#the cycle of dread continues
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happy birthday quest blooming panic what a lovely day it is indeed. was i awake at ungodly hours trying to come up with an idea that i would be able to write into a half decent birthday fic? maybe, maybe not you'll never know yes i was. anyway my internet was trying to fight me all week so it's been a Time trying to finish this on time but it was worth it bc quest beloved deserves a happy birthday and a happy birthday ONLY. if i see any angst today it's on sight. see u next month for xyx gamers. hopefully my internet won't hate me by then lmao.
Quest shifted under the covers, finally waking from a night of comfortable sleep. The curtains were still closed and the room still dim enough that he could have easily fallen back asleep for another hour or two, though his work schedule would certainly hinder those plans. Quest rolled over, eyes closed again as he reached to pull you in close to his chest. Only, as his arm came down on the spot you always slept in, he was met with empty space. The sheets still held the faintest lingering warmth but you were decidedly not there. Quest sat up, the heel of his hand rubbing the last remnants of sleep from his eyes before finding his glasses so that he might discover where you had gone. It wasn't rare for you to wake up first, but you almost always waited until he had woken too. Or, if you had to leave, then you'd at least wake him up with a soft and sleepy kiss goodbye. It was a tradition he felt almost lost without as he rose from the inviting warmth of the bed in search of you. Last night you'd mentioned needing to run a few errands in the morning but would you really have left so early? Or without telling Quest? It wasn't that he disliked you leaving without him knowing, but rather that he would have wanted to go with you.
In the time since you and Quest had moved in together, he dearly treasured any outing you took as a couple; no matter how mundane or boring the task might seem, Quest found it all so incredibly domestic and he adored spending that time with you. As he sleepily explored your shared home, calling out your name in his husky morning voice, Quest began to grow more and more concerned. Realistically, he knew you'd probably just headed out to run some errands but that semblance of logic did little to quell his unease. However, instead of opting to let those thoughts fester, Quest continued with his morning routine and brewed himself a coffee. If anything, it'd serve to wake him up a little and steal away the aching tiredness that still dwelled in his eyes. As he manouevered about the kitchen, Quest's eyes found the calendar that hung beneath the clock on the kitchen wall. His birthday. Every year it came around and still managed to take him by surprise. His birthday was never really an event that Quest waited in anticipation for, particularly in his adult years—he barely even remembered the last time he celebrated it. Though he certainly remembered the gentle scolding you gave him the previous year when he accidentally let slip that it was his birthday. He hadn't hidden the fact intentionally but the thought to share it simply hadn't crossed his mind, a result of his own lacklustre views on the so-called 'special' day.
This was to be his first birthday since moving in together—and also the first one that you were aware of. A thought flashed in Quest's mind that perhaps the reason you'd snuck out so early was because you were planning something for his birthday. Neither one of you had discussed potential plans so Quest naturally assumed the day would pass by fairly uneventfully. It would’ve been nice to celebrate, of course, but he hadn’t dwelled on the thought long enough to consider asking what plans you might want to make. As Quest leaned against the kitchen counter taking his first sip of coffee, he heard the sound of the front door unlocking and you arriving home. Within moments you were in the kitchen, a pleasantly surprised look on your face to see Quest awake and about.
"Hello, you." You hadn't yet shrugged off your coat as you bounced over to Quest, nose tinted pink from the biting chill of the morning air.
Quest slid a mug towards you, prepared exactly how you liked it as you came up beside him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Happy birthday, love. Thought you'd still be in bed by the time I got back."
"Not worth having a lie in without you there," Quest hummed, taking another sip of coffee. "Where did you run off to, anyway?"
You spared a quick glance toward the front door of the apartment before noting Quest's poor attempts to hide his avid curiosity. "I was hoping you'd still be asleep so I could make the surprise more exciting but I guess this will do. Go sit on the sofa and close your eyes. And keep 'em closed. No peeking or no present."
"Being with you is enough of a gift for me," Quest teased, his hands reaching for your waist while you playfully tried to push him away.
"You are disgustingly cute sometimes. But also I hate it." Despite your words, you relinquished to Quest's hold on you, relishing in the warmth of his bare chest on your cheek. The two of you stayed there, suspended in time, until the anticipation of seeing Quest's reaction to his birthday gift overcame you. "There's plenty of time for birthday cuddles later. For now, ass on couch and eyes closed."
Quest chuckled, amused by your impatience but he listened to your instruction this time around, planting himself down and closing his eyes. There was a hint of temptation to open an eye just to see how you might react but he decided against it, feeling your eyes scrutising him for a sign of disobedience. Satisifed that he wouldn't sneak a glance, you headed back to the front door where you had left Quest's birthday present—the most important of them anyway. You had some smaller gifts hidden away in your wardrobe but those could wait until later. You had a strong suspicion that Quest might care for this one a little more.
"Okay, open your eyes in 3, 2, 1."
Quest's eyes opened, adjusting to the light once more as he looked for a change in the scenery. At his confusion, you told him to look by his feet. Sniffing the floor by Quest's feet was a small labrador puppy, a bright golden colour as it explored all the new sights and sounds.
"You didn't," Quest said, disbelief and surprise all over his features.
"I did." You grinned at Quest as he reached down to pick up the puppy, now excitedly greeting its new father. "You're always saying how you'd love to get a dog someday so I thought it was about time to grant that wish."
Quest smiled at you as the puppy bounded off to explore the apartment, paws skittering along the floors. His hands sought out yours, fingers intertwining and interlocking as he blinked away the tears that collected in the corners of his eyes. "Have I ever told you that you're a literal angel?"
"Once or twice," you laughed as Quest pulled you onto his lap, arms enveloping your body as he buried his face into the crook of your shoulder, leaving a smattering of kisses on the skin.
"Well I'll say it again. You're an angel. What did I do to deserve you?"
"None of that," you reprimanded, pulling back from his grasp and taking his face in your hands. "You are deserving of it all. But we should probably go find our new baby. Before they get to your gifts before you can." You moved from your spot in front of Quest, hands finding his as though there were magnets, or a string binding the two of you together; wherever one went, the other was assured to follow no matter the physical distance that may emerge between them. Whatever plans Quest had been expecting, this was so far removed from how he'd thought the day might go. But he could not have felt more loved than in this moment. If Quest could bottle any emotion, it would be this one: pure, unadulterated adoration and appreciation for all that you were. Quest couldn't imagine a life without you in it—didn't want to imagine such an existence. Before he had met you, Quest was merely drifting through life. Sure, he had plenty of nice memories from his time in the server, but he hadn't felt like he was truly living until that fateful day you made your way into his life. Since then, Quest felt as though he was finally seeing in colour, finally experiencing life and all its wonders as they should be experienced. And, as he watched you laughing as the small puppy came bounding into your arms, Quest knew this was the exact brand of happiness that he would never let slip from his grasp. So with all the love in his eyes, he came to your side where he strived to be for as long as he lived.
#blooming panic#blooming panic x reader#blooming panic fanfic#blooming panic quest#blooming panic quest x reader#another birthday comes and goes and the birthday fic tradition continues#i am looking at october and eventual xyx birthday writing#the cycle of dread continues#will i be able to think of an idea and write it or will my brain decide to break and give me nothing#tune in next month to find out#what is creativity what is inspiration who am i what kind of mess is my tumblr#anyway#mars writes
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#ah yes the cycle of favorite child continues#it’s not easy seeing all the dread wolf business#it’s funny because everyone likes both games#bioware#dragon age#mass effect#has this been done already
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moodboard: you just finished dairanger
#the battle never ends it'll keep going for eternity and there's nothing they can do#as long as there is good there will be evil#it's bittersweet that the team stays in touch over 50 years and are still great friends but then they watch their grandchildren fight as#dairangers in this new era and the cycle will never end#they are hopeful for the future and believe in there children but there's a lingering sense of dread over the thought that no matter how#hard they fight the cycle will continue#anyways i really liked this one and i think it might be one of my favorites from early heisei and pretty high up for me in general#i really liked every team member and i loved their group dynamic and again i love that they are friends the rest of their lives#dairanger lb#super sentai lb#umbrella.thoughts#umbrella.posts#next on the agenda will probably be kakuranger
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i am going to die alone 🤣
#/neg#im so sick of pretending im okay#everybody is pretending to love me#i do not deserve friends#everyone is gonna leave me#i miss back in july when everything was okay#my life is slowly shattering and nothings gonna get better#its an endless cycle of neverending pain#i wanna live my life instead of continuously dreading whats ahead of me#vent#dont reblog
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it's so frustrating living with misophonia especially when the person that is causing the sound you hate, is aware you don't like hearing it and still do it. :) for me, i immensely dislike tv volume higher than usual range when no one is watching the tv. just turn it off it's not that hard lmaooo
#mel 废话时刻#i have made efforts to communicate civilly and politely but i either get shouted at or they make a childish retort#so now if said person has tv set to their own channel i either camp in my room w/ mp3 or just suffer#the only time they would turn it down is if someone needs it down bc studying or whatever like ?#they always watch news and some ancient ass misogynistic movies so i've developed a strong negative sense of feeling towards these stuff#idrc abt the news actually i am doing very bad i don't need more bad vibes#oh and like our walls are not soundproof so i can still hear it from very far#or like maybe it's not playing but i still hear the sounds subconsciously with feelings of fear and anxiety#sooo i have a very short temper since they also say things that aggravate me#idk maybe you respect me first and i wouldn't be so rude#说我没尊重你 但你也没尊重我 用你脑去想吧#also rlly hate when the sound effects just go drastically loud like omg stfu this is not a movie.#i slept at 8 bc es event last day today i sleep at 6#which is the usual timing last time i slept at 4#it's so hard to actually wake up now since i have no obligations too#plus i keep feeling a sense of dread so i just continue lying down#i am trying to be disciplined and have a normal sleep cycle#i wish the pay for working on weekends and holidays were better like um hiiii wdym everyone else enjoys their rest days while i'm suffering#am i a joke to u
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Still annoying how, when I think something the beings don’t want me to think, retarded shit happens due to it
Like how I was sitting here a few mins ago and the lightbulb kept flickering because I kept being/feeling a state of emotion that was making the beings/my brain uncomfortable/unhappy, so one of the lightbulbs ( there are three ) just went out. It didn’t make a noise, it just stopped shining
Bruh, I fucking hate all of this spiritual/non-spiritual/etc bullshit
Ofc they’re real to a point, still doesn’t make it less annoying or retarded that it happens ( to me, to a point )
#vent#tw vent#vent 11/20/22#tw existential angst#tw existential bullshit#tw existential dread#tw existential crisis#tw r slur#r slur#r slur mention#bruh. like they/I/others/etc just won’t quit#leave me you them etc alone ( maybe?? idk ). at least let me fucking erase myself because I’m tired of all this#spiritual/non-spiritual/other etc bullshit. I’m so goddamned tired of these stupid ass cycles/cycle-breaking/continuing/breaking/saving/#resetting/erasing/etc mix all none what#tw simulation#tw unreality#just fucking let me be erased. but no even that won’t work because our asses just fuck it anyways. because.. stuff or what#and it’s not just lights that get affected when I do that/they do that. the internet does it too. because whatever stupid garbage(s
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~ Mafia!Stucky Mastlist⍟✪ 📚~
Hello lovely, I hope you’re having a great day. I thought it was about time I made a list dedicated to my favourite boys, so welcome to my Mafia!Stucky masterlit!I love to write in my spare time, and the fiction I create is for 18+ readers ONLY. Also, everything is character x fem!reader, and please, read the tags carefully before continuing.
Masterlists ♥ A03 ♥ Tags ♥ Question? ♥ latest works ♥
you're mine
(smut, angst, dark)
Steve loves showing off what’s his, you. What does eh do when he sees someone staring at what is his?
i need more
(fluff, smut)
You’d been off all day and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Steve. He’d do anything to make you feel better so when you started begging him to help you have some release, he didn’t hold back.
ruined orgasm - kinktober
(smut)
He had given you one rule: do not interrupt the meeting. So, of course you had to walk straight into the meeting that had all of America’s most noterious gangsters
steve's birthday wish (P.1)
(fluff, smut, angst)
It was approaching Steve’s birthday and you had no idea what to get him. Bucky suggests just asking the Mafia boss what he would like, but would you regret your decision when you hear what Steve truly wants.
When Two Become Three (P.2)
(fluff, smut)
It has been a few weeks since Steve sat back and watched your be pleasured by his best friend Bucky, and you couldn’t stop thinking about it. Especially, the part where Steve confessed his fantasy to have a threesome, but would you ever agree to it?
one more meeting
(fluff, smut, angst, dark)
For all of the years that you had known Steve and Bucky, you had never seen them lose control of their anger. All of the murder and violence always being calculated, calm, and dangerous. But today, that all changed and for the first time in years, you were truly scared of the boys you loved.
repeat after me(fluff, smut, angst)
It wasn’t often that you had to attend a party with your boyfriends but today, you found yourself at one, filling you with anxiety and dread. How will the boys react when they find you close to a panic attack and starting to doubt their love for you?
how many?(fluff, smut)
Steve had finally found time to take you and Bucky on holiday. What he doesn’t tell you however is that today, he wanted to see just how many times he and Bucky could get you to orgasm.
i can’t lose you
(fluff, smut, angst, dark)
Being the girlfriend of the Mafia leader and his second in command had its dangers but for years, you'd never had to experience this. Until now. How will the boys react when you're put in danger?
no touching
(fluff, smut, angst)
You blatantly ignored their instructions and now you had to suffer the repercussions for your actions.
i don’t care
(fluff, smut)
'The reader having a menstrual cycle, this one just a little worse than others, and Steve and Bucky worrying and helping her through it.'
the one weakness
(fluff, smut, angst)
It wasn't often you were by yourself so when you quickly go to the coffee shop, what happens when the enemy is watching and waiting nearby.
overwhelming
(fluff)
It had been your birthday a few days ago and both Steve and Bucky had made it their mission to give you the most lavish party followed by intense, long nighttime activities. However as you lay in bed on Monday morning, something just didn't feel quite right.
the fun game
(fluff, smut)
Steve and Bucky had forgotten about your date, leaving you waiting for two hours in the restaurant. How will they react when you decide to play your own little game as payback and, how far can you go before they finally snap?
harder, please
(fluff, smut, angst)
Your mind was clouded with lust and pleasure, as you begged repeatedly for more from Bucky but, what happens when you get hurt in the process?
protect and forget
(fluff, smut, angst)
Life as the girlfriend of the Mafia boss and his second-in-command was not always smooth sailing, everything did not always go to plan. Two weeks before your birthday, a threat was made to your life. What happens when Steve and Bucky begin to push you away as they search for the threat?
All Eyes On You
(smut)
“Do you know what we would have done if we had turned up to that restaurant and seen you all dolled up like that? We would have bent you over the table in front of everyone and shown them exactly who you belonged to". - Steve Rogers
you belong to me
(fluff, smut, angst)
These girls knew you were dating Steve and Bucky, so why is it that they thought it was ok to have their hands all over them?
dont fall asleep
(fluff, smut, angst)
It was supposed to be a normal day, but not in fate's eyes as you and Sam are hit by a drunk driver. How will Steve and Bucky react when they hear their girls been hurt?
rule number one.
(fluff, smut, angst)
It was Bucky's birthday but even a surprise party won't stop Steve and Bucky from punishing you for not looking after yourself.
Last Hope (CH. 1) (CH. 2)
(fluff, smut, angst, dark)
Before dating Steve and Bucky, your life felt like a steel cage that you couldn't escape from because of your family business. There was no happiness or hope but, what happens when the infamously heartless mafia leader, Steve Rogers, finds you alone?
our little bean
(fluff, angst)
You stared unblinking at the Doctor who had just told you the news you couldn't quite comprehend. You were on birth control, so why is the test in his hands saying that you're pregnant? Accidents happened but is this a happy one? (Yes it is).
the limit
(fluff, smut, angst)
Everyone has a limit, this includes Steve and Bucky. What happens in different situations where each of you felt compelled to use your safewords?
sick day
(fluff)
Bucky had warned you that dancing in that rain without a coat would lead you to be ill, maybe you should have listened more to his warning.
accident’s happen
(fluff, smut, angst)
You were visiting a friend when you were accidentally hit in the face, leaving behind a cut across your cheekbone. How will Steve and Bucky react when they see their girl injured?
everyone is breakable
(fluff, smut, angst)
Steve and Bucky were invincible in your eyes. They'd never been injured or in a situation where you thought they weren't the ones in control. That is until one day Bucky doesn't return from meeting with a client.
winter soup
(fluff, smut, angst)
There was no better feeling than a bowl of hot soup when you're feeling unwell and, what's even better is when it's delivered to your door every day by your new guard. It tasted amazing and you could always trust everyone in the Mafia... right?
something new
(smut)
The mafia leader was known to be possessive and enjoy showing off his girl but what happens when he wants to do this by being intimate in front of his gang?
pegging - kinktober
(smut)
Steve had once instructed bucky how to pleasure you but what happens when you’re the one being given the instructions?
cockwarming - kinktober
(smut)
You’re feeling needy and restless so Steve offers you something to suck on, much to Bucky’s amusement.
double penetration in one hole - kinktober
(smut)
You were adament to prove Steve wrong and do something you’ve never done before.
fear play - kinktober
(smut, dark)
You woke up to darkness, your phone was missing and, all you could was silence echoing around the house but, you knew you weren’t alone.
role reversal - kinktober
(smut)
For once, you were the one shouting at the enemy, demanding that they leave your office. Steve and Bucky were in awe so you tried to keep up this confidence and burn off some energy with them.
Duke, Duchess and Knights
(fluff, angst)
You get so lost in the fantasy dream that when it turns into a nightmare, you're not sure what reality is when you wake up screaming.
Merry Christmas
(fluff, smut)
It was a simple question: Have you been naughty or nice this year?
Safety Measures
(Angst, Smut, Fluff)
It was the anniversary of Steve and Bucky saving you from your sadistic brother. Usually, it was a time of celebration for you, but this year, you couldn't help but feel paranoid and unsafe.
Drabbles
The first to give their jacket when reader is cold
Mad & Sad moments
Saying the wrong thing
TikTok trend: no kissing
Who is more protective?
safe space in your new home
Halloween Costumes
#mafia!stucky#mafia stucky#mafia steve rogers#mafia bucky barnes#stucky#steve rogers#bucky#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#steve rogers x reader#stucky x reader#mafia au#mafia!stucky masterlist#mine*#mafia stucky masterlist#steve rogers masterlist#bucky barnes masterlist
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Can you do a twst wonderland x overworked reader? But instead of being normal and taking a break they keep pretending everything is fine despite the fact they are starting to flunk classes and forgetting lunch?
I don't really care who it is for I just need more twst wonderland stuff haha
I actually really really love this, since I've been working full time and going to college full time, overworking is NOT difficult to achieve. Remember that your grades do not determine your worth, and take care of yourself <3 thank you for this lovely request, Anon <3
Twst x Overworked!Reader
General warnings: Gender neutral, mentions of not eating and being exhausted.
featuring: Riddle, Silver, Vil, Malleus, Lilia
Intro:
Being the prefect of Ramshackle came with a plethora of responsibilities. You were practically the campus rag doll- carried around by everyone's will, solving problems, fixing issues, someone people would trust to go to in times of crisis. You were always there when a student over blot, and it was no hidden secret that you managed to do that while being at the top of the class despite being non-magic.
However, there was so much you could do, and so many smiles to hide behind. Everyone began to take notice, of the way you became snappy at others a little quicker than usual, dismissing issues with a wave of your hand and a stand-offish quick solution. It was in the way someone would ask if you were alright after noticing the dark circles under your eyes, only for you to give your signature kind smile and insist you were alright.
It was also obvious in the way that you were not found at lunch as you normally were, most students unable to find you not to realize that you were attempting to catch up on school work where you could. You could feel yourself begin to wither away, but the fear of being judged and losing the title of the smart, courageous prefect was slipping from your fingertips causing you to fall into a vicious cycle.
What do they do when they finally decide to confront you, seeing past the facade you were so clearly painting?
Riddle
It came as a complete surprise when you showed up to his dorm asking him to assist you in studying for classes. This was uncommon since he was certain you were doing incredibly well for yourself, taking note of your slowly increasingly disheveled look with every session you had set up. It wasn't until you yawned for the fifth time during a study session that he spoke up.
"Are you alright, (Y/N)? He asked, "You're distracted. You better pay attention if you wish to do better on this test, since-"
"Yes, since I practically failed the last one. Yes, I'm fine, please continue." Your interruption left Riddle surprised, raising an eyebrow and setting down his pencil.
"Are you sure you're-"
"I'm fine!" You snapped. Riddle was taken aback at this sudden outburst, a look of dread covering your features at the realization your voice had raised in a way you hadn't meant it to. You pursed your lips and looked down in shame, tears filling your eyes. You were quick to cover your face in embarrassment, shaking your head.
"I'm sorry," You mumbled a few times, each time becoming more broken as tears streamed between your fingers and you attempted to choke back sobs. You heard Riddle close his book and let out a small sigh, before standing up. You couldn't bring yourself to look at the red-haired male, for you were ashamed of yourself for lashing out in such a way when he had only meant to help.
"Come," He said. Confused, you peeked between your fingers seeing that Riddle had stood up and grabbed your hand.
"When I'm feeling overworked and sad..." He said shyly, "I secretly go to the kitchen and take a tart, or some other dessert." You raised your eyebrows, your tears slowing as you furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head. "Do not repeat that to anyone else, though. Come, I'm feeling...overworked." Biting your lower lip, you nodded and took his hand, Riddle leading you out of his room and towards the dorm kitchen. Silence filled the hall for only a minute, interrupted by your curiosity. You knew how he felt about taking tarts that were meant for unbirthday parties, much less breaking the very rules and morals he strictly maintained.
"Do you really do that?" Without looking back, Riddle replied with a smile on his lips.
"I do in this moment."
Silver
Silver has always been a sweetheart to you, being attentive to your state he'd often bring you things such as teas on occasion, however, you realized he was doing it a lot more frequently than usual.
"Here," He said to you as you let him into Ramshackle and set down an armful of items on the table, "This tea my father says is good for aching muscles. Young master and I cooked some of these foods, they are good for replenishing your energy, especially after a long arduous day of training."
"I don't do any physical training though?" You pointed out to the silver-haired male, pulling out a chair and sitting in it, resting your head upon your hands as you glanced over the goodies he had brought you.
"Well, it works a lot for when you're really tired. I eat these myself frequently, and it makes you feel a little better when you're overworked." Your eyes widened at his statement, mouth opening slightly and looking up at the tall male who only graced you with a gentle yet sad smile.
"I'm not...overworked," Overwhelmed by his gaze that only held affection, you averted your eyes and began picking at your fingers. Silver placed a hand upon yours, before pressing his forehead against your own. Your face flushed red, yet you couldn't find the energy to pull away.
"You're warm, I think you're getting sick..." You tried not to correct him in the fact you were warm in his close proximity, allowing him to do whatever he felt was needed. Silver grabbed one of the teas that lay against the table, eyeing it and looking back at you.
"This will be good for you...I'll make some. You should go get some rest, and I'll help you sort out an appropriate schedule for you."
"Silver, I-" You wanted to decline his offer, yet was interrupted by the shaking of his head and a chaste hug.
"You do so much for all of us around the campus, your bravery shows no bounds. But even the strongest of heroes need to know when they've taken on too much." Sighing in defeat, you gave in and nodded. Silver smiled in satisfaction and made his way towards the kitchen to prepare you the tea he so kindly brought for you, as your eyelids felt heavy and the weight of burden slowly eased from your shoulders.
You were going to have a wonderful night's rest for the first time in a very, very long time.
Vil
You weren't particularly in the mood for this, Vil inspecting every part of you at this moment simply by attempting to convince him you were fine.
"your skin is pale showing signs of fatigue, your muscles are untoned-"
"They're always like that."
"I am not finished," Vil folded his arms, " The skin around your nails are torn up, and you have bags under your eyes that only get that dark and puffy after a significant amount of sleep deprivation and lack of hydration. You went from the top of the exam board and plummeted to the middle," He strutted towards you, looking into your eyes with sadness.
"And worst of all, you are nowhere to be found during lunch the past two weeks, and you seem to be losing weight and have less energy."
"Thank you," you rolled your eyes, "For pointing out everything wrong with me, as if I didn't already know. I'll be fine, thank you for your concern." You went to turn away from Vil, before his strong hands turned you back around and held you into a hug, stroking your hair. You were taken aback by this sudden form of affection, your arms laying flat at your sides.
"I'm fine," You repeated, mumbling into his chest where he held you firmly.
"I'm very good at spotting when someone is lying," Vil said plainly, "I can tell when someone is putting on an act. And it isn't to point out your flaws, (Y/N)," You paused at hearing your name escape his lips rather than your typical "potato" nickname he oh-so loved to attach to you.
"It's because I am worried for your health. Stop putting on an act." You felt your determination to hide your feelings crumble and tears form in your eyes, your arms trembling as you moved to give him a hesitant hug back.
"I know how hard it must be," He said with calmness and understanding in his voice, "to feel pressured to be okay. But around me, you do not need to pretend. Let me help you, as you have helped...us." He pulled away to see your tear-stained cheeks, tucking a hair behind your ear,
"As you have helped me. You do not need to struggle alone."
Malleus
"Child of man," Malleus called out to you, "Are you alright?" It was your typical meetup outside Ramshackle dorm, You sat down lazily at the garden table the two of you worked hard on, your head lay down on the table.
"I'm fine, Mal," You sighed, not looking up to see his gaze. You suddenly felt something soft wrap around your shoulders, recognizing it as His blazer. This caused you to finally raise your head, a gentle smile upon the lips of the tall black-haired fae.
"It's cold out, wouldn't you agree?" He took a seat next to you, "The flowers may wilt soon." You nodded, propping your head up with your hand.
"Sad, isn't it?" You grumbled, "they were so vibrant and colorful, and soon their leafs will wilt and turn brown. They will become weak and fall apart." Malleus eyed you curiously, noticing even in the dark the way your eyes were swollen and the frown that painted your features. Something that wasn't common to see, for you were typically so energetic to be engaging in conversation with him. He turned his gaze back to the flowers, leaning back in the chair and folding his arms.
"Yes...but when this harsh winter snow passes," He said, using green magic to grasp one of the blooms to twirl between two fingers, "Spring will come, and their vibrance will become apparent." You shifted your gaze over to him, tilting your head as his eyes lovingly inspected the flower.
"With seasons changing, so do these plants upon their own time. They will become weak and wither during the harshness of the seasons, yes, However...with the proper support..." the flower was suddenly wrapped in magical clouds, and when they dispersed the flower had grown in size and become a rose with large and healthy properties, a bright green stem and the reddest glow shining beneath the moonlight. Malleus looked back over to you with a smile, quickly de-thorning the rose and placing it behind your ear. Your eyes smiled for the first time in a while, letting out a breathy chuckle and a shake of your head. He really knew how to make his points come across without being direct, his poetic tongue becoming soothing for your tired heart.
"Thank you, Malleus."
Lilia
The ex-general fae was not unfamiliar with the signs of exhaustion and fatigue, and you were showing clear signs of such.
"Skipping lunch again, little bat?" A familiar voice called out to you, causing you to yelp in surprise, dropping your pen. How he managed to sneak inside of ramshackle dorm, much less your room, was far beyond you.
"Lilia! gosh.." You shook your head and picked your pen back up after glaring at him for startling you, shaking your head and continuing your studying endeavors.
"Playing catch up, I see? Take a break," The red eyed fae said, "I made you something~"
"No thank you, i'm fine," You quickly replied, almost panicking. Lilia pouted and pulled out a lunch box that was large and smelled...actually pretty good.
"It has many nutrients that are good for replenishing your health," He said proudly, "Seeing as you have been skipping meals, losing sleep, and your grades have been dropping presumably from your lack of self-care," He said bluntly. Your eyes widened as you looked at the fae with surprisingly good observation skills, curious how he was able to discern that information. You opened your mouth to reply that you were doing alright and that you just needed some time to catch up, however, his reflexes were far too fast for you. He pushed a spoonful of whatever food he had in his grasp, watching you with delight at your shock.
You almost choked at the suddenness, however the pleasant taste of whatever soup he had given you caused you to become almost entirely distracted.
"This...is actually really good. You didn't make it, did you?" Lilia huffed and closed his eyes with his signature look of disappointment, yet a smile not wavering from his lips.
"You wound me, but the others had convinced me the best way to help you would be by good-old chicken/veggie noodle soup!" he held out the rest of the bowl to you, pulling a seat next to you and clearing off your desk organized. You stopped protesting, for with this fae there was no getting around whatever he was doing.
"Now, take a break and allow your body some rest. You cannot learn nor function properly under these conditions. I understand how much it may mean to be accomplished, however, those accomplishments will mean nothing if you die from exhaustion," his smile never faded, yet you could tell his words were meant in seriousness as he chastised you. It was full of love and affection, though. He had the best of intentions, his ruby eyes
"Holding your issues inside is no good either, dearest. Now, confide in this old fae, perhaps I can be of assistance to your woes. And I hope this will be the last time I hear of your negligence to your health through your classmates, and next time you seek out help."
#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland fanfiction#twst fanfiction#twisted wonderland fanfic#twst fanfic#Lilia vanrouge#Lilia vanrouge x reader#Twst lilia#Malleus#Malleus x reader#twst malleus#Malleus draconia x reader#riddle rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#Silver vanrouge x reader#twst silver#twst silver x reader#twisted wonderland headcannons#twst headcannons#Vil schoenheit x raeder#Vil x reader#twst vil#twst vil x reader
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What Can't Be || Mapi León x Ingrid Engen x Reader (Part Two)
Part 1 || Part 3
Summary: You think you're in love with your ex-girlfriend, Mapi León. You also think you're in love with her current girlfriend. Both of them are your new teammates, and you must continue to bury your feelings for both women and prioritize your career... It's a little bit harder than you thought. What a mess.
Warnings: A swear word probably, a loooot of angsty pining, self-hatred, lack of sleep on the part of the Reader
Word count: 5.1k words
Your first day at Barcelona was spent in a haze of confusion and exhaustion. You’d spent most of the night restlessly rolling over and over until you’d gotten up and out of bed early, at around three in the morning.
You were two coffees into the day, and you felt like your eyes had been glued open but still fought to close. Your very being was exhausted, given that the turnover between your last match, moving homes, and attending your first training for Barcelona had been a solid three days. It probably wouldn’t have been quite as draining if you’d been able to sleep at night, but each night was much the same.
You spent much of your time trying to sleep. You’d never had very many issues with the task before, so you weren’t quite sure why you couldn’t sleep now. You blamed it due to the stress which had compounded within your life in the last few days.
“Hola!!” Someone cried out in greeting to you, and you glanced up. You wore a plain jumper and trousers, both of which you’d tugged on in the dark that morning.
“Hola.” You greeted back, trying to remind yourself not to be nearly as grumpy as you felt. You forced a kinder smile onto your face, eyes drifting up to find one of the Barcelona players walking besides you. You recognized them to be Claudia Pina, and looked around for her partner in crime. Alas, Patri was nowhere to be found.
Noticing the way you glanced around, Claudia puffed her cheeks out and gave you a cheesy grin.
“Ella tenía un interview con La Reiiiinaaaaaaa!” Claudia rolled the R in “Reina” exaggeratedly, rolling her eyes playfully. You wondered if the younger girl was always like this, happy and joyful, and naturally funny. You hardly felt like you yourself could be like that, given the pit of dread which culminated in your stomach at the prospect of having to face two specific women who’d been haunting your very thoughts the past few days.
As much as you yearned to make a great “first” impression on the Barcelona players, you could hardly think straight, both literally and metaphorically. Over the last few days, you’d attempted to get your muddled and confused thoughts in order, but found yourself unable to.
You always ended up thinking too hard about Ingrid Engens’ kind, concerned eyes or her soft fingers against your skin. Or, you were drowning in memories of your time with Mapi so, so many years ago. It was the last thing that you’d needed at the time, given how big this club transfer was to you, but you couldn’t force yourself out of this cycle of thought.
“Estás bien?” Claudia’s voice broke you out of your thoughts, which you were incredibly grateful for as the two of you began to enter the locker room. Walking down the hallway together, you nodded at the younger player.
“Yeah just… estoy en mi mente, cabeza? Stuck in my thoughts.” You didn’t know how much English Claudia knew, but you were even more unsure about your own Spanish. How one could go through a decade of Spanish teams knowing only minimal Spanish had and always would be a mystery to you.
Claudia just grinned at you, however, and you supposed that she probably knew a decent amount of English. You remembered seeing a video somewhere that focused on a day in the life with Mapi and… Ingrid. You’d never watched the video for obvious reasons, but you’d seen a few snippets of it on various apps.
Just like that, your mind was stuck on the way that the two communicated. You remembered hearing Ingrids’ accented English and Mapi’s Spanish, responding to each other in a flurry of different languages. It reminded you of the way that you and Mapi had communicated when you had dated, with you understanding the Spanish that Mapi spoke but responding back in English. The thought made you insanely jealous, but dread washed over you as you couldn’t figure out which girl you were jealous of.
It should have been easy. You should have wanted to be Ingrid, right? Because you had dated Mapi in the past, and you’d be lying if you said that feelings were not still there for the Spanish defender. However, your thoughts always seemed to catch on Ingrids’ hands and eyes and… the way she’d spoken to you, calm and collected when you were everything but. You were confused.
Walking into the locker room with Claudia didn’t help that confusion. Most of the team was already there, and many of the girls greeted you and Claudia by name. You did your best to acknowledge each greeting with one of your own.
However, catching sight of Ingrid and Mapi talking to each other quietly by one of their cubbies in a far corner of the room caused a thick feeling of anxiety to choke the words back into your throat. You tried not to stare at the other two, but as you were shown to your cubby, your eyes drifted upward to take them in.
Both women wore their training gear, and Mapi was getting her boots on while Ingrid sat beside her. One of Ingrids’ hands had fallen onto Mapi’s knee, stroking at the freshly-healed scars there from Mapi’s most recent surgery.
The two whispered quietly back and forth, planting kisses on each others’ cheeks. They were, as it stood, the very definition of “public display of affection” but nobody on the team seemed to mind. At Real Madrid, or any of the other teams that you’d been on, you would have gotten shit from your teammates for so much as holding hands with someone you were interested in. It seemed different here, warmer and softer. It was an atmosphere which allowed these types of interactions with your significant other in a quiet locker room, a safe place to show affection and love for each other.
Moreover, it seemed more like Mapi was talking to Ingrid and the tall, black-haired woman was simply listening with a fond smile on her face. It was good to know that Mapi was still a yapper, to put it simply.
Even when the two of you had dated, Mapi had constantly had something to say. Being the quieter of the two, you’d always been more than happy to listen to Mapi’s near-constant string of commentary, jokes, and quips… it had been one of your favorite things about your ex-girlfriend. The way which she could fill even the quietest of rooms with laughs and smiles had always been such a talent of Mapi’s, and the realization that you were no longer the recipient of her words, and hadn’t been for a long time, hurt. Of course, you’d known that since you’d broken off your relationship with the other woman, but seeing the way you were replaced as her partner in ways that used to be so special to you… you swore your heart cracked painfully even more.
As Mapi’s fingers finished tying her laces, she looked up. She caught your dazed gaze, and the two of you met eyes from across the room. The glance startled you into movement, before you could get stuck in her eyes as you had with Ingrids’.
You were quick to look back down, of course, busying yourself with getting your own training gear on as you tugged your jumper over your head and replaced it with the Barcelona top that had been given to you.
When you looked up again, the two were gone. You took your time gathering your stuff together and shoving it back into your cubby. You started to walk out towards the pitch, in the direction that you’d seen the majority of your team go, before you thought better of it.
You circled back to your cubby and turned towards it, taking a deep breath and trying to center yourself as you did so. You knew that this team was important to you, and this transfer was one that you couldn’t fuck up. You realized all too well that the feelings of confusion you had towards your ex-girlfriend and her current girlfriend were ones that very well could fuck everything up, and so you fought to bury them one last time.
Then, you turned right back around. You tried to hold your head up high and expel all of the negative, exhausted energy that had held you down for the last few days. Pushing all thoughts of Mapi and her girlfriend right out of your mind with it.
Walking out onto the pitch, however, you could still feel the multiple sleepless nights weighing heavy on your shoulders.
You knew you were fucked the second that Mapi looked up at you. Your eyes meeting a second time had you blushing and turning away before you could control your reaction. Internally, you screamed. You felt like a fool, and you knew that your reaction was a noticeable one by the way you saw Mapi furrow her brows at you from across the field.
No matter how hard you tried to bury your feelings, they just kept bubbling up to the surface. You reminded yourself that what you had with Mapi was old news. What used to be, but was no longer.
It didn’t work, and your heart sat cracked in your chest as you kept your head down through the rest of the warmups in order to avoid eye contact with the woman you knew you still loved.
-----
Your mission to avoid eye contact with both Ingrid and Mapi lasted for an entire five minutes before you were paired with Ingrid for a drill.
The drill had you pressing up against a ball and trying to run in a straight line to control a ball which was kicked towards you by a third partner. Due to the fact that Mapi was still restricted due to her recent meniscus injury, she was the partner who passed the ball towards either you or Ingrid.
The three of you fell into your positions almost silently, but as you picked up the large rubber ball to place between you and the taller Norwegian, you dropped the ball. It simply slipped between your shaking fingers, and as you went to pick it up again, the ball dropped out from between your hands again as it rotated awkwardly in your grip.
Sighing exasperatedly, you stooped to try a third time, only to be intercepted by a firm arm across your chest. The arm stopped you from bending downwards, and you glanced over to meet Ingrids’ eyes.
Like during the match, you swore you could have drowned in her eyes, and cursed yourself for the way your heart stammered in your chest. You felt your throat dry up, feeling so many emotions for such a simple interaction. A combination of your lack of sleep, your small crushes on the girls, and the way that you absolutely couldn’t have those feelings for the two Barcelona players was becoming nearly overwhelming in its intensity.
You quickly redirected your gaze, backing up so that Ingrids’ arm was no longer pressed against you. If you hadn’t done that, you swore you could have crumpled right then and there. Instead, you retrained your eyes on Mapi, which wasn’t any better as the girl met your eyes with her own, seeming to have been watching you the entire time.
A part of you wanted to go up to Jona and tell him that you couldn’t do this. Even better, a part of you wanted to hightail it back to Real Madrid. You weren’t made for this– the pressure, the pain, and the extra feelings on the side. It wasn’t something that you were used to, and the usual methods that you had to cope with how you were feeling weren’t working.
Seeming to sense an impending breakdown, you felt the rubber ball pressed against your side. Ingrids’ shove nearly sent you flying, but you managed to catch your footing in time. You heard her giggle, and the sound was so much softer than you anticipated. It reminded you of the birds which had used to sit outside your home in England, chirping away as the sun rose above the horizon.
Suddenly, you felt like you would have done anything to hear the noise again. It wasn’t unlike the way you felt about Mapi talking. You would have made a fool out of yourself, traveled to the moon and back an infinite number of times, jumped and heaved mountains over your shoulders just to hear Mapi speak to you like you were more than just a stranger… or to hear Ingrid laugh.
Here you were, falling further and further for both women. You hoped, rather stupidly, that one of the girls would catch you before you fell too far.
The sound, like everything else Ingrid seemed to do, soothed your frayed nerves as a small smile returned to your face. You pushed back against Ingrid with all of your might, and that was when Mapi kicked the ball towards the two of you.
You tried to stick your foot out while also trying to maintain your balance, and ended up falling sideways. You heard someone squawk before there was a weight on top of you, and you didn’t have to open your eyes to know that it was the person who you really shouldn’t want to be on top of you.
You tried not to pay attention to the way Ingrids’ hand was splayed across your stomach, or the way she smelled like… trees, but sweet. Like tree scented candles, maybe. Instead, you forced yourself to pay attention to her bony elbow, which was digging into your ribs from how she was laying.
You grunted, trying to roll the girl off, and she allowed you to push her off with another giggle.
There it was again, the laugh that could have lit up a million dark rooms.
Ingrid got up to her knees, showing Mapi a thumbs up as the other girl had begun to make her way over to check on the both of you. Just like she’d done at the match, Ingrid offered you her hand, and you took it. Once again, you forced yourself to stop liking the way the girls’ skin felt against yours.
As you climbed back to your feet, you tripped over your own laces and stumbled. You expected yourself to fall right back down to the ground, but were instead met with two steadying hands on your shoulders.
“I do not remember you being this clumsy.” Mapi said to you, and you tried not to look at her. You caught the barest of glimpses of her face, the small scar in her eyebrows that you did not recall her having when you’d dated. Her brown eyes, which held the slightest bit of concern as they took you in, and her lips– tilted slightly up despite the way which she regarded you.
The way she was touching you had your mind reeling once more. Mapi’s palms were firm against your shoulders, reminding you of so many different times which she’d held you just like this. The tips of her fingers just barely brush over the skin of your arms below your sleeves, alighting all new memories which you’d buried long ago.
A blush rose to your cheeks as you registered Mapi’s words. There was nothing to them, as they were spoken rather flatly and so unlike the Mapi you knew– the one full of energy and passion, no matter what she was doing or saying. Despite that, the way Mapi nonchalantly seemed to refer to the fact that she used to know you… you tried so hard not to think about it.
Your mind, however, has always been your greatest enemy. It replayed Mapi’s words and the meaning behind them again and again, even as you stepped away from your ex-girlfriend. Your entire body screamed to step back into her space, just to hear her talk to you again, to feel her touch against your skin.
You had more self-control than that, thankfully, and turned away from them.
You were thankful for the whistle blowing, signaling the end of the drill. You saw Ingrid hold her hand out to you for a high five… or something, but a jolt of nerves overcame you. You were afraid of what you were feeling towards Ingrid, someone who you certainly should not have been feeling anything for. On top of that, despite how cold and neutral Mapi was towards you, you felt the same kind of attraction towards the Spaniard as you did for the Norwegian.
As you continued through the training session, several things plagued your mind– Ingrid’s laugh, Mapi’s words, and memories of Mapi’s touch, as well as Ingrids’ hand against your abdomen. Your mind was quickly spiraling, faster than you could control it.
By the time the day was done, you were ready to go home and try to go to sleep early. You were, however, stopped by your captain in Alexia Putellas before you could leave.
“Tenemos… we have team bonding tonight. I will send you the address and information, vale?” Alexia had blocked you from leaving the locker room with her body standing in front of the door. The way which she had positioned herself, combined with the way she looked at you as though you were some caged animal made you feel as though she knew more about how you were feeling than you were ready to admit.
Instead of verbally responding, you nodded. Alexia looked like she wanted to say more, but instead awkwardly moved to the side. You brushed against her, but felt nothing like you had for Ingrid or Mapi. You knew that it was a good thing that you didn’t have feelings for your Captain, but a part of you was still… disappointed.
A part of you had hoped that you could blame your attraction to Ingrid and Mapi’s touches to the fact that you hadn’t been touched or comforted in a long time. The fact that you didn’t want to curl up in Alexia’s arms from the barest of touches had you feeling… wound up, almost. You were incredibly frustrated, because you knew you couldn’t find the relief that your body yearned for in another person who would be so much easier to confide in.
As you made your way out of the locker room, your mind continued to reel and ponder the thoughts which had kept you sleepless for days.
Mapi and Ingrid watched you leave, the barest of frowns on their faces. They had noticed how you’d been acting– first, at the match, and now at your first practice. It had been Mapi who had pointed out the way that you leaned into Ingrids’ touch, and the way that you seemed to avoid eye contact. The Spanish woman had noted the black eye bags which deepened below your eyes, and the way that your shoulders sagged.
Ingrid had noticed it, too, and both girls felt helpless. They’d discussed Mapi’s relationship with you prior to you joining the team, and had come to the agreement that they would act professionally towards you. Mapi couldn’t discard the anger that she felt towards you now, even years after the two of you had broken up.
You’d been her first love, and when you’d broken up with her to be with someone else, Mapi had been torn in half for years. Even more so when she realized that you’d been cheating on her.
Ingrid had helped fix the parts that Mapi had never trusted anybody else with after you, and Mapi was incredibly reluctant to allow you back in.
Even so, neither girl could get the way that you were acting around them out of their heads. You were acting strange, and while Ingrid didn’t want to bring it up with Mapi due to the fact that the girl was still hurt over you, she felt like you needed help.
Both girls were confined to simply watching from the sidelines, aware that there was something wrong with you. What they didn’t realize, however, was that they were what was wrong with you.
-----
Two hours later found you driving to your captains’ residence for a mandatory team bonding movie night.
You were all too aware of the fact that you were late to the event, having been unable to decide what to wear. You wanted to look nice– for Ingrid and Mapi… and the rest of the team, of course, to make a good first impression on them outside of training.
However, you continually shrugged off each article of clothing that you put on. Each piece was either too formal for a movie night, too informal, too baggy, too tight… nothing was making you feel like you needed to feel.
Finally, after half an hour spent debating, you settled on a Barcelona team hoodie which you’d received that morning and a pair of plain black shorts. You slid a pair of socks and sandals on, a style which you refused to drop despite many of your friends making fun of you for it. Then, you were out the door, jogging towards your car in the parking garage as you realized you should have been at your captains’ house five minutes ago.
You hummed along to whatever Spanish song was playing on the radio, as you couldn’t be bothered to waste time by connecting your phone to the bluetooth speaker of the vehicle. Your thumbs tabbed nervously against the leather of the cars’ steering wheel, and you tried not to think about how nervous you were.
You tried especially hard to not think about who was making you so nervous.
The minute that Alexia’s door was opened for you, however, you caught sight of the two girls who were, by this point, living in your head rent free. Really, you should have considered asking them for money for the way that they were in your mind most of the time.
Faintly, you registered the sound of Alexia shutting her front door behind you. Then, you felt her hand on one of your shoulders as she ushered you further into her home. Mapi and Ingrid’s gazes both tracked up to you, but as soon as they were looking at you, your gaze looked away.
You shuffled awkwardly towards the rest of the team, your gaze almost panicked in the way that it was trying to find a place for you to sit down.
You’d never been so jumpy or nervous around other people before. Now, however, you felt like a fish out of water with the way you were struggling in front of these strangers. You could usually fit into any crowd like a glove, but were struggling to do so now, when it mattered to you and your career. You figured it was due to the tension between Mapi, Ingrid, and yourself.
Your hands tapped nervously at your sides, fingers shaky. Your nervousness was obvious to everyone in the room, and each girl ached to comfort you. However, due to the fact that you were new and none of the girls really knew you, they didn’t know how.
Slowly, Mapi shifted over. The way you looked– so small and exhausted, was unlike the person she was used to seeing from you. She wanted to help you, despite the fact that she still held a grudge against you. She’d tried so, so hard to bury her feelings for you, but she couldn’t help but still care for you.
She still noticed the small things that had made her fall in love with you in the first place. Your kind eyes, and your smile, as well as the way you always checked in on the people around you. You were always keeping an eye out for your teammates, your friends, and your family, and you had a passion about you and a stubbornness that reminded Mapi so much of her own.
Before Mapi could think better of it, she was raising her hand for you to sit in the space that she’d cleared for you– a small space between her and Ingrid. If you sat there, it would mean that you’d be squished between your ex-girlfriend and your current girlfriend.
Ingrid tried not to let the surprise show on her face as Mapi moved and beckoned you to come sit between them. She watched your face carefully, however, and surveyed the nervous expression on your face. So many emotions flitted across your facial features– surprise, confusion, and an emotion that she couldn’t really recognize.
You were conflicted, trying to figure out whether you physically and emotionally could sit between the girls. You knew what their touch did to you, and you felt like they would simply overwhelm you if you went to them. On the other hand, the space between them was the only one available, and you didn’t want to turn Mapi’s kind gesture down.
You began to make your way over, all-too-aware of the way your nerves heightened as you stepped closer to the couple. Suddenly, though, someone grabbed at your ankle, nearly tripping you.
You looked down and nearly screamed in relief as you recognized your England Lionesses’ teammates. Lucy and Keira were bundled up in a blanket on the ground, sharing a bowl of popcorn between them.
You didn’t think either girl knew about your history with Mapi, but you knew Keira could sense your nerves in the way she was looking at you. It was similar to the way Alexia had treated you earlier– like a wild animal.
Keira patted the seat beside her, going so far as to lift the edge of the blanket for you to scoot in. Gratefully, you sat down beside her, not daring to risk looking behind you.
If you had, you would have seen the way Mapi frowned at you. The Spanish woman had, despite herself, wanted to sit next to you and Ingrid. She didn’t know why, but she felt like it was right, and a part of you missed your touch… your presence, actually.
When you’d smiled at Ingrid earlier, Mapi had been insanely jealous.
At first, she thought she’d been jealous of you, because she’d always been rather protective of Ingrid. However, Mapi later realized that she’d been jealous of Ingrid. The older woman knew that she still had feelings for you, of course, but she was slowly beginning to realize that she had feelings for both Ingrid and you, which was sending her into a downward spiral of confusion.
Ingrid, too, was in a similar position to you and Mapi. She had yet to broach the topic with her girlfriend but, as she watched Mapi look at you, she realized that she would have to talk to Mapi sooner rather than later. She recognized the emotion that she’d seen on your face only moments ago, because it was now on Mapi’s face and, more than likely, on her own.
Love. No matter how shallow the feeling, Ingrid could recognize the flickering emotion within her heart– a shy nervousness that impacted her whenever she interacted with you, or Mapi.
You were unaware of the conflicted thoughts that the couple was going through behind you, however. As soon as Keira wrapped her spare arm around your shoulders, you rested your head against the girls’ chest. You and Keira had always been close on your national teams, having played together for a very long time and had similar personalities that allowed you to understand each other.
You felt safe enough in her arms, and that safety allowed you to fall asleep for the first time in longer than you cared to admit. As soon as Keira realized that your breaths had turned deep and that you’d become limp against her, Keira refused to move.
She’d recognized your exhaustion during practice and wanted you to sleep as much as possible.
For an hour and a half, you slept fully and contentedly against one of your best friends’ shoulders. For an hour and a half, your thoughts were cleared of anything related to a certain Spanish or Norwegian woman. For an hour and a half, you knew peace.
Then, you woke up to Mapi shaking you awake. The girl was gentle with her grip, and you were confused for a moment. Your hand raised before you could think better of the motion, and you slapped her hand away.
Mapi backed up a step, her face speaking volumes for how hurt she was by the action. You saw pain behind her expression, and you felt instant regret for the way which you’d shoved her away. You could barely stand to be touched by the woman that you couldn’t have, because she made you feel things that you hadn’t felt for years.
Her girlfriend behind her gently took her hand, drawing her close to her. Ingrid looked at you over her shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. She didn’t look angry, just confused and concerned, but she didn’t speak as she and Mapi walked away from your bundled form on the floor.
You had half a mind to get up and run after them. You yearned to scream your feelings for them out loud, just to get them out of your head.
You realized how ridiculous the idea was as soon as you thought of it. Instead, you were sentenced to watching the couple walk away from you, aching to comfort them and aching for them to comfort you.
As it was, you weren’t apart of their relationship, and you knew that you didn’t deserve the comfort that you ached for. As the door shut behind them, you tried to blink away the tears which threatened to spill out of your eyes, dismissing yourself as well.
You quickly got up, leaving the room to find Alexia’s bathroom. There, you rapidly splashed cold water on your face to try to break yourself out of the reverie you were in.
It did nothing but shock your system and, as you rested your forearms against the white porcelain of Alexia’s bathroom sink, your eyes observed your exhausted form in the mirror.
There you’d gone, breaking the promise that you’d made to yourself– the promise you’d made to get rid of the feelings you’d had for the couple.
As a tear flitted down your pale cheek, you wondered if ignoring your feelings would be the end of you. However, you reminded yourself that you would only make things worse by having feelings for the pair.
You had to keep your promise, even if it meant feeling nothing at all ever again.
#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso imagines#mapi leon x reader#ingrid engen x reader#ingrid engen x mapi leon x reader#harper writes
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-`♡´- ANON ASK -`♡´-
Anon requested that the ask be posted after the fic.
Pairings: SImon Riley x GN!Reader
Warnings: Angst.
As the days passed by, your once perfect relationship with Simon began to fracture. It seemed as though the idyllic days you once shared were slipping away, replaced by a constant tension that hung heavy in the air.
The source of the arguments seems to stem from your "nagging," as Simon puts it. But to you, it's an expression of love and fear - a desperate attempt to hold onto something precious in a world where loss and danger lurk around every corner.
From the beginning, you both understood the risks in your line of work, but it's only recently that the reality of those risks has begun to weigh heavily on your heart.
You've voiced your fears to Simon, your desire to retire together and find solace in a life far removed from the dangers of combat. But each time you broach the subject, Simon's reaction is the same - cold, defensive, and laced with hurtful words that cut deep. It's a cycle that plays out time and time again: he pushes you away with his sharp words, only to come crawling back the next day, remorseful and apologetic.
In those moments of reconciliation, he speaks to you with tenderness and warmth, promising that he's always careful on missions and that this is the life he wants. He reassures you that perhaps, in a few years' time, he could think about settling down. And each time, you find yourself giving in, desperate to believe that his words hold truth.
But as the fear and dread of losing him creep back in, the same arguments resurface, and the cycle repeats itself endlessly, leaving you trapped in a loop of hope and despair.
The tension in your life reaches a boiling point when you're summoned to the briefing room, where Captain Price lays out the details of a harrowing mission. Your heart sinks as you realize the gravity of the task at hand - infiltrating the heart of Makarov's forces, your fluency in Russian making you the only person who could do it. It's a suicide mission, with slim chances of success and even slimmer chances of survival.
As Captain Price outlines the high-risk, high-reward nature of the operation, your mind races with conflicting emotions. On one hand, success could mean a significant blow to Makarov's forces, potentially saving countless lives and shifting the tide of the war. On the other hand, the thought of risking your life - and potentially throwing away any chance of a future with Simon - fills you with fear.
You weigh the options carefully, torn between duty and personal desire. The stakes couldn't be higher, and the choice before you feels like a cruel test of loyalty and sacrifice. As you leave the briefing room, the weight of the decision hangs heavy on your shoulders, uncertainty clouding your thoughts as you grapple with the choice before you.
You step into your shared apartment, the weight of the impending conversation heavy on your shoulders. Simon is seated on the couch, absorbed in the television. With a heavy sigh, you make your way over and take a seat next to him, steeling yourself for what's to come.
"We need to talk, Si,"
Simon sighs and reaches to turn off the TV, a resigned expression crossing his features. "Here we go again," he mutters under his breath.
Your heart sinks at his dismissive tone, but you push forward nonetheless. “Price gave me a solo mission,” you watch his reaction closely.
Simon quirks a brow but remains silent, prompting you to continue. “He wants me to infiltrate Makarov's forces,”
“Sounds risky,” Simon comments, his tone neutral as he leans back on the couch, crossing his arms. You take a deep breath, "It's a suicide mission," you confess, locking eyes with him, searching for any sign of understanding or concern.
Silence hangs in the air as you wait for his response, “When do you leave?” he asks, his response devoid of the emotion you had hoped for.
Does he even hear you? Does he even care?
“Did you hear what I said? It’s a suicide mission. Do you even care Simon?” you press, desperation creeping into your voice.
Simon releases a frustrated breath, irritation evident in his demeanor. “Of course, I fucking care, y/n. But like I've said a million times before, we chose this profession. We know the risks that come with our job. Any of our missions could easily turn into a suicide mission.”
Your heart sinks at his callous response, the weight of his words hitting you like a punch to the gut. “And if I died on a mission, would you be okay with that? With living without me? With going on with life without me?!” you challenge, tears welling in your eyes.
“Seeing how you're always fucking nagging me, yeah, maybe I’d be okay with that!” Simon's harsh words cut through you like a knife, leaving you reeling in disbelief.
Your lip quivers, and you shake your head, unable to comprehend the cruelty of his words. “You're being mean. You don’t mean that Si, I know you don’t,” you protest, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I do. I mean every fucking word,” Simon retorts, his voice rising in anger. “Do you know how easy it would be to find someone else who will give me what I want? I can never get peace when you're around. We are done, y/n. Don't bother coming home after your mission.”
The finality of his words crushes you, leaving you speechless and broken. With tears streaming down your face, you cover your mouth with your hand, muffling the sobs that threaten to escape. Simon turns on his heel and storms out of the apartment, leaving you alone in the wake of his harsh words.
With a heavy heart, you rise from the couch and make your way to your room, your mind consumed by the weight of the decision ahead. As you gather the necessities for the mission, a wave of despair washes over you.
If Simon wasn't in your life, what else did you have to live for? There had been multiple missions you had turned down in the past, knowing they were nothing but one-way trips. But now, without Simon by your side, there was nothing holding you back.
Stepping into Price’s office, you steel yourself for the conversation ahead. You inform him of your decision to go through with the mission, his surprise is evident, but he and Laswell offer words of encouragement, instilling in you a sense of hope. With your skills as an infiltrator and your Russian background, they assure you that you stand a fighting chance. After all, who would suspect one of their own?
Despite the uncertainty and the weight of the task ahead, a glimmer of hope begins to flicker within you. Within a matter of hours, you find yourself on a plane headed to Russia, the gravity of your decision weighing heavily on your mind. Simon however remains oblivious to your departure, unaware of the path you've chosen.
Back at home, he returns that night with your favorite takeout and a bouquet of flowers, his heart heavy with remorse and determination. With each step, he replays his apology in his head, rehearsing the words he's been meaning to say. He knows he's messed up, and he's desperate to make things right. He wants to change, to be a better man for you.
Simon's mind swirls with thoughts of seeking therapy, of learning to control his temper and his sharp tongue. He knows he's hurt you deeply with his words, words he never truly meant. He loves you more than anything, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to prove it. But as he steps into the house, the atmosphere is heavy with silence. The air feels cold and unwelcoming.
“Y/n?” He calls out for you, his voice tinged with concern, but there's no response.
Worry gnaws at him as he wanders through the darkened rooms, searching for any sign of you. Finally, he enters the bedroom, and his heart sinks as he sees a note lying on the bed, illuminated by the faint light filtering in through the window. With trembling hands, he picks up the note, his heart pounding in his chest as he reads your words.
Simon,
By the time you read this, I'll be on a plane to Russia. I've made the decision to go through with it, despite the risks, and I wanted you to know why.
I've heard your words echoing in my mind, the ones about finding someone else who will give you what you want, about never getting peace when I'm around. And so, I've decided to honor your wishes. Once I finish this mission, I'll find my own place, and you won't have to deal with my constant nagging anymore. Your life will finally be at peace, just as you've always wanted.
I want you to know that I've always turned down these types of missions in the past. This isn't the first time Price has offered them to me. But if I had known sooner that you didn't care whether I went on them or not, I would have gone sooner. I'm sorry for making your life so miserable, for not realizing sooner that I was the problem.
I hope that you find peace now, Simon. I hope that you find someone who can give you what you want, someone who can make you happy. You deserve that much, at least.
Take care of yourself.
Yours always, Y/n
With each word, his heart sinks deeper, the weight of your words bearing down on him with crushing force. Tears blur his vision as he reads your farewell, your words cutting through him like a knife. The realization of the pain he's caused you hits him like a tidal wave, leaving him gasping for air as guilt gnaws at his conscience.
When he reaches the part where you promise to honor his wish and stay out of his life after your mission, Simon's heart shatters into a million pieces. The thought of you willingly walking away from him, all because of his own hurtful words and actions, is almost too much to bear.
He crumples the letter in his trembling hands, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs as he struggles to come to terms with the magnitude of his mistakes. The weight of regret hangs heavy in the air as he realizes the depth of the love he's lost, the love he may never have the chance to regain if you don’t come back from the mission.
The suicide mission.
In that moment, he breaks down completely, the full weight of his actions crashing over him like a tidal wave. Seeing how much he's hurt you, how much he's pushed you away to point that you accepted the mission, shatters him to his core.
With each tear that falls, Simon's resolve crumbles, replaced by a deep and profound sense of regret. He wishes he could turn back time, take back the hurtful words he's spoken, and hold you close, promising to never let you go. But it's too late now, and all he can do is sit in silence, praying to a higher form to keep you safe, to let you come back to him alive.
The next day, Simon walked into Price’s office, his heart heavy with worry and anticipation. He needed to know more about your mission, to find any shred of information that could ease his growing anxiety.
Price informed Simon that you had landed in Russia in the early morning hours. However, he delivered the news that communication would be sparse for at least a month. They had scheduled calls planned for updates on the mission status, but they would have to wait until the designated time for you to radio in.
Simon listened intently, understanding the protocol, but inside, fear and dread gnawed at him. The thought of you out there, alone and potentially in danger, filled him with a sense of helplessness.
As the first month passed, Simon waited patiently in the room with Price, every passing minute feeling like an eternity. But as the hours stretched on, there was no sign of communication from you. No Morse code, no call, no comm. Just silence.
Panic began to set in as Simon grappled with the uncertainty of your situation. He couldn't shake the feeling of unease, the nagging worry that something had gone terribly wrong. But Price remained steadfast in his confidence, assuring Simon that these things happened often, that perhaps you hadn't found the right opportunity to relay a message.
Despite Price's reassurances, Simon couldn't shake the sense of foreboding that gripped him. With each passing day, his fear for your safety only grew stronger, overshadowing any hope he tried to hold onto. But he knew he had to stay strong, to keep faith that you would return safely from your mission.
Month after month passed, and still, there was no word from you. Simon waited patiently by the phone in the comms room center, his heart heavy with worry and uncertainty. He refused to give up on you, clinging to the hope that you would come back to him, despite Price declaring you M.I.A.
Even as Price tried to reason with him, pointing out that none of your mission objectives had been completed in the time you had been gone, Simon remained steadfast in his belief that you were still out there, somewhere, fighting to return to him.
Even as the years passed Simon couldn't bring himself to accept the possibility that you might truly be gone, vanished from his life and the world forever. The thought of living in a world without you was unbearable, and Simon couldn't bear to entertain it.
The last words he had spoken to you echoed in his mind, haunting him with their cruelty. How could he have been so callous, so blind to the pain he was causing you?
Was this fate's cruel work, forcing him to confront the consequences of his actions? Was this punishment for his harsh words, for pushing you away when he should have pulled you close? Was this what he truly wanted, to be left alone in a world without you?
But even in the depths of his despair, Simon clung to a sliver of hope, refusing to let go of the belief that you would come back to him. He would wait for you, for as long as it took, holding onto the hope that one day, you would return to him and his world would be whole again.
Anon Ask- simon x reader but they are both in the military and reader gets assigned on a suicide mission but has a choice to go or not. reader and simon fight and then they decide to go. feel free not to do this no pressure!!! but if you will dont post the ask until after to make it a little angsty surprise!
#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#cod mw3#call of duty modern warfare#cod x reader#cod modern warfare#cod fanfic#writers#cod mwii#cod mw2#simon riley call of duty#ghost simon riley#ghost cod#call of duty#cod#cod ghost#ghost call of duty#cod simon riley#simon riley x y/n#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley mw3#simon ghost riley angst#cod fanfiction#cod fandom#cod community#ghost mw2#ghost
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One More Second
Masterlist
Pairing: Best Friend Rafe! x female! reader
TW:18+, angst, domestic violence, mentions of blood, toxic relationship, trauma, cycle of abuse, hurt to comfort, I think thats it.
Summary: Rafe has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. What happens when he finds out the truth about the guy you're seeing?
Word Count:8.2k
A/N: I do not condone any of the behavior in this fic and If you are in a similar situation, I beg you to reach out and get help. Take care of yourself. ( @sweetestdesire YOU CAN STOP YELLING AT ME NOW)
You've been best friends with Rafe since kindergarten. Ever since you made him a flower crown that you insisted he wear, the two of you have been inseparable. You've even been welcomed into the family, with Ward calling you his daughter and Sarah referring to you as her sister.
So the fact that you're refusing to go out with the group for the third time in one week has Rafe standing outside your apartment. He isn't sure why you're dodging him all of a sudden, but he knows you wouldn't cut off the rest of the group just because he pissed you
He rings the doorbell for almost twenty minutes before leaving with a heavy sigh. The two of you have been through the wringer, and you've never once iced him out. It causes a nagging feeling in his gut, but he still gives you space.
He figures it has to do with your boyfriend, Everett. He's an acquaintance to Rafe; not close enough to call a friend but close enough to distrust.
Rafe tried his best to steer you away from him, but it was too late. Now you're acting like someone else entirely, and he can't help the feeling that it has to do with Everett.
The fact that Rafe hates Everett and his slimy personality has nothing to do with the fact he's spent almost your entire friendship head over heels in love with you.
You've had boyfriends before and he was always supportive regardless of his own feelings.
He may have been unnecessarily hard on them and watched them like a guard dog waiting to attack, but he'd never outwardly expressed distaste for any prior flings.
This time is different. He doesn't like the way Everett looks at you or talks to you; as if you're his property. It reached a boiling point when Everett grabbed your arm last weekend, and Rafe spoke up. That's the last time any of them have heard from you.
Now that he thinks about it, this has been coming for a while. You're steadily going out less often, and when you do you seem quiet and withdrawn. Everett is never more than a few feet from you and every time he looks at or touches you, you almost seem scared.
Rafe has mentioned it a couple of times but eventually dropped it when you snapped at him. He stared at you long and hard that night, genuinely taken aback by your behavior.
You'd never raised your voice at him like that, but he decided not to press you. Despite a suffocating feeling of dread, he let you walk away.
As he drives back home, he runs through the past few months in his mind.
He's been watching your light slowly dim as you become a hollow shell. Your once bright smile no longer reaches your eyes and your contagious laugh is timid and unrecognizable.
Every cell in his body screams at him to go to you, but he swallows the bile in his throat and keeps his distance. He has suspicions about what's really going on, but you're always so headstrong.
He doesn't think any man would ever be able to break you, and he assumes if something is ever wrong you'll tell him. That's his first mistake.
His second mistake is overlooking the way you're crying in the parking lot as Everett screams at you when he stops for a drink on the way home. He chalks it up to a nasty fight and tells himself it's none of his business.
Ultimately he knows that anything involving you will always be his business, but he doesn't want to push you further away.
So, he continues with that mindset as the weeks pass until the situation confronts him head-on.
Rafe blinks slowly as you stare up at him, and shifts back and forth.
"Y/N? I haven't heard from you in three months. Why are you on my porch in the middle of a storm at eight pm?"
Before you can answer, there's a loud crack of thunder and Rafe frowns when you nearly jump out of your skin. You've never been afraid of storms, and he can't place why you're so skittish all of a sudden.
He shifts to let you through the door when he notices you shiver, and you flash him a grateful smile.
You accept the invitation silently and wait by the door as Rafe gathers blankets and towels. He returns a moment later and wraps a throw around you, letting his arms linger around your shoulder.
What once was like home to you now feels foreign and tears sting your waterline. Your eyes dart around like a scared animal and the fact that everything is exactly the same makes your heart clench. The house and man in front of you haven't changed a bit, but you couldn't be more different.
"I hate him." You whisper, and Rafe watches you carefully.
"He's a liar and a cheater. I know he's manipulating me, and I let him. Why do I let him?" You choke, and for the life of him Rafe hasn't been able to figure out the answer to that question.
"You have a big heart and always try to see the best in people. It blinds you sometimes." He finally responds, and you blink up at him.
"Every time I try to say something he just screams and belittles me until I lose the will to fight. I don't even try anymore."
Rafe hugs you closer, letting his eyes drift shut as he embraces you in safety and tries to regulate his emotions. You're not the same Y/N that took a debate class just so you could argue with him better or that fights her own battles if a man gets too close at the bar.
"Is that why you've been avoiding everybody? Avoiding me?" He questions and the way your lip trembles is all the answer he needs.
"He's isolating you. You need to get out before it's too late."
You nod and wipe your eyes, trying to keep the fresh tears at bay.
"I know."
The squeaky pitch of your voice as you talk around the lump in your throat breaks Rafe's heart. He presses your face into his chest as he cradles you and you melt into him as sobs rip from your lungs, unable to control the violent tremors wracking through your body.
He's able to calm you down and within a couple of hours, everything seems to fall back into place. You're laughing and smiling with him just like you always have, and a dangerous glint of hope sparks in Rafe's chest.
"It's almost midnight. I should go."
Rafe tenses upon hearing your voice, and his head whips to the side to look at you.
"Go where? You know you're welcome to stay here."
There's an underlying desperation, and it sears your chest as you give him a sad smile.
"He'll be worried."
Just like that, the woman he loves is gone again. Any talk of leaving has flown out the window, and it's like you have amnesia. You seem to have forgotten what led you here to begin with, and Rafe shakes his head.
"I'll be worried."
He's practically stepping on your heels as he follows you through the house, and you stop to face him. Your hand gently cups his cheek and you give him one last lingering stare before closing the door behind you.
Rafe is trying to convince himself you'll come to your senses, but he doesn't really believe it. You're already caught in the riptide of abuse, and he knows you're more likely to drown than swim.
He fights every instinct in his body; trying his best to ignore the way he seems biologically hardwired to protect you. He would kill Everett with his bare hands if given the opportunity, but the only thing stronger than his anger is his love for you.
At the end of the day, you hold the power. If you say jump Rafe asks how high; and if you tell him to stand down, he'll follow that order.
His hand trembles as it raps against your front door. Rafe talked to you a couple more times after that night, but it's now been almost a week since he last spoke to you. He finally broke down and drove over.
He waits for a few minutes, periodically ringing your doorbell when he doesn't receive a response. His heart rate skyrockets with each passing second, and he paces back and forth a few times.
Worry clouds his judgment and he walks around the building to peer into a side window. His knuckles blanche as his nails leave crescent moon indents on the palms of his hands when he sees the state of your apartment.
What was once warm and cozy with candles he helped choose and memories sitting on every table is now a war zone. From what he can see, there's shattered glass from your favorite photo frame and some fist-shaped holes in the wall.
It seems every piece of Rafe has been erased as he scans the area. The pillow he got you of his face as a joke a couple of years ago isn't in its usual spot on the couch, and every single picture has been replaced.
Your coffee table lays on its side in the living room, the decorations that usually adorn it scattered on the rug. He doesn't even want to know what the rest of the place looks like.
Obviously, he knows your relationship with Everett is toxic but he didn't know the extent of it. You showed up a few times after that first night and confided carefully selected details, but you always insist that Everett is a nice guy and would never physically hurt you.
No matter how hard Rafe tries to convince you it won't get better and that you can't change him, you always go back.
If Everett is destroying things and punching walls, Rafe knows it's only a matter of time before he starts taking it out on you; if he hasn't already. The thought makes his stomach lurch and his heart hammers in his chest as his thoughts are consumed by the need to find you.
He hears crying inside and his eyes flutter closed as he prepares for the worst. His feet carry him back to the front door and he jiggles the knob.
"Y/N, I know you're in there. Let me in."
He sighs heavily and weighs his options. On one hand, he could just break the door down; but that would only scare you more and he doesn't want that.
On the other hand, you could be seriously hurt and unable to let him in. He runs his hand over his head in genuine distress before remembering he has the key.
He's never had to use it before; you always leave the door open for him. He quickly turns the key in the deadbolt and eases his way past the threshold.
"Y/N?"
He slowly makes his way toward your whimpers, and each step only amplifies the weight crushing his lungs. Your apartment is completely trashed and he wonders if this is an accumulation or the result of a single rage fit.
He finds you on the bathroom floor surrounded by shards of glass, and his blood runs cold.
"What has he done to you?"
His voice is barely above a whisper, yet you hear him crystal clear.
Wails rip from your throat when you see your best friend and he silently bends down to scoop you up.
"You have a lot of skin exposed and I need to check you for cuts, okay?" He assures you with a kiss to your temple.
He carries you to the living room and sets you down gently, blue eyes glossy as he starts to look you over. His hands roam your skin as he scours your body for injuries, and he glances up momentarily when you lean into his touch.
"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"
Your head shakes from side to side with a small grin and he can't help but match your expression.
"M'fine. Just missed you."
He finishes up and breathes a little easier when he sees you're unscathed, but his chest still feels like it has a boa constrictor wrapped around it.
"You have to leave. He's taking his anger out on objects because of how badly he wants to hit you. Sooner or later it won't be enough, and he will." He whispers and your throat feels like you swallowed razor blades.
"I know you think you love him, but this isn't love. I'm not trying to overstep, but I'm begging you. Please leave before it gets any worse."
You nod slowly and a few minutes later he's watching as you pace around on the patio with your phone pressed to your ear. Rafe had insisted on ending the relationship for you, but once again, what you say goes.
Everett didn't take the news well, but for almost two weeks things have been some semblance of normal.
Then it all comes crashing down.
"Who's that from?" Rafe frowns and you nearly jump out of your skin at his sudden appearance.
"Everett."
He scoffs as he stares down at the diamond necklace, but his snarky comment dies in his throat when he sees the look in your eyes.
It's one he recognizes well. It's a mixture of longing and hope; a dangerous combination that never ends well.
"Y/N…you can't seriously be considering going back."
It's a pointless question, Rafe knows this. He knew the second you uttered Everett's name that he'd already lost.
Your head tilts to the side as you blink up at him, and his heart sinks. You look sad almost; like you know this is going to hurt him but you can't stop yourself.
No words are spoken, a silent conversation between two old friends is had between teary eyes instead.
A few hours later, Rafe watches helplessly as you take your bags and leave him once again. Too many tearful apologies and promises to get help and change have happened for him to change your mind.
A month goes by with no contact. Rafe can't seem to escape the thought of you; if it's not something that reminds him of you, then it's Sarah or one of the kooks.
They've all grown concerned as well, and Rafe is dodging questions that he also wants the answers to left and right.
Rafe frowns when the doorbell rings, and slowly makes his way downstairs. No one else is awake seeing as it's almost one am, and he stalks forward on a mission when a loud knock rings out.
He rips the door open, ready to cuss out whoever woke him up, but stops cold when he sees you. Neither of you says anything, but Rafe is already caught up.
The red handprint on your cheek combined with the finger-shaped bruises on your bicep clued him in. He takes a deep breath but remains silent. The way he looks straight through you causes fresh tears to burn your waterline and your lip quivers.
Rafe prepares for the dam to break and tries to brace himself for the sight of you crying. You're his one weak spot, and seeing you upset is enough to send him to war with a smile.
"You were right."
You barely choke the words out before losing control, and Rafe catches you the second your knees give out. He wraps you in his embrace and smooths down your hair as you bawl into his shoulder.
Rafe's cheeks are hot and splotchy as his own tears fall freely while he comforts the woman that holds his heart. He sniffles as he pulls you closer, finally just wrapping your legs around his waist as he supports you.
Your body trembles against his and he swears having bleach injected into his heart would hurt less than this. This is not the fearless Y/N he loves that pushed him to conquer his fear of heights on the playground, or his stubborn best friend that practiced by his side every day of football season just to prove she could keep up with him.
"Come stay with me. Please don't go back again. You need to leave for good before I have to bury you."
It takes a second, but Rafe breathes a sigh of relief when you agree.
"Okay, I promise."
Rafe presses a kiss to your head but doesn't say anything. He wants nothing more than to believe you, but he's heard it all before.
As if he has a sixth sense, Rafe can tell you're slipping away. It's been three weeks, and the break-up blues have only worsened.
Three weeks later you're back in Everett's arms and the group watches Rafe wither away right alongside you. The dark bags under his bloodshot eyes are impossible to miss as stress and insomnia rear their ugly heads. Every night he resists the urge to go to you, staring at the ceiling and wondering if you're okay before the exhaustion consumes him.
Rafe returns home from a night out to find you barefoot on the front porch with a busted lip and reaches his breaking point. He shifts a couple of times as his keys dangle from his fingers, itching to unlock the door and let you reside for as long as you please.
Instead, he shoves his hand in his pocket and swallows thickly. He can see in the way you're nibbling your fingers that you know what's coming. You know you've taken too much and are the cause of Rafe's torment.
His eyes hold nothing but anguish as he looms over you, and he takes a second to memorize your face. Something about it feels so intimate and final.
Rafe has to force himself to speak and the words drip off his tongue like acid, leaking down to erode his heart.
"I can't keep doing this, it's killing me. I know I can't make you do anything, but he is never going to get better, bug."
You whimper at the use of his nickname for you. He'd always try to steal you from Sarah and you would always tell him to 'quit bugging you.' So one day he started calling you Bug and it stuck.
He watches your sunken eyes fill with more tears and has to pinch his leg through his pocket to keep from giving in.
"You can't change evil. I just want what's best for you, and I can't keep watching you run back to someone who breaks you every single time. If you decide you've had enough, I'm always here. But until you're ready, I need you to stop showing up here."
Every ounce of his existence is screaming for him to take it back and just surrender to doing the same dance, even if he knows how it ends. The heartbreak between the two of you is palpable as you peer up at your oldest and closest friend.
There are unspoken emotions between the two of you, a heavy sense of grief falling over you as what might have been slips further into the distance. Something about this feels more like a 'goodbye' than a 'see ya later'.
He's hoping and praying that you relent; tell him that you choose him and you'll really stay away this time. He leans into your touch when your thumb rubs over his cheekbone, and tries to commit the feeling to memory.
"It's okay, Slim Shady. I understand."
The nickname that would usually elicit an eye-roll and a smirk now does nothing but rub salt in the gaping wound. It's a moniker only you're allowed to use following an unfortunate dare in middle school.
His nose scrunches up and he tilts his head to the side, silently pleading. There's so much love and pain in his eyes, and you know he feels guilty.
You nod your head with a small grin, a reassurance that you're not mad at him for turning you away. His hand comes up to lace his fingers through your own, holding them to his cheek for just a second longer.
Another second is all he needs; that's what he tells himself each time the clock ticks. One more second and he'll be able to navigate his miserable existence without you. One more second and this won't hurt so bad. One more second, one more second, please God, just one more second.
Eventually, fate's cruel hands call the time of death on your relationship and the time runs out. Rafe nearly buckles when you finally retreat, and his entire world burns around him.
You turn to leave and Rafe holds your hand until it's forced to slip away, and his own hand stays hovered in the air where you just stood.
The second you're gone he crumples on the steps to Tannyhill.
He sits with his head in his hands with sobs ripping through him as the gravity of the situation crushes him. You're the only person Rafe has ever truly loved and trusted, and he just watched you walk away knowing there's nothing else he can do.
Having you show up on his doorstep was torture, but not having any contact is hell. He swears he's aged ten years in the span of a few weeks. It's been almost three weeks since that fateful night, and you've stayed away like he told you.
Though, it hasn't helped, and he's the most anxious he's ever been. His heart drops every time his phone goes off, scared out of his mind that it's going to be his worst nightmare realized.
He's startled out of his thoughts by Barry kicking his foot while nodding at the table.
"Yo' phones ringing homie."
It takes a second for the words to register, but once they do he leans forward and frowns at the unknown caller ID.
"Hello?"
"May I speak with Rafe Cameron?" A woman asks and his scowl deepens.
"This is him."
Barry gives him a skeptical look and he shrugs, equally confused as to what the hell this is about.
"Hi, Mr.Cameron. I'm a nurse at Kildare Memorial. We have Y/N Y/L/N here and you're listed as her emergency contact. Are you able to come in?"
Blood rushes in his ears as he processes the information, and the entire world screeches to a halt. He's brought back by the nurse calling his name and quickly assures her he's on the way.
Barry watches as he hangs up the phone and rushes outside. He follows after him and stops when he sees Rafe heaving in the yard.
Once his stomach is empty, Rafe spins around with tears falling hot and heavy.
"I tried to tell her. I tried and she didn't listen. Why didn't she listen?"
He's gnawing on the side of his thumb as he cries with his other hand on the back of his neck, and Barry steps forward.
He may not be a genius, but he's not stupid either. He knows it has something to do with you, and offers to tag along. An emotional Rafe is a stupid Rafe, and a stupid Rafe is dangerous.
The two of them take off toward the hospital with occasional glances from Barry when Rafe revs the engine or punches the steering wheel.
Rafe takes off toward the receptionist with Barry hot on his heels, and the young woman jumps when they come rushing up.
"I'm here for Y/N L/N."
It's short and to the point, and sometimes he hates how much he sounds like his father. When the woman's eyes widen and she starts rushing to get answers, he decides this is not one of those times.
She gives him a room number and he turns to face Barry.
"Text Sarah. Y/N is gonna want her."
With that, he takes off and sprints to your room. Dirty looks go ignored as the aroma of rubbing alcohol and rubber gloves whips around him; unable to care about anything other than getting to you.
He stops with his hand hovering over the doorknob, trying to brace for whatever he walks into. After taking a deep breath, he forces himself to enter and freezes.
You look so small in the large bed, and he briefly wonders if you've lost weight. You're nearly unrecognizable and Rafe doesn't know what to do.
He's known you since before he could count to one hundred, yet the person he's looking at seems like a stranger that he's intruding on. The sparkle in your eyes is gone, your loud and boisterous personality is silent and broken.
You look like you've been through hell with IVs sticking out of tender flesh, and Rafe supposes you have. There's dried blood on your nose and your eye is almost swollen shut, painted in dark purples and blues. His eyes rake over you and he notices older bruises, pale yellow and clearly in the last stages of healing.
He hears your heart monitor speed up and takes a step forward. The despair in his chest is replaced with rage when he sees Everett sitting in the chair next to the bed. This piece of shit has the nerve to do this to you and then play the role of concerned boyfriend?
His jaw clenches hard enough to break a tooth and you look up at him. He doesn't ask the question burning his tongue. Why did they call him if Everett is here? Instead, he keeps his focus on you and crosses his arms over his chest.
"What happened?" You can hear the fury bubbling just under the surface, and almost wince.
"I fell down the stairs." You murmur and he scoffs.
"Fell or was pushed?" His eyes narrow in a way that lets you know he's not buying it, and you gulp.
"Fell." You reiterate and his eyes bore into you.
He lets you squirm under his gaze for a second before leaning down. He braces his arm right above your head so his face is mere inches from yours, and holds eye contact.
You know it's not meant to intimidate you; in fact, Rafe used to do this all the time when he wanted you to really listen to him. It's a protective stance that doubles as a reminder; Rafe can have you as putty in his hands whenever he wants.
Right now you're pretty sure he's doing it to exercise dominance over Everett; almost a taunt that says 'she'll always be mine first.'
"You must fall a lot since you're covered in old bruises." He mutters and you blink up at him, suddenly forgetting about Everett a couple feet away.
"I'm clumsy."
It barely leaves your mouth before Rafe cocks his head to the side and tsks.
"We both know that's a lie."
Rafe hears a chair scraping and moves forward to shield more of your body.
"You should go."
It's not a request but rather a demand, and Rafe recognizes this. Still, he never wavers as his gaze stays locked on yours.
"Baby, tell him to leave."
You remain silent, but Rafe knows you're struggling when your hands start to tremble. His large hand comes to rest against your neck and jaw, and he presses his forehead against yours before taking a slow dramatic breath in. He holds for a moment before blowing out and waits for you to take the hint and follow along.
He nods gently with a proud grin when you start to match your breathing to his, a wordless affirmation that you're okay and safe.
"Y/N, don't piss me off right now."
You start to glance over at your boyfriend but Rafe holds your head firmly in place as he shakes his head.
"Eyes on me."
Rafe knows if you take one look at Everett you'll cave and let him manipulate you.
"Get out, Everett."
The man laughs bitterly but doesn't move an inch.
"Does it sound like I'm asking? Get the fuck out before I use your skull for batting practice."
When Everett realizes Rafe isn't joking, he scoffs and storms out.
"He's going to kill you. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when." Rafe says softly and you lick your lips.
"I know. I told them to call you when he went to the bathroom."
You can see the gears turning as he blames himself and it breaks your heart.
"It's not your fault, Rafey. You did everything you could. Thank you."
The sound of his nickname leaving your mouth is saccharine, and he has to take a seat to prevent his knees from giving out.
He takes your hand and presses a soft kiss to your bruised knuckles and realization slams into him; you fought back. He doesn't know if that thought makes him feel better or worse, so he pushes it aside.
"You wanna tell me what really happened?"
You take a deep breath and nod.
"I'll tell you everything."
While Rafe listens to you bare your soul and recount the abuse, another situation is developing downstairs.
Barry is still in the waiting room when Sarah walks in with JJ. She was with him when she got the text, and he insisted on bringing her. Barry's eyebrows shoot up when he locks eyes with the younger boy, but he doesn't say anything.
Just as Sarah is about to step forward, Everett nearly sends her crashing to the ground when he shoves past her. She whips around with a deep scowl, ready to cuss him out.
"Watch it, asshole! I hit back."
It's a subtle dig that causes him to falter, and JJ looks between them. He's never met Everett, but the way Sarah is staring this man down tells him he's looking the devil in the face.
Now, JJ hates Rafe with a passion and doesn't necessarily care for you but one thing he won't tolerate is a woman being shoved around.
He was already pissed to hear what happened to you, but to now see this scum hurt his friend with his own two eyes? Everything about the class war falls to the side, and he locks onto his target.
JJ sidesteps at the last second and blocks him from leaving.
"Everett? Fancy seeing you here. Everything okay?" He asks with mock sincerity and Everett plasters on a fake smile.
Sarah shoots Rafe a text, worried about how far this is going to go.
JJ is squaring off with Everett. Why the fuck is he here?
Rafe pulls out his phone when it vibrates, and his entire demeanor shifts. He presses a kiss to your forehead and stands as you watch.
"Where are you going?" You ask and he hesitates for a moment.
"To take care of this shit once and for all."
You don't get the chance to ask what that means before he's racing toward the lobby. He stops just in front of Sarah, using his body as a barrier between her and the men.
"What are you doing here, Maybank?"
His tone is lacking its usual bite, and JJ nods at Sarah.
"Drove her and decided to stay and chat."
There's a silent truce as they watch each other for a moment, and suddenly they're on the same team.
Everett tries to slip away while JJ is distracted, but he's stopped by Rafe's hand clamping down on his shoulder.
"Outside. Now."
Rafe smirks at the flash of fear in his eyes and tightens his grip.
"I'm leaving man." Everett pleads, and Rafe pouts mockingly.
"So soon? I don't think you fully understand the situation you're in. You thought you could fuck with her and I wouldn't fuck with you?"
He doesn't give Everett a chance to protest as he grabs him by the back of the neck and guides him outside. JJ follows after them and Barry jumps up.
"Ah, shit. Stay here!" He points at Sarah before jogging to catch up with the three men.
They keep walking until Rafe finds a more secluded place and the second Everett turns to face him, his fist connects with his nose.
Everett stumbles back as blood starts pouring down his face and looks at Rafe like he's crazy. Maybe he is, but that's not going to stop him. Everett sees the deranged look in Rafe's eyes and turns to run, but slams into JJ's sturdy chest.
"I don't think so." He grins and grabs Everett to turn him back around. He holds him in place as Rafe lands a blow to his stomach before letting go. Everett drops to the ground with a loud groan and Rafe is on him in an instant.
Barry's head is on a swivel as he keeps a lookout and JJ stands by ready to intervene.
Rafe vaguely hears the two men telling him to stop, but he's too far gone. His skin burns as his knuckles are torn open, and a side of him that only exists when it comes to you is let out.
Blood runs together and spills onto the grass as Rafe assumes the role of judge, jury, and executioner. He imagines you begging and crying for mercy and finds a second wind.
"Is this how it felt? Did it make you feel powerful as she cowered beneath you? How's it feel now?" He spits, picking him up by the collar of his shirt and slamming him back down.
"Rafe, stop! You're going to kill him and we can't take the heat!" Barry shouts as he and JJ try to pry him away.
He looks down at the man as the adrenaline slows down and takes in the damage he caused. Everett is barely recognizable with eyes swollen shut and crimson smeared all over his face.
Rafe's not sure when he went unconscious and he doesn't care. Blood is spilling from several gashes and JJ turns him on his side so he doesn't choke.
Barry shakes his head and scratches his jaw, trying to think of the best course of action. He knew Rafe has a violent side but he's never seen it in person, and its worse than he imagined.
"You need to go shower and change. I'll tell the hospital that there's a guy who needs help." Barry finally says, and Rafe frowns. JJ nods his head towards his shirt and hands and he looks down.
Everett's blood is splattered all over his white henley and his hands and forearms are sticky with rust-colored stains. Rafe hands Barry his keys and sighs.
"Pull my Rover around; I can't walk through the parking lot like this." He instructs and Barry takes off toward the truck.
Rafe flexes his hands a few times to make sure nothing is broken before looking at the younger pogue.
"This doesn't mean we're even. It's on-site next time I see you."
JJ looks up and the two of them share a ghost of a smile before it disappears.
"Looking forward to kicking your ass again." JJ teases and Rafe nods with a low chuckle just as Barry pulls up.
Rafe drives back to his house in silence, mulling over the events of the night. He knows he should feel at least a little regret, but he just can't bring himself to care.
His hands are going to be fucked, but the throbbing in his knuckles is nothing in comparison to what you went through. He'd do it a million times over. In fact, the only regret he does have is that he didn't do it sooner.
He treks to the bathroom and turns the shower on before stripping down. He rolls his neck while releasing a deep breath, desperate for relief from some of the weight he's been carrying. His hand swipes at the foggy mirror, and he stares back at his reflection.
There's blood that doesn't belong to him sprinkled across his face like a constellation, and his jaw is set as he processes the past few months.
He shakes his head then drops his shoulders and steps into the water.
His head tilts forward as the water runs down his face and chest and he tries to let the feeling ground him.
After a moment he straightens up with his hair plastered to his forehead and just stares at the ceiling. His eyes slowly flutter closed as tears mingle with water on his cheeks, and he lets every emotion from the situation rush to the surface at once.
Guilt, regret, anger, hurt, all swirled together to form a category-five storm.
His gaze finally falls to the tiled floor when he starts washing his body, and he stares at the evidence of his vigilante justice gurgling down the drain. He wonders how many times your showers looked like this; how often the water ran red with your blood.
He wonders how often you've had to clean your own wounds and if you've mastered disguising bruises yet. The thought is enough to demolish any inkling of remorse.
Rafe is slow and deliberate as he scrubs his body clean before he shuts off the water and towel dries.
He dresses quickly and starts to head out when he stops suddenly and turns around. He grabs your favorite hoodie of his before he carries on, nearly running to the rover.
His knuckles ache as he grabs the steering wheel, but the dark purple bruises only spur him on and his foot presses down on the gas.
He blows past the waiting room, eager to be by your side again. He just wants to be near you where he can feel you and smell you and know that you're safe with him now.
He lets himself in this time, more confident in himself as he shoots you a grin. His heart swells at the scowl on your face, eager to be scolded by you so he can see your nose scrunch the way it does when you're upset.
"Where the hell did you go?" You ask with narrowed eyes, and in typical Rafe fashion, he tries to blow it off with a shrug.
"Worried about me, sweetheart?"
It's meant to be a tease, but his smile drops when he notices how serious you are.
"Yes, actually."
His features soften when your eyebrows pinch together and his thumb absentmindedly smooths over the creases.
"You know I'll always take care of you, bug. You also know that sometimes you can't ask questions."
He brings your hand up to his lips to press a sweet kiss to your knuckles and vows to make sure your hands never look beat up again; even if it means his are busted every day for the rest of his life.
There's a moment of sweet intimacy before your eyes land on his hand and everything stops. Your gaze lingers for a second before drifting to meet Rafe's ocean eyes.
He can see the questions swimming in your mind as you stare into his soul, and he does his best to answer them.
You tilt your head to the side and again, Rafe knows exactly what you're asking. 'Did you kill him?'
He lowers your interlocked hands back down into your lap but doesn't relinquish his hold, and slowly shakes his head.
He changes the subject, and you let him; you know better than to press your luck.
"Did Sarah come to see you?" He asks, and his heart soars at the way your face breaks into a bright smile.
"Yeah, she left just before you came back."
He nods, and his free hand smooths over your hair as you beam at him.
"Good. Here, I brought you this."
He holds out his sweatshirt and you take it eagerly, nearly squealing with excitement. You didn't realize how much you missed Rafe, but cuddling into his scent now feels like returning home after a long trip.
"You're the best!"
He scoffs playfully, but the way his lip quirks gives him away.
"Are you just now realizing that?"
He nearly implodes when you laugh, and he swears the sound alone could bring him to his knees. He hasn't heard you sound happy in months, and it's like a sweet summer song.
"There she is. There's my favorite girl."
His finger slips down your face until it trails along the underside of your jaw, and he pretends not to notice the heart monitor beeping quicker and quicker.
He looks at you like you hung the moon; like he would go to the ends of the Earth and back for you. There's nothing but pure adoration and longing that's reserved solely for you.
"Hey, Rafe?" Your voice is soft and whispy as you try to preserve the sanctity of your little bubble.
"Hm?" He hums, and you lick your lips nervously.
"Thank you."
He watches you intently for a second before chuckling.
"You don't have to thank me, bug. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."
His tone holds such conviction that you can't help but believe him, and nod silently. The rest of the day is spent catching up over junk food as you share fleeting glances and inside jokes.
You're held for observation overnight and the next day, Rafe drives you home. His hand is firmly planted on your lower back as he guides you towards the door, and his arm wraps around your entire torso when you stop to insert and turn the key.
As soon as you step inside, you notice the mess from before is gone and turn to face him.
"I hired a cleaning service. The last thing you need is a reminder, and you're in no condition to be cleaning." He shrugs, and if he didn't know better he'd think the glint in your eye is the same love he holds for you.
He quirks an eyebrow as you continue staring at him, and pokes your side. His hand freezes mid-air when you flinch away from his touch, and he peers down at you.
"Take your shirt off." He instructs and you laugh nervously.
"That's a bit presumptuous don't you think?"
He cocks his head to the side with a stern look you know all too well and the fight leaves you.
You sigh loudly as you pull it up and over your head before dropping it to the ground. Any other time, Rafe would make a joke about seeing you topless and leave you blushing.
This time though, he's struck silent by the sight of you in the worst way. There are large black and blue bruises on your ribcage and abdomen, accompanied by a few small scars.
A heavy silence hangs in the air for a moment before he reaches out slowly. His fingertips brush against the battered skin and you fight a shiver as goosebumps erupt.
"I should have killed him."
The deep creases between his brows and steely gaze tell you he means it with his entire being and you shake your head.
"It wasn't all bad."
His eyes meet yours immediately, unable to comprehend how you're still trying to defend that asshole in any capacity.
"Yeah?" He asks with feigned casualty. "What are the scars from?"
"Broken glass." You whisper and he nods with pursed lips.
"But it wasn't all bad, right?"
Your fingers wring together as you stare at the ground and Rafe softens.
"I'm sorry, that was out of line. Hell, I'm sorry for this whole clusterfuck."
You allow his fingers to tilt your chin up and search his eyes.
"Why are you sorry? You're not the one that did it."
His broad arms engulf you and you melt into his chest as his familiar cologne brings your comfort. '
"I should have helped sooner. I never should have told you to stop coming. Shit, I never should have let you go back the first time."
You pull back and shake your head while cupping his cheeks.
"You didn't let me do anything. There's nothing you could have done to stop me. It was a lesson I had to learn on my own. I hid it from everybody."
You feel his chest rise and fall as he takes a deep breath, and his eyes squeeze shut.
"No, I knew what was happening. I could have done something, anything." He argues and you scowl.
"You did do something. I called and you came; just like you always promised. You protected me, just like you have since we were kids."
Something in the air shifts as you look into his eyes, and realization slams into you. A part of you has always been curious if you could have something more with Rafe; call it human nature.
Standing here now, it's glaringly obvious that Rafe isn't just a piece of the puzzle; he's the whole damn picture. Everything you can remember in life begins and ends with Rafe.
You allow your eyes to flit down to his lips for a split second, but it's enough for him to notice and his tongue darts out. There's a single moment in time where the thought that this is a bad idea crosses your mind before you throw caution to the wind.
He seems to have the same thought before he leans in, and your lips mold together with his.
It's sweet and slow like molasses and the two of you fall into rhythm as if you've been doing this for years. His lips are soft like clouds and you savor the way his tongue massages yours.
He tastes like cinnamon and whiskey; an intoxicating combination that already has you craving more.
His hand tangles in your hair and tugs at the base of your skull before he relents. You gasp for air when he pulls back and rests his forehead against yours, your chest heaving against his as you try to catch your breath.
"I'm in love with you."
The words slip out before you can really process them, and Rafe responds faster than you can panic.
"Thank God." He mutters, pulling you back into a heated kiss.
You succumb to him completely, allowing him to surround you in every way possible. He's all you can think about as his hand grips your waist, and your nails scratch across his scalp.
You don't pull away until you get lightheaded, and Rafe holds you up as you give him a blissed-out smile.
"So you love me too?" You tease, and he groans.
"Sweetheart, I've been in love with you since I was twelve years old."
You laugh at the confession and let your head fall forward to rest on his chest.
"We're fucking idiots."
He nods with a chuckle, and finally, everything feels right. You're exactly where you've always belonged; safe in the arms of Rafe Cameron.
Two months later, things are finally starting to look up. Despite having Rafe by your side 24/7, nightmares have terrorized you incessantly and you look over your shoulder every few seconds.
Rafe helps you through it all, holding your hand and soothing you back to sleep at night.
Despite the suspicious circumstances of Everett's condition, nothing has come of it. Last you heard he healed up and moved a few hours away.
Things are mostly back to normal with the group; you're back to throwing keggers and surfing and it's as if nothing ever happened.
Sometimes Rafe gets a glimpse of that broken girl on the bathroom floor and has to remind himself that it takes time to heal.
You still flinch away from loud noises and sudden movements, and he notices the way you falter and doubt yourself. Still, he stays steady and reliable; always there to catch you if you fall.
He has to be extra soft, but he doesn't mind. It's not hard for him to treat you gently. Despite his reputation, Rafe has always been sickly sweet with you.
It wasn't uncommon for him to give you his last cookie during lunch in school or to dip out of class early and wait to walk you to the next period, and he had no issues beating up anyone that had something to say about it.
Even into adulthood, Rafe has gone out of his way to make you happy. Whether it's sending the group daggers behind your back to make sure you get your choice of restaurant or taking your car to get the oil changed, he's always taken care of you.
Sometimes he gets a little too loud watching a game or hanging with the guys, and he's apologizing before you can even process what happened.
You've told him time and time again that he doesn't have to be sorry and that you could never be scared of him. Regardless, he sees that battered and bruised version of you and buys an apology gift anyway.
Rafe loves you wholely and fiercely, the way that you deserve. He protects you with his life and spoils you more than you knew possible.
You're his princess and he's your knight. You bring him warmth and he brings you peace. He's everything you ever wanted and you're everything he ever needed. Two perfect halves finally united to be one heart.
#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe x reader#outer banks imagine#outer banks#rafe cameron angst#outer banks angst#obx imagine#obx angst#obx
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❛ HIS FAVORITE FAN...❜
You're my four-leaf clover | I'm so in love, so in love ⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 ♡ JAPANESE DENIM.
ཐིཋྀ ⊹ 𓈒 SUMMARY.
hcs of pro gamer! gojo satoru & his favorite fan, you.
ཐིཋྀ ⊹ 𓈒 CONTENT WARNING.
ooc gojo, cocky gojo (ofc) mature themes in some of them, him being a little shit, fluff, geto & shoko mention, etc.
ཐིཋྀ ⊹ 𓈒 NOTE.
will make an actual fic later. these are messy, sorry for that </3
pro gamer! gojo wasn’t someone you got along with at first. he was cocky, arrogant, and didn’t like following the rules. over extending when playing with his teammates, you just hated watching him play. you remember commenting something on a stream of his, the man eager to go back and forth with you for a while before you decided to leave the stream all together. yet, instead of letting that drop you suddenly received a message on your social media.
“didn’t have anything else to say?” was what it read, a shit-eating grin emoji placed beside it. and well, the rest was history. how you got swept into his arms was beyond you, really.
pro gamer! gojo who has a picture of you as his desktop wallpaper. but not just any picture, a pin up of you in a bikini. he saw a fellow gamer with one and practically begged you to do it, declaring he would pay for it. everything. your hair, bikini, the photographer. all you had to do was bring your pretty ass there, (he proclaimed). after some playful reluctance you gave in, the man basically buzzing with anticipation waiting for the pictures. the moment gojo received them he was uploading it as his wallpaper, cropping it perfectly so your plump ass rested just below his favorite game.
the man has, accidentally clicked off a game to his desktop when on stream, declaring he had to check something. really, it was a message to anyone interested in him or you.
pro gamer! gojo who encourages you to come with him when traveling for events. promising to spend some time with you personally and that he just needs his lucky charm there. most times you’re able to take off work in time, others you aren’t— leaving the poor man upset. satoru will still go to the event, but his heart is definitely not in it; pouting like a child. you’ve gotten messages from geto, complaining about his behavior and making you promise to come to the next one.
pro gamer! gojo who is so good at multitasking it should be a crime. who’s able to have you on his cock, crying and being stuffed full; all while clutching his matches. face cam off, switching his mic on and off between your gasps and moans, rising his hips to adjust in his seat— grinning at the way you nearly toppled into his chest. pressing you against his desk when the match gets intense, shushing you softly when you whined.
finally after the match is done he’s releasing his controller, hands falling to your waist and bouncing you up and down his length. with the cockiest grin ever he’ll say; “you’ll have to hurry and come, baby— the game’s starting soon.” yet will slow you down, just to watch the frustrated tears build in your eyes, and the dreaded sound of the game starting again. so quick to release you, attention turning back to the game as if nothing happened. the cycle continues for so long you swear you’ll break, face pushed into his neck as soft gasps escaped you.
the torture would finally end when the last match of the game is finished, gojo tossing his headphones off his hair, grabbing your hips whilst standing. he would waste no time in turning around, heading towards the bed to drill you into the mattress. satoru just loves the way you beg and beg for a release, all while pretty tears trickle down your face and the gold plated anklet of his name jingles right beside his ear. yeah, he’s coming in minutes, stuffing you so not a drop escapes.
there have been a few times gojo has tossed his headphones a little too hard, rendering geto’s and shoko’s poor ears to your activities. the pair now know to click off the call quickly when they know you’re home.
pro gamer! gojo who feels his heart swell when he sees you at his tournaments in the front and wearing a shirt with his name. it’s cheesy, he would tell you, earning a playful slap on his shoulder. yet satoru loves it, happy you’re there to cheer him on. definitely try hards just to hear you praise and scream for him.
pro gamer! gojo who is pretty cold with his female fans. he’s nice, sure, but with every conversation he’s somehow bringing you up. “oh, my girlfriend likes that color..” “yeah, my girlfriend loves that band.” “no, my girlfriend wouldn’t like that.” constantly reminds them he’s taken and happy. doesn’t entertain anyone that flirts.
pro gamer! gojo who teaches you how to play, mostly fighting games and will be a sore loser if you somehow beat him. the type to bump into your shoulder, smack your controller out of your hand, or even tickle you. also will definitely ask for a rematch, claiming he wasn’t ready (he was).
pro gamer! gojo who will drop a stream just for you, doesn’t matter how little the request is. doesn’t care who’s annoyed by it. you’re priority to him.
pro gamer! gojo who has threatened to fuck you on stream before. maybe you’re waving at his face cam and talking too sweetly to his fans, maybe you’re walking in the camera in your cute little shorts, or maybe you’re just breathing around him. gojo is quick to snake an arm around your waist, pull you close, and whisper the threat right into your ear— all while smiling innocently. it takes everything in you not to challenge him, as gojo satoru, never backs down from a challenge.
pro gamer! gojo who has his issues, but loves you dearly, much more than any video game.
#mani writes ━━ ★#black!reader#jjk x black reader#jjk smut#jjk x fem!reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo smut#gojo x you#gojo x black reader#gojo x black y/n#gojo x female reader#gojo x black!reader
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Cramps (Poly!Marauders x Reader)
Pairing: Poly! Marauders x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Mentions of periods, cramps, migraines, and puking
Summary: Y/N wakes up with the rude awakening of her period and after struggling through her entire day she finds comfort in her boys who know exactly what to do.
A/N: This is not my first fanfiction or even Marauders fanfiction but I decided to make a blog specifically dedicated to them so I hope y’all like it <3
Today completely and utterly sucked. After waking up without any of your boyfriends arms around you and venturing to the bathroom and realizing you’d started your period in the night you knew it would suck. You cleaned up before changing the sheets in James’ bed and getting ready for class, which you dreaded twice as much as usual. At least it was potions which you quite enjoyed.
Immediately after potions you had a terrible migraine and that mixed with your never ending cramps forced you to run to the bathroom, puking up all of the breakfast you didn’t even eat. After emptying your stomach you dragged to your next class, herbology but the cycle continued all day with your migraine and cramps only intensifying. You didn’t even want to go to dinner by the time you were done with class but figuring your boys would worry and you probably did desperately need to at least try to eat you begrudgingly made your way to the great hall. After sitting down the boys immediately knew something was wrong judging by the way you grabbed your stomach and put your head into Sirius’ chest shielding your eyes.
“Hey pup, what’s wrong?” Sirius said gently and he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and head to helped further shield you, having a pretty good idea whats going on already.
“Stupid period”
“Aww I’m sorry darling, after dinner we can go cuddle and I’ll get you a heat pack,” James spoke from the other side of you, now moving one of his large hands that radiated warmth to your stomach to lightly rub on it in an attempt to help sooth your pain.
“Thanks Jamie, where’s Remmie?” you questioned as you looked up and realized your other boyfriend was missing.
“He’ll be here in just a moment princess, just had to go to the bathroom,” James explained now fixing a plate for you with his unoccupied hand as Sirius was placing kisses to your hairline as you’d buried your head again the lights being to much.
At that moment Remus finally walked in, immediately noticing your state as he shot a concerned look at the other boys who just mouthed to him what was happening so they wouldn’t disturb you to much. At that Remus pulled out a chocolate bar from his bag and walked over to you kissing you on the cheek with some struggle and silently placing the candy in your lap, chuckling at how you lit up slightly at the sight of it.
“Thanks, Remmie.”
“Of course my love,” he spoke placing a kiss to your now visible lips.
You took a few sips of water while nibbling at the fruit James had placed onto your plate and the chocolate bar from Remus feeling slightly more relaxed as Sirius’ hand had replaced James’ so he could eat and was rubbing soft circle on your stomach. After everyone had finished their dinner the boys stood, waiting for you to do so knowing that your stomach hurt when you stood. You slowly did, but immediately regretted it as pain burned through you making you nauseous as you ran to the bathroom for what felt like the hundredth time today. As you emerged you were greeted by three very concerned boys, Sirius having his arms out for you knowing you would get sick again if you had to walk to the dorm. You gladly accepted and allowed Sirius to pick you up, placing one arm under your thighs and the other across your back as you ventured to the boys dorm.
You’d fallen asleep at some point on your walk, only waking when Sirius set you on the bed and Remus started to change you into more comfortable clothes. You went to the bathroom after allowing Remus to finish changing you once he insisted you not do it yourself, quickly cleaning up and brushing your teeth. Once you were back in the room you claim bed onto Sirius lap, allowing him to rub your stomach again as he placed soft kisses all over your face. Remus walked over to you with a glass of water that you gladly accepted as James walked into the room with a heating pad and tea for all of you. You curled up on Sirius’ lap, James to the left with his head resting on Sirius’ shoulder and his fingers rubbing your arm gently, and Remus to the left slowly rubbing your thigh while reading out loud to you all taking a break every once in a while to place a kiss onto the three of yours heads. And that’s how you spent your night, listening to Remus’ soft voice and sipping tea as Sirius’ hands helped to dull the pain in your stomach and James placed soft kisses all over you until finally you all drifted off.
#marauders#remus lupin#sirius black#james potter#poly!marauders#fluff#remus being remus#marauders x reader#james potter x reader#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#poly!marauders x reader#tooth rotting fluff#harry potter
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Jonesy had always carried the burden of a troubled past, one filled with heartache and loneliness. His childhood had been a whirlwind of neglect by his uncaring parents, and financial hardships. Growing up, he’d known emptiness and hunger all too well, often going days without a proper meal, and the constant starvation had left him with a perpetually slight frame. Things only got tougher as he grew older, and realized that he needed to make some money to get by on his own… and when he found out he was pregnant at 19 — just before he planned to finally leave his unsteady childhood home — his world was turned upside down.
The idea of becoming a father at his young age filled him with dread, fearing he would be unable to provide for his child, or form a meaningful bond with them. Years and years of being paid nothing but dust by his parents caused him to feel detached and unable to connect with others… like an outsider in his own life. his own mother and father had failed him, and he didn’t want to continue that cycle.
Haunted by the ghosts of his upbringing, Jonesy was harried by guilt and shame, convinced that he was inadequate to be a parent. He didn’t have his own place, a car to drive around, or hardly enough money to afford to take care of anyone other than himself. Determined not to repeat the history of neglect and instability, he made the difficult decision to give his baby up for adoption early on in his pregnancy. The weight of his choice hung heavy on his heart, but he convinced himself it was for the best.
As the months passed, Jonesy's belly swelled big and full with the life growing inside him. Despite his initial reservations, he found himself marveling at the miracle of pregnancy. The kicks and flutters from within brought a sense of peace and joy he had never experienced before… a newfound connection. He found solace in the idea that this little being was a part of him. As he watched his slender body grow larger, to make room for the baby, he began to appreciate the miracle of life that was unfolding within him… and it gave him the motivation to break the cycle, and make something of himself. He didn’t know how or where, but he was going to get a job, and save up for his baby.
After cashing a few paychecks, and becoming more self-sufficient, he soon realized that, despite his own hardships, he had the capacity to love and nurture a child in ways he never thought possible for himself. And with each passing day, he grew more certain that this unexpected journey was leading him to a place of joy and fulfillment he had never thought attainable. Jonesy began to let go of his fear and doubt, allowing himself to believe that, perhaps, he could turn out to be a good parent after all… and strive to be everything that his own mother and father couldn’t be for him. The love he felt for the baby growing inside him gave him hope for a future that he never dared to imagine before.
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The One That Got Away.
(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)
Based on the song:
The One That Got Away - Katy Perry
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Story: you and Eddie were basically high school sweethearts, you were just completely in love with each other- seeming like you were never apart. But one day- you had to move away for college, and not wanting to deal with the stress of long distance, you broke it off with Eddie. More than a couple of years pass and you are now in your late 20’s returning back home for the first time since moving away- you couldn’t seem to forget about what you had with Eddie, but he seemingly moved on.. or did he truly??-
‼️Warning‼️: use of y/n, slight angst, reader moves away, reader and Eddie both get heartbroken, crying, huge time jump, mention of older!eddie, reader gets hurt even more, slight friendly affection, ending is kinda good if you think it is, etc. (please tell me if I forgot anything!)
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The year was 1986- you and Eddie had been dating since you were in junior year (and Eddie’s first retake of senior year) , and you guys were probably the cutest couple in all of Hawkins.
You were just obsessed with each other, spending every second of the day together, the love you had for each other just seeming to never go away.
The year you both graduated, you had planned spending that entire summer with Eddie- just having as much fun you two could have in this small town.
It seemed like it was a continuing cycle- Eddie would come pick you up from your house in his van, he would bring you on a date somewhere around town, you two would then end up making out in his van after (sometimes you two would hook up in the back, but it really depended on the time), then you would go to his trailer and chill around with him in his room until it was time for you to head back home.
You guys just seemed to have everything perfect, there was no issues at all- and Eddie was head over heels in love with you.
He genuinely thought you would be the one he would spend the rest of his life with and he would always tell you that..
That’s why you were so afraid to tell him that you were heading to California for college, but you knew sooner or later he would find out.
And then that dreaded day came..
Eddie was excited to spend the last few days of the summer with you- he had a whole day planned for you and him, but the smile he had on his face as he pulled up instantly turned into a look of confusion as he noticed you bringing boxes out to a small moving truck.
Eddie noticed how you noticed his van had pulled up in front of your house, causing you to quickly move a box onto the truck before you started to try and quickly make your way back inside, obviously avoiding Eddie.
“Y/n??- what.. what’s all this?..” Eddie called out as he made his way out of his van, the confused look still on his face.
You just froze in front of your front door, your back facing him to hide your tear stained face.
You just stayed quiet, hoping that he would just somehow disappear at that moment, but you knew he wouldn’t- and you knew you couldn’t have just left without him knowing, he had to know.
“I’m leaving..” you mumbled with your head down, Eddie couldn’t even hear what you said as he made his way towards you.
“Wait what?- y/n look at me please..” He said, still giving a confused look as he moved his hand to rest on your shoulder, trying to force you to turn and look at him.
You just quickly pushed his hand off your shoulder and shook your head, letting out small sniffles as you finally turned to face him with your tear stained face.
“I’m leaving Eddie.” You said, your tone slightly sharp which caused Eddie to furrow his eyebrows slightly, just still so confused about what was happening.
“W- okay wait, what do you mean you’re leaving??..” he said, looking down at you as he tried to bring one of his hands up to wipe the tears off your cheek.
Your hand just instantly came up to stop his, pushing it back towards his chest pretty harshly which caused him to look at you with a slight shocked look on his face.
“I told you a while ago I was planning on going to college Eddie.. in California- I’m leaving today.” You muttered through silent tears, shaking your head as you started making your way back inside your house.
Eddie’s brown eyes just widened as he quickly followed after you inside.
“Wait you never told me this-! I thought you were gonna stay here with me.. baby- wait please-!” He said, obviously panicking a little as he quickly stopped you as you got to the stairs, his hands moving to grab yours as he turned you to face him.
“Eddie please- I get that you want to just live your life carefree but I need to worry about my future okay??” You said through sniffles, pulling your hands away from his as you quickly started making your way upstairs to grab more boxes from your room.
“But what about OUR future y/n?!- the future that we promised ourselves?!” He called out, honestly totally freaking out over the fact you were moving away as he quickly followed you into your room.
As you grabbed a box, you noticed how he had basically blocked the doorway with his body, refusing to let you continue trying to run off while he talked to you.
“There is no future between us Eddie-!! Okay?? How can there be a future between us when I’m fucking halfway across the country?!!” You screamed at him, honestly not giving a shit if your parents could hear you from downstairs.
Eddie just looked at you with wide eyes in shock, you had never screamed at him before- he just stared at your red, tear stained face as he took a moment to comprehend what you just said.
“Wh-what… what do you mean by that baby?.. come on, you don’t actually mean that sweetheart..” he said, his voice soft since he was just kinda in shock- he didn’t want what he was thinking, to be the truth.
“Eddie this isn’t going to work out between us..” you muttered out with quiet sobs.
Those words just instantly hit Eddie like a train- his heart fell and shattered into his stomach, his face instantly dropped and his eyes started to fill with tears.
There was a slight ringing in his ears, what you said couldn’t be true- maybe he was just dreaming, maybe he was just having a truly bad dream and he would wake from it any second.
But seconds passed.. and it didn’t seem like he was waking up at any moment.
“..so- you’re just breaking up with me??..” he finally managed to mutter out quietly, his eyes full of tears and pain as he looked down at you.
You just stayed quiet, small sniffles escaping from you as you shook your head and looked down- unable to look up at him as small tears trailed down your face.
“Just like that-?.. we’re done??..” he got out in his shaky voice, his brown eyes slightly glaring at you.
You could tell he was upset and hurt- you could just feel the pain and anger from the glare he was burning through you.
He loved you more than anything in this life, and here you were- breaking his heart.
“Eddie.. you know I love you-” you got out quietly, your red puffy eyes finally moving to look at him.
His face was now red and just full of tears as he stood there, his fists clenched at his side- he didn’t know how to react.
At that moment he wanted to just punch a hole through your wall, but also he wanted to just break down on the ground and sob, just wanting to curl at your feet and beg for you to try and work things out.
But his body just couldn’t get him to do either besides freeze there while staring at you.
You decided after a moment of just staring at each other to make a move, your body slowly shuffling towards him as your shaky hand moved up to cup the side of his face.
You noticed how his eyes moved from your face to your hand, just looking down at it for a moment before looking back at your tear stained face- not saying a word.
“I didn’t want to do this Ed’s- you know that..” you whispered out through sniffles, looking up into his brown doe eyes.
But Eddie just shook his head and took in a deep breath, one of his hands moving to slowly pull yours off his face.
“No y/n… it’s fine- I’ll just get going now, I don’t want to slow you down.” He muttered out, his voice quiet but also slightly sharp sounding as he let out a tiny huff- his body moving to take a step back from you.
Your eyes just filled with more tears as you watched him instantly distance himself, the hurt obvious in his face and body.
You just shook your head as small sobs finally started to escape from you, your eyes watching as he brought his gaze down and instantly stormed out of your room.
You just broke down, your body forcing you to your knees as you leaned against your bed- the sound of heavy sobs escaping from you as you heard the front door swing open before slamming shut.
You just couldn’t seem to get your body to move- you were just stuck crying on the floor, all alone in your room full of small boxes.
Soon enough, your parents had slowly come upstairs, deciding to let you have your moment as they moved the boxes for you.
And after a moment- you managed to collect yourself, just completely numb with your tear filled eyes as you helped them put the rest of your shit into the truck.
This was just another step in your life, one that you needed to just walk over and move on from-
One big step.
-time skip-
It had been a pretty long since you have been back in Hawkins.
Yeah, you would visit here and there for holidays- but you never genuinely stayed and rested down back in your hometown.
You had decided to stay in California and lived there after you managed to find a pretty good job- you had even managed to find a few guys here and there and pretty much seemed to move on with your life.
But there was always that one thing stuck in the back of your mind- that being Eddie.
God you missed him- you missed what you had with him, you missed all the fun you used to have with him- you just missed him.
But it had been years, you were now in your late 20’s- you should have forgotten about him by now, he was just some high school boy that you loved, but it was way more that that..
and you knew it.
You had arrived at your parents place, being super glad they decided to let you stay with them for the time being until you find a nice little place either in or right outside of Hawkins.
You just missed home, after living in California for so long- you had started to get homesick, missing all your friends and family.. and certainly other things.
Currently, it was around 4:30 pm and your mom was starting to prepare a little ‘welcome home’ meal for dinner.
You had decided to help out, missing the feeling of just spending time with your mom after being away from her for so long.
As you guys were preparing dinner and shit- your mother had noticed that she had forgotten one thing, and she didn’t have any more currently.
So just to be nice and take the worry off your mother, you had offered to drive to the store to go pick her some up real quick- which she instantly appreciated.
You just instantly grabbed your jacket, quickly put on your shoes before you grabbed your car keys and sped out the house- just quickly getting into your car so you could pick up what she needed before dinner was finished cooking.
And when you got there, you did what you needed to do.
You walked into the store, grabbed what you needed, paid for it, and started making your way out the store.
You didn’t really recognize anybody in the store, I mean- you didn’t have a lot of friends to be honest living in Hawkins even though it was a pretty small town.
As you made your way back to your car, softly humming to yourself and just minding your own business- you heard a familiar voice.
You froze for a moment, just standing by your car as you listened to the voice speaking to somebody- at first it didn’t really click to you..
Who was it??..
As you slowly turned your head to look over at the person speaking, revealing their identity to you- you just froze.
You could recognize the long messy brown hair anywhere- the big shiny smile, the tall stature, the iconic brown doe eyes.. you could recognize them anywhere.
It was Eddie.
You knew it was rude but you couldn’t help but stare with wide eyes- he was even more beautiful now than he was in high school.
He had gotten more muscular, more tattoos that covered more of his arms and hands, also managing to see some poke out from the top and bottom of his shirt as he moved around carrying paper bags full of groceries.
He had grown a little scruff on his face and overall just looked more older and mature- this Eddie was wayyyyy different than the scrawny boy you dated in high school, he was now a man.
Out of instinct you wanted to go up to him, say hi, just try to make conversation with the man you once loved more than anything.
And you were genuinely planning on it- but as you took a small step away from your car, you froze once again as you saw a little girl quickly run up to Eddie and wrap her little arms around his legs.
She looked about 5, she had blonde hair that was wavy like Eddie’s slight curls- and she had the cutest little smile on her face as she happily squealed ‘daddyyy!!’ at almost the top of her lungs.
And as you stared, watching Eddie smile big down at the little girl while trying not to trip over her- his hands still full of groceries, that’s when you saw her.
A tall blonde woman- she looked gorgeous, she could have honestly been a model with how beautiful she was.
You watched as she appeared from around the car’s other side- a little grin on her face as she walked up to Eddie and quickly scooped up the little girl before pressing a small kiss to his lips.
Your heart just seemed to slightly jump up into your throat, and you just automatically put the pieces together.. you weren’t stupid after all.
Eddie had moved on with his life- he had gotten a wife, had a child- he had moved on.. completely forgetting about you.
You had definitely been staring for way too long, because as soon as the woman stepped away to put the kid in the back seat- Eddie’s eyes had glanced over, instantly making eye contact with you.
He seemed to instantly recognize you by the way his eyes widened, and his face dropped slightly- the same way it dropped when you broke up with him years ago.
You just felt a slight shock run through your body, instantly pulling you out of whatever trance you were in as your face turned red in embarrassment.
You just quickly shook your head and looked down, not wanting to waste another second of being there before you just quickly got back into your car and sped back off home.
You tried to play it cool for dinner- keeping casual conversation but not saying too much, also not staying too quiet to accidentally cause your parents to question you.
You just felt absolutely heartbroken with what you saw at the store, this is what is must of felt like for Eddie when you broke up with him- and now karma came back to bite you straight in the ass.
You just decided after dinner to go out and drive around, wanting to try and clear your mind from what you saw.
It had been years, it was obvious he wasn’t going to be stuck on you forever- he had to move on, and so did you..
But why was it so fucking hard?!
You had tried to get with other dudes, but they never worked out- all that you had in your mind was Eddie.. just Eddie.
Why did you ever break up with him-? It seemed to hurt you more than benefit you.
But now it was too late to cry and throw a fit about it- you now had to force yourself to move on, find somebody new.
And what better way to try and move on- then going to a bar??
You weren’t really interested in catching someone’s eye tonight- so you were just in casual clothes, I mean- you still looked nice but you just genuinely came here to drink and distract yourself a little.
You had sat down on the bar, quickly ordering yourself a drink.
You sat there for a while, staying to yourself as you looked down at your glass, just lightly fiddling with the rim of the glass.
“Funny to see you here..” you heard a voice say- and you instantly recognized it.
It caused a slight wave of shock to run through your body once again as you quickly picked your head up and sat up, your eyes slightly wide as you glanced over.
And there he was- Eddie Munson.
You didn’t notice how he had slid into the seat next to you, you didn’t even know when he arrived.
You noticed how he looked relaxed, there was slight tenseness in his shoulders as he sat up, but overall he seemed like he was trying to make sure you were comfortable.
“W-what are you doing here?..” you had managed to get out, your fingers nervously playing with the rim of your half empty glass.
Eddie had placed his arms on the bar, putting his tattooed and ring covered hands together as he rested against his elbows.
Your eyes had glanced down at his hands, instantly noticing the wedding band on his left ring finger.
But his eyes were on you- studying your face and eyes as he noticed you seem to slouch slightly while his eyes glanced down to his hands as he saw you looking at his wedding ring.
“Oh just.. y’know.. grabbing a drink, decided to come out and get out of the house..” he muttered, just letting out a small awkward cough as he moved his hands off the bar, causing your eyes to inevitably meet his.
They were soft, almost like a look of sympathy- it was like he could read your mind, but really he could just tell and know what you were thinking just by the look on your face.
“I’ve seen you got married.. had a daughter- they’re both beautiful-” you hummed out, just instantly getting to the elephant in the room as the bartender brought Eddie a beer.
You could hear the small sigh escape from his nose as he nodded his head and took a sip of his beer- just sitting there silent for a moment as he looked down at the bottle in his hand.
“Yeah.. they are my world.. we’ve been married for like three years.. and then we had her when we were still dating..” he muttered, his eyes moving down from the beer bottle back to you as you just nodded your head and sighed softly.
You would be lying if you said it wasn’t awkward- you two were literally the definition of awkward at that moment.
“Well- I’m happy for you.. truly.” You said, a soft tone in your voice and look on your face as you slowly brought one of your hands up to gently rest on his shoulder.
Eddie’s brown eyes just glanced over at your hand for a moment, sitting there quietly for a little bit before he looked back at you and gently lifted your hand up- deciding to hold it in his as he made eye contact with you.
“I want you to know y/n- you were the love of my life.. and I will still love you forever- even if we can’t be together..” he muttered softly, his hand giving yours a small squeeze as you felt his thumb run circles against the back of your hand gently.
You seemed to get teary eyed slightly as you looked into his eyes, a tiny sniffle escaping from you as you nodded your head lightly.
“And I will always love you… I always have Eddie- no matter what..” you whispered out as tears started to fill your eyes slowly.
Soon, Eddie’s hand had moved from holding yours to slowly hold the side of your face- a soft look in his eyes as he gently wiped away your tears with his thumb.
“Hey.. no crying on me, you know it hurts my heart-” he joked, a little stupid smirk appearing on his face which you couldn’t help but let out a tiny giggle at.
No matter what- Eddie always knew how to make you smile, even if you were sobbing and having a complete breakdown- he was always there for you to help and make you feel better.
“I’ll always be here for you sweetheart..” he said, his voice soft as he continued to look into your eyes.
You both just sat there for a moment- staring into each other eyes and just enjoying each other’s presence.
You even had decided to catch up on each other’s lives, and it was like you were back in high school joking and talking with Eddie.
Soon enough, it had started to get late- and Eddie had to get back home to his wife and daughter before he got in trouble.
You sat on the bar stool as Eddie stood up, leaving money to pay for his drink, as well as yours.
“It’s on me tonight, okay??- just, make sure to get home safe and we can still be friends… just- call me if you ever need me.” He said, his hand resting on your shoulder as he stood behind you.
You just gave a soft smile and nodded your head- and before Eddie walked off to leave, he placed a small friendly kiss on your cheek.
You couldn’t help but blush a little bit as you gave his hand on your shoulder a small squeeze.
“Byeee Eddie~” you said with a little grin, saying it slightly exaggerated to hint at him that he should really start heading home.
Eddie just let out a small chuckle and shook his head, giving a little bye before he finally left- leaving you at the bar to let you finish your drink and use his money to pay for your drink.
You had a relaxed smile on your face- just glad that even through everything.. you still were able to have Eddie in your life, even if it meant you guys were only friends.
(A/n: this took me so long to finish like holy shit, but I hope you liked it- 😭)
#joe quinn#joseph quinn#localemofreak#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson angst#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x fem!reader angst#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x fem!reader fluff#Eddie Munson imagines#eddie munson one shot
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Always (supercorp)
Lena has nightmares every night and only Kara can keep them at bay.
or
Kara finds every excuse to spend the night in Lena's bed so that Lena can sleep.
a soft, fluffy and angsty supercorp fic.
Lena lay in bed, her eyes heavy with exhaustion, but her mind stubbornly refusing to give in to sleep. Night after night, the same haunting nightmares tormented her, a relentless loop of horror that had become all too familiar. It had been a month since that dreadful day when Lex had blown up a building and then turned his madness towards her.
The scar on her stomach throbbed, a constant physical reminder of that traumatic encounter. She traced her fingers over the faint line, a painful memory etched into her skin. Closing her eyes, she could vividly recall that nightmarish moment. The memory played out like a horrifying movie reel in her mind.
Lex, his face contorted with manic rage, covered in sweat and soot from the destruction he had wrought. His eyes glinted with a dangerous intensity as he approached her, a knife concealed up his sleeve.
"This is your last chance to join me, sister," his voice dripped with a chilling mix of desperation and malice.
Lena's response had been firm and resolute, her voice unwavering, "Never."
Lex lunged at her, the knife flashing in the dim light. The searing pain as the blade sliced through her flesh, the shock and disbelief that followed, and then a wave of darkness that enveloped her as her vision blurred and her body gave way.
Just as the darkness threatened to consume her completely, a distant voice penetrated the void. Kara's voice, a desperate scream that pierced through the fog of unconsciousness. But Lena was already slipping away, unable to fight against the pull of oblivion.
Back in the present, Lena's body finally succumbed to its overwhelming fatigue, her eyelids drooping as her thoughts continued to race. She fought against the encroaching sleep, desperately clinging to consciousness. But the battle was a losing one, and eventually, her mind gave in.
The nightmares returned with a vengeance, a macabre tapestry of fear and torment that painted her subconscious in vivid shades of terror. The sound of explosions echoed in her ears, and the memory of Lex's crazed expression haunted her once more. Lena thrashed in her sleep, trapped in a nightmarish cycle that seemed impossible to escape.
As the nightmares intensified, Lena's eyes snapped open, her body drenched in sweat, heart racing. She was back in her room, the dim light casting eerie shadows on the walls. Gasping for air, Lena realized that the room felt suffocating, the weight of her memories and fears pressing down on her. She sat up, her breathing ragged, and rubbed her temples as she tried to shake off the residual terror. She knew she couldn't go on like this, trapped in a cycle of sleepless nights and haunting dreams. But finding a way out seemed impossible, her trauma a prison from which there was no escape.
Exhausted and defeated, Lena lay back down, her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. She longed for respite, for a moment of peace, but she knew that the night was far from over, and the nightmares would likely return once more. With a heavy sigh, she braced herself for another sleepless night.
The following night, Lena slid into bed and found herself staring at the ceiling, her heart racing, her breath uneven. She couldn't bear the thought of closing her eyes, of succumbing once more to the terrors that awaited her in the realm of dreams.
With a sigh, she reached over to turn off her lamp, plunging her room into darkness. But just as she settled back against her pillows, a soft knock echoed through the room, startling her. Lena's heart skipped a beat, her body tensing as she cautiously got out of bed.
She padded across the room, her breath catching in her throat when she saw the familiar sight of Kara standing on the balcony, clad in her Supergirl suit. The moonlight illuminated her tousled, windswept blonde hair, and the suit accented her lean physique and the well-defined muscles beneath the suit. Her blue eyes shimmered in the night, and her lips curled into a beautiful smile that made Lena's heart race.
"Kara, hi. What are you doing here?" Lena managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper.
Kara's smile widened, her eyes glinting with a playful sparkle. "Hey, Lena. I was on patrol nearby and I'm absolutely exhausted. Do you mind if I crash here?"
Lena's mind was a whirlwind of emotions, but all she could muster was a simple, "No, not at all."
Lena let Kara into her penthouse. Kara often crashed at Lena's after game nights or movie nights but this felt different somehow.
Lena handed Kara a pair of her sweats and a t-shirt, their fingers briefly grazing against each other, sending a shiver of electricity through Lena's veins.
"Thanks, Lena," Kara said appreciatively before disappearing into the bathroom to change. Lena watched the closed door, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts. She took a seat on the edge of her bed, the anticipation building as she waited for Kara to emerge.
The moments ticked by, each second feeling like an eternity as Lena's heart raced. The quiet rustling of fabric signaled Kara's return, and Lena's breath caught as she looked up to see Kara stepping out of the bathroom, dressed in Lena's clothes. The clothes were slightly short on Kara, exposing a tantalizing glimpse of her toned abs. Lena's throat went dry, and she swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest, her fingers itching to trace the path of those well-defined muscles..
She had always known that her feelings for Kara ran deeper than the love one felt for a friend, a truth she had carefully kept hidden behind carefully constructed walls of friendship, but in moments like this, she struggled to keep her feelings at bay.
Normally, Kara would retire to one of the guest rooms, and Lena had assumed tonight would be no different. But to Lena's surprise, Kara moved with graceful purpose, sliding into Lena's bed as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Despite the many nights they had spent under the same roof, Kara had never slept in Lena's bed. This was something Lena had never even dared to imagine, even in her wildest dreams.
With cautious steps, Lena slipped under the covers, settling beside Kara. The bed seemed impossibly small, the space between them charged with an electric tension. Kara turned onto her side, facing Lena, and Lena mirrored her position, their gazes locked.
"Goodnight, Lena," Kara whispered, her breath ghosting over Lena's lips before she closed her eyes.
"Goodnight, Kara."
Lena found herself acutely aware of Kara's presence beside her. With her eyes closed, she tried to find a sense of calm, allowing the rhythm of Kara's breath to guide her.
As time passed, Lena felt herself gradually relaxing, the softness of the moment easing the usual restlessness that plagued her nights. The fear of nightmares still lingered, but it felt distant.
She felt herself surrendering to sleep. The sound of Kara's steady breathing became comforting.
In the quiet darkness of the room, Lena's consciousness slipped away, her mind finally finding a respite from the torment of her past. As sleep claimed her, the usual nightmares were conspicuously absent.
--
The soft, warm rays of morning light gently filtered through the curtains, casting a serene glow over the room. Lena stirred, gradually awakening from the depths of slumber, her senses slowly coming to life. The sensation that enveloped her was one of warmth and security, a comfort she hadn't experienced in a long time.
She realised that Kara's arms were tightly wrapped around her and her body was pressed against Lena's back, their forms fitting together as if they were two pieces of a puzzle perfectly aligned.
Lena's heart danced within her chest as she felt Kara's breath ghosting against the back of her neck, a sensation that sent shivers of delight down her spine. The intimacy of the moment was intoxicating and left her heart racing dangerously.
Kara stirred beside her, her movements slow and gentle. Lena could hear a soft, almost inaudible mumble from Kara, the sound of her voice tugging at Lena's heartstrings. "Oh, sorry," Kara's voice was a gentle whisper.
Lena felt a twinge of disappointment as Kara began to extricate herself from their embrace.
As Lena turned to look at Kara, her eyes were met with a sleepy smile that seemed to illuminate the entire room. Lena's heart skipped a beat as she took in the sight of Kara's tousled hair and the soft lines of her face.
"Morning," Kara's voice was soft and sleepy.
Lena's fingers itched to reach out, to brush away the hair that had fallen across Kara's forehead, to trace the delicate curve of her cheek. But a sense of shyness held her back, a lingering hesitation that reminded her of the boundaries Lena had always maintained.
--
Over the course of the next two weeks, Lena's life took an unexpected turn. To her immense surprise and relief, Kara seemed to find a reason, however small, to spend every single night in Lena's bed. It was a pattern that quickly became a comforting routine. Each evening, as the world outside dipped into the embrace of night, Kara would slip into Lena's bed, a shield against the haunting nightmares that had held Lena captive for far too long.
Lena's waking moments became increasingly filled with the sense of Kara's proximity. She would wake up each morning wrapped in Kara's strong arms, the gentle rise and fall of her chest against Lena's back serving as a soothing reassurance. The nightmares, which had once been an unrelenting torment, remained at bay, their usual grip loosening with every passing night.
Lena reveled in the comfort of Kara's embrace and her eyes often lingered on Kara's serene features as they lay tangled together under the covers. Yet, amidst the warmth of Kara's presence, Lena was fighting her feelings.
Lena's feelings for Kara deepened with every night they spent together, the lines between friendship and something more becoming more blurred each night. She found herself captivated by Kara's laughter, drawn to the way her eyes sparkled when she shared stories of her day, enchanted by her bashful grace.
But Lena couldn't ignore the growing questions that tugged at her thoughts. Why was Kara staying over so often? The skepticism that had once colored her perception of others now cast a shadow over her moments of happiness. Lena's heart raced, her mind a whirlwind of uncertainty as she tried to make sense of the situation.
One evening, as they sat together on Lena's couch, wrapped in a blanket and sipping tea, Lena's resolve solidified. The time had come to breach the subject that had been gnawing at her. She looked at Kara, her gaze a mixture of curiosity and concern. "Kara, is everything okay?"
Kara turned her head to meet Lena's eyes, her expression serene yet guarded. "Mm, yes, why?"
Lena's lips twitched into a half-smile, the tension in the room palpable. "You've spent the last fourteen nights here. Is there something going on? Not that I don't love having you stay over—I really do. But if you're having problems with your apartment or something, I can help."
Kara's blue eyes flickered, her gaze momentarily shifting before she leaned in closer to Lena. Her fingers, warm and tender, slipped beneath Lena's shirt, tracing a path over the jagged scar on Lena's abdomen. Lena's breath hitched as Kara's touch sent shivers of sensation through her.
"You know every night on patrol, I fly past your penthouse to check on you? Just to listen to your heartbeat and make sure you're okay." Kara's voice held a mix of vulnerability and sincerity, her fingertips mapping the contours of Lena's scar as if tracing a roadmap of the past. "Especially since everything with Lex, since he hurt you. I heard your nightmares every night, Lena, and it pained me to see you so broken. And when I stayed over that first night, I noticed that the nightmares didn't come. So I thought maybe if I stayed over, you could sleep better."
Lena's eyes glistened with unshed tears as Kara's words sank in, the depth of Kara's care astounding to her. She felt a lump forming in her throat.
"Sorry," Kara continued, "I know I should have told you, but I know you would think that I was inconveniencing myself or something. But I'm not. I want you to be okay, Lena, and I'll do anything for you. If I could undo what happened, I would. But I can't, so this is something I can do for you."
Lena was speechless. Tears pricked at the corners of Lena's eyes as Kara's words washed over her, a wave of emotions crashing against the walls she had carefully constructed around her heart. Kara's selflessness had left her utterly stunned, and Lena realized that no one had ever cared for her so deeply, so unconditionally before. She couldn't hold back the tears that spilled from her eyes, the floodgates of her emotions breaking open.
Kara. Sweet Kara. Always there for Lena, always looking out for her. Lena had never felt such profound love before.
Moved beyond words, Lena leaned forward, her heart pounding against her chest. Her hand found Kara's, their fingers intertwining. Kara's gaze on her held her captive.
The floodgates of vulnerability opened, and before she could think, before she could second-guess herself, she acted on the feelings she had been hiding for so long.
Lena leaned forward, her heart pounding in her chest as she pressed her lips against Kara's. The kiss was a confession, an unspoken declaration of every feeling she had hidden behind those walls for so long.
Kara froze for a second and Lena's heart stopped, but just as quickly, her lips began moving against Lena's- a soft, desperate kiss. There was a vulnerability in the way Kara kissed her back, a raw honesty that stripped away any doubts Lena may have had. Her heart felt like it was going to explode. Kara was kissing her back and in that moment, nothing else mattered.
Time seemed to stand still as their lips moved against each other. Lena's fingers trembled as they found their way to Kara's cheek, her touch gentle and filled with wonder. The taste of Kara's lips was a revelation.
As the kiss finally drew to a close, Lena pulled back slightly, her eyes fluttering open to meet Kara's gaze.
"Thank you," she whispered, “for being here.”
And Kara smiled that blindingly beautiful smile, and whispered, "Always" before crashing her lips against Lena's once more.
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