#this is the quality winter content we need
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ㅤㅤㅤ✦ 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐒
ㅤㅤghostface!mike schmidt x afton daughter!reader
genre: smut, minors dni, dark content, ghostface au
word count: 4.5k
summary: how were you supposed to know one of your closest friends was also the one in desperate need for revenge?
warnings: dubcon (this can also be considered noncon to some since there's the fear of death in place so if that's not your thing please don't read), knife use, manipulation, voyeurism but no one actually sees, daddy kink, piv, blowjob, nonconsensual somnophilia, male masturbation, reader doesn't know what william did, dirty talking, creampie
a/n: a day late but happy thanksgiving everyone 🖤 i am thankful for my josh hutcherson phase (normally I was going to post this yesterday but oh well you get it)
**dividers made by @saradika xx
How long has it been since you came here? How long has it been since you witnessed the clean beige exterior that now looked more suffocating than liberating?
You observe the dust over the picture frames as you drop the suitcases, the sudden release of weight making your back bend back like a bow. You stare for a while. Your dad had bought this particular vacation home ages ago. Ironically he had done it so the family could spend some quality time together over the summers. That was before the incident. Before your mom left, only leaving you and him.
Now the dirt outside was muddy from the pouring rain. Leaves turning to mush under the pressure of tires and boots. You hear the faint sound of the car door closing. Moments later Mike stands behind you. You can feel his breath tickling the back of your neck. It soothes you.
“So this is the famous summer house huh?” he looks around, not bothering to close the door behind him, he takes a step further. “God, it’s cold in here. Please tell me there’s a heater somewhere.”
“Probably in the basement. Remind you this place wasn’t meant for winter.”
“Yeah I can see that from the windows,” he turns and finally closes the door. “It’s a bit eerie that anyone might just watch us from down there.”
You scoff, “Who’s gonna watch? This house is the only one. Besides it’s just a couple days.”
Your dad was finally selling the place. Meaning you had limited time to pack the things you wanted to keep before the rest was torn out. You knew packing all the old pictures would be overwhelming so you asked Mike to join and he was more than eager to help out—which was a bit surprising but you were grateful nonetheless. He was always kind to you. Always so gentle. He made your heart jump whenever he looked into your eyes, observing, searching them for something more. You never knew what he was searching for.
Mike walks ahead with just his backpack, he’s wearing all black: black hoodie, black pants, black jacket. . . he’s completely contrasting his surroundings. He turns to you with rounded eyes and you melt a little.
“So where am I staying?”
“Let me show you,” It’s odd being in the halls again, you remember them feeling endless when you were a kid. The floor underneath you creaks. “Luckily we have a bunch of rooms. I don’t know what my parents were thinking, it’s not like we entertained a lot of guests.”
“Well, it worked out in the end. Now I have a place to say.”
“Silver lining,” you agree, showing his room. “Make yourself comfortable. I’m going to head to bed and we can brainstorm where to start in the morning.”
“Sounds like a plan,” he steps inside the room and you can’t help but be reminded of how out of place he looks. “Good night.”
“Good night, Mike.”
He stands at the door with furrowed brows and downturned lips. Not that it’s important what his expression is. It’s not like anyone can see it underneath his mask. The mask that he’d bought last second. It is now or never. And this is his chance to avenge his brother, his broken family. This is the solution to all of it.
It doesn’t help that you’re soundly sleeping. Your lips slightly parted, more skin showing with each rise and fall of your chest. Mike takes a step further inside. The wind howls against the naked windows. Yet, your room managed to stay warm. You turn around to lay on your back and he sees you parting your legs underneath the comforter. His cock grows hard at the sight, he’d love to take you right now. Fuck you until you gasp awake, your sweet cunt dripping with arousal—you’d tell him to stop, not recognizing who he is and he’d go on until you’re creaming around him. Your body becoming sweaty and warm.
Mike licks his lips and rubs a palm over the outline of his cock. His eyes search your room. You hadn’t unpacked yet. Your suitcase open with clothes pouring out the edges. You probably just picked that flimsy shirt you were wearing and headed to bed. He slowly walks to the pile of clothes, within, he finds a pair of black lace underwear. Mike picks it up. A gloved thumb follows the patterns of delicate flowers. His lips curl upward, just what you were planning on doing with him here? In your old family home where it’s just the two of you?
He stands at the edge of your bed. He’s amazed at how much he can get away with without waking you. It’s amazing how much you trust him without a second thought.
Too bad he doesn’t trust you.
With your panties, he fists his cock, the fabric catches against the head prompting the jerk of his hips. He strokes himself fast and hard. Precome seeping into the delicate fabric. His eyes are glued to your lips, the pacing of your breath, your body that’s sprawled underneath the sheets. His cock twitches. Balls tightening as he imagines the sounds you would make for him with a knife against your throat and him deep inside your cunt.
The smallest of groans manage to escape him as he spills into his fist and the fabric, thick ropes of come staining your panties, he inches closer. Hips stuttering helplessly while wishing to see himself dirty your pretty parted lips. He knows he will soon enough. He sees the way you look at him, how desperate you are for affection and a sense of belonging. Mike enjoys the sense of control he has over you. It makes it all that much more sweeter.
He’ll take you. Break you. And pull you back together again.
He’ll ruin William Afton’s precious little girl.
You’re blessed with a little bit of sun today. Bits of dust sway in the air, boxes upon boxes standing around you and Mike. Two empty coffee cups lay idly on the floor. You slept like a baby last night, which was something you hadn’t expected, yet when you woke up you felt a bit off. Your door was open for starters. And you definitely remember closing it. Mike had just shrugged it off, saying that you were tired and probably forgot.
Which is likely, now that you think about it.
Mike picks up one of the framed photos of you and your dad. Despite the sunlight filling the living room, a chill settles over your skin. He observes the photo longer than necessary. Then he traces the engraved name underneath the picture.
“Afton,” he murmurs. “I keep forgetting you’re an Afton.”
He doesn’t let go of the picture as his eyes meet yours, you don’t like the look in them. He almost seems angry.
“What does it matter?” you say in a sheer tone. “It’s not like it means anything whether I’m an Afton or not.”
“I’d beg the differ. And I know some other people would too.”
Mike places the photo in a box, eyes dropping to the floor. Heat rises to your cheeks. You’re confused. Very confused. “Are talking about Freddy Fazbear’s? You know I don’t like talking about that Mike.”
“No need to get defensive. I’m just saying that your surname isn’t nothing,” he gives you a small smile but it does little to calm your nerves. “You were never suspicious of him?”
“Of what?”
He gives you a blank stare, “Of the murders.”
Your mouth opens and very promptly snaps shut. Mike was never interested in this before. He hadn’t even asked about it, not once. Your shoulders drop and your heart feels heavy in your chest—Were you ever suspicious of him? Of your own father? To be fair you never thought about it. You shut your eyes and plugged your ears. You never wanted to think about that wretched pizzeria and all the things that happened in it.
Your stomach jumps when he reaches out, curling his palm over the slope of your knee. You release a long breath.
“Sorry for bringing it up,” he says, his eyes now soft. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“That’s okay.” It wasn’t. You get up, feeling the weight of his gaze as you do. “Alright, I think I’m gonna take a brisk shower then we can make pasta or something.”
“I can start on that,” he answers. “Pesto or marinara?”
“You can pick. I’m fine with either.”
He nods and you leave before he stands. You feel icky all over. The dust and the sudden reality check about your father’s pizzeria and his role in all that had happened make you desperate to scrub yourself clean.
You swiftly enter the bathroom, shutting the door behind you, giving it a hard shove until you hear the satisfying click. The inside smells of lavender.
You strip and throw your clothes into the washing machine. The water warms up easily when you step inside. You draw the curtain shut and sigh at the clean water caressing your skin. Warm showers are the solution to everything. Even daddy issues. You begin to wash your hair, a soft moan dropping from your lips as you massage your scalp. The water trickles down your neck and between your breasts. With soapy hands, you give yourself a firm squeeze and graze your thumbs over the pebbled nipples.
“That’s nice,” you sigh, hands moving up to rinse your hair. Maybe after the shower you can lay down and treat yourself until lunch is ready. Your vibrator’s fully charged, and the prospect of Mike hearing the faint buzz of it makes your pussy throb.
Just as you reach for the loofah a soft click echoes in the steamy room.
Your body tenses. Your heart suddenly beating a mile a minute.
Your eyes turn in the direction of the door but you can’t see well with the curtain. All you see is the blurry darkness of the hall thanks to the open entrance. “Mike?” you call out, voice trembling. “If that’s you it’s not funny.”
Of course, it’s not him. Even from here, you can smell the pasta sauce. Pesto. You desperately search for any kind of weapon you can use but all you see are shampoo bottles and the loofah you’re currently holding. You swallow. Turning back to the curtain, you see a faint shadow. It tilts its head.
You need to attack. Need to do something before they do. How did they even get in here?
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
But you’re frozen with fear as the stranger curls their fingers around the shower curtain. The rest happens suddenly. The curtain is ripped open and you see who it is—Mostly. You see the mask, two pitch-black eyes staring back at you. Instead of screaming you jump away, the porcelain slips from underneath you, you fall and as soon as you do, you’re swallowed by darkness.
Your eyes flutter open. There’s a sharp sting against your forehead.
“Thank god you’re awake.”
“M—Mike?”
Your vision stops shaking and you finally see him. Mike, and his two soft brown eyes staring down at you. He’s holding a ball of cotton, the white stained by a bit of red. “What. . .” You attempt to get up but quickly forgo your decision when your head throbs. Mike clicks his tongue and presses the cotton to your head, your eyes tear up as it stings, but it slightly subsides seconds later. Looking down, you notice a towel was thrown over you.
“I should be asking you that, how the hell did you slip?”
“I. . . I didn’t.”
“What do you mean you didn’t?”
“There. . there was someone in the shower,” Your blood freezes as you remember. “He. . .I think it was a he? He was wearing a mask and he opened the curtain and fuck—I was so scared Mike.”
Your arms move on their own and wrap around his neck, pulling him close. It takes him only a second to mimic your movement, wrapping his arms around your cold shivering body. His fingers trace your spine. A pleasant shiver runs up your back. “It’s okay. I’ve got you now,” he murmurs. “But. . . the door was closed.”
What? “What?” You shake your head as you pull away from him, ignoring the towel slightly sliding lower. “There’s no way. How did you see me then?”
“Well, I shouted for you but you didn’t respond. Then I knocked and you didn’t respond again. The door wasn’t locked so I let myself in.”
“And you found me unconscious? No one was here?”
“Only you.”
You shudder. That’s absolutely terrifying.
“Come on let’s. . .” he swallows and you notice his eyes lingering where your towel has fallen. The swell of your breasts exposed. Looking away, you pull the fabric up and properly wrap it around yourself. His eyes move up to meet your gaze. “Let’s get you dressed and then we can eat.”
Your last night here. Finally.
After the unfortunate fall in the shower, you never managed to shake the feeling of being watched in your own house. You didn’t say anything to Mike but you knew he saw how freaked out you were from your eyes, by the way you would jump at every sound. Every time you closed your eyes you saw the stranger’s mask—those damn black sockets and open mouth staring back at you. It didn’t help that every morning you found your door wide open. You could’ve sworn that you closed it. But without fail, the door was open in the morning.
And you’re so grateful to be done with it all.
Stacks of boxes stand tall near the door. You were adamant about having everything ready tonight so that as soon as the sun peaked through the two of you could leave. Which was why you had ordered Mike to pack his suitcase— you’re doing the same, folding clothes with shaky hands and hoping the morning would come faster.
Throwing your shirt into the suitcase your brows furrow, “What the hell?” you murmur as you lower yourself to your knees. The drawers and closet are emptied out, so why the hell do you only have three pairs of underwear?
Sweat beads at your forehead. With panic, you rummage through the neatly folded clothes. You don’t care about the mess or the fact that you’ll have to fold them again—why can’t you find the other pairs?
You’re completely defeated as your entire body deflates. Just three. You remember packing ten. They’re gone. All gone. Stolen.
Your heart lurches and you feel it beating in your throat. You want to leave. You want to leave. You want to leave.
The phone rings.
It’s loud and booming. Your eyes shot towards the hallway. It’s the landline. A phone that hadn’t been used for god knows how long. You weren’t even aware that it was still connected.
You blink rapidly, forcing the sting of tears to fade. You stand on shaky legs as you head towards the phone in the living room. You vaguely hear Mike mumbling a melody that’s familiar but also not at the same time.
You stare at your reflection in the widows as you pick up the phone. Normally you’d appreciate the view. The dark sky, the swaying pine trees. But not today.
You clear your throat, “H—Hello?”
You hear a faint static, a low internal breathing, then the silence talks back, saying your name. You shudder at the rasp in his voice, fear weighing you down and gluing you to the floor. “Who is this?” you ask.
“You know who I am,” he murmurs and takes a deep inhale. “We’ve met before remember? That moment in the bathroom.” Your body freezes all over, he chuckles, then speaks as if reminiscing a fond memory. “You looked so amazing. Nipples hard, body wet. Were you touching yourself?”
You remain silent, eyes glued to the hall that is lit by Mike’s room. You want to call out. You really do. But you’re terrified.
“Was it him you were thinking about?”
“That’s. . .” you swallow. “That’s none of your business.”
“Everything you do is my business,” he snaps but then the harsh baritone of his voice quickly softens. “Fine. Don’t. I know the answer anyway.”
“What do you want?”
“I want the truth, Miss Afton.” Your breath catches, your knees begin to shake. “Just answer my question and maybe you won’t die.”
You remain silent and you hear the smile in his voice, “Good girl. Now, do you know your father is a murderous piece of trash? Yes or no?”
You close your eyes, shake your head, you can’t answer. “Fine,” he huffs. “Do you think you deserve to live?”
“I. . .” Your mouth goes dry and your fingers tighten around the phone. “I do.”
Honestly, you’re not sure if you believe that.
“Oh, I’m sorry but that’s just not correct,” he answers with a melodic lilt. “You don’t deserve anything. Why should your life matter more than the other kids that were killed by your father?”
“It shouldn’t.”
Your voice barely comes out in a whisper now. Your eyes drop to the floor, maybe if you run and get to Mike in time you can save you both?
“Is your dad a killer yes or no?” then he adds. “You better answer correctly this time.”
“I don’t know,” you say this time, he clicks his tongue in annoyance.
“Wrong.” You close your eyes, taking a deep breath you open them again. All you see is your reflection. “I’ve been watching you,” he says. “You sleep like a log. I watched you. Fucked my fist while you were sleeping soundly, dreaming of sunshine and rainbows,” he sighs. “Or whatever the fuck girls like you dream about.”
You’re appalled by the sudden gush of wetness that courses through you. You shake your head, trying to push the images away. “Please don’t do this,” you beg.
He stops speaking for a good while, for a second you think he hung up, but then you hear his breath in your ear and know that he’s still there. “I keep forgetting.”
“Forgetting what?”
“That you’re an Afton.”
Your heart drops to the pits of your stomach. Every fiber of skin burning and tingling with the realization. You’ve heard those words before. You’ve heard the hidden accusation in them. Your ear burns from the phone pressed against it, you press it harder, not wanting to miss a second of dialogue. Your lips brush against the plastic as you do.
“Mike?”
The line goes dead. Silent. And you realize you preferred words coming from the other line. Tortorously slow, as if in a dream, you place the phone back in its cradle. You feel him before you see him. Your head turns. You feel every muscle pulling as you do.
And there he is.
The man with the mask.
“Mike?” you say again with less conviction. He tilts his head, not moving, not saying anything. Your body stiffens and your eyes drop to his hands where you see the sharp edge of a knife. You drag your gaze back to the mask, hoping that you’re staring into his eyes, “Why?”
He takes a step forward and you take a step back. You’re inches away from the wide windows. “I had a brother,” he says, you’re surprised to find yourself relaxing upon hearing his voice. “I’ve tracked down the suspects. Looked at similar cases for years. Every bit of information leads to Afton.”
“I had nothing to do with it.”
Another step. The glass is cool underneath your palms.
“You father did,” he answers. He stands only an inch away now, your stomach jumps when he presses the sharp edge of the knife against your neck. You hold your breath. “The day he took him is the day I lost everything. My family shattered. All because of him. And now. . .” Mike presses the knife harder, a hint of pain blossoming from where he’d cut. Your eyes snap shut. “Now I’ll take his little girl. Eye for an eye.”
“Mike, please,” you whisper. Then you say something that surprises you both. “Take off the mask. If I’m going to die, I want to see you.”
He tenses but obliges anyway. The mask falls to the floor, his hair mussed, soft curls fall over his forehead. A bit of stubble on his chin from not shaving at all since you two arrived. He doesn’t look scary, not at all. He looks vengeful, yes, but the softness in his eyes is still there.
“What are you going to do to me?”
Mike’s nostrils flare as he inhales, he exhales through parts lips, you feel his warm breath on your skin. “I’m going to ruin you.” The knife is replaced with his hand, he squeezes your throat, pulls you away from the glass, and slams you into it. “You’re mine now. I own you.”
You shudder as he lets you go, his hands fumble with his jeans, and the fabric pools at his ankles. “Get on your knees and suck daddy’s cock.”
You stare at him, wide-eyed but do as you’re told anyway. You drop to your knees. His cock achingly hard in front of you. He holds himself and drags the wet tip across your lips. He slides the underside of his cock against your face and without thought you dart your tongue out, tasting him. Mike groans, the sound rattling in his chest. With no warning given, he slips his cock between your lips and stops halfway. Your eyes water at how thick he is.
When you look up you see he’s holding his phone, camera directed at you with his cock in your mouth. “Sorry,” he says with a faint smirk. “I need a souvenir to remember how good you look with my cock in your mouth. Who knew Afton’s precious daughter was such a slut.”
Your eyes flutter as he shoves the phone back into his jacket pocket. He cradles your head and starts fucking himself deep into your mouth. “You know,” he rasps. Mike pushes himself especially deep and smiles broadly when you choke around him. “You really should be thanking me for not slitting your throat during all the nights I watched you.”
He suddenly stops and pulls out until it’s only the head between your lips. His cock throbs on your tongue, he forces your gaze up to him, “Thank me for not slitting your throat.”
“Thank—” It’s hard to speak with him still between your lips. You swallow and try again, your nipples tight. “Thank you for not slitting my throat.”
“Such an obedient girl,” he muses. “I’m going to fuck you in every corner of this house. Get up—”
He says that but lifts you himself, impatient, he presses you against the window, your cheek smushed against the clear surface. Your neck strains a little. His breath caresses the back of your neck, his lips on your ear, “Time to pay for your father’s sins.”
Mike lifts your shirt and pulls down your sweats. His cock lays heavy above the small of your back. Warm and wet. You clench as he pushes you forward, your breasts fully pressed against the glass. He kicks your legs apart, holding your arms back, Mike slips inside you with ease. Your breath halts in your throat. You only feel pleasure. You drip down his length, and with a groan, he buries himself to the hilt.
“I knew you’d been waiting for this,” he groans. “So fucking wet—”
“M—Mike—”
He clicks his tongue and cocks his head to the side, his forehead brushing against the back of your head. “Not Mike.”
“Daddy,” you moan as he pulls out and slams back in. You choke. “Daddy—”
Mike fucks into your harder, the sound of skin against skin echoes in the room, wet squelches following. Your knees shake as you find yourself completely immobile against the glass. His fingers curl around your neck and he yanks your head back, hips relentless.
“Look at that, anyone could see you now. I wish we had an audience.” Your cunt squeezes him like a vice, his hips stutter forward, a sharp moan rattling in his throat. He laughs. “Does that turn you on?” Helpless, you nod. “That’s it, take it. Daddy’s whore.”
“Kiss me—please—”
The plea takes him by surprise, he stops, hand tensing around your neck, you feel the pulse of his cock deep inside you. He drags his hips down your neck and teases you with his teeth. Goosebumps rise over your skin. And finally—finally—those perfect plush lips meet your own. It’s cruel really. The red strings of fate that tie you two together. You’re still not sure what to make of it all. Or of him. But you surrender. You surrender to his mouth and tongue. Mike swallows you whole. His tongue moves lavishly over yours, sliding and sucking as he presses harder inside you.
“Gonna come inside,” he breathes into your mouth. His hand drops between your legs, your body shaking as he draws tight circles around your clit.
Mike’s lips meet your throat, gentle then ravenous, making their way to the blankets of your clavicle, scraping the delicate skin. You arch against him, pleasure building, craving more. He thrusts harder, deeper, the pleasure increasing with each movement. His fingers grab your hips, and you can feel yourself tightening around him, his cock slamming against your core inside of you. Obscene sounds come from where he’s playing with your clit. You feel like a rag doll. And soon the coil snaps, you’re falling.
Your entire body goes tense, his name leaving your lips in an urgent plea as the pleasure overtakes you. You shake and tremble, Mike continues to hammer into you, hand leaving your core and bracing itself near your head. Briefly, you manage to look outside. See the darkness that looms over the forest. Then you notice his reflection in the glass, eyes meeting yours.
He smiles.
Mike moans loudly, lips parting, his hips stutter over and over, spilling himself inside. Your eyes roll back, a whimper falling from your mouth as you take all of it. He holds himself there until his come starts to drip from where he stretches you. Your forehead finds purchase on the glass. Cold and soothing. His lips brush the back of your neck.
“You look so tired already but we’re not done yet,” he parts your lips with his fingers and pushes them inside. Teary, you find his eyes in the reflection once more. He’s pleased. “I was serious in what I said, Miss Afton. I own you, now.”
“Mike. . .”
“And no matter where you run off to,” he murmurs, cutting you off. A hint of annoyance in using his name. “I’ll always come back.”
#mike schmidt x reader#mike schmidt x fem!reader#mike schmidt x f!reader#dark mike schmidt#ghostface au#ghost face!mike schmidt#josh hutcherson character fanfic#fnaf fanfic#five night at freddy's fanfic#tw daddy kink#tw dubcon
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crying wolf.
werewolf michael kaiser x red riding hood fem reader
clichés always hold a grain of truth to them.
warning(s): nsfw, noncon, murder of an uninvolved character, breeding, knotting
minors do not interact.
a big bad wolf lives in the woods near your village.
that much you know.
the wolf has been the talk of the town for years now, and no matter how many men set off to kill the wolf or how many traps had been set up to catch it once and for all, the sly beast always managed to escape the trickery of your town.
there came a point where you stopped caring about it. you had no reason to step into the woods, satisfied with your quiet life in town, and outside of the stray sheep being killed and eaten every few months, the wolf really didn’t do anything to disturb your quality of life. it must suck to be a sheep farmer while this was all going down, but you weren’t a sheep farmer, so you didn’t care.
“you ought to be more careful!” the old cheesemonger’s wife scolds you as she hands you a generous chunk of cheese. “you know, the huntsmen are saying that they’re going to form an escort group in about a week’s time. shouldn’t you wait until then to go visit your grandma?”
you shake your head. “mama said i should go as soon as possible. grandma hasn’t been feeling well for a while, and ever since the whole wolf scare, we haven’t been able to visit her frequently. i just want to make sure she has enough food, because she can’t really do much herself.”
the old wife clicks her tongue and waggles her finger. “i keep telling my husband here, they really ought to catch that wolf quickly. this is how these things always begin. a couple sheep here and there, and next thing you know, the wolf’s run off with a toddler. who’s to say it won’t develop an appetite for a pretty girl like you?”
“oh, please.” you snort slightly. “the only things with an appetite for women like me are the drunkard sleazebags that waste their money away in the taverns.”
“well, you can say that again,” she laughs. she winks as she tucks you an extra slice of sweet cheese into your basket, and she waves you off before you finish off your errands and head home.
the chilled autumn breeze nips at your skin, and you huddle under the red cape your mother’s lovingly sewn for you. it’s become your best friend when winter starts to draw close, and you’ve worn the garment for years. you’re sure you’ll wear it in due time when you’ll set out through the woods to your grandmother’s, where the bright crimson ought to serve as an identifying beacon of sorts for your ailing grandmother.
the sun threatens to set in the distance by the time you gather up all your supplies and head to the outskirts of the village, where your home is. you double check the contents of your basket at your front door, not wanting your mother to scold you for having forgotten anything.
a bottle of hearty wine? check. loaves of bread that won’t go bad soon? check. cheese, meats, and fruits? check.
“i’m home!” you called out, swinging your front door open. your mother jumps and places a hand over her heart, exhaling deeply when she notices it’s just you.
“you scared the wits out of me, dear!” she scolds, stirring intensely at the pot in front of her. “a knock before you come in wouldn’t hurt, you know!”
“says the person who leaves the front door unlocked.” you toss your boots off and hang your cloak up, and you set down the heavy basket on the already set dining table. you swing in to a seat at the table, stomach growling at the scent of fresh stew. “i got everything for grandma tomorrow. is there anything else you need me to bring to her?”
“do you think i should pack some jam for her? i have a few jars that mr. ah… what’s his name again- well, he gave me some because his sister had made too much, and i reckon that your grandmother wouldn’t have too many sweet things to eat while she’s sick,” your mother suggests. you shrug, and she wipes her hands down on her apron before grabbing at the pot’s handle. “stay put where you are, dear. hot pot coming through!”
“i don't think it'll hurt. might as well bring it over if i’m headed there in the first place,” you offered. your mother smiles at you fondly as you practically lunge for the pot, spoon in hand to scarf down a well-deserved meal.
“slow down, or you’ll get a tummy ache,” she reminds you. you swipe at your mouth with your sleeve, earning a wince from her, but she doesn’t say anything. the night quickly melts away into the everyday hum of dinner followed by a quick berry pie dessert.
you haven’t even thought of the wolf until your mother tells you to go fetch the rest of the laundry she forgot to get earlier in the day. you balance a laundry basket on your hip as you drag your feet outside, wishing you were snuggled up in your bed with a book instead. the cold wind bites at your exposed neck and face, and you scowl as you haphazardly yank at the clothes and socks hung up on the laundry line.
“stupid wind,” you grumble under your breath. you stuff some shirts into the laundry basket, but when you reach to grab at the last pair of socks on the line, the wind tussles it free from the clothing pin and the socks go flying off in the distance. you let out a yelp before running after it, watching the white socks flutter like a pair of doves before landing onto the dirt.
“stupid, stupid wind!” you doubly curse as you bend down, yanking your nightclothes up so that the hem won’t be stained by the dirt. you reach to grab the socks before something in the ground catches your eye, and you shift to take a closer look.
your eyes widen in horror.
pawprints. wolf pawprints.
you shudder and quickly stand up, racing back to the safety of your laundry line and basket. the cursed beast must have been wandering around the wilderness near your home. a shiver runs down your spine at the thought of some stinky mutt of a wolf sniffing at your laundry, and once you see that there are no more clothes left on the line, you march back home and shut the door firmly behind you.
you have nothing to fear. you’re no sheep and definitely not meal material for the big bad wolf. you don’t even bring up the pawprints to your mother once you’re inside, and you don’t even think of the wolf again when you go to bed, bracing yourself for the long journey to your grandmother’s cottage tomorrow.
…
…
…
“do you have everything?”
“yes, mama.”
“are your boots comfortable?”
“yes, mama.”
“will the cloak be enough to keep you warm?”
“yes, mama.”
you swear the entire day’s going to be over by the time your mother’s done fretting over you. she’s not only gone over the contents of your basket once, twice, thrice, four goddamn times, and she’s still convinced that somehow she magically forgot to add everything to it. she keeps fretting over you, pulling the cloak tighter around your throat and making sure the hood covers your head comfortably.
deep down, you know she means well, but she keeps fussing over you like you’re a newborn baby. you’re old enough to take care of yourself, old enough to know how the world runs, old enough to stand on your own two feet without having her circling you like some kind of anxious mama bear. which she is, you suppose.
she kisses your forehead gently, looking at you with the weathered affectionate eyes only a mother could ever muster up. “i know you’re sick of me worrying over you like this. i can’t help it—you’re my baby.”
“i’ll be back before you even know it, mama,” you joke back. “and if i’m not back by dinner, you can assume i’ll be at grandma’s for the night. either way, i’ll be back by tomorrow for sure.”
“i’ll be waiting for you,” your mother promises. she clasps your hands, rubbing her calloused palms over yours. she squeezes your fingers carefully, grinning at you despite her obvious nerves. “my baby’s all grown up! going through the woods by herself and everything… what am i going to do when you actually leave the nest?”
“oh, you’ll be fine.” you hoist the heavy basket up, flashing your mother a thumbs-up. “i’ll be on my way then. i shouldn’t dally around too much, or it’ll get late.”
“right, right. i guess i’ll bake something to pass the time while you’re gone. maybe making your favorite pie ought to incentivize you to come home faster!” she agrees with a hearty laugh. you’re just about to turn around and set off before your mother cries out a panicked “wait!”
you look over your shoulder. “huh? what is it, mama?”
“i know this is probably just me fretting,” she looks at you firmly, and she wrings her hands slightly, “but it’s better safe than sorry. make sure to never wander from the main road, okay? you’ve heard about the wolf that’s been terrorizing our village. i don’t want to risk you getting hurt.”
you’d snark back at her a bit normally, but the pure fear in your mother’s eyes makes you bite your tongue for once. “i’ll stay strictly on the path, mama. besides, the wolf’s never taken a human before. and i’m sure there’ll be huntsmen and all sorts of other people out and about at this time of day, so i’ll be okay.”
“i know,” she sighs. “it’s a mother’s instinct. i can’t help but fret over you constantly.”
she waves you off, and you’re on the path to your grandmother’s before you even know it. the weather today is perfect: brisk refreshing air, a few cotton-white clouds in the bright blue sky, and the mischievous twinkles of sunlight streaming through forest trees’ branches.
truth be told, you like these solo adventures more than anything else in the world. living a quiet life in your village has its perks, but when everyone knows everybody, you rarely get a chance to set out by yourself without the scrutiny of your entire town on your back. you hum a little song while you skip through the beaten path in the woods, savoring the solitude. it shouldn’t take you more than a few hours to make the round trip, save for a quick lunch break in the middle and maybe a snack for the road at your grandmother’s abode.
you couldn’t be happier right now. the basket swings from the crook of your arm as you stroll through the woods, admiring the wilderness. a pair of butterflies flutter every now and then, and you can make out the melodic warbles of birdsong. you wonder if it’s mating season for the creatures; the closest you ever got to romance were the fairy tales in your book (your mother’s old hand-me-downs, from when she lived in the port city before moving her to marry your now-absent father) or the occasional wedding that took place in your village (the last one was 7 years ago, when the wheat grinder’s daughter married the postman. you pressed the flowers from your corsage between the pages of a heavy dictionary).
either way, you wish your village had more to show a young woman like yourself. everyone seems happy living their rustic life, and while you were satisfied with the peace that your mother strove so hard to provide you with, you knew that the world had more to show you.
and you crave it. just as the horizon of the woods seems to stretch on forever and ever, you wonder if there’s something beyond it just waiting for you.
maybe there ought to be a great marble castle, blinding white in the distance, complete with a prince charming inside atop his great steed. or maybe big markets with all sorts of treasures from afar! sometimes when a stray merchant stumbles across your town, you’d eavesdrop on the stories they’d tell to the little kids (you always dreamed about tasting the delicious spices they bragged about. cinnamon, was it? oh, that sounded fabulous).
but instead, you’re stuck with this bumfuck, hillbilly country town. there aren’t even any good looking guys here, and you know it’ll take at least a decade to convince your mother to let you move out away from the safety of her arms. the height of gossip here is a stupid wolf running around the woods. your village is so boring that they can’t even find a human to gossip about.
sweat dots your brow once you’re a good way into your journey. parts of the woods clear out into patches of grass or the sporadic lake, and your stomach starts growling slightly. you debate pushing yourself a bit further before you decide otherwise—your mother had packed you a delicious lunch, and it wouldn’t hurt to give your feet a quick break while you wolfed it down.
you scan the nearby woods for a clearing you could sit at, and after a few more feet of walking, you’re greeted with what looks like a meadow of wildflowers in the distance. you keep your eye on the main path before plopping down on the side of the beaten track, leaning your back against a tall tree.
‘lunchtime, lunchtime,’ you excitedly think to yourself as you peel back the cover of your basket. in the corner, all wrapped up, is a pair of sandwiches, a bottle of water, and a whole apple that your mother has prepared for you. the bright noon sun above your head indicates to you that it's the perfect time for lunch, and you lick your lips as you unwrap the sandwiches.
you go to town on your food. you have to force yourself to slow down a bit so you won’t choke on your food, and you listen to the back-and-forth of bird calls as you savor the taste of tasty bread. the crisp tanginess of the apple is welcomed by your tongue after you finish your sandwiches, and you chew thoughtlessly.
crunch.
‘hm?’ you don’t even move when the sound of rustling comes from behind you. it’s probably a deer or something. the sound of rustling wasn’t uncommon this deep into the woods, and huntsmen often told stories about daring foxes or squirrels that would venture close to the tracks to fight over scraps that other travelers had dropped.
crunch.
you swallow down the final bite of your apple, inwardly wishing you had more. you dangle the core in between your fingers, and you wonder if you should toss it into the woods. yeah, that wouldn’t be too bad, right?
crunch.
the birds could pick at it for a bit, and then maybe the bugs could enjoy the sweet treat. what use would you have for an apple core? you stand up, dusting yourself off the best you can, and without looking too far into the woods, you rev up your arm and throwing the apple core as far as you can into the trees with as much force as you can muster-
-only to hit something square on with the apple core.
you blanche. what did you just hit? you weren’t looking too closely, and you had expected the apple core to unceremoniously fall somewhere on the ground and be forgotten. but instead, something of considerable size lurks in the woods, and you hold your breath as you haphazardly grab your basket and your cloak, getting ready to run for it.
“ow…,” a boyish voice whimpers.
huh??? you freeze in your place, confusion flickering through your brain as a shadowy figure rustles around the place you had tossed the apple. a voice? you hadn’t expected that. you were supposed to be the only person here.
did you accidentally hit a wandering huntsman on accident?
“w-who’s there?” you call out. “come out and show yourself!”
“i was trying to-,” the voice grumbles. you hear footsteps and the crunching of breaking branches and leaves, and you keep your distance from the voice. the figure shifts closer to you. “-before you hit me in the face with your leftovers.”
your breath stops just short in your throat when you see a young boy around your age step out into the light. you clearly look confused—you’ve never seen him before, and no one’s mentioned anything about a boy this deep into the woods.
“who are you?” you ask, your own voice hushed. “i’ve never seen you before.”
“i should be asking you that,” he huffs. he folds his hands over his chest, and he pouts. “i want to know about you first.”
“i live in the village.” you point the way you came, down the path. you make the wise decision to casually leave out your name and any other important information you can. “are you from there too?”
he shakes his head. “i live in the woods.”
the woods! you’d never heard of anyone living in the woods. it was pure wilderness, dangerous and scary, no less for someone who wasn’t even a veteran wilderness expert! for someone that lived in the woods, the boy looks surprisingly well groomed. his long blond hair pools over his shoulder and down his chest, and it looks clean and well maintained. his cheeks are rosy and pink, and his bright blue eyes stare you down with a kind of pride you’ve never seen before.
“that’s dangerous, you know,” you point out. “there’s a wolf that's been running around these parts lately. it’s not safe for you to be out here all alone.”
he raises an eyebrow. “a wolf, huh?”
“yeah! it’s been killing sheep in my village. everyone’s been talking about it,” you remark. “i’d take you back to my village if i could, but i can’t.”
“i’m not welcome there,” he coldly remarks. his eyes narrow slightly, as if he’s leering at you. “besides, i wouldn’t want to live in a stupid village anyway. i’m happier on my own. everyone else and their stupidity would make me mad.”
annoyance shoots through you, and you shrug. “suit yourself. i can’t force you to go if you don’t want to. but i’d rather not have blood on my hands.”
“blood on your hands, huh?” the blond boy steps closer to you. “where are you headed to?”
“why do you want to know?”
“because it’s not often that i see a girl wandering around this deep by herself. you said it yourself: it’s dangerous out here.”
you hold your ground as he steps closer, circling around you. he’s tall when he stands at full height, almost enough to rival some of the tallest men in your village. his body is toned, most likely from living in pure wilderness for however long he has, and despite the lighthearted banter between the two of you, something in your gut swirls with anxiety when he prowls around like a wild animal.
“i’m headed somewhere,” you answer vaguely. “i have some stuff i gotta deliver.”
“and it’s that way, isn’t it? opposite your village?” he approaches closer, and you whimper when he sniffs at your ear. “lemme guess… that old lady’s house on the other side?”
your stomach drops. the boy grins, his sharp canines on full display when he sees the awestruck look on your face.
“bingo! you smell like her,” he laughs easily. “that’s a long journey for a pretty girl like you.”
you pull your cloak closer to yourself, instinctively wanting to shield yourself from the strange boy. “that’s enough! i’m going to get going.”
“sure, sure.” he sends you off, still grinning like he’s won some grand prize. “be careful out there though, darling.”
he cocks his head, watching you as you start running away from him. the blond smirks to himself, your sweet scent still clinging to his nose as your silhouette flickers from his view and then disappears into the distance.
“a wolf, huh?” he murmurs. he sounds amused, still thinking about the flabbergasted expressions on your face. something inside of him stirs sinisterly.
he’s hungry, he decides.
and suddenly, sheep meat doesn’t sound as appetizing anymore.
…
…
…
horror weighs on your heart like a brick thrown into a pond. it ripples and quivers violently, forming merciless waves that spread out, swallowing up anything in its path and leaving things warped in its wake.
your grandmother’s house is trashed. the windows are smashed in, and the front door is broken. your heart hammers in a panic, and your mouth goes dry. your pupils shake as you stand a distance away from the house.
your mind is blank. what happened? robbers? wild animals? a murderer?
you know deep down in your heart that the correct thing to do is turn on your heel and run, run until you find someone else, run until another person could take care of the issue for you. but your feet stay glued to the ground, and your thoughts swirl over with terrifying ideas.
your grandmother is inside! she’s a weak, defenseless lady, practically confined to her bed because of her old age and her illness… there was virtually nothing she could do to defend herself if anyone attacked her.
what if you were already too late?
“g-grandma…!” you cry out. your basket bounces next to you as you run into the house, tears clouding over your vision. the house seems too big, like it’s swallowing you up without the safety of your grandmother. the inside of the cottage looks just like the outside. furniture overturned, big claw marks etched into the walls, and absolutely no sign of your beloved grandmother.
your blood turns cold at the claw marks.
was it the wolf?
“grandma, if you can hear me, say something…!” you whisper, too scared to raise your voice properly. “o-or move something! grandma, you’re in here, right?”
your body trembles uncontrollably. the only room remaining that isn’t within clear sight is your grandmother’s bedroom. your gut tells you to leave immediately. you don’t want to go in there, but you have to. who’s going to help your grandmother if not for you? what if by the time you ran away and brought other people, it was too late for her?
your steps echo throughout the ruined house like the toll of church bells, and you press your lips into a thin line. you reach out for the door, which, despite its dilapidated state, somehow managed to stay partially attached to the hinges. you push, forcing your head to quit spinning from your fear.
“we meet again, darling!”
your heart drops to the ground. blood paints what seems like every inch of the room, and you immediately stumble backwards, tripping over your own feet and landing like a sack of potatoes onto the ground.
‘move…!’ your brain screams at your body. ‘get up and move!’
but you can’t. the scene unfurling in front of your eyes makes your limbs feel like they were made of lead. you can’t bring yourself to do anything. you can’t crawl, can’t scream, can’t do anything except stare back up at the blood-drenched young man that looms above you with a wolfish smile.
he licks his lips. he looks exactly as he did in the woods. tall, with long blond hair and dazzling blue eyes. except this time, there’s a pair of pointed wolf ears that sprout from the top of his head and a bushy tail in between his legs. he’s splashed with crimson, and his mouth is smeared the deepest red.
“see, i knew this was where you were headed to,” he laughs. “are you looking for the old lady that was in here? sorry to tell you, sweetheart, but i think i was a step ahead of you.”
you can’t bring yourself to breathe.
“you- you’re the wolf…,” you choke out. the smug smirk never leaves the boy’s face as he leers down at you, and another wave of pure dread drops like a deadweight into your stomach when he nods.
“about time you pieced it together, stupid girl.” the boy clicks his tongue mockingly. “i always watched that stupid village of yours get their panties all in a twist trying to catch me. i mean, human or not, did you guys really think you’d catch anything with stupid traps like that?”
you raise your arms instinctively when he leans down. “please don’t kill me…! i won’t say anything- please don’t eat me!”
he pauses, and he takes a long inhale. you clench your eyes shut, bracing yourself from the crunch of your bones under his sharp teeth, and for the smell of your blood to fill the room. this is it. this is how you die. another victim to the weird werewolf that had terrorized your town for god-knows-how-long, gobbled up mercilessly in the same way the boy had devoured your poor, helpless grandmother.
he laughs again, and you shudder. you tentatively peel your eyes open, only to scream when you see yourself at eye-level with him.
“did you think i was going to eat you too? nah, i’m not gonna do that to you. i’ve had my fill with that bony old grandma of yours.” he grabs your wrist, and you yelp when pain shoots up your arm. he yanks you up to your feet, and you shakily lean against him when he drags you into the heart of the scene of the crime. you don’t want to look at all the blood splattered against your now-dead grandmother’s bedroom, and the boy flings you like a ragdoll onto her bed.
he looks so monstrous, towering over your cowering form. in every other way, he looks like a normal human, like any other boy you’d see frolicking in your hometown, but his animalistic features betray him. the gleam in his eyes mark him as unmistakably a ruthless predator, and your heart feels like it's going to give out.
“what are you going to do to me?” you eke out. “are you going to take me hostage?”
“hostage? for what? do i look like the kind of person to bargain with stupid humans?” he snorts, and when he shakes his head at your foolishness, his long hair tumbles over his broad shoulders. you look like a deer caught in headlights as he clambers onto the bed, and he presses a hand on either side of your face as he cages you in between his body and the mattress.
he’s smiling, but you can’t detect any trace of goodwill or kindness on his face. “do you really want to know what i’m going to do with you, my darling?”
you didn’t know how to respond. he leans down to your level, and you whimper when you can smell the stench of blood and death on his mouth. despite this, he presses his lips against the outline of your jaw, and you quiver underneath the boy as his tongue darts out to lick at your skin.
“i’m going to make you my mate.”
your head feels like it’s caving in.
“what-?” you flinch. “no- no, no- nonono- you can’t do that… i can’t- no, i can’t do that! i can’t be your mate…!”
he narrows his eyes, yet his lips never leave your face. he keeps kissing you greedily, and you push at him to no avail, unable to wrench his heavier, stronger body off of you. you start sobbing and crying out, yet the boy pays no attention to you as his mouth tastes your skin like a starved man.
“be good, or i’ll force you. you wouldn’t want that, would you? i don’t want to hurt a pretty thing like you,” he hisses. you sniffle and swallow back your oncoming sobs and you avert your eyes.
“i promise i’ll be gentle. besides, i’m way better looking than any of the men in your village,” he attempts to cheer you up. “c’mon. look at me. isn’t something like this more exciting than a drab country wedding? i’ll treat you like a princess. just love me, darling. does it matter if i’m a wolf or not?”
“you’re a wolf that kills! i don’t want to be with someone like you!”
he frowns, and his hands move to your cloak. your heart pounds painfully against your chest as his fingers twist at the material. your mother’s painstaking handiwork dissolves like sugar in water under his grip, and you know moving to defend yourself is futile. he quickly shreds your clothes as you cry quietly.
“you would do this too, if you were me.” his fingers trace over the bare skin of your collarbones and dip towards your breasts. his hands are sticky and warm against the chill of your body, and he cups your chest. it’s insane, how well your body fits into his big palms. he watches you with lust-stricken eyes, and his cock strains against his pants when he sees your tears wetting your pretty face and you laying there underneath him, not bothering to fight him off.
he knows. he knows you’re being obedient out of fear rather than true submission, but it’s good enough for him.
“i’m lonely,” he whispers. “you don’t know how it feels. having to kill to live. having to stay in the shadows. having to always yearn from afar because all of those stupid humans can’t see that i’m more similar to them than i am different.”
“t-that’s no reason to ruin my life…!” you protest. it’s a last ditch effort, but you shakily inhale anyway. “please… let me go. we can pretend like none of this happened. i promise i won’t tell anyone anything. i’ll give you my word. just… i can’t be a wolf’s wife- i can’t- i can’t do that-”
he shakes his head. “i want you. you talked to me in the forest. offered me help. treated me like a normal boy my age. i was too scared, so i hid my ears and tail, and you were none the wiser. that- that’s enough proof, isn’t it? that with enough time, you’d come to love me for who i am…”
you let out a strangled cry as a hand starts groping your tits, rough fingers brushing over your sensitive nipples. it feels foreign, having your boobs touched like this, but a dull heat thrums deep inside your stomach. the boy looks entranced as he stares down at your form. the way your plush chest molds and bends to his hands makes him desire you even more, even if he’s aware that you’re terrified to death of him.
“i can’t let you go. i can’t,” he doubles down. any of the remorse you had managed to wrench out of him disappears bit by bit, and he groans as he paws at your body greedily. “god, you’re just so pretty… i have to have you.”
you clench your thighs together. his lips meet yours, and you nearly vomit at the taste of iron on your mouth. he’s clumsy, but he kisses you so hungrily, eager to lap up any semblance of affection. you grip at the sheets as his hot tongue swipes at your closed lips, and you’re determined to deny him. he frowns into the kiss, and you feel a twinge of pride well up.
the wolf exhales angrily. the hand that’s been roaming your chest twists at your nipple harshly. you yelp at the pain, and the boy shoves his tongue into your mouth, moaning into the kiss. you start thrashing slightly. he doesn’t heed any mind to your discomfort, and if anything, he begins grinding his clothed hips against your thighs.
he can’t get enough of how you feel. your kisses are like honey to his mouth, and his body melts at the feeling of you against him. you know he’s going to leave bruises all over your tits from how hard he’s grabbing at them, but despite everything that’s overwhelming you, the heat that pounds against your core only builds.
you can’t breathe. you clench your eyes shut and try to bear it, try to work through the sparks of pleasure that cloud your mind from having your breasts molested, as the wolf kisses you how he wants you. your mouth tastes foul when he finally pulls away, and a string of saliva connects the two of you momentarily.
you glare up at him.
“i want to fuck you…,” his voice trails off. “i want to fuck you so bad. but i have to be gentle. i promised to treat you well…”
your pussy curls at the thought of taking the wolf’s dick. he bucks his clothed erection higher and higher up your legs, and he moans shamelessly into your mouth as he kisses you again. he slobbers all over your mouth like a feral dog, his tongue slithering into your throat like he’s fucking your mouth.
you don’t enjoy this. you don’t want this at all. yet you can’t ignore the throb that pulses at your core, the way your walls squeeze every now and then painfully against nothing. you’re not turned on by this—you’re not. you want to convince yourself of that so badly, but every time you realize the situation you’re put in, pinned down to a bed with a werewolf that wants to stuff every inch of his dirty cock into your cunt, arousal swirls inside your body.
his hands trickle down to your pants, and fear pricks sharply at your heart.
“i’ll be a good mate.” he peels the rest of your clothes off, mimicking the gentleness of a human lover the best he can. “i can be like a real human husband. no, i can be better. i know i can be better than any of those stupid boys in your village.”
you shudder when cold air rushes at your bare cunt. the slick that coats your slit is undeniable, and the boy’s pupils widen at the sight. he swallows, and you watch as his neck bobs. even by human standards, he’s handsome, and your body betrays your mind as he coaxes your thighs open.
“you want me too, don’t you?” he asks. he offers a weak smile. it’s almost sickening, how someone who mercilessly took everything from you can pretend to be a human in hopes that you’d grant him any pity. “i’ll make you feel good. i’ll be everything you want me to be.”
he lets go of your legs, and he grabs at his own clothes, shredding them apart. he groans when his cock springs free of his pants.
your heart drops into your stomach.
“i-i can’t take that-,” you choke out. “that’s too big! you’ll kill me- i’m not kidding…!”
he tilts his head to the side, and he shrugs. his cock is inhumanly huge, and if he were to put that inside your cunt, you swear that you’d be able to feel it in your throat. it’s long and thick and swollen up to an angry red. a few prominent veins run along his length, eager to stuff itself into your soft and vulnerable cunt. his balls hang heavy and big, undoubtedly filled with all the cum that he wants to fuck into you.
he grabs at your thighs again, and you squeal loudly in protest as he keeps you pinned in place.
“stay still-,” he grunts, “it’ll hurt less if you stop squirming like that! you’ll get used to it with time. it might hurt a little, but it’ll feel good with time… now shut up, and let me fuck you already-”
you grit your teeth and brace yourself as he starts rubbing his length against your lower lips. he moans softly, savoring the way your warm body feels against him. you can feel his cock twitch dangerously against your folds, and you whimper in a mix of pleasure, disgust, and fear whenever his cockhead catches at your sensitive clit.
he lines his cock up at your fluttering hole, and you stop breathing. your chest feels tight, and your head feels blown out. you prep yourself for the oncoming pain, but he pauses for a moment.
“give me your name.”
you blink. “huh?”
“if- if i’m going to take you to be my mate, i should know your name at least. before i do this,” he whispers sheepishly. your stomach twists with hatred. why should he care? he’s going to do all of these horrible things to you, so why is he even bothering to pretend to play the act of a caring lover?
“yours first,” you hiss. “if a wolf like you even has a name.”
“i do.” his response surprises you. “michael. it’s michael. i have a human name like you do. i heard that it means ‘he who is like god.’ now tell me yours.”
you lay there for a moment, dumbfounded. you didn’t expect a monster like him to have a label like that. and less so a name as blessed as “michael.”
you hang your head. “...(y/n).”
he hums, and you flinch when his cockhead threatens to break into your hole. “it’s a pretty name. a perfect name for a perfect mate.”
you bite the inside of your mouth and properly brace yourself. he pushes his hips in slowly, his gaze fixed on where his cock connects with your pussy. you weren’t sure exactly what you were expecting, but the pain comes faster than you thought. it burns and stretches, and you cry out, stiffening and lashing out, trying to get him off of you.
“hurts…! ‘t hurts-!!” you screech. you pound and claw at his shoulders, yelling and immediately bursting into another onslaught of tears. the tears are hot and heavy as they trickle down your face, and your legs shake uncontrollably. it genuinely feels like he’s splitting you into two, and the torturous pain makes your head flash white.
michael nearly falls on top of you. your cunt is disgustingly warm and inviting, and it stretches out and envelops him. it’s hot and wet and tight, and despite your constant protests, your pussy is heavenly around his cock. you’re so small, and he knows his wolf cock is about to break you. but god—he wants to break you. if breaking you feels this good, he’ll eagerly shatter you into a million pieces so that he has the depraved honor of being the one to destroy you and strip you of your humanity.
he clenches his jaw. he couldn’t lose his mind. not like this, not when his endgame was right there. “take it. i’m going to be your mate, so you better get used to taking my dick and get used to it fast.”
you hold back a strangled sob. your tears are freeflowing, and it’s hard to breathe. his cock feels like it’s pressing straight up against your womb, and he’s not even giving you the mercy of adjusting to his size slowly. his length invades every inch of your cunt, and his ridiculous girth has you stretched out thin. you know you can’t take this. he’s actively molding your tight hole into the shape of his cock, and if he keeps himself in here any longer, you might actually go insane.
your words slur sloppily. “you’ll kill me- you’ll fuck me to death-”
his breathing is strained just from the pleasure of putting it in, but he still manages to snort at you mockingly. “you won’t die. no one’s ever died from sex.”
you wish you had the spirit to shout back at him, to put up more of a fight. but that instinct has been long extinguished at this point, and you’re nothing more than a sniveling mess as you struggle to breathe through the tightness in your chest.
“c’mon, don’t be boring now.” he truly can’t get enough of the sight. the pretty girl from the village, face stained with tears, legs spread out all for him to fuck into her pretty cunt. to put it as frankly as he can, the boy doesn’t know what he wants to do first with you.
the sweeter part of him wants to kiss away your tears, to comfort you the best he can with a low voice and whisper his undying love to you, to convince you that a life as a wolf’s wife won’t be all that bad. you’ve caught his eye for a reason, and he wouldn’t want to have you snatch away whatever dregs of humanity the hybrid wolfboy was clinging desperately too. even if everyone else regarded him to be some kind of barbaric monster, deep down, even he has a soul that yearns painfully for love. for a romantic partner that could accept him as an equal and open their heart up to him.
but maybe this other part of him is what makes him a monster.
he loves seeing you reduced to this broken mess. he enjoys it, the primal fear that’s evident on every inch of your face. the way you’re nothing more than prey in his arms, with no other choice but to let him fuck your tight pussy out on his monstruous cock, to be the direct cause of all the pain and anguish you’re going through and to enjoy it like it’s the thrill of a fresh kill… it makes the wolfish streak inside of him go wild with delight, and he wants to keep you pinned down and helpless underneath him so he can soak up that bliss a little longer.
your stomach coils up on itself when you feel him slide his hips back slowly. the strangled noise that leaves your mouth is a mix between a pained shriek and a pleasured moan. he’s really too much for you to fit inside, and your strained walls cling to his cock. you’re barely hanging on for dear life just from him penetrating you. you can’t even imagine what it would be like once he would start actually thrusting and having sex with you.
“ahhh, you’re just too cute,” he teases you. “i never knew love could feel like this… it’s so good, isn’t it? no regular human dick could even come close to what i’ll make you feel, my little wife.”
you sob as he slowly bullies his cock back into you, once more making sure that you can properly feel the torturous stretch. the pain wobbles dangerously on edging you towards pleasure, and your vision blurs over slightly as the mounting heat in your gut tightens up. it’s gross, it’s inhuman that you’re getting off on having sex with a wolf, but your own self-restraint is being tested with the small cries you’re letting out.
“ah-,” you pathetically squeak out, “ahh…! michael- michael, please- i can’t do this!”
“yes, you can,” he promptly corrects you. his thrusts are shallow, granting you the rare mercy of sparing you from being speared in half on his entire length. “look at you… you’re starting to feel good, aren’t you? i can feel everything… that little cunt of yours won’t stop tightening up around me. you’re squeezing so much! it’s like your pussy knows better than you who you’re meant to be with.”
your mind shakes. it’s all you can do to keep yourself conscious. all the stimuli are too much: the anxiety, the pleasure, the adrenaline. your thoughts are being smoothed over, all logic coming to a screeching halt as the tightness welling up in your womb is all that your body can focus on. you hate how easily his name falls out of your mouth, how easily you find it to moan, and the wolfboy eagerly devours the attention you give him.
how angelic you must look to him right now! his mate, his precious mate, moaning out his name in pleasure, no matter how terrified they are of him! he moans softly too, and he can’t help but buck his hips deeper and harder into you. your voice and all your little noises are too adorable to him, and he just wants it all.
“you like it, don’t you? yeah, i know it’s starting to feel good. give in to me. you don’t have to do anything but let me have my way.” his breath is hot and heavy and tinged with the sharp tang of blood. you cringe when he kisses at your neck and cheeks again, but with how rapidly his hips are picking up at the rhythm, your thighs tremble dangerously. “i’ll make you cum again and again… oh, you’re just so lovely…”
your cunt sucks him in greedily. feeling his cock rub against your walls and prod dangerously at your cervix makes you grow blank, and your body keeps reacting more and more to what the wolfboy is doing to you. you wonder if this is what people mean when they say they’re being fucked stupid, and if it isn’t, whatever he’s doing to you is coming horribly close.
“fuck…! fuck- no- michael- michael, please-,” you whimper out. you two both know perfectly well that your cries are from how good it feels, but you still refuse to verbalize it properly. michael smiles into the curve of your throat, and he kisses your jugular with what you can only describe as a sickly kind of affection.
“what are you asking for, my love?” he chuckles endearingly. you sob, and your toes curl into the disheveled bed when his cock slides into you just right. your vision skews its axis slightly, and you let out a sharp exhale, mouth lolling open a little. he nips at your skin with his sharp teeth to snap you back to life. “tell me properly with those human words you’re so proud of. ‘please fuck me harder, michael! make love to your wife! give me more of your cock!’”
your cheeks burn with humiliation when he ridicules you, but deep down, you don’t know if you can wholeheartedly refute him. you do want more of him. you do want him to fuck you harder. your cunt purrs in delight every time he slides in and out of your slick hole, and his cock manages to ruthlessly hit all the right places.
it’s unfair. it’s unfair how everything’s stacked against you.
you must have ignored him for too long. michael frowns disapprovingly, and a low growl vibrates in his throat. he ducks his head and bites down on your shoulder, sharp teeth digging themselves into the curves of your soft flesh. you scream out in pain, your walls clamping down on him and another flurry of torturous pleasure shreds your stomach.
“p-please fuck me harder, michael…!” you’re fully crying. your words don’t sound like your own, and you certainly don’t feel like yourself. the tears and snot smeared all over your face makes you feel like some lowlife, and you hate the way he forces you to beg for him. “make love to me… give me- give me more of your cock!”
“see?” he licks his lips, and he grins devilishly as you as he pulls away from your now-marked shoulder. “that wasn’t so bad, was it? nothing wrong with you for wanting more from your husband. i’ll gladly indulge my darling.”
a shaky scream pounds at your chest, and blinding hot pleasure overwhelms your head as he picks up his pace. your moans reach a high-pitched squeal as he fucks himself into you, his cock rapidly pulling in and out of your pulsing hole. it’s not like you make it particularly easy for him either; your disgustingly tight pussy walls cling to him and almost refuse to let him go.
does your body love his dick that much? does your cunt want to savor the feeling of him stretching it out that badly? those thoughts make kaiser swell with pride as he reaches a fast rhythm. despite how sloppily and quickly he’s ramming his whole length into you to make sure you feel every single bit of his dick, he still makes sure that each thrust has his heavy cockhead drilling right at your womb.
he prods at your deepest parts, shamelessly making sure that your womb knows it’s time to be bred. it’s time for him to fill you up with his cum, to fuck a baby into you, to force every part of your body to be tainted with him. from inside and out, from outside to in, kaiser wants to selfishly claim every part of you. that’s what good husbands do to their wives, don’t they? that’s what your folk—the human folk—did, right?
the tightness that gnaws at your core refuses to relent. your arousal runs rampant through your veins, and it feels like your guts are tying themselves into a knot. you don’t know how else to describe the heat that mounts in your core and inside your head. your body and conscience are at odds with each other. your brain rejects michael, your mouth begs for him to hold you and fuck you harder, and your hole sucks him in like it doesn’t want to let go.
“that’s my pretty wife. you have such a fucking slutty body- begging for your husband feels good, yeah? i know, i know, darling,” he drinks up your tears, his hot tongue lapping languidly at your face. you choke back another sob, and he moves to steal a kiss. his tongue invades your mouth, and your eyes gloss over. you’re overwhelmed with his presence. it smells like him, tastes like him, feels like him. you’re crying out and mewling in pleasure into his mouth, and he literally eats up every single one of your lewd noises.
his balls slap against your ass, desperate to empty themselves into you. his cock twitches and throbs inside you, making you shudder in delight. it’s a sick kind of lovemaking, if you could even call it that. your own slick dribbles down between your legs, and the lubrication only makes it easier for michael to greedily shove his cock into your fluttering cunt.
“can’t take anymore- michael, ‘m gonna lose my mind-!” you breathe out. you hate to admit it. you don’t want to tell him how stupidly close you are. you blame how monstrously huge his cock is; how else would he be destroying your body in such an inhuman way? your vision is unstable, blurring even more around your teary edges, and the heat that licks inside of you is unbearable.
michael knows it. he can feel it. the way the velvety lining of your cunt coaxes his cock right up to your cervix, the way it keeps squeezing him and writhing around his sensitive inches, the way your own voice seems to hike higher and higher. your legs tremble underneath him, and michael is thrilled to know just how far he’s successfully broken you. the shame and embarrassment that’s scribbled all over your face makes him almost uncontrollably giddy.
“are you gonna cum, darling? did my cock make you feel that good?” he laughs mockingly. his words are like thorns against your ears, yet with how roughly he’s pounding into your pussy, having mounted you like the uncivilized animal he was, you couldn’t deny it. he’s a predator through and through, and with you trapped in his reach like prey, you know all too well that he’ll be moving in for the kill soon.
the insatiable tightness inside you teeters on the brink. you’re barely holding on, each breath growing more strained than the last. michael doesn’t let up his pace, continuing to rut into you. each snap of his hips has you close, so close, so fucking close—you don’t want him to stop. you clench your eyes shut, bracing yourself to hurtle headfirst into the crash, to topple finally past the point of no return where you would irrevocably become the wolf’s.
“i’m cumming…! ah- michael- cumming- cumming…!”
heat rips through your body in half. you throw your head back, the foreign feeling consuming you whole as if you had been thrown directly into fire. your cunt clamps down on the boy’s cock, and it feels like he’s about to split you into two. your vision completely blurs, and the world rushes around your senses. it’s too much yet not enough at the same time, and you rake your nails down the wolf’s bare back with such a fervor that you must have shredded up his skin and drawn blood.
you shake and squirm and thrash underneath him, but no matter how much you writhe against his body, michael won’t let his grip on you go. he relentlessly fucks you through your orgasm, leaving you a sobbing mess as your juices squirt out of your abused hole and drip down onto the shaky bed. his cock pounds harder and harder, and he groans out as he feels your slick and pulsing walls flutter and clench around him.
“hah- that’s what i thought-,” he chuckles. you can’t breathe. you can’t think. the incessant throbbing in your stomach is still there, but it’s morphed from arousal into something a little more painful. he’s overstimulating your already overrun cunt. “your husband’s dick is that good, isn’t it? don’t worry; i’ll fuck you like this as much as you want… i’ll get you to cum over and over again.”
you dumbly shake your head. your head is foggy, and the throes of your climax don’t want to let you go. “n-o… can’t take any more- no more- don’t want any more…!”
“you’re going to take it, like the good wife you are. you don’t get a choice in this. i’m your husband,” he snarls. you shudder, whimpering in weak protest as he continues using you. it hurts, and it burns, and the coil that refuses to let up in your stomach makes you feel sick. how much longer could this monster last? it feels like he’s been having sex and using your body forever, but even after ripping an earth-shattering orgasm from you, he still hasn’t cum yet.
“it hurts- i can’t do it…!” you smack at his chest again, but you know he won’t let you go. your tears sparkle cruelly on your cheeks, and michael sighs lovingly as he laps at your face. he swings back and forth constantly between treating you like you were a mere bug to cherishing you. was this some kind of karmic revenge from the universe for thinking so lowly of your own village? the home that seemed so far away now?
“take it- take it- fuck- let me make you my proper wife…” fear floods your body when you can feel his cock twitch dangerously deep inside you, your bruised cervix contracting and sucking him in. his balls tighten and continue to slap against your ass, but with how quickly and frantic his movements are, he’s going to cum. “fill you up with my pups… we’ll be such a happy family together-”
your eyes shoot open. cold reality splashes over you as if slapping you back to your senses, even in the midst of being manhandled. “no! no, no…! don’t! please, please, michael- that’s the one thing you can’t do! don’t cum inside- i don’t want to get pregnant with your babies!”
he grits his teeth, and he presses his entire body weight on top of you, determined to keep you physically where you are. he’s determined to make sure you can’t escape from his grasp, as if you’d be able to go anywhere with how disheveled and haunted you are. it’s a good look for you, second only to the loving glances he knows you’d never spare him.
“shut up, shut up…! this is your job, this is what you’re supposed to do! this is what lovers do!” he thrusts once, twice, and when he brings his hips down one final time, your fate is sealed. his own cry dies out, buried deep inside his throat as he cums deep and hard into you. your breath lodges into your neck, leaving you with nothing but bitter defeat and the taste of uncertainty all over your mouth.
his cum spurts everywhere, and it floods your womb. it burns and goes everywhere, painting your insides a pretty shade of ivory white, and you can feel every drop of it flowing into you. it’s poison, it’s heavy, and it’s awful, yet your cunt has no choice but to take every little bit of it. you bite down on the inside of your cheek as it starts to eke out, and you force yourself to endure it. you have no choice but to; this is what survival is for you now. this is the only answer you have now.
you don’t know how you’re going to live with this. you try to console yourself by telling yourself that you had gotten over the worst, but you know that you haven’t. you never will.
“nnghg…!” a stray cry slips from your mouth when something tight and way too big for you to take invades your strained hole. a sharp pain invades and spearheads through you, and your entire body stiffens as his large knot shoves its way into your plush and stretched out pussy. his cum overwhelms your body, stretching out every inch of your battered womb. your stomach bulges just slightly, feeling stuffed to the very brim.
michael nearly collapses on top of you, keeping you folded in half and in a perfect, vulnerable breeding position. his eyes are blown open wide and glossed over in a kind of drunken stupor, yet he refuses to let you go in any capacity. it’s not like you have the physical means to anyway; you’re already so weak from having him force himself onto you, and the pain of being bred and knotted is taking everything in you to not pass out right there and then.
he reaches towards your face, cupping your tear-stained and broken expression with his large palm. you don’t know if the feeling that stirs in your gut is simply the aftershocks of sex or pity towards yourself, but seeing michael look down at you with such a triumphant yet lovestricken gaze isn’t doing your any favors. you know you have no choice but to get pregnant with his children, to watch in horror as your body turns into nothing but a host for these parasites he’s determined to fuck into you over and over, not a single squeeze of semen going to waste with the knot he’s plugged you up with.
“we’ll be perfect together,” he whispers. his words are almost like a mantra he’s brainwashing you with. you wonder who needs it more, the manipulator or the one being manipulated. everything feels like a punishment to you. just where did you go wrong? were you too ambitious for your own good? too hopeful? too willing to jump at the first opportunity for escape that came your way, not caring to see if any part of the rosy details were traps?
or maybe the worst part was that you might have done nothing wrong at all. maybe this was all a twisted machination of the universe. maybe just like what michael believed, you were destined to fall into the wolf’s grasp one way or another, to disappear from the face of society and the world as you knew it, to have him drag you off into the darkness and to become the broken but beautiful wolf’s bride that he must have dreamt of forever.
“i love you.” he kisses you, and you don’t have the strength nor the courage to say those blasted words back to him. it’s not like you could say them back sincerely either. instead you avert his gaze, turning your face towards the red scraps of your cloak that lay on the ground as if they were miniature corpses of their own, left over from a long lost war.
you hope your mother can forgive you when she realizes you won't ever come back home.
KINKTOBER 2023—le cinquième jour, le dernier jour.
#blue lock#blue lock x reader#blue lock smut#bllk#bllk x reader#bllk smut#michael kaiser#x reader#my writing
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ੈ✩ Habits for your academic life
Below are some habits and rules to keep in mind throughout your studies and some tips that will elevate your learning experiences.
☆ Setting boundaries and learning to say no
It is always easy to say yes and join every social event that one is invited to, however its crucial to consider your own personal life and the consequences of your decisions. Hanging out with friends is a needed event as a social creature, however it's better to exercise caution and know when to say "no" to focus on your own goals and dreams. Don't get pulled into the pace of others and focus on finding a routine and schedule that works for your own benefit.
☆ Being comfortable with your own company
You will find in uni that there are lots of times that you will spend alone, and maybe feel a little anxious that you're the only person who isn't constantly in the company of someone everyday like you maybe were in high school. However, realise that even the time to yourself is a time of value, and treasure those moments to focus and work on your own goals. It is easier to get lost and lose sight of your ambitions when with others who don't have the same aspirations as yourself. Use your own time to sit down and work out what you want to achieve and quietly put in the effort to win.
☆ Never being scared to ask questions
It can be quite daunting to ask questions in lectures, so I prefer to ask my questions during times that aren't forced into a short time interval, such as tutorials, office hours, and other forms of learning support that your university/college provides. This way there is no rush to answer my questions and take my time in working through concepts and ideas. Ask questions based on your own conclusions, questions that challenge current rules and perspectives. Think deeper into your lessons and seek to make use of every bit of information.
☆ Being curious
This is very much related to the point above, that being that personal interest really aids with the brains memory retention. The more things you approach with an enthusiastic attitude, the easier it is for your brain to remember and categorise. Having curiosity, even if it is forced, gives a great advantage where you seek to interconnect the information you learn with other data, and grow more networks of neurons that allows your brain to stay healthy and active.
☆ Initiating contact
Struggling with a theory or assignment? Great, it shows that you are actively trying to understand a concept and working your brain muscles. Now the best way to comprehend or complete what you are struggling with is to access support materials. Still difficult? Reach out. Your teachers, professors, tutors are all there for your benefit. Use them intelligently and squeeze every drop of assistance and support from them while they are still available to you.
☆Watching educational content to aid your studies
You can never lose from learning a bit more every day. However make sure to fact check and find your information from trusted and quality sources. In general, it's always a win to be educated in various topics from health, sciences, arts, humanities and more to gain a better understanding of ourselves, our world, and humanity.
For example, I watched a ted talk today, and here is my conclusions from my notes:
ੈ✩TedX: Why Reading Matters by Rita Carter
Summary:
☆Your brain needs a workout as much as your body. And reading fiction seems to be one of the best workouts you can get. (I recommend quality fiction, with that being classic literature because it genuinely exercises your mind with its intricate language techniques and diverse vocabulary)
☆Not only is it good for you, but it's also good for society as a whole because the brain is like a muscle: the more you force yourself through books to take other people's perspectives, to sympathise, to empathise with other people, the more empathetic a society we will have.
ੈ✩‧₊˚
good luck lovelies
~winter
ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚
#university student#self concept#studyblr#study#studygram#study motivation#student life#student#studying#university#uniblr#education#personal growth#personal development#glow up#college#college student#aesthetic#college life#assignment#science#study techniques#study aesthetic#overachiever#divine feminine#manifestation#successmindset#it girl#pink pilates girl#high value mindset
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In the Shadows of Love
Chapter 6 - Vega
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☆ Content: 18+ MDNI, heavy angst, depression, suicidal ideation, implied/reference ED, mentions of blood (nosebleed), emotional hurt/comfort, insecure/intrusive thoughts
☆ Word Count: 7.8k
After your little “diner date” as Shoko and the gang started calling it, you found yourself hanging out with Toji more often than not, much to your surprise. You had your worries that the opposite would occur during said “date”, but it appears now to have brought you closer together.
Meals between the three of you ─ Megumi included of course ─ became a common occurrence, along with shared trips to the store. With winter settling in now, Toji stated he felt more comfortable with having you in his car instead of letting you carry bags home in the snow.
“Don’t need you freezin’ to death out here,” he’d say in an effort to convince you.
Other times, he would invite you over so Megumi could share some quality time with you to make up for all the times it’s just you and his dad. And who are you to deny the sweet boy?
Tonight is one of those nights.
The day began (early afternoon for you) with some games before dinner, enjoying said meal in front of the TV while watching a movie together. Megumi loves anything that features talking animals, so you thought it best to put on Kung Fu Panda, to which he fell in love. Hard.
He tired himself out trying to replicate all the moves, leading to Toji having to carry him off to his room to sleep. Turns out in this one-bedroom apartment, the two share the same king-sized bed. Toji had said before to you that because he’s out all night working, Megumi has the bed all to himself and vice versa during the day. He even took Megumi into consideration as far as bedroom décor went, stating his only preference is the happiness of his son, even if that means his sheets have dinosaur print all over them.
“Kid’s finally asleep,” Toji tells you upon his return, sinking back down into his spot on the couch with a thump. He laughs with a simpering expression, “Now we can watch something with a little more excitement for two adults.” His eyes fall on you from the side.
You jokingly gasp. “How can you say that movie wasn’t fun?” You place your hand over your heart to exaggerate the feeling of shock. “I’m telling you now, he’s going to be doing kung fu all week and have you in the Wuxi finger hold.”
“I can fight better,” he snorts, and you giggle. “I bet I could give any dragon warrior a run for their money.” Toji raises the sleeve of his ivory-colored sweater upwards. The veins and muscles bulge as he flexes with that same annoying grin stretched across his face looking for your approval.
“Okay, Tai Lung,” you tease, your voice coy sounding. “Whatever you say.” Your eyes roll away from him and back to the TV.
Toji laughs, snagging the remote before you can even think about it. “Just for that, I’m picking the next one,” he declares.
He pans through the options, debating what might be a good choice. He has a few ideas, but his primary goal like always is to get a reaction out of you. So, when he lands on a classic you know and love, he wastes no time putting it on.
Bride of Chucky.
“Perfect.” The words roll out like a purr. Or maybe a warning growl? Either way, he puts the remote down, leaning back against the couch and draping his arm over the back.
The movie picks up right away with an introduction to the main characters as you remember quite well. Rob Zombie’s “Living Dead Girl” playing while the one and only Tiffany Valentine makes off after the first kill of the movie.
Toji had thought the combination of blood and murderous dolls would have you leaning into him for protection, but to his surprise ─ and disappointment ─ you don’t. The most he gets out of you so far is a recoil during the first murder committed by Chucky himself.
“That’s what gets a reaction out of you?” His question comes out with a pout he doesn’t even hide.
You laugh through your nose, “Hey, the stabbings are one thing, but piercings getting ripped out?” You shudder. “No thank you.”
“Not even a little afraid of some creepy ass doll running around, killing people with a knife…” He goes silent for a minute as the bathtub scene occurs. “Or…a TV?”
“If we’re talking about Slappy from Goosebumps, then yeah,” you huff. “That guy was nightmare fuel for me, but Chucky I can enjoy.” You reach out for some popcorn, ever so quietly humming to “Call Me” by Blondie as it plays.
Toji takes his own handful before speaking, “You’re one odd girl, I’ll give you that.”
It’s funny the things that can affect you. Meeting new people turns you into a stuttering mess, yet you watch horror movies without a care in the world. As if the blood and guts doesn’t do anything to you unlike the words or actions of others do.
To others, you’re that of an iceberg. The image of you that others see is only a mere glimpse with the rest hiding below the surface. All it takes to reveal that side of you is time to warm up, something Toji is finally starting to see as you grow comfortable with him in your presence. No alcohol needed.
Throughout the rest of the movie, even if you weren’t clinging to him in order to shield your eyes, he still had his ways of keeping the distance close. There’s the brushing of fingers reaching for popcorn that seemed like more than accidents or the arm he has resting behind you this entire time for you to lean your head against.
It's like the awkward theater date you never had as a teen, except you’re the only one feeling awkward about it now. But at the same time, it’s endearing because you’re going through this milestone event in your life.
Except… you still aren’t aware if he’s single or not.
All signs point to yes since you’ve never once heard of another woman, or Megumi even talking about a mother. But she could just not live here, or they’re going through something, or she’s working abroad. The fact is, until you mount the courage to ask, or he tells you, you don’t know.
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t hoping he’s single. You’re enjoying this too much to think about this crush of yours falling apart.
Toji is sweet as could be and he makes you laugh every time you’re together. He continues to treat you and while you can’t return the favor financially, you’ve been trying with the little things like bringing baked goods over with the excuse that you made too many to cover up your nerves.
It's all you could ever hope to have with a friend or even a significant other, even if all it must be is platonic. It’s something you haven’t had in a long time, and one thing you don’t want to ruin by desiring more.
The movie ends and Toji stands up to stretch, collecting the leftover dishes to clean. You take a few, following him into the kitchen area.
“I would say let’s watch another, but I can’t be late for work tonight,” he groans, and you swear you can hear him pouting even with his back facing you.
“There’s always another night,” you reassure.
“I think we should just start the kid now with the good stuff.” His head turns in your direction flashing a mischeavous grin. “What do you think about watching Alien next time?”
“And scar him for the rest of his life over the spaghetti scene?” you reply with a sarcastic tone. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“Hey, I saw much worse at an earlier age and look how I turned out.” He raises both his hands and shrugs all nice and proud.
“And it’s a miracle you’re sane.” He rolls his eyes with a laugh. “I vote that we watch Finding Nemo next time. I’m sure he’d love that one especially with how similar one of the characters is to you.”
He looks to you dumbfounded. “In what way could I possibly resemble a fish?” he says with disbelief lacing his words.
You giggle, “Personality for one; Gill is tough, smart, and cares a lot almost like a dad.” You extend your hand, gesturing to the man. “And two, you share similar features, like the color black, how you glare at others, scowl, even having a facial scar.”
You bite your tongue, eyes widening at what you just said. Another piece of info Toji hasn’t told you about yet is how he even got the scar on his lip. You know more than anyone that it may not be the easiest thing to talk about, mainly if there’s trauma tied to it versus something mundane like getting cut by a sticker bush.
It doesn’t help that he’s facing away from you so you’re unable to read his current expression. “I’m sorry, I–“
“You think I’m all that, huh?” He interrupts with a huff, appearing unbothered. “Bet I’m tougher than any fish in the sea,” he tells you again, with another flex of both his arms this time around.
You sigh in relief, “What about an orca?” you ask, and he flashes you a toothy smile.
“Now that’s a better comparison for someone like me over some stinkin’ fish.”
You both laugh and continue to chat for a little while longer. While Toji is cleaning the dishware, you’re occupying yourself with Megumi’s toys, helping to tidy up. When all is said and done, he walks you out, hanging back in the threshold of his home and the hallway.
“I’ll see you later then, hope you have an easy time at work.”
“Thanks, sweetheart. Try not to have any nightmares later.” He winks, and you laugh.
“If I do, then I know who to blame,” you scoff. “Goodnight, Toji.”
“Sleep tight, and don’t let the cursed dolls bite.” You roll your eyes, calmy walking into your home. Once inside, you’re anything but calm. You practically skip your way over to your couch, throwing yourself onto the cushions to pet Tsumiki.
Sweetheart.
He calls you that from time to time, and the butterflies you feel are something else. It takes a few breaths to relax from such giddy feelings. It’s been far too long since you had someone like Toji in your life, and you crave this kind of attention. This closeness. For the first time in what’s most likely been years, you feel as though nothing could possibly go wrong.
You eventually pick up your phone that you haven’t bothered to look at in the hours spent next-door, and there were several notifications to greet you.
The first dozen were some cheers from work, namely from Kento regarding the publication of the magazine you modeled for.
The second bunch were the obligatory Instagram mentions, the most important being the one from Satoru’s post alongside a series of his choice photos from that day with you.
That’s when you remember things can and will go wrong, as the third set are all various notifications of strangers blowing up your account. The majority falls under Satoru’s post, a bunch of his followers spitting venom your way to target you.
Who’s this nobody he’s with?
Can she get any closer to him? I bet she’s just using him for clout
Must’ve been torture for him :( she’s not even that pretty lmao
Would look so much better with only Satoru.
You want to look away, you really do. You’d love nothing more than to shut your phone off and throw it at the wall, but you can’t bring yourself to do it.
It’s nothing new for you to be hated on like this. The sad reality is that it’s to be expected, no thanks to the anonymity of the internet. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
They’re jealous.
You know that.
Just obsessed fans taking out their anger on you because they wish it was them at his side.
You know that too, but it doesn’t stop the dark cloud that hangs over you wherever you go.
Why don’t you just stay in your lane? Be a flower on the wall?
You should’ve turned the project down, given it to someone else. You don’t deserve the recognition it brings.
This is your fault, you know. You should’ve listened to your parents when they said you weren’t going to succeed in life.
You sit up properly on the couch, tucking your knees to your chest. For a while, all you can bring yourself to do is stare blankly at the screen, watching all the new messages come through every passing minute. It’s a given, considering Satoru’s astonishingly high following. It isn’t until your phone shuts down from a low battery that you throw it aside and fall to your side, letting the tears come cascading down.
You wake up later, still lying on your side with a damp feeling against your face. The light that comes through your apartment is soft, no doubt earlier in the day compared to when you normally choose to wake up. Begrudgingly, you push yourself off the couch, listening to every creak your bones make like dated wood.
The first thing you do is plug your phone in to charge, followed by feeding Tsumiki her breakfast. You ponder whether you want anything, but even if your stomach was growling, you don’t feel all that deserving to eat. Not only does your depression take away your appetite at times, but it also puts a strain on the relationship you have with food and other things pertaining to your day-to-day life.
A shower helps. At least there you can attempt to drown out your thoughts with the water that rains down. Even when physically after you’re clean and smell nice, you still don’t feel all that great. Against your better judgement, you go to see how things were looking today on your phone.
The answer?
Worse.
More of the same shit fills your feed, but with the added bonus now of threats and other hate in your DMs, and all over your own posts that had nothing to do with the magazine. All are a courtesy from the people with nothing better to do than wish harm upon you for breathing the same air as their celebrity crush.
Speaking of, there’s a new message from him.
Satoru Gojo
heyyy so sugu, sho, and I are going out to star plasma later to celebrate, you wanna meet up???
You
Sorry, I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on :( hope you guys have fun though!
Satoru Gojo
boooo :( well if you change your mind, we’ll be there <3
You wonder if he’s seen the same hate you have, or maybe he’s just that good at ignoring it for his own sanity. That, or maybe he just doesn’t care what they’re saying. Not everyone is like you.
Oh, how you wish you could be like that. You also wish you didn’t feel the need to lie to him about having work. The thought of the gang seeing you in this state fills you with disgust, not to mention if Toji’s working tonight.
You place your phone back down on your nightstand, eyes drifting across to your bed. Most of the time, it’s the only place you want to be in, all wrapped up nice and tight under lays of blankets.
Other times it feels like a prison.
All the fabric acting like chains, keeping you bound to your mattress with no hope to escape. It’s during these times that everything outside the walls of your apartment frighten you to no end. And like always, you give in to the call of your damnation.
Sinking down into the cold sheets, you stare now up at the blank, white ceiling. The various scuffs and spots act like sheep for you to count as you make a mental note to clean them later. That will have to wait for a day you feel capable. A day you feel better if that day ever comes before it’s too late.
Why does it seem so easy for others to ignore all the drama of life and intrusive thoughts? They make it sound so easy, that being a normal, functional being is easy but here you are, wallowing in your own misery. You long to feel happy in life rather than the sorrow you feel now.
But will that ever happen?
A few unremarkable days have gone by since then, and you still bear no signs of feeling better.
You’ve stopped crying now, but the emptiness took over. Somehow you manage to get out of bed, only to mindlessly complete your work and anything else you have to do. Tsumiki’s been hanging close-by, as if she senses how distraught you are. Her meows and cuddles are the only thing bringing a ghost of a smile to your face as you shut out the rest of the world.
Food has been minimal, most of it not even having a taste when it hits your tongue. Your appetite is lacking either for anything more than a few bites. All in all, you’re just passing time until you can fall asleep, letting time go by that you later hate yourself for missing.
Depression is an awful cycle.
Today you decided you needed to head to the store. You tell yourself it’s to get Tsumiki more food or toys for putting up with you, but the truth is that your fridge is looking scarce. Your meals have mainly consisted of whatever is easy to make, jokingly referring to it as “girl dinners” to try and make yourself laugh.
You don’t put much thought into your outfit, choosing to wear something easy to keep you warm in this December month. Sometimes it’s nice to try and look pretty to help your confidence and all, but right now you’d rather hide under bulky fabrics. There doesn’t feel like much of a point to care, either way. What does it matter?
It's a quick trip in the end, only coming back with a few bags. You keep your eyes low to the ground, counting the concrete tiles to keep your mind at bay. It works, up until you notice your neighbor hunched over an idled car out front of your building.
Something’s off, you notice, and it makes the hairs stand straight up on your neck.
Never once have you seen Toji express an emotion like the one you’re seeing ─ the death stare he’s giving whoever is sitting in the car. For someone so typically calm, this apparent anger is so much scarier than any cursed doll could hope to achieve.
Who is he talking to?
You want to know, but at the same time you don’t if they’re upsetting Toji this much. Your breathing stills as you walk by, hoping to slip into the front door without being noticed. You make it as far as a few steps up before you’re stopped short from a voice.
“Hey.”
Your body tenses up. You’ve been avoiding contact with anyone outside of work for a few days, and you especially don’t want to be near whatever was going on outside just moments ago. He doesn’t need to be burdened by you.
“Hey, Toji.” You turn your head slowly to the man, weakly smiling.
He makes a few steps up to where you are, a silent urge to continue heading up to your floor together. The fire you previously saw raging in his eyes no longer appears present, instead replaced with his normal scowl.
“I saw your friends the other night at the bar, was hoping you’d be with ‘em.”
You exhale quietly, swallowing thickly. “Yeah, I– wasn’t feeling it that day,” you mutter.
Toji’s eyes narrow with furrowed brows to match but he continues with your pace.
“I’ve got some time before my shift if you wanted to watch that fish movie or somethin’ else,” he asks. You bite your lip as you think of your response.
“I’m sorry, I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on.” You go silent for a moment, save for the tapping of shoes against the tiled floor. “Some other night?”
He raises his hand sheepishly to his neck. “Yeah, no problem,” he says with the hint of disappointment in his words.
Fuck, you don’t want to hurt him. Especially with another lie to someone close to you.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, turning the key in your front door. “See you later.”
“See yo–“ The door shuts before Toji can even finish responding.
The guilt settles in like a knife to your heart. Enough so that you slide your back down the door to sit with your head between your knees.
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Disgust drips off your words.
Tsumiki comes right up to you purring away. For several minutes, you remain there on the ground petting her before finally getting up to put the groceries away. Shortly after, you return to your bed, indulging yourself with some good old blue-light exposure therapy. Tsumiki joins you, bringing in one of the new toys you bought for her.
Later, a soft knocking startles you from your sleep, not even realizing you had fallen asleep in the first place. The time on your phone shows that it’s after midnight, so who in their right mind needs you at this hour?
Cautiously, you approach the door, peering through to the peephole only to reveal…no one?
Huh, wrong house?
You turn away from the door, only for there to be another knock, but still nothing through the peephole. You end up opening the door without even thinking, and now you realize why you couldn’t see anything.
“Megumi?” He stands there teary-eyed, clutching his frog plush tightly in his arms. “What’s wrong, did something happen?” you ask with a gentle voice.
“I had a bad dream.” He sniffles, his lip starting to quiver with oncoming sobs.
“Come here, ‘Gumi.” You take him into your arms, lifting him up, and closing the door behind you as you take him to the couch. With one hand, you rub soft shapes over his back as you sit him down with you. “There, there,” you coo.
Megumi holds on to you tightly like a baby koala. There’s a damp feeling sticking to your chest from the tears falling from his eyes. In this moment, you put aside whatever troubles you might have. He needs you right now.
You give him a minute to relax and calm down, waiting to ask, “Do you want to talk about it?” But he shakes his head in response. “That’s alright, you don’t have to,” you tell him softly, further adding, “I’m right here with you, you’re safe now.”
Toji must be at work for Megumi to have come knocking, so you pull up his number on your phone, texting to let him know about the situation.
“Hey, ‘Gumi? You want to try going back to sleep?” He whines into your shirt, doing everything he can with his tiny hands to stay fixed to you.
“Don’t leave me, please…” He sniffles, and your heart breaks. There are those words again, you think, remembering the time in the bathroom with him once before.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you reassure.
You give him some time to calm down, humming a familiar lullaby to whisk him away to sleep. He grumbles when you place him down into your bed, the spot still warm from your earlier rest, but he finds that he can’t fight his heavy eyelids. Between your song and the fingers running through his hair, he has no choice but to fall asleep once again.
“Ma..ma…” he murmurs, and you feel a tear fall from your eye.
Tsumiki joins you now, curling right up to Megumi’s side like the comforting angel she is. You send another message to Toji to let him know he’s still with you, to which he replies that he’ll be right over after his shift ends.
So much for avoiding contact with others, but it’s for Megumi’s sake right now.
It feels like déjà vu the next time you hear the knocking at your front door.
“Hey Toji,” you greet, parting the door for him to enter. He looks around with a confused look at first. He’s thrown off by the lack of lit candles, ambient light, or anything else. Instead, it’s just you, illuminated only by the moonlight peeking through the apartment.
“Did I wake you?” he asks, meeting your eyes. It’s a good thing it’s dark, so he hopefully can’t see the evidence of your tears.
“No, I haven’t slept yet,” you admit, and it only serves to puzzle him further. There’s a lot he wants to ask, but you’re already motioning towards your bedroom. He sighs, moving to catch up with you.
“He looks right at home,” Toji remarks, brushing Megumi’s hair back to better see his face. He gives Tsumiki some attention, careful not to disturb his son’s sleep in the process. Once Megumi is up into his arms, the two of you head back towards your door. He stops, turning to look you in the eyes again. “Thanks for watching him.” He doesn’t move from his spot, though his brows begin to furrow in thought. “About earlier…is everything okay? Did I do something to upset you?”
You feel your stomach dropping. The guilt you felt earlier comes crawling back up with razor-sharp claws. “Oh. No, no ─ I’m…sorry about that,” you stammer out, feeling your chest tighten. “You didn’t do anything, I promise.”
“What’s up then, you’ve been actin’ weir–“ Megumi interrupts with some slight stirring in his sleep from Toji’s raised voice.
“I’m okay, Toji. Really,” you try and convince, despite feeling the exact opposite. Another lie that stains your soul, but you remind yourself that it’s not his problem. You’re not his burden to bear.
You’re not sure if even bought it, especially after the noncommittal grunt he makes with eyes that stare intently, as if peering into your soul despite the darkness.
“Alright,” he says after a minute, his voice noticeably calmer, but still unsure. “If there is something, you can talk to me, okay?”
“I will, thanks.” You open the door to let him out. “Goodnight.”
His head dips to you before the door shuts completely. “Goodnight,” he replies, with your name punctuating.
For some reason it hurts to hear your actual name for once instead of a pet name.
With your apartment empty once again, it feels colder than ever. Lately you’ve been feeling that way a lot. It’s only when Toji is there that your house truly feels like a home.
You meander your way back into bed, curling up into a ball facing the window. You can’t shake the cold you’re feeling, no matter the number of blankets overtop your body. Even the dimly lit skies seem to relate with you.
When was the last time you could see the stars shining so beautifully?
There was a time you yourself felt like a bright star once, one that floated easily through the cold expanse of the universe without any issue. Unlike the other stars that met their fate, there was no spectacular supernova at the end of it all. No rainbow plumes of stardust to vividly show all of existence how good of a life you’ve lived.
It was more like a flip of a switch when it came to you. Shining one day like normal and the next, a bleak void of what you once were, absent of any light.
You roll away to face the wall opposite of your room, moving your hands to clasp either shoulder in a self-embrace.
I miss the warmth.
You wake up alone for once, with Tsumiki nowhere to be found from where you lay. It’s nothing you worry about quite yet, as you figure she’s out in the living room watching birds. You get up to investigate, but to your dismay, she isn’t out there either.
You don’t see her anywhere.
Strange, you think. Maybe she’ll come out for breakfast…?
You try that next. Heading to the kitchen to prepare her usual pampered meal, making noise as you call for her.
“Tsumi!” you croon, adding a pspsps after, but again, nothing.
There’s no way she could’ve gotten out of the house, so she must be around here somewhere. Your heart beats a mile a minute as you’re scouring in and around every piece of furniture you have looking for her. Eventually, you do find her, all tucked away inside your closet on a pile of your clothes.
“There you are!” you exhale in relief. “Do you know how worried I was?” you coo. You then move to pick her up and she doesn’t protest, but she also doesn’t start purring or mewling either.
You bring her out the kitchen, placing her down with her bowl. Your heart sinks again when she sniffs the dish and ultimately turns her nose up.
Tears weld up at the edge of your eyes. “Fuck, Tsumi’, don’t do this to me.” You start to pace, chewing anxiously on your lip as you watch her huddle up in another corner of your apartment. “What’s the matter, baby?”
Fuck, fuck, what do I do?
Searching the internet is your first idea, but the results are anything but helpful. Half the results are akin to that of WebMD (read: you’re already dead). By this point, you’re hysterical now, fixing to hyperventilate as the last bit of control you have slips away.
Of all the times for something like this to happen, it has to happen to Tsumiki. You’d give anything to swap places because you love her more than life itself. But when it rains, it pours, and right now it feels like a hurricane is hanging overhead.
She needs a vet, but you can’t possibly run with her across town. Waiting for a taxi will only prolong whatever she’s suffering from. Fuck, if only you could afford your own car, this wouldn’t be an issue!
But then you remember one thing.
Toji has a car.
Toji.
With no time to waste, you sprint out the door of your apartment, frantically knocking on his all while desperately hoping he’s even home to answer. Your prayers are answered when the door opens, revealing the man himself, half-asleep and shirtless.
“Toji, I-I-I–“ your voice cracks between sobs.
“Woah, woah, slow down,” he interrupts, placing his hands on both ends of your shoulders. He lowers his head to your level. Seeing you in distress snaps him awake. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Tsumiki ─ I-I don’t know, I think she’s sick!” you stammer out, “I need to get her to a vet but–“
“Go get her; I’ll get my keys.” His voice is calm as he tries to reassure you, bringing his thumb up your cheek, wiping away a tear with the rough padding of his thumb. “Breathe, okay?” You nod, but you’re still trembling.
Toji releases his hands from you, allowing you to run back inside to grab Tsumiki. You place her gently into her transport while at the same time, Toji enters your apartment, taking the crate from your unsteady hands.
The two of you exit the building as quickly as you can, letting Toji settle her into the backseat while you situate yourself right there at her side, cooing to ease your baby’s scared hollers. Toji wastes no time pulling out on the main road for the directions you gave him, putting on his seatbelt as he went.
From time to time, he looks back at you through the mirror, seeing you hunched over in tears over the crate. You’re trying to be calm for her, you really are, but it’s so hard.
You arrive in record time at the emergency clinic, Toji once again carrying the crate inside the building while you briskly make your way to the receptionist. You tell them your name, and everything else they need to know while they work on all the check-in procedures, eventually handing you a clipboard and pen to fill out with further information to fill out.
Toji guides you with a steady hand to the waiting area which includes several benches and tables to take advantage of. He places Tsumiki’s crate on a spot directly in front of you, pulling you down to sit instead of letting you pace the room. Both your legs and hands are shaking uncontrollably with fear, teardrops dotting the paper and ink as you try to write out what they need.
“Hey.” Toji cups your dominant hand with his own, bringing the movement to a standstill. “Breathe,” he calmly requests. “I know it’s tough, but you gotta try and relax for Tsumiki. You aren’t gonna be helpful to her if you suddenly drop over,” he tells you, and he’s right.
“I can’t let anything happen to her,” you mutter with a hoarse voice. You lean forward in your seat, moving your hands to the back of your head.
Toji slings his arm around your shoulder, pulling you against him. “I know.” His words are low, only for you to hear as he speaks into your ear.
“I don’t know what I’d do if something h-happened to her, she’s–“ A hiccup interrupts you. “she’s all I have left. Without her, I…I can’t.”
Toji takes the clipboard from you, putting it next to Tsumiki so he can fully embrace you with both arms. Your head is pulled against his chest and the fabric of his shirt helps to muffle your shattering heart.
“That’s not true,” he begins, his tone of voice calm, but equally stern, “You have me, Megs, those other three friends, even that boss of yours. You said it all yourself to me.” He pauses, bringing his hand up through your hair. His grip is tight yet offers indescribable comfort. The bottom of his jaw settles on the crown of your head. “You are not alone. Not anymore,” he promises.
If you could put a pin on when you start to fall in love in with someone, this would be one of those moments. Even if all he’s doing is reassuring you as any good friend would, it means the world to you and more. A moment in time you’ll never forget for as long as you live.
“Toji, I–“ You lift your head from his chest, taking one sniffle before you catch that metallic scent. You move fast to clutch your nose, but it’s too late. “Shit!” you hiss.
Toji leans back to see what happened. His eyes widen upon seeing the blood trickling down the palm of your hand, hitting his shirt in the process. Thankfully, there’s plenty of tissues given the environment, so he grabs a handful to hold under your nose.
“Fuck,” you cry out, “I’m so sorry, Toji.”
“Don’t be,” he huffs with some underlying amusement. “A bit of blood is nothing, I couldn’t care less.” You swap places with his hand holding the tissues. “Are you okay?” he asks, helping to clean the area around your hand.
“I’m sorry, Toji,” you mumble, lowering your head. “I’m such a mess right now, I don’t mean to burden you.”
“Don’t say that,” he replies, resting his palm on the apex of your head, teasing your hair in the process like he does to Megumi. “You have nothing to be sorry for, and you’re not a burden. Let your ‘knight in shining armor’ be here for you.” He winks.
His helpful teasing earns the hint of a smile on your face and a short-lived laugh, but it’s enough to begin to lighten the mood. At least until you hear a voice calling out your name.
You stand up, reaching out for Tsumiki’s carrier but then you hesitate. “Hey Toji?” He hums in acknowledgement. “Do you mind coming with me for this, please?”
He smiles. “Not at all, princess.”
When all is said and done, Toji drives you back home, walking you back up into your apartment. There, he places the carrier down gently, allowing Tsumiki to roam free.
“I feel, so stupid,” you sigh, kneeling down and hiding your face with your hands out of embarrassment. “All of that for a simple tummy ache.”
Toji chuckles, “Hey, it shows how much you love her. You can’t fault yourself there.”
You turn your head to look at him with a soft smile. “I’m sorry I took so much time out of your day.” Your mind flashes back to when he opened the door earlier in his sleeping form and you can feel the heat reawakening in your body. “I woke you up for it too,” you breathe out a laugh.
“What did I say about the apologies, princess?” He crouches down in front of you causing his denim jeans to bunch up. One of his knees bumps against yours given how close he is. “I’d like to know what else is bothering you though,” he suddenly inquires, and you feel the same guilt you felt the last time creep back up like bile in your throat.
Once again, you border on the crossroads of what to say. It’s a huge step to trust someone else enough to share your vulnerabilities ─ but if it’s Toji… maybe you can? You did it before and it worked out better than expected.
You remain quiet as you stand from your spot, moving towards the couch. While you’re busy pulling your phone out, he rises and makes his way over to your side.
“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he says, trying to meet your eyes. “But we’re friends. I want to help you if you’ll let me.”
It’s a lot coming from Toji.
You’ve learned over the course of knowing him that feelings don’t come easy. He does what he can, and what he feels is the best course of action. It’s a big reason as to why you struggle to pay him back for all his moments of kindness. You’ve come to realize that that’s how he best expresses himself, not only through teasing, but also through acts of service.
Being not only a bartender, but also more importantly a father, it’s forced him to open up more to others and to himself. To reflect on his own feelings and shortcomings so he can be better for Megumi. It’s not easy and he certainly doesn’t do all this effort for others, but for you, he will.
You pass him the device silently, pulling your knees to your chest. You let one knee rest against your cheek as you look his way, and at the same time you avoid eye contact. Toji’s expression softens, and there’s the slightest hint of red on his ears, but mainly there’s some confusion in his features.
“These are beautiful ─ you’re beautiful,” he tells you, looking back your way. “What’s the problem with ‘em?”
You want to smile. It’s hard not to let alone the blush trying to come alive. There’s just one issue.
“This,” you proclaim, scrolling down to expand the comment section with your finger. “This,” you repeat, “is the problem.” You wrap your arms around your legs, hugging them to you with an empty expression.
He looks back and his face immediately darkens into a scowl. “You know they’re just spewing shit out of their asses, right? Bunch of dumb fucks that don’t have anything better to do,” he grumbles, more curses following under his breath.
“They’re not all wrong though,” you let out a dry chuckle.
“No, uh uh.” He shakes his head, the words spilling out fast and like that of a growl, “Do not do that to yourself. Don’t think for a second this shit means anything.”
“I can’t stop thinking about it!” you exclaim, drawing out each word. Your fears have come alive as the dam breaks. The tears that fall from your eyes are hot and heavy, flooding down your cheeks. “Every single thing they say sticks with me, and I hear it all the time in my head!”
He moves to sit in front of you, placing one hand down on your knee. “You shouldn’t listen to anything on here,” he says more calmly this time, scrolling further down the post. “It’s all garbage, they’re garbage.”
“I wish I could, but I can’t,” you mumble, tightening your grip around yourself to the point your nails are digging into the fabric of your pants to reach your skin. “I hate it so much,” you drawl, “and I hate mys–“
“No.”
His tone makes you flinch, stopping you from continuing. The only noises shared between you two is that of the sobs you try and hold back to not make a sound. To not let another hear you sob.
“Look at me,” he almost whispers to you. “Please?” he insists when you don’t respond.
You eventually do, keeping half your face hidden beneath your forearms, but your eyes finally meet his own and you see the worry behind them.
“No matter what anyone says, you deserved to be on that magazine. Satoru didn’t make you the model you are, that was all you, do you understand?” He pauses, waiting for you to nod before he continues, “Listen to me when I tell you that you are beautiful. These assholes don’t mean shit, and even he agrees,” he finishes by handing you your phone back.
You’re puzzled until you see what Toji is referring to ─ a recent update on Satoru’s page where he expresses how disgusted he is by the comments. He goes on to bash the people spewing hate at someone he deems his friend and how you deserve none of it. The words bring more tears to your eyes, but not all of them are sourced from a well of sorrow this time around.
Toji goes on to say, “You should post your own pics too from that day. Be proud of yourself and the work you put in.”
You still can’t help but scoff, “Yeah, and give them more fuel? It’s bad enough they’re under all my other photos too.”
“So?” he scoffs back. “Fuck whatever they have to say. Remember what I told you.”
“Okay,” you sigh, wiping your tears. “I’ll do it.”
His lips upturn into a wolfish grin. “Good girl. Show ‘em who’s boss.” He pats your knee a few times before returning it to his side. “Now what do you say about ordering in some food? We can watch that fish thing too with Megs if you’re up for it.”
Your eyes widen, darting to the clock on your phone to see how late it is. “Oh my god, Megumi! I’m so sorry, is he–“
“Relax, he’s fine,” he states, appeasing your worries. “I had his sitter pick him up from school.”
“Oh, thank god,” you sigh again. “I was so caught up with my own shit, I completely forgot.”
“No harm done, so quit apologizing already,” he teases.
“I’m sorry ─ fuck, sorr–“ You clasp your hand over your mouth to shut yourself up. Toji gives you a blank stare with his mouth stretched in a fine line before your stomach breaks the silence with a loud growl. You hide yourself behind your legs from the humiliation, meanwhile Toji breaks out laughing.
Funny how the tables have turned.
“I’ll take that as a yes then.” He stands up, pulling his phone out from his back pocket. “Speaking of the kid though, his birthday is coming up.” His hand meets the back of his neck. “It’d mean a lot to him if you’re there for it, we’re havin’ a small party.”
“I’d love to,” you reply with a bright smile ─ the first and most genuine one you’ve made in several days.
“Thanks.” He returns your smile. “I’ll go get the kid then and order your favorite, so get comfortable while I’m gone.”
As he leaves, you go back to some of the latest posts on your profile. To your surprise, a lot of the hate and threats you saw were no longer there. Even the threats in your DMs disappeared or their accounts suspended. You have a feeling Kento has something to do with this, to which you’ll have to thank him later.
You pan through the official photos from the shoot, choosing all your favorites. With a shaky hand, you remember Toji’s words and hit the button to upload your post. Moments later, a new message comes through from your group chat.
Satoru Gojo
oi oi, you’re posting again! are you okay??? we miss you :(
You
I’m okay now, I’m sorry for worrying you guys.
Suguru Geto
Don’t be, you have every right to want your own space. We’re just happy to hear from you again.
Shoko Ieiri
next time though you should tell us so we can help you feel better 💕
Satoru Gojo
yeah^^^ I was this 🤏 close to getting that double D DILF you like to drive us to your place so we could see you
You
oh my god, don’t even start
Satoru Gojo
hehehe I can see you blushing through the screen >:3
Shoko Ieiri
no need to deny the obvious :)
Suguru Geto
I’m with them on this. :)
You wipe the happy tears off your face just in time for Megumi to come running in. He throws himself into you for a nice big hug, with Toji following closely behind.
“Food’s on its way, you feelin’ better?”
“Yeah.” You nod in response. “And thank you, Toji. I’m glad we’re friends,” you tell him with a sincere sounding voice.
“Me too, sweetheart.” He plops down next to you, pulling Megumi into his lap to bounce on his knee. “Now let’s get this movie going then so we can watch Alien later.” He gives you a devious grin.
You scoff, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, funny joke.”
“We’ll see about that,” he teases.
Megumi ends up thoroughly enjoying Finding Nemo, reciting Dory’s iconic line “just keep swimming” over and over to the amusement of you both. Toji on the other hand tries his best to deny the Gill allegations, but it proves to be an impossible battle once Megumi began to point it out and back you up on the claim.
After dinner, Tsumiki ends up joining you three on the couch as well, feeling better than ever now that she has the laps of three people to choose from for love. But between all the laughing and combined joy, you can safely say that in this moment, you feel a whole lot warmer than you did before.
☆ Notes: I will self-indulge myself with movie and song titles that I know and love unapologetically. It’s my way of giving recommendations in a self-insert fic where I try and make the reader as inclusive as I can within the realm of what I’m trying to achieve. jennifer tilly is my celebrity crush <3
also I don’t know about you all, but when I get super stressed out and cry, my nose starts bleeding like hell which is why I wanted to add that scene in specific to add to the depth of the reader's anxieties
revising this chapter makes me realize how much dialogue is hard to do for me. I get so stuck on whether or not I believe a character would actually say what I’m making them say, but then I try to remind myself that there’s some wildly outlandish stuff I’ve seen in other fics that’s still enjoyable to read even their personalities are crazy OOC. Hope that isn’t too much the case here, as soft!toji is something I really try to focus on given all the shit he’s been through.
Here's a fun toji edit by the way >:)
#jjk#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen#toji zenin#toji x female reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#jjk au#toji x you#model!reader#megumi fushiguro#shoko ieiri#gojo satoru#geto suguru#nanami kento
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My current letter to the HBO Folks.
@stardust-sadie's latest letter, @merryfinches, @poison-into-positivity and so many others inspired me to write my own letter to David Zaslav. This is what was sent, feel free to use any of it if you'd like, I stole some of Stardust-Sadie's commentary with their permission (in their letter).
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Email Addresses:
Only emails that worked:
The rest of these are not working at the moment:
[email protected], [email protected], To whom it may concern: attention David Zaslav, [email protected]
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To whom it may concern: Attention David Zaslav
I realize you all are probably being swamped at the moment by an influx of responses to your decision to not greenlight Season 3 of Our Flag Means Death, so I appreciate you taking the time to read this if you do.
I am writing today, much like many of my fellow fans, hoping to provide you with evidence and earnest feedback as to why you should reverse the decision not to renew. I have used HBO Max in the past, but once a show I liked was over, and another one on another network came up that we wanted to watch, we decided to cancel. I was on HBOMax before I knew about Our Flag Means Death, and aside from Doom Patrol and Harley Quinn, we didn't have too many other shows we wanted to watch. After cancelling for many months, I heard of Our Flag Means Death from an artist that drew for other fandoms that I liked. Looking into the fanbase, I quickly found pieces that I felt were definitely up my alley and decided to cancel other networks for a few months to jump back into HBOMax.
Why is this important? I don't watch ads in a lot of places. I block pop ups because they are often very spammy, so I don't get recommendations for shows like most people. I'm a [AGE][GENDER][PROFESSION] and I avoid advertising in most cases. You know where I get my recommendations? Fanbases, casts and crews. The absolute adoration of an artist or writer that I like loving a series will get me to look into and watch that show before any other kind of advertising. Your fanbase is free advertising. THAT BEING SAID -- I'd like to explain to you what meant so much to me about this show.
Not only was I absolutely floored by the quality, and story of Our Flag Means Death, but the thing that kept me wanting more was the messages it portrayed. So rarely is there a show that embodies drama, comedy, and an all encompassing belief in forgiveness and change, and accepting others for who they are. This show gave me a new outlook on life. It helped me to heal parts of myself I didn't realize were hurt. I found love and compassion in the cast, the crew, and the fanbase that I haven't experienced in modern television in a very long time. I became engaged in other max shows because of it (Wellington Paranormal, The Last of Us, His Dark Materials, Lovecraft Country, etc). I'm actively watching shows and content I had previously decided not to worry about because of the influence of Our Flag Means Death.
For me, as a fan, knowing that Max has content that means so much to me and others, shows that as a company, you're willing to have content that not only sparks the imagination, but fosters kindness, acceptance, and forgiveness no matter what race, gender, sexuality, or financial background you're from. That is the content we, the fans, have been looking for in so many places and have found them lacking. Another great example of this is the Barbie movie that you had a sign language interpreter for. While I am a hearing person, I still watched it because it was fascinating and so incredibly inclusive, and that tells me that you, HBOMax as a company DOES care about inclusivity.
When we waited for the renewal announcement this winter, I purchased Our Flag Means Death merchandise from your store (a mug and a blanket) because I knew I needed something to commemorate this great show no matter what happened. I am one of many fans who did this. Fun, reasonably designed merchandise is something we the fanbase can get behind.
Our Flag Means Death is a powerhouse in television, and I know that it's only meant to be 3 seasons, so it won't be a cash cow forever, but I can tell you it's brought SO MANY PEOPLE to your platform that would normally just not have joined up. I am on HBO Max right now so that I can watch Our Flag Means Death whenever I want to. You're getting monthly subscription fees from me and so many other people JUST for this show. Your decision to cancel it is actually hurting your numbers, as can be seen in the clear drop in shareholder confidence since the announcement on January 9th. Attached is a screenshot of the WB Discovery Inc Stock for reference.
In addition, a colleague of mine said this best so I will quote them here:
"Furthermore, the decision to cancel the show has led to a very prominent and public backlash from the very passionate and vocal fanbase of Our Flag Means Death. Fans have made their displeasure known across all the major social media platforms: X, Instagram, TikTok, Tumblr, YouTube, Facebook, etc etc. This backlash is unlikely to die down in the near future, and is likely to continue to reflect a poor image of HBO Max to subscribers and investors.
The egregious decision to cancel Our Flag Means Death has also caught the attention of journalists writing for major publications, such as Vanity Fair, The Hollywood Reporter, The Independent, and even more niche internet publications such as Collider. "
All of this is true. As an active member of this fanbase, I am seeing this across all platforms.
I implore you, as a huge consumer of fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, historical, and lgbtqia content, to please reconsider renewing Our Flag Means Death for its 3rd and final season. We the fans are willing to put our hearts and souls into these letters because this show made an impact on our community that is so immense and cascading that it can't be quantified. I guarantee that a good faith act to do so will not only restore your reputation but open new revenue streams if you continue with this kind of inclusive and heartfelt content.
Thank you for your time,
[NAME]
#ofmd#our flag means death#renewofmd#renew our flag means death#renew ofmd#ofmd renewal#renew as a crew
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Based on my ask last round, can we get more of the satyr demon s/o thing? Slender, Hobo, and Jane separately if you will :3
Have an amazing day our beloved scary noodle writer!!!!!
I hope you enjoy and also have an amazing day :)
Jane:
Thinks you're the cutest thing in existence. Honestly, I can see goats as being one of Jane's favorite animals in general, so the fact that you have goat-like characteristics absolutely helps win her over. Something that popped into my mind, while the fur on your lower legs and your hooves are able to withstand the cold to a decent extent, I totally see her trying to stitch you a pair of leg warmers specifically for you so you don't get too cold, and if you ever wear them she gets so giddy and excited about it. Speaking of hooves, she totally asks if she can paint your hooves with her nail polish. You might be hesitant about how much nail polish she'd need, even though you've only got one set of them, but she comes prepared and gets extra nail polish just so she can paint them. I would say to accept it, as it makes her so fucking happy and content to just relax with you late at night, both of you laying in bed while she paints away at the top of your hooves. She'll always try and do your favorite colors, or designs she thinks you'll like. She likes feeling like she can help and spoil her partner, so being able to do things like that for you makes her very happy, and she loves you so much she'd try and do just about anything for you. Also, she definitely knits you both multiple pairs of matching leg warmers so that the two of you can match when you go out together in the winter.
Hobo:
Like with Jane, thinks you are the most adorable thing in the entire world. Hobo absolutely adores animals, and so he's naturally prone to thinking you're the cutest. Your horns, your soft fur, your cute fluffy tail, and your fluffy satyr ears, what's not to love? Hobo has also probably cried at least a few times over how cute you are. He has a tendency to get really tired and emotional, and if he sees you curled up somewhere in contentment the tears are just gonna start coming out from how much he loves you and how adorable you are. I've said before a few times that a very enjoyable/pleasurable experience for Hobo is having his partner stroke and pet his wings, and I think his tradeoff with you would be allowing him to stroke and pet your fur. He just finds it so soft and fluffy and comforting, and after a long day of work just curling up with his head in your lap so he can stroke your legs in peace would be one of the most relaxing and enjoyable things he can do. I think he finds it nice to date a fellow demon as he feels a bit nervous about scaring humans with his more demonic qualities, so he feels much more at ease around you, knowing he doesn't have to be worried about scaring you off or making you nervous in any way. He feels so much more relaxed and content around you, and it makes him so happy to have a partner like you.
Slender:
Something about you just makes this man go weak in the knees and want to scoop you up and hug you. He isn't sure if it's for your goat characteristics, the fact that he just loves you so much, or a combination of both. He isn't used to finding people adorable or cute and yet he can't stop wanting to coddle you 24/7 because you're so cute. Slender is a very strong Eldritch being, and so with you being a little goat demon, he feels the need to be protective over you and watch over you. He knows you can take care of yourself (you've made it this far after all), but he just wants to protect you from any other demons that might have their eyes out for you. Also??? Totally gets you cute satyr slippers for you to wear inside. You had once confessed that you were nervous about scratching up his nice floors in the mansion, so he did a combination of getting more rugs and custom commissioning Trender for a pair of satyr slippers for you to wear around the house so you don't have to fret, and they're the softest fucking things you've ever walked on and he feels so proud to be able to get you a gift like that that you enjoy so much. If you ever want or need custom satyr-approved clothing, you can just feel free to ask him and he will get it for you, no matter what, as he loves spoiling you and getting you useful gifts.
#creepypasta#creepypasta headcanons#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta x reader#jane the killer#jane the killer headcanon#jane the killer headcanons#jane the killer x reader#slenderman#slenderman headcanon#slenderman headcanons#slenderman x reader#hobo heart#hobo heart x reader#hobo heart headcanon#hobo heart headcanons
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i think it's partly bc of rerecording her albums and having fans love the vault tracks that she now feels she cant leave anything on the cutting room floor just in case
i definitely think that's part of it, but - and i say this as someone who likes a majority of the vault tracks - i think it was a good thing that they were initially left on the cutting room floor. including them originally would have detracted from what the albums were trying to say.
speak now and 1989 are the best examples of this. the point of speak now was two things: taylor wanting to prove she could do it on her own, and each song referencing a specific person or scenario. with the exception of when emma falls in love (the weakest of the lot imo) and castles crumbling (which has a feature), the SNTV vault tracks are more...vague in who/what they're about. and sure, if they'd been released on the original album with the secret messages we might have more context, but that isn't something we can say for certain. speak now is the only album that's about multiple people and we can pinpoint who or what each song is referencing (except maybe sparks fly which was included for the fans, and haunted but that could be because i've never cared enough to investigate if it's about john or joe).
as for 1989, i think the vault tracks are definitely stronger than some of the songs that made the cut (as much as i love WTNY and HYGTG, they're not her best work), but i don't think they would have fit into the story she was trying to tell. whether taylor successfully made an album that is about independence and not love is up for debate, but she claims that was her intention. IION and say don't go aren't great fits for that story, especially since it was one she was trying to tell within the secret messages.
i think red's biggest problem is that it was already too long of an album (which is also part of speak now's problem). i think the red vault tracks fit the theme of all the varying degrees of love, but red TV clocks out at over two hours. it's possible that forever winter in particular was too raw a song to release at the time (has she played it live yet? i haven't kept up with eras tour that much).
and while i love the fearless vault tracks, i do wonder if including them would have earned it less acclaim. they're good songs, but fearless is by far her most polished album imo. even the deluxe tracks, which i also adore, kinda take away from how well rounded the standard album is. it's very possible it's only capped at 13 tracks because cds back then could only hold so much, but i also think that it was a better decision for the marketing of the album itself.
but now, with ttpd and the eight million versions of midnights, it's harder to find the good shit because it's surrounded by so much filler. and yeah, part of it is that some of the songs on those albums are just...not good (bejeweled my deepest enemy), but i think a culling would have greatly benefitted them. ESPECIALLY with ttpd. taylor's always been songwriter who releases stuff that could be diary entries, but at least before it was like...you at least edited this. now it just seems like we're getting every single journal entry as is. and it's tiring. 31 songs is too much. hell, 16 songs for lover was too much.
ultimately i think it comes down to the fact that she no longer gets any push back from the people she works with, and fans are both willing to accept quantity over quality and (for many swifties, but not all) there's just a refusal to criticise her work at all. and i think taylor's desire to constantly release new content (which i think is a combination of a constant need for relevancy combined with the fact she's always writing) combined with being surrounded by yes men and adoring fans is impacting her work negatively. which has been the case since lover if not earlier, but i think midnights/ttpd are her most glaring examples of it.
anyway lmao sorry this got long. sorry for never being on here and then finally showing up to have opinions about taylor swift. do you guys still think i'm hot.
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hi, sarah! i see you've watched a lot of british panel shows/comedians and i need a specific recommendation: where to start with dara o briain? he's right now my favourite taskmaster contestant ever and after listening to his episodes on the tm podcast and off menu, and watching him on wilty, i'm completely in love with his humor and manner of speech. what are the "must see" things he's done in the past? he's such a prominent figure in british tv but idk how to choose what to watch next
i have watched a lot of panel shows...you got that right hehehe...
i'm happy for you that you found someone you really like and get to explore a lot of new content! i gotta say, that doesn't happen often for someone quite so famous and prolific like dara, so it's fun for me to think back to all the stuff he's been in :')
he's a comedian, but he's also known for being mr big smarty pants, so he's done a lot of comedy programmes as well as smarty pants programmes & documentaries. you may choose to start in one of these distinct directions if there's a side of dara you like best! let me start with a few of my own faves...
he's probably best known — definitely by my followers, but also in general — for being the long-time host of the news-focused panel show mock the week, which JUST ended after 17 years. of the panel shows about news, of which there are many, this one is the most accessible and the most silly. dara is a GREAT host and has hilarious dynamics with the regular panelists, especially his literal best friend ed byrne (who we heavily stan). in fact, on mtw, you'll also see lots of other taskmaster contestants you may recognise, including panel captain and cult fave hugh dennis, frankie boyle, russell howard, and ed gamble. i know 17 years is A LOT, so if you've never seen the show and aren't sure where to start, i'm gonna recommend you give series 15 a go — as a new-er panel show fan, i think a more recent season like this one will be most accessible. also, this compilation of comedians roasting dara on mtw for half an hour is fucking hilarious lmaooo
dara has been on tons of panel shows as a panelist opposed to hosting, and you'd be amiss not to catch up on him on qi! one of stephen's smart lil boys and a clever laugh, he was made for that show. you can find dara's episodes here and i have all of qi linked on the masterpost! if you've never seen qi here's a silly clip that is mostly sean being one of stephen's naughty lil boys but it's a great example of the learning a lot/learning absolutely nothing dichotomy that can happen with a great panel (including dara!!)!
apart from that, i'd highly recommend you watch his stand-up! i put two specials on drive for you, 2012's craic dealer and 2015's crowd tickler (sorry for the mid quality — they're just dvd rips). these are pretty perfect for blossoming dara fans because they're funny, witty, clever, goofy — all the things we love about dara at once!!
as for my final personal recommendation, you should definitely check out dara & ed's great big adventure, a bbc two miniseries where the besties travel along the pan-american highway! they have top-tier wholesome bantz, ed is very fucking goofy (you will find quickly that being a fan of dara is being a fan of ed hahaha), and they explore some very beautiful cultures. i will work on getting decent rips of the show for my drive, but in the meantime you can watch this on dailymotion!
it would be amiss if i ended the recs here, because dara has hosted a lot of different series — but these series are based around very specific interests of his. some of the big ones include the following: go 8 bit, one of his most recent shows about classic and indie video games, very nostalgic with fun guests; science club (if you need full eps of this lmk, i should be able to get them but it will just take a lil time) and school of hard sums, nerds talking about science and maths, def have qi vibes; and the underrated stargazing live, broadcast every winter and when dr brian cox & our fave amateur astronomer mr ó briain talk about stars and shit! these are less necessary watching and more worth watching if the topics tickle your fancies~
okay i hope that helps!! there is obviously so much more to his career — including his many books — but i think this is overwhelming enough and i hope you don't mind the long post! feel free to catch us up on what you're enjoying down the line, we love dara and hearing what others love about him too :')
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In Defense of Toby Fox’s Halloween Hack
Twitter is all in a tizzy about the Halloween Hack as of late. The apparent reason for this is because the Halloween Hack uses a word commonly used as a homophobic slur, not taking into account that the hack was created in 2008 (when the internet was a different place) and that 2008 was 14+ years ago (and people are known to grow and change over this time). There appears to be some amount of discussion over whether Toby Fox should be “cancelled” for this.
I’ve seen a fair bit of banter from both sides on this, but what I haven’t seen people on the internet talk about is the CONTEXT of the game in which this word is used. And while I don’t spend a lot of time talking about HH due to Toby’s stated embarrassment when people draw attention to it, if the internet’s gonna go dig up old drama for some reason, then by golly, I’m going to go dig up my old love for this game.
So if you want to come take a wild ride through some internet history and literary analysis, then go buckle your seatbelt and click the Readmore.
(content warning: discussion of homophobic slurs)
A quick bit about me: I am an adult on the internet, and I fall into the original Halloween Hack (hereafter abbreviated as HH)’s target demographic: teenagers who existed on Starmen.net, an Earthbound fan website, in 2008. I am also a current admin for Starmen.net, which puts me in a good position to comment on the history and culture of the site as a whole, and how that ties into the reception of HH.
Starmen.net has a long and rich tradition of events called Funfests, in which the site staff run a combination art/writing/music/etc contest for the site members, usually coalescing around a theme such as “Earthbound”, or sometimes “Winter” or “Halloween”. These events offer prizes such as forum avatar/rank privileges, and historically they sometimes even offered physical prizes. The 2008 Halloween funfest had an entire website made for it, which you can view here. Toby Fox submitted HH to this 2008 Halloween Funfest under the internet handle Radiation.
This is the context of HH: a passion project made by a teenager for a fan website full of other teenagers/twenty-somethings. If you go to a high school science fair, you could rightfully lambast every project for being undeserving of a Nobel Prize, but that’s not why we host high school science fairs OR Starmen.net Funfests. These events are an opportunity for teens to show what they are capable of and receive commendation from both their peers and a panel of judges selected specifically for this age demographic and venue.
For perspective, here’s what one of the hosts of the 2008 Funfest had to say about HH:
“Radiation nearly outclassed himself with this effort of skill labour and love. What a lot of fun. Despite getting repeatedly killed in the sewers this was one thoroughly enjoyabe hack. I Think I’ll go and play it again!”
HH won an award in the 2008 funfest-- a #1 in the “Most Effort” category. For some perspective, few people on Starmen.net go to the lengths of creating an entire game for a Funfest (and HH has a playtime of roughly 5-6 hours!). Of those who do, most of the resulting games are consistent with the output you would expect from a teenage userbase, since it’s not fair to expect teenagers to produce professional-quality work. That said, I can say with confidence that HH is a standout in the areas of both effort and quality.
Another thing that needs to be said of HH is that it is not a standalone game made in today’s modern game engines-- it is a hack of a preexisting game. Earthbound's codebase is notoriously complicated, and a lot of the tools that modern Earthbound hackers use to make their jobs easier (eg Coilsnake, Ebmused) didn’t exist in 2008. Toby had to do a lot of manual coding grunt-work to make HH, up to and including manually typing hexadecimal values into his computer in order to compose Megalovania. (Source: Toby wrote a really in-depth post about the process he used to make HH way back when, which I’m referring to here, but it’s unfortunately been deleted since then.)
I can imagine a hypothetical objection at this point: “ok but high effort homophobia is still homophobia”. In this post, I am also going to argue that Toby’s usage of this word can be considered artistic merit when taken in context, but you’ll have to bear with me for a bit while I explain that context. I’ll also talk about some of the cool and neat things this game does along the way because I think they’re worth talking about.
HH is, at its core, a derivative fan work of the video game Earthbound. And while I love Earthbound deeply, I also recognize that it’s a cult classic that not everyone has played. So while I encourage people to play the game I love deeply, I’ll also sum up a few relevant plot beats here so folks can understand the source material HH draws from:
--Ness, a thirteen year-old boy, meets a creature named Buzz Buzz from ten years in the future who tells him that an alien named Giygas has destroyed the world (direct quote: “All is devastation”). As such, Ness and his friends must save the world.
--One of Ness’s friends is a shy boy named Jeff with a penchant for shooting bottle rockets at enemies
--Jeff’s dad is an odd character named Dr. Andonuts. Dr. Andonuts is a reclusive scientist who lives in a snowy region called Winters who sent his son off to boarding school at a very young age. Andonuts’s lab includes no other signs of life, certainly not any indications of a wife/Jeff’s mother. Andonuts ends his conversation with Jeff by saying “Let’s get together in another ten years or so.”
--Towards the end of the game, Dr. Andonuts uses a device he created called a Phase Distorter to send Ness and his friends to the venue for the final battle. This is very clearly telegraphed as a one-way trip, as the kids’ brains are described in text as needing to be transplanted into robots to get there, but the kids go along with it anyway because the world is at stake.
--The kids go on to fight the final boss in a spectacle that words can’t do justice to here. All I’ll say is that after a long-fought battle, in the grace of an unexplained Deus Ex Machina, the souls of the four kids are impossibly returned to their bodies so they can enjoy their happy ending.
These are all canonical events that happen in the base game of Earthbound. Earthbound’s sequel, Mother 3, was released in 2006, two years prior to HH, although the English fan translation wasn’t released until around the time of the 2008 funfest, interestingly enough. Mother 3 does develop Dr. Andonuts’s canonical character somewhat, but I won’t discuss it in further detail here other than to say it mostly re-emphasizes his odd, solitary nature and his overly cavalier attitude towards his science experiments.
It’s also worth noting that in an oddball game like Earthbound, there are a lot of weird and funny idiosyncrasies to theorize on. There are pencil-shaped statues that block your way, which need to be removed with a device called a “pencil eraser.” Ness and his friends fight robots, aliens, and Krakens, but they also fight handbag-wielding ladies and walking mushrooms. Dr. Andonuts’s character oddities, while strange, fit nicely into the evenly distributed mesh of oddities that comprise Earthbound’s world.
Derivative works, particularly fan works, exist in conversation with the source material. They answer questions posed by the source, interpolate details left out of the original, and otherwise build on the world of the original in a collaborative way. This conversation sometimes happens in a one-on-one manner, between fan and original creator, but it also happens in conjunction with the fan community as a whole. When a theory takes traction, it will begin to appear in more and more fan works, growing in popularity and notoriety until it is “accepted” as the most common interpretation of canon’s strange idiosyncrasies. Newer or more fringe theories are less likely to be taken as a “default” interpretation, but they are more likely to be taken as “fresh” or “interesting” until/unless they, too, begin to gain traction.
HH exists in a few conversations: one with the source material, one with the fan community of Starmen.net (and the broader Earthbound community as a whole, although there was much more overlap between the two back in 2008), and one with Starmen.net’s Funfest culture. In order for HH to be well received by the Funfest judges, it would need to be aware of the community sensibilities as well as push the boundaries of the fan conversation with Earthbound as a whole-- a careful balancing act of being both interesting but also recognizable.
So, the fundamental fan question that HH tries to answer is “why is Dr. Andonuts LIKE THAT?”
This is an absolutely fair question, and Toby was certainly not the first to ask it, although his answer in the form of HH is one of the most high profile now.
HH is set in the world of Earthbound a few months after the final boss fight in autumn, but one where Ness and his friends did not magically return after their one-way trip to the final boss. Word has it that Dr. Andonuts has turned evil and must be defeated. On its surface, this is standard fare for a throwaway plot for a Funfest submission, but the magic of HH is that it does not treat this premise as a throwaway plot. It sets out to earnestly discuss why this happened by delving into Andonuts’s psyche.
Coming back to the idea of derivative works existing in conversation with the source material and interpolating unexplained details: Earthbound does not explain why Dr. Andonuts lives in solitude, nor does it give any hint as to the identity of Jeff’s mother. It also gives no indication as to why Andonuts didn’t seem to have bonded well with his son other than the handwavey explanation that Andonuts is just “like that”. HH initially poses the question of “why did Andonuts turn evil”, but leaves the reader to puzzle that out while battling monsters in Earthbound’s RPG engine.
At first, Toby offers a partial explanation: in HH, Dr. Andonuts is portrayed as feeling immense guilt at having sent his son into what he perceived as a death trap. (quote from the game: “The world is dead, and I’ve become senile with guilt and rage.” He also says stuff like “what’s the point in living without them”.) As such, he turned evil and created zombies to storm the world of Winters, causing a surge in refugees and desperate survivors. This is why the main character was sent to kill him.
(image transcription: a picture of a menu with the text “What do you do!?” followed with a single option: “Kill him”)
But in order to see the depth of this explanation, the true answer to the question “why is Dr. Andonuts LIKE THIS”, the player must hit “B” to cancel out of a menu at the correct moment, something Earthbound players tend to learn by habit from closing the equipment menu so many times, but never used as a plot-relevant mechanic in the base game. HH takes this subconscious muscle memory and turns it into a mechanic gating off half the game if you don’t “spare” the enemy, a precursor to the “spare” mechanic that would debut seven years later in Undertale.
When the player does this, they enter Dr. Andonuts’s “Magicant,” a dream-construct representing his inner psyche, with his hopes and dreams and fears all laid bare. The main character is tasked with finding Dr. Andonuts’s lost Courage. In the base game, Ness enters his own Magicant, so this feels familiar to a veteran player, but it also gives Toby the chance to more closely examine Dr. Andonuts’s character than he otherwise might be able to do.
Over the course of the rest of the game in Dr. Andonuts’s Magicant, the player continues to control the main character, a bounty hunter named Varik, but the NPCs in the game often mistakenly treat Varik as Andonuts. The dialogue we see from these NPCs reflects memories from Andonuts’s own life. We see a lot more characters try to make connections with Dr. Andonuts (”hey don’t you want to play baseball instead of doing math?”), but these are apparently rebuffed througout Andonuts’s life. One NPC guarding the entrance to the path leading to this lost Courage advises “Be careful. Be yourself.” We see memories of Dr. Andonuts’s presumed wife/Jeff’s mom, who is an OC Toby created for this work to answer the questions posed by canon.
Varik is tasked with fighting three “demons” behind three doors, where each demon is said to be stronger than the next. Since this segment takes place inside Andonuts’s mind, these are unsubtly implied to be Andonuts’s inner demons. The second and third doors represent Andonuts’s relationship with his son and his guilt over getting people killed; the first door is relevant to this post, so I’ll talk about it in more detail.
Inside the first door, Varik sees Andonuts’s memories of something called “Remember Me,” who despite being faced in a battle, is friendly and affectionate and causes no damage apart from being “hard to think about.” This enemy has a stock overworld sprite of a male NPC from the base game.
(image transcript: a smiling purple sprite in an Earthbound-style battle. The text box says “The Remember Me? was a little hard to think about again”)
At the end of this map, we see a cutscene in which it’s implied that Dr. Andonuts felt disconnected from his wife, perceiving her as an incessant insect. She says things like “Lately, you’ve been acting kind of... disinterested in me. Is there something wrong with me?” She asks if Dr. Andonuts has been hiding something from her, which triggers the following battle:
(image description: an Earthbound-esque battle against three enemies, each a sprite depicting a closeup of a man’s muscular body: a bicep, a chest, and a swimsuit-clothed groin area)
All three of these enemies are named NO. The music that plays in the background is deliberately unsettling, and their battle moves consist mostly of “flexing in a masculine way”, “slapping their buddies in a masculine fashion”, and “being hard to think about again”. After three turns, these enemies deliver a series of un-dodgeable moves that kill the player before it’s possible to defeat them, ending the game. The only way to proceed in the game is to select the Flee option in the menu.
To summarize the themes being presented here, Dr. Andonuts is gay and repressed his homosexuality to try to preserve his relationship with his wife due to his lack of courage. From a game design and literary merit standpoint, this NO battle is actually a really poignant way of portraying Andonuts’s mindset and all of the fears that kept him in the closet, portraying men’s bodies as an enemy that he must fight, or in failing to do so, must run from. Remember that Earthbound takes place in 199X-- none of the 1990′s were known for being especially tolerant of gay men, nor was 2008 when Toby made this hack; 2008 was the same year that California passed a bill intended to ban gay marriage. In another since-deleted web page, Toby said that one of his motivations for creating HH was “the lack of non-stereotypical, major homosexual characters in media”. With that in mind, this is a surprisingly sensitive portrayal of the pains of repressing one’s sexuality, especially from a teenager.
Toby also portrays some complexity in Andonuts’s relationship with his son Jeff, making the case that Andonuts helped Jeff in his fight against Giygas as a way of living vicariously through him to feel like less of a monster. From this standpoint, it’s easy to see that Andonuts’s abrasive language might be a defense mechanism for his own self esteem issues, calling others monsters to deflect from the fact he sees HIMSELF as a monster.
(image transcription: a screenshot of the main character fighting Andonuts from the end of the game. The text in the textbox from Andonuts says “you idiots. look at your decaying, frostbitten bodies”)
(and just as a side note, I think the reminiscence of this dialogue to Flowey’s dialogue in Undertale is funny and interesting)
Dr. Andonuts says the following: "If I can't live with myself, why should anybody else? Ergo, nobody will live. Then, everybody will understand all the pain I went through. When everyone understands me... They'll cherish me so." This isn’t the expression of a healthy mind, but it is a portrayal of someone who’s experiencing some serious pain. I’d also argue that it’s a nuanced and sympathetic portrayal of a character who is clearly in a crisis.
Another Andonuts quote: “you’re going to kill me, because that’s what a hero does. he has to kill that monster, right? even in this form, i am shaking with fear. i don’t want to die. leave me alone”
The second-to-last fight in the game is against an enemy called Id. In Freudian psychology, the Id is the representation of one’s most base desires, in contrast to the Superego who restrains a person from operating on these desires. The game up until this point does a good job at portraying Dr. Andonuts’s Superego-centric repression strategies, so getting to see his underlying base desires directly is a novel development. The enemy Id consistently reiterates a desire to be left alone and for the main character to not kill it. At the end, it apologizes for not being much of a fight. Only then does Varik fight Dr. Andonuts proper, and without the Id, all that’s left is the Superego-fueled repression, labeled in-game as “hatred”.
Andonuts’s villain monologue starts as such: “I know what this feeling is. It’s hatred for the person who came so far just to destroy an old man. My mind is gone. All that is left is pure hatred.
YOU SEE THIS BURNING, BLOODY UNIVERSE. YOU SEE THIS ULTIMATE, UNLIMITED POWER? Varik. I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOUR SHIT. you little fuckers are going to have your bodies ripped in half. i’ll shove your asses so far down your throats that when you crap, you’ll sing fucking beethoven.”
This monologue is the precursor to the infamous line:
(image transcript: a screenshot from the final battle, in which Andonuts says the words “tl;dr: eat shit, faggots”)
As established earlier, this is a line uttered by a gay character who is in a tremendous amount of pain, which would make it an act of slur reclamation. We could argue about whether Toby Fox is in a position to justify this usage, but I refuse to have that conversation because I don’t think real life queer people should have to out themselves in order to justify the art they make. Whether Toby Fox is actually queer or not is, I would argue, immaterial to the story he’s trying to tell here, which is nuanced in a way that a homophobe would be unlikely to write.
We can also have the conversation of whether this word choice is a good decision or not-- and there are, I would argue, a lot of parts of this game that a storyteller with more experience and maturity would have handled better. There are some parts that come across heavy-handed and needlessly edgy, and there are parts that could have been handled with more grace. We can discuss whether “bury our gays” stories were stale by 2008, or whether stories of queer pain had fallen out of vogue for stories of queer joy. But again, this is a work made by a 16-year old, and being needlessly critical of a fangame made by a teenager for a community of predominantly teenagers feels needlessly meanspirited. Just because the game has been unforeseeably thrust into the public light like this doesn’t mean we need to eviscerate it from a 2023 lens. It’s not fair to Toby Fox, neither the original 16-year old creator nor the adult celebrity today.
So I’m not going to do that. What I am going to say is that a queer reading of this work would indicate that this word usage may very well have been a decision made with artistic intent, and a death-of-the-author reading of this work might indicate that this word has artistic merit anyways. If a gay character sees gayness as bad and uses a slur associated with gayness to demean his opponent, that does fundamentally say something about this character, and in this case it reinforces the existing themes that Toby had put in place. I wouldn’t recommend people in 2023 take this approach in storytelling lightly, but I can see and appreciate the spirit in which the game and this word choice appear to have been made.
In the end, Varik does defeat Dr. Andonuts and kill him.
(image transcript: Varik standing above the machine containing Dr. Andonuts’s dead body, not depicted onscreen. The text box reads “You feel a little like this situation could have been avoided.”)
This is one of the last text boxes of the game, and I think it’s a good ending note for this work-- saying that queer lives do NOT need to go this way, that we do not need to bury our gays, that this genuine pain that Dr. Andonuts experienced is not an inevitability.
In conclusion, I do love Halloween Hack for what it is, imperfections and all. It was very clearly a labor of love made by a very earnest and well-meaning teen, and a lot of the things that would later go on to make Undertale so popular are present in their nascent forms here. HH has some genuinely interesting things to say about Earthbound, from both a plot and a character standpoint, and it’s clearly a good-faith attempt at grappling with queer and psychological subject matter. If people on the internet were to engage sincerely with it rather than judging it (and its creator) based on one out-of-context screenshot, I think they might find a diamond-in-the-rough that still manages to be an absolute gem of a fangame.
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TSUYU ASUI HCS (๑╹ω╹๑ )
It’s Tsu’s big day!! And I haven’t written for her yet! So here’s some hcs<3 I love Tsu she’s the first ever mha character I found out about!! Isn’t it funny her big day is right after shoto’s?
enjoy tsu stans! She’s a bit underrated so here’s some more content 💛
Tsu is such a caring lover!!
like I 10/10 recommended dating this lovely young lady
you two love to have private outings if that makes sense
like going outside to a private place
your special place
like near a beautiful peach tree maybe
with lots of flowers and small animals
and of course she loves the water so the beach!!
but more so when there’s less people, she prefers to go really early to see the sunrise
Tsuyu’s love language is gift giving, quality time and small little physical touches
she likes giving you cute little cheek/hand kisses
and kissing your nose
💗💗
no fair [your name] I want her :(
HOW’D YOU BAG HER?!
Tsu gives you bracelets with meaning like, she’ll research the gem that represents love and buy you matching ones
i feel tsu would also be into crystals so she’d buy you ones for protection and good luck <3
you help her take care of her many plants every day
she and momo also makes sure the dorm plants stay healthy
its canon tsu would have a boho room (horikoshi confirmed it since we didn’t get to see her dorm)
search up boho I actually like it a lot
Though she prefers to hang out in your room
or go out somewhere
she’s not easily impressed by typical things and isn’t afraid to voice that
she wants you to be honest with her too
she tells you she doesn’t like typical restaurant dates that are noisy with chatter
And if you get her flowers at least think about the potting and if she likes those kinds
try not to see her as being meticulous she just has her preferences and expects you to respect that
And you do, so she appreciates it!
trust me her love in return is definitely worth it!!
she likes to hold hands as you walk to and from school together
actually she just likes to hold your hands everywhere
when walking to the school, gas station, beach, walking in the halls, lunch, anytime!
Anytime is hand holding time!!
kissy are more so for in private tho 😗
she a lil shy frog (＞人＜;)
Tsuyu also love sleep, cuddle and nap together
especially in winter
You keep her all warm and snuggled up into a blanket
hot air blowing in your room
she really appreciates that you do this for her
she usually likes to keep it out her face but if you have some time she might let you play with her hair!
not all the time tho
but sometimes it does feel good
Tsu can also knit, I feel
she would make you two matching sets of knitted gloves, hats and sweaters
even more so in winter
they look really cute too
its not the basic knitting
go on Pinterest, knitted clothes can be made really fashionable people just only think of the granny designs 🤦♀️
asui also encourages and reminds you to do your homework and not only focus on hero studies or hobbies
she will help you and is rather intelligent as well
which I believe is true about frogs
btw don’t ask her if she eats bugs she’ll slap you with her tongue
if you study with her/get tutored by her your grades are sure to show improvement
she’s so proud of you!
any of your accomplishments in fact!
shes super supportive and any event or sports your want her at she’ll be there!
She helps you save up for any equipment you may need or whatever!
even just being there cheering you on!
she even brings the girls with her sometimes!
she really enjoys seeing you happy
but don’t be mistaken if it’s something she’s seriously uncomfortable with she’ll let you down gently about it
but your not upset because 9/10 she accepts your decisions
I just hope they’re not reckless ones
If it is it might lead to arguments if you don’t start caring for your own safety
she gets scared for you if you aren’t for yourself and it puts stress on her if you don’t bother to change
the relationship might stop there
Asui isn’t picky but she certainly has her boundaries
On a lighter note
tsuyu is a pretty good artist!
she’s one of those artists to give you a drawing of yourself on your big day!
or for an accomplishment!
she has drawings all over her room and she blushes if you admire them
you can beg her all you want to let you go through her old drawings
shes never letting you
btw she will probably introduce you to her reptile friend from middle school
the relationship also ends there if you discriminate her
shes a mutant type too, you can’t do that to her
if you like her tho you guys become a trio!
her friend cries if you accept her as well
tears of happiness of course
tsuyu would cry if class 1A threw her a party for her day
she doesn’t mind if class 1B is there or not but if her reptile friend is that’d make her day!
I feel she would like vanilla ice cream cake with a thin layer of strawberry icing
the gift you got her was a crochet set
your reasoning was so she could learn to both knit and crochet,
maybe even teach you so you can do it together :)
ENJOY!! I LOVE TSU SM SHE SUCH A SWEETIE
HAPPIEST OF TIMES TO YOU TSUYU!!
#anime#anime and manga#luffyvace#anime headcanons#fluff headcanons#mha tsuyu#mha x reader#mha headcanons#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#tsuyu asui#tsuyu x reader#asui tsuyu#mha asui#mha x gender neutral reader#mha x gn!reader#x gn reader#gn <3#x gn y/n#gn guys#gn s/o#gender neutral reader#gender neutral post#enjoy <3#mha girls#female hero#class 1a#i love her
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Ceres: BITCH IM A MOTHA!!! Pt. 1 🍂👩👧✨
I am not a professional astrologer. I like to study astrology and give my astrological observations. Do not steal my work. This is the work of TarotLadyTalks LLC.
I am back with another series! I wanted to learn about the asteroid Ceres, so I wanted to dive deep into how Ceres is expressed through the signs. I will share some of the information I have noted. I hope you enjoy reading and learning through this!!! Part 2 will be out tomorrow. Do feel free to tip at $tladytalks if you do enjoy my content, as I do work hard to make this kind of content.
Anyway, let's get into it!!
Here is some information about the asteroid Ceres from an astronomical + Greek mythology perspectives.
Astronomy:
Ceres was the first asteroid to be discovered. Discovered by Giuseppe Piazzi on January 1, 1801. The asteroid was named after the ancient Roman grain goddess (Greek name: Demeter)
Ceres revolves the Sun once every 4.61 years (earth years).
The largest asteroid of the main asteroid belt found between Mars and Jupiter. It was even designated as a dwarf planet in 2006, due to its massive size compared to the other "asteroids" in the asteroid belt.
Greek Mythology:
The Story of Ceres:
Fun fact: The word cereal comes from Ceres! Think about it. Ceres is the goddess of harvest, and what is cereal made from?
Known as the Roman goddess of agriculture, grain, and a mother's love. Ceres was the daughter of Saturn and Ops, sister of Jupiter and mother of Persephone. Known as a benevolent goddess.
She was known and loved for her service to mankind and providing food to the humans (service: Virgo). She taught human how to grow, preserve, and prepare grain and corn to grow and harvest. She even was responsible for the fertility of the land.
She was one of the only gods/goddesses that are known to be involved in the daily lives of the common people (another Virgo trait: day to day life). She was looked to as the nurturer of mankind
Worshipped at her temple on Aventine Hill, one of the Seven Hills of ancient Rome. She even had her on festival, the Cerealia on April 19. They also celebrated her during Ambarvalia, a roman agricultural fertility rite held at the end of May.
The seasonal changes are also connected with Ceres. Persephone, Cere's and Jupiter's daughter, was kidnapped by Pluto, god of the underworld, to be his bride. Ceres was furious and even more so when she found out that Jupiter gave Pluto permission to kidnap Persephone. Ceres disguised herself as an older woman and refused to offer fertility to the Earth and caused a famine. The other gods tried to resolve her anger, but the only thing that could appease her was getting her daughter back. While Jupiter agreed, Pluto gave Persephone food that when eaten in the underworld, she couldn't return to Earth. Therefore, as a compromise, Persephone would return to Earth (spring) and stay with her mother until it was time for her to go back to the underworld for four months (winter). Autumn represents Ceres' grievances of having to part with her daughter until she comes back from the underworld (spring).
With this, we can argue that Ceres also represents the natural cycles of life and how we recover and nurture ourselves in times of loss. Ceres can also represent how we recover.
What Ceres could mean astrologically:
Based on the story, we say that one's Ceres can represent:
How we may like our food.
How we deal with the cycles of life (loss, gain, and repeat)
How we come into our feminine energy.
How we nurture ourselves and others (as Ceres did)
How we show patience, devotion, and nurture as those are the qualities also needed to cultivate a garden.
How we recover in the time of loss
How we even like our routine (since Ceres was involved in the daily lives of the people)
How we give service to others around us
How we give philia love, the love we give to our family, friends, and community. I believe Ceres would fall under this category as she made sure to help the humans around her by teaching them how to grow and feed themselves.
Fertility and abundance. Possibly a lot of squares and oppositions to one's Ceres can make it tougher but not impossible for something to be as abundant as we want.
How we grow and nurture ourselves that is healthy to us. One person's soil isn't the same as another's, and that's okay.
Possibly our parenting styles as Ceres represents the motherly, nurturing energy we give, and this can feed into how we nurture our children.
Ceres gives similar energy to the moon.
Possible rulership of Ceres: Virgo, Cancer, or Taurus.
Also, since Ceres is an asteroid, one may not necessarily feel the prominence of Ceres unless it is in exact or close conjunction with a personal planet. So check your chart to see if you see this theory as well!
Ceres through the signs:
Aries:
The type to show tough love (yet can be gentle with it).
May like to deal with life's changes head on and want a sense of control to make sure that things are going their way.
This individual may like to nurture people in a way of motivating them that they are an independent bad bitch and can do anything they put their minds to, and they don't need anyone's help (make sure this doesn't morph into hyper-independence though).
Shows love and care by teaching people how to fend for themselves. They may see dependency as a sign of not having a good support system. Doesn't mean they think being dependent is a sign of failure, but this native may think that helping you help yourself is the greatest way to help you.
This native also will fight and protect the people they love with all the force they have.
Nurtures themselves by forcing themselves to get up and be active instead of just letting life pass.
May like spicy foods a lot, since Ceres represents food. Or may detest cold food!
Could be more of a disciplinarian kind of parent. This isn't to say this native will beat up the kids, but this native's parenting skills may include having a tighter grip on their kids because I feel like yall would rip this world with your bare hands about yall kids. May also teach their kids how to be independent, assertive, and never back down from accomplishing anything you want.
May love to exercise or love doing competitive activities like sports a lot.
Could find abundance by going out and getting it!
Taurus:
This native is patient with others. May show love through gift giving (as Taurus is material possession)
^Is a stable force in their loved ones lives. May teach their loved ones how to enjoy life and not allow people to compromise them or make them settle.
May like to eat comfort food a lot.
Nurtures themselves through sensual activities. Bubble baths, towel wraps around the head, eating on their own time instead of the usual three times a day.
Could be a patient, grounded parent. May also spoil their kids with money and gifts.
Could even nurture themselves by surrounding themselves by nature. May have plants in the house to feel better.
Feels better by taking life slow and steady. May like a slow routine.
Possibly could have a garden? This native makes me think that they may enjoy this kind of activity to feel better.
When dealing with changes, this native may have a harder time with transition, but can make the best of it by slowly allowing change and seeing what they can make of it. If things are going to be lost and change, may as well take a nap.
Gemini:
This native likes to nurture themselves or others by socialization and communication. The mental connection is foundational for this native
^Not only is communication foundational, but it also have to healthy and safe for this individual, otherwise it will cause emotional pain to this native.
This native may deal with loss by needing to vent or write out their thoughts. If you don't already, keep a diary. This native needs to speak their pain out. Going out with trusted friends could also help them a lot.
This native goes out to eat and enjoys the fellowship of friends and family. They may love to go out a lot.
Abundance is found through friends and family and simply being their witty, clever selves. They can talk themselves into a good opportunity! Abundance can also come from multiple opportunities (ex: multiple sources of income)
This parent may feel like a friend to their children
Extremely smart native, and can use their shrewdness to help their community in conjunction with their talent of networking
May like to multitask so much throughout the day and involve their friends in their everyday routine. Ex: may invite friends to go to the grocery store, I think that is so cute. May even like to keep lists of all they want to accomplish that day (similar to Virgo Ceres, go Mercury!). I feel like mainly if this Ceres placement is aspected to Saturn though.
Cancer:
This native knows how to nurture others. This native is empathetic, protective, and even defensive when it comes to protecting themselves and their loved ones.
They teach love in a way that is soft, empathetic, but also with strong boundaries. Love is not unconditional if you are being taken advantage of.
This native nurtures themselves by sprucing up their space. Ex: cleaning their house, cooking good food, and even renovating. And they also nurture themselves by surrounding themselves with their family and close loved ones.
May heal from loss by doing the above as well. This native will also engage in sensual activities to heal. They also will cry as they know crying is healing for the soul.
This native may feel in service to their community by "raising a village." This native may like to help babysit or invite others to their home when said people are in a time of need. People they trust, of course. They are a shoulder to cry on, but this is not meant to be one-sided. Again, love is not unconditional if you are being taken advantage of.
This native has a strong maternal instinct. Especially if harmoniously aspected, this native is the kind of parent that is "archetypal." Will sacrifice for their kids, raise them and be there in every aspect of their lives, and has a sense of pride being a parent.
Their daily routine is the same thing and comfortable. Their routine may not require much going out. This native likes to stay home as much as possible unless Jupiter or Mercury is aspected in some way. Or if in the 3H or 9H
This native is abundant in terms of their familial position(being a respected member of the family), and even abundant in terms of gaining homes, inheriting ancestral heirlooms, or running finances in the family.
Leo:
This native has no issue making sure that their love is known. They will go out their way for their people no questions asked. They make sure its obvious, and that's the sun for ya!
This native is abundant! Unless the Sun is afflicted, but this native will feel like there isn't anything they couldn't receive. It may be easy for them to network with abundant individuals who can help them.
This native may like to nurture themselves by pampering themselves, and this could be in the form of an expensive shopping trip to simply just doing something that truly is connected to their inner child. Nurturing oneself is fun, lighthearted, and from the heart.
This native likes to be nurtured and validated as much as they do for others. They do not like to invest knowing they will not be invested into.
This native loves others loudly, care for others loudly, wear their emotions on their sleeves even. Because what is the point of showing love and care if you can't be transparent about it? This love feels very pure in the sense all is fair in love and war.
Loss can really be a blow to the ego and keep them down if their ego isn't as healthy as it should. It could be hard to let go of loss (as fixed signs do have a harder time letting things go). This native should realize that loss doesn’t represent a loss to their worth, but a change. To have a healthy ego is to understand that loss will come and that is okay. Even the sun takes a backseat during winter, but be right back in the spring.
Their love for serving their community will turn them into a leader in their community. This native's passion and confidence is off the charts! To be loved and cared for by this native is a blessing.
This native teaches others to be generous, pure, and passionate when it comes to loving and caring for others, but do not ever let someone think that love can be abused just because the love this love is pure and unrestrained. They teach others that they are the leader of their own life and should be confident in the fact they can love so freely. You shouldn't be scared to love. People should be scared to take advantage of the people who love them. A Leo Ceres' love and care will not be abused or taken for granted. Period.
This native likes to have a routine that is fun and makes them feel alive. This native likes to have a routine in which the native pours into themselves and the people they love the most. They love making the most out of the mundane.
This native may like fancy food? Or rather the presentation of the food is important to them.
This is the kind of parent that will encourage their children to express themselves to the highest degree.
Virgo:
Love and nurturance is in the form of detail & making sure you're on the right side of the tracks. This native may be seen as critical at times, but then again it's not coming from a place of malice. They want to make sure their loved ones are diligently taken care of & they teach their loved ones to take care of themselves as well. This is a disciplined love. (Similar to Ceres in Capricorn).
This native is conscientious of their diet and the food they eat. They could do this with their loved ones as well.
It made be hard to deal with loss because this native may be quickly thinking about how to "fix" this situation. But just breathe Virgo Ceres, you'll figure out how to get through this, but give your mind time to figure it out. Because in life you lose, you gain, and repeat. Also give yourself time to process the emotional effects of loss. Don't be so top heavy about it.
This native nurtures themselves by keeping busy and keeping things organized and in line. It gives their mind ease. May like to clean their house alot.
This native loves to serve their community. I think they wouldn't go out their way to give their opinions and critiques if they didn't want to see the people around them succeed. Yet, make sure your advice isn't unsolicited. I do think that Virgos sometimes can insert their advice at the wrong place and at the wrong time, so make sure to be aware of that.
This native loves having an organized routine and even writes down their goals of the day. There is a system to how their day goes.
This parent may be strict and critical to their children, but give your child space to figure out who they want to be, not what you think they should be.
This native likes to be nurtured by being included, involved, and being recognized for their opinions. To know their opinions matter and their advice is used is a great source of comfort for this native.
Abundance is in the form of knowledge and solutions. The more you know & the more you plan, the better abundance you can achieve.
Thank you for reading! See you later for part 2.
-Claude
#ceres#ceres asteriod#ceres in aries#ceres in taurus#ceres in gemini#ceres in cancer#ceres in leo#ceres in virgo#spirituality#astrology#astrology mention#astrology notes#astrology observations#astrology blog#learning astrology#astrology basics#astro notes#spiritual blog#asteroids#asteroids in astrology#astrology and greek mythology#tarotladytalks#black woman astrology#black woman tarot readers#oceanbaby888
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A few days late, but it's here! Just a tiny little list of stories that made me feel thing this month. I wish you all a wonderful December 💙
To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much!
To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It’s the least we can do to show our gratitude.
Also, please, mind the writers’ warnings!
🌉JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERESIN🌉
there's a honey by @bussyslayer333
↳ one shot, penny's niece!reader, first fic i read this month and what a wonderful start it was!
love that's a real long shot by @callsignvalley
↳ one shot, 18+, pilot!reader, fwb, angst, top tier story 🙌
birthday blues by @dilfsouls
↳ one shot, jake forgets her birthday, she tortures him but she's obssesed with him at the same time (which is very relatable)
first impressions by @imjess-themess
↳ one shot, 18+, mitchell!reader, there is a special place in my heart for all the "4 times... and one time..." fics
less misery, more company by @seresinhangmanjake
↳ one shot, “everyone loves when a hot guy suffers" - yes, yes we do 😊
forever winter by @hufflepuffprincesse
↳ one shot, beautiful piece of work 💙
birds away by @wombtotombx
↳ series, pilot!reader. best friends to lovers, high quality content 👏
🌉BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW🌉
red flags, green flags by @roosterforme
↳ one shot, this was so fun and so so good!!
🌉ROBERT 'BOB' FLOYD🌉
he didn't have to be by @imjess-themess
↳ one shot, single mom!reader, this is so sweet i love it so much 🥺
return to me by @lt-bradshawaw
↳ one shot, wife!reader, wonderful fic!!
all i want for christmas (is you) by @bussyslayer333
↳ one shot, 18+, all i want for christmas is one robery floyd
bobby burns by @sebsxphia
↳ one shot, i just want bob to take me home to his ma and make me a part of their family, is it too much too ask???
🌉MICKEY 'FANBOY' GARCIA🌉
don't drop my baby by @callsign-squints
↳ one shot, the squad meeting baby garicia and i'm hjfkdhgjfhdkgd
as blue as your taste (i taste the same) by @rea-gar-targaryen
↳ one shot, 18+, if the summary doesn't make you want to drop everything you're doing and go read it asap, then i don't know what is wrong with you
🌉STEVE HARRINGTON🌉
bruised and bloody by @stvharrngton
↳ one shot, friends to lovers, pining idiots that make me go AHHHHHH
wine night by @pouringmyheartouttoastranger
↳ one shot, 18+, the final line of this fic is 'comfy, and happy, and in love' and that's exaclty how i feel after reading it
hot for teacher by @handful0fteeth
↳ one shot, 18+, this is some good shit™ right there 🥵
this fic by @sunshinehollandd
↳ one shot, dad!steve, can you hear my scream??? 😭 this is the most adorable thing ever
tell me again by @appocalipse
↳ one shot, friends to lovers but make it angst, we love to see them suffer 🤗
somewhere only we know by @stevebabey
↳ one shot, this was wonderful and made my heart grow 10 times bigger
this fic by @luveline
↳ one shot, oh to have steve harrington carry your photo around in his wallet :')
you and i by @chervbs
↳ one shot, look! it's friends to lovers again! and they're still idiots :)
keep my hand in yours by @harringtown
↳ one shot, i want to get a voucher for playing with steve's hair for christmas this year, please and thank you
i will always be right there by @familyvideostevie
↳ one shot, if someone told me 'you will always be my first choice', i'd be literally dead at the spot
heat of the moment by @appocalipse
↳ one shot, old friends to lovers, steve saying “you can move all the way to another planet and I still wouldn’t be able to forget how I feel about you.” leaves 4 dead, 21 injured
the upside of love by @osterfield-holland-andcompany
↳ one shot, 18+, this is a want but also a need
cute aggression by @retrobutterflies
↳ one shot, cute things ahead!
this fic by @forever-rogue
↳ one shot, SO CUTE I CAN'T
🌉EDDIE MUNSON🌉
the rest of the story by @jobean12-blog
↳ one shot, friends to lovers written by the wonderful Jo, of course it's amazing!
necking by @roanniom
↳ one shot, 18+, i think about his neck and jaw and suddenly i can't breath
baby, slow it down and baby, kiss me quick by @upsidedownwithsteve
↳ two shot, 18+, fwb, pure gold, each paragraph is better than the last
an attempt at a one night stand by @whoahoney
↳ series, 18+, single mom!reader, oh wow 🥵 that's my review
i want your video by @thefreak-thebanished
↳ one shot, 18+, modern!au, delicious 🤤🤤
🌉BUCKY BARNES🌉
what i wouldn't do and the lenghts i'd go to by @real-jane
↳ two shot, 18+, detective!bucky who is an idiot in love with his partner and i am an idiot in love with Kate's work <3
poet laureate by @real-jane
↳ series, professor!bucky, we don't deserve all this greatness that Kate's graces us with 🙌
the bet by @wkemeup
↳ one shot, the words can't describe how much i loved this
🌉SAM WILSON🌉
on a leash by @rassvetsky
↳ one shot, friends to lovers, SHSHHSHSHSH I LOVE THIS
🌉PETER PARKER🌉
eyes on me: dressed up by @thegirlintheswivelchair
↳ one shot, that man, i love him so much!!
🌉RHETT ABBOTT🌉
whiskey sour by @h0neyfire
↳ one shot, 18+, i have zero (0) thoughts in my mind right now, my brain is not working 🥴
white picket gences & embroidery by @sebsxphia
↳ one shot, the domestic fluff in this one just makes me want to scream, cry and throw up but like in a good way
#anna's fic recs#fic recs#november 2022 fic recs#top gun fic recs#jake seresin x reader#hangman x reader#bob floyd x reader#steve harrington x reader#eddie munson x reader#stranger things fic recs
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Gardening in Raised Beds On Pavement
Growing in raised beds on top of pavement is an excellent strategy if you have limited growing space. Let's learn how to make the most of that concrete or asphalt!
Build Tall Beds
Crops need room to send roots down into the soil. Providing plenty of room to grow means your crops have a strong foundation, hold moisture longer, and can access more nutrients in the soil through deeper roots. Raised beds on pavement should be a minimum of 24 inches tall and ideally 32 inches tall! Taller is always better, especially if you live somewhere with hot and/or dry summers.
Filling Your Raised Beds
When you build raised beds on the ground, your crops have access to the soil underneath for draining excess water from above and wicking water up from below. Building on pavement takes this away, so how we fill the beds really matters!
Bottom Layer: Gravel
Fill the bottom of your raised beds with about 6 inches of gravel. This helps fight erosion, helps with drainage, and keeps your crop's roots from coming into contact with the pavement.
Middle Layer: Decomposing Wood
I highly recommend the hugelkultur method. A hugelkultur, or "mound culture" in German, is a raised bed with a base of decomposing wood. Rotting wood encourages fungal networks, holds moisture, and fills the space pretty cheaply. Get some logs, sticks, and other dead wood pieces and make a layer on top of your gravel.
Top Layers: Loose, Rich Growing Medium
There's lots of options for filling this space, but the goal is high-quality organic matter. Avoid bags of potting soil, as these aren't living soil. Living soil self-renews and keeps providing a nutrient rich environment. Potting soil will eventually dry out and lose nutrients. Instead gather things like:
Compost (homemade or purchased)
Coffee grounds (many coffee shops are happy to give out used grounds for free)
Living soil (from your yard or garden, even just a few shovels full will likely contain fungal networks and earthworms)
Grass clippings (not sprayed with anything!!)
Kitchen scraps (egg shells, fruits, veggies)
Leaf mold (leaves that have aged for two years)
Livestock manure
Shredded office paper
Worm casings
Alternate layers of whichever of these materials you're able to get and make a big raised bed lasagna. Save your compost for the top lasagna layer. Then top the whole bed off with mulch! Mulch helps hold water and keeps weeds at bay.
The Best time to Build Raised Beds is in the Fall
You can build beds any time, but building in the fall gives your bed contents time to settle and break down over the winter. Your lasagna layers need time to break down into finished soil, which crops generally prefer. Then just add some more organic matter on top in the spring before planting.
What To Plant
Here's some crop suggestions to go easy on your garden in the first year. After the first year though the sky is the limit!
Beets
Herbs
Leafy greens
Legumes
Onions
Maintaining Raised Beds on Pavement
Irrigate: Even with your fabulous organic material lasagna, your raised bed on pavement will still dry out. Prepare to water regularly, especially in the seed and seedling phase. After your crops get established a deep weekly watering should be enough unless it's extremely hot/dry.
Fertilize: During the summer, add some liquid fertilizer every couple of weeks (during your watering sesh) to push nutrients down into the soil. Some great liquid fertilizer options are comfrey tea, fish fertilizer, and worm tea.
Soil Renewal: Every fall top your beds off with some new organic matter. Over time your raised beds will decompose and sink, so fill those babies back up so they're ready for next spring! And don't forget to mulch!
Aerate: As your layers decompose you'll want to do some gentle aerating with a digging fork to keep the soil loose and crumbly.
Use Cover Crops: Cover crops help enrich the soil and keep it from drying out.
Summer cover crops: Buckwheat, cow peas, millet
Winter cover crops: Daikon radish, oats, winter rye
Happy growing!!
Source
#gardening#urban gardening#small space gardening#raised beds#hugelkultur#suburban gardening#urban farming
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POMOLOGY (NSFW)
GN!MC! x Diavolo
Written for the @property-of-diavolo collab, also known as Diamonth2022! If you wanna know more about it, check out their blog!
This story has a SFW version and a NSFW version. It is denoted after the title which version it is.
And now, as always:
Adult content, read at your own risk. Not beta read.
It all started as a ruse. The butler knew of your growing feelings for the Prince. He offhandly mentioned how making apple pie with human realm apples was something he wished to show Luke, but with the day as it was, he would miss his window to teach the young angel how to, as he had no time to obtain the apples.
The promise of warm apple pie made by the angel and Barbatos had been enough to spur Diavolo to text you and ask you apple picking. After all, what better way to obtain the human fruit and be sure of it's quality than to take the human with!
It wasn't until he ushered you and the Prince out of the castle gates did he smile. Fate had accepted your feeling and made it possible, but it would need to be you who drew the young master in. Once he placed a kiss to your lips on this day, it would bind you both to the timeline he had foreseen. It wasn't often he was so meddlesome, but you had grown on him. You made the young master a better man and seemed to be smitten yourself... what was life as a demon if one did not bend the rules and indulge once in a while?
----
"I am not looking forward to winter in the slightest." The Prince sighed. Even wrapped in a winter coat, he could not shake the chill that came with the season.
The fall morning wind brushed over your cheeks. The sun hidden behind the clouds of the grey sky wouldn't help warm the air until almost noon, but then the forecast called for rain shortly after. It left only the morning to go apple picking and find enough apples for Barbatos and Luke.
"I appreciate you coming, Mc."
"I'm glad you invited me. I've never been apple picking." You admitted as you put your hands in your pockets. Your gloves had gotten off to somewhere, like usual, leaving your fingers bare to the breeze. "Though I'm not sure I'll be much help compared to a demon whose over six feet tall." You laughed.
"I suppose my height is an advantage in this endeavor." He smiled as you approached a low hanging branch. Even jumping, your fingers only brushed the apple, making it bounce. Diavolo walked up behind you and picked the apple with ease. "Perhaps we find shorter trees." His deep chuckle made your skin flush.
"You don't want the short trees. The best apples always come from the older trees." You gave a small pout before taking a running start and jumping for another apple. Again, your fingers brushed it leaving you empty handed. Your embarrassment grew as you stared up to the fruit so close, but just out of reach.
Diavolo's dark hand made easy work of the fruit. Plucking it quickly as he slowly held it out for you to take. "I could lift you up into the boughs of the tree."
You held the apple tightly to your chest. "If I have to call Barbatos and inform him I had to call an ambulance, I'll never hear the end of it, especially from Lucifer." You glanced to the bottom of the tree.
"Why would I need an ambulance? Oh, are those the vehicles humans call the the 'wee-woo wagon'?" The Prince watched as your smile grew. "I think it would be a thrilling experience to watch human medicine at work."
"Till they figure out you aren't human and they all have a heart attack. Lucifer would be sure I swung from a very high chandelier..." you cringed.
"I would not let you be strung up by him. Besides, in this senerio, I've gone to the hospital, why?" He inspected an apple carefully, and after seeing a small hole in it, he dropped it to the ground.
"If you throw your back out lifting me up it's either take you to a hospital or call Solomon."
"While I appreciate your devotion to not calling Solomon, you've naught to worry. You are much lighter than you think. I may even have to agree with Beelzelbub that you gaining a few pounds would not be bad." He admitted, making sure not to look too hard at you, least you see his face flush.
A laugh left you quickly as you made sure not to lose your grip on the apples. "Diavolo, your fit as a fiddle for being tens of thousands years old, but don't pu-!" A scream left you as the apples fell from your grasp. Your feet almost four foot off the ground as the Prince had swept you up quickly and caught you off guard.
"There will be no need for wee-woo wagons, Mc. We've many left to obtain and I see this as the easiest way." The smile never left his lips as your hands held a tight grip on the shoulders of his coat while he held the bottom of your legs tightly to his chest. Your knees rested on his collar bones as his other hand rested gently on your hip. "Plus, I seem to be correct when I told you I agree with Beelzelbub."
You turned your face away as the Prince looked up to you. It would be a memory he would always hold fondly. Your cheeks flush, shy look overtaking your features as the apple trees gently sway in the fall breeze with a slight hint of sweetness sweeping around the both of you.
It was moments like this he hated who he was.
A Demon. A Prince. Life so different in not only one, but two important aspects. It seemed so insurmountable most of the time, but every now and then, when he would look at you caught in small moments such as this, he allowed himself happiness in the thoughts of 'what if?'. Mind momentarily filling with thoughts of how he could make it work.
It always crumbles. He is to be King, to lead a realm. It leaves little time for love. You don't care that he is demon through and through. You'd been privy to some of his more...demonic moments, yet saddling you with that seems a punishment. You deserve more than he can afford you. It's not fair to push his feelings onto you when all it will ever give you is misery. Your love was worth more than that.
"Dia..." Your eyes are focused solely on him and it feels as if you can see every part of him. He slowly releases his grip and you slide down his body slowly, illiciting thoughts he can't seem to push away.
Perhaps fate is kinder than he gives her credit. It brought him you. Maybe she would be kind and grant him this, even this small moment, even if it only existed here and went no further.
He stops you gently, hands holding your hips and your legs have already wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck. He's lost already, and if he passes this moment up he will never forgive himself. Even if it breaks his heart in the end, he needs this more than he can stand.
As he leans forward, your eyes close softly. Your lips are sweeter than anything he's ever had the pleasure to experience.
Perhaps fate only allowed him this moment, but he was thankful all the same. To taste your lips and watch your eyes flutter open, a heat on your cheeks as your pull back slowly, panting. The way you whine his name, needy for more of his touch, his lips on your skin... who is he to deny you? He'd make you his lover in an instant. Consequences be damned, he'd do whatever it took to keep you like this.
"Mc..." His own voice is labored, holding himself back as he scans your cute little face. You'd look absolutely divine underneath him in his chambers, wearing his colors and begging under his touches. A small wave of guilt crashes down onto him. Icy and clinging to him from the inside out. "Would you want more, from me?"
Watching you shyly nod, it takes all he can to hold himself together. "A life with me. Living in the palace walls. Being subjected to what I really am?" Looking down to you, he knows how this all ends. Misery. Being alone yet again. You are so pure, bright in his kingdom. Such things either shatter or flee. Yet the need to keep you in his arms, to hear the sounds he can drag from you is more than he can stand. He is patient, collected. A Prince of a realm with more practiced diplomacy than any one individual need have, but not trying, taking the chance... he can't stop himself. Fate has allowed this moment, it may allow for more and if he is a coward, he'll never know. "Can you still love me through all of it?"
Looking to Diavolo's eyes, you can see it. The same worry, the same uncertainty that you feel sweeping through your chest. To be lead astray into the heart of the Devildom and set yourself next to the demon Prince... It risks your soul, your own humanity. You aren't a fool. You know how the realm runs, you've seen enough behind the curtain. It's blood and torture, falling to temptation and ruling a kingdom with everything he has, clawing desperately to achieve his goals. There is no guarantee you won't be collateral damage or even that you'll be safe. Standing next to Diavolo means risking your life and every fiber of what you stand for.
Placing a hand on the side of his face, you rest your own head on his shoulder, looking to his neck and watching his pulse point hammer wildly. You're just a human. Weak. Fragile. Standing next to him for the rest of your life will be more than you could ever imagine, just in the duties you'd have to the realm with him as your lover... Not only that, but what you'll have to subject yourself too. Being human, having a different set of morals. Being with him will inevitably pull you apart at the seams. Leave you questioning yourself and all that you are.
Your tounge darts out and kitten licks his pulse point. The hiss he releases and his grip tightening on your hip remind you of where you are. In the arms of a demon who could crush you in a moment if he willed it.
Yet looking up at Diavolo now, you don't feel fear. The Demon holding you...you know what he's risking by even giving you the chance to answer. He's maimed and tortured people in your name before. Making them cry and bleed until he hears what he's needed.
He'd do worse for you. You know it.
And maybe it's sick. Maybe you've already lost more of your humanity than you can gage, but the simple fact he'd blaze through his kingdom and destroy any threat to you...it's flattering. It makes your own heart beat wildly in your chest and your own desires rage inside of you. This man - Demon- would do unspeakable things just to keep you safe in his arms and by his side if you say yes. The very knowledge sets your core alight, thoughts tainted by how delicate and perfect he looks with blood on his hands...
"Yes." It's a whisper, but you know Diavolo heard it over the autumn winds. His grip tightens again as a growl leaves him. You can feel it, his body changing, coat no longer in your way, just his smooth skin and raised markings. Covered in Gold and absolutely regal.
Your back hits something solid as the Prince directs your gaze up to him. "Are you absolutely sure?"
You can see it in his eyes. Begging, silently pleading to hear you say it again. If you don't, you know he would release you. Still love you in his forced solitude as a royal. You can't let him be alone anymore. Even if it cost you your soul and everything you are, getting swallowed up in the flames of him seems like a fitting end. "Yes." You nodded slowly.
You know there will be time for soft and slow later. To truly show your love and devotion to each other. It still doesn't help you catch your breath as Diavolos fangs rake gently over your neck in a needy fashion as his claws slowly cut away your pants, careful of your skin underneath.
"You'll never know another like this. I'll kill them and make you watch as I pull their skin from them. Make you listen to every scream and cry." Lowering you down a few inches, you can feel his cock against your underwear as he ruts into you. His hand softly cupping your face as he draws you into a kiss.
"Never anyone else." Your voice doesn't even sound like your own, whimpers of a promise to him as his fingers find your waist band of your underwear, and the sound of them tearing away should leave you absolutely chilled from the winds, yet all you can feel is him. The heat radiating from his skin, perhaps a silent spell he's casted, you aren't sure and it doesn't matter. "Only you. Forever." You whine as his cock rubs against your entrance.
"I've dreamed of this. Defilement, tainting you with my seed." He grunts as his finger traces your hole, "You'll be marked for me, for all of eternity."
You shudder against him and his touches, catching his lips in a desperate kiss as you wiggle against his probing finger, needy for him to fill you.
His finger slides slowly, carefully, into you and the moan that leaves you makes his heavy cock twitch. You sound better than he's ever imagined. "I'm terrible." He murmurs against your neck as he begins to pump his finger in and out of you. "Truly a monster, Mc. I wish for nothing more than to adorn you with your own set of horns. Watch how a crown bounces on your head while I fill you to the brim on my throne." The growl that leaves him as he speeds his finger up is sure to rumble your chest, yet he can't help himself. He's a demon whose been denied for years and his needs and wants can finally be realized.
"Y-you'd change me?" The whine leaving your lips as his fingers explore you is almost more than he can take, but he knows he needs to stretch you. He's bigger than any human cock you've had in your lifetime and the very thought makes him smirk above you.
"Only if you asked it of me. Though I don't know how long I can be unselfish. To keep you by my side for eternity..." He let's out a groan as his cock rubs against your thigh, smearing your innocent body with his precum, "It's very tempting, and demons have never done well with such a thing." He adds another finger, moving them as gently as his can inside of you. If he hurts you now he'll have to stop, and he can't. He needs you, to hear you cry out his name and come undone as he fucks you. "You already look so beautiful. Panting and needy...I can't help but wonder if you'd choose a tail or wings. I can give you anything you desire if you'd give me the chance." He grits his teeth as he moves his fingers faster. A need to see you release on his fingers is taking him over as he finds that spot inside of you and rubs it's harshly, careful of his nails as you begin to shake in his grasp.
He feels you tighten, the pulse of your hole squeezing his fingers makes him growl once more as he slips them from you. He needs to taste you. Know you as no one else can.
Watching Diavolo lick his fingers makes you turn away, embarrassment taking hold but his hum of satisfaction makes you glance towards him. His eyes are on you and you can't escape the hungry look in his eyes as he slowly lowers his hand back down, fingers entering you again and stretching you to your limit.
His lips are supple, hot as he uses his tounge to explore your mouth. Being so full of Diavolo has your head spinning, yet you can't stop from trying to move on his fingers as you whine into his mouth. You can feel it, your climax approaching and your so drunk on his affections that it hits you full force before you can even ready yourself.
Diavolo keeps his fingers flush with the spot that's unraveled you on his fingers. Messaging roughly only for you to shake harder against him and he can no longer wait. Slipping his fingers from you, he lines his cock up and slowly presses into you. It's absolute sin, the noises your making as he slowly slides his cock into you inch by inch. Your still riding the waves of pleasure he's given you and your hole is needy to be filled again. Your walls pulsating around his cock, milking him and desperately attempting to take him farther inside of you.
His hips start to move, and he places a hand behind your tailbone, the last thing he needs to do is break you. He has you now and your the most precious thing in all of the realms to him.
"Wings." You gasp as your hands travel Diavolos body, pinching his nipples and rubbing gently at them. "I want wings."
He can't stop his hips from moving faster, your nails trailing his back and begging for him to give you wings. It's commitment for eternity your begging for, and he'll give you everything he can.
Feeling his cock so deep inside of your walls, stretching you and using you, you have enough mental capacity to know what you said. The fact it spurs Diavolo to fuck you harder and faster strokes a feeling inside of your chest and for a moment the world stands still. It's just you and Diavolo, connected so intimately in the orchard with plans, promises of a future past just this moment. You press a kiss to his cheek, pulling on his horns to raise yourself up. "I love you." The words are out now. They can't ever been taken back.
His grip on your hips pull you back down onto him, his cock fully seated inside of you as he growls, cock dragging in and out of your hole at such a wonderful pace. You can't help but scream his name out onto the winds as you milk his cock for every drop. The warmth of his seed filling you as his hips stutter, his hand finding your face again to look him in the eyes as he pants, shaking himself from filling you. "I'll love you for eternity, my darling."
You slump against his chest, listening to his heart beat wildly in his chest as you both catch your breath.
"Did you mean it?" Diavolo shifts you in his arms, away from the tree and you can still feel his cock inside of you, plugging your hole and holding his seed inside of you.
All you can do is nod. You can't find your words as you smile up to him, using his horns once again to pull yourself up and kiss him. A soft, swift kiss to his nose as his cock finally pulls from your walls, his cum slowly oozing out from you makes you shiver.
You aren't sure how long you stay in his arms, clinging to him like he's the only thing in the world. It's only when he finally releases you and places your feet back to the ground does the world seem to spin again. Your clothes are back, prim, proper and perfect and he's transformed back as well. "As much as I would love to parade your tight hole for everyone to see my seed fall from you, I'm much to jealous for that." He gives boyish grin as he cups your face to look up at him. "I truly do love you. I will give you every moment I can spare and even when I can not be with you, I will do whatever it takes to make you know how deeply I love you."
You can't help but smile, your cheeks heating as you give him a hug. "I think it might be you who gets strung up once Barbatos finds out."
"It will be well worth it my dear." He makes a quick motion, and apples start rolling and gently floating into the bag you brought with you. "We'd best get back. Barbatos has a schedule that is very tight today, and I've need to ready a few things for later tonight." You laugh as he winks, picking up the bag with one hand and holding his other out for you to take.
Taking his hand, you move to hold his arm as he opens a portal and you both step through.
You aren't sure what your future holds for certain, but you do know that every moment spent with the demon beside you will be ones you'll never forget.
--
Have a happy DIAmonth2022 y'all! ❤
@grayce-after-hours here is the smut bby! XD
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From bush to mug: What do you know about tea? How the most popular drink in the world is created
Tea is drunk always and everywhere: at breakfast and before bed, in summer and winter, with sugar and lemon. But how much do we know about him? Why is black tea not black at all in a mug, but green tea has different shades from amber to gold? How is it grown and when is it harvested? And most importantly, how to drink and brew tea correctly? Together with Time Tea, we have compiled a tea guide and answered the main questions about the most popular drink in the world.
1. How tea is grown and harvested
White, green, black, oolong – despite the fact that there are many different teas in the world, they are all made from the same plant. It is called Camellia sinensis, or Chinese camellia. This is a small bush about a meter high, although closer to the south the plant becomes taller, stronger, branchier and more reminiscent of a tree. The first harvest is harvested five years after planting, but it is believed that the leaves gain maximum weight by the age of 50 (for this, the crop must be harvested regularly). Every year the bushes are pruned, and only the youngest, softest and juiciest leaves are selected for tea.
2. Where are tea leaves collected?
Tea grows in more than 30 countries. Although it was originally cultivated in China, the country still ranks first in terms of yield. It is followed by India and Sri Lanka – the British brought tea there in the 19th century, so these places are famous for their black varieties. Depending on where it is grown, the leaves differ in taste and color. Thus, African varieties have a reddish tint – all due to the fact that there is a lot of copper in the soil. Thanks to the ideal climate, the best varieties of tea grow in China, India, Sri Lanka and Kenya – they are used in TimeTea
3.What kind of tea is there?
In addition to the regions of growth, tea is divided according to the method of processing. There are six types in total – white, green, yellow, oolong, black and pu-erh. They differ mainly in the degree of fermentation. White is almost never fermented – the young buds just wither in the sun. Green is steamed, dried or fried. Black tea has the longest chain: dried leaves are rolled into plates, from which the juice is released. They are laid out on special trays, where the processes of oxidation, fermentation and fermentation take place – almost like wine production. It is at this point that the tea leaves turn dark in color.
4. How to tell if the tea is of high quality
The criteria differ depending on the variety, but there are several general principles. Examine the leaves – they should be approximately the same color and size. Make sure there are no twigs or dust in the package, and no foreign odors. When you have brewed the tea leaves, look at the water – it should be clear, even if it is strong pu-erh. The aroma of the drink should be light and the taste rich. If your green tea turns out bitter, it may be not only the poor quality of the leaves, but also the wrong water temperature or the wrong number of leaves.
5. How to brew the perfect cup of tea
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TIMING: Early March
LOCATION: Winter's House
PARTIES: @longislandcharm and @animotoph0bia
SUMMARY: Finn wakes up at Winter's house after another long night and Winter decides its time to have a talk.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Alcoholism tw, Unsanitary tw (light mentions)
She was starting to feel like a babysitter for this guy and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Last time she met Finn out and he was shitfaced, Winter had put him in an Uber and called it a night but this time she couldn’t in good conscience do that. There was no telling what kind of driver he might get, not to mention she truly did want to ask the man some questions about the crap he kept saying when intoxicated. Something about feeling other people’s emotions and calling out others for said emotions. He was a total mess but her curiosity had definitely peaked.
Now he was fast asleep in the guest room that she was still trying to unpack from her recent move, the medium trying to shake him awake with the promise of aspirin and electrolyte infused water. “Come on shit head, wakey wakey. We need to talk.” She placed her offerings on the bedside table before moving to the window to open the curtains. Despite the snow all over the ground it was a bright sunny day. She hoped that with the light filtering in it would wake him up faster.
“You were a real peach again last night. This time I let them hit you.” And Winter didn’t feel one ounce of guilt about that. If he wanted to act like a disaster then he deserved the pain the next day. She even considered taking the aspirin away. “You really are determined to piss off this whole town, aren’t you?”
Finn was well aware that alcohol was a shit way to get some sleep - something about sleep quality and whatnot, plus the mornings that followed tended to be rough. What was good about it was the lack of dreams. As well as the meds usually worked to knock him out, they loved to throw some nightmares into the mix for the fuck of it, and where was the sleep quality in that? At least when he was passed the fuck out, there was the benefit of simply not existing for a moment - until existence inevitably turned around and whacked him in the head.
Like, literally. He was no stranger to hangover headaches but ouch.
“Shut the fuck up, Ellie,” Finn groaned, becoming more aware of his surroundings and the suffering with every passing moment. And eventually the fact that this wasn’t his sister’s voice, nor was it a room he was familiar with. Hands scrambled for bed sheets as he moved to sit up, way too fast which was a horrible idea, everything spinning and the pain in his head going blinding for a second. The light streaming into the room didn’t help, vision blurry as he blinked at the owner of the voice and the unfiltered annoyance. “Winter?” he finally croaked out, hand reaching out on instinct and actually managing to find his glasses. “What the fuck…”
They hadn’t… no. No way, he would have remembered that… right? Also, she was way too pissed off for that to be… well, actually… Wait, pants. He was still wearing pants which was a good sign, even as he still clutched the sheets to his bare chest like a lady in a film from the 60s. “Wait, who hit me?” Finn eventually said, now able to distinguish the pain of the headache from what was definitely a bruise forming on the side of his face.
“Yes, Winter, the one who keeps witnessing your very quick descent into infamy. I don’t know an Ellie.” She turned, hands on her hips, to find the man clutching the fabric of the sheets to himself as if she were trying to get a peek at him. For a brief moment she wondered if he still had his pants on for him to act like that but then a realization came to her. She was almost offended by how terrifying sleeping with her seemed to be. “Oh, you wish.” Rolling her eyes, she grabbed his shirt from an armchair next to the bed and tossed it at him. “I won’t look, princess. I didn’t even see you last night, I just threw you in here and said good luck.” For good measure she turned back towards the window so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Even with the biting words, she didn’t want him feeling like that.
“I don’t know. It wasn’t the big guy from last time but this one was pretty big. Muscley, someone I would have actually taken home if you weren’t almost out cold on the ground.” No she wouldn’t have. She would have never touched that guy but she felt like rubbing it in just because it seemed so ludicrous to him that they could have. Winter was petty, there was no denying it.
“There’s water and aspirin on the bedside table. Take it. You’re going to need it because I want to talk to you about something.” Her arms were crossed but she brought one up to inspect her nails as she waited. She wasn’t sure how much time he needed since Winter was sure he was moving slowly. The man was a wreck. “Something about feeling emotions and all. You brought it up again last night and I’m finally curious enough to ask what you mean.”
Everything was still so fuzzy, the process of waking up someplace he had no recollection of arriving at making everything more confusing. And even though he was barely awake enough to say more than a few words, Finn was somehow still managing to piss Winter off further. “We both know you’re way out of my league, hence the confusion,” he did manage to fumble out, hoping it would at least slightly rectify the situation. Whatever the situation was.
Even though it made the room spin, Finn used the provided opportunity to scramble from the bed, grabbing his discarded sweater from the floor and pulling it on. It smelled how he felt which was in no way helpful. “You really shouldn’t perpetuate the myth that girls only sleep with assholes,” he shot back because everything hurt and Winter’s bad mood was easily rubbing off on him. A ‘thank you’ was definitely due but she was pissy which meant so was he. Although the aspirin did seem like a peace offering, no matter how ominous that ‘something’ sounded.
Finn didn’t have to wait long for Winter to elaborate and of course this discussion was about some shit his big, dumb mouth had been blurting out. Gulping down the water like a man shipwrecked for weeks, Finn made an attempt to stand before deciding against it. “Right. That. Don’t know what there is to discuss, sounds pretty self-explanatory,” he said dryly, tentatively touching his aching jaw and wincing. Must have been a pretty decent punch.
Way out of his league? Well, that was enough to simmer her anger down a bit, Winter sighing softly. The people in this town needed to get more self esteem even if Finn was correct. She was out of his league. “You’re not the worst choice of partner out there, have a little more faith in yourself. It might help others like you if you actually liked you.” She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him, still annoyed but clearly losing her edge little by little. For some reason she held a soft spot for the self deprecating people of this world. She didn’t show it in the best way, no, but she only wanted them all to realize the good things about themselves so they could appreciate them all, no matter how little those were in quantity. She wanted the same for him.
Until his next statement, anyway. “I didn’t sleep with you, now did I?” Her arms crossed over her chest, annoyed with him once more for accusing her of perpetuating such a stereotype. It wasn’t even true. After hearing his rustling around in the room, she figured it was safe to turn her head and see if he was dressed now, and thankfully he was so she turned the rest of the way to face him. “So, not perpetuating anything.”
Her eyes narrowed in on him, not amused with his answer. Why was it so difficult to talk to people around here? “So you can feel the burning desire I have to punch you myself, right?” It was rhetorical, of course, as her curiosity for what he could do outweighed her need to go back and forth with him. Winter uncrossed her arms to take a seat on the opposite side of the bed from him as she continued. “But really…you just feel what everyone else feels? If you wanted to know what I was feeling towards you then you could dig around with your mind or? How does that work?”
It was almost a compliment, but genuine. Mission accomplished in not getting himself thrown out the window, then. A fair point, too - at least he wouldn’t try to eat someone on the first date. Chewed with his mouth closed as well. Probably put him well above a few of the picks in town. “Hey, I’m an oldest child with a dead dad, what do you want from me?” Finn shot back, hoping to discourage any further attempts at a lesson in self love. Which was easy seeing as he was running his mouth and Winter was already on edge.
“Fine, point Winter.” Finn scooted back on the bed, leaning against the wall with a quiet groan. Counting down the minutes until that aspirin kicked in. This had to be the worst possible moment to be having this conversation but it was either that or standing up so Finn rode the wave of Winter’s annoyance at his nonanswer. Raising an eyebrow, realizing that she actually didn’t crave violence too badly at this moment, he only replied with a slightly smug shrug.
The bed dipped under her weight and the curiosity grew. It really did seem like she believed him. Pushing back unruly hair, Finn sighed. “Yes and no. It’s not exactly an on or off thing, more like… smelling, I guess. Trust me, I would love to be able to only pry when I wanted to but no dice. It’s just… there. Constantly. Which is great because people totally have emotional regulation and it never gives me a mental breakdown.” Alright, oversharing a bit, back it up. “Aaaand I have no fucking clue how it works or why so there.”
That escalated quickly. Winter raised an eyebrow at him, surprised that he would say that so indelicately, but she couldn’t judge. She had no idea what it was like to lose a parent or how people coped. Still, she was pretty sure his dead dad wouldn’t want him to hate himself so much…right? That’s how parents were, or should be, really. “And I’m an only child with parents who apparently manipulated me my whole life. Doesn’t mean you should think so badly of yourself.” The words might have held the facade of being unsympathetic but her tone was softer this time, almost as if he didn’t annoy the shit out of her.
Satisfied, a smirk pulled at her lips, the girl taking that as a win. He could rub her the wrong way but at the end of the day she did like somebody who could be as snarky as she was, especially when they gave her credit for comebacks. It was enough to satiate her need to ‘one up’ as her mother had once called it.
Winter couldn’t imagine having to be in his shoes. The girl didn’t even like her own emotions, or admitting to having them anyway, and this man had to walk around and feel everyone else’s constantly? It was almost violating in a way, knowing that everything she tried to hide from others was readily available to him but at the same time he couldn’t help it, could he? She now understood why he was such a mess. On one hand, she hated this for him, but on the other she was wondering whether or not Finn could feel that sympathy she now held for him. “Wow…it must suck to be you.” It was all she could think to say, fully aware that she couldn’t handle what he had to go through every minute of every day. “No wonder you’re a dick.”
Aw, shit. Was there a way to go back to her being exasperated? Finn would much rather deal with that than the waves of pity currently worming their way into his brain. Probably his fault for prefacing all of this with a dead dad joke - fine, less of a joke, more of a snarky comment - but still. It was glaringly obvious, even with the tendrils of worry he now specifically recognized as people wanting to guard their emotions. It had been there with Milo but to be fair, he’d been high when the bomb had been dropped. If only he had some weed to offer Winter now.
A saving grace, she didn’t offer her condolences. Instead, she had Finn barking out a laugh that immediately made his head throb. “I know, right? I was actually tolerable right up until puberty. Which applies to a lot of guys but still.” He sighed, letting his head drop back against the wall. Trying for once to focus on the horror of his hangover instead of Winter’s process of working through what this meant, a small attempt at privacy. “It’s almost hilarious how quickly people believe me here,” he pondered out loud, gazing at the ceiling. “You have no idea how many psychiatrists back home have tried to shove me somewhere into the DSM five.”
With no warning except a groan of effort, Finn pulled himself up from the bed. “I need caffeine. And then maybe food, jury’s still out on that one.” Especially now that he was standing, even though his stomach felt extremely hollow. Fuck, had Winter watched him hurl again? The fact that he’d thought for even the briefest of moments that they’d slept together seemed even more ludicrous now.
She rolled her eyes, knowing damn well that anybody was insufferable after puberty hit. But she didn’t deem the comment worthy of correcting. Maybe his hit different. “Why? Is that when you started feeling everyone else’s moods?” It made sense, right? Puberty meant changing bodies so maybe his ability or whatever he wanted to call it manifested at that point. Winter almost thought that would have been worse though, suddenly having something that had never been there before and having to figure out how to navigate it? Yea, she knew how that felt and it wasn’t the easiest thing to go through. If that’s what he went through anyway…no need to form a kinship if that wasn’t the actual case.
A scoff filled the room, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked directly at the disheveled man currently inhabiting one of her guest rooms. Did he not know what went on around here? “I don’t think the DSM five has a place here. Let's just say, your little gift is the easiest thing I’ve had to believe in this town.” Just then, Henry walked through the closed door, the ghost looking between the two. ‘Am I interrupting something?’ She rolled her eyes again but Winter took the opportunity to explain what she meant. “For example, the shithead that just walked through the door. You know, the ghost you most likely can’t see? I see them everywhere.”
She watched him pull himself to his feet, unimpressed, but the fact that he had the nerve to ask for anything else after their morning was almost impressive. Winter would have respected it had she not been the one who had to comply with his requests. Now she was just annoyed. Again. “I can make coffee but you’re on your own with food. I don’t really keep much in the house, mostly because I would probably burn it down if I tried to touch the stove.”
“Yeah,” Finn groaned, rubbing at his temples in a pathetic attempt to soothe the headache. “Almost made the voice cracks tolerable. Just like ‘hey, here’s some hormones and also, you’re maybe going insane’.” Winter reminded him once again that the only reason people believed him was that this was a hellscape town and if he’d been in better shape, Finn would have loved a sharing session of what atrocities she had encountered so far. Seriously, a list of places and people to avoid sounded great. Instead, he was focused on caffeine and food, barely registering her statement as he worked on patting himself down in search for his phone, responding with a distracted ‘mm-hmm’ as the search moved to the bedsheets. Bingo.
“Wait, ghosts?” His brain finally caught up, sort of, and Finn quickly waved off the descriptions of her cooking skills. “Also, yes and thank you on the coffee even though I was totally planning on getting it somewhere else but since you offered- you can see ghosts?” Was Winter keeping up with him. Was he keeping up with himself. Clutching at his phone, Finn’s head swiveled to take in the room, as if he would suddenly see a person there that he’d just somehow missed before. “Where? Who? Are we talking like a Poltergeist deal or are they just… there?” Heaving in a deep breath because this was using up all the energy he really didn’t have, Finn resisted the urge to flop back down onto the bed.
“That sounds rough.” Her voice was flat though, no sympathy to be shared this time around. She’d already given him that and even if Winter thought feeling everyone’s emotions at once was a fate worse than most she wasn’t someone to feel sorry for one long, especially when that someone brought on a lot of what they got themselves. “I can understand not knowing what to do with it at a young age but have you ever tried to look deeper into it? There’s gotta be some information out there pertaining to your…condition. Maybe even a way to control it? Because you can’t keep getting drunk in bars and starting fights with random strangers or you’re going to end up dead.” And for some reason that wasn’t a fun thought. Sure, he wasn’t her favorite person but she didn’t hate him either. She wouldn’t have brought him to her house if she did.
Why? Well, that she didn’t quite know herself.
There it was. Amusement took over the annoyance when her words finally hit him. She heard Henry snort as Finn started to look around the room, Winter throwing her arms up with a shrug. Oh, she was going to have fun with this. “He’s right next to you. Not a poltergeist…” A shudder ran through her at the thought of her last run in with one of those but the uncomfortable feeling passed as Henry moved closer, waving a hand in front of Finn’s face. “Did you feel the temperature drop? Did it wake you up a little more?” Her smile turned into a smirk. “That’s Henry. He says hi and sorry for your unfortunate circumstances but at least you have both of your arms…unless he takes one from you.”
Now she was just being an ass but she hoped the entertainment she got would be worth it. Henry gave her a look and she shrugged at him to wave it off. “Alright, coffee it is. Henry will join us….well, he can’t drink it obviously but just a warning that he’ll be there in case you’re chilly.”
“Why do you think I’m here?” Finn admitted, just the tiniest bit annoyed that he was getting brutally called out on the self-destructive behavior. And argument that he never planned on starting a fight seemed fruitless at this point, so he added instead, “I sure as fuck didn’t move here for the affordable housing or career opportunities.”
For a moment, he wondered if she was just messing with him. Finn had been here long enough to not doubt that there were people that could see ghosts but whether Winter was one of them… she was definitely enjoying the look on his face enough for this to just be one, big joke. Wrapping his arms around himself as she looked at something unseen just beside him, Finn figured that if it was a lie, she was a convincing actress. “Hello… Henry.” Was it colder or just the power of suggestion? Shuffling uncertainly across the floor, very aware that he might walk through someone, Finn followed her out of the room.
“What’s he going to do with one of my arms?” he scoffed, even though the comment only prompted him to clutch both arms closer to his person. “So he just… follows you everywhere? What if you’re, like… y’know, with someone. Or showering?” Taking a seat in her kitchen, still glancing around as if that might suddenly provide him with the sixth sense (seventh?), Finn found that the Advil finally seemed to be doing its job.
“To start random bar fights and end up in a pretty girl’s house, of course.” She shrugged, as if that was the most obvious answer in the world and her dry humor wasn’t on full display. Winter moved towards the coffee maker, the one appliance in her kitchen that got used more than anything, and started to work on their pick me up that they desperately needed. “Do you want an espresso shot too? You might need one…” She trailed off before finishing her harsh thought of ‘to get out of my house’, not wanting to scare him away. Because as much as she wanted him out of her house there was also an opportunity here to do something that she loved to do; research. “How far have you gotten with your search? Have you discovered anything about it yet?”
The smirk pulled at her lips, deepening, but Finn couldn’t quite see it as her back was turned to him and she let a casual tone slip into her voice. “Oh, you know, ghosts always seem to want what they don’t have. He’s missing one of his. Even if he can’t exactly use your arm his jealousy might get to him so I’d hold on tight.” Henry snorted at that, his head shaking at her antics. “You should leave the poor boy alone.” She just glanced over, showing the ghost how much fun she was having with the look on her face as an answer.
His question was a fair one but it did give Winter pause. The showering thing happened every day obviously but the other part of his question couldn’t be answered. That would have to be figured out at a later time. She could feel her cheeks heating causing her to frown. It wasn’t the fact that he was asking about it but the realization that she hadn’t needed to figure that out with Henry yet that was embarrassing her. Had it been that long? “Not that it’s any of your business, but he can be about twenty feet away from me.” There was a sharpness in her voice that she hadn’t intended on mixing in but that’s what she did when she was embarrassed; she lashed out. The severity depended on how embarrassed she got. “In the house he’s been able to roam freely without being by my side constantly. He gets stronger the more time he’s around so I think that’s helping him be able to pull further away.”
“That too,” Finn agreed in the same, flat tone, a ghost of a smile on his face. Still just a bit too hungover to enjoy sarcasm at the moment. That coffee, though, that he would enjoy. He didn’t even bother to hide the excitement on his face as Winter went to work, agreeing enthusiastically with her offer for more coffee. Six espresso shots were probably closer to what he really needed but he was already a giant bother to Winter. “Not really. Just mostly been avoiding death and doing dumb shit since I got here. Feel like I’ve basically met and seen everything except something that might help me with this.” What a surprise that his plan of ‘go there and see what happens’ wasn’t working out perfectly.
If his brain hadn’t been filled with cotton at the moment, Finn probably would have caught on to the smirk in Winter’s voice. In this current scenario however, the fear that an invisible figure would suddenly decide to tear off his arm was very real. “Cool. Very cool,” he mumbled, following Winter’s gaze at nothing, and shivering once more. Fucking ghosts.
For the first time during their two rather unpleasant meetings, Finn felt his body grow warm with Winter’s embarrassment, followed by immediate guilt from himself. Oops. “Totally right, shutting up now.” She had answered his question though, satiating his curiosity on whether or not ghosts were just inherently pervy. Although the idea of an arm ripping ghost growing stronger wasn’t exactly putting the empath at ease. “Please don’t revoke my coffee privileges.”
The medium let silence linger for a moment, Finn’s question making her think about her dry spell more than she wanted to. Ultimately, she blamed the town. It was full of weirdos and murderers and who’d want to sleep with those, right? That’s what she kept telling herself because delusion was better than blaming herself and her shitty attitude. Then she wondered why it was so easy to slip into those thoughts without the other interjecting. Winter, surprised that Finn wasn’t pushing this further, looked over her shoulder at him to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep where he sat. It felt like the only reason he wouldn’t be teasing her but no, he was sitting there just pleading for his coffee.
And then she realized he’d probably felt how embarrassed she’d gotten and she bristled. That was going to take some getting used to.
She slid the coffee over the counter to him, deciding to give him a break on the ghost stuff since he was dropping the last topic as well. Instead, she would focus on his issue. “It’s called research, Finn. Reading, the internet, tracking down people who know about your abilities…it’s not that hard in Wicked’s Rest. I might know some people who can point us in the right direction.” Winter had used ‘us’ without even realizing it. Now she was curious too and whether she liked it or not she would be doing her own research. She might as well share her discoveries with him as she went. It was his problem after all.
Even though the totally out of line topic had been dropped, Winter was still pensive and definitely annoyed. Not at Finn so much, he was starting to get a decent feeling for the exact kind of annoyance his presence evoked in her - no, it was an annoyance that he oddly related to. More of an… impatient restlessness that… Oh. Maybe he was way off but the chances of Winter appreciating a line of questioning about how long it had been didn’t seem high, even if Finn was on the same boat. That would definitely get his coffee privileges revoked.
When Winter finally procured the cup of coffee, it inspired Finn’s first genuine smile this morning. Grabbing the cup did mean releasing the death grip he had across his torso but honestly, it probably wouldn’t even do much if Henry decided he was in the mood for chaos. And Finn really wanted that coffee. As he reveled in the sweet taste of caffeine, Winter started providing advice in a way that was a bit like scolding but beggars couldn’t really be choosers. “Oh, it’s called research, is it?” Didn’t mean he could shut down the hungover urge for sarcasm completely, though.
“But uh…” Finn took another sip of coffee before continuing, wanting to make sure that the next words weren’t accidentally laced with sarcasm as well. “I’d definitely… appreciate that. Maybe I’ll even try not to be wasted next time you see me, as a thank you.” He glanced over at her, feeling immensely grateful for a moment while also completely undeserving of Winter’s help. Stupid hangover making him extra mushy. “Sorry. For, y’know… me.”
Her smirk returned when she saw Finn’s death grip unravel in favor of the coffee cup, her eyes flicking to Henry who rolled his eyes goodnaturedly. He was enjoying this just as much as her but he didn’t want to show that. No, that would be giving Winter too much credit. This would be a fun gag to keep up for a while, hopefully Finn would still believe it once he was in a better headspace.
“Yea, asshole, research. Apparently, you don’t know the meaning.” Sarcasm for sarcasm, it was their thing. And then she sighed when she realized they had a thing apparently. Why was it so easy for people like this to get under her skin and burrow there? Their first encounter had ended with him in an Uber so how had that progressed into her giving him a room the next time? She should have left him in a gutter, she really should have, no matter how lost he seemed.
As if to answer those questions, Finn’s words pulled at her lips, not able to help the amusement that came with them. “You? Not drunk in my presence? I’ll believe it when I see it.” She took her own cup from where it had just finished brewing and took a sip, Winter looking over the edge of it at him. He had to stop doing that if they were going to look into this together. She wouldn’t be able to handle the self depreciation too long. “Don’t ever apologize for being who you are, Finn. Own it or change it, but don’t apologize.”
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