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scuttling · 3 years

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Long Time Coming

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,664 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Oblivious Hotch, Flirting, Reader has a few one night stands, Semi-public sex, Unprotected sex, Blow jobs/Face fucking, Hairpulling, Fingering, Praise and degradation, Dirty talk, Accidental reveal of feelings, TW blood/cut Summary: You have been in lust (and love) with Aaron for a while, but his new look sends you off the deep end, and it's enough to make you do some pretty crazy things. *Inspired by @ssamorganhotchner and these three pics. Link to A03 or read below! You are fresh off yet another unsuccessful first date when Aaron wears the new suit. You, Emily, JJ, and Penelope are standing by the coffee maker, complaining about the pitfalls of online dating and how people are never they way they seem when you actually meet in person; you have the carafe in your hand, filling your mug, and when he walks in, face in a case file, his pants so tight you can make out his hips and thighs as clearly as if he were naked… You kind of lose your shit. And your grip.

The carafe shatters when it hits the tile floor, spraying shards of glass and hot coffee everywhere; Emily gasps, Penelope jumps back to avoid the splatter, JJ runs for a broom, and you just stand there, staring at Aaron—at his tight slacks, at his belt, at his shirt, tucked neatly inside, then at his dangling tie, and finally, his worried face.

“Are you alright?” he asks, because you have literally not moved a muscle since he arrived; your boots are covered in coffee—you are thankful you dressed casually today and aren’t wearing heels, or you’d be in a lot of pain—and your heart is racing, but otherwise you feel frozen, unable to move or look away.

You’ve wanted Aaron for a long time, and everyone knows it but him. It’s part of the reason you’re smothering yourself with online hookups and blind dates and one night stands: because he is off limits, and you’re desperately horny for him, and you need to have him fucked out of your mind one way or another.

The new suit further complicates things.

“Fine,” you say after a few more seconds, and JJ comes back with the broom and dustpan, so you bend down to help her clean up your mess. It wasn’t your brightest idea, because you are now at eye level with the tight crotch of his pants, and all you can think of is working the zipper open, pulling him carefully past the fly, sucking him off until those big hands slip into your hair and tug roughly when he comes.

God. You’re going to have to go on another bad date. Or ten.

“New suit?” Penelope asks conversationally, as if you aren’t having a sexual crisis about it three feet away. “Looks good, boss.” Aaron runs his hand down his body self-consciously, but all you see are thick fingers and stomach and hnnngg…

JJ pinches the back of your arm hard, makes a face that screams get it together!!, and you take a deep breath.

“I took some of my old ones in for alterations and the salesman convinced me they were severely outdated. Do you like this style better?”

For some reason, it feels like he’s looking right at you, and you nod, dreamy-eyed, sweep your tongue over your lips.

“Better,” you rasp, and Emily and Penelope agree, probably to take the emphasis off of your slack mouth and dopey one-word answers. You try to help JJ clean up, picking up the larger pieces of glass and dropping them into the dustpan despite her protests—because you are very unfocused, shouldn’t be messing with sharp objects—and when you cut your finger on a piece, she just sighs. Such a mom.

You wince, and Aaron frowns, comes toward you, putting you not only at dick height, but a manageable dick distance, if you were so inclined; really, it’s more if he were so inclined, because you are actually fully prepared to swallow his load right here in front of your friends—all he’d have to do would be snap his fingers and point to his crotch, and the FBI would be suing you for mental distress and using the money to pay for therapy for Emily, Penelope, and JJ.

“Let’s get this cleaned up,” he says, snapping you out of your very elaborate fantasy (typically your fantasies don’t involve court costs, but this is Aaron, so anything is possible.) He wraps his hand around your injured finger and pulls you up to standing with the other, and you just follow along as he leads you over to the sink, turns on the tap to let the water run over your cut. The way you’re looking up at him like he’s the best thing you’ve ever seen has to be painfully obvious, but he just reaches over for the first aid kit, takes out a bandage, and wraps it carefully around the tip of your finger. You sigh.

It may have started out as lust, but you’re pretty sure you’re also in love.

You have got to find a way to get him to notice you as more than just an agent, a teammate, a friend, and so: Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ begins. You fill the girls in on your master plan, and they fill in Derek and Spencer just so there are more people to laugh at you when you crash and burn, probably. But you’ve got a plan, will be pulling out all the stops, so you might not fail horribly after all. Hopefully.

God, you absolutely cannot fail. You can’t go out with another software engineer with the personality of a peanut or another investment banker who thinks buying you an appetizer means you owe him a blow job in the front seat of his Tesla. You will go fucking insane.

Today’s plan is T for tits, because yours are pretty awesome and almost no one who is attracted to women can resist them. You wear your usual white button down top, but you leave the top two buttons undone, and you add a red, lacy bra for a little additional temptation.

“Here are those consults you asked for,” you say after knocking lightly on the doorframe; Aaron waves you inside. You set them down on his desk, then glance over the open folder in front of him, make a curious noise. “What are you working on up here?”

You walk around his desk, so you’re standing next to him, and lean forward to look over the case file with one hand on the back of his chair and the other pressed against the desk. If he would look over, he would see right down your top, your breasts high and smushed together thanks to the lacy push up… but he looks straight down at the file, taps his pen against it.

“Murders in Detroit. I don’t think we’ll go—they look like mob hits to me, so I’m going to refer the case to Organized Crime.” You hum, turn the file toward you and lean in a little closer, letting your hair spill over your shoulder, the neck of your blouse fall open. Boobs and perfume are usually a one-two punch that is capable of bringing any man to his knees, and while he does turn to look at you, it feels entirely too respectful for your liking. You sigh softly, give up for today, and turn the file back.

“Well you know best, boss. Any time I don’t have to go to Detroit is alright by me.” You flash him a smile, and he reciprocates, and you head back downstairs for a cup of coffee and maybe a stale shame pastry.

The team looks up at you when you approach, and you shake your head.

“No luck,” you mutter, and Derek laughs, crosses his arms over his chest.

“Maybe you’re not very good at flirting. What did you do?” You roll your eyes—your flirting is not the problem, it’s Aaron’s morals and manners or whatever—and walk over to Spencer’s desk, demonstrate with him what you did to Aaron; you put your hand on the back of his chair, toss your hair over your shoulder, lean in, and Spencer swallows hard, licks his lips, and looks abruptly down at his hands. That reaction, you would have gladly taken.

Derek clears his throat, and so does Emily. Hmm.

“I’m good at flirting,” you say, straightening up; Spencer is blushing, and it’s super cute, so you pat him lightly on the head. “Maybe he’s an ass man. I’ll wear a skirt tomorrow and we’ll see if that gets the job done.”

“Good idea,” Derek says, and when you walk past him, he gives you a once over that makes you feel pretty damn good. “In the meantime, why don’t you come and demonstrate on me?”

There’s no denying he is one of the finest men you’ve ever seen in your life, and earlier on in your career you might have taken him up on it—it would have to be better than Marty McTesla, that’s a given—but you know he’s mostly teasing, even if there is a thin layer of actual desire beneath it all. You just fluff your hair and take your seat and mentally flip through your closet to try to come up with an outfit Aaron can’t refuse. You decide on a pencil skirt, because that’s got to be every boss's fantasy, right? You have one you never wear to the office because it’s a little sexy, tight on your hips and ass, with a zipper up the back that you can open a little and use to your advantage. When you walk into the bullpen that morning, JJ whistles, and you grin, do a little twirl.

“Thank you, thank you. This has to work, right?” You turn to face Emily, then turn away from Emily, butt right in her face. “Emily? This will work, right?”

“That’s... definitely going to work,” she murmurs, tapping the cap of her pen against her teeth, and you have to admit you have a good feeling about this one. For as great as breasts are, your ass is your best asset, and if the open top and red bra didn’t work, this has to be your ticket to some sweet, dirty loving, it just has to.

You all head up for the morning meeting, filing into the briefing room, and you give Aaron a soft greeting and a smile just like every day, and then offer to help him pass out whatever stack of papers he’s holding in his hands—fire drills and emergency protocol, or something boring like that. He accepts the help, and you take the fliers, but instead of walking around and handing them to each member of the team like he would, you bend over the table, reach across, and drop the pages in front of everyone.

JJ is the furthest away, and you practically have to climb onto the table to reach her; you grin and wink when she takes the papers out of your hand, and she shakes her head like you’re too much, but when you stand back up to hand Aaron the extras, he doesn’t seem the slightest bit interested.

He thanks you for your help, and you take your seat and listen to him go on about emergency exits and fire extinguishers and seriously start to contemplate moving to Europe to start a new life, or something else equally dramatic.

Because you don’t give up easily, you orchestrate one more attempt to get him to show some interest in you. You know he usually goes downstairs to the cafeteria for lunch, and that the elevator is a jam-packed nightmare because the main stairwell is currently under construction (which is probably why you needed to go over safety protocol, now that you think about it; shutting down the stairwell seems very unsafe.) You usually pack your lunch, but you can go buy an overpriced salad for the sake of your sex drive, so you wait for the elevator when he does, making small talk about your mornings until it dings and arrives on your floor.

He tries to let you in first, gentleman that he is, but that won’t work with your plan, so you insist, earning eye rolls from the other passengers on the elevator. You give Amy from Forensic Accounting a dirty look and then step in after him, lean back against him because there’s really no fucking room to even take a breath.

He’s taller than you, but with heels on your ass still fits pretty nicely against his thighs; a little too nicely, you think, as you get wet just from standing near him in the elevator, the heat of his body through your skirt. You really are a mess.

There are two more floors to go before the cafeteria, and no one gets off, but more people manage to cram into the elevator, which means you press more tightly against him to make room. Someone bumps into you roughly, which makes you unsteady on your feet; Aaron puts his hands low on your hips to keep you from wobbling, and your eyes literally roll back in your head, but he just leans in to mutter, “sorry” into your ear. You say nothing, because you’d probably moan if you opened your mouth, but you shake your head so he knows it’s not a problem.

When everyone gets off downstairs, you hurry to the restroom and don’t look back, turn on the faucet and splash some cold water against your overheated neck and chest. So much for that plan. All you managed to do was work yourself up into a fury.

While you’re in line to pay for your overpriced salad, you open up your dating app and secure yourself drinks with a hot lawyer for tonight. Seduction is clearly not working with Aaron, he’s clearly not interested, and you have to find a way to move on before you have a spontaneous workplace orgasm and get fired from the job you love—all of his tight new suits have been dark so far, but if he shows up in gray, you’re not going to have the will to survive anymore. You have to plan for the worst.

The lawyer is nice enough, but he’s too short, too thin; it’s hard to imagine Aaron’s body weight on top of you when he’s fucking you, but you’re nothing if not resourceful, so you move your hands to his head of thick, dark hair and focus on that—that, and his hot breath against your throat when he comes a little too soon and mutters “sorry” into your ear.

“It’s okay,” you pant, reaching between you to rub your clit. You close your eyes, tip your head back, clench around him; you imagine it’s Aaron inside you instead, and bury your face in his shoulder when you come.

He’s willing to stay, but you explain why it’s better if he leaves, and then you fall back into bed, fumble for your vibrator, and get off again so you’re not too distracted by reality to really enjoy your fantasy.

It’s a little twisted, but it is what it is. You’re standing in the breakroom a few days later, swiping through the dating app and bullshitting with Derek and Penelope, when this guy pops up on your screen. He’s not your usual type, younger and blonder than you prefer these days, a pilot, but something about his profile makes you pause; when it hits you, you blow out a breath and look up at your friends.

“So you guys know Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ is officially dead in the water,” you begin, and they nod, “and now I’m focusing my energy on trying to get over him. I went on a date with a guy that kind of looked like him, and that didn’t really help, but what if…” You turn your screen to face them; Derek nods like it might be crazy enough to work, but Penelope grimaces.

“No, I don’t think that’s going to work. It might actually be crossing a line,” she says with a frown, and you look to Derek for his input.

“It’s more of a coincidence than anything, right? It’s not like he’s unattractive and this is the only reason you’re going out with him. He’s a good looking guy,” he admits, and you’re really grateful he’s willing to help you rationalize this probably terrible idea into a potentially decent idea.

You send the pilot a message, and he wants to meet up; he suggests a bar near the both of you, and you know it’s risky, but you tell him you happen to make a great gin and tonic and that you have everything you need at home, if he’d like to meet you there instead.

He does, and you don’t even make him that drink, just take off his clothes, get him into your bed.

“That’s right, babe—wanna hear you lose it for me. Say my name, gorgeous,” he groans, fingers digging into your hips as he fucks you from behind, and you close your eyes, fist your hands in the sheets, and give him what he wants.

“Oh, fuck, Aaron. Fuck me harder.” His thrusts are already rough and punishing, but this is the best you’ve felt in a really long time, so you’re eager, desperate for more. “Yeah, Aaron, just like that.”

“Tell me my big cock feels so good in your pussy.” He slaps your ass, and you moan involuntarily, press back against him, panting.

“Your big cock feels so good, Aaron, so good in my pussy. Fuck me, Aaron, destroy me.” He grunts, tenses, and moves his hands to your shoulders, slamming your body tight against his as he comes. “Yes, don’t stop, Aaron, don’t stop,” you plead, hips working together, and when he smacks your ass again you come gasping his name, collapsing against the bed with a breathless sigh.

You feel a lot dirtier than you expected you would, even though it was kind of awesome, and ultimately Penelope was right; it was fun while it lasted, but it didn’t do a damn thing to help you forget about the only Aaron you actually want in your bed. Monday morning, Aaron comes into the office wearing a tight navy suit with a striped white shirt and a navy tie, and you follow him with your eyes from the glass double doors all the way up to his office, mouth open a little. Your eyes get heavy and your breathing picks up, which is the dumbest biological reaction to a man’s ass you’ve ever had—but god, it’s a perfect ass—and JJ has to actually lightly slap your cheek to get you to snap the fuck out of it.

“Are you horny right now?” she asks, a little grossed out. “I can’t handle you.”

“I know you guys all call him a tightass, but I mean, if the pants fit… and god, do they fit.” You pick up a case file and fan yourself with it. “He’s so fucking hot. What am I supposed to do? Getting railed by fake Aaron didn’t do shit; I think I might actually have to transfer.”

“You’re not transferring. You just have to get over it.”

“Are you kidding? She’s like a cat in heat when he’s around,” Derek says with a smirk. “I think I’m getting horny just because she’s horny.”

“Okay, so why can’t I have that effect on him?” you ask with your arms open. “Do you think it’s the pheromones? Maybe they’re incompatible. Smell me—does it turn you on?” you ask Spencer, presenting your neck, and he looks like a deer in the headlights, then leans in to sniff you.

“Uh… you smell nice?” he says with a shrug and a half smile. “I think it’s just your perfume, though.”

“Put your face near her boobs,” Derek says, and Spencer starts to lean in again. “I think the pheromones are stronger there.” He pauses about halfway to your chest.

“Actually, they’re stronger near the genitals, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

“What’s going on down there?” You freeze and then turn to look up at Aaron’s office, where he leans against the doorframe; Spencer stands up comically fast, and you take a step back, clearing your throat. Aaron’s scowling—it’s really sexy and it’s making your heart beat in your stupid, traitor pussy—and then he sighs visibly. “We have a case, come on.”

The case is only a half hour away, so you drive, which is horrible, because you are with Aaron and Derek, and Derek lets you sit in the front just to watch you squirm.

It gets bad before you even pull out of the parking garage, because Aaron puts his hand on the back of your headrest to look behind him and reverse the SUV, and you look over at his body—his stomach, his lap, his thighs—and then quickly face forward when he puts the car into drive. You’re flushed, breathing heavily, and when he looks you over quizzically, asks if you’re alright, you just clear your throat and nod.

“Allergies,” Derek supplies from the back, and you mentally thank him for the save, but you kind of also want to smack him for putting you in this position in the first place.

You’re practically turned on the entire ride, even as you go over the details of the case, because his legs are spread and your eyes keep moving to his crotch; at one point, you think you notice his already unfairly tight pants getting a little tighter, but it’s just a trick of light.

By the time you arrive at the precinct, you are more than ready for fresh air, to put some distance between yourself and Aaron. You’re out of the car almost as soon as he turns off the engine, which probably looks weird as hell, but for your sanity you can’t give it too much thought.

The head detective and a junior detective give you a run down on the case while the other half of your team meets with officers at the crime scene. The head detective, a tall, handsome man in his forties, is looking at you like you’re a juicy steak and he hasn’t eaten in months; Derek notices, turns to you with a raised eyebrow and mouths ‘pheromones,’ Aaron is clearly unhappy about the detective’s lack of professionalism, and you couldn’t really care less about the attention. You just want to do your job and go home and touch yourself to thoughts of your boss… as one does.

The local police already have a board made up, so the three of you travel to speak with some witnesses, head back to the precinct, work the tip lines. Aaron seems to be looking at you more than usual, and when you get up to stretch your legs, he’s right behind you, following you out into the hall.

“Are you sure you're alright today?” he asks with a serious expression, hands on his hips. Your mouth waters. “You’ve been acting a little strange.”

“Stranger than normal?” You try to smile, to lighten the mood, but as oblivious as he’s been about everything else, he’s always been able to tell when you try to hide your emotions with humor.

“The last couple weeks? Yes.” He moves a little closer, and you try your best not to let it affect you—or at least not to let it show when it does. “You know by now that you can come to me anytime, for anything.” He doesn’t present it as a question, but it’s clear on his face that he’s looking for an answer.

“I know. I’m going through something… stupid,” you say with a shrug. “Something I should be able to handle, but it’s harder than I imagined.” He frowns, flicks his eyes over your face.

“Let me help you.”

“You can’t; trust me, you can’t,” you say, pleading with your voice, begging him to drop it. “I’ll get through it.” You shut your eyes briefly, exhale, and he reaches down to take one of your hands in his.

“Are you in trouble?” This is the most intimately he’s ever touched you, and it’s not just your body that sings; you know you’re in love with him, have been for a while, but focusing on the horny feelings is easier. It makes it feel like you have less to lose.

“No, it’s nothing like that. I just need some time. Thank you.” You squeeze his hand, and then Derek pokes his head into the hall behind him.

“We got a tip about the unsub barricading a house downtown; the detective is mobilizing SWAT,” he says; when he glances down at your hands, you pull yours softly out of Aaron’s grasp.

“What do you want us to do, boss?” you ask, effectively ending your conversation, and he tells you to get suited up with comms and Kevlar so the three of you can head to the new scene. Aaron is, unsurprisingly, a complete badass, storming the house along with SWAT, you at his side; it’s his way of reminding you that he trusts you, that it can and should go both ways—he is so perfectly predictable, reassuring with gestures over words even in a situation like this one. It does nothing to help you stop wanting him.

He’s a little rough with the unsub (and that doesn’t help either,) looks ruffled and kind of pissed when you climb in the SUV to head back to the precinct. Spencer, JJ, and Emily meet you there, and you take the opportunity to vent about how indescribably good Aaron has looked all day—Spencer bows out of the conversation early, but JJ and Emily are kind enough to listen to your insane, horny ramblings.

“He’s just so hot—he always has been, but the new suits? They’re so tight, and his shirts show off his tummy, and his pants show off his thighs… You guys will never understand the things I want to do to him.”

“Okay, he’s handsome enough, but you’re nasty about it—I can’t handle you,” JJ says, not for the first time. You groan in response.

“How can you say that? Have you fucking seen him? I’m not supposed to think nasty thoughts when he walks around looking like that?”

You feel yourself getting a little out of hand, and Emily and JJ look like they’re trying to shut you up, but you can’t stop yourself. It’s like the floodgates have opened.

“He’s never going to know what I want to do to him… what I want him to do to me. I tried so hard, and he didn’t even look at me. All I wanted to do was get on my knees for him and grab his ass so he could fuck my throat as hard as fucking possible—is that so much to ask for?” You pause, but neither of them say anything, just look scandalized. “I guess I’m going to have to name my vibrator Hotch now, since that’s clearly the closest I’ll ever get to him giving me an orgasm.”

“Do you really mean that?”

You jump a fucking foot, spin around, almost knocking Emily and JJ over in the process; Aaron is in front of you, his brow furrowed, arms crossed over his vest (he hasn’t taken that thing off yet? You threw yours on the table like the minute you got back), and your mouth opens and your eyes close at the same time.

Oh fucking fuck.

“We’re gonna… go,” Emily says awkwardly, and you open your eyes abruptly when Aaron speaks again.

“No, we’re going to go; come with me,” he tells you, and he turns and heads down the hall; you look back at Emily and JJ, swallow hard, and follow him, your heart beating fast.

He steps into a small room with a copy machine, table, shelves of paper and envelopes and other supplies, and closes the door behind you, engages the lock. You are torn between being very worried he’s going to fire you and super turned on, because this is definitely a fantasy you’ve had before.

“Aaron,” you begin, running a hand through your hair. “I’m sorry. I think it was the adrenaline; it makes me run my mouth and I can’t stop it, you know that.” He’s facing away from you, his hands on his hips again, and you can see the way his body moves when he sighs.

“Did you mean it, though?” When he turns to look at you, he doesn’t look angry, he looks… nervous. “Do you want me?” His reaction is unexpected—not great, but not necessarily bad—and you bite your lip, nod.

“Yeah. So fucking bad. And I’m sorry—” That’s as far into your apology as you get before his mouth is on yours, his hands on your face, lips pressing against you for a rough, eager kiss. Your hands move to his waist, pulling him closer by the vest, and he lifts you up onto the table, tugs down the v-neck of your t-shirt, mouths at your throat.

“You think I didn’t look at you?” he says when he pulls away for a breath, tipping your chin down so you’ll look into his eyes. “You think I didn’t see that lacy red bra, your perfect ass bent over in the tight skirt? You think I didn’t feel it pressed against me in the elevator, that I didn’t want to push that skirt up and sink inside you and take you there in front of everyone?”

You moan, chest heaving, twist your fingers in his hair and pull him in for another kiss, dripping and trembling at his admission.

“I would have let you,” you murmur against his lips, and there’s no doubt in your mind that you would have, if that’s what he’d wanted. “I would let you do anything: not just let you, but I’d want it, beg for it. I meant what I said—I’d get on my knees for you, anytime, anywhere, do whatever you want me to do. I want to be yours.”

He catches your mouth in another rough kiss, then puts his hands on your waist, guides you off the table, and flips open his belt, the fly of his pants.

“Oh god. What are you doing?” you ask, and he slides down his zipper, pulls you with him until his back hits the door.

“I’m giving you what you asked for,” he rasps, staring into your eyes, his gaze smoldering. It’s so fucking hot your pussy clenches.

You lick your lips, drop to your knees on the tile floor so hard it hurts, tug his pants open and pull out his thick, hard, veiny cock.

Your dreams and fantasies did not do it justice.

“Fuck. Thank you,” you mumble, looking up at him, and he wraps his hands in your hair, pulls tightly. You moan just from that and the heft of him in your hand. “Thank you.”

“Shh.” He scrapes his fingers over your scalp, hums as you start stroking him, licking the head. “Don’t thank me—I should be thanking you, beautiful, perfect girl. In what world do I get this?” There are lots of things you want to say to that, but you’ve waited long enough, will have to say them later.

You lick your lips, collect lots of saliva, and take him into your mouth, get your hands on his ass and dig your nails in. Aaron groans, tightens his fingers in your hair, and when you look up at him it feels like a fever dream, like it’s not real but a delicious figment of your imagination.

For a minute or two, you stroke him with a tight, wet mouth, and it’s got you aching between your legs, but he’s supposed to be fucking your throat, technically, if he’s giving you what you asked for. You pull off, tell him that, and he tugs your head back roughly, guides you back onto his cock and starts thrusting into your mouth, earning vibrating moans around it.

“God, you’re so perfect. How long have you been thinking about this? How long have you touched yourself to the thought of me fucking your pretty face?” He picks up the pace, pushes deeper when he sees you can handle it, and you squeeze his ass, feel your eyelids flutter as he uses your mouth, pulls your hair. “Are you a whore for me?” he grinds out, and the moan that rips from your throat is inhuman, embarrassing, and absolutely accurate. “Yes you are, baby, yes you are. My pretty whore, on your knees, mouth stretched wide and filled with cock.”

You’ve never been so turned on from a blow job, but this is Aaron, hot and dirty and forceful, everything you imagined and more. You squeeze him tighter, encourage rougher treatment, and he presses his hands against the back for your head, slams his dick in so deep it aches; you don’t gag, but it’s a near thing, and when he pulls you off you gasp for breath and whimper at the loss at the same time.

“Enough of that, baby. You were perfect, so good for me, almost choking on my cock, but I bet your pussy is wet and aching. Do you want me inside it?”

“Holy—yes, fuck, please. Please,” you breathe, and he helps you to your feet and then pushes you against the door, gets your pants down. His rough treatment has you whining, gripping the hair on the back of his head, and you kick off your boots and socks so you can step out of your pants completely. “Keep all this on,” you tell him, pants and shirt and tie and Kevlar vest and all, and he nods, kisses you deeply, presses two fingers inside you.

“Fuck,” he groans when you receive him easily, soft and wet and open, and he uses his free hand to sweep down your top, slipping the buttons loose so he can get a better view of your tits and black lace bra that’s holding them. “So beautiful, and finally mine,” he mutters against your throat, and you whine, let your head fall back against the door, and give in to the pleasure of his thick fingers moving inside you.

“Finally mine,” you murmur, tugging his hair, slamming down against his hand, and when you come it’s like a miracle; you cry out, clamp down, and wrap your free hand around his bicep and squeeze until you’re lightheaded, dazed, desperate for another.

You kiss, deep and passionate and filthy, and Aaron slides his fingers into your mouth, pumps them a few times, then kisses you again.

“Good girl. Are you ready for my cock now?” You pant, gasp, and nod your head, and he pushes your shirt off your shoulders, lifts your legs so you’ll wrap them around his waist, and pushes inside you. You both moan, kiss, moan again, and then you wrap your arms around his broad back, hook your fingers in his vest, and hold on while he pounds your body roughly against the door.

“Oh, Aaron, fuck. Yeah. Want you to slam your body against mine; want to feel it, want to feel all of you.” He looks into your eyes, breathing hard, fucks up into you, hands on your ass, his hips and torso pinning you in place.

“Sweet, pretty, slutty girl,” he pants, spreading you open and shoving himself inside your pussy. “You tried tempting me, and oh, did it work. I might not have shown it…” He ducks in to kiss the base of your throat and you cling tighter, rock against his hips. “But it worked. You dressed like a whore just for me, just so I’d notice you; do you I know went home and stroked my cock and came with your name on my lips?”

“Holy shit. That’s so hot.” You move a hand to his hair again, can’t not thread your fingers there now that it’s allowed. “Could have fucked me like this then. Could have come in my pussy, not your hand.”

“We’ll make up for lost time,” he promises, and he thrusts up with his whole body, so you can feel it pressed against yours—shoulders, chest, stomach, all the very best parts of him. “I’m not too much for you? Can you take it?”

“Perfect for me,” you gasp, holding tightly to his vest at his shoulder and his shirt at his hip, bouncing into his thrusts. “So perfect, want you. I can take it. I can take it, Aaron.” Your mouths meet for a messy, hot kiss, lots of tongue, and you groan. “Give it to me, give it all to me.”

He bends his knees a little more, fucks you so rough and hard your mouth falls open and all you can do is whimper, clutch him, gracelessly kiss back when he presses his lips to yours.

He comes first, holds tightly to your hip and pumps inside you, fills you and then some, so it drips out while he’s still inside. It feels sinful, even after everything, and with a few rough drags of his palm over your lace covered nipple, you tighten and grip him and gasp out his name.

You both slow, and then he turns you, leans back against the door for a little relief after holding you up for so long. He nuzzles into your hair, and you bury your face in his neck, and you kiss soft and sweet until you’re feeling stable enough to hop out of his arms and put your clothes back on. He rights his as well, and when you’re both put together he wraps you up in a hug, kisses you, holds you with soft hands on your cheeks.

“I really have waited so long for this.” He brushes his lips over yours, and you sigh. “You never indicated… I was trying to be professional. Then out of nowhere you were leaning over my desk and bending over the table, and I was a little blown away.” You nod, can see that, pull him down for a kiss.

“It’s the goddamn suits,” you say with a half smile, and he gives you a curious look. “Your new, better fitting suits? They fit you so fucking well it’s almost illegal; I’m thinking of pursuing charges against your tailor for reckless endangerment on behalf of my libido, and the coffee carafe, and my poor, worn out vibrator.” He chuckles, hugs you closer, squeezes you so tightly against his body you almost pass out from all the good things you feel.

“Maybe we can strike a deal,” he murmurs, pushing your hair back behind your ear, and you bite your lip, nod.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll think of something you can do to make it worth my while.” After a little more hugging and kissing, the two of you figure it’s time to emerge from the supply closet; you don’t see your team anywhere, which surprises you, but when you get to your phone and pull up your texts, it all makes sense.

Derek: Congrats on the sex. The four of us headed home because no one wants to ride with the two of you and your pheromones.

Emily: Yay, you did it!! Drinks on me next time we go out!

JJ: You guys are loud; don’t make a habit of that.

Penelope: I hear congrats are in order! And by hear, I don’t mean hear. There’s NOT an audio clip or anything, so don’t worry about that!!

Spencer: Emily took an audio clip. Is it normal for girls to enjoy being called a whore? You don’t have to answer that.

You take a very deep breath, give him the gist of the messages—you’re on your own, they heard at least part of it, there is some potentially damning evidence that needs to be destroyed—and you leave the precinct to head home in a better mood than you’ve been in in a very long time.

Aaron takes you out for a late dinner, and he spends the night at your place, falls asleep warm and solid and very naked in the middle of your bed.

Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #prompt

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

Text

The Brothers and Side Characters Play the Sims

I don’t know what possessed me to make this but WHATEVER. I’ve been playing the Sims since I was a wee little girl, and I’ve seen my fair share of weird Sims stuff that I feel would fit these bozos perfectly.

My Sims have a Functional Family Life Because I Don’t (Lucifer)

God dammit Levi’s obsessed with another game... ugh.

Spends 5 minutes in Create-a-Sim and hops into a starter home.

Lucifer’s the type to start with all the average stuff and then build their stuff up as his sim gets promotions.

It’s just... so peaceful...

...he’s adopting a dog.

Look at his new little virtual family... his sim-kids are self sufficient and getting A’s in school, his Sim spouse MC or Diavolo take your pick loves his Sim-self, his sim-dog-

WAIT NO- THE DOG’S AN ELDER?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

...

He’s fine. It was just a virtual dog. *sniffle*

He’s now spending his free time drinking Demonus and playing the Sims.

What’s a mod? Levi why does your sim have gun?

Behold, My Gorgeous Home... It’s a Box (Mammon)

Mammon, like the rest of the HOL, is mooching off of Levi’s Origin account.

“AW SHIT! This house looks awesome! I’m gonna build it for Sim-me to live in!”

Mammon proceeds to build a box with rooms. Yay...

He just picks the funnest sounding job if he picks any job at all for his Sim. That’s how he ended up making 9 dollars an hour in the criminal career.

Didn’t stop Mammon from buying that solid gold bathroom set from Get Famous... a box with solid gold bathrooms.

His Sim is broke send help-

“Leviiiiiii my sim needs money... the people my sim kidnapped and is forcing to paint aren’t making enough money...” “Ugh... press control shift C and type ‘motherlode’.”

...Levi made a mistake.

“FUCK YEAH! MOTHERLODE!”

His sim’s life is so chaotic, he has a piranha pool that his sim has almost died in twice, the sim is carrying on several torrid love affairs, his sim got struck by lightning, his sim has nearly died in a grilled cheese making accident twice... in the same day.

At least once Sim-Mammon and Sim-MC get married things calm down a little.

Mammon finds out what custom content is and proceeds to download EVERYTHING HE CAN FIND.

And now he’s asking Levi why his computer is running so slow.

Expansion Pack King (Leviathan)

He got into it back when the Sims 2 was new, he’s a veteran fan.

“Bro remember when Agnes Crumplebottom would show up and whack the shit out of your sims if they were flirting?”

“Remember when that witch would show up randomly on the lot you were on if you had Makin’ Magic?”

“Remember when Bella Goth was abducted by aliens and we just... didn’t question it?”

He whines about the Sims4 and how crappy it is but still buys every expansion pack, game pack, and stuff pack.

This boy watches like 40 hours of built tutorials and ends up sobbing over his weird roofs.

“WHY DOESN’T IT LOOK AS NICE AS THE ONE I’M LOOKING AT?! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

The mod folder is so full istg-

Levi gets custom content for the sole purpose of making his favourite fictional characters.

This is why Henry and the Lord of Shadows are married and Ruri-chan and Sim-Levi are roommates.

Oh my god they were roommates-

Levi also added his brothers to the world and uh... Sim-Mammon died in a tragic pool accident F.

Levi then proceeded to befriend the Grim Reaper.

He’s anxiously awaiting the release of Paralives.

Wait Gameplay? In This Build Simulator? (Satan)

Satan’s here to build and leave. Gameplay who?

Our favourite bundle of rage is a master architect and the amount of followers on the Gallery he has shows it.

He takes up those build shell challenges and always ends up making them look positively perfect.

Asmo’s always using his houses, and Satan often takes requests when he gets bored.

No Mammon, he reserves the right to refuse to build a golden castle for you- YOUR SIM HAS 40 SIMOLEONS-

No mods, no CC, he’s building with what EA gave him.

...and EA gave him debug objects, and he’s not going to explain how to get them.

The one time he did actually play with a family... it was one sim and seven cats.

He tries to play without cheats... and ends up getting frustrated and turns on cheats.

All hail the Pets Expansion Pack.

Custom Content Soap Opera (Asmodeus)

Asmo spends 5 hours in Create a Sim then just... clicks out of the game.

That’s how it goes most of the time, buuuuuut when he gets super invested in a family he’s made, boy howdy is he INVESTED.

Sim A is carrying on an affair with Sim C who’s in love with Sim B who’s married to Sim A but Sim D wants to kill Sim A and C even though they’re the illegitimate child of Sim C-

When Asmo realizes that in the Sims 4 he needs to manufacture all the drama himself and he can’t just sit back with a glass of wine and watch the fireworks, he switches to the Sims 2 and 3.

“...why is this old lady beating up my Sim..?”

He immediately recoils in horror upon seeing how ugly the Sims are pre Sims4.

HE NEEDS TO FIX THIS-

Ah, there we go, perfect. Custom Content to the rescue!

He ends up remaking the entire world just so he doesn’t have to look at weird looking Sims.

Asmo is the only one to have finished a proper Legacy Challenge, but it gets crazy chaotic after gen 3.

“My sim just got abducted by aliens and now he’s pregnant- WHAT?!”

He has about 40 saves and only two he actually plays.

Just a Big Ol’ Happy Family (Beelzebub)

Beel found the game, proceeded to make everyone in create-a-sim to the best of his abilities, and made everyone get along.

That’s why Sim-Lucifer and Sim-Belphie are on a swing set together, they’re friends :D

“Hey Luke do you think you can make this?” “I-is that a cake shaped like a hamburger?” “Yes. Please make.”

He took one look at the cooking options and decided to max out his Sim’s cooking skill to unlock all the options.

Beel proceeded to drool all over his keyboard. Gross...

Boy howdy did he have some crazy dinner suggestions!

Overall, very wholesome Sim-life, except for the time Sim-Levi died because the toilet caught fire, don’t worry, Sim-Beel knows how to make ambrosia.

All is good in the Sim save...

...until Sim-Beel ate pufferfish nigiri and fuckin died-

Wait Did I Not Pause- (Belphie)

Huh, this game looks fine... I’ll play for a little- *SNORE*

Belphie makes some sims, plops them into a starter home, plays for an hour, then falls asleep.

He wakes up five hours later to absolute carnage.

Three sims have died because someone decided to make Mac and Cheese and the oven caught fire, the kids were taken away by social services, and the dog ran away.

“...heheh, holy shit everyone look.”

He doesn’t play often, but when he does, death occurs. He has found out every death method for every game from Sims 2 to 4.

And that INCLUDES the Sims Medieval! You guys remember that game?

Sometimes it’s not intentional, but Belphie got bored with the totally normal life his sims were living and decided to spice it up.

“Why are the ghosts breaking my showers..?”

Help There’s a Bug- (Diavolo)

The Crown Prince started playing when he noticed Lucifer was playing it.

He was immediately obsessed.

Dia mostly plays the Sims Medieval because he likes the feeling of achievement after completing a quest!

“Barbatos... why isn’t my Sim completing their task? The icon won’t show up.” “My lord it appears the game is bugged.” “:(“

No one thought to tell Diavolo that EA doesn’t plan on offering bug support to a game made in like... 2009

This doesn’t matter! Look at how great his kingdom is doing- oh no his hero has the plague-

He plays through the Pirates and Nobles expansion and manages to get the peaceful ending, he’s so proud of himself.

“MC! Look! My Monarch’s sword is permanently on fire and I’m fighting an evil wizard!”

When he does play the other Sims games he’s pretty basic, though, he does a great job at furnishing!

Dia gets crazy sad when his Sims die... he turns off aging.

Builder no. 2 (Barbatos)

Barbie doesn’t have time for this... but when he does, he builds.

No create a sim.

No playing the game as intended.

Just builds.

It’s relaxing, okay? A nice little suburban house he’s never going to play in, maybe a treehouse, maybe a big Hollywood Mansion...

The only time he actually plays the game outside of build mode is when someone needs his help to fix something in-game.

He does download custom content build items if he feels bored by the current selection.

Oh Crap What Am I Doing?! (Simeon)

Help him. Please.

He’s so confused.

“Luke, why is my sim upset?” “He’s hungry, Simeon.” “Oh, how do I fix that?” “...Simeon-”

There’s a toilet in the middle of the living room.

The fridge is facing the wall.

There’s no bathtub or shower.

The house is on fire- there is no god- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Okay, once he gets the hang of it he’s sitting pretty. His sims have good jobs, the kids are getting good grades, everything’s fine.

...

But Simeon won’t forget the nightmares.

What Even is This Save? (Solomon)

Solomon’s save is the definition of chaos.

One sim’s a vampire, the other is a spellcaster that really wants to fight the Callientes for some reason, there’s one normal sim that’s always sick for some reason,

It gets weird, confusing, and horrible.

Just how Solomon likes it.

His house makes no sense, like, what even is architecture?

Money cheats are needed because Solomon‘a goal of chaos and confusion is proving to be kind of expensive.

Square up Mortimer Goth, Solomon’s sims are here to steal your weird knight statue that’s worth a shit ton of simoleons for NO REASON.

He joined the scientist career for the sole purpose of getting to the alien planet and kidnapping adding an alien to the household via cheats.

The vampire ended up dying on their wedding day because Solomon forgot that he gave them the sun weakness.

Oh well, the ghost got added to the household! VAMPIRE GHOST!

The Child (Luke)

Before you say Luke’s too young to play the Sims, you should know that I was nine when I first started playing, and I turned out fiiiiiiiiiine.

He’s just happy to be playing.

Look, his sims are gardening :D

Look, two of them are getting married :D

Look, they had a baby :D

Look, his sims are building a rocket ship :D

Look, his sims’s rocket just crashed-

The concept of death hit the little angel right in the face that day.

“*sniffle*... my sims...”

Don’t worry, with tears in his eyes, Luke quit without saving and everything was fine!

Speaking of My Sims, Luke played MySims Sky Heroes and that was when Luke had his first bout of gamer rage.

MC came over to hang out with Solomon and Simeon, and in the distance they could just hear:

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TIME WASN’T FAST ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE STORY!? I’LL SHOW YOU FAST ENOUGH TIME!”

Okay, maybe Simeon should take the game away... just for a bit... he should take heed not to be bitten by the incredibly angry chihuahua.

Bonus:

MC: Why are our Sims married?

*Insert Boy Here*: Uh... that’s weird... I have no clue why they’re doing that...

#Obey me #obey me headcanons #Obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me! headcanons #obey me shall we date #Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Mammon #obey me leviathan #Obey me Satan #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me Beelzebub #Obey me Belphegor #Obey me Diavolo #Obey me MC #obey me barbatos #Obey me Simeon #Obey me Luke #Obey me Solomon

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

Note

What would happen if you were sent back and ended up in the orphanage with Tom Riddle—and say you also had magic?

Oh boy.

Well, there's a lot to question here. Judging by the... spirit of this ask, I presume I'm... pretty much reincarnated. I'm in the orphanage, I'm much younger than I am now and a child, I'm pre-Hogwarts age, and I retain my current knowledge.

For the purpose of this ask I suppose I also retain my current mental faculties. Despite being in the body of an eight-year-old, I'm not The Carnivorous Muffin at eight.

Welp, there's a lot to consider here.

First, I probably don't realize I'm in Harry Potter for quite some time and instead assume I've been reincarnated to some parallel universe. It's the 1930's, I'm in England in the depression, WWI has occurred and the vast majority of major historical events I know about seem to have happened in the right order, and this Earth is eerily similar to the Earth I left behind.

Strange that I appear to remember everything of my past life with my adult mental abilities, but alright universe, I guess that's how we're going to play this.

What I do know is that I'm dirt poor, presumably still a woman which does not bode well for my career prospects, and if I want any prospects in life period I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail for it. It'd be great if I got adopted to help with this, and might be nice to have people in my life who love me, but there's a lot of orphans in the world and a lot of orphans who are much less weird than I am.

The orphanage is the orphanage and not great, Mrs. Cole is overworked, the orphanage is chronically understaffed, and the kids are running wild beating the shit out of each other.

Being a girl, I probably don't have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of me quite as much, but I still probably try to keep my head down and don't aggravate the particularly beefy looking orphans.

Yes, there's some very angry gremlin named Tom Riddle around who will shove you down the stairs in retribution, but that's just a weird coincidence. And then supernatural shit starts happening. Billy's rabbit hangs itself, people get injuries when Tom is nowhere near them, and I start wondering if this is really the Tom Riddle.

I'm in Wool's Orphanage, my matron is Mrs. Cole, Tom Riddle is running around lighting things on fire. It's possible, though it could all be a strange coincidence.

Now, how things go from here depends on how controlled my own magic is. Since accidental magic typically does manifest at least once or twice, it probably does manifest for me for.. something. If Tom Riddle's there to witness it then...

Well, I imagine he's very offended. Here he was, special, different, better than everyone else, and then some girl in the orphanage (who dares to get very good grades on her assignments in school) has it too.

And I just stand there, smiling, going "Tee hee".

He probably confronts me to prove that he's better at it than I am, and he probably is unless the universe hates both him and me, but having someone else with the Shining around probably prompts him to take me as his protégé (in part so he can show off and in part because he's genuinely excited to be able to share this super cool talent).

I am now apprentice to eight-year-old Tom Riddle. Whoop de doo.

Well, I don't remember this part of Harry Potter, so now I'm probably confused as to where I am again. Regardless, I try to advise Tom on how to tone it down and not, say, traumatize Amy and Dennis for life and antagonize all the other orphans forever. He probably doesn't take me seriously. What do I know, I can't even light that patch of grass on fire?

Hanging around Tom Riddle gets me a reputation to, given the difference in genders, probably a fairly nasty one at that. When Dumbledore arrives he's undoubtedly told hot gossip about how eleven-year-old Tom and I have had sex in a ritual to summon Satan. Dumbledore takes this seriously.

Dumbledore probably meets us both at the same time and it's a disaster. I tried my best to prep Tom without revealing I'm a prophet, Tom first doesn't believe there might not be others, then doesn't believe they would be antagonist/anything but amazed by how awesome he is.

Well, Dumbledore lights his wardrobe on fire while I sit there. Dying inside. Dumbledore probably also does something to me too, to teach me some kind of lesson about something.

I imagine he temporarily disfigures me/makes me appear very ugly, then sticks a mirror to the wall, that way I realize that looks aren’t everything/being a whore is wrong. Tom, still traumatized over the wardrobe, is no help and my magic’s probably not controlled enough to do a thing about it.

I spend a day looking like a pig, Tom and I are given just enough money to buy new wands and second hand/barely functioning everything else and given the world’s worst directions to Diagon Alley. Thanks, Albus.

Well, months pass, we get our wands, Tom gets excited for Hogwarts and I... start seriously considering the future. WWII is coming, the Blitz is coming, Tom and I live in east London and must be able to evacuate during the bombing of London (which went on well past the Blitz to the end of the war). I also start considering my future in the wizarding world. Do I now actually have career prospects?

Probably not because I’m muggle born and a woman. My best bet is doing very well in useful subjects and finding employment with the goblins, I can’t imagine they have the same hang ups as the wizarding world.

Tom wants to go to Slytherin, of course, I tell him this is a bad idea. “Gee Tom,” I say, “Not sure how I know this but I have this feeling that Slytherin is filled with people who loathe our very existence and will shank us. Why don’t we pick Ravenclaw or Gryffindor instead?”

No one shanks Tom Riddle! Tom says. Tom is still eleven and while he admits that sometimes I may, in retrospect, have been right about certain things that doesn’t mean he wants to go to the house known for hard work. That’s code word for everyone there being a moron and having no other redeeming features than tenacity. As for the other two, Ravenclaws sound like smug, elitist, nerds and Gryffindors like dumb jocks.

Better to be known for ambition, cunning, and actually being competent.

Well, there’s no talking him out of this one, and goddamn it we’re all each other has.

I’m the closest thing Tom Riddle has ever had to a friend in all these years and in the orphanage the only one who could hold a decent conversation with him. And while it’s not my moral obligation to keep Tom from becoming a domestic terrorist, and there’s no guarantee I even can, dumping him for one of the other houses and drifting apart won’t help.

Not to mention that, after all these years, I’m undoubtedly lonely, I’m in this foreign land, and he’s now the closest thing to a friend I have.

Looks like I’m going to Slytherin, YOOOOOLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! I shout as a battle cry as tears run down my face. I may have to convince the hat to put me in Slytherin, but like all human beings I am a mixture of many qualities. I’m not cunning in the least, mind games exhaust me unutterably, but I’m full of ambition.

This confirms every bad opinion Dumbledore had regarding me and Tom.

For the next several months, Tom probably beats the shit out of dormmates who steal his things/harass him. He beats up mine too because feminism (TM) means that he should treat all people equally when guilty of the same crime. I... am not sure I can win that fight so I just resign myself to having to adopt some of Tom’s tactics to make sure I’m not shoved in lockers, have tampons thrown at me, or pig’s blood dumped on me at the prom.

Once again, everyone thinks Tom Riddle and I are dating. I don’t even know if they’re wrong at this point.

Well, being in class with eleven year olds who seem to have had little to no prior education, Tom and I are undoubtedly blazing through class. I imagine I’m bored out of my mind (the Hogwarts curriculum sounds unbelievably boring) and Tom is... well, probably devouring the library but probably also bored. I decide to try and see if I can find some real history texts on this world (there are probably none, the wizarding world seems to only have two historians and both... have a different approach to history than current modern thought as I know it) and discover what magic even is. That shit is fascinating: wingardium leviosa is not.

Dumbledore likely gives neither me nor Tom points in class, I think the house cup is stupid, so I really don’t care. I have no interest in playing quidditch, neither does Tom, so that doesn’t happen.

The second world war starts up, Tom, me, and the muggle borns are the only ones who give a flying fuck. I work harder on figuring out how to get lodging during the Blitz/the bombing of London. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole hates me too for being the Bride of Satan, so that’s a no go. Third year, 1939, I probably write her in earnest anyway telling her to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, send Tom and I instructions for the summer/where the orphans are staying/how they’ve been dispersed to the countryside. As a back up plan, I try desperately to shmooze shopkeepers in Hogsmeade during every Hogsmeade weekend to get myself and Tom part time jobs and lodging over the summer. As a back up back up plan, I spend my time badgering Tom to become very good at survivalist wandless magic and if the Lord has pity on me gain some ability in it myself.

Hopefully, either Mrs. Cole or one of the Hogsmeade shop owners take pity on us. If not, then Tom and I are going extreme camping. Given Mrs. Cole (and the brain damage brought on by Dumbledore erasing memories left and right) and the likelihood of Hogsmeade shop owners just not getting it, Tom and I probably go extreme camping.

(Tom, meanwhile, asks Dippet and Dumbledore if we can stay in Hogwarts over the summer. He’s told no exceptions. London’s being bombed, you say? No exceptions. Toodles. Tom is never the same.)

Me, Tom Riddle, a tent we made ourselves, several rabbits we had to catch and skin ourselves, and the pitiful fire that we can keep going through pure will alone because if we try to use real people spells then we’ll get arrested. It has the benefit of making Tom feel very manly and impressive, catching his own food, but both of us are well aware that this sucks.

But hey, we aren’t dead.

Well, I’m sure Tom doesn’t appreciate that and this is where I imagine he seriously starts talking about violent revolution. I imagine much of my time is spent discussing the merits of not violently overthrowing our ant overlords. I imagine a thirteen-year-old Tom isn’t impressed by my pacifism, but he’s not married to Voldemort yet (probably).

Then I imagine the horcrux thing comes up and... Well, I will argue hard against it. Humans die, it is a truth of the universe, and simply something we have to accept. Horcruxes are not a measure against that, they can be destroyed, given infinite time they will be, and the sacrifice they require is too high: human life as well as the very essence of who you are.

What is a soul? I’m not sure, we never really learn in HP canon, but whatever it is, it is in some way the essence of yourself. If you take half of it and throw it somewhere else, you will cease to be you, someone or something else is walking around in your body while the other half of you exists in endless agony.

If you must chase immortality, create a philosopher’s stone (as I darkly wonder why it was that couldn’t be replicated and what Flamel had to do to make it in the first place). On second thought, maybe we should search for the Holy Grail.

Whether I can talk Tom out of this or not is... unclear. I’m going to say that I can, in part because I imagine he’ll want to show the chamber off to me, tell me when he realizes he’s Heir of Slytherin, and in doing so I can prevent the basilisk incident from occurring. Without that, there’s no dead Myrtle, which means no first victim. That summer, when he goes to the Gaunts, I’ll go with him and convince him that it’s not worth it. He can just turn around and leave these people alone, I hopefully can talk him down. Which means no second victim.

I start writing Flamel to see if Tom or I can get an apprenticeship (Dumbledore probably beats us to the chase and poisons him against us, but it’s worth a shot).

Then, should all go well, I can convince Tom to find employment with the goblins rather than shady antique dealers on the bad side of town. Hopefully, I can convince him to never become Voldemort, and instead we travel the world together looking for the origins of magic or something.

Dumbledore goes around taking people’s memories of us in preparation for when Tom becomes a dark lord and I his lady of the night darkness.

TL;DR Apparently my life would become an SI/Tom Riddle fic. So, thanks anon.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #tom riddle #albus dumbledore #anti albus dumbledore #meta #headcanon #opinion

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scarletwidowaf · 3 years

Text

broadway, baby. (part 1)

Florence pugh x female Reader

Summery: reader is a singing waitress in a new York restaurant (like in glee) where many famous people go to, and one night the little women cast are are there and R is their waitress.

Warnings: there's some cursing and harassment. Its not revolve around it but its there.

A\N: im soft for florence pugh and this is a complete shit.

masterlist

Credits: Glee Gif Credit • Florence Gifs Credit

“I'm just a Broadway Baby, walking off my tired feet, Pounding Forty Second Street to be in a show. Broadway Baby, learning how to sing and dance, waiting for that one big chance to be in a show.” - Cast of follies

Life can be hard and some days can be rough, especially in your line of work where people competed for the spotlight on a daily basis. but that's life and that’s the road you chose to walk through. And it's alright, after all, what's life without a spark? A movie without a breaking point? or a shift at Clayton's without drama?

This was one of these days, the kind of days who kept you on an edge as your body and mind both ached for a break.

'Just roll with it. just a few hours for your day off.' You silently said to yourself.

Being a young artist in New York was a challenge you’ve taken on yourself, luckily for you working at "Clayton's" was a good way to start a career. most people who started working there were young talented artist who were determined to make an impression over the industry. The place was always packed with many famous people, from actors to singers and producers. So, in many ways, working in "Clayton's" could be a ticket to Broadway or the music industry. And that was the reason you moved there in the first place.

You tried the traditional way, but after months of trying to get into college and fix your past mistakes, like your high school career, you decided that this path wasn’t for you. no matter what you did or how hard you tried your ADHD still managed to kick your ass. So, that’s how you ended up as a singing waitress in NY. You liked your job, truly. You liked singing and dancing and meeting cool people along the way, but sometimes it was just too much.

"You look like shit" Aaron said from his spot at the bar.

Aaron was a sweet guy and probably the only straight person in your group of friends. He was charming and talented and most importantly; he was the first friend you got in NY.

Aaron pulled his long brown hair into a bun as he chuckled at you. You huffed in frustration in return.

"Thanks" you muttered as he passes you a mug with coffee, hoping to help you get a grip before the restaurant opens.

"You need to rest" he said. "properly"

"that’s overrated" you joked and took a sip.

You felt an hand on your shoulder and you turned around to meet your friend's stern gaze. "You, okay?" she asked

"Always" you answered Mackenzie's question and she raised her eyebrow, knowing full well you were lying.

"we should sing as a warm up!" David, another one of your coworkers and Aaron's twin brother said.

"Let's not" Aaron said as he rolled his eyes at his brother's enthusiasm.

You laughed quietly as the two started bickering. Mack and you glanced at each other knowingly. Both of you already know who will win in the stupid argument.

15 minutes later, after a group warm up and Aaron's dramatic sighs 'Clayton's' was open for business.

It was a nice evening, not too full, not too loud. And most importantly, not too many known faces.

Of course, you liked to have famous people on your shifts, and it could obviously be a game changer for you but it can get intense at times and you want in the mood. Seriously, how can you be the only one who found singing "defying gravity' in font of Idina Menzel as a very stressful experience?? You were terrified by the idea you'll fuck up in front of the original singer- and make a total fool out of yourself.

When 10 pm rolled around, every opinion you had about the evening flew out the window. at this point, the restaurant was full with costumers and some known faces as well, and you found yourself holding every inch of you together as you approach the table who was occupied by the one and only Meryl Streep, and some fellow little women cast members.

*rule number 1 of working at Clayton's: don't make costumers feel uncomfortable. Don't annoy the costumers, don't ask for autographs if they're famous and generally treat them as normal and respectfully as you can. *

"Hello, my name is Y/N and ill be your waitress for tonight" you introduced yourself with a small smile. The women smiled at you brightly.

"How does it work" Meryl held the tablet with a puzzled expression. "Am I that old?" She joked

"Barley" One of the other women, Emma fucking Watson, said.

"I know it looks complicated-" you told them as you took the tablet from Meryl's hand."-But it's pretty simple, actually, I promise. As you can see the top part of the tablet is divided into two sections: The right one who says 'ask for a waiter'- which means that your waiter- which in this case, me, is busy- probably performing at the moment, and you can ask for a different waiter." You said with an ease, knowing the explanation by heart.

"The left section says 'ask for my waiter' which is a pretty simple one to understand... I guess- if you'll need me for whatever reason, you can press it and it'll page me. Feel free to use it." You said with a smile as you scanned their faces, making sure they understand the first part.

"And the bottom section?" Saoirse asked.

"The bottom section is the 'refill' sections. It will get into validation only after ill place your order in my own tablet and send to the kitchen." You explained as you gestured to your own tablet. "It's pretty useful, the point of it is that you can ask for a refill without having to social with me. Its awesome"

You noticed one of them, Florence pugh, scanning the tablet with a small smile- as she listened to your explanation. She was absolutely a sight for sore eyes, that's for sure.

"Thats pretty cool" she said and you nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I got really excited over it when I started working here" you admitted awkwardly "most importantly- When a section isn't relevant its will be grey instead of in color so you won't get confused. Like, for example - if You haven't ordered anything yet you can't get a refill, for the obvious reason. or if I'm not performing you can't ask for another waiter... which means you're stuck with me for the time being" you finished with a small chuckle.

"I don't think any of us mind that" Florence smiled and the others agreed. The blonde smiled at you again and you blushed slightly. "You're singing, right?" she asked out of the blue, just when you were about to leave and let them look through their menus.

"Yeah, i do. In a few minutes, actually"

"Thats cool! Good luck" she smiled and you wondered if Emma, who set the closest to you, could hear how fast your heart's beating.

"Thank you" you said with a smile and turned around to the stage.

__________________

"you paged? I'm guessing you guys ready to order then" You said as you approached their table after your performance.

"YOU WERE SO GODD!" Florence said excitedly.

"Thank you" you blushed slightly.

What. The. Fuck. Y/N?! You scolded yourself.

The others joined into the conversation with their own compliments and you thought you'd die when Meryl Streep, the legend herself, complimented you.

After another few moments the conversation calmed downed and moved to the next, and most important topic: the food. You tried your best to not blush under Florence's soft gaze and keep your focus on the other members of her table as they consulted you about the dishes, but damn, that was hard. luckily for you it didn’t take long and a few minutes later, their order was sent to the kitchen.

The next hour and a half weren't much different. you sang and placed orders, you smiled to costumers and even pretend to laugh at some old man's joke. And maybe (just maybe) you glanced over to Florence every now and then.

The thing about Clayton's is that apart for the famous people who visit there frequently, it also contains many of the rich and the snobs of New York, so you weren't surprised when you got paged from a table who was occupied by two guys with fancy clothes and their parents credit card.

"Hey" one of them said to you as you approached them.

"hey, welcome to Clayton's! You're David's table, right?" You said and pointed at your friend who started his own performance.

"Yeah, the fag one" the other guy said and your smile fell.

Take a deep breath, Y/N. It's not worth it.

"I see you guys already ordered a few minutes ago" you said as you checked your tablet.

"Yeah" the asshole confirmed.

"Okay, in that case, how can I help you?" You asked politely as you could.

"we would like to get the check." The first guy said politely as he pulled out a few bills from his wallet. "Keep the change" he said as you took it and made sure it was enough.

"Thank you" you smiled politely and made a mental note to give David his well-earned tip.

"my brother want to know if you're single" the asshole said and the nicer guy looked at his with his eyes wide.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, I'm in a relationship" you lied after a moment, hoping the lie will spare both his feeling and any more questions in the subject.

The guy nodded in understanding but on the other hand, the other guy didn’t seem to get the massage.

"I'm sure he won't mind sharing" the asshole said and you felt sorry for the poor guy for being related to this ass.

"What the fuck Chad" the nice guy said as chad smirked at you.

"yeah... that’s not going to happen." You glared at him "have a great weekend tho" you gritted out and turned around to leave.

you were taken by surprise when you felt chad's hand on your ass. Again, what the fuck?!

"What the fuck is wrong with you' asshole" you gritted out and moved away from him.

Don't make a scene. He's not worth it.

"C'mon-" he started to say as he got up. You moved away, knowing you were cornered since the place was full, the lights were deemed and the music was loud.

"Don't touch me" you said and moved away; you're back hitting an empty table who stood nearly.

"Hey what's going on here?" You heard and turned to catch Florence walking to you.

If a look could kill chad would’ve been dead. that’s for sure. It's like the sweet and excited Florence had left and a different, intimidating (and hot) version of her took her space and so help you god, you were glad she was on your side.

"Nothing! we were just leaving, really" Frankie said.

"None of your business" brad said and Florence raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow, daring him to cross her.

"I see" she said "well, I'm sure y/n won't mind my intruding"

'Thank god for Florence Pugh.' You thought.

Before chad could press the subject any further David, who just finished his performance, got there. You were sure he noticed that something was happening.

"what's going on here?" he asked after he scanned the situation quickly.

"nothing as I said to your friend, we were just leaving" Frankie said again.

he didn’t want to draw any negative attention, just like you, and thankfully for the both of you, not many people noticed the situation.

This time chad didn't answer, he just glared at Florence and you while his brother pulled him away from the place.

"so, are you going to tell me what happened?" David asked Florence and you after the two left.

Florence looked at you, waiting for you to answer him.

"Nothing" you lied. "it's okay David, you can go" you promised your friend. David looked at you with his 'I done believe you' expression, but he didn't press it any further. He just nodded before he turned around and left.

Rule number 2: do not make a scene under no circumstances. At Clayton's, everything you do while you're on the clock is practically showcased. You slip? you fall? you sing out of tune? Its under a spotlight, everyone can see that and everyone will have something to say about it. Thats the thing about this place. most people who started there and moved on to bigger things as Broadway or Hollywood were practically trained to keep their best poker face, act on the demand or pretend that everything is okay when it was clearly not.

"You should go back to your table" you said to Florence

she looked at you with an unreadable expression before she went back to her table. You didn't have much time to read into it since a few minutes later you found yourself at her table, printing their check and having a small friendly conversation with the women. You smiled at them as they left before you turned your tablet off and went to cover for Aaron at the bar.

"I thought you guys left" You said with a smile when the blonde approached you a few minutes later.

"Why did you lie?" Florence asked with the same unreadable expression from earlier.

Okay. No smiling then.

"I didn’t" you pulled out two shot glasses and filled them with tequila. The blonde gave you a 'are you kidding me' kind of look and you couldn't help but to chuckle. "I didn't see a reason to make a scene over nothing" you explained and downed one of the shots.

"It wasn't nothing Y/N" she said before taking the other glass.

"its fine. I'm fine. He didn’t do anything " you said as she downed her shot.

"Yeah, because I was there" she argued.

"I can handle guys like him. Seriously, at this point it might as well be a part of my job"

"you're not helping yourself"

"I liked you better smiling" you chuckled as she glared at you.

"I'm sure you did"

"shut up"

"How's your back?" She asked/

The blonde definitely didn't seem convinced about the chad situation but you were just grateful for the change of subject.

"It will be alright"

"Good"

"I appreciate your worry, truly. But I'm fine and I really don't want to hold you back here over it" you said

"Who said I was worried" she smirked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, you don't?" You played along

"Nope"

"Then why are you still here? Its almost 12 am, don't you have something better to do" you teased her

"no. Do you?" She turned the question and you laughed.

"I guess not - considering the fact I work here and I'm still on clock"

"Oh, please we both know this place is about to close" she argued your logic

"True" you admitted

"So, if you have nothing better to do, and you don't, would you like to go out with me? You kinda owe me after I saved your ass earlier"

"Uh, and here I thought you did that as an act of kindness" you joked. A small smile playing on your lips.

"Ew no" she said and You laughed. "Well?" Florence pressed with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, why not. It's not like I have something better to do"

"Just what I wanted to hear" she joked.

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #florence pigh x female reader #florence pugh x fem!reader

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morganaspendragonss · 3 years

Text

when the dust settles

Tommy grins, arching an eyebrow as she looks back at TK. "Shall we go rescue your man from my girls then?"

TK has to prepare himself before entering the house, but his resolve to stay calm and composed immediately crumbles as he sees what's waiting for him—Carlos, meticulously stacking Jenga pieces back in the box while the girls colour quietly at the kitchen table.

ao3 | 1.5k | 2.14

It’s late by the time they finish their impromptu shift, all piling into Nancy’s car after returning the rig to the garage. A tense silence falls over them as they head back to Tommy’s place, both TK and Nancy still reeling from the bombshell she dropped on them this morning. The sense of finality that comes with leaving the ambulance behind is almost too much to bear.

It’s Nancy who breaks it eventually as they pull to a stop outside the Vega household. “Well,” she says, turning to look at Tommy, “if this was our last ride all together, then… Thank you, for being such an amazing captain. There’s no-one I’d rather go through volcanoes, kidnappings, and dust storms with.”

“Agreed,” TK chimes in from the back seat. He doesn’t have as close a connection with Tommy as Nancy does, but the thought of her leaving still sends a sharp pain through his chest. She’d been the first captain he’s truly felt free and comfortable under, and he can’t picture the job without her steady leadership guiding them through. “And, thank you for giving me a chance, Cap. You, uh, these months with EMS have been the best of my career, and I know most of that is down to you. So, um… Yeah.”

He trails off awkwardly, flushing slightly as he stares down at his hands. There’s an awful pressure behind his eyes, a sure sign he’s about to cry again, but he tries — unsuccessfully — to force the tears back.

“I think we’ve all cried enough for one day, huh, Strand?” Tommy asks, but there’s a smile in her suspiciously thick voice. TK looks up at her, met with a warm gaze and, yep, the undeniable shine in both her and Nancy’s eyes.

She breathes out shakily, then reaches a hand back to TK, the other going across Nancy. “I’m not sure I deserve such high praise, but thank you both. I meant what I said earlier; it has truly been a gift to work alongside two incredibly talented paramedics, and I could not have asked for a better reintroduction to the job.”

Nancy arches a brow, looking at her in disbelief.

Tommy laughs. “Maybe I could have gone without being kidnapped and having my firehouse blow up.”

“For starters,” Nancy mutters.

“Point is, I’m grateful. And… I think that maybe I was a little too hasty in my decision earlier.”

TK straightens in his seat, sharing a hopeful glance with Nancy. “You mean you’re coming back?”

“I’m not sure my girls would have it any other way,” Tommy admits wryly. Her smile turns a little sad, and she casts her eyes skyward, squeezing their hands tightly. “Then I think about what Charles would say,” she continues softly. “He would tell me to do what I want to do, not what I think I should do, and that’s my job. Don’t get me wrong, the girls will always come first, and I still need to do a lot of thinking to make sure it’s actually doable. But, hopefully, when the 126 reopens, I will be back in that ambulance with you two.”

Nancy doesn’t waste a second in launching herself forward to hug Tommy. TK grins at them, his eyes more than a little wet, and he feels a weight lifting from his chest.

“That’s awesome, Cap,” he says, squeezing her hand once more before letting go to surreptitiously wipe at his face.

“I can’t believe you almost left me alone with him,” Nancy adds, pulling back from Tommy and jerking her thumb towards TK. He makes a token protest, as is his role in this relationship, but the ribbing is worth it to see Tommy smile and roll her eyes at them, like she’s done so many times before.

“Alright, kids.” She opens the car door and climbs out, leaning back in to raise an eyebrow at TK. “Shall we go rescue your man from my girls?”

TK laughs and gets out too, hearing Nancy do the same. He has to take a moment to prepare himself before Tommy lets them in; seeing Carlos with the girls earlier had put all sorts of thoughts in his head—thoughts he should not be having after only a year of dating. Not that he wants to have those thoughts about anyone else, but still.

Slow and steady; that’s what they agreed. So TK takes a deep breath, tells himself to keep his head, no matter what’s waiting inside, and follows Nancy into the house.

His resolve crumbles immediately, his heart doing a funny little flip at the sight of Carlos meticulously stacking Jenga pieces back in the box while the girls colour quietly at the kitchen table. TK doesn’t know why it’s this, of all things, that’s making him so giddy, but there’s something about Carlos taking such care over something so small, whereas TK himself would have just thrown the pieces in the box until the lid had to be forced on.

It takes a second for his brain to reboot, and by that time, Carlos has abandoned his task. He smiles at them as Tommy hugs her girls, and TK goes over to greet him, wrapping an arm around his waist and pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

He leans his head down on Carlos’s shoulder, letting some of the exhaustion finally catch up with him. “Have fun?” he mumbles.

Carlos covers the hand TK has on his waist with his own. “Not as much as you, I’m sure.”

“Nine-year olds versus a dust storm?” TK hums as if in thought and wiggles his hand in the air. “Tough choice.”

Carlos laughs, gently knocking their heads together before pulling away from TK as Tommy returns from putting the girls to bed. He doesn’t let Tommy get a word out before he approaches her, an adorably worried look on his face. “I know you said they usually go to sleep much earlier than this,” he says, apologetic, “but they wanted to stay up and wait for you, and I figured they’d do that anyway so I said it was alright. I’m sorry if it wasn’t, I shouldn’t have assumed —”

“Carlos!” Tommy holds up a hand, very obviously fighting back laughter. “It’s okay, really. That was absolutely the right call; I’d probably have woken them up anyway. I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to look after them so last minute.”

He shakes his head, waving her off. “It was nothing.”

“It was everything,” she corrects. “I hope they didn’t torture you too much?”

“They were no trouble at all, I assure you.”

“Well.” Tommy sends him another grateful look, then glances round at all three of them. “Thank you, again. All of you. Now, go home and get some rest — you guys deserve it.”

TK steps forward to hug Tommy, then moves back to Carlos’s side. “Night, Cap,” he says, lifting a hand in one last wave goodbye, before he and Carlos step outside together.

They linger on the curb, waiting for Nancy, who stayed back to talk to Tommy some more. TK hooks his pinky around Carlos’s, leaning on him again. “You were really good with them,” he says quietly, keeping his voice carefully devoid of implication.

Carlos shrugs. “I’ve got five nieces and nephews, and my sisters have taken full advantage of my childless status to turn me into the family babysitter. Trust me, once you’ve had a toddler screaming in your ear for four hours straight, you can handle anything. Besides, apart from repeatedly kicking my ass at Jenga, Izzy and Evie really were totally fine.”

TK snorts. “Yeah, you’d think a cop would have steadier hands than that.”

He grins up at Carlos, receiving a pinch in the side for the comment, which only makes him laugh more.

“They cheated!”

“You can’t cheat at Jenga, Carlos.”

“For once, he has a point,” Nancy says, making them both jump as she appears from, seemingly, nowhere. She levels a finger at the two of them, eyes narrowed. “Technically, I am obligated to drive you home, but if either of you start with the lovey-dovey shit, I will not hesitate to abandon you on the side of the road.”

“Then I will not hesitate to turn you in to Cap,” TK counters, but Nancy just rolls her eyes and gets in the car.

“Please. She’d be on my side and you know it,” she says, which—point. “You coming or not?”

TK grumbles but gets in, immediately retaking Carlos’s hand when they’re both settled. They share a soft smile, making Nancy groan, but she doesn’t make good on her threat, which is a win. This entire day has felt like a win, minus the rocky start, and TK can’t help but feel like things are finally falling into place.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s getting closer with every second.

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gaemkyuu · 3 years

Text

Loved.

Warnings: Mentions of an abusive boyfriend (Not Charlie) A/N: This is a personal piece of something I went through. Not all the details disclosed on this piece happened to me, but they have happened to people I love. Something we connected on was that one person came into our lives and became the light that we needed to get out of our situation. Charlie isn’t meant to portray the image of a false hero, but rather a light and a starting point. A second chapter will be made.

If you or someone you love is suffering from abuse, you are not alone. We hear you, we love you and we can help you. Reach out of the dark. Step into your greatness. Stand Tall.

Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece! In no way do I claim characters in this piece act this way in real life.

Masterlist *now taking requests ;)

Loved.

Kaia paused to take a sip of water. Carrying around boxes and furniture was proving to be difficult with the hot LA sun. She was used to super sunny days with a cool breeze or rainy cloudy days up in Vancouver. Moving countries hadn’t been easy, what with the paperwork and everything, but here she was. Starting a life in LA, the city where people come to make their dreams happen.

“How you doin’?” the girl jump at the sound of a male voice and turned to see a very good looking guy leaning on her fence. His beautiful eyes and contagious smile caused her to smile back at him. He seemed genuine and something deep inside told her he was good.

“I’m hoping you’re the person that lives beside me, otherwise I may have to call the cops” the male chuckled at her response and shook his head.

“Welcome to the neighbourhood. Me and my roommates live right beside you. Are you new to LA?” Kaia knew she shouldn’t get caught chatting away with the male, but she didn’t want him to get the wrong impression. She knew that bad neighbours could make your life a living hell, plus being new to the country meant that she had no friends. Might as well start somewhere right?

“New to the country actually, I’m from Vancouver” Judging by the way his eyes grew to the size of saucers, she assumed that he might be a fellow Canadian too. It would be nice to have someone who understands the culture shock as a friend. “Parles-tu francais?” she sheepishly asked.

“Oui! J’suis de Dieppe!” Kaia let out a big laugh. She very rarely heard that dialect of french and it felt funny to her ears. She blushed when she realized how hard she was laughing.

“Sorry! I wasn’t laughing at you or anything. I’ve rarely heard an Acadien speak french and it sounds a little funny to me” she scratched her neck in slight embarrassment. The male seemed to bite his lip and she couldn’t help but notice the twinkle in his eyes, confirming that he wasn’t offended. “So what brought you here?”

“I’m an actor. What about you?”

“I moved down here with my boyfriend, he’s actually a local” she saw a small look of disappointment cross his unusually bright features, but as quickly as it came, it was gone. She could hear her boyfriend’s voice growing louder as he approached the entrance of the house. “Do you live by yourself? Or?”

“I live with my roommates, all of whom are girls with boyfriends” she giggled at his predicament but found it interesting.

“Too much estrogen I take it?” he rolled his eyes in confirmation and she laughed again at his reaction.

“Like you wouldn’t believe. But they’re pretty awesome, so I can’t complain” he opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted at a booming voice. She continued to chat with the man about the neighbourhood and life in LA in general. It felt nice to Kaia that someone was also weirded out by all the fake grass lawns and garbage on the streets. The conversation was flowing naturally and she was very engaged that she didn’t notice another person in the house growing impatient.

“Kaia!” She quickly turned around to her boyfriend, who was motioning her over. He looked irritated and upset, something she wasn’t looking forward to dealing with. She opened her mouth to explain herself as her new neighbour waved, but he interrupted her. “Let’s go!”

“Sorry, the heat’s making him a little grumpy. Thank you for welcoming us to the neighbourhood. It was really nice chatting with you” she smiled as her boyfriend marched back into the house. “I’m Kaia by the way, but you can call me Kai”

“Charlie. Charlie Gillespie. It was nice to meet you Kai, pass the welcome on to your boyfriend from us. See you around?” she smiled softly and waved goodbye as he made his way over to the front door. When he was out of sight, she took a deep breath preparing herself for the inevitable conversation with her boyfriend.

Who’s that? You’ve been flirting for half an hour. I wasn’t flirting. He’s our neighbour. Don’t lie to me, Kaia. I’m not. Listen, I moved you down here to be with me. Last time I checked, I moved down to start my career. Don’t. Sass. Me. Kaia. I’m sorry. Remember. You’re here because I let you. Don’t forget that.

The next time Kaia saw Charlie was a few weeks later. Her boyfriend and her had a big argument, so she was de-stressing the only way she knew how, making music. She was sure that at some point, someone in the neighbourhood would make a noise complaint, but right now, she could care less. She filled track after tracking, replaying what she had already made and what she had added. Kaia often poured her soul into her music, something she felt was therapeutic.

It had always been Kaia’s dream to move down to LA and pursue a music career. So when she finished her music program in Vancouver, she began working full time around the city doing odd jobs and mixing jobs wherever she could. She had saved up enough money to make the move, when she had met her boyfriend. He was playing a live set at a bar she was bartending for and the two hit it off right away. Soon, the two began to collaborate with music and Kaia found herself producing and mixing his demos.

Sure, their relationship was a little bit of a rollercoaster, but in Kaia’s mind, that wasn’t strange. She had seen her parents experience similar things with one another. He struggled to pay rent along with his tuition fees for his music program, but Kaia didn’t mind paying for it. Being an American citizen in Canada made it difficult at times to find employment and at the beginning he was super grateful. That’s how they fell into a rhythm on Kaia working to support the both of them while doing what she loved.

When her boyfriend’s Visa expired, she knew this was her chance to move down to LA. Her parents weren’t thrilled with the two of them moving in together, but they had already been a couple for 2 years. In Kaia’s mind, it was the next step in their relationship. She also assured her parents that if anything happened, that she had enough money saved up to support herself on her own for a few months.

“Sick beats!” she jumped at the voice, turning around to see Charlie fist bumping into her garage. Immediately, she turned down the music and smiled. “I didn’t know you were into music too! This is really good!”

“Think so? I haven’t made anything from scratch in a long time” Kaia blushed when Charlie’s jaw dropped at her confession. “I’m actually struggling with this track if I’m being honest”

“May I?” she moved over letting Charlie take control and play around with things. The two then began a very in depth conversation about music and finding the sound of the track she was working on. However, Kaia came to learn that as passionate Charlie was about music, he was also very goofy. The two playfully argued as to whether Charlie was correct about incorporating a xylophone or bongos into the track. He was a self proclaimed EDM expert and enthusiast, which caused Kaia to question his instrument choices. They sat there for who knows how long, eventually trading rhythms on different instruments, Kaia on the piano and Charlie on the guitar. “You’re really good at this Kai”

“I normally produce music that my boyfriend writes” she scratch her neck in embarrassment. “The move had us so busy that I’m a little rusty”

“What? If this is what you’re “rusty” is, then I’m excited to see your polished work!” Kaia smiled and stood there awkwardly, not fully knowing how to accept his compliment. “Kai, you should really give your music a chance”

“I’ll think about it” she smiled. “Say, was there a reason why you bursted into my garage?” It was now Charlie’s turn to blush and Kaia giggled in return.

“Oh yeah, I was going to invite you and your boyfriend for a barbeque tomorrow evening. Think you’d like to come?” he wiggled his eyebrows making Kaia laugh.

“We’ve got plans. Thanks” both were startled at the introduction of a new voice. Kaia’s boyfriend stood at the garage door entrance, arms crossed and unimpressed.

“Ty, this is Charlie, our neighbour. Charlie, this is Tyler, my boyfriend” Kaia quickly made her way to her boyfriend, explaining the situation.

“Nice to meet you man” Charlie smiled and extended his hand, but Tyler just looked at it until Charlie took it back. He muttered a soft ‘okay then’ and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I just wanted to invite you and Kai over for dinner tomorrow night. My roommates would love to meet you guys”

“It’s Kaia, and thanks but no thanks. Like I said, we have plans” Kaia stood silently beside her boyfriend, fidgeting with her sleeve. She held one arm across her body and was squeezing her other arm, but cleared her throat to break the tension.

“Thanks for the visit. I’ll see you around Charlie” this time Kaia’s smile was a genuine one, but by the look on Charlie’s face, she knew he was growing suspicious. She was grateful that he didn’t push the topic, but she knew that his hesitation wouldn’t go unnoticed by her boyfriend.

What is it with you and this guy? We were just collaborating on mixing. You mix for me Kaia. Don’t let someone take advantage of you. He wasn’t taking advantage of me. He was helping me. Helping? It sounds like shit. You better get your head in the game for my next EP. ... Babe, you know I only want you to be the best right? I know. I love you. ... I love you too.

If another person screamed at her today, Kaia was sure that she would lose it. She felt exhausted and overworked. Living in LA was proving to be pricey and she was the only one who was able to find work between the two of them. Between working two jobs and producing late into the evenings, Kaia felt like she was reaching her limit.

“Good evening! Can I start you guys with something to drink?” Kaia fished for her notepad and pen in her apron, fiddling around for a moment.

“Kai?” she recognized the voice immediately and finally found her things. Charlie sat at the table she was waiting along with two other people.

“I’m beginning to think you’re stalking me Charlie” she joked, smoothing out her hair and uniform. She suddenly felt more aware and conscious of her appearance.

“Sounds like Charlie” the female interrupted, earning a shove from the male. The blonde across from Charlie stifled a chuckle at the interaction. “I’m Hannah, I live with Charlie”

“And this is Owen” he introduced and Kaia gave a kind smile back. “I didn’t know you worked here! I thought you worked at the Starbucks?” she noticed Owen and Hannah give each other a look about Charlie’s observation.

“Yeah, I work at Starbucks in the morning and here in the evenings” she blew a strand of hair out of her face. “Not all of us make a living off of Netflix contracts” she winked. “What can I get you guys?”

The playful banter continued on through the night and Kaia continued to wait their table, along with the many other tables she had. Kaia got to know Owen and Hannah pretty well that night and genuinely enjoyed their company. Since moving to LA, she had been working so much that she hadn’t even made friends in the three months she had been there. So naturally, after her shift, she sat down with their table and got them free dessert just to hang out. They were having such a good time that she lost track time.

“Hey Kaia! Your boyfriend’s calling” Kaia paled at the closing manager’s announcement and she politely excused herself from the table, telling the manager she’d take the call in the office. As Kaia sat in the office, quiet tears streamed down her face as her boyfriend chastised her over the phone. Her closing manager comforted her quietly, knowing the intricacies of her situation. Once Kaia was sure she was composed, she returned to her table of friends, surprised that they still waited around for her.

“Thanks for the company tonight! I’ll see you guys around?” The looks they gave each other didn’t go unnoticed by Kaia. However, they didn’t say anything and bid her farewell.

“Hey Kaia?” she paused and turned around, a soft smile on her face, and Charlie standing at the edge of his table. “You know you can talk to me right?” Kaia bit her lip, hesitant for her next move. She took a deep breath, trying to suppress the tears that were surfacing.

“I’m just tired is all” but a tear slipped down her face, which she quickly wiped away. Charlie pulled her in for a hug and Kaia melted into it. She couldn’t remember feeling this warmth for a long time and quite frankly, she felt at peace. The flickering of the car lights in the parking lot pulled her attention from the comfort of Charlie’s arms. “I have to go” she whispered and left, not bearing to look at Charlie and the rest.

I don’t like him. Don’t hang around him anymore. He’s my only friend here. Then make a new one. How? Between working two jobs and mixing your music, I have no time. Don’t pin this on me. Stop whining and figure it out. ... I’m just protecting you. He’ll take advantage of you. ... Now who’s my girl? I am. And who’s everything that you’ll ever need. ... Kaia. You are. Don’t forget that.

“That’ll be $4.95”

“I’ll pay. Could you add on a donut too? Thanks”

The next time Kaia saw Charlie was a few weeks after the diner incident. Kaia didn’t actually see Charlie, but rather Charlie saw Kaia and couldn’t pass up the chance to talk to her. Judging by his outfit, she assumed that he was on his usual morning run. She felt nervous about him appearing from nowhere and offering to buy her coffee, especially since the last time they talked it was awkward.

“You didn’t have to do that Charlie.” she smiled and thanked him with her eyes. She fiddled with her zip up collar and hair.

“It’s nothing. Wanna grab a table? Maybe in a more secluded and private area?” she nodded thinking that his specificity in seating had to do with the recent release of a Netflix show he starred on that was gaining popularity. So she settled for a table tucked away in the corner of the shop. Charlie followed along soon after with her coffee and his donut.

“Thanks again. How was your run?” Charlie shrugged as he took a bite of his donut.

“Same as always, except this time I get to see you” Kaia blushed at his beautiful smile. He was good looking and from their exchanges, she had gotten to know he was genuinely a good guy. “You like to hike?”

She couldn’t understand what it was, but Charlie had a way of making her feel comfortable and safe. As they chatted about the many hiking places and how often Charlie went, Kaia could see the excitement in his eyes. Their conversation naturally divulged into hobbies and things they had been up to. The two laughed and chatted, both of them wishing that they could stay in each other’s company. It was exactly what she needed.

“I haven’t been hearing you mix lately. The neighbourhood sounds quiet”

“Nothing I’ve come up with sounds good” she stated sheepishly, flushed at the fact that Charlie had noticed.

“Oh come on, I’m sure you’re being hard on yourself. You’re extremely talented, and I’m not saying that just to be nice or anything!” Charlie leaned in as he said this, and Kaia could tell that he truly meant what he was saying.

“No, it’s always garbage when I try to mix on my own” Charlie frowned at this much to Kaia’s dismay, and he sat back in his seat, looking slightly annoyed. Kaia felt her pulse quicken, feeling like she had disappointed him in some way.

“Is that what he tells you?” Kaia was about to drink her coffee, but that comment caught her off guard. She tensed, knowing where this conversation could go and where she didn’t want it to go. “I’m sorry, I just...”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to say anything” she assured him, setting her cup down and a small awkward silence filling the empty space. “I get that you care Charlie, but everything’s fine”.

“You don’t have to lie to me Kai” she avoided his gaze knowing that he would see right through her when she melted under his stare. “Look, I know it’s none of my business, but if what I think is happening, is happening, then you need to leave” she bit her lip again, stopping herself from confessing the truth to Charlie.

“Nothing’s happening Charlie. We’ve just been going through a rough patch. I’m fine, really” she hoped to god that she sounded convincing enough for Charlie to drop the topic. Nervous for his response, she glanced down at her phone and noticed the 15 missed calls. To add, they had been sitting in that coffee shop chatting for 2 hours. Kaia always came to Tyler’s defence, as Charlie wasn’t the first one to voice his concerns. Tyler was sweet and loving, but he often got jealous or irritated. However, it was always emphasized that Kaia crossed the lines that triggered Tyler and that he never acted irrationally.

“Thanks for the chat Charlie.” She smiled at him, taking the last sip of the liquid in her cup. “It was nice getting to know you more”. She could see Charlie hesitate, knowing he didn’t want the conversation to end. She secretly wanted the same thing as his, but she felt guilty for feeling this way.

In their various exchanges and in their conversation today, Kaia felt more and more attracted to Charlie. He was so kind and always interested in the person he was talking to. He empathized and expressed compassion in a way that Kaia had never experienced before. If she wasn’t with Tyler, she could see herself with Charlie and that made her feel horrible. She tried over and over again to convince herself that Charlie was nothing but a friend, when really she wanted more. Tyler loved her and only wanted the best for her, yet here she was wishing Charlie was in Tyler’s place instead.

“You don’t have to be with someone that makes you feel the way you do” Charlie held Kaia’s hand across the table. “I know you might feel like you’re trapped, but you don’t have to be. You have a way out” Kaia quickly wiped away the tear that escaped her eyes, but Charlie wiped away the second one. The two sat in silence as Kaia quietly let a few more tears escape, but it was only a matter of time that Kaia would find herself in Charlie’s arms crying steadily, but still silently, until there was nothing left. When Kaia was sure she was done, Charlie pulled away to give her an encouraging smile and squeezed her arm.

That’s when Kaia kissed him.

In her mind, it all happened so fast. One moment, she was trying to protect Tyler, the next moment she was wishing Tyler was Charlie. That’s what led her to kiss him and Charlie to kiss her back. The two pulled apart, speechless and slightly out of breath, but Kaia didn’t stay long enough to get a response. She quickly grabbed her things and left Charlie to rush out after her. She kept walking despite his calls after her.

That kiss confirmed what Kaia had been trying to deny for a long time now. It confirmed that she didn’t want to be with Tyler anymore. It confirmed that she hadn’t wanted to be with him for a long time. She hasn’t loved him for a long time and it took someone else to help her realize there was love outside of Tyler. However, leaving Tyler wouldn’t be so easy. She tried many times, but there was always a reason as to why she never left. Unfortunately, that reason as of late had been fear.

“Kai! Kaia! Would you just stop for a second?!” Charlie chased after her, ignoring the various stares that were casted their way. A car pulled up beside her on the street and she paused to get in. Kaia looked back at him regretfully, tears falling from her eyes again, before opening the door and being pulled in. Charlie was left on the side of the street, left wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into.

You’re so stupid, why can’t you think? I’m sorry. Yeah, well sorry isn’t good enough! What did I tell you about him?! I’m sorry. Is that all you can say?! Tyler, stop, you’re hurting me. I’m hurting you?! What about what you’re doing to me?! You’re so selfish Kaia. ... This is what I get for everything that I’ve given you?! ...I’m sorry. Just shut up.

Kaia quit her jobs the next day at Tyler’s request. His reasoning was that Kaia couldn’t be trusted outside of the house, so it would be better for her to pick up some work from home jobs. It didn’t help that he had found a printed bank statement with information about how much Kaia had in her savings, something he didn’t hesitate to use against her.

If she was being honest, she felt absolutely awful and was quietly thankful that she was able to quit her jobs. It meant that she didn’t have to leave home, something that she was hoping for more and more. Kaia was riddled with guilt that deep down, she saw Charlie as more than a friend and that she kissed him, despite being in a relationship with Tyler. She reasoned that she was being unfaithful to Tyler, especially after everything he did for her back in Vancouver. Sure, she handled the financials, but Tyler showed her a whole new world that she never dreamed of getting access to. He introduced her to Canadian producers and artists, got her more involved in the music scene and he loved her. Tyler was her first everything! First kiss, first boyfriend, first time... He loved her. She was sure of it.

Or was she?

“She’ll have a water and a margherita pizza and I’ll have the tuscan with a coke” Kaia felt him squeeze her arm and she did her best not to flinch. He had insisted that he sat beside her whenever they dined out so that he could be closer to her, but his rough advances were uncomfortable, especially with the bruises. She sat there in silence staring off to space as they sat on the outdoor patio.

He had been lashing out more lately and sometimes Kaia got in the way. He didn’t target her for his aggression, it was rather that she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. She didn’t dare tell a single soul. Not her friends back home, not her family, no one. That would prompt them to check on her more and more, something that she really didn’t want. She wanted to be left alone. Tyler had grown obsessive of knowing what she was doing at every moment. He held her phone from her and everywhere he went, she came along too. She was rarely left home alone. Had Tyler become toxic? Yes.

Had he been toxic for a while? Well...

In truth, Kaia wanted to break things off a few months into their dating, but he’d always find a way to convince her otherwise. At some point, Kaia stopped questioning his off behaviour or quips and accepted it as that was who he was. She convinced herself that at his core the Tyler she fell for was still there and that right now he had all the reasons to be the way he was. Life as a musician was stressful, especially when you hadn’t made it into the industry.

Kaia was pulled out of her thoughts as the waitress placed their orders down in front of them. Immediately, Tyler began portioning out her serving on her plate as she quietly sipped on her water.

“Can you look any more miserable Kaia? Jesus” he scoffed, shoving her serving in front of her. “If you’re going to be this miserable out and about, I might as well leave you at home” she ate her slice in silence, not entertaining his comments, knowing that whatever she said would be used against her anyways. His phone began vibrating and he sighed, seemingly conflicted. “I gotta take this inside because it’s too loud out here. Don’t leave until I come back” Kaia nodded softly continuing to chew on her slice, as he stepped away from the table, out of sight. Her heart began to race when she noticed he left her phone behind.

This is it. This is your chance out Kaia. Don’t think. Just do it.

She snatched the phone and quickly pin dropped her location with the word ‘HELP’, to the one person she knew she could count on. Quickly, she deleted the text and put her phone back, not wanting to be caught near it. She prayed that he would see her text and she prayed that he would be able to help her. As she watched her boyfriend return to the table, she felt her stomach knot and the pizza she consumed rise in her throat.

“Eat your food or people are going to think I’m making you starve or some shit” he scoffed sitting down beside her and continuing to eat. He didn’t notice anything.

“I’m not hungry anymore” she smiled at him, slightly pushing her plate away. He pushed it back to her.

“I don’t care. I don’t want people thinking I’m treating you poorly” she stiffly grabbed her half eaten slice and when she was nearly done, he put another one on her plate. In the distance, she saw the familiar orange subaru parallel park. Her heart rate increased.

“Thank you. Was that phone call good news?” Kaia knew that the number one thing Tyler liked was talking about himself and his accomplishment. She turned to face him more and tried her best to look really engaged in the conversation, despite her sweaty palms and pounding heart. She was grateful that his back was facing the inside of the restaurant and he turned to face her too, telling her about the exec who was interested in meeting him and listening to his work. She nodded and replied appropriately, but she couldn’t tell you what more he said. Kaia was too focused on the scene in the restaurant unfolding. She watched as Charlie walked in and explained the situation to the hostess who then called over what looked like the manager. The three of them stood in discussion as a police officer entered the restaurant as well, pointing to their table. Her stomach sank as she watched the officer and Charlie leave, but she did her best to keep her eyes focused, only looking at the background when he went for a bite or a drink.

The waitress made her way over and asked how their meal was or if there was anything that she could get for them. Kaia shook her head no and Tyler did as well, but she dropped off napkins, tapping them lightly and looking at Kaia directly. She took it as a sign that the napkins had something important, so she intentionally took a messy bite of pizza, to wipe her face. Too bad Tyler got to the napkin first. Wiping his mouth, he noticed a smudge mark of ink on the napkin and Kaia immediately knew she was done for. His face changed in an instant and he glared at her, throwing cash onto the table.

“Get up.”

“But I’m not done-”

“I said, Get. Up.” Kaia did as she was told and Tyler grabbed her arm, not caring at who was staring. She started to walk, but it wasn’t good enough for Tyler as he forced her to his side. “You think you’re so smart? Tipping off the waitress like you’re some prisoner”

“I didn’t-”

“Shut up. You little liar. I’m not hurting you. I’m not forcing you to be here. You can leave, but you don’t because you know that you’re nothing without me” he hissed into her ear as they made their way to the entrance, but the officer stopped them midway. “Can I help you, officer?”

“I just need to ask you some questions outside. Ma’am I’m going to have to ask you to wait inside with the manager” the officer was stern and surely Tyler would comply, but he proved different.

“I don’t feel comfortable leaving my girlfriend by herself,” he added, pulling her close.

“Tyler, just do as he says” she winced at the grip he had on her arm, glaring at her.

“Sir, you need to come with me. Ma’am, I’m going to need you to step away from him” Kaia complied but Tyler didn’t, and soon she began to fight him off, struggling for her freedom all the while the police officer was trying to deescalate the situation. She finally slapped him across the face and he splashed a glass of water that was sitting on a table in her face, then throwing the glass at her. The police officer restrained him immediately and dragged him outside, while Kaia was left in the restaurant wet and a bruise starting to form on her cheek bone.

Was this it? Was it over?

She felt a soft warm cloth envelop her shoulders and she was handed a dish rag to try to dry off, but she was still in shock. She was moved to a less populated area of the restaurant, away from any clients and was sat down at a table. That’s when Charlie came running back in. As he rushed over to where she was sitting, she felt her own legs start to move quickly towards him, falling into his embrace. Charlie held her close, comforting her by whispering soothing words into her ears. He moved them to the table she was originally at and sat beside her, holding her while her tears fell and even after. He held her while another police officer approached them to update them on Tyler. He held her as they took down her statement and gave her directions as to what she would do next.

“Here is the address to the temporary apartment we will have you stay in. Do you have a vehicle or need transportation” Kaia read the address on the paper, but before she could speak up, Charlie did.

“Kai, I can drive you if you want. I can even help you get things that you need from your place” he smiled gently at her and cautiously, knowing that she was still in shock and overwhelmed.

“You’ll have a police escort on the premise if you would like to return home to grab a few things” Kaia looked at Charlie searching his eyes for some sort of sign that he was as hurtful as Tyler.

“I’ll let him drive me back and forth, thank you.” her voice sounded slightly croaky, probably from her crying. The officer notified them that she could give them 10 minutes before they had to leave. They would follow Charlie’s car to her house and escort her around to grab what she needed. From there, she would be followed to her temporary residence, until the courts could come to a conclusion about her situation. As the officer stepped away, Kaia took a deep breath and let out a big sigh.

“Thank you Charlie”

“I should be thanking you. What you did was hard, but it was the right thing to do. I’m always here for you, however you need me” He kissed her hand that he held and pulled her in for another hug. For the first time, in a long time, Kaia felt something she didn’t know she was missing.

Loved.

A/N: Look out for part 2!

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie imagines #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie fanfiction #fanfiction #imagine #imagines

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syubub · 4 years

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YOONGI SOULMATE READING

Disclaimer~tarot is speculative and this is my interpretation of energy. Take it with a grain of salt.

Honey boi time. Strap down because this one is wild. Kinda. And soft. Really really soft. And a little creepy. Buckle in.

So for starters Yoon has a dark, royal blue color energy. It isn't as opaque as Koos was but it was very... thick? Like its not that it wasn't opaque from a lack of energy but rather that kinda had clear energy mixed in too?? It was really pretty and its kinda like the more you look at it the deeper it gets?

It was kinda like this but deeper? And it was almost reflective and "sparkly" idk put it was real pretty.

So first thing to note. Yoon is always easy for me to connect with so he didn't have any barriers put up or whatever so when I was going towards him he was in red flannel pj bottoms and I was like, "am I missing something?" But no. He was just being comfy I guess? Now usually when I connect with energy of a person there's this like eternal tree trunk rope colum thing of energy or something that I kinda follow and then there's little platforms that they're on? I always have my back facing the energy colum thing when I connect.

That was not the case this time. Yoon essentially led me to his side to face the energy trunk? And he was like, "its weird on this side, huh?" ??? Hello, sir. What the fuck. This to me hints that maybe he is also going out and consciously connecting to energies? Idk man. But I was like, "yeah, it is kinda weird" It only gets weirder.

Next I was facing yoon and I was like hey I want to read your soulmate and gave him like a big ole energy marble expecting that to kinda get the connection going but the only thing I heard from his soulmate was "I can't tell you" like shit. And then he dissolved my energy offering? Oki. And I essentially couldn't connect with his soulmate at all. Anyway, I floated off the little platform thing (that was real bizarre) and yoongi connected with me.

His soulmates energy wasn't present at all but I was told to continue any way. Now for in my opinion the creepiest part. So, keep in mind yoons is actively connected to me and I was like, "well, if your soulmate isn't here then please guide me to what deck I should use for their personality signifier and he pointed me to the fountain tarot.

I started shuffling and after I did one bridge shuffle and split it to do another one he was like, "hey, you're gonna get temperance reverse fyi" and I was like hahaha no. And he was like, "no. Listen to me. Bridge twice, hand shuffle twice and split into two. And you'll get temperance rev. Turn it ride side up when it comes out" I was like okay but you crazy. Tarot doesn't work like that

Guess what fucking came up? TEMPERANCE REVERSED when I tell you I freaked out I mean I fuckin freaked. I know it sounds made up or unbelievable and if I didn't see it happen I'd say its fake but FUCK DUDE. So i asked my pendulum if it should be reverse and it was like no, flips that shit. And I swear to God yoongi was laughing at me for being spooked like the smug ass that he is.

Now

First note I wrote was sagittarius energy. This person has sagittarius energy. Yep yep yep. This person balances him out. Temperance is the card of sagittarius. Heavy fire influence in the cart.

Oki now onto personality explained. I got 3 of coins, the heirophant, ace of wands and the magician. This person is very spiritual and has been manifesting him (they’ve manesfesting eachother but I'll get to that later?) This is a person that values knowledge and is very creative and has a lot of quick ideas. This person also really values communication of knowledge. Loves to get it loves to share it. Probably the person that can tell you a stupid fact about almost anything.

We also have networked, storyteller, god and mentor. This is someone who loves to teach people about what they've learned. They like to share the wisdom (with the god card im inclined to say that they share spiritual wisdom but I don't see it as a career?) This person values communication and collecting knowledge.

Now, on to relationship. We have wheel of fortune, justice, ace of wands and the lovers. This relationship has been in the works on a spiritual level for a long time. They’ve been actively manifesting eachother. We know Yoon is at least a little psychic so this makes sense. This relationship is founded in balance. They treat eachother as equals. I also wrote, "certainly something devine". They have a witty rapport and its so so so loving! They have really good communication and respect for eachother! They are also good at keeping eachither accountable.

Now for this person's career. They’ve been going through a change so their career is undecided. There was likely a period of depression that put a pause on their career? But there's also the queen of coins which suggests that they will be making good money. Now, I chose 3 clarity cards on the queen of coins to help me figure out where this money will be coming from and I drew three more coin cards so this means this person is on the cusp of making some good money soon!

Now we have answer the call, awakening and share your voice. They are being called to be together. Again yoon is woke af and apparently so is his soulmate. The picture i get is like when they finally meet they're both a little shy because they've been connecting with eachothers energies and they're like, "whos gonna bring it up?" Like they are finally out of hiding when they meet. Its cute as fuck.

Oki. We have answered prayers, spiritual path and make time for self care. THEY ARE MANIFESTING EACHOTHER. They are a woke pair and the energy is so sturdy and solid. I also get the sense that they engage in self care together? Like they'll make sure to take care of themselves spiritual and physical. I also think that they would be that type of couple to have a mad bath bomb collection.

Side note: while I was doing this I got like a cute little picture in my head of them sitting on the couch in pj's and facemasks with towels on their heads sipping wine and that makes me soft.

Now onto the message from his soulmate cards. So we have release all anger, new idea, be positive, take a shot, Have you eaten? You're acting like a big ass baby and shit is going down with your job. Now. I made a note that this is from Yoon to his soulmate? Um, sir? But oki, yoon makes the rules. What I get from this is that his soulmate is currently going through some job related stuff and he's saying, "hey, its okay to start over. Do that thing you've been wanting to do for a while" he wants his soulmate to stop focusing on what isn't going right and just start fresh. I also lowkey think he's like, you need to just fucking chill. The world isn't imploding just because something isn't working out. Its very reassuring and it feels like he wants to comfort them. Cute

Let's talk about the descriptors now. Yoon was very picky with these? Which confused me. They don't know eachother in person is the vibe im getting and I don't think yoon has ever seen this person either? I think maybe he's had dreams of his soulmate? Idk but the cards are: quality time, fashionable, unique, free spirit, independent, short hair, younger, sweet, charming. I also made a note for brown hair and a masculine chart.

For my little word cards we have, fate, vows, serendipity and loyalty. WE GET IT. YOURE ADORABLE TOGETHER

"All men should learn before they die, what they are running from and to and why" is the little fortune. I think that this is yoon telling his soulmate to do some shadow work? Like find out why you do the things you do, why certain things anger you ect.

Now at this point I was told that I had to use the small deck to get more cards about the relationship. I was like "I already did that but whatever" and I did. I pulled 10 of cups, 2 of cups and the lovers again. WHAT. THE. FUCK. This is the most romantic and soulmatey soulmate reading ever. 10 of cups is emotional fulfillment. This is just everything. Everything! 2 of cups is romance, unified love. Its also about partnership. They work so well together. And the lovers card. Love, relationships and harmony. Oh my god its fucking nuts.

Now onto the final card. Again. Very very very clearly told that this is for his soulmate. We have, the perfection of your life. This card talks about a spiritual storm coming to shake things up in order to put things to put things back in perfect order. A quote I like from the book is, "all is unfolding to a perfect higher order." This to me kinda sums it up well. Shit is about to get crazy for his soulmate and its not a bad thing. Change is need for this person and there is change coming that will stir every thing up and place it back in better places. Ugh. I can't. He wants his soulmate not to fear the storm but rather embrace it and know that positive change will come out of it.

Last part. When the reading is over I always disconnect and essentially put the energy back? This time on yoons little platform (I sound like a lunatic trying to describe some of this shit I swear) I was like, "hey thanks for being cooperative and being so active and involved i appreciate that." And then he gave me an energy marble ball thing too? I was like, "thanks but what the fuck" and then I did what he did when I gave him the marble ball energy thing in the beginning and just... put it in my energy? Like thats what he did? so is that like an energy custom that I don't know about? Wtf. My best guess is that I gave him an offering of energy and he gave me some in return at the end? And then the little shit just dissappears? MIN YOONGI I HAVE QUESTIONS YOU CAN'T JUST DISSAPPEAR??

But he did. And that was the end. It was super fucking bizarre. So for say joo I connected to his soulmate through him. So it was a connection with the soulmate but hosted by joons energy? For Jk his soulmate gave me a direct link which was new and awesome but for Yoongi it was just a very direct connection with him. Just him.

That really tells me that he knows his soulmate well on a soul level and his soulmate literally said, "I can't tell you"

I'm confused but very happy for him!

Yoon is a very soft and sweet man, pass it on

#bts #bts tarot #bts reactions #bts rm #jungkook #seokjin #taehyung #bts imagines #yoongi #bts jhope #min suga #suga #jimin

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bitchesgetriches · 4 years

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Noble citizens of the aspirationally decadent Conglomerated Nation of Bitches Get Riches: let’s have a lil’ chat, shall we? It’s been a while since we chatted about our favorite topic: ourselves!

We hope you’ve enjoyed season two of the Bitches Get Riches podcast. Recording it was a bright spot for us during this dumpster fire of a year, so thank you all for listening.

As we wrap up another season, we had a few notes to share with you. Including some more personal reflections about how we’re doing, where we’re at, and what the future holds.

Let’s get into it!

Merch is back online

If you visited our Etsy shop in the last few months, you might’ve noticed the physical merch—tee shirts and coffee mugs and tote bags and such—wasn’t listed anymore. Basically, when lockdowns started, it caused a lot of disruption and delays on orders. Not wanting people to be stuck waiting for stuff, we decided to take it all offline, and only offer digital merch.

As of today, we’ve reactivated everything! But please keep in mind that there may still be delays, depending on what’s happening in the world! We appreciate your patience, if patience is indeed called for.

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Season one transcripts

Next, we wanted to let you guys know that we now have transcripts available for season one of the Bitches Get Riches podcast!

We’re committed to making BGR as accessible as we possibly can. We know that some people can’t hear, or struggle to absorb information aurally, so transcripts were something we’ve always wanted to offer.

… But, you know, at the end of the day, we’re just two people! Transcribing and editing audio is time- and labor-intensive work, and there just aren’t enough hours in the day for us to do it along with the fifteen million other things we have to do.

We were able to offer season one transcripts thanks entirely to A Purple Life, a peerlessly talented and wonderful fellow blogger who selflessly made it happen. (If you don’t already read her stuff, you’ve already disobeyed us, as we commanded you to in 10 Rad Black Money Experts to Follow Right the Hell Now. And for that, we’re strongly considering smiting you.)

We’re incredibly thankful to Purple for her hard work on this. But we also feel strongly that this DESERVES to be paid work! So the release of season two transcripts is dependent on getting more Patreon donors to offset funding it.

Season 1, Episode 1: “Should I Tell My Boss I’m Looking for Another Job?”

Season 1, Episode 2: “How Should I Behave on My First Day at Work?”

Season 1, Episode 3: “My Parents Have Bad Credit. Should I Help by Co-signing Their Mortgage?”

Season 1, Episode 4: “Capitalism Is Working for Me. So How Could I Hate It?”

Season 1, Episode 5: “I Don’t Love My Job, but It Pays Well. Should I Quit—or Tough It Out?”

Season 1, Episode 6: “I Lent My Boyfriend Money. He Took It to a Casino.”

Season 1, Episode 7: “I’m Terrible at Budgeting. Do I Suck It Up—Or Is There Another Way?”

Season 1, Episode 8: “My Mother Demands Information About My One-Night Stands.”

Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”

Season 1, Episode 10: “I Want a Pedigreed Dog. She Wants a Rescue Mutt. It Turned into a Fight… and the Fight Got Ugly.”

Season 1, Episode 11: “I Feel Cornered by a Friend Who Keeps Asking to Borrow Money.”

Season 1, Episode 12: “Should I Believe the Fear-Mongering about Another Recession?”

Bonus Episode: Merry Bitchmas! The 2019 Star-Studded Holiday Spectacular

For transcripts, scroll to the bottom of each episode and click “episode transcript.” Or read them directly in the podcast player of your choice!

Podcast reviews

We also super wanted to thank all the people who’ve etched their names in blood upon the dusty pages of our dark grimoire written reviews for the show on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and other places!

We are beyond flattered by the kind things you guys have said about us. Like MoonPetalLily, who described us as “the snarky older sisters [they] wish [they] had.”

FunshineKelly said our “advice helped [them] land a $20k raise and a signing bonus without crying even a little bit.” GOOD! We don’t support tears in the workplace! Not even in the sanctity of your car parked way in the corner of the parking lot. Keep it together!

And God bless MelHubbs, who said, and I quote:

They’re prepared, and still relaxed; informative, and still light-hearted; comforting, and still sexual. It’s everything you could ever want in a podcast, in an internet personality, in your sisters-in-arms against the terrible war between capitalism and what humans actually need to survive & thrive. One of my favorite things about them is that they don’t have any corporate sponsors or ads, so you know what they’re saying is what they mean, not what their advertisers want them to say. If you’re able, support them on Patreon! If you’re not, listen to their podcast, take their advice to heart, reflect on your options, make your moves, then, with your newfound financial independence, become a patreon!

MelHubbs, you joyful sonnet!

Your review is so good that it reads suspiciously like something we paid you to write! But we’re too cheap for that—IT REAL!

Bitches Get Riches at the crossroads

All right. Time to level with you guys.

In keeping with 2020’s overarching theme (“everything is pure shit”), this year has become a real “shit or get off the pot” moment for the two of us.

Although I’m comfortable and doing fine, Piggy is still unemployed. And last week she received the last unemployment check she’s entitled to. It sucks. And it’s scary.

Being a partnership is awesome in almost every way. But one way that it sucks is that we have to earn double the amount of money to be truly profitable! (And no, before you ask, it’s not possible for us to only pay Piggy. Believe me, that was our original plan—but it turns out that’s not allowed in a 50/50 legal partnership. We must pay ourselves equally, or Uncle Sam will spank us. And he doesn’t do it in the sexy way—only the traumatic way!)

Piggy is doing okay for now. She has freelancing work, and an intact emergency fund. But understandably, anxiety and worry take their toll. She’s pushing through it, but it’s hard. Creativity and passion can’t thrive for long without some measure of safety and stability.

During these scary times, our Patreon community has been a lifeline. As more and more of you have joined us, it’s slowly crept up from grocery money to grocery and utility bill money! So thank you, thank you, from the bottom of our hearts thank you to those who’ve stepped up and joined.

But we’re kind of at a crossroads. Because of Piggy’s situation, we really need it to become “paying the mortgage” money. And it’s gotta get there pretty fast. Otherwise, it’s just not fair to ask Piggy to invest so much of her time in Bitches Get Riches, when she could be taking on higher paying freelancing work to keep herself afloat.

And trust me, you do not want a BGR that’s too Kitty-heavy. I am longwinded af, slowly losing my abilities to think and spell, and take every possible detour to inject disgusting sexual comments wherever they are least germane (although idk maybe you’re here for that).

Our new goal for ourselves, and you

With all of that in mind, we have a new goal: to produce season three of our podcast, we need 500 total Patreon donors.

Today we have… 294. So that’s, uhhhhh… a really ambitious goal!

It’s probably too ambitious. We’re probably gonna fail. Who cares, it’s 2020! The planet is on fire and god is already dead, so we have no reason not to give it our all!

We are leaving this in your hands. We—Piggy and I—believe that the world would be a better place if people could hear reliable, relatable financial wisdom funded by regular people, untainted by corporate sponsors with deep pockets who want us to push their capitalist crap upon you. And 294 of you have already demonstrated that you believe that too. Thank you, thank you, infinity thank yous to all of you who are already a part of our Patreon community. You are shining stars that smell faintly of vanilla.

For the rest of you: if you like what we do and you want us to keep doing it, please show us that you believe in it too. You can do that by joining us at the Bitches Get Riches Patreon.

We hope to be back soon for a third season. Until then, stay safe, stay sane, wear your masks, triple-check that you’re registered to vote, and save room for dessert. (What’s for dessert? So glad you asked—it’s the rich!)

For now, Bitches OUUUTTTTT!

Join the Bitches on Patreon

#etsy #merch #bitches get riches #patreon #donations #personal finance #financial advice #money #adulting #money advice #advice #adulting advice

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felassan · 3 years

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Highlights and insights from the N7 Day cast & crew reunion panel

[Rewatch link]

In case a text format is better for anyone. There are some NSFW references. Cut for length.

(Some paraphrasing.)

“Some of us are inebriated”

“Patrick Weekes, the killer of man and beasts, the breaker of hearts”

JHale put the whole thing together, it’s the biggest ME cast reunion to date

The cast had no idea that the remaster was a thing

Lots of ace discussion about what the magic of the MET is (“it captured lightning in a bottle”)

Lots of warm fuzzies between the cast, crew and community, and lots of fun behind-the-scenes anecdotes

Lots of great discussion on the diversity and inclusion in ME: on gender, sexuality, representation, empowerment, the core message in the MET that “we’re all in this together or we’re screwed”, the progress made in the portrayal of female characters in gaming, etc. “Everything behind what went into these characters was authentic, we [the VAs] could tell that so much research, texture, authenticity etc had gone into them. It really made a difference”. JHale: “I’ve spent my career kicking down ceilings [barriers and so on women actors experience] with my steel-toed boot. To get to be a part of this game that has now created the expectation that there now be a female PC, ‘duh’, is once of the great things of my life. BioWare listened and put her on the box. The first time someone dropped the box in front of me I held it over my head and screamed over the crowd, ‘Casey Hudson, thank youuu!!’ It was a divine moment. This game was the moment the boot finally crashed through the glass, pushed by millions of women.”

The panel received many messages from the question submission from fans expressing that MET really helped them through very dark places and periods in their lives. The cast have had a lot of interactions with fans over the years where the fans expressed similar sentiments to them

ME was one of the first games Keythe Farley (Thane) acted for that had branching dialogue/dialogue choices, and when he saw the script with that when he went in, he was like “wow”. ME was the second big game D. C. Douglas (Legion) ever did. In his first audition he didn’t know it was for a robot-type character as it was disguised as something else with a military-feel. The second time it was to do a speech/lament at someone’s funeral and he knew it was for a robot. He said playing Legion for him was a case of “wake up, drink some coffee and go to work”

Jack was really special to her VA Courtenay Taylor because she relates to her so much and had a lot of similar emotional problems and personal troubles in her past. Jack helped her become who she has became. The host added that in his interactions with Courtenay over the years, he realized very quickly that she is very much like Jack

AWR has two moms, something which she hasn’t talked about/expressly said publicly before. Talking about recording lines between Sam and Femshep made her tear up. She said that being raised by two moms in the 80s was tough due to societal attitudes at the time, and so to see a loving relationship between two women depicted in a game was a big deal for her. When recording the white picket fence conversation, she was actually crying (“and then I’m crying because of the lesbians”). It was a huge moment for her to represent her moms’ journey. When she went home she told them all about how her character is gay and wants a white picket fence and everything “just like we had”.

When PW was working on Sam’s arc, one of the things they did was show it to one of their colleagues, who is a lesbian, asking what things she’d like to see in an arc like that and what things she felt were missing from it. The white picket fence conversation came from the colleague’s feedback (“we wanna see the nice, healthy, happy domestic stuff”, as it’s often missing in portrayals of wlw relationships)

As the VAs got more into their characters, they sometimes had feedback and input to the process to offer, like “I don’t think she’d say [this] like [that]”. Sometimes they knew their characters even better than the crew did sometimes. JHale waxed lyrical about Caroline Livingstone’s awesome direction, with the host adding that he has interviewed a lot of the VAs over the years and they all talk about Caroline like she’s Gandalf the White coming to the rescue in LotR. AWR expressed that Caroline is really funny (“don’t worry it’s not you, PW was sick when they wrote this line that’s why”) and emotionally in-tune with them and this makes long hard sessions with her a joy

When Mark went into record for the Citadel DLC one day he asked Caroline “wouldn’t be great if Shepard’s clone had been made to be the opposite gender? Then the two Shepards could fight each other!”

William Salyers (Mordin) likes the way Mordin’s story ended and felt that it was wonderful to be able to play that. He feels like the luckiest person because as he wasn’t the original VA of Mordin, he got to come in late to something that was amazing. “Caroline helped me get to where I needed to be emotionally to play that final scene. It was one of the most moving things I’ve ever gotten to do personally for a piece of interactive art”. PW related that with Mordin’s writing, they didn’t realize how much they were asking for. They thought William was amazing doing all the science-speak/technobabble, as they themselves didn’t know what it meant, and then suddenly having to deliver emotional heartbreaking lines. William’s always been a secret science nerd and so he loved that fact about Mordin. “It was a real treat to say your words”

Karin: “I always claim credit for the Scientist Salarian song even though I had nothing to do with it. I opened that door for PW”

Steve Blum (Grunt) found it a real treat playing Grunt as Grunt is a tough soldier on the outside but a [babey] on the inside, while he is more the other way around (softer on the outside, fight-y inside). He isn’t a gamer and so didn’t know what to expect or what he was getting into. There was the big pile of words, they showed him the picture of Grunt, and he just ran with it. “Grunt was kind of a perfect character for me in that respect”. Side note: his wry comments throughout the panel were hilarious

“Casey Hudson, our glorious loving overlord”

Courtenay jokes about “interspecies snorkeling”

The women Courtenay met working on this game are her friends for life. Ali Hillis (Liara) gave her her number the night of the ME3 drop and was like “let’s hang out!!” “JHale is the shit. I go to England and there’s AWR and I have this friend for life”.

“We’re a family”. The host comments that you don’t see this kind of closeness between the people on a lot of projects

Kimberley Brooks (Ashley) thinks things have and are changing for the better in terms of roles for women, and roles for brown and black women. This year she has noticed increasing awareness of inclusion and of where it’s lacking. “The copies I’m being sent for auditions, it’s drastically changing, I’m seeing it change before my eyes. It’s really exciting, there’s more and more roles for me.” “Ash is such a strong character and I felt very badass playing her, it was life-changing”. She’s excited that the remaster is going to be a new way to see these characters that they’ve been so lucky to voice. Kimberley/Ash was the first female character Karin saw in the studio, when she saw her she was like “Wow, she’s so kickass and inspiring”. At this point Karin hadn’t been working at BioWare for all that long, and she wanted to thank Kimberley, because she saw her and heard her voice and had a personal ‘this changes everything’ moment

Raphael Sbarge (Kaidan) finds it very moving how many women were encouraged into gaming due to ME

Raphael: “Everyone here has awesome varied careers, but because ME was so collaborative [and so on], [it was something really rare and special]. Nothing else I’ve done has been so important or impassioned, it has almost a religious experience to it, which you can see from tears in fans’ eyes and tattoos and people talking about it 10 years later”. “I’m so grateful for it.” “Clearly we’re going to do this again next year! :D” D. C. added that it’s going to follow him for the rest of his career. Courtenay says it has catapulted her career

PW talked about how it’s great that the female chars in ME were allowed to have real, realistic flaws and dark periods (as opposed to nonsense stuff like ‘her flaw is that she’s clumsy’)

Having the male and female PC be voiced was a big, expensive commitment for the studio. Karin commented that at the time, it was a risk that the pretty-much almost entirely-male leadership of BioWare at the time decided was important to take, and so she was happy that these were the values her colleagues had

PW was “the junior baby writer on ME1. I’d just gotten to the studio and Mac Walters fell down a flight of stairs and hurt his back, and they pulled me in while he was healing”. Karin: “Mac was very understanding when PW fell on the ice and hurt themselves during ME2.” PW: “My job in ME1 was to come up with conversations between followers to pass the time in the elevator loading times. I was throwing stuff at the wall to see what would stick”

Steve turning his volume down before he shouts classic Grunt quotes down the mic

Caroline: “Do you know how many tears were shed in the booth? How many times have we all cried in the booth...” JHale: “We were recording the end of ME3, which I never call the end, because I’m always like I’M HERE! [wink] The goodbye Garrus lines” - these lines got right under her skin and when she went to say her lines she couldn’t speak because she’d burst into tears. “It was all I could do to say those words... and then there was silence... [and Caroline had gotten choked up too].” This was one of the last sessions they did. PW: “John Dombrow wrote Garrus in ME3 and I’m gonna tell him that he got you both to break.”

Caroline was also really teary during Keith David’s (Anderson)’s performance where he tells Shepard she’s like his daughter. This moment was one of JHale’s favorites to act

BioWare came up with a proprietary VA recording system which JHale describes as a secret sauce as-yet not widely-used in the industry

Lots of fun in the line-reading portion at the end. The lines/scenes were sent in by fans. This starts around timestamp 1 hour 50 mins. There’s a break where they discuss more anecdotes after a bit then some line-reading resumes at 1 hour 59 mins 18 secs

"Salarian Vorcha Conrad Verner simmering sexual tension scene”

One of PW’s fondest memories is of ME3 when JHale and Mark got to play off each other (which they naturally didn’t get to do very much), when PW had shoved the entire script of the Blasto movie into random ambience throughout the Citadel. They knew Mark was going to be Blasto as he voiced most of the hanar. PW: “We had to have Blasto’s elcor partner’s hot sister... And I was like could it be JHale?? Because they hardly ever get to talk to each other. It was one of my proudest moments”. Mark: “Not only that, we had a romance.” JHale: “Yeah, it was hot”.

“Think of the poor cold freezing Edmontonian hanar”

PW’s story about Sam’s toothbrush: They wrote it as a throwaway line but AWR did it so well that PW wanted to bring it back in the Citadel DLC, as that DLC was the action-comedy one. So they decided the toothbrush was going to save the Normandy. The art director at the time was in an early playthrough of the scene and in that version of the scene Sam held up her empty hand. The director was like “We gotta make the toothbrush? Really? It’s gonna be thousands of dollars to render the toothbrush.” It then got to the next few lines and the director deadpanned at PW “Okay that’s pretty good, we’ll make the toothbrush.” PW: “Good, I got my toothbrush.”

It was John’s idea that we find out that Mordin had been working on a crime noir novel. There was a period in the development of the Citadel DLC where PW was feeling like “Mordin’s gone, he had his big moment, I want to respect and honor that” and the entire team were like “I think Mordin needs a couple more songs dude”. “Well alright!” By that point William had shown them he could deliver literally any line

“Oh I need a shower that was so steamy hot”

PW got in trouble with Localization over Jack’s “Save some of your energy, we’re gonna do it on the pool table” exchange. Localization were like “Um could you explain what Jack means by this??” These lines were PW’s, Karin as an editor got the question about it and passed it on to PW like “nope this is your fault”. “The best part is it was France that needed PW to explain the joke while apparently Germany were like ‘Yes please confirm that this is regarding the possibility of oral sex-’”

Keythe on voicing Thane: “Thane was a real lesson in opening up to the character, allowing this beautifully conflicted character to exist. Each character in the MET has conflicts within themselves and a tragic flaw that is revealed through the course of conflict.” He also waxed lyrical about how the MET was akin to Star Wars and Citizen Kane, and about the interconnectedness and representation in it

D. C.: “I have a question for you guys. Was it a conscious decision to not have Legion as a romance? Because there are a lot of upset people out there!!” “Voltage problems.” “A lot of creative reuses of ‘There was a hole.’” PW: “It was a process of us figuring out what we wanted to do. If we had known... The number of people who were like ‘I don’t know, are people gonna wanna romance Garrus? Liara? She’s blue and has no hair. Are people gonna be okay with that?” Karin: “We were young and naïve, now we know BioWare fans are thirsty.”

Derek brought in the first picture of Thane to show Caroline and she was like “He’s really hot, that’s gonna be a killer character. People are gonna want to romance that gentleman”

Raphael asked the BioWare team if there’s ever been a point where they thought about doing more DLC content or some kind of revival. “Has that ever come up?” “We’re legally obligated not to say, sorry, we’re going through a tunnel right now, bad reception!!”

D. C.: “Does this country have a soul?” “It does.”

“An N7 Day to remember! Go forth and heal.”

#bioware #mass effect #video games #lgbtq #feels #lul #garrus vakarian #best boy #please remember if you are a minor you should not be following me #a minor = under 18 #next mass effect

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thecrimsonjaguar · 3 years

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A Short List of Adventure Time AUs

So I got a google doc of adventure time aus I’ve made over the past two or three years. Here are some of my favorites (and also the ones I came back to and edited)

If you’ve got ideas for an au or ideas to add onto the preexisting ones I’ve got here, please tell me! I’m always up for some au discussion.

1.) Jermaine AU: Jermaine comes to live at the treehouse after his house blows up. This, unlike canon, happens rather early in season 3. The rest of the series mainly stays the same, except this time there's three brothers instead of two. He's a kinda anxious dude with demon hunting expertise and a painting hobby. He sometimes wonders if he made Dad disappointed by letting all his work explode. Finn and Jake help him out, and he helps them. Despite this, Jermaine is the only one with a brain, and Finn and Jake share exactly one (1) braincell that they trade every so often. Jermaine is tired. (Jermaine is the only one who tries to clean regularly, and he's also the one to keep Neptr, Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant, and a few others company. He's a bit of real wisdom the early series Finn and Jake needed.

2.) Melted Ice AU: Mid season two, IK is hit with something that de-ages him. He turns six. Maybe this mystery de-aging thing blows up the top of the ice mountain, who knows. Maybe he wakes up in the snow, with no memory of how he got there or why. No memory of the last one thousand years. Finn and Jake don't know about his backstory since that happens in season three. Simon is carried by a snowman out of the ice kingdom where he breaks down in the plains. Finn, of course, finds him and is ecstatic to meet another human. Completely missing the fact that this small child is, in fact, the Ice King, Finn declares to help this boy no matter what. That promise soon becomes difficult when people hear about the second human in Ooo, and whatever effect that's keeping him young starts to wear off. (Marceline comes to visit and has a heart attack)

3.) Adventure Falls AU: AT x GF baybee!! Seventeen year old Stanley Pines hops on the Stan O' War and sets sail when he's kicked out. Unfortunately, that boat is nowhere near sea worthy, and all it takes for him to go overboard is one sudden (magical) storm. But, miraculously, Stan doesn't die. He washes up on Ooo, the island of misfits. Where there's daddy issues galore and punching things and getting gold is a legitimate career. He's found on the shore by none other than Finn, who asks if he's okay and if a dungeon adventure would soothe his worries. Stan accepts, because that sounds awesome, and they maybe date. For the next ten years, Stanley is a professional hero. He travels with Finn, he lives in a tower with tons of gold, he's respected, adored, and has made a family for himself. Ooo has a habit of forcing traumatic therapy onto to people, so Stan gets (read: is forced) to work his issues out. And then, somehow, he gets a postcard from his brother.

4.) Young Pups AU: Jake's kids grow up fast- but not that fast. He stays with lady for a few episodes being Dad and when the Pups are old enough, go visit Finn and Jermaine. Also Jermaine is there when the pups are born that always bothered me in canon like what the fuck. This whole AU results in Jake the Dad being a better father than in canon, because he actually has time to make mistakes and learn from them. He sometimes shapeshifts into one of those baby carriers but suited for five kids instead of one. Finn and Jermaine fight for best uncle privileges. Finn is considerably more awesome but Jermaine's got magic junk and juicy stories about Jake. So far the votes are: FINN: Jake Jr, T.V. JERMAINE: Kim Kil Whan, Charlie. Viola remains undecided.

4.) Evilgreen AU: Evergreen was evil. His idea to make the crown to stop the comet was actually a cover story to take control of all the elements and freeze everything. Of course the same thing happens here as it did in canon, Gunther gets the crown and wishes to *be* evergreen. This is bad. Very bad, so bad in fact, that things get FUnKy. A couple eons later, Simon gets the crown as per canon, and then things start to slide downhill. Since the crown is significantly worse, Simon tries to get rid of it. No amount of magic pull is going to get him to put on the eldritch hat. It teleports back. When things go to shit, the crown tells him he's got two options: He can either live, or he can live unwillingly. This all coalesces in super angst and mild horror as Simon has to fight off evil urges and somehow keep both he and Marceline safe. Things start looking up, though, when he summons Hunson Abadeer.

5.) Nightmare Therapy AU: Simon, now himself post canon, has some funky nightmares. Problem is: he's due for a visit from the cosmic owl due to some mystical bureaucratic bs. If that were to happen, Simon's dreams of Golb and Orgalorg and the world ending and everyone dying and maze would come true, without the veil of metaphoric junk dreams are known for (also due to bureaucratic bs). So, Simon gets a dream therapist. An OC, probably, that would fight off his nightmares when they came and talk to him about his issues.

6.) High School AU: Except they're all still magic and crap. Finn's a jock that's part of the LDnD club(Literally Dungeons and Dragons), Jake's got a job at a pancake place and hosts the Card Wars clubs on Wednesdays, Jermaine's in college and their parents were still detectives/demon hunters. PB is preppy/nerdy girl with weird fucking family and is absolutely a mad scientist. Marceline is still a demon/vamp (vampire biker gang, they all died, deaths pending) and her uncle is Simon. Simon is a history teacher whose ex wife might be an eldritch abomination (the students wonder, but there are no answers)((simon says cryptic things every so often that are the subject of much ridicule, but he's a nice guy)). Ooo High has all of the AT characters in some shape or form. Tree trunks is the lunchlady, Mr Pig is a janitor. Lemongrab is just there. LSP(Q?) is a teacher because that's hilarious. Hunson is dead along with Marceline's mom because fuck hunson. Magic Man is a hobo that snuck onto campus and can't be chased off (his brother is the superintendent, Glob). there's a lot more but that's for a different word doc.

7.) Back to the Future AU: So PB fucks around with time travel, right? For science. She gets sent back in time a thousand years, before the war. Now, she's a pink lady who can shoot jelly beans from her hands, of course needs to lay low. And of course she needs to get home, but she's in a Futurama situation where she only has one type of time machine; the one that can go into the past. Not to mention her own time machine got busted on her way there, so she's double screwed. But, she remembers something. There is an individual (two, actually) that knows about time travel in this time period. She knows him, and he's likely to help her if she plays her card right. She needs to find Simon and get back to her own time, preferably without dooming herself in the process. (perhaps she tries to steal the notes Simon has, and Simon's completely oblivious, except Betty can smell trouble from a mile away and immediately notices some pink woman trying to steal books and she goes ham. Perhaps she goes ham in such a way that Simon doesn't notice. Perhaps this goes on for seven acts.)

8.) Bread and Butter AU: Bella Noche during the episode Betty creates a huge black cube that engulfs all of Wizard City. This box acts as a cage and prevents Wizards from escaping the magic purge. Simon is unable to bring Betty back from the past, and he's fading fast. In a desperate attempt to stop things from escalating, Simon chugs a bottle of anti-magic like a fucking god. He gets through the cube that surrounds Bella Noche and knocks their lights out. He passes out, and when he comes to, the anti-magic he consumed as merged with him. This is because of a simple rule: Magic sticks to magic, anti-magic sticks to anti-magic. And since humans have always had just a little bit of anti -magic present within them, humans and anti-magic go together like bread and butter (badumtish) ((I have actually written a fanfic about this, you can find it here))

9.) Swapped AU: Through various shenanigans Ice King's and Magic Man's powers gets swapped. These shenanigans somehow land them in space as well. This happens before Magic Man's trial. The swapping of their powers results in Simon getting his memory back. It also gives Magic Man the Ice Crown, unfortunately for him though, it seems to hate him. Simon's glad to back, but quickly realizes one issue: He's still crazy. So the pair try to make it back to Ooo. MM needs his powers to swap himself with some other shmuck so he doesn't croak when his trial comes, but Simon's made it clear he isn't giving his powers up without a fight. The pair starts off rocky, neither trusting the other, but space trouble forces them to work together. Simon's a nice enough guy he wouldn't leave someone to die and MM really needs Simon alive so it works out. A weird friendship forms, and they learn get along. Just a couple of crazy space wizards. Then the crown is destroyed. MM is freed from the crown's control, and he's freed from magic. He gets his sanity back, just in time for his trial.

that’s all I’ve got for now!

#at #adventure time #adventure time au #adventure time aus #Finn the Human #finn #jake the dog #jake #marceline #princess bubblegum #pb #simon petrikov #betty grof #ice king #magic man #au #aus

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keanureevesisbae · 3 years

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Protection - Chapter 3

Summary: This mission might be a little bit harder than August anticipated, especially when they go to a basketball game together.

August Walker x Mia Makaruku (ofc)

Wordcount: 2.7k

Warnings: None

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

August stands in front of his window, as he stares at the people who march through the streets, folding in their umbrella’s as it finally stopped raining. However, August keeps thinking about one thing and one thing only.

Mia.

Her unique and special self, is not like anyone August has ever encountered. He isn’t sure how to handle this entire mission, especially because it became a whole lot more complicated than anyone originally anticipated. Befriending someone isn’t exactly his forte, but befriending Mia went shockingly easy. Of course, they experienced some bumps along the tiny way they have known one another, but being around her is so effortless.

And maybe that is what terrifies him the most. That she is so kind and so nice, making a friendship in the near future really easy.

When Mia stood in front of his door with the envelope in her hand—being the nice woman and neighbor she is—it made him do the thing he always does: being mean and rude, hoping the person on the receiving end of it would go away. It’s familiar, thus the safest option for him. Yes, it was the exact opposite of what Erika told him to do and he sure will not brief her about that incident, but he couldn’t help it. It just simply left his lips.

August did think she would scoff, walk away and he would’ve made his own job a whole lot harder.

But he was told his moustache made him look like a pedophile and that comment may have resulted in him standing in front of his mirror for what felt like hours, thinking about shaving it or leaving it.

All because one woman said it to him. He never lets things go to his head like that.

Thankfully his heater broke and he realized he got a second change to make things right with Mia, just as Erika told him to do and wanted him to do. He knew it would be hard, but he simply decided to shoot his shot.

The conclusion? Mia Makaruku has a heart of gold and she is way too good for him. Being around her felt neighborly, friendly and it made him feel normal. While protecting her and trying to make her remember the important things, it doesn’t feel like a job. August actually wants to do this, whether he was getting paid or not.

He thinks about her in a more friendly manner. First, he had to protect her because it was asked of him.

Now he actually wants to.

August places his hands on window frame, as he listens closely if he can hear a knock on his door, so they can leave together for the Bulls game. August pretends to be a bit confused on why he said yes to her. He doesn’t like basketball and doesn’t even really understand it, but saying no to Mia’s eyes, as she was slightly jumping up and down with happiness when she asked him, is something he couldn’t do.

This is going to be quite something.

The sound of faint knocking on his door, is what drags him out of his thoughts. He nearly sprints to the door, only to realize he is way too ready for this. For fuck’s sake, calm yourself.

He takes another calming breath as he tries to remind himself this is just very convenient, as he has to keep a close eye on her. According to the text Erika send him an hour ago, he must watch her as much as he can.

Meaning: he has to stalk her, even when she is at practice. Or he could make it easier for himself and be friends with her, so he has an excuse to be around her a whole lot more.

Once August opens the door, he sees Mia standing there in a way he has never seen her before. He saw her twice in sportswear and once in an oversized pajama with exploded frizzy hair, but now she has actually really dressed herself up.

‘Hello neighbor,’ she says with a bright smile.

August can’t help but stare at her and take her in. Mia straightened her wavy hair for the occasion and she even put on some light make-up; he notices she is wearing mascara for the first time, her plump lips are a blush pink color and he sees the glimmer on her cheekbones. Her coat hangs open, revealing a tight black shirt, grey plaid loose fitting pants with black and white accents, part with a pair of heeled boots.

He has to clear his throat to simply stop himself from gawking.

‘Are you okay?’ Mia asks him. ‘You haven’t said anything yet and it’s kinda scaring me.’

‘What do you want me to say?’ he asks, as he deeply frowns out of confusion.

‘I’m torn between a nice compliment or something condescending.’ She chuckles. ‘Come on, say something to me.’

‘I’m not a dog,’ he huffs. ‘You can’t order me to do stuff.’

She rolls her large eyes. ‘You’re such a party pooper,’ she tells him. ‘Since you’re not going to make me feel special, we should get going.’

After he put on his coat, he closes the door behind him and the two of them exit their apartment building. It is pretty interesting that Mia doesn’t just walk, but she has a certain hop in her steps. She also likes to talk his ear off and she greets a lot of people on the street.

‘So, I had to train on the side today. Again. Honestly, I’m so embarrassed. Like coach Riley is purposely trying to make me feel like shit. Besides, I’m not even limping anymore, so I don’t understand the point.’

‘You were limping?’ August asks.

‘Monday I slightly was, but it wasn’t even that bad. She is overreacting.’

It leaves his lips before he can even think about it: ‘She is just watching out for you.’

‘Oh, look at you,’ she says, ‘standing up for someone you don’t know.’ She tugs his sleeve with both of her hands. ‘You should stand up for me. Take my side in this story.’

He might find her absolutely adorable.

‘August, please, just say to me that it’s really unfair and that coach is being such a bitch for not letting me normally train.’

‘I’m not gonna do that,’ he says. ‘As a matter of fact, I think you totally deserve it.’

She fake gasps, but starts to laugh. Her hands slide from his sleeve to his own hands, before she entirely let him go. ‘You are so rude, mister.’

He accepts the insult Mia doesn’t mean anyway, while he still thinks about her hands holding his for a second.

‘So,’ she says, pulling him out of his thoughts, ‘tell me this then: are you excited for the game? They are playing against the Clippers tonight.’

‘I don’t know anything about basketball, nor the Bulls, nor the Clippers.’

‘You didn’t do research?’ she asks him. ‘You are so inconsiderate. Do I have to tell you everything?’

He doesn’t quite understand where she’s going at, so he simply scoffs and the two of them go to the stadium. Maybe he is a bit surprised, but she has actual court side tickets. Now, August wasn’t particularly interested into going to a basketball game, but with court side tickets? A lot is made up for. He is practically on the court!

‘This must’ve been pretty expensive,’ he notes.

She smiles as they walk towards their seats. ‘Well, that’s why I couldn’t say no to this special discount. When it comes to money, I know exactly what I’m doing. And it got me two court side tickets. Isn’t it great?’

He has to agree, this is sort of awesome.

He sits down next to her and takes in the entire stadium. The people who arrive, the music, the weird mascot that is kinda freaking him out. He looks to the side, to see Mia trying to shimmy herself out of her coat. He reaches out, to pull the coat off her shoulders and she looks to the side. ‘Thank you, August,’ she says. ‘That’s quite nice of you.’

‘I can be nice,’ he murmurs.

‘I bet you can.’ She nudges his side with her elbow. ‘And? What do you think? Do you like it?’

‘It’s not as terrible as I imagined it would be.’

‘You can just say you like it,’ Mia pushes with a smile. ‘I guarantee: I won’t tell anyone.’

August stares in her large eyes and for a second he gets lost. He wonders about her. About her feelings… What the hell is happening to him?

How does Mia feel about her past, about her career, about him. Part of him wants to be honest with her, tell her about his intentions, because keeping this a secret from her, doesn’t sit right with him. However, telling her the truth, isn’t an option.

‘I might like it,’ August mumbles.

She laughs. ‘You’re learning, very good. I’m proud of you.’

Mia stares at the field, claps whenever something happens and pokes his side every time the Bulls score. He is just still thinking about her saying she’s proud of him.

When was the last time someone said that to him?

However, he can finally manage to pull himself out of his racing thoughts, since there is a man on the fifth row at about two ‘o clock from them, staring at Mia. It’s not the staring per se what’s bothering him; a lot of men were already gawking at her on the way here and also when the two of them walking into the stadium. This is August instinct and training telling him it isn’t right.

As if it’s a new realization of what he came here to do. He is not only here to pull information from Mia about the safe, but also to protect her, he knows that. There is a lot of damaging information in that safe and if it lands in the wrong hands, according to Erica, an entire war could break out, between anyone really. The recent intel on the safe, is that it’s real and if the CIA can find out that Mia is related to it, anyone eventually can.

He looks over to the side, to Mia and he finds himself being insanely protective over her. It would absolutely kill him if something happens to her.

If this happens within a few days of him meeting her, he wonders what will happen when they see each other more often for, well, weeks or something?

August places his arm on the backrest of her seat and she manages to tear her gaze from the field. ‘What on earth are you doing?’ she asks him.

‘There is someone staring at you.’

Mia bursts out in laughter, actually missing the Bulls scoring. ‘And you are marking your territory?’ she asks. ‘Well, August, you might just turn into a dog and start peeing all over me to let everyone know I’m yours.’

He doesn’t want to do it, but a chuckle escapes his lips anyways. Mia really is something else. ‘That is not what I’m doing,’ he tells her.

‘Then what are you doing?’

What is he doing? He tries to figure out an excuse. Normally, he would’ve had one in less than a second, but Mia is slowing him down and that is pretty dangerous, if he thinks about it a bit better. He is slightly nervous around her, which is embarrassing to admit. ‘I just don’t like it,’ he says.

‘The staring or the man who the staring is coming from?’

‘The latter,’ he admits, not being able to look at her anymore. Fuck, this is awkward. He doesn’t want to talk to her about this kind of stuff.

Mia nudges his side with her entire body. ‘Thank you,’ she says. ‘I’d rather you do this to mark your territory to others than the peeing thing. That’s not really my style.’

And if this humiliating moment didn’t just happen, she turns her focus back on the field. August takes a deep breath and actually wants to further explain, however he can’t seem to find the right words. So he looks over to the man, who seems to cut the staring.

◎ ◎ ◎

It’s a fact now: August can’t say no to Mia, he really can’t. After the game, he just wanted to get out of the stadium and go home, but now he finds himself in a fast-food place, finishing up some fries. For someone as dainty as Mia, that girl sure can eat. He is genuinely impressed with her eating that entire burger within ten bites. She has sauce on both corners of her mouth and while he would hate it if it were someone else, he finds it absolutely endearing.

What is this woman doing to his heart? He barely recognizes himself.

‘Anyways,’ Mia says, ‘I really enjoyed the game and I really liked it we had court side tickets. Usually I’m like in the seventh row or even further back or worse: I watch it on tv when they play somewhere else.’ Before he can answer to that, she continues: ‘I also enjoyed your company, even when you were marking your territory.’

‘I wasn’t doing that,’ he huffs.

‘Allow me to poke fun at this,’ she says. ‘August, thank you for keeping me company.’

‘Sure.’

Mia looks at the table, only to frown a second later. ‘Could you be a sweetheart and grab me some napkins, please?’ She holds up her hands. ‘I might need it.’

‘You can leave the might out of the sentence, Mia,’ he says, as he stands up to grab some tissues for her. When he is back at the table again, she already holds out her hands, but he simply grabs one of her wrists, to clean the mess she made.

‘Who are you trying to make jealous now?’ she asks him. ‘Really, if I didn’t know better, I’d almost think we’re on a first date and you are trying to impress me.’

Without thinking he lets go of Mia’s wrists and drops the other napkins on the table. ‘Here you go,’ he says, as his blood is racing to his veins. What the hell is he doing?

‘I didn’t tell you to stop, August,’ she mumbles, when he sits down again. ‘Could you maybe explain something to me?’ She wipes clean her hands and mouth and asks: ‘Why are you like this?’

He scoffs. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

‘Of course you don’t.’ Mia sighs and looks out of the window. She clenches her jaw and she blinks her eyes a little faster. ‘Are you mad at me?’

He is mad, just not mad at Mia. More at himself. However, voicing those thoughts out loud, is something he cannot do. ‘Do we have to talk about our feelings? I barely know you.’

‘Sorry,’ Mia says. ‘You what, never mind. Are you finished?’

August simply nods and the two of them walk out of the noisy place. Mia crosses her arms in front of her and unlike on the way to the stadium, she isn’t talking his ear off and he actually misses hearing her voice.

Did he just hurt her feelings?

When they arrive in the hallway, she simply walks over to her own door. She pulls out her keys and finds the right one to unlock the door.

‘Mia,’ August says and she looks up. He has to make this sorta right. ‘I had fun tonight.’

She nods. ‘Glad to hear.’ And with that, Mia steps into her own apartment and closes the door shut, a little harder than she usually does. He walks up to her door and wants to knock on the surface, but he stops.

He hears her sniffles and the meowing of that scary cat. ‘I’m such an idiot,’ Mia says from the other side of the door. ‘Why did I think he would like being around me? He hurt me again, Bobo.’

And with that, his heart shatters apart in a countless pieces.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #henry cavill x asian ofc #henry cavill x mia makaruku #henry cavill x soccer player #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fandom #august walker #august walker x ofc #august walker x oc #august walker x asian ofc #august walker x mia makaruku #fic: protection

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morceid · 3 years

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Beating the Dead Swan

Chapter 2: lonely angels wrapped in silk

read on ao3

<- chapter one

Summary: Penelope gives the profiles of Camille and other victims like her to the team.

Word Count: 1928

Category: angst

Content Warnings: general criminal minds murder stuff

A/N: noting here that this fic takes place in 2005 when criminal minds starts and spencer is 24

It started out a simple equivocal death investigation. Seven women had been found in their apartments, dead with their wrists slashed. Unfortunately not an unusual occurrence, Detective Conner thought nothing of it. Upon trying to contact the employers of each victim, Conner found they all worked for the same people, and decided to mark them down for further investigation just in case. When the fourth victim was found in her father’s beach house just outside of Virginia, the case became federal and handed to the FBI.

The case, being low priority, was given to Derek Morgan to monitor the progress of.

“You’re completely sure there’s nothing about the bodies that connect these victims?”

“Agent Morgan, if there was anything I would tell you. I think it’s time you tell Detective Conner to rule these deaths a suicide.”

“Alright, will do.” Derek hung up with the coroner. Just then his mobile phone rang with the number of the detective displayed on the top of the screen. Derek sighed.

“Agent Morgan.” He answered.

“Agent, there’s another victim-”

“Conner, listen, they aren’t connected, there is no signature unless you can consider the suicide, I think you oughtta-”

“She was called in by a friend. Not a family member, not an apartment manager, not a coworker, a real friend. Derek, he’s devolving.”

Derek sighed, “Detective, I’ll let you send her body over to the coroner but I doubt there will be anything remarkable.”

There was some mumbling on the other end of the line before Detective Conner gave a response.

“That’s the thing, Agent Morgan, this victim is remarkable. She had piercing holes in her ears just like the others.”

“And how is that remarkable?”

“Her ears weren’t pierced.”

“And you’re sure about that, Detective?”

“Her best friend swears it. Do you think they could be puncture marks?”

“I’m not sure, let me tell Doctor Phyllis.”

Derek set down his mobile phone and dialed the coroner on his office phone.

“Doctor Phyllis?”

“You back again so soon, Agent?”

“Look, we got a new victim, she's got puncture marks on her ears. Not piercings, puncture marks. Can you check the other victims to make sure they’re not puncture marks?”

“Okay, give me a minute.”

Derek heard the sound of doors opening.

“Well, shit, they are puncture marks. On every single ear.”

“Thanks, Doctor Phyllis.”

Derek hung up on the office phone.

“Do I still have you here, Detective?”

“Yep. Were they piercings?”

“Nope. Bring in the girl’s friend and call in the family members of the other victims. We’re gonna need to talk to them.”

Derek hung up the phone and ran up to Hotch’s office.

“Something up, Morgan?” Hotch asked.

“You know that case Detective Conner asked me to look into?”

“The one with the suicides?”

“Yeah, well they might not be suicides. I’m having Conner bring in some people to ask them some questions. You mind if I ask Rossi and Prentiss to help?”

“Of course not, but if we get another case then leave the questioning for Detective Conner, alright?”

“Gotcha, boss.”

Derek gathered Rossi, Prentiss, and Penelope in the break room to discuss the case.

“Babygirl, you want to read out the profiles of our victims?”

“Reluctantly,” Penelope pulled up each of the files onto her laptop. “Danica Wilson, a 45 year old woman, was found by her landlord. She grew up in Victoria, Canada, but when she was 12, her parents got a divorce. Her mother moved her and her three siblings to North Dakota shortly after. All throughout highschool she seemed immensely interested in biology and chemistry. She was really good at it too, she took AP classes and she was a promising student. Unfortunately, her mom didn’t want her to do anything of the sort, and set her up for ballet classes her junior year. To appease her mom she studied the history of dance during college and ended up climbing up from an intern at a dance company all the way to a choreographer. Her love for science was still there the whole way through though, she’s been taking free college courses online for biology for about a year. She was found with her wrists slashed and spread out in a star shape on the middle of her bed. There were no fingerprints anywhere in her home and the slashes appeared to be self inflicted. Her mom died a week before she was found, all of her siblings live in other states, and she didn't have any close friends. She never dated, even though she had perfect brown eyes and blonde hair. According to her siblings she had all of the boys at her school after her. Despite there being no evidence of depression or other mental illness officers deemed her mothers death as a stressor and marked her death a suicide.”

“Then we have Maya Peto, 22 years old, found by her sister.”

“So there’s no age preference?” Rossi asked.

“Precisely,” Penelope continued, “She grew up in Detroit. Her parents raised her in a Christian household and shes been openly gay since she was 18. Her dad died when she was 14, leaving Maya and one sister to be raised by their mother. She did exceptionally well in math, but seemed to have no interest in pursuing it as a career. Instead, she became captain of her dance team in highschool and went to Wirtson’s Dance Academy for college. Her last year there, she was picked by Next Star Theatre Company, the same one as all of the other victims, to be on their ballet team. She was found just like Danica, and would be just like the rest of the victims. Her now ex-girlfriend and her had a kid, his name is Gene, he’s a year old, and Maya had full custody of him because Khloe, the girlfriend, had begun doing drugs about a week after Gene was born. How could lesbians have a child? Khloe was cheating. Maya gained full custody of Gene after a year long legal battle, and she had left him with her sister for a weekend while she baby proofed her house. Unfortunately, when she went to Maya’s apartment to return Gene, she found her dead. It was the anniversary of her father’s death when she was found, so the ever so ignorant officers deemed it another suicide.

“Then we have Annie Carr, 24. A coworker found her. Born here in Virginia, Annie was raised by her dad after her mom died when she was about one. She seemed to have a pretty awesome life. Her dad worked two jobs and she’s never had all that much money, but she was a happy kid. She went to a community college and ended up taking the same internship that Danica Wilson took, but she has stayed in that internship for years, mooching money off of her dad and siblings. Mabel Golden, the coworker that found her, claims that there’s no way Annie could’ve killed herself. She didn’t show any signs of depression or mental illness, though she could be pessimistic at times. Mabel said their boss was threatening to let her go, seeing as she hasn’t improved her work ethic in the last five years. Deemed another suicide.

“The fourth victim was Valentine Orange, 36, found by her father. She grew up in Maryland, started acting and dancing at six, her family was pretty wealthy, and she got accepted into the same dance academy and theatre company as Maya Peto. She also danced on the same ballet team. She told her team leader she was going away for a week to her father’s beach house, and when her father came to get her on the day she was supposed to leave, he found her in the guest bedroom, just like the other victims. The beach house was located in Maryland, and due to Detective Cooper’s hunch, the case got handed to us for an equivocal death investigation.

“Francis Falstaff, our fifth victim, was found by her adoptive mother. She was 22. Both of her parents died in a car crash a month after she was born, so she grew up in a multitude of foster homes. When she was ten her and her sister were adopted by Baron Falstaff and Maggie Falstaff. They seemed to be good parents. They went to all of their school events and paid for both of the girls’ college tuition. Francis was trying to make it into the same theatre company that employed the rest of the victims, specifically to work as a jazz dancer. She seemed to have killed herself, just like the rest of the victims, but her mom insists that she couldn’t have. She had a very promising life ahead of her. When they dissected her room they found an evidence board in the back of her closet. Her sister, Yvette, was stabbed to death a couple years back on the way to a party, and Francis was obsessed with finding the killer. Which is why she didn’t have many friends. When it was all processed, they found that the evidence led to Yvette’s boyfriend at the time. It was assumed that this weighed heavily enough on Francis that she ended up, well you know, on the same day she found out.

“Jane Sweeney, the second to last victim who worked on the Next Star Theatre Company ballet team, was 29. She’s been with the company since she was 20, and unfortunately her private teacher was the one who found her. Her father left when she was young. She liked expressing all of her success, almost narcissistically so. According to some other people on the dance team she was the best dancer and loved flaunting it. She was a kind of queen bee and seemed to value herself more than others most of the time. It just doesn’t make sense for her to kill herself.

“Lillian Bonner was the next victim. She was 54. She taught modern dance at the company. She lived with and was found by her only son, Tyrell, who she had with her husband Ivan. Though they were still legally married, the two were separated. Tyrell, who’s 16, said she was a fantastic mom. She always made sure he was fed and had someone to talk to. He told her practically everything about his life and he is having a really difficult time without her. He doesn’t believe that she would do that to herself.

“Our last victim was Camille Price. She was 25. Her best friend, Spencer Reid, who was on the same ballet team, found her. She was the only one who really had people around her. She grew up in Virginia with her parents and two brothers, one older, one younger. She visited them whenever she could. Everyone in her apartment building loved her, she even made dinner for one of the elderly occupants every Friday. Spencer doubts there is anything that would want to make her commit suicide, and to put the icing on the cake, there were puncture marks on her ears that police mistook for piercings. ‘What were they?’ you ask? Injection sites. How do we know this? Spencer swore that there was no way they could be piercings because Camille never wore earrings the entire 8 years he knew her because the Next Star Theatre Company does not allow their dancers to wear piercings or jewelry.”

“Alright, let’s go see if these people got any info for us.” Rossi got out of his seat and headed towards the interview rooms.

TAGLIST: @hotchrocket @hotpotatowoman @thisdeathtollbringsnopeace @endingsbeginnings @d3pr3ss3d-w33d-wh0re @nonbinary-spencie @moss0ntherocks @scandinavian-punk @drinkingcroissants @penemily @izzyl13 @leomo0n @tiedyedrose1705 @natclis

#moreid #criminal minds #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #original female character #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #tw murder #tw death #tw bruises #emily prentiss #david rossi #penelope garcia #angst #criminal minds angst

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 Review: Still Possesses Turtle Power After All These Years

Cowabunga all you happy people! I freaking love the Teenage Ninja Turtles. I grew up with it from Turtles in Time, which was my first video game, to the 2003 cartoon, which I covered the first three episodes of last month, and on to present day as I re-read the idw comics after finally reading the original eastman and laird run of mirage, and impatiently waiting for Shredder’s Revenge to come out after a LONG drout of no good TMNT games. I”m a fan of these heroes four, their dynamic as a family, the endless possiblities that come from it’s long history and ablitlity to go anywhere in any genre, and the wonderful goofy shit that happens when you have a franchise about mutant turtles learning ninjitsu from a rat and fighting a dude covered in knife covered samurai armor.

So with me finally covering the guys after almost a year last month and with a new movie set to debut at some point this year, I had the bright idea to revisit the FIRST TMNT movie after way too many years of not watching it. This movie is anear and dear to my heart: When I first started getting into the boys big as a kid with the 2003 cartoon, I badly wanted more turtles. But back then it wasn’t nearly as easy to glom onto some more of the sewer shock pizza kings: Streaming sites with all the cartoons on them weren’t all that accesable, dvd’s were expensive for the 87 cartoon, Mirage wasn’t reprinting the comics in any meaningful way and my local comic shop didn’t have any at all and I could only play the SNES when my brother had it set up on occasion like at our Grandma’s farm.

As you probably guessed though there was one exception: the original 1990 movie, which I got at Walmart for 5 bucks and haven’t let go of since. It was one of my first dvds and is still one of my most precious. Said film hit the spot just right as like my beloved 2003 series, it was a mildly goofy but still fucking cool adaptation that stuck closer to the mirage comics, even more than the 2003 series would, while taking a few queues from the 87 series. This film is as precious to me as the 2003 series and a with a brand new movie coming up, I figured it was the exact right time to dig into this classic: what makes it still good to this day, what’s fun to point and laugh at, and how the heck Jim Henson got involved in this. So join me under the cut as I take a look at my boys first theatrical outing and why I still love watching a turtle.

No One Wanted To Make This: Before we get into the film itself some background. As usual I struggled a bit, but thankfully found some help in the form of this Hollywood Reporter article. It’s a fascinating read worth your time, providing an oral history of the film from the people who worked on it.

The film was the baby of Gary Propper, a surfer dude and road manager for the prop comic Gallagher, aka that guy who used to smash watermelons but now has instead opted to smash what little’s left of his career by being a homophobic douchenozzle. He found an ally in Showtime producer Kim Dawson who’d produced Gallagher’s special. I don’t think there will be more of an 80′s sentence than “Gallagher’s surfer dude agent wanted to make a teenage mutant ninja turtles movie”. Propper was a huge fan of the comics, and with Dawson’s help convinced Laird and Eastman to let them option it to studios.

It may come as a shock to you but the road agent for a homophobic watermelon man and a producer at a niche cable channel wanting to make a movie based on an underground comic book about masked turtles at a time when the two most recent comic book movies were Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Howard the Duck, did not go well. Every door in Hollywood got slammed in their face, even Fox> Even the eventual backer of the film, Golden Harvest, a hong kong action film studio, took months to convince to actually back the film.

Things did not get easier from there: The films writer Bobby Herbeck had trouble getting a story agreed on because Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s working relationship had deteroiated horribly from the stress so naturally the two could not agree on a damn thing and argued with each other. Peter Laird made a tense siutation even worse by constnatly sniping at Herbeck and feeling he was a “Hollywood outsider infringing on his vision and characters”

Granted the script was apparently not great... but Pete still comes off as a pretnetious ass who views his weird indie comic as THE HIGHEST OF HIGH CALLINGS HOW DARE YOU SOIL IT. And continued to be kind of a prick like this throughout the rest of his time with the property.

Thankfully the film found i’ts voice, vision and director in Steve Barron. Barron was a music video guy who knew the producers and while reluctant, eventually dove into the project rightfully thinking the film would need to be a mix of the mirage comics and 87 cartoon, keeping aprils’ reporter job, the turtles lvoe of pizza and their iconic color coding from the cartoon but adapting several stories from the comics as the backbone of the film. The guys liked barron MUCH better and things ran smoother.

Barron also brought in one of the film’s biggest selling points and it’s most valuable asset: it’s triumphantly awesome Jim Henson costumes. Barron had worked with good old Jim on the music videos for Labyrinth, and while it took some convincing since the comics were violent as hell and that wasn’t Jim’s style, Barron eventually got him on board. This naturally doubled the budget, but given Henson’s costumes STILL hold up today and look better than the cgi used in the platinum dunes films... it was a good call. And this was brand new tech for jim, having to invent tons of new ideas and mechanisms just to make the things work, and said things still were absolute hell on the actors. Jim later ended up not liking the film for being too violent... which I find hilarious given how many muppets got eaten or blowed up real good on his show but regardless, I thank this legendary and wonderful man as without him this film WOULD NOT have worked. The costumes here look great, feel realistic, and you can’t tell the actors were dubbed much less horribly suffering in those suits. Much like Disney Land.

The film would get picked up for distribution by New Line, and despite i’ts weird as hell origins and the long shot it had.. the film was a MASSIVE hit at the box office, owing to a combination of Batman 89 the previous year having proved comic book movies can work for audiences, the cartoon’s runaway sucess, and a massive marketing campaign. The film made it’s mark. So now we know how we got here let’s get into the film itself.

What’s the Story Morning Glory?:

So the story for this one is largely cobbled together from some of the more notable arcs Eastman and Laird did before handing off the book to others full time as the stress of the company and the mounting tension with each other made it near impossible to work together on the book itself.

To Save time i’m just going through what hte movie takes from the comics plot wise now to save me the trouble later:The movie takes elements from the first issue (The Turtles, Splinter and Shredder’s backstories, Shredder being fully human and the main antagonist, Shredder’s design and the final rooftop showdown that results in Shredder’s death), second and third, (April’s apartment over her dad’s old store and the turtles moving in when their home is ransacked and splinter has gone missing), the rapheal micro series (A tounge in cheek way of cashing in on the Mini-Series craze of the 80s, a one shot by modern standards and something that’s tragically been underused as an idea as only TMNT and MLP have used the idea at IDW, Raph meeting casey and their fight with one another), the return of shredder arc (One of the turtles being ambushed and mobbed by the foot and then thrown though a sky light (Leo in the comic and Raph here), the turtles being horribly outnumbered by them, Casey coming ot the rescue and metting the non-raph turtles for the first time, and them being forced to escape when the place goes up in flames), their exile to northampton (April writing in a journal, casey working on a car with one of the guys and one of hte guys looking over hteir injured brother), and finally, their triumphant return which was very loosely adapted as there are no deformed shredder clones and shredder not being dead yet in this version was not brought back by a colony of super science worms.

So as for how this all comes together: Our story takes place in New York: A crimewave is high with muggings mysterious. There are a ton of phantom thefts going around and at most people have been seeing teens responsibile. And the police.. are at about this level of useful:

The only person doing something is April O’Neil, played by Judith Hoag. Hoag is easily the standout of the film, giving us a strong, confident woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She honestly might be my faviorite April O Neil, and given we’ve had some great ones with 2003, 2012 and Rise, that’s not something I say lightly. I honestly wish I’d recognized her in more stuff as she was both on Nashville and the mom in the Halloween Town films, and most recently was on the ScFy show the magicians. She’s a talented lady and i’m glad she’s still goin.

April is a reporter for Channel 3 like the cartoon, though for some weird reason her boss from the cartoon is replaced by Charles Pennigton, played by Jay Patterson, whose currently dealing with his troubled son Danny, played by Micheal Turney. Pennington is horribly useless at both jobs: At work he tries to ease April off calling out Chief Sterns, who refuses to listen to April’s evidence gathered from japanese immigrants that the crimes resemble similar ones in japan in favor of trying to get charles to shut her up. Danny meanwhile is a member of the foot becase his dad thinks shouting out him and talking about him like he’s not there and generally being a dipstick will actually do anything to help him.

I love the concept for the foot here. In addition to being a Ninja Violence Gang as always, they now recruit new members by finding kids without families or with troubled family lives and giving them a sense of family with the foot, and sweeting the bargin with a giant cave filled with arcade machines, a skate ramp and general late 80′s early 90′s kids goodies. Is it rediculous? Yes. Is it also clever as it gives Shredder an easy army of plausably deniable theives that he can pick the best out of to put in his elite that will be tirelessly loyal to him and him alone? Also yes.

So April being public about this stuff gets her attacked, which naturally leads to our heroes coming in, first in the shadows and later directly when April wont’ give up on the case and Shredder sends some ninjas to go shut her up.. which he does weirdly as the guy jsut slaps her and tells her to cut it out like he’s on a domestically abusive episode of Full House. Raph saves her, and we get the turtles origin.. though weirdly they cut it in half. We get the ooze portion but Splinter’s past with Saki, Saki’s murder of his master and his master’s partern Tang Shen is left for later in the film and the fact Shredder’s saki is treated as a big twist despite the fact the biggest audience for the film would be kids... and kids would’ve been familiar with the cartoon where the giant brain monster routinely screeches out saki at the shredder. Maybe Barron just thought he was an alcoholic I don’t know. It just would’ve made more sense to have it all at once and let the audeince put it together.

April becomes good friends with the turtles over a night of frozen pizza and camradrie, but the Splinters return home to find it ransacked, Splinter kidnapped by the foot, and are forced to Stay with april. Charles meanwhile tries to get April to backoff because he made a deal with the police to clear Danny’s record, without TELLING her any of this mind you, but I will save my rage on that little plot point for in a bit as Danny who he drug along sees the turtles and tells the Shredder.

So we get the return of the shredder arc as Raph goes through a window, our heroes fight valiantly, and Raph’s friend Casey who he met earlier shows up, the two having bonded as all true friends do.. by beating the shit out of each other ending with raph shouting DAMNNNNNNN really big and dramatically into the sky for some reason. The Turtles and friends escape with an injured raph from April’s burning second hand store. She had a second hand store it was poorly established and only there because she had it in the comics.

Our heroes retreat to a farm April’s grandma owned in Northampton, Massachutes, where Mirage was located at the time the original comics where they were exiled to the place were written and a location that has been a staple of the turtles ever since. The turtles slowly recover, lick their wounds, talk about who hooked up with who on gilligans island etc, before Leo connects with Splinter via meditation, who tells them to come back. Splinter also starts to connect with Danny and convinces him to swtich sides.. or at the very least squat in the boys old home.

The boys return home, find danny, and prepare, Danny goes back and ends up giving away the Turtles are home.. but the turtles are ready and in an awesome sequence kick the fuck out of the foot squad sent for them with some well prepared steam vents. Casey goes to get splinter since Danny told them and with Danny’s help, finds him, since Danny found out they were gonna kill him. Casey beats up Tatsu, shredder’s right hand man, and they get him out.

We get our final fight which is awesome up until the climax.. which is splinter casually tripping shredder with nunchucks and thier bloody history being kind of rushed and unsatsifying. Casey crushes shredder with a garbage truck, April gets her job back, more on that in a moment, she and casey hook up, and we end with the fucking awesome song T-U-R-T-L-E Power by partners in cryme. Seriously check it out it’s fucking triumphant.

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The song is just good.. cheesy? Sure but that’s half the fun. It’s the gold standard for movie theme songs for them and stacks up handily with the various animated series themes.. all of which slap. Okay... ALMOST all of which slap. Fast Forwards is aggressively medicore, which is doubly suprising to me since 4kids was REALLY damn good with theme songs. It was one of the three things they were best at along with finding VERY talented voice actors and setting japan based works in america because merica dammit.

The plot is very solid: It skilfully packed half of eastman and laird’s run on TMNT into 90 mintues while adding things like April’s job at channel 9, the way the foot recurited kids etc. The plot flows well for hte most part and apart from one annoying subplot we’ll get to never has a moment that feel unecessary or dosen’t pay off later. And the stellar plot and fun pacing of it helps boilster the characters that do work... and help paper over the ones that are so thin the’yd fall down a grate...

Our Heroes, Villains and Annoying Middle Aged Guys:

Yeahhhh character is hit and miss here. Some are rather strong, others are the bare basics for the character their adapting and most are just to serve the plot but some work some don’t, So let’s talk about it starting with our boys:

Raph is the most fleshed out of the turtles, being the main focus of the first 2/3 of the film, and having his anger be part of what SHOULD be a character arc, learning to temper it. And while granted MOST TMNT properties do this, to the point that Rise Raph is so loveable in part because his boisterous bruiser big bro attitude is a refreshing break from the usual grumpus we get. But at the time this hadn’t been done in every version but the 87 cartoon, so exploring it was valid.. but despite saying this should be a thing htey just forget about it and the most plot relevance he gets is going thorugh a window. He dosen’t really get a resolution.. his arc just kind of stops dead for the final half and it’s one of the film’s weaker points, one I only just now noticed on this rewatch. He’s still the most entertaining.

Leo is the weakest of the turtles. He really lacks a personality here mostly just being leader and while his spirtual side is touched on, it’s mostly a plot device. He’s just kinda the leader because he was in the comics to the point Partners in Cryme called Raph the leader. His role in getting taken out by the foot was taken by Raph, so he just has.. nothing to do for most of the film other than gripe at raph ocasionally and say orders. He’s probably the worst Leo i’ve seen outside of Next Mutation. I prefice that because after watching Phelous’ review it’s VERY clear those four are the worst versions of the characters, and no personality is still better than either having your team do nothing or yelling at them as your personality. I chalk this up to the Mirage Leo, and the mirage turtles to a poit being kind of bland. Not TERRIBLE characters, especially for the time, but not nearly as fleshed out or individualized as they woudl be in other adpatations, and with most traits LEo DID have, like his badassery flat out gone, he’s just.. nothing here.

Mikey and Donnie are a double act here with both sharing a brain. Interestingly instead of his normal genius character, Donnie is Mikey’s best friend and the two simply trade jokes and schtick together. The two are interchangable.. but easily the best part of the film and a lot of the most memorable gags and lines, from Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit! to “Do you like Penicllin on your pizza”, are from them. Thier there almost entirely as comic relief but it works, with both clealry being more modled ont he 87 cartoon turtles, a move that helps lighten the mood in darker moments. Their just genuinely charming and it’s intresting to see such a diffrent version of Donnie, and other incarnations, specifically the 2003 and Rise versions, would retain the sarcastic edge.

Splinter is splinter. That’s about it, he’s peformed well and the puppet is amazing but he gets kidnapped a half an hour in and outside of influcencing Denny, more on that in a moment, and finishing Shredder he dosen’t do much but spout exposition. He’s not bad or anything, but he’s essentially a rodent shaped plot device. He was also puppeted by Kevin CLash, aka the guy who does Elmo. So there you go.

April on the other hand.. is truly excellent. This might be my faviorite April. Judith’s april nicely blends the cartoon and mirage versions: She has the cartoons energy and job, but the comics sheer will and casual nature. Judith just oozes personality and her April is just a joy to watch, from her breezy chemistry filled interactions with the guys to her confrntation with Chief Sterns, knowing she’ll get thrown out by the asshole. She’s confident, and even when afraid dosen’t back down to her attackers and even helps out during the sewer ambush. I mean it’s a pot on the head but still it’s neat. She’s easily the best part of the flim and the most fleshed out of the cast. The worst I can say is they kinda shove her store from the comics, Second Time Around, in there for no other reason than it was in the comics: It dosen’t come up until it’s needed for the foot’s assault on her place. But overall.. she’s just fantastic to watch.

Speaking of fantastic to watch, Elias Koteas is fantastic as Casey. Seriously he’s only second to the 2003 version in my eyes, getting the concept of a testorone filled average guy who decided to just go out and hit people with sports equipment after watching too much A-Team.. I mean that part of it’s not in this version but it’s implied, just right. Like judith, Elias is just really funny to watch and his big scenes, showing up just in time during the foot assault on april’s place and his fight with Tatsu are some of the best parts of the film, the former taken directly from the comics. This version isn’t without problems: His friendship with Raph, his most endearing aspect and one that has been carried throughout eveyr version Casey’s important, with the only exception so far being rise and we have a movie to fix that, is absent here. HE does save the guy, but they don’t really bond or anything. In fact he disappears for about half an hour after his big fight with Raph. But... again he’s just so damn entertaining, down to his JOSEEEEEEEEEEE Conseco bats (There was a two for one sale!).

Shredder is just a LITTLE better than splinter, if only because his actor projects a true aura of menace and I feel this version had some influence on the pants crappingly terrifying 2003 version. And the idea of the foot recurting teenagers like I said is a good one: He gives them home and a cause, they give him plausably deniable backup. And his fight with the boys in the climax is really awesome... the conclusion sucks but otherwise h’es okay. Not the deepest villian, but he has enough presence to be enjoyable.

His right hand man Tatsu, whose been adapted ocasionally since this and reimaigned as Natsu in the IDW comics, a female version, is also fine. He’s your standard grimacing goon but has enough presence to work.

So that brings us to the penningtons. Charles, april’s boss at the station and his son Danny who’s joined the foot as he feels his dad dosen’t love him. Charles..is about as interesting and likeable as a dog turd and is the worst aspect of the film. No debate there, he just sucks. He sucks so hard he’s classified as a black hole. The film wants you to see him as a put upon wokring dad whose frustrated with his son’s increased moodiness, skipping school and crminal undertakings and just wants to help him and loves him deep down. The problem is his actor’s delivery instead of concerned.. is just pissed. He just seems pissy and upset about the whole thing and comes off like he’s only mad about Danny doing this because he’s embarassing him and not because you know, it’s bad. When confronting Danny about stealing, he dosen’t consider MAYBE he’s part of a gang or needs help, but just wonders “Why are you stealing when I give you stuff”. Because, Dipshit, sometimes kids do crimes not because they need the stuff but because they WANT to, and because they want to act the fuck out.

The most he does for the kid is agree to try and get April to back off the police when Cheif Sterns offers to let Danny go and not put him on record in exchange for it. The problem.. is this makes him even MORE unsympathetic. While I do get wanting to help your child, I do and it’s a sucky position... he again should be sympathetic.. but he handles the thing so badly it sucks. He just tells april to ease off, with no reason given, then fires her when she SHOCKINGLY dosen’t give up taking the guy whose refusing to take her hard work seriously or actually solve the crime wave problem to task for his shitty behavior as ANY person facing a shitty, corrput cop would. She just wants to hold him acountable and get him to actually do something. He clearly knows her on a personal level too as he talks about his issues with his son freely with her, something you don’t do with an employee unless their also a friend on some level.

He could have TOLD april what was going on. She’d be furious at Stern’s naked corrpution and prioritizing shutting her up over actually solving crimes.. and thus put at least some of that energy into shutting him down or finding a way around it, going to the papers or something like that. Even in 1990 pre-internet, there were ways to get around Sterns blackmail and expose him so someone who’d actually do the job could get the job. Instead he just comes off as a selfish coward who rather than try and fight the guy blatantly abusing his power and using Charles own son as barganing chip, goes along with it because it’s the easier option to simply bow to him instead of TRY and stop this. And it’s not like he’s even going after a beloved public figure or someone who could hide behind his rep: Sterns was blatantly failing a crime wave, April had called him out on his failrues and coverups multiple times. The public was against sterns.. finding out he tried to blackmail the media into shutting up about him would PROBABLY end him... I only say probably not because the public wouldn’t skewer him, but because police tend to escape consequences for blatantly murdering someone on a daily basis and Andrew Cumo is STILl mayor over in new york, the same city this movie takes place, 31 years later, depsite EVERYONE asking him to resign over a long history of sexual harassment and a more recent but still horrible history of hiding death numbers. I don’t doubt people being stupid enough to ignore this or the bilaws with cops being stacked enough for him to get away with it, but just because someone gets away with a crime dosen’t mean you shoudln’t try and go after them in the first place. Fuck. Charles. Pennington.

Danny on the other hand is FAR more interesting and I think gets way too much flack when it comes to this subplot. Unlike his dad, whose dead weight, Danny is intresting: He provides a POV character for the foot’s MO in the film of taking in wayward teens, and his character arc is pretty engaging, slowly realizing the foot dosen’t care and that hte turtles are the good guys. HIs actor does a great job and while not the biggest presence, he’s not a bad addition to clan hamaoto and I wish other adaptations would find a way to use him. The pull between doing the right thing and his found family is a good struggle. My only real issue with his plot is the moviies flawed aseop about family. It tries to contrast shredder and his using the kids blatnatly with Splinter and Charles really loving their sons. And it works with Splinter and the kids because despite being a tad strict, Splinter clearly loves his sons and works with them to help them. The problem is ENTIRELY with Charles and Danny. As I said Charles love comes off as transasctional: He either thinks he can buy it or just expects it because he shot a bunch of goop into Danny’s mom after two minutes of disapointment. It dosen’t work with them because neither option is good for Danny. His father is neglectful, chooses throwing his jounralistic integrity out the window over talking to his son or his best friend about another way, and abrasive. Danny is no saint, he does do crimes, but it’s clearly a result of a shitty upbringing and the shredder and co actually offeirng him the love he desperatly craves. Danny goes to the foot because his dad is bad at his job but the film never adresses that and just expects Danny to go back to his dad because the plot says so. Danny would HONESTLY be better off with Splinter. No really. Sure he’d have to live in the sewers.. but he did so for a few weeks in the course of the movie. He’s fine down there. Splitner actually cares about him and took an intrest to him and knows how to raise a child. Let him become the fifth turtle. An aseop about family is not a bad thing: Loaded subject that it can be given how many outright abusive families exist, i’m one of the lucky ones who dosen’t have that issue, family is an important thing and can be a source of comfort and support. But this film tells you you should love and respect someone who does not love, respect or value you because he spent a minute in your mom’s vagina and that’s not how family should work and is outright dangerous to kids in an abusive situation. Love the film otherwise but fuck this aseop skyhigh.

Final thoughts:

Overall though.. the film is bodacious. It’s funny, well paced, has an awesome cast, and outside of a certain bald asswipe... it’s a really good superhero film. Is it the best i’ve seen? Nope. Not even close and character wise most of them are as thin as a wet paper bag covered in ranch dressing. But it’s still a fun as hell with awesome corepgraphy, a killer soundtrack, seriously the soundtrack is damn excellent and only didn’t get it’s own section because I didn’t have enough to say and some of the best effects work i’ve seen in a film in the turtle suits. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to check it out: it’s a breezy 90 minutes, it’s on hbo max and it’s a shell of a time. Will I do the next film?

We’ll see how this one does like wise and such, but I will be doing the rise film whenever it comes out this year. So look for that and keep possesing turtle power my dudes. If you liked this review subscirbe for more, join my patreon to keep this blog a chugging, comission a review if you have more turtle stuff you want me to cover, and comment on this. What do you think of the movie, what are your thoughts on the review, what can I do better, what other turtle stuff would you like me to cover/ Let me know and i’ll see you at hte next rainbow.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles 1990 #leonardo #raphael #donetello #michealangelo #casey jones #april o'neil #the shredder #oroku saki #new line cinema #golden harvest #film #90's movies #the 90's #partners in cryme #judith hoag

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princesskokichi · 4 years

Text

Kiibo, Makoto, Hajime, and Shuichi who think they can hide their crush but their ahoge betrays them.

AAAAAAAAAA this is so cute!!! Hope you enjoy!! I’m sorry it took so long. - mod maki

KIIBO: Well... this was different.

Perhaps the professor made a mistake in his code, a glitch or a small error.

Either way, he had NO idea why he felt the way he did when you were around.

At first, he was lost. He felt like he couldn’t move in his own body when he was with you, but as time went on, he gained control back and felt like he could mask these feelings around you.

Or so he thought.

Because there was one thing that everyone could see that he couldn’t. The small piece of metal atop his head. The cursed piece that would curl up into a heart when he saw you.

And you thought it was the cutest thing.

You knew you liked Kiibo for about a week now, but you knew he liked you for a much longer amount of time. You simply thought it was just a little crush he would move on from, and you two would just stay friends. But as you thought about that, you thought of Kiibo’s adorable, curious personality. His captivating robot eyes. His calming laugh.

You liked him too.

Well, you got lucky, cause you knew he liked you back. So, you went into a confession right away.

He was sitting in the library, focused on a book, when you walked up to him. He looked up and saw you, his eyes instantly lit up, and his ahoge curled.

“Hey S/O! How’s your day been today?” he chirped.

“Pretty good! I have something important to ask you though.”

He marked his page and shut the book, “Oh, what is it? Is everything okay?” he questioned, a nervous expression on his face.

“Well, I couldn’t help overhear Rantaro talking to Kokichi earlier, and he said that a little fair is opening up tonight. I wanna go, but I don’t wanna thrid wheel on their date, do you wanna go on our own date?”

Kiibo.jpeg has stopped working! Please return in 15 minutes.

You didn’t know that his pale face could turn that red, but he responded after a bit.

“A-ah sure! That sounds like fun! A date! Wow!” He stuttered out.

“See you at around fiveish?”

“Sure! See you then S/O!”

He brought you a flower when you met up, and if you thought he was red before, that’s in second place now.

You two casually walked around the fair, playing a few games, winning some prizes, riding some rides. You won him one of those big bears, he was so happy.

Then you spotted the Ferris Wheel, and literally nearly took his arm off grabbing it and running over.

You two got on and starting going ‘round. The wheel slowly started to stop and, oh my god, it stopped with you at the top!

You admired the beautiful view of the city around you, not knowing Kiibo was admiring you.

“S/O!” he called

You look at him and saw his face beet red a third time.

“I love you.” he said, immediately hiding behind his bear.

With a smile, you took his hand and said, “I know.”

He was shocked. Not knowing what to do he simply started apologizing.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, please I don’t want this to ruin our friendship! You’re an amazing person, I’m sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable! I don’t know what I was thinking!” He yelped.

You needed to calm him down ASAP. “Kiibo. Kiibo! KIIBO.” you shouted. That last one got him quiet.

“You didn’t let me finish Kiibs! I love you too!”

Once again, he was shocked.

“Yo-you do??!” he exclaimed. “How’d you know I liked you?”

“Your little ahoge! It curls into a little heart when I’m around.”

His hands went to his hair and felt the small heart shape.

“O-oh... I din’t even notice. I thought I was doing a good job hiding it too...”

You laughed. “Well, you don’t have to hide it anymore Kiibs.”

Blushing from the nickname, he finally did what he wanted to do for the past 2 months.

He kissed you.

MAKOTO:

Honestly, out of the three of them, he’d probably be the worst at hiding it.

Because he’s always with you! He loves spending time with you. Hi hair just... betrays him. Nobody knows why it happens, but they all know it only happens around you.

You actually didn’t figure it out yourself, Celeste caved in and told you.

“s/o... there is something I just HAVE to tell you.” She said after lunch one day.

“Oh? What’s up Celeste?”

“I apologize if I ruin the surprise for you, I already have to deal with Mondo and Kiyotaka, but Makoto has taken a certain liking to you.” she said.

You weren’t expecting that. “Huh?? How do you know?”

“Whenever you’re around, that little piece of hair curls up into a little heart. It’s quite adorable actually.”

The more you thought back on it, the more it made sense. Makoto was always smiling so sweetly and blushing profusely whenever you hung out. But you never really thought that he’d like you back. Time to have a talk with him. You texted him to meet him later.

You waited at the designated spot anxiously. What if Celeste was wrong? What if Makoto was just a little shy or something? You quickly knocked that thought out of your head. Celeste’s whole career was based off of reading people’s facial expressions, she can’t be wrong. But isn’t she also called the Queen of Liars? Oh dear...

Makoto arrived shortly afterwards.

“Hey s/o! Sorry I’m late! What’s up?” He said, pointing two finger guns at you.

You couldn’t help but notice the curly heart on top of his head.

“Hey, Celeste told me something, and I wanted to know if it was true or not.”

His face contorted into one of worry. “What’s up?”

“Do you like me?”

It’s almost like you pressed the stutter button.

“Wh-wh-what? No! Th-that’s just crazy I mean wh- h- uhh no way! You’re just my friend!” He sputtered out.

“I like you, Makoto.”

Aaaaaand the off button.

“Really?” He whispered.

“Really. Now do you like me back?” You said with a foreign amount of confidence.

“...Maybe.” He said, twiddling with his thumbs.

You smiled at him. “Then how about we make this hangout our first date?”

Smiling just a bright, he said “That would be awesome, s/o.”

HAJIME:

Gundham and Sonia were going on vacation, and they needed you and your roommate Hajime to watch after the Devas.

“We shall leave for only two nights, but the Dark Devas of Destruction need the highest amount of care to maintain their Earthly form...” Gundham spoke.

“So... in other words, feed them every once and a while?” Hajime asked.

He then got quite the reprimanding from Gundham, at least until Sonia dragged him away, leaving the two of you as the caretakers of the mighty Devas.

“So the sheet they made said that we should feed them once a day, in the evenings, and keep a livestream of classical music playing for them at all times.” You read out.

“What?”

“Hamsters just like classical music I guess, don’t be a hater bro.” You joke, punching his shoulder playfully.

“Hey!” he says, turning away, but you already saw his blush. The little piece of hair on his head curled into a small heart.

“Aww Hajime!! Your ahoge is in the shape of a heart right now! Don’t move, let me get a picture of it!” You shout

“Hey, no!” He protested, straightening it out.

“Come ooooon! You looked so cute!”

“Sh-shut up! I’m going to get the food.” He said with a huff, then left.You decided to set up the livestream. Who knew hamsters liked Mozart?

It was later in the day, and you were still thinking about how cute Hajime looked with his hair curled in a heart. That probably wouldn’t happen again though, you wished you got a picture. You knew Hajime could be a little defensive at times, but you hoped you didn’t hurt his feelings. You always kinda had a crush on him, but you knew you never stood a chance compared to his other friends Nagito and Chiaki. It was only a matter of time before he started dating one of them. Great, now you were sad. Time to go to the kitchen for a quick snack. That’s when you heard talking. It was coming from the living room where the hamsters were. You slowly made your way over there to see Hajime standing by the cage.

“I know you can’t understand me or anything, but it just feels nice to tell someone. I feel like I do a good job hiding it but...” he said. Was he talking to the hamsters? What is he hiding so well?

“Hajime?”

God, you nearly killed the poor guy.

“SHIT- s/o don’t scare me like that.” He shouted.

“Were you talking to the hamsters?”

“No!” he said a little too stubbornly. You noticed his hair curled back into a heart.

“Hajime, what are you hiding? I’m kinda worried about you...”

“I’m not hiding anything! You can go back upstairs. I was just telling the hamsters a little story.” He said. The atmosphere was so tense. You needed to lighten the mood up a little.

“...The little heart’s back!” You said softly.

“Enough about the heart!” he yelled, straightening it out again. Yikes, that didn’t help at all.

“I...I’m sorry s/o I just...” he waved his hand up, “I don’t know. Goodnight.”

And with that he was gone. You wish you hadn’t come down for a snack.

Then you heard a squeak. Then another, and another. The Devas were standing and waving their small paws. You bent down to see them better.

“What’s all this about, you goobers?” You asked in a sing-song voice.

The Devas then made themselves into an arrow shape pointing towards the hallway.

“Huh?” you asked. More squeaking ensued. “Hallway?” No not that. Maga-Z took a stick chew toy and laid it horizontally, then two hamsters got on each side to make a H shape.

“Hajime?” Cheerful squeaks now. The hamsters then moved into a fluffy heart shape.

“Love?” More happy squeaks. Never would you have thought that you’d be trying to communicate with hamsters one day. They then all got up and furiously waved their paws at you.

“Me?” A choir of squeaks. Your mind spun as you put the pieces together.

Hajime loved you.

Is that what he was talking to the Devas about? And the thing he was so good at hiding? Was that why his hair curled up? You thanked the Devas with some treats and headed to Hajime’s room to talk.

You knocked softly on the door and waited for the “Come in.” and opened the door to find Hajime sitting on his bed.

“Hey...” you said after a beat of silence.

“Hey.” he responded. “Look, I’m really really sorry for shouting down there. It was out of line and you were just being playful. I just-” His hair curled up into that perfect heart. “I just really like you, and I don’t know how to act around people I have a crush on.”

So the hamsters were being truthful after all. “I know Hajime.”

“Huh? How? Did you over hear me talking to the hamsters? Oh god that sounded so stupid.” He said, putting his head in his hands.

You laughed at his pain. “The hamsters actually told me, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Really?!” He exclaimed. “That does actually make me feel better.” He got serious again, “So... do you like me back?” he asked nervously.

“I always thought I was out of you league, Hajime. I’ve liked you for a while now.”

He looked at you with big eyes, “Are you serious?”

You giggled, “Yes! And I was very happy when some hamsters told me you did too.”

Both of you sat happily there for a while, until you piped up with a question.

“Can I take that picture of your hair now?”

“Only if I’m kissing you in it.”

SHUICHI:

You were minding your own business when you felt a tiny tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you came face to face with your best friend, Kokichi Ouma.

“Good morning s/o chan!!” he chirped

“Morning Kokichi.”

He frowned. “Hey, at least show some sort of excitement at the sight of me!”

“Why? I hate you.” You responded, smirking.

“Wh-wh... WAAAA!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HATE ME!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEEEEEEEND!” he cried, crocodile tears running down his face.

You chuckled to yourself. You knew it was a joke and that his feelings weren’t actually hurt, but this is what comedy was to you two.

“If I buy you a little treat, would our friendship be salvaged?” You ask.

The crying ceased, “Well... maybe...” He said with a sly smile. “When we got out for lunch today, I have something I need to tell you.” He then skipped, yes, literally skipped away.

“Hey! Just tell me now!!” You shout to no avail, for he shows no signs of stopping, the bastard man.

At twelve, you met him at a local pizza place to chat. You were eager to hear what he had to tell you.

“Soooo... Kokichi...”

“s/o chaaaaaan...” he said

“Tell me!! I’ve been dying to know since this morning!!”

“Ah, the daily drama. I thought you were better than to dive into gossip...”

“I can leave right now and you pay.” You said, crossing your arms in a “I got you.” kinda way.

“Sheesh! Fine I’ll tell you................but are you sure you can believe a liar like me?”

“Kokichi if you don’t tell me I’ll... send Rantaro that video of you falling down the stairs!”

He gasped. “You would NEVER.”

“Oh but I would! At least, if you don’t tell me.”

“Fine! Shuichi has a crush on you.”

Well that was not what you were expecting. At all. You got serious.

“Kokichi if this is a joke, it’s not a funny one.” you said.

“I’m being serious! Do you think I would lie about something like this?” He said just as seriously.

He was right. Kokichi was the only person you trusted with the secret that you liked Shuichi. Although Kokichi loved pranking you, you knew he wouldn’t break your heart as a joke.

“How’d you know?” You ask.

“Oh it’s SO cute, listen to this.” He said “His ahoge curls up into a heart whenever you’re around! I noticed it watching you guys.”

“Wait... you watch us?” you exclaim.

“Well I gotta make sure my bestie has the best!” He says.

“Whatever. So if I tell him I like him...”

“He’ll say he likes you back!”

Looks like you gotta talk to him about this

After lunch, you got a text from Shuichi

dumb bitch named shu: Hey s/o!! Are you free at 3:30 today?

You: yeah, sumthin up??

dumb bitch named shu: I wanted to go to that new froyo place with you!! I heard they have blackberry froyo!! You know that’s my favorite!!!

You smiled to yourself, he’s so adorable. And then would be the perfect time to confess.

You: sounds dope!!!! see ya then dude.

You quickly texted Kokichi

you: BITCH GUESS WHAT

stupid grape lookin ass mfer: WHAT

You: SHUICHI JUST ASKED ME OUT

stupid grape lookin ass mfer: BRO

You: IKR

stupid grape lookin ass mfer: this is the perfect time!!! i’ll be there with rantaro! what time?

You: wait what?? why rantaro?

stupid grape lookin ass mfer: well he’s like shuichi’s best friend and i’m sure he’d be curious to shuichi’s well being! just like me for you!

You: I thought kaito was shuichi’s best friend... is this just an excuse to ask rantaro out?

stupid grape lookin ass mfer:....

You: 3:30, don’t be weird.

stupid grape lookin ass mfer: good luck s/o chan!!!!!!

It was 3:28. You were nervously standing outside of the froyo place when Shuichi gently tapped your shoulder.

“Hey s/o! Sorry if I kept you waiting for too long...” he said. You noticed that his ahoge was curled curled up.

“You didn’t, don’t worry! Let’s go in before the blackberry is all gone!”

As you sat with your cookies n’ creme and Shuichi with his blackberry, you looked around and spotted Kokichi and Rantaro. You would’ve waved, but Kokichi was too busy oogling over Rantaro. So much for looking out.

“Uhh... s/o?” Shuichi timidly asked. “There’s something I wanted to tell you...”

Here it is...

“I really like you...”

So Kokichi was telling the truth. You sat there in silence for a few beats, still somewhat in shock. Shuichi tensed up.

“I-I-I um, knew that I liked you for a while, I just...” he trailed off. Then he started talking. Talking and talking but you didn’t hear a word. You were transfixed on his ahoge. The small heart, how had you not noticed it before? Were you too busy staring at Shuichi’s face? His deep eyes with impeccable eyeliner? His pale skin? His soft lips? He truly was beautiful.

“S/o?” He said, snapping you out of your mind. “Will you go out with me?”

You smiled back at him, “I thought you’d never ask, Shu!”

“What? ReallY? He said, a huge smile appearing on his face.

“Yeah! I knew you liked me, dummy! I was waiting for you to ask me!” You lied, deciding not to tell him Kokichi told on him.

“I- that’s-okay! When can we go on our next date?” He said.

“How about this Saturday at noon? We can go for coffee and pastries!”

“That sounds awesome s/o.”

#danganronpa #danganronpa thh #sdr2 #ndrv3 #kiibo #keebo #makoto naegi #hajime hinata #shuichi saihara #danganronpa imagine #danganronpa imagines #mod maki

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