#we all know the right answer (for a pessimist)
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Danny and Jazz were almost at the end of their rope.
They've checked almost everyone they knew who would take them in.
Sam's family? Didn't want them living under the same roof as their daughter.
Mr Lancer? He did actually want to take them in but his one bedroom apartment was not a suitable place for kids to live and his teachers salary couldn't afford to support three people.
Tucker's family? Got shut down by Vlad.
Which was the end of the list of who could get custody, well living at least.
There was no way either of them were living with Vlad, and with that in mind, they decided to get creative.
--------------------
When Edward woke up, sitting at an old interrogation table in what seemed to be an abandoned warehouse (don't ask him which one, gothem had too many) and splitting pain in his head from most likely getting knocked out, his first thought was I knew it.
Gotham rogues had been disappearing only to reappear the next day with no memory and often in bad shape, like black mask and Bane.
Some of the rogues, such as penguin and Ivy, believed that they would be safe from the next attack.
Edward was slightly more pessimistic.
And it turned out he was right.
"ahem." Noise brought his attention to the warehouses other occupants.
Two teenagers.
It was strange to think that these two put Bane into a coma, but Edward had spent most of his nights getting the stuffing beaten out of him by a child wearing the colours of a traffic light so he was suitably wary.
"How can I help you?" Being polite was always a good idea when kidnapped by possible meta children (because no normal person could walk away from a fight with Bane, the bats don't qualify as normal.)
"Hi, I'm Jazz and this is Danny." The red head introduced herself and the blue eyed boy next to her. "Nice to meet you Mr Nygma."
"Nice to meet you as well." His mouth responded on autopilot as he panicked over being addressed by name, no one who kidnapped him did that ( which was mostly the bats taking him back to Arkham after another foiled plan) unless they were Amanda Waller.
"Right, now that we all know each other, let's get started." Danny said pulling out a sheet of paper and star themed pen from somewhere.
"Get started on what?" Torture? Edward would really like to know if that was the case.
"The interview." Jazz explained " You just have to answer a few questions then you get to go, after we wipe your memory of course, we have someone who we don't want knowing we're in Gotham."
"Oh, of course." Edward replied faintly as he processed the information given to him.
"And if you get job we'll contact you in a week." Danny added as he twirled his pen. "Got it?"
"Yes." Edward had never been more confused in his life.
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#if you can't get your own responsible adult then store bought is fine#everyone in Gotham is confused#the bats have no idea whose kidnapping villains and why#Jazz and Danny just want someone they can trust as their guardian#do they care if that someone is a villain? no#anyone is better then Vlad#does Red Hood count as a rougue?#if so he gets an interview too
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Okay, so I’m on my second watch of s2 and I think people are really being too harsh on Aziraphale. Here’s the receipts:
1 - He said to Metatron that he didn’t want to go back to heaven, he only accepted the job after Metatron said he could take Crowley with him
2 - When Crowley says “If Gabriel and Belzebu can go off together, then we can [...].We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me.”, Aziraphale answers “Come with me to heaven. [...] We can make a difference.[...] We can be together, angels, doing good.” He is not rejecting Crowley nor the idea of them being together, he is rejecting the idea of doing nothing to make things better. He’s saying “let’s be an us in heaven, where we can be together and look after this planet that we both love instead of abandoning it”
(Of course that he is seeing heaven through rose-tinted glasses, but this is a whole different rant)
3 - The dialogue in the book shop is very similar to S1 when Crowley say they can go off together and let the Armageddon happen: While Crowley wants to run away and save them both, Aziraphale wants to try saving Earth, the only difference is that now Aziraphale recognizes that he needs Crowley and wants to be with Crowley.
4 - Just before EVERY, Crowley says “You idiot, we could have been us”, Aziraphale turns away from him to cry. In this scene I believe they are both thinking the same thing “He might even want to be with me but only on his terms.”
5 - The “I FORGIVE YOU” scene, he meant “I forgive you for not wanting to come with me and trying to change my mind, instead breaking my heart even more”
Aziraphale LOVES Earth and will try to do everything to save it and he knows Crowley loves Earth too, they are not Gabriel and Belzebu who never cared for Earth nor humans. He knows Crowley didn’t want to work for Hell anymore and that he is good and he can finally do good without being punished.
Crowley (and the viewers) has a much clearer and realistic vision of how things work, because heaven has already betrayed him. He doesn’t want to go back there because he already knows all of its flaws.
Crowley is a realist (and a bit of a pessimist), he believes Earth will end because heaven and hell cannot be trusted, so the best solution is to run away while they can.
Aziraphale is an idealistic, he is going to heaven, he is going to fix the system, Earth will be happy and safe forever, Crowley will realize that and go to heaven after him and they will live happily ever after.
SO WHEN Metatron said about the second coming Aziraphale REALIZED Crowley was right about heaven, but he still had to try to save Earth instead of taking the easy way out.
SO STOP TALKING SHIT ABOUT THE ANGEL, HE LOVES CROWLEY AND LOVES EARTH AND IS JUST TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE
#good omens#good omens spoilers#go2spoilers#gos2spoilers#ineffable husbands#it's 4am im tired#michael sheen will prove me right soon you will all see
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Drabble List #9
75 prompts to write drabbles or longer stories.
"This is just pointless."
"Fine, I'll just do it myself."
"Don't make me jealous."
"Want to watch a movie with me?"
"Much ado about nothing, right?"
"Keep me in your memories."
"I will miss you, I guess."
"Wow. You're phenomenal!"
"That is actually not comforting to hear."
"I want to show you what I can do."
"You guys are toxic for each other."
"Let's live in a cottage far away from everyone."
"Can you please just shut up for once?"
"I would rather not talk about it."
"No worry, you weren't that obvious."
"Do you want me to hit you?"
"I should really stop being a coward."
"Who did you ask?"
"Let's go on a walk."
"You're the one in control here."
"It's enough for now."
"Single, definitely not ready to mingle."
"Could you please repeat that?"
"I've got a very important question for you."
"We're all getting older."
"Did you drink anything today?"
"Not a single thought was put into this."
"Don't be so pessimistic."
"I think we've done all we can."
"Let's call the number and see who answers."
"Well, what's plan B?"
"A funny story actually..."
"I'm officially out of ideas."
"What a mess you made."
"You will not believe it!"
"I feel like I already lost."
"Care to explain all of this?"
"But I didn't do anything!"
"How can I help you today?"
"Please, get away from there."
"No, you didn't connect anything."
"Yeah, I'm okay, thank you."
"Don't shh me!"
"Hey, a little help please?"
"It's a sad sad world."
"Oh no, we're not going there!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Can you please call my mom?"
"If you want to be an idiot, be an idiot."
"That's how it's going to be, I'm afraid."
"Why do you need my approval?"
"Check mate, my mate!"
"I'm not going to jail for this."
"Such a sweet, innocent angel."
"Don't risk your life for me."
"Oh, I like a challenge."
"Not bad, but also not very good."
"Fine, I'll play along."
"It's not in my job description."
"A good question that I don't want to answer."
"Not going to say, 'cause I ain't a snitch."
"Stop this nonsense right now!"
"Think about me however you want."
"I'm not leaving so get used to me."
"Oh, the consequences for bad decisions."
"Just saying, but I'm much better for you."
"How are you holding up?"
"All the love to you, my man."
"Not my fault at all."
"I may have made a tiny little mistake."
"That is way above my pay grade."
"How the hell would I know?"
"I'm not exactly a fighter."
"So sweet of you, you're an angel."
"Thank you for bringing me home."
Drabble Masterlist
Have fun creating and writing!
If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee! And check out my Instagram! 🥰
#drabble list#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writers of tumblr#writing#writing inspiration#writing prompt#writing prompts
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I liked this video from Jamelle Bouie a lot, and I liked it even more because he delivered it as a floating eyes and mouth over an apple.
I'm going to respond to this comment as an apple because I kind of like doing it. It's fun. And I'm gonna respond to this comment by way of a story.
So, all Americans know about the anti-slavery movement, the abolitionist movement. And the way we're taught about the abolitionist movement or the anti-slavery movement, whatever you want to call it, is kind of that this was inevitable--that obviously slavery is terrible and obviously there are people against it and it was gonna end. We teach it as a thing that was bound to happen. So the Civil War comes and slavery is ended, and it's sort of a very neat story.
But I'm gonna ask you to put yourself in the perspective of an abolitionist or an anti-slavery politician in, say, 1840 or 1848; and if you are one of these people, you have a deep-seated opposition to slavery. If you're an abolitionist, you may have spent the previous 10 or 20 years traveling the country, giving speeches, rallying people, doing everything you can to stir up moral outrage at slavery. If you're a politician, you have been working, doing a grind of politics--somewhat dangerous, because people may not like slavery, but they're not super thrilled about black people either--but you are in legislatures, you are filing petitions, you are building coalitions, you are trying to make whatever headway you can to, if not challenge slavery, then at least challenge some of the racist and anti-black laws that are on the books. Both--whether you're an anti-slavery politician or ablitionist--you do not think in 1848 that slavery is gonna be over in your lifetime. You hope that it might be; but you have no particular expectation that it will be. You are not optimistic about the end of slavery. You may not even be optimistic about the world as it exists, because you look around and you see human bondage and horrible brutality that's been there for hundreds of years, and for all you know will be there when you're long dead.
So the question to ask is, why do these things? Why did these people bother? Why did they continue struggling against slavery, despite not really having any optimism about the end of the institution? And the answer--beyond a deep-seated sense of moral commitment--is that these people didn't need to be optimistic in the ultimate outcome, they just needed to be optimistic in the ability of humans, of people to make change; they needed to be hopeful about human agency. That's what they needed, and that's what they had. And so they did not know how far they would be able to take the baton, but they worked and hoped that when the end of their lives came, they'd be able to hand it off to people who could take it even further than they could.
The abolitionists and the anti-slavery politicians were essentially living out what Antonio Gramsci called the pessimism of the intellect and the optimism of the will. I think the exact quote is, "I'm a pessimist because of my intelligence, but I am an optimist because of my will." What this is is recognizing the reality of the world around you, not looking at the world as if it's any better--or any worse--but any better than it is; but not pinning your hopes for a better world on some sort of linear change, linear move towards something better; but pinning your hopes on one of the true constants of human society, which is the ability of human beings to work their will on the world, and the ability of humans to push and persevere.
So, this is all to say that I am not asking anyone to be optimistic about the world. That's very silly; the world's a very terrible place right now--not the worst it could be, but pretty bad--and I do not contest that. But I do think that people should have a bit of this optimism of the will, and this optimism about human agency, and our ability to build a better world. And this is sort of where my very strong distaste for doomerism comes from, because the sense that it is the worst, and nothing can be better, is just fundamentally incompatible with any kind of optimism of the will, any kind of belief in human agency and belief in our ability to change the world around us. And it's also why you will find me on this account often pushing back against the most negative renderings of what is happening in our society, for example. Not because I think everything is great--I do not--but because I do think that the path towards change requires one to have clear eyes about the situation in which you find yourself; and clear eyes both means recognizing the bad, but it also means recognizing those areas where you can make gains, and where you can find success; and where you can win minor victories.
And you may say, well, what's the point of a minor victory? But I think what the anti-slavery struggle demonstrates, what the civil rights struggle demonstrates, what the labor struggle demonstrates in this country, is that minor victories become fuel for modest victories, become fuel for major victories, and major victories can be the things that fundamentally change the entire field of play. So. Pessimism of the intellect, my friend, optimism of the will.
#i do not think i am very optimistic as a rule#but i'm still much more optimistic than bouie#nonetheless#i share his distaste for doomerism and for similar reasons#you cannot be clear-eyed about the world if you are consumed with pessimism
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I wasn't sure about writing this post.
Even right now, as I am writing, I still don't know if I will actually post this or just add it to my drafts as nothing more than a personal vent. Regardless, I guess that if I am here I just need to talk about this.
So let's talk.
The way the FNDM has been acting all defeated all month long has really grown to annoy me, and I am tired.
RWBY's future is unsure right now, and all this uncertainty is painful. My feelings are all over the place, swinging from terror and sadness to hope, all the time. I constantly check Kerry's and RWBY's Twitter page in hope to find any kind of news.
I can't give you a certain answer because, again, this is all uncertain. But that also means that there's still hope.
My point is, acting as if we have already lost isn't going to help anyone. Not RWBY, not CRWBY, and not ourselves, the fans who love this show so dearly.
I don't know what is going to happen, but I know that I refuse to stand around and do nothing. It's why I keep checking for news, why I am playing the show both on rooster teeth and crunchyroll all the time for views (I think that on CR I already replayed the whole series at least twice). It's why I am spamming tags, and being loud about my love, and looking and sharing all RWBY and CRWBY posts to give engagement, why I am watching every rwby_vt live on twitch.
I want to know what is going to happen more than anything, not knowing is killing me, but at same time I am terrified of the answer. Despite that, and despite my feelings swinging all around, I am still choosing to have hope.
Hope is a conscious choice, and a brave one. Because I know that being pessimistic is easier, it avoids setting us up for disappointment... but if we rob ourselves of the chance that things could turn out alright then all we're doing is decrease the chance that it will happen, and just anticipate our pain and disappointment.
As Yang said, no hope means we have already lost, and that's not the case. CRWBY, Kerry, is working really hard to save RWBY. Acting defeated already isn't just a disservice to us, but to them specifically and to everything they are currently doing. It's like telling them that it's all useless, that they've already lost, and I find that insulting. I refuse to. They deserve to see that we care and believe in them.
RWBY is THE show about hope. Shouldn't we follow the example?
#rwby#save rwby#save crwby#greenlight volume 10#ruby rose#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#kerry shawcross
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Could you do one where reader has never been able to finish during sex and Azriel overhears and is just like “is that a challenge? That sounded like a challenge” and offers his services
ps i love your content! Keep it up!
Remedy
Azriel x Reader
a/n: requests are open. Also, softdom!Az ??? HOT DAMN
nsfw under the cut (18+ please)
“Never? Not once?” Feyre asked incredulously, her voice slightly louder than normal, given the obscene amount of wine she’d drank throughout the evening.
“No,” you admitted, cheeks flushing.
“Not even by yourself?” Mor chimed in.
“I can…” you trailed off, glancing around Rita’s to ensure none of your other friends heard. “I can finish by myself, but I’ve never been able to with a partner.”
Feyre’s jaw dropped, as did Mor’s.
“Why not?” Feyre asked blatantly.
“Maybe I’m broken,” you muttered, only half-joking as you sipped your drink.
Mor laughed, shaking her head. “Doubt it. Most men do the complete opposite of what we tell them. We say to slow down, they speed up. We tell them ‘right there’ and they move to a completely different spot.”
Feyre nodded. “You need a partner who actually knows what he’s doing, or will listen when you tell him what works for you, and what doesn’t, at the very least.”
“Those kinds of males are few and far in-between,” you replied.
Mor snorted. “This is why I prefer women.”
“They do exist, y/n,” Feyre said. “Just gotta find one. Like I did,” she added, grinning.
Sarcasm dripped from your voice as you said, “Yes, because that’s so easy.”
You hummed, swirling your finger around the rim of your wine glass. “I’ll probably never find a partner like that.”
Feyre rolled her eyes playfully. “Wow, you really need to get properly laid. I’ve never seen you act so pessimistic.”
The three of you shared a laugh at that.
Sometime later, Feyre ran off to the dance floor with Rhys, and Mor left with a woman you didn’t recognize.
You were preparing to leave, until Azriel slid into the booth across from you. His shadows trailed over his shoulders, and behind his ears, whispering to him. His tanned skin was almost glowing in the dim light above the two of you. The shirt he wore had a few buttons undone, exposing some of his muscular chest. You realized you were staring, clearing your throat awkwardly before you spoke.
“Hi, Az.”
“Hi, y/n.” Azriel smiled, tilting his head as he studied you. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, earlier.”
Oh, gods.
“I um…how much did you hear?” You already knew the answer.
“All of it.”
Shit.
You took a large gulp of your wine, hoping to ease the tension between the two of you.
Azriel continued observing you, as though you were an equation he was trying to solve. “Feyre wasn’t wrong, you know. You just need to find the right person.”
His voice…Mother save you.
“And who do you think the ‘right person’ is?” you asked him, taking another sip of wine.
“Me.”
You squeaked, almost choking on your wine at his declaration. “Uh—what?”
“You heard me, bunny.”
At the pet name that so easily fell from his lips, you were certain you’d melt into your seat, and disappear forever.
“Az, I don’t want you to feel bad for me—“
“One: I don’t feel ‘bad’ for you. Two: I am offering to remedy this, ah, issue that you’ve run into with past partners. Three: let’s not pretend like we aren’t both interested in one another. I want this, and I’m almost certain you do, too.”
You weren’t sure you were breathing. Perhaps you were dreaming.
Azriel smirked. “Just say yes, bunny. I’ve got you.”
You managed to mumble out a ‘yes,’ and Azriel wasted now time in taking you back to the House of Wind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Azriel took his time with unzipping your dress, laying you back on the bed. His lips trailed your jaw, your neck, your chest. His mouth latched around one of your nipples, swirling his tongue around it. He brought his hand to your other breast, kneading it gently.
At the sound of your breathless moaning, Azriel moved lower. His teeth grazed your tummy, leaving a few marks that you knew would heal too quickly. He’d barely begun, and you could feel yourself soaking through your underwear.
It was as though he could read your thoughts, because Azriel looped his fingers around the hem of your underwear, pulling them down as he knelt at the edge of the bed.
“So wet for me,” he said as he peppered kisses along your inner thighs, taking the time to mark them as his hands reached up to caress your breasts.
You placed your hands over his, lifting your hips in a silent plea. Azriel took the hint, dragging his tongue through your center, groaning at the taste of you. Your thigh instinctively closed around his head, but Azriel held them apart, squeezing them tightly.
“Relax for me, bunny,” he murmured against your core, before lapping at your folds, wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking gently.
Your hands found purchase in his hair, strings of whimpers and moans falling from your lips as he devoured you. Your tummy tightened, and you barely had time to register what was happening before Azriel was coaxing you through your orgasm.
You shuddered underneath his touch, his name leaving your lips over and over as his tongue continued working. You’d never finished that quickly, by yourself.
Azriel pulled away for a moment, hazel eyes meeting yours. “You okay?”
You nodded, still catching your breath.
“I need words, bunny,” he said, voice gentle yet commanding as he rose from his knees, cock straining through his pants.
“I-I’m okay, Az.”
Azriel moved quickly to discard his pants, and you had to fight the urge to not gawk at the size of him. He was far bigger than anyone you’d had before. You weren’t even sure if you could fit all of him. But Cauldron be damned if you weren’t willing to try.
You sat up on the bed, crawling towards Azriel. You wanted to wrap your hands around him, feel the weight of him in your mouth, sliding down your throat.
Azriel smirked, as though he saw the gears turning in your head. “Not this time, bunny. Lay back for me.”
You almost pouted, but complied with his request, heart jumping as he climbed on top of you. You spread your legs, inviting him in.
Azriel pressed his lips to yours, letting you taste your own arousal on them. Once he pulled back, his eyes searched yours. “If you want me to stop, or slow down, say ‘red,’ okay?”
You nodded eagerly.
Azriel grabbed your chin. “Words, bunny. I won’t ask a third time.”
Your heart fluttered, cunt clenching around nothing at the dominance in his tone. “I’ll say ‘red’ if I want you to stop,” you finally confirmed.
“Good girl,” Azriel said, kissing your forehead. His hands grabbed your wrists, moving them above your head. His shadows snaked around them, holding your arms in place, just tightly enough that you couldn’t move.
Azriel leaned back, one hand holding your hips as he used the other to guide his cock to your entrance. He entered you slowly, savoring the way your cunt enveloped every inch of him.
“You take me so well, bunny,” he praised, starting with a slow, gentle pace as your walls stretched to accommodate him. “So perfect for me.”
All you could do was moan in response, words failing you as his cock brushed against your sweet spot with each thrust.
“That’s it,” Azriel cooed, pressing his thumb to your clit, circling it gently. “Doing so good for me, bunny. You feel so good.” Each word fell from his lips like honey, feeding into your desire.
It wasn’t long before you felt your second orgasm building up. Azriel could feel it too; the way your moans grew breathier, the way your cunt clenched around him.
“Come for me, bunny,” Azriel said, abs tightening as his own release threatened to overtake him.
No sooner than the words left his lips were you arching off the mattress, vision going hazy as you went over the edge.
“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this,” Azriel breathed, thrusts growing sloppier as he chased his own release. “Oh, fuck.”
As Azriel spilled into you, you found yourself wondering if it was possible to come again, solely from the sound of his moans. You’d never heard something so sinful. He collapsed on top of you, placing wet kisses on your collarbone, your neck.
His shadows finally released your arms, and you wrapped them around his shoulders. Azriel was the first to speak as the two of you regulated your breathing, relaxing against one another.
“See? Not ‘broken,’” he muttered, referring to your comment earlier that night. “You just have a terrible choice in partners.”
You playfully slapped his shoulder. “I think I chose right, this time.”
Azriel hummed. “That, you did.”
#acotar#acotar headcanon#a court of thorns and roses#acotar fanfiction#acomaf#acotar smut#smut#female reader#azriel x reader#azriel acotar
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Petrichor [19]
Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)
Words: 12,542
Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, blood, mention of abuse, mention of manipulation, mentions of death, mentions of canon characters deaths, mentions of drug use
Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you.
Orestes: It’s rotten work.
Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞
Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.
A/N: We're almost done with season 3 and I am so excited!! You're all gonna hate me later lmao (again happy ending, promise) I have so many plans lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
series masterlist | masterlist | tag list
You, Gar, and Rachel are sitting around the Lazurus Pit. Rachel has just finished giving Gar a pep talk about how she's able to do what she does out of love. Gar has been feeling a little bit like a letdown, unable to transform into different animals on command like he can as a tiger. The only times it's happened is when he's terrified, as if there's a block of fear in his head keeping him from transforming into anything else. You stay silent. You don't think Rachel is wrong. Gar could definitely change into other animals beyond being scared and maybe the answer is the love he has for all of the Titans and the love everyone has for him because everyone believes him. But, you're still stuck in your head wondering if that's always enough.
Right now, love doesn't seem like the thing that heals all wounds and makes everything better. It wasn't enough to keep Jason safe. It wasn't enough to keep him out of Crane's grasp. It wasn't enough to get Bruce to kill the Joker before he had his chance. It wasn't enough to bring Jason home. It wasn't enough for Rachel to bring Donna back. It wasn't enough for Sam to bring Jason back. It wasn't enough to keep the Titans at the tower. There have been so many things, especially lately, where it's just not been enough. Sometimes it's not enough so instead of being pessimistic about it, you stay quiet, looking at the pit and hoping it spits Dick out.
"You're quiet." Gar states, moving his attention to you.
"Oh, yeah." You shake your head, glancing back at him. "Just...waiting." You look back at Rachel. There's no guarantee this is going to work. You need another plan if it doesn't. You need another plan if it takes too long. "Do you think you could find the other Titans? Like...at some point tonight?"
"Yeah." Rachel nods her head. "I can feel their energy, too." Rachel's voice is soft.
"Well, that's good at least. Kory will know what to do." You let out a sigh, moving your stare back to the Pit.
"You don't think this is gonna work, do you?" Rachel asks.
"I don't know." You shrug. "I'm just trying to think ahead in case it doesn't or in case it takes a while. I mean, for all we know it takes a few days." You state just as the put starts bubbling. "Or...a few hours." You mutter as the three of you get to your feet, looking into the pit just as Dick's fist punches through the surface and he emerges from the thick and glowing liquid.
Dick starts to swim to the edge while you and Gar quickly meet him there to help pull him out. You both grab his arms, pulling at him until he's out of the pit and leaning back on his hands. He coughs up water just as Rachel kneels down beside him, you and Gar getting back to your feet. You and Gar exchange a look of disbelief as hope has the courage to start to fill your chests.
"Dick?" Rachel asks.
Dick manages to look at her, furrowing his brows in confusion before he falls back onto his back and passes out. Rachel looks back to Gar and you, as if one of you will know what just happened.
"What do we do?" Rachel asks.
"Is he breathing?" Gar asks with hesitance.
The three of you see Dick's chest rising and falling. This whole thing has been weird and it almost seemed like he drowned. Is there supposed to be more to do this? Or is he supposed to just...sleep off the effects and then he's just alive again? The three of you are completely confused by the entire situation.
"Yes." Rachel states.
"I guess we wait some more?" You question. "He's breathing so that's better than the alternative." You shrug your shoulders, wishing you would have pressed Jason to get some answers from Crane about him coming back.
But then Dick snaps back out of it, gasping himself awake as he shoots up. You and Gar both jump back slightly at the sudden movement and sound as if Dick is jumpscare in a bad horror movie.
"Rachel?" Dick gasps for breath, looking more confused than ever. "Gar?" Dick rushes, getting onto one knee. "Y/n?" Dick questions looking to you.
The last thing he remembers to be real is you and Jason kneeling above him, looking lost and panicked. Then there was everything in the pit which only leaves him with far more questions than answers, none of which he has time to get answers to right now. The Pit told him everything he needs to know to take down Crane. That's all that can matter right now if you're all going to save Gotham. He can deal with the rest later.
"It's okay now. You're safe." Rachel assures him. "Let us help you."
"Are you...alright?" Gar asks with worry.
"Yeah, dude. You like...died." You state with the scrunch of your nose, earning a light nudge from Gar.
"What...what happened down there?" Gar asks.
Dick breathes heavily, catching his breath and then completely avoids the question. "Crane can be stopped." Dick states, running a hand through his hair. "There's still time." Dick rushes, getting to his feet.
Dick starts to walk towards the exit as Rachel gets to her feet. He cannot possibly be serious. He just died and drowned and now he's just...going to stop Crane. Suddenly he has all the answers and he's going to go off on his own? He can barely even catch his breath.
"Wait. Dick, man, you need to rest." Gar rushes after him, the three of you right on Dick's heels.
Dick turns around, barely facing the three of them. "Anton and First Street. There's an abandoned control room. Find Conner. Make sure he's okay. Unite the Titans." Dick states in a hurry. "Y/n, with me, let's go." Dick rushes before he turns on his heels and starts darting down the hallway.
"Unite the Titans where?" Rachel calls after him.
"Take them to Donna." Dick states, not slowing down or stopping as he makes his way down the tunnel.
The three of you look between each other in confusion, trying to grasp any sort of explanation to no avail. Donna is supposed to be dead, according to Rachel. And he was in a Pit?
Dick calls your name from down the hall, his voice echoing over the bricks.
You shrug at the two of them. "Uh...alright. Good luck with that, I guess? I'll make sure he's not fucking insane." You state quickly, spinning on your heels before you jog down the hall to catch up to Dick.
You catch up to Dick who is walking a steady and quick pace, his head clearly thinking a hundred steps ahead. You eye him as you match his pace, walking right beside him. He just died? And then came back to life? There is no way in hell this man is just...fine with that. Of course, there are a lot of other things you all need to focus on, especially with him somehow knowing Crane can be stopped. There are more pressing matters than Dick's mental state at this exact point in time but that doesn't bring you any type of ease.
No one should die and then just be fine.
Jason sure as shit isn't. So, Dick can't be either.
Sam follows Dick out of the building, keeping up with him.
"We're going to meet Jason." Dick states flatly once the two of you exit the building.
"We're gonna what now?" You question, shaking your head. "And how do you expect we even find him?"
"He'll be here." Dick states, a confidence that should be reassuring consumes his voice.
How is he so sure about everything all of a sudden? The Lazarus Pit brings people back, and heals them, but...it can't possibly predict the future right? But, Dick also just said Donna is alive which means...if that's actually true the pit brings more than life back to someone. It brings some sort of clarity for things they otherwise shouldn't know. But if he's wrong that just means it's made him crazy which also means the pit did have some sort of lasting effect on Jason, too. This can't be good.
"How do you even know that?" You question, trying to figure out what is actually going on. If anything, he needs to slow down.
"He'll always go back to where it happened." Dick states.
What?
Your face scrunches in both annoyance and more confusion. You did this round-and-round question game with Jason, you're not doing it with Dick. He wants you to go and find Jason so damn bad, he can give you some clarity, too.
"What the shit with Donna being alive? How the fuck do you even know that?" You almost demand instead of asking.
"I just do." Dick says simply.
"That's not reassuring whatsoever." You mutter with more annoyance.
Dick glances down to you, seeing you grow frustrated. "The pit..." Dick says.
"Yeah, no I figured that out but you're not exactly giving out details here." You roll your eyes before you grab his arm to bring him to a stop. "Dude, seriously, are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Come on, we can't waste—" Dick starts as he continues walking.
"No, fuck that shit!" You yell, keeping up with him again. "You know, you batboys do that shit all the time. You guys say you're fine when you're not. You literally just fucking died, Dick. You can't just be fine after that. And you know if the three of you would just fucking talk about how not fine all of you are, we probably wouldn't be in this mess to begin with, right? Like that's your guys' entire fucking problem. I hate talking about my shit, too but I'm learning the more I admit how not fine I am the easier it is and I tend to feel a little bit better about it. The three of you are just fucking annoying about it and if you really think that's not your problem, you're being willfully ignorant and we both know that's not a very Nightwing thing to be." You finish with a scoff and the shake of your head.
And maybe a large part of your frustration is that neither of them seem to think they matter. They are sacrifices. Jason always thinks the world is simply better off without him and Dick thinks he's expendable. He can be the sacrifice for the greater good. It's why he's reckless and why he goes off on his own. Jason does the exact same thing. It's fine to them if they die. But, they leave these people in the wake of their deaths with paralyzing grief. This time it wasn't permanent for either of them but what happens when it is? It shouldn't be because they were reckless and decided to sacrifice themselves because they matter to people. The people who love them and they should be considered in all of this.
Dick glances down to you as you keep your eyes straight, jaw clenched tight. Dying is traumatic but you're right. They don't talk about it. Bruce never talked about anything so Dick wouldn't talk about anything and Jason never talked about anything. Batman and Robin could never be scared and they weren't allowed to let their emotions get in the way. Emotions cause blurriness and distractions. On the field, those things get you killed. But, he's not Robin. He's not with Batman. He just died as Nightwing.
"It was a lot." Dick manages to state.
"Yeah..." You say quietly.
"You almost died. I think you know." Dick says, still partially avoiding the question.
"Yeah, it was really scary and traumatizing." You state flatly because even though you were close, you did not die. He saved you. And Jason saved you. Close doesn't count here.
"Yeah." Dick keeps his word short. "I had to face some...challenges." Dick confesses, feeling the very core of his bones ache with guilt over the brutal beating of Jason even though it wasn't real in the pit. "It's hard to explain. It was a test or something." You look at him, seeing the look of distance and remorse dissolve over his face and you don't need to ask what kind of tests. "I understand Jason a little more now, him as Red Hood." Dick lets out a breath. "But I can't focus on what happened if we're going to stop Crane. "
You nod softly. "Right, yeah, got it." You let out a breath. "Your ability to compartmentalize is really something else but you should really deal with it after instead pushing it off." You say quietly, earning a glance from Dick. "Something else will always come up, you're Nightwing. You're a Titan. I'm just saying, look where we stand today like maybe it would have been different if things weren't always compartmentalized. Maybe you need to feel it sometimes."
The words almost catch you off guard. You've been running from your own pain for so long that you think that's your biggest issue. You run and it hurts you and the people that care about you. It's easier to not feel any of it but it makes being a person harder. There is blood on your hands and a part of you wonders if you had just let yourself grieve, maybe there wouldn't be. Maybe most of what happened between you and Jason after wouldn't have happened because you would have grieved. You would have felt all of it. Maybe had you stuck around after your mom died, let yourself just feel it, you wouldn't have ended up with Jerry. Maybe allowing the pain to bleed a little is how people heal from it. Let it scab over and let it mend itself over time with care and attention.
"Are you okay?" Dick asks. "You were there. You found Jason, you were there with Tim. This is a lot for you, too."
"Yeah..." You let out a sigh. "Like...I-I-I don't know. You're like this weird...weird brother I-I never really wanted or asked for and then you died. And that's just...I don't know. I fuck with you but I respect you and ya know?" You look up with honest eyes. "Kind of would suck a lot if you died permanently. You're like good at this and you're important to the Titans." You roll your shoulder, pulling in a heavy breath. "And to me." You mutter so quietly Dick nearly misses it.
"Thank you." Dick says. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." There's the smallest touch of sarcasm in his voice.
You manage to crack a smile. "Eh, don't get used to it, Dickolas. It's cause you died. Gotta be nice to you for at least an hour." Dick shakes his head but you see the subtle hint of a smile on his face. "Why are we going to find Jason anyway?"
"He'll know how to take out Crane and we need him on the inside. He wouldn't tell Crane he's against him, would he?" Dick asks.
"Doubt it." You scoff. "Jason is smart, methodical. He still wants Crane dead for what he did to me so he's not gonna let Crane think they're on different sides just so he can have the upper hand."
"Good. We find Jason and bring him with us. I have a plan." Dick states with urgency but offers no further explanation.
"Yeah...okay. So, uh, where do I come in? The mediator, still?" You almost laugh at the idea.
"No. You said Jason wanted to talk, let's talk. You're here because I need you with Jason."
While the idea of them talking is definitely enticing, you aren't completely convinced. Jason didn't pull the trigger this time but it is his fault Dick died. And given how Jason has been about Bruce who wasn't even in Gotham when Jason was killed, you can't help but feel a bit uneasy with Dick wanting to find Jason so soon after surviving the Pit.
"And how do we know you're not gonna kill Jason? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't want you to kill him and I'd fight like hell to make sure you don't. But...he did kind of just get you killed so you can see why I'm a little confused about you're kind of change of heart, I guess." You explain, eyeing him from the corner of your eye.
"You'll just have to trust me. I never wanted him dead. He was just giving us no choice." There's something almost sad that trickles into his voice while his expression gives nothing away.
"There's always a choice, Dick." You say quietly. "You can't say there isn't a choice when you yelled at me for killing and you're mad at Jason for killing. And you preached about how we can't be judge, jury, and executioner. There is a choice."
"Jason was going to kill all of us." Dick defends his stance, not acknowledging the hypocrisy of it all.
"So? And the ones we want dead will keep trying to kill other people. Or worse. Just because we, specifically, aren't their targets doesn't mean they get a pass. The innocent people that are their targets deserve the same amount of care and protection that we offer each other." You pull in a breath, feeling Dick move his stare to you. "We clearly didn't have to kill him, is my point."
This is the most Dick has gotten out about your motive. It's more than it being about the kids left behind. It's the bigger picture. That there is a choice and sometimes it's a bad choice and a hard choice but one that means, in your head, protecting the greater good in the same way Dick wants to protect the Titans. It doesn't mean he agrees with you, but he does see your point of view for once.
"Do you disagree with going after Jason?"
"No." You answer plainly. "I'm just incredibly loyal to him. If it were anyone else, they'd be dead. And I understand that's a bit hypocritical given what I just said. That's why circumstances and background are important when making the decision to kill someone." You shake your head. "I know him. I know him being a cold-blooded killer isn't him. Background matters."
"You're right it does. I do not want him dead." Dick offers a sincere nod towards you before it falls silent between you.
You finally reach the spot from last night where Dick was killed. Dick finds the Red Hood helmet, picks it up and takes it along with him. There's a puddle of blood still on the pavement that makes your stomach twist. It's as if blood stains everything it touches.
You're still unconvinced Jason will be here like Dick says. He's not psychic all of a sudden. But, you stay with him anyway, hoping you run into Jason and of course, you do. Somehow, Dick is right about this. Jason is yelling that Red Hood is back as he fires a gun into the air.
"Jason...it's okay." Dick calls, getting Jason's attention as he spins around quickly. His face is still covered in blood and cuts from the fight the night before. His eyes nearly bug out of his head, this can't be right. "It's me."
He knows the three of you took Dick to the Pit but there is a part of him that still can't believe it worked. Watching the life literally leave someone's body only for them to be alive the following day, that's more than unsettling. It feels wrong. It's the same wrong feeling Jason gets any time he gets a moment of silence and can hear his own heartbeat in his ears. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
But he is relieved to see Dick walking and alive. The feeling of it being wrong, is just the echo in his own bones. Dick should be the one alive. If the Pit were to work on anyone and offer someone a second chance, it should be Dick.
"It worked?" Jason questions, almost losing the breath from his lungs with the words. His eyes land on you as if you're the only one who can confirm if this is real or not.
You nod once. "Yeah, it did."
"You knew?" Dick asks.
Jason nods. "Rachel said that's where Gar was taking you." Jason explains as his eyes start to grow glassy, the guilt thundering through his bones once more.
"We don't have much time. I need your help." Dick cuts the conversation short, knowing they can't discuss this now but he's getting the idea maybe Jason did just want to talk. He looks hurt and relieved to see him and you.
You, on the other hand, are still uneasy. Dick isn't giving you any indication that this is going to go sideways but you feel yourself grip a knife from your belt anyway. This can't go sideways again. You all working on different teams has not helped fight Crane but working together should. Crane, at the very least, won't see it coming. You just don't want to see anyone else close to you die again.
"You want me to help you?" Jason asks, stretching his arms out at his sides in disbelief. He can't help. Not after what he's become. "I'm a fucking murderer."
"You know how Crane is operating. You know how he thinks." Dick starts. "He needs to be stopped or a lot more people are gonna die." Dick pauses for just a second. "You want redemption?" Dick asks as Jason hangs his head. "Do you?" Dick asks more firmly this time. "This is the first step."
Of course he wants redemption for the harm he's caused but his methods now do not align with Dick's. He's almost gotten them killed and he did kill Hank. He betrayed them. How is he supposed to go back now and help? After everything? After what he's become? It sounds hopeless and he almost lets his pity get the best of him until his eyes meet yours.
"We need your help, Jay." You plead with him.
Jason shakes his head. "You can't stop him." Jason answers with defeat rather than snark. He genuinely believes Gotham is lost to Crane. "He's got everything. The police, the Batcave. He's gonna take the whole fucking city down!"
"How?" Dick asks more in a way that sounds like a demand.
"You think I know?" Jason scoffs. "He doesn't tell me shit."
"Jay? You have to know something. You've been with him this entire time and you wanted to talk to Dick last night. You know something." You urge, practically begging him to just say something.
He told you once that he remembers everything. Crane slipped somewhere and all Jason has to do is remember. Think of whatever the hell Crane said that might be a clue.
Jason hangs his head as tears start to come to his eyes. "It was all crazy shit." Jason pauses for a second. "Like waves of anger and fear. The bright and darkened lands of the Earth. Something about an attack you and Bruce stopped a long time ago." Jason states, looking at Dick with confusion knowing Bruce never told him.
"Years ago, Crane sent a poem to Jim Gordon with clues about an attack on Gotham. A chain of explosives to release his fear toxin. We stopped him before he had the chance to set it off. Bruce took Crane's weapons and put them in the Gotham Armory to study them."
"And Crane's in the Batcave." Jason finishes. "So, he knows where those weapons are."
"And so do we now." Dick states as he extends Jason's helmet out to him. "We need to go."
Jason puts the pistol back in the holster on his leg. "So, I'm a Titan again?" Jason asks.
"No, you'll never be a Titan again." Dick states before he closes the distance between them, offering his helmet. "But, you can help us save Gotham."
Jason eyes the helmet as the feeling of being lost hits him like a ton of bricks. He never really fit in being a Titan anyway but...something about the confirmation that even if he were to change back to who he was before, it's over, really hits him. It's something he can't come back from. That part of his life, Robin, is gone. It's lost to the darkness. The Joker took it from him. Crane took it from him. The one thing he thought made him who he is, is shattered with so many of his hopes. It's lost and gone and Jason can't help but feel alone and lost now.
But, feeling that way got him here in the first place so he takes the helmet from Dick.
"How do I know you're not going to kill me?" Jason asks.
"Because now I know what it's like to die." Dick answers harshly.
Jason's eyes glance to you and then back to the helmet in his hands. It's more guilt. It's always guilt that comes back like the bladed boomerang. Jason knows firsthand what it's like to die, too and that didn't stop him. That was never a reason for him to stop. It doesn't matter that he was drugged and manipulated because, to Jason, Dick's reason should have been enough. It doesn't matter that the drug removed his guilt and his fear and the feeling of being haunted and stalked by something dark and twisted. He should have known better and he put death on Hank anyway. He lead Dick to getting killed.
He should have known better than to go after the people who actually cared about him. He knows what it's like to die and Dick does, too. To Jason, that should give Dick enough reason to kill him and yet...he doesn't and he seems sincere.
"Fine." Jason agrees reluctantly. "How can I help?" Jason asks letting out a steady breath as he nods his head.
"Come on. I've got a car around the block. We're going to break into the vault." Dick says casually as he starts walking past Jason.
Jason looks at you before you roll your eyes, trailing after Dick, Jason falling in line with you. The two of you follow Dick to the car he, for some reason, just has. You and Jason can only assume it's from last night. He had to get to Jason some way. Jason takes the passenger seat while you sit in the back, sitting right in the middle. Dick starts the drive while Jason is stuck in the car with his brother. This is not the ideal situation.
"Do you want to explain any of this?" Dick asks after a few minutes of silence. "How we got here?"
"Not really." Jason quips back with frustration looking out the window. He's not even entirely sure where to start. It all feels like this started so long ago and maybe in a way it did. Maybe it started that day he stole the hubcaps. Maybe he should have listened to Dick and you about Bruce. "After fucking everything, I just can't believe Bruce couldn't fucking kill the Joker." Jason lets out a scoff. "He fucking beat me to death with a fucking crowbar and Bruce just...fucks off somewhere." Jason scoffs again, barely able to hide the crack in his voice.
The car falls dead silent as Dick glances in the rearview mirror at you before you lean forward in between the boys. You and Dick are on the verge of exploding. This really cannot be Jason's entire motive. How the hell doesn't he know? You look at Jason who's giving you a confused and annoyed expression. You look back to Dick who is clearly trying to figure out how he's supposed to burst this bubble without it leading to another fistfight.
"I got it." You state before looking to Jason. "Who exactly do you think killed the Joker?" You blink at him with your brows raised, really hoping Jason's motive is not entirely linked to this little bit of information.
Jason eyes you, looking to the side and then back at you. The look you're giving him with Dick glancing at him has him feeling like Crane may have lied to him about that, too. But, Bruce wouldn't throw his morals away, right? Not for someone like Jason. Not for Jason. Bruce didn't kill the Joker.
"Uh...Crane said it was one of the prisoners who dressed like the Bat?" Jason lets out a scoff, playing it off in hopes this conversation is not going where he thinks it's going.
You look back at Dick who looks like he might have an aneurysm. Jason has been deadset on his new form of justice which you agree with but...if he thinks Bruce didn't kill the Joker for him, maybe that's his motive. You always felt his hatred towards Dick was just some weird rivalry amplified by Crane but if Jason thought no one avenged him...maybe that's it. You almost cringe at the idea of having to burst his bubble.
"You hear it, right?" You ask Jason as you look back at him. "Like..." You pause, scrunching your nose. "Crane, inmate dressing as the Bat."
There is no fucking way Bruce actually killed someone, the Joker, for Jason.
"Did....did Bruce actually do it?" Jason huffs as if he expects you and Dick to be messing with him as some sort of cruel payback or even to get him back on the "good" side.
"Walked into my room with a bloody crowbar." Dick states.
He cannot believe of all lies for Jason to believe from Crane, he had to believe that one. Crane is a manipulative asshole who's had Jason drugged and under his thumb ever since coming back, but how does Jason actually believe this? Even though Bruce has always been completely against murder in any instance, Jason should have known it was a lie. All of Gotham knows it was actually Batman.
"He actually did it?" Jason asks but this time, there's a sense of shock and remorse in his voice.
Every single part of him should feel relieved that Bruce would do this for him. Bruce Wayne, Batman, the same guy who has preached about not being judge, jury, and executioner, killed someone for him. Bruce killed The Joker for beating Jason to death and Jason should feel relieved and thankful but instead, he just feels guilty. Maybe wanting Bruce to avenge his death was never the thing he really wanted.
"Yeah, Jay." You nod your head, your voice quiet and sad. "Fuck Bruce, but I told you he loved you."
"Fuck." Jason lets out a groan, resting his head back on the headrest. "I really fucking thought he wouldn't do it."
Jason always thought Bruce would never break that moral code. He said it would be too easy to keep going. It's always just that one and then there would be another who's just as bad. The lines would start to blur and he wouldn't be able to stop. But, Jason did think if he ever were going to break it, it would have been for Dick, not Jason. He had no idea he actually meant that much to Bruce and now Bruce up and leaving Gotham without a trace makes sense. It wasn't that Crane drove him away or some sort of hideaway until things cooled down after losing his son. It was the grief of it all. The blame Bruce has to feel, knowing he led Jason into the road of Robin.
"Was that your only motivation for this?" Dick questions, almost not wanting to know the answer.
"Of course not." Jason sneers. "But...it didn't help." Jason grits his teeth. "I don't fucking know." Jason crosses his arms, not more aggravated over the whole thing than ever.
Crane took everything from him. And Jason trusted him.
"It's okay if you're mad at him for not saving you and thinking he didn't avenge your death." You state softly. "But now you know."
"I'm not though." Jason states as he nearly cuts you off, catching you both off guard. "I'm not fucking mad at him for not saving me." Jason's voice trails off. "I...fuck it. Forget it, alright? Crane lied to me about that, too and here we are." Jason lets out a scoff as he shakes his head before turning to look out his window.
Dick always felt like Jason was the type to hold a grudge, get unreasonable mad about things beyond his control. But, in the time since the tower, he got to know him better, finding out that wasn't entirely true. Jason's statement just now proves that. It was never about Bruce not saving him or even avenging him. It was him being alone. Thrown to the side the second things started to get messy. It was always about him feeling abandoned and less than, not good enough.
And you can see that, too.
You look to Dick and for once, Dick looks worried. "Don't worry," You start, earning a look from Jason. "I'll kill Crane for you." You offer him a soft smile that almost makes Jason laugh.
"Really?" Dick questions with annoyance.
"Don't pretend like you don't want him dead." You chortle.
"Yeah, right." Jason scoffs. "He's too good for it." Jason nearly chortles with you just to mock Dick.
"Hey!" Dick challenges. "Crane is bad, he just needs to remain locked away."
"No, you want him dead." You nod your head. "He killed your brother, drove your adoptive dad away, almost killed me, killed Hank, has been actively trying to get you killed for two weeks, and turned all of Gotham against the Titans. You want him dead. I can tell."
"You got a fucking sixth sense for right now?" Jason quips, this time actually letting a laugh slip from the bottom of his lungs.
"No." You chortle. "Dick isn't as stern when he talks about not killing Crane. He always has this look about killing being wrong and he always says the same thing, he doesn't do either with Crane."
"He's just a bad person." Dick defends himself, not even wanting to humor your theory behind this.
"No shit, man." Jason huffs. "I fucking died and he probably set the whole thing up."
"So did I." Dick states back.
"Gar died, you both died, Donna died and all of you came back. We all just taking turns? Where should I stand in line?" You quip with the intention of not letting them even start an argument.
"Not funny." Jason and Dick say at the same time, making themselves grimace.
You burst into a fit of laughter. "I told you, Jay. You two--"
"Shut the fuck up." Jason hits his head on the back of the headrest, closing his eyes. The last thing he wants to hear is that him and Dick even have one similarity but his voice isn't harsh and there might even the smallest hint of a smirk on his lips.
You lean back in your seat with the shake of your head and a gentle smile. This is going to eat at him for a while but you hope Bruce will come back. Maybe after you take out Crane, Dick will be able to find him and him and Jason can go get him. Maybe Jason getting to see Bruce after all of this will ease some of his guilt. You've had talks about it. You know him being fooled into thinking Bruce didn't avenge him isn't his entire motive. Jason always felt like Bruce could do more and this is doing more. It doesn't make it easy for him or make him feel better, but you know there's always more to Jason's motives than something surface-level.
Once you get to the armory, the three of you enter with ease. There are no guards this time. There's no one even here, just the three of you which allows you to walk right up to the vault. The entire city is in a bit of chaos, using up any force that might have been here. It's not ideal for everyone else, but it is definitely beneficial to you, Jason, and Dick right about now.
You reach the vault door where Jason takes the lead, lining the door with a sort of liquid that then ignites and breaks the seals of the door, fire almost engulfing the door until it hits the floor. Jason is the first one to step inside, his gun pointed forward with a flashlight on top. You follow right behind him with your own flashlight and then Dick.
"Let's go." Dick says once he gets in front of you and Jason, leading the way to case you need.
Dick opens the case only for nothing to be inside besides a book called Collected Poems by Will Auden.
"I don't get it. There's supposed to be like two hundred ampules." Jason states with frustration. "What the fuck is that?"
Dick reaches forward and grabs the book. "Bright and darkened lands of the Earth." Dick states, looking at the book.
You and Jason look between each other and then back to Dick. Of all things for Dick to understand, a random book of poems is the thing he understands. Of course, he does.
"What are you talking about?" Jason asks.
"Crane's poem." Dick states as he opens the book, flipping to somewhere in the middle. "His war on Gotham."
Jason snatches the book back, you looking over his arm to see the page Dick opened.
"Fuck." Jason groans.
Crane's already beat you here. It has to be some sort of gloat thing he's doing, like he's already two steps ahead of you. He's been two steps ahead this whole time and his war on Gotham is now in full swing. What are you all supposed to do if you can't locate the bombs and disable them? What if Crane is already out there ready to blow up the city?
"What are we supposed to do now?" You ask, looking up to Dick.
Dick pauses for a second, looking to the empty case and then back to you and Jason. "Let's go. I have an idea." Dick says quickly before he turns and heads towards the exit.
The three of you head back to the car, taking back your seats as Dick immediately starts driving. You're watching him and you're fascinated by how quickly Dick can change directions. Not a single part of you is surprised but you are fascinated by it. He was trained by Batman. To be out there, as a vigilante, you have to know how to pivot immediately. Dick is really good at it. So, is Jason. It's something the two of them have in common. The ability to adapt to anything and everything, even when everything is covered in bloody chaos.
"One poem, multiple bombs." Dick starts. "Clues to where the bombs are are placed in the poems."
"What's the plan?" Jason asks, his stare on Dick hoping Dick does actually have some sort of backup plan.
"Find some supers and stop the bombs from going off." Dick says it almost casually as if it's something so simple and easy.
"Titans?" Jason scoffs. "What are they gonna do when they see me?"
Jason knows there is no way the Titans are going to welcome him back with open arms and trust him just because Dick and you say he's safe now. Gar might but Kory, Conner, and Rachel won't. He's been actively targeting them and he killed Hank. They're not just going to forget that and move on like nothing happened. They'll likely try and kill him the second they see him at this point. He got Dick killed.
"They're not." Dick states, revving the engine before pulling over at a curb.
"What's going on?" Jason asks once the car is stopped.
"Get out." Dick states.
"Out?" Jason asks, hurt covering his voice.
"I can't bring you back to the Titans. It'll cause a war." Dick explains. "But I do need you."
"So, I'm your dirty little secret?" Jason quips.
"You want to help us, this is the way it's gonna be. I can only fight one war at a time."
You remain silent, not daring to get in the middle of the two of them. It's the smart decision because there's no way everyone will trust him. Everyone will start fighting and arguing and nothing will get done. Crane will win just because there's a fight between the Titans, which is probably what he wants anyway. It might hurt Jason, but it is the only way this can even work.
"When do you need me?" Jason agrees with a bit of reluctance in his voice.
"If you don't hear from me before, meet me back here in three hours. Got it?" Dick asks.
"Yeah." Jason says quietly.
"You, too." Dick looks back at you.
"Why do I have to get out?" You let out a scoff as Jason quickly looks back at you, wondering what you did this time to piss off the rest of the Titans.
"Safety, precautions, you two work well together." Dick states. "Three hours."
"Got it." You nod your head once before you exit the vehicle with Jason.
Once your doors are shut, Dick drives off. You look over to him and Jason dodges your stare, looking to the side. It's the shame that's eating at him. Falling for all of Crane's lies, getting Dick killed, having to be kept a secret. He was once a Titan and now they can't know he's even helping. Instead, Dick has you here because you work well together, sure, but also to make sure Jason doesn't back out of it. He's not even mad because he'd do the same thing but it hurts and he feels so painfully guilty for everything. He's destroyed everything.
"Come on." Jason jerks his head to the right. "Safe house is close." Jason starts walking, helmet in hand while Sam follows him.
The silence between you builds like a sturdy brick wall. It's in the silence that you have time to process everything. It's always the silence that acts as a marinade for all things fueled with anger and misery. Dick might be alive and Jason might be alive but Jason is the reason Dick died in the first place. He could have stopped. For two seconds, Jason could have called a truce and he didn't and Dick died for it. There never would have been a crowd. The kid with the gun wouldn't have been there and Dick wouldn't have gotten shot. Jason didn't pull the trigger, but he didn't have to. Dick stood there and told Jason the reason Dick won't kill him is because he knows what it's like to die. Well, so does Jason so why the fuck didn't Jason take that into consideration?
You know it was the drug but it bites and gnaws at you anyway because watching everyone you care about die is hacking away at you.
"You alright?" Jason finally asks. You being completely silent never sits quite well with him. There is nothing that sounds more deadly than your silence in moments like these.
"I don't know, Jay. I just watched Dick die and come back to life. What the fuck do you think?" You snap without processing your thought.
"The fuck you mad at me for now?" Jason snaps back. "I didn't pull the fucking trigger. I went there to talk." Jason barks, really not wanting to be reprimanded at the moment. He knows.
"You know what? You might as well have, Jason." You snap, your steps becoming harder against the pavement. "You could have stopped at any point and told him you just wanted to talk and explain it but you didn't. Not one part of you decided to do that. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why. So, Dick was killed because of that. You didn't do it. But that kid thinks he did the right thing to protect you. Dick wasn't even the enemy. So, that's shit." You let your own anger get the best of you, not even to tear him a part for it but just because you need to yell about it.
"It's not my fucking fault." Jason groans. "I didn't ask anyone to do that." Jason defends himself, knowing he's wrong.
"You don't have to!" You finally yell. "People will follow you like a damn cult because you command attention when you walk into a room. You are charismatic and enthralling. They have always been some of your best qualities but in this instance, it wasn't good. They believe in you, Jay." You look back over to him as Jason hangs his head, watching his feet hit the wet pavement. "But, Crane turned the city against the Titans, to follow you." You look forward as you shake your head. "I know I told you to work with him, but it didn't have to get to you and Dick fighting and him dying. It never had to end that way. You could turn them back to the right side." Your voice goes quiet with your last sentence earning you a glance from Jason.
"I didn't think he'd listen, alright? He was the one that set up the flash bang and came in ready for a fight. I didn't think it was any use and I didn't know those fucking people would be there. I..." Jason swallows his own words, not wanting to get into it.
You being willing to die for him is one thing. He hates it. He'd never let you if he could help it, especially having experienced what it's like to die. He would never. But, you love him. You have seen him at his good and bad. You've seen everything in between. Jason has fully exposed all of himself to you in every way anyone possibly could. And you would die for him. You would kill for him. No questions asked because you know Jason Todd better than he knows himself half the time. But these random people? They don't know him. Why the fuck would they kill someone for him? Why would they do that?
"I'm sorry, alright?" Jason's voice comes back down. "I know. I could have fucking done something and I didn't." Jason's saw clenches. "I'm fucking trying." His words are firm but there's a hopelessness in them.
"I know." You say quietly.
"I have a lot to make up for and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do but I promise, I'm trying. I just...fucked it up." Jason's breath leaves his lips, the fog coming out in a haunting blow.
"I know...I just..." You shake your head. "I'm just really worried about all of you, all the time. You, Gar, Dick. You guys are the closest people to me besides Molly and I just...you're very important to me and this could be something so good and it was." You suck in a breath, the cold air starting to dry out your throat. "And I think we all deserve it. The Titans."
"Yeah..." Jason's shoulders slouch forward. "You do." Jason says quietly, keeping his stare ahead him even as you look over to him.
You've always deserved better than anything Gotham has given you. All this city has done is take everything you care about. And you only even started killing because of him. Even when Jason knows there's more to it, that was your breaking point. You're not shunned from being a Titan and maybe that'd be better for you.
"If you want to be a Titan after all of this, you should." Jason states in his way where he tries to sound really casual to hide his real feelings.
You snap your attention back to him. "Why would I do that?" You nearly scoffs at the very idea, especially coming from him.
"You're good at it and you like it. They like you and you fit in." Jason answers with ease, as if it were something he'd thought about more than a few times. "Why trap yourself here if you don't have to?"
It's as if the air is being pulled from your lungs by rusty hooks. How could he say that? He's here. Home is here. Molly is here. It's not a trap being in Gotham. Coming back, coming home, was a choice you made all on your own and not a single ounce of you even regrets it. You can't regret it. You got to reunite with Molly and while it has been agonizing lately, you had some of your best and favorite moments with Jason here. You got to make a different life again. It felt like home again. Here. Not in San Francisco. Why would he tell you to be a Titan?
"You want me to be a Titan?" You ask, doing your best to hide the hurt in your voice.
"Not up to me." Jason shrugs his shoulders casually, still keeping his stare away from you.
"That's not what I asked." You bite back, keeping your stare on him.
Jason looks back over to you as you reach the building. Jason opens the door for you, leading you in first before he shuts and locks the door behind you. You stand directly in front of him so he can't move once the door is shut. He doesn't get to avoid this conversation when he's the one that brought it up. If he wants you to leave, then he can tell you and then deal with the fact you will not.
"Answer me." You demand.
Jason looks to the right before looking back at you. He always thought you would anyway. After everything, it only makes sense to him for you to leave. You said San Francisco caused you so much pain that you didn't want to be there anymore. But, Gotham has caused you so much pain, you're not even the same person you were a month ago. He doesn't want you to leave but he wants you to be happy and he worries that just won't be here. Not with the track record.
"I always thought you would." Jason shrugs as his voice almost trails off.
"Because?" You search as your brows furrow. "What? I'd get bored of you? Tired of you?" Your eyes scan his face, knowing all of his insecurities. He can't hide from you like he can with everyone else.
Jason looks to the ground and back to you with the shrug of his shoulders. "No." Jason answers. "You didn't come back for me. Thought you'd figure it out and just...go back."
You narrow your eyes. "That's not the full reason." You say softly. "Tell me."
Jason shifts his weight, favoring his bad leg as it starts to ache. He shakes his head with defeat. "Just want you to be happy." Jason says honestly. "This place is fucking shit and you know it. And you hate Bruce but you don't wanna give this up. Bruce doesn't like other vigilantes in the city and..." Jason's heart breaks as he watches your expression fall. "Yeah, I thought you'd leave." Jason nods his head.
"Jay, I told--"
"Because I died." Jason cuts you off with a scoff. "That day on the roof, I fucking destroyed you. I died and it completely destroyed you. When you found out about the drug and Crane, then everything else, I thought you'd fucking leave."
"Yeah," You nod quickly as your eyes turn glassy. "It did destroy me. The whole damn thing hurt but that doesn't mean I want to leave. It doesn't mean I want to be a Titan." Your voice is almost pleading with him to not push without you ever saying it. "This is my home and Molly is here and my mom is buried here and you are here. I don't care if we're not together, you're here. The city is a shitshow so it needs us. It needs us and Batman to help."
"Are you sure?" Jason questions. "I mean, look at this place. I just want you to be happy. I don't fucking know."
You let out a sigh. "You didn't answer the question." You state as Jason opens his mouth. "I asked if you wanted me to. You just said you always thought I'd leave."
Jason shakes his head. "Of course not." Jason lets out a scoff, not even trying to lie or dodge it anymore.
"Good cause I'm not leaving, Jay." You nod your head. "I was always happiest here with you." Your words are barely above a whisper as you look to the floor. "So," You pull in a breath. "You don't have that to worry about. I was gonna stay anyway, no plans to leave again. Tired of running." Your voice turns airy, almost hopeful with your last sentence.
"I don't get you." Jason lets out a laugh that's filled with relief.
"Yeah, you do." You laugh softly. "You're the only one whoever did." You shrug your shoulders, moving past him to the stairs. "You know, you and Dick could probably bond over your whole dying experience now. Probably bring you closer." You offer with sarcasm earning a groan and then a laugh as Jason walks over to you.
"Oh, yeah? We sit down for a family dinner at the manor and tell Bruce all about it? Like a fucking field trip?" Jason quips right back as the two of you make your way upstairs.
"Yeah!" You laugh. "Hear me out, it might freak Bruce out which would be funny."
Jason shakes his head with a soft chuckle. "Us getting along? Yeah, that'll freak Bruce out."
You nudge him lightly. "That'll freak everyone out, actually."
The two of you go upstairs into Jason's makeshift bedroom. You head over to the window to look at the people down below. Everyone is fending for themselves and there are still fires in the streets. There aren't any cars this time. There are always cars.
You lean against the wall and slide down, keeping your head turned towards the window as Jason keeps his distance, watching you closely as he traps himself in his own head again. While you have been on Jason's side, you've also actively been trying to make sure the Titans are at a distance and safe from Jason. You can say you've always been on Jason's side this whole time and maybe that's true, but you also were entirely in the middle. It was never Titans or Jason for you. You were always determined to cut the wire. It was always going to be all of them even if it killed you.
Jason remembers you willing to die for him, how terrifying that was. No one in his entire life was ever willing to do that. Maybe Bruce would have but it's something Jason isn't sure of. He was sure of you. Deathstroke proved that and you confirmed it that night. You would die for him because you love him and Jason always thought that was absurd, even if he'd die for you, too. Dying for you seemed to be the easiest thing he would do if it came to it. But you dying for him? Insane. It had to be insanity but these past two weeks have taught him something else entirely.
You would just die for anyone you loved if that's what it took.
There is not a doubt in Jason's mind that you would put your life in danger for Gar. Of course, you would. He's Gar. Everyone would probably do it. There's Molly and Jason actually feels bad for anyone who would even think of coming after her. You'd die for Tim because of course you would. You care about him and Tim is determined and smart. Krypto is no question. You loved Donna and thought she was the coolest Titan, that's easy. You thought Kory was one of the coolest and most badass people you'd ever met while also being immensely kind. You told Jason once that the Titans need her. So, you'd die for her, too. Jason isn't entirely sure of the big reason you'd save Conner or Dawn or Hank but he knows you would. And then there's Dick. You'd save Dick because he's the leader. Because he saved your life. Because you look up to him. Because he's important to everyone.
It's not that you would die for Jason. It's that you would die for anyone you love if it ever came to it. Jason would be lying if he said he doesn't admire that. Though, he wonders if that's what will be your last straw or if you'll understand one day that you shouldn't have to die for the people you care about. Jason swore he'd die for you. That part was easy but the more time that passes, the more he's realizing he wants to live for you. Living is harder. He hopes you learn that, too. You deserve to want to live for someone and for yourself.
"What's with the symbol?" You snap Jason from his thoughts.
"What?" Jason questions, almost doing a double take.
"The rip off bat symbol. Your idea or Crane's?" You ask bluntly as your eyes dart between his and the red symbol on his chest.
Jason looks down to his chest where the red symbol stares up at him. "Mine." Jason chuckles softly, a devilish grin pushing itself onto his lips. "Why?" He asks and he walks over to the other side of the window from you, sliding down the wall and matching your position.
You let out a soft laugh as you shrug. "Funny that's what you would pick given you thought he didn't kill the Joker for you." You pull in a breath. "Why?"
Jason shrugs. "Fuck Bruce." Jason answers easily as if the answer were so simple anyone could have figured it out, as if he isn't neglecting the entire explanation.
The bat symbol represents Bruce's way of thinking. Inciting fear into the hearts of everyone so they don't do bad things. It works, sometimes. But, it doesn't work enough. The bat symbol represents a certain moral compass where even under the worst of circumstances, killing is still wrong. It represents Bruce. Jason wanted something to almost mock him, a fuck you and watch this to Bruce. Fear doesn't always work. It's not the best way. For Jason, he needed something to spite Bruce, prove his methods will be better because there should never be another Jason. Or Dick. Or any of them. No one should have to suffer the way all of them have. It was to represent everything Bruce refused to do for the greater good.
But Bruce did kill The Joker so Jason feels lost.
But then you offer this warm smile, one that says you understand every single thought in his mind without him ever having to explain.
"Yeah..." You sigh softly. "Fuck Bruce." You laugh softly. "I like it, by the way. Bruce only killed him for you. He never would have under any other circumstances." You pause before you tilt your head to the left quickly, raise your brows. "Well, he might have for Dick, too. But, it would have to be one of you. So...good for you, Jay." You nod your head softly.
"Don't think it's fucked?" Jason chortles.
"Oh, no it definitely is." You nod quickly. "I mean, just when I think I've got some daddy issues, I meet you and Dick. It's definitely fucked. But, like it anyway." You smile but Jason doesn't quite match it. There's a sadness washing itself over his face. "I think Gotham will like it, too." You say quietly.
"Yeah? Why?" Jason repositions, pulling his right leg to his chest. "Because I'm charismatic and enthralling?" A touch of a grin finds itself on his lips.
"Fuck you, no." You laugh softly. "They're brainwashed but...I think it took one video because you've already been out there controlling the drug trade, looking to get into guns. You've taken out some really terrible people and are trying to get this shit under control. They already liked you."
"I also helped get a drug onto the streets and contributed to everything with Crane." Jason points out.
"Yeah, but you've been distancing yourself and you also tried to save Nightwing. I mean, you tried to kill him, too but you just tried to save him and they'll remember that. They'll figure out Crane brainwashed them and see you were also brainwashed."
"I guess we'll see." Jason lets out a scoff. "But, thanks." Jason offers you a nod.
"Just being honest." You pull in a breath as you move your stare back to the window. "You gonna keep Red Hooding after this is over then?" You look back at him with hopeful eyes.
Jason shrugs. "Yeah, maybe." Jason nods his head softly. "Especially with Bruce fucking MIA." Jason gives you a soft smile. "You gonna keep this shit up?"
"Absolutely." You nod with confidence. "You're right, I do like it. The vigilantism, I mean." Your smile turns kind and loving. "You're a good Red Hood. You're gonna help a lot of people, Jay." Your smile is warm and honest, filling Jason's entire chest with hope.
"So are you." Jason matches the smile before the two of you look to the window, falling into a comfortable silence.
You get a text from Dick, apparently, the towers are back and running which is a relief but according to his text, Crane released some of his smoke downtown. He leaves the text with a warning for you and Jason to stay where you are until the smoke dies down or until he says otherwise. So, the two of you seem to be stuck here for the night.
You're safe here, entirely. You don't have to worry about the smoke or anyone coming to kill you. You're safe from it all for the first time in weeks and it's as if, weirdly as it is, you both can breathe freely. It doesn't feel like your very breath can shatter the illusion of peace. You both are allowed to breathe freely and openly.
You let your mind wander anywhere but to the disaster outside. The more you're in these situations, the more you're learning to compartmentalize it. There is no choice in this. It has to be done otherwise it'll eat you. You wonder how Dick is able to do it so well. Surely that's how he's so good at being Nightwing. He isn't heartless, he just shelves what he needs to until after a mission. It's something you need to be better at and so you sit here tonight and try to do it. You focus on anything but the disaster.
And then there's Jason who finds his mind going to your previous conversation a few minutes ago. You think he can be a hero again. He can use Red Hood for good, do it his own way. He lifts his head, looking over at you and how peaceful you look. You really do trust him. You really do just believe in him, after everything, there's something in you that believes in him even when you absolutely should not.
Jason keeps his eyes on you, wondering if you're right. He hopes you are. Jason just wants to help. That's what he wants to do. That's all he's wanted to do. That was supposed to be the plan before Crane showed his true motive. Jason wants to help the innocent people Bruce overlooks. Sex workers, sexual assault victims, domestic violence survivors, children who are put in all of these situations. A lot of them never make it onto Bruce's radar. He's busy dealing with everything else and a lot more of it happens in places like Crime Alley, somewhere Bruce doesn't go unless it's the anniversary of his parents' death. Someone needs to keep them safe, too. He wants to control the crime because he does believe that's the right way. No one can stop crime. That's impossible. But, Jason thinks he can control it. It's worth a shot. Someone needs to try. That's what he wants to do.
Maybe he can do it.
"I can feel you staring at me, Jay." You state as you look back over at him.
"Sorry." Jason mutters, feeling heat rush over his cheeks as he looks back outside.
"What's going inside that head of yours?" You ask.
Jason looks back to you, letting a beat pass before he settles on what to say. "Thanks for believing in me and being here." Jason pulls in a breath.
"Always." You say softly before it goes quiet again.
Time ticks by and it's you that ends up glancing towards Jason. He's holding his bad leg to his chest, seeming to be absentmindedly massaging the muscle of his thigh with his thumbs as he keeps his stare out the window. The white streak reflects off the lights from the window and the bruises are bright red from Dick's fists and enimga sticks. But, he doesn't look stressed this time. He looks content for once. And you always think there's hope for him but his position confirms it.
Which, lets your mind wander back to how you and him were. It wanders back to the night outside Excellent Gotham. It was the right thing to do. There is good, there is bad, and there is all of this grey in between. Something might be the right thing to do, for the greater good, to save someone, but that doesn't always make it fair or just or painless. It was the right thing to do, to save Jason. But, you wonder in the silence of the night, what happens after then. The bell has been rung and you're dealing with it but it doesn't feel good. Being around him feels like you're trying to breathe through water. You don't want to give up on you and him. You're gonna take out Crane, the Titans are going to leave, Bruce will probably come back, and it'll start to fall back into a new normal. And you want to know what kind of new normal that's going to be.
You want the new normal to still be you and him.
But you don't even want to ask about it. You hurt him and it just doesn't feel right to ask even if it'll gnaw at you until you do.
"I can feel you staring." Jason quips, looking at you, saying it on purpose.
You roll your eyes but the smile never reaches your eyes before it falls. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." You mock him, waving a hand haphazardly at him before you get to your feet and stretch before you lean your back against the wall. You look back at Jason and you can tell by the raise of his brows and his wide eyes, he's expecting you to elaborate. You let out a defeated sigh. "Hey, Jay?"
"Yes?" Jason answers expectantly.
"Where do we stand?" You ask bluntly. "I mean....you and me." You nod once. "After all of this and everything. I'll follow your lead." You nod a few times. "Ball's in your court this time."
As much as you would like to go to the roof and scream your lungs out about how much you want to be with him and how much you love him, you know you can't. None of that is fair to him. Jason Todd was murdered and then came back from the dead. He was used and abused and manipulated. He's not fine and he should be able to learn how to live now, rediscover who he is after all of this if he needs to. You telling him you want to go right back to where you were before he died, sounds cruel. It's as if you won't give him a choice, like you expect him to just be normal and you don't. So, you ask him and you let it be his decision because it should be. It was you that ended things anyway and it was you that betrayed him, more than he betrayed you is the way you see it.
Jason feels his heart in his throat. He hates this but he knows there is no other choice. He swears this one fucking time, he is not doing it to push. He is doing it for himself and for you. He owes you more. He owes you more than he has ever given you. He owes himself more.
You have said it over and over that Jason is loved and he is not alone, at the very least, he has you and he is loved by you. There is not a single day that he is not eternally grateful for you. But, that's not enough. It's not enough because, after everything, Jason still feels like he is not enough. He watches the chaos he has brought on all of these people who he cares about and who care about him. Someone who is enough, doesn't do that. And he died. The trauma of that isn't going to go away because you love him and he loves you. He desperately wishes it were so simple, but it's not.
Jason swore he would never hurt you but he thinks about that night outside of Excellent Gotham and how it looked like it was ripping you to shreds to end things and to give up on him, even if you never meant it. You didn't deserve it. He needs to figure himself out and sort out some of this pain in his chest before it metastasizes more. He needs to just exist for a second and work on who he is after coming back. He owes it to himself and then he owes it to you. It's not fair to continue something if he isn't sure he'll be okay in the end of this. That's not fair to either of you.
So, as much as it physically pains him, he knows where you stand.
"Uh..." Jason pulls in a breath and you know. Jason doesn't stutter often. "I really fucking hurt you." Jason nods his head.
"I hurt you..." You hang your head in shame before looking back to him.
"Yeah, deserved it though." Jason lets out a scoff before he shakes his head. "Look," Jason starts as he pushes himself off the wall and walks over to you, standing in front of you. "I don't want to ever hurt you again." Jason states and you know there is a but coming. This is not going to end the way you dreamed it would. "So, I think-think we need to sort our shit out."
You hang your head, feeling the lump in your throat. It was as if the night you ended things, it wasn't quite real. He was high and you were mad. Then you rescued him and it's been kind of weird ever since. It didn't feel quite like you broke up but it didn't feel like you were together. It has felt like this weird state of in-between where you're tripping over each other trying to find the right footing. And now, it seems you've found it in an unknown territory. It's scary.
It's scary because after being rescued, Jason is one of the only things you know. And you know that it's going to be good for you to find yourself without him, find out who you are outside of Jason and the Titans. It's for the best and you know. But, you also know Jason and Jason Todd has always loved to avoid things that are good for him. Good to him. What if he avoids this forever and this is really it?
"I'm sorry." Jason says quietly.
"It's okay." You nod up at him. "You're, uh, you're right. You died."
As much as you saw it coming, you feel blindsided. You are not together. He is not breaking up with you because you did it first. But, it feels that way anyway. He is right. You need time and space to heal and deal with everything that's happened. Maybe you could do that together but maybe you need to figure out who you are now. You are not the same people you were before he died. Jason Todd died that day and so did you. You need to just exist without each other even if it is the most painful thing either of you will ever do.
Jason nods. "Yeah," He scoffs. "It's not fucking fair to you or me if we jump into this shit again."
You nod softly. "Yeah...you're right." You push off the wall, closing the distance between you. "For what it's worth, I'm still sorry for everything that's happened to you, Jay." You sniffle softly.
"Thanks. I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you, too." Jason lets out a soft sigh, looking to the floor before he looks back to you. He will find his way back to you because you're everything he's ever wanted and he wants to deserve you one day. "Friends?" He asks, sticking out his hand with the quick raise of his brows.
"For now." You take his hand in yours. "We'll find our way back." You say softly but with certainty.
"Hope so." Jason quips right back with a cheeky grin. "I'll miss you being up my ass all the time."
You roll your eyes as a smile starts to fade over your lips. "Shut the fuck up." You groan, making Jason chuckle softly. "You're my favorite person, ya know?"
"And you're mine." Jason says simply, without hesitance.
The room falls silent, the two of you still holding each other's hand right in the middle of you. It's as if you aren't sure how to backtrack. How do you go back to being friends? You were never meant to be friends. There was always something more there. Something strong and tender, throbbing and beating like a desperate heart pumping blood through an open artery. You have stained each other with every scar and crumb of yours. How do you take it back? How do you cleanse yourselves and try again? Can you even do it?
Jason's grip on your hand tightens and he doesn't want to leave it like that. As friends. The very idea is bitter and stale. He knows it's for the best. For the first time in his life, he is doing something to better himself and protect you. It's not just self-destruction this time. He wants to be better for himself. He never wants to get here again. And to do that, he needs to do it on his own. Jason won't risk dragging you down with him again as he drowns himself. He's not sure if he'll come out the other end alive this time, but he's willing to try for himself. And then for you. But, that doesn't make this whole thing easier. He still loves you. He still wants you.
You feel it, too. You know he wants to reach forward, pull you into him just for old times sake. You're going to defeat Crane tonight, one way or another, and then you'll go your separate ways for a little bit...as friends. But you think about the last time you had a proper kiss, before you knew you'd end up here. He was alive again. It was a kiss of relief. That's not how you want it to end. You fully believe you will come together again but what if you don't?
The idea makes your stomach twist into knots. And you know Jason isn't going to act on it, out of respect for you. It's the way his hand squeezes yours, the way he won't let go and how he has that dark but kind look in his eyes. The way he is intentionally holding his stance just enough away as if he'll walk into a bear trap with one step forward. He'll never act on it out of respect for your space so when Jason finally starts to move away, you pull him back.
Jason eyes you and then the very corner of your mouth twitches up as you squeeze his hand, pulling him just a little closer to you. You move your eyes up with the raise of your brows before looking back to him and then you shrug effortlessly.
Jason shakes his head. "Fuck it." Jason lets out in a single breath before dropping your hand and cupping your face, slamming his lips against yours.
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I'm not sure if any of this is as important to say as I feel like it is, but just in case, here it is.
Idk about you, but I'm really tired of having things taken from me because the cc's were abusive. I say this with an emphasis on the fact that supporting their victims and condemning their actions is far more important, that I'm not giving that man a single cent anymore. The most important thing the community can do is support the people he hurt. But It's still gonna hurt to purge my playlist because we, as a community, were lied to. And something I derived comfort from, especially in the wake of recent personal events, has been taken from me. Not by the community or by the people coming out; by him and his actions.
So seriously thank you for creating a space for people to talk about what's going on, because it's so easy to feel guilty right now for having feelings about this situation. Especially as a neurodivergent person whose main comfort is music, including music (and YouTube videos) he made.
I just feel like it's important to put this out there. The community as a whole needs to support the victims, but it's also okay to feel betrayed and it's okay to look at his songs in your playlist, dreading deleting them, for a while. No one will hate you for that. You're not a bad person for that. They're just songs or videos, but they're content that mattered to some of us. How dare he ruin that for all of us. How dare he.
Now that I've written a whole entire novel, please take care of yourself. I know I'm an internet stranger but I almost didn't write this because I think that it's important to emphasize that while I'm glad to see Tumblr users creating a space to talk for those of us who don't post and such, I also think it's way more important that your blog be a safe space for you yourself.
- a rambly anon 🪐
yeah, trust me, I'm fucking sick of this too. you're not selfish for feeling upset about deleting his songs from your playlist or not being able to watch vods of his for comfort anymore. you are not a bad person for having an attachment to someone who lied to his audience about who he was. you are human. you are allowed to be upset.
also, to veer slightly from your point but to bring something else up, while I know there are varying opinions on the community in this I personally don't think I want to let this make me stop hoping for people to be good. yes, it might seem like an endless pattern of people you like being revealed to be assholes. and for some people, they might want to leave the community to avoid that disappointment again. for me, I'm not going to put cc's up on a pedestal and expect them to be great people, but I'm not going to expect the worst from them either. keep my expectations realistic, but not pessimistic. content creators are flawed human beings like the rest of us, and sometimes they can be really shitty people, but sometimes they can be good people too. and I'm always going to hope for the latter.
and thank you for thinking of me. honestly the reason I've slowed down answering asks the past few days is precisely because I've been trying to take care of myself. I've gone up and down in terms of how I'm doing, and when I'm not feeling up to it I don't touch my inbox.
and despite everything that's happened this morning, I've had a good day. I got myself a cinnamon roll. I'm drinking green tea and it's sunny out. I saw flowers blooming on the side of the road and it made me smile. focusing on the little things, you know?
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Comfort
Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Word Count: 1.3k
Notes: High school Au, fluff, comfort, 1st person
Summary: Reader is dragged along to a sleepover at the Maximoff's house. However when she gets there Wanda isn't her usual happy-go-lucky self. She seeks comfort in the reader, which is a shock to the entire group.
Masterlist | Pt2 | Pt3
" Y/n?"
I pulled my gaze away from my phone only to be met with my whole friend group staring at me.
" Hm," I gave them my attention.
" Sleepover at the Maximoff's, you're going," Natasha told me rather than asking.
" What if I had plans?"
Tony laughed," We are the only people you interact with."
Tony's words cause me to roll my eyes," By choice, Richie Rich."
I didn't have a problem staying at the Maximoff household. In fact, they had the second-nicest house in the group (only second to Tony). I just had to keep my mean streak alive.
" So we'll see you there?" Wanda asked enthusiastically.
She was my polar opposite in the group. While she was the popular, bubbly, cheerleader; I was the sarcastic, yet quiet, pessimistic one of the group. She was the yin to my yang in a way.
Before I could answer, Natasha stepped in again," I'll pick her up at 6."
Wanda was still waiting for my own confirmation. I nodded and let out a heavy sigh," I mean, it doesn't sound like I have much of a choice."
A smile presented itself over her features," Good, it's not the same without you."
I looked away from the group to hide the light blush on my face from Wanda's kind words.
" Yes, because Y/n has so much budding personality," Clint chimed in.
" Clint, all of your personality comes from Laura, maybe we should invite her instead?"
Bruce broke out in laughter," You poked the bear and got the claws, my friend."
" So what time? What should I bring? Will there be adult supervision or?"
I tuned out the conversation as Steve began to ramble. My eyes unintentionally shifted over to Wanda. She was beautiful, way out of my league. Even just for friendship.
I had a crush on her for about as long as I could remember. No one knew about it, thankfully. I'm sure Natasha had her suspicions, but she never brought it up. Besides, Wanda had a boyfriend, his name was Jarvis, but everyone called him Vision. Football players and their weird nicknames, right.
He made her happier than she already was, which made him alright in my book.
The bell rang, signaling the end of the free period. I reluctantly let Steve drag me to put the next class together. He was still talking a mile a minute, trying to figure out what he was bringing to the Maximoff's.
When school was over, I went home and threw some clothes in a bag. Natasha ended up coming by early, and we hung out for a bit.
" So, I saw you blushing early today."
" I don't know what you're talking about," I brushed her off easily.
Natasha smirked," You know I've had my suspicions, but I think that I've found concrete evidence."
" Evidence of what exactly?"
Her eyes twinkled with mischief as they met mine," You like Wanda."
" Of course I do. In the same way, I like you or Steve or any of our friends."
Natasha shakes her head," You know that's not what I meant."
Before she could go any further, both of our phones went off. It was a message to the group chat, but without Wanda.
Pietro had texted an S.O.S for everyone to come early. He didn't explain himself, which made me worry.
Natasha and I left as soon as we got the text. The red head was speeding, but I didn't care. I just wanted to know what was going on. The faster we got there, the sooner we'd know.
It seemed like we were the last to arrive, as our friends' cars were parked in the driveway.
When we finally entered the house, the men were on edge. They looked relieved to see us walk in the door.
" What's going on?" Natasha spoke first.
They all moved out of the way so that Wanda was in our view. She was not the happy ball of sunshine that she usually was. She was curled up in a ball on the couch, in a hoodie that engulfed her. I could hardly see her face.
Pietro spoke softly, but his eyes burned fiercely," Jarvis broke up with her. Over text."
I could feel my jaw clench involuntarily. Natasha sprang into action and went over to comfort the girl. Wanda looked up at Natasha, but wasn't engaging with her.
The broken-hearted girl got up from the couch. She began walking in the direction of the boys and I. I watched her curiously and felt surprise overtake me as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
My eyes shot up to look at my friends. This was new. I had no idea what to do. They looked just as wide-eyed and confused as me. Natasha was the one to signal that I hug her back.
So my arms awkwardly engulfed the girl. My hold on her was loose, but I was combatting a shock of my own.
'Take her to her room' Pietro mouthed to me and I nodded.
" Wanda, let's go to your room."
I didn't get a response from the girl. Instead, she surprised me again by wrapping her legs around my waist. I was quick to support her so that she wouldn't fall.
I looked at my friends again, but they all shooed me up the stairs. I was careful as I walked with Wanda in my arms. When we got to her room, she unattached herself from me.
I had planned on standing there awkwardly, but Wanda had a different idea. She led me to her bed and lightly pushed me until I was lying down. She climbed on top of me.
I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. Her head rested closer to my shoulder. My hand found its way into her hair. I dragged my fingers through it, more to calm myself than her.
" Wands," my voice came out as a whisper.
" I don't want to talk about it," her voice was hoarse from crying.
I chuckled a little bit," Is that why you picked me?"
She lifted her head so that her eyes pierced through mine," I picked you, because you give me the most comfort."
A blush spread across my face, I couldn't necessarily hide it with Wanda on top of me. I saw a small smile take over her features as she noticed my newly pigmented face.
" I don't think I know how to comfort anyone," I tried to avoid her gaze.
She laughs lightly," I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Y/n."
" I honestly feel like you're giving me too much."
Wanda moved to my side, I turned to face her. She began to lightly draw patterns on my hand.
" I remember the way you ran onto the field when Piet got injured during the soccer game. You were down there before the medics. You were mad that they didn't let you ride in the ambulance."
" I was scared. I'm scared now, but this is different."
" How is it different?"
I wasn't looking at her but at the ceiling,"I felt like being there was enough for him, but it doesn't seem like enough for you. I feel like I'm supposed to say something to make you feel better, but I don't know what to say."
She briefly stopped tracing patterns on my hand to hold it. My gaze dropped to her eyes," Being here is enough. You are enough, Y/n."
" You have to stop being so nice to me," my free hand went to cover my face.
This caused Wanda to let out a real laugh," I like seeing you blush, it's cute."
This only caused me to turn a deeper shade of red. " Are you ready to go back downstairs?"
" If you promise to stick by my side."
I got out of the bed and extended my hand towards her," As long as you'll have me."
She took my hand and we went downstairs together. She didn't leave my side the whole night. I don't think my friends had seen me smile so much.
I knew that she was heartbroken, but the thought that I brought her comfort made me ecstatic. I knew that I liked her, but having her this close made me realize something. I was completely in love with Wanda Maximoff.
#lowkeyerror#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff imagine#natasha romanoff#tony stark#bruce banner#clint barton#steve rogers#pietro maximoff
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The Only Exception
summary: Y/n tries to write her wedding vows
words: 2.6k
“What are you working on over there?”
“Me? Oh nothing,” Y/n said, quickly covering up the journal she’d been writing in.
Not believing her for a second, Harry came closer to where she was laying on their bed in one of his threadbare sweaters and a pair of sweatpants with a hole in them. “You sure, love?”
The truth was she was working on her wedding vows. Y/n had never been one for public speeches or grand declarations of love, but at some point during the wedding planning process, Harry expressed how much he wanted to do personal vows instead of traditional ones. He didn’t beg or plead, but he didn’t have to. Y/n would do just about anything for Harry, so despite her fears, she said yes.
Now she and Harry were a week away from the wedding, and she had yet to write down a single word. Not because she didn’t love him, it was quite the opposite, actually. Y/n loved him so much she couldn’t find the right words to describe her feelings. He was the first person to really make her believe that love existed. Harry pretty much did the impossible. He took the barbed wire around your heart and didn’t let up until it was healed.
“Yep. Nothing to see here,” Y/n insisted. She didn’t need him knowing that she was failing at writing their wedding vows. Or worse, Harry was so sweet, he would probably help her write them.
“Well then. Permission to board? I am in need of a good snuggle.”
A snort escaped past Y/n’s nose as she laughed. “Why do you talk like that, you dork?” she asked, but she knew why.
Harry had a penchant for knowing when she was stressed and often tried to cheer her up by making her laugh. Instead of answering her, he waited for her answer.
Rolling her eyes, Y/n said, “Permission granted.”
Harry was quick to get on the bed with his fiance, immediately cuddling into her. Before nuzzling his nose against her neck, he peeked at the journal she’d been writing in. He smiled to himself as he read “Wedding Vows” in big letters at the top. It was blank, but Harry wasn’t worried. Y/n was a bigger romantic than she gave herself credit for.
“You’re gonna be my wife in just seven days, can you believe that?” he asked, voice muffled against her skin. Y/n was warm and smelled like lavender and sandalwood, a scent that charmed him the very first day they met.
“Not too late to back out, you know,” Y/n joked.
“Don’t say that,” Harry said, frowning at her.
“I was only kidding, H.”
“Mm. It was a bad joke.”
Y/n could be a bit of a pessimist when it came to love and relationships. It took her a long time to fall in love with Harry, and it took even longer to admit it to Harry and herself. Together they let down a lot of her walls, but she still liked to hide how she felt about things by joking about them.
Sighing, she tentatively began to play with the rings on Harry’s hands. “I’m sorry, you know how I get.”
“I do,” he said. “Care to tell me what's on your mind?”
Y/n sighed. “I…It’s not that I don’t think you love me, or that you’ll ever stop. You know I don't believe that. I just don’t want to end up like my parents.”
“We won’t.”
Harry said it like it was that simple, like nothing could ever possibly come between the two of them. He believed in their love for each other wholeheartedly, and despite her previous misconceptions and beliefs about love, Harry helped her believe in it too.
“I know, I’m sorry. This must be like the opposite of reassuring a week before our wedding,” she said.
Y/n wasn’t facing him, but she could tell Harry was smiling against her neck before he gave her a tiny kiss. “Not at all. I’m surprised I haven’t had to talk you off the proverbial ledge sooner.”
“Rude…but fair,” was all she said.
Turning around, Y/n faced her fiance. She took in the familiar planes of his face, his pointed nose and high cheek bones, his pink lips, his expressive eyes. How she managed to make a literal angel fall in love with her, she wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t about to complain. Y/n leaned her forehead against Harry’s, reveling in the feel of being close to someone, of being in love with someone.
“I love you. My first and only,” she said.
Harry grinned from the sheer openness with which Y/n spoke. Hearing those words shot a line of fireworks down his spine. She used to be so prickly and cynical about love, and he often felt proud (and maybe even a little smug) that he was the one to change her mind.
He leaned in to kiss her, then, holding her cheek gently in his hand. Y/n responded instantly. Her arms curled around his neck, her finger winding around the soft strands of his hair.
One of the first things she learned about Harry was that he had different kinds of kisses. There were the little ones. The tiny pecks that were reserved for places like her shoulders, her nose, her temples, and her hip bones. He’d give her those kisses if they were just hanging out with friends or on the couch watching TV; they were casual, loving kisses.
Then there were the sloppy kisses he’d smother Y/n with if he wanted something or just wanted to make her laugh; and the frenzied passionate ones when he pushed her up against a wall or pin her arms above her head before he had his way with her.
And then there were the slow kisses, the ones that told her he didn’t want to be anywhere else other than right there with her. He was so gentle, so deliberate, with each movement it made her toes curl. No feeling was more euphoric or reassuring than when Harry kissed her like this. She never wanted that feeling to ever go away.
Later that night Harry was fast asleep. Y/n was sitting up against the headboard of their bed, the lamp on her bedside table casting a warm glow over the journal in her lap.
“When I was younger, I had to watch my parents’ marriage fall apart. I watched them break each other’s hearts and swear off love, and from that moment on I swore I would never end up like them. I swore off love, if love even existed,” she wrote, her hand occasionally running through her fiance’s hair. “And I was content to live in loneliness, content to keep a comfortable distance between me and the rest of the world…”
“And then I met you,” she said, tearing up a little. She laughed, slightly embarrassed to be crying in front of a room filled with her and Harry’s closest friends and family. Her hands gripped the two sheets of paper that had her vows written on them. She went back and forth between looking at her vows and looking into Harry’s eyes. They’d been lined with tears since Y/n walked down the aisle, and while she had been able to hold it together for most of the ceremony, she was starting to lose her composure.
“Um…And—And even though I’d convinced myself that I was happy being alone, you showed me more love than I’d ever experienced and made me believe that I could love someone that much too. You proved to me that love wasn’t some dream or fantasy that only existed in a fictional world. No, you, H, you continued to shower me with so much love and affection until I had no choice but to believe in it and fall in love with you.
“I wasn’t an easy person to love back then, I know that,” Y/n said, trying to add a little humor to her voice. Harry saw right through it though and shook his head, mouthing the words, that's not true.
“I was skeptical, I was cold, and I rejected the mere idea of love at every corner. But you saw something in me that was worth loving, that was worth fighting for, and despite my cynicism and lack of belief, you—you patiently waited for me to realize that love wasn’t something to curse at or hate or run away from, but something to embrace and cherish. And I embraced you, Harry, and I never want to let go. I promise you that I will never let go.”
With a shaking hand, Y/n wiped her cheek. She didn’t dare look over at everyone who was watching her say her vows, but the room was so quiet that the only sounds that could be heard were her shaky breaths and the occasional sniffle.
Harry leaned over and kissed her forehead, an offering of comfort and a silent message to take her time until she was ready to continue. He knew how nervous Y/n had been to give this speech, so he gave her what little comfort he could as they stood together with the officiant. When she finally caught her breath, she continued.
“I don’t know what the future will hold, or what my life will look like next year, or in five years, or in fifty, but one thing I can promise is that I will never stop loving you. I will never curse at the wind or run away from you, ever.”
“What are we doing here, Y/n?”
“I—I don’t—”
“I want to be with you. I want to grow old with you, have kids, all of that. I don’t want that life with anyone else, I’m not in love with anyone else. I’m in love with you, and I’m not ashamed of that!”
Harry’s cheeks were red, and he looked angrier than Y/n had ever seen him before. The truth was she was in love with him too, but she couldn’t admit it. The idea of sharing herself so completely as to be in love with them petrified her. Her feelings were unfamiliar and terrified her to no end, and her first instinct was to run, to leave before that love fizzled out or blew away with the wind. It always did.
“I’m sorry, Harry, but I don’t feel the same way.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” he said.
He surged forward to hold her hand in his own. He was so close that Y/n had no choice but to look him in the eye.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not in love with me.”
“Harry, please let go of me, I can’t—”
Despite being upset, he wasn’t going to hold Y/n against her will. Harry dropped her hands unceremoniously and turned away from her, and that was the first time Y/n had ever truly felt her heart break.
“You can, but you won’t,” Harry said, his voice devoid of any emotion. Still not looking at you he said with a shaky breath, “I want you to love me the way I love you, but I can’t force you to. I thought if I showed you what real love looked like, you would believe me, but I—I realize now that that was foolish of me. I shouldn’t try to change you, and for that I’m sorry.”
“Harry—”
“You can run. I know you want to. Just know that my love for you is real, and that I don’t think I’ll ever stop being in love with you.”
Y/n couldn’t stop the tears from running down her face, but she did exactly as Harry said. Without a single word other than, “I’m sorry,” she took her keys and left his house.
She didn’t know where to go. Not home, Harry’s things were everywhere there. So she drove aimlessly, sobs wracking her body every now and again.
Y/n didn’t want to be in love, didn’t believe in being in love. She told Harry that one of the first times they met. And yet he somehow broke down every barrier, every wall she had ever put up around her heart, and that was the single most terrifying thing she would ever feel—her heart stripped bare, unguarded for Harry to do with as he pleased.
As she drove, her heart cried out for one person, the only person she knew could make all of this pain go away, if she only let him. Falling in love was something Y/n vowed she would never do, yet somehow she fell in love with Harry, the first and only person she’d ever been in love with.
In a split-second decision, Y/n turned the car around. She raced back to Harry’s place, back to him. She hoped that she didn’t make irrevocable damage, but wouldn’t be surprised if she did.
Letting herself in with her keys, she let herself into a dark house. Y/n checked a couple rooms before going to his bedroom. He was lying on the bed facing away from her, but she couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not.
Hesitantly, she took off her shoes and her jacket and walked over to him. Harry’d eyes were closed, but she opened up the covers and slid into bed with him anyway. And when he immediately wrapped his arms around her, something in her settled, the last piece of a puzzle falling into place.
“I love you,” she whispered. “And I’m so scared.”
“I know.” Harry’s voice wasn’t deep or scratchy the way it was after he’d been sleeping for a while, so he clearly has been awake when Y/n came in.
He didn’t really have to say anything else. He knew why she was so skittish around love, why she didn’t want anything to do with it. He loved her anyway, and was willing to wait as long as it took for her to comfortably say she loved him back.
“I’m sorry for running away from you and for saying I didn’t love you earlier.”
“But you came back,” he said softly. “Why?”
“Because…” Why did she come back? She had a hard time putting it into words. “Because you make me want to be in love, even though it terrifies me.”
Y/n finally turned in Harry’s arms so that she was facing him. It was too dark to make our any of his features, but she didn’t need any light to know what he looked like. His face had been scarred onto her heart so that she could never forget it.
“I can’t promise that I’ll be easy to love or that I’ll deserve it,” she said.
“Hey, hey. None of that,” Harry chided. “You deserve all of my love. Every last bit of it. Just—No more running, okay?”
“I promise to love you forever, Harry. Even on my darkest days, because you made me believe that love was something worth having in my life. So you are my love, my life, my heart and soul. My first and only.”
She’d said the last sentence directly to him, the rest of their audience falling away so it was just the two of them. A tear escaped and trickled down Harry’s cheek, and Y/n was quick to wipe it away with her thumb. He smiled against her hand and kissed it before he was instructed to say his vows.
“How on earth am I supposed to follow that up?” he muttered to himself, though with the microphone he was holding to say his vows, everyone heard him and laughed.
Taking a deep breath, Harry looked at Y/n and smiled. His green eyes were watery, but they were filled with so much joy it gave Y/n butterflies. He truly was her one and only, and by some miracle, she was his. Harry made her believe in love, and she couldn’t be happier because of him.
#harry styles#harry styles blurb#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagine#harry styles oneshot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x you#harry styles fluff#harry styles writing#harry styles one shot#harry styles fic#harry styles angst#Spotify
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Drink Up and Look at the Stars
Joel x reader
No physical description, no use of y/n, gender neutral
Summary: Joel and you get some alone time while Ellie’s asleep, sharing a flask under the stars. Joel acts on some liquid confidence.
Warnings: Drinking
Word count: 1k
A/n: I can’t stop writing. Also you may recognize the title from Between the Bars by Elliott Smith
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Despite all his sleepless nights, Joel hadn’t realized just how much brighter the night sky is nowadays until tonight, and he’s thanking the moon and all the new stars for illuminating you like they do tonight. The liquid confidence he swigs makes him want to tell you but he’s still just cognizant enough to not want to take the risk. As he notices the whisky making his body feel lighter, now firmly in the zone of tipsiness, he hopes that you’ll be braver, or stupider, than him and let something like that slip.
He felt lucky already that you couldn’t sleep and decided instead to join him at his post by the water. He didn’t even mind that the two of you might end up emptying his flask. He likes when he can get you alone and talking, and now he’s got you right where he wants you. Ellie’ll be sound asleep for at least a few more hours, and the whisky has helped you both let your guard down a little bit.
The conversation has just arrived at recollections of your old lives.
“I always wanted to travel.” you continue on, “Look at me now, hiking cross country, sleeping by the water under the stars.” You try to keep your voice light but your smile is fading. “I guess I should have tried harder, to travel, I mean. I guess it's just that I thought I had more time. Doesn’t that seem so weird now? I used to plan for the future. I mean I was saving up money for when I retire.” you chuckle, “And now…”
“There’s still a chance,” Joel says. You look at him thinking he’s making a joke but his eyes are earnest, “to grow old. And I don't mean like me, I mean old, old. Like, die from natural causes old.” You snort. “I mean it.”
Joel had always been the pessimist of your little group, but tonight it’s you who brushes off his offer of some positivity. “Would you really want to though? I mean I don’t want to die now, I just mean, I’m not super stoked at the idea of this dragging on for a few more decades.”
Joel watches your face. He understands, but he doesn’t want to think about you dying, or him dying, so he’s going to ignore all that, just for tonight. Being alone with you like this is some kind of magic for him, protecting him from all the ugliness in his life. He can just be here, now, passing a flask back and forth, watching you under the stars. If only he could freeze time, stay here with you forever and make you feel safe like you make him. But he’s looking in your eyes and they’re distant and he recognizes the sorrow in them. The whisky is a pleasant burn going down his throat.
“Well, we don’t have to think about it, you know.” He reaches his hand towards you, offering the flask. “Drink up. ‘N look at the stars.” You take it from him and raise it to ‘cheers’ the sky.
There is a long, comfortable silence for a few more passes of the flask before Joel speaks up.
“If I could, I’d freeze this right here. ‘N put it in a snowglobe.” His cheeks are plump and pink at the ends of his smile and you giggle at him, putting your hand to your mouth to try to keep yourself from spitting out a mouthful of whisky.
He turns his head to the stars. “Yeah. Just stay here. Stay here with you for the rest of time. Yeah, rest’a taaaam.” His southern drawl is more pronounced with a belly full of liquor and it makes you laugh.
“I think you’re drunk.”
“Tipsy, not drunk.”
“Well you sound drunk.”
“Well, you’re burstin’ my bubble. Come on, join me in the snowglobe.”
“The rest of time, huh?”
“Yeah. I got millions a questions I wanna ask you.”
“Like what?” you smile with him.
Joel takes a swig as he considers his answer, then hands it back to you.
“Well, for starters, would you wanna stay in a snowglobe with me?”
“For the rest of time? Hmm…” You pretend to ponder, turning your face to the sky and taping your finger on your chin before returning to his eyes. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Joel smiles wider, adjusting his seat on the ground and looking up at the stars, feeling accomplished. You pass him the flask and yawn.
“Don’t you go fallin’ asleep on me. The night is young! We still got time in our snowglobe!” Joel giggles—an unfamiliar sound that you savor.
You laugh, “I’m not sleepy, just tired. There's a difference. I don’t wanna sleep, I wanna stay up with you.” You turn your head to him, swiveling your neck down to lean your cheek on your hand and stare for a minute or two. “You’re so pretty.” It slips out, but you don’t care.
“I’m pretty?”
“Mhm.”
“You’re pretty.” He smiles wide at you and you giggle. “Pretty, pretty lil’ thing, you are.” Your heart skips a beat at his words and you watch his eyes dawdle on your face.
“I’m cold.” You lie.
Joel nods his head towards himself, “C’mere, then.”
You get up and walk the couple feet to him and as you sit down he leans to lay on his side, elbow on the ground to support his head in his hand. He abandons the flask and lifts his other arm up while you settle in and then lays it over your middle. You scooch your body back into his and he wraps his arm around you.
“Better?"
“Yeah. You’re warm.”
“Mm. Good. You still got a good view‘a the stars?”
“Oh, no, not really. I forgot they were up there.”
“You forgot they were up there?”
“Yeah,” you giggle, “You’re distracting.”
“Well here,” He grunts as he sits up and you feel a twinge of nervous disappointment in your chest as he moves away to lean against the rock wall, but it leaves when he reaches his arms out to you, making grabbing motions with his hands. “C’mere.”
You happily crawl back into his arms and he reaches one to rest behind your neck, his other hand going to gently hold your waist. From this angle, your head leaned back against his shoulder, you get a good view of the stars, but now when you look up, his face is close to yours. You watch his eyes reading your face again.
Joel is lost in you. Right here, right now, there is no sickness, no death, nor loss, there's only you. The only thing that reminds him that he’s a person again is when he sees you looking into him.
“Now you can’t see the stars.”
“Mmm, that's ok. I like lookin’ at you more.”
“You are drunk.”
“Am not. Yer drunk.”
“No I’m not.”
“Good.”
With that, Joel leans his lips down to meet yours. It’s an innocent, long kiss. Each time you pull away from each other you’re magnetized back again. It feels like forever and you don’t mind that at all.
“Perfect lil' snowglobe.” Joel whispers once you’re able to break your kiss.
“Rest of time.” You whisper back.
He rubs the tip of his nose back and forth over yours.
“Rest’a time.”
#the last of us#the last of us fanfiction#joel the last of us#joel miller the last of us#the last of us hbo#joel miller#joel miller fan fiction#joel miller x reader#tlou#tlou fanfiction#joel tlou#joel miller tlou#tlou hbo#joel miller fluff
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Grumpy Vs. Sunshine Session
Hello Lovelies!
I know I just ended the Halloween Prompt Session, but I stumbled across a GREAT prompt list and I HAD to make it into a mini session for certain!
I think you all will like it :)
This Session's Theme is:
Grumpy Vs. Sunshine
Here are my rules:
1.) You may choose ONE character from my list Here. It’ll have the list of characters that I write for or have written for in the past.
*(If you have a character not listed that you wish for me to write, PLEASE MESSAGE ME AND CLEAR IT WITH ME FIRST TO SEE IF I CAN OR WILL DO IT!)*
2.) There are Two Prompt lists for this session, please provide the lines you wish for me to use, one from the grumpy list and one from the sunshine list
Example: May I have Aziel from ACOTAR with, "You know I love you, right?" and "See, I told you there's some good in you!"
*I write out the requests as a first come first serve. I will try my best to fulfill every request that comes my way, but please bear in mind I work full-time as a teacher. Because of that, I’ll be busy most of the day so please be patient and I’ll write in my spare time as much as I can :) *
3.) If I get two requests that are exactly the same, (same character and same number) I will only write it once! Please don't be afraid to ask if someone has already requested the character and number, I don't mind answering that for you :)
4.) You can request in my ASK box neither as yourself or anonymously. Although I would LOVE to give you a shout if you request as yourself, anon is perfectly fine!
5.) I will stop taking requests for this prompt session on Friday, October 27th, at 3:00pm PST (Pacific Standard Time)
6) Have fun and enjoy :)
Prompt list created by @poohsources
from the grump
❛ how can you be this cheery already? we haven't even had breakfast. ❜
❛ just don't make a big deal out of this. ❜
❛ you know i love you, right? ❜
❛ i know, alright, i know i'm an asshole. but i'm trying here. ❜
❛ i'm sorry. i didn't mean what i said earlier. ❜
❛ do you always have to be so damn optimistic? ❜ ❛
nobody has ever made me feel the way you do. ❜
❛ there's no way in hell i'm doing that. ❜
❛ i'm not good with this whole stupid feelings thing. ❜
❛ you make me want to be better. you make me want to be good. ❜
❛ can't you just move on and forget about it already? ❜
❛ i'm only doing this because you asked me to. ❜
❛ you're the only one who has ever believed in me. ❜
❛ you won't stop this until i say 'yes', will you? ❜
❛ how are you so happy all the time? ❜
❛ until i met you, I never thought i would be capable of that. ❜
❛ you're the polar opposite of me. ❜
❛ whatever. i didn't think you'd care anyway. ❜
❛ your optimism might be starting to rub off on me. ❜
❛ why don't you give up on me like everyone else? ❜
from the sunshine
❛ come on, it's gonna be fun! ❜
❛ see? i told you there's some good in you. ❜
❛ you should smile more. you have such a beautiful smile. ❜
❛ i'm so excited! there's so much i have planned for us. ❜
❛ i was just trying to do something nice for you. ❜
❛ do you always have to be so pessimistic? ❜
❛ stop being so stubborn. i'm trying to help you. ❜
❛ i knew there was a big softie under all that tough exterior. ❜
❛ i always feel better with you by my side. ❜
❛ sometimes you should let others in. ❜ ❛
light up, [name]. we're gonna be here for a while. ❜
❛ why is it so difficult for you to accept a compliment? ❜
❛ stay? i just ... don't want to be alone right now. ❜
❛ just because i'm generally a happy person doesn't mean i can't have an off day. ❜
❛ i'm not some helpless little girl/boy! ❜
❛ you're not gonna get rid of me that easily. ❜
❛ stop that. i don't want you to talk about yourself like this. ❜
❛ of course, i remember! i remember everything you told me. ❜
❛ let's go outside and dance in the rain. ❜
❛ you don't mean that, do you? ❜
Once again, this prompt session will close and I will no longer take requests on Friday, October 27th, at 3:00pm PST
Thanks and happy writing and requesting!
Tagging - @a-lumos-in-the-nox @valeridarkness @botanicalbarnes @pemberlyy @heartofwritiing @ethereal-athalia @virtueassassin @saradika@heliosphere8 @reader6898 @simplymakkari
#eddie munson x you#Eddie munson x reader#shang chi x reader#druig x reader#jack russell x you#werewolf by night fanfiction#eternals fanficiton#marvel cinematic universe fanfiction#stranger things fanfiction#azriel shadowsinger#barry keoghan x reader#joseph quinn x reader#jack russell x reader#benedict Bridgerton x reader#eternals fanfiction#bridgerton#bridgerton fanfiction#oliver wood x reader#oliver wood fanfiction#writing#fanfiction#druig#eternals#joseph quinn#barry keoghan#acotar#acotar fanfiction#azriel x female!reader#azriel x reader#azriel acotar
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Hey! Question: Who is your favorite BroZone brother?
OMIGOSH
OKAY
IMMA BLAB FOR A WHILE GUYS IM SORRY-
...
...
...
I LOVE BRANCH SO MUCH EEE HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE CHARACTER BUT I BEGAN TO LOVE HIM WAY MORE WHEN THE 3RD MOVIE CAME OUT IM SORRY IM INSANE LOL
I love his personality, he's just so sarcastic and smarticle (yes that's a word- now) and so sweet all at the same time.
It's like whenever you see Poppy being rlly rlly crazy giddy and start to go overboard you're thinking "okay this is getting too much"
!!BOOM!!
there's Branch and his pessimistic attitude and ur all like "phew, I can breathe now :D"
I'M JOKING I LOVE POPPY
I also love Justin Timberlake's voice, and he brings the character out of Branch SO WELL. If Justin Timberlake didn't sing songs that make me cringe, then I would SO LISTEN TO HIS MUSIC.
(Sorry, JT, I can't do ur cheesy love songs, they're gross😘)
If it had to be another character other than Branch, than I'm guessing it's Clay or JD.
I think it's Clay tho honestly, tho JD is def right behind Clay.
CLAY IS SUCH A FUN CHARACTER he's all like "im not the fun guy i live in the port-a-potty, see?" and his bros are all like "yeah, ur still the fun guy" and Viva's all like "i love this dude guys" and we're all "yup we know"
I love reading Jaden and Lee's books on Wattpad bc it captures their personalities SO MUCH
If you guys haven't read it (Trolls: Tales Of The Band) on Wattpad, please do, ITS SO GOOD and the art is adorable!
I also found out that Jaden's favorite BroZone character is also Clay, so I'm happy about that lol!
So yah. My main character is Branch and always will be, but Clay is right behind him with JD following.
FOLLOW @brozonelovergirl SHE'S AWESOME AND SO NICE, IM SO GLAD SHE JOINED TUMBLR
hope this answered your question 😘😘
Love ya! -@jessi4branchifer
#trolls band together#trolls 3#brozone#trolls branch#dreamworks trolls#trolls poppy#john dory trolls#broppy#trolls clay#trolls brozone
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“Divination” for your prompt request please ☺️
Hello! Thank you, here it is 💕
Divination - 766 words
“What the hell is wrong with me?”
The silence of the library is broken by a voice, a voice that unmistakably belongs to Lily, and James jumps in his seat.
He looks up to find her sitting at the table next to his. He doesn't know how long she has been there, but thinks it's weird that he hasn't noticed until now. The library is deserted on this Saturday afternoon except for them and a group of second years a few tables away, so naturally everyone is looking at her now.
Their eyes meet and she gives him a rueful smile, mouthing a ‘sorry’.
“Evans, Evans, Evans…” he says as he stands up, already walking towards her (he can't help it), and joins her at her table, his books and notes already forgotten. He settles in the seat at her left, and it doesn't look like she minds the proximity.
“To answer your question… A couple of things, really?” he whispers conspiratorially in her ear.
She smells lovely.
She chuckles. “I wasn't asking you,” she replies, and she bends her head towards him, her breath ghosting his ear.
His heartbeat quickens, but he chooses to focus on the matter at hand. “How was I supposed to know? It sounded like you were in dire need of help.”
Lily laughs again. “Thanks for the rescue, but I doubt you can help me.”
“Try me.”
“You don't take Divination anymore so I don't think Ornithomancy is your forte,” she points to an illustration of a raven in her book.
James shrugs. “I know one thing or two about birds.”
“Birds as in girls, maybe, but you wouldn't be able to tell me why all my experiments are going south. Literally.”
At his confused look, she explains. “We were tasked with studying the flight of birds but all I got was a bunch of bad omens.”
He stretches his arms, casually resting one on her chair. “Well, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It probably means you're shit at this bird reading thing.”
She swats his arm. “I am brilliant at this, thank you very much.”
“Until now. Besides, isn't it all up to interpretation? Just write that you think you're going to die very soon and you're good. You will probably get extra points because of the sob story.”
Lily starts playing with the hem of her skirt, and James’ gaze is drawn to her thighs now.
“It's not as simple as that,” she sighs, “I have to be very specific with my descriptions. The time of day, the season, the weather conditions and the number of birds I see determine the exact moment in which said bad thing will happen.”
James covers her hand with his own to stop her from fidgeting, and he ignores the heat of her skin. “You're right, I know fuck-all about this but I also like to think that I know you quite well, and - don't get mad -” she's looking at him now, “you tend to be a bit pessimistic. It's one thing if you're worried about your mark, but this not the case, isn't it?”
She shakes her head. Slowly, he starts massaging her hand. “This is homework, Lily, that's all it is. I know that it's hard to imagine a world without school with the NEWTs looming over our heads, but really, relax. Take a walk, go outside… Alright, maybe try not to look at the sky for the time being,” he adds, and Lily hides a giggle behind her hand, “but go out. Please.”
Go out with me he wants to say, but he stops himself.
“Now?”
He looks away from her for a moment to peer outside the window.
“It's a nice enough day. Bit chilly, maybe, but you don't mind that, do you?”
She's biting her bottom lip, and he knows because he's staring at her mouth.
“Okay. Let's go, then,” she gets up suddenly, but doesn't let go of his hand.
He realises that Lily wants him to come. Him. “What?”
“You need a break as much as me, you nerd. You didn't even notice me coming in.”
“That's right,” he replies as he gets up, “when did you arrive?”
With a flick of his wand, his books are in his bag, and Lily summons it for him, adjusting it on his shoulder.
“Oh, about five minutes before you spoke to me,” she says nonchalantly, walking towards the door to the library.
James’ mouth forms a perfect ‘o’ but she doesn't see it, walking a step ahead of him, their hands still linked.
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more spike time (feat. infection and research)
more of this??
*
"That's disgusting," Doug says mildly, once they've let him into their room, after the late dinner bell. "I was expecting something bad, but not quite so..."
"Gooey?" Mal suggests.
"Obviously infected, because you two are morons," Evie says sweetly, leaning over Doug's shoulder to poke at the tight red skin around the puncture wound on Jay's shoulder. "If you'd let me clean it out properly from the start, we wouldn't be in this situation."
"We wouldn't be in the situation at all if you Auradon people didn't insist on putting spikes where they don't belong," Jay grits out. He's got a chunk of Evie's spare purse leather in his mouth, because when they tried cleaning it out earlier he yelled so loud they had to make up an excuse (mouse in the chimney) about why they were screaming. "Seriously. Who the fuck puts spikes on the ground?"
Doug steps back. "Well. Ah. I do have an answer for that."
Mal can't contain her eye roll. She's not strong enough. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like the answer?"
"Because you're a pessimistic villain, M," Evie says, moving along with Doug like they're glued together. "Whatever Doug found will be fine, and we'll all learn a valuable lesson about trusting in the Auradon City planners and not jumping off of railings when we can't see the ground clearly."
"Maybe you'll learn a lesson. I'm still gonna jump."
"You are not, and if you try it again I'm going to poke you in the infected puncture wound." Evie snaps. "Don't be a moron just because you're ashamed to admit you messed up."
"Didn't." Jay grumbles. "Fck'off."
"I'm going to drag you in to the nurse myself if you're not improving by tomorrow." Evie threatens, sweet as anything. "And I'll tell her that you're a moron and a reckless idiot, and you threatened me to keep your secret, and you should be drugged for your crimes."
"I like drugs."
Evie sighs. "I know. That's why I'm going to lie for you, babe. To get you the good drugs."
"That's why you're the best," Mal agrees. "But both of you shut up so we can find out why this shit happened in the first place."
"Because somebody didn't look before he jumped--"
Ugh. They're getting derailed, and it's not that Mal doesn't love dunking on Jay for his stupid, impulsive stunts, but they have Doug here for a reason. "Look, we can all agree that it was a stupid thing to do. We're not going to do it again until I've melted the spikes. Doug, why are there spikes in the city for morons like us to get impaled on in the first place?"
"Thn'ks, M." Jay whispers. He's not on drugs right now, not for lack of trying. He's been feverish on and off all day, and it's not-- they're not against drugs. When they're needed. They just can't steal the right stuff without opening themselves up to even more questions, and they've been trying to avoid actually going to the nurse's office for as long as possible.
"You're still a dumbass." Mal whispers back.
Doug clears his throat. "If you two are listening?"
"We are."
"I'm not," Jay says cheerfully. "I feel like crap."
"That's the infection. If you hadn't rolled on a ground spike you'd feel a lot better." Evie snaps. "Doug, it doesn't matter if they're listening or not, I want to know why there's spikes on the city grounds. I'm not feverish or....Mal."
"Hey." Mal protests. She might not be the best at listening in her classes, but she fakes her way through okay.
Evie throws her a look. A deadly, beautiful sort of look. The sort that promises pain later. "Shut up and let the boy speak, Mallie."
"Ah. Yes. That is. Um."
Mal levels her best unimpressed look at the Auradon kid they're deigning to allow into their personal space. "Spit it out, Auradon boy. We're not going to flame you over it."
"Can I get that in writing?" Doug mumbles under his breath, so softly that Mal can barely hear him, and then, louder: "I mean, yeah, I totally believe you. Super. Um. They're put up by the city planning board to prevent unhoused people from sleeping where they might be in the way of the public."
What.
"They're what?"
Doug sighs. "The spikes are there to prevent homeless people from sleeping in public. If there's nowhere comfortable to lie down, the city planning board thinks they'll just stop needing to be...anywhere."
What a stupid, moronic thing to think.
"That's idiotic," Evie says. Her voice is absolutely dripping with scorn. "I don't know where these city board members grew up, but back home, if you ignore people sleeping on the streets, they leave you alone. If you're stupid enough to try putting up spikes, you'll be lucky if they stop at throwing them through your window."
#my fic#descendants#core four my beloved#they are sooooo stupid sometimes and it’s their curse to bear unfortunately
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What's this? 👀
Jumping ahead a bit, post-Pigsy introduction, but I've had this in the docs for a bit!
Dove Masterlist:
Blinded
“We should’ve stayed and fought!” Today has truly been a disaster.
You thought after finding Tripitaka’s third disciple, the journey would become easier, but now?! The Tang monk is being held captive in a demon-infested cave! With Wukong and Tripitaka’s new disciple, Pigsy, you found the cave and fought the demon horde awaiting you. It didn’t take long to take care of the tiger demon that had stolen the monk away in the first place, but he was quickly replaced by an army of demons. That was when their king appeared. It wasn’t long before you and Pigsy became overwhelmed while Sun Wukong ran off to face the demon’s leader alone. With only the two of you left to face the army, the newest disciple decided to grab you and run instead of staying to fight.
“Are you mad?” Pigsy huffs, looking down at you with a bewildered stare. “We were losing! Be grateful I even thought to drag you out of there.”
“Without Tripitaka! The very reason any of us are here!” You argue, turning away as you slow down your breaths, a fruitless effort to calm yourself.
The pig demon scoffs as you do. “We almost died! What use am I if I’m no longer breathing?!”
Before you can even think to answer, you catch sight of a figure slowly approaching, the silhouette instantly recognizable. “Wukong! Did you retrieve Tripitaka? Where is…” You run to approach the demon, only slowing as you see the look in his eyes.
They’re watering an egregious amount, glazed over with a constant flow of tears running down his face. The demon is blinking rapidly, rubbing his unfocused eyes as he groans in frustration, only stopping as your voice trail off. He looks up, his head swivelling and voice laced with caution. “Dove? Are you still there?”
“What the… what happened to you?!” You frown, somewhat out of worry but mostly out of fear. Who could have done something like this to Sun Wukong? Whether he continues to be a thorn in your side or not, he’s still the strongest out of your travelling companions!
Once close enough, you take the simian by his arms and lead him to sit with his fellow disciples. His movement is rigid, even as you guide him. “I can’t see, I can’t see anything.”
“That’s obvious, I meant how.” You roll your eyes at his statement, and even with his impairment, you’re sure he knows it, too.
The sage continues to rub his eyes as he explains. “That stupid king! I almost had him, my clones and I were about to kill him when he– I don’t know! This wind came out of nowhere, it hit me in the face and I can’t see anything now!”
“Wind?” When the tiger demon initially attacked, Pigsy and Wukong had chased him down the path. You stayed back to calm Tripitaka, who was in shock after the demon had ripped his own skin off in front of your group. Just as he was beginning to relax, a fierce wind sent you flying back and took the monk away. Perhaps it was an ability of the demons that resided here.
Before you can ponder the thought any further, the ragged breathing of the demon in front of you draws you back to the present. “How am I supposed to save Master when I can’t even see him?! How am I supposed to fight?!”
“Elder brother is right.” Pigsy chimes in. “How are we meant to take on a demon army when even he was defeated? It might be in our best interest to accept that we have lost–”
“No.” You cut him off before he can finish being a coward. “This isn’t over. I didn’t spend all that time waiting patiently in the heavens for the monk to be eaten. Not before he’s met all his disciples!” In all honesty, you aren’t sure what to do yet, but you’ll have to figure it out. “An outright frontal assault didn’t work, so we’ll have to be clever about this.”
The pig demon snorts at that. “Didn’t you hear me? It doesn’t matter what we do, how are the two of us meant to do anything when Pilgrim Sun is blind?!” His words, however pessimistic they are, hold truth you don’t want to acknowledge. Fortunately enough, you may have the answer to his worries. However, you already know the downsides will only cause headache for you later.
You look back at the Monkey King, annoyance bubbling in your chest at the inconvenience of his injury. With a drawn out sigh, you quickly snap your fingers in front of the sage to get his attention. “I’m going to put my hands on your face.”
“What? Why…” His question lingers on his tongue for a moment as you crouch down in front of him and reach out to cup his face in your hands. As you do, the sage stiffens, but only for a moment. You chuckle to yourself a bit as his face reddens. Whether it’s from the two rivers flowing from his eyes or embarrassment, it’s a priceless sight nonetheless.
Your amusement doesn’t go unnoticed as his voice sharpens. “What?”
“You’re shaking, and it’s funny.” You admit. Seeing the self-proclaimed Great Sage without his constant coating of confidence is a look that you know you won’t see often. So if it won’t last long, you can at least enjoy this while you can.
A growl rumbles from his throat. “Listen here, you–”
“Shush, I need to focus.” You interrupt before taking a deep breath. This isn’t something you did often, and it takes a lot out of you without the distracting voice of that annoying ape. “Also, I’m aware of how this will look so don’t get your hopes up if I look dead. I’m not.”
“…What?”
“I said shush.”
With that, you continue your breathing, slow and paced. It takes time, but you begin to work. However, unlike previous times where you focused on a person’s state of mind, their emotion, your focus is now centred on physical ailment. Your brows furrow in concentration, envisioning your energy encompassing his own, and going further.
In a moment, you feel your strength slipping through your fingers, your thumb brushing past the corner of his eye. Healing physical injuries requires more energy than what you were used to letting trickle out, but Pigsy is right, your group will need Sun Wukong to get Tripitaka back.
You continue, eyes shut as you feel your energy slip away . You continue until your arms can no longer hold themselves up and fall to your sides. Your slow breathing feels laboured and when you open your eyes again, you see the streams of water coming from the sage’s eyes narrow, before stopping completely. With a few blinks, Wukong’s eyes open wide. They were still glassy, but considerably less than before. In just a second, his golden eyes look to you, finally focused. The distraught he had worn is now gone, replaced with one of seeming disbelief.
He speaks, his words rapid and carrying his usual-energetic tone, though you can’t bother to focus on them. Your head feels like it’s spinning and you find yourself unable to concentrate on whatever is being said as you face the repercussions of your actions. Exhaustion weighs down on you, your body feeling heavy as your own vision begins to blur the world together.
Your eyes slowly close as an arm snakes around your back, and the gravity tugging on your body swiftly becomes levity. A sense of weightlessness that’s almost comforting as your mind begins to cloud over your mind. It was oddly… peaceful.
~~~~
Sun Wukong thought the woman didn’t have any surprises left in her. But he found himself proven wrong when his vision began to clear. It only took mere moments, and his eyes– which despite their watering had felt dry to the point that it was painful– could see clearly again!
At first, all that he was able to gather was the blurry figure in front of him, only recognizable by that aura she carried with her. Without his sight, all he had to focus on was her steady breathing. Then, like a miracle, he could slowly make out the details in his vision. The look on her face, focused as her brows crease in concentration and eyes begin to open.
Only when she lets go of his face does he manage to pull himself from his shock. “I– I can see! Haha, yes! I can see again. Huh, I guess you really can be useful every now and then, Dove. How did you–”
He cuts himself off when the woman starts to fall to the side. Wukong is quick to catch her, frowning at her unconscious state. So this is what she meant. She certainly doesn't look as lively as she usually is.
Or maybe… depleted is a better description, she looks spent. Despite the toll, her ability has left the sage speechless, a rare sight to see. Though, this woman seems to leave him in that condition quite often. Then again, he had no idea her gift had more to it than what she’d already shown.
"I can’t believe it." Pigsy mutters under his breath, reminding his fellow disciple of his presence. "She's not dead, is she?"
At the question, Wukong rises to his feet, the woman limp in his arms. "No, just unconscious." His gaze lifts back up to the mountain they had just fled from. His eyes narrow, annoyance beginning to prod at him with the thought of that demon believing he may have actually bested the Great Sage Equal to Heaven.
His eyes quickly glance back to the Dove in his arms. "We'll find someplace to let her rest, then we kill that monster who took Master."
~~~~
Walking alongside the Dragon-Horse Prince, you try your best to withhold the need to groan from the feeling of eyes bearing into the back of your skull. Tripitaka had been safely returned to the group, with the help of some divine intervention. With the added help, you were able to sneak past the battling demons and retrieve the monk– whose tears rivalled the blinded Sun Wukong– yourself. It was a great victory, though perhaps you would be able to feel better if not for a persistent headache accompanied by the laser-focused stare of a certain simian. It was possible to skin a stone monkey, right? "There isn't anything on my back, is there? Have I grown a second head?"
"So you can calm minds and heal?" Sun Wukong was quick to ignore your questions.
Though he wasn't able to see your face, you could not help but roll your eyes. "What do you think? Are you still blinded by your own tears?" Your hiss of a retort only makes him laugh.
"I was able to see you fall into my arms." You glare back to the monkey demon at his words. "You simple mortals, too weak to handle any sort of real power, I suppose." If your stare could be as sharp as your arrows, the demon would be dead, even with his layers upon layers of immortality.
But unable to kill him, you settle for a scoff. "You truly have such arrogance, after allowing your enemy to blind you in the first place."
"So I underestimated him the first time, but you and the pig couldn’t even handle his thugs. Or am I mistaken?"
"I should have never returned your sight, you bastard ape!"
"And yet, you have! Perhaps consider who you heal before laying your hands on them."
"It will be something I consider in the future, that is certain!"
As the bickering continues, you fail to notice Pigsy leaning towards his master. "Have they always conversed with each other so... intensely?" The question leaves Tripitaka to look back at the two that trail behind them.
The monk sighs at the question. "You learn to block it out."
"How?" The disciple quirks his head, only for his master to shrug.
"If you figure it out before me, I would love to know."
#bestie ur not jesus#thought this could add some more context to dove's power#anyway here's some little cute moments <3#jttw#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#journey to the west sun wukong#sun wukong#sun wukong x reader#jttw sun wukong x reader#little dove
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