappearing in an instant, forgetting any stresses that were previously on your mind as you enjoyed your time together in each other’s hold.
and whenever he wanted to change things up once in a while, being the dance talent he was, he would guide your body along with his in moves that were simpler to pull off than they looked (but maybe that was just because he was a natural when it came to this kind of thing), leading you to do turns here and there, or pulling your bodies apart and then meeting closer once again. anything he did with you on that dance floor made you two look amazing amidst enjoying your time with one another, and he just made the experience all the more worthwhile.
and whenever his moves would slow, he would take that time to dramatically sing his heart out, and you’d follow along playfully, making each other laugh.
once your favourite song ended and another immediately began to roll around, both your movements naturally slowed, and he pulled away slightly before speaking.
“thank you for the dance.”
“thank you,” you smiled softly.
he smirked, “your dancing’s not too bad.”
“i could say the same for you,” you followed with a chuckle.
“we should do this more often,” he suggested. “or maybe that’s just an excuse for me to show you more songs sometime, who knows?”
“you know, both don’t sound too bad to be honest,” you replied.
“yeah?”
“yeah.”
“cool,” he said, unable to hide his proud smile for just getting the girl he liked to do some of his favourite things with him in the future, in the form of which was already sounding like a potential date. “in the meantime, this song sounds a little too good to skip out on… care for another dance?”
he held out his hand to you for the second time that night, a smile painting his lips.
“i’d love to.”
a/n. so story time in regards to the prev a/n bc i have no love life <//33 ,,, basically at my prom one of the literal four things i remember from that night was how me and this old guy friend who i kinda liked at the time and i think he liked me too (but we drifted apart a couple years ago,, and to put this into perspective, this took place exactly one year ago) kept making eye contact throughout the whole night and created this super thick tension. ok the thing is :’> i hadn’t seen him for a whole year cuz he graduated the year before me, and we used to be pretty good friends but didn’t rlly keep in contact after not seeing each other for one whole year. and so we kept making eye contact, probably wanting to say hi, but it eventually came to the point where it would be awkward cuz it was so obvious we had both acknowledged each other’s presence for the past 30 mins !!! it was so awkward omg and jsnsjd wait hold on don’t even get me started on how we even ended up later then sitting at the same table but still not saying a word to each other djdndjd T-T and then by the time we all finally went our separate ways, i was left feeling a sense of emptiness and regret T-T ,,,,,, the tension y’all i cannot stress it enough !!!! ugh ihateitihateitihateit but anyway, switching topics while i try to erase this forbidden memory from my mind all over again,, about the drabble, i hope you guys enjoyed <3 if you did, letting me know through more than just likes (rbs, comments, asks, etc.) helps out a lot !! i rlly appreciate it, thanks for reading !!
event masterlist.
taglist 1 (taglist 2 open). @raimbows4u @sultrybaby @kpop-nct @ajayke-reads @enhacolor @enhasfever @nokacchan @yizhoutv @xiaoderrrr @soobin-chois @tyunni @shinsou-rii @liikno @softkpopplace @belle643 @nar-nia @pshchives @sunjakes @ethereal-engene @yeosayang @4ri-ki @sunoksunny @jaeyunjakesim @tnyhees @enaus @hoes4hoseok @palajae @clarakyunisageek @annoyingbitch83 @4vonly @wonswondrland @rcrystallocks @stepout-09-15 @zeraaax @enhasengene @ktttwwn @pistachiophobia @svnoofy @sweetjaemss @vatterie @mnsnts @chacottone @yeseoist @azurez @milisabunny @wonniestars @iamliacamila @rikislady @kazmura @nicholasluvbot
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(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Who's Coming Towards You? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
TUMBLR FINALLY ADDED READ MORE ON THE APPP anyway sorry for the delay I went to Portugal then got all my wisdom teeth removed AND im sick 😣🦷 Regardlesss im here and i might do a mini tarot game since I reached 400 FOLLOWRRS 😱but yeah we'll seeee, have fun wit this pac thoo 😜
1-If you're currently dating around or on dating sites, a fuckboy is coming towards you. They may not present as one, but they are. At first, you might think that this person knows what direction they're taking their life in or that they're just very driven in general. But this is just a facade that they put in order to lure girls in. They want a situationship and the don't want commitment. Even if you're not dating or looking to date, this is somebody who might try to ask you out, but it's kind of obvious that they only want kewchie. This could happen during your job, it could be a coworker or customer/client. They could try to hit on you and act like they're super deep or they genuinely want to know about you. There will be very wishy washy when it comes to their intentions, they don't like giving the straight answers.
2- Speed drive by Charli XCX. You might be in a Barbie/girlboss energy. What's coming towards you is some sort of opportunity. If you felt had you had a bunch of options you felt neutral about, youll have another one and I see you going straight for that. This one is really going to stand out to you and I see you when this opportunity is finally offered you're not gonna be hesitant any more and you're gonna be able to make up your mind. Specifically if you been waiting to hear back from somebody, you're going to hear back from them very soon, and it's going to help a lot.
3- So like the pile above clarity is coming towards you. This could be about a specific person, but I'm specifically getting a situation. There could have been some sort of drama in your life and you didn't know which side to take. There could have been a lot of stories and rumors involved. This could have been something really serious that affected you or somebody else financially. I'm getting that this has to do with somebody who's close to you or at least has some sort of influence on you directly or indirectly. You may have had to go to court, had to look up laws or contact a lawyer. But I'm seeing some sort of clarity not a final decision but just some sort of clarity. I think you might find the right lawyer for you if that's what you're supposed to specifically looking for. If not, I still feel like this heavily has to do with finances. Even if you are seeking out something romantically, maybe you want a sugar daddy, you're going to find someone who's going to help you in which you exchange some sort of money with them.
4- the number 4 could be important for you maybe you keep seeing it everywhere or you keep choosing pile 4 in pick a cards. Apply it to your situation but im predominantly gettting that someone you wanted or liked is coming toward you. I think you're still attracted to this person. For some, you could have felt dejected by this person even if they didn't outright reject you. You'll be surprised by how thoughtful they come across when they come towards you and I think they've been thinking about you for awhile. This is someone you've had a crush or attraction to for a minute. Your dreams of dating them will be reborn and may actually happen this time.
5 - HEY BIG SPENDEEEERRR the moment you walked in the joint, I could tell you were a man if distinction a real big spender.... Loveeee that scene from that movie (Sweet Charity). Okay so a few scenarios this could be somebody that presents like they have a lot of money or they could present like they're going to give you a lot of money even if they don't seem to have a lot. But I'm getting you're going to find out that they are broke very quickly and the only thing they have is dick to offer which doesn't pay bills. They probably fought for your attention and this may be somebody who glorifies struggle love. I'm getting they could actually be rich, but they're very stingy. And possibly after fighting for your attention they'll probably ghost you or just go to other people who aren't as naive. A lot of you could be sex workers and specifically getting strippers and this is just another man at the club trying to act like hes some sort of crypto mogul. If not, maybe you're on dating apps, and this is something that might happen.
6- Ooop so apparently this is my pile. I NEED A HERO I'M HOLDING ON FOR A HERO 'til the end of the night and he's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight..... Anyway this is someone who presents as a fuck boy but in reality, they're just a normal person. So I feel like this is a misconception you're going to have about them when they genuinely have good intentions. I think this person will sort come as some sort of hero in your life. This could come in the form of them giving you a financial opportunity. However, I feel like for most of you they're going to help you financially or be a co-worker that's really helpful. They could give you a really good idea for something financially. Even if you're in school, they could present some sort of job opportunity to you. I think they could also be good to you in general. But at the end of the day, you might actually end up sucking their dick fr like literally HAHAHA I don't think it will be a bad thing. Yeah, you might think that they're coming to ruin your life, but they're really not. Aka opposite of pile 5 🤭.
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Hello loves ♥️! In today’s reading we’re going to be learning about your shadow side 🧛♀️ . Specifically, I will explore the undeveloped and evolved aspects of your shadow 👀. Take a few breaths and use your intuition to pick a gif 😼!
P.S ~ I’m also going to be including keywords for both sides of your shadow. Use those keywords to gauge when you’re acting in the undeveloped or developed aspects of your shadow!
♦️Pick ~ A ~ Gif♦️
Pile 1
undeveloped
The undeveloped side of your shadow is full of provocations. When triggered you tend to provoke others whether it’s to get them angry or to do something negative. You still somehow manage to justify your actions even when the consequences are bad. This side of you is very susceptible to toxic relationships. Have relationships that don’t trigger you. Your words are like spells. You have the ability to bring your words alive. You could literally “wish evil” on someone and it would happen. Be very careful with your intentions behind your words because they are likely to manifest. Your undeveloped side could also be misunderstood and often miscommunicate.
Key words for this would be: manipulative, persuasive, cunning
evolved
The developed side of your shadow is quite beautiful! You have the ability to inspire action within others. It’s as if you can tap into others energy and know exactly how to create with them or guide them. I’m hearing part of this comes from you being a very deep listener. You might be clairaudient or telepathic. Nurturing your shadow could even open job opportunities to you such as motivational speaking, public speaking, mentorship, teacher, etc. You naturally have a very lovely voice. That’s a strength of your developed shadow side. It’s almost hypnotic in the way it catches the attention of whoever you’re talking to. People actually want to hear what you have to say but you have to the right intentions behind it!
Key words for this side would be: collaboration, co-creation, inspiring
Confirmations: 333, 111, orange/red stuffed animal, Scorpio/Capricorn/Aquarius placements, telepathy, precognition, esp, sirens/mermaids, alarms 🚨 ⏰ , sleep paralysis, gut feelings, heightened intuition, stress balls, fidget toys
Pile 2
undeveloped
Your undeveloped shadow is full of emotional turmoil. You may experience emotional manipulation while your shadow is undeveloped. Others control your emotions. It’s easy for your whole mood to be ruined with one bad interaction with a person. You’re emotions are also very intense. You might get so overwhelmed by them that you prefer to not acknowledge them, which leads to your detriment. I’m sensing you could also have social anxiety. Or you could just prefer to not be social for long periods of time. Prolonged exposure to others probably destabilizes your emotions. You could also be an empath!!!! You have great potential when it comes to connecting to earth and nature. Not only do you feel deeply you feel others deeply as well!
Key words for this side would be: temperamental, impassioned, fervent
evolved
It’s proven that pets/animals regulate human emotions. So if you’ve been thinking about getting a pet, this is your confirmation to do so! Right now is the time for you start being self aware of your emotions and reactions. Take some time to start mastering your emotions. If you’re prone to bottling up emotions, you’re being called to FEEL and acknowledge your emotions completely! This will be very healing for you. I definitely sense you have animal spirit guides. Here’s a few I’m picking up on: lion, sloth, rooster, gazelle, deer, eagle, fox, snail, fish, bunny, wolf, worm. You also could have angel guides. They want to offer you perspective and guidance throughout your journey. They can teach you how to look at the bigger picture.
Key words for this side would be: Empath, Clairsentient, Claircognizant
Confirmations: Earth/Water placements, 222, butterflies, seeing hearts, art, pet animals, dancing, nature, picnic, laying on grass, Greek mythology, kung fu panda, letter X, cloud-gazing
Pile 3
undeveloped
Your undeveloped shadow is afraid of being perceived. You might try to blend in with society in a way that also represses your true self. This side of you is afraid of being outcasted and ostracized. Ironically, you find the most comfort in those who are considered odd, different, unusual of have been shunned by society. It’s like you connect with them on a deeper level. You could’ve even been bullied when you were younger for being different than your peers. Or maybe you had friend groups that always seemed to exclude you. When you are deep in the negative aspects of your shadow you criticize others relentlessly. You might even tell self deprecating jokes about yourself.
Key words for this side would be: cynical, hypercritical, misanthropic
evolved
Your developed shadow understands how important it is to stand in your own energy, reclaim yourself and show it to the world! For example, you may dress a way that is completely opposite of how you feel / want to express. And wish you could just dress how you really want. Or you could have very alternative beliefs such as occultism, paganism, satanism, atheism, etc that you practice in secret. You have the power to transform into your authentic self and also be confident in who you are. Be who you are and you will attract people who accept and embrace you like “moths to a flame”. You have a lot of potential to become a leader in the field of your “alternative” interest whatever that may be. I’m seeing that you’re going to meet your soul tribe/family while you develop your shadow!
Key words for this side would be: unfazed, self-assured, eccentric
Confirmations: Antennae’s, satellite’s, slipping on something and falling, moths, light bulbs, hot/humid weather, Virgo/Aquarius placements, flood, soul-ties, hummingbirds, tambourines, peonies, hula hoops
Thanks so much 😽!!
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PAC (Pick-A-Candy): February's Message For You ❄🕯
Hey y'all, welcome back! Thank you so much for playing in my first tarot game. I'm so glad to have the chance to reach out to everyone for inquiries. Thank you so much for your feedback as well! I'm still reading through your responses and feel grateful for all the positivity. There have been a lot of delays throughout this month and I haven't had as much time as I'd like to be on here in January, but I'm itching to pick up the pace in February. I'm planning another game in early March, topic to be announced, so stay tuned.
I wanted to start this month with a short and sweet pick a card reading to give you advice. For anyone celebrating this time of year, may you enjoy this time of peace and recovery and maybe some really tasty snacks with hot cocoa too. Pick whatever chocolate below looks most appealing to you. ❄🕯
Pile 1: Bronze Toffee Nut
Pile 2: Silver Milk Chocolate
Pile 3: Gold Dark Almond
Pile 1: Bronze Toffee Nut
Land:Tree:Sun, King of Mechanisms: Heliacal Chronograph, 26 Duality, King of Swords, XII Hanged Man, XV Devil, 7 of Swords, 7 of Wands
Hey, you! Did you recently complete something big or reach a major milestone in your life? If so, congratulations! Your efforts are paying off, if not now then over time they will show. But first, before doing or planning anything else, you need to sit down for a little while and just… breathe. Breathe deep. Replenish your mind from harrying so much over all that you have had to, have to, or will have to do (that was a mouthful, so I can't imagine how much clutter that is in the brain! Also I channeled the word "harrying" which I never use and had to look it up lol, but the word definitely still fits). Now is not the time to push, but a time to breathe and reflect.
You're in a time of transition, and this could mean many things. It could be a move or a job transfer, or you're thinking of how to change your way of living. I'm feeling that many in this pile are still actively working towards their New Years resolutions. Some in this pile may have had a very busy year, while others here wish to shift gears and become focused on doing more, a lot more than last year. Are you trying to make up for lost time? It's only February, pile one, so you have way more time than it seems to get things straightened out or set into motion. You're not creating a time debt by using your break or time off to actually self soothe, like most people do. Your tenacity is admirable, but in terms of self development, too much push to get things done might set you back.
You must balance between resting and recovery, all while strategically planning for your next course of action. Some of you may be struggling to get organized, but making schedules and lists could help immensely, so you're not spending as much energy trying to remember everything. There are also apps that are designed to help you stay on track, giving you more time to just hang out and be. There is nothing wrong with spending this entire month on decompressing from everything you've had to do. It's not going to happen when you're working on something else. That's a distraction, not progress, to work as a way of avoiding healing. However you decide to relax, make sure it actually involves relaxation. If that means laying in bed and watching TV for the day, then that's what it means. If you relax more by doing a chore, then make it something simple to complete like folding clothes.
Don't feel guilty for taking time off, but don't let the time slip by either. Schedule "Don't-Do-Much" days and see what kind of difference it makes to your productivity and routine over time. Think of this transition as an intermission of sorts. This is your chance to get up, use the restroom, order more popcorn, text a friend, etc. before getting back to your movie. You can choose not to get up, but once the intermission has passed, the movie will not pause for you. So use this opportunity to rest with intention, knowing that when change comes to thrust you into the next phase of life, it may do so unexpectedly fast and you'll be more ready for it.
Keep your ambitions lit up, because even as you rest, those dreams are still at work. Don't think that time off means abandoning any plans or being lazy. It's a matter of decluttering your mind space so you can actually focus on the next thing better, and you can't drain the brain of all your pain if you replace worry with more worry. Life is more than a series of boxes to tick off, saying "what's next? what's next? huh? what's next? HUH??" right after each one is done. If life worked that way, sleep wouldn't be a thing, and likely neither would we, because how can anything sustain that gogogo fever forever? Protect your right to self care, and don't let anyone tell you it's wrong to take time out just for you.
Pile 2: Silver Milk Chocolate
Spiritual, 7 of Prisms: Flux Tempest, 19 Unlimited Possibilities, King of Cups Rx, 2 of Pentacles, I Magician, 9 of Cups, Page of Wands
You may feel overwhelmed right now, like a lot of changes are happening at once, or could happen imminently. Things may feel topsy-turvy, and it's a struggle just to get through the day to day with all this weighing on your mind. There could be different options to choose from or a lot of emotionally heavy decisions that could be leaving you feeling a bit straggled. It could be a decision to undergo a kind of treatment, or many job offers suddenly come to you, and rather than feeling elated for the opportunities, you're feeling anxious about what to do more than anything.
Many opportunities and risks abound, and although it isn't easy, it's important to spend some time to figure out what you wish to do. We all want to make the best choices in life, but sometimes life involves a good deal of trial and error and retrial no matter how logical and sensible we try to make things behave. A lot of important details can get swept away in the rush to resolve a conflict as quickly and easily as possible. Even when the best choice is made, things can still happen. Life can be pretty random and chaotic at times, in ways not even shuffled cards can keep up with. It's not so much the choosing, but staying committed to the choice, that can be most difficult.
It's time to go within and listen to spirit for guidance. You need some time and space in order to feel this out, not just think it through. Our mind can work all day scoping out each and every pro and con, and that's where meditation comes in. Let the answers flow towards you naturally. When you can embrace the change to come from this choice, rather than fearing it, the way will light up for you and it'll be smoother sailing from here. The seasons will change no matter how long this time out will take for you, but one spring passed means another spring will eventually come again. If it doesn't work out the first time, there will always come another.
You have a heightened ability to manifest your desired outcome this month, and you may find that some things will naturally fall into place as soon as your mind is made up and you let go. Yes, anything can happen, but that also includes good things, it even includes things you have deeply wished for. Envision the best possible outcome first and don't get caught in too many details about how it should play out. We can trick ourselves into thinking that by assuming the worst, we can prepare for the worst. Instead, prepare for the best case scenario for you and you'll be surprised at how much easier it gets to sift out and manage challenges when they do show up.
Keep your mind steady and heart focused on what you want. Remain in a space of enthusiasm for what you'd like to happen. The page of wands is very eager, it's like they have the energy of a little kid pointing to a famous performer on stage and going, "that'll be ME someday!" Not "that could be me" or "ah, if only that could be me," but "that WILL be me." Think of your motivation as a fire that must be tended to on a regular basis. No matter how small or large the flame in your heart is, it will be the light that guides you into making the best decision for yourself. Take good care of it.
Pile 3: Gold Dark Almond
Land:Animal:Moon, Macroscoria, 10 Burden, King of Cups, VIII Strength, King of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, II High Priestess
Your sensitivity and overall empathic ability is high right now. There may be an inclination to feel a heightened sense of compassion for others, particularly animals (you have a lot of animals present in your spread, and Animal:Moon talks about those kind of connections in particular). Animal companions want to help you out this month, whether on the physical or astral plane, so turn to them for healing just as they would turn to you.
Create solid psychic boundaries to protect your mind. A lot of intense psychic energy could be purged through with the Macroscoria card. I'm almost reminded of what's it like to delve through Akashic records (or as I call it the Hall of All Knowledge), but this is a more universal, primal energy coming through? The card reminds me of Earth in its early stages when it was all still molten and predominated by immense fiery tectonic activity, fundamental forces bursting from beneath. Instincts can seem basic, but they're powerful. This energy could be coming from within you most likely, but you could be picking up on others' chaotic moods as well. This isn't a force to fight, but to work in your favor. Anger for example isn't wrong, but there's a right and a wrong way of expressing anger. It's a matter of channeling it into a proper medium.
If you were drawn to pile 2, there may be a message for you there as well, as the King of Cups is in the same position. There's an emphasis on being able to stay present with others with deep compassion while staying emotionally detached. Detachment is not the same as not caring, it's a state that allows you to embody what another is feeling and give them space to feel without losing yourself in it. Try to adopt an observational approach. When you are in a state of experiencing intense emotions, we can also practice the art of "stepping aside" to observe ourselves and learn from these feelings instead of pushing them away.
You and others must remain resilient, as you could be undergoing a challenging time. Don't push the limit though. Lend a helping hand when needed, but remember that you too deserve that same compassion in return. Whatever this challenge is, there is a potential for growth to come from this. This month could bring in a special reward for you, what that is isn't clear but your good efforts won't go unnoticed. It may feel difficult now, but when things start to improve, you'll innately know, and the payoff could be rather big, or more than what you expected. You may feel that many could be leaning on you now for support, but trust that whatever support you provide will in turn be granted back to you.
Observation doesn't mean apathy or overanalysis. It's about sitting and being present with what's happening around you and within you. Mindfulness exercises could help you out a lot this February, along with writing down your nightly dreams or even making a vent journal to scribble out frustrations. Make sure your emotions don't stay bottled or contained or they could burst. Instead, check in every day and find one thing that will help vent out those emotions. Your intuition is your best friend now.
This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.
2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™
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