Tumpik
#jason sudeikis
ledtasso · 2 days ago
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You got something, Nate? No. So... No. No. God, no. Never mind, I'm sorry. Come on now. You're one of us. Let's go. Fire away. What do you got? TED LASSO — 1.03 “Trent Crimm: The Independent”.
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tedssweaters · a day ago
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Requests: Heyyyyy, could you write ted lasso x reader where reader likes ted, and she vents about it with rebecca or keeley and ted listens to it but thinks it’s for somebody else, not him? I’m so sorry for my English, and thank you very much! /// hiiii could you write ted x reader where reader gets jealous of ted with sassy (like reader has a crush on ted but never told anyone about it) and reader is younger than him and thinks that maybe nothing will happen between them?? the drama of it all lol, okay thank you byeee
Description: When you and Ted both eavesdrop on conversations of the other, miscommunication occurs that leads to tears, laughter, and confessions.
Warnings: lots of angst, idk, kinda mentions of divorce
Pairing: Ted Lasso x reader
Word Count: 4.3k
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You drop the stack of files on the desk outside Rebecca’s office, pulling a highlighter out of your pocket, needing to mark one more line that you noticed was missed on the walk from your room. Biting the cap off, you hold the plastic in between your teeth as you trace the line on the paper, pausing to listen when you overhear voices from the office. “Now boss, you know I wouldn’t keep anything from you, it's just not in my nature. But a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, and that includes the person that signs my checks.”
Initially, you chuckle at Ted’s mannerisms - even after two years in England, he hadn’t lost that endearing midwest charm. However, your laughter falls flat when you realize the implications of his words, who did he kiss and how did Rebecca know to ask? You weren’t one to eavesdrop, you knew it was rude and you would never want to invade someone’s privacy, especially not the privacy of your two bosses. However, all logic seemed to go out the window when imagining the American gaffer kissing someone. 
“Oh Ted please, we’re both adults, we’ve both been married, we’ve both been through heartbreak, so please tell me, what do you think of Sassy?” Sassy? Why did you recognize that name? Well, if you could even consider that a name. You cap the highlighter, returning the writing utensil to your pocket before listening back in, “Why she’s just fine and dandy, nicer than the whole French city.” 
Discarding your previous plan of handing the files directly to Rebecca, you instead write her a message on a sticky note and place it on top of the stack, leaving said stack on the desk. As you leave, you hear one more pressing question from Rebecca, “Oh Ted, please speak plainly for once and tell me what you think.” As you head back to your office, you can’t help but wish you were on Ted’s mind as much as he is on yours.
As you sit at your desk, you can’t help but think about Ted and Rebecca’s conversation, how did Ted meet Sassy? And where in the world do you know this name from? It feels like Ted spends all his time devoted to the team, how could he even have the opportunity to meet someone? He eats every meal at Crown and Anchor with Beard, and oftentimes you, that doesn’t give him much of an opportunity to meet a woman at the pub. The rest of his life is spent at his flat or Nelson Road, at least that’s how he made it seem when you all talked about your lives outside of work.
The Liverpool match took up so much of his attention, and it paid off if the game was to be used as evidence. Liverpool! That’s why you know the name Sassy! She was Rebecca’s mate who you met briefly after the game, Keeley was practically attached to her hip. Of course, it had to be Sassy, you couldn’t even go talk to your best friend about how you were feeling, she was practically in love with your competition.
Not that Sassy could even consider you as competition, Ted hardly knew you existed, well, on a romantic level at least. Working as Richmond’s physical therapist, you often made decisions hand in hand with Ted. It was not something you had experienced before with coaches at the previous amateur teams you worked with, they just did what they wanted and left you to pick up the pieces of their sore players. Ted, on the other hand, wanted you right there as he created plays and decided which players should fill which roles, he wanted to make the decisions that were best for the team’s success but also best for the safety and health of his players.
You considered Ted a close friend and you liked to think he thought the same of you, but that’s all it would ever be in his eyes. You were about twenty years his junior, after all, he was far in his career and a wonderful dad, and he had been married before. You, on the other hand, were just starting off, Richmond was your first role as head therapist, many still saw you as a kid even in your mid-20s, and your longest relationship had only lasted a year before your ex decided you were “too much” for him. 
To the rest of the world, you were at two stages in your life, how could that ever even work? But in your mind, none of that truly mattered. Different stages in your career didn’t really mean anything, you loved kids and were getting to the point of wanting to start your own family. But at the end of the day, you were inexperienced, you had run off every partner you ever had because of how “needy” you were. You were young. Too young. So you would love Ted from afar, laughing at pop culture references that no one else but Beard understood, nodding in agreement at his motivational speeches to the boys, and admiring the way he put his entire self into everything that he did.
Noticing the time, you realize you would be running late for the pre-training meeting if you didn’t get a move on. You grab your copy of the playbook, checking the pockets of your athletic leggings for your signature highlighter and red pen. You head down the hallway to the locker room, passing through the gym when you hear low voices, looking over to notice the window shared with the coaches’ office was open. “Well, are you going to ask her out, Coach?” 
Your eyes widen, walking far enough into the room where you are hidden from the view through the window, deciding to again selfishly listen in, “That’s the thing Coach, I would love that. But I’m me and she’s… well, she’s her. I tell the boys to not be judgmental, but I can’t help but judge myself for having these feelings.” You sigh softly as you shake your head, you hated that Ted thought this way about himself. Any woman would be lucky to have Ted, even if that woman was Sassy and not you. “Ah fuckin’ ‘ell Lasso, you would tell any of those muppets in there to go for what they wanted, why shouldn’t you get to do the same thing?” 
You clear your throat quietly, pushing down tears as they well in your eyes, rounding the corner to make yourself known before you have to hear Ted talk about Sassy even more, “Hey team!” Three men in the room jump slightly, startled by your appearance while Roy remains still, not being surprised by anything apparently. Ted runs his hand through his hair, seeming to be frazzled, “Well what do you know, Ms. Sheryl Crow, how’re you Y/N?”
A laugh leaves your mouth though it is much quieter than your normal response to Ted’s humor, something you hope goes unnoticed by the rest of the room. “Oh, I’m okay, just life as normal.” Giving a tight-lipped and forced smile, you thank every god above as Nate asks a question, a stupid one at that, which switches the conversation off of you. Roy lets out a groan and disgruntled mutter about Nate, an offhanded comment that brings out a laugh, hoping your smile dispels any suspicions anyone had about you and your short response to the earlier question. And for the most part, it does, no one in the room is any the wiser about how you are truly feeling, no one, that is, but Ted, whose concerned eyes never leave you.
By the time training was done, you felt emotionally exhausted. After hours of canned laughter, forced smiles, and repressed tears, you just wanted to go home. But nope, it was then a couple of hours in the clinic working on the players. Thankfully with a more hands-on task, the time passed quicker than it did during training. Back in your office, you pack up your backpack before hearing a knock, looking up to find Keeley at the door with her signature smile. “Babes! You’re not answering your texts!” You turn on your phone as it sits on your desk, realizing you have numerous texts from her as well as other contacts, “Shit, sorry Keels, I’m just out of it today.”
Keeley’s smile falls, clearly able to tell that you are not your normal cheery self, “What’s up? Why are you so frowny?” You attempt to give her a smile but before she can even call you on your bullshit, your tears can no longer be held back. “Oh, babes!” She walks you over to the couch in your office, and sits you down, passing you a tissue from the box on your coffee table, “What is going on? Does Roy need to beat some prick up?” You laugh lightly as you wipe away your tears though your effort is for nothing, more tears just falling in their absence, “N-no, it's okay. I don’t want to bother you.”
Your friend looks at you with wide eyes, “Are you absolutely mental? Something that is bugging you like this is never going to be a bother.” You shrug slightly, looking at your lap in embarrassment, “I know I’m not your only friend though, and I don’t want to be an arse and talk shit about someone you like.” Keeley pulls you closer, rubbing your arm in a comforting manner, “You’re right, I do have other friends. But none like you, you’re my best mate. Now tell me what’s going on.” 
Taking a deep breath, you tell Keeley what you overheard earlier in the day, both from Rebecca’s office and the coaches’ office. She nods along as you speak, paying close attention until you let out a sigh after finishing your story, “Well, I haven’t talked to Rebecca today, so I don’t know what Ted said. But I do know that Sassy left to find Ted the other night in Liverpool and then came back like, ten minutes later.” You shake your head as you wipe away your last tears, “But that doesn’t mean anything Keeley. They still kissed. It's not like I had a chance with Ted anyway but now I really don’t, he has real feelings for her!” Admitting out loud what you had been ruing all day, you begin to cry again, sobbing softly at how stupid you felt. 
Approaching your office door, Ted ran through his script in his mind. He wanted to check on you but he also didn’t want to cross any boundaries. Sure, you were friends, really good friends he would say, but you also technically work for him and you’re a beautiful young woman. He would never want to make you uncomfortable. Which is why he came up with what to ask you, wanting to be careful to avoid stepping over the line. 
However, his script was immediately forgotten as he reached your ajar door, hearing your cries from behind. His brows furrowed, terrified that you were hurt, either physically or emotionally, and determined to help however he could. But before he could push the door open more, he heard someone quietly shushing you, someone he soon recognized to be Keeley. He paused, relieved to know that you weren’t alone while feeling this way. He weighed his decisions, popping his head in to offer his aid and support or leave you two ladies be. But before he could decide, he hears your soft voice from the other side of the door, “There’s no reason he would want to be with me, I know that. He’s absolutely perfect, he would never want an idiot kid like me when he could get someone like her. Even though I always knew that I just feel so broken now that it actually happened.”
Ted backed away from the door, slowly walking to Nelson Road’s exit and making his way home, sending a quick text to Beard to apologize for not being able to make it to beers that night. As he walked on the cobblestone path, he couldn’t help but feel his heart hurt, how could you think that way about yourself? You were one of the most amazing people Ted had ever met. You were incredibly intelligent and ridiculously gorgeous; you appreciated all of his humor and had compassion that rivaled that of the virgin Mary. Hell, all of this and more is why he fell for you. But of course, you had your eyes set on someone else. It only makes sense. You were still young, you had so much of your life ahead of you, and he was a tied-down old man with a kid. Let’s be honest, your job was literally to touch and massage some of the most athletic people in the world, why would you want to be with him?
Even though he was feeling a bit torn up at confirmation that his feelings were unrequited, he felt most sad about how you talked about yourself. No one deserved to feel unworthy of love, but you especially didn’t deserve that. You always made sure everyone in your life was supported and had all they needed, it was one of the first things he noticed about you. When he was putting together birthday celebrations for Sam during his first week, you were already making a grocery list of cake supplies before Ted even came to you with his idea. You had a calendar with all of the players’ birthdays sitting on your smaller desk, working as an assistant physical therapist at the time, and knew that Sam’s was coming up. On your small salary and in your unappreciated position, you wanted to make sure the birthday boy didn’t go unrecognized. If you could offer that love to everyone in your life, even those that annoyed you like Nate, you deserved to have someone show you that same love, if not an even greater love.
After a talk with Keeley that was full of hugs, tears, and dirty jokes (mostly from her), you made your way home, deciding to have a quiet night filled with ice cream and Nancy Meyers films. Keeley offered to join you though you quickly brushed her off, sending her to have a conversation with Roy after she told you about their kiss over the weekend that ended with him running off like a fucking twat. Pulling your fuzzy blanket over your crossed legs, you pulled the ice cream carton from its spot on your coffee table and into your lap, pressing play on The Holiday. You roll your eyes at Jude Law’s flirting, what bullshit. A man with an accent foreign to the woman, a man with a young child mind you, was gonna get the girl, and that girl was gonna get her happy ending. Fucking Hollywood lies.
Your internal screaming fit at the television was interrupted by a knock on the door. You groan, putting the frozen tub back on the coffee table, wrapping your blanket around you as you walk to the door in your pajamas, “Right as I got fucking comfortable.” You open the door, planning to rudely take your anger out on the person likely meaning to knock on your neighbor’s door, but instead, you find your favorite American standing there, hands in his pockets as he nervously makes eye contact with you, “Ted?” He takes a hand out, giving you a small wave, “W-what are you doing here?” He ponders your question before looking around, seeming to remember he’s still in the hallway of your flat building, “Can I come in?” 
Nodding, you open the door wider to allow him in, closing it behind him before you walk over to the living room, grabbing your ice cream container and then making the short walk to your kitchen to put it in the freezer. “I love the soundtrack for this one.” Walking back into the living room, you offer Ted a confused look before noticing him point to your film selection, “Oh yeah. It’s a great one, even if the plot is unrealistic bullshit.” Ted’s eyes widen as you cross the room to the couch, sit down and turn off the television. Sure, you cuss occasionally, but never in such an intense and negative tone. He apprehensively sits on the other side of the couch, turning to see you looking at him expectantly, “Why are you here, Ted?”
Ted clears his throat, his mind suddenly blank. He had practiced exactly what to say to you on the way over, how to gracefully tell you that he accidentally eavesdropped while also telling you that anyone would be lucky to have you but keeping his feelings a secret. He had figured it all out but the moment he saw you, he lost it all. He could only focus on you. “Oh, um well, I was worried about you. This morning, you weren’t exactly yourself and I wanted to check in.” 
You show a small smile at his compassion, of course, he noticed that something was wrong and of course, that meant he then took the time out of his evening to come and check on you. This man was practically perfect, and yet he wasn’t yours, “Yeah, I mean, it was just a rough morning. Got some bad news before training, that’s all. Ted, it's nice and all that you came over to check on me, but you really didn’t have to change your evening plans to do that.” Ted nods in response, looking down as he plays a bit with his fingers, he knows he didn’t have to, he wanted to though, “I know that. Truthfully, I stopped by your office earlier to check on you but you already had company.
Cocking your head to the side, you look at him confused, you had no clue what he was referring to. No one had been in your office that day, no one but you and, oh god, “Shit.” You stand up, beginning to pace around the room with anxiety. Of course, your luck worked out like this. You cried at work about being in love with your boss and he overheard, of course, because why wouldn’t that happen? He was there to fire you, to let you down easily both about your feelings and your job. “Shit, Ted, I’m sorry. I-I promise, this won’t get in the way of my job. I love Richmond and I love the team, please, I would never want to put that in jeopardy.”
Looking confused out of his mind, Ted stands up and steps in front of you, stopping your pacing, “Woah, Y/N, I’m not firing you. Honestly, I don’t even know if I have the power to do that, I like to leave all that stuff up to Mrs. Big Boss. But, even if I did, why would I fire you over being sad that someone you like turned you down? Now, I thought you would know me better than to think I would do something like that.” You look up with wide eyes, he didn’t know, he didn’t know the ‘someone’ was him. “Oh no, um, I know that Ted, sorry. I just, I thought it was something else.”
Thankfully he lets you off without further explanation, though he was still incredibly lost, what else could it have been that you would think would be worthy of him firing you? You return to your spot on the couch, expecting him to follow you except it was now his turn to anxiously pace. “Now, one time in middle school, we had a dance unit and were taught different kinds of dances like line dancing and square dancing. They also taught us disco and I was just absolutely horrible, could not get it down no matter how many times I watched Saturday Night Fever. I bring this up because I don’t want that again, I want to avoid bad vibes as much as I can.” You nod, holding in a laugh at his story, not wanting to interrupt whatever he was working up to say, “I overheard what you said to Ms. Keeley and I just want you to know, Y/N, it is not true at all.”
Your breath catches in your throat, what did he just say? “Now, I don’t know who this guy is but he must be darn stupid if he’s letting you get away. But ya know what, forget him. You don’t need him. You are just perfect on your own. You are not an idiot and you’re not a kid, which I’m pretty sure means you scientifically can’t be an idiot kid. I know I’m just an old man saying all this and it probably doesn’t matter but just…Hell, I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time and I’m still not entirely in it, I’m as single as a batter running only to first base. None of this probably means anything to you, but I hope you believe me because you are one special woman, Y/N.”
You were speechless, Ted just said everything you ever wanted to hear and yet you could only focus on one part, “What about Sassy?” Having turned himself away from you in his nervous pacing during his monologue, Ted turns to face you with a wild expression on his face, “What’re you on about?” You look down at your hands, shrugging as you wonder if you can get yourself out of the situation, “Just, this morning, before training, I overheard you talking to Rebecca and she asked you about Sassy. You said you don’t kiss and tell…” You trail off, not wanting to finish your sentence one because you hadn’t stayed around long enough to hear Ted’s response beyond that, but also because you were worried about what that answer was. “Before training? Was this before or after you got your bad news?” 
Fuck, he was figuring it out.
Sighing, Ted walks over to the couch, sitting closer to you this time, your knees almost close enough to touch but still leaving a distance between the two of you, “Y/N, Sassy found me this weekend after the match and kissed me,” you nod sadly in response, looking away as you hope he can’t see the tears beginning to roll down your face, “but I pulled away so I could tell her I was interested in someone else.” Why was he telling you this? He’s not interested in Sassy, so what? Not like the specific person matters to you, it hurt just the same. Ted sighs again, sliding just close enough that your knees bump each other, “Honey, please look at me.”
You turn to meet Ted’s eyes, his expression falling when he sees the tears running down both cheeks. He raises a hand, gently brushing the tears away, “Why are you crying?” You shake your head which then shakes his hand off, bringing your palm up to wipe away your tears, “’s stupid.” Ted tuts at you, “It’s not stupid if it’s got you worked up like this.” 
Well, you’re already crying in front of Ted and are too embarrassed to ever show your face at work again, hopefully, Rebecca will accept an emailed letter of resignation and still be willing to be a reference, “It’s you.” Ted’s heart drops, he made you cry like this? Should he have not said any of those things? Did he say something wrong? He should have never come over, he just knew it, stupid Ted, always messing things up, “I-I made you cry?” You shake your head again, still not meeting his eyes, “No, well, kinda. Ted, it’s you, you’re the guy. I was talking to Keeley about you.” 
Ted lets out a chuckle, unable to keep it in. What the fuck, you basically just told this man, your boss that you’re in love with him and he has the audacity to laugh? Before you can ask what the hell is wrong with him, his voice interrupts his laughter, “Well, this is perfect.” You lift your eyes to meet his, seeing a bright smile across his face, how can he possibly be smiling right now? Seeing the confusion on your face, Ted places his hand on your knee, “You’re the ‘someone else’, Y/N. I told Sassy I’m not interested in her because I have feelings for you.” 
The world stopped. Well, it didn’t, it still moved on its axis while also moving around the sun but for you, the world stopped. The world stopped as your world sat in front of you, telling you that he felt the same. “What?” You were struck with disbelief, how could Ted feel the same? He was a successful coach and the best father in the world and you were merely a member of his team who can only barely rent a car legally. Ted nods, his smile seeming to grow even though you didn’t think that was possible from how wide it had been, “Yeah darling, it’s you.” 
Your smile matches his as you launch yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck as his wrap around your waist, it was perfect, it was natural. Though you wish you could spend the rest of the time like that, you pull away, your faces close enough that he rubs the tip of his nose against yours. “Are we really doing this?” Ted smiles softly at you, sensing your euphoric feeling of disbelief because he was experiencing it too, “I think we are.” 
You let out an excited squeal, pulling him in for a kiss. It was messy, far too much teeth from you both still smiling and your dried tears seemed to stick to his skin but it didn’t matter. It was messy but it was perfect, just like the two of you.
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joeythephatone · 2 days ago
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Jason Sudeikis in "The Last Man on Earth" (#4.15)
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urbanhiking · 2 days ago
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Ted Lasso || For Science 🥼 Redux
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tedllasso · 21 hours ago
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TODAY I’M GONNA CHEER FOR THE USA FOR THESE 2 DORKS. 
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starrynight29 · a day ago
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funnytwittertweets · a month ago
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allthesepurplelights · a year ago
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an american coming face to face with universal healthcare
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welton-lasso · 18 days ago
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thisismysecondrodeo · 5 months ago
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My current favorite genre of television: "Letting actors I know from their previous comedy roles ruin me emotionally"
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imlorelai · a year ago
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ledtasso · 2 months ago
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TED LASSO — 2.06 "The Signal". You got to tell Roy he needs to start coaching me. You want me to tell Roy Kent what to do? That's a great idea.
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tedssweaters · 2 days ago
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Running Late
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Requests: Waaaaiiiiitttt can I ask for getting ready for an event with Jason and him watching you do make up??? Fluff orrr smut orrrrrrrr both you're in charge lol /// ............did I hear getting ready with Jason? Possibly smut? 👀🥵Because I'm just throwing fluffy and affectionate smut sitting on the bathroom counter out there........but honestly I'll read anything I'm foaming at the mouth because we're being fed with content lately
Description: While getting ready for the 2022 Emmy's, Jason helps you do your makeup and that leads to the two of you getting a bit...distracted.
Warnings: Smut, oral (m and f receiving), mentions of O*ivia
Pairing: Jason Sudeikis x reader
Word Count: 2.5k
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Retying your towel’s knot, you let out a frustrated groan, it had slid down god knows how many times, and you just didn’t have the time for it. Walking into the bathroom and leaning against the door frame, Jason watched you with an amused smile. With his top two buttons undone and his hair loose with no product, he couldn’t help his eyes from raking up and down your body, “You know, I’m sure it would be easier if you just the towel fall, didn’t worry about it at all.” 
You turn to the cheeky man, a small smirk on your face paired with a quirked eyebrow, “Oh, would that be easier? Are you sure that wouldn’t bother you too much? I don’t want to bother you before your big night or anything.” Jason’s amused smile turned into a smirk as he jokingly contemplated your questions, “I mean, I can take one for the team. If I must.”
Shaking your head at him with a laugh, you turn back to the mirror, checking to make sure your foundation was even. You didn’t want your face to look too cakey, especially since it would be the talk of Twitter and Instagram the next day. You didn’t need your bad makeup decisions to take the attention away from Jason’s Emmy wins. Though he refused to entertain the thought of him winning once again instead of one of the other nominees, you knew he would be taking home the award for “Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series” that evening.
Moving to sit on the edge of the bathtub centered in the hotel’s bathroom, Jason watched you put on your concealer and highlighter, having no clue what either of them truly did but perfectly content admiring your beauty and concentration. Olivia never really liked Jason around when she was getting ready, she felt like there was no reason for it, that he would just distract her. Not that she had much to be distracted from though, she always had a glam squad getting her ready and needed every single thing about her appearance to be perfect. 
You, on the other hand, absolutely refused a glam squad when Jason offered to hire one for your first award show together. “What, Jason, no, I don’t need all that. I can get myself ready, I’d rather spend the afternoon together just the two of us before an evening of excitement and partying.” Of course, Jason had his own glam squad for major events, but that consisted of one hair stylist and his assistant dropping off his outfit. While a glam squad for you would consist of hours of preparation until leaving for the red carpet, his lasted only about 30 minutes and was done two hours before your departure.
Jason watching you put on your makeup had now become some sort of a tradition before premieres and award shows. When you two had the kids with you, Daisy and Otis would have fun with you doing their makeup too, going out and getting fun eyeshadows and lip glosses once you found out how much they enjoyed it. Even though he had watched your process numerous times, he became nervous every time you brought out the eyelash curler. Watching you do your left eye, he nervously fidgeted with his fingers, what if you poked your eye out? What if you pulled out all of your eyelashes and then were in a bunch of pain? He couldn’t handle the thought of you in pain. 
Meeting his gaze in the mirror, you turned to face him when noticing his nervous expression, taking the curler off after 10 seconds. “Jason, you okay?” Gulping as he nodded, he rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah, I just always get nervous when you use that thing. It looks like a torture device.” Chuckling, you move close to him, standing in between his legs as you offer the curler to him, “Here, you do my other one. You’ll see there’s nothing to worry about.”
Jason widens his eyes at you, taking the metal piece into his hand as you adjust your position, straddling one of his thighs and placing both feet on the ground to balance yourself, you certainly didn’t need any accidents while he held something so close to your eyes. Sliding up his thigh, you close the gap between you two, Jason placing his free hand on your hip to steady you, “Are you sure? What if I hurt you?” Smiling at his worry, you kiss the tip of his nose to reassure him, “You won’t, I promise.”
You close your eyes as he nods apprehensively, opening up the curler and closing it on your lashes. He lets out a deep breath, you were right, he wasn’t hurting you. You show him a small smile, the two of you sharing the same air with how close you are. Opening the curler and taking it away from your face, you open your eyes, realizing just how close the two of you are. Before you can make a teasing comment or kiss him, your towel begins to fall down again. Adjusting the towel so it stays up, you wiggle a bit on Jason’s upper thigh, a movement that elicits a deep growl from the man, “Y/N. Stop that.” You look up at him with a confused expression before noticing the dark look in his eyes. “Oh, okay.” Looking at the clock on the wall, you realize you have twenty minutes before you have to leave. “Jas, we don’t have enough time.” Glancing back at the clock and realizing the same thing you did, he turns to you with a smirk on his face, “I’m fine with being late.”
Sliding you off his leg, Jason stands up and backs you toward the bathroom counter, picking you up and placing you in between the two sinks. Leaning forward to kiss you passionately, Jason grips your hips tightly, biting on your bottom lip so that you’ll grant him access. You explore each other’s mouths which serves as a distraction while Jason pulls at the knot, the towel falling off your body.
Moving from your lips to your neck, Jason leaves small bites and licks, having to refrain from leaving love marks. He continues down, placing light kisses around your nipple before sucking the nub into his mouth, biting it to bring out your whimpers that he loves so much. Switching to your other breast, he leaves numerous bites and bruises, glad that he can at least mark you as his on that part of your body, even if no one will see it.
Kneeling onto the ground, Jason pulls your hips forward, placing you on the edge of the counter so that he can have the best access to make you feel good. Seeing that you were beginning to drip with arousal, Jason smiles brightly, pleased to know that he affects you just as much as you affect him. He kisses up your thighs, sucking bruises into the skin, wanting you to look in to mirror the next day and remember where his head was on his journey to paradise.
You whine, wrapping your legs around his head to lock him in place, tugging on his hair in desperation, “Jason, please…” Looking up at you, he is blown away by how gorgeous you look from the angle, your eyes closed tightly in anticipation, your chest heaving up and down quickly as you try to catch your breath. He places one more kiss on your inner thigh before placing a light kiss on your clit, causing you to let out a small moan. He places one hand on your hip and the other on your outer thigh, rubbing circles into your skin as he dives into your core, licking soft stripes between your folds. He curls his tongue in, exploring as deep as he can before coming back to the surface, sucking your clit into his mouth before he runs his teeth over the sensitive nub, bringing out a moan from deep in your throat.
He groans at the sound you make, wishing nothing more than to be inside you but knowing you don’t have the time. He focuses back on your core, drinking it in like it's a cool iced tea on a hot summer day. His feverish licks cause his mustache to rub against your clit, the bristly ends of the hair overstimulating you, “J-Jas, I’m close.” 
Jason hums contently, wanting to taste you on his tongue but also wanting to bring you to that bliss, wanting to please you as much as he can. He continues the rhythm he has going, inching forward so that his tongue can reach even deeper, the point of his nose rocking against your clit as you begin to rut against his face. Letting out gasps, you tug at his hair while your vision turns white, your legs shaking as Jason enjoys his meal, lapping up every last drop. 
As you catch your breath, Jason rises back to his feet, giving you a kiss on the forehead as he rubs your lower back, “You’re always such a good girl for me, baby. It’s nice to know you’ll listen to me. Always make me proud.” Leaning up, you press a kiss to the underside of his chin, missing the feeling of his scruff after the hair stylist cleaned him up earlier. “Can I show you just how good of a girl I am?”
He glances down at his watch, you have 10 minutes before you are supposed to be down at the town car, but who was he to let down his sweet girl, “I’d love that, beautiful.” You slide off the counter, your legs feeling a bit shaky though you quickly gain your balance. Pushing him back, Jason now stands in front of the bathtub, watching you fondly as you unzip his pants and slide down both of his bottom layers in one motion, not wasting any time. At your direction, he sits on the edge of the tub, your roles reversed from a minute ago as you now kneel on the floor. You take his cock into your hands, squeezing it lightly as Jason mewls at you barely touching it, “Gonna take care of you bubs, gonna start your celebration now.” Leaning forward, you lick at his tip before taking him in your mouth, causing a deep groan to leave Jason’s mouth as he throws his head back. 
You take as much of him as you can, your hands working the rest that you are unable to fit. Bobbing up and down, you hollow your cheeks as you attempt to find your rhythm, not used to doing it on your own. Normally, you and Jason both enjoy him holding your hair back and deciding your pace, fucking himself into your mouth, but with your hair done, there seemed to be an unspoken agreement that you would abstain from that this time. Going off of the volume of his moans, you stay at your current pace, using one of your hands to play with his balls, massaging them as your other hand worked the base of his dick. 
Jason gripped the side of the tub as much as he could, though the porcelain material didn't really allow for it. “I’m almost there baby, so close.” You grip his balls slightly, applying some pressure to them as you hollow your cheeks as much as you can, taking him even deeper to the point of you gagging until you feel him send ropes of cum down your throat. Once he has no more to give and is attempting to slow his heart, you pull off him, licking your lips before placing a kiss on his softening member before standing up. Jason pulls you into him, kissing you passionately as he places both hands on your ass, holding you as close as he possibly can.
You pull away, both of you catching your breath after the hot kiss, each of you able to taste yourself on the other’s lips. Stepping back, you look at the clock. You had five minutes before you should be leaving, meanwhile, your makeup and hair are done but you are completely naked and Jason’s hair needs fixing, his shirt needs buttoning, and his outfit is incomplete without his tie and jacket. You give him a quick kiss before hurrying to the bedroom, throwing on your underwear before unzipping the bag your dress hung in. Letting Jason buy you a dress to wear for your first event took convincing, you hated the idea of him spending money on you. But after years together and knowing you would be spending the rest of your lives together, you knew there was no point in fighting it, he wanted to spoil his girl.
Slipping on your dress, you look in the mirror, admiring the way the shade of red popped, happy with the choice you made a couple of weeks back. Reaching behind, you struggle to reach the zipper, unable to pull it up yourself. “Jason, can you come zip me up please?” Humming in response, Jason fixes the last piece of his hair, hoping he replicated how it looked earlier and that he wouldn’t get an angry text from his stylist when photos came out later that evening. He enters the room, letting out a whistle when he sees you, “Goddamn, I’m a lucky man.” You blush deeply, still responding like a schoolgirl when he compliments you, even after all this time. He stands behind you, pulling your zipper all the way up before placing a soft kiss to the back of your neck. You turn around, giving him a kiss in thanks before returning to the bathroom to put on your lipstick. When you enter the bedroom again, Jason is sitting on the edge of the bed with a buttoned shirt, perfect tie, and lint-free jacket.
“Hey, darling?” You hum in response, not looking up so that you can give your heels all of your attention, not wanting to fall over as you put them on, “You swear I’ll win tonight, right?” Secured in your shoes, you turn around to see him standing in between you and the door, his phone in one hand and your clutch in the other, “Yes, I do swear you’ll win.” He smiles brightly at your confidence in him, “Well then, if I win, can I choose my prize when we come back after?” You chuckle as you close the distance between you, even after having a quickie, Jason was already thinking about getting you in bed after the awards show. “Sure babe, you can choose your prize.”
He kisses you quickly before wrapping an arm around you, the two of you heading to the door before turning off the room lights, then making your way down the hallway. As you stand in the descending elevator, you pull your phone out of your clutch only to notice the time, “Shit, Jason, we’re late.” Jason glances at your phone, chuckling before kissing you on the temple as the doors open, “Totally worth it.”
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joeythephatone · 2 days ago
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Jason Sudeikis in "The Last Man on Earth" (#4.16)
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here-there-everyfuckenwhere · 5 months ago
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My favourite thing in the world is when someone on this hellsite posts a picture of a middle aged man literally just sitting there doing nothing and the caption is like “OH MY FUCKING GOD HE IS SUCH A SLUT I CANT BELIEVE HIM”
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stedelasso · 9 months ago
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Ted Lasso Week - Day 2: Favorite Dynamic/Relationship 
He’ll be here. Beard’s like the mailman, you know? He always delivers and he looks great in shorts.
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