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#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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forerussake · 4 months
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Shipper tag game
I was tagged by @dual-domination :DDD thanks!
What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?
Okay so this whole tag game is gonna be interesting, bc i'm not actually that much of a shipper. I don't really care about shipping for the shipping itself, if that makes sense. I care about the characters and their dynamic, and ships can be interesting for what the characters may or may not bring to each other. Anyway, that was all meant to preface that I don't remember if I really strongly shipped anything when I was a teenager... At the very least I don't think there's one I don't care about anymore. Most of the things I shipped as a teen would have been tolkien ships, and I still carry a great fondness for those even if I'm not an active creator in that fandom atm.
2. Which ship would you consider your first one?
As said above, likely something Tolkien-related?? Maybe Glorestor? I remember reading fics about them but I don't remember actively shipping them. Perhaps Finarfin/Eärwen, that is the earliest ship I remember caring about in a way that I might consider shippy??
3. Your first fanfic was about which couple?
Neither the first fanfic I ever attempted to write (sth about Legolas that I wrote with pen on paper when I was like 10) nor the first serious unfinished attempt (about Thranduil taking up the crown in the aftermath of his father's death) nor the first one I ever published (The Last Son, a character study about Finarfin) are about couples at all... My first one that is about a couple though is Broken, about Turgon and Elenwë, but that is not 'shippy' at all.
4. Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of?
In Tolkien fandom circles, that will probably have been sth like Gigolas or maybe Glorestor, but I don't remember. The first I have active memory of is Angbang :D
5. Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?
No. I try to stay far away from that...
6. Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?
Maybe? There's definitely ships I don't care about, even ones that the rest of the fandom is all about, but there's very few ships I actively avoid. The only thing I actively filter out of my AO3 searches atm is anything that ships Ye Zun and Shen Wei together. That's just not for me... But that is what we have the exclude tags button for, so others can enjoy what they enjoy and you can too :) I also avoid the Pingxie tag like the plague, bc I've seen one too many people in the fandom have bad opinions, but I wouldn't call them a NOTP. It's more a 'missing a third party (namely Pangzi)' kinda deal for me xD
7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?
My mind immediately went to Weilan, but then I remembered that actually it's Zhubai <3 Both are a very likely answer to this question at any given moment.
8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?
See above! Weilan for sure, and definitely also Zhubai (and the extended polycule in the whole of and i will make a silence for you, for which I am eternally grateful to mumble and Sam) <333
9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?
No. As I said before, I'm not really a shipper. I don't consume media in that way. The story is the story, I don't see a reason to get mad about it. If you're unhappy with canon, you throw it in the trash and start writing AU fanfiction. It's not that deep.
10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?
Nah.
11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?
Idk, I suppose some people these days would cancel me over my RPF ships? I've also read a lot of Tolkien fanfic back in the day with ships that the modern purity-police would probably like to put me on a stake over (Celegorm/Curufin(/Finrod), maybe Silverfisting (when we still had the collective guts to call it that) and such.) Look, I was there for all the Yuri On Ice ship wars (that I didn't participate in, mind you), don't @ me with your anti bullshit. Fiction is fiction. Reality is reality. Go touch some grass.
12. What is your favorite crack ship?
I don't think I have one. Crack is not my fanfic genre.
13. What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?
Weilan probably ranks high by now, as does Zhubai. I've read a lot of Silverfisting and Curufin/Finrod in my day. I've read everything that was in the Finarfin/Eärwen tag up until a couple years ago, but that is a rarepair (even though it's canon... that's what you get when your OTP are only mentioned by name 3 times in the whole entire book). Xiyao and Nielan and 3zun are probably high on the list as well. I don't know who wins it, bc I only started keeping track of my reading habits with bookmarks in the past couple years so I have almost no data about the amount of fic I read before my Guardian days.
14. What do most of your ships usually have in common?
Uuhm, often there's something potentially fucked up about the dynamic. Some friction. A certain level of codependency or otherwise unhealthy attachment is interesting to me (how do they work through that? can they?). Most important though is just the deep affection they have for each other. I'm really big on like, choice and consent and free will. When characters could've chosen to part, and it might have even been easier for them to try and let go, but they decide the pain is worth it and they want to work on themselves and the relationship to make it work? When they love each other so much it dwarfs all else, but they still make the active choice to be vulnerable and share that love? That's my jam :)
15. What you absolutely hate in a ship?
Why do we have to end on a negative :(((( hhhm, okay i guess the lack of the above. I hate the soulmate trope with a passion, because so often it erases the element of choice from a relationship. "These characters were meant to be together" okay that's cute but do they want to be? I dislike it when a ship is written in such a way (either by the canon author or by fans) that it takes away the agency from the characters. I'm all for characters living for each other, but there must be meaning behind it. It can't just be fate. It has to be choice. For that matter, when a fandom collectively decides one ship is the way to go and all else is wrong and sucks, that is when I jump ship, because that ship is sinking.
Thanks again for tagging me, this was fun!
Tagging: @pangzi @lucientelrunya @programmedradly @the-marron @lunarriviera @scaredysap @mjsakurea @elenothar @lynne-monstr @aredhel-of-doylkien @thedaughterofshadows if you want to <3
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ahnsael · 6 months
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I'm surprised to realize that I have not mentioned this here.
I left my job at the casino. I was under a microscope from somebody above my boss. I don't know who, but that doesn't really matter.
I have health issues. I was in the emergency room twice in a week. Then I went home early a few times after throwing up into trash cans at work because it would come on too suddenly for me to make it to the restroom. As a result, I was put on probation.
The writing was on the wall, so instead of getting fired I terminated my own employment. Everybody has been nice about it (at least those I have spoken with). And I hold no anger towards the casino or anyone there. Not even whoever it was who decided that I was on very thin ice, and tap dancing. Depending on what comes next, they may have done me a favor.
For now I am resting after over seven years of working on my feet, and adjusting back to a more "normal" sleep schedule. I used to wake up at 9pm for my graveyard shift. Today I got up at 6pm. It's a process.
I still wake up for moments to roll over and think "Who am I wrking with tonight? What specific things do I need to get done tonight?" And then I realize that neither question applies anymore.
I know I burned the bridge with the company. I only gave 18 hours notice. But I am honestly thanking everyone I speak to with whom I worked. Until receently, it was overall a wonderful experience. I even enjoyed it recently, but had added stress because of the situation. But I generally like (almost) everyone I worked with (and those I wasn't a fan of are gone -- I even get along with employees who almost everyone else does not like; it's all about how you approach them). I had over seven good years there. But it was time to move on.
There are a LOT of times throughout my career, and different jobs, where I ask an employee to do something they would rather no do and they respond "If any other manager had asked me to do that, I would refuse. But since it is you, I'll do it." When I was new at the casino, I told a porter (read: custodian) that my first rule of being a manager is to never ask someone to do something that I would not do. One night, someone vomited on the restroom floor. I couldn't just walk away from it, so I grabbed a handful of towels and started cleaning it up. My porter just happened to walk in as I was doing it. I did not advertise that I would be doing it. He walked in, saw me on my hands and knees (back when my hands and knees worked right) and said "Wow, you really did mean it when you said you wouldn't ask us to do anything you would not do!" From that point on, he never complained when I asked him to do something.
Iam really going to miss both my coworkers and my guests. I went in last night just to collect a few personal things. I forgot about my umbrella, but it felt awkward being there so soon after resigning. I refused to go into the office. That wouldn't feel right. The office is employees only. So the other manager grabbed a few things, then we spoke for a bit and shook hands. This is the manager with whom I did not get along for months. They we had it out and understood each other better and then we got along. We shook hands. I got to wish my security guard the best and shake his hand. I got to say goodbye to a bartender with whom I generally only worked with once per week, but we had good conversations on that one night per week. I got emotional enough that I had to let it pass before I drove home. Driving home with blurred vision from crying would probably be about as dangerous as drunk driving.
I still get emotional over it. I had been there since mid-July 2016. This is the end of a long chapter in my life. I am still a little surprised I went through with it. But I was going to be pushed out if I didn't walk out on my own. And I know this was not what my boss wanted. He did not want to suspend me Friday morning. It was onlytwo days, but it also came with 90 days probation, like when I first hired in, but more strict suspension. If I even left work early, I was likely going to be fired from the sounds of it, even if I am sick.
I woke up to a message from the assistant property manager (he was part of the disciplinary meeting when I was suspended) telling me he thinks I did the best thing for my physical and mental health.
There is only one sour taste that I have in my mouth.
We were robbed at gunpoint in July of this year. Our county has an app where I can make sure they are still in jail. But one of our employees has severe PTSD after having a gun aimed at them. I was in a break area when the robbery happened and didn't know it had happened until the robbers had left. I called 911, not knowing that another employee was already on the phone with them. AFTER I called 911, the employees said that the gunmen had said they would come back to shoot and kill us all if we called law enforcement. I may not have been out there, but I have been robbed at gunpoint. This was mid-2000s. I still have flashbacks.
So if they said they didn't feel safe and wanted to go home, I would let them. I have a heart. Sure, it left us short staffed, but my most recent boss would agree that part of being a manger is running the business, but we also have to care for our staff.
Then it came down from HR that if this person called off or went home early, we had to give very specific reasons.
First, they already know the specific reasons. They are just being picky. They have a note from this person's psychiatrist detailing how deeply her PTSD goes. One other time she had fallenwhile getting out of bed and felt like she may fall again during her shift, and I put that down as the reason. But I was being askedd to go deeper into asking about and announcing her private medical information. That rubbed me very much the wrong way.
This is not the bartender I saw last night, but they are one of the first people I told after I made it official and we spoke on the phone and wished each other well. We do have each other's phone numbers so it was not necessarily goodbye. But she is this sweet ld lady who can party. Emloyees are entitled to one free "after shift" drink whether they are gambling or not (if not gambling they have to pay for any further drinks but the casino's drinks cost less than any other bar nearby). She ordered a shot of Fireball and a manager who is thinking of leaving early next year (one of two planning to leave -- I don't know that they will be able to maintain a 24-hours-a-day operation with as many of us as they are losing) decided, as a joke, to fulll a "bucket glass" with Fireball (if you aren't familiar with "bucket glass," think rum & Coke sized, but not the tall 12 or 16 oz glass). He figured he was just wasting booze but that it would be funny.
Then this sweet old black lady, always demure and quiet, picked up the glass and slowly downed the entire thing in one go. The rest of the graveyard crew and the manager just stared and dropped our jaws. It really was impressive. The manager asked if she wanted another one and she wisely said no.
This same guy once made me a Jack and Coke in a tall glass and filled it up about 7/8 of the way (after icing the glass) with Jack Danieals, then just added a splash of Pepsi (they are a Pepsi company). I nursed that thing for about an hour and a half. I wasn't going to down it like a bucket glass of Fireball and then drive home. The other crew member who had a drink with us had a wine glass ful of tequila. And the company wonders why the cost of goods for the bar is so high. That bar will never in the history of the casino make a profit. It's their loss leader. Most drinks are complimentary. But it keeps people at the slot machines, which is where the profit comes from. Even when someone wins a huge (and my huge, at this casino that is as high as $15,750), it is actually good for the bottom line. Because they tell their friends, who then come in thinking they will win. And paying jackpots was my favorite part of the job. There is just something about laying out thanksands of dollars in front of someone while counting it out to them. I always loved when people win.
After all, I also watched people go completely broke chasing the big win. I saw one once (well, I didn't actually see it, but I saw the afttermath) run out of money, drain their bank account, run out of money again, then beg people for $3 in gas money to be able to get home (if I would have seen that, I would have had to ask her to leave, but I found out after the fact). When someone (another sweet old lady who I haven't seen since COVID hit so I have a feeling she is no longer...capable of visiting, let's put it that way) told me, I saw the one who had asked for $3 -- you guessed it, gambling that $3 to try to turn it into more.
But people do not seem to understand how slot machines work. Sure, they pay back generally close to 90% of what they take in. That is mandated by the state. But that is an OVERALL percentage. The machines will take and they will take. Then one person will get lucky, and the machine stays in compliance. There is never a guarantee that a guest will win at all. I once put $60 in a machine, bet the minimum of 75¢, and ran out of money without a SINGLE winning spin. Not even a win that paid less than my bet. Not even a one penny win. I never played that game again. But I have paid jackpots on that machine. I was just the unlucky one that time.
Another time, before I started spending more for better health insurance (and thank goodness I did that), I had a game that I liked to play. Most machines have higner payout percentages if you bet more. I would take $200 of each paycheck and use it in that game and either play until that money was gone or until I hit something good. And even if I lost, I had the means to make it until the next paycheck. After upping my health insurance, I was gambling maybe $20 per month at most.
But this one day I was betting $8.80 (it has a Chinese theme and the way the number 7 is considered lucky by many here, there it's the number 8 that is considered lucky). I got a reel combination that resulted in a win of $4,320. On that day, I was the lucky one. For that matter, every employee working at the time (other than the manager -- graveyard is supposedly the only shift where managers can accept tips because we are wearing more hats as far as job duties), some other managers do, but I figure that is between them and the company) -- but every employee other than the manager was handed a $100 bill by me. Tips/tokes/gratuities are NEVER required. I've had to have this conversation many times over the years when employees help with a jackpot and there is no tip. I have to tell them "Yes, they just won $4,000, that does not mean they have not lost a lot more than that." And I could look at their stats if they were using a player's card and see that even after a jackpot like that, they have still lost a lot of money.
It was a very interesting business to work in. I do not at all regret my time with the company. And my boss was very kind when I called him at 5am to tell him I would not be working there anymore, effective immediately. SSo yeah, I deefinitely burned the bridge with the company. But I am staying positive about the people I worked with and the overall experience. Behind Disneyland, this was the second favorite job I have ever had. I may be sad about how it went down at the end, but overall it was a fantastic experience and I will remember the good years I had. I met good people. I worked with good people. I served guests who were awesome to have in the casino.
Granted, there was the guy who tried to jump through a window trying to escape deputies. There was the robbery. There was the guy (who thankfully moved to the other side of the country) who would come in hammered off his rear and want drinks. He once offered me $10,000 for one beer. I said that even if he pulled out $10,000 on the spot, I would still say no. I doubt he had $10,000 on him. I would show him the door, then he would come back even druner, and with no memory of having been there earlier. There were fights. We had a guy break one of our doors (not the window thing -- he actually slit the wood slamming it open because he was upset that I asked to check his ID to make sure he was old enough to be there).
There was some workplace drama between people, but I did my best to stay out of it. If I could understand where both were coming from, I would sit with them and help them hash things out. But if one person came to me complaining about an issue they have with someone else but I'm not seeing what they were (I wrote "are" -- I have to get used to past tense with this job), I just tell them I don't want to hear the complaints. I heard it already, made a decision not to act because I don't see the thing they are complaining about, or it does not involve my shift at all,but people tend to just harp on it (sort of like me with this post).
There was once (quite a few years ago) we had an emplyee ask to go home sick. Their request was granted. Then they sat at a slot machine gambline for hours. We had a manager have too much to drink and cause a HUGE scene. Because of them, a rule was made that managers could not have more than two drinks in a day at the casino (just the one Jack and Coke I had that one day broke that rule). But that rule went away when that manager left. It was a specific rule to keep them in line.
But the good FAR outweighs the challenges. Iam curious to see how things go now that I am gone. But it would probably have to be through the grapevine. When I went in to pick up a few personal items, it felt strange even though I refused to go into the office (after all, the office is "employees only" and I no longer qualify). Just just being there, at least this soon after my employment ending, felt odd.
But I will find something new. It is a new chapter. A fresh start. A chance to maybe sleep normal hours (not sure I will get there; depends on what the nex step in employment is). And two fellow managers have offered to write me glowing recommendations, so that is good. I have definitely burned the bridge with the company. I have not burned any bridges with those with whom I worked. And Ihave no reason to burn any bridges. I worked with a good group of people. This boss was up there with the best bosses I've ever had. And I know everything coming down on me was not his decision (trust me, I've worked for him for over seven years; he is not a liar so if he says he is being told to do something by above him in the company, I believe him). He has proven over the years that he genuinely cares. He once LITERALLY saved my life by sending me to the hospital. Nurses, after doing blood work, were shocked I was still even alive. I had told my boss that the next day was my Friday, so I would go then to not miss work if I was kept overnight. Nurses said that if I would have ignored my boss and waited, I would have definitely died that day. Three days and two blood transfusions later, I was back on my feet and back at work.
So again, despite the fact that it came down to "leave on your own terms, or their terms?" I will always look back at my years there as a good experience. I learned a lot. Not just about the casino business, but how to be a more effective manager. As inconvenient as the times of training classes can be (great, let's go to a noon two hour training class when I have to be up at 9pm for work), the training program is good. And ongoing. You don't just go through initial training and then you're on your own. Classes are even repeated to keep it fresh. There is a binder of shift manager operating procedures in the office that we are told to read four times a year. Most of it is mundane and simple and there were pages that I skipped because I was there for so long I knew them. But there are also some special circumstances covered that it was helpful to re-read. Tehnically I was breaking a rule when I gave CPR at the casino one night. But if a 911 operator is telling me to do it, I am not going to argue. It's like the casino attendant who saw the robbery starting and was not seen, and immediately went outside to call 911, and told them -- when the robbers left -- which way they went, he could have gotten fired for that even though he did EXACTLY the right thing; not per policy, but as a person. All of the managers, including me, GANGED UP on HR to make sure he would not lose his job for having his cell phone on him or not having a manager be the one to make the call (I was uot back, and the other manager was a little busy being held at gunpoint and being threatened with death if he so much as touched his cell phone).
There are things about the company I will never understand. Like, I have an Apple Watch, and a new policy was emailed from HR a few days ago saying they are not allowed. And yet when I was part of drop night until this past monday, whoever was counting money would call me on my personal number (even not carrying my phone, even though I did start carrying it against the rules), I could answer on my watch. If I am not supposed to have it, why did my bosses call me on it?
But I did like when people would see me talking to another manager on my watch. I felt like Inspector Gadget. The difference is that his calls with Penny or Brain (did he have video calls with Brain? I forget) were video calls. Mine were audio calls.
Anyway, I need to shut up. I just have a lot of emotions in me right now. But the fact that my boss did not try to convince me to stay (he can be VERY pursuasive) and my other casino-level boss is telling me that he thinks it was the right thing makes me feel better about the decision. They know I got out before I was forced out. I was not sure about the "forced out" option but I had a feeling. Their reactions tell me that my intuition was correct. I do not know what is next, but I needed to turn that page. I just happen to be on a blank page right now. But the text will continue. I am going to miss the heck out of that job. Not as much as I miss Disneyland, but they were good to me for a long time. It's just a shame that I fell under the microscope because of health issues that they have documentation from doctors about. But I will not let that spoin my memories. A few people say I should sue them for holding medical issues against me, but I do not want that hassle. When I went down in January, I called my boss to tell him that I was ready to return to work, but told him that I would be using a walked. He said "absolutely not in a walker." Then he got chewed out about reasonable accomodation, and he let me back. And the funny thing is that whoever enforced reasonable accomodation is likely the same person who now wanted me out. I do not know that for sure.
So, yeah. That happened. I will see what the next chapter entails. All I know is that she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three (Beauty and the Beast reference unrelated to my situation). As emotional as this time is, I have to find those moments of humor and happiness. It is a huge change in my life, but I have to remain myself, even under stress. And the encouraging words of even my bosses tell me that not only do they accept my decision, but they want what is best for me in the long run.
It's almost like the last time I was at Disneyland in 2019. I saw one of my old managers on the parade route irecting the sales of glow merchandise (it was always his thing) and I walked up to say hello. I look a LOT different than I did as a cast member. I'm much older and balder and more wrinkly. He recognized me as soon as he saw me. And right before the Main Street Electrical Parade (I think -- maybe it was Paint the Night by then; speaking with a former colleague who was maybe my best boss ever was more important to me than the parade). I remember "shooting out the lights on Main Street." I would take two glow swords and recreat the 1992 opening ceremony to the Barceloa Olympics (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmRf41SVHS4). Except opposite. That guy used a bow and flaming arrow to light the Olympic torch (and it really was an impressive shot). I used my (fake) bow and arrow to turn the lights off for the parade. I always got at least some applause directed at me, not just the parade. I used to walk down Main Street U.S.A. and get cheered. Even during other parades, I would (badly) dance (I am not much of a danceer). But people recognized that I was trying and they would applaud.
I will not remember the casino QUITE as well as I do Disneyland. But I wil remember it fondly.
There will come a time when I will make another appearance at the casino. After I am employed again, I may even gamble some. But it is too soon, other than picking up some personal items yesterday.
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boldlyanxious · 2 years
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In Cahoots
Tag team tournament day 4
Masterlist
Dick was acting weird. Even weirder than usual.
He knew Damian had been out late. That wasn’t too big of a deal. It happened frequently enough. Damian was still up at the usual time and headed to the gym in his building but when he got out of the shower Dick was there. Suddenly he wanted to hang out even though they had been together yesterday evening. He had intended to have a nice, relaxing day at home. Then he would spend some time with his girlfriend later but Dick had a tendency to plead. When he started that he would get a whining tone to his voice that made Damian want to stab something.
He didn’t want to stab Dick and his apartment was pristine at the moment so instead, he grabbed a jacket and headed out into the dismal rainy day to eat brunch.
There was a line at the place Dick chose. It was loud and crowded. People were bumping them back and forth. Dick was watching him closely as he checked the time on his phone again. He stared back at the look but slid the phone back into his pocket.
“What, are you already bored of me?” Dick asked.
“I am bored of the activity,” Damian clarified. “It is crowded and the acoustics in this room are very poorly designed for conversation. I can’t hear you right in front of me but it feels like every other person in this room is shouting in my ears.”
“Well, I’m always happy to spend time with you, Damian,” Dick said with a grin. “Besides, it’s my treat.”
“It certainly is,” Damian muttered grumpily.
Marinette waited until Damian and Dick were gone to sneak past the security at the desk. They let her in. They knew her since she came over frequently. But they would not allow her up without Damian with what she had with her. So she let them know that it appeared someone had dumped a bunch of trash along the side of the building. Conveniently, it was on the side of the building where there was no camera. Damian had complained about it many times but he liked everything else about the building so he chose to stay there anyway. That is how Marinette knew where to dump the trash she had collected.
They went out the side door and she hit the elevator hold button while she ran to get the box she had hidden. Luckily she didn’t trip in her hurry because that would be a disaster. She adjusted the blanket covering the box and watched the elevator go all the way up. She peeked around the corner before stepping out to make sure one of his neighbors wasn’t around. There were only 3 other apartments on this level and she knew all of them by sight. But she preferred not to see any of them right now.
She used her key to get in and quickly closed the door behind her.
This was dragging out.
The brunch was bad enough. The food had been fine but Damian would have preferred some place smaller and with less noise. But now, Dick had decided that he just needed a quick stop at a couple places and that it would be no big deal for Damian to go with him. He tried to sneak out his phone again.
“Come on, Damian. We are bonding,” Dick whined.
“You did not even check to see if I had plans today,” Damian defended. “I am supposed to see Marinette later.”
Dick turned his head and looked at him.
“That isn’t until later though. Do you really need 4 hours to get ready?
“How would you know what time I am meeting Marinette?”
Dick looked back at him guiltily but he didn’t have an immediate response.
Once inside, Marinette plugged in the heating pad and started setting up a blockade on the ground. She pulled all the supplies out of her bag before she reached into the box. The kittens were mewling and climbing all over each other. She let them out and started trying to see how many of them she could feed at once. They were eager for the little bottles of formula and drank greedily. Some of them were fighting to get a place near the available food.
She had wet food to offer them too, but she wanted to get them milk first. They were all so small even for the suspected age from the available vet at the pet store. He had shown her all the things she would need but he looked a bit grim like he didn’t expect all of them to make it. He said it was possible but they would have a lot of work to do before they were healthy.
As they finished eating she started wiping them down with a towel and moved them to the heating pad. Soon they were all asleep, one of them resting his head on her foot. She just stayed there on the floor with them in a pile and started working on her designing until it was time for the next feeding.
She dozed off slightly and woke suddenly with the sound of the door opening suddenly.
“What is going on with you and my brother?” Damian asked as soon as he saw Marinette.
He didn’t know why Dick and Marinette were talking but it was clearly something they were hiding. She had jumped up to greet him when he opened the door but his eyes narrowed at her and she froze. They were clearly in cahoots and he wanted answers.
“Damian,” Marinette said softly.
It was the voice she used when she had to say something he didn’t like or to soothe him. Usually he would allow her to do so. But Dick had spent the entire way back trying to convince him not to return home yet. It was not his birthday and Marinette knew better than to throw him a surprise party anyway. He liked having her in his apartment but he couldn’t understand why it was a secret. A secret she had with his brother.
He stepped forward when he heard a noise behind her but she sidestepped to block him.
“What is the meaning of this?” he asked.
He looked around at the many kittens that were in his apartment. He loved animals but kittens were a lot of work and he didn’t have the time or energy for that right now. He looked over at Marinette. He rarely used a stern voice around her and she looked nearly in tears.
“I found them in the alley behind my apartment,” she said. “I was going to keep them in my apartment just for a few days but the landlord saw me so I assured him they weren’t staying with me.”
“Did you know about this?” Damian asked.
“I might have helped her get into your building slightly and possibly kept you away,” Dick said.
One of the tiny kittens walked to the edge of the barrier where Damian was standing and mewled so loud it was a scream.
“That one is Grumpy,” Marinette said. Damian turned quickly and gave her a look before he realized she was telling the kitten’s name. She kept pointing to them as she spoke. “There is Sleepy, Doc, Sneezy, Happy, Dopey and the one under the edge of the pillow is Bashful.”
Dick leaned down and picked up 2 of them and Marinette started cleaning up the mess from the feeding earlier and pulling out a pack of wet food as well as more bottles of formula. Damian turned her back to him.
“There is no way I can handle this, Marinette. I can’t take care of seven kittens.”
Her face fell but Damian lifted her chin to meet her eyes. “I can’t do it alone. I will need you to stay here with me until they are all adopted.”
Marinette threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She pulled herself up to kiss him before responding.
“You mean it? We can keep them?”
“Of course. Then after, we can talk about whether you want to move in here with me full time.”
Rather than responding she just lifted herself onto her toes to kiss him again. Until the cries of the kittens pulled them apart.
Taglist
@theymakeupfairies | @emjrabbitwolf | @vixen-uchiha | @trythisagainlove | @trippingovermyfeet | @tbehartoo | @izanae | @kittenmywaythrulife | @folk-ever-lore | @jayjayspixiepop | @achaoticmess1
@adrestar | @zynna | @jeminiikrystal
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iplanetsacademy · 1 year
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We started out about to bake my hubby a cake for his birthday Tre Boy had complained of body aches and had a fever, so we went to CVS to get him some meds Instead, because he was still complaining of body aches I said let’s do your hair first So he laid down on my lap while I took his hair a loose About 10 minutes later, his head was bobbing up and down on my lap I thought he was about to throw up so I reached for the trash can but when I turned back to him his eyes had rolled to the back of his head, he was struggling to breath and his tongue was retracted I screamed for my hubby and called 911
My hubby came running fast and by then his feet and hands were tightly clinched and he began to have a seizure on me His body was bouncing up and down so fast and so violently I couldnt even get from under him I was crying hysterically begging GOD to spare his life My hubby tried to pick him up, but his body went limp like a noodle and he defecated all over himself. Leonard tried to roll him over and immediately Tre Boy stopped breathing For a good minute and 1/2 my hubby was begging him to breathe and giving him CPR…OMG seeing him laying there lifeless was the absolute scariest moment of my life Hearing my husband desperately begging him to breathe almost took me out I was hyperventilating and my poor hubby was also telling me to calm down before I have a heart attack, but I felt in every cell in my body I can not lose my child this moment I remember thinking GOD on my hubby birthday? No, JESUS please. I know we all
Gotta die some day, but please don’t take my baby right now LORD! Thankfully, the EMTs got there super fast I was pleading with them to please save Tre Boy They were calm, but I began to scream you don’t understand I can not lose my baby It felt like an outer body experience Because I am usually so calm and collective, but not then, I was a total wreck and I was begging them to please please do whatever but save him Thankfully, they began to do CPR and stabilized him for the moment Then the ambulance soon followed behind the EMT’s, but told us we could not ride with them Man, The ride behind that ambulance was the longest and scariest time of my life and as his parents Thankfully my hubby was driving and when he reached his hands to hold mine I could feel the fear we both had, but it also calmed me down and I began to just thank GOD and praise GOD for everything including for my hubby for saving Tre Boy life
So many were also praying for us that we are so grateful for Tre Boy was knocked out for hours afterwards, but got up at 4ish in the AM and began to have a convo with me I knew then he would be okay despite all the test they were ordering because he was in his right mind It was just me and him talking so I recorded it I knew GOD did that to give me a sign to not worry but believe Then he conked back out for hours again Thankfully, he came to and totally recovered to his former self with no brain injuries and they don’t think he has epilepsy or anything at this point He didn’t remember anything at all other than being sad that he had to wait to bake his dad a cake We are so grateful for GOD healing him and bringing him home
Tre Boy has never had a seizure before and we pray he never has one again But we thank everyone who is like family to us for all their prayers and support Thank you so very much!!!!
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hiddens-eden · 3 years
Text
The Last Tune (Emmett Cullen x Male!Reader) Pt 1
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Paring; Emmett Cullen x Male Reader + Cullen Family x Male Reader (PLATONIC)
Warning: Cursing, Abuse, Tramua, Angst
Pronouns; He/Him
Spelling checked; No
Summary; Y/N is a quiet boy that's had his fair share of physical and emotional trauma, so he loves to keep to himself. He barely interacts with anyone unless needed and prefers to listen to music and sketch in peace. So imagine his surprise when some of the most popular kids in school want to be around him! They heard him singing along with his music and were immediately entranced. One of them in particular has his eyes set on him. Though, they are not the only ones who have an interest in Y/N.
A/N; Hello, my little Otaku's! Welcome to my first fic! I hope you enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated! Just be kind! I'm sorry if it seems at all rushed! On my next stories I do plan on switching PoV's so it'll be easier to write and more entertaining. Enjoy!
"Who are they?"a dark haired girl asked her friend that was sitting just across from their lunch table
"Those are some of the most popular people in school, the Cullen's. Not only are they hot as hell, but they're charming to boot! They do disappear for long periods of time, which gives them an air of mystery."
At the Cullen's table, they softly chuckled at the description the new girl was given. After all, it's only natural considering what they are. They are a being talked about in many fantasy tales. Known for their taste for blood. Vampires, a creature of the night that feasts on humans. However, they in particular don't drink human blood
They went back to softly talking to each other, but a few minutes later something caught their attention. A soft voice echoed in their eardrums. It was enchanting and beautiful, it was like nothing they've ever heard of. They all simultaneously started looking around for the source of the pleasant sound when the new girl asked about someone else.
"Who is that?" she asked, pointing to a table where a boy sat by himself
"Oh! That's (Y/N), (L/N)! He doesn't talk much, but when he does, you can't help but feel so tranquil and at peace!"
That caught the vampire's attention, and they whipped their heads to where the brunette was pointing. Noticing that that was where the sound is coming from.
"What do you mean?"
"His voice is so soft, like silk! But it has a sort of firmness to it! That's not the only thing, though. He is so kind, adorable, and smart as well! He even helps who ask for him to tutor them. His personality makes everyone want to be around him!"
That rose some questions in the vampires heads. If he is that well-liked, why is no one sitting near him?
"Then why is he alone?"
~The vampires will have to thank the new girl for asking so many questions~
"Well, whenever people come near him, he gets anxious and tries to get away as soon as possible. Someone grabbed him on accident, and he started having a panic attack, falling to the ground, and hyperventilating."
The Cullen's were a little shocked when they heard this. That wasn't normal for sure
"Holy shit. Was he okay?"
"Yeah, he was sent home early. But, some students saw his face as he was leaving and said that he looked terrified. We think something is going on where he lives, though we can't know for sure" she shrugged
"Once he came to school the next day, he was wearing long-sleeves. I thought it was weird considering he never wore them before, but the rest of the school shrugged it off as it being in the winter months making it reasonable. The person apologized the next day and (Y/N) just said it was fine, and he just likes being alone, so now that's what we do"
Right when the girl finished, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Making everyone get up and start to throw away their trash and head to class. All except one person...
"I don't think he heard the bell" Emmett said
"Gee, none of us would've guessed!" Rosalie responded, causing the other Cullen's to chuckle
Suddenly, Jasper's sight shifted to his wife Alice because he felt her stiffening up, a tell-tale sign of her power activating. The other vampires looked at her as well, waiting for her to relay what she saw. After a little bit she came to and, slowly, turned to Emmett grinning
"Emmett, why don't you go over and tell him class is about to start? Maybe even ask him to tutor you! We all know you need it." she remarked, still grinning
Starting to understand why she was acting like the way she was, Emmett sighed, wanting to protest, but he knew Alice's visions almost always came true, or they would end at the same conclusion.
He made his way over to where the boy was sitting
"Remember not to grab him!" Alice semi-shouted from where she was standing
Emmett waved her off, still approaching (Y/N)
He gently tapped (Y/N)'s shoulder, making the smaller boy jump in surprise and what Emmett can only assume is fear
(Y/N) turned his head around fast enough to give him whiplash and that's when he met the golden eyes of the person that startled him
He took his earbud out before speaking, "I-Is there s-something I can do for you?" (Y/N) asked shakily
Emmett stood there for a moment. He had never seen someone so hot and cute at the same time. The girl was right, too. His voice is the embodiment of angelic. Emmett took this chance to take in all the boys features, from his soft (S/C) skin that reflected the light of the cafeteria. To his intoxicating (E/C) eyes that he could get lost in over and over again. Emmett felt a small pull to (Y/N), and he knew exactly what it meant.
“H-hello? Are you alright?” (Y/N) asked
“I-I um…class is about to start…”
(Y/N) looked at the time and blushed
“So it is…” (Y/N) stood up and started collecting his things “T-thanks for letting me know” (Y/N) stood to leave but was stopped as Emmett stood in front of him
“I was wondering if you could help me study for chemistry? I’m currently failing” Emmett chuckled, rubbing the back of his head
"I-I don't mind, where should we meet?"
"How about the Library after school?"
(Y/N) smiled the slightest bit "Sounds good, now if you don't mind I need to get to class" and with that (Y/N) left the cafeteria heading to his next class. Emmett slowly rejoined his family, still in awe from the recent interaction.
Jasper grinned from the emotions Emmett was emulating
"It seems Emmett is very interested in that guy"
"Hell yeah I am! Did you see him?!"
"We did" Edward answered him, "But"
"But what?" Emmett asked
"I can't read his mind, same with the new girl"
"Does that mean they're a supernatural?" Rosalie asked
"No, they aren't. The new girl is a weird case, but (Y/N) seems to just have fantastic mental walls and barriers. Which is concerning..."
"Then I'll have to break them" Emmett smirked
The rest of the Cullen's let out a collective sigh as they made their way to their respective classes. Still wondering what was going on with the mysterious (Y/N).
The final bell rang, indicating the end of the school day. Students started to funnel out of their classes and into the hallways. Emmett was waiting outside (Y/N)'s classroom, ready to head to the library.
After waiting awhile of waiting, (Y/N) came out of the classroom books and binder in hand
"Hey"
(Y/N) jumped and turned around to see Emmett, a look of relief claimed his face
"You ready to go?"
"Y-yeah"
As they made their way to the library, they made some just talked about their interests and things of that nature, eventually arriving at their destination. After they settled in their seats with the necessary books, they started the study session.
Emmett found it cute, they way (Y/N) would nervously try and help him understand the complex formula's and equations. After a few explanations, (Y/N) sat down and started to work on his homework. Unconsciously, (Y/N) started to sing to himself, making Emmett perk up and look at him.
"You're a good singer"
(Y/N) blushed, "Thanks...but others don't think so..."
"Are you kidding me?!" Emmett stood up, causing (Y/N) to jump a little, "Your voice is amazing!"
(Y/N) blushed at the praise he was given. He'd never been complimented before, so this was new to him.
"Thank you" (Y/N) smiled, making Emmett's cold and dead heart swell with something he's never felt before
"N-no problem" Emmett said before sitting down, and starting to work again, still thinking of that cute-ass smile
Soon, the sun started to set and that was their cue to wrap things up.
"Could you tutor me again tomorrow? If you're free, that is" Emmett asked
"Sure, I should be open. Meet here after school?"
"Deal"
"Then I'll see you tomorrow" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett before walking to his place
To say Emmett was giddy is an understatement. He was over the moon. Not only did he get to be tutored by his adorable mate, but he also got him to open up and be more relaxed around him! He made his way back to his own house and entered with his head still stuck in the clouds. Unaware of the fact that the whole family was sitting in the living room
"It seems that Emmett had an amazing time" Jasper couldn't help but let out his own smile from Emmett's emotions
"Something good happen, Emmett?" Carlisle asked, intrigued by Jasper's comment
"I think he's the one"
"The One?" Esme questioned
Alice snickered, clearly happy that her vision seemed to have came true
"My mate" Emmett replied, still thinking about the fun time he had studying with (Y/N)
"Congrats!! But, make sure you claim him before anyone else!" Esme explained
"He's not an object, Esme" Carlisle chastised
"I know, but humans may not understand their feelings"
"I just have to take things slow. I don't want to scare him off"
~Next Day at School~
"Hey (Y/N)!"
"Hmm? Oh, hey Emmett!" (Y/N) smiled sweetly
As Emmett got closer to (Y/N) he noticed a very distinct smell coming from the boy. "(Y/N) are you alright?" he asked concern lacing his voice
(Y/N) visibly tensed and started to shake slightly. "U-um ye-yeah? I'm f-fine"
Emmett was less than convinced. He needed to know who or what hurt his mate, so he could end it's pitiful existence, then and there. Though, he decided not to add anymore fuel to the fire...yet.
"If you say so. We should head to to class"
"Yeah"
"Are we still on for tonight?"
"If you still want to, then yes" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett causing him to absolutely gush at his adorableness
"Yep! Totally!" (Y/N) chuckled at Emmett's response
While heading to class they just talked about whatever was on their minds. Well, mostly Emmett since (Y/N) is a closed off little bean <3. But, that didn't stop either of them from enjoying themselves. Even once they where in class they softly whispered to each other. Their teacher didn't care much because (Y/N) is a model student and Emmett is a popular kid (you know those teachers that try and get in with the cool kids? Yeah, that's their teacher). When they went their seperate way's for their second block (Y/N) though that was it, like all of the other people he's tutored. He just thought Emmett was being kind and he'd see him after school for their study session. But he was proven wrong at lunchtime.
(Y/N) was eating by himself at a table listening to music and singing along softly when he felt vibrations coming from next to him. He looked over to not only see Emmett, but the whole Cullen entourage in tow. He was shocked to say the very least.
"Can we sit here?"
Collecting himself he responded with a soft "Yeah". The Cullen's then sat down, Emmett sitting on your right and Alice on your left. She squealed and looked twoards you "I've wanted to actually talk to you for a while now! Emmett talks about you and your singing too! I hope I can hear you one day!" This, this was how (Y/N).exe has stopped working. You where an embarassed blushing mess while looking at Emmett in mock betrayal. 'He talks about me?' you thought. He just smirked enjoying your cuteness.
"Ahh!!! He's soo adorable!!" Now you were a even darker red. Only provoking Alice more as she got slightly closer to you. You were about to curl in on yourself when you felt that you were being griped by the waist and pulled into a solid chest.
"Alice, your going to make him explode" Emmett said slightly, just slightly defensive
She laughed "My my what about you then?"
"What do you mean?"
"Look down, bonehead" Rosalie butted in amused
Emmett did what she said and saw you an absolute wreck. If a cherry was a person it would be you at this point-
Now he was trying to compose himself. The sight of both of you made everyone at the table start chuckling. After that whole fiasco you got to know Emmett's family and started to enjoy their presence. Something you never really had the pleasure of experiencing...
Over the next few weeks, Emmett did everything he could to be even remotely close to (Y/N). They would do studying sessions at the library, and after they would get something to eat. Well, only (Y/N) did. He thought it was weird Emmett never ate anything, but Emmett assured (Y/N) that he was eating well. They would often go to parks and just have fun too. However, all fun things come to an end. When one day (Y/N) didn't show up to school. Emmett just thought (Y/N) got a cold, but soon days turned to weeks and he was getting worried. He didn't know where (Y/N) lived so he couldn't go to his house and see if he was alright, but one day Carlise came home a little later than usual which was not unnoticed by his family.
"You're back late" Esme commented
"Well there is a teenager in critical condition. He came in with severe lacerations all over his body and what seemed to be marks of repeated tramua as well. He came in a couple of weeks ago and was in a coma until he flatlined earlier this morning" Carlise took off his doctor coat and placed it on the chair making his way to Esme. As he stood next to her he looked over to see his "children" with wide eyes
"Is something wrong?" Carlise asked a bit worried
"When did that patient come into the hospital?" Emmett asked urgently
"(Date). Why?"
With that all of the vampires stood up and started to get ready to go to the hospital
"What's wrong? Where are you guys going?" Esme asked
"That's most likely my mate" Emmett replied, making it clear he was irritated
"Well then what are we waiting for?" Esme rushed everyone out the door and to the hospital
At the hospital, they made their way to the room (Y/N) was at. Once there, Carlisle motioned for Emmett to enter first. Emmett went in and was shocked by what he saw. (Y/N) had many tubes attached to him. His body was wrapped in bandages and his breathing was hitching. Emmett walked over to the resting (Y/N) and reached out for his hand, grasping it softly. He rubbed his thumb over the boy's knuckles in a reassuring manner, then sat down next to the bed, still holding (Y/N)'s hand. He could only think about how much he failed his mate. How could he let this happen? He knew there was something going on, but he did nothing? He turned a blind eye to it all. How can he face (Y/N) when he wakes up? Emmett's thoughts were interrupted by someone's voice
"Who are you?"
"I should be asking you that" Emmett replied
"I'm (Y/N)'s boyfriend"
With that, Emmett's world stopped. Boyfriend? How? Why? Was I to late? Emmett turned to (Y/N) conflicted, but that's when he saw the heart monitor. His heart rate was not that high a while ago.
"Can you leave me with my boyfriend?" (B/F/N) asked harshly
Emmett reluctantly stood up and made his way to the door, but not before taking one last look at (Y/N). Once he was out of the room, Emmett started walking down the hallway back to his family.
"Who was that guy that went in there?" Rosalie went up to Emmett
"Apparently, he's (Y/N)'s boyfriend"
The Cullen's looked at Emmett in sadness and pity, but they noticed something
"You don't seem that bothered about it" Jasper said
"Well, before he came in, (Y/N)'s heart rate was normal, but when he spoke his heart rate rose"
"So, you think-"
"Yeah, his 'boyfriend' must've done that to him"
"That's awful" Esme covered her mouth in shock
"We can't really do anything if we don't have proof though" Alice said irritated
"Then we'll just have to get some" Emmett smirked, making the other Cullen's nod
They made their plan's and put them on hold until you were sent home. In the meantime, Emmett came to visit whenever your 'boyfriend' was never there and if he was, Carlisle was keeping a closer eye on you than normal. He also noticed that (B/F/N) would only ever sit in the chair across the room and when he would glance at you a look of disgust would be present on his face. This further solidified his resolve to get you out of that situation.
~A few days later while Emmett is visiting you~
"We're going to help you (Y/N), Everything will be better soon" Emmett reassured the sleeping male whilst holding his hand. He then felt (Y/N) clench his hand and looked up to see those beautiful (E/C) orbs opening
"Em-"
"Shh, don't strain yourself yet" Emmett stood up and pressed the 'call' button just above (Y/N)'s head before sitting back down
"Where-"
"The hospital...can you tell me what happened to you?"
After a brief pause, (Y/N) shook his ever so slightly
"That's fine, just tell me when you're ready" Emmett smiled sweetly. He saw (Y/N)'s face contort into sadness as he started crying. "I-I'm sorry f-for worrying you" (Y/N) choked out between sobs. Emmett couldn't see him cry like this, so he started to comfort and reassure the other male. "You'll be okay...I won't let you get hurt anymore..."
A/N: I really hope you liked it! Please tell me your thoughts! Sorry it took way longer than I said! I will now be working on the requests I have gotten and a new series I've conjured up ;)By my little Otaku's!!
514 notes · View notes
lipstickstainz · 3 years
Text
true lies - s. r. (12/?)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.
Chapter Summary: A collection of letters Spencer and you share while you're gone - and then you're gone forever. At least, that what he thinks.
Warnings: some fluff, angst, angst, angst, smoking, slight ptsd, grief and loss
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: I'm sososososo sorry. please don't hate me. I love you. gif not mine.
Series Masterlist
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previous part
Dearest little bear,
two months have passed since you had to leave, and not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish you were here with me.
We are trying to do everything in our power to be able to bring you back home. But unfortunately, it seems to be taking longer than I would like.
I was told you were working on it as well. You are strong and smart and even though you can't be with me, I'm sure we can do it together.
Take care of yourself.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dearest Neruda,
I was very happy to receive your message. I always carry it with me, although I would rather be in your arms, but I can't.
I can't tell you where I am right now, but still I wish you were with me. It is warm and beautiful and I am sure you would like it here very much.
Except for these letters, I'm not allowed to talk to any of you, but I like talking to you best anyway. We've come this far. And we'll make it.
Thinking of you.
With love,
little bear
-
Dearest little bear,
It's been four months and with each passing second it becomes more unbearable. But a light is appearing at the end of the dark tunnel. We think we know who she is.
It won't be long before we can see each other again. And I can't wait to be able to hug you again. To be able to touch you. Or kiss you.
Not much longer. And then nothing can separate us.
Take care of yourself.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dearest Neruda,
It would have been too good to be with you again at last. But it still takes time.
I have found something that can help us, but for now, just know that I will do everything I can so that I can return home. Back to you. No matter what it costs.
Keep your eyes open. We're closer than you think.
I'm thinking of you.
With love,
little bear
-
Dearest little bear,
I was given time off to take a break. I was with my mother and she told me that a kind young lady had been here. She doesn't remember you, but she knows you are familiar and that she can trust you. As I do.
I am infinitely grateful. And I'm tired of waiting, but for you I do. For you, I do it all.
Take care of yourself.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dearest Neruda,
I can no longer grasp a clear thought, because whenever I close my eyes I see everything I have done in review. I can hardly sleep and the nightmares plague me.
I just hope that everything will end soon. It has already been a year since we saw each other. I can't promise you anything, but I hope you know that everything I had to do was for you. For us.
Thinking of you.
With love,
little bear
-
Dearest little bear,
it's been a few weeks since I've heard from you. I hope you are doing well.
We have found a trail that will take us further.And brings me a little closer to you. And that will bring you back home. I can't wait.
Take care of yourself.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dearest little bear,
It's been two months since you wrote to me.
Get back to me as soon as you can.
Take care of yourself.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dearest little bear,
Words cannot describe how much I miss you. Or how great the pain in my chest is.
I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can hardly breathe without you.
Thinking of you.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dearest little bear,
they hung your picture today. In the portrait you are smiling, proud to finally be part of the team. I can't look at it.
I was sent home, but everything there reminds me of you.
Thinking of you.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dearest little bear,
I keep your letters in a small box next to my bed. They are a part of you that I don't want to lose, even though I have already lost you. They are a part of you, just as you are a part of me.
Thinking of you.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dearest little bear,
I went to our bookstore and found a book of poems that you would like. I'll put it with your letters.
No book in the world could have prepared me for the grief I feel. The pain is too engaging for me to talk about it with anyone but you.
Thinking of you.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dear little bear,
it's been almost two years since we last saw each other. I don't remember what you sound like, or what you smell like. Why can't I remember that? Is it wrong of me not to think it's bad? It takes away my pain a little.
Thinking of you.
With love,
Neruda
-
Dear little bear,
A lot has happened in the two years we've been apart. Too much to ever be able to write down all the things. I just want you to know that this time was not easy for me. Not for any of us.
I put your letters away safely because you will always be important to me. But I have to let you go. And with this, I release you.
I love you. Forever.
With love,
Neruda
-
You pinch your leg to wake up. Your neck is wet with cold sweat and you have to blink several times to realize that you are in a cab. You run your hand through your hair as the driver looks at you curiously through the rearview mirror. He says nothing, which is why you glance out the window.
The drive from the airport to Quantico only takes an hour, but you still take the opportunity to close your eyes for a moment and doze a little. You haven't had a decent night's sleep in ages, you don't even know what a healthy portion of sleep feels like anymore, because you haven't had that luxury in the last two years.
As the car comes to a stop in front of the FBI building, you pay the driver and get out with your small bag. The building seems much bigger than you remember. You used to spend every day here, it had once been your home. But now you're not even sure you have a home anymore.
You take a deep breath and enter through the large doors, but are directly approached by a security guard.
"Miss? Are you visiting?", he asks suspiciously, extending his arm to keep you at a distance - something that wouldn't do him much good if you were actually trying to get past him.He eyes you up and down, which you can't blame him for. In your ripped jeans, dirty sneakers, and loose sweater, you don't look like someone who belongs here. By now, you don't either.
You look at him. "I'm here to see Unit Chief Prentiss", you reply coolly. You know he's just doing his job, but you're too impatient to let all this wash over you. You know Emily is already in the office. You know her too well not to. Why doesn't he just go get her? You just want to see your friend.
"Chief Prentiss?" He raises an eyebrow. "And what is your request?"
Your gaze is rock hard and your tone cold as ice. "Tell her Y/N Y/L/N is here to see her."
You wait outside the building, letting the morning sun warm your skin and the cigarette burn between your fingers before you put it to your lips and take a drag. Afterwards, you stub it out on a trash can. As you exhale the last bit of smoke, you turn around. And there she is.
Emily is standing at the door, and when you see her, you drop your bag and wrap her in your arms so tightly that you can't breathe. You cling to her, afraid that maybe this whole thing isn't as real as it feels, but you imperceptibly pinch your arm. And she is still with you.
"I thought - they said", she stammers, and it's the first time in your friendship that she's speechless. You hug her even tighter.
"I know", you answer softly, blinking away the tears that have formed in your eyes. The moment is too beautiful to cry. As you break away from each other, Emily wipes her own tears from her cheeks, but some have already landed on her blouse. There are dark stains now.
"I don't even know what to say", she says, smiling at you as you enter the building together. The guard gives you a look, but doesn't ask any questions as you walk past him toward the elevator. Inside, she pushes a button that takes you to the BAU floor. "I can hardly believe you're really here."
Neither can you.
The office is completely silent because no one is here yet except for you. Although nothing has changed, everything has changed because you are now someone else. It's been a long time since you've been here. Two years, but everything in this room is all too familiar to you. The coffee machine, the law books, the files. It feels like you've never been away. It's déjà vu all over again.
While Emily gets you both coffee, you sit down at the round table and wait for her. Your friend sets the cups down on the table before sitting down next to you. She smiles faintly. "How are you?"
You pucker your mouth. How are you? You haven't been asked that question in ages, and to be honest, you don't know how to answer it either. How could you possibly be?
When you don't answer Emily, she phrases her question differently. "What are you feeling right now?"
Your lips become a thin line. "I don't know. It feels like all of this," you point to the room, "isn't a part of me anymore. Nothing has changed, but it still feels foreign."
Emily nods. "You've been through a lot, I guess." She takes a sip of her coffee. "You're right, Y/N. Nothing has really changed here. But you're a different one now, aren't you?"
You open your mouth to answer her, but you don't know what either. Part of you feels at home here, but a bigger part of you knows your place is somewhere else. You just don't know where exactly.
"Do you want to see the others?", Emily asks. "I'm asking you because it's been a long time since you've seen them. And they think you're...you know. Are you ready for that?"
Are you ready for that? You haven't seen either of them in a long time, and it would probably be better not to see them for now, but to let Emily sort it out first. But the team is your family - the closest thing you have to a family. And you've missed them all terribly.
You nod and take a sip of your coffee as JJ and Rossi enter the room. When they see you, they glance uncertainly at Emily, as if they're not sure if it's just imagination, but she nods at them. And that's when all the dams break for JJ.
She pulls you from your chair and hugs you like the salvation of the world depends on it, and David has to pry her cramped arms from you so he can put his around you as well. They affirm to you how much they missed you and ask how you are, wanting to know what happened, but Tara and Penelope join them and that's when it gets too loud for you.
Penelope cries with joy and Tara also can't believe that you are standing in front of her. They besiege you and ask you questions to which you have no answers, so you just smile weakly at them. They definitely don't mean any harm, after all, you've just risen from the dead for them, but you've spent the last while in silence and are no longer used to this volume. So you turn away from them. They look anxiously after you as you sort of flee from them. You hope that this will make the headache go away.
Without paying much attention to where you're going, you find yourself facing the wall where the pictures of the deceased agents hang. And yours is hanging there, too. You don't know how long you've been standing in front of it - minutes? hours? -until a familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts.
"Y/N?"
You turn around and there stands Spencer. His hair is a little shorter and he looks like he's seen a ghost. Well, he sort of has.
You want to throw yourself into his arms, kiss him, and never let him go. Seeing him knocks the air out of your lungs, which is why you can barely breathe. The two years without him had been hell on earth, but you got through them. For him.
For Spencer, who doesn't take his eyes off you as the blonde woman next to him, whose fingers are intertwined with his, looks at him and asks, "Honey, who's that?"
- tags -
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221bshrlocked · 4 years
Text
That Southern Hospitality
Pairing: Clark Kent X Reader
Words: 8056 (wow this got out of hand)
Warnings: Awkward encounters. Flannel. Forearms. Smut. Dirty talk. Some kinks that might not apply to you including but not limited to hickies, size difference, age gap, flannel shirts, and finally, cum play (if that’s what it’s called). I’m on my period and I’m horny so leave me alone. 
A/N: Listen I’m not sure what happened here. I was minding my own business one minute and the next thing I know, I’m writing this hella long fic because men in plaid shirts are the death of me (Adam Driver in Blackkklansman) but Clark Kent in a plaid shirt/flannel can rip me to pieces and I’d ask him if he could do it again. I know I have other stories to get to and finish, but I got the inspiration and motivation to write this and I decided it was better than not writing any fics at all. Enjoy this hell that is Henry Cavill inspired. This will be up on AO3 with gifs :) Let me know if my smut is still any good.
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Two exams, three research papers, and a shit ton of unnecessary assignments, and here you were doing the laundry because how else would you deal with the stress of this hellish semester. You angrily shoved your second batch of clothes into the washer, occasionally looking at the laptop not too far from you in an attempt to memorize any details of the human chest anatomy. As you measured the bleach and poured it in the washer, you forgot what it was you were reciting in your head, turning to the diagram again and repeating the function of the thymus gland for god knows what time that day. 
So busy with the laundry and making sure you don’t push your laptop over the table by accident, you didn’t notice when someone walked into the room until you stood up and grabbed your orange juice. As you were about to take a sip, you heard someone shuffle behind you before speaking.
“Do you mind if I-” The man didn’t get to finish his question, stepping back when he saw you jump in distress.
“OH MY GOD!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, turning around and not watching where you were stepping as you tried to put space between the two of you. You fell to the floor, your heart hammering in fear before it beat against your chest in anger once you felt the sweet liquid spill all over your shirt. 
“I’m so sorry I didn’t-” The man stepped forward and held out his hand to pull you up, his eyes unintentionally descending to your soaking shirt.
“Jesus Christ what the hell is wrong with you? Trying to give me a heart attack or something?” You took his hand and let him pull you up, grabbing the bottle and its cap before throwing it in the trash. Wiping your face, you were about to say something when you looked up and saw who it was standing with you. Your eyes widened in horror because of course it was the quiet hottie two floors down that had to see you in this rather horrendous circumstance. 
“Believe me I thought you heard me when I walked in but I realized you were probably too invested in that diagram to notice me.” He pointed to your laptop, trying his hardest to avoid looking anywhere below your neck because he really didn’t want to get a boner in these sweatpants. 
“S-sorry about the mess, I’ll clean it up and give you some space.” You smiled nervously at him and were about to move towards the sink when he beat you to it and pulled out some paper towels before placing them on the floor. “Please, let me.” He looked up, his jaws clenching tightly when his eyes saw two hardened peaks teasing him through your wet shirt. He swallowed the lump in his throat and wiped the floor, knowing very well you caught him staring at your chest. When you did finally follow his gaze and looked down, embarrassment washed over you and you quickly crossed your arms to hide yourself. 
He stood up a moment later and reluctantly turned towards you before looking over to see if his laundry was done. When he saw the timer was down to zero, he blinked at your obvious nervousness, immediately unbuttoning his flannel and taking it off before stepping towards you. He could hear your elevated heart rate and felt bad for causing you so much discomfort. Whatever courage you had left was spent when you looked up at him, and boy did you wish you didn’t because you weren’t sure what was going to cause you to faint first, his cologne, the way his blue eyes dilated at seeing you, or how his chest expanded with each breath he took. 
“I am sorry miss. Here, take this so you could finish your laundry.” He held out his flannel to you and watched as you thought it over before reluctantly grabbing it. Who even looked that good in just a wife beater and some old sweatpants?
“W-what about your laundry?” You questioned him, walking towards one of the corners and hoping he wouldn’t turn around as you changed out of your shirt. You could hear him walk away, the sound of the washer unlocking letting you know he was thankfully a few feet away and couldn’t possibly hear your heartbeat. 
“It’s fine, you can keep that until you’re done.” He quickly took his clothes out of the washer and shoved them in his basket, deciding to fold them back in his place because he really didn’t know what he could do should he stay in the same room with you for another moment. By the time you turned around and grabbed your shirt to put it in the washer, he was just about done grabbing his clothes. And when he didn finally look at you, he lost whatever self control he had left, the handle of the basket breaking under his hold and causing you to blink at him. 
You couldn’t really tell what he was thinking. He looked inconvenienced with his tense jaw and the harsh grasp he had on his basket. But he also had this aura of kindness around him, like a gentle giant kind of vibe. “Wow that’s one hell of a flannel collection you got there.” You cringed at the words as soon as they left your lips but he surprisingly didn’t laugh at you. On the contrary, his shoulders relaxed before he smiled at you.
“I grew up on a farm,” he said nothing else and you weren’t sure why his answer made your stomach churn. So he was a lumberjack basically. A sweet, muscular, introverted lumberjack who for some odd reason, lives in the city. 
“Thank you for this, it saved me going up four floors only to come back down again.” The flannel was long enough to be a dress and you nervously played with the long sleeves, not realizing that the more you touched the fabric, the harder he became in his sweatpants. 
“It’s no trouble, miss.” He was about to walk away when you stepped to him and grabbed his arm to stop him, goosebumps erupting on your skin when you realized just how muscular he is. You immediately took your hand away and waited until he met your eyes before speaking again.
“Y/N, my name is Y/N.” 
“I’m Clark.” He smiled and you watched as his incredibly fine, round ass walked away from you. When you were sure he went up the stairs, you swore quiet loudly as you pulled your phone out to call a friend. You couldn’t care less about school work or how you were standing in a stranger’s flannel that smelled way too fucking good. All you cared about was squealing like a teenage girl about the cute neighbor who didn’t miss a beat and offered his clothes because you had to make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him.
Unbeknownst to you, Clark could hear every single word you were saying about him, smiling at the prospect of someone your age gushing about him of all people, an average man who didn’t scream “friendly” to total strangers. Well, he wasn’t average but that didn’t matter. He folded his laundry and continued to eavesdrop on your call, not feeling an ounce of shame because you had so far called him “a greek god,” “a sexy farm boy,” and “a big softie.” Clark honestly wasn’t sure which of these was responsible for the raging hard-on he was suffering from and he didn’t really care because he could hear you compliment his scent to whoever you were on the phone with and he hated how vocal you were about your so-called “attraction” to him. 
By the time you were finished with the phone call, you’d lost all hope of retaining any new information about the human body. Then again, if it were up to you, you could have studied his body. For science of course. All the time you were switching out your clothes and absent-mindedly scrolling through your notes, you couldn’t help but bring the flannel up to your nose, taking in deep breaths and relaxing as his musky scent hit your nostrils.
“Fucking hell he smells good.” You whispered to yourself, feeling the sudden urge to reach down and scratch that itch that’s been bothering you ever since he walked in. And you really were about to do it, had it not been for the drier letting you know your clothes are clean.
So much for wanting to get some studying done. 
You collected your things and made your way up the stairs, halting at the second floor and looking at Clark’s door. It wasn’t that you were a stalker or anything. You just saw him a couple of times returning from work. Granted you’d stare at his ass for a few seconds but you didn’t purposely seek him out. You looked at your clothes and thought to just give him his flannel back but you immediately shook your head, ascending the stairs quickly before you changed your mind. 
Clark was writing a new article when he heard your steps slow down and stop at the top of the stairs. He slowly stood up and approached the door, looking past the wood and watching as you silently debated on something before you thought against it and ran up the stairs. He smiled to himself, knowing he was right and that you wouldn’t return his plaid shirt just yet. 
As soon as you got back to your apartment, you folded your clothes and paced around the empty living room. A heavy sigh made its way past your throat and you looked down at the shirt, wanting very much to relieve your stress but knowing there wasn’t time for that self-care session. You put the kettle on and decided to force yourself to get something done before the sun set. If you weren’t going to memorize that shit then you were certainly going to finish some of the other assignments. 
Surprisingly, you managed to finish one of the research papers by eight and you lounged on your couch and listened to some jazz music as you wrote the discussion responses and questions for your other classes. You were happy that you’d only had the two research papers and the exams to study for. Rubbing your eyes, you managed to shut your laptop before rolling on the couch, staring out your curtains before taking a deep breath. 
And that’s when it hit you.
It was such a stupid thought but for some reason, you genuinely believed you managed to finish all of this studying because of what you were wearing. You looked down at the shirt and pulled it to your nose for god knows what time that day, taking a deep breath before letting your mind wander to the little encounter from earlier. 
You’ve had several crushes before but never like this. Not ones that made you feel peaceful at least. Maybe after this semester was over, you’d muster up the courage to ask him out. But what if he had someone already? How awkward would that be? Surely someone with his manners and looks had a girlfriend, a boyfriend even. 
You didn’t dwell on that for too long, not wanting to grow sad at the prospect of missing your chances with a guy like him. You let your thoughts run over until you fell asleep, not realizing that Clark was also having a hard time riding his mind of you. 
You hoped you could run into him again to avoid the awkward encounter of knocking on his door and giving him his shirt but that never happened. Somehow, you couldn’t get a sight of him for the rest of the week, which was strange considering how often you managed to get a glimpse of the man. And you noticed you’d started to stress out again when you realized his scent grew incredibly weak, the flannel no longer bringing you peace of mind as it has for the past few days. 
There were only five days left and even though you had turned in all your research papers and taken one exam (and miraculously passed it), you still felt like shit. Five days to study for an exam should have been a Christmas gift compared to some of the schedules you had to deal with for the past two years, but you didn’t feel like studying and you hated that you knew what was keeping you from focusing. 
You distracted yourself with numerous things, buying unnecessary clothes and accessories online and even calling your friend and asking her what show you could binge watch next.
“Fuck this shit,” you threw your pillow across the room and grabbed your phone, ordering some take out before pulling up all of your human anatomy notes in an attempt to study again. You looked around your apartment and saw the plaid shirt on the other end of the couch, rolling your eyes at the sudden need to wear it because if that meant you could focus even for a few minutes, you were definitely going to put it on. 
A few minutes passed and you were still on the same diagram, swearing out loud when you heard the doorbell ring. 
“Well that was quick,” you grabbed a five dollar bill to tip the driver, unlocking the door and pulling it harder than intended. 
And then you forgot how to breathe for a second because shit shit shit Clark was standing in front of you and you were wearing his shirt and he was looking you up and down and fuck this was not okay. You silently cursed yourself because he was definitely going to think you were weird for wearing it when you had your own damn clothes. 
“Hey,” was the only thing Clark managed to say because his neurons decided to misfire and not form a proper sentence. Goddamn his clothes looked so much better on you.
“H-hi.” 
Clark cleared his throat and pretended he wasn’t gawking at you, holding out a few letters and waiting until you took them before he said anything else. 
“These were in my box by accident. Sorry about that. I think a few of them might be late, I haven’t been here all week.” You watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down before he pushed up his glasses and finally looked at you. 
“Oh, thank you. Was it vacation week or something?” Of all the things you could have asked to not sound pathetically desperate, that should have been the last of them. 
“Far from it, I was on an assignment and I had to go to Gotham to interview some businessman for the Daily Planet. Just got back.” He fixed the strap of his bag before shoving his hands in his pockets and such a simple gesture shouldn’t have made you drool but here you were. 
“You’re a reporter?” Somehow, that made sense but it was weird to see someone who grew up on a farm come to the city and take the oddest job. 
“Yeah.”
“That sounds nice.” You didn’t know what else to say, awkwardly shifting on your feet and hoping he’d continue the conversation for your sake. 
“It is most of the time, but then you have to sit down with eccentric billionaires and then it’s not so fun anymore.” Clark remarked and he was struck with a soft chuckle that almost made him lose his balance. 
“Let me guess, the infamous Bruce Wayne wasn’t as charming as everyone says he is.” You took a step forward and leaned against the door frame, noticing the way Clark stepped closer to you as well. 
“How did you know?” Clark said with a hint of sarcasm and you shook your head before looking past him and silently cursing when you saw the delivery guy approaching you.
“I’ve got an order for Y/N.” The young man took one look at Clark before he knew it was best for him to just deliver the food and leave. 
“Here, thank you so much.” You handed him the tip and smiled when he waved back at you.
“I’ll leave you to eat then,” Clark was about to walk away when you reached out and stopped him.
“Or you could come in? I ordered way too much food anyway.” You hoped you weren’t being too forward with him and let out a breath when he turned around and faced you.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.” 
“You’re not.” You said way too quickly to your liking but knew it was worth it when he sent you that dashing smile again. He walked in and set his bag down before following you to the living room. 
“Make yourself at home,” you set down the food on the table in front of the couch before walking to the kitchen to grab a few plates and some drinks. When you walked back and handed him the beer to open until you brought out all the food, he raised an eyebrow at you and asked the question he’d been wanting to ask ever since he saw you.
“Are you old enough to be drinking this?” He asked jokingly and hoped you didn’t find his question too weird.
“Hey hey I’ll have you know I am not as young as I look.” You playfully raised your voice and watched as he held his hands up in defeat.
“Just want to make sure I’m not breaking the law or anything.” 
“I’m about to turn 23 so relax.” You sat down next to him, shoving the laptop to the side and grabbing the beer from his hand before rolling your eyes at him.
“So you are as young as you look then!” Clark hoped his tone still held some playfulness because he didn’t want you to know how turned on he was because of the age gap. Not that he expected anything. 
“I’m old enough…” You let the words hang in the air, pretending you were focusing on splitting the food evenly between the two of you. Clark narrowed his eyes at you before shifting them towards the bit of skin peaking through the buttons of his shirt. 
Fuck, his shirt. 
“Thanks for this, I definitely wouldn’t have bothered to cook for myself tonight.” He broke the silence, trying to think of anything but you wearing that shirt around the apartment. And he really didn’t want to picture you going to sleep in it. 
“Of course, I gotta return a bit of that southern hospitality after all.” You took a bite of the food and were about to say something when he beat you to it.
“And here I was thinking you could have just returned the shirt.” Of all the things you thought he was going to say, that was definitely not one of them because as far as you knew, he was not a confrontational man.
“I- uhhh, I was going t-”
“Relax sweetheart, I’m just teasing.” You almost choked on the food when he winked at you and you hoped to the almighty he wasn’t just pulling your leg. If your friend was here, she would have probably told you to play hard to get. But you were tired, and you didn’t think Clark was the kind of guy to enjoy that. He was older than you after all and he probably didn’t enjoy that childish behavior.
“Honestly, your shirt managed to help me with my stress.” When he said nothing and continued to stare at you, you decided you should probably apologize. “Sorry that sounded weird. Here I am being super creepy when you were just being nice. Probably don’t need this drama anyway.” You moved to get up and were about to head toward your room when you felt a hand wrap around your wrist and pull you back down. 
“Don’t. You’re being honest. It’s a breath of fresh air actually.” You weren’t sure what made your heart race, the way he was looking at you or the warm fingers he had still wrapped around your wrist. You smiled all the same, nodding awkwardly before reaching for your laptop. You touched the mouse bar so the screen didn’t sleep and turned your attention to Clark again.
“Still studying the anatomy?” Clark pointed to the screen, finishing up his food and thanking you for it before standing up to throw away the empty boxes.
“I actually stopped studying for it this past week. Had other more important assignments and exams to finish. You sure you don’t want any more?” You closed the two other boxes and followed him to the kitchen, placing the boxes in the fridge before grabbing the plates and forks to place in the sink.
“I’m good thank you. When is this exam then?” He stood at the sink and folded his sleeves, the action not going unnoticed by you. When you looked up and saw that he was staring at you, you cleared your throat and went to the table to clean the rest of the things. 
“It’s in five days and I really couldn’t care less because if I have to memorize one more fucking muscle, I’m going to lose my shit.” Clearing away everything, you washed your hands as well and followed him back to the couch, pretending you weren’t checking out his thighs that were currently spread out across his seat. Fuck he looked good.
“Maybe I can help with that.” Clark said before he could think twice about the bizarre idea
“How? Do you secretly know Professor Stevens and could talk to him for me so I don’t have to take the exam?” You jokingly asked, scrolling through the powerpoint to try and see which group you had to study next. When you didn’t hear a response and looked up, you saw Clark staring at you with an expression that you couldn’t quite understand. 
“I sadly don’t know Professor Stevens, but I’ve heard that it’s easier to study these things when you have a real life example to map out.” There wasn’t an inch of hesitance in his words and Clark was finding it very hard to keep a straight face when you looked so flustered. 
“Is this where you tell me you’re secretly a serial killer and I’m about to become one of your cadevers?” You tried to diffuse the sudden tension growing between you two but Clark never once dropped his gaze, setting his beer down on the table before standing up and rolling down his sleeves.
“No, but I am a willing participant and I will gladly be your example.” He didn’t give you a chance to respond, pulling his blue and green plaid shirt out of his jeans before unbuttoning the front, all the while making sure you never looked away. 
By the time he was finished, you could feel how soaked your panties were and you hoped he didn’t notice you shift in your seat. When he smiled, you knew he did.
“Oh,” you whispered when he opened his shirt and took it off, leaving him in the wife beater and tight, dark jeans. You took a deep breath to try and relax your mind but then he pulled the white material out of his jeans in one swift move and you were left staring at his incredibly muscular, slightly hairy chest that had you wanting to jump his bones right away. 
He sat down again, this time much closer to you. You cleared your throat before turning to your laptop and scrolling to the diagram about the bones, looking it over before facing Clark again and silently asking him if you could move closer. When he raised an eyebrow and nodded at you, you cleared your throat before taking his arm and pulling it on your lap. 
You should’ve known it would be heavy considering how muscular he was but nothing prepared you for how soft his arm would be, even with all the hair. This was not the time to be horny and yet here you were, wanting to do something else with his fingers. 
Softly, you took his hand and rested it on your lap, tracing his fingers as you called out the different bones on the limb. “Phalanges…metacarpals…c-carpals.” You spent a little bit longer on his wrist, turning it up before softly passing over the veins of his arms. When you realized you weren’t actually moving over the bones, you blinked rapidly before continuing to his arm. His arm was now rating completely on your lap and although his hand was facing the ceiling, you couldn’t help but feel like he was purposely making sure he was touching the skin of your thighs. 
Dismissing the wild thought, you applied pressure with one hand on his ulna while the other passed over the hair of his arm and mirrored your actions but on his radius. When you looked up, you saw Clark’s piercing blue eyes staring into yours, not bothering to hide his obvious fascination with your lips before looking down to where you were touching him. You swallowed the lump in your throat before moving your hand to the humerus, not bothering to linger on his arm because you knew very well which bones that was. 
Before you could convince yourself not to, you decided the hell with being appropriate, hands continuing their journey up to his shoulders before lingering over the clavicle, finding it incredibly sexy because it was protruding. And when your other hand moved to his chest and splayed across the center, you made sure to never look away from his suddenly dilated pupils, pushing on the hard center and whispering “sternum.”
“You’re doing pretty well darling…don’t know why you’re worried about this exam.” Clark’s jaw was tense and you knew he was as affected by you as you were by him. 
“I’m more worried about muscle groups if I’m being honest.” You replied breathlessly, not expecting him to reach over and pull you on his lap. You gasped before settling down on him, not bothering to be sly when you moved your hips and found him hard beneath you.
“Get up close and personal Y/N, I don’t mind.” Clark smiled when you grabbed his arm and brought it close to you again, tracing the forearm and whispering the muscles as you touched each of them. “Flexor carpi ulnaris…E-extensor carpi radialis longus…ah fuck.” You couldn’t take it anymore, swearing when you felt his other hand grasp your thighs and squeeze them. 
“Focus,” he dared to warn you, chuckling when you narrowed your eyes at him in warning. 
You continued to move your fingers on his arm, no longer shying away from feeling him up a bit more. As soon as you reached his biceps and named the muscle, Clark was flexing beneath you, the small reflex turning you on way more than it should have. You lingered on his biceps a bit more than you should have and Clark noticed, the fingers of the arm you were studying wrapping around your upper arm before jerking you in his arms.
“I said focus.” His tone was dangerous and you couldn’t help the little drag you took across his thighs. Clark looked down at you before raising his eyebrows, his chest expanding with pride because your self-control was slipping just as his.
“D-deltoid,” you passed over his shoulders before finally reaching where you’ve wanted to touch him for so long. As soon as you placed both of your hands over his chest and whispered “pectoralis,” Clark was wrapping his arms around you and pulling you towards him, lips crashing against yours so aggressively you almost thought you broke your teeth. He was hungry to touch you, his arms not letting up once as he devoured your mouth. When you tried to pull away to breathe, Clark moaned against you, fingers pushing the back of your head towards him so he could suck on your tongue. 
A few seconds later, he finally realized the two of you needed to breathe, letting go before continuing his attack down your neck. You found yourself pushing your body to him, sighing and moaning when you felt his teeth nip and suck on whatever skin he had access to.
“Jesus fucking Christ, do you have…any idea, how sexy you look in my shirt?” He paused in between words to kiss your neck before deciding he wanted your mouth again. You didn’t have much choice, giving yourself over to him and not bothering to attempt to have any control of the man beneath you. To say you were surprised by how needy and bold he suddenly was would have been the understatement of the century. 
“God damn baby, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you last week. Not when you looked so embarrassed with these pretty tits begging me to get an eyeful of’em.” He leaned down and bit you through the shirt, not caring how ridiculous he probably looked. 
“Ohh Clark…please.” You weren’t sure what it was you were begging him for and you couldn’t care less.
“What do you want darling? I’ll give you anything you want. You’ve been such a good little sweetheart, wearin’ my shirt all week long. Were you Y/N?” You didn’t realize he was asking a question until he pulled away and lightly smacked your ass, begging you to answer him.
“Wh-what?”
“I asked, were you wearin’ my shirt all week?” 
“Oh god fuck, yes. Yes I was.” You tried to get out of his grasp to touch him but he didn’t let you, teh vice grip he had around your waist letting you know he wasn’t planning on letting up anytime soon.
“Such a pretty darling. Tell me Y/N, why didn’t you give it to me when you were done?” Before you could answer him, Clark was maneuvering you around, and for some reason, you were still surprised by the sheer power this man had because he handled you as if you weighed nothing. You found yourself buried under the hunk of flesh, and although you should have felt somewhat claustrophobic, you didn’t. On the contrary, you felt safe surrounded by him.
“I- it’s going to sound stupid.” You tried to distract him because you were afraid he’d think you were weird. 
“Please, baby. Tell me.” The man cooed in your ears and you were amazed by how soft he was being when a moment ago, he was just about ready to devour you.
“Y-you smell nice…your cologne, it helped me get work done. A-and I slept better when I wore it. Made me feel safe.” You couldn’t look at him, not wanting to drive him away by your obsession. You did only meet a week ago. 
You took his silence for disgust and were about to push him away when he crushed you with his weight, stopping all thoughts of wanting to get away from him.
“Fucking hell Y/N, you’re going to be the death of me.” As soon as you looked into his eyes, Clark was pushing you further into the couch, his lips savoring every inch of your own, biting and engulfing them like a madman.
“Shouldn’t have gone to Gotham. Should’ve stayed here and tried to ask you out.” He was babbling nonsense, taking both of your hands in his and raising him high above your head. 
“Oh god Clark…”
“Have dinner with me baby?”
“Yes anything. I’ll do anything you want me to do…j-just don’t stop. Please don’t stah-ahh,” you screamed in surprise when you heard buttons clattering across the floor, looking down at the ruined shirt before attempting to focus on Clark.
He was smiling devilishly at you, maintaining eye contact as he ripped the rest of the shirt before giving your newly exposed skin some attention. The man somehow was becoming sexier by the second and you had a feeling tonight would be a night you’d never forget.
He kissed up your stomach, licking the valley between your breasts before winking at you. Before you could beg him to not do the same with your bra, he was already ripping it in half, not bothering with your little whines as he attacked your nipples. You were a moaning mess beneath him, his name like a prayer on your lips as he sucked and bit and pinched your hardened peaks. 
Clark continued his assault on you, not caring that you were shaking in his arms at this point. You were torn between looking down at him and throwing your head back to enjoy the sensations coursing through you. He moaned and growled as he sucked and pinched your nipples harder, occasionally jutting his hips and showing you just how much he wanted to have you.
It was so little, crept up on you without you noticing. Almost as if it was forced out of you. At a particular thrust of his hips, you were arching your back and pushing your breasts into his face, swearing and screaming his name until he slowly eased you down from your little high.
“Did…did you just-” Clark didn’t move a muscle, his cock finally catching up with his brain because did he just make you come without even touching your pussy?
“C-clark.” You sighed his name, looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes when you suddenly realized what just happened. 
Before you could attempt an apology at how pathetic your body was, Clark was sitting up and trying to take his pants off. When you saw him fumbling through the simplest of tasks, you felt heated and proud to have made this man a mess, unbuckling his belt and throwing it away before pushing down the zipper and trying to kick his pants down. He barely managed to take off his shoes and socks, marveling at how soft and warm your hands were against his skin as you dragged his jeans down his legs. 
“I need you, please. I need you inside me Clark. Now.” You begged insistently, no longer bothered by how needy this man made you. He nodded frantically and was about to pull down his boxer briefs when he remembered something. You watched him look around for something, furrowing your eyebrows at him before you realized what it was he wanted. “On the pill.” You half-yelled at him, not wanting to waste anymore time because you were so close to finally having him. He nodded at you and quickly got rid of his boxers, standing up and watching as your facial expression hardened and fear washed over your skin. 
“Oh fuck,” you swore louder than you intended, eyes shifting from his leaking cock to his face. How the hell were you going to fit that in you?
“Shit, baby don’t look at me like that. W-we can stop. I could just-” Clark tried to slow down, not wanting to hurt or even scare you in any way. 
“You kidding me? I’ve only been thinking about you fucking me senseless ever since I saw you. You’ll fit, it’ll be tight but y-you’ll fit. Just- just be gentle…go slow.” Your words slowed down as you became less and less positive that he was, in fact, going to fit his cock inside you and you watched as it twitched between his legs with every comment you said. 
“Fuck, don’t say things like that darling.” Clark was slowly losing himself in you, but he really didn’t want to let that affect him in any other way. He leaned down slowly, pulling you up until you were standing on one foot before turning you around in his arms and laying back on the couch with you on top of him. 
“Come here Y/N.” He whispered in your ears, wanting to feel your weight on top of him to remind him of how fragile you were in his arms. 
“Clark, I-” You turned your head to try and look at him, shutting your eyes when you felt his hands roaming your body. 
“Shhh sweetheart I got you. I’ll go slow, won’t even hurt you. But you have to promise that, ah fuck, i-if you do feel like you can’t do this, tell me. Don’t wanna lose you Y/N.” You weren’t sure what made you shudder, how kind he was even when he was painfully hard, or how he was making sure to let you know this wasn't just sex for him.
You nodded against him, spreading your legs across his thighs and looking down to see where his hands stopped. He made small circles around the outer lips of your pussy, groaning in your ears when he felt how wet and hot you were for him.
“Ready for me?” Clark reluctantly asked, waiting until you hummed your approval before grabbing his cock and inching the leaking tip into your pussy. He stopped moving when he felt you throw your head back against him, about to ask you if it was too much when you grabbed his hand and moved it towards your center, where you were joined. 
“F-fuck ahh Clark, y-you can keep going.” You barely managed to say to him, focusing on your lower muscles and trying to loosen up a bit to get used to him. Clark on the other hand was having a hard time, in more ways than one, trying to not shove his dick all the way inside of you. But when he heard your little plea, he couldn’t deny you anything, thrusting up into you and waiting until you adjusted to him stretching you out before moving again.
Within minutes, you were a mess above him, repeating his name over and over as you felt his cock reach so deep inside you while his hand circled around your clit.
“Fucking hell Y/N, you’re so tight. So warm and tight…such a good darling aren’t you?” He whispered words of encouragement in your ears, continuing to slowly buck his hips up into you as his hands touched your skin. 
“Clark, you feel so good…stretching me out like no one else. I- oh god ohh my god yes right there, I’ve never had big cock like you before.” You were sure he was going to split you in half and the thought of him destroying you made you even wetter. You could hear him pushing in and out of you, your juices letting him slide in easier than a few minutes before.
“Yeah baby just like that, keep taking my cock. You’re so good to me darling…made for me. Could spend hours inside you Y/N, if you only let me.” Clark kissed your shoulders before biting and sucking red marks across your neck, wanting to touch you anywhere he could reach. 
You finally managed to turn your head around enough to look at him, forcing your eyes to open and gasping when you could barely make out the blue of his orbs. You leaned down and kissed him, holding onto the hand snaked around your thighs and pleasuring you before you felt a different kind of heat spread inside you. 
Clark came with a growl, holding you down to him as he continued to fuck you. You fisted your hands around the couch, shaking in his arms when you felt him harden even more inside you. 
“Clark, you…did you-”
“Please baby, can I keep fucking you? Please, you feel like heaven.” You were sure you died and went to a different reality because this man did not have a refractory period and was probably going to be the death of you.
“Yes, fuck, yes okay just- I need to look at you, touch you, move with you.”
“Shit yeah alright I can do that, let me.” Clark slowly sat up, pulling you off of him and wincing when the cold air hit his skin. He didn’t give you a chance to get used to being empty, immediately pulling you onto his lap and lowering you down on his still hard cock before leaning up to kiss you. You hissed at the stretch again, distracting yourself with his lips and the flexing muscles beneath your hands to not think of how deep he was reaching inside of you.
Supporting your weight on him, you started riding him at a slightly quicker pace, wanting to come on his cock just once before he continued to use you to get off. 
“Come on Y/N, want to feel this pretty little cunt come ‘round me. Please darling, will you give me that? Will you come around me? So..f-fucking good,” Clark reached around and grabbed your ass, finding it incredibly sexy that you were scratching his chest to release some of that tension you felt from having him stretch you out.
Hearing him begging you to come around him was probably what had done it.. Or perhaps it was the way his muscles rippled beneath you each time you sought out his skin for support. It didn’t matter in the end because Clark fucked you through your orgasm, whispering nonsensical things in your ears and waiting until you returned to your senses before he asked you a question.
He remained motionless to not distract you, pulling you to his chest to kiss you again before nuding you to answer him.
“Let’s move this to the bedroom?” Clark asked, perhaps the third or fourth time, chuckling against you when you just nodded and wrapped your limbs around him. He carefully stood up, refusing to pull out while trying to not hurt you and push in any further. You didn’t show any sign of discomfort when he stood to his full height, slowly walking around the table towards the only hallway in the apartment. 
When he did get to your room, he wrapped his arms around your back and made sure to lay down on the bed without breaking the hazy spell you were under. When he was sure you were comfortable, he supported his weight on his arms and pulled away from your neck to get a better look at you. 
He found you smiling and staring back at him, hands moving his sweaty hair away from his handsome face while the other one still held onto his arms. 
“Clark.” The way you said his name twisted something in his stomach and he knew that he couldn’t possibly go on without telling you his secret. He didn’t want to risk putting your life in danger, but something told him you’d be willing to take that chance for him. At least he hoped he was worth it to you.
“Y/N, I-”
“Please, move…let me make you feel good baby.” You cut him off, knowing he was probably trying to say something that didn’t need to be addressed anytime soon.
And my god, when he did start thrusting into you again, it was like you found the answer to a question you never knew you had. He was so gentle, kissing you everywhere and smiling when he saw the dazed expression aimed at him. He continued to whisper sweet things in your ear, occasionally pinching your nipples or rubbing your clit with his navel. 
You arched your back against him, feeling the familiar tug in your lower stomach but wanting to wait until he came with you. You could tell Clark was chasing after his orgasm because his grunts grew louder and his rhythm faltered. His arms moved from caging you in to grabbing your neck and pushing you up to him so he could kiss you. In the end, it was his neediness that pushed you over the edge, crying out his name as you felt him thrust into you one, two, three times before you felt the familiar heat fill your insides.
Had you had one functioning neuron, you would have marveled at how much more he came the second time around. But you didn’t.
The both of you stayed wrapped around each other until Clark realized that should he stay inside you any longer, he would probably go for round three, and the last thing he wanted was to freak you out by how long he could go. 
When he finally forced himself to pull out, he swore under his breath at the sight of his cum leaking out of you and before he could stop himself, he was pushing his cum back into your cunt, smirking with pride when your legs shook and you winced at the thick fingers pushing in and out of you.
Clark, however, was surprised when he didn pull his fingers out and watched as you grabbed his wrist and pulled the two digits into your mouth, never losing eye contact as you licked and sucked his fingers till they were clean.
“You’re going to be the death of me Y/N.” Clark smiled before falling to the side and wrapping his arms around you. You sighed happily, looking up at him as you traced shapes around his chest. 
“I didn’t hurt you did I?” Clark asked to make sure you weren’t feeling any discomfort. 
“Pretty sure I won’t be able to walk for the next few days but fuck me it was worth it.”
“Careful what you wish for Y/N.” Clark warned and you laughed against him before you snuggled into his embrace. 
A few minutes passed in silence before you realized you needed to ask him what’s been on your mind ever since he walked into your apartment.
“You aren’t put off by my age are you?” Clark looked quizzically at you before pushing up to his elbows, making sure you knew he was giving you his undivided attention. You continued to play with his chest hair, refusing to look at him when you elaborated. “I just know that…well, sometimes, older guys don’t take younger girls too seriously and..what I wanted to tell you was-”
“This wasn’t just sex to me Y/N. I want to go on dates with you. I want to take you out to galas we have at work. I want to help you out when you’re too stressed or when you need to vent about something. I want to be here with you. If anything, I feel like you deserve someone your age.” Clark combed back your hair, taking the hand on his chest and bringing it to his lips before kissing it over and over again.
“I don’t think I can find anyone my age that’ll make me feel as safe as you make me.” Clark would never get used to hearing you admit you feel safe with him. It did something to him knowing you weren’t one to shy away from vocalizing your thoughts and emotions. 
“You mean you won’t find a guy who’ll let you steal his shirts and walk around with them.” You punched his chest and allowed yourself to breathe again because now that you got this off your chest, you could be sort of normal again. 
Clark was about to say something when he felt you trace his skin again, the hairs on his arms feeling standing up at your obvious attraction to him. He wasn’t a vain man, far from it, but he felt happy that you were pleased with him. 
“Don’t tempt me sweetheart.”
“What? I’m just reviewing for the exam. You don’t want me to fail do you?” You asked playfully, hoping to god he didn’t feel weird by how much you wanted to touch him.
“By all means, review.” Clark laid his head over his arms, flexing the muscles you were currently “studying” before looking down and raising an eyebrow at you. “But I’m not responsible for what’s to follow.”
“Is that a promise or a warning?”
In the blink of an eye, Clark was shoving himself between your legs, shamelessly rolling his hips against your wet core and not caring that you probably needed some rest before you went for it again.
“It’s just my southern hospitality darling.”
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Supercorp 26 if you’d please?!
"Yeah? Well, fuck you too."
Kara fought the urge to flinch at the harsh way the woman beside her slams her phone down in the space between them.
Kara was sat peacefully in her usual park bench today, like every day when she's got a few extra minutes on her lunch break. She's spotted this woman a few yards away, next to the drinking fountain, angrily talking into her phone.
An expensive looking, six-inch heel wearing, raven-haired woman.
Kara had observed her for a good few minutes before getting distracted by the ice cream truck.
By the time she came back to the park bench, said woman was already sitting next to her spot. Still ranting away into her phone.
Kara doesn't know whether to pity the creature on the other side of the phone or be curious. What could they have possibly done to warrant such a violent reaction???
The woman now has her hands pressed to her face, back hunched low, elbows resting on knees. Kara can feel the frustration rolling off of her in waves.
Kara gingerly pushes the 2nd cup of her ice cream towards her. It was a half-hearted decision really, she was excited to finish the second cup. But oh, well, when life calls for kindness Kara would deliver.
"Uhm, here, you sound like you had a bad day."
The woman slowly raises their head, looks at the offering in Kara's hands and then to Kara and then to the ice cream and then to Kara again.
Her eyes were a light green mixing with gold in the open sunlight of the park.
For a moment, Kara thinks, she wouldn't accept.
But then, pale hands reach towards hers and then, "Thank you."
Kara smiles brightly, perks up a bit at the approval.
'Of course," Kara says. "Nothing like ice cream to cheer you up!"
The woman gives her a small polite small, nods slowly and brings the plastic teaspoon to her lips.
Kara should not have been distracted by such a mundane gesture.
But here we are.
She tries to hide her blush, fidgets with her glasses and takes a spoonful herself before speaking again.
"So, if you don't mind me asking, what's got you so upset? I mean you totally don't have to tell me! If you don't want to, that is! I mean who am I, right? I'm probably a serial killer for all you know, but also would serial killers offer you ice cream, though? I don't think they would, I think they'd straight up just mur-"
Kara glances at the woman who seems to be holding her free hand over her face in an attempt to cover her amusement.
"Please stop me," Kara pleads. The other woman's shoulders shake in silent laughter before saving Kara.
"First off, thank you again. For this." She raises the cup playfully. "Second of all, it was just a work thing. But nothing I can't figure out and for the record, I also don't think serial killers would offer you ice cream."
And then more hesitantly the woman asks, "Do you have a sibling?"
Kara doesn't know if she should answer, the sibling question has no relevance to their current conversation after all. But Kara finds herself nodding along.
"Oh, yeah. I do. A sister. I have an older sister,' She elaborates.
"Good. Great. Then you know that feeling when your mom asks your sibling to do some chore and then somehow somewhere along the way, the chore ends up being your responsibility even though you weren't the one who was supposed to do it anyway??"
Wow, okay. That was a lot to take in. But Kara got most of it. And yeah, she does know. Snippets of Alex sneaking out and telling Kara to wash the dishes for her or fold the laundry for her--errands that were Alex's job getting passed down to her. Alex using the 'I'm older do as I say.' card when they were younger.
So, again, Kara finds herself nodding along.
"Yeah. I get what you mean," She says.
"Now, take whatever scenario in your mind and then multiply that ten-fold. Multiply it to disastrous proportions. To corporate, career-ending proportions,' The woman tells her, her irritation once again showing.
"Oh, oh wow, that sounds really bad?' It comes out like a question, she doesn't really know what to tell this woman. She doesn't want to say, Well, I think your sibling is an ass if they do that to you, she thinks that might be too much, might be overstepping a bit.
But then, "Oh yeah, my brother's an ass."
Oh, so not too much then.
Her companion lets out a deep sigh, "But what can you do? You can't change family. Not like I have much of a choice anyway."
The woman sounds defeated, tired. And it's only then that Kara notices how her eyes are sunken and how unnaturally pale she really is.
Kara wants to console her, to tell her that everyone always has a choice, every single one--even angry women she met in the park. You can always choose who you want as your family.
But instead Kara says, "Well, that's okay. Just look on the bright side, at least you got a free ice cream over it, right?"
The woman gives her another smile. A big smile, a real one this time.
And oh, she looks really beautiful when she smiles.
"I guess you're right. Thank you, really. I appreciate it very much," She tells Kara. "But I do have to get going now. Thank you again."
The woman collects her trash, picks up her phone and leaves Kara sitting there, a 'You're welcome!' stuck in her throat.
It isn't till the woman is lost to the crowd that Kara realizes she didn't ask for her name.
She tries to push down the disappointment, no use crying about it now. And besides, it's her first real interview today. Her first real exclusive and...she is so damn late.
******
"Miss Danvers, there have been a slight change of plans. Mr. Luthor seems to be unavailable for today but he did sent Ms. Luthor, LexCorp's R&D chief, to discuss the interview with you today."
Well, Kara can't really do anything about it can she? This is what Clark and Cat Grant had warned her about, people like Lex Luthor, making a journalist's job harder that it actually is.
"Oh, well, thank you for informing me. Can I go in now then?"
"Uh, yeah. Follow me please, it's just through here."
Kara is led through a long hallway of empty conference rooms and walls with abstract painting.
They reach the double doors at the end of the lobby and the petite woman guiding her, went on inside.
"Ms. Luthor, your CatCo appointment is here."
Kara hears a curt and brief, "Thanks Jess."
And then, there, sitting in a pristine office, National City skyline behind her is Lena Luthor--angry park bench seatmate who ate Kara's precious 2nd cup of ice cream.
Lena's eyes sparkle with recognition at the sight of Kara.
Her lips curling into a smirk.
"Oh, and who are you exactly?"
prompt list here
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Hero is young compared to Supervillain. Supervillain can tell Hero is getting depressed and overwhelmed so they send their druggie/fuck up of a son, Villain, to fuck with Hero. Villain gets Hero to drink, smoke pot, etc and they wind up sleeping together which causes Hero to latch onto Villain. Villain doesn't feel here or there about Hero; They'll take the companionship, but they're dealing with their own shit so this is just a way to distract themself.
Request #15
Warning: nsfw, dub-con, alcohol & drug intake, manipulation.
A bit of a more complex one, but fun nonetheless!
Enjoy! [:
~~~~
Hero heaved out a tired sigh as the thugs they had just stopped a few minutes ago got taken away by the police. They collapsed down into a sitting position, legs hanging off the side of the rooftop they were on. The hero stifled a yawn and rubbed at their sore eyes, dark circles hiding beneath their mask. As they watched the city's artificial lights mix with the moonlight's glow, their mind began to wander to places they did not want to visit but really couldn't stop themself from exploring.
At the same time, on top of a nearby building, two figures cloaked in the darkness observed as Hero got lost in their thoughts.
"Damn, I can't even see their face, and this bitch still looks depressed as fuck." - Villain muttered, their own mind tired but still much more 'collected' than the hero's. Their comment earned them a look from their superior, Supervillain.
"Just go and get the job done." - the older criminal ordered, a dark hint to their voice. The villain silently stood there for a moment before giving them a small shrug and moving towards the rooftop's edge.
"You got it, pops." - they responded in a monotone voice and jumped towards the next building. Villain moved from one rooftop to another, their footsteps silent, undetectable, deadly.
"If only all that skill had gone to someone less pathetic." - the supervillain thought bitterly and then retreated out of sight, disappearing amidst the shadows.
Hero, still unaware of the presence standing right behind them, quietly mumbled to themself, "...Why the hell did I pick this job...?"
"I dunno, 'cause you're a dumbass?" - the villain answered from behind the hero, startling them and nearly making them fall off the edge. They hurriedly got up into a fighting stance, ready to defend themself.
Villain only snorted in amusement, walking to the edge and sitting next to where Hero had been just a moment ago. They patted the ground next to them, inviting the hero to sit, "How's about we talk instead, ay?"
With a small grin, they added, "You look like you could use a break."
"..."
Hero, very much convinced this was some sort of trick, continued to stand there, ready for combat. The villain's grin left their face, and they turned their gaze to the city below. "Alright then, guess I'll just do the talking."
"..."
"So, like I was saying. You're a dumbass."
"..."
"Like, come on, man, you think you can just keep up this little heroic act forever?"
"Yes." - Hero finally answered through gritted teeth.
"Oh! So you can talk after all! You're still lying to yourself, though." - Villain said, a stupid smile on their face that infuriated the other to no end. It upset them because the criminal was right. And Hero hated that fact so much.
Deciding to keep up their lies, the hero responded, "I'm doing perfectly fine, thank you very much."
"Yeah, 'cause sulking all by yourself on a random rooftop in the middle of the night sounds so healthy." - Villain pressed, pissing Hero off even more, their body slowly shaking with anger.
"Ugh! Just what do you want?!" - they exclaimed, glaring at their enemy. They didn't have time for this! They- They didn't want to deal with this... They knew just how miserable they were... they didn't need a reminder...
"I just wanna help ya out." - the villain answered, giving the hero an oddly convincing look. There was pity in their eyes, but also... understanding?
Gah! No, that makes no sense! What could... Villain possibly know...
"You want to... help me...?"
"Yup!"
"...Why?"
Villain silently looked at them for a moment before their eyes went to the city lights once more. "Everybody needs a break from their own mind's bullshit every once in a while, no?" - They quietly asked.
Hero was unsure of how to respond, doubt creeping into their thoughts. Should they trust them? Perhaps... just one time wouldn't hurt? Before they could answer, however, the villain stood and offered them their hand, catching them off guard again. "Come on. You could use a distraction."
"And so could I..." - Villain thought, as they watched the hero internally battle themself, considering their options. After what felt like an eternity of silence, Hero relaxed their stance and, with a small sigh, slowly approached the villain and took their hand.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"This is where you live?" - Hero questioned, a bit astonished at the state of the apartment the villain had taken them to. While the place was a decent size, it was an absolute mess. Dirty laundry and trash were scattered everywhere; it smelled about as good as it looked.
"Then again... who am I to judge...?" - the hero thought bitterly, remembering that their own home wasn't looking that much better.
"Lovely little place I got, ay?" - Villain responded, dropping themself onto a big gross couch. What were all those stains from exactly? Hero decided they didn't need to nor want to know and sat next to them.
"Uh... yeah. So, what exactly are we here for?" - the hero asked, looking to the villain. The other merely scooted to the edge of the couch and pushed some trash aside, revealing a cooler. They pulled out two beers from it, handing one to their nemesis.
Before Hero could say anything, Villain, seemingly out of nowhere, pulled out a bottle opener and cracked both their drinks open. The villain immediately took a swig while the hero sat there for a moment, staring at their own bottle silently before thinking, "Oh, fuck it." and chugging nearly half of it.
"Ay! There ya go, Hero!" - Villain grinned, giving them a rough but friendly pat on the shoulder. Hero couldn't help but smirk a little themself. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad?
And then Villain pulled out a bag of some questionable powder.
The hero looked at them skeptically, taking another swig of their drink to cool their nerves. Their hesitance didn't go unnoticed by the other, who gave them an even wider grin. "Have you ever tried it?"
"Well.. no..." - Hero answered, the alcohol slowly getting to their system. God, why were they such a lightweight?
"Then don't knock it." - Villain continued, dumping the powder onto the table in front of the two, arranging it into neat little lines. The hero watched intently as the other leaned down and took one of the lines, inhaling it through their nose.
Hero set their beer aside and did their best to copy them.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A few hours have passed. Both Hero and Villain were now waisted the fuck out of their minds, barely comprehending any of their actions. The two were leaning against each other, blabbering some nonsense that made them giggle.
The villain's hands suddenly found their way to the other's chest, lightly trailing up and down it. "Say, Hero, wanna make this even more fun?"
"How??" - the hero slurred as Villain got up and dragged them along to another room. The two managed to stumble their way into the criminal's bedroom, Hero landing on the bed with the villain right on top of them.
"Oh..." - they started, their hands wandering across their enemy's body seemingly on their own. "Alright." - they said, and Villain dragged them into a sloppy kiss.
Very quickly, both of them freed themself of their clothing, throwing it aside and letting it get lost in the endless sea of trash that was Villain's apartment. Their skin met and felt perfect against one another. Hands were roaming all over, memorizing each other's bodies, finding all the right spots to touch that drew sounds from them.
As their lips parted for air, they both groaned as their hips ground together, the friction rising pleasure in them. Hero wrapped their limbs around the villain's body, holding onto them as they slid into the hero.
Their mouths met again, moans becoming muffled, the sound of the bed creaking in rhythm with Villain's thrusts filled their ears. As their enemy hit the right spot, Hero's fingernails dug into their shoulders, their back arching into them as the other sped up.
It didn't take long for both their breathing to grow unsteady. Their thrusts and movements turning chaotic and sloppy as they neared their orgasms. The villain's name slipping past Hero's lips as their muscles clenched tight and flexed, Villain reaching their own finish in nearly perfect sync with them.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Days went by, then weeks, then months. Criminal activity has been on a clear rise, civilians growing fearful and demanding to know why the hero was letting it happen, demanding that they do something, but their 'hero' was long gone now.
All this time, Hero had been meeting up with Villain more and more. They thought it would just be a one-time thing, but it had evolved into so much more. At first, it was just once a week or two... Then once every couple of days... And now...?
Now the hero was glued to the other's hip; they saw them every day, getting waisted beyond belief, getting lost in careless pleasure. People were dying, but Hero didn't care. Villains were winning, but Hero didn't care. They couldn't bring themself to care anymore...
Villain, meanwhile, was doing a bit better than them. They were glad to have a solid distraction for once. It felt nice to have company, to have someone else they could be miserable and ruined with every day of their existence.
Still, outside of that, though, the villain didn't care much. If Hero got hurt, then they could deal with it on their own, and if they died...?
Well, then they died, and Villain would have to find a replacement.
Just like they always did...
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spookysmujer · 3 years
Text
Maraschino pt.2, O. Diaz
Summary: After the rejection from Oscar, things seems to take you on a roller coaster ride. 
warnings: angst, f e e l s, theTEAbeenSPILLED ☕️ daddy issues
word count: 3.5K
a/n: Here is the highly requested part 2 of Maraschino! I had fun writing this though if it is trash it’s because I wanted to hurry and get it out for y’all since I been getting msgs. heh. But Ray? Whew chile, the ghetto! Part 3? Please enjoy and don’t forget: follow the blog, heart/comment/reblog the content as well as turn on the notifs! (Y/S/N: your sister’s name)
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(gif belongs to @thesewickedhands​ ✨)
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 “Have a wonderful day!”
God, why is the person yelling? You smile weakly and squeeze your eyes nearly shut as the sun is blazing down on you while you say your thanks and exit the uber. The throbbing of your head and the loud lawnmower from one of your neighbors has you internally cursing.
How did you end up like this? Granted this was the plan last night to go out and have a good time, you certainly did not expect to be doing such a thing. You never let yourself get to this point before. But you also never got denied like you did with Spooky last night. A shiver goes through your body as you think of him. You won’t let him infiltrate your mind no more.
“Y/N!” Your sister’s voice sounds frantically as you round the corner of the house.
Well there goes your plan to sneak in through your window to pretend you were in your room all along. She wraps your arms around you, gluing herself to your body causing you to stumble back a bit. “You are a dead woman walking!” She whispers to you as you arch an eyebrow at her. 
As confused as you were, José appears from around the corner taking long strides towards you. His face sports no emotion of missing you but a lot of anger. It causes you to automatically back up the closer his approaches you. Your sister has since removed herself from you as your brother is now in your face.
You blink as you peer up at him, “Where the fuck have you been, hermana? You know how much shit you are in, hm? I get a call from Y/S/N saying you aren’t home. I assure her you would be and when she calls me at 6 in the morning telling me that you still aren’t in? You left a note?”
“José! Calmate, I went out with a friend. And I spent the night. What’s the big deal about that?” You briefly explain yourself. He laughs for a moment before grabbing you by your upper arm and pulling you towards your sister. Now it’s her turn to start backing up, “Ven aqui, her! That’s the big deal. When I ask you to be the sister you need to be, I don’t mean when you feel like it. You know the Santos have been getting into heavy shit lately. I need you here when I’m not!” 
The tension is thick as you pull your arm from his hold and push him, “But when you wanna go and do whatever it’s okay? When you wanna hitch a ride with Spooky to Sin City with dirty ass hynas last week, it’s all good. Business trip, huh? Don’t come for me when you are far from perfect!” 
The two of you are both very stubborn with your brother usually being calm and collected while you’re more expressive with your feelings. Family is important to him especially considering it’s just the three of you. Jose scoffs as you stomp away from him and your now crying sister. 
Oscar suddenly appears in front of you as round the corner and collides with his body. He reaches out to grasp you before you can stumble back, the feelings hitting you all at once, “What are you doing here?” You swallow thickly.
He licks his bottom lip as his eyes rake over your body. Still in your dress from last night, hair unruly and make-up smudged. Anyone can spot a ‘walk of shame’ when they see one. He laughs internally thinking of how you wasted no time after last night’s rejection.
“I offered to drive him when little hermanita called up again worried you weren’t home yet. Seems we know why now.” A small grin painted across his lips, you squint your eyebrows at his words as you hear your brother approaching the two of you. You step back before Spooky migrates his eyes to behind you, “We got business, everything good here?”
José nods and steps beside you, “Don’t be leaving.”
The two guys leave as you stand there a bit dumbfounded. Y/S/N appears next to you and grabs your hand. She apologizes for you getting into trouble with José. You want to yell at her for starting unnecessary drama. But she explains she didn’t want your brother to potentially find out about your little sneaky link with Spooky.
“Well, he and I ended that shit so nothing to worry about. I went out and got wasted. I am done with these guys. No más!” Though even sounding like fake news to yourself, you go and wash off last night’s memories. 
As the day had gone by, you skimmed through your daily journal of all the entries you wrote about Oscar ‘Spooky’ Diaz, ripping them out. All 6 pages. You roll your eyes at your thoughts about him, some sappy and some nasty. How did you believe a man who runs a street gang, that is as mean mugging as Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street, would be into you the way you are him?
It didn’t matter the answer now. Good riddance of him! That’s when the sound of your window opening pulls you from the wandering thoughts. You stand up quickly, reaching for a bat that’s besides your bed. “Get the fuck out!”
“Calmate! It’s me, Oscar.”
You clutch your chest, doubling over to catch your breath. “What is wrong with you? Ever think of flying a pebble at the window or calling first?” You say as he climbs in, adjusting his flannel before closing the window then your room door. You watch him as he starts to look around your room. Though there’s a part of you that wants him out, you haven’t made any advances to get him out.
He sits on your bed and finally looks at you, “Abajo.”
Uncompliant, you cross your arms and shift your weight to make it known you are fine standing there. He smirks and looks away before locking eyes with you. “You don’t think I like you too? You think I fucked with you for this long cause it was just convenient? Girls everywhere around my place but I was only fucking you. Why do you think that?”
“Is this supposed to be your sweet confession that makes me go all heart eyes? You're gonna apologize and I’m supposed to forgive you and then we give us a try and realize all our worries were nothing but fear that our anxiety instilled in our heads? Because that’s not how it’s gonna go.” You say as he gives you a semi-disgusted look.
You chuckle softly and watch him intently.
Oscar analyzes you closely. It’s a front, no doubt he thinks. He doesn’t deny the thought that you are a thick-skinned woman. He knows you have a superior mind and a mouth to go with it but he knows there is no way that you could’ve gotten over him that quick. Though judging by your appearance earlier in the day, you definitely tried.
You laugh a little more as you step in front of him and lean over to get your vision in line with his. “You made it clear to me and now I’m making it clear. Nothing you say will convince me that you give a rat’s ass about me. If you really did? There would be no sneaky link shit. You wouldn’t have a problem with people knowing about me, or my brother knowing but it is a problem so get out.”
This ticks Ocscar off a bit. He stands which makes you straighten up as he gets in your face, stepping towards you. You are stepping back slowly as he creeps more, “You think you can handle this lifestyle? The constant threats, the territories? You can’t. When it comes to this kind of life, something like love can be the bane of your existence. So we don’t get into it. We don’t get involved because the people we fall for end up dead.”
You’re pressed with your back against the wall and your chests against each other. Oscar’s eyebrows are connected and he’s staring at your agape mouth. His breath is fanning against your lips, emotions hitting you all at once. “I-I slept with someone last night. Got it good too.”
The jealous tactic seems to fail immediately as Oscar laughs. And for some reason the look of amusement on his face seems to be familiar for a reason you can’t seem to figure out.
“Sleeping around is simple, falling for someone is something else entirely. I’m not saying that we jump into something. But at least you know now it’s not just one-sided.” He steps out of your room. You follow and watch him walk down the hall as Y/S/N stands there. She is stunned seeing Oscar nonchalantly trek through the house.
You don’t know what to say. As you look at your little sister, you sigh in defeat trying to explain this one. Instead you go back into your room and shut your door. You got what you wanted, right? But you still feel like something is missing. 
The week had slowly crept on.
A few shifts at the bodega, classes at the community college and life at home. Jose had basically converted you back to your teenage ways. Making sure you were doing your part in parenting your little sister. Friday night Y/S/N wanted to have Dwayne’s BBQ for dinner and since your social life is drier than your skin, you agree. 
The thought of a  BBQ bacon cheeseburger lifts your mood which has been dragging throughout the week. Your sister happily skips into the restaurant as you trail behind slowly, when you enter you look for her and see she chatting up with Dwayne. 
“Y/N!” José calls out and your vision unfocuses from them onto your brother and pile of Santos in a booth. They all look your way including Oscar. You exhale a deep breath through your nose as you put on a fake smile and wave before stepping up to place an order. 
 Your brother approaches you as you look past him to the booth of Santos, “Didn’t know you guys would be here.” He sets down a $20 bill on the counter when the cashier tells you the total. “Foos gotta eat too.” José starts talking to you about something but your focus falls back on Spooky again. You watch as he stands and makes his way towards you. A small panic sets in your chest but fades away as he ends up exiting the BBQ joint. 
Unknowingly to yourself, your watch as he walks to his car. He leans against it and pulls out a cigarette, no matter how hard you try to avert your eyes from him, you can’t. All week you had been doing fine. Even with the little things reminding you of him, even with the memories that have been seeped into your bed. You didn’t dwell too much on thinking of him until you see him now. 
“Talk to him.” 
It’s just like the movies where the car tires come to a screeching halt and there’s the obnoxious crashing sound. You move your eyes to your brother’s. Did he just say what you think he said? “Talk to him? Spooky, what for? Why would I need to talk to him?”
Jose chuckles, “Hermana, I had my suspicions about you two. Then he told me bout it, he acts like it doesn’t bother him much but it does so go talk to him. Yeah, I’m not so thrilled that he’s messing around with my baby sister. I know how he is but I know he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you so I’m cool with it. So go talk to him, figure that shit out because I’m getting over you moping around the house.”
You push him away as you look back to the red impala.  After a moment of contemplating it, you decide to head out and approach Oscar, he had his eyes on you since he settled by his car. You lean on it besides him and cross your arms, “You told my brother?”
He smirks and shrugs his shoulders. You try your best to keep the smug look off your face. He holds out the cigarette, you take it and inhale. Coughing a bit as the smoke burns your throat a little. You hand it back and sigh, turning to look at him.
“I like you, you like me. I’m not saying we jump into something… but why not?” You question as he exhales some smoke, you lock your eyes into his, “You ain’t cut for this lifestyle, you would be a liability. Plus your brother in my line of work? That makes him vulnerable as well. It woul--”
You groan loudly which quiets him mid-rant, “Drugs, alcohol and money do all the same things to him too. You see how he is when he gets wasted. There are so many things that make you all vulnerable. If he can make it work with the hyna he’s with, then you can make it work with me. Plus I know this lifestyle more than you think. I know when and where to be and not to be. I know who to know and who not to know. I know things! So don’t act all big bad Spooky to me.”
Now standing directly in front of him and he’s peering down at you. He dips his face lowers and looks at your lips as you look at his. In no time your lips are connected. Oscar slides his hands over your waist, gripping it and pushing you flush against him. You bring your hands to cup his face, letting your tongue slip into his mouth. A full on make-out session breaks out.
As if you didn’t dream of something like this happening you smile into the kiss, pulling away, “You get into this with me, it’s not gonna be glitter and gold. This shit is tough, I can’t be worrying about the things I already do plus you.” You nod and kiss him again, wringing your arms around his neck, he hugs you and feels calm for the first time in a while.
So you enjoy the night more than you thought you would be. With your siblings and the Santos at Dwayne’s. After a night of chatting, Oscar asks you to come back to his place. And well since it isn’t your first rodeo, you agree and send Y/S/N home with José. 
You don’t keep your hands off him while heading back to his place, you are pressed against him and kissing his neck, he is loving every moment of it. The both of you get out to head into the house but the mood is killed when you walk in to find Cesar and his friends on the couch who get frightened due to the scary movie playing on the TV.
Oscar cursing under his breath, “Can’t you watch movies at some else’s house?” You elbow him as he rolls his eyes. But Cesar didn’t want to start anything with his older brother so he asks Jamal if they can continue watching at his house. Soon after the house is empty and quiet again. The two of you settle on the couch, you straddling him and pulling your top off.
“Yo! There’s someone posted up outside!” Cesar suddenly bursts through the door which causes Oscar to push you off him and reach for his gun. He tells the younger Diaz, his friends and you to stay put as he checks out the fool that runs up on the Santo trap house. You scramble to put your shirt back on and curse when Cesar trails after his brother. You follow in pursuit, trying to tell Cesar that Oscar said to stay inside. “Who is that?” 
“Ray?” You say out loud though you thought you were just thinking it.
Oscar turns to you when you say the name of none other than his estranged father. You look to both Ray and Oscar, looking at the two men and making the connection. You feel the color get sucked out of your face, oh fuck.
“You know him, who is he?” Cesar asks you and he looks at Oscar. The Santo leader has his eyes on you and is still confused as to how the hell you know his father. “He’s our father.” Oscar says, still looking at you.
The confirmation makes you want to be obliterated right in your very spot. This can’t be happening! Is it? You try to speak but nothing comes out of your mouth. You finally look to Ray who has a small smirk on his face and that’s why that look Oscar had on his face that day seemed so familiar. You saw it that night you went out of town to have a good time. 
“Hola de nuevo, pequeña coyote.” Ray says looking at you. 
You grimace as Oscar connects the dots himself. The amount of heat that settles into your face along with the gasps from Cesar’s friends don’t make it any easier to bear.
“Wait Oscar, wait!” He is stepping towards his father, ready to charge. “I didn’t know he was your dad! Listen to me, please!” You step forward quickly and pull his arm back, he yanks it out of your grasp quickly as you plead for him to listen to you.
Oscar begins to snap at you, “Him? This is who you slept with and you want me to listen to explain? Huh?!” The anger booms in his voice as he is mere inches from your face. Cesar appears next to you trying to get between the two of you. You didn’t think Oscar could ever get so mad. And you have seen the Santo leader in moments of rage before. 
“Mijo, listen..” 
Ray’s voice sounds from behind Oscar now. He turns and wastes no time in welcoming him with a right hook. His father stumbles back as you gasp along with the sounds from the teens. “Oscar!”
You take the initiative to stand between the two of them, holding out a hand against Oscar’s chest as he is heaving and exuding anger. Ray is mending to his jaw as he stands up. You notice the lights of the neighbor had turned on and people were beginning to pile outside of their homes to see all the commotion.
“Oscar just stop and listen to me for one fucking second! No, I did not sleep with Ray. We did get together that night, yes but we didn’t do anything that involves other body parts. I started going off about you with him, I vented and we spent the night drinking. I got too wasted and he offered to let me spend the night in his motel room. Nothing happened!” You release in one breath. 
Everyone looks at you, unable to make sense of the situation. 
“That’s why I came, when she mentioned things about you, I had to come see for myself if what niña said is true. That you’re running the Santos.” The two men stare at each other as you stand in the middle. Your heart is racing. 
Oscar doesn’t say anything as he looks back and forth between his father and you. When you step towards him and reach out to grab his hand, he raises his hand up in defense and steps back. You can see the glint of hurt in his eyes as he backs away from you. Your eyes pleading for him to try to understand everything.
You trail behind a fuming Oscar into his house, you are nearly jogging when you catch up with him. But he steps into his room and slams the door in your face. You step back and sigh. “Please talk to me…Oscar. Nothing happened, you have to believe me.” 
He doesn’t respond as you rest your head on his door. You hold your hands on the door silently cursing yourself. What could you say that made the situation sound better? How could you make it look like it really was nothing even with Ray right there?
A few moments have passed by when the door opens, a still very upset Oscar stands there as he flies forwards a bunch of crumbled paper at you. You watch as the papers fall to your feet and he slams the door in your face again. No context of nothing. 
When you pick up the papers, it’s drawings of you. Portraits sketched out from a ballpoint pen. Some dated as far back as a month ago to as recent as a few days ago. Oscar drew you. He did so multiple times and in such craft it takes your breath away. 
You feel the tears begin to well in your eyes. The pain that you have caused him. How do you fix this?
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peeterparkr · 3 years
Text
red; tom’s version|two.
chapter two: the lucky one. “You don’t feel pretty, you feel used”
pairing: Tom Holland x Reader story summary: you’re reminiscing through your relationship a month after the heartbreak and breakup. Wondering if it went wrong from the very start when Tom arrived at New York, and him being a cautionary tale or if the problems came along the way. Perhaps the key to find back your way to him is going back through the nice things before the heartbreak came. Or is it too painful to go all over again?
chapter summary: bottle caps, a red scarf and two coincidences that probably mean something warnings: angsty a bit, cussing, word count: 6.7k playlist (updated after each chapter, including Red songs+ other for the chapter): Spotify | Apple Music
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Present day. One month after the breakup.
Tom knew he had to stay quiet. Or rather, there was barely anything he could say while he was plotting his next words. He could barely believe he had a chance.
Walking down the streets with her quietly as he saw her, arranging her own thoughts. She had agreed to listen.
And he knew it was because whatever they’d felt, it made it worth it.
Y/N was angry. Not sad, angry. He had expected her to be crying. He didn’t want to be the reason why she would and he tried thinking he wasn’t. Though, deep inside, he was perfectly aware that he would be blamed for the tears that she’d shed in the last few months.
He wasn’t proud of that.
Guilt blinds. And Tom was blind in an attempt to shield. It was easier to shield on his own excuses that would serve barely as a plea to forgiveness.
Glares were directed at him. Her jaw was clenched and she had crossed her arms. The moment she’d realized what she’d agreed to, she’d turned stiff.
“Aren’t you cold?” Tom had tried asking.
“I don’t wish to speak to you.”
Fair.
And it was the middle of the night once again, how many times had they not walked under the stars with barely a destiny to reach. And now he was walking to his doom.
Y/N was mental.
In a good way. But the girl had taught him how insane you can be when it comes to relationships. In the best way possible, not as an insult.
Tom knew that he had fucked up. And he had been in New York for a while, though he hadn’t spoken to her directly, knowing that approaching her would only wound her.
It was colder now, Christmas was barely around the corner. In any other circumstance, it would’ve added to the romance.
Here it was just a bad omen of whatever would come next. The lights flickered as soon as they were walking past them.
“Are—are we not going to talk?” Tom questioned anyway. “I thought—“
Y/N shrugged. “I’m still deciding it, you see, I don’t know if I want to listen to you break my heart in an attempt of forged honesty.”
Tom dug his hands in his pockets. “I genuinely want to apologize.”
“And I genuinely don’t like you,” she snapped. “You see my problem?”
Tom sighed. “Fine,” he gulped. “But you are cold, that thing isn’t covering your neck or chest.”
Y/N had gone for a rather inadequate option for a cold winter day. Though Tom would agree that the black dress had been yet another punch to his stomach, all of course with an attempt to make him regret it, it was still rather unsuitable for the freezing city. But she looked stunning.
Her coat barely covered her, and her crossed arms were probably more of an attempt to warm herself and it served as a clear exposition of her anger.
She didn’t answer, however.
“You could wear this,” Tom offered, showing her the red scarf that once belonged to her. Tom liked to think that it now belonged to them.
The red scarf that had become a token to their relationship. From the very first day.
Y/N looked at it, and reluctantly took it. “It’s only because I’m cold.”
But Tom wanted to think it wasn’t only because of that. Wearing the scarf meant she was opening a door for him.
Seeing her again had been quite different from what Tom had expected, her hair was different and her makeup too. Her gaze seemed lost.
Whoever was standing beside him didn’t seem like her. She was a stranger, a very familiar one. But there wasn’t that visible spark that he’d fallen for. Not that he wouldn’t be able to love the figure in front of him but he feared he was the reason for its disappearance.
“It smells like you,” y/n whispered as she wrapped the scarf around her neck.
Tom smiled, briefly. “I’ve been wearing it. Your own smell wore out,” he regretted saying that. “That sounded way too creepy or cheesy.”
“Both, somehow,” she agreed. “Don’t ever say that kind of shit again.”
Tom gulped a chuckle, “noted.”
There was still that y/n in there, the one that liked the kind of cheesy things that he could say. The ones that came up at the right moment. Though, there was still that y/n that didn’t take any bullshit.
Tom hadn’t gone exactly through diamonds and sparkles after the breakup. And the city was now quite different from when it had first received him. Now covered with dark smoke and trash, with only skeletons of trees.
Guilt drowns. And Tom was, undoubtedly, drowning in a drought. Everything had dried off yet he felt like he could barely breathe.
Knowing you’re the reason for someone’s hurt is no fantasy.
And he was broken, too. Very, very broken. However, he knew he was seen as the bad guy here and he wouldn’t call himself less, and he wouldn’t admit he was aching too.
So he was trying to ignore it.
Her apartment building hadn’t changed. Not that Tom had expected it to, but it was nice to come to a familiar place. He noticed the stairs were still rusty and unclean and creaked as he walked in. New creaks had come in that he hadn’t memorized yet. He hoped he would have the chance to.
Y/N stopped at her door, with more questions than answers to give him.
“I really don’t know if I can do this,” she admitted to him. “But I know that if I don’t give you a chance to explain yourself I’ll never forgive myself.”
“That’s fair. But…I’ll do whatever you want me to, but please let me explain it to you,” he begged. “I—If you want me to leave New York and never come again I’ll understand.”
Y/N crossed her arms and leaned against the door, a red door that would open to memories he couldn’t quite forget.
“I already said I would listen,” she recalled. “But—“ her eyes met his, they looked tired. “I am having an inner monologue on why this is stupid.”
“Care to share?”
She took a heavy breath, “Well, you see, Tom, if that even is your real name…”
“Really? You’re—“Tom tried hard not to roll his eyes. “Yes, my name is Tom.”
“Tom….”
“Holland.”
“Hm, interesting. Holland, I remembered it being something else. You’re a liar, just making sure,” she said. “I’m—I just feel stupid. Because I shouldn’t be feeling this way for such a short relationship, is that even—was it? Can we even call it that?”
Her words felt bitter to Tom’s own tongue. He understood why she was defensive. “Yes.”
“Well, I don’t fucking know, maybe we confused whatever we were feeling with love, or—“
“I didn’t—“
“Could be easy, Tommy, you’re an actor, actors, as far as I know, act, and man did you play such an amazing role,” she snarled as she opened her door, leading the way. “Be quiet, by the way, I don’t want to wake up Lula or Jules.”
Tom walked in into what seemed a messed snapshot of how he remembered the place. It was the same, in essence. But sadder. The apartment still had a few sweaters here and there, and y/N’s notebooks all over it.
He could see Lula’s leftovers in their coffee table and some candy wraps that Julia had probably been eating while reading her book.
He turned to that one corner and saw it, the jukebox that had been what had defined y/n’s and his relationship. He dug his hand into his pocket to search for the locket y/n had given back. Tom squeezed it as he searched in his pocket for something else.
Guilt kills. And Tom was dying.
“Here,” Tom said as he reached out for three beer caps in his pocket, “I brought these to you,” he offered them to her, knowing there were jars full of them.
Y/N collected them. Or rather, it was her latest collection that she’d later use for her art. Or whatever she was into at the moment.
The apartment was small. It had two bedrooms which they all shared. They’d rotate whoever had the luck to have the single room. So small. And yet it felt so big.
Y/n pursed her lips but then took the beer caps and placed them on the counter.
“We’re going to the roof,” y/n said. “I’m just getting us some wine—No,” she shook her head, probably realizing that having wine would make the moment a tad more romantic or cuddly than she expected it to be. “Make yourself useful and make some tea, I’ll go change myself, I’m freezing.”
She’d brought blankets and a hoodie he hadn’t remembered he had left. They didn’t have to go to the roof, Julia was staying with Matt and Lula was not back yet from wherever she was.
She had stayed quiet, for a bit. Cuddled up in the same couch where they—
“Do you like your tea?” Questioned Tom.
She looked up. “Yeah, you can add that to your many talents. Right before lying.”
“I make better tea than lies? Good to know.”
Y/N shrugged. “How long have you been here?”
“A… few days,” Tom admitted. “I have been trying to walk up to your door but I keep getting lost in the subway, and when I did come here I panicked and cried.”
Y/N shrugged. “I thought I saw you, the other day,” she said.
“Oh?”
“It wasn’t you,” y/n confessed. “So I just yelled at a poor stranger. I—I genuinely feel sorry for him.”
Tom tried not to chuckle. “What did you yell?”
“I called him a bastard and asked what was wrong with him,” she scrunched her nose. “Not my proudest moment. I was kicked out of the bus.”
Tom gulped. “I’m sorry,” he took a deep breath. “You can yell at me if that helps.”
She shrugged. “No, I think I’m good, I let it all out with him,” she grimaced. “But I might just—“she picked up a pillow and threw it at him with barely any energy.
“Fair enough,” he nodded. “But I can be your punching bag, I deserve it,” he admired. “I see the jukebox,” Tom said, motioning to it.
She shrugged. “Yeah, would be stupid if you didn’t. It’s quite big. Barely any space left.”
Tom chuckled. “I meant—“
“No, no, I know what you mean. I’m trying to ignore it,” y/n admitted. “I notice it too, every day. Almost threw it away.”
Tom nodded. “Why didn’t you?”
“Well, it’s a very functional jukebox, the music on it,” she said. “It would be stupid to throw out something like that.”
Tom had expected a different answer, one rather more romantic. Like, that maybe throwing it out would’ve meant throwing him away.
“Right. I’m surprised the cops haven’t come for it.”
She smiled.
She… smiled?
She smiled.
Tom hadn’t thought he would see it again. So comforting. And genuine. Not forced.
“It’s not stolen,” she reminded him, “not really.”
Tom decided to smile back, but to himself. He couldn’t really look her in the eye.
“I guess I also kept it for the same reason why you kept that stupid scarf,” y/n added. Quieter now.
Tom took a deep breath. “It’s a fashionable accessory.”
Y/n rolled her eyes. “It’s been out of fashion for 10 years.”
“Trends come back.”
Y/N looked up. “Not when they're horrible, no,” she said with a heavy breath. “I don’t—“She shook her head. “No, we can’t do this.”
“Do what?” Tom questioned.
“Talk like you didn’t break my heart,” she snarked, gulping down her thoughts. “I always knew your heart never truly belonged to me, you know?” y/n said, holding to her mug. The tea was probably cold now. As so were they.
Tom was taken aback by that statement. “I—at the beginning—“
“No, it never truly did. Not completely.”
“I—“ but Tom didn’t have an answer to it.
The night was cold and New York was still awake. But it felt like it was them and only them even if they felt like oceans apart. He hated it. The first time he’d ever been truly lucky he had run out of luck.
Y/N watched him. “I always knew it was meant to be for a short time and I didn’t need anything more, I somehow knew that you’d hurt me,” she explained.
Tom had never meant to go this far. “I never meant—“
“Imagine if you had meant it though, how crushed would I have been. It wasn’t your intention, and yet I ended up crying on the floor,” she said, ironically
Tom couldn’t say more but an “I am so sorry.”
“I know you are,” she said. “I hope you are.”
Tom stared at her, “I am.”
Y/N directed him a single glance. “I don’t think you understand, Tom. This month has been the shittiest in my life.”
Tom didn’t have enough words to apologize. Or he had too many to say. Instead, he could word out anything.
“The worst part is that you also gave me the best fucking days of my life,” she continued. “So I’m at a crossroads here. Because there’s a part of me that thinks it was all bullshit and there’s also the part that knows it couldn’t be.”
Tom watched her. “It was not bullshit,” he said. “It was real.”
“That’s the worst part,” she pointed out. “I think, yeah, all of it being real then it makes it hurt even more because that means I lost the best thing to ever happen to me and you lost something so real.”
Tom nodded. “I lost the best thing to ever happen to me, too.”
Y/N was, without a doubt, the best thing he’d never looked for.
“Did you lose it because of me? Or did you lose me?” She quickly questioned, raising her brows.
Y/N was also a murderer.
“Well,” she took a deep breath, ignoring his sight as he was trying to know how to Answer. “You better start explaining yourself.”
“Before I—I… I… Right, well—Before I came here—I—Ella—“
She closed her eyes. “Actually, no.”
Tom paused, in fear.
“Here’s what we’re going to do, we will….” Y/N tried arranging her thoughts. “Tell me from the moment you hopped on the plane.”
Tom stayed quiet.
“I need to know how it looked from the moment you arrived, not… before, although I’m risking the fact you’re an unreliable narrator.”
“I am a terrible narrator,” he admitted.
Two months before the breakup. Tom’s version.
Tom remembered how little it had taken him to make the decision to escape. He had decided to escape from what everyone told him he should love.
With a backpack, his passport and a half ass made suitcase, he had hopped on the first flight to New York. No regrets as it had taken off. Sweet Escape airlines had been so kind to him.
Not telling anyone about it. To their eyes, he probably was only late to a party, and they’d see him in a few minutes with an excuse of an apology.
Yet, he was on a plane. Escaping from the perfect life.
They always said how lucky he was. Didn’t they? How incredible it was to have what he had. Because he had everything.
And he was running away from it. He watched the people on the plane, his seat was unflattering, next to an old lady who seemed to be rather impolite.
He remembered when he had made the decision to run out, the night before, a camera flash had blinded him and time had suddenly stopped. Just a few hours before hopping on the plane. Everyone expected him to do something he was not ready for. Everyone thought it would come.
Even Eleanor.
Especially Eleanor. Ella was probably counting only the minutes for his arrival. He had promised her he would be there.
No one could ever judge Tom for the decision he had made. Well, everyone would. But Tom liked to believe they couldn’t. As a technicality, that is. That they had absolutely no right to do it.
His parents wouldn’t be proud of it. Too bad.
Tom was nervous, though. The decision had been, undoubtedly, rushed. He hadn’t shown up to that early brunch.
Still wearing a suit, with a white buttoned shirt unbuttoned on his neck. He had still almost gone to that brunch in that FancyAss restaurante.
A brunch? He thought to himself. How incredibly out of character it seemed, he had become a caricature of whatever they wanted him to be.
Did he have to apologize to Eleanor? He didn’t want to.
He really didn’t want to.
He looked at his phone, Harry was calling him. A few other texts from his mother, too. Two missed calls from Ella. Probably wondering why he was late. He hoped they didn’t wait for him, for he would never arrive.
New York was a bit far from it.
The whole flight had been him trying to figure out if it was a good choice.
But he was given an ultimatum, and when those come you have to decide.
His decision was to go to New York. And it was the best choice.
It was, of course, but it was alright to doubt it. It was not likely of him to simply run away.
He didn’t have it all figured out. And that’s why he was clutching his backpack. He was chasing a dream that he didn’t even know he had.
Maybe that’s why he was running away. He didn’t know who he was. But of course he had heard it, how he looked like a million bucks. And he had said it to everyone else the night before, how the stars looked like diamonds in the skies.
He was making a name for himself, he knew that. Or rather, they were making a name for him. And he didn’t know who he was.
The flight was rather short, or maybe Tom barely had any time to think about it.
Running away from his own country, from his family, friends and from Ella, whom he barely had a title for right now.
The city was quick to receive him with bustling crowds, people pushing and rushing. But also opening up as he was walking in. Dancing around him.
How magical. He thought to himself as he tried texting Harrison, hoping his best friend wouldn’t mind receiving him at his place.
Tom managed to get a taxi that was waiting right outside the airport.
He hopped in and grinned to himself proudly. He was there.
With a new city ahead of him and no one expecting anything from him. With no one telling him what to do, with no one giving him an ultimatum and no one with orders for him.
“Where to?” Asked the taxi driver, as he stared from the mirror.
Tom, though he was not proud of it, was having a moment. “I’m running away from my life,” Tom explained. “don’t you ever get tired of the role you’re supposed to play? Like you were not meant to play it but now you’re too stuck in it.”
“Man, I'm sorry, I ain’t got no time for that kind of poeticbullshit, I need an address.”
The moment ended quickly. “Right. Sorry. I’m an idiot… uh, it’s this one.” Tom had to look up for Haz’s address.
“Every time,” the driver sighed, chuckling. “Why do y’all think New York is some sort of magical city that will give you the answer to whatever you’re going through.”
Tom’s smile widened sarcastically, “Well, isn’t it?”
“Guess it is, in a way, but I’ll tell you something,” the driver stated, “whatever you think New York will give to you, it'll be the very opposite. It won’t be what you want but it might just be what you need.”
“Oh really?” Tom chuckled, “who’s the one with the poetic crap now?”
“No, I’m messing with you, damn all you tourists believe that kind of thing huh? New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of huh.”
“It’s what we’re sold,” Tom gave in.
“That sounds pretty, don’t it? To not get what you want but what you need.”
“It does.”
In a way, he was right. Tom would’ve thought he needed a break. To escape. That’s what he wanted right?
But what did he need?
The city welcomed him with a short rain, the water reflected the twinkling lights, as the shadows were reflecting the life he had left behind. The people rushed with their coats, as they were off to their lives. And it felt like he was finally breathing.
Although he would not share his thoughts with the driver again, Tom thought this was what he needed. A new start with no one that would judge him.
That’s probably why he’d chosen New York, the people are too busy living their own crazy lives to focus on someone so insignificant like him. He didn’t have to be whoever he was before, the pretty face, the cool guy everyone liked.
No, he was a guy in a stupid cab, and not to be worried if they said he hadn’t chosen a better ride, on a bigger car.
No, no announcement of whatever he was going to do on the papers because his dad had arranged it.
No, now he was but what he always wanted to be. One of those cautionary tales that they tell about people who go mad and escape and live.
He was a legend now.
Maybe they were right, he was lucky. He was lucky because he had finally made it out of there.
And he saw the lights, with Broadway shows waiting for him, with new adventures coming. With a new life that he wanted to create. The Broadway signs changed to Tom’s sight.
‘A very new life for the Lucky One.’ Starring Tom Holland.
A new beginning.
Maybe he was lucky. Though he never wanted to be in the spotlight. He constantly was, though.
Except, of course, for the fact that Haz hadn’t really answered his text the way he wanted to.
Haz probably didn’t believe Tom that he was in the city.
He would just knock at the door then.
“Well man, I hope whatever kind of role you want you get it,” the driver had said as Tom had hopped off.
Harrison’s building was far from fancy. Harrison had often described it as an ‘affordable pigsty’. Tom wouldn’t describe it as anything else.
But it was perfect. The perfect stage for his new charade.
Tom carried the now heavier backpack and suitcase up and was lucky enough that someone had entered the building so he could go up and show up uninvited to Haz’s apartment. If he could call it that.
He knocked, two times and Haz opened the door.
“Piss off, you’re not actually here!” Was the way Haz had decided to greet.
Tom laughed. “I fucking am.”
“You bastard,” Haz grinned before pulling his friend into a hug. “No way, I didn’t believe you. Man, I’m so glad to see you!”
“You too, man your place is…” Tom couldn’t finish.
“A pigsty but it’s home, I’ll make some place.”
And they had.
Haz had left a few years ago, with a dream in his head and a chance to make it. Or… a chance to get a chance to make it.
Leaving London had been quite such a simple decision for him. An inspiring actor that could’ve made it back at home but decided to leave for New York? It was stupid, honestly. Very anticlimactic of him.
But like Tom, Harrison had to escape before he was pulled in.
Just like Tom had been, tangled up. Tom’s ‘big break’ had yet to come but his family had managed to get him to the rising star he was.
He loved what he did, acting was definitely his true passion but not like this. Not buying his way into parts, not going out with someone so he could be considered. Hanging around with the right people just so they could get him a role.
Haz had gone for plays instead, and Tom knew he was fantastic. But he also had to get his big break. The industry had a funny way to say this.
“So, you just left?” Haz asked with a beer in his hand as he’d taken Tom to his favorite bar. Beers were cheaper there, and given that it was a Thursday, the happy hour lasted longer.
The bar was different from what Tom had expected. An old jukebox that was playing odd songs, colorful things. Very odd.
“I bloody just left,” Tom admitted. “What was I supposed to do?”
Harrison rubbed his face, “I dunno.”
“I couldn’t keep pretending,” Tom said, as he played with the bottle. “I—It wasn’t me.”
“But didn’t you just get cast in—something important?” He questioned.
Tom sighed, “Not for talent, no.”
He had seen a girl walk up to the jukebox and pay again to play “Twist and Shout” by The Beatles, she moved her head along to the song.
“Man, who bloody cares?” Haz rolled his eyes bringing the attention back to him. “You’re getting somewhere! You look pretty, you’re cool, and you’re getting somewhere.”
Tom knew where Haz was coming from. Things were going perfectly, one could argue. But it didn’t feel real. It was just a game of make believe where Tom had eventually been dug in.
“It wasn’t that,” Tom admitted. “Ella gave me an ultimatum.”
Harrison stopped, probably now understanding more why he had left. “And how do you feel about that?”
Tom stared at his beer. “Not how I’m supposed to.”
Harrison watched him. “One can only pretend for so long.”
“Yeah,” Tom sighed as he undressed the beer bottle.
“Does anyone know you escaped?” Haz asked.
Tom grimaced, pulling out his phone, turned off. “No, well, Harry knows, I told him I had left but didn’t tell him where to,” he said before unwillingly turning it back on, to show the billion notifications popping up. Multiple text messages, missed calls. “I need a new phone so I can keep this one turned off.”
“I think you should tell someone, otherwise they’re going to call the police or something,” Haz suggested.
Tom sighed, “Before I do let me go get another round,” he said as he headed to the bar.
Though Tom should’ve known right then and there that his life would change, he was very oblivious as he saw a couple. The beautiful girl sitting right beside… some guy. The very same girl who had played ‘Twist and Shout’.
She wasn’t smiling anymore, and Tom could only interpret her stare as something unpleasant. The guy and her were both stiff.
Tom couldn’t blame the guy because he was often criticized for also being like him. Not being able to make the beautiful girl beside him smile. Not understanding her worth and brilliance as anyone else in the room did.
She had dressed up, it seemed, just for her very date and he was just… there. The guy was simply an unuseful accessory adorning her side. His eyes were glued to the TV on the bar, a program that seemed to be very uneventful.
Tom often liked overhearing conversations, and this time wasn’t an exception.
“I recently discovered my new collection,” the girl said. Tom noticed the scarf on her neck,“I will start collecting bottle caps.”
The guy looked over, “Is it going to be for your new project that you’ll never finish?”
“I will finish it,” she said as she took off the scarf, now playing with it, tying and untying it. “And I’m going to ask Ben here to save me as many as he can.”
“Y/N,” the guy said. Pretty name, thought Tom. Fitting. “You never finish them.”
“Art is never finished, William,” the girl, y/n, defended again. “It’s only… abandoned.”
“My point,” The guy, William, rolled her eyes, “You never get through with them.”
“I do,” she defended herself. “You just never pay attention to it.”
Tom watched her frustration. Even then the guy wasn’t really into the conversation. He didn’t blame him, really. But he was more on y/n’s side.
“I think you should pay attention to more important stuff. Instead of wasting your time doing whatever.”
“Art isn't whatever,” she sighed, and then frowned, noticing Tom was watching them.
“I’m not saying it’s whatever, y/n, but you’ve got to have other dreams rather than collecting beer caps.”
Y/N looked away, “It’s for a painting.”
“A painting you’ll get bored of eventually, it’s always the same, y/n,” the guy was still too busy with his own beer watching the TV.
Y/N clenched her jaw but then directed her glance at Tom, still intrigued by the conversation.
Tom cleared his throat as he finally got his beers, the guy opened them for him but Tom asked for the beer caps.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help but listen,” Tom admitted before giving her the beer caps. “Good luck on your project.” The girl finally smiled as the guy accompanying her glared at him.
Tom shrugged and dedicated them both a smile before going back to Harrison. Had Tom been William he would’ve appreciated that someone made his girl smile, it was a waste not to share her smile with the world.
And Tom, out of everyone, understood what the girl had said, people bringing him down were always for him so to have genuine support from a stranger would help her. And him.
Yes never getting anything done but still having a passion for it was accomplishment enough.
“So what’s your plan?” Haz asked as soon as he was back. Tom watched the girl, still.
“I have none,” Tom admitted, watching as y/n and William were still arguing, probably now over the fact that Tom had left the beer caps. He didn’t feel guilty, even when both of them were pointing at him as the argument kept going. “I will just—Get a break for a few days. A well deserved vacation.”
Haz watched him. “Right.”
“You know, be a tourist,” Tom shrugged. “I—I dunno I just needed to get out,” Tom sipped from his bottle as his eyes were glued to the couple, now arguing loudly but not loud enough to be understood.
Haz followed his gaze. “What are you looking at?”
“Dunno, they’re odd,” Tom shrugged. But they weren’t really. He just saw his future, so uninterested to the girl beside him.
“Not really, you should get used to that,” Haz said. “But—You’re going to tell Harry, right!”
“Problem is,” Tom brought back the attention to Haz. “I don’t think Harry will be able to keep the secret.”
Harrison crossed his arms. “What are you really doing here Tom? You do realize that you’re hurting everyone—“
“Yeah, yeah fuck that, I know, I feel guilty. But—I can’t anymore. I couldn’t fucking stay there, not anymore,” Tom snapped. “It’s not Ella’s fault. Well not entirely but—“
“No, I know,” Haz rolled his eyes, “guess the perfect life can get boring.”
Harrison thought so too then. That Tom had the perfect life. How was it perfect? How was it really? Tom was not perfect. He was far from it, nothing about it was spectacular. He wasn’t living. Even though everyone around him thought he was having the time of his life Tom couldn’t help but feel miserable.
He wasn’t getting what he truly wanted. He didn’t enjoy the roles he was getting or the parties he was attending. He was far from what his dream was. And though his ‘breakout’ would come eventually and he’d have the chance to be who he wanted to be, it wasn’t coming any time soon and he doubted that he’d be able to be happy.
Or maybe he would be. He needed a break.
Tom caught up with Haz, his life, his misery and whatever the conversation led to, it’s fair to say that Tom’s head could barely pay any attention. His decision was sinking. He’d escaped his life.
He saw the girl from before leave, with the guy following her with frustration.
“They’re gonna break up,” Haz said watching them too.
Tom saw the girl had left the unfashionable red scarf behind.
He expected them to come back for them but they didn’t.
Eventually, Tom and Haz left. Tom picked up the scarf. He tried to say that it was a little reminder that he’d helped someone. He had actually been drawn to it. He couldn’t explain why. So he kept that idea.
Of course, he’d seen the red scarf and then regretted instantly taking it. Haz had judged him too.
“Why the fuck would you pick up a stranger’s scarf?”
“Because.”
The next day, with very little sleep and a bit of a headache from the jet lag and the beers, and after telling Haz he’d be productive, he decided he wouldn’t be and instead he wanted to visit a museum. Again, he was unsure as to why he wanted to go there. Lately he only followed his instinct.
But then again he had escaped so he could do whatever he wanted, and going to a museum seemed like something they’d never expect him to do. So that’s what he did.
But of course, he didn’t know much about art or anything so he decided he’d end up at the MET. Where else would he start?
He had planned getting on the subway but he decided he didn’t have time to memorize it and he didn’t want to look like an idiot so instead he took another cab. He didn’t tell the drivers this time any poetic bullshit.
When he got to the MET, he was immediately lost. Tom had this stupid habit of never knowing where the hell he was.
He didn’t mind this time. He would take the time to explore, to think to himself. To stare and read and to learn a little.
How ironic it seemed to be at the place where so many people were at. Basic, maybe but he was still enjoying it.
The big walls and endless exhibitions were making him feel small. And he hadn’t felt that way in a while. He liked that.
His path wasn’t being decided and he only followed his heart. He got to the musical instruments exhibitions.
A piano made him stop. It resonated with him. In some sorts, or it was interesting enough for him to make him stop.
“That’s the oldest surviving piano,” a voice mentioned from behind.
Tom blinked, realizing he had stared too long at it. “Oh?” He looked back at the voice and though Tom did not believe in coincidences he couldn’t help but think this was an oddly magical one.
The beer cap girl from the night before.
“Yeah, it dates back to 1538 and was created by—pardon my pronunciation—Bartolomeo Cristofori, the Italian man who is credited with inventing the piano,” she said, staring at it too. Her hair was slightly messed up. Wearing an overall that was covered with slight paint stains, a white cardigan over it.
“Oh, I would’ve never thought that,” Tom said. “It looks old.”
“Yeah,” she hadn’t looked at him, she was too entranced by it, her arms were crossed. “It's very old.”
Tom stared at her instead, how weird it was. He should’ve brought the scarf. No, that would’ve been weird, weirder than taking it.
“So you work here?” Tom questioned.
“No, I’m just incredibly good at lying,” she stated.
“Wha-what?”
“That fact I gave you, yeah that was a lie,” she grinned and finally turned to him. She tilted her head.
“Oh it sounded… very real,” Tom felt like an idiot.
“Yeah, I’ve worked on that for a while, lying to tourists, you’re my first one of the day,” she said. “So, a pleasure lying to someone with an accent.”
“It sounded very real,” Tom cleared his throat.
“I know, it’s a real fact, just slightly twisted,” she grinned. “I gave you the date wrong.”
Tom coughed. “Oh.”
“Yeah, and you straight up believed me,” she grinned. “The date is right there yet you listened to a random weirdo,” she grinned.
Tom blushed, “well, you sounded very—“
“No, don’t feel bad, it’s an art, lying to people,” she grinned.
He nodded in agreement.
She watched him curiously, “Do I know you?”
Tom faked to not recognize her. “I don’t think so.”
She narrowed her eyes, examining him head to toe. Then stopping at his face. “No, wait, were you at Bennie’s Beer Garden last night?”
She had recognized him.
“Uh—I was at a bar,” he decided to fake ignorance. “Oh—“he snapped his finger. “Wait are you—?”
“Beer cap girl, yeah,” she smiled. “Yeah, that was me, but I looked better last night.”
Tom smiled, “No, you look fine.”
“What a coincidence, thanks for the beer caps, by the way,” she chuckled. “How weird, and now you’re the first one I lie to.”
“It’s a pleasure, thank you,” Tom laughed.
“You must think I’m crazy, collecting beer caps and lying to strangers,” she blushed now, stepping back from him.
Tom did think that. In a good way. The girl seemed to be whatever he wanted to be: a fucking weirdo that don’t give two shits about anything in life.
“Surprisingly, no,” Tom shook his head. “I would lie to people instead if I was good at lying.”
Ironic, it seemed. Didn’t he make a living out of lying? Didn’t he technically lie his way through life?
“Yes, it's very tiring work, people say they don’t like being lied to,” she said. “I do, that’s why I love reading whatever is trending on twitter.”
Tom cackled, and turned his attention back to the piano.
“I’m y/n, by the way,” she mentioned casually.
“Tom,” he answered simply.
Y/N nodded. “So, Tom, what's your favorite lie supplier?”
“I watch movies,” he said, “or celebrity gossip.”
“A classic,” Y/N grinned. “Yeah, we all choose the lies we want to believe, I guess.”
“People like that, believing lies and feeling like they’re true,” Tom gave in. “Especially if they’re pretty. They help us escape reality.”
Y/N nodded slowly, and smirked. “We are getting deep now, huh?”
What the fuck did New York do to Tom that he randomly said poetic bullshit to strangers. He was embarrassed. “I—sorry.”
“No, no, I like that,” y/n was excited. “I guess you’re right. Lies are a way to cover something.”
“Yes, sometimes lying means protecting,” Tom bit his lip.
Y/N tilted her head. “Is it really?” She didn’t want to agree. “I would say lying is a way to actively hurt someone.”
“Well, were you trying to hurt me with your lie?” Tom challenged.
She licked her lips, defeated. “In a way,” she gave in. “I was trying to misinform you. So.”
“Well, what if the truth hurts more?” Tom questioned.
Y/N took a deep breath. “Then it’s a paradox.”
“Excuse me,” Someone interrupted them. “I’m sorry, y/n? I thought you weren’t coming today.”
Y/N smiled, “oh yeah, I wasn’t, I just forgot something in my locker and decided to walk around.”
The other guy turned to Tom. “Did she give you a fake fact?”
Tom chuckled, “she most certainly did.”
“Y/N, you can’t keep doing that,” the guy warned her. “You’re gonna get fired.”
Y/N grinned as she watched the guy go.
“I thought you didn’t work here,” Tom chuckled.
Y/N smiled mischievously, “I do, just another lie I said to you. You’re very lucky, two lies in one.”
Tom chuckled. “huh. Yeah, lucky me.”
“Yes, now if you’ll excuse me, little British man,” she grinned. “I’ll go lie to other people, nice lying to you.”
Tom grinned. “Yeah, yeah, nice… believing your lies.”
“Enjoy the Met,” she grinned. “Hope I get to see you again, thanks for the beer caps.”
“Thanks for the… lies,” he said, watching her leave. Maybe he was lucky.
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repurpose-yourself · 2 years
Text
Condom Confusion
"What do you mean this condom is living?" DeAndre asked.
Trace smiled and held up his phone, "Watch."
Over the course a minute DeAndre watched what appeared to be a bad science fiction film. A woman sitting on a couch, Trace's couch, suddenly doubled over in pain and fell to the floor. Quickly the person's body seemingly began to melt, collecting on the floor before reforming into a condom - the very condom DeAndre was holding. The whole process looked immensely agonizing.
DeAndre looked at Trace, still a little skeptical, "Come on man, stop fucking with me. How do I know that's not fake?"
Trace shrugged, "You don't. But that woman was someone my parents set me up with. They struggle to accept I am gay."
DeAndre looked at the condom, then back to his friend, "Yeah, and I am sure they wouldn’t have a problem with me plowing that ass."
Trace bit his lip and pulled DeAndre close, "Can you back that up, stud? If so, I'll be in my bedroom... waiting."
DeAndre watched Trace turn and walk into the bedroom, slowly closing the door. He looked at the condom again and shook his head.
Tossing it onto the floor, he started to strip down revealing a toned body and rock hard shaft. He looked in the mirror a few times, admiring the shape of his muscles and the smooth nature of his skin. Hard work and a proper diet took all the credit.
Turning to walk out of the bathroom, he felt something crinkle under his barefoot. DeAndre slid his foot to the side and bent down, retrieving the condom. Quickly he ripped the top open revealing a lubed up, clear condom. Dumping it onto the palm of his hand, DeAndre was fast in covering his endowment. He strolled out of the bathroom, into Trace's bedroom.
"That didn't take long. I hope you're not that quick..." Trace started before DeAndre chimed in.
"Face down and shut up," he said in a commanding, deep voice "Let's see that ass."
DeAndre's member swung side to side as he positioned himself over Trace. Licking his lips, he guided himself in and went to work on the man's backside, never giving Trace a chance to ease in and allowing his most primitive instincts to take over.
Trace gasped, grabbing the bed as DeAndre pounded the tight ass. As the large man worked, delivering unique pleasure to both guys, his mind kept going back to the video from before. Was the condom wrapped around his throbbing endowment really living and formally a woman? There was no way to know for sure, even if DeAndre witnessed the video. It could have been fake.
But, the condom could be alive, too.
Trying to focus on the situation at hand, DeAndre shoved his pulsing shaft deeper into Trace. The bottom cried out in slight pain, knowing that antagonizing the top may have not been the right call.
Half an hour later finally brought a climax both were hoping for but for different reasons. DeAndre shot a healthy load after immense pleasure. Trace had gotten off twice - too early, leaving the man to soldier on through DeAndre's advances.
The top staggered to his feet, "Too fast for you?"
Trace smiled and flipped DeAndre off, "I'm going to hurt in the morning."
DeAndre nodded, "Lesson learned then, huh?"
Trace threw a pillow at the top, "Get cleaned up."
DeAndre walked out of the bedroom laughing. He turned into the bathroom and faced the mirror. His body was covered with sweat and the condom was hanging slightly down with his hard work condensed at the tip. DeAndre carefully pulled the rubber off and tied the end. He stepped over his clothes on the floor towards a small trash bin.
DeAndre held the condom before his eyes for a moment, "Hmmmm. No... Can it? Well... Maybe, I guess... If true, it was the first time I was ever with a woman then."
Opening the lid, DeAndre released the used condom. It dropped to the bottom of the trash bin, rolling over a toilet paper tube before stopping on the side. As the lid began to close, the condom looked back, internally screaming as darkness consumed it...
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Author's Note: Hi that isn't my GIF. But this is my fic and I would really appreciate it if you told me how you thought it was, and if you especially like it, my requests are open friends. :3 I have the spicy sad right now, and needed a little angst with a happy ending. Ok, be fed I guess.
This has 3,000+ words, are you proud of me or what!?
From the prompt: As teenagers, a boy and a girl agree to marry if neither have by their 35th birthday. Follow the boy as he attempts to sabotage every relationship the girl has until then.
"Hey Tommy? I was thinking."
"That's a shit idea, you should stop doing that"
You swiped at the back of his head.
"Shut up you ass, I'm serious."
"Hi serious I'm- OW fucking hurt is what I am it's a joke, learn to take a-AH." You hurdled a handful of playground pebbles at the 17 year old.
"Alright, alright gorgeous, hit me- No! I meant hit me with the question you little shit." It was getting hard to breathe when he got you to giggle so hard.
You're laughter died down. You looked down, unsure if you could look at his face when you said this.
"I don't have a boyfriend." He abruptly stopped laughing, hiding the obvious fact that he almost choked on his own spit. You breathed a laugh again.
"I don't have a boyfriend. And you don't have a girlfriend." Your smile slipped off.
Tell him. Tell him, you're almost there. I don't have anyone, and you don't either except we do we have each we have each other we have-
You looked to Tommy, his boyish presence fitting on the swing set made for much younger kids. You were much younger kids when you met for the first time, on this very swing set. You think about telling him you fell in love with him when he pushed Jackson Paloski down on the asphalt because Jackson said trailer-trash can't play on the nice swing set. You didn't know it was love though, you were in the fourth grade but your heart still beat a little faster and when you asked him if you could sit beside him during lunch he huffed and complained, showing off he was moody and tough and haughty, but he very obviously made Michael Welsh move from his spot beside Tommy so that the pretty new girl could take her place beside him. And you stayed there. For years. Right beside him.
You felt the breath leave your lungs as you thought about telling him you can't stop thinking about him lately.
Can't stop hoping your skin will touch when he asks you to pass him something.
Can't help feeling like punching every girl that makes a scene trying to gain his attention. You're usually so focused on glaring at the girl that you miss the way he shrinks in on himself, the way he actively turns his body to you.
You think about telling him. And how telling him could mean you could do more, be more.
You think about telling him. And you think about him pulling away from you, gently gathering his things as he stumbles over how to let you down easily, unaware that that's not an option any more. Tommy letting you down would mean shattering.
You clench your jaw. His eyes try to tell you something.
"So. So since. We don't have someone." You look toward the Shell gas station across the street. Tommy wets his lips with a quick swipe of his tongue.
Your throat twinges, the twinge you get when you're trying to hold back tears. You shrug to yourself and let out a breathy laugh.
Coward.
"So since we don't have hot dates, we should make a deal." You make your voice upbeat. You know Tommy can call your bullshit but he doesn't, sit's quietly.
"If by the time we're 35, and we don't have a, someone, to, ya' know. We should get married." Your heart clenches. "If we don't have. Like if I don't have a husband, and you don't. Have a girl, or-" Tommy is quiet. White hot panic races up your spine. You look over at him.
Tommy looks-
He looks like he's frozen, like he's still a few sentences behind, and you're about to throw in the towel and swallow a few of these pebbles so you'll choke and die and won't have to hear his laughter tear apart your heart.
Then Tommy blinks and kind of hunkers in on himself, looks anywhere but you, eyes shifting and darting. His smile isn't his when he manages it.
"Oh, you're so on, sweetheart."
It's not quite right. The atmosphere is still tense and you feel like there's a conversation you're meant to be having, like there were supposed to be different words spoken and heard during that time.
But having Tommy, even if it's like this, even if he doesn't want you like you ache for him, is better than not having him at all.
Beside you, while you hurt quietly beside him, watching the sun set, rocking back and forth on the too low swing, Tommy swallows down self-hatred and overwhelming feelings. Instead, he schemes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's been five years since you've made your little deal with Tommy. Five years, and every single time you've tried to move on from the man, it's ended in catastrophe.
The time you two had just graduated high school and drove to Tommy's house so his older brother could congratulate you two. Brendan had had a buddy over that night, not much older than you, and you would be lying if you said you didn't flush appreciatingly at his sly smile toward you and the way he actively tried to add you in on the conversation.
The night ended rather abruptly when Tommy had spilled hot tea all over the guys front. Tommy was always collected, and it was rare moment when he was clumsy. Never mind the fact that Tommy never drank tea, and actively made fun of you drinking the stuff.
Or the time you two reluctantly went to Brendan's wedding. You loved Tess, and thought they were a great couple, but stomaching an entire ceremony of the two being gross and affectionate, all while you and Tommy couldn't boo and throw miscellaneous items at them? The entire evening was spent with Tommy snuggly against your side snarking quietly in your ear, so close you could feel his warm breath on the entire side of your face.
Yes, your plan of moving on was going swimmingly.
Then Tommy went to the bathroom, and a handsome man smiled at you across the room. You tentatively smiled back, and he moved as if to cross the distance. Then immediately stopped, his face dropping and his eyes widening slightly as he spotted something a little over your shoulder. You saw him clear his throat and veer toward a large group laughing.
Your felt your face slightly warm and your heart drop a little, self consciously looking over your shoulder.
And let out a noise of surprise.
Tommy stood behind you, so close for a second you thought a very well dressed wall had somehow appeared while you weren't looking. You had just enough time to see 'The Expression'.
Tommy was an amazing fighter. And all throughout high school, he made sure while he minded his own, he could also hold his own, and everyone knew it. He had developed an expression, one that scared every single boy in this town shitless. It was a mix between unbridled rage and open invitation. The message was pretty clear and universal.
Come get some.
You usually laughed and teased him about it, because to you it just looked like he stubbed his toe and he was trying not to yell.
You weren't expecting to see it at his brother's wedding, and you certainly weren't laughing now.
In a blink it was gone from his face, and he turned to you with his beautiful sweet smile, the smile that showed just a little peak of his slightly messed up front teeth. He usually reserved that smile for you. You had never seen anyone else on the receiving end.
"Tommy, why were you just-"
"This blows, I just passed Tess and Brendan flirting. They're already married, why would they keep doing that." He rolled his eyes, moving to your side as his hand disappeared behind your back.
"Tommy did you just square up to the guy checking me ou-"
"Brendan's friend is here, the one who can can do a Kick Up."
You stared at each other for a long moment. You felt his hand barely ghosting over the small of your back. His eyes where sharp, a little desperate.
"Tommy."
"There's also a rumor he killed a guy with just a playing card."
You licked your lips. He raised his eyebrows, his lips getting distracting.
"Shit Conlon, why didn't you start with that, take me to him."
Or the time, more recently, when you went to a match to watch Tommy completely destroy his opponent. You loved going out to see him fight. Loved the adrenaline and the satisfaction when Tommy won, making him less timid, a little more rowdy and confident, a little more touchy and feely.
You've kind of given up on the whole moving on thing, even if it was driving you up a wall.
Tommy had just won, and you were eagerly waiting to congratulate him, excited to hug him freely, without him wondering why you were hugging him to begin with. And maybe to hold on a little tighter. Maybe to allow your hands to rove a little more freely.
Hey, was it not a night for celebration?
A man started to chat you up. You smiled patiently and gave some noncommittal grunts and affirmations as you continued to scan the crowd, looking for the familiar mass of Tommy, all hard edges and bulk. You were bouncing on the balls of your feet.
The guy moved closer, making a joke you didn't really hear. You laughed, your eyes darting and searching.
"You look beautiful by the way. I saw you watching the fight, crazy that you're into this stuff. Not a lot of women I know cheer like that."
You finally glance over to the man, but quickly get back to standing on your tip toes, looking above heads.
He doesn't even look that bad, and it's obvious he wants to get your number. He's just not the man you want chat with, and definitely not tonight. Not on a night that Tommy just won, and a night he'll want to come over to yours, joking and teasing, touching you much more confidently than he normally would. Falling asleep much more easier with his head on your lap.
You tamp down a smile. You wouldn't want this guy to get the wrong idea.
"You know, there's a really good Thai place down the road- Ah, fuck, watch it buddy. Can you not look where you're go-" You hear the man choke off the sentence, trying not to smile as you imagine the other guy. probably a lot bigger than he is. Wouldn't want to completely ruin his night by laughing at the guy.
"Fuuck me, buddy, sorry. I did not know who I was talking to." You could hear the man swallow. "Hey, I think you did great in the ring tonight, real good job of... Knocking that guy out. With one punch."
You whirled around, smiling so wide you felt the strain on your cheeks. There was only one guy who did that tonight.
Sure enough, Tommy was standing there. He had put on a shirt and took his gloves off, but he was still sweaty and breathing hard. He completely stanced up, like he is in the ring, and his expression was-
Well, you chalked it up to the testosterone flowing freely through the place. Probably just mad that he ran into another dude.
It still didn't stop you from running and jumping directly on him, arms coming up to wrap around his neck, legs completely circling his torso. You giggled into his neck, exclaiming how proud you were of him, how good he looked out there, completely stroking his ego, but not caring at the moment.
You felt his arms immediately span your back, feeling like his hands where trying to be everywhere at once. That was new. That was new and you couldn't say you hated it.
What you didn't see was the look on Tommy's face. The cold calm of someone who just threw a punch so hard at a man who was bigger and faster than him and shut his shit down. Directed at another man, much slower and smaller in comparison.
You didn't see the stranger's face pale, but you distantly heard the sound of chairs clatter to the ground as he turned tail.
Five years of pining (not so) quietly for Tommy, the man you had fallen in love with, but without a doubt did not love you back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tommy knew without a doubt that he loved you.
All those years back in fourth grade, when he let it slip that his favorite snack was those crackers with the cheese filling, and you showed up with a whole pack of them to share, smiling this big goofy grin with your beautiful eyes and warm presence.
God how could he not.
The problem was how he was supposed to convince you to like him back. Him, Tommy, who fought most of his way through high school, who didn't like to get too close to people, who didn't like eye contact or conversation that ran too long or too forced. Who loved you though.
And who was very annoyed at the boy flirting with his girl.
It never failed to make Tommy's blood boil. He knew he had no right, because for one, he spent five years doing his damned best to break up every chance at you leaving him.
Just until you guys turn 35, right Tommy boy? You can probably keep that up.
Tommy breathed in a shuttering breath.
He just wanted to buy you your favorite drink at your favorite café. That's all he wanted to do. And maybe find and excuse to hold your hand without burning up from the embarrassment of actually having feelings (can you imagine?).
But of course, some dick-head always noticed how beautiful or kind or warm you were, and had to take their shot.
Well, Tommy was fucking sick of it.
Tommy thought of all the times, and there were a lot of times, when he had to step in and derail the situation. He knew this would be the last time. He had to do this, get rid of the unrelenting ache he felt while going to sleep, looking at you, thinking about you.
Tommy moved toward the you and the man you were talking to like he was entering the ring. With the mindset that he could get totally and irreversibly hurt, but he was gonna fight to the bloody end beforehand.
"Do you need directions?" Tommy asked as he slid up behind you, closer than he would have ever before. He felt your confusion even if he couldn't see your face.
"What?" The man was just as quizzical.
"Oh, I was just asking if you needed directions or if you could get lost on your own." Tommy raised his eyebrows, setting his hand on your hip, trying not to think about the many, many questions you'd have about that.
The man thought about arguing, but then he really looked at Tommy. Looked at you, then back to Tommy. Decided he didn't want to bleed tonight, and huffed out an angry sound.
You at least waited until he was out of ear shot before whirling on him.
"What. What was that?"
"Ok, I know what your probably thinking-"
"That you're out of your mind Tommy?! Are you kidding me right now? 'Get lost?' Get outta here with that shit, what was that?"
The two of you were pretty far back in the shop, but he still lowered his voice to make sure no one was bothered.
"Ok, yes, you're mad, I can see that-"
"Oooooh well I'm glad you can see that Tommy." You felt your face start to turn red, feeling exhausted and confused. "Explain. Explain to me Tommy, that every time a guy wants to have a nice, civil, God forbid, flirtatious conversation with me, he high tails it out of there just as fast, Tommy, explain."
Tommy felt an expanding ache somewhere behind his left eye.
"Ok. Ok I'm gonna say something stupid-"
"You always say something stupid, stupid-"
"Can you just. Can you let me finish." Tommy felt exasperated and a little insane. He was about to confess in a coffee shop to the girl he loved and things would never be the same again because she was about to leave, but fuck it if he wasn't at a boiling point.
"Ok. You know how we made a deal?" You looked at him, raising your eyebrows.
"About who could spray the most whipped cream in their mouth? Yeah it's me, it'll always be me. So you got so mad you're trying to, what, make sure I die alone, I don't..."
"What? No can you not, can you focus right now?" Tommy's palms were starting to sweat and he clenched his eyes shut tight. He breathed in and let it back out in one harsh huff. "When we were seventeen-"
"Seventeen?"
"When we were seventeen you said that if we weren't married by the time we were 35, that we should marry each other." He watched as your eyes widened and your face warmed a little. "Well, the deals off. I'm not doing it any more."
Tommy wasn't sure what to expect, but the flash of utter pain that tore across your face was not it. You stepped back, looked like you were about to bolt, your eyes wild. You tried to pull yourself together but it was really hard to breathe. No matter how many times you tried to prepare yourself for this day, you could have never imagined how it actually almost brought you know to your knees.
"So. Here's the new deal. If in like, five minutes, you're still single, and I'm still single..." Tommy swallowed hard, licking his lips. "We should just." His eyes darted to your lips.
You froze. Tommy caught his lush lower lip in between his teeth. He'd never been more nervous his entire life. So nervous for the inevitable laugh, the pity laced rejection, because really, it was one thing to be friends with a shy awkward boxer, but another to look at him and think, 'yeah, that'll do.'
Tommy had approximately five seconds to wallow in self deprecation and pure terror before he had a handful of you, and something that suspiciously felt like lips on his lips. But that's funny, because he's almost positive that that's not the case.
Then he felt your tongue swipe his lip and decided he cared fuck all and proceeded to get lost in you, your breaths, God he could feel, taste, your breath as you both got consumed by each other.
Someone coughed disapprovingly your way. The two of you broke apart, panting slightly.
"Ok, ok please don't. I really don't want you to hit me but I'm really fucking dense, right, and I just have to ask, you did that because you. You like like me- OW I said I didn't want you to hit me!"
You felt yourself laughing, felt your never ending ache subside and your love sky rocket.
"Oh, you're an idiot," You pecked his lips, he tried to catch your mouth fully but failed. "You are such and idiot- Oh my God we're both idiots holy- Hey. Hey, you, you've been. Have you been sabotaging-"
"Did you hear that?" Tommy tilted his head and looked toward the ceiling. "Ope- oh yeah. No. yeah, that's for sure the sound of-" He cut off, dropping his serious expression, grinning as he leaned down and kissed your mouth again, this time taking your words and any objections, affectively cutting off any questions that would leave him looking stupid.
You two would need to sit down, to talk about how you've felt all these years, how you were both so stupid that you both refused to confess to each other.
But for now, you lost yourself in the taste of Tommy, and the heady feeling of someone you've loved for seemingly forever, loving you back.
Real Quick: Would you be mad if in the next fics I write I called this man Tomithy? Asking for a friend.
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wh0re-4-techno · 3 years
Text
7. Flirty Mess ((PROFESSOR TECHNO))
Description: It's you first day back to Techno's class, but how could you sit down through the lesson without thinking about your lil make out session from earlier that week. But that doesn't stop you from going back to him.
Warning(s): Steamy day dreams about Technoblade. Not technical smut, but there is explicit grinding.
Words: 3723
Last part :: Next part
You gaze into his face, his eyes piercing through yours. Both of your lips swollen from kissing but that didn't matter in the moment. You dip your head down to him, his lips connecting with yours. Biting softly on your bottom lip, you open your mouth for him. His tongue slowly slipped in as if he was cautious.
You moan into his mouth as your hand grips this shirt, bunching it in the process. You lean in more, hungry for more. Both of you craved for each other at a point it was becoming more and more painful.
Rocking your hips back and forth, his hands placed nicely on your hips, pulling you down more. Airy moans fly freely into the air.
One of his hands snaked there way up from your waist to your neck. Slight pressure as he gripped onto your throat. Making you squirm under his power over you, your hands grasp for his hair.
He broke the heated kiss, in a low tone he whispered. "Hello? Y/n?" You stare blankly at him, but everything started to disappear. "HELLO?"
Minx waves her hands over your face. You shake your head slightly while blinking, the bright lights of the café seem particularly more fluorescent this morning. "You good up there?" She questions, she finally puts her hands down. But her face was still confused as to why you've been so off this morning. "Are you okay?" She worries, which makes you a little happy at least. "Yeah-Yeah I'm fine. Just really fucken tired I guess." You grab a hold of your coffee, raising it to your lips before take a long sip of it.
You shouldn't be day dreaming of him, especially because he was your Professor. It made you feel wrong and filthy, but at the same moment you where just kissing him in his office a few day ago and you thought it was amazing.
"Well that coffee will wake you up." She drinks mid sentence. It felt like you were on the brink of having a headache.
Trying her best to change the subject as it was getting a tad bit awkward, Minx asks, "So how's Karl?" Your eyes widen at her question. Why was it always about boys? "Excuse me?" You were in confusion as to why she would even ask you about him. You only talked to him one time and even that was because he called you. Both of you didn't even text each other. "You were so cute together at the party!" She exclaims, "How do you remember that night, you were drinking way more then me?" You pinch the bridge of your nose. "Because Miss Y/l/n, you're a light weight." You just huff at her.
Your hand still on your face, "I haven't talked to him since Wednesday, I don't think I'll text him either." You just wanted to go back to bed and skip the day like Minx would do so often. "Com'on! You've been waiting for a guy to show up in your life!" She puts down her coffee, placing her hands flat down on the table. Waiting for you, she continues. "Now you have this sweet and kind boy." You reluctantly let her take your hands into hers.
"Why don't you ask him for a coffee date? What's in the way of this?" She asks. If only she knew about you and your Professor.
"I just don't have the time. And if I'm going to be honest with you, I don't want a boyfriend right now." That was a lie. Well half a lie, you didn't want Karl to be your boyfriend. But that doesn't mean you wanted someone else to be your boyfriend, if thats what he, being Techno, even wanted to actually date you. "Y/n, I just want you to be happy..." She was honest, her words spoken carefully. You look up at her, she had a sweet smile waiting for you. You softly chuckle, "Thank you Minx. But I am happy right now." You tell her with a toothy smile, you wanted to tell her everything but you didn't know how she would react and you didn't want to learn if she'd flip out about your little situation.
Letting go of her hand. She reaches for your coffee cup, feeling as it was close to being finish you take the last sip you could before she grabs it.
Great timing as your class was about to begin, unsure if you should even show up a little early, if the two of you left right now or show up late.
There was no option for you at the moment as Minx takes your empty cup along with hers to the trash. Waiting for you to follow her out. You take your bag and head to the doors with her. "I really don't want go to my class. I have like two papers due at the end of class and I have to finish both of them during the lecture." Minx tells you while opening the door for you, feeling the cold breeze on your legs. Slightly shivering from it as you didn't wear pants, instead you wore a plaid skirt, with a plane white shirt and a jacket.
"I bet you could do them both before the lecture ends." You praise her, she was a really good writer and could knock off assignments really quick compared to you. "Uh huh sure." She rolls her eyes at you, you chuckle at her annoyance. "I'm telling you the truth. You can do it with ease." You slightly push her, she just nods off.
Minx checks her phone, "My class starts in 10 minutes, I'll see at the field?" She asks while putting her phone right back in her pocket again. "I'll text you if I can, I have to talk to my teacher about this assignment he asked us to do over the week and I didn't do it." You tell her about your homework, which you completely forgotten about from your other classes and the party. It completely went over your head. She understands but sticks out her tongue out like a little kid, "Boo. But okay, I'll meet you whenever." She goes in for a hug, you gladly take and hug her back. You watch as she walks the other direction.
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Walking in his class, a few minutes before it starts.
He was slumped at his desk, his face down in a book. Heavily focused, maybe he wouldn't notice you come in. But to little of your knowledge, he was waiting ever so patiently for you to step in his class. Each time a person came in he would glance up with excitement for it potentially being you.
He slightly shifted his eyes to see who just walked in and once he sees you a small smirk curved on his lips. You avoid eye contact at first. It was awkward for you. Just knowing how well he could kiss your neck at a point it makes you moan. You couldn't look at him, you didn't even need to look in a mirror to tell you were red in the face.
You walk up towards your normal seat, seeing the three boys waving to you from a row up from you. You wave back with a smile. While sitting down with your bookbag beside you hear Wilbur, "We haven't talked since the party, how are you?" He asks for the group of boys, they all looked down at you. "I've been good." The collectively nod theirs heads. "It was a hell of a party, you know if y'all would have another any time soon?" You ask, they chuckle at your response. "Hell yeah it was." Tommy added on. Then Toby starts talking, "I'll ask around if there's going to be any other party's soon." He also winks at you, not romantically but as friendly you could do.
The four of you have a small conversation before Techno gets the lecture started.
"Okay! I will be collecting the homework from last class at the end, other than that I will put on a video about Roman mythology." He stands from his desk, hands pressed flat on the desk.
He wore black slacks and a white button down, without a tie.
How you wanted to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him on top of you. Letting him do whatever he pleases.
Slowly drifting, techno reals you back by asking the class, "Everyone understand? Good!" Slowly scanning the students for responses. His eyes landing on yours, it felt as he just saw right through you for mere second before moving on. He turned away and back to him desk where he started to play video.
But as the video was on, you couldn't look away from Techno. He was very distracting, mid-way through the video he glances up at you. Seeing as you were already staring at him. He decides to play with you, he carefully pulling his hands from his book to his shirt. Making sure you were completely focus on him, after knowing you were giving him your undying attention. He painfully slowly started to unbutton the first few from his shirt.
He sends a wink to you. You couldn't take this anymore...
-----
"Time for you to leave, get your asses out of my class!" He clapped his hands together. The harshness of the light turning on suddenly made you and your classmates hiss in slight pain. "I'm serious, get and go." While standing up from your seat you let a couple of people included the trio to leave before you. Grabbing your bookbag and heading down the stairs. Seeing as everyone was pulling out their completed homework assignment and you didn't have it finished, this was almost perfect way for you and him to talk.
Waiting patiently at the door, watching as the last few people leave the classroom. You close the door, once again it was you and him. Alone.
He looked over to you, a grin growing on his face. "Back for more?" He asks with an eyebrow quirked, his cockyness and playfulness was making it hard for you to even answer him. As he heads to you with long strides you tell him, "I- You could say that-" Clearly flustered by his words he cuts you off. "I'm just teasing darling, why do you need my assistance?" He stood tall in front of you, it was taking your whole body from wanting to jump on that man's bones. Biting your inner lip, "I didn't finish the homework assignment, so I'm asking if you could help me." You ask, your hands fidgeting the entire time.
"Of course I'll help you darling, but may I ask why you didn't finish it?" He questions whilst opening the door, gesturing with his head tilt to follow him out. But knowing that he would take you to his office, you follow him with little shame. 
Holding the door open to his office, you question if you should even go in there, but your feet make the decision for you. Walking in it's still the same, thinking on it, you don't think he'll ever change it. Still have the same books and tea cup littering along his room, but at least it smells very fine of plants and tea.
As soon as the door closes with a click he grabs onto your arm, not letting you go further into his room as you where heading to your normal seat. He was hesitant at first but seeing as you didn't protest, he pulls you to him. Your body's almost touching, achingly too close. He softly spoke, his eyes piercing through yours, "I could careless about that stupid homework assignment." He holds his breath slightly, "I can't get that kiss out of my head..." Shifting his head slowly down, too frighten by a disapproval face, how could you ever have feeling for him? He's your damn Professor, it would never work. He thinks. But as his thoughts rushed to take over his smart mind.
You pull his attention, looking back at him with a giddy smile. Quickly his worrisome thoughts disappear. "Me too..." His lips slight part in astonishment. He pulled you in slowly, making sure you were okay with this and you were. Your lips collide. It was rushed and needy, just wanting and waiting for eachother throughout the day that lead to right now. How've you imagine this to happen again while sleeping and day dreaming. It was so intoxicating for you, how his lips fit perfectly into yours.
Hitching your breath as his hands softly land on your waist and pull you completely against him.
Your hands automatically connect to his neck, your finger tips play with the ends of his soft hair. Pushing him ever so slightly down, making him have to bend over. Deeping the kiss, he walks the both of you to his desk.
While heading towards his desk, his hands wondered aimlessly. Taking your steps back you run into the leather chairs, one of your hands push, well try to push it away. Techno helps you out and pushes the chair for you. Reaching to the desk. Jumping on with a huff, you were back kissing him. He tasted like green tea, which the evidence was on his desk as the little tea cup still had a little left in it. But that didn't matter in the moment. His hands roam your body, taking off your jacket in the process.
Signing in bliss, opening your mouth for him. Giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue in, which he took with little to no hesitation this time around. You didn't even want to fight for dominance. Knowing he had it all, you just wanted him. His hands pull on the hem of your shirt, pushing it up for his hands to touch you. His finger tips touching your hot waist, slowly going up. You lock your hand in his hair and pull him down more. "Watch it with the hair darling." He hisses, pulls away for a split second, telling you stern. That rough voice was enough for you to squirm. But he was back to kissing you right away.
He presses his body closer to you, trying your hardest not to moan. But that didn't stop your body doing so, uncontrollably you let out an airy moan. Feeling you shutter while doing so. His lips leave yours, his eyes sparkle with desire. He placed his lips on your cheek, to your chin, to your neck. Kissing a tail down to your shoulder.
Biting down and sucking. Your lips open to an "O" shape and moan. He left many hickeys, varying in sizes and how dark they where. You grip his hair once again, this time not caring if he told you off about it. This time wanting him to correct you. As his lips reach a perfect sport on your neck. You swallow a loud moan as he bites down. You whimper softly.
You feel his hands slide down your waist and out of your shirt to your hips. They snake down to the back of your thighs. His hands where cold compare to how hot your where becoming. Your legs wrapped around his hips, your skirt lifting up in the process.
Slowly, you started to grind onto him. His belt was placed perfectly to hit your clothed clit as you slowly go up and down. Your neediness was overpowering you as he continued to leave hickeys all over your shoulder and neck. They where going to be impossible to cover, and you weren't ready to be teased for days from Minx. But all of that was out the window right now.
You moan as he pushes back, figuring out  where you getting some sort of pleasure. He broke off his kisses, which made you slightly frustrated but then he spoke, "You sound so beautiful." His words in your ear made you melt into putty. You slam your lips back onto his. It muffled your moans as they where getting harder to stay quiet. You didn't want anyone waking by his office to hear you.
But then,
KNOCK KNOCK.
Scaring the shit out of the two of you, causing you to jump at the sudden loud knocking at that someone interrupted you and Techno.
"Fuck me!" He curses in a whisper before resting his head down your shoulder, out of breath. "I would most definitely like too." You say provocatively, taking him completely out of his mind. You sit there for a few moments, such a tease, you know that by now. But how much the both of you wanted each other, it was hard to contain yourself.
Hearing another pair of knocks.
He peppers little kisses on your collar bone before pulling away from you. You quickly jump off the desk, trying to make as little noise as you could. You rush step to the side of the room, "One second, I'm coming." His voice slightly cracking while walking to the door.
He brushes his hair with his fingers like a comb, fixing what you had done to him in the heated situation. Flatten his shirt to take out any wrinkles, opening the door. "Hello Sir, Could I talk to you for a second?" That voice... Why do you know it? Fuck. "Hey Wilbur." Techno says awkwardly, knowing that you and him were buddy buddy, as he sees you talking to him and the two other boys every class.
It was Wilbur goddamn Soot.
Your hand reaches your mouth, covering it as you were in shock. Your leg slight bouncing with anxiety. What if he sees you like this, skirt bunched, shirt slight lifted with your makeup smudged. And where was you jacket?
Looking left and right, no where to be seen, but as you glance at the desk and slightly beside the chair is where it laid.
Techno's hand holds the door tight, hiding you from your fellow classmate as you yourself didn't look exactly presentable at the moment. "Actually Wilbur, I don't have the time too-" Techno says with a little nervousness to his voice, if he saw you two together at this state, he would obviously know that something was up and Techno wasn't going to take that chance. And now that your jacket was on the floor for him to see, hopefully he doesn't notice or doesn't remember that you are the one whom owns that jacket. "Please Mr. Blade." He pleads with Techno, but no avail. There was no way he was going to let him in. "I'm sorry, I really can't right now." He declined once again to the boy.
Wilbur sighs, hearing him starting to walk away, "How bout you come to my office tomorrow!" He reaches out slightly, smiling at his student, he didn't really want to leave him helpless with whatever he need his help with. He could never do that to a student. Wilbur gladly takes his offer and you could hear him head off down the hall way.
Techno closes the door, his back pressed on it.
He brings his hand up to his forehead, "That was close, too close." He swears once again, swiping his face. He's breath pretty heavily, you step up to him, still a mess. Comforting him, you place your hands on his chest, lightly patting him. "Hey, it's okay. We just have to be more careful with, this." You motion between the two of you with your index finger. Both of you really haven't labeled anything. "And he didn't see me! So that's a huge plus!" You smile, trying to light up the conversation and tension.
He looks down at you, a soft smile starts to curve, still anxious of what just happened. But he was just happy that you were here with him, and not getting caught.
He starts chuckling before telling you, "This seems like a good time to give you something. Actually it's not, but I've been wanting too for a while." You fiddle with his collar as he spoke, curious what he meant. "I didn't know how to exactly ask you for your number. And that it's just the us now and we stopped kissing-" Cutting him off as you pull him towards you by the collar, stopping him dead in his tracks.
He swallowed hard. Your lips so close to his, it was taking good strength in yourself to not kiss him. "Now is the perfect time." Saying in a low tone, your eye flicker back up to him. A somewhat goofy smile curved on his lips. "Perfect." He said with a soft laugh, you loosen your hand, giving him a small kiss on his cheek.
You let him go, stepping back he fixes himself by patting down his shirt.
He hands you his phone, already open to his contacts. Quickly you put your number in and simply putting your name in. Once handing his phone back he sends you a ":)".
You put him in your contacts as just T, hopefully no one would ever make the connection between the two of you.
Both of you stand for a few seconds before Techno speaks. "Would you want to go to lunch with me?" He asks, sliding his phone in his back pocket. You   obviously had a smile on your face as he asks, but you question, "Like a date?" He stares down at you, it seemed dry cut that it was going to be a date. But you wanted to hear him say it himself. "Yes, a date." That made you grin wider by his confirmation. You were really going on a lunch date with your Professor.
"I would like nothing more than that Techno." Which made Techno stiff out a chuckle, he thought you were so damn cute.
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beskarhearts · 3 years
Text
Scars (Din Djarin x reader)
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Connection series pt. 4
Pairing: Din Djarin x reader (no use of Y/N)
Warnings: cursing, mention of family members passing away, scars, torture from empire, some sexual tension
Word count: A little over 4.8K
Summary: The Mandalorian sees a part of you that you’ve been hiding and comforts you.
Notes:  Did I listen to drivers license by olivia rodrigo on repeat while writing this and tear up at least two times? Yes. Is this possibly the saddest thing I’ve written yet? Yes.
Last Part ____ Next Part
__________________________________________________________
“If you don’t take off your jacket and sweater, I will.”
And that is when you realized that everything the Mandalorian says sounds 20x more sexual than it ever should.
________________________________
You’ve said it once. And you will say it a hundred more times.
The Razor Crest was a hunk of junk. A total piece of trash. It may as well had been space garbage, just floating through the atmosphere. You swore it was a metal death trap that could just happen to fly through light speed. You told Din to get a new ship and he had very sassily remarked about how she was perfectly fine (yes, he referred to his stupid ship as a ‘she’ and you couldn’t stop laughing about it for five minutes straight).
Regardless of Din’s arguing, you knew deep down the ship was junk. And that is why you had to stop (again). You had rushed to fix the wing on the planet where you had been attacked and it’s been a couple days since then. It held up okay but you knew you were going to have to stop on a planet for probably a whole day, so you could fix the wing, as well as the heater which had broken down in the last day.
So you and Din had planned to stop on a remote planet. One without a lot of humans or any big civilizations near by, that way you wouldn’t have another surprise visitor like last time. One where you could fix the ship and where Din could take a day to relax, to sit back and not worry about the safety of you and the kid. To be honest, it sounded like a great day to you. You would keep busy with the ship, but Din would watch over the kid and talk to you. It would be like how life used to be almost. A taste of normalcy in an otherwise hectic world.
And then Din landed you in the middle of the damn desert.
“Din Djarin, when I said land on a planet, you couldn’t have chosen one with water or plants or nice, cool temperatures?” Din had just stepped back into the ship after checking the surroundings of where you had landed. His armored head faced you and the kid you had held in your arms. The child gurgled endlessly, his tiny fingers clutching onto the zipper of your jacket as you rocked him back and forth. 
“I’ve been to this planet before. There aren’t a lot of people. Worse there is are some Jawas. And Mudhorns, but they stick to the caves.”
“Mudhorns? Where are we?”
“Arvala-7. This is one of the first places the kid and I went together.” The Mandalorian walked towards the two of you, stopping right in front of you. One of his gloved hands reached out to pat at the kids head. The child’s attention drifted from your zipper to his father, a hand reaching out. Din wiggled one of his fingers at the kid, something you don’t even think he realized he did, and watched as the three green digits wrapped around his finger. You smiled at the sight before you, looking at Mando’s helmet which was tilted down, aimed towards the child. The moment felt so domestic, like you three were just a little family. You and Din parenting the kid, living life traveling through the galaxy, not because you had to run but because you wanted to. You could’ve easily let yourself drift into the daydream but shook it away. That was a reality a person like you could never have. A reality that Din deserved and maybe could have one day, but with someone else. Someone who was worthy of a man like him. 
“Well, I am so glad you and the kid are going to take a trip down memory lane here but I am going to die from the heat.” You heard the Mandalorian chuckle as his hands reached out to grab the child. You handed him over to his dad’s arms, which the kid seemed to very pleased about. You could tell that the kid liked his father’s embrace, even though most of his body was covered in beskar. He liked to be held by Din and lately you had been wondering what that would feel like. For his strong arms to wrap around you. 
Lately you had been thinking a lot of things about the Mandalorian that you shouldn’t have.
“Didn’t you grow up on Jakku? That place is even hotter than here.” The words were said with a hint of sarcasm, as his helmet turned as if to said ‘duh’. 
“Yes but that was different.”
“How? Just take off some layers and you’ll be fine.” 
He said it very matter-of-factly and you supposed that was a reasonable thing for most people to do. Most of the time when you were on Jakku, outside working, you would only wear a pair of cargo shorts and a tank top with a work vest. Light layers that kept you cool and allowed your skin to be kissed by the sun as you worked away on a ship. You remembered spending hours upon hours outsides, never being bothered once by the heat and desert environment. 
But things were different. You had lived on Yungbrii for so long now that you were used to the cold. And you always wore your sweater, with a jacket over it. Taking those off weren’t an option anymore. Wearing just the tank top underneath them wasn’t an luxury you could afford anymore. 
“I have a shirt you can borrow if you need to.” Din broke your train of thought with the offer.
An offer that nearly made you lose it. You had never once thought of wearing a piece of Din’s clothing. Hadn’t ever crossed your mind or been mentioned. And you knew he was only offering it because the temperature outside, no other reason. Not because he wanted to see you in his clothing or anything like that. Just to be kind.  But, the thought of you wearing a shirt of Dins, something his skin had touched and probably smelled like him and would probably swallow you... made you feel some things. And a part of you really, really wanted to take him up on the offer. But that would show too much skin.
“No!” You had inadvertently yelled it out, watching as Mando’s helmet whipped up from the kid to you. “I mean... uh, yeah. No thanks. I’m good.”
“Uh, okay. Yeah.” 
An awkward silence filled the room until the kid let out a loud giggle. You swear the little womp rat could tell when you had just done some dumb shit and always thought it was the funniest thing in the whole damn galaxy. You scrunched up your nose as the kids big black eyes looked up at you and you turned to look away from him and Din. 
You needed to ease the tension. “Don’t you get hot in the giant tin can of yours?” 
You couldn’t tell if Din found the tin can jokes funny or insulting, but every-time you made them he let out a little huff, one you couldn’t decipher as a laugh or a sigh. It was one of those times you wished you could see him face. You had gotten pretty used to reading him, despite the helmet and his quiet demeanor. But times like these you wish you could see an expression, an eyebrow raise, a smile, anything. “Sometimes.”
“I’d imagine you are sweating buckets under there.” You walked towards the bag you had stuffed in a corner of Din’s ship, reaching into it to grab your father’s box of tools. The cool touch of the metal against your fingers made a pain spread throughout your whole body. The tools were the only thing you had left of him. The only reminder that he had existed and that he had been there for you every day. The only reminder of the hours he spent teaching you about ships and how to fix them, ever since you were only a tiny little girl. Your mother thought you would be preoccupied with more feminine things. But even at a young age, you loved the feel of metal against your fingers, the sweat that would collect on your brow from the sun, the ache of your muscles from a hard days work. It gave you purpose, meaning. It was a way to help and to contribute. And all you had ever wanted to do was help your family, even in the end. 
But you had failed to do that.
You heard the clanking of Din’s boots behind you and he stopped behind you, bending down at the knees. If he didn’t have his helmet on, you probably could have felt his breath on the back of your neck, but now you only heard the sound of his breathing through the modulator. It was faint but it was there. “You okay?”
You could of broke down sobbing at the moment. At your father’s tools in your hand and Din’s worry about you. But, instead you shook your head and stood up, looking down at him still bent down. “I’m getting there.”
And it was true. For the first time in years, you felt like maybe one day you would be okay. That the pain wouldn’t be so gut-wrenching every day.
And that was only because of Din.
“I should probably get started on fixing the ship.” You gave the Mandalorian, your Mandalorian, a small smile and walked past him, outside of the ship.
_____________________________________
It was so hot.
You weren’t used to the heat anymore. You weren’t used to the way your sweat would seep out of every pore, drenching your clothes. You weren’t used to the fatigue that came along with a hard day’s work in the sun. And the sweater and jacket probably weren’t helping. But no way in hell were you going to take them off. No one was even around but Din kept walking back outside to check on you, probably cause your stupid ass was dying of heat exhaustion. 
Your sweater clung to your skin, the jacket slightly more durable but still trapping your body heat. You bent over a panel on the Razor Crest’s side, a tool tightly grasped in your hand as you worked away. The other hand reached up to wipe away at your forehead continuously. 
“You are going to kill yourself out here.”
Something you hated about the Mandalorian was that he could be so quiet sometimes and sneak up on you. The man was always covered in metal and you would think you would hear him from a mile away, but he could come up behind you without letting out a peep. Which made sense considering his job but it was so unnerving.
You jumped, turning to look at Din, who stood with his hands on his hips and his helmet tilted. “You look like shit.” The words were said gruffly, with an air of annoyance.
“Well, you sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself.” You were almost too tired and hot to let the joke out, but you didn’t want Din to know how horrible you felt. Which was probably useless because you couldn’t even see yourself and knew Din was in fact correct: you did look like shit. Your skin was flushed red, your hair pulled into a ponytail but tiny wisps of hair clung to your head, wet from perspiration. 
“You need to take off some layers. You are overheating.”
“How do you know, sir?”
“My helmet can tell your internal body temperature.”
Of course it can. “Well that feels invasive.”
Din let out a loud sigh at that, one that was loud and clear through the modulator. You were driving him crazy but he didn’t understand. “You need to take them off.”
“Nope.” You let your lips pop out the word, going to turn away when you felt Din’s hand reach out and grab your arm. He turned you back to face him, stepping even closer.
“If you don’t take off your jacket and sweater, I will.”
And that is when you realized that everything the Mandalorian says sounds 20x more sexual than it ever should.
You thanked the Maker that your face was already a bright red from the sun and tried your best to not start choking on your own saliva from the words. On the list of things you thought Din Djarin would say to you, you never would have put ‘threatening to take your clothes off’. 
You blamed the modulator. Something about the modulator made his deep, raspy words sound sexier than they had any right to (not that you frequently thought that Din’s voice sounded sexy, because that would be weird and inappropriate).  And Din was saying this to try to convince you to stop killing yourself in this unbearable heat, but your stomach still clenched at the threat. 
Damn you, Din Djarin. You had to come up with a good come back. Something so he knew his words hadn’t effected you. 
“Well, Din, if you wanted to see me undressed this badly, you should of asked sooner.”
You expected Din to step back, mumbling some lame apology and leaving you be but your Mandalorian was much more determined than you realized. “Sweet girl, no snarky response is going to make me leave this be. You are gonna die out here.”
Oh boy. Of course he said sweet girl. He had said it once last night while you had a conversation (the same conversation where you had told him a little about your family) and you had lamely teased him about flirting. Maybe because you were secretly hoping he was flirting. And you were afraid you had scared him away from ever calling you that again, because you honestly loved the way it sounded. Sweet girl. It was such a sweet thing, made so much sense that Din would call you that. It made you feel special and made your hands tremble. 
Oh, now you had to come up with something really good. Because not only was Din trying to get your to take your sweater off, but now you swear the man was teasing you. There was no way he had no clue what he was doing. And you were the only one allowed to tease people here. So you had to come back with something really snarky, really teasing, that way he’d leave you alone and let you breathe.
But he didn’t give you time to do that because his gloved fingers started reaching for the shoulders of your jacket, so he could take it off of you. And while you were sure in any other situation, if you were any other person with any other life, you maybe just might of let Din continue, you had to stop it.
“I’ll take it off!” you yelled out.
Din ripped his hands away from you, looking down at them for a split second before dropping them down to his sides. He stepped back slowly, like he was unsure what to say or what to do with the tension in the environment. 
“I’ll take them off. But you can’t be out here. You need to stay in the ship.” You said the words slowly and watched as the Mandalorian nodded his head in response, before turning away without another word. 
You were confused. You didn’t know what had just happened. You didn’t know if the Mandalorian was angry with you or if he was reeling from what had just happened like you were. But you didn’t give yourself much more time to think before you took the jacket off, letting it drop to the ground. Your fingers reached for the hem of your sweater and with a shakey breath and one more look around your surroundings, you lifted the fabric over your head. Leaving you only in a jankily cut tank top, with the scars littered on your back and arms exposed. The very scars you had avoided looking at were out for the world to see for the first time since you got them.
________________________________________
The child was most definitely a womp rat. 
It was like he knew when it was not the time to mess around, and decided to mess around. You had been bent down, working away at a panel mindlessly, not paying much attention to your surroundings. You were so close to being done and were consumed in the final bits of work. And the child had made his way out of the ship, waddling up behind you, reaching for you without you being aware of it. You were lost in the gruel of work, in the warm feeling of the sun on your skin. You didn’t know what was happening until it was too late. Until you head the footsteps. 
You flipped around, looking over to the child and then hearing the Mandalorians boots pound on the ramp leading outside. The child let out a squeak at the sight of his dad and it was too late. Din’s head whipped to look over right as your turned around, desperately reaching for your jacket or sweater to cover your skin. You knew it wasn’t on purpose. You knew the kid had probably escaped and Din was just worried about him leaving the ship. You knew he was just worried about the kids whereabouts. It wasn’t malicious or an excuse to look. It was just happenstance but it was still too late. 
“I’m sorry. The kid was napping and I turned around and then he disappeared and-” You heard the abrupt pause in his babbling and knew he saw. Knew he saw the dozens of marks on your back and arms that faced him. Saw the scars that were an almost white color but still very apparent. Saw the scars you so desperately tried to cover. 
You slowly turned around, feeling your chest cave as this part of you was exposed. Tears pricked at your eyes as you saw Din look at you. The child cooed with curiosity, not quite understanding the gravity of the moment. “Who did this to you?”
You heard the tone of his voice loud and clear. He was angry and sounded like a man ready to kill. You knew he wouldn’t like seeing it but even you didn’t understand how much this hurt Din to see. To see his sweet one so hurt and scarred. To see that someone did something so awful to you, something you would always keep as a reminder. “Din-”
“Tell me who.” He wasn’t messing around. He didn’t want to hear you try to calm him or change the conversation. He wanted to know who was responsible for your pain.
You let out a sigh. “Let’s go inside.” 
You picked up the kid, cursing him mentally for being so curious, and your other hand reached for your box of tools until you saw the Mandalorian reach for them. He followed you as you walked up the ramp, into the Razor Crest. You set the child into his little hammock, handing him one of his small toys to keep him preoccupied as the Mandalorian closed the hatch, locking out the outside world. The world that had caused you and him so much pain. You were back in your ship, your bubble where there was joy and love.
“Who did that to you?” He repeated, more evenly but you still heard the rage dripping off his words. His fists were clenched tightly and his helmet was aimed right towards you. You couldn’t see his eyes but you felt like they were burning into your skin.
“This Imperial leader...” You took a deep breath in and out before continuing. “When they found my family, my grandmother wasn’t anywhere around. And they wanted her most. So, they tortured me, hoping I would give up her location. But, I didn’t know and now... I’ve got this ugly, horrible reminder.”
The air was heavy around you as a single tear slipped out. Din didn’t say anything or move. Even the child sat quietly in his hammock, big eyes staring at the two of you. You went to finally put your sweater on when Din finally interrupted with a small “Wait.”
You looked up at the man in front of you. Din brought his hands together, slowing taking off one of his gloves finger by finger until he switched to take the other off. “Do you trust me?” 
You didn’t have to think about it. You just responded with a nod of the head and watched as Din dropped the gloves and slowly stepped towards you, like you were an injured animal he didn’t want to scare away. You still held the sleeve of your sweater limply in one hand, the rest of the fabric resting on the floor of the ship. Part of you still wanted to crawl into it, hide yourself, and pretend Din hadn’t seen a thing. But it was too late for that and in all honesty, you trusted Din Djarin so much. It had only been a matter of maybe a few months since you had joined him and the kid. But it felt so much longer. It had been the first time in so long that you felt safe and cared about, and you didn’t know how Din felt but you hope he shared the same feelings.
You almost gasped when Din’s hand reached out to grab your arm. It was surprisingly gentle, his fingers felt like they were just barely holding on to you. His fingertips were calloused but not rough. They gently traced the bare skin of your arm, one hand holding your wrist and the other beginning to dance along your skin. Din raised his helmet to look at you quickly and you nodded, letting him know what he was doing was okay. Not just okay, but welcomed. Din’s helmet turned back down to your arm as he watched his fingers trace the warm, sun kissed flesh.
Din’s fingers ran up the length of your arm, going from the forearm to your bicep. He moved your wrist slowly in the opposite direction, wanting you to turn around. You slowly turned, no longer facing the Mandalorian. His hands dropped from your arms and part of you wanted to whine at the lost of contact. But then Din moved your hair gently in front of your shoulders and you knew he now had a complete view of your back, besides the flimsy fabric of your tank top. His fingers returned to your skin, this time each one  to each of your shoulders. You closed your eyes, trying to hold back tears, as you felt one of Din’s fingers trace one of your scars. It sent a spark through your body. His touch was so gentle and so kind and it was like he was purifying the marks, no longer making them something so ugly and twisted. The skin to skin contact was minimal, but so electrifying and warm. It made your whole chest feel warm and you realized you had never had someone do something for this like you. You never had someone take your broken pieces and try to make you whole. Nobody had ever treated you so gently because you didn’t let this part of you show. 
But with Din it was so easy to. And so safe. 
“Sweet girl...” He barely whispered the words, but you heard them as he continued to work all over your back. 
A tear slipped down your cheek at the name, the name he made for you. A name you didn’t have to ask for and didn’t expect. But one he gave you, to make you feel cared for because that you deserved. And Din knew that. 
“Din...” You didn’t really have anything to say but you just wanted to feel his name slip from your lips. It was so comforting.
“Do you know how beautiful you are?”
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Din sat in the cockpit with the child in the seat beside him, bundled up and asleep, as she took a shower. His hands were still shaking and his gloves were back on but his fingers felt like they were burning. He had stood there, probably for a good hour, just touching her skin. He didn’t even know why he had done it. Why that had seemed like a good idea for him to do. For all he knew, the last thing in the world she wanted was for him to touch him. But, as soon as he grabbed onto her skin with his bare hands, he felt himself melt into and felt like maybe she had too. 
The moment had been so vulnerable. She stood there, scars and all, and let herself be consoled by him. And he was vulnerable too. He exposed himself a little bit to her, letting himself delve into every part of her. She was so soft but so strong. He never doubted once her ability to protect herself and the kid. He didn’t think she was fragile. He just saw she was a human being, one who needed to be shown how perfect they were. How beautiful they were.
Because, Maker, she was so beautiful to him. Every part of her was perfect to him. And all he wanted was to show her that.
His train of thought was broken as he turned his head, listening as she made her way up the ladder to the cockpit. She stepped in and Din swore he could have stayed in this moment forever.
"I, uh, hope you don’t mind. I borrowed one of your shirts.”
Din didn’t mind at all. The sight of her in one of his shirts nearly gave him a heart attack but he still didn’t mind. The shirt was slightly too big on her, swallowing most of her midsection but fell by her thighs. Her hair was still damp from her shower and he was used to it being up in a pony tail. But now it fell down her shoulders and back. 
He realized he was staring at her and cleared his throat quickly. “No. Not at all.” He gave her a small smile without even thinking about the helmet blocking his face and felt silly. She couldn’t see his face but he could look at her whenever he wanted, bask in her beauty and warmth. 
“So, where are we going now?”
When she had been showering, Din had left Arvala-7 and put the Crest into hyperdrive. He had something that he wanted to do. Something he felt he needed to do. “Navarro.”
Her eyebrows scrunched up a little, in a way that Din adored. “Why Navarro?”
“I have something I have to do there. It will just be a quick stop.” He hoped his answer left little room for questions or further conversation and was content when she nodded and walked closer to him. 
“Okay.” She paused, looking over at the sleeping child and smiled at the sight. Din loved seeing her with the kid. She was tough but with the kid, she was so maternal. He could see how much they loved each other. It made him so happy that the kid had someone else beside him, someone who he could look at as a mother. “I should probably get him to bed.”
“Yeah. You need some sleep too. You worked hard today.”
“It was honestly kind of nice, working on the ship. Felt like the old days a little.” Her gaze drifted back to him, a warm smile still on her face. “Din, I just wanted to say-” She paused, seeming to fumble for words but he stopped her.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Din saw her turn, arms reaching out for the child when she suddenly dropped them and turned around. She stood in front of Din, looking down at his helmet which was tilted up at her. She paused before slowly lowering her head down, laying her forehead against his helmet with eyes closed. Din could tell she was shaking a little but he just reached forward and grabbed her wrist. His thumb drew small circles.
Din was pretty certain that she didn’t know what a keldabe kiss was or the importance of it. As far as he was aware, she had a very limited knowledge of Mandalorians and was always willing to learn. But her not being aware of how monumental this moment was for Din was almost even better. The fact that she was making him feel so cherished without realizing showed how good of a person she truly was.
She eventually pulled away with a shy smile and Din dropped her wrist lightly. She turned around, grabbing the bundle the child was in, and turned towards him one last time. “Goodnight, Din.”
“Goodnight, sweet one.”
Din watched as she walked away with the kid in her arms, going down to the hull of the Crest. And that was when he realized something.
This must be what falling in love feels like. 
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