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#will i be able to think of an idea and write it or will my brain decide to break and give me nothing
chilschuck · 3 days
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beach day headcanons please (any characters you’d like)!!! we were deprived of the typical anime fanservice imo
`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ ohhhhhh my gosh anon i was literally SO SO HAPPY to get this ask!!! decided to stick with the usual charas you guys enjoy, plus some falin!!! hope this turned out okay and thank you so much for having me write it for you!!! <333
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— DUNMESHI BEACH DAY HCS.
꒰ charas: ꒱ laios, chilchuck, falin, & mickbell.
꒰ warnings: ꒱ none! sfw + fluff with gn!reader.
꒰ wc: ꒱ 1.4k
✦ hope this turned out okay!! it was such a cute idea and so much fun that if anyone has requests for more charas, i’d be more than happy to do it!! <33
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— LAIOS:
✦ We know that he doesn’t do well in hot weather, so you can imagine he’d be sporting only swimsuit trunks and flip flops for sure.
✦ Definitely enjoys being in the ocean, especially to try and cool off. You can imagine he’d be really interested in knowing more about what’s in the water around him, and probably points things out to you that he finds interesting.
✦ Be prepared for him to burn really fast, so make sure he gets plenty of sunscreen!! It’s always cute to see him walk up to you and ask for help, in which you gladly oblige. You help get those spots he can’t reach, and he does appreciate just how thorough you are.
✦ You’ll probably end up splashing him, which he’ll return in kind. Be careful what you start, because you’ll end up drenched by the end of it!
✦ A picnic on the beach with him is definitely something that happens while you’re there. Laios is so excited to share a meal with you in such a beautiful setting, and finds himself giving you that goofy grin at just how happy he is. He makes sure to pull all the stops to make this enjoyable for you, even preparing your favorite snacks.
✦ Definitely goes home with a few shells or shark teeth, if he found any. Laios thinks they’re too cool not to pick up and examine, running over to you and showing you what he found in the sand.
“You won’t believe what I found!” Laios calls out to you, jogging over to where you sat on your towel. His hands cradled something, and as he stretched his arms out to show you, a smile grew on your lips.
In his hands was an almost perfect conch shell, something he held with pride and excitement. His smile matching yours, he said your name softly. “Do you think if you put it up to your ear, you’d hear the ocean like those stories?”
You shrugged your shoulders, not able to hold back the giggle at his glee. “Only one way to find out, right? Just make sure there’s nothing still living in it.”
Laios still keeps that shell in a safe place, wanting to remember the day you spent together.
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— CHILCHUCK:
✦ This man is definitely showing up in a Hawaiian dad shirt and cargo shorts. The first few buttons are undone, and he has a pair of sandals on that he insists he only saves for days like this.
✦ Chilchuck plans on staying at the spot you claimed with towels and an umbrella, a drink in hand. He’s definitely enjoying the sight of you in a swimsuit and the breeze ruffling your hair, but he’d never admit that.
✦ You try to pull him towards the water, but you only manage to get his feet wet. Chil tells you this is as far as he’ll go, but that disappointed pout on your face makes his heart race a bit. Ok, fine… Maybe he’ll go up to his knees for you…
✦ Probably spends most of his time drinking and relaxing, a hand behind his head and alcohol in the other. Very dad-like of him, you muse, which causes his face to heat up and grumbles to leave him.
✦ Ends up falling asleep, the sound of the waves and the secluded shade from the sun causing his eyes to flutter shut. You can’t help but laugh a little, returning from your time in the water to study his sleeping form. He looks so peaceful like this, and you don’t have the heart to wake him up…
✦ If you do somehow manage to get him fully in the water, be prepared for him to get targeted by the tide. Maybe you even suggest getting him a float, which he gives you that blank stare in reply.
“There, that’s not so bad, is it?” You say as he finds himself in the middle of a tube float, eyes narrowed towards you.
“This makes me feel like a kid.” Chilchuck complains, yet you see him grip onto it tighter as an incoming wave makes an appearance.
You pull it over to you, the inflatable bumping into your stomach as you give him that teasing grin. “Guess you’re stuck with me while we’re out here, huh?”
The half-foot groans, debating on whether or not he’d make it if he tried to swim back to shore right now.
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— FALIN:
✦ Wears a light t-shirt and shorts, opting to be comfy! She also has a hat she wears to help keep the sun out of her eyes. If she did plan on swimming, I like to imagine she’d have a swim shirt and a one piece swimsuit!
✦ Like her brother, she was excited to see all the shells and creatures at the beach, bringing you things she found fascinating. You might even find her entranced with a sand dollar and stating how pretty it is.
✦ Walks into the water hand in hand with you, but also really enjoys walking along the sand near the shore. As the sun sets, she intertwines her fingers with yours, leading you along and watching the pinks and blues in the sky reflect on the waves.
✦ Also definitely goes on a picnic with you, the beach making her cheeks even more rosy than usual. You can’t help but tell her how cute she looks in her outfit, her hair loosely blowing in the breeze. Falin would give you a sweet smile, the same one you fell in love with.
✦ Don’t be surprised if she leads you back to the water after you make sure she’s not getting burnt, insisting that she wants to enjoy how cool the waves feel. You’re more than happy to walk out a little deeper with her, noticing how she still keeps your hand in her own.
“It’s so nice out here…” You heard her mutter, a content smile dimpling her cheeks. The sunset left a sweet gradient in her hair, something that made you unable to look away.
“It really is. Too bad it’s getting dark,” you reply, a little disappointed that the day is already over. Falin squeezed your hand, pulling you away from your thoughts.
“Maybe we should stay and watch the stars come out.” Her voice was so gentle, causing you to give her a grin of your own.
“Let’s stay a little longer.”
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— MICKBELL:
✦ Like the official art we have of him swimming with Kuro, he’s definitely sporting a pair of swim trunks and flip flops, with his hair in his signature ponytail.
✦ He and Kuro are so excited to swim, and drag you along to the water as soon as you get there. Of course, Mick is either clinging to you or to Kuro when in the waves, not seeking to really swim on his own.
✦ You definitely enjoy watching them swim and play around more than you’d like to admit, especially with Mick hiding his face and complaining when Kuro decides to shake all the water out of his coat.
✦ Mick really likes finding shells he thinks look neat, and showing them off to you and Kuro proudly. Maybe you even find yourself building a sand castle, with him and his buddy watching closely and moving to help you. He’s in charge of decorating it, while you’re in charge of building it! Kuro helps dig up some of the sand to use.
✦ The three of you end up getting a sweet treat, cooling off in the shade and enjoying the time spent together. Knowing Mickbell, he’s going to lay his head in your lap as he rests after so much activity, looking up at you with that cheeky grin he usually has.
“I could get used to this!” Mickbell sighs, nuzzling into your lap as he makes himself comfortable. Kuro is watching the waves, sitting beside you as the sun begins to fade from the horizon.
“I would’ve thought you’d be ready to go home a lot sooner.” You teased him, brushing his messy bangs out of his face. Scoffing, he made sure you saw as he rolled his eyes.
“If I didn’t have you and Kuro, maybe… But this is something we’ll have to do again. Right, Kuro?” The Kobold nodded, causing a warm grin to spread on your face. He was certainly right about that.
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copperbadge · 2 days
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Lately, it's felt like every time I've started to work on writing, I'll just be getting into the rhythm of it when I get interrupted, either by work or the cats or because the time I'd booked in the library study room is up (you can only do two hours at a time, and only four hours a week total). It was getting to the point where I kept re-reading the same chapter or so of previous work but never managing to add to it.
So I tried an experiment this past weekend -- I found a really cheap rate on a local hotel room, and on Friday I took an overnight bag and a very old laptop with limited processing power and checked into a room about a mile from home for a quasi "staycation". I unpacked and had a quiet night on Friday, as prelude to working Saturday-Sunday. The idea was to write uninterrupted by other people, pets, the presence of all my Stuff around me at home, et cetera.
I had snacks but I also bought meals out, which was nice; I don't often order in or buy out when I'm at home. The way I set up was that I would do fifty minutes of writing with do-not-disturb engaged on my phone and then ten minutes of checking email, texts, etc. since often what pulls me out of writing is a text or an email that needs answering, or the anxiety that I'm missing one that would. If I set it so that every hour I check, well, nobody's going to die if something doesn't get answered in an hour, so the anxiety isn't there, and neither is the distraction. (I found a nice app for this, review later depending on how functional it continues to be for me, but it's a like $4 app called Forest.)
It worked pretty well -- writing for an uninterrupted hour, as long as I know what I'm working on, is very functional for me. I average about two thousand words, that way, though there is a limit to the number of hours I can put in. I ended up doing two hours in the morning and one hour in the afternoon, then switched from fiction writing to clearing out my tumblr drafts and some correspondence for the fourth hour. So it went something like
Go out and get breakfast, bring back and eat in room
Change into lounging clothes and do two one-hour sessions
Go out and get lunch, eat lunch out
Bit of a rest break back in the room
Two one-hour sessions, one of writing; when tired, switch to something that requires less creativity
Go out and get dinner, bring back and eat in room
And then in the evening the plan was to watch movies or catch up on reading, but I ended up being mentally weary, so instead I did some simple tarot reading. It was less divination or even meditation than just messing around, keeping the creativity stimulated; I did a couple of Creative Writing spreads, some very brief divination spreads (I nicked a nice three-card spread here that I mentally call He To Hecuba, and just used it in general rather than for a specific question) and then invented a spread when I was starting to get irritated that the same like, five cards kept coming up, more on this in its own post.
Sunday I did one more writing session but it was less successful, I think partly because what I was writing required a lot of research and partly because the previous day I'd dumped eight thousand words into the file. (Research took longer because I brought the most garbage laptop known to man, and the browsers crash if you try to open Google Maps, but in other ways it was ideal since there wasn't much I could do on it other than write.) But I had a good breakfast, got some rest, packed up easily enough, and headed home just ahead of the rain storm.
I don't think it's something I'll be able to do in that format especially often, since the deal I got on the hotel was an anomaly and Chicago lodging, even just AirBNB stuff, is stupid expensive. But in addition to helping get some work done it was a nice break, so I'm going to look into ways I could swing it on a perhaps monthly basis, or some other way to cheaply spend an entire day alone with decent access to a bathroom/snacks and a way to come and go easily. I've looked into coworking spaces before but they tend to be prohibitively expensive and don't really have the setup I'd prefer; there's a hostel on the north side with private rooms that I might try out but it doesn't seem significantly cheaper than a hotel. I might just have to pick one weekend a month and watch last-minute hotel price cuts where they simply want to fill a room for a day or two.
Anyway, functionally I wrote almost a fifth of a novel this weekend, and one that I wasn't feeling super on fire about; I'm feeling much better about it now that I've got some established plot going and I feel like I "know" the newer characters a bit better. (Also I'm enjoying writing Simon as someone who is absolutely entranced by his love interest and clueless that what he's feeling isn't mild antipathy because they met while fighting over ricotta.) So it was a big help, although if I were to put a budget line item in the Extribulum Press ledger for "writing staycation" it would wipe out my royalties surplus very quickly.
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starsillys · 3 days
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unable to draw/answuer things at the moment but rlly silly idea that just popped into my head<!!!!!! do you think. theoretically, if kinito were able to somehow break out the puter, he would'nt be able to speak at all? he doesn't have a mouth, and you know. theres no tts in they real world. do you think the little guy would jus have to walk aroun with a little notepad and some crayons and write what he needs to say to communicate/? i mean he probably can figure out how to communicate with sign language but the sake of those who don;t kn0w how to use it would he just scribble down inn his little notepad. hed decorate it with stickers,,, auhgh
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wishlistcharles · 11 hours
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secrets we keep (pt1) → mv1
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max verstappen x perez!fem reader
genre: one night stand, teammates sister, pregnancy
cw: 18+ MDNI, smut, oral (male receiving), p in v, slight spit play, dirty talk, mentions of pregnancy, pls let me know if i am forgetting anything
word count: 3.1k
song: too sweet - hozier
sidenote: hi everyone! finally a new fic is here and it's a max one! this is going to be a two parter, so keep an eye out for the next one! please let me know if y'all have any ideas or requests for a fic (I write for all drivers), also not beta read. hope you all enjoy <3
♡♡♡♡
The roars of the crowd were loud as Max crossed the finish line, followed closely by Sergio. For a second there you had thought your brother would overtake the world champion, but nonetheless he fought hard and gave the team what they wanted, a 1-2 finish. 
It wasn’t often you got to go to your brother's races, maybe only a handful a year but you were lucky to be able to get the time off to join your niece and nephews for the Japanese Grand Prix. Sergio would topple over if he knew you had the hots for his teammate. Every time you have met with Max, it’s been very cordial. Polite hellos, asking how life in Mexico is, what you have been up to since he last saw you. 
A part of you wondered why he was so timid with you. Was it because of Sergio? Being the baby of the family left him feeling protective of you, but you don’t think that would affect how Max interacted with you. I mean you barely saw him. 
Watching the pair on the podium set tears in your eyes. You were extremely proud of your big brother and his teammate. 
Your dad absolutely adored max and had invited him to join us for a celebratory dinner after the race. Which to your surprise he happily accepted. 
You were staying at the same hotel that both the bulls were at, so reconnecting for dinner would not be difficult. After the race you decided to head back to freshen up and change your clothes into something a little more fancy. At the race you were wearing a white tennis skirt with a red bull polo tucked in. For dinner you decided to wear a  black  over the shoulder dress that fit you perfectly. Finally ready you walk down and see that only Max is waiting in the lobby. Your stomach turns at the thought of being alone with him.
Picking his head up from looking down at his phone he notices you walking toward him and waves shyly. “Hi y/n, looks like it’s only us ready” he said in a tiny voice. You are always so used to him being outspoken it kinda scares you a little. “hi maxie, you know how my family is with time management, they should be down here soon” you said with a laugh, not even acknowledging the nickname that slipped from your mouth. 
A sudden tinge of pink washes over Max’s cheeks and you feel heat radiating up your neck. Act cool, you keep telling yourself but you are so nervous. Max was all you ever wanted in a guy. Handsome, sweet, confident, the list could go on. You knew deep down though your worlds would never clash well. You lived in Mexico with your parents - working as a teacher. Max lived in Monaco and raced for one of the best teams in formula one history, surrounded by models throwing themselves at him. You couldn’t blame them, you would do the same, if you thought you ever had a chance. 
“No worries, I always have to wait for Checo to come to our team meetings” he laughed. “I bet, if there’s one thing my brother isn’t know for it’s being on time, thank you for coming to dinner with us though, we really appreciate it, I know my dad and brother do a lot”
With a smirk on his face something shifts “oh just your dad and brother, not you?”. You feel the breath knocked out of your lungs, just as you are about to open your mouth to respond, tiny roars make notice in the room and you almost fall at your nephew running to you, so you could pick him up. Silently you thank your nephew for the interruption. 
Dinner goes smoothly. You sat at the opposite end of the table with the kids, while your brother, dad, and max were deep in conversation. You swore that Max kept looking at you though, sneaking glances. 
As the check gets situated, all of you make your way out onto the busy streets of Japan. You hear your brother speak up “Y/N are you gonna come get ice cream with us” and while you were deeply contemplating it, you decided to pass up the offer and head back to the hotel. 
“No I think I'm gonna head back to the hotel and pack, I want to take the kids to get breakfast tomorrow morning before we leave” you say.
“no puedes caminar solo es tarde en la noche” (you can't walk alone, it's late at night) your brother worries. 
“Sergio, I'm fine, it's not that far from the hotel, I'll grab a taxi” before he could protest, Max jumped in.
“I can take a taxi back with y/n, I'm super tired after the race, and I'll make sure she makes it to her hotel room” 
“Are you sure Max?” Sergio asks.
“Yes I'm sure, it was a lovely evening, thank you for inviting me” 
Your family bids their farewells and walks away, leaving just the two of you waiting for a taxi. As you guys are picked up, you both don't say a word in the car, sitting in an uncomfortable silence. Max pays the driver and you thank him quietly. Making your way up to the floor where both of your rooms are, you stop at his first. “Thank you for bringing me back Max, I appreciate it” 
“Of course it's no problem, hey I'm actually not really that tired, do you wanna play Fifa or watch a movie?” he asks. Something deep down is telling you to decline. Spending time with him is just going to dig you deeper in a hole with how you feel about him, nonetheless, you can't let this opportunity go and accept this offer. 
Walking in you notice the room is ten times bigger than yours, with a balcony and jacuzzi tub in the middle of the bathroom. Max must notice your awe because he says “I don't know why they give us such big rooms, we are hardly ever even in here”
“Haha it's nice for Checo because the kids get to play around” 
“You are really close with them, aren't you?”
“They are practically my own, when their mom is out doing business I usually keep them, I also help homeschool them” 
“Well that's very sweet of you” he says while taking a seat on the bed, while motioning you to do the same.
“Do you want something to drink” he offers
“No I'm okay” you politely decline. You still can't believe this, you are in Max Verstappen's room all alone. 
“Okay let's put on a movie! What are you up for, should we do action” you sense a sudden shift in his mood, you can't quite place it, maybe excitement. You believe he can probably sense that you are nervous. The mention of action makes your ears perk up.“Can we please watch fast and the furious, I am on a mission to have all my friends watch it”
Max doesn't protest, just laughs quietly and nods, setting the movie in place. You make yourself comfortable and take off your big hoop earrings and heels- even though they werent big by any means they still hurt you. Once you are back in bed with him, you notice him looking at you.
“Is there something on my face?” You laugh
“No i just guess I never noticed how different but similar you look from checo”
“Really? How so?” You question
“Well for one, you are very pretty, but you have the same freckles that Checo does covering your cheeks and nose” Max’s comment has you feeling shy, you know you must be sporting a prominent blush across your face and neck. 
“well thank you Max, it's funny because growing up, i never had freckles, but i think being out in the sun for races and the kids karting tournaments have really brought them to surface” 
“That's interesting, I admire how close to your family you are, something I wish I had” he says so quietly you almost miss it. You don't know what possesses you to do this but you place your hand over his and say “you are always welcome in this family max, we all love you, and no matter where sergio goes next year- you will always be welcomed with open arms” 
He stares at you with a blank face- unable to tell what he's thinking you begin to think that was the wrong thing to say when suddenly he leans down a plants a gentle kiss over your lips. You gasp at the touch. Max pulls back with wide eyes and says “shit I shouldn't have done that, Checo will kill me if he found out”. Instead of agreeing with him, you keep your hand held tightly over his and whisper “he doesn't have to know”. That's all it seems to take for max to lean back in and start kissing you. 
You grab the front of his shirt, gripping the fabric in your hands. His palm cups your jaw, slowly deepening the kiss. Once his tongue makes his way in, you let out a quiet moan. 
Grabbing your hips, Max shifts your position so that you are laying on the bed while he towers over you. “You are so pretty y/n, been wanting to do this forever” he says while tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. While you want to pour your heart out, your nerves stop you and all you can do is nod and say “want you so bad max”. 
He continues to kiss you, tracing his mouth up and down your neck and along the junction between your shoulder and neck placing feather-like kisses. There’s nothing more that you want then for him to leave a big bruise plastered for everyone to see but you knew that wasn’t possible. 
You grab his head and place your lips back on his. Moving his hand to your hair he grips it tightly, keeping you in his control. Slowly he rocks his hips down to meet yours, creating a union of moans to spill from the both of you. This must be the breaking point for max because he stops to take off his shirt and grabs your dress to do the same. Not before asking “is this okay”. 
“Of course it’s okay, I want all of you” you whisper out. His pants also come off in the process. Both of you left in your underwear. You could feel yourself soaked through your panties. Max moves his hand so that his thumb is slowly running along your slit through the fabric. A moan is pushed out of you with a quiet plea of more. 
Growing impatient you tug the straps of your bra down your shoulders exposing your breasts to him. This catches his attention because Max is on them immediately. Sucking and kissing them, basically worshiping them. “Fuck, these tits are perfect. They were practically popping out of your dress earlier, wanted to take you to the bathroom at the restaurant and just suck on them for hours” 
You would have never guessed Max to be into dirty talk but it’s a pleasant surprise. “I want you in me Max, please, I’ve been waiting for this” 
“How can I deny such a pretty girl? '' With that being said, Max gets up and walks to his bag to pull out what seems to be a condom. While he’s doing that, you shimmy your underwear down your legs and throw it somewhere in the room. Before he approaches the bed, Max takes his underwear off and you see his cock spring free. Your mouth instantly waters at the sight. He’s big, just like you thought he would be. Pale and veiny. Pink and wet at the tip.
You wanted him in you but not before you got a taste of him. You motion him up towards your mouth, so that his legs are on both sides of your shoulders. “I want to taste you, can I Max?” You said hoping your voice and eyes truly show the desire you have burning for him. 
“Go ahead sweetie, suck me off”
That’s all you needed to hear before taking the tip in your mouth, lightly sucking. Max groans at the sensation and places a hand behind your head for support. Popping yourself off the tip, you lick a long strip under his shaft, following the prominent vein that lies there. You place feather-like kisses on the head hoping to tease him. As you look up at him, you see his mouth slightly agape, eyes stuck on you. “Don't tease me baby, c'mon”.
You start to bob your head, up and down, making sure you move your tongue back and forth. You palm at his balls and hear a hiss, thinking he must be sensitive. 
“Fuck, you suck me off so good, this mouth was made for me, wasn't it y/n” 
You whimper at the words and try to push yourself further down his cock. Grabbing your head, he pulls you off and says “I need to get in you”. 
You nod your head fast and practically beg “please Max, please want you in me”.
As he positioned himself between your legs, he's looking directly at your core, you start to feel a bit insecure and try to close your legs, but he uses both his to keep them open. “You have such a pretty pussy, want to absolutely devour it” what he does next has you almost combust. He hovers his mouth over your core and lets a string of spit come done to coat you. Taking his index and middle finger he holds you open and lets another drop of spit fall on you. You are moaning so loud, you place your hand over your mouth to try and keep yourself quiet. 
Max places two fingers in you while simultaneously rubbing slow circles over your clit. You are desperate for him to get in you. “Max I'm good, you can get in me”.
That's all he needs to hear before he puts his condom on and sinks into you. The burn is unlike anything you have felt before. You were definitely not used to his size but the stretch was addicting. As he builds up pace, you place your hands over his back, your fingernails gripping onto his shoulders, it feels so so good. “Faster” you whisper. Max listens. You could already feel the coil in your stomach about to snap, what pushes you over the edge is Max’s dirty talk. “You wrap around me so good, best pussy I've ever had, what would people think if they saw my roommate's sister coming all over my cock” you can't respond, all you can do is moan.
Finally catching your breath you say “you feel so good Max, you are gonna make me cum” and you tuck your head into his neck licking a fat stripe near his Adams apple. “I'm gonna come too, come with me y/n”.
The next couple of minutes go by in a blur, you feel yourself clenching on his cock, cumming while he pumps in and out of you with his hand rubbing at your clit. He kisses you hard as he groans into your mouth. “Fuck that was good” he states and all you can do is nod. 
Max takes off his condom, and goes to the bathroom, returning in his underwear, with a warm washcloth. You feel embarrassed but you let him clean you up. You are left undressed so you ask if he could hand you your dress. The room is filled with an awkward tension. Max can tell because he lays down on the bed and pats it for you to lay with him. 
You feel like you should decline and be on your way, not wanting to overstay your welcome. But you genuinely don't think this will ever happen again and want to cherish what little time you have in the same proximity.  You lay with your head on his chest and his arm thrown over you with the tv playing in the background. Time passes quickly and within 30 minutes you hear soft snores coming out of max. You take this as your cue to leave. You slip yourself away and gather your belongings. Taking one last glance at him you smile and quietly make your way out of the room. 
You don't have a lot of time to reflect once you get back to your room because you have to shower, and pack for your flight in the morning. You don't know if you and Max will ever reconnect like that, but you are grateful for the time you shared. 
You don't see or hear from Max before you leave Japan, but maybe it's for the best. Your brother didn't expect anything and you are determined to keep it that way. 
The first couple of weeks back in Mexico were rough, slowly recovering from your trip. Around 6 weeks after being home and two more grand prix taking place, you feel sick, like a stomach bug has really knocked you down. It was so bad that you weren't able to go to the Miami gp like you wanted. 
Deciding it has been lingering for far too long you decide to go to the doctor. The first thing they ask you is if it's possible if you are pregnant. Your first thought is no, but you remember you and Max had hooked up around two months ago. You feel a pit in your stomach and your heart rate speeds up. You couldn't be right, he wore a condom, and you hadn't had sex for like a year prior to that. 
After you take your pee test, you have never been more scared or felt more alone. You want your mom here. After what felt like an eternity, the doctor came in with a smile and sat down. “Congratulations y/n you are pregnant”. The world came to a stand still and all you can do is cry. 
Because how in the hell are you going to tell your brother you are pregnant with his teammate's baby. How are you going to tell Max that you are pregnant? 
Simple. You won't. 
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ktficworld · 3 days
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Behind The Red Curtains
Pairing: soft dark! Steve Rogers x actress! reader
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Summary: You come to know that your success might not be solely because of your talent.
Warnings: 18+, dub-con, forced relationship, bondage, size kink, degradation + praise kink, choking, oral(f receiving ), unprotected sex( it's fiction, your life's not), dirty talk, explicit language, explicit sexual content.
(Let me know if I forgot something)
Prompt: Oral sex, overstimulation, praise, Mob au, Blackmail + Cum play + “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it? I think you even enjoyed it.”
A/N: So, this is my entry for the cum together extravaganza hosted by @labella420 and @stargazingfangirl18
I wanted to write this for a long time after the provocation by @biteofcherry 👀. I hope you all enjoy and this is my first time writing smut so, be gentle.
Divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more
Main masterlist
Steve Rogers masterlist
“Johnny Storm was seen with the new sensation in the modelling industry yesterday night. Rumor has it-”
You pressed the switch-off button with more force than needed as the squeaky voice of the anchor finally died down. Throwing the remote across the bed, you groaned in agitation.
You were dating Johnny Storm. Everything was going well, the meeting was story worthy, he was handsome, charming and had some good qualities you were looking for. This was the first relationship you got into since entering the film industry. Because you may be a hopeless romantic, but you were also choosy.
You didn’t know what happened in the process that just torpedoed your budding relationship. One day you were walking out of a cafe hand-in-hand and the next day, he was fucking some modelling sensation. Maybe you got lost in translation.
Or maybe he was just a fucking asshole. No matter what happened it showed you his true colors. That or instead of coming to you to talk out his issues, he went around, fucking and ghosted you.
Oh, but that was not the problem. The real problem was that you were shooting a movie with him. A romantic movie, with sex scenes. And you have no idea how you would be able to show any affection or chemistry on the screen without being awkward as fuck. This would be the best test of your acting skills for sure.
“Why do you look like you regret being born?” your friend and manager, Wanda asked as she entered your room.
You glanced at her and rolled your eyes. She was trying to lighten your melancholic mood but, it was of no use. “You know damn well why.”
She sighed. “I know, but you’re a great actress. You could easily pull off a serial killer then a rom-com is nothing for you. Don’t get worked up about it. Just imagine your celebrity crush instead.”
You laughed at that. You worked with people whom the masses considered celebrity and if you had a crush, you’d simply ask them out. So, you’re stuck in that department.
“I appreciate your support and I’ll get over this. Just give me some time. Is that why you came here?”
Wanda shook her head with a smile. “No, actually the PR guy told me to tell you to go to partage restaurant. Someone wants to meet you.”
You frowned. “You know if I started giving time to ‘someones’ then I won’t even be able to breathe. I need the specifics.”
“He didn’t tell me. Said the person didn’t want to be known till you meet them. But he said you need to go or they’ll be pissed and it could pose a problem to your career.”
Some rich asshole again. You pinched your nose in frustration. People really glamorised a celeb’s life but if they knew that you all have to play rich people’s puppets, they wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about it. 
“Fine, I’ll go. What time and day?”
“8 p.m Sunday.”
“Great. Now get lost, I need my beauty sleep.”
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Your heels clicked on the floor as you stepped inside the restaurant to utter silence. 
The usually bustling restaurant was deserted. There was no violin swimming in the air, mingling with the chatter of the expensive people, the polished tables had no spilled drinks and the fine plates had no leftovers. The lobby had no sight of a reception and all the staff had evaporated out of existence. You were half doubting yourself that maybe you arrived at the wrong time or date. Maybe the restaurant was closed.
But all of them vanished when a prim and proper lady approached you. You had never seen her before but you didn’t care to ask if she was new.
“Good evening, ma’am, you may go to the VIP area upstairs. Sir is waiting for you there.” She said in a professional voice.
“Yeah, sure. But can I ask why the restaurant is empty?”
“He booked the entire restaurant.” She said like it was the most normal thing in the world. It was not like this place costed more than the top-paying actors in the Hollywood.
You thanked the woman with a polite smile you went upstairs to get to the VIP section.
The he made you shudder from inside. Another sleazy old man who thought that you would open your legs for him just because he was rich was awaiting you and judging by the stunt he pulled. You’d have to be more tactful.
Reaching the shiny golden doors with a lion emblem, separating the demi-gods from the gods, you knocked on the door of the VIP room.
“Come in.” A thick and deep voice called out, making you frown. How come an old man has such a great voice?
Oh, but how wrong you were. Because, as soon as you opened the door, in front of you, sat a man who was far from aged. He was pure muscles. His rings sparkled in the chandelier lights. Draped in the finest black suit with his blonde hair combed back, sat none other than Steve Rogers, the mafia lord of New York. The one who you have been trying to avoid your entire career. Who posed as a successful businessman but everyone was aware of how he earned his dollars. Just, they were too afraid to acknowledge it.
You couldn’t move an inch, frozen from fear and surprise. You had only met him once, during the premiere of your debut film and people had acted like he wasn’t someone who could wipe them off from the face of the earth without even blinking an eye. That night, his eyes were glued to you like Hades's gaze on Persephone. So intense and consuming that you never wanted to see him again.
And now, here you were.
“Sit down, darling.” He husked out, the sound of alcohol filling his glass reverberating through the walls.
Breaking out of your trance with a gulp. You pulled out the chair and sat down across from him while your heart was in your throat. “Good evening, Mr. Rogers. What brings me the pleasure of your company.’ You managed to get out without your voice cracking.
He smirked and leaned back on his chair. “It’s your beauty, your talent and your creativity that brings you here, sweetheart. I’m a big fan of art and beautiful things, you are both of them.”
“Thank you…” You drawl out, expecting him to continue.
“I liked you the moment I saw you. In your pink dress, you looked so innocent, so shy. Overwhelmed by the media attention. I knew you would do something big so I gave you the freedom to shine and shine you did. However, it looks like your freedom has got to your head.” The last sentence was said with a lower voice and an ominous smile.
Your hands became sweaty as they clamped down on the armrest. “I’m not getting what you are trying to say.” You whispered out. 
His chuckle only made your heartbeat faster as he leaned forward and his gaze bore into your soul. “Let me rephrase, I claimed you the moment I saw you. But I knew you had potential so I let you go but your little dance with Johnny Storm made me realise it was time you became mine.”
“What-what did you do?” You choked out but you weren’t sure if you wanted to know the answer.
You yelped as he yanked your chair closer towards him till your knees were touching. Your chest moved rapidly as he leaned closer, his hands covering yours on the armrest.
“Awww, don’t play stupid, honey. Johnny, he’s a himbo and you are mine,” He said as his left hand moved to caress your cheek as you flinched away from his touch. “So, I pulled some strings, fed some mouths with dollars and your cute little on-set romance came to an end.” Your eyes widened in horror as he was the one that ended your relationship with Johnny. 
He gripped your face in his big hand and turned your head so that his eyes burned through yours. “Trust me, honey, I was generous with him. I could have him disappear and no one would have given a shit.”
“No.” You whispered, wrenching his hands away. You suddenly stood up from your chair, effectively surprising him.
“No?”
“That is not happening. I don’t want to be with you, I’m sorry.”  You stumbled back to the door but before you could touch the doorknob, you were whirled around and pushed against it.
“When did I tell you, you could say no?” Steve growled his hand wrapping around your throat. “If you think you can reject me then you are sorely mistaken, darling. Don’t forget that the production house you work with the most is mine.” 
You gasped. How could it be his? It was of Tony Stark, you scorched the earth and back and found no such connection. 
Steve noticed your reaction and tsked.“You didn’t know? Don’t worry, you are not stupid sweetheart. The public doesn’t know that Stark is nothing but my pawn.” His other hand snaked around to squeeze your ass through your jeans and you screwed your eyes shut as his touch sent tingles through your body and your breaths became shorter.
He tugged you closer to him with your neck, his breath fanning over your skin. “Now, do you still want to be stubborn?”
Now, you were no dumbo. If Steve can jeopardize your relations with his production then he can also ruin your entire career. Mob involvement in the film industry is an unsaid rule. However, you didn’t know their claws were so deep and sharp.
“And what if I leave? Leave this industry?” What could be more precious than your pride?
He gave you a lopsided grin. “Then you’ll just be the wife of Steve Rogers who was an actress. Remember princess, I’ll never leave you alone. If I held onto you for three years what makes you think I’ll not find you and drag you to my hell?” 
Tears threatened your waterline as you murmured. “You are really forcing me?” What a stupid question to be asking a mobster.
He let out a throaty chuckle and moved his hand from your neck to his pant pocket however he was still invading your private space as his lips were inches away from your lips. “I’m giving you options: either come willingly or I’ll force you. Your choice, darling.” 
He fished out a silver card from his pocket, tracing the sharp and cold edges of it on your face, meandering down your neck and stopping only when it reached the valley of your breast. You gasped harshly when he slid the card inside your bra, the chilled hard paper resting against your warm skin.
“My number, call me when you make a decision. You have one week.”  He whispered against your lips before sealing the unspoken vow with a kiss.
With that he slipped away from your body and took his seat again like dark clouds gilding away from the moon before shortly, engulfing it once again. He resumed sipping from his glass like nothing serious happened and said nonchalantly. “You can go now.” 
You ran to your car like you were burned. Which you were, your soul was burning. Burning from the choices you were given. Which was essentially choosing which cage you preferred better, golden or grey.
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“Did you like the dinner?” Steve asked in his deep voice as he sat across from you at the dining table.
Blinking your eyes away from the full moon that shone outside the dining room window, you glanced at Steve and nodded. “Yes, I liked it.” 
You did come to him willingly in the end, after all, what choice did you have? The moment you admitted your defeat and called Steve flashed in front of your eyes. His smug and triumphant words ringing in your ears.
“Nice choice, princess.”
“You seem to like the moon a lot,” Steve observed as his piercing gaze never left you, noting your every move and reaction.
You looked down at your hands, clasped in front of you. His presence still sent chills of fear down your spine. His imposing figure and intense gaze made your heart race. Not to mention the way his eyes sparkled with desire and lust whenever they laid upon you.
“Yes, the night is beautiful.” You replied softly.
“Do you want to go upstairs? In the balcony for a better view? I also have a very pretty garden.” Steve offered and you refrained from frowning. 
From the moment you accepted his advances, Steve has been acting like the perfect lover. Sending flowers, expensive gifts, wanting to have nice and deep conversations and supporting you in your work. But still, you couldn’t decipher if he was actually being nice or plain manipulative.
However, you had grown tired, sitting and chatting in the room, the walls suffocating you. “I would like that.”
Steve grinned and stood up from his chair, taking a few long strides he reached you and offered you his hand. “Let’s go.”
You gave him a tight-lipped smile, slipping your hand in his, you got up. You sucked a sharp breath when his hand tightened around your smaller one and his eyes grew darker. You ignored the building tension as he led you upstairs, to the balcony.
His mansion was spectacular, painted beige with marble murals. It resembled old French castles with intricate paintings from Greek mythology on walls to railing carved with various plant and flower motifs.
When he said he enjoyed beauty, he wasn’t bluffing.
Stepping on the top floor, there was a lounge area with a fireplace on the right and a couch on the left. In front was the glass door leading to the balcony. Steve opened the door and you had to hold back your gasp as the view was absolutely breathtaking. 
It had the same marble railing as before and also had a sitting space for two people with two chairs and one glass table, perfect for a cosy morning or evening. The balcony ran along the entire top floor, connected with all the rooms.
However, the main highlight was the enormous garden that stood before your eyes. Tall trees were perched vertically of all types, some bearing fruits, some flowers and some none. Speaking of flowers, bright, colourful flowers adorned the garden like jewels. Rose, jasmine, sunflower, etc scattered all over with moonlight pouring on them.
It was straight out of a princess movie and you could spend your entire life wandering inside it, reading books under the tree shade.
“It’s gorgeous.” You whispered to Steve as you stepped forward, leaning on the railing.
“I know, my mother made it. She wanted me to keep the garden big and flourishing. So, I put everything I could to keep it perfect.” Steve revealed and moved behind you, his body pressing against yours.
You were so engrossed in gazing at the garden that you missed his hand coming to cover yours and he laid a soft kiss on your cheek.
“What are you doing?” You questioned as you tried to step away from his grip but he had you trapped.
“Enjoying my view,” He said as he gripped your hips and pressed them against him, his semi-hard cock pressing against your ass. “See what you do to me?”
His lips trailed down, kissing and sucking on your neck. His left hand travelled from your hips to your breast, he squeezed the underside of your tities while grinding his erection against your bottom. Your breathing was getting heavy as he continued to massage your boobs and sucked on your neck, collarbone and shoulder.
You had to refrain from biting your lips. His strong body and demanding moves were making you unwillingly wet. But he forced you into a relationship you didn’t want, you didn’t want this, right?
“I don’t want to do it.” You whispered despite wanting nothing but his hands under your scarlet dress.
“No?” He chuckled. “Let’s check, shall we?” He whispered seductively in your ear.
Your eyes widened as you thrashed in his grip but he stopped all your attempts to deny the truth with a hand around your neck and a squeeze that made you go still. His other hand glided under your dress and found your panties damp.
“Your pussy proved you wrong, princess.” He said with a smug laugh. He sucked at your pulse point as his fingers moved your lace panties aside and caressed your folds. The suddenness made you let out a choked moan as your hold tightened on the railing.
His words embarrassed you but you couldn’t deny that his touch was making your body betray you. He played your body like an instrument.
His fingers ran along your petals, spreading your arousal and brushing your clit, his index finger teasing your entrance when he abruptly stopped.
You blinked, gasping and panting. You were about to glance at him in confusion when he bent you over, your head resting against the marble railing as he went down on his knees, bunching up your dress around your waist. He ripped off your panties, the sound heating your cheeks with humiliation.
“You deserve to be punished.” He said through gritted teeth as he slapped your clit, making you jerk at the delicious sting as he spread your legs wider for him so your pussy was on full display. Wet and ready.
“Spank your ass till it’s burning for going out with that pathetic excuse of a man Johnny or have Bucky watch you as I fuck you senseless. He’s also a fan after all." He spread your labia and sucked on your clit, making you moan out loud as your stomach flipped.
“But I can’t, because this pussy is too tempting of a distraction.” He lamented as his lips went down to your pussy and his tongue teased your cunt with slow yet precise strokes.
Your left hand moved to his hair and tugged on the blonde locks as his administration made your clit pulsate with need. You couldn’t decipher whether you wanted him to stop or continue.
He tutted on you pulling his hair. You whimpered at the loss of his mouth on your pussy when the clicking of his belt echoed in the empty space. He yanked both your hands behind your back and secured them in place with his belt, the grip firm but not harsh. 
“No.Touching.” He growled in your ear as his words were accentuated by a slap on each of your buttcheeks, making you whimper in pain and pleasure as you let your forehead rest against the cool marble and he knelt again.
He took your clit in his mouth again but with more ferocity as your pussy clenched around nothing, “Oh my god, Steve yes!” You mewled.
“Captain or I won’t let you cum.” He commanded as his fingers joined in and drew slow and teasing circles around your cunt.
“Captain, please.” You pleaded as your orgasm started to build up in your stomach.
“Good girl, that’s my good girl.” He finally eased his index finger inside of you, his thick and long finger filling your pussy and you were afraid as to how you were going to take his cock as his finger alone stretched your vagina.
He pumped his finger in and out of you all the while kissing and sucking your clit. When you bucked into his finger he added another one, exploring your velvety walls to find your spot that would make you sing. He curled his fingers when you dripped around his fingers and mouth.
“Mhmm, captain. Feels so good.” You cried out as your climax was approaching you faster, your skin glistening with sweat under the pale moonlight. It was so embarrassing, being this crying and moaning mess he had turned you into. His hands kneading your thighs and ass.
“Are you going to cum, princess?” Steve asked in a husky voice as he kept up his pace, replacing his mouth with his thumb to grow circles around the bundle of nerves,
Your skin was on ablaze, the coil tightening in your belly as you were tethering on the of falling apart. “Yes, Captain. Please let me cum.” You requested, spellbound. He didn’t need to ask you to beg, you were already sliding into your subspace. His finger found your g spot as he twisted his fingers, making you whimper as your breath shuddered.
He snickered, sending vibrations through your body. “I didn’t know you were so obedient, good to know.”His hand came down on your clit and it was the final straw that threw you over the edge. 
You came with a loud moan as the blinding pleasure brought tears to your eyes and you gushed around his lips and fingers, coating his chin. He lapped all your juice, his pace not halting as he drank your nectar greedily.
Your body was quivering from the force of your orgasm, your heart racing as you tried to collect yourself.
Steve got up on his feet and you almost collapsed when he wrapped a sturdy hand around your shaking body, pressing you against his chest. He jutted your chin up and grinned down at you. “Aw, you already look so fucked out darling but it’s just the beginning, we have the whole night.” He smashed his lips with yours, swallowing your tired whimpers and moans.
After devouring your mouth and leaving you breathless. He picked you up and started walking to his left. You were too dizzy to notice your surroundings till you were hitting silk bed sheet and plush mattress. You glanced at Steve through your hazy vision as he stood at the end of the bed.
He smirked down at you. “How about you return the favour, sweetheart? Strip.” He ordered and it was enough to clear your mind of any hangover.
Your hand snaked to your back and you slid down the zipper and pulled off your dress, your breast clad in red lace coming into view as you completely removed the dress and discarded it on the floor.
You then unclasped your bra, trepidation and anticipation mingling together as your boobs spilled out. Now, you were completely naked, your panties already torn and tossed away.
“On your hands and knees.” He commanded as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt, his abs and chest made your mouth water and you wanted to grab and touch him but shook away the thoughts.
You got on your hands and knees, clothes rustling till the bed dipped behind you. Steve ran his hand up your spine, sneaking underneath to grop your breast. You mewled as his thumb tweaked your pebbled nipples, twisting and flickering the buds till you were writhing under him.
His other hand smacked your ass, causing you to whimper. “Spread your legs more, I want to see that pussy.”
You spread your legs some more, displaying your glistening cunt to Steve’s hungry gaze. “You have such a pretty pussy.” He said as he played with you enough that you were whining before he rubbed the tip of his cock over your cunt, spreading your arousal and his pre cum.
You shuddered, you had an inclining that he was big but how much? That you didn’t know since you couldn’t see his dick from your position.
He slapped the head of his cock on your pussy and you visibly shuddered. He did it a few more times before you were dripping for him and was on the verge of sobbing in frustration. 
“Such a shame that it is about to get ruined by my big cock.” He declared and pushed the tip inside you. You moaned as you awaited your eventual mounting.
You clutched the silky sheets as he slowly bottomed out, your walls spasmed as they tried to accommodate his length. You were so full already and he was gracious enough to give you time to adjust. All the while he explored your body, kissing your spine, kneading and spanking your thighs, ass and breasts. His touch was electrifying and in no time, you were whimpering for him to move.
“Ah, someone is getting impatient.” Steve mocked but began moving out of your hot channel. He was slow and deliberate, his girth dragged through your walls and your pussy fluttered.
He hissed. “Don’t do that darling if you want to walk the next day.” He pulled out all the way, only the tip remained inside. Pushing your head further into the pillow as he slammed inside your cunt in one stroke, taking your breath away.
“Look at your pussy, pulling me in and clenching around me,” He grunted as his hold on your hips tightened. He looked where you two were connected and sighed in awe. “I didn’t know you were such a slut, you look so innocent. But look at you now, dripping around a man’s dick you barely know,” He pulled out again and thrusted back in with the same power. The slow yet rough pace he set made you cry out in pleasure as your climax started to stir in your lower belly again. “But I like how cockdrunk you are that you just don’t give a shit anymore.” He groaned and pulled out.
He changed his angle slightly and when he thrusted back again, he hit your g-spot and you screamed, flames of pleasure intensifying. He tugged you by the hair, pressing you against his toned chest. “Tell me that you are my slut.” He growled in my ear.
“I’m your slut, Captain!” you said breathlessly as his deep thrusts made you gasp.
His hand came to your clit and his thumb started drawing circles, making you tremble in his grip. “Yes, you are my slut. My fuck toy, who would let me do whatever I want and whenever I want with her because I own you now. Repeat what I have said.” He thrusted harder and if it wasn't for his strong grip, you would have fallen down. 
“I'm your fuck toy. You can do whatever you want and whenever you want with me because you own me now.” You cried. 
“Such a good obedient girl- Ahh, taking my cock so well. Now, you are going to ask me to make you cum.” He groaned his thumb sped up. Leaning down, he sucked on your pulse point, surely leaving a hickey, marking you as his.
“Please Captain, let me cum! Let me cum around your big cock.” You squealed out. Tilting your face upwards he kissed, hard and rough, you moaned against his lips as you tasted yourself on him.
“Good girl, now cum for me.” He demanded as fingers and thumb pinched your clit, his cock hitting your sweet spot in quick succession.
You shrieked ‘captain’ as you came around his girth, squirting on his dick. “Good, what a good little slut for your captain.” He moaned in satisfaction as he nibbled at your earlobe, fucking you through your release. 
He let go of you when your shaking died down. Your face fell on the pillow as you tried to catch your breath. Your fucked out mind didn’t register that he didn’t come till you were being flipped on your back. Coming face-to-face with his annoyingly handsome face.
“You didn’t think it was over, did you?” He rasped with a smirk as he plunged into your cunt once again, but this time with more fervour.
You instantly mewled but the overstimulation and coming two times had worn you out, you weren’t used to this. You attempted to scoot away from Steve. “I-I can’t, too much.” 
He pulled you back down on his cock, wrapping your legs around his waist. He restrained your hands over his head with one hand, leaving you unable to escape the pleasure he was giving you. “You can and you will. Get used to it, sweetheart. I’m being gentle right now,” He growled as he moved on top of you.
The pace was rough and fast, the bed rattling with each thrust, your boobs jiggled from the speed. He placed his hand on your lower stomach. “Do you feel me here?” He asked, the belly bulge sending shivers down your spine.
“Yes, I do, Captain.” You managed to choke out as he pounded in your pussy mercilessly.
“Then enjoy it, honey. Enjoy, writhing and moaning underneath me. My cock stretching your tight cunt, because that’s where you belong. Taking my cock like a good little fuck doll.” He husked as the force of his thrust increased with each passing second. The pain and pleasure mixing made tears fall from your eyes, the knot tightening yet again.
Steve leaned over you, kissing your tears, trailing down to your neck and then your boobs, groping and licking the plump area before taking your pebbled nipples into his hot mouth.
“Oh my god!” Your back arched, pleasure zapping through your body like thunder as his hot tongue sucked on your nipples and his hand massaged your other breast. All the while his thick cock rammed into you, his pubic areas brushing your clit.
Your hands jolted to touch him but he had your hands pinned above. You shut your eyes and enjoyed the unyielding pleasure he was bestowing upon you as pressure built up for the third time in your stomach. Your moans and his grunts bounced off the wall, so did the clapping sound of skin slapping against the skin.
Suddenly, his grasp loosened before coolness touched your ring finger. You looked up as he slid a beautiful sapphire ring into your finger, sealing your fate with his forever. You managed out a surprised gasp. He brought your hand down and pinned it to your side, giving you a proper view of the ring as it sparkled under the stark glowing moon.
“Imagine me, sweetheart,” Your breath caught in your throat as his speed grew frantic, his cock hitting the deepest part of your cunt as he chased his own release. “Imagine me when you have to romance on screen with some pitiful A-list actor.” He whispered in your ear, intertwining your hands with his as he kissed your lips. It was softer than the previous ones but no less demanding.
“Imagine me when you have to pretend to fuck someone on set. Because I know,” He whispered against your lips before lowering his hand to your clit and he drew fast circles on the bundle of nerves to help you fall apart. 
Steve cursed under his breath and thrusted faster when your walls clenched his dick. “Because I know that I have ruined you for any other man. Ruined this pussy for anyone except me. So, imagine me when you kiss a man and realize that he’ll never make you feel this good.” You nodded along his words as tears streamed down your cheeks, smearing your eyeliner and mascara but he paid no heed to it. Rather, enjoying your fucked out state.
The fullness of his dick inside your pussy and the overwhelming stimulation finally tipped you over the edge as you came the hardest and it hit you like a tsunami.
After some more brutal thrust, he came inside of you with a loud groan. His hot cum spilling inside your abused cunt as it milked him dry. He pumped into you a few more times, giving you every last drop of his seed and staying inside your warm channels till his cock softened.
He put his forehead against yours as he finally pulled out and you almost whined at the loss of dick but restrained yourself as his cum leaked out of your hole.
Only heavy breaths echoed in the spacious room as both of you caught your breath. You were beyond regaining your previous strength as you couldn’t even move a muscle. However, Steve recovered shortly afterwards as he kissed your forehead and whispered smugly. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it? I think you even enjoyed it.” 
You didn’t answer because he was right, you enjoyed every bit of it even if you didn’t want to. Before you could drown yourself in self-pity. Steve picked you up and took you to his bathroom to soak you in a nice, warm bath…
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wordsarelife · 2 days
Text
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞
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pairing: theo nott x fem!reader
summary: you agree to theo’s ask, on your on terms, and the tension continues to rise
warnings: height difference mentioned, i have zero idea how to play a guitar or how hard certain songs are to play so just act like anything i say is the truth haha
notes: i really love them so much! i haven’t been inspired by writing in such a long time! i hope you like it as much as i do!!
you had wiped away the tears as soon as you had walked out of the hospital, straightening your back and thinking about which direction would be smarter to walk in.
you would come home no matter what, this small town was basically a circle, it was just the question of which way would be faster. you weren't keen on walking longer than necessary.
"forgot the way home?" a voice beside you made your head turn.
"what do you want?" you asked annoyed as you saw theo walk closer to you "i'm leaving, okay? you don't have to try to get rid of me anymore"
"pixie, i didn't mean it like that" he sighed and tried to touch your arm, but you turned your body away from him.
"i know exactly how you meant that" you protested "and i don't know what you still want now. you won, okay? you won ages ago, but you're the one who always picks a fight"
"pixie" theo muttered and you could hear the regret in his voice.
"don't call me that"
"y/n" he said and you looked up in surprise. you couldn't remember when your name had last left his mouth. "i'm sorry"
you raised your eyebrows. "you're sorry?" you repeated, almost laughing. "i don't think i ever heard you say that before"
you wanted to go home, so you just decided on a random direction and started walking, to your luck, theo was following you.
"okay, get to the point, nott" you demanded "what do you want from me?"
theo sighed once again, understanding that there was no way he could trick you into agreeing, he just had to ask. "i need your help, i mean, we need your help"
"you need my help?" you repeated skeptically. "is that one of your awful pranks again?"
"no" theo shook his head. "i promise it's not"
"okay, then lets hear what you need"
"enzo can't play the concert"
"i know as much"
"yeah, sorry" theo brushed a hand through his hair, unsure how he should ask you.
"there is that word again" you pointed a finger to his face. he gently pushed your hand away. "i could get used to this"
"yeah, don't flatter yourself" theo mumbled aggravated.
"there he is" you laughed sarcastically.
"we need a guitarist" theo came straight to the point "april says you play.." he paused, unsure how to finish his sentence "good"
"you want me to play guitar for you?"
"not for me" theo tried to rephrase it "for the band, the boys"
"why should i do that?"
"i know you hate me, pixie. but you don't hate them, do you?" he almost sounded like he was pleading.
"thanks to you i'm not really friends with them anymore, theo" you remarked bitterly "they were my friends just as much as yours and they still sided with you"
"it's my fault, okay?" theo said helplessly "is it that what you want to hear? that i was childish enough to poison your relationships?"
"that's just it, theo" you shook your head "i don't want to hear anything from you anymore, but you keep on talking, keep on writing songs. why can't you let go of things?"
"you know i need to write to cope"
"yeah, i know" you nodded your head "but anytime i hear one of your stupid songs it physically hurts. you might be able to cope through your writing, but i will never be able to do that"
"it's one song, pixie" theo rolled his eyes.
"so you admit that you wrote pixie dream girl about me?"
"that's not the point" theo argued.
"oh, yes it is" you laughed, while you quickened your steps, so theo had it harder to keep up with you, even if he was taller.
"okay, fine" theo sighed "pixie dream girl is about you"
"i know" you smiled "what about daddy issues?"
theo send you a painful look, almost as if you were torturing him with your question.
"do you want me to play guitar or not?"
"daddy issues is about you too" he finally muttered.
"thank you. now, was that so hard?"
theo send you a look. “will you help us?”
"i'll think about it" you patted theo's shoulder, before you continued walking away. he thankfully caught the hint and stayed where he was.
"not too long" he called behind you and you just raised your hand, showing him your middle finger.
theo ran into april when he walked back to enzo's room.
"you're leaving already?" he asked surprised.
"yeah" april shrugged "i want to look after y/n and enzo's coming out this evening, i'll come back to his then"
"okay"
"what did she say?"
"she'll think about it"
"she didn't say no?" april wondered and theo shook his head "huh, i thought she would, after everything.." she shook her head, as if to get rid of that thought "you should feel lucky, theo"
"i do" he quickly nodded. "see you, april"
"bye, theo"
you were staring at the ceiling as the sudden sound of the door made you look up.
"hey" april smiled, as she closed your door behind her "your mum let me in"
"did she get up for once" you nodded with fake impress.
"y/n" april sighed and you could hear the pity in her voice.
"don't" you shook your head and effectively shut her up "how's enzo? how much longer does he have to stay in the hospital?"
"he's coming home tonight" she let herself fall on the chair in the corner of your room. "maybe you want to come and visit him with me later?"
"after everything that happened today? i'll pass, but thank you"
"enzo promised that it'll be just him and mattheo"
you sighed "i'll think about it"
"i really see no reason why you and the rest of the boys just can't stay friends, y/n"
"theo is the reason we can't" you noted "i think it's better for all of us if we keep a distance between us"
"that's gonna be hard if you play for his band"
you sighed deeply "you're in on this too?"
"actually it was enzo's and my idea" she admitted as she looked anywhere but you "you're the only one who is as good as him and you're able to play most of the notes"
"yeah" you sank back down "but i don't know if i really want to. i mean theo is still theo, he can try to be nice all he wants, but he will never get out of his skin"
"the rest of the boys will make sure that he behaves himself" april promised "mattheo told me himself"
"mattheo told me the same today and you know how it ended"
"sometimes you two are a real mystery to me" she muttered "you know each other so well, well enough to know which buttons to push. he can make you cry with only a few words, it's scary"
"you said it" you pointed your hand in her direction "he never knows when it's enough"
"and you do?" she laughed "you're just as bad as him. you should've seen the look in his eyes as soon as you left the room. it's like you both can't be with or without the other"
"i don't know what you're talking about" you shook your head.
"you always say that you just want him to stop speaking to you, but i can see how much you enjoy these discussions, even if you're just fighting. you missed him and this is the only way you can spend time with him"
"that's not true, april"
"yes it is, sweetheart" april said softly "why don't you just tell him that you miss being his friend? everything could just go back to normal, if just one of you makes the first step"
"it's not as easy" you argued "too much happened, things you don't know, things i can't speak about. it's too late to rekindle anything"
"y/n, if it's about le-"
"please just let it go"
"okay" she nodded, accepting your wish "but what are you going to do? will you help them?"
"yes" you nodded "i mean the rest of the boys didn't do anything, right? and i don't want to poision your and enzo's relationship before it even began"
april smiled while her cheeks turned bright red "i hate you" she laughed and you just shrugged, before you stood up from the bed and took the blog, writing a message for theo.
i'll do it. but only under certain conditions. mattheo will receive the list later
"happy?" you asked april, who was grinning from ear to ear.
"yes" she giggled "now let's sort out your conditions"
it didn't take you long to come up with the things that had to change for you to start helping them. april had, surprisingly, a few ideas herself, (april is allowed to watch the rehearsals), making your list three points long.
you accompanied her later to visit enzo, which was, admittedly, a bit unnecessary considering she had already visited him in the hospital, but it seemed like both her and enzo deemed it important for his survival.
luckily, april had been right. it had only been enzo and mattheo. they both were smiling widely as you told them that you would help. enzo promised you to be there for every rehearsal (let alone because april would be) to help you learn the songs the way he played them.
mattheo seemed to enjoy the way you were nicer to him when theo wasn't around. you had always liked him, he was easy to get along with, but the last year you had learned not to enjoy his teasing and joking personality. you apologized for the day before, realizing that you had been quite harsh and that he really thought you would find the song funny.
maybe you would’ve had, but a lot had changed and mattheo understood that you couldn't find humour in it right now.
they promised to show your list to the rest of the band and tell you in school how and when rehearsals would start.
april and you left after two hours and you could tell she was beaming. in her opinion, playing in the band meant that all of you would be friends again and the hope alone was enough for her.
"here it is" mattheo held the folded piece of paper in theo's direction.
"be honest, mate" theo said "is it manageable?"
"it is" enzo said. he was sitting on the stone wall in the middle of draco and blaise. mattheo was standing next to theo in front of them.
"okay" theo sighed, before he unfolded the paper. "y/n's conditions under which she will safe theo's petty little-" he held the paper in mattheo's direction "i'm not reading this"
mattheo giggled, before he cleared his throat as soon as theo send him a look. "y/n's conditions under which she will safe theo's petty little-"
"you can skip the beginning" theo interrupted "just get to the point"
"fine" mattheo rolled his eyes "rule one: april is allowed to watch the rehearsals"
"yeah, fine, whatever" theo nodded, while enzo was practically jumping up and down. "anyone has a problem with that?" the three other shook their heads and mattheo continued reading.
"rule two: theo is civil”
“can you do that?” enzo wanted to know and theo nodded reluctantly.
“okay and the final rule: we can’t play pixie dream girl”
“sounds alright” blaise shrugged.
“what do you say theo?” draco asked as he noticed the priors facial expression.
“we can’t do the third one” theo explained between clenched teeth.
“what?” enzo asked “why not?”
“when i talked to mr fraser on the phone i showed it to him and he made me promise that it’s one of the tracks we play”
“okay” mattheo shrugged “then you just call him and tell him that we can’t play it”
“he said it’s important that we play it because it’ll impress his boss. we got many streams on the song and it’ll make us stand out against the other bands”
“fuck” draco jumped from the stone wall. “can’t you find a way to play?”
“yeah” enzo shrugged "i'll just play with my feet, no problem, draco”
“let’s all calm down” blaise said, trying to diffuse the situation.
"it's seems important to her that we don't play the song" enzo remarked.
"yeah" mattheo muttered.
"okay, what if we just not tell her? i mean six weeks is a long time, maybe she'll say yes when we ask her later?" blaise suggested.
"that might not be the worst idea" mattheo nodded "maybe if we'll be able to be friends again, she might play the song"
"it's worth a try, right?" draco asked in theo's direction.
"i don't know" enzo shook his head "she will absolutely hate us when she finds out we lied to her. she'll feel betrayed"
"it's just a song" draco crossed his arms "what's her problem?"
"i am" theo shrugged "and the song reminds her of that. fuck" he groaned.
"what do we do, boss?" mattheo asked "do we lie to her? she might understand it once we tell her it was our only chance"
"i tell her we accept her rules" theo nodded as he gripped the paper from mattheo "not one word from any of you, you hear me? this is our only chance to get that stupid record deal and if it means to work with the enemy we will do that"
"the enemy" mattheo rolled his eyes "you're getting dramatic again, theodore"
"you know what i mean"
before anyone could agree to his terms, april and you walked up behind the boys.
"hey" april greeted and immediately stepped into the emptys space next to enzo where draco had sat.
"hi" you said, a lot less happy "how does it look?"
"we accept your rules" theo nodded "rehearsals are every tuesday, thursday and saturday at five. we have to rehearse a lot if we want that record deal"
"great" you nodded "how much time will we have on stage?"
"fourty-five minutes" theo answered "i'd say we try to rehearse all ten songs before we decide on those that we want to play"
"not including pixie dream girl, right?"
"right" he nodded.
"great" you smiled "then we have a deal" you held your hand in his direction, so you could finalize everything with a handshake.
"yes" theo nodded "do you have a guitar or do you need enzo's?"
"i have one" you nodded, before you excused yourself, so you would be on time for your first class of the day.
the next time that you saw all of them was during the first official rehearsal on saturday. you had spent the entire friday searching for old notes forba few of the songs that you still owned somewhere. theo had given you the missing ones when you had stood in front of his door in the evening and you had tried to play as much as possible and it was admittedly not working bad.
"hey" you greeted the boys when april and you walked into the garage. april slumped down on the couch next to enzo as if someone had held a gun in her direction and you looked between draco and blaise. "where should i stand?"
blaise directed you to the empty space next to the microphone stand.
"where are matt and theo?" april asked and you perked up. you would have rather died than asked yourself, but you were still wondering.
"they're on their way" draco answered "mattheo made a few cds to hand out to people and they are getting them right now"
"cool" april nodded impressed.
"you're only now making cds?" you asked surprised "isn't that like one of the first things bands normally do?”
"generally, yeah" enzo nodded "but in a time like this, most people only listen on streaming platforms so we never really saw the need for it"
"now that we're getting more known, it's more professional" blaise added.
"okay" you nodded "i get it"
"bonjourno" mattheo waved as soon as him and theo entered the room a few minutes later.
"french?" enzo wondered.
"that's italian, sweetheart" you could hear april mutter next to him. you giggled into your hand as you noticed the lovesick look enzo was now sending in her direction.
"you're so smart, april"
"are you ready?" theo asked you, once he took his stance behind the microphone.
"sure" you shrugged, before you took the guitar and plugged it in.
"we'll start with blood//water. the notes should be relatively easy to play"
theo counted and pointed in your direction as soon as it was time for the guitar part to set in. just shortly after, theo began singing. you of course had heard him sing before. you had listened to the songs, but you had never heard him so clear, so raw.
we'll never get free lamb to the slaughter what you gon' do when there's blood in the water? the price of your greed is your son and your daughter what you gon' do when there's blood in the water?
you switched your fingers, picking up the pace of the melody as soon as the pre-chorus set in again. mattheo was changing between playing the bass and clapping his hands. draco was making quick movements on the keyboard, changing the setting to let it make different sound effects and blaise was hitting the drums so hard, your ears almost blew off.
but despite all that you could only focus on theo and the sound of his voice. the way it looked so effortless and hard at the same time. as the pre-chorus ended and the chorus set in, he was full on screaming into the microphone, the veins on his neck showing the strength his voice was using.
i am the people, i am the storm i am the riot, i am the swarm when the last tree's fallen the animal can't hide money won't solve it what's your alibi? what's your alibi? what's your alibi?
when there's blood in the water
when the song ended, april began to clap. "that was amazing!" she complimented "blood//water is my favorite song on the album"
"thank you" mattheo smiled "you were really great, y/n"
"thanks" you nodded "i think this one is one of the easier chord compressions"
"the next song would be daddy issues" theo looked in your direction expectingly.
"do we have to play that one?" you asked "i mean it's so slow and you won't probably play it anyway"
"she has a point" mattheo shrugged.
"i think we should play all the songs" theo argued "so that we can change the setlist until the last minute"
"good point" blaise nodded.
"come on, guys" enzo, who saw the discomfort on your face added "y/n is right, it's way too slow"
"boss?" mattheo looked to theo.
"we should at least play it this once" you sighed as you noticed that theo wasn't going to budge.
"okay" mattheo nodded "you ready? i think the chords are quite easy for this one too"
you were looking straight across the room, but nodded at his words.
theo counted again and you started playing the chords on the paper in front of you. maybe this wasn't as bad as you thought. you would just have to concentrate and blend out theo as much as possible.
take you like a drug i taste you on my tongue
theo's voice almost made you shiver. you moved your fingers along the guitar.
and you might have to tell me again it's crazy what you'll do for a friend
you had listened to the song about a million times after it had come out, but now it was like you were hearing it for the first time. and the softness in theo's voice was going to break your heart, you were sure.
you didn't know if the rest of the boys knew the song was about. you were guessing that only enzo was slowly getting the idea, as he was the only one who had noticed how uncomfortable you had gotten once theo mentioned it.
you doubted that the others new. theo wasn't one to run around and tell everyone what the meaning behind his songs were. you were sure they knew only half the things theo knew and you were glad for that.
go ahead and cry, little girl nobody does it like you do i know how much it matters to you i know that you got daddy issues
you thought back to days in the backyard of your house. how theo came climbing up into the treehouse and would just sit next to you for hours.
when you felt brave you would cry in his lap, but sometimes you weren't able to and theo understood you in a way that no one else did.
he had brushed your hair aside, whispering about the future, wonderland, something that did not sound like it could be real, at least not to you.
he told stories about a world in which your dad was better. a world in which he loved you as much as you loved him, as much as he loved-
go ahead and cry, little boy you know that your daddy did too you know what your mama went through you gotta let it out soon, just let it out
maybe there had been a time where he hadn't planned to use that song against you. a time where he wanted to show it to you so it could console you and your pain. now it just felt like ammunition in an ongoing war.
you were still staring at the wall across from you as a few tears slipped over your cheeks.
and if you were my little girl i'd do whatever I could do i'd run away and hide with you i know that you got daddy issues
you took off the guitar as soon as the song had ended, breathing a shaky breath. "could we take a break?" you asked theo, who, if you weren't mistaken, looked a bit guilty now that he saw the look on your face.
"sure" mattheo answered, while theo continued to stare at you. "are you alright?" he touched your shoulder and it took everything in you not to start full on crying at the gentleness in his voice.
"let's sit down" draco sighed.
"do you want to see the cd?" mattheo smiled and you nodded as you quickly wiped over your eyes.
he held it in your direction and you smiled as you recognized the cover that they had used on spotify. "it looks amazing"
"turn it around" mattheo advised and you did as you were told.
your breath hitched as you saw the photo on the back.
theo cleared his throat at the lack of reaction from you "that's"
"leo" you finished "i know" your fingers gently moved over the boys back. you recognized the white shirt, the black trousers and the bracelet on his left arm. you were wearing a matching one.
"the photo is from last year" mattheo explained "from when theo and leo wrote most of the songs. i thought it would be the perfect one to show who we are"
"it is" you nodded "thank you" you looked up at mattheo and he gulped as he noticed the tears in your eyes. you held the cd in his direction before you stood up. "i need a breath of fresh air"
you walked out of the garage and sat down on the bench in front of the lake. you sat there for ten minutes before you decided it was time to return back inside. 
mattheo had told his friends to settle down and end the rehearsal for today, much to theo's dismay, who basically tried to kill you with his eyes when you came back inside. 
"i don't get why we have to stop" theo muttered "we only got through two songs. what got your knickers in a twist, huh?" he turned his head to look at you, but instead of rushing away, you returned his angry look. 
"you" you said with a roll of your eyes "the rule was to be civil and you're acting like an idiot, theodore" 
theo laughed at that and you were even more angry. 
"fuck you, mr rockstar" you held up your middle finger. 
"i'd love to see you try, miss stuck up" 
you looked at april betrayed when you heard her giggle. 
"even your friend agrees with me" your head snapped to the side. 
you stepped closer to the boy, until you were only a few centimeters apart. the others watched you with big eyes. "do you want to repeat that, darling?"
you could see theo gulp at the proximity, before he quickly caught himself and smirked down at you. "are you trying to kiss me, baby?" 
"no, but seems like you are thinking about kissing me, sweetheart"
mattheo sighed loudly and both you and theo turned your heads, only realizing now that you were the center of attention. 
"that was kinda hot" blaise muttered under his breath and was immediately elbowed by draco, who did not take his eyes off of theo and you. 
"shut up" theo said quickly and you had the sudden need to defend blaise, just because it would get a rise out of theo. 
"seems like your friend agrees with me" you crossed your arms and smiled provocatively "you totally have the hots for me" 
"i hate you"
"finally something we can agree on" you grinned, before you turned around and grabbed your bag. "bye" 
the rest of the group said goodbye while they were still astounished at how you had basically won a fight against theo. 
"oh shut up" theo said quickly, when you had left the room and blaise opened his mouth. 
taglist:
@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101
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loverboy-havocboy · 3 days
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I saw the ask you answered from another anon about cloneshipping, and I balled my eyes out. I'm a closet cloneshipper too. I came into the fandom about a year ago and ended up with the antis before I even knew what that meant.
I've started to secretly follow cloneship blogs, but I'm a decently popular fanfic writer in the anti group, and I really don't want to lose my readers by coming out 😭
I've never written a cloneship fic, and I mostly write x reader, which I know is a whole different topic for another day, but I love the content you all put out!
I put a short, non-aggresive blurb on my blog that I don't cloneship to appease the masses, and several cloneship blogs blocked me. It's sad, but I don't blame them. I've seen the hate spewed out by antis, and it's just disgusting.
Well, thanks for that list of friendly cloneship blogs, and thanks for being so nice to us in the shadows ❤️
👤 Incognito Anon
i'm really glad that post was able to help you in some way, friend. i'm gonna be honest, i had no idea it was so common for people to feel trapped in anti circles, and it makes me so sad. we should all be having fun - that's what it boils down to.
being a writer myself, i understand the fear of losing your reader base. i only have one non-shipping work, but i have at times wished it could be separated from my cloneship writing because i'm really proud of it and i know that shrinks the amount of people who will interact with it. however, i'm proud of ALL of my work. all of it brings me joy - and not just that, but it brings other people joy. it's meaningful to them.
all that to say.. i think sharing my work with a small group of people who cherish it feels better than having a larger audience. but i know that's just me personally.
if i may, i'd like to encourage you to make a side blog where you can interact with fandom in a way that brings you joy, and an alternate ao3 if you ever want to dabble in cloneshipping fic. maybe you’ll always stay in both places separately, maybe you’ll find that one feels better than the other and make the leap eventually. regardless, the option is there, and we'd love to have you.
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nhlclover · 18 hours
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so american | rutger mcgroarty
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word count: 1.35k
summary: on your way to the spend a weekend at the lake house with his teammates, you think about your future with rutger
warnings: british reader!, mentions of some other umich players (nick, duke brothers), brief sad thoughts
notes: based on 'so american' by olivia rodrigo. who am i if not writing fics based on songs.
The morning sun was beginning to rise, casting a golden hue on Rutger’s jeep that rumbled down the highway, its tires humming against the asphalt. Rutger sat in the driver's seat, his left hand holding a loose grip on the wheel, while you sat comfortably in the passenger seat, your feet were propped up on the dashboard. Rutger insisted you hit the road early to get to Jacob’s lake house around mid-morning. You felt that was a little too early, but he was excited to spend some spare time at the end of the semester with his friends and girlfriend, relaxing on the water. To make up for the early start time, Rutger bought you an iced coffee and promised that you could sleep in the car on the way over.
However, you couldn’t find yourself able to fall back asleep, instead taking over aux, the early morning air that flowed through the cracked windows helping to rejuvenate you. You tapped your fingers against the door handle, matching the beat of the song you’d selected. Dirt On My Boots by Jon Pardi filled the space, a contented smile gracing your lips.
“You’ve turned so American.” Rutger says, pulling your brain out of its brief daze.
“What?” You ask, your brows furrowing.
“I mean… look at you,” Rutger says with a chuckle. “You’re sitting there with your feet on the dash, you’re listening to country music, and you’re repping USA merch.”
Rutger motions to one of his hoodies that you’d thrown on as you were leaving. It was one given to him by the world juniors team he’d just played on, the letters U-S-A largely displayed on the chest.
You turned to him, adjusting your position in the seat. "Oh, please, don't say that. I'm still very much British, thank you very much." You retort, rejecting the idea that you’d become American in any way.
When you applied for an exchange to the University of Michigan, nothing could’ve prepared you for what would’ve come. On your first day of classes in the new country, you met Rutger. When a pretty girl sat next to him in one of his classes, he knew he had to talk to her. It didn’t take long for the two of you to develop feelings, Rutger soon being the ‘dreamy American’ that your friends had jokingly told you you’d fall for. And fall for him you did.
It was unfair of Rutger to make you feel this much when you both knew your future was uncertain.
“Hey, there is nothing wrong with being American.” Rutger points out.
“Yeah says the American.” You tease, rolling your eyes. “Thank god I’m going home soon. I need to reconnect with my roots if you think I’ve become American.”
Despite that being a joke, you couldn't shake the underlying sadness that gnawed at you. In just one week, you were leaving Michigan and returning to the UK. The thought of leaving Rutger and the life you’d established in Michigan weighed heavily on your heart. You knew that the bond you’d established with Rutger would withstand the miles and borders, however the prospect of being separated from him felt like tearing away a piece of you.
Rutger, sensing the shift in your demeanour as well as knowing that the inevitable move was weighing on you, reached over, taking your hand in his. His cold fingers lacing between yours quickly drew you back to reality.
“Hey,” He said softly. “Try not to think about it for now. Enjoy this weekend. We’ve got ages to figure it all out.”
You squeezed Rutger’s hand drawing comfort from his touch. With a gentle smile, you met his gaze, gratitude shining in your eyes. “Thank you, Rut.” You said softly.
Rutger returned your smile, turning his attention back to the road while keeping your hand in his. You continued the drive, doing your best to expel the thoughts of leaving from your mind.
Three hours later, Rutger pulled down a laneway that ultimately led to a large house on the water. Rutger’s teammates were already outside, eagerly awaiting your arrival.
“Hey guys!” Rutger called out as they stepped out of the car. Rutger’s teammates come over, greeting the two of them.
“This place is beautiful.” You comment, admiring the glimpse of the water you could see past the house.
“God, I will never get over the accent.” Nick said. Rutger shoved his shoulder while you playfully rolled your eyes.
You considered yourself lucky that you’d become friends with Rutger’s teammates. From the moment Rutger introduced you to them, they’d welcomed you with open arms. And as you spent more time with them, they weren’t just Rutger’s teammates, they were your friends as well.
“Alright, now go get changed, we’re hitting the water.” Luca said, ushering the two of you inside.
You headed up to your room, changed into the swimsuits you’d brought, and then headed downstairs to meet the rest of the group. The rest of the afternoon, you guys remained on the water. You all took turns on the tube, as well as some of the boys deciding to test their water skiing skills. When the sun began to descend towards the horizon, a golden hue being cast on the water, you headed back to the house to start dinner, which was a full team activity in which everyone was put to work doing something. You and Rutger were put in charge of the barbecue on the back patio, teaming up with Dylan and Tyler to grill the burgers and corn.
After dinner was demolished, you headed down to the fire pit, relaxing in the Adirondack chairs, talking about whatever came to mind. The flames cast flickering glows on everyone's faces as you discussed sports, your exams, and random childhood anecdotes whether relevant or not. After a while of drinking and chatting, both you and Rutger hit your limits and decide to call it a night.
The second that Rutger’s head hits the pillow, he’s out like a light, the day’s activities catching up with him. After a full day of tubing and waterskiing, combined with the drinks they’d consumed throughout the day, everyone was wiped. You, however, lay awake, the moonlight reflecting off the water and into the open window.
You traced your fingers through Rutger's hair, watching his bare chest rise and fall with steady breaths. With the tranquillity of the room enveloping you, you find yourself lost in a maze of thoughts, your mind swirling with visions of Rutger and the future they could share.
England was home. England was where you grew up, where your family and friends still resided. The thought of leaving them to be in North America made your heart tense. However, lying in the sheets and staring up at the ceiling, you couldn’t help but imagine moving to North America to be with Rutger. As you look over at him, still peacefully asleep, you imagine the prospect of uprooting your life for the American boy you fell in love with, of bridging the distance to be with Rutger.
Your thoughts continue to wander, picturing what could come of life in America with Rutger. Your mind entertains the notion of marriage, a distant yet possible milestone. That might be a little presumptuous of you, with your relationship still being in its infancy, but you practically couldn’t help it. The way he’d made you feel in the past 8 months was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. Every moment with him felt like a moment torn from a romance book. Every moment with him was filled with laughter and stolen glances, creating an undeniable intimacy and connection.
You had to eventually force those thoughts out of your mind or else they would’ve kept you up all night. You rolled over, curling into Rutger’s side, and placing a delicate hand on his abs. Rutger stirred momentarily, instinctively wrapping his arm around you, drawing you closer. For now, you were content to simply be in this moment with him, cherishing the time you had left before you had to return home.
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entomolog-t · 6 hours
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Random post, but its been on my mind for weeks now. I get lots of asks talking about people being lurkers in the g/t world, or when people finally dive in, lots of us mention just lurking around the community for years. At the end of the day, it's your comfort level, and all the power to you, but let me do my lil car salesman pitch to any lurkers who happen upon this.
The g/t community is small. I see fantastic art on here that will get 200-400 notes, maybe break 1000 if you're lucky. Writing? Typically under 100 notes, with the occasionally popular story getting a little more. On any given one it's usually just a handful of comments, if that. I've seen a lot of amazing creators come and go, just feeling like "What's the point?" Or that they're shouting into a void.
Your participation in a community, regardless of if you create or not, brings with it that little boost of appreciation and support. In such a small community, you're able to engage with creators far easier than in larger spaces. I remember just reading and saving pictures to my phone years ago. Just casually enjoying g/t by myself and thinking that was all I wanted. But there's nothing like actively participating- making friends, having people build on your little ideas, and being able to tell creators how much you enjoy their stuff.
We've all been lurkers, but just know that if and when you're ready to interact, people will be happy just to have you here.
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animentality · 23 hours
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not to be a boomer, but I do worry about the current generation of kids being raised with iPads.
first off. some of them literally can't hold a pencil because their parents never gave them physical toys to grip and play with, developing their fine motor skills.
you might ask why do we even need to learn how to write physically anymore- well, frankly, because if you're stranded on an island somewhere and you need to write HELP, you might not have the strength to hold a pencil, but you can at least hold a stick.
but on a more general note.
writing by hand helps you remember things better. it forces you to focus in a way that typing something word for word does not. a person can transcribe what a professor says without even thinking about it.
someone writing notes has to consider what to write and what to omit. it also activates more parts of your brain, forcing you to flex the parts of your brain related to learning and communicating, while also engaging the part of your brain dedicated to muscle control and precision.
but in general, I think the issue isn't even oh technology is bad and kids are getting dumber.
you can have PowerPoints AND take physical notes. that could help you learn even better than the olden days where you just had to remember everything that was thrown at you. or read very limited, out of date books.
the problem is that the generation that raised/is raising this generation of children just doesn't understand the true impact that all this technology will have on their kids. or they just don't care.
because our generation had the internet yes, but it wasn't widely accessible for most of us, sharing our computers with the entire family in the kitchen. it was also the internet in its infancy, where it wasn't quite so predatory, when it was lawless and disturbing, yes, but it wasn't weaponized by corporations trying to sell you things and steal your data, it wasn't flooded with bots and ai and all sorts of things that the human brain can't even distinguish as real or fake, especially when you're just a little kid.
that generation still played with physical toys. we celebrated when it snowed and we could stay home.
we also came from a gen that still, vaguely, cared about some form of community and had third spaces for kids to hang out.
90s children, who still had some memories of both playing outside on a playground and playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo 64 with their friends, who both went out to the mall and had a club penguin account.
we grew up with laptops and smart boards. maybe some of us had them in high school or college, but we still physically went to class and developed relationships. learned uncomfortable things about ourselves and others, the way humans do.
met new people and were exposed to new ideas, away from our parents. but not from some fucking influencer trying to sell us Sephora products.
we had to study for things, instead of just being able to Google shit for some bullshit online test.
which is also something that really concerns me. so many kids today can so easily Google answers for every test, and while tests don't ultimately matter in the real world, they still provide some basis for things that do matter.
like I'm just imagining medical students googling how to perform an appendectomy on the day of, and just using a YouTube tutorial to guide them through, and shuddering.
there are some things that the Internet can't teach you.
there always will be.
but I don't think my generation is really helping their kids find the balance that we were given naturally growing up.
the boomers and gen xers had fist fights and we had bullying someone online until they committed suicide.
and now kids use AI to spread fake nudes of girls.
but the laws haven't caught up with a lot of this stuff yet, and certainly won't while we have dinosaurs running our government. and culture takes even longer to change than laws.
I also worry because I know how badly covid affected kids worldwide. how they struggle to read and do math, because remote learning just isn't good for kids.
and I can't even blame them!! I literally teleworked for 4 years and even I can admit that I'm not nearly as good at focusing at home as I am in the office.
it's hard for kids with social anxiety and disabilities, yes I know, I know, trust me, I have social anxiety, and as a hybrid worker ATM, I highly doubt I'd be able to handle 5 days a week in the office.
but it's also not particularly good for kids to stay home ALL the time, entertaining themselves in their room and never being challenged, and never meeting people other than their parents.
the iPad is more of a symbol of that problem than the direct problem.
if your entire... world view is limited to what you can see on your iPad... I mean what a terrible world view you'll have.
you're a 10 year old using TikTok and all you ever see is the same opinion over and over until you can scarcely comprehend people who have an opposing opinion.
you see fake videos that seem so real. that must be real, and so comforting, aren't they, those videos that seem so real?
you let 30 year old influencers who are trying to grift people shape your world view.
and it's not even your fault.
your parents aren't doing anything to help you.
you're young and you're being barraged with entertainment and fake educational videos and how to guides that accidentally create mustard gas in your toilet.
your parents should be teaching you to find a balance between these things. they should be telling you what's real and caution you about the things you see.
they should limit your fucking time on the iPad actually. take you to a fucking park and let you roll in the mud or some shit.
and then when you're a teenager and a young adult, then you can start deciding for yourself what you believe.
but a lot of these weird millennial/gen z parents, man. just let your 1 year old scroll through vids on TikTok while you don't even talk to them or look at them once.
maybe it's because they don't see the harm in it, but I don't get it.
adults can watch TikTok all day and know, ahhh this is bad for me. I'm not doing anything I actually want to be doing.
adults can see other adults doing dumb shit and say ah you're sponsored. someone paid you money to say and do that. silly.
but kids are just kids.
they don't have discipline and frankly, that's not their responsibility. that is yours.
you should be teaching them that they can't have everything in life at their finger tips at all times, actually.
the iPad doesn't solve all of your problems, nor will it think critically for you.
so I worry about if humanity can really keep up with its own technology.
our species is still in its infancy, believe it or not.
so maybe these are just growing pains, and future generations will be able to look back on this era and know the proper balance.
but as someone living in 2024.
I wonder just how much pain is left before we really mature and either make it or break it.
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forgeofthenine · 3 days
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How do you think things would play out if insecure human Tav had feelings for Dammon, but she mistakenly thought he was hitting on Karlach all those times he helped her with her heart? With Tav being oblivious and mistakes that it’s because she is human and that Karlach is a tiefling that he has no interest in her, but in reality he does. How do you think Dammon would respond if there’s a little comment like: “I know it’s Karlach you were hoping to see.”
I'm not sure if I leaned too into the insecure descriptor in the prompt, especially after not doing any writing for so long, but I hope everyone's able to enjoy. I missed my main man so much <3
She isn't you
"I know it's Karlach you were hoping to see."
You can see the whites of Dammons eyes grow as soon as the sentence leaves your mouth, shock washing over him. It's something you'd tiptoed around for months. The way Dammon looks at Karlach, how he gravitates towards her, how that kills you inside. No one could blame you for falling for the sweet blacksmith with his easy smile and firm confidence.
He'd spent these past months giving your companion the gift of touch back, laughing at her raunchy remarks and looking at her like she'd hung the moon and stars. Hours were spent in his forge fixing her heart, idle chatter between the three of you the only real entertainment. Hours of inadvertently third wheeling them all because of your own unrequited crush. Karlach was your friend though, and if they were happy then you weren't going to interfere.
His lips part slowly. Beautiful, chapped lips you so desperately want to kiss but know you never will. Soon, Dammon finds his voice again. He seems so genuinely confused, as if he can't understand where you got that idea.
"Why would I want Karlach when you're here?"
A long tail flicks behind him, nearly taking out a table leg. A concerned look covers the blacksmiths face as he leans in, hands spreading over his workbench. "Not that Karlach isn't lovely, she is, but I'd prefer to have you here." Dammon clarifies carefully.
It's your own turn to gawk now, looking at the teifling standing there in the firelight. You'd never expected this, to have him so quickly disagree with something you were so certain of. "But... Aren't you and Karlach..." You trail off, unsure of how to word things, picking at your nails.
"Aren't we... what? Seeing each other?" Dammon asks, rounding his work bench with a small chuckle, the wooden floor creaking under steady steps. "Is that assumption what's held you back?" His calloused hand takes yours, smoothing a thumb over your skin as the tiefling draws in your gaze. Blue eyes crinkle at the corners with a small grin, a teasing smile appearing on the blacksmiths face.
"Well, isn't it true?" You gape, gripping his hand. The new brazenness draws a full laugh from the tiefling, topped off with a shake of his head. It's a dumbfounding revelation, after months of near torture watching the two of them only to find out none of your assumptions were true. "Stop laughing, I'm being serious-" You insist, a small frown growing on your face.
Dammon calms himself, still grinning down at your pout. "I know, and I'm sorry." His voice is lower now, missing that teasing lilt you love so much. "There's nothing happening between Karlach and I, promise. I did ask her for some advice, though." He adds, gently squeezing the hand enveloped in his.
You cock your head, wondering whatever advice he could've gotten from Karlach. Something to do with Avernus or leaving the hells? Something tiefling related? The visible confusion almost makes Dammon laugh again, but he contains himself. Instead, a firm tail snakes it's way around your leg, winding around you with a firm pressure.
"I wanted to know how best to ask one of her friends out."
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last-herondale · 2 days
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What We Almost Were
(Almost Pt 10 I.)
Bucky Barnes x FemReader!
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Warnings: none
Angst, heartbreak, healing
AN: Welp. We are nearing the end here. This will be the second to last post of this series. I hope yall have enjoyed this as much as I have writing it! It’s pretty long so buckle up 😝
Enjoy 🤘🏼
It was odd how calm you were. You expected to find yourself pacing the kitchen of Tony’s kitchen, or fiddling with the placement of the pillows on the couch. Instead, you decided that waiting around the house was no way to spend your day. So, you opted for going outside and walking the beach. He would be here by the end of the day. That’s all your correspondence from Tony said when he called you.
Bucky would be here soon.
You weren’t shocked to receive his letter, not entirely. After not seeing him for months, not talking to him for months… You had been a bit surprised he hadn’t written to you sooner. You had given out your address weeks ago, and yet he hadn’t written to you until now. At first you thought that he truly didn’t care anymore.
That idea sat in your head for a bit. It bothered you at first, but then you started to realize that maybe this was for the best. You no longer worried about whether or not he thought about you. You couldn’t control him or what he did. You could only control how you chose to react. And so you didn’t. Slowly, over the weeks, the fear just fell away into nothing. And you continued that. With every worry, with every fear.
You just let it go.
What you had been shocked by was your response back to Bucky’s letter. You had thought long and hard about what you wanted to say. You mulled over it for at least four days before writing a single line back.
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It was short. It was simple. But it was enough.
It was a beautiful day on the islands. The sun was out and there was a thick heaviness to the air. It was forecasted to rain later in the evening. Part of you hoped that maybe his flight would be delayed, or that maybe he would decide not to show. However, you knew the likelihood of those things happening were low. So you took a deep breath, and made yourself ready to face whatever the day would bring. You knew it would not be easy, seeing him again, but you realized the day you read his letter, that this was necessary for your peace.
And with that idea planted in your soul, you allowed yourself to be content with whatever happened today. It was the most free you felt in a long time. You looked out at the waves, watching as they crashed against the rocks in the distance, how the water foamed at the shore by your feet.
This was freedom. This was peace. And you were enough. You deserved it all.
~
When I arrived, the house was empty. I was overwhelmed at first by the smell of the place. Vanilla, sage, and the faint scent of black pepper in the kitchen. It was all of the smells I had grown to associate with you. I didn’t realize I had missed it these long months without you, your scent. There were books scattered across the living room, along with a crumpled up blanket on the couch. The image of you curled up reading a book in the midmorning sun brought a warm smile to my face. I called out for you, softly at first, but upon not hearing a response back I opted for going outside.
I was grateful for Tony. He had provided you with a beautiful place to stay. The waves were crashing in the distance, and the clouds overhead were beginning to darken with the rising wind. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist being outside, even with the weather turning sour. So I started walking.
I was glad for this moment. A quiet moment in your space to think. I had been mulling over what I wanted to say to you for weeks. I only put so much in the letter that needed to be said, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you with my blubbering apologies. I feared you wouldn’t respond. That was my fear. More silence.
The thought of you cursing me back, telling me to leave you alone, that you hated me. At least it would have been something. I would have known you were okay, that you were safe. Even though everyone back at the tower assured me that you would be perfectly fine, I still worried. It was hard to believe in what I couldn’t see, but I always held out hope. And being here now, walking along the same beach where you had been spending your time, brought me peace.
I didn’t stray far from the house, but I continued to wander along the shore, looking for some sign of you. My heart was aching terribly. It had been since you left, but the knowledge that you were so close to me now had made it a thousand times worse. I thought about turning back to the house once the sun began to set, but then I spotted footprints leading off into the distance. My heart lurched in my chest.
You were at the end of this path. It made sense. My life had taken a very different turn when you entered my life, it was only fitting that however this moment in my life would end, that it would end with you. So I walked forth into my uncertainty.
I found you soon after. The shock of seeing you hit me like a freight truck. You were asleep in a soft patch of grass, lying up against the trunk of a palm tree. Your skin had tanned since the last time I saw you, and your hair had grown significantly in length. This environment suited you. You looked peaceful. You were breathtakingly beautiful.
I had no desire to disturb you and interrupt this wonderful scene. So, I found a place to sit nearby. I tried to share my attention with you and the waves crashing around us, but no matter how hard I tried, which admittedly wasn’t very hard, I couldn’t stop looking at you– for fear you’d disappear…again.
~
You must have fallen asleep after your walk. There was a soft patch of grass near a small alcove of palm trees where you liked to read during the afternoons. It was only when the soft cool drops of the beginning rain fell on your skin that you slowly opened your eyes. The sky had grown significantly more gray as the day wore on. You rubbed at your face, trying to rid yourself of the sleepiness.
“Hey, Doll,” his familiar voice called from your right.
You froze momentarily, then slowly lowered your hands away from your eyes as the scene unfolded before you.
Bucky was sitting on a log, a few feet away from you. He had cut his hair, and his beard was neatly trimmed down close to his face. He was wearing a red t-shirt and his black leather jacket that you loved so much. He looked good, at least better than you had seen him in the past. There were no longer circles under his eyes, and there seemed to be a certain liveliness about him that you hadn’t seen since his breakup with Nat.
“Hey, Buck,” you said gently, sitting up a bit against the tree.
The drizzling rain was peppering his shirt, leaving dark splotches of water in their wake. He gave you a small smile, staying silent, clearly wanting you to begin the conversation. You took a steadying breath.
“It’s nice to see you,” you began, “You look well.”
Bucky’s smile grew a bit. “You look good– er, great actually… I mean– you look happy.”
You couldn’t help but grin a bit at Bucky stumbling over his words. It was hard to remember that he was a very skilled assassin and soldier. Someone who could kill with the finesse of a practiced ballet dancer. The Winter Soldier. A title that invoked fear to any that heard it. None of that had ever mattered to you. To you Bucky was always just a man, and he was proving that to you now.
“I am. It's been nice to get away from everything,” you frowned a bit as you spoke, “I’m sorry for leaving how I did. I’m not proud of it, but–”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Bucky interjected softly, “I understand why you did. You don’t owe me anything, really. Steve understands too…”
Your heart ached in your chest at the mention of Steve’s name. He was one person you had not expected to hear from at all. After everything you did to him.
“Does he hate me?” you asked in a small whisper.
Bucky looked shocked by the question. “Of course not! He understood better than any of us your reason for leaving. He convinced me not to run after you the day I found your note and–”
“You found my note?” you asked.
Bucky’s face turned a bit red as he dropped his eye contact with you.
“I– yeah, I went to your apartment after our fight. I wanted to apologize– I wanted to–” Bucky seemed to be choking on his words.
You stood up from your spot by the tree. The movement made Bucky stop talking. You didn’t face him, rather you just looked out to the ocean. The rain wasn’t falling hard, merely a drizzle. You felt the warm breeze brush across your skin.
“It’ll rain soon. Walk with me back to the house.”
You didn’t ask him. In the past you would have questioned yourself in order to cater to what he needed, but now you didn’t even think to ask. You only noticed this when he took his steps silently beside you. The smell of leather and pine drifted from Bucky as he walked beside you. You hadn’t realized you could miss a smell so much. After a few moments, you took a breath and turned to him slightly.
“How have you been?” you asked.
“A mess,” Bucky said immediately, “But I’m getting better, honestly.
“I’m glad.”
There was a moment of silence.
“I– I ended things with Nadia,” Bucky blurted out.
You didn’t stop your pace, but you just gave him an inquisitive look.
“The night you left– after that fight– I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. Everything I criticized you about with Steve, and I was the biggest fucking hypocrite of them all. I’m sorry for that, really. I think about that every day. How I kept hurting you and hurting you, making you hate me–”
“Stop, Bucky just stop,” You said angrily.
You had finally stopped walking. The house was only a few yards away, but you couldn’t stand to move forward any further. Bucky stopped, his face pale as if he feared he had said the wrong thing.
“Look, I’m sorry that you feel shitty for how things happened, but this isn’t all about you, you know? I didn’t leave because of you, I left because it's what I needed to do for myself. I couldn’t keep living how I was. Always worried about what other people needed, what I could do for them. You needed me, and I found a purpose in that, and I lost myself in you. I couldn’t tell where your needs ended and mine began. And you kept me around because I fed into you, right? I fed into your need to be loved and desired and you used me for it. Right?”
Bucky made no attempt to correct you, so you continued on.
“Then you found someone to replace that position, someone who was less close to home, someone who you had the least potential to hurt. Maybe she didn’t mind it, maybe Nadia knew all along, I don’t know, but I don’t care. And don’t think I am shitting on you for using people for your own peace, because as much as I hate to admit it, you were right. That night when you told me I was using Steve, I realized I was. It wasn’t intentional– I never meant to use him, but I knew I wasn’t ready to move on from you and yet–”
The rain was starting to pick up. Fat raindrops were hitting against your face, but you also felt the warmth of tears streaming down, mixing together on your skin. You drew a shaky breath, willing yourself to look him in the eyes, to not shy away from everything you needed to say.
“I loved Steve, for everything he was for me, for everything he was for you. But I couldn’t fully give him my heart, and he couldn’t give me his. He would have tried, had I wanted, I’m sure. But I would never stoop that low, no matter if you believe the opposite.”
“I don’t– I would never–” Bucky choked out, “I think the world of you. I always have. Those things I said, accusing you of using Steve– they were so far off from the truth and just my own idiotic stupidity.”
“But I did use him–”
“No you didn’t,” Bucky said sternly, “I talked to Steve that night you left. He heard everything in the hallway. He was the first person to tell me how out of line I was. He never saw what you two had as anything that shallow. He knows you love him, and he knows that you love– or loved me. He will tell you all of this himself, but believe me, he understands.”
You felt a tension inside your chest release. You knew you should be skeptical of what Bucky said. Was he saying this just to win your favor back? Bucky was never one to lie to you, especially when it concerned his best friend, but you still felt relieved despite yourself.
“Why did he tell you this?” You asked.
It was pouring now. You and Bucky were soaked from head to toe as the thunder rumbled around you. Bucky’s eyes searched your face, and he hesitated before speaking.
“He– he told me this so that I could go after you…” he said softly.
It was your turn to remain silent. You weren’t sure of what to say. Bucky took a few steps closer to you, his eyes darkening as he looked at you. His body seemed to relax, as if he had been holding back these words for the longest time.
“He told me to go after you,” he repeated, “Because, I love you.”
You felt your chest tighten at his words. You shivered but it was not because of the cold of the rain.
“I have loved you for the longest time. You were there for me during the darkest time of my life. And you’re right, I thrived under your care. I used you for the love and attention you gave me and I gave you nothing in return. When I realized I loved you, that I could not go a day without wanting to be near you, I knew I had to distance myself. I thought myself too broken… too unworthy to love you like I did. I tried to distract myself from what I felt, and failed miserably.
“Then, the night of the party, when you told me you loved me… I–I was at war with myself. I wanted nothing more than to run to you, hold you, and tell you that I loved you a million times. I wanted– god, I wanted to do things differently with you, but I was scared.”
“Scared of what?” you whispered.
He looked at you with pure agony in his eyes.
“I was afraid that I would hurt you, like I did Nat, like I do to everyone. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I broke your heart. I didn’t want to risk it. But I did it anyway, didn’t I? By pushing you away… by lying to you about how I feel. I knew I made a mistake the day you left for that mission. I wanted to make things right when you returned, to beg and grovel at your feet, but then I saw you and Steve in the kitchen. You looked so happy. You both did. I couldn’t– I couldn’t ruin that. Not when the two people I loved the most seemed so happy. So, I stayed away. I hated every fucking minute of it, but I just wanted you to be happy. I still do.”
Bucky looked more defeated than you had ever seen him. His chest was rising and falling, as if he had just run a marathon. You tried to gauge how you felt. One on hand, you had just heard the words that you had been wanting to hear for the longest time. James Buchanan Barnes was declaring his love for you, finally. On the other hand, could you believe him?
He seemed sincere enough, but if you are honest with yourself, his actions towards you the past several months had not been indicative of someone who loved another person. He had been distant. He had been cold. And he had been cruel.
“Do you love me? Even now?” You asked.
Bucky took another step forward, leaving only inches between the two of you.
“Yes,” he whispered, “Desperately, I do.”
His eyes searched yours frantically. There was hope in his eyes, like glimmering sunlight on the ocean. Your heart ached furiously as you saw the light die a bit as you took a step back.
“Why should I believe you?”
Bucky deflated a bit.
“You have every reason not to. I don’t blame you for having doubts about me now, but I just want– I just want a chance. I know you have given me more than I deserve, but if you give me a chance… I will show you how your love has shaped me. I will pour back into you the love and devotion you gave to me, tenfold, because that is what you deserve. You deserve everything I have… every part of me– it’s all yours. And if you don’t love me anymore– if I’ve severed our bond so severely that it cannot be repaired… I will understand. I will bend to your whim, and leave. I am yours and yours alone. ”
He reached out slowly, allowing you plenty of time to shy away from his touch, but you didn’t. His fingers curled around your chin and held your face softly. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest.
“I love more than anything, Doll, you are my sun, moon, and stars.”
He watched you, his eyes fierce and blue. Thunder roared around you and the waves in the distance were starting to crash with fierce intensity, but it paled in comparison to the moment you found yourself in now. He was waiting for your response. Millions of things came to mind, but you couldn’t form any of them. A flash of lightning snapped you out of your revere and you blinked at the man before you.
You slowly used your hand to remove his from your chin. Bucky gave a little shiver at the touch as you lowered his hand back down by his side and let go.
“The storm is getting worse,” you said in a soft, even voice.
You began walking away from Bucky, looking towards the house and seeking comfort and warmth. You took a few more steps before turning to see Bucky standing in the same spot he was, looking at where you had just been. You took a deep breath and steadied yourself.
This day was not yet over.
“Well, come on then,” you called to him.
Bucky snapped his head around to look at you. He held a questioning gaze in his eyes. You didn’t say another word. The only response you offered him was a small wave of your hand as you continued to walk towards the house. You could barely hear his footsteps fall behind you underneath the sound of the thunder and the beating of your chest.
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nana-b0b · 1 day
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》🔞 These panels are censored, you can go to the last of the post to find out where to see them!
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A little historical info to better understand:
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♡♡♡♡♡!!! I really feel happy and overcome with these panels, I was thinking a lot about how to make them since there were several obstacles: I had never drawn something NSFW before as it should be 😅 I never got that far so to speak, there was always a line that prevented me from taking that step, since it is not the same to draw some small scene where you only see something specific to a whole pose as such and all that implies. But after many ideas and turns I managed to take that step (maybe small for some but for me it was like reaching the moon 😂) and the most important and most feared was that the essence of the drawings and the style would be lost but I could keep it well and make it coexist ♡.
Note: as for the text accompanying the panels I want to say that it's not my best work as a narrator hahaha I don't write anything since I was about fifteen and it was my era of fanfics and stuff, so I feel its very basic and empty! 😅 ♥!
Now, let's talk a bit about the panels! Well, as we all knew this moment was coming, it was no surprise -3- Ryomen really had to be patient to get what he had been thinking for a while, but he didn't want it to be something random as it could be with any woman he wanted, he was really curious to see how Aurora could look like with the full appearance of a lady of the Heian era and when he saw her, he just couldn't resist. One thing will be clear: Aurora won't wear black teeth again, there will be no way to paint her teeth again without someone losing a limb. As for her eyebrows: she's really mad about that, but I'll let it go.
And to close this post I come with a novelty (I've been thinking about this for days) now we are going to be able to have these drawings completely uncensored on patreon.
I'm not going to lie, using more than two social networks for me is already a lot 😥 if it were up to me I would only post everything in one place but we know how the rules are and we have to respect them, if just by showing a nipple (which is a pixel 😂 ) they almost censored me on Instagram I knew this would be difficult and Tumblr is not lagging behind, while there are things that it lets pass there are others that it doesn't and it's not nice to have to make such complex drawings so that the AI doesn't detect them as 🔞 since there comes a certain point that you get tired too and it loses the grace.
My patreon will be the place for all my works 🔞 without any censorship already, you are going to be able to enjoy both public and private content depending on the type of work ♡. I think also for me it's an incentive to be able to start letting go more of my ideas and continue with everything I want to do :)
To say goodbye first I want to always thank you for all the support you give me and all your messages 🖤 and second to warn you that this CAP of Ren will be in patreon already published privately but all the other censored drawings are public for you to see and enjoy them as they should ⭐
Here are the publications that I censored and that you can now see, there are not many at the moment x'D
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a-b-riddle · 3 days
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I binged your story after tumblr suggested it to me and it’s so good it invaded my dreams seriously, I’m gonna put down a quick recap on the off chance you wanna know if not just take my praise and ignore below, you’re writing is soooooo good! I really felt for the reader and even the guys kinda you were able to evoke my empathy for these characters and had me on the edge of my seat in just a few short chapters thank you so much for sharing your work! (Seriously I’m sharing you with all my book girls they love angst this is right up their alley)
I dreamt reader washed her hands of the men and got an arranged marriage with a nerd (like square glasses pocket protector stereo type) named ?teddy? Who was really nice and had a sleeper build and I think a library job? They adopted some giant fish & idk my dream started loosing whatever plot it had around there with something about a train trip anyways I woke up confused and wondering if arranged marriage dating apps were even a real thing and google says yes, so yeah you’re story inspired an odd though kinda sweet AU dream and my husband questioning my recent google searches 😂
I'm stuck on the arranged marriage idea now!
so my previous bosses ALL had arranged marriages and were explaining how it worked or how they met (an ad or through parents). And honestly, I would eat UP one where Indian reader dumps her artistic boyfriend who she's had to financially support for four years now and finally relents letting her parents play match maker. She's shocked to find that instead of the son of one her mother's friends (who her mom and been BRAGGING about for years), her dad had arranged for her to meet his very good friend and colleague John Price.
Reader is pissed at first. 1) because he is almost a decade older than her and 2) "A white man? NO!"
But turns out, John is ready to settle down. Doesn't care if you want to be a housewife, a stay at home mom or have a career. He's just so totally over dating in his mid-30s and wants a wife.
Even funnier, your dad tries to boost the fact that his mom is dead so you won't have a mother-in-law (this is literally what one of my bosses' father did) He was like "and his mother is dead, kanna" 💀
She marries John and doesn't realize the man has had fifteen years of income just building and building in the bank since he had been deployed for most of his life and hadn't gotten a chance to spend it. When he notices that she's getting things and hasn't gotten a notification he's like "this is your money. Spend. It."
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Helloooo, I’m not sure if you still do requests on One Piece characters or anything- but if you do I have a scenario in mind. I was wondering if you could do one specifically with Traflagar Law who has a S/O which gets injured and refuses his help. The S/O has a problem with accepting help and has trouble being vulnerable in front of others- only seeing it as weakness. This could also work for the other more colder One Piece characters…cause idk they just have a special place in my heart. (Though if you can’t that’s okay, but I thought I’d ask)
ALSO I read lots of your posts and absolutely love your scenarios and head-cannons, you literally portray all the characters so well and it’s amazing.
This is the cutest ask and thank you omg😭
I hope this is good🫶
And little trigger warning for descriptions of injury and blood at the beginning, I'll put a line so you know where to skip to if you don't want to read that bit.
I totally accidentally posted this so now I'm writing as it's up, forgive me😞 OKAY IT'S IN A FINISHED STATE I MAY ADD MORE AFTER I FORCE MY FRIEND TO READ OVER IT🕺🏻🕺🏻
I don't know if I'm happy with the length either i kinda feel it should be longer.
-
The soft, shlick of a blade through flesh rings in your ears. The adrenaline rushing through your body swallows any pain in an instant, but you can feel the pressure as it drags into your side and you wince anyway.
But you can't stop.
If you stop he's going to get past, he's going to hurt the people you call a family and so you can't stop.
His frame is hulking, freakishly tall and looming over you. The level of brute force he's exerting has your heart stuttering in fear, the staccato rhythm making you feel light headed. Though that could be the blood that's dripping from your side.
You hit his sternum, hard, and feel a crack. He stumbles, dazed, your fist comes up to head height and your aim is killer as it slams into the side of the man's head.
He's out cold.
The sigh of relief that exits your body almost overshadows the sudden pain resonating throughout your torso. Without an oncoming threat, you're able to take the time to lift your shirt and look at the damage. It's mostly mottled bruising but just under your lowest left rib is a long but shallow cut. Not life threatening in any way but still inconvenient.
It hurts to breathe and you're not sure if your rib bones are fully intact either, not with the way he was hitting.
The adrenaline is fading quickly, you needed to get him inside.
He'd crumpled into a very ungraceful pile when you knocked him out and it's difficult to tie him securely. But you do. And then you take a deep breath and haul him up over your shoulders in a botched fireman's lift.
Your captain would want to find out who decided it would be a good idea to send someone after the heart pirates.
Your captain would...
The last thing you think about before you hit the deck face first is him.
-
He's silent as he works.
It's almost unnerving actually, how quiet he can be when he wants to.
"Law-"
The look he shoots you is so intense that you physically shrink back, mouth closing as you drop your gaze to the floor.
He lets out a heavy sigh as he finishes disinfecting the last of his tools before he turns to you.
"What is wrong with you."
He's angry, you can feel it radiating off him, it digs into the soft underbelly of your emotions and you bristle at his words.
"I was just doing my job" Your tone is sharp but he doesn't flinch.
"Your job does not involved getting killed you idiot."
"Well I didn't get killed so it's not that big of a deal"
He looks like he's about to blow a gasket, the vein in his forehead pulsing with the renewed blood flow.
"Not a big deal? Not a big deal?"
You have the distinct feeling that you might've fucked up a little. That still doesn't stop you from digging a deeper hole to be buried in.
"I'm fine just let me deal with my own problems"
His eye actually twitches but you keep talking.
"It's barely a scratch, I don't need help- especially not yours."
The thunderous anger on his face is now accompanied by hurt, but his voice is soft when he says,
"Let me help you"
"I just said I don't need help"
"I don't think that you know what you need"
That stings. To know he doesn't trust your judgement after everything you've been through. There's a pressure at the back of your throat now and it's so uncomfortable, you need to leave.
But as you go to move, Law is much quicker as he grabs you by your upper arm, pulling you into his space.
"Where are you going"
You don't look at him.
He sighs before his other arm comes around your waist and he lifts, walking across the room to set you down onto a table.
"Why don't you understand that I care about you"
The emotion in his voice unsettles you, makes your chest feel tight and you really don't want to deal with this.
He's gentle as he gets to work on your injuries, easily cleaning and stitching up your side before moving to bind your ribs.
"I need you to remove your shirt"
Your hands are shaking, he hasn't really seen the full extent and you're sure he's not going to respond well. It's hard to get the buttons of your shirt undone so when a second pair of hands come up, you don't push them away. But him being closer means you hear the exact moment he realises how bad it is, his inhale is sharp and he says something in a language you don't know.
"Why didn't you call for backup?"
You take a while to respond, trying to squash down any emotion in your voice,
"I didn't need it"
"Did you want it?"
The question makes you squirm with discomfort, your eyes water.
"It doesn't matter because I didn't need it"
He sighs again. That's all you seem to be making him do today.
And then his arms are coming up around you, pulling you closer to the edge of the table and closer to him. One of his hands rests on your back and the other pushes your head into the crook of his shoulder, allowing you a semblance of privacy in such an intimate moment.
"You need to understand that not letting us help you is counterintuitive to being part of a crew"
The statement makes you flinch and you try to push away from him but that fight took a lot of your strength. His grip tightens anyways.
"Do you think I find it easy to be vulnerable?"
"...No"
"Do you think I would want you to die?"
You don't respond this time, chest heaving as you tremble.
"It's not easy to see you like this. You are not a human shield."
"I know" Your voice is quiet and thick with tears but he seems to relax slightly at your agreement.
The hand on your back is moving in gentle shapes, but his grip is still firm, as if he's trying to affirm that you're here and alive.
"I can't have a crew member that doesn't trust anyone"
You tense.
"I can't have a partner that won't be vulnerable with me"
Guilt and dread roll through your stomach. Surely he doesn't mean-
"I can't trust that you won't die because you feel can't rely on others so you're benched until we work through it"
Oh. You actually feel a bit relieved, you thought he was going in a much different direction. You lean back out of his hold so you can look at his face through wet eyes.
His expression is soft but he looks tired and the guilt rears it's head again.
"I'm sorry"
Somehow his expression gets even softer,
"I know"
He kisses you then. It's grounding, brings you back to a semblance of calm and you almost wonder why you were so apprehensive in the first place. He's gentle and warm and you feel slightly self conscious that your lips might be puffy from crying but you don't pull away.
It's reverent, like he worships you.
You think you could learn to let him take care of you.
You think you would let him do anything.
If it feels like this.
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navstuffs · 3 days
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Tag, you are on it!
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x GN!Reader
Summary: Miguel finds you and Gabriella playing on the backyard. Based on the comic Tag - Pixie and Brutus by @pet_foolery
Warning tags: domestic bliss, fluff, happiness, feel good type, my bad attempt on writing comedy lol
Author's Notes: after being obsessed with this man over a year, i finally joined the fandom (its never too late i guess). hope you enjoy your reading!
Miguel arrives home exhausted from work, taking off his coat and loosening his tie. What an awful day! Between deadlines not being respected and useless meetings taking far too long, Miguel had to stay late to finish a sudden important project. He was fortunate enough to have you pick Gabriella up from school. 
You met Gabriella after five months of dating Miguel(and almost two years of knowing each other). "A friend," Miguel explained the first time you met, nervous about his little girl's reaction—a sentiment you also shared, way more desperate for her approval. 
Everything went so well; even Miguel felt a little jealous of you, watching his daughter gravitate in your personal space the entire night. Especially when, before you left, he noticed Gabriella waving so you could kneel on her level. She covered your ears with her small hands, whispering as you nodded. Miguel observed quite anxiously, his eyes focused on any reaction. You just opened an enigmatic smirk as if you were teasing him that you could win his daughter so quickly.
Three months after this, Gabriella suddenly asked on a Saturday morning why you hadn't moved in yet, almost causing Miguel to drop the breakfast plate with scrambled eggs he had prepared. You and Miguel tried to explain that you still haven't talked about it yet, and adults can be complicated sometimes. 
Besides being Gabriella's new favorite play partner, Miguel hadn't tried to insert you into their daily routine. Not because he didn't trust you, just...Miguel just had to take things slower. His main priority would always be Gabriella, her well-being and happiness. Inserting you into their routine would make it hard for both if you and him didn't work out. And you agreed, understanding as you always were: Gabriella should always be the top priority. 
As it happened on one of your previous dates when the nanny called, informing Gabriella had gotten a sudden fever and had puked once. You urged Miguel to leave, telling him you would solve everything at the restaurant. Miguel was so surprised when you appeared in the house thirty minutes late, still dressed in your date clothes, with anxious eyes on the little girl in his arms. You stayed that night, ensuring to leave only after Gabriella's fever got down as she slept in your arms - when she heard your voice, she opened her arms begging for you to hold her.
Gabriella was already too attached, and Miguel was too much in love. That's why he was still unsure when he asked you to pick her up. 
When Miguel hears Gabriella's giggle from the backyard, his heart instantly warms. Your capacity to make her laugh made him jealous before. Now, it only makes him fall in love with you even harder. To think there was ever a time Miguel was terrified of what would happen if Gabriella didn't like you. 
He follows his favorite sound in the world, his body relaxing. You two seem to be playing tag: Gabriella never seems to catch you, but she doesn't seem to mind just having fun as you run away in the middle of his vast backyard, both barefoot. Miguel slowly joins his daughter, kneeling on her side as she hugs him tightly, all sweaty. "Papi! We are playing a tag game." 
"I noticed." 
"I don't seem to be able to tag back, though," Gabriella replies, confused in her innocence. As if she could with her small legs. You are still turned around from them, probably catching your breath, unaware of Miguel's presence yet. An idea pops on his mind.
"Tag me." 
"What?" 
"Tag me." Miguel offers his hand, opening a smile. Gabriella opens a big grin, tagging him.
"So, have you given up, Gabi?" You, still in the middle of the backyard, turn around with a playful smile. It completely disappears from your face as you watch Gabriella tag Miguel instead, your boyfriend slowly raising. A dangerous smile on his lips warning you to run.  
You only have one second to react, too slow already, as Miguel starts sprinting in your direction as Gabriella encourages him, excited. Your lungs complain as you run away from him, feeling Miguel hot at your heels. It is the only time you will probably curse his long and strong legs.
You give a quick look over your shoulder, panicking. Miguel has that intense, wild look in his eyes, the one you see when he is determined to get what he wants: to get you. You ignore how your body feels and wonder if you shouldn't just jump in the pool (what a joke, Miguel was a great swimmer as well). 
"Behind you." It is the last thing you hear before Miguel pounces on you, managing to do it gently to a round of cheers from Gabriella. 
You both fall to the floor, and Miguel turns you around with a frown. "Were you going to jump in the pool?" 
"Who, me? Nooo. So you could swim and catch me?!" 
"Liar! You were about to jump in the pool!"
"As a distraction, only! You would have jumped straight after me anyway."
"Oh, I would have." He is serious, you know that.
With his body thoroughly pressed against yours, you hug him, "Missed you. How was work?" 
“Terrible. As always.”
"As always." You agree, watching his expression change. Miguel suddenly becomes aware of how your body is pressed against his, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. He tries to get away from you, but you don't let him, your arms locking him down, a malicious smile on your face.
"Don't…"
"I am not doing anything." 
"Not in front of-"
"Miguel, I am not doing anything!" You giggle, the sensation of a victory spreading against your chest. "You know, I wouldn't do anything in front of-"
You both look toward where Gabriela was standing before to find nothing there. Before you two can even untangle, Gabriella jumps on her father's back, startling you both. 
"Tag!" 
She immediately jumps away, giggling as she runs inside the house. Miguel sighs, not before your hand cups his cheek so you can look at him. "I will keep her company. It is fine."
"I don't want to impose-" 
"Miguel, it is not an imposition. She likes me better anyway."
Miguel gets up from the floor, helping you stand as you watch Gabriella hide behind the sofa, her messy hair and eyes peeking out.
"Are you going to…stay?" Miguel wonders, his tone soft. 
"Of course I will. Maybe we can repeat this tag game after Gabriella is asleep?" You offer, bluntly teasing him. "With much less clothes."
You smirk, watching Miguel's mouth drop open. Gabriella calls your name again and you give him a peck on the cheek, before running away to her direction. 
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