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#the boy hasn’t been featured in a while
novelconcepts · 2 years
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Really pulls the room together, doesn’t he?
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angelfoxx · 6 months
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Coddling Keegan while giving him a handjob😖😖he’s cuddled up to you, head buried in your neck while your hand pumps his cock slow nd sloppy, whines a little when you pay attention to his tip, rubbing it with your thumb, “feels good, baby? Hm?” While ruffling his hair❤️❤️
“You wanna cum, sweet boy? Yeah?” You murmur, practically babying him🫶🫶
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┊ ➶ 。˚ ° ❝ SWEET BOY? ❞
…in which a very tired keegan gets special treatment.
FEATURING: keegan p russ (duh)
WARNINGS: obviously nsfw. mild overstim. mentions of crying. whoopsie
NOTE/S: hi anon hope u know i read this and my stomach clenched up. sorry just thought u should be aware
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“Feel good?” Your voice is just a soft murmur, sickeningly sweet and practically dripping in endearment. “Is that good, Kee?”
The only response you get is a breathy half-groan.
Poor Keegan. Genuinely. He’d come back from what he dubbed a shit mission this past afternoon; nothing too risky. Just a job that the “regular” recruits hit a wall with. A job that he had to go finish, because apparently the general force couldn’t get the fucking thing done.
His next assignment? Tomorrow afternoon. Approximately twelve hours from now, he’d be out again.
The poor guy was fucking exhausted. Hell, he’d called you that morning from the bed of the truck, and…you know why he had to go, you know that it’s his job and all, but…Christ, he’d sounded so tired. Tired and strained and done. Every nerve in your body had been screaming at you to fawn over him the minute he got home; a warm bath, a hot mug of tea (black). Some soup, bowl steaming. Hell, you’d been wringing your hands together at the mere thought of washing his hair. It had become a regular practice at this point; whenever he came back from an assignment, you’d be there to give him a soft landing upon arriving home.
This time around, you didn’t have the time for that. Despite his arguments, you’d probably have a word with whatever shit-for-brains commander had been in charge of putting him on back-to-back assignments.
To focus on the task at hand. Or in hand, rather. Keegan had told you he didn’t want all of the fancy stuff; tea, sure. Soup, sure. The bath and everything? No, he’d just shower.
He wanted a hot mug of tea, a bowl of soup, and then he wanted you to make him feel better in the best way you knew how.
Hence; your current position.
You hadn’t even made it to the bed. Keegan hadn’t even finished his fucking soup. He’d been staring into it like a ghost; gaze vacant, face empty, eyeblack staining his skin charcoal-gray. Hell, the man had just thrown whatever clothes he could find on; just a plain white tee and sweats. For once, he hasn’t been careful with his gear; he’s got it slung haphazardly across the chair beside him. His fucking rifle is sitting on the thing like it’s also eating soup.
He didn’t have to say much. He just kind of shifted and looked you in the eye; sat back, opened his legs a little wider.
Upon swinging a leg over him and sitting in his lap, Keegan had all but deflated.
He’d smelled like soap. Kind of tasted like it, too. Either he had scrubbed off a layer of skin in the shower or he’d just neglected to fully rinse all of the shampoo out of his hair. Either way, you didn’t mind; the fact that he smelled vaguely of vanilla (because for some reason he continued to take your shampoo and not use his own) and he was just slumped back in the chair, weakly holding onto your head as you littered a trail of little marks along his throat…
…oh, sweet boy.
He thought the pet name was stupid. Usually. He’d laugh at you if you called him by it in most situations; the day he’d apparently decided it was safe enough to kiss you goodbye before he boarded the plane to head out on an assignment, you’d called him a sweet boy and Keegan, fully geared up in his vest and helmet with probably five different weapons strapped on around his waist, had just whistled and hummed in response.
Sweet boy, carrying a rifle and a knife and god-fucking-knows-what-else.
Now, though, he doesn’t complain. Either because he’s too tired to or because, right now, even he knows that it’s fitting. Big, beefy soldier, pretty blue eyes rolled back, pretty pink lips parted and pretty little mouth too tired to fight the quiet little noises that would normally remain buried under his tongue. His brow knits, and his nostrils flare, and — oh — his chest rises and his breath hisses in through his nose.
A fat pearl of pre swells up on his tip for a moment before you run your thumb over it and spread it across the blunt round of his cockhead.
It’s not fair to him. Maybe. You’re going so slow and you’re just lazily stroking him but he doesn’t seem to mind. Oh, not at all. His brow knits and his mouth opens a little further; he lets out a short, hoarse breath, chest puffing up before it shudders back down and the muscles along his neck flex.
“Deep breaths, Kee.” You lean forward, kissing the side of his cheek and biting back a grin when his entire body shudders. “Easy.”
“I’m ff…fffuckin’ trying.” Keegan’s voice is rough, strained breathlessly thin. “I’m ff…uhhhckin’ trying, princess, but…”
“Can’t?” You smile, body shuddering. “Aw. Sweet boy.”
Keegan tries to shoot you a glare. He tries. One squeeze of your hand closing over his cockhead has him tensing up again, head tipping back and jaw clenching up as he bites back another groan.
You don’t say anything. You could tease him more (hell, you’d be jumping at the chance any other time), but right now he’s almost pitiful. Sore, exhausted, run-down and on a tight deadline to head back out tomorrow.
The man deserves a break. He doesn’t deserve to be mocked. So you keep your mouth shut (at least, in regards to taunting him) and you tease your thumb over his slit in slow little circles.
Keegan’s body shudders. From somewhere deep in his chest, he groans, brow knitting and eyes squeezing shut. His hips buck up; his cock slides through your grasp, swollen and slick. He’s aching for release, aching for it; it’s like his self-control has been put out to float on a raft and is just drifting towards total euphoric collapse. His head lolls on his neck; he’s in a daze, exhaustion and pleasure mixing like a dreamy cocktail in his system.
“I’ll get a nice bath ready for you after this assignment. Sound good?” You grin as you swish your thumb over his tip and he stiffens, body wound tight and eyes rolling back in his head. He doesn’t give you a verbal response; he just groans, one of his hands pawing uselessly at your waist. His big hands, gloved hands, rough and callous…
The throaty auh Keegan lets out brings your head back into reality, just in time to see his jaw drop and his pretty lips form a pink O as his eyes squint and his lashes flutter. His cock jerks in your hands, and a dribble of thin pre runs down the joints of your fingers. His hips buck up; under that thin layer of cotton, you feel his abdomen flex tight.
Apparently embarrassed at his own sound, Keegan turns his face towards you. Messily, he thrusts his lips at yours; when your body ripples and your hand flexes, he groans, low and tired into your mouth. His skin is hot; he’s flustered, but he’s too tired to do much about it.
“You gonna fall asleep on me after this?” You manage a quiet laugh. “No real rounds?”
Keegan groans. His voice, when it does manage to come out, is throaty and hoarse. There’s a sort of grumble in his voice, a sort of sleepy drawl that has your knees weak. “Shit, if you want…”
You giggle, biting your tongue when you skim the tips of your fingers over the ridge of his head and he tenses, teeth sinking into his lip. “I don’t think you can, Kee. I really don’t.”
“Shut it.” Though his tone is gruff, a tease of your finger over his leaking slit has Keegan’s head lolling back and his eyes, pretty pools of sapphire blue, roll back as his lashes flutter. “I’ll just lay there. You…nngh…you can just get on top an’…”
Keegan’s body shudders. His shoulders lift off the back of the chair; there’s a tremor deep in his belly that you can feel under your hand as he slumps back again, stomach rolling forward and hips rolling up. His abdomen clenches and sucks in so hard you can see the outline of his abs through his shirt, despite the loose fit.
Close.
You’ve learned his bodily cues by now. He tenses, starts to breathe hard — you can hear air rasping in and out of his nose — and, yeah, he paws around until he can grab onto your wrist, fingers wrapping around the spot right under your hand. He’s funny like that; you wouldn’t catch him dead pitying himself, telling you he was nothing but your little play-thing — but god, the quiver in his hand and the tremor in his breath is so, so far away from dominant. It’s so far away from being in control. If anything, he’s feeling your control; he’s feeling your pulse pick up as you shift on his lap, he’s feeling your arm tense as you bite your lip and stroke quicker, faster, twist your hand, and — oh — he’s gripping tight as you swipe your hand at just the right angle, pull it flush against the base of his cock and pump up and —
The strangled cry that comes out of Keegan’s mouth is strained and loosely contained. His jaw snaps shut, his lips seal; his hips buck up, and there’s a soft scuffle as his feet shove against the ground and his socks give him no traction to hold on.
You see the corded muscle of his neck swell at the same time that you feel a ribbon of something hot and sticky squirt up your forearm.
Five times. Five times, Keegan’s hips jerk up; his head turns either way, and his eyes squeeze shut for the first two jolts. They start to open; they flutter, roll back. Close again for the third. The same goes for the fourth. The fifth, though, his eyes open when his hips twitch, and when you try to meet his gaze you look into bottomless blue hues lidded and vague with euphoria.
The blunt edges of his nails dig into your wrist right under a streak of cum. The stuff strings your arm and webs beneath it, threatening to drip onto his thighs. Not that he’d mind, probably. Not now, at least. He’s too weak and tired to really care. Too busy groaning, sound contained deep in his chest, body rippling as pleasure tides over him. Over…and over…and over.
“Feel better?” You prompt the question in a soft voice after a long moment of silence for him to recover. Not that he had any performance issues — just tired, like this, pushed flat-out for too long…he has this worn, beaten look on his face. Barely lifted after everything.
“Yeah.” Despite that, Keegan’s response comes quick; breathless, but quick. His eyes shift over to meet yours, and Christ, if he looked tired before…
“Kee.” The note of pity that leaks into your voice is entirely instinctual. When you lean forward, his breathing staggers; he sort of half-laughs when you run your thumb over his three-fourths lidded eyes, weakly turning away from the contact. “Don’t touch me right now.”
“Kee.” You repeat his name, more seriously this time. “Kee, you look like you’re gonna pass out.”
“I’m not.” Keegan shakes his head; as if to prove his point, he shifts a little in his seat, pulling himself slightly more upright.
“You look like it. You look so tired.” You lean forward, this time; it’s an effort to push his hair back, and one that he leans away from. “Keegan. Let me take care of you.”
In response, he only laughs. It’s a tired laugh, one that rasps in his chest, but it’s a laugh nonetheless. When he replies, his tone isn’t serious. “You’ve got it on your hands.”
so sorry for my absence. my cod hyperfixation chilled the fuck out a little whoopsie anyways
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rqgnarok · 1 year
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standing ovation - jamie tartt
fandom: ted lasso
wc: 2321
warnings: mentions of jamie’s dad and DV, spoilers for ted lasso’s mom city. reader uses female pronouns. 
summary: reader sneaks into training grounds after richmond’s win against man city. seeing her is just what jamie needs. 
author’s note at the end!
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There’s something in the air.
Jamie’s pretty sure Will sprayed some lavender shit all over the locker room again but that’s not quite what he means– he’s said goodbye to every single one of his teammates and all the coaches– and the locker room is now his and his alone. He locks away his dad’s ghost by locking up his phone, the simple message doing wonders to finish lifting that weight off his shoulders.
He wasn’t at the game. Or maybe he was, Jamie realizes now that it doesn’t really matter. A part of him will never stop looking over his shoulder whenever he visits his hometown for his dickwad of a father, but the older, bigger part of him knows Coach was right– his motivation doesn’t come from hating his dad anymore and it doesn’t have to. His forgiveness is for himself, for the little boy that had to build a mask to save himself from his dad, and for the man he is today because of him– and because of his mum, Keeley, Roy, Ted, his teammates–
The standing ovation at the end was more of a benediction than he’d like to admit. Everything about his hometown made him feel prickly; like he was a virus the town was doing its best to reject, and other than his quick visit to his mom Jamie expected the whole thing to be a disaster. The kids on the street, the people on social media, the rude assholes in the bleachers– Jamie thought that was all he was gonna get. Blind, thoughtless hatred despite Jamie trying his best.
He remembers Roy getting a standing ovation on his last game, while Jamie was still wearing Man City blue. He’d been appalled, unable to discern the possibility of someone hating you so much they respected you. All he’d ever gotten– from his dad, rival teams, his own team– had been everything except respect.
But they’d clapped for him. They thought him deserving of something precious and somehow it feels like permission. He can play for himself. He can come home without his dad’s ghost belittling him for not turning out the way he expected him to. 
Even Manchester hasn’t been home in a long time. Sure, his mom and Simon are there, but Richmond has his family, too– his friends, his teammates, his–
“Excuse me, I’m looking for my boyfriend. 5’9 not quite 6 foot, sexy as hell, the most fantastic football player to ever walk on Earth?”
Jamie’s lips involuntarily twist up as he glances at the door. (Y/N)’s a sight wearing her Richmond TARTT jersey, looking disheveled and flushed like the rest of the city probably is right now after their win tonight. 
Jamie doesn’t give a shit about the rest of the city, though. At least not right now. He cares about his girl sneaking in (with Keeley and Roy’s permission and advice, probably) to see him, normal sleep schedule be damned. 
He laughs, loud and unrestrained joy lighting up his features as he hobbles towards his girlfriend, letting himself be enveloped in a crush-tight embrace.
“Did ya watch it?” he wonders, forgoing his usual shy demeanor whenever (Y/N) praises him and just allowing his excitement to overflow, arms going around (Y/N)’s waist and hoisting her off the ground.
“Did I watch it, he asks,” (Y/N) scoff is downplayed by her big grin and the way she wraps her arms around Jamie’s neck as he spins her around, fucked up ankle be damned. “I couldn’t take my fucking eyes off of you, Jamie, oh, my God–”
She’s kissing him deeply, unable to contain her excitement. 
“You’re so fucking brilliant,” she whispers against his mouth, her hands at the nape of his neck making him shiver into her embrace, unable to get enough. “Oh, Jamie, that assist– the entire play for Colin’s goal? Your goal–”
“It was for you,” he tells as he drops her off, cupping her face in his hands and cheeks hurting with how wide he’s smiling. “I couldn’t celebrate but it was for you. For you and me mum, you were with me on the pitch the whole time–”
He stumbles a little as he drops her on the ground and (Y/N) tenses in his arms. She looks him over, suddenly worried. “Oh, shit. Your ankle, dumbass, are you okay? Fuck, did I–”
“Angel,” the nickname has her melting almost immediately just like he thought it would, a five-word weapon he’s never gotten tired of wielding. (Y/N) pouts at him, still concerned, and Jamie can’t have that, he kisses the expression off her face immediately. It should be illegal for her to be sad, no, sir. “‘s not even a sprain. It was probably the panic of bein’ in the same place as me dad, to be honest.”
Something steely flashes through her eyes, there and gone in a second, at the mention of Jamie’s dad. (Y/N)’s never been anything other than kind about it, but Jamie doesn’t doubt she’d beat the old fart up if she were given the chance. 
The thought only makes him smile.
“Did you? See him?” she wonders cautiously. She’s touching him again after her moment of hesitation over his injury, hands doing soothing motions up and down his sides. Jamie fights off a shiver.
“Nah,” he says simply as if the thought of crossing paths with him didn’t have him toeing the line of a panic attack the entire three days they were in Manchester. “I don’t know if he was there, and if he was, I didn’t see him. I don’t think I care anymore. It’s for the best, really.”
(Y/N)’s expression brightens, though they both know they’re not done talking about it. Jamie wishes it could be as easy as turning off his phone and forgetting about his dad, but his skin already itches a little with the idea of getting a text back from him. He’s also no doubt that (Y/N) will hold him throughout it all. 
“I did see me mum.”
“How is my favorite Tartt?” she teases.
“Happy,” Jamie says softly, always the most important thing to consider when it comes to his mother. Ever since he was a toddler and he gained acknowledgment of his dad’s actions; after an especially gruesome argument that ended with his dad breaking a few photo frames and plates, stumbling his way out of the apartment, and slamming the door shut, Jamie would climb on his mom’s lap and wipe her tears as best he could with his tiny clumsy baby fingers. “Yeah, she was real happy. And for me, too. Even before the match, she was happy to see me, happy to… jus’ happy.”
“That’s good, sweetheart,” she threads her fingers through Jamie’s hair to keep it off his face, his headband lost somewhere in his lockers or amongst the rest of the dirty laundry. He’ll have to tell Will to watch out for it, he’s a little attached to it after the night he’s had. 
Jamie’s usually not the one to believe in lucky garments or charms but– well. He feels pretty lucky right now; that (Y/N) saw some worth in him when they met and makes the choice to love him and come home to him, day after day, whatever the outcome may be. 
(Y/N) looks at him adoringly like she knows what he’s thinking. “Did’ya get your wings back, then?”
Jamie grasps her hand in his and turns to kiss the inside of her wrist, only slipping a little bit of tongue. “Nah. They was never gone. All I needed was a little help to see.”
He frowns before (Y/N) can answer. “I was gonna say something stupid like ‘you’re me wings’ but that’s disgusting and I hate it. I would never say something like that. ‘m not Roy.”
(Y/N)’s laugh is surprised and comes deep from her belly. “Are you telling me Roy Kent’s a secret romantic?”
“Big old softie, that tosser,” he rolls his eyes. “He snuck you in for me, didn’t he? That’s all you need to know about–”
(Y/N) shuts him up with a kiss just because she can, and they’re both smiling too hard for it to be a proper one. 
She says “He likes you. He’s proud of you. We’re all so proud of you,” while peppering kisses all over his face, landing on his cheeks, nose, temple, jaw, and corner of his mouth. “You’re so, so good, Jamie, I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” he says, because there’s not gonna be a single time in which she tells him that and he doesn’t reciprocate. “Mum said that, too. And Keeley and Roy. And Coach, too, I guess, in his own way. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without them.”
“I can’t believe I missed it,” (Y/N) pouts and beats herself up over it for the thousandth time. Jamie presses a kiss to the space between her eyes for the thousandth time in response. “I should’ve been there, I should’ve told my boss to go to hell–” 
“You’re here,” he tells her, shaking her a little by the shoulders and looking her over like he can’t quite believe it. That she’s here in the locker room, in his life, loving him like he’s always desperately wished for but never thought he’d deserve. “What was I gonna do, put my dumb ankle into ice and sit alone in the dark?”
“‘m sure Roy and Keeley would be here drinking champagne with you if I wasn’t here.”
“And what could we be doing that is keeping them away right now?” he raises his brows, sneaking a hand down her back lower, lower, lower–
(Y/N) slaps his chest, though a gleam in her eye tells him she’s not saying no to anything. “You’re…” she drifts off.
He smirks cockily. “Unbelievable?”
(Y/N) shakes her head imperceptively. “Nah. I always knew you could do it. But you’re breathtaking, I’ll give you that. As if your ego needs it.”
Jamie’s mouth softens into a smile, soft and apologetic. “I’m sorry.”
(Y/N) frowns a little at the sudden shift in conversation. “Whatever for?”
“I’ve been a dick these past couple of weeks–”
He had. (Y/N) won’t let him admit it but he wasn’t lying when he told Roy he wasn’t doing well. Not eating, not sleeping, waving off (Y/N)’s concern with a little too cold shoulder. It made him feel a little too much like his dad, and that thought only dragged him further down.
It had been (Y/N) who suggested Jamie pay a visit to his mom while in town for the game, and when he’d mentioned this to her she’d smiled knowingly, ran a hand through his hair, and made him promise an introduction soon. 
“You were anxious,” she corrects him with a shake of the head, won’t let him speak ill of himself when all he did was have a normal, human reaction to a very triggering situation. “And I’ve been worried about you but you don’t have to apologize, Jamie. Not to me, not in a million years.”
“Alright,” he says, soft and charmed. He soothes his thumb over her knuckles, featherlight. He looks down at their intertwined hands for a beat or two, gently swinging them back and forth. “Then can I apologize for shutting you out? I know you were only trying to help. I’ll do better next time at letting you know what I need.”
“And I’ll do better at listening,” she assures him with an indulgent smile, using her free hand to trace the Richmond crest of his shirt. “Look at us, communicating and shit.”
Jamie scrunches his nose in faux disgust. “Gross,” he says, but even the facade is too much to keep up when (Y/N) nudges his nose with hers. His lips tilt upwards against his best intentions, drunk on her presence and something inside his chest brimming with unstirred delight. 
(Y/N) exhales against his mouth. She hasn’t been more than a few inches away from him since she came down to meet him, always touching him.  
“What do you wanna do, huh?” she asks him, pulling at the bottom of his shirt. “Anything you want. We can go get some takeout from that burger place you like or maybe something fancier? We can go home and get some ice on that ankle–”
“It’s nothin’–”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” by that, she means when the team doctor gives him the all clear and he isn’t limping slightly with every step he takes. It’ll take a while but Jamie can take it, especially if any downtime comes with them spending the days together. She makes a questioning hum. “But we can do that tomorrow, then. Tonight, whatever you want. You’ve earned it.”
And Jamie does feel like a winner. Not only because of the three points they managed to steal from Man City but because he gets to come home to this. He gets to leave his dad behind in Manchester and his mom in safe hands, he gets to accomplish his dream for himself and the people that love him instead of trying to prove someone who hurt him wrong. 
He gets to live for himself. Coach Lasso was right, him forgiving his father was the kindest thing he could do for himself. 
“I want this,” he murmurs against her temple, breathing in the smell of her perfume and taking in the warmth of her body against his. “I got all I need right here.”
(Y/N) smiles and crowds even closer, pressing a kiss to his jaw. 
A beat. Then–
“So that’s a no for a quickie in the locker room, then?”
(Y/N)’s laugh tastes like a standing ovation.
_________
precious little jamiebaby i hope i did you justice ily
i was ready to make an angsty peace about him but mom city left me craving to give him a moment of peace so ta-da! thank you so much for reading and letting me know what you think!
a reminder that commissions and asks are open!
<3
masterlist / ao3 / ko-fi
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corroded-hellfire · 3 months
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Reading AYW things has me thinking about Eddie and Reader sniffing baby Eliza right after they bring her home and she’s got that fresh baby smell and Luke and Ryan are like “what are they doing?”
-cj. @cheesewritings
Just out here fueling my own baby fever. Please enjoy some lil baby Eliza 💕
Words: 1.2k
[As You Wish masterlist]
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Less than a month has gone by since you’ve given birth to your and Eddie’s baby girl and yet so much has changed. Your hormones still give you mood swings from time to time. Eddie feels a bit more tired than usual between being up at odd hours of the night and trying to make sure you and Eliza are being taken care of while still keeping Ryan and Luke’s normal weekly routine going. The boys dote over their baby sister, but their sleep has definitely been impacted as well by the high-pitched wailing that comes just down the hall every night. One morning at breakfast before school, Luke fell asleep with half of his face in his bowl of Corn Flakes. 
But every small discomfort is well worth it to have the most beautiful baby girl you’ve ever seen. Her eyes already threaten to be as wide and doe-like as her father’s and you know you’ll be in deep trouble then. The soft wispy baby hairs on her head are similar in color to Eddie’s and her eyebrows have the same arch as his. Eliza absolutely has your nose and lips though. Your husband swears it’s as if God copy and pasted the features right from you to your daughter. Whenever she smiles though, you see her brothers. It may still be gas for her at this age, but the smile that upturns her pretty pink mouth is the spitting image of what you see on the faces of your sons. Munson charm in full effect. 
Evenings have been the most unpredictable so far. Will Eliza be awake? Asleep? Hungry? Fussy? Happy? Content? Not to mention what Eddie or the boys will be like.
Tonight is a good night, though. The boys are down the hall playing video games in Ryan’s room, and you and Eddie are cuddled up on the couch, Eliza snuggly cradled between your arms. Spider-Man is playing on the television, but you’d both forgotten about the movie the second that your daughter woke up, about fifteen minutes into the superhero flick. 
“Oh, look what a big mouth you have!” you coo as your daughter releases a tiny yawn, as if she hasn’t spent most of her day sleeping. You envy the hours of rest infants need. 
Eddie gazes down at her adoringly and the love shining in his eyes threatens to have your heart burst right through your ribs. It’s no secret that he’s always wanted a daughter and it’s still dizzying to think that you’re the one to give that to him. 
Soft, gurgling baby noises come from the baby’s mouth as she looks back and forth from you to her father. Both you and Eddie chuckle when she lifts her small arms above her head, then on the way down stops to stick her tiny fingers in her mouth. 
“God, she’s perfect,” Eddie muses, and you’re not sure if you were meant to hear it or he was just thinking aloud. Either way, he’s right. Every little thing about her has captured your heart. 
Slowly, Eddie leans forward and presses his lips to her soft forehead. 
“And she smells so good,” Eddie adds, making you giggle. 
“I know!” you agree. “What is it about that new baby smell?”
Gently, you lift Eliza so her head is more level with yours and Eddie’s. As one, you both lean in and inhale the scent wafting off your daughter. The baby doesn’t seem to mind, but it looks like she’s trying to figure out what you’re doing by the way she keeps looking at you. And she’s not the only one.
“What are they doing?” Luke mutters to his older brother from where they stand off to the side of the hallway connecting the living room to the rest of the house. 
“Smelling her,” Ryan answers with a shrug.
“Uh, why?” Luke furrows his brows as he watches the scene on the couch in confusion.
“Seeing if she needs a diaper change? I don’t know,” Ryan says.
“But they’re smiling. No one would ever smile around one of Eliza’s dirty diapers,” Luke says, having plenty of experience to back up that claim. 
“Maybe they washed her hair,” Ryan offers with another shrug. “I don’t know, I guess she just smells good.”
Luke’s quiet for a moment before he tilts his head up to look at his brother.
“Do they ever smell you?”
“No,” Ryan says with a sigh, this conversation already exhausting him. 
“Do they smell me when I’m not looking?” Luke asks, more rhetorical this time. 
“Yes, we all do,” Ryan goads. “We’ve been meaning to talk to you about taking more baths.”
The younger Munson boy glowers at his brother and stomps past him into the living room.
“Um, does she smell?” Luke asks as he approaches the couch.
“Yeah,” Eddie says, looking up at his son with a grin. “She’s got that new baby smell. C’mere.”
He gestures for Luke to lean in and smell the top of Eliza’s head. The boy does and when he pulls back, he’s smiling.
“She kind of smells like cheese.”
The words make you giggle, and you lay your head on your husband’s shoulder as Eddie cradles Eliza against his chest. 
“Ryan! She smells like cheese!”
“What?” Ryan asks as he walks over. 
“Yeah, but like actual cheese. Not a Cheeto or the stuff in a can.”
Ryan frowns. “Didn’t you just eat a whole bottle of Cheez Wiz yesterday?”
“You did what?” Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow at his youngest son.
“I said it wasn’t real cheese,” Luke says to Ryan, ignoring his father completely. “Not that it wasn’t delicious. Now smell,” Luke urges him.
Ryan gives his little brother a skeptical look, but when you give him a reassuring nod, he leans in and sniffs her hair.
“It’s like…baby powder. But…I don’t know, fresher?” Ryan isn’t sure how to describe it, but he certainly doesn’t think cheese is the word he’d use. 
“Do all babies have it?” Luke asks as he takes a seat next to you.
“Most do,” Eddie tells him. “You both did.”
“When did I lose it? Or do I still have it?” Luke tries to yank one of his curls straight so he can get a good whiff of it, but to no avail. 
“It goes away after a few weeks or months,” Eddie says.
“What causes it?” Ryan asks.
Your husband smiles and you can tell he loves the boys asking him these questions. He’d sit here and talk to them about Eliza—or anything, really—all day. 
“I don’t know, pal,” Eddie says. 
“It’s like new car smell!” Luke adds. 
“But better,” you say, poking his tummy in his most ticklish spot. He giggles and squirms around at your side. Once he’s calmed, Luke slumps against your arm and watches Eliza fuss a little in Eddie’s arms.
“Even when she loses that baby smell,” Luke says, poking you in the thigh with a small bony forefinger, “I hope she grows up to smell like you and not Daddy.”
Eddie’s jaw drops open as he turns his head towards Luke. You want to make some sort of witty remark, but you can’t think of any. Plus, you’re laughing way too hard to speak. 
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moominsuki · 1 year
Text
✎ᝰ. REMEMBER THOSE TIMES WHEN YOU WERE LAUGHING, AND NAKED ON MY COUCH ; — silly sex tropes with the boku no hero academia boys.
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FEATURING: bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku, todoroki shoto + kirishima eijirou.
࿄ ! warnings — f!reader, all characters aged up 20+, suggestive, sex talk but silly all around, crack lowkey. / note. this was fun to write. pls take this as a bit of filler while i finish up my super mega bkg fic. loves ya!
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✎𓂃BAKUGOU KATSUKI。°˖⌕
it was a rare occasion for bakugou to actually want to show up to a hero gala - when you usually caught wind of any formal event, your blond haired man would vehemently oppose going, opting to stay at home and order some food instead. you couldn’t place what spurned bakugou’s sudden interest in attending the annual convention but as you get into your car, all dressed up and ready to go, you understand why.
“come on, they’re not gonna care if we’re a few minutes late,” pleads bakugou when you arrive at your seats, pressing displaced kisses on your done up face and swat him away slightly.
you whine at him to behave, grabbing at the hand groping at your thighs, your breasts, anywhere he can put his big hands on and you always resort to placing his hands back into the culprit’s lap.
unfortunately for you, bakugou knows how easily turned to mush you are by sweet nothings and fondling because it only takes you 8 minutes for you to cave in, inconspicuously meeting your husband at the rendezvous point. it then takes another 5 for bakugou to have your chest pressed against the mirror, lifting up your gown to touch at your most intimate parts.
“tell me how badly you want it,” he grunts, pulling down his own slacks while you grind your ass and whimper at him.
“be a good girl and take it,” bakugou breathes out gruffly, desire running through his voice and he’s just about to dip inside you-
“i’ve been holding my damn piss in all day - what the fuck? bakugou?!” yells out kaminari and bakugou practically launches himself at the cubicle door to throw the yellow blond out while you’re scrambling to cover up your indecency.
with kaminari sporting a fresh bruise on his jaw as a shameful reminder, you and bakugou vow to never get down and dirty in public spaces. bakugou still adamantly swears to this day that the door was locked.
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✎𓂃MIDORIYA IZUKU。°˖⌕
you roll your eyes when you hear another pitiful groan come out of izuku, who’s sprawled out on the couch with a bandaged leg propped up on multiple pillows. he has been out of action with a broken leg for a few weeks now due to an unprecedented villain attack at the agency. it’s rendered him useless, and quite frankly bored and horny out of his mind.
that being said, you outright refuse to have sex with izuku now that he has a broken leg but it hasn’t stopped him from pleading with his big green eyes, pink lips pouting as he guilt trips you from across the house.
“please, y/n, you can just sit on it. i won’t even move a bit. you look so pretty, baby,” izuku whines as you rub lotion into his hands and arms. and what kind of girlfriend would you be to deny him in his time of recovery.
it’s rushed the way that you’re both still half clothed; already grinding on his cock and you’re doing everything in your power to make sure you don’t rest even a little bit of weight on his leg. izuku has never been good at preventing the buck of hips when you clench down on him and today is no different.
he starts subconsciously rutting into you - as he does when his orgasm starts to creep up on him - and one tight clench of your walls forces his lower body to jolt and practically throw you on to his right leg… i.e. the leg that is currently out of action.
a howl of pain emits from your boyfriend and you frantically run to your phone to call the physiotherapist, butt jiggling on the way and izuku doesn’t know what hurts more: his leg or the blue balled dick.
the next time you have sex isn’t until the cast finally comes off and no matter how many puppy dog eyes the man lays on you, you stay resolute on the decision. you even so kindly send him some nudes so he finds solace in his left hand instead of you.
izuku vows to never get another injury again; though his incentives might be slightly skewed.
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✎𓂃TODOROKI SHOTO。°˖⌕
it is never a smart idea to have sex in your partner’s childhood home. it’s one thing to fuck in their bedroom; but it’s a whole other bridge to cross when it’s in their parents’ bedroom.
that being said, todoroki hates needlessly having to go to his childhood home. however, fuyumi is out of town for work; being that none of his siblings except for him could house sit and that shoto has a soft spot for his older sister, he decided to just suck it up.
luckily for him, you offer to keep him company for the next few days at his childhood home and shoto would never pass up an offer for the chance to be alone with you - considering both your inflexible work schedules and the fact that you both have roommates, shoto knew this would be a once in an annual experience.
so it was inevitable, really, that shoto would come home from a long day of patrolling and to see you donned in sexy, red lingerie, strolling up to him with your manicured hands placed delicately on his chest. and, being the succubus that you are, you both decided to do the deed in the nicest bedroom in todoroki estate: his father’s bedroom.
with every flex of his hips, shoto has you and the bed nearly folded into one being - you're moaning, begging for him to go faster as you grapple pathetically onto his shoulders while he grunts, grabbing the headboard to speed up his movements.
“that's it, pretty girl, just like that,” shoto groans, lifting your thigh to place it on his shoulder and this new position means that you feel it so much more; but it also means that the legs of the bed start scraping on the hardwood floor... and has the headboard always been so creaky?
you get your answer when a snap! releases above your head and you're about to look up when the middle of the bed caves in with a pitiful oomphh. at this point, the duochrome haired man is still snug inside you and he quickly wraps a hand behind your head to cushion the fall. the silence is ridiculously loud until you both look at each other and burst out laughing.
“my dad is going to kill me,” shoto sighs into your neck and you comfort him with a few soft touches to the nape of his head.
naturally, the pair of you continue your romp in other places of the todoroki home and by the time fuyumi comes back, she's met with a raging enji todoroki holding a sketchy, sprawled out note of:
“sorry >:] - shoto.”
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✎𓂃KIRISHIMA EIJIROU。°˖⌕
kirishima regards himself as someone with high restraint and while that does dwindle when he's around you, he's still able to control himself, despite the lust-filled glances and borderline sexual touches you throw at him.
today is not one of those times.
he’s already very pent up, extremely touch starved from this three week long mission away from you. yeah, they bagged the villain, as to he expected. but at what cost? he’s found company in two pillows and pictures of you in the meantime but they do little to quell his thirst for you.
it’s around 5am when you pick him up from the airport and even though you’re both tired as hell - kirishima being jet lagged and you not being used to waking up at these ungodly hours, - the way you touch him is not that of an exhausted woman. and given the days, weeks he’s had, who was he to deny you?
throwing his suitcases haphazardly in the trunk of his your car, nary a word is said as he throws you on to his lap in the backseat, touching and fondling every bit of you to relieve himself. the red head is rockhard in mere minutes (no pun intended) and the two of you don’t even bother to partake in foreplay, both pent up from the time apart.
kirishima grunts into your neck, the back of your thighs sat in his wide palms as he hammers into you, “missed this pussy so damn m-much, fuck.” it’s desperate and the windows start fogging as an effect of the rushed ministrations but you can’t find it in yourselves to care much.
kirishima lets go of one of your thighs to hoist it around his hips, opting to place a palm on the window and unknowingly leaving a incriminating handprint.
it was just his luck that the paparazzi caught wind of the heroes that would be leaving this airport, camping outside of the building all morning. it was just their luck that they recognised red riot’s car sat idol in the parking lot. with their cameras set to burst multiple frames a second, they make a beeline to the car… and upon further inspection, they notice the car shaking slightly, as if there were somebody inside.
it’s a shame that all the paps didn’t exactly get the memo of what was going on, with a bright faced obvious newbie giddily taking a photo, flash and sound click on at full blast.
the shaking stops and muffled shuffling ensues. the group of shutterbugs are mortified to see a ragged kirishima exit the car, brows furrowed and lips pursed.
the paps didn’t really lose much out of this equation, though: who even needs those photos when a hefty check was on offer instead?
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࿄ ! — all rights reserved © moominsuki. please do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend my work outside of tumblr. this is strictly prohibited.
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moonstruckme · 5 months
Note
Hey lovely!! Once again have been binging your page, and I saw you mentioned the lack of sirius in your request and I had this idea the other day! So it’s been like the longest day of classes and reader comes back completely slumped like ready to sleep a thousand years and sirius comes in to see her snuggled up in bed, his sweater on, and knocked out cold. Then he is all soft and wipes off her makeup (because half the time I fall asleep with it on and wake up w mascara smudges) and reader wakes up full of sleepy mumbles to sirius. Preferably female reader but if your more comfortable with neutral obviously do what you’re more comfortable with! Much much love to you and your writing 🤍🤍
Hi sweetheart, thanks for requesting!! Much much love to you back :)
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 895 words
Sirius very nearly sits on you. 
He thought you were out and was planning on waiting in your room for you to get back, but now he sees the evidence of your presence: your bag discarded in a heap by the door. You’re hardly more than a sliver of forehead and the tips of curled fingers sticking out from under the bedspread. He reroutes the second he sees you, straightening from his near-sit and biting his tongue to contain a curse. Your breathing is heavy and whistles slightly on the way in. You’re out cold. 
Sirius’ heart feels unbearably tender in the way it often does around you. He swears, when he gets like this even a toothpick would be a lethal weapon against him. He’s a boy made of mush.
He pulls the bedspread down so you don’t smother yourself, revealing your lovely face with tiny smudges of mascara caked under both eyes. And the collar of the sweater he’d found missing last week, the one you’d claimed to know nothing about. Sirius has every right to be angry about that. At least ostentatiously indignant, as is often his preference for dealing with your rare offenses. But the sight of you makes him more fond than is reasonable. You’ve pulled his sleeves down so only your fingers peek out, and the collar is all scrunched up under your cheek, and Sirius is fucked. 
He is absolutely, totally fucked. There’s just absolutely no way he’s got enough room in his heart for this much love. It very well might kill him. 
He keeps moving to give his heart something more productive to do. You’ll wake up feeling frustrated and extra lethargic if your eyelashes are sticky with mascara, and Sirius knows your routine well. He finds the supplies in your cabinet and barely breathes as he swipes the makeup remover over your skin with careful fingers, wiping away the traces of your day. It had to be a long one, to send you so deeply into sleep before the sun has even finished setting. The dying light illuminates your face while Sirius works. He tells himself it’s good for practical purposes as well as just making you look especially lovely. He can have both. 
Your eyes take the most persistence, and that’s when you start to rouse. 
“It’s just me,” Sirius says softly when your hand twitches up as if to feel for his wrist. “You fell asleep with your makeup on.” 
“Oh.” You relax impossibly further under his touch, voice breathy and dulled by sleep. “Thanks.” 
“Anytime, gorgeous.” He gets the last of the mascara off but isn’t ready to be done touching you, brushing the back of his forefinger along your hairline. “What’s done you in so early, huh?” 
Your eyes open for a moment, like you want to make sure he’s really there, before closing again. A pinch appears between your brows. “Headache,” you mumble. As if remembering your misery, your head sinks into his sweater like a chrysalis. 
Sirius’ brows pinch too, though your eyes aren’t open to witness his sympathy. “I’m sorry, lovebug. Did you take something already?” 
You hum in unhappy affirmation. 
“Hasn’t kicked in yet?” 
A halfhearted huff. “Or it’s not really helping.” 
He cards a hand through your hair, rewarded when the tension in your features eases slightly. “I’m sure it will, we’ve just got to give it time. Anything else I can do to help?” 
“Not really.” 
“Oh, come on, sweet thing.” He’s wheedling, covering a tad of desperation with a good heaping of teasing. “You know, I’ve been told that just looking upon me can cure a myriad of ailments. I’m like—what do the muggles have? Their god-human guy.” 
You crack an eyelid, the dryness of your expression undermined by a twitch of your lips. “Are you saying you’re Jesus?” 
“I’m saying that I’ve been told I’m sort of like Jesus,” Sirius corrects you with a grin. He rubs at a nonexistent smudge of makeup on your cheekbone. “So there’s got to be something I can do for you.” 
You release a great, heaving sigh, like your boyfriend is really asking a lot of you. But when you look up at him, there’s a familiar shyness there. “Do you wanna just lie with me for a bit?” 
“Baby.” The teasing leaves Sirius immediately. He softens like dough in your hands. “Of course I do.” He shucks off his shoes before shuffling out of his pants, knowing your rules about outside clothes in bed trump your occasional bashfulness when it comes to nudity. There’s nothing sexual about this anyway. You tuck into Sirius as soon as he’s close enough, and he brings his arms around you protectively, one banded around your ribs and the other curved over your shoulders so he can cup the back of your head. “Don’t be silly,” he whispers with faux malice, kissing your hair. “I always want to do whatever you’re doing. Are we going back to sleep?” 
“Maybe,” you hedge, but Sirius can already hear your voice stretching. You’re slipping away even as your head eases closer to him, your breath tickling his collarbone. 
He tries to match your languid tone to help along the process. “Sounds good, gorgeous. I’ll be here if you need anything.” 
Your reply is barely audible, but Sirius’ heart warms nonetheless. “I know you will.” 
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feyascorner · 2 months
Text
11 | The Fangs Between Us
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summary. In his honest opinion, the artist who drew your portrait should be fired, even if he’s no expert in the arts. Your softer features are far too sharp, and your sharper features are far too soft, in what he supposes is an effort to ‘enhance’ your appearance, but now it just looks plain uncanny. They also forgot to take into account the scars of battle on your skin, a part of your hair that he remembers sticking out more, the sheepishness of your smile looking straight at the painter, the two puncture wounds on your neck…
Ah. He wonders if you still have those. The last time he saw them, they’d nearly faded. And nowadays, you make it a point to keep your neck tucked under your collar, which leaves everything to his imagination.
warnings. angst, comfort, slow burn, reader is a bard
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
parts. TFBU masterlist
a/n. it's been a while! this isn't the longest of chapter but it's to kick my creative juices back into gear :) thank you sm for your patience friends <3
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He knows he hasn’t returned your cloak yet. Unfortunately for you, Astarion has taken a special liking to the dull fabric.
Despite its dreary grey shade and the tears from being worn relentlessly, it’s of surprisingly good quality. It’s the only reason it's survived this long, he reasons, and also why the sun can never pierce through its sewing job and burn into his own skin.
When he felt the tadpole leave him, he thought he would never see the sunlit streets of Baldur’s Gate again. But this cloak of yours has brought him a new sense of freedom he hadn’t had before—free of Cazador, free of an unwelcome visitor in his skull, free of the looming fear of death…and most importantly, free of his fear of the sun.
Being “stuck” in your home has given him too much time. Too much aimless staring at a book he’s already read four times over. Moreover, the others have become somewhat accustomed to his presence again…meaning some (Gale, specifically) don’t mind leaving Astarion by himself. And as much as he hates admitting it, Astarion would rather Gale’s incessant lectures rather than the boring silence you leave behind at the break of dawn.
An outing or two couldn’t hurt, surely.
So he embarks. Where to, he doesn’t know. But he leaves the house, making sure to lock the door behind him when he remembers how Shadowheart had scolded you for the mistake of not doing so. It’s not that he’s afraid of the cleric, of course. He’s a damn vampire, for heaven’s sake. He’s only being cautious.
The cloak makes it feel as if he were in an oven, especially with the weather becoming more sunny by the day, but he can’t bring himself to care. Not when he’s finally standing in the middle of a bustling street, staring unblinkingly while others rush past him, all seemingly having a place to be. A newspaper boy here, a maid there, a circus performer somewhere there. He suddenly feels surrounded by too much life, and it’s not much help when he begins noticing fleeting glances in his direction. Wearing a thick winter cloak in the middle of the summer isn’t exactly common, after all.
“Baldur’s Mouth? They just started printing papers again, if you’d like a peek.”
Astarion glances down at the newspaper boy with squinted eyes, and his voice sounds snarkier than intended—not that he cares. “Who in the hells would pay two silvers for a newspaper that sucked up to Gortash just a few months ago? Does anyone really pay for this abomination?”
The boy frowns, crossing his arms. “If you didn’t want one, you could’ve just said so.”
“Really? Your incessant yelling around the market says otherwise,” Astarion snatches one of the papers, much to the boy’s distaste. He eyes the front cover for a split moment before realizing the very front page has a supposed ‘Exclusive Interview from the Hero of Baldur’s Gate! Never seen before!’
He finds himself reading.
“Mister, if you’re going to read, you have to pay!”
Though Astarion gives him a sharp glare that has the boy swallowing the lump in his throat, he relents, tossing one silver coin in his direction. Not without a click of his tongue, however, and the coin lands in the boy’s palms with a plop. “It’s two silvers.”
“I’m fully aware, don’t worry.”
The Baldur’s Mouth is full of cheap stories, surely paid off by its snotty writer as always, but Astarion acknowledges improvement where it’s due. Gortash’s death must’ve struck some sort of moral chord in the newspaper because a few of its columns are filled with mundane updates on the rebuilding of the city, even if they don’t provide as much entertainment as it surely could’ve if they stretched a few truths. He doesn’t read much into them, though, because he’s soon found himself a corner in Elfsong Tavern where he’s practically boring holes into the damn paper. The cover, specifically.
In his honest opinion, the artist who drew your portrait should be fired, even if he’s no expert in the arts. Your softer features are far too sharp, and your sharper features are far too soft, in what he supposes is an effort to ‘enhance’ your appearance, but now it just looks plain uncanny. They also forgot to take into account the scars of battle on your skin, a part of your hair that he remembers sticking out more, the sheepishness of your smile looking straight at the painter, the two puncture wounds on your neck…
Ah. He wonders if you still have those. The last time he saw them, they’d nearly faded. And nowadays, you make it a point to keep your neck tucked under your collar, which leaves everything to his imagination.
He wonders if you’re ashamed of them as he’s ashamed of the ones on his own neck.
Astarion tears his attention away from your portrait and resumes reading the actual paper.
The questions the interviewer asks are laughable, almost. They’re painfully boring or painfully intrusive, with nothing in between, resulting in awkward short answers or whatever filler the writer put in place of your answer. Half your words, at the very least, must’ve been altered, as they don’t sound much like you.
One question catches his eye.
‘So what does the hero of Baldur’s Gate plan to do after the city is rebuilt?’
Astarion lifts the paper closer to his face.
‘’This city is my home…but I don’t think I could stay here any longer than I have to. I’ve made some precious memories here, but I’ve also made ones that I’d rather move on from. People I want to move on from. For that reason, as much as I love this city, I’d have to embark for elsewhere.’’
His eyes widen. You’re leaving? When the hells did you decide that? 
‘Truly a sad day for the citizens to see their beloved bard leaving. Knowing our readers must be curious as to what their next step is, we made sure to discuss more on this matter.’
‘’Where will I go? I mean…I guess I’d just wander. Explore. Faerun is a vast continent. I’m sure I’ll have plenty to do. Plenty of people to meet.’’
Astarion’s gaze reaches the end of the page. The rest of the sentences babble on in flowery language praising you, which he doesn’t even bother reading before shoving the newspaper into one of the pockets of your cloak. He’s not sure if he would’ve preferred simply not reading the damn paper, but he tells himself that this is an improvement. A reason for celebration, even! Without you, he won’t have to tiptoe around the city any longer, nor will you need to worry about having to continue a months-long argument with him.
This is exactly what the two of you need. Space. For a while. Maybe forever. He stares at the beer stains on the table. Forever sounds like a long time, even if it’s only a few years to him and the rest of your life to you.
Forever sounds too long, yet not long enough.
He’s always wanted to be immortal. Even before he’d grown fangs and his eyes turned red. Sure, the path he took to get here…left a lot to be desired, but with Cazador gone, he supposes it’s not so bad, being a vampire—-besides the whole ‘not-being-able-to-see-the-sun’ fiasco. Sure, he has nightmares every other night about his time spent under his master, but without him, he’s essentially invincible as long as he doesn’t find a cleric who specializes in radiant magic. Sure, wine tastes like vinegar. Sure, he has to wear this suffocating cloak everywhere, but is it really so bad?
He sighs. It could be worse. He could be dead, for all he knows. Actually, dead.
Astarion stands to leave. This damn tavern is even more suffocating than his cloak, especially filled with patrons already half passed out from booze before noon. There’s a reason why he’s always preferred wine over whatever’s filling their cups.
He paces toward the door, but just as he’s halfway there, it swings open. And much to his horror stands a familiar cleric who nearly chucked a fork into his eye just this morning.
“Shadowheart,” the bartender smiles, ceasing his hand midway, polishing a cup. “What brings you here this morning?”
She certainly won’t miss her mark this time if she sees him out in public.
Astarion immediately turns on his heel and heads for the stairs. He practically shoves through multiple patrons in the process, but he manages to get there just as Shadowheart joins Alan at the bar, her arms looped around two large fabric bags as she greets him. They’re just within earshot, even as the spawn scrambles to get upstairs. “Just picking up our attire for the celebration and your tavern was on the way back. My friends and I do apologize for our inconsistent appearances…”
He doesn’t wait to hear the rest of their conversation because he’s already trying the doors to each of the rooms to figure another way out of the building. Most doors are locked shut, but there’s one he tries that slides right open.
Much to his distaste, it’s occupied.
He slams the door back shut just as the woman shrieks.
He peeks out the window. He could jump down, technically, but there are far too many people on the street in broad daylight to go unnoticed. And if there were to be a commotion, no doubt the damn cleric would come rushing out, thinking it’s another attack. So, instead of returning downstairs, he opts for the ladder leading to the rooftop, higher up into the building.
The warm air of the summer breeze hits him like an axe to the face.
Still, he climbs out, grateful to even managed to have escaped the same room as Shadowheart. Thank the heavens. And for a moment, he thinks he’s alone, until there’s another shrill voice rushing at him.
“There you are, Tav! I’ve waited days to see you here agai—" the tiefling stops, her smile dropping. "You’re not Tav.”
Way to state the obvious.
Clearly, he wants to spit back. But he’s too occupied trying to figure out why she looks so familiar to do so. He merely squints at her, which some might consider rude, but she doesn't seem to mind at all. Noticing his confusion, she blinks. “Wait, you’re Tav’s friend!”
Friend. He hasn’t been considered your friend in a long while.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on house arrest?” she tilts her head. “Did you maybe make up with Tav?”
Ah. You must’ve told her about his—peculiar arrangement.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Alfira. We met at the grove and Last Light Inn, didn’t we?” she offers him a smile, which he doesn’t return. She doesn’t wait for an answer either. “I wasn’t expecting you here…Did Tav send you?”
Astarion scrunches his nose as she squints at him, hands on either of her hips as she gauges how he seems to sink further into your cloak, hesitating to kiss the sun’s radiant glow. She doesn’t seem to think much of it, though, as she taps her foot impatiently. “Well?”
“I—yes,” is all his damn brain can spit out.
“Oh,” her face softens, and a soft small stretches across her lips. How gullible. It wasn’t even a particularly good lie. “You should’ve just said so. In that case, I must ask you how they’re doing…I haven’t seen them in weeks. Are they well? Have they started reading up on my lyrics? Have they got a message for me? Ah, scratch those, where are they right now?”
Hells. He’s already itching to jump off the roof.
“Does your head ever implode with all those questions racked inside of it?” he grumbles. “And I’m afraid I don’t know half the answers. Sorry to disappoint.”
Alfira’s shoulders relax as she leans back on her heel, eyes falling to her shoes before she looks back up. “...Well, that’s a shame. Then, what brings you here?”
This time, he’s prepared.
“Seeing the state you’re in, my appearance was warranted. They only wished for me to ensure they’re doing well. It’s a busy time of year, you see, and they haven’t had the time to indulge your—-outings up here.”
“That’s good to hear.”
An awkward silence hangs in the air like a deathtrap, and he wishes he could say something—anything else about what you’ve been up to, but it comes up empty. It’s not like the two of you are on terms to sit down and have a chat every week over tea, but he’s not sure if he knows any more about what you’re doing than this bard standing right before him. You don’t play music anymore. You don’t frequent the bars as much as you used to. You don’t do a lot of things anymore. But what do you do?
It irks him: not knowing, that is.
He only realizes moments later that the bard has been talking this entire time.
“---and I’d really appreciate it if you could take it to them. I can’t imagine anyone else using it as well as they did,” she reaches behind her bag perched against the stair rails, and lifts something in his direction. He’d be a fool not to recognize it anywhere. It’s a pretty thing, the lyre. Your lyre. “I don’t know how I managed to find this at the market, but I like to think it’s fate. Tell them it’s a gift for helping with my songs.”
Astarion stares at the instrument. He runs the tips of his fingers against its familiar strings, taking note of indents he’s all too familiar with and the chips from months running in the wild. The last time he’d held it like this, it felt like it brought him closer to you. Now, it only feels like the cold dead wood it is.
“Were you looking for it?”
“No. Like I said, it must be fate.”
How cheesy.
His lips quirk downward even further, if that’s even possible, as he narrows in on a multitude of new dents and cracks in the wood. The lyre is yours, without a doubt, but it’s clearly seen a different level of care than what you would’ve given it even while fighting to the death. He glares at a particular blemish, and Alfira sighs.
“It’s seen better times, I know. But I’m sure they’d appreciate it even if it’s not how they left it.”
Wouldn’t you? No. He doesn’t know if you’d appreciate it. Why would you? You don’t even play the damn thing anymore, much less produce any music. He contemplates just tossing the object, but the second Alfira sees the glint of hesitation in his eyes, she pounces, shaking her head.
“Please,” she pleads. “Give it to them.”
His brows pinch.
And because he doesn’t want to entertain this tiefling any longer than he has to, and because he’d much rather get out of the sun and no other reason, he huffs. “Fine. I will.”
The smile she gives him doesn’t prompt him to do the same.
Months prior, he could see himself in the reflection of the gloss glazing over the wood. At least, that’s what he thinks because he could see your own expressions reflecting off it when you played it in the sun. It doesn’t hold a glow anymore, much less a reflection.
The lyre weighs heavily in his hands.
“I won’t pry,” Alfira says. “They never really told me what happened between the two of you…I respect your privacy, so I won’t ask. But whatever it was…I do hope it won’t happen again.”
It’s a weak one, but it’s a warning. He’s had plenty of those to figure it out.
“It won’t,” he mutters. 
He’ll be long gone before it can.
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Sleep is a luxury you can't afford nowadays.
Surely, the bags under your eyes are enough of an indication if it weren’t for the sluggishness of your every step. Still, you manage to offer your guest a lopsided smile out of respect. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, I’m alright. Thank you, though,” Yevir says, eyeing you up and down, obviously noting your disheveled state. “Is now not a good time?”
You shake your head, straightening your back against the dining room table with a cough. “It’s alright. I’m only tired. With the preparations for the celebration next week, I’m a bit overwhelmed. I was meaning to speak to you again anyway.”
He doesn’t seem convinced, but you can’t be bothered to deny your exhaustion further.
“You’ve been busy. I’ve seen the dead spawn that they retrieved from the Blushing Mermaid.”
Quite frankly, you feel terrible for the folk who own the place. A hag and then a horde of vampires in their basement in the span of a few months? You think it’d be a sign to close the tavern down.
Your tone remains grim. “Were any of them the woman you were looking for?”
He shakes his head, and a breath of relief escapes your lips. “No, she’s…I still haven’t found her.”
And maybe it’s the fatigue getting to your head, but your mouth moves before you can stop it. “You would think she’d try to meet someone she was so close to.”
It’s insensitive, and you wouldn’t blame him if he promptly stood to leave, but all he does is hang his head, dragging his hands over his face. He doesn’t seem like he’s gotten much rest recently, either. “Trust me, I’ve been wondering that for weeks now.”
“And have you come up with anything?”
“No. None. Zero. All I get are nightmares that I might get to one of my patrol shifts, and I’ll find her dead body lying on the ground somewhere,” he groans. “Well, deader body.”
“Maybe she’s afraid.”
“Of what? Me? Who in the hells would be afraid of me? Certainly not her, I must assure you. She’s always been stubborn, and she’s far more determined than myself, believe it or not.”
“Not you, but of herself. Vampire thirst surely can’t be so easy to control, and let’s be honest…” you point at your own neck, and the place where two puncture wounds should be on your wrist burns. “You’re practically a blood pot being offered to her.”
He frowns. “Is it so hard to control their thirst? I will admit that I don’t know much about vampire spawn aside from the obvious…”
You half snicker to yourself, almost in disbelief. “Believe me, they’re beasts when they’re ravenous.”
“Beasts?”
“Do you blame them? To them, blood is essentially liquid gold,” you shrug. “It tastes nothing like actual blood on their tongue. Sure, it might be a bit adjacent to drinking iron, but if they get their hands on prey, they really like…it tastes sweet to them. Would you deny a treat if you spent decades cooped up inside a dungeon cell, starving?"
Yevir’s face pales.
“See?”
His brows furrow as you sigh into your chair. “I’ve done my own share of research, but books seem to overexaggerate things most of the time…Can I ask how you know so much about them? Even if I manage to find her, I’d want to find some way to make her new life more tolerable…it’s not much, but it’s the least I could do.”
You blink.
Shit. You’ve said too much.
What are you supposed to say? You dated a vampire? Let him ravage you on the forest floor and spent months in his tent? That you kissed him just weeks prior, and he’s living just beside your own room? That he told you what your blood does to him, and reveal the bite marks on your skin?
You stand, your chair legs scraping against the ground.
“I have a book you might like. Let me grab it for you. And some tea, maybe,” you smile almost too widely. Fortunately for you, Yevir only nods.
“I’d appreciate it.”
You essentially grab whatever vampire-related book you have shoved under your bed and rush back downstairs to the kitchen. There isn’t much to learn from the thing with how much you already know, but you’re sure it must contain something that he might consider helpful. You know how horrible it felt to be kept in the dark about vampirism, even more so when you realized just how terrible the relationship between master and spawn tended to be…so a small push certainly wouldn’t hurt. Especially with Yevir's own problems with his beloved spawn. This is how you reassure yourself as you pour whatever tea Gale’s left on the stove into a cup.
If you were in Astarion’s shoes, you’d think becoming a spawn would have been the worst turning point of your life. And for a while, you thought he’d felt the same. A part of you thinks he does. But in the time you’ve spent with him and the stories he’s told you sparingly of his life before Cazador, your gut tells you differently. Especially when he’s drenched in the blood of your enemies, holding the immortality he’s long wished for with a sickening smile stretching on his lips. Guilt pools in your stomach for even bringing up the thought, but you can’t deny it, either.
You wonder if it hadn’t been for Cazador’s leash tying him down, he would’ve turned out differently. More twisted. That he would’ve indulged in the most corrupt parts of him as a magistrate. That maybe he wouldn’t have learned the value of a life. That he would’ve become more alike to him—the man he would’ve become if he’d ascended.
That small voice in your head is what stopped the ascension, for you feared he would lose everything he’d gained in his time as a spawn, no matter how trivial he believed it to be.
You hear the front door opening and snap out of your self-tangent. No use dwelling on it now. What’s done is done. No matter how strange the situation between you and the spawn is now, you’d rather have this than what could’ve happened if you hadn’t listened to your gut. You remain firm, no matter how much he hates you for it.
You pour Shadowheart an extra cup.
But as you step back into the living space, you realize the occupant doesn’t drink tea at all.
Astarion stands in the middle of the room, eyes wide as he stares at your guest with an undeniably bloody sack clutched in one hand. His large, red eyes seem glued to the ones of your guest, who stares back even more appalled as he takes one look at Astarion’s pale skin, the shade of his eyes, and the very bloody bag containing what you assume to be his dinner.
You drop the two cups onto the ground, tea splashing against your feet.
“You—Is he—” Yevir stumbles over his words, yet his instincts as a guard have him reaching for his weapon. “He’s—”
Astarion sneers, though his expression strains as Yevir’s hand reaches his sword. “Now, let’s not do anything that could ruin the wonderfully tasteful furniture in here...”
The Fist snaps his head in your direction. “He’s a spaw–!”
The back of a sword hilt hits the side of his head with an audible ‘thud,’ and he’s out like a light.
You stare at the unconscious body slouched over your dining table for a brief moment in utter shock before you gawk at the culprit. Of course. Lae’zel huffs, awfully pleased for someone who just caused a concussion to an innocent man. “Your soldiers are such children.”
Astarion barks a laugh, though it sounds more of a mix of disbelief and amusement.
You wish you could go one day in this house without another headache to add to the growing list.
Tags: @ayselluna @littleenglishfangirl @bg3obsessedsideblog @iwillpissyourpants @cyberpr1m3 @snowlotr @road-riot @spacekidnova @madislayyy @lordfishflakes @nicalysm @djarinsway @tinystarfishgalaxy @brainz00 @hopeful-n-sad @ohdeerieme @madisban @chrismarium @chonkercatto @fanfic-share @bitterbeanren @sleepyred1703 @miskouly @ravenswritingroom @iamlowkeycrying @deezus-roy @spiritraves @mariposakitten @dinobae-replyacc @whisperingwillowxox @bdudette @misscrissfemmefatale @atropapurpurea @cosywinterevenings @phoenixgurl030 @generalstephkenobi @shadowsmusical @himesuedi @girlygmer-blog @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @hyperfixationwhore @teardropcup @marina-and-the-memes @kiwi-mansanas @woosaaghh @cminr @everybodystaycalm @divineknightmare @bangtanbecks @carolinelec @aelieknox @bluelovesleep @catching-fire-in-the-wind @moonlight-stay @thatbeanieboss @atotalmess-lol @lavender-romancer @roguishcat
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sapchat · 7 months
Text
We Are Not Our Fathers, But I Am Yours
Azriel x Reader
Summary: Back by quite literal popular demand: It’s been a few months since you and Az have taken Hawthorne in, and now he has questions about what you guys are to him.
Warnings: I say bastard once. We talk about Azriel's lovely father and the rest of his family. oo I mention that Elain and Lucien had a weird relationship, but just saying "whatever they got going on"
Words: 2.8k
Part One
You're Reading Part Two!!(2)
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“How is it, being a mother?” Feyre asked while watching Hawthorne play with little Nyx. The six-year-old, whilst bigger than the one-and-a-half-year-old, still knew to be gentle enough to play.
“It’s… nice, I mean I know I’m not his actual mother. But it’s weird, in the last couple of months I feel like I’d do anything to protect him, I mean honestly, I’d probably sacrifice Az to protect him.” I say, giving a chuckle towards the end.
“I know, Rhys and I said the same thing with Nyx. I mean you remember how Rhys was while I was pregnant, but the minute that little boy got here. It was game over for us both.” Feyre said smiling at the little boys.
We sat drinking our tea a little more watching them play in Elain’s garden before she turned to me again.
“I know that you guys are unofficially planning on moving to Windhaven once he’s eight, so he can be trained. Me and Rhys want you guys in his mother’s house. I know you will be back and forth but instead of getting your guys’ own place, just use it.”
I look at Feyre tears in my eyes from what she and Rhys are offering, then grab her hand, “Thank you guys, I’ll be sure to tell Az when we get home.”
“How is the spymaster doing with this… adjustment?” The High Lady asked a small glint in her eye.
I’d taken to the adjustment quite quickly, as I had already been playing caregiver before we had decided. Azriel was adjusting a little slower. I couldn’t tell if it was due to the lack of parental figures in his younger years, or because of how quickly it went from me and him, to me him and a child.
“He’s,” a quick pause, “Adjusting. It’s been slow, and he’s more awkward than usual. Hawthorne pretty quickly accepted that I was essentially a mother to him. But with Az, I don’t know. Hawthorne had a father who protected him for five years, and then we showed up and told him he wouldn’t see him again. He still calls him Azriel, or Azzie, or a variation of that. And whilst he hasn’t called me his mother it’s like it’s on the tip of his tongue.” I tell her honestly.
I mean we never truly expected him to see us as his parents, but it’s still weird having a child call you by name. Nothing with aunt or uncle in front of it or anything either.
“I think it’ll be okay. Hawthorne knows you both love him, and you both care for him and protect him. You get that and Azriel gets that. He couldn’t have two better parents.” Feyre tells me reassuringly. It seemed like she was going to add something else but then Hawthrone ran over, Nyx stumbling after him.
“Can we have cake now Aunty Feyre?” Hawthorne asked looking from his spot at her knees batty his dark eyelashes.
The child really could pass for our child if it came down to it. The same Illyrian features, hazel eyes, dark almost black hair, and golden skin. There have been times when we walked down the street after collecting him from the Velaris school that people had stopped and awed at how cute of a family we were. How our son was so cute and a carbon copy of his father.
Taking the smiles, they receive as thanks; they don’t notice how tense we become. How I glance at my mate, and he just glances down, some distant look in his eye that I can’t describe.
“That’s not up to me,” Feyre says nodding her head in my direction. The little boy looked at me, eyes gleaming in hope.
“Come on little shadow, let’s see if Aunt Elain and the twins have lunch for us,” I say standing and straightening my pantsuit out. I took his hand and waited for Feyre to pick up the little prince and we went into the Townhouse.
Nuala, Cerridwen, and Elain greeted us, pouring some tea into glasses, and watered-down juice into small cups for the boys. Hawthorne ran excitedly to the three in the kitchenette, and looked into Elain’s brown eyes, “You have snacks?”
Elain smiled down at the boy, smiling down at the little Illyrian. “We do have snacks. But I don’t know if you get to have any.” She said, joy glinting in her eyes at pestering the little boy.
Hawthorne looked stunned at her for a second, as if he couldn’t believe he was being denied something, and quickly turned to me, “Aunt Elain’s being mean!”
We all laughed as the little boy pouted in disbelief, even more so when he saw us all laughing. His foot stomped the ground, his wings flaring a little.
The laughing calmed a little as Rhys, Cass, and Az entered the house. They stood in the doorway watching all of us standing around looking at a little grumpy Illyrian.
The child looked at the three males and ran over to Azriel slamming into his legs. He placed a hand lightly on his back and looked around in question. “They’re being mean to me Azzie!”
At that Rhys let out a laugh, Cassian joining in. My mate looked at me in question, “Is there a reason I have a grumpy child hiding in my legs?”
“He’s just trying to get snacks for our lunch. Which he wouldn’t expect that unless someone kept letting him sneak some.” I told him, lightly glaring in his direction, but sent love down the bond nonetheless.
Azriel picked the boy up, his wings fluttering away as he did. “She’s right, you have to eat your lunch before sweets.” Hawthorne looked at Azriel in shock.
“But you and Uncle Cassin always give snacks like that before dinner!” Everyone turned to look at the two in question, a little glimmer of amusement shining through.
Feyre looked to me with humor all over her face, “Well, now we know why he hardly eats his lunch and dinner now.”
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It was later in the evening; you were trying to give the boy a quick little bath. He was mainly just splashing around. Azriel watched with amusement as you tried to run a cloth over him.
“You could help you know. I mean how did Rhys’ mother give all of you baths.” I say huffing wiping sweaty hair from my face. You were going to need a bath after this.
Azriel had a small smile on his usual blank face, “She usually gave up after the first five minutes. I’m surprised you’ve tried this for as long as you have.”
Having the child around has made him more emotionally viewable. Where he used to only show how he felt, few and far between, now it’s more common. Sitting on your heels you let an exhausted sigh leave.
“You know little thorn in my side,” You say pinching his nose, he laughs in response, “I’m just going to sit over here and when you deem yourself clean let me know.” The dark-haired boy nodded and went back to playing immediately.
You walked over and sat by Az, leaning your head against him. “Who knew raising a little Illyrian was such work.”
Azriel leaned his head down letting out a huff of a laugh. “Imagine more than one in a house.” And you did, just for a second. But it wasn’t Rhys, Cassian, or Azriel you were picturing. It was Hawthorne and a few others. Some that did look like Azriel and one that looked like you. You pictured it long enough that you must have somehow sent what you were thinking down the bond. Because Azriel sent nothing but joy and love back.
“Let’s get this one situated first,” Azriel whispered, arm wrapping around you. You smiled up at him, excitement glistening in your eyes.
By the time you sent Azriel to put the kid to bed, you stayed back to clean up the mess in the bathroom. By the time you got to the boys’ room, you could hear them talking.
“Why don’t I have ears like her?” It was Hawthorne asking the question, and it made you pause in confusion.
“Because she’s what is called High-Fae, and you’re an Illyrian. Like me.” There was shuffling, Azriel must have been tucking him in.
“So… does that mean she can’t be my mom?” It was a quiet question, and silence followed after it.
“What makes you say that little shadow?”
“Well, if I’m like you, and she’s not like us. Then she can’t be my mom, right? Like Nyx. Aunt Feyre and Uncle Rhys both have pointy ears, just like Nyx.”
“You don’t have to look like someone for them to be family. Just like me and your uncles don’t look alike, they’re still my brothers. Just like she can still be your mom. Now, it’s time for you to get to bed.” You smiled, and quickly wiped your face before entering the room.
“What are we still doing up little soldier?” You walked over to him and took Az’s spot on the bed. Hawthrone smiled at you, peeking out from under the covers.
You tucked him in just a little tighter, leaned over and gave him a kiss on the head then brushed his hair from his face.
You sat for a second, looking at your little joy, then whispered goodnight, and just when you went to shut the door you heard it. “Goodnight mama.”
Holding back your tears just a little, you turned back and said, “Goodnight little shadow.” Then shut the door. And turned to Azriel's chest to shed some of the tears.
“Come on,” he whispered, “Let’s get you cleaned up and then to bed.”
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You had picked Hawthrone up from school a few days later when he asked you a question.
“You and Azriel are together, right?” It surprised you; it was an odd question for a six-year-old. “Like… Like Aunty Feyre and Uncle Rhys?”
“Yes. Just like them, me and Azriel are mates. You remember what mates are right?” I said holding his hand as we walked down the sidewalk by the Sidra. You and Azriel had talked to him about a few things before you guys could get him in a school. So, he could know who his family would be, and about some of the world.
He nodded his head, he knew the story of me and Azriel, at least as kid friendly as you could get with Az’s job. I mean you yourself were only a healer at the school before meeting the Inner Circle. Then Madja recruited you to help with what few kids came through her shop. After about three years you were Madja’s right-hand man, thus introducing you to the Inner Circle for all their bumps and bruises. So Hawthrone knew you two were mates, like Feyre and Rhysand, and Nesta and Cassian. Whilst Elain and Lucien’s dynamic still confused him a little.
“So, if you’re my mother, does that make Az my father?” You almost stumbled at the question. Azriel had struggled in the first few weeks of having Hawthrone, he didn’t have good parental figures, so trying to play dad to a kid was a struggle.
With Nyx he had no issue, he could play uncle, be there for a few hours but at the end of the day Nyx went back to his own parents.
“Do you want Azriel to be your father?” I asked a little hesitant, I didn’t want to cause any issue for Az, or Hawthorne. It hadn’t been that long ago that you guys got him out of a bad situation in an Illyrian camp. From his own father.
“I don’t know. I know he likes me now. Before it was… strange,”
“Confusing, you’re looking for the word confusing.”
“Cun-fushion.”
“Well, if you’re really confused then you could ask him. He always tells you that you can tell him anything. The same goes for asking questions. That’s called communicating.” Hawthorne sounded the word out to himself, then sat for a minute in thought. Right as you were about to ask him a question he perked up, wings twitching.
“Oo oo oo can we stop and get sweets!” You’ve got to pick a different path to walk along.
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“We’re home-!”
“We got sweets!!”
“We got sweets! Hawthorne those were supposed to be a surprise.” Setting the box of treats down on the table of the River House you followed the tiny stuttering of feet flying through the house in the direction of the rest of the voices.
You found some of the family in the sitting room and joined Azriel on the arm of his chair. Hawthorne was already telling Elain about his very eventful day at school, using his arms to explain it better.
I leaned over just slightly so Az could hear me, “He was asking some questions on the walk here.”
Azriel turned and looked at me, a look of almost fear in his eyes. Then furrowed his eyebrows in question.
“Nothing serious was just asking if we were together, a few other things I’ll tell you alone.”
“He asked if we were together?” I laughed a little then ran a hand through his hair looking at my boy.
“Yea, I thought the same thing. Asked if it was the same way as Rhys and Feyre.”
“Was it serious? What he asked, which is why you don’t want to tell me here.” There’s that wariness that Azriel always had regarding us.
“Just… something I figured we could talk to him about later, about parentage.” Azriel is all but locked up at that. Hands that had been clasped together moved to hide almost, shadows coming to drape over him a little. One moved to join Hawthorne and wrapping around him. “Just the basics, but it could be time to tell him something though, before we all go to Windhaven.”
Azriel nodded his head, distress flowing down the bond, I sent reassurance back.
By the time dinner was done, the sweets were eaten, and everyone went off to their respective houses. You met Hawthorne and Azriel in his room with some cocoa. Whipp cream and cinnamon on top.
“Wanna know how I got these marks on my hands?” Hawthorne glanced down at Azriel’s hand, then to his face, an indescribable look on his little face. Then he slightly nodded.
“I was born to a lord in a camp. My mother wasn’t with him though, remember how you had called me a bastard when we first met?” Hawthorne nodded guiltily, “It’s okay, that’s what it’s called when your mother and father have a kid without being together. My father’s wife didn’t like it, didn’t like me.” Azriel took a deep breath, and I handed him a cup, so he had something to fidget with.
“They had two other sons, older that didn’t like. Since they didn’t like me, they kept me locked away in… my bedroom,” the safest option rather than a ‘dungeon’ “One day, my brothers decided to test how well we could heal…. By the time my father’s guards got there, it was too late, and the fire did this.”
“Did your father do anything to stop them from being mean to you…?” Hawthorne silently asked Azriel, looking at his hands and then back to his face.
“No. My father was a really bad man. Really mean too. Kept me away from people and from flying, but when they found out I could talk with the shadows, they took me to the camp we’ll go to when you’re older. And I met your Uncle Rhys and Uncle Cassian, and Aunt Mor.” Azriel told him, Hawthorne glanced in my direction now.
“Was my father like yours was?” Hawthorne asked me, Azriel eyes widened a little, I opened my mouth to answer and reassure him but Azriel beat me to hit.
“No! You are nothing like your father. Understood?” Hawthorne nodded, “Just like I’m not my father.”
Hawthorne sat for a second, even more silent than usual when pondering a question.
“Are… are you, my father? Like she’s my Mother?” A silent tear dripped down your mate's face, almost matching the ones building in your own.
“I am nothing like either of our fathers. And whilst I might not be the one who created you, your father, I can be your father. If you’ll allow me to.” Hawthorne’s eyes watered up then flung himself into Azriels’ arms, wings trying to wrap around him. Azriel hugged back and wrapped his own wings around him, as you sat taking in the scene.
He stood from his hugging position and took your hand, and the three of you went just two doors down to your own room. Where the three of you slept, you on the left, Azriel on the right, and just under Azriel’s wing and under your arms was Hawthorne. The little dark-haired, hazel-eyed Illyrian slept soundly, between his two parents.
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Like it, tell me how you feel, share it with your friends. Share it with your grandma. Share it with the weird guy that lives at the end of the street who knows way too much about the K.G.B
Side note if you made it this far please dear god tell me what you would get the IC for solstice/Christmas presents. I have ideas for them all but Rhys. Please it can be on anom or anything 😂
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samwinchesterswifu · 11 days
Text
You Shook Me All Night Long (Dean Winchester x Reader) Smut
Bunker seasons era
Song Inspo: "You Shook Me All Night Long" by ACDC
Warnings: literally the whole thing is just smut lmfao
MINORS DNI
A/N: ive been having TERRIBLE writers block. I dunno how happy i am with this one, so PLEASE let me know if this good smutty shit yall, thnxs for your endless support <3
Word Count: 1103
Summary: He surprises her with coming home early...but that's not the only thing he surprises her with.
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The boys were away on a week long hunt. Since injuring her knee a few months ago during a Ghoul hunt, she’s decided to take a break from hunting to allow her body full time to heal. This allowed her a lot of time to make the Bunker a proper home for them. She would spend her weekends keep housing if the boys were still gone, then during the week she would spend time in the library cataloging or helping with research. Then, whenever Dean came home, she was hands on with focus. Her and Dean had been a thing for a little while. The stress of the job eventually breaking down the tough looking hunter asking her to be his life partner. She had happily agreed. There was no real label on their relationship, just two people who understood each other more than any other human.
It was a Sunday morning. Dean had called her the night before, informing her that they would probably be home Sunday night, or possibly into Monday. She was excited to see Dean. Since taking her leave, Dean coming home from these longer hunts added an extra excitement to their relationship. But knowing he won’t be home until as late as tomorrow, she treated it like any other Sunday.
Dressed in little shorts, a cute tank top that showed off her features she began her cleaning routine. Starting in the war room, making her way through the kitchen and then finally to the library. Music blasted throughout the speaker system of the bunker. Charlie had helped set her up with a Bluetooth connection to the old raggedy speakers one weekend while the boys were gone and they had a girls date. It was her little incentive to stay motivated.
One of her favorite 80’s song began on a new rotation of shuffle and she began swagging her hips to the beat of the song while spraying cleaner on the library tables, bending over to get all the way across. She was so distracted by the beat that she didn’t even hear the bunker door open. Dean had arrived home early as a surprise. Dancing around the tables, doing small spins or dance moves, Dean just admired her from a distance. He never got to see her like this. He dropped his bag down and with a thud she turned around to see him. Completely flustered that she was caught. The two of them just starred, Dean was practically undressing her with his eye making her squirm under his gaze.
Neither of them said anything as Dean strode towards her. Grabbing onto her hips, and pulling her tight to his chest. Breathing in the cheap cologne Dean always loved to wear, practically getting drunk off his sent alone. A grin creeps on Dean’s face and he sways the two to the beat. Eyes were locked on one another as he gave her a little spin before bringing her back into sway. A deep blush forms across her cheeks. She hardly ever saw Dean this way, usually this was after a good hunt and no one got hurt. Towards the end of the song, Dean crashes his lips to hers. This was a new hunger she hasn’t experienced. Sure, they’ve had make-up sex, ‘I thought I lost you back there’ sex, and so forth. But this was different, it was ravenous. Dean’s kisses grew heavier, teeth clashing as he drove his hands all over her curves.
At this point, her hips were pinned against one of the library tables. Dean broke away from her lips, kissing along her cheek and down towards the nape of her neck. Nibbling away at different spots along her collar bone. Small mewls and moans of pleasure leave her lips, earning a tighter grip of his hands on her. Dean leans down for a brief moment, hoisting her up by her legs to sit her on the table. He gently pushes her shoulders back on the hardwood, and continues to trail kisses down her clothed body. As he gets closer to her stomach, Dean shifts to be on his knees. Which was surprising. He places tiny kisses across her hips as he uses his hands to push open her legs. Dean yanks off her shorts underwear in a swift movement. Both pieces coming off together. This man was starving for her.
“Fuck,” Dean whispers looking at her pussy. His eyes drift back up to hers as he licked his lips.
In a split second, Dean was diving in. Lapping away at her folds like it was the most delectable fruit Dean has ever tasted in his time on earth. An orgasm was ripping through her body with moments. She tugs on his hair as he continues to coach her through the orgasm. But Dean wasn’t done, he was still at it. Moans echoed through the library and she felt so unholy. This is where men of generations came to learn about the monsters of her world, and yet her she was, bare ass on the same table as her man ate her out alive.
Another orgasm was on the horizon, and like the quick man that Dean Winchester is, two of his broad fingers are inserted into her folds. A shocked and rattled moan escapes her at the shock of surprise and pleasure. His fingers are going in and out like a jack rabbit. Dean occasionally curling them to reach her g-spot.
“Come on baby,” Dean whispers from his spot. This man was fucking edging her on.
Another finger inserted.
“If you want my cock, I’ll need another one from you,” his voice was demanding. And she was prepared to meet those demands.
His attack on her just sped up more, and more. While simultaneously sucking on her clit. But finally, she was close.
“Fuck, Dean,” she gasps. Tugging again at his strands.
“Don’t..stop,” breathing was labored and felt like she was about to see stars. She was there…she was right there…
Then there was nothing. The area Dean was just in was cold. Looking up in utter confusion, she sees her man pulled away. His chin shining with her cum and a shit eating grin plaster on his damn face.
She stutters.
“Y-you, you cant do that, please Dean.” The unpleasant feeling of an orgasm left unfinished pulsated through her.
“I’m gunna need you to last all day sweetheart, I’m not done with you yet,” He says as he gets up from his position.
Giving her a wink, he simply walks away leaving her baffled.
What the hell am I getting myself into.
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stevie-petey · 7 months
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episode one: the vanishing of will byers
Steve nods, as if you almost getting hit by his car makes perfect sense to him. When you walk over to your bike and inspect it for any damage, he follows after you.  “So,” he whistles, trying to pretend that this is all a completely normal occurrence. “You, uh, need a ride?” Honestly you don’t know why you’re surprised he hasn’t noticed the clear signs of you crying, your swollen eyes and red nose. Not only is he a boy, but he’s also Steve Harrington. It’s a miracle he even stopped to make sure you weren’t dead.
summary: jonathan smuggles you free food in exchange for friendship, will goes missing the one time you listen to jonathan, hopper doesn't really like you, and steve harrington almost hits you with his car as you're sobbing like a damn baby (in a cool way).
rating: general, although there's plenty of cursing and slight innuendos, so fair warning.
warnings: cursing, fem!reader, and use of y/n.
words: 7k
before you swing in: hello ! this is the first chapter of my come home series, where i plan on rewriting the entirety of stranger things because i really love a good rewrite fic and this is me just indulging in my ideal fic fantasies tbh. before we start: this is a steve x reader fic, however there will be some slight feelings between the reader and jonathan because, but it doesn't at all get in the way of steve and honestly just adds to the angst because i love a good tragedy. also, reader is dustin's older sister, but i tried to write her as neutral as possible in terms of physical features, so let's all just play along. that is all ! i'm very excited for this series and i hope y'all enjoy her as much as i do :)
-
November 6th, 1983
Your shift at Bookstrordinary ends at 8:30 tonight, so as soon as you’ve organized all the books within the store and cashed out the last customer, you say goodnight to your boss, Mrs. Waters, and clock out. Today had been a longer shift, and it didn’t help that you had to deal with a particularly eager bookclub mother who insisted that you had the latest copy of some obscure novel that she needed for her club. After several attempts to inform her that no, you really didn’t have some novel about a cowboy falling in love with a rodeo girl from Michigan, nor would you ever want to read that, the mother angrily walked away. 
You’re happy to finally be free from work though, excited to see Jonathan to tell him about the book club mom because you know he gets a kick out of those suburban middle class mothers that terrorize Hawkins. He works across from you, at The Hawk theater, and it’s one of your favorite things about the bookstore. Besides getting to be surrounded by books all day and reading Spider-Man, you get to be across the street from your best friend and share frequent breaks together. 
A bell signifies your arrival at the theater, alerting Jonathan to look up from the concession stand and smile at you. He looks tired, which you can understand. It’s been a particularly long school year so far with Jonathan having to work more shifts than usual to support his family. 
“Welcome to The Hawk, can I interest you in our specialty popcorn and candy corn mixture?”
You make a face, “No, thanks. Candy corn freaks me out.” 
Jonathan laughs, knowing you’d say that. It’s been a running joke between the two of you for as long as you can remember. You’re not picky with most foods, but candy corn? The bane of your existence. “Tough crowd, then.” 
You laugh as well, now standing in front of the counter, and you learn against it so that you’re in Jonathan’s space. After being friends for so long, personal space doesn’t exist between the two of you. You’re the only person that Jonathan lets get this close to him on a regular basis, which you’re secretly proud of. 
“So, you almost done so we can pick up our idiotic brothers?” Tonight, as usual, Will and Dustin are at Mike’s house playing DnD. They’d biked over as soon as school let out, while Jonathan drove you to work, so he was your ride back for the night. 
He shakes his head at you, wincing, “I picked up an extra shift tonight. Stacy called out sick, and it’s good money…”
You nod in understanding. He doesn’t have to explain himself to you, which he’s always relieved by. 
“It’s okay. Is my bike still in your trunk?” 
“Yeah, I can get it out for you since I’m kind of ditching you tonight.” 
You wave him off, already reaching across the counter to grab his keys from his coat pocket. “No need, I’ll get it out myself so you don’t get in trouble with your boss.” Jonathan’s boss is an older guy, extra scary. “I’m assuming that I’m taking Will home tonight?” 
“It’ll be late by the time you get the boys, and you’ll have Dustin. We only live a couple blocks apart, you can just bike with Will until you get to your street.”
“Are you sure? I know he’s scared of the dark.” 
“It’s fine, Y/N. You’re already doing enough being there for most of the ride; I’m sure Will can survive the last five minutes alone.” 
You give Jonathan an unsure look, but you don’t argue with him. He’s his brother, he knows Will’s capabilities, and it’s an unspoken fact that you baby Will a bit too much. He’s just so much tinier than the other boys, softer in a way that you want to protect. He’s special. 
Jonathan sneaks you a large peach lemonade and hot dog from the concession stand when you return with his keys. You’ve parked your bike up front, and you accept the food gratefully. You hadn’t had time to eat your usual dinner during your break due to the bookclub mother fiasco, so you inhale the food quickly and give his hair a ruffle. 
“You’re a lifesaver, bee.” 
Jonathan lightly hits your hand away from his hair. “Consider it your payment for dealing with Will and Dustin on your own tonight, bug.” 
Bee and bug were the names the two of you had given each other years ago. Jonathan had started it with bug, stemming from the fact that you love Spider-Man so much, and you had struggled to come up with your own nickname for him. Then it came to you: bee, or B, for Byers. It was perfect, and you’re still incredibly proud of yourself for the creativity, honestly. 
After your quick dinner, you say goodbye to your friend and head off. It’s late now, nearing 9, and you hope that Mrs. Wheeler and your own mom won’t be too upset with you for being late for pick up. You know they prefer to have the boys in bed by a decent hour, but in your defense, Jonathan did skip out on you.
You arrive at the Wheeler’s in a short amount of time and knock on the door. Your cheeks are flushed from the early November cold, and you’re regretting that you only put on a thin sweater and jeans this morning.
Mike answers the door, giving you a dirty look. “Did you have to come early?”
“I’m actually later than usual,” you sidestep him, making your way into his house; you’ve become used to Mike’s attitude. “I take it the campaign is still ongoing?”
“See, mom? Even Y/N understands how long a good campaign can go on for!” Mike waves his arms at you, as if to signify to his mother the importance of your understanding. 
Mrs. Wheeler ignores her son to greet you kindly, albeit a bit exasperated. “Hello, Y/N, please come in.” Then she turns to Mike, giving him a stern look. “Mike, why don’t you tell Y/N how you boys have been playing for ten hours? I’m sure she’ll be understanding then.” 
“You guys have been playing for ten hours?”
Mike looks down in embarrassment for a second before turning to his father for help. You laugh a bit at his enthusiasm and see a faint smile on his mom’s face as well. Quietly you excuse yourself to go downstairs to find the other boys, and Mrs. Wheeler wishes you luck. 
Everyone always acts like the boys are some giant pain; truthfully, you enjoy them. Sure, they can be a handful, but they’re just kids; it’s hard for you to ever stay mad at them. Plus they like you, so it makes dealing with them easier. 
Lucas, Dustin, and Will are running around the basement when you get down there, frantically searching for something. You hear Lucas inform Will that if Mike doesn’t see something, then it doesn’t count. The urgence in his voice amuses you; you’ll never fully wrap your head around why they take DnD so seriously, but you love that they can enjoy it with each other. 
Dustin is the first to see you. “Y/N!”
The other boy’s heads turn to you and they greet you with enthusiasm as well. Will rushes towards you for a hug, which you gladly accept. When you break apart, Lucas gives you a high five and asks about a comic you’ve put on hold for him at the store. 
“Any luck?”
“Sorry, Sinclair. It’s still sold out, but the second it’s restocked I’ll smuggle one for you.” 
“Sick!” 
Dustin walks over, now in his coat and holding a pizza box. “Want a slice?” 
You decline, informing him that Jonathan snuck some food for you. At the mention of his brother’s name, Will asks where he is. You tell him that Jonathan had to cover a shift and that you’ll be taking him most of the way home tonight. 
As you all make your way upstairs, you notice that Dustin continues up to the second floor. Lucas notices too, and the two of you share a knowing look. 
“Still have a crush on Nancy?” You ask, already knowing the answer. 
“Yup.” Lucas responds, smiling in disappointment. 
You wait for your brother outside, helping Will with his coat and listen to Mike’s rambling about the campaign. Lucas is already on his bike, ready to go. 
“There’s something wrong with your sister.” Dustin declares when he finally returns.
Mike looks at you, then at your brother, confused. “What are you talking about?” 
“She’s got a stick up her butt.” 
“Dustin!” You berate. Nancy isn’t your favorite person, but she’s always been nice to you the few times you’ve interacted. You guys used to be closer when you were younger, but high school has a way of distancing people.
“Yeah,” Lucas now speaks up. “It’s because she’s been dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington.” How the hell does Lucas even know about that? You didn’t even know about that until just now. 
“Lucas! Language!” 
“Yeah, she’s been turning into a real jerk.”
“Dustin, I swear to God-” 
The boys ignore you, which you’re honestly not surprised by. While they may like you, that doesn't mean that they listen to you. On a good day they maybe listen to you 25% of the time, but tonight was clearly not a good night. 
Mike finally cuts in, “She’s always been a real jerk.”
“Hey, she’s your sister. Give her some credit-”
Dustin is now the one who cuts you off. “Nuh-uh, only you get the sister leniency, Y/N. Nancy used to be cool, now she isn’t.” 
“Remember that time she dressed up as an elf for our Elder tree campaign?” Lucas asks, almost reminiscent. 
You shudder at the way he says it, and you shudder more when you see the dreamy look in your brother’s eyes. “Yeah, I remember…” 
“Gross,” you huff at your brother, now hopping on your own bike. 
Lucas and Dustin begin to pedal away, and you call after them to wait up. Will is still with Mike, and you promised Jonathan you’d get him home. You give the boys a bit of space, waiting a few paces ahead. Will has always been shy around Mike, something that you’ve tried not looking into too much, but to be safe you give them some privacy. 
Faintly, you hear Will say, “The Demogorgon, it got me.” 
Lights flicker a bit, but you’re too focused on the slight unease you feel by Will’s words. Before you can think too much about them, he joins you. “Race you up to Lucas and Dustin?”
“You’re on,” you tell him. 
Will beats you to the boys (which you let him do), and you’re out of breath. The four of you bike in silence for a bit until you reach Lucas’s turn into his neighborhood. 
“Good night, ladies.” He says, and you don’t need to be a psychic to know what your brother’s response is going to be.
“Kiss your mom ‘night for me.” Bless him.
You and Will giggle together, and Dustin smirks at the two of you, proud. He sits in the praise for a few moments before challenging you and Will to race home with the promise of a comic for whoever wins. 
“I call last year’s Black Cat issue of Spider-man!” You call out, already biking away from the boys. 
“We didn’t say go!”
Dustin and Will call after you as they try to catch up, and within a few seconds the three of you are speeding down the hill towards your home. You laugh gleefully, enjoying the way the wind whips through your hair and the way Dustin, though annoyed by your early start, laughs alongside you with Will. 
Somehow Will is the one who wins the race, which you’re impressed by. He may be small, but he’s surprisingly good at winning when it comes to a competition. Dustin shouts at Will that he’ll kill him, which makes you send a warning look at him. 
“I’ll take your X-Men 134!” Will retaliates, still flying through the street. 
You and Dustin are now stopped at your mailbox and you take a moment to catch your breath before shouting at Will, “Be careful, please! Stay safe!”
“I’ll be fine, I promise!” Will’s voice is distant, now a few yards away, and you stand outside for a few more seconds to watch his figure disappear into the night. Dustin has already gone inside but you wait to follow, only going inside when you can no longer see Will, hopefully home safe and sound. You feel fear creep upon you, but you chalk it up to your usual worry when it comes to the boy. 
He’ll be okay, Jonathan should be home within the hour. 
– 
The next morning you’re frantically biking to school, pissed off at Jonathan. He’s your ride every morning, or everywhere, really, and for the second time in 24 hours he’s bailed on you. Dustin left for school ages ago on his bike, so you’re thankful he doesn’t see you embarrassingly sweaty and gross as you race to school. 
It’s not that you’re pissed that Jonathan bailed again, you’re pissed because he didn’t even have the nerve to call you ahead of time to warn you. Now you have only ten minutes before the first bell rings, and your sweater clings to you uncomfortably as you sweat. 
You make it to school with a few minutes to spare, so you quickly make your way over to your locker to grab the necessary books for the day. You’re still sweaty, and you don’t want to even think about what your hair looks like right now. You look down the hall towards Jonathan’s locker, still not seeing him, and you begin to worry a bit. Maybe he overslept after last night’s shift? 
A body crashes into yours, sending your notebooks spiraling to the ground. Steve Harrington looks at you sheepishly, only saying a small “whoops!” before continuing his fast pace towards the girl’s bathroom. You scoff, now even more annoyed with your entire morning, picking up your stuff as you see Nancy enter the same bathroom a few moments later. 
“In a public school bathroom?” You mutter in disgust, collecting the last of your things and heading to class. 
You decide to give Jonathan until second period, sophomore English which the two of you share, before you freak out. You know you have a problem with over worrying about the people you love, so you try to calm yourself down. While Jonathan has never been the type to cancel without at least calling first, you reason with yourself that everyone has a bad morning. He simply slept in too late. When he wakes up, he’ll come to school and he’ll be sitting in the seat next to you in English. 
Except Jonathan isn’t in the seat next to yours when you enter the classroom an hour later. Now you officially let yourself begin to worry. Something about this doesn’t feel right. 
You’ve never skipped class before, school has always been important to you. You’re the top of your class with hopes of running away from Hawkins with Jonathan to a big city with an even bigger university. However, you don’t even hesitate to flee the classroom and find the nearest phone in the school to call the Byers’ residence. 
Jonathan answers after a few rings, and the words that leave his lips change your life forever. “Will is missing.”
You feel all the air in your lungs be knocked out of you. You can’t breathe and you sway a bit as your knees threaten to give out. This isn’t real, this can’t be happening. 
“What?”
“Will, he-he’s gone, Y/N. We can’t find him and-” 
You don’t hear whatever else Jonathan says. You struggle to get air back in your lungs. Will isn’t missing, you just saw him last night. Mere hours ago Will laughed next to you, face alive with joy, he hugged you and joked along with you. 
“He didn’t come home last night-”
“He didn’t come home?” Jonathan’s words catch your attention and you feel bile rise in your throat. Will didn’t make it home last night. You were the last one to see him, and the realization crushes you; it’s all your fault. 
“Mom and I just searched the woods, and there’s no sign of him and-” Jonathan is rambling now, his own fear and despair clear in his voice. 
“Jonathan,” you force his name out, now needing to be there for your best friend. You can worry for Will in your own time, right now Jonathan needs you. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” 
“Y/N, you don’t-”
You hang up before Jonathan can argue with you and stumble towards the exit. Your limbs feel heavier than normal, and your ears are ringing. Will is missing. He’s so small, he’s scared of the dark… You left him alone in the dark. 
The bike ride to the Byers home is a blur. You don’t remember much, your body going on autopilot the second you hopped on your bike. You’re running on pure fear and adrenaline right now, too worried for your boys to focus on anything else. 
You don’t bother to knock when you arrive, instead you let yourself in. Joyce is on the phone, arguing with some woman named Cynthia. Your eyes find Jonathan’s, who is sitting on the couch hunched over something. You walk over to him and sit down beside him and your stomach lurches when you see the words “have you seen me?” he’s so neatly printed out on a piece of paper.
“Bee…” you exhale, voice cracking a bit. 
Jonathan doesn’t say anything, but you know him as well as you know yourself. He doesn’t want comforting words right now. You take his hand into yours and lean your head against his shoulder. Worry has made his muscles tense, but you feel him relax into you a bit as he rests his own head against yours. The two of you sit like that for a moment, taking in the comfort you bring each other. 
“Bitch!” Joyce slams the phone down, causing you and Jonathan to jump apart. 
“Mom,”
“What?” Joyce is a mixture of both rage and anxiety, and you feel awful looking at her. Her son is missing, you can’t imagine what she must be feeling right now.
“You have to stay calm.” Jonathan tells her, his voice firm but kind. You know it’s taking everything in him to be as stable as he is right now; he’s putting on a front for his worried mother. You squeeze his hand, hoping it conveys the support and love that you need it to.
He squeezes back, and you see Joyce finally recognize that you’re there as well. She sends you a weak wave, which you return, before she goes back to dialing and trying to reach Lonnie. Jonathan gives your hand one last squeeze and lets go, now returning back to the posters. You immediately understand that he’s doing this to distract himself, so you do the same and wordlessly help him.
You begin writing your own “have you seen me?” when Joyce once again slams her phone down. The sound makes you flinch, inadvertently messing up your writing, which you sigh at. Before you can ask Jonathan for another piece of paper, you hear a car pull up. 
Jonathan stands up to investigate, alerting his mom that the cops are here. You follow after them outside, your heart dropping when you see Will’s bike in the Chief’s hand. He ushers everyone inside, informing Joyce that he found the bike lying in the road.
“How far was it from the house?” You ask, your voice frail. 
The Chief looks at you, his nametag informs you that his name is Hopper, and raises his eyebrows. “And can I know who is asking?” 
You clear your throat, nervous under his scrutinizing gaze. “I’m Y/N Henderson. I’m close with the Byers, I biked with Will home,” your voice catches in your throat, snagging onto the guilt that has been clawing at you ever since you found out Will was missing. You clear your throat again, determined to continue. “I was with him last night. My brother and I live right off Mirkwood, a few blocks from here. He only had a few more minutes before he would’ve been home.” 
Hopper stares at you. “Mirkwood?”
“It’s where-”
“Yeah, those moron kids explained it to me. I just didn’t think someone your age would call the street that, too.” Then, as an afterthought, Hopper adds, “The bike was found a block from here.”
His words sting, but you ignore it. If the bike was found only a block from the Byers’ home, then that means that something had to have happened to Will only minutes after you last saw him. You feel the familiar churning in your stomach, wracked with guilt. 
“Did it have any blood on it?” Joyce now asks, and you’re thankful she’s taken the attention off of you. 
Jonathan sees your distress and grabs your sweater so that you fall back a bit from the cops and Joyce. “Do you need a minute?”
You can only nod, afraid that if you open your mouth you’ll either cry or throw up. He gently guides you to his room, closing the door. Once you’re alone, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in tight. You’re shaking harder than ever now, Will’s happy and shining face from last night keeps flashing through your mind. 
You were the last one who ever saw him.
You’re the one who was last responsible for him. 
You.
“It’s not your fault,” Jonathan whispers, his voice muffled by your hair. You’ve always loved how you fit perfectly in his arms, your height difference being just enough that he always rests his chin against your head when he hugs you. 
“I’m the last person who saw him.”
“Y/N, I was the one who asked you to only bike him halfway-”
“No,” your voice comes out louder than you intend it to, and you push Jonathan away. He lets out a confused noise as you grapple at him, forcing him to look directly at you. “I should’ve been with him, Jonathan. It’s your job to support your family, and it’s my job to help you. I have to… I have to be the one who helps you.” 
You’ve always been fascinated by psychology, and you remember reading in one of the journals about codependency; the term was used in relation to addiction, specifically alcoholism, but it had caught your interest. To love someone to the extent that their actions make you feel responsible for them, to selflessly take on their burdens to a debilitating extent, well, it reminded you of your relationship with Jonathan. 
You’ve always taken on whatever Jonathan has had to deal with, ever since you were kids, and it’s always come so naturally to you. He’s never asked you to, and sometimes the extent to which you carry his weight angers him, but it’s how you love.
It’s who you are. You’re always the one who helps, it’s what you need to be able to do. If you can’t help the ones you love the most, then what good is your love for them?
Jonathan may not know about codependency, but he knows how hard you love those closest to you. “Bug, listen to me.” He grabs your face, almost aggressively, in order to cut off your rambling. “My mom, she-she’s already spiraling and I can’t… I need you. I need you to be here, with me, right now. If I lose you too, then I-I don’t know what I’ll do.”
His words cut through you like glass. He’s right, you know he’s right, and you feel another wave of guilt wash over you. This guilt is different from the guilt surrounding Will. This is mixed with shame for allowing yourself to spiral so far and forcing Jonathan to take care of you. Joyce is clearly unwell, you can’t fathom how much he’s had to deal with today. 
You gently remove Jonathan’s hands from your face and take a step back. If you’re going to help him, you need to collect yourself. From here on out, you have to be a wall for him to lean on, a shoulder to cry on, someone who will listen to him. 
“I’m sorry.” 
Jonathan shrugs at you, now allowing a hesitant smile to cross his face. “If it makes you feel any better, it took a lot less pleading to get through to you. I’m still working on my mom.” 
The joke is foul, one that should make you feel even worse than you already do, because what sixteen year old has to plead with their mother to remind her that he’s there, too? The joke is horrible, and it’s exactly what you need to find yourself laughing, and Jonathan joins. 
Codependency can be a bitch, but Jonathan understands you in ways that no one else can. 
“You think the cops are gone?” You ask, wiping away the remaining tears. 
Jonathan listens for any sign of them and shakes his head. “No, I think we’re all clear.”
He walks out the room first and you follow after him. Joyce is standing in the kitchen, staring at the counter with a far off look in her eyes. You and Jonathan look at each other and you motion for him to go talk to her. He nods, and then you motion to the living room to indicate that you’ll continue working on the missing posters. 
Carefully writing on the posters soothes you, in a way. It’s rhythmic, providing a sense of lull that you readily embrace. You faintly hear Jonathan talking with his mother, then you watch as he leads her to her bedroom and shuts the door. When he returns he sits next to you on the couch and begins to work on the posters as well. No words are needed. 
You work on the posters in silence for a few hours until it nears 3pm. Dustin will be getting out of school soon, and you have to be there for him when he’s home. While Will may be Jonathan’s brother, he’s also your brother’s best friend. You get up and head into the kitchen, long familiar now with its layout and usual contents within the fridge, and quickly prepare the ingredients for spaghetti. It’s a simple meal, but Jonathan and Joyce need to eat. Once it’s all laid out, you return to the living room and tap on your friend’s shoulder. 
“Hey, I have to head out now to check on Dustin, but I just put a pot of water on the stove along with some noodles on the counter. I also cut up some vegetables and put them in the fridge for the sauce. Start the meal whenever, I laid everything out for you.”
“Thank you, really,” Jonathan exhales, relief evident on his face. He hadn’t even thought about dinner, which you figured he wouldn’t. 
You bend down to kiss the top of his head. “Anytime, bee. I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
“Okay,” 
“Just…” you linger at the door, not fully wanting to leave him all by himself. “Be careful, please.” 
“Go, Y/N. I’ll be fine, I promise.” Jonathan reassures you.
“I’ll be fine, I promise!” Will’s voice is distant, now a few yards away, and you stand outside for a few more seconds to watch his figure disappear into the night.
It’s brief, but the flashback punches you in the gut. You close your eyes, holding onto the image of Will’s face in the moonlight last night, and when it fades you take a deep breath and force yourself to leave. 
The second you’re on your bike, pedaling away from the house, you let the sobs that have wracked against your throat all day out. It’s messy, the tears coming down your face faster than you can wipe them away. All the fear you’ve felt is now able to freely come out. It’s not the safest way to bike home, but you know that if you hold the tears in any longer you’ll collapse. You do your best to still be alert, but apparently you fail because a BMW honks at you to avoid you hitting it. 
“Fuck!” You yank your bike to the right, having no idea that you had been on the left side of the road, and topple over. The fall isn’t anything bad, but it definitely is your final straw for the day. You lay in the ditch you’ve landed in, staring at the November sky, and let the pain from your skinned knee serve as something to ground you to reality. 
“Holy shit, did I hit you?” 
Steve Harrington stands over you, a horrified look in his eyes. 
“Unfortunately not, otherwise I’d be able to sue you and get money out of it.” 
“Uh… okay?” He offers you his hand, although still very confused. “You didn’t like, happen to hit your head or anything, right?” 
You accept his help, albeit mostly because you have to, and brush yourself off when you’re up. “I’m fine. I just wasn’t paying attention, sorry.” 
Steve nods, as if you almost getting hit by his car makes perfect sense to him. When you walk over to your bike and inspect it for any damage, he follows after you. 
“So,” he whistles, trying to pretend that this is all a completely normal occurrence. “You, uh, need a ride?”
Honestly you don’t know why you’re surprised he hasn’t noticed the clear signs of you crying, your swollen eyes and red nose. Not only is he a boy, but he’s also Steve Harrington. It’s a miracle he even stopped to make sure you weren’t dead. 
“No,” you say, now repositioning your backpack so that you can get back on your bike. “Thanks anyways, Harrington.” 
Steve continues to follow you, even after you’ve started to pedal away. “You’re welcome, random girl I almost hit!”
You’re a bit further now, and you still feel like utter shit, but his words somehow make you laugh a bit. For a brief moment, you forget about everything, so you call behind, “It’s Henderson!” 
“That’s an odd first name!” The boy shouts after you, still following from a distance. 
“Y/N Henderson!” You’re fully yelling now, a good yard away, but you can tell that Steve hears you based on the way he begins to wave eagerly, finally stopping next to his car. Faintly you understand the boyish charm that makes him so loved by all the girls in the school; you understand why Nancy Wheeler has fallen for him.
“Bye, Y/N!” It’s faint, but you swear you can hear a smile in his voice.  
The good mood that Steve Harrington inexplicably puts you in vanishes when you near your house. Nothing has changed, yet it feels as if something has shifted. Will had been here only hours ago. You spot Dustin’s bike laying on the grass, haphazardly thrown as usual. 
Dustin is just taking off his coat when you enter, immediately running over to him to pull him into a bone crushing hug. 
“Y/N!” he squeaks in surprise. 
“Are you okay?” You know you’re squeezing your brother harder than you need to, but God. He’s safe, in your arms, and you’ve now learned that not everyone can say the same about their own loved ones. 
Dustin wiggles a bit, trying to break away from the hug, but you only pull him in tighter. “Geesh, no one died.” 
Normally you’d berate him, but you embrace his snarky comments. They’re what make Dustin so unique, his humor one of your favorite parts of him
When you don’t respond, Dustin stops wiggling around and finally accepts the situation. “I love ya too, sis.” 
You giggle a bit, now pulling away. “At least mom isn’t home right now. The minute she hears about what’s happened, we’ll be on lockdown.”
Dustin’s eyes widen. “Shit, you’re right.” 
“Lan-”
“Language, I know.”
You ruffle his hair, now feeling a bit better. Dustin is still Dustin, so maybe everything will be okay. You and your brother go into the kitchen for your post school snack, and you call your boss to inform her that you can’t make it to your shift. The words “family emergency” catch in your throat a bit, and Mrs. Waters is kind enough not to push it.
Dustin catches you up on his day, informing you about Hopper questioning him and the other boys. 
You scrunch your nose at that. “Is that even legal?”
“Unsure, but it was awesome.”
“Will went missing, Dustin. It isn’t ‘awesome’.”
Dustin tilts his head at you. “Well, I bet Will is going to have a blast hearing everything when we find him.” 
His words are so matter of fact, as if he already knows that Will will be found after all. His naivety worries you a bit, but you also can’t help but indulge in his hope as well. Then you think about what he’s just said. “Wait, who’s ‘we’?”
Your brother pretends he can't hear you, miming at his ears. “Dustin-”
“What?”
“Dustin, you and the boys can’t just-”
“I can’t hear you!” He’s running to his room now with you quick behind his heels. 
“Dustin, I swear to God-”
“I gotta do homework, Y/N, bye!” He slams the door in your face. 
You sigh. There’s no getting through to him, years of being Dustin’s older sister has taught you that, so you go into your room instead. You might as well get started on the assignments you missed today, and you have a huge chem test tomorrow, so you’ll focus on that and keep an ear out for Dustin. Whatever he’s planning with the boys, you won’t let them do it alone. 
After a couple hours of silence from Dustin’s room, you decide to call Jonathan. The line rings for a while with no answer, and eventually you give up. It makes sense that he’s not answering, he’s had a long day. You hope he’s asleep, but you know him better than that. He’s probably holed up in his room, trying to distract himself like you are right now. 
A loud thud from Dustin’s room breaks you from your thoughts. Then you hear a quiet “shhh!” that sounds suspiciously like Lucas, and you immediately throw on your shoes and a jacket and march outside. 
Dustin is halfway out of his window when you arrive, and Mike and Lucas stare at you, caught red handed. 
“Guys, I think she can hear us.” Your brother says, breaking the silence. Mike scoffs at him and Lucas groans. 
You eye the three of them, unamused. “Your best friend just went missing, what the hell are you guys doing out here so late and alone?”
Dustin awkwardly finishes his descent down, finally landing on his feet with a thud. He secures his hat back on his head and goes to grab his bike. You block his path. 
“I’m serious, one of you needs to start talking, now.” 
Lucas and Dustin look at Mike, who is their unofficial leader of the gang, and he huffs. “Look, Y/N, I like you-”
“How thrilling.” You say, voice monotone. 
The boy ignores you and continues to talk. “But Will is missing, and we aren’t just going to sit around and wait. He’s our friend, we have to do something.” 
You open your mouth to speak, but Lucas interrupts you. “You’re definitely our favorite sister in the group, so you’d be even cooler if you let us go.” 
Again, you try to respond, but this time Dustin beats you to it. “Yeah, you’re like, totally cool already. If you pretend that you never saw us, that’d be great.” 
“Guys-”
“And don’t give us a whole lecture about safety. That’s all bull.” Mike says. 
“Boys!” You scream. They all fall silent, not used to you ever raising your voice at them. You’ve only ever yelled at them once or twice, preferring to be the “cool” sister whenever you can, but right now they’re seriously pissing you off. 
“Let me speak.” When no one says anything, you continue. “I’m not going to stop you guys from looking for Will. In fact, I support it-”
“You do?”
You shoot Mike a death glare, which promptly shuts him up. “Yes, I do. However, I’m not letting you guys go alone.” 
The boys all groan at this, acting as if it’s the worst thing in the world to have you tag along with them. You ignore their complaining and head over to where your bike sits against the porch. You zip up your coat, the chill from the night making you shiver a bit. 
“No arguing, or I’ll call all your moms. Ours included, Dustin.”
“Why me?”
“Look, guys. I’m proud of you for stepping up, but I’m coming with. The last time I let one of you boys go off into the woods alone…” 
The boys shift uncomfortably now, realizing how heavy the guilt weighs upon you. After a few beats of silence, Mike finally gives in. 
“Fine,” he says, pointing a finger at you. “But the second you start to freak out, you’re gone.” 
You salute Mike, hopping on your bike as you all begin to bike away. The ride doesn’t take long, since you live just off of where Will was last seen. Thunder rumbles when you all approach the crime scene, and you shudder a bit. 
“It’s going to rain, guys.” You inform them. 
Dustin looks up at the sky with uncertainty. “I think maybe we should go back.”
Mike is quick to shut down the idea, urging the others to keep going. You admire his loyalty to Will, and you figure it’s why the two of you butt heads so often. Out of the entire group, you’re the most similar to him. 
Lucas and Mike go under the caution tape first, and Dustin hangs back. You place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “We can go back, you know.” 
He clenches his jaw, jutting his chin out a bit. “No, Will needs us.”
Your brother puffs out his chest and follows after his friends, leaving you to take up the rear. More thunder rumbles and the rain begins to come down. You flip your hood up, thankful you remembered to grab a hoodie when leaving. 
Mike guides the way with his flashlight, then Lucas, then Dustin, then you in the back. You make sure to keep your eyes on the three boys, scared that the second you look away they’ll be gone. The woods have always creeped you out, but you push your fear down to keep them safe. 
“Will!” Mike calls out, the rain now pouring down on you guys. 
“Byers!” 
“Will, little bee!” You call out as well. He never liked when you called him that in front of the others, but tonight was an exception. 
“I’ve got your X-Men 134!” Your brother bribes, unintentionally making you laugh a bit. If Will is nearby, he’ll surely come out to claim his prize. 
Your foot catches on a tree log, and you slip in the mud before just barely managing to catch yourself. It’s getting hard to see given how dark it is and the rain surrounding you. Dustin voices his concerns, only to be called a baby, and you bite your tongue. If you defend him, he’ll only look more like a baby to his friends. 
“I’m just being realistic!” He retaliates, which you commend him for. 
“Dustin’s right, guys. It’s getting really bad out here. We’re surrounded by a ton of trees, don’t they attract lightning?” You ask, now paranoid that you’ll be struck down any second. 
“You guys are being sissies.” Lucas taunts, annoyed as well. 
You try to argue, but Dustin voices a thought that’s been at the back of your mind. “Did you ever think Will went missing because he ran into something bad?”
You think back to how Hopper seemed worried when he investigated the Byers home. From what you can recall, he suspected that Will had been running away from something, explaining why he’d abandon his bike.
“And now we’re going to the exact same spot where he was last seen, and we have no weapons or anything?”
Maybe Dustin’s right. This definitely wasn’t your best idea, and you’re regretting letting them follow through with their plan. For someone who claims to want to keep their loved ones safe, you really suck at it. 
“Dustin, shut up.” Mike voices, though he now looks a bit concerned as well. 
“He’s right, Mike.” You speak up, stumbling a bit in more mud. Your shoes are definitely ruined, now. “I was at Jonathan’s when Hopper showed up, he thinks Will was running from something.” 
The boys go quiet now, and when you’re about to suggest going home, you hear rustling in the bushes. 
“Did you guys hear that?” Mike asks. 
Your heart stops as the rustling continues and you all start to twist and turn, looking for the source of the sound. The rustling gets louder, almost as if it’s getting closer, and you tighten your hand around your flashlight, ready to use it as a weapon just in case. 
Then, the light flashes upon a little girl, drenched in an oversized yellow shirt, shivering. Her head is shaved, but her small stature suggests to you that she is indeed a girl. You all stare at her, no one saying a thing. She stares back, a terrified look on her face that breaks your heart. 
“Holy shit,” you whisper. 
Her eyes land on you; something about her reminds you of Will, and  you know that nothing will be the same again.
-
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nxiispire · 1 year
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Hello hello!
Could I request a sub!kaeya, sub!diluc, sub!venti, and a sub!xiao (separately pls) with a gentle dom! reader who degrades them will in the verge of their release please? Have a good morning/day/evening/night!<3
|・ω・`)ノ a/n : super sorry for taking so long to do this request! also i’m vry excited someone asked for venti cause i haven’t written for him even though he is a fave of mine
✰ Don’t be mean .. !
[ Featuring ] -> Kaeya, Diluc, Venti and Xiao x Reader
cw : f1ngering, degradation, use of slut and wh0re, h*ndjobs, thigh job, after care, a tiny bit of fluff
Kaeya Alberich
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He whines
Pouts afterwards but both of you know that your degrading words only go straight to his c*ck
He’s a bit surprised to here such words come from you, a normally very gentle lover.
But he’s even more surprised at how much he enjoyed being called such dirty names.
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Kaeya doesn’t exactly know how he got here, bent over his office desk, drool staining unimportant documents, and your fingers inside him. But he couldn’t care less about what caused this turn of events, his only focus being the heat rising in his lower half.
Feeling him squeeze around your fingers, a sign that he was close, you lean down to press your chest flush against his back, your hot breath tickling his ear as you whispered.
“Squeezing me so tight yeah? such a slut, how’d you think master jean would feel if she knew her captain was such a whore?”
Letting out a high pitched whine while mumbling something about being your slut, he came all over the hard wood desk.
Let’s just say having to explain the missing documents was not apart of your regular after care routine.
Diluc Ragnvindr
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This man will straight up defend himself 😭😭
He would be like “i’ve been a good boy!” or “m’not a slut” while letting out the sluttiest moans
But despite the protest he quite enjoys the change in language
The poor man just needs some self preservation
“ n-no! v’been good, need to ah- need to cum~”
He begged as you teased him while on the verge of release. You could hear the wet sounds coming from your stroking his cock with vigour.
“hmm I don’t know, do you really deserve to cum?” You further egged him on, no real intention to deny his orgasm.
“yes yesyesyes-YESS” he answered for you, finally cumming all over you hand.
Despite cumming without your explicit permission, you still treated Diluc with tender love and care as he bathed in the aftmath of his orgasm.
“You were so good for me” you assured him he did in fact deserve every bit of your affection.
Venti
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For someone meant to be worshipped, he sure loves being talked down to
Though he loves your praise, it’s nothing he hasn’t heard already
So hearing you call him nasty names is  exciting, he wants nothing more than to be beneath you
Also there’s no way such a mischievous man doesn’t have a thing for degradation, he’s practically asking for it
He’s grabbing on to your hips insanely tight as he frantically thrust himself between your soft thighs. As he presses his face into your back you can feel the vibrations of all the moans he’s letting out.
His cock slides effortlessly between your thighs aided by a mixture of your spit, and a abnormal amount of pre-cum.
“ahh mhh yess i’m close~” you hear his muffled whines from behind you.
“your such dirty boy aren’t you? it’s almost pathetic, humping my thighs like this?”.
Though your words harsh, your tone remained soft and caring, which almost made it more patronising.
 Fueled on by your words he finally came, his cum mixing into the wet pool between your legs as he continues to thrust himself through his orgasm. <3
Xiao
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Unlike Diluc he accept anything you say
You called him a bad boy? he will make it up to you and beg for your forgiveness, You called him a slut? then he’s your whore
Why would he care about self preservation when you’re the only one he wants to please
It’s something about the control you assert when you degrade him that gets him going
The way he’s fucking up into your hand is mesmerising, his abs flexing as he desperately chases after his high
“Look how desperate you are, who knew that this mighty adepti was such a slut~”
“Aah yes, mm your slut~ shit- just f’you!” He babbled, getting closer and closer to his orgasm. You weren’t even moving your hand at this point, you simply kept it still as he bucked up into it, producing a lewd squelching noise.
He let out one last loud moan as he came, his cum landing on his chest and dribbling down your hand.
After riding his high the adeptus did something he hadn’t done in a very long time, falling straight to sleep.
Once you finished admiring his adorable fucked out form, you make sure to grab a warm towel to clean up, loving being able to take care of him without any of his protests.
the end _(:3 」∠)_
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cod-dump · 2 months
Text
Roach (teen!Ghost au)
Part 2 (part 1 here)
———
John knew Kate wouldn’t be coming alone but he wasn’t expecting another American agent. As far as he knew, Kate and her family were located here for ease of access, just to have someone from CIA within range. He didn't know there was more than one of her in country. Well, he assumed this man was CIA at first.
But after getting a good look at him, John quickly figured out the man wasn’t with Kate.
He was strangely familiar, John has seen him around somewhere but he couldn’t pinpoint where. John was hesitant to let him in but Kate gave him a look that told him to step aside. So he did. And the stranger walked in, scanning the room with a hard gaze before he spotted the child on the couch with Nik and softened.
“Hey, Gary,” the man said softly, walking over slowly before he kneeled on the floor near where the boy was sitting.
“Gary?”
“He’s been missing for a few days… We- The commander here found his parents. Well, his dad,” Kate said in a hushed voice.
Gary Sanderson, son of Captain Roger Sanderson. A mercenary who was working for a private organization. This organization had a front here, as a shelter. John felt himself tense, watching the man on the floor carefully. He was thankful he sent the kids off across the street to Johnny’s house to get them out of Kate’s way. He didn’t trust this man around them.
Gary seemed to know him, watching him as the talked to him softly.
“Gave us a scare, kid. And I know you’ve been scared, too.”
Nik kept a comforting hand on the boys shoulder. He seemed also uneasy around the mercenary that apparently had been living amongst them in their town unnoticed. Or maybe Nik had noticed and wasn’t too pleased to have someone like him in his home.
“I brought something for you,” the man said, sounding ever patient with the lack of responses from the child before him. He reached into his bag and pulled out a small stuffed toy, a bear of some kind. Gary’s eyes widened at the sight of it and reached out for it.
The kid changed instantly as soon as he had it in his arms. He started crying, curling up on the couch while holding the worn toy, shaking. The man reached out and touched his knee, the boy doing nothing to push him away. The man had a sadness in his features, seemingly understanding exactly what was happening. Nik was alarmed with the boy’s sudden dive into tears and tried to comfort him, but the boy leaned away.
Kate took John into the hall, turning to him with a stern face.
“Phillip Graves, the shelter owner. He has legal guardianship of the kid.”
John blinks, “He does?”
“Gary’s dad… it’s complicated but he made arrangements for Phillip to take Gary if anything happened to him.”
John’s heart went out to the little boy. He knew. He knew why Phillip was there, he clearly knew him before this.
“Poor kid… what happened to his father?”
“I don’t even know myself. What I do know that it’s purely Phillip’s business and he has enough money to wave any official off for even looking his way.”
John frowned, Kate continuing.
“Nik’s people, from what I know, so happened to run into the tail end of Phillip’s mess, at least the part he hasn’t managed to clean up. I was already getting word from my supervisor about him looking for Gary when you called.”
John looks over his shoulder to the threshold to the living room. Would have Phillip found his way here on his own? What would have he done once he knew Nik had taken Gary? That his people were on sight of the boy’s last known location? The possibilities had him on edge, his mind going to his children and partner.
“Everything is being handled, John. Phillip’s taking the kid back with him and you can go back to your three ring circus.”
“Right…”
In the end, Phillip left with Gary in his arms, the kid asleep and clinging to him. Nik watched them leave, stone faced and quiet. John watched the cars pull away before he turned to the man, nudging his shoulder with his own to get his attention.
“Kate wouldn’t have let him leave with the kid if she didn’t trust where he was going.”
Nik grunts, no verbal response otherwise. John sighs, knowing that he was probably attached to the child.
“He couldn’t have stayed, Nik. There’s enough going on here as is.”
No response.
“Besides, we’re out of bedrooms and I’m sure the boys or Farah weren’t eager to share.”
“Could’ve turned the office into another bedroom.”
John blinks before he laughs, “Excuse me? And where would I work?”
“The basement.”
John scoffs, “Wow-“
Nik cracks a small smile, but he was completely behind it. John expected that he would be finding a way to keep tabs on Gary. John was just hoping he wouldn’t be planning on doing anything stupid, or anything to piss off what appears to be a large operation that Kate has been very aware of and has been quiet about.
John wasn’t keen for a war, especially not in his kids’ town.
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sunlightmurdock · 4 months
Text
Like This Forever | 0.4 | Jake Seresin x Reader
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Synopsis: Chapter Four. Jake has questions. The answer grows more complicated by the minute. He has a lot of thoughts on your situation.
Warnings: talks of abortion / decision to get an abortion. We’re pro-choice over here. This is an accidental pregnancy fic. Lying. Bickering. Reader being very conflicted and Jake being oblivious. Friends to lovers. Country-Singer!Jake au.
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“So, who’s the father?”
“You don’t know him.” This feels like a strange place to be having this conversation. Your warped, horizontal view of Jake’s face doesn’t hinder the focus on his features, all scrunched with focus. This argument isn’t one that will be over quickly. Your best friend is like a dog with a bone when it comes to wanting more information out of you — you should have dropped this bombshell on him in a place with an easier escape route.
“I know everyone that you know, Sunny — who’s the father?” Jake presses, turning you onto your back without even touching you. Just his proximity as he leans closer and stares furiously at your face makes you shrink backward into the sheets. He’s crowding over you, awkwardly sticking you to the bed. He hasn’t exactly got you pinned down, but he’s in the way of you moving, and he knows it.
“It doesn’t matter.” You sigh, turning your head from him. His cologne fills your nostrils and confuses your senses. Strong scents are about as offensive as something can be to you these days but all you want at the same time is to bury your face into his neck.
The last time he was on top of you was at the Darkstar. The night all of this mess started. You wish you remembered more of it. The only thing you really remember, is how good he felt.
But your moment of remembrance is over the second that Jake opens his mouth again. Now that you’re both grown up, it’s easy to forget how much the two of you bickered as kids, and how Jake used to get under your skin back then.
“Why are you lying? — Is it Rooster? — Did you fuck Rooster?” Jake’s fingers are electric as he grabs hold of your forearm to keep you from retreating any further. Instantly, he’s that same little boy who knew exactly how to get under your skin, and you’re the same girl who knew how to make him cry for his mommy.
You’ve never torn away from his touch as quickly as you do now. Your face changes and both of your hands fly up from beside your sides, shoving hard at the faded graphic tee covering his chest before he has even had a chance to register the disgusted look on your face. He wasn’t pinning you down, or even touching you, or even bracing his own weight properly — he falls back easily.
He tumbles, the mattress and himself both making unanimous sounds of complaint. Already, he’s opening his mouth and getting ready to argue with you, his nose all wrinkled up and his eyes narrowed seriously.
“No, I didn’t fuck Rooster!” You’re over him in an instant, pointing one of those red, gelled nails in his face like he’s a dog who pissed on the carpet. Up until now, you didn’t realize that you were angry with Jake. Maybe you haven’t been all along, but you’re so angry now that it feels like you could have been burning mad at him since the two of you left the bar that morning.
He’s the one who didn’t wear a condom, he knows you’re not on birth control. But you’re the idiot who fucked him without one and didn’t even try to get a plan B. You know Jake by now, he’s exactly the same as he was when he was a teenager; couldn’t pull out of driveway let alone a pretty girl.
“I fucked a loser from back home. Thanks for the reminder.” Both of your hands come down hard and shove at his shoulders again, the worn mattress dipping under his weight while he stares up at you, still bewildered by how easily you just shoved him onto his back. The words would be more cutting if he knew you were talking about him.
Jake almost reaches for your arm again, but doesn’t. He bunches the faded blue, dated florals of the sheets into his fists and just watches you stand up. His decision to give you some space is quickly overturned; he still doesn’t have his answer.
“Tell me his name.” Jake follows you up and reaches you in one stride. He’s not going to let it go any time soon. This time, when his hand touches the small of your back, it’s more gentle. An apology, without really having to say it. “Please, Sunny. I just want to know that you’re going to be alright.”
Fuck. Your lie is catching up to you minutes in. Your heartbeat is thudding through your arms and legs and you just know that your little bundle of joy is going to have you puking again in no time.
“Ethan.” You then slowly to face him.
“Ethan Oaks? — The cop?” Jake gawks. You shake your head weakly. Jake knows you wouldn’t touch that bully with a ten foot pole. It’s got to be at least believable if you’re going to drag a third person into your web of lies, it’s got to be someone who you would have potentially still slept with. Jake’s eyes go wide and round, cat-like almost. “You fucked ET?”
No, you haven’t fucked Ethan Thorne — affectionately known as ET, both because of his name and because of his obsession with the extraterrestrial. But, you did give him a handjob in high school and Jake knows that. Jake saw it. You know Jake remembers how you had wrestled him to the ground in the hallway of that house party and sworn him to silence all those years ago.
You’ve known Ethan almost as long as you’ve known Jake. He’s a dirty blonde, exceptionally tall, bean-pole kind of skinny guy who always treated you like you were heaven sent.
“You fucked ET?” Jake’s voice only grows louder and more wild, his eyes narrowing in absolute disbelief. You take a step back, extending the distance between you and rubbing awkwardly at your temple. “When? — How? — Why?”
“I was bored.” You answer him weakly. You’ve slept with worse men for stupider reasons. There isn’t much to do back in Driftwood when Jake’s busy. “You were working. You know he’s always had a crush on me.”
“Plenty of guys have crushes on you! You fucked ET!” Jake rants, following you with each step back you take. He’s about to walk you right through the thin walls of this dusty motel. You lift your hand and poke a finger into his chest to keep him from following.
He stops.
Then, your hands push into your hair and the idea of throwing yourself on the ground and launching a full-blown, screaming, crying tantrum, is starting to look more appealing by the minute. You huff out a sigh, “Look, I don’t want to stand here and argue about all of the people we regret fucking, Jake. I don’t feel good.”
His eyes flicker downward, landing on your stomach like he’s expecting to see a difference. Like he’s expecting to be confronted with this thing that’s making you feel so awful, and screwing up all the fun you’re supposed to be having.
When he looks back up, you can tell he’s thinking the exact same thing he was before. You fucked Ethan Thorne. Really, his inner monologue focuses on the slightly deeper point of: you fucked Ethan Thorne, and you didn’t tell him about it.
Finally, he takes a step forwards and opens his arms, stretching them out towards you. You weakly shuffle closer. He wraps himself around you and closes his eyes. All too willingly, you fall into his olive-branch hug, resting your head against his chest and closing your eyes finally.
For a moment, it’s nice. Jake does exactly what you need him to. He just holds you. Your moment is done and gone far too quickly.
“You could tell everyone it’s mine.” He breathes out. Turning his face towards your neck, you feel his lips softly brush your skin. His fingers curl into the back of your t-shirt. He’s trying to imagine what you’ll look like in a few months from now, when there’s a big bump sitting between the two of you.
It doesn’t even require much thought; it’s one of the first things that crosses his mind. Everyone would believe it. Your mothers would be thrilled.
But just like that, you’re back to square one. You lied to get him out of the picture, and here he is, trying to claw himself back in. You close your eyes, pressing tighter into the fabric of his shirt and the smoky scent of his cologne.
“Jake—“
“I’m serious. I can take care of you, Sunny,” He sighs, arms flexing as he draws you closer again, leaving you with no choice but to turn your cheek against his chest. “My family love you. I love you. We could help you with him.
Him. God, he’s already picturing this. He’s making it real. How long could you really keep it to yourself? — Walking around Driftwood with a little boy, hoping that no one notices the way his smile is wide-stretching and dimpled, just like Mary-Lynn Seresin’s, or the way his wild laugh reminds them of the boys that used to tear through town all together.
“Jake.” You shove at him, all of your anger pooling together in the centre of your chest and stinging like your heart is on fire. It’s all got to go somewhere, and this time it rushes to your head. Your eyes burn, filling with too many tears to even attempt to hold back. “Stop it. I said it’s not yours.”
“But—“
“Drop it.” You spit back at him, your face burning with a sudden flush of accelerating anger. Your temper has sparked and Jake recognises the look in your eyes. Twenty years ago, that look was a clear warning that you were about to start screaming and pulling his hair. “I don’t need anything from you.”
“You’re so full of shit— you know I didn’t mean it like that,” With the two of you being so close, Jake has never come across anything he would be afraid of saying to you. He’s definitely not afraid of telling you when you’re pissing him off. “It’s not about money. You want to get stuck raising a kid with ET? — You don’t even like him.”
“I’m not raising anything with anybody!” You bite back, narrowing your eyes at him. He stares back at you. “This fucking thing has already ruined my life for like a week straight. I’m getting rid of it the first chance I get. Now drop it!”
There’s a quiet, a clarity to your face that has never been worth arguing with. Jake would never argue with you over this anyway. He wouldn’t tell you, but he’s glad. He hasn’t ever really thought about you having a family of your own; about the chair next to his at Thanksgiving suddenly being empty.
Still, your business is his business as far as he has always been concerned. With a softer expression than before, he lowers his head and makes an attempt at meeting your gaze. “Are you even going to call him? — You don’t think he deserves to at least know?”
“No, I don’t, Jake.” You answer back. “This is like getting a UTI. I’m going to see a doctor, I’m going to get it taken care of — and the sperm donor doesn’t ever need to know what he did.”
“Right.” Jake says quietly, thinking it over in his head. There’s a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he just can’t shake. He always wears a condom, always. But still, if there was a girl out there, who thought he didn’t need to know…
He shakes his head and reaches for you one last time. His fingers wrap around your forearm and give a soft, reconciliary squeeze. “Yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
This time, you don’t wait for him to hug you. You throw yourself into his arms and with one hand on my the back of your neck and the other spreading around your waist, he drags you to him, gathering you against his chest.
His thick arms wrap around you as you sprawl into him, head tucked under his chin, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when Jake got so big. You still remember the days before he outgrew you. You don’t remember his hugs feeling different.
As he holds you, you focus onto the deep breaths he takes. His lungs filling and emptying, pushing and pulling you against him like the drag of the tide. His fingers stretch across your nape, brushing at the edges of your hairline.
“You know I just worry about you.” Jake mumbles, turning his face towards your hair. Eyes closed, he revels in the familiar smell of your shampoo. As far from home as he already is, this smell makes him feel like he’s right there again. Inhaling the scent of vanilla, you’re under his comforter and the two of you are sleeping into the late hours of the morning, waiting until his Mom calls you down for something to eat.
His fingers squeeze into your skin. He loves those mornings.
This doesn’t make you feel so sick anymore, now that you don’t have to look him in the eye. It’s easy enough to pretend that none of this is happening, and that this won’t change anything. You prod the tip of your index finger into his stomach, trying to lift the mood, “That’s not your job. I’m supposed to worry about you, remember?”
You promised his mom, right before you left, that you’d take good care of her boy. She had smiled knowingly, and shot you a quick wink, knowing that you have always been two strides ahead of Jake in all of the trouble that the two of you have gotten into over the years. Not this time. You won’t drag him into this.
“Yeah, yeah, you’ll get your turn.” He scoffs into your temple, squeezing his arms tighter and hearing you moan in complaint against his shoulder. Quickly, it crosses his mind that he should be more gentle with you in your condition. Then, he wonders if that would upset you too. You wrap your arms around your waist and sigh. He stays as he is.
Maybe it’s not the right thing to ask. He hasn’t ever thought about how he should speak to a pregnant woman, or what they might want to do. But he knows you. He knows that if he lets you, you’ll sit here all night, staring at these four walls and driving yourself crazy.
“Mickey wants to drive down to that bar in town, shoot some pool. You feelin’ up to comin’ with us?” He asks softly.
And an hour later, you’re a couple miles down that long, empty stretch of road, perched on a stool and wincing as Bob almost pockets the white ball once again. This would be the third time. Luckily, Jake sticks his hand out and catches the ball before it dips into the hole.
“Alright, Floyd — that’s it, you’re done.” Dropping the ball back onto the table, Jake twists his cap backwards and sticks his hand out for the cue, shaking his head in disappointment.
Natasha is laughing as she pats Bob on the back, Bob is watching the ground with the cutest little schoolboy blush spread across his cheeks. Rueben is in the bathroom, Javy’s thrilled that he now has Jake as a game partner instead of Bob, Mickey’s intermittently watching the baseball game on the screen to his left. Rooster’s leaning over the bar, telling the pretty little bartender everything she’s ever wanted to hear a man with pretty brown eyes like his say.
None of them are looking at you.
Even if you’re sipping on root beer, it’s nice to feel this normal again. Even if you’re tired, and sluggish, and not entirely sure that you’re not that far from vomiting. The smell of overfilled drip trays and cheap cologne, and the ensemble of background noise makes it all that little bit better.
“Watch and learn, Bobby Boy.” Jake swaggers, showing off just the one-dimple with his crooked smirk as he leans over, lines up and shoots. The white ball crashes into a numbered blue one, sending that one uniformly into the pocket. With that, Jake stands up straight again, turns and shoots Bob a quick wink.
To most, this is arrogance. From an outside perspective, Jake sometimes comes across as provocative — and he can be. He doesn’t shy away from looking someone in their eyes. He’s confident, and straight to the point. That has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way over the years, including the people on this tour. Every single person here has threatened Jake at least once. Sometimes he just needs to be put in his place.
However, there’s a look on Bob’s face as Jake lines up to take his next shot that Jake would be thrilled to see, if he was watching. Bob’s standing now with one elbow leaned against a high table, his lips are twisted into an almost awkward frown. He doesn’t have it in him to glare with those big, baby-blue eyes, but if he did he would be.
When Bob steps up to the table to take his next turn, he’ll know that Jake will be waiting to poke fun and swoop in again. He won’t miss the shot. That’s what Jake wants.
You wish he would go about it differently, but you know that growing up with a father like Bill Seresin teaches a person a lesson or two about tough love. There are worse things than to want the people around you to succeed, you suppose.
“Thinkin’ hard?” Rueben is back from the bathroom, and draping one of his heavy arms around your shoulders. He’s even bigger than Rooster, broad and a classic kind of handsome. You’ve been tempted once or twice to ask him to work security, but you just wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if that pretty face got all messed up.
“Hardly thinkin’.” You answer back, smiling as you bring the root beer to your lips. He doesn’t know that you’re pregnant. None of them know that it’s Jake’s. You prefer it that way. Soon enough, this will be something you look back on, shudder, and try to forget.
Rueben hums an amused sound from behind you, turning his head. You keep looking forward at the pool table even though you can feel him studying your face, trying to figure you out.
Looking at the big guy, you wouldn’t have guessed that he basically ran Driftwood’s community theatre through his teens. He looks like he should have been the quarterback. Instead, he was the lead in Shakespeare’s greatest hits for six years running. That was before he became a roadie — after that big break-up a couple years ago.
It’s easier for him this way. Flying under the radar suits him. Though, you’ve never seen someone perfect Othello quite as well as Rueben.
“You’re doin’ alright, though, right?” He asks.
“Peachy.” Finally, you grace him with your gaze. He smiles, not believing you in the slightest. He gives your shoulder a squeeze, glances down at the soft drink in your hand, and untangles himself from you.
“Just checking.”
“Sunny,” Jake calls to you. He offers the cue towards you, then nods his head towards the scrabble of balls on the table. “You’re up, buttercup.”
There’s a coolness to you know that Jake hasn’t seen in days. Two steps and you’ve reached him, taken the cue and turned to survey the table. Jake picks up his beer and settles comfortably against the wall behind him. He gulps down a third of the drink at once, watching the way you bend at the waist and line up your shot.
When you stand up again, after sinking the exact ball you had aimed for, you turn around to find that Jake isn’t smiling. He isn’t taunting you, he’s not happy for you, he’s just staring at you with that same look on his face as earlier.
He’s thinking about Ethan Thorne, who’s probably still sitting in his room playing that geeky game about elves right now. Thinking of Ethan’s clammy hands on you. Thinking about the look on your face when you had been talking to Rueben just then.
Finally, he finds it in himself to offer you a hint of a smile. Then, he lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a big gulp.
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Maybe you could blame the fetus. You’ve been blaming it for a lot recently. Whatever it is, you don’t realise that Jake is even gone until the group of you are pouring out of that back roads bar at two in the morning. There’s a grin on your face, and a warm flush to your cheeks, and even as the only one sober, you’ve had a blast.
“Where’d Jake go?”
“Rooster’s peeling him off the floor in the men’s room.” Bob tells you, his boots kicking through the gravel as he buckles his belt back up with uncoordinated fingers, swaying slightly side to side.
“The — huh? — I just saw him.” You frown, slowing down and turning to check.
Sure enough, Rooster’s holding Jake under his arms and the two of them look like they’re trying to perform a risky cheerleading manouver. Jake’s fighting back. Every step that Rooster takes, the two of them are almost tripping on each other, and with the way Jake’s shoving at his shoulders and face, the poor guy can barely see.
Still, Rooster manages to wrestle him into the car. Past that, the big oaf is all your responsibility.
You wince, barely through the door of the motel when Jake wobbles forward and tumbles.
“Woah — oh, fuck.” Jake huffs out. His cheek smushes into the sheet under him and briefly, you think about just leaving him there, laying sideways along that uncomfortable motel bed. Then, he calls for you. First, quietly, just a breath into the room.
After, he calls you once again, more urgently this time.
“Quit yelling, I’m here.” You remind him, pressing you knee unsteadily into the mattress and smoothing your palm along the length of his back. “Kick your boots off.”
With a small exhale, Jake’s brows draw together in focus as he follows your instruction. His boots land haphazardly into the dated carpet, his hands dig under himself to find his belt buckle. The process of undressing him is a shared task, but he winds up with his head on the pillow and most of his clothes on the floor by the end of it.
“C’mere.” He doesn’t open his eyes or even gesture for you, he just speaks his request into the ether and hopes that you’re feeling kind enough to grant his wish.
“We’ve got a long couple days ahead, I don’t want to be up all night with you twitching next to me.” You frown at him. His mouth twitches and he gives a sincere shake of his head.
“I won’t. C’mere, Sunny girl. Please.” He hums out, lifting one arm finally. His hair is fluffy and messed from being tucked under that ages old baseball cap. The slow stretch into summer hasn’t yet started to darken his freckles, which means pink still sits as the most prominent colour across his flushed cheeks, and blonde stubble is settling across his jaw.
“You’re such a baby, you know that?” You scoff. Doesn’t matter that you’re mocking him; he’s smiling. He hears your jeans rattle to the floor and knows your shirt will follow, but his arms reach for you from the second that the bed dips with your weight anyway.
Stretching around your waist, tucking around your middle, he confirms that you’re sleeping in his t-shirt and buries his nose into the curve of your neck.
Baby. The word fills his intoxicated mind, and his hands follow. His open palms stretch, warm, across your stomach. You stare at the far wall, studying a disturbed patch in the paint. A quick fix job. The air conditioning whirs. You swear you can hear Jake’s ever-steady heartbeat outloud.
Why isn’t his heart thudding the way yours is?
“You’d make a good mom one day.” Jake says quietly. His thumb trails from your bellybutton down to the waistband of your cotton underwear. There’s no intent there, he’s just touching you, and it’s okay, because it’s Jake.
Your hand finds his, fingers linking together and resting there against skin that’s still entirely yours. Not stretched to accommodate someone new. Exactly the way you want it to be still. You squeeze his hand, “Go to sleep, Jake.”
“I think you should tell ET.” He adds, his voice growing gruffer as sleep comes from him. If you answer, it’ll just keep him up. “I’d… wanna know. If it was mine.”
Five seconds pass, and that becomes ten. You’ve counted to sixty before Jake’s hand relaxes in yours and his weight presses heavier into your back. He’s not really holding you, he’s just got himself all tangled around you. It’s easy enough to turn around in his arms, press your face into the warmth of his bare chest, and finally breathe.
“Night, Jake.” You whisper softly, lips grazing his skin.
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At 10am the next morning, Jake’s still in that exact spot, sleeping off his hangover ahead of tonight’s show. You’re a couple of miles west, laying on a cold bench in a doctor’s office. Mickey Garcia is sitting in the waiting room, especially hungover. They told you that you would need someone to drive you home.
Mickey glances towards the clock on the wall and realizes that it’s broken. There’s also a dead fly wedged under the hour hand. Exhaling, he leans his head back and closes his eyes. If this hurries up, he might be able to make McDonald’s breakfast — he’s rarely up in time for that.
He hasn’t been waiting long, he doesn’t know how long exactly abortions take, but when you kick his ankle and startle him to attention, he figures that it can’t have been long enough.
Standing there in front of him, Mickey realizes he has never seen you crying before today. It’s unnerving.
“You… want me to call Jake…?”
“Why the fuck would you call Jake?” You bark back at him. The other three women in the waiting room all look up at you towering over his poor curly-haired kid, in hysterics yourself.
“… Because he’s your best friend?” Mickey frowns at you, wide-eyed. He has seen you sprinting away from an angry bull before but you’ve never looked this level of crazy. That receptionist to his left probably has a panic button under her desk. Subliminally, Mickey urges her to press it. “Did you… do it?”
“No.” Your voice cracks and Mickey’s eyes grow wider.
He wants to know. He should have just kept his mouth shut, and this would all be fixed by now, but he told you that he would want to know. Laying back against that chair and begrudgingly glancing over at that screen, seeing the garbled mass of grey on the ultrasound— all you could think of was Jake wanting to know.
The decision is yours, and it will be. But he just wants to know. You slept last night with your head on his chest, but woke up this morning all turned around with his palm securely on your stomach once again.
He would never have lied to you. Not about something this big. You shouldn’t have lied to him. Especially not if you were never going to keep it.
“So… are you going back in?” Mickey interrupts your train of thought.
“No.” You answer him weakly. You’ll try again another time. Once you figure out how to tell Jake that you wouldn’t let Ethan Thorne touch you with a ten foot pole — and that you’ve been so busy with his damn tour, he’s the only guy you’ve actually had sex with in months.
It’s yours. I’m not keeping it. Six words — can’t be that complicated to just spit out. Tonight’s Colorado show is sold out. Afterwards, Jake is going to be on an all-time high. All you need to do is get him alone, and explain what this kid would do to his career, explain why you lied. He’d get it.
Just a couple more days like this, and then your life goes back to normal.
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thebadboyfanclub · 1 year
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You Bled For Them, You Decide Pt.2 (Daemon x Reader)
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So a lot of people requested a part two of this and had some requests on what should it be about, the stakes were high so I hope I did not disappoint you. Enjoy!
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Part one
(Y/n) was not a fool, she was sure that the second she steps foot in Targaryen ground all eyes would be on her, the mystery woman that managed to tame the rogue prince. She despised that nickname, (y/n)s opinion was that her dear husband had simply leaned towards violence to make up for the pain he had felt, Daemon was a passionate man which meant he loved as deeply as he hated, she knew Daemon would burn the seven kingdoms to ensure that their family is safe, he was a man of honour.
“Do you truly believe a character like prince Daemon has settled?”
“It certainly looks like it, he hasn’t stepped away from her and the children for longer than a minute”
“The children… well at least with this union no one can question their true parentage”
Otto whispered the last part only for his daughter queen Alicent to hear. Everyone was at awe how none of the kids had inherited their mothers features except small details,(y/n) adored the fact that they looked like the father, she was unaware what a big role on their safety that played.
“I believe we must introduce ourselves, would be interesting”
Alicent suggested while her father hummed in agreement, in almost complete unison they began to walk towards the couple that was pre occupied with the king.
“Alicent and Otto, to what do we owe the pleasure?”
Daemon questioned ironically, (y/n)s eyebrow was raised in confusion as she looked up at him for clues about the sudden change on his demeanour.
“Prince Daemon, it’s been so long since we last saw you, you were newly widowed at the time”
“Widowed?”
(Y/n) never pressured Daemon to speak of his past, he revealed what he wished while he laid on her chest and let her to brush his silver hair with her fingers. Daemons eyes squinted at the smart remark Lord Otto had thrown at him, he was looking for a way to cause a problems in his marriage.
“Your lady wife seems oblivious to the fact that you were wed prior”
Alicent noticed, (y/n) tried to keep her composure and patiently wait until they are alone to question her husband. Daemon was ready for war, they were pushing the boundaries in order to get what they want, to destroy what he worked so hard for and he wasn’t going to stand for it.
“I was forced into a marriage for alliance that is correct, (y/n) is my first true match, I thank the Gods for sending her to me every morrow”
Daemon was being genuine, his lady wife had been a miracle, the Gods took pity on him and showed him what it is like to have a reason to come back from battle alive. Daemon took his (y/n)s hand in his to place a kiss on her knuckles, (y/n) smiled even though her mind had stored the new information for another time, it wouldn’t be wise to pick a fight while attending a funeral.
“Such tender words, I am glad you have left your infatuation with princess Rhaenyra behind you”
The sentence that was spoken from the Queens lips made (y/n)s blood ran cold, the woman that she had just been introduced to had an affair with Daemon? It could not be, she was a married woman, the daughter of his own brother, “no that wouldn’t stop him, he is a Targaryen” she thought as her hands started to shake from anger. Thankfully her eldest daughter cut the conversation short before push came to shove and (y/n) showed her temper, the girl was panting while her cheeks were severely blushed from running around, she hadn’t been this blissful in weeks.
“Mother, can me and Aemond go play in the shore?”
“Aemond?!”
Daemon exclaimed, earning a side eye from everyone, if he had it his way his children would never play along side Alicents children, maybe little Heleana would be an exception but that would be it, especially when it came to his precious daughters he hated when they would be boys around them, even worst if they were hightowers.
(Y/n) did not spare a look at her lord husband, she simply tucked away a few strands of hair that seemed to stick on the young girls sweaty forehead and smiled lovingly, Alyssa was in much need of a companion, she loved her siblings but she would always have to take care of them.
“Of course my little deer, better yet I’ll come with you. I would love to meet your new friend Aemond”
-
(Y/n) had managed to discreetly slip away from everyone, she found joy at watching her daughter play carelessly with her new friend, the timid Aemond that barely raised his gaze to (y/n) when introduced, still he ran with Alyssa around the shore as they had both taken their shoes off and splashed in the water.
(y/n) could stay like this together, away from everyone with her family while they enjoyed the simple things life had to offer, it’s what her and Daemon had in common, although she could identify that Daemon had missed his brother, perhaps he missed princess Rhaenyra as well.
“Come along sweetlings, it’s getting dark”
“Mother please just a few more minutes”
“Fine, I will make sure your siblings are sleeping and then I will come back to escort you”
“Thank you lady (y/n)”
Aemond replied with the utmost respect. (Y/n) simply smiled as she turned her back on the children, with the assistance of a kind knight she was guided to the room (y/n), Daemon and little Johanna would occupy for the night, she had already peeked inside the other rooms for her children to find the sleeping peacefully.
To her misfortune she never had great memory when it came to directions, getting lost by turning left instead of right or was it right instead of left? She cursed under her breath for not looking around for clues when she had the chance.
“I need you uncle, I cannot fight them alone”
“You know I would support you if war occurred Rhaenyra”
The voices that reached her ears made her come to a halt, her back found the cold wall to rest so she can listen to her husbands conversation with the princess, she had put on such a brave fight to forget what was said about their affair before (y/n) came to his life, excusing it as a spur of a moment and feelings long forgotten, now there she was hiding in the dark to catch them whispering.
“I do not need you as a soldier Daemon, i want us to bind our blood”
“Rhaenyra”
“Do you love her?”
Tears welled up in (y/n)s eyes, this could not be. He brought to his homeland just to embarrass her? To parade his children and leave (y/n) in the dust? Did she marry such a cruel man? She felt like her heart was going to come out her throat at the sound of those words.
“More than life itself”
“So my love for you meant nothing?”
“You were a child Rhaenyra, we both made mistakes”
“You did not love me?”
“Of course I did”
“My love?”
(Y/n) came out of her hiding spot, she wasn’t going to let the princess sway her husbands words, Daemon had declared his love and the princess did not want to give up, she was toying with (y/n)s wedlock like the life of her and her children including the pain this will cause meant nothing.
Daemon focused on his wife, smiling at the sight of her, Rhaenyra turned to face her as well, Daemon could see that (y/n) heard everything, he identified the fire of fury in her eyes, she appeared with reason.
“Where are the children my dear?”
“Alyssa is playing with Aemond, I will go to collect them now but I have seem to get lost within the castle”
“I shall escort you then, excuse me princess Rhaenyra”
Daemon took (y/n)s hand in his as they left Rhaenyra in shambles, he left her for (y/n), his morals did not buckle at the slightest, not even for Rhaenyra.
As they turned the corner (y/n) took off her polite mask, her hand gripped on to his as she held him back from walking even further, Daemon felt his heart skip a beat at the fact that (y/n) was clearly upset. He did not prepare her correctly for this visit, he should have known that the greens would try to tear them apart.
“A wife? An affair? With your own niece at that”
“All before I met you my love”
“That’s not my point, I looked like a fool in front of everyone. Here I am, your wife that did knew nothing of these acts of yours, we are a union and we appeared weak against the hawks eye”
Daemon had guessed she would be frustrated about the acts, he couldn’t be more wrong. (Y/n) had heard of tales about her husband, his thirst over women, she only cared about how she appeared like their union was fickle, that they were secrets between them.
Daemon let out a breath before he took (y/n) for a hug, she did not respond immediately but gave in to wrapping her arms around him after a moment.
“I apologise my love, I will fix it”
“You better or you will have to start looking for a third wife”
Haste heavy steps pulled them apart from one another, curiosity taking over them as they waited for the person to appear. A knight stood before them, clearly stressed, (y/n)s heart clenched tight.
“The kids”
“Your children are alright however you must follow me”
The couple ran to wherever the knight guided them, (y/n) was the first to burst in the room, Alyssa stood next to her friend Aemond who was getting stitched up in the eye. (Y/n) skipped over to her and instantly started looking for wounds, Daemon took in the room as everyone gathered, Baela and Rhaena crying in their grandmothers arms and Lucerys had a nose bleed as he was also crying.
“I am unharmed mother”
“What happened? I told you to be careful with Aemond”
“It wasn’t my fault, Aemond claimed a dragon so we went for a flight when we got ambushed by the others that claimed Vhagar was meant for Rhaena and I… mother I swear I tried to defend Aemond, it was four against two”
“It’s alright my dear, you did your best”
Alyssa spoke honestly, Jacaerys had restrained her when the others attacked Aemond, everything happened so fast she did not have time to process what to do, she did everything she could to defend Aemond, now he had lost his eye.
(Y/n) hugged her daughter tightly, thanking the Gods for sparing her daughter from harm. Everyone was occupied with blaming one another to notice (y/n) wince from pain, her labour had started, she had been through this multiple times she had knowledge of the pains starting early, it was not the time to focus on that as of yet.
“It was my sons that were attacked and forced to defend themselves, vile accusations were spoke from prince Aemond”
“No he did not”
“Alyssa”
“No mother they attacked him”
“He held a rock”
“After you started beating him and then you took a knife out you meant to kill him”
Alyssa was furious, she had seen everything and was appalled by such hostile behaviour especially within family members. Alyssa had grown into an environment that love and respect was shown to everyone, to be met with such hatred was a new found grown for the young girl, Daemon smirked at her daughter fighting against princess Rhaenyra and cutting her off before she could finish, Alyssa had a backbone stronger than any child her age.
“My king this is the highest of treachery and since the girl wants to take prince Aemonds side I ask both of them to be questioned for their treason”
“my child nor any will be questioned like they are criminals, I would have hoped for a woman of such high rank to have some respect for a child that has been permanently scarred from your own kin”
“Are you accusing me of something lady (y/n)?”
“I am defending what’s right which is what my daughter did as well, you are protecting your own and so will I”
“Enough!”
The king intervened. Daemon tried to bring (y/n) back from her anger by placing a hand on her shoulder, truly he did not want to do it still he worried over how heavily pregnant wife, she should not feel any type of uneasiness at such delicate state.
He was certain (y/n) could stand her ground and defend their family better than anyone, a side of him relished it when (y/n) pushed back at others and protected their children, her fire and quick tongue was his favourite things about her.
“Lady (y/n) is right, princess Alyssa has done nothing wrong”
“She stood against the heir”
“She defended her friend, titles don’t mean shit to our family pri- ow”
She could not hold back any longer, she felt liquid ran against her leg as the pain similar to knife cutting her belly made her lose her cool. Daemon was quick on his feet as (y/n) put her hands on her knees to hold herself up against the pain, daemon wrapped his hands around his wife to help her up, worry written all over his face.
“What is it my love?”
“My labours started”
“Maester-“
“No maesters, take me to my room now”
She interrupted the queen, everyone stood still not knowing what to do next. Alyssa stood next to her mother so she can rub her belly to soothe the pain, she had been present at the birth of her siblings for as long as she remembered, it was almost muscle memory now.
“Lady (y/n) I promise you i am very experienced with delivering babes for the royal-”
“Oh Fuck off will you? I said no fucking maesters, Daemon please hurry or I will push this babe out for your entire family to see”
“As you wish my love”
In one swift motion Daemon swooped (y/n) from her feet to rush her to the privacy of their own room, Alyssa followed quickly with queen Alicent, the Maester and princess Rhaenyra hot on their trail, as they were all amazed by (y/n)s resilience they wanted to witness the woman giving birth on her own, as (y/n) breathed heavy she leaned her head on her husbands shoulder.
“This is going to be a quick one”
(Y/n) could time her pains growing stronger at such short period of time, her babe was rushing to come out to the point (y/n) did not think she would make it to her room.
Fortunately she was wrong, as Daemon kicked the door open to quickly lay (y/n) in the bed Alyssa sat behind her mother to help her sit up while the mothers back laid against her daughters chest. Alyssa admired her mothers strength more than anything, she viewed (y/n) as the strongest person alive and loved that she was allowed to be included to the birth of her siblings, secretly scheming to follow the tradition of a private birth.
“Everyone out”
“The maester should stay in case of any assistance-“
“Daemon I can feel the head”
(Y/n) screamed from the pain, roaring her babe out that did not wait for anyone or anything. The family quickly forgot the presence of outsiders as they supported (y/n) for her birth, (y/n) held her daughter with one hand as Daemon lifted his wives dress to help her with any way he can.
“Almost there (y/n), give it one strong push and you will hold our babe in your arms”
He encouraged her while Alyssa stroked her mothers hair with her free hand. The trio that stood a few meters away were like statues, the queen was deeply moved by the love that lingered in the room and Alicent clenched the charm of the seven that hang from her neck, her children’s birth so strongly connected with the people in the room, the family had a bond that was rare in this world.
Soon enough cries of the babe echoed in the room as everyone in unison let out a breath of relief, (y/n)s lips curved to a triumph smiled as she saw her babe for the first time, Alyssa kissed her mothers forehead as encouragement for a job well done, amazed at the view of another sibling brought to life.
“Praise the mother”
Alicent spoke as she was the first to approach (y/n) who stretched her arms to hold the baby, tears appeared on everyone’s cheeks except the maesters and the only thing you could hear was the cries of a newborn babe, what a magical sound that was to a mothers ears.
“A princess is born to driftmark, Maester let everyone know (y/n) delivered her babe”
Rhaenyra instructed, she internally admitted defeat since there was nothing she could do anymore, watching Daemon so involved in the birth and cry tears of joy as he held the bloody babe in his arms was enough proof of there romance having no chance of reconciliation. Daemon sat next to (y/n)s bed as he observed his wife holding their babe in her arms and their eldest holding her mother in her arms with her eyes full of love.
“Well done my moon, what a gift you blessed me with, another beautiful and heathy daughter”
“Welcome to our family Maegora”
(Y/n) whispered as she held her baby, Alyssa gasped at the choice of the name, Alyssa had suggested it a while back and her father had laughed at the choice and the fear it would install to everyone’s hearts.
Daemon was actually fond of the name, still he had a habit of teasing his children so he just leaned to kiss (y/n)s lips, she was so beautiful after she delivered their children, a glow unlike any other as the light of candles was the only source of light, his devotion to her was as deep as any religious person, his heart only beat because hers did.
“You are radiating my love”
Requests are open!
@slutmeoutsworld @ayamenimthiriel @the-phantom-of-arda @babystudentroadthing @pearlstiare @bxdbxtxh15 @lazypinkpig
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ironunderstands · 5 days
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Here’s my comparison of Acheron, Aventurine and Ratio that I made in 2.1 which I forgot to upload here lol, I would like you to know my thoughts then because OH BOY HAS THIS AGED WELL
Aventurine, Acheron, Ratio and what the Nihility means to them
(Inspired by a convo I had with @aoxizu on Tumblr!)
The ending scene of the 2.1 update (the one featuring the black hole) is perhaps one of my favorite in all of fiction. I genuinely adore the way it was done and what it says about both the characters and life itself. This game has THEMES and by god did they come through then. So, I want to go over why I love it so much, and why it’s such a vital moment for Acheron, Aventurine and Ratios characters.
First, some context. Prior to Aventurine’s and Acheron’s conversation, Aventurine was taking the riskiest gamble of his life. Prior to the confrontation between him, Acheron and the Astral Express, Aventurine set up a plan to try and get to the secret at the heart of Penacony, as well as provide a ruse for Topaz and Jade to do, well whatever they planned on doing, the ending scene says they came there to “harvest”, so in 2.2 I assume we will find out what exactly that entails.
In order for this plan to work, Aventurine needed his cornerstone and to trick Sunday, so pre-2.0 he went to Dr. Ratio to include him in this plan, and set up a fake betrayal to fool Sunday and allow him to keep the Aventurine stone, with the Jade and Topaz stones also being acquired pre-Penacony. We know this because of Aventurine’s conversation with Topaz post 1.4 Belabog mission in which he requests her help in Penacony, something which we didn’t get confirmation on whether or not she accepted until 2.1, in which it’s revealed that one of the Cornerstones in the box is Topaz, meaning when they got confiscated in 2.0 she had already accepted his offer (we can assume a similar situation for Jade). 
Essentially, everything had been going according to plan for IPC (even if Aventurine was absolutely not having a fun time during it), Ratio even says as much, stating that the IPC is pleased to hear of his death sentence, so that part of the confrontation was already predetermined. This leaves Aventurine with one final gamble, hoping the Astral Express and Acheron take the bait, and that they will try and stop him from destroying the entire dreamscape, which if Acheron acts on it, he could entire the true dreamscape to find the truth, as only an emanator could break through the power of the harmony. 
Luckily for Aventurine, the gamble pays off and Aventurine does indeed draw her blade, both stopping him and sending them both into another plane entirely, it’s there in which one if my favorite scenes in fiction ever occurs. 
You see, even if Aventurine planned this all from the start, he hasn’t exactly been having a fun time while doing it. Being sentenced to death and then slowly hallucinating on Harmony sh1t until the manifestations of your past self and your present doubt and insecurities come to haunt you isn’t exactly fun for anyone, especially Aventurine. 1) Because his backstory is horrifically tragic and being faced with a reminder that you will never feel secure or valued or truly happy would be enough to erode away the psyche of anyone 2) A version of himself which claims to be his future, but is more like a personification of how much Aventurine doubts and hates himself. It’s even more telling that this isn’t the first time he has talked to this version of him, in fact it saved his life several times, meaning one of Aventurine’s driving motivations is his own self loathing. 
A trait that on the surface you don’t think he would have, Aventurine plays the role of the confident, unflappable gambler who always wins, when in reality his other hand is under the table, clutching his chips for dear life (something I quite literally paraphrased from the game). 
Therefore, going into this conversation, Aventurine is more relieved than anything, yet another one of his gambles paid off, but now he will have to see how to go from there, and that’s when Acheron’s advice comes in. She’s not stupid, and immediately recognizes that he won (or at least got what she wanted), and that killing him is meaningless, it’s not his time yet. However, what Aventurine is really focused on is the fact that out of all the emanators he could have come across, the one he faces now is an emanator of nihility.
And well, in the face of overwhelming nihility, one’s own value comes into question yet again, and that’s something Aventurine doesn’t even need the aeon for to ask. So, he talks to Acheron, as IX isn’t exactly going to answer, but she might know. Now, I’m just going to lay out the dialogue (then explain it obviously) because it’s genuinely amazing. 
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Aventurine starts out by asking Acheron if she is an emanator of nihility, and I find her response to be really interesting. She doesn’t view herself as someone chosen by IX, as nihilism (the feeling of meaningless) envelops everyone equally, but she has simply walked in their shadow longer, tainted on the feeling. This leads Aventurine to question if this is the end, as if life has lost all meaning, in the face of overwhelming nihility, would that mean he’s dead?
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Luckily Acheron immediately disagrees, stating that this is merely a manifestation of IX, not the end (he’s not dead guys idk how anyone can think that). However Aventurine still questions if his death has been determined, but Acheron doesn’t promise it. She mulls over his plan and and Aventurine asks her why she thinks he did it, and Acheron believes it was to find a secret deeper than the dream “deaths: the Real Penacony. He wonders how she found out, and Acheron says it’s the trailblazer’s identity which allowed her (and Aventurine) to come to this conclusion (we don’t yet know how this happened for either of them yet, but 2.2 should give answers).
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They continue, Aventurine reveals that he believes the barrier the family built using the power of the harmony was not just to keep death out but the nightmare that is the real dreamscape. That the Memory Zone is simply a vast island built atop a violent ocean with the barrier keeping whatever nightmarish secrets from washing ashore. In order to break through this barrier and find the real dreamscape, which is why he kept killing himself earlier in the dream, but to no  avail. When Sparkle gave him the hint, he realized it was referring to Firefly, someone who had seen the other side and survived it, even if she was unable to let others know if it. It wasn’t proof of the families wrongdoing, but it was suspicious enough for him to try and get Acheron to kill him, rather than try and find the Meme to recreate Firefly’s death. 
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Acheron points out just how insane this plan was, that if he hadn’t gotten lucky and crossed path with her, it wouldn’t have succeeded. Then, she commends him for playing it perfectly, pitting her perfectly against him and creating a plan that would be beneficial for the IPC no matter what happened, as even if he dies that would be great leverage. However, Aventurine disagrees with that last point, he truly can’t guarantee the IPCs success or even his own survival, that if she hadn’t drawn her blade it would have all be pointless. 
She’s doesn’t let him continue along this line of thought, what-ifs are pointless and he earned his ticket to the dreamscape. What matters now is what happens next, and Acheron asks him if he can return from the abyss (Childe reference?), but more importantly, she questioned if he has ever wavered, as even a gamble as seemingly insane as the one Aventurine just did seems to have not shaken him (from her POV, we know how terrified Aven was but everyone else minus maybe Ratio does). 
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Aventurine tells her perhaps the most fundamental aspect of his character; he gambles simply because he has no other choice, betting on everything because he has nothing else to lose. Acheron tells him to wake up from this “dream” (aka find the true dreamscape), and she presumably goes to leave.
However (and this is my favorite part of the scene), he asks her one more question before she leaves, thinking she might know the answer as a pathstrider of nihility, “Why are we born in this world if it’s just to die?”
Her response is the best possible way you could answer this question. Acheron is an emanator of nihility, but she doesn’t think life is meaningless. The feeling of emptiness and pointlessness envelops everyone equally and that’s exactly why the nihility is pointless. It doesn’t matter that nothing matters, and we aren’t born into this world just to die. 
Aventurine still worries though, after all if the dice of fate will always roll to the same conclusion, then destiny is predetermined, so why struggle? Why does it matter?
Her answer again is not one he would expect, but one that absolutely makes sense. Acheron says the answer has been with Aventurine throughout his entire life and journey on Penacony, and that he’s already somewhat realized it. Aventurine said himself that sleep is a rehearsal of death, but people aren’t ready to welcome death, which is why they sleep to get a taste of it. Sleep is much like death, a realm of unreality in which anything might be possible within the dreams that define its existence. Death itself is an unreality, and nobody truly knows what it’s like to die, but dreams are the closest we might ever get before the end. Like Acheron says, in a way, dreams are just a preparation for death, a practice before it can be welcomed. 
However, much like how dreams can contain anything, even if we cannot choose to experience them or not, life itself is full of choices, regardless of if the ending is determined or not. Acheron understands that there are an infinite amount of things people cannot change before the end, but there are choices you can make up until it. Death is inevitable, but the life you live before it isn’t. This is what the words in red mean, both here and in my opinion, in general. 
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Acheron reminds the trailblazer to make the right choice when time comes for it, in our first meeting with her. However, I don’t think the path we choose matters, but rather the the fact that we chose at all. Now the next paragraph will include a minor discussion of 2.2 leaks, so skip to the next slide if you don’t want to hear it. 
Sunday is getting a bossfight in 2.2, and it’s highly theorized that he works/believes in Ena the Order, especially because it looks like it’s their hand he’s touching in that one animation of the bossfight. Now here’s the thing, Order as a concept Chooses For You. I think the trailblazer making a decision is the thing that will save them and the rest of the gang, as within the face of an entity defined by limiting choice and free will, choosing to well, choose will save them (us?) and perhaps be the thing that gets the trailblazer acknowledged by the Harmony, a concept greater than Order. 
Anyways, after she says that, Acheron leaves Aventurine, saying the answer to his question was from his friend.
And Aventurine pulls out the vial from Dr. Ratio
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The vial telling him that the only impossible thing in the dreamscape is dormancy (meaning the secrets from before are destined to rise and destroy the “island” that is Penacony.
The vial telling him to stay alive and wishing him the best of luck, which in the Chinese version is: 
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Ratio answered both of Aventurine’s questions. The physical one, the one that pertains to Aventurines goals in Penacony, informing him of a vital aspect of the dreamscape that will help him win his gamble. But more importantly, he also answered Aventurine’s emotional one. What is the point of living? There is no real deeper meaning but to stay alive, survive and keep on living, because at the end of the day, that’s the only choice Aventurine can make, and that’s the one Ratio wants him to make.
Ratio Gives Aventurine A Reason To Live. 
Aventurine says that he has nothing left, his family is gone and he has nobody and nothing to fall back on which is why he gambles. But Acheron proves him wrong, he isn’t alone, she calls Ratio his “friend”, says that he’s the solution to his doubt. Someone caring about Aventurine is what saves his life, he walks into the massive black hole unafraid not because he holds some secret power or technique or trick, but because someone cares about him, and that someone taught him that caring about himself is enough. Aventurine didn’t need the power of an emanator to survive the true dreamscape, he only needed a friend, and the will to keep going that he realized from them. 
This is the true meaning of nihility, not that  Aventurine says that he has nothing left, his family is gone and he has nobody and nothing to fall back on which is why he gambles. But Acheron proves him wrong, he isn’t alone, she calls Ratio his “friend”, says that he’s the solution to his doubt. Someone caring about Aventurine is what saves his life, he walks into the massive black hole unafraid not because he holds some secret power or technique or trick, but because someone cares about him, and that someone taught him that caring about himself is enough. Aventurine didn’t need the power of an emanator to survive the true dreamscape, he only needed a friend, and the will to keep going that he realized from them. the universe is meaningless, but that regardless of if it has one or not, it doesn’t matter. It’s this realization that saves Acheron from losing herself like other emanators, it’s this realization that allows Aventurine to cross the event horizon of that manifestation of IX, and it’s this realization that I believe is why Dr. Ratio was never acknowledged by Nous: he was already treading the path of nihility without even realizing it. 
Now this is where my conversation with @aoxizu comes in, and I’m just gonna paste directly what they said because I think it’s amazing and everyone should read it, more importantly it’s what inspired this slideshow in the first place.
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Ratio tells Aventurine to live despite everything because that’s the only thing he can do. It doesn’t matter how absurd life is, or how meaningless it all seems, choose to live anyways, because all you have are choices, and it doesn’t matter if they lead to some grand outcome or future or whatnot. To Ratio, life doesn’t, and shouldn’t care about that. Existence doesn’t need to make sense to be worth it, and that’s a sentiment both me, the characters and the og poster share.
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Acheron is a lot like Ratio, she chooses to live despite having discovered the meaninglessness of the universe. In an existence seemingly black and white she chooses to paint the world red with her choices, accepting its reality and choosing to forge her own path rather than succumb to the madness. That’s why she says in her trailer, “there is no other choice but to move forward” and that’s because there really is no other choice, the universe doesn’t have some grand plan for anyone and you can’t turn back time to change anything, so all you can do is move forward.
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My contribution! I’ve already kinda started but I do want to talk about how Ratio could be treading the path of nihility, but I’ll let this amazing post finish.
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So yeah, amazing post, and I don’t think I could reword what they said in a better way than they did. Bringing up the philosophical aspects of this scene makes me really happy because they are so prominent, but most people aren’t really aware enough to notice. Absurdism is one of the driving inspirations behind the dreamscape, and it’s nice to see someone else besides you (see: my slideshow about Penacony and its American influences for an elaboration on this) bring it up. Honestly I think that philosophy fits Ratio far better than any of the Ancient Greek stuff you try to slap on him. Sure he obviously has the inspirations, but he’s closer in spirit to philosophers from the 1700s to now than them, a reinterpretation of Greek scholars rather than a copy of them. 
And this is where my idea that Ratio is a pathstrider of nihility (and he doesn’t even know it yet) comes in. He doesn’t view knowledge in the same way that pathstriders of Erudition do; knowledge for knowledges sake has never been something Ratio has cared about. Knowledge means something to Ratio because it allows people to better themselves, not because it has some sort of inherent value. That’s why he’s so determined to spread it, he wants everyone to reach their fullest potential, and dedicates his life to doing so. Regardless of if the universe has meaning or not, that doesn’t mean people can’t try and live their best lives, and that’s the philosophy Ratio truly believes in.
Moreover, this is why it’s so meaningful that Ratio is the one to help Aventurine, he’s teaching him something Ratio himself learned long ago when he got rejected by the Genius Society. Despite all of Ratio’s intellect and qualifications, he will never be good enough for them because he simply doesn’t view knowledge in the way they do. But instead of this meaninglessness (nihility) consuming him, Ratio dedicated his life to doing what brought him meaning and validation rather than searching for some hidden answers from the universe (specifically Nous).
And it’s not like he just accepted it happily. Ratio still wants their acknowledgement, and it still hurt (and hurts) him a lot to not have it, which is why I think he unknowingly strides the path of nihility. To Ratio, his view on knowledge is simply how knowledge is, and the fact that Nous will never perceive it in that way because his philosophy is more nihilistic than it is erudite is something Ratio might never come to terms with. But that’s ok. The point is that it’s ok, Ratio doesn’t need to be acknowledged or to understand the truth of the universe to be happy or do well for himself. Our universe might mean nothing and yeah that can and will suck, but existence is more valuable than some grand cosmic plan, and even if you don’t realize it, choosing to live is enough.
Continually, this reminds me of the conversation Aventurine had with his hallucination self, in which he told real Aventurine that him and Ratio are very similar. In a way, they are, both struggling to find meaning in their lives, and Ratio helps Aventurine find meaning in his without really even knowing how. Sure the note was meant to keep Aventurine going, but Ratio caused Aventurine to come to a conclusion that probably won’t find Ratio for a while. He helped Aventurine overcome nihility without even knowing it, without Ratio even realizing that THAT is the thing he has been struggling with, and the path he has been walking the whole time.
I really hope we get to see Ratio again, and at the very least I want a story quest for him because I want to analyze his brain under a microscope. Him and Acheron need to meet asap I want more Ratio content idc if everyone else in the fandom hates him I love him and he’s my pookie bear and I will write 3039493494 things about him when it comes to me UGHHHH. Anyways I didn’t know how end this so this is the ending yaaayyy! I hope you liked it and if you have any thoughts let me know! 
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Og post over! That was a long ass read and past me was absolutely cooking up a storm, oh god did this age well and I was right about or close to right about a lot of shit haha. Anyways I really do hope you enjoyed reading this, and this will hopefully provide some needed context for my next posts on this subject. Also feel free to repost this onto other sites I’m very proud of it
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okkotsuus · 1 year
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the boy you loved (sae i.) !
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features: sae i.
contents: angst. hurt no comfort. mild swearing. toxic realtionship. nostalgia. reader flinches. door slam. breakup. it hurts sorry lol. 1.8k words.
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to the world, sae itoshi was a catch. he is a pro athlete, beautiful, and rich, everything someone could ever want in a partner. sae itoshi is at the pinnacle of his sport at the age of eighteen years old. he was at the forefront of it for longer.
fame has changed sae itoshi.
you knew sae itoshi before the world did. you knew him before the flashing cameras and cheering crowds, back when he couldn’t even kick a soccer ball without falling flat on his ass. sae itoshi was awkward, dorky, and kind. sae itoshi was the boy you loved.
it all began to change when he slowly climbed the ranks of soccer. his goofy grins became more mellowed, shyness turning to aversion. but most of all, he was no longer kind. sae itoshi was no longer the sweet boy who would hold your hand as you walked to school. sae itoshi was no longer to considerate boy that made sure to have your favorite snacks at his home. sae itoshi was no longer the tender-hearted boy who you fell in love with.
sae itoshi is now a man who’s as foreign to you as a stranger.
yet, for some reason, you can’t seem to let him slip through your fingers. nor can he let you slip from his. in a never ending cycle one always ends up crawling back to the other. like some twisted kind of soulmates you can never escape each other.
you loved sae itoshi the boy, but sae itoshi the man is a whole other story.
loving the man, sae itoshi, is many things, but it is not easy.
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loving sae itoshi is tiring.
sitting up on the couch of his apartment for the nth night in a row, waiting and watching the door like a dog for him to come home. 
sae was incredibly dedicated to his sport, staying till the sun died. he just wanted one thing when he came home: to see you. the first thing he wanted to see when he got home was you. the notion had your head spinning and heart pounding when he so boldly proclaimed it.
but now, when you sit on the couch like a wilted flower, you begin to question just how flattering it was. your eyes ached from keeping them open for so long, the soft glow of the lamps beginning to slowly drive you insane.
this empty apartment is exhausting. but you couldn’t blame him. his schedule is bound to be busy, he is a professional athlete, after all.
the lock clicks as your head raises from the phone in your hands. he walks in and looks at you, before immediately walking away. your heart cracks a little more every time this happens.
he is a ritualistic man, it seemed saying “hi” or “missed ya” would throw it off too much.
so, you stand and walk to the bedroom, tucking yourself under the covers while the gentle flow of the shower lulls you to sleep.
you feel the bed slightly dip sometime later into the night, but the wave of sleep sweeps you back under the surface immediately after. what you do not feel: is warmth or an arm around you.
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loving sae itoshi is stressful.
sae leaves for long periods of time consistently. you accept that he cannot always be home, but you ask that he at least texts you moderately.
sae has a habit of ghosting people when he’s away, then just coming back like he’s greater than thou. not like it’s the first time it’s happening.
he’s been gone for two weeks now and hasn’t said a single thing to you. no texts, no calls, nothing. you were worried. you trusted him, it’s not that. he’s just so far away, what if something happened and the last thing he said to you was “bye,” when he left the home for the airport two weeks ago.
you don’t want to think like this, but this new sae was brash in a way that would get him hurt one day. he spoke his mind with no sense of self-preservation, he had no idea of customs in other countries, and he wouldn’t take one damn minute to text you a single word.
so you call rin, asking him with a quiver in your voice if he’s heard from sae. he hasn’t. but can’t help the choked whine that slams in your chest, quickly thanking him and hanging up. your eyes begin to well tears as you pace the empty apartment that seems a lot more foreboding than exhausting now.
crystalline drops run over your face as you desperately try to calm yourself, you were being dramatic. sae always was there to hold you when you cried as a kid, but now you were crying alone because of that same sweet boy.
you fall asleep on the couch that night, not able to bear the vast emptiness of the bed that was meant to be shared.
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loving sae itoshi is slamming doors.
sae was back soon enough, walking into the apartment as if nothing had happened. he watched as you remained seated, not rising to excitedly greet him like your normally would. his brow furrowed as he left it, leaving you on the couch again when he returned home to unpack.
sae itoshi would rather let a problem steep and fester than deal with it directly. the boy you loved would stutter out of concernwith the most adorable flush on his rounded cheeks. but this man was a shell of the boy who loved you, the boy who still holds your one and only heart.
“what’s up with you?” his words come out abrasive as he stands in the bedroom doorway, one hand idly towel-drying his hair while the other was poised against his hip. he had a way of making it feel like you were the problem.
“what’s up with me?! sae you ghosted me for nearly three weeks, do you know how worried i was?” your own voice punches out of your chest before you can bite your tongue to hold back the words. watching as his eyes widen and he gets that haughty look on his face, you hated that look, that sneer.
he spoke with a venom, green eyes drilling into your form. “i’m a grown man, you don’t need to fuss over me. get over it, we’re not snot-nosed brats anymore, y/n.” you felt yourself flinch back as he ended his sentence with a punctuated scoff. he turned and shut the door a little louder than needed, you flinched back as it slammed: slightly shaking on its hinges.
now that he was gone, the tears flowed free again. you really were still a snot-nosed brat, weren’t you? the thought was mocking as the vast apartment began to feel more and more like a cage.
you fell asleep on the couch with dried rivers of tears shed staining your cheeks, nose rubbed raw from incessantly wiping it on your sleeve.
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loving sae itoshi is nostalgic.
sae isn’t all bad nowadays. sometimes you could see the sweet boy that put bandaids on your scraped knees peek through.
in the light of the early morning, his eyes are bright and the soft glow makes his face feel more soft. it reminds you of waking up from sleepovers at the itoshi house, sae’s sleepy face and his messy bed hair.
when he plays football you are reminded of the boy who couldn’t shoot without falling flat on his face. you remember kissing the tip of his reddened nose while wiping the tears that threaten to escape from the corners of his sea-glassy eyes.
when he’s eating his dinner, you see the boy who stuffed his face with puffy cheeks. you see the boy who shoveled food into his mouth after practice, insisting that he needed to grow.
sae itoshi was still the boy you fell in love with, he was just a little lost.
times like this forced you to acknowledge that it was not actually his past self shining through. rather, it was you so desperately looking for any semblance of a shred of the boy who you once loved.
sae itoshi is no longer the boy you fell in love with, that boy died when he went to spain.
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loving sae itoshi is hard.
this decision wasn’t easy. everytime the thought even crossed your mind you felt your eyes sting and your nose run hot. 
but the truth was inevitable and unforgiving. passing moments of joy could no longer help alleviate the aching pain that echoed in the deepest expanses of your soul.
sae itoshi was no longer the boy who you fell in love with, it was the inevitable truth.
you didn’t believe that sae loved you any longer, rather coexisting with you as stability.
you don’t ever want to be a roommate to your partner.
you needed to break up with sae itoshi, to let go of the boy who was so long gone. 
for once in your life, the apartment did not feel so bad. it felt like being in your childhood home for the last time before going off to college.
sae was off today, you planned it so he would be, not wanting to spring it one him before or after practice.
“sae, we need to talk."
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sae knew he had messed up when he heard those words come from your mouth. but the safety net of your unconditional love had spoiled him. so he did not expect for you to leave.
when you said you were leaving, it began to wear. but it was still there, so he expected that you would be coming back soon.
when weeks turned to months with nothing but occasional passing conversations, he began to sweat.
sae itoshi, the ultimate catch, had just lost the love of his life.
the net snapped as he was left falling, plunging into an endless regret. sae itoshi was reminded of every single time he had given you the cold shoulder. every single time he was ruder than necessary. every single time he had forgotten he loved you.
sae itoshi knew he was no longer the boy you loved. but you are still the kid that he fell in love with, the only one who captured his heart.
and he pushed you away.
and damn, it hurt like hell when his apartment began to feel eerily empty without you, a bed meant to be shared becoming cold without another body in it.
sae itoshi realized how you had felt the entire time.
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okkotsuus 23
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