Tumgik
#this comic broke into my house and ruined my life
jewishcissiekj · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Anakin Skywalker - Darth Vader in Star Wars: Darth Vader (2017) #25
664 notes · View notes
endlesstwanted · 27 days
Text
Fandom Free, Wild Edition masterpost
My fill for@fandom-free-bingo’s last round, Wild Edition! I didn’t get a bingo on my card, but filled my alternates so I’m calling it a win 🥰
Most stories are from the Marvel Cinematic Universe fandoms, but I also created a moodboard for the Hawkeye comics and a story for 9-1-1: Lone Star. Eight fills and a bit over 3,8k words overall. All info, ratings and pairings are below the cut and titles are linked to my Ao3.
Tumblr media
Pros and Cons of Being Hawkeye
🌴 Bow and Arrow
Fandom: Hawkeye Comics Clint Barton & Kate Bishop | Teen | Modboard Summary: A moodboard made by endlesstwanted (and Kate - Hawkeye!) Tumblr link
Tumblr media
I’m Not Going To Say Goodbye So I Don’t Have To Go
🌴 Leaning into the other Person
Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV) Carlos Reyes/TK Strand | Teen | 2,039 words WARNINGS: Post-Episode: s02e12 The Big Heat, Trauma, Angst Summary: After their night gets ruined by a home in flames, Carlos and TK go to the Strand’s house.
Tumblr media
The Man On The Bridge
🌴 Amnesia
Fandom: Captain America Movies Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers | Teen | 100 words Summary: He thinks about the man who spared his life.
Tumblr media
Chasing Some Warmth
🌴 Soothing Touch
Fandom: The Avengers Movies Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton/Sam Wilson | Explicit | 795 words WARNINGS: Casual Sex, Porn Without Plot, Established Clint/Sam Summary: The nights at Barton’s farm are very cold since the generator broke down. Bucky’s interested in learning what Clint and Sam do in these cases.
Tumblr media
Not Suitable For a Date
🌴 Aching
Fandom: Captain America Movies Maria Hill & Natasha Romanov | Teen | 100 words Summary: Maria wasn’t expecting to find her friend’s crush in that vehicle.
Tumblr media
Someone Like You And Me
🌴 Ancient City | ALTERNATE
Fandom: Thor Movies Jane Foster & Sif | Teen | 581 words WARNINGS: Canon Sick Character Summary: In New Asgard’s hospital, Jane reunites with an old friend.
Tumblr media
Barton Versus Romanov
🌴 Bests Friends | ALTERNATE
Fandom: The Avengers Movies Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov | Teen | 100 words WARNINGS: PTSD Summary: Natasha dreams of the nightmare that was losing Clint to Loki’s maneuvers.
Tumblr media
Halloween Revenge
🌴 Revenge | ALTERNATE
Fandom: Captain America Movies Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov | Teen | 100 words Summary: Natasha is now regretting that she ruined last Halloween’s party for Sharon.
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
groggygrimalkin · 3 months
Text
TW SA and Abuse,long heavy personal post
I guess I'm in a sappy mood so I'll talk about why Homestuck means so much to me. For a year I've kinda wanted to make a video about it, and maybe I will, but for now I just wanna talk abt it. I'm not tagging this as hs but serious trigger tag ahead please tell me if you want to tag this as anything
Okay so I got into Homestuck around 2011, I was being pretty heavily abused by my grandma and mom and also neglected by them which is a very weird ass combo, but a story about someone playing a game and having such close friends appealed to me (I also thought Homestuck was an anime before finding the comic and would look up like "Homestuck episode 1" and get mad when I couldnt find it lmao). Now keep in mind I was a child so like media literacy wasn't my strong suit but I still retained and understood a good ammount of stuff mainly about characters. Anyways as a child naturally does I started talking about it with all of my friends and tried to get them into it, and one friend got REALLY into it. The best I can describe it is like that episode of the Cuphead show where Mugman likes piano and Cuphead gets into it and immediately overshadows him. But I was still happy to have someone to talk about it with. My favorite characters at the time were Meulin, Nepeta, and Damara and I would happily talk about them, but the person would shit on me for liking Meulin claiming she was a bad person and constantly pointing out all her flaws, it annoyed me because they're favourite characters had TONS of flaws they didn't acknowledge but for some reason me loving Meulin was the worst thing ever. I also loved the Midnight Crew and later to my chagrin they did too. I kept reading as updates came out and soon Homestuck became their entire thing, I remember going over their house because at a certain point they were my only friend and they talked to me about Homestuck like I didn't introduce them to it. But yknow, okay, whatever. We would ship our ocs with Canon characters and pretend to be characters and stuff, pretty standard until one day they came over my house and insisted on being Dualscar. They wrote a fic about him doing it with one of my ocs and I was just kinda happy for the attention. Anyways we were rping in real life and I don't remember when, or how, but they had me pinned to the couch and were insistent I let them touch me because we were role-playing and they were Dualscar. Now I've always lowkey been ace, especially in my younger years, so I was pretty uncomfortable, and even if I wasnt asexual someone having you pinned down insisting on touching you when you're not consenting isnt a fun time. Anyways they did stuff like this a few times more in various places and would get mad when I said no to their advances. But for some reason I kept hanging out with them. They were gross and rude and pushy but the only friend I had. I remember them basically assigning me Diamonds Droog kin which I didn't care because I liked Droog(still do) and would pretend to be Slick and suprise suprise would try and molest me. I began to get bitter towards Homestuck, something I once loved was being used against me in one of the worst ways possible. It was a weird time because I would just begrudgingly read the updates I once loved. Anyways when I was 15 they molested me again and it was the worst one, like I wouldn't let my family members hug me for years type of bad. I remember the exact video I was watching when it happened, Game grumps playing Silent Hills PT. I couldn't watch that video for years after. I also remember them showing me really fucked up porn between characters and when I asked like "Hey isn't that weird?" They did the ol' "Ugh it's just fictional!!" Sheit. Anyways at a certain point Homestuck was just ruined for me. I finished it just to say I did and when people asked me if I liked it I would lie and say I didn't. Thankfully I broke it off with them after nine fucking years of knowing eachother. For years I continued to say I dislike homestuck until I got like 22...I stumbled upon Hiveswap and it was funny all of the troll and Alternia facts I could remember, I was hesitant at first and was still like "Ugh but I don't REALLY like it!!" And then I saw....Them....
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It was a weird feeling accepting that "Yep I like Homestuck I've been lying to myself for years" and I bought friendsim. I was hooked emmediately. It was like a flood of love I had for homestuck when I started in 2011 all came rushing back, the person who hurt me didn't matter, all that mattered is that I was enjoying it again. Tbh like alot of stuff from my first read was sort of still in my mind, so I stuck to watching recap videos and reading segments I couldnt remember and holy shit there was so much I missed as a child. And then I got Hiveswap and BAM I'm hooked even more, and then
AND THEN...
I rewatched and re-read the first intermission...
Tumblr media
And it was set in stone that I'm a Homestuck at heart. It was like walking into a bar I hadn't been to in years and all of my old friends were there to welcome me, I was enjoying something again that used to bring me so much comfort before it was ruined for me, but it didn't have to be anymore. I think I sobbed when I realized that. It feels nice to enjoy something that for years was soured for me.
Uh yeah that's why homestucka and hiveswap means so much to me. Opening this blog has been an amazing way for me to get into the fandom which I never have before. I'll probably be an old man talking about leprechauns and trolls but I'll be happy.
2 notes · View notes
scarlet--wiccan · 1 year
Text
I received a lovely DM a the other day and I ended up providing this person with a pretty long response to their question, so I thought I would share my answer to my main page because it’s not something I’ve directly addressed before.
Also, my inbox is, for now, open to anon and regular messages. People keep sending me questions like this over DM or on my other accounts, so you can just submit asks, it keeps things simpler. Anyways, the question went like this:
I thought about Billy’s Judaism and Tommys trauma/abilities and mainly as an X-men fan, I thought about them being mutants but I often equated how Billy’s Judaism was always hidden, it seemed like it was a metaphor (to me) for him being a mutant. I also recognised Their Roma identities were also translucent/complicated throughout comic history, alot like their X-genes (complicated and hidden). So I equated both the two together. The Magnus family has suffered so much throughout retcons and I thought billy and tommy’s mutant status was practically the only thing keeping them connected towards magneto & the rest of their family besides Wanda. I’ve had my thoughts about it as well, like Billy can pass just as a witch whereas Tommy cannot and I thought I should ask a Romani person how they would feel on that. I always thought their mutant identities were important at least, to me. It represented their “complicated parts” of their history/family.
I’m not sure if you’re asking me if I think mutant identity is important to the narrative, or if it’s important to these characters as people. I’ll try to answer both, but it’s complicated either way. The short answer, which you’re probably not going to like, is no. That said, whenever I am looking back at material from before 2015, I still view the characters as mutants and analyze their experiences through that lens. It’s complicated and annoying, because this retcon never should have happened and it messes with continuity. My answer to this question is not about personal bias, I am just trying to dissect the material as objectively as possible.
Wanda and Pietro have been around for a long time and have received a lot of different character treatments. I find that in most of their stories from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, mutant identity is an extra layer that is tacked on to facilitate stories about marginalization that could not have been told explicitly during that time period. They’re not directly involved in the mutant community. Instead, they’re Avengers characters who happen to be mutants. Wanda and Pietro are written as perpetually misunderstood outsiders who are frequently discriminated against and tokenized. To me, as a Romani reader, it’s very obviously a metaphor for racism and xenophobia. I think there are a lot of readers don’t see that clearly, because they don’t understand Romani issues first-hand and they’re not as interested in learning about us or representing us as they are in fictional mutants. 
I do like their relationship with Magneto and I think it’s very valuable in terms of representation, but it’s never been the most interesting thing about them. Their early life experiences with Django and Marya, and everything that happened with Chthon and the Evolutionary are what actually drove their plot lines. Wanda’s desire to study and develop her relationship with magic is what fueled most of her development. Unfortunately, when we get to the 90s, that starts to become overshadowed by the narrative that they are Magneto’s tragic lost children who have become these ostracized, self-hating mutants. That really hit the fan with House of M, which blatantly disregarded much of their previous characterization, and kind of ruined the characters for a long time. Taking them out of that relationship with Magneto and mutantdom allowed the characters to actually return to center for the first time in decades. 
So, as much as I think the retcon was bad because it fucked with continuity, and it broke them away from their Jewish background, I think it was better for their growth and their storylines— especially Wanda. Mutant drama was not serving these characters well, and it had not been for a very long time. There is a part of me that actually likes their new backstory more than the original. In the current version, Chthon and the Evolutionary prey on the Maximoff family specifically because they are Romani and they come from a particular Romani cultural tradition. Those themes about racism and the ways in which Wanda has been exploited and ostracized are able to be more literal now, which is good because modern writers are finally interested in having her face her traumas head-on and take back her power. That never would have happened if she was still being defined as a ~crazy~ mutant reality warper. Again, that doesn’t mean I think the retcon is okay.
For the characters as people, yes, they absolutely valued their mutant identity. Pietro, as time went on, became more involved in the mutant community and felt the pressure of Magneto’s legacy more profoundly. Wanda always expressed pride and never wanted to compromise her mutant identity even though she felt distanced from that community; she spoke often about anti-mutant discrimination and she was very compassionate to Magneto after he came back into her life as a father figure. She was written as rejective of her mutant identity in the 2000s and early 2010s, but, like most things from House of M, I think that was a betrayal of her earlier characterization. For better or for worse, Trial of Magneto showed that Wanda still cares deeply about mutantkind, has gone above and beyond to make things right since the Decimation, and will continue to be an ally however she can.
Billy and Tommy get their powers from Wanda, so I think they should just match whatever she is. Their origin is tied specifically to her magical storyline, not the mutant stuff. If Wanda’s not a mutant anymore, I think it’s perfectly fine that her kids aren’t, either. These characters have never been aligned with the X-Men or any kind of mutant community. Tommy’s experience with his parents and the detention center where he was abused are derived from him being a “mutant,” but it’s not difficult to tweak the context on that. 
Obviously, Billy and Tommy have the same powers as Wanda and Pietro, and when Young Avengers was written those powers were mutant powers, so that shared genetic trait was proof of their relationship. It that sense, them being mutants was textually important. Billy being a Jewish character was also, I believe, an intentional choice that Heinberg made to further cement a connection between him and the Magnus family. Even though he was reincarnated, his heritage and ethnic background remained similar— that why I’ve always insisted that the character is also Romani. We can keep all of these identities intact because it’s magic! I’m actually surprised that you think his Jewishness was ever “hidden.” I think that it was very prominent in Young Avengers and Children’s Crusade.
In terms of powers, Billy’s chaos magic comes from Wanda and her experience with Chthon. Because his magic and his identity as a witch come from Wanda, specifically, they have to be contextualized and understood first and foremost through his Romani heritage. Again, being a mutant is like the least relevant part of that whole equation. Readers don’t see that because they don’t understand our culture and history, and they’re not invested in our representation. 
In the year 2022, I don’t think we need to rely on a metaphorical minority group to represent “complicated” multicultural and multiethnic backgrounds. We can just accept that Wanda is a Romani woman with Jewish ancestry, and her children are therefore also Jewish and Romani. They arrive at those identities differently, but that’s okay because that’s what it’s like being in a mixed immigrant family anyways. That does not erase Billy’s upbringing or his Judaism. It does not invalidate the Kaplans. This is a fantasy plot, we can just let mixed race people exist. We can let Jewish people of color exist. It’s okay.
26 notes · View notes
roobylavender · 2 years
Note
do you have any specific non-comic quotes that remind you of bruce?
any asshole can open up a museum / put all of the things he loves on display / so everyone can see them (it's a hit, rilo kiley)
but grieving people are selfish. they won’t let you comfort them and they say you don’t understand and they make you feel useless when all your life you’ve been functional to them. (the piper’s son, melina marchetta)
i should live in salt for leaving you behind (i should live in salt, the national)
oh joy i'm afraid of the light / as the jewel of my mind begins to fall apart / do not destroy what has taken its time / as the lord would abide in murder and crime (murder and crime, sufjan stevens)
grief paralyzes. motion continues; time departs. something’s left with no means to retrieve it. a candle out in the down-clap of darkness. then to wade and wade—in grief: i, detached from place and time. (dream of the divided field, yanyi)
one peculiar way to die of loneliness is to try. pretend november has a sliver of ice in her throat. (trances of the blast, mary ruefle)
shame creates imaginary worlds inside your head. this haunted house you’re creating is forged from your shame. no one else can see it, so you keep trying to describe it to them. you find ways to say, “you don’t want any part of this mess. i’m mediocre, aging rapidly, and poor. do yourself a favor and leave me behind.” you want to be left behind, though. that way no one bears witness to what you've become (i'm broke and mostly friendless, and i've wasted my whole life, heather havrilesky)
i've spent most of my life and most of my friendships holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough they won't leave, and fearing that it's a matter of time before they figure me out and go. (shauna niequist)
cause if i can learn to love your shadow / when your shadow hits the light / and there ain't no trace of what we've been through / then i'll shout it 'til the day i die / but i'm still in sight / your fast machine / always holding your love supreme (45, bleachers)
a loss of innocence is the impetus for a journey to find inner truth. in the film, dorothy returns to the world of oz to find its landscape in ruins and its citizens turned to stone. only she can find the ruby slippers and return peace to oz. only we can save ourselves, but first we have to remember who we are. (sufjan stevens)
shall we look at the moon, my little loon / why do you cry? / make the most of your life, while it is rife / while it is light (fourth of july, sufjan stevens)
the bleeding heart, on the other hand is fundamentally incapable of being anything other than themself. they love the way an open wound does. it’s hemorrhagic and contagious. faithful to a fault. they will jump without hesitation, though they’ll hit the ground consumed with guilt. (hauntdom)
i’ve listened to people in the media say that nothing beats the love between a mother and the child she births. i’d have to challenge that. nothing beats it, but something equals it. because i feel a deep love at my heart’s core for this child. i truly believe we were meant to be. (the gift of love, melina marchetta)
hector believes in—he believes in institutions, he believes in—in country, he believes in family, he believes in the army. isn’t it funny how hard it is to describe a good man? he’s a brave man, but deep down, he’d rather be taming horses. (an iliad, lisa peterson) 
responsibility is what is incumbent on me exclusively, and what, humanly, i cannot refuse. i am i in the sole measure that i am responsible, a non-inter-changeable i. i can substitute myself for everyone, but no one can substitute himself for me. such is my inalienable identity of subject. (ethics and infinity, emmanuel levinas) 
the violence that superheroes commit against themselves, for the good of the community—sometimes pushed by a community that worships them, fears and loathes them at the same time—is akin to the violence of every self-sacrifice, even if it is not performed by a masked champion or by the son of god. (christ, batman, and girard, lorenzo magnani and tommaso bertolotti) 
we keep fixing what we know is only bound to break / what's worth saving is never worth letting go to waste / i want to mend what i've got, instead of throwing away (theseus, the oh hellos) 
froi saw the foolishness of dreamers, and he decided he'd like to die so foolish. with a dream in his heart about the possibilities, rather than a chain of hopelessness. (the lumatere chronicles, melina marchetta) 
25 notes · View notes
thelittlestspider · 2 years
Text
a couple of excerpts from the ericjackie fic. somehow it's become a practical magic crossover with one line.
warnings: homophobia, underage drinking mention.
Tears stream down Jackie’s face. She aggressively wipes them away, hating how she can’t stop crying. Why did she have to tell Donna? Her face scrunches up as she cries even harder, her breaths fast and shallow until she feels like she can’t breathe. 
Jackie walks and walks without knowing where she’s even going. The houses all look the same around her and Jackie feels so lost. Then she turns the corner and the Forman house stands in front of her. She almost hadn’t recognized it from the front because she always cuts through the back to get to the basement. The familiar sight makes her breathe a sigh of relief for a moment until fear grips her again. 
She walks around the house to the sliding doors, hoping Eric is there; she can really use a friend right now. The kitchen is empty, which is a huge relief - the last thing she wants is to have to pretend everything’s fine to Eric’s parents right now. She quietly walks up the stairs, glad for the carpet softening her steps, then does a little half-run to Eric’s door. Eric’s lying lengthwise down the bed, holding a Spiderman comic above his face, so focused on what he’s reading he doesn’t hear Jackie come in. Jackie almost hates to bother him when he rarely looks so peaceful. 
Jackie closes the door behind her. 
“Eric?” Eric tips his head to look back at her, eyes wide with surprise. He puts the comic book down and rolls over onto his stomach, looking confused.
“Hey Jackie. How did you get in here?” 
“Your parents left the door unlocked.”
Eric nods. “So what’s up?” 
Jackie hesitates, wringing her hands with guilt. 
“Look, before I tell you…please promise you won’t hate me. Or call me names. I didn’t do it to hurt you.” Eric’s brows draw together further in confusion, but he nods again. 
“Okay, shoot.”
Jackie takes a deep breath, trying to steel herself for whatever reaction Eric might have. She twists the rings on her fingers nervously. 
“So um, I’ve been having a lot of confusing feelings lately. Feelings for girls. And I told Donna that I might have a crush on her.” Eric opens his mouth to say something but Jackier raises her hand to stop him. “Nothing happened, I promise. We got drunk off of my dad’s wine and everything just started pouring out. I told Donna I liked her and she kind of freaked out.” Fear creeps in again, making her stomach turn. “Now I’m scared. Eric, what if she tells everyone? What if my parents find out and they kick me out?” Tears fill her eyes again. “Eric, I’m sorry, I made a mistake and now my life’s ruined.” 
“Hey, hey, don’t cry.” Eric wipes her tears with the end of her scarf, and Jackie’s so upset she can’t even be annoyed with him about it. “Look, Donna and I broke up. For good this time. So I’m not mad at you, okay? And I get what you’re going through. It’s hard for people like us.” Jackie raises her head to look at Eric, brows raised in shock. 
“You’re-you’re like me?” asks Jackie, voice wobbling. 
“Yeah,” replies Eric, shooting her a small smile. “You remember Buddy?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, we’re kind of going out.”
Jackie’s jaw drops. “Really? That’s great Eric. Buddy’s rich, popular, good looking - the perfect trifecta. You’re really moving up in the world.” She lightly pushes his shoulder, smiling. “ I have to say I’m kind of proud of you right now.” Eric rolls his eyes at her, but he’s smiling too. 
“Of course that’s what you focus on.” 
Jackie laughs, sniffling. 
“Rome wasn’t built in a day, Eric. I’m still me.”
They giggle together for a moment. 
“Jackie,” Eric looks at her, smile falling away into seriousness. “Whatever happens, I’m here, okay? I won’t like, abandon you. Maybe there’s a storm coming, but you don’t have to weather it alone.”
Jackie’s lip trembles. “Oh Eric, you’re so sweet.” She reaches out and hugs Eric. He rubs her back soothingly. 
“I’m glad you’re my friend.”
“Yeah, me too.”
[after Donna outs Jackie, Jackie’s really going through it. Everybody finds out. Red and Kitty tell Jackie’s parents and Pam tries to run interference with Jack.]
“Jackie, you can’t be a, a lesbian! It would be a disgrace.”
“Now, now Jack. It’s just a phase. She’ll grow out of it.” Her mom glances at her, as if to reassure her she’s got this. Jackie glances back, hopeful her mom can talk her dad away from kicking her out. “We Burkharts are so beautiful it’s hard not to be flattered when people pay attention to us. It’s animal magnetism. Sometimes that’s all it is. Right, Jackie?” Jackie nods, afraid to say anything in case it sets her dad off. 
Her dad looks at her for a long moment, puffing on his pipe. “Alright. But if it happens again, I want you out of this house. No inheritance, nothing. Understand?” 
“I understand,” answers Jackie, voice hoarse. 
“Good.” 
Her dad walks off, probably to his office, and Jackie lets out a breath. It’s just her and her mom alone in the living room. 
“Honey, I know it’s hard right now, but I’ll cover for you as long as I can. Your father, he’s-” Her mom purses her lips together. “He doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a young girl in the world. Why when I was your age I kissed boys and girls. We Owens women have always done what we liked regardless of public opinion.”
“Mom, do you still love me?”
“Of course I do.” Her mom hugs her, resting her cheek on top of Jackie’s head. 
“You know, when you were a baby I used to smell your head.” Her mom laughs at the grossed out sound Jackie makes. “It was so comforting, I couldn’t get enough.” 
notes:
- i'm not character assassinating donna, i promise. donna is also struggling with her sexuality and is freaking out. plus it's something that's likely would happen in canon as well. she's gonna come around.
- jackie's grandmother is a cousin of the aunts in practical magic. hopefully we'll see her at some point, whether it's in a flashback or if pam and jackie visit her during the summer in present day.
- i haven't figured out when exactly eric and donna break up. i don't know if jackie has broken up with kelso yet, but i think it's coming. then you'll probably have to deal with jackie/hyde for a while. sorry. if it's any consolation you'll get fez/kelso for the long run.
3 notes · View notes
moonlit-flowerfield · 2 years
Text
So uh
I woke up crying this morning
And drew what I would assume falls under the category of "vent comic/vent art"
This is 100% going to be upsetting.
And normally I'd post this to my vent blog, but if for some reason this blows up big, I'd rather it not be on the blog of my darkest moments written for the world to see.
Under the Read More will be the comic and explanation.
CW for under cut: Trauma talk, sexual assault talk, death, mental abuse, religious trauma, and suicidal thoughts.
Please DON'T read if you aren't going to be able to handle. Don't just click to see the art.
I'm gonna preface this with I am a mental abuse victim (I have no viable option of escape currently but I'm still looking) who also suffers normal anxiety. Early in Summer of 2022, I lost my emotional support animal, who was one of the only things keeping me alive (depressing, I know).
For the first 20 years of my life (I'm 21 during the year of 2022, turning 22 in Jan 2023), my narcissistic father ruined my life, along side bullies. I cannot remember my elementary school years really. I have vague good moments, but I can't remember anything else. I vaguely remember middle school, but only because it was an arts middle school, so I had a lot of fun in the non-academic classes and I met my #1 favourite teacher there. High school, I hardly remember my freshman year and I wish I could forget the others because of the trauma I had. I graduated on my 20th birthday, in a house that wasn't my family's that we got kicked out of because my dad.
He lost his job because of a foot injury that required 2 surgeries. He broke his foot and ultimately lost workman's comp for it since they deemed it to be purely the fact that he had a high arch. He, for around 5 years now, claimed (and is still claiming) that he looked for a job. He was not. He was to high and mighty to go get a job a Burger King or Kwik Trip. These past 2 years, he's been taking care of his mom (88 or something, one lung, on oxygen and almost literally just skin and bones). For a while, he was alone with her, so it was a little more understandable why he wasn't looking.
My mom and I went to Arizona because my other Nana was there. We helped out. My own step-grandpa (my mom's stepdad) sexually assaulted me. My nana, upon hearing this, confronted him and came back saying "well he wasn't drunk, so..." I was told to go with her and my mom out everywhere.
I would have been fine with this if it didn't include church. My dad, when I was like 7, made my cry in front of LDS missionaries because I didn't have a 'good enough reason" to be baptized into the church. Despite saying that's where I felt safe and where I felt the spirit (whatever spirit I felt left me alone after that). I refused to go to any church events if I could help it. (One Christmas, I felt sick, so I said I wasn't going to church and my dad threatened to give my Christmas presents away if I didn't go. Because I felt like I was going to throw up.)
I went once, stayed in flight/freeze mode the whole time, even getting to the point of asking my brother to look up things on a phone call to try and figure out the fucking wifi password so I could connect to my rocks. Needless to say, I didn't calm from my panic until about an hour after getting home. The next week, I said I wouldn't go, and I'd stay hidden in the bedroom. My nana told me (after a while of explaining why I wouldn't go) "if something happens, it's your fault then."
My mental state deteriorated harshly. I was using dating apps to get out of the house, hoping I'd find a rescue. Turns out one I thought was a rescue was just a different cage. He love bombed me (using presents, affection and other forms of romantic language to make you stay and gain control), and when I need space to think, bombarded my mom and I with calls. It wasn't pretty.
My mom told me after I blocked him on my things that he was also trying to tell her how to talk to me (big red flag, bitch). I won't say much else.
My cat passed away after that. He fought 1 full day for staying alive in pain, unable to breath and move. We took him to a vet to put him down. With the first sedative, he was gone. He didn't even have any bodily fluids to get out. I was broken.
Through this time, I had a few friends helping me. Waba, Bennie, Ami, Cat... But it still felt like I shouldn't be alive. Because all I did was bother and drop bombs of emotions on people.
I wrote a fic, sometime around this time, about wanting to jump and drown in a lake, but being talked out of it. I used the Sanders Sides characters Patton and Janus to represent me and Ami - my saving grace that night.
Then, in August 2022, I moved to Boston. Well, close to Boston, anyway. I'm living with my deadbeat narcissist father, my mom, and my dad's mom.
It's torture. I'm practically trapped inside because my nana worries so much, I have no friends locally that I haven't met online through Bumble (and that is still a meager 1 person who has to come from Salem to my place), I can't seem to get a job for many reasons. The biggest and worst thing is I can't own a pet because we can't afford it. And I really need a service dog, if I'm honest.
I feel lost, broken, numb, alone, among other even more depressing thoughts. I can't count how many times I've wanted the "courage" to grab a knife and end it all.
Over all? I just don't see the point. Unless you have a claim to fame, money, or a chance higher than the international average at either - you basically don't matter to society other than to be a stepping stone for those who do. And your chances decrease about 50% if you aren't what society wants. A queer autistic agender person who has a rather long list of mental disorders and an even longer list of possible physical issues? If I can get to a point where I can even remember to stream on my schedule for a week, I'd be lucky. And that's when I have a place to stream.
I woke up in tears because the one thing in my life that really helped me find a light died and I can't even go visit his grave because he's buried somewhere in the Arizonan desert.
I can't take it.
I just. Can't. Do things. Anymore.
Tumblr media
I'm not okay and I can't find the strength to change that.
0 notes
xpeachesncream · 3 years
Text
how many drinks? | one shot (jjk)
Tumblr media
summary: the question is - how many drinks would it take for you to sleep with your bestfriend?
pairing: jjk x reader
genre: (18+) college au, dance group au, bestfriends/bestfriends with some benefits au | fluff, smut, sprinkle of angst
words: ~12.2k
warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, kind of crack-y, dancer!jk to fulfill my needs, unprotected sex, sprinkle of dirty talk, fingering, sprinkle of a handjob, slight biting, nails digging into skin, oc almost gets taken advantage of/forced into doing things she doesn’t wanna do, rough handling, song kang is in this too because i’m also a hooch for him but he’s an ass here, alcohol consumption, intoxication, mentions of blunts/smoking, house parties, cuddling, kissing/makeout sessions, straddling, breast/nipple play, hickeys, fucking on the edge of the bed, multiple orgasms, fingering, licking/neck kisses, oral (f. receiving)
note: one shot title is taken from miguel's song ‘how many drinks’ + a couple of things--
both hoseok and jimin’s piece mentioned below are inspired by real-life pieces my old dance mentor has choreographed and taught. this is the inspiration behind hoseok’s couple piece; this is the inspiration for jimin’s piece
i’m a hooch for all three of them in this video
enjoy imagining koo and oc dancing part of their couples piece like this 🥺
Tumblr media
"Y/N." You picked up Jungkook's call as you sat at your desk in your dorm room. You had been finishing up your bio homework until the interruption came blaring through on your headphones.
"Yes?"
"Can I nap in your room?"
"The fuck I look like? A hotel?" You snorted.
"Yeah, a 5 star at that with how good you take care of me." He tries to butter you up, causing you to roll your eyes.
"You're lucky I like you."
"Yesssssssss!" You hear him faintly exclaim on the other line. "Be there in a sec."
"You know my doors are always unlocked." Which, it was true. So many of your friends had decided to live off campus that you and your other bestfriend [and beloved suitemate] were probably the only few left on campus. And that meant people were constantly in your room, hanging out or using both of your rooms, [with permission] or the couches in the shared living room space of your suite as a place to nap. College, amirite? Why the fuck would you lose your parking spot to go back to your apartment when you have friends who lived right on campus? You weren't just good for smuggling free food from the cafeteria to your broke ass, struggling off-campus friends.
Sooner or later, you're greeted by a fluffy, black-haired Jungkook, looking like his shit must have air-dried with how wavy and voluminous it was. He swings your door open so aggressively that you jump a bit in your seat, swinging off your headphones like you weren't even expecting him. You watch as he flings himself onto your neatly made bed like he hasn't felt a bed in years.
"Ugh, yes." He moans as he belly flops onto your bed and stays in that position.
"When's your next class, you little baby?"
"In like an hour or so, I don't know." He says sleepily. "Wake me up, please?"
"Sure." You realize it's Wednesday, and he definitely has Ecology lab later at 3:00PM. You figured you'd wake him up by 2:30 just to give him enough time to groggily walk his ass back over to the science building.
You and Jungkook weren't really close before college. It was moreso that you knew of each other since high school because of mutual friends. You'd see him at parties and he'd see you, but it was never more than the casual hi and bye and small talk. Maybe the occasional comments on facebook pages and the likes on pictures on instagram. But foreel, other than that, that's as real as your friendship got for awhile. You didn't mind it though, you were good with your set of friends and he was good with his. A lot of your friends attended the same university as you two and then your groups intertwined even more. 
But, it wasn't until the past couple of months or so where you both unexpectedly got really close - simply just by talking more and being around each other more. You both had similar interests and Jungkook wasn't the most vocal in his group, but with you, he seemed to talk endlessly. He loved comics and he loved raving to you about Marvel and DC superheroes. He loved to draw, and he'd draw you things every now and then - his most recent being you as a scientist superhero saving the world from overgrown malaria-infected mosquito monsters. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you tacked it against your cork board near your desk. Then, small things like that turned to bringing you food or boba, being stuck at the hip where he'd only go to a certain place on campus if you were there; texting each other inside jokes and funny ass tweets all day turned to facetime sleepover calls and then late hangouts eventually turned to actual sleepovers in your bed, where he'd drape his arm around while you both slept but it never escalated into anything more than that in bed. Although he did fucking hate your medium-sized Olaf plushie that took shelter on your bed - he'd always hike it across the room and talk about how annoying he is and how he's always taking his spot. You never understood it, really.
And then soon, it turned to small displays of affection behind closed doors, where Jungkook would hold you close. Hold your hand if you two were in the room watching a show, or movie. Small kisses exchanged. Big kisses exchanged, making out sessions. But, that was literally it. Nothing else. No sex. No pressure. Lots of unspoken feelings, obviously, but you weren't gonna be the one to bring that up. Because you were comfortable, and if anything, you didn't wanna ruin what you guys already had going.
Like, is this a friends with benefits thing? Maybe? Maybe not? It was hard to label it because it's not like you both determined so, it kind of just fell together that way. And there was really no pressure to fuck every single time you got affectionate. It was cute, sweet. And no one really knew it was like that behind doors - possibly your suitemate Kass and her boyfriend, Jimin, but that's only because you shared the dorm suite with her. Jimin was also one of Jungkook's roommates and his really good friend, so whenever they had slept over on the same night, it was pure and utter chaos. But honestly, if Kass and Jimin hadn't been around you two much, they most certainly wouldn't have the idea.
Whatever it was, it was a comfortable closeness that you both experienced and appreciated. However, the both of you were afraid of discussing what this really was, afraid it'll ruin the dynamic. The atmosphere. Having to come to terms of what it might, or might not be. Neither of you can fully admit that you like the other. Although, it got hard. People did lightly tease you two because you both always looked for each other and were stuck by the hip out on campus.
Oh, well. Bottom line is that you liked your relationship where it was at, but it doesn't mean you haven't thought about the what if's. Jungkook was insanely attractive, and it's no lie that girls swarmed him left and right on campus, but he didn't give a shit [either he didn't give a shit or he was dumb as hell?]. Okay, rewind — to be fair, he would have a fling or two, flirt once or twice. He'd tell you so and so was cute and that they've hung out or texted, but that's it. He just wasn't necessarily looking for anything cause he too enjoyed where he was at with everything.
It doesn't take long before Sleeping Beauty is snoring face down on your bed, looking like Patrick Star with the way he's sprawled out. But, you continue to do your work until it was time to wake him. You gently shake him, his puppy eyes looking back at you after being face down all nap.
"Class time."
"No." He groans. "Can't I just stay here with you?"
"No, dude. Get to class." You chuckle. "You already skipped last week."
"Yeah, but this is a new week Y/N."
"Jungkook." You almost say in a scolding manner.
"Fiiiiiiine." He whines as he shoots up and hops off from your bed. "Are you going to our party on Friday?"
"I said I'd think about it right?"
"Yeah, like on Monday. It's Wednesday."
"And I'm still thinking about it." You snort, making him pout.
"Just come for a little bit."
"Why? You know parties aren't my thing and you'll be too drunk anyways. I'll end up wanting to go right the fuck back home as soon as I step outside."
"I'd like to be drunk and have you there. It'll be more fun!" He pouts as he holds your hand and swings it back and forth.
"I mean, to be completely honest, I'll probably end up going because of Kass anyways."
"Because of Kass." He rolls his eyes. "Oooookay. Not because of you, Jungkook, no." He says sarcastically, brows furrowed.
"Ew. You're such a fucking whiner. Leave." You laugh, throwing an empty water bottle at him.
"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Wanna grab dinner with me after practice?"
"Sure. If you pay." He groans
"Fine. I'll see you later." He puckers up his lips to blow you a kiss, which you automatically reject by giving him a look before turning your attention back to your homework. You were hoping he'd offer to go to In-n-Out because you were craving that #2 with animal fries and a neapolitan shake, plus there was a Target in the same plaza that you wanted to drag him to for new pens and clearance sale shopping. And you wouldn't even warn him about it. He would tag along, no question.
Tumblr media
Hoseok stands in front of the mirrors in the studio, pacing back and forth as your dance group learned a couple of 8-counts from this new piece he had been brewing up. Apparently, it was supposed to be a couples piece but he wasn't sure if he was going to keep it that way. He watched to see if this would be better as a group, or if he should stick to his original plans.
Your college dance group was a small group formed by people with pure, genuine interest and love for modern hip hop choreography. Hoseok was the dance lead, with Jimin being the back up lead. The group came together, taught each other pieces, taught workshops for those interested on campus and performed at the various talent shows and productions the school had throughout the year. It was just your group's way of showcasing your talents, something you all purely enjoyed, and it was nice to see the love and support given by the audiences.
"Okay, run that from the top one more time please. We'll take break after, swear." Hoseok chuckles and gives Jimin the cue to start the song back at the starting point. Jungkook makes a funny face at you as he huffs and puffs, trying to catch his breath from the last time you went through the counts.
"Ew." You giggle, slightly pushing him aside. Miguel's How Many Drinks begins to blast through the studio speakers, Jungkook doing his best to sing along and match his tone all while focusing on his steps. Once you're done going through the counts, the music continues to play, Jungkook twirling over to you just to sing—
"Cause I ain't leavin' aloneeee, I feel like I could be honest, babe." He spins to your other side. "We both know that we're grown, that's why I wanna knooooow - how many drinks will it take you to leave with meeeeEEeeeE?"
"You can give me all the drinks in the world and I swear I still wouldn't." You snort, making him frown and click his teeth.
"Too bad that's not really how you act when I ask to sleep over, though." Silence as you stick your tongue out at him. Cause, yeah. You really do tell him to sleep over without hesitation. You loved his company, you can’t lie. "Yeah, fraudulent as hell. I never taught you that." He jokes.
"Shut up, Jungkook—"
"Okay!" Hoseok says, clapping his hands. "This'll be a couple piece. I honestly think it'll work better that way, just like I envisioned it. I'll work with the couple to clean this up before the performance, but to whoever isn't casted for this, Jimin still has a piece to teach the rest of you, so don't feel discouraged!" Hoseok chuckles a bit, giving the rest of the group a small smile. "So with that being said - Y/N, Jungkook, I want you two to do this piece."
"Ouuuuuuuu." Jimin teases you from the sidelines, causing you to put up your middle finger.
"We won’t let you down, cap." Jungkook swings his arm around you.
"I'll teach you the rest of the piece next practice so we can start polishing it up and making it clean before the talent show."
"Sounds good with me." You flatly say, even though 100%, you're pretty excited for many reasons. One, you had been wanting to do a solo or couples piece for awhile, and two, your partner was Jungkook. Your best friend, your ride or die, the dude you've spent so much time with and gave your affection to behind closed doors. It made you giddy just thinking about it, even if you'd blatantly lie to his face later on when he'd tease you. And Jungkook felt the same. You missed the way he subtly bit on his bottom lip when you were named his partner, just so he wouldn't smile too big in front of you.
After practice, you egg him on enough to agree to take you to In-N-Out, without hinting at the plan you had drafted out in your head earlier.  The plan that says you're gonna drag his ass to Target afterwards and he had no choice but to come along.
"Y/N, you liar." He groans. "You said you weren't gonna go to Target." He pouts as you follows behind you anyway.
"Kook, I literally just need to get one thing."
"What's the one thing that you couldn't get on your own time?"
"I don't know, I'll have to find out when we get in there." You giggled, causing him to groan again. "Plus, we're here already. Killing two birds with one stone."
"Ah shit, I suppose I can get some bottles for the party."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook, aheh." He mocks your tone and does that really weird and ugly ass laugh that dudes always do when they try to mock girls, however, you ignore it because you've just stepped into Target and bitch, this was Disneyland to you. Heaven. Paradise.
"Hm, what are we drinking on Friday?" He says his text outloud as he follows you around the dollar section where you begin to pick up really unnecessary items that you're probably just gonna store away in or around your desk somewhere.
"Should be holy water because you all need it."
"Mmm, I don't know, I don't think they have that but we can check." He responds ever so seriously, causing you to chuckle.
"How many people are you expecting?"
"Honestly, I don't even know. We said we'd keep it to close friends only. I don't really have any friends, so that's all on them."
"Ah, makes sense as to how the entire class was invited." You fire back sarcastically. "Your upstairs neighbors are really gonna have a blast."
"They're invited too."
"You guys are so dumb." He laughs when you hit him against the chest. After walking a bit, the two of you head towards the alcohol aisle, Jungkook grabbing what his arms will allow him to grab since alcohol is a little cheaper here than other grocery stores. "Isn't there a limit as to how much alcohol you can buy?"
"I don't see anything anywhere." He hauls about 4 big bottles back to the cashiers. "Besides, I'm giving them business compared to Safeway and those other grocery stores."
"Grab the coupon at least, genuis. It could save you some money." You take off the coupons from the three bottles.
He looks down at the coupon attached to the 4th bottle. "Sign up today and get 2% cash back on every bottle you buy." He snorts after reading the coupon outloud. "More like sign up today and get 2% cash back turnt." He looks at you. "This doesn't sound like a coupon, miss. Where's the ‘get 5 dollars off’ bullshit?"
"2% cash back turnt? Really?" You furrow your brows at him and hand the coupons to the cashier. "Here. God, maybe you shouldn't be hosting parties with your roommates."
"Maybe not." He holds his bags, even grabbing onto yours as you both walk out to his car. He turns up the radio, the both of you singing along to the songs coming through. When he pulls up to the lot of Edgehill Village, he parks in someone else's marked spot only because it's technically next to your door and he doesn't anticipate to stay long. But honestly, that never goes as planned. He grabs your bag from the trunk, silently following behind you as you unlock your door to an empty suite - just as you expected. Kass was most likely at Jungkook’s, spending the night with Jimin, and you'd be alone for the night. It didn't matter to you though, the peace and quiet was always nice.
"You sure you're gonna be okay here alone?" You nod.
"Yup. It's kind of nice actually." You lean forward onto your bed since it's raised a little higher than usual with bed risers, and open up your laptop. Jungkook sets your Target bag down and wraps his arms around you from behind, planting a kiss on your cheek and on your jawline.
"You sure you don't want me to sleep over? Cuddles sound nice."
"It sounds like you want to."
"Only if you want me to." He nuzzles his head against your neck, waiting for your response.
"Kook, please." You chuckle. "If you wanna sleepover, then go ahead."
"Yesssss! I do."
"Well you need to find parking, or else the person that owns that parking spot will be highly upset."
"You got it, captain. Pull up a movie!" He says, dashing out of your room to move his car. He's most likely going to come back in another 5 minutes, being that the only free parking at this time of night is probably on the other end in the gym's lot, or somewhere on the streets [if he got lucky].
And so that 5 minutes sure does go by before Jungkook is breathing heavily when he walks into your room, duffle bag swung over his shoulder with a big, dorky ass smile on his face.
"I'm back!"
"I see." You snort, still going through the movies.
"Hey, let's run through what Hobi taught us first."
"Ugh, I'm so tired though."
"Cooooome on, just once." He pulls you by the hand, his body pressed against yours as his his other arm wraps around your waist. "Please." His puppy dog eyes look down at you, causing you to push him away because fucking hell, that shit makes you weak. Makes the pussy throb just a lil, you know? Christ.
"Only if you watch 10 Things I Hate About You."
"Sure, I don't mind." He pulls up the song on your laptop. The both of you face the mirror in front of you, careful not to hit each other since you had such limited space to fully move around. Running through it once was a full blown lie, being that you both are doing it for almost 5-6 times before you're laughing at how out of breath you already are. You're so out of it and winded by the last time around that you accidentally hit Jungkook in the face, causing him to whine and stumble off to the side.
"Oh shit!" You laugh. "I'm so sorry, Kookie!" You run over to cup his face. "Are you okay? You good?"
"Shit, Y/N. You have a heavy hand." He keeps his hand against his cheek.
"I'm sorry." You lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek, but Jungkook being Jungkook, he looks to the side to have his lips meet yours instead. He picks you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around his torso as he sits you on your bed, your hands still cupping his face. And honestly, you really wanted him. You've always wanted him since this whole thing started. God, he was attractive to you - every little thing about Jungkook was a fucking weakness, but you weren't gonna let up first. Not tonight. The scar on his cheek, his soft, fluffy hair, his toned body, his muscular ass arms, the way he held onto you when you both slept, the way he kissed you.
Lord, he was truly going to be the death of you.
Before the kiss could get any deeper, you smile into it and back away, keeping your gaze on the small, dazed smile Jungkook has on his face.
"Can we watch now?" You ask, subtly biting onto your bottom lip.
"Yeah, good idea."
"Actually, after all that, I need to shower first."
"Can I join?" His eyes light up.
"Sit your ass down. You can go after." You laugh as you hop off the bed, grabbing your pajamas for a quick shower. You literally take 10 minutes, walking back into your room with wet hair and an oversized shirt and shorts underneath. Although you had been completely comfortable with Jungkook, the both of you have never really seen each other fully naked like that. Whenever he slept over, you were both always fully clothed. You've seen him hop out of the shower and come in shirtless, but that's probably about it. You start to brush your teeth as he rummages through his emergency duffle bag full of shit that he holds in the trunk of his car, grabbing a fresh pair of clothes to change into after his shower. You already know his ass is gonna use your shampoo for everything because he loves the smell of it and always talks about how good your hair smells.
While waiting for him, you slip yourself under your covers and pull the laptop closer to you, scrolling through your phone aimlessly to see what's new on instagram. Which, is absolutely nothing, so you let out a dissatisfied sigh.
"Ready!" He comes in, tossing his towel aside and shutting off the lights to crawl into your bed with you.
"You smell just like me." You chuckle.
"It's great, isn't it?"
"Your hair isn't bothering you?" You run your hand through his incredibly wet hair as he shakes his head.
"No, I'll be good."
"Okay." He wraps his arm around you to pull you onto his body, the movie already off to a start. As the movie goes on, you find yourself getting sleep as both of your bodies sink deeper into the sheets, Jungkook still not letting you go. The laptop rests on his belly, while your head is on his chest, his heartbeat the one thing putting you to sleep pretty quickly. He's comfortable, just as you are. He's warm, you're warm. He's content, you're content. You drift off to sleep while he continues to watch, knowing your bodies will be pressed tightly against each other in the morning.
Tumblr media
"Kook there's so many fucking people here. The cops are gonna come and shut this down quick." Jungkook shrugs.
"Oh well, wasn't my idea." He snorts. "Shot?!" He hands you a shot that you take with ease, feeling like you aren't drunk enough for all this shit and all these people. "Atta girl."
"Yuck, though." You slightly make a sour face as you feel the warmth trickle down your throat and into your stomach.
"Heeeey, whyyyyy do you look so FaMiliaR?" This girl asks Jungkook in a weird, flirty tone, where every other consonant goes up and down. She's obviously really fucking drunk and out of her mind because for one, she definitely goes to the same school as you two, and she has definitely been in class with Jungkook before.
"Oh uh, my name's Justin Bieber. I used to sing from time to time." He says nonchalantly with you furrowing your forehead at him because what kind of response did he just give her?! What did he just tell her? You're so embarrassed that you slowly turn on your heel and walk out of the kitchen as you hear him sing One Less Lonely Girl hella out of tune, with the girl completely smitten over his drunk ass.
"Where's Jungkookie?" Kass asks as she sits on Jimin's lap.
"Over there, pretending to be Justin Bieber apparently."
"Oh, nice. You don't come across that often." Jimin says sarcastically. "Are you staying here tonight?"
"Yeah, stay here tonight, with Kookie." Kass wiggles her eyebrows, her cheek resting on top of Jimin's head. "It's not like that's anything new."
"Um, I'd rather much be back in the dorm."
"That cold, lonely place? When you could be here, in such a pretty apartment with such a pretty boy?" You shake your head at her.
"Unbelievable." You mutter. Suddenly, an incredibly tall man walks into the apartment, reaching about 6'1 and almost hitting the ceiling with his tall ass. You've never seen him before, but he walks in with Hoseok and Namjoon and for whatever reason, you can't peel your eyes off of him. "Woah, who's that?"
"Who's what?" Jungkook finally comes to your side after being Justin Bieber for a good minute or so, his eyes following yours. Who was he and why were you looking at him so intensely?
"That's Kang! You've never met him?" Jimin says, doing a slight nod to greet him as he passes by. Kang and his fine self looks up at you, a small smirk creeping up at the corner of his lips as he continues through to the kitchen behind Hoseok and Namjoon. "He's a transfer and on the basketball team."
"He's fiiiiine." You and Kass swoon over him a bit, Jungkook giving you a look.
"He's alriiiight. I've seen better."
"Shut up, no one asked you." You lightly punch him on the side, making him lightly groan while Jimin and Kass laugh. The rest of the party, you suddenly have a goal to find out more about Kang and see what he's about because you and Jungkook weren't official. You both didn't really know what this was, but one thing you knew for sure was that it wasn't anything exclusive. You wouldn't bring it up, so wouldn't Jungkook - so was this really something all that meaningful?
Whatever, you didn't wanna keep going in circles about it.
Jungkook fucking hates it though, and he's honestly really jealous that you're suddenly trying to be all cute and woo the new, tall, handsome [but he's not really that fucking handsome to Jungkook for christ's sake] basketball player. Jungkook almost wants to mock his every move and how suavé he is, almost looking like a try hard with the way he's leaning against the wall and talking to you.
Wait— he's talking to you?! You were literally right next to him 2 seconds ago.
"What the fuck?" He squints, trying to make sure he's actually looking at you.
"You're so full of shit." Jimin laughs.
"What are you talking about?"
"Why don't you just admit that you like her and stop being childish about it?"
"I don't like her. She's just my bestfriend."
"Um, okay?" Jimin snorts. "When you sleep at her place every chance you get and vice versa? When she has a ton of your shirts and hoodies in her own fucking closet? When you always get so affectionate with her in the dorm? Sure, you don't like her."
"How do you know that?"
"I just do, you've done it in front of me and Kass before but you both tried playing it off. I don't understand you two."
"Well, I don't like her. She obviously doesn't either with the way she's trying to be all up on him." Jungkook glares at you, his teeth biting the rim of the cup harshly as he brings it to his lips to take a sip.
"Whatever, I'm just saying dude. Probably better to be straight up about it than not."
"Kaaaaaaay." Jungkook responds sarcastically, trying to play off how butthurt he was right now. Cause yeah, he did fucking like you. He was just scared to admit it though because of reasons like this - the fact that you possibly didn't like him back killed him. The fact that you could possibly be using him to feel wanted, needed. It made his stomach turn.
He just really liked you, and god, did he want to be the one in your bed tonight. Whether or not that ended up in sex, whatever. He just wanted to be the one to touch you, be on you.
Meanwhile, Kang was attractive as hell and ouwee, were you feeling him tonight. You were, you really were - except, you could literally feel the holes Jungkook was burning through you from across the room. You'd occasionally glance over due to how distracting it was, Jungkook literally have no shame with eyeing you, almost glaring at you, from across the apartment.
"Is it too forward if I ask for your number already?" Kang licks his lips, his teeth lightly piercing his bottom lip as he looks down at you.
"No." You smirk at him, taking his phone to put your number in.
"We should kick it soon. I'd love to hang out with you and get to know you better."
"Yeah, just let me know when." You blush, until you're suddenly pulled out of your daze by a loud 'ahem,' the loudest throat-clearing you have ever heard in your life. You turn to see Jungkook making his way back over to the shots, knowing damn well he's calling you over. "See you around?" Kang winks before he tips his cup to you and gives you a single nod.
"Sure thing, cutiepie." You bite onto your bottom lip, making your way over to Jungkook at the shot station, instantly pinching his arm.
"What the fuck?"
"Nobody was calling you over." Jungkook smirks.
"Shut the fuck up, yes you were. I know that was you clearing your throat like that."
"I'm sorry, does it bother you?" He blinks cutely, tilting his head to the side. "Besides, why come over here when you're too busy with your man?"
"Are you jealous?"
"Why in the hell would I be jealous, Y/N? Do you." The words sting you, even though part of you still wants to believe that Jungkook may actually like you. All you can do is sigh and brush it off, placing your cup down in front of him as he pours himself another shot. "You sure?"
"Just give me the damn shot." You say, making it your 7th.
And the 7th turns into 8, 8 turns into 9, 9 turns into 10. And at 10, you're pretty fucking drunk even as the party is starting to die down by the time it's close to 2am. All 10 were a good combination of shots and mixed drinks.
10 drinks.
10 drinks is what it took for you to lay in Jungkook's bed at the end of the night, hands tangled in his fluffy hair as your makeout session intensifies by the minute - all due to this sexual tension, frustration, whatever the hell it was brewing between you two after all this time. The both of you are drunk as hell, and it's pretty evident with the way you can still taste the alcohol on his tongue, both sloppily touching up on each other, kisses getting wetter, clothes coming off like there's no tomorrow.
"Wait, are you sure?" Jungkook says, about to unhook your bra.
"Jungkook, god, just fuck me." You plead drunkily, the room spinning around you. He continues to unhook your bra, tossing it across the room where your other clothes lay, peppering kisses along your neck before licking up a stripe to meet your lips again. He hooks his fingers across the band of your panties, tugging them down and letting them get lost within his sheets. You take this as leverage to tug his boxer briefs down, already stroking his hardened member the moment you come into contact with it. The sad thing is that you both are so fucking drunk, you can't even appreciate the fact that you both are naked in front of each other for the first time ever.
You can't even come to terms with the fact that you both are about to fuck each other and cross that boundary completely.
But, hell, what do you care? You were drunk. You got a cute guy's number. You're getting dick at the end of the night.
"Oh shit, Y/N." He moans into your mouth as he feels you stroking him. "Need to feel you." He quickly runs his finger down your fold, slipping in two digits to pump them in and out, quickly prepping you for his dick.
"Hnnng--Kook." You bite onto your bottom lip as your eyes shut close momentarily, your head digging deeper into the pillow the more he tries to stretch you out. "Want you inside of me."
"I got you." He says. You almost whine at the loss of contact until you feel his tip poking at your entrance. He slowly continues to slip himself inside of you, Kook letting out a small groan while your mouth was left open, a soundless moan releasing before you hiss and take in all of him. He fills you up so well, so completely. He was so big that you felt full, bloated, with him being inside of you the way he was.
"Ohhhhhgod." You whimper as he starts to steady his pace, the lewd noises of his cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy filling his room - god forbid if Jimin or their other roommate Yoongi heard this right now. It would be nothing short of pornographic.
"You're so wet. Is that all for me?" He says, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head as he begins to aggressively thrust into you.
"Y-yes." You whine.
"Say it again."
"All for you, Kook."
"I fucking thought so." He drunkily responds as one hand grips onto your hips tightly, the other in your hair as he digs his head back into the crook of your neck, his tongue messily licking near your jaw before he nibbles onto your earlobe.
"Hmmmmgggh, Jungkook. Fuck." You moan as you start to work your hips upward into his, your clit rubbing against his pelvis, causing the pleasure to pool quickly within the pit of your stomach. It causes goosebumps to pierce through the surface of your skin, your hands gripping tighter on his hair. "You're-you're gonna make me cum. Faster." You plead. He does just so, hammering into you, the sound of his hips slamming into yours bouncing off of the walls.
"Ahhh—Y/N." He groans.
"Just like that, just like that, just like that!" You repeat, your clit feeling incredibly stimulated by the way it rubs against his skin while he fucks into you. "Oh shit! Jungkook!" You moan loudly, biting his shoulder as you feel yourself trembling hard in his grip, your orgasm taking over your entire body.
"Shit, shit, shit—Y/N, Shiiiit." He says into your neck, followed by more curses and groans as you feel him coat your walls warmly. He stays inside of you until the both of you come back down to normalcy, your breathing becoming more regulated. He slowly slips himself out, plopping next to you on the bed, but doesn't welcome you into his arms.
The night goes on, the both of you sleeping on your own sides of Jungkook's bed, not really saying a word to each other. Because the both of you, although still pretty drunk, are more aware by the time it's over and it's become so clear how fucked up this got.
Tumblr media
You were hurt. Completely hurt. Because you didn't expect Jungkook to just fucking ghost you after that night. You wanted to talk about it, maybe come to the conclusion that you two should just distance yourselves from each other to figure this out, even if it would hurt you a lot to do so.
No.
That morning, Jimin and Kass had to take you back to campus because Jungkook had darted out of his room, nowhere to be seen until later that night. The next week or so, there were no texts, no calls. No visiting your dorm, no asking to sleepover.
Nothing.
Just radio silence, white noise, if you will.
The one thing he could come up with was a stupid response to your text when you finally caved and asked what you did wrong mid-week.
Something along the lines of 'what do you want me to say, Y/N? do you want me to force myself to feel a certain way?'
Followed by a 'i'm sorry, fuck. that came out really wrong' even though you thought it came out perfectly fine. You understood loud and clear.
Even though this wasn't really an exclusive thing, or even a 'thing' if we wanna be straight up, you still couldn't help but feel like Jungkook had just dumped your ass with no explanation and you were still waiting for that explanation to come, whether it would or not. And because of this, you started to see Kang, hangout with him more often. He even took you out on a dinner date and you really enjoyed his company. He seemed genuine, caring, supportive - even if a lot of the basketball boys were the complete opposite. He was different, you liked to think.
And so you stand in front of the mirrors in the dance studio, you and Jungkook awkwardly running through the piece with Hoseok watching, confused as to why all of a sudden the two of you have this weird tension going on. It hasn't entirely ruined the couple piece, but it hasn't brought it together, either. The both of you could barely look at each other, barely get into the movements, the emotions behind the motions. Hoseok had to correct a few things, his 'pah pah pah's' echoing in the room constantly with how many times you and Jungkook had to be set straight for your sloppy steps today.
"Okay, I'm not saying it's bad, cause it's not. But can you both please act like you at least like each other or something? What's going on with you two? You aren't normally like this." Hoseok says, coming down to a crouch in front of the mirrors.
"Nothing, we'll do better. Don't worry." You brush off the entire question with your quick response. Jungkook looks at you, his hands on his hips, lightly frowning at how much you're distancing yourself even though he knows its entirely his fault for running from his feelings and not being honest with you.
"Okay, let's do it from the top." The music starts, you getting into the piece without making any eye contact with Jungkook. Even the steps that cause you to be close and near Jungkook, you look anywhere but his eyes, and your touch is light, trying your hardest not to let any feelings pass through the motion. Hoseok is a little more pleased this time around, but it still doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you two take a break while he heads to the other studio to check on Jimin and the rest of the group.
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"Jungkook, you don't get to ask me that." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, not sure if he should continue on or not.
"Y/N—"
"Save it, and let's just get this over with, okay? I don't wanna be here just as much as you." Your words cut him deep because dear, you have gotten him completely misunderstood and yet, he still can't speak. He still can't talk about his feelings. He still can't save this even though he wants to, even though he loathes seeing you the way you are with Kang.
"I never said—"
"Kay, ready? Let's run this full out and make it a good one so we can call it for today." Hoseok says, clapping his hands to hype you two up somehow. The music starts and you're finally able to get into the steps. The emotions. And god, it's only because you're so hurt by your own bestfriend. You're hurt that he fucked you so good, and then dipped. You're hurt that he couldn't even face you the day after. You're hurt that after all this time, he made it seem like you still didn't matter enough - at least enough for an explanation, for some kind of reasoning, conversation, behind what just went down between the both of you. Between what has been going down between the both of you.
Besides the stupid ass responses he gave you through text.
You get so into your feelings that you don't even realize you're tearing up by the time the piece is over, and Jungkook catches it even though you face away from him as soon as the music cuts out.
"Nice, okay! That was so much better! Let's pick it up next session, yeah? We'll keep cleaning it up. Thanks guys!" Hoseok says. You immediately head towards the wall, grabbing your things to avoid any confrontation from Jungkook, but he grabs your arm as soon as you slip through the door.
"Y/N, wait. Stop."
"Let me go." You yank your arm from his grip.
"Why are you crying?" He stops in front of you, his hands placed on your arms to prevent you from moving any further.
"I'm not." You blatantly lie while you aggressively wipe away the stragglers coming down.
"Really? Just gonna lie like that?"
"Why do you care? You haven't said shit to me all week." You snap back, and Jungkook is taken aback from the tone in your voice. You remove his hands from your arms, and take one last look at him before shaking your head and walking off.
Next mistake? He doesn't come after you.
This was a waste of fucking time. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't let you hurt like this.
You let out a deep sigh before clutching onto your things and walking back to your dorm. The walk from the gym/fitness center was damn near on the other end of campus compared to your dorm. It would be a good 10 minute walk if you really took your time. A good 10 minutes to ponder on your thoughts.
Yes, you liked Jungkook. You really liked him. Having sex with him solidified those feelings even more. How could you not have feelings for your bestfriend after all the moments you've shared? Was it your fault for assuming that? Was it your fault for walking through that door when it seemed to be completely open for you?
"Sup." Kang comes out of nowhere, pulling you out of your thoughts. He swings his arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you closer to his body.  "Just got out of practice?"
"Sure did." You give him a toothless smile. Yes, he was attractive as hell. He always will be. But, even with the time you spent together, the date he took you on, he still couldn't make you feel the way Jungkook has been able to make you feel.
"How was it?"
"Um, it was alright. Nothing new really, just cleaning up the piece before the show. You're going right?"
"Why wouldn't I?" He smiles down at you. "Listen, I don't know if you've heard, but there's another party tonight."
"A party? It's Wednesday." You snort.
"Yeah, I mean, one of the boys on the Lacrosse team is throwing it at his family house because his parents will be gone. Wanna come? I'll pick you up. We don't have to stay for long." You looked at your watch.
"What time is it at?"
"Like 9ish?" Enough time for you to shower and get a quick dinner in your belly. Why the hell not? You were caught up for the week. You didn't have any pressing assignments that were due asap.
"Sure. I'll come."
"Cool. See you later then?" He says, about to part ways with you. You simply give him a nod before walking deeper into Edgehill village. You hoped you wouldn't regret this tonight, and you really hoped he meant it when he said you two didn't have to stay for long. You drag yourself into your room, seeing Kass' door wide open, revealing her packing up her duffle bag.
"Hey, where are you headed during the middle of the week?"
"My two classes got cancelled for tomorrow so me and Jiminie are heading out for a mini getaway for our anniversary." You cross your arms and smile. "He's just gonna catch up on shit when we get back I guess." She laughs.
"That sounds cute. I hope you have loads of fun this weekend, babe."
"What are you gonna do?" Kass and Jimin were obviously aware of everything happening between you and Jungkook being that they had to be the ones to take you home. They never pressed on it though, knowing you both were still pretty upset about how things were playing out. They figured you two would eventually work it out, but until then, they would just sit back and keep their mouths shut. You two were being completely stubborn, but it wasn't their relationship to fix.
"Well, there's this party Kang wants to take me to tonight."
"The Lacrosse party? Messy." She laughs. "Be careful, but also have fun, yeah? I still don’t know if I trust him.”
"Yeah I know."
"Tell me how it goes!"
"I will." You wave her off as you head into your room and shut the door. You figured you would just grab dinner on campus to avoid spending more money than you should; after all, dinner seemed to be pretty bomb tonight. You didn't mind going alone, sometimes Namjoon would join you, asking for you to bring him a plate of food while he does the hard job of sneaking inside the cafeteria through the back door. He usually waits for you at a free table and ends up staying there to have dinner with you, updating you on how life has been, how school has been. Sometimes Hoseok would join you, too. Either way, you didn't mind if no one joined. It was nice to have dinner by yourself from time to time.
You get there on time to be able to grab some food, eat quietly and head out before the cafeteria gets way too busy for your liking. You slip into the shower and throw on a mini skirt, a crop top and a denim jacket, lightly fluffing your hair in the mirror and adding a dab of lip gloss to your lips before Kang is calling you to tell you he's outside your dorm. He's wearing something similar to your color palette, however, you don't make much out of it since this also wasn't really an exclusive thing and you sure as hell weren't going around telling people you and Kang had a thing going on.
To him, you two might be a thing. You've definitely overheard people talking about you two in passing.
To you though, you two definitely weren't. And it was a big fuck you to Jungkook for that.
The house is packed from end to end already, and you're surprised being that it has barely hit 10 minutes since the party was expected to take off. Kang is having to park down the hill, allowing you to hop onto his back for a quick piggy back ride up until you reach the front of the house. There's people already fucked up out on the lawn [you figured they fucked themselves over during their pre-game session cause that shit really happens from time to time], either laying there drunkily or yacking on a free patch of grass.
Gross.
Messy, indeed.
Some people are posted, smoking blunts and offering it to people who were passing by. You and Kang both pass up on it, the idea of not knowing where it has been not sitting right with you. You both head straight to the bottles, taking shots and downing mixed drinks to chase it with so that you can catch up with majority of the crowd. Kang has his arm around your shoulder throughout the night, keeping you close to him, even when he's getting pretty drunk. You realize he's a little more handsy than usual, a little more touchy than you expected him to be. It doesn't bother you for a minute, until he really tries to hike up your skirt while you sit on his lap. You gently shoo his hand away, playing it off while he nuzzles his head against your neck.
"Let's go upstairs, babe." He says, the pet name sounding incredibly off coming from him. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you really just weren't in the mood. It just didn't sound cute, if that even makes sense?
"Okay." You respond stupidly, not wanting to cause a scene at a lacrosse party. You intertwine your fingers with his as he leads the way up the stairs, eyeing the doors as they come into view. He leans forward towards each door, making sure it's clear before opening it. You assume he finally finds one that he's satisfied with when you catch the small smirk that grows at the corner of his lips when he turns the door knob and brings you inside. He pulls you into a deep, rough kiss, one that doesn't even allow you to breathe and process what the fuck is even going on. You can't get into it for the life of you, no matter how hard you try to back away. "Wait, wait."
"What's wrong, baby? Isn't this what you wanted?" He says, kissing down your neck as he drops his jacket to the floor. He gently pushes you onto the bed, his hands traveling up your skirt as you lay there trying to push him off.
"Wait, stop." He doesn't listen. He continues until his hands are literally hooking onto your panties, his finger swiping down your clothed folds. You try fighting him off, but he's way stronger than you. He continues to be aggressive, forcefully trying to shove your panties down until you muster up all the energy you have to finally push him off of you completely. "Stop!"
"What the fuck? I thought you wanted this?"
"Who the hell said that?"
"Are you serious? The way that you're dressed and the way that you look at me. The way you approached me at your friend's party - isn't it all because of this? Because you wanted me? Why are you backing out now?"
"Jesus, get over yourself." You stand, fixing your skirt back down. He furrows his brows at you before his hand grips your arm tightly, shoving you against the wall.
"The fuck, you can't just leave without giving me anything. I brought you here to this party."
"Let me go! You're fucking sick. No one even told you I wanted this to go down. I don't know who you think you are, but you need to get yourself together and stop assuming every pussy is yours to take." He attempts to pin you, his hand holding up both of your hands against the wall while the other tries to pull up your skirt. Someone accidentally opens the door, distracting him and giving you leverage to shove him off and get the fuck away. You dart down the steps, fixing your skirt as you head outside and away from the house.
Fuck, you're far from campus. And Kass and Jimin aren't around.
God.
You groan and run your hand through your hair as you continue to walk down the hill and into the neighborhood to get as far away as possible from that house and that gross ass dude. He was literally just like the rest of the basketball team. You've heard stories and they weren't nice. Looks like he was trained well already, and that shit was sad. What a waste. A beautiful human being with such a nasty, sick mindset. You hoped other girls hadn't fallen for his shit.
Ugh, it sends shivers down your spine. Bad shivers.
"Hello? Y/N?"
"Kook, can you come pick me up please?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Where are you?"
"I'll drop my location. Please hurry." You say, looking back to make sure your coast was clear. You drop the pin into your text thread with Jungkook and sit on the curb until his arrival. It's getting pretty chilly out, and the denim jacket you're wearing fails to provide you with the warmth you're looking for. Sooner or later, Jungkook is pulling up, damn near hopping out before he can shift the gear into park.
"You okay? What happened?" He says, opening the door for you before rushing over to the driver's seat.
"Nothing, can we just go back to your place?" He nods silently, and doesn't press any further after hearing your tone. He watches from his peripherals how you fiddle with your fingers and constantly reach to pull your skirt down even though he doesn't think there's any other way you could pull it down even more. He watches as he parks the car on the curb in front of his apartment how you simply undo your seatbelt and hop out to walk straight into his apartment. He watches as you welcome yourself into his closet and pick out some clothes for you to change in.
You were hurt, and his blood boils thinking about who could've done this and what they could have possibly done.
I mean, no. He knows who did this, but the question was what exactly did he try?
He hears the shower turn on, then quickly get turned off after a good 5 minutes. You had stepped in for a quick body shower, using Jungkook's bodywash just to rid yourself of feeling gross. Feeling gross from being shoulder to shoulder all night long, people breathing down your neck. Kang touching you inappropriately. You slip into Jungkook's clothes, his scent wrapping around you entirely. When you head back into the room, Jungkook has his headset back on as he faces his computer, logging back onto his game of League of Legends. You silently toss your dirty clothes to the side of his room, making a mental note to grab it tomorrow morning and toss it straight into the laundry.
Straight into a fire, perhaps. But you loved those clothes so much, it was unfortunate it'd have such a horrible memory to go with it.
Jungkook slowly removes his headset again and removes himself from his game before he heads over and sits on the edge of his bed. You simply look at him, pursing your lips tightly together to prevent yourself from crying.
But he can tell.
"What happened Y/N?" The question triggers you, making you cry into your hands as he sits there, dumbfounded and worried at how he can fix this and make you feel better. "Look, you don't have to tell me all the details but please tell me how I can help. At least tell me if I need to beat Kang's ass." He says, pulling you into his arms.
"He tried to fucking take advantage of me." You mumble as you remove your face from your hands.
"He did what?" He manages to ask even though he has a hard time swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He already assumed you had placed him in the same category as Kang even though he never intended to take advantage of you. He really took that night as something special [even drunk], and he never meant to make you feel like you were a used object. Not like Kang.
"He-he," You sniffed. "He tried to force me into having sex with him. He took me upstairs at that lacrosse guy's party or whoever the hell it even was, and he started to aggressively kiss me. And then he tried to force my panties down and touch me there, and—"
"Okay, please don't go on or else I'll literally go over there and tear his ass apart right now. I promise you." He says sternly, his jaw clenching tightly. "God, fuck. I'm so sorry Y/N. I can't apologize on his behalf but fuck, you didn't deserve that." He uses his sweater to wipe your tears.
"I don't even know why I'm crying, this shit isn't even worth it." You groaned. "It's just overwhelming to process, I guess."
"That's okay." He says, letting out a sigh as he brushes his hand through your hair and continues to wipe the stragglers falling from your eyes. "Anything I can get you right now?"
"No, I'm probably just gonna go to bed." He nods. "Thank you for picking me up."
"Of course. You know I'll always be there." He says. You slip yourself into his sheets, watching as he makes his way back to his desk. But fuck, the only thing you needed right now was him. You didn't want this distance anymore, and you just wanted to be comforted in true Jungkook fashion.
"Wait."
"Hm?" He hums as he has a hand placed on the  head of his chair while he turns to you.
"Can you just lay with me?"
"Yeah." He says, shutting off his computer before making his way over to you in the dark. You feel him slip in next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders so he can pull you close and onto his chest. "Better?"
"Yeah." You say, shutting your eyes as you listen to his heart beat.
"Y/N."
"Yeah?"
"I never meant to take advantage of you, or make you feel like I used you that one night." Silence. "It was dumb of me, but I just— I had trouble coming to terms with my feelings. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, but I thought fuck it, at least you would know, right?"
"What are you talking about, Kook?" You ask, close to a whisper.
"I'm saying that I really fucking like you, Y/N. No, that's not right." He curses himself. "I-I uh, I'm in love with you. And I don't know if I messed this up already with the way I acted, god I hope not, but you at least deserve to know that I truly do value you and that you mean alot to me. That night, even though we were pretty plastered, it meant a lot to me. It was more than just sex and I'm sure you felt that too." He waits for your response as his fingers rake through your hair. "Please say something, anything."
"I feel the same way, Jungkook. You're an idiot for running off, but I couldn't even stay mad at you. You just know how to hit my soft spots and I can never say no to it. Can never turn my back on it." He presses a kiss against the top of your head.
"Fuck, I'm really glad to hear that cause I don't know what I would have done besides cry if you rejected me." You playfully hit his chest.
"You're annoying." You jokingly say as you chuckle.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."
"It's okay." You look up to press your lips against his before laying back down.
"And Kang better be fucking glad you're pressed against my body right now because I'm still looking to beat his ass."
"He's not even worth it." Is the last thing you say before you find yourself drifting into a deep sleep, in the comfort of Jungkook's arms.
Tumblr media
"You two feeling okay? Nervous?" You and Jungkook shake your heads. "Good, you guys got this. You've been looking amazing during practice, the audience will love you two, no doubt. Just remember to show emotions through expressions and hit every beat sharply." Hoseok nods in unison with the both of you.
"Got it, thanks Hobi." You smile at him toothlessly. You and Jungkook patiently waited for your turn backstage, the talent show already off to a wild and fun start. So many students came by to showcase their talents - from beatboxing, open mic, freestyling [like Yoongi did], dancing, singing, you name it. It was always a fun time at the talent show, and it was always nice to see people getting love for the shit they loved to do.
"You're up next." Hoseok says. "I'll be in the front row. Kick ass and have fun!" He says as he rushes off towards the opposite end to head back out to his seat in the theater.
"Ready?" Jungkook holds out his hand for you to take.
"I think so." You playfully respond as the backstage crew is rushing out the previous talent and rushing you two in to take your places on stage. The lights pick up as soon as the music starts, Kang's big ass head already in full view for you. He's definitely not smiling, no, he has a look of pure disgust because he simply couldn't get what he wanted from you.
And boy, who's fault was that? Not yours, no sir. It was his fault for thinking he had it like that.
But anyways, you're feeling the music, you're feeling the piece because you're dancing with your bestfriend and there wasn't this grey area anymore. It was easier to get into the motions, to get into the feeling, especially when things felt right between the two of you.
And God, what else is more attractive than Jeon Jungkook hitting his 8 counts so smoothly, with just enough umph to make it pop but make it pop cleanly.
Yo, please. I beg. Send some help. You could literally melt on stage.
The moments where Jungkook has to be close to you, where he has to touch you - you let him, and you touch him with meaning. You don't stray away this time because you have no reason to. The crowd is cheering, lots of 'ou's' and 'aw's' erupting from various places in the theater.
"Pretty lady." Jungkook whispers in your ear as the move requires his hands to be placed on your hips for a quick moment. You hear him slightly singing along to the song as he parts from you, causing you to blush.
Sooner or later, the couple piece is over and the song is transitioning to Jimin's piece, you and Jungkook rushing off the stage so the next group can take their positions. Jimin wanted to test his limits, creating a piece a little different than his usual taste - Chris Brown's Came to Do begins blaring through the theater speakers. You immediately jump into Jungkook's arms once you both reach backstage, the both of you immensely happy and pumped that you got through the piece without messing up one step or beat. It went so smoothly that Hoseok was standing in the front row, clapping and cheering in typical Hoseok fashion. You intertwine your fingers with his, slipping through the side door to catch Jimin's piece on stage. You and Jungkook are cheering them on, always impressed by the shit your friends can come up with. You both loved dancing, but you couldn't even imagine coming up with your own pieces to teach people.
That night after the show, everyone heads to a nearby restaurant for dinner with everyone. You all take up almost an entire section of the restaurant, splitting two long tables to accommodate the entire group with doubled the waitresses to take your orders. You settle for water, splitting an abnormally huge and filled deep dish pizza with Jimin, Kass and Jungkook. It was a good day, a good night, everyone at the table happily eating and chatting it up over dinner. You turn down any drinks because to be honest, drinks lowkey make you queasy just from the thought of how much you drank at Jungkook's apartment, plus the added bonus of that party Kang took you to. Jungkook declines as well, knowing he has to drive you back safely.
Jimin and Kass head back to the apartment because Yoongi says he's gonna hang out with Joon And Hoseok for a bit, and they warn you and Jungkook that things may get loud so the both of you decide to really stick to the plan of bringing you back to the dorm. Jungkook does his usual routine of dropping you off first before finding parking around campus. You hop in the shower and come out in Jungkook's oversized crewneck that he left in your closet, forgoing the shorts because you certainly thing that at this point, he'd love to see you in his sweater and panties.
And he does. He smiles as he pulls you close, his hands traveling up your sweater, only to find out that you literally don't have shit on besides some cute little boyshorts. He feels himself hardening in his pants quick because he's incredibly attracted to you and everything about you, always has been, always will be.
"You did amazing tonight." He says, gently kissing your forehead.
"You did too, partner." He gives you a slightly shocked look.
"Is that all I am to you? Your dance partner?"
"Yeah, why? Were you expecting more?" You joke as you smile up at him.
"Yeah, I was."
"Oh?" He gently swoops you up into his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around his torso as he sits you on the bed, his hands resting on your thighs while you continued to hold him around the neck. "Care to tell me what you were expecting?"
"Well, you know, my best friend—" He presses a kiss against your lips, thumbs gently rubbing circles against your hips. "My girlfriend."
"Hm, say that again?" Your fingers are gently playing with the ends of his hair, your lips barely grazing his.
"My girlfriend." He says closed to a whisper, kissing you softly. The kiss deepens quick, Jungkook's tongue lining your bottom lip as his way of asking for permission to take it further. You gladly take it and let him in, your tongues instantly fighting for dominance. Your fingers travel up his hair, tugging ever so slightly just to let him know you want more. That you need more.
And he gets that.
His fingers hook onto the band of your boyshorts, tugging them down and letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor. He breaks the kiss momentarily, his brown, puppy dog eyes looking straight into yours.
"Hey." He says, brushing the hair out of your face.
"Hm?"
"I know I said the last time was special, and it was. It is." He corrects himself. "But, I wanna do right by you this time around. So, is it okay if I keep going? Are you comfortable?" He asks properly, since the two of you are both sober and perfectly coherent, aware of your surroundings and the fact that you'll be seeing each other fully naked in a few minutes.
"Yes." You respond. "Yes, I want you to keep going. I want you. This." He simply nods, bringing his lips back onto yours. His hands climb up your sweater and gently gives your breasts a good squeeze, earning a small moan from the both of you. His other hand begins to travel down to your pussy, two long fingers slowly probing your entrance and causing your breathing to hitch.
"You okay?" He asks lowly. You nod, biting onto your bottom lip as you tilt your head back and rest on your hands, no longer able to keep up with the kiss due to all the pleasure starting to pile up deep in your core. Jungkook starts of slow, his head now buried into the crook of your neck as he works his digits upward, tickling at the right spot.
"Ohhhh, Kook." You mewl as his tongue swipes across the surface of your neck, biting gently beneath your jaw. He begins to pick up the pace, the sounds of him finger fucking you filling up the room entirely.
"Fuck, you're so wet baby." He groans into your neck.
"I'm gonna cum." You whine, teeth almost piercing through your bottom lip in between your whimpers.
"Need to taste you." He removes his fingers and sinks down in between your thighs, gripping onto them and pulling you just a teensy bit more off the edge of the bed so he can get a good angle. The sight of his eyes looking up at you in between your legs is to die for, and the sight alone is enough to make you cum. But, you hold on, you ride out for a little longer - feeling Jungkook's tongue swipe in and out of your folds before he's sucking endlessly on your clit.
"Ahhh, fuck, wait, Jungkook!" He slightly smiles while eating you out, signaling that he's not stopping even if you beg him to. "Hnnng—shit!" You moan loudly as you feel yourself toppling over the edge, your body shaking in Jungkook's grip. You twitch every time he continues to suck gently on your sensitive nub, letting you ride out the rest of your high. He comes back up to your lips, the taste of your own cum lingering on it as you kiss him deeply.
"You taste so good." He says, back to twirling your nipples in between his fingers.
"Wanna feel you." You fiddle with his jeans, undoing his belt and sliding the rest down as much as you could. Jungkook gets out of his shirt and tosses it aside before helping get the sweater above your head. His eyes glow at the sight of your bare body in front of him, wanting to do nothing but please you and please you well.
"God, you're so perfect." He places kisses down your collarbone, to the surface of your breasts before quickly swirling his tongue around your perked buds. You moan as you tug down onto his boxer briefs, immediately stroking his hardened member while he tended to you. Jungkook was a fucking beauty himself - his soft hair, his perfectly toned body, his long 'thick in all the right places' dick.
"Please." You plead. "I want you inside of me." You whimper, causing Jungkook's breathing to hitch when you slightly tighten your grip at the base of his shaft. He gently pushes your hand aside to take over, lining himself up at your entrance. He inserts the tip, watching your eyes roll to the back of the head as he slowly sinks into you.
"Mmmmmgod." He moans. "So tight for me, baby. So fucking wet and tight." He repeats, close to a growl. Your moaning begins to pick up, matching the pace of his thrusting. You're still on the edge of the bed, Jungkook keeping you steady by gripping your thighs tightly. He marvels at the sight of your titties bouncing up and down with every thrust, hissing and shutting his eyes momentarily to keep himself grounded and to prevent himself from coming too quickly. Cause god, he can literally blow any second now.
"Jungggggkooook, yessssss!" You moan loudly, whining even at this point with how good he feels fucking into you at such a fast pace. You're feeling slightly sore already from him hammering into you, but nonetheless, it builds more pleasure for you and you want nothing but to reach your high again. "I-I'm coming!" Jungkook moans in unison with you when he feels your walls pulsating against his cock.
"Such a good girl for me." He says, slowing his pace. The creamy sounds of Jungkook's cock slipping inside and out is music to the both of your ears. He finally gains the courage to remove himself, sitting next to your spot on the edge of the bed and pulling you onto his lap. You swing a leg over, your hands resting on the nape of his neck while you sink yourself lower onto his length. Your mouth opens to let out a moan, but the best you can do is let out a hiss. It feels too fucking good that you can't even process it thoroughly. Jungkook pushes your lips down onto his by grabbing your neck, his other hand guiding the movement of your hips as you roll into him.
"Mmmggg—Jungkook." You whimper in between kisses. "You feel so fucking good, god. You're gonna make me cum again."
"Yeah, cum for me. Cum all over me. It's yours." He grunts, his hands guiding you to work him faster. Your movements are getting sloppier, and you feel your wetness starting to coat his pelvis. He doesn't give a fuck though, and neither do you. This shit feels too good for you to worry about the mess you're making on him.
"Cum with me please." He moans at the sound of you whispering into his ear.
"Faster, baby." He says, almost making you cry at how awfully close you are to unraveling. You tug onto his hair, your head buried deep into his neck as you try and suck onto the surface, trying to find an outlet, some kind of release, until you let go. You suck harshly as you coat his cock with your cum, leaving a purple mark right at the base of his neck. You continue to ride out your high, rolling your hips sloppily as Jungkook finally lets himself go, his moan bouncing off of your walls as his seed fills you up warmly.
You stay in your position, slowly raising your head to cup his cheeks and kiss him deeply once more.
"Fuck, I love you." He says slightly pulling away.
"I love you too." You giggle.
"Didn't actually need any drinks to do this now, did we?" Jungkook jokes, softly pinching your hip.
"Shut up."
"Damn, you both couldn't even at least try to be quiet?!" Jimin yells from outside the door.
2K notes · View notes
miyagihawk · 3 years
Text
“best friend” | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader
Tumblr media
a/n: his hair is blue in the gif but red in the story :) also this is a bit long but i love it this is one of my favs
warnings: mentions of violence and cheating, swearing
summary: your boyfriend cheated on you and your best friend hawk is there for you
word count: 4207
You should’ve known. It couldn’t have been more obvious.
The way that he doesn’t let you see what’s on his phone. How he never takes you out anymore. The emotional distance you feel when he kisses you. It’s like he’s not even in the same room when you’re together.
Even with all the signs and evidence, your heart still broke like glass when you saw them together. Your boyfriend Danny and the girl that he always assured you was only his “best friend”, locking lips on his bed.
You had come to Danny’s house because he cancelled plans with you, claiming that he was sick. So you decided to surprise him with cookies that you baked, but he ended up having quite a surprise for you too.
The window of his room gave you a perfect view of the scene, and it was almost like you were meant to see it. Like he wanted you to see it. You stood in front of his house for what seemed like forever, trying to figure it out if it was real.
You tried d to rack your brain for excuses as to why he would do it. But there weren’t any. He was simply cheating on you.
Your heart physically hurt as your brain settled on that fact and you threw the plate of cookies on his lawn in defeat. Not caring if the noise made him look out the window, you began the walk back to your house with blurry vision from your tears.
But on the way there, you passed the house of your best friend Hawk. Seeking comfort from your heartbreak, you made your way to his window that you’ve always used as an entrance when you two hang out.
His light was on and you could hear his music, so you knocked on the glass with the rhythm you both made up to let him know that’s it’s you.
You waited as the music stopped and Hawk pulled back the curtains to reveal you. His red hair was down and framing his face in the way you like it. You’re the only person he allows to see him like that, and that fact always warms your heart.
Hawk looked happy to see you, but his smile dropped when he saw your tear stained cheeks and he quickly opened up the window. Helping you get in, he asked, “Y/N, what happened? Are you okay?”
You stood awkwardly in front of him, playing with your fingers. You weren’t sure if you even wanted to tell Hawk. He’s always hated Danny, and Hawk isn’t the most peaceful of creatures.
You didn’t say anything and just buried your face into his chest. You started to cry again, feeling safe in his arms as he held you tightly.
He led you to the bed to sit you down and let you cry it out in his warm embrace. He was worried about you, he’s never seen you like this; but he wouldn’t force you to talk. So for 15 minutes, Hawk ran his fingers through your hair comfortingly as you calmed down from your sobs.
“I’m sorry,” you spoke for the first time, smoothing down your hair. His shirt was filled with your tear stains, but he really couldn’t care less. He just wanted you to be okay.
“Don’t be sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” he said softly. He had a feeling about why you were crying, and he felt anger starting to bubble in his stomach.
You contemplated for a moment, not knowing if you should tell him. You knew Hawk. He would seek revenge on your behalf and it would end in blood.
But he would also find out anyways. If not from seeing Danny at school with the other girl, then he would probably put the pieces together if you told him that you broke up.
The only difference in the outcomes would be that right now you’re in control of how he finds out and you could possibly convince him to leave the situation alone.
“I-It’s Danny,” you breathed, feeling queasy about your decision.
You saw something flash in Hawk’s eyes and his fist tightened at the mention of your (ex) boyfriend’s name. “What did that fucker do,” he said, with a frightening, calm anger.
“Just... Don’t get mad, okay?” you stuttered. You could almost feel the change in the air just from the two words you spoke. Hawk unclenched his jaw and nodded, trying to be calm for you.
“I went to his house, and that was before I came here. And... I saw him with...,” your voice quavered as tears started blurring your vision again. It hurt to say it out loud and you couldn’t even finish your sentence.
Hawk abruptly stood up from beside you, and through your tear filled eyes, you could see the rage on his face. “I’m killing him,” was all he said, as he moved around the room to get his keys and jacket.
You stood up when he got to the door, and you pulled on his arm to make him stop. “Hawk, please. Stop,” you cried, but he was determined to make Danny hurt the way you were hurt. He wanted to hurt him more.
“That asshole was lucky to even have you look at him, Y/N. He’s fucking dead,” Hawk spit, taking his arm from you and making his way to the front door.
“Hawk! Just- stop. Stop! He isn’t worth it. Can you just stay here with me?” you whimpered, and at that moment his face fell. “Just stay, please. I need you.”
You saw the conflict on his face; the pity for you and his hatred for the boy who broke you. But with you in front of him, with puffy eyes and a cute red nose, he knows there’s no way he can leave.
The rest of the night, Hawk took care of you. He ordered in pizza from your favorite place and watched your favorite Disney movie with you, even though he always called it lame. His jokes made you laugh uncontrollably as if you hadn’t just gotten cheated on hours earlier. As always, your best friend was there to save the day.
“I’m sorry Y/N,” he said quietly as he played with your hair. It was already 1 am and you were both laying on his bed. You were exhausted from the day’s events; the thought of school the next day, especially seeing Danny, made you want to throw up.
“You were right,” you whispered, closing your eyes. Hawk had always been wary of Danny, and he often let you know it.
“Well, you see the best in everyone,” you felt the vibration of his voice from his chest, where you rested your head.
“What do you mean?” you looked up at him, struggling to read his face in the dark. His face was turned towards the ceiling in deep thought.
Hawk cleared his throat. “You see the good in people... and that’s my favorite thing about you. But sometimes you’re just so blind to the bad,” he explained.
You stayed quiet, thinking about his words and not really knowing how to interpret them. He continued, “I guess I’m trying to say that you’re different from normal people; you see through rose colored glasses. You dated that scumbag because you’re so loving that you saw the good in him, even if there’s fucking barely any.”
You laughed at the remark, then let him go on. “Even with me. I do shit that make people hate me. I throw punches that I regret and start fights that make me a horrible person in other people’s eyes. But you don’t really think of me like that, no matter how much I mess up. You’re the only person in my life who doesn’t see me as my fuck ups,” Hawk poured his heart out. “But I promise, I would never take advantage of you like him. Just keep living in your little world, alright? Don’t let him ruin that.”
You were left speechless. He had never said something so heartfelt to you and you wanted to cry at how sweet it was. You’ve never really thought about his view of you, but you guess it’s true. Sometimes your blind optimism gets you hurt, but you’re thankful that it helped you find your best friend. Yes, he’s not an angel, but if you listened to what everyone was saying about him, then you two would be strangers.
“I love you Hawk,” was all you said, and you kissed his cheek before cuddling into his side. He returned a kiss into your hair before the both of you drifted off into peaceful sleep.
-
The brightness of the sun woke you up from your dreams, and it took you a minute to adjust your eyes. Memories of yesterday flooded back, but you didn’t really feel sad.
The new day gave you a new perspective. You were grateful that you caught Danny, because if you didn’t, you might’ve never known. It still hurt that he betrayed you; you did love him. But wallowing in sadness would give him too much credit. He was a shit boyfriend and you vowed to cry no more tears over him.
The bed was empty, with no trace of your red haired best friend. In his place was a piece of paper with what you recognized as Hawk’s terrible handwriting.
‘Good morning you terrible snorer. Just kidding you didn’t snore. That loud. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up for school, you looked really tired and I think you should just have the day for yourself. I have karate later so you don’t have to wait for me, but you can stay if you want. There’s more ice cream in the freezer. Love you. -H’
You smiled as you read it, feeling thankful for how caring Hawk was. You were dreading going to school and facing Danny, but you would’ve forced yourself to go anyways. Hawk probably knew that, so he gave you no choice.
The first part of the day you did some therapeutic cleaning, picking up the pizza boxes and trash from last night.
Then you explored around his room, even though you’ve been in it a thousand times. You went through the comics he used to read and you tried playing his video games, but you didn’t know how to turn it on.
You were already bored by the second hour of being alone, so you decided to head to your own house to freshen up.
‘I went home, I’ll see you tomorrow? Thank you for everything, I don’t know what I would do without you. Also I’ll buy you more ice cream lol I finished it’ you typed a text to Hawk as you walked home, smiling to yourself. 
After a relaxing day alone of face masks and dancing to Lizzo, you were prepared to go to school the next day. You really appreciated that Hawk made you stay home; you needed this time to reflect on everything. You don’t need some boy who doesn’t give you the time of day, when you have Hawk.
-
As you got ready to go to school, you felt like a bad bitch, and you looked like one. No one would ever guess that you’ve just been through a breakup. The heartbreak didn’t last long; you just felt like you’ve dropped some unneeded weight.
You got to school, but Hawk wasn’t waiting at the front for you as usual. It was weird, because he never said anything about missing class. You figured he was just running late. 
But when he never showed up to your shared first period class, it made you worry.
‘Hey, did you not go to school today? Everything good?’ you sent him a quick text as you walked through the halls to your next class.
You were feeling anxious, a contrast from your earlier confidence. You didn’t think you’d be alone today and now you really didn’t want to see Danny without Hawk by your side.
But as if you summoned him and the universe hated you, your cheating ex boyfriend was coming from the other end of the hall. Your eyes met at the exact same moment and you wanted to look away, but you couldn’t.
A black eye adorned his face, matched with a bruised jaw and a wounded lip.
His eyes frantically searched around you as if he was looking for someone. He looked scared.
Suddenly, your brain put all of the puzzle pieces together and you came to a realization. Hawk did this, and he wasn’t at school because he probably got suspended.
Danny tried to move past you, but you grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the hallway. He didn’t meet your eyes as you stood in front of him.
“Danny... what happened?” you asked, even though you already knew the answer.
You didn’t know how to feel. You know you should be angry that Hawk didn’t listen to you, but you felt no pity towards the boy in front of you.
Danny scoffed. “You know what happened. Your little boyfriend started the fight, saying shit about how I don’t deserve you and I’m a cheating asshole.”
You rolled your eyes. “One, he’s not my boyfriend. Two, he’s right, you don’t deserve me. And three, you are a cheating asshole. You said Emily was just your friend, but I should’ve known. I saw you,” you snapped, but he shook his head and laughed.
“You don’t see it, do you? That you’re just as guilty as me?” Danny sneers.
“What?” you blink in confusion.
“Oh come on Y/N. You were always his. It was him first, and then me. But he was just your “best friend”, right? Don’t act all innocent, when anyone can see that you have feelings for him.”
Your mouth falls open slightly at his words, and he continues, “Look I’m sorry that it went down like this, but you should be with him. We’re just not meant for each other and it’s obvious that you love him more than you’ve ever loved me. And he loves you too. Otherwise I wouldn’t be looking like this. We’re fine, alright? Goodbye Y/N.”
Danny gives you a tight lipped smile before leaving, but you’re left staring into space, speechless. You didn’t expect anything he just told you and you don’t even know if you believe it.
Is he right? Do you love Hawk, like that? You’ve felt like the victim the whole time, but you never would’ve thought that Danny felt like one too.
You began to feel guilty, looking back on the relationship at times when you would leave dates with Danny to pick up Hawk when he’s in trouble. When you would choose to sleepover at Hawk’s house instead of Danny’s because he had a breakdown. And when sometimes you’re a little bit too affectionate with your best friend, but you’ve always excused it as platonic even though his forehead kisses gave you butterflies.
Maybe you really weren’t all that innocent.
Maybe you did love Hawk more than Danny, and maybe you’re only just now realizing it.
-
The pattern of the knocking at your window made your stomach turn.
You’re not sure if you’re ready to face Hawk after your revelation, because after thinking on it for the rest of the day, all signs pointed to him. Every single thing Danny said was right.
You love Hawk.
The only thing you aren’t sure of is how Danny said he loves you too. You’ve always thought that Hawk sees you as a little sister and strictly as a best friend, which is why he’s so protective. The possibility that confessing your feelings could ruin your relationship created a conflict within you.
You opened your window and there he was. He had a gash right above his brow, presumably from Danny, but he didn’t look half as bad as the boy he beat up.
You saw Hawk in a different light as he stood like Romeo before you. It was as if the realization of your feelings for him made his eyes look more beautiful and his lips look softer, and you no longer had to faithfully push those thoughts away.
“Hey,” was all he said, as he stumbled in through the sill into your room. His hair was down again, because he knew you liked it like that and he hoped it would help you not be too mad at him.
“Hi,” you said awkwardly, walking back to sit on your bed where he followed. He sat close to you so that your shoulders were touching, and even though he’s been closer, it made you feel lightheaded.
“Look, Y/N, I’m sorry, I know you said to leave it alone, but he hurt you, and I needed to-”
“I’m not mad,” you interrupted his nervous rambling.
“Oh,” his shoulders relaxed, but his fingers were still nervously tapping on his knees.
There’s a weird silence between you two, and it was out of the ordinary that you didn’t have something to talk about.
“Are you alright?” you finally looked at him for the first time since you both sat down.
You don’t know what compelled you to do it, but you lifted up your hand to lightly trace your fingers along his brow where the cut was. His ocean eyes were on you as you did it, but you felt nervous to meet them.
“I’m fine. Did you see him?” Hawk said in a light tone, smiling as you touched his skin.
You let out a quiet laugh. “Yes. Nice work,” you mused.
You pulled your hand away from his face, but he grabbed it before you could put it down. He moved your hand back to his skin, releasing millions of butterflies in your stomach. “I like it,” he said, and you only nodded.
“So how long are you out for?” you questioned, referring to his suspension.
“Three days,” he mumbled, eyes closing in relaxation as you started touching his hair. You sighed in response. “It was worth it though.”
He still had his eyes shut when you put down your hand and wrapped your arms around him. He blinked in surprise, then held you closer. “Thank you. You’re the only one who would take a punch for me,” you said, pouring gratitude into the embrace.
“I don’t think that’s true, but you’re welcome,” he rested his head in the crook of your shoulder and you felt his hair tickle your ear. “It was for me too, you know? I hated his guts.”
You responded with a hum of understanding, still grasping onto him like he could leave any moment.
He pulled back from you enough to see your face, and he looked concerned while he tried to read you. “What’s wrong?”
You really underestimated how much he knows you, because he sensed your anxiety even though you tried to mask it.
“Nothing’s wrong,” you offered a smile, but he wasn’t convinced.
“Did you talk to him?” he asked, rubbing soft circles on your hand. He knew you were thinking about something and he wanted you to open up, but he was always delicate with it.
You just nodded, feeling your palms getting sweaty. Talking about your conversation with Danny would bring up what he said about you and Hawk, and you weren’t even sure if you wanted to spill your heart yet. You internally cursed at yourself for not hiding your emotions well enough.
“Did he say shit to you? I swear if-”
“No. We just... talked,” you cut him off. You prayed that he would leave the topic, but he didn’t.
“What about?” he pressed, making you feel hot from nerves.
“Uh... I just asked him about what happened,” you answered, but there was no way he couldn’t hear the shake in your voice.
“Then what’s bothering you? You can talk to me Y/N,” he said softly, a worried look in his eyes. You felt bad keeping secrets from him, because that’s something you never did.
“Promise me we’ll always be best friends,” your voice shook, making his face twist up in confusion.
“What? Of course. Hey, nothing could change that alright?” he looked at you with his soft eyes.
You swallowed, feeling a bit better by his reassurance.
“He- He just said some things that made me think about... us. And I was blind to it, but- he’s right. Well he’s right about me, I don’t really know how you feel, but now I’m just so confused- and for some reason him cheating on me felt justified in a way? I-” you rambled anxiously, until Hawk stopped your frenzy of word vomit.
“Woah, woah, slow down Y/N... just... what? What is he right about? And how could that be justified? There’s no excuse for what he did Y/N,” his voice raised at the mere thought of Danny gaslighting you into thinking that somehow you deserved to be cheated on.
“No- I- I know it was shitty but... Hawk,” you took a deep breath to prepare yourself for your confession. “I think I cheated too. But not like him. I- I cheated emotionally,” you spit the words out, not only admitting it to him, but also to yourself.
The red haired boy’s face was blank in confusion as he processed what you had just said. “Y/N what the fuck are you talking about?”
You struggled to reach his eyes while you carefully tried to think through your answer. You felt like if you looked at him you would simply melt, but maybe in this case it would be a good thing.
He put his hand gently under your chin to tilt your face towards his, forcing you to meet his blue, puzzled eyes. You wanted to burst into tears under his gaze, because you had no idea what to do.
Hiding your feelings could ruin your friendship. Confessing has the same chance. So which are you supposed to choose?
“Hey, hey, it’s alright. I love you. I love you so fucking much Y/N and that’s forever. Nothing you say or do could change that,” Hawk said, rubbing your hand comfortingly. He thought you were hesitating in telling him because you were afraid of his judgment.
Those three words. They felt different this time. They made you more dizzy. More fluttery. The way he said it was the same as all the other times, but the way it made you feel was just so different.
It gave you such a high that you decided to take a leap of faith before you could fully think it through. A leap that you know deep down was always going to happen, even if it looked like there were two choices. You could regret it, but you just jumped.
“I love you. I mean, I’m in love with you, Eli. I’ve always been in love with you.”
You felt like you needed to run away right as you said it, as if the words were a bomb that you didn’t want to see the aftermath of. You didn’t want to see the outcome because you were afraid it would just leave you devastated.
Eli.
His mouth slightly fell open at the use of his old name, next to your piercing confession.
For some reason it slipped out of your mouth, but it felt right. You’ve probably said it five times ever since “Hawk” was born, but it was only used in serious conversations. Like when you comforted him after his dad died. Or when you were so worried about him when he ran away from home for a week.
“I’m so sorry, Eli,” you said, after hearing the news.
“I missed you so much, Eli, never fucking do that again,” you cried into his shoulder when he showed up at your door.
It was like a code between the two of you that you were being nothing but genuine.
Hawk sat in shock in front of you, and you swore you could actually see the escalation of thoughts running through his head.
“Maybe it took an asshole like Danny to make me realize it, but he was right. I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you... and I knew that, but it’s just how it’s always been. I thought we would go through life together but be with other people, even though I would always put you first. I thought that it was just an us thing, you know? Best friends. But I just- I realized that I don’t even need anyone else. I only need you,” you scanned his eyes for a moment before continuing. “I know I won’t love anyone else like I love you. And- and god, I’m just pouring my heart out and I don’t even know how you feel... I’m sorry if this is too much.”
He stared at you, stunned, and you heard your heart pounding in your chest violently as you waited for him to say something.
But instead of speaking, you felt the softness of his lips on yours before you could think another thought.
a/n: wow i think that was the longest thing i have ever written and i wasn’t sure if i was going to end it like that :0 anyways hope u enjoyed love u all!
555 notes · View notes
muffindaddystyles · 3 years
Note
My love I have read your almost all fics before but today for some reason I read almost I had read them again. What can I see I'm absolutely enamoured by each one of 'em 🌻🌻🌻.
My best wishes to you keep writing and keep prospering ✨
And for my request if you can write a blurb for the memory loss fic about them having a baby they talked about that would be really sweet 🥺 No pressure.
🌞 Anon
THANK YOUUU SM BUTTONS! YOUR LOVE MAKES ME FEEL SO WARM! Y'ALL COULD REQUEST WHENEVER UUUU GUYS FEEL LIKE
HIREATH (Y/N looses her memory from getting into an accident and Harry loves her all over again)
It all began with the weekly cleansing of their home. Yes, home. After months and months of getting accustomed to every creak of floorboard, the corner of hallway where sun shines the brightest, the tiny library Y/N loves to spend time with Harry – she has finally come to terms with calling this big sleek house her home, her most comfy space.
And Harry her person.
She has got a bunch of her memories back but other half still haunts her to sleep and she memorises the one she has a grip on to never let them slip and to cherish them till they grow old together.
While Harry had his head butted into some dusty corner to retrieve some boxes Y/N went through drawers to clean the cluster out, they both were singing ‘I’m always by your side’ by John Park.
Though, halfway through it Y/N stopped. She felt like the words choked her throat with tears bubbling in her eyes and her fingers trembled as she flipped the frame that has yellow and lilac chunky hearts on it’s borders.
“Can we have a family of ours? I've some affection for another pair of little bambi eyes.” She doesn’t remember writing it back there and it hurts her like a painful stab.
You don’t remember the most important detail of your own damn life, what a sadist.
She scoffed to herself.
When Harry didn’t hear the saccharine hum of her wife his head perked up, “Lovie?” His smile that was fluttering up from hearing their favourite part coming up and him about to be yelling at her to sing it with him dropped wrenchingly when he heard those sniffles.
“Baby.” He rounded towards her worriedly. Massaging her shoulder to make her look at him and the sorrow in his’s loves eyes broke his heart into shards tumbling him to his knees infront of her.
“What happened, darling?” He asked cupping her cheek gently and ran his thumb over her wobbling damp lip.
She just shook her head and sucked through her teeth, dollops of tears fell on Harry’s cheeks and sobbed into his hand with her eyes bolted shut.
“’M sorry!” Harry frowned when she apologised stroking her nose into his wrist, “Sorry f'what sweet pie?” He asked getting more concerned every second ticked by.
“That you wanted a family with me and I ruined that f'you ...” Her hiccups went breathless and Harry’s heart thumped into outer space for some seconds, he completely forgot about that lil present.
“Shh. Shh. ‘s okay me sweet girl, shh c’mon. Nothing’s ye fault. ‘M happy that you’re safe, healthy and happy in my arms, yeah?” He went to hug her and let her cuddle into him and she breathes his tangerine vanilla-y scent to calm herself down.
“Are you happy, though?” His tone was uncertain and his irises lurked with hope.
“Very.” He sighed in relief when She squeezed his fingers and bobbed her head profusely with that cute shy smile of hers, “Then all set! ... and fo’ babies my love we could have them whenever y'want,” He grazes his palm down her spine in smooth circles, “Whenever you’re ready.” He affirmed her in his most loving and assuring voice.
“Can we try for it now?” Harry’s brows shot up at her timid and hesitant whisper, his eyes glossed with tears of happiness because he thought he'd never be able to see this moment in his all life.
He pets her hair down her head and kissed her forehead, arms wounding around her shoulders to embrace her protectively and sentimentally.
“You want a tiny me and a tiny you!?” He grinned pushing her back gently to look down at her with cheerful eyes, when she bobbed her head with equal enthusiasm and excitement he turned all soft and mushy -- palm pressing against her belly.
“Want me t’put a baby in this pretty tummy of yours?” He smooched pecks on her lips, then kissed her compassionately at her honest confession that she actually wants what he’s been wanting for ages.
She wants to be the mommy of his babies.
.
Y/N's 6 months pregnant. With Harry’s bub. In a phase of it where her skin's all glassy and glowing, her eyes angelic and they grow proper lil suns on the sight of her hubby coming back home early to them.
Harry’s been never happier than this. He feels as if the whole world’s yarned up into his pocket.
He makes sure that his lovin’ is feeling comfy and pleased everytime, staying awake with her till mornings -- eating snacks and her weird cravings with her to make her feel less bad about it, taking care of her diet plans and her health, loads of love making and satiating sex, he’s always there to wipe her tears and listen to her tantrums all caused from her maternal hormones.
“Harry! Bambi eyed!!” She’s been sprawled on their deep snuggly sofa watching telly when she felt the baby moving around inside her while Harry swirled more cream on their strawberry pies.
“What happened –.. wait.” Anxiously Harry rushes back only to be met by his overly joyed girl as she huffs trying to sit up, “Come watch my belly, our baby’s havin’ a dance party inside here!” She giggles and forwards her hand for him to grab.
“Gimme your hand! Gimme! Gimme!”
“Is that so?” Harry smiles fondly wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her from back to his chest, “Don’t hear any music babe.” He teases her planting his ear against her swollen belly all of his teeth showing brightly when he feels a small prod against his cheek.
“Our bub just kicked!!” He squeals, smacking a little rushy kiss to her lips then again fixes himself back to his favourite spot.
Every night he reads books to the baby and listens to music with headphones around her belly in this exact spot.
“Harry ...” Y/N scratches his head and runs her fingers through his curls hoping that there lil one get them as walnutish and pretty.
“Do y'think I’ll be a good mother?” At that Harry moves all his attention on her and makes scooches her nearer to her, “Why’d y'ask that baby?” He asks brushing the loose strands of her hair way.
“Dunno.” She shrugs clutching the hem of his hoodie, “I don’t remember stuff from our past – sometimes I forget too much and then it comes all back. What if in old age my amnesia hits back and they'd get too annoyed by me.” There comes the pregnancy whining and wild thinking, messy tears and anxious thoughts.
“Moppet ...” Harry sighs, closing his eyes and kisses her cheeks.
“You’re g'na be the best mommy ever! Knows that they’ll love you endlessly, darling. Your memories doesn’t change the person you’re – my love, my life, the momma of my babies, you’re doin’ so good.” She giggles through her sniffles when Harry showers her in loud slobbery kisses.
“Watermelon with peanut butter sounds so good right now.” She murmurs into his neck and Harry’s glad she’s all bunched up in his arms because he did most disgusting face he could ever scrunch up.
“But, I just made y’a pie!” He whines counting on his fingers when she bursts into tears upon hearing that.
“Cute. Thank you. But, your baby wants that.” She pokes him in ribs and gives him the most puppy eyes ever.
“Alright. Not joining along though.” He gives her a pointed look and plucks her pout.
“Harry! Promise it’ll taste s’good.”
“I bet.” He quips, creating comical gagging noises.
“Meanie.” She grumps trying to bite his earlobe mischievously.
120 notes · View notes
trueshellz · 3 years
Text
Seeing your abusive ex: Bokuto Scenario
Based on something that happened to me today and ended with me having to call my auntie to calm me down while I cried hysterically in my car. This is based in my own symptoms but is not an extensive or absolute list. This cute boi is my comfort character from Haikyuu. If anyone ever needs to talk about stuff like this, I will happily listen. You are loved. You are amazing!
Warning: possible abuse triggers, some angst, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD type symptoms, harassment, past abuse hinted.
You were sure the car behind you was one you had seen before, as it popped up four times on your walk home you started feeling anxious. The first time has been when you left work, it was parked across the road with lights turned off as you left the building. The second and third time were when you went and left the supermarket to get dinner ingredients that you had forgotten yesterday. This time however, you were sure it was following you as you walked home. And if you were right it belonged to your abusive ex-boyfriend, one that you hadn’t seen in over two years since you threw him out after you gathered the strength to do so.
You knew not to walk too fast or too slow, you were holding a deodorant can in your pocket and had your safety alarm in your other hand with your keys. Your main issue was getting home safe. If you went home, he would follow you and know where you live. If you went to a friend’s house, she could be in danger and you didn’t want anyone to experience what you had. At the same time, it was getting a little dark and being out after sunset was just as bad. You could feel the memories of the abuse flash through your mind like a film reel, the familiar feeling of terror as you re-lived what happened. Your breath was catching in your throat as you walked, not from exertion but from sheer panic. You tried the breathing techniques your therapist had given you, tried thinking about you lovely boyfriend and the happy memories you had made together, but nothing stopped the darkness clouding your brain.
On impulse, you dialled Koutaro’s number, knowing he was at practice there was a small chance he would pick up and if he didn’t, your best friend was next. Glancing behind you again, you stayed on busy main roads as you walked, willed and prayed to God that he picked up his phone. Weaving through people hoping that he would lose sight of you and give up, at least long enough for you to get home safely.
“Hey gorgeous, I was just going to message you. I-“
“Kou... Kou... I...l...”
Your voice broke off in sobs as you spoke, the world around you seeming too small and the noises too loud as you walked. You had a small idea where you were, relying on muscle memory walking around the city but right now, all you cared about was the car that kept coming in and out your vision.
“Baby, whats’s wrong? Where are you?”
“I...”
Bokuto could hear your voice catch as you spoke, the sound hitting him right in the chest and making his heart hurt, he hated being on the other side of the city as he practiced for his upcoming match. It wasn’t often that he heard you like this, the nightmares had decreased and apart from the one time you opened up about a past relationship, you had never been this fearful.
“Baby, listen. It’s me, its Kou. Focus on my voice ok? Forget everything else. I love you. Tell me where you are.”
“I don’t know, Kou.” A pause as he heard you take a deep breath. “I’m scared.”
“I know, baby. Tell me what you see ok? You know this city way better than I do. Remember when I got lost on the way to your house? How late was I to our first date? I’m so lucky you agreed to a second one. You know this city like the back of your hand.”
You focused on the sound of his voice, the usual soothing melody as he spoke to you. The same voice that lulled you to sleep when you had a bad dream and screamed with happiness when you played games together. The one that groaned in your ear when he was too tired to moved or whispered how good it felt being inside you. Your bubbly, cute baby owl boyfriend. Remembering the instance he spoke about, he had gotten so lost that he was an hour late for your first date. You, thinking you had been stood up, had changed out your outfit and into a onesie. By the time he arrived, he had sweat through his shirt and looked like he’d walked about 50 miles. Being hesitant about the second date, he showed up with flowers an hour early and patiently waited outside while you got ready. His logic being the he could make the time up... somehow.
Telling him what you could see and reading out the name of the roads, you could hear his team in the background. Hinata being over-excited as usual, you could imagine him jumping up and down annoying everyone while Kageyama beat him up. While the other members were mumbling other background, Atsumu’s distinct accent was clear compared to everyone else. They were always so lively when you visited, jumping to talk to you or show you new moves, always thankful for the food and snacks you bought. Even if it made your boyfriend super jealous.
“Well done, baby. You’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you. Listen, you’re near Akaashi’s house ok? Remember him? He’s a year younger than me? We played in high school together. You met at our school reunion a while back. He’s a comic designer now.”
Casting your mind back, you nodded to yourself when you remembered the calm guy with dark hair that your boyfriend got along with so well despite being complete opposing personalities. The number of times you had heard ‘Akaashi’ shouted at various points, you had taken to copying Bokuto that night, much to Akaashi’s chagrin and your boyfriend’s delight.
“He’s expecting you ok? He’s a good friend of mine baby, I trust him with my life. He’ll keep you safe until I get there.”
Giving you his address, you started walking towards his apartment, it was near a main road and looking around you couldn’t see the vehicle anywhere. The panic from earlier still humming through your veins as you walked towards your destination.
“Kou, but-“
“Baby, don’t start saying anything. I know you’re thinking that you’re disrupting practice or ruining my game. That it’s a headache coming all the way over there when you haven’t even told me what’s wrong.”
His tone was calm and collected, but his words rang straight through your brain triggering your panic even further and the tears that had dried now coming back full force.
“Kou. I’m sorry.”
“Woah, hey. Don’t ever apologise. Ok? I never wanna hear you apologise for stuff like this. I’m leaving now. Go to Akaashi’s house and I’ll be there in as soon as I can, ok?”
“Ok, Kou. Thank you.”
“Welcome, baby. Love you.”
Waiting around for your boyfriend was making you edgy, you couldn’t sit still. What if your ex had seen Bokuto? What if he’d seen you come here? But you hadn’t seen him, a car was easy to spot right? What if he was tracking you? You had changed your number though? Akaashi had popped in twice to check on you, once to bring you a blanket and hot tea and the second time to ask if you wanted food. The tea was swirling in your stomach, the crying had made you fell nauseous and you were sure that your stomach would revolt against any food. Hearing voices from the hallway, your body tensed expecting the worst.
He found you.
He was going to hurt you again.
Instead, familiar grey-black hair popped up from behind the door and while your heart was still in your throat, the sight of him made the thread of fear loosen a little. Dropping his bag, Bokuto walked over to you before kneeling in front of you and holding your face in his hands as he leaned his forehead against yours. Thumbs wiping away any remnants of tears, he kissed you nose, cheeks and forehead before pulling you into his arms. The feel of his arms around you, the scent of his aftershave and faint smell of sweat from his sports wear eased the tension in your body a little but could do nothing against the sobs that broke free again.
“Shh, it’s ok baby. I got you. I’ll always have you. You’re safe now.”
“Kou... I saw him. He... he was behind me.”
Bokuto knew instantly who you meant, he wished he could personally do something about him but between his career and your fear, the idea of beating your ex to a pulp didn’t seem plausible. While he wasn’t super close with Daichi, he knew Kuroo was and was going to reach out and do something about it. Holding you at arms length, he brushed away your tears and kissed your forehead again, linking your wrists together so your couple bracelets latched on to each other. They were something you had seen on TikTok, two bracelets with magnets that would link when they were close. You thought he would reject the idea at first, but Bokuto thought they were the best way to show everyone you were his girl. Plus it gave him a great excuse to your hold hand when you went everywhere.
“See, baby? Look how these magnets find each other and attract one another. Just like you and me. Nothing could keep me away from you. I’ll always find you. Okay?”
You nodded, glancing down at the bracelets and then up at your boyfriend. His amber eyes full of worry but love and the way he held you like you were something so precious.
“Plus, if he tries anything I’ll beat him up, have you seen these muscles baby?”
You snorted as Bokuto flexed his arm, muscles straining against the sleeve of his tee and couldn’t help but fall into his chest giggling as he squished you. The tears from earlier forgotten as you embraced the loving nature of your gorgeous boyfriend.
343 notes · View notes
endlesstwanted · 27 days
Text
Winter Wonderland Bingo masterpost
Winter is over and so is @seasonaldelightsbingo’s winter wonderland!
I got two cards and managed to fill fourteen squares, mostly in MCU fandoms but also for other Marvel projects, two series and a crossover with two of my fav European films. It was a blast, and even though I didn’t get to finish every WIP I started, I’m excited to keep working on them later on. ❄️🩵
All info, ratings and pairings are below the cut and titles are linked to my Ao3. The 3x3 card will come first, the 5x5 last.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
We Stayed Halfway
❄️ Being taken care of
Fandom: Captain America Movies Steve Rogers/Brock Rumlow | Explicit | 2,2k words WARNINGS: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Porn Without Plot Summary: After being exposed to an unknown toxin in a SHIELD’s laboratory, Brock and Steve deal with the effects of it in the Captain’s office.
Tumblr media
I’m Not Going To Say Goodbye So I Don’t Have To Go
❄️ Peppering kisses all over their face ❄️ Covered in blankets ❄️ Playing with their hair
Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV) Carlos Reyes/TK Strand | T | 2,039 words WARNINGS: Post-Episode: s02e12 The Big Heat, Trauma, Angst Summary: After their night gets ruined by a home in flames, Carlos and TK go to the Strand’s house.
Tumblr media
Two Trains And Cold Coffee
❄️ Simply enjoying each other's company
Fandom: Deux Moi (2019), Verdens Verste Menneskee (2021) Julie/Mélanie Brunet | Teen | 200 words Summary: A quiet morning with Mélanie and Julie.
Tumblr media
Ten Revolutions Around The Sun Later
❄️ Pressing Forehead Together
Fandom: The Avengers Movies Bruce Banner/James Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark | T | 500 words WARNINGS: Flashbacks, Temporary Amnesia, Implied past Torture and s/h Summary: Bucky’s flashbacks are triggered by the snow. Bruce and Tony are there to help him get back to his own self.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pros and Cons of Being Hawkeye
❄️ “I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn.” ❄️ Unsteady || X Ambassadors
Fandom: Hawkeye (Comics) Clint Barton & Kate Bishop | Teen | Modboard Summary: A moodboard made by endlesstwanted (and Kate - Hawkeye!) Tumblr link
Tumblr media
Broken Oath
❄️ “I’m fine.”
Fandom: Black Widow Movie Yelena Belova/Natasha Romanov | Mature | 742 words WARNINGS: Red Room shit, Angst, Implied past non-con (not between the pairing and not in the fic) Summary: Yelena turns fifteen, and Natalia has to prepare her for the real world. At least, according to what the Red Room thinks a woman needs to work with for them to take over the world.
Tumblr media
Boyfriend’s Spider-Sense
❄️ The Most Beautiful [insert] That They've Ever Seen
Fandom: Spider-Man: Spider-Verse (Sony Animated Movies) Hobie Brown/Miles Morales | Teen | 683 words Summary: Miles pays Hobie a visit when he feels he’s not feeling alright.
Tumblr media
Chasing Some Warmth
❄️ Being the Little Spoon for the First Time
Fandom: The Avengers Movies Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton/Sam Wilson | Explicit | 795 words WARNINGS: Casual Sex, Porn Without Plot, Established Clint/Sam Summary: The nights at Barton’s farm are very cold since the generator broke down. Bucky’s interested in learning what Clint and Sam do in these cases.
Tumblr media
I Can’t Like That
❄️ “I’d rather it be me than you.”
Fandom: Chicago Fire Joe Cruz & Brian "Otis" Zvonecek | Teen | 569 words WARNINGS: Hurt No Comfort, Implied Canon Character Death, Episode: s08e01 Sacred Ground Summary: Joe waits, helpless, for his best friend to leave.
Tumblr media
The Good Win Over The Bad
❄️ Wishing on a Penny
Fandom: Captain America Movies Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers | Teen | 100 words Summary: Ten years after graduating from high-school, Bucky reunites with the one that got away from him. At least, if staring at Steve for half an hour counts as a reunion.
Tumblr media
Great Things For Kind Hearts
❄️ tis the damn season || Taylor Swift
Fandom: The Avengers Movies Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark | Gen | 100 words Summary: Tony reflects on how his life changed after meeting Bucky.
Tumblr media
Someone Like You And Me
❄️ Forced to quit
Fandom: Thor Movies Jane Foster & Sif | Teen | 581 words WARNINGS: Canon Sick Character Summary: In New Asgard’s hospital, Jane reunites with an old friend.
Tumblr media
Our Fake Love Story
❄️ Can’t Tell a Soul
Fandom: What If...? (Cartoon 2021) Carol Danvers & Darcy Lewis | Teen | 100 words Summary: Carol shares with Darcy the only thing they can do to stop her wedding with Howard to become legal. Darcy has her doubts.
Tumblr media
So Pretty, Hanging
❄️ Hanging from the Ceiling
Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV) Bucky Barnes/Sharon Carter | Mature | 100 words Summary: When her dom shows up with a new toy to try, Sharon has her reservations. Luckily, she has also thought of something fun to do while being tied up and taken care of.
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 years
Note
Small fic about Tord's sibling almost talking him down in the climax of The End until Tom throws the sofa at him and harpoons him. Anfst timw bby.
"Tord..is this really what you wanna do?"
The massive red robot glanced down at you as its blue window became transparent. Its occupant, your one and only maniac of a brother, grinned at you widely.
"Yeah! I mean..this is all I came back for! C'mon søsken, let's leave all of this behind and start anew." Kneeling down, the robot extended its hand to you. "We'll rule the world together and be unstoppable!" Tord laughed like some cliché comic book villain.
But you weren't laughing at all. You didn't want to "rule the world" or cause any mayhem.
You only wanted to meet Tord's friends..that's the only reason you decided to come back into town with him. They seemed like such nice people, too, though you could tell he and Tom did not like each other a bit.
So how did that turn into you standing on the roof of a house, face-to-face with his giant robot, and trying to talk him out of destroying everything?
Part of you regretted coming here. Had you known his true plans...you would've stopped him way sooner.
He frowned as he saw you avert your gaze. "Oh come now..no reason to be sad. How about I make you your own robot? Any color you want! E-Except red, of course..that's-"
"I don't want a damn robot!" You snapped, clenching your fists. "I just...I want a normal life, with a normal brother. If you wanna show off your robot to Paul and Patryk, fine. But don't hurt them."
Edd and Matt perked up as they saw you gesture to them. You noticed their worried gazes and smiled sadly, hoping that they trusted you. You promised them that you'll try to talk sense into Tord.
Right now only you could. The fate of this neighborhood--and possibly the world--was literally in your hands.
"I don't know why you suddenly hate them but...they seem pretty cool." You looked back at your brother. "Whatever grudge you have against them is not worth destroying their lives over. It's never worth it, Tord. So please..let's just leave them alone."
As the robot stood rigidly, Tord looked uncertain now. Of course he noticed how much fun you had with his friends. He may have his own selfish desires but above all else, he wanted you to be happy.
And today you were especially happy to meet them.
Perhaps you were right.
Maybe this wasn't worth it.
"[Y/n]...I-"
"HEY!! SUNSHINE-LOLLIPOPS!"
Startled by the voice, you looked down to see Tom emerge from Edd's house, holding a cube-shaped gadget. "Take a SEAT!!" He threw it towards the robot as it transformed into a large piece of furniture-
Only to bounce harmlessly off its chest.
But something in Tord snapped, forgetting all about your words, as the arm turned into a massive rocket launcher. "Oh, SHUT UP!!!"
"TORD, NO!!" You yelled as he fired a rocket at the house, causing a massive explosion that shook the entire neighborhood. In horror you saw him fire another rocket at Eduardo's house right when the three occupants stepped outside to investigate the commotion.
Although you nearly fell off the roof, you managed to steady yourself as you scowled up at Tord, absolutely livid. "What the hell?!! I thought-!!!"
"Yeaaaah I changed my mind. It's best you forget about him [y/n]. Now let's go."
"You'll have to catch me first, asshole!!"
Racing to the ladder, you avoided his grasp and climbed down. Clearly your refusal to go with him earned his ire. "Ugh, I'm losing my patience with you!! I never should've let you come!!" He chased after you.
But he didn't get too far as the robot abruptly stopped and began punching itself.
"OW!"
You were confused until you noticed Matt pressing random buttons on the control panel, which somehow survived the house's destruction. Edd soon joined in, determined to buy you enough time to get away.
From the cockpit, Tord was being attacked by smaller robot arms, causing the mecha to stumble around. But even though he threatened you, you didn't want to see him get too badly hurt.
So you ran over to Edd and Matt. "Guys, stop. You're gonna kill him!!"
"Sorry [y/n], but I can't forgive him for ruining my face!!" Matt retorted.
"Besides, Tom's dead and we're probably next-" Edd started, only to be interrupted by Eduardo's voice.
"Jon?!"
You three stopped arguing and saw him holding Jon in his arms. But sadly he died a few moments later, succumbing to his injuries.
It was then you all realized..
Tom was still alive.
You then yelped as a laser beam destroyed the control panel, disintegrating it instantly, before noticing the robot retract its arm. "Fine. Stay here for all I care, [y/n]. So long, old friends!" He began to fly away.
With sadness you watched him leave. 'Why didn't you listen?'
For a moment you thought it was all over...
Until Tom emerged from the house rubble, wielding a giant harpoon gun, with tears in his white eyes. "I AM NOT. YOUR. FRIEND!!!!" He screamed as he fired the harpoon at the robot, impaling its head.
You covered your mouth in horror upon seeing it malfunction, soon exploding in a bright flashing light. Off in the distance you could see a figure falling from the sky.
You glanced at Edd and Matt for a moment, nodding to them, before you raced over to wherever your brother fell.
Sure enough, amid all the debris from the robot, you found him laying on a hill. Shockingly enough he was alive, but as you knelt down you realized half his face was scarred; same with his arm.
Paul and Patryk were already there, looking just as horrified. Though they decided to just sift through the wreckage so you could help Tord sit up.
He was a bit dazed, but surprised that you were here. As you reached out to him he flinched, convinced that you were going to slap him for being so stupid and foolish.
He deserved it for basically abandoning you, right?
Instead, however, you..hugged him. "Dumbass, I thought I lost you.."
The waver in your voice broke his heart, though he said nothing as he wrapped his good arm around you, resting his head on your shoulder. His hold on you was tighter than normal.
You were right.
It wasn't worth it.
158 notes · View notes
the-cult-of-russo · 3 years
Note
Ok so I've been coming back here to reread all of your work and I never get tired of it (the NSFW alphabet one is low-key my favorite one 👀) and let me tell you that you're one of my favorite writers and love all of your work.
You don't have to do it if you don't want to, but do you have hc of how Billy Russo would react/ be when he finds out that he's going to be a father? Based on your NSFW alphabet you did for him, you described him as a (extremely) sweet and caring person and I couldn't help to think about how he would be if he ever had a kid of his own.
(Once again, feel free to ignore this if you want to or feel uncomfortable doing it. It's a thought that hass been in my head for a while and wanted to get it out of my system lmao 😂)
First off, thank you! I really appreciate that 🥺🖤🖤🖤
Also, I love talking about headcanons, never worry about asking me about them lmao
So I just wanna say since I did write a multi chapter series about how Billy walked away when he found out that like, the idea for that happened because the first part, his letter to you, is what came to my head. And I wanted to write something sad and angsty. I feel like he's much more likely to stick around in all honesty but the boys got so many issues who even knows loool
But I just wanted to point that out because this will be different and I don't want people to be like; 'But Thalia... you did a whole thing where he left...' 😂
So yeah lmao
Remember, this is my Billy. AU, still bros with Frank Billy 👀😂🖤
I've split this into a few scenarios because I feel like there would be small differences depending on the context.
One night stand:
You had a one night stand with Billy. An amazing, ruin you for other men, kind of one night stand. But then you found out you were pregnant and went to Anvil to tell him. Of course when you turn up there he has no idea the bomb you're about to drop on him. Instead, he gives you a filthy smirk as you enter his office.
"Couldn't stay away?"
When you tell Billy you're pregnant, there's a long moment where he just blinks at you and you're pretty sure you might have broke him.
He cycles through a million and one emotions before it settles on a mix of sheer terror, shock and happiness.
He tries not to get offended when you blurt out that you'd understand if he didn't want to be part of his baby's life. He didn't want his kid to grow up feeling like he didn't love them. He's not his mother.
You're not offended when the first words to leave his lips are asking if the baby is definitely his. Its a valid question since you'd slept with him just hours after meeting him in a bar.
He tells you he wants to be there and of course he takes care of all medical bills and even tries to convince you to let him buy you a better place to live. Somewhere closer to him so you and the baby will be close by.
It wasn't planned or expected by any means but he wants to be there.
Casual sex/friends with benefits:
Billy comes over expecting to get some great sex and instead has you thrusting a pregnancy test in his hands. You're scared and upset and have no idea how he'll react. You've been sleeping together for a while but been friends for longer than that. His commitment issues are exactly why you're worried.
He sits down and stares at it, letting his brain try to absorb the fact he's going to be a dad. He feels the shot of anxiety run through him, wondering if he can do it. What kind of dad could he be? His own mother never loved him, would he be capable of loving a child?
But he knows the answer is yes. Because despite not even being in a relationship with you and this coming out of the blue, he feels excitement welling inside of him and he doesn't even realise he's smiling at the test in his hands.
When he looks back at you, sees how scared you are, he feels a pang of something in his chest that feels an awful lot like panic. He asks what you want to do, scared of the answer you'll give him. But of course you scoff and tell him you're keeping the baby.
Relief and happiness flood his body then as he gets up, hugging you tightly and stroking your hair.
"You don't gotta worry. I'll take care of you both, I promise."
And he means it. Once again he pays all the medical bills and he shockingly tells you he'd like to make a real go out of what you two have.
He buys a house for you and the baby but doesn't pressure you about him living there too. He let's you set the pace for what's happening between you.
Relationship/marriage:
He cries. Like a lot. Planned or not, the news has him weeping like a little girl. You're living together so he notices when you're feeling unwell. Notices that you haven't had your period since he normally gets you ice-cream and also gets you pads and things if you need them. He doesn't say anything though until you do.
So he gets the test for you. The pair of you sit on the bed after you did what you needed, a timer on his phone. The test is on the dresser across the room. Both of you are silent. Overwhelmed by what might happen. He really wants it to be positive. (If this wasn't planned then when you told him you might be, he started to really think about it and found he wanted a baby with you).
When the timer goes off you both jump up comically but hesitate near the dresser. Billy ends up being the one brave enough to look. You watch his reaction for a moment and you're startled when his eyes water, the way he looks at you with a beaming smile as the tears fall without him even noticing.
"We're havin' a baby!" He grins like a mad man, picking you up and twirling you around.
He's so excited that the second your feet hit the ground, he's on the phone to Frank telling him the news. Still crying, mind you.
Once he's made his phone calls, he tells you the penthouse is being left behind. He's buying a house near the Castle's for your new little family.
Both he and Frank fix it up and decorate it.
No matter which scenario it happens:
Billy goes to every appointment with you, every ultrasound. The first time he sees his baby, he cries. When he finds out if its a boy or girl, he cries. When he first feels the baby kick, he cries. When the baby's born, he's a mess. He attends every class with you and reads all the books he can get his hands on. And of course he asks Frank for advice about anything and everything.
He frequently talks to your bump, regalling the baby with tales of his life or reading from a book. He takes good care of you, anything you need, he gets you. You want pickles and a donut at 4am? Don't worry, Billy's got you. You need crazy good sex because the hormones are driving you up the wall? Billy's got you. You're sobbing because you feel like a beached whale and none of your clothes, even the pregnancy ones fit you? Billy's there. Telling you that you're absolutely beautiful. Radiant even. He gets one of his guys to buy you a bunch of clothes that fit and he cuddles you until you feel better. He dotes on you constantly, always calls and texts if he's not with you to make sure you're okay.
When you go into labour, he's there holding your hand and cheering you on the whole time. And the second the babys there, he's sobbing and smiling like an idiot. When he first holds his baby, it's a feeling he's never felt before. He feels complete in every way. So full of love he just might burst from it. And while a tiny part of him grieves for the baby version of himself that didn't seem to ever have that, he's overwhelmed by the pure happiness and love as he gazes down at his little ones face.
"Shit... you're so perfect."
He vows to be the best damn father he can be and the baby will never feel unloved for even a second.
215 notes · View notes
ordinaryschmuck · 3 years
Text
What I Thought About "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" from The Owl House
Wow. They are really pushing it for that secret message, huh?
Anywho--Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!
I think it goes without saying at this point that Season Two of The Owl House is setting itself up as a season without filler. Now, filler episodes aren't always bad. Yes, it hurts when a series turns away from the main plot for a week. But at best, they're utilized as a chance for the writers to play around with the characters and developing said characters without it relating to the overarching story. So, some people who see that consider it a bad thing that a series doesn't have that many filler episodes.
I like to call those people: F**king morons.
Don't get me wrong, I see where some of you are coming from. And I'd be willing to agree...if The Owl House was a plot-driven series. Which it's not. It is a character-driven series. Because for every plot thread and narrative that the show presents, they always relate to the characters and develop them further each time these threads get brought up. For example, look at "Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty's Door" (It pains me just to write that). Several narratives move forward, and it’s all done to make the characters grow. And to explain how requires going into spoilers. So keep that in mind as you continue reading.
Now, let's review, shall we?
WHAT I LIKED
Hooty: Might as well start with the character that this episode is about.
To tell you the truth, I wasn't a huge fan when I found out we're getting a Hooty-centered episode. I've grown to love him over time, but he is a comedic character that's best used in small doses. Primarily due to how his voice is grating to me (My ears are still bleeding...). With that said, I do really love his contributions in "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (Seriously, there couldn't have been a less awkward title?). Hooty's antics when trying to help everyone are as hilarious as they are heartwarming. He deeply cares for his friends but just doesn't understand how his plans could do some unintended harm, which is pretty lovable if you ask me. We also get some surprisingly great insight into his character, as he feels insecure about basically being the comic relief who doesn't really do that much other than being funny. Rarely do you get that level of dimension from a comedic character, and it's even more uncommon for that to work out as well as it does here. It once again proves just how competent the writing is in this series to the point where we get an episode about Hooty, and it's funny and heartwarming instead of being annoying. And whoever is responsible for that, you're the best.
Lilith’s Letter to Hooty: I mean it when I say that I love how Lilith kept her word about her and Hooty becoming penpals. Their friendship was something I would have never expected to love, and I'm still shocked that it works so well, so seeing it continue like this just warms me to the bone. Plus, it is pretty sweet that Lilith's kind words are what inspired Hooty to do what he's done in this episode...meaning it's Lilith we should thank here--SON OF A WITCH! Even when she's gone, she's still working her way into my heart!
King going through Puberty: What?! KING IS EVOLVING!
(There, I made a Pokemon reference. Do I get my cookie now?)
Eda Keeping Herself Awake to Train Herself: I'm willing to bet a large sum of money that this has everything to with Raine getting captured last week. If Eda was still the most powerful witch in the Isles, she might have actually saved them. But she isn't, and now the love of her life is in the clutches of a tyrant planning something that could potentially be the end of everything. So I can understand Eda pushing herself to her limit to get back on top again, as I would probably do the same. It's not healthy in any way, and Eda would be doing more harm than good. But when it comes to the people you love, logic doesn't always win out in the end.
Luz Wanting to Make her Way into Amity’s Heart by Making the Echo Mouse Happy: ...That's it. I Just...I just love everything about it, ok?
This was also when I knew that I was wrong to doubt that there would be zero Lumity in this episode. I realize my follies now, and I humbly apologize.
Hooty Teaching King About Demons: This was so funny. So, so funny. Probably doesn't come as a surprise, especially since The Owl House proves itself as a comedy before, but the jokes have never hit as frequently and as hard as they did here. From Hooty getting offended by King's dance to him and Dana's insert wanting a "DNA sample," everything managed to successfully make me lose my s**t. It does come at the expense of King suffering, but I can stomach that much more than if it were Eda or Luz. And, as a bonus, we get lore about how demons work, added with another great joke of King getting in trouble with Hooty for saying he already knows this stuff. Humor isn't always the show's strong suit, but when it works, it f**king works.
King Wanting to Know What he Is: But despite how funny King's vignette was, we still get to see more of his character grow. We learn that he's frustrated now that there's this big question mark over his life now, feeling extra angry that his father "abandoned" him to leave such a present mystery. It shows the hidden resentment he has that Lilith inadvertently brought out, made even worse when King's father hasn't responded to the video yet. King hasn't really gotten that much development until "Echoes of the Past," so it's pretty cool that the writers haven't really slowed down on it. Especially when it leads to these great moments of King venting his frustrations.
King’s Shouting Powers: KING learned FUS RO DAH!
(And now that's a Pokemon reference AND a Skyrim reference. WHERE'S MY GOSH DANG COOKIE!?)
Eda’s Nightmare: If King's vignette hits you hard with the laughs, Eda's will absolutely hit you harder with the feels (never make me say "feels" unironically again). Knowing that Eda's life got thoroughly screwed over by the curse is something we could figure out on her own. But seeing just how much the curse ruined her life and tore apart relationships that mean the world to her really does a swell job at ripping apart the soul. What's even more tragic is, technically speaking, it's all sort of Eda's fault too. She kept hiding the curse, refusing to be a burden to others who would do all they could to help. If she had only been open and honest, things probably wouldn't have changed much, but they most likely would have been better than they are now.
Eda Attacked her Father as the Owl Beast: ...I don't know what I was expecting when "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" hinted that there was some possible tension between Eda and her father...but it definitely wasn't this.
The fact that we see blood where his eye used to be doesn't make things any happier, either.
Raine Broke Up with Eda: Before we get into anything else, let's celebrate the fact that it's now confirmed that Eda and Raine really did use to date in the past. Because this show is just f**king phenomenal with its LGBTQA+ representation!
But, seriously, this is a fantastic reveal that goes far beyond just shipping...well, sort of. It shines a new light on Eda and Raine's interactions from last week, revealing that while they're not a couple anymore, they still very much love each other. It helps make their last interaction especially tragic, as they were both on the same page now and could very well be together again. Only for them to be forced apart for the second time in a way that's much worse than the first. And I frickin' adore that this series changes the impact of one episode one week later. Again, it shows just how competent these writers are, and kudos to them for making something so...perfect.
The Moon Person: WHO THE FU--Nope. Nope! We have more than enough mystery bulls**t to deal with through CreepyLuz and Philip Wittebane, so I am PUTTING YOU ON THE BACKBURNER FOR NOW!
(They're probably nothing more than a one-off character, anyway)
The Owl Beast and Eda are Connected: Through visuals alone, we, the audience, can clue into what the curse really means. The Owl Beast doesn't want to be a part of Eda as much as she doesn't want it to be a part of her. Whether they like it or not, and they very much don't, they're stuck together. The thing is, and this is what I love the most, they still decide to make the best of their situation rather than let it ruin their lives even more. This might be the best possible turn Eda's curse could have made. It'll still affect her, and there are probably more negatives than positives, but at least now, it's not the worst thing in the world. And I feel like that's all anyone can ask when in a position like her own.
Eda's “Pretty Dream”: I don't know what emotions are toiling inside me more with this moment. Awe and wonder over how beautiful Eda's dream is, or heartbreak over the implication that she has only had nightmares since getting cursed...I'm gonna say both. Yeah, it's definitely both.
Eda’s Harpie Form: Well, fan artists are gonna have a field day with this...especially the freaks.
(You know who you are. And you're weird!)
Luz Calling Amity a “Cotton-Candy Haired Goddess”: ...Have I ever mentioned how much I love this show?
Hooty Kidnapped Amity: ...Hooty, if your stupidity wasn't charming, I would be more than willing to call the authorities over how you kidnapped a girl in your version of a knapsack and locked her in the basement. For that is going to ring SO MANY alarm bells in people's heads.
Amity and Luz Stuck in a Tunnel of Love: *Smacks lips* Mmm. The adorable awkwardness of this moment is just *chef's kiss* magnifique!
Luz being afraid of getting made fun of:
Amity’s look of hope: I mean...just...f**king--LOOK AT HER:
Tumblr media
That is the look of a girl who, while embarrassed as hell, still is ecstatic to learn for a brief moment, everything that she is hoping for has a high chance of being real. Who, in their right mind, wouldn't go "Aw!" at something so pure and innocent?!
Luz Destroying the Tunnel of Love: This is how to effectively utilize dramatic irony. The audience can understand why Luz is tearing the place apart because she explicitly states that she's afraid of Amity rejecting her in the end. They also know that's bogus, thus making it extra painful to watch Amity's heart break more and more with each second (which is perfectly represented through Amity's expressions). You feel bad for both of them, and even worse when you know that it can easily be prevented by the simple art of communication. That's what makes it great dramatic irony. Knowing the point of view of each character results in a scene that evokes emotions in two different ways.
Hooty’s Breakdown: This was...genuinely hard to watch. Not that it was badly written, far from it. It just...hurt seeing how destroyed Hooty was when he realized he failed the people he has such an admiration for. On the upside, a wholesome moment follows soon after as the Owl House gang tries to reassure Hooty that he's done a lot of good that night. It's a pure action that shows even though Hooty gets on their nerves all the time, they still care about him...damn it. I think I'm gonna cry.
Eda’s Advice for Luz: ...Eda...You're the best.
You found out that your surrogate daughter wants to ask a girl out, and not only were you quick to deliver the best possible advice ("Just go for it!"), but you also quickly reassure her that it doesn't need to be perfect.
And you know what? That's it. Eda is the best cartoon mom! She might not technically be Luz's mom, but I don't give a s**t because she is the best!
Luz and Amity Ask Each Other Out: Shh-sh-sh-sh...
Do you hear that?
...
...
...It's the sound of dozens of Lumity fans collectively losing their s**t...and I'm one of them.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!
IT!
IS!
CANON!
AH-HAHAHAHAHA!
HOLY S**T! Holy s**t! Holy s**t...might just be the best way I could possibly describe this! Finally, after all the waiting, speculating, and praying, THESE TWO IDIOTS FINALLY GOT TOGETHER! AND IT WAS PERFECT! I mean, it was awkward as s**t, but that's what makes it perfect! You know why? You wanna--Hey! *snaps fingers*. You want to know why? It's because they're teenagers. Of f**king course, it's going to be awkward! This is their first relationship, so there will be a lot of missteps along the way. And that, in itself, brings me to the best (second best part?) thing about it happening in episode eight of the new seasons. Most endgame couples get together in the climax or even at the end of the series. But to have them get together this early on, means there will be quite a few episodes dedicated to showing them grow as a couple.
And better than that--EVEN F**KING BETTER THAN THAT--dozens of kids are going to see these two, a realistic depiction of young love that just so happens to involve two girls, and are going to learn once and for all that there is nothing wrong with being who they are. That fact alone is f**king incredible. Yes, it sucks that season three got cut short, and we'll have even less time with Luz and Amity, but knowing how many kids have felt seen today almost makes it worth it in the end.
And if I see one mother f**ker saying this was poorly paced, I might just hunt them down for SPORT...Sorry if that was an overreaction. I'M JUST SO HAPPY! Because they're happy! Look at them. Listen to them! It's so...GAH-HAHAHA!
“They’re adorable! And deserve all the happiness!”: You're darn right, Hooty! You're darn right.
King’s Father(?) Shows Up: What the--WHAT?! They're doing this now?! Here?! After everything else?
Oh, man. What could this mean? What dynamic changes will this cause in the main cast? How could the writers fit this in during the next two episodes? And what--
Hooty Eats the Letter: ...Pfffft--HAHAHAHA!
Oh, man...I should be mad, and I wouldn't blame others if they are...but that is too much of a brilliant f**k you that I can't help but appreciate it. Bravo writers. Bravo.
WHAT I DISLIKED
...Dislikes? Dislikes? You would honestly believe that after everything I witnessed in this episode, that I would have the gull to list anything wrong with it?!
HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD BE SO CALLUS TO--Actually, I do kind of have an issue with the episode's title. It's just too much of an awkward mouthful for me to get behind. I understand that the writers wanted to sneak the K into the secret message, but were there really no other titles starting with K that they couldn't come up with?
But that's just a personal issue, and in no way do I think anybody else would feel the same way. Especially with how well-written everything else is anyway.
IN CONCLUSION
"Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (title aside) is another A+ episode. It was hilarious, heart-wrenching, and downright adorable while keeping me entertained with every minute. I'm sure there are some issues I was willing to ignore due to how expertly written everything else was, but why bother looking for the chinks in the armor when I could just enjoy a perfect episode for being so...perfect! Some of you might be willing to disagree with me, but to that, I say: Don't knock it till you've tried it.
(Now, if you don't excuse me, I'm going to go lie down. It's...It's been a day.)
74 notes · View notes
Reconciliation (Stan Uris x reader x Richie Tozier, Reddie)
I'm finally back! It's probably been a year since I posted Betrayal and shit has really hit the fan since then, but here I am a year later with part 2!
Here is a link to part 1
Warning: swearing
Aged up: 18/19
Tumblr media
You tried to catch up with Stan as he power-walked out of the house. He stopped short when he realized his car wasn't there. "Stan" You catch his attention and he turns around. His chest rising and falling at a quick pace, "You heard everything in there?" Stan's voice was quiet, much quieter than just a minute ago. You nod and he sighs. "I'm sor-" You cut him off "Don't be" You take a step forward and bring your hand up to push some curls out of his face. He leans into your hand, not stopping himself for once. No yearning, no shouting in his head over his actions. Just the feel of your soft palm against his cheek. Stan takes a deep breath, feeling himself calm down in the wake of your touch. "Can we go somewhere?" Stan's voice barely above a whisper. "Of course."
Richie leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor. He brushed his hands through his hair 'God I fucked up' "Man you really fucked up." Richie looked up. "Thanks, Bill your a real help." Bill put his hands up in defense. "I gotta say I really didn't see that one coming," Eddie spoke up. Bill and Mike nodded in agreement. "I mean I knew *something* was going on but holy shit I didn't think they were in love with each other," Beverly added. "We know Stanley's in love with her but is she in love with Stan? I mean she was just in a serious relationship like a week ago" "Yeah I wonder what happened to that relationship?" Ben's eyes sharp at Eddie, voice stiff and slightly viscous, "Alright! Alright!! None of that!" Mike's authoritative voice made it known he was seriously done with all the fighting. "She loves him" The group turned their heads at Richie's small voice, Ha stared down at the floor and spoke softly. "She may not be in love with him right now, but I could see it. She's falling for Stan."
Eddie looked over at Richie. A mix of emotions reached throughout the boy. He hated seeing Richie like this, but he also hated that it was about you. Mostly he hated that it was about you. He couldn't control it, no matter how much he wished that he could. What is it exactly that Richie is so mad at? Is he upset that he potentially ruined his relationship with Stan? Is he upset that Stan is in love with (Y/N) or that Stan claimed he neither loved nor cared about (Y/N)? Is Richie still in love with (Y/N)? If so is he mad that (Y/N) could be in love with Stan or that she is moving on so quickly? Eddie couldn't help but feel like he was still second to you. It's not like Richie chose to tell you. He kept telling Eddie that he would for at least 2 weeks, but then she found out in her own way. Eddie feared that maybe he was never gonna tell you. Or now that you found out does Richie regret it? 'Alright, Alright Eddie calm the fuck down! Just go talk to Richie.' "Eds?" "Yeah Rich." "I'm gonna go." Richie's tone sounded soft, defeated. It broke Eddie's heart to see him like this. "Yeah sure I'll go grab my keys-" Richie cut him off politely. "I'm just gonna walk. I think I wanna be alone right now. I'll call you later." Richie placed a hand on the back of Eddie's head pulling him close and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "OK. Be safe please."
"Where are we going?" You ask Stan who is driving and keeping silent. "You'll see. Um, go into the glove compartment a find the clear tape." You scrunch your eyebrows together. "You been stashing things in my glove compartment, Uris?" You found a clear tape and put it into the radio. Temptation by New Order flooded in through the speakers. A smile grew on your face as you turned the volume nob up. Stan looked over at you for a second just to see your growing smile. "I made you a tape and left it in here for the next time you complain that there's nothing good on the radio." A fit of giggles came from your mouth. "Stanley Uris made me a fucking mix-tape." You continued to laugh. It brought a smile, growing wider by the second, to see you so happy and blissful listening to your favorite music, a song he loved as well.
And I've never seen anyone quite like you before. No, I've never met anyone quite like you before.
Richie's emotions were confusing him now more than ever. He loved (Y/N). He truly did, but he just wasn't in love with her. Guilt consumes him every night before sleep and every time he sees you. He never wanted to hurt you. But when it comes to Eddie he's impulsive even a little reckless. Richie knew that he fucked up massively. Not only with you but with Stan and he even feels so with Eddie. He felt that if he just would have been honest with you before jumping into things with Eds maybe Eddie wouldn't have lost his best friend. He still couldn't wrap his head around how much of an idiot and a dick he was about Stanley. What in the fucking hell would lead him to believe that Stanley Uris of all people would fuck around with someone's feelings like that? He had already caused (Y/N) enough pain maybe he was trying to be a hero or something. Do something right for once, but of course, it was just another gigantic fuck up! Executed wonderfully by your very own Richie Tozier. Richie had noticed that he walked straight to the quarry. He picked up a stone and skipped it across the water.
Stan pulled the car over along where the road stopped and the tree's started. "Come on." Stan walked over to your side of the car and opened the door for you and held out his hand. You took his hand and walked beside him into the woods. "You trying to get me to some secret secondary location?" "What, you don't recognize where we're going?" You looked around a bit and shook your head. "Well, then I guess it will be a surprise." "I guess this is the day I get murder in the woods. Goodbye world you were never all that good to me but at least my murder is hot as hell." You almost couldn't see Stan's blush from how much he was laughing. You're hands brush as you walked close together. Stan felt a little nervous to take it, it's not like he hasn't held your hand before but right now he feels it holds so much more. 'Good' he thought to himself. 'It does mean more. Let it mean more.' He took your hand in his and warmth spread throughout the both of you. Just the two of you holding hands walking through the trees with Stan pointing out some birds to you, felt so blissful. At this moment you realized you had never felt this way with Richie. The two of you had a lot in common and play off each other well jokes and conversation-wise. But maybe that wasn't all a relationship needed. You had felt that's why Richie and you were so perfect together. Maybe this was finally the start to forgiving Richie and regaining some normalcy, realizing that maybe we weren't perfect or meant to be after all. If this is how Richie felt with Eddie you felt that you could somewhat understand why he was so in a rush to have it. It was scary how new this thing with Stan was yet how important it felt to you. You would go to the ends of the earth to protect what you had with Stan, no one in the world made you feel as safe and comforted as Stanley Uris. What Richie did, going behind your back, was in no way how he should've handled the situation. You let him into some of the most vulnerable spaces in your mind and life, entrusting him with your heart and your deepest thoughts, that you were his only person. That wasn't something easy to forgive, not something to easily recover from, especially having that trust broken with someone else with who you were very close. You may be happy and blissful at this moment, but you definitely knew the consequences of Richie's actions would come back to rear its ugly head sooner or later. But you believed that understanding was one of the first steps toward forgiveness. The more you walked the louder the sound of running water became. Soon you could even see the running water. You realized Stan had brought you to the barrens.'But why the barrens?' you thought to yourself. You reached the edge of the water and looked over to Stan. "C'mon" he grabbed your hand and stepped out onto a rock in the water. You did your best to follow, it finally dawns on you that you were headed toward the clubhouse.
When you got to the small clearing Stan went ahead and lifted the hatch to the small underground area where the losers used to hang out. "I've only been here a couple of times." You said as you climbed down the ladder. "Yeah, I guess we started hanging out other places more." Stan walked over to the hammock getting in. He smiled and reached his arms out like a little kid asking for a hug. You raised an eyebrow at him. "I know. I always feel like I'm gonna fall out of this thing, but it's safe I promise." "Okay," You say drawing out the word in a skeptical tone. You yelped as it wobbled and Stan gripped his arms around your waist as the hammock swung a little. "See, safe." You let out an amused huff and relaxed into Stan. Your back was pressed against his chest, both of your heads finding slightly uncomfortable spots in the crooks of the other's neck. "I remember one of the first times Eddie ever brought you to hang around with us was down here." Stan played with your hands in your lap. "I remember looking over and seeing you smiling, talking to Beverly. It was really hot out, your cheeks were pink. Richie gave you his shower cap and you, him, and Bill talked about comic books." You closed your eyes just listening to Stan talk softly into your hair. "Beverly came over to me when she noticed. She was joking around told me to stop staring, that it was rude. I hadn't even noticed that I was staring. I got nervous cuz, -hoping you didn't notice. You were so beautiful I couldn't help but stare." You blushed and let out a chuckle, your stomach filling up with butterflies. "I don't expect you to say back any time soon, and I in no means want to rush you, but I-" Stan paused, thinking about the impact of his words. He started to think maybe he should give you a little time, but then you leaned your head up to look at him. And when he looked down into your eyes there was no way stopping the words from falling out of his mouth. "I love you." The look in Stan's eyes was intoxicating, you could have stared in his eyes for the rest of both your lives, but instead, you brought your hand up to his jaw and tilted your head bringing yours and Stan's lips together. Equally as intoxicating as the look in his eyes. The two of you felt as if you were floating on clouds. Like you two were the only two people in the world. You pulled away and smiled, Stan pressed his forehead against yours. "I know" You and Stan laughed.
"Ok Rich. You just need to apologize. I'm sure they'll forgive you. They're your friends, basically your family." Richie walked back into town talking to himself. "And you hurt them and accused them of shitty things and now all your friends will hate you forever cuz you were a total dick and even their grandchildren will hate the name, Richie Tozier." Richie stopped for a second and groaned, rubbing his hands up and down his face under his glasses. He took a deep breath and continued walking.
Mike opened the door to Richie. "Hey man, come in." "Is Eds still here." "Yeah, he's in the living room. Rich," Mike put a hand on his shoulder. "He's worried about you. We all kinda are. There's been a lot going on with you four I just want to remind you that if you need someone to talk to we're all here for you buddy." "Thanks, man." Richie continues into the living room and sees Ben and Eddie talking. He breathes a sigh of relief, knowing how much it hurt Eddie that Ben wouldn't talk to him. They hugged and Ben got up off the couch and saw Richie. "I'm really sorry Richie. It was really rude to treat you like that-" Richie cut him off. "It's ok man really, I get it. She's your friend, I was a dick." "Yeah but you and Eddie are my friends too." "Well then what do you say Haystack," Richie extended out a hand. "Back to buds." Ben agreed and shook Richie's hand. Richie took a seat next to Eddie on the couch. "Hey, I'm glad your back I wanted to-" Richie leaned in and kissed Eddie. "As much as I love you and your adorable rambling I wanted to apologize." Eddie was suddenly very nervous. He thought to himself 'Shit this is it. He still loves Kassidy.' "Sure, Sure yeah. Umm a-about what Rich?" Richie took Eddie's hands in his fiddling with them out of nerves. "About everything. About not telling Kassidy. About not even being decent enough to break it off first so neither of you would get hurt. All of this would have been so much easier and nobody would've had to lose any friends. I'm just so sorry Eddie, I love you and I never wanted to hurt you like that." Eddie was so relieved to hear those words come out of Richie's mouth. He put a hand up to Richie's cheek and leaned to kiss him. "I love you too Richie." Richie chuckled in relief "Thank fuck."
You and Stan walked back to the car hand in hand. "So what do you wanna do now? " You leaned your back up against the car door "Oh I don't know maybe some more of this." Stan leaned himself against the car by his forearm and with his other hand lifted your chin, leaning down connecting your lips. You hummed against his lips. "Well, I do love doing that." "Do you want to go back to your place-" Stan pressed a small kiss on your neck "Watch a movie." "Shit!" Stan's head shot up. "I left my house keys at Bens." "We can sneak through your bedroom window." You push yourself off of the car, past Stan, and walked to the other side pulling your door open. "I don't wanna go back there either but with any luck, Richie won't be there." Stan groaned and got into the car.
You wrapped your knuckles on the door and Mike opened it with a smile. "I just forgot my keys." Mike let you in past him to the table where the keys sat. You quickly walked over to the table and grabbed your keys. Turning around back towards the door you catch Richie staring from the couch next to Eddie. For once you didn't feel the wind knocked out of you. But you couldn't say that the feeling of wanting to punch him had dulled any. You carried on toward the door when Richie called out your name. You sighed and banged your head on Mike's front door and contemplated for a second whether or not you should pretend you didn't hear him and keep walking. Apparently, you had stayed there a bit too long. Richie tapped two fingers on your shoulder. "I was just wondering if you would let me talk at you for a second. You don't need to say anything, or react in any way really-" You turned around and put your hands on his shoulders. He froze silent as you drew a deep breath. "I forgive you." It wasn't easy to say, you weren't even sure it was true. A part of you wanted to keep him dangling in wonder and guilt but you knew that you would eventually fully forgive him and the more you saw him moping around the more you would most likely enjoy watching him suffer for what he did. But if he just thought that you had forgiven him then maybe he would go back to his old trashmouth self and you all could move on.
Richie was taken by surprise, to say the least. He felt relief for a fleeting moment until he remembers Stan. "He's out in the car" He heard him speak softly. She somehow always knew what was going on inside his head, that's what made him think that she was so great, that they would be so great together. Against your better judgment, you grimaced and said, "I can give you five minutes. But he has the car keys so I can't promise he won't dive off on you." Richie threw his arms around you and squeezed you, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" "Yeah, sure get off me" He smiled at you, "Sorry." As Richie walked out the door he turned back to you, "He wouldn't drive off without his best girl." Richie started making trumpets sound in the tune of 'A Long Long Time' by Kitty Kallen and closed the door. You rolled your eyes as you and Mike laughed
Richie fell silent as he walked up to your car with Stan in the front seat. He raised his hand and tapped on the window. Stan kept his stare forward and locked the car door. Richie sighed. "Stan please." Richie heard the click of the car doors unlock and walked around to the other side and got in. "I'm so sorry. I was being a complete shit of a person and totally overreacted. I do care about her, I do! That's why I got so angry and it totally fucked up my judgment." Stan wasn't saying anything and it started to make Richie even more nervous. "I was angry and confused and I honestly don't know where all of that came from. That's not what I think of you at all, you gotta know that, Stan. You're one of my best friends and the best dude I know and I'm so sorry I said all of those things. I know I really fucked up." The two of them sat and stared out the windshield, Richie's leg bounced up and down from nerves until Stanley broke the silence. "I'm sorry too. That I turned my back on you. I couldn't understand how you had the most perfect girl right in front of you and seeing you hurt her made me angry too. I mean we all saw you and Eddie happening eventually, but I didn't think you two would go and do that. I love her and I guess I let that get in the way of our friendship." "I mean dude I don't really think I could blame you. I've seen the way she looks at you. It can make someone do stupid and crazy things." "Well then I guess that explains why you are so stupid and crazy," Stan laughed, "Eddie looks at you like that 24\7." Richie turned away laughing and hoped it hid the bright red flush on his cheeks. "I can't believe she actually forgave me." "Yeah me neither, to be honest." Stanley dead-panned. "Buuut," Stan took a calming deep breath, "If she can forgive you, then I guess I should too."
Eddie walked up to (Y\N) hesitantly as she was laughing with Mike. Mike saw Eddie and took that as his cue to leave, or rather to eavesdrop from the kitchen with Beverly, Ben, and Bill.
"Thanks for uh.. for forgiving Richie, he's been a wreck," Eddie said. "N-not that I've been fine! I-I feel completely terrible for what I did. But I mean I-I-I'm not trying to make you feel bad for me or anything. O-or for Richie. I just mean that we're both really sorry. I'm so, so very sorry (Y/N)." Eddie stammered through quickly. Man, do your shoes look mighty interesting at that moment. 'You forgave Richie why is it so hard to forgive Eddie. Maybe because we only gave Richie a premature apology so we could all get back to normal? Should I have to do that with Eddie too? Fuck that neither of them deserves it!' You fought back and forth with yourself in your head before finally looking up at Eddie. You took a deep breath, "I know...I-" Eddie cut you off "You don't have to." "I feel like I should." "You already kinda forgave Richie I know that's a big thing so you can hate me for as long as you need I deserve it." You smiled at Eddie and walked out of the house. Richie saw you walking towards the car and stepped out leaving the door open for you. You got in and leaned over to Stanley cupping the side of his face to bring him closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Stan started the car as you buckled. You tucked your legs up onto the seat and curled up to get comfy. Stan rests his hand over on one of your legs as you closed your eye
taglist: @elisaa-shelby @trashxqueen @igotahammer @pillowjj @screechinglawyer @campcampie
184 notes · View notes