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cannibalovers · 2 days

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Hannibal song of the day: song no. 13

a bit about the song:

"The Lovers" (2017) is a song by Nine Inch Nails, appearing in the EP "Add Violence". It was written by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, two members of the group. It has a very anxious, almost threatening, but calming sound to it due to the amount of reverb, deep electronic bass, Trent's muffled vocals, and the instrumental which features a sound manipulator, "Luminist Garden", which is supposed to sound like finger-tapping to connote anxiety, inherent in addiciton. It fits alternative genres like alternative electronic rock and experimental. The lyrics of the song began as a poem by Trent, exploring the “inevitability of addiction and seduction” and a possible path his life could have taken if he didn't end up recovering from his drug addiction. The title can also tie to tarot, the 6th card in the major arcana being "The Lovers" - this card represents love, but also two oppositional forces coming together, in balance, as well as in a more personal light, becoming whole as an individual, coming to terms with ones flaws, strenghts, beliefs and accepting one's self. Overall, the songs meaning is about seduction and succumbing to what one shouldn't succumb to, feeling contempt and complete - whatever that may be.

i've never realised just how vulnerable and dark this song is, it took me a while to appreciate its beauty

i've had this song in my playlist since the beginning, not thinking that much of it until i finished the show, especially after the wrath of the lamb. looking back at the lyrics it reminds me of Will SO much its insane. the succumbing and the serenity the protagonist feels, GOD. in my eyes it describes Will's thoughts perfectly.

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Verse 1

"I can hear you breathing I’ve slipped out of time again Leaving all of you behind And I’m free"

The protagonist is losing himself, succumbing to the drug. He is losing his sense of timeas it can often be with substances, leaving everything behind - most likely the reality, people who care for him and normality as he feels enlightened. He even personifies the drug or perhaps the feeling he's experiencing, as he can feel it breathing, growing. It all feels so empowering, yet disturbing.

The opening lines summarise what I personally believe went through Will's head as he layed his head on Hannibal's chest SO well. He can feel him breathing, they're finally so close, all the boundaries have been crossed, it feels so surreal. He left everything behind, his perfectly crafted life, his wife and kid, something he cared for so much, his life as a criminal profiler, everything before that, leaving all of his whole old life behind - He doesn't care anymore and has never felt more alive and free before this.

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"To return to the place where I already am And have always been If I just really looked and allowed myself To see"

The protagonist realises that he has been repressing and ignoring what he now believes is his true purpose, he now believes that this state and feeling are what he was born for, what he was made for. He feels like he's on the "right path" once again.

Will has also been repressing and ignoring. He recognizes his ferocious nature and didn't want to accept it - Yet Hannibal did everything he could to drive him to it, to kill, do what he was made for. They caused so much destruction together around themselves. That's why he separated himself from Hannibal in the first place - they were perfect and the worst for each other simultaneously.

But season 3, the longing for Hannibal has never left him, it only was easier to ignore now that Hannibal was out of the picture - but just one visit, just one look was all it took to change his mind, exactly what Will was afraid of when coming back. He has returned and started to regret leaving, again. He knew that his true purpose was with Hannibal and that he wanted to be with him, he has always been there, longing for it. He couldn't ignore it again. Finally, murdering Dolarhyde together with Hannibal has made him see it and accept it, finally allowing himself to see what Hannibal was trying to show him all these years. No hiding anymore.

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"The confusion is seducing me warm perfect flowing Wide his eyes Summer Hypnotize they see inside of me Hot swollen skin want me take me perfect embrace Black and bloody Rotten and perfect The center has moved on and all that’s left is free Finally Finally Everyone seems to be asleep but me"

These lines are supposed to represent the setting of the song itself - New Orleans, hot summer, the protagonist describing his current state; eyes blown, hypnotised, seen, accepted, sick, rotten. So horrible yet perfect, it felt so right. A paradox. The "everyone seem to be asleep but me" line is also a reoccuring imagery in the "Not The Actual Events" EP and the rest of the "Add Violence" EP, with "I can't seem to wake up" lyrics in "Not Anymore". The repeating theme in my eyes talks about the blindness and subconsciously ignoring a feeling, maybe even an intuition, a bewildered state of mind. The protagonist seems to go between feeling like they are alive and the only one seeing the reality amongst all the blinded people and like they can't wake up, realising something is wrong but cannot pinpoint what is it. Here, they feel on top of the world, like they have gone through an awakening and are the only ones to realise just how free they can be and now, are. The center could refer to stability and morals, now moving on, lost and thrown away.

This summarises the show perfectly, especially Will's side as he now realises and accepts how beautiful this all is, monstrous, sickening, but so very beautiful. A paradox that he is finally willing to accept as it is and relish. The confusion he feels, comforting instead of frightening now,

This sounds like Will's point of view of the whole thing so accurately it drives me INSANE. The confusion he feels, unusually comforting instead of frightening. Catching Hannibal's eyes, so hypnotising and warm as he tries to hold himself up and stagger to him, Hannibal's touch burning his skin so delectably. Finally, he achieved content. The feeling he has been longing to experience for his whole life.

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Chorus

"Take me Into the arms of the lovers Free Take me Into the arms of the lovers"

the progatonist is finally accepting what he now sees as something that cares for him, accepts him for who he is and makes him feel satisfied and at peace, an equivalent of a lover. The embrace representing acceptance and the two opposite forces coming together, back to the possible interpretation from the tarot card "The Lovers".

just Will wanting to cuddle and hug, cmon. but also indeed the embrace both showed his acceptance of Hannibal and himself, as well as accepting how safe and accepted Hannibal made him feel, how content he feels now that he has accepted his nature thanks to Hannibal.

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Verse 2

"Oh I see you floating there How could I ever hope to forget Always rearranging, this is Those words are a lie a mirror reflecting in a mirror of a lie A light shines still always Shadows in every wordBeneath black eaves Please don’t leave me here I could stop it Maybe I could stop it (if I wanted to)But I’m not the one driving anymore I know who I am But I know who I am Right?(Please don't leave me here with them)"

The last verse is very desperate, again admitting to ignoring their past, trying to grow and move away from the addiction but not being able to. Everything felt like a lie, but the truth always comes out - the protagonist loses control to what has been tempting him, realising it yet still trying to convince himself that he is himself, he is his own he let this happen because he wanted it to. The protagonist seems to be constatly on the hunt for connection, anything, anywhere where he won't feel alone. Maybe that's why they succumbed.

For Will, this reminds me of the lingering effect that Hannibal had on him. How could he ever forget what Hannibal did to him, how he changed him? Even he himself said that his life splits into two chapters; "Before you, and after you". Hannibal always haunted him and he couldn't escape him - not like Hannibal would let him. He always found a way to get to Will. But now, Will accepts it, even wants it. He realises just how lonely and dreadful life was without Hannibal, even if he chose to walk away. After all, how do you recover from cutting off someone who has made you feel so accepted and known?

Hannibal's manipulations and acts to try and win Will's heart has made Will feel at a loss of control, constantly messing with Will's sense of identity in season 1, making him question who he is. He tried to regain control, what he made sense of, at least - leaving Hannibal, striving to achieve the normalicy and perfection that he always wanted as he thought that that's what would make him happy and normal, cure whatever he has been longing for, thinking it was just loneliness and a need for someone caring - but Hannibal showed him what it was exactly that he was missing - acceptance and understanding, even of his darkest and most flawed parts. This feeling and realisation he could never forget. He longed and longed, hoping that he could regain this kind of connection he has with Hannibal with someone else, but to no use. He was the only person that he couldn't hide himself from and be fully seen. I think in wrath of the lamb he finally accepted that, and after that, he would never want Hannibal to leave his side or to leave Hannibal, no matter how lost and confused he feels around him. Before the fight with Dolarhyde, Will says that he doesn't think he can save himself anymore, and that might be just fine. Instead of questioning the right and wrong once again, he listens lets Hannibal lead, show him what he wanted to show all along to him instead of stopping him like he did before. Finally accepting what everyone else would see as his "downfall".

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these two make me insane and unwell and this song combined with with them and me being unable to fucking express my views and thoughts cohesively drives me even more insane.

anyway thank u, hope u enjoyed<3

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additional notes:

the pun in the last sentence of v2 was actually not intended i didn't realise that LMAOOOO

ffs i reedited this for like 50 minutes straight and tumblr went oopsies smth went wrong couldnt save. i left it in drafts for a few says thinking maybe i will find motivation and will to reedit it but all i feel is irritability and the urge to delete the post so yall getting the unchecked version sorry WHY ARE U SO DIFFICULT TUMBLR

my playlist post

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dragonflylady77 · 2 years

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Ficlet: Steve can't take it anymore

Chapter 2: I can't let you leave like this

This chapter is for @/Nam_suki420111 on Twitter who provided some very important lines at the end. <3

Ch1 Ch3 You can also find this fic on Ao3

“Where are you going?” Steve asks when he sees Billy head off towards his car.

They had smashed the monsters and saved the world then all ended up at the diner for a post-victory feast, happy to be alive.

Everyone seemed to tolerate—if not begrudgingly accept—that Billy was part of the group now, filling him in about the Upside Down and the events of the previous year, though no one mentioned what had prompted him to join the group. There were looks which Steve did his best to ignore.

Hopper took Max home, after she had a stressful-looking hushed conversation with Billy in a corner of the diner. Steve is curious but doesn't want to pry.

They’re the only two people left in the carpark now.

“Billy?” Steve calls again and this time, Billy stops.

He doesn’t turn around though so Steve covers the distance separating them, noticing the tension in the other teen’s shoulders.

The tremor is so small he’d have missed it if he hadn’t been staring at Billy’s back. He wants to put a hand on Billy’s shoulder but refrains. Despite the kiss earlier and what Billy said after, he’s not sure how well received the gesture would be.

“I’m tired, Harrington. What do you want?” Billy’s head drops and when Steve comes around him, he’s rubbing his face with both hands. It does something inside Steve’s chest.

“You’re not going home, that much is clear, or you’d have taken Max yourself. So where are you gonna go?”

Billy shrugs, his eyes focusing on a point behind Steve. “What’s it to you? I’ll just park somewhere and sleep in my car. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Steve reaches out and puts a hand on Billy’s arm. “That’s not safe. There might still be some Demodogs around.”

Billy snorts. “Safer than my house, princess.”

Steve lets his arm drop and frowns, his exhausted brain trying to piece together little bits of information to form a rather unsavoury picture. “Come to my house then.”

“I doubt your parents would be happy with the likes of me hanging out with the likes of you.”

“Fuck my parents. They’re never home anyway. I haven’t seen them since the summer, they hate the cold.” Steve swallows his bitterness. He’s become used to it but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.

“No parents? Shit, that must be nice.”

“It gets lonely,” Steve tells him truthfully, feeling his cheeks heating up because of the pointed look Billy throws his way.

“Yeah, that’s really not my problem. See ya.” Billy steps around Steve and continues towards his car.

Steve chases after him, his hand slamming the door of the Camaro shut when Billy tries to open it. “No. Billy, I can’t let you leave like this.” He manages not to blink when Billy stares him down, and he’s grateful to the car behind him for holding him up. He’s so fucking tired.

“Let me leave? Who the fuck do you think you are, pretty boy?” Billy grits out.

Steve winces at the anger in Billy’s voice and he gets flustered, trying to find a way to defuse the situation, grasping at straws. He spots Billy’s hands tighten into fists and braces himself, but Billy’s hands don’t leave his sides. Steve takes courage from that.

“Someone who cares if you get eaten!”

Billy laughs and Steve bristles, his confidence taking a hit. He doesn’t move from his spot between Billy and the car though.

“I’m sorry, you care? About me? Right. Whatever. You know what? It’s late, I’m beat after all this monster hunting and world saving and warding off the evil glares of your gaggle of teenagers. So how about I promise to park somewhere safe and to lock all the doors? Will that get you off my back?”

“Billy…”

“Steve.”

“Can’t you just… follow me to my house?” Steve isn’t sure why it’s suddenly so important that Billy come home with him.

“Why would I do that?”

“It’ll be warmer than your car. And I have alcohol.”

“Go on.”

Steve takes a breath and his next words rush out. “And I really think we should talk about what happened earlier. You-you kissed me.”

“You kissed me first, princess!”

Steve sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. “Yeah.” His face gets softer. “Yeah, I did.”

“Gotta say, Harrington, as far as distracting tactics go, you might want to be careful who you use it with though. Other people might not be as understanding and punch you anyway.”

Steve scoffs, then shakes his head, muttering under his breath. “Wasn’t trying to distract you.”

“Okay, Steve, I’ll bite, what were you trying to do?”

“Could we… could we not have that conversation in the middle of a carpark?”

Billy stares at him for so long Steve starts to worry he’d fallen asleep standing up with his eyes open. Finally, Billy blinks slowly, his eyes narrowing on Steve, like he’d made up his mind about something and he offers Steve a brief nod.

“Fine. Lead the way.”

#dfl writes #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #harringrove fanfiction #why fight a guy when you can kiss him instead

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madi2112 · 8 months

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"Affirming Love" day two.

Another flash back to my musician past again today.

I remember the feeling of doing a nights worth of successful sets and being unable to sleep because you're wound up from the experience. Finally drifting off to sleep and then going into energy conservation mode the next day as you face the realization:

You have to bring the same intensity to another performance tonight!

What a wonderfully, exhausting but beautiful feeling.

For me that energy conservation mode doesn't mean not thinking about the show.

On the contrary, I'm mentally replaying the sections where I may have made a mistake so I don't repeat the same thing tonight.

Which I didn't.

The final show went great for me (I didn't miss or stumble on a single line) and it seemed like for everyone else too.

The emotional scenes were tight, the comedy parts extra funny and the high points energetic.

It was an awesome way to go out.

It was also extremely emotional.

More on that next time.

With the last of the introductions made and the final bows taken there was a real sense of pride for everyoneinvolved.

We have a group chat on our phones and shortly after we all went our separate ways pictures began to surface.

All in all it was such a wonderful experience.

But now what.....?

~Madison

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sugurugetofavoritemonkey · 3 years

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Pretty Necklace - Part 2 (Megumi x Reader)

✵ Pairing : Megumi Fushiguro x Female Reader.

✵ Summary : Megumi will protect you no matter what, and when you take care of him after he was hurt, things are getting a bit heated.

✵ Word count : 3.2k

✵ Warnings : smut, dry-humping, cum licking (male and female), fingering, handjob, intimacy (🥺), very little descriptions of harassing (don't worry yall Megumi is here), little descriptions of injuries, Megumi and reader are so soft.

✵ Note : As I said before, this chapter is almost ready since almost a month and I just finished the smut part today!

I never wrote that much so please tell me if this was good🥺

(I wasn't feeling well today and writing for him helped me a little, so thank you Megumi🥺) Maybe I will write more for him...

Chapter 1

ENJOY <3

After what happened a few days ago between you and Megumi, to your surprise, the two of you got even more closer.

From the beginning of the day to the end of this one.

He would walk all the way to your apartment, waiting in the cold while you got ready, his hands pushed down to the bottom of his hoodie’s pockets with his red headphones on his ears.

When you would be finally ready, getting down the stairs one by one, he would scold you for not being quick enough, letting him alone for a too long amount of time, freezing.

But when he saw you, freezing just as much as him, rubbing your own hands against each other to bring them more warmth, his frown would disappear instantly.

Removing his hands from his pockets, he was getting closer to you, taking gently both of your hands between his own, much bigger than yours, making Megumi able to cup your hands perfectly in his.

The second after, he approached his mouth to your palms, blowing on them, effectively offering them so much needed warmth. Exchanging a smile with him, Megumi then spoke to you with his lips still close to your palms. “You should start thinking about buying a pair of gloves, puppy”.

That made you let out a light laugh when you answered quickly “I definitely won’t, if it means I can have my personal heater everyday, everywhere and a pretty one on top of that”.

Blushing for the umpteenth time since you got to meet each other, Megumi starts looking away, but you stopped him in his tracks, bringing a now warm hand to his face, making him look back at you, staring into your kind eyes. Tracing a thin line to his pinkish lips, Megumi closes the gap between the two of you before you could have the time to do it, giving you a messy kiss.

As you separate from each other, Megumi breaks the silence, “You remember I have to go buy some food for the dogs, before we go get lunch right?”, as you nod in agreement, Megumi takes your left hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours while you start walking alongside each other to your destination, his thumb absently brushing lightly against the top of your palm every now and then.

You were currently sitting on a bench, waiting outside for Megumi to come back from the pet store, your headphones in your ears, looking at some random pictures on Pinterest to make the time pass faster.

The air was still pretty cold but luckily your boyfriend had gave you his jacket, insisting on the fact that “I don’t want you to catch a cold, last time you did, you were literally whining all day long and I had to fight with you because you didn't want to take your medicine, not again”.

Okay maybe you were a pain in the ass when sick, but clearly who wasn't?

As you started to get impatient, you carelessly tapped your foot on the ground, hoping that Megumi wouldn't take too long.

As this thought processes in your mind, a group of three men were passing by, just next to you. At first you didn’t pay any attention to them, too focused on your phone and music to even fully raise your head up. But when one of the men lay his hand on top of your shoulder, you were instantly put out of your thoughts, and more importantly, you were feeling really embarrassed.

As you remove one of the earphones out of your ear to hear what the man wanted from you, his two other companions start to get closer to you, almost caging you. And that is at that exact moment that you started to panic.

“Hello pretty lady, you seem alone, maybe you want some company, maybe we could help?”

As the first man, the taller one, finished his sentence, all of the others started to smile, in a way almost disturbing. They were so gross, you thought.

Albeit the fact that your legs were wobbly, you stand up to show you weren’t going to let them harass you in any way possible.

But the fact that they outumbered you was not in the slightest way helping you.

They were bigger than you, stronger and scarier.

But as you felt the hand of the taller man beginning to slide down to your collarbones, you heard a voice, his voice.

“Remove your hand. I won’t ask again”, Megumi’s voice was so composed that the contrast between his words and his tone was almost perturbing. But you knew him oh too well to make the distinction between softness and anger. He was trying as much as possible to stay calm despite the fact that you saw, even with the distance that he was clutching his fists so hard, that his knuckles turned white.

The guy didn’t budge, instead opening his mouth to declare, “And can you tell me what will you do? I could just take her right now and you wouldn’t even mov-”

He didn’t even have the chance to finish his sentence that Megumi had taken a few steps forward and punched the man in the face, surely having enough of his vulgar words.

Even if Megumi was stronger than you and could easily get rid of these guys, the fact that the three of them threw themselves on Megumi at the same time wasn’t going in his favor.

Everything escalated quickly and soon enough the three men were punching Megumi hard, not without the fact that he obviously hit back with as much force, if not more.

As they were all bloody, Megumi succeeded in making them leave, as you got closer to him to support his body, the three guys ran back from where they came from, not without a few insults and threats. Even though Megumi had always been strong, the fight didn’t go well for him either.

His wounds weren’t deep nor bad but all the littles cuts on his face and knuckles could easily get infected, in addition to the hits he received on the head that started to make him feel dizzy.

As you were putting his arm around your shoulder just to stabilize him, he started to puff, “I’m okay, puppy, I swear”.

“No you aren’t Megumi, your nose is starting to bleed, your lip as well, you're gonna come home with me so that I clean your wounds, end of discussion.”

When he touched his lip to find some blood on his fingertips, he knew he wasn’t that well, he hadn’t even felt the cuts before you noticed them.

Maybe it was because Megumi never complained. Never. It didn’t matter how hard he was hurt, he would never talk about it, even to you. Even if he trusted you with his life, he had the habit to always take care of everything himself, not wanting to bother anyone.

Maybe it was because he thought he could handle everything himself.

Honestly, you didn’t like that, you wanted to share everything with your boyfriend, not just the moments of joy, but also every other moment where he needed you, whether it would be your help or comfort. But you knew that maybe, with time, he would open to you entirely. You could trust him about that.

By the time you finally arrived at your apartment, opening your front door and switching on the lights, Megumi’s face was covered in a thin layer of his own blood. You made him sit on the couch while you were heading to your bathroom, to get disinfectant, some bandage and tissues with water.

You tried to put everything in your arms and hands without making anything fall. As you get back to the living room, Megumi’s still waiting for you calmly.

“You don’t have to do this you know… ”, he whispers, to which you reply back.

“I know Gumi, but I want to.”

“It doesn’t even hurt, puppy.”

You don’t believe him at all and as you press your thumb on the cut on his eyebrow, you hear a little hiss of pain slipping from his lips.

“Liar.”

Caught off guard, he had no other choice than to let you help him, for once.

Knowing very well that you won’t let him get away with it this time.

Seeing that he was now more compliant, you put your recipient filled with water on the side of the couch alongside the disinfectant and keep the bandages and tissues in your hands.

To get more comfortable to clean Megumi’s wounds, you sit on his lap, your thighs on each side of his hips.

You drench the tissue into the water besides you and start cleaning his wounds, from top to bottom.

The first one is the cut on his eyebrow, which you think is the deeper one, seeing that most of the blood is coming from there.

Then you move down to his nose, making sure to be extra gentle with the way you remove the dried blood.

You continue with his lower lip, the most delicate area to clean, you don’t even dare wipe the tissue on it, but prefer to just press on it lightly.

And to finish, the back of his hand, you don’t count but it seems that nearly all of the knuckles on his right hand are open, small cuts lingering on them.

You don’t seem to notice, but Megumi took his time admiring you all the while you were taking care of him. His eyes focusing on you and the tender touches that you put on his body. Never in his life did someone take care of him the way you did.

He didn’t even ask for it, but deep down, he knew that he wasn’t regretting any of it. Even when you disinfect his wounds, he doesn’t flinch a inch. Too busy being concentrated on the way your delicate hands take the time to take care of every little cut, even the one who doesn't really need affection.

Too lost in his thoughts he didn’t even feel you putting the sticking plaster on the skin of his nose. It’s your sweet laugh that put him out of his daydream.

“Can you tell me why you're laughing please?”, hearing his tone, you don’t know if he’s amused or upset. You opt for both.

“Nothing, it’s just that I had no idea that the Hello Kitty’s bandage would suit you so well”, you laugh again. Truly it was a sight to behold.

Megumi with a frown and a little Hello Kitty on his nose.

You make a mental note to take a picture of him later.

Thinking about earlier, your tone switches to a more serious one, “Megumi…Why did you do that? I could have defended myself you know, now it’s my fault that-” He cuts you off.

“What they had in mind was bad. And I couldn't just stand there and let them do what they wanted. Never. I know you’re far from weak but I will do everything in my power to protect you. You know that right?”

“I know Megumi”, you spoke tenderly.

After a few few seconds had passed as Megumi and you look into each other’s eyes, both of you being too lost in your daydream to even blink, you closes the gap between his lips and yours, almost pressing a kiss to his lips when you move your head back a little to deny him this pleasure, giggling to yourself.

Megumi looks at you with a raised eyebrow, not finding this as funny as you do. Before you feel Megumi grabbing your jaw to pull you back closer to his lips, you hear him jokingly but annoyingly say : “Rude”.

You don’t have the chance to reply back when his lips cover yours in a comforting warmth. He doesn’t wait to deepen the kiss by putting his injured hand behind your neck, and adding his tongue to the kiss.

As the kiss grows more and more passionate, Megumi and you sharing your own heavy breaths, you can feel his hands trailing down your sides slowly until they reach your hips, grabbing them with force.

Megumi starts to rock your hips on his growing bulge, trying to ease the sexual tension between you and him. When he feels that you start to lack air he removes his lips from yours to kiss at the pulsing vein on your neck, biting you from time to time to leave a reddish mark on your throat, until a few marks are lingering on your skin. Indeed, showing everyone that someone was already by your side.

Megumi wasn’t really the possessive type, but when he remembered some images from the past encounter you had with these gross men, his primal instinct of protecting you had just come back with full force.

His hungry kisses and bites makes you crave even more his body, his touches, and without realizing it, you take the lead in the back and forth movements on his sensitive area, making it throb against your aching cunt, giving more frictions to you and Megumi.

You don’t know how many minutes had passed with you dry-humping each other in this silence apart from the kissing sounds and both of your panting breaths but when you put your forehead against his, you can finally hear him say something under his breath.

“I’m going to cum if you don’t stop right now”.

“Well, is that a bad thing Megumi?”

He laughed at that, “No, not if you come for me first”.

His reply didn’t even surprise you, Megumi was the type of person to always put the people he cared about before him, always.

Even if he needed more love in his life. Megumi clearly deserved this love and far more.

When one of his hands makes its way under your skirt and inside your panties to rub at your swollen clit, you decide to do the same with him. Lowering his jeans a little for him and taking his hard cock out of his boxers.

When you see the feeling of surprise making its way onto the face of your boyfriend, you speak before Megumi has the chance to argue with you.

“We can just cum together hm?”, you smile at him.

And when he reciprocates with his own smile, you know that, for once, he’s letting himself go, just taking his time to enjoy some pleasure with you.

He starts first to insert his fingers in your already drenched pussy, thrusting them with ease at a regular space, not too slow, not too harsh, just building your pleasure as he adds his thumb on your clit, rubbing it just how you like it.

Following him, you tighten your palm around him, pumping him with the same rhythm he has set up for you, and occasionally pressing your thumb on his red tip, smearing the precum on it.

While mutually touching each other, your eyes find those of Megumi, as always. Not an hour would pass without the two of you looking intensely into each other's orbs, this gesture being your own silent “I love you”.

When the pleasure begins to be too much for you, your head previously on his, starts to lower into the crook of his neck, finding comfort in his lavender scent.

While Megumi, on his side, puts his head on your clothed chest, your fast beating heart efficient in giving him the lullaby that he needs.

Your movements and Megumi’s are beginning to turn faster and more erratic as you’re now chasing for your orgasms. His fingers are now hitting all the spots that you need him to and his thumb is pressing harshly on your clit, while your hand slides up and down his now wet member from his own precum, making it easier for you.

With this position, Megumi can directly hear your whines and moans of pleasure beginning to get louder, your mouth being on his shoulder, close to his ear.

As you feel yourself close to your climax, you can hear him mumble into your shirt, “Come with me puppy, please”.

And even though you’re sure that it’s almost impossible for two humans to climax at the same time, you swear that you can feel yourself clutch tightly around his fingers exactly when you feel him cum on top of your still moving hand, almost like a bond linking Megumi and you.

When the two of you have come down from your orgasms, you two wait for your own breaths to come back to normal, in a comforting silence, a little whine or two breaking it when Megumi or you still feel the after wave of the climax.

After a few minutes, Megumi feels your heart calming down and raises his head to look at you, while slowly removing his fingers from you. And you do the same, unclasping your palm from his softening dick, putting it back into his black boxers and removing your head from his shoulder to look at him.

There’s a moment where you’re both looking at your own right hand covered in the other’s cum, and as you look up at the same moment, there’s like a silent agreement, like you understand each other.

As you put your hand up to your lips to lick at the cum drops on your hand, Megumi does the same and licks at the juices on his fingers, all the while not breaking the bond between your gazes.

When you’re both finished, you hear Megumi jokingly say to you, with a raised eyebrow, “Dirty”.

“Hey you did the same, you dork”, you laugh at him.

“True”, he replied back, not without a little blush that only you can notice.

After that, Megumi takes the time to hold you in his warm embrace, ghosting his fingers on your back under your shirt, sometimes pressing little kisses on your nose or in the corner of your mouth.

But when you notice again the Hello Kitty sticking bandage on his nose, you remember that he’s the one that should get some kisses at the moment.

You gently move out of his hug, and when he look at you with a confused expression, you just take his face into your hands, softly kissing the cut on his eyebrow, then the pink bandage on his nose, the next one being his damaged lower lip and finally you take his hand in yours to kiss each and everyone of the cuts on his knuckles, sometimes looking up at him to see his eyes following where your lips try to ease his pain.

When you kiss the last injured finger, Megumi has his brows furrowed in tenderness, asking himself what did he do to deserve such a precious angel.

“I hope I helped them heal faster Gumi”, you smile at him with love.

“If it doesn't work then I don’t know what will, puppy”, he replied to you just before kissing your forehead in a protective way.

#megumi fushiguro scenario #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi x reader #megumi smut #jjk reader #jjk smut #jjk #jjk imagine #megumi imagine #megumi x you #megumi #megumi fluff #megumi scenario #megumi fushiguro imagine #fushiguro x reader #fushiguro smut #jjk scenarios #jjk fluff

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stargazer-sims · 2 years

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44 - Kaji's New Friend (part one)

Kaji is happy.

He's been living with Félix and Davian for two whole weeks now, and he's learned so many new things and had so many new experiences that he's already lost count. But, he’s not really concerned about counting. All he knows is, he feels more comfortable and safe than he's ever felt before in his life, and he doesn't want to stop learning and having fun with his new family.

Today he's excited because he’s going to get to play with some babies. He’s going to meet a possible new friend, too; another polychromatic male. His name is Sri and he's Dr. Zira’s husband, and the babies are their twins, Kadan and Kia. Kaji is looking forward to getting to know them.

When Félix first mentioned the meeting, Kaji hadn’t wanted to do it. He’d been scared that Félix was just going to drop him off with strangers and not come back for a long time. Sixamish strangers, no less, and what if they did something bad to him? The thought of that had made him panic, and it’d taken a lot of cuddling and reassurance and also a small bowl of ice cream to calm him down.

Snuggled next to Félix on the sofa and wrapped in his favourite blanket, his belly comfortably full of ice cream, he listened while Félix explained what would take place. Kaji would come with Félix and Davian to their support group, and Sri and the babies would come with Dr. Zira. While everyone else was in the peer support meeting, Kaji and Sri and the babies would have a special room all to themselves where they could play and talk. Félix wouldn’t be far away, and if Kaji got scared, he’d be able to reach him easily.

Kaji is glad to know Félix will only be down the hall, and that it won’t be anything like the time he went to the mysterious dentist. Kaji had stayed with Félix’s friends Artie and Emma that evening. He’d been worried the whole time because he didn’t really understand why he couldn’t go, since Félix brings him everywhere else. Artie and Emma are nice, and he'd had fun with Artie, drawing pictures and learning how to build things with LEGO bricks, but he was very relieved when Félix finally came to collect him. He doesn't like being apart from Félix, and he's always afraid something terrible will happen if either Félix or Davian isn't nearby to protect him.

Davian says he thinks Kaji has something called separation anxiety, and maybe it's true. He always feels anxious when he and his Earth parents are separated.

But, he doesn't have to worry about that today, because right now they're all together in Félix’s orange car, on the way to the clinic. Davian is driving. Kaji can hardly stay still in the back seat, and he keeps leaning forward so he can talk to Félix.

“Félix, I’m going to tell Dr. Zira that I got dressed all by myself today,” he says. “Do you think she’d like to know that?”

“I’m sure she would,” Félix says.

“And I have to tell her I started using a fork, but I’m not very good at it and I accidentally stabbed my chin, but I really like carrot salad even though I hurt myself eating it. Oh… and I have to tell her that we painted my room! And when I see Artie, I have to tell him that I got a bed with a ladder. He said he used to have one.”

Félix laughs. “You certainly have a lot of news, don't you?"

“I do!” Kaji agrees. “It’s because I like my life now, and a lot of good things are happening to me. Like bubble baths and movie night.”

"We're going to build your bed when we get home from our meeting," Davian tells him. "You can sleep in it tonight."

“Okay,” Kaji says. “You and Félix are still going to tuck me in, right?”

“Right.”

“And Félix has to sing me the star song.”

“Of course,” says Félix. “That’s part of our bedtime routine now.”

“Do you know why I picked a bed with a ladder?” Kaji says.

“Why?” asks Félix.

“So monsters can’t hide under it. Not like the camp bed.”

“Yeah, we’ve had a pretty serious bed monster problem with that one,” says Davian.

“Luckily, you’re good at chasing them away,” Félix says. “Do you think we’ll be able to put Kaji’s new bed together by ourselves?"

"How hard can it be?" Davian inquires. "We assembled the crib by ourselves, didn’t we? Besides, it comes with with instructions, and they’re probably in English. Anyway, I was chatting with Zahir earlier in the week, and he said he'd come over and give us a hand if we can't figure it out."

"Speaking of Zahir, did he happen to say how Dylan is doing? We usually keep in touch, but for the last few days he hasn't been on the group chat and he hasn't replied to any of my texts."

"Yeah, I noticed Dylan hasn't been on the group chat," says Davian. "It's weird, because usually he and Tae are on there constantly.”

“I hope he’s all right.”

“Zahir didn't say anything, but maybe it's something he didn't feel like talking about with me. I mean, it's not like we're best friends or anything. If he was gonna tell anybody about his and Dylan's private stuff, it'd probably be Emma or Sunny. He gives off a serious 'gay best friend' vibe around them."

Félix looks amused. "He does, now that you mention it. Particularly with Emma. It was the fact that Artie didn't seem the slightest bit bothered when Emma and Zahir hugged each other that made me notice it, actually. I don't think you or I would get the same result if we hugged her."

"Because you gotta be legitimately gay to be the gay best friend," says Davian. "If you're a guy who's also into women and nonbinary folks, it doesn't work. Plus, I'd be super jealous if you started hugging other people."

"What about me?" Kaji says. "Félix hugs me all the time, and he hugged Auntie Sophie."

"That's different," says Davian. "He's allowed to hug you and Sophie all he wants. I'm talking about people who aren't members of our family."

Kaji smiles. "I like being a member of your family. You're nicer than my other family."

"We're glad you like being a part of our family," Félix says. "We like having you."

"Yeah," Davian adds. "I wasn't too sure about you at first, but you haven't tried to scramble my brain or anything, so it's all good."

"We can't do that, Davian," Kaji says. "It's just a made-up story from bad Earth films."

"Are you sure?" Davian asks, but Kaji can tell from his tone of voice that he's teasing him, so he's not worried.

"Sometimes I can make you feel what I'm feeling, but I can't feel what you're feeling, and I can't do anything bad to your brain."

"Yeah, I think I've experienced you making me feel what you're feeling," Davian says.

"I only do it when I get really scared," Kaji says. "I always try hard not to, but I don't know how to control it. Adults are supposed to be able to control it, but I think someone has to teach them."

"Maybe that's something Sri will be able to teach you," Félix suggests. "Not today, perhaps, but when the two of you get to know each other a little better, maybe you can ask him to help you."

"Maybe," Kaji says. "Do you think he's going to like me?"

"i don't see why he wouldn't," says Félix. "You're very likeable."

"Your friend Tae doesn't like me."

"I'm not sure why."

Kaji thinks he knows why. It's probably the same reason why most monochromatic males don't like males such as him. They're jealous because polychromatic males are prettier and more valuable than them and that they generally get treated better by females and have more comfortable lives.

But, it's not always true. Of course Kaji knows he's soft and graceful and extraordinarily pretty, and it's understandable that a big, ugly, clumsy male like Tae would be envious of his delicate beauty, but he has also come to realize that being a polychromatic male doesn't always guarantee a life of luxury and protection. Maybe Tae doesn't understand that, though. Perhaps he thinks Kaji is just a lazy, useless ornamental possession of some important female, and he doesn't comprehend why Kaji would choose to run away.

He wonders if Sri will understand. Sri is polychromatic, so maybe he will. Or maybe he'll turn out to be like the vain, empty-headed boys from Kaji's former class at the educational facility, who seemed to think of nothing more than making themselves attractive to rich and powerful females who could give them everything they wanted.

Kaji pokes at his lower lip with one of his pointed front teeth. "Do you think I'll like Sri?" he asks tentatively.

Félix turns slightly in his seat so he can glance back at him. "I can't answer that," he says. "The only way to know is to meet him."

Kaji nods. Of course Félix is right. Some things can't be predicted, only determined by experience. The problem is, not being able to predict exactly what'll happen is scary.

He's quiet on the remainder of the ride. By the time they arrive, he's still excited, but he's also a little nervous. He really wants things to go well. He hopes Sri will become his friend, but more than anything, he wants to be able to trust him like he trusts Félix and Davian.

Unfortunately, he's learned that he needs to be wary of males from his world. Every Sixamish male he’s met on Earth so far has either been someone who didn’t like him or someone he didn’t like because they were rude and mean and wouldn’t help him. On his own world, it had been much the same, and he’s discovered that even males who are nice to him can’t always be trusted.

Aside from his baby brothers and one of the servants, the only Sixamish male he knows who’s never harmed him in some way is his father. He’d tried to protect Kaji, and had only gotten hurt himself when Mother got angry at him for disagreeing with her about giving Kaji to the ambassador.

Kaji tries to convince himself that Sri will be like his father; that he’ll be kind and gentle, and beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. He tells himself Sri must be like that. After all, Felix wouldn't arrange for him to meet someone cruel or dangerous, would he? And he doubts Dr. Zira would bond with someone untrustworthy. Maybe it'll be all right.

He'll have to be careful, but he's still going to try to stay optimistic.

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #willow creek #kaj’izaran #Félix Blanchet #Davian St-Jean #stargazersims #aucieletoile #aucieletoile1

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its-captain-sir · 3 years

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BATTALION BREAKDOWN

Alright y'all, here it is, my breakdown of what I think a GAR battalion SHOULD look like. Full disclaimer before we get into it: I tried to research this stuff on wookiepedia as best I could but 1. there wasn't a ton of information out there on some of the things I had questions about and 2. some of it just makes No Sense when you put it together, so a lot of these numbers were made up by me and what I thought made sense based on what we see in the show and just simple logic. Feel free to accept/ignore parts as you please! Also, I'm gonna try to explain the rationale behind certain things as I go along but if you have any questions about this, you can send an ask/reply/reblog this post with your question and I'll do my best to answer it :)

Now that all that's out of the way, here's all the actual info beneath the cut.

Basic Organization

Essentially, the GAR breaks down into four tiers at this level: battalions, companies, platoons, and squads.

Battalions are the largest groups with 576* members and are all numbered, such as the 501st, 212th, 104th, etc. The only exceptions to the numbering convention are the Rancor Battalion that guards Kamino and the Coruscant Guard. Personally I believe that both of these should be double, if not triple, the size of a regular battalion, which could potentially explain the difference in names. Battalions are led by a clone commander and Jedi general + a padawan commander if the Jedi has one. 4 companies make a battalion.

Companies consist of 144 members and are all named. Using the 501st for example, this would be Torrent, Tide, Wave, and Typhoon. Note: Torrent, Tide, and Wave are canon/widely accepted fanon, but Typhoon is something me and my friends came up with. You're welcome to use the name as the fourth 501st company in your wips if you want! The names don't have to be related, but my guess would be that they often are. Companies are led by a captain.** 4 platoons make a company.

Platoons consist of 36 members and are simply referred to as the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th platoon under their company. Platoons are led by a Lieutenant. 4 squads make a platoon.

Squads consist of 9 members and are named. I don't have names for any 501st squads unfortunately, which is why those spaces are left blank in the picture. As a content creator, you'd have a LOT of freedom when it comes to these because there's so many within a battalion and it seems like they can be named just about anything. Squads are led by a sergeant.

*Numbers for this and subsequent numbers in this section were taken directly from wookiepedia

**One problem people tend to have with this is that Rex is a captain, and yet he seems to be in command of all of the 501st. I think most people have figured this out already but the clone wars writers really just threw names around willy-nilly when it came to all the military stuff. Rex should by all intents and purposes be a commander, and my personal in-universe explanation for this is that while he was skilled enough to go through ARC/command track training, he wasn't originally meant to be a commander and his CT number is what barred him from the title initially. Keeli would be another example of this.

A few comparisons just to illustrate it a bit better:

1 battalion = 4 companies = 16 platoons = 64 squads = 576 members

1 company = 4 platoons = 16 squads = 144 members

1 platoon = 4 squads = 36 members

1 squad = 9 members

Please note that these numbers do not include the officers. There would be 64 sergeants, 16 lieutenants, 4 captains, and a commander added to this number to make a total of 661 clones in any given battalion.

Now I could have just stopped here but I have a tendency to want to get way too specific in my wips so I went a little further:

Internal Battalion Assignments

To make the numbers a bit easier, this just looks at what would be found in one company, you can do the extra math if you want to know the full battalion numbers.

I tried my best to remember what kind of specialized troops showed up in the show since wookiepedia wasn't much help, and I ended up breaking these assignments down into medics, heavy gunners, ARF and tank operators, scouts, tech specialists, and standard infantry.

Medics total 16* within a company, one for each squad. Within the medical corps, they're further broken down into junior medical officers (JMO), medical officers (MO), senior medical officers (SMO), and the chief medical officer of the battalion (CMO). Any internal promotions would probably come from the CMO, maybe a SMO on occasion. When pertaining to medical issues, they do often outrank any other officer, but in combat, JMOs and MOs only hold the rank of private (underneath sergeant) and SMOs and the CMO hold the rank of major (between sergeant and lieutenant).

Heavy gunners total 16 within a company, again one for each squad. These are the clones who have been trained to use the Z-6 rotary blaster, like Hardcase and Hevy.

ARFs and other tank operators total one platoons-worth spread throughout a company, or 36 members. ARF troopers are the ones who drive the AT-RTs (the really bouncy walkers you can see used on Ryloth and Umbara) and other tank operators encompass, well, the operators of all the other ground vehicles we see used. The ratio of each of these seems like it could be fluid based on the needs of the battalion and their mission, so I didn't go too much further into this.

Scouts total two squads-worth spread throughout a company, or 16 members. To me it makes sense that one of the lieutenants within their company would specifically deal with their recon reports, simply because it's more organized and practical.

Tech specialists total one squads-worth spread throughout a company, or 9 members. Honestly this is where I grouped anything else left over, like the bomb squad members we see in the blue shadow virus episode, any slicers, etc.

Standard infantry totals the remaining 49 members in a battalion. They're strictly the fighting force on the ground. This doesn't mean that they're the only ones who do the actual fighting, just that they aren't specifically trained for any other specialization.

*These numbers and the subsequent numbers in this section were not taken from any canon source. They were calculated simply by what I thought would make sense to have.

LAAT/is and Starfighters

Again, I tend to be way too specific in my wips so not only did I go through all of the ground fighting force, but I started figuring out the some of the space forces attached to a battalion as well. This doesn't go into a ton about the Republic Navy because frankly, as soon as I read "7400 crew members on a star destroyer" I exited out of that tab cause that's a little Too Much to try to figure out, but I will cover how I think the gunships and fighter squadrons should work.

LAAT/is (gunships) total 48 per battalion, or 12 per company. However, two per company are usually held in reserve to make sure there's always something available for easy transport to/from the ground. This brings down the number to 40 per battalion, or 10 per company. Gunships take two people to man, so the total number of those pilots for a battalion is 96, or 24 for a company. There's also room for two gunners, which would bring the battalion total to 192, but from what I remember in the show the side guns rarely have someone in them, so I don't think the full 96 LAAT/i gunner positions would be filled. I also think the LAAT/i gunners could be temporarily reassigned from the main star destroyer crew (because 7400 is a LOT, they can spare 96). Wookiepedia said that the gunships could hold 30 troops for transport, but that seems like it'd be really cramped quarters. My guess is that each one would hold somewhere between 14-17 comfortably depending on how many people need transport and how many gunships are in use, which is what I kept in mind to come up with the original number of 48 for a battalion.

The Starfighter Corps consist of 5 separate squadrons, the standard* being two squadrons of Y-wings, one squadron of V-19 Torrents, one squadron of Z-95 Headhunters, and one squadron of ARC-170s. There are 12 in a squadron, plus a squad leader and two usually in reserve, so that's 15 total ships in a squadron and 75 total ships overall. Y-wings require a pilot and a gunner, so the total number of members in a battalion's starfighter corps equals 105. However, I believe some battalions could have up to double** these numbers if they're frequently in space battles, like Anakin and the 501st, or if they have a name that suggests it, like the 327th Star Corps. Squadrons seem to often be named after colors, but that isn't always the case, ie. Shadow Squadron.

*This standard isn't canon, it's just what I believe makes sense based on the number of ships types available and how frequently they are seen used in the show. The Y-wing bombers seem to be used a bit more than the rest, which is why I think there would be two squadrons of them.

**While double the number of ships is certainly possible, I figure it's more common to have three more squadrons instead of the full five so there would be two squadrons of each type of ship.

~~~

That's all I got! Like I said earlier, use whatever you like, ignore the parts you don't, it doesn't really matter to me. This system is definitely what I'm going to follow in my wips if anyone is ever curious about what's going on with those.

Hopefully this is helpful to someone out there! And if you made it this far, thanks for reading! :)

#star wars refs #god this got so long HAJDHSKFHSKFHDK #I really hope all my math is right hsjskdhskfhslfj #i only caught one screw up while typing all this out so I'm pretty sure it's okay #but i apologize in advance if something isn't #ALSO sorry for the shaky lines in the visuals my hands started shaking really bad while making them hskdhskfhskfj #clones #oh look another clone wars post

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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 3 years

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In the end of it all, Monaca Towa was still a child.

To start this off, this isn't my usual Black Butler posts but ive been meaning to talk about Danganronpa for a hot minute, so please bear with me! Second, this is solely my opinion and before anyone wants to attack me please read thoroughly first. Thank you:)

(Spoiler warning for Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 3)

Also, before we dive in I'm going to list some trigger warnings:

Physcological abuse

Physical abuse

Manipulation

P*dophillia

Suicide attempt

Violence (?)

Childhood trauma

Please take care and read at your own risk<3

Hello there Danganronpa fandom! Today I will be talking about Monaca Towa (as stated in the title) and how people often minimize her trauma and sometimes forget the fact that shes still a child who got heavily manipulated by Junko too.

Monaca is seemingly very amiable and caring, because of her charming personality, all of the Warriors of Hope love her and try their best to keep her happy and go along with what she wants. However, it's slowly revealed that she is actually manipulative and cunning behind her friendly facade.

Monoca is a character that is cruel, manipulative, and extremly unhinged. Many of her actions cannot be excused or justified, but you can understand where she's coming from.

Monaca's Backstory:

She was born an unwanted child by both her father and her mother. Monaca's mother was supposed to take care of her but instead abandoned the child soon after her birth. Because of all her actions, Monaca saw her mother as a completely selfish and pathetic person. Monaca's father thought of giving her to an orphanage but instead took her into his family.

However, Monaca was always unwanted and everyone else felt uncomfortable around her. Every time Monaca smiled or joked, the others looked at her coldly, as if she didn't deserve to laugh. Every time she spoke, the others turned silent. His older-half brother thought of her as an alien, not part of the family.

She was also physically abused to the point that she pretended to be seriously wounded for them to stop as a result.

Monaca also attended Hope's Peak Elementary School and was part of the "trouble-makers class" along with Nagisa, Masaru, Jataro, and Kotoko.

Along with her fellow abused classmates, she planned a group suicide; however, Monaca never had any plans to commit suicide in the first place and was planning to let the others die as a prank.

The group suicide was stopped by Junko, who took the kids in and manipulated them by treating them with kindness and love.

Monaca then helped Junko mass produce Monokumas for the Tragedy by using her position as a representative of the Towa Group.

She lied to her father and the other adults in order to produce the Monokumas, telling them that she wanted to create futuristic robots that could be domestic helpers and emergency aid workers.

Due to her separation from the family and her genius, her family decided to give her leg room to do what she wanted as long as she brought in profits to the company, and didn't delve too deeply into her plans.

Things to keep in mind about Monoca's backstory:

She was emotionally and physically abused from a very young age.

She started to pretend to be paraplegic because she was finally treated with some kindness and she could have more control over people.

She convinced Nagisa, Jataro, Kotoko and Masaru to commit suicide.

Out of all the Warriros of Hope, Junko took the most intrest in Monoca due to her position, meaning that she was the one who got used and manipulated the most.

How Monoca's mindset works:

The moment she got physically abused to the point that she had to fake her injuries to make her family feel bad was the moment she learned that through sympathy from others comes power. Due to her families neglection and abuse, she started to quickly pick up on things in which benefited her yet hurt others.

She started to use manipulative tactics on her family to gain control over them. She then started implicating these tactics with the Warriors of Hope.

When Junko got into the picture, everything changed for the worst. Junko was the only person in Monaca's life who showed her affection. Even though deep down Monaca knew Junko only cared for her as a means to use her robotics genius for the Tragedy, Monaca didn't care, and happily helped out Junko with her plans if it meant being loved and appreciated in return. At the heart of it, despite all her horrific acts, that's a very child-like thing to do, right? So when Junko dies, Monaca's entire reason for living basically disappears.

AI Junko via Kurokuma may have planted the idea of a successor in her head, but in Monaca's mind it's a way to get her big sis back, and very specifically chooses to mold Komaru into becoming Junko's successor. That's for a big reason, Monaca doesn't want to become Junko, I'd say she actually just wanted her big sister back who would love and appreciate her again, and hence tried to make someone else take on that role initially. Once again, that's the mindset of a child.

Monaca's relationship with the Warriors of Hope:

The Warriors of Hope are a group of children who are extremely resentful and hateful of adults, regardless of whether or not they were involved in their rough paths.

We all know that the Warriros of Hope are extememly tramutized kids. Masaru had alcoholic parents who physically abused him, Jataro was physcologically abused to the point he bealived he was so ugly that if anyone saw his "repulsive" face they would die, Kotoko was r*ped multiple times by disgusting p*dophilic men (not to mention, Monaca's brother was attracted to her), and last but not least we have Nagisa who had pressuring parents who wanted to raise him as the child prodigy and expirimented on him constantly.

Monaca used the Warriros of Hope's trauma against them, manipulating them to the point were they had to do her bidding completly.

As much as I hate to say it, Monaca truly saw them as pawns. Although there are some instances where she openly declares her care for the Warriors of Hope, it's likely she does that as a form of emotional manipulation.

If anything, she probably did see them as equal in the beginning but then when she started to gain control over her own family, she started to do the same with the Warriors of Hope as a way to protect herself from getting hurt, then again this is my baseless assumption.

Her dynamic with Nagito:

Monaca was amused by Nagito's strange behavior and contradicting beliefs and appeared to be somewhat annoyed with him at the times. However, the two appeared to at least seemingly respect each other in some way, as they treated each other somewhat formally as allies.

Her dynamic with Nagito is one of the most intresting ones. Obviously I think that her being rasied by Nagito was potentially a dangerous thing, considering Nagito's goal was for Monaca to become Enoshima's successor. Monaca seemed to agree with this goal, but Nagito's constant rambling about hope and despair made Monaca bored and feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

She claims he made her an adult in a way, as she grew up in the mental sense and became more cynical and apathetic, not really caring about anything.

In the end, Monaca found Nagito creepy and annoying, but she also appeared to get closer to him during their time together, while originally calling him just "Mister Servant" in UDG, she later refers to him as "Big Bro" in Danganronpa 3. I do think their dynamic was sort of soft and I would've loved to have seen more of it. Honestly the concept of Nagito being a soft brother to Monaca warms my heart, and the wasted potential will forever anger me.

(If any Danganronpa fanfic writer or any writer in general is reading this post: if u could be so kind and do a PLATONIC Nagito and Monaca prompt and tag me in it, I would love you forever!!)

My opinion on Monaca:

I think that Monaca was a very well-written character who deserved more than what she got in the end of Danganronpa 3. She was abused, mistreated and belittled by her family. If anything, I see her as a completely misguided little girl. If she actually had a positive authoritative influence in her life, she wouldn't have turned astray.

A lot of people disregard Monaca's trauma and forget that at the end of the day, Monaca was a child who the moment she was born, the people who were supposed to love her were unwelcoming.

Don't get me wrong though, there is no way in hell I will ever justify or condone the things Monaca has done. If anything, I just think that she alongside the rest of the Warriors of Hope should've been properly taken care of.

Also, if you dislike/hate Monaca thats 100% valid! She did a lot of inexcusable things and its alright to hate on her. I personally love her character but I know she is not everyones cup of tea.

If you read all the way, I'm actually surprised! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed<333

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cult-of-artemis-and-athena · 3 years

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What the fuck is "femininity", anyway? Pt. 2

I was watching a video a few months ago about Evangelical Christians complaining about what they perceived as androgyny - women wearing pants and not having long hair, men not going fishing or wearing beards - and then said something to the effect of "These people are straying from God's design!"

I suppose the Bible does have some parts that can be construed as saying that women should have long hair, men should have short hair, and they should both look different and do different things. However, wearing certain clothes or hairstyles, or doing the majority of tasks don't have a biological component. If men were naturally, biologically, by-God supposed to have short hair, it should grow to be an inch long and stop, right? I've seen some Christians rebut the "only men can wear pants" argument on the basis that the stereotypical Christian man wouldn't like, nor properly fit into a pair of women's pants. I would take that a step further, because I think it's hilarious, and say that if women wearing pants were a 100%, by-God biological impossibility, they would have one leg, or be like nagas or mermaids and it would be physically impossible to make pants for them.

Another example: musical instruments are assigned gender stereotypes for some fucking reason. A friend from middle school said she wanted to play the trumpet, but was given a clarinet because it was a "feminine" instrument. Conversely, I've seen boys who started school band on a flute or clarinet either switch instruments, or quit band altogether. Perhaps small hands make it easier to play the piccolo, and it's less annoying for a strong person to carry around a tuba, upright bass, or bari sax, but there's no reason for the player's genitals to enter the equation. During the 18th century, the acceptability of an instrument for women was based on whether the player had to spread their legs to play it. Pianos, violins/violas, and flutes were allowed, but a cello was indecent. I'm not sure, then, how harps became stereotyped as "feminine instruments" when they're both gigantic and require the player to straddle them...but here I am trying to make sense of nonsense again...

Finally - and this is the big one - there is the downright schizophrenic relationship some male communities have with female attractiveness and things women do, or have done to them, to change how they look in pictures and videos.

I feel I must preface the rest of this point with something: "men" and "women" are not hive minds, and it's important to not strawman half the population based on a conglomeration of the worst representatives you have experienced. If you go outside, in real life, and think about the couples you see, it becomes very obvious that the majority of men you will see are attracted to women who aren't skinny blondes with big boobs/asses and the majority of women you see are attracted to men who aren't 6-/7-figure earners. People who seem to express that they are totally alone and perpetually shit-on by a world of "Chads" and "Staceys" feels like the same type of mindset school kids have, where they obsess over not being included by the popular kids while they're befriended and included just fine by kids they actually have more in common with. It's not a healthy mindset to have, but excusable in school kids because kids are immature by nature and they mostly grow out of it; however, to be an adult and still think like this is a good sign to get help.

I'm talking primarily about the incel community and perhaps some of the groups that this mentality spills into.

A post was going around several years ago and I think the photos were taken from a clickbait which was taken from a makeup artist's portfolio. The MUA might actually have been Goar Avetisyan (https://www.goaronline.com/courses) but the before and after pictures resembled the ones on the link above -- one with absolutely no makeup or hair styling, and then the other with full glam, special occasion makeup and styled hair, a wig, extensions, etc. The way it was presented was "LOOK! HERE'S PROOF W*MEN AREN'T ACTUALLY HOT! WAKE UP SHEEPLE! THEY'RE LYING TO YOU! ILLUMINATI EXPOSED!!!!"

I can see why they're mad, because the dishonesty surrounding makeup, but especially photoshop, plastic surgery, posing, and airbrushing can get toxic. I'm old enough to remember the old-fashioned mindset where women were supposed to hide their "beauty secrets". Don't apply makeup in public, keep your roots touched up so nobody knows they're dyed, and if you have any treatments or surgery always deny having them. Wear your makeup to bed, then wake up early and fix it before your guy sees you.

I couldn't imagine how awful I would feel if I had Instagram or TikTok when I was growing up. I had enough moments of feeling frustrated because I didn't naturally look how other people looked, and I didn't realize that people in TV and movies were wearing makeup, that magazine ads were photoshopped, etc. Just being an extremely average-looking human being with no concept of basic grooming, comparing myself to other kids at school was hard enough without the rapist-run media adding another layer of bullshit.

When I realized the layers of lies, it was like...how long have I been wasting my time and money on this totally made-up problem? How much did I actually improve my life and happiness chasing it? Or, did it actually make me more miserable? How much could I have accomplished if I put the same amount of angst into a different pursuit -- instead of fixing my face, I could have been fixing my art...When it comes to pursuing an unattainable ideal, there is no end to the horror.

So, I suppose, when a group of men (...boys, whatever) realize that "hot women" are a spook, and the the ethereal creature they've been told by society to put on a pedestal is actually not far removed from them, and it shits and farts, it seems very reasonable to feel angry and like you've been taken for a ride by "the system". It can be easy to blame women for this, and hate them. And it's probably easy to get stuck here.

Instead of being perpetually angry, they have to mourn the death of this ethereal spook-woman, and move on with an acceptance of reality as it is. Women, too, have to kill and mourn the spook-woman as part of self-acceptance.

One positive evolution of the makeup fandom is that while the makeup has gotten more intense and elaborate, makeup tutorials have demystified makeup. When tutorials started to become popular, there was a lot of "Excuse my eye-circles, excuse my pimple, excuse my skin, excuse my hair, excuse my lighting, excuse my room, excuse my, excuse my, excuse, excuse, excexcexcexCEXEXEXEXEXEX- *boom*" and thankfully someone eventually came along ($10 says it was a drag queen) and said, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, NOBODY CARES," and eventually the makeup fandom became okay with letting a bare face be a bare face. You wear the makeup, you don't wear the makeup. It doesn't matter. It's just a hobby.

To refer back to my original point, the confusion of makeup (something culturally feminine) with biological femininity has really fucked up both men and women. Everyone is better off extracting the two from one another, and it seems like many people are in the process of doing that. It helps women hate themselves less, and it helps men humanize women and have better relationships.

However, the image of the spook-woman, "10/10 model" is so ingrained in some parts of the culture, as the apex of the vertex of femininity, that despite complaints about how makeup is a lie, discarding that in favor of just a healthy, bare-faced woman feels like embracing post-modernity and a slippery slope to embracing ugliness as beauty. I think the lack of exaggerated femininity that spook-woman makeup provides feels threatening because the woman's face looks more masculine in a purely relative sense. The exaggerated femininity of the spook-woman, as it is for the Evangelical Christians who follow strict gender roles, provides additional separation between the sexes which serves to reassure men who are A) preoccupied with their level of masculinity and B) hyper-aware of their standing toward the bottom of this hierarchy of masculinity. I think the entire hierarchy benefits from them being placated by more separation from women, because if the bottom whatever percent of men are too dissatisfied with their standing, they may start punching upwards or wanting to attack the hierarchy itself. The men at the top don't want that because of the benefits they receive for being at the top.

MGTOW and the incel movement really kicked off after Gamergate, and intensified with subsequent "waves" of feminism. The discontent men direct their frustration at women, but they also direct their frustration at the men not troubled by what women do. There's suddenly a lot of interest in whether you're an alpha, a beta, a gamma, omega, a sigma, a ligma male, etc. and which one is the better type of male to be. There's a lot of hatred for "Chads" and I see a lot of jealousy directed toward men who are married and have families, usually in the form of "She's just gonna divorce you, take half your shit, and then manipulate your kids to hate you. You'll see...you'll realize you should have spent your whole life banging whores."

This all seems like the result of the ol' spending money we don't have to buy things we don't need to impress people we don't like. This is undoubtedly the idealist in me, men and women would be better off to cut each other some slack. We could see one another as fellow tragic, flawed individuals instead of fleshlights and ATMs, escape the Matrix and spit in the faces of our rapist, media elite overlords.

#femininity #performative femininity #mgtow #mass media #makeup #spooks #traditional gender roles #women don't exist #gender roles are a spook #hollywood rapists #jordan peterson #stop putting women on pedestals

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shyrose57 · 3 years

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Brothers anon and ah, its just me than. Links on tumblr break half the time for me sorry bout that!

1: Mostly how it looks in the actual episode but with some changes. Its gaint, even has multiple floors, most rooms have a glass dome roof with iron railings (3-4) lining the bottom of the glass. The hallway typically have windows leading up to the roof, but the roof and both floor are a mix of materials like iron, copper, wood, and even gold. The most complex room is the Council room, which has a a higher roof than the rest, with mostly wood railings that go all the way up and lead to a circle at the top. The Council is the group that leads Mizu, they have 1 leader of every Idol to represent the different opinions of the citizens, with 1 special member that doesnt belong to any Idol, and is instead used to represent the opinions of people who either haven't chosen a idol yet, got kicked out of a idol following, and just to give a unbiased opinion most of the time. They do make most decisions, mostly those relating to topics like construction, farming, money distribution, where people can live, etc. And they also mostly agree on most subjects and don't agure, but they do have massive disagreements on topics and problems like Representation in other Cities/Kingdoms, trading, visitors and immigrants, and sometimes supply missions.

3: Situations like taking care of his siblings (I have decided Benjamin shall have siblings) and friends, and he was also put under extreme stress as a kid in school and family life, but unlike Ranbob, he managed to successfully communicate his struggle and find coping mechanisms. Also when he went off to live by himself for a bit, he was under sudden extreme situations where he had to make split second decision. So he just learned from everything thats happened to him over time.

8: Levi exists purely to make Watson and others go insane. People claimed it was made up because they claimed most events as unrealistic (like Doomsday, Techno escaping a death trial, Pandoras Vault (they believed it impossible for something to be inescapable)). Plus the fact it seemed cruel such young people where faced with such trauma that no sane person would let it happen, and the fact most historical important items couldn't be found, people claiming that they where made up (also cause if the land was that exposed to such devastation, it would've collapsed on itself). No to both of those, by this point their to far away from Dream for him to have a direct meaningful affect on the group, and while the residents of Kelalen know it was Dreams sword, the group does not know. Nope! Mizu came about years after Kelalen was forgotten about and shamed. And Mizu was only made because of the growing number of believers in the SMP history was causing disruptions in both the political sense and educational sense, so it was made to separate the "outcasts". Though Mizu eventually grew as big as most cities, and greatly civilized and advanced, though they where still often "forgotten" about and basically seperate from the Kingdom that set them up and became their own place (though not officially).

They do have a friendship! Its not super close but their definitely friends. Ranbob is definitely a worrier, he heard that two of his friends almost died he immediately goes to them and fuses over them. And when their recovering he doesnt leave their side, infact Benjamin has to drag him away from the two just to get him to eat. And he refuses to sleep unless he's like directly on top of them. Yeah, Cletus challenges Grievous to a parkour challenge over a Delta Basalt, and he happily accepts. They end up giving everyone a heart attack after Cletus slips and almost falls onto a magma block. Jackie plays in soul sand and dumps a handful down Rans shirt, Watson teaches Charles and Isaac how to make gold from gold nuggets and more Piglin culture. When Cletus is cleared to be ok and Jackie stops getting soul sand in areas he didn't even know existed. They all sit in a circle and decide what they should try first, with Ran and Watson watching carefully and preventing them from drinking anything that they recognized as harmful. But other than that they just let the others do whatever.

10: Because he couldn't use it, when Dream was a full human he used to be able to access his powers at his own will. But after his spirit got linked to his mask his power greatly reduced. To the point he relies on others for his powers, more specifically, he needs them to be exposed to him for a certain amount of time (like 2 weeks) until he can use their own essence/spirit to help his powers. When the group of people came after Ranbob left, they stayed for a long time, especially after they took the mask with them. Dream got the power back. Cause it is a "I worked to hard to give this up." Type situation. Ranbob was his first victim and the first person he had control over in decades, he considers Ranbob the puppet he was meant to have and refuses to let him go. Everyone is the nat to him, but specifically Ran. Cause Ran was the only person who survived the murders, so Dream sees him as a kill that was taken from him that he needs to fix. Everyone else to him is nothing more than an annoyance, and he's more than happy to use them as nothing more than a stepping stone to kill once he's done with them.

13: Ran is stronger than everyone else, Jackie is faster than everyone else, and Watson is more acrobatic than everyone else. Sorry can you reword "Is Jackie considered stronger than them aside from shared tactics, or is it the other way around?"? I dont completely understand sorry. Kind of, I'll say. There can only be 3 ranking members, but it can also be 2 Corporals and 1 Sergeant.

14: They where caught off guard, but also knew something must be going on due to the fishermen staying closer to Ranbob than normal. He never got too far, as he isnt very fast and Charles and both Isaac tend to be fast enough to get him. If the episode is really bad bringing him back can lead into physical fights but it rarely gets into that, as it seems like Ranbob really doesn't want to fight them most of the time, and holds himself back.

Well, I hope it’s working for you now, cause that sounds less than ideal, honestly.

1: Well, Mizu sounds gorgeous, quite frankly. As for the council having a member of no idol, what about that? People can get kicked out from an idol group? Why? Do some just never choose an idol? Also, how’s the housing situation there? Are there like, apartments on one of the floors, or something? Why does the council not really agree on outside affairs?

3: Not gonna lie, I’m rather curious. What kind of life did Benjamin lead to be under such heavy stress? Does he relate to Ranbob because of this? And what was he doing when he lived on his own to need to make fast-paced decisions? Also, siblings! What’re his siblings like?

8: He sounds like it.

And hm. There are several things I’ve taken from this.

Do totems no longer exist, if they don’t believe Techno could have survived, or did that particular piece of the story just get left out over time?

Has Pandora’s vault fallen? And why would people find it unbelievable? If it’s the future, shouldn’t they have even more advanced technology than that? Or is it simply the lack of evidence that leads them to disagreeing about it’s existence?

They don’t believe people would have been so cruel to the younger ones? Oof, um. Well, at least that says something about the future, I guess.

Mizu sounds like it has an interesting history in it’s self. How do Ran and Ranbob feel about being in a world that basically shunned the people of what would eventually become their home? Do they ever have issues when people find out they originate from Mizu, or worship an idol? From how you put it, it seems like that wasn’t really looked upon well, since they shunted the people who did it to Mizu.

Friendships for the win! Maybe not close, but it sounds like an interesting dynamic. Charles honestly seems pretty mild, and as you said, shy, so putting him with Mr.Random And Chaotic certainly sounds like something. How did these two become friends?

And honestly, it sounds like everyone had a lot of unique experiences in the Nether. It also sounds like Ran and Ranbob were probably an inch from a heart-attack the entire time, considering the shenanigans ongoing. It sounds kind of cute that Ranbob was only sleeping when he was close to them though, and it gives me the image of a giant fluffy cat, so win-win there.

10: Interesting. Was Ranbob not enough to fully return that power to him when the Fishermen first came and took him? Or did Dream just not think they’d get that far and not react in time, when he still had that power from his puppet?

And, uh, wow. Dream was certainly off his rocker before, but that’s definitely cemented now. Is anyone aware he thinks of Ranbob in such a way? Does Ranbob know? How are everyone’s feelings on that-besides y’know, ‘gonna murder Mr.Mask Man’. How does everyone feel about being considered as ‘nats’?

13: Huh. And yeah, I confused myself rereading that. Basically, is Jackie considered stronger than those two? You said they were mostly on par, because of the shared tactics, so when it comes to cutting those shared tactics out of the picture, does Jackie come out on top?

14: So the gang could tell? If I may ask, what were the tells that gave Ranbob away?

#Brothers AU #dream smp #dream smp au #tales from the smp #ranbob #ran

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roselen-mylady · 4 years

Text

In Another Life

Bucky Barnes x reader ° part ten

Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.

But the pain in their lives were connected.

Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occurred she lost him.

And Bucky never got to meet her.

Though Steve showed no signs of leaving or the anger Y/n had feared, she still felt the anxiety that came from revealing her true past. He was supportive, as he always was and so was everyone else once they were told. Tony only had a mere, 'I knew it' to add to the subject and while Y/n was touched, she couldn't help the array of things she felt.

Foolish was one of them. Hiding her past from them before was stupid but Steve insisted that her going underground was probably best since HYDRA would've searched for her. While that brought her some solace she was still uncomfortable with the idea of becoming more involved. Something always went wrong and Nat was proof.

She missed her friend badly and Y/n couldn't help but feel it was her own cursed luck that had taken Nat. It was ridiculous to think that she could ever be happy. Stupid to think she could help her friends bring back everyone. Stupid to think she might actually meet her soulmate.

"Hey, kid. We're going to put the stones together." Tony cut into Y/n's racing thoughts. Her gaze lifted from the drawing Steve had given her, settling on Tony as he leaned in through the doorway.

She didn't know why she was still looking at the picture or why she had even accepted it. She wanted to believe she was still furious, still resentful. Wanted to force all the pain and guilt she felt into him once more. But in all reality she was just so lost. For years she pretended to be someone else and now that she was free to be the girl she once was, she didn't even remember who that was.

A genius? A hero? A terrified little orphan? She had no idea but she didn't want to be any. She wanted to be Y/n, a friend and a psychiatrist. She now understood why Steve wanted her around. He needed someone to remind him of who he was, who he truly was.

Was James that person once?

Was that why she found herself gazing at the sketch, hoping for a split second that maybe she could go back to the moment that was drawn? Praying to go back to a time where James Barnes was fighting for his past and his own will. A time where he might comfort her like he did Steve over the death of Nat. A time where his thoughts were his own and so we're his actions.

Y/m almost hated herself for despising him. Though she knew there was still much to his story she was too scared to ask, she knew he was nothing more than a tortured soul with a gun. She couldn't figure out how the man in the drawing was the same man who'd nearly killed her.

It wasn't.

Noticing her broken expression, Tony hesitantly stepped into the room coming to sit with her. Her fingers gently held the page and he looked down at it, recognizing the face instantly. It sent a chill through his spine, seeing the same face almost ripped the arc reactor straight from his chest.

It had taken him years to forgive Steve but he still struggled to do the same with the man who murdered his parents in cold blood. All the hatred toward his parents' assassin had gone unresolved since Steve and Bucky left him at that frozen HYDRA base. And once forgiving Steve, Tony had no other outlet and he found it difficult to sit there with the picture.

So he tried to focus on something else.

"So, you and Ms. Romanoff were close?" He mumbled trying poorly to begin consoling her. She nodded numbly, folding the paper and setting it aside.

The emotions she felt were mixed and intense making it hard for her to filter through her feelings but one surfaced more than others. Guilt.

"Ever since the snap." She replied, her shoulders slack. Tony and Nat had their own relationship, one much older than her own but they'd been apart for so long. Ever since Nat went off the grid with Steve and even after the snap when he distanced himself from all of them, they hardly interacted. But they were friends. The type of friends that wouldn't be parted even by death.

"Do you think things would be different if I hadn't showed up?" Y/n asked him suddenly. He looked over at her studying her guilt ridden eyes that she kept trained on the floor. It was a familiar look, one he wore often. But not one he wanted her to.

"Natasha wasn't the type of person to let anyone dictate her choices. I think she was ready to give her life for a cause and none of us could've stopped her." Tony sighed, the weight of her death finally reaching its max. "Not even a couple of geniuses."

•••

"Let's hope this doesn't blow up." Tony mumbled next to her. The small group consisting of them with the addition of Bruce and Rocket stood in the lab, waiting in anticipation as Tony carefully placed the stones in the gauntlet. With his shaking hands it was difficult to be precise while he manipulated the machine but he managed to place all six stones in their respective places. They held their breath unsure if the stones would react or blow up the lab as Tony feared.

"Boom!" Rocket yelled suddenly making all of them flinch. He began to laugh loudly and they all turned to him with annoyed looks. Y/n slapped the back of his head, cutting his laughing short as she walked off trying to ignore the trembling in her legs. Tony muttered something under his breath moving to bring the gauntlet to a more accessible area for the wearer.

"You're an asshole." Y/n groaned. Tony walked past them, putting the gauntlet on a display table that made it hover a couple inches above.

"Come on, it was funny!" Rocket argued, earning an unamused stare from both Tony and Y/n.

It took a few minutes for Bruce to collect everyone but eventually everyone was gathered around the gauntlet. Most had expressions Y/n familiarized with PTSD and once following their gazes she realized their experience with the gauntlet Thanos wore was resurfacing.

Hopefully, with the new one they'd be able to reverse what he'd done. But the trauma would stay. That she knew.

"All right. The glove's ready. Question is, who's gonna snap their fucking fingers?" Rocket questioned, looking up at the group. Their options were limited since most people in the room were only human, even Steve.

"I'll do it." Thor volunteered without hesitation. He drunkenly stepped forward making everyone turn to him with confused and reluctant looks. Their choices were limited but they weren't desperate enough to put such a powerful object on a drunk god.

"Excuse me?" Scott asked, glancing around at the others for one of them to tell Thor what a bad idea it was.

"It's okay." Thor insisted, marching forward with a purpose. Steve moved to stop him with the help of Tony making the poor large man pause.

"No, no, no, whoa. Stop. Stop. Wait a sec. Hey, hey–" Everyone was a mess of refusal and Thor's face turned hurt as he tried to continue.

"Wait, wait, Thor, just wait. We haven't decided who's gonna put that on yet." Steve explained. Thor shifted on his feet, clearly upset with their rejection.

"I'm sorry. What, we're just sitting around waiting for the right opportunity?" He asked,

annoyed. Scott looked to Y/n hoping she might use some of her 'therapist powers' he called them after realizing she really couldn't read minds.

"We should at least discuss it." Y/n tried to reason. Thor shook his head stubbornly, swaying unsteadily on his feet.

"No, no, sitting here staring at that thing is not gonna bring everybody back. I'm the strongest Avenger, okay? So this responsibility falls upon me. It's my duty." He told them, gesturing to the gauntlet then himself.

"It's not about that–" Tony told him gently, coming to stand in front of him as he started to move Thor back. Thor resisted but was unsuccessful as he started to grow emotional. "Hey buddy-" Tony tried again only to be cut short by Thor frantically shushing him and everyone else.

"Stop it! Just let me! Just let me do it. Just let me do something good. Something right." Thor begged, tears filling his eyes. He was desperate to prove he was worthy, to prove he could still be the hero he once was.

"Look– It's not just the fact that that glove is channeling enough energy to light up a continent, I'm telling you, you're in no condition." Tony fought. There was no way they were going to let him hold the fate of the world in his hand while he was drunk. Even the Thor he was years ago shouldn't have held that kind of power, it was too risky.

"What do you– What do you think is coursing through my veins right now?" Thor asked, his eyes studying Tony's for any kind of hope that might tell him they would let him make the sacrifice.

"Cheez Whiz?" Rhodey scoffed, earning a glare from Y/n. Thor looked over at Rhodey pointing a shaky finger at him as he tried not to cry in frustration. He held onto Tony, grasping at his shoulders and prying Tony's attention away from Rhodey's comment.

"Lightning." Thor corrected, looking back to Tony with pleading eyes. Tony nodded but he knew he couldn't allow Thor to wear the gauntlet. "Lightning." Thor repeated, distraught but Tony's reaction.

"Lightning won't help you, pal. It's gotta be me." Bruce announced suddenly. Thor shook his head letting go of Tony. "You saw what those stones did to Thanos. It almost killed him. None of you could survive." Bruce explained.

"How do we know you will?" Steve questioned as Bruce paced over to the gauntlet.

"We don't. But the radiation's mostly gamma. It's like...I was made for this." Bruce mumbled. He gazed intensely at the stones, silently calculating his odds. If the Hulk couldn't handle this, was this really how he was going to die? And if so would it even work?

They looked at each other knowing it was their best chance at bringing them back. They had to take it.

Tony stepped forward, grabbing the gauntlet and handing it to Bruce as they headed to a more secure part of the lab.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Y/n asked Bruce quietly. She knew how Nat's death had affected him and she refused to make the same mistake with him.

"Yes. We have to finish this." He declared. Y/n watched as he paced forward to catch up with Tony as she lagged behind to Steve.

"Do you think this will work?" Steve questioned. Y/n chewed her lip anxiously, focusing her stare at the gauntlet as Steve came to stand beside her.

"Bruce's gamma radiation is stronger and most equipped to handle the energy but it's still dangerous. The stones are too powerful together, I didn't think they were ever really meant to be used together." She sighed, hating the sacrifices that came with saving the world. If they lost someone else just for this to not work was it really even worth trying?

"Bruce is strong." Steve tried to ease her worry but it wasn't enough.

"I know. I just-I can't keep losing people, Steve. It's like a curse. Every time I try to do something good…-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay. You're not gonna lose anyone else. Not on my watch." Steve promised but both of them knew it was practically empty. There was no guarantee. "Let's just bring everyone back."

Y/n tried to smile but like his promise it was hollow. "Yeah, okay."

"Good to go, yeah?" Tony questioned as Bruce carefully held the piece in his large hands. He seemed anxious but who wouldn't be in that situation.

"Let's do it." He confirmed as Y/n and Steve returned to the group. She walked around him, stopping beside Tony and sharing a steady nod.

"You remember–everyone Thanos snapped away five years ago, you're just bringing them back to now, today. Don't change anything from the last five years." Tony told him seriously.

"Got it." Bruce assured. Then suddenly the room grew quiet and a tenseness settled in the air that Y/n was too amazed to catch onto. For the first time she realized she was living the dream of millions of people. Everyone had readied themselves and Y/n watched as they stood there in their superhero uniforms, the power and determination they all had washing over her.

Tony pressed his chest allowing his suit to expand and morph to his body, a shield lighting up before him. His stare then drifted to Y/n who still stood there in her casual clothes, watching them all confused and out of place. Why were they getting ready now? They were doing this here?

"Hey, kiddo. Come on." Tony urged, motioning to her earpiece. She gave a soft 'oh' mimicking him as she pressed the button making her own suit appear. A shield of her own design came to her forearm and Tony eyed it curiously.

"Did you mess with the suit?" He asked, the seriousness in his tone startling her a bit. She shrugged, looking at him defensively.

"Yeah, you said it was just a prototype so I fixed it a bit." She explained. He looked away, grateful she couldn't see the entertained smirk on his lips as he turned back to Bruce.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., do me a favor and activate Barn Door Protocol. Will you?" Tony called. Y/n had gotten used to the suit during the time she could spare to examine it and she put 70% power into the armor, figuring if something did go wrong it probably wouldn't hurt to be a little more protected.

"Yes, boss." F.R.I.D.A.Y replied. Metal doors began to close off the lab as the compound went into lockdown and if the seriousness of the situation hadn't set in yet it definitely did then as Y/n widened her stance to try and brace herself.

"Everybody comes home." Bruce reminded himself, cautiously reaching his hand into the gauntlet. The gauntlet expanded to fit his hand thanks to Tony's nanotech but as soon as it was fully on the power of the stones surged through him. He grunted in pain collapsing to his knees as the energy began to burn into his arm.

"Take it off! Take it off!" Thor cried, waving his hands as Bruce shakily held the gauntlet. Steve stepped forward, keeping anyone from acting.

"No, wait. Bruce, are you okay?" Steve questioned. He knew more than anyone that just because something was painful didn't mean they couldn't do it.

"Talk to me, Banner." Tony called, becoming more concerned with each unresponsive moment. Y/n started moving to help but froze as Bruce looked up at them.

"I'm okay. I'm okay." He insisted. They eased up a little and everyone watched carefully as he tried to regain control of the stones. Thor gave a double thumbs up, watching the scene before him with an astounded expression.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y what are his vitals?" Y/n questioned anxiously. Charts bloomed around Bruce and she quickly read them realizing his heart rate was dangerously high. In fact everything was high, his blood pressure, his respiration rate, even his body temperature had increased. Bruce screamed again, fighting the instinct to remove the gauntlet from the overwhelming pain it caused him as he lined up his fingers.

The world seemed to stop at the echoing of the snap, the fated sound she'd only heard about for five years finally filling her head the same way it had for the others.

He fainted and the gauntlet fell off his arm, clattering on the floor before Clint quickly kicked it away from him.

"Bruce!" Steve called, kneeling beside him as the others rushed forward to check on him. Y/n tugged the remains of his sleeve back gently as Tony kneeled beside her, holding up his hand.

"Don't move him." Tony demanded, applying a coolant spray from his fingertips over Bruce's arm. Bruce groaned, reaching out and grabbing Steve's arm urgently.

"Did it work?" He questioned breathlessly, keeping his large hand tight around Steve's arm. Thor gave him a reassuring smile while Y/n looked over the damage of his arm.

"We're not sure. It's okay." Thor soothed, his voice hopeful as he turned his gaze toward the door where the lab was starting to open up again. Scott walked off to the now open area and some of the others spread out to see what had happened but Y/n stayed at Bruce's side.

"You did great, Bruce." She told him, giving him a smile to which he returned, though it was a bit more pained. A muted vibrating came from the table on the other side of the room and Y/n turned to see Clint walking over to it almost numb.

Did it work?

"Honey? Honey." Clint spoke, his voice quivering in joy as Y/n looked at Tony. They shared a wide eyed glance, both rattled by the idea that they might have actually won.

Y/n wished to look at her wrist, praying that the countdown she had before the snap returned. She couldn't even remember how many days it had read back then but it didn't matter anymore. She just wanted to meet her soulmate. Would he be looking for her?

Were his eyes really blue?

But their victory couldn't last long and Y/n knew that as she followed Bruce's gaze to the skylight above them. There flying menacingly above the compound was the biggest spacecraft she had ever seen and dread instantly set in upon seeing the missile coming their way.

"Look out!" Y/n screamed, trying to warn the others but it was too late. Her helmet quickly came forward along with her shield which she tried desperately to put over Bruce's head, protecting her and him from falling debris. But the roof wasn't the only thing falling apart.

The floor split and some of the group fell into the large hole while Y/n struggled to regain her balance. She quickly looked around her, catching sight of Steve sliding across the floor toward the hole. Using the thrusters, she launched forward, grabbing hold of one of the straps to his uniform and dragging him back toward Tony.

The building was falling down around them and any means of escape were closing off faster than she could find them. Steve managed to climb to his feet again but before either of them could come up with a plan a large piece of the roof fell, striking Y/n down. She cried out falling through the floor to the room below, getting pinned on her stomach under the roofing.

"Y/n!" Steve yelled, peering down into the hole. Y/n gasped, the impact knocking the wind out of her. Tony looked down too, the two men struggling to keep themselves up as they waited anxiously for her to speak.

"Minimal damage to prototype armor." F.R.I.D.A.Y announced making Y/n groan. She slowly lifted herself up using her back to push off the rumble before leaning back on her knees, panting slightly.

"You call that minimal?" She questioned, annoyed. Tony chuckled through the headset, her reply giving him a little relief knowing she was alright.

"The suits can handle more than we can, kid." He explained. Y/n grumbled, climbing to her feet. She didn't care how durable the suit was, she was still very much human inside the metal and every hit the suit felt, she did too.

"Are you okay?" Steve called, leaning closer to the edge of the hole. Tony put a hand on his chest, keeping him from falling in while Y/n slowly climbed to her feet.

"Yeah. I'm fine, Steve." She waved her hand pretending to be nonchalant before coughing from how forcefully her lungs had been emptied. They were about to attempt to go down to her when the floor they were on shifted and Steve fell over, sliding off to another part in the lab.

"Cap!" Tony called, trying to reach out and catch him. Steve called back that he would be alright giving Tony a little assurance as he turned his gaze back to Y/n. "This building is falling apart!" He called down to her.

"What do you want me to do?" She asked, looking around at the floor around her. She had landed in the living room area, one of her favorite places but like the rest of the facility it was falling to ruin.

"Find the stones. We can't risk losing them." Tony instructed. Y/n let out a short sigh, the weight of the task making her stomach turn.

"Is it too late to go home?" She joked. Tony smiled softly unbeknownst to Y/n. The building shook again with another hit and he knew he wouldn't have long to talk to her.

"No." He answered truthfully. If she could find a way out, there would be nothing stopping her. She could easily fly away and forget about this. "But you know what they say. It only takes one fight to make a hero." Tony explained.

Y/n pierced her lips, knowing that she never really intended on leaving. She was all in from the moment Scott had been yelling into the camera and though she'd been doubtful before, she knew this was where she was meant to be.

"Go be Iron Star." Tony chuckled, making her scoff and shake her head. Of course, he had to ruin the moment.

"We really gotta talk about that name!" She called, turning away and running off toward the window to her left. Using the thrusters in the metallic boots she flew forward and smashed through the glass, unsteadily keeping herself in the air outside.

"Just find the stones."

•••

When Bucky had woken up he was right where he'd been in Wakanda. T'Challa ran to him trying very hastily to explain what had happened. They had been gone for five years according to the wizard man they called 'Strange' and now they needed to come fight Thanos again.

While Bucky was usually quick to understand and move on to the next fight, he couldn't help but stop at this news. He'd promised himself that the fight with Thanos was the last time so that he could find his soulmate but he was still fighting. When would it stop?

For a split second he feared maybe his chance at meeting his soulmate had come and gone and he frantically ripped back his right sleeve to look at his wrist.

"3 days?" Sam asked, peeking down at Bucky's arm as T'Challa organized his army. Bucky numbly nodded, his heart racing as he watched the seconds tick away. He was three days away from her.

He had to make it through this time.

No matter what.

•••

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you scan the compound for the stones' energy signature?" Y/n questioned, looking over the wreckage of what was once the Avengers compound. It didn't even look the same, all blown to the foundation with rubble spread around like a battlefield.

"I detect energy levels matching the stones underneath the building in the sewer systems. You should have access through what's left of the first floor." The A.I. answered. Y/n flew over to the nearest opening of the building, using micro lasers to burn a hole into the floor leading down into the sewers.

She jumped down into it, landing as quietly as possible before looking around. It was hard to see much, the only light being the blaring red light of the alarm system but the tunnel appeared empty other than the obvious debris and flooding. She cautiously walked forward watching as her display outlined the surrounding area.

It was eerily silent, the soft trickling of water putting her on edge as she continued down the tunnel, following the power signature of the stones.

"I detect hostiles approaching." F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke suddenly. Y/n watched carefully as her display changed, showing a clearer picture using an x-ray of the surroundings. The stones rapidly approached as did the hostiles and she quickly held up her hands, powering up the repulsors as Clint ran into her vision.

"Shoot 'em!" Clint screamed, narrowly dodging one of the creatures that lined the tunnel. Y/n did what he said, firing at the closest creature before moving onto the next, trying to hold them off long enough for Clint to run past her.

"What the hell are these things?!" She yelled, following after him as they both broke off into a sprint through the water.

"I don't know but I'm tired of this alien shit!" Clint shouted over his shoulder as Y/n glanced back at the creatures, firing again at one that got too close. Clint pulled out one of his arrows, throwing it into one of the pipes next to them before running faster.

Catching onto what he was doing, she picked up speed as well, jumping with him as the arrow exploded taking out most of the creatures. Y/n looked up from the ground, noticing that some of them had started to crawl through the flames making her climb to her feet, grabbing Clint under his arms.

She activated the thrusters and they launched up, faltering a bit since Y/n had barely learned to fly by herself let alone while carrying someone. Clint unsheathed his sword, yelling as he cut through some of the creatures that had climbed up beside them.

Once reaching the top Y/n dropped him to the side before falling herself, tumbling a few feet away. Clint climbed to his knees, holding out his sword as he let out a threatening shout. Thankfully, no other creatures appeared over the edge and he collapsed onto his back next to Y/n.

"Hey." Clint chuckled, nudging Y/n tiredly. "You're an Avenger now." He told her drawing a half-hearted laugh from her. She groaned the pain in her ribs increasing at the action and she put a hand over her side.

"Being an Avenger hurts."

•••

Once going through the portal the wizard had made, Bucky was met with a wasteland. Thanos and Steve watched as others arrived through the portals and while Steve's expression was much more relieved than Thanos', it was clear they were only evening the playing field as Bucky looked toward Thanos' forces.

The Wakandan armies chanted as hundreds of other heroes came through the portals, each ready for the final battle. He walked forward, coming to stand a few feet away from Steve as he studied the enemy across the way. He was determined to finish what they had started five years ago. He wanted to find his soulmate and he wanted this fight to truly be the last.

"Avengers!" Steve called. Bucky held his breath, hoping with everything he had that for all his misfortune over the years, today would end better.

He'd suffered for a lifetime.

Please let this be the last fight.

"Assemble."

Everyone yelled, running forward at Thanos' forces. The fight broke out and Bucky managed to find himself alongside the raccoon he'd encountered last time. They shared brief eye contact and Rocket's eyes flashed with recognition while Bucky tried to ignore him.

"How about now?!" Rocket yelled, motioning to his arm. Bucky glanced over at him, growing annoyed with the talking animal's persistence. What the hell would a raccoon do with his arm?

"No!" Bucky yelled back. He turned, noticing one of the creatures had been sneaking up on Steve while he had his back turned and Bucky quickly shot at it, knocking it down. Steve turned, giving Bucky a grateful and joyous smile. Bucky smiled back making sure to keep aware of the creatures around him.

"What the hell did you get me into, Steve?" Bucky yelled teasingly. His friend gave a short chuckle, using the large hammer to slam back another one of Thanos's creatures.

"Nothing two old men can't handle."

Taglist:

Part eleven

@cancanmarvel

@jessyballet

@eldahae

@mc225g

@kissesofdeadforme

@wantingtobekorra

@sxphiiwrld

@lunaticbarnes

@indecisivedolly

@saiyanprincesswanie

@lextheflexsthings

@silver-winter-wolf

@whatifwedo

@arguedquill1226

@lunashaw57

@loushkspr

@3aileypage

@mela-noche

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ivory-sunflower · 3 years

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Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere.

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless.

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx

29/11/2020

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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WHEN JIKOOK ARE SHADING EACHOTHER:2020 Japan Comback Interview Analysis

WARNING: Full on angst ahead.

If you believe Jikook are holding hands chanting Kumbaya all the time while they walk into a purple sunset this is not for you. Jikook is real. At least to me and as a real relationship they have their fair share of ups and downs.

DISCLAIMER: Everything expressed in here is my thoughts, observations and opinion. It is not meant to offend any of the members involved or anyone else.

A Little Background:

Its my and a few other Jikookers observation that Jikook fight. A lot. They separate or breakup from time to time too. You may or may not have caught these moments as they happen but doesn't mean they don't happen all.

For me, 2018 and 2020 have been the pinnacle of such moments. Jikook are having issues- have been having issues. They are still going through a rough patch unfortunately. But not to be alarmed, they are working through it.

Now I can't say with certainty when such said issues began. I can only speculate. I started noticing some sort of tension between them right before their vacation somewhere between March/August 2019 to date.

I'm talking about their Bon Voyage 4 moments, the tattoo girl scandal, Jimins Paris scandal, Jingle, MMA, Jin's Birthday Vlive moments and all those moments that had us raising our brows.

And when I say started noticing I mean from across the various means they've been communicating with us- across their Weverse posts, Twitter, Vlives, interviews etc

I like to look at all these moments combined to see the bigger picture and not just dwell on individual moments as and when they are presented to us because BigHit do not feed us their moments in real time.

I know what you're thinking and no, Jimin flying all over to South Korea to celebrate Jks birthday wasn't him making a grand gesture for the sake of it. It is my opinion that that was just him extending an olive branch to fix things between them because... More on that later.

To understand the shade I'm referring to you'd have to understand why they are shading eachother to begin with:

Jeon Jungkook. To put it simply, Jeon Jungkook hates not being with Jimin 24/7. HE HATES IT. He hates when Jimin is not with him. When Jimin is not around him. When Jimin is with anybody that is not him. Bless him. He has proven this time and time again with all the times he's cheated to be in the same group as Jimin during Runs. His 'Jimin hyung and I will sleep here' his 'thats the friendship' statements he throws at people when Jimin has a moment with any of the members that remotely resembles anything other than friendship, SateliteJeon, and my personal favorite TeleporterJeon etc

Now I suspect this is just due to his personality as an INTP. He has the tendency to latch on to things that feels falimiliar to him and would fall back to it so he feels safe and anchored. He has latched on to Jimin and uses him as his emotional anchor and safe zone and we thank him for that. Thanks to him we've had all those amazing moments as well as the Jeonlous and now TeleporterJeon moments that only proves to us crazy Jikookers that we aren't that crazy and that Jikook is real. Bless him.

Now Jimin is like that too, don't get it twisted. This man is so deep into Jk he won't even hear anything we say. Call him by his JK. Bless him. Jimin is also very possessive of JK if not more possessive. Its just his slytherin ass does a better Job at hiding it.

The problem is, this differences in their personalities may have likely created a lot of tension and problems in their relationship with each other as well as in the relationship they have with their friends and bandmates.

The difference here being while JK latches onto Jimin because he is an introvert and have anxiety issues and isn't exactly the social type; JM is the very opposite of that.

Jimin is a highly extroverted person and loves to maintain other relationships besides his romantic one and there is nothing wrong with that.

See that face on Tae here? Now that's the face of an angry man right there. Tae literally held his breath when JK came to stand next to him because he was afraid JK was gonna ask him to move so he could stand with Jimin instead like he does with the other members like Hobi and Suga most times. To me, this was him feeling like his little bromance moment with his soulmate was being threatened and intruded on.

EXHIBIT A:

Jimin of course noticed what JK was up to. JK was being territorial. Jimin glanced at Tae through the corner of his eyes and moved to stand behind Tae. Later he tried to cheer Tae up by dancing with him.

We've seen moments time and again where JK has moved to physically block Tae from interacting with Jimin on stage and during fansigning events etc and mind you Tae is Jimin's best friend and soulmate.

This face right here! Thanks for attending my Tedtalk. Have a nice day!

Tae said it not me. It seems JK has the tendency to isolate JM and keep Jimin from his friends most times both on and off camera.

In this video, Tae's expression after he said JK was keeping JM from coming to do the live with him said it all.

Why would Jimin do that? Because I believe Tae had complained to him several times how he feels about JK keeping him all to himself and interfering with their moments most times. Frankly, I'd do same if my friends' partners kept interfering with our girls night.

And also because Jimin likes to reassure people of his love and loyalty when they feel their bond with him is being threatened by someone else. We've seen him do this with JK too a couple of times like when JK saw RM wrap his hand around Jimin during that live and he ducked and later did a heart for him. You know which VLive I'm talking about. Moving on.

Do I need to say anything here? Hobi is JMs roommate and even he complained in this VLive how he was missing JM. So the question is, where the bloody hell had JM been?! Why is everyone he is supposed to be close to missing him? His Bestfriend/soulmate and now his roommate? Fo you see the pattern?

This is not much of a stretch if you think about it because Tae has literally said this to Jimin before when he told him on the live he was missing him and JM had to apologize for that.

Truth is, Jeon Jungkook can be a bit of a bully sometimes when it comes to his position next to Jimin. That's his spot and he won't hesitate to claim it no matter who is in the way.

And for JK, we all know he doesn't interact much with the members off camera. Tae has said once that JK ignores him when they aren't filming which is why when JK was given a secret mission to Ignore Tae, Tae didn't even notice.

Now we all know KBS Gayo is Vmin land and so having JK try to stamp his Jikook stamp on it must have been tough for Tae.

RM has also said how JK doesn't even call him and Jin has said JK barely answers his calls and texts. This is not to say JK is a bad person or hates his other bandmates. He loves them all. He is just an introvert.

Now this is getting longer than intended so I'm going to break this post into two parts.

EXHIBIT B:

But to sum up everything I have been saying and to get to the point of this post, JKs possessiveness over JM for sometime has been taking a toll on JM and the group in general as it has been putting a lot of stress on JMs relationship with others.

To the point, some of the members have even been seen to side eye JK sometimes when he comes around JM and some do try to separate them or put JK in his place, acting like they don't approve of their relationship etc.

Now, I won't name names or point out such moments because it can be a bit controversial and I don't want anyone twisting my words around and calling me names. That would hurt my feelings because I love them all and my intentions are not to be malicious in any way. I'm just pointing out an observation and of course I could be wrong about everything.

I don't know for sure, but it's my belief that Jikook have been advised to spend sometime apart because perhaps people had noticed their codependent tendencies have been reaching exponential heights. It could have been their therapist or their friends or loved ones but since March/August 2019 through late 2019 to date is when I noticed they have been trying to spend time apart.

By this I mean, their vacation apart last year, JM staying with Tae for sometime this year, JM visiting his family in Busan this year, spending time with his friends and JK on the other hand taking much time to himself, picking up new hobbies such as reading, posting on Weverse about how he misses JM which I analyzed in my previous post, JM responding with how he was drinking alone watching the rain;

JK not knowing JM had taken up pop dancing, not knowing JM had taken up boxing- PS: Jikook live together, ride together, do everything together, JM calls Jks Mum Mum etc. They are super close and have proven they know every intimate detail about each other like the food they like, the briefs they wear, how long they shower, when they go to bed, what time they wake up, what song they have on their alarm etc. So when suddenly they don't know certain less intimate detail about eachother it is usually a sign that that information/detail came to exist at a time they were separated and weren't filling eachother in on what they've been up to when they are temporarily apart. Like during the recent Jikook Vlive when Jimin was surprised JK had eaten Gimbap. He seemed really shocked by that information and I wonder why. *smirk

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook analysis #jikooktheories #jikook #kookmin analysis #kookmintheories #kookmin #jungkook angst #bts angst #vmin #jikook fights #kookmin fights #nightswithkookmin #teatime #bts #bts jungkook #bts jimin #bts fluff

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bittersweetsongbirdsworld · 4 years

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Jimin thought Yoongi only had a closet full of witchy things, like outfits, books, and maybe even witchy potions. He didn't expect Yoongi to shove everyone into his closet, close the door behind them, then shove clothes aside to reveal a door. Jimin was always in that closet, grabbing sweaters that belonged to Yoongi so he could feel comfortable while his meister was gone on missions with Lord Death. Not once has he seen that door before, so it wasn't a surprise that he was just as shocked as everyone else in the closet. With a chuckle, Yoongi reached over, wrapped his fingers around the door knob before pushing open the door.

The place was huge with a large workstation on the first floor, the second floor being a loft. The first floor was full of plants, a large floor to ceiling window showing nothing but deep forest, a blue lake to the left, a small clearing to the right. It looked to be a cottage in the woods, a small set up outside with a table and chairs out in the clearing. Fairy lights strung high in the trees and a fire pit dead center in the clearing, it looked to be a cozy place, especially if there was only one person living there.

Tens to hundreds of plants crowded the small cottage, many plants hanging from the ceiling, their deep green leaves nearly touching the wooden floor. Potted plants sat in the windowsill, cactuses and succulents crowding most to all of the windowsills in the cottage. Even the work table Yoongi had hidden in the corner was surrounded by large potted plants, smaller potted plants crowding ninety percent of the table. Small trees sat in corners of the cottage, the sun rays leaking through dusty windows, the late evening light shining gold on the plants in the room.

There were countless bookshelves in the cottage, the shelves packed full with what seemed to be spell books that Yoongi had either written himself or bought from his fellow witches. They ranged from pastel yellows, pinks, blues to dark emeralds, browns, greys, and blacks, a soft pastel yellow one grabbing Jimin's attention almost immediately. There was a book on the crowded workbench, a long forgotten ink and quill by the open pages of the book. It seems like Yoongi was interrupted mid dip because there were drips of black ink on the white pages, the quill resting on top of the blank white page.

There was a small kitchen as well, the living room and kitchen nearly sharing a room if it wasn't for the wall between the two. The bathroom was off to the side, the tiled walls and floors shining bright, not a smudge in sight. The place was clean, very clean to be exact. Yoongi was messy when it came to anything with the kitchen, forgotten food left on the counter, leaving Jimin to put it away so it wouldn't spoil. But this cottage though, it was spotless. Things were places they should be, counters cleaned off and scrubbed clean, floors swept and mopped to a shining finish, walls clear of any stains with pictures hanging up all along the long walls.

Don't even get Jimin started on the loft upstairs now, he doesn't even have the words to describe it. The walls came to a slant, the ceiling coming to a point at the very top, leaving the room to look triangle in shape. It was comfortable, the space big enough for twenty people, so it left the group of eight to feel extra cozy once they climbed the stairs up. Two pieces of large cloth took up one wall, the right wall to be exact. They looked to be tarot cards, but black and white. One read 'The Moon' and the other read 'The Star'. It honestly looked like Yoongi just liked the design of the two and got them for decoration, nothing else.

There was a large rug that took up most of the floor, the white and black rug covered with books scattered about, pillows piled up against the wall and some placed carefully in the center of the room. There were three windows, all shaped like triangles, green leaves and small birds peeking around the corners of each window. Countless blankets lay forgotten on the floor, the colors of said blankets ranging from pastels to forest tones to gothic tones. There was a peach blanket laying by his book, a fuzzy black blanket folded up nicely by the fireplace, and an earthy green blanket laying next to the peachy blanket.

What seemed to be mini lanterns were strung together, at least three lanterns dangled from the cord above, the other six reaching back as to plug into the wall. Pages of what seemed to be an old spell book were attached to the cord, the writing unreadable to everyone in the room but Yoongi. Though, that wasn't the thing Jimin worried about. When he first walked through the door, he spotted a candle. As they walked through the cottage, Jimin gave himself a mission and counted all the candles in the cottage. When they were finally shown the last room, that being the loft, he counted a ridiculous amount of candles, sixty four to be exact.

To the left of them was a bed. It was placed dead center of the wall, the bed on the larger side. It looked to be a king size, the blankets deep tones of grey and black, the sheets soft a yellow and green, the pillows being a mixture of the two. Fairy lights were also strung up high above the bed, even more candles crowding the night stand to the right side of the bed, Yoongi's preferred side. The bed was made, the pillows all arranged nicely and no wrinkled to be seen, not even the comforter. There was a throw over blanket on the bed as well, this one being a light grey in tone, small fluff balls of the same color sewn to the ends of the blanket.

Last, but more certainly not least, was Yoongi's closet. There was a small room off to the side, a door separating the group from the said room. The door was a darker color, not black, but most certainly not white either. Let's just say it was a darker shade of grey and go because no one was focusing on the door color, but what was on the other side of said door. Yoongi was the one to crack the door open, his arm reaching in to flick on what seemed to be a light switch off to the side. It looked to be as if he was hesitant, something he wasn't feeling when he was showing them around the cottage. Maybe it because he was showing his vulnerable side in a different way; that way was showing them his true wardrobe.

To say anyone was surprised by the lack of color in Yoongi's wardrobe would be a lie. All the clothes hung up high on the walls lacked life, lacking any color that he needed in his life. Black sweaters, black jeans, black sweats, black hoodies, black everything. It was a cute set up though, white shelves, white carpet, a white body mirror, and white walls. To their surprise, there were plants in the room, more candles placed with care on shelves that remained empty with nothing but picture frames and candles. There was a large window on the ceiling, the afternoon sun also casting golden rays of sun into the room.

There was a separate area for his accessories, necklaces, bracelets, rings, glasses, anything really was placed neatly in their assigned spot. This setup was also nice, candles sitting neatly on the desk, a small potted plant sitting next to the display that held half of Yoongi's bracelets. Different colors could be seen in the sea of black clothes, which was surprising to say the least. There was a yellow bracelet, there was a pink bracelet. There were purple rings and blue rings, but there were also gold chain necklaces and silver chain necklaces. There were so many different colors that it struck the group as odd.

Yoongi stood anxiously in the center of the room, the elder seeming embarrassed of how messy the place actually was with all the plants, books, candles, blankets, and pillows. Jimin could see that Yoongi wished he had cleaned up more, put plants away, put candles away, done more so there was more room for everyone but his plants. It was cozy to him, but he honestly didn't know what his friends liked and that made him all the more anxious. But someone broke the silence, and it surprised no one that it was Jeongguk.

"I honestly counted seventy five candles." Jimin watched as Yoongi's mouth opened as if to say something to only quickly shut his mouth, his face bleeding with confusion as he stared at Jeongguk as if he had grown another head.

"I actually counted eighty one," Sangwoo said from the back, Yoongi growing even more confused. Then Jin piped up.

"What? I counted fifty two!" Yoongi looked petrified. He was looking at everyone like they were insane for yelling about his candles and not the fact he's kept his cottage a secret for how many years.

"You guys are counting candles? Me and Taehyung were counting plants and we got to one hundred and thirty eight," Namjoon chirped, Taehyung nodding proudly as he stood tall next to Namjoon. Poor Yoongi looked so confused, petrified, but he almost looked relieved as well with their reactions, Jimin's especially because he's the only one who hasn't opened his mouth yet.

"You guy.. You're not mad? Disgusted? You're not scared of me?" Yoongi looked anxious again, his hand shaking softly as he pointed at himself to make himself clear that he was, indeed, talking about himself. With the confused looks everyone gave him, especially Jimin, answered Yoongi's question for him. Now it was Jimin's turn to speak his mind.

"I think we're all overjoyed that you shared something this big with us, hyung." Everyone agreed quietly, murmuring quiet behind Jimin. "This is your safe place, a place where you find comfort. You brought us into a place that holds your vulnerable side, the real you, the you that you feared would scare us away. How could we possibly fear you when you've taken such great care of us? I think we should be thanking you for showing us such a lovely cottage, so lively of plant life and it's also a part of you. Yoongi hyung, thank you for showing me a new side of you and I'm so proud of you for showing me something this important to you."

It was like a flip of a switch, a complete one eighty. The once powerful meister, strong hyung, caring friend broke, shattered under the pressure. Jimin watched as a single tear fell from Yoongi's right eyes, a tear of happiness, a tear Yoongi has been too afraid to shed. He watched as his meister broke down and fell to his knees to only start sobbing, the years of pain seeping out through the cracks in the wall he built nearly two decades ago. It was Jimin who helped crack that wall, guide Yoongi out of his comfort zone, save him from himself who he feared. It was all Jimin, it was always Jimin, and Yoongi was a damn fool for letting himself hold that damn fool close.

And he'll be damned, it was Jimin who knelt down next to him and put a comforting hand on his back, between his shoulder blades, rubbing soothing circles as Yoongi sobbed incoherently into the carpeted floor. It was the first time Yoongi felt safe, felt loved, the first time he felt at home, and he couldn't be anymore thankful for Jimin and his friends. Yoongi could hardly get out his shaky sobs, his shoulders rising and falling with every sharp inhale, his soft 'Thank you's drown out by his airy sobs, his body trembling as Jimin continued to stay by his side.

He's never felt so relieved in his life. He never thought this side of him would show its nasty face to him again for a long time. But this time, he reached out, wrapped his arms around the feeling, and embraced it. It wasn't just him breaking his own walls down, it was this nasty side breaking down it's own walls too. It was the same as Yoongi and he finally allowed himself to embrace it and hold it, care for it, love it just like he was learning to do himself. They are the same, scared children who still fear the dark, who fear his family, who fear losing someone they hold close, someone they love.

Maybe Jimin will be the person to show Yoongi love again, maybe in the friend way, maybe in the lover way, Yoongi won't know till the time is right. Things happen for a reason and Yoongi found himself blessed with a caring weapon, but also a caring friend who will be by his side till the day completes his mission and makes Jimin a death scythe. But, why does that hurt? Giving up Jimin after building a bond so strong that it physically hurt Yoongi when he was separated from Jimin for long periods of time to only have him ripped away from him? Why does that sting like salt being poured into a fresh wound? There is one thing Yoongi knows and that is he can't give Jimin up to anyone, not even Lord Death. Why, you may ask? Well-

Min Yoongi, shadow witch, three star meister at the DWMA, one of the world's best meister is in love with his weapon, Park Jimin.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A sound soul

Dwells within a sound mind

And a sound body

. .

. . .

The DWMA is was widely know around the world, even in Korea. Every child wanted to be either a weapon or a meister, but only a select few were blessed with such a golden opportunity. These students were admitted into the DWMA as soon as they could walk and talk, many of them not showing any signs of weapon form till years on. Yoongi was a meister, a scythe mister to be exact. How is he going to feel when he finds out there is only one in the school and the kid just so happens to be fucking annoying?

🖤 21/?

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amethyst-noir · 5 years

Note

If you want to create a bit of a mini story with the cuddling - 8, 9, 10 (like a progression from 'tolerating each other' to 'friends' to 'partners'). I'm not 100% sure if that beginning interests you but I thought I'd throw the idea out anyway :) (and no worries if it doesn't!)

Oh, I’m very interested! I have tons of ideas of the two of them starting on not quite friendly terms but still getting together in the end. I just haven’t written one of those yet. I hope you like this little thing. 💝

💫

8. Reluctantly

Tony didn’t want to, he really didn’t. Apart from a few harsh words there hadn’t been any contact between the asshole wizard and him since the day Thanos was finally dead and gone for good. A couple of accusations, a rather one-sided screaming match where Tony let out his frustrations of the last few decades of his life and a rather withdrawn Strange asshole who had taken the verbal abuse with a stoic face and barely any reaction. Apart from a cold “there was no other way”. The memory alone made Tony’s blood boil all over again.

But… there was more to Strange than the asshole persona he projected almost as skillfully as Tony himself. Looking at him right now, exhausted after using his magic to save the Avenger’s collective asses, he was just a man. A man who looked rather more beat-down than he should, considering the had just saved the day and a ton of people. Instead of taking his well-deserved praises and thanks he was huddling as far away as possible from all the others, wrapped up in his mysterious Cloak and looking rather miserable.

And nobody but Tony even looked into his direction. It was unfair. Everything in Tony screamed to get his ass over there and ask the guy if he was okay. He once again checked if anyone else was available to do it but no. As always, the unpleasant task fell to him.

Let’s get this over with, he told himself. “Hey, Strange!” he wanted to call. “Hey, Stephen, you okay?” came out of his mouth instead. He could have kicked himself but the surprised and wary way the man looked up told Tony that he’d said the right thing for once.

“Tony?”

He sounded so small and almost broken that all misgivings fled in a heartbeat. “What’s wrong?” Tony noticed how his voice got automatically lower and more soothing, just like it had done back on Titan, years ago. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

A shake of the head. “Just exhausted,” Stephen whispered. “This,” he vaguely gestured around, “took a lot out of me.” It had, he looked like hell, something Tony hadn’t really noticed before.

Tony had seen him do more with less aftereffects. Hell, the guy was even shivering, despite it being rather warm. Cold or shock? Tony asked himself, already moving. “Hey, don’t collapse here. It’s gonna be hell on your back.” Stephen just watched him lethargically as he sat down beside him. Fuck it, Tony decided after moment. Why not?

There wasn’t any protest as he put an arm around Stephen’s too thin waist and gently drew him closer. There wasn’t one when Tony shifted them around and put his other arm around him. There was barely any reaction when Tony finally embraced him fully. Finally, after some moments of tense waiting, Stephen took a deep breath and relaxed into the hold.

“Sorry.” Tony could barely hear him speak, despite their nearness.

“Shh. Don’t be. We all need this from time to time. That’s what friends are here for.” Funny, he’d never even thought about Stephen in a friendly way but now he couldn’t imagine to not want to comfort the man when he needed it.

There were no more words. Tony watched the sun set, while Stephen shivered in his arms and calmed himself down from whatever horrors haunted his mind.

💫

9. Totally platonic

“Yes!”

The loud shout was the first thing Stephen heard after FRIDAY had opened the door into Tony’s workshop for him. It still blew his mind that he was on the “let him in any time he wants, doesn’t matter if I’m around or not list”. A very carefully selected group of people like Colonel Rhodes and the one and only Pepper Potts. Plus one lonely sorcerer who shouldn’t be on it but had been more or less dragged there by Tony himself after the man had decided to adopt Stephen as a friend.

Sometimes, he still looked around in search of the wrong turn he’d taken to land in another dimension that was pretty much like his original one - only better. Because Tony Stark couldn’t accept a no (or ten) Stephen now had friends apart from Wong and a place to hang out apart from Kamar-Taj and the Sanctum. It was pretty great, actually.

“What have you done now?” he called in greeting. “Solved the mysteries of the universe for good?”

He got a laugh for that. “No, I’m leaving that one to you, oh mysterious Master of the Mysteries. Here, let me show you.” Tony was by his side and dragging him towards the big holographic screen that dominated the workshop. “Look,” he breathed.

Stephen did. The looked, he stared, he saw traces of his own work and he understood. The next thing he did was hugging the breath out of Tony. “You did it!”

Tony clung back just as hard, laughing along with Stephen. “We did it,” he corrected breathlessly. “This is going to change so many lives.”

Stephen took half a step back to once again look at the display and the promise it held. “Restructuring and re-growing damaged nerves,” he whispered in awe, not noticing that his right hand was still gripping Tony’s underarm or that Tony’s left arm was still around his waist.

💫

10. Totally romantic

“Who’s going to lead?” Tony was already breathless, hair mussed and beautiful eyes glassy with alcohol and happiness.

“Does it matter?” Stephen asked, feeling carefree and happy like he hadn’t in years. Possible decades.” In the middle of the dancing floor he could see May lead her brand-new husband into their first dance together. Happy lived up to his name like never before, Stephen decided.

In answer, Tony put his hands on Stephen’s hips while Stephen put his on Tony’s shoulders. The elevated position was better for his hands and besides, Tony loved to hold him like that. Like in so many other things it was a match made in heaven.

“I love you,” Tony murmured, letting go of even the pretense of dancing, snuggled closer to Stephen and put his head on Stephen’s shoulder. “So damn much.”

Stephen drew him closer into an almost protective embrace, determined to keep him safe forever. “I love you, too,” he whispered back, resting his cheek against Tony’s head.

It wasn’t a dance, just some swaying while being entwined as tightly as two separate bodies could get.

The picture of his two friends and almost-father figures being happy and in love was still one of Peter’s favorites. The print he gifted them with became a fixture in the Sanctum, protected by layers of magic to keep it pristine for centuries to come.

🦋

Oh, this was a fun one! Thank you for the challenge. There’s an outtake (that shows the transition from friends to partners/lovers) concerning Tony’s discovery and Stephen’s hands that will be posted soon. I have to figure out the ending first.

I’ll get to all the cuddling asks you have sent my way, never fear. I’ll try to do one per day until I run out of asks and depending on how many of the list are still left by that point I might do the rest. Thank you for indulging me and my extreme love for Tony and Stephen cuddling with each other. 💗

#ironstrange #tony stark #stephen strange #cuddling prompts #amy writes #aelaer #inbox

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arreisstorm · 4 years

Text

youtube

"Life not of J-Hope but Jeong Ho-Seok

flashes by

It must have been full of regret with no

hope till I die

My dancing was chasing ghosts

Blaming my dream, asking why I live and

breathe

Oh my God

Uh time goes by

Seven years of anguish come out finally

Oppressions all resolved

Into my heart come answers from my most trusted

‘Only one hope, only one soul’

'Only one smile, only one you’

Definite answer to the truth of the world

Only one and unchanging me

Right..."

God there's just so much I love about this song, from the very opening, where the unspoken committment to pay homage to their past resurfaces yet again as Hobi incoporated samples from "Intro: 2 Cool 4 Skool", to the hyped background music, to the brilliance in art design, to the beautiful and in-depth lyrics (the part above being my favorite), to just the pure perfection and joy that Jung Hoseok exudes through his own creative masterpieces.

The word 'Ego' according to Freudian theories, is the part of the personality which is responsible for representing or conveying reality back to the self, and I think Hobi hit this nail right on the head with these lyrics:

"Life not of j-hope but Jeong Ho-Seok flashes by."

What I interpreted from this, and what I think he has come to realize, is that his own true self, Jung Hoseok has taken a backseat to his persona, J-Hope and while he is beyond appreciative and grateful for everything he has achieved as a member of BTS, he as a normal person has still missed out on so much: time, possible relationships, and experiences that he will never get back, and that hurts when you force yourself stand back and take in the bigger picture.

"It must have been full of regret with no hope till I die

My dancing was chasing ghosts

Blaming my dream, asking why I live and breathe."

This part is like a follow-up to my previous thoughts as I believe Hobi here is referring to the time he spent as a dancer, both in pre-debute with BTS and even afterwards, and how that struggles he faced lead him down a dark path, where he began to question both his purpose and his own passions. If you remember in an old interview or log (can't recall exactly which it was, ironic huh? Haha), Yoongi once shared with us that, despite his happy and optimistic disposition we are so familiar with now, in their earlier days, Hoseok was one of the most depressed people he had ever seen before. This was also around the time that he had been battling with the pressures of learning to be a rapper, working day and night on dance choreography for the team, and even left the group for a short time because of discrepancies in the company. All of this would be enough to make anyone question their our dreams if what your dreams were becoming, was actually the very cause of your own depression; thankfully in this next part of the verse we start to see a turn around and the perseverance that allowed for Hoseok's true colors to shine bright.

"Seven years of anguish come out finally

Oppressions all resolved

Into my heart come answers from my most trusted

‘Only one hope, only one soul’

'Only one smile, only one you’

Definite answer to the truth of the world

Only one and unchanging me."

In this ending part of the verse, we see that he is now accepting that even though they may seem like two separate entities at times, J-Hope and Jung Hoseok are two halves of the same whole.

"‘Only one hope, only one soul’

'Only one smile, only one you’

Definite answer to the truth of the world

Only one and unchanging me."

He knows that those 7 years of anguish, his personal demons, those endless and tiresome hours, and all the blood, sweat, and tears poured into his passions has helped him to grow stronger and has shaped him into the person he is today. He IS the multitalented global superstar, dance machine, and human embodiment of hope, J-Hope from BTS, but he is ALSO the vulnerable, self-conscious, compassionate and loyal sweetheart Jung Hoseok, a human being first, and someone that I think the world should also get to know more about.

I think it's so easy for us, even as die-hard supporters and ARMY to get so wrapped up in the image that's projected through our screens and in media, that we lose focus on the true identity of a person. We owe it to Jung Hoseok, not J-Hope, to show the rest of the world what the truth is and to not let it be overshadowed by all the flashing cameras. He has served as our unwavering beacon of hope for so many years and now I feel like it's our time to take up that torch and be the hope that he needs as well.

What do you say ARMY, are you with me? ✌

Finally, I just wanted to say one last thing and that goes to Jung Hoseok himself. I'm aware that he will probably never see this but I want to say it anyway. Thank you Hoseok, thank you for sharing such a personal song with us and for trusting ARMY enough to show this other side of you, the side that is so full of insecurity and flaws, but the side that is the most real. You have always been a form of comfort for me, both with your words and the love you show, but I also want to be that same comfort for you. I want you to know that, even though the world sees you as this giant ball of sunshine that is never without your signature smile, I still see the person behind it and, I just want you to know that you don't always have to try and maintain that impossible task of unrelenting positivity for me, you are human, just like the rest of us, and like the rest of us, you are allowed to be sad, upset, overwhelmed, angry, or any other emotion there is to feel. It doesn't make you any less of a role model for others or revoke the symbol of hope that you are beyond deserving of, it just makes you that much more genuine. We purple you too Hobi, our beautiful ray of light, and we always will!

💜🌞💜🌞💜🌞💜🌞💜🌞💜🌞💜🌞

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