#these might get more specific at some point i'm still working on posting schedules and a lot of back-end things to make things easier on me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dnalt-d2 · 2 months

Text

(Please note: I am only going to speak about things that are verifiable, either by Lea, who we know for a fact at this point was an admin, or by our own observations, like hearing what's happening on certain streams, or other verifiable announcements. I don't want to talk too much on things outside of that because it could technically be speculation, and I don't want to mislead anyone. I will do my best to state what is and isn't speculation in order to keep confusion to a minimum. I'm also going to remain as impartial as possible, and only provide facts as they've been presented to us. This is basically just meant to be to organize some of the things going on into one post so that people who aren't on Twitter can get a good idea of what's going on instead of just hearing it from people who keep vaguely doom-posting)

So as has been the case for the last couple weeks, the Admin Situation continues to unfold. In a manner of speaking, at least

Since Quackity made his initial statements, we haven't gotten any sort of concrete news from him, or even an acknowledgement that things are still developing. Like I've said in my previous post, I haven't been expecting any concrete updates, since that sort of thing would most likely be sensitive information that he legally can't share. However, I do find it disheartening that he has continued moving forward without so much as acknowledging the situation

I do understand that a lot of current plans have been in the works for a while now, and couldn't be pushed back that far without detrimentally affecting other people, including the new streamers who likely carved out large chunks of their schedule out specifically for QSMP. So keeping the server closed for too long could have easily had negative effects on many people, including the Admins. But I want to say that I just don't know everything going on behind the scenes, and this isn't fact. It's just what I understand to be happening

And while we still haven't gotten any official statements regarding the Admins since Quackity's statement, things have still been happening, most of which we are probably never going to hear about. Some of which though, we are hearing, and it's not sounding that great, unfortunately

Do keep in mind however, that the following is just what we're hearing about, and because of the NDAs in place, we likely CAN'T hear about anything else, including any potential positive changes that might be taking place. We still aren't going to hear about any changes until they're concrete. This has only been taking place for a couple of weeks, and none of the changes can be made immediately. With that in mind, here's some of the verifiable information that has been making the rounds recently

As I've stated before, the French Union has gotten involved, and by this point, has stated that the Admins CAN potentially pursue legal action if they so choose. However, I want to emphasize that this doesn't mean legal action is guaranteed. This just means they have the OPTION to do so. Which by the sounds of things, it doesn't seem like anyone wants to do that as of right now. This is essentially just one more thing to give leverage to the Admins, letting them and Quackity know that they have that right. But if things can improve, they don't need to take them

(Link to their English post here)

As of now, one of the higher-ups in Quackity Studios, Jose, has been tweeting out that he is speaking with other Admins/Ex-Admins about everything going on, and gathering testimony in a document to present to Quackity. Last we heard, he was still gathering testimony and speaking to lawyers to ensure that everything he was doing was legal. And that as of now, organizing a meeting with Quackity himself has been a little difficult, I believe for scheduling reasons, as well as the fact that he's still gathering information (I was actually hoping to wait until this document was out to make another post about all this, but people keep acting like things are only going downhill, and I wanted to go ahead and give my two cents)

(Links to his posts can be found here and here)

We have also heard about 2 Admins quitting in the last couple days. Pancks, who was the roleplayer behind Agent 18 and Xaninho the Capybara, as well as other Portuguese-speaking NPCs. He has not given a clear reason for quitting aside from the fact that he feels he is done with this chapter of his career and wants to do other things. He has also asked us not to speculate his reason for leaving, which I am going to respect

(Link to his post here)

The other Admin who quit is a writer named Ana, who put out a statement saying that she was removed from most of her roles without being given a clear reason, while other writers still retain theirs. She states that her main reason for leaving is the lack of communication since things have gone down, which is not a great sign

(Link to her post here and her document here)

Lastly, we know that merch is currently being announced. So far we have 4 standees of the Eggs, Dapper, Trump, Leo(?), and Pomme, and will probably get more in the next few days. I want to point out that it's incredibly unlikely for this to have ONLY been started for the current situation. I'm personally assuming it was originally meant to be for the 1-Year Anniversary of QSMP starting, but has been pushed forward slightly to help raise funds for everything going on. Organizing merch production usually takes a while, which is the only reason I'm assuming that this isn't just coming out of nowhere

To wrap up, things haven't resolved yet. And that makes sense

Reorganizing an entire business takes time, even for people who are experienced in that sort of thing. But from what I understand, Quackity is not, and that's likely what led to this situation in the first place. Anyone trying something this big is bound to mess up, and unfortunately, this just happens to be a VERY big mess-up. Not too big to fix, but big enough to be difficult. And while we are hearing about some negative things happening, I want to remind everyone ONCE AGAIN, that we will not know anything until it's concrete, good or bad. The people speaking up don't seem to be doing so with any ill will, and many of them still seem to see QSMP as a positive experience overall. Just one that needs to be improved upon for the better of everyone involved. Right now, I'd say the main problem is, once again, communication. It's unfortunate that people keep bringing up how they haven't heard about anything going on, and that is very understandable. It's hard being kept in the dark on something like this, especially for people who were actually personally involved prior to this

The Admins/Ex-Admins have every right to be impatient on this because they're the ones being impacted the most. Because they've likely been patient for far longer than we have, and know a lot more about what's happening. That's why Lea has been doing her best to be vocal and support the current Admins and pressure Quackity Studios, even with the harassment she's apparently getting for doing so

But for us, who are simply viewers, just doom-posting and assuming the worst won't help. (AND NEITHER WILL HARASSING PEOPLE) Yes, we should be vocal in our support for the people affected, but there will be a point where shouting into the void is gonna be more detrimental than helpful. I believe that by now, we've gotten our point across. That Quackity and Quackity Studios know that we don't want to support a project that has to take advantage of people to keep it running. I'm not saying to let everything go completely. I would personally advise that people who want to should stay as educated as possible, and help educate anyone who wants to know what's going on

But if this is still affecting your mental and emotional well-being, stepping back and waiting to see what happens is probably the best move you can make. Spreading outright negativity won't help you, and it won't help the other people involved. I know that sometimes not knowing things can cause a lot of anxiety. Heck, that's why I make these posts, so I can help other people know what's going on. But other times, it can be entirely counterproductive. It's why I try not to doom-scroll through most social media in general, because I know that sometimes knowing more just means having more to worry about. It's up to you guys to find the balance that helps you, and I hope you all take care of yourselves in spite of everything going on

#qsmp #qsmp admin situation #admin situation #qsmp quackity #quackity

83 notes · View notes

justladders · 7 months

Text

A Thing About Asks

Just wanted to talk about something that's been happening to me a lot more as of late and figured it needed to be its own post.

I get your all's asks. I see them and get an idea for something to say back. Since this is an art blog, a lot of the time the ask is something art related, which means drawing something to answer them.

I have a lot to do irl, outside of the internet, outside of this site. When I get on Tumblr, I want to look at/laugh with/share art and whatnot. This is basically the one place I go for that. When I'm free at home, I get to spend some time of that time drawing for myself, for projects, and even for answering asks.

I like getting asks. I like when people have something they're curious about, want to share, or want an opinion on, and it's nice to know there are people that are comfortable with bringing some of those questions/ideas to me. And yet, asks are not my #1 priority. I have things I already want to make. It's why I do any art at all. I have jokes, designs, concepts, and stories that I want to put down and be able to share. Replying to asks that bring something new to the table is fun too, and sometimes that's what I feel like doing when I get my free time.

I have some very old asks that I still haven't gotten to. It's not even that I don't want to answer them, but I find motivation to create certain and specific things to be extremely fickle. I'll answer asks out of order: some very old, some literally as soon as I get them. I don't try to pick and choose, I just draw whatever whenever I have the drive to.

But.

Spamming the inbox doesn't make me answer faster. In fact, it makes me want to not answer at all, because I don't condone or want to reward that kind of behavior.

An ask is not a free pass to *demand* art. I should make a point that I don't think of a lot of asks I get as being like this. I understand that the thing about being an art blog means lots of questions for/about/of characters that I draw, and I like that. It's fun to create interactions and that kind of thing. I don't think everyone that has an ask about potentially drawing something is "trying to get free art," there are just some people that will repeatedly hound as if they are owed something. (It's sometimes hard to tell if an ask even sent -I know, I use this site too- so I don't consider it badgering if you're like, "I can't actually tell if that worked so sorry if this is a repeat.")

Asks are not a contract. And certainly not a timed one. In relation to the last point, I and other artists are not "obligated" to get to asks "on time." Receiving an ask doesn't mean the artist has to drop everything to go answer it, use up their free time, etc. If they want to respond, they will. You might not even know them. You might just be a complete stranger to them. You might not know what their day or schedule looks like. They don't have to set aside whatever they're doing to answer.

This isn't because I'm mad, it just feels like this doesn't ever get addressed and needed to be.

#justtalks #asks #tumblr #text #long post #the words “ask“ and ”asks“ have lost all meaning oop #99% of yall are not like this though. i just needed to talk about it

136 notes · View notes

drippingmoon · 5 months

Text

Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me.

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots.

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly.

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

#ayearofwriting #2023 #aquiver-aglow #aberration of sunlight

61 notes · View notes

herotome · 7 months

Text

Devlog #120

Hi-ho, Wudge here. Early devlog...!

This week I drew a blush just for Warden and nobody else. There are two very specific ways to see it, and only in this office location. So... good luck!

I playtested the game enough to get allllllll 26 achievements. I actually... had to reference my own walkthrough to get one of them. ;;; But I was able to do it!!

I also had a small.. incident where Griffin promised he'd talk to everyone to help fix their negative opinions of me (aka, reset the approval points to a more neutral zone after I thoroughly antagonized everybody).... and then he didn't. It's fixed now ;;;;;; But woo that would have been an awful lil mistake hahaha.

I finished the 'updating ur mc pfp' tutorial - seems to be intuitive and working seamlessly enough!

I converted converted alllll the pngs into webps, and converted alllllllllll the mp3s and wavs into oggs...

...and deleted all unnecessary files and notes from the development process. This is usually the stage where I'll end up breaking something from accidentally nuking an important file... but so far so good.

I put in a cute, special lil sfx for the reward you get after the credits.

Finish designing and coding my SECRET NG+ screen, and wrote a personalized dev note to put in it.

And - we've finally updated Mr Whidden! Wahoo!!!! Remnantation did an amazing job as always!

I thought about putting in some animated smoke coming out of his cannon arm but I had to tell myself No... No Wudge....stop.. ......I did add a lil ember and smoke at the very edge of the gun but THATS IT I restrained myself there and did not animate!!!

So, what else is left?

Thanks I'm glad you asked.

Test my email subscription service to see how much I can customize those emails.

Film and upload the Griffin CG video.

Finish and import a few final pieces of in-game art (1 bird sprite, 1 background, some food art).

Review some sound effects in a final, final dev playtest.

Schedule out some social media release posts; wherein I might do like, a week of counting down until the game's release.

Finish updating my itch page (adding the final few lil graphics, putting up the new Content Warning, linking to the new video, then finally, uploading the game files and walkthrough).

Decide how I'm gonna update my pinned post. I should save a link to the old one bc most of its information should be quite relevant, but I'll want a temporary, shorter pinned post for new players who aren't familiar with this blog and are looking to troubleshoot or say hi or something.. Should still have fun attention-grabbing gifs and stuff from the itch page though. <_<

.... So yeah, mostly like - social media promo stuff. That should be it. Fingies crossed. Whew.

By the way?

Super Demo comes out December 2nd. Mark your calendars <3

Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

#herotome update #amareteabreak #oelvn #visual novel #superheroes #otome game #otome #interactive fiction #english otome #fiction #indie dev #indie otome #indie game #indie games

80 notes · View notes

pomplalamoose · 7 months

Note

So Luke's SO is on her period, how does he take care of her? (skip it if you're uncomfortable with this topic <3)

Hiii anon, thanks for the ask! I was just thinking about that a few days ago so I added some extra ideas I had, hopefully you don't mind🩵

• since Luke is a very caring person, you can be sure he'll be there for you to rely on during your period and truly do his best to make you more comfortable

• although with varying degrees of success

• he always means well, of course, but especially a younger Luke from ANH wouldn't really know what to do at first

• I have no idea if there is a stable educational system on Tatooine (but somehow I doubt it)

• even if one exists, I imagine most children of moisture famers get homeschooled so they are able to help their family out at work

• I'm sure that Luke's aunt and uncle did their best to properly prepare him for life, possibly including parts of sex education too

• however I don't think this went much further than telling him how children come into existence

• he might know that periods exists and that they aren't exactly a pleasant experience

• still it will probably be up to you to tell him about the specifics

• he will take you very serious right from the very start though

• maybe a little bit too serious

• I can totally see him freaking out over the amount of blood loss until you explain that it's natural and you won't die

• for some time he'll stay wary though, eyeing you suspiciously to make sure you're telling the truth

• (like a very concerned puppy)

• he'd be one to hover, unable to leave you out of his sight and end up making you nervous with all his fussing

• please, he wants to help!

• tell him what he can do for you and he will!!!

• PLEASE

• he'll be immensely relieved, when after a week, you are still very much alive and well

• if you tend to have mood swings you'll probably end up scaring him once or twice before he really gets what's going on

• Luke would never belittle your pain in any way

• not as an uneducated young man, nor when he's older and more experienced

• first of all he would never do this to anyone

• second of all he will be able to feel your pain through his sensitivity in the Force

• if you let him he'll try to relieve it, maybe share it with you so you don't have to carry the burden on your own

• there has to be a way right?

• if there isn't he'll figure something out himself, after all Force healing is a thing too

• alternatively he'll gather information about herbs or pain killers

• he'd be so very understanding too

• he lets you cry in his arms, easily weathers your anger and is happy when you are

• the patience he has for you is endless

• maybe not during his younger years but post ROTJ for sure

• he's very amused if you have the weirdest food cravings

• also he'd keep a secret stash of your favorite snacks somewhere so you never run out and he doesn't have to go hunt them down in the middle of the night

• when he can't be with you while you're on your period, say for example during ESB, he'll try to get in contact with you as often as possible so you don't feel left alone

• at some point he'd definitely know the schedule of your cycle better than you do

• you're suddenly devastated out of nowhere and he'll be like "aren't you starting your period next week, bunny?"

• he'd never make you feel embarrassed or uneasy about anything related to it

• should you happen to bleed through your clothes or the bed sheets, he even tries to whisk them away before you notice

• he doesn't want you to stress over more than you have to

• if you allow him into your mind to sense your needs he'll know what you require before you do

• otherwise he'll ask you to tell him

• not as desperate as when he was younger but he still wants to let you know he's always there should you need him

• that of course includes giving you space if it's what you prefer

• if you're especially needy though, he'll somehow make this fit into his schedule as well

• he's basically ready to jump at any opportunity to care for you

• he makes you laugh

• he buys you flowers

• and your favorite food or snack

• alternatively he cooks for you too

• he'll make you tea/coffee/any other favorite beverage of yours

• he gives you tummy rubs

• or massages to ease your pain

• secretly he's thrilled to have an excuse to touch you

• (he likes taking bubbly baths with you as well)

• if you are able to go on with your days just as you usually do he'll be very impressed but also worried

• I don't think he'd tell you so, he knows you are capable and strong and doesn't want to undermine this

• however, for his own peace of mind, he'll regularly check in on you to see if you're still doing okay

• only rarely will he actually intervene and tell you to go sit down or to remember to drink enough

• (if this happens he won't back down until you've done as he told you to)

• furthermore (this wasn't part of the ask but it's important to meee) I want to talk about how he'd handle this as a Master

• obviously he will be responsible for the education of many

• and due to the probable multitude of his Padawan's origins he'd make an effort be very well informed about every single aspect and difference in physics there is

• like with everything else he wants his students to trust him, to see him as a steady pillar in their life

• thus he will often encourage them to ask all the questions they want and to bring their concerns and health matters to him

• he wants them to know that no one has to be ashamed of their body

• if someone is on their period and not feeling well, they will get to rest

• of course he encourages his students to partake in their lessons anyways but none of them will get into any trouble if they simply can't

• he would never force anyone through exercises their body can not handle

• I'm sure he'll put aside extra time for those who especially struggle with pain to show them a good way to handle it

• he wants for all his students to be equally well equipped in any situation without having to suffer any disadvantages due to different physics

#ask #luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker x you #luke star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars #fanfic #star wars a new hope #star wars empire strikes back #star wars return of the jedi #star wars headcanons #headcanons #luke skywalker fanfiction

51 notes · View notes

tunedtostatic · 3 months

Text

Blog updates 2024 edition, or more specifically, one big, potentially very good update: Last year when I did my 2023 blog updates, almost but not quite a year ago now, I said I might be within a month or so of things no longer being in serious crisis/my life being basically okay-adjacent. It is hard to write this even now but it turned out that that didn't work out - things did get better, especially for a chunk of six months in the middle of the year when I had safe housing and things felt wonderful compared to the last few years, but neither external circumstances nor my own ability to deal with {PTSD, external circumstances, &c} got to the point hoped for where I would be able to say "I'm living a life where things are more or less normal and okay." Even though I never quite reached things being okay-adjacent during that chunk of months and things got not great again end of summer to now, having that time of things being close to almost okay-adjacent was a very important springboard to me for make it to a point now where I might be within reach of actually okay-adjacent.

Right now, what I said last year about potentially being within a month or so of things being basically okay is potentially true again, and I think I have a better shot at it this time for both external reasons and personal "knowing more about what to do to get safe and having my shit together" reasons. I might be within reach of things being okay-adjacent and feeling like I have a real normal life outside of crises (here defined as safe housing, employment, no people hurting me in my immediate vicinity, financial and scheduling ability to manage physical medical issues on a day to day basis while still eating without mental health issues getting in the way of that, clothing in drawers not trash bags, nothing actively medically scary).

If so this will be for the first time since 2018 so of course it's a big deal to me. Right now of course I'm both excited and relieved things might work out soon and terrified that they won't.

Meanwhile (the reason beyond updating that I'm posting this!), as I get ready to fully move into the place that will hopefully be the "safe housing" part of this, it's been really hitting me that even though living a life that is normal-adjacent and okay-adjacent will inherently be orders of magnitude better than the last 5+ years and of course I'm prepared to be extremely grateful for that, I'm still going to have all the grief and emptiness I have now. Even though I will as always be (too) busy in some ways trying to get everything done in a day while dealing with chronic pain, no longer having so much time soaked up trying to survive whatever the problem of the week or PTSD meltdown of the day is means that I'm going to have hours and hours of empty time to fill every week.

When I talk about loss I know some people's minds will jump to the worst case personal scenarios so I will clarify that I am fortunate that by grief I don't mean the death of an immediate family member, not that kind of grief. A lot of different things - people who have been awful, deaths, horribleness in my neighborhood that was like family, lost time, and all the losses prior to the last few years in some ways since grief doesn't fully go away, and then things like a close friendship breakup last year that is not as painful as any of the above since we are both alive and managed to be kind to each other throughout the breakup but it's still over. It has been hitting me that a lot of the work of grieving everything from the past couple decades, like the work of dealing with PTSD, is what I had to get through these past couple years to have a chance of getting my shit together, but now that I've made enough headway on the work of grieving to be able to have a chance at my life being okay, the losses and emptiness themselves will still be there ("still be gone"?)

If anyone has suggestions for fun stuff to do, book and movie recommendations, &c, it would be a really good time for them! If anyone can recommend social stuff, e.g. friendly good-boundary-having discord servers, that would be amazing. I think y'all know my favorite things in fiction and music (fiddles, writing fanfic that comes to a screeching halt 2-3 times a chapter to talk about food, thoughtful meditations on torture?, swords) but I'm usually down to at least give media outside my wheelhouse a try.

21 notes · View notes

shoosiopao · 6 months

Text

🍞 lately ...

recently, i've been trying to avoid digitally keeping track of my productivity. it's quite a difficult thing for me to tackle, as i've been heavily relying on my devices for pretty much everything! gradually, i will be moving more towards non-digital methods, such as traditional journals and planners.

the most distracting thing that i am aiming to tackle is my reliance on my phone. my screentime has been crazy and i'm not proud of it, considering that most of that time was social media. due to this, i am going to start using my phone as a tool; to transform its purpose from just being a distraction to being used to make productivity an easier process. it will be a difficult transition, so i don't expect myself to achieve this goal overnight. instead, i will take specific steps towards this goal. as of lately, i've been deleting instagram when i find myself getting looped up in the algorithm. i am aiming to get to a point where i can delete the app and only download it once a day to check any messages, then delete it again. i still use it for communication with friends and family, so i don't see myself deleting it permanently any time soon.

in general, i've also just been trying to avoid digital methods of productivity! it's not as big of a priority as avoiding my phone, but so far, i think i'm doing well! i have learned that if you write your goals down on paper, you will feel more inclined to work towards it, so i've been using my planner and journal recently! i used to use todomate for my daily todos, but i found that i am more successful when i actually write my tasks down on paper. i still use notion and google sheets on my laptop, but not as much as i used to. setting my goals on notion didn't help me much since i would rarely ever read them again. so now, i use notion as a kind of a database (?) for my ideas. i might explain more about it in a future post! as for google sheets, i've been using it to make trackers for myself. for example, i used to use yeolpumta to keep track of my study time but i eventually found it to be inconvenient because of how frequently i would have to unlock my phone to start and stop the timer. now, i just keep track of how many pomodoro sessions i complete, then record it on my google sheet tracker at the end of the day. this way, i am able to put my phone out of sight and out of mind!

lastly, i have been using google calendar for time blocking. but i have realized that i often don't commit to my schedule, so i am wondering if time blocking in my planner might be better. i might try it out soon! i want to make a big post before the start of the next quarter about some productivity tips, so i'll be testing different methods and report on what works for me!

45 notes · View notes

breelandwalker · 11 months

Note

not sure if anyone else has asked this recently but my internet is too slow to do a deep dive in the archives rn so - do you have any advice for avoiding/preventing/dealing with a lot of 'backsnap' from spells? i.e. the wave of exhaustion/general physical and emotional crumminess after doing some heavy work. it's entirely possible that this specific instance i'm experiencing could be allergies or an oncoming cold, but since it hit me right after i spent an evening doing the first serious amount of spell-casting i've expended effort on in months, i'm inclined to connect it at least a little bit. now i'm wondering how best to bounce back or prevent it from hitting so hard in the future (aside from obvious health-boosting things like rest, water, vitamin c, etc). is it just a matter of exercise makes the muscle stronger or should i really not be neglecting to ward up first in my impatience to get to the fun part?

Good question!

This is something I hear about frequently enough that I feel comfortable calling it a common occurrence. Doing heavy, involved, or prolonged spellwork is taxing in the same way that any other task requiring a lot of focus or mental or emotional energy might be. I don't know that there's a way of wholesale avoiding it, per se, but you can mitigate it in a few ways with a little bit of preparation. You've got the right idea here, so allow me to offer just a few additional tips.

Set up your workspace ahead of time and make sure you have all your materials ready to go and within easy reach. Try to eliminate distractions and as many potentials for interruption as you can. The less frustration, distractions, or derailment you have during a casting, the easier it is and the less exhausted you'll be afterward.

Make sure you're rested, hydrated, and not running on empty or heading for a caffeine crash or the tail end of a medication cycle if you take dailies. Take a few minutes to calm yourself and focus on the task at hand before you begin. If you have any preferred grounding and centering techniques, definitely employ those. I've found that just taking a moment to bring myself into the present and sort of zoom in on what I'm doing has helped more than casting extra wards just for the sake of one spell.

If you're feeling ill or overtired or like you're on your last spoon, maybe do your spell another day. I know magical timing is a thing some witches rely upon, but there's almost always a way to spin timing to your benefit, and spellcasting should NEVER take precedence over your health.

Keep in mind, all of this is to MITIGATE the post-casting crash, not prevent it. It's still a good idea to rest afterward, maybe have a snack and hydrate again. Just make sure you clean up anything that needs cleaning, extinguish all fire hazards, and put up any materials that you don't want kids or pets getting into or that might be a trip hazard. (You do NOT want to skip this step and end up cracking a toe on your cauldron the next morning, TRUST ME.)

It does get easier as you go on. There's a reason we call witchcraft a practice - it takes PRACTICE. Doing small-to-medium spells and periodic exercises may help things go more smoothly, since you don't have to think about it as much once you've got the hang of things. (I try to do a little something every day and I have easy charms built into my schedule for this purpose.) Large, involved castings will still wear you out, not much to be done about that.

I have some other tips for battling inspirational slumps and blockages and helpful hints for your spellwork here:

My Intuitive Spark Feels Low - How Do I Get It Back?

I’m In A Slump - How Do I Get Out Of It?

I’ve Reached A Stopping Point - What Do I Do Next?

How Do I Make A Magic Circle For Spellcasting?

What Happens If I Get Interrupted While Casting A Spell?

Do I Need To Maintain Positive Vibes For My Spells To Work?

Hope this helps! 😊

#july-19th-club #witch community #witchcraft #witchblr #battling the slump #baby witch #Advice for Beginner Witches #Bree answers your inquiries

58 notes · View notes

idoodlestuffsometimes · 1 year

Text

Brother's Keeper AU:

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How did Caleb live so long? How can he still be here after 400 years?

A: Belos wanted him to stick around and so he made it happen. As for specifics: *shrugs* your guess is as good as mine! This is something I've preferred to leave up to the readers. I will simply confirm that he isn't hiding any goop powers or OP palisman-given magical abilities. He is, for all intents and purposes, a regular human who is somehow really, really old.

Q: If Caleb is still alive, where did Hunter come from?

A: The full story here hasn't been told yet, but you may notice Caleb is missing quite a few bones...

Q: Caleb's ears are pointed! Did Belos cut them??

A: Correct

Q: Does Caleb know about the Collector/the basilisks/Belos' plans?

A: Probably! He's been Belos' sounding board for 400 years. Access to things that could "further corrupt him" or provide him a tool for escape, however, are off limits, so there are many things, like the Collector, that he's heard about but never seen for himself.

Q: Where's Flapjack/Amity/Darius/etc?

A: This is basically a canon divergence. If you haven't seen a particular character, it's safe to assume for now that they're up to whatever they were doing in canon.

Q: I don't get it. Why is Caleb insane?

A: I suggest you reread the first few story posts, my friend! You have fallen for Belos' lies.

Q: Do you have a posting schedule? When will the next part come out?

A: There is no posting schedule. I draw (mostly but not always) traditionally in my free time, for the fun of telling a cool story, and some posts are longer than others. That means the timing of the next post depends on how long it is, how much time I have, and whether or not I'm at home with access to my scanner. Sometimes this means I post quickly. Sometimes it means you'll see me next month. Sorry about that.

Just know that if I know there's going to be an extended wait, especially one where I'm not actively working on the next drawing, I will make an announcement about it. If you haven't seen an update in a while but I also haven't said anything, it's almost definitely because I'm actively chipping away at a part of the story that's taking me longer.

Q: Why do some of the story posts have a letter after the number? Are these less important than the regular story posts? Can I skip them?

A: No, I Do Not Recommend skipping them! They are just as important as the others. They have a letter on the end because they were added later and I use letters as a way to avoid renumbering everything. If you see story posts labeled something like "3, 3A, 4", they are meant to be read the same as you would if they were "3, 4, 5".

Q: Can I make art/fic/cosplay of this au?

A: Knock yourself out! If you post it somewhere, please include credit, but otherwise I don't mind, and actually love seeing what you do with it! If it's NSFW though, please keep it in appropriate spaces with proper warnings.

Q: Wait there's fic/fanart?? Can I see?

A: If you look through the tag on my blog "BK fridge gallery" you can browse any content shared with me that I've reblogged. :) People are free not to share it with me too though, and there are some I don't reblog, especially if its gorey or suggestive, so you might be able to find a bit more elsewhere under the Brother's Keeper AU name if you look for it.

You may also notice I have a featured tag called "BK Soundtrack." That's for songs that people have suggested to go with the AU. You are welcome to browse or suggest songs of your own ;)

Q: :( I sent an ask but you didn't answer. Did you get it?

A: Probably, yes. Sometimes it takes me a few days to get to it. However, if it was theorizing about future plot points, I may actually be holding onto it with plans to answer at a more appropriate time. I like to keep many of my plans for the story close to the chest, so don't be surprised if your theory ask disappears only to show up many months later when the story has progressed to a point where I can give you a more in depth answer.

#Brother's Keeper AU #doodletext #putting this together for the repeat questions! Will add to the master post later.

75 notes · View notes

justatalkingface · 1 year

Note

Hey! I've been reblogging some of your stuff and throwing my two cents in what I think. So I come here with a simple question...

What're your thoughts on Shota Aizawa?

Because for me, he's no different than the teachers in Aldera when it comes to handling Izuku. He's also a flatout hypocrite by getting onto All Might for favoring Izuku when he does the same with Hitoshi.

And I'm not even mentioning how he uses his trauma to justify his bs teaching ways

...Hahahahaha! So, you have no way of knowing this, but I've basically been preparing for this moment, to make this rant, for the longest time. More than probably any other character in this series, I've thought about Aizawa, tried to put into words what bugged me about him, scoured the internet for opinions to broaden my understanding, to find the right words. Quite a few posts have been yours, actually.

The short answer is that, simply, I hate him. Once I got past his Kakashi Aura from my first impression, I didn't like him, but fandom hype for Dadzawa, as well as the fact that usually comes with horrifying levels of bashing for people like All Might (ironically, perhaps the most unsung hero in the setting, seeing how few people seem to like his character) curdled it deep into loathing. Still, I'm going to be try to be objective as I talk.

The long answer is more complicated, and very, very long, but still overwhelmingly negative. For me, part of it is that Aizawa is easily the winner of the title of being The Favored Mouthpiece. This is a mixed blessing for him, to say the least; on the positive side, this fact has done a lot for his positive reception and total screen time, the the narrative bends over backwards to agree with what he says, time and time again. On the negative... for all that I'm aware that he's just lines on paper, on deeply visceral level I have sympathetic disgust for all the times he's been used like a puppet to parrot one agenda or another, and it muddles the water on who his character actually is. Honestly, it's been going on for so long, and it's still going on, I wonder if I should just... accept these random outbursts as part of his actual characterization.

At a fundamental level, I've had this question burning inside of me for a long time now: does this man even want to be a teacher? No, this is a serious question: he is effectively working two jobs, and managing it terribly (unlike every other UA teacher, who are all heroes for no apparent reason, and especially Present Mic who somehow has three jobs and still is full of energy. Does that man ever sleep?). He seems to hate the daylight. He seems to hate being clean. He seems to hate children. He hates, if not teaching, then teaching people that don't vibe on his level. He hates being on a schedule. He hates following authority. Really the only part of being teacher he does probably like is the actual paycheck.

So, again, why is he a teacher? I know he likes taking someone under his wing, but that use of a singular pronoun was very specific: he wants one person, one that fills whatever bizarre and unknown criteria, to teach (I'm still not sure what made him look at about five minutes of Shinso and say, 'This, this is the child I shall give all my skills, all my knowledge, and even my physics defying combat weapon.' Like, do they have to be his mini-me? Bear the soul of Grumpy Cat? I really don't know), an apprentice, not students plural. From what I gleaned from the Vigilante manga (which I should probably reread at some point), it's that desire, but misunderstood, combined with nostalgia, loneliness (his friends were already at UA) and peer pressure, that motivated him to start teaching at UA.

I don't really need to say it, but those are terrible reasons to become a teacher, and probably help explain why he's so bad at it.

Before I get into that, I want to address one thing: I've seen, online, that Aizawa's role as homeroom teacher is something completely different in Japan than it is for anywhere English speaking. So these various comments and what not say is, in Japan, these home room teachers aren't actually supposed to teach. They're supposed to be... something like councilors, I believe: they stay with the children and help guide them, and so on, and that's why he's a better teacher than we think he is. I've never actually seen anyone counter that argument, just agree, and I've had this response waiting for a long time now: when do you see Aizawa do that?

I know the Final Exam arc is supposed to show us that, yes, Aizawa is perceptive and does notice things about his students, and does care, but that's shit. His inner monologue tells us about Momo and her lack of self confidence. The implication of that, that he's only dealing with this now, means he's been sitting on this for... how long? However long he noticed that, I guess? So, from a time period ranging between the first day of class, and just before they prepared for the test, Aizawa noticed Momo had confidence issues and apparently did nothing until that test, probably because he wanted to be 'efficient' and deal with two things at once. Why do extra work and deal with a student's issues, when you can do it while they struggle to pass their final exams? Wow. A+ job there, teach.

On Shoto... just... just no. Come back to me, someone, anyone, when Aizawa even acknowledges that that mess is made out of red flags: the fact he doesn't use half of his goddamn Quirk until Izuku beats some self reflection into him. The fact he unsubtly hates his father. The fact he doesn't seem to know how to be a normal person. The burn scar on his face when he's heat resistant. Anything. Anything. I don't expect him to look at the kid and magically realized he's abused, but there's enough there that if he's a good teacher, or councilor, or whatever, he should probably be low key probing for information on his situation, see if there's something wrong in the most general of senses, because there's clearly something wrong there.

Literally anything about Izuku or Bakugou, though I'm putting a pin on discussing that mess until later.

See, the problem with saying that Aizawa is supposed to be the class's... councilor or something, instead of a teacher, brings up the fact that he's a shit councilor. Even if it's true (I'm not Japanese, I have no idea), this doesn't make his character better, this just brings up different problems instead.

Alright, so now that that's out of the way... now I need to point out that Aizawa is a Kakashi clone, and that's a good deal of the reason he's so popular; he rode off Naruto nostalgia. Let's list off how many traits he blatantly got from him. It's more than you think!

Aizawa is like Kakashi in that: he's a teacher that doesn't want to teach, his students include the Great Hope of the setting and his 'rival', he's traumatized from a friend dying when he was young, he deals with his heavy PTSD with unhealthy coping mechanisms, he has an eye based power that turns his eyes red, he loses an eye, he takes on an apprentice that reminds him of himself and gives him his signature technique/equipment, his dead best friend is alive, his dead best friend is the enemy, his dead best friend has been heavily experimented on, his dead best friend has warping powers, his friend group consists of people more cheerful than him who respect his skills, his best friend is overwhelmingly cheery in a way that balances with his low key behavior.

...When you list it out like this, it starts to get a little nuts, doesn't it? I wonder, sometimes, how much actual thought went into the character Eraserhead, and how much was Hori just... copying the copy ninja.

Here's the problem with that though, beyond the laziness of it all: Kakashi is a ninja. He is a mercenary, a child soldier, has killed more people than we have names for in all of MHA. He lives in a military village, under a military dictatorship, and is expected to kill. The teaching system he's part of is largely involuntary, though he avoids in in part because he's so good that everyone looks the other way when he ducks out of it. These students are also ten. There is just... just so much there, so much that is utterly alien to how MHA works, that putting a copy in is... flawed, to say the least.

That's why the Bell Test Quirk Apprehension Test is so bad: Hori put that in, as a blatant echo of Kakashi testing Team Seven, without thinking once of the differences in the setting.

He's in a school, and his job is being a teacher. His literal, actual ass job is to teach students (or 'help guide them', either way). This is something he chose to do, of his own volition. Kakashi trying to ditch his potential students is him trying to avoid an unwanted burden and him avoiding poking at this massive issues with teammates and responsible and everyone he knows and loves dying around him. And when he's forced to take some on? He tries his best to teach them, and he does: think about the first Battle of the End. The way Naruto and Sasuke fought each other. Think about how Naruto used to fight. Where did he learn to throw a punch like that? Kakashi. He may show up late, but the man did his work off screen.

Aizawa trying not to teach his students is literally a man too fucking lazy to do his own job. We all know Hori retconned it with 'he just wanted them to get a taste of death' via expulsion (which, apparently in Japanese culture is something that would set them back in their prospects for life) but it's so nonsensical that it's hard to take it seriously that he just... does this. Was planning to do this the first day, because they were excited about being heros, like that deserved a taste of death (They aren't in the military, you ass, they're in high school). Is allowed to do this. That he did this to an entire class for some reason but not Bakugou, when Bakugou exists.

Which means it's time to wade into the mess that is Aizawa and Izuku and Bakugou. Let's start with Bakugou, first, since I already started.

Blatantly, obviously, Bakugou has plot armor in how people react to him, or don't, as the case may be, and one of the worst victims of it is Eraserhead. The fact that Mr. 'Taste of death' and 'Expels entire classes' doesn't at least punt Bakugou into detention, or more likely a 'taste of death' to threaten the other students (because that's how you teach your class of high schoolers! By fear!), after he actively attacks Izuku, is just... mind boggling. The way he constantly refuses to acknowledge which of them is the aggressor, which of them is the first to throw a punch, which one is constantly threatening the other....

The obvious conclusion here is that Aizawa likes Bakugou, for whatever reason, but... I don't think it's true. The thing is if he liked Bakugou, you'd think he'd... spend time with him. Try and train him. Something. But no, by and by large he acts like Bakugou doesn't exist, right until Hori needs someone to compliment him for the readers, or someone to defend him after he does something bad, yet again, and then all of a sudden he's singing his praises. This is where the downsides of being The Favored Mouthpiece comes in: every time he's complimented Bakugou, every time he's said that this mess of a child is going to be a great hero, every time he cries desperately that he, 'Still needs to be Number One!' or whatever the hell that bullshit was? That was Hori. That was always Hori. Aizawa basically isn't allowed to exist near Bakugou without Hori running interference for him.

Izuku, on the other hand, is half the opposite, half Aizawa's own biases coming in. Part of it is Hori needs Izuku to feel stressed to pump up the tension, make cliffhangers, and get Jump selling; Izuku can't have a normal school life, he needs a heart pounding one. In most shonen school settings, this is easy to accomplish because they're generally hell holes that put their students in life and death situations on the regular, and live in hierarchies based off power levels. UA, though? It's a normal, or at least "normal" school, if exceptional, in the "real" world, plus some super powers. There are standards, is the thing; they can't and won't send their students off to maybe die because of they're a secret society or whatever. They have accountability (to some extent) to the general public, in other words.

So where does Izuku's cliffhanger filled school life come from? Well, Tomura and the Tomura-ettes, for one, but for all the other times... Hori turned to his teacher.

Let me say this again, because I want to emphasis this: part of the reason Aizawa exists as he does, is so that Izuku can feel threatened at school by his teacher. Why? Because Izuku's suffering sells.

Meanwhile, though Izuku does get pulled into Bakugou's plot armor sometimes, and suffers for it (more), but as a person and a character, I think Aizawa unironically disliked Izuku from the start. He grows out of it, to some extent, but....

Let's backtrack a second, back to the Quirk Test. Izuku, at this point, is ripped. Even without his Quirk, he was throwing around fridges and working all day and night to prep for UA. He was at the peak of realistic human fitness, instead of whatever increasing soft cap we have for heroes is.

Toru is invisible. Sure, she's in shape, since she passed the exam, but Izuku clearly focused on his body in a way most of the other students aren't, and she has no Quirk that'd help her pass the test (a test that, as many have pointed out, Aizawa would have failed). She's a nice girl, sure, but there's no way she could have out performed Izuku in raw physical ability, even before the ball throw which was one of the best of that category, and far beyond whatever she could have done.

Yet Izuku was the one at the bottom, not Toru. Why? Well, you could blame Hori, and that's technically true, but the thing is, unlike Bakugou, Aizawa acts like he doesn't like Izuku. He blames him for everything, he refuses to do anything as he breaks his bones constantly, he calls him Problem Child, and anyone who thinks that's affectionate, and that Izuku should as such, and that it's a cute little nickname needs to consider that through the lenses of Izuku's low self esteem, much less from a teacher who constantly threatens his students.

Aizawa sabotaged Izuku's scores. He did it because, you're right: he's just like the teachers at Aldera, if more restrained, and for different reasons. Not because Izuku is Quirkless (though he would if Izuku was, because the man honestly is Quirkist), but because he has the wrong Quirk. Because Izuku had the audacity to come to a school to learn about how to use his Quirk, instead of practicing it illegally, or inside his own house where, at that power level, one wrong move could accidently his house. Because he apparently didn't read the files that said Izuku got it a month ago, or didn't care. Or maybe it's just he looked at Izuku, and realized that having him learn to control that was just... too much work?

At the end of the day, which reason he did it doesn't even matter. What matters is he did. The same way he plays constant mind games with his students for shits and giggles, in ways that should undermine their faith in him, the same way he paired a bully with his victim so they could 'work it out', the same way he puts minimal effort into so much of the work he does, and it's why I loathe him as a teacher.

Aizawa is a good hero, but the moment Nezu let him into a school was a mistake.

137 notes · View notes

tokidokitokyo · 1 year

Text

2023年5月31日

TL;DR: Don't feel inadequate if your language learning journey is not the same as that of others. Your path is valid and you are doing great!

May seemed to just speed on by! And now it's time for my monthly Japanese study log. I think this month I felt a lot of shame for not having time to do the big goals that I have set for myself, and seeing people on langblr or studyblr accomplishing a lot of big goals makes me feel inadequate. It's important to remember that your language journey is your own, not someone else's, and there is no shame in going at your own pace. I try to focus on the things that I accomplish and not make the journeys that other people are on into some kind of impossible standard to hold myself to. Look at your own learning through the lens of how far you have come, and you will feel less like you are lacking.

つまり、自分なりに言語の勉強を続いてね。周りの人の道は自分とは違っても、自分でも成長していますね。これからも続きましょう！

5月はあっという間に終了です！今からは日本語の勉強日記を書こうと思います。今月は大きいな目標をなかなか進まなくて辛かったです。それに、タンブラーやインスタグラムの勉強垢をよく見てて、なんか自分が足りないって感じていました。日本語や言語の勉強は自分のやり方で自分のペースで進んだ方がいいと覚えた方がいいと思いますから、それを頑張って思い出そうとしています。他人の成長を見ながら自分の成長が足りないなと思うことはよくやりますが、それを辞めるように努力します。一か月や一年前の自分を見たら、今まですごく成長してきたと気づいたら、足りなくないとわかるかもしれません。

My 2023 Goals Progress

I laid out some broad goals for my Japanese study in my 2023 Japanese Language Goals post, so, as always, I start off my update with my progress towards these goals.

1. Read one page a day of 日本の歴史366 (にほんのれきし366) everyday in 2023.

How is it going? Good! I am finally getting back on track after setbacks from late work nights, illness, and vacation time. Since this is a page-a-day study book, I would have preferred to keep reading in order and to catch up on the days I missed reading, but that was physically impossible due to a lack of time in general. So I am continuing on even though I skipped some days because it's good reading practice and I still learn vocabulary and kanji daily.

2. Finish 日本語総まとめ N3 (にほんごそうまとめ N3) workbooks.

How is it going? Good! I have been doing one workbook daily entry per day for at least 2 days a week. There are 4 workbooks (Vocabulary, Kanji, Grammar, Listening) with 6 weeks and 6-7 daily entries per week. I am still on Week 5 out of 6 weeks, but I am progressing much more than I did last year (or the year before that lol).

I take my time with each lesson, reviewing the vocab/kanji/grammar points meticulously, so that I absorb the information rather than just rush through it. Sometimes I already know most of the vocab or kanji or grammar, but other days require more focus. I feel like I am retaining more information by doing it little-by-little, rather than just trying to get as much done as possible in one sitting. In May, I didn't review the lessons afterwards and throughout the week, so I might take some extra time to do that once I finish the series.

3. Review and learn the first 6 levels of the 常用漢字 (じょうようかんじ), specifically the 教育漢字 (きょういくかんじ) up to grade 6.

How is it going? Okay. I have been trying to focus on Joyo Kanji in my kanji reviews, so I went back to Grade 1 kanji to start my review. It helps me to figure out which ones I know well and where I am struggling. Goal: Review through at least grade 3 during the month of June.

4. Read at least one book every two months.

How is it going? Not great. I haven't had the time (nor the motivation) to pick back up the books I stopped in March, and I'm trying to be okay with that ^^; I would like to pick back up one book in June and try to finish it by July. One thing that I am continuing to read is the Gekkan Shojo Nozaki-kun manga series (in small chunks, usually before bed).

5. Improve my speaking and writing by finding a tutor.

How is it going? It could be better. I am going to set a deadline for finally finding a tutor. I just worry that if I find a tutor I won't be able to commit to a regular schedule and I'll just drop off like I have before. I keep thinking if I had more time to search for a tutor it'd be more permanent, but I think I am just procrastinating (shocked gasps from all). There's also a small worry about the financial commitment, but I am going to try to be frugal in other areas to allow for this luxury. Goal: I will find a tutor by June 30th (or at least start making regular appointments with tutors).

I've also added on to this goal that I would like to start writing sentences on HelloTalk so that I can get feedback without needing a tutor. This might help me to get motivated to improve instead of being terrified of making mistakes. Goal: Write one sentence a day on HelloTalk in June.

6. Study Japanese for at least 10 minutes every day.

How is it going? Good! Thank goodness I have been studying Japanese every day for so long that it's not even something I have to think about trying to fit into my schedule anymore.

May Study Log

This month my top study areas were Vocabulary, Kanji, and Speaking. I spent the least time studying Grammar and practicing Writing.

Study Methods I Used in May

Social Media

Not only did I use apps like renshuu.org (flash cards) and Easy Japanese (articles in Japanese) to study in May, I also used Instagram and started back up on HelloTalk. The idea is to interact with social media in a meaningful way by reading and writing in Japanese. I commented on other user's posts and reached out to some of them as well to start a conversation. The only drawback to this method is that you can get lost in endless doom scrolling if you don't focus on what you are there for (i.e. interaction) and just get lost in the algorithm.

Conversation

I speak Japanese daily (with my husband and son) and since my son is starting to speak in 3-4 word sentences and to copy our speech patterns, I am more mindful of what I am saying to him and how I am saying it (for example, using 大変 instead of やばい ^^;). However, when speaking with my husband it is easier to fall into a Japanglish routine with him, to drop formality and be lazy with sentence construction, and to speak in a more masculine way (because I tend to mimic the speech patterns of those I am speaking with). I have recently made a few Japanese mom friends with whom I can practice Japanese conversation. So I try to utilize our play dates by speaking both formal and casual Japanese, being mindful of my interactions, and trying to utilize new words or grammar points. Using Japanese is the best way to improve it, after all. The only drawback is that the conversation practices can be spaced few and far between, so spending time mindfully speaking at home is also important.

Reading

I have been doing far less reading than I was at the beginning of the year, but I still try to read something for just a few minutes a day to practice reading. Either an article, manga, or even just social media, just to keep myself practicing. Like conversation practice, the best way to improve my reading skills is to keep reading. The drawback is that if I try to read a book but then I have to put it down for a while, I forget what was happening or I lose my motivation to keep reading it because I feel like I am not making progress. If reading books is just not feasible due to a time crunch, I find it much better to read something shorter (articles or part of a manga), and I try not to be hard on myself for not reading a whole book when it seems like everyone else is reading tons of books every month.

Going Forward in June

Be continuous with 日本の歴史366

Focus on grades 1-3 of 教育漢字

Start regular italki tutor sessions

Write in Japanese on HelloTalk

Read one of the books I started earlier in the year by the end of July

I've been studying Japanese for a long time and I still feel inadequate a lot of the time. If you have studied Japanese for any amount of time, please be proud of yourself. You've done something that a lot of people only wish they could do. As always, I wish you much success in your language endeavors, and I hope we can continue on this journey together (no matter where our paths take us)!

長い間日本語を勉強しててもまだまだ足りないと思てます。今までちょっとでも長い間でも日本語を勉強している人に伝いたいことは、よく頑張ったね！日本語を勉強したくても勉強したことない人もたくさんいますので、勉強している人はすごいと思います。そして、自分なりにつづいてください。これからも、皆さん勉強の成功と成長を願っています。どんな道でも、一緒に勉強を続きましょう！

#日本語 #japanese #japanese language #japanese langblr #japanese studyblr #langblr #studyblr #日本語の日記 #japanese diary #japanese goals 2023 #japanese studyspo #tokidokitokyo #tdtphoto #my photo #japanese goals may 2023

51 notes · View notes