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cadybear420 · 1 month

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Cadybear's Reviews- My Two First Loves

Welcome to the twenty-seventh official Cadybear's Reviews! Today I'll be talking about My Two First Loves, which I have ranked on the "Rotting Flesh Tier" at 2 stars out of a possible 10. My last and only playthrough of this was back in April-June 2021.

Oh boy! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I could write a whole essay on everything wrong with this…

So I will.

To put it briefly: this story feels like it was adapted from a Wattpad story that was written by a 12-year-old whose only ever exposure to high school media and depictions of teenage sexuality was Glee, and then had serious queer and mature themes slapped onto it in order to make it seem better. Y’know, the equivalent of trying to polish a turd.

Or, heck, it’s probably PB’s attempt at ripping off “The Kissing Booth”, seeing as both have a MC in a love triangle between her childhood best friend and a bad boy named Noah, after all. Which, funnily enough, was also originally adapted from some tween’s Wattpad story. That’s about the equivalent to a dog eating some rotten food, shitting it out, then another dog finds it, eats it, and then shits it right out again. And THEN that second dog’s owner comes along to try to polish that double-toured turd.

Number 1: The LGBTQ+ tag is clearly an attempt to appease the queer players that they probably think are being whiny.

Ava’s arc about realizing she’s a lesbian who had been experiencing compulsory heterosexuality is pretty solid in a vacuum. But her being an LI was so blatantly only a last-minute decision PB made during the writing process, and it shows because Ava’s CG just uses her game sprite while Mason’s and Noah’s are fresh art.

MC starts to fall for Ava sometime around at least 30 chapters in, but we don’t get to officially pursue her as a romance option until about 70 chapters in. I get delaying her as a love interest a bit because of the whole thing with MC realizing she’s bi, but even then, there’s just so few opportunities for building any kind of relationship with her that it hardly feels authentic.

Speaking of, MC’s supposed bi awakening is completely rushed and treated with about as much value as a Family Guy cutaway gag, even outside of Ava being sidelined. As someone who realized I wasn’t straight three years ago and is still questioning if I’m bi or straight, I understand that people take different amounts of time to figure out their sexuality. But this MC does not spend any period of time figuring out her bisexuality. She basically just goes “Welp, guess I’m bi now”, and then it’s back to being indecisive as per usual except now there’s a female love interest in the mix too.

To add insult to injury, "discussions of sexuality" is placed in a "player discretion" warning, alongside "racial tensions" and "occasionally violence" to boot. How the fuck is discussion of sexuality even remotely on the same level as either of those? If they meant discussions or depictions of homophobia then maybe I could understand… but I don’t even recall seeing any depictions of homophobia in the book, so including this in the freaking warning tags is pointless at best and kind of insulting at worst.

Not to mention, plenty of other Choices books like MOTY, ILS, D&D, etc. have had discussions about sexuality/LGBTQ+ stuff before, and didn't have to warn us about it. Not even MAH, a later book which had discussions about freaking conversion therapy for Christ’s sake. Sure, some of those books did have content warnings, but they were generally vague and/or mainly warned for violence, and didn’t warn specifically for depictions of queerphobia or discussions of sexuality. Yet for some reason, MTFL feels the need to include a player discretion warning for sexuality discussions, even though it contains far less harsher queer themes.

Number 2: The portrayal of teen sexuality in this does not feel earnest.

Let me just say, I found it very jarring how this one was much more sexually charged compared to PB’s other high school books. PB is usually way more “safe” and PG-13 at most when writing high school characters. Even in books like ROD and WEH, where the characters are 18+ and do have smutty scenes, it’s clear that those books are a lot more restricted compared to the adult cast books.

I mean, with WEH, the safeness makes sense– it was meant to be a serious and tender story from the start, and it does actually follow through on those themes. But ROD feels like it could have easily been as horny with its writing as MTFL was, what with being about a studious “good girl” who goes rebellious. In fact, the story’s loading screen was pretty infamous at first for looking “steamier” than other covers and loading screens.

In actuality though, ROD had only, what, one smut scene? And despite a lot of MC’s outfits being revealing or arguably sensual, there are practically no moments where MC fawned over how “sexy” a revealing diamond outfit looked. Like, I’m pretty sure there were just little to no sexually charged scenes in general.

My point is, whatever compelled PB to make MTFL *this* sexualized is beyond me. My guess is the fact that PB called this one a story about “navigating sexuality” and thus wanted to focus more on the aspects of sexuality, but if that’s the case… hoo boy, did they do a terrible job at it.

I don’t really care about the hypersexualized writing of the teenage characters on its own, or how the characters were initially not confirmed 18+ when the earlier smut scenes were written. What I find far more important is the fact that this sort of cliche and formulaic hypersexualized writing is in a book that markets itself as being about “a young woman navigating love and sexuality for the first time”.

Teens do indeed have sex and can be all over the place with their hormones and sexuality. A lot of us have been there in some way, myself included. And there are ways to talk about that type of stuff in a manner that is silly and/or exaggerated, but still earnest and respectful. But the particular way that MTFL handles super-horny teen sexuality, specifically while claiming to be a coming-of-age story, is neither earnest nor respectful.

The way this story handles these sorts of topics is the writing equivalent to doing a surgery with Fisher-Price toy surgery tools. It’s genuinely difficult to take MC “navigating her sexuality for the first time” seriously when has to constantly blubber about how Mason and Noah are so muscular or how a diamond outfit has “naughty little thigh highs” or how she wants to do a “down and dirty” cheer routine with Ava for Mason and Noah.

That last one especially feels like the kind of stuff we’d see more in a campy chick flick that doesn’t take itself seriously. Honestly, if this was a more campy high school book with the tone of DLS or the 2023 movie “Bottoms”, it probably wouldn’t be as glaring. But in a book that markets itself as a coming-of-age story, the tone feels completely off and the whole book honestly felt like it couldn't decide what it wanted to be.

(Also, while we’re on this topic of MC’s premium outfits, I really fucking despise how MC gets so upset about wearing "mom clothes" if you choose to wear the free modest clothing instead of the revealing diamond outfit in Chapter 2. Ugh. Yes, the dad was being shitty about not letting MC dress how she likes, but all it does is it just makes you feel like shit for not wanting to dress in more revealing clothes. Stop making me feel bad for wanting to wear simple non-revealing clothing. Same goes for you, Chris Romantic Getaway story with your “the regular jerseys aren’t cute enough for girls to wear, we have to cut one up into a cleavage crop top in order to make it good for us girls to wear” bullshit.)

And it just slaps you in the face with these sexual moments too, placing them in frequently whenever it feels like it, and the amount of it that actually contributed to any coming-of-age navigating-sexuality are few and far between. Honestly, it felt like it was trying way too hard to look "mature" with how it handled sexuality (as well as some of the other stuff like them drinking alcohol). Like it maybe was trying to portray teens realistically, but it only does so at a very shallow level.

It's literally just "Look at the teens that talk about sex and like doing sexy things and having sex and doing grown-up stuff like drinking alcohol, see how MATUUURRREEE they are!" and they don't do anything more with it. It's just tacked on so they can pretend their book is a realistic story about maturing/being mature, when it fails at actually doing so.

I mean, I guess you could argue that the MC is meant to be seen as more messy and hormonal. And in that case, I could give it a pass. But, again, MC’s supposed arc of “navigating sexuality” never goes anywhere from that until the very last few chapters where you choose which LI she ends up with. It’s pretty much the same crap all throughout the book. MC doesn’t navigate sexuality, she just runs around aimlessly in it like a chicken with its head cut off.

Number 3: All the serious themes they try to have in the story are overshadowed by MC’s stupid indecisiveness plot.

I’ve already said MTFL tries way too hard to make its story seem “mature” with the trashy way it sexualizes its characters. I’ve said it feels like it doesn’t know what it wants to be. Honestly though, this just sums up MTFL’s writing in general.

MTFL has quite a handful of subplots, and I will admit, all of them are pretty compelling. You have Ava figuring out she’s lesbian, Mack dealing with gang drama, and Mason and Noah dealing with their past and Mason’s dad’s abusive behaviors. And an admittedly decent arc about MC discovering her love for photography instead of cheerleading.

And then you have MC going on about how she can’t decide between her love interests, which is just the bad apple of the bunch that ruins the rest. It just makes it very hard to take everything else seriously. You ever seen that one meme where the Power Rangers put their hands in a circle but then a Teletubbie tries to join in? It’s the writing-equivalent to that, and MC’s indecisiveness plot is the Teletubbie.

And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if MC’s indecisiveness wasn’t the main focus plot of the whole book. I want to take these other storylines seriously. I want to take this story as a whole seriously. But how can I when the main focus of the story is so god damn shallow? No matter how many "soft positive heartfelt" piano tracks and “so sad and tragic sad” piano tracks from WEH they try put over it, it doesn't change the fact that the focus is MC going on and on about being unable to choose between Mason, Noah, and Ava.

I get teens are shallow and can have shallow issues, but did we really need it to be that big of a focus of the story? Especially when the way it handles it is completely empty? Something like OG HSS was great because even though a lot of the issues the characters had were seemingly shallow and basic (such as the band fighting over which song to play), they do give a little more depth to it and reason to care about it (ie. Aiden starts to feel like a failure at music because of the band infighting). MTFL just throws MC’s indecisiveness at you for 95 chapters and expects you to take it seriously with nothing else surrounding it.

And they try to pull the twist on the title at the end where it’s all like “LI and photography, the two greatest loves of MC’s life”. Which is an interesting idea in concept, except it feels so artificial and non-earned when MC’s romance plot was spending 95 chapters being unable to decide between the LIs.

Number 4: It reuses way too much from HSS.

I know this is a less severe issue, but I just can’t get past it. Sprites, backgrounds, school colors… even plot points like the corrupt principal embezzling from the school, or MC and LI(s) being locked in a large school room (remember when HSS:CA MC and Ajay were locked in the auditorium?). Heck, even MC having lost her mom and having a photography passion connected to that, rings way too similar to one of Autumn’s arcs from the freaking HSS PRIME GAME! Oh yeah, and both of those characters have a love triangle with a golden boy and a bad boy. Holy hell.

Easily the most noticeable part is the sprites. In my playthrough, I counted 7 whole HSS sprites that were used in MTFL: Sydney became Iris, Payton became Toni, Frank became this random kid in a flashback for Mason and Noah's past, Morgan became a kid in Elijah's gang named Lucy, Lorenzo became Chad, Aiden's mom became Asian Noah's mom, Skye's dad became White Mason's dad (PB really said use that sprite for abusive dads huh). And there’s probably more, I’m sure.

And the worst offense? They even reuse the iconic bird's-eye view of Berry High in MTFL. Call me petty if you must, but that's just criminal. It's one thing to reuse and alter a bunch of the sprites, uniforms, and backgrounds from the series but to reuse another book series' iconic background like that? Honestly, it feels rather insulting. They couldn't even be arsed to change the "Go Tigers!" on the football field, that’s how little sense it makes to use that background outside of HSS. Fuck’s sake.

I know it’s kind of the norm for Choices to reuse assets throughout different series, but the fact that they do it so much here and majority of it is from HSS just rubs me the wrong way. At best, it’s jarring and lazy. And at worst, it comes off as trying way too hard to be a “more mature” version of HSS. When in reality, it makes HSS:CA’s side characters look like Citizen Kane in comparison. I mean, at least Clint and Natalie and MC stopped whinging about Rory ⅓rd of the way through the series.

At least when other high-school-setting books like ROD, WEH, and ILITW were made, they at least somewhat bothered to change up a few things and make it feel like an actually different school. They changed up the backgrounds a bit, used different school colors and uniforms, and didn’t reuse nearly as many sprites from HSS.

In MTFL, all they did was make new cheer uniforms for the non-reused sprites and remove the Berry High logos from everything HSS that they used. Yeah they made some changes, but it’s clear that they didn’t put nearly the same amount of effort into it as they did in the other high school setting books.

All it does is just make me miss HSS. Like, stop toying with my heart by piggybacking off of a better series (that has better queer rep too) so much. It’s to the point where it feels like they should have just used the time making this book to instead make a HSS senior year (Which, y’know, would be nice, especially since the sendoff we got in HSS:CA 3 was absolute flaming fucking garbage).

So… in all honesty, I don’t hate this book. But it had a lot of things that annoyed me to no end and it sure as fuck is disappointing wasted potential. It had a great opportunity to be a nice queer coming-of-age story. But instead it felt like a Kissing Booth rip-off with serious themes only hamfisted in order to make it seem more “mature”.

#choices stories you play #choices #choices game #choices stories we play fandom #choices stories we play #choices mtfl #mtfl #my two first loves #choices my two first loves

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lutiaslayton · 10 months

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Bahaha alright, alright, you win

Heads Up, Seven Up!

Rules: Post the last seven lines of your current WIP.

I was tagged for this at least three or four times by now, but never actually committed to doing it. Today's tag was from @wordsofawanderingsoul, but if memory serves I was tagged at least once by @101flavoursofweird, probably twice. So since you are so insistent... Welp, guess now's the time to play along, for a change: here's an excerpt of the WIP I have been working on for the past week!

...What? These ARE the last lines from my current WIP, I even submitted the complete chapter to my PhD directors just Monday for beta-reading! (because it most likely sucks)

Hm, I see, I see. You were expecting something fandom-related. Well, here goes nothing:

Oh wait, I didn’t actually write those. Well, I mean, yes I did write that, but I was just transcribing the official novels, so it's not like I wrote wrote those. Oops.

Uh... Sigh, I guess there is no choice, huh? Well, since the last SLS chapter dates back to April 1st, I guess I will indulge you with an excerpt from Chapter VI, The Dining Philosophers Problem. Stop reading here if you want to wait for the full chapter to be complete!

---

Unbeknownst to Hershel as he was lost in thought, Brenda studied him up and down, her irises evidently moving like a yo-yo as she evaluated the exact height of the item of her attention. “For someone so shy and discreet, it’s quite unexpected to see you with a hat like this. It looks funny—” She saw him startle as he was brought back to reality, then lower his eyes and shoulders in embarrassment when he processed her words, so she instantly corrected: “—but it suits you, Hershel, it really does!”

“It compliments your face,” Clark added with a light shrug.

Claire’s smile grew wider, as she regained some of her energy and playfulness. “Yes— This is exactly what I thought when I saw it. It just looks so perfect on your head! And I thought you needed a little something to give you a confidence boost,” she explained as she sneakily elbowed her boyfriend. He looked like he wanted to argue, but words were failing him. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the red flushing through his cheeks ended up speaking in his stead.

Clark gave a short, amused huff. “Outside of class, sure. But if it’s about the moments when you’re teaching, I don’t think you’ll need a ‘confidence boost.’”

“Well, he is a lot younger than what most expect of professors, and you can’t exactly tell me that he naturally reeks of authority,” Andrew retorted bluntly. Turning back to Hershel, he added: “The hat makes you look taller, so it will definitely help you command respect in the class. You’ll need it.”

His eyebrows arched in an embarrassed, slightly beaten up expression. “Thanks… I suppose.”

“Ah, don’t mind me, I’m just messing with you,” he immediately corrected while waving a dismissive hand. “You love explaining things, and you love having an audience. You will do great.”

This caught both his attention and confusion. “Me? An audience?” He frowned and blinked. “You make it sound like I enjoy being the centre of attention.”

“Hershel, don’t lie to yourself,” Brenda piped up with a sassy grin. “You totally have a taste for the dramatic.”

Clark crossed his arms, adorning the same expression. “One of the reasons you will make a great teacher is that you’ll keep your class at the edge of their seats. As soon as you’re about to explain a new find, you always have to act in such a cryptic way. Always keeping the suspense for as long as you can.”

His eyes were now trying to look at anything but the table. Grabbing the brim of his hat and slightly lowering it over his face ended up being quite the effective solution. “I’m— I’m not? What are you all talking about?”

“You are, Hershel,” Claire laughed softly. “And that’s another thing I love about you—you’re not even doing it on purpose. You just love telling stories, and you don’t even realise it.”

---

And since I need to play by the rules, I hereby tag @alex-r-kingston, @spyrothefox, @the-river-of-light, @magicwhiskers29, @stormflute, @furtiveseal, and whoever reading this who wants to share excerpts from their works!

Anyway I hope you don’t mind the longer post, I figured that since I had been tagged more than three times by now, I might as well do it three times in one /j

#lutiasreplies #stable like sand

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ashes-writing · 2 years

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burnin for you pt three | stranger things ; g.emerson

A/N ; I told you guys I love this idiot and I have officially kinda adopted his grumpy ass as one of my own damn it, but anyway... and I wanted to write this for him and all that jazz. Welp, here we kinda have me getting a late night idea about 'stupidest' nicknames that reader and Gareth could call each other -and of course, how to give reader at least one friend that's not hellfire / corroded coffin and a girl so she can do her girly shit and not seem so flat or tragic for me while also exploring reader's home issues and such and inserting ANGST, so here we freakin go.

I shit you not, when the idea for their nicknames came I died laughing. If you guys don't like them, oops? I guess just sub in your own chosen nickname? Look, I'm still working on making the switch from writing OC characters to doing x reader so uh.. I'm trying, lol. [ BTW, i'm gonna attempt to revisit or update the ones for Tommy and Billy, I just.. haven't thought of a way to do it yet. ]

Huuuge huge thanks for all the feedback, oh my god, y'all have been making my days so bright with the comments and the tags and the reblogs and the likes bc I dead ass did not think anybody would read anything I put out bc I am gremlin.. You have no idea how much it truly means to me and I thank you so so so so so much, mwah!

- Ashes

Pairing ; Gareth Emerson x sweet!girly!rich reader [ we're officially calling them pastels and plaid. ]

Timeline / Other Stuff to Note ; pt I | pt II pt III part IIII can be found here those can and should be read first, then this one.. first of all. Gareth has been aged up to 18 before anybody says a word. I'm putting that out there now. So there's no question about it. This is set in 86 BUT BUT.. the upside down, vecna and all the other stuff that goes along with is not a part of this, it's more of a slice of life thing. So if you're into that... NO DEATHS EITHER BTW.

Tag List ; @allelitesmut @aries-arcade @hcloangcls @heyaitsklaudia @krys-orion @musichealsscars and @scoobiessnacks are the only ones currently on my taglist. If you’d like to be on my taglist for anything I write, including Stranger Things [ here ] add yourself there.

Warnings ; Chrissy -and readers, not so great home lives and her relationship with jason are discussed here so there are some not so nice things (ie, her ED is hinted at here but not really discussed, Jason is an asshole, her mother is verbally abusive and readers parents are just plain neglectful killjoy types who alternate between never being around and purposely taking away things that make reader happy if she's not 'good enough' at them) so before I go any further, that's mentioned heavily in the beginning. It's not that graphic but it is there. Mentions of the devils lettuce + the boys doing a smoking circle after jamming in Jeff's garage, lots of internal pining and the angst that goes with it, use of nicknames/petnames (bunny and meatball, my mind at 2 am, babes i s2g) and that's it.

Other Stuff ; tag list doc || my rules - fandoms and some characters I write for || - send me things.

I do not consent to my work being reposted elsewhere or copied/reworked/rewritten and reposted here or elsewhere. You don't own this, I do. So like... don't steal my shit.

You couldn’t sleep. The house was too quiet and your mind was way too noisy. There’s a park just down the street that you’ve been going out to the swingsets to sit on nights like this. It’s normally empty because this is the gated neighborhood and most of the people in it are usually asleep, so as you make your way down dimly lit streets towards the park, you’re surprised to learn that’s not the case tonight.

Chrissy Cunningham is sitting on the jungle gym, Leaned back with all her weight on her palms, her head tilted back as she gazes at the sky. Remembering she’s one of them, you’re about to turn and make your way back up the street but she spots you and jogs over.

“Wait. Don’t go… Please?”

You eye her warily, a hand on your hip. You start to turn and just walk away anyway because looking at her only brings back the way Brook, the queen bee at your old school confronted you in front of everyone at your old school to tear you down and humiliate you and ruin everything, but you happen to see the red in Chrissy’s eyes.

You try to tell yourself she’s probably high, everybody in your old clique at the boarding school you were in before life -and shitty, neglectful parents, landed you in Hawkins in the big lonely house on the end of the street. But something about that thought doesn’t fit. Then you remember hearing her mother shouting earlier, halfway up the block.

What’s more is you heard her over your father’s true pride and joy, a top dollar home theater system. That wasn’t on low volume by any means because you were trying to drive out the tomb-like silence.

You rub the bridge of your nose and it’s what she says next that sways you into sticking around. “Please don’t go. I…I won’t annoy you and this isn’t a trick, okay? I just... I want someone to talk to right now. Please?”

You take a deep breath. “Fine.” you finally respond. The two of you make your way back over to the jungle gym she’d previously been sitting on and for about ten minutes, you’re both just sitting in complete silence.

“The freaks..” Chrissy starts and you cut her off. “They’re not freaks.” you assert calmly, giving her a warning look. “They’re my friends. I think they are, I dunno...” you go quiet and your words trail off as you look down at the manicure you’d given yourself that afternoon while watching General Hospital and babysitting the two youngest Sinclair girls. You’d done the two girls nails to match, of course.

“Sorry, it’s just…” Chrissy swallows hard, swinging bare feet around, her feet making a soft thud when the heels of them met the wood plank behind them. “That’s what everyone around here calls them. It’s a bad habit and I hate it.”

“Then don’t do it. Y’know, you do have the power to change things.” you say it with a quiet laugh and you immediately apologize. “Don’t take my advice. Trust me.” you add a few seconds later. “Because I tried to change things at the boarding school I was at before… Only ended with me getting fucked over.”

Chrissy cringes and looks at you in concern, but closer up, you’re thinking to yourself that if anyone needs a concerned look right now, it’s her. You start to ask her if she’s eaten because everything about the way her face just looks so damn tired makes you think about Elaine from your old school. Before you can stop yourself and remind yourself that Chrissy is one of them and they’re not to be trusted under any circumstance, you’ve asked the question. “Are you okay?”

“The whole neighborhood heard it.” Chrissy mumbles softly. “I thought just this once she’d be proud of me,y’know?” she’s wiping at her eyes and you tense a little because all you wanted to do when you left your house was come down and sit in silence to look up at the stars.

Try to quiet your own noisy mind and all the doubts and fears in it for just a little while. Try to stop yourself from calling Gareth at fuck all o’clock because he’s the only one you sort of trust and you just needed to hear his voice because you’re determined not to give anybody - a friend, your parents, a boy, that much of a hold on you again.

Instead of admitting that you heard it because that feels like the wrong thing to do somehow, you shrug. “I was watching some stupid show.” you mumble quietly. It’s not a complete lie, you were watching tv when it happened. You just omit the fact that you heard her mother lashing out at both her and her father over the volume level of said television show.

She looks a little relieved that maybe one person didn’t hear her mother lashing out. You manage a weak smile and repeat your earlier question because to an extent, she hasn’t fully answered it. She looks down at her bare feet and shakes her head. “I hate being me.”

And you feel that in your bones. But you don’t say anything. She laughs and it’s a quiet and almost bitter sound. “I mean, perfect boyfriend, perfect grades, perfect body… You’d think I’d be happy…Right?” she shakes her head and mutters a quiet, “Forget it.”

“No,no.” you reach out for her wrist when she goes to leave. “Finish what you were going to say. It’s not like I’m gonna sleep tonight anyway.” with a mild shrug.

“Your parents too?” she asks and the question is almost hopefully phrased as she searches your eyes. You bite your lip and shrug. “Lack thereof, actually. They won’t be back from their little business trip until December, if they even come back. According to my father, they’re in talks to merge with some other entertainment business and go in together to open some nightclub or something. They could be gone a year or something, I really don't know..” you laugh quietly.

“Wasn’t your father talking to the mayor about re-visiting the whole idea to buy out the mall?”

“Yeah, he was. Then he got this offer and decided to go with it. Mayor Kline didn’t want to negotiate, something about the current owners of the mall had a better idea.” you shrug, rolling your eyes.

“So you’re there alone?”

“There’s a cleaning lady that comes in twice a week. It’s not like it’s a big deal.” you shrug it off. It is a big deal but you’re so used to the endless parade of service people in and out and the absence of your actual parents that now you just get numb because there’s no hope left.

“We weren’t talking about me, Chrissy.” you mumble after the silence gets just a little too thick. She sighs. “I hate him. I hate him and I hate my mother. But I still love her and I want her to be proud of me just once so I do everything I can…”

You gaze at her and nod. “Listen, this is your life. Fuck them.”

She manages a nervous smile. Twists a strand of strawberry blonde around her finger. “I wish it were that easy.”

“This is gonna sound selfish but trust me.. Or don’t, whatever.” you’re swinging your feet as you look up at the moon and stars overhead. After a second or two to pause and think about how best to word it, you decide to just say it. “Has that idiot Jason Carver ever done anything good or helpful for you?” you gaze at her.

“Well, no but–”

You shake your head. “No buts. Him ‘making you popular’ or whatever bullshit you were about to say is not important, it doesn’t count.” you laugh quietly. The more you sit and talk to her on the jungle gym in the middle of the night, the more you’re confronted with just how much alike you both are.

You don’t like that, it doesn’t sit well.

This in turn, leads you to sort of think that maybe it’s time you follow the advice you’re giving her. Or try harder to.

“Okay, what about your mother? When’s the last time she actually gave a shit?”

Chrissy’s mouth opens and closes and she’s in deep thought. You shrug mildly. “Do what makes you happy. To hell with your mother definitely, Hawkins High student body and especially that piece of shit Jason Carver.”

“Why are you telling me this? I..” she trails off, laughing softly. “I thought you hated us.”

No sense in deluding the poor girl, you respond quietly, “Most of you, yeah. I wouldn’t spare a drop of pee if most of you were on fire..” you gaze at her thoughtfully. “Maybe you’re different. Maybe it’s not too late for you.” and as you say this, you focus all your energy into it because if it’s not too late for her this means it’s not too late for you.

She manages a weak smile. “Maybe.”

“What does make you happy, hm?”

Chrissy giggles quietly. “There’s this boy.” she starts and instantly, you get the feeling you might possibly not want to hear the rest because if it all centers around a boy -because right now, god that sounds just way too close to home and you’re definitely not in the state of mind to deal with that just yet, it’s probably gonna be an awful disaster for her.

“No, I meant like.. Hobbies?” you clarify what you meant.

“Cheerleading. That really does make me happy. It’s the only thing that keeps me hanging on.”

Like your ballet. That your parents took you out of to put you in boarding school so they could jet around god knows where and do anything but be parents. Your mother claims to this day that she was doing it for your own good because you weren’t good enough and she was saving you from pain later, but you honestly didn’t care if you were any good or not, you just loved to dance. You loved the structure and the discipline because it was something nobody gave a shit about you enough to give to you at home.

Besides the one nanny you had when you were 10, the only one who acted like a goddamn parent and didn’t treat you like you were just some kind of little prop when needed. But they took her too because your father said attachments were something that would make you weak.

You nod and you smile a little. Before you stop yourself with the reminder that again, she is one of them and therefore, not to be trusted even a little, you mumble quietly, “Ballet.” and you give a shrug. “I was in classes but my mother decided I wasn’t doing well enough at it to warrant going anymore.”

Chrissy swallows hard and she doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. You mumble an apology because there you go again, making it awkward. “Sorry, I… That should’ve stayed in my head.”

“No, no.. It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

And she doesn’t.

Something she’s thinking about makes her smile just a little and you bite your lip, looking at her. “Okay, out with it. What’s his name?” you decide that maybe it's safer to stick to boys or whatever else you can both think of because this conversation is getting just a shade too heavy right now for you but you want to talk to her, you need to talk to someone.

“Eddie Munson.” Chrissy answers in an almost dreamy and shy tone as she laughs softly. "It feels so good to just say it."

You gape for a second and then you laugh quietly. “Wow. I..” you shake your head, dragging your hand through damp hair, “I was not expecting that.”

“You can’t say anything, alright? Please?” she begs.

You’d never say a word, one, because you dunno if she’s trustworthy or not just yet and two, you know how that feels. To trust somebody with something and then they take it and use it against you somehow, make a total mess of everything.

You rub your forehead.

This entire conversation has been one eye-opener after another.

Some necessary and some, like Chrissy’s confession about having a crush on Eddie Munson, totally shocking. But you feel a little lighter somehow. You come away with the desire to stop letting life run over you repeatedly. To stand up for yourself more. With everyone. To stop giving a shit about anyone who doesn’t give a shit about you.

“I won’t.” you manage a smile and hold up your pinkie despite it being the height of childish. She links her pinkie through and you both laugh quietly.

“Y’know..” you’re not even sure why you’re suggesting it, maybe it’s to save her from Jason Carver turning into a worse man later in life and her being trapped, maybe it’s just for shits and giggles because you cannot, for the life of you picture Eddie, an actual golden retriever idiot, - the thought comes with all the friendly affection you can muster, of course, with her.

“Yeah?”

“Eddie’s a way better person than Jason. Jason’s only going to get worse.”

Chrissy nods. The look in her eyes tells you that this isn’t something she hasn’t thought about a thousand times already. You shrug and lean back against the metal pull bar beside the top of the slide behind you so that you’re actually facing her completely. You laugh a little. “I need to take some of my own advice.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.. that whole fuck them speech? It was aimed at me too.” you admit, going quiet to stare down at the cracks in the wood beneath you. Chrissy laughs softly. “So do it.”

“You first.” you deadpan, sticking out your tongue.

“Okay, what if we both do it?”

“Do you think they’d be able to handle both of us just lighting a match and watching everything and everyone who didn't care enough and we no longer care about burn though?” you ask quietly, kicking your feet again as you admit in a quiet whisper, “Because I’ve got so much anger sometimes I can’t sleep.”

“I know what you mean. Mine isn’t… It’s more pain than anger.”

“Pain turns into anger, you know that, right? But the whole numb thing, that comes first most of the time. Or that’s how it worked for me.”

“Yeah.”

Both of you go quiet again and then she looks at you. “What’s it like?”

“Hm?” you glance up at her.

“Dating Gareth Emerson?”

You laugh softly.

“We’re..” you trail off and lean your head back against the wooden post. “He’s just my friend.”

“But you wish there was more going on… Right?”

You shrug. “A little yes, a little bit I’m too scared to even think about it. I’m a fucking mess, okay? Just like.. Trust me.”

“You don’t seem that bad.”

“Thank you.” you mumble.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Chrissy is poking the bear because she doesn’t understand why you wouldn’t just tell him. She always sees you two around school. And everybody thinks you’re dating him, especially after the brawl that happened a week or two back between him and Mason Allen. A brawl that Mason Allen hasn’t quite gotten over just yet. The thought reminds her that she was going to warn you to warn Gareth and his friends to watch their backs, so she butts in to say so.

“Hey, you might want to warn Gareth.. And his friends. Mason’s furious because Gareth kicked his butt.”

“Oh he is, huh?” you muse, glancing at her. “Is he planning something?”

“Just says that when he catches him alone, he’s going to get him back.”

You scoff. “Yeah, like hell that’s going to happen. I won’t let it.” you assert.

But really, can you stop it? You weren’t brave enough to stand up for yourself thus creating the mess in the first place. Even as the thought hits you, you know that you’re at least going to try. Whatever it takes. Because you’re not going to let Gareth get dragged into something you should’ve been brave enough to handle on your own.

“I’ll warn him later.” you mumble to yourself. Chrissy circles back to her original question, asking again why you don’t just tell Gareth how you feel. You laugh softly. “You first, sweets. I happen to know Munson would be fuckin thrilled. He’s always watching you.” you give her a slightly warmer grin as you say it.

Chrissy nods and takes a deep breath or two. “It’s not that easy.”

“My point exactly.”

“I thought you were dating Gareth, I mean.. He calls you bunny. And you’re always with him. You’re both always kind of touching each other?” Chrissy points out quietly. You laugh again. “I have not the first clue where Gareth came up with that nickname. I just told him he could call me literally anything but my name because I hate it so much and then he started calling me bunny.” you shrug, laughing again. “Knowing him, it probably has to do with me eating vegetables and fruit. Something off the wall like that.”

“What do you call him?” Chrissy giggles as she asks the question, smiling at you all soft and serene.

“Never to his face and this doesn’t leave us, got it?” you look at her and take a deep breath before bursting into laughter. “Pretty boy. I uh.. Had a real interesting dream a few nights ago when I got a little crazy and raided my mom’s wine and I’m pretty sure I called him daddy a thousand times during that.. But seriously,” you’re staring at your pale pink toenails as you swing your feet back and forth, “I call him meatball most of the time. Because he’s stronger than he looks, meatballs are kind of a comfort food for me and like… I dunno where I was going with that. I called him tiger once and his face went so fucking red, it was the cutest thing…” you double over, laughing at your sap and stupidity.

You cringe a little. “That was way too much information.”

“No, it’s okay. This is nice. Can we?” she fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater while looking down, “Can we do this again sometime? Can I talk to you and stuff at school?”

You laugh and shrug. You don’t expect her to follow through on the talking at school thing, not even slightly, but you smile and nod. “Yeah. Sure. Why not?” you mumble, wondering to yourself the whole time if you’re going to regret it in the long run.

Something tells you maybe this time you won’t.

You haven’t regretted a single second since you made the decision not to get sucked right back in with the type of people you used to be friends with and be like, to an extent.

Chrissy grins brightly at you. You manage a slightly smaller bright grin. “Hey, if you ever need somewhere to go, I’m at the end of the street. The big blue house.” you point out your house to her and she nods. “I’ll probably take you up on that a lot.”

– ( jeff’s garage )

The heavy haze hung in the air and Jeff fanned in front of his face a little as he passes the joint to Grant. Grant took a hit and passes it to Eddie.

Eddie nudges Gareth and Gareth blinks.

“Okay, meatball. Focus, idiot.” Jeff laughs out.

Gareth gives him a dirty look and flips him off. “Fuck off, Jeff.”

“What? I can’t call you that but she can? I thought she wasn’t your girl… Meatball.” Jeff scoots himself away from the circle and lays on the cement slab floor laughing his ass off.

“Of all the nicknames. She picks that one.”Gareth shakes his head, laughing even though sometimes, it is a little annoying. But to be fair, you only started calling him meatball when he started calling you bunny.

And now, it’s become a habit.

“Pretty sure she’ll say the same thing, you call her bunny.” Eddie points it out and this prompts the rest of the little circle to glance at Gareth.

Gareth’s face is on fire and he gives Eddie a death glare. “Dickhole.”

“What? I heard you earlier.” Eddie shrugs.

“Of everything you could call her, man.. Bunny? Seriously?” Jeff questions.

“Why bunny?” Grant asks quietly as he fixes his gaze on Gareth, waiting on an answer.

Gareth laughs and shakes his head, taking a hit of the joint before passing it on to Jeff. He exhales and at first, he tries to just shrug it off without answering.

“You know the rule. Spit it out.” Eddie says it so sternly and with such a shit-eating grin at the same time that they all burst out laughing. “This is the circle, Gare. No secrets.”

“Fuckers.” Gareth grumbles, irritated. “Fine. If any of you says a word, I swear to Ozzy..” he trails off and grins, kicking his sneakers together as he leans back, propping on his hands to gaze up at the ceiling. “It’s that little nose wrinkle, okay? It’s.. It’s so fucking cute and it reminds me of that rabbit my older sister Sarah had. And she’s always kicking her foot against the desk.”

Jeff is laughing harder, so hard that he takes a hit and it nearly doubles him over because he can’t stop laughing and he inhales and nearly chokes himself down on the smoke in the process. “Say what now?” he looks at Gareth.

Gareth shrugs and cringes as he adds in a quieter tone, “And she’s shorter than me, there’s that. Look, she’s small and cute… Like a rabbit. If you assholes say one word, I’m gonna kick your asses, got it?”

“Okay.”

“Fine.”

“Scout’s dishonor.” Eddie taunts, smirking. Gareth leans out to give him a lazy shove. “Especially not you, asshole.” Gareth warns.

“Aw, he really is in love.”

“I’m not, damn it. I’m not.” Gareth insists, glaring at his friends even though he knows it’s a lie deep down. And even though it’s been weeks now and she hasn’t proven his original assumption right yet, he’s still living every single second that he knows you with the worry that eventually, the other shoe is going to drop.

Only now, he’s gone and fucked up, truly. He’s too attached now. So when -not if, because he’s convinced that this is too good to be true and any day now, he’ll wake up and it’ll have been a dream or a figment of his imagination, something, the bad thing does happen, it’s going to crush the guy.

The more he tries to fight it off, the deeper he winds up falling. It’s exciting, it’s terrifying and it’s frustrating as hell, especially lately, with the little nicknames and the way he can’t stop himself from touching you all the damn time.

“Just fucking do something, Gare. If you don’t, it’s going to drive you crazy and you will explode.” Jeff’s outburst has Grant and Eddie nodding in agreement. “The tension’s so fucking thick you’re kind of giving us all blue balls, idiot. Any second now,” Eddie wags his finger at Gareth with a smug look on his face, “You will explode.”

“I will not. It’ll be fine. Look, maybe being her friend is enough, man.”

“Bullshit.” Grant coughs but doesn’t bother covering the word as he does it.

“Yeah, he’s full of shit.” Jeff agrees, laughing as he shakes his head. “You’re full of shit.”

“That’s the biggest load of horse shit.” Eddie exclaims.

“Fuck all of you, alright? Why aren’t we talking about Munson making ga-ga eyes at a certain cheerleader, huh?” Gareth smirks when Eddie flips him off and he moves away from the circle, laughing. “Doesn’t feel so fucking great, does it?” he asks, folding his arms.

“Your situation and mine are totally different, shithead.” Eddie answers, going quiet. “Y’know I can’t tell her anything. She’s one of them.”

“And any day now, my girl could be too, idiot.” Gareth points out quietly.

Jeff shakes his head. “If you were any more stubborn you’d be a goddamn brick wall, Emerson. If she was going anywhere, she’d have done it at least the third or fourth day she was here. No… she’s always with you, with us, dumb fucker. Wake up.”

“I can’t with him, I really just can’t. Says all that and calls her his girl. Makes no sense.” Eddie mumbles, shaking his head too.

“You’re blind and an idiot, Emerson. And I mean that with all the care in the world.” Grant muses, taking a sip of a soda he only just remembers that he’d grabbed from Jeff’s kitchen earlier.

“As I said just a second ago, fuck all of you.” Gareth flips off his friends as he stands. “I’ll see you assholes tomorrow. Gotta get home.”

And as he’s leaving, his friends' opinions just won’t get out of his head. No amount of shoving them down will help, either because he’s starting to realize, even now, that they’re all right. Sooner or later -probably sooner, just being your friend isn’t going to be enough. It’s already starting, truth be told.

But the poor guy has not the first clue what to do to move things one way or another.

#gareth emerson #gareth emerson imagine #gareth emerson fanfiction #gareth emerson fanfic #gareth the great #gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson x fem!reader #gareth emerson x reader fanfiction #gareth emerson x fem!reader fanfiction #/// read the warnings on the top of the post #// i still fucking cant with myself and the nicknames.#// if you're wondering writer totally was not watching a pam and tommy series tribute vid when it struck.#// no no not i never.

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phantomram-b00 · 8 months

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Hey so remember the Shunk post? Welp. Guess what, I’m feeling angsty, and why not. I’m going to expand it in a form of a fanfic (well one-shot ish. So here it is! Keep in mind. I’m open to criticism ^^). For those who haven’t read it and would want to read this instead, this is something inspired by Amphibia season final for season 2. So spoilers for both Amphibia and Good omens season 2 in that order. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya. So hope you enjoy! And I put a song at the bottom to match the energy 🤭.

For Everything…

Tag: Angst, Whump?, Ineffable Husband, Hurt Aziraphale, Hurt Crowley, Muriel is their unofficial official adopted child, Post S2, Metatron, I present you angst for your souls, Open ending, Amphibia inspired, This author was feeling silly, violence.

Trigger warning: blood, mild violence, and strong language.

Rating: This is going to PG-13 territory.

Heaven. The one place all mortals raved about since the dawn of time, Even Belinda Carlisle can tell you that “Heaven is a place on earth”. Oh what a beloved place; in their rose-colored view. Right now, what was once beloved place is decorated by blood and hellfire blazing the place that can rival the severity of the bookshop fire. Yet, the fight still commences while Crowley and Aziraphale hide behind the pillars to get to the elevators without going into the crossfire. Meanwhile Muriel tries to sneak their way the best way possible without provoking any opponent. They stop hiding as seeing no one’s on sight yet the elevator was still closed. It most likely been miracle blocked so no one deserts.

“Crap.” Crowley spoke finally gritting his teeth. “Where is Muriel, I specifically told them to report using these walkie-talkies bull crap.”

Aziraphale open his mouth wanting to make a joke. But knowing where they stand, he bite his tongue.

“Crowley, I’m sure they’re alright.” Aziraphale spoke with a reassuring smile.

“You know. This could’ve been avoided if…” Crowley shook his head. “N-nevermind Ange-Aziraphale.”

He frowned.

“No. Say what you going to say.” Azirpahale said looking at him. “Please.”

Crowley looking away refusing to look at the hazel blue eye. He took a deep breath.

“You’re timing is fucking horrible. But fine, you want me to finish my damn sentence? Alright, this could’ve been avoided if you haven’t left Supreme Archangel Aziraphale.” Crowley hissed, even with the glasses on Aziraphale still feel the daggers shooting at him. “But no, because you decided to just say fuck all those six thousand years and choose this place.”

“Crowley I…”

“No! I’m not done!” Aziraphale quickly silence himself. “You made that choice so easily, like it never matter to you at all. You decided to just throw it all away. You…oh! You rather forgive me than… ahh! Aziraphale do you realize just how fucked up that is?”

“I…Crowley. A-all I wanted was to make this a better place. I-I didn’t want this to happen anymore than you do! I..I just wanted to fix things.”

“Oh Aziraphale, nothing last forever.” he coldly remarked. “And you can’t fix what was already damaged so many time.”

Aziraphale’s eyes became glossy, he’s choking back the tears.

“Crowley…”

“Look. I could say I’ve always admired your need to wanting to fix things. But Aziraphale, when will you learn that your selfless will get you hurt?” Crowley said wiping tears that is steaming down his face. “Azirpahale..I…just wished you’d open your eyes.”

Aziraphale wanted to speak but he wiped his tears as well. He look up at Crowley again.

“Crowley. I wish all of this never happened.. I wish I never hurt you in this way. I wish they’d left us alone. But most of all, I wish I never forgave you.” Azirpahale said emphasizing on forgave. “I just wanted to try.. but at the same time, I never wanted to leave you.”

“Azira-“

“Look, I know full well that I owe you between an apology dance and or an alcoholic breakfast or whatever it is as soon as we touch earth or stop this apocalyptic war going on. Crowley, I never would’ve came here if Metatron said you can come along too. Yet I still went, and you can never forgive me for that. I know it isn’t an easy street at all; and frankly you have all obligation to be mad at me for the stunt I’ve pulled. Oh Crowley, my worse offense it never considered you and-“ he failed holding back his tears. “I never meant to say I forgive you. I wanted to say I l-“

Without a thought, Crowley pulled Aziraphale in a hug abandoning his glasses as they both tearfully cried. He hugged back hesitantly.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt an-“

“Crowley!” Muriel said using that walkie-talkie which cause the pair to immediately separate. Crowley cleared his throat and pulled out his walkie-talkie while aziraphale waits patiently.

“Muriel I told you my code name is Anthony.” He spoke rolling his eyes.

“Sorry! I got excited. I just wanted to say that I finally find that pesky Miracle blocker. Sneaky bastards am I right?” Muriel spoke.

“Language-“ Azirpahale chimed in which against Crowley’s attempt couldn’t help but chuckled. He missed this.

“Oh ‘ello Azirpahale! But yeah I should be coming up!” Muriel said. “Just d-“

An angel came and tackled Crowley to the ground causing the walkie-talkie to drop and break. Aziraphale try to get the angel off of him but the angel punches him square in the face causing aziraphale to hold his bloodied nose.

“Traitors! You two will reap what you have sow for trying to stop the ineffable!” The angel sneered as they raise their sword at Crowley to try to pierce his heart but he was able to grip their arm to restraint them.

“Oh right, so sorry we actually care about the bloody world and aren’t as bloody war hungry like you lot!” Crowley mocked as Azirpahale wrapped his arms around the angel’s neck to get them off giving Crowley time to get back up. Crowley notice that the angel dropped their sword so actively pick it up and piece it through the angels chest.

“You…bastards-“ the angel weakly spoke as Aziraphale let them go. dropping to the ground as blood spill from their chest.

“Crap, they’re coming this way, Crowley, give me the sword I’ll try-“

“No. Aziraphale, I’m not having you defend yourself alone. Not this time.”

“We seriously need to work on our communication skills. Now I know what Muriel was talking about mentioning it, I was going to say give the sword to me so I can defend you. I’m not gonna stay another minute of this place.”

“Oh. Right. That can work too Azirpahale.” Crowley said promptly giving the sword to Azirpahale. “Wait a minute, why can’t I have the sword then?”

“Because I know you can handle it. You always do Crowley.” Azirpahale said with a smile.

“..Thanks Aziraphale.” He said trying hard to not show he was smiling but of course failed.

Soon they heard footsteps which prompt them to start running towards the elevator; when the angel came they tackled them and did their effort to prevent them but with each swing from the sword and Crowley’s powers it made their getaway more smoothly.

Ding!

They look and see the elevator and there comes Muriel waving. But look at the scene as they open their eyes and actively tries to press open to keep it open as Crowley and Aziraphale ran towards it like it was the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

An angel almost tried to grab Crowley but Aziraphale swung his sword as the angel did as well causing their sword to clash together.

“Crowley go! I’ll be right there!”

Crowley hesitated but went towards the elevator. He takes the turn to press the open button as Muriel stand back.

“Wait but we can’t abandon him!?” Muriel yelled shaking.

“We’re not kiddo! Aziraphale!” Crowley yelled towards Muriel and then to Aziraphale as he still is in a battle.

Muriel look intensely seeing Aziraphale fight off the angel, admittedly, the angel did get a good scratch at Aziraphale on his arms and face but Aziraphale swiftly prevail over the angel with their reflex and jabs from the sword. Crowley’s cheek grew redder than his own hair seeing this battle, he’ve seen him fight before but he can’t help but feel admiration toward the fact Aziraphale can in his own word, “be a badass”. He shake his head as Aziraphale finally finished with the final bow to the angel.

“Aziraphale! Would you hurry up?!” Crowley yelled as Muriel hold his arm frighten. But is gripping onto the hope.

“I’m co-“

Shunk!

Muriel shrieks holding their mouth. Crowley eyes widen as he was struck with profound horror. Aziraphale cough up blood for a moment as he slowly look down to see a familiar sword piercing through his chest. He notice the flames anywhere. No…

Even as his vision became to blur he look at the corner of his eyes. His eyes was stunned when seeing Metatron holding the handling of what was once Aziraphale’s sword.

“Now look you’ve made me do.” Metatron said showing no ounce of regret.

Aziraphale look back, he can feel he was going numb, his eyes was blurry so he can’t see the crying Muriel and Crowley’s yellow serpent eyes shedding tears.

“C-Crowley..” he choked up with the strength’s mustering up. “I’m sorry…for everything.”

Aziraphale’s arm shakes as he raise it up, Crowley recognizing what he was doing.

“Angel n-no don’t you dare! Don’t pull this shit now!” Crowley cried out. What kill him more was aziraphale smiling, for what? To reassure thing was still okay? Why the blood hell must he smile?

Aziraphale mouthed something before-

Snap!

Just as he dropped to the floor, the elevator was forcibly closing despite Crowley trying desperate to open them back up yelling his name. Atlas the elevator closed and the button for the ground floor glowed causing the elevator to go down.

“No. No. No.” was all Muriel can voiced trying to press the H button repeatedly but to no avail. “Crowley I’m..”

Muriel look as they were ready to apologize, but they were at a lost of word looking at Crowley. they’ve never saw Crowley smoking this badly before.

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asukaskerian · 1 month

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Fifteen Questions for Fifteen Friends

Tagged by @edenfalling

are you named after anyone? nope, my name is all fresh and just for me. i mean, it's not unique or anything. alas alas, my middle brother's first name, while so mundane on its own that he always had 2 or more kids with the same name in his class growing up, combines with mine to make up the name of a well known french singer. NO we were not named after him. NOPE. you kids can stop snickering now.

little bro has a much cooler name. we are not jealous, for the record.

when was the last time you cried? yesterday. svsss-based angst is always immaculate and torturous.

do you have kids? no and i never will. don't want any AND i would be really bad at it. also tbh i'm 41 now so... yeah nah XD

what sports do you play/have played? parents tried to make me do volleyball as a kid but i kept hiding in the equipment room so they gave up. nowadays i go to the gym to torture myself on the machines but that's because my back will lock up forever if i don't entertain it. i have vague dreams of one day being a proper dwarf lady... hm.

do you use sarcasm? so much that i have to consciously stop myself. when i was in my twenties i got into the habit of being super cutting and mocking because it made me feel smarter and protected, but all it really did was make me mean.

what is the first thing you notice about people? whether their clothes cut and color flatter them. which is weird cause i don't give a shit what i'm wearing. i think it's all the observation on shapes and stuff i did in order to draw good, back when i still drew, plus a healthy heaping of "if i were fashionable enough to look like i belong people would not notice i don't". welp.

what's your eye colour? blue!

scary movies or happy endings? happy endings ;_; i don't like jumpscares either. nehhhhh.

any talents? writing, drawing. sense of observation and critical sense, i guess? kindness is not a talent so much as something to deliberately work on.

where were you born? lyon, france!

what are your hobbies? writing, reading fanfic by the metric fuckton. /boring :p

do you have any pets? not anymore. we used to have dogs and i had rabbits at one point but now we have wooden floors and my parents are too old and i'm too out of shape to run after a german shepherd and we don't like anything smaller XD;

how tall are you? ... officially 1m50 because i looked sad at the agent making my first national ID card but probably 48. ... which is. uh. 4 feet 10 inches? T^T

favourite subject in school? eh... literature? Honestly i barely listened in class, i spent all my time drawing.

dream job? i do not dream of jobs. rich heiress sounds cool and so does benevolent hermity benefactress. i do want to sell my books if i ever manage to finish one but i don't want it to be a job. it's already hard enough.

i tag... HMMMMMM.

@adiduck @fattyskeleton @loving-that-officey-feel @manyblinkinglights @rollerskatinglizard @codedredalert @elanorpam and whoever else wants to play.

#real life #silliness

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happysmilebtr · 1 year

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COLOURING BEFORE & AFTER TAG:

tagged by the lovely, kick butt and awesome sauce content maker @digitalgirls (thank you very much for the tag!) and another lovely mutual but for the life of me my peanut brain forgot who it was so thank you also to you too if you see this!

tagging (only if you want too!): @jinniebit @snug-gyu @soonhoonsol @woozification @seokmins @injunnies @chogiwapadada @jeonwonwoo

welp here you go guys! my poopy gif coloring lol. i haven’t giffed much as i just started 2ish years ago now(?) and i am now working a full time job so alas, i don’t have much to really show improvement but i do feel proud with some of my colorings and here are my top 5 (plus bonus two in the read more section hehe) i guess my coloring is more so with making things brighter if that makes sense? keeping things natural but bumping up the vibrance as you can see in certain gifs like the lights one for example. i do feel content with my giffing, granted the quality could be better but that is due to me using ezgif as a converter for making gifs on photopea (i know i can use vs but vs SCARES me like everyone that uses it? you guys are officially badass like gandalf in my books! i bow down to you all lol)

if anyone wants to hear more in depth thoughts of my coloring for each gif plus see the bonus ones that are too tiny to show in a normal gifset, readbelow but if not thank you for checking this out!

gif one: starting off with my proudest one of the bunch, this gif is from my baekhyun countdown series which you can view right here oh my when i say i am proud of this, i am SO proud of this. first of, this short video is pale, REALLY pale. more pale than casper the ghost lkdsalkjda so i struggled with making sure to not overdo the coloring where baekhyun is weirdly colored but making sure it’s no longer so bright ya know? with what i work with, i think i did a good job? it was during this series i started using a gradient map as well for my coloring and ya’ll....use gradient maps lol. i would have used them earlier but i had no clue how to well, use them as silly as that sounds! i found a tutorial on how someone used them and since then i use that. usually use brown to grey to make things neutral but also make sure skinetone is as natural as possible but of course that isn’t always the case, this is something i struggle with as you can probably tell so i am trying my best! overall, a very pretty gif coloring i think! simple but pretty!

gif two: ah yes....my og fav hehe. this was during the 17 days of 17 event that happened last year almost now and this was for of course, scoups day and i am proud of it still! granted, i would do things a tiny bit more differently even though this is just what, a 6ish months difference in giffing from the first gif? regardless, this one is my favorite and all because of one silly thing...the color changed background. as you can tell in the circle, the original was purple with the lightning background and i actually did save my coloring originally with this background still! however, i was playing around with coloring and by accident, just out of curiosity, i changed the color of the background and when i say i was super shocked...i was lol. in a good way of course! don’t ask me why but at the time, i just loved this small change. i thought it was so cool and it made me so excited so i kept it. could i have kept the purple? for sure, it bothered me to this day if i made the right call because a mutual of mine said the purple looked better against scoups skintone which i agree so it eats me to this day lol. (no ill feelings to my mutual! i liked having the feedback because sometimes that initial excitment sometimes isn’t the right call and i like being told the truth!)

gif three: another of my baekhyun gif series which again.....WHY DOES SM OR WHOEVER EDITS THESE VIDEOS, MAKE THINGS SO PALE!?!??! like bro....this one baekhyun IS truly casper the ghost dsaldasl. i managed to save him in this gif set but when i kept doing double takes myself when giffing, i always went “wait, is THIS how it originally looks!?” like i was so surprised with the coloring difference

gif four: featuring my queen, lights. the only non kpop gif lol. she is the reason i got into gif making actually! my first ever gifset is for her mv “prodigal daughter” (which yes you should all take a listen too just saying) so you can thank her for my gif making! this was from her i think 3rd mv, “in my head” which you can check out the gifset here! this is a perfect example of my coloring i think, the making things vibrant but keeping it somewhat natural and for me giffing this without gradient map i feel dang proud lol. it was either this gif or another one of lights but i went with this one instead to showcase i guess my usual coloring ya know?

gif five: and lastly a baekhyun gif once again. this one is originally meant to be with a pink coloring overlay and font as seen in the original gifset but i kept the original coloring because i liked how it turned out overall! i decided to switch things up with my editing by using unsharp mask and instead of using 30% i did 135% and kinda liked the result of it! i do admit, if you are someone like me and are stuck using ezgif, make SURE the file is super hq! while this does look nice, imo it looks better with good video quality when making the gifs as i did this setting for the last 4 gifsets of the baekhyun countdown and for ones like this one, it looks nice but some weren’t very high and you can tell it looks a bit meh. this is i think my current giffing editing and i feel proud of it! this one is very natural in coloring but everything is more “pop” if that makes sense, things are more defined than smooth, the neutral colors look lively, etc.

BONUS:

you guys thought i would leave out these ones? oh no lol. so these two gfs are from my txt “good boy gone bad” mv and seventeen “hot” mv gifsets i made! i remember seeing this gifset style being HUGE back in late 2017ish up until 2019 if memory is correct by an old school content maker. i saw they had a tutorial on how they did their sets back then so i followed it and made my own for these mv’s and man i loved doing them. not only was the setting up the scenes to use was fun but finding the right font that fit the mv vibe was fun and of course, the coloring. for txt’s, there was alot of greens as you can see here and while i like me green, i wasn’t happy with just how dark and swampy it looked lol. i get it was the aesthetic in general but i wantted it to pop alot and thus the blue/purple tones in the overall gifset which i think looks really beautiful! then for hot, i didn’t plan on the pink coloring lol. i originally wanted to do the usuals, brighten and and make the colors pop out but by moving around to color the orange colors, it turned more pink so i went with it (you can see the difference towards the end of gif of how different the pink and orange are!) still my proudest coloring on both and still am proud for the “hot” as that was originally my top set with notes until somehow baekhyun and his doggo took over xD

#fun tag thingy #digitalgirls #jeonwonwoo #seokmins #injunnies #chogiwapadada #snug-gyu #soonhoonsol #woozification #jinniebit #if anyone of ya'll read that entire essay under the readmore...i am kissing your forehead

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justbabyme · 1 year

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I posted 6,787 times in 2022

That's 4,412 more posts than 2021!

24 posts created (0%)

6,763 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mrslittletall

@tsuki-chibi

@thedovetailinginterests

@nsfwitchy

@witchy--mama

I tagged 1,906 of my posts in 2022

#grabby hands - 87 posts

#yes! - 17 posts

#sigh... - 14 posts

#aesthetic-y - 13 posts

#this! - 10 posts

#mood... - 9 posts

#oh... - 7 posts

#britain - 7 posts

#wow... - 6 posts

#yeah... - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#my plots will frequently get stuck in long delay because the characters just have to have this conversation or do this cute thing together!

My Top Posts in 2022:

Hey I saw your tags on the "what do you do outside of tumblr" and I was wondering if you have any tips about getting involved in a field like that. Mostly for the same reasons as you I assume--I have many hobbies that I want to pursue outside of a job and I find repetitive, mundane work strangely satisfying. Thanks!

Oh! Um, I've never really thought about it - admin work normally isn't too hard to find, most companies will always need someone to file things and sort the spreadsheets! I guess taking classes on admin stuff is always a good idea, most companies need you to know how to use the Microsoft packages - word, excel, that sort of thing - and it looks good on your CV/resume! Other than that, most job websites will have a list of positions that are near you, you don't want to spend too much time on travel!

Thanks for the ask, I hope you find something good!

2 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

I was tagged by @mrslittletall! Thanks for the tag!

Whats your top 5 songs right now?

I'll have to restrict myself otherwise this would be all Amelie songs because new obsession go brrrrr, but I can at least add the one I go back to most often!

youtube

See the full post

3 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

I was tagged by @mrslittletall. Thank you!

Put your favorite playlist on shuffle and post the first 10 songs from it.

I don't really listen to playlists, but I'll use the one I made for my mum since I listen to it too sometimes!

1: The Phantom Of The Opera - Original London Cast Recording (starting out with a VERY specific theatre one, thanks playlist...)

2: Candy - Robbie Williams

3: Man! I Feel Like A Woman - Shania Twain (this song is a bop, fight me!)

4: Up - Olly Murs ft Demi Lovato

5: Shake It Off - Taylor Swift

6: Walking On Sunshine - Katrina And The Waves

7: Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepson

8: Love Really Hurts Without You - Billy Ocean

9: Last Friday Night - Katy Perry

10: Domino - Jessie J

Welp, now that I'm done thoroughly exposing my HORRIFIC taste in music, I'll tag the usuals - @nsfwitchy, @chocolate-otaku and @scrumptiouslyholypatrol! Have fun!

4 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

New PFP, same me!

4 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

OK, I cannot believe I actually have to say this, but I'm gonna put this out as an official warning:

If you're a TERF, I will block you. I check my follower notifications, and if your blog is full of anti-trans rhetoric, I'm going to quietly hit that block button. Anyone else, I really don't care what's on your blog - kink/fetish blogs are fine, don't panic, I have my own sideblog for that and you're fine to follow here. But if you're a TERF and you try to follow me, don't be shocked if you suddenly can't see my blog anymore. That's all.

5 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Youtube

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b4kuch1n · 5 years

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Hầu đồng, queerness, witchcraft, languages, and me

I went to an exhibition today and got really emo, and I promised to make that everyone else’s problem, so I’m gonna post the note I made on my personal facebook page over here too because. yknow. nobody fuckin uses facebook. I dont even use facebook

under the cut for the full deed babey

---

I'm not an academic.

Took me eighteen years to understand that about myself. Or to accept it, more like; I'm no good with retaining information, with reading, with thinking deep into the logic of something, with numbers and statistics. Never have been. I'm not a smart person, and I will never be. And I'm fine like that.

One advantage to being me that I press a lot in any essay I've ever written, though, is that I make a lot of connections between things that are only vaguely similar. In literature classes this has saved me many times, in other classes much less so, but at the very least I don't have too hard a time choosing dissertation subjects. It is still not an academic kind of observation in nature, however; to be able to turn it in for class, I would have to read up and do research and compare the results to it, to conclude if it's coincidental or not.

It has always been a starting place, in any case. With my mental condition, a starting place is a saving grace.

I'm not in school anymore. Might not be back for a while. I started going to an IUT in France two years ago - just finished it last year - and two months later I started using the nonbinary label, as well as the asexual aromantic one. Of course it's not spontaneous, it's a result of a change of environment through which I realized that oh. I still feel the same about being a girl. Going from one culture to another entirely different one, with an entirely different view on femininity and womanhood, didn't change my own feelings about being considered a girl. So France didn't make me this way, no - it just pushed me to acknowledging it about myself. And I'm still going with those labels to this day, and for the foreseeable future.

A thing about the modern time is that the online space is so ingrained into every corner of a lot of people's life, and queer people even more so, because we aren't the majority and we have a desire for community. The online queer circles I frequent and follow use English mostly, and by this point the language and vocabulary coming with the community has developed significantly, and is constantly up to debate and change, which is reflective of the people who use it, who are people and naturally will not fit into one strict, defined description. It is not perfect - far from it, really - but it's vast, and free, and comforting.

The real place where I reside, in Hanoi, Vietnam, doesn't really have something like that.

It is something I've noticed: we Vietnamese queers don't really have words to describe ourselves in our own language. All we have to work with are insults, slurs we haven't yet reclaimed, and one word that's closest to "queer" in function, which is "bóng". It is a label that covers any of us that are gender non-conforming and non-heteronormative, in presentation and/or in sexuality, but even it is still used in a pejorative sense daily. Most activist groups use English labels and their literal translations into Vietnamese when discussing ourselves. The closest I, who identify as nonbinary and have come out to my immediate family and some close friends in real life, can come to describe my gender in Vietnamese is "neither girl nor boy".

Being nonbinary has brought to my understanding starkly how omnipresent the gender binary is in the modern Vietnamese language. Especially in family matters; it is impossible to talk about myself to my relatives without moving my linguistic presentation to one end of the binary or another. There's no non-gendered word for "uncle/aunt" or "brother/sister" or "grandpa/grandma". Any gender-neutral pronouns feel either too vulgar or too formal. It feels like I'm somewhere I shouldn't be. My own native language, the one I grew up speaking, the only one I knew before the age of eight, refuses my existence.

This has contributed immensely to my discomfort (which I subsequently realized was dysphoria) and the doubt I harbour over my own identity for a long time, and I'm still fighting it to this day. The lack of option in my mother tongue points easily to the idea that my labels, the language I use to describe myself, is foreign, imported, and so is my identity that language describes. To the idea that it's an aesthetic, a fad that comes and goes like any other imported trends. That idea infringes terribly on other parts of my identity, the parts that know, acknowledge, and are proud to be Vietnamese, and are searching desperately for a stable sense of national identity, because we survived history but not unscathed. Those parts so want to lash out at any things perceived as ephemeral, sold by a foreign entity to me to award myself with a sense of superiority. Anything that's finite.

But, it turns out, everything is finite. Even national identity is finite. We aren't the same nation we were a thousand years ago. We aren't the same people we were a thousand years ago. We changed.

The similarities are only threads of silver and gold that link us to people who were. They are important, because in time all things still take roots somewhere, but then in that sense, looking back in time I should be seeing my roots just like everyone else.

I'm present, aren't I? I'm real. Even if my own language doesn't acknowledge me, even if I have to borrow the words I use to shape my own figure in the world, I would still exist without all of that.

I went to the "Hầu Đồng & Queer" exhibition at Ơ KÌA HÀ NỘI today, following one of the silver and gold threads. Almost every deep reading into the history of queerness in Vietnam eventually links back to some form of spiritual worship, and "hầu đồng" is the most prominent word I've picked up. I didn't talk to many people at the exhibition - I'm anxious enough just being outside and taking up space, really - but the environment was welcoming, comforting in a bone-deep sense, and the photos were beautiful. It really struck me how beautiful the models are, all of them, with any "feminine" or "masculine" characteristics that'd pop up on their bare face obscured and blurred by makeup and costumes and the ethereal sense of disconnect from the confines we as humans put on ourselves, as we try to reach the end of who we are. It reminds me of camp and drag, the two things the queer community oversea has been using to express itself. They all use a binary language, warbling between "man" and "woman", but there's also a sense of mirth and that disconnection from confines, whether spiritual or not. I was a bit miffed instinctively when reading the pamphlet that came with the exhibition, at the inevitable of binary gendering in Vietnamese yet again, but when going through the exhibition I get the sense that it's a statement, not just a compromise. Like camp and drag, it's a subversion. It's deliberately going against the "normal", the he and she, taking these things and messing them up in the face of the people confined by them. It's translating queerness into the language used to other it, saying "I'll show you queer. I'll show you different."

It also reminds me of a video I watched a while ago on the PhilosophyTube channel, titled "Witchcraft, Gender, & Marxism", mostly because of how close queerness and spirituality are linked in our culture, and then how both revered and shunned they become. Hầu đồng was the origin of our common word for queerness, "bóng", as well. I am not a spiritual person in any significant sense; I genuinely dislike most rituals I've been subjected to, and I think giving money to a god to buy one's own protection is not only unproductive, but also disgraceful to any powers that be out there. I'm not capable of getting witchcraft past a certain sense of wonder for the concept, but Oliver's thoughts on the subject makes some sense to me - specifically the idea that witchcraft is a form of acknowledgement without understanding of the present. It rings true to us queers, who know how vindictive some of our oppressors can be, and have no doubt if the true genetic understanding of how we come to be were obtained at present time, it'd just be another battle we have to fight. We just are, and past all expectations and constraints, we are fine. Witchcraft doesn't demand a formula of us, it says that this is how it'll be in these conditions, do of it what you will. It's almost utopian in this form, with how accepting it is. Of course, in practice it is not as ideal as in theory, but it teaches me why queerness and spirituality are so close together.

The pamphlet for the exhibition has a small paragraph about the event's purpose, to "bring the audience back to the past, where queerness had had its own place in a society that wasn't particularly open", and with that as well as the exhibition, I get to the end of the thread I followed. We were back then, just as we are now, and there are silver and gold threads tying all of us together, here or overseas. Languages are just the mold we put our selves in, and because we are nebulous, molds will forever be just an approximation. The statues cast from the language isn't true, and that's okay. We get somewhere everyday.

I'm not an academic. I can't prove my identity by numbers and researches, like many people out there. I'm also not a witch, who knows and makes of that acknowledgement something. I just am.

I am, despite a lot of things.

And that's fine.

#trans tag #personal #wow actually using a blogging platform to blog? unbelievable #welp with this note on facebook Im officially coming out to any of my relatives who can read english #so. my mom in about five years #(jk she already knows. its a whole thing)#this is not like. a statement or anything. literally like I said above its about me being emotional and making that everyones problem #it is weird being queer in vietnam #genuinely just the other day my mom was talking to one of my aunts about me never marrying anyone #and she was so indignant at that idea its so funn #'what?? no way. she's gonna come around to it one day'#literally every time my relatives talk about me now I dont register it as they actually talking about me #its like having a virtual straw man right next to me that takes all the arrows #but also thats like. one funny thing about being closeted to the family yknow.#some of these people frequently act homophobic and transphobic in my presence.#and then the knowledge that my grandparents really wanna see me date someone before they die #I love love love them as people and the idea of disappointing them still hurts #so. yknow. funny existence #so I guess this is to all the nebulous vietnamese queers out there #who arent outright rejected by their families but dont feel like theyre real anyway #we're fine guys. we're good #have a good day everyone #bakuspeech

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natsbaby · 2 years

Text

The Contract [18+]

Pairing: Professor!Natasha Romanoff x Student!Reader

Summary: you go meet with your professor for the requested 8 pm and it opened the door of opportunities for both you and Nat

Warnings: a LOT of sexual themes that leads to sex (mentions of foreplay but not like sex-sex, mommy kink, Dom and Sub contract), cursing, mentioned drinking

(Long) A/N: this might be the closest you guys will get to smut from my end (for now 👀) but thank you guys so much for loving this little projected fantasy- story of mine! It’s officially my birthday so this is my way for thanking you guys for being my 2021-2022 plot twist by opening this new “mini series”!! It’ll take time for me to actually update this and I don’t have an idea how many parts this will be so lets see!! Hope you guys enjoy 🤩

Tags: @jayxxace @readings-stuff @romaaa28 @yvungmxshroom @karmasgxrl @hallefuckingluyah @donnietarantino

Staring is Bad [pt 1]

“Oh my god? oh my god…. oh my god???!! oh my god!!!!” you say animatedly through all the emotions while staring at the piece of paper in your hands.

This is literally what you’ve wanted since the moment you stepped into the lecture hall and saw your professor writing her name on the board. On one hand, your logical brain is thinking that this is an absolute horrible idea through and through. If people gets the idea that there’s anything between you and Natasha then welp, goodbye future. But on the other hand thats curious and will benefit your you-know-what, this could be a fun experience and maybe no one will find out! Its college, you’re both adults and there’s no rule with student-professor relationships.. that you know of.

Before you could even put the paper away, a sudden weight falls on your back side causing your knees to buckle. Luckily, you caught your balance on time as your attacker giggles at your suffering.

“My gosh Ellie!” You groan as she gets off you causing her to laugh.

Ellie’s your classmate in a lot of your mechanical engineering classes and you’d normally hang out with her when your normal best friend is in her other english major classes. She became your best friend too throughout then years you’ve known each other here in college.

“You were so deep in thought, you okay?” She asks with a tilt of her head causing you to sigh. She’s heard of Natasha, but honestly who doesn’t?

Natasha, alongside some other professors, are known to be this group of really attractive set of professors throughout the different majors. Professor Stark for the engineering classes, Professor Rogers for the economics and history classes, Professor Maximoff and Professor Romanoff for the literature classes, and Professor Danvers for the aviation classes. Honestly they’re all annoyingly attractive it isn’t fair at this point.

“So I’m guessing this is a girl problem?” She teases as she glances at the piece of paper clutched against your chest. Your reaction just gives it away as she gasps in shock and excitement. “So it is??”

You think about it for a moment, not wanting to show off as a booty call but luckily Nat didn’t put any initials or alike so you can pass this off as a student than a professor.

“You’re so not ready for this” you chuckle softly as you hand her the piece of paper. She excitedly takes the paper, reading it and she gasps at the end.

“Oh my god!! Who is this? Do we know them?? Are you going?” She asks excitedly, bouncing at the balls of her feet that it reminds you of an excited child who was given permission to eat ice cream for dinner. You shrug in response as you take back the paper.

“I’ve been thinking about it, might be fun but on the other hand, I’m busy and we have school” you rationalize as you both start walking to your next class. She scoffs at that, rolling her eyes in response.

“Come on, We’ve been friends throughout college I already know you at this point. You don’t study so it just means you’re considering it” you grin at her as you bat your eyelashes innocently.

“Of course, I’m also not stupid when the opportunity to meet with someone hot after class hours comes along”

The cold night air blows causing your skirt to fly up a bit, and a shiver run through you. You’re wearing a black mini skirt and a black button down thats tied at the front and 2 of those button are unbuttoned to show your cleavage a bit more than normal, just enough to tease. You’re also wearing your black kitten heels to put the look together with your normal makeup and wine red lipstick. You had to make sure Ellie nor your best friend would catch you, so you made sure to make something up and prepare for the worse.

According to your best friend who graciously helped you get ready since she’s the only one who knows about Natasha, you look great and you honestly do feel great. You start to feel your hands clamp up as you walk closer to Natasha’s office. Your heart starts to increase in intensity of heart beats as you finally reach her door with the “Professor N. Romanoff” plate on it. You take a deep breath as you raise your fist to the door, silently praying to whichever god is watching over you at this moment.

You gently knock on the door, waiting a few seconds and finally heard Nat saying ‘come in’. You open the door and the first thing you noticed is how dim it actually is at night despite the yellow fluorescent lights giving the room that dark academia glow. It’s your first time to be in her office and you can’t help but glance around at awe at the ceiling to floor bookshelves, full of literature books of all languages.

“Wow” you say softly as you look around while going in the room, and blindly closing the door behind you. Nat chuckles at your reaction, smirking as she leans against her table behind her.

“Welcome to my office, your first time?” You nod in response as you notice the dark brown leathered furniture, specifically a really comfortable looking couch at the back of the room. You hear Nat’s heels clacking against the wooden floorboards causing you to look at her, her dark forest green eyes looking at you as if you’re her prey and ready to pounce. She stops right in front of you, raising her hand to your cheek and gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You look absolutely delicious, darling” her seductive tone causes a shiver run through your spine, Nat’s perfume invading your senses as if its an aphrodisiac and your brain just short circuits.

Nat’s smirk widens as you unconsciously whimper at her actions. She takes a step forward, causing you to take a step back until your back bumps against the door, letting out a thud from the sudden impact. Nat places her hand against the door behind you and uses her other hand to trail her finger up and down your arm, sparks flying as she does that.

“I’m glad you came” she says as she slowly leans in then down, your eyes widening and swallow deeply to get rid of the lump in your throat.

“R-r-really?” You stutter as you unconsciously glance down. Due to Nat’s heels, she’s towering you at this point and it doesn’t help that her cleavage is almost literally right by your face.

“I wanted to offer you some wine, have a small conversation before I make a move but..” she trails off as she gently presses her lips at the spot behind your ear. You feel a hot spark go down to your lower region at that, gasping as you feel her warm breathe.

“It’s hard to control myself when you’re here looking so sweet and pretty for me, ready to spread your legs for me with just one look from me” she says softly, almost sweetly if it weren’t for the seduction and want dripping thickly in her voice.

She presses another kiss at the same spot, placing more kisses trailing down your jaw as you let out a series of whimpers and grip into Nat’s arm that’s now trying to open your top. She smirks smugly at your reaction to her actions, she continues her kisses down to your neck. You gasp at the sensation of her lips against your neck, feeling your knees weaken. Nat notices this as she continues her kisses and uses her free hand to hold you by the waist and pulls you against her.

“You’re mine now sweetheart, and I’m not letting you go”

“You seriously took your- OH MY GOD Y/N!” Your best friend/roommate exclaims as she sees you the next day. Her jaw drops as you look like you’ve been through absolute hell with all the hickeys on your neck, your top wrinkled from your last night’s events and half-hazardously buttoned up causing a button to be out of place and your stockings basically gone. You smirk at your friend as you put down your phone and wallet on your table as you start to grab some clothes from your side of the closet.

“Gosh that was such a great night” you sigh dreamily as you lean against the door of the closet so you could face your friend who’s on her bed, now sitting up intrigued with what you have to say.

“You look like you’ve been to a brothel” she jokes but scrunches her nose in disgust as she catches a whiff from you. “Gosh you smell like it too, I’m guessing she’s that good?”

“Yea” you say with a dopey smile as you recount last night’s events. “But don’t tell anyone or I’m gonna kill you”

Nat crashes her lips against yours, kissing you such intensity and conviction that makes you melt against her. You drape your arms around her neck as she paws at your breasts through your top, growling against your lips as she notices your lack of bra. She slightly swipes her tongue against your lower lip, you open your mouth slightly allowing Nat to push her tongue in to messily make out with you against her door.

“She did not” your best friend says in shock as you get out of the shower in your dorm room, rubbing your towel against your hair to remove the excess water. You chuckle at your friend’s dumbfound look, nodding in response.

“I know she’s physically hot but wow that woman knows her shit you know” you say as you sit down on your friend’s bed. “Anyway”

Nat picks you up by the thighs and leads you to the couch in her office, placing you down and hovers over you as she attacks your neck. She’s a woman on a mission and she hums in appreciation as she finds your soft spot and your little sigh in pleasure turns her on even more. “Professor-“

“Call me Natasha” She mumbles before sucking harder, nipping and licking at the area to form a hickey as your hips unconsciously move to find any source of friction to ease the warm and uncomfortable sensation at your lower region. Nat pulls back and smirks at your whimper from the loss of sensation.

“Will you be a good girl for mommy?”

Your best friend gasps as she violently whacks your arm and leg as you laugh hysterically at her reaction.

“Oh my god Professor Romanoff has a mommy kink oh my god????” She says in complete disbelief as she stares at you with wide eyes.

“That’s all I’m telling you okay? I honestly shouldn’t have said more but PROMISE don’t tell anyone okay?” You look at her seriously who agrees to not tell anyone at all.

You smile and stretch, a satisfied groan leaves your lips as you lay down. “Gosh that was so great”

“Will you two doing whatever relationship this is? Or is this a one time thing?” She asks as she lays down besides you. You shrug as you sigh.

“I hope there’ll be more, but you never know right? She said she’ll call me but let’s see” as if on cue, your phone rings causing the both of you to jump as you scramble for your phone and answer it.

“Hello?” You ask as you both look at each other with confused looks.

“I’m surprised you can still talk properly from all the screaming last night” Nat teases over the phone as she waves goodbye to the last student as they leave the room. “I’m sorry for making you leave in the morning, normally I would cook you something and stay in but I had a morning class”

“It’s no problem, I get it” you say as a grin forms on your lips as you watch your best friend’s mouth ‘oh my god??’ while waving her arms frantically. “Do you still have any classes today?”

“That’s why I called actually” she starts as she quickly glances at her calendar on her table. “Can I see you? To make up for this morning”

“Sure I’d love to” you say with a smile as you try really hard not to laugh at your friend’s shocked and excited expression. “I don’t have any classes today so I can meet you in 15 minutes?”

“Perfect, see you in my office” Nat ends the call and you slowly put your phone down.

“Oh my god I’m meeting her in 15 minutes” you say in disbelief as your friend squeals loudly causing you to squeal with her.

You finally arrive to Nat’s office, raising your first to knock but the door suddenly opens revealing a different professor.

“Professor Maximoff?” You ask as you quickly glance at the name plate on the door. Wanda chuckles softly at your shocked look, giving you a kind smile.

“Ah, Y/N it’s been a while. How’s Y/B/F/N?” She was your best friend’s professor for a few classes and you’d normally wait for her outside of the lecture hall to hang out. After some times of you doing that, Wanda would notice your presence and sometimes allow you to sit in so you wouldn’t wait outside, basically being an honorary member of the class.

“She’s doing alright” you reply as kindly as you clasp your hands together behind your back. “Is Professor Romanoff there?”

“Wanda, stop terrorizing my student” Nat scowls as she walks up to the both of you. Wanda smirks at Nat as she gently pats her cheek gently.

“I’m not, I happen to know Y/N as well” Wanda says nonchalantly as she looks at her wrist watch. “Anyway, I have a class to teach so I’ll see you for dinner Nat?”

“Of course, see you” Nat waves at Wanda as she leaves, making you also wave goodbye but you stop halfway as Nat pulls you into the office, closing the door behind you and crashes her lips against yours causing you to groan.

“Let me make it up to you from this morning, alright?” Nat mumbles against your lips as you whimper in response causing Nat to smirk a little at that. She pulls back after some time causing you to gasp out and breathe in some air. She gently holds your wrist and leads you to her table and you see a small stack of paper with a bold title on top.

“Submissive Contract?” You ask as you pick up the top page as you read it.

“I’m a dominant outside my teaching profession and I’d love to have you as my submissive. It’s alright for you to say no but-“ you cut her off by plucking the pen out of her right breast pocket, leaning over her table and signing your name on the dotted line. You hand the pen back to Nat who’s looking at you with a shocked but amused look.

“You’re not even gonna question it?” You shake your head no then smile at her innocently, sealing the fate of your journey with Nat.

“You had me the moment I walked into your classroom, now you can have me for as long as you want. I believe it’s a win-win situation for the both of us, don’t you think?”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff imagines #natasha romanoff smut #celebrity oneshots #professor!natasha romanoff x student!reader #professor!natasha romanoff #natsbaby prof!nat mini series

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sameore · 2 years

Text

The hostile part of r/HazbinHotel on Reddit?

I don't know your experience with Reddit, but there is something I've genuinely noticed while I was trying to share my transmasc related fanworks (mainly including Alastor, in my case) with Hazbin Hotel's fan community.

And this triggered... my interest, my curiosity? Because there are two specific communities that are dedicated to gather this fanbase:

r/HazbinHotel, and r/HazbinHotelFanart.

(There is another NSFW one, but... welp. The mod team will either delete your work, say it's not "NSFW enough", or just switch your "Male" tag into "Female" tag because they don't know what a trans man actually is... apparently. Even if it was specified on the title: interpret this as you want)

Now the difference? Well. Each time I've posted a trans fanwork, I had two different reactions depending on which community I shared it with.

r/HazbinHotel.

It might not be noticeable here, but as soon as I posted it on this community, I received about 3 downvotes. Yet, it turns out this community won't let the counter go below zero (which explains why it's 0 and not -2). It also goes with the fact, I've left my auto-vote on (when you post something on Reddit, your account will systematically upvote it so you start with 1 point and not "0".)

While the counter will leave it as "0" officially, behind the scenes I noticed my profile karma was dropping. And not just of one point...

Here's what we've got underneath:

(75% were downvotes... except my single auto-vote)

This was an example... but unfortunately, this typically went with other fanworks I've posted in there (not many, as I didn't find this very encouraging in the first place? But that’s the point here: it’s not the first time). People behaved in a quite hostile way.

While I brought up the headcanon of Alastor as a trans man, I received things such as "what the fuck", or "this is the most way-out headcanon I've heard of". This, obviously (and always?) with downvotes. In a rare situation, one or two people defended me... and suggested these people leave the place if they don't like it. Paradoxically, later on for that post back in the days, some people started upvoting my post... to counterbalance the previous downvotes.

r/HazbinHotelFanart.

Well, people seem to be less hostile? And more supportive (see the points). Which might be... err, slightly more encouraging? I don't know.

Thereby, I noticed it was ok to make non-official ships... or to depict a character with a sexual orientation that wasn't confirmed officially. But a character being transgender? You'll have to explain yourself, and have a hard case on your shoulders.

Now, let's remember Reddit is a place in which people tend to upvote/downvote in a quite mechanical way, not just depending on the quality of your post, but mainly on their attitude toward a subject. Many Redditors feel "anonymous", and might use this feeling to belittle your work in any possible way just because they don't like the idea of it.

(The risk when you crosspost something is that it also enables them to directly go to the original post and downvote it as well... which will then affect your overall profile karma. In this case, perhaps I'd expect people from r/HazbinHotel to do the same to the original post from r/HazbinHotelFanArt).

So. obviously, if you depict a trans character, transphobic people will be free to attack you with no difficulty. Guess that's the toxic part of Reddit...

Basically, the problem is that you literally get penalized not because what you shared is morally wrong or is meant to spread hatred (is Alastor being trans wrong?), but because you don't post something according to those people's standards. What you draw is somewhat... unusual?

Here, you get punishment for this. (It's not just about the post that loses karma points, but directly your personal profile).

Finally... the problem is not just about r/HazbinHotel (or this single example), but also about Reddit's whole "justice" system that has flaws per se, and that is mainly based on social desirability.

Your post has to please the largest number of readers, with their expectations (mainstream ideas).

Alastor being transgender? Nah, people don't like this conception of things (which doesn't mean it is any less valid objectively speaking... He remains a character full of mysteries, so why wouldn't it be possible?)

Nonetheless, will it discourage me to depict Alastor as a trans man? Of course not! And there are plenty of other social media to share this on! (But believe me, if only Reddit was the only social media in which I had received remarks... *sigh*)

In the meantime, I'll leave this post some more on Reddit to see what's going to happen... while just hoping I won't keep being downvoted (or even insulted in this case!) #RIPMyKarma

I might update this post if I've got news...

*As a side note:

While in most fan communities there is a "toxic" part...

Of course, as it is important to still recall there are nuances, I'm well aware not everyone in this fan community has this mindset, and that it might not reflect Vivziepop and/or Hazbin Hotel's spirit either.

This is mainly about my personal/global experience and feeling associated with this specific community on Reddit. Perhaps a general tendancy that exists? I don't know... I have never had the possibility to exchange with other artists or mere users who might have gone through something similar. (If you have, well... feel free to share your experience?)

Nevertheless, it's gonna remain an interesting observation.

*EDIT: Another detail I didn't mention when I first published this Tumblr post is that Hazbin Hotel was initially meant for an adult audience. But, in practice... well, a big part of its fanbase might be composed of teenagers. Which might also be one of the potential factors that could explain a part of these reactions...

*Update 1: Turns out there is (once again!) this sort of dynamics in which a few people came in to counterbalance the initial cluster of downvotes on r/HazbinHotel (which confirms the nuance mentioned earlier: not everyone has this mindset). So, now the number of points is finally (timidly) positive, but I have yet to recognize the fact it's a strange way to be welcomed everytime I come up with something trans related. By a bunch of downvotes in the first place...

*Update 1b: To keep on with this nuance, the gasp between r/HazbinHotel and r/HazbinHotelFanart keeps growing though.

The original post on r/HazbinHotelFanart has received way more upvotes since then (over 50).

However. As expected earlier, some people directly reached this one post to downvote it as well. (Obviously I couldn't keep those 100% of upvotes for too long).

*Update 2: Ahh yeah. And the thing with the fact people take it very seriously when you mention this headcanon but the other headcanons are ok. I’m tired of justifying myself though.

But then, these updates were predictable, right?

Sorry if this might sound like a quite long post or something... but I genuinely needed to rant over this. Mentioning a trans(male) headcanon remains, nowadays, still quite taboo... while it's something I've always kept doing because it was important for me. And yet, I feel like I'm being punished for simply wanting to share this with other users and potentially finding people with common interests.

So... that's what it costs to conceive things a bit differently from what we could call a "normative" perspective inside a community?

You get sanctioned for having... different ideas than a majority.

And if you're out of it, you're just... a misfit.

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koreanmadeingreece · 3 years

Text

Why, why, why (3)

University student!Yuta x reader

Genre: slight enemies to lovers au, a bit of angst, a lot of fluff, and several mixups

Summary: You just got into uni and decided to move in with your childhood friend!Taeyong at the city where you are going to study. As you’re about to start your new, adult life, you meet his friends, and you realize that not everyone likes you. Nakamoto Yuta in particular almost seems like he hates you.

A/N: In this fic, Jonghyun from NU’EST appears for a while (just to avoid confusion). Also, wow I never thought I’d post this. I hope you guys like it. Also I thought I’d update every Sunday but I couldn’t restrain myself. Welp.

Warnings: n/a

Word count: 1.8K (I should let you know that I’ve finished writing it so I’ll update it every 3 or 4 days!)

Part 3/I don’t remember First / Previous / Next

Taglist: @melitadala @chxotickpoptrash (please let me know if you’d like to be tagged!)

When you entered the house, V ran into your arms for an embrace, calling you his savior, as you had just brought the food, which made the others laugh. When you reassured them again that you were okay with treating them, you all sat down in your freshly cleaned living room to eat.

That was when you noticed Yuta sitting a bit further than the others, eating quietly, and decided to come a bit closer to him.

“You’re not very talkative, are you?” You tried to joke around since no one would listen to you. The others were arguing about one of the professors at uni and if he’s single, so they wouldn’t even notice you switching places.

“Oh, sorry, it was just that I was thinking about something. It shouldn’t make you worry, really,” he answered.

“Are you sure? Because you haven’t talked to me all day. I mean, I know you just met me this morning and that I’m not your friend, but I’d love to get to know you a bit better.”

“I’m okay with that, don’t worry about me. I’m just paranoid sometimes and I’m thinking a bit too much about certain things, so just ignore me when I do that, okay?”

“So, we’re off to a good start, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess you can say that.” He smiled at you. This was the second smile he had offered you ever since this morning, and it kind of made you light up a bit. You still didn’t know what made you so interested in him. You just had to get to know him.

The next day was similar to the first, as you had to finish cleaning and start unpacking both yours and Taeyong’s things and decorate the living room. Thankfully, Taeyong didn’t have a much different taste than yours, so it was actually easy to decide what you’d hang on the walls and what color the couch pillows would be. The biggest issue was your rooms and what you’d do with them.

You took the boxes with your stuff and Johnny immediately came to help, offering to also help you with your room. V followed you and Yuta went to help Taeyong. You enjoyed their company a lot if you were going to be completely honest, and you secretly thought they’d let you join them sometimes. You really thought you weren’t a burden for them, as they’ve been friends for years and you just came to disrupt their lives. You’d never even think of causing a problem to them, so you waited patiently for any signs that would show you how they felt about you. There was just one thing you had to ask.

“So, how did you guys meet?” you asked, as you were placing your clothes in the closet.

“Do you mean us two, or…”

“All of you. How did you become like… a group?”

“Ah, funny story,” V said, “I got into a fight on my first day of uni. Someone just came straight to me and called me names because I was zoning out, and Johnny with Taeyong came to my rescue.”

“Aw, they’re true heroes,” you laughed.

“Something like that. Taeyong and Johnny met right there in front of me, and then we all decided to go to lunch together. Then Yuta came. Taeyong had met him a few hours earlier and told him to go to lunch with him, so we all sat together. And we clicked.”

Johnny nodded in agreement and gave you a stack of clothes to put away, while V was telling the story from your bed. You hadn’t put the sheets on it yet, so it was only a mattress, but it worked well for him.

“I don’t know if I should be asking this but are Taeyong and Yuta that close? I mean, he doesn’t tell me much over the phone, and with all the stuff going on because of the house we haven’t really talked yet,” you asked.

“They’re close. They’re not together if that’s what you’re asking. They’re just really good friends. If you ask me, we make a great group. It’s just that he always was a bit more protective over Taeyong, but Yuta’s definitely straight. If he wasn’t I’m sure they’d already been together by now,” Johnny told you and you continued putting clothes away, when Johnny interrupted your thoughts. “Don’t mind him. He might seem a bit distant, but he’ll open up eventually. It’s probably that you’ve been friends with Taeyong for so long and he feels kind of left out.”

“Oh my god, have I done anything like that?”

“No, no. Don’t worry about it. He was thinking about it ever since he found out you’d move with Taeyong but, trust me, you haven’t done anything. I mean, you didn’t make any of us feel bad. You’re actually fun to be around. You can come to hang out with us whenever you want, okay?” Johnny’s words were music to your ears. What you were hoping for was coming true. Your new life had officially started taking its form, and you were ecstatic about it.

Your house was finally ready, your posters were on the walls and your clothes were in the closet. After you made your bed and had V try it out, you could finally sit and enjoy it.

“Did you call your mom? She’s probably scared to death that she just let you handle a new house on our own,” Taeyong told you after the guys left.

“I did and I also sent her pictures. She’s thrilled.”

“Your dad?”

“Mom said he just nodded. I wouldn’t expect anything else.” You sat on the couch next to Taeyong.

“He doesn’t get really involved, does he?”

“Only when he’s in the mood. Which happens about… five times a year?”

“Sucks to be you.”

“Yeah, especially when he missed my gymnastics performance.” You took a bite of your sandwich.

“Well, now you’re here. If he doesn’t want to lose you, he has some work to do. Now, will you give me a bite?” And that was how the evening passed with Taeyong. You were calm, relaxed and it was exactly how you imagined it to be. All you had to worry about for the time being was the first day of uni.

You woke up the next morning and looked too pale to be human, as you had barely managed to sleep last night. You got dressed in one of your favorite outfits, a loose red shirt and black ripped jeans, and washed your face before putting some mascara and lipstick on. When Taeyong confirmed you looked hot, you were ready to go. Taeyong left you outside of the building of your first class and left for his class.

You went inside and found a seat not too close to the professor, and soon after, you noticed a tall guy approaching you and taking the seat next to you.

“First day, huh?” he asked you. “Are you excited?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I’m kind of stressed too. What’s your name, by the way?”

“I’m Yugyeom. It’s nice to meet you.” He extended his arm to you for a handshake.

“I’m Y/N.” And that was your first acquaintance. He seemed really nice. Kind, at least. You liked him at a first glance. He turned to speak to you quite a few times during our first class, but he didn’t annoy you. He was quite pleasant to be around.

After a while, you heard someone enter the room, stumbling on the stairs.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” he said and took the seat next to you, on the opposite side of Yugyeom. “Was I too loud?” he whispered to you.

“No, don’t worry about it. No one’s going to remember it tomorrow anyway,” you smiled at him.

“I hope so. And, if they do, at least I made them laugh.” He smiled back. “I’m Chan.”

“I’m Y/N and this is Yugyeom,” you said and shook hands with him as well.

When the first class was over, you headed to the other classroom for the next period and sat next to the two boys you had just met. They were extremely fun to be with, especially Chan, who was a walking mess and extremely clumsy.

You suggested going for coffee after class, so you texted Taeyong not to pick you up and walked next to Chan and Yugyeom, who knew a nice coffee shop around the corner. You found a table and sat down when you saw a guy approaching your table.

“Hey, Yugyeom, wasn’t he sitting close to us in class?”

“Now that you mention it, yeah. Should we tell him to sit with us?” And, before you could even answer, Yugyeom was already standing up from his chair. “Hey! Wanna sit with us?”

“Uh, sure.”

“We saw you in class, we’re not creeps, I promise,” you reassured him. “This is Yugyeom and this is Chan.”

“I’m BamBam.”

“BamBam?” Chan asked. “Is it a nickname?”

“Yeah, I’m from Thailand and no one actually remembers my real name, so I use this one instead.”

“Oh, that’s so interesting!” Yugyeom was amazed and started talking to BamBam nonstop, which he didn’t seem to mind, so you just talked to Chan until Yugyeom’s rant ended.

“Would you like to order?” The waiter interrupted you. He was standing next to your table for a while, but no one had noticed him.

“Yeah, sorry,” you said and turned towards him, as he was standing beside you. That was when you noticed how hot he looked and, right after everyone ordered, you turned to Chan. “I don’t know if you’re gay, straight, or anything else, but that one was hot as fuck.”

“I’m bi, and yes he was. You should ask for his number.”

“Chan, I’m not that bold.”

“Yeah, but you have nothing to lose. Look, we can send you to pay when we’re done, so you can talk to him without us there. That doesn’t involve any flirting, right?”

“Fine. Give me your money, y’all.” The other two guys turned to you in shock, but Chan promised to explain while you were gone. So, you got up and walked towards the register.

“Hi,” you told him. When he turned towards you, you deeply wished you hadn’t agreed to this. He was too handsome for you to handle.

“Ah, they sent you to pay?” He laughed.

“Yeah, they did.” You paused and contemplated if you should continue the conversation when your thoughts were interrupted.

“Um, I’m sorry if it’s weird to ask, but what’s your name.”

“I’m Y/N.”

“Ah, that’s a beautiful name. I’m Jonghyun. Do you happen to go to uni here?”

“Yeah, film major. This is my first year. What about you?”

“Me too! But I’m in the third year.” He smiled at you, but he was called to a table and had to go. “You should come by again tomorrow. I can treat you to a cup of warm coffee. My shift ends at 6.”

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staywritten · 4 years

Text

A Simpler Time│Lee Felix

Synopsis: Weddings were beautiful, especially when it was Felix’s Genre: Angst... That’s it, I hurt my own damn feelings writing this Word Count: 1242

This was the most important day of your life.

Here you were standing in your dream garden, decorated to perfection with all the fine details that you’d personally picked out. Lights draped in the trees and bushes, accentuating the natural beauty of the garden. Everything was perfect.

From your gown to the man in your arms.

The only man that ever mattered to you. Your best friend, your soulmate, and the one who stole your heart since day one. Soft music played in the background as you two enjoyed your dance. Your head resting on his chest, listening to the lull of his heartbeat.

His arms wrapped securely around you. He chuckled and placed a kiss on top of your head. “You look beautiful, you know” he mumbled against your hair.

You looked up at him and couldn’t help, but smile. You still got butterflies when he complimented you, turning you into a shy schoolgirl. “Thank you…” you placed your hands on his chest, as you swayed. Your fingertips smoothing down the lapels of his tux “You clean up pretty nicely yourself.” giggling you couldn’t hide your blush. This single moment in time was the happiest you’ve ever been.

You wanted needed this to last forever.

Your dance continued for what felt like an eternity, and even then you knew it wasn’t enough. You needed more time. He leaned down and cupped your chin “Hey…you’re crying…” he gently wiped away your tears. “And you thought you weren’t going to cry today, you’re supposed to be happy” he chuckled.

Smiling sadly you shook your head. “I knew I would cry today…I just didn’t want to.” He held your hand in his, placing a sweet kiss on top.

“I hope they’re tears of joy. You made it through the wedding, and you planned the whole thing all by yourself. It’s beautiful…perfect…” he gave you such a loving smile. The venue was perfect, the fairy lights complimenting the beautiful outdoors, the candles, and lanterns setting the mystical aesthetic you longed for.

“It’s over and now you can relax. That trip to Japan is looking better and better isn’t it? A whole week away, hot springs, and sightseeing. You always wanted to go to Tokyo Tower”

You nodded before burying your face in his chest again. “I can’t wait…” Sighing you looked up at him. “Thank you for the dance Felix”

He grinned “Of course. Anything for my best girl.”

Stepping back, you gave him a small smile that didn’t reach your eyes. “I think your wife is waiting for a dance” you gestured toward the beautiful, blushing bride that was mingling with the guests, speaking so animated and charismatically. Some brides would get upset that their new husband was spending so much time with another woman. But she was unbothered, even waving at the two of you from time to time. You weren’t a threat to her.

You never were.

He let out a laugh and rubbed the back of his head. “Haha I guess you’re right, Let’s just...One more song… ” He pulled you back toward him and danced with you. One last time. “You know I love you right…?” his low voice against your ear.

“I know…” you mumbled. You knew he loved you. Like a sister. You heard it almost every day. “I’m sorry…but just for tonight…can we pretend…like when we were kids…”

He held you tighter, in a silent understanding. “Like when we were kids…”

Simpler times when you promised to marry one another, times when you would spend the entire day trying to count his freckles but always messing up, days when you’d fall asleep for nap time holding his hand.

Days when he was yours.

It felt like it was only yesterday when you were eight years old, holding his squishy chubby cheeks in your hands to keep him still as you count his freckles. “I promise Felix I’m gonna find out exactly how many freckles are on your face.” you pouted.

And then again when you were sixteen at school formals. When he would sway you to the music and you held his face, that furrow on your brow deepening as you tried to count in low lighting. “Hold still will you, you’re making me lose count”

He chuckled leaning into you. “Then get closer” he’d tease and you would get flustered and give up. It was the simpler times you were gonna miss.

And in these final moments, you watched him carefully. Watched the twinkle in his beautiful brown eyes, watched how his face would scrunch up when he got shy, watch that gorgeous smile light up as he rambled.

Here it was, his wedding day and you held his face once again, looking over his delicate features.

He couldn’t help but laugh a loud belly laugh, as he realized what you were doing. “Still haven’t figured it out?” his low voice teasing you.

“I would if you stayed still” you mirrored his smile. Your eyes darting back and forth from one side of his face to the other.

“C’mon it’s your last chance. To this day no one has given me the exact number” he smirked.

People say that everything happens for a reason. That there was some master plan that was mapped out and fate will bring you to the right one. And all you could think of is that the people that believe that must have gone numb to the pain of heartbreak. It was the only way they could still be so hopeful.

As the song came to an end he pecked your cheek. He squeezed your hand lovingly before finally letting go. “Have fun in Japan…”

You gave him a small shrug and smiled. “Have fun in Hawaii…” As he moved to walk away you called out to him one last time. “Felix… you have 109 freckles...”

He chuckled and nodded “109, it’ll be our secret” he gestured to zip his mouth shut before throwing away the key.

He gave you one final look before shuffling over to his wife and leading her to the dance floor. He pulled her into a loving kiss. Giving her the look that you never saw. He watched her like she was the most important person in the world. Like she was delicate and precious. Like she was his lifeline.

He looked at her the way you looked at him.

Planning weddings usually brought you such joy. This was the only one that actually caused you pain. Felix’s wife was more so the career type, didn’t really have time, nor the know-how to take on a wedding, so when he talked you into it you couldn’t help but find the irony cruel. You always wanted to plan his wedding…Just not like this

You looked back at your finest work as a wedding planner and your finest work as a best friend. You always wanted what made him happy and always made sure he got it. Seeing the smile on his face you knew you succeeded. You got to see him off.

This was the most important day of your life.

Starting today you officially stepped down as a best friend. He had a new one now.

At least this time he was in love with her too.

“Goodbye Yongbok” you smiled softly before dipping out of the wedding early.

End

Hello ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

I made my self sad writing this because I noticed there was a lack of Felix angst and I needed to fix that and welp, now I’m crying. ;_; ok cool

This was initially a old fic that I wrote like 5yrs ago decided to overhaul and repurposed and it hurt my feelings more this time around.

-D❍MI

∘Tags List:

@skzsprinkles @tophuphu @hugs4chan @channieboyo

#stray kids #stray kids scenario #stray kids x reader #stray kids reaction #stray kids angst #lee felix #lee felix angst #lee yongbok #lee yongbok angst #angst #stray kids imagines #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #skz fanfic #skz angst #skz scenarios

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tbtssstuff · 4 years

Text

BTS meeting you for the first time

+RE-POST+

AN: I would like to say that when I originally made this, I had a WHOLE different series thing in my mind, but after I posted it I got my first ever request! So then I forgot what I was going to do 😔 But oh well! It can be a stand alone. Also I changed the song y/n was humming in Yoongi’s part... Seemed more fitting 👀 👀

Masterlist

-TJ/ TacoAdmin 🌮

Seokjin

You were the head chef of a very high end restaurant

Jin was always recommend your restaurant so he decided “eh why not?” and took the boys out for dinner

Almost moaned when he tasted your food

He had never tasted anything so amazing and he’s had his own cooking!

Demands (but asks politely) to meet the chef in charge

One of the waiters came to get you and told you everything

You almost fainted hearing the KIM SEOKJIN from BTS wanted to meet you over your cooking

Everyone who worked with you knew how much of an ARMY you are, so they are happy for you

When meeting him you appear completely calm, though you are screaming on the inside

Gotta keep things professional

He promises to come back again

Says it’s for your cooking, but he really wants to see the beautiful chef again

Namjoon

He’s always seen you around the park, going on a jog or walking your dog

Thinks you’re absolutely stunning

One day Namjoon decides to go sit in the park to clear his head

That’s when he sees you again

You had your headphones in and didn’t seem to notice when you bumped into him

“I’m so sorry!” You both exclaim at the same time

He goes to reach for your phone (which you dropped) and sees that you were listening to Converse High

Which seemed appropriate once he saw you were actually in converse, jeans, and a white shirt

Namjoon wanted to know you

While you already knew who he was and when he smiled that adorable dimple smile while handing you your phone, you were smitten… again

“Nice taste in music” he would joke

“Only the best” you smiled

Yoongi

Yoongi only wanted one thing

Coffee

He just didn’t seem to account for was the new very attractive barista who had 3 stickers of shooky on her name tag

Instant panic would have ensued and he would have left, but he was so damn coffee deprived that he sucked it up and walked to the counter

You were humming Daechwita when he approached you

“Hi. what can I get for you to-“

You immediately got starstruck when you saw him

He was so much better looking in person

Like damn

But he also looked super tired

“Hi. What can I get for you today?” You tried again

Yoongi smiled

You knew who he was, obviously freaked when you saw him, but tried not to make a big deal out of it

Which he appreciates because causing a scene will attract a lot of unwanted attention

“One coffee. Black.”

“And maybe your number”

Hoseok

Two things that Hoseok was known for was dancing and helping his friends. So when a friend who ran a dance studio asked him to come teach a class, he couldn’t resist

What are friends for right?

You had been going to that dance studio for about 3 years now, loving every second of it

Most of it you spent freestyle dancing, but you would also learn a bunch of BTS choreograph

Which is definitely nothing to sneeze at because a lot of them were really difficult

You weren’t even going to go to the dance class, you were extremely tired from work and just wanted to go home, but your friends convinced you to

You were sitting on the floor stretching when he came in

Once you saw him you about jumped out of your skin

Your friends laughed at you

Of course they would. They knew he was your bias too

Half way through the class he came behind you and re-positioned you

God his hands felt nice on you

This man must have read your mind because he leaned in close to your ear

“You’re cute. Meet me after class.”

Jimin

Jimin loved to preform for ARMY, but sometimes it was nice to be in the audience

Which is why he loves open mic karaoke night at a bar in down town

He always wore a hat and glasses

And sat in the back

Can’t be too careful

Most of the people going up to sing weren’t bad, but they weren’t good either

That didn’t matter though. It was just nice to see them

Then it was your turn

Not only did he almost fall out of his chair because of how beautiful you were, but he heard Serendipity come over the speakers

Sure he has heard many ARMYs sing it, but you

Wow

He wanted to record it and use it on an album instead of his own voice

Once you were done and got off the stage he was determined to find you again

“You know you sounded absolutely amazing up there”

Taehyung

To say you were freaking out would be an understatement

Of course right after the BTS concert ended you would lose your phone

Why does the world hate you?

The only good thing was security pitied you so they let you back in to look

Of course not without them being too far from you, which was fair

You rummage through the floor seats just praying no one stole it

You just went to a concert of course your ass was broke! You can’t afford a new phone!

You sat in a seat frustrated

Then someone laughed at you

Rude

You snapped your head up to glare at whoever decided it was okay to laugh at you

But then you saw Taehyung sitting on the edge of the stage in front of you

Suddenly you weren’t as mad anymore

“Why are you laughing?” You asked

“I’m guessing it was you that lost this.”

And then he held up your phone, which was lit up to show your lock screen

A picture of him and above it says “don’t touch my fucking phone unless you are Kim Taehyung”

“Looks like it’s a good thing I found it” he smiled and winked

Jungkook

Welp it was official

You were dead

Deceased

No more

As you stood in front of Jeon Jungkook at a fan meet, you held his and and told him how amazing his tattoos were and how you wish he could show them

And he smiled at you

Then kissed YOUR hands

Y/N.EXE has stopped working

He smiled at your bright red face and thought you were the cutest thing he’d ever seen

“Why don’t you tell me your name? Seeing as you know mine and we can maybe get lunch sometime”

Yep. You were dead

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danwhobrowses · 3 years

Text

One Piece Chapter 999 - Initial Thoughts

One to go We are within breathing distance of Chapter 1000, but we still have 999 to sate us The tower climb continues as down in the basement Yamato mentions Ace, implying a flashback too

so let’s get into it

Spoilers below for the chapter, Support the Official Release Too!

As the color spread combines with 1000, I won’t talk much about it, but it does look like it’s an updated homage to Chapter 100′s color spread

We start immediately into an Ace vs Yamato flashback

It kinda surprises me how much hassle Yamato is having with Ace, I mean we knew Ace was strong but he was only 550 million, which isn’t that big in the new world

Not ‘daughter’ guys, ‘son’ - also WHERE TF IS MASKED DEUCE!?

Kaido not being around does explain a few things though; Ace would’ve never ran away from a fight - this much we painfully know - and at the very least they got to free some abducted children

It is cool that Ace and Yamato found some common ground over the fact that they hate their bio fathers, though it is more tragic that Ace hates Roger who wanted nothing but love for him compared to Yamato hating Kaido because he’s abusive, negligent and a horrible creature

Turns out that Yamato broke the dragon statue first, using it as a gesture to declare his intention to go out to sea. It kinda reminded me to when Calgara killed the snake in front of Noland

The ace has to get a punch in while it’s down XD friendship is sealed at least

HAHAHA Cavendish losing all the respect, at least Ace remembers half his name XD

Yamato’s face though hearing about the budding supernovas is precious

I guess Ace’s drink of choice has been the ‘Gush about Luffy’ Juice, order 10 more! It’s wonderful how much Ace is talking up Luffy to the oblivious Yamato, even with that evil grin

Seems that Ace made 2 promises in Wano he couldn’t keep :/ if only he didn’t let Akainu get to him...

Momo and Shinobu do catch on that Yamato said ‘Father’ though, and from that they completely lose it. But like, come on, random allies in the den of Kaido are likely to come from Kaido’s ranks

Shinobu though just rolling away XD Yamato took cannonfire for you I think you’re good

I can’t seem to grasp who’s surprised about Ace’s death, either Yamato is responding to the question or Momo/Shinobu are pointing out that Ace has been dead for a while and Yamato didn’t know

At the same time we also note the Ace connection with Tama, as someone (Nami with the long nose) tells her of Luffy’s connection to Ace

Kaido’s forces attacking Marco because they don’t want to be killed by Queen is a better reasoning than they just believe that Chopper is lying

Robin and Brook taking the stairs? Looks like they’ll be halted by someone, or tag in for someone else having a fight

I think this is the first time Zoro’s been carried by a bird and he’s actually okay with it XD

Through Marco we get more of Ace’s side as to why he didn’t return to Wano

So nobody has been 2nd Division Commander because the WB crew learned of Oden’s death much later, I wonder how that went down. It’s interesting that Ace was told about Oden though

Oda though going all in with Marco and the Pineapples, first the attack pun now he’s just eating one

I mean, WB is right, Ace can’t beat Kaido, but at the same time avoiding casualties would’ve been easy if you just stormed Onigashima

SHUT UP MARSHALL! all gloaty because he could scar Shanks and would later take WB’s devil fruit and become a ‘big shot’ himself...

Looks like Izo and Marco were always gonna come support Luffy, out of the same solidarity they had for Ace, Whitebeard’s last order is still in effect

The tears! Hit me in the heart why don’t you?

King has finally showed himself again, direct opposition for Zoro and Marco

‘The New Generation’ huh, better than the ‘worst generation’

Wait...Does Queen have Gun Tongues!? He could’ve killed Luffy and Zoro when he had them in his mouth if he had gun tongues!

The penny finally drops for Tama, but it’s adorable that she immediately thinks about how harsh she was to Luffy, luckily Nami is there to ease her

At the same time, Momo’s learning that Ace’s Roger’s son and Luffy’s brother, serendipity in the air since Roger always believed that his son would be the reincarnation of Joy Boy

It’s a nice metaphor, but I don’t think Yamato has ever tried to count stars in the sky XD

It does seem fateful doesn’t it, or is Oda doing that out of a rug-pull intention?

The way Yamato is looking at Oden’s Journal makes me feel like answers about the D. are in them

Welp, Zeus and Prometheus are fully recharged, meaning that Big Mom will be certainly at full strength

It doesn’t surprise me that they want Robin alive, Inu and Neko did warn her of this, but again - doubt you’d be able to force her to read it

Rare Pudding mention there, ‘True Awakening’ does imply more things would come from the eye

Ah, so Onigashima’s mainly gonna be dropped on Oden Castle rather than smack bang in the middle of the Flower Capital? Less casualties but still a lot

It kinda felt uncharacteristic for BM to be so cruel to innocent, neglected people, and to even consider slaves, someone needs to bonk her head again!

Wait Wait, you’re telling me that Kaido hid his Road Poneglyph in the place the Wano lot were bunking in while WCI happened!?

Little Brother? Sure Linlin. But we got a little more God Valley juice, looks like Kaido was broken bad and BM saved him

But a Fish-Fish Fruit? I guess you can say it’s Of-fish-ial? I mean, she said Mythical Fish and people are thinking it’s more a Koi that becomes a dragon by rising the waterfall, it’d explain his orange tattoo, but why is Kaido a creature then? Why not say what animal? There seems to be more to it, and what does this mean for Yamato?

Oooh you said the thing you do not say, Luffy’s radar is gonna go ballistic

So yeah, 999 is building up with full strength Yonko waiting for Luffy, but they do have to remember that Zoro and Kid are on their way, Law of course is taking his sweet time too

With Robin and Brook climbing manually it may be a point where Robin has a target on her back, but she could also provide a key distraction.

The Ace stuff was nice, good clarity there, and Tama finding out about Luffy being Ace’s brother may further push their dynamic. Still a lot to look out for, I mean we still haven’t gotten back to Carrot and Wanda vs Perospero, none of the Tobi Roppo fights resumed and Luffy wasn’t in this chapter at all All in build for 1000

Hopefully it’s a good xmas present rather one of complete devastation XD

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