#this is so funny coming from bruce | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mylifeingotham · 2 months

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mamawasatesttube · 6 months

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Bruce awkwardly trying to “dad” Kon is so funny. The batkids would def make black hair blue eyes jokes about it when they realize.

Bruce: so do you like fishing?

Kon: uh idk? I’ve never done it. (And internally he’s wondering if this is some kind of test or bat code) why?

Bruce, already planning a trip to his lake house: no reason

Kon gets details to come to a random house out in the country and thinks it a safe house and comes ready for a mission, only to find Bruce with fishing poles

both dick and clark are watching this happen with a giant bucket of popcorn between them i think.

no but the idea of bruce trying to take kon for a fishing trip is so funny njdksjbk like... its FISHING. you just sit there for a bit. and he's BATMAN. so he'll just be sitting there in silence punctuated by the occasional "hn." or "hrng." as kon, in growing confusion, just Does Not shut up. does batman want to hear about his opinions on the star wars extended universe versus legends canon? probably not but he's going to because kon can't just sit here in a boat with batman in SILENCE, that's basically TORTURE,

but also makes me think of kon doing the move like katara in s1e1 in atla, where he can just. ttk a bubble of water with a fish in it right up into the air. haha look batman i got one!!! what do i do with it??

#answers #summerbummin #extremely awkward attempts at bonding with his future son-in-law. thats funny.#he invites himself to kon's graduation from smallville high and sits there in the stands next to dick like :| (grunt of approval)#and kon is just like. did you bring him??? and dicks like no he brought himself but hes being shy about it lmaoooo #kon is so confused but figures dick just means bruce thought it was a convenient excuse to come see clark or something #kon #bruce

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phil-lesterfan · 3 months

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all those anti-batjokes “you shouldn’t ship it and here’s why” posts don’t work on me bc half the reasons i ship it are due to their status as enemies and being hero/villain. “but death in the family! the killing joke!” people cry — i call that seasoning, adds a little spice to the dish.

#oc #honestly i love how far the joker pushes bruce i love him being forced to weight the family on one hand and joker on the other #*weigh #i need joker to bend him and make me think he’ll break only for bruce to never do that #i need bruce to want to tear the joker apart but also be devastated when he comes close to acfually doing it #*actually #babygirl i need them so psychologically fucked its funny they start physicallly fucking too #i love lego batjokes and telltale juce and them being silly goofy dont get me wrong #but i also need them to be so fucked up. dracze’s scenes from retirement is so real. sure theres fluff but they just cant resist the chase #or saremina’s love&abuse series. she gets it

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frownyalfred · 1 year

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not me making little mando'a jokes that only like three people will appreciate

[translation/explanation under cut]

"What a crazy ex-wife, Dad."

"Ex-fiancée," Bruce corrected, frowning. "And I was 17. I give*."

"Sure," Jason said easily, "Still your ex-fiancée."

---

*: I give, take it or leave it. Like cut me a break.

dar'riduur: ex-wife/husband (lit. not wife/husband)

ven'riduur: fiancée (lit. future/next wife/husband)

dar'ven'riduur: ex-fiancée (lit. not future/next wife/husband)

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oifaaa · 1 year

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personally I think jeon should have died after the batarang in utrh. not being able to save jason has killed bruce once, being directly responsible for jason's second death will absolutely destroy him <3

Jeon did die tho its just that he didn't stay dead but even if he did stay dead I'm not sure if the writers would of bothered to actually explore the effects killing Jeon himself would have on Bruce

#Ask #Anon #I think that would be an interesting au idea tho #Jason like previously takes more time to come back from the dead #So Bruce has to deal with digging his son out of a collapsed building again #And Jason has to once again #Dig himself out of his grave #This was sad #Then it got funny #Jason just like really #Again!!!!!!#Learn the lesson old man

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hood-ex · 2 years

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Okay, now I have to know Dick's body count. The Joker, Creighton, that Nazi whose daughters founded Spyral and Leviathan?

Ohhh, right, Dr. Dedalus. I don't remember if it was implied that Dick killed him or if he just ejected him from his body and simultaneously erased everyone's knowledge of Dr. Dedalus. I think it was the latter but I could be wrong.

In Batman and Robin Vol. 2 #23, Dick went through a simulation where he killed Heretic to save Damian's life. It obviously wasn't a real kill since it was essentially virtual reality, but either way, he didn't hesitate 💀. And guess who wrote that issue? Yup. Tomasi.

#no but that issue is funny bc alfred apparently called dick and was like ''bruce is off the deep end. he needs you.''#and so dick left chicago to come help bruce (y'know. same as he did when bruce went off the rails after jason's death bc he's a rock.)#and bruce was doing all these simulations to try and figure out ways he could have saved damian from heretic #and dick was like ''hm. is this a two player game?'' and bruce was like ''yeah.'' and so dick joined the simulation with bruce #and they worked together to save damian #and dick straight up killed heretic and that finally satisfied bruce #bc he finally realized that they could do everything they could in the simulation to save damian's life #but it wouldn't change the fact that damian was gone irl #anyways. i just like that instead of dick yelling at bruce to stop using the simulation he joined bruce instead.#bc he knew bruce would keep obsessing over it until bruce saved damian. and he decided to help bruce work through that trauma.#Dick Grayson #anon

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yellowocaballero · 1 year

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Not an ask just

Damn chapter 10 of new wave was amazing! I didn’t expect to see who you brought in but just ABDJXOCJDNSJ I have no words, only praise for your work, have a wonderful day

Thank you! Trust me, I spent half the fic going "ugh who the hell is the Rogue" before I hit upon the fucking perfect one and went back and changed a bit in the rest of the fic for foreshadowing. It was just perfect!! He stands at the border! Literally half and half! A man of transition! A man with personal meaning to Bruce and who's important in his own arc! A guy who's grounded enough to fit into the story but zany enough to make everybody go ???. Somebody with a sense of justice and righteousness, just like Bruce, but a bloody reflection of the end outcome of vengeance! Famously Robin's first big Rogue who seriously injured in - I think he shot Dick in Robin Year 1 and was the reason why Bruce fired him the first time. Just! Perfect!!

God I love how this fic turned out so much. I don't even feel responsible for it. I'm just like. Yeah, perfect fic. Lucky to have found it lying on the ground. It's not perfect but also it's perfect. I love loving my own writing, everybody should give it a shot and see how they feel. It's the best part of being a writer. Just loving it.

Thank you for the ask! Next chapter is the penultimate one, and it features my third favorite scene in the story and the one that made me super emo.

#im still mad he was SO PERFECT #also it is very darkly funny for steph to be able to say “guy's too trusting! well that's fixed now”#in so many ways this is an origin story for Bruce too #he's still young in a lot of ways and you see him grow up a bit and find responsibility through managing Steph & Tim #coming of age stories for teens where fucking everybody out here coming of age #get development from a young adult into an adult BITCH #batdad fics never rly give room for the guy to be a literal 20 something #batdad fics dislike giving him room to fuck up in any significant way #we acknowledge often that he doesn't know what he's doing #but irl that results in sig fuckups please let it happen #theres a reason why none of the batfam fanfics feel like a real family smh

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maemil · 25 days

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Extremely funny bit of Dark Knights of Steel I have not seen anyone mention is that by the timeline we are given, Bruce has to be 17 at the oldest for everything??

Dark Knights of Steel #12

Makes his relationship with the Robins even funnier, that is not Bruce and his gang of children, that is just a gang of children, full stop.

#in tales from the three kingdoms he supposedly meets the robins 5 years ago so it's clear no one was thinking about this #(bruce would be 12)#which tbh is not unexpected from a comic that couldnt keep supergirl's name straight (zara or zala??) & called deadshot wade #(ig they mixed him up with deathstroke and mixed *him* up with deadpool but come on guys)#(ironically there's a different story where he's *almost* 12 and it is funny to imagine they take place within a year of each other)#dark knights of steel #batman #bruce wayne #dc comics #mae reads comics

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forevercloudnine · 2 years

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Henchman: Man, I hate just waiting its been HRS what u want me 2 do?

Henchman: R u using me as BAIT???????

Batman: Don’t be ridiculous. I’m trying to protect you.

Batman: Why else would I even let you in my car?

Batman: Okay, I lied. I am using you as bait.

#killer croc #waylon jones #bruce wayne #batman: reptilian #sorry everyone... i'm thinking about this comic again so you get more panels #bruce's maniacal grin leaning over 'The Bat-Phone' as he texts lies to a henchperson is just so endlessly delightful to me #batman doing anything mundane in liam sharp's incredible esoteric art syle is so inherently funny #apparently originally the book was supposed to have a more realistic artist #but steve dillon was unable to due to. well. dying unfortunately #which is obviously terrible. but i think the script works SO well with the eyeless shadow monster batman we got in the final version #garth ennis writes such snippy petty dialogue for him and it's absolutely hilarious coming from an ethereal demon shade

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strawberrywindow · 1 year

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i want to try and start making/getting into animatics but the only idea i currently have for one involves putting it to a song and that's probably not the best thing to START learning with lmfao but go big or go home right, not like i'll be getting to it anytime soon with how goddamn busy i've been and how many other things i want to do first 🤣

#my idea came though because we're onto act 2 of chicago #shows at the end of the month and i'm so excited 🥳#but anyways velma's first song of the act 'i know a girl' is BIG FUCKING Emil to Bruce vibes lmfaoooo #its just so bitter and self pitying and funny and i can very much see emil thinking this way prior to all his self improvement 😂#like the context changes because in the play velma sings it watching roxie on the news after roxie reveals she's (faking) a pregnancy #whereas for this i'd imagine its emil watching bruce on the news from jail too but its bruce getting accepted onto the avengers lol #'now why didnt i think of that? 😒' 😂#i also think that how roxie acts in the song is perfect to show how emil SEES bruce #as someone putting on a show to get out of the exact spot emil's in not the innocent little scientist with a big bad hulk inside him 🙄#you know cause emil be projecting hardcore 🤣#i just think the lyrics fit well and there's a lot of moments that could be tweaked to make them fit the new context while keeping #the wording #like with roxie's whole 'the two of us' thing being bruce/hulk instead of roxie and her 'baby' 😂#this would be the most self indulgent thing i've ever made which is exactly why its a project i would like to work on #when i have more time. its a fun goal to keep in mind even if i'm the only one who finds it funny 😂#i know a girl #a girl who lands on top #you could put her face into a pail of slop #and she'd come up smellin' like a rose #how she does it heaven knows 😒 😂

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t4tbruharvey · 1 year

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📗 👀

when oh when will i have the motivation to write my trans bruce banner thesis fic wherein rick immediately clocks him as an egg but doesn't say anything because bruce is kind of going through it rn

#they go on a little road trip across the desert and then they get picked up by the military #and betty takes rick back to her flat after telling bruce he's selfish for letting rick come this far with him (she's right)#and then bruce goes on the run from the military (again) after escaping and the stuff happens with jen to make her she hulk #and rick (who's been tracking disturbances of this kind in order to find bruce) sees this on the news and asks betty to come w him #so they go to minnesota and find out that it's not actually bruce it's jen! and betty and jen have their mini gay arc #where betty already knows she's gay and feels neutral on jen and jen thinks she's stright but is going insane for betty #and rick gets like a semblance of a normalish life w betty except betty has a lot of issues from her childhood e.g. her mum dying #and then rick #meanwhile bruce has been joining the avengers and thinking steve is being transphobic #he's not. steve is also trans he just doesn't like bruce as a person #and then rick breaks into the avengers compound when bruce is off world with thor (ragnarok era) and yells at steve and tony <3 #and rick becomes steve's sidekick as he did in the comics #and then bruce returns! family reuinion!#reunion. whatever #and everyone learns the power of community and also tony dies #sequel fic dealing with rick's INSANE jealousy when peter joins bc HE should be the youngest coolest trans guy there #what do you MEAN he isn't the baby anymore. that he isn't the most funny and interesting and smart (in his own way) transmasc.#what the HELL everyone is meant to be on his SIDE #bruce voice (without looking up from his work) nobody's taking sides rick be a bit more mature about this #rick voice MATURE???? HE HAS ACTUAL SKILLS IM WORTHLESS AND EVERYONE IS THINKING IT WOE IS ME ET CETERA #sorry lois this really got away from me

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therevengeoffrankenstein · 1 year

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fucking hell.

#sobbing. the concept of a family home.... the concept of a childhood home.#myevilposts #music #bruce springsteen #my dad tag #i have a very positive relationship with my father but my parents' divorce broke something in me. i would go back. i have gone back.#i used to be distant from him but as i've gotten older and more sensible we've grown closer. i love him so much. i miss him rn.#he's coming again soon but it's just. like this sometimes.#personal #it's also funny to me how the new owners have the outside set up. it's ironic almost. it's very funny actually. it looks much nicer though.

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daydreamerdrew · 2 years

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The Incredible Hulk (1968) #207

#yay they finally got through to him!!!#oh I’m glad that it was Kyle honestly because he’s so funny #once upon a time I would have expected it to be Valkyrie because she and the Hulk had a good connection #but I feel like lately she’s changed a bit as she’s acclimated to society more #like see how she briefly attacked the Hulk earlier in the Defenders to protect police officers from him #and then when she was arrested by police herself she willingly went to prison when she could have escaped at any time #like she’s become more… idk of an establishment (for lack of a better word) hero #I think that Kyle’s personality as demonstrated here worked well for this #I really like his speech to the Hulk #the bit where they repair the bridge before going to Strange’s house stands out to me #I actually think that sort of thing is good for the Hulk like having him be involved a bit in the repairs for the damage that he’s caused #could help him better understand the consequences of his actions #I also like Strange saying ‘I am truly touched that you place so much faith in me Hulk’#I think that Strange can sometimes come across as cold or out of touch with the true extent of his team members feelings #I think the way that he approached trying to restrain the Hulk in this issue was in character for him #but I like having this small bit of affirmation of their friendship at the end #marvel #bruce banner #kyle richmond #stephen strange #my posts #comic panels

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deadsetobsessions · 4 months

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He could overlook a lot of things, but this was getting ridiculous. You’d think seasoned vigilantes would have better excuses prepared, but Danny had caught that flash of panic that crossed Tim’s face as Danny came face to face with Tim dragging an unconscious Steph to her designated room in the manor.

“Uh.”

“Danny! Uh, Stephanie brained herself- uh, sliding down the bannisters and- pleasedon’ttellBruce.”

Danny blinks, staring at Tim and then very pointedly, very slowly, turned his head back towards the direction he came from: the main hall… where the bannisters were. He wonders what vigilante hijinks they were trying to hide from B this time.

Tim coughs, trying to inch Stephanie away. “Uh. She was doing… cartwheels?”

Danny let his eyes slowly take in the bruises that were clearly not from “cartwheeling in the mansion” on the both of them. There’s a huge bandaged cut on Steph’s forearm and a giant bruise on the edge of Tim’s jaw. Tim’s face twitches nervously, not that anyone else would have noticed- except Danny has enhanced ghost senses and could feel the panic coming off of his adopted brother.

“You know…” Shit, what does he do? Not knowing would be so much easier if these idiots gave him good excuses! “I don’t think I want to know what you two have been up to… but should I be worried for your, uh, physical health?”

“Nope!”

“… Okay.” He says. Tim opens his mouth to make further excuses but Danny adds quickly, “But don’t tell me, because if Bruce asks, I want plausible deniability.”

Cartwheels, Danny’s ghostly ass. Luckily, this show of doubt reaffirms Tim’s belief that Danny believes them all of the other times. Danny grins inwardly, planning capitalizing on the guilt that flashed over Tim’s face.

“Deal.”

“Want help?” The halfa points at Steph, who’s still being dragged over the carpet by a noodle armed Tim. Danny knows Tim’s strong, he’s a vigilante, but it’s funny watching him pretend to struggle.

“Please. I’m so tired right now.” He looks it too. Danny’s brows furrow with genuine concern when he takes in Tim’s drowned raccoon look. He picks up Steph, firmly removing her from Tim’s suddenly weak grip. Being careful to avoid her injuries, Danny nods at the door to her room. Tim cracks it open and does a little showy gesture towards the inside.

“C’mon, we’ll tuck her in and then I’ll tuck you in.”

“What, you don’t have to do that.”

“If you don’t let me tuck you in and make sure you sleep, I’ll tell Alfred who really accidentally poured boiling hot coffee on his azaleas last week. And I’ll sic Dick on you and tell him you haven’t been sleeping enough.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Tim grumbles. “But fine. It’s really not my fault I’m this tired. A missing spleen is hard to handle, you know.”

“Yeah, missing an organ sucks,” Danny says, shit eating grin hidden long enough to catch the contemplative bloodhound look that passes over Tim’s face.

“Which- uh, which one of your organs is missing?”

“Liver.” Danny says, remembering the flashes of pain. He tilts his head away to hide the grin at Tim’s panicked face.

When he tucks Tim in, he pretends to believe Tim’s sleeping act and left his room while mumbling about the Wayne’s clumsiness and bruises and stocking up on bruise cream. He couldn’t even enjoy Tim’s floundering, this time, worried as he is.

——

“Brother.” Danny half turns his head, just to beam a sunny smile at Cass. He signs an exuberant hello. The halfa hangs up his coat as he addresses his adopted sister.

“Cass! What’s up?”

“Dinner.” She smiles back, signing that Alfred wanted them to the dinning room post haste. The main dining room, because rich people were fruit loops and Batman is totally included. Cassandra looks down and gasps.

What…?

Oh. Fuck. Danny glances down. He genuinely forgot about that.

“Huh.”

“Okay?” Suddenly, Cass is right next to him, hand reached out and hovering over the actual knife Danny forgot was sticking out of him. At least it’s where his liver should be, so he won’t have to pretend.

“Oh. Yeah, I’m good. Don’t have a liver.” Danny decides on the spot that he’s not gonna mess with Cass. She smiled the same as him. “Got mugged on the way back but I think they said I could keep the knife, right?”

“Danny.” She’s frowning at him. He feels like he just kicked tiny Cujo. But he doesn’t feel bad enough to blurt everything out.

“Here. You can have it if you want?” Danny casually pulls out the knife and holds the wound together with his bare hands. Cass looks more alarmed. She bodily picks up Danny and starts running.

“Woah!”

Cass throws him at Alfred, gently.

“Miss Cassandra! Why, I never-!” Alfred pauses in surprise.

“Uh. Wow, Cass. You’re really strong.” Danny pipes up, hand still over his gushing wound.

She ignores him, pointing at Danny and telling Alfred, “Hurt. Got mugged. Dumb.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault Gothamites are ready to jump people at any moment. Besides, it’s daytime. It’s not like the vigilante furries are out to save my butt. I think I did really well coming back safe, you know?”

“Hurt. Forgot the knife. Was in him.”

“Master Danny!”

Danny pouts. He also knows there’s a discreet camera in the corners of the sitting room, so he’s definitely hoping he could phase into the cave when Barbara eventually tells the group that he called them “vigilante furries.”

Alfred clucks his tongue and set to work patching him up. Danny tries not to bask in the careful way Alfred tended to his wounds. It reminds him too much of Jazz, if Jazz was British and a man with greying hair.

But because they were watching him and he was watching them in return, Danny noticed the moment Alfred’s hands stalled and Cass’ gaze got intense. What now…?

Oh, fuck, his vivisection scar. Oops. Danny smiled, channeling Dani (his lovely clone sister) at her most innocent.

Cass smiled back, just as sunnily, fists tightening at her side in repressed fury.

——

“Cass? Why’d you call us?”

“Yeah, baby bat. I got a couple o’ smugglers to talk to.”

Cass paces.

“What is it, Cassandra?” Damian tuts impatiently.

“Danny. Has… scars. Autopsy. But was struggling. When cut.”

“What.”

“A vivisection, Master Jason.” Alfred’s voice was crisp and eerily cold. His hands are folded, rage only held back by his sheer will and a well practiced sense of propriety.

“We find. Who hurt him,” Cass snarls. “We. End.”

Jason’s eyes glint green, hands going to his guns. “Fine. By. Me.”

“It does tie in with the dead comment. I wonder what happened to him.” Tim clacks away at the bat computer, furiously looking into the matter already. Bruce has taken to prowling, stressed out at the prospect of one more of his children- not a vigilante at that- getting hurt the way Jason had. Worse, even. A vivisection. He was alive, dissected. Aware enough to struggle. Dick looked like he was torn about hunting down and lunging at whoever hurt Danny to rip their throats out with his bare teeth versus the urge to go back up to the manor and wrap Danny in bubble wrap.

In the corner, Danny was having a quiet breakdown because he came here to watch them react to vigilante furries, not offering to murder the people who vivisected him. What the fuck?? He ran his hands through his hair, invisible.

——

“Oh, by the way, we should consider more daytime shifts.”

“Why?” Spoiler asks Barbara.

“Danny got mugged. And called us the nightly furries.”

“The fuckin’ what-?” Jason chokes out, laughing. Bruce stops his pacing, body language becoming slightly offended.

Danny muffles a laugh only Alfred would have heard.

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jinjeriffic · 2 months

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DPxDC and OOC

I've had a couple of posts cross my dash recently where people lament that a lot of the dpxdc fandom writes characters very OOC and how we're proliferating these characterizations among each other. I figured I'd add my own two cents.

I think the fundamental discrepancy comes from trying to reconcile two canons with vastly different tones.

Danny Phantom is a comedy superhero show operating on cartoon logic. Why do ghost experts Jack and Maddie never realize their own kid is a ghost? Why is the status quo restored at the end of every episode? Why does Danny shoot an ectoblast out of his butt that one time? Because it's funny. It's cartoony action fun where the plot is resolved in 22 minutes, there's never any lasting consequences and it's aimed at kids.

DC meanwhile wants to be taken Seriously. Heroes get beaten within an inch of their life, traumatized, killed and even the good guys do messed up things (often to each other). Yes there's action and puns, but also horrific violence, actions have consequences and it's (mostly) aimed at adults. When a main character dies the comics show their family and friends mourning and things are very dramatic. Even though at this point we, the audience can pretty much expect every death to be undone within 2-5 years of publishing, but I digress.

So how do we, the fanfic/fanart creators reconcile these differences when we make our crossovers? We either make DP more serious and somber, or we make DC more comedic.

Suddenly we have a DP verse where the Fentons' bumbling obliviousness is elevated to serious neglect or outright abuse. The GiW are no longer a minor annoyance, they are a serious threat with genocidal plans and a desire to vivisect the protagonist. When actions have consequences, we imagine Danny as dealing with serious PTSD from having to be a solo superhero and witnessing his family's death that one time (and maybe also getting vivisected). Danny is not just a teen superhero, he's now the Ghost King with serious responsibility on his shoulders.

On the flipside, if we make DC more comedic we tend to exaggerate character traits for comedic effect, focus more on the interpersonal dynamics (especially the Batfam) and have the characters act more casual and silly. Suddenly the Batfam goes from a group of seriously messed up individuals who have trouble communicating with each other and fight all the time to Batdad "Kids if you don't stop killing criminals you won't get dessert ffs" Bruce. Violence is played for laughs instead of taken seriously. Yeah they fight, but they still Love Each Other.

And THIS IS PERFECTLY FINE. It's transformative work! And trying to reconcile these disparate fandoms is hard! Fandom is a labor of love. We do it for free. We do it for our own entertainment. And no one is forcing you to read fics you don't like. DLDR and all that.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #meta #danny phantom #dc comics

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