#this isn't really that long but i'm gonna put it under a read more anyway <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jazz-miester · 1 year

Note

Yandere Bayverse!Optimus x Decepticon Mech reader smut?

Also, I wanted to say that I LOVE your works! Especially that one Optimus x reader one.. it has me in a chokehold. Anyways, feel free to ignore!

Hung Over You

Pairing: Bayverse Optimus x reader

Reader type: Decepticon Mech

Song: Lady Lie- Rainbow kitten surprise

Warnings: I'm gonna put Dubious Consent here as a warning. I. Honestly i'd rather be safe than sorry yall. And please please for all that is holy. Get absolute consent from your partners before doing anything. If the yes isn't given whole heartedly and said with everything the person has to offer. Don't do it. It's not worth it.

An: Aww you're too sweet! I'm glad that you like my stuff so much! Hope that this is what you wanted lol. I'm not to familiar with the yandere thing so im lowkey just winging it. Also putting this under a read more because this came out to be 4186 words long lol.

Tags: @rawmeknockout hope you don't mind me tagging you in this lol.

You have caught his optic. Which honestly is the most dangerous thing you have ever had happen to you. There has been. Rumours that have spread from out of the Autobot ranks. But they had been rumours. Right?

Primes don't do that. They. They don't.

Not once did you truly worry though. When would you ever see him? You were one of the few medics that the Decepticon army had left. Most others had defected to the Autobots.

Really. It made sense. They left so they could work in a slightly safer environment where you were less likely to be offed by your patients. Still, even with how long you've been with the Decepticons you find yourself wondering why. Why have you stayed for so long despite the Decepticons going so far out of the ballpark of what they once stood for.

It was becoming less and less often you would find that reason to stay. And at this point you were only finding it in the older mechs. Those who were forced into their casts by the functionists all because they transformed into something other than a silly little microscope.

They were the ones that still fight so they would no longer have to risk their lives on a job that they higher nobles where to afraid to do. They stuck with the original Decepticon ideals so that their future younglings wouldn't have to live the harsh and horrid lives they did.

They are the reason you kept going. Kept doing what you did. They were he reason you still had a flicker of hope for the Decepticons. That Megatron was truly fighting for your peace. That he would lead Cybertronian kind into a new era. One of peace and prosperity in the way they never had before. A life where your frame didn't dictate how and who you would be.

You lost that little ember of hope on a Decepticon battlefield. Every attempt you made to help the others. To heal, to mend. All of it in vain when the bombs began to rain from above.

Again and again you went out dragging in bots and cons alike to some semblance of safety as the bombs screamed in the sky. You were forced to quit when an Autobot. And old and ancient mech stopped you and pulled you into the shelter. It was his rust colored paint that filled your vision as he gave you some sense of solace.

It was with him you grieved the loss of any hope you had left.

All of this. The wrought and ruin of his own troops, supplies, territory. All of it destroyed for a blind assault on the chance he could kill his enemy.

All of it because Megatron was to much of a coward to face Optimus Prime himself.

You did all you could. Tending to the injured. Helping even the Autobots. Or at least all that would allow you to.

It felt like a life cycle for the bombs to quit falling. Longer still for the metal of Cybertron to settle. And longer for the air to become ventable once again.

You did what you could to lead the injured up and out.

A lot of Decepticons turned their back on the cause after that. Most choosing the neutral path. Not willing to chance facing their brothers and sisters. Friends. Lovers.

Some, like you, pledged yourself to the Autobot cause.

It was on that battlefield that you saw him for the first time.

Optimus Prime.

There was a million and one warning bells going off in your helm the closer he came.

"Are you here to fight, or to stay?" His voice rumbled like distant thunder just before a storm of acid rain. This was the same question he had asked every con before you.

"Stay, I suppose." You spoke after a moment. You had long since torn away the Decepticon insignia. You could still feel the distant ache in your sparkchamber.

A botched job for what should have been the greatest moment in your lifecycle.

It meant nothing now.

"I have heard you helped my troops mech. Is this true?" Blue optics looked you up and down then stopped on your own. For the briefest moment you wondered if he could see you. Truly see you. As if the matrix gave him some supernatural ability to pick apart your very spark.

Cybertronians used to worship Primes.

"I did." You answered. "And I will continue to do so. If you allow. Optimus Prime." A grin split his lips when you were done speaking.

"If you are willing then yes.." He trailed off.

"Y/n sir." The Prime tilted his helm. Mouthed your name.

"Y/n." Something about the way he spoke it sent your spark pounding. Your takes turning.

Megatron sounded like that once.

Just before everything went to slag in a hand basket.

That wasn't the last time you saw the Autobot leader. And it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"Y/n! Mech! Pay attention slaggit!" Ratchet's voice was right in your audio receptor. His servos moved with more efficiently than you have ever seen in any mech or femme. It was supernatural, almost, to watch.

The two of you were elbow deep in a mech. The damned frontliner decided to play hero.

You could have sworn you had seen Optimus. There in a window that the assistant has forgotten to close.

"He's damned good. For a con." Ratchet would both praise and poke at you at the same time. "I'm glad he's on our side though."

You were proud with where you were at the moment. You had built a reputation for yourself. Worked in a place that made your skills worth something. You worked with bots that wouldn't have your helm for just venting wrong near them.

You caught a snippets of Ratchets and Ironhides conversation from where you were organizing field kits. Restocking and filing inventory on this had fallen to you after a while.

Well. You were until Optimus came spilling in. Energon flowed freely onto the floor where it really shouldn't have been.

Two mechs carried him in. You were quick to clear a med berth off. Already you were in the process of cleaning when Ratchet began barking orders

Time to show Ironhide those skills Ratchet was bragging about.

Sometime later and what seemed like an obscene amount of energon, Optimus was deemed stable. Currently he was sleeping off the anesthetics.

"Will you keep an optic on him and tell me when he wakes kid?" You looked up from the data pad you were typing on when Ratchet spoke. "I have some reports I need to finish and I need to plan some care for when he wakes up." You waved a servo.

"I've got it Ratchet. Go do what you need to." With a heavy sigh he left. Muttering about Primes being stupid and self sacrificing for no good Primus damned reason.

You went back to restocking field kits. You needed something to do with your servos while you waited for him to wake up.

Which wasn't much longer after you finished. The Prime woke with a start. Bolting upright as he took in where he was. Some part of his processer still stuck out there on the feild.

It was only after he swing his legs over the side of the berth did you walk towards him.

"Prime. You need to stay laying down. If you get up now you could re open the welds me and Ratchet placed." Your voice was low. Soothing. The same voice you have used a thousand times over for Decepticon coming out of general anesthetics. At least this time you were greeted with a look rather that blaster fire.

Really. Megatron should have implemented some sort of psychiatric treatment for his troop.

Optimus said nothing as you walked up to him. Slowly you placed one servo on his shoulder. "I need to check on the welds before I go and get Ratchet. Are you ok with that or do you want me to get him to do it?" You always gave them the option. Some still didn't trust you. Former Decepticon and all.

"You may." The Prime leaned back slightly. His legs spreading further apart as he balanced himself. You said nothing other than giving him a nod before going to check the welds across his abdomen.

The welds looked ok. And they were still holding up despite the fact he decided to spring up off the berth. You took the opportunity to glance at the ones on his arms. Then checking the cabling at his neck that had become undone.

You froze for a moment when he leant forward. Slumping as if suddenly overcome by fatigue. Out of reflex you caught him by the shoulers. Bracing him as he fell forward. Optimus's helm fell on your shoulder. His servo brushing against your hip and thigh.

"Slaggit! Prime are you ok?" You pushed back on him. Righting the blue colored Prime. "Are you dizzy? Any pains that we were not aware of?" You looked over his face plates. Looking for the drain of nanites and fuzzy unfocused optics.

Nothing.

"I am fine. Just." He paused. "Apologies, Y/n. I did not mean to cause concern." There. Again. That same look he gave you on the battlefield sometime ago.

"Are you sure? It is no issue. I can go get Ratchet. He wanted me to get him after you woke anyways." A slight flicker on his face plates. A sort of, annoyance? Then.

"Get him if you must. Ratchet is my CMO for a reason." It wasn't until you pulled away did you realize Optimus's servo had been on your waist that entire time. Only did you know when you pulled away and his digits grazed along the dark grey plating.

You felt like you were going insane. Someone was leaving you gifts. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the fact it was inside your habsuit on your berth.

They were the things you liked. Sweetened energon candies. A very specific polish you thought you would never find again. There was even a praxian crystal rose at one point. Who would give that away to a former Con you would never know. After the fall of Praxus they had become scarce.

You saw Optimus a few times after he had been discharged from the med bay. He came a few times afterwards to keep the welds in check and to make sure the new cabling in his throat had took.

You had been the one to check on the welds after a while. And to make sure the Prime had proper movement in his left arm. The one that you were now currently holding and moving to ensure fluid movement in the shoulder joint.

There was that look again. Like he was staring into your very soul. You felt that if you bared your spark chamber you would feel less exposed.

"And this? Any pain, aches?" The Prime rumbled out a laugh. Not once had he looked away from you.

"No. Truly, it is fine. You've done a very good job." You could feel your faceplates warm. Not use to any type of praise.

"It was hardly all me. Ratchet did the bulk of it." Optimus humed. Pulling his arm away. His digits brushed against your chassis before they settled in his lap. He flexed his palms and you couldn't help but to look.

Only to sputter a cough before he looked up. Almost getting caught ogling the Primes thighs.

"Still. You have done good. I am grateful to have such a skilled mech on our side. Your skills are valued here, y/n." He spoke your name with an intensity.

The two of you locked optics for a moment. The Prime almost drawing you in. He servo rose and hovered next to yours. You swore he almost would have taken it in his if it weren't for Ratchet calling him to his office.

The look that covered his facelates looked almost murderous. You had stepped back when he did that. And the look had fallen almost as quickly as it had came. Filled with a different, almost fearful look at your reaction.

The Prime rose and left. Giving you one last look before going to meet Ratchet. When you glanced back down to the berth you felt you tanks turned.

There, in the center of the berth, was a singular Praxian rose. The one that twined the other currently beneath your berth.

You said nothing about it to anyone. Instead quickly taking it and placing it within your subspace before Ratchet or any of the other medics or assistants could notice.

When Optimus left he had caught your optic then glanced at the berth the rose had been on. When he noticed it was gone and how quickly you had looked away. He smiled.

That night you had went to your habsuit shaken. Placing the rose with the other things you had been given.

Was. Was Optimus the one doing this? It would make sense seeing as how he would be one of the few with the proper codes to get into your habsuit.

But why? Why you? And was it really you?

You didn't fall into recharge that night. And you were in a daze for the next day cycle. Ratchet having reprimanded you more than once for your forgetfulness.

You nearly dropped the glass vials holding nanites when you saw him in the window looking into the supply closet. Optimus had studied you briefly before leaving.

You didn't move for many klicks. Servos shaking as you tried to calm yourself.

The next few days went the same. Catching Optimus in the corner of your optics every time you turned. It made you jumpy. Skittish. You began to pull away from the bots you had made friends with. Even to Ratchet who seemed to be concerned. But he said nothing. Did nothing other than lay his servo on your shoulder and give you the most sympathetic look you had ever seen.

"Y/n. Prime needs you in his office." You glanced up dumbly to the femme that had called your name. You had been in the rec room watching some old holo vids Toptwist had put on. A chorus of oohs had filled the room. Most of the bots acting like you had just been called to the headmaster's office in the academy.

Instead you swallowed thickly and nodded your helm at the femme.

You're frame is shaking the entire walk down the hall. Your mind was racing.

Did you do something wrong? If so then what? As far as you knew you were doing everything Ratchet needed you to. You didn't cause any problems with the others. No matter how much you wanted to throttle some of them when they wouldn't stop fragging you over just because you used to be a Con.

Is that why? Did some mech of femme complain about you being a former Decepticon?

You didn't want to lose what you had here. To much. It. You had finally found a reason to keep fighting. The Autobots they held up the ideals that the Decepticons used to have.

You don't think you would be able to quit this. Not without some consequence on your mental health. You needed this.

You stopped before the door to Optimus Primes office. You didn't know if you should com him or knock on the door. In the end you chose the latter. Fisted servo hovering before the engraved metal door for a klick before you knocked.

Ice flooded your frame. Something. Something spoke to you about this being a bad idea. That you should turn. Run.

Instead you ignored that millennia forged instinct.

"Enter." Optimus's voice sounded from the other side of the door after you knocked. The door sliding open and closing behind you quickly when you stepped inside.

His office was quaint. Small. There were odds and ends decorating shelves. A few organic plants here and there that looked well taken care of. It was such a rare sight to see. The war on Cybertron and rendered all organic life null. Unable to grow in such an hostile enviroment.

There were data pads from floor to roof on one wall. Suddenly you remember that the great Prime was just once a simple archivist in Iacon.

"There's no need to stand near the door, dear Y/n. I promise. You are not in any trouble here." Your helm snaps from the shelves of data pads and towards the Prime sitting at his desk. It was cluttered with data pads and reports. A few trinkets here and there. There was even a floating holo screen of what you assumed was him and a few other bots in one corner.

"I was told you needed me sir?" You strode to the center of the room. Just before the Primes desk. He smiled and shook his helm before rising from his seat.

"Please. There is no need for formalities here. I am just Optimus. " The Prime rounded the side of his desk before leaning against the side of it. Crossing his arms over his chassis.

You swallowed thickly. Finding yourself falling into a parade rest. "I was told you needed me, Optimus?" You repeated the question with his name instead. He gave a small laugh when he looked over at you.

"I meant it when I said there was no need for formalities Y/n. Please." Optimus pushed himself away from the desk as you made an attempt to stand comfortably. It was a little awkward.

Optimus stopped before you by less that a foot. You had to raise you helm to look him in the optics. You were not exactly a small mech but you reached just below the Primes chin.

"But yes. I did want you down here. I wanted to discuss something with you." His servo rose. The palm of his servo hovering just next to your helm before settling firmly on your shoulder. You couldn't help but look to that servo. Then to him as he began talking once again. "I have heard you've done good work here. And i'm proud of the fact that you are." The servo fell then digits hooked just below your chin.

Your spark began pounding in your chest. "I expect you have met my gifts well?" You optics widden and you pull away from those digits.

"That was you?" Your voice rose slightly at the end. At least that was a conformation. Whether or not it set you at ease was debatable to say the least.

"Of course. I'm sorry I couldn't deliver them in person though. I didn't need the others thinking I was playing favorites." His optics looked your faceplates over. His glossa darted out to wet his lips. "I find you to be the most brilliant mech I have had the honour to have in my troops yet. Y/n I have been hung over you since the moment I saw you." His servos cup either side of your helm. The size of them almost engulfing you.

"There is something addicting about you. I have yet to lay my servo on it. But. I wish to have you, if you will." His thumb brushed along your bottom lip. His optics following the movement of his thumb as he did this. "Of course we will have to keep this secret for a while. But I do not mind." His voice was low. Almost rattling in your chassis from how close he was now.

Chassis to chassis. Touching. So close. If the two of you were to slide the metal away. Surely your sparks would touch. The gesture here. Now. It was intimate.

Suffocating.

"Sir we can't. Its." Optimus's face darkened.

"Optimus. Please. Call me Optimus." His servos fell and once reached down to grab yours. He brought it up to his lips and layed a kiss on your scarred knuckles. His optics were on you the entire time. Blown wide with. Attraction? Lust? "And we can. The others will learn to deal with it."

Something pleasurable flooded your field when his wrapped over yours. Your processer fogged and you didn't know what to do. "Optimus I." You stopped when that pleasure flooded over you again. You legs shook and before you knew it you were moving. Your legs hit the desk and one moment you were standing. The next you were sitting. Optimus's servos wrapped around your thighs as he lifted yo up and onto it.

For a moment the fog lifted and you looked up to see a loopy grin on the Primes faceplates.

"Oh you look stunning just like that. I wonder if I could make you make that face again." He was between your legs. His servo traveled from your thigh and over your hip. It sprawled out over your stomach plating and up your chassis. His digits dipped in seems and pulled at wires that had a heat pooling below.

You whimper when his lips finally connecting with yours. Shivers running down your frame as he moves fervently. His servos cradle your helm as he does this. Drawing you in close. You servos find his wrists. You didn't know if you wanted to pull him away or hold him there so he would keep going.

He did leave you those gifts. It. It makes sense that he wouldn't do it in person. Right?

Right?

The two of you pull away with heated breaths. A string of fluid following your lips before breaking apart.

Your faceplates felt hot. Your vents where going rapidly. Trying to cool your heated frame.

Optimus lent in again and again. Laying kiss after kiss until he found your neck. Nibbling and sucking along the cabling there. You shiver and shook at the assault. Your frame reacting pleasantly to what he was doing.

"Such sweet sounds you are making. I wonder if you will sing the same while on my spike." His hips rolled as he said this. His servo landed on top of your interface array. "Please? My Y/n please?" Optimus spoke breathlessly. His helm pressed to yours. Your nose bumping against his as he moved to press another kiss to your lips. "For me? Please?"

And you did. Your array springing open and revealing your spike and valve to the room.

"The. The door. Is it locked?" You asked.

"Mmm? Yes." Optimus told you. His digits fluttering over your valve. A whimper left your lips as he teased you. Digits skimming over your valve. Your aching node to tease your weeping spike. "Look at you. Is all this for me?" He pressed a kiss to your chin.

"Yeah." You spoke. "Yeah. Just for you." A low moan left you when he sunk his digits within you. Digits curling as he pumped them in and out of you. He moved slowly. Gathering the fluid that left you and spreading his digits apart to slowly ease you into taking his spike.

He didn't want to hurt you after all. Not after waiting for so long. And not with you being so nice and willing.

You almost cried when those cleaver digits left you. Only for you to give a shudder when he put those same digits in his mouth. Glossa working around and between his digits tasting everything you had to offer.

"You taste sweeter than I thought you would be Y/n." He humed as his own interface array pulled away. He gave is own spike a few languid strokes before placing it between your shaking legs. "Relax. I will not hurt you." The tip of his spike pressed into you. "Relax my y/n." He guided himself within you. Moving slowly. He briefly pulled back at one point before sliding forward.

Optimus paused when he was fully seated within you. Giving his hips a few experimental rolls as he watched you come completely undone beneath him.

He was absolutely enthralled with the way you threw your helm back when he began to move. He happily complied with your pleas of more. Harder. Just like that.

You were being so good. So kind after all. How was he not to do what you asked when you were doing such a good job. He even told you as much.

"Look at you. Being such a good mech for me. You are taking me so well my y/n." His hips stuttered when he felt you squeeze around him from the praise. "You are taking my spike so good. You pretty valve feels so nice. So good. Gripping my spike so." He paused when he felt pleasure rack through him when you squeezed him once again.

Optimus was sure to note this in the back of his helm for future fragging sessions.

He could feel his overload coming and coming quickly. And if the way your were keening and moaning. Chanting his name so sweetly. Well, he knew yours was close as well.

Optimus rolled his field over yours and watched as you threw your helm back. Static spitting out of your vocalizer as you overloaded and over loaded hard. Your frame falling pliant under his servos.

Optimus found his soon after you. Pulling you close and leaning on your body.

He was sure to bring you into his habsuit. Cleaning your dirtied frame. Optimus took in the welled energon on your neck cabling. The slight paint transfer around your thighs from your coupling.

He'd be damned if he was letting you leave anytime soon.

#Maccadam #valveplug #Optimus Prime x reader #bayverse optimus x reader #bayverse optimus #optimus prime #yandere optimus prime #request #anon

599 notes · View notes

goldenpinof · 5 months

Note

curious about your perspective – what do you think is the primary reason for the current comeback, and for the large scale of it (daily videos, new heavily marketed merch, etc)? are they trying to make up some monetary loss? is it true revitalized passion? the influence of the new management? lead-up to a major project/announcement? i'm guessing there's an element of at least the first three, but interested in your opinion as a noted non-cynical cynic (compliment btw)

under the cut because that's a lot. and it's not even all of my thoughts, unfortunately.

no one is gonna read it. but if you are, i'm sorry in advance.

ahaha. about merch. did you notice how they just continue to promote the calendar and the catboy sweater even though the initial release and promo had a deadline aka till December 1st? this is a fishy marketing right there. and i would love to know: why they did what they did (i'd assume they printed more calendars than people ordered by Dec 1st, but that's not our problem as customers. we shouldn't have been put into a framework in the 1st place if there was a chance for this shit to go south. this theory goes against the "pre-order" with a start of shipping in 2-3 weeks); why their managers allowed it (from a legal perspective); and why dnp didn't say anything. anyways.

i do think that Dan is trying to compensate for wad losses. and i know that he was "joking" about not making money or making negative money on tour. but i saw ticket sales a day before each show (only public information, not the inside official data from venues), it's still on my blog. and the sales didn't look good. so, how much of it was a joke? and compensating by making content that we and they enjoy isn't a bad thing, btw! i also think that he feels guilty for leaving us and the dnp brand behind for so long without actually giving us anything in return. thus so many comments on this 5-year hiatus and potential future ones. blame youtube originals, i know. not really his fault, but his choice of (the lack of) communication is his fault. and again, i always come back to wad. something fucking clicked in his head when he saw not as many people as he hoped for (or expected), how dedicated were some of those who still supported him during wad, and also he realised that without stronger managers he was not gonna make it solo. and he dragged Phil along because they do everything together and only then it works the best, and also dnpg's return in full force needed new energy for the amount of sponsorships they decided to do (i think, it's mainly Phil's pushing, because he is pro-sponsorships, they just need to be more careful with it on dnpg because Dan (hopefully) has principles when it comes to this. which is amazing. you go, girl!)

i'm very suspicious of dnp's new management right now. so idk. i think, again, most of it comes from Phil, because Phil thrives on their gaming channel, and that's basically the only easy way to survive on youtube and make money right now (for him). i'm glad dnp separated dnpg from their solo careers at least on the management and content levels. it gives Phil the room to use dnpg as a brand to pitch and fund his ideas/projects if it's ever needed. and now, after we survived the hiatus, they can pause dnpg for a couple of months to focus on their solo projects without losing the majority of the audience because technically we would know the reason and also we grew a thicker skin.

i do think that Dan is using dnpg to later help himself with a stand-up special or tour or some sort of series (danisnotokay). i also think he will use it to promote wad dvd (which is good. i will be disappointed if he doesn't use dnpg. like, bitch, why are we even here then? those who went through wad with him, i mean). i wonder if Inter Talent (i'm separating their name intentionally at his point because they piss me off) was smart enough to announce Dan and Phil's signings 2 weeks after UTA announced Dan to just make us pay attention to Dan's solo career again. as a hint of something coming our way. you know what i mean? i wonder if it was intentional. like UTA made a huge announcement, Dan retweeted it and posted it on instagram stories. it was a big deal. meanwhile, dnpg began thriving again and our eyes were on Dan anyway, so of course we noticed that solo career was on the maps again. Inter Talent was basically silent as another representative of Dan (and Phil), despite having them on the website for at least a month. and now 2 weeks after UTA's announcement (which was on November 22, 2023) Inter Talent was like, "hello? do you remember we signed Dan? and also Phil, and their joint channel?" Dan said wad dvd is almost cooked. wouldn't it be genius to stir our interest up step by step? (a part of me still thinks that Inter Talent's social media managers are just slow as fuck though. also they don't even care to check facts about their clients. UTA didn't fuck the announcement up like that, btw. and i doubt Inter Talent realises how nosy dnp's audience is, and that we are very likely gonna notice and spread even this stupid announcement. maybe they are dumb and it's me who is a fucking genius planning steps to present wad dvd to the masses, ugh. when will Dan pay me, like for real.)

i'm surprised you don't think it's heavily connected to new projects. i would bet my kidney it does. Dan will fuck off the moment he needs to focus on danisnotokay or someone offers to sponsor another tour (which, please, someone do. i need to see him for professional reasons). the question is, fuck off for how long and if it's gonna be communicated thoroughly or not. i'm not saying he will leave for 6 months without giving us something in return to balance things out. no, no, no. i don't think he would dare. but 3-4 weeks, maybe 2 months? sure.

is it true revitalized passion? well. *nervous laughter* i'm gonna defend Phil like i'm a phillie, even tho i'm not. he wanted it just as much as we did. so i believe it's a true revitalized passion at least on his part. i hope he fights for it if it's necessary, i hope he asks us for help if needed. i hope he threatens Dan with an actual divorce and forever home if needed. like, bitch, if there's a chance to keep dnpg alive without Dan actually losing his will to live, we should use that chance. Dan's stubbornness and delulus are not the reason to kill the most fun and profitable thing they ever created aka dnp brand. let it exist, even if alongside solo projects, even if it's 2-3 videos a month. damn, even 1 video (i don't mean during pauses made specifically for the peaks of solo projects). i do think Dan enjoys the attention, money, and possibilities their returned audience can give him. he also enjoys working with Phil. he certainly does not enjoy promoting their videos. and he is lucky he has Phil for that. is it a true passion for the gaming channel and joint branding solemnly? i genuinely don't think so. now, this dnp brand puts Dan into a framework, unfortunately. and i understand his desire to grow as a "strong independent Dan", and i wish him the best. i will root for him no matter how much of a floppy-ding-dong it can potentially be. i want him to fulfill his dreams and have a team that will fight for his interests. and i hope to god, UTA and Inter Talent are the ones. don't fucking tempt me with your unprofessionalism. but do i think Dan's head and heart belong to dnpg or dnp brand? no. i'm happy that he is at least trying. a part of me doesn't even care about the reason. i'm curious, but in hindsight, it wouldn't matter or change anything.

other thoughts, because apparently i decided to vomit on a keyboard tonight:

i'm glad dnp took back a bit of control over the editing on dnpg. i hope they will try to edit more themselves when gamingmas is over. or they will teach their editors better. because man, we need to slow down with these cuts.

i do think that dnp brand will expand, and dnpg and merch aren't the only things we should expect. (twitch, podcast or liveshows, onlyfans or its equivalent, vlogging series not limited by ditl, and other things that i forgot). reaction videos are already a thing and it's very funny because it's what youtube wants, so Dan must feel amazing right now falling for it :)) it's good thought because it's fun and torture for all parties involved.

i think by these reaction videos they are trying to rewrite their internet history a little bit for those who are new. it's not gonna work with us but at least dnp can control the narrative in new people's heads (i wonder for how long though).

with new people, the phandom will become more generic and dnp will love that. it can actually help Dan with new projects i think. Phil as well, but we don't know shit about it right now.

i wonder if Dan returns to working with charities.

if they involve more phannies, not only artists, it's gonna be interesting.

in case i'm wrong, don't step on my neck, i don't know anything for a fact. half of it is alleged, the other half is wishful thinking <3

#answered #wad #wad dvd #inter talent #uta #dan and phil #ahahah suffer yall #dnpgames #dan and phil's merch

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aliquistis · 8 months

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On Mystra and Gale

Okay I gotta say it.

tl;dr: Gale is too old to have been groomed by Mystra (unless you headcanon him as 30 or younger), bc she was dead until 1479 (game year is 1492). I am not defending Mystra. Mystra is a mess. Her (FR) writing is a mess. But for this at least, the timeline doesn't add up.

Disclaimer: there is absolutely nothing wrong with people disregarding/tweaking lore for fan works/fanfic. God knows I do it all the time when I GM. That's your story now and you can do whatever you want with it, including exploring problematic relationships like what if Gale was groomed by Mystra? This is just a post for general information. Write what you want. Explore those dark recesses of the human heart. Fly free, you beautiful butterfly.

Too long but still gonna read explanation under the cut.

Let me preface this again: This is not a post in defense of Mystra. I have, in fact, been very loudly complaining about Mystra since long before Baldur's Gate 3 was even hinted. This is simply pointing out timeline discrepancies that it seems many newcomers to Forgotten Realms aren't aware of (totally understandable! You should not need to ingest 30 years of lore to enjoy a game and I'm not saying you do.) Additionally, FR literally kills Mystra every new edition and it gets dumber every time.

Anyways. It is highly unlikely that Gale was groomed by Mystra. This is not a statement of morality, it's a statement of timeline. Mystra died in 1385. She was in pieces (like bits of her magic were still in artifacts/her Chosen, such as Elminster in lore that I absolutely despise) and that, as far as I can tell, is how magic subsisted until 1479, when she was reconstituted by Elminster (in lore that I absolutely despise) This is a gross oversimplification of an event called the Spellplague. I am open to correction on how magic worked here because I moved to Pathfinder during the 4e era and you could not make me read those Elminster books if you put a gun to my head.

Regardless, from 1385-1479, Mystra was dead/missing/asleep. BG3 takes place in 1492. If Gale is 40 years old, he was born in 1452. This means, if Gale is 40, the youngest he could have been was 27 when Mystra contacted him. This lowers, obviously, if you think Gale is 35 or even 30. If he's 30 then Mystra could have contacted him at 17. Yes, a 17 year-old is a child and this could have led to grooming, but Mystra wasn't at full strength when she first returned and she most likely wasn't seeking new Chosen until the next year, 1480. Regardless, this is the reason I put grooming as Highly Unlikely instead of Impossible. I personally believe Gale is older than 30 (I say this as a person in their 30s), I believe he was written with the intention of being a man older than 30, and I cannot see him being in his 20s. (more power to you if that's your headcanon, he's an archmage, he could be 600 for all we know, fly free, etc)

OKAY THAT SAID. Would she have groomed him? Fucking probably! Mystra is a mess. I have been playing in Forgotten Realms in tabletop and video game settings for going on 25 years now and let me tell you. Mystra is a mess. I could make a whole long ass other post on all the many problems I've had with her writing over the years. Even without the "Mystra banged a minor" angle here, there is a serious power imbalance and very obvious manipulation on her part. And I'm here to tell you Gale isn't even the first wizard she has done this to! She's done much worse! Mystra has a ton of flaws (I could write a BOOK on Mystra's flaws) but it remains highly unlikely that grooming Gale in particular is one of them.

If you'd like more FR lore this person has some amazing lore write-ups that I really enjoyed reading during EA. And here is Mystra's forgotten realms wiki page, already linked to her death and return.

(my friend told me to post this after I kept bitching to them about Lore on discord and They Know Who They Are)

#Baldur's Gate 3 #bg3 #gale of waterdeep #Gale Dekarios #Civilized lore discussion/questions welcome #If you hate on Gale on this post I will block you #mystra lover/hater since 1999 #it's complicated ok #mystryl didn't die for this #forgotten realms lore

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 7 months

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Semantic Error | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter 5

Based off of Semantic Error (bl) by J Soori Summary: Jungkook begs to be the designer again. Pairing: Techie inexperienced fem!reader x Artist fuck boy Jungkook Work Count: 958 (something small since I haven't updated in a while) Warnings: Nothing really just some teasing but that shouldn't be surprising at this point lol a/n: Just wanted to put something out even if it's small since you guys really seem to be liking this story <3 I'll hopefully be coming back with a new chapter soon. You guys are gonna love the next one ;) Read from the beginning

After a long and arduous conversation that Jungkook had clearly planned to have from the beginning disguised by his intention to just "spend time with me" we've finally come to an agreement.

"So you lured me in here just to ask if you could be my designer for the game again? You could've just asked and not made me feel awkward by your strange request" I say walking out of the library with him following wherever I go. "Well yes, but I also just wanted to spend time with my new friend" he says and puts his arm around my shoulders. "Don't touch me" I say in a monotonous tone that seems to throw him for a loop as he quickly lets go.

"Last time I checked we weren't friends" I say looking down at my clock to see how much time I have left until my last class. "Oh you hurt me with your words babe" he says dramatically placing his hand over his chest. "Also can you quit it with the pet names? They make me feel uncomfortable" I say still looking down at my watch, trying to hide the blush that is most likely starting to form on my cheeks. "Uncomfortable...or flustered?" he says tilting his head down trying to catch my glance.

"I'm leaving" I say quickly turning towards the building that holds my next class. "Let me walk you to class" he says following me and falling in step when he catches up. "If I let you walk me to class will you stop calling me that?" I ask, keeping my eyes trained on my destination which isn't too far from where we are. "Maybe...but no promises" he says clearly amused with the pout that forms on my lip at his answer. "Whatever" I say under my breath realizing it's probably a lost cause anyway.

"Oh I forgot to ask! Since we're working on the game again I was thinking that maybe we could work on it in my studio" he says clearly hoping I say yes. "Why would we need to work together? You can just send me the files by the deadline agreed upon and do it on our own" I say going to grab the door handle when we finally reach the building but failing as he jumps in to open it for me but I walk in ignoring the gesture.

"Wouldn't it be more efficient if you were to give me your feedback while you're sitting next to me so we won't have to worry about going back and changing everything later because it didn't meet your standards? I promise it's really nice and it's only a few streets down from campus. I share it with another girl but she keeps to herself for the most part so you won't have to worry about her" he says trying his absolute best to convince me which really makes me question his motives but not enough to care.

"She's lesbian by the way so you don't have to worry about any of that" he says making excuses that he really shouldn't feel obligated to. "Okay? Not sure why that would concern me" I say and continue on, getting closer to my destination. "I'll think about it. It would be a lot more efficient like you had said but I'm not sure if the setup would prove to be productive for us" I say processing a little out loud.

"Just swing by after class. I promise I'll have the place sparking clean and you can feel free to rearrange anything you'd like so it'll work out well for the both of us" he says practically begging at this point. I wouldn't be surprised if he would resort to getting down on his knees for me...no! I mean, what? Why would I ever think about something like that?

Flustered by the mental image that thought had provided me I blurt out the first thing that would pacify the situation. "Yeah...I guess I could stop by" I say after clearing my throat getting rid of any awkwardness in my tone. "Cool, I'll come back after your class and we can go together" he says walking away leaving me chasing after him before he goes.

"Wait" I say taking hold of his sleeve and making him stop in his tracks. Once I've realized what I've done I quickly let go and look down the hallway back towards my class to make an excuse not to make eye contact. "Just text me the address and I'll meet you there" I say quickly and start to walk back before he grabs my wrist pulling me back leaving me unable to protest since I had done the same to him.

"Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?" he asks and brings his hand up to my jaw, guiding my eyes back over to his. "I'm not embarrassed I would just prefer to go on my own that's all. Plus you've wasted so much time on me today so you should just go do something productive. My class doesn't end until 8:30 so I'll come over right after" I say trying to convince him to just let me go on my own.

He searches my eyes for a while before caressing my cheek and I jump at the feeling not realizing he hadn't moved his hand yet. "See you then pretty" he says leaning in to say it so I'm the only one that can hear. I pull away from him and make my way back over to class quickly before he can see the blush that's flooded my cheeks immediately and I hear him chuckle behind me, happy he got the reaction he wanted.

What is he doing to me?

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nana-mizu-shiki · 23 days

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Kk. So. This isn't so much art but more a poem that I'm going to put into a fic I'm gonna make. Y'know song fics? Like that but with a poem. One I made and am going to give you the context of, I just wanna know if you guys would think a poem song fic would be cool.

The fic promt I thought of was:

What if Tim was dipped into the Lazarus Pit, but twice?????

And then I started coming up with a bunch of stuff listening to music, and I was like:

Thought Process? : Tim died in that desert. The Spleen incident didn't just leave him with a surprise surgery. It left him with glowing green eyes and half-white bangs. But of course, none of the Bats can know that, so, hair dye. Suprise, Suprise, the Pits don't bring Rage, they bring out the worst of a person. Jason? Anger. Ra's? Cruelty. Tim? Apathy. Tim's triggers? Betrayal, Abandonment, Reliance, Expectations Set For Perfection. Because. He. Has. To. Be. Perfect. Inherits Drake I. and Wayne E., slowly trying to cut ties with Gotham and The Bats, fades into the background until The Bats are too late to realize and too late to try to even stop him as he and Ra's make a deal. The deal? Cliffhanger. Up to the reader. And Worse? The Bats don't even realize as he left, taken back with The Demon Head to become his heir, and after months, training under Ra's himself, Returning to Gotham Under the alias of Shadow Shrike, civilian Tim D. W. A. G., although legally Timothy Drake-Wayne. Forever 17, hair shoulders length and bangs white, eyes permanently and mix of ice blue and mint green, flecks of Lazarus neon green passing even at simple glances of those he once called family. Dying his bangs temporarily in public, his vigilante-ism the thing that alerts the others of his return, his change. His Revival. His Death. Blah Blah Blah, Angst Confrontation Shenanigans, Details and Description of how the Pits affect Tim, how the Batfam try to reconnect and makeup, Yadda Yadda, Ends on a sorta cliffhanger thing where the reader chooses which Tim goes to as a Confrontation happens on a roof and Tim chooses between Jason, the Other Bats, Ra's, And Young-Just-Us.

Damn that was a word vomit.

Anyway, the poem is below,

Edit: I kinda realized the poem I'd really long and I'm considering putting this on Ao3 itself lol (*＞∇＜)ﾉ

👇

Green.

Abandoned and left; unthanked for,

Unthanked for?

They're ungrateful.

Green.

Lied and unapologetized to,

Left on Their own, and never recognized too.

Green.

Complete it all,

Raised to be Perfect,

Can never fall,

Always quiet and obedient,

Now Forever Indifferent.

Green.

To bring back the Bat,

Is to travel and turn,

Be ostracized and taken from,

Wings given to another,

Betrayed by those meant to be Their Brothers.

Green.

Betrayed and afraid,

Kicked out and replaced and stolen from a child,

To make a deal with The Demon Head

And to sell Their soul,

All Their worth,

All They've done,

What other choice?

What else is left?

Mentality;

Already on the brink,

Morality;

Like liquid and searching for who it obeys,

Green.

Left to die,

All alone

No longer were they meant to fly;

Sacrificing all their lives,

To help others and then left to die?

Green.

Alive.

Alive with no care. No care at all.

Apathy pulls the teen.

Eyes and vision glowing green all because of a spleen.

Okay so I'm not done but I really want to save this and post it on AO3, so pls let me know if you want to read more of this poem or the ideas of the fic it will go to. Thanks for reading (*^▽^)/★*☆♪*.ﾟ+ヽ(○･▽･○)ﾉﾞ +.ﾟ*

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bunnybearsworld · 1 year

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a ranking and analysis of “epic: the musical” songs so far, from someone who knows a lot about theater and not a lot about mythology

RANDOM DISCLAIMER: to reiterate from the title, i know a lot about music and theater, but NOT a lot about greek mythology. i'm trying to slowly read the odyssey as sagas release so that i'm never too far ahead but i can still have a sense of where things are going. aside from that, i have very basic foundational knowledge from vague exposure to pjo (but i never got into pjo myself LOL)

(also no one better spoil the odyssey for me in the tags or the comments i swear to god this is supposed to be about the SONGS)

putting it under the cut so people can scroll past if they want; this is long as fuck and i'm not gonna pretend it isn't.

9. the horse and the infant

i almost placed this one higher SOLELY BECAUSE OF "PENELOPE… PENELOPE, AND TELEMACHUS". (side note: low placement absolutely does not mean bad. i love every song in epic. like, excessively.) i'm probably going to talk about odysseus's voice A LOT. i love it. the reason i got into this in the first place is because back when early auditions were happening, one of the demos came up on my fyp and i was baffled by the vocals. from a plot standpoint i really like what this song does lyrically and what it shows of odysseus in particular but also how the gods interact with the mortals. zeus is immediately talking down/condescending to odysseus (which is fair because. it's fucking zeus, and also a detail that was pointed out to me by my friend), who reacts saying he "knows" he's ready for, essentially, whatever zeus throws at him… until he finds out zeus is making him kill a baby. the first two songs in the musical (this and "just a man") both reveal so much about odysseus, which is of course good because that's who we're supposed to sympathize with.

anyway. love this song. fuckin bangs.

8. just a man

normally with these early character-establishing solos i like them a little at first and then always skip them after that first listen. that's just a Thing for me. like, i know who you are now, i don't need to hear it again. but not this song. this was the first song that really told me i was gonna obsess over this musical for a long time and that it was going to ruin my life. my ONLY criticism, and it's not even a big one because it doesn't truly bother me/disrupt my listening experience at all, is that it's hard to hear any distinct emotion from odysseus for most of it. BUT I CAN'T EVEN BE MAD BECAUSE HIS VOICE IS SO STUPIDLY GORGEOUS. maybe that's hyperbole but i feel like you can't blame me for that. again as far as plot hearing odysseus's internal struggle about killing the baby is very foundational for our understanding of the character. also, the dual meaning of the lyric "when does a man become a monster" which as others have pointed out refers (most likely) both to odysseus wondering if fulfilling his end of the prophecy will make him a monster and also wondering when, if this baby grows up, it will cause whatever destruction zeus foretold… i have a lot of feelings. i like this song a lot. a LOT.

SECOND RANDOM DISCLAIMER: at some point, you will probably start to think i sound pretentious. i like my own funny words and think i am a magic man. you are allowed to not like my funny words.

7. open arms

i would like to briefly touch on how much i love steven dookie's voice before we proceed. ok thanks. ANYWAY, this to me is our first real shift away from the musical theater genre-sound, something that i love about modern theater and particularly composition. the vocal style is less theater-inspired to me, too--until the lotus eaters show up--which really speaks to the message of the song in my opinion. the laid back sound after the sort of chaos and pain of the past few songs is refreshing to me. as far as characterization it solidifies what i feel we already knew about polites just from that little bit of him we heard in full speed ahead, but shows the more caring side to his positivity (the "you can relax, my friend" refrain and variations). i also love what it shows about the dynamic between odysseus and polites, establishing further that polites isn't just a soldier but a friend. this is one of the songs that i don't have a lot to say about, truthfully, but mostly because every time i listen to it i'm just enjoying the sound LOL

6. full speed ahead

SIX HUNDRED MEN. SIX HUNDRED MEN UNDER MY COMMAND…. this is where we really meet some new characters, and their introductions--true to form for the show--show a lot about them, both right away when they show up and all the way through the end of the song too. eurylochus, the battle-minded second-in-command to odysseus, and polites, the kind-hearted best friend to odysseus, both make their positions very clear not only in their verses but i feel also in just the way that they greet odysseus/each say "captain" (but that could also just be the different qualities of their voices). re: vocals, more vocal excellence from odysseus (have i mentioned "and ithaca's waiting etc" yet?), and polites sounds so fucking good constantly, and eurylochus has such a consistent tone through his whole verse. re: polites, a lot of the other voices in this musical are kind of standard fare (respectfully! i love theater voices genuinely) for what you imagine theater actors to sound like, but polites (played by steven dookie) has such a unique tone for this medium and i love it so so much. the soldier ensemble is insane too. from a compositional standpoint i LOVE the call and response, particularly on "so, captain, what's the plan? (captain, what's the plan?)" + that section where the soldiers echo odysseus that comes right after that. i didn't think this would beat just a man when i started this, but i was very wrong. very very wrong.

5. polyphemus

i don't want to talk about plot OR musicality, first. i want to talk about sound design. the choice of the particular sound effects that were used with the reverb and the overlapping noises from the sheep paint a very clear picture indeed of polyphemus's cave. (something that definitely did not hurt to accomplish this end was the teaser video where odysseus, eurylochus, and polites were in the dark holding candles (? i think, some kind of small light sources at least).) audio panning was also present in the intro for this track, i would say up until polyphemus starts to sing it's pretty prevalent, and audio panning is my favorite thing you can do to establish spatial understanding in non-visual media. okay, moving on. in this song, odysseus directly parrots polyphemus's words and melody, and this is a theme that continues in the other songs the two are both in. this also, to me, shows that one of the layers of his plan is to make himself seem more agreeable to polyphemus (which in itself as a fact i think is rather clear in terms of plot, but i think the specific methodology from a compositional standpoint is fun). AND JUST TO SAY: the moment at the beginning where this suddenly becomes a horror musical made my heart drop through my ass in the best possible way. i had to stand up for the rest of the saga because sitting down limited my range of motion too much and i had to go insane. in terms of characterization, we know that odysseus is smart and resourceful mostly from what we hear about him from others, but i feel like this song is the first one where we see that firsthand. i love this song.

4. warrior of the mind

the first song i had to just sit with and loop for a while (i did the same with just a man, but several days later upon relisten). athena's vocals never fail to astound me, teagan earley's tone is so clear and strong, and this is kind of specific but i like the choices she made on vowel placement, particularly on that last "mind" in the first chorus. also, i'm not even going to beat around the bush: i'm a trumpet player, i've been playing trumpet for theater and in other contexts for almost a decade now, and when i heard that low trumpet line underscoring the first establishment of the melody in the chorus, i KNEW an octave kick was coming and i was THRILLED when it delivered so perfectly. i don't know if it's synth trumpet or a live musician, i assume synth just for ease of production, but either way, i'm obsessed with it. absolutely a fantastic composition choice when it comes to ramping up the energy of the second half of that chorus. again in regards to composition: obsessed with odysseus's harmonic line in the second chorus. it took me a while to pick the notes out because i go a little harmony-blind sometimes when i'm too busy ooh-ing and ahh-ing but once i got that line in my head i was all about it.

(did not think this section would be so wordy, but) what this song shows about athena in my eyes is her fondness for odysseus--which sounds obvious until you remember how zeus interacted with him vs how athena does. athena gets close to talking down to odysseus sometimes, yes, but in more of a human, sarcastic way ("you'll see where it ends"). one could argue that the entire intro is her condescending to him in some way, certainly, but when she almost immediately also establishes that she sees the merit in his skills and his mind and has for some time now, it takes away the sort of preachy sound that was there when zeus was doing it. again in the characterization vein it shows odysseus's spirit, the more childish side of him (of course, because he was younger for much of this song) that we don't get to see in the songs that are set in the "present" period. in warrior of the mind, we see odysseus, the boy. in all the other songs, we see odysseus, the king.

anyway. i adore this song. if that wasn't, like. clear.

3. survive

THE ECHO OF THE HORSE AND THE INFANT. MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR. people other than me have said that this could be a way of showing that the fight with polyphemus is the will of the gods and i can see the merit in that standpoint but i also think that this is, in this telling at least (which is a distinction i make because i started the odyssey literally today and read maybe 10 pages before i had to go to class so i don't concretely know the details), showing that this is the first real conflict odysseus and the soldiers have been in since the seige of troy. also interesting to note: this song, if i'm not mistaken, is actually in compound meter at least in certain parts (before u fight me on this take a second to count it both ways, i'm not even entirely sure because of how i've been feeling the pulse). also, this reestablishes what i said earlier about polyphemus and odysseus parroting each other, but in this case i think it's polyphemus trying to do as much damage to odysseus and the soldiers as possible, certainly more like mocking them than trying to communicate on their level. (but also, melodic repeats are kind of just how music works, lol. remember when i said u might start to think im pretentious?)

now, maybe this is my sympathetic lens for odysseus showing, i fully admit that bias and own up to any way it may skew my judgement, but in that first chorus, i feel like odysseus isn't just trying to rally his men but to find the will in himself to fight as well. after the long war in troy and being confronted with polites's ideology, i would certainly be weary and sick of fighting. something about "it's just one life to take / and when we kill him then our journey's over" sounds so self-consoling to me. idk! maybe just me!

i'm, uh. not gonna talk much about the plot at the end, there. for obvious reasons, as someone who foolishly got attached to polites. we're gonna gloss over that. (fellow polites likers, how we feelin, though? we all coping?)

2. remember them

if you'll recall from many many paragraphs ago, i mentioned that in "just a man", i felt like there wasn't much emotion in odysseus's voice. this? the intro of this? this, to me, kind of makes up for that. and i mean the VERY beginning, the anger/intensity in that first verse. something that i noticed, that the fellow polites likers will be upset with me for pointing out, is that starting on "mark my words now" and through eurylochus asking "but captain, what'll we do with our fallen friends?", the guitar in the back is playing the melody of "we're up, we're off, and away we go" from "full speed ahead", the first song we hear from polites in. (sorry guys, if i was burdened with this knowledge you will be, too.)

this song and "polyphemus" both do a really good job of establishing horror-style tension. eurylochus's "there are more of them?" and what i would call horror sirens on the strings in the beginning of polyphemus are what i mean, here. it gives that nice stomach-swoopy feeling that recreational horror is so fond of. the ramping tension when eurylochus is pleading with odysseus to order them to run is fantastic too.

re: odysseus vocals. "my friend is dead! our foe is blind! the blood we shed, it never dries! is this what it means to be a warrior of the mind?!" will never NOT make me insane. it makes me want to scream, genuinely. and via the lyrics and instrumental sound we understand the ruthlessness of odysseus's vengeful side as well. again, possibly my sympathetic lens, but "let's grab the sheep and away we go" and during the argument up to that aforementioned point, odysseus just sounds tired to me.

also, i'm sure we all collectively shat our pants when we heard athena. i don't have much to comment on the matter further than that, but know that i was losing my fucking mind as soon as i heard her voice.

last thing: odysseus's choice of words when revealing his name is interesting to me. the "infamous" odysseus? infamy has a very negative connotation and maybe that's just him acknowledging that to polyphemus he'll always be painted in a negative light due to his actions in the cave, but it's an interesting choice in verbiage to me.

1. my goodbye

you were a fool if you thought this was ever gonna get anything other than first place of all the songs that are out so far. hearing athena and odysseus tear each other to pieces was so satisfying on the second listen with the new understanding that the partnership was sort of exhausting on both ends. i confess that my first thought right after i finished this song the first time was "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" but my SECOND one was "bro really wrote a breakup song and thought we wouldn't notice (but said with a positive connotation)". as far as i understand it, and i've asked questions about this so i'm fairly certain, there was nothing romantic in nature about the relationship between athena and odysseus (which i see as a good thing), and the song sounding like a breakup song is more a fun creative choice. and i DO think it's fun, in that case! so with that interpretation in mind, when i go back to the lyrics now, i think about how odysseus's original idea that he and athena would be friends was shot down and in this song i start to feel that maybe despite athena's best efforts they DID consider each other as friends. and of course i think that's intentional--that's why "you're not looking for a mentor, i'm not looking for a friend" cuts so deep.

there's also something in the way the two characters argue with each other that i find so compelling. i feel like athena is really trying to be right, or maybe not that she's trying to be right per se but that she's trying to make odysseus understand why he's wrong. odysseus, on the other hand, seems to be trying to hurt athena as much as possible, in as few words as possible. athena's argument has one core idea, and it's that odysseus is reckless/unfit to be her disciple because he's too emotional. odysseus, on the other hand, brings up several points, like 5 or 6 different little gripes about athena that he's probably been holding onto for who-knows-how-long. it just shows how the focus is entirely different on both parts and i like it a lot LOL

vocals absolutely deliver of course, that goes without saying. and i made that point earlier about how i felt odysseus didn't show much emotion in voice, and maybe this is just me being the #1 jorge rivera-herrans defender or something but i feel like a sort of detached-ness was intentional this time. like odysseus saying, "you can't fire me, because i quit." that's not entirely me being biased, i think the language reflects it too: "this way, you'll close the door and have your damn goodbye." that sounds dismissive to me, and the way that he previously frames athena leaving as something that would be good for him ("this way, you won't plague my life").

anyway….. less of a ranking and more of a song analysis where the songs just so happen to also be ranked. this was originally gonna be on my priv twitter, but the character limit was driving me up the wall, so. here.

#epic the musical #epic the troy saga #epic the cyclops saga #momo this one's for u. HEARTS4MOMO

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doraambrose · 2 months

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I made the decision to delete my previous post because it was childish and stupid of me to even respond in the first place. But I want to address and thank the people who commented under it for allowing me to see a different point of view with "correcting" headcannons.

I really want to address the first comment.

First, yes, I'm not going to disagree with headcannons that I agree with? And they're usually backed up with information to support it. I'm pretty sure, even in my post regarding jasons race, I mentioned that I could totally see where ppl were coming from with the headcannons about jason being Asian. It's not that I don't like race headcannons. It's that I, personally, am more canon driven, so I like when headcannons can be backed up. But I've always tried to put a disclaimer in my posts that I'm not trying to shame people for having headcannons and that everyone's free to do whatever they want. Basically, I've never said or tried to convey the notion that headcannons aren't okay, I've only ever said that I, personally, didn't like some of them.

This post in reference was different because it was so out there and it didn't seem like satire that I felt the need to respond. It was talking about how jason is afrolatino because he reads books and loves women but doesn't date white women and he lived in the ghetto. But normally, I don't go and comment under ppls posts saying their wrong for thinking jason is black or brown or whatever. I also just didn't like this person's energy, and for good reason apparently because they responded with insults and then proceeded to visit my page just to call me a loser.

I will admit that in the past, I have been very "erm actually" and being the wet blanket on ppls fun and that's not cool. I sincerely thank the people who have responded to my comments in general and have kind of made me realize that I was being rude so I apologize and I'm trying to be better about it.

And I'm not going to give you guys some long paragraph explaining why I'm not racist and I'm not gonna pull anything like "I have black friends, etc." I know I'm not because I don't see people of a different race as less than me and I don't make assumptions based on race and you're just gonna have to believe me or don't.

Anyway, I hope this clears things up and I don't have a lot of time to proof read this and ive never been great with words so if there's anything confusing or not worded right and my intent isn't clear, I will try to fix it later

Thanks friends

#jason todd #batfam #red hood #dc comics #batman #bruce wayne #dc universe #dcu #dick grayson #nightwing

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samantha-rae-velcher · 1 year

Text

Tune-up Pt. 2

Paz Vizsla x Fem reader

Requested by: none

Warnings: Smut!! Sexual tension! Fingering! Cockpit sex! Degrading! Swearing!

A/n: 18+ NSFW! If you don't like the warnings please don't read! PLS KEEP MY COMMENT SECTION AGGRESSION FREE!

Summary: The Armorer's forge is malfunctioning and she needs a new part, so Din calls on Y/n so she can have a look at it. Unfortunately the part they need is rare, she knows where one is but it's extremely expensive. So she decides that she'll steal it from the owner, but she can't go alone. She'll need muscle, and Paz Vizsla is more than happy to accompany her.

___

It has been a year and four months since the Mandalorians came to Y/n's hanger for repairs, now here she was getting a message from Din.

"What?" She asked. "You don't come back to Zikos for a damn year, and now your calling me up and asking me to fix some shit?"

"You're the only person I trust with the location of the covert." Din replied.

There was only silence on Y/n's end, she hasn't left her planet in a long time and she never does drop-in fixes. She tapped her fingers on her control panel and sighed.

"Okay, send me the coordinates. I'll be there as soon as I can, and this better not be some horseshit....fuckin....thing that isn't in dire need to be repaired or I'll kill you."

She ended the communication and leaned back in her chair. Y/n went over to her bed, pulling out a bag and throwing some clothes in. She went out into the hanger and threw some tools and supplies she'll need to fix whatever it was that needed fixin.

Y/n was about to head out the door when she heard a few beeps from B-3.

"I need you to hold shit together until I get back. I don't know when that's gonna be but try and keep this place clean and working. I love you guys!" She yelled to him and the rest of her many droids.

Y/n opened the door to her rather large ship, walking inside and setting down her bags of tools and clothes. She got in the cockpit and started it up, the rumble was smooth thanks to her always taking care of her ship.

"Why can't people take better care of their things?" She asked nobody. "I mean....do they like paying me?"

Y/n punched in the coordinates and made her way out of the atmosphere. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair, remembering the last time she saw Din, there was that big Mando with him. What was his name?....

"Paz Vizsla." The memory of his voice passing through her mind.

"It's been a year, he's probably found a woman....a Mandalorian woman...." The thought made her sigh.

She smiled up at the ceiling of her ship. "You should've seen I'm, Girl. He was big...not like you but he was still big. He had blue armor and this huge fuckin blaster cannon that made me wanna just...."

Y/n trailed off, biting her lip.

"I wonder what that body looks like under all that armor....."

___

Din stood at the entrance of the cave waiting for Y/n, she should've been here by now. Bo Katan walked out and looked up at the sky.

"Not here yet?" She asked.

"Nope."

"Are you sure she's coming?"

"She said she was." Din sounded more than disappointed.

Suddenly the sound of boots on sand was heard coming around the corner, Bo and Din quickly pulled out their blasters and pointed it at the person.

Y/n held up her hands and tilted her head.

"Really!? I can't fix it if I'm dead!" She yelled. "What is it anyway?"

Bo and Din looked at each other and put their blasters away. They waved her over and began walking into the covert.

"Oh! So now I get the silent treatment? What is this mystical...fuckin...hush hush...secretive...fuckin...fly half way across the galaxy to fix some unknown rickety ol' piece of shit!?"

Her voice carried through the covert right over to Paz, he chuckled when he heard her yelling.

"She's here." He said.

The Armorer nodded and kept messing around with her closet of hammers and different tools.

Bo, Y/n, and Din entered the small cavern. Her gaze landed on Paz, making her heart race. Din pointed at the forge and led Y/n over to it.

"You're fuckin with me right?" She asked.

Din shook his head.

"Did you try turning it on?" The sarcasm in her voice made Bo hold back a laugh.

"Can you fix it?" Din asked.

"What's wrong with it?" She turned to the Armorer. "You look like you basically crawled out of this fuckin thing, what seems to be the trouble with it?"

The Armorer made her way over. "It won't turn on."

"Shit." Y/n cursed.

"Don't tell me you already know what's wrong with it." Bo said.

Y/n sat on the rock floor of the cavern, she popped the siding off of the forge. She pulled out some wires and more paneling and finally ripped out a black cube that was partially melted.

"How old it this forge exactly?"

"I do not know." The Armorer said. "Why?"

"Well because, what we got here is a 7/1K-90-TX1."

Din huffed. "Which is?"

"Mando, this isn't any old piece of hardware. This is an extremely rare part, I doubt you'll be able to find one in this quadrant."

"What about you?" Bo asked.

"Me?" Y/n tapped her foot and looked between The Armorer and Bo. Then her gaze fell on Din, he had his head tilted and he was standing kinda sideways.

"Don't look at me like that." She said.

"Can you get one?"

Y/n stared at him for a good six seconds before taking a deep breath.

"It's in a dangerous area, it's expensive, and the guy who is selling it is a real....and I the kindest way....a real fuckin asshole!"

"Y/n, can you get it?" Din repeated.

"Who's paying for it? You?"

"Who says you have to pay for it?"

"Oh no! No! No! No! You said I was supposed to come here and fix something not come here, look at something, then go somewhere else and steal the part for it, then come back and fix it!" She yelled.

Din shifted to lean on his other leg and crossed his arms over his chest. Y/n knew he wasn't gonna let her leave unless she agreed to do it. Suddenly she struck upon a brilliant idea, she could ask for someone to go with her.

"I'm not going alone." Y/n said. "Ill need muscle just in case I get into a jam, preferably someone who is strong, big...can handle themselves in a fire fight..."

The Armorer turned to the larger Mandalorian.

"Paz Vizsla, Would you be willing to accompany her on her journey?" She asked.

Y/n chuckled. "I wouldn't call it a journey, it's just a quick run to get a part."

Paz straightened up, he looked over at Y/n.

"I'll go."

"Splendid!" Y/n basically shouted. "We're taking my ship because I don't trust whatever has been left to rust on that beach."

___

Y/n sat in the piolets chair while Paz stood in the doorway of the cockpit, she typed in the coordinates and turned to face him.

"Well don't you look delicious just standing there." She teased.

Paz was stunned by her comment, he tilted his head and leaned against the door frame. Y/n got out of her chair and slowly made her way to him, her eyes ran marathons across his body making him stiffen up.

"Why are you so tense big boy? Are you used to the girls that you can't see? The ones that are so afraid of your station that they cant speak their minds?" She asked.

Y/n pressed her hand between his legs, feeling just how hard she's gotten him.

"I'm not afraid." She whispered.

Y/n smiled when she heard his breath hitch through his helmet.

"You're really not used to the playful type are you, Vizsla?"

"No." His response was quick, and it sounded almost impatient.

"I think your deprived of a woman's touch, it's made you weak."

He suddenly stood up straight, towering over her. Paz pushed her against the wall and dragged his hand over her body, drawing a whimper from her.

"Not so playful now are you?" He growled. "All talk until your trapped like prey."

Paz moved closer, his helmet right against her ear.

"Because that's all you are, prey."

He pressed his knee between her legs and ground into her, Y/n gasped at the sudden movement and gripped his biceps.

"What's the matter?" He asked. "Too much?"

"I-....P-please."

"Where's that sarcastic tone, huh?"

Paz replaced his knee with his hand and began rubbing against her clothed pussy. Her jaw went slack and a sinful moan left her mouth, making Paz chuckle.

"Good girl." He whispered. "Learn who's in control."

He pulled his cock from his flight suit and took hold of her hand, guiding her to stroke him. She whimpered at the meer girth of him, swiping her thumb over the tip and spreading his precum as lubricant.

Paz suddenly removed her trousers, hoisted her up onto his hips and pressed her hard against the wall. He watched her reaction as he slowly slid his fingers into her, pumping them at a quick pace. Paz curled his thick digits, and stared teasing her clit with his thumb.

"You like that, Mesh'la?"

Y/n gripped his shoulders attempting to keep herself stable. She buried her face in his neck, crying out when her first orgasm his and her hot fluid ran down his fingers.

Y/n felt his cock at her entrance, her hold on him tightened and she prepared herself.

"Are you ready, little one?" He asked.

"Mm-hm."

"I need to hear you say it."

"Y-yes....Please, I need you."

Paz smirked, he had her wrapped around his finger. She has put on that tough act from day one and now here she was just about begging for his cock.

Y/n bit his shoulder as he thrusted into her hard, the feeling spread through her entire body and made her almost scream. Paz rubbed her back and held her close, easing her through it.

"You're such a good girl. You take my cock so well, Mesh'la."

Paz finally started deep slow thrusts, hitting all the right spots. He ran his fingers through her hair, making a fist. Y/n groaned and let her hands roam his large form, just wanting more of him.

"F-fuck! I- ahh! Paz..." Y/n arched her back, their chests pressing together. "Oh god...I'm gonna-"

She was cut off by Paz suddenly pulling out, he led her further into the cockpit and pressed her front half down onto the control panel. Paz lined himself back up and thrusted in once more, making Y/n grip the edge of the panel.

He rutted into her hard, teasing her clit and whispering filthy things in her ear, pushing her closer and closer to her release.

"Who's my pretty little slut?" He growled.

"Mmm."

He gripped her shoulder and slammed back into her hard, making Y/n bite her lip and moan.

"Who?"

"M-me. I am....oh god- please don't stop!"

Paz snaked his large hand around her neck and squeezed, with his other he quickened his pace against her clit.

Y/n's head fell to the control panel, her orgasm hitting her making her cry out. She pressed back against him, Paz leaned forward to where his chest was rested on her back. He growled, spilling his warm release into her. Riding out his high, Paz kept up deep slow thrusts.

"Good little pet...." He whispered.

Paz sat in the piolets chair, pulling her onto his lap. He pushed her legs open so she was on display for whoever decided to fly past. Paz's fingers slid down to her clit, rubbing tight slow circles.

Y/n was still dazed from her orgasm, she turned her head and gave him a confused look.

"Wha-"

She was interrupted by the dark chuckle that came from behind his helmet.

"Oh, we aren't finished yet."

THE END ❤️

Should I do a Part 3?

I hope you enjoyed

Reblogs are welcome 🤗

#fyp #foryou #fanfic #foryoupage #x reader #smut #paz vizla x reader #paz vizsla x you #paz vizsla #paz vizsla x fem!reader #paz vizsla x female reader #paz vizsla smut #the mandalorian x female reader #the mandalorian x y/n #the mandalorian season 3 #the mandolorian x you #the mandalorian x you #the mandaloria/reader #the mandalorian x f!reader

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papa-evershed · 11 months

Note

I’m curious… what do you think are the sexiest gifs of Rob EVER? 😏 I’d love to see ‘em.

I apologize for my late answer but like a weirdo, I was just convinced that my choices would somehow be disappointing. 😅🙈 I just feel like most people are going to expect gifs of kissing scenes or skin but those aren't even the ones that make me the most feral. But I'll give it a shot. 😂

As always, under a read more for length but also for cringe worthy fangirling and NSFW thirst-talk.

Immediately, my first thought was this gif. When I say I adore this man's belly I fucking mean it. He's just so deliciously man-shaped. Tall and thick and soft in all the right places. I love a belly, lets me know that a person isn't too militant and allows themselves to indulge in life's pleasures. 😏😏 (I'm reading way too much into a belly but here we are.) Add in the fact that in this specific scene, Martin Evershed is being the ultimate soft, caring Dad™. He has every reason in the world to lose his shit on Sam but instead he actively chooses to be what she needs in that moment and it's just incredibly sexy because he is a whole ass Man™. I just wrote a fucking novel about this one gif but listen, there's a reason it's first that comes to mind.

The thumb in the mouth? 🙃

Speaking of Act On This, this one too. I'm not even sure if I can put my finger on exactly why this specific gif is one of my favorites. Perhaps because he's usually so smiley (which I adore) that a rare serious/stern look wrecks me. Another reason I want him cast as a villain. Just...yes, sir.

And on the flip side, these because he's just so soft again. I fucking love soft men, ones who don't seem to have that drive to constantly perform their own personal version of hyper-masculinity. (also, I'd suck a random dick off the street to get this in HQ)

I'm a simple creature and I like profiles, noses, and tits.

Like I said, I'm a simple creature and I am no better than any man.

When the right men manspread at the right time? Yes. Yes, that.

When Dad™ shows up to save the day? Get that man a beer and a blowjob.

And while I love it when a man is great with kids...I also think it's incredibly sexy when he's tired of their bullshit cause aren't we all sometimes? 😅

FUZZY GREY NECK? say no more. Also, I'd stand in a three hour long line to wait my turn to ride his thigh like he was the carousel at Disney World. I said what I said.

Hutch. Just Hutch. Everything about the character was sexy. And bless this t-shirt. The shoulders. The arms. The fuzzy neck. The nose. He could 100% talk me into sleeping in that creepy ass cabin and much like Phil, we'd also wake up naked and calling out to God.

Annnd because I feel like it's expected and it does deserve attention, this kiss with Papa E. Listen. Listen. So many fucking onscreen kisses go from 0 to 60 in .000005 seconds. Just immediate face-fucking right out the gate. And IDK about y'all but that shit just isn't enjoyable in real life. Don't assault my fucking face like a Dallas Cowboy's linebacker. 🙃 Ease into it. Warm up. Mr. Evershed will patiently take his time making you so anxiously desperate for more that when he finally does deepen that kiss your lips will be eagerly wet and ready...heh. 🙈

Anyway. 😳 I've been really good about not being thirsty on main anymore and this is still quite tame for me but I'm gonna stop now because this post could go on all night. 🫠

#y'all can't see me like this

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quintenrosenburgwrites · 5 months

Text

mirren sketches >:)

lyrics are from Mixed Messages and Red Flags btw

OH ALSO i wrote some dialogue stuff, see under the read more! warning for some humor that's way more nsfw than i'd usually post (i mean. come on. it's dialtown. they're awkward as hell. they're obviously gonna say something questionable /lh) also some more serious stuff (self hate issues, depression, anxiety)

Nice/Fun stuff:

- They say pretty much everything that comes to mind, and once they get a train of thought it doesn't take long for it to derail and crash through a small community, leaving a trail of destruction behind it. TLDR they're really rambly.

"Birthdays are kinda weird. Like obviously there's the whole counting down to your death thing, but also, like. You're basically celebrating the anniversary of you getting evicted from your mom's, uh. You know. Okay that sounded REALLY, extremely, UNCOMFORTABLY Freudian. Can we PLEASE pretend I never said that? Thanks. Oh, right, the murder case."

- They have a tendency to just accept things and move on without commenting further.

"Oh. You lay eggs. Anyways, can you help me break into the ticket booth? I need to check the entry records."

- They're a fucking dork /pos (They're really sweet, but in a convoluted way)

"I, uh, please don't think this is weird, but I made characters for both of us! This one's named May, and they're kinda a failure. They failed their parents, they failed their old best friend, they failed their job. They used to think they had no redeeming qualities. Then, one day, they meet the other character, Ginger. Ginger seems terrifying initially, and even if it isn't obvious at first, they're not actually human. Ginger and May go on a journey in which May tries to learn magic in order to protect people and redeem themself for their past actions, even though they despise the idea of learning magic, but, eventually... Ginger helps them see their own value, helps May see that they're a person too. They are allowed to be selfish sometimes, they're just as worthy of happiness as anyone else. And, uh, maybe... Maybe that saved their life a bit. And maybe, May is allowed to do things for themself sometimes. Ginger means a whole lot to May, even if they have trouble expressing it, and... uh, I guess that's everything. Um. What do you think?"

Serious, bad stuff:

- They see very little value in themself, and tend to expect others to insult or make fun of them. To combat this, they typically are quick to insult themself, in an attempt to get there before anybody else can. It hurts less if they're the one saying it.

"And before you say it! I know it's super annoying when people are constantly insulting themselves, cause like it comes off as compliment seeking, right? I promise that's not what I'm trying to do, I'm just kinda trying to warn you I guess? But, uh, that's still no excuse, and I can totally just shut up if you want! Or, wait, I shouldn't have assumed it's annoying you, I could just be restating what you're thinking? I mean, the things I'm saying about myself aren't exactly incorrect- Just, let me know if I'm being annoying. I'd rather shut up than annoy you, haha. ha. Wow, that sounded fake."

- They tend to blame everything on themself, and act very self destructively.

"Oh god, this is all my fucking fault, I'm so sorry. It's okay if you hate me- or, no, you SHOULD hate me! Fuck, I'm- Why did you even talk to me in the first place?! Do you realize- If you just- You would've been better off if you just walked past me and ignored me! I need to- This is for your wellbeing, being around me is only gonna make things worse for you. I'll be fine, just- Don't follow me. I mean, I don't know why you would in the first place."

- They put everyone else before themself.

"I need to make it up to them, even if I ruin my life in the process. It's not like my life was looking particularly bright in the first place, which is entirely my own fault, so, y'know. Yeah."

#fanart #dialtown #dialtown fanart #dialtown oc #oc #mirren dialtown #oliver dialtown #oliver swift #dialtown oliver #phonegingi #dialtown phonegingi #dialtown phone dating sim #tw: depression #tw: anxiety

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chemistryread · 2 years

Text

disclaimers/tags: female oc. written as a reader insert but reader has a lot of backstory. slowburn. angst. implied domestic violence. minors dni.

a/n: some rash decisions on this one, get ready! if you love angst as much as me, this can be read as the ending, but there’s another chapter coming :) also very sorry at how long this post is, but i really wanted to make this story 4 chapters so ! anyways, enjoy and thanks all of u who have liked, rbed or commented in some way 🫶

right cowboy, wrong time

rhett abbott

part 1

part 2

summary: you’re not home and your boyfriend’s a dick. thankfully, not all cowboys are bad.

"Did you sleep with someone else?"

"Did you?"

That was basically it.

(There was a lot of screaming and attempted emotional blackmailing you don’t bring up. What would be the point?)

You're retelling the events to Dani, working side by side with her.

A kid had joined the staff, and since he's still in school he needs the night shift. Now, you're bumped back to mornings alongside your friend. Things are looking up.

"I can't believe it was solved with one non-violent conversation."

She's actively ignoring the marks in your arms but you take her selective blindness as good-spirited. Focus on the good.

With that in mind, you don't mention how close you got to apologizing and taking it back when he questioned your ability to be alone. Saying you'd only fall on hard times once more and return to him for help. But...you were alone before him, and you were okay before him. It will work.

"I know. I mean, I'm not at all under the impression that he’s not planning some sort of revenge, mulling it over. He'll still be around for another two weeks. And we can't pretend that didn't play a huge part into how well he took it."

"Took it. Right." She laughs, handing you the clean menus to set on the counter. "Be honest. He was aware that this was the only way to do it without exhibiting lack of power. Like it was beyond anyone's control."

During your conversation, it was made clear that he did not yield, you agreed it was unsalvageable. Stupid to keep trying. And he wasn’t stupid. Dani’s right.

"Hey, I'm not disagreeing. Or complaining."

Her smile falters and you frown.

"I have to say, though, I was convinced you would not fall for him."

She shoves the pen and paper in your hands, along with three menus, and spins you around towards the tables.

If it isn't the little Abbotts and Amelia. Just your luck.

You do not regret it. At all. It would be spoiled of you to.

However, it obviously soured things between you and Rhett. Which is precisely what you did not want.

You meant it, when you said you didn't want to be one of his girls. In a way. You would either take him (yes, take him) out on a date and do the whole process with an open heart, or shut him out and remain nothing but the friendly waitress until you left for home and never saw him again.

The way things are right now, you can't possibly do either with an honest face.

And honesty is a huge thing for you. The motivator behind admitting to being unfaithful that night, putting yourself in a risky situation in front of your boyfriend. Ex.

Amy's smile when she sees you approach the table helps you believe in the good things again, even if only for a couple of minutes.

"Yes! I told my dad, if any of the other girls tried to serve us, I was gonna fake cry until we got you."

Rhett avoids you, taking a coin left as part of the tip from the previous seaters and flipping it between his fingers.

You wink at her and point your pen to Perry, before clicking it. "You're raising her right. What can I, and only I, get you guys?"

His cap is not wide enough to hide the circles under his eyes, and he orders a standard hangover breakfast. You exchange shy nods, but it's not confident.

Amelia’s next.

"And if I could have that with a side of that story your stupid boyfriend didn't want to read, please?"

Your jaw hangs open. She's a rockstar.

"Amy, she said no once, don't push it."

She glares at her uncle.

Perry adds, “And don't call people stupid."

"But he was! Stupid and rude."

Your giggle draws the table's eyes.

"No, he was. About time we broke up."

Her dad looks impressed, like he thought he would never see the day. It bothers you a little. You don't have the guts to look at Rhett, even if you can feel his eyes on you.

"Really?" She asks excited, and you nod. "Cool! So you can marry my dad or uncle Rhett and then you'll be in the family forever."

"Jesus."

"Amy!"

You laugh again. These men do not appreciate her humour and it's kind of sad.

"I'm too young to get married, kid! I'm not a child bride." It flies over her head but Perry laughs. You'll win him over someday. "About the story, I'm afraid I got rid of that one, it wasn't good. But when I start working on something new I'll ask you for help, deal?"

She nods with tight lips, silky straight hair shaking down her shoulders.

"Good. I'll be right back with your food."

It’s a busy morning, so they had no choice but to sit at an unclean table. You’re retrieving the plates, stacking them up against your left arm and shoving the bills into your apron’s pocket. That’s when Rhett taps the coin on the table three times, startling you.

Your eyes snap to his. Unreadable. Pupils large, deep blue flooding your insides. Nearly choking on it. He offers you the coin, you open your palm, and he drops it. All whilst maintaining eye contact. Honestly, you feared breaking it, as if the second you did your memories of each other would be erased. He doesn’t look away. Your eyebrows furrow, blinking a couple of times, clearing your throat and walking away with a weak step.

Dani mouths, what the fuck?

Your best guess is none, shrugging and taking the dirty dishes to the kitchen.

They eat peacefully, and you suspect Amelia got a talking to from her father because she sticks to polite smiles when you serve them.

They leave as you take another family's order. Back at the counter, Danielle kicks you in the calf.

"What?"

Your coworker simply nods to the back. The butterflies in your stomach can only mean one person.

Stubbornly, you fight off the urge to fix yourself or take in your reflection off the windows before stepping outside to meet Rhett.

He looks cuddly in a hoodie.

"What are you smiling at?"

Hearing his mumbled teasing is like being lift straight out of hell and into heaven.

"What do you want?"

"Asked you first."

You bite the inside of your cheek, hands clasped behind your back, playing with your rings. Hiding your nerves from him.

"Cool hoodie you got on."

"Fuck off."

You two burst into outright gross, happy giggles.

"So?"

"Were you gonna tell me you broke up?"

Your answer is fire rapid, delighting in petty revenge. "No. It's not like I'm running away with you."

He tsks once, hit.

"Right. But if you'd like to-"

"Don't." No, don't look at me like that. "I can't. Not yet."

He takes a deep breath, as if entirely too used to your bullshit, and steps closer. You let him.

"Explain."

"Yes, well, one of his ventures sailed off in Montana. He's going to move there for a while. But not yet." He looks too hopeful, and the full story scratches up your throat. "He knows I slept with someone."

A more somber expression, but he still doesn't get it. Briefly, you wonder if 'sleeping with' was too formal for what you actually did together.

"He doesn't know it's you." Your arms fall back to your sides, nails digging into your palms. "If he finds out-"

"I can handle him. Trust me."

"Look, hotshot, it's not about that. Sure, he'd probably threaten to punch any other guy who had his way with me. But one of you? And it's not like you took advantage of me, I chose you. I- I seeked you out. I wanted you. That's a whole other…I've seen what he can do when he's actually mad. When he loses. He'll want to fucking kill you."

"He's not that dangerous. You're being ridiculous."

"Hey, don't tell me I'm being ridiculous when I have suffered in his hands." He doesn't say anything to that. "Just get this through your proud little thick skull…If he hurts you because of me, it'll hate myself. Spare me, okay?"

His features soften at your confession. You wish he would simply accept circumstances for his own well-being, but if he won't, you'll appeal to his sensitive side.

"When does he leave?"

"Two weeks. I'm moving in with Dani tonight."

You didn't protest when she offered the extra room at her place, wanting out of that house before his brothers could give you a piece of their minds.

Rhett squints at the sun, hands on his hips, worn gloves poking out of his pant's pockets. He looks so much younger in the green cap and a plain gray hoodie.

"I can wait two weeks."

You want to run up to him, kiss the breakfast grease off his lips until Danielle calls you back inside to help her, run your fingers through his hair, feel the fabric tasked with warming him up.

Instead, scared he doesn't want any of that, you roll your eyes amusedly and run up the steps. You should set a calendar reminder for two weeks from now.

——————————

Thirteen days. He leaves tomorrow, finally.

In the meantime, he uncharacteristically leaves you alone. It's a very peaceful time in your life.

Rhett comes to the diner from time to time. You bump into each other at the shop and he ends up helping you put away the groceries at Danielle's, where he sees the begonias in a vase by the window. He relocates them to a better spot.

He learns more about your university and you about his family.

You put that knowledge to test one afternoon, when he comes by during your break and asks if you want to have lunch at his house. Royal eats very little and quickly returns to work, just as you had been told he would. Amy skipped school because she woke up particularly down and missing her mother (probably why Rhett thought of inviting you), therefore Perry eats even less but spends more time at the table, just looking at his daughter. You feel for him, really.

Cecilia is the one who suggests you go rest under the shade while Perry helps her clean up. You get the sense his mood is entirely affected by his daughter's, so mother and son need a moment to talk.

Amelia sits between you and Rhett, all three quietly eating fresh strawberries.

"Grandpa did say somebody messed with them. They're not as good."

You disagree. They taste pretty delicious for you, who's in the midst of licking the juice off your lips, satisfied.

But you know what she means, unfortunately. So you purposefully avoid Rhett's eyes, leaning back against the tree trunk and guiltly keeping your mouth shut.

He assured you this has happened for as long as he remembers being neighbors with your ex and his brothers.

Trying to dissipate the tension in the air, you poke Amy on the side.

"I've been writing something. Wanna read it?"

She almost drools when she smiles, shoving the open jar on her uncle's stomach and getting him sticky with splashed strawberry juice.

Reaching for your phone, you remember something.

"Oh, I bought a really pretty vase to put the even prettier flowers you got me, look!"

Rhett sits up awkwardly beside his niece as you show her a picture of the golden hour sunlight shining on the pink begonias.

"I didn't get you any flowers." She matches your confused expression. "I've been told off by grandma way too many times from messing around in her garden to do it again. But it does look really pretty."

Rhett's cheeks are burning red, and your stomach is doing flips.

Completely lost for words, you switch from the photos app to a Google drive document and hand the little girl your phone with tremendous trust. Kids are brutally honest.

"Here. It's, uhm, a horror short."

She picks it up with toddler-like grabby hands and sits back to enjoy it like it's a new young adult best seller.

Your eyes are still on the boy next to her, who's holding your gaze in an electric back and forth.

"Can I read it?"

"No."

After devouring four-thousand words, Amelia runs back to the house, shaking your phone at her dad's face, practically bragging that you let her read something of yours. Her first impression is pretty positive, if not over-the-top, and she tells you she'll write down her ideas and 'get back to you'.

Everyone chuckles when you shake her hand as if this was a business meeting. Her being the big publishing agent, of course.

Cecilia makes a comment about rushing back home, there being a lot of work to be done, when you gather your stuff so Rhett can drive you back to the diner. You simply smile at her.

You're biting your tongue, busying yourself with lowering the passenger side's window, but Rhett's getting a little too good at reading you.

"Speak now or-"

"I'm not dumb, you don't have to protect me." He laughs, unphased by your random instances of snappiness. "Of course it has something to do with me, Rhett. You think people don't talk?"

"We're not even doing anything."

"But there's a 'we', that's enough to create gossip. And I told him I had been with someone. The fight at the bar, the 4th when you knocked on his door holding my coat…You really think he hasn't put everything together?"

He's quiet. Rhett is not stupid, what he is is inconsequential. He thinks everything will always be ok.

"We have fought over girls before, it's always been like this."

It stings, to be put in such a common role in his life.

"Well," He turns his head your way, hearing how your voice wavers, and you cross your arms defensively. "I'm glad they didn't worry like I do, but I do. Your family has nothing to do with this. Your dad shouldn't have this put on his plate too."

"He'll be fine, trust me, he likes the work. He lives for it. Always has, since we were little boys. He's fine."

You just don't want your ex-boyfriend and his brothers taking things too far.

"I think your mother doesn't like me anymore."

He cackles and you pout. Of course you sound silly, you know that. But maybe this is what it's all about. His family are good people. You don't want good people to dislike you, or go through anything bad because of you.

It's not their fault you cling to those who seem nice and helpful. Sometimes you forget yourself. That you have been and can be alone. Being single is a great moment to capitalize on your independence, accept it. At least that way you won’t take anyone down with you.

Fingers snapping pull you out of your self-reproach.

"Don't…Don't spiral over what she said, alright? She just wants me to stick to the work, be responsible and stuff. Not wander off."

"Maybe you should."

Blue eyes search yours for a sign that you're kidding. Infuriating that you can't trust yourself not to breakdown around Rhett, you look straight ahead. One block away from the diner.

Your body is free of the seatbelt before the light can turn green again. "I can get out here, it's fine."

He doesn't move, and you stare at each other for what feels like minutes. Then he swallows, looks down, and unlocks the doors.

You hop out, carefully stepping around the car and onto the sidewalk. He calls out your name and a shiver runs down your spine, both because of how heartbreakingly confused he sounds and because you're scared one of your ex-boyfriend's brothers or friends just heard Rhett Abbott yell for you from his truck.

Turning around, you glance up and down the street, sighing in relief when everyone seems to continue their lives without noticing you two. You want to say sorry for being weird, for not being a better liar or knowing how to mask your feelings. But it would serve you more than him, at this point.

Instead, you step up to his window, hand closing around his own that is hanging halfway out and squeezing it.

All you say is, "Thank you."

——————————

You're a mess all day.

Spilled drinks, dropped knives and even a broken glass.

Danielle has to pull you out of your own head every five minutes, she's exhausted by the end of your shift.

You felt childish, telling her boy gossip at work. Ridiculous even, since she scrunches her nose when reminded the boy is Rhett Abbott.

Nothing against him, per se, he was just always such a predictable choice in high school, she had said. Good heart, though.

She ruthlessly mocks your insecurities but dutifully listens to your ramblings. Your worries about harming his family, moving on too fast, disappointing Amelia.

A wet dishcloth fight starts in the kitchen when she suggests you're in a little deeper than you had assumed. You hit her right across the stomach before she can profess the term 'in love'.

Because no, you refuse. He's a good boy, and you are attracted to him. You like him, obviously. Too obvious to deny. But you have to hold back.

Actually, until tomorrow. Perhaps that's why you're freaking out. When your ex leaves, everything becomes more real between you and Rhett. Or it's allowed to. It's your choice.

Dani and you are handing the night shift waiters your aprons when your phone pings.

"When was your last fun Saturday night? We're at the same bar as always. Danielles welcome. First rounds on us"

Somewhere in your texts - texting Rhett all day long at work was starting to get on Lenny's nerves, you should watch out - you had mentioned it was bound to be a girl's night at home, since Shiree was staying at a friend's for the night.

It's her first time too, so you had imagined pizza and wine to be a good way to keep Dani's heart at ease. But this could work too.

You show her the text, and she immediately smiles. You know it's been a while.

Eighteen. That's how old you were the last time you got to dress up as a single woman for a night out.

You're aware this isn't Boston, however. Tricking an entitled Harvard Law alumni into paying for your drinks is not up for grabs tonight, so you don't go too overboard. Still, Dani is a little speechless when she comes out of the shower. Right back at her, honestly (even though she definitely looks local and you don't).

Danielle drives to the bar, and you're already having a great time critiquing her stiff driving, begging her to relax.

"Wait, Perry's not thinking that we…"

"No, I don't think so."

"Good, makes things less awkward when you and his little brother make your eventual escape."

"That's not going to happen." She looks at you like she really doesn't believe that. You point two other trucks in the parking lot, owned by your ex and his brothers. "Even if I wanted to, it's not a good idea."

"Shit, I'm sorry. Do you want to leave? We can still get pizza."

You smile at her, sincere. You'll miss her so much.

"It's fine, I figured. It's his last day. Hopefully, we will all stay on different sides of the room and he will be enjoying his going-away party too much to care about lil' old me."

Perry's hand comes up as soon as you step inside.

Both of them do a doubletake of your outfit, lingering on the bright red cliché cowboy boots, but you decide to pretend you don't feel their eyes on your bare legs. Rhett gets up to greet you (you honestly didn't expect him to) and your words slip out before you can contain them.

"You smell good." He laughs, and Dani groans a playful 'oh my God' behind you. He's pink. You pat him in the shoulder with a sympathetic smile. "Sorry."

"I'll get another round."

Perry gets up to greet you as well and struts to the bar.

Rhett finds it strange when you take the seat across from him, instead of by his side, but you decide to stick to a good behaviour tonight.

The four of you fall easily into conversation. It's nice when they speak about their school memories and you get to listen, watch them remember and cringe at their old selves.

Your legs are stretched under the table, incidentally in between Rhett's spread legs. He gives you a small kick whenever he catches you looking over the divider to guarantee your ex is not searching for you. So far, so breezy. It's weird.

The other two drink faster, which is why, you assume, Dani jumped at the opportunity to dance with an old flame the minute he recognized her. Perry went to the bathroom.

It's just you and him.

He looks mostly sober and his tanned skin is glowing nicely under the bar's scarce lighting. His hair looks especially droopy.

You smile at him sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, I have to ask. The begonias. What was that about?"

"Oh, God. C'mon. Do you have to?"

The words push through gritted teeth, his entire body recoils in embarrassment.

You simply nod, leaning forward with a teasing grin.

When you do, your legs draw back, but not too much. He doesn't let them. His boots trap your ankles, dragging them forward, closer again.

Rhett’s pupils darken at the way you jump and you bite your cheeks so hard your dimples cave impossibly deep.

It'd be stupid not to take advantage of the moment. You blink slowly. "Please?"

Teeth trap his lower lip, but he quickly rolls his shoulders back.

"It was me. You figured that much." He looks at your for confirmation. Amelia wasn't subtle, and he was even less. "Why did I lie? Uhm, I- Shit, after you said you used to hang out with street racers, well, I felt like a loser giving you flowers from my mother's garden."

You laught at his face. Unabashedly. A nice surprise when he actually laughs along.

"Stupid, right?"

You love when he acts shy. Mousy.

"No. I never got flowers before. I would've liked knowing they were from you."

Your heart beats faster at how wide open this moment is. He did something no one has ever done for you, and you liked it. You liked that he did. And you just told him that.

"More than if they were from Amy?"

You can't look away from his eyes.

"Yes. But don't tell her that."

Perry scares the two of you by slapping the table. He's very much drunk.

"Your turn to get the drinks."

He points at Rhett, who hesitates before awkwardly smiling at you and sliding out of his seat.

The older Abbott is kind of all over the place, so you return his favor from many nights ago and look away, turning your attention to a very relaxed Danielle enjoying the dancefloor.

"I just talked to them in the toilet, you know." The brother finally directs his words at you. He must think you were looking for your ex's table. "They're not happy about this. At all. And they don't like when folks think they're idiots."

"I know. I don't mean to-"

"Yeah, you never do. But all of you who get obssessed with my little brother did not grow up here. You haven't dealt with- You don't know what these lands are like. Consequently, you don't understand the people. Who can blame you?"

You think obssessed is mean.

"I'm sorry, Perry."

"Appreciate that. Still should leave him alone. You've played with him long enough, don't you agree?"

You sip your beer. His eyes are looking past you, venting to no one in particular. Not personal.

"Right."

As a reflex, you look for Rhett. The reason why he is taking so long leaning next to him, making him stutter and laugh.

"Oh, yeah, and then there's that." Perry points the bottom of his beer at Maria. "Sixteen. The first time I saw him look at her like that, and he still does. Not a difference. My folks believe he'll marry her, if he ever gets the chance to."

"What are you saying, Perry?"

You're running out of patience. You never liked people who only spoke their true feelings when intoxicated, while you made an effort to be honest all the time. Well, guess you haven't been doing much of that here.

"Look, you're fine. But who are we kidding? You want big things, you go to a fancy school, you probably drink cocktails during happy hour."

You feel small when he laughs. His attention turns to his brother letting the beer sweat on the counter, transfixed on Maria talking. That's all she's doing, and he looks gone for. Her hand is on his shoulder and he's leaning into it.

"Bless him. He's never gonna leave. And he deserves to find love here, with a nice girl who knows what this place is about, how to deal with a guy like him. And with his family."

If you had eaten anything, it would be coming up.

Did you embarrass yourself with his mother, with Royal? Was there something in the story Amy read that was inappropriate? Did they make fun of you behind your back, at Sunday lunch?

A million thoughts swarm your brain.

"Shit, I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry."

Perry laughs again, with his whole body, and it draws Rhett's attention from the bar. You look away.

"Don't worry about it."

His eyes widen, instant sobriety, seeing you stand up. Before Rhett can join you back at the table, you're fleeing to the bathroom.

When you reach the door, someone walks out of the men's. Your eyes meet, and your ex is the second guy to laugh at you in the span of sixty seconds.

A young girl leaves one of the stalls and lets you borrow her eyedrops, and in a record three minutes, you're walking to the table as if nothing happened.

Rhett is trying to convince Perry to finish the beer in front of him before getting another and Dani is nowhere to be seen.

You're happy for her, letting her hair down. Selfishly, you also think that if she were at the table she would see right through you and ask what's wrong, and you'd start crying all over again. These boys don't have the feeling for that sort of stuff. Good.

The youngest does search your face extensively, however, reaching for your hands under the table. You pull away, leaning your head on them.

You ask Perry about Amelia, a subject you know will make him go on for hours. Ten minutes in, Dani rejoins you with a bit of a flushed look. You smile at her and let the proud father continue.

With three other people there to react and respond, your mind takes the liberty to drag you out of the moment and consider what you've been told.

It isn't wrong.

You don't belong here. Maybe Rhett thinks you are his ticket out, but you don't want to take him away from his family. No, he doesn't want that either. He's better off with someone who, as said, knows this life. Their identity meshing with the dry air, blending in with the colorful streamers in the arena every weekend. Rolls with the punches, all the machismo, better. Can be happy with and despite.

Unfinished business waits for you in Boston. A life. Your life.

And Maria. You won't pretend to know her very well, but she seems liked wherever she goes. Fondly remembered and broadly welcomed. Nice, beautiful, educated and most of all familiar. Ran away from her hometown long enough to be interesting, returned in enough time to be seen as grateful. Prodigal daughter.

The way you have seen him look at her. Bask in her warmth.

It's a really sweet tale.

You think of how often you brought his peaceful mood down with your own paranoia. You took the prize he won to help yourself. How many times did he become anxious and upset when he was around you?

Standing in his way is the worst thing you can do to someone, a family who is kind.

You don't want him to think you were using him or to notice any changes (yet), so when Perry and Dani finish talking about their kids, you spark back to life to ask if anybody's hungry.

"It's early enough that we can still get that pizza."

The perfect comfort food. You nearly melt into her, the two of you holding hands and getting up. "Are you…?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

Rhett asks, and he seems apprehensive. Did you fail already?

Dani shoots you a weird, questioning look.

"I don- I don't know. Just asking."

Perry is still tipsy, heedless. "Want to ask Maria if she wants to come?"

Your hand is painfully squeezed by Dani, and you squeeze back to avoid any awkwardness.

"What?"

"Just saying."

They're standing nose to nose, and it's weird to watch.

You clear your throat, tugging Danielle forward. "We're going! Walking out the door now!"

It breaks your heart when Rhett jogs behind you, catching up and hugging you from behind, swinging your body to the side like he's going to pick you up. He notices your laugh is strained.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah-"

"Abbott!"

You should've made a more discreet exit.

"Yes?” His arms slip away from your form, turning towards your ex-boyfriend, and you enter a state of panic. “I'm all ears."

You almost move to pull him back before catching yourself. Filled by a weird feeling of deja vu. This is ridiculous.

"Did you think I wouldn't kick your ass on my last night?"

"Try me."

"Hey, don't touch-"

Big hands push Perry, and he stumbles back before you and Dani catch him.

Fed up, you place yourself in the line of sight of both men. Not exactly in between them, but close.

Rhett looks at you for a significant amount of time considering the tempers. It's a clear message. Go ahead, if you want, but I won't entertain it.

"Really, she's got you on a leash already? I have to hand it to ya, I never thought-"

You walk towards him, pulling on his arm for the last time, so you can talk. Eye to eye.

It's hard to say what the other three can hear. You're not whispering, but it's for you and him only.

"It's over. You and I are fucking free. Aren't you relieved? I am. And look at you-" You pat him on the chest, with a proud smile. "Big things in Montana. Lots to look forward to. And you're still stuck on this? Both of us are meant for greater things than this town and anyone in it. Let go."

Lying through your fucking teeth. This place has rotten you.

He smiles, hat casting a shadow over your eyes.

"See, I knew you never stopped being smart."

You return his grin. Sick.

"And you're smarter than your brothers. Tell them to stop messing with the Abbott land before you get a chunky lawsuit. It's not worth it."

Glossy eyes roll to the back of his head, hands on his hips. Doesn't admit it, but not arguing. You smile, self-satisfied.

"Have a good one."

Before you can walk away, he grabs your wrist. Rhett takes a step forward and Danielle tries to cuss him out but is scared of him too, and it dies in her throat.

"You know he's in love with the other girl, right?"

Two seconds ago, he was a big man ready to get physical. Now he's whispering in your ear, fighting dirty.

You sigh, and look straight into his eyes. Laying everything out for him, more than he deserves.

"I know."

He lets go of you, and you flash a last fake smile for him, before walking away.

"And you're okay with that?"

He yells. The others act as bystanders, trying to piece together your conversation.

"Don't worry." You exclaim already on your way to Dani's truck, loud enough for him to hear. "Didn't mean anything."

Readjusts his hat, shakes his head. Boisterous laugh. To Rhett, he says, “Another time. I feel sorry for you, now.”

You look past Rhett's puzzled face, shrugging. Your ex goes back inside.

"Can't believe that worked."

Dani comes up to you, tossing her keys into your hands. You grin. Smart woman.

"Pizza. Please." Perry mumbles like a sedated patient, Rhett helping him stay up.

"Try and keep up."

It's all you say before climbing behind the wheel, releasing a big exhale. Face muscles sore from the strain of forcing yourself to smile so many times in one conversation.

"Okay?" Dani caresses your arms. Smart fucking woman.

The taste in your mouth is revolting, stomach sinking as the words echo in your head. Sorry for him, what an asshole. And you propped him up to believe it, to say it to his face. Lying is taking a real toll on you.

"Will be."

Your emotions are behind your fast driving, as they have always been. Dani's tipsy fit of laughter is an added bonus to the experience.

Perry is just as delighted when you park.

"What the hell, woman?"

You clear the hair in your mouth, smiling wide at the brothers.

"Just showing off. Who's hungry? I'm starving."

Due to your recent change of plans, you have decided a night eating pizza with a group of nice people could be a good lasting memory.

No more overthinking and paranoia. For tonight.

They all look happier when you pretend everything's fine. (Rhett's smile is actually not reaching his eyes, and it concerns you over how much he heard, but you will not think about that tonight).

You'll leave when you're supposed to and they will recover very well.

——————————

The Abbotts come in for breakfast a few times. Even Royal.

Every time, you stash the tips they leave for you in Danielle's box.

You have enough money to go home, pay for your last year and support yourself until you find a job. Actually, you've had it for over a week.

It's hard to imagine leaving. Saying goodbye is terrible. You think about Amy. Part of you wants to pretend like you're way short just so you can stay a little longer.

To silence that part, you buy your ticket and call the university, arranging your schedule. There's a date. And a ridiculous cancel fee.

The following week is spent soaking up the familial nights with Dani and Shiree, watching Pixar movies and eating ice cream.

Giving Lenny a precocious Christmas present. An air freshener for his car, he kept mumbling about his husband asking for one but forgetting to buy it.

Visiting the Abbotts.

Cecilia and Royal appreciate the company of a new person not trying to steal, buy or camp on their land. You give Amy two of your favorite books, a horror novel and one on writing. She promises not to snitch on you.

Perry takes you on a horse walk and you forgive him. He has no recollection of telling you anything, instead, he talks about how much he loves his brother, wants the best for him. It eases your initial reaction that night.

Rhett asks for a date. Friday night. Drive-in movies. You have a whole argument about whether or not it should be official.

"If it's a racing movie, will you say yes?"

"Only if it's Tokyo Drift. I love Han."

(It isn't. It's Grease 2 for, what he says, the third time that year.)

He doesn't understand why you want to go 'as friends'. It's really hard, too, because you've secretly always dreamed about a small town drive-in date.

He gets the better of you.

You go, and hold hands, and he kisses you in his truck. You joke about the windows fogging up. He drops you off at Danielle's with another kiss. A proper goodbye, slow. Hands on your ass and wet noises that you hope the neighbors don't hear. (Danielle does and mocks you relentlessly.)

He invites you to have dinner with his family the next day. You leave on Tuesday morning.

You're washing the dishes while he dries them. Perry brings a sleepy Amelia in his arms to kiss you goodnight. She compliments your strawberry-patterned dress for the tenth time. Royal and Cecilia watch TV on the couch, nearly asleep themselves.

"I think he doesn't know how to tell you, but Perry likes having you around Amy. Like a big sister she never got."

The sponge slips out of your hands, thoughts of his brother's drunken words coming back to you. Actually, this is as good a segue as you're going to get.

"Mhm, I don't know."

"What?"

"I adore her, obviously. But I'm more like the young English teacher she apparently missed out on. Which is a real shame, those are important when you're growing up."

"Don't get a lot of young teachers around here."

He's watching you suspiciously as you hand him the last plate. Too used to your bullshit.

"I'm just saying, maybe I'm not the role model for a little girl like her. I have no family, no prospects, a regrettable love life. I'm an abandoned Bostonian, for crying out loud. Struggling to pay for school and a small apartment, for myself. Not really the poster child for a bright and respectable future in the western lands."

Rhett carries the dry plates back to the cupboard.

"I don't like it when you talk about yourself like that." Please, shut up. Don't be nice now, I'm trying to get at something. "You're just different from us. And, just 'cause she likes you doesn't mean she wants to be you."

You think about the writing book you gave her. What a hypocrite you are.

"Younger siblings tend to look up to the older." He smiles, as if you're personally attacking him. "Hey, you brought up the metaphorical sister stuff. I said teacher."

"So you're teaching her to be you?"

"No! I-" You groan and steal the cloth from his shoulder to slap him with. Folding it in your hand, you swallow your feelings to be able to muster your sentence. "All I mean is that, yes, she should have a good influence in her life that isn't related to her by blood. But it should be someone who is consistent, similar. Someone she can relate to but also trust. Possibly, someone she already knows. That all of you do."

You're struggling not to say her name.

"Are you or are you not talking about yourself?"

He's genuinely confused and you sigh into the folded dishtowel. "Nevermind."

The parents sleep soundly, leaning on each other. You think of how long they’ve been together, how much they’ve gone through. Still so supportive of each other and their family. It’s a nice reality you know nothing about.

Cautious not to wake the couple on the couch, you step carefully around the living room and pick up your discarded coat and purse. You're trying to quietly slip on your Vans when Rhett puts a hand behind your back to steady you.

"I was thinking you could stay."

Glad to have strong arms to hold onto, you nearly let yourself fall back into him, basking in the unapologetic seduction in his words. But you think of the disrespect of having sex while his family is sleeping, sneaking out of the room many girls have snuck out of before, just to move back home in three days.

"I really should go." You smile. "But I'm gonna need help walking in these to Dani's truck without falling on my ass."

He laughs. "Useless fuckin' shoes."

Light rain is still falling, rattling the leaves. It smells amazing. You see the dogs taking cover in the driveway.

You'll miss this so much.

The two of you walk like senior citizens, shuffling your feet to avoid an accident, to the car.

"Okay. Thanks."

You chuckle as he opens the door.

Quickly, you throw your stuff on the passenger seat and climb inside, very obviously avoiding saying a real, kiss-involving, goodbye to him.

He squints his eyes but opts for brushing it off, complimenting you instead.

"You look really pretty tonight."

Don't think about him saying it to her when you hand him over in a platter.

"Thank you. So do you."

You're smiling, but not moving to touch each other.

After a beat, he gives up.

"Alright, goodnight. Drive safe." He steps back, hands in his pockets. You think of a teenage Rhett saying goodbye to his dates. "Like a normal person would."

An awkward, disingenuous laugh. Turning the ignition. Calm before the storm.

"Night."

Your foot is on the pedal before you can regret everything. Before you can tell him that you're so sorry about leaving this way.

In the rearview mirror, you watch him wait until you're completely outside of the gate, then jog back inside.

The whole way home, you think you're going to cry. But you're empty. Resolute.

On Sunday, you ignore his calls, eventually texting him that you're busy with Danielle and you'll talk tomorrow.

It's all true.

Dani had been an unbelievable friend, so you figured she deserved to know that you were leaving before everyone else.

Truthfully, you expected a better reaction.

She had seen you save money, she knows you want to finish school and that if it weren't for her, you'd have nothing keeping you here. She pulls the full truth out of you and you agree that the Abbotts would be a reason to stay.

Except they aren't.

You tell her all about Perry's accidental revelation, the logic behind your sudden leave and why it is better this way.

"Don’t you think Perry would only say that if he was scared his brother is falling in love with you?"

You glared at her, then. Begging silently to not be encouraged in favor of optimism and romance.

"No. He made it clear he thought I was wasting his time, preventing him from being with the person he actually needs."

"Maria? They’ve had their chance and neither of them has ever done anything about it, that should say enough."

"Dani-"

"And, so what? Your feelings don’t matter, are not worth seeing through because he had a crush on the girl everyone had a crush on?"

Reinforcing how desired she is doesn’t help.

"Please. Stop."

It's safe to say she doesn't agree, and she calls you a moron a handful of times, but ultimately concedes when she sees you've made up your mind.

"I think you'll regret the way you're going about it. But I've also never seen you backtrack on a decision. For better or worse, we'll see."

She helps you pack and write your resignation letter, and you end the night watching another Pixar movie with Shiree and ice cream.

Your phone sits on the bedside table all day, untouched.

—————————

It's Monday, your last here.

Lenny is the most supportive, happy to hear you're going to finish school. He requests that you send graduation pictures, and it's a great idea.

You and Dani spend your entire shift attached to the hip as it's a slow day, talking about how she'll be miserable again at work and you will look for her in every diner you go to.

Like a storm to finish the day, a sweaty Amelia Abbott bursts through the doors. Did she run here?

"Is it true?"

"Amy, what are you-"

"Shiree said you're leaving tomorrow. Is it true?"

You look back at Danielle, who has an apologetic look on her face. Turning back to the little girl, you're ready to beg for forgiveness at the sight of her blue eyes filling up with tears.

"Oh, Amy, I was gonna say goodbye."

She turns and runs out of the diner. Danielle is already dialing Perry to let him know that he should drive past the school. Right after, she bolts out of the back door to go get her before she gets too far.

The heartbroken child sulks into her father's car, and you watch from the counter.

Dani comes back inside, walks past you into the lockeroom, and comes back again with her own keys.

"There's like an hour left."

"It's your last day, he won't even notice, go."

You sit there, picking your words, before starting the truck. For someone who calls herself a writer, you're often out of right things to say.

The quiet inside the house when you knock is daunting.

Perry opens the door, and he looks distressed, almost pleading for you to come in and explain.

Inside, Rhett is looking at you in disbelief.

"I was going to say goodbye, I promise."

"Can somebody, please, tell me what's going on?"

It's funny that Rhett, expert mutterer, is the one who understood what a crying Amelia was saying. Now, you can hear soft sobs from one of the rooms with the door closed.

"I'm going home tomorrow. Back to university. Quit today. I only told Danielle yesterday, but she told Shiree so she wouldn't have a shock and then she told Amelia at school."

The father looks unsurprised, which in turn surprises you.

You point to the closed bedroom door. "Can I try?"

He nods.

You sit down in front of the door, knocking first.

"Amy, it's me. I'm sorry. I was going to say goodbye. I'm sorry you found out this way, really." You breathe in. "Look, I have one year left. Remember when I showed you the campus pictures? I love that place. I love what I study. I want to be able to practice it. It's…who I am. I'm going after what I most want. We talked about doing things for ourselves, right? That's all this is, okay? My number stays the same, and you can send me any draft you write, anytime. Or questions your stubborn old English teachers don't want to answer. Any book report you need help with. I'm not too far away, Amy. It'll be fine."

Your eyes are closed, brows furrowed in hopes that she's actually listening instead of shoving her earbuds in like you used to when your foster parents tried to discipline you.

There's more that you wan't to promise her. That she can visit you, that you'll write letters to each other to practice, that you'll come see her. But that would make you too present in the Abbotts' life. You made sure she can reach out to you if she needs, and your communication will be direct. If you sent a letter, everyone at the house would be reminded of your existence. It's not what you're after.

There's no response, so you stand up, smoothing your clothes silently.

Rhett's chair screeches against the floor and he swings the front door wide open, stepping outside. It's your cue to follow. Perry stops you on the way to say he'll try and get Amy to come out and hug you goodbye, which you find oddly sympathetic.

You lean against the porch, watching him pace in front of you.

"I don't get it."

"C'mon. You funded part of my back to school campaign. Hardly a surprise that I'm going back to school, is it?"

"Don't be fucking sassy with me now."

You take a deep breath, preparing to fill the shoes of the asshole. It's deserving.

"Rhett-"

"What? How are you gonna defend this? Amy's heartbroken. Again. You think she likes to be left like this? Time after time. And with no warning. Swept off her feet."

You suspect he's not talking about his niece.

"I'm sorry."

"Sure, yeah." He finally stops pacing. You're standing in front of him, your hands clasped in front of your body, eyes burning against the sun. "I thought…"

"I apologize if I lead you on-"

"You didn't lead me on, kitten, you meant it. What happened to your honesty? Why are you lying to me?"

Right into your lap.

"That's the thing, Rhett. I don't know. Ever since I've been here, what I've done the most is lie. Sneak around. I don't like it. I don't belong here, and it shows."

"Bullshit! Who told you that? Was it one of those blonde fucking pricks?"

"Please, I can't have thoughts of my own?"

"Not insecure ones like this, no."

This is more hurtful than what you imagined. But it's good that he's being honest. You'll remember these words forever and probably be too embarrassed to return here.

"Like I said, I'm sorry."

He throws his hat on the ground, stepping right up to you, grabbing your hands in his.

"Stop fighting yourself."

It shakes you to your core, to hear what you needed to all your life. And from someone who you…

You can't.

"Jesus, Rhett! Wake up!" You push his hands away. "This is your life, your family. Doesn't it matter to you? It's not about me. You need to step up for them, and I'm not the girl who's going to get you there, I'm just not! So you need to find her. If you haven't already."

His blue eyes have never been icier. You can imagine what he thinks of you now. Manipulative. Spoiled. Deceiving.

In the background, Royal's sprinting on top of a horse, cussing angrily. You question Rhett.

"What's up with him?"

He runs a hand across his forehead, reluctant.

"Our dear neighbors are convinced we trespassed their property and are legally demanding we give it back. It's a, uh, considerable amount of good land."

You feel like snapping that useless piece of shit in two. Had it not been enough? To tell him that it meant nothing, that you weren't going to stay with him or feed into this silly rivalry…

You praised him while backstabbing Rhett for him to betray you one last time?

He notices your thousand-yard stare nearly setting fire to all the grass in your vicinity. He warns you, calling your name in a way that says 'don't'.

"Those shitheads- Son of a bitch! I asked him…"

Rhett finally closes the distance, fingers kneading the knots on your shoulders as you huff, exasperated.

"Relax. This shows it has nothing do with you."

His hands massage your neck, thumbs caressing the ends of your jawline, and you close your eyes for a second.

"How so?"

"I'm assuming that's what you pulled him aside the other night to talk about. Play the game. Boost his ego, ensure I'm no threat, and he'd leave us alone. Because you're smart. If it was about you, they would have stopped. It didn't work, so it's unrelated to you, right? It's business. You don't understand, forget it."

You let him pull you in for a hug, stroking your hair while your arms envelop his body.

But then, it hits you. You don't understand. Maybe you made things worse by talking to him, maybe he told his brothers to punch harder, or didn't talk to them at all. Once again, you're proven to be out of your element. You wonder if she would have made this mistake. Or if she would have known the right way to handle this, them. Part of you roots for her.

You push him off.

"Or I wasn't convincing enough. Leaving can still make things better."

"Is that why you're going?"

"Rhett-" You're tired. Can't he just yell, grab your arm, tell you to never show up here again. That, you know how to thread. "It's not why, but it's a damn good reason."

He laughs at you, incredulous. Like he can't take you seriously. Like his brother, when he was drunk. It's a nauseating sight.

"Ok. So, what, you're bad for me? Get over yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." He's in your face again. "You really think that works on me? Is that how stupid you think I am? You’re bullshitting."

How is he controlling the situation? How did this happen?

"What do I do with that?"

"Tell the truth."

"I am!"

"Not that. Just two weeks ago. Prick's last night in town. You said to him, it didn't mean nothing. What didn't?"

"I didn't know you heard that."

"Well?"

"You and I. It didn't mean anything, soon enough I'd go back to Boston and you'd stay here."

"Did you lie to him, or to me?"

"I have a ticket back to Boston so-"

"Did it mean nothing to you?"

He's staring you down, breathing fast on your face, eyes searching yours for any signs of weakness.

It's right in front of him. The answer.

All these years valuing honesty, putting it on a pedestal, clinging to it as the one virtue you can count on… It made you a terrible liar.

He knows. You realize, then, that his point isn't to hear that you cared for him and that it wasn't all meaningless. Your leaky eyes, heaving chest, gritted teeth, it shows him that you do care.

He's asking you to speak up. To fight for yourself, instead of against. He probably doesn't mind you going back to school, he helped you, even. All he wants is to hear it.

Are you going to let go, tell him how much he means to you and that you'll be back for him? Or will you cower and run, leaving him behind?

You swallow an entire speech.

Rhett backs off, side-eyeing you one last time as he walks towards the steps, before turning to you. "In that case, you're probably right."

Then, Amelia interrupts your moment, running past her uncle and almost knocking him down in the process. You almost tumble yourself with the force of her hug.

It's crushing, and wet from her tears. You smooth her hair.

As fast as she came, she goes. Her weight is missed.

She takes her uncle's hand as she goes up the porch's steps, Perry watching from the doorway.

You fish for the truck's keys in your pocket, hearing the wooden door of the house shut behind you.

—————————

It's an even quieter than usual morning for the Abbotts.

The goddamn dogs look disinterested.

Amy woke up asking to skip school again, but his brother said no. She has spoons under her eyes to try and downsize the puffiness.

He didn't cry. Why would she?

Danielle called, he's not sure why, to say that you were gone. And to relay that you sent Amy a hello, wished her a good day in school.

Life is swift.

They'll be fine.

But he doesn't get it. At first, he thought he could save you from a poor excuse of a man. He had stolen girls from the boys next door before.

Eventually, the obvious dawned on him. They're not teenagers anymore.

You weren't nice to him to be saved, you were just nice. Yourself. Even if you hid, guarded up, dipped your toes in the water before diving. It was only fair. You decided he was good enough to let in.

And then he had screwed it up by fucking you in a strange place against a wall. Coming inside you with no regard for your well-being despite telling you he wanted to make you feel good. Instead, he probably ended up making you feel like another notch under his belt.

He was terrified. That he had lowered your expectations on people even more, convincing you to stay with your boyfriend because it doesn’t look too much better out there; that he had shown you his worst side and you'd never want to look at him again.

But you smiled, just a few days after. Teased him like he noticed you only did with him. Told him he had nothing to worry about, while you worried sick for him and his family. Didn't let him ease your nerves. A no-good, infuriating tendency to be self-righteous.

He knows- He knew you. What he doesn't understand is why you couldn't break those vices for him. What else could he have done to make you feel safe enough to?

You'd sacrifice yourself if it meant his family would be alright.

Did he not make it clear that he doesn't want you to? That, as long as you're gone, he will not be alright? And if he's not alright, he can't step up or whatever you said.

Then, there was all that talk about Maria. Obviously, the woman still affects him. They never got their chance, it's bound to make him wonder…

But even after all these years, he has no clue who she is. What she likes, what she hates. He knows her story by accidentally being part of it, and even then, he doesn't know it that well.

In a few months you managed to leak into every bit of his life. He memorized all of the pieces that built you, made the effort to. And he wanted more. He wanted you everywhere.

Everyone but his niece was skeptical. They liked you despite how vastly different you are, it scared them. For a family who has been through enough hardships, change is always uncomfortable. He spent nights awake thinking about how he could sprinkle a good word about you every dinner, maybe recruiting Amy, so that you'd feel loved by them too. They could love you, he's sure of it.

He doesn't understand why he's not enough. You must have noticed his effort. Sure, he wasn't too good with romance but he never gave up on you. It's not entitlement, you don't owe him anything, he chose you. Like you had said once, that you chose him. What changed?

Why was he not enough?

His mother is frustrated, to put it lightly, that now her two sons brood around the house, and so does her granddaughter. His dad spends even more time working to avoid the off-putting energy in the house.

So she suggests no one goes to Lenny's diner for a while. And that they all go watch him ride on Friday. Then they'll get some good chicken wings on the way home. Together (she means no bar after, no drinking).

They obey dilligently.

The show that night is good, he scores a great time. Maria is there. Not surrounded by blonde assholes, just her friends, he notices. Approachable.

They'll be fine.

————————

last part coming soon :)

#rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbott #outer range fanfic #outer range #lewis pullman

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